With everyone else out of the house, and Team Spectrum leaving literally any day now, Vix laid alone on her bed, in her Scrafty form so she could wrap her arms and legs around a large pillow. This whole thing was a wild ride, there were so many highs, so many lows, and surprisingly, very few of those lows were her dying. But overall, actually trying to think about it all... it was overwhelming. And ridiculous. Hardly even believable, other than the fact she witnessed pretty much all of it. Or was one of those ridiculous things.
But despite all that... Vix didn't want to leave it all behind, right? All her friends, everything they've done, and everyone they helped... Yeah, Vix didn't really interact with a lot of them, and it kinda felt like no one knew her, and most of whoever did disliked or forgot about her, but...
Vix gritted her teeth, gripping the pillow tighter. Why did she want to stay? Or maybe she just didn't want to go back? Why the hell not? Her family was waiting for her, and it was her dream to be a guildmaster and a hero with Ace. By all means, she should be running at the front of the line to get back home with everything she'd be able to bring back, and yet...
"God... dammit," Vix groaned, letting go of her pillow and laying on her back. "What the hell is wrong with me? What's been wrong with me? Why now?"
Getting a drink popped into her mind, but at the same time, the thought of indulging in alcohol almost made her sick. "I just... want to enjoy this, for fuck's sake..."
Maybe she should ask Owen for advice? He always seemed to have a good idea in that head of his. Or maybe Diyem could do something? He had power over Void Shadows, right? He'd be able to just... make her better? No... that wasn't how that worked, was it...
How about someone to spar against? That'd get Vix's mind off of whatever the hell it was doing for a while. Brisa would be fun, maybe even Luz could join too! Hell, maybe Astrid would be up for literally exploding just for the hell of it, but... Vix felt it'd be kinda weird to just ask, they hardly even hung out... And the same could be said for most of Team Spectrum, could it? Dammit.
After sulking for a while, Vix heard someone come in. She certainly wasn't expecting anyone, and she doubted anyone would be looking for her just yet, unless it was already time to go.
"O-Oh! Sorry! Didn't realize we were leaving!" Vix called out, quickly trying to clean herself up and get out bed. Despite her best efforts, she tripped and fell off the bed, thanks to her fancy large pillow. She let out a droning groan, and didn't help herself up.
"Geez, Vix. You're a bit of a mess, huh?"
Recognizing the voice, Vix flipped Drake off. The Shade laughed and picked Vix up off the ground. A more concerned look fell on his face, though. "Alright, spill it, you've been avoidin' me. What's wrong?"
Vix pouted, crossing her arms and turning away. "Like you'd know if something was wrong, I haven't said anything!" she huffed, pausing for a moment. "...Yet."
Drake crossed his arms and raised a brow. "Yeah, it's not like I'm some... roundabout, alternate you or some shit. Or you're me, or..." he shook his head, scoffing and putting his hands on Vix's shoulders. "You know what I mean, and that ain't matter right now anyway! You got somethin' on your chest so get it off already!"
Instead of some sarcastic remark, there was silence between the two, broken by Vix letting out a weak sigh. "I... don't know, Puddle," she said, flinching and shaking her head. "I-I mean... shit, I'm sorry."
"Hey, it ain't nothin' to say sorry for. Know a guy by another name and you'll call 'im by it sometimes," Drake spoke, soft and understanding. "And don't you try and shift the spotlight on me, I'm only here because you've been so... like this, lately." Drake sat Vix on the edge of her bed, sitting himself beside her. "I ain't got a clue what it is, but I've been feelin' it comin' from you for, what, a couple weeks now? And you never wanna talk about it so..."
Vix didn't respond at first, staring down at her feet as she tried and failed to think of something to say. It's not like she could lie about it, Drake pretty much knew her inside and out, and she doubted he'd leave with a simple "I'm fine."
"You know about as much as I do, honestly. It's just... my mind's been all over the place, more than usual," Vix muttered, sighing. "I don't want to leave, I don't want to go, and thinking about it makes it worse." Vix fell back on her bed, groaning and wiping her face. "I have literally died several times, and that was easier to get over than whatever this is."
Drake honestly didn't think he'd get this far. He entirely expected Vix to turn him away, or phase through a wall, or pretend to be asleep or something. Her willingness to just speak after avoiding him for like a week was more than welcome, though. He felt he'd have to pay her back by helping any way he can. "Well, in dying's defense, you've done it before."
Vix turned to Drake, deadpanned. "Really."
The Scrafty Shade doubled back almost immediately. "I-I was going somewhere with that, hold on! I'm not so much of a dick I'd make a joke like that without a reason!" Not believing him, Vix's deadpanned stared remained. Drake cleared his throat, bubbling slightly. "A-Anyway, I was sayin' that you've never done the rest of this stuff before! Goin' off-world, savin' a world, makin' a family's worth of friends... and havin' to all go your separate ways at the end of it. Dyin' doesn't seem as scary the second or third time around, but leavin' a family behind..." Drake's voice trailed off, and without realizing it, he rested a hand on his chest. Regret filled his chest, and tears rose in his eyes. "...That hurts. No matter what, it hurts."
That silence returned again, and this time, Drake was the one to break it. "We... Kane, felt the same, before he died. He left his family to do what he thought he had to, and that feelin' stuck with him all the way to the end. Hell, I still feel it everyday, and I guess you're feelin' the same thing too." He looked back at Vix, who stared back at him. Her glowing yellow eyes dimmed and flickered until she tore her eyes away. Drake bit his lip, lowering his head and sighing."...Shit, Vix."
"I wish I could figure out why... I just can't, and now even you are..." Vix sniffled, covering her mouth and curling up on her bed. "Why do I keep doing this to you..?"
"Alright, no, cuttin' that shit short," Drake said firmly, scooting up to Vix and putting a hand on her arm. "You didn't do shit, and stop tryin' to convince yourself you did. We used to be Kane, but we sure as hell ain't now. His fuck ups ain't yours, they ain't mine, and if you want to feel like yourself you should stop tryin' to say otherwise!" he sucked his teeth, simmering. "Just like he said on the moon, let him and his bullshit pass on, already."
Vix slammed her fist on the bed, her flame erupting for a moment before dying back down. "It's not like I want to! You know I don't want, you know I just want to move on and set our past behind us but it's just..." she let out a sharp, shaky exhale, curling her tail around herself. "...it's hard. It's just too hard. I'm not like everyone else who can... fight themselves and beat up some metaphorical whatever of their problems and bad thoughts and be done with them! All I know how to do is remember and work through my memories, and I thought that was working, no, it was, but now it's too much, and I can't... I can't do it."
...So that was the problem, then. Being able to actually say it for once, Vix wanted to jump for joy, but unfortunately her body just wanted curl up and cry until she couldn't any more. What good was knowing the problem when you also knew you couldn't do anything about it? Hell, the longer she sat on it, finding out she had an actual problem and wasn't just going insane made her feel like an idiot. No doubt someone else could've figured out how to fix it by now.
Unlike her, Drake took the problem and thought on it for a minute. Silence followed, until the Shade spoke up once again. "Then... stop tryin' to take it all on at once," Drake said, laying back on the bed as well. "If everythin' goin' on in that head of yours is too much then stop lookin' at all of it, stop lookin' back at who you were, stop figurin' out someone else's past. Just... do the easy stuff first, alright?" He exhaled, resting his hands on his chest, not wanting to say the wrong thing here. "Focus on Vix, remember that you're Vix. You can't know anyone better than yourself, and here you are doin' the self searchin' bullshit the assholes that came before you shoulda done."
Vix listened carefully, hearing a solution for once helped calm her down, but her breathing was still ragged and sharp at times. "How... how would I start, then?" she asked, turning over to face Drake. Yellow, ghostly tears rolled down her face.
"You can start with what's happenin' right now. You, leavin' Cibus, and partin' with your friends," Drake suggested, smiling slightly. "How many times have you said you're gonna fight tooth an' nail to see your friends again, huh? Pretty sure you convinced Shiron you actually would, and he's as stubborn as you think he's cute."
"...That is a lie, he's only stubborn against himself, and also fuck you," Vix tittered, managing a tiny smile of her own. "And it's not like I actually could. I'm just me, and Diyem's the only one who could do this kinda thing, and I'm nowhere near as capable as him."
"You and Pops already got some things alike... that I couldn't name for the life of me, so who's to say you won't get as strong as him later on? I used to be a literal goddamn Puddle, and now I'm a badass wax dragon made of... surprisingly not wax." Drake laughed, which brought out some chuckling from Vix. "Hell, since I'm my Pops' kid, why don't I rip a whole in the universe and slap you crybabies back together."
Vix propped her head up on her arm, scoffing. "The day you're strong enough to open a portal from kitchen to the living is still eons away. Or maybe you can get together with you cute little god crush and make it happen sooner?"
Drake's eyes widened, and he suddenly popped, reforming seconds later. "I'll ask him out when you ask Soda and he says yes!"
"Well, then I guess your chances of being a super world-hopper will still be... up in smoke, huh?" Vix cooed, grinning smugly.
"Wh-What the hell?! I came all the way out here to help your ass and you bounce back to just rub my one crush in my face?!" Drake boiled, pouting as an ethereal purple blush rose on his face.
"Well, now he is, but remember way back when we didn't know what you guys were?" Vix asked, her grin stretching further. "Wonder if you're ever gonna tell her, you know?"
"I will ACTUALLY kill you again!!!" Drake's boil reached a fever pitch, and he exploded in a dark-purple splash of Shade. His head reformed enough to angrily growl at Vix. "You tell HER or ANYONE and I will NOT HESITATE, VIX!"
Vix let out a hearty laugh, her light returning, finally. "Then I better tell everyone back home. The sooner I get to see you again, the better, you know? You and Ace would be the perfect little lovestruck idiots if I can manage to get both of you and your crushes in one room." She let out a whimsical sigh, holding her hands together and batting her eyes. "Wouldn't an inter-dimensional double-date be oh so romantic?"
"I dunno, maybe you can tell me how one goes when you and Shiron go out with Saltriv and Dill. Or maybe it can be a "Double" date, and you take out Shiron and Soda instead? Who knows, maybe if you go down your grocery list of crushes, you could be having fresh Double dates every day of the week!" Drake stuck out his tongue, which caused Vix to snort.
"Wow! Kick a girl while she's thirsty, why don't you?" she chuckled, melting. "And you better not have been looking through my stuff, then, because then I'll have nothin' keeping me from ratting out your two little secrets."
Drake reformed completely, standing on the bed and crossing his arms. "Then we're at a draw! We tell nobody and forget this conversation ever fuckin' happened! Agreed?"
Vix stood up, smiling her jagged smile. "Agreed, oh Divine Simp."
"Fuck off, you touch starved lump," Drake huffed, then chuckled. "For real, though... thank the gods you're feelin' better."
"We thanking one specific one, or..." Vix teased, pretending to look innocent. "And thanks for this, Drake. I swear, I won't actually tell anyone anything. Even if they ask. Or offer me a date. And that's a hard thing for me to decline."
Drake rolled his eyes and jumped off the bed. "Yeah, I know. Thanks. You take care, I got some stuff to sort out before y'all actually leave. And by that, I mean I'm finally gonna try that ice cream stuff. See ya later, Vix." He made it halfway to the door before being stopped in his tracks. Vix dashed up behind him and wrapped Drake in a tight, overly grateful hug.
"...I'm gonna miss you, you know?" Vix muttered, clinging a bit too tightly. "Goddamnit, we were never good at saying goodbye, were we?"
"Seein' how Kane kept comin' back to say it, I'd say we mighta picked up a few of his habits," Drake chuckled softly, patting Vix's arms. "...It's gonna be so damn bland without you dyin' every other week. And I'll have to be on my best behavior and everythin' too. What a drag, right?"
The two stood there for a few moments longer, still aware that this wasn't their last goodbye, but wanting to enjoy the moment until it got awkward. Vix was certainly feeling better, leagues better, but her head was still... her head. Maybe it was just the laziness of sulking still clinging to her. A fight or two would definitely sort that out, though. Who'd want to spar with her on such short notice, again..?
Vix finally let her Shade go, smiling and waving as he left, and hopped back on her bed to make some final arrangements. Yeah, they were kinda last minute, but it was the thought that counted. First, she'd have to find a sparring partner, then... she believed Saltriv and Dill wanted to spend a day out or something, right? With Shiron too?
"...That'll either be awkward or, uh..." she muttered to herself, feeling the heart she didn't have skip a beat. "Oh geez..."
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