Golduck
Persephone
Infinite Screms
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Content Notice: This chapter is loosely themed after ducks and both types of Kappa. There are references to sexual assault and eating disorders.
Golduck (Psyduck)
Kappa kappa
Overview
Female golduck are relatively well adjusted and nurturing pokémon, albeit ones with an understandable misandrist streak. Male golduck are entirely unpleasant to each other and every species around them and cannot be recommended under any circumstances. The males are still more common than females in captivity in large part because of the Kappa Order named and modeled after them. The last four governors, nine DNR heads, and three Chief Justices of the Commonwealth Supreme Court have all been Kappa alums, making the removal of golduck from the archipelago nigh-impossible. Until political realities change, the people and psyduck of Alola must continue to suffer the wrath of golduck and their human imitators.
Physiology
Both golduck and psyduck are classified as pure water-types. Despite their appearances and name, golduck are not birds, but monotreme mammals. This makes them poor candidates for a flying-type designation. While a psychic typing seems logical at first glance, golduck have rather weak psychic powers and psyduck only begin to display telepathic abilities when under extraordinary stress. This is common in the wild, especially among males (see Illness), but it is not universal. Golduck have mildly venomous claws, but not to the extent typical of poison-types.
Psyduck are stout bipeds with thick, short, golden fur. A large bill extends from their head. The bill is lined with small jagged ridges that are useful for cutting vegetation. The pokémon have webbed feet and a short tail that is used as a rudder. A sparse tuft of black fur adorns the top of their head. Psyduck’s pupils are usually very small compared to the sheer size of their eyes. This is a sign of a headache (see Illness).
Golduck are much slenderer and have blue fur instead of gold. Their toes and fingers are longer with webbing between them and the tail grows longer and more maneuverable as well. Four spines extend from the back of golduck’s head. These spines, as well as the claws at the ends of their fingers and toes, are mildly venomous. The venom can cause dizziness, nausea, short term memory loss, and impulsive behavior in humans. A small red bump rests between both eyes. This functions in a similar way to the lateral lines on sharks and lets golduck detect nearby organisms in the water.
Golduck can reach heights of five feet and typically weigh seventy to one hundred pounds. Males typically live for three to five years in the wild and captivity, but can live up to fifteen. Females routinely live for ten to fifteen years.
Behavior
Golduck live in sex-segregated groups. Sororities of female golduck tend to be relatively calm arrangements with an elder in charge of a loose hierarchy. Psyduck are typically nurtured by all adult females. Adults spend most of their day in the water eating grasses and any fish unfortunate enough to swim too close. They also appear to swim for recreational purposes. As they grow older, psyduck begin to enter the water and browse under the supervision of the golduck. Despite their reputation for peacefulness, any golduck that gets too fat or thin tends to be first mocked and later banished from the group. Psyduck whose fur isn’t blond enough for their mother’s tastes are often abandoned.
Fraternities are an entirely different story. Strict but fluctuating hierarchies are enforced by brutal acts of dominance including sexual assault, physical violence, group harassment, and the force-feeding of cucumbers. Psyduck are exploited and bullied by adults. In fact, psyduck do most of the resource gathering for golduck instead of the other way around. Most juveniles end up sleep deprived and incredibly stressed to the point where they can barely think. While this altered state does awaken latent powers, the psyduck are unable to focus well enough to control them. Any mistakes are socially, physically, or sexually punished by the entire fraternity. Hazing continues at least up to evolution, at which point the new golduck is eager to vent their frustrations on any unfortunate psyduck or golduck that is weaker than them.
Sororities often dig create crude dams and riverside tunnel systems. Alternatively, they have been known to rest on cliff faces overlooking the water. Many Kappa Orders build large houses and give them to wild golduck fraterinities to reside in and eventually destroy. At this time another, typically better, house will be provided in short order. In 2013 then-Governor Griswold was recalled for using tax dollars to construct a lavish mansion for the wild golduck of North Hau’oli. The recount was later voided by the Commonwealth Supreme Court in an opinion written by another Kappa Order member. The golduck mansion has a paid cleaning staff and even a chef to care for the pokémon. At least one maid broke her NDA after quitting to discuss the treatment shown to her by the people and pokémon at the site. She was subsequently arrested for pokémon abuse by a Kappa alum sheriff and tried by a Kappa alum judge.
Husbandry
Psyduck are one of the very few pokémon that are best obtained as an egg and then entirely raised by humans. Virtually all psyduck raised by golduck, male or female, have behavioral disorders that are only likely to worsen with time. Psyduck raised by humans are often playful, loyal, affectionate, and surprisingly intelligent pokémon. Even outside of Kappa Order families, psyduck has gained some popularity as a starter Pokémon. Children are given the egg months before they would set off on their journey and then get to raise a pokémon under their parent’s watchful eye. By the time the journey comes around, the psyduck is grown enough to battle and has a connection with their trainer.
Wild-born male psyduck typically need a period of recuperation where they are kept away from battles and given adequate food and plenty of time to rest. Any larger pokémon that might pick on the new team member should be kept in line or at least kept away from the psyduck.
Wild-caught female psyduck and golduck tend to have problems with their diet. The best diet for psyduck and golduck is primarily based on seaweed (or freshwater grasses if readily obtainable) with crustaceans and small fish thrown in as an occasional treat. Female psyduck and golduck often outright refuse to eat anything and can suffer health consequences as a result (see Illness). Female golduck are also well-known for their misandry. Male trainers will be ignored or outright attacked. Even female trainers can see their male pokémon, friends, or relatives harassed. This problem is seldom present in females raised by humans.
Wild- and Kappa Order-raised males are known for very different behavioral issues. In particular, they are fond of shoving their hand into the anus of other pokémon and even humans. Females in particular are often targeted. They will do anything to access their beloved cucumbers and will throw tantrums if deprived. Giving in hardly makes the situation better as the newly emboldened pokémon will often break property or hurt itself or others. Males will often attempt to bully weaker pokémon on the team with occasionally lethal results. Again, these issues are seldom present in golduck raised by humans who do not emulate these behaviors.
Outside of their unique behavioral needs, golduck have more standard care requirements. Golduck prefer to have regular access to freshwater to swim in. When possible golduck should be allowed to forage for their food underwater. Alternatively, simple pokémon toys can be used for enrichment.
Female golduck naturally live in burrows. As such they like enclosed spaces and can learn to use closed-top litter boxes. Captive-raised psyduck of both sexes will happily do the same. Golduck-raised males will invariably trash any dwelling they are given and defecate wherever they wish. They are best held outside with a shed or doghouse for shelter from the elements. Be advised that the golduck will attempt to break into nearby homes out of spite. Additionally, the DNR and most district attorneys are extremely sensitive to any complaints about golduck welfare.
Illness
Golduck can get drunk by eating cucumbers due to a strange blend of bacteria in their gut. Golduck-raised males prefer to be inebriated and will do everything in their power to obtain cucumbers. Wild females and hand-reared males still enjoy occasional access as a reward. There are no direct health concerns from feeding an adult golduck a cucumber every one to three weeks. Indirect health risks include injuries suffered on accident or as a result of dares from other golduck. Long-term perpetual intoxication can lead to organ failure and death.
Females often struggle with an unwillingness to eat. Many trainers unwittingly exacerbate the problem by providing a subpar diet or limiting food intake. Female golduck, unless chronically overweight, should be allowed to eat as much food as they want. Ideally, foraging games will be provided to encourage eating. In dire situations an abundance of treat foods (eggs, cucumbers, crustaceans, fish) can be offered.
Psyduck can develop powerful migraines when under extreme stress. These headaches are nearly incapacitating and make the pokémon avoid bright lights, loud noises, and most social interaction. In this state they can also use powerful telepathic attacks. The psyduck has little to no control over these powers and is prone to hurting itself just as much as its enemies. Migraines can easily be avoided by treating the pokémon with a modicum of decency.
Evolution
Psyduck flash evolve after enduring a certain amount of lifetime stress. Male psyduck raised by golduck typically evolve nine to fifteen months after hatching. Female psyduck and hand-raised males evolve twelve to twenty months after hatching. Later evolutions tend to produce larger and more emotionally stable golduck.
Battle
Golduck have a niche as a counter to weather teams. For reasons that are currently unknown, some golduck can greatly weaken attack-summoned weather. In turn, they resist the main attacks of hail, sun, and rain teams and can punish most sand setters and abusers. Unfortunately, golduck are somewhat lacking in power or speed outside of the water and can be easily overpowered on the competitive circuits. Casual trainers do not frequently run weather teams. As such golduck are relegated to the role of a decent mixed attacker that can abuse pools of water. On the island challenge this is good enough to power through two or three islands.
Many trainers believe that psyduck are powerful telepathic attackers. This is false in captivity. In fact, a psyduck that does develop these powers is likely to result in a pokémon welfare investigation if used in any official battle. Instead, psyduck can be used as modestly powerful special attackers for their size and maturity. Water, ice, and psychic attacks can strike down relatively weak foes from a distance and desperate claw attacks can work up close. Psyduck are not built for the rigors of combat but can at least hold their own against other small pokémon until they evolve.
Acquisition
Golduck can be found in the wild in the freshwater streams and ponds of Melemele and Poni Islands. Psyduck can be captured with a Class III license. Fraternities will typically refuse to relinquish their psyduck. However, the individual psyduck will be quite happy to run away with a human if confronted alone. Proving battles are not only unnecessary but likely to convince the pokémon that his trainer is just another bully. Sororities typically do require proving battles to capture a psyduck. Be forewarned that male trainers will be rejected, perhaps violently so. It is a good idea to use a female pokémon in the proving battle.
Many “wild” psyduck and golduck are in fact owned by a Kappa Order chapter. Ordinarily it is not legal for private individuals to own pokémon that live exclusively in the wild on property not owned by the individual. There is an exception written into the law for golduck and psyduck. This is why a pokéball may fail to capture a ‘wild’ psyduck.
Golduck can also be captured with a Class III license. This is generally only viable for recently evolved females. If a golduck wants to go with a trainer, she will engage in a proving battle herself instead of sending a psyduck to do it. Male golduck rarely wish to go with a human trainer. Those that do, typically newly evolved males that are disgusted with their fraternity, will privately seek out nearby humans.
It is best to raise golduck from an egg when possible. These eggs can be obtained directly from a Kappa Order chapter at a high price. Alternatively, some local breeders sell eggs or hatchlings. Hand-reared hatchlings are typically more expensive than an egg. On balance, they are already attached to humans and the trainer does not need to raise a newborn. Psyduck can be purchased with a Class I license. Golduck require a Class II license to purchase. Neither can be adopted as all abandoned members of the line are given to the Kappa Order.
Breeding
Golduck fraternities are known to raid the territory of sororities at night. It is possible that two wild golduck have had consensual reproduction. It has just never been observed. Typically, the males will compensate for their smaller average size by taking advantage of the element of surprise or banding up with another fraternity to be able to overpower more females. In some parts of their range the females have begun setting up so-called “mixers” to make the process less painful. In these events some females will consume multiple cucumbers and then wander into fraternity territory. The fraternities, in exchange, are expected to stop raids on sororities. The process seems unpleasant for the females that do attend, but spares psyduck and absolutely unwilling golduck from the trauma of a raid.
Pregnancy lasts for five months. At this point the eggs are laid. The eggs take another six weeks to hatch. Golduck have mammary glands along their skin and release it as a form of sweat. Psyduck do not leave their burrow for the first three months of life and are not allowed to roam unsupervised for another three to four weeks.
Hand-raised golduck often mimic human relationship dynamics. They often form monogamous pairings, although they seldom mate for life. The male sometimes helps raise the children and the trainer is usually expected to help. For advice on egg incubation, consult the specialist literature. After hatching, the psyduck should be kept in a warm, enclosed space that both parents have access to. The psyduck can either be handfed or additional food can be given to the parents to distribute. Psyduck are not capable of swimming until they are three months old. Do not give a younger psyduck access to deep water.
Relatives
Golduck are native to southern Japan but have since been distributed worldwide. Particularly large concentrations exist in the American Southeast, Australia, and Eastern Europe. They are monotremes that are distant relatives of pokémon such as blissey.
Golduck (Psyduck)
Kappa kappa
Overview
Female golduck are relatively well adjusted and nurturing pokémon, albeit ones with an understandable misandrist streak. Male golduck are entirely unpleasant to each other and every species around them and cannot be recommended under any circumstances. The males are still more common than females in captivity in large part because of the Kappa Order named and modeled after them. The last four governors, nine DNR heads, and three Chief Justices of the Commonwealth Supreme Court have all been Kappa alums, making the removal of golduck from the archipelago nigh-impossible. Until political realities change, the people and psyduck of Alola must continue to suffer the wrath of golduck and their human imitators.
Physiology
Both golduck and psyduck are classified as pure water-types. Despite their appearances and name, golduck are not birds, but monotreme mammals. This makes them poor candidates for a flying-type designation. While a psychic typing seems logical at first glance, golduck have rather weak psychic powers and psyduck only begin to display telepathic abilities when under extraordinary stress. This is common in the wild, especially among males (see Illness), but it is not universal. Golduck have mildly venomous claws, but not to the extent typical of poison-types.
Psyduck are stout bipeds with thick, short, golden fur. A large bill extends from their head. The bill is lined with small jagged ridges that are useful for cutting vegetation. The pokémon have webbed feet and a short tail that is used as a rudder. A sparse tuft of black fur adorns the top of their head. Psyduck’s pupils are usually very small compared to the sheer size of their eyes. This is a sign of a headache (see Illness).
Golduck are much slenderer and have blue fur instead of gold. Their toes and fingers are longer with webbing between them and the tail grows longer and more maneuverable as well. Four spines extend from the back of golduck’s head. These spines, as well as the claws at the ends of their fingers and toes, are mildly venomous. The venom can cause dizziness, nausea, short term memory loss, and impulsive behavior in humans. A small red bump rests between both eyes. This functions in a similar way to the lateral lines on sharks and lets golduck detect nearby organisms in the water.
Golduck can reach heights of five feet and typically weigh seventy to one hundred pounds. Males typically live for three to five years in the wild and captivity, but can live up to fifteen. Females routinely live for ten to fifteen years.
Behavior
Golduck live in sex-segregated groups. Sororities of female golduck tend to be relatively calm arrangements with an elder in charge of a loose hierarchy. Psyduck are typically nurtured by all adult females. Adults spend most of their day in the water eating grasses and any fish unfortunate enough to swim too close. They also appear to swim for recreational purposes. As they grow older, psyduck begin to enter the water and browse under the supervision of the golduck. Despite their reputation for peacefulness, any golduck that gets too fat or thin tends to be first mocked and later banished from the group. Psyduck whose fur isn’t blond enough for their mother’s tastes are often abandoned.
Fraternities are an entirely different story. Strict but fluctuating hierarchies are enforced by brutal acts of dominance including sexual assault, physical violence, group harassment, and the force-feeding of cucumbers. Psyduck are exploited and bullied by adults. In fact, psyduck do most of the resource gathering for golduck instead of the other way around. Most juveniles end up sleep deprived and incredibly stressed to the point where they can barely think. While this altered state does awaken latent powers, the psyduck are unable to focus well enough to control them. Any mistakes are socially, physically, or sexually punished by the entire fraternity. Hazing continues at least up to evolution, at which point the new golduck is eager to vent their frustrations on any unfortunate psyduck or golduck that is weaker than them.
Sororities often dig create crude dams and riverside tunnel systems. Alternatively, they have been known to rest on cliff faces overlooking the water. Many Kappa Orders build large houses and give them to wild golduck fraterinities to reside in and eventually destroy. At this time another, typically better, house will be provided in short order. In 2013 then-Governor Griswold was recalled for using tax dollars to construct a lavish mansion for the wild golduck of North Hau’oli. The recount was later voided by the Commonwealth Supreme Court in an opinion written by another Kappa Order member. The golduck mansion has a paid cleaning staff and even a chef to care for the pokémon. At least one maid broke her NDA after quitting to discuss the treatment shown to her by the people and pokémon at the site. She was subsequently arrested for pokémon abuse by a Kappa alum sheriff and tried by a Kappa alum judge.
Husbandry
Psyduck are one of the very few pokémon that are best obtained as an egg and then entirely raised by humans. Virtually all psyduck raised by golduck, male or female, have behavioral disorders that are only likely to worsen with time. Psyduck raised by humans are often playful, loyal, affectionate, and surprisingly intelligent pokémon. Even outside of Kappa Order families, psyduck has gained some popularity as a starter Pokémon. Children are given the egg months before they would set off on their journey and then get to raise a pokémon under their parent’s watchful eye. By the time the journey comes around, the psyduck is grown enough to battle and has a connection with their trainer.
Wild-born male psyduck typically need a period of recuperation where they are kept away from battles and given adequate food and plenty of time to rest. Any larger pokémon that might pick on the new team member should be kept in line or at least kept away from the psyduck.
Wild-caught female psyduck and golduck tend to have problems with their diet. The best diet for psyduck and golduck is primarily based on seaweed (or freshwater grasses if readily obtainable) with crustaceans and small fish thrown in as an occasional treat. Female psyduck and golduck often outright refuse to eat anything and can suffer health consequences as a result (see Illness). Female golduck are also well-known for their misandry. Male trainers will be ignored or outright attacked. Even female trainers can see their male pokémon, friends, or relatives harassed. This problem is seldom present in females raised by humans.
Wild- and Kappa Order-raised males are known for very different behavioral issues. In particular, they are fond of shoving their hand into the anus of other pokémon and even humans. Females in particular are often targeted. They will do anything to access their beloved cucumbers and will throw tantrums if deprived. Giving in hardly makes the situation better as the newly emboldened pokémon will often break property or hurt itself or others. Males will often attempt to bully weaker pokémon on the team with occasionally lethal results. Again, these issues are seldom present in golduck raised by humans who do not emulate these behaviors.
Outside of their unique behavioral needs, golduck have more standard care requirements. Golduck prefer to have regular access to freshwater to swim in. When possible golduck should be allowed to forage for their food underwater. Alternatively, simple pokémon toys can be used for enrichment.
Female golduck naturally live in burrows. As such they like enclosed spaces and can learn to use closed-top litter boxes. Captive-raised psyduck of both sexes will happily do the same. Golduck-raised males will invariably trash any dwelling they are given and defecate wherever they wish. They are best held outside with a shed or doghouse for shelter from the elements. Be advised that the golduck will attempt to break into nearby homes out of spite. Additionally, the DNR and most district attorneys are extremely sensitive to any complaints about golduck welfare.
Illness
Golduck can get drunk by eating cucumbers due to a strange blend of bacteria in their gut. Golduck-raised males prefer to be inebriated and will do everything in their power to obtain cucumbers. Wild females and hand-reared males still enjoy occasional access as a reward. There are no direct health concerns from feeding an adult golduck a cucumber every one to three weeks. Indirect health risks include injuries suffered on accident or as a result of dares from other golduck. Long-term perpetual intoxication can lead to organ failure and death.
Females often struggle with an unwillingness to eat. Many trainers unwittingly exacerbate the problem by providing a subpar diet or limiting food intake. Female golduck, unless chronically overweight, should be allowed to eat as much food as they want. Ideally, foraging games will be provided to encourage eating. In dire situations an abundance of treat foods (eggs, cucumbers, crustaceans, fish) can be offered.
Psyduck can develop powerful migraines when under extreme stress. These headaches are nearly incapacitating and make the pokémon avoid bright lights, loud noises, and most social interaction. In this state they can also use powerful telepathic attacks. The psyduck has little to no control over these powers and is prone to hurting itself just as much as its enemies. Migraines can easily be avoided by treating the pokémon with a modicum of decency.
Evolution
Psyduck flash evolve after enduring a certain amount of lifetime stress. Male psyduck raised by golduck typically evolve nine to fifteen months after hatching. Female psyduck and hand-raised males evolve twelve to twenty months after hatching. Later evolutions tend to produce larger and more emotionally stable golduck.
Battle
Golduck have a niche as a counter to weather teams. For reasons that are currently unknown, some golduck can greatly weaken attack-summoned weather. In turn, they resist the main attacks of hail, sun, and rain teams and can punish most sand setters and abusers. Unfortunately, golduck are somewhat lacking in power or speed outside of the water and can be easily overpowered on the competitive circuits. Casual trainers do not frequently run weather teams. As such golduck are relegated to the role of a decent mixed attacker that can abuse pools of water. On the island challenge this is good enough to power through two or three islands.
Many trainers believe that psyduck are powerful telepathic attackers. This is false in captivity. In fact, a psyduck that does develop these powers is likely to result in a pokémon welfare investigation if used in any official battle. Instead, psyduck can be used as modestly powerful special attackers for their size and maturity. Water, ice, and psychic attacks can strike down relatively weak foes from a distance and desperate claw attacks can work up close. Psyduck are not built for the rigors of combat but can at least hold their own against other small pokémon until they evolve.
Acquisition
Golduck can be found in the wild in the freshwater streams and ponds of Melemele and Poni Islands. Psyduck can be captured with a Class III license. Fraternities will typically refuse to relinquish their psyduck. However, the individual psyduck will be quite happy to run away with a human if confronted alone. Proving battles are not only unnecessary but likely to convince the pokémon that his trainer is just another bully. Sororities typically do require proving battles to capture a psyduck. Be forewarned that male trainers will be rejected, perhaps violently so. It is a good idea to use a female pokémon in the proving battle.
Many “wild” psyduck and golduck are in fact owned by a Kappa Order chapter. Ordinarily it is not legal for private individuals to own pokémon that live exclusively in the wild on property not owned by the individual. There is an exception written into the law for golduck and psyduck. This is why a pokéball may fail to capture a ‘wild’ psyduck.
Golduck can also be captured with a Class III license. This is generally only viable for recently evolved females. If a golduck wants to go with a trainer, she will engage in a proving battle herself instead of sending a psyduck to do it. Male golduck rarely wish to go with a human trainer. Those that do, typically newly evolved males that are disgusted with their fraternity, will privately seek out nearby humans.
It is best to raise golduck from an egg when possible. These eggs can be obtained directly from a Kappa Order chapter at a high price. Alternatively, some local breeders sell eggs or hatchlings. Hand-reared hatchlings are typically more expensive than an egg. On balance, they are already attached to humans and the trainer does not need to raise a newborn. Psyduck can be purchased with a Class I license. Golduck require a Class II license to purchase. Neither can be adopted as all abandoned members of the line are given to the Kappa Order.
Breeding
Golduck fraternities are known to raid the territory of sororities at night. It is possible that two wild golduck have had consensual reproduction. It has just never been observed. Typically, the males will compensate for their smaller average size by taking advantage of the element of surprise or banding up with another fraternity to be able to overpower more females. In some parts of their range the females have begun setting up so-called “mixers” to make the process less painful. In these events some females will consume multiple cucumbers and then wander into fraternity territory. The fraternities, in exchange, are expected to stop raids on sororities. The process seems unpleasant for the females that do attend, but spares psyduck and absolutely unwilling golduck from the trauma of a raid.
Pregnancy lasts for five months. At this point the eggs are laid. The eggs take another six weeks to hatch. Golduck have mammary glands along their skin and release it as a form of sweat. Psyduck do not leave their burrow for the first three months of life and are not allowed to roam unsupervised for another three to four weeks.
Hand-raised golduck often mimic human relationship dynamics. They often form monogamous pairings, although they seldom mate for life. The male sometimes helps raise the children and the trainer is usually expected to help. For advice on egg incubation, consult the specialist literature. After hatching, the psyduck should be kept in a warm, enclosed space that both parents have access to. The psyduck can either be handfed or additional food can be given to the parents to distribute. Psyduck are not capable of swimming until they are three months old. Do not give a younger psyduck access to deep water.
Relatives
Golduck are native to southern Japan but have since been distributed worldwide. Particularly large concentrations exist in the American Southeast, Australia, and Eastern Europe. They are monotremes that are distant relatives of pokémon such as blissey.
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