The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[Tanuki]

Prophet	Steve Jobs Beldum	Odysseus	Ishmael	Romulus
Suspect	Nilam Lee (until proper testimony)	Lee	Lee	Lee

 

[IFBench]

As soon as he saw Lee appear under his "prophet name", words hurriedly tumbled out of Gen's mouth. "N-Nickit! Nick it!"

 

[Fusion]

Lee rolled his eyes. "Keep my fucking name there, see if I give a fuck."

That inept Committee was really showing how poorly they were at their job, but Lee didn't care. The votes would probably go towards Nilam, so he would be safe regardless of what that screen says.

"'Until proper testimony' my ass..."

 

[Tanuki]

“Please note that all elected conspirators will be simultaneously eliminated.”

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Please note that refusal to give testimony will implicate you in the conspiracy.

"Fine, I'll testify on Squirt's murder. Or his 'shmurder' if we have to call it something else like we're in some kind of E-rated movie. Squirt's shmurderer is Mia, but she's dead now, so you can't put her on trial for shmurdering him. So, the real question is who enabled Mia's shmurderous tendencies, because they should obviously be charged with criminal negligence. They are, of course, you fucking nitwits. See, the counsel has admitted they use him as, and I quote, a 'child soldier.' Squirt's shmurder is an obvious and easily-foreseeable consequence of that decision, so they should all be fucking charged."

 

[Chibi Pika]

"So, to summarize!" Palkia called out, in between rather large bites of smashed cookies that it had pulled from the sack it was carrying, "Lee would like to accuse Mia since we all know she was guilty, but as she's been removed from the game, she no longer exists as far as past crimes are considered. Gen is accusing Nickit but hasn't got a case yet. Noci has accused Nilam. And as for me..." It paused, chewing on another dubious cookie. "Well, is anything stopping me from accusing myself? After all, I've got Santa's bag, right here! Seems mighty suspicious~"

"Oh, but wait... Squirt already told Lee I didn't do it. Well, it was worth a shot," Palkia said, shrugging exaggeratedly.

 

[Tanuki]

"Fine, I'll testify on Squirt's murder. Or his 'shmurder' if we have to call it something else like we're in some kind of E-rated movie. Squirt's shmurderer is Mia, but she's dead now, so you can't put her on trial for shmurdering him. So, the real question is who enabled Mia's shmurderous tendencies, because they should obviously be charged with criminal negligence. They are, of course, you fucking nitwits. See, the counsel has admitted they use him as, and I quote, a 'child soldier.' Squirt's shmurder is an obvious and easily-foreseeable consequence of that decision, so they should all be fucking charged."

“Please allow your democratically assigned representatives speak for you before voicing your opinion.”

 

[Starlight Aurate]

Tabitha smiled.

 

[Tanuki]

Prophet	Steve Jobs	Odysseus	Romulus	Ishmael
Suspect	Nilam Lee	Palkia Lee	Lee	Lee

 

[Fusion]

"Fine, I'll testify on Squirt's murder. Or his 'shmurder' if we have to call it something else like we're in some kind of E-rated movie. Squirt's shmurderer is Mia, but she's dead now, so you can't put her on trial for shmurdering him. So, the real question is who enabled Mia's shmurderous tendencies, because they should obviously be charged with criminal negligence. They are, of course, you fucking nitwits. See, the counsel has admitted they use him as, and I quote, a 'child soldier.' Squirt's shmurder is an obvious and easily-foreseeable consequence of that decision, so they should all be fucking charged."

“Please note that all elected conspirators will be simultaneously eliminated.”

Lee snapped his jaws and growled. "Fine! I agree with Abigail's statement, so use that as my testimony."

 

[Tanuki]

Lee snapped his jaws and growled. "Fine! I agree with Abigail's statement, so use that as my testimony."

“Please do not bear false witness. A trial cannot proceed without the defendant present, therefore anyone absent cannot have been the perpetrator.”

 

[Fusion]

"And you're trying to say you aren't..." Lee blinked. His glare sharpened. "Who are you?"

 

[Tanuki]

"And you're trying to say you aren't..." Lee blinked. His glare sharpened. "Who are you?"

Exclusively Lee saw the face of the peppy red plumber pop on screen to say, “It’s a me, Mario!”

 

[Fusion]

"I'm talking to you, you epitome of poor life decisions," Lee huffed. "I'm talking about the one that--" he cleared his throat, "Talks like this."

He coughed, holding his throat. "Fuck it stings to do that..."

 

[IFBench]

"U-uh..."

What should I say about Nickit?

Maybe I should ask for advice? But what if that gets me shocked?

...and what the heck is an Nintendo character doing here?

 

[Tanuki]

“Bro, I’m just the messenger. Why you gotta make fun of my speech impediment? Dick.”

 

[Fusion]

“Bro, I’m just the messenger. Why you gotta make fun of my speech impediment? Dick.”

"I couldn't give a shit about how you speak, just tell me who you are."

 

[Tanuki]

“Elbert Caine. What’s it to ya?”

 

[Fusion]

"And you're a part of the committee?"

 

[IFBench]

"U-uh, can my suspect be changed to Nickit?" Gen asked. I...really don't want Lee to die.