The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Each of us arrived with identical black gift boxes. Openin' 'em afore Christmas makes ya vanish. On three occasions, we've voted as a group fer someone to open their present, believin' em t'be one of the miscreants, and each time they've opened their own present theirselves. On two of these occasions, we nabbed one of the presumed murderers."

Jesse's jaw felt like it was gonna shatter.

 

[Tanuki]

Zeke rapped his claws against the table. “Did you, as a group, think you were killing who you voted for?”

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Abigail picked a set of ski equipment that looked vaguely ralts sized, gave the metal components a quick tap to make sure they were made of fey-friendly metals, then quickly thanked Rally and departed for the rest of the group.

Zeke held his head in his hands. “I’m stuck in a prison made by the dumbest people in the multi-verse.”

"Welcome to the past seven days and four nights. This place is, as a rule, absolutely bullshit."

Zeke rapped his claws against the table. “Did you, as a group, think you were killing who you voted for?”

Abigail laughed. "Did you think I was just being melodramatic when I said this had devolved into some kind of killing game? I still don't know who's been actually murdered and who's been shmurdered."

 

[Tanuki]

Abigail picked a set of ski equipment that looked vaguely ralts sized, gave the metal components a quick tap to make sure they were made of fey-friendly metals, then quickly thanked Rally and departed for the rest of the group.

Rally watched her leave for the golden slopes, a single tear shimmering in his eye. “Shine on, you crazy diamond. Shine on.”

Abigail laughed. "Did you think I was just being melodramatic when I said this had devolved into some kind of killing game? I still don't know who's been actually murdered and who's been shmurdered."

Zeke picked up his pen, crossed a few pages out, and continued writing. “Whelp. There goes souls as a certain constant to rely on.”

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Zeke picked up his pen, crossed a few pages out, and continued writing. “Whelp. There goes souls as a certain constant to rely on.”

"Yeah, some of us are humans anyways. Probably wise not to bet on us having souls in the first place. We normally don't, although the committee has promised they managed to give us souls, somehow." She shrugged. "Go figure."

She looked back at the daunting step up to the ski lift. "Mind giving me hand again? Last time."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Did you, as a group, think you were killing who you voted for?

"Hard t'say. But if you assumed fer certain that votin' fer someone would imperil their soul, that kid, Oshawott Gen? He never fuckin' voted fer anyone. He oughta have kept his soul."

some of us are humans anyways. Probably wise not to bet on us having souls

Jesse sneered. "Maybe in yer own world, Abigail. In mine, human souls are like fuckin' beacons."

 

[IFBench]

Gen clutched his reunion cape tightly. There was so much going on. There was everything going in with space-time. Who knew if he'd ever be able to go back home again. Apparently he didn't even have a soul anymore.

He felt overwhelmed.

 

[Shiny Phantump]

"He was forced to pick a target when the electronics appointment him a 'prophet.' Does that count? I mean, sure, he's the most innocent one here, but it might not be good enough for this bullshit soul nonsense."

She stopped to think for a moment. "On that note... if we don't have souls, we should be powerless. I have telekinesis, Jesse has pyrokinesis. If we were soulless, we shouldn't be able to do that..."

She turned to Gen. "So, on that note, do you have any sort of watery stuff you can do? Or anything else?"

 

[IFBench]

Gen looked down, frowning.

"...no. I don't know any water-type moves. Only Assurance," he admitted.

 

[IFBench]

He felt useless.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse spared a glance for Gen.

"Don't worry, son, we'll sort this out, one way or another. Zeke might be an oddball but he seems t'know what he's fuckin' doin'. And I know I ain't givin' up, whatever comes. So neither should you, y'hear?"

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Abigail nodded. "Fair enough. Telekinesis wasn't too hard to wrap my head around, but conjuring water from nowhere is. If our species were reversed, I'm sure you'd have gotten a hold of telekinesis and I'd be pretty much stuck."

She was still eyeballing the ski lift. Being unable to do something so simple as get up onto a lift frustrated her to her very core. She was barely taller than a ruler now...

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Mind giving me hand again? Last time."

"Shit, right, the lift. Not rightly clear why yer headed up there, but it can't hurt t'see. Here, lemme lend ya a paw."

 

[IFBench]

"Don't worry, son, we'll sort this out, one way or another. Zeke might be an oddball but he seems t'know what he's fuckin' doin'. And I know I ain't givin' up, whatever comes. So neither should you, y'hear?"

"O-ok," Gen said. "I won't."

He still felt useless, but he wouldn't give up.

Or at least, he'd try his best not to.

 

[Tanuki]

Zeke was too caught up in consolidating the equilibrium between 👍💭 and まる for a bit to realize he’d caused a whole lot of confusion. “No, trying to defend yourself doesn’t get rid of your soul,” he sighed. “But, since any one of you could have been voting for the express purpose of killing someone, I can no longer work under the assumption we all have souls and have to include causalities that could occur if that were the case.” He rested his chin on his paw, gave a nervous glance at Gen before saying, “and I’ll have to sleep with one eye open,” and quickly looked back down at his writing.

She was still eyeballing the ski lift. Being unable to do something so simple as get up onto a lift frustrated her to her very core. She was barely taller than a ruler now...

Atop the mountain, she saw Rally awaiting her, covered in gold-plated, skin-tight ski-gear. He cracked a smile. “Did you think I’d let you face destiny alone, baby doll? A journey to the heart is mighty dangerous, seldom taken without a fire to light the way.”

He took her off the lift, placed her down, and gestured to the bright, sunless sky. “It’s been said Arceus Himself divided the mortals by language at Babel for fear of what they could accomplish together. She knew they could easily overtake Itself left to their own devices, so He tore us apart.” A bitter cold cut through the air, but his smile shined on. “Skiin’ ain’t got no language, though. It’s the soul’s journey down, like Sassafras rolling his voltorb up the stairs, only for it to self destruct and send him on his way down.” He pressed a hand to his heart. “It’s life, and I’m ready to show you what it’s made of.”

He dropped down to look her in the eyes. “What you’re made of,” he said, pressing a finger to her heart.

Zeke took a break from note taking to watch her reach Rally, this apparently a familiar sight to him. “I hope whatever she went up there for is worth dealing with him.” He couldn’t hear a word he said, but he knew Rally well enough to know it was better that way. “Count yourselves lucky we can’t hear him all the way down here.”

Unfortunately, no one of the party could count themselves so lucky, as they could hear the speech clear as Abigail did. Zeke squinted at her. “Why is she up there?”

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse shrugged expansively. "She got it into her head that she oughta, so she gotta. Figure'd I'd let her. Maybe she'll have fun."

He smirked sidelong at Zeke. "I can hear Rally goin' on about Arceus to the poor gal. You're damn right I'd be lucky not to."

 

[Tanuki]

He smirked sidelong at Zeke. "I can hear Rally goin' on about Arceus to the poor gal. You're damn right I'd be lucky not to."

Zeke put a hand to his heart and said, near perfectly imitating Rally’s voice, “Then may the slopes have mercy on whatever soul you have left in ya.” He went back to work, but couldn’t help a fearful look at Gen. Even with his eyes on the paper, a shiver ran down his spine.

 

[Shiny Phantump]

It’s been said Arceus Himself divided the mortals by language at Babel for fear of what they could accomplish together. She knew they could easily overtake Itself left to their own devices, so He tore us apart.

Those sentences... Were the single greatest clusterfuck of pronouns she'd ever heard. In her world, it would've been an insult to refer to a deity as either mortal gender, or like an object. Yet Rally had done all three. In only two sentences.

All things considered, it was hardly the weirdest thing about this world. Or even the weirdest thing about Rally. Abigail just rolled with it.

"I see."

She really hoped the lift reached the top soon. And that it wasn't far to the summit from there. And that there was indeed something of value in this. Turning in the ski lift had been a complicated process requiring wrangling a number of sub-tasks. Logically, that didn't mean it needed to have some payoff, after all, many things were complicated and multi-step for no conceivable benefit, like dancing the macarena in rollerblades on a tightrope. Being complex and multi-step did not make something inherently worthwhile... Emotionally, she expected a payoff anyways, logic be damned.

 

[IFBench]

Gen noticed Zeke's fearful glances at him. He clutched tightly onto his reunion cape.

Why is he doing that? Does he know something about me that I don't? Am I about to die, and he knows?

He shuddered.

"W-what are you looking at me like that for?" Gen asked, fear in his voice.

 

[Fusion]

Lee was too busy conjuring little wisps and spirits of darkness, muttering to himself in some semblance of a language that even he doubted he knew. Every now and then, he'd hear something the others were saying, but said nothing about it. At several points, he would reach into himself and pull out things, usually fancy gems, then hiss and put them back.

"Where the hell..." he growled to himself. After another few failed attempts, one bringing up a plate of fresh and untouched tacos, and another bringing up someone's corrupted liver, Lee gave up and shook his head. "Goddamnit, I don't have anything on me..." He casually started to eat the liver again. "But at least I can float," he snickered, raising only a few inches off the ground. Chances are he was entirely oblivious to whatever was going on...