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Persephone

Infinite Screms
Pronouns
her/hers
Partners
  1. mawile
  2. vulpix-alola
I honestly don't remember if I left a proper review for the first arc but you aren't getting one so suck it up and get over yourself.

*Ahem*

Anyway, here's your revuwu for part tuwu.

Chapter Thirty-One: Really? You taught your floatzel three water moves and bulk up? Lanceleon taught you better, Jade. This is why he had to capture latias: he couldn't trust your "two special moves and bulk up" self with the world's future. Unless Sebastian didn't teach "Jade" at all, because the time skip is meant to obscure the obvious Heart Swap between Jade and Stracion that means that the latter is actually the narrator and protagonist from this point on. There are a lot of subtle red herrings to distract from the obvious truth, like when "Jade" remembers "her childhood," but I'm sure they had time to trade notes and switch their thinking to fool telepaths. I'm onto you, Chibi.

Jet is a very good fren who deserves all the hugs and praises. And I don't quite get how four badges take eight months when she can fly between Blackthorn and Olivine, pretty much the full region apart, within an afternoon. Has she really spent that much time training? Even half-heartedly getting eight badges should be easy if you're just flying across the region and skipping the routes.

Side note, I think OSJ might hate you for that decision. Full Johto journey fic or bust.

Chapter Thirty-Two: WAIT. WAIT. HOLD UP A MINUTE. YOU SKIPPED A BADGE. THERE WAS A BADGE FIGHT AND YOU DIDN'T SHOW IT. HOW DARE YOU. THIS BREAKS ALL THE RULES. I ONLY KEPT READING BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD READ ABOUT THE BLACKTHORN FIGHT. AND THEN YOU JUST. DIDN'T. WHO DOES THAT. Art is technically part of the chapter so I'm allowed to say that houndoom and pupitar art is good. I thought there might be some tension here since this is Stracion's first encounter with an old enemy, but you skillfully downplay that so that the heart swap isn't obvious until later on. For all of Stracion's thoughts on how surprise coverage strats won't work in the league, she never mentioned that digging away from a ground type is a bad habit to get into, even if Jade can't really punish it at the moment. Neither Rockets nor league competitors are going to let that slide.

Chapter Thirty-Three: I'd kind of forgotten that Jade was way younger than Starr and Ajia. How were they friends again? I'd figured it was a classroom thing since they probably weren't neighbors. I don't remember Jade's family being too well off and Giovanni probably wouldn't want to live in the poors neighborhood, much less next to a ranger family. Unless Ajia's dad is in Giovanni's pocket. Lovely foreshadowing if so.

Starr's expression is great. Top tier Starr art. Starrt. Not much of Silver, though. And he has the wrong hair color. Please fix.

Chapter Thirty-Four: NO MOPING, STRACION. I DID NOT READ THIS FIC FOR MOPING. I READ THIS FIC FOR ACTION. PLEASE GET BACK TO DOING BADASS THINGS AND DESCRIBING HOW BADASS THEY ARE AND WOW THE READER IS VERY COOL FOR READING THIS BADASS STUFF.

More seriously, there is an interesting bit here between conflicting themes. One of the story's selling points is so much action, wow, legendary action figures smash together like boom boom rawr bam oh no is captured, psyche, ball exploded. But also action bad? I should feel bad for liking action? Should read a fic that isn't about child soldiers? Okay, can you give me a rec? Thank you.

Also saying that "oh wow I'm totes about to die" loses its effectiveness when after the same phrase being used in thirty-something chapters the protagonist has not, in fact, died. I understand that it probably is running through her head, but reading a bunch of chapters in a row kind of makes it grating. Of course there's going to be a deus ex machina. I, the reader, know this. Another text-subtext clusterfluffle that I don't actually know how to resolve.

Also, "Jade" is really bad with brawling strategy. I like that. Totally clueless and repeatedly shows how far over her head she is. Which, unfortunately, does necessitate constant deus ex to save her. Oh well. Anyway, she did bring a decent Game against Ender. Have to love badass Altaria.

Chapter Thirty-Five: The only note I wrote about this was "what a cute mew" because this was in the day I read, like, eight chapters or something. It is a cute mew drawing, though. And it does set up the best chapter in the entire fic.

Chapter Thirty-Six: I'm not sure that I fully understood this chapter so I'm afraid that I have to summarize. Basically, Lugia invites someone to their damp cave in order to link their souls and pledge commitment to each other until death do them part. Did I get all that right? In any case, good clean fun. Would recommend.

Chapter Thirty-Seven: I'm not sure if this is all in this chapter or not, but we did spend some time chatting in DMs about if Ajia is really the worst or if that's always been Mew. I maintain that both are awful. The whole tension / ship-bait around "only Jade can know" is almost immediately undermined in story, but whatever. This is secretly a Power Rangers fic and you can't just have the Pink and White Ranger.

Chapter Thirty-Eight: I really liked this fight sequence. Probably my favorite in the arc, since there are enough moving pieces to keep things interesting without large segments fading into the background for a while. Falling because must swiftly withdraw Swift is the epitome of a Jade strategy. Kabutops is tops tier. Made of knives. Of course it cuts deep. Curse tactics also good. Much better than Jade. Shame Stracion can't cut loose without letting people in on her secret. Wonder what the real Jade is up to.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Okay your art usually manages to make me forget that Moltres is just a rubber chicken with flames drawn on, but this particular image looks very much like that and I, for one, am grateful. Tyranitar's evo not mattering at all is lovely, although it does slightly undermine the build up of "no trainer gets a pseudo in their first year lol." Thought you were telling me the rules. And if you set up a rule and then break it, how are you any better than the Rockets? Come to think of it, you are the one putting your characters through hell... maybe you are the final enemy. The author. This story is just a longform explanation of why I should hate Chibi Pika, the author, not the pokemon, unless they are one and the same.

I need time to consider this.

Chapter Forty: I can't tell whether Stalker was actually smart or not here. Without advance warning, The Power Rangers never would have made it to Hoenn in time. And Stalker's whole plan, getting Rayquazza, relies on Rocket getting the orbs. The Power Rangers could have put a stop to this. Unless he somehow knew that they would fail and just weaken Silver, Ender, and Friend of Ender (Friender). Or weaken all of them but Silver, who Jade has reason to personally target and almost did. Honestly I'm not sure why he would have even wanted more people there since there was zero guarantee they took his side in the Rocket civil war. TBH this feels like a "they have to be there because that's where the story is" thing, and I'd rather the protagonists figured that out on their own or we at least got more explanation of how they were helping anything.

Chapter Forty-One: "[P]ower each other’s Lightning Rod and then go for Discharge" is top tier doubles strategy. Some of the best that I've ever read. The tyranitar and latias power combo was also great. Only bad part was Maxie losing. Maxie cannot lose. Is impossible. Also, Stracion's right: the tubes can't be filled with magma. It's called "lava" on the surface. Surprised that Maxie keeps the orb in his office. Seriously, the best place to hide those things isn't putting them in obvious but reasonably well-guarded locations: it's burying them deep somewhere in the mirage desert. No one is finding that again. Or just dumping the orb at the bottom of a random sea trench in some of the 7.8/10 of Hoenn. Either works and avoids a lot of problems.

Chapter Forty-Two: How dare you make me read Waterworld fan fiction? Mega camerupt fighting raikou was nice. One thing I didn't like is that the Mattnapping could have happened at the very start with no real change. Only didn't for The Sake Of Action and maybe to showcase that Ender isn't quite on top of his game yet. Astrid is still better evil boss.

Chapter Forty-Three: angery kekoa noises

Chapter Forty-Four and Forty-Five: Grouped together because I can't remember what happened in which.

Steven can totally fly on his metagross, right? Kind of wish you used him more. Maybe showcase Jade's relative strengths and weaknesses by contrast. Like, obviously the metagross is a lot stronger in a one-on-one fight than anything Jade has but Lugia. But also Steven probably wouldn't be well prepared for fights with guns and multiple foes teaming up on him. Maybe he doesn't know good protect strats or something. Has to learn a thing or two from Stracion.

Not sure why Primal Kyogre couldn't have taken down the airships. They can easily form a localized hurricane, right? Sure, the collateral isn't great, but neither is the rockets having a rayquazza. And Sootopolis has already been evacuated, right? Sure, I think Kekoa disagrees, but what does he know? And I guess that the power rangers being present did lead to Kyogre and Groudon staying free at the cost of Latias. That's a fair trade, right?

One more thing: Currently the big legends can't get anywhere near the Rockets because Master Ball Cannons. But those don't work on captured pokemon, right? So Jade could totally just put Lugia in a nest ball and then have Celebi send the ball to the distant future. Or something. Obviously I don't expect her to think of this, but maybe Ajia could. Sure, persuading them might be hard, but I'd think at least Mew and Latias might agree. Or more after Latias got captured and the limits of fighting away from airships was exposed.

Anyway, this has been The Correct Thoughts on the back third of LC. I am not accepting criticism at this time.
 

unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/she
Partners
  1. purrloin-salem
  2. sneasel-dusk
  3. luz-companion
  4. brisa-companion
  5. meowth-laura
  6. delphox-jesse
  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
Chapter 37
i love the art
Mew just looks so cute gesturing to latias
"Look at this thing"
"Isn't she great"
"if you will please look to my left, you will see a large bird."
"this is my friend, an adorable aircraft."
"may i present to you, a minor god you should never search for on google images"

Horrible cursed thought: AU where Jade declined the offer to become Chosen and was killed
And everything that would lead to
Especially for poor Starr
Who would probably not even learn the truth
And instead of this chapter, she'd just be wondering where Jade is...

Firestorm is a sweetheart

Love the "psychic" link's introduction. Lugia is so precious about it. Very excited to see where that goes.

This chapter's prose is a sharp jump in quality I'm noticing. Sorry I don't have the brain to quote examples of why and how, but the proficiency definitely went up at this point.

latias is adorable this chapter was so good and full of great character interactions
Chapter 38
Never made proper notes on this or the next chapter, but let's see...
Art is siiiiick as always.
I love Jade a lot. She's so good! You can do this, kid~
I had a looooot of moments I adored this chapter. It's a fantastic way to show how Jade has grown, while ramping up the TR threat, and having her get her ass kicked while still seeming really badass. It's genuinely intimidating as fuck when she takes on these new and worse threats! Great stuff.
I also love that even though they take a big win this chapter, it just makes the execs feel more threatening because they permanently leanr information whereas the recapture doesn't protect Moltres from eventual re-recapture.
Chapter 39
Honestly my main takeaway from this chapter was that Rudy is pretty fucking based for a kid so young and I was psyched to see him try taking on Moltres. His Choosing moment where he has his little trauma recap was intense and I fucking loved it. Moltres is kindof a dick, but in a fun way.
Chapter 40
Stalker is a prick to be honest! But I'm wondering if he has a reason for his prickery the way Ajia and Mew were forbidden from spilling certain beans... Also I love how much everyone hates him I bet he's incredibly sympathetic later.

Love how the fight being a distraction is super obvious in retrospect and how terrifying it is that only two execs were enough to nearly murder Jade and everyone on her team.

"Hello everyone. Nice job doing exactly what i wanted. I need Latios for my plans and you won't kill me because then you'll never find him. Lmfao guess what the point of the moltres fight was. Suckers."

Everyone is in their pyjamas. Latias calls him a bitch (not actually). The energy of this meeting is amazing.
He's now explaining that TR want to capture a higher legend, presumably the weather trio... I can't wait to discover his DEAL. Still wondering if he's a fucking pokémon tbh. This dick definitely knows which of them are Chosen.

"Stalker was fake it had only ever been Sebastian"
Fuckingggggg pretty sure Seb isn't his real name and that Seb is the fake self. (Oh, I was RIGHT, nice)
When he says he needs to appear loyal I think he's just honest.

"God, I'd turned into Ajia"
Lmfao. You're a secret-keeping chosen hero with a legendary buddy. Amazing.

People who say "i have business to attend to" and "the clock is ticking" are extremely punchable.

"Four hours" wow is it really so little? Mew chooses Ajia and literal years later Lugia and Moltres pick someone within four hours of each other. Makes sense, but it's wild information on its own.

I can buy that if any legendary wrote the prophecy that Mew is a top candidate. She obviously buys into the whole heroic deal a lot harder than the rest. First to choose a human, sad about war, tries to prevent collateral damage, seems to have a big heart but her first lines were "aw fuck, we're really doing this war shit? I am millennia old and very tired."

What if... Stalker's goal is to prevent human-legendary warfare by catching and sealing most or all legendaries? I mean. Stalker definitely believes his plans are Right. He just gives me the incredibly strong impression that he's learnt a lot of things, sat down and thought about it carefully, and concluded based on utilitarian metrics that whatever he's doing is Correct. Child soldiers suffering is obviously bad but it's so much less bad than legendary pokemon wiping humanity off the face of the planet. "If you have a choice between two futures, one in which innocents are saved that might otherwise suffer, you have a moral duty to choose that future! If you have to sacrifice your peace of mind and sense of purity to do it then so be it." (Oh, I did okay with this actually)

Ho-oh: "you want to help, don't you, Starr?"
Starr: "helping people is my LEAST favourite thing to do" :mad:

Hooray she GUESSED! Aaaaaaand she's going with them!
i love starr i love starr i love starr i love starr i love starr

Latias is a SWEETHEART. Also bless Jade for comforting the dragon aircraft demigod.

A meme for your enjoyment:
1610241290045.png

Bless Jet. She really thinks she gets to be a hero.

"I'd just failed at reading him again, that was fine."
Your flygon is a dick, Jade. Communication is the responsibility of both parties and you are not a mindreader!
Chapter 41
Yes it literally is magma in the tubes. Why is it magma? Maxie is one extra motherfucker and no other reason.

"I hated how quickly and naturally that assessment came to us."
:D :D :D you have become a child soldier, Jade, isn't that so cool and fun
now you have more in common with starr! you can bond over it
hey starr do you wanna talk about being in lethal firefights while underage???
no?
aw
having to kill people while underage is That, tho
did u know you can get trauma and be a victim when you're the one hurting and killing people
true fact

“We’re not going to lose anyone this time, are we?” the Houndoom asked, and my heart tore itself in half.
Promise the good pupper that she and her friends won't die in war. Go on. Look the pupper in the eye and lie to her.

Love that Magma behave differently to Rockets. Makes Rockets feel more dangerous by comparison.

Can't believe Nine flashed team Magma. That's illegal.

Oh man the world suddenly feels a lot bigger with Courtney present. It's got that crossover vibe now. So far the canon characters have been few and far between: basically Mewtwo, who's sort of transcanonical, and Gio, who is similar, and Gio only appeared for two minutes.

it was feeling a lot more like that night on Midnight—
FUCK this is gonna be HEAVY.

“The worst kind of dead.”
I enjoy Darren.

Latias is based. Courtney is weirdly based?

I heard the familiar sound of bullets striking Protect—dammit why was that so familiar—
I love and hate this. Poor Jade.

Fully expect Maxie to be getting his ass handed to him.

Tyranitar is awesome! She's referred to as a "dinosaur" which feels weird but like 'tars are very dinosaur. Tyrannitarrus rex.

Rudy: DO THE THING
Tabitha: :mad:

It was easy to forget that despite her timid, soft-spoken nature, she was still a Legendary Pokémon.
And legendaries are terrifying!! Love that recurring concept. I bet it ties into Rocket ideology.

(I’d never taught them how to do that!)
PROUD OF THEM.

I will not allow anyone else to repeat my mistakes.
How to get Jackie to love a character on their first line of dialogue~

That kabutops is the new "terrifying enemy pokémon" to replace Starr's raichu. I wondered if those execs would be here.

LATIAS IS IMPORTANT AND GOOD.

I enjoy Maxie being like "why is there a minor deity in my office," "and also all these teens,"

moltres how thE FUCK. oh right teleport from kazam. based kazam. kazam appreciation chapter

Very excited to see that mega stone in use!

This chapter was fucking awesome. Nice job, Chibi!
Chapter 42
SICK ART SICK ART SICK ART
I bet when jade challenges stalker about the use of entei in the magma base he'll just be like "i did say i have to seem loyal to the boss"
"It should have been angry. I was angry." Oh jade. She wants to feel bad about her failures
It sure SEEMS like the protag team should be well positioned to obliterate the airship
TR continue to prove extremely powerful
Able to operate well outside their own territory to take on multiple targets simultaneously
Maxie: why are you children here
the gang: oh lmao we forgot we're child soldiers
lmao "jet is like how we were oops"
constantly thinking about having to survive firefights. very normal for 12yos
how are you going to hurt the floatzel, chibi
how upset am i gonna be
Flashes of lightning, and I’d suddenly feel concrete on my skin and acid in my mouth when neither were really there. The heat of flames, and my ears would ring with gunshots and screaming kids. Catching a side glance of my best friend from just the wrong angle, and I’d feel a spike of adrenaline from nowhere and a fist locking around my collar and…
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
war is so cool, and so is doing cool war crimes

love this little moment with chibi (genuinely does my head in that i don't have a good way to distinguish i'm talking about the fic character lmfao) where he's like "oops i forgot it was weird to be grown in a lab"

"Also, Latias was there. This was no less weird than any of the other insane batshittery happening today"
Love lines like this.

Darren: "i have internalised that i am a child soldier"
Matt: "lmfao sounds fun"

loving the epic open water conflict

I was sick of facing down Legendaries.
don't worry Jade I'm sure this won't be a problem much longer. you only have a few left to rescue!

love that articuno is tactically unable to curbstomp. Makes them feel like an actual entity and not a villainous win button.

Archie is SO EXTRA
Sharpedo: More Sharpedo Form

man i was just thinking "oh wow there's a lot of teleporting, why would you ever travel normally when not transporting materiel" and then whoops I guess TR did that. genuine props for setting up the orb teleport
"oh yeah why travel when you can teleport"
"oh wait TR can do that too"

oh boy I Have A Feeling Kyogre Will Also Wake Up

EPIC POKéMON WARFARE. Genuinely epic but with none of the awkward contrivance standard to that concept.

"raw, heatless pain"
i like this description

the johto force! very exciting.
"oh, they have ALRs. but they need pokemon energy for that"
>they have pokemon energy for that

Camerupt: More Camerupt Form! Genuinely LOVE this faceoff it felt so insanely intense.
Chapter 43
latias is PRECIOUS
i love u latias 😭

“Is it bad that my first thought was why the Rockets didn’t just do that sooner?” she finally whispered, a bitter edge to her voice. “It’s what I would’ve done.”
I fought back a shudder. She didn’t want me to answer. I knew that much.

fucking shivers. love to see an incomplete redemption arc in progress. Starr's identifyin the damage in herself but can't do much about it yet except hate herself.

it had just become second nature to order Protect at a moment’s notice after all our time on that team. But he’d never learned it.
oh fuck. i was just thinking the last two chapters "man Protect sure is reliable!"
love when chibi makes a thing a Thing and then fucks with that thing
‘Use Protect, I don’t know that move, idiot.’”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. It was all too easy to see myself in his position

"i, too, am an idiot" - love that Jade is consistently moronic.

JET jackie screamed internally
a. hooray jet trauma
b. hooray jade you dumbass
c. love that she offers recall and jet takes the offer
d. jet didn't know protect chibi you FUCKER
1610241235456.png
Big fan of Jade's awful shame and guilt over Jet and her own negligence and lack of forethought!

ajia's zoroark is named 'Z', huh? can't believe she caught N. you think i don't see through that alias, chibi

surely the rockets are baiting Rayquaza (yup, not that it was hard to guess)

Starr and Ho-oh content makes me wonder... so when is ho-oh gonna Choose starr?~

Too many fights in too short a time.
This feels like an echo of a possible criticism but actually I just really enjoyed it.

“Care to explain?”
I rubbed the back of my head. “Not… really.”

lmfao
love starr like "ha. u shouldn't trust me. i'm rly evil"

“I’m sorry to hear that.”
how to make jackie love a character within a few dozen words of their arrival! It really says something that a guy like Steven is just instantly sympathetic to how badly these kids are fucked up by being involved.

Hoenn arc canon character opening lines that make Jackie love them:
Maxie: i am going through a redemption arc
Steven: i feel sorry for child soldiers
Archie: BEING A PIRATE IS FUCKING BASED

LEGENDS FIGHTIN'! It's a very cool scene but honestly what I like best is that Lugia definitely said fuck.

The humans performed a ritual to summon them from their throne in the heavens, and they returned the two to their prior sleep.
"wow, when did that happen? three thousand years ago?"
"like, last year"

Mew can use google maps!! I genuinely ADORE that Mew is not purely mystic, but able to benefit from a human with modern tech.

“WHY DOES HUMANITY NOT LEARN FROM ITS MISTAKES?”
how to make jackie love a noodle in their first line—

i love that the centrepiece conflict of LC is shaping up to be so large that the entire gen iii plot is a precursor to TR capturing rayquaza specifically to deal with Mewtwo. It... makes enough SENSE, you know? While also making the whole canon feel like a series of LC prequel, with LC books 2 and 3 being a kind of Avengers/Infinity War story.

anyway i finished 43 it was an extremely quaggable chapter
Chapter 44
starr: "i love my friend and i will kill a god if i have to"
mood, starr

oh god rayray is FUCKED. TR are so intimidating here. Wow. Huge Mewtwo Returns energy but worse.

is lexx.... hoping they'll beat him?
is lexx.... a microcosm of stalker?

I took a deep breath to steel myself. <I’ll do it, then.>
BASED
love her
also
i love the primal legendaries?
they're just....
so zen.
"what do you mean make choices. sounds hard. we just like hitting each other"
ultimate inner peace.

i'm fucking WHEEZING at lugia. "motherfucker fuck your DANCE i will slap the SHIT out of you"

this warfare is delicious. i've read pokemon warfare before and it's typically supremely un-based. this is based. mostly bc jade is not okay

Maybe the Rockets really would just destroy each other.
i can't believe the fic's nearly over :P
Chapter 45
ch45 has such incredible art wow. unreal

All the pain, all the failure, for nothing.
What a wonderful piece of angst.

1610241841470.png
love that kanto TR and johto TR are just openly fighting now
fighting stalker is such a good and intense moment
it's hard to trust stalker but. i have a feeling we'd all rather it be him in control of rayray than ender.
extremely delighted and upset at once at latias' capture
this is another good twist!!
1610242475285.png
I’d thought I was prepared for the idea of fighting Stalker. I was wrong.
jade you moron you weren't remotely prepared do you not remember how OP he is
on the other hand jade dropping onto lugia is cool
development from "wait shit what do" to "I NEED YOU TO DO THE THING"
i like that riding lugia is like. they're too big. this is a giant aircraft pkmn lol

love how competent the rockets are
protags basically never get one over the rockets bc the rockets fucked up
they're genuinely terrifying
wow Nine doesn't think much of lugia i guess

“You’re telling me you talked with those things?” he asked, gaping at me.
“They’re Pokémon,” I just said.

B A S E D J A D E
I love her for this bc it's totally in her wheelhouse and possible to pull off but it's absolutely something nobody else could do.

“No one’s allowed to die, got it?!”
absolutely certain we'll get major character deaths, going forward
i'll probably be pretty devastated whoever they are
please don't kill starr? :c

“Power like what the legends have can’t be allowed to run wild,”
HERE WE GO, CONFIRMATION THAT TR HAS AN IDEOLOGICAL AGENDA
i've been quietly mentally noting evidence of "new world order human supremacy agenda" since early on and i'm delighted

he was stalling
love that jade is logged in as the rocket understander

Was Ender insane? [...]—I recalled him in an instant.
not insane then! he knew that would work! he's such a credible badguy even though i can't imagine his appearance

<Use your psychic power to rip the airship open.>
jade is so incredibly fucking based this chapter. giving orders, taking risks, thinking fast!

Darren flashed a tired look my way, like he knew I was somehow responsible for this.
And she is! jade responsible this~

I wasn’t ready to think about something like that being my fault.
So when is jade gonna cause deaths? I'm pretty sure we aren't gonna get through the whole of LC without Jade killing someone, however indirectly.

loving all of this btw holy SHIT
also i have to say the scope screep of the hoenn arc feels very natural? well set-up.

No, I wasn’t going to let myself think about anything that he’d said. This whole mess was their fault.
THIS IS GONNA GO WRONG and legendaries are gonna cause so many problems

OH BOY
THIS IS SO INTENSE

at least they destroyed a couple airships!

man that went FUCKING TERRIBLY
and yet everyone fucking ruled and no deaths
a great and very chibicore way to have them fail
I'm proud of our protags
Chapter 46
So about that art
it sure looks like latios volunteered
i wondered this before actually... (and it turns out I was somewhat right! The guy is voluntarily working with Sebby!)

something like a 6-hour train ride.

weird to finally see the line after seeing it mentioned in the cord for months. I'm fond of it, trivial as it may be.

ajia is a mood. "it's bad for me to ask lots of others. but mandatory for me to give as much as possible."

Things would probably be different if I were friends with Lugia the way that Ajia and Mew were.
Bodily contortions at this line! I want her to be friends with Lugia so bad. I love that Ajia and Mew care about each other like that.

…Yeah. If I were in her situation, I’d almost certainly be feeling the same thing.
SO WHEN IS JADE GONNA PUT HERSELF AT RISK OR INCUR PERSONAL SACRIFICE FOR LUGIA'S SAKE

i love starr in this hotel scene
love her love her love her
weirdly delighted that they speak galarian in unova bc i have that wb detail too
also just
- i'm MAD at you guys for being in DANGER
- the future doesn't real
- PHYSICAL AFFECTION
Starr let out an exasperated sigh. “Jade, don’t be an idiot,” she said, tightening her arm around me. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I enjoy her SO MUCH

he’d done it purely out of spite,
but did he?? we're surely about to find out! i'm wondering if it was more like one of the following
- he needs to collect legends a lot more aggressively to make up for the kanto acquisition of ray
- he has decided to let latias in on details of his intentions and motivations to prevent future interference incidents
- with ray in kanto hands, legends like latias are in much graver danger than before
I MUST READ ON TO KNOW

loooooove that jade is pissed that she randomly feels chill
jade: STOP FEELING CALM
lugia: STOP FEELING ANGRY

mew lost a friend! That's breaking my heart.

I still didn’t have any clue why he’d done it. He kept talking like it was so important for us to stop the Rockets, and I refused to believe that it was all just an act. There was something missing there. And I knew I needed to forget about it, I knew, but…
I'M FUCKING FIZZING BRUH. I really need to know the answer!!

There’d be a psychic shield, like always. I didn’t feel like telling Lugia that, though.
a. it's not psychic~
b. ohohohoho jade
ANYWAY YEAH JADE GO CONFRONT HIM this will definitely not go wrong at all in any way
reminds me of ajia confronting starr in chapter... what, 24?

“You’re telling me to chill?” I said incredulously. “You’re like the least chill one on the team.”
Aros was silent for several seconds. “I’ve been trying to work on that,” he mumbled.
I froze. He sounded genuinely hurt. I’d crossed a line, hadn’t I?

i fucking love this! They're both getting development and it's kindof meta.

“You can’t just be you?” I said awkwardly.
He scoffed. “What good is that?”
“Good enough to me,” I murmured.
“Yeah, what’s that worth,”

MY HEART MY POOR HEART

“Don’t… don’t try to fix this. You’re always trying to fix everything,” Aros muttered.
this conversation is doing me in and making me love him a lot even though he's incredibly frustrating.

Now that the Kanto force knows we’re traitors
OH IT'S LIKE THAT HUH. Civil warfare time. Everything getting more complicated by the minute.

In a way, it was mildly satisfying that even Stalker’s superiors were frustrated with the way he just did whatever the hell he wanted without caring if it bothered anyone else.
Laughed at this.

also Lexx is a smug motherfucker and i would dearly love to smack him. riding around a sapient being you've mindcontrolled for "morale" reasons is borderline sociopathic

<Well, it’s helpful for us, isn’t it?> Lugia replied defensively. <Don’t dwell on it too much.>
lmfao they are so unhappy to be in the position of Not Knowing and I love that about them

I joined the team to get a Pokémon and a trainers’ license, that’s all.
he never lies. hm.
“I was only passing for thirteen. I wasn’t old enough to get a license, so I must have been eleven.”
“I suppose I am.”

i feel like
if i just think about it hard enough
maybe i can figure it out
i mean
fffffff
you ought to be cackling at my increasingly manic subdued laughter as i stress about Stalker's Deal

handed them a large group of interlopers on a silver platter.
>that moment when raiku called like a dozen rebels "interlopers" as a group
i KNEW that would matter!!
Anyway chibi this twist is brilliant
Surprising, but inevitable.
Perfect.
I probably could have figured it out if I'd put enough effort in but i made the right choice by just reading on
I was very close a couple times, talking about how sebby seemed to know that jade was chosen and quietly pleased
Also is sebby being like 16 fucking years old why the "man lures girl into forest" jokes are so bemusing
There are so many reasons i love this twist
It justifies so much shit so perfectly
Cause like
Nnnn
It works and it connects so many pieces and it's exactly what a twist should be in that it makes perfect sense and couldn't have been anything else and all the evidence was there but it's just so hard to see anyway and fuck!!!
I think I'd have guessed it if
A. I'd taken the time to review the last 8 eps thoroughly
B. I'd bothered to collect all the Evidence in one place
C. I'd read enough takes by other readers
Also jsyk when i said i thought stalker was genuinely Older
I didn't mean physically, necessarily
- homura style loops/timeline jumps
- possession/mindsoul fusion with an older entity
- psychic simulation hell

"Instructions"
Not sure if I'd explicitly phrased it that way but this is very much the relationship i expected stalker to have to the prophecy with the caveat i thought he may have written it

what is the revolution. Is it gio's plan to overthrow the gods.
Or is it something to do with mewtwo
(Actually it could be both. I'm primed to think of mewtwo as gio's weapon to kill or enslave gods.)
If the revolution is the same broad concept as DE Part 3 I'll lose my fucking mind

"Scared of lugia" i sometimes forget that jade is low grade terrified of her patron

YEAH LUGIA WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY IDEA. Seriously, I just want to know the circumstances of 3000 years ago and the prophecy and all that bullshit, oh my god. When will we learn the truth, Chibi?

I have a weird kind of tension/suspense about finding out whether Stalker is like. Sympathetic i guess
His mental prep to interact with latias and deciding how to manipulate her is not an automatic klaxon but it is a red flag
I've been expecting the holding cell scene since it was mentioned and it was pretty great!

CURSED TEXT!? What does this mean and does it have to do with existential threats to realities
The destruction of timelines is smth I've been worried about for ages
But only bc of clues you've given me from outside the fic
So it didn't feel like my own guesswork
I guess the orange morality we have to care about is that infinite timeliness less infinite timelines equals infinite timelines but they're the wrong kind of infinite timelines

Infinity has no end.
Stalker has a connection with or is a member of the creation trio, and obviously the likely key candidate is dialga
Anyway 46 was really really good
And if this was an anime the unexpected switch to a new pov would be unreal levels of hype lol
Fave theory rn is that sebastian shepard was a boy affected by the 'revolution' who interacted with dialga in some way to facilitate a different kind of infinite timelines to ensure some of them were Correct
Stalker is the consequent identity
"i guess i must have been eleven" immediately stood out as the kind of shit a homura entity would say
Chapter 47
Ooh, Sebby isn't even his real name. I was right. Does his old one matter? Probably not.
My brain diagnosed Sebby's charmander with trans and apparently I'm correct. Nice. Love that.

also i meant to say just bc stalker may be undergoing homuraloops doesn't mean he knows he is at least at first
just getting ahead of that possibility

officer at 13, huh? this is so entertaining. he's such a different kind of deceptive bastard.

“All Pokémon exist for the glory of Team Rocket,”
ah. i dropped this line by way of Katsura in the DE prologue. isn't it delicious? It's just on the edge of being silly.

that mess that had to get covered up eighteen years ago.
i feel like i'm supposed to know this. but i don't.

the glint of red along the edge of Silvan’s wrist blades.
hunting, or murder? I wouldn't put it past Stalker to have his team assassinate people.


the author wasn’t human
yeah now i know sebastian didn't author it himself, it probably WAS a legendary.
"instructions" is fascinating. it's kindof a pact i guess? What a great concept.

....i only just noticed that sebby is written in 3rd person
like
not noticed
just like
registered
just got to the end of the bit where he's like "yeah i'm gonna set up everything and then make the best of the failure!"
it was a good call to use 3rd
part of the reason i only just registered is it's very close, overtheshoulder 3rd
which is the good kind of third tbh

Lexx's POV is good fun. Weird to have him so suddenly as well, but worthwhile.

"our new commander"
Read this in the voice of alan rickman as snape.

Oh man what IS THIS it sure feels like a precognition of distortion world shit or a memory of a PREVIOUS LOOP or SOMETHING.

"Bringing some comfort to his friend was a benefit as well"
Aw. I wonder what their friendship is actually LIKE but this is at least a little sweet. Kinda parsing that as pure calculus on his part tho
"It's okay, Latias, I forgive you for ruining my plan to capture the sky god."
Latias: oh no am i the real baddie :c
Poor Latias.

Naturally I loved this. So.
WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER, MOTHERFUCKER :quag:
 
Last edited:

Dragonfree

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My breathing was shallow and my heart was pounding. I couldn’t move; I was frozen on the spot, barely able to think.

Lugia called me here to kill me. That was the only thought my brain felt like generating, and it repeated it over and over again until I felt like I was going to be sick. The Legendary dragon-bird slowly emerged from the pool in front of me, trails of water streaming down silver feathers, eyes glowing blue with psychic energy. I’d seen it countless times in my nightmares, but here it was, in front of me, for real.

I clenched my fists, swallowing hard. This was just like last time. Not like the Rocket conflicts, not a struggle for survival. There was nothing I could do. Nowhere to run, no way to fight back. Helpless. I might as well have already been dead.

But somewhere deep within the spiraling vortex of fear and panic, there was a tiny voice arguing that this didn’t make any sense. Why now? Why after so long? Why had Lugia let me live in the first place? Why was Mew in on this? Too many questions, my head was going to burst.
The opening here strikes me as a little long for a "frozen on the spot, barely able to think" moment - it kinda feels like Jade does get a lot of fairly calm-sounding, rational thinking in here, to a point where I start wondering why she isn't at least trying to run/hide/draw a Pokéball/something yet.

I bristled. Had to do something, anything. I clutched at a Pokéball and held it up, my arm shaking. I’d battle. Yeah, that was it. We’d battle, and we’d… well we wouldn’t win, but we’d find some kind of opening that would let us escape. Any way out. We had to. The vaguest notion of how unrealistic this plan was prodded at the back of my mind, but I didn’t care.

Lugia’s eyes narrowed. <A battle. You want to battle. That’s… amusing.>

My fingers gripped the ball so tightly I could feel my pulse through them.
I do like this a lot when it happens, though! Feeling her pulse through her fingers is a nice visceral detail.

A surge of anger shot through me, shoving the terror aside. “Stop toying with me! You called me down here in order to get revenge, right? Are you gonna taunt me some more or just kill me outright since it didn’t work last time?”
Jade's line here strikes me as a little awkward, kind of long and wordy for something said in a momentary surge of anger. Obviously you're trying to set up Lugia's next line (which I love, for the menace of it and how absurd it makes the idea sound), for which Jade needs to imply specifically that she thinks Lugia failed to kill her last time, which is a bit fiddly to get across clearly - just "Are you gonna kill me or not?" wouldn't work, and even the alternatives I thought of like "Are you going to finish the job and kill me or not?" doesn't necessarily imply Lugia previously tried to go for the kill, only that it had meant to eventually. So it's a bit of a tough nut to crack, but at the very least I don't think you need "You called me down here in order to get revenge, right?", and I feel sure that there must be a more natural way to say it.

“I know that!” I exclaimed, a wave of heated frustration washing over me. “And after today, what does it matter?!” It was like talking to someone who had a knife to my throat. I was trembling, muscles shaking no matter how hard I told them to stop. No matter how badly I wanted to appear unmoved by my total lack of control over the situation.
I feel like the last sentence here is a bit redundant - we can surmise, I think, that the reason she's trying to stop her muscles shaking is she wishes she could appear unmoved, without it being stated outright.

I stared, still trying to work through the conversation taking such a bizarre turn. “What, the thing about seven Legendaries making an alliance with humanity? Don’t tell me you’re one of them?”

Eyes narrowed, Lugia replied, <And what if I am? Is that so hard to believe?>

I paused. My mind pulled up the image of the silver bird soaring high over Viridian City, firing off brilliant orange beams that tore through whole city blocks at once. That wasn’t the image of a guardian who’d been tasked with keeping balance in the world. But I didn’t exactly feel comfortable saying that.

“No… I guess not.”

At my words, Lugia gave a sort of self-satisfied nod.
Love the disparity between what Jade is thinking and Lugia's reaction.

<Good. Now pay attention. The conflict between human and Legendary has been steadily worsening the past few years, and it is likely to reach all-out war by summer’s end. There are those on either side who have dedicated themselves to preserving the balance. But that alone is not enough. Two sides working separately toward the same goal are unlikely to succeed. But together… they might have a chance.>
This is interesting phrasing, implying the chosen must have dedicated themselves to preserving the balance, which is not really what Jade has been doing exactly, is it. She took part in fighting Team Rocket, but she sure wasn't working to preserve any kind of balance.

In particular, balance means an intermediate state, and preserving balance doesn't really imply "just stop Team Rocket", now, does it; it also means if the legendaries overstep their boundaries they should be dedicated to stopping that, too. I'm not 100% sure what this means for the fic yet but it's something I'm thinking about.

<No. I do not trust human organizations.> My face fell immediately. Lugia continued, <The potential for conflicts and schisms and betrayal is too high. It was already disastrous for one of our number who rushed in too soon after several humans betrayed the Rockets two years ago. Some of our order—like Mew—are willing to take that risk. I am not.>

What was it talking about? One of the Legendaries had tried to ally with a human before Mew? And it had backfired?
Latios?

I stared at the silver Legendary in wide-eyed horror, unwilling to believe it. It couldn’t be possible. It couldn’t be…
Kind of feel like this'd be stronger without "It couldn't be possible. It couldn't be."

“So… so you’re saying…” I swallowed hard and continued, “that I’m chosen? Even after what I did?”

<Perhaps moreso because of what you did, among other things. You have connected yourself with the legends as few others of that rebellion have,> the dragon-bird answered.

Lugia closed its eyes in frustration and said, <Let me explain this as simply as I can. You are an interloper. You have no inherent significance in the legends, but your interference in the conflict between human and Legendary has forced you to become a part of them. The seven patrons of the Order are obligated to seek out those interlopers deemed to have the strongest connection to both the conflict, to the other interlopers, and to themselves.”
Used a regular end quote there in the second quote instead of an angle bracket.

More interesting phrasing to analyze! Obligated to seek out those interlopers deemed to have the strongest connection to both the conflict, to the other interlopers, and to themselves. And among other things and You have connected yourself with the legends as few others of that rebellion have. That has got to be referring to Jade picking up the Griseous Orb, right? I can't think of what else Jade in particular has done that connects her with the legends, besides that and trying to capture Lugia. That, perhaps, is what gives her the strongest connection to the conflict?

For the moment I suspect the "to the other interlopers" requirement is there to justify why the chosen are going to end up being a bunch of the same friend group more than anything else, but it could totally also be significant. And to themselves is fascinating! Is Jade particularly connected to herself? What does that mean? It could be filler to make it sound better, but I'm really intrigued by the possibility it's not.

“Of course I don’t want to do that! I just… I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Ever since the rebellion ended, I feel like I kind of… broke something. Like I couldn’t fight them anymore, even if I wanted to.” I stared at the floor miserably, my face burning. There, I’d said it. I couldn’t tell Ajia, but I’d told a freaking Legendary that had tortured me.
Poor traumatized Jade just wants to be a goddamn Pokémon trainer.

Lugia let out what almost sounded like a growl. <I do not wish to go against the instructions given to the Order so long ago. Neither of our sides can prevail without the other. That much is obvious, from what we’ve seen of the conflict thus far.> It winced slightly, as though the admission was painful. <In particular, Mew seems to believe we will fail if we do not embrace our human allies. And of course, the humans will fail without our strength.>
Mew believes they will fail if they don't embrace their human allies, huh? :copyka:

A blindingly bright flash of light shattered my field of view as a wave of psychic energy shot through my entire being. I was ripped apart, flipped inside-out, put back together, and then shredded once more, over and over into infinity.
I N F I N I T Y H A S N O E N D

(but seriously, though, I refuse to believe you would use the word infinity without it meaning something)

Enjoy that whole paragraph; I think you do a good job with the weird, agonizing sensations of it.

No. No, I’d already had to endure all of that. I had already survived all of that! Not again! I wasn’t going to run away anymore!
The way I remembered this moment was a really triumphant epiphany of realizing all this had already happened and she'd survived it, as a realization of her own existing strength and resilience, but rereading it it feels kind of ambiguous whether it's getting at that or just Jade being determined not to let it happen again. I really liked my original interpretation, but I guess that's not necessarily what you were going for? Might be worth clarifying somehow.

And then my senses snapped back into focus in an instant. I was standing in the cave once more—no, kneeling—Lugia’s face still directly in front of me, still wearing that expression of pure calm that had dragged me free of the nightmare. I was holding tightly to its eye crests, almost hanging from them at this point. The legend didn’t seem to mind.
Such a delightfully comedic little moment. From Lugia's point of view I wonder if Jade was just babblingly climbing its face.

Lugia hesitated. <It’s been described as our fates being intertwined. Obviously it’s something more real than that, but I don’t know what the actual process physically entails.> The last bit sounded uncomfortable to admit.
This is definitely significant.

<Condition. Energy. The state of your mind. For example, if you die, I’d be able to sense it from not feeling your presence.>
calling it Lugia dies and this is how Jade realizes

Lugia’s expression sharpened as it pondered what to say next, tail swishing back and forth. <Be extremely careful who you tell of this—you cannot know who to trust unless they themselves have sworn a pact as well. Even your fellow rebels could be targeted by the enemy in the hopes of getting to you.>
Could just be a general "why Jade has to keep a secret" thing, but it would also be delicious foreshadowing if this actually happens in some form.

Lugia turned away, as though it had been hoping I wouldn’t ask. <Mew was… concerned for you. You had far too much knowledge of the legends and the patrons for someone who I didn’t think could be chosen, not to mention you were closely acquainted with Rockets who have captured some of our kin. I was certain I’d have to kill you for these things, as well as for that capture last year, but Mew was the one who suggested that I might reasonably be able to choose you instead.>

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Lugia had looked genuinely upset about it too.
Wait, when did Lugia look upset? If it looks upset now explaining this, that should just be "Lugia looked genuinely upset". This implies Lugia looked genuinely upset when it tortured her, which I really don't think was the case.

I shivered. Well that wasn’t a pleasant thought. But it was over and done with now. No point dwelling on what could have been.
Some part of me is convinced there are alternate timeline shenanigans where Jade doesn't get chosen, and Mew knows this and that's why she persuaded Lugia to choose Jade.

“Why?” I found myself asking. Why did a Legendary Pokémon care about the wellbeing of a single human? This was still so weird.

<Why?> Mew repeated blankly. <You are one of my chosen’s closest friends. I couldn’t bear to hurt her.>

Oh. Right. Yes, that made sense. Why was I reading more into it than that?
Oh yeah, this is so goddamn foreshadowy. Do we have a Madoka situation on our hands, is Mew a Homura trying to create a timeline where Jade gets chosen.

<We’re not sure why,> Mew said simply. Lugia narrowed its eyes slightly, but didn’t comment. I wasn’t really sure how it was possible for them to not know. After all, weren’t they all pretty open with each other about this stuff? At least, it had seemed like it.
Does Lugia know. Is this Lugia going "why are you lying about this".

“So… which of them have already chosen a human?” I asked.

Lugia made a slight huff that I took as a sign of disapproval. <Out of respect to them, I will refrain from answering.>

I frowned. Okay, I hadn’t realized that was an invasive question. Except… the moment I gave it even a second thought, the answer became obvious: Ajia had already told me she was the only one.

Mew had clearly pieced that together. <She already knows.>

Lugia glanced away, looking mildly annoyed. <Alright, fine. Mew and I are the only ones, yes.>
This bit of Lugia not wanting to reveal this thing that Jade already knows for the space of just a few paragraphs feels so pointless I'm convinced it has to be significant somehow. The most obvious thing it could be about, characterizing Lugia, seems kind of off - I'm not sure at all what about Lugia's character I should be taking away from this. So what if there's plot significance, what if Mew is lying about this too to everyone and Lugia knows but Mew's just convinced it that it's REALLY important its lies not be contradicted

<Underneath the Whirl Islands, in Johto,> Lugia said, gazing upward with an odd sort of fondness in its eyes. <It’s one of many places that I call home.>
very TQftL Mewcore

The weight of it all was starting to press down on me from all sides. A pressure building in my head suddenly flared up, and I couldn’t help rubbing my eyes in an attempt to relieve it.
This also feels like it's something.

Wow, I feel like I went really wild with speculation here. It was a lot of fun to reread this chapter; I didn't remember half of the interesting stuff I'm commenting on, instead mostly recalling the actual choosing.

I still love the concept of people being chosen by legendaries because they did things that made them want to select them. It seems so mundane and obvious now and didn't exactly stick out on the reread but it's obviously hugely important and central to the story's themes.

It's a bit expositiony, perhaps, but that's probably somewhat inevitable here, when laying out some of the cards for what's coming. Not all that much is revealed, though - the main new things we learn (explicitly) are more or less 1) how the chosen are chosen, and 2) who the relevant legendaries are - not all that informative. Those legendaries sure are secretive, aren't they?

Still hoping to keep returning every now and then to review the chapters I missed! Now go write chapter 48. :P
 

Flyg0n

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Well, time to give a broad review of Book 1. Especially chapters 26-31

Not gonna lie, it was a crazy ride. There were some plot choices you know I had some doubts

In that moment, it was easy to pretend that everything was alright.
I really liked this line. I think it sums up a lot of feelings throughout the whole of everything that happened. Jade is trying very hard to make everything ok, even though its not. To just TRY to pretend. She can have a normal life, right?

*looks at word count*

*sees there's still too many words left*

Oh.

Any hoo was it an insane ride. I don't think all my topics feelings or thoughts will be said here since some of my memory of book 1 is foggy and my memory sucks so no line by lines this time, just rambles and thoughts, connected to my prior observations.

Alright first up, plot. Man what an insane trip. From finding out the truth about Lugia Stalker, to the legendaries attacking, to everything else. I'm curious to see more of what Stalker means. Is he only capturing the legends to use or to make sure they can't get captured but keep them free?

Also I have to partially rescind my statements regarding Starr and Aija and that whole situation. First up, Jade forgiving her was more character based. She's clearly very eager to just put everything behind her. Second, it wasn't narratively glazed over. There's still a bit of tension, and callbacks to what happened. I did like this. Plus I always forget ye know, Jade is a kid. And so is Starr and Aija. So far, I think you did ok in that respect. I do hope we continue to acknowledge and develop the relationship between them, and seeing how Jade and Starr both come to proper terms with the things that happened and what Starr did.

On that note, Team Rocket. I feel a little confused. Maybe its just me but the way Team Rocket is talked about feels like... they're just a naughty corporation? Instead of an incredibly powerful force of pure evil and corruption that is wicked. Like I think I alluded to in a previous review, Team Rocket is almost treated like the 'opposite team' but they're doing HORRIBLE THINGS! They need to be wiped out. But hey maybe I'm just not reading into it enough or paying much attention.

After all, Jade is just a kid. Everything is filtered through her so I guess I can't expect too much.

Second, WOW. That legendary attack on Viridian was INSANE!! Fast action, so many crazy in sane things. The action was very nice, snappy stuff, and immersive. Jade's first person POV highlights how terrifying and confusing everything is. I enjoyed watching Jade growing into someone fearful and letting everyone else handle things to deciding to take action for herself.

The choice to try and catch Lugia was pretty dang nuts. Personally, I think she was right. If you catch them and hide the pokeballs, doesn't that make them safer? It's not like Jade is gonna use Lugia to take over the government, like Stalker seems to want to do. But hey, I know the story will come back to this so.

Aija having mew is certainly something that's really huge. Like whoa. I'm also surprised Jade didn't realize or think she might be chosen? She did read the thing about how no one can pick up that weird orb but then she does. I made that connection instantly. But hey, jade is a crazy traumatized 15 year old kid. I can't expect too much.

I do wonder what the heck that orb really is though. And how this will all come together as far as Jade and others being chosen, legendaries fighting, and this whole thing.

The crisis evolution for Charmeleon was really something. I am a huge giant sucker for crisis evolutions but this spin on it was unexpected. What a scary experience to see. But honestly I have little pity for Team Rocket. Shouldn't done that if you didn't want to reap the consequences, huh??? HUH??? Anyway I still feel real bad for him. Poor guy, just wanted to protect his trainer and dealt with that insecurity.

Also hooray for Swift! Swift is absolutely my favorite character, to be honest. So calm, so smart, so supportive. I am rather concerned for him though. Is he ok? Is he dealing with all this ok? I hope so.

Also big surprises for getting a Buizel. But man, I just realized Jade never caught an honest pokemon in her life, the old fashioned way lol. She got all of them through being given, trades or tripping over them lol. Rescuing. Not a negative, just amusing.

I was hoping to see more of Jade wondering about her parents though? I was really confused that when she saw Viridian burning she didn't even once think about her parents or her home. In fact, she hasn't ever, which is strange. Will this be addressed at some point? Is her mom alive??? IS HER MOM SECRETLY HO-OH?

Anyways, I really liked the end of book 1 and the beginning of her chill arc. It's really great to get some downtime just relaxing and doing normal trainer stuff. Traveling, getting gym badges, battling and training. Very needed break from the whole madness fest of legends going on.

On that note, legendaries as non-purely benevolent deities is certainly unusual and not always my style, but works so GOOD for this story. It's really interesting to see the different takes on legendaries and how they'll intercede for or against humanity. But all F for Ho-Oh being a bad boy wow. I WANT MORE HO OH!!!!

Aros as you know, is my standout favorite here. He pretends to be such a grumpy boy. But we all know how much he really cares! I really am delighted about Aros. When I first was reading this story I actually thought Aros would be there briefly and disappear but huh. HE STAY!!!

I think that covers the bulk of my thoughts! I really enjoy everything but my really big concern is that despite everything that happened at Viridian we really never got any kind of thing about Jade's parents. Not even a line about 'My mom- no, I couldn't think about that'. Anyways...

To cap, I think its rather interesting how common it is for kids to fight team rocket. Like Aija doing her thing. It feels like something you would actually expect to see in a world like pokemon, where kids get to leave the house pretty young to travel. I would expect them to be pretty gung ho on everything. That said I am intrigued by the ways you see to be deconstructing and re-examining these things like fighting legendaries and getting involved in world saving and being chosen and dealing with trauma and- *takes deep breath* whew. Anyways.

This is good story. I like many things so far. I wish we could have more journey stuff but I know it will end soon... oh well.
 

Flyg0n

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Alright, gonna review 33, 34, 35!

You're fairly far in the story and your writing and everything is honestly solid, so I probably won't give any hardcore critique, but rather my thoughts on the events of each chapter and how they were compiled.

33:
I really enjoy the way you write your fight scenes! The opening on this one, Jade watching Rudy's fight, was really enjoyable. I found the action well-paced and clear. The fight was easy to follow and I appreciated the strategic applications. Also hooray for Breloom! One thing did briefly confuse me in the battle. Breloom used a substitute and Scizor starts hitting the substitute. I wonder how exactly the substitute logic works. Does it draw in enemy attacks? Based on the description, I got the impression that Breloom was standing a short distance behind its own substitute, but on a wide, clear rectangle battlefield, what actively prevents Scizor from moving around the Substitute to hit Breloom?

Granted, I am all here for videogame stuff in fics, and fully approve. I just am curious. Does the move itself draw attacks, did it fool Scizor, or is the pokemon not legally allowed to attack until it breaks the substitute.

Moving on... What the heck? Starr has a brother too? I have to say, I was not expecting that. I don't trust him, frankly, at all. Also I'm surprised Starr didn't mention him but it feels sudden but also oof. How many stinkin kids does Gio have?Anyways cagey characters holding secrets, playing games... If I ever met Lexx I'd wring his neck. Also is Gio obsessed with names that end in two consonants?
otherwise the chapter was fairly short, but pleasingly so. It didn't feel like it dragged unnecessarily. It established the necessary elements, examined Jade's internal conflict a bit, then led into the next chapter...

aka the greatest chapter ever!

Triple Threat!!! *air horn noises*

That chapter was one wwillding ride. Just the insane dialogue and ever escalating craziness. NINE LUGIAS. TOO COOL. And it made so little sense yet made perfect sense. Along with that ending. Dialga and Palkia are so smug. Such characters. A truly enjoyable chapter.


34:
Very disappointing. Not enough Lugia. Where's Tri Lugia? 0/10, would not read.

This was a very good chapter. I've always enjoyed your action chapters, they're very well paced, clear and generally quite enjoyable. This one is no different. Seeing Jade's reaction to being sucked into all this again, her trauma reemerging again. I thought that scene was very well-written, I felt like the whole section drew me in. Had a good scare for a second when I thought Rudy died. PHEW.

And then these strange new rockets. Ugh. Ender and Raven or whatever. Trying to be edgelords huh?? I guess Ender must be controlling Moltres somehow. I'm surprised I guess that it'd be easy to turn people against legends but then again... who would assume you could mind control a legend? I guess it's not a bad plan.

Also poor Aros! Seriously, why does EVERYONE have ice beam? Can you give my Flygon a break?

Got very scared there for a second when he was iced, thought... idk, thought he'd die. Yike. I wonder if he had a vendetta against that particular Flygon? He didn't listen to Jade much. Granted, he's Aros but still. The way he acted makes me very curious if there's more going on.

The whole chapter was a roller coaster, in a good way. Jade had quite a few near death experiences and once again, it is proved that Swift is best bird, very best bird. Honestly Swift is my favorite character ever. I'm happy to see the Pidgeot line done justice. Certain other fics unfortunately have them just... weak. Anyways! I enjoy Swift's calm reliability, he's the most sane member of the team.

I want to love and protect him forever.

All that crazy midair recalling and sending out was nuts, as well as 'MEGAVOLT' which was edgy but entertainingly so.

This whole thing is unraveling quick tho, and poor Jade... just how many times is she gonna nearly die? At this point though, I've accepted obviously Jade won't die. The real value of the cliffhanger is the how and why and the torment it puts Jade through.

I don't have much else to say for this chapter. Good!

35:
I appreciate that after that madness at the tournament we got to slip into another slower chapter. After all those super fast paced chapters pre-league I don't know how much my poor heart could take! Or Jade's, frankly.

Anways. Lots of Starr being Starr, and Aija being Aija. That girl never slows down, huh?

A lot of plot reveals were made here, from realizing Aija is forced to keep secrets as Mew's chosen, Jade grappling with the tug of war between her two friends. The situation is very precarious. Aija, who probably knows (and I can guess even without reading 36) that Jade is chosen and Lugia's hero. And Starr, who just wants to get away.

I'm not huge on Starr still but I think my blacklight knowledge of her is rubbing off. Still, even trying to ignore that, I think she's developing well. Assuming she'll actually get to be around awhile I can see a lot of potential in store there.

I appreciated Jadegetting some backbone when she spoke to Aija. Telling Aija like. "look you can't just drag people around like this and assume they'll join your crusades. Explaining half of it and doing nothing." It was kind of satisfying cause Aija's a nice character and all but I doubt I could ever be her friend. She'd drive me nuts. Anyways I enjoyed that interaction and the apparent 'reveal' too that Mew and Aija talk telepathically. Of course.

Something that really caught me here though is Mew's conversation with Jade. Mew said it wasn't about the fate of the world but about Jade's fate. That makes me inumerably curious. Beause usually you see them be like 'Oh, the fate of the world rests on you'. For some reason. But this is an interesting spin because it makes me think that it has a lot more to do with Jade personally. Which I vibe with this concept heavy. I can't wait to read 36 now, see what the HECK is going on!

Overally, Fantastic four (three) chapters. I really enjoyed everything and I think maybe this was my favorite set of chapters yet, lengthwise and pacing wise. I've never been one for very long chapters (brevity is the soul of wit) so I appreciate that these felt fairly short.

I'd say at least a wholesale 8/10!
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
Time to address the finality! The turning point if you will, chapter 36.

I've got to say, this was thoroughly enjoyable to finally have answers revealed. Interestingly enough though, nothing here really surprised me. But this isn't bad. I feel like the details revealed here feel like a natural confirmation of all the foreshadowing up until this point.

The location, the characters, all the plot events, even which legendaries featured heavily. And perhaps I overheard stuff on the discord, can't recall. But as far as I can construe from evidence in this fic alone, it feels like a well earned and reasonable reveal that was built up to.

A lot of clarification were given on things I suspected (obviously I was right about Jade/Lugia) and some semantics.

I also really feel like Jade is experiencing some juicy growth. Finally backboning up, making her own choices, and doing what she believes in.
“I… I didn’t think—” I started.

<That much is evident,> Lugia cut me off.
HAH! I love how much personality you give the legendaries. Lugia is such a salty sass boi. Wonder if it has to do with hanging in the ocean all the time. Giving legends such attitude works exceedingly well in a fic like this.
My fingers gripped the ball so tightly I could feel my pulse through them.
This is the one part that vaguely confused me. Whose pokeball is she holding? She gave most of them to healing center at the Ranger outpost, right? I don't think she got them back either.

I assume maybe she still has Stygian and Charizard? Anyways, either way I was curious which pokemon she was planning to send out. I feel like it would be a nice detail to mention.
With a scoff, Lugia said, <I’ve never put much stock in ‘destiny.’ Fate is nothing; action is everything. Your friend took action toward protecting the balance, and Mew selected her as a result. It’s as simple as that.>

I sighed, running a hand down my face. Alright, it clearly didn’t intend to explain anything more than the bare minimum. And I had to stop thinking about the legend like a prophecy, because it obviously wasn’t. So… seven individual humans would get chosen because they had protected the Legendaries. And none of them were predestined. And it was based solely on their actions.
Confirmed! I really like this take on destiny/fate. I am playing with that concept in my own original novel, how you're not chosen but your actions define your role that you play. It's a very awesome take on the prophecy that nobody was picked but everyone was given the choice, and the only effect is whether you chose this life or not. This is a solid subversion on the chosen one trope and one I had long hoped you would do.

From the moment I discovered this was a 'chosen one' fic my mind started spinning and thinking this is a good alternative. Same brain!
“So… so you’re saying…” I swallowed hard and continued, “that I’m chosen? Even after what I did?”
This lines up exceedingly well and everything comes together here, even the knowledge of Mew sparing Jade.
I took a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll do it.”
Hooray for growing a spine! I'm proud of Jade here. Heck, she didn't even take as long to decide as I thought she might.
Growth!
Ho-oh, Raikou, Suicune, Zapdos, and Moltres.>
Ah HAH! Calling it! Starr/Ho-Oh?
Although Starr/Suicune would be wild. Idk. Starr someone. Although I'm not sure any legend would want to choose her... unless Moltres?

I really hope she's chosen, it would be an interesting direction for her character. Although if she's not, I'm almost worried for her. She's probably feel very uh. Left out. Hm. Guess We'll see?

Anyways my old theory still stands, Jade is going to meet Ho-Oh and find out her mom is Ho-Oh.

And then Mew vanished, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts and the overwhelming feeling that my life was never going to be the same again.
Yeah that's the mild way of putting it Jade.

Lovely chapter, well built up to! 9/10 on its own!
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
Forgive my somewhat disjointed thoughts. Anyways you pace this story really nicely, lulls between fights, cool down just enough before revving up.
For something intending to be a fast-paced actionfic you do a superb job with everything IMO.

Onto more solid thoughts. Another good chapter, a very important one to set up the aftermath of Jade's decision. Telling Aija, telling her team, dealing with Starr... I appreciate everything, glad we didn't just jump to 'mor fight!'

Mostly gonna provide temp reads and observations/reactions cause... I feel like there are not enough flaws for me to identify pick at. You're doing a good job.

“*Mine as well,*” Swift said, fixing me with a soft, reassuring look.
Swift is the greatest bird, once again. So calm, chill, takes things in stride. Delightfully sensible and composed. This fic NEEDS him and if you hurt him at all I will END you.
I sighed. “No. But it doesn’t have to define who you are. And the fact that it’s affecting you like this… I don’t know, doesn’t that prove that you won’t turn into that so easily?”

Firestorm rested his claws on his belly, nodding softly with a contemplative look.

I shuffled a foot against the dirt. “If you’re scared, I don’t have to send you out when we—”

“*No, that won’t help,*” he cut in, shaking his head vigorously. “*I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding from it. And… this is important. We’re all on the same team, yeah?*”

All of us were a team. And that meant doing anything we could to support each other. I took a few slow steps forward and rested a hand on the Charizard’s shoulder.

“Hey. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll help you through this.”

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. “*I’m supposed to be the one to help you.*”

I smirked. “Hey. None of that.”

Firestorm chuckled. “*Hah… sorry…*” He shook his head and then straightened himself upright,

“Ready to go?” I asked, holding out a fist.

His gaze sharpened, some of the fire back in his eyes. “*Yeah.*” he said, tapping his own fist against mine.
In an earlier review, I criticized the use of pokespeech a bit, saying how I wasn't fully convinced it added enough to the story for me.
I recant. In your specific iteration of the Pokemon World, and how you set up your plot, it does enhance the world. It enhances the pokemon as characters and within the constraints of your world, adds a lot to their development as characters.

Firestorm, for example, is great here. You really get to appreciate his specific feelings and views on everything going on. The speech here is used to good effect.

So... good job!!

“*What’s it to you?*” Aros asked, still not facing any of us.

“*If we’re fighting side-by-side, that means we’re relying on you to support the team,*” Chibi pointed out sharply, glaring at the Flygon.
I love that Chibi is the one to interject here. Excellent. It feels so appealing, rather than having Jade try and explain this. Good dynamic.
“*His original,*” the Absol repeated with deliberate emphasis, like I’d somehow misheard her as opposed to just not knowing what that was supposed to mean.

I stared blankly at her. His original what? She still wasn’t saying what—hang on. ‘Original’ wasn’t marked as a descriptor in her words—it was an object. His original.

“That’s the Flygon he was cloned from?” I asked, gaping at her.
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!! Called it, something obv up, I suspected this might be it.
Lugia paused, its mind dancing around the subject. <So… what I’m saying is good luck. I would hate to have to select a new chosen so soon after finding one.>

My stomach curled in on itself. That wasn’t exactly something I wanted to think about.

Lugia’s mind flushed with awkwardness. <That was… a joke. I will see you when this is done.>
yeah Lugia, great joke. Lol. (No Lugia, pleaseee get better jokes)

And then… then there was something there. Like a thought that was just out of reach, hovering on the tip of my tongue but stuck in my subconscious. My mind kept slipping past it, but I willed it in that direction, grabbing at it like a faded memory.

<Lugia?>

<There we go. Loud and clear.>
I really really liked this scene! I thought it was really well done, capturing the essence of establishing that mental link, the initial confusion betweenJade's thought and Lugia's thoughts blending together...

Good use of 1st person too, This story really IS best told from 1st perspective. Awesome stuff.
9/10 chapter I think!
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
  9. porygon
I'll be sticking to priiarly flavor reviews unless I notice anything really off.

Anyways cheese and crackers what a chapter. I feel like I say this all the time but what a rollercoaster ride. I wish I could get my big battles to feel so clean. I'll have to keep studying.

Anyways, I thought all the moving pieces were pretty clear. I had a good idea enough of who was in play, even though it was chaotic. The broad strokes were clean, and the crucial small details were clear.

I loved the use mega evolution so greatly... Although I am very disappointed for no mega flygon. Shame on you!

I loved the huge power boost, how it even made a difference even against Raikou, at least a little.

Speaking of. Raikou is pretty heckin terrifying. Worst time for it to show up. Yike.

massive field wide thunderbolts and stuff... Legendaries power on display is cool to see.

Weavile shoveled rice balls into her mouth.
ahahha I like this picture. This is very amusing.

“Lexx?!” Starr’s voice rang in outrage.
I want to punch him. I need to punch him.


“Show’s about to start, everyone!” Ender called out, releasing his Xatu. Then he and the psychic blinked out of sight.
I'm sure everything will be just fine, right? Right??

Anywas. ANother hackin great chapter that in no way leave me anxious about the future.
 
Partners
  1. skiddo-steplively
  2. skiddo-px2
  3. skiddo-px3
  4. skiddo-iametrine
  5. skiddo-coolshades
  6. skiddo-rudolph
  7. skiddo-sleepytime
  8. snowskiddo
  9. skiddotina
  10. skiddengo
  11. skiddoyena
  12. skiddo-obs
It has been entirely too long, eh? Maybe this time I'll actually be able to keep up with reviews. I'm just going to jump in with the fun new stuff, but I'm happy to go back and gush over the twelve million chapters I didn't get around to reviewing if there's something you'd like to hear me blather about!

Falling. ...

ngl for a minute there I forgot where we'd last left off before Stalker Time and thought we were still in the middle of Rocket Problems lol

Nice to see Jade and Aros getting some bonding time in, though! I love the stress-free flights in this fic; you really get the swooping sensation, the wind in your hair, it's all really vivid :D

Firestorm rubbed the back of his head. "*Probably? I don't really care which one of us is faster.*"

"*You should,*" Aros replied immediately.

Excited to see when this rivalry gets pushed a little harder, too, heh. It's just a matter of which train wreck is currently underway when it does!

Firestorm was demonstrating something involving a powerful gust of wind, his wings glowing red as a heat haze warped the air in front of him. It seemed like an odd choice since Swift wouldn't be able to copy anything like that, but it was still nice to see them having fun.

Ooh, heat wave Swift incoming. Maybe one day Jade will learn more about which moves her pokémon can actually pick up! :P

Chibi was silent for some time. "*It's not,*" he finally answered. But there was an odd hesitation in his voice.

Not at all because we're still coming to terms with something ourselves, nope.

Man, I feel like it's been a while since we've really seen Stygian! So much has been happening up in the sky lately, I guess. Still as brusque and pragmatic and absol as ever, though. Stygian and Aros's relationship is another one I'm really keen to see more of.

"*If he joins another trainer you gotta find 'em and we gotta fight him!*"

Aww. Weavile and their close battlin' buddies, eh? I hope she gets to see Floatzel Skarmory again some day!

And speaking of floatzel... mmm, you weren't kidding when you said there'd be some interesting Jet stuff coming up. This may be my own forgetfulness talking, but the last we'd seen of Jet was after she'd been badly hurt during the Rocket fight, correct? Jet's behavior here is intriguing: still (at least on the surface) excited about being able to save legendaries, but somehow coming to the conclusion that she doesn't have a choice (why? the weight of what she's realized she's gotten herself into? something else personal we don't know about yet?). How much of this relates to what happened back in Hoenn? I don't get the sense that she was ever super close to a lot of Jade's team, unless I missed something... there are plenty of examples in media of strangers or rivals who pass through fire together and come out of it closer, but that sort of experience could so, so easily swing the other way and make a person do some serious second-guessing. Or possibly be in denial about that second-guessing.

They kind of did. Maybe I should have been encouraging them to break away from that, but… no, they were perfectly capable of making decisions for themselves and didn't need me telling them what to do.

Not that it would be remotely easy, of course, but maybe they could use a bit of encouragement from a friend...

"You have a choice. You always have a choice," I blurted out without thinking, not entirely sure I was saying it to her.

The Floatzel stared at me incredulously. "*The heck are you on about?*" she asked, and I had the distinct feeling that I'd chosen the wrong thing to say. She gave a swish of her tails and turned to leave. "*This is stupid, I'm out.*"

👀 What's gotten into Jet, indeed...?

The fact that he'd made top cut—the thing that would have been the topic of the day only a week ago—was now only a footnote amongst everything.

Heh, I was gonna say, that was a quick gloss-over. Rudy and his energy are always such a good foil for Jade's constant worry; it's always fun to see the two in contrast like this.

And maybe I could finally stop stewing in my own head. That'd be nice too.

At least she's aware of it, haha! Unfortunately I doubt it'll be quite that simple...

A nice little breather chapter after all the high-stress plot roller coaster of the last few, then! And even then it does a great job of setting something else up to be knocked down, nicely building the tension between Jet and the rest of Jade's team—toward what end, I'm sure I can't say, but I'm looking forward to it!

The sun was low in the sky when I arrived via teleport, and the air was thick with the calls of bird and bug Pokémon from the forest. I let my team out to join the others, and the sheer volume of Pokémon out was a bit staggering. Rudy and Darren had left most of their teams here while they went shopping, which meant we had around two dozen Pokémon all scattered about the campsite. The less sociable ones had wandered off into the forest, but the area was still packed. Pichu and the two Raichu ran circles around Arcanine, who was trying her hardest to ignore them. Aros had challenged Aerodactyl to a race and was being soundly thrashed. Ebony and Jet were playing a game where the former would spit an Ember and the latter tried to put it out with a Water Gun before it could hit the ground—which would have been a lot more concerning if Feraligatr weren't napping nearby. Ajia and Starr were sitting at one of the outdoor tables watching something on a tablet, occasionally laughing.

Ah, such a lovely little scene. So idyllic. So cute. A nice reminder that these kids are friends who can just hang out and laugh together. Shame if some legendaries were to come along and spoil the fun.

There was a tearing sound as Weavile finally succeeded at stealing one of the bags from Alakazam only for her claws to tear clean through, sending marshmallows spilling out over the grass. Jet and Ebony immediately abandoned their fire hazard game to start vacuuming up the fluffy white lumps.

aaaaaaaaaaa bbys

Jet and Ebony were having a contest to see who could fit more marshmallows in her mouth while Weavile cheered the two on.

Given all the tension of the previous chapter, it's nice to see that Jet does seem to be forming a bond with someone!

we were just reacting to the Rockets.

Jade: A Life Story

Ajia rested her chin on the back of her hand, thinking. "Recently, we've only been able to react after the Rockets make a move. I don't think we can expect to come out ahead that way."

A wee nitpick, jokes aside: since Jade's narration said just about the same thing a few paragraphs ago (right down to "come out ahead" in both), I'd consider giving either Jade or Ajia a different angle to ponder this from.

Starr shutting down just about everything they come up with is great. There's not going to be any getting out of this until it's all over, of course, for whatever "over" ends up meaning. So how much longer until she's finally forced to admit that her friends are involved, full stop... and that she is, too?

[No,] Lugia answered immediately.

I stared up at the dragon-bird, utterly perplexed. "Why not?"

Are we really surprised that Lugia isn't eager to have anything to do with poké balls ever again? :P I suspect there's a bit more to it than just that, mind.

"Was anyone else surprised by Articuno using Water Pulse?" Darren asked suddenly.

Hm, I don't think I caught those! Troubling. I guess, if I had even noticed the shadow balls before (hint: I probably did not, I am dense), that I might've brushed it off as legendaries being able to find other ways to learn a wide variety of moves. I ought to know by now that you're very deliberate with your move choices, heh.

Lugia paused, thinking hard. [I am quite familiar with Articuno's techniques. I have never known them to use control water before.]

Don't think you meant to have both "use" and "control" there. unless they're casting a D&D spell in which case carry on

"That is not the same and you know it," Ho-oh said, waving a wing dismissively. "Energy signatures exist to be modified. Reproductive Pokémon can even pass on their life experiences. It's quite fascinating."

ho-oh's a nerd

I figured the trip was going to wait until tomorrow, but within half an hour, Starr was dragging me off the couch, insisting I come with her and Ajia.

Hm. Meeting adjourned already? Wasn't expecting to see Jade on the couch; they didn't actually manage to come up with a plan of action, did they? :P I mean, yeah, they reconvene later once the shopping's done, but it does admittedly seem a bit off that they just sorta had a sit down without some more brainstorming or decision-making happening.

[Our bodies wear out just like any other living beings,] she went on. [It's our energy signature that persists indefinitely. When we die, the energy from the body condenses into an egg, which forms a new body.]

Heh, neat! I've got something similar in one of my own settings. Well, some of 'em, anyway. Lugia in that setting just reproduce normally. :V

The relaxed tone was strange. It felt like we should have been doing more. More training, more strategizing. More preparation for the next disaster, whenever it came. But we deserved this. I deserved this.

Hm, yeah, I dunno. Still seems a bit odd to me that their ideas just started and ended at "new moves!" Like, sure, that'll definitely be helpful the next time you get into a fight with TR... but what are you going to do to either instigate or avoid that fight? To figure out what TR's doing? Obviously there's no easy answer to this, but it feels a little like everyone just got distracted, I suppose. (Though the legends turning out to be relative babbies does go a ways toward making that a bit more relatable, heh.)

Lugia hummed, mulling the question over. [I enjoy traversing the powerful, warm currents through the southern seas. I can easily lose myself in their embrace. Sometimes I go about mapping the layout of the seafloor in my mind. Losing myself in tracing every detail. It's such a complex system. I've tried diving to the deepest depths that I can find. Finding new places to go even deeper. I once spent five years at the bottom, pushing myself to project my mind, my psychic field outward from myself, as far as it could possibly go. Leagues away.]

aaaaah, these are such wonderfully lugia things, I love it.

Lugia paused, as though it hadn't considered that before. [I suppose… the ocean currents would still flow without my wings, but… I still think of myself as a caretaker of sorts. It is… something like self-expression, for me. I know the others feel the same with their domain.]

I just. Like this kinda stuff. Is good.

Huh. Until now, I hadn't really properly considered the fact that whoever wrote that legend obviously must have been hoping we'd succeed, right? It didn't make any sense. Why would someone supposedly trying to help just… decide not to give us all the information we needed?

The eternal question. :P

The video was well-made, and the Glalie instructor clearly knew what he was doing. The video was even narrated by him directly (with subtitles), as part of a growing effort to make YouTube more accessible to Pokémon.

yes good

"Uh… it says here you have to… configure your energy signature for the ice element, which is… characterized by a negative pressure? So even though you're pouring infinity energy into the beam, it's actually pulling heat from the target, which makes it seem cold." What was any of this.

Welcome to Pokémon. :P (This is genuinely pretty neat, though!)

And so we end with a great, chill (heh) convo and some lovely growth between Jade and Lugia this time around, full of lots of the sorts of worldbuilding detail I love and even some juicy Stalker lore—excellent. I just love getting to see legendaries as people, people who want and do things beyond just "protect whatever element", who interact with other legendary-people in a way that isn't just "council of the gods" or "stand ominously and be enigmatic at each other" or whatever. I want more of all of these, damn it. (And hopefully the group'll have at least a little more time to come up with a plan before the Rockets make their next move. :D)
 

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
Location
The Yangverse
Pronouns
Any
Partners
  1. reshiram
  2. zygarde
Here for Smeargle Swap! CW blood:

jade_this_is_fine.png
 

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
Location
The Yangverse
Pronouns
Any
Partners
  1. reshiram
  2. zygarde
Whoops,forgot to post this. Another Smeargle Swap ft.one of my fave scenes!:


legendarian_chronicles_raichu_torture.png
 

Negrek

The One Star
Staff
leg chronicles catch-up

Chapter 49

[Note: I wrote like 85% of this review in like June or some shit, which is why the formatting's different than for Ch 50 and also I reiterate some things here. Oops!]

Glad to see another chapter! Always fun to see some interaction between Jade and Lugia. I have the feeling things are going to be ramping up again pretty soon (it would be kind of hilarious if Team Rocket also attacked the unofficial league finals after crashing the real ones...) one way or another, but there's plenty going on in this chapter anyhow. Some quick sentence notes first:

This was the first time we had the patron Legendaries here with us since the Hoenn mission.
*we'd had

Ajia rested her chin on the back of her hand, thinking. “Recently, we’ve only been able to react after the Rockets make a move. I don’t think we can expect to come out ahead that way.”
It might be better not to have Jade mulling this over if Ajia's just going to come out and say it a little later on; it felt a bit redundant to me.

I tilted my head, feeling a bit uneasy. They’d had problems with humans before…?
It felt a bit strange to me that Jade's all "problems with humans? que?" here, and then being alarmed at someone other than Team Rocket causing problems for the legends. A couple paragraphs ago Mew mentioned that the Sootopolis legends were used to humans causing problems and it didn't register as more than mildly disappointing to Jade.

I have never known them to use control water before.
Little typo here.

I would’ve killed for a flight harness, but Lugia didn’t exactly like the idea of advertising that it had a rider.
I see what you did about the harness. :P (Wear a helmet, Jade!)

Chibi took up flinging small rocks into the air with his Iron Tail for Firestorm to hit with small, concentrated fireballs.
I think you might want to cut one of the "small"s in this sentence--likely the first.

Until now, I hadn’t really properly considered the fact that whoever wrote that legend obviously must have been hoping we’d succeed, right?
The "right?" at the end there reads very strangely to me. It reads more like Jade's questioning that she hadn't considered that fact before than what I assume is the intended meaning, that she isn't totally sure that the person writing the legend was hoping they'd succeed. I think simply slapping a period after "succeed" would work well, but one way or another, I think this would be better shifted around somehow.

I was a bit weirded out in the second half of the chapter when, after leaving off on a "we're gonna learn ice beam" note, they appeared to be doing some completely unrelated training instead. Obviously they got there eventually, but at first I was confused.

Lugia's talk about the pressure to do well by one's power makes me wonder... Are there/have there ever been legends who don't do that, or even try? What happens if a legend goes rogue? We don't really see them misbehaving in canon, aside from perhaps Groudon and Kyogre, and in this fic those two are explicitly just doing their thing. But surely not all the legends, in their every incarnation, have tried to use their powers for good. We've seen some ideological differences among the legends so far, but none so far that are really "bad guys;" I wonder whether that will change. (I remain intrigued over the role Mewtwo's going to play in this story...) (me coming back to this review in December and looking at that parenthetical like "omg")

Loads of fun legendary lore here in general! I get the feeling it's going to become relevant as we move into the second half of this story. I really enjoyed Jade kind of recognizing the legends as people for the first time here, as well as realizing how lost and burdened Lugia is itself. While I think at the same time Lugia was learning to see Jade as a person for the first time! Their relationship obviously has a long way to go, but it was great to see them working together here. Not without hiccups! But they were both clearly trying, and that's still a ton of progress, considering where they started from, heh. Quiet one-on-one scenes like this are super important for developing this relationship, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how it changes over time! Although Jade's been through a lot already, I feel like the real trials haven't even begun yet.

One last brief note--there were a couple things in this chapter that stuck out to me that I knew were responses to previous reviews. The flight harness being one, the "why doesn't Lugia get a pokéball" being another. It was a bit strange for me to see them here, because it felt weird for them to be coming up now, rather than back in the chapters where those questions were raised. Answering those questions later on in the story, as here, feels more out of place than simply not saying anything further about the issue. But there may also be the fact that they stuck out to me because I knew the context for them--someone reading without being aware of it might not notice in the slightest! I guess what I'm saying is, don't worry too much about my nitpicks down the line! If you want to change things wherever they first come up, change 'em, but it's no pressure! I'm not reading later chapters going, "Man, when is that flight harness thing going to get addressed?"

I can't believe we're nearly at Chapter 50! I know you've been busy recently, but I hope the writing has been going well and we'll be getting another chapter of this fic soon!

Chapter 50

You KNOW I'm here for the return of Mewtwo! Gonna do some line reactions first and get to him at the very end, as he appears in this chapter. :P

It might as well have been the real deal.
Might as well *be, since the tourney hasn't happened yet.

Even if it was just a trap that had caused us to fail miserably in Hoenn, we’d still gotten out alive, and managed to free Moltres in the process.
No comma after "alive," since "managed to free Moltres" isn't a complete sentence.

- I did enjoy the little moment in the car on the way to the League where Jade's mentally freaking out over why they've been summoned and Rudy's just like, "dude, this car is SICK"

“Gooood freaking question,” Starr muttered, shutting the car door and shooting a visible glare at the driver.
"Visible glare reads odd to me. I'm not sure what it's getting you that just "glare" wouldn't communicate.

“Full offense, but if we’ve been hanging around them, I think we understand their power better than you.”
For some reason "full offense" really got me. Great Starr moment.

Ajia didn’t feel safe calling for Mew, and I could hardly blame her. Rudy ended up calling Darren.
They didn't have some League official teleport them back, too? Rude.

Letting out some steam sounded nice.
I think the expression is usually "letting off some steam."

She conversed silently with Mew for a minute before Mew appeared at her side, her eyes wide with intrigue.
Intrigue is plotting, planning, covert dealing--it's not the same as "intriguing!" I think something like "curiosity" would work better here (and when Mewtwo similarly has "intrigue" later).

<I traveled to a distant land across the sea.>
Very curious about where that happened to be. Somewhere without any legendary pokémon, presumably... makes me think Orre, lol. Or perhaps he was avoiding the local legends but going to scope things out in Sinnoh? Or is he saying he was staying away from humans, not Guardians?

Would you live the rest of your life in solitude, isolated from the world? A prisoner by another name?
tbh this is pretty much how I thought Lugia spent its time, heh. Doesn't seem like one to seek out companionship.

<I have trusted one. That is all.> I didn’t have any idea what to make of that.
Ooh, spicy. Former commander guy who's still floating around out there somewhere?

The little bit at the beginning of the chapter with Darren was super interesting to me! I've always felt like I don't have a great understanding of the guy and where he fits into the rest of the story. He's the calmest and most mature of the main cast, and as he points out here, the one most likely to do, say, <i>actual research</i> and generally the smarter stuff. But he's always been in the background a bit, disconnected from the rest. I'm really curious what his ultimate role is going to be! Is he going to end up with a legendary companion, too? He's on the fic poster, after all! I'm still kind of waiting for the moment when he steps out into the spotlight, although that's clearly not where he wants to be. I thought the opening conversation with him talking about how he gave up his spot in the finals and is more interested in smaller tournaments was a fun little bit of worldbuilding. Because of course in the same way not everybody who plays football or hockey necessarily wants to play on the national or international stage, it makes perfect sense that there would be smaller battling organizations set up in the various regions, and people who gravitate towards those rather than the biggest leagues. And of course, this was another example of Darren probably being the most clear-headed and mature of the group. :P

...I feel like I've already written something like this about Darren before. Have I? My mind's playing tricks, heh.

I liked the sense we got this chapter of how torn the kids are between the multiple factions butting heads in this awful impending war. There's the legends, the League, two Rocket factions, and oh, yeah, Mewtwo basically has his own side now. If any two of those could actually be convinced to work together, they might have the ability to take on all the rest... but nobody trusts anyone, everyone's trying to balance their loyalties against their fears, and Lorelei goes about things exactly the wrong way to get the legends and their chosen ones on her side. I do kind of have to wonder how things would have gone down if it had just been Jade and maybe Ajia and alone with Lorelei. As Jade repeatedly noted throughout the conversation, Starr in particular wasn't exactly... helping. And even after that meeting, I doubt Rudy really understands the full ramifications of their situation; he seems like he's the least politically-minded of the bunch.

From someone in the League looking in, though, this must look like a really awful situation for the kids, a sort of "blink twice if you've been semi-voluntarily soulbonded to ancient inhuman forces" thing. Which it is! The whole legendary choosing thing is objectively kind of fucky. But unfortunately the League's too wrapped up in its own interests to really be the people to help Jade and company out here, and while I kind of wonder whether any one of the Elite Four <i>on their own</i> might have the courage to go against the League's official decision and try to do something about TR or the legendaries, it's clear that as an institution, there'll be no help from them. And also they might be about to go down to Rocket takeover anyway.

And then there's Mewtwo, out advertising for his own method of dealing with the human vs legend conundrum. I'm pretty much over here going "MEWTWO, NO" the entire time, heh. I can only imagine that, while the legends' plan doesn't seem... great, whatever Mewtwo's going to do about the situation is probably going to do the exact opposite of help. He's not really <i>wrong</i> about what he sees going on, but... I think his methods of trying to fix it are going to end up being pretty bad news bears. To be honest, I'd love to see him get a little more time alone with Jade to just hang out and, you know, "live." Really sucks that, as Jade notes, he's been a prisoner all his life, and upon release he's just immediately been flung into this whole legends vs humans mess. Let Mewtwo have friends, Chibi! Let Mewtwo have friends.

I have a feeling all hell is going to break loose soon! Things went so well during the last League tournament, after all. And if there's a time in the near future when the Elite Four might be away from the League, leaving the building unguarded as they perhaps attend an "unofficial" final bracket, well, I'm sure there won't be consequences. Stoked to see Mewtwo back again and look forward to more of him in the future. Good luck with your rewrites and your work on the next chapter!
 

Virgil134

PMD Writer
Partners
  1. sylveon
  2. weavile
  3. kommo-o
  4. noivern
  5. mothim
Heya Chibi! Glad to kick off the Review Blitz by picking LC back up again.

Chapter 18

We were flying blind.

Well, except for two things.

Mewtwo had been transferred to Viridian yesterday. That would have been a red flag all by itself, but then Entei had been transferred as well. The Kanto force borrowing assets from Johto was apparently unheard of, and Stalker had been particularly concerned about it. The second thing was that Saffron had reported huge amounts of money being poured into tech development. Way more than normal. That, combined with tons of shipments of… something coming from Cerulean, had to mean they were building something.

Given the chapter artwork, I’m guessing it’s because Team Rocket is gonna try to capture the Legendary Birds. Which makes “flying blind” a fun little wordplay, heh

Something tells me they’re not gonna accept my admin rights as easily as the card scanners

“Yes sir, I’m totally a real admin. I’m just a very talented battler for someone my age.”

Five minutes later, we’d tracked down and unlocked a supply closet with spare uniforms, and I’d swapped out my boots and gloves for the white with red stripes that signified officer rank at a glance.

I feel like this went a bit too easy for them. While I can appreciate not dragging things out by having Jade and Darren having to jump through several hoops just to get the right uniforms, it feels a little convenient that while infiltrating a Team Rocket base they can just go up to a closet, pull out officer uniforms, and put them on with no problem. Ideally you don’t want any low ranked grunt to just go up and grab these, especially since they’re aware that Stalker’s rebels have infiltrated their ranks.

“What kind of officer need a grunt’s help to get through a door?” Darren asked wryly.

I only barely managed to stop myself from snorting out loud. After a quick scan of the area to make sure no one was nearby, I turned and said, “You expect an officer to lower themselves to opening a door when there are grunts around to take care of it?”

“Oh man. Got me there. Right away, officer.”

Haha, these two XD

Voices nearby. I froze, throwing a wide-eyed look of panic toward Darren. He hadn’t noticed—he was still focused on taking pictures. I couldn’t say anything—not with Rockets approaching. But I had to do something, and fast. Which meant awkwardly tiptoeing over to him, now very aware of the sound each footstep made against the metal trailer floor, and waving a hand in front of his face. Darren blinked a few times at my behavior and tilted his head in total confusion. I gestured wildly out the opening, feeling like an idiot until his eyes widened slightly and he mouthed the word “oh.” Finally!

We had to hide. But the only cover available to us was the giant machine itself. Which meant climbing up onto its flat base, crouching low behind the cannon and desperately praying that we were out of sight. I strained my ears to hear the voices I’d caught earlier. Were they still approaching? What if the only reason they headed over here in the first place was because they’d noticed us?

Oh man, the voices were getting louder. I screwed my eyes shut and clenched my fists. Come on. Leave. Each second dragged on like an eternity. I had no idea how long it’d been. Long enough that my legs had gone numb from kneeling. But I didn’t dare shift my weight to regain feeling. Not until they were gone.

I really like this bit. You can really feel the tension while reading it.

We had a couple of Pokémon that could easily cut through the thin trailer walls—Firestorm and Sneasel came to mind.

I know there’s different headcanons and such, but I just have such a hard time imagining this idea actually being executed ^^:

Like, imagine trying to cut a large hole in the wall with a knife. That probably wouldn’t go all that great. Animal or Pokemon claws aren’t really sharper than a knife, but on top of that they’re also curved instead of straight. This means that cutting anything with them is even harder, since claws are things that exist for the purpose of ripping and tearing flesh, not making clean cuts like what's needed for what Jade is suggesting here.

If Firestorm or Sneasel are instead using an actual move, then maybe it can work, but from the way Jade was talking about this I didn’t really get the impression that that was her idea. If they do that they’re not just cutting through the wall, but also striking it with force. Doing this would make noise, which would be the main reason for not wanting to do this, since the Rockets would then discover the group before they can even make it out of the trailer. Yet, Jade isn’t worried about that all, only that others might see the hole sometime after she and the others have already escaped.

But that meant… they’d have to be able to absorb and store energy from Pokémon attacks, not just deflect it like most energy shields. That… wasn’t possible… was it? They’d already done it with electric attacks, but that was easy.

“So you’re saying… this thing can absorb any element of Pokémon energy? Not just electric?”

Oh boy, that’s not good. On the other hand, you can’t deny that Team Rocket always gets the coolest tech XD

“So now we’ve just gotta get out of here. We can teleport out now, right?”

“Yeah, but Kadabra can only teleport places he’s been before, or places he can see.”

I’m not sure I understand. Didn’t they say earlier that they couldn’t teleport out? What changed? Since they didn’t know at first that they had to stay in the trailer to find out where the machine would get transported to, meaning that in the prior scene teleporting to someplace safe where Kadabra has been before would have been perfect for them.

“*It really is you?*” Articuno cried out, its voice high-pitched and melodious, like the whistling of wind. “*It is so good to see you again!*” The falcon’s scarlet eyes were wide with relief.

I see Articuno and the others aren’t the best at reading facial expressions considering they don’t notice Entei’s blank eyes :p

come at us with your own strength, if you have any!

Team Rocket: “Yeah, it’s called ‘being smarter than you’.”

team-rocket-celebrate.gif


“Why didn’t you guys tell me you were going to a Legendary mission!” Rudy shouted indignantly the second he found us.

Someone is jealous :V

*We agreed to join the fight when we stayed on the island. It’s as simple as that,*” Aros added in as disinterested a tone as possible, just in case I got the idea he cared or anything

Aros: “I-It’s not like I like you humans or anything, baka!”

Charizard’s got enough X Speed to last awhile.

I have to admire the usage of stat boost items here. Don’t think I’ve seen any other writers do anything with them.

Have Pokémon out in front of you at all times that can alternate using Protect while the others attack from behind.

Heh, I still like it when other writers have characters use this technique as well.

A dark aura wreathed our bodies, and suddenly it was like we had become shadow. This was what Feint Attack looked like from the inside, wasn’t it? Suddenly it was like they weren’t even aiming at us at all—we were a shadow tracing the ground, and then we were behind them. The bug-dragon swung his tail at the Rockets, knocking them all clean off their feet right before their Pokémon lunged at us. Aros raised a Protect barrier at the last second just as Swift used their distraction to break through the trees. Without wasting a second, Pikachu leaped off of Swift’s back right into the center of the fallen Rockets, unleashing strings of electricity all over them. The Rockets cried out in pain as the attack coursed through them, then fell silent.

That wasn’t Thunder Wave… that was Thundershock. She hadn’t paralyzed them, she’d straight-up knocked them out.

I was enjoy the action so far, but I admittedly didn’t really like this part. I feel like things went too easy here, between Aros being able to instantly flank the Rockets with Feint Attack (this depiction of Feint Attack still throws me off), being able to knock all of them of their feet with a single swipe of his tail, or Pikachu KOing all of them with a mere Thundershock (even though Thundershock isn’t a multi target move and probably shouldn’t even be able to hit all of them, let alone be that damaging)

Arbok crept along the ground into the center of our lineup and lashed out, catching Nidorino in its coils. But he just stood his ground and let all his spikes stand on end, forcing the serpent to release him

I see this Arbok is just as smart as Jessie’s to try and coil around a creature with sharp spikes :V

Mew was here?!

Oh snap, I didn’t expect that. I figured Lugia might show up from that cry of help, but definitely not Mew!

Anyway, I’m liking it so far despite the criticisms I mentioned earlier. I can definitely see how this chapter flows well into the next one like you mentioned in DMs. Let’s keep it going!

Chapter 19

With the flapping of wings and a flash of shimmering light, Fearow shot forward from behind us and put up a Protect just a split second before the sound of gunfire rang out and bullets pinged off the shield.

I could be forgetting some things here, but has anybody ever gotten hit by a bullet? I definitely don’t think there have been any lethal hits. With how trigger happy the Rockets appear to be, the amount of rebels that are fighting them, and there having been multiple fights at this point, I feel like there should logically be some that have gotten hit, especially the Pokémon who are always at the front and center.

It seems like the Rockets always either have bad aim or that there’s a someone blocking the bullet with a conveniently timed Protect. There’s never been any mention of rebels that came back from a mission where one of their Pokémon had to get treated for a bullet wound, or worse, died. I get that a story where Pokémon get shot and killed left and right wouldn’t be very entertaining, but I’m just having a hard time believing that things go this smooth when dealing with guns. Both Pokémon and humans seem to get hit by attacks from other Pokémon no problem, but bullets that are faster than Pokémon attacks, can be fired more rapidly, and can’t really be dodged don’t seem to be able to.

I’m just not sure what the guns really add to the story, since I feel like nothing really comes from it.

and with a with a rider on her back, too! Wait a second… it was Darren!

That… must be a very big Absol if she can carry a human on her back, since normally Absol are about the size of a large dog. Perhaps Darren is just really small? Since it’s not just about carrying him, she also has to maneuver quickly and fight all while having someone that’s about her weight (if not more) on her back. That should logically slow her down significantly, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.

Bullets pelted its hide, but it didn’t even seem to care. It wasn’t even slowed down. One after the other, it sent jeeps flying with high-pressure water blasts, stamping the escaping Rockets into the dirt, catching them in its jaws and hurling them into the ALR barrier with a—

While I understand that Suicune is a Legendary Pokémon and that they’re supposed to be very powerful, him being bulletproof (or at least being able to shrug off multiple bullets with literally zero effects) honestly breaks suspension of disbelief for me. I know I’ve made several comments about stuff that I had trouble believing, but this one was kinda just in a class of its own since the encounter felt a bit too "Superman" for me. It kinda took me out of things, and I just didn't have much fun reading through those parts.

Also, even if I assume these are normal, unarmored jeeps, I don’t really find it believable that Suicune can send them flying with a Hydro Pump. After all, these are vehicles that weigh several tons, yet they're thrown around like toys from what's basically a blast of water.

Mew had taken to blinking in and out of view around the battlefield, teleporting non-stop, pressing buttons on the fallen Master Balls and trying to open as many of them as possible. But then a blue aura appeared around all of them, and they flew out of her reach, pulled by Mewtwo’s telekinesis.

Okay, I will say that this is a pretty good turnaround. Despite my criticisms I do like how the scenes keeps the reader on his toes. This conflict really can go either way, and right now I genuinely don’t know if Team Rocket or the rebels are gonna win.

Wait a minute. The ALRs couldn’t run the barrier and the ray at the same time. Now that the shield was down, the machines wouldn’t be absorbing any attacks thrown at them. Which meant that without having to overwhelm the entire network at once, we could target them individually!

Why don’t they just keep some ALRs in defense mode while others in offense mode? That way you still have some defense, but at the same time you can also fire beams if needed. Seems like a pretty big strategic blunder from Team Rocket.

Aros threw a glance back at me like I was insane. “*The hell was that?*”

Not sure why Aros acts like Jade just came up with some absurd idea when it actually makes sense. You’re basically exploiting a major flaw in Team Rocket’s strategy.

“Aros, the van, over there. Entei’s in there,” I said.

“*I saw.*”

“We’re going to steal it.”

For about the millionth time that day, Aros turned his neck to gape at me like I’d just said the craziest thing he’d ever heard. “*What?*”

Yeah I just… don’t get Aros at all. He even recognized the importance of the van right here, yet still reacts like this. I’m not sure if Jade’s idea was supposed to seem reckless, but that doesn’t really come through for me, since her plan doesn’t seem all that reckless at all.

Aros is still my least favorite character by a longshot and him doubting Jade and looking at her like she’s crazy every time she has an idea (especially when they’re smart ones) isn’t really helping.

I threw open the door and Firestorm immediately jumped forward to spew a thick cloud of smoke inside. Swift circled around in the air and called out, “*Only two of them!*”

No gunfire yet. Aros shot through the smoke, and a couple of panicked yelps reached my ears right before he emerged, carrying two flailing Rockets in lab coats.

Why did these Rockets keep the car door open? They’re parked in what’s pretty much a warzone with some very important equipment, so even with the camouflage you’d think they’d at least keep their car doors locked to prevent situations like… well this.

Also how does Swift see through the smoke? Keen Eye prevents your own accuracy from being lowered, but I’m not sure how it would result in him having X-Ray vision. And how does Aros just pick up two fully grown men with those flimsy Flygon arms? I’m just having a hard time imaging all of this.

I climbed inside, followed by both of my Pokémon, and we were met with a wall of computer consoles and softly flickering lights. Alright, where would Entei’s Pokéball be? I couldn’t see it out in the open. Maybe it had been stashed somewhere for safekeeping? I frantically started throwing open every drawer and compartment I could find… but I couldn’t find any Pokéballs. Or anything resembling a Pokéball, for that matter. That didn’t make any sense. It should have been here.

Maybe they’ve already transported their Pokéballs back to Team Rocket headquarters? That would be my guess. Either way, you’d expect some security here instead of just two unarmed scientists with no Pokémon.

“*I’m not afraid of her. Half her team’s fire-type. Fire doesn’t hurt m—*” The Flygon’s words were cut off by a red-hot fireball to the face, knocking him backward. “*Oh shit, that’s hot!*” he cried, bracing himself against the back door of the van.

Lmao, that was actually pretty funny XD

And then a sudden bolt of lightning struck her from nowhere, knocking her to the ground instantly. What the hell? How—where had that come from?! My question was answered when a spiky Pikachu shot into our field of view, stopping in its tracks right in front of the van.

Chibi!

With everything being so chaotic, Chibi being able to find Jade and arrive right at this moment seems a little convenient.

We’d been attacking heavily armored weaponry all day, it was actually kind of funny seeing his Fire Punch tear through ordinary computers.

But isn’t most of the stuff still made of metal here, so how does he just “tear” through them?

Though based on the heavily armored comment it sounds like the trucks really were armored, which makes that bit with Suicune earlier even more baffling to me.

I struck the ground and kept going, tumbling over and over before finally skidding to a stop in a crumpled heap, every inch of my body racked with pain.

Oh my god, of course the main character gets shot right after I make a comment about how nobody ever gets hit XD;

Though, my point about none of the other rebels or their Pokémon ever gotten hit so far still stands.

Still, I’m a little confused why Jade hit the ground multiple times. The description wasn’t clear enough for me to make that out. I’m also a little surprised Jade got hit instead of Aros, considering he’s a bigger target, but I guess that just happens sometimes,

Anyhow, as you were probably able to gather I didn’t really enjoy chapter 19. Wish I could say otherwise, but I’m sorry ^^;

Still, I liked some of the Pokémon on Pokémon action, even if the nameless characters don’t really seem to form much of a threat despite how Team Rocket’s combat unit has been build up so far. I also really like the cliffhanger this chapter ended on. Jade getting captured has lots of potential. I’m sure next chapter will be better!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya,

I'll admit, I didn't exactly plan on starting to throw reviews out for this story since it's kinda intimidating to start from scratch for a 50-chapter story, but I'd been having a good time with what I have read of LC so far, and you've been pretty generous with feedback. So I decided that since one of my resolutions for this Review Blitz was to try and pay things forward to other writers who have given past reviews and the like for my writing and you surprised me with a fresh review on my plate earlier today... I opted to just take the leap of faith and write some honest-to-goodness reviews of LC beyond simple Discord impressions.

Prologue

This story began with the human who rejected infinity.
It will end with the human who accepted it.

Not sure how much of a world there's gonna be at the end of that story with a tagline like that, but I suppose that's something to find out along the ride. ^^;

A pair of eyes snapped open, radiating a cobalt aura and piercing the inky blackness within the depths of the sea. The true blessing of light had never reached the ocean floor, and even the rare glow of life could not break its concealment. The creature to which the eyes belonged knew this better than any other. The deep was always dark and always would be. The deep was always calm—not like the surface. The deep could always hide those who wished to be hidden. But the time for hiding was at its end.

At once, the creature shot up from the ocean trench like a silver torpedo. The crushing depths released their hold as it flew through the water, scattering countless tiny water Pokémon in its wake. Piercing eyes adjusted to the rapid increase of light just in time to be met with the inviting glimmer of the surface right above. And then the beast rocketed out of the sea. Cool, salty air washed over its body, a sharp contrast to the water’s embrace. The sensation prickled like needles against its feathers, but still… there was something almost freeing about being able to beat its wings through the currents of wind and take gulps of sweet air that at once burned its unused lungs, yet felt so good.

Oh hey! It's Pleo! Plus a few centuries of growth and maturity. And in a completely different time and place, so... you know, not Pleo at all. But I'm sticking with the comparison. :V

Also, I'll be doing my normal style I've ironed out of leaving rewording suggestions in the format roughly as above. You're free to ignore them if you feel they don't quite match what you're going for, but might as well throw them out there.

It was so wildly different than the deep, but somehow felt just as right. Flying was, indeed, one of the simplest joys in this world. The creature effortlessly sailed through the skies, its wings stealing bits of silvery cloud from all around to shield it from the view of any onlookers, had there been any. One could never be too careful, especially these days.

So no squawking sea shanties from LC's overgrown Wingull, huh? A shame, not that I blame big bird for doing so considering that the neighborhood's kinda on a bad trip right now.

The ancient creature had spent much time within the realms of its dominion, reflecting upon the state of the world. The Order had been empowered to protect the balance, and protect it they had. For so long they had kept watch over its course. Caring for it. Guiding it. But there was a time when the balance had fallen, and the flames of war consumed the world. The creature had not witnessed that time itself, but the tale was well known amongst the Order. Even the humans had their stories from that era.

The time for careful observance was at its end. That cataclysmic era had left its mark on the world—one that had lain dormant for nearly 3000 years. Soon the conflict would resurface, and the Order would face its greatest challenge yet. The creature had not wanted to believe it, but the events of the past few years had confirmed those fears.

Wait a minute, did you explicitly tie your story into the whole AZ thing going on in mainline at some point down the pipe in your story? Or was that just a happy accident that happened to just align with canon a decade down the road?

It was a strange thought, knowing that the balance of the world would soon unravel again. Would they be ready? It wasn’t as if the Order had no course of action before them. They all knew what was required. They’d known for ages. And now the search had been set into motion.

youre_serious_futurama.gif


Lugia: "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" ÒvÓ

Even as the fires of the Revolution subside, the balance that the Order fought so hard to preserve is already on the inevitable path to being torn apart once again. Seven among them—the ones who dedicated both mind, body, and spirit toward ending the war—shall be empowered to forge an alliance with humankind so that both might endure.

Well, that's not ominous at all. Especially if those seven happen to be hormonal teenagers with questionable amounts of life experience.
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Lugia:
28f.png


Such a strange course of action, joining the two sides together. But the legend knew just as well as the others that it could not refuse to follow that path. It had seen the threads of fate with its own eyes, much as it hated to admit it. The real question was… [when would the conflict reach a point that the interlopers would be forged]?

I'm... not sure if I can parse that last sentence fully, mostly because of two things:

A: I'm not fully sure who "interlopers" is supposed to be, since the word choice implies said interlopers are an unwanted party, but the framing seems to have been intended to be building towards a bond or connection of some sort with these interlopers needing to be built. If the interlopers aren't a hostile party, you probably want a different term for them.
B: As a result of the above, it's hard to tell whether it's supposed to be building off of the comment about needing to join the aforementioned two sides together, or if this is a threat that's got them all on a clock that they need to beat. If it's the latter and said interlopers are TR, you probably want something like [when would the conflict reach a point that the interlopers could be thwarted?] instead.

Lugia gazed down over the mainland, its mind swimming with conflicted feelings. The next seven years would be interesting, that much was certain.

Huh. Somehow I completely forgot about the fact that this story was slated to cover a timespan of seven years chronologically. I blame it on the fact that I'm still early on in the narrative where it's literally been just a few weeks since the launch of the Rebellion, though how that flow of time is handled is something that I'll be keeping an eye out for as I grind along in this story.

A loud ringing filled the air, which meant it was the end of class for the day—and it was about time, too. I quickly stuffed my books into my backpack, following after my classmates and pretending I hadn’t heard the last-minute assignment that we’d been given. It would have been just as normal as any other afternoon, except my head was still filled with rumors from earlier that morning. [ ]

I glanced down the other end of the hallway just in time to spot my friend Ajia, a small fifth-grader with dark hair and eyes. Well, that was good—at least I’d get to talk to someone before the end of the day.

Okay, I'm gonna be nitpicky here, but I personally feel that if it doesn't blow up an intended plot build-up, it probably makes sense to drop in a sentence or two hinting a bit more concretely what those rumors are about. For instance: if they're about TR going after Entei in the arc immediately after this, it might be worth mentioning in passing that the rumors were about something like "unmarked trucks prowling the woods in recent days".

But yeah, that's just me, and I understand if it's not your cup of tea to roll that way.

“Hey Ajia!” I called out, waving to her from the crowd of my fourth-grade classmates before quickly making my way over to where she was standing.

“Heya, how was class?” she asked.

“Meh… failed a Pokéspeech quiz—you know, as always,” I replied with a smirk.

I'll admit, I was a bit skeptical at first to see that there's a mainstream way for humans to get past the Pokémon speech intelligibility barrier in this story. But from experience, it opens a lot of narrative doors that otherwise remain firmly shut in a mainline setting with a hard language barrier. The benefits of picking that route are another story for another day since it's not topical to this Prologue, but I'll give you props for taking a route that commonly isn't done all that well, and pulling it off in a way that feels natural to your story's world.

Ajia laughed. “Yeah, that class is confusing doom when you first start out. It gets better later on, though,” she said.

Such is life when you're speaking "Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den" - The Language. I do not envy Jade at all there, since from personal experience, learning a tonal language as a L2 language coming off an atonal one as your L1 is a giant pain.

“Yeah…” I replied, my mind wandering back to what had been bothering me most of the day. “So, uh… have you seen Starr? I didn’t even see her at lunch.” I fidgeted a bit—how was I supposed to bring up the topic? “Is it really true, that…?” My words sort of died before the end.

Ajia sighed. “I think she didn’t want to talk about it with you ‘cause she knew you’d take it the hardest.”

[ ]

“What? What does that even—ugh, I’ve got to talk to her before she leaves.”

I personally feel it would've been nice to see a bit more of Jade's internal thought process after Ajia's response since it'd help clue in the readers as to what's going on between her and Starr, but that's just me.

“She’s right outside, actually,” Ajia pointed out.

I blinked. [ ] “Huh? She’s not taking the bus home?”

“No, her mom’s picking her up. If you hurry, you might catch her.”

“Okay. See you on Monday!” I yelled, immediately taking off through a pair of double doors behind me.

Er... yeah, this bit also feels like it'd have been well served slipping in description or Jade's internal thought process somewhere between one or two of these paragraphs. Since as is, "Okay. See you on Monday!" is the 6th line of dialogue in a row with only minimal description being added along with things. The bit after "I blinked." IMO is the best candidate to drop such a paragraph in, since Starr's way of getting home is apparently strange to Jade but we don't really get to see the gears turn in her head as readers.

The bright afternoon light stung my eyes as I raced past the areas where the younger kids would get picked up by their parents. I quickly glanced over all of the groups sitting along the ledges by the parking lot… and then spotted a girl dressed in a purple shirt and jean skirt sitting by herself off to the side. My footsteps slowed. I paused, hesitating for a bit before walking up to her.

“Hey Jade,” Starr mumbled as I neared. She was leaning forward so that her short brown hair fell across her face—probably to keep from looking me in the eye.

I sat down next to her, but didn’t say anything at first. She had only hinted at what was going on, and I had no idea what I was supposed to think. “So… this is really your last day at school here?” I finally asked.

Right. This was why you were playing things so close to your chest with Starr earlier. I still think you had room to hint a bit more to build up to this reveal, especially since this is a very compact Prologue, but I can understand the other side of the coin for the argument.

Starr nodded slowly without looking up.

“Where’re you moving to?” I asked cautiously. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it… and I almost didn’t want to know.

With a blank voice she replied, “Cianwood.” I had no idea where that was supposed to be.

Starr: "... Have you tried using a search engine, Jade?" :|
Jade: "To be fair, are phones with internet capabilities even mainstream in this setting? Since it certainly wasn't when this story was first written." ^^;

Everything fell silent after that. It was like nothing around us even existed. I couldn’t get my thoughts straight—all of this had come up too fast. Sure… I’d known that she was going to leave at the end of the school year, to start her Pokémon training journey. And I’d been trying not to think about it. But I’d thought we’d have three more months together. Not… this.

“It’s not fair!” I yelled, burying my face in my arms. “Why’d this have to come out of nowhere? And moving on your birthday? What’s up with that?”

“I don’t know… it’s all my mom’s idea, and she didn’t tell me anything. But my dad’s staying here in Viridian.

Okay, so I'm admittedly spoiled to the twist behind Starr's line there thanks to Blacklight. But it was something even before that happened that made me go 'hmm' internally when I first saw it. Since Viridian has a certain reputation in Kanto mainline.

I slowly uncovered my face, turning toward her. “You never really see your dad much anymore… do you?”

She shook her head.

“Still… it’s dumb that your mom won’t tell you why all of this is happening,” I added.

“Yeah… she keeps saying that she wants me and my brother to have a better life that we couldn’t have gotten here. Or something like that… she never really explains,” Starr mumbled.

Jade: "Wait, Starr. Is this related to your dad's job or something? What on earth does he even do?"
Starr: "... Sorta. Though you know, bossing people around from an office, planning a hostile takeover or two, normal business stuff."

“Hey, that’s right—what does your brother think about all of this? Isn’t he friends with Ajia?”

Starr sighed. “I don’t know, Lexx has been acting weird and not talking to me much lately,” she said with a bit of a scowl.

Neither of us said anything else for a while. I stared at the floor as the time went on, feeling sort of lost. [ ]

“Why didn’t you want to talk to me before you left?” I finally managed.

I personally feel that it might make sense to show off more of Jade's internal thought process there, but that's just me.

Starr: "Because it'd have led to a hugely awkward moment between us, and I didn't want that hanging over me for the rest of the school year?"
Jade: "Starr, how is this any less awkward right now?" >_>;

She sighed again. “I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it, okay?”

“Who says I was gonna?”

Starr laughed. “What do you think you’re doing right now?”

I opened my mouth to say something, but realized she’d got me with that, so I glared and didn’t say anything.

“Pfft, see what I mean? You’re such a little kid,” Starr said, smirking.

Jade: "Starr, we're in grade school!" >.<
Starr: "Well, 'little kid' relative to that then."

“Don’t call me that!” I exclaimed, punching her in the shoulder, but then she just laughed even harder. Yeah, I was annoyed, but I was also glad to see her smiling.

“So… since you’ll be in Johto when you get your trainer’s license, what starter are you gonna choose?” I asked.

“Probably Totodile. You know how much I like water Pokémon.”

Ah yes, a walking administrator of puncture wounds with fishhook teeth. Wonderful choice for an up and coming trainer.
803821849384583219.png


I mean, I would suppose that being socialized as a starter helps take some of the edge off, though whether or not it was intended, it does give Starr some "rough and tumble" vibes to favor a starter that's uniquely equipped to be a handful among its Water-type peers.

I smiled. “Yeah? That’s cool. It just sucks that I won’t be able to start my journey for three more years. Then I could meet up with you and—” The realization hit me out of nowhere. “Hey, wait! If you’re gonna be a Pokémon trainer, that means you can travel anywhere you want, right? So then you can come visit way before I become a trainer!”

She paused, blinking in surprise. “I… hadn’t thought of that,” she said slowly. “It’ll have to wait until I get strong Pokémon to protect me while traveling so far. But… yeah. I’ll do that.”

My face fell. Why wasn’t she more excited about it? Starr was just kind of… staring into the distance, like she was thinking about something. She looked like she wanted to tell me something else, but didn’t say anything.

Jade: "So is this parental issues, or...?"
Starr: "Look Jade, if I feel like I need to tell you about it, I'll do it myself." >_>;

We sat there for some time after that. It was probably only a few minutes, but I wanted it to last forever. And then Starr glanced up suddenly at a blue car that had just parked along the curb. She stared at it for a few seconds, then stood to her feet and threw her backpack over her shoulder before walking towards the car, her feet dragging a bit. She had only taken a few steps when she paused, turning back towards me one last time.

“Bye.”

Just hearing that one word made me feel weirdly numb. I forced a smile—it felt fake, and I could tell from her face that she wasn’t fooled.

I didn’t watch as she got in the car.

Wait, so was that even really Starr's mother who picked Starr up in that car? Since even without knowing about Starr's background that description there felt really, really shifty as-presented.

As for my general opinions, admittedly there's only so much to say from a short Prologue like this, but I do feel it accomplishes its overall job of hooking the audience, establishing that there's trouble on the horizon, and wanting you to come back for more. Though featuring best bird prominently certainly helped with that.
662499150147092533.png


I do wonder if whether or not it made sense to be a little more generous with detail in a few bits given that there were some moments in the second scene with Jade, Ajia, and Starr that felt a bit sparse. While I understand the need to play some things close to the vest given that there's some reveals down the pipe that would fall pretty flat for the reader if you hinted too strongly at some things going on, part of me wonders if it would've made sense to hint more at things not being quite right or imminent plot events since the gas pedal really gets stepped on compared to Jade's normal life over the course of the next couple chapters, and it'd likely have tied things more into it/played up an angle of suspense a bit more.

I admittedly dunno how long it'll take me to catch up with this story, let alone catch up with reviewing this story, but I had a lot of fun just going back and taking a second look at your tale, and I'm still jealous of the amount of TLC you've put into your baby here over the years. I strongly doubt this'll be the last review I swing your way during Review Blitz, so I'll be looking forward to crossing paths with you again soon, @Chibi Pika .
 

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
  9. zorua
Here to review chapter 7!

Oh boy. It's just going to be Jade and Chibi, exploring in the darkness. This'll be interesting.

I'm loving the description of the ship! I can visualize it very clearly!

Seven chapters in and we have a dead body! And to think that this isn't even anywhere close to the most traumatizing thing Jade experiences.

And now Jade is all alone. Surely this won't go horribly wrong. At least she has the bomb controls now, though now it's a race against time to get them all.

And the Rockets are onto her. Oh dear.

I like how Firestorm is angry that he wasn't told about Team Rocket's plans. Shows how much he wants to help.

Oh dear. The Rockets have taken out Chibi. And there's nowhere to run.

I loved Firestorm and Swift stepping up to protect their trainer! I love the bond between them and Jade in general! They both really care about her!

And Firestorm evolved! That was awesome! I love climactic evolutions like this!

Oh dear. Jade has a gun pointed at her.

Chibi to the rescue!

Automatic timed detonation activated.

OH DEAR. Five minutes to save everyone on board. Things are looking very Not Good.

At least she has the captain's help, but I feel like things aren't going to go smoothly.

That was a great chapter! Tense, action-packed, great prose, and great dialogue. I really liked it!

One thing, though, while the places themselves were described excellently, I had a hard time following with positioning. It was difficult for me to tell where characters were in relation to each other, or how the ship was structured. Maybe you could add a bit more detail about that?

Overall, though, it was fantastic!
 

HelloYellow17

Gym Leader
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. suicune
  2. umbreon
  3. mew
  4. lycanroc-wes
  5. leafeon-rui
Howdy hey!! I told you I would check out LC, didn’t I?? :D

Wow, this fic did NOT disappoint. I’m only a couple chapters in, and I am loving it. The prose, the characters, the plot. I can’t wait to read more and to see where this goes!

I know you’re doing a lot of revisions soon, so I held back on crit save for pointing out a couple typos here and there. Though honestly, I don’t think I’d have much crit to give, anyway. This is a really solid fic!

I’ll be back for more, but in the meantime, here’s my thoughts on the prologue and first two chapters!

Prologue
Nothing but calm, sweet silence and solitude, and that was how the guardian of the seas liked it.
A fan of alliteration, I see! I love alliteration myself, so it always makes me happy to see it used in other stories, and used well. :D
Another psychic signal prodded at the back of the creature’s mind, and it let out a sigh. It wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep, was it. Apparently, solitude was too much to ask for.
Lolol I love how majestic the opening scene is, only for it to end up in what is basically an obnoxious psychic phone call. 🤣
Relicanth airily drifted around the much larger guardian, their movements playful. Rather unbecoming for that form.
A psychic? Playful? Most likely a legend or mythical? Shapeshifter? This it totally Mew, isn’t it :D
I quickly stuffed my books into my backpack before following after my classmates and pretending I hadn’t heard the last-minute assignment that we’d been given.
Ahaha what a mood. I love that tiny detail; it shows us a glimpse of Jade’s personality while also making her relatable.
“Eh… failed a Pokéspeech quiz—you know, as always,” I replied with a shrug.
Pokespeech! I see where Free got the idea from, eheheh. Or wait, is it the other way around? I know one of you had your fic inspired by the other, but I forget which is which.
“Hey Jade,” Starr mumbled as I neared, without looking up at me.
After hearing so much about Starr as an Incineroar, it’s honestly a little weird to read about her as a human. 🤣 And…I’m assuming Blacklight Starr is older, right?
“It’s not fair!” I cried, burying my face in my arms. “Why’d this have to come out of nowhere? And moving on your birthday? What’s up with that?”

“I don’t know,” Starr replied with a huff. “It’s all my mom’s idea, and she didn’t tell me anything. And Dad’s not even coming with us.”
Ok so she didn’t tell them they were leaving, and then they leave on her birthday?? Bruh. What the frigg, mom.
“Yeah, she just keeps saying that she wants me and my brother to have a better life that we couldn’t have gotten here. Or something like that,” Starr grumbled.
Okay so clearly they’re leaving for Urgent and Bad Reasons. Hmmmm.

Chapter 1:
“Big deal, I can beat that!” Rudy called out to me while speeding downward on his bike. The usual determined grin covered his tan face; his dark eyes were wide and full of confidence as he raced downward. Neither of us were really experts at this whole biking thing, but who cared? It was by far the best way to spend the after-school hours, and summer offered the promise of biking every day.
Haha this made me nostalgic for childhood summer days. Also, you do an excellent job of writing kids. You can tell they’re young from how they talk, and they act exactly right for the age they are.
Unfortunately, he was right. Summer really was the best time to start a training journey, even though you could apply to take the exam at any time after passing the required two years of Pokémon handling courses beforehand.
Love love love the detail about two years of Pokémon handling courses. It just makes sense that some kind of Training and preparation would need to take place before giving any old ten year old a super-powered animal, lol.
“Alright, alright, it was just an idea,” he said, waving a hand impatiently. “I’m just saying if I failed the exam twice, that’s what I’d do—just take Ebony and leave. Though it would kinda suck not getting a starter.”
Oof. Twice? But she’s 14? How often can one take the exam?
“Heyy, that’s right—Charmander is the most popular Kanto starter. You might get stuck with Bulbasaur,” I said tauntingly.
EXCUSE ME, this is Bulbasaur slander and I will not stand for it :SCREM:
Every so I glanced up at the sky through the trees, hands drifting from the handlebars as my mind wandered back to the previous conversation.
Should be “every so often”. Missing an “often.”
I’d never had all that many friends, but it seemed like for each one that left, I always had someone still here. Starr had been the first to leave, five years ago. Then Ajia three years ago, then all the aspiring trainers in my year, and then everyone I knew in the year below me. I didn’t even want to be a professional trainer; I just wanted to go with them. First I screwed up by failing Pokéspeech so many times that I didn’t have enough credits the summer after I turned twelve. Then failing the test the summer after I turned thirteen. And now this year. The crushing feeling of seeing that failing score… for the second time.
Oh, so trainers start at 12 here! Makes sense to me. 12 sounds more reasonable than 10, lol. And ouch, failing the exam twice…I wonder what about the exams she failed, exactly? Is she just not a good test taker?
Swift gave a low string of chirps. This time they had meaning, and I knew at least enough Pokéspeech to catch the words, “*It’s bad… come see.*”
Not sure if the asterisks are the way you mark Pokespeech, or if they’re there as a reminder to italicize it or something? It’s just a tad hard to see and doesn’t immediately set it apart from regular speech.
I stopped dead. For whatever reason, I realized that the odor saturating the air was burning flesh. These woods had been filled with Pokémon, all of them now dead. My brain really had no idea how to process any of it. Who on earth expected to see something like this on an ordinary day?
Oh. OH MY. This story sure took a turn in the span of one paragraph. I love it
Suddenly, I heard a roar of engines to the right. A huge group of jeeps and trucks burst into the clearing, filled with countless armed adults. Entei recoiled backward, pelted by bullets—they were shooting it? The auburn beast slammed its shackled paws to the ground and let loose a wave of fire, incinerating everything within the valley. But then the flames cleared, revealing the vehicles’ protective energy shields. Around two dozen Pokémon charged forward from behind the jeeps, unleashing torrents of water at their target. Entei stood its ground with a determined glare, but I could still see it wincing in pain as steam poured off its body. I could still hear the fury in its roar as it tried to flee, gripped by the glow of something preventing its escape.
Oh WOW. Not gonna lie, reading about how Legendaries could get captured was one of the many things that drew me to LC. I didn’t expect to get to see a glimpse of it so soon! Don’t mind me while I just…scribble down notes.
“That’s why they’ve taken to capturing Legendary Pokémon. If the heads of the combat unit had Legendaries at their disposal, there would be no stopping them.” His tone was perfectly casual, as though Team Rocket being on the verge of a regional conquest was normal, everyday conversation.
Lol who is this guy?? He’s so nonchalant about all of this, and while he is opposing the Rockets, it’s hard to tell if he’s actually a good guy or not. Hmmm.
I turned back to the battle that was still continuing. Everything about it was completely mind-boggling. The ridiculously powerful fire beast was still struggling to ward off its attackers, but its strength was waning. I still wanted to help it somehow, even though I knew I couldn’t do anything. It was frustrating, and I felt stupid about it. With a sigh, I sat down and continued to watch.
This begs the question, though: what is Entei doing in Johto? I suppose the regions are right next to each other, so it’s probably not a stretch to say that the Johto legends occasionally roam over Kanto. But part of me wonders if there’s a more sinister reason for why Entei is here rather than its home region.
I’d been spotted. And they were coming for me.
Oh SNAP. What a way to end a chapter!! I love this a lot!

Chapter 2:
“No! No, stop, damn it—” I yelled, flailing as hard as I could, but it was no use. The Rocket flung open the back hatch and threw me into the rear of the jeep without saying a word. And then he climbed back into the front seat and drove off as though nothing had happened.
Wait wait but where is Charmander??
…oh, okay he’s still there. For a second it sounded like she didn’t have him in her arms anymore, with the word “flailing” being used.
I jumped suddenly at the sound of a gunshot and whirled around. My stomach melted into nothing—one of the Rockets pulled out a small handgun and began shooting at Swift. But then just as quickly, the driver held a hand up to stop him.
Jeez dude, have some chill, a pidgey isn’t going to do much all on its own. Also side note, but I enjoy seeing you have guns in your pokeworld. Helps me feel more at ease about having guns in mine, if I’m being honest! 😂
“Shortly after I left, it was looking like Entei was going to escape into the Tohjo Mountains. And then—you’re not gonna believe this—the Johto combat unit showed up,” Tyson reported while his superior made an exaggerated sound of disgust. “They took control of the situation, and of course one of their agents was the one who threw the ball that caught Entei. Only now he’s refusing to hand over; he’s waiting for orders from the Johto commander.”
Huh, I’m interested in this Johto combat unit. Are they Johto police? Are they in league with the Rockets, or perhaps competitors? Clearly they have connections with Giovanni if there’s any chance of them handing Entei over.
“Anyway, we’re almost ready to ship the experiments to the secondary headquarters for testing, along with the supplies and machinery.”
Experiments?! 👀👀👀
“Should I just kill her?” Tyson cut in, and my heart stopped.

“Well, if you’re convinced that she knows anything, it could be useful. But I don’t have time to question her, and I know none of the admins do.” Rather unexpectedly, he laughed.
This is an excellent say to show just how cold and merciless Team Rocket is without needing to spell it out or go over-the-top. Just chatting about whether or not to murder an innocent kid, as casually as you’d ask about the weather. That sure says a lot.
But then a few seconds later, I spotted Tyson walked back toward the jeep.
Typo: “walking” instead of “walked.”
After having found the money, the Rocket didn’t bother looking anything else I had in there and simply tossed the wallet into a bin with what I assumed were other stolen items.
Missing an “at” between “looking” and “anything.”
“Hello there,” he said. “It looks like I’m rescuing you. My name’s Spencer—I think we’re gonna be good friends.”

I blinked. I had about a million questions, but about the only thing I could say was, “What?”
Well! What an intro! 🤣 I love how sure of himself he is.
Spencer stepped aside, revealing a rather disgruntled Rudy standing in the cargo bay.

“How did you get here?” I asked, completely floored.
LOL WHAT I was not expecting that. I honestly thought we were never gonna see Rudy again!
I stared, impressed. “You guys snuck into a Rocket base? What was your plan?”

“No plan, really. Just kind of improvising, y’know?” Spencer said, laughing awkwardly. My face fell somewhat. Okay, so maybe my newfound ally wasn’t the most capable.
Ah yes. Sneaking into a crime gang’s base with no plan. Brilliant! Though it’s totally something a couple of reckless young teens would do, hah.
“Alright. You fix your Charmander, I’ll go see if I can find anything useful,” Rudy said, taking the opportunity to wander off. I could have sworn I heard him mumble, “We should totally set some of this junk on fire at least.”
Lololol Rudy is a real one. Please tell me he sticks around.
“Alright then,” I said. “So, are you male or female?” I wasn’t quite sure if this was an offensive question or not, but I wasn’t used to Pokéspeech enough to tell a Pokémon’s gender by its voice.
This line in particular made me realize just how many similarities there are between LC and TQFTL in the opening chapters. And I know you guys have talked about that in-depth on the server, but since I only just read and reviewed some TQFTL earlier today, it sure is something else to read the two stories almost side by side and seeing just how many similarities there are! I love it. :D
Experimental Pokémon 009: Hybrid series - Pikachu / Zapdos. Possesses abnormally high power level and untamable disposition. Experiment classified as failure due to undersized power capacity, unstable energy signature, and immunity to standard experiment control procedures.
A Pikados! A Zapchu! OMG ZAPCHU. Yes. That’s what it’s called now. I love this, ahahaha
“WHAT. THE. EVER. LIVING. HELL?!!

My stomach sank even lower as I turned to see an extremely pissed-off Tyson standing in the doorway to the cargo area, his jaw hanging open from shock.

“Uhh, hey…” Spencer said awkwardly. “Could you leave for a bit? We kind of have a situation here.”
Ahahahaha this line is GOLD. I didn’t have too many thoughts on him until this moment, but I love Spencer now.
“Thought you’d play with the hybrids did you?” Tyson asked with a sneer. “Then have fun facing the strongest of them. Kill them, Razors!”
Jeez, these Rockets do NOT PLAY. Also, hey, look! It’s my favorite Pokémon! It’s your favorite Pokémon!
Why yes, experiment number nine IS a ridiculous concept straight out of DeviantArt, thank you for asking. Please enjoy the fact that this overpowered shockrat with the dumbest possible name (to be revealed later) will be a major character throughout the entire rest of the fic.

Ahahahaha YES. I cannot WAIT. I wouldn’t want anything less!
 

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
  9. zorua
Here to review chapter 8!

Oh boy. Starting off with the emergency evacuation.

Firestorm helping Jade up made me smile.

OH.

Looks like a lot of people are dying here. And there's no lifeboats. Oh dear.

The description after the explosion was amazing! I could really feel Jade's sheer terror through the narration!

A huge, shadowy mass swept under me. Everything was dark, but this thing was dark enough to stand out… somehow. It slowly turned in my direction, and the only thing I saw was a pair of glowing blue eyes before it turned and dove further below me.

Was this Lugia? I think it's Lugia.

Rescue boats! Unfortunate that they're too late to save a lot of the passengers, though.

Rudy's here, and is another recruit! Surely nothing bad will happen to him.

It's nice to see Jade and Rudy joking around, despite the horrors that just happened.

So the dark shadow calmed the storm and dove into the water...yep, definitely Lugia.

Only fifty kids left.

I quite liked the part where everyone listened to Jade telling about her adventure on the ship. The surprise and interest of everyone, especially Rudy, was neat.

And here's Stalker. I'll be honest, he knows how to make a good speech.

First time Stalker is seen smiling is when mentioning training...ominous.

That was a great chapter! Extremely tense, great action, and just overall fun to read!

My favorite moment of the chapter was definitely the part in the ocean, where everyone who made it had abandoned ship. It was so vivid and descriptive and horrific, and I could really feel the sheer terror Jade was experiencing.

I'm excited to see how training goes, and how traumatized everyone is by what happened on the S.S. Anne.

Thank you for writing this! I look forward to reading more!
 

Ambyssin

Gotta go back. Back to the past.
Location
Residency hell
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. silvally-dragon
  2. necrozma-ultra
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. dreepy
  6. mewtwo-ambyssin
Blitzy New Year!
Disclaimer: This is mostly stream-of-consciousness thoughts. Take it as you will.

32
-I sure hope Indigo Plateau has air traffic control with the way you’re describing the crowd. :P
-Reminder that mew and espeon are both precious kitties and also it’s the perfect disguise b/c it’s so obvious no one will suspect it.
-Disappointed Rudy didn’t go for a “C you there” pun in his text.
-Man, crazy to think they had such high-tech phones in 1999.
-Your description of Indigo Plateau is far more like Wyndon Stadium in SwSh. Just think it’s funny it took this long for the games to finally treat battles like a big sporting event when fics have done it forever.
-Did kinda skim the filler fight with Rudy for the sake of my sanity, but shout outs to doing the hydraulic air jets thing for Pupitar… and Iron Miss living up to its namesake.
-You have Aros’ dialogue when he’s released in the same paragraph as Jade calling him out, FYI.
-Jade’s got too many x4 weaknesses on her team and Rudy’s having a field day with it. It’s almost like he prepared more for her than the tournament.
-Something about how casually Ajia treats winning the Silver Conference gives me big #humblebrag vibes.
-I mean, I know the story needs Team Rocket to do something eventually, but I do think having a murder cat skulking about ready to tear them to shreds gives them a big enough reason to lie low for a considerable amount of time.

33
-Well, I’m glad we skipped almost the entirety of the preliminary matches. Maybe in the past we’d have seen them written out, but that would’ve gotten tiresome to read through. (Also I’m not buying Jade’s excuse of age gaps making things too awkward. She just doesn’t want Starr around people who were formerly fighting her.)
-Fs out for Scizor. Death by a thousand cuts.
-This Lexx gets a 0/10. Not furbaity enough.
-And here I thought this league stuff would just be a bit of filler, but apparently not. My guess is the anti-legend stuff is trying to drum up some recruitment for Team Rocket to recoup from their losses thanks to Mewtwo? Make it easier for them to operate in the open or whatever? Not really sure what the Johto branch might gain from this, other than the possibility of people driving legends to pack it up and move closer to their territory.
-I had a bad feeling the attack would be happening very soon after Lexx dropped the hint, but I honestly thought they’d do it during the top cut. To, y’know, make some more noise. Unless the Johto branch is actually preempting the Kanto branch. Still, RIP filler arc.
-Also, it’s interesting now how you’re applying held items into this. Like, having Breloom carry a bag that somehow got Knocked Off. I just imagine Scizor bitch slapping it away like “Get that shit outta here!” And I can’t imagine a Choice Band would be very smart for fighting your version of Team Rocket.

34, but it’s April 1st
-IT’S GODZILLATRILUGIA. Have to wonder if the experiment number scheme having Mewtwo end in six and Trilugia with seven is a subtle Lilo & Stitch reference (626 vs. 627).
-Suddenly Lugia and Ho-Oh! And Lugia already wishes it was in an entirely different story. Alternatively, this is Lugia’s equivalent to “I’ve come to make an announcement! Giovanni is a bitch-ass motherfucker!”
-I can’t tell if Sebastian is just your shitposting or you’re vaguely hinting we may see a Lugiatwo and/or Shadow Lugia at some point in the future. Don’t look at me like that, you read Namo’s stuff. You might’ve decided to sneak bits of canon lore into your crack postings just to screw with your audience.
-... or maybe this version of Sebastion is from an earlier version of your fic? One that you regard as an old shame and are now proceeding to make fun of? The Giratina comment seems to confirm it. I guess that means this was from an early-to-mid 2000s draft? Damn, that’s old.
-Suddenly Dialga and Palkia! The latter is, fittingly, a giant dick. It almost feels like the narration for their scene is deliberately written poorly, like you want the reader to cringe. But at least this makes me realize my second guess about what was happening was right. I just can’t believe you had magical destiny shards in an earlier version.

34, but it’s real this time I swear
-Is the choice of moltres referencing the fact that it roosts in Victory Road in the games? Or, wait, is it under Rocket control or something? It’s been so long I might’ve forgottenJade keeps flashing back to Midnight Island because of a similar fire chicken-related incident, I believe?
-The narration is suitably frenzied here. I think that’s Lance on the dragonite; who else would it be? The two random Rocket people who show up vaguely bring Archer and Ariana to mind, even though they’re using Hoenn ‘mons and, for all I know, could be from some sort of Hoenn branch we’re now going to learn about.
-Why does everything have Ice Beam when Aros is out? Because the author hates you, Jade, that’s why! :V
-Try as you might to make it intimidating that Moltres is chasing down Jade, I still can’t take it seriously b/c Moltres looks like a big rubber chicken. Should’ve gone with Zapdos or Articuno. :P Also, I’m curious exactly how they can control Moltres with what appears to be a glorified dog whistle. The secret of their tech must be exposed eventually… for science.
-That said, it’s sticking with the overall tone of the fic to date that you offer a slight hope spot of Chibi zapping Moltres, only for it to eventually shrug things off and Jade to go careening down with Swift before (presumably) Lance’s dragonite steps in to stop her from becoming just a pancake on the ground.

35
-Indigo Rangers? Pah, you should’ve gone with “Kanto” for its two syllables. GO GO KANTO RANGERS!
-Oh, no Lance, then? Stupid Mew. At least we get verbal confirmation they are there in some capacity. Too cool to properly appear in the story, I suppose.
-Not gonna lie, I sincerely thought Raven and Ender would just be condenames or something, but seems they might actually be OCs. And not from Hoenn, either.
-Ranger Union, eh? So, do they have benefits? Do they vote to strike if they believe they’re not being treated fairly? What are the politics, dang it! >:V
-lmao everyone’s taking potshots at Jade as if she had a choice in dealing with the rubber chicken.
-See, if this fic wasn’t in-progress for twenty years, you could’ve done something cool like make Ajia the daughter of one of the Ranger game protags-- oh, wait, Uranium did that already. Never mind!
-“Is some kinda brainwashing plot gonna be your first guess?” [thinks about the real world and the countless people in America alone who’ve fallen down the conspiracy rabbit hole] Weeeeeeeelllll…
-Starr accusing Jade of actively trying to fight Rockets and the latter mentally acknowledging the instinct was there b/c the child soldier cannot separate themselves from the battlefield even after they’ve been away for a time.
-Ajia is clearly trying to dance around the subject that Jade’s gonna be Lugia’s chosen. And she’s doing a terrible job, as expected when you have another voice in your head. [Yuna screams in the distance.]
-Oh, hey, look I was right! Hi, Lugia!
-Side note: it’s always interesting to me when people deviate from Mew’s canonical depiction as a mischievous and whimsical being. Personally I tend to prefer that version to the more serious ones stories like this tend to go for, but that’s no fault of how you write Mew or anything. Just personal preference.

36
-It appears to be a sassy nature.
-I assume the legend that rushed in is Latios, who is now under Sebastian’s control.
-My guess is that legends benefitting from having humans at their side is supposed to be the logical extreme of the whole human-pokemon relationship and how it strengthens both parties.
-I mean, unfortunate child soldier parallels aside, Jade’s reasoning for bonding with Lugia is pretty reasonable. If she isn’t able to avoid Team Rocket short of faking her own death and going off the grid (which is what it sounds like), then why not give herself the best chance of making it through and protecting the people she cares about? You could argue the pact could put her in greater danger but, well, [gestures to the fic so far] that ship sailed.
-Hearing all this talk of world balance makes me wish you’d amended things to involve Zygarde since that’s kinda the big snek’s job. :P
-“What happened there? Did I just soultouch with a giant bird? Wait, this isn’t Avatar! The weird blue-skinned aliens one, not the Nickelodeon show everyone loves.” ~Jade, probably.
-Dang, that patron list is very RBYGSC heavy. It’s almost like this fic was started in 2002 or something! :V
-lmao mew just casually teleported her an entire region over. What are the limits on your teleporters, hmm?

37
-I think there’s enough back and forth between the dialogue and Jade’s inner monologue to sell her conflicted feelings over this whole affair.
-Yaaaaaaay, Latias! Best nyoooom dragon! <3 Of course, her brother’s been kidnapped, so that’s not so good. What is it with people writing fics about Team Rocket doing bad things to latis? Y’all are evil. >:(
-I had a feeling Rudy and Darren would get swept into this when Jade gave Rudy her location. In before one or both of them end up being a chosen b/c something something friendship and convenience. That and it’d be awfully late for you to introduce new characters with that level of importance.
-I like to imagine that while Starr is practicing her self-preservation skills and Ajia’s scheming with Kari, an invisible Latias is just prowling around, taking notes for when she writes her own fan fic version of this stuff.
-I forgot Jade had a floatzel. It seems so out of place. XD
-Aww, look at this big friendship moment with these not-even-remotely cuddly pokemon. Seriously, half of Jade’s team is edgelords. They give Shadow the Hedgehog a run for his money.
-Lugia talking about their “connection” is just making me think of those old “Can you hear me now? Good.” Verizon ads.
-Lugia, your comedy routine needs work.

38
-I am perfectly fine with Latias staying AWAY from the violence.
-It’s been a while since I’ve read a fic that leans on the speeds the Dex mentions pidgeot are capable of. Actually, I’m pretty sure the only one I’ve glanced at before that did that was Ashes of the Past, and said pidgeot apprenticed to Lugia. Funny coincidence.
-Wait, did Jade destroy the ball she caught Lugia with? Because, like, wouldn’t a decent countertrap have been to just give Lugia a ball to stash in one of its homes so it can’t be caught again? Feels like a pretty significant oversight if they had a bad feeling they were walking into a trap. ;>_>
-Interesting depiction for how Gengar’s Curse works. At least, that’s what it looks like. Also curious that Jade seems to have no idea what the attack is or does. Guess they didn’t cover that in her training, huh? :V
-The rest of the chapter is more desperate fighting and while I do like that the objective isn’t necessarily to win but to get Moltres’ ball, in the end it does still come down to a lot of pokemon clashes that I did wind up skimming a bit. I suppose Raven’s mons are here to up the threat level for Jade, so to speak, and show her what happens where there isn’t the hesitation we see with Starr. Never seen a honchkrow just fade into shadows like that. I feel like that’d be more appropriate for a ghost but, hey, it’s your fic. The Articuno gambit was a good one, but my favorite moment is, of course, Latias swooping in to save the day and accomplish the original objective, even if they couldn’t get Articuno, too.

39
-[sees title card] do you mean to tell me the most hotheaded character gets chosen by Moltres? [gasp] Who could’ve possibly seen this coming other than the guy who predicted it earlier in this review? Perhaps Darren, given his more subdued attitude, will end up chosen by Articuno?
-Watch the mystery orb actually be, like, the Lustrous Orb or something and Jade’s gonna use it to get Palkia’s help in some sort of decisive clash. yes i know that doesn’t work with the fic being predominantly pre-sinnoh but hey anything can happen.
-Is Starr noping out b/c she doesn’t want to get desensitized… or b/c she thinks Moltres might somehow recognize her and torch her on sight?
-Wouldn’t two giant birbs showing up in the middle of the forest suddenly cause some sort of commotion? For all they know Rocket spies could’ve been tailing them… somehow.
-This many chapters in I must confess I’m not a big fan of the “dragon-bird” epithet for Lugia. It kinda feels like something you settled on in desperation to avoid coming off as too redundant, but just using Lugia feels like it’d read less awkwardly to me. “Dragon-bird” just makes me think of some of the cringy epithets used by younger and/or novice authors. It’s like calling Bowser a dragon-turtle.
-Rudy: Human souls are strong! We’ve got DETERMINATION on our side. (Darren: Wrong series, idiot.)
-I find it a bit strange Ho-Oh seems to be doing more of the conversing with Moltres when most canon shows Lugia as the one keeping the birbs in line.
-If Ho-Oh and Lugia showing up didn’t do it, Moltres battling Rudy should’ve attracted attention. I at least like Rudy’s line acknowledging his big past mistake. Character development!
-[gasp] IT’S GODZILLA! … for reals this time!

But that's it for me for now.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. lucario-shiny
  5. incineroar-starr
HENLO EVERYONE IT'S BEEN 3000 YEARS

I fell into a Blacklight hole for a year! Starr got lots of attention and development and I enjoyed it a lot! Unfortunately, I have discovered that my fic won't write itself. 😔

Chapters 46-50 did get posted offsite throughout the past year but it's high time I brought them here as well. I'll be aiming to get them crossposted at the rate of one per week until TR is caught up with the other sites, and by then Chapter 51 should be done as well.

In other news, I'm knee deep in a big revision to the first five chapters to the fic! (With smaller edits to some of the following chapters to fix some minor issues with the S.S. Anne arc.) Overall the new material will make everyone sound more like themselves and more smoothly introduce the world. Of note, the Pokemon characters needed a lot more flavor and presence in the early chapters, and there were some glaring ethics fails with the starter Pokemon system.

The new Prologue is already up and I'll be putting a changelog in the OP of the thread. Also, Chapters 5-7 are finally, finally getting the Jade/Ajia/Starr childhood flashbacks that everyone and their mom wanted! I'll be sticking one at the beginning of each chapter exactly like Broken Things because I have no shame. I'll probably also post them separately so caught-up readers don't have to go back and hunt them down.

Now for some specific replies. (Blitz review replies coming over the weekend, this is just cleaning shop from the past year!)

Which is like! not the main focus of this fic, and I get it; we don't ask about Aragorn's tax policy and this isn't the time and place to question the ethical ramifications of legal representation; this is about beeg birds having a slapfight and Jade buying a nice lollipop for her goose friend. But this is a story about agency, and choice, and being cast to follow rules that someone else made a long time ago that say what your destiny is supposed to be, so I did find this tiny aside in this footnote/extra chapter particularly fascinating.
Sooooo.... I know this is me activating a trap card, but would you believe that this question is actually pretty central to the plot? xD I can't say toooo much, but the short answer is that Pokemon made the training pact in LC. So it's heavily skewed in their favor... but it was written under the assumption that the only reason a Pokemon would enter human society would be to use humans as a tool to get stronger. Otherwise they'd just... stick with Pokemon society. As a result, it falls short particularly for Pokemon born into human society who don't want to enter Pokemon society. And there might be a few of those in the fic. :)

(I've been affectionately referring to chapters 50-55 as the "Suddenly Politics" arc.)

This felt vaguely hollywood hacker to me--most computers that hold secret data like this aren't hooked into any sort of publicly accessible network, traffic is highly monitored, nothing just goes out on the wifi, etc.
This is one of those "gets better later on" things when it's revealed that the guy who did the hacking is actually part of Rocket network security and already intimately familiar with their systems. An outsider definitely wouldn't have been able to get access.

There's definitely a central question of like, what to trainers add to these fights, especially since a large portion of the main good-guy Pokemon cast (basically everyone except Swift and Firestorm at this point) are both capable of and seemingly prefer fighting without a human trainer. So trainers contribute the strategy?
This is something that prooobably won't come up much in the fic proper, and is mostly relegated to my worldbuilding rambles. In LCverse, there are differences between human and Pokemon cognition. Pokemon tend to be ill-suited to abstraction, complex problem solving, high-level math, creativity, reverse engineering, things like that. It varies between species, but that's the general trend. However! It's offset by the fact that Pokemon are near-universally extraordinarily good at communication. They learn languages scary-fast, can pick up on social cues, nonverbal communication, indirect communication near-effortlessly. It started as an adaptation to make interactions between multiple species of Pokemon easier (since Pokemon can reproduce across species lines) and then ended up being a dominant selection pressure almost on par with battling, to the point that communication is the reason they evolved sapience.

Now, Chibi is a notable exception due to the weirdness of being part-Legendary. But if someone like Aros tries to claim that he's better at strategy without a human, he's talking out the ass. :P

didn't expect to see this here! what *are* Pokemon supposed to think about then/
A lot of wild Pokemon societies treat scientific wonder as a human thing (derogatory)

stalker is just sitting in the corner with a pair of binoculars and a cuneiform tablet trying to see who will read his cool poems tbh
headcanon accepted

I didn't feel entirely grounded in Jade's first-person POV. She's forced by necessity to be passive a fair bit, but when the time comes for her to make some major choices (becoming an illegal trainer, going to Stalker's ship party) they didn't feel quite justified to me from what we'd seen of her so far. The place I felt this most was in the time-skip. Three-weeks is a long time to keep a character in what felt to me like stasis, and still have them feel like an organic person, versus someone waiting for the plot to start up again.
I am pleased to report that I will be adding a lot, lot more detail to the timeskip! Exploring what characters get up to outside the plot is definitely a weakness of mine, so I'm glad to finally be fleshing this out (I also shortened the timeskip). Jade and Swift spent a lot of time at the library! Jade reads out loud to him a lot. Firestorm found this incredibly boring and insisted on watching matches at the gym every other day. They visited lots of parks and explored a bit of Diglett's Cave. I have also added the crucial detail that Jade mostly ate instant ramen, because I was a freshman in college once. :V

I think you mentioned that you don't want Jade to have any special qualities, for her to be the most ordinary possible, but a completely ordinary person doesn't really exist outside of parody--we still need to have a sense of who this person is, what motivates them. Madoka Magica features a similar set-up to what you have here--an ordinary girl, whom circumstance is nudging into someting bigger and more terrible than herself.
I'm really glad you mentioned Madoka, because I'm going for a lot of similar themes. As I've gotten further in the fic, I've gotten a much, much better grasp on what makes Jade tick, and I'm looking forward to making the early chapters reflect that.

I wanted a bit more of a sense of Lugia's emotions, personality, what's prompting its rise from the sea beyond this generalized sense of The Time Is Nigh. I've gotten the sense from the art and excerpts you shared in discord that your legendaries have some funky and larger-than-life personalities--would have been great to get a taste of that in the prologue, since it acts as a sampler for the fic.
Giving Lugia more personality was a major goal of my Prologue rewrite, especially now that I've actually written Lugia in the main body of the fic. I also finally made something to happen that kicks Lugia into gear, as opposed to The Time Is Nigh. xD

Oh wow, three year age difference? I'm surprised they're friends, honestly--I remember three years being huge at that time of life. Wish I had a bit more of a sense of how they got to know each other.
This will be one of the priorities of some of the flashbacks I'll be adding! (Basically everyone wanted to see more of the Jade/Ajia/Starr friendship, and it's not hard to see why.) They're loosely based on a friend group I had as a kid and the age gaps were the same! The short version is that Ajia is only a grade higher than Jade so it wasn't too hard for them to meet. Starr's younger brother Lexx is in the same class as Ajia, so that's how they met.

Also, the whole thing with the charmander bothered me. It kind of boggles my mind that she picks up this dying, clearly in great pain pokemon, and then procedes to forget about it in favor of exposition and then just sitting down to watch the Entei capture like she's in a movie theater, while, presumably, the charmander is breathing raggedly in her arms?
So, funny story about this. The original draft of this scene had barely any detail about Firestorm's condition and what it was like picking him up, etc. A reader pointed that out, so I added a bunch more detail, but it had the side effect of making it really glaring that she carries him around in that condition for so long. I finally realized that I could fix this by... *drumroll* ...putting him in a Pokeball. :V

So yeah, now she just puts him in a Pokeball. Which also let me slip in a moment where Jade feels conflicted about it because it's taboo to catch a Pokemon without their consent (with obvious exception for matters of life and death).

I wish we learned a bit more about what it means to be an unregistered trainer. She can't use pokemon centers, but can she purchase pokemon supplies? Can she battle? What are the consequences if she's caught? I would have liked to get more of a sense of how she's spending that time.
Another priority for the revisions!

The way this is a described right now, it feels like Jade is running around in an empty ship, sparsely populated with Team Rocket members, methodically grabbing bombs and disposing of them. But . . . this is a full cruise ship, right? Has she really not passed any normal people in all this running, or on the upper deck? A moment where Jade has to dodge some fellow passengers in the hallway, or has to push between people enjoying a view of the water, would make this seuqnece feel more grounded to me, and make the cruise ship feel less like an obsctacle course, and more like a cruise ship.
Yeahh, I really wasn't satisfied with how that sequence played out. My solution to this was to relegate the action to the lower decks only, and dramatically cut down the amount of time she spent running around gathering up 4987932 bombs.

Love that Jade wishes she'd gone with Ajia even though she can't know how it would have gone. I somehow doubt that Ajia would have been able to give her the same value of experience as the Rebellion (for all that the Rebellion damaged her), and Ajia sure seems like the sort of person to be incautious about Jade's safety in the name of mad plans. AU where they travelled together and got captured due to Ajia's overconfidence in Jade's rookie abilities, that sounds delightfully painful.
I really like thinking about this AU because it's one that very easily could have happened. I think it would have involved less trauma for Jade but she ultimately wouldn't have gotten as strong. Also of note--the Rebellion wouldn't have been as effective because it was Jade's personal connection to the experiments and her desire to help them that secured their help for Stalker's team.

Ajia holy shit are you gonna blackmail Starr into leaving? Apparently. This sucks because she's removing Starr from a terrible situation where she has no agency (child soldier), via a terrible situation where she has no agency (framed as traitor), to put her in a terrible situation where she has no agency (on the run from Super Mafia).
~Problem solver, here to solve problems with or without permission~ :quag:

"It was my choice" no it fucking wasn't, you WALNUT. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AGENCY. YOU WERE A MINOR BEING COERCED BY AN ARMED CABAL LED BY YOUR FATHER. YOU FUCKING MORON. Anyway my heart is breaking for Starr. She really does believe that her life is her own.
I really enjoyed just how hard everyone (especially Dave) tried to hammer this point home in Blacklight.

Starr volunteering that description of her social life is pretty rough... Even though she admits she couldn't trust anyone, she still talks about having plentiful social interaction and the opportunity to 'fool around' as being a desirable thing. But I know that as a very young executive, all her relationships, if they even qualify as that, were probably sketchy as fuck. Even if they'd been with miraculously decent Rockets, who weren't sickeningly exploitative of her, they still represented a threat to her strength and a risk of attachment, of weakness, of slipping up. I don't believe for a second that Starr had a single healthy intimate moment with another Rocket during her time there and I am miserable about the implications of what sshe's saying. I'm desperate for her to have a real friendship with someone who actually cares about her. Oh gods.
I just really liked this breakdown because it was pretty much exactly what I was going for and I'm just really glad that it came across right (and it's also fun to come back to post-Blacklight.)

"Forced out of us" is a great line. I'm a huge fan of this kind of indirectly brutal communication, the way Jade can say something with no explicit link to the awful experience they're trying to move away from and still be saying "the reason you couldn't get useful information out of me by electrocuting me repeatedly was because I was a child and nobody trusted me with useful information." She's saying "you tortured me for nothing." It really hurts my heart, like everything in this fic lately!
Well now you've broken my heart too because I didn't think of that

Stalker's departing words are very interesting. What a manipulator! Bet he thinks he can still get his claws in Jade by appealing to her need to be considered significant.
Way to cut right to the heart of Jade's psyche ;3

Love the banter between these three. The dynamic feels complete. It's like the story's been waiting to reunite them this whole time. I love each of them anyway, but bouncing off each other is a total delight. Aaaaaa!
:veelove: Can't wait to bring all three gorls to Heartache~

Team Rocket will attack the League, huh? My running theory is that when 'the war' happens, it'll be open conflict between humanity and the Legendaries, with Team Rocket heading up humanity. You said before that 'treason' was foreshadowing. I'm sure that the Chosen are going to find themselves fugitives not only from Team Rocket but from legitimate authority in due time.
so anyway this is fun to come back to now that chapter 50 is out

But now that I've had some time to think on it, I think my real answer is that Legendarian Chronicles gives me the vibe of "old" pokemon - the more down-to-earth, realistic feel Kanto and Johto offered that has slowly been slipping away into a more high fantasy tone ever since Gen III released. It very much feels like a product of that 2003ish era, which makes sense - I think you've said LC is like 15 or so years old?
It is very much a product of its time, and I wouldn't have it any other way. ^^ But at the same time, there are a fair number of elements in Gens 4-6 that ended up being incredibly important. Long development times will do that.

I think I begin to get legit bored around the time Aija arrives and we're just watching her and her team fight off the rockets while she trades strategy bullet points with Jade. At that point I think I've seen enough of the Rocket battle to get the overall point, but I also get the feel that you're trying to deliver all the opening exposition and lacing it with the battle so people don't notice as much.
Yep, one of my goals for revising chapter 4 has been to really streamline things there because hoo boy chapter 4 was boring.

Honestly, when Jade and Chibi first found out that Rockets were on the ship and rigging it to explode with engines, the conclusion I jumped to was that Stalker had set this up as a test to determine whether the trainers he was hiring were serious about this. And... honestly, I'm still not sure that isn't the case.
Honestly... I can't blame you for wondering that. There's definitely a case to be made there, even if it wasn't my intent, and it doesn't quite fit his character.

And from Darren's comment about how the town is run by Team Rocket, it feels like the Pokemon League would crack down on that... if they actually care. Because now that I think about it, I don't really know tbh. TR seems to have its claws in the league anyway, so... IDK.
:copyka2: Put a pin in this for later.

So LC being a 'chosen one' story doesn't really bug me that much; in fact, I didn't even really blink until you specifically mentioned it in the summary.
Ahh, I'm probably too used to the old days where there was a significant danger of readers bailing the instant the word "chosen" came up in a trainerfic.

It was obviously hard for Jade, who was literally traumatized by the affair, probably permanently - but thinking on it, it was probably so much worse for Starr. Can you imagine having to repeatedly torture one of your childhood friends for information? I honestly couldn't. And by no means is it a noble or good thing, but... god that probably took every inch of willpower from her.
~Torturers get traumatized too~ :unquag:

Trouble is on its way, and it comes in the form of Lexx from the Chapter 24 Extra. He's an asshat who works for Sebastian and is apparently related to Starr and is also apparently playing every single side because he sold out his own Father to Ajia and then considered selling out Ajia to Giovanni and now apparently sold out to Sebastian.
This is the funniest description of Lexx and I'm dying.

The Legendaries' Chosen Ones. So far, it's Ajia and Jade who have been Chosen by Mew and Lugia, respectively, and I don't really know how to feel about Lugia yet. So far it seems like it's open to the prospect of being friendly with Jade - which, I mean, it's just bonded for life with her so yeah, probably a good idea - but at the same time it doesn't seem very concerned about whether or not she dies or lives or anything. We've only really seen a bit of it yet but I don't get very altruistic vibes off Lugia. It feels... selfish, and I have a feeling that's gonna come out to play sooner or later.
These two sure have a long way to go in their relationship, that's for sure. Good thing there's plenty of time~

For instance, the attack on Midnight Stadium probably could have been accomplished much more covertly by a sneak-attack squadron, a few guns, and some cleverly-placed arson. They didn't have to go the whole nine yards and use Moltres out in the open where there are clearly Rockets there anyway.
This is probably one of my biggest regrets with that chapter--the Rockets really should have gone for stealth.

And honestly, there has to be a cooldown phase somewhere that's a bit more than just three or so chapters. I know I said that I thought the opening was a bit too slow-paced but if we segued straight into another huge legendary destruction setpiece from here I think I'd have to put this down for a bit again just so I can recuperate and stuff.
The Hoenn arc was definitely an outier as far as nonstop action goes, since it was a marathon that served to thoroughly exhaust the characters. There are going to be a lot of cooldown chapters afterward.

Poor Skarmory... and Jet, although Jet was really just asking for it with all her recklessness. Although, I have to wonder: Jade and Darren had nine months of peace, and Protect can't be that hard a move to get. Why did neither pokemon ever learn it, just in case?
It pretty much just didn't come up. Neither of them did much double battling in that time, and there were never any instances where they needed it, so it was easy to slip through the cracks.

I wonder what Steven meant when he said "I'm sorry to hear that", though. I mean, obviously being paired with a legendary isn't all sunshine and sunflora, but he makes it sound like he knows something the other legendaries are keeping from Jade and co. Maybe something to do with the prophecy? Last I checked, Steven had a thing for archeology...
Mostly just him acknowledging that it sucks for kids to be stuck with the weight of the world on their shoulders like this.

so jade is in johto now, with four badges no less. four badges in eight months is pretty good time, although i guess her team is already trained up—i guess that means a pokémon journey would take around two years for the average trainer? it's always interesting seeing how people interpret the journey. despite being such a central component of the world's lore, it's surprisingly open to interpretation.
Jade was taking things pretty dang slow, and not really speedrunning the gyms. Plus I like to headcanon gym challengers as usually spending a bit of time training at the gym, getting tips and sparring with the junior trainers for a while before actually taking on the leader.

i'm enjoying the potential Plot Threads getting opened up towards the end... hopefully that means mewtwo will return! i think mewtwo has some cool stuff going on with, like, personhood/being used as a tool and whatnot. excited to see where that goes.
It's funny that I'm replying to this right after publishing the Mewtwo chapter (and after teasing Negrek about Mewtwo's return for years, lol)

these last few chapters have been a little slow but i feel like i'm always asking for slow chapters so that's not the worst thing. at any rate it looks like we're about to get back into the thick of it and i am definitely looking forward to it! seems like this won't be as high-stakes as the last big confrontation, but i'm sure it'll drag up a lot of those memories regardless.
Let's seeee, you left off on 33, so... oh, yeah. Jade's gettin' dragged back into the plot lmao.

Jet is a very good fren who deserves all the hugs and praises. And I don't quite get how four badges take eight months when she can fly between Blackthorn and Olivine, pretty much the full region apart, within an afternoon. Has she really spent that much time training? Even half-heartedly getting eight badges should be easy if you're just flying across the region and skipping the routes.
Jade is half-assing her journey, confirmed.

WAIT. WAIT. HOLD UP A MINUTE. YOU SKIPPED A BADGE. THERE WAS A BADGE FIGHT AND YOU DIDN'T SHOW IT. HOW DARE YOU. THIS BREAKS ALL THE RULES. I ONLY KEPT READING BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD READ ABOUT THE BLACKTHORN FIGHT. AND THEN YOU JUST. DIDN'T. WHO DOES THAT.
🚔🚔🚔
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

Unless Sebastian didn't teach "Jade" at all, because the time skip is meant to obscure the obvious Heart Swap between Jade and Stracion that means that the latter is actually the narrator and protagonist from this point on.
why would you reveal my secrets like this

I'd kind of forgotten that Jade was way younger than Starr and Ajia. How were they friends again? I'd figured it was a classroom thing since they probably weren't neighbors. I don't remember Jade's family being too well off and Giovanni probably wouldn't want to live in the poors neighborhood, much less next to a ranger family.
backstory~

All three of them go to a private school, Ajia lives right next to the school, Jade and Starr live a fair bit further away. Ajia is only a year ahead of Jade so they share some electives. Lexx is in the same year as Ajia and they're pals, otherwise Starr probably never would have met the other two. All of this was shamelessly lifted from my own childhood and will be mentioned in the flashback scenes that are totally coming I swears.

I'm not sure that I fully understood this chapter so I'm afraid that I have to summarize. Basically, Lugia invites someone to their damp cave in order to link their souls and pledge commitment to each other until death do them part. Did I get all that right? In any case, good clean fun. Would recommend.
:T

Thought you were telling me the rules. And if you set up a rule and then break it, how are you any better than the Rockets? Come to think of it, you are the one putting your characters through hell... maybe you are the final enemy. The author. This story is just a longform explanation of why I should hate Chibi Pika, the author, not the pokemon, unless they are one and the same.
but are you powerful enough to strike me down

Anyway, this has been The Correct Thoughts on the back third of LC. I am not accepting criticism at this time.
how does it feel, being the only one to see the Truth

I know I've already talked about LC with you a million times over but I like responding to stuff anyway. :>

More interesting phrasing to analyze! Obligated to seek out those interlopers deemed to have the strongest connection to both the conflict, to the other interlopers, and to themselves. And among other things and You have connected yourself with the legends as few others of that rebellion have. That has got to be referring to Jade picking up the Griseous Orb, right? I can't think of what else Jade in particular has done that connects her with the legends, besides that and trying to capture Lugia. That, perhaps, is what gives her the strongest connection to the conflict?
She was also involved with freeing Mewtwo! And rescuing Chibi (he may only be a half-legend, but there's still some significance there.) Helping Ajia and Mew was a big one. The Orb... should be considered a nonfactor in the chosen pact.

I N F I N I T Y H A S N O E N D

(but seriously, though, I refuse to believe you would use the word infinity without it meaning something)
: )

calling it Lugia dies and this is how Jade realizes
: )

This bit of Lugia not wanting to reveal this thing that Jade already knows for the space of just a few paragraphs feels so pointless I'm convinced it has to be significant somehow. The most obvious thing it could be about, characterizing Lugia, seems kind of off - I'm not sure at all what about Lugia's character I should be taking away from this. So what if there's plot significance, what if Mew is lying about this too to everyone and Lugia knows but Mew's just convinced it that it's REALLY important its lies not be contradicted
Yeahh, I think I was just trying to make Lugia come off as contrary, but now multiple people have been thrown off by that bit, so I'm thinking I should nix it.

I still love the concept of people being chosen by legendaries because they did things that made them want to select them. It seems so mundane and obvious now and didn't exactly stick out on the reread but it's obviously hugely important and central to the story's themes.
Part of me worried that it was going to come off as too mundane, and that maybe I'd hyped people up that there really was this big grand important reason, but I'm so glad it went over so well. It really is the core of what this entire fic is about.

I don't get the sense that she was ever super close to a lot of Jade's team, unless I missed something... there are plenty of examples in media of strangers or rivals who pass through fire together and come out of it closer, but that sort of experience could so, so easily swing the other way and make a person do some serious second-guessing. Or possibly be in denial about that second-guessing.
Jet was perfectly happy to pal around with them in the early book 2 chapters. But then everyone instantly reverted back to Fighting Rockets Mode, and now they're all serious business and not fun anymore, and it's much, much easier for her to focus on feeling salty about that than it is for her to acknowledge that her first Rocket fight was actually horrible.

I just love getting to see legendaries as people, people who want and do things beyond just "protect whatever element", who interact with other legendary-people in a way that isn't just "council of the gods" or "stand ominously and be enigmatic at each other" or whatever. I want more of all of these, damn it.
:D I'm glad you're here for that, because there's obviously going to be a lot more of it from here on out.

(I remain intrigued over the role Mewtwo's going to play in this story...) (me coming back to this review in December and looking at that parenthetical like "omg")
This was fantastic to read, ngl.

One last brief note--there were a couple things in this chapter that stuck out to me that I knew were responses to previous reviews. The flight harness being one, the "why doesn't Lugia get a pokéball" being another. It was a bit strange for me to see them here, because it felt weird for them to be coming up now, rather than back in the chapters where those questions were raised.
Aha, well, you're half right! Truth be told, I did want to emphasize just how weird and awkward it is to ride Lugia compared to Swift or Firestorm, so wishing for a harness was more relevant here than in the older chapters. But the Pokeball thing has actually been a long time coming. Since... 2006. :'D It's setting up for a plot point that I thought I was being a little bit heavy-handed with, admittedly. (You can NEVER EVER catch a pokemon that already has a pokeball ok this has NEVER happened in canon.)

I really enjoyed Jade kind of recognizing the legends as people for the first time here, as well as realizing how lost and burdened Lugia is itself. While I think at the same time Lugia was learning to see Jade as a person for the first time!
Aaaaa I really like this way of putting it! They're both definitely still getting used to seeing the other as people. They've got a long way to go, but they're trying.

You KNOW I'm here for the return of Mewtwo!
IT MEWTWO

The little bit at the beginning of the chapter with Darren was super interesting to me! I've always felt like I don't have a great understanding of the guy and where he fits into the rest of the story. He's the calmest and most mature of the main cast, and as he points out here, the one most likely to do, say, <i>actual research</i> and generally the smarter stuff. But he's always been in the background a bit, disconnected from the rest. I'm really curious what his ultimate role is going to be! Is he going to end up with a legendary companion, too? He's on the fic poster, after all! I'm still kind of waiting for the moment when he steps out into the spotlight, although that's clearly not where he wants to be.
Yeah, he's definitely been a tough nut to crack. I've sort of settled in on a mixture of deadpan snarker, Only Sane Man, and foil to Rudy's shortsightedness. He will be getting a bit of special focus in the next arc, so hopefully that'll help.

Let Mewtwo have friends, Chibi! Let Mewtwo have friends.
Maybe someday. ;3

To everyone else, even if I didn't have anything in particular to say in reply, thanks so much for all the support throughout the past year! Special thanks to Tetra for the thoroughly entertaining liveblog of the entire fic--the slowly changing opinion of Starr over time was a lot of fun to watch (wish we coulda done more Koastarr RP!)

Also, I just wanted to quote this because it never fails to make me laugh:
I feel like something's up with Stalker. He seems really suspicious.
1641343493610.png

That's all for now! Early chapter rewrites will be rolling out throughout the week and I'll be sure to post the Jade/Ajia/Starr flashbacks separately once they're done. For now, it's time to get back on track with crossposting!
 
Chapter 46: Meeting with the Commander

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. lucario-shiny
  5. incineroar-starr
I've been waiting a long, long time for this one. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



~Chapter 46: Meeting with the Commander~

jF9ILYP.png

The aftermath passed by in a blur of sights and sounds that didn’t fully register in my head. I saw Groudon and Kyogre slowly making their way back to the cave. Lugia, Ho-oh, and Mew escorted them. Steven Stone said some things to us. Ajia talked with him a lot. We followed him down to the crowded docks where the Magmas and Aquas were helping the evacuees. Tabitha video called Maxie to update him, and Archie stole the tablet at one point, shouting boisterously. Ships came and went; teleporters regularly blinked in and out near the designated jump point. Even with the disaster over, tons of people were clamoring to get off the island, and I could hardly blame them.

At some point we found ourselves inside the Pokécenter on the southern shore of the island. We were finally able to drop off our teams for healing—out of everyone, Skarmory, Alakazam, and Aerodactyl were in the worst shape. Jet technically didn’t have that many wounds, but… I still worried about her. After how badly she’d been shaken up by the Aqua fight…

I sat there in a daze, staring numbly at the wall, my hair tangled to hell, my skin sunburnt, clothes stiff from salt, shoes full of sand. I had the urge to get up, to walk around, to help, to do something, but I couldn’t muster the will. Not after everything that had happened. Not with how little energy I had left in me. It was a wonder I’d managed to keep going this long.

Ajia and Steven were just finishing up their conversation in the middle of the Pokécenter lobby. I decided to actually try listening to it as opposed to letting the words bounce off my ears.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you some way of contacting me,” Steven said. “This Legendary business… I suspect there’s a lot more to it than I’m aware. I understand if you’re not comfortable speaking to me about it, but—”

“It’s fine,” Ajia said quickly. “I know we’re probably not gonna hear the end of what happened here today.”

They exchanged Pokégear numbers and Steven paused there with a hesitant look on his face. Like there were a dozen questions he wanted to ask, but he couldn’t bring himself to impose. In the end, he settled on, “Take care,” before turning and walking outside.

Ajia sat down on the couch next to me, looking pensive. A shadow had fallen over her usual bright, energetic air. For some time, she just sat there in silence, drumming her fingers on her knees.

“She said that it might be a few hours before she’s recovered enough energy to teleport us all the way home,” Ajia said offhandedly, and it took me a second to realize who she was talking about. This was the first time I’d properly registered just how far Mew had brought us. Hoenn and Kanto weren’t all that close—it was something like a 6-hour train ride. Teleporting clear to another region was literally unheard of.

“I’m not really worried about getting home all that soon,” I admitted. “Besides, we could always just find another way home. There’s probably a ferry.” Although… most ships in and out of the area were most likely delayed from the disaster. Maybe we could fly to Lilycove, and then… well, maybe it didn’t matter right now.

Ajia shook her head softly. “Mew doesn’t want to inconvenience us any more than she already has. She just needs a rest.”

I stared blankly. “It’s not that big an inconvenience.”

“That’s what I told her. But no, she wants to teleport us home, she just needs a rest now.”

Mew, insisting on helping everyone even though she was so clearly overwhelmed. Almost like…

With perfect timing, Ajia said, “I sometimes worry that I’m asking too much of her.”

I gave her a serious look. “She was asking a lot of you too.”

Ajia smiled weakly. “I have to help Mew, though. It’s my job to support her. However I can.”

“I dunno. I think it’s okay if you can’t always do that,” I mumbled. But was I only saying that because I wasn’t close with my patron? Things would probably be different if I were friends with Lugia the way that Ajia and Mew were.

…Yeah. If I were in her situation, I’d almost certainly be feeling the same thing.

“It’s what I signed up for. I can’t back down now,” she said quietly.

It was weird hearing her voice the same doubts that had been plaguing me all day. Weird to realize that maybe she was just as overwhelmed by it all as me. No matter how much she seemed in control.

The Pokécenter doors slid open and in walked Starr, looking every bit as tired and irritated as when she’d left to go on a walk earlier. With a heavy sigh, she flopped down onto the couch in between me and Ajia.

“Y’know what I could go for right now?” Starr announced.

I shrugged. “Sleep?”

She gave me a sideways glance. “Well, I was gonna say a week-long bubble bath, but sure, let’s go with that.” She exhaled long and slow, idly tapping her boots against the edge of the couch. “So this shit is life from now on, huh? No getting around it.”

Ajia blanched. “I wasn’t trying to drag you in, I swear.”

Starr waved an arm like she didn’t want to hear it. “Calm down, not everything’s about you, jeez.” She leaned her head back against the sofa so that she was staring at the ceiling. “I always just kinda brushed this stuff off or tried not to think about it, or figured that that was so far in the future that it basically didn’t matter. Not like I’d ever see it.”

Something flickered across Ajia’s expression, and she opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it.

“God, I just… hate everything about this,” Starr said bitterly, clenching her fists. “Why should you two have to risk your lives like this? It’s not fair.”

“It’s not like we’re being forced,” Ajia said reassuringly. “We did agree to it. It’s our job.”

“It shouldn’t have to be your job,” Starr snapped. “Make the stupid Legendaries save their own damn skins.”

Ajia clasped her hands in her lap, considering her words carefully. “If it helps, we’re not just doing it for them,” she said gently. “It’s for everyone’s sake.”

“I know, I know,” Starr said, waving a hand dismissively. “Really wish you’d be a little more selfish sometimes so I wouldn’t have to look like a dick.” She exhaled slowly, rubbing her temples. “I don’t even know where I’m going with any of this, I just…” She put an arm around each of our shoulders. “All in favor of moving to Unova?”

Ajia laughed. “Unova? Do you even know much Galarian?”

Starr snorted. “Nah. Figure anywhere’s better than here though. Anyway, there’s three of us. Aren’t triples the big format over there? We enter a few tournaments, kick some ass, make a ton of cash, get lots of fans… sounds like a plan to me.”

I couldn’t help chuckling a bit. Well, it was a nice thought at least.

Starr glanced between me and Ajia. “Yeah, I’m sure the moment we did, someone would start causing shit with the legends over there, if they aren’t already. And you two can’t exactly up and leave, so… guess I’m stuck here dealing with this mess whether I like it or not.”

“There’s nothing saying you have to be a part of it too,” I mumbled, doing my best to avoid her eyes.

Starr let out an exasperated sigh. “Jade, don’t be an idiot,” she said, tightening her arm around me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mew teleported us back to Kanto later that evening. Spirits weren’t exactly high. Not with two more Legendaries captured and Sootopolis City wiped from the map. Starr crashed the instant we got back. Ajia went to talk with her dad at the main Ranger HQ. Rudy wanted to check on a few other competitors at Indigo, and Darren went with him.

I couldn’t sleep. Too much had happened. So much my head felt like it was going to burst. And I didn’t feel like talking with anyone either, including my team. I let them all out when we got back to the ranger cabin, numbly recounted what had happened, and then wandered off in the woods by myself before I could be tempted to talk it out.

The Rockets had gotten Rayquaza. Because of course that had been their plan all along, and we’d only realized once it was too late. And… Stalker had gotten Latias. Not only that, but he’d done it purely out of spite, because she’d stopped him from catching Rayquaza.

Would it have been better if he’d gotten Rayquaza instead of Ender? No, I wasn’t going to let myself consider that. It was wrong either way.

He’d used us. Played us. I’d known for almost a year. Ever since the night that Starr revealed who he really was. And I’d known that she and Ajia despised him for things that had happened in the past. But those things didn’t feel real until I saw it happen right in front of me.

I told myself I was going to think about anything else. Anything other than how betrayed I felt. I knew that I’d get over it in time, but part of me didn’t want to get over it. I wanted to be angry at the things he’d done.

Probably the most annoying and confusing part was the random flashes of calm that came seemingly from nowhere, almost like an insult. It took me some time to figure out that I was feeling them from Lugia. It was probably sleeping at the bottom of the ocean right now, recovering its strength from that brutal fight. Which made sense, but it was still annoying. How could Lugia be so calm? After everything that had happened? All our failure… Latias gone… Sootopolis destroyed… Stalker using us, and—

<Your anger is distracting. What do you want?>

Dammit, I’d let my focus drift to Lugia too hard. I really was gonna need to get a better handle on that.

<Nothing. I wasn’t trying to talk,> I said shortly.

<You’re clearly bothered by something,> Lugia said flatly. <What is it?>

I groaned. <What do you mean, ‘what is it?’ What else would it be? We failed. We didn’t stop them. Latias got captured, and I was right there, and I couldn’t save her.>

I felt Lugia struggling with its words. <I’m bothered by what happened to Latias as well,> it said slowly and deliberately, and there was a noticeable heaviness to its words. <Mew is particularly devastated. They were quite close with Latias. I don’t… feel that I’m in the best position to comfort them.>

A twinge of guilt hit me. I wasn’t even thinking about how Mew had lost a friend. I hadn’t even known Latias that long, but… she’d been trying her hardest to protect us. And she was someone else that Stalker had hurt, so I guess I’d… related to her in a way.

But it wasn’t just what happened to her. It wasn’t just the way Stalker had strung us along and played us for fools. No, it was the fact that after all of this, I still didn’t have any clue why he’d done it. He kept talking like it was so important for us to stop the Rockets, and I refused to believe that it was all just an act. There was something missing there. And I knew I needed to forget about it, I knew, but…

No. I couldn’t just let this go. Not without getting answers. Even if I had to march right up to the Johto HQ and demand them.

And then for whatever reason, it dawned on me—I could actually do that. What was stopping me? Mahogany wasn’t that far. Stalker wouldn’t turn me away.

<I’m going to talk with the Johto commander,> I said without warning.

<Why?> Lugia asked, utterly perplexed.

<Because I need to give him a piece of my mind,> I said

Lugia was unimpressed. <That sounds like a pointless and unnecessary risk.>

<Look, I know him, alright? He’s not going to do anything to me.> Did I know that? Did I? <And it’s not pointless, I need answers.>

Lugia was silent for some time. <You intend to inform Mew of this, then?>

What? Mew? Why—<I’m flying, not teleporting,> I said heatedly. The last thing I wanted to do was inconvenience Mew with my own personal BS. And contacting Mew would mean telling Ajia what I was doing, and I really didn’t want to do that either.

Lugia made the mental equivalent of an eye roll. <I’ll inform Mew of it anyway.> It considered something for a bit and then added, <Also you must remain in contact with me while you are there.>

I exhaled slowly through my teeth. <Alright, fine.> That probably wouldn’t be possible anyway. I was heading to a Rocket base. There’d be a psychic shield, like always. I didn’t feel like telling Lugia that, though.

Lugia’s presence faded into the back of my mind, and I was alone once more. Standing in the middle of the darkening woods, forced to stop and think about what I’d just said. I’d barely put any thought into it at the time, but now I was committed.

“Guess I’m… going to visit Stalker,” I said to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flight to Mahogany was longer than I’d been acting—nearly an hour. Maybe it was stupid of me to pass up the opportunity to save that hour by teleporting, but it was too late to change that. I opted to fly on Aros. Even though everyone was fully healed, he’d been the least worn out by the end of the mission. And he seemed like the least likely to ask questions. Swift and Firestorm both probably would have had reasonable things to say. And I didn’t want to risk getting talked out of this.

Aros didn’t even complain that much at first. For most of the trip, the only sound was the buzzing of his wings as we crossed the Tohjo Mountains, following the light of the moon in the darkening sky. It wasn’t until we were descending on Mahogany that he finally spoke up.

“*I still don’t get what the point of this is,*” the Flygon said after we landed in a quiet, semi-wooded area on the eastern edge of town. “*I mean, we already knew Stalker lied to us. What’s talking supposed to do?*”

“I need answers,” I replied shortly, sliding down from his back. “I need to know why he’s doing all this.”

“*Humans lie all the time. Why is this instance so special?*”

I spun around. “We trained with him for months, you can’t possibly be surprised that I’m upset.” Maybe he was used to being let down by humans, but we’d trusted Stalker.

“*I’m just saying, you might want to chill,*” Aros said with a bored tone.

“You’re telling me to chill?” I said incredulously. “You’re like the least chill one on the team.”

Aros was silent for several seconds. “*I’ve been trying to work on that,*” he mumbled.

I froze. He sounded genuinely hurt. I’d crossed a line, hadn’t I?

“I… you’re right, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.” It wasn’t the only uncalled for thing I’d said within the past day, either. I exhaled slowly and added, “I was kind of a jerk yesterday.”

Aros didn’t say anything. The only sound was the gentle swaying of leaves in the night air. I found myself racking my brain for something positive to say. It was hard, shoving all the residual anger and confusion from the Hoenn mission out of my head, but…

“Hey, so… from what I saw, you were pretty awesome protecting the Aquas,” I said.

“*I did alright,*” he said gruffly.

“Better than alright,” I insisted. “There was ice freaking everywhere and you avoided all of it.”

Aros paused, considering it. “*Yeah. Guess I did,*” he said with the smallest bit of pride leaking through in his voice. “*It’s nothing special though.*”

I gave him my best attempt at a smirk. “I’ve never known you to say that you’re nothing special.”

His expression hardened. “*I’m an experiment. I’m supposed to be better than regular Pokémon. That’s not bragging, that’s just how it is.*”

I blinked. Oh. This was… more involved than I’d thought.

“*Back on the Rebellion, I was the strongest. Everyone looked up to me,*” he said, staring off at the half moon hanging over Mahogany. “*If I’m not, then… what am I?*”

Stygian had always said that the two of them weren’t enhanced clones. They had no special powers, no exceptional strength. Just a hard life full of harsh training that had left them tougher than normal.

I glanced away, unable to meet his eye. “You can’t just be you?” I said awkwardly.

He scoffed. “*What good is that?*”

“Good enough to me,” I murmured.

“*Yeah, what’s that worth,*” he said with a snort. I glanced away, unsure of how to respond.

Several seconds passed. Aros’s wings flattened with embarrassment. “*I didn’t… mean that.*”

“I know.”

Another awkward silence. The Flygon’s tail swished back and forth distractedly.

“*I know everyone else thinks it’s stupid,*” he said bitterly. “*Stygian definitely thinks it’s stupid,*” he added with a wince.

I shoved my hands in my pockets. “It’s really not that weird. Being strong is pretty important to a lot of Pokémon, and—”

“*Stop.*”

I froze, staring at the irritated scowl on his face.

“*Don’t… don’t try to fix this. You’re always trying to fix everything,*” Aros muttered.

I rubbed the back of my head. “Sorry.” I shuffled a foot against the dirt, biting back several comments that would probably just make things worse. I settled on, “Can I at least apologize for being a jerk in Sootopolis?”

The Flygon considered me for a bit before tossing his head like he was rolling his eyes. “*Fine, apology accepted or whatever,*” he said disinterestedly, but I’d known him long enough to catch the genuine tone underneath it. “*So what now? You go yell at this guy and then we head back?*”

I couldn’t help chuckling. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

We set off down the streets of Mahogany. It was a quiet, forested town—the kind of place that probably wouldn’t have many people at all if it weren’t for trainers and tourists. My memory of the Rocket base’s location was pretty fuzzy. Starr had pointed it out once when we’d stopped by here, but that was over a month ago. I got lost, of course. But eventually, I felt the stirrings of déjà vu in the back of my head as I passed by a certain shady-looking tourist shop. The tiny red R in the corner of the window gave it away.

I turned to Aros. “You staying outside?”

He snorted. “*And let you go into a Rocket base alone?*” Right, the rest of my team was still back at the cabin.

“…Fair point,” I said, recalling him.

If this was anything like the other Rocket bases, there had to be a members-only back entrance. I wandered around back and sure enough, there it was—a large metallic door that looked way too heavy-duty for such a shabby building. I pressed the pager button on the door’s keypad. No response. I knocked on the door. Still nothing. I slammed my fist to the metal repeatedly. Come on. There had to be someone guarding this entrance.

I was just about to turn around and try bothering the shop owner when the viewhole slid open. A tired pair of eyes surveyed me irritably. “Get lost, kid,” their owner said.

“I’m here to see the commander,” I said as forcefully as I could.

The guard raised an eyebrow. “On whose orders?”

“Just tell him Jade’s here, dammit. He’ll want to talk to me.”

There was a long pause while the Rocket peered at me closely. “You better be right,” he growled.

The viewhole shut and I was left alone. For how long, I wasn’t quite sure. Eventually, I heard what sounded like mechanical latches being undone. Then the entire door slid open, and suddenly I was face-to-face with Raikou, staring the hulking tiger straight in the eyes.

“Why, hello there,” a voice said. My eyes slid upward to see the person sitting on Raikou’s back, fixing me with an amused look. Lexx glanced around the alley behind me and added, “Came here alone, didja?”

“Yeah, I did,” I replied flatly.

“Well then, right this way,” he said, motioning for me to walk inside.

My eyes lingered on Raikou as I stepped into the base, the door sliding shut behind me.

“Sorry ‘bout security,” Lexx said casually. “We’ve just got to be careful. Now that the Kanto force knows we’re traitors, they’re gonna be out for our heads.”

“Not strong enough to fight them off?” I asked dryly.

“They’ve got three Legendaries and we’ve got three,” Lexx answered simply. “Unfortunately, one of theirs is a higher legend that could wipe the floor with all three of ours.”

That he could talk so callously about how they just captured Latias. Disgusting.

Lexx led me into a service elevator large enough to fit… well, to fit a six-foot tiger. He tapped his ID to the scanner, and the lift descended. A few seconds later, the door opened on a wide metallic corridor, and Lexx gestured for me to take the lead. I walked out in front, followed closely by Raikou. The sound of its heavy claws clicking on the tile floor echoed through the hallway, announcing our arrival. Any Rockets ahead of us darted out of our path. I kept my eyes focused straight ahead but still caught glimpses of huge tech labs through the side windows, with scattered Rockets staring at us from the doorways.

“Stand down, Sebastian gave the all clear,” Lexx said cheerfully. Half of the Rockets visibly relaxed, though a fair number of them were still staring in admiration at the Legendary in their midst.

“Do you normally just parade Raikou around the base like this?” I asked in a tone that maybe sounded too much like I was trying to start a fight.

Either Lexx didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Nah. Folks need the morale boost after that mission, though. Need to remember how far we’ve come.”

“Sakari,” a stern voice snapped. “Any reason you’re bringing a known rebel into the base?”

I turned to see a tall, middle-aged man standing around the corner, fixing us with a rather unimpressed scowl.

“She’s got an audience with Seb,” Lexx answered with a wave.

The man rolled his eyes. “Why am I not surprised,” he said dismissively before turning to walk back into his office. “Tell Shepard to run this kinda shit past me next time, got it?”

“Head of base operations,” Lexx explained in a hushed voice. “Don’t mind him, he’s just on edge after the mission.”

In a way, it was mildly satisfying that even Stalker’s superiors were frustrated with the way he just did whatever the hell he wanted without caring if it bothered anyone else.

“Hey, so… no hard feelings about what happened in Hoenn, right?”

I jerked my head toward Lexx. “What?” Had I misheard him, or had he really just said that?

Lexx gave me a sideways glance. “You know, how we had to be on opposite sides, attacking each other and such. It wasn’t personal.”

‘Wasn’t personal’? Was he for real? Was that supposed to make it okay? He was saying it like it was a given that I wasn’t going to take it personally, and I didn’t have the slightest clue what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything. I just kept my eyes glued straight ahead so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at him.

<Have you arrived yet?>

I practically jumped through my skin. <Lugia?!>

<What’s that surprise for?> it replied, mild irritation in its words.

<I’m inside the Rocket base!> I almost shouted, immediately attempting to wipe the shock from my face so that no one would see it.

<Yes. And?>

<‘And’?? All Rocket bases have psychic blockers, that’s the whole reason we can’t teleport inside. That should include telepathy.>

Exasperation prodded at me. <I told you this wasn’t telepathy, didn’t I?>

I paused. <Yeah, but you said it worked the same.>

<It does work the same.>

I scowled. <Clearly it doesn’t!>

<Well, it’s helpful for us, isn’t it?> Lugia replied defensively. <Don’t dwell on it too much.>

Ha. That was rich coming from Lugia. But still, it did bother me. The patron-chosen bond was not psychic, like everyone said it was. What was it? The Legendaries themselves didn’t even know. How could they not?

We reached the end of the corridor, where Lexx hopped down from Raikou’s back and strode over to a door on our left, scanning his ID. I could feel myself starting to sweat. This was it. This was why I’d come here.

<I’m almost to the commander,> I told Lugia. <I’m gonna have to pay attention to him, so I won’t be able to reply.>

Lugia gave a mental affirmation, and I felt its presence fade into the back of my mind.

The door slid open, and Lexx motioned for me to enter. Slowly, hesitantly, I did. And there he was. Seated behind a computer desk, talking with two other Rockets, wearing that same infuriatingly calm expression he always did.

“Stalker,” I growled.

He turned, staring at me with those cold eyes of his, and in an instant, all of the anger that I’d been suppressing for the past hour flared up at once. I stormed forward, oblivious to everyone else in the room, and slammed both palms down on the desk. “Why did you have to capture Latias?!”

Stalker was unfazed by my outburst. “She was in the way,” he answered simply. “And her antics are the reason the Kanto force has Rayquaza now.”

“Don’t give me that,” I said, glaring at him. “We were trying to stop them too. If you really gave a damn, you would have helped us!”

His gaze was unflinching. “The only thing that mattered was keeping Rayquaza out of their hands,” he said, like nothing was more true. “Gaining its power would have given my forces an edge over theirs. It would have benefited your side as well.”

“That doesn’t…” I shook my head, grabbing my hair. “Why can’t you just let us do this? You said you wanted the chosen to stop them, right? Then why do you need to keep catching more Legendaries?!”

I wasn’t expecting an answer. Part of me was convinced this was a waste of time. Why on earth had I ever expected him to tell me anything? But then, out of nowhere, he said, “Do you want to know what my plans were?”

I stopped, blinking. “What?”

“I’ve openly betrayed the Kanto force,” he said. “There aren’t many secrets left.”

Just that one question shattered my expectations to pieces. Here I was, ready to beat the truth out of him, and he just went and offered to tell me everything?

While I was still staring dumbstruck, Stalker stood up from his desk, gesturing for me to follow him. “Come on. Let’s go where we can talk privately.”

I stood frozen for several seconds, still unable to process what had just happened. Without waiting for my answer, Stalker turned and walked out of the room. After a few seconds, I finally shook my head to get ahold of myself before following.

Stalker took me to the lowest floor of the base and led me into a room containing a large, stark-white Pokémon holding cell, with tall glass panes that were probably reinforced with energy shields. He motioned me toward a seating area with a couple of armchairs around a small, circular table. I waited for him to sit down, then took the chair across from him.

“Where should I begin?” he asked, and it sounded like a genuine question.

Now that I was finally here, I couldn’t actually figure out what I wanted from him. My thoughts were a swirling torrent of anger and confusion, and it was too hard to get any of it straight.

“I just… why are you doing all of this? Are you really trying to take over as head of Team Rocket? Or do you just want control of the Legendaries that badly?”

Stalker raised an eyebrow. “Weren’t you accusing me of just that?”

I gave him a hard stare. “I want to know if it’s true.”

“Intent is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is action. You’ve seen my actions. Don’t you have your own conclusions?”

“No,” I said flatly. “I don’t have a clue what you’re really going for. Everything you do is weird and contradictory.”

His face fell slightly. It was almost like he was hoping I’d be able to figure it out on my own. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair and said, “I’ll start from the beginning, then. I’ve known for a long time that I’d need to use the power of the Legendaries. Ever since I first learned about the Legendary project, and—”

“How long,” I cut in.

He paused. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, from the way you talk, it seems like you’ve been planning to take over Team Rocket since the day you joined.”

Stalker closed his eyes. “Of course not. I was only thirteen when I joined. Too young to make a difference on the team, and too young to even think about doing anything like that. I joined the team to get a Pokémon and a trainers’ license, that’s all.”

Only thirteen. It was hard to imagine that at one point, he’d been a scared, clueless kid just like the rest of us. But then, something didn’t add up…

“Why did you need to join Team Rocket to get a license?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. There was no way… he hadn’t failed the test like me, had he?

Stalker paused, looking contemplative. “I suppose that does sound odd.” He considered it for a bit, then added, “I was only passing for thirteen. I wasn’t old enough to get a license, so I must have been eleven.”

What? Was he seriously implying that he didn’t remember his own age? But… wait, if he was passing for two years older, then that meant—

“You’re only seventeen?!” I blurted out.

He furrowed his brow. “I suppose I am.”

I couldn’t help staring. He was only sixteen when the Rebellion began, not eighteen like I had thought. He was only fifteen when he became commander. That seemed completely ridiculous, but how could anyone have known better? He easily looked that old. Older, even. And if that was his age on his trainer ID, then who would question it? And who exactly was going to argue that he wasn’t strong enough for the position when he’d single-handedly captured two Legendaries?

Either he didn’t notice the way I was gaping at him, or he didn’t care. He continued with, “Regardless, I didn’t begin pursuing this path until I reached officer rank and joined the combat unit. That was when I learned about the Legendary project, and when I realized that I needed to capture the Legendaries to keep them out of the Kanto force’s hands.”

There he was, talking like he needed to take control of Team Rocket in order to… prevent them from doing the same thing he was doing. It didn’t make any sense.

“You already know all about the revolt thanks to Starr and Ajia. While the revolt was useful in weakening the Kanto force, I didn’t gain many allies from it. The people most likely to betray Team Rocket were those who’d already had their spirits crushed. They didn’t want to fight back—they wanted to escape. I’d thought that the Kanto commander would be different… but in the end, even he left.” He paused, eyes lowered, but everything else about his expression was perfectly neutral. I couldn’t tell if he was angry, or disappointed, or intrigued, or what.

After a few seconds, he continued, “It was in my best interest to leave the deserters alone, and start over with a new team where I could forge the ideal allies from scratch.”

“The Rebellion,” I said quietly, and Stalker nodded. Of course we were only ever pawns in his power play with the Kanto force. Why was I still looking for evidence otherwise? I knew there wasn’t any.

Stalker held up two fingers. “I created the Rebellion for two reasons. You already know the first goal: I needed to weaken the Kanto force, and strengthen my position within the Johto force. Preventing them from having access to the legends’ power was the simplest means.”

“Why kids,” I snapped.

He paused, staring me in the eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched almost invisibly.

“Why’d you go out of your way to recruit kids?” I repeated. “Was it just because we’d be less likely to question you?” I’d never questioned it at all until Starr called him out for it that night. And sure, it was slightly less weird now that I knew he wasn’t even two years older than me, but still.

Stalker eyed me carefully. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I wanted to shape my recruits’ fighting style from the ground up. But also… kids would be more likely to have no previous history with Team Rocket. They would be more easily underestimated by the Rockets. And, yes, they’d be more likely to take me at my word.”

“So you were fine with getting a bunch of kids killed then,” I said coldly.

Stalker closed his eyes. “I understand that you’re upset, but I just said that my intent was to create allies. Recklessly throwing their lives away would have been counterproductive.”

A bit of the anger leaked out of me, and I couldn’t help wanting it back. “Did you… actually expect a bunch of kids to be able stop Team Rocket?”

“Of course not,” he said, and his words were yet another slap to the face. “There were dozens of things that could have gone wrong. And even if everything went right, it was still entirely possible that the Rebellion might not have managed to save a single Legendary.”

“Then why…?”

Stalker surveyed me closely in that way he always did before he was about to say something big, and I hated how easily I recognized it. “Weakening the Kanto force was only one goal. Arguably the less important one. My true goal was to create the ideal candidates for becoming chosen.”

Silence. Twice, I tried to say something in response, but the words wouldn’t come. It was like a bucket of ice had just been dumped on my head.

“Wh-what?”

“In creating the Rebellion, I assembled a group of dedicated and impressionable young trainers, allied them to my cause, and gave them the tools they needed to fight the Rockets. Their innocence, idealism, and lack of previous history with Team Rocket would make them ideal candidates for becoming chosen. Even if the rebels hadn’t succeeded at a single mission, the Rebellion would have gotten the Legendaries’ attention in a big way, and handed them a large group of interlopers on a silver platter.”

Me being chosen. Rudy being chosen. That had been engineered by him? Now even the Legendaries themselves were unknowing pawns in his game?

“Of course, the ideal scenario would have been for the rebels to join the Johto force eventually,” he went on. “Unfortunately, the attack on Midnight Stadium was a setback there. It wasn’t the worst-case scenario, because I knew the survivors were already primed for becoming chosen. But it did mean that I could no longer assume that I’d have access to any of the patron legends.”

We were just pawns. He’d never cared. He’d never cared. And yet…

“The attack on Midnight wasn’t the worst-case scenario?” I said incredulously, struggling to keep my voice level. “Then why the hell did you risk yourself for us? You fought Moltres for crying out loud!”

Stalker looked unimpressed. “You were all valuable players in the fight against the Kanto force. Of course I was willing to risk myself. All that effort would have gone to waste if the Rockets had killed all of you.”

I sat back in my chair and clicked my tongue. “All of us, huh? But some of us dying was fine.”

Stalker folded his arms. “You keep changing your position on this. What are you trying to prove?”

“I don’t know, that Starr and Ajia were wrong about you? But you seem determined to prove them right.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and peering at me closely. “Let me ask you this: what will it change if they are right?”

“Huh?”

His gaze was unyielding. “My past actions aren’t going to be changed regardless of whether or not I thought of the rebels as nothing more than pawns.”

“Knowing how you felt about us might change how we feel about you, ever thought of that?” I said heatedly.

A long pause followed. Something shifted in Stalker’s eyes. “I did not wish for harm to come to the rebels,” he finally said, his voice cold and serious.

I snorted. “Yeah, that’s a committed answer.”

“It’s no concern of mine whether you find it to be an acceptable answer or not.”

God, talking to him was like pulling teeth. I was getting too heated. I couldn’t get distracted by my personal issues with what he’d done back then. Not when I still had so many questions.

So everything he’d done… it all came back to making sure the chosen pact went through. That still didn’t explain what he was doing now.

I took a deep breath. “Why did you spend all that time and effort helping the Legendaries find chosen humans if you’re not going to help us now?”

“I have nothing against working together with the patrons,” Stalker said matter-of-factly. “They don’t seem too eager to work with me, though.”

“Then just let your captive Legendaries go free.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not??” I demanded, slamming a fist to my knee. “You keep saying that you need to use their power to topple the Kanto force. Why can’t you just work with the Legendaries instead of using them?”

“Do you honestly believe that the chosen and patrons working together will be enough?” he asked, fixing me with a stare so intense that it felt like his eyes were burning right through me. “You’ve read the Midnight Island legend. ‘Though none may prevail, what is set into motion shall be much greater indeed.’”

I froze. The Midnight Island legend—I’d barely even thought about those ruins since last year. “You… you really think that legend was predicting the future?” Lugia didn’t seem to think so.

Stalker raised an eyebrow. “Predicting? No, I don’t think it was a prediction at all. I think it was instructions. And I’m the one making sure that it happens. Nothing that’s happened so far would have been possible if it weren’t for me.”

What? He was… making sure that legend came true? All the lies, all the manipulation, and it all came back to some 3000-year-old inscription on a rock, and no matter how badly I wanted to yell that that was ridiculous, the words wouldn’t come. I’d seen the proof—the chosen pact was real. I was a part of it, whether I liked it or not.

And there was also… the second legend. The writings in the basement, with the metallic orb that I’d taken. The writings that said the chosen pact would fail. Did he know? I sure as hell didn’t feel like telling him about the orb now, but…

Why do you want the chosen pact to work?” I asked. “What is it for?

Stalker tilted his head, gazing at me curiously. “Do you not realize what all of this is really about?”

I threw my hands in the air. “No? Obviously??”

“I’m trying to prevent the Revolution.”

A heavy silence followed. I could practically feel the context struggling to piece itself together in my head.

“The Revolution?”

Stalker leaned forward, staring me straight in the eyes. “What do you think this war is really about? Stopping Team Rocket? It goes a lot deeper than that. The Revolution is described as the total collapse of the balance between human and Legendary. That sounds like it goes a lot further than just stopping an organization from gaining too much power, don’t you think?”

I stared at him, and no matter how hard I tried to resist, I could feel my guard slipping. I wanted to just disregard everything he was saying, but…

“How is the Revolution supposed to happen? How do we stop it?”

And then I was yanked out of the moment by a rather obnoxious telepathic intrusion.

<You have been silent for far too long. What is he telling you?> Lugia demanded.

I groaned internally. <Hang on, he’s just getting to the good stuff.>

“You’re communicating psychically right now, aren’t you?”

I froze. Of course I hadn’t been able to keep my reaction off my face. Of course he’d seen it and knew what it meant. Dammit.

That, by the way, is part of the reason I can’t tell you everything,” he said, simply, closing his eyes. “There’s no reason you wouldn’t pass it on to your patron.”

I tilted my head. “What, so it’s perfectly fine for me to know all this stuff, but you don’t want the Legendaries to know?”

“Exactly.”

I had no idea what to make of that. Knowing him, he wouldn’t have said that if it wasn’t important. Was he worried something would… happen if the Legendaries knew his true motives? Would that make it easier for them to stop him?

“You know, I’m impressed you managed to become chosen,” Stalker went on with an offhand tone, even though I doubted it was genuine. “And also… surprised.”

I snorted. “Something you didn’t see coming? I was starting to think that wasn’t possible.”

“I was surprised,” he continued, “because I didn’t think you had the resolve to follow a path like that for your own reasons.” I couldn’t even tell if I was supposed to be offended by that or what. When I didn’t respond, he added: “What are you fighting for? What is your ambition?

I hesitated. Was that a trick question? “I… I want to save the Legendaries.”

“Why?”

Why? Was he for real? He was the one who put the idea of saving Legendaries in my head, and now he wanted me to justify it?

“Your ambition is sourced from others,” Stalker continued. “From Ajia. From your team. From your patron.” He paused, making eye contact. “From me.” I glanced away, refusing to meet his eye. “You’re using others to guide your path.”

“Hang on, hang on, and you’re not?” I shot back.

Stalker was unfazed. No, not just unfazed, he looked pleased. Was he trying to get me to call him out? “I will use whatever resources I can to achieve my goals, but my goals are mine, and mine alone. I know what I’m working toward. Do you?”

Dammit. He knew that I’d been reluctant to rejoin the fight. Of course he knew.

“Is that supposed to excuse the way you’ve been using everyone?” I said with my best attempt at defiance.

“You can say whatever you like about me, but do you think that the chosen pact is any less exploitative?”

I jolted. “Wait, what? Are you seriously trying to argue that catching the Legendaries is the same thing as being chosen by them?”

“No. I understand that catching the legends is different than being chosen by them. When I say it’s the same, what I actually mean is that it’s the same as them choosing you.”

“Wrong again,” I shot back. “The chosen pact doesn’t even work if both patron and chosen don’t consent.” Ugh, I probably shouldn’t have revealed that, but I was too determined to prove him wrong.

Stalker looked unsurprised—had he already known? “They’re still using you for their own self-interest. Do you really see yourselves as equals?”

I froze. Equals? How… how could we ever be equals? They were Legendaries. And I was… I was just a human.

“How confident are you in your bond with your patron?” Stalker asked.

Why was he asking that? “I… It’s fine. Why?”

It was plain from the look on his face that he wasn’t fooled in the slightest. “I’d recommend working on that before this conflict has a chance to worsen.”

Whatever. Maybe it was true. I still didn’t need him of all people saying it.

Neither of us said anything for some time after that. I kept my eyes firmly on the tile floor, refusing to look at him. Trying to come up with more things to say, more questions, more accusations, but none would come.

“I think we’ll leave it at that for now,” he said.

I immediately felt the urge to protest. To demand more answers. But somehow, it just felt like all the fight in me was gone. Stalker stood up and walked toward the door. My legs were on autopilot as I followed him.

“You’re welcome to come here whenever you like,” Stalker said. “Provided, of course, that you come alone.”

I gave him a suspicious glare. “Why?”

“It’s useful for me to have someone on the other side that I can talk to.”

“More like you can use me to get to the Lugia and the other Legendaries,” I muttered.

“Lugia is a patron. I have no desire to capture the patrons,” Stalker said, as if the very idea were ridiculous.

“Lexx has Raikou!” I shot back. “How do you explain that?!”

He fixed me with an unreadable expression. “Lexx captured Raikou of his own volition. For now, we’ll continue to make use of its strength.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you’ll let it go eventually?”

“I make no promises.”

I shook my head. “Unbelievable.” I shouldn’t have been surprised. I really shouldn’t have.

Stalker opened the door to reveal Lexx waiting alone in the hallway outside, leaning with one foot propped against the wall. Raikou was no longer with him.

“Lexx will escort you out.”

At those words, Lexx glanced up from his phone, still wearing that stupid cheerful expression. I didn’t look at him or anyone else the entire time he led me out of the base. When we reached the entrance, he said something that my ears didn’t register, and then the door shut behind me.

I was left standing there in the cool nighttime air, staring blankly at the sky for several minutes. I just didn’t have the desire to move or think or anything. But I couldn’t stay there forever. Eventually, I let my focus drift back to Lugia and said, <I’m outside the base now.>

<Finally. What have you learned?>

What had I learned, indeed. A whole lot of garbage. A whole lot of personal stuff that wouldn’t be of any interest to Lugia. But there was one thing…

<Stalker said that… he’s doing all this to prevent the Revolution.>

<What?>

I rubbed my eyes. <Don’t tell me you don’t know what it is either.>

<No, of course I’ve heard of it,> Lugia replied in annoyance. <It was spoken of in numerous legends. That just doesn’t make any sense. The Revolution is supposed to be the conflict between human and Legendary. Well, that’s what’s going on right now—how the hell does he plan to ‘prevent’ it if it’s already happening?>

I blinked. <What? I didn’t think it was happening now. I thought things were supposed to get worse soon. Maybe that’s what he’s trying to prevent.>

<Decimating our numbers is a strange way of doing so,> Lugia replied dryly.

Anger suddenly flared up within me. <Why don’t you Legendaries have any idea what’s going on?>

<Excuse me?>

<You don’t know how the chosen pact works, why you were picked for it, what it’s even for. And now you don’t know anything about the Revolution? Maybe Sebastian is preventing it! It’s not like we would know any better!>

A part of my brain just wanted to let him catch all the Legendaries and be done with it because at least he had a goal he was working toward, unlike the rest of us. And yeah, I knew that was stupid. I knew it spit in the face of the anger I felt over what happened to Latias, but right now I was too pissed off to care.

I felt a sense of heavy, heavy restraint coming from Lugia. It wanted to lash out. And I wanted it to fight back. I couldn’t feel scared of Lugia while I was miles and miles away. Lugia couldn’t do anything to me. Not here. Not now. Not this time.

But in the end, all of Lugia’s anger and annoyance and indignation melted into a tired, smothering apathy. It just didn’t have the energy to care anymore.

<You are compromised. You should return to your allies.>

<I’m just fine,> I snapped.

<You are tired, you are hungry, and you are exhausted. You are not thinking straight,> Lugia said, slowly and deliberately.

Immediately, my brain struggled to generate comebacks, each one feebler than the last. I could actually feel the fight draining out of me.

<I was going to return to them anyway,> I mumbled. A wisp of smug self-satisfaction drifted from Lugia, and I did my best to ignore it.

<Are you going to fly back?> it asked.

I sighed. <No. There’s no sense tiring my Pokémon pointlessly. You can tell Mew I’m here now.>

<All right.>








Sebastian sat unmoving for some time after Jade left, replaying their conversation in his mind, over and over. Considering the things he’d said, the ways she’d responded. He’d told her more than he’d initially planned to—that was intriguing. He couldn’t explain why, but it felt right that she should know. And it wasn’t as though it wouldn’t be useful. She was willing to listen. That alone would make her more valuable than the others.

Perhaps he should have told her more… But given the obviously volatile nature of her chosen bond, that was risky. The last thing he needed was to unintentionally fuel the events he was trying to prevent.

It felt strange to lay so much out in the open. Even if he hadn’t told her the true reason… the source of it all. He’d gone so long only able to talk about it with two others. Bringing in another was a tantalizing prospect. Maybe she could be a confidant someday.

No. He knew the reason why she couldn’t.

Slowly, Sebastian reached into his pocket and retrieved a minimized Master Ball. With the press of a button, he expanded it to the size of his palm and rolled it around gently. He’d been carrying this ball with him all day, and no one had even attempted to steal it from him. Had they just assumed that he wouldn’t be stupid enough to carry it around? Not that losing his friend’s Pokéball would have mattered too much, but it still would have been inconvenient.

Sebastian tapped the button again, and Latios appeared in a burst of white light. He gave a brief shake of his head before glancing around the room, realizing that they were back home now. His eyes were alert, his breathing steady. Nothing appeared pained.

Sebastian reached out to run a hand along the dragon’s neck. “Are you alright?”

Latios winced. “*Getting hit by Rayquaza wasn’t fun… but I feel fine now.*”

“Good. There’s something I need to tell you. I have your sister here.” He held up a second Master Ball. “I’m going to speak with her.”

Latios’s eyes flickered with some sort of conflicted emotions. Guilt, perhaps. Or longing.

“You miss her, don’t you?” Sebastian asked quietly.

Latios nodded, his eyes shifting back and forth. “*I… don’t suppose I could… *”

“I’m going to talk privately with her. Afterward, you two will be reunited.”

Relief washed over the dragon’s cobalt face. “*Thank you.*”

“I’m sorry that you two had to be separated in the first place. And that you couldn’t say anything when you two met on the battlefield.” He gave the dragon a pointed look, waiting for his response.

Latios stared downward. “*Our mission was more important.*”

Sebastian nodded approvingly. “Good. I’m going to recall you now. The next time you’re released, it will be with her.”

Latios paused, as though he wished to say something more, but then gave a nod of acceptance before he was recalled.

Sebastian was alone. He replaced Latios’s ball in his pocket, then stared long and hard at Latias’s, gripping the ball tightly with shaking fingers.

She’d ruined everything. Everything has been going perfectly, only for it to all fall apart at the last second. Why didn’t she understand? Why didn’t anyone understand? Why did everyone need everything explained to them? Things he couldn’t afford to explain. Things that would ruin everything if they knew. He couldn’t tell them. He had to be their enemy. That was just how it was.

He should have captured Latias long ago. That was his miscalculation. He’d been prepared to deal with being an enemy to the chosen. But a rogue element like Latias fixating on him and only him—it was bound to backfire. Months of planning, all wasted, because she couldn’t see the obvious truth.

Sebastian closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a deep breath. Anger wasn’t useful. He couldn’t allow it to color his interactions with her. That would only make it harder to gain her cooperation. She was here now. That meant he could explain everything to her—at least, so long as she had no way of telling the others. And he had the means to ensure that.

If he could make her feel special, trusted… she could become an ally. And he did have her brother, after all. That was all the leverage he needed.

Sebastian approached the holding cell with slow, deliberate steps. He pressed a button on the control panel to slide open the release hatch, then held the Master Ball through the gap and opened it. Light spilled out of the ball, condensing into the form of a crimson dragon. She shook her head vigorously, feathers ruffling all over. Then her eyes snapped open. She jerked her head left and right, a look of dread slowly dawning on her face. And then her gaze fell on Sebastian. For several seconds, she didn’t move—she just stared up at him with those wide, golden eyes. Without warning, her claws snapped together, beads of light forming between them, expanding into an orb that she fired straight at his face. He stared unflinching as the Mist Ball crashed against the glass, exploding into glittering droplets. A ripple of soft light spread out from the impact, shimmering across the artificial Protect.

Latias recoiled backward slightly, eyes watering. She then took off zooming around the perimeter of the cell, claws digging into walls, dragonfire razing the corners. Latios had done the same when he’d first been brought here. Every inch of the cell was reinforced with the same shields. There was no escape.

After several minutes’ effort, Latias finally slowed to a stop in the center of the room, breathing heavily. Her eyes continued to dart around, searching for anything she’d overlooked, some weakness she could exploit.

“I’m sorry to keep you in here,” Sebastian said to her. “It’s just a necessary precaution. You have every reason to attack me, but I would obviously prefer if you didn’t. You won’t be trapped in here forever. Just long enough to have a conversation.”

The dragon glared up at him incredulously for several seconds. But then she turned away sharply and said nothing.

“I just want to talk. You’ll get to see your brother soon if you do,” he said, letting his tone rise a bit at the end.

Feathery ears twitched. Her wings trembled slightly. But Latias still kept her back firmly to him.

Sebastian closed his eyes. So she was going to be difficult about this. That was fine. He had more than enough patience to outlast her stubbornness, and this was far too important to let slide.

From what he’d seen, and how desperate she was to free her brother, he could guess that she wasn’t accustomed to being alone. She would not handle isolation well. So it likely wouldn’t take long for her to cooperate. Then they could begin forging something long-term.

He sat himself into the closest armchair and let his eyes slide toward a clock on the wall. Nine pm. It had been a very, very long day, and exhaustion was beginning to creep up on him. Normally, he wouldn’t expect sleep to come. But the tiredness was like a smothering tidal wave. His mind grew foggy, and within the fog, images of when it all began started drifting to the surface. The day that he lost everything. The day that he discovered his purpose. The day that he first began pursuing this all-consuming goal.

Until the haze of sleep eventually started to overtake him. His eyelids fluttered, then finally shut.



Nothing.

And yet, everything.

Threads of light sprawl out in an infinite web, twisting and twirling across the void. Each time he lays eyes on one, its light blinks out of existence, only to be replaced with uncountably more. And yet there’s still the same number.

Possibilities. Nothing but possibilities wrapping him up, surrounding him, penetrating every fiber of his being. He has no body. He’s nothing more than a presence. At the same time, the threads are his body, and they always have been. Endless energy and light and possibility, spiraling in on themselves into infinity.

Infinity. Such a terrifying and beautiful concept. Something about it gives him an instinctive shudder. As if he’s seen it. Tasted it. Been torn apart by it.

The threads̊ begin to snap. Just one at first. ̈́Then another. Each one shakes him to his very core, as though it’s ̸ripping out a piece of his soul. He tries to cry out, but no one can hear him. There’s no one else around. Bǘt then who’s doing thḭs? ̲ Why won’t ̔they stop? The threads are snapping so fas᷊t, at this rate ͔there’ll be nothing̻ left. He can’t let ͎that happen. H̲e has to stop it. He tries reachi̼ng out with hands that aren’t there an̾d f̻eels nothing but fray͐͡ed cloth at th͗e᷅ e͘dge̼ of existence. ̨ This is wrong̺. It’᷿͐s nö́t jusͅt him, it’s ̔everyt͔ͩhing. ͂ Everything. S͙omeone has to stop it. ̿͢T̪here’ll be nothing left. No̴th̃͜ing l̹eft. Not̡hing—᷃

T᷾oo la̡te.̮ The̹ͨr͙e’̖͠s̉ no ͠going ba̺ck. ̪ No ͙r͙eturņing what ͈ẉ̵͐᷄as ̉lost. ̜No un̴doi͎ng ͍what’s᷄ al͝ready̿ ͢be͔en ͎ͮͯdo᷀̚n̷e. ̯It͑’s b̿een l̐ike͇ thi̜s ͬfor ̞as lon͟g̽ as he ͎can remem͋be͖̒r, b̺̤uṫ͓… w̿᷅h̢y?

“W̰̺įl̹lͭͅ it͖̝ en̫d?”̚ som͔ͥ̈eon̮͡e ask̰᷾s.͒̾

In ȓẹͥ͟plýͭ, a tȩ̄r̘rif̤᷆yi̓ng̯̎͗ ̓and̘ ͏ͫha᷊teful͑ v̰̕o͉̥̒ī̬͏c̹͉e͈ rͩ͜e̕vȇ̱r̾berͅatḙ̗s ̹acro̠ss̻ ͖t̞h̔e ͡v͌oi̙ͤd:᷂͝

I̖̺̜̞͖͛̂᷅̑ͨ̈́̀̕̚͢N͖͏̴̖͓̰̬͛́᷅͛᷇͟͜͞F̧̻͔̱͙̟̑̈͌͐̋᷾͜͞͡I̛᷊͇͖̻̗̖͓̋̇ͥ͒̽̄̕N̶̦̠᷅̄́͐̀͆᷾̊͢͠͞ͅİ̵̤̦̼̪̬͂ͥͧ᷉͂᷾̌͢Ţ̢̳̣̖̪̤͍̗̝̱͑ͧ̾̄Ȳ̸̷̢̩͎̠̳̱ͤ̉᷅᷄̓᷃ Ȟ̢͔̮͚̯̤̘̱͕ͫͥ̄ͥ͞A̘̹͍̹̩̾᷉̌ͭ̍̈̔̋̍̍S̸͇̟̱͇̖̫̤̪̬᷄᷃̋̋͞ N̰̰͕᷿̬᷿͓ͣ͊̍ͦ̈́̇͌̉O͖᷊̟͔͈᷄̋̍͐̓̎᷾̌͘͢ E̫͉͖̰̬̟᷄̆́ͬ̎̑͜͢ͅN̝̠͕͕̯͚᷊͎᷂͎᷉̅ͬͩ͢Ḋ̶͈͎͍̍ͩ͊̄̀̇ͩ








~End Chapter 46~

Next Chapter: A boy sets himself an impossible quest.
 
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