The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Ain't we waiting for Lee to get back to us on something? I'm gonna hold off 'til then. Uh, how long do we have until..."

"Lee already got back to us to clear Nilam fer the murders so far. And, uh... six 'hours', but hours sure do fly by here..."

 

[Fusion]

Lee cracked his neck, his train of thought long since parted from the station. "I'm not gonna stress over this more than I need to. Which shouldn't fucking be at all." He put his head in his paws and sighed. "Intern or not, you're part of the committee, so fuck you, Caine. But let me ask you one thing. Can you tell me if Squirt is actually alive? Without a shadow of doubt?"

 

[Persephone]

[Unit001_101110110 Has Consistently Targeted And Been Targeted By UnitDesignate_Nilam and UnitDesignate_Mia, Even Before They Gained PrelimaryStatus_Naughty. Alliance More Probable Between UserDesignate_Mia and UserDesignate_Nilam Than Against Them.]

 

[Tanuki]

Gen perked up at Jesse's words.

It's definitely not me, Mia's gone, Nilam's already taken, so the only candidate left must be...

"Nocitlalin!" he shouted!

"I appreciate the spunk, kid, but I kinda need a story to report here."

Lee cracked his neck, his train of thought long since parted from the station. "I'm not gonna stress over this more than I need to. Which shouldn't fucking be at all." He put his head in his paws and sighed. "Intern or not, you're part of the committee, so fuck you, Caine. But let me ask you one thing. Can you tell me if Squirt is actually alive? Without a shadow of doubt?"

"...I'm not at liberty to say."

 

[Chibi Pika]

"Teeeechnically our dear Noci doesn't even need to be lying about her gift at all! That sort of disruption would be just as useful Naughty or Nice, wouldn't you say?"

"But that's beside the point. I'm supposed to be building a case, aren't I? And since we aren't allowed to overlap, I'll go ahead and make my case for voting out that scoudrel Palkia:

- Apparently had Santa's bag this entire time
- Prime suspect for killing santa, could easily make Squirt disappear.
- Hasn't even used their gift yet, like what's up with that
- Has been deliberately contrary and unhelpful all day
- Shares the same species as the god of space that set up this mountain retreat in the first place
- Ate most of the tacos
- Hasn't shared any cookies, unlike Darkwhite

The spatial one's grin darkens. "Let's just hope this isn't one of those murder games where guessing wrong means everyone loses."

 

[Fusion]

"...I'm not at liberty to say."

Lee let his head hang back and inhaled. "Alright... Great. Now I'm not even sure if they're actually dead," he sighed. "If Squirts not dead, then clearly nobody killed him. That's just it..." It would take a load off of Lee's shoulders if that were true. It's not like he saw them get killed. And magic doors don't always lead to the afterlife. All that effort, all that weakness he showed, was it all over some... misunderstanding? Were they actually in danger? Was Santa Claws even fucking murdered? "I need a drink..."

 

[IFBench]

"U-uh...maybe Nocitlalin rammed Squirt awake during the night, and coerced them to open their present early?" Gen suggested, as he finished setting up Monopoly.

 

[Tanuki]

"U-uh...maybe Nocitlalin rammed Squirt awake during the night, and coerced them to open their present early?" Gen suggested, as he finished setting up Monopoly.

"There ya go, kid. Good on ya. Glad to see you out of your shell a bit."

"Teeeechnically our dear Noci doesn't even need to be lying about her gift at all! That sort of disruption would be just as useful Naughty or Nice, wouldn't you say?"

"But that's beside the point. I'm supposed to be building a case, aren't I? And since we aren't allowed to overlap, I'll go ahead and make my case for voting out that scoudrel Palkia:

- Apparently had Santa's bag this entire time
- Prime suspect for killing santa, could easily make Squirt disappear.
- Hasn't even used their gift yet, like what's up with that
- Has been deliberately contrary and unhelpful all day
- Shares the same species as the god of space that set up this mountain retreat in the first place
- Ate most of the tacos
- Hasn't shared any cookies, unlike Darkwhite

The spatial one's grin darkens. "Let's just hope this isn't one of those murder games where guessing wrong means everyone loses."

"...Dude, are you—whatever okay. It's not like they're paying me anyway."

Lee let his head hang back and inhaled. "Alright... Great. Now I'm not even sure if they're actually dead," he sighed. "If Squirts not dead, then clearly nobody killed him. That's just it..." It would take a load off of Lee's shoulders if that were true. It's not like he saw them get killed. And magic doors don't always lead to the afterlife. All that effort, all that weakness he showed, was it all over some... misunderstanding? Were they actually in danger? Was Santa Claws even fucking murdered? "I need a drink..."

"...Go on."

 

[IFBench]

"There ya go, kid. Good on ya. Glad to see you out of your shell a bit."

Gen breathed a small sigh of relief, and a small smile emerged on his face.

"S-so, should we begin?" Gen asked, trying to put his scalchop back on his chest with one arm.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

[Unit001_101110110 Has Consistently Targeted And Been Targeted By UnitDesignate_Nilam and UnitDesignate_Mia, Even Before They Gained PrelimaryStatus_Naughty. Alliance More Probable Between UserDesignate_Mia and UserDesignate_Nilam Than Against Them.]

"Yer claimin' that you've voted fer the two of 'em and they've voted fer you. But actually, Nilam's been pretty keen to vote Mia since early on, as they pointed out already. Pressure's on, now, pal. I've been reviewin' my notes, and Nilam has pushed substantially harder than your good self to find the killer in the early stages of this investigation. I don't like all their reasonin', but it's somethin'."

"Teeeechnically our dear Noci doesn't even need to be lying about her gift at all! That sort of disruption would be just as useful Naughty or Nice, wouldn't you say? [...] I'll go ahead and make my case for voting out that scoudrel Palkia."

"Are all legendaries like this? Are y'all... fuckin' like this? Goddamnit, no, I will not be votin' fer ya. But yer right about Nocitlalin, yeah."

"I need a drink..."

"Motherfucker, same. Let's go."
Jesse sighed.

 

[Fusion]

"...Go on."

"Go on what?" Lee glared at the screen again. "Drink myself into a coma or explain how the people we thought were dead, that I thought were dead... aren't?"

 

[Namohysip]

"I can enchant alcohol to make it taste like cyan if you want," Darkwhite offered.

 

[Fusion]

"Motherfucker, same. Let's go."
Jesse sighed.

Lee nodded, doing those mental gymnastics to send himself to the bar, alongside Jesse. The bar's simplistic design was somewhat comforting, but Lee didn't bother to look around. He grabbed himself a bottle of scotch, a couple of shot glasses, and poured some out for him and Jesse. "Here's to having a stressful 'vacation,'" Lee chuckled.

"I can enchant alcohol to make it taste like cyan if you want," Darkwhite offered.

"Fucking sure, I always wanted to know what colors tasted like," Lee grinned.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"I can enchant alcohol to make it taste like cyan if you want," Darkwhite offered.

"I'll give that a go, sure. Sounds like fun. You drinkin' with us, ya lil' devil?"

 

[Persephone]

[Ramming Suspected Killer With No Information Backing Theory Is Dangerous;
Unit001_101110110 Refrained;
UnitDesignate_Nilam Did Not]

 

[Tanuki]

"Go on what?" Lee glared at the screen again. "Drink myself into a coma or explain how the people we thought were dead, that I thought were dead... aren't?"

"Either, but the latter first. Tell me how nobody could have kidnapped Squirt. Need I remind you he is a highly trained agent?"

 

[Namohysip]

"Yeah, totally!" Darkwhite said, conjuring a bottle larger than she was, in addition to a few glasses. "Darkwhite enchantment time! Let's gooooo!"

She flashed a malevolent black color, and then a jittery white took over, channeling into the bottle, which now glowed. She poured the sparkling alcohol into the first bottle and passed it to Jesse, then another for Lee.

 

[IFBench]

"A-anyone else want to join us?" Gen asked, as he chose the Growlithe piece for himself.

 

[Tanuki]

"A-anyone else want to join us?" Gen asked, as he chose the Growlithe piece for himself.

"Can I be the thimble?"

 

[IFBench]

"Uh, s-sure!" Gen said, separating the thimble from the other pieces.