There was no light in the depths of the sea. No disturbances, no strife. Nothing but calm, sweet silence and solitude, and that was how the guardian of the seas liked it. The ancient being had spent countless hours in the heart of its domain, taking in the whispers and wanderings of a thousand sea currents. Guiding them with its wings. This was how things were meant to be. This was ideal.
At least, until a jolt of awareness in the back of its mind suddenly woke it from its slumber.
Piercing blue eyes snapped open, glowing within the pitch-darkness. The eyes narrowed as their owner contemplated the intrusion. Some kind of psychic signal. Perhaps the sea guardian could ignore it. Pretend it had felt nothing, and sleep for several more months. It knew that signature, and therefore who must have sent it. The guardian knew what they wished to discuss and wanted no part in it.
Wow, as the first real sample of your writing, this is probably one of the strongest starts in a prologue I have seen lately in terms of writing quality. Not only does it convey image and intent, but I would even go so far as to describe it as
artful. If
this is the typical quality of your fic, then you have one immensely impressive fic!
As for the plot, I wonder who is reaching out?
The future was full of many uncertainties. Not so in the deep. The deep was always dark and always would be. The deep was always calm—not like the surface. The deep could always hide those who wished to be hidden.
Another psychic signal prodded at the back of the creature’s mind, and it let out a sigh. It wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep, was it. Apparently, solitude was too much to ask for.
Something was approaching. Another mind had brushed against the guardian’s psychic field. A deep-sea fish of some kind—Relicanth, perhaps. Not that there was any question who it truly was. They weren’t even bothering to hide their psychic presence, after all.
<Are you awake?> came a cool, clear psychic voice, light as an afternoon breeze.
<I am now.>
Relicanth airily drifted around the much larger guardian, their movements playful. Rather unbecoming for that form.
<Are you coming?>
<Must I?>
Relicanth lightly headbutted the creature’s wing with a giggle. <I can teleport you if you like.>
Wait... Relicanth is a water/rock type! How does it have psychic powers? Is it Mew? Did Mew use transform?
<No. I’ll fly by my own wings.>
<Suit yourself.>
With a flash of light that felt disturbingly out of place for the deep, Relicanth vanished.
Alone once again. The sea guardian would have liked nothing more than to return to its meditation. But the Order no doubt wished to discuss the state of things. It couldn’t be helped.
The state of things? Something must be wrong and I'm guessing the order is a council of legendary Pokemon and Mew was actually the one that came to visit Lugia.
With a single flap of its wings, the creature shot up from the ocean floor like a silver torpedo. The crushing depths released their hold as it flew through the water, countless fish scattering in its wake. Closer, closer… the waters grew lighter. There—the inviting glimmer of the surface.
The legend rocketed out of the sea. Cool, salty air swept over its body, a sharp contrast to the water’s embrace. The sensation prickled like needles against its feathers, but still, there was something freeing about beating its wings through currents of wind and taking gulps of air that burned sweetly in its unused lungs.
Dang. That's some beautiful imagery there. Well done!
The sky was so different from the deep, but felt just as right. Flying was, indeed, one of the simplest joys in the world. The legend effortlessly soared higher and higher, its wings stealing bits of silvery cloud to shield it from view. One could never be too careful, especially these days.
Each passing day brought them closer to the one when the balance would fall, just as it had so long ago.
I wonder if that is a prophecy or if it's just a general expectation of inevitability?
The sea guardian had not witnessed that time itself, but every legend knew the tale.
Ah, so Lugia is aware of other legends meaning the order is most likely what I think it is and my guess for Relicanth is likely correct.
Even the humans had stories from the cataclysmic era. And soon the conflict would resurface. No one had wanted to believe it, but recent events had confirmed those fears.
It was a strange thought, knowing that the balance of the world would soon unravel again. Would they be ready? It wasn’t as if the Order had no course of action before them. They all knew what was required. They’d known for ages. The search would have to begin soon.
The search? The search for
what, I wonder?
Even as the fires of the Revolution subside, the balance that the Order fought so hard to preserve is already on the inevitable path to being torn apart once again. Seven among them—the ones who dedicated both mind, body, and spirit toward ending the war—shall be empowered to forge an alliance with humankind so that both might endure.
Hmmm what war? And I wonder who the seven are? I'm guessing Lugia is one of the seven.
Such a strange course of action, joining the two sides together. But the legend knew just as well as the others that it couldn’t refuse. It had seen the threads of fate with its own eyes, much as it hated to admit it. The real question was… when would the conflict reach a point that the interlopers would be forged?
Interlopers forged? Huh... I wonder what that is referring to.
Lugia gazed down over the mainland, its mind swimming with doubts. The next seven years would be interesting, that much was certain.
~~~~~~~~~~
The school bell’s loud ring filled the air—and it was about time, too. I quickly stuffed my books into my backpack before following after my classmates and pretending I hadn’t heard the last-minute assignment that we’d been given. It would have been just a normal afternoon, except my head was still filled with rumors from that morning.
Oh no... After what we just saw, I think it's clear that the fate of the world is going to depend on a school kid. Given how long the fic is, I imagine it will be a harrowing and horrible experience for this person.
I stood on my toes as I glanced back and forth down the hallway, hoping I’d spot Starr somewhere in the crowd. She wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but I did manage to spot my friend Ajia, a small fifth-grader with dark hair and eyes. At least I’d get to talk to her before the end of the day.
Considering the friend, I would say it is likely our protagonist is
also a fifth-grader. Since the protagonists focus seems to be on girls, I would guess our protagonist is also a girl.
“Hey Ajia!” I called out, waving to her from the crowd of fourth-graders before quickly running over to her.
Oh, so the protagonist is in 4th grade, it would seem.
“Heya, how was class?” she asked.
“Eh… failed a Pokéspeech quiz—you know, as always,” I replied with a shrug.
Ajia laughed. “Yeah, that class is a whole lot of confusing doom when you first start out. It gets better later on, though,” she said.
It's a wonder anyone can understand them at all, really!
“Mm,” I replied. This was my third semester at it, so I wasn’t really just starting out. I didn’t feel like saying that, though. And my mind kept wandering back to what had been bothering me most of the day. “So, uh… have you seen Starr? I didn’t even see her at lunch.” I fidgeted a bit, unsure how to ask what I wanted to know. “Is it really true that she’s…?” My words trailed off and died.
Ajia sighed. “She… told me she didn’t want to talk about it with you ‘cause she knew you’d take it the hardest.”
Huh... some kind of bad news, it seems. The MCs mannerisms seem feminine to me so far, so I'm guessing they are a girl.
“What? What does that even—ugh, I’ve got to talk to her before she leaves.”
“I think she’s waiting for a ride out front right now. If you hurry, you might catch her.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Okay, I’ll see you on Monday!” I yelled, immediately taking off through the double doors behind me.
The bright afternoon sun stung my eyes as I raced down the sidewalk. I quickly glanced at each of the kids sitting on the ledge by the parking lot… and then spotted Starr sitting off to the side, head bent low so that her short brown hair hid her face. My footsteps slowed. I hesitated for a bit before walking up to her.
“Hey Jade,” Starr mumbled as I neared, without looking up at me.
Jade... that doesn't help me in the slightest since it could just as easily be used for guys or girls! Assuming Jade is the one depicted on the cover art, I STILL can't tell if Jade is a guy or a girl!
The art looks more like a guy, so I'm going to go with guy for now...
I sat down next to her, but didn’t say anything at first. She had only vaguely hinted at what was going on, and I had no idea what I was supposed to think.
“So… this is really your last day at school here?” I finally asked.
Starr nodded slowly without looking up.
Well, that's sad. It seems Starr is a good friend of Jade...
“Where are you moving to?” I asked cautiously. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it… and I almost didn’t want to know.
In a low voice she muttered, “Cianwood.” I didn’t even know where that was supposed to be.
It was like nothing around us existed. I couldn’t get my thoughts straight—all of this had come up too fast. Sure, I’d known that she was going to leave at the end of the school year, to start her Pokémon training journey. And I’d been trying not to think about it. But I’d thought we’d have three more months together. Not… this.
“It’s not fair!” I cried, burying my face in my arms. “Why’d this have to come out of nowhere? And moving on your birthday? What’s up with that?”
“I don’t know,” Starr replied with a huff. “It’s all my mom’s idea, and she didn’t tell me anything. And Dad’s not even coming with us.”
Daaang it sounds like there might be a divorce involved too. Based on Jade's reaction, I'm wondering if romantic attraction is at play here too.
I slowly uncovered my face. “You never really see your dad much anymore… do you?”
She shook her head.
“Still… it’s dumb that your mom won’t tell you why all of this is happening,” I added.
“Yeah, she just keeps saying that she wants me and my brother to have a better life that we couldn’t have gotten here. Or something like that,” Starr grumbled.
Hard to say if that is just a justification used. Either way, Starr is powerless to stop the change the outcome.
“Hey, that’s right—what does your brother think about all of this? Isn’t he friends with Ajia?”
Starr sighed. “I don’t know, Lexx has been acting weird and not talking to me much lately,” she said with a scowl.
Neither of us said anything else for a while. I just stared at the ground, feeling sort of lost.
“Why didn’t you want to talk to me before you left?” I finally asked.
She sighed again. “I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it, okay?”
I think Starr is hurting from it and focusing on it will make her feel even worse. Makes me wonder if Starr had romantic feelings for Jade, though her reaction would be understandable even if she didn't.
“Who says I was gonna?”
Starr laughed. “What do you think you’re doing right now?”
I opened my mouth to say something, but then realized that she’d got me with that, so I just glared at her.
“Pfft, see what I mean? You’re such a little kid,” Starr said, smirking.
“Don’t call me that!” I yelled, punching her in the shoulder, but she just laughed even harder. Yeah, I was annoyed, but I was also glad to see her smiling. Anything to make things feel normal.
Whaaat? Ok I doubt Jade is a guy now. What guy
punches a girl even in jest as a retort? Well, at this point, one thing is clear to me: You are making this difficult on
purpose. 😑
“So… were you planning to get a starter Pokémon, or is it just gonna be you and Ponyta?” I asked.
“Of course I’m getting a starter,” Starr said with a scoff, like there was no way she wouldn’t. “I’m gonna see if they have any water-types. I’d love to train a Totodile.”
I smiled. “Yeah? That’s cool. It just sucks that I won’t be able to start my journey for three more years.
Three more years?!
Isn't Starr at most a 5th grader??
I wonder how the start of a Pokemon journey is determined? 🤔
Then I could meet up with you and…” My voice trailed off as the realization hit me.
“Hey—hey, wait! If you’re gonna be a Pokémon trainer, that means you can travel anywhere you want, right? So then you can come visit Viridian way before I start my journey!”
Starr paused, blinking in surprise. “I… hadn’t thought of that.”
My face fell. Why wasn’t she more excited about it? She was just kind of… staring into space, distracted.
“You… will visit, right?” I asked quietly.
Starr blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “Huh? Yeah, of course. It might be a while, but I will. Promise.”
Something in her face told me that she wanted to say more. I kept waiting, expecting her to turn towards me and finally say it, whatever it was. But she never did. And I was too afraid to ask.
Huh... I wonder what has her so preoccupied?
We sat there for some time. It was probably only a few minutes, but I wanted it to last forever.
With this bit, Starr is clearly a very good friend and perhaps a romantic interest.
Eventually, Starr glanced up at a blue car that had just parked along the curb. She stared at it for a few seconds, then stood up and threw her backpack over her shoulder before walking towards the car, feet dragging a bit. She had only taken a few steps when she paused, turning back towards me one last time.
“Bye.”
Just hearing that one word made me feel weirdly numb. I forced a smile—it felt fake, and I could tell from her face that she wasn’t fooled.
I didn’t watch as she got in the car.
Man... that's so
sad! 😭
