The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[Tanuki]

"When do we start?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse sipped at the 'cyan' drink, grinned, and downed it.

"Tastes fuckin' cyan," he said, with satisfaction.

He snapped his fingers, and the pewter hat piece levitated out of the box and onto the board.

"As for Noci, one could easily make a case fer either strategy. It ain't conclusive evidence of alignment, just conjecture."

 

[Namohysip]

"I don't like games with a lot of rules," Darkwhite said with a frown. "This one have a lot of those?"

 

[Fusion]

She flashed a malevolent black color, and then a jittery white took over, channeling into the bottle, which now glowed. She poured the sparkling alcohol into the first bottle and passed it to Jesse, then another for Lee.

Lee downed his first shot before taking the bottle Darkwhite, uh, made. He poured it into a glass, swirling a bit before putting it to his lips. His fur stood on end, then he chugged the rest of the glass without hesitation. "I-Is that cyan?!" he tittered. "I feel like I can almost see blue from drinking that!"

"Either, but the latter first. Tell me how nobody could have kidnapped Squirt. Need I remind you he is a highly trained agent?"

Thanks to his high of experiencing a color for the first time, Lee allowed that aggravating intern's line to pass him by. "Are you at all surprised that, in a realm where everything is taking up the exact same space at the exact same time, someone would get lost between them or in some part of it that they can't reach the other parts from?" he poured himself another glass of Darkwhite's Cyan-tasting alcohol and downed it in a second. "Now, I'm no god of space, but having an entire mounting take up the same space as a room is sure to have it's unintended side effects."

 

[Tanuki]

"God, I wish I could drink on the job. You lot, the Room, that %*$*#$% $*#(ing raichu that $*#*ed up my voice, I get to watch everyone drink all day, but a sip myself? No."

Lee downed his first shot before taking the bottle Darkwhite, uh, made. He poured it into a glass, swirling a bit before putting it to his lips. His fur stood on end, then he chugged the rest of the glass without hesitation. "I-Is that cyan?!" he tittered. "I feel like I can almost see blue from drinking that!"



Thanks to his high of experiencing a color for the first time, Lee allowed that aggravating intern's line to pass him by. "Are you at all surprised that, in a realm where everything is taking up the exact same space at the exact same time, someone would get lost between them or in some part of it that they can't reach the other parts from?" he poured himself another glass of Darkwhite's Cyan-tasting alcohol and downed it in a second. "Now, I'm no god of space, but having an entire mounting take up the same space as a room is sure to have it's unintended side effects."

"Oh, we've already checked the fourth dimensional plane. Hm, do I have to explain that? Whatever. It's not like any of this place makes any sense to anybody. It just works and they don't pay me to ask why. We know he's not within the same plane or planar structure as you all. Do you know any way Squirt could have accidentally escaped?"

 

[IFBench]

"Let's start," Gen said, most of the uncertainty gone from his voice, as he placed the Growlithe on Go. "And there's a lot of rules."

 

[Tanuki]

"Let's start," Gen said, most of the uncertainty gone from his voice, as he placed the Growlithe on Go. "And there's a lot of rules."

"Are we rolling for order or going with house rules?"

 

[IFBench]

"Game corner rules. Roll for order," said Gen, taking one of the dice with a nub, and rolling it.

 

[Tanuki]

"Game corner rules. Roll for order," said Gen, taking one of the dice with a nub, and rolling it.

Once Gen's dice settled long enough for everyone to view the number, it flipped again. "Well, three's not terrible."

 

[Fusion]

"Oh, we've already checked the fourth dimensional plane. Hm, do I have to explain that? Whatever. It's not like any of this place makes any sense to anybody. It just works and they don't pay me to ask why. We know he's not within the same plane or planar structure as you all. Do you know any way Squirt could have accidentally escaped?"

"Everytime one of us dies or disappears or whatever, the others wake up to an opened present with either coal for whoever's been..." Still not going to say naughty. "...bad, and an actual present for those that weren't. And by those I mean just Mewtwo as he was the innocent one to die. Disappear. Kinda miss his stuck up attitude."

"I get to watch everyone drink all day, but a sip myself? No."

"Wait, you've been watching us?" Lee blinked. "...Like in the middle of the night or..?" This was an important question because Lee was quite fond of having his personal time not watched by people or creatures he didn't know, and would frankly apologize to anyone who might've seen him after hours. After, of course, beating them senseless for being nosy.

 

[Tanuki]

"Everytime one of us dies or disappears or whatever, the others wake up to an opened present with either coal for whoever's been..." Still not going to say naughty. "...bad, and an actual present for those that weren't. And by those I mean just Mewtwo as he was the innocent one to die. Disappear. Kinda miss his stuck up attitude."
"Presents? We didn't schedule any presents, and none of the presents you all could've brought can do anything like that. What are you talking about?"


"Wait, you've been watching us?" Lee blinked. "...Like in the middle of the night or..?" This was an important question because Lee was quite fond of having his personal time not watched by people or creatures he didn't know, and would frankly apologize to anyone who might've seen him after hours. After, of course, beating them senseless for being nosy.

"What? No. I'm the day shift. Not sure who watches at night, if anyone does. Not like you all can leave your rooms during the storm anyway."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse continued to put back drinks while compulsively sorting his monopoly money via telekinesis.

"Don't forget t'get yer votes in, motherfuckers. Still Noci from me."

 

[Fusion]

"...Who's on the night shift? And can you bring them here?" Lee asked. "Hell, just ask them what the hell's been happening. They'd know more than us."

 

[Tanuki]

"...Who's on the night shift? And can you bring them here?" Lee asked. "Hell, just ask them what the hell's been happening. They'd know more than us."

An uncharacteristic silence followed as well as furious clicking and violent shuffling of papers. "Um. So, it looks like nobody's on the night shift since it's impossible for anyone to leave their room with Squirt... on... guard. Still, we inspected the presents everyone brought, had to make sure they were all identical for the white elephant to, y'know. Nobody likes knowing who gave them a rotten egg for Chri—the holiday celebration."

 

[Fusion]

"Your committee is fucking pathetic."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"I can't believe I'm hearin' this."

Jesse summoned another bottle to the bar counter.

 

[Tanuki]

"Your committee is fucking pathetic."

"Well, yeah, but they pay pretty well. Oh, Palkia! Did you create more presents for everyone? I missed it, but there was apparently a hundredth of a percent of a chance. Your sack shouldn't allow any such anomalies to happen, though. Just to double check, we aren't talking about the black presents everyone brought, right?"

 

[Chibi Pika]

"The black presents are over there, safe and sound! To be honest, I'm not sure what presents even are in this sack." Palkia fished around in the bag and pulled out... another copy of Monopoly. "...huh."

 

[Tanuki]

"The black presents are over there, safe and sound! To be honest, I'm not sure what presents even are in this sack." Palkia fished around in the bag and pulled out... another copy of Monopoly. "...huh."

"What presents are Lee talking about, then?"

 

[Fusion]

"What presents are Lee talking about, then?"

"The ones under the tree, the opened ones," Lee pointed out, another bottle already in paw. "See? This one for Mia is opened, there's coal in it because she was na-- bad, and she's gone. Mewtwo's was just a large box with toys in it, and he was innocent. And the same is for Squirt's, I believe."