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The White Elephant in the Room Playground

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
"Regardless of whose dimensional bullshit this is, it has turned me into a fucking ralts, and therefore I'm going to need a boost to get up to the lift seat. Can someone lend me a han- a... paw?"
Jesse gave Abigail a boost without hesitation, scowling up a storm at Zeke the whole time.
Zeke quirked a brow. “Are you sure you want to go to the top of the mountain without any equipment?” He pointed to the bright, flashing, neon sign of Rillaboom Rentals down by their cabin. “You should be able to get anything you need there.”
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
Zeke thought back to their conversation in a desperate attempt to make sense of this absolutely unhinged rant. “Wait a minute,” he mumbled, raising a claw with half a confused smirk.
the intern on the radio, Elbert
“Don’t tell me you mean Elbert Caine. Please tell me you have any Elbert other than the President of this Arcean Universe written into this insane fantasy of yours.” He looked about ready to beg on his knees.
 

unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/she
Partners
  1. purrloin-salem
  2. sneasel-dusk
  3. luz-companion
  4. brisa-companion
  5. meowth-laura
  6. delphox-jesse
  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
Jesse looked more haggard now than at any time since his arrival.

"We don't fuckin' know who the president is, dipshit. We ain't from this universe. But the Committee intern who's been speakin' with us is a fella named Elbert Caine, yeah. I figure this is more time bullshit, given the nature of this experiment and seein' as you and he can't hear each other..."
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
Abigail blinked. I had been under the impression that that place was where I was going...

"I'm going to the top of the mountain? I guess I should get some, then."

She departed for the rentals.
With the lift on, the front door sign shined with “open” in neon almost to bright to see. It took a moment for the blinding light to let anyone see the, well lit but darker than the sun interior. Once eyes adjusted, it was very clear why this rillaboom’s name was Rally.

The store had three registers, Rally moving so fast that his afterimages stood behind each one. But, of course, they weren’t just standing. Every afterimage picked a unique muscle group to flex and show off. Could rillaboom even learn double team?

“How!” shouted the first.

“May!” hollered the second.

“I!” yelled the third before finally, they dissipated into one standing barely two feet away from Abigail.

Posing. “Help you?” He mercifully broke his pose to look down at her, squatting to even their eye lines that much more. “You ride chopsticks, a spear, or a board?” he asked, no intention on waiting for an answer. “Doesn’t matter what. I’ll have you carving black diamonds like bunny hills in half an hour. How’s about we get you fitted miss...?”
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
Jesse looked more haggard now than at any time since his arrival.

"We don't fuckin' know who the president is, dipshit. We ain't from this universe. But the Committee intern who's been speakin' with us is a fella named Elbert Caine, yeah. I figure this is more time bullshit, given the nature of this experiment and seein' as you and he can't hear each other..."
“Oh, come on,” Elbert whined. “Who told you about the president thing? It’s not like it’s a position that matters. And I wasn’t even the least popular guy in my uni. If anyone deserved it, Ned did. Stupid kid had a dumb “college survival guide” and even I picked ok him. He deserved the presidency way more than I did—nobody liked him.” The earnest regret of a man who held public office soaked his voice.
 

unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/she
Partners
  1. purrloin-salem
  2. sneasel-dusk
  3. luz-companion
  4. brisa-companion
  5. meowth-laura
  6. delphox-jesse
  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
"Elbert, Zeke, I am presently tryin' to converse with both of you total assholes at once and if I have to do it much longer I will flip my goddamn shit. Can you make my life a modicum less strenuous and at least consent to acknowledging that the other motherfucker actually exists, albeit sufficiently displaced in spacetime that y'can't perceive each other?"
 

Shiny Phantump

Through Dream, I Travel
Location
Hallownest
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. sylveon
  2. absol-mega
  3. silvally-psychic
  4. ninetales-phantump
  5. cosmog
  6. gallade-phantump
  7. ceruledge-phantump
Posing. “Help you?” He mercifully broke his pose to look down at her, squatting to even their eye lines that much more. “You ride chopsticks, a spear, or a board?” he asked, no intention on waiting for an answer. “Doesn’t matter what. I’ll have you carving black diamonds like bunny hills in half an hour. How’s about we get you fitted miss...?”
Abigail shrugged. "I am, for reasons I cannot explain and only partially understand myself, supposed to summit this mountain. I have been told to get equipment before doing that. What do I need?"
 

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
"Why do you need equipment to go up that mountain? In fact, why did we need the lift to get up there, I know how to climb, and Palkia probably could have thrown us to the top from here," Lee said, scratching his cheek. "This all kinda feels like something we stumbled on for the hell of it..."

"I wanna find more stuff..."
 

unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/she
Partners
  1. purrloin-salem
  2. sneasel-dusk
  3. luz-companion
  4. brisa-companion
  5. meowth-laura
  6. delphox-jesse
  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
"Findin' stuff's all well'n good, but we're still not free of our predicament and we oughta decide whether we even reckon there're more Naughty motherfuckers to root out. As far as I can tell, it's just Nice and Survivors right now. Anyone think any different?"
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
"Why do you need equipment to go up that mountain?
Zeke now knew for certain he was speaking with extra terrestrial life. “It is a ski lift that takes you to the top of a ski mountain with ski slopes. I theorize this mountain exists so that we may ski or board down it. Do you have an alternative hypothesis?”
Abigail shrugged. "I am, for reasons I cannot explain and only partially understand myself, supposed to summit this mountain. I have been told to get equipment before doing that. What do I need?"
Rally’s posture deflated into despair before reaching out a paw, desperate for salvation. “Your sights are shorted, doll. That mountain’s got just one top, but every way to go down.” He looked up with a judging glare of desperation. “You really gonna stop at the moon on your way to the sun?”
Can you make my life a modicum less strenuous and at least consent to acknowledging that the other motherfucker actually exists, albeit sufficiently displaced in spacetime that y'can't perceive each other?

Zeke rolled his eyes. Were they still on this experiment fantasy? Were they really going to make him play along with their pretend conversation with the President of the universe? “All it takes to overcome a displacement like that is switching both outputs to stereo. You must really be invested in this president of the universe delusion if you actually made him stupid enough not to know that.”
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. lucario-shiny
  5. incineroar-starr
"Findin' stuff's all well'n good, but we're still not free of our predicament and we oughta decide whether we even reckon there're more Naughty motherfuckers to root out. As far as I can tell, it's just Nice and Survivors right now. Anyone think any different?"
"It's certainly possible," Palkia mused. "I'd had my suspicions after the Rotom opted to end the day early rather than attempt to defend themselves. I'm also still rather interested to hear what sort of gift Tabitha's got, as he's one of the few that hasn't come clean."
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
Abigail shrugged. "Everyone I've scanned has returned clean results. I suspect there's a trick that allows someone to evade investigation. The results of my scans with the Lens of Nia aren't worth much anymore."
“Nah, doll, nah,” sighed Rally. He put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. “You don’t gotta live life like that. Your worth’s right in front of you, waiting for you to slip them slopes.”
 

unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/she
Partners
  1. purrloin-salem
  2. sneasel-dusk
  3. luz-companion
  4. brisa-companion
  5. meowth-laura
  6. delphox-jesse
  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
“All it takes to overcome a displacement like that is switching both outputs to stereo. You must really be invested in this president of the universe delusion if you actually made him stupid enough not to know that.”

Jesse chewed his cheek and frowned.

"Alright. Alright. Let's do an experiment of our own, shall we? Zeke, what can I ask Elbert that would demonstrate to you that he's another livin' person? And Elbert, if y'ain't already satisfied by yer soul signature fuckery, what would do the reverse fer you? Incidentally, this Zeke fella says you oughta overcome the displacement by switching both outputs to stereo, and he reckons yer a fuckin' moron fer not knowin' that. Sound right t'you, motherfucker?"

He sighed and cracked his knuckles idly. "Incidentally, gang, I've been workin' on a theory fer a while now that openin' yer present and vanishin' gets you the fuck outta this whackjob experiment. I don't fancy testin' my hypothesis by volunteerin' fer it, but... Let's just say I'm open-minded about the truth we'll end up uncoverin'."
 

Shiny Phantump

Through Dream, I Travel
Location
Hallownest
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. sylveon
  2. absol-mega
  3. silvally-psychic
  4. ninetales-phantump
  5. cosmog
  6. gallade-phantump
  7. ceruledge-phantump
Rally’s posture deflated into despair before reaching out a paw, desperate for salvation. “Your sights are shorted, doll. That mountain’s got just one top, but every way to go down.” He looked up with a judging glare of desperation. “You really gonna stop at the moon on your way to the sun?”
It took Abigail a moment to parse those sentences. "If I am translating correctly, you're wanting me to ski down from the summit? Sure. Why not. I've been skiing once before, what's the worst that could happen..."
"It's certainly possible," Palkia mused. "I'd had my suspicions after the Rotom opted to end the day early rather than attempt to defend themselves.
"Funny." Abigail was unamused. "I also was curious about that, but I think it suggests the exact opposite. The possibility of my scan of Lee going wrong was chance to turn things back into their favour... And yet, instead of taking a shot at it, their side decided to shut everything down, even if it killed one of their own. Why? If Rotom was the last one left, that play would have been nothing short of wilfully throwing a chance to come back to the wind. Someone on their side was also able to kill, so unless Rotom had both powers at once, there must've been someone else."
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
Alright. Alright. Let's do an experiment of our own, shall we? Zeke, what can I ask Elbert that would demonstrate to you that he's another livin' person?
Zeke slammed his face into his paw. “I just told you how easy it would be for me to hear him. Do you seriously not—“

There was a click, light hum, low buzz, and then a moment of silence. “You mean like this?”

Zeke’s eyes shot wide open. His eyes shot to Palkia and then back to Jesse. “Oh this is bad. This is really bad.”

“Yep. Bit of a predicament,” Elbert mumbled.
 

unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/she
Partners
  1. purrloin-salem
  2. sneasel-dusk
  3. luz-companion
  4. brisa-companion
  5. meowth-laura
  6. delphox-jesse
  7. mewtwo
  8. zeraora
Jesse's face broke out into a startling crossbreed of a devilish grin and manic fury.

"Well ain't this just th'most fuckin' marvellous development! Now that you two taint-suckin' piss-stains can get acquainted, I expect you t'get a goddamn move on with fixin' our fuckin' shambles of a situation. Now fuckin' hop to it."
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
Zeke turned to Palkia for a nanosecond before he headed to a fresh binder and a pen. “Pallister. Pop up some beans from Brazil. Blue shaved ice espresso.” He sat at the nearest table and started on the binder. He finished the first page as quickly as he’d sat down.
 
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