Pokémon Journey

[Ambyssin]

Ah, yes, you know you're in for a ride when the 1.0.0.3 update changes the protagonists neutral to wield a Gun™. THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT COMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN [glass shatters in the distance]

1
-The opening hammering in our protag is a country bumpkin just brings to mind Best Wishes and that one stupid character who kept calling Kanto the boonies.
-D'aww. Vulpix. :3
-I think, perhaps, in the interest of moving into the heart of the battle itself faster, the expository bits on Brock and Luna could've probably been condensed into a line or two during the fight itself. Like Brock getting Geodude to break out of the attempted glassy prison could get a nod of "As expected from the guy who's consistently top twenty in the PWT." That said, the terrain trapping's a nifty strategy.
-Oh, the irony of throwing a happiny out at Brock's onyx. But also oh no I can't not envision her dying from radiation poisoning with that name.
-The antics are amusing, for sure, though part of me thinks Curie stalling for nine minutes with that is stretching it juuuuuust a bit. The geodude part was longer so you could probably fudge the numbers and nothing really changes.

2
-Oh okay so at least we're admitting early pokémon get eaten in this setting. I'm not sure the exact preparation process needed describing, and that's coming from someone whose job involves slicing and dicing human organs to look for diseases.
-Aww, baited with the ol' "food to buy friendship" capture scenario. RIP sand sanic.
-With a lot of expositing that goes on early here, particularly with regards to the worldbuilding, I'm curious why Marcus devotes one line to mentioning not being able to afford to lose to other trainers. They really have to wager money as opposed to just battling one another in the spirit of competition?
-Rock slides in cave situations seems like a pretty common thing for assorted journey stories, though having one caused by two graveler doing a "just guys being dudes" routine for their species is amusing.
-Turning the silly, cutesy clefairy meteor dance thingy into a "Yeah, no the fae are terrible" was actually just another bait for Marcus getting his ear nibbled by a paras, huh? I'm genuinely surprised the noise from him hitting the ground after falling unconscious didn't alert the clefable and have them do... something while he was KO'd. Especially with how you were playing up sound traveling and echoing through the cave.

3
-So you're very true to form with fearow being irate, angry peckers. I wonder why anyone would choose to catch them in universe? I guess maybe they're considered decently strong if you can tame one? We don't need no stinking BSTs.
-Wow, Gemma's remarkably generous to a complete stranger. I wonder if we'll see her again after she leaves? 🤔
-Misty? Cold-hearted? Did someone Heart Swap her with Pryce? Or Sabrina if we're staying within one region.
-Oh no trainers are glorified influencers here. Time for Marcus to talk about today's sponsor RAID SHADOW LEGENDS
-I'm assuming this caution sign is a follow up to the brief moment where Luna got skewered by a nidorino last chapter. Which would make that moment a nice bit of foreshadowing. That, combined with the title of the chapter, made it pretty clear what was going to happen here, though having the Nidoking leader being in the scrum of it and Marcus not being able to do much until Gemma dropped in (or, at least, her machamp did). Some of the jumping and rolling to his feet made me think of Legends Arceus gameplay.
-"My sister's dead, Gemma." Although I suppose those similarities in their background make them perfect for each other in that sort of twisted, poetic irony sort of way. I wonder if you plan to do anything more with the fact that Gemma sees Marcus as a replacement goldfish for that friend of hers, though...

4
-Gemma has a point, though. It's not like nidorino is a good addition for Misty if she's going to throw out a starmie.
-"Sometimes you just have to TM your way through a fight." And other times you have to PP stall. And other times you have to sac a 'mon to— oh, wait, this isn't a nuzlocke.
-I'm actually glad Marcus doesn't have to resort to throwing hands with Nidorino again. Would've felt redundant and I think the "confused but accepts" approach is good. I wonder if Pride would develop performance anxiety in an actual battle, though. Could be one route to explore.
-Oh, hey, look, that Thunderbolt and command difficulty sure sounds like performance anxiety to me.
-Y'know, hearing Marcus should Pride's name along with a "Let's show them what we're made of" and "Horn attack" is certainly something. Even with context.
-Start of the battle definitely fits with the whole "attack attack attack!" mantra you set up with the scene before. I get the point of Marcus' introspection was to show off his nerves but, like with the exposition for Brock, I think it would've left more of an impact (pun intended) to have cut to the chase with showing Staryu's all out ESP assault and using a line or two about how this lined up with what he'd studied or whatever. It is interesting, though, that the focus was so much on the spamming of a psychic-type move. I swear 95% of Misty battles focus far more on using the pool in her gym and dealing with swimming and underwater shenanigans. So, this is at least quite different.
-FUCK YEAH, SEAK— oh, rip, never mind it's still a goldeen. But even this is mostly focused on horn on horn combat instead of the water.
-"Parry the horn!" has big "Aim for the horn!" energy.
-Tan streak... speeds by. SonicLuna the vulpix. Faster than the naked eye. Luna the vulpix. 🎶
-Finally the water terrain gets used, but it's got a heavy psychic mix to it. Are we sure Misty isn't the psychic gym leader in this Kanto? I suppose Pride getting all three KOs is a heck of a way to introduce it, though that does mean my earlier comments about the whole performance anxiety thing ultimately amounted to nothing. Ah well.
-Also hi Team Rocket. You're not sneaky.
-Overall 7.8/10 battle too much waterhorn. See me after class, bub.

5
-Something about the surname "Montaigne" has me feeling like guy's sus.
-Oh, wait, Marcus' last name is Wright? Why is he a trainer? He should be in the courtroom defending people with a spunky female sidekick.
-Practically quintupled in views, eh? Yeah, I guess going from 5 to 25 would quintuple it. 😏
-Yes, Marcus you know how to put yourself in situations to be lucky. We call it "being the protagonist."
-Welp, so much for letting the good times roll. Hi again, Team Rocket. Killing a fearow sounds like overkill for... whatever device Gemma's dad is a part of cooking up. I could be cheeky and say something like the master ball, but it's probably some sort of genetic something or other that's going to lead into Mewtwo? That's how a lot of these sorts of intense Kanto fics end up going, from my experience. Good to know how Gemma has the money, though. Not just a sponsorship, then.
-Ah, yes, explosion right on cue after protecting. Let's see here. Mask? Beard? Scyther and tyranitar? Looks like a winner to me. Hi, IMM. Guess we're pulling from the anime after all. Lot of action, with Marcus trying to run the guy over like you might see in a horror movie. Or GTA. I think, for me, the explosive introduction of Team Rocket loses some merit because the other action pieces up until this point have been similarly violent. Like, maybe if the actual gym fights or even wild pokémon weren't quite so ferocious it would make IMM look like even more of a monstrous force. As it is, it's on par with things up to now, just with somewhat bigger 'mons.
-"Just got out of surgery last night ... Almost didn't make it off the table." No. No, I call hax. Maybe this pokémon world has magitek medicine for humans but if you're that poorly off following surgery you're still intubated and sedated in the ICU to give your body more time to heal.
-I do think from a pacing standpoint you'd have been better off ending this chapter with Marcus going to sleep at the Walker farm then picking things up in the next chapter. Because this stuff with the rabid tentacruel horde could have probably gotten its own chapter. This doesn't seem like some sort of random thing. Gives me Lake of Rage vibes...

6
-So, being a trainer also means you're enlisted in the draft, huh? I'm amazed it remains as popular as it is in this universe.
-Oh, now Marcus is becoming aware of his own mortality? After the IMM run in many days ago? Attention span of a fuecoco, apparently.
-So this whole thing is tentacruel and there isn't a single tentacool in the midst? That really spells Lake of Rage-style shenanigans.
-I guess mowing all the tentacruel down is meant to demonstrate how strong all these high level trainers are when they're not limited by any sort of gym battle restrictions or anything.
-Flowers and electrocution? With blonde hair? Hi, Domino. I'm a bit confused why Team Rocket thinks that Marcus is their in road to Silph. Outside of knowing Gemma, he hasn't even had his contract drawn up yet, so I doubt he's really going to get them the inside edge they're looking for. XP

7
-Interesting capture method. Still boils down to a battle to earn the cubone, but it's more like earning the approval of a very strict parent.
-0/10 Blue portrayal. Didn't say "Bonjour" when he first showed up. But I see he's in the midst of his travels instead of done with them as most OC-centric Kanto fics tend to lean if they feature him in any capacity. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was Giovanni who (directly or indirectly) got to his parents. A hit sure sounds like something the yakuza would do.
-Y'know, I think Team Rocket showing up and catching a bunch of pokémon from a secluded area like this is part of how the mewtwo movie opens. Also, I guess this is how Blue's raticate "dies" in this universe. And also also I guess this is how that ghost is going to show up in Lavender Tower, huh.

8
-Oh, hi Professor Oak. Y'know, the situation's rather grim and twisted, but something about Marcus having nearly 30 cubone in need of shelter at Oak's lab just brings to mind Ash and his thirty tauros. It has to be intentional.
-Well, there was at least a bit of downtime for the somber moment of reflection before the Rockets are right back to harassing him.
-Ah, so Surge is, apparently, on the good side this time around. I know he was in Team Rocket in the manga and I think some Kanto fics like to keep that connection. Which, to be fair, you do show him knowing Giovanni, at least. You're also not subtle dropping a few letters from his Japanese name to form his surname. >:3

9
-A triple battle, huh? Well, that's a significant difficulty bump for a third badge. And, yeah, like Surge says at the end, you can definitely feel like Marcus kinda BS'd his way through it and won because of the power of god and anime on his side. Or something. The concussion did seem to make him a bit slower on the uptake in places, I think? I didn't have trouble following the battle, at the very least.
-Oh, hi, Red. I guess we'll be seeing you around, huh?
-No, Marcus. Why would you be going off to get drinks when you've still got the whole Curie situation? (I do wonder if the Rockets having her is setting up for a forceful evolution if/when he's able to reclaim her.)
-Oh, Oak's in contact with Giovanni from the look of things. And I'm guessing he's going to challenge Red and Blue at the hideout under the Game Corner or whatever its equivalent is. There's clearly something bigger™ going on beyond just Team Rocket's usual "All pokémon exist for our glory and let's control the region" schtick.

10
-Oh, no Surge mentorship after all, huh? Something tells me the plot is not going to allow that.
-It was nice to have a bit of a more transitional chapter in an attempt at just calming things down after all the Rocket stuff from the previous few chapters. I say that, but my first instinct when Marcus got injured was that another Rocket thing was happening. It was just a heracross, though. Big ol' bug before the grass gym.

If I had to say one thing, it's that I do like that Marcus is making the most of this unconventional team. He's not getting hand all the frequently used 'mons for Kanto fics (surprising considering you have "Charizard fan" as your title). But they're also not extremely weak (stat-wise) pokémon that, within the confines of this fic's rules, would make it extremely hard for me to buy Marcus' success. So, it does sell the underdog role to a certain degree.

And, yeah, it's been a considerable amount of success over ten chapters. There's been misfortune to counterbalance, too, but the gym fights and the number of important people he's stumbled across sure is something. Along with the offers he's gotten. Guy basically has the means to get his nidoking. Just a matter of time before he figures out how to put it to use. There's continuous growth with each chapter, though I do think the caveat is that a lot of that has come from constant action. There wasn't a single chapter in this bunch that didn't involve some sort of protracted battle scene. Which, I guess, is fair for a trainer fic, especially if the chapter word count is on the longer side. But sometimes it's nice to have quieter chapters that can advance people's arcs in other ways. There are plenty more chapters up, so maybe this is true. So far, though, the quieter stuff amounts to Marcus constantly playing the dead sister card, which leaves me wonder how many times this song and dance of him bringing her up will continue.

I realize that doesn't sound the greatest. Part of it probably boils down to the fact that there's a lot of death for just ten chapters in. And, well, we never had the chance to see Marcus' sister, so the fact that she's gone leaves less of an impression. All the death of random background characters and some scattered pokémon here and there is meant to see the stakes of the setting, but it's always going to be very hit or miss for different readers. My fear is that once the fic reaches a point where a significant character or two does end up dying it's not going to hit that hard because I'll just be apathetic to all the death by then. And, despite your fic's summary, unfortunately this does veer firmly into M territory with its violence level. Marcus is stumbling across corpses and whatnot and Pride basically blasted off Starmie's limbs and speared it through its central gem. That's pretty convincing for me. Again, I cut up organs on the regular. XD

The intrigue is good enough on its own without all the deaths for me. Leaving them at "disappearances" would've been enough imo. But maybe some people do get a kick out of this level of violence and I'm just not one of them. XP

 

[Shizzza]

The hallway was dark. It smelled like sweat and blood, crude reminders of what it had taken to reach this point. There was no noise of the crowd, no searing lights for the cameras, just an old loudspeaker that crackled and fizzed as it spat out its call

Great tone setter

my hand dropping to the belt on my side. I only had two balls there

It would be weird if you had more than two balls lol.

didn't have the luxury of time. There would be no second challenge if I failed here. I'd blown through every scrap of my meagre savings and then more than half a starter training loan in pursuit of this dream. Failure meant crawling back to the smallest speck on the map and staying there for the rest of my life. I'd do what my father wanted, take over the farm, marry a girl of his choosing. Failure meant living the rest of my life in a dreary little village with every second of my life arranged by my father.

I hardened my expression. Like hell I was going back there as anything other than champion. Not after why I had left. Not after what Pa and I said to each other. I'd prove to him that I could do what I wanted. I'd be who I wanted to be.

Instantly smacks you in the face with daddy issues. Interested in seeing how this is developed.

Alright Luna, let’s get started. Confuse-wisp!"

Really like this detail. Before the battle even began, you did a great job of fleshing out this main character’s motivations without making It feel clunky, and a simple line such as this goes a long way in giving the reader a basic scope of his abilities.

Brock's prized onix appeared with and earthshaking roar.

I am fairly certain this ”and” should be replaced with “an”?

Unfortunately, my second pokemon didn't have many strengths for me to play to. She was nearly useless in battle, even when she did decide to listen to me. It was absolutely hopeless. She just didn't have a violent bone in her body. Even if she could have lifted things fifty times her size, she would never use that strength in a violent way.

Oh damn this is one of the first instances I’ve seen of a fanfic using the anime’s interpretation of Happiny’s unholy power.

My two-foot tall, ball of pink joy materialized on the field and I felt our momentum come to a crashing halt as my precious happiny goo-gooed adorably at the terrifying onix.

Happiny really opting for that death-by-adoration strategy.

Curie bounded over to the coiled onix, giggling madly. She bounded up Shale's coils and made her way towards the massive serpent's head. She puckered her lips and planted a sopping wet kiss on Shale's nose.

Bro had no idea what hit ‘em.

The onix looked back at her trainer and whined, something I had never heard from an onix before or since. She shook her head and looked back down at my gibbering happiny with a fond rumble.

The imagery being painted in my head is…pleasant.

I had no such luck. She just wailed harder, mourning her lost rock with all the fury of a confused infant. With a grim scowl, I lifted her ball off my belt and returned my happiny to her ball. I was proud of my baby girl, but at the same time my entire gambit was now at risk.

I needed Luna to be perfect now, needed my vulpix to run down the rest of the clock. I glanced up. Three minutes left. Three

Curie really fumbling the bag.

The referee's voice crackled over the loudspeakers, sounding sweeter than I had ever imagined a bored teen sounding. "After expiry of the timer, the challenger has two pokemon left to Leader Brock's one. Challenger Marcus Wright, of Yucca Village, has been declared the winner!"

FUCK YEAH.

CONTENT WARNING:

Alright, hello and welcome to Journey: Death of Duty! Before we begin, I should warn you. This story is not a traditional "happy" journeyfic. It is about found family and triumph over evil, but it does so with a darker tone than the traditional T rating. To triumph over darkness, you have to have darkness present in the story. Journey does not revel in the violence, but it is necessary to tell the story.

The Journey series is a connected universe of stories that adapt canon stories and plotlines in a cohesive manner. Check out my profile for many more stories set in this shared universe.

There are some sections with heavy violence, as well as several arcs that deals heavily with body horror. The shifts towards a darker tone begin in chapters 2 and 5, and continue from there. Be warned, and if this disclaimer didn't scare you off, enjoy the story!

PATCH NOTES: 03.12.2023

Chapter 1: Tweaked prose and dialogue to make Marcus more relateable. Expanded on opening tease of backstory. Expanded on League worldbuilding. Softened some of the overly edginess. Removed vestiges of early draft wonkiness. Removed smirking. Edited some of repetitive prose.

Chapter 2: Expanded heavily on many worldbuilding blurbs, fleshing out world. Added interactions with Marcus' team as well as more wild pokemon action. Removed Marcus' excessive preparation and introduced use of pokemon moves in non-battle use. Edited Paras incident to make injury slightly more realistic. Removed smirking. Edited some of repetitive prose. Reworked conspiracy stinger.

Chapter 3: Rework of Gemma interaction, improvement on pokemon team dynamics. Expanded worldbuilding of League and Rangers. Improved prose during Nido battle. Removed smirking. Edited some of repetitive prose.

Chapter 4: Expanded on League and sponsor system. Expanded on training scenes and team dynamics. Expanded and improved on Misty battle. Removed smirking. Edited some of repetitive prose. Reworked conspiracy stinger.

Patch Notes 06.06.2023

Chapter 5: New opening scene, including interview with media. Worldbuilding about sponsor system. New celebration scene. New motel battle with Vicious. New escape from Cerulean, including new Sabrina appearance. New Marcus backstory. New visit to Yucca Village. New characters. 8K new words. I went bonkers here.

Patch Notes 08.13.2023

Chapter 10-27: Revised with feedback from readers. Improved emotional weight throughout Sevii Arc. Marcus gets a gun when he joins the Rangers.

Boulder​

---

The hallway was dark. It smelled like sweat and blood, crude reminders of what it had taken to reach this point. There was no noise of the crowd, no searing lights for the cameras, just an old loudspeaker that crackled and fizzed as it spat out its call.

"Challenger to the field!"

I stepped forward, my hand dropping to the belt on my side. I only had two balls there, only two pokemon for this battle, but I hoped to all hell that they'd be enough.

I didn't have the luxury of time. There would be no second challenge if I failed here. I'd blown through every scrap of my meagre savings and then more than half a starter training loan in pursuit of this dream. Failure meant crawling back to the smallest speck on the map and staying there for the rest of my life. I'd do what my father wanted, take over the farm, marry a girl of his choosing. Failure meant living the rest of my life in a dreary little village with every second of my life arranged by my father.

I hardened my expression. Like hell I was going back there as anything other than champion. Not after why I had left. Not after what Pa and I said to each other. I'd prove to him that I could do what I wanted. I'd be who I wanted to be.

Yucca village was a small farming community, not even on most maps unless you bought a local regional map from the northern gate of Saffron City and managed to find the smallest dot on it. Our proudest moment was when the hamlet of a half dozen families got mentioned on the evening news one time nearly twelve years back for naming our village after the cash crop we were most known for. Nobody new every came. Nobody ever left. Except for me.

I stepped onto my platform, heart pounding in my chest. I was surprised by the few spectators in the stands clapping for me. I was a nobody, a bumpkin from a tiny stinking backwater that didn't even rate a mention on any local travel guides. I'd be lucky if I even earned a slot in the evening league recaps for my first attempt at a gym challenge. Unless I did something spectacular, of course.

I hoped that it was recorded. I wanted at least some record of this, for my own sense of selfish pride and vindication. I wanted some record of the validation that I was looking for. Maybe I could even pay Brock for a copy of the tape, to send back to my Pa so he could see I wasn't completely full of shit and could actually be a real trainer. For a brief moment, I contemplated if he would even watch something like that, before forcing my mind away from my messy family life to the battle at hand.

The platform jolted and rose towards the hole in the ceiling. I rose above the field, blocking out the stadium lights as my eyes adjusted to the sudden glare. I nervously tapped my fingers against the pair of balls on my belt.

The battlefield was a mess of rocks and sandy dunes, with a single massive rock that had been hollowed out serving as the arena's centrepiece. Many a challenger had attempted to use the hollow network of tunnels and chambers to their advantage and found themselves outclassed by an enemy that knew every corner of the arena as if it were their homes.

Brock was already waiting, standing implacably atop his command platform. He had forgone a shirt, his arms crossed over his chest and clearly flexing to show off his impressive muscles. I wasn't afraid of the bravado, I knew it was for show. He wanted me off balance, fretting over appearances while he picked away at at my team.

I was a novice, but that didn't mean I was an idiot. I'd watched enough of Brock's battles to know his basic tactics. I'd devoured the footage of every single novice challenge to Brock that I'd been able to find. He liked to play direct, while he heckled you to keep you off balance.

Brock was an elite-level trainer, one of Kanto's Gym Leaders. He'd been Pewter's Leader for almost fifteen years, after his father before him. He was a powerful trainer, placing in the top twenty in last year's Pokemon World Tournament and consistently rating in the top five of Indigo's combined circuit.

He was also the traditional first gym of the Kanto gym circuit, a bar that every serious Kantoan trainer had to clear. Maybe Erika would have been an easier first gym challenge for me, but it was probably better if I got Brock out of the way early on. He had a reputation of being one of the tougher intermediate and elite gym challenges.

The referee's voice boomed out through the loudspeakers and I flinched. It was louder than I'd expected. "This will be a novice-level challenge to the Pewter City Gym leader by trainer Marcus Wright, of Yucca Village. Leader Brock will use two novice-ranked pokemon, with no substitutions. The challenger may use as many pokemon as he is able to, with two substitutions. The battle will end when twenty minutes has elapsed or one of the participants is unable to continue the battle."

I nodded, remaining silent and keeping my expression calm. I wasn't giving Brock a damn thing, not false confidence, no boasting bravado. I was a novice, a beginner who hadn't earned a single badge let alone even challenged a gym yet. I hadn't earned any confidence yet, even if I privately thought I had a damn good chance. Brock could have a cocky smirk from me once I'd earned one.

Brock nodded and raised his first ball. I knew it was a geodude before he even reached for the ball. His novice teams were pretty consistent, usually just a geodude and an onix. Sometimes he replaced the geodude with a graveler, but that was usually reserved for higher level novices. Beginners like me didn't warrant that kind of effort, something that I was counting on. He tossed the ball into the air. Sure enough, the little floating rock appeared from the flash of red light.

I lifted my first ball and set my stance. I would start strong, and give Brock a taste of what I was made of. I may have been a novice, but I was absolutely not a pushover. It was important to show that, something Pa taught me on the farm. You couldn't let people push you around. I may not have agreed with my Pa about many things, but he had a point about that.

I tossed my first ball into the air with a firm expression. My starter appeared in a flash of red light. A little vulpine pokemon growled menacingly at the rock opposite it, flaring her tails aggressively. Her opponent had the type advantage, but I had learned the hard way never to count Luna out of the fight.

My vulpix was a tenacious little monster, well used to fighting unorthodox battles in environments that favoured our opponents. Our month spent making agonizingly slow progress westward over the roughshod path that traversed Mount Moon had paid impressive dividends. A geodude should be no problem for her.

"Your move, rookie!" Brock shouted. "Challengers first!"

I nodded. I knew that, of course. I'd been studying training almost my whole life. It had been my dream since the very first Indigo Conference I'd ever watched. So what if it had taken me longer than most trainers to start my journey? So what if I wasn't a fresh faced thirteen year old? I was ready now, there was no backing down.

"Alright Luna, lets get started. Confuse-wisp!"

I saw Brock's eyebrow raise from across the field. He hadn't expected a combo move, not from a novice like myself. Heck, I hadn't expected to have a combo move ready yet either but Luna was a tenacious learner and had proven me wrong to master the combo.

"Don't let it set up!" Brock shouted. "Get in close!"

Luna barked, a burning ball of eerie blue flame erupting out of her mouth. With a flash of her eyes, the flame soared into the air. Wisps of supernatural light followed the flame, dancing across the battlefield towards our opponent.

The geodude wasn't idle, for its part. But there wasn't much it could do. Luna was quick. It was very definitely the exact opposite of quick. It tucked its arms into its body and threw itself into a rollout, a vain attempt to dodge the attack and close the distance between them.

The wispy flame slammed into the geodude mid-roll, doing nothing to affect its momentum but still painting it a glowing red. That hadn't been the intent though. Luna would probably never be able to outright stop a geodude mid-roll, not even once she evolved into a ninetales. Creative evasion and distruption were our only real hopes at breaking through its defence.

"Now, quick attack!" I ordered.

Luna shot off like a rocket, darting out of the geodude's path with practiced ease. The rock type attempted to compensate and follow, but careened off course. It plowed into one of the hundred boulders dotting the arena and cracked the gigantic stone in half as easily as I could crack an egg. I grimaced internally. That would hurt if it landed. Luna needed to be perfect, and the geodude only had to land one solid blow. It was a recipe for disaster.

However, reality proved far less pessimistic than I was. Luna kept up the assault, painting the geodude with eerie wisps of flame and forcing it to fight an uneven battle as we whittled it down. It wasn't the boldest strategy, or the flashiest. Hell, it wasn't even a particularly brave tactic.

That didn't matter to me. It limited how much damage Luna would take. My entire gym challenge hinged on her doing the heavy lifting in this battle and clearing plenty of time off the clock with the first battle. Slow and steady suited us just fine.

The geodude changed tactics, slamming into another boulder and smashing it into pebbles. It didn't look like it had taken much damage at all, but rock types were like that sometimes. Something to do with their heavy outer carapace or something makes them more resistant to physical damage. I wasn't really an expert, so I don't know for sure.

Resistant however, did not mean immune. It had plowed through at least half a dozen of those boulders chasing after Luna as well as taken so many of Luna's wisps that the rock pokemon was glowing bright red. It had to at least be feeling something at this point.

I spotted the opening I had been hoping for. The geodude wobbled slightly and shook the confusion from its eyes. It dug both hands into the ground, tearing loose a slab of rock that had been hidden under the sand and raising it above its head.

"Another confuse ray!"

Another spinning helix of eerie lights erupted from my vulpix. They sank into the geodude's eyes and I nodded knowingly as a slack expression crossed the rock type's face. It's arms wavered and bent as the slab of rock dipped dangerously back towards it.

"Toss it away! Now!" Brock was shouting, realizing the threat. It was too late though.

His geodude attempted to pitch the slab as hard as it could. But its dizzied confusion had already taken a toll. The stone slab slipped free of the geodude's hands as it fumbled the throw. It crashed down on top of the little rock, utterly crushing it and pinning it beneath.

My eager grin probably burned into Brock's mind permanently. I pointed forward with a simple, decisive order. "Incinerate!"

Luna leapt atop the cracked stone slab, hunting for a suitable crack. She found one within seconds, all while we could hear the geodude angrily struggling to break free. She puffed her chest out and inhaled deeply. A torrent of flame poured from my little vulpix, superheating the slab of rock and melting the sand beneath.

Now, I knew that the fire itself wouldn't do much to the geodude. They were practically immune to pain and they'd take more heat to melt than Luna could produce. But that wasn't the point of the attack. I didn't have anything that could hit them effectively. Given time, Luna may have been able to whittle it down, but we had to at least take out one of Brock's pokemon. My only choice was to trap it, so that Brock would be forced to concede his geodude. It was an unorthodox tactic, to say the least, but I didn't have the strength to stand up in a straight up brawl yet.

As the sand beneath the slab melted further, I looked over at Brock. His arms were held calmly at his side. His hands were clenched into tight fists, betraying his outwardly calm expression. He had seconds before the molten sand hardened into a tomb of glass, seconds before his geodude was trapped and I won this round. "Rollout!"

I grimaced as I played it out in my mind. It could work. "Get clear of it!" I shouted, too late to make a real difference.

The geodude rocketed through the glowing sand, emerging from the ground several meters away. It was bright red, dripping with liquid glass and burning with heat. We had it on the ropes, but now the little ball of rock was gonna try to turn the tables on us.

Luna leapt away from the geodude's attack, barely rolling out of the way as the glowing rock barrelled past. It crashed through another boulder and barely slowed down as pebbles showered down on the battlefield.

"Get inside the big rock!" I ordered, hoping that Luna had enough left to keep the speed up until the geodude ran out of steam.

She turned on her tail and bolted, sand kicking up in her wake. The geodude was coming around, still gaining speed as it looped around the arena.

I saw it coming. Luna wouldn't be quick enough to avoid the geodude. It would smash into her side and the battle would be over.

"Incinerate!" I shouted again. "Melt the sand in its path!"

Luna, bless her little soul, knew exactly what to do. She planted her feet as the geodude rounded the arena and bore down on her. She puffed her chest out and sucked in a quick breath. It wasn't as powerful as the last one, but the jet of flame that she spat was still enough to melt a patch of sand several feet wide into a pool of sludgy liquid glass.

The geodude plowed into the puddle, spewing globs of red hot magma in its wake. Luna dove for the side, too slowly to avoid the geodude. They collided and Luna yelped something fierce as the scorching hot ball of rock tossed her like a flailing rag doll and crashed face-first into the central boulder.

I raised her ball, ready for the end of the round. She'd done enough, and I needed her for Brock's second pokemon. The geodude had to be—.

"Leader Brock's first pokemon has been defeated. The challenger has taken the first round."

I leapt nearly a foot in the air, not expecting the referee's voice to come so soon. I forced down the feeling of elation and recalled my starter, knowing that the easy part of the battle was done. What came next would be immeasurably harder.

Brock smirked and nodded to himself. "You're good, better than I expected for a novice." Now it was Brock's turn to wear the shit-eating grin and he knew it. "Still, this isn't over and we both know that." He lifted another ball off the pedestal on his platform and tossed it into the air. "Let's see how you handle Shale!"

Brock's prized onix appeared with and earthshaking roar. She tossed back her pale green tinted head and screeched a defiant challenge as she stretched up to her full height. I knew what to expect. Shale was Brock's pride and joy, bred from the titanic onix that fought on Brock's championship team. She was a pale green, almost twelve feet long, with flecks of silver metal running through the boulders that made up her serpentine body.

It was a side effect of her parentage, something to do with being the offspring of Brock's first onix and Galar's Raihan's prized duraludon. She would be a monster in a few years, but right now she was just a baby. I was relying on that youth for my plan.

It made for a damn impressive showing. I knew my second pokemon would look downright feeble compared to it, but that's what I expected at this point. It was common practice for Gym Leaders to use at least one pokemon that outclassed anything you could throw at it. Helped you think on your feet and formulate strategies that played to the strengths of your pokemon. It also made the Pokemon League into a true challenge that was not for the faint of heart.

Unfortunately, my second pokemon didn't have many strengths for me to play to. She was nearly useless in battle, even when she did decide to listen to me. It was absolutely hopeless. She just didn't have a violent bone in her body. Even if she could have lifted things fifty times her size, she would never use that strength in a violent way.

But if I presented the battle as playtime? It could work to buy me some more time off the clock. Time that we didn't stand a chance in outright battle. Maybe it was a little unethical, but sometimes League battles involved sneaky technicalities.

I raised my second pokeball and grinned with anticipation. Now I'd earned the right to some confidence. Brock had seen my strength. Now he would see my smarts.

"Play time, Curie!"

My two-foot tall, ball of pink joy materialized on the field and I felt our momentum come to a crashing halt as my precious happiny goo-gooed adorably at the terrifying onix.

Brock couldn't help the burst of laughter that came forth. His rock snake mirrored him, shaking the entire arena with deep rumbling laughter.

Now, Curie might not be a violent soul but she can stall a battle somewhat effectively if she's coaxed into it the right way. She was a baby. All she really wanted to do was play, and if I could present the battle as a game then she'd cooperate for the most part. At least as long as her attention span held out and her opponent was willing to go along with it. I figured Shale just might be young enough to engage in some impromptu play.

So I did the only thing I could. I blatantly lied to my little baby. I got down on one knee, looking down at Curie with a happy smile on my face. "Hey, Curie!" I shouted.

She looked up at the sound of my voice and started hopping happily at the sight of me. It melted my damn heart.

I pointed over at Shale, putting on my playful voice. "See that big mean looking onix?" I asked. "She wants to play!"

Curie hopped up and down on the spot, looking back and forth between Shale and I. She squealed happily and bounded towards the onix without waiting for my command.

Brock stopped his laughing and raised an eyebrow. "Defence curl!" He ordered. Shale rumbled a response and coiled herself around a boulder. My little happiny wouldn't be able to do a single thing to hurt the onix, which was fine by me. That was never the plan anyways.

We had a timer with twelve minutes left on it. All we had to do was run out the clock. I still had two conscious pokemon left to Brock's one. I'd win if Curie could change the terms of the battle itself.

Curie bounded over to the coiled onix, giggling madly. She bounded up Shale's coils and made her way towards the massive serpent's head. She puckered her lips and planted a sopping wet kiss on Shale's nose.

Now it was time for Brock to learn the hard way why I still had confidence that I could pull off a win. Curie might not have had a hope in hell at actually defeating Shale in battle, but she was a charming little angel. Once she sunk her adorable little claws into you, you were completely at her mercy.

Shale raised her head, studying the little ball of joy on her coils. Curie cooed at the terrifying rock monster, melting that stone heart as easily as she did mine. Shale rumbled softly and nudged her opponent with her nose.

"Shale! Knock it off!"

The onix looked back at her trainer and whined, something I had never heard from an onix before or since. She shook her head and looked back down at my gibbering happiny with a fond rumble.

Curie pulled the small, smooth stone from her pouch and held it up towards Shale. The onix rumbled again, low and slow. Shale lowered her head and nuzzled my Curie affectionately.

Brock was absolutely livid at the ploy. He was booming out commands, his face bright red. Shale was completely ignoring his frantic commands, enamoured with Curie's adorable antics. She was nuzzling Curie with her snout and laughing deeply when the little happiny planted another kiss on her.

As I had been expecting, Shale was not immune to Curie's adorable charm. She was a monstrous serpent, a titanic mass of solid stone and yet she was at the mercy of a two foot tall pink blob. Curie had succeeded in changing the terms of the battle entirely.

Minutes passed. The clock ticked down as Brock repeated his commands over and over. There was a small murmur in the minuscule crowd as we passed six minutes left on the clock and Curie started a game of peek-a-boo.

Then, disaster struck at the two minute mark. Shale must have shifted as she laughed, because Curie stumbled on the uneven footing and flopped onto her back. Hard. I winced, knowing that we were all in very deep shit.

Curie's little rock, the one she had offered to Shale, bounced off the onix's coils and rolled into the sand as Curie watched on in abject horror. I plugged my ears with two fingers, waiting for the inevitable outburst.

Curie absolutely exploded with sound, wailing at the top of her infantile lungs. Shale recoiled from the noise, wincing and shutting her eyes. They were across the arena from me, still at Shale's starting position. Curie's agonized wail was still ear-piercing at this distance. I could scarcely imagine the discomfort that Brock was feeling, let alone the punishment Shale's eardrums were enduring.

Shale lashed out, flinging Curie across the arena with a flick of her tail. Curie bounced twice and came to a crashing halt against the hollow boulder in the centre of the arena.

I sucked in a sharp breath, fearing for nothing as my happiny bounced to the ground unharmed. She slumped to the floor and slammed her little feet with a furious tantrum as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Curie! Hide and seek!" I shouted, hoping desperately that she would forget the little round stone she had dropped and stop wailing long enough to hear me.

I had no such luck. She just wailed harder, mourning her lost rock with all the fury of a confused infant. With a grim scowl, I lifted her ball off my belt and returned my happiny to her ball. I was proud of my baby girl, but at the same time my entire gambit was now at risk.

I needed Luna to be perfect now, needed my vulpix to run down the rest of the clock. I glanced up. Three minutes left. Three minutes of Luna evading a twelve foot rock serpent in an enclosed arena.

That had been the crux of my whole strategy. Neither Curie nor Luna had anywhere near the strength to bring down Shale. Our only hope at victory was a prayer that we could win on a technicality. If I could outlast Brock, run the clock out without Luna going down, then I would win the match. I still had two conscious pokemon to Brock's one. I would win by virtue of outlasting a titanic onix that I couldn't even scratch.

I lifted Luna's ball and mouthed a silent prayer. There were no more substitutions. It was just me against Brock, Luna against Shale, raging fire against stoic stone. I tossed Luna's ball and breathed deeply as my confidence came flooding back. We could do this.

"Alright Luna, remember the plan." I nodded and looked up at Shale, trying to project some confidence. "Use your strengths and keep her confused. Be fast, be smart, be strong."

My vulpix looked up at me, eerie light already flickering behind her eyes. She knew exactly what she had to do, what I expected of her. She snorted a puff of smoke at me, as if outrunning a 4 ton rock serpent was beneath her.

Brock took the first move, ordering Shale into pursuit of Luna. His onix didn't even wait for him to finish, lunging forward in an attempt to end the battle quickly.

Luna was gone in a flash, bounding out of Shale's path faster than the onix could turn. A barrage of levitating blue flames slammed into Shale's side, superheating the stones and drawing a rumble of annoyance from the onix. It wouldn't do much, but there was a chance it would slow Shale down.

"Quick attack!" I shouted as Shale pivoted on the centre of her body. She swung a bladed tail through the sand, wiping away a pair of small boulders that had the misfortune of standing in the wrong spot. Luna was a rust-coloured blur, dashing out of the way of Shale's tail in a spray of sand.

She was quick, but Shale was faster than a gigantic rock monster had any right to be. Fortunately, we had a way to slow the massive onix down. We just had to land it.

"Confuse wisp!" I shouted.

Luna skidded to a halt, eerie wisps of burning ghostly light conjuring from nothingness. They spun off towards Shale as Luna dashed away from the Onix's descending tail. It slammed into the ground, throwing sand into the air with the impact.

I swore under my breath. Brock had covered his ass well and trained Shale very effectively. Luna was faster, but not by enough for me to get comfortable. The battle was going to come right down to the wire.

"Get clear!" I shouted. "Long range barrage now, confuse wisp!"

Luna scrambled away from the thrashing serpent, kicking up a spray of sand behind her as she went. She skidded to a halt halfway across the arena and spun to face the onix.

Before she could cough out a single wisp a boulder slammed into the ground not three feet away from her. Luna yelped in surprise and dashed away, barely avoiding the second boulder that crashed down where she had been standing mere moments before.

"Top speed quick attack!" I shouted, knowing that Shale held damn near every advantage without confusion muddying her mind. "Find cover!"

Luna turned in a blur, weaving through the barrage of rocks that Shale was pitching at her with ease. She ducked and weaved, cutting and turning just in time to avoid each incoming rock. I felt my pride swell in my chest as my precious little vulpix motored at speeds that would have even impressed an agility boosted mon.

She dashed in as Shale went long, abandoning the confuse wisp for a faster and simpler confuse ray. The spinning helix of ghostly lights sank into Shale's head and the Onix's eyes went dim. Luna doubled back as her opponent launched another barrage of earth, simply scraping up a layer of dirt and sand and flinging it at Luna.

My vulpix retreated beyond the range of Shale's tail and spat an ember of flame that smacked harmlessly against the onix's carapace. She dashed away as Brock ordered another barrage of rocks.

Shale roared in frustration as her last boulder sailed just wide and crashed harmlessly into the sand. She surged forwards as the clock ticked down to the last twenty seconds.

Luna turned as the onix gave chase, cutting close to the massive hollow structure in the centre of the arena. It was a gambit, banking on Shale moving too quickly to turn easily. Shale slammed into the base of the boulder when she cut too closely, shaking the entire damn arena.

Luna was gone, disappeared into the rock. Less than fifteen seconds was left on the clock, but our greatest advantage was nullified in close quarters. All Shale had to do was twitch the wrong way and Luna would be crushed up against the wall.

Ten seconds left as Shale disappeared into the boulder.

Seven seconds left and the arena shook as Shale found her prey inside the rock.

Five seconds left and the arena shook violently with a titanic impact.

Three seconds left and Luna peeked out of the top of the rock.

Two seconds and Shale was following her onto the top of the rock.

One second left and Luna was out of space. There was nowhere to go. Shale was raising herself to her full height. My precious starter was trapped and we were out of options.

The horn blared and I exhaled the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. I unclenched my fists, breathing calmly as my heart pounded in my chest. It was over.

The referee's voice crackled over the loudspeakers, sounding sweeter than I had ever imagined a bored teen sounding. "After expiry of the timer, the challenger has two pokemon left to Leader Brock's one. Challenger Marcus Wright, of Yucca Village, has been declared the winner!"

I didn't hear the small smattering of cheers from the stands. I didn't hear the referee continue to drone on about my victory. I had won, I had beaten Brock. My eyes found Luna and I didn't care to hide the tears of joy that fell freely. I was a trainer now. For real. And there wasn't a damn thing anybody could do to change that.

---

Pokédex Entry #95: Onix

Onix are large, serpentine pokemon that are native to nearly all mountain ranges in the Kan-Jo supercontinent. They serve as the region's supreme apex predator, capable of going toe to toe against any landlocked opponent.

Nearly fifty feet long when fully grown, most onix resemble titanic serpents made from a series of connecting boulders. A few specimens have been comprised of darker, harder boulders. This is possibly a result of the aging process.

Unfortunately, study opportunities are exceedingly limited due to the species' aggressive nature. Most specimens succumb to battle wounds long before they age to maturity, and even fewer survive to old age. Legends persist of an ancient onix comprised of solid diamond, but few credible sources can confirm this with any reliability.

---

Novice Trainer, KT#07966101, Marcus Wright

Luna, Vulpix

Curie, Happiny

Okay! Here is a general review of this chapter!
Hello Josh, I am here from Catnip! The quotes you just saw was a more live reaction, while what you are currently reading is more so just me making an actual review after a while of brain power.
Marcus as a character instantly strikes me as a mixture of the usual ambitious trainer with a clear tint of originality, his team is already quite diverse and I really do like your inclusion of Happiny and the fundamentals behind it. We Stan Curie in this household!
The action and imagery in this chapter is also superb. Some of the action moments in the battle really got me thumping and made it so super easy to digest this chapter quickly. Your writing style is amazing, and the fights are well-rounded while also original.
This fic is clearly on the darker side of things, but I also really like your delivery of the more depressing aspects. Marcus’s underlying family drama is very cleverly handled and both feeds the reader enough information to get a good grasp over him, while also keeping him hooked with the small doses of information. The Pokémon are also well characterized early on, Vulpix being the loyal first mate and Curie being the erratic, immature baby.
That’s really all I had to say! This first chapter really sets the tone for the story, and I am so glad catnip brought me here.
See you in my later reviews, Journey Guy!

 

[Joshthewriter]

Journey

Death of Duty

Part 7: The Fall of the Pokemon League

Trap​

---

Hateful ways lead to hateful resolutions. — Archibald Maxon, eco-terrorist​

---

Saffron was burning. The walled city was belching thick clouds of black smoke into the sky, the fires below casting the smoke clouds in hellish red light. A barrage of missiles sailed over the walls and slammed into one of the skyscrapers, a forking bolt of lightning trying and failing to stop the ordnance.

We'd teleported onto a hill west of the city that overlooked the approach from Celadon. Too many truck tires and armoured tracks to count had torn the picturesque natural Route to shreds. It was a muddy, desolate scar in the forests of central Kanto.

"Fucking shit," Karen swore pointedly.

I nodded in agreement. "We need to make contact with Surge. I'd bet anything that bolt was him."

I glanced down at my pokegear. I still had no reply from Janine or Surge. Surge was probably already neck deep in the fighting, but I didn't know if Janine had committed Fuchsia forces to the battle.

"Get us closer," I said to Will. "There has to be some kind of command centre outside the city."

"I have it," he replied. "There's a camp outside the walls. Hundreds of people."

"Get us there."

His alakazam touched my shoulder, and the familiar sensation of being submersed in water washed over me. The scene shifted, to a dozen or so tents arrayed against Saffron's wall. People were laid out in rows, a few nurse and doctors rushing from patient to patient.

A hastily constructed wooden tower sat beside a roadblock that barred the entrance to Saffron. We jogged up to the guard post on the road, the four men standing there eying us nervously.

One of the men raised his rifle. Another thumbed the safety off. The two up on the guard tower looked down at us stoically.

"Halt," ordered the one in the officer's cap. "Saffron is locked down. Civilians are advised to stay away."

"I'm with the Rangers," I started. "I need to get in contact with Surge."

The officer raised an eyebrow. "You're a Ranger?" he asked in a tone of obvious disbelief.

"Ranger Corporal Marcus Wright, attached to Lieutenant Colonel Surge's Zapdos Squad." I glanced up at the men on the watchtower. They had stiffened their backs and were looking down with severe expressions. "I was on leave when the fighting broke out, but I came as soon as I could."

He looked past me in suspicion, at the two mercenaries and Leaf. "And they are?"

"Some likeminded trainers," I replied. "we're here to help."

'They're going to attack,' Will whispered in my mind. 'Something has happened. They've turned against the Rangers. The entire army has.'

I sucked in a breath. My eyes darted up to the men on the guard tower. One of them was listening intently to his earpiece. The other was discretely checking the chamber of his weapon.

I took a half step back and felt something hit me from the side. Will catapulted me to the left as he sprung into action. Gunfire rang out as I crashed into Leaf, bowling her over. I heard a loud pop and a pained grunt, then the heavy sound of a body crashing down to earth.

"Will, we got more of them coming from the gates!" Karen shouted from above us. "Too many to handle."

I forced myself up, hauling Leaf up as I glanced up at Karen. She was standing up on the guard tower, one of the guards bleeding at her feet. The other had fallen headfirst beside the prone, twitching officer.

These two trainers were far more than they appeared to be. But I didn't have the time to contemplate that. A bullet ricocheted off the road beside me as if to punctuate that point. We needed to get out of here.

"Get us to that rooftop," I ordered, snapping into motion. "Now!"

Will spun, releasing his alakazam and gardevoir again. He spun back to me, and Karen stepped out from behind him. The alakazam held up a spoon, halting the rain of bullets.

"I can't guarantee it'll be the right rooftop," he replied. "It was too far."

The soldiers were lining up, raising their rifles. As powerful as Will's alakazam likely was, I didn't want to test that strength.

The scene shifted as the firing line erupted, and the familiar dunk into icy water swept us away.

---

We reappeared atop one of the buildings in Saffron. Smoke was billowing from another skyscraper, obscuring our view to the northeast. I glanced over the side of the building roof. It didn't look like our building had taken much, if any structural damage. We were safe for the moment.

I dug into my pack once I realized that the rooftop was empty. If Surge had been here, he wasn't anymore. "Leaf," I said.

The girl appeared at my side and I handed her the binoculars in my pack.

"Scan the nearby rooftops for Surge," I said. "If you can't find him, get a look at the Silph Tower. Rocket's probably positioned their forces around the building to keep us away as long as possible."

She nodded and walked over to the edge of the roof, scanning the city for me.

I rounded on Will and Karen with Leaf distracted, both of whom were panting heavily. "You two aren't telling me something," I started. "and it's connected somehow, to something that's been confusing me since I first took on Rocket."

Will glanced over at Karen. "Well, I'm a—"

"I know you're a psychic," I replied. "I'm familiar enough with them, and I've got a rudimentary sense of their abilities because of Luna."

My gaze shifted over to Karen. I caught the way Will's breath quickened and his eyes darted between Karen and I. "You, on the other hand…"

Karen smirked coyly. "What about me, darling?"

"Janine said something when we met on Sawtooth. She said that there was a 'Shade' in play." Will's sharp breath gave it away. I was on the right track. "Luna couldn't sense either of you."

"Most psychics can't," Karen replied. She glanced over at Will and nodded. The lanky mercenary visibly relaxed. "Will can't even sense me most of the time and I've been travelling with him since we were both fresh faced trainers."

"What is a Shade?" I asked directly. "And how the hell do they avoid psychics?"

Karen sighed and I sensed some frustration on her part. "Look," she started. "this is the kind of thing that people get told they're crazy for believing in."

"I've seen some pretty unbelievable things," I replied. "I need to know how Rocket keeps avoiding Luna's psychic detection."

Karen raised an eyebrow. "That… shouldn't be possible," she said slowly. "It's far too rare for that."

I stared at her expectantly. Leaf did the same.

Karen sighed heavily. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you. No use in you not knowing what I can do if we're on the same side."

She held up a hand and glanced up at the rising sun. "This would work better if the sun was down, but it's enough for a demonstration."

The shadow cast by her hand seemed to writhe free of its natural position. It retreated towards her and wrapped around Karen's arm, obscuring it with a smoky veil of shadow.

"A Shade is a human who is somehow attuned to the dark type," she said. "at least, that's what my mother told me. Every other dark trainer I've met has no clue what I'm talking about." She shrugged. "I'd bet Janine knows more than I do if she knows what a Shade is."

She shook her head. "That's not the point." She offered me a smile, trying to show me she was being honest. "I can do things in the dark that shouldn't be possible. I can step through shadows, reappearing in any connected shadows. I can disappear almost completely in the dark. And psychics… they can't sense me, especially at night."

I glanced over at Will. "Is all this true?" I asked.

"Have you ever met anyone who seemed to be able to do impossible things?" he asked, flipping the focus back into me. "I can do strange things with my mind that I hardly even understand. Is it not plausible that other people can do things related to other types?"

"You're a psychic," I said. "we've measured the part of the brain that possesses that psychic ability. We understand where it comes from."

"Hardly," he replied. "and so little about how or why some humans have these abilities and others do not." He shook his head. "Something has happened to humanity. Some of us… are changed by their connections to pokemon."

I remained silent, thinking on what he'd said. Karen had probably been the only person I'd seen to explicitly show something extraordinary other than psychics.

"Have you every wondered why so many trainers seem to train only one or two types?" Will continued, pressing me further.

"I figured it was for ease of care. Probably easier to care for 6 of the same types instead of a diverse team."

He shrugged. "That's probably somewhat true," he said. "The phenomenon is rare enough that most monotype trainers are likely not attuned themselves."

"But it's real," Karen said. "I've seen thing that shouldn't be possible, fought people that could do incredible things. You can't tell me it's not real because I've seen it myself."

I stayed silent. It was almost absurd. Almost.

It hit me at that moment. I did know someone like that.

"Blaine," I said suddenly. "it was something that his grandson said."

Karen smirked, knowing she'd led me to the conclusion she was right.

"He said that Cinnabar should have blown 15 years ago. But Blaine kept it from blowing the entire time." I looked over at Will. "He was attuned to the fire type. He had to be. How else would he know the intricacies of lava flow well enough to hold off an eruption for that long?"

Neither of them said anything, just smiled and nodded at me.

"He lives in the goddamn volcano," I said with a grin. "how the hell didn't I see that?"

"But," Karen continued. "getting back to your question about how Rocket is avoiding your ninetales."

I looked back at her.

"It shouldn't be possible," she said. "Like I said, I've never met anyone else like me. I've heard stories about a Unovan elite that make me think she could be the same, but I could never get a meeting with her" She shook her head. "Unless they managed to replicate some of those abilities…"

I scowled. "Rocket's twisted science a thousand times. I wouldn't put it past them." My gaze shifted to Will. "Is there really no way to sense a Shade?"

He frowned. "Not in the way that psychics sense most things," he replied. "but there are some telltale traces and signs of their presence."

"Would you be able to show Luna how to recognize those signs?"

He nodded slowly. "She should already be able to see the signs," he said. "I can help her understand them."

I released her beside Will and relayed what was going to happen to her. Luna nodded confidently and I turned away to face Leaf.

"Anything?" I asked.

She shook her head and handed the binoculars over. "No sign of Surge at all," she said. "but there are uniforms all over the streets."

I peered down at the street below. She was right. Soldiers had blocked off a number of the side roads and alleyways that would have allowed us freedom of movement and built up defensive positions on the main road. I couldn't see a single pokemon among them. They weren't Rangers, that was for sure.

By chance, the view from this building gave me a decent look at the courtyard plaza in front of Silph Tower. The pristine pictures I'd seen looked nothing like the cratered and rubble strewn bulwark it had been turned into. I saw at least three machine gun nests, as well as a network of sandbag walls bristling with armed guards.

"Well, we aren't walking in the front door…" I looked back the other way, scanning for any opportunities we could use. "Unless we find a whole lot more manpower than we have."

Leaf flipped out her pokegear, silencing the swelling guitar riff before it could get us noticed. "It's Red," she said. "Pallet got hit pretty bad, but they'll get here once they've got the fire under control."

I grimaced. Rocket had given us what we thought was an opening and we'd walked right into the trap. "Hope everyone's alright," I said with my mind on Acolyte and the cubone.

"Marcus," Karen said. "we need to get off the street. There's too many for us to take, and we don't know if we even have Ranger backup."

I glanced at her, then down at Leaf's pokegear. I'd have thought that civilian communications would have been down, but if they were still working then I had an idea. "Get inside," I said. "I've got a call to make."

---

"It is damn good to hear your voice, Novice."

I cracked a grin despite the dire situation. "Well, I figured it was time to finally visit my sponsor in person."

Gemma chuckled on the other end of the line. "You picked a terrible time for it." I heard the humour in her voice die. "The army's here. They're… they're saying some bad things about the Rangers."

"Well I've got some choice words myself for the army." I hoped sincerely that Gemma hadn't bought whatever story they'd cooked up. "But this is bigger than them. It's bigger than the Rangers."

I heard other voices in the background, before Gemma shushed them loudly. "Would this have to do with the man who attacked us in Cerulean?"

"Gemma, I swear I've never been happier to be able to talk about this shit." I shook my head. "I've wanted to ever since I got to Vermillion, but first they had Curie and then—"

"Curie's alive?" she asked suddenly. "You said—"

"Yeah, I know what I said." It was my turn to sigh. "I didn't know who I could trust and they had access into Silph's mobile networks."

For one of the few times since I'd met her, Gemma was silent.

"Look, I didn't like lying about it. I had to keep her safe, it was the only way."

"It's ok, Novice," she said with a smile in her voice. "Curie's ok and that's what matters." She paused for a moment. "I get the sense that you aren't calling to say hello."

It was my turn to chuckle. "You'd be right," I said. "I need into Silph. Without the army trying to kill us."

I heard the stunned silence on the other end.

"Look, I know how it sounds. But the guy who attacked us in Cerulean, he was part of a bigger organization. They've infiltrated Silph looking for the project your father has been working on." I took a breath and hoped that she was inclined to listen. "It's a prototype pokeball, the most powerful ever created. They want it to capture an enhanced clone of the pokemon, Mew."

She took a moment. I couldn't blame her. "That's… a lot," she said slowly. "but how does that involve the Rangers and the Army fighting it out in Saffron?"

"You've got me there," I replied. "I don't know what happened. But this goes all the way up to Lance. Maybe him or Giovanni pulled some strings or something."

Gemma sucked in a sharp breath. "Giovanni? Like… Viridian Gym Leader Giovanni?"

"Yeah, he's the mastermind behind all the pokemon swarm attacks. That and half a million other things." I went quiet, my voice dropping to a whisper. "He killed Pride… he's responsible for so much…"

"Marcus," she said. "he's here right now. He got here yesterday and pulled all the department heads into a meeting with the chairman that hasn't ended yet."

"Then we don't have much time."

"What's going on, Marcus?"

"We need into Silph," I said. "Before Giovanni gets the ball."

I prayed that Gemma trusted me enough to help us. I hadn't spent much time with her since Celadon, only calling every now and then. I'd had to keep so many secrets that I kept her at a distance for fear of incriminating myself to Rocket.

"Look," she said. "I wouldn't believe any of this if weird things hadn't been happening." She paused, but I heard her saying something to another person. "Dozens of supposedly 'Silph sponsored' trainers showed up here in the last week or two. But I don't recognize a single damn one of them. Neither does Nick."

"They're Rocket," I said. "they're already inside the company."

"Then you don't have a chance in hell at getting into the building."

I nodded to myself. She was probably right. It didn't change things. "We have to try," I said. "or else a whole lot of people are gonna get hurt."

She was quiet. "It's already at that point, Novice."

"Gemma…"

She sighed. "Trainers help each other."

I nodded in affirmation. "Trainers help each other," I repeated.

We popped into the storage room, Gemma instantly pulling me into a crushing hug.

"Good to see you too," I wheezed as she squeezed the air out of me. "It's been too damn long."

She let go and I looked over at the man behind her. "Nicholas," I said with a nod. "glad to have your help."

"You're going to need it," he said. The PR coordinator scowled, and I had the feeling he hadn't had much good news to work with as of late. "whoever these guys are, they've sealed off the elevator. They put something into the computer system that runs the building, stopped it from responding completely."

I knew what that meant. Two hadn't been the only porygon that Bill had created, and there was always the possibility of other replicas that Rocket had made. "I might be able to fix that," I said.

"I'm all ears," he said. "because the tech staff have been stumped."

I glanced between the two of them. "Can you get us to an access point?" I asked.

Gemma grinned and tapped one of the balls on her belt. Domitian appeared from the light, towering over us. Gemma pointed the crate beside her. "Get in," she said. "I've got a plan."

I looked at the crate. It was small. Too small for more than two people. I glanced at Karen and Will. We were still outgunned. We needed backup. Maybe Oak and the boys were coming, but they wouldn't be enough. I needed Zapdos squad.

"Find Surge," I said, locking eyes with Karen. "Get him here. This is gonna spiral out of control real quick, and I'm not gonna be able to handle it alone."

"All the better reason for us to stay," she replied quickly. She pulled back her hair, tying it up to keep it out of the way. "We'll be better use to you in here."

"But that won't matter," I said. "Giovanni is too strong, he'll wipe the floor with all of us. I need more trainers, people that can stand on his level."

She grinned viciously. "You've never seen me battle," she said with a growl. "I can—"

"If you're wrong, we're all dead for nothing." I put a hand on her shoulder, trying to project calm. "Get Surge. Heck, get any other Gym Leader you can. Get them to the Tower."

She stared back at me for a long moment, then nodded. "Yes, sir."

I stepped back. Respect from someone like her… who was stronger than me… it felt strange. Undeserved. "Just go," I said. "Before it's too late."

She turned to Will. He put a hand on her shoulder and they disappeared with a faint pop.

Leaf lifted her leg up and hoisted herself into the crate. I nodded at Gemma and moved to do the same.

She stopped me.

"You've grown up," she said. "I can't call you Novice anymore."

I smiled. "Thank goodness for that," I replied. "You'll have to use my name."

A wide grin spread across her face. "I'll find something, don't you worry." She gestured at the crate. "Now, get in the box."

I crawled into the crate, curling up beside Leaf. "Snug fit," I commented.

Leaf chuckled. "I've actually been in worse situations," she said.

Domitian placed the crate's lid back on. I heard the machamp beat several nails into the lid. Darkness enclosed Leaf and I completely. She snapped a glow stick on, giving us some small measure of light in the crate.

"How's that possible?" I asked. I wasn't exactly afraid of the dark, but I wasn't fond of it either.

She twisted her head to look at me in the dim glow of the glow stick. "I was stuck inside a coffin, inside the Pokemon Tower in Lavender."

My jaw went slack. I felt us lift off the ground and heard Gemma's muffled voice order Domitian into the hallway outside the storage room. "I take it back. That definitely sounds worse."

---

We stayed still and silent for a long while. The constant stop and start of motion, not to mention the consistent rattle of impact every time Domitian knocked the crate into something.

More voices were audible outside the crate and we felt us come to a halt. Leaf and I went utterly quiet. We must have moved into a busy part of the building. We didn't dare move or make a noise, putting our trust completely in Gemma and Nicholas.

After what seemed like an eternity, Domitian set us down. I heard the lid crack open and light flooded our hiding place.

Gemma pulled me to my feet. I glanced around at the gathered crowd, blinking rapidly as my eyes adjusted to the light.

"Hell of an IT staff," I remarked. My eyes found the pokeball belts and the hardened expressions. This crowd was definitely not an IT staff.

"Yeah," Gemma started cautiously. "about that."

I glanced around fearfully for a moment. Nobody was bearing weapons or releasing pokemon to attack us. Shame filled me a moment later as I recognized a few of the faces in the crowd as Silph sponsored trainers. Gemma wasn't betraying us. She'd gotten us help.

My eyes narrowed a moment later. Rocket was inside Silph. What was to say that they didn't have someone inside the sponsored trainers?"

"The IT staff are here. But I heard you telling that woman that you were outgunned and… well, I brought some backup." She turned to face me proudly, a wall of determined faces at her back. "Like I said, trainers help each other."

I nodded confidently, trying to push the doubts from my mind. Maybe we actually had a shot at this. Maybe Rocket didn't have everyone in their pocket. "Alright then," I started. My hand dropped to my belt, releasing Two at my side. "let's get to work."

I pulled out the bulky headset that Bill had created to translate Two's speech and pulled it on. "Two," I said.

"Marcus-Trainer," he replied. "how may I be of assistance?"

I looked over at the pair of wiry IT workers. They couldn't have been more stereotypical. Both of them looked at Two with clear awe.

"You…" started the woman. "what is this?"

I grinned widely, getting the chance to boast about my pokemon. "Two is a Porygon-2. Bill gave him an update of sorts, that seems to have evolved him into something new."

Her eyes went wide behind her massive lenses. "William Sonezaki?" she asked. "He's a legend in the programming community. Does things with a computer that are impossible."

I gestured to Two. "The impossible," I stated. "Bill meant for the porygon to be more. Two is that vision."

He chirped at me. I grinned and nodded at the staff. "He wants to know how he can help," I translated. "Says that he can likely purge the Silph system of other malicious programs."

"Like an antivirus system?" the man asked.

Two chirped dismissively. "He didn't like that comparison," I said. I left out the colourful insult that Two had given for him.

"That'll only get you up to the forty-fourth floor. The top three floors are on a separate system. There's an entirely separate server up there connected through a satellite network in the event of any attempted break-ins."

Gemma nodded at my shoulder. "Which is pretty much what we're doing right now," she said. "So we can get up to the forty-fourth…"

"Then we fight," I said. I grimaced. I didn't like this plan. It was too risky, too dependent on the chance of battle. I didn't have much of a choice. We needed to act before Giovanni got a hold of the ball.

I looked at Two. "Do it," I ordered. "seize the building."

---

It turned out that Two was so much more advanced than the basic porygon Rocket was using. He tripped half a dozen alarms as he entered the building's system, silencing them all a heartbeat later. Swarms of porygon descended on my living computer, but he was more than a match for even a horde of his predecessors.

A small flicker in the lights was the only signal anything was awry.

Two reappeared on the main monitor in the IT control room, chirping happily. He disappeared back into the computer and his voice came over the IT room's PA. "I've gained control of most of the building's systems. Some of the porygon tried to alert a network centre on the thirty-eighth floor, but I stopped them before they could raise a response."

The main elevator lit up on the display. "I've gained access to the elevator system, as well as a variety of other systems that could prove helpful."

Two reappeared on the screen. "I cannot say whether or not the Rockets in the other network centre have noticed, but there is no unusual movement throughout the building." He pulled up door controls beside himself on the screen. "I can isolate the Rockets masquerading as Silph trainers with some assistance identifying them."

I grinned. "Great job," I said. "be ready if they try to retake any of the systems. They'll know that we're here. They'll be waiting."

He chirped an affirmative and disappeared back into the machine.

I turned to the gathered trainers. "I want to thank you all for coming," I began. "I'm gonna be honest with you all. This is not going to be easy." I glanced around at the determined faces looking back at me. "Rocket… they know we're coming. They'll be waiting for us, and they have more than enough troops throughout the building to hold us off."

"You're going to need a distraction," one of the trainers said. He stepped forward and offered a curt nod as I realized who it was. I recognized that bright white hair and cold gaze. "we'll keep them off you," Elias Greenwin said. "pull their forces down to the ground floor and keep them there."

He'd admonished me last time I'd met him. Shamed me in front of a pair of Rangers. Now he showed me clear respect and deference. I didn't quite know how I felt about that.

"Don't risk yourselves unnecessarily," I said, ignoring the discomfort. "bottle up the hallways leading to the elevators and use area denial strategies. Don't risk yourselves unnecessarily." I looked out at them all. "I don't know if the Army will jump into this fight, but get the hell out if they start firing on you. You aren't soldiers. You didn't sign on for this kind of fighting."

"With all due respect," Elias said. He nodded at me. "Silph trainers pull their weight. We're with you. If the League is rotten all the way up, then something has to be done."

I nodded slowly. They were all trainers too, all of them under the authority of the Pokemon League. All of them were just like I had been. "You all feel like this?" I asked.

Elias nodded and not one of the group made any move to contradict him. "I speak for everyone here," he said. "We talked this over before we let you out of the box." He held out a hand. "We're with you, Marcus."

I took his handshake proudly. Maybe he was still a prick. But he was still a trainer. My suspicion that Rocket had a mole inside the Silph sponsored trainers vanished. These people were trainers just like me. Trainers help each other.

A confident grin returned to my face and turned to my makeshift army. "Then get ready." I turned to Leaf and gestured for her to follow me. "Because we're about to kick the beedrill nest."

---

The elevator doors opened. I stepped in, Gemma and Leaf at my sides. I looked out, past Elias and the pair of trainers waiting with him. "Thank you," I said. "Stay safe. All of you."

"We'll do our best," Elias replied. "Now go. Time for this to kick off."

The doors shut and I stepped back, leaning against the elevator and breathing deeply. We jerked into motion and began our ascent.

"Mr. Greenwin is sealing the doors," Two said over the PA. "his magmortar has melted them shut."

I nodded. "Smart," I replied.

I glanced at Gemma. "Hell of an army on short notice," I commented.

She shrugged. "They were ready to do something themselves. Things have been weird ever since the Cerulean attack, and then the past few days…" she trailed off and shrugged again. "I dunno, so many things didn't add up. There was the army rolling in and fortifying the plaza, the new arrivals that none of us recognized, then the meeting Giovanni called." Gemma looked back up at me. "We were all confined to a single floor and restricted from letting our pokemon out. Something had to change."

Two pinged the PA again. "Movement, there are groups of trainers trying to reach the elevators on other floors."

"Anything in the lobby yet?" I asked.

"No," he replied.

"Keep them away. You have the building."

Two trilled happily. "With pleasure," he replied.

Gemma nodded at me as we moved past the fifteenth floor. "You've changed," she said. "You aren't so…"

"Inexperienced?" I asked, offering her an end to her sentence.

She smirked. "I don't know about that." Gemma looked over at Leaf and then back at me. "Heck, she looks like she's been in more scrapes than you have."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh really?" I glanced over at Leaf. My doubt died in the way she stared back at me. "Heh, maybe you're right."

"Movement outside," Two said. "some of the soldiers are forming up into groups. Looks like they're getting ready for something."

I grimaced. Rocket was opening with their trump card. "Can you keep them out?" I asked.

"Not for long," he replied.

We rose past the twenty-fifth floor. "Do what you can," I said. "keep me in the loop."

Leaf glanced over at Gemma. "Nice to meet you," she said. "Marcus spoke very highly of you."

Gemma grinned. "I'll bet he did," she said with a laugh. "I saved his ass twice before the guy even had his second badge."

"To be fair," I interjected. "you did put me into the danger on the second one."

She shrugged. "Still saved your life," she replied.

We hit the thirtieth floor. The elevator went dark and ground to a sudden halt. The lights flicked back on a moment later.

"Two, report."

He trilled over the PA. "They cut the main power from the breaker room, but the building has reserve generators in the basement."

We rumbled back into motion, moving past floor thirty-one.

"Shouldn't be any more interruptions," Two said. "I've locked them into the breaker room. They won't be able to do anything else from there with the main power off."

The building shook with an impact. The elevator rumbled but continued to rise.

"The army has breached the lobby," Two said calmly. Another explosion rocked the building, rattling the elevator again. "But the Silph trainers are holding."

We rose past thirty-five. The mood in the elevator darkened and I caught my grim expression in the mirrored wall behind Gemma.

"Rocket trainers are descending through some of the stairwells," Two said. "they'll trap the Silph trainers in if they don't retreat."

"Can you get me into contact with Elias?"

Two chirped an affirmative again.

The PA crackled and the pained grunt of a person struggling came over the speaker. Gunfire echoed in the background.

"Elias, you gotta get out of there," I said. "Rocket trainers are coming down the stairwells."

"We're pinned by the army!" He shouted. I heard a deafening roar, then the unmistakable whine of electricity arcing. "I don't see how we can move!"

"Down the stairs!" I ordered. "Get out through the maintenance tunnels, they're not guarded."

He swore and I heard the heavy sound of two people struggling in close quarters. A loud buzz drowned out the noise, then went quiet.

"We're not leaving you alone here," he said, panting heavily between words. "They'll be all over you in minutes."

We rose past the fortieth floor. "Elias, we're almost up to the top. They can't stop us now, get out before they trap you."

He was quiet for a minute. I heard another voice. "Alright," he said. "we're going. Good luck, Ranger."

I nodded. "Good luck, Trainer."

We ground to a halt at the forty-third floor. "There is a squad of Rockets waiting to ambush you on the floor above," Two said. "I have sealed the hallway off. They will not be able to obstruct you."

The elevator door opened. Lights lit up, running the length of the hallway and then turning right. "I will guide you," Two said confidently.

I dashed down the hallway and turned the corner. The lights led into a stairwell. I raced up the steps two at a time, dashing past the floor with the trapped Rockets.

"I'll lose you on forty-five," Two said as I reached the door to the upper levels. The stairwell stopped. "There's likely another elevator, or another stairwell that can get you up to the top."

"Where's the closest access point?" I asked. "I need you up here."

"The level below you," Two said. "But I cannot leave the system if we hope to hold off the Rockets and the Army downstairs."

I grimaced. To go into battle down what Two brought to my team was a terrible idea. But to let Rocket regain access to the building was an even worse one. I made a snap decision and hoped that it wouldn't come back to haunt me. "Stay in then," I ordered. "get everyone downstairs out and make damn sure that Rocket can't move through the building."

Two chirped twice. Then the PA went quiet.

"This is it," Gemma said.

I nodded. "Be ready," I said. I pulled my pistol from its holster. "They're not gonna make it easy."

Leaf nodded behind us, her hand on the balls at her belt.

I looked at the two of them and breathed deeply. "On me, then."

My pistol snapped up. I fired three times, blasting through the hinges and the lock. I leaned back and put everything I had into a kick in the middle of the door.

The door came down with a crash. I barged through, checking the corners and expecting to be swarmed with Rockets the moment I charged through.

Nothing greeted me. No bullets, no pokemon. Nothing but silence.

"Well that's ominous as shit," Gemma said. "Where the hell are the guards?"

"Spread out," I said in a half whisper. "look for any way up to the top floor, but be careful!" I glanced around. "I don't like this."

I picked through the darkened hallway, keeping my weapon up and at the ready. My free hand dropped to Luna's ball, releasing her at my side.

"Scan the floor," I ordered. "I don't like this at all."

She closed her eyes and I could feel the telltale ripple of reality warping around her. Her tails floated weightless, billowing up around her.

'Confused,' Luna said in my mind. 'can't tell. Can't sense. Maybe someone. Maybe not.'

I nodded. She needed more practice at this. I resolved to ask Karen and Will for some help training this skill once we got out of Saffron.

"It's ok, girl," I said. I scratched her under the chin. "We'll assume there's a whole bunch of bad guys, just to be safe."

"Found a stairwell!" Gemma shouted.

I followed her voice. Leaf was already there, waiting, when I arrived.

"Looks like it leads up to the top," she said. "What are the odds that there's a trap waiting for us?"

"Guaranteed," I replied. I looked back at Luna. "Can you try to sense anything again?" I asked.

She nodded and her tails floated ethereally behind her once more.

'One person,' she said in my mind. 'One person at top of stairs.' I felt her confidence. She was more sure of this answer than before. 'Big group past him, numbers cloudy.'

"We've got someone guarding the door to the board room," I said. I patted Luna on the head. "swarm them, focus down any pokemon that appear." I checked the chamber of my weapon for the thirtieth time. "I'll take care of the trainer."

Gemma nodded. Leaf did the same. I stepped up to the door, taking point. Luna brought up the rear, alongside a leafeon that Leaf had let out.

"Move," I ordered, kicking open the door.

We charged up the stairs in formation, my weapon pointed upwards and waiting for movement. The stairwell was dark, only a faint red glow above us offering any light.

We rounded the forty-sixth floor, and still no movement greeted us. I kept moving, scanning the corners as I took the stairs three at a time.

I hit the forty-seventh floor and stopped. The dull red glow had been growing brighter and now I knew why. Gemma and Leaf took up positions behind me, Luna joining me at the front.

"Stand aside," I ordered, trying my best to put on a commanding voice. "only warning."

The red glow faded and I saw that his half of his face had been replaced by machinery. Crimson red hair hung down over the remaining half on his face, only the robotic eye was visible. It was locked on me.

"You shouldn't have come," he said, his voice tinged with synthetic tones. "you're all going to die."

He stepped forward and I saw that one leg was entirely machine. His other ended at the knee and continued in another robotic limb. One arm raised and I widened my eyes. He was more machine than man.

I opened my mouth to give an order. I never got the chance.

He hit me at full speed, driving the wind from my chest with the impact. I flew backwards, crashing heavily into the concrete walls of the stairwell. My weapon went bouncing down the stairs and I fought to suck in a breath.

Luna was snarling, already spewing a jet of flame. The cyborg deftly ducked under her attack and drove a knee into her throat. Her flamethrower died at the source and the man followed up with a throw that bowled over Gemma and Leaf.

A red flash lit the stairwell a moment later and I saw the hulking form of a johtan powerhouse forming in the gloom. Its eyes glowed red as well and my heart skipped several beats. Whoever this was, his pokemon had been similarly upgraded.

There was a reason I'd considered a totodile when Erika had given me a choice of bred pokemon. Feraligatr were damn powerful. Add in the cybernetic modifications that Rocket had made, and the creature before me was terrifying.

As the water type before me stretched to its full height, I realized that perhaps my choice of an aerodactyl had been premature. The distinct lack of a counter to water types on my team had reared its head at the worst possible moment.

I was back to my feet in a scramble, my hand going to my belt. Curie was out, appraising the situation without needing an order. She shook the egg that she tore from her pouch and pitched it into the feraligatr's face.

It exploded, driving the feraligatr back into the wall behind it. The man stood strong though, his legs clamping to the floor and finding purchase there.

"The door!" I roared, not sparing the two women a moment's glance. I couldn't afford to if we wanted to survive. "Get it ope—"

He hit me again, driving me past Leaf and Gemma. I slammed into the door and it gave way, crashing heavily to the floor. He was on me again a moment later, lifting me off the floor by my Ranger fatigues.

"No," he said. His mouth barely moved, and I got the sense that he no longer had vocal chords. "you die now."

Luna grabbed him with a wave of telekinetic energy. The cyborg held fast and both of us launched through the air.

The floor we'd busted into looked like it had been a high end office. Maybe some sort of executive suite. I crashed through a glass wall and hit the table inside the room. A loud tearing noise freed me and I tumbled to a halt as Luna drove the cyborg into the floor below us.

I sat up, coughing madly. Every breath was agony. Ribs were broken, more than a few of them if the grating pain was to be believed. My Ranger fatigues were hanging off me, the cyborg having taken a large patch of the chest with him.

"Luna," I coughed. "torch that thing."

She leapt up to the edge of the hole she had smashed the cyborg through. My ninetales erupted, spewing a stream of fire into the floor below.

Gemma grabbed me up, hauling me into a standing position. I groaned with the movement, but adrenaline was flooding my system and blunting the pain.

"Marcus, we have to—"

I shoved her away and dove backwards with the same movement. A pressurized torrent of water ripped through the space we'd been standing. The window shattered under the feraligatr's assault, bursting outwards.

Leaf's leafeon was harrying the hulking water type every step of the way. A relentless stream of plant life washed against its hide, merely annoying the giant. It walked through the leaf storm, rumbling deeply.

Curie leapt from behind it. She reared back, and I watched in horror as she pitted her strength against the feraligatr's. They locked arms, Curie's stubby little limbs holding the heavier and larger water type at bay.

A series of flashes behind them lit the room. Six arms grabbed at the feraligatr and slammed it backwards into the floor. Domitian and Cuddles hammered blow after blow into the cyborg pokemon, Curie jumping in and joining them a moment later.

A black blur hit Gemma's pokemon before they could react. Both of her powerhouses fell backwards, the sneasel's claws dripping with blood. Gemma shrieked again, her and Leaf releasing more pokemon to face the new threat.

Again I rose to my feet, scanning the office for any sign of the man. "Luna," I started. "do a sca—"

He was on me again, moving too fast for me to counter. His metal arm wrapped around me, squeezing and crushing my already aching chest.

Luna hit us with another wave of psychic energy, trying in vain to separate us. The man simply lifted his free arm and absorbed the rippling wave of power.

I drove my elbow into his fleshy side, drawing a grunt from him that sounded more human than anything he'd said. My follow up kick hit him in the metal knee. It didn't move.

He threw me again, back through another one of the wall height windows. The impact rattled my already broken ribs and I fought ragged breaths for air as I rolled to a halt.

I heard movement, but it sounded so distant. My ears were ringing, every bone in my chest grating against another with every breath. This man was going to kill me if we didn't end the fight now.

"Luna," I said weakly. "you have to stop this. You have to end it before he kills us all."

Her mind touched mine. I didn't know where she was, or how much she had heard me say, but that didn't matter now. I showed her what to do.

'Is crazy plan,' she protested. 'will kill us all.'

"Might kill him."

She was silent for a long moment.

'Will do it,' she said reluctantly.

I forced myself up onto one knee. I could hardly draw a breath but I moved nonetheless. I grabbed at the heavy red case on the wall, wrenching it open and grabbing the weapon within.

He was stalking towards Leaf and Gemma. They had pokemon in between them, but I had the horrible sense that it didn't matter. They weren't going to able to stop him. Not directly. Not unless I gave them an opening.

Both of them were going to die. Both of them would die unless I did something to buy Luna some time.

I did the only thing I could. I charged. I raised the fire axe and swung with all my might.

He spun on the spot and intercepted the axe with his robotic arm. It stopped dead. My eyes went wide.

"You are stubborn," he said, cocking his head to the side. He looked me up and down, a small grin spreading across the human parts of his face. "I'd be impressed if you were any stronger."

He yanked me closer along with the axe. "But you're weak. You always will be."

"That's the thing about being weaker than your opponent," I said, cracking my own grin despite the pain. "it means that you have to fight smarter than them."

"Luna!" I shouted. "Do it no—"

A resounding crack echoed through the building. I felt the floor shift beneath my feet. Luna had found the support columns.

A wave of telekinetic power erupted from her a moment later, blasting another gaping hole to the floor below us. I hit the wall, then tipped as the building groaned under the assault.

The floor dropped out from under me. Dust billowed around me, obscuring everything as I crashed down into the forty-sixth floor. I felt more than heard the feraligatr land in front of me, an avalanche of rubble burying it before the beast could rise.

A dull red glow cut through the dust and I knew that I'd failed. He was rising from the gloom, a limp marring his mechanical gait. But he was still alive.

I tried to scramble away in vain, but it was too late. My opponent was there again, grabbing me and fending off my clumsy counter. He spun and threw me, his crimson hair spinning with him.

I sailed backward, hitting the massive window. A network of cracks spread out behind me as I slumped down to the floor, coughing up a splatter of blood.

Leaf was shouting, but I couldn't hear her over the ringing in my ears. I couldn't hear anything except the ringing and the pounding of my heart in my broken chest.

It didn't matter. I forced myself back up. I had to fight. I had to—

He was on me again, wrapping that metal arm around my waist as I rose, faster than I could move. I felt myself spinning, then sailing through the air again.

I hit the window and it broke. I smashed through the weakened glass and tumbled into open space. Forty-six stories above the ground.

---

Intermediate Trainer KT#07996101

Indigo Ranger Corps, Special Task Group, "Zapdos" Squad,

Corporal SN# 109-512-6591, Marcus Wright, current team:

Luna, Ninetales

Artemis, Aerodactyl

Two, Porygon-2

Curie, Chansey

Savage, Tyrunt

---

Apparently this is a shonen anime now…

'Shrug'

Its cool.

If anybody is interested, Silver comes out of the one shot "What We Do For Our Children".

 

[canisaries]

Heya! Here for Catnip, unloading some more of my reading notes. Here's my thoughts on chapters 5 and 6.

Chapter 5

"really took that one down to the wire."

Missing capital.

"Some online have called it cowardly and underhanded, or suggested that your use of a baby pokemon could even be considered cruelty." He shrugged and I saw the amused grin hidden behind a stoic face. "I'm just asking the question."

*pulls on collar comically*

"you're bleeding. I looks really bad."

Missing capital.

"Shit." I said plainly.

Period to comma.

"This is about your work?" She asked.

"Is it that bad?" She asked.

Remove capitals.

"A bewear," I said, stepping out of the alolan bear's reach.

Huh, didn't expect an Alolan mon. Also, Alolan should be capitalized, right?

Gemma forced herself up on one arm and looked at her pokemon. She grimaced and forced the words out through gritted teeth. "Cuddles, use pain split."

Her bewear placed one oversized paw on her side as he screwed up his face with effort. I watched in awe as her back healed ever so slightly. Similar gouges split open on Cuddles' back, fresh red blood running down his black fur in streams.

yo this is COOL

The scyther buzzed it's wings

its*

She pressed into my touch and laid against my leg.

She laid back down,

laying against my leg.

Lay, lay, lying, respectively.

Curie hopped off of me and grabbed a rock. She lifted it and placed it in the middle of the clearing.

Pride nosed one of the rocks over to Curie, who lifted it and placed it gently on top of the first one.

Luna was there, ever the show off as she levitated a third rock onto the second.

I found a fourth and placed it on the top rock. I sat back and Curie joined me again. Luna and pride lay at my sides, both of them ensuring that they stayed close to me.

this is kino fr what a good moment

"things haven't been good.

Missing capital.

Heck, I got you that Happiny's egg from the fair!

"You aren't sleeping out here alone. Not with the possibility that the Persian is still around."

Pokémon species names capitalized all of a sudden?

The deserve to live in peace.

They*

You better be in the opening ceremony of this year's Indigo Conference, or else I'll be literally die with boredom.

Extraneous "be"?

I could practically feel the life come back to her voice. I heard her chuckle and felt a chill run down my spine. I knew what that chuckle meant. "Prepare for war."

bro they can't all be the worst gym leader

and it's limbs were splayed out at strange angles.

its*

"Look," I started. "you two stay here.

Period to comma.

Chapter 6

More tentacruel dragged themselves ashore as the ,

Missing words?

attempted to drag itself over it's comatose kin.

its*

"Could you help me?" She asked, waving me over.

Remove capital.

Didn't even stop to make sure I was ok.

"OK" or "okay" would be better.

Novice trainer KT#07996101 Marcus Wright, current team:

Luna, Vulpix

Pride, Nidorino

shes not in.... its so over

General Comments

I don't really know why since we're at the beginning and I should kind of take all your worldbuilding as is since I'm not that familiar with the world yet, but I found myself having trouble believing Marcus would be this popular over two matches where he just won. Are people making it through truly so rare that you get asked for autographs for doing it? Or did he go viral somehow? Like I said, though, I don't know why it's so hard for me to believe this. I guess I just have a really strong mental notion of a lot of kids making it through gym challenges.

That Rocket attack scene was very intense. I don't usually like action scenes, but I think that was a well done one.

While I'm not sure exactly why Marcus got teleported so close to home - if there was a justification, I've forgotten it since reading - I think it makes for a very natural excuse to give out more backstory once he's there. Appreciate it.

Ooh, trainers have a draft. I supposed that makes sense, but it's neat to see anyway.

Not much to say about the tentacruel chapter. I find it quite :vibratingeyes: that we have poorly evolved mon with body horror and I have to wonder what could have caused that. And then there's Curie being taken. This is why you don't have kids smh.

I think that's it for my thoughts! I haven't really read further than chapter 8 since I last mentioned it since I got distracted by other fics, but I still think I'm gonna continue whenever I feel like it. See you around!

 

[Flyg0n]

Hey there! I've been meaning to catchup on my reviews, and now is as good a time as any. I wanted to review arc by arc, but for now I'll just have to try and hit these next few chapters, starting with 3.

Spoiler: Chapter 3

"I can't take this," I repeated sternly. Pa had instilled a distrust of handouts in me over the years, something I was hesitant to shake even if Gemma was being nice. "It wasn't earned."

She stopped and looked at me with an honest smile for what felt like the first time. "That's sweet," she said. "Consider it a gift. I got a soft spot for novices like yourself and to be honest, you could use the help." She winked as the evil grin returned. "You did get your face chewed up by a paras after all."

Gemma is the best, and I love her, I appreciate her insitence here. Also lighten up Marcus, accepting help makes people feel good too :P (i feel you though.)

I don't recall if this was in the first draft or not but the mention of how his father instilled a distrust of handouts is a nice touch. But also silly of him! People help people. Letting people help you is a way of letting them love you. its how we survive as a species (but realistic honestly, parents are so prideful)

She'll order her starmie to kill that baby just to prove a point."

Yikes. Talk about jerk

We headed north, ignoring the impromptu tournament forming at the end of the Nugget Bridge.

I like this little nod to the games, hehe

It was silent now, like something had just flicked off some giant switch.

Danger!!! Love this, anyone worth their salt outdoors knows this is Bad bad if it goes silent.

I heard the low rumble of a feral growl and felt the ground shake slightly. It rose from the flames, all purple spikes and armoured plates. Wicked looking spines jutted out from its back.

Then I saw him. The nidoking saw me. He stepped through the flames like they were nothing, stalking towards me like he knew he had already won. The flames cast terrible spiked shadows across me, giving the nidoking a demonic appearance. I struggled to my feet, my head spinning and protesting the action as I tried to move.

Absolutely iconic. This was really nicely written, this whole scene was very vivid and tense and scary. Big predator/scary beast in the woods.

The nidoking towered over me, stretching at least two or three feet above me and standing an imposing armoured figure. H

I'm so relieved that you also have the giant Nidoking. I recall one episode of the anime that puts them at like .... 4 foot? And I'm sorry but no, Nidoking and Nido's are BEEG and scary

"Confuse wisp!" I shouted, knowing we had to level the playing field.

"Keep it off balance."

*These should be on the same line since its just Marcus speaking.

I was a trainer. I was a pokemon trainer. It was time that I proved it and added to my team.

Yeeeesssss I remember enjoying this a lot, I feel like this moment was sort of a culmination of Marcus's trials up until now. It was quite refreshing to finally see him rising to the occasion to make a catch.

"The nido pack must have been tracking us since we went off-route. This is all my fault. I'm better than that, I should never have left you alone."

I'm glad she owned up to this, because even I was thinking this is a bit risky, even though I get why she wanted to prepare him for a situation and it happened unexpextedly.

This was a really good chapter, I particularly enjoy seeing Gemma. She's a real treasure of a character and I love the relationship and camraderie she and Marcus develop. its also refreshing to see a female character who is just allowed to be a cool helpful mentor without it straying specifically towards romance. Honestly the best part of it all for me was seeing Marcus rising to the occasion and accepting the choice he made to leave the farm and facing the fact that this is life now, and he is a trainer.

Honestly those 3 chapters make an excellent beginning taste of what kind of story this will be (before things go way off the rails lol)

Spoiler: Chapter 4

Your second?" She trailed off and I caught a far off look in her eyes. "It's meant to test what you're made of. It's meant to push you to the breaking point, to show you that you aren't invincible and force you to overcome some adversity.

"Less than half of all trainers manage to make it to their third badge, a quarter of those dropping out due to significant injury to their pokemon. I know what the odds are." I shrugged, unconcerned with the path I'd chosen. "I know what I want and I know what I have to do to earn it."

I like how you establish the brutality of the gym circuit pretty early here. Also, compared to games, hah, I see why most trainers apparently washout after a badge or two. the way you write and worldbuild does a pretty good job of actually supporting why training is hard and not everyone cuts it.

He made no move to flee, no move to attack. He glanced between me and Luna as if he were analyzing us. I stopped, unsure of what to do. I'd been so sure of his guaranteed aggression, so sure that he would attack us on sight. I hadn't put any thought into a peaceful solution.

Luna barked once, stepping forward. I didn't move a muscle, my eyes glued to the nido. He still made no aggressive moves, watching and waiting as Luna slowly stalked towards him. His tail flicked back and forth slowly and I made my decision before Luna could ruin our opportunity.

"That's a good boy," I said, dropping to one knee. He nuzzled into my hand, careful to avoid scratching me with the spines covering his body. "That's a very good boy."

I really liked this bonding scene so much, augh. (Big oofs bc i know what happens). It was a nice change and a bit unexpected to see Nidoran not have to get beat down, and ngl in the context of your universe I wasn't really looking forward to a scene of Marcus beating up Pride to demand respect (dont ask me why, considering I use this trope too, but I guess its just bc of the darker setting).

She glanced up at my nidorino as he shook off the confusion Luna had inflicted on him. He grunted angrily and blinked away the slow look on his face before bounding back after Luna. "Fits him best."

I shrugged. "Pride?" I suggested halfheartedly, quickly losing my patience with the entire naming process. "It's alright, but it just doesn't sound great to me."

Try as I might, I just kept coming back to the same name. "Pride," I repeated, glancing back at Gemma for reassurance. It was in my head now and I was spiralling into doubt with my ability to name my pokemon.

The naming scene is delightful, I love actually deliberating and talking about the name as opposed to just coming up with the right one in a snap. Wavering on the name and thinking it 'doesn't feel right' and then comign back to feel like it does is like, such a mood and a very humanizing down to earth moment.

Pride's training however, was going about as poorly as it could have. He was still adjusting to life on a trainer's team. He had difficulty understanding some of my more complex commands.

I think the detail of wild mon not acclimating to complex commands is quite good! I almost sort of had this in LA but copped out kind of, but I like it! Adds to the challenge of training.

I resolved right then and there to learn everything I could about aquatic pokemon, even if only to satisfy my curiosity.

Idr but does he ever do this, lol? This isn't a slight, its just funny if he doesn't. I have details like this in LA sometimes and totally forget to have characters do the thing, ehehhe.

Misty dropped the whistle back to her chest. She wouldn't need it with her starmie's psychic telepathy. She raised her last ball. We both knew what was coming. She smirked at me from across the field and tossed her ball in the air.

The whistle for commands plus the psychic telepathy is so cool, its quite unnerving i imagine too, not being able to read your opponent.

"Confuse Ray!" I ordered, silently praying that she had the strength to give Pride a ghost of a chance. It wasn't much, but it was all I had.

This was an awesome detail. It always aggravated me that we never saw like, Ash do this ahahaha. If you know you might faint, try to give your next teammate a fighting chance!

If he was going to face his fate with defiance then I would too.

"Pride, horn attack!"

Mmmmmm love me some defiant stands in battles. Trainers should always fight their hardest even when losing. Respect.

"LEADER MISTY HAS BEEN DEFEATED. THE CHALLENGER HAS EARNED THE CASCADE BADGE!"

Oooohohhoooog I liked this, good battle, good win.

His eyes met mine and I knew that we would be champions together. Together, we could do anything.

big oof

Chapter 4 is really good! The bulk of it is simply prep + gym battle, and I think it works great here, and feels very self-contained. I think your battles are particularly nice in how they are staged. You keep a good feeling of tension throughout, and there's a element of push and pull. Marcus doesn't win easy but he doesn't feel like an idiot either, and the opponents still feel like an appropiate challenge.

I like the way Marcus employes tactics and team strategies, and combines that with studying the opponent beforehand. Honestly reminds me a tad bit of Koa. It makes his determination and dedication shine through. Also its a darn good thing he had Gemma, Misty would have torn him up and spit him out wow.

I can't explicitly remember if this was mentioned or not but idr why he had to rush so quickly to fight Misty? It probably was brought up but I just can't remember why. Because I woulda waited a couple weeks (maybe he was running out of money...)

Anyways, cool chapter, reading about Pride kills me

Spoiler: Chapter 5

Not every trainer is a force for good. Evil exists… and it trains pokemon too. — Grand Champion Cynthia Shirona

What a sick quote

Gemma was waiting outside the tunnel. She punched me in the shoulder, practically hopping in place with her usual excitement. "You lucky little bastard," she said cheerfully. "really took that one down to the wire."

I could be wrong but I feel like if you're gonna use a period, the next work in quotations has to be capitalized

"Gemma did say that you had potential. " he glanced over at her as his hand fell to his side, drawing a blush from my mentor. "Needless to say, I was surprised when she recommended that I come watch a Novice challenge."

If the quotations end in a period, the next word is also capitalized, as if starting a new sentence. Usually (I believe), only speaker tags

"She taught me that trainers help each other. I hope that once I'm well off enough to do the same, I can help others in need, just like she did for me."

I found the Kanto Trainer's Digest reporter in the crowd and locked eyes with him. "Is there anything else?" I asked, somewhat forcefully.

Dadgum this entire scene was v solid. Not only was it a great way to add to his character but also to lowkey answer reviewer concerns, heheh (aka me, I was one of those people who complained about his strategy). Also it was a really fun exchange to put Marcus into and have him discuss his stuff.

She closed the blinds quickly, peering out at the parking lot. The pokeball logo on her travel jacket was shredded. Her back was stained a dark red and I had a horrified realization that it was bloody flesh I could see through the torn leather.

Jeez talk about an abrupt tone shift. (In a good way)

Gemma's face screwed up in frustration and pain. "This is about your work?" She asked. "They killed my goddamn fearow to get at you?"

The man's voice seemed to waver. "Yes," he started. "It seems that there have been recent threats to Silph, threats that we should have taken more seriously before now. Regardless, we-"

"YOU MEAN YOU KNEW!"

I stepped away from the phone. This was something that was very much not for me. I felt my chest tighten and I nervously glanced out the window.

"YOU KNEW THERE WAS A TANGIBLE THREAT TO ME AND YOU DIDN'T SAY A DAMN THING!"

I am so glad she was angry here, I'd be furious too, you got my pokemon killed.

"Bastard had a scyther," she said weakly. I saw the pain and emotion on her face, saw the hurt in her eyes. I could hardly imagine the pain of watching one of my pokemon die.

:( :(

I lifted the hotel's phone to dial the emergency number, but the dial tone was silent. I put the phone down and tested it again. The line remained dead.

uh oh!!! (also this is a great tension adding line. Nothing is explained directly but if you know, you know that mysterious cut phone lines are bad news)

She turned as I put the phone down and took a step back towards her, throwing herself into me.

Okay it took me like three tries to read this so I wonder if "I put the phone down and took a step back towards her as she turned and threw herself onto me" or something similar might work? Mixing her's and Marcus actions made it a bit awkward

I sat there for a long moment, contemplating what to do. Then the adrenaline rush began to wear off and I felt the exhaustion hitting me. I laid back in the morning dew and just watched the clouds drift along.

Ngl while im glad he's out of danger I expected him to be more into asking after Gemma. I mean we can definitely guess she's okay, based on context, but it felt just a tad jarring to see Marcus go from the near death fight to just chilling, even if it is the exhaustion wearing on him and adrenaline fading. Maybe an extra sentence or two of reflection of internal narration can smooth things over.

"I love you guys," I said quietly after I'd regained my composure enough to talk. I glanced around at the rocks littering the small depression. "Do you mind if we make the tower again? I built it for her, before I left with Luna." I looked around and felt a small weight lift from my shoulders. "I'd like for her to have something here to remember her."

Curie hopped off of me and grabbed a rock. She lifted it and placed it in the middle of the clearing.

Pride nosed one of the rocks over to Curie, who lifted it and placed it gently on top of the first one.

Luna was there, ever the show off as she levitated a third rock onto the second.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 augghhhhhh

I didn't turn back to see if he was still watching. It tore my heart to pieces to leave that place behind, but I just walked down the roughshod dirt road towards my future.

This entire sequence of Marcus at the farm and reconnecting and exploring his backstory was 👌. Moments like these and and the little scene with his team and the memorial for his sister, talking to Sarah... stuff like that is what makes the story good, imo. The battles are super cool still yeah, but its this kind of thing that makes the battles worth reading in the first place.

CIVIL DISTURBANCES REPORTED. COMPLY WITH ANY/ALL INDIGO LEAGUE DIRECTIVES. SAFFRON CITY IS CURRENTLY UNDER LOCKDOWN. NO ENTRY/EXIT PERMITTED.

Okay okay, it was this one I think? Anyways I feel like blending the start of the tenta attack into this chapter felt a bit discordant. (to me) There's a strong flow from getting out of the battle against Misty, talking to the sponsor, getting attacked, and escaping and connecting with his team and going home, but then moving into the Tenta Attack and having the scene with the kids felt like it probably belonged in the next chapter?

It could just be me, I do tend to like very self contained chapters. Its not super jarring but it did feel kind of long and like a new thread/ idea sort of launched.

EMERGENCY ALERT. ALL TRAINERS ARE HEREBY PLACED UNDER LEAGUE AUTHORITY. ALL TRAINERS IN VERMILLION REPORT TO LIEUTENANT COLONEL SURGE FOR ORDERS. TENTA SWARM ATTACK IMMINENT. CIVIL DEFENCE PROTOCOLS ACTIVE.

That said, this is an excellent ending line. Terrifying.

Chapter 5 was quite delightful. I already touched on my biggest points about it, which are how good the backstory scene is, and how the start of the tenta thing felt a bit like a new chapter. Overall though, I know you made edits and I mentioned this before, but they are quite good ones! I only skimmed the battle against the guy with the Tyranitar, since I'd read it before, but it was quite crazy. In a good way.

Spoiler: Chapter 6

Trainers were obligated to assist Indigo Rangers whenever ordered. It was part of the League contract, part of the original reason for the League's creation. It was the civic duty of every single trainer to defend humankind when called upon. It was a part of life as a trainer, being ready to drop everything and defend our species from wild pokemon.

I love this bit of worldbuilding a lot! Its a very sensible arrangement and purpose, especially for a world where wild pokemon are extremely dangerous and don't always get along with humans.

Curie was gone. I'd combed every inch of the beach, walked the path that I'd taken helping the woman. The Rangers still on the beach hadn't seen a stray pokeball and I found nothing retracing my steps. I was absolutely shredded inside. My Curie, my precious little soul was simply gone.

Oof.

I stood there in silence. She nodded her head towards me and smoothed her jacket. I noticed the stylized red R on the collar and filed that detail away. She smiled again, a smile so charming that again I found myself disarmed by the woman. "Until next time then, Marcus Wright."

I hate her so muuch lol

Less specific commentary here. A bulk of the chapter is the Tenta swarm attack, which I didn't want to reread (not because its not good but the burtality makes me sad. Poor Tentacruel. RIP). It was quite effective imo. brutal, but also a good setup for the kinds of things we will expect later in the story and a good indicator for anyone who wants to get out now, lol. I know you had concerns about the ramp up or jarring violence but honestly anyone who says that isn't paying attention. Between the Clefairy/Paras thing, the Nido attack, the Tyranitar attack, and then this, anyone who can't figure out now they don't like this kind of story has no excuse.

As an aside to the bit above about the initial part of the tenta swarm beginning with the two kids, I am of two minds, because we get a nice stark cold opening scene here, but also i still feel like the other chapter works on its own without the scene with the kids (the scene with the kids is great, its just a matter of it fitting in that chapter). Probably can leave it how it is, its a minor quirk and ultimately still fits into the overarching theme of 'trainers help each other'.

Honestly I think the story so far is pretty brutal but well balanced in a good way with lighter and pleasant moments. The world at large has a bit of a miserable feel compared to the tone of the anime, for example, but I don't think this is bad or anything. There's good people around that we see, like Surge and Gemma and other characters still to come.

I don't think I have specific crit or problems with these sets of chapters so far. We already discussed briefly about deaths later in the story which was my biggest crit so for now, I'll just be making observational commentary.

I'm glad I had a chance to start finally doing my massive review, here's to hoping I can finish up more in the coming weeks!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, it’s been a while since I came back to this story, but I got rolled it as a Catnip assignment, so I figured that it was as good a reason as any to come back to Death of Duty to see where it’d go after the introductory chapter.

Chapter 2

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Sometimes the biggest dangers to a trainer come from unexpected sources. That's why it's always a good idea to travel in groups. Trainers help each other. — Professor Augustine Sycamore​

Professor Sycamore, huh? Didn’t expect that we were going to see hints of Kalos in this story, though I suppose you are building up to some fairly large cosmic scope from the chatter I’ve heard regarding this story. Something for me to keep an eye on, I guess.

It was nearly dusk when we finally made camp. I'd walked as far eastwards from Pewter as I could in a day and still barely covered a quarter of the distance to Mount Moon. If I'd had the money to pay for a teleport back to Cerulean, I would have. Unfortunately, what little prize money I earned for beating Brock went into some much needed supplies for our journey. Between enough of Curie's specialized formula to last until Cerulean and a few emergency rations for myself, I barely had enough left over to cover the cost of the three empty poke balls that sat at the bottom of my heavy travel bag.

I mean, I’ve heard of the ‘starving artist’ archetype, but didn’t think that that’d also carry over to Pokémon Trainers as well. Just how skin and bones is Marcus when he’s this strapped for cash?

Fortunately, Luna and I were excellent hunters. She'd already brought me a pair of pidgey while I dug a small fire pit and dragged some kindling into the hole. I'd shot a third from a tree with my bow when it had come to investigate our presence.

Right, weapons are things in this setting since you had those farmers with rifles in Eternal War. A little surprised that the bow was able to cleanly take out the Pidgey, but I’m just going to assume that this is one of those settings where Pokémon get significantly less plasticine as they evolve.

By the time the sun was setting, we had a fire crackling and I was halfway through mixing Curie's specialized formula with some of the oran berries that Luna had sniffed out for us. Technically I wasn't supposed to mix the formula with anything but boiled water, but when I'd researched how to stretch the formula longer I found dozens of training articles that recommended mixing with some crushed oran berries and water to stretch my supply just a little bit longer.

inb4 these online tips wind up causing serious issues down the road, since internet wisdom has a way of becoming riddled with urban legend and disinformation.

I handed Curie the bottle of pale purple liquid with a smile. She gently deposited her precious rock back into her pouch and eagerly took the bottle from me. My baby cooed and leaned back in the makeshift nest she had made in the top of my pack, pounding back the formula as though she had never eaten before.

D’aww, how cute. So just how quickly is this going to go horribly off the rails considering the posted rating?

I set back to work on the trio of pidgey, removing the unwanted innards and skewering them on my hastily carved spit. I left them leaning over the fire and turned back to the cuttings. I lifted the flat rock that I'd found to use as my cutting board and offered the scraps to Luna. She turned her nose up at me and I couldn't help but sigh in frustration. She was a snob with her food since she had joined me. If it wasn't prepared specially for her, she wouldn't even sniff it. She could cook her own food to be clear when needed. She just didn't want to. Why do something for yourself when you have a perfectly good human to do it, I guess.

Huh. Wouldn’t have expected that coming from Luna since you’d think that she’d have a better idea of how she wants her food prepared to her tastes, but I suppose she’s definitely driving her end of the bargain as a trained Pokémon.

Most trainers balked at eating meat from pokemon, something that I simply did not have the option of. Most trainers were far more well off than I had been. My family had never had the luxury of affording a vegetarian lifestyle, but with me off on my own? I was broke to say the least. I couldn't afford more than a few emergency rations, let alone a full supply of vegetarian meals for the trip.

Waaaaaait, but wouldn’t a vegan lifestyle be cheaper? Since throughout history, meat has been a luxury compared to starches and other plants. Like, this might have something to do with cultivation patterns in this world being much more restrictive than IRL, but it’s still a bit surprising to me. Though it makes me wonder if cultured meat is a thing that’s around with local tech levels given that there’s apparently an interregional teleportation system that’s mentioned in The Champions.

Hunting for our food was by far the cheapest option, so with a lack of funds compared to the sponsored trainers of the world, meat was the only option. I supplemented that with berries that I recognized and had managed to find at least something most of the nights since I had departed home, even if I was a little bored with eating hunted pidgey.

Also sounds like it’d get really dangerous really fast. Like just imagine trying to go hunting Pokémon that have swarm behaviors like Starly.

Though wait, how common is Marcus’ situation anyways? Since you’d think that if there were a lot of others like him, that routes would have a tendency to get picked pretty bare of easy prey.

I set down the scraps and turned back to back to the fire. I froze. A little tan pokemon was sitting patiently at the edge of the firelight. It sat back on its hind legs, sniffing cautiously at the air.

Luna growled suddenly, following my gaze to the minuscule sandshrew watching our meal. I hissed at her to be quiet, hoping she wouldn't launch at our guest and spook him. A sandslash could be a powerful member of our team. Perhaps the wild pokemon could be enticed to join us.

I think that you might be missing a step here, since when you mentioned “A sandslash”, I thought that Marcus had spotted one in the brush or something. It might’ve merited more explicitly mentioning “This sandshrew could become a sandslash with a bit of training” or something like that.

I reached down, grabbing a handful of the cuttings. The sandshrew's tongue flitted out and it looked nervously between me and the meat in my hand. I tossed the scraps towards the sandshrew and it disappeared into the night as the meat landed harmlessly in the dirt.

Marcus: “... Dammit. I could’ve used those.” >_>;

I sat down by the fire, dunking my hands in my small pot of warm water and scrubbing the viscera from them. By the time I looked back up, the meat was gone and the sandshrew was looking at me from the other side of the fire. It licked its chops and looked down at the rest of my cuttings expectantly.

Or maybe we will get a Sandshrew teammate after all. Though this is definitely a different take than I’m normally used to seeing for recruiting a Pokémon.

I smiled and turned the trio of skewered pidgey over. I got to my feet and picked up the flat rock full of cuttings. I walked over to the sandshrew. He ran as I approached, but not out of the firelight this time. He watched me put the rock down and walk back to my side of the fire. Only when I had taken my seat and gone back to roasting the skinned pidgey did the sandshrew move back into the light.

Marcus: “... Seriously, make up your mind already.”

It was smaller than I had expected, probably the runt of the litter or a lonely outcast. The smell of fresh meat cooking had drawn it in, overriding its natural fear of humans. It was hungry, likely malnourished if its size was anything to go by. I wondered for a moment about it, watching the sandshrew inch closer to the food.

>natural fear of humans

Totally a positive omen of what the default of human and Pokémon relations in this world are like. Though I see that the Sandshrew and Marcus likely have some shared experiences with one another given that they’ve both obviously been a bit lean on food.

It stole a bite from the rock, eyes never leaving me. I went back to my fire, checking the pidgey to be sure I didn't burn it. The sandshrew abandoned all pretences, scarfing down the feast of scraps that I had left for it.

Marcus: “Heh, nothing to win a ‘mon’s loyalty like going through its stomach.”

I smiled happily as I pulled my meal off the fire. It was maybe a little blackened, but it was still edible. Luna whined as I tore off a leg and presented her a charred chunk of pidgey.

"Come on, I'm getting better but you knew I was a bad cook before we even started this." I waved the burnt pidgey at her and left it in front of her, knowing that she was gonna refuse it until she was damn near starving. "If you don't like it, then cook your own food next time."

inb4 Luna’s complaint is actually that it isn’t burned more given that she’s a Fire-type.

I sighed as Luna sniffed at the pidgey cautiously and turned her nose up at it. "Fine, starve yourself." I tore a chunk off my own meal and ate it as noisily as I could. It was dry and bland, but I hadn't eaten anything that day since the few handfuls of the berries we'd scavenged along the way. It was the best damn meal I could have wished for after a long day of travel.

I reached for the second pidgey as I finished the first. My hand brushed something hard and smooth and I damn near jumped out of my own skin. The sandshrew squeaked madly and scampered off into the night, my second pidgey clutched in its little jaws.

Yeeeeeeeah, so much for getting a Sandshrew teammate there.

I swore and leapt to my feet. My hand went into my bag for a ball, whipping it uselessly off into the night. I made it two steps after the sandshrew before I realized that it was futile.

"Little bastard!" I shouted as I shook my fist. "That was mine!"

Sandshrew: “*And now it’s mine! Thanks, buddy!*”

A high pitched yipping erupted behind me. I turned and locked my eyes on my starter. Luna was yipping madly, her meal of berries forgotten in the dirt. I thought she was choking for a half-panicked moment, and then it hit me. Luna was laughing. My own starter was laughing mercilessly at my misfortune.

Luna: “*So, what was that about starving myself again?*”

I frowned and sighed angrily. As if it wasn't enough to lose most of my dinner to a damn sandshrew, my own starter was laughing at me. I sat down in a huff, leaning back against my oversized pack. I pulled out the bag of berries that we had scavenged, resigned to my meagre dinner.

Luna: “*Come on, Marcus. Don’t take a bit of banter so hard.*” :^)

Then Luna took that moment to decide that my lap looked more comfortable than the ground. She curled up on my lap, lounging her head on her tails and looking up at me with her big brown eyes. I scratched under her neck and smiled as my frustration faded away.

Luna: “*All good now for you?*”

"Y'know," I started as I ripped off another leg off of the remaining pidgey. I tossed it towards Luna and reached for the berries. "Good thing you're cute. Cuz I don't know how else I'd put up with your stubborn tails."

I lifted a berry up to my mouth and opened it to toss it in. Luna whined loudly. I sighed heavily and divided the berries between us. I shoved her half of the berries and the rest of her pidgey towards her and leaned back into my bedroll to look at the stars.

I kinda wonder if there should’ve been some way of roping Curie into this, but eh. It’s cute so I won’t question it.

The next two days went by relatively smoothly. Both nights, we set up camp and hosted the same sandshrew. Both nights, it scampered off and left Luna and I after a small meal. On the third night, I butchered and cooked an extra pidgey for the little pokemon. It gladly devoured the fowl and disappeared into the night. I never saw it again.

Marcus: “... Dammit, I really could’ve used a third Pokémon.”

Our days were spent battling against wild pokemon that challenged the strangers traipsing through their territory. Once, just below the tree line on Mount Moon, we spotted a fearow looking for an easy meal. It soared overhead, effortlessly coasting on massive wings. Luna and I kept quiet in the trees while we waited for it to pass, simply watching the mid-day clouds drift by.

Small tweak I’d suggest there, but boy is that an ominous indication of what Fearow encounters are like given that Marcus’ instinct upon spotting one is to hide out of sight with his team.

We didn't run into any trainers, save for a five-badge intermediate rank that wasn't interested in conversation with a novice like myself. His flareon growled at us as we passed and I could feel the temperature rise several degrees.

Luna growled at the provocation, but I shut her down quickly. We didn't need to pick fights with trainers that could accidentally maim us without trying. As much as Luna wanted to, my vulpix was nothing compared to anyone above a novice level. She just didn't have the raw strength yet to battle at that level, even if she had the temperament for it.

I mean, I kinda got the impression that this was a thing based off of the description of the entry hall to the battlefield in Brock’s Gym, but now I wonder just how common is it for trainer battles to wind up with Pokémon getting seriously injured in this setting.

I often let Luna loose while we walked along the trail. I'd done much the same on our way through to Pewter and felt comfortable enough to do so again. I had my bow and my knife if anything troubled me, and Luna was always within earshot. I had to scare off an enterprising rattata once, but other than that I didn't run into anything aggressive.

Luna bounded ahead on the trail, scouting out the path ahead like a natural. Every so often we'd come around a bend and Luna would be sitting there with a smug look. I'd see signs of a struggle, scorch marks on the ground or claw marks on one of the tree trunks. My vulpix would always be sitting there, grooming her tails and acting like nothing had happened.

Oh, hey, it’s autobattling from SV. Just with a lot more mortal peril lurking in the tall grass for the trainer as well.

Curie sat on the top of my hiking bag, tucked into the nest she'd made. She kept reaching up at the tree branches and trying to grab on as we went by. More than once, I felt her tip too far and scrabble for a hold on the lip of the bag.

It was still early spring and the route was still fairly muddy from the snowmelt off Mount Moon. There weren't many other trainers taking the scenic route this early in the season, which [ ]. They'd all be ten miles south, travelling along the much larger thoroughfare that followed the coast and skirted the rougher terrain of the mountain itself.

I think that you accidentally clipped part of one of your sentences here during editing, since it ends very abruptly at the part that’s now in brackets.

Also, from how dangerous this world has been implied to be in passing narration, Marcus going this far off the beaten path sounds like a recipe for disaster since good luck getting prompt medical attention if anything happens to you.

The League maintained the thoroughfare, defending the fortified motorways from aggressive wild pokemon and repairing damage when needed. Trainers tended to cluster along these routes, challenging each other in lieu of the powerful wild pokemon that could be found in the wilds. It made for a hellish gauntlet of battle, one that could help a starting trainer build their record or sink their dream before it had even begun.

Yeah, see above. Though I wonder how the motorways are fortified and if they have literal blast walls and the like, or if they have something more akin to HL2’s Thumpers.

I simply couldn't afford to take the risk of losing. With next to no cash left, I'd be wiped out by even a single loss. I just didn't have the time or money to spare. I might have chanced it if I had a sponsor backing me, but without that financial security I didn't dare.

I see that Kanto in this story is one of those “if our eyes meet, you must battle me” societies. Since this definitely wouldn’t be an issue in Paldea. :V

Of course, I'd have probably taken the scenic route anyway. I preferred the solitude of nature and wanted to run Luna up against Mount Moon again anyways. Maybe this time I'd actually take the tunnel, rather than hike over the lowest of the mountain passes like I had on my way to Pewter.

Why do I have the feeling that this isn’t going to age well at all?

There was one time on the fourth day, where Luna came bounding back with her tails between her legs. She was limping slightly and blood was leaking from a wound on her left flank.

I nearly crapped myself when I saw the violet coloured liquid oozing from the wound. I emptied one of the two antidotes that I'd bought into the wound and wrapped it as best I could with one of the bandages. It had to have been a nidorino judging by the size of the hole. That worried me. A nido wouldn't have been alone.

Ah yes, things are going sideways nice and quickly right now. Sure hope your budget let you pick up an Antidote while you were at it, Marcus.

I pulled my bow out of its travel sock and restrung it, keeping it ready in case I needed it. It wasn't much, but it might scare off a nido scout long enough for me to get away.

>scout

Oh, so they’re communal in this setting, huh?

Nidos always travelled in packs. They didn't usually come this far east of Pewter though. They preferred the drier plains north and south of Viridian Forest. I hadn't counted on encountering anything like that and briefly considered turning south at the fork in the trail we had passed a mile back.

>packs

So… they’re not bunnies in this setting? Since if they were, I’d have suggested “warren” to lean into the “metal and violent bunny society” vibes.

This was one of the risks of taking the wilderness path. Far away from the League maintained Route, there was a risk of running into stronger wild pokemon. The further out you went, the stronger the pokemon. There were some small exceptions, but novice trainers avoided the heavy wilds for the most part.

I didn't let Luna out of sight after that, and Curie stayed in her ball until we made camp beside a small stream that night. She wouldn't be happy with me for that, but I wasn't taking any chances with a nido pack on the prowl.

See, I knew that going that far off the beaten path was tempting fate. Time to see just how quickly things go to pot for Marcus and the gang.

This time, Luna brought me a few spearow while I built the camp. There were more of the leaner birds here on Mount Moon than there were pidgey. We didn't get any visitors that night, so I actually managed to focus on cooking the whole time. I still burnt it to a crisp, but it was at least slightly less dry than my last few attempts.

Luna: “...”

Marcus: “Look, I’m trying, alright?”

Luna took one look at the meal and stalked off into the night. She reappeared maybe half an hour later, licking her chops and sprawled herself out in front of the fire. I didn't mind because it meant that I got a halfway decent meal compared to the day before.

Ah yes, going off and hunting when your human makes hash of your meal. Always a handy fallback option.

I scraped the bones into the fire and plodded over to the stream. I scrubbed my hands off, splashing water on my face as I wiped my mouth off. My shifting reflection gazed back at me from the calm stream, ragged and dirty brown hair falling down into my thin and dirt covered face. My brown eyes were dark in the late evening gloom and shadows obscured my face.

My hair had been short when I left home two months ago, cropped close to my head. Maybe I'd get it cut once I arrived in Cerulean, but for now it was an overgrown tangle. I dunked my whole head in the stream, scrubbing frantically and slicking it back. I came back up, looking at least slightly refreshed even if I was a greasy mess.

… So wait, did Marcus also look like a complete wreck like this when he challenged Brock? If so, it makes me wonder how commonly he gets obviously disheveled and broke challengers that he just runs over.

My mind wandered back to food as I lay back and watched the stars. My dinner had been enough to keep me going, but my mind couldn't help itself. I dreamt of flame-grilled tauros steaks, sweet yucca casserole, and a tall glass of Saffron-brewed iced lemonade. They taunted me from beyond a line of trees that I couldn't cross.

Oh? Because personal reasons? Or is there some sort of hazard in play here?

We woke with the sunrise, same as the days before. I silently packed the camp and doused the embers of my fire with some water from the stream. The smoke billowed out, creating a long grey pillar that slowly rose into the sky.

---

Luna woke as I lifted my bag and strapped Curie in. She stretched and yawned as I lifted my oversized hiking bag onto my back. I felt her nestle herself deeper into my pack and knew that she would likely sleep half the morning in her makeshift nest. It was heavy with Curie's added weight, but I didn't mind. It had proven good exercise on the way to Pewter, at least good enough to move me from frail weakling into a somewhat respectable shape.

I kinda wonder if there ought to have been a bit more direction for the last paragraph of the prior scene to give an indication of “right, time to go to Mt. Pewter” such that it makes the pickup in the new scene a bit less of a jump.

We were relatively close to the mountain, having made fantastic time the day before. It wasn't long before the gradual rolling hills made gave way into a rocky path that snaked its way up the mountainside. We'd gotten close enough that you could see where Mount Moon split in three from where an ancient meteor had impacted the earth.

I didn’t remember that being a detail of Mount Moon in a canonical portrayal, so I’m just going to assume that that’s a quirk specific to this story’s depiction of it.

No wild pokemon bothered us that day. We came across a few geodude picking through the loose rocks covering the path, but none of them even bothered to spare us glances. I gave them a wide berth anyways. You never knew when you'd accidentally provoke a wild pokemon. Geodude were known to be temperamental at times, so I wasn't taking any unnecessary chances. I never did need to get my bow out of its sock though, nor did Luna and I need to fight our way through.

Would the arrow have even done anything given that Geodude are functionally living rocks? Though I didn’t realize that the case / sleeve that bows are kept in could be called a ‘sock’. TIL.

After two more such detours around other groups of geodude, we finally began to come up on the view I'd been waiting for. About halfway along the overland path over Mt Moon, there was a narrow corridor through the pass that looks down on both Pewter and Cerulean. I'd made camp there for half a week while Luna and I trained for our battle with Brock. Even though it was barely even mid-day, I fully intended to stop and train for at least the rest of the day if not longer.

Imagine my surprise when I reached the top of the pass and looked down onto a pile of rubble that stretched halfway down the mountain. I swore and looked up at the wall of loose stones in frustration. It was too loose for me to safely climb down and I could still hear the rocks shifting as they settled into place.

Oh, well that’s an ominous sign if I’ve ever seen one.

"Luna, check it out. See if there's a path I could climb through."

Luna: “*... Wait, are you seriously sending me out scouting in an environment full of potentially hostile Rock-types?*”

Marcus:

She leapt up atop the rubble and scanned the path ahead. She disappeared for a moment, then looked [ ]. My vulpix looked back down at me and shook her head.

I sighed. "Double back a bit then. Maybe there's another path through the pass further back."

You’ve got another sentence here that abruptly cuts off as if something was accidentally removed. Might be worth looking through your older drafts if you’ve still got them lying around somewhere.

She chirped an agreement and disappeared over the barricade of rubble. I caught a glimpse of her a few moments later, leaping deftly up a steep path.

"I don't think I can follow that!" I called up to her.

She gestured back the way we had came and I followed her gaze. There, I saw it. A small outpost carved into the mouth of a tunnel, what looked like a waystation for miners traversing Mount Moon. I could see some rope hanging down to a lower point, maybe I could have used it to climb up.

I cupped my hands over my mouth. "Find me a path up there and we can cut through the tunnel."

Since, yeah, just going ahead and diving straight into an abandoned mine tunnel. Like does Marcus even have a flashlight right now?

Luna disappeared as I began walking back towards the outcrop. I wasn't really in great shape, but a life spent slacking off on the farm was still a relatively healthy lifestyle. I thought I had a decent chance at making it up that rope if I needed to.

I take it that Marcus hasn’t done much manual labor recently? You’d think that that would be a bit hard to avoid on a farm, but eh. It’s already fairly mechanized in reality, so…

Then the ground began to shake and I heard the rumble of rolling thunder storming down the mountain at me.

I looked up, confused by the sound. There wasn't a rain cloud in the sky today, and the ground was dry as a bone.

Ah yes, now things are going to go pear-shaped. Sounds like those Rock-types are throwing their weight around.

"Luna!" I boomed over the thunder. I felt the vibration of the sound in my chest and knew that something dangerous was happening. "Get back here!"

Then I saw them. An avalanche of rubble was racing down the mountain towards me, knocked loose by the pair of graveler rolling down the mountain. They were locked in a race, seeing who could get to the bottom of the hill first.

And there it is. Though as a minor nitpick, but ‘Graveler’ has one ‘l’ in it. I actually completely forgot about this being a part of Graveler’s official dex fluff, though I actually hadn’t considered that Graveler would make a competitive game out of things.

Luna was barely a half-step in front of them. She motored downhill at an impressive speed, keeping her footing like she'd been born in the rocky terrain of Mount Moon rather than the dense forests around Saffron. Even still, gravity would have the pair of graveler outrunning her before long.

Wait, is there a reason why Luna isn’t just jumping out of the way of the Graveler? Or is the idea that she’s trying to outrun the Graveler and the rockfall? Since it’s a little unclear from from the phrasing if that’s so.

Humanity learned long ago what happened when you built towns right at the base of mountains. Some dumb-as-a-rock graveler would decide that it would be fun to use the shiny new town at the bottom of the hill as the finish line for their race.

Graveler #1: “*Oi, I am a rock!*”
Marcus: “Yes, that’s the idea.” >_>;

I returned Curie to her ball as I turned and ran, pointing and shouting for Luna to follow. The avalanche of rubble bore down on the mountain, the thunder growing until the unending storm of stone was right on top of me. I hugged as closely to the wall of the pass as I could, avoiding a rock the size of a pokeball as it smashed into the ground beside me.

Luna hit the ground beside me, dashing ahead as the first of the graveller thundered by. A torrent of stones poured over the cliff from above, shaking me to my bones as they landed at my heels. One of them glanced off my side and split when it hit the ground, landing heavily mere inches away from me.

Marcus:

I saw the opening in the pass wall and made my decision. I was never going to outrun an avalanche of stone, and I knew that the tunnel network under Mount Moon was one of the most extensive in the world. Half of the mountain was hollow, dug out by miners in the ages past. It was our only chance out of this mess.

Sure hope you brought a flashlight for this, Marcus, since otherwise you’re going to have some serious problems in short order.

I dove for the cave opening just as the rest of the deluge crashed down and blocked the opening. I felt and heard the second graveler roll past us and watched as the rocks pouring into the cave opening shifted with the second avalanche of stones.

For a brief moment, a crack of light shone through the blocked cave entrance. Then what sounded like half the mountain rumbled past and Luna and I were plunged into complete darkness.

Yeeeeeeah, I’m going to take the under on Marcus having thought to bring a flashlight with him.

Thank goodness that I was as prepared as I was. I hadn't really intended for travel underground, but I had trained Luna to control her wisps well enough that we could use them for light. The blue ball of ghost fire levitated behind us, casting the cave in cold blue light. Even if it wasn't a warm, safe light, it was still fending off the dark.

>going off into the boonies in a world full of dangerous wildlife
>without bringing a flashlight of any sort with you

Marcus, I get that you’re tight on cash, but u wot, m8? Like what would you have done if Luna was injured right now?

Food however, would be an issue even if it wasn't an immediate one. I only had three emergency rations, and nothing specific for Luna to eat. I had intended to have her hunt most of our food, but underground that wouldn't be an option. Theoretically I could scavenge some of the mushrooms that I might find, but I didn't trust my knowledge of edible fungi enough to risk it.

I’m… going to guess that Marcus didn’t bring an Escape Rope with him right now.

My bow had been smashed inside of its sock. The carefully carved and treated wood was splintered and cracked, a large divot driven into the wood. I thought back, vaguely remembering the impact on my side. It must have hit my bow and snapped it. I cursed silently, mourning the loss of something so vital in such a careless way.

Whelp, there goes Marcus’ budget for the next 2 to 3 gyms.

Curie could remain in her ball until we were safe, but I couldn't keep her in there forever. We had to move quickly and get back above ground at the first possible point. I trusted that the tunnel network was extensive enough to get us back above ground relatively soon.

Oh, Pokéballs don’t have stasis abilities in this setting? Though otherwise I’m a bit curious as to what’s the ‘why’ behind the underlined bit.

So that's what we did. I pointed us eastwards with my compass and kept us moving slowly towards Cerulean, knowing that eventually I'd find a tunnel that led back up to the surface or at the very least one of the larger tunnels that the Takeshi mining company maintained. At least there, I'd have some light and probably a better sense of direction.

Right, this setting likes using Japanese localization names for trainers as surnames, even if this would be really rare IRL since Takeshi is more typically a given name. Though Brock coming from a family with mining interests, huh? Wonder if he yuks it up with Byron and Roark at all.

Luna and I wandered for what seemed like hours. It probably was hours. I couldn't tell. With no light other than the wisp at my shoulder and no clock to speak of, I had no idea how much time had passed.

How on earth did this guy set off from home without a phone or even a wristwatch? Or is the idea that he used to have one, it got smashed a while back, and Marcus had no budget to replace it?

If it’s indeed the latter, it might’ve been worth explicitly bringing up to play up the dual vibe that it’s a dangerous world and that Marcus’ place in it is precarious such that he’s having to skimp on basic safety and survival gear in order to keep his dream of becoming a champion alive.

Wild zubat harried us more and more often as we moved deeper into the caves. Luna dispatched them all with ease, though I was worried that she'd run out of stamina before the cave ran out of zubat. I found myself desperately wishing that I had a second battle capable pokemon but Luna met every challenge with gusto. Even still, she had limits. I kept her from instigating battles, but it still felt like we were fighting off a new group of zubat every few minutes.

I see that Marcus is getting the “Mt. Moon Experience”™ in live-time.

Luna: “*Marcus, why are you not just giving me an Ether-?*”

Marcus: “No budget.”
Luna: “*... Right, that’s a thing.*”

Exhaustion was setting in and we were starting to make mistakes. My eyes fooled me more than once when reading the compass. We'd have to double back every now and then, erasing my idiotic mistakes at the cost of precious time. Then there were the dead ends that compounded my mistakes. At one point, the tunnel we had been following for over an hour simply narrowed until I couldn't go any further. I sent Luna ahead to see if it led anywhere, but she returned less than a minute later. It was simply a dead end.

Luna: “*And we’re not using a guiding string to track our positions down this tunnel why-?*”
Marcus: “Again, no budget.”
Luna: “*Seriously, Marcus? Just how broke are you?!*” >_>;

Finally, after having burned through my second emergency ration on what felt like the second day underground, I heard a voice. It wasn't one of the far-off echoes that I'd thought I'd heard, it was a real human voice. I forged on, ignoring the aching pain in my ankles and the exhaustion in my bones.

Marcus: “Hell… o? Who’s out there?”

I stepped into a cavern that stretched nearly fifty feet across. A thin beam of moonlight shone down from a crack in the cave roof, illuminating a rough, pockmarked stone in the centre of the cavern.

Marcus: “You’re kidding me.” >.<

I glanced back at Luna. "More light," I ordered.

I felt a pit in my stomach as the [ ]. Scat and bones lined the cavern floor like some macabre carpet. All around me were signs of pokemon, warning signs that I was standing somewhere I absolutely shouldn't be.

Another spot where you seem to be missing part of your sentence there. Though if Marcus weren’t as broke as he was, I can already tell he’d be burning his shoes after all of this.

I glanced down at Luna, confirming my fears. Her ears were flat against the sides of her head and her tails flicked back and forth aggressively. She knew this was not a welcoming place.

I swept my gaze across the cave wall, searching for another exit. It was covered in little alcoves and small passageways. Whatever this place was, I didn't want to stay for long. If it had Luna spooked then I sure as hell didn't want any part of whatever called this place home.

Well, that’s a surefire way of telling that Marcus and Luna are about to have a BAD TIME™ here.

Then I heard it. The same voice as before, chanting and singing. A dozen more voices joined it, adding to the eerie chorus.

Light began to glow from the tunnel Luna and I had come from. We turned to run and I stopped dead in my tracks. A second cave mouth was glowing, the chanting voices growing louder and stronger with every second.

“Chanting and singing” voices, huh? Are these supposed to be Clefairy? SInce boy would that be a super ominous and menacing take on them if so.

Luna growled and I returned her to her ball unceremoniously. She was brave, but this was not a situation we could fight our way out of. I crammed myself into one of the alcoves on the cave wall. The wisp of blue light disappeared and I pressed myself into the cave wall as far as I could go, praying that I was damn near invisible.

They came by the dozens, little pink creatures still chanting in some strange arcane language. I shrunk back as I fearfully realized what I was watching.

Clefairy confirmed. Though this is the first time that I’ve ever seen one depicted as a legitimately dangerous and sinister light, so congratulations for managing to lean into their fey tendencies in a way that fits a hard-edged world.

There were some theories about the origins of the clefairy of Mount Moon on the fringes of the scientific community. They were mostly the work of conspiracy theorists and online whack jobs, but unlike most other theories this one had at least a few major supporters, Professor Samuel Oak chief among them.

Clefairy are rare. So rare that Mount Moon houses the only known population. So when people suggested that these strange pink creatures could have originated somewhere other than earth, it made at least a little sense. Watching them dance and worship a meteorite, I couldn't decide if the whack jobs were right or if the clefairy were just nuts.

I mean, they could also just be a Pokémon equivalent of a cargo cult, but that’s boring so let’s go alone with the “aliums” explanation for a while.

The meteorite seemed to respond to the strange ritual around it. It lit up like some kind of messed up beacon, filling the cavern with blinding light. I covered my eyes and shrank back into the alcove as deeply as I could.

The light faded and I cautiously uncovered my eyes. I could still see spots, misshapen figures dancing around the edge of my vision. I rubbed my eyes and prayed that they were telling me lies.

They’re doing blood sacrifices or something like that in live-time, aren’t they?

The clefable twirled and sang, clearly overjoyed by the evolution. I shrunk back in fear, I knew the reputation of the fae was a false one. They were not the simple, happy creatures that weekend cartoons painted them as. Fairies were cruel, sadistic and capable of intelligent thought. They wouldn't hesitate to punish the dumb little human for accidentally stumbling into their den.

Just like in real life folklore. Though that actually makes me wonder why such stories of Fairymons aren’t a bit more widespread in this setting’s popular consciousness.

I didn't dare to move a muscle. My only hope was that the psychotic little monsters didn't notice my presence.

Something touched the back of my neck. I nearly leapt to my feet screaming, but the threat of certain death stopped me. I shimmied, trying to peek over my shoulder to see what it was. I heard a panicked squeak and felt something crawl down the back of my jacket.

Wait, is that Curie, or…?

That did it for me. I clamped my hand over my mouth, stifling a scream of terror that nearly gave me away. I fought with everything I could to remain motionless, ignoring every instinct in my body to run screaming from whatever creepy crawly had taken refuge in my clothes.

The squirming lump struggled around my torso, crawling over onto my stomach and digging into my body with too many sharp points. It was a bug of some kind and my mind leapt to fearful conclusions. I swatted at the lump, trying to shoo the pokemon away without drawing the attention of the murderous fairies.

Oh, this is that part where Marcus loses his ear, isn’t it?

The lump seemed to turn around. It oriented itself towards my head and began inching up my chest. I could do nothing but watch in terrified silence as the little lump slowly crawled towards my head.

My jacket parted as a pair of claws worked the zipper open. A small set of beady black eyes looked up at me with the same fear I was feeling. Then it sneezed a cocktail of spores directly into my face.

Ohai, Paras.

I tried to get to my feet, crawl away, do anything at all but my legs refused to move. I felt my eyes grow heavy and shut. Then I felt nothing at all.

Ah yes, falling onto a cave floor covered in bones and literal crap. That’s going to be fun to deal with afterwards.

I sucked in a breath of cold, damp air and choked on the saliva pooling in my mouth. I rolled out of the alcove and sat up, hacking my lungs out into the darkness.

The fairies were gone, something that probably saved my life. I heard legs skittering away and shrieked as I felt the pool of sticky warm liquid under my hand.

Marcus: “... That’s blood, isn’t it?”

I felt the pain as my senses slowly came back to me. I coughed madly, hacking up a congealed paste of spores that gagged me as I spat it out. My head was spinning and pain throbbed with every heartbeat. I felt at my aching ear and pulled my hand away in horror. Blood covered my hand, more of the sticky red caking my neck.

I stared dumbfounded at my bloody hand, looking back down at the pool of blood behind me. "My ear." I said dumbly. "It ate my ear."

Aaaaand there it is. Even if I’m a little surprised that Paras managed to do that without alerting the Clefairy earlier. Guess they don’t have a good sense of smell.

I rolled away from the alcove and got to my feet, dumbly looking around the cavern. It was bright, with a ray of sunshine beaming in through the crack in the mountainside. The paras chattered at me from behind, bringing me back to the present, and my hand dropped to my belt.

Luna was out in a flash of light. She growled instinctively as I mumbled a string of garbled words. The smell of my blood was thick in the air and she could tell that something was very wrong. My vulpix lunged forward, tearing into the little bug with reckless abandon. All my little girl knew was that I was hurt and that the paras was responsible.

Live look at Luna in about 5 seconds:

I didn't wait for her to finish eviscerating the paras. I steadied myself on the meteorite in the centre of the room, dropping my pack heavily to the floor. It landed in pokemon scat and shattered bones, but at that moment I could have cared less. I poured half my remaining water over my ear, washing away the freshest of the blood but doing nothing for the caked and dried mud and blood running down my neck.

Though wait, does Vulpix even learn biting or slashing moves that could be used to disembowel an opponent? I’m a bit surprised she didn’t use her Fire attacks more here, since… y’know, Paras and all that.

I pulled out my bandage and carefully wrapped my head. It wouldn't do much, but I hoped it would hold until I could reach Cerulean. I tipped back my water bottle and drained the rest in two long gulps. My empty stomach protested as I eagerly drank my water and I glanced down at my last ration.

I couldn't resist. I tore open the packaging, devouring half the ration in moments. I offered Luna the dried tauros jerky and she reluctantly gulped down the remnants of my ration.

I’m a little surprised that Marcus is this calm after losing an ear. Wonder if that has any implications for the sort of stuff he’s seen and dealt with in the past since most people would be freaking out hard right now.

I dug back into my bag and pulled out my compass and. I glanced down at the compass and oriented us eastwards. The other tunnel into the cavern led off to the southeast, sloping slightly down as it went.

"Only one choice," I said. "Not enough supplies to go back."

Marcus: “Also, I’m pretty sure the Clefairy went off in that direction so… yeah, we’re not going back.”

Luna nodded and trotted towards the tunnel. I smiled and lifted my pack onto my back. At least my starter had confidence enough for both of us.

The tunnel narrowed considerably as we continued down it. All over the walls and ceiling there were little holes and alcoves like the one I had hidden in. I didn't spot any more paras, but I gave them all as wide a berth as I could. The last thing I needed was another face full of spores when I was weak and extremely low on supplies.

Marcus: “Yeah, I’ll pass on losing any more parts of my body, thanks.”

We didn't run into a single pokemon down that tunnel. I found that eerie, though I didn't dwell on it. I didn't have the energy.

Ah yes, truly a portent of only good things to come for Marcus and the gang.

I didn't even see the dead end coming in the dimming light of Luna's wisp. Walked right into the cave wall and smacked my face off the smooth stone. I stepped back, looking at the wall dumbfounded.

"Where the hell do I go then?" I asked to nobody in particular. I glanced around the tunnel and closed my eyes in frustration. It was a dead end. There had been no forks in the tunnel. It just simply ran into a dead end. "Where the hell do I go?!" I shouted.

Cave:

Marcus: “... Yeah, I’m gonna wait for a second opinion there.”

"Hello?" Asked a muffled voice.

I nearly fell over in shock. "Hello?" I half shouted, not sure if my sleep deprived mind was playing tricks on me. "Is someone there? I'm stuck at a dead end and I have no food or water left. Please help me!"

I kinda wonder if this is happening a little fast given that Marcus has over the course of heaven-knows-how-long gotten stranded in a cave, lost his means of sustenance, burned through all his food, and is now missing an ear. It might have made sense to dwell on the sense of dawning despair sinking in on him from the “oh god, I’m gonna die here alone in this god-forsaken cave” a bit more, which gets a bit short-circuited by how quickly this other party finds him.

I heard a scratching at the wall of the tunnel and banged my fists against the spot.

"I think you're behind the wall," the voice said. "Step back and whatever you do, don't freak out. Domitian doesn't really like that."

Oh, well that sound ominous regarding whatever Domitian is.

I opened my mouth to ask who or what Domitian was. The wall of the cave shook and I realized that I didn't really care. I stepped back from the end of the tunnel as a grey skinned arm blasted through the stone. Impossibly powerful muscles tore through the tunnel wall with ease. They ripped away at the stone and cleared more space. A second arm appeared, forcing the opening larger, then a third, then a fourth.

Ah, so he’s a Rhydon. Noted.

The machamp forced its way into the tunnel with a grunt. It turned its head to look at me with a happy grumble. Luna growled at him, her tails flaring and her hair standing on end. I returned her to her ball before she could start a battle that she had no hope of winning.

Scratch that. Maybe it was an artifact of the time when I was reviewing this part, but I didn’t realize that ‘third’ and ‘fourth’ were also ‘arms’ there.

"Domitian, let him out," said the voice. It was a woman's voice, a smile in her tone.

The machamp nodded and lumbered back out of the hole he had made. I stepped through the hole and into the light. I heard the woman gasp as I blocked the sun out with my arm.

"You look like hell, honey."

Marcus: “I feel like hell right now. Though where am I anyways?

I brushed my fingers against the patchwork of scratches on the left side of my face. "Paras got me," I responded. "Think he got some of my ear," I added as I gingerly poked at the exposed skin.

I looked at her as my eyes adjusted to the sunlight. She was pretty, in a rugged sort of way. Her brown hair was up in a messy bun and her face was covered in a network of fading scars. She was older than I was, likely a veteran trainer if her gear was any indication.

Wait, just how frequently do people get mauled out in the boonies for this woman to have multiple facial scars on her?

"You're lucky it was only a paras. One of the big ones wouldn't have left enough for you to walk away." She peered at my wrapping and gently poked at the bloody bandage. "Name's Gemma. Mind if I take a look at that?"

>Gemma

I’m guessing that that’s not the same ‘Gemma’ from the anime there.

I was too tired to protest, simply grunting in pain when she peeled the bandage away and began to rewrap it with a fresh bandage from her own pack.

She whistled appreciatively. "Gonna leave a hell of a scar, kid. I'm almost jealous."

Wait, Marcus still has anything left of his ear right now?

I raised my eyebrow. "Jealous?" I asked.

She smirked knowingly. "Hell of a way to get your first real training scar." She lifted up her shirt, showing me the faint trio of lines that ran across her stomach. "Got my first one from a persian that thought I was an easy meal. Domitian got it though, back when he was still just a machop!"

Okay, yeah. Getting mauled by Pokémon out in the boonies while training is apparently common enough that it’s a rite of passage. Noted, then. Makes me wonder what on earth family structure in this setting is like, since this sounds like a recipe for long-term population decline if fertility rates are anywhere close to what they are in IRL developed countries.

I raised my eyebrow. "Do you expose yourself to every trainer you meet?"

"Just the handsome ones," she said with a wink. She looked down at my bag and grinned at my ragged state. My clothes were caked in scat and dried blood and I had an exhausted scowl on my face. "Where are you headed, novice?"

"Cerulean," I started.

Gemma: “Really? Since I was kinda hoping you’d say ‘a shower’ first.”

She raised a ball and returned her machamp. "It's the opposite way I was heading, but I'm not due for a few days. I can give you a lift to Cerulean. That cut could use some proper attention before it gets infected." She smirked again and I felt a twinge of annoyance at her cheery demeanour. "You seem like you're entertaining too, to say the least." She glanced up at my bandaged head. "Who gets themselves snacked on by a paras and lives to tell the tale?"

Oh hey, there’s a reaction image to sum this bit of dialogue up:

I didn't protest the help. I was bone tired, my stomach was burning and my head was pounding. I'd be dead if it weren't for Gemma.

She raised another ball and shot me a look. "Lilith is a little skittish, so just don't make any sudden movements and she won't peck your eyes out." She narrowed her eyes and seemed unsure of herself for a moment. "Probably," she added suddenly.

>probably

Do I want to know how commonly little kids get mauled by undertrained Pokémon in this setting on an annual basis? Since I feel like the answer is ‘a lot’.

My eyes widened. "That's not very-"

She tapped the release on the ball before I could even finish. Lilith stretched her neck up to the sky and unfurled her wings. She stretched, enjoying the evening sun on her feathers. Then she saw me.

I froze. She froze. Gemma froze. Then the fearow screeched and I felt my stomach drop. I saw my life flash before my eyes as the fearow lunged with a beak that could skewer me in a flash.

Ah yes, putting the ‘Fear’ in ‘Fearow’ there.

Gemma was faster though. Somehow, she got an arm around Lilith's neck and stopped her from killing me. She pulled her fearow down to the ground, petting the murderous pokemon's neck all while she struggled to impale me with a three foot-long beak.

Marcus: “Lady, that thing does not look remotely well-trained right now.”

Gemma: “... She warms after she starts to get comfortable?”

I stepped back, heart pounding and eyes wide. "I'm supposed to ride that?" I asked incredulously.

"Hey," Gemma started. "It's that or have her carry you."

Ah yes, adding a few talon wounds along with that messed-up ear. What could possibly go wrong?

I took one look at Lilith's wicked talons and instantly made up my mind. "On second thought, I'm fine with riding."

Wise choice, Marcus.

Gemma shot me a devious smile and released her chokehold on her murderous fearow. She straightened out and dusted herself off. "Best get on our way then. The light's dying and Lilith here gets real ornery at night."

Marcus: “Are you trying to incentivize me to turn around and go and lay down to die in that cave?!” O_O;

I looked up at Lilith in fear as the fearow eyeballed me murderously. If this was her calm, then I really didn't want to know what ornery was. Unfortunately for me, I had a sinking feeling that I was sure to find out.

inb4 she spends half the flight to Cerulean trying to throw Marcus from her back.

The tall man stood over the shorter man's desk, a grim scowl borne on his face.

"It's never a good thing when you come visit my lab," said the short man. "What did Blaine have to say?"

"He refused our latest proposal, as was expected. He called it tempting fate."

Wait, is this something that Marcus was there to see in person, or else whose viewpoint are we seeing this through right now?

"Then perhaps he is compromised, as I suggested. Surge could have gotten through to him."

"I doubt that," he replied. "his distaste for the Ranger outweighs his sense of duty." The tall man took a seat opposite the shorter man. "He is an unknown, whatever the case. What do you suggest now?"

"That we simply allow events to unfold. We have spent years setting the board and rigging the game for this moment." He shook his head. "The boys have departed for their journey. We can influence the board no longer. It is simply time to gather our strength and wait. Our time will come."

Oh, well that sounds really ominous there. Though I wonder if we’re dealing with Professor Oak here or Rockets.

The tall man scowled. "I detest waiting."

"As do I," came the short man's reply. "However, our captive was clear enough and Lance has not cleared further direct action. The gods have begun to stir in their sleep. The timeline still matches up with what he knows and yet we have no counter for destruction."

This story is going to go to some wild places, I can already tell. It’ll be quite a journey (har har) to see Marcus wind up getting to a point where he’ll be staring these threats head-on.

The tall man contemplated for a moment. "I wish to speak with him again."

"Impossible," replied the shorter man. "he is lost to us, unless Lance deems it necessary." He scowled. "The champion's paranoia knows no bounds as of late."

Ah yes, Red. Off in solitude on his mountains… when he’s not going through the smoldering ruins of Unova. Or at least, I think that’s Red, anyways.

"Then I shall petition him," the tall man said. "We require more information, more insight. Lance has never refused me yet."

The shorter man smirked. "That man is mad," he said. "lost in the universe and lost in himself. He will provide clear insight no more than Lance will allow us to speak with him."

Totally a positive sign for how Red(?) is doing right now. Though that makes me wonder when the events of Legends: Sinjoh are happening relative to this story, since after reading bits of it, that ‘lost in the universe’ line stood out a bit.

The tall man scowled. "Then we must wait," he said. "Or I must move against Lance myself and retrieve him."

"We wait," the short man confirmed. "No sense in rash action yet."

The tall man's scowl deepened. "Even a rash action is better than no action at all, old friend."

I am not convinced that that statement will age well at all, but you do you, creepy ominous shadow figure.

Pokédex Entry # 46: Paras

Paras are most commonly found on the foothills of Mount Moon as well as under the mountain itself. Some reports of unique colonies of the species across the Orange Islands have been reported, raising questions as to how this landlocked pokemon managed to cross an ocean.

Floating mats of vegetation? That is a theory of how some species of animals made it out to various Pacific islands IRL.

Paras are small, segmented insects. They have three pairs of legs, with the forelegs possessing a set of rather sharp claws. Paras are not traditionally dangerous, though trainers should take caution not to become trapped in close quarters with them. The small mushrooms on the backs of the paras secrete spores that can induce sleep or paralysis in large doses.

As we got to observe in loving detail with Marcus earlier this chapter.

Paras and parasect spores have a multitude of medical uses and have become a staple among Kanto farmers for the many uses of their spores. The species' timid nature and lack of aggression has made the domestication process surprisingly smooth.

Wait, so there’s straight up domesticated versus wild Pokémon in this setting? I wonder how much of a behavioral gap there is between the two.

Novice Trainer, KT#07996101, Marcus Wright, Current Roster

Luna, Vulpix

Curie, Happiny

Marcus: “We could’ve had a Sandshrew added to that list, but no…” >_>;

Well that chapter certainly went places. I mean, I kinda had a feeling that this would come based on what I’d read of other stories that share this setting, but two chapters in and already putting your protagonist through hell, huh? Definitely quite a way to leave an impression. It’s honestly what I think is this story’s strongest suit thus far. It’s a bit on the darkfic side, but it does a pretty a good job at breathing a sense of a living and breathing world with its own rules that it follows to their logical conclusions without flinching. Ditto the tease at the end that leaves the readers hungry for more coming down the pipe later on.

In terms of criticisms, I noticed that you had a few parts here and there in the chapter that felt like things accidentally got left on the cutting room floor. I also thought there were a couple places that could’ve been slowed down and expanded a bit more, particularly for that moment where Marcus quite literally hits a wall after a crappy day and sinks into despair… which we don’t really get to see. Also, little things that read a bit as oversights on Marcus’ end such as him not having a flashlight for nighttime where “thar be monsters” is quite literally a thing just a couple minutes away from civilization feel like they’d be a lot less so if you tied it into Marcus’ money problems a bit more explicitly.

Though aside from those quibbles, I thought that the chapter was put together quite well. My understanding is that you rewrote the earlier chapters of DoD within the past year, and your effort shows here. Good work, @Joshthewriter , and I’ll be looking forward to the next time our paths cross again for this story.

 

[Joshthewriter]

Journey

Death of Duty

Part 7: The Fall of the Pokemon League

War​

---

The point of war is not to die for your beliefs. Its to make the other poor bastard die for his. — Ranger Lt. Col. Emmet "Surge" Roth ​

---

The world flipped end over end as I tumbled through the air. I would have screamed if I had been able to draw a breath. Instead, I grabbed desperately at my ball belt.

I was going for Artemis. She might've been able to catch me. The wind fought back, tearing my hand away from the ball. I pulled it close and worked my hand down to my waist. My hand tapped the ball and I heard her roar over the wind rushing past me.

I caught a glimpse of Artemis tucking her wings into a dive as I flipped again, before the city replaced it once more. Rooftops whizzed past me as I plummeted towards the street.

She grabbed me, talons digging into my stomach and impaling me with her haste. Her wings snapped out and I felt myself bend violently as she slowed our descent. Then her talons let go and I fell into open air once more.

---

"Surge has been forced back several blocks," Leopold droned. "we cannot hope to sustain this attack without his assistance."

"Doesn't matter," I spat bitterly. I wiped the Rocket at my feet's blood from my blade. "Retreat is death."

He limped over to me, taking care to remain behind the car that we had sheltered behind. "So is this," he said. "We have to—"

I grabbed him and forced him down as I lashed out. My blade found purchase in the soldier's neck. He stared back at me in surprise, before slumping back to the ground.

Brutus let out a victorious bellow. The gunfire had slowed to a halt, at least on this block. War still raged in the distance, violent chaos echoing from every direction.

"Go," I said. "back to support Surge's push. Take the men and go, before I change my mind."

"My Lady Anzu—"

"No," I replied. "Just Janine," I said. I was not my mother. The failures piling up at my feet were proof enough of that.

I looked up at the Silph Tower in frustration. We'd been fighting our way through Saffron all night with no real progress to show for it. Rocket had been joined by elements of the Kanto National Army in an act of treachery.

From what we had been able to tell, Giovanni had one of his men inside the Indigo Parliament initiate a lockdown of the Parliament chambers. We hadn't been able to get in contact with any of the civilian government, nor the League's Board of Directors.

Military leadership had been similarly affected. Army and Air Force officials at Indigo Command were non-responsive, with Ranger Command going dark minutes later. In that same moment, the Saffron Rangers came under attack by elements of the KNA. The Rangers had routed and the KNA had fortified the city.

That was yesterday. Today, Surge had spearheaded an assault by our makeshift coalition, drawing on support from Cerulean, Celadon and Fuchsia. It hadn't gone well. Neither had the surprise attacks in each of those cities by more traitorous elements of the KNA. By all accounts, Kanto was quickly descending into a full-blown civil war.

Surge had penetrated the furthest into the city, but a series of missile barrages from military positions east and west of the city had forced Vermillion's finest to retreat. He was leading another assault on the main approach to Silph, but even he was hard pressed to take much ground.

Erika and her gym trainers had managed to seal the western gates behind a hundred years of plant growth, cutting off the army's main supply route into the city. Rocket and the army had retaliated. My last contact with Erika had been two hours ago, when she had relayed her intention to sweep north and link up with Misty and the Rangers out of Cerulean.

I grimaced at the thought. Misty had sounded in a rough spot at her last contact. Hopefully there was something left for Erika to link up with. Hopefully Erika was still alive to link up with Misty.

"My Lady, I must insist that you—"

"I'll move faster alone," I said. It was true. I would have been able to creep past the last guard post if I had been alone. It had been one of my shinobi that had slipped up. "and I can do more good this way. We need to get into Silph."

He scowled, a common reaction from my second in command. "You will do no good if you are dead," he replied. "I will not—"

"Leo," I started, in an attempt to project calm. "this is the way. This is how we win." I conveniently left out the part where I mentioned that my supply of potions was gone, and that I'd used more than I cared to admit on myself.

He was quiet. He knew what I meant. Giovanni had to die for this to end. He knew what I was proposing.

"Fight well," he said solemnly. "be swift and silent and victory will not elude you."

I nodded and grabbed his hand. He pulled me in with one arm, wrapping the other around me for a brief moment. "Be safe, little thorn."

The mention of the pet name my mother had given me in childhood took me aback. "I always am, Leo," I whispered to him. "they gotta find me to kill me, remember?"

He chuckled. "They'll never see you coming."

I hesitated in responding for just a moment. Fleeting self doubt swelled within me until I drowned in it. It would only ever take one mistake. One person looking left when I thought they were looking right.

Leo knew. He always knew. He had been the first of my father's men to pledge himself to me, mere moments after I'd done the deed. He could see me better than even Marcus could at times.

He nodded. "After all, neither did he."

My resolve came flooding back. I was Lady Janine of the Anzu Clan. I had taken my place atop my city. Father had not stopped me, despite all his efforts. Rocket had not stopped me, despite all their efforts. I was an Indigo Gym Leader and I would prove what that was worth.

---

I crept along the tunnel, blade raised and ball ready. It was silent, though I did not trust that meant that tunnel was empty. Rocket had fooled my senses before. They'd found a way to imitate the abilities of the Shades through strange artefacts, and warped science a thousand strange ways. I had no doubt that they would continue to do so here.

This was their big play, their last hurrah. They'd emptied themselves for this attack, spent every last drop of manpower and manipulated their way into more. They were desperate and that made them unpredictable.

I emerged from the tunnel into a small chamber. Pipes and wiring ran in bundles along the ceiling, and the only light came from the small emergency bulbs that slowly pulsed every few meters.

A small rustle of wind moved through my hair. I heard the sound of a rusted door wrenching open and multiple people rushing through. I was no longer alone down here, if I had ever been. I reached up and pulled my hood over my head, slipping into the corner of the chamber and behind a large crate. I would retain the element of surprise, no matter who was coming.

A harried whisper broke the silence from the tunnels. "Which way, Elias?"

"I don't know," replied another voice. "I've never been down here before today." He paused for a moment, breathing heavily. "Damn thing's still bleeding."

I heard someone fussing over him and the obvious frustration in his voice as he waved them off. These were trainers. Injured trainers, if they were to be believed.

They emerged into the chamber I was hidden in, three of them carrying a fourth between them. The woman in the middle was dripping blood from a gaping wound on her side. She looked pale and haggard, and though her eyes were still open they drooped dangerously.

"Set her down," said the man who'd spoken before. He had white hair, though it was flecked with blood and dirt in spots. "give me a minute to think."

"We don't have a minute," replied the other man. "they'll be on us any second and—"

My hand tapped the ball on my left hip. The seal around Brutus' ball popped open as I buried my hooded face in my elbow.

The flash of light and sound hit me like a fist in the chest. Even with my hood up and my eyes covered, my senses were rocked by the flashbang seal.

To the four trainers in the chamber, it was deafening.

To the trio of Rockets that had just burst in after them, it was just what I needed..

I moved fast and quiet, leaving Brutus' ferocious bellow to draw the attention of the stunned Rockets. One man fell beneath my blade before he could even realize I was there. The second turned in shock, only to have me separate his head from his body.

The third managed to reach the ball belt on his hip. A light flashed, before my blade did the same and relieved the man of his hand. It dropped to the floor, ball still clutched within it. He tried to scream, but I silenced him with a quick thrust.

Brutus took the hypno before it could bring its power to bear. He batted the stout psychic type across the chamber and into the wall. It crashed into the wall, leaving a bloody crater behind when it slumped to the floor. My drapion scuttled his way over to the downed hypno and dispatched it with a swipe of his pincer.

I scanned the chamber, making sure that there wasn't another group coming down a different tunnel. When no more Rockets made themselves known, I finally turned to the trainers. I cleared my throat.

"Thank you," said the white haired man. He squinted at me, blinking rapidly and try to regain his vision. "They've been on us since Silph."

"Silph?" I asked.

He nodded. "Some kind of big project got completed and their boss is trying to secure the prototype." He glanced back over his shoulder, at the tunnel they'd come from. "But you aren't getting in that way. They sealed off the tunnels after the Ranger got in through them."

"Ranger?" I asked. Marcus was still in Pallet Town with Oak as far as I knew, but with all the chaos he might've come to Silph early. I couldn't tell with Ranger communications in such disarray. "What Ranger?"

He frowned. "Scarred up side of the face, brown hair. Maybe a bit taller than you." His scowl deepened. "His name was Mar—"

"Thank you," I said hurriedly. He was here. And he was trying to take on Rocket alone. Reckless idiot. Brave, reckless idiot. "Keep moving away from the tower. There's a Ranger post set up at the south gates. If you can reach them, you'll be safe there."

"With all due respect," he replied. "We want to help." He gestured over his shoulder, at the injured woman. "Nicholas can take her on, he isn't a fighter. We want to help you take on Rocket."

I looked at them. They were trainers, experienced ones if the scars and weathered pokeballs were to be believed. I could use them as backup, or a distraction.

"Trainers help each other," he continued.

It took all the effort in the world not to drop my jaw. Marcus liked that saying, liked the simplicity in it. He'd used it when he met me, and I'd heard him repeat the phrase to himself. I nodded and felt myself grin. "Trainers help each other."

---

The fighting had intensified on the surface. We emerged from the tunnels onto a rooftop adjacent to the Silph Tower, having taken a staircase into a residential building. Surge must have been pushing closer, because the fighting sounded close.

"They're almost at the courtyard," The white haired man said. He pointed down at the men rushing about, taking up their firing positions and forming up at the south end of the square.

I'd learned his name was Elias. He'd met Marcus during the tenta-swarm attack on Vermillion. The other trainer was a young woman, maybe in her twenties. She hadn't given her name, but she had a thick Kalosian accent.

"But it's a goddamn killzone. The army is too dug in." Elias shook his head and stepped back from the edge of the building. "Not to mention any of the Rockets inside the building."

"Surge will handle it," I replied. "the army isn't a match for him without pokemon."

"Maybe he can, but that'll take time that we don't have." He stepped back and pointed upwards. "There's fighting near the top of the building."

I looked upwards. Lightning flashes and gouts of flame made it clear. The top of the building shook visibly as smoke and dust billowed out of the shattering windows.

"Marcus," I whispered. It had to be him. He'd ordered Elias and the others out of the building before they'd lost contact.

A few moments of silence passed as the Silph Tower belched smoke against Saffron's skyline. We watched the Jewel of Kanto burn. Rocket had caused all of this. Giovanni had caused all of—

Another window shattered, a figure tumbling free. It flipped end over end, flailing wildly. A flash of light erupted from the man and the unmistakable silhouette of an aerodactyl darkened Saffron's sky.

"MARCUS!" I shrieked.

I didn't hear Elias or the other two say anything. Shimmer was out in a flash, the giant venomoth guiding my leap with a psychic nudge. I released Cherish, my ariados, with an order that I'd given a hundred times. We soared upwards as though a hot wind were lifting us, but it still wasn't fast enough.

Artemis got to Marcus first. She closed her rear talons around him, spearing him in the belly. I saw the blood running off her in streams and knew that he was hurt.

"Tell her to drop him," I said, crouching low on my venomoth as we closed with Marcus. "and be ready to catch us."

Artemis glanced down at us and I knew she had heard Shimmer's mental command. She released her trainer and I leapt off of my venomoth. I'd done this maneuver dozens of times, but never before had it been so fraught with peril.

We collided hard in mid-air, drawing a pained groan from Marcus. I wrapped my arms around him as we plunged towards the ground. I felt the gentle tug of psychic telekinesis on us, but we still fell too quickly.

The net of webbing that Cherish had spun between the Silph Tower and our building enveloped us. It bent and bowed, warping under the impact of our bodies, but it held fast.

"Marcus," I whispered in horror as we settled to a halt on the webbing. My hands pressed into the gouges in his belly, trying to hold the blood in. "Oh my god, Marcus."

"Nnngg" he groaned in reply.

My heart raced, pounding loudly in my ears. He was bleeding so much, so fast. I'd caught him, but there was nothing I could do to mend the wound Artemis had given him. My potion supply was empty and none of my pokemon were healers.

Cherish was there, sparking me into action. I had to do something. "Get him over there," I ordered, pointing at the rooftop Elias and the others were waiting on. "bandage him first."

She scuttled over me, spinning a silk bandage around Marcus' midsection. I hefted him up and over her back, and my ariados crawled away.

I lifted off the webbing a moment later, Shimmer flew overhead, pulling me back to the rooftop in tow.

She let go of her telekinetic hold and I crashed awkwardly onto the roof. I scrambled back up and over to Marcus' side.

I couldn't believe my eyes. It nearly froze me to look at him, but something pulled me in and held my gaze. My hand brushed the side of his face, smearing it with his blood. I tried in vain to wipe it away.

The makeshift silk bandage was already soaked through. His eyes flitted open, but they didn't focus on anything before closing them a moment later. He groaned something, but the words were obscured by the gurgle of blood escaping them.

My hand found it's way around his. "I'm here, Ranger. It's ok, I'm here." His hand closed on mine and I felt my heart flutter weakly.

He opened his eyes a crack this time and I thought that maybe he could see me. But his head went slack and slumped back and I knew that it wasn't real. His breath rattled horribly and I knew he was going to die.

"He's lost a lot of blood. He's going into shock," Elias said behind me. His hand went to his side and a small flash lit us for a moment. "Move, I can help him."

I glanced over at the trainer through teary eyes. I saw the indistinct shape of a ghost, the cloak and cap shifting and warping as I watched.

"Move," Elias repeated. "it has to be now."

I hesitated for a heartbeat and another flash behind me broke the spell. His scizor grabbed me by the shoulders and hauled me off of Marcus' prone form.

"Misery, use pain split. Try to focus on his internal injuries, if you can."

The spectre lowered itself over Marcus, settling over his midsection. I could still see the blood soaked bandage through the ghost, could still see the blood spreading out beneath him.

Misery the mismagius began to glow softly. I heard bones cracking back into place, had the squelching of flesh knitting back together seared into my mind forever. Then it ended as quickly as it began, and the mismagius floated gently back towards her master.

The scizor let go of me, and I fell to my knees. I didn't look away from Marcus, just stared in horror at his blood soaked midsection.

"He's alive," Elias said coldly. "though I can't do any more for him."

I crawled over to Marcus and took his hand again. His breath was steady, and I no longer heard a dying rattle in his chest.

"Thank you," I said quietly. I couldn't muster the strength to speak louder. I looked up at Elias. "Thank you," I repeated.

"Janie?" Marcus croaked. My heart jumped into my throat. He was alive. He was conscious. "You… you're here…"

I almost didn't mind the use of the pet name. Almost. My arms found their way around him and I held my Ranger close. "You big, brave, reckless idiot," I sobbed. "you're alive."

He nodded in the embrace and squeezed me back with all the meagre strength he had. "How?"

I pulled back and gestured over at Elias. "Him," I said.

Marcus looked over and seemed to raised an eyebrow in surprise for half a moment. "Elias?" he asked. "You made it out."

Elias nodded. "Thanks to your porygon," he replied. "Damn computer locked down half the building, started turning environmental systems on the Rockets."

Marcus slumped back against the roof. "Good porygon," he said with an exhausted sigh.

He turned his head to look at me. "We have to get back up there," he said. "Leaf and Gemma are alone…" he went silent and I saw the terrified look in his eye.

"What?" I asked. It wasn't like Marcus to be hesitant in action. "Marcus, what is it?"

"They have a cyborg," he replied. "something straight out of a shitty sci-fi flick."

I glanced over at Elias. He shrugged and looked up at the burning top of Silph Tower.

"Leaf and Gemma aren't a match for it," Marcus continued. He tried to brace and force himself up. "We have to—"

He fell back, groaning in pain.

"You aren't going anywhere," I said. "you're sitting this one out, Ranger."

He shook his head. "Luna… Curie…" he glanced up at the tower. "Up there."

I nodded. "I'll help them," I replied. "you need a medic."

He shook his head again. "Need to—"

I silenced him with a furious kiss. I didn't care if anyone was there, if anyone saw. He had almost just died and still the stubborn bastard wanted to fight.

We separated and I gave him a hard stare. "You need a medic," I repeated. "I'll go, I'll stop them."

Elias was at my side. "We'll stay with him, make sure he gets a medic." He hesitated and I got the sense he was not used to being in this kind of situation. Still, he put on a brave face and nodded to me. "He'll be alright."

I nodded and looked down at Marcus.

"Don't die," he warned. "this thing is stronger than most pokemon."

"So am I," I replied. I flashed a confident grin and got to my feet. "Cyborg or not, I'm a badass. I've got this."

I returned Cherish to her ball and pulled out my gear. With a few commands, I set the auto-return function at fifty meters and slipped the device back into the pocket on my back.

Shimmer lifted me up onto her back again and I looked down at the three of them. "Get him to a healer," I said, hoping they took it as an order.

I looked upwards and squeezed my heels. Shimmer rocketed us into the air and towards the burning Jewel of Kanto.

The wind rushed through my hair, pulling my hood off. Shimmer flew us faster than she had ever gone before. I felt the g-forces press against me and held tightly to my venomoth. We suddenly decelerated and I felt Shimmer grab me with her telekinesis. I trusted in my pokemon and let go.

She catapulted me upwards through one of the shattered windows. I landed and rolled with the movement, sensing something moving on me.

A metal arm slammed through the floor, punching through the concrete with ease.

The cyborg.

I pulled my blade free, attempting a decapitating strike with my opening move. My katana clanged hard against the steel that ran up the left half of the man's neck and covered part of his face.

He grabbed the hilt of the blade and held it still. "Lady Anzu," he said in a cold metallic tone. "I've been waiting to test myself against you."

I reared back and slammed my forehead into his remaining human eye. He let go of the blade on instinct and I pushed off as hard as I could. We separated and I rolled backwards with the momentum.

He recovered from the assault and leered at me menacingly. "You will regret that," he said.

I flashed a grin and slowly pulled my hood up theatrically. I'd replaced the flashbang seal on Brutus' ball. All I needed was to keep his attention on me. "I honestly doubt that," I said. I looked him up and down derisively. "You look ridiculous, I can hardly focus on killing you."

The human half of his face snarled like an animal. "I am Rocket's perfect soldier. You will—"

I buried my face in my elbow and tapped the release on Brutus' ball with the same motion. Light and sound exploded as my drapion launched into action.

Brutus hit him in the chest, lifting him with both pincers. Support struts belatedly snapped out of the cyborg's legs, grabbing onto empty air. My drapion slammed him back down onto the floor, pinning the cyborg beneath him.

There was one quick movement and Brutus was sent flying. He hit the ceiling and bounced back to the floor. The cyborg stared back at me and then turned to Brutus, unconcerned about me.

Cherish was out a moment later. Brutus may have been my strongest pokemon, but my starter had a way of willing us to victory. She was oddly prescient for a bug and seemed to know my commands before I gave them.

"Cocoon slam!"

She snared the cyborg with a loop of silk and yanked viciously. The metal man jerked backwards and slammed into the floor. Cherish leapt forwards and began spraying her silk in an attempt to seal the cyborg to the floor.

A metal arm shot from the silk bonds and buried itself in Cherish's thorax. I swore loudly, tapping the return function on my starter's ball. She'd suffered worse injuries, but I needed to keep her in her ball until I could treat her.

My hand whipped to the next ball and I knew this was the deciding point. If I stopped this thing here I would win. If not, he'd burn through the rest of my team with ease. None of them had the physical durability to handle him.

I almost gagged on the stench. Only the years I'd spent training with my father had prepared me for this, and even then, Sludge had never smelled as bad as my father's muk had.

My amorphous blob of poison lurched into motion. The cyborg tore the silk off its torso just in time for Sludge to flood over it. I heard a brief metallic scream and then only muffled bubbling.

The silk wouldn't last long underneath Sludge. Neither would the cyborg. I hoped that the Silk would last longer.

He exploded from within Sludge, crashing headlong into the ceiling. I was on him as he fell, trying to impale him through his fleshy torso. The cyborg twisted and rolled away, my blade finding only hard concrete.

He spun his momentum into a flying kick that connected with the flat of my blade. It shattered under the impact and I lost my grip on the handle. The remnants of the blade skittered away from me.

I pressed the attack while he was still recovering from the kick, but he was just too damned fast. Every strike found a block. Every blow was intercepted or redirected away. He gave ground, but I could tell it was nothing more than a game to him. He was toying with me.

He lashed out while I was mid-strike, driving a metal fist into my chest. My attack was stopped dead as all the air was forced from my lungs. He followed up with a secondary blow to the midsection. I felt ribs crack and I soared backwards, tripping over my own feet and tumbling uncontrollably.

Brutus intercepted his next strike before he could finish me off. Both pincers wrapped around the cyborg's midsection and pinned his arms to his sides. I heard an almighty groan and watched as my drapion strained against the metal man's pushback.

My hand went to my belt, flipping open the hard container on my waist. The constant motion of battle had cracked and broken most of my black eggs, but I had one left. I pulled it from the container and whipped it into the cyborg's face.

The human part of him had seemingly burned most of his skin off when Sludge had laid on top of him. My black eggs were packed with a mixture of spices, glass, sand, and ash mixed with some of Shimmer's more potent poison and paralytic dust. The powder mixture was painful just to smell. To have it splattered across raw, burned flesh? It would be agony.

He screamed in utter pain, flailing wildly and breaking out of Brutus' grasp. The human half of his face was contorted in a scream, but the robotic eye was transfixed on me. He spun and kicked, catapulting Brutus through one of the shattered windows. I couldn't afford the time to worry, he'd be returned to his ball before he reached the ground.

Shimmer chose that moment to burst through the window. She carved a screaming furrow through the office, an iridescent beam of light smiting the cyborg from the side.

I'd seen that same signal beam carve clean through Gideon in Sevii. The metal man managed to turn and throw up his robotic arm just in time. His arm split the beam into a dozen spears of vibrant light, all of them carving paths through the destroyed office.

Shimmer disappeared into her ball as Sludge hit the cyborg again while he was distracted. My muk enveloped him once more and I prayed that we were doing some real damage.

The ceiling imploded, torrential streams of water washing through the sudden hole in the ceiling. I caught a glimpse of Sludge washing out one of the windows and held fast to one of the support columns. He'd be fine, I was the one in danger now.

The water rushed over, grabbing at me and trying to tear me out into open air. I held on for dear life, knowing that to let go meant death. Something heavy struck me in the waist and I felt the column slip from my grasp.

I scrabbled and tore and grabbed for anything I could. My hands found purchase on something and I prayed that it was solid enough to hold up to the sudden deluge.

A furious roar was met by a defiant bellow and I finally saw the source of the water. It was enormous, plated with metal that no doubt hid machinery like the cyborg. Both eyes glowed ominously red, and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to fight it.

I didn't have to. The creature bent over the cyborg, who had latched himself to the floor with the clamps on his legs. He'd collapsed and was twitching wildly, unable to keep his human eye open. Sludge had finally taken his toll.

The monstrous feraligatr gently lifted the cyborg, taking the time to growl at me menacingly. It turned, slowly plodding over to the shattered windows. I saw the cyborg's robotic eye find me again, and then they were gone.

A machamp landed in front of me, eyes darting around wildly. Its gaze settled on me and I saw the uncertainty plain on the pokemon's face.

"Holy shit," a woman's voice said. The machamp visibly relaxed as it looked up at the hole in the ceiling it had come through. "you actually beat him."

I looked up, through the hole into the floor above. She wore civilian clothes and had the telltale pack and belt of a trainer.

"Holy shit," she repeated. "Janine Anzu."

I smirked. It had to be Gemma, Marcus' friend inside Silph. "In the flesh," I replied. "You must be Gemma."

Her face morphed into a mask of worry. "Marcus, he got—"

"I caught him," I answered quickly. "He's hurt, but he's alive."

"Thank Mew," she breathed. "We were worried."

Another girl, younger than Gemma by at least ten years, stepped up to the hole. "The door at the top of that stairwell is sealed tight. Short of smashing down the wall, we aren't getting through."

I clambered up the pile of rubble that led up to the next level. Gemma hauled me up, taking my hand and lifting me to my feet.

Luna hit me from the side, smothering me with her warm tails. I felt her presence touch my mind with overwhelming gratitude as Curie wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Domitian might be able to get through," Gemma said as her machamp leapt up through the other hole in the floor. "but we'll still-"

A flash of light blinded us momentarily. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my eyes as quickly as I could, Luna and Curie wailing nervously. I staggered over towards the windows, in the direction of the source of the light.

A beam of violet energy erupted from the ground, several blocks away from the Tower. It hungrily reached towards the sky and then split suddenly in the air. It slowly came back down in curtains, creating a massive dome over the city.

"Sabrina," I whispered. The Saffron Gym Leader had finally made a move. We'd thought that she'd been taken out in the initial assault, but nobody had been able to get close enough to the gym to confirm anything. "What the hell are you doing?"

Leaf and Gemma approached the window behind me. Both of them were rubbing at their eyes, but were no doubt seeing the same thing.

Leaf seemed to be shuddering, as though she was freezing cold. She glanced around nervously as her breath quickened.

"What's happening?" Gemma asked, looking out at the glowing dome.

"It's so angry…" Leaf whispered. "I can feel its pain… its hate…"

We both turned to look at her. Her eyes were closed and her arms were huddled around her.

"It wants to…" she trailed off. Her eyes whipped open. "Oh my god, hold onto something."

I turned fearfully, scanning Saffron's hazy skyline. "I don't see-"

A blinding flash suddenly grew on the western horizon, cutting through the gloom and smoke with its brilliance. I sucked in a breath sharply. The light hit the shield and the world shook itself to pieces around us.

---

INDIGO ALERT — LEGEND-CLASS THREAT IMMINENT. ALL INDIGO TRAINERS ARE ENLISTED IN CIVIL DEFENCE. ALL TRAINERS ARE TO REPORT TO THE NEAREST POKEMON CENTRE FOR IMMEDIATE TELEPORT.

---

The building shook but it did not break. Silph was built of sturdier stuff than that. The psychic had done her job and Mewtwo's opening attack had been blunted. But now time was running out and he needed what he had come for.

The tall man leaned in towards the executive, a determined scowl on his face. "As you can see, Mr. Turner, our time is up. I need you to give me what I came here for." He leaned back and gestured out at the destruction. "Or else, everything dies."

The executive looked up at the Gym Leader." I can't give you the ball," he repeated. "You're a terrorist… you're evil…" he glanced around the room, his eyes finding the Champion lazily gazing out the window. "I can't—"

Giovanni slammed his hands down on the table, interrupting him. "I play the role that I must," he stated coldly. "I do what has to be done. I am the villain so that Kanto can survive, so that our heroes can rise to the coming cataclysm." He shook his head and leaned back. "Look at what is happening! Hoenn is in ruins! Indigo is on the precipice of collapse! Do you really think that we can stand against the gods without taking one for our own? Without harnessing that power for ourselves?"

He looked out at the broken skyline of Saffron. Buildings were falling and smoke clogged the air. Even through all the gloom, he could see that the forest surrounding Saffron's walls had been scoured from the earth. The walls themselves were little more than smoking piles of rubble.

"What is this?" the businessman asked fearfully.

Giovanni approached the window, looking out at the destruction. "This is my purpose," he began. "I play this part so that our species might survive. I play the villain because that is what must happen to save as many people as possible."

The Silph executive swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "My family lives in the city… my daughter…"

"Then give me the ball," Giovanni said, never turning to face him. "and we will save as many as we can." He gestured over at Lance. "Why do you think the Champion is here?"

The executive leaned forward and flipped open a keypad on the conference table. He keyed in the passcode and a safe rose from the centre of the table. It whirred and clicked open.

Giovanni turned and strode back towards the table. He took the purple ball from the safe and inspected it carefully. "You may have just saved your family, Mr. Turner."

The Gym Leader looked over at the Champion. "Now, we must draw it in and weaken it."

"Are your heroes up to this?" asked the Champion. He looked out the window, staring across the broken city at the entity that Giovanni had created.

The Rocket leader joined him, scowling out at Mewtwo. The creature was his failure, a monument to his sins. "They must be," he replied. "or else all is lost."

Mewtwo stirred and disappeared into the billowing smoke.

Giovanni lifted a short range communicator and clicked it on. "General?" he asked.

"Yes, Giovanni?" came the reply.

"Activate the device."

There was a brief pause, then a flurry of commotion and light at the base of the tower. Screams of chaos rose, joined by an earth-shaking roar.

---

Elite Trainer KT#0621940

Fuchsia City Gym Leader

Janine Anzu, current team:

Cherish — Ariados

Brutus — Drapion

Shimmer — Venomoth

Sludge — Muk

Midnight — Crobat

Fog — Wheezing

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, dropping in for Review Roulette since your story was an option, and honestly, I needed an excuse to dive back into Death of Duty. Your next chapter seems doable enough for an evening special, so let’s check in and see how Marcus has been doing since his quite literally crappy experience last chapter:

Chapter 3

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Every trainer dreams of catching their first pokemon. It's a memory every trainer treasures forever. — Professor Robert Elm​

I actually don’t remember if this is an actual quote that Elm has in the Johto games or not, but it sounds believable, so good enough really.

It turned out that by ornery, Gemma meant that Lilith got real fighty at night. More times than I could count, the fearow would throw us into a steep dive as she chased off some perceived threat. Gemma hooted and hollered in joy while I held on to her for dear life, unconcerned with modesty in the face of terror.

Oh hey, let’s go and take a live look at Marcus right now:

When we finally touched down in front of Cerulean's pokemon centre, I could have practically kissed the solid ground. I slipped off her fearow and sat myself against the centre’s wall of the pokemon centre.

"Don't got your flight stomach yet?" Gemma asked, slipping off Lilith's back with practiced ease. She had that same mischievous grin, like she had truly enjoyed torturing me about the paras the whole way here. "It'll come with time. Every trainer adjusts eventually if you last long enough."

I mean, at least Marcus didn’t get airsick on the way over… that we know of? ^^;

I clambered to my feet, glaring at the trainer and her psychotic fearow. She returned the bird to its ball and turned back towards me as I gathered some semblance of my lost dignity.

"I don't know how to thank you enough. I would have died there, starved to death and been chewed on by another paras."

Marcus, this is probably a sign that you should pause your trainer journey and pick up a part-time job to get some money to finance a less lol-worthy survival loadout.

She shrugged. "Any trainer would have helped. Just make sure you do the same. It's dangerous out there and the league isn't always around to help." She reached into her pocket and pulled out an angular device and flipped it open.

I stared down at the device. A pokegear, something far beyond my means.

Again, get a job, Marcus. Especially since you don’t have a way of reliably hunting for food anymore.

She looked up at me. "What's your number, novice?"

I looked at her sheepishly. "I don't have one. I… I can't afford anything like that." A pokegear cost almost as much as my family farm usually made in a month. I had struggled to buy pokeballs and potions, a pokegear was definitely a pipe dream at this point.

I can’t tell whether or not that’s a sign that mobile technology in this setting is crazy expensive or else Marcus’ family is just crazy poor / not turning a decent profit, since the operating expenses of a small farm are usually on the order of $1,000 an acre every crop cycle in the US. Like how are these trainers not getting murdered for their gear on a regular basis if it’s this expensive?

She raised an eyebrow. "Figures, you did say you were just a berry farmer." She tapped into her poke gear for a few minutes and then looked up at me with a mischievous smirk. "I need a new one anyways, so give me a minute and you can have mine."

I put up my hand in protest. "I can't take-"

"I've got a league sponsor," she interrupted as her brows furrowed. "Don't worry. I won't have to pay for a thing."

Oh, so cribbing the implied system for how things work in Galar. I suppose that would make the League in this version of Kanto on the more sport-y end of things.

"I can't take this," I repeated sternly. Pa had instilled a distrust of handouts in me over the years, something I was hesitant to shake even if Gemma was being nice. "It wasn't earned."

Luna: “*For crying out loud, Marcus. You broke your hunting bow, are literally covered in crap right now, and almost died today. I say you’ve earned yourself a free talk-y thingy from the nice Fearow lady.*”

Marcus: “... Aren’t you supposed to be in your Pokéball right now?”

She stopped and looked at me with an honest smile for what felt like the first time. "That's sweet," she said. "Consider it a gift. I got a soft spot for novices like yourself and to be honest, you could use the help." She winked as the evil grin returned. "You did get your face chewed up by a paras after all."

Also, yeah. Considering how cash-poor you implied you were, Marcus, even if you don’t keep the Pokégear, you can sell it on Not!Craigslist or something to finance replacements for your… everything that was either broken or coated in filth last chapter.

I looked down at the device as she handed it to me. The screen blinked, booting up to a blank screen with a revolving Silph logo in the centre.

"This is the most expensive thing I've ever owned," I said nervously. "I've never really used anything high-tech, so…"

Gemma just smiled. "I'll help you out with it in the morning. For now though, you should probably get some rest."

Or. You could sell it on Not!Craigslist, buy the wish.com version online, and use the rest of the leftover money to buy proper survival gear. o3o;;

I nodded, exhaustion seeping back into my bones. The flight here had flooded me with adrenaline, but it was starting to wear off. I knew I had twenty minutes at most before I crashed hard.

"Good idea," I half mumbled.

I turned and went to push the door open and walk through. My face collided solidly with the glass door, giving everyone inside a nice close up of my messed up face.

Well, looks like it didn’t take 20 minutes to crash hard after all, even if it’s not quite the way that Marcus was expecting.

It turned out that the centre only had one room left. I was fully prepared to give Gemma the room, but she insisted I take it. I tried to insist that she take it, but she already had somewhere to crash.

And so it was that after dropping Curie and Luna off at the desk for a checkup and being cleaned up and having the remaining half of my face stitched back together by the overnight nurse, I crashed into the bed and let sleep take me.

Wait, but I thought that his wound was specifically on his ear. Though just how good is medical treatment in this setting anyways? Or is Marcus just going to go around looking like Two-Face for the rest of the story? .-.

I woke to a furious pounding on the door. Gemma was here.

"It's half-past ten, Novice!" She shouted. "We've got work to do!"

Marcus: “Oh lordy, are we seriously doing this right now while my face is stitched up? Whatever happened to sleeping this stuff off?”

I dragged myself up and shuffled over to the door, tripping over my broken bow in its sock. I put it up against the wall and sighed at the loss. It had been a gift from my Pa. The last gift he'd given me. I didn't know whether to be sad or feel relieved that I didn't have to be reminded of him every time I used it.

… Just how broke was Marcus before going off on his journey if he had to bring along family heirlooms to a journey where it could get trashed by some random wild barfing fire on it? .-.

I pulled it open, pushing away the morbid thoughts and looking at her through half-shut eyes. "You couldn't let me sleep?" I asked grumpily.

She barged in past me, not caring the slightest about my grumpy expression. She put the breakfast tray on the side table and sat back on the bed as she devoured a greasy looking sandwich.

"So," she mumbled between bites. "I watched your gym battle last night and did some research."

Marcus: “In case if you haven’t noticed, but I’m not exactly in prime condition to be picking further battles right away.” X_X

I closed the door and sighed. She certainly did not care about appearances or decorum at all.

"So?" I asked as I sat in the small chair beside the bed. I reached over, taking the second sandwich and coffee Gemma had brought. "You watched me outlast Brock by tricking his onix. Big whoop."

"While I commend your creativity, it won't work again. Not against Misty. She's a cold hearted bitch at the best of times and won't allow something like that to work. She'll order her starmie to kill that baby just to prove a point."

She downed the last bite of her sandwich and smirked at me with a twinkle in her eye.

… I mean, considering what we saw of Brock earlier on in this story, I’m not inclined to believe that Gemma’s joking with that comment there.

She pointed at me. "You made waves with that little stunt in Pewter. Indigo is buzzing with the embarrassment that an unknown novice handed to Brock." She lifted her coffee and downed a large gulp. "Rumour has it, that novice arrived in Cerulean late last night and is already preparing for his next challenge."

Gemma: “So… yeah, feel ready to conquer the world, tiger?” ^^
Marcus:

I sipped gently on the coffee. It was strong, barely a hint of sugar to temper the dark unovan blend. Perfection, as far as I was concerned. Definitely a sight better than the instant coffee I'd been drinking.

… Wait, Unova has climates that can support growing coffee in this setting? Especially after the localized ice age that happened in the backstory of The Champions? .-.

"Your doing?" I asked. She seemed to know how to play the game that was the League.

She smirked at me and I knew the answer. "Word is, your next match has sponsor eyes all over it. Play your cards right and you'll have a League sponsor by the end of the week, novice."

Marcus: “Okay, seriously, what is the catch behind all of this? Am I seriously supposed to believe that you’re just doing this all for me for no reason at all?”

Gemma: “I mean, I did say that I felt sorry for you.”

I nodded appreciatively. A sponsor was a big deal in the League. They'd bankroll my challenge, something that was already proving to wringing out every drop of cash possible out of me.

Truth be told, I had no clue how anyone could challenge the League without one. The Indigo Conference had an entrance fee of almost three times what my family's farm had made per year. Training, I had learned that hard way, was not a poor man's sport. I'd been agonizing over the roadblocks in front of me, but a sponsor would solve many of them.

Yeeeeeeeah, I’m beginning to understand why Team Plasma organized a societal purge of trainers in The Champions. Since League challenges and presumably training being gatekept this hard to people of means sounds like it’d breed some serious social tensions with the broader public.

In return for bankrolling our challenges, the trainers were expected to act as a spokesperson for the company. We could be expected to appear in ads, battle in exhibition tournaments and lobby high ranking League members on the company's behalf.

inb4 Marcus’ sponsor turns out to be a Rocket front or something like that.

But, first things first. I wasn't ready to face a gym leader in a proper battle yet, especially one with a mean streak like Misty. I didn't have a type advantage and my second pokemon wasn't able to battle yet.

"So," I started as I looked back up at her. "Where do we start?"

Time to see how much of a disaster this all turns out to be.

We headed north, ignoring the impromptu tournament forming at the end of the Nugget Bridge. As much as I wanted to stop and try my hand against other trainers, Gemma had other plans for the day. She insisted that we get off-route as soon as possible, so we ducked off the League maintained route as it bent towards the small communities on the easternmost point of Cerulean Cape and kept heading straight north.

Well, at least we’ve figured out that Gemma’s sponsor is possibly not a Rocket front? Since I remember how that Nugget Bridge sequence went in Gen 1.

The entire way out, she kept up her pokegear tutorial. It had a phone, with several numbers already saved in. Gemma had put in her number, plus the number of her League representative and several regional emergency numbers. She showed me how to add new numbers as well, something that I was ashamed to admit I had no clue how to do. I didn't even know how to make a call until she showed me how. Technology was limited to practical things on the farm. There had never been any use for frivolous expenses for training.

Isn’t being able to dial EMS in the event of an accident in the field the definition of ‘practical things’ on a farm in a setting with dangerous wildlife that can casually maul you? ^^;

Though I have to wonder if the production of technology in this setting is cartelized or something like that, since it’s a bit hard to wrap my mind around how the equivalent of a cell phone could be this expensive in a setting that seemingly has the general trappings of modern life.

The map is what excited me the most. I was an information junkie with an entire world at my disposal. It was interactive and overflowing with information. I could zoom into specific locations and see what pokemon were commonly found in the area. I could overlay a map from the Ranger alert network, identifying specific reports and threats monitored by the Rangers. I zoomed in to Route 25 and the areas northwest of it and raised my eyebrow at the yellow alert highlighting the area.

Or, hear me out: you could buy a normal cellphone and look at the trainer equivalent of Flightradar24 to get most of this information at a fraction of the cost.

Unless, of course, the theory about cartelized production is onto something, but that hasn’t really been established or even alluded to just yet.

Caution – Dangerous Wild Pokémon – Ranger Command Cerulean has received multiple credible reports of a nido pack east of Mount Moon. Possible presence of King/Queen, novice trainers take extreme caution– Ranger teams investigating

>Ranger teams investigating

… Are they going off to investigate in helicopter gunships or something? Since considering what base morph Pokémon are like in the wilds in this story, going up against fullevos as a game-style ranger with a lasso and 3-4 Pokémon sounds absolutely cursed.

My eyes kept scanning the report as it continued on about nido packs. It wasn't anything that I didn't know already. So long as we had strength in numbers we would be safe. Nido packs rarely attacked groups, preferring to pick off lone targets in overwhelming surprise attacks. Despite their penchant for surprise attacks, nido packs were decidedly not stealthy. They were easily spotted from the air and made few efforts to conceal themselves when not actively hunting. Not much need to hide when you're usually the strongest around.

Yeeeeeah, I’m not going to hold my breath on a Holy Hand Grenade being able to deal with all those killer rabbits. Sounds like they’re cognizant of it, too.

I showed Gemma the alert and told her about our own small run in with the pack on the western slopes of Mount Moon. She just shrugged it off, telling me she could handle a nido pack without much trouble. I wasn't sure how many badges she had, but I guessed six or seven based on what I'd seen. She kept five balls on her belt, and I doubted that any of them were significantly weaker than the two I'd seen so far.

inb4 this ages terribly before the end of the chapter. Since from what we’ve seen from the past two chapters and from what I’ve read of Journey’s side stories, getting cocky in this rendition of Pokéworld sounds like a fast trip to getting a closed-casket funeral.

We continued on, forging further north until I could hear the distant crash of waves on Cerulean Cape's rocky northern shore. All the while, Gemma kept up the pace, forcing Luna and I to strain ourselves to keep up with our guide. She didn't slow her pace at all, instead giving me the option to fall behind and fail her little test.

Marcus: “Gemma, my face is being held together with stitches.” >.<
Gemma: “Yes? And? Your legs still work just fine, don’t they?”

I crept through the underbrush, carefully watching where I stepped. Gemma was somewhere up ahead. She'd disappeared several minutes before, claiming that she'd be back after she investigated something. She told me to keep heading north until I hit the coast. I wasn't too happy about being left alone in the wilderness, but to argue would have meant failing her test.

Wait, did Gemma ever explicitly state that she was testing Marcus’ strength before this point? Since I swear that I don’t remember her doing that.

Something was off though. We'd been bushwhacking for nearly half a day. The rough terrain off of Route 25 was difficult and slow going, especially off-route where the league had no real presence. You might run into the odd Indigo Ranger on a wilderness patrol, but they were few and far between. Far too often, the sight of a Ranger was a sign of trouble. It meant that there was something dangerous nearby.

Ah yes, just the sort of place Marcus needs to be a day after getting mauled out in the field. ^^;

Our entire journey out here had been full of noise. Nature had a way of just never shutting up. Rustling grass, wind in the trees, the distant crash of waves on Cerulean Cape's rocky shore, the far off cry of pokemon, all joined together in nature's cacophony. It was silent now, like something had just flicked off some giant switch.

Yeah, pretty sure that this is your sign to turn around and nope out, Marcus.

Luna's ears perked up as we stumbled out of the waist high grass and into a small clearing with several small trees, ringed by a wall of waist high grass. Her ears swivelled and strained for any sign or sound. Her tails swelled and flared she growled menacingly. That was not a good sign. I put my hand on Luna's back, attempting to calm her while I figured out what to do.

Nature was content with not giving us that chance. All the warning I got was a rustling of dry leaves as the underbrush began to crawl with movement. I widened my eyes and clenched my fists. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that this was Gemma's test.

Marcus: “How on earth did I let myself get talked into this?”

I looked down at Luna and let my nerves fade. She wasn't scared. She was pissed off from a frustrating morning trekking through rough wilderness, ready to fight. As long as I had her at my side, I didn't have to be scared either.

The first rattata burst from the bushes, fangs bared for my neck as a half dozen more burst from the bushes. Luna swatted it out of the air with a blast of flame that sent it squeaking away in fear. Then they came. Dozens of them, flinging themselves at us with reckless abandon as yet more surged past us and into the grass. Every one that Luna scorched and sent running was replaced by two more. We were hopelessly, impossibly outnumbered.

Oh hey, it’s like the opening to The Sun Soul, except there’s a lot more killer rats, and there’s not a Machamp to conveniently swoop in and squish them to a pulp.

I ducked, one of the rattata sailing over my head as another clamped down on my arm. My jacket held though, and the little pokemon tore furiously at the thick leather sleeve. I smashed it against a tree and it let go with a yelp.

Yeah, that Machamp would’ve been really handy right about now, just saying.

I pointed at the wall of grass before us. "Luna, stem the tide. Incinerate the grass!"

… Marcus, you do realize that this could just as easily scare them out of the grass and towards you, right?

She responded admirably, shrugging off a pair of rattata that attempted to bite at her flanks. She sucked in a breath and spat a stream of flame that ignited the wall of dry grass.

I didn't have time to enjoy the victory. The grass shook as dozens more rattata burst from the flaming foliage. They rushed past us, running headlong into the grass behind me and ignoring my Vulpix's inferno. Luna ducked back, retreating towards me as the swarm surged past her in terror.

Yeah, I thought so. Though boy did Marcus luck out that none of the terrified bitey rats lashed out against him in the process.

I felt my heart skip a beat. This was no test. The rattata were running from something. I felt my heart pound in my chest as I got the strange notion that I should be running too.

So… a Furret? Or…?

A raticate leapt from the grass, heaving madly. Her breaths were ragged and uneven, blood leaking from a trio of oozing purple puncture wounds along her side. Her eyes darted around the clearing, flitting between me and Luna frantically.

Oh, well. Hello, killer rabbits. Or I suppose we’ll be saying hello in about 15 seconds.

A purple blur slammed into the raticate from the side, goring her with a three-inch long horn. The raticate shrieked, scrabbling madly at the nidorino's tough hide ineffectually. A second nidorino burst from the flaming grass, taking the raticate from the other side.

Make that about five seconds.

Marcus: “Boy, I really hate it when that voice inside of me is right.”

I heard the low rumble of a feral growl and felt the ground shake slightly. It rose from the flames, all purple spikes and armoured plates. Wicked looking spines jutted out from its back. The nidoking flicked its powerful tail back and forth, locking his beady black eyes on me. I felt the earth rumble in response to his growl, like the ground seemed to respond to his displeasure.

I glanced down at Luna as the fear crept back in. We were in danger, mortal danger. Wild pokemon did not conform to battle rules. They fought until their foe was dead or ran. She looked back up at me for guidance and I heard myself whisper one word.

"Run."

… Wait, so then how does anyone safely catch any wild Pokémon in this setting? Or is the idea that the ones on the Routes are less vicious than this? .-.

We turned as one, fleeing for our lives. Luna split off from me as I heard the nidoking bellow angrily at his escaping prey. The ground bucked, nearly tossing me as I staggered away as quickly as I could. I fumbled with the pokegear as I ran, tabbing over to the phone feature and desperately mashing at Gemma's number.

I didn't know if it was ringing, I didn't know where she could have gone, but she couldn't have been that far ahead.

Cue the dial tone as Gemma is doing something like fluffing Lilith’s feathers in the background blissfully unaware or something.

Marcus: “Dammit, I thought that the rabbits needing hand grenades to deal with was supposed to be a joke!” O_O;

One of the nidorino leapt at me from behind, sailing over me as I ducked and scrambled away to the side. The second one bore down on me as I came back up, but Luna was there. She slammed into the nidorino's flank, throwing off its charge. It tripped as it tried to compensate for the change in direction and plowed into the dirt. A third gave chase as I turned to run, the cries of the rest of the pack echoing around me.

Live look at the Nido warren pack on Marcus and Luna’s heels right now:

"Break the chase!" I shouted as I sprinted headlong into the grass. I couldn't tell which direction I was going, but away from the vicious pokemon was good enough for me. "Set the grass on fire and stay on my ass!"

Marcus, given how well you saw this work out against the Rattata with them just charging ahead anyways, why would you want to try this against the Pokémon that can properly kill you? .-.

I didn't wait for her, knowing she was only half a step behind me. The dry field of grass went up like it had been doused with gas. I could feel the heat licking at my back. Luna ran at my heels, spitting tiny embers of flame into the grass. I could see the nidos out the corners of my eyes, dark purple and pale blue blurs racing to stay ahead of the growing inferno.

Yeah, I knew it. At this rate, you’re better off just diving into the sea and hoping there’s not anything more serious than a Magikarp school in it.

I heard a voice screaming out of my pokegear and I raised it up to my mouth. "Nido pack!" I shouted. "Follow the smoke!"

I vaguely heard her shriek an answer but lost it in the roar of the flames and angry grunts of the nidos on my tail. The earth cracked open and shook below my feet. I tripped, my foot catching on a lump of earth that hadn't been there a moment before.

Ah yes, time for Marcus to go even further into medical debt.

I slammed into the dirt, landing hard on my face. I heard a loud crunch and felt a splitting pain in my nose. I reached up for my face, my hands covered in blood.

Though I suppose that might be a tad premature since at this rate, Marcus is going to have multiple major organs run through by killer rabbits in less than a minute.

Luna shot past me, the pair of nidorino hot on her tail. I knew a third wasn't far behind, but couldn't tell where it could be. They barely spared me a glance, attention locked on the little vulpix giving them absolute hell.

I take it that wildmons aren’t normally used to hunting human prey, or else the rangers are nice and busy culling the ones that do, since you’d think that if Pokémon in this setting have any level of appreciable sapience, that they’d learn to target the big ape things that can’t effectively fight back on their own without bangsticks. Potentially even with bangsticks given some of the destruction that gets meted out in Journey’s side stories.

I groaned in pain as I tried to rise, forcing myself to move through the pain. I got one foot under me and steadied myself for a moment. The air was thick with smoke, fire roaring through the thick grassland. Plumes of smoke were rising into the air above us. There was no way that Gemma could miss this from atop Lilith.

I mean, someone else could be going through similar circumstances and

Then I saw him. The nidoking saw me. He stepped through the flames like they were nothing, stalking towards me like he knew he had already won. The flames cast terrible spiked shadows across me, giving the nidoking a demonic appearance. I struggled to my feet, my head spinning and protesting the action as I tried to move.

He loomed over me, growling menacingly as he drew to his full height. The flames behind him cast him in glowing red light. The nidoking towered over me, stretching at least two or three feet above me and standing an imposing armoured figure. He raised one armoured paw and I saw his three claws extend slightly.

Nidoking:

“*Thought you could run, did ya?*”
Marcus: “I just had to take Gemma up on her challenge to go get lost in the woods the day after getting mauled, didn’t I?”

His expression went slack and a simple look overtook his eyes. The nidoking cocked his head at me and looked at me in apparent confusion. Luna appeared from behind the beast, spitting a barrage of embers at the gaps in the nidoking's armour as she scampered up his back and over his shoulder. He narrowed his eyes as Luna leapt off him, planted her feet and growled furiously.

Oh yeah, this will totally end well™. I can already tell.

She was brave, but it was hopeless. She just wasn't strong enough to actually harm the nidoking. The pack leader shook the confusion out of his eyes and sneered contemptuously down at the little creature that dared oppose him.

I heard a piercing shriek and looked up as a winged shadow passed over me. A grey blur was plummeting towards me, moving too fast for my eyes to follow.

Whelp, time to see how well Nidoking hide holds up against stab wounds, I guess.

Domitian led with his fists as he fell. He slammed into the nidoking at a steep angle, knocking it off balance with a crushing blow from above. Gemma's machamp followed up with his second set of arms, hammering his fists into the nidoking's armoured chest.

… Or we could see a Machamp smack him around. That works, too.

Domitian: “*Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.*”

The nidoking growled and swung his tail for Domitian's chest. Domitian caught the king's tail in three of his arms and seemed to smirk knowingly at his opponent.

inb4 it results in a SM64-style toss.

With one last crushing blow to the jaw by his free arm, Domitian knocked the nidoking senseless. The hulking beast stumbled back, swaying on his hind legs. With one more dazed step, the nidoking crashed heavily into the ground.

Marcus: “Phew, that one was way too close-”

I vaguely heard Luna yelp in pain and turned in shock and fear. One of the nidorino had decided to stay and fight rather than run like the rest. It pulled its horn out of the puncture wound it had made in Luna's leg, purple ooze dripping from the horn.

Marcus: “Oh crap, Luna!”

"Confuse wisp!" I shouted, knowing we had to level the playing field.

"Keep it off balance."

Wait, if “Keep it off balance” is also Marcus, it might make sense to just attach it to the prior paragraph and maybe make the second sentence feel more “shout”-y given that this is a tense situation for Marcus right now.

Fire types like Luna ran hot, giving them a slight resistance to things like poison. It would still hurt her, but her internal flame would delay the most severe damage. Still, I didn't want to push our luck with something as deadly as poison.

Nidorino: “*I call hax. Since when do Fire-types get any advantages over poison.*”

Luna: “*Since when Nido jabs could draw blood like this. Now piss off.*”

I heard Gemma land behind me, but paid her no mind. I could hear something roaring angrily and Domitian bellowing back but spared paid it no mind. My attention was for Luna, for the battle at hand.

My vulpix spat a swirling ball of eerie flame. She willed it towards the nidorino. He charged her, choosing to press the attack rather than avoid the unnatural flame.

Luna:

Nidorino: “*Hah! You think I’m scared of that piddly little light ball?!*”

It was the wrong choice. The nido's expression went soft and I caught the simple look in his eyes as he barrelled wide of Luna. He buried his horn into one of the trees and grunted in surprised pain. I watched him thrash violently as he attempted to free himself and felt a sudden clarity come over me.

Oh, it’s Confuse Ray. At first I thought that was Will-O-Wisp there.

Nidorino: “*Damn, light ball got hands.*” @.@
Luna: “*Don’t you mean ‘paws’ considering your anatomy?*”

Nidorino: “*Whatever, it’s a figure of speech… or something like that!*” @.@

My hand went into my bag, feeling for the cold metal balls at the bottom. I had two left after losing my first with the sandshrew. My hand closed around one of the poke balls as the nidorino broke free. I planted my feet and stared down the spiteful little nidorino. I was a trainer. I was a pokemon trainer. It was time that I proved it and added to my team.

"Luna," I said calmly, all trace of fear gone from my voice. My voice was calm and collected and my mind was racing through strategies with every heartbeat. "Soften him up. It's time we made our first capture."

Since… yeah, I am not remotely convinced that attempting to train a creature that just tried to kill both you and your lead Pokémon is going to result in a remotely healthy team dynamic.

She padded over to me, standing between me and the beast that had gored her with his horn. Her limp was almost unnoticeable, but it was there. She was favouring her leg and didn't dare put weight on it. We had to finish this quickly. She growled as the nido stared her down, puffs of smoke curling out of her mouth.

Luna: “*Um… Marcus…?*”

Marcus: “Just a little more, Luna! We can do this!”

They charged each other, the nido lowering his horn and intending to run her through. Luna leapt to the side, avoiding the nidorino's charge by inches. She torched his flanks as he skidded past. I heard the nido roar in pain as Luna's embers scorched the already badly burned pokemon's flanks.

"He's coming around," I called, watching the nidorino turn back and snort angrily. "Keep him at a distance and hit him with an ember barrage."

I can’t tell if Gemma would be impressed or [WHY] right now if she were free enough to see this unfolding in live-time. Maybe a bit of both.

The nido pawed at the ground and glanced at me. He glanced back to Luna and I saw realization dawn in his eyes. He knew she was protecting me. He knew I was directing her. He lowered his horn again and charged. Straight at me.

Marcus: “... Crap.”

Luna peppered him with embers, doing nothing to slow down the angry nidorino. He shrugged off the barrage and poured on the speed. I made to leap out of the way, but there was no way I would be able to get clear in time. He was just moving too fast.

Sure hope you’ve got an accurate throwing arm, Marcus. Since, uh… yeah, you’re going to have problems in short order if you don’t.

Luna was a tan blur, slamming into the nido's side with a fierce growl. She drove him slightly off target once more, barely steering the nidorino away as I dove clear.

I used the momentum from my dive and rolled to my feet. I spun on my heels and readied the empty ball. Luna desperately separated herself from the panting and burnt nido, trying to get some distance.

Huh, this is going better than I was expected-

Her injured leg gave out, a loud whimper of pain reaching my ears. She collapsed to the ground less than a stride away from the nidorino. I threw the ball with all my might even as he kicked Luna in the side with his powerfully built hind legs.

Aaaaaand there it is. Knowing Marcus’ luck, the Nidorino’s going to wind up breaking out or something like that.

It hit him on the side, sucking the nidorino in before he could deliver a second blow and kill or cripple my precious vulpix. He disappeared in a flash of light as the ball went rolling away into the brush.

I waited for what felt like ages, watching the grass where my ball had disappeared intently. There was no way that I had captured him, he was too strong, too fierce for just one ball to capture. He was terribly burned, but had fought like a caged demon. I stared in half fear and anticipation, waiting for him to burst back out and finish us off.

Marcus: “I mean, I’d return you right now, Luna, but I kinda need to not die in case that Nido breaks out.”

Luna: “*No, no, I’m pretty sure that’s going to happen anyways if he breaks out regardless of if you recall me or not.*”

Luna limped back to my side, whimpering. She stood strong, but I could see how bad she was doing. Her ears were flat against the side of her head and her tails hung low between her legs. She was hurting. The poison had to have taken its toll and she was covered in small gashes. Nidorino tended to be covered in small spikes that secreted a powerful poison.

I dug into my bag, pulling out a pair of antidotes. I emptied the first one entirely into the deep wound on her leg. It had a sickly, rancid smell to it and worried me the most. I opened the second and sprayed it liberally onto every scratch or cut that I could find. Her shoulders and neck were covered in them and I found several long, shallow gashes on her sides. The nidos had probably grazed her with their horns more than once. I emptied the rest of the antidote into them.

… Wait, does Marcus even know if he’s safe enough right now? Or is he just doing this out of reflex while he overhears Domitian and the Nidoking going at it in the background? It might make sense to give some sort of indication one way or another here.

Gemma laid her hand on my shoulder and I just about jumped out of my skin, almost forgetting she had just saved my life. I turned, eyes frantically scanning back and forth along the grass. It had felt like an eternity and the nido still hadn't reappeared.

"Hey, you can relax now," Gemma said, her voice low. "You caught him."

Marcus: “Wait, but where’s the Nidoking?” .-.
Gemma: “I mean, I’m not screaming orders to Domitian to deal with him right now, so… don’t worry about it?”

I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. Then it hit me. The smell of charred flesh was thick in the air and the bitter taste of smoke lingered on my tongue. "What happened?" I asked numbly. I looked around finally, taking stock of our surroundings.

The field of grass was nearly gone, consumed by the fire. Domitian was kicking dirt onto the few remaining blazes and Lilith sat lazily atop the prone form of a powerfully built nidoqueen. Half a dozen smaller nidorina lay around their queen, all of them motionless.

Again:

Though I suppose Gemma wasn’t kidding about being able to handle a Nido pack.

She tried, but Gemma couldn't hide the shame and embarrassment on her face.

"I went to set up your test. Released a few water types off the shore to give you an idea of what you'd be up against with Misty." She frowned and looked away. "The nido pack must have been tracking us since we went off-route. This is all my fault. I'm better than that, I should never have left you alone."

Wait, she just has those lying around to release out into the wilds? ._.

I gingerly poked at my nose and winced. I felt something running down my face and tasted blood, suddenly remembering the trip and fall.

"Think my nose is broken, but otherwise I'm fine. Wasn't even the nidos that hit me. I just tripped over the ground." I poked gently again and couldn't help the wince. "Definitely broken," I repeated.

Luna: “*What am I, chopped liver here?*” >_>
Marcus: “... You’re getting better from your meds? Probably?” ^^;

Gemma looked at me closer and I saw the hurt in her eyes. "Here," she started, her voice low and apologetic. "Let me set it for you at least. It'll help with the bleeding somewhat."

She pulled a cloth from her bag and gently placed her hand on my now crooked nose.

"This is going to hurt," she said calmly. "a lot."

I felt an almighty crunch and the worst pain I'd ever been conscious for.

Marcus: “Yeah, I should’ve just slept in this morning.” X_X

The rangers arrived not twenty minutes later, a pair of them atop pidgeot that kept their eyes firmly on Lilith. Gemma explained what had happened and kept them off my case too hard. I still got an earful about the dangers of travelling off-route, but not half of what I would have gotten had I been alone. Hell, alone I wouldn't have been alive when the Rangers arrived.

They complimented us on our work, despite their admonishments. The nido pack had been terrorizing the wilds around Cerulean. Three trainers had been hurt in the past few days and another two were missing and presumed dead.

Ranger: “Really, I’m all the more impressed that you two managed to pull this off without using hand grenades.” ^^;
Marcus: “Okay, seriously. Can we knock it off with the Monty Python jokes until I’m put back together again?” >_>

The League had actually placed a bounty on the pack the day before, one that Gemma and I were only too happy to claim for our troubles. We split it both ways, despite my protests that I hadn't actually done anything.

Yeeeeeah. Considering how brutal Marcus dealing with a Nido in battle is, I’m honestly a little shocked that this setting doesn’t just have a fleet of drones fitted with machine guns loitering in the air to do culls or at least nuisance raids to try and scare problem swarms like these away. Since you’d think their response time would be a lot faster than solely small teams of rangers operating on foot.

We left the rangers at the site of the battle. I wasn't keen on flying again, but Luna and my new capture needed proper medical attention and my nose still ached something fierce. So despite my reluctance, Gemma and I flew back to Cerulean in near silence.

We dropped our pokemon off at the centre. I warned them that the nidorino was a new capture that I hadn't had a chance to tame yet and they assured me he would be kept sedated the entire time.

Oh, so this does just happen with every “fresh outta the wild” catch in this setting.

Is this one of those settings where the Pokéballs have mind control properties or something? Since… yeah. Not sure how Marcus is going to be able to control that Nidorino, much less befriend it.

Luna was mostly fine, despite the multitude of gashes along her. The antidotes I had used seemed to have stopped the poison and her physical injuries would heal within the week, even faster as long as she stayed at the centre to heal. I kept Curie with me though. I wanted the company.

So how frequently do Pokémon Centers run out of space in this setting anyways? Since while Marcus admittedly kinda brought this on himself sneaking off into a dangerous area, I can’t imagine Pokémon getting chewed up by on-route encounters going bad is a particularly rare occurrence.

Gemma's pokemon were fine, but she checked them in anyways. I counted five balls when she handed them to the nurse, noting that she didn't bother giving the nurse any information about them.

I’m… not sure if that’s exactly a good sign there. Though I suppose that the nurses will find out soon enough from their machine readouts.

She insisted that we go for a drink after our day, and I was in no mood to argue. So we found ourselves in the back of some seedy bar, the lights down low and the hellish day left behind us.

Gemma had ordered us both some cocktail from the bar as we passed and paid for them both without waiting for my insistence that I pay. I'd tried to pay for the next four drinks, but Gemma would have none of it. She was determined to make it up to me.

I mean, considering how you don’t have a means of providing sustenance for yourself at the moment... yeah, enjoy Gemma’s generosity while it lasts, Marcus. ^^;

I looked across the table at her. It had been quiet. Despite our half-eaten meals and array of empty drinks, we'd hardly said a word outside of some small chat around the nido battle itself.

I mean, “Er... so you’re not mad about me almost getting you killed, right?” is a bit of an awkward topic of conversation. ^^;

I coughed, to break the silence. She looked at me quizzically with a half-buzzed grin and I couldn't help the swell of nervous nausea in my chest. I'd been building up to this in my mind, unable to broach the simple question of why Gemma thought I was worth all this effort.

"So," I started, "mind telling me what you're doing?" I asked.

I stared blankly into my drink as I talked, barely looking up at her.

"You take an interest in me, and what? Train me for nothing in return? Drop all this cash on some nobody novice?"

Yeah, I’m curious about this myself. Since I’m not fully convinced that Gemma doesn’t have any ulterior motive to making it (relatively) rain for Marcus here.

She shrugged, quietly sipping her drink as she considered the question.

"Trainers help others. It's something that we all do," she replied stubbornly. "Maybe I learned that lesson a little late, but it's better than never."

Oh, so it’s survivor’s guilt from not being there to help someone else in the past and them dying from it. I guess that would explain a few things.

"But why me?" I asked again. "Who the hell am I to deserve any of this? I didn't earn any of it, didn't earn any of the kindness you've shown me, or the lessons you've imparted."

"I've barely taught you any—"

"Don't," I interrupted. "You've taught me more about this life in a day and a half than anyone has in eighteen years." I shook my head again. "Why me? What makes you think I deserve the help?"

Does… the internet not meaningfully exist in this setting or something? Since you’d think that there’d be a cottage industry for people selling advice to would-be aspiring trainers, especially in a setting like this one where the consequences of failure can potentially be life-ending.

"What makes you think you don't?" she asked pointedly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't know if I wanted to go there with anyone, much less a person I had just met. I tried to look up and make a sound but my willpower abandoned me.

Ah yes, I see that it’s not just Gemma that has buried personal problems right about now. Even if I’m now morbidly curious as to where Marcus’ lack of a sense of self-worth came from.

"Look," she said, breaking the silence. She must have sensed that this was a sore spot for me. "You need the help, right?"

My eyes never rose from the drink, but I nodded slowly.

"I don't need to know why you think you don't deserve it." She shrugged and I felt myself relax somewhat. "Do you want my reasons?"

I mean, I’m not sure if Marcus necessarily wants them given that he kinda reads as being in a bit of a mood right now, but I do after that implication that Gemma just dropped a couple paragraphs ago, so good enough. ^^;

I shrugged in return, unsure of how to answer.

She sighed and leaned forward. "You remind me a lot of someone I used to know."

I saw a warm smile come to her face. [ ]

"He never got a fair shake. He asked me for help, practically begged me for it." She looked down at her drink. "I was stubborn and didn't give the help that my friend needed."

Yeah, I knew it. Though I actually wonder if it’d make sense if it’d give some sort of sad or wistful undertone to Gemma’s expression here given that the implication is that her underequipped friend died out in the field. Or else had some other life-wrecking event happen due to her lack of support.

She looked up at me nervously and tipped back the rest of the drink. I copied her. I had a feeling that I knew where this was going. I wasn't the only one dealing with the trauma of loss.

Luna: “*Really? Since I thought it was pretty obvious from the ‘maybe I learned that lesson too late’ comment-*”

Marcus: “Luna, you’re not even out for this scene right now. Go away before you get drunk off the fumes or something.” >_>;

"He didn't make it and it was my fault. I didn't do enough." She shrugged, her words slow and slurred. "Like I said, you look like him. Same stupid grin when you think nobody is looking, same farm boy kinda style."

[ ]


"So that's it," I said quietly. "Righting a past wrong."

I looked down at my drink again and felt like an ass for pushing Gemma. I had my own trauma, but I wasn't alone in that. Maybe I could trust Gemma not to judge me too harshly if I told her what had happened.

I kinda wonder if it might make sense for Marcus to have a moment of internal thought or something before he speaks up. Since I kinda get a vibe that he’s meant to pause for a moment before speaking based off his line, but it’s not really reflected by the narration.

"I'm not him," I said. "I'm not whoever you lost. You can't let that loss rule your life."

I smiled and reached out, putting my hand on hers. [ ]

"For what it's worth, I am grateful for everything you've done for me. You've given more of a crap about my dream than my old man ever did. That alone is more than I could ever repay."

I felt my heartbeat quicken and tightened my grip on her hand.

Somebody is crushing hard right now. Though I kinda wonder if this paragraph would work better hacked up into pieces and potentially expanded a little bit.

I knew that the moment was now, that Gemma did deserve to know.

"I didn't have the help at home. I didn't have help and I had to hide what I was doing, and it got my little sister killed."

Oh. Well that would explain Marcus’ lack of feelings of self-worth there. .-.

She returned the favour, squeezing my hand. I felt my voice waver for a moment but I knew that I had to finish now.

"I snuck out our house at night to train with Luna about three months ago." My gaze fell to my drinks. "I'd been forbidden from taking up training by my Pa, but I didn't listen. She… she followed me out of the house but she must have gotten lost in the dark."

… Wait, this was that recently? Perhaps it’s an artifact of when and how this story was written, but how on earth have we not seen more effects of this trauma in Marcus’ thought processes in this story thus far? .-.

I shook my head. "I don't feel like I deserve the help because I got my own sister killed and wouldn't take the blame for it. I tried to make it my Pa's fault…"

"Marcus," she said calmly. It was the first time she had said my name instead of calling me a Novice. "Nobody can control what wild pokemon do. The world is a dangerous place and—"

"And I didn't protect a person who needed me to." I hung my head. "Dangerous or not, my sister needed me."

"You didn't do it," she said. "You didn't kill her."

I mean, yes. But good luck getting that through to Marcus. Especially since I’m pretty sure that he’s not completely sober right now.

[ ]

"But I might as well have," I replied. "Maybe if I'd told her I was going to train, taught her about pokemon rather than hiding all this from my family, she'd still be here."

Gemma shook her head. "You can't dwell on maybes." She shook her head again. "And refusing help from those who are willing to lend it?"

I shook my head. "It's not that. I knew what I signed up for when I left home and became a trainer. I knew that it would be dangerous when I lost my little sister."

I sighed sadly and tipped back my drink.

"But it's exactly what I wanted. The adventure, the excitement… it's everything I'd dreamed about on the farm. Yeah, it started in tragedy and that sucked, but it's thanks to you that I know I can handle myself out there."

I kinda wonder if you should drop in some sort of pause or descriptive paragraph here, since this is a lot of dialogue in a fairly unbroken chain for like ten paragraphs, and throwing in something to break the flow might be called for.

She looked at me with a mix of half-drunk sadness and acceptance in her eyes. "Ask the paras if he thinks you can handle yourself."

My jaw dropped as the tension dissipated. "That hurts."

Gemma: “So… that’s a ‘no’ then?” >:V

The sadness faded in moments and Gemma's constant façade reappeared with her usual savage grin. "Just like your ear?" She quipped. "Or your nose?"

I closed my mouth, smiling at her. "You're alright, Gemma."

I’ll say given that she managed to (temporarily) snap Marcus out of his shame spiral there.

She sat back, wiping the barest traces of a tear away. "You think you got Misty without my help then?" She asked.

I smiled and shook my head. "Not a chance." I leaned back and smirked as I signalled the waiter. "But training can wait. Tonight, we drink."

Marcus: “Though maybe let’s not get to it right away tomorrow. Since… yeah, I really need some rest.”

Pokédex entry #34: Nidoking

These apex predators are native to western Kanto, making their homes on the vast coastal plains north and south of Viridian forest. Operating as the patriarch of their packs, nidoking tend to respond aggressively to any perceived threat.

Nidoking are large, quadrupedal pokemon that are capable of standing and moving on their hind legs for short durations. Their body is covered in small spines that secrete a powerful poison. Many a trainer has fought off the initial assault of a nido pack and only to succumb to poison before they could seek medical attention.

Nidoking tend to be particularly aggressive towards other males. Only one "alpha" may exist per pack and any successful challenge to the alpha will result in a change of leadership and the loser dead or exiled from the pack.

But do Nidos in your setting also delete dragons?

Though more seriously, it’s an interesting take on them. Not quite the same as what I personally roll with, but it’s definitely very thought out.

Novice Trainer, KT#07996101, current roster

Luna, Vulpix

Curie, Happiny

Nidorino

Nidorino: “*Again. I call hax.*” X(

Boy, Marcus just can’t catch a break in this story, huh?

Though joking aside, you did a pretty good job at keeping the reader invested in where things were going next this chapter. Like I had a feeling that Marcus attempting to jump back into the grind was going to be a terrible idea, but you do a good job at selling a sense of visceralness for things going sideways that keeps the reader glued since from just what’s been established in the first two chapters, everything is on the table as potential outcomes. It’s definitely a cut darker and bleaker than I’m normally used to for Pokémon settings and stories, but you own it pretty well here in Death of Duty. Also, dat action choreography. Like it’s never really been something that you’ve been a slouch at, but the entire sequence with the battles in the tall grass felt smooth and just kept me reading to see what would come next.

As for things that I wasn’t as sold on, I thought that you had a couple parts where your paragraphs were a bit idea-dense and might’ve worked a bit better as a few smaller ones. I also thought that there were a few parts where additional description would’ve been handy for setting the scene or providing context to details. The bit with the Pokégear being casually revealed to be insanely expensive was one thing that stood out to me, since it made me wonder why on earth Marcus didn’t just use a phone or a laptop to get a Bing Version of the Pokégear’s functionality. Now it could be that the tech tree and relative distribution of electronics in Journey’s world isn’t as similar to our own as it appears at first glance, but that’s kinda the sort of thing that you need to explicitly establish in description to cut the branches of “why don’t you just [X]?” off. ^^;

It’s also a bit beyond the scope of just this chapter, but I do wonder if Marcus’ trauma regarding the loss of his sister should’ve been a bigger deal in the first two chapters. Like maybe there were some hints that I overlooked in retrospect, but for something that happened three months ago for him, you’d think that it’d occupy a bit more mindspace even if it’s of the “nope nope, not thinking about that right now” variety. Something to consider if you do further tweaks to the first couple chapters sometime down the road.

But altogether, I had fun with this chapter @Joshthewriter . Like it’s a lot darker and grittier than how I normally interpret things with regard to Pokéworld, but you’ve built a pretty cohesive setting and been giving a pretty slick presentation of it. My understanding is that you’ve built up a pretty big following for this story on some other platforms, and honestly, I can see why.

Hope the feedback was helpful, and best of luck with continuing your journey (har har) as a writer.

 

[Persephone]

Hello. Here for review roulette. I do plan on finishing this fic eventually, but for now I only got the first three chapters down.

I’m not the best at reviewing styles. I will say that the style / prose is competent. Nothing too stylized, doesn’t get in the way of the story, doesn’t hinder my enjoyment. Not exactly drawing me in but definitely not pushing me out.

Character work is similar. Marcus is fine. A bit generic, but not grating or anything. Brings in his relative poverty and a little creativity, but otherwise nothing terribly unique.

The story’s strength is its world. It almost seems to be the sole purpose of the story at this point. And it’s a cool concept. Humans aren’t at the top of the food chain, but not the very bottom either. Nature is dangerous, but it can be survived if you know what you’re doing. Or have strong enough pokémon. I do wonder if you’ve leaned a bit far into the danger, though. Two chapters in the wild and he’s almost died twice. Paras, graveler, the nidos, clefairy, fearow, and even rattata can be dangerous to human life. Balancing that, sandshrew are friendly enough and pidgey / spearow can be hunted. It just feels almost comically dangerous at points. Like, how did humans survive long enough to climb the tech tree lol. I think a slightly slower pace and more descriptions of non-hostile interactions would’ve helped balance it out. Especially since the prospect of permanent injury bothers me less when I don’t really care about the character it’s happening to.

Enough negativity, though. The story does a lot of things that I like. Skipping getting the starter and the early routes is always lovely. I do like your non-hostile Pokémon, including the Sandshrew. Happiny are precious. Need all the stones. And vulpix is the best Pokémon ever so this fic automatically can do no wrong.

The actual wilderness survival is pretty good. It is, in fact, rather expensive. I don’t remember if a tent was mentioned or not. I guess you could go without one but your life’s going to suck if it rains.

The class system implications are always delightful. The player receives a Pokémon and Pokedex / Nav for free and wins so often that money isn’t much of an issue. Clearly most NPCs don’t have that luxury. Add in the cost of caring for large exotic animals and, well, good luck pulling that off without an income stream more reliable than betting on matches. I see that as the reason most trainers don’t have more than two to three pokémon. Just too expensive to pay for a larger team.

I’m going to withhold most other comments until I’ve read more than 10% of the story.

 

[canisaries]

Here to review Chapter 7 for the Roulette! Sorry I'm late.

He was a warrior, a born and bred soldier that had earned his respect through blood. He'd spent years as part of Kanto's Ranger Corps, defending the civilian population from wild pokemon attacks since before I was even born. He was a living legend and demanded to be treated as such. He didn't accept novice challenges, only intermediate and elite. If you came to Surge, you came for war.

I see, so he was in a "war" on pokémon rather than a human-human war. Interesting.

That was why I had decided on hunting down a ground type. I knew Pride would eventually gain that typing when he evolved, but I had no clue how to evolve him. It wasn't just with experience and age like most pokemon, there was some kind of external factor. Nidoking and queen weren't exactly common in the league, and trainers tend to be secretive about evolution methods themselves. Until I figured out how to spur that evolution, I was stuck without a ground type.

I have to stretch my suspension of disbelief a little at an evolution method not being public in the age of the internet, even if trainers are secretive.

I couldn't do anything, couldn't tell anyone. My online searches came up blank, although I had completely expected that. It's not like typing in 'crazy acrobat lady broke into my room and kicked my ass' is gonna spit back any decent results anyway. I found more adult videos than I had expected and abandoned that search plenty quick.

lmao

It was a corporate logo, for a Johtan company that was based in Goldenrod. Rocket Industries had been a briefly successful aerospace firm, back when Indigo still had dreams of space exploration. It was apparently defunct now, like the rest of Indigo's space program, but that didn't mean much. It was clearly still in use by this woman and whatever organization she worked for.

My knowledge of Team Rocket in the canon is spotty so I don't know if Team Rocket having a legit front is already there or not but I definitely think it makes more sense than a "secret organization" approach given the fact that they put their logo everywhere.

I'd left Lavender town and it's creepy atmosphere far behind,

*its

They were intelligent, creatures that lived in small colonies made up of many family units.

Stray comma?

He appeared before me, pawing at the ground as he appeared.

Redundant phrasing. "He appeared before me, pawing at the ground" or "He pawed at the ground as he appeared" would be better.

Luna slunk over to my side, laying down on the sun-covered rock.

*lying

I held up an empty pokeball. He pressed his hand into the button and disappeared with a flash of red light. I felt my hand lighten and smiled at the curiosity as the bone club disappeared too.

Huh. So the pokéball recognizes the club as part of the cubone? Something to do with their aura? (I forgot if this was one of the fics with aura worldbuilding I am sorry)

Luna laid back down and yawned.

*lay

I sighed and shook my head. "Did your parents never teach you to talk to strangers?"

Does this mean "did your parents never teach you how to talk to strangers" or "did your parents never teach you not to talk to strangers"?

It had all come crashing down in blood. A shocking murder mystery gripped all of Indigo when the Oak's were found dead in their Viridian home. No evidence was left and the investigation led nowhere. It was as if the murderer had simply disappeared into the ether. All the Oaks' pokemon were still in their balls and there was no sign of a struggle.

Of all the reasons Prof. Oak is taking care of his grandson, this is definitely among the more metal.

Why didn't you just catch yourself a diglet?

Diglett is with two Ts.

The boy smirked at me. "I asked her to though." He yawned and looked around at my makeshift camp. "Wanna battle?" He asked. "I saw you have a cubone. Never battled one of them before. Course, I have my own vulpix and nidorino…" he trailed off, looking up like he was thinking. "Actually, he's a nidoking now."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the boast. "Thanks, but I'm good. We've been hard at training all day and none of us are at our best." I cast him a look. He was a braggart. I didn't like that.

I was kind of expecting Marcus to at least think about asking Blue about the evolution method? I know he probably thinks he wouldn't tell, but the payoff is pretty big.

A terrible screech of metal tearing from the downed chopped

chopper*

She looked at me from across the clearing, then down at acolyte.

Missing capital.

Blue's wartortle was putting out some of the fires, but there was only so much he could do. The helicopter itself was on fire, and there was only so much we could do to slow the spread.

"Only so much he/we could do" repeated.

It's tail elongated and stretched out behind it,

Its*

It connected solidly with Pride, tossing him effortlessly through the trees. An energy ball from Luna connected solidly with the side of the beast's head.

"Connected solidly" repeated.

In the dirt, dead centre of the impact crater the tyranitar had made when it fell, was the crushed and broken body of a raticate.

lmao owned

as well as Fuchsia's Safari Sone,

Zone?

---

I like the marowak in this! I didn't think of them as being particularly intelligent before, but thinking about it now, they are clearly using tools. II like that they have a culture and everything and that Marcus respects them, even if most people probably would do so anyway in order to avoid trouble. It also highlights the heinous nature of the Rockets' act.

I'm not familiar with Blue in the games outside, like, very vague memories of my first game HeartGold, but if I remember right, he's not that far from Gary in the anime. I'm not an anime expert either, but I get the feeling that Blue here is accurate. Not that I'd really care if your Blue was different - eat the canon, trapinch emote and all that.

I think that's all I have for this chapter. See you later whenever I return to this again!

 

[K_S]

Chapter 1
Blitz review

Someone released our prospective protagonist on smogen. And we are at the dreaded hm tm make and break build up of a team.

Dismay feels like a legit reaction.

Especially when finding our trainer p.o.v. is a working class soul. Though Gemma seems nice enough to supply even if our p.o.v. novice is letting pride get in the way. Glad Gemma got him to be a bit cautious and fold at least.

Considering those odds he kinda needs to be.

Lovely, seems like my fav poison type is a menance to be trained. I guess its giving the other mon on our p.o.v.s team a work out. Smart thinking in sending Gemma off but its also a bit risky.

Granted trainers in this setting need to be.

Well he spared the spooked Nido a Zuko encounter.. Luna seems a bit flambe happy. But looks like he got a win through the rinos stomach.

And we get a bit of data on our p.o.v.s background. I suspect his holding into his team so tight makes perfect sense all things considered.

Fun watching Luna practically ghost around the field where Nido is a bouldozer in action. A badly cordinated one.. Stil...

So this Misty does go all out with a watery assault... Poor p.o.v. is going to need luck. That starmie alone...

I wonder Gemmas relationship with p.o.v. and how she has the know how to get sponsers and supplies at a hat drop. Wonder how well her journey went to pull it off.

Also no idea who Curie is besides small, newly hatched, and a baby mon?

Its weird on one level toi imagine Kanto's trainer scene like this. Sponsers, cameras, ecetera becuase thats what Galar felt like. What made Galar stand out. It works here but is something of a culture shock in a way because it breaks expectations so hard.

Lovely fight between nidorino and staryu.. The stage was set well and the tactics made sense. I'm surprised Pride won that fighjt but he did... Goldeens fish out of water state was handled well.. Actually weaponized and near bouncy and in a unique way too. And i suspect p.o.v is growing to hate whistles at this point.

And of course starmie is a nightmare walking. The battle was detailed beautifully, even with the tms thats make canon and probably anime verse trainers skip through you could see the trainer struggling every step of the way. And if starmie is this op i hate to think of the hell sabrina is going to be.

Also i can see p.o.v. after the fight, wrapped aroumd Gemma, goong "thank you thank you thank you for talkng me into those tms." Because
I suspect this would have neen a straight up massacure without them.

Also wet-cat vulpix made me laugh so hard.

And from the main characters perspective we pan out to a larger more ominous world. Looks like team Rocket is going to be scarily compitent here and Silph is already fallen, the world just doesnt know it yet.

Alright so general overview time. This fic has a lot going for it. Detailed pokemon battles. The journey being hyper realistic and an interestong point of view character. (Im sorry you mention the name once and i'm scared to leave the review window to look it up and trigger hopping or a freeze) Honestly i've been meaning to read this for ages and the only reason i havent is persistent tech issues. (Basically if a fics too long. my screen jumps, scrolls around or freezes. Honestly that made this piece a trial). As time permits i'll try another chapter or two for the blitz but know even if i am not reviewing i am reading and so far its an amazing one.

 

[Flyg0n]

Spoiler: Ch 29

Journey

Death of Duty

Part 7: The Fall of the Pokemon League

Trap​

Okay I know I think I owe you a buncha chapters for our exchange but I'm gonna start where I left off reading for now. Which is apparently here because I strongly remember finishing the Jurassic Park arc but not this.

Saffron was burning. The walled city was belching thick clouds of black smoke into the sky, the fires below casting the smoke clouds in hellish red light. A barrage of missiles sailed over the walls and slammed into one of the skyscrapers, a forking bolt of lightning trying and failing to stop the ordnance.

Thats a stark image and open line. brutal, but effective.

"A Shade is a human who is somehow attuned to the dark type," she said. "at least, that's what my mother told me. Every other dark trainer I've met has no clue what I'm talking about." She shrugged. "I'd bet Janine knows more than I do if she knows what a Shade is."

Ooooo yes I remember you talking about these. Its such a cool concept. I think I have a similar idea in the back of my brain but much less pronounced. I really dig that, makes me hope we'll see more of these 'attuned' trainers.

I grimaced. Rocket had given us what we thought was an opening and we'd walked right into the trap. "Hope everyone's alright," I said with my mind on Acolyte and the cubone.

YOU BETTER NOT HURT ACOLYTE
No seriously tho pls,,,

"Look, I didn't like lying about it. I had to keep her safe, it was the only way."

"It's ok, Novice," she said with a smile in her voice. "Curie's ok and that's what matters." She paused for a moment. "I get the sense that you aren't calling to say hello."

I'm glad no time was wasted on trying to string out drama here. It's refreshing because it would be so silly in the midst of everything for her to try and hold a grudge.

I nodded in affirmation. "Trainers help each other," I repeated.

We popped into the storage room, Gemma instantly pulling me into a crushing hug.

I did find this transition quite jarring. I think either a line break, or a strong transition line or buildup to moving to the room? Normally I glaze past these things but I genuinely had to double take at this one.

I looked at Two. "Do it," I ordered. "seize the building."

---

It turned out that Two was so much more advanced than the basic porygon Rocket was using. He tripped half a dozen alarms as he entered the building's system, silencing them all a heartbeat later. Swarms of porygon descended on my living computer, but he was more than a match for even a horde of his predecessors.

A small flicker in the lights was the only signal anything was awry.

Two reappeared on the main monitor in the IT control room, chirping happily. He disappeared back into the computer and his voice came over the IT room's PA. "I've gained control of most of the building's systems. Some of the porygon tried to alert a network centre on the thirty-eighth floor, but I stopped them before they could raise a response."

I am so GLAD to see more Porygon rep, its such a slept on pokemon for anyone tbh. Esp infiltration. I think maybe it subconsciously influenced me to give Marcel a Porygon? They're really useful and fun. Maybe one day I'll write the pokepov porygon fic living in the back of my brain...

Anyways I just really love to see Two get a chance to really shine here. He's in his element and doing a lot to help. Its also resfreshing to see a good win moment here.

She smirked. "I don't know about that." Gemma looked over at Leaf and then back at me. "Heck, she looks like she's been in more scrapes than you have."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh really?" I glanced over at Leaf. My doubt died in the way she stared back at me. "Heh, maybe you're right."

I really like that you allude to all these side stories and other stuff. I can struggle with sometimes hinting at a story for any characters that aren't my main ones but even as a canon character it feels like Leaf has Seen Things:tm: and Done Stuff:tm:

"Do what you can," I said. "keep me in the loop."

"To be fair," I interjected. "you did put me into the danger

stairwells," Two said. "they'll trap the

So quite a few times I noticed this. I could be wrong but I am feeling pretty sure that unless the prior sentence ends in a comma these need to be capitalized because they start a new sentence. There's a couple more times this happens.

"The level below you," Two said. "But I cannot leave the system if we hope to hold off the Rockets and the Army downstairs."

I grimaced. To go into battle down what Two brought to my team was a terrible idea.

I hope this doesn't go bad

"Stand aside," I ordered, trying my best to put on a commanding voice. "only warning."

The red glow faded and I saw that his half of his face had been replaced by machinery. Crimson red hair hung down over the remaining half on his face, only the robotic eye was visible. It was locked on me.

"You shouldn't have come," he said, his voice tinged with synthetic tones. "you're all going to die."

He stepped forward and I saw that one leg was entirely machine. His other ended at the knee and continued in another robotic limb. One arm raised and I widened my eyes. He was more machine than man.

Ohhhh my gosh its the infamous Silver Cyborg. I can't believe it.

On a side note I might have expected a little more internal shock. The lack of surprised or confusion almost makes it sound like Marcus knew what was up here except later and throughout he never references Silver by name. Or seems to know who he is. If he doesn't know I'd expect more shock and awe, even considering we've seen some gruesome stuff and crazy experiements.

I hit the window and it broke. I smashed through the weakened glass and tumbled into open space. Forty-six stories above the ground.

uh oh spaghettio!

This was another nonstop chapter of pretty brutal and and tense action. There's some slow moments in but Marcus and crew really can't catch a break can they?

Marcus jumps straight into the thick of it, trying to retake Silph. I'm glad we got to see the return of Gemma. And it was nice that some people were showing Marcus respect more. I guess he really has changed, both in how he carries himself and experience. It was great to the see that returning theme of trainers help each other, it brought some much needed levity to this rather grim situation.

And then that final bit, whew. I actually had no idea Cyborg!Silver was gonna show here? For some reason i thought it was waaaayy later. Anyways I am always impressed and shocked that you manage to cram so much wild concepts into this fic. I can tell you're having a lot of fun and honestly I envy that boldness (can i borrow some).

The whole fic just wildin and now Marcus just got yeeted. Im sure he'll be fine, 46 stories is no big deal though right?

Spoiler: Ch 30

The point of war is not to die for your beliefs. Its to make the other poor bastard die for his. — Ranger Lt. Col. Emmet "Surge" Roth

Oooo what a chilling Surge quote

"Surge has been forced back several blocks," Leopold droned. "we cannot hope to sustain this attack without his assistance."

"Doesn't matter," I spat bitterly. I wiped the Rocket at my feet's blood from my blade. "Retreat is death."

He limped over to me, taking care to remain behind the car that we had sheltered behind. "So is this," he said. "We have to—"

I grabbed him and forced him down as I lashed out. My blade found purchase in the soldier's neck. He stared back at me in surprise, before slumping back to the ground.

I have to reread this scene three times. It could just be me but I kept thinking Janine just stabbed Leopold.

Clearly thats not the case but as best as I can surmise Leopold says his line, Janine wipes blood from her blade as she replies and then she pulled him out of the way of almost getting attacked? I think its the same soldier on the ground? If so i think referring to them as 'the Rocket' as you did before might help a wee bit?

Again maybe its just me but I really did triple take at this sequence.

Artemis got to Marcus first. She closed her rear talons around him, spearing him in the belly.

This really is such a very 'oof' moment because for the setting it really be like that huh? You survive the fall bc ur prehistoric flying reptile saves you but also stabs you and kills you.

"Move," Elias repeated. "it has to be now."

I hesitated for a heartbeat and another flash behind me broke the spell. His scizor grabbed me by the shoulders and hauled me off of Marcus' prone form.

"Misery, use pain split. Try to focus on his internal injuries, if you can."

This is pretty sick as a way to heal, I dig it

I silenced him with a furious kiss. I didn't care if anyone was there, if anyone saw. He had almost just died and still the stubborn bastard wanted to fight.

Ngl my first thought reading this was a very intense "ewwwww!!!!!" y'all are covered in blood and grime gross. But I suppose that is what people might do lol.

We suddenly decelerated and I felt Shimmer grab me with her telekinesis. I trusted in my pokemon and let go.

She catapulted me upwards through one of the shattered windows. I landed and rolled with the movement, sensing something moving on me.

Gosh i really love these kinds of details, of practiced manuevers and techniques that skilled trainers do with their pokemon. Really lends weight to the diea of skill and practice.

Brutus hit him in the chest, lifting him with both pincers.

Something that occured to me here is even with the summaries at the end of a chapter it probably wouldn't hurt to try to mention a pokemon's species here and there a couple more times. Granted while maybe its just me, if the average reader is reading a bajillion fics or there's long spaces between updates, its so easy to forget I really had no idea who Brutus was in the first half for a good bit.

I almost gagged on the stench. Only the years I'd spent training with my father had prepared me for this, and even then, Sludge had never smelled as bad as my father's muk had.

My amorphous blob of poison lurched into motion.

I was about to say 'dang why didn't you open with this' but I guess even Muk's poison barely puts a dent in Silver sheesh

I hoped that the Silk would last longer.

I don't think silk needs capilatizing here?

The monstrous feraligatr gently lifted the cyborg, taking the time to growl at me menacingly. It turned, slowly plodding over to the shattered windows. I saw the cyborg's robotic eye find me again, and then they were gone.

Gone like... teleported? or ran away? it was kind of unclear

INDIGO ALERT — LEGEND-CLASS THREAT IMMINENT. ALL INDIGO TRAINERS ARE ENLISTED IN CIVIL DEFENCE. ALL TRAINERS ARE TO REPORT TO THE NEAREST POKEMON CENTRE FOR IMMEDIATE TELEPORT.

UH OH SPAGHETTIO

Ooooooo this chapter really changed things up, swapping to Janine POV after that very unfortunate cliffhanger ending last chapter. I think thats honestly a fantastic choice because not only did we get to see some good bits of angst and action and seeing things from her POV. Plus there's nothing like the angst of watching your boyfriend get yeeted out a 46 story window and speared by the talons of his aerodactyl.

I did really enjoy that sequence, very whumpy.

But oh boy the Mewtwo situation is going down now??? Yikes. I am terrified to know how much of a menace Mewtwo is in this world. Looks like Giovanni is gonna get his wish though, to make up for this. hahahah im sure this will all be fine.

Also did Leaf seemingly maybe have some kind of connection to Mewtwo? She seemed to almost sense its feelings.

Either way I kinda almost feel like Giovanni is kind of right. Not in what he's doing or how, but why. Because really it seems like these legends in this world are very not Nice. And humans are very squishy. So we need to protect ourselves.

I wonder how Marcus and friends will be able to stand against Mewtwo though, and Giovanni. He still seems to much lower tier. Unless... Articuno? Well whatever the case Im sure it will be a real showdown! (hopefully no more deaths my heart can't take any)

Finally glad I'm caught up, apparently I wasn't so far behind on reading as I thought!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, dropping in with a quick foot in the door just in case I can’t get back to something meatier before the Blitz is up, but… an April Fool’s Day fic, huh? Not sure what that’s going to entail, but let’s see where this goes:

Spoiler

Footsteps echoed down the long, cold hallway. The prisoner's head perked up at the approaching sound. It had been days since he had last heard that distinct gait, listening intently for the barest trace of a limp present in his nemesis' steps.

He knew who was coming, but what he didn't know was why. The man had already asked him half a thousand questions, none of them making any sense to the raven-haired boy. He put the incessant questions from his mind, steeling himself for the encounter.

Wait, “raven-haired boy”? That’s definitely different there.

He would make an attempt to escape this time. He was the chosen one. He was Arceus' true hero, a knight of aura and an avatar of vengeance in a cruel world. He had never been denied his will until his transportation to this strange place, but he would change that today.

Wait a minute… is this that Betrayed Ash story that was basically an excuse to feed him into a woodchipper at the end? Since I can see that “knight of aura” bit there…

A tall, imposing figure turned the corner. He approached the cell slowly, as though he knew the prisoner had been agonizing over this moment and was intent to draw it out.

The figure stopped at the bars of the cell. The prisoner remained blankly focused on the wall, giving the tall figure nothing.

"Ketchum," said the man. "I would have words."

Okay, then. Time to see just how fast Ash crashes and burns in the cold hard world that is the Journeyverse.

His gaze never shifted from the point on the wall. Ash Ketchum tightened his fists, reaching for the well of willpower within him that fuelled his power.

Ash Ketchum glanced down at his fists, hoping beyond hope that the azure flames of Aura's power would be burning on his fists.

Stubborn darkness greeted him. No fire danced in the dim light, no inner power answering his desperate call.

This entire one-shot’s going to be like this with just a constant stream of lulzy anticlimax, isn’t it?

Ash Ketchum felt his shoulders sag and his spirit waver. He glanced up at the tall figure, scowling at his captor. "Go fuck yourself, Giovanni."

The tall figure sighed deeply and Ash suppressed the urge to try to grab him through the cage. He wanted to bash the Rocket Boss' head in and enact one of his patented escape plans, but a sinking feeling in his gut told him that the idea was doomed.

Not least of all because your present writer hates your guts so… yeah, don’t hold your breath on this working out well for you.

"You continue to address me in this manner," Giovanni began, unperturbed by his prisoner's harsh mannerisms. "And yet, as I have told you, I have no clue who you are."

Oh yeah, I’m sure that Ash will take this well™. (Though does that mean that this is Rainbow Rocket!Giovanni?)

Giovanni unfolded his arms from behind his back and flipped open the folder he held there. "As far as my considerable resources have been able to tell, Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town does not exist."

Giovanni closed his file folder with a sigh and looked up at the teenage trainer. "At least, not in this universe."

Okay, yeah. This is Rainbow Rocket!Giovanni. Especially with that casual mention of “not in this universe”.

"You said that before," Ash replied curtly. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Do you remember how you came to be here?" Giovanni asked cautiously. "Anything at all?"

Ash was quiet for a long moment. His fists tightened and hard lines set into his face as he remembered the fateful battle that had landed him in this cell with his pokemon massacred.

Well, that got dark quickly. Though yeah. Only good things™ could be expected to happen when the author of a story just doesn’t like you. ^^;

"You beat me," he said quietly. He shook his head and corrected himself. "No, you didn't win. I lost."

I’m… beginning to see how this guy is going to have a BAD END™ in this one-shot, since he just doesn’t know when to quit.

Ash pressed through Giovanni's team, his own pokemon creating a path through the madness. His lucario was locked in battle with an armoured Mewtwo, and his pikachu fended off an arbok with ease.

Wait, so Ash from Journeyverse (or I suppose some other universe tangential to Journeyverse) had his Journeys team, or…?

The room rippled and swam for a moment, then the scene shifted almost imperceptibly and Ash caught a flash of gold interspersed with bands of violet light and thick bands of smoke that dissipated as soon as they appeared. He landed on one knee, steadying himself on the ground and fighting the urge to vomit.

Oh, this is the moment from Legends Sinjoh where the fabric of reality unravels, isn’t it?

He glanced up, at the small bunker that he'd traced Giovanni to. He was so close to finally killing Giovanni after what the Rocket Boss had done to him. After he'd turned his friends against him and forced Ash to kill them all in a desperate race for survival.

Yuuuuup, there’s the Betrayed Ash angle there. We already know his Pokémon aren’t making it out of this scene alive, though I wonder just how fast Ash himself is going to job in this one-shot.

"Giovanni!" shouted the chosen one. "I'm here to kill you!"

His hand dove into his pack, pulling out a full restore. Ash emptied the bottle into the back of his injured shiny lucario. His black hair was matted with sweat and blood and his team of fearsome pokemon stood with him. He couldn't feel the fire of Aura flowing through him, but battle had been joined and there was no avoiding it now.

Is this a badfic parody? Since I feel like you’re just needling the hell out of more Mary Sue takes on Ash right about now.

Ash's golden lucario rose from his feet, facing down Giovanni. Mewtwo was missing and he would have no better chance than this. The crime lord had changed into some sort of bulky exploration suit. None of his pokemon were present, just a massive brute of a pokemon with golden rings banding each limb.

A trio of golden rings spun into existence, leaking thick smoke and violet light. Three gods emerged from the strange rings, their eyes blazing the same violet as the ringed creature behind Giovanni. Twisted apparitions of the Bird trio screeched their cries in unison, no doubt twisted like Mewtwo had been.

No, those are just Galarian Birds, Ash.

Ash stepped forward, raising the skarmory steel feather that he had long used as his blade. "Stand down and prepare to be—"

An red-orange blur slammed into his charizard's throat, snapping the fire drake's neck with the suddenness of its attack. Charizard toppled, limp limbs and wings splayed out at an awkward angle. The Zapdos skidded to a halt, glaring down at Ash with malevolent hate.

Giovanni: “... As you were saying?”

A purple bird that radiated psychic power floated forward ethereally, freezing the rest of the intruder's pokemon in place as the discoloured Zapdos speared Ash's beloved leavanny from behind with a pointed beak.

The Zapdos tossed his loyal bug into the air where the third bird, a reaper of black with sinister flames roaring off its wings, skewered the immobilized leavanny and swallowed it whole.

That must be one really big Moltres to swallow a bug that stands more than half its neutral resting height… either that or it’s got some pelican tendencies or something like that.

Ash felt the psychic force hold him lessen and fell back in shock, the rest of his team still frozen in place. His lucario made it a few steps before midnight fire smote it where it stood. His espeon glowed with psychic light, but the purple Articuno wiped it from the earth with a flick of its mind.

Ash:

Giovanni: “Yeah, I’ve certainly heard that one before. Know when you’re beat, kid.”

Pikachu finally shook off the effects of Articuno's immobilizing gaze. Ash's starter glanced back at him, the same determination filling his eyes that had driven the little electric mouse to victory over every foe that the pair had ever faced.

"Pikachu…" he started, his voice faltering for the first time since the horde of spearow had descended on him during the first days of his pokemon journey.

I swear, the only way that this could get better as a meta black comedy is if Pikachu got the Smash Brothers treatment and was summarily yeeted into low earth orbit.

His starter nodded once and turned back to face the bird trio with the betrayed hero of his universe at his side. Ash hefted his feather-blade, intensity burning in his stare. He struck the pose that his pikachu could use to channel the Z-powers contained within them both.

"Gigabolt Hav—"

Pikachu leapt up before Ash even finished his command. White hot electricity surged from the little pokemon's red cheeks, bathing the chamber with the sky's fury. Pikachu let loose with everything that the little mouse had.

It’s going to do bupkis to the Galarian Birds, isn’t it?

Ash felt his hair stand on end as lightning bathed their foes. He tasted ozone and shut his eyes to block out the impossible light. Then it faltered. The retribution of the storm died and Ash felt his heart drop as he dared to look. The birds hadn't even been scratched, let alone knocked out by the most powerful attack that his pikachu had ever used.

Yeah, I knew it. You’re just heaping on all the humiliations for Journeyverse’s Ash, aren’t you?

An orb of yellow electricity crackled to life above the Zapdos. The purple Articuno conjured its own orb of chilling elemental energy as the midnight Moltres did the same with a ball of fire.

Pikachu leapt up in a last desperate effort to shield his trainer from certain doom. The assembled gods loosed their power as the little pokemon lit up with one last thunderbolt.

Ash closed his eyes, shutting out the quiet shriek of pain before his starter was silenced for good.

Such is life when you’re Wrong Genre Savvy and think that you’re the God Mode Sue hero of the story.

He heard a muffled command come through Giovanni's suit and opened his eyes to see the trio of gods disappear through the same golden rings as before.

A pair of blast doors beneath a small viewport, a dozen armed soldiers bursting through and training their rifles on him. Laser dots painted his chest, but none dared to fire. The implication was clear.

Ash: “... I knew that I shouldn’t have left behind the backup teams. Assuming they’re even alive right now.”

Giovanni reached up and unsealed his helmet. He held it at his side, regarding Ash with newfound curiosity. "Surrender," he ordered. "Before the same happens to you."

Ash let his feather-blade fall useless to the floor. He looked inwards, for the well of Aura that had always burned inside of him. Arceus had called it his blessing, an endowment made to aid in his chosen one's quest for good. But now, the well of Aura was silent and dead.

Yeeeeeeah, Arceus is kinda busy with problems of his own if this is really set concurrent to the Happening in Legends Sinjoh, so yeah. Have fun with that, Ash.

He reached for the power anyways, fighting to draw on every ounce of willpower within his soul. Ash Ketchum willed it to the surface, letting his emotions run wild in a vain attempt to draw more of his Aura loose.

Still, the well remained silent and empty. No azure flames came forth, no supernatural strength and speed filled his limbs. Ash Ketchum let his arms fall to his sides in defeat, his gaze falling to the floor.

Giovanni:

“You really thought you were just going to pull some Mary Sue BS out of your ass to get out of this, huh?”
Ash: “Shut up! It worked before! I don’t know what’s going on here!”

He didn't speak. Not even when the soldiers kicked his feather-blade away and cuffed him. For the first time in his life, Ash Ketchum had truly lost. He had lost everything.

Well, not everything, everything. I think that’s about a scene out from here.

"I was conducting a test upon the multiversal capabilities of the creature known as Hoopa." Giovanni folded his arms across his chest. "And in return, the multiverse spat you back at me." He sighed and leaned against the wall beside Ash's lone cell. "I am at a loss as to why."

"And you think I'd be able to shed light on that?"

Ash asked incredulously. "You're my greatest foe, the reason my life is in ruins." He rose to his feet and stepped up to the bars of the cell. "What are you trying to tell me? That you aren't Giovanni?"

Giovanni:

He tipped his head. "No. I am Giovanni Sakai, to be sure." He reached out with a key in his hand and unlocked the cell, swinging the door open. "But it might be more accurate to say that I'm not your Giovanni Sakai."

Ash warily stepped towards the open door. "You mean to say that you aren't my enemy?"

"The multiverse seemingly thought so, and I believe that it spat you here as a sort of counter to myself."

Giovanni frowned and stepped away from the cell. Again, Ash saw the cold calculation in his gaze. He had the same unfeeling and chilling glare that Ash had seen a thousand times before.

"Whether you are my enemy still remains to be seen. You did attempt to kill me upon your arrival here."

Yeah, Ash is going to do something stupid like try and kill Giovanni anyways and get splattered. I can already tell.

Ash remained silent. He'd meant to kill Giovanni. He'd wanted to do it himself, run the older man through with his feather-blade and leave him in a puddle of blood. He'd have done it too, if his Aura hadn't failed him.

"I know that this must be confusing for you. I went from your mortal enemy in one instance to… this, in a span of seconds." Giovanni turned his back and motioned for Ash to follow. "I would feel much the same, especially if I had spent as much blood as you had. But if you stay here and allow me the chance, I can show you that you are not my enemy."

Even if Ash would be well-advised to take the deal, since… yeah. He’s clearly way out of his depth compared to his home universe where he has God Mode Sue powers.

Ash Ketchum stepped out of the cell, following Giovanni down the short hallway into a small kitchen. He stopped suddenly, staring at the man with some suspicion clearly on his face.

"You mean to say that you aren't an evil crime lord in this universe?"

"I am a gym leader and founding member of the Indigo Aces." He turned and tried to offer a warm smile. "I have resorted to some less honourable methods in the past, but I am trying to save humanity. I am not an evil man."

Giovanni turned and gestured to the kitchen. "Please, you will be my guest here. I apologize for the way we treated you at first, but you did not give us much of a choice."

Ash: “My team’s a bloody smear on the floor right now because of you!”

Giovanni: “We’ll clone them so you can get versions of them back? We do have the technology for that…”

Ash frowned. The kitchen was small and spartan, like it was only intended for the use of a small group of people. He glanced at the heavy metal door that reminded him of the bars of his cell. This was still a cage, even if it was more comfortable than the cell.

"My Giovanni was a gym leader." Ash looked back at the Rocket Boss. "He was obsessed with control, much like you appear to be."

Giovanni chuckled, and led Ash down another hallway and away from the kitchen. "I would wager that he also had an underground facility that looked decidedly like an evil-lair." He turned his head with a grin. "We are likely often reflected in our multiversal selves. It is important to note that we are not likely to be perfect mirrors of our alternate selves. The multiverse is a window into possibility, where things can be different in a thousand minute ways."

Yeah, which you just experienced firsthand from how brutally you jobbed to this Gio, Ash. Again, take the hint. Or don’t, really.

They walked in silence as Ash sourly contemplated the meaning of that. If this Giovanni was telling the truth then he had thrown his friends' lives away in vain. If that was the truth, then he was no hero at all.

He felt the resolve build in his mind. That could not be the case. He was the Chosen One. He would not have been punished like this in vain. He could only assume that this world had need of him. Even more than the world he had been torn from.

Giovanni: “Oh for crying out loud…”

Giovanni broke the silence and interrupted the train of thought as he pushed open the doors of the small living quarters. "You'll find these much more accommodating than your previous room." He ushered Ash through and let the door shut behind them. "This is where you will be staying until you've satisfied my caution."

"You're allowing me to live?" Ash said, still having difficulty believing that Giovanni was content to let him live here unmolested. It was a cage still, but he had expected an executioner's block.

Giovanni nodded slowly and Ash saw the same calculating gaze that his Giovanni was all too prone to. "Another version of myself may have been your enemy, but you are not my enemy."

Giovanni: “For now, anyways. As you already saw from our battle earlier, I don’t expect us to be enemies for long if it comes down to it.”

Ash raised an eyebrow. "You said that already."

"Then ponder it," Giovanni replied. He turned toward the door. "I have business I am needed for in Indigo. I will be back in three days’ time."

"And what am I to do?" Ash asked in response.

Giovanni: “Mope and cry about your team? I dunno, figure it out on your own. Just give me an actual decision when I’m back.”

Giovanni stopped at the door for a moment. He glanced back and for a moment Ash saw a glimpse of something dark and angry inside of Giovanni. He wasn't sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him or if his Aura powers were struggling to re-emerge.

"There is a large library down the hall. I would suggest that you educate yourself on your new home."

inb4 it’s unrelated to Ash’s powers and there’s just something genuinely dark and angry in this Gio that even normies can see.

Giovanni turned and strode from the room, leaving Ash alone. The Chosen One listened to the footsteps lessen and then disappear entirely. He heard a heavy metal door slam a few minutes later and then nothing at all.

He sat down finally, letting the tension leave his body. His shoulders sagged and his eyes fluttered as exhaustion washed over him. He'd been running on adrenaline during the entire conversation with Giovanni and now he was crashing.

Ash laid back in the small bed. He didn't fight the sleep, praying to Arceus that he would find peaceful dreams rather than the hellish nightmares of death that he had been having. He could learn about his new home once he had gotten some rest, and just maybe he could find a way home.

Well, I guess that you still have some use for your Ash here yet, given that he’s not yet a corpse.

I’m not really sure what I was expecting from this one-shot, though brutally taking the piss out of more obnoxious fanfic portrayals of Ash was definitely funnier than I was expecting. Like there’s something just very:

About seeing one of the most eye-rolling premises get brought up and then slam into a wall and explode, which I gather was the main point of this one-shot. The prose was pretty smooth as well, and aside from a couple paragraphs that I thought worked better broken up into smaller pieces, it’s genuinely hard to think of things that I would recommend changing in it.

Though I suppose that this is as good a sign as any that I should get back into your story sometime @Joshthewriter . Since it’s going to be wild to see all these little disparate threads come together later on in it.

 

[Joshthewriter]

Journey

Death of Duty

Part 7: The Fall of the Pokemon League

Death​

---

Artemis' talons tore out of my midsection in a spray of blood. I tumbled out of her grip, rolling with the momentum. The world spun around me and I found myself suddenly facing the ground.

Janine hit me in the midsection and wrapped herself around me. I grunted in pain, hearing and feeling the audible crack of at least one of my ribs breaking on impact. The wind drove from my lungs and I couldn't help the gasping cry I let out.

The telltale sensation of telekinesis pulling on me told me that Shimmer was slowing our descent. I could hear Janine breathing hard against my neck, could feel her desperately holding onto me. Then we hit the net that Cherish had spun and Janine's weight slammed down onto me and broke several more of my ribs.

The net of webbing enveloped us completely. It bent and bowed, warping under the impact of our bodies, but it held fast.

"Marcus," Janine's voice was barely a whisper, but I heard the fear clearly over the carnage below. Her hands pressed into the wounds on my belly, trying and failing to do something helpful. I could feel the blood flowing out of the mangled mess that had been my stomach. "Oh my god, Marcus."

I coughed, blood splattering up out of my mouth. I couldn't see, couldn't even breathe. All I could feel was the searing pain in my gut.

"Nnngg" I groaned into Janine's neck.

I felt her body wrack with a sob, felt her shake as she tried to breathe herself. She let go of my belly and simply held me.

A gangly silhouette crawled over to us. Janine turned her head and I heard her mumble an order. I vaguely realized that the spindly shape had to be Janine's ariados, but I couldn't quite make out the details. Janine shifted and Cherish took me from her arms.

I hardly felt the massive bug lift me. I didn't register the spinning as she wrapped my midsection with a layer of silk. Janine hefted me over the ariados' back and tied a string of silk under my arms to hold me in place.

Consciousness slipped away from me, Cherish's rhythmic gait rocking me to sleep. I fought the urge to pass out, but my vision was clouded and the sounds of battle seemed so far away. I tried to focus, but even the act of thinking seemed to require a monumental effort.

Rough hands grabbed me off the pokemon's back. Panic was obvious in the voices around me, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Someone laid me down and I felt her there.

Her hand touched mine and I instinctively grabbed hold. I knew it was Janine, even if my senses were failing me. I tried to talk, tried to tell her I was sorry. I tried to tell her that I loved her.

A gurgle of blood escaped my lips, and I felt a painful rattle in my chest as I tried to draw a breath. She touched my face softly and I tried to focus my eyes to look at her again.

I tried to speak, but no breath filled my lungs and only a bubble of blood came forth.

She touched the side of my face softly, her hand in mine. "I'm here, Ranger," she said quietly. "It's ok, I'm here."

I let go. Pain overwhelmed me, wracking every fibre of my being. My vision swam and I stopped being able to hear anything except the slowing chug of my heartbeat.

She moved suddenly, like something had torn her away. I felt a chill settle into my bones and could hear death's whisper as my heart slowed to a crawl.

Then my insides caught fire and pain became my whole existence.

---

I opened my eyes and recoiled in shock. Her neck was broken, head lolling back at an uncomfortable angle. Blood stained her previously bright hued pikachu shirt, trailing down her torso from a gaping hole in her shoulder. She made a strangled moaning sound and shuffled a step towards me.

I staggered backwards, tripping over a brick and landing on my ass. I sat stunned for a moment, then I registered how many of them there were. Dozens, no, hundreds of people, all of them mangled and bloodied just like her.

I rose, stumbling as the crowd surged against me. They pushed me forward, all of them walking with singleminded purpose. I scrambled backwards, looking around desperately. A stream of walking corpses were pouring out of the storefront further down the street, cutting off any chance of escape.

My eyes scanned the street desperately, looking for some refuge before the horde of people could swallow me whole and trample me. I moved as quickly as I could, dashing over to the side of the road and turning around to face the horde.

They were all shuffling blindly down the street. Not one turned to look at me. Not one cared. They marched slowly towards the blinding purple glow that illuminated the street.

Then it hit me. I had been falling from the Silph Tower. Janine had caught me. It hadn't mattered, Artemis had impaled me with her talons and I'd been bleeding so much. I remembered Janine's hand in mine and the struggle to draw a breath. I remembered how distant it all seemed and how scared Janine had been. I had died. I had died and now this was some sort of afterlife.

I glanced down at my belly and confirmed my fears. My stomach was torn open, blood and entrails hanging from the trio of gaping wounds. I gingerly poked at one of the wounds. It didn't hurt. It took me a moment, and then I realized that I felt no sensation at all. No pain, no touch, nothing. Nothing but a frigid chill that numbed everything.

The woman that had spooked me disappeared into the crowd and I regarded it with confusion. I was dead. So were they. And yet, I was seemingly aware of my situation and they were not. Something was off, but I didn't yet know what.

I nodded absently to myself. These corpses were all walking slowly in the same direction, towards the glowing light. They knew where they were going. They knew what they were doing. Odds are, I'd find answers wherever they were going.

I warily shuffled after the procession of the dead. The source of the light was indistinct, but it was the only clue I had to what was going on. I didn't know if I was truly dead, or if the battle had been won. All I knew was that I had to move. There was some urgency in me that pushed me into action.

Twice more, large groups joined up with the one I was following. They streamed out of alleys and cross-streets by the hundreds, swelling the horde to cover almost the entire road. I leapt up on top of a burned out car and glanced around when we encountered a third group. Pokemon were part of this third group, a veritable menagerie of beasts with similarly fatal wounds.

The road was going to get too crowded to move soon and the source of the glowing light had grown no closer. I scanned the storefronts and buildings on the side of the road closer to me. There had to be a way off the street, to get me a better look at what was happening.

I found it. An alleyway that had a stream of people pouring out of it. I shoved my way through the growing crowd of people and elbowed my way through the dozens of people attempting to leave the alley.

A particularly large man, obese and missing part of his leg, was hauling himself forward. The crowd cleared slightly as it parted around him and I seized the opportunity. I dashed the remaining few feet and launched myself up onto the fire escape's ladder.

The metal scaffolding shook and rattled, smashing repeatedly against the side of the building as I took the steps in threes. I didn't know if I could be injured if the supports failed and the fire escape fell, but I wasn't eager to test that idea. I didn't need to die as a ghost.

I reached the top and leapt onto the empty roof, leaving the rickety metal death trap behind. I felt as though my heart should have been pounding and my chest heaving for air, but my heart lay still and my lungs had no need for air. I was just cold.

I crossed the roof quickly, looking down at the street. There were easily hundreds of them. And they were all shuffling mindlessly in the same direction.

"Odd," she said. "I did not expect any of the living in this realm."

I jumped in my skin, startled by the gnarled, bony crone that was at the edge of the roof. She hadn't been there a moment before. The roof had been completely empty.

Her shadow grinned at me wickedly, sinister eyes and a glowing set of yellow teeth bared. It was a gengar, one of the more malevolent ghost pokemon. I saw two more pairs of eyes peeking from the folds of the crone's robes and I connected the dots.

"Elite Kikoku," I said quickly.

The old woman grinned, her gaze still transfixed to the shuffling horde. "Please, call me Agatha. All those titles… they're so stuffy and old fashioned."

She turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow as she puzzled at my presence. "It appears that it would be a stretch to describe you as living." The woman gestured to my mangled belly. "But perhaps that will yet change."

"What is this place?" I asked cautiously. "It… looks like Saffron."

She gestured around. "This is a place for lost souls, a reflection of our mortal plane. It is a world beyond our own, where decisions can be made," she replied cryptically. She turned away and looked down at the horde of corpses. "But today… I have done a terrible thing. I have made their decision for them today. They will return to Saffron to aid our plight."

She then turned to me and I clearly saw her face. She approached me, looking me up and down. "However, I cannot make your decision for you." She reached out with her cane, lifting the hem of a spectral cloak hanging from my shoulders. "Something has tethered you to the mortal plane and kept you from hearing my call." She smirked knowingly.

I glanced down. The cloak was damn near invisible. I could only see it thanks to the fact that she had moved it. I thought I could hear the faint archaic chanting of a thousand dead languages.

The cloak shifted again and the wounds seemed to heal slightly before my eyes. The translucent cloak tore in strips, shredding the spectral fabric as my stomach knitted itself back together.

"Ah," she said. "Misery shields you from deaths final embrace." Agatha lowered her cane. "She is a fickle friend, be wary for she will demand a price."

I regarded the cloak more closely, noting how it hung weightless off my shoulders and blew in the nonexistent wind. The front fringes of the cloak were tattered and ripped, as though they were taking on my wounds.

"I don't understand," I said plainly. "Did I die? What price am I going to pay?"

The crone shrugged. "Men have gone mad pondering those questions. I cannot tell you whether you have died or not, nor what recompense the dead will demand of you. Death is a fickle and untrustworthy friend."

"That's incredibly non-helpful."

The crone shrugged again. "Death tends not to be all that helpful." She turned back and walked over to the edge of the roof that overlooked the crowd. "Except for when the rules are broken."

She raised her cane and slammed it back down. A jagged shadow spread down from her cloak and rose from the ground beside her. It stared at me with malevolent yellow eyes, it's mouth a pit of razors with a long tongue lolling out. It would almost have been comical if I wasn't terrified of the shade.

"What do you think, Ranger Wright? You know what we are up against. Will the dead help turn the tide?"

I nodded, joining the Elite's side and trying to ignore her gengars malicious grin. "It's a psychic," I said calmly. "you're building an army of ghosts. Trying to give us an advantage over it."

She smiled. "One small correction," she began. "I am building just one part of our army. Lance called for us all to gather our strength, to create something that was greater than the sum of its parts." She nodded at me. "I believe you're part of another part of our forces. A member of those who have been honed against the most despicable and disposable humanity had to offer."

I blinked, trying to process that. "Are you implying that Rocket… Giovanni… was all just some sick kind of test?"

"Yes and no," she replied. "They were another part of humanity's army, but the part that did the unsavoury things that others would not. They were meant to bring us all together, and in that they have succeeded marvellously."

I shook my head slowly. "Why would… why…" I just couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that Rocket had been nothing more than a whetstone to hone the forces of good. "I don't…"

"You don't have to understand, Ranger." She turned back and looked up at the glowing purple light. "You just have to fight. From what I understand, you've become quite proficient at it."

That was all I'd been doing. That was all I had done since I left the farm. That was all I'd ever done. Fought with my Pa, fought against what he'd wanted for me, fought against what I had thought evil was.

"I'm used to it," I said. "There was a time when I was scared. Of everything. Of fighting, of dying… then I wasn't afraid at all, and that scared me even more. I wasn't afraid of the fighting anymore, but of what it might make me." I looked down at myself, noting that my stomach no longer was a gory mess. My hands were still stained by blood, but I was whole again. "I was scared of becoming something like the real monsters that I was fighting."

Agatha turned to look at me. "What changed?" she asked. From her knowing grin, I had a feeling she knew the answer.

"I learned who I was," I replied. I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt my heart give a valiant thump in my chest. "I learned that I was strong." My heart pounded again. I looked at Agatha and nodded. "I learned how to make the hard choice."

The Elite grinned wildly, turning back to look at the growing crowd. "Surge certainly knows how to pick 'em, doesn't he?" She pulled a pair of scuffed up balls from the folds of her shadowy cloak and passed them over to me. "He has such a knack for finding the ones with integrity. I have a feeling that this gift will not go to waste."

I looked down at the battered pair of pokeballs. There was something familiar about them, almost like I'd shaken an old friend's hand.

"Open them," she ordered. "they will fight with you once more."

An armoured figure, bristling with spines and indignant energy rose from the first spear of light. I turned, I saw the unmistakable silhouette and gasped. He towered over me and I swelled with pride.

Then I saw the pronged horn and buzzing wings and my heart roared to life in my cold, dead chest. My team was here. They had fallen but they'd never left my side.

"How?" I asked breathlessly. "Is this real?"

"When I tear open the veil, reality will become… distorted." She smiled innocently, as though the old crone hadn't just rocked the concept of death to its core. "The fallen can use that tear in the fabric of mortality to become corporeal once more. It will only last as long as I can hold open the door, but it may give us a small advantage. When the sky opens up with the dead, you may call them forth one more time."

She glanced up at the two pokemon behind me. "Consider this an apology of sorts, for being subject to our great deception." She smiled serenely and nodded. "Take them with you and they will aid you one last time."

I narrowed my gaze. She meant Rocket. She meant the fact that all of the pain I'd been through was nothing more than a ruse to forge powerful fighters. I tried to speak but I found that my voice had abandoned me.

"Now go, Ranger." She lifted her cane and brought it back down onto the roof. My heartbeat echoed along with it. "Go and play your part."

The reflection of Saffron crumbled into dust before my eyes. The buildings simply began to dissolve and fade away. Agatha's form began to dissipate, but her smile never faded.

"Death comes for us all," echoed the crone. "It will demand a price for the life saved today." She looked me up and down. "Be wary, Ranger. Death rarely demands that which we can bear to lose."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Is someone I love going to die because of this?" My mind went to Janine, or Gemma. Even Surge and the rest of Zapdos was here. "Is someone going to die because of me?"

The rest of the world crumbled away, leaving only Agatha and myself on a shrinking patch of rooftop.

"If we do not succeed, then everyone will die." She nodded ominously. She knew that I noticed she didn't answer my question. "Everyone and everything. Do not deign yourself to have importance beyond yourself."

I furrowed my brow. "I didn't ask for—"

"We do not ask for our destinies to seize us and yet it does all the same," she interrupted with a wry grin. She was enjoying this, toying "Live on, endure this apocalypse, and still you will have yet to have found yours, little Ranger."

"What do you know of my destiny?" I asked, indignant energy swelling in my chest. "I got where I did through hard work. Hard work and the sacrifice of the very friends you returned to me today." I shook my head. "Destiny is not written, it can't be. We make our own future. We make our own path."

"It is our destruction and our salvation. The instrument of universal vengeance." She grimaced. "The ending of our cycle of death and rebirth." The Elite glanced at me warily. "But perhaps the breaking of that cycle is too much a burden to place on one so young."

The rooftop dissolved until we were floating in open space. I could see vague shapes floating in the dark, malevolent shadows and twisted spectres. I opened my mouth to speak, but the strange darkness swallowed my voice. She knew something, some terrible truth about me and my future.

"The mortal plane calls you back, child." She crumbled away until only her crooked grin was visible. "Go now… go and play your part in the war to come."

Then she was gone and I felt my heart pound again in my chest. I sucked in a breath and felt a comforting warmth banish the chill of death. I was back on the roof in Saffron, laying in a puddle of my own blood.

"He's alive," said man's cold voice from nearby. "though I can't do any more for him."

Someone was there, taking my hand. I felt her press her ear to my chest and felt her shaky breath as she listened to my heart.

"Thank you," she said in a muted tone. She lifted her head off me and held tight to my hand. "Thank you," she repeated in a stronger voice.

"Janie?" I croaked. I forced the words out, forced my eyes open as if death might grab hold of me again if I were to close them. "You… you're here…"

She wrapped her arms around me in a crushing embrace. I felt her sob and knew that I would pay later for the use of the pet name. "You big, brave, reckless idiot," she said between sobs. "you're alive."

I nodded in confirmation. Whatever that had been, I was alive. I squeezed her back with all the meagre strength I had and tried to make sense of it all. "How?"

She pulled back and gestured over at The man on the roof behind her. "Him," she replied.

I looked over and felt a warm sense of relief come over me. "Elias?" I asked as the older trainer looked down at me. "You made it out."

Elias nodded back at me. "Thanks to your porygon," he replied. "Damn computer locked down half the building, started turning environmental systems on the Rockets. Most of us got out through the service tunnels and scattered into the city."

I slumped back against the roof as Janine let me down. "Good porygon," I said with an exhausted sigh.

Then my mind flashed to the reason I'd been falling from the forty-sixth floor of the tower. "We have to get back up there," I said. "Leaf and Gemma are alone…" I went silent and my heart pounded in my chest. They were alone against the thing that had dismantled me in seconds.

"What?" Janine asked. She knew. She knew something had me scared. "Marcus, what is it?"

"They have a cyborg," I said, my mind still having trouble processing the absurdity of everything I had just experienced. "something straight out of a shitty sci-fi flick."

Janine glanced over at Elias as if she was looking for assurance from him. He simply shrugged and looked up at the burning top of Silph Tower.

"Leaf and Gemma aren't a match for it," I continued breathlessly. I tried to brace and force myself up. There just wasn't time to sit around. "We have to—"

My knee buckled and I fell back, groaning in pain. I crashed down and lay helplessly on the blood soaked gravel.

"You aren't going anywhere," Janine said, crouching down to my level and softening her voice. "you're sitting this one out, Ranger."

I shook his head. I couldn't leave my pokemon, let alone my friends. "Luna… Curie…" I glanced up at the tower, trying and failing to catch my breath. "Up there."

She nodded softly. "I'll help them," she replied. "you need a medic."

I shook my head again. "Need to—"

She silenced me with a furious kiss. I melted into her and held my Janine as tightly as I could. It ended a moment later, even though the moment had felt like an eternity.

We separated and she gave me a hard stare. "You need a medic," she repeated. "I'll go, I'll stop them."

Elias was at her side, looking down at me with sympathy. "We'll stay with him, make sure he gets a medic." He hesitated and then nodded to her. "He'll be alright."

Janine nodded and looked down at me. I felt a pit grow in my stomach. I was practically useless. I'd lost and now Janine was going to fight a battle I couldn't.

"Don't die," I warned. I locked eyes with her. I knew she was a better fighter than me, but she had limits that the cyborg simply didn't. "this thing is stronger than most pokemon."

"So am I," she replied. She flashed me her most confident grin and I fought the flutter in my chest. "Cyborg or not, I'm a badass. I've got this."

She turned away, returning her ariados to her ball and fiddling with her gear. She didn't look back at me and pocketed her gear. Janine soared through the air with a telekinesis assisted leap, landing deftly atop her venomoth.

Janine stopped and looked down at the three of us. Her jaw was set and her stature poised. She looked every part the Leader she had always been destined to become. "Get him to a healer," she ordered.

I met her eyes for only a moment. She looked away before the tears could start. Then she was gone, rocketing towards the Tower faster than I'd fallen from it.

Elias grabbed me under my arm, hauling me up to my feet. "Let's go," he said.

"Hold on," I mumbled in reply. I intently watched her separate from Shimmer and sail through one of the broken windows.

I looked back at Elias as my girlfriend disappeared into the fight of her life. "Now we can go."

---

We burst out of the stairwell onto the street. Elias was at my back, the Kalosian woman lagging a few steps behind. Three soldiers turned from their positions in the alley before us, attempting to bring their weapons to bear.

Elias' scizor moved so quickly it was a bloody blur. I was horribly reminded of the abomination that had killed Vector, and the quick work he made of the soldiers did little to dispel that mental image.

"The courtyard," I began, averting my eyes. "Surge will be making for the tower."

"And we will be finding medical attention," replied Elias. "Preferably, in the opposite direction."

I shook my head as an explosion punctuated his sentence. "No. They need our help. This city, these people… they need us." He met my eyes and saw me pleading. "We need everyone to do everything they can. Or else we lose… all of us."

The older trainer looked at me carefully. "We promised that you'd be getting medical attention."

"And I will be. Surge will have better healers than anyone else in this city."

A beam of violet light erupted from somewhere to the east. It arced into the sky, splitting and sweeping down into a dome once it cleared the peaks of the towers.

Elias went as pale as his hair. "We've got to take cover," he said frantically. "That's Sabrina. She wouldn't have used the shield unless…"

"It's here," I said. "Giovanni's creation…" I knew by the pit forming in my stomach. It was fear, some unbidden instinct buried deep inside my psyche. "We're out of time."

Elias looked over at me. "Then—"

The world erupted into motion. I felt my stomach drop as the entire city plunged deep into a crater that hadn't been there moments before. I grabbed onto the building beside me and simply prayed that it would stop. I was vaguely aware of Elias and the woman pressing themselves into the building beside me.

A deafening crash at my side sparked movement from our little group. I ran for all I was worth as the building on the other side of the alley shook itself to pieces. I didn't have time to care about anything other than survival.

A final titanic heave of the earth catapulted me forwards and out of the alley. I rolled with the momentum, putting as much distance between the falling rubble and myself as possible.

Elias was somewhere to my left, coughing on the billowing clouds of dust. Movement somewhere behind me, accompanied by foreign cursing, told me that the Kalosian had survived as well.

The city seemed to be wracked by pain. Entire buildings came crashing down, completely blocking the few streets that hadn't been barricaded by the KNA. The sound of falling rubble simply took over the city, drowning out the fighting.

Then there was silence. It all stopped, all the fighting, all the violent noise. Only the distant rumbling of settling earth gave any proof that the world still went on. Dust and smoke rose into the sky, a giant plume that obscured the tops of the few buildings that remained standing. The sky was simply gone and the faint red glow of the fires burning reflected off the billowing black clouds.

I could see the sloping walls of the crater, smouldering trees and underbrush tumbling down the steep incline. It took me a moment to register what I was seeing. Then it hit me. Saffron wasn't at sea level anymore. Saffron City had been plunged into the earth's crust, only surviving thanks to Sabrina's shield.

The gunfire restarted as though the entire city hadn't just been spiked into the earth's crust, shocking me into motion. I slammed into cover beside Elias, surveying the battlefield.

The KNA still held the building itself. They were holed up in the first couple of floors, firing positions still manned by rifle squads. Heavier weaponry thudded out from gun emplacements that had been wheeled into the bombed out husk of Silph's ground floor.

There were several mortars clustered together in the centre of the courtyard, frantically defended by a few riflemen that were besieged from all directions. I watched one of them load a mortar and send it skyward.

The mortar shell's momentum died well short of where it should have. It stalled and slowed in the air before plummeting back down to its origin.

The shell exploded, igniting a cascade of fire and sound as explosions rippled through the mortar position. In moments, all three tubes were burning wrecks that flung chunks of burning slag and shrapnel in haphazard directions.

"Surge," I commented breathlessly. "It's the —"

Surge and his magnezone made their entrance a moment later. A wall of metal shrapnel that had been dragged into a dome exploded outwards. Surge's magnezone launched over the field, buzzing with an intense frequency that shook my eyes in my head.

"Now!" I roared. Surge was here, this was the final push. We had to fight.

I vaulted over the car, the adrenaline coursing through me all that was keeping me running. I fought the exhaustion in my limbs as my hand dropped to my belt.

Artemis tensed up and leapt into the sky. I watched several of Silph's defenders point their weapons skyward as my aerodactyl roared to announce herself.

A yellow blur dove into the Silph Tower, tearing even more attention away from our charge and sowing chaos in the ranks of soldiers. Blue-white lightning erupted from the little pikachu, dropping the surrounding soldiers into twitching piles.

I slammed into cover in the ruined mortar position. Then I heard it. Flare's deafening roar shook me to my bones. Then I felt the heat of a former Champion's presence.

A gout of flame smote the building, immolating those who hadn't yet taken cover. Even crouched behind cover and nearly fifty feet away, I felt as if the fire was burning inches away from me.

A deluge of water doused the fire before it could take hold, disorienting the already disorganized defenders. I saw white lightning erupt again within the building and saw the opening. We'd forced ourselves an opportunity and it was paying dividends.

Two charizard swooped down, landing right at the front doors of the Tower. Their riders leapt off, flashes of red light forming into Red and Oak's teams.

I ran for the building, ignoring the sparse return fire that was focused on Surge's magnezone. He'd drawn the attention so that the rest of us could close in and use our pokemon in close.

"Oak!" I shouted.

He turned and spotted me, ducking behind cover as his charizard bathed a gun emplacement in flame until it was a melted piece of slag.

"Marcus," he breathed. "you're alive."

"Barely," I replied. "things could definitely be going—"

"Where's Leaf?" Red interrupted.

"Top of the tower," I replied quickly. "Janine is with her."

Red whistled once, ignoring me. He leapt onto his charizard's back and launched skyward. I saw a pidgeot with two riders flap madly into the sky after him.

Oak produced a pair of balls from his coat, pressing them into my waiting hands. "I brought along Acolyte and Savage. Thought you'd need your team."

Acolyte was out immediately. The gunfire tensed his muscles, though I had the feeling he'd seen some action back at Pallet town.

"They hit the lab hard. Delia is…"

I nodded. "And Red?"

Oak's scowl said it all. "He's taking it hard. They never got to talk after he stormed out the other night."

I frowned. Red was important. Doubly so, if Oak's theory that he and Ash were multiversal counterparts had any weight to it. We needed him to play his part.

A bullet ricochet at my side brought me back to the situation at hand. My hand dropped to my belt, and I hesitated. Savage wasn't trained yet and I didn't know if Agatha had opened the gates of hell for Pride and Vector.

I didn't have the option of letting him out here. He'd only cause more trouble. So I moved alone with Acolyte, taking up the weapon of a fallen soldier as we entered the building.

One soldier scrambled to his feet as I entered the building, trying to ready his weapon. I peppered him with bullets, putting a stop to his attempt.

Acolyte brained another soldier struggling to his feet. I glanced at him and nodded. It was grim and grisly work but it needed to be done. Together, we combed through the building, dispatching the few KNA soldiers that remained.

I swept into an empty room, checking the corners as I cleared the piles of rubble. Movement drew my eye and I trained my rifle on the groaning soldier. He was trapped under a pile of rubble, trapped face down with the lower half of his body buried.

"Don't," I ordered as he scrambled to reach for a fallen pistol that was buried under the rubble with him. "You're hurt too badly. Just surrender."

He rolled and I saw the raw hatred on his face. Then it hit me that I recognized him. "Marcus," said John Kurtsson. "Figures that I'd find you here. You always were good at popping up amidst chaos on the wrong side."

"You're hurt," I said. John and I had never gotten along in Yucca. First, he'd resented me for my easy rapport with Sarah Walker, then it had turned to cold hatred when the secret of my training had come out. Despite that, he was injured and helpless and in no shape to fight. I lowered the barrel of my weapon and looked down at a man that could have been a mirror image of myself had I walked a different path. "Surrender so I can provide you first aid."

"No," he replied shortly. "You don't deserve that. You don't deserve my thanks or my praise for sparing me. Not after everything you did to Yucca. Not after what you did to your family."

He tried to reach for his weapon again. It was trapped against his leg, under the rubble.

I shook my head and sighed. "For more reasons than you could know, that's true." I set the rifle down and kneeled beside the young man. He wasn't much older than myself, but while I had the height and reach he had always been smaller and stockier. "I failed my family before, but I'm fighting now to protect them. All of them. Everyone back at Yucca, everyone I've met since I left…" I trailed off and my mind flashed with the faces of those I'd lost. Reyes and Wertz, Lori, Lady Anzu… Pa and Ma might have joined them if the visible destruction of the forests around Saffron extended far enough.

My heart stopped at the thought. Home could be gone. Hone could be gone and I never went back. I pushed away the tears. Yucca needed me to be strong, if Yucca even existed anymore.

Rocket had done this too. Giovanni had torn apart a community and pitted its prodigal sons against each other. We should have been standing side by side, not him laying prone at my feet. Instead, I'd left Yucca Village behind and joined the Rangers. Maybe if I had stayed and taught my family about pokemon, a kid like John wouldn't have been scooped up by the KNA, wouldn't have been scooped up by this godforsaken war. Shame washed over me as I realized that his fate mirrored mine.

"I'm sorry, John. I'm so sorry."

He looked up in confusion. "The fuck do you have to be sorry for?"

I looked around at the room. It had been a waiting room before, or an office. It wasn't exactly clear anymore, and the rubble made it hard to discern what the room had been used for. It sank in as I considered it. None of it mattered. Not this battle, not the two of us, not everyone that had died here. "Someone is pitting Kanto against itself. Someone orchestrated all of this just to create powerful trainers."

"Lucky you," John replied. "Is this one of the benefits of being one of those trainers, you get to gloat over me after the battle?" He looked away from me and continued to work at getting his weapon free.

I shook my head. "If you think this is gloating…"I trailed off and looked down at him. He was hurt. Badly enough that he wasn't going to make it unless he let me help him find a medic. "John… you need help. You need—"

"You already killed the other 4 men in my fireteam," he spat as he looked up at me. "I'll be paralyzed for life if I even survive this. Finish your work." He looked me up and down with a sneer. "Do your duty."

I stood there in silence for a long moment. I shook my head as his ragged breaths rang in my ears. "This isn't what I wanted…" I looked away, gazing out at the burning plaza outside the building. "This isn't duty."

I turned back to face him. "We both swore to protect Kanto," I said solemnly. "We swore to protect those we love. We should be on the same side."

His face hardened. "We were never going to be on the same side, Marcus. You fell in with a bunch of mon humpers and went off to play hero. The rest of us had to live in the mess you left behind." He scowled and looked me up and down with disdain. "Not all of us got to run away from our problems."

I scowled. He was trying to push my buttons. John had always been rather good at that. He'd revelled in my reactions when I finally blew my top. "I don't want this," I repeated. "I don't want to be a hero if this is the cost."

He looked me up and down. "Don't kid yourself, Marcus. You're right at home in the spotlight. You always were, even despite the humble act." He shook his head and coughed up a glob of blood. "Play your part, hero. Do your duty or at the very least, let me die playing mine."

He finally wrenched his pistol free of the rubble trapping his legs and tried to draw it on me. I reacted on instinct. The rifle barked three times, hitting John twice in the chest and a third time in the throat. I stood in silence, the gunshots ringing in my ears.

Acolyte touched my back a moment later. He was there at my side. His club was held at the ready just in case, offering me a source of strength in a moment of solemn weakness.

"Thanks, bud," I said blankly. "He just… he didn't give me a choice."

The rifle sagged in my hands and I let it fall to the floor. I didn't want it anymore. I didn't want to fight this battle, this endless war. My fists clenched tightly. We had to do better than blindly following Giovanni's path to destruction.

The gunfire died as the explosions outside slowed to a halt, and I slowly picked my way through the building. I passed rooms full of slain combatants, people and pokemon all felled by the pointless war we'd been fighting. My weapons were gone, no, purposely left behind. I didn't want them anymore.

I emerged to carnage. The square was a bombed out husk, with the wreckage of gun emplacements belching black smoke into the red and sullen sky.

The deafening roar of a chopper overhead drew the gaze of everyone. A heavy, oblong cube swung below the helicopter, descending towards the ground haphazardly. An oblong device that seemed oddly familiar.

I glanced around. People were taking notice of the chopper but nobody seemed urgent about it. No gunfire greeted it, nor did any of Surge's pokemon. Then the cube below it dropped suddenly to the ground. It whirred and buzzed for a small moment, before a flash of light from my belt drew my attention away.

Savage was out, growling furiously. He rounded on me, clacking his claws against the floor impatiently.

"Savage, no—"

The tone was shrill and harsh. It burrowed into my brain, forcing me to double over and cover my ears. My efforts did nothing to calm the pain the tone brought with it.

Then I looked up and horror washed over me. I'd seen the cube that the chopper had dropped before. I'd seen them in Fuchsia, when the half evolved dragon had attacked Wertz and I. It was an evolution machine, and we were all in some very very big trouble.

The light enveloped my tyrunt, and he tossed his head back with a deepening roar. He grew taller, taller than even Empress had been, and longer than I thought possible. He brushed up against the building and stumbled a few titanic steps backwards.

The light around him faded and my tyrantrum looked down at me hungrily. He tossed back his head and let out a prehistoric roar that shook the ground I stood upon.

I planted my feet, Acolyte readying his club at my side. I was a pokemon trainer. And I would tame this pokemon.

---

Intermediate Trainer KT#07996101

Indigo Ranger Corps, Special Task Group, "Zapdos" Squad,

Corporal SN# 109-512-6591, Marcus Wright, current team:

Luna, Ninetales

Artemis, Aerodactyl

Two, Porygon-2

Curie, Chansey

Savage, Tyrunt

---

INDIGO ALERT — LEGEND-CLASS THREAT IMMINENT. ALL INDIGO TRAINERS ARE ENLISTED IN CIVIL DEFENCE. ALL TRAINERS ARE TO REPORT TO THE NEAREST POKEMON CENTRE FOR IMMEDIATE TELEPORT.

---

Another mental health update. I'm still around. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression. I took my sweet time getting this update out. Love you all, you guys are the best readers ever.

 

[Meridian]

alrighty, live-react time
I was pretty dang excited to see I rolled a journeyfic in the catnip, and when I saw the content warnings I was also excited because it reminded me of my fav journeyfic (gods and demons series by Keleri)

I will say, I think the thread title could use work. the noun 'journey' is used A LOT in the fandom, and searching for "pokemon fanfic journey" might not return your fic from results. It could help to have the thread title be "Journey - Death of Duty"
I think you may also want to use the tagging system on the forums, and use some common journeyfic tags.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to what I'm skimming from the update notes

Spoiler: part 1 - the novice

There was no noise of the crowd, no searing lights for the cameras, just an old loudspeaker that crackled and fizzed as it spat out its call.

Boulder

the first thing my eyes noticed when I started to read was a mixture of the Oak quote and also "challenger to the field".
The quote made me expect that this might go into the whole "we start a pokemon journeyfic with a whole chapter dedicated to the trainer receiving their starter from the professor" schtick. it's a solid trope, but it's been heavily tread ground

SO you had my attention seeing this move immediately into the first gym battle!
I had to go back to the chapter title and see "boulder" to contextualize things, and that made some sense of things!
there's no crowd because this is a 1 badge gym battle, and someone's first

'd blown through every scrap of my meagre savings and then more than half a starter training loan in pursuit of this dream.

oh wow you're going GRITTY with the worldbuilding here about league challenges, I'm assuming the protagonist is late teens early 20s then given the whole bit about the father wanting him to take over a family farm, especially a small town... and a controlling parent.
I know a little of that nightmare, so you've got your dreaded writer's hooks into me already.
It does also make me wonder from personal pov if the protagonist is queer, or just wants independence. I'm a little curious, but dont need him to be gay, asexual, or otherwise to enjoy this fic.
I'm definitely wondering if the edginess cropped up here, as it's a little edgy but shows the protagonist has something to lose (his pride, agency and self-determination, etc)

Yucca village was a small farming community, not even on most maps unless you bought a local regional map from the northern gate of Saffron City and managed to find the smallest dot on it.

ooogh damn Marcus.
I think that's a good way of establishing how out of the way Yucca Village is.
I'm curious what made you go with Yucca. I grew up in Arizona, so it's not an unfamiliar plant to me, but I also wasn't expecting to see it in a pokemon fic. it's clever, and I do think it should be used more.
I think the nobody new ever came, nobody ever left bit may be hyperbole, but it fits the character's worldview I expect, and also reminds me of FLCL's narration by the protagonist about how it's a dead-end town where nothing interesting happens

. I was surprised by the few spectators in the stands clapping for me.

yooo!! there are people in the stands! and they respect you politely!
geez Marcus, you've got some self-loathing / baggage about your hometown.
And painfully aware of how hard it is to get into the spotlight

for my own sense of selfish pride and vindication. I wanted some record of the validation that I was looking for.

ahhh I see the edge. fitting character perspective tho

The battlefield was a mess of rocks and sandy dunes, with a single massive rock that had been hollowed out serving as the arena's centrepiece. Many a challenger had attempted to use the hollow network of tunnels and chambers to their advantage and found themselves outclassed by an enemy that knew every corner of the arena as if it were their homes.

haha yeah, if you dont get time to familiarize yourself with the battlefield, you should probably assume the gym leader's mons already know it better than you.
Marcus has good insights already as a gym challenger!

and yo!! he really has been studying. I think this gives a bit of characterization that makes him not just cocky and determined to prove something... without anything to back it up. he has a shot at it!

I was a novice, but that didn't mean I was an idiot. I'd watched enough of Brock's battles to know his basic tactics. I'd devoured the footage of every single novice challenge to Brock that I'd been able to find. He liked to play direct, while he heckled you to keep you off balance.

Brock was an elite-level trainer, one of Kanto's Gym Leaders. He'd been Pewter's Leader for almost fifteen years, after his father before him. He was a powerful trainer, placing in the top twenty in last year's Pokemon World Tournament and consistently rating in the top five of Indigo's combined circuit.

He was also the traditional first gym of the Kanto gym circuit, a bar that every serious Kantoan trainer had to clear. Maybe Erika would have been an easier first gym challenge for me, but it was probably better if I got Brock out of the way early on. He had a reputation of being one of the tougher intermediate and elite gym challenges.

oooh this is good characterization for Brock, and eeeee you're doing the whole "gym trainers can choose the order of gyms they challenge" league lore!!
adore you as a pokefic writer already
oh, and hey, challenger is able to use as many pokemon available to them, and only two swaps. I'm used to seeing limited swaps + limited mons to be fielded.

Brock could have a cocky smirk from me once I'd earned one.

ahhh is that where the smirk got removed?

y starter appeared in a flash of red light. A little vulpine pokemon growled menacingly at the rock opposite it, flaring her tails aggressively.

Our month spent making agonizingly slow progress westward over the roughshod path that traversed Mount Moon had paid impressive dividends. A geodude should be no problem for her.

I do like the characterization about not letting people menace you, but oogh, a vulpix against a geodude. Aww Marcus, best of luck...
Also oogh on the starter loan, and getting a mon that requires an evo stone. A hefty loan just so you can later down the road pay $100 at the least in order for them to evolve, unless you get lucky and find one through a sidequest sorta scenario.
That said, I did initially count her out, the way you write about Luna's nice!

It had been my dream since the very first Indigo Conference I'd ever watched. So what if it had taken me longer than most trainers to start my journey? So what if I wasn't a fresh faced thirteen year old? I was ready now, there was no backing down.

ooh!! and further good characterization pointing towards Marcus being over the usual novice trainer age

"Alright Luna, lets get started. Confuse-wisp!"

I saw Brock's eyebrow raise from across the field. He hadn't expected a combo move, not from a novice like myself. Heck, I hadn't expected to have a combo move ready yet either but Luna was a tenacious learner and had proven me wrong to master the combo.

oh! combo moves, and overall moves outside of what's in the games, that gives a good indicator of what'll be in this fic.

regrettably gonna have to cut this off here. I dont wanna fail the deadline target, and I also didnt check the wordcount / pace myself better for scheduling when I'd be reading things.
Looking forward to when I get back to this in a day or two, will try and post further if I can.

 

[Meridian]

Spoiler: the rest nyohohoo

Luna needed to be perfect, and the geodude only had to land one solid blow. It was a recipe for disaster.

Oogh, but I think they've got it to sfar.

Hell, it wasn't even a particularly brave tactic.

Brave or not, a win is a win. A lot of these early battles are meant to show you can handle a wild mon at low level, and being able to outspeed, or dodge, or overall just do chip damage to down them is enough!

"Incinerate!" I shouted again. "Melt the sand in its path!"

Luna, bless her little soul, knew exactly what to do. She planted her feet as the geodude rounded the arena and bore down on her. She puffed her chest out and sucked in a quick breath. It wasn't as powerful as the last one, but the jet of flame that she spat was still enough to melt a patch of sand several feet wide into a pool of sludgy liquid glass.

The geodude plowed into the puddle, spewing globs of red hot magma in its wake.

"Leader Brock's first pokemon has been defeated. The challenger has taken the first round."

yoooo!!! that was nicely done. I was expecting Luna might make it into the big rock and turn it into one big kiln, but creating a molten glass path for Geodude's trajectory was spectacular!!

"Let's see how you handle Shale!"

She was a pale green, almost twelve feet long, with flecks of silver metal running through the boulders that made up her serpentine body.

Oh I LOVE that nickname
oh yoooooo. she's also green, a shiny?? and eeee serpentine for her form and the mineral!

It was common practice for Gym Leaders to use at least one pokemon that outclassed anything you could throw at it. Helped you think on your feet and formulate strategies that played to the strengths of your pokemon. It also made the Pokemon League into a true challenge that was not for the faint of heart.

nice furthered characterization of the league and battle circuit!
I think sometimes people run the risk of not wb'ing their league, and inadvertently forgetting that the pokemon league as an institution can itself be like a character.
through this and what you're doing in the rest of the chapter, you're painting a good mental image for me to vibe with and understand your setting better.

Unfortunately, my second pokemon didn't have many strengths for me to play to. She was nearly useless in battle, even when she did decide to listen to me. It was absolutely hopeless. She just didn't have a violent bone in her body. Even if she could have lifted things fifty times her size, she would never use that strength in a violent way.

But if I presented the battle as playtime? It could work to buy me some more time off the clock. Time that we didn't stand a chance in outright battle. Maybe it was a little unethical, but sometimes League battles involved sneaky technicalities.

"Play time, Curie!"

My two-foot tall, ball of pink joy materialized on the field and I felt our momentum come to a crashing halt as my precious happiny goo-gooed adorably at the terrifying onix.

oh jfc, Marcus is going to have a coquettish wall on his team throughout this.
fantastic!! one of my fav interactive fics (a forum adventure / 'quest') is "Journey of Two" a textventure on Sufficient Velocity where the protagonist has a dratini as her starter as a result of lucky bonding... and then picks up a dance-happy Chansey for her team

So I did the only thing I could. I blatantly lied to my little baby. I got down on one knee, looking down at Curie with a happy smile on my face. "Hey, Curie!" I shouted.

She looked up at the sound of my voice and started hopping happily at the sight of me. It melted my damn heart.

I pointed over at Shale, putting on my playful voice. "See that big mean looking onix?" I asked. "She wants to play!"

She puckered her lips and planted a sopping wet kiss on Shale's nose.

If it works, it works. ilu Marcus and Curie lmao
I didnt expect a "likely to be edgy here or there" journeyfic to have tooth-rotting cuteness moments like this. kudos for shaking up a first gym battle, against Brock like this.

Shale lashed out, flinging Curie across the arena with a flick of her tail. Curie bounced twice and came to a crashing halt against the hollow boulder in the centre of the arena.

I sucked in a sharp breath, fearing for nothing as my happiny bounced to the ground unharmed. She slumped to the floor and slammed her little feet with a furious tantrum as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

OUCH, and you sell the action well!
This has been a good change of pace with Curie, and then you shake it up again.

That had been the crux of my whole strategy. Neither Curie nor Luna had anywhere near the strength to bring down Shale. Our only hope at victory was a prayer that we could win on a technicality. If I could outlast Brock, run the clock out without Luna going down, then I would win the match. I still had two conscious pokemon to Brock's one. I would win by virtue of outlasting a titanic onix that I couldn't even scratch.

Frankly in a league-regulation match, securing a 1-over victory is clever.
Like, for a lot of reasons, but especially since this match isn't happening in a tournament with points or anything. It's perfect for the tier of play he's at.

"Confuse wisp!" I shouted.

Luna skidded to a halt, eerie wisps of burning ghostly light conjuring from nothingness. They spun off towards Shale as Luna dashed away from the Onix's descending tail. It slammed into the ground, throwing sand into the air with the impact.

I swore under my breath. Brock had covered his ass well and trained Shale very effectively. Luna was faster, but not by enough for me to get comfortable. The battle was going to come right down to the wire.

"Get clear!" I shouted. "Long range barrage now, confuse wisp!"

You do have me curious if this will work out. Given there's more chapters I expect as much, but I could see a loss and going off the gym challenge path out of desperation not to return home is a consideration.
I do like the "I just need to outspeed an Onix and not take damage" strat here. Going from a wall-stall to just barely stalling.

I think you've got writing battles down from this chapter, and I think you know how to both maintain and shake up the tempo of the battle!

Luna turned in a blur, weaving through the barrage of rocks that Shale was pitching at her with ease. She ducked and weaved, cutting and turning just in time to avoid each incoming rock. I felt my pride swell in my chest as my precious little vulpix motored at speeds that would have even impressed an agility boosted mon.

she does have good movement technique, noice

The horn blared and I exhaled the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. I unclenched my fists, breathing calmly as my heart pounded in my chest. It was over.

The referee's voice crackled over the loudspeakers, sounding sweeter than I had ever imagined a bored teen sounding. "After expiry of the timer, the challenger has two pokemon left to Leader Brock's one. Challenger Marcus Wright, of Yucca Village, has been declared the winner!"

My eyes found Luna and I didn't care to hide the tears of joy that fell freely. I was a trainer now. For real. And there wasn't a damn thing anybody could do to change that.

Very nicely done climax and denouement for this scene!!
Glad to see he pulled through, and didn't have to send Curie back out to avoid a draw.

Pokédex Entry #95: Onix

yooo, dex entries! this gives furthered juicy worldbuilding

Novice Trainer, KT#07966101, Marcus Wright

Luna, Vulpix

Curie, Happiny​

heads up, happiny is for some reason center text'd, I dont know if this happens for your later chapters as well but I did notice it.
I do like the trainer ID and party roster, I wonder if there'll be other trainers that join Marcus and get a similar billing at the end of the chapter

And finished, ty for your patience!

 

[tomatorade]

Hello there :0

Here for catnip, to read your very special episode.

I wonder how relevant this is to the main fic or vice-versa. I've not read a smidgeon of Journey nor have I heard much about it so I wasn't sure what to expect or whether I'd be missing something. Not that I really had any problems understanding anything, this ended up being suitably self-contained.

Evil Schemes

Damn Lance is with team rocket. Always knew there was something up with that man.

For the most part I liked the exposition here. That's a rare compliment given I normally don't like exposition at all, but it did often help ground me immediately in what I expected to be a fairly short piece. And the important stuff was still left up to me to figure out. specifically, all this hubbub around the stone tablet and whatever they're looking to do with it. Until it becomes relevant of course, but you build up some suspense here.

Did not expect cyborg Silver lol.

Giovanni is still clearly not a good guy. Lance was very rude so I was primed to wonder if this was one of those where he's a secretly good guy, but then Silver comes in and that's thrown out the window. I still like the way you write him, though. You humanise just enough to understand the mindset and understand his point of view at least as far as you can for a mob boss, but there's still enough distance.

With the amount that Giovanni thinks about Silver, methinks he's not as over it as he'd like us to believe. As a minor nitpick, I wonder if you spend too much time on Giovanni's thoughts about being a bad dad. I feel it might have more impact if it was slowly introduced through the second scene and finally confirmed at the end, in a bit of catharsis. Though it is a short scene, so there's not a lot of room--my problem is that we get to the heart of it a couple paragraphs in.

Returning to this after another read, it could almost be extended further. Getting a hint in this scene, but leaving Giovanni's feelings towards Silver a little more up in the air until later. I mean, even until he already has hoopa and has to decide what to do with it. Maybe that's a little late, but I do think that knowing Giovanni still loves his soon deep in his wrinkled raisin heart so early makes the subsequent revelations and his impromptu rescue plan feel less surprising and supenseful.

Interested in the depiction of Kalos. And the mention of Indigo. Implies G n' L are working in tandem with the government? I dunno. I get a sense of war and military vibes from how certain Lance is Kalos will commit war crimes on a child. A little bit later, it's sort of implied that Lance is just a rocket mole in the government, unless I'm reading too far into some stray bits of dialogue.

Also very subtle dig at Giovanni sacrificing his son's life. Stay classy.

A couple small nitpicks: First, you switch to Matori's perspective which is a little jarring considering everything else is Giovanni's. Might have been interesting to do the Second Lance-confronting-Giovanni scene from her perspective entirely but that's neither here not there. The second is that I don't like the blushing. it's worn on me the more i see it in fanfic and anime and it feels like a shortcut to indicating attraction that doesn't lend much depth or character on its own. Maybe it's just a me problem, I dunno. Fully reading the fic, it doesn't really go anywhere either. I'm not entirely sure it's actually meant to be a lill crush or not, but that's the subtext I usually read into this kind of blushing.

The hoopa capture scene is pretty great all around. The atmosphere is tense and the action is quick but descriptive enough to follow along. If I had any doubts that Giovanni was a very rude man before, they vanished here lol. He goes full villain here. The dark balls are interesting. I forget if pokemon's had something like them before. I do remember shadow pokemon, but don't remember whether that was the result of certain pokeballs. They certainly did not need mind chips to control their pokemon, that much I remember. He really is the elon musk of his time.

In general, I enjoy this kind of buildup. The episode itself is fairly straightforward, but in a way that you can anticipate. Each scene builds anothe stair upwards and promises a lot about GIovanni's future. Great little villain arc. I also appreciate that this feels like an older Giovanni. He's still arrogant, but it's clear his failure with mewtwo has made him more cautious as well. It's maybe a littel difficult to determine the extent of his villainy throughout. The issue might be a lack of clear goals besides rescue son and gain ultimate power.

Bro it's the multiverse. He's gonna make rainbow rocket.

Things are coming back around in a way I didn't expect. Giovanni's little flashback shines a lot of light on how he knew about hoopa in the first place. It also provides a fun(?) contrast to the last time he encountered Ash lol. Clever way to highlight how much power Hoopa has at its disposal. I guess at this point, I can only wonder what it's all for. It's a classic villain question but I have to wonder how Giovanni imagines the world under his control, because at the moment it's fairly vague.

I have to wonder what Giovanni expected. I understand the thrust of his assault on Diantha's mansion, but I kept expecting him giving up hoopa to be a trap somehow? It felt somewhat strange for him to commit an atrocity and then very casually give up hoopa with a little speech about the lengths one goes to for their children. The emotional difference is not huge between the two and I wasn't entirely convinced that he was surprised at the destruction he unleashed--it would work better for me with a moment of pause in teh immediate after to really take in the damage and feel the emotional weight that would cause someone to give up multidimensional power. As it stands, it's a little short and treated with a similar weight to him being brushed off by his son in the second scene. Also the way he leaves is fucked up. I get that she's french but that 'adieu' is not doing anything for you, Giovanni.

Another funny thing about this is that the whole time Giovanni was musing over his rescued son, I could not stop thinking about that terrorist attack he did. He's obviosly not a great guy, but I imagine he would have some thoughts about that after the fact. It distracted a little bit from emotions of the scene.

Oh shit it really is rainbow rocket, damn. That was a stray thought I had.

This whole thing kinda strikes me as an au of the main fic? Maybe? I know nothing about it so I could be very wrong but what I got from that end bit is a snapshot of another universe where Giovanni used the bottle to make his pride month villain team. Which also implies that maybe the previous one was also a different universe and not a flashback like I thought.

One thing I realy liked about this is that it was really a story about family. Having Silver be the main/side plot to all the scheming all world domination anchored the fic and gave it a complete arc in what would've otherwise might've been a somewhat disconnected mid-story chapter. For the most part it's well structured and paced and a very breezy read despite the general darkness of the world. I had a fun time!

Good job!

 

[icomeanon6]

Hey, here for Catnip!

This one sure came out swinging. I read the first two chapters, and I like the approach of having each of the two focus on one aspect of training and how much more brutal it is in your take on the setting—battling in ch. 1 and traversal in ch. 2.

It plowed into one of the hundred boulders dotting the arena and cracked the gigantic stone in half as easily as I could crack an egg.

I noticed the blood-smell in the first paragraph, but this is what really sells the physical stakes for me. I also really liked the portrayal of Charm, where the Onix is straight up like, "Awww, I don't wanna fight now."

My eager grin probably burned into Brock's mind permanently.

This one got me thinking. To me, it comes across as delusion of grandeur on the Marcus's part, but I'm not sure if that's what I'm supposed to take away. I'm left wondering if this in fact didn't leave much of an impression on Brock, who presumably is very used to giving trainers badges, or if it did leave a huge impression because this is just that big an upset, such that Brock would remember it indefinitely. Either way, it tells me something about Marcus, just not the same thing depending.

Humanity learned long ago what happened when you built towns right at the base of mountains. Some dumb-as-a-rock graveller would decide that it would be fun to use the shiny new town at the bottom of the hill as the finish line for their race.

This is a great detail. I'm a fan of all the ways you've roughened up the setting, especially the nuanced approach you've taken with humans eating Pokemon. Making vegetarianism a class thing, contrasting the ideal with the practical reality for people who need to eat what they can get their hands on, is great. Another thing I'm a fan of (with an asterisk) is the more old-fashioned don't-mess-with-fairies depiction of Clefairy.

The asterisk is that, to me at least, describing a Clefairy den as being absolutely covered in "scat and bones" is almost unavoidably funny, no matter what tone you're going for. Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% behind this creative decision, but it's impossible for me not to be all sickos-yes.jpg about it when this is Clefairy we're talking about. Guess what I'm trying to say is that it rocks, but if you want it to be genuinely scary or unnerving, that'll take something at the next gear in execution.

Not sure what to make of the brief scene between two (presumed) villains at the end of the chapter. I think the way they talk sounds a little too much like they know they need to keep things exactly vague enough for the readers.

One more thing I really liked:

I never saw it again.

Assuming Marcus does in fact never see the Sandshrew again, this works great as a matter-of-fact, "that's life" non-payoff to the setup. Good way to keep the readers guessing, and prime them to not take their predictions about the story to come for granted.

I notice from the changelog that you've gone back to edit out repetitive prose. I think there's still some here and there, such as this example that stuck out to me:

With a grim scowl, I lifted her ball off my belt and returned my happiny to her ball.

"her ball" twice in the same sentence like this feels redundant. I'd maybe shorten the end to "and recalled my happiny."

Sometime in the second chapter, I started to feel like the narration was torn between summarizing long-ago events and trying to put the reader in the moment. Here's an example of what I mean:

There was one time on the fourth day, where Luna came bounding back with her tails between her legs. She was limping slightly and blood was leaking from a wound on her left flank.

The way the first sentence starts, "There was one time on the fourth day," puts a lot of distance between the narration and the event, like the narrator is recounting an example as an aside. (This isn't a bad thing, mind, and is often exactly what a story calls for.) It then quickly jumps into more direct narration, though, making this the "present" moment of the story. Unexpected shifts in the the narrative "distance" of an event can be jarring for the reader, so I think this is something to look out for.

I spotted two sentences that appear to have gotten cut off:

I felt a pit in my stomach as the .

There weren't many other trainers taking the scenic route this early in the season, which .

I want to get this posted tonight, but if you're interested I can come back and add some more editing notes, or PM them to you later.

Tl;dr, this is an eye-catching start. There's a fine line between "giving the world of Pokemon some teeth, sickos-yes.jpg" and "trying too hard to make Pokemon darker," but I'd say from what I've read that this is on the side of the former. I really like the detailed, visceral battle and the thought that's gone into the setting. Thanks for putting this in for Catnip!