Pokémon Timeslip

[Nekodatta]

Spoiler: Author notes:

Happy almost new year! This chapter was... hard ahah. I didn't want to straight up skip the period of Arven being a toddler but on the other hand... writing really small babies is hard. Writing two new parents having a really small baby is even harder lol
There's both so many little moments that feels wrong to skip in those first couple of months and yet I had a lot of trouble in coming up with scenes featuring them.
There's probably going to be similar little time skips in the next couple chapters, so we can actually get to the part where Arven gets to be his own character, which I actually can't wait to write.

Chapter 36: Lamiaceae, part II​

The door of the laboratory suddenly opened, letting in the light of the day. Miguel let out an irritated caw and raised his head from under his wing, squinting in the bright sunlight. He had flown around the lighthouse the whole night, looking for sparkling treasure, and his human knew that he was usually sleeping at that time of the day, unless they had an important battle the next day, but that hadn't happened in a while.
In front of him was his human, Turo, who smiled bright: the Murkrow tilted his head, perplexed.
That was strange: at that hour of the morning, Turo usually spoke in grunts and single words, sipping that "coffee" he liked so much.
That was maybe why they got along so much.


« Hi Miguel. Sorry, I know you're usually sleeping right now... But this is important. I just got home from the hospital with Sada and Arven »


He was still smiling widely, and it was starting to creep Miguel out a a bit, but there were more important things. A word he didn't know.


« "Arven"? » he cawed, flapping his wings to land on Turo's shoulder as he walked out of the living room, and towards the bedroom of the two humans'new nest.
Turo raised one hand to pet his head feathers, and he crowed and affectionately pecked his earlobe.


« I want you and Ampere to meet him »


Ampere was already bopping up and down in the corridor, his companions vorticking around him. Miguel didn't really like them: he already had to accept a Pokémon with thunder as part of his flock, and now there were even more! Thankfully most of them, apart from those two, didn't look all that interested in him, simply staying around the lighthouse and not coming inside.


Turo took a moment to pet the three Magnemite in turn, and Miguel shifted on his shoulder, growing impatient.


What was this "Arven" he had to see? Was it a new team member? What Pokémon would it be? Hopefully not another thunder one... he wouldn't mind another bird, hovewer. Someone that could actually fly with him.


It was only when Turo entered the room where Sada was holding something in her arms that he realized that "Arven" was not another Pokémon but a tiny human. Well, "tiny" meant that it was still almost as big as him, but still quite small, for a human. Kim and Ötzi were already sitting near Sada, one on each side, eagerly raising their heads to try and get a peek at it.
Miguel's eyes widened, and he hopped from one of Turo's shoulders to the other, tilting his head sideways.


Human hatchlings were strange, Miguel thought as soon as he could see him; they looked completely different from adult humans. Little Murkrow looked exactly like he did as soon as they were born, only much smaller, obviously. And they were completely helpless!
The little hatchling from his human looked like it could't even do a simple Peck.
Then again, neither could his human, as an adult.


The little human was sleeping, his breath calm and steady; even as Sada was holding him thight, Miguel couldn't help but chirp a little in worry; it had no fur nor feathers, wasn't it cold? Near him, Kim grumbled in agreement, and made her fiery mane crackle a bit warmer.


« Here he is... Our little treasure. You will help look after him, will you? » Turo's hand came to scratch him under his wings, in one of his favourite spots, and Miguel closed his eyes and cawed happily.
He would. He could understand this. Hatchlings weren't sparkly, but they were still treasure.


---
It still didn't feel quite real to Turo every time he looked at Arven that this was truly his son. Everything felt surreal; until now, he and Sada had focused only on themselves, on how to adapt to their new life. But now, they had someone that was completely dependant on them; it was... both an incredibly exhilarating feeling and completely humbling.


« He... He doesn't cry much, does he? » he asked that afternoon as Arven had just fallen asleep with a big yawn after eating.


They were both currently in the bedroom, watching over him in the baby crib, and Turo couldn't help but anxiously hover over him.


« Is... Is that normal? What if it means there's something wrong...? » he asked.


Sada simply smiled and shook her head.


« He's fine, Turo. Babies cry when they need something, so it's a good sign, no? » she answered. He looked at her for a couple of moments, quietly wondering how she was feeling.


« Is this... Weird, for you? » he finally asked.


When she turned towards him with a blank expression, he hurried to add:


« I mean... It must have been so much more difficult in your time... how did you even...» he said, looking back down at Arven. He wondered what would have happened if, somehow, he had been born while Sada was still back in the Paleolithic... just the thought of all the dangers he would have to brave and be exposed to was chilling.


It took Sada a couple of moments to answer.


« Well, it is... reassuring, to be here, in a way. I don't have to worry about wild Pokémon attacks, sure... but honestly, at the moment it just makes my mind focus even more on everything else that could be going wrong.» she answered with a bit of a tired smile, sitting down on the bed. He copied her, the mattress dipping slightly under both their weight, and for a moment they both simply stared at the sleeping form of the baby inside the crib.


« Let's just take it one day at a time.» he whispered as Sada let her head drop on his shoulder with a sigh.


« Yes. One day at a time. Just like that time in Area Zero.» she answered.


« At least we're not gathering rainwater in cups to survive this time.» he mumbled, and she laughed.


---
During the late afternoon, right as Arven had woken up and Sada had picked him up in her arms, the bell rang suddenly. They shared a look, Turo raising one eyebrow as he shrugged.


« Clavell said something about wanting to visit yesterday, it's probably him?» he said, heading towards the door. Sada followed, Arven in her arms as Kim traced her every step, eyes fixed on the baby like it was her own newborn Litleo.


« Where's Sada's little precious baby?!»
Raifort's voice rang from the entrance, and Sada walked into the corridor just in time to see the woman completely ignore Turo at the door to head towards her with a radiant smile. Jacq and Turo shared a glance and a sigh, while Clavell just shook his head with a smile, his Oranguru holding a small mountain of packages floating in midair with a Psychic. Turo closed the door behind everyone and frowned slightly, following the group and Sada in the living room.


« ... It's kind of my baby too, you know.» Turo mumbled as he opened a cabinet to grab some snacks and anything they could offer to drink. Sada noticed with a bit of an amused smirk that Raifort immediately sat down beside her on the couch, stealing Turo's usual spot.


Turo immediately noticed, but just rolled his eyes and sat down on the opposite couch near Clavell. Jacq hovered near a sofa for a moment before sitting down, immediately bumping the little table in the middle with his knee and hissing in pain. Sada had never met someone even clumsier than Turo before getting to know the young scientist, and Jacq reminded her a bit adorably of the first few times she and Turo had met. He had that same air of being so focused on his interests to the point of not really being aware of his own surroundings, or even his own body.


Clavell's Oranguru carefully floated the packages down on the table and stood aside, where he was quickly approached by both hers and Turo's Pokémon. Sada took a long, deep breath, as everyone turned towards her. Or more accurately, to Arven.


This was... Really nice, and somewhat nostalgic. A little, cozy space filled with people, all because of the newborn child in her arms, blissfully unaware at being the center of so much attention.


« He's so cute... He has your eyes, Sada» Clavell commented, peering at him for a long moment.


« Actually » Jacq piped up «All babies have clear eyes at first, it's even shown in some newborn baby Pokemon, interestingly enough... » he started to sputter as everyone turned to him.
« But... Yes... Really cute! Can I hold him? »
« I want to hold him first! »


Sada had no idea if Clavell had said so as a pure coincidence or if he had noticed the way both she and Turo's eyes had widened slightly in alarm, but she carefully passed the baby in his arms with a small sigh of relief. Not that she didn't trust Jacq, but... he could be a bit...


She quietly observed Clavell as he sat down with Arven in his arms, smiling not unlike it was his own son. She realized right now that Clavell, despite being a good decade older than both her and Turo, had never married nor had children. For a brief moment, she wondered if that was why he enjoyed his work as an Academy teacher so much.


She was distracted by his Oranguru floating the first package right into her lap.


« Oh! Thank you! » she smiled at the Pokemon, then opened the little wrapped present.
« That one's from me. » Raifort whispered, and Sada's eyes widened when she opened it up.
It was a brightly coloured book titled "Paldean goodnight fables for children", filled with beautiful illustrations of traditional children stories.
« It's beautiful... He's going to love it, I'm sure.» she whispered in response, peeking at some of the pages with wide eyes.
« Something tells me you're going to enjoy it more than him before he's big enough to actually understand it. » Raifort cackled, and she blushed. Well.... yes, probably...
« And here I was, expecting you to come over with some book titled "The downfall of the Paldean Empire for kids age 0-3" » Turo deadpanned, before raising one eyebrow with a puzzled look. Probably wondering if that was actually a thing. Raifort stuck out her tongue at him, and he chuckled.
« Oh! Open mine now! » Jacq said enthusiastically, and a second little packet floated in front of her. This one clinked slightly as it did so, and Sada's eyebrows raised as she opened it, curious.
She saw Turo lean slightly forward to also peer at it, interested.
It was a baby mobile, the kind you hang over the baby's crib and that the baby could play with or that would jingle and make little noises. This one featured little cute figures of Pokémon found all over Paldea: the mobile itself was in the shape of a Toadscruel, with each leg extending to support a different Pokémon. A Palafin, a Maschiff, a Kilowattrel, a Cyclizar and a Grafaiai, each one in a different, bright color.


« This brand is amazing, you can detach each little Pokémon and buy other ones separately! This way he will never get bored having to always look at the same ones, you know? And he can also learn about Paldean Pokémon! » Jacq explained as he stood up, gesturing excitedly.


Sada had the distinct feeling that somewhere on Jacq's laptop was a spreadsheet with the pro and cons of each single Pokémon carefully written down, and she smiled brightly at the idea of him carefully analyzing which Pokémon to pick .


« Thank you Jacq, really. » she said, earnest. Turo simply nodded, but she noticed that he was keeping his head down, his eyes a bit damp. Silent,he just put one hand on Jacq's shoulder and mouthed a "thanks".


The researcher scratched the back of his head, embarrassed.


« Ah, it's nothing, really...»


Finally it was Clavell's turn, and the last couple of packages got carefully placed on her lap.
Sada opened them one by one, laughing when she saw the content.


It was that Fidough onesie they had seen in that magazine months ago, and a small collection of many more, all Pokémon themed.


« These are way too much, Clavell, you really didn't have to...» she said; she picked up a little pajama with Smoliv prints, laughing at Turo's furrowed eyebrows in seeing the Pokémon.


« If he grows up and decides to get a Smoliv, I will hold you accountable.» he murmured, to which Clavell simply smiled. In his arms, Arven stirred slightly.


« But you wouldn't object to it? » he replied, to which Turo just mumbled something unintelligible and looked away.


Sada smiled, simply enjoying the flow of the conversation as it went on. She appreciated that neither of them had mentioned anything about hers or Turo's relatives, or complete lack thereof.


In the hospital, she hadn't missed how the nurses had looked at her weirdly - almost pityingly - when there hadn't been the usual stream of visiting relatives or grandparents excited to see their grandson.


But this... this was nice.


---
The first weeks of being a parent were both exactly how Turo had always thought about them or seen them depicted in media and yet nothing like it. Movies and stories from other parents always talked about the sleepless nights, the waking up multiple times during the night, the constant feeling of tiredness, and they were somewhat right... And yet there was so much more. Yes, he would wake up along Sada when Arven needed to be fed, or take turns with her letting him fall asleep so they each could just crash on the couch for half an hour. But he found himself noticing the smallest little details about his son, and usually the stories didn't mention anything about that. Like the fact that Arven barely cried; maybe it was because at the moment, he was still so small that he had no reason to cry expect when he was hungry, like Sada had said. But part of the reason was probably because both his and Sada's Pokemon seemed to come running and warn them before he even started to cry. It was an enormous help, and something that had honestly surprised him.
He had woken up more than one time in the middle of the night just to see Miguel perched on one angle of the baby crib, watching Arven with his red eyes almost glowing in the dark.
Ampere and his two companions usually hovered around the baby monitor; when the slightest signal would come out of it, the three Magnemite would fly off each in a different direction looking for him. It was convenient enough that Turo hoped that their evolution into Magneton, which looked very close judging by how close they always were now, would get delayed just a little bit more so that they could still split up to come search for him faster.
And because Magneton supposedly fried electronics just by standing near it, which would be... inconvenient.
Hopefully they could be trained to regulate the radio waves they emitted, or he would have to forbid them from entering the laboratory once it happened.
Arven had started babbling the last couple of days. The first time he heard it, Turo's heart had skipped a beat, thinking he was already going to speak his first words.
But that looked still a good bit away, according to their pediatrician. But babbling was a sign that the baby was starting to connect words with meaning and trying to copy them, so talking to them a lot was encouraged.
So that's what he did.
« There's still some bugs to iron out in the Tera sensors, and of course I need to simplify the code so that it can hopefully run on much smaller devices than the ones we use now... Best thing would be if it came installed on Jacq's Pokédex application, what do you say?» he said, sitting in the kitchen as he stared at the screen of his laptop. Arven was reclining in a baby chair, positioned high enough that he was eye level with him, and looked busy examining his own fingers by sticking them in his mouth.
« Ga-gga-»
Turo smiled a little.
« Exactly.»
He felt a bit silly pointing dramatically at random and going "Look! Ball!!" to a toddler, so Turo found himself mostly just talking out loud, like he would have done with his own Pokémon, enunciating every word clearly and watching Arven's reaction.
Every time the baby smiled in response or stared at him, listening intently to his every word and gesture, his heart soared with pride.
---
Days passed as Sada settled into her new routine. When Arven slept during the day, she would either lay down and nap herself, exhausted, or slowly keep working on her research. She and Turo were finishing drafting the official patent for the first version of the Tera Orb, who's prototype was finally completed. This one could terastallize a Pokémon for a couple of minutes. Not enough to change their type indefinitely like it seemed to happen with wild Pokémon, but enough for a quick battle.
« If we pitch this to the Paldean Pokémon League, I'm sure they would be interested. This way Paldea could have their own unique battle mechanic, like Galar with Dynamax battles, or Alola with their Z crystals.» Turo said as he pointed the Tera Orb towards Ampere.
They were both in the laboratory, Arven asleep in a second baby crib they had bought and placed near their desks so they could always be nearby as he slept.
Sada simply hummed in thought, moving to watch what would happen.


« ... and would that be enough to make them finance an expedition into Area Zero? Maybe not completely , but between them, and Blair, and... other people if our other research gets noticed...» she glanced at Bacon, who was wiggling his nose and eating a pile of berries.
She wanted to train him to prove her idea about Steady Glaciers -or Mamoswine, as they were called in this era -, but that would take some time until he would be strong enough to evolve, which also meant their Gym challenge would have to slow down.
At least they could still take turns in challenging each Gym like they had done until now, just at a more leisurely pace.
The Magnemite buzzed curiously as the light enveloped him: his two companions quickly strayed away, surprised, hiding behind Turo.
A moment later, Ampere slammed to the ground; it buzzed in alarm, his one eye widening as it awkwardly propped itself up with its two magnets.
Turo's eyes widened, and he crouched near the little Magnemite.


« Do you feel fine?» he asked, examining the Steel type. Sada leant closer, interested in seeing what type it had become. It wasn't always immediately apparent sometimes, like with Ötzi becoming a Fire type.
For now, the Magnemite didn't look much different... sudden lack of floating aside. The two other Magnemites were circling him, apparently confused. They let out little sparks of electricity towards their Terastalized companion, but Ampere didn't seem to react at all.
Turo frowned, rubbing one finger near the little screw on the top of its head before examining it more closely.


« This is... dirt?» he muttered.
Now that she looked more closely, Ampere looked a bit dirty, a bit like he had been when Turo had first caught it, half-covered in rust.


Dirt...? Wait... was it a Ground type now?


Sada gasped, a smile spreading on her face as she watched Ampere take a couple hesitant steps on his magnet-legs. The Pokémon looked more puzzled at suddenly not being able to float than anything else.


« He looks a tiny bit like Sandy Shocks!» she laughed as Turo picked the Pokémon up, holding him in his arms. Its two magnets flailed uselessly, the Pokémon apparently not used to being subject to gravity.
... Just like its trainer once was, she realized with a smile.


« ... You're right. This will be huge. This will revolutionize Pokémon battling as a sport, and Pokémon biology as we know it. The possibilities are pretty much endless. » Sada said slowly, examining the now Ground type until the Terastalization faded.
She glanced at the clock: two minutes and fifteen seconds.
There was still much room for improvement.
Ampere immediately started floating again, his two companions approaching to circle him again in obvious relief. Turo laughed.
« People will throw money at us to get us to improve the Tera Orb! »
He looked so confident as he grinned at her, that she couldn't help but grin back.
In his crib, Arven stirred, woken up by all the noise, and she rushed to his side.
---
Arven had been growing so quickly in the following months, she couldn't help but be amazed. She had read as much as she could about the development of very small children, but it still couldn't prepare her for the rush of emotion she would feel from time to time just looking at him.
It was like... like she couldn't believe it. The little treasure she had spent nine months carrying was now with her, and he was growing up; after the first few weeks, he already recognised both her and Turo's voices and faces. A couple weeks later, and he had started to smile at her.
It all seemed so incredible.
That night, she opened her eyes when Arven's cries suddenly woke her up. They weren't the familiar cries of him simply being hungry. She squinted, putting one hand on Turo's shoulder as he had also shifted to get up, and immediately noticed that something was wrong when she saw Kim sitting near the foot of their bed, her mane lighting up the whole room. The Pyroar's eyes were moving between them and the crib nearby. She didn't look agitated, and was even purring, but Sada still felt her breath quicken as she jumped up to check on Arven. What was wrong? Pokemon senses were so much sharper than humans, she must have noticed something- was there an intruder around the lighthouse? But Ampere or the others hadn't come running-
Arven's forehead was hot to the touch.
Absolute terror gripped her as she cradled the baby to her chest, starting to tremble, eyes wide.
The Blood fire. Just like with father-
No! This was a fever. Just a fever. They weren't dangerous in this era, people got them all the time, there was no reason to be afraid-
Arven let out another soft cry, squirming in her arms, and Sada held the baby tight, breath rapidly quickening as she caressed his face, feeling useless.
She could't help him, she couldn't make it immediately better, and it made her feel powerless.
« I-it's alright, shh... Shhh » she tried to soothe him, wishing she could just do something.
She heard the blankets rustle by her side, and Turo get up a moment later.
He squinted at the unexpected brightness of the room thanks to the Pyroar's mane, took one look at her face, and quietly put one hand on her shoulder as he touched Arven's face with the other. He pulled it back after a moment, a slight frown on his face.


« ... He feels fine to me. Just slightly warm. You know Kim would notice if he got too hot-»


Sada stared, eyes wide.
He didn't understand. He couldn't understand.


« B-but he's h-hot a-and crying in pain and... and what if he got the Bloodfire a-and -» she had lapsed back in her mother tongue without noticing, but Turo didn't say anything.


What if Arven was sick and-


She expected Turo to speak up again. To tell her that she was overreacting, or being irrational. But he simply squeezed her shoulder tight, and sat down at her side, watching Arven. Kim moved at her feet, laying down as she kept purring.
She kept trembling as she watched her little treasure for what felt like hours, even as he had simply fallen asleep again, praying for whatever was happening with him to just go away.


She must have fallen asleep at some moment by sheer exhaustion, because when she woke up, Arven was back in his crib. Peacefully asleep, mouth hanging half open with one thumb stuck in his mouth, like he had started to do in the last month or so.
With a gasp, she got up and checked his forehead.
He was perfectly fine.


The relief was so strong she felt her knees go weak, and she fell back on the bed.


Something white gleamed in Arven's mouth. A little pointy canine, just the tip barely visible.
Her eyes widened at the realisation, and she self-consciously touched one of her own with the tip of her tongue.


« Apparently, some babies undergo teething as early as four months old. » Turo said stepping into the bedroom with a warm smile. « I've called the doctor, and teething can give them a little fever at times.»


She followed him with her eyes as he walked next to the crib, watching Arven.


« I see... thank you for staying by my side last night. » Sada whispered.


Turo simply nodded, tracing Arven's cheek with one finger.


« He bit me last night when I was putting him back in the crib, you know.» he muttered, and she had to restrain herself from bursting out laughing to not wake Arven up, feeling lightheaded from relief.

 

[StolenMadWolf]

Well, time to make a return to this fan-fic for the second week! My usual disclaimers still apply, a focus on the setting and characters is generally what I focus on over grammar and stuff like that. Furthermore, I’ll focus my attention on Chapters 4 and 5 this time around.

Spoiler: Chapter 4-5 Review

Chapter 4 returns back to Sada’s perspective, and it’s nice to see her curiosity really start kicking into overdrive in this chapter. She is desperate to work out exactly what or rather who Turo is, and she is slowly working on pushing Turo for that information, even if it’s putting the guy on the spot as he fully knows what it could mean if he starts talking about where exactly he comes from. The language barrier clearly isn’t helping matters, but it is showing clear signs of improvement. She is also showing signs of being the Professor Sada we’d come to recognise in the games, namely the fact that she is already starting to throw theories together about Turo’s identity and background… and she might actually be getting closer to the truth than she realises. It does make me wonder how long it’s going to take until she actually connects the dots entirely, especially since Turo is already drawing details explaining what time actually is.

We also get the typical background stuff here as well… and damn, well played in the Mareep scene? I think it’s Mareep anyway? I honestly thought that Sada and co were going to hunt the sheep mon’s down, but nope, it’s merely setting the stage for Pokemon domestication! Sheep farmers!

Chapter 5 brings back to Turo again, and I have to admit I do find his chapters more entertaining to read up. Namely because this take on Turo is actually someone I could relate to, all the way up to the procrastination. He’s got the full picture to consider with the time travel, but he’s obviously having to think about what’s happening between himself and Sada. The Miraidon ride was sweet, and amusing when the dragon has to end up reigning Turo in from going nuts at the wheel of his living motorbike. Something I can really relate too. Whilst meeting the other members of staff wasn’t as interesting as Sada’s scenes, it does balance things out. And of course, it’s always extremely amusing to see good ol’ Turo finding himself out of his depth again in the ancient past, leading to both funny and nice interactions with himself and Sada.

Linking the two chapters up again for a moment, the interactions between both future professors (or past!) is still the highlight. There is clear progress in their communication, and we are starting to see their shared interests. Specifically Pokemon, naturally, and I can’t wait for when it seems like Sada will inevitably jump to the future somehow and see how out of her depth she’s going to get! It is heartwarming to see either way.

Also took me a moment to realise that the new feathers being found have got to be linked to Koraidon, so I’m going to be looking forward to seeing the ancient paradox Pokemon showing up at some point! That’s going to lead to an interesting situation to be sure!

My only real complaint is the use of dialogue tags, which you did at least acknowledge in the pre-chapter info. I’d use “ “ for regular speech and italics for thoughts, as that is fairly standard across fan-fics. If you really want something for taking into account the language barrier, then the << >> approach, or even * * could work in that case. It’s not a big problem, but something I’d consider.

All in all though, I didn’t think I’d enjoy a romance plot quite this much! Looking forward to reading on and doing a longer review later!

 

[ShiniGojira]

Hi hi! Hello! How are ya doing? Hope your day's going swell! You're my first target of the blitz, hope it doesn't disappoint.

Spoiler: Big Post

Chapter 1:

Alright chapter 1, so I have to say, really enjoy the fic right now. I love time travel whether it be the main thing of a story or just an aspect of it, there’s just something about having someone from the past or future interacting with people from another timeline that just makes my brain squee with glee. Guess I just enjoy seeing how one would deal with suddenly going into a place that's wholely different than what they're used to.

In this case, reading Turo lamenting about nature and the pain of trekking through uncharted territory with his feeble introverted body was fun. I know how annoying it can be having to wade through bushes or roots, he’s lucky he was semi-prepared with that futuristic get-up he’s wearing. It's also interesting to know how different the future is and… well a little depressing with how much in awe he was from seeing real trees, like damn how badly did humanity fuck up if not even magical animals could save them from themselves.

Anywho, after Turo gets through suffering in past stuff, he finally gets to meet one of the locals. AU Sada in all her cave woman glory. Their interaction was fun, Sada was nicely portrayed as the cautious perceptive woman while Turo was just being the goofy doonk he is, trying to look weak and harmless so he does not get skewered by big pointy stick.

I especially love the ending part where his mind basically shuts down when his time anchor fully recharges and he basically broke rule 1 of every time traveller’s manual. Mr Panicked Scientist should know that just because something would dissolve does not mean nothing would change.

Have none of the time travel movies taught him anything?

Chapter 2 :

Onto the second chapter. This time we're seeing things from Sada’s perspective.

We get to see how Turo’s disappeared looked like outside of his ‘Yes Freedom!’ brain and thank god they didn't make the time travel flashy af. Like could you imagine just telling everyone you saw a man literally disappearing and appearing in a flash of light. One of these days, they're gonna catch him going home and they'll think he’s some sort of messiah or Arceus spawn. Like just look at his jawline! There's no way a mere mortal could have something like that with how supposedly out of shape he is!

Anyway, Sada like the true independent cave woman she is, gets excited and curious about solving this enigma of a person. I do like how her first thought of his disappearance was that he must've started climbing. As if she wouldn't have heard any rustling or thunks from his big ass shoes. Like unless he's a ninja, I don't think he's gonna be able to jump from tree to tree without making any noise.

Then it cuts to a scene with Sada asking her mom about Mr Panicked Scientist and wondering just who the hecking future is he. Kinda curious about how these ancestor spirits work. Like are they real or just made up? It kinda sounds real but I don't know, could be ghost-type/Arceus propaganda.

Now, she's determined to prove that Mr Panicked Scientist wasn't just a hallucination and she wasn't high on spirit, and she sets out to find him. I'll be honest, I was not expecting to see Turo again so quickly. Thought it would take another chapter or so but lo and behold, he’s here and getting chased by a Magikarp of all things.

You may think it's funny but Magikarps are known for being the greatest and scariest Pokémon. A team of them could even take down the Undefeatable Champion himself!

Sada saves him like the badass she is and starts verbally abusing the man for being an idiot. And the idiot himself has no clue what she’s saying.

The ‘Thank you’ scene was cute though and I feel like it's a turning point in their relationship.

Chapter 3:

So, a quick little note before I start. I've noticed a bunch of little typos and grammar mistakes along the way and pointed a few out. They're fairly small and I feel like they don't take the immersion out too badly so they're not anything to worry much about. I probably won't be noting them down as much as I go though, me smooth bran is too lazy to do that especially when it goes on for more than like five chapters.

Segue to chapter 3 review start!

Turo comes back to his future all safe and sound, I'll be honest, I kinda expected him to still be stuck or was only catapulted into the future a few days after he left especially with how chapter 2 played out. But I'm glad that wasn't the case. It's nice to read a fic about someone transported to another world or timeline and was still able to go back when he so chooses. Makes it a lot more interesting.

Future Pokémon are weird. PoryDos was cute, makes me wish they’d do something like that in the games. Like you could imagine how derpy a duckie Snorlax would look? That aside, Steelccino was weird, it being a result of IRL evolution rather than being built by humans was something I don't know how to feel about. It's… kinda sad but cool at the same time like Cursola.

Miraidon is a rather interesting case. It sounds like it's a pretty common Pokémon for people to own yet I kinda doubt they’d let anyone just own a Legendary so I assume that there’s probably one true Miraidon that has all the power of every Miraidon combined or something.

So Turo’s a dummy. For a scientist specialized in time travel, you’d think he would understand that prehistoric creatures are in a whole other league of their own when you compare it to their modern counterpart. Take real life for example, the modern sloth is useless and then look back at the giant sloth, a giant fucking nightmare. Doggos? Dire Wolves. Elephants? Mammoths. Not even bugs were safe from the prehistoric plague of making things bigger and scarier. Anyway back onto topic, Turo’s a dummy and was incredibly lucky to have Sada there to save him. Like who just walks around without a weapon when you're in a forest?

Anywho, Turo is mighty grateful to his saviour and is slowly nursing a crush while also gushing out about his first ever fire! Nothing like a hot flame to make your monkey brain go ‘Yes! Me make light! Me god now!’

And their little discussion with the paper was cute.

Chapter 4:

Dialogue quotes are a bit weird but it's fine. Just takes a bit to get used to. But other than that, they're fine.

Anyway, onto the review!

It's another Sada POV and I greatly enjoy her utter bafflement and theories about how Turo managed to survive this long without knowing basic survival stuff.

Their interaction was fun, it's interesting to see that despite the difference in the time period they were born in, they hold many similarities to each other with their eye of knowledge and observations. And Turo accidentally teaching Sada a swear word was a nice cherry on top.

Then theorising with her mother. It's nice to see their ideas on just who he is and it really feels nice to see just how thoughtful and kind Sada is deep down. Her feeling worried about some stranger she met only a week ago really speaks well of who she is.

Then the scene where they tame their first Pokémon, it's written very well and it really feels like I'm witnessing a historical event. Heh, too bad Turo wasn't here to see it.

Second meeting with Turo already has him under immediate scrutiny because damn, he's really looking to hit all the flags for the Butterfly effect, huh? It's kinda funny how bad he is at making himself not look super suspicious but at the same time, it's sorta cute how ditzy he is.

And their little stroll through the woods gathering feathers was simply adorable. I love these little down-to-earth scenes where the characters just bond without needing to say much.

Chapter 5:

It starts off with a report and I have to agree with Turo that simply explaining things in cold technical terms just feels like you're diminishing things, like you're merely entertaining an experiment or subject rather than speaking and bonding with them.

So, motor-dragon scene. I'll be honest and say that I didn't really enjoy it as much as the others though I think that's mostly a me thing rather than it being badly written. I guess when I was reading it, it felt kinda dragged on or down(?) with all the technical motorbike terms I guess? Dunno, guess it's just my fault for not liking the scene.

So we get Turo’s perspective of their stroll through the woods. And with all of this feather talk, I feel like we might be getting a visit with them real soon. Not quite sure if they said anything about the colour yet but I'm predicting it to be Koraidon, either that or a Paradox Mon like that Salamence (excuse me for not knowing their names, I haven't really played any of the recent games lol.)

Then a third meeting happened and Turo once again shows us his chin was all genetics and none of the work with him failing to keep up with Sada. Though it resulted in some cute scenes with Sada looking out for him and as usual their interactions are just adorable.

Chapter 6:

Okay, I just want to say that this chapter was great. It's not often I read something that feels a lot shorter than it actually was. Those 4k words felt like they went by like a breeze.

Sada POV was great as usual. Her taking his measurements and him getting flustered over it was cute.

The encounter with Koraidon was incredibly well written. The scene felt tense, great and it definitely makes me wonder why Koraidon didn't do anything to Sada when it could've. Maybe it saw a worthy foe? It didn't look like it was looking down on her. Or maybe it was just lonely and wanted friends?

And the ending. I wonder whether her seeing Turo dressed like a ‘normal’ guy is making her feel something, maybe the first stages of a crush?

Chapter 7:

Damn, this chapter made me feel things. Turo’s thoughts about how unfair life was, about how Sada was just born in the wrong time and his slowly festering guilt of wasting her resources on things he didn't need. Ah, it was great.

Then there was the PoryDos glitching out. I'm assuming that's the set up for Sada and Turo to be stranded in modern Paldea, huh? So, theory, is Dialga mad at the tiny humans for stepping into his territory and that's why PoryDos is flipping out? It kinda felt like it.

And we get Turo teaching Sada the power of written language! This certainly isn't the start of a Bootstrap Paradox or something! Man, it's really nice to see Sada getting so excited over learning new things.

Not much to say and I don't feel like repeating myself. So great chapter as always and keep up the good work.

Chapter 8:

A lot of things happened here. Sada taught her tribe written language, her befriending Koraidon and woosh.

On one hand, time travel is cool. On the other hand, Turo is introducing change, so much bloody change that should've only happened centuries later. I don't know if there'll be any notable consequences of Turo teaching a tribe what written language and how his influence could shape how Sada takes things ‘cause there is a substantial amount of evidence that this Pokémon world is in a Bootstrap Paradox and it's all because Turo is too empathetic. Like he's teaching her English or Japanese or whatever language Turo is using several thousands of years before it was invented. That's gotta do something to affect humanity.

Fluffyhead and Sada’s mom are also a delight in this chapter. It's so cute to see this grown ass woman acting all goofy-like with her new companion and death machine.

And Sada taming Koraidon was also great. I can't help but get some How To Train Your Dragon vibes (Dragon-type not withstanding) from this. It's also hilarious to know that if Sada needs something to be destroyed she can just use her flute like she's a summoner from an RPG.

Chapter 9:

Okay, so right now we get another POV with Turo and mostly about his side of things. I'll be honest and say that I don't really care too much about Turo’s home right now. It's not that it's badly written but more that I'm more interested in the interactions of Turo and Sada and how the past had happened.

That said, I do kinda like that we get to see Turo’s parents and how odd it must feel to have a child who's literal job is time travelling. And Miraidon being the little bugger he is.

And the Master Ball side plot. Have to say, I'm not entirely sure how all of that will play out. I'm half expecting Turo to not catch Koraidon and half expecting him to be pressured into doing it. It'll make for some great drama if the latter takes place.

And the meeting with Sada was great. Turo freaking out due to both Sada and Unexpected Dragon and now his stuttering mouth could keep still and now he's going to meet even more of the locals. Can't wait for whatever shenanigans to ensue.

Chapter 10:

I like that we got a bit of context on how Sada taught Koraidon some tricks. It's fun to see her go through trial and error to teach him how to obey her.

And her perspective of the flight was fun. Seeing the thoughts of one who hasn't experienced all of these things that I normally take for granted is always fun and it just makes me feel a bit more appreciative of just how far humanity came as a whole… despite all the bads.

And Turo finally meeting the locals, learning that he might've messed up in teaching humanity written language a whole couple thousand years earlier was great. Especially that end
ing scene. Will Sada ever confront him about the disappearing act or will the question forever haunt her until she breaks?

Now onto the line-by-line comments:

Spoiler: Line-by-line comments

He was, all things considered, pretty calm for a man who had just stepped into a time machine for the first time in his life and just got catapulted into an unknown time that was nothing like he was expecting. It was a lot more cold, for starters.

Oh interesting, we're immediately heading straight into things?

And that was.... Already not something he was used to. His time, barring some extremely remote (and extremely costly) places, was not.... Really big on the whole "living with nature" stuff.

Take it with a grain of salt but I don't think you're supposed to capitalise these words when you're continuing a sentence after an ellipse.

Point was, he was in a forest. A real forest, with real leaves. And the sun! A real sun, not an hologram with artificial light projected onto the walls of the laboratory so people didn't lose their minds not stepping outside for days!

You'd think with how much more advanced the humans of the Pokémon world are, they'd be able to take care of climate change but damn that sounds depressing as all heck. What were the legendaries doing during all of this?

Maybe he messed up the calibration of the machine and accidentally went back 140 years? No, the city was much older than that. 1400 years...?

Speaking of time travel, how exact can it throw a person back in time? Can it be as specific as down to the very second or just to a certain date?

The lab coat was.... Ok, the lab coat wasn't exactly required to time travel, or at all, but it was just rule of cool. He liked his lab coat.

Wonder if he'd get mistaken as a pharmacist with how much he wears his lab coat

He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. He should be running away and avoiding all signs of civilization to keep the risk of catastrophically influencing all of human history to a minimum. The Beautifly effect and all that.

I mean if you really want get down to the nitty gritty of the Butterfly Effect. Just appearing in the past, in general, would have already caused some changes since you're moving through the world, brushing against the grass, wind and whatnot. So if nothing bad has happened like him disappeared then I'm sure nothing would go wrong with him just accompanying the strange cave woman lady.

He could.... Write a paper on it, or something.

'Write' doesn't need to be capitalised here.

They will leave no trace and become useless the moment she used them all up. He clicked the pen and showed her how to write with it on the notebook, and was rewarded by her eyes immediately lighting up with excitement. She grabbed the pen and started doodling on the first page, completely absorbed by it.

And that ladies and gentlemen was how the first ever Pokémon Professor was discovered.

Chapter 2:

Did he... Climb them and start jumping from tree to tree?

The image of Turo jumping from tree to tree like a certain ninja was not what I expected to think of when reading a time travel fic.

Did he... Climb them and start jumping from tree to tree?

Someone else would have been suspicious, troubled.... Maybe even scared.

These two here shouldn't be capitalised.

He is too.... Clean

He is incredibly pale, like someone who hasn't seen the sun... Ever, and

So... Tidy.

These don't need to be capitalised.

Traveling (apparently) alone, with no weapons, no signs of tear or use in his garments or on his body, with clothes that were just begging to get him eaten by some creature... It was more than strange. It was impossible.

I don't know if this is what you're implying but it kinda sounds like the future, although depressing in the absence of nature, has little to no crime. No Pokémon or poké ball on him. Like I get that not many IRL people carry around a gun or a knife when they're walking around, but it is kinda weird that he didn't bring some sort of protection when... y'know, he decided to time travel. Seems like a silly little oversight when you think about it.

some lousy ancestor that he was if he didn't even have some great wisdom to impart.

Nonsense! Surely his clumsy running imparted way more wisdom than you realise, Sada! He was probably trying to tell you what not to do in the middle of nowhere.

He is starting to sound more like a spirit than a man to me.» his mother smiles shaking her head.

'his' should be 'her' and also it should be capitalised since it's an action tag.

What she hears instead is a muffled, panicked and obviously human scream. For a long second, she can't even move, dumbfounded.

Oh hey! What's he doing here? Thought he got back to his OG timeline already?

The Brutal Fang, it's vivid red scales glistening from the water it just jumped out from,

Red scales? Wait, I thought this was a Houndour? Like the only red scaled black creature I can think of is Salandit and that doesn't exactly screamed 'Brutal Fang' to me.

Not missing a beat and evidently not caring about being on dry land, the red and gold fish thrashes violently against the ground until it rights itself,

Wait, huh? It's a Chiyu?... Okay, give me a sec, I think I got something mixed up.

Oh, golden and red scales... it's- it's a Magikarp. He's getting fucking murked by a Magikarp, isn't he?

First thing he does is check his wrist, strangely

Okay, so if I'm reading this correctly, he either failed to go back to his OG time or this is his second trip. Though if it's the former that kinda means he has to wait for a pretty long time for his anchor to get enough charge to throw him back, right? If it's linear, like say a couple hours=a couple days, I assume he has to wait for like weeks, months or maybe a couple years to go back, which is a big oof.

but he just lowers his head and scoffs, looking almost... Embarrassed.Seems

'E' shouldn't be capitalised and looks like your space got eaten.

He suddenly looks so... Vulnerable and lost,

Shouldn't be capitalised.

But I gotta say, this ending scene was pretty cute for the very traumatizing event that Turo experienced.

Chapter 3:

This version in particular was made to look bright yellow with spiky, needle like feathers where his "wings" were supposed to be, and ended up looking more like a cross between a Psyduck and the legendary Zapdos... A little, puffy, dopey and kinda adorable Zapdos.

Hah, PoryDos is awesome and the art just makes it all the cuter!

Object is not considered a safety or sanitary hazard.

Really? Not even a bit on the sanitary scale? They're teeth and feathers from a time where the closest thing to sterilisation is cooking.

Time sickness" was apparently a thing: the human body -or living things in general

So Celebi don't count as living beings?

people not landing when and where expected, or coming back with amnesia.

So is this how you're explaining Fallers or are they a separate thing?

At the end of the day, it turned out, people just really liked to mash the shit out of buttons.

Lol yeah, give me a big shiny red button any day and I'll not hesitate to press it.

absent mindedly

This here should be one word or have a dash in the middle.

That sounded exhausting, how did people put up with that in the past?

With extreme reluctance.

He start following the river

Missing an 's' on this word here.

Is that how the move developed? Is that what it originally was for? To chase prey even on dry land?

Christ, you've somehow managed to make Splash sound threatening.

He start mimicking what she had just showed him, and in not even a minute his arms already start protesting about the effort they are definitely not used to performing.

Damn, guess that Gigachad face is just for show, huh?

Chapter 4:

"Dumbass"...?» she repeats, picking out one of the words from his muttering at random, and only because it sounded funny.

Turo freezes, a flash of horror on his face that quickly gets replaced by a stuttering, incredulous laugh that he tries and fails to contain.

Hah! That's good. First ever curse uttered and it's because of mister future man himself, I can imagine how she'll use it to annoy or embarrass him

they can use it's

Wrong form of 'it's' here. Should be 'its'

This... This is huge. If they can get it back to the settlement, they can use it's wool without having to scrounge up little pieces by what they found laying around, or by actively hunting them.

If they could get another of the opposite sex, maybe they could even start an herd of their own!

There's just one last thing to decide.

« ... What do we call it?»

Also I have to say, this whole scene was pretty damn cool. It's like I'm reading an incredibly important historical moment... which it technically is, I guess.

she's misremembering how long it was tree days ago,

Misspelled 'Three'

They find some feathers, but they are obviously not the ones they are looking for: much bigger, mostly white with a blue purple base.

Hisuian Braviary comes to mind.

She stares at them for a second while he notices and ties his mantle closed, slightly embarrassed. Those have to be the most useless and backwards clothes she's ever seen.

Turo be like: B-but it's cool! It's not useless if it makes you looks good!

Chapter 5:

Made contact again with a native"

Not sure why there's a ending quote there unless it either slipped in or the forum ate the opening.

No wait, it's supposed to represent that flickering thing when you're writing, isn't it?

Were would you even get true leather these days?) to

Misspelled 'Where' here.

with activity;his

Space got nommed on like a sandwich

That didn't stop people from romanticism about it)

Think it should be 'romanticising'

It made a certain amount of sense. Even in his time, not all Pokemon had slowly changed until they were basically recognised as different species like Miraidon and Cyclizar.

With all this talk about Miraidon and Cyclizar, I wonder whether any of the future peeps know about Koraidon since it hasn't been mentioned like at all when talking about Cyclizar and evos.

Places were humans have no business living in any case.

Misspelled 'Where' here.

Anywhere else, there is always a street lamp, or a display or a monitor that's on 24/7, or his Rotom Phone. His own clothes have stripes with a slight bioluminescence built into them.

So even remote locations are lit up? Like middle of forests and shit? Has humanity really spread that much? Makes me wonder how they deal with overpopulation?

Though if I recall correctly, they have gone to space and started colonizing other planets, right? Or am I thinking of another fic?

Sada started to rummage in her bag again; usually he is the one to embarass himself in front of her, so seeing her mutter something under her breath while avoiding his gaze is... the only word he can find is "precious".

Interesting to see her embarrassed over clothes of all things. Kinda weird that the concept of modesty already exist this early, it's not a complaint mind you, just something I find odd.

Chapter 6:

Was he really that fearful and wary of other people?

Sada POV's Turo sounds like a sad little puppy that she is trying (and failing) to not adopt.

« And that is... beautiful.» Turo whispers something to himself, something she can't understand yet. She will not be able to for quite some time.

Ah, you're tugging at my heartstrings with this scene! It's so adorbs!

Sada prowls through the underbrush, until she manages to catch a glimpse from the creature. It's definitely the one that flew overhead just before, and she finds herself staring at it in complete amazement. It's beautiful. Much bigger than the Slither Grip that it is currently staring down, it is standing upright on two strong legs covered in red scales like most of it's body, except for part of it's tail and throat that are completely black, and a white underbelly. A magnificent crest of big colorful feathers runs all along it's back and head, and she immediately recognizes them as the same ones she had used for Turo's necklace.

Oh, is this Koraidon?

She tries to draw it as better as she can in the notebook

This should probably be 'best', it sounds a bit weird using 'better'.

Chapter 7:

Dr. Romero Turo

I forgot to ask this but is his full name really Romero Turo? Like, is Turo his last name or first since he typically goes with Turo instead or is it like japanese where Romero is his family name instead?

... it is in my interest to ensure that users of the time-machine remain in peak physical and psychological condition. That is all.» it answered, then turned around and decompiled itself into code, disappearing inside the console of the time machine with a last beep that somehow managed to sound annoyed.

Tsundere rubby ducky moment?

It wasn't fair... how much the thought of her being both so close, yet so impossibly far away hurt him

Aw, it's so sweet to see that he cares so much about her.

Could have been anything. The settings weren't any different from any other jump we've done, so it shouldn't be anything on our part. Porygon 568 says that he sensed something right before deciding to cancel the jump. »

Uh, Celebi or Dialga interference? Or did Koraidon flex his muscles too hard and it broke spacetime?

Chapter 8:

Had there been... a flash of light right there at that moment?

Oof, I'm expecting some big 'Curiosity killed the cat' moment sooner or later.

That's not something that you can teach just with words and symbols. Same with hunting. You can tell someone the best spot to strike a Steady Glacier with a spear, but it won't stop someone from dying if he has never practiced doing it. »

I mean, yeah experience is important but I feel like having knowledge of something is always a 1000x better than just blindly winging it.

She is left staring at it in quiet awe.

Congrats! Sada has successfully linked with Koraidon!

You can't just show up every time and eat all my food.» she sighed quietly, watching it sniff around the entire camp, then look at her expectantly

Hah! She now has the primal Pokémon equivalent of Batman's Battering Tank.

Chapter 9:

this dude was everywhere while I chased Suicune, I swear-»

Lol wait, is it that guy from the Gold and Silver games? How the hell is he still alive?

Much cheaper. Faster. Less martians that accidentally elbowed you in the face to take a selfie with a view of the Earth in the background.

Oh, scientifically accurate martian humans?

Leandro Turo looked

Guess that answered my question of whether Turo's his last name or not. Though I do wonder why he gave her his last name instead of his first? Maybe as a way to be impersonal? Or is it because it's more convenient for the readers?

Thirty-two years ago, Jules I. Wells was the first man to successfully jump

Oh, the first 'documented' case of time travel. Guess Gold travelling to the past to beat up Giovanni wasn't well known to the public, eh?

Well... it's your responsibility to make sure that doesn't happen. Like everything else with our jobs. »

Well, that certainly doesn't sound ominous.

Those had also received some design changes during the centuries: it was completely white with a red line all around the perimeter, but how they worked was pretty much the same.

So Premier balls but they're actually special instead of just a bonus?

Nevermind, that wasn't just excited, she was euforic.

Misspelled euphoric.

He nodded, and was rewarded by the biggest smile he had ever seen on her, her whole face practically glowing - and then she jumped up and hugged him, throwing her arms around his neck, and he is left petrified with a mix of fear and excitement and oh her hair is so soft and tickling his neck and he has no idea what to do should he hug her back and not stand there like an idiot should he kiss her fuckhereallywantsto-

Haha! Mr Panicked Scientist has no clue on how to act around touchy woman.

Chapter 10:

Yes!! » she nodded, and Turo looked... conflicted. He muttered something incomprehensible to himself - "aw, shit-",

You've dug your grave, man. Now sleep it in

Sada is left staring at empty air, not a single trace left of him. It took her quite a bit to notice that she was trembling, frozen in place.

Oh shit. Curiosity didn't kill this cat, it broke it.

And that should do it for now. Don't know if I'll cover more this blitz but this has been quite enjoyable. Have a nice day!

 

[Flyg0n]

Spoiler: Chapter 18

He wouldn't do it.

Not... Voluntarily, at least.

Awww I love her confidence here, knowing he wouldn't ever volntarily leave her (as well as her immediate fear that he might have gotten injured and swept away). Its so satisfying to see couples have some surety in each other and each others character. But also oof, thats scary, because it means the option is involuntary...

They were lost, and scared, and hurt.

But at least they were together.

Sobbing,,,, aaauuuggh
I love love love this throughline that keeps coming up, I don't think I can ever get sick of it or these two. Truly my fav thing is this ravenous, overpowering, everything in the world may go to hell, everything can be falling apart, but if we're together we can handle it. Us against the world.

his friends, his whole life, and Mirai-

NOOOO MIRAIDON Love how he doesn't even want to think about it, and how Miraidon may not have been this huge thing in early chapter but how Miraidon was a constant presence in his life, so much so he can't bear to even think about him. Arggh

she needed to find a name for it... Dark Talons?

I adore that the very first thought Sada has upon seeing a new pokemon is to name it. What a nerd. I love her.

No, she needed something else; something still as swift and deadly, but with more versatility.

She needed to make a bow.

*monster hunter theme song plays*
I just love seeing Sada's skillset come into play.

Clavell had to repress a chuckle as he, with some regret, marked the question as incorrect.

Clavell POV! Also this is hilarious, i imagine he gets some wild responses to test questions hah. I love the way you work in these cheeky self aware references, it adds souch charm.

After all, nobody had been in Area Zero since decades.

I'm sure its nothing.

Spoiler: Chapter 19

He had managed to find a matchbook and some candles inside a drawer in the small kitchen, and stared at the little packet for a good five seconds, feeling like he was about to embarrass himself. He had never lit a match in his life, obviously, but... Come on. He had made actual fire with his bare hands. Old movies made it look so easy!

Matches being foreign to him is hilariously delightful. I just love how much thought you put into even small moments like this; how out of his element Turo feels. Matches being outdated!! imagine....

The second one he almost dropped when it actually lit up, and he smiled-

Awwwww this was precious. It probably feels really cool to light a match if you never have in your life....

That was the problem with old analog technology like this; one little thing broke or even just got a bit too much dust on it, and suddenly nothing worked. Or at least, that's how it seemed to always be in media. And you didn't even get some error message about what was wrong.

This is so funny because right now I feeel like I prefer a lotof analog-esque stuff and touch screens are unrealiable, but I bet in the future, analog is way more unrealiable and tech stuff has become a lot better. Also yeah its true though lol, at least tech gives an error message (even if its often unhelpful, looking at YOU windows troubleshooter)

More than one time, he found himself gesturing in midair for a screen to appear out of pure habit to look something up, only to be left confused when nothing happened. This would take... a while to get used to. At the third time of waving his hand in the air, he let out a frustrated sigh and stood up, going back to the shelves.

ahahah poor Turo, struggle is real. Reminds me of those videos of kids tapping books or people used to a tablet having a brain short circuit and trying to zoom on the paper lol. Eextremely annoying though for him. I bet he looks kinda of crazy to people watching though lol.

« And if they did find me... they would already be here.» he added.

the time travel conundrum... if they knew they would have saved you by now.
But then. Maybe its not such a bad idea of your future self doesn't come back and stop you right lol?

She realized she had been shivering only when she heard Turo turn around and put one hand on her shoulder. It was warm, like him, and he slowly started caressing her shoulder, then her hair, and finally let his hand rest on her cheek.

« Sada... it's not your fault.» he repeated in a whisper, shuffling closer to softly kiss her forehead.

« We're still alive. We are still together.» he added after a moment, and that made her shivering slowly slow down until it finally stopped. She looked at the glowing lines on his suit, how they seemed to pulse slightly with each controlled breath he took, and traced one with a finger, slowly, until she came upon the barely visible outline of the necklace she had given him so much time ago. She gradually matched her breath to his, burying her face on his chest.

« ... yes. We're still together.» that was what she had to focus on. The only thing that mattered.

Screaming, crying, throwing up,
I love themI loe them I love them.
I love couples taking comfort in each other, finding safety and solace against the unknown UGHHHHH. Also physical touch between an established coupleis

so many of those electric rodents in the past they all kind of blended together to him. How were you supposed to remember them all? There was a different one in every darn region it seemed.

Perishing at this, I live for these kinds of comments lol. Turo being aware of the pattern is just hilarous. Don't worry Turo, there's probably too many to remember at this point anyway.

He was only sure it wasn't a Mincinno, because he knew what the ancestor of Steelcino looked like, and it wasn't that.

Steelcino sounds amazing. Also Mincinno as a pikaclone was somehow not an angle I considered and yet it makes sense.

« You have to teach them what you want with each command. Here-» Sada got the creature's attention by waving one berry around, and then waited patiently.

I like her being more experienced than him as a trainer, in a way, even though he's used to pokemon more than she is, he's not used to literally training them. Techo-mon are a lot easier to train!

« Help.»

AUGH this line just, got me all choked up, idk why it just. Its the simplicity? The one word, its so simple but so powerful its just. Help. AAAAa

He threw one of the Premier Balls on his jacket, letting out his Gyarados, and quickly climbed on the Pokémon's back, directing him towards the Great Crater. The water serpent flew fast and high, soaring high to avoid the Garchomp and especially Magnezone that loved to establish their territory there, before diving straight down.

FLYING GYARADOS 10/10. Also love the rerence to the Garchomp and Magnezone.

Paradoxical.

ROLL CREDITS? /j

Spoiler: Chapter 20

The man had... what looked like six whole Master Balls in pure white and red attached to his jacket. That was absurd! Was he... the Paldean League Champion, or something of that sort? Or were Master Balls actually common in the past?

THATS THE THING
AHAHAHA I love that lol. "holy smokes this guy is crazy"
"what these? they're just premier balls". Thank you for this joke, it was worth it hah.

propped up against the table on the little pillow usually reserved for Pokémon.

!!!! oh!!!! Pillow reserved for the pokemon I love, aaaaa
These details add so much. I need to remember to acknowledge things like this, I love seeing them.

People would call her Sada and nothing else. She didn't care how weird it would make her look here. Other than the literal clothes on her back, it was the only thing she had that was still hers. Begrudgingly, she had realized that she couldn't keep walking around with her clothes here as soon as she had jumped off that blue serpent.

oh. awwwww. Thats rough, poor Sada (hey maybe you should take a certain scientists name... wink wink...)

3) A weird combination of both.

I mean he's way wrong but also vaguely kind of in a ballpark.

Clavell was left completely baffled; his new theory already shattered. The man wasn't lying. His eyes were just completely devoid of any light as he looked at the horizon.

ohhhh ohhhh poor Turo. Home but so so far from home is so scary... agh my heart. hearing it described through someone elses eyes hits hard.

Now he could see her eyes shine, not with her usual curiosity, but with sadness. Tears, gathering at the corner of her eyes. He kissed her forehead, holding her against his chest as he tried to comfort her as she had just done to him, whispering a single "I'm sorry" over and over again. Her tears soon became little sobs that she tried to choke back by biting at her lip, her hands balling into fists against his bodysuit, slipping over the smooth fabric.

Noooo don't cry oohhhhh
These moments hit so hard, I feel so awful for both of them, so so far from everything they ever knew.

Two feet with sharp talons made of pure Hadron energy landed heavily on the floor, and the Pokémon, now probably as big as the legendary it had been inspired from, lowered his great head to stare at her with completely white eyes.

!!!!!!!!!!! YO SICK??? I didn't know he had some ind of edgy super form??? whooaaaaa

Spoiler: Chapter 21

The food here was amazing, and they had wondrous things she couldn't even imagine... but there seemed to be so many strange rules you had to obey to be part of the community. She had noticed people looking at them weird while they ate, and she had hated it.


It made her feel wrong just because she didn't know about these rules.
There was so much she had to learn. But first of all, she had to choose a name. A normal one, that wouldn't make her stand out... but she didn't even know what people here were usually called.

Poor Sada again. But also I know whooseee name u can take, kek. But also honestly all the power to her if she ends up like, taking her fathers or mothers name or smth? idk we'll see! Also man yeah, thats gotta be hard to get by not knowing all the weird rules.

Who knows, maybe the poor girl had been kidnapped by some criminal organization in Kalos and Turo had helped her escape... it would explain her lack of people skills, at least.
And... it would also somewhat explain the fact that she had apparently been more than capable of hunting Pokémon with a bow and arrows to survive.


But it wasn't only the woman that was strange; Turo had done his share of weird things himself during that lunch. From thinking that they still had Pokémon Centers to the way he seemed to look at every little thing with a mix of sadness and frustration. He also seemed to have a weird tic with his arm, because Clavell had noticed him make little gestures with his left hand, just to look crestfallen immediately after.

oh no Turo lol.
Highly amusing how weird other people find his behaviour but also sad, ya know.

Also I enjoy Clavell's theorizing hero, these are some fairly reasonable conclusions! Even the bit where he wondered if it was ghost pokemon or Zoroark.

« Yes, he...» Sada hesitated, not quite sure how to put it. Would "He's not great at moving around" sound strange? She also didn't want to put him down, because it wasn't his fault. In his time, people didn't seem to walk around much from the little she had seen; they didn't need to.

Dyin laughing but also this is so sweet and nice, I really appreciate that she doesn't want to insult him in front of strangers! This is so important and kind of her but I feel like its rare to get nice details like this, this level of thoughtfulness? I love it.

« Look Turo! It's all paper!» She whispered, in awe, grabbing his arm.
---
Turo stared at the wooden shelves that lined three whole floors of the academy, holding hundreds and hundreds of books.


« It's all paper...» He quietly despaired, in complete disbelief, looking around in search of even a single digital screen.

LOLLL this killed me. "it's all paper! " vs "its all paper "
Peak comedy. Feels like it'd come at either end of a commercial break type thing heh.

" It's all paper!!"

[full metal alchemist announcer voice]: TIMESLIP

""It's all paper..."

Sada's face fell, and Turo was sure he knew exactly what she was thinking about.
... he missed Miraidon so much. He couldn't contemplate having any other Pokémon by his side.

Oh noo

When will they get here? How??? I can't bear it much longer oh dear, I hope they arrive soon! Poor Turo, its especially rough bc he's been with Mirai since he was young...

Spoiler: Chapter 22

Did people just... read books and had other "scientist" explain stuff to them?

... Yes /hj
Also I am not sure if this IC or not but scietists should have an 's' at the end.

But also my first assumption was that because its Sada thats why the word is like that and if so, it works fine.

Mostly because most of everything in his time was automated. Dirty dishes? He just slid them in the sink and they automatically got cleaned, before getting teleported back to their place in the cupboard, ready to be used again.

WHAT
TAKE ME THERE OH NO

Poor Turo oh noooooo that HORRIBLE to lose that
It just TELEPORTS back to its spot????? NEKO WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH SUCH IDEAS?

As much as she loved helping with the library in the Academy itself, she had to admit that she sometimes needed a bit of time to herself. There were just so many people around, and she just... wasn't used to it.

what a mood Sada, what a mood

« That Fidough looked ready to evolve. You can tell from their skin; wild Fidough that want to grow stronger look for matches against fire-type Pokémon or bask in the sun, training to sustain higher and higher heat. This makes their usually moist skin dry up and harden, until they evolve into Dachsbun and become completely immune to fire attacks.

Aww this is adorable! I love the idea of them purposefully seeking out battles like that aaaa

So this one was "Houndoom"... she still didn't quite like or understood the rules for giving Pokémon their names (her method still sounded much more useful)

It's ok Sada, I like your method still

... something in the whole scene struck a chord in her; she felt a weird sense of affinity with the creature. A little huntress left all alone, away from her family... s

Awww YES YES Litleo is perfect

... was she ready for it? Sada looked at the Litleo.


... Winged King would have grumbled because he would have to share his food with someone else, but then probably grow fond of her, she thought with a little smile. She could picture him sleeping curled up all around the Litleo, keeping her warm.

Im not crying you're crying go away

Seriously though Litleo is a great pick and I love how she relates to it and imagines Winged King getting along with it

He whispered in her language, and she felt a couple of tears roll down her face as she simply nodded again, holding the Poké Ball to her chest.

😭 This scene really got me all emotional, I loved this.

« ... ugh. Fine. Let's go buy a Poké Ball from the Poké Market for you and get you registered.» He grumbled, heading out into the corridor with the little bird perched on his shoulder.

I have to say, this really caught me off guard! I wasn't expecting a Murkrow as his first pokemon. (Actually my brain when first to Magnemite, then to the idea of an early model Porygon, what with the whole programming angle, but then Porygon might work a bit different here).

Not a negative, just definitely not the one I expected.
I do wish maybe the moment could have lasted a bit longer. In comparison to Sada, it happened a bit quicker but then I suppose it makes some sense, as to her taming another pokemon is different (though then again, she had Winged King less time than Turo had Mirai. But also Turo was more motivated to get one so he could be with Sada.

« ... Alba. Alba Sada.» She said after a moment.

! Ooooo I wonder what this means? I might have forgot or overlooked, but I don't see any other mentions of Alba? Maybe I am just fuzzy brained and missed it. Or it'll be revealed later.

« ... I assume "Sneaky bastard" breaks a school rule or two? »

LOLLLL

« ... offensive names are not permitted.

smh, the gf profanity filter strikes again.

You should do a gag where they try to pick another seemingly innocent nickname and they cant lol.

Apparently Cheddar isn't allowed on pokemon sleep!

They may look okay on a kid, but... ugh. And wearing them is required, isn't it? »

oof ouch, oof. worst part of the school. Good luck Turo i am so sorry

« So... maybe something like Clavell! "Professor Sada" and "Professor Turo"! »


« ... no way that's going to happen.»

ROLL CREDITS!!!

I live for the little self aware moments like this that play with time so this is perfect

They are both still mourning the loss of Koraidon and Miraidon in a sense, so I needed two Pokemon that they both had nothing to do with, as a fresh start.

Murkrow was not at all what I expected but I am very intrigued to see where that goes, its kind of oddball but also the personality of a mischievous little rascal thief fits after Miraidon I think.

Spoiler: Chapter 23

Turo simply grumbled in response; he wasn't looking forward to having to wear any of the different combinations of clothing the Academy offered

ME TOO MAN, ME TOO

I feel you, and if I actually was in the pokeworld I'd be losing my poor mind trying to find a way out of this.

« It's stuck to your beard! »


... yeah, that was probably why he hadn't eaten it in ages. He started to pick out pieces of cotton candy stuck to his chin as Sada kept laughing.


... worth it.

GGAAAHHHHH
How are they so cute?? I almost never feel shippy brained about couples (especially pokemon) but these two are the exception, and the little moments like this make everything so sweet. Heheheh

« Don't know. A simple name. Something like... Carlos-» a rather pointy beak playfully pecked at his earlobe.


« ... all right. Not Carlos...» He tried a couple of other names, but with more cawing noises, the Murkrow seemed to refuse them all. This was going to take a while...

shoulda named him bastard smh

« Yeah, um... it would sound strange, I'm afraid. You can't give names like you did to Pokémon in your language. Most people go for... short names. Cute names. And-» He added in a haste, as Sada was already puffing her cheeks out in annoyance.


« She's not going to stay "little". When she evolves, she will grow a lot.»


Sada grumbled, looking back down at "Little Huntress".

Huntress is a great name idk what ur talkin about Turo.

« You also looked pretty interested... so you like prehistory? Fossils are interesting, but the fact that you can never be sure of how things were at the time is a bit... frustrating. It would be amazing to just have a time machine to go see for yourself-» the woman was saying.


A loud snort made her stop and turn around, and Sada did the same, already recognizing who the one responsible for it had been.


Turo was walking right behind them, his bag full of books for the next lesson thrown over one shoulder and suspenders left hanging at his waist, trying to suppress a grin.

Also I am so here for this friendship! I love how both of them have made their own firneds at the academy.

The cafeteria was pretty crowded that day, and the lessons were going well. Sada seemed to already have found a friend, the history-loving girl who wished to have a time machine

« I-I know... but these creatures are just like the one I know... and the other book... »


The other book? He had assumed Sada had just grabbed two copies to have him read one, but when she lifted the Scarlet Book to look at it better, he saw that the second book underneath was actually different. A violet cover, with a sleek figure drawn in similarly stylized lines as the Scarlet Book, pointing to the right instead of the left, almost mirroring the other.
Nothing could have prepared him for what was drawn on the cover. He drew a strangled breath, suddenly feeling his chest ache.


Miraidon...

!!!!!!! OHHHHHH

Oh man yeah, this is wild for them, bc its canonically real. I am very curious how, I assume its got to be paradox/turtle shenanigans perhaps.

« We need to go back to Area Zero.»

Back to the Future
(or I guess for Sada, to the past ehehe)

Uh... Oh, nice! The little bastard actually did it!

!! ahahah I love that lol

Another thing: will I show them challenging the Gyms?
Nope.

Oh thank arceus lol. Not that I don't think you'd do a great job but yeah I agree, this fic is better off focusing on their relationship than gym battles.

Spoiler: Chapter 24

"And then what?"

He gritted his teeth, willing the intrusive question away for the moment.

"Even if you manage to get out, what then?"

It... It did look like a bird. A big one, with a very long neck, bright pink feathers, strong clawed feet but also... Its feathers looked strange, encased in crystals. They shimmered with a faint green glow, and some of them actually looked like they were made of tiny scales, like bug wings. It also had a couple of antennae growing from its head, which it seemed to be able to move freely.
So... Was it a bug or a bird? A... Bug-type bird Pokémon? It reminded her a bit of the Triple Runner she had faced with Turo some time ago.

OHHH I do rather like how tera pokemon appear here! Covered in crystals was also what I was thinking of doing and it works alot better narratively than hats (I think Horizons black rayqauza has a similar thing)

Why didn't Clavell allow her to bring her bow? She felt defenseless without it; was she really supposed to just... Stand around and watch Kim fight all alone? Giving her orders?

Sada proving once again she belongs in Monster Hunter Stories world lol. I do love her reaction is to say "nah bump that, throw rocks" which is great. She'd be right at home in manga verse getting in the action, heh.

« The crystal feathers have little scales like bugs, but under the crystals, they look fine-» She added.


« We have to... break it all.»

Ahhhhh this makes a lot of sense, I don't think I have consciously thought this way but this would be how wild tera pokemon work, and why you need to break through the crystals to catch them.

Clavell, and most people of 21th century Paldea as it turned out, tended to always have all the necessary equipment for a picnic with them at all times. Somehow. And picnic tables and spots were pretty much everywhere.
The whole thing struck him as a bit strange: had historians missed the whole Paldean picnic craze, or did they simply not consider it important enough to mention? Whatever.

eheheh this is funny. Welcome to regional gimmicks, Turo.

« ... You're just embarrassed at making sandwiches in front of Clavell because you suck at it.» She gleefully added after a moment, making him grumble unhappily.

NO its because the sandwich making mechanics are glitchy and bad and the portion sizes are absurd /j

Did it really need an entire block of bacon...?

I feel your pain so much Turo. Why are the bacons giant blocks.
Also lol, Sada is a carnivore girl after my own heart.

realizing how seriously out of shape he was compared to everyone else here had... stung a bit. Shouldn't it be the opposite? Sure, people... barely needed to walk in his time, especially in space, but... he had had access to better medical practices his whole life! He was protected against stuff that didn't even exist yet here! Was advanced medicine really the only thing keeping the people of his time upright?

Yes turo, it is /lh
you gotta touch some grass sometimes and get exercise (as I apparently see later lol)

Or were all those at the Academy just stupidly fit because they trained Pokémon and traveled a lot?

I bet pokemon trainers are SO fit. Walkings and climbing and carrying things. my gosh. it would do wonders for me...

He hadn't fallen sick, had he?

SICK ARC WHEN??? SICK WHUMP???? PLEASE

Sada was used to the two not really getting along. Or rather, neither of them seemed to want to miss an occasion to quip a little joke to the other's expense from their very first interaction.

Ahahah I am so here for their rivalry, I feel like they would be exactly the type to gripe.

She had been painted from the neck down, like a lot of people did at the time,

I think you mean neck up?

"An... Ancestor"?» she whispered.


« Ah, right... Someone from your family, in the past.» Raifort added. Sada's frown didn't disappear as she looked at the face of the woman in the painting.

!!!!!! Oh my gosh??? But how... Also I see everyone in the pokeworld is aware of the Ancestor gene being Strong, lol. Perinn be looking crazy like Adaman

« His Miraidon is gone.»

!!! Oh??? What does this mean? Interesting

Also its a shame my memory of what happened in the first arc is fuzzy; I remember traveling to the future and something being weird about Turo but not enough details to try and form theories, so I was very intrigued.

Also I think for the first time I struggled a bit at the end of this chapter to know who was speaking? I admittedly was reading a bit fast but it probably couldn't hurt to keep an eye on formatting and maybe add a 'Vega said' or 'Ortega said'.

Spoiler: Chapter 25

Turo walked out of the classroom feeling pretty lightheaded, and definitely not because of his current physical state. That painting of "Professor Olim" had shaken him; it couldn't be a coincidence. It had to be proof that he and Sada would manage to find a way to travel through time, there was no other explanation.
Seeing it had also suddenly brought another memory of his to mind: that time he had travelled to the future with Ortega and Moreau, and how that teenage girl seemed to know him... Or at least, had definitely recognized him.

Tsk Turo...

I wonder if maybe the AI selves or something end up in the respective places or they really do go seperate ways later? I am so xcited to see where this goes...

« You don't look fine... You're shivering.» Sada added, approaching after having bid goodbye to Raifort. She touched his forehead with her hand, her fingers feeling cool at the touch.

I want him to have a sick chapter so bad lol

This was little more than a dingy little can held up with rope by Pokémon apparently famous for fighting each other. Who ever thought this was a good idea?

You know I'm with Turo here lol, this does sound like an insane contraption and that pilot doesn't give me any confidence.

She would have liked to talk more to the "pilot" about it, so she had given him her number.

SADA NOOOOOOOO
don't hit on the pilot pleaaasseeeee noooo

« I'm more surprised that this is news to you. How does someone go their whole life not realizing they are allergic to Smoliv oil? I

Ohhhhh I remember now, Turo isn't used to pokemon byproducts.

« And... You, I believe, have no idea what an allergy even is. I've observed you, during class. I know when you simply don't know the translation for something and ask Turo, and when you look completely lost on what a word represents.»

yessss YESSSS I love how observant he is here, I love how he pieced these things together.

« My conclusion is that you two... as absurd as it sounds... are not of this world. Rather, not of this time. You've somehow found yourself in Area Zero from a different era... did you?» he asked in a low voice.

I LOVE SMART AND INTELLIGENT CHARACTERS I LOVE IT
YES. I love love love that he basically came to the correct (and most sane) conclusion on his own, like a proper scientist. Not dismissing just because it seems too farfetch'd. Because reasonable, time travel explains it all the best, and he should catch on.

He didn't want to mention the "forbidden romance" theory. He had really liked that one, and letting it go had been hard. He was a bit of a sappy hopeless romantic.

omg hopeless romantic Clavell feels right

« Two people from completely different times meeting by chance... So I was right! It is a forbidden romance!» he gleefully exclaimed.

His ship is so back y'all

He somewhat wished that they would have confessed their situation to him from the start, but he could barely begin to imagine what it must have felt like, to be in their place. Would he have done the same?

I really apreciated how all this played out. Basically deciding to tell him but also him having figured it all out, and some drama and tension but no huge blowup or conflict either.

It felt very reasonable and natural but also satisfying because Clavell isn't dumb and he ought to be able to glean the truth, even if he doesn't understand the full scope of it. It feels a lot more satisfying when characters can succesfully make reasonably intellgent deucins about the world around him, especially if said character is a scientist.

I'm very excited to see where he goes from here.

As a side note I wonder if anyone will mention like, Dialga or Celebi in passing? Kind of like "Oh wow so if you're from a different time did you get here because of Celebi?" or maybe they don't know of other regions deities in this verse....

Spoiler: Chapter 26

Now she understood why Turo had looked guilty every time she had urged him to eat something when he was visiting.

of ouch oh ouch. I do really enjoy the reversal of sorts that happened though, where now that Sada is in a "future" she understands how Turo felt coming to a "past".

but to her, it felt almost suffocating, how it seemed like she could never get away from the city.
And of course, every time she raised her head to the sky, she could never see the stars like she used to.

Man I feel like this living in the present I cannot begin to imagine just how disconcerting and frustrating it would be for Sada.

(Turo himself, on the other hand, had struggled quite a bit with the Gym challenge before the battle itself. Watching him push the giant inflatable olive around, gasping and cursing outloud as his Murkrow flapped around his head trying to help had been quite funny, even if she had tried not too laugh at him.
Well... Not too much.),

Oh my gosh this mental image is absolutely hilarious, poor Turo.

The Litleo would follow her in long, aimless excursions around southern Paldea, not caring or complaining if they simply walked for hours and hours, sometimes chasing wild Pokémon around. She was growing bigger and stronger: the Cortondo Gym had posed no problem for either her or Turo's Murkrow

OH they beat the gym!!! Also I love that she's bonding with Kim over this, it feels right. What an inspired pick for Sada.

Yeah, I figured so. But it's interesting, isn't it? Sometimes you'll look through history and find out that some random guy in Hisui was an ancestor to some other guy in a completely different region...

ahahahha yeah that ancestor gene be crazy, im glad someone brought that up again lol.

« Me? Oh, nothing much. My parents have an antique store, so I grew up surrounded by old trinkets... It's amazing what stuff people sometimes sell or stash away in their attic...

!! Is this canon? If not that seems perfect. Exactly fitting for Raifort.

It doesn't disturb wild Pokémon as much as artificial light would

aaaahhhh I love these little details like this.

So little in fact that the entire moment in time when her people had lived had been named "Prehistory"... Relegated to before "history " had even "started".
That had disappointed her quite a bit.

... oh..... Oh poor Sada, this twisted the knife in my heart. Stop killing me neko.

Now she understood why Raifort had chosen to let her Gastly out: an incorporeal Pokémon like that was perfect for not disturbing the scene.

!! Oh another delightful detail, that makes a lot of sense, I imagine ghosts like this would prove quite useful...

Even if it couldn't show any trace of emotion on its face, there was something in the way it was slowly rotating its head to observe the walls of the cave they were in that made Sada's heart ache.

😭 STOPPPPPPP NO

It raised its head and stared at the carved figures for a long time, unmoving. Its shoulders sagged, and it looked to the ground.

😭😭😭😭😭

« The picture...? Golett is the pre-evolution of Golurk. See?» she explained, pointing to the black and white photograph again. This time, Sada noticed the little description printed underneath.


"Professor Albora Olim the day construction of the Zero Gate started, along with her Golurk."

.... chills. Thats kind of scary, is it a self fufilling prophecy? is it actually just her ancestor, is it her? Oh man oh man

« So with a time machine I can go back and have another birthday party??» Romero asked, eyes wide and breathless just thinking of the possibilities. He could have all the birthday parties he wanted!!

ahahaha I love that, thats so 4-year old. Unlimited paradox birthdays. Now this conjures a mental image of a birthday party but its all Turo, like 20 baby turo's at his 4th birthday.

« What is it?» He groggily asked the small Pokémon. Turo usually slept with his window cracked open, so the Pokémon could come and go and night. He usually stayed up until late, so they kept each other company until he went to sleep.

Oh night owl! I like that, they suit each other very well. City bois who are up late.

« Are you ... are you okay?» she asked.


It took him a long moment to answer.


« ... not really.» he said in a low voice, hesitating a couple of moments before continuing.

WEVE DONE IT FOLKS, WE DID IT!!

Someone finally answers the infamous "are you okay" with honesty. Ground breaking.

But also on a more serious note I do love this as an indicator of how far they've come, and how close they are

« I... I just dreamt about... Home. My family. It still doesn't feel real at times. I keep thinking that I can just... Call them anytime if I want, get on a shuttle and go visit them, but... then it's like I suddenly remember that... they are not... here. » he tried to explain, ending with a sigh.

Turo suddenly shied away from the window, not wanting to see the moon just barely visible through it.

Oh.
I am dense and slow sometimes but It just hit me what he meant, what he was thinking about with the moon. I forgot for a bit he grew up on the moon. Man that would be. So weird huh, seeing the earth out your window, but now always seeing the moon and knowing there's nothing even there yet, ooohhhhhhhhh ow.

They existed as nothing more than memories in his head now, and he was afraid of forgetting even the smallest detail about them. He couldn't share anything about his life with Sada before, but... now... there was nothing stopping him.

Yesssss open up Turo. burdens shared are better that way. aawwwwww

« Mars is that... Other "world", right? And what's a "cousin"?» she asked immediately after, and he laughed.

Its okay Sada, I never know what a cousin is and I have one in my fanfic. I don't think anyone does. /j

Knowing that everything about your life is gone with pretty much no trace left, or that it doesn't even exist yet, and it's literally only in your head now?

They both suck in different ways, but I'm curious what everyone thinks about it!

Infinite pain both ways. I can't actually pick one, ngl, my heart aches at the thought of both.

Spoiler: Chapter 27

Sada frowned. Writing was so complicated. As long as people got the general idea, why did it matter what exact word sounded better? Why were there so many words that pretty much meant the same thing? It was so complicated.

Welcome to the joys of the english language Sada, lol

« So let's see... Someone caught a Flying type Meowth in the South Province-» she said, circling the general area it had been reported.

Missed chance for a flying Lechonk and to make a "when pigs fly" joke, smh /lh

« Yes, we were both quite curious about it. I'm Hassel and he is Brassius.» he said, putting one hand on the other man's shoulder, who simply narrowed his eyes and nodded stiffly.

!!! Them!! Its so much fun to see canon characters a little before the timeline of SV

On each of its two limbs and on its head were clusters of orange and red leaves, similar to the ones found in the trees all around. The leaves fell arranged in extremely long, thin branches all the way to the ground, and made the Pokémon look a bit like a weeping willow... or like it had extremely long hair.

Ohhhh I like this description of grass-tera Sudowoodo

Brassius had already ran inside, and they followed. The more they walked, the more he saw crystal formations cover the walls, until they emerged into an enormous, completely crystallized cave. The Sudowoodo had escaped inside, and looked at the four of them with fury. The tunnel was a dead end, the Pokémon having nowhere else to escape.



« Did it crystallize because it made this place its den...?» Turo wondered out loud. So staying near these crystal formations was the key to changing types...?

This has big MHS "monster retreated to its den" energy, ngl. I love it.

But that wasn't how she had approached fights until know.

I think you mean "until now"

« Kim, use Ember! Breath fire as hard as you can!» she encouraged the Litleo, who took a deep breath and started to breathe little balls of flame towards the Sudowoodo, one after the other, pausing to breathe less and less, until almost a single stream of fire was flowing through the air.

YAY FLAMETHROWER. So proud of Kim, good for you kitty.

« Tera Transformation...? »

Teraformation....

« ... because they stay transformed as long as they are encased in crystal...» he said, a little smile slowly making his way on his face.

OHHHHHH
AHHHHHH

I have to say, I really like this naming scene! I wasn't sure where this conversation was even going at first, but I love it, it feels pretty natural the way people circle around something trying to name it before something almost unrelated can spark inspiration. Also yesss I love that its still got their initials kind of.

« I think you are going to find it interesting... the destination is going to be Kalos this year. »

!!!!!!!! KALOS ARC???? I am HYPE

Four people and four Pokemon and needing to write in a way that feels like everyone is contributing is HARD.

it sounds like a nightmare and I don't blame you; but fwiw I thought you did a solid job here. Everyone contributed and it felt like a good staregy, not anything insane but good teamwork.

Spoiler: 28-30

« You could just casually go to the Moon?!»


He smiled a little bit as the plane started up his engine and decided to blow the scientist's mind a little more.


« Sure. I was born on it.»

Lol I love snarky Turo like this, its fun to see. I imagine that must be a big shock lol.

« We are, technically, still here as students and teacher. Regrettably, there seemed to be only one single room left. The other is a double... Which will be taken by Turo and me.» he explained as they walked through the cooridors, keys in hand.

There was only one bed trope, ehehhe
They were ROOMMATES

Turo, however, seemed to have gotten the message. There was a long moment of silence, and the hand that was still on her shoulder twitched a little, before he drew her closer and into a short hug. He drew a long breath, and she felt his chin come to rest on the top of her head as she leant into him.


« ... we are both not in our element, are we?» he asked, and she shook her head.

STOP BEING SO CUTE AND BREAKING MY HEART

« 48° latitude North, 2° Longitude East, more or less... this-» he said, turning towards her with the tiniest trace of his usual, almost invisible smile.


« Is where we first met.»


It took her a long moment to realize what he meant, but when she did, it took her breath away. Their very first meeting... of course.


The river.

😭

That's.... that's so sweet,,, augghhh

Also ngl for a second I really thought there would be a pokemon version of the love locks bridge (which I think was taken down irl).

Anyways I LOVE this aaaaa thats so so precious.

« Clavell...?» she asked.


« I have no idea who this "Clavell" guy is.» Clavell answered, raising one hand to flick his pompadour upwards.

CLIVES DEBUT

« It's the fact that you've been thinking about nothing but how different things are "here", and it's destroying you. I can see it on your faces, and I can't stand it! You're both thinking about getting into Area Zero secretly hoping to find a way to go home, don't you? Do you really hate it that much here?» Clavell added, almost choking on those last words, and Turo felt his chest tighten, out of breath as he suddenly felt called out.
By his side, Sada similarly seemed to flinch, eyes wide.

Oh wow this scene was brutal (emotionally). I can tell this is hurting Clavell too, not just seeing them like this but also he's grown to care about them, so if they go home he loses them too.

A pretty roundabout way to address the problem he's hoping to point out but it makes sense for Clavell, he's kinda a weirdo lol. I like it though, its sweet because he clearly cares a lot. I like the tension it causes.

Nothing remained of their language, their traditions, their beliefs and way of life...


Just her.

😭STTOOOPPPP

Apparently, it seemed to like that quite a bit.

AWWWW YES THE MAGNEMITE!!!! Bless. Give it pats!!!

A family with Sada. Something he could have never even dreamed about in his time. Something they could only do if they were together.


« ... yes. » he whispered.


They fell back on the bed as one, bodies intertwined.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🫀❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh man oh man this entire section. Everything leading up to them, to their decision, for what Clavell fought for them to realize, AAUUUUGGHHHHHH
I love this entire Kalos arc, the way going to Sada's home was the catalyst for so much relationship growth, not just for Turo and Sada, but for all three of them. The real struggle of talking about their future coming to the surface, the thing they've been avoiding for so long. The museum scene of Sada getting angry and then breaking down, both of them comforting her, their training happening offscreen as well, everything was chefs kiss.
It really felt like the perfect end to the section, and such an effective use of place and situation to force character development.

They really are going to try and stay and even build a family, and, choose to be together.... WHY is is raining inside and someone chopping onions,,,,

There were two little objects hanging from his earlobes: one was a tiny scale of a bright pink color, while the other looked like a sharp tooth.

!!!!!!!! Oh oh its Huntail/Gorebyss

« Is... is everything okay?» she asked, walking up to it. She didn't really know how to approach the AI, sometimes.
It was a Pokémon, so maybe it liked to get a nice head pat like her own did.
But it was also a stupidly smart artificial intelligence with the capabilities of a supercomputer connected to a time machine, and giving it head pats felt...kind of... patronizing? Awkward?


The Pokémon turned around and fluttered his wings.


« ... Doctor Melany Vega. Apologies. I am in perfect condition. All processes are running smoothly. » it answered. Vega sighed, smiling sadly.

Thanks its not like I needed my heart

Robots/AI experiencing emotions hits me in the feels hard,,,, I love Porygon so much....

Iron Cloak, an evolved form of the Pokémon Mimikyu, looked... pretty much like its ancient counterpart, just with a different disguise. Instead of looking like a Pikachu, it now used more modern materials to make itself what were pretty much little mechanized bodysuits it would then crawl inside.
Right now, it looked like one of the Steelccino that plagued the main entrance of the University.

!!! OH I LOVE THAT
Iron Cloak thats brilliant.

I wonder how this development will add to things?? It looks like we're getting the Indigo Disk Terapagos in the past and now Porygon and Vega and Ortega looking for Romero... Will they end up in the present?
And Mirai/Winged King have both vanished, they must have run into Terapagos or that pool or something, maybe they'll somehow wish their way be drawn into the present then. I am looking forward to that a lot...

So much happening... Man I can't wait!!!

Further thoughts. Now that we're in the "present" currently, I have to once again laud the way the past and future are used in this story. I think a lot of modern media tends to either have a condescending view of the past (outdated, barbaric, unintelligent, etc), or a tendency towards doomer and distopic futures (evil technology, languishing humans, technologic takeover, etc). Or both. This sort of oh we were or are heading towards some terrible outcome.

But constantly this story showcases a more hopeful, neutral or even benevolent look. Like each time period is a different culture, not inherently superior or inferior. There's dangers and pros and cons of every generation, but the people in them are resourceful, good, intelligent and capable, all in their own ways. The past isn't full of dumb bumbling caveman, the future isn't full of cold uncaring psycopaths. The characters(Turo and Sada mostly) experience a lot of culture shock and struggle to adapt, but there's never a sense of trying to make any era look entirely villainized, but simply representing the differences in lifestyle.

My gosh is it refreshing! Fun! I know I gushed about this before but its just so evident and makes this a joy to read. Even with how pokemon are handled, when playing Violet I always felt a sense of unease about this robotic future like it could be some grim landscape devoid of life and living pokemon but the techno-future mon are still very much alive and its very cheering and delightful. All through time, different bonds between humans and pokemon prevail. Makes me all choked up.

I also love how much.... I don't know what to call it so I'll dub it "ambient worldbuilding". So many little details worked into each moment and each area, and the world feels so alive. So much thought goes into each part. Torches kept lit by fire-types because they disturb the wild pokemonless, the trained squawkabilly who compete for speed, smoliv allergies, how different things are made, the places people live (like the moon!), even how people have or have not adapted, like self washing dishes??? and just *chefs kiss*.It makes everything come alive so well.

I really had hoped to catch up on thr whole fic but I think I will not have time to make the weeks deadline, so have a review now and if I have time, I will hopefully read more!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, taking advantage of having jet lag from a cross-country flight in order to squeeze in another review of Timeslip since this next chapter looks a bit shorter than normal, so let’s go ahead and see what we’re dealing with here:

Chapter 8

Spoiler: Line-by-Line

Sada keeps drawing - or "writing", as Turo had called it - the symbols that Turo had taught her, still quite in disbelief at how they worked even hours after the fact, when he’d finished showing her the last symbol. It was just... Such a brilliant and simple idea, she still wasn't sure why the thought had never occurred to her before.

Your first sentence here felt a little unwieldy to me, so I suggested a potential spot that might trim things down a bit.

She didn't have to come up with a drawing for everything she wanted to take notes off anymore! She could just think about it and she now had a way to represent every single thing that came to her mind. And the best thing was, someone else that knew the symbols could understand it without having to ask her about what it meant!

I mean… you could’ve just simplified the symbols into a standardized set and made logographs, but it is a bit easier to memorize 26 versus 5000 symbols, yes. ^^;

She had to teach everyone at the settlement! Nerjik would love it, and the children... even if she didn't have enough paper for everyone, they could use charcoal and practice on rocks, or even just on the ground with sticks... anything would work.

It opened up so many possibilities!

Like the time police bursting in and dragging you off into the future. Even if Turo hasn’t appreciated just how much of a butterfly effect he’s been risking creating here.

« Did you... make all these?» she asked Turo after he had finished teaching her.

You She still had to remember what each symbol sounded like, but it was still much easier as a system than the one she had been using. She just needed a bit of practice. Now she was just doodling - "writing" - random words in all the pages she had already taken notes in, marking all of her little symbols with the actual words they represented, making them much more accurate.

It did have the disadvantage of taking up more space though... maybe she could use a mix of the two methods of taking notes? Drawings for quick immediate notes - on her map, especially- words for anything else...?

Ah yes, Sada is discovering how field notes work. Though that actually makes me wonder if Turo taught her Unown or just the day-to-day writing he used back in the future.

... she would have to think about it.

« ... no. My parents "showed" me.» Turo answered after a moment with a little smile, and Sada blushed slightly. Um... no wonder he had picked up that word, she must have repeated it quite a lot of times in her excitement in that couple of hours.

I mean, yeah, I can fully buy Sada saying variations of “show” a lot when everything about Turo has just been a

moment for her in this story.

He was quite fast at learning new words from her, she had noticed. If she used a single word that he had never heard but the rest of the sentence made sense, he would often pick it up just from context. The same usually went with happened for her regarding for his language, and... oh! Of course! Now she could just write down what some words in his language meant if she was afraid of forgetting it!

This was incredible.

Oh, so that’s how Sada becomes conversant in the “modern” speech used in Paldea.

Like right now, when one word he had said had stuck out to her.

« "Parents"...?» she asked, flipping to an empty page and carefully trying to write down each symbol that made up the word.

« Oh, um...» Turo thought for a moment « "Parents" are... the people that.... make you? » he explains after some hesitation.

I’m admittedly a little unsure if it makes sense to render a word that’s supposed to be foreign to Sada in clear language like this. I suppose one meta sidestep would be that her language has a term for ‘mother’ and ‘father’, but not a collective / neutral word like ‘parents’, but I might just be nitpicking here.

She stared at him. She had understood him, probably, there weren't many other things she could think of when talking about "making" a person, but he must have thought that she didn't, because he started to think of another way to explain it.

Okay, so I’m probably going to ignore the verb tenses in this particular part from here on out, but is this meant to be happening right now with Sada? Or is this specifically a prior incident that she is recalling? If it’s the latter, you very specifically want to use past verb tense to distinguish it from things happening in the “present day”.

And fails spectacularly at it, getting more and more embarrassed. He points at himself, then at her.

« It's... ah... you know... when a "man" and a "woman"...» now he's raising both hands, and starts... gesticulating wildly, vaguely miming two persons... well, it's either that or they are violently murdering each other and she had actually misunderstood what "parents" was supposed to mean. She has her doubts about that though.

I mean, alternatively, he could’ve looked off at the treeline to see if any of the nearby Pokémon were getting it on, but this is a non-18+ fic, so this will likely more than suffice.

« ... make a...»

Sada just keeps staring at him, trying to suppress a grin from spreading on her face.

It's... incredible how weird Turo could get sometimes. In a good way. For every basic thing he had never seen or couldn't do, it seemed like he knew ten more that she could have never dreamed of... but at the same time, he missed others.

I suppose that’s one way to tell that Sada’s not quite as bashful about sex as Turo is.

It was almost like his mind was so busy racing to the thousand of things he did know that he completely failed to see what was right under his eyes sometimes. Like right now, where the solution to his problem was so incredibly simple.

Sada giggled and started drawing again on the empty page. Two stick figures, with a smaller figure between them. She points to the bigger stick figures, then to the word she had written at the top of the page.

Turo stops his embarrassed sputtering and just stares quietly at the page for a long moment.

Sada: “Well, this is what you meant, right?” ^^;

«... yes. » he nods in a small voice, eyes kind of unfocused in a wide, disbelieving look. Probably wondering how he hadn't thought of just doing that.

It looked like even with writing the drawings were still going to be useful for a while after all. In any case, if his parents had taught him to "write"... was it something that was passed down from father to child? Part of his role as a sciaman... or a "scien-tist", as he had called himself.

Oh, so Sada’s present conception of a scientist at the moment is basically as a scribe, huh? Or at least I think that’s where this is going.

« Are your parents scien-tist ? » she asks, and he turns slightly toward her, raising a single eyebrow with a confused frown.

« No...? » he seems puzzled, like he is trying to figure out how she got to that conclusion.

Well, now she is confused too. This would be so much easier if only Turo was a bit more willing to talk about his people in general, but... everytime she tries to mention them or even steer the conversation in that direction, he clams up completely. Or gives her single word answers that don't really tell her much. Had it been anyone else, she would have been suspicious of him by now, but Turo didn't seem interested in approaching the settlement in any way. Chalo's theory that he was using her to learn their language also didn't look seem that possible plausible to her: she was doing the same with his, after all.

[ ]

IMO, you’re missing some sort of outro note to this scene before you move onto the next one. It might be worth going the route of something like “She supposed there was still much about Turo she had yet to understand.” or something like that.

When Turo stands up to get away as usual, it takes her a second to realize that she is still wearing his cape and she hurries to take it off and give it back to him. It had been fun to wear, so light that she hadn't even noticed it, and the half bags sewn on the front on both sides were pretty useful. She could easily do the same with some of her clothes…

Oh, so this is how she gets her official look in the games, huh?

Turo rips a page out of his notebook, and instead of the usual symbols for day and night that they have been using until now, writes down a couple of words to accompany them.

She takes the piece of paper and reads them aloud: the meaning is obvious even with just the sun and moon drawings, but she is determined to show him that she's going to memorize these symbols perfectly.

« Fo- f-o-ur d-da-y-s... h-e-r-e.» she looks at him for confirmation after she is done, and he gives her a sharp nod.

That actually makes me wonder if there are certain discrepancies between Turo’s visits that Sada will pick up on eventually, since weeks to months pass in between jumps from his end, so if Mesagoza gets snowy winters in his timeline, she presumably might notice things like his skin being paler from being indoors all the time even when it’s not seasonal.

Four days, though... that is no good. She has already been away from her settlement for more than five days. It wasn't uncommon for people to spend days away from the settlement - especially if they were out hunting, that took time - so no one would worry for a couple of days of absence, but... she really needed to get back before they started to wonder if she had been eaten by something after all. Besides, she kind of wanted to go back and tell everyone what she had learned. And about that red creature.

… Sada, how far are you from home here such that you can’t make it there and back in four days? .-.

So she shakes her head and scribbles over the words Turo has written, crossing them out, then adds some more sun and moon symbols.

« Ten days... and...» she hesitates a moment, uncertain. If she could slowly get him to agree to meet her in a place that was... more convenient for her, maybe...?

Turo:

Sada: “Turo, come on. Seriously, how is constantly being out here in the hinterlands with all the killer Pokémon not a giant safety risk for you?”

Where to start, though? They had a couple of common meeting points that she could use by now: the river where they had first met, the little camp she had set up in the woods, this one up the cliff... maybe she could point out a landmark to use as their meeting point.

« ... here? » she takes out her map and points to a place just east to the river where they had first met.

Sada: “You met me there once already, so it should be fine, right?” ^^;

« There are a lot of big rocks here, really tall... and I can start a fire as a signal.» she offers. The smoke would be visible from miles away even if he couldn't find the exact spot she meant. Turo doesn't look particularly convinced about her idea, but he nods slowly after a moment.

Yeeeeeeah, I can already tell that Turo would’ve nixed this proposal outright if Sada articulated that part about why she wanted to meet there.

« Ten days. » he repeats, before turning around to start making his way towards the forest. She watches him slowly get away until he disappears under the cover of the trees - she blinks and suddenly gets up, not sure of what she had seen.

Had there been... a flash of light right there at that moment?

Oh, so Turo’s starting to slip up in front of her. Well, more than he already has been.

« Come oooooon Fluffyhead, moooove--»

Chalo tried to coax the Spark Tail into following her, but for once the creature was being stubborn, preferring to chew calmly on some grass while refusing to budge an inch. Chalo had a rope made of leather in her hand, which was tied to a collar they had put around the creature's neck. Not that it would do much to keep it tied up: if it really wanted to escape, it could just burn the rope with the sparks generated by its wool.

You havea small typo here, and IMO the paragraph here works better off split into two.

« Pleaaaase, just show Sada what you showed me yesterday... » Chalo sighed and sat back down near the fire that was burning at the center of the camp, the beads in her dark hair clinking.

Sada had gone back to the settlement right after Turo had left, and had immediately taken it upon herself to teach the writing symbols to everyone. Her mother had listened politely at first, but hadn't looked that interested in actually learning them.

« I'm too old to move around much anymore, it's not like I will ever need to send a message to someone. Whatever I want to say, I can just say to anyone here. » had been her reasoning.

Well, maybe the time police won’t need to be sicced on Sada after all given that nobody other than Chalo seems to be interested in it.

« But... you could write down anything you wanted. And people could read your words... days, moons and seasons later, learning from them. You could write everything you know about sewing!» Sada had protested, but her mother had just shook her head.

« That's not something that you can teach just with words and symbols. Same with hunting. You can tell someone the best spot to strike a Steady Glacier with a spear, but it won't stop someone from dying if he has never practiced doing it. »

After all, theory and practice are both fairly different from each other. Especially when dealing with a mastodon trying to gore you to death.

That... was true, there were things that you simply couldn't teach, but she had still been a little disappointed in her reaction.

Luckily, other people had looked more interested. The kids - four in total in the whole settlement at the moment, the only ones that had survived until they learned to walk upright and talk - had been begging her to show her how to write all their names. Narjik, the old shaman, had been incredibly eager to learn just like she had thought.

That wasn't surprising, the man had gathered an incredibly vast knowledge of all the local herbs and their various effects in his life, and he knew all of their old stories and legends. He had been looking for a successor, someone to teach everything he knew before he passed on into the next life; this way, his knowledge could be left behind and taught to someone - many people - even after he was gone. He seemed to find comfort in the idea.

Whelp, looks like I jumped the gun on Sada not needing to get TVA’d over introducing literacy to her people after all.

Also, boy did that underlined throwaway deet get dark. Definitely period-appropriate, but definitely a sign of how Sada’s thought process and sensibilities are distinctly not the same of a modern person’s.

Sada herself had learned a lot from him, but she could never take his place as the next shaman... even if Turo seemed to think the opposite.

And she never will due ot the needs of the story. But I suppose that’s a story for another chapter sometime in the future.

She was currently tracing some of the symbols on a flat rock near the fire, using a stick of wood that had been left to harden in the ashes the night before and some ash. When she had covered the whole thing in symbols, she would wipe the ash from the rock to start again. Right beside her, to her left, Narjik was observing intently and slowly writing down every symbol she explained.

He wore clothes not unlike those of everyone else, with different layers of furs to protect against the cold, but the markings painted all over his face, neck and arms in black tint, even with the latter not being visible at the moment, showed his status to everyone else in the group. His hair that was turning almost completely grey was styled in an elaborate long braid that went way past his broad shoulders.

This paragraph feels long enough that it’s probably worth investigating places to cut it up into two. Though you also had a small typo with “against”.

Chalo, on the other hand, looked much more interested in talking about the guy himself than whatever he had taught her.

« Sooo... You've spent quite some time with this Terg guy now.» she chuckled, giving up on getting Fluffyhead to listen to her and picking up a stick of her own to copy her.

« Not... really. He always leaves as soon as it gets dark. Comes and goes every couple of days. » Sada doesn't even bother correcting her on the name anymore - mostly because she is pretty sure she is doing it on purpose at this point.

I actually wonder if Turo will get to meet the rest of Sada’s tribe properly sometime before his days time-tripping get cut short, or if that will wind up becoming a “what could have been” moment.

« Wait, what? » Chalo said turning to look at her, surprised. « I thought you were spending night and day with this guy by no- Fluffyhead nooo » she wailed when the fluffy creature decided to approach her after all and flop down right over the rock she was writing on, ash sticking all over its puffy wool.

It looked at the humans, sniffed the ground and let out a "Mareeeep". Chalo started to absentmindedly pet it, trying to get the ash off.

Ah yes, Fluffyhead has now literally become a black sheep.

« I was also under the impression that you were visiting his... camp, or group. » Narjik spoke up, eyes fixed on the "j" he had scribbled with ash. There wasn't enough space on the rock to write his name completely, so he wiped it and started again, smaller this time.

[ ]


« No, I... I don't know where he lives.»

[ ]


« Just follow him?» Chalo proposed, before there was a zap and she let out a little yelp, shaking her hand and glaring at the creature.

« Don't burn me, I'm trying to clean you up!»

A couple moments where it’d probably have made sense to elaborate on some combination of Sada and Chalo’s reactions to each other. Though I see that Fluffyhead gets right to the point when it’s in a “no touchy” mood.

« ...eep » it lowered its head and bumped its nose into her hand, nuzzling it.

« I don't think he did it on purpose.» Sada offered petting the creature, trying to steer the conversation away from Turo.

Unfortunately, the shaman sitting by her other side hadn't been distracted as much as the other girl had. [ ]

« You don't want to follow him.» he stated, calmly. It wasn't a question, and Sada nodded reluctantly after a long moment.

… Or it could just be Static in action. Though it probably makes sense to emphasize the shaman’s reaction a little bit before he starts speaking up and interrupting.

« I know he is hiding something, something he absolutely doesn't want me to see, and of course I want to know what it is... but I'm afraid that if I follow him and he realizes it, he will... just run off elsewhere and never show up here again.»

She thought back to the flash of light between the trees that she had only been able to see because she was looking down on the forest from the top of the hill. It had been over in an instant, and if she had blinked at the wrong moment, she would have missed it entirely.

It was just a nagging suspicion, but she was pretty sure that Turo had caused it, somehow. The flash of light, and his first strange disappearance that had left no footprints anywhere on the ground, or the way his boots and clothes seemed able to just suddenly... stop making any sound every time he walked away from her, after a while.

Maybe it wasn't exactly that. It would be weird considering how much noise they seemed to make at any other time, and they didn't make any sound because he literally disappeared.

The second paragraph here feels like it’s better off formatted as multiple smaller ones as Sada goes through her thoughts and periodically stops and ponders before moving onto the next.

There were creatures that could... "jump" between the air, disappear from one spot and reappear in another, she had seen them a couple of times. Was Turo... able to do the same? Then why didn't he do it when he had been attacked by that Brutal Fang?

It made no sense.

Anyway, that wasn't important right now.

I’m already calling it now, one way or another, Sada is going to wind up seeing Turo poof out into the future at some point.

« And I... don't want that. »

The confession came out at a whisper, almost covered by the crackle of the fire. Sada had seen him just a couple of times, but... there was just so much she wanted to talk about and discover and explore with him, the more she learned his language and he learned hers.

And... she wasn't sure how to explain it, but something about Turo struck her as... so lonely. Or... pained. Maybe it was just because he had told her that he had come here alone.

I mean, it helps that the closest thing that he has to a significant other right now back in the future is his motorcycle lizard. That and he very obviously has been starting to crush on you for at least 3 chapters now.

There were moments where she had caught him deep in thought, eyebrows deeply furrowed and one hand half stroking his chin, and then suddenly when she said something or called out to him that carefully constructed expression would slip away for a moment, revealing a sad half-smile that he would immediately try to hide again.

Yeah, see above. Especially since if / when his superiors get wise to how casually he’s been violating the rules of time travel, he’s likely going to be kicked from his job.

Every time she watched him turn around and walk away, she was a bit afraid that he would never come back again, that he had found another place to stay at. Or that he had decided to go back to his tribe after all. Wherever it was.

And so every time she saw that fluttering white mantle appear through the trees, her heart had started to skip a beat. It was always a bit of a surprise, since they never decided on the time of the day to meet at. [ ]

« Oooh, so that's what this is all about after all.» Chalo grinned with a knowing smile while she finished cleaning up Fluffyhead's pelt.

I think that you probably want some sort of transition back to Chalo speaking from Sada being in her inner thoughts about Turo.

« You've never actually described him, apart from "pale and weird looking". What is he like? ... physically, I mean. » she asked while Narjik went back to focusing on his symbols, not interested.

Sada blushed slightly; no, that's not what it was about at all, she was just curious about him... or was she?

Sada, if you have to ask yourself the question, the answer is obviously ‘no’.

« He is... quite tall. Dark brown hair and eyes...» she started to answer. Her mind though was elsewhere.

She thought back to that moment when she had been inches away from his face, or when he had guided her hand with his, pressing slightly into her side to inch just a bit closer. About the way how he would blush in that adorably awkward way when he was caught by surprise, before trying to compose himself. How he stumbled and tripped over himself while walking with her, but was a bit too prideful and stubborn to just ask her to wait to catch his breath.

Oh, so Sada’s starting to realize that she’s crushing on Turo herself, huh?

Or how he looked proud when she understood a new word that he had just used, or explained something in her notes to him.

« ... and scrawny.» she added after a moment, causing Chalo to frown a moment.

She was petting Fluffyhead again, apparently not minding the possibility of getting hit by another spark. (Then again, he was so fluffy and soft that she could understand her perfectly.)

« So not my type then. Then again, I'm still convinced that he is a creature in disguise- AH!»

The girl screamed, pointing to the Spark Tail, whose tail was... doing as its namesake implied and glowing slightly. After a moment, Fluffyhead's whole body glowed yellow and it released a great arc of pure yellow-white light that hit the ground a dozen meters ahead, charring it black. A great, booming zap made everyone jump and the kids start crying.

Uh… so, Fluffyhead’s not going to be sticking around the tribe grounds for much longer, huh? ^^;

« See? THAT! He did that yesterday! Now if only I could figure out how to make him do it on PURPOSE, he could help me when I go out hunting! » Chalo yelled, pointing excitedly to the creature and then to Sada.

Or maybe not, though I see that Chalo is bumbling her way into learning how to be a Pokémon trainer here.

She carefully observed the creature, whose tail had stopped glowing. So the more it glowed, the more powerful the spark it could create? What had made it glow so much? She thought back to what had just happened. The only difference had been...

« ... what were you doing when he did it yesterday?» she asked, trying to confirm her idea first.

« I had just fed him and was... petting... him... » the dark haired girl's eyes widened slightly.

Chalo started to rub her hand all over Fluffyhead's wool, getting zapped a couple of times. Just like she had thought, the creature's tail started to glow again.

Oh, so Chalo’s been building static electricity in Fluffyhead’s fleece. I actually completely forgot about those Pokédex entries that said that Mareep do more or less exactly this to build up charges.

« Yesss, look at this! » Chalo started to jump up and down, excited, then tried to get Fluffyhead to shoot another stream of yellow light in the same direction.

« Maybe... you could use a word?» Sada offered after a moment.

A simple command. They used various call outs to warn each other about what a certain creature was doing when out hunting, and she had seen various creatures do the same. And Fluffyhead had showed that, while not exactly bright, it was capable of paying attention to what humans were saying. It had learned really quick which words meant "food" directed at him, at least. Maybe it could also learn that doing a certain thing meant praise and pets.

So how long’s it going to take for Chalo to bumble into figuring out how to make Pokéballs next

« Right.» Chalo pointed dramatically towards a tree. « Fluffyhead, KILL THAT!»

... Sada was thinking about something a bit more subtle, but... as long as it worked.

Clearly there’s some teething problems that still need to be worked out. ^^;

After spending a couple of days at the settlement, Sada decided to go back to the cliff to check out the red creature. She had decided to name it "Winged King"; the winged part was obvious, and the King part had come from the fact that it seemed to be the strongest creature in the whole area. What had happened with Chalo and Fluffyhead had given her an idea; she had spent the next two days with Narjik, having him teach her how to carve a simple flute out of wood.

Oh, so that’s where ‘Winged King’ originates in this setting. Though I wonder if the other official Paradox ‘mons will also make appearances in Sada’s time.

She stepped into the place where she had been leaving food for the creature in the past days; the nest had disappeared completely, with the creatures that had lived in it probably deciding to move somewhere else now that a predator like Winged King was prowling around.

Sada: “Which… uh… I should probably be more worried about, but it at least the Winged King seems to have put two and two together that it won’t get free food if it eats me?” ^^;

She quietly left some berries, strips of dried meat, and even one egg for it, then brought the flute to her lips and played a single, long note. She waited for a couple of seconds, then did it again; nothing moved all around, the forest almost unnaturally quiet. By experience, she knew that was usually a sign that something big and powerful was scaring everything else away. Which meant that Winged King was somewhere around here. Sada quietly left, repeating the same little ritual for the next couple of days, always at the same time of the day.

Wait, but why a flute, though?

She wanted to see if Winged King was smart enough to associate the sound of the flute with her and the one who had left it food.

Oh. Oh. That’s actually really clever there.

The fourth day, it was already waiting for her by the tree, calmly sitting on its hind legs.

Ah yes, that’s certainly familiar from the game cutscenes.

Sada froze, her heart beating wild; this wasn't like approaching something like Fluffyhead. Sure, every creature was deadly to humans, but Fluffyhead didn't have it in its nature to attack something if not to defend itself. It was meek and shy, while Winged King was most definitely the opposite.

… Wait, implying that it’s the Adamant Koraidon? As in that Koraidon from the games?

But if it wanted to hurt her, it would have done so already. She kept repeating herself that while she approached it, playing a single note on the flute - it perked up at that, it definitely had learned what it meant. She gave it everything that was left in her smaller bag. It sniffed the air and got up, letting out a little "gyaaa" while it got closer. Sada reached her hand out, arm trembling slightly, only to pull it back when it growled.

Well that’s a sign that we’re leaning on the English localization right now, since I can think of one offhand where the ‘dons just straight-up do anime-speak for their cries.

All right, all right... she got the message. Little steps.

She managed to get closer while it was eating by approaching it from the side. While it was still focused on eating, she reached her hand out again.

Hesitated.

Gave a silent prayer to her ancestors, and then touched the red scales on its neck.

Well, someone’s a daredevil there.

For a moment, it didn't react; still busy stuffing its face. Or, more probably, it just didn't care because it had no reason to fear her. What could she even do? If she was quick, she could get maybe one good stab of her spear in before getting absolutely torn apart.

After that single moment, it turned one of its bright orange eyes towards her, followed a second later by the rest of the head turning towards her. She quickly moved her hand away, taking a step back, but it followed her hand with its eyes and sniffed it slowly.

Sada froze again, hand half-raised, unsure on what to do. Move? Step back? Approach it again?

Another paragraph that probably works better cut up into a few pieces.

Winged King seemed to decide for her, closing its eyes and quietly pushing against her hand with its head for a brief moment, before backing up and getting back to eating.

She was left staring at it in quiet awe.

I mean, at least it’s more dignified than the behavior from the Indigo Disk outro cutscene? ^^;

Another couple of days later, and Sada realized that her plan with the flute had worked maybe a little too well, because now Winged King comes crashing through the forest every time she plays the flute, as long as its close enough to hear it.

Koraidon: “... Food?”

And "crashing through the forest" was literal: she had been playing the flute quietly to herself one night and the creature had pretty much dropped out of the sky in front of her a couple of minutes later, scaring her half to death.

Ah yes, just like that one cutscene from the games.

« You can't just show up every time and eat all my food.» she sighed quietly, watching it sniff around the entire camp, then look at her expectantly.

Um… no, considering the alternative and how you don’t know for sure that Koraidon’s moved onto seeing you as “friend, not food”, you should probably just let him have the food, Sada.

With her notebook out she was busy furiously adjusting her drawing of the creature, now that it was actually staying relatively still in front of her.

After realizing that there was no food for him (her? She had no idea how to check), Winged King walked up to her and laid down behind her, starting to snore loudly after a while. It didn't budge in the slightest even when she cautiously pressed her hand against its scales, admiring them up close.

Oh, I suppose that’s one way to tell that Koraidon’s made the “friend not food” distinction after all.

With a satisfied smile, she went back to taking notes, quietly wondering what Turo's reaction would be to this the next time they met. Just a couple of days more.

Just wait until you meet his motorcycle, lady

Alright, made it to the end of what was a cute little chapter, which I take had the two primary purposes of A: starting to get Sada to realize she has feelings for Turo, B: getting Sada to start forming a bond with Koraidon, C: start foreshadowing that Sada’s on borrowed time as she starts getting into the danger zone of historical anachronism. Jury’s out on how accurate C will turn out to be, but the chapter seemed to pull off A and B quite well, and it was charming just starting to see Sada make the connections between the various bits and pieces of the world and the knowledge Turo shared with her together. Oh, also, Koraidon was adorable in his appearances, so that was a plus, too.

In terms of weaknesses, there were some polish issues that I noticed with this chapter. The normal quibbles about wording and paragraph formatting that have kinda lingered with this story thus far were back again. That said, I noticed in this chapter that there were a number of out-and-out typos, both from inadvertent word substitutions (e.x. “it’s” instead of “its”) and in words that were missing letters here and there. It would probably make sense at a slower season of life to take some time to step through things and iron those little errors out. There were also a couple moments where I felt it would’ve been nice to get an extra sentence or two of narration to do things like get into the heads of the characters or else to better transition to when we’re focusing on a different character, but I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether or not to do that or not.

Hope the feedback was helpful @Nekodatta . This story’s been a fun ride so far, and time permitting, I’ll be back for at least one more chapter from it before Review Blitz ends.

 

[CuteBunnyGirl]

I've read the first 5 chapters so far and they're fun! The premise and the story so far are both interesting, and the little details are fun to read, even those that don't have much of an impact on the main story. There are a couple of typos in some places but not enough to deter my enjoyment in the story. Overall, it's a fun story so far, and I hope it continues to be fun both for you to write and for me to read.
By the way, the typo I was talking about is this:

Were would you even get true leather these days?

It should be where, not were. But it's not that big of a deal.