Original Questant - Interactive Fiction - Exploring a Non-Euclidean Reflection, Traipse your way to the SafeRoom

[Meridian]

hey there, recovery from volunteering has taken a little longer than expected, so I haven't made the progress I expected to for updating either prologue or mainline this week.
I dont have a makeup this week either, apologies for that.

 

[Meridian]

Late Update Still On The Way​

I did just get done with the next background. I kind of went a bit too overboard with the idea, but I got used to more fundamentals with photobashing and collage work.
The next ones should be easier. Most of the NERs state right now is mapped out behind the QM screen, and a fair bit of it already has backgrounds for when those segpocks are reached. While I think trying to run the prologue simultaneously bogged things down a little it also allowed me to prep backgrounds for the exploration sequence that'll start this update, so even if yall manage to see just how free the range is I won't have to put in the same level of work on backgrounds as I've had to before.
Otherwise I just have to get the final bits of the script done, do some Korite talksprite updates for post-shrine updates, assembly, and then formatting.

I'm shooting for a Tuesday update. There may be a delay after that for a bit, as I have jury duty summons and need to call in to see if I'm actually gonna be serving.
If I am what delays will happen will depend on the case I'm assigned to, but hey this sequence has been intended to be easier for updates since the first planning stages of things.

From here on out the bulk of the work I'll have to do will be
cognions and items when they show up, which I'll roll for now and again
ability usage animations like the one that'll be in this update
the usual script writing and panel assembly
finalizing The Cleric's design and setting up talksprites. I've done some sketches, and beyond the layered effects this'll def be simpler than Caestellau's talksprite.
Updating Klevas's Profile, and setting up the Cognion info post.

Prologue Status​

I have all the photos I'll need for the next prologue update, and maybe the one after that. Hopefully will have 5 out in the next coming week, and 6 the one after that. I've aimed for sandwhiching the main updates with prologue ones as content buffers, but they took... well more time than expected at times. If I was a more experienced artist and had the workflow I do now, I might have done that sooner, but frankly I also know I probably would've done better with adderall in the mix before January.
Scripting is fairly outlined, and this is the home stretch of the prologue with a total of 4 updates.

Otherwise​

The threadmark index and thread intro has been updated! I'm still waffling on how I want to implement a bigger update, but that won't come until the prologue updates are done with.
Feel free to let me know if there's anything you think could be reworded for clarity, and the same follows with this next bit.

This'll probably be at the end of the update to explain how to engage with the new sequence.
The tricky part of this is that I'm having to make sure this is understandable both by folks on Sufficient Velocity who are probably used to forum quests, and to people on Thousand Roads forums where Quests and Interactive Fiction are much less common. If folks see me posting about this quest in various discord servers and have never read one, I'd like them to have an idea of what to do too.

I'm unsure whether a longer or shorter version works best.

Spoiler: Short and Simple

This Quest uses multiple voting types.
With Choices, I've seen ways things can go, and have pre-written options. These will usually be story forks like "enter the left room first". I will try and communicate the risks and rewards, and other details like dice rolls.
With Commands, you can give any controllable character a command prompt. Maybe you want them to use a psychic power to affect the environment, or have one of their pets use their abilities. Maybe you want them to pick up a cool rock, or ask a specific question in a conversation. I may still roll dice, but these are for simpler and quicker actions. You can reference a character's personality traits to better show your reasoning, but I may also choose commands I find funny.

Don't worry if a command isn't chosen immediately. It might come up in a later update.
Dont worry too much about if something goes wrong, my storytelling style leans fluffy and forgiving even if I can go for the throat.
Death is not The End - [ Party ] members can die! That isn't to be equated with 'permadeath'. You can play cautiously all you like, but if things take a turn for the worst it isn't goodbye forever. I make usage of something called a 'miracle roll' when it comes to death, and even after the worst happens it's possible a character will respawn somewhere else... but I give no guarantees they'll show back up before the next major arc begins.

Spoiler: Longer and Detailed

This quest uses multiple voting types.
Choices and Write-In Commands are gonna be our bread and butter options

Choices are the classic style you're gonna be used to on SV. I see routes things could head, and you vote from them.

• Plans may be something to vote for from time to time. This is a method of 'planning out' how to respond to what just happened, and often combines voting options from a larger list. As this quest gets into Act 1 there'll be a time-management option where I'll request planning-style votes.

Commands are like "anything goes" and "riot quest" voting. Any character you can control can receive a command, and this goes for most updates.

• This can be anything from "examine the sign" to "use (ability) on bench", and will usually be simpler actions or things like asking a character a question.
• If this confuses you I recommend checking out an old art quest like Problem Sleuth or Ruby Quest. They're both on the old side, but worth reading!
• Priority goes to in-character commands for controllable characters, but if I find something Sufficiently Funny there's a good chance I'll take it. Think of this as "anything goes" or "Riot Quest" style (or mspaint adventures / ruby quest if you're old enough to know those..).
• Dont be too afraid of using these! My QM style is overall pretty forgiving and I try to avoid too much crunch (even if my systems feel arcane..).
• Dont despair if your command wasn't used in the immediate next update.. I just might see an opportunity down the road >83c
• You'll see me write some Choice options with a character's [trait] like a command suffix. You can do this in your Command write-in to show the logic as to why a character would act in the way you're prompting them to. The same goes for other command formatted writing you may have seen in updates.

What to Expect

• Some actions may require a roll. I'll try and communicate these with Choices, but due to the nature of Commands it's not likely I'll give warning which require a roll.
• Combat may come up, and when it does I'll be breaking out a turn action voting style similar to what you can expect in a DexWorks quest, as I've found their style keeps things balanced between not taking forever and being engaging.
• Death Is Not The End - [ Party ] members can die, but that doesn't mean we're looking at permadeath. Feel free to play cautiously, but if things make a turn for the worst characters can persist after death through various means.. but dont expect to see them again easily, or without dying affecting them.

 

[Negrek]

I like short and simple, personally! Maybe a good compromise would be putting an info section in one of the early posts in the thread, or as an extra/bonus/info threadmark or something and including the longer, more detailed info there. Then you could give the shorter version as part of the actual update and include the link to the longer version so people can check that out if they're confused or want a more in-depth explanation.

 

[Meridian]

I like short and simple, personally! Maybe a good compromise would be putting an info section in one of the early posts in the thread, or as an extra/bonus/info threadmark or something and including the longer, more detailed info there. Then you could give the shorter version as part of the actual update and include the link to the longer version so people can check that out if they're confused or want a more in-depth explanation.

re: End of Early Post(s)
I've been considering doing a bit in the opening post for a while now, thankfully. what I put down was a more-final rough draft of what I've been toying with.
A bit of it's taking cues from Dexworks' works, such as Terrene Spire, and the current Conscryption (which is inspired by Inscryption)
He makes sure to include in every thread opener an idea of it being "anything goes" or the specific rules, as a lot of Sufficient Velocity is purely based from "vote between these preset options" with some quests allowing write-in options. His style is more informed by MSPFA style where all commands are "write-in" options.

I was leaning towards having the longer version at the end of the first post, or the 'title card'.
I'm currently between whether I want to migrate all the starting posts one threadmark down in the chain, and have the first thread on both forums be a title card / index similar to other fics here, and some SV quests, but I'm also thinking I might save that for Act 1.
Which the current internal consensus for me is "we should have Act 1 be a new thread" for sanity's sake trying to shuffle threadmarks around.

Thanks for the response!
The couple responses I've gotten have been that everything's legible, which was the big concern.

Ultimately I should've done this at the start, but for a while we were in the character creation weeds, so I didn't want to overload folks with information more than I might already be doing

 

[Meridian]

regrettably I will not be getting the update out today. between some depressive moments that cut work yesterday short, and sleep irregularities trying to be ready for jury duty, and errands I need to run this evening, I don't think I'm going to get things done today.
I'm at the tail end of this update's prep, so I should have something soon. I'll know tomorrow how jury duty will fuck things over, if at all.

 

[Meridian]

I was part of the juror group who were dismissed rather than selected for the trial, and my 'cohort' was told we've completed the duty and will not need to come back tomorrow.
Today's probably not gonna be one I get work done, but I wasn't certain of that to begin with.

 

[Meridian]

winning inventory vote: Klevas's Instinct

Zippi fidgets as they patiently wait while Klevas drops item after item into the portal to store away their excess items.. and it amazes Klevas a little as they seem to just vanish into that portal. Vae can see them drop neatly onto one of the tables, or neatly as they can with the bottles rolling to the side a little before coming to a rest. One protein bar drops into the cauldron only for the scrapbook to tip it over, and for the next protein bar to drop on the side of the cauldron.

Vae knows vae'll have to probably organize things in there later, but for now vae relaxes knowing vae won't have to worry as much if there's a need to run from something, or annoyingly have to try and climb up somewhere.

Spoiler: transcript

Klevas waves one of vaer arms upwards as if to tell Zippi to close their zippertail, and while it takes a couple tries they eventually get it.
"Huh.." vae says, and looks down at vaer cognion as vae says "easier than expected."
Vae looks back to the acolyte on the shrine's interface and says "I think we're ready to head out.. so is there going to be a map you give me of the NER?"

Spoiler: transcript

They chuckle with their usual smile, "Wouldn't that be lovely? An easy linear map from here to the safehouse you must reach.. but such a boon is one beyond this shrine's lowly capabilities."
They awkwardly chuckle, "I am likewise not that adept in seerage either.. one moment.."

Spoiler: transcript

a black background with white lines atop it. An example segpock leads to a hallway of doors where a mini klevas pawn shape (marked with the text, where the i's on "mini klevas" are dotted like eyeballs). Door A leads to an lake bed segpock, and onwards to C and D, which lead further to unknown segpocks. B leads to a forest, leading to D, E, and F segpocks. F does not lead anywhere, but the others lead to multiple segpocks. C and D lead to one of the same segpocks, with D and E leading also to the same. An unknown number of segpocks lie between the mini klevas and the goal, which is marked over a set of red doors with S A on one red door and F E on the other. There is an icon of a house in the bottom left corner of the double doors.

Klevas can hear sounds like scribbling from over the interface, and soon the shrine interface displays something new.
"This is a rough visualization of a NER, Klevas," they chirp out, "and also your goal traipsing this NER: a safehouse. There is almost always going to be one located somewhere within a NER, and finding it can involve a bit of guesswork at times.."

Spoiler: transcript

"In any voidtraipsing party there will be various roles, and that of the seer is often integral to pathing out from a NER and making passage elswhere." They explain, and scribble on a new note, "The Safe House broadcasts a signal of sorts.."
"Which is a boon to many like myself, as my seerage is limited much like this basal shrine is.."

Spoiler: transcript

"But through the connection and your sensorium shared I am granted an additional window into the NER as you traipse its bounds.." They say, "with this I may trace the pull of different routes.." They say trailing off into a sigh, "Yet I cannot trace much further than morsels.. the signal strength and the distance away in segpocks. Thankfully that is as much as most parties need anyway of a seer."

Klevas considers commenting on how much of vaer time so far has been hearing explanations of things that go over vaer head, but vae also considers that there isn't any significant benefit in making an issue out of it when vae could still run into the pursuer from earlier again.. so all vae does is give a nod before looking to Zippi.

Vaer starter bobs with a fresh zeal considering its life only began moments ago, so Klevas begins the same process as vae had before even meeting Caestellau..

Spoiler: transcript

Rather than try to head back the way vae came, Klevas begins to search the shrine segpock in hopes of finding the way to the next.

Spoiler: transcript

Klevas considers checking drawers, the spaces between shelves, and even in the wardrobes..
But decides to look towards the back instead, and finds that the rear exit the store would have had does seem to lead out to another segpock..

Spoiler: transcript

Klevas looks back to the shrine console for a moment and sees a Korite from within vaer field of vision looking back to the same,
"Do head on," they chime in, "I can remotely set the shrine to its hibernal state."
As this Korite speaks, Klevas sees the shrine console revert to it's original state, "As you can see our connection will remain established just fine."

Music is Playing.

Spoiler: transcript

A pink desert resembling Joshua Tree National Park. The sands, rock formation, and much of the foliage is pink. A rock formation with a natural tunnel leading to an even more pink area that looks larger on the inside is to the left behind a rest area.
The rest area includes a pink concrete bench, a pile of firewood, a camp grill, a large stone by the sidewalk path marking the campground zone, and in front of both the rock and marker are a group of blue wildflowers.
The sidewalk splits with one path leading to a rest stop, and the other behind it. There are blue flowers on the side of the rest stop and in front of a rock at the fork in the path. A one way only sign lies along the path behind the rest stop, and a similar sign with garbled and glitched text sticks out from the vent at the top of the rest stop.
The rest stop has a green button next to its open door, and a pile of fuschia and green buttons cluttering the opening. Next to the rest stop are orange palms of varying sizes, and pastel rocks closer to the viewer with more blue flowers.
In the foreground there is what looks like a one way sign with garbled text and an arrow to the left. Near the rock formation is a sign lying on the ground due to it being severed from the post. The rod still attached to it is dented. The background is a clear sky with only a couple clouds obscurring a snowy mountain rising far on the horizon.

Klevas finds the rear exit leads out... and into a desert of some sort.

Where the sands do not sit idle the desert scrub has taken root, and as vae looks out Klevas can see the desert valley stretch onwards into foothills and mountains alike on the horizon.
Immediately in front of vaem can be seen a rest stop. Some sort of structure sits to vaer right, and vae suspects it may be a restroom.. and to vaer left lies a rock formation.

Klevas can never quite tell where segpocks truly begin and end, as while there looks to be a clear threshhold it looks to be of the same desert even if it looks larger inside the formation than the exterior space says it should contain.

---

Klevas can be given commands.
Vae could Investigate vaer surroundings, Examine what may stand out, or even use Abilities vaer cognion may have.
Vae can also always Talk with others, and Traipse Elsewhere when the time comes.​

Spoiler: How to Play

This Quest uses voting to direct how the story progresses, and multiple types of voting.

With Choices, I've seen ways things can go, and have pre-written options. These will usually be story forks like "enter the left room first". I will try and communicate the risks and rewards, and other details like dice rolls.
With Commands, you can give any controllable character a command prompt. Maybe you want them to use a psychic power to affect the environment, or have one of their pets use their abilities. Maybe you want them to pick up a cool rock, or ask a specific question in a conversation. I may still roll dice, but these are for simpler and quicker actions. You can reference a character's personality traits to better show your reasoning, but I may also choose commands I find funny.

Please use brackets for each command line.
Your brackets should have an "x" or "X" in them.

Spoiler: example commands

A bit of this Quest started out with being inspired by point and click games, text adventures, and stuff like that.
Most commands can be used on what appears within background images, but may be used on inventory contents or a way to prompt a character to think about things.

[] Investigate: pick something to interact with. Roughly synonymous with "Interact"
[] Consider: pick something for the character to think about. Roughly synonymous with "Examine"
[] Traipse: Pick a direction to proceed from the present location. Future updates will have possible directions marked, and backtracking will become possible. Roughly synonymous with "Go".

These example commands are not required, but should give you an idea how to command characters. Feel free to get creative with your own ideas!

Spoiler: abilities

Party members and cognions alike may have abilities they can use in various situations. These range from psionic abilities to skills they've picked up.

Klevas lacks any particular special abilities at present.
To use an ability Zippi might have: [] Zippi: Use (ability) (context, such as "on the wall")

• GLOMP!!
• Pap
• Inventory Access
• Reunion
• Simple Song

Dont worry too much about if something goes wrong, my storytelling style leans fluffy and forgiving even if I can go for the throat.

Spoiler: death is not the end

Death is not The End - [ Party ] members can die! That isn't to be equated with 'permadeath'. You can play cautiously all you like, but if things take a turn for the worst it isn't goodbye forever.
I make usage of something called a 'miracle roll' when it comes to death, and even after the worst happens it's possible a character will respawn somewhere else... but I give no guarantees they'll show back up before the next major arc begins.

For instance if Klevas is to die while exploring this NER, vae would likely respawn in another NER. I'd likely roll for it to see the circumstances (and there would be options outside of a NER should it happen), but so long as Zippi remains alive they would return to vaem.
(If Zippi is ensouled within Klevas's inner world on death, reunion wouldn't be necessary as they would be spirited away with Klevas on respawn).

Regardless of commands Klevas will Ask Korite about how the path forward looks.​

 

[Negrek]

Ooh, feels like we're making real progress! I enjoy the trippy desert scenery. And is that a one-way sign pointing the opposite direction of the one still posted that would have been pointing in the opposite direction?

I think it makes sense to poke around a little bit to get our bearings!

> Investigate

 

[Meridian]

> Investigate

[] Investigate: pick something to interact with. Roughly synonymous with "Interact"

Investigate where? (A general direction / thing.)
As a result of @Nonakin 's command on SV, I'll also be appending "[X] Investigate: Rest Stop Doorway" as a decision of Klevas's as a result of the examine command for the rest stop.

And is that a one-way sign pointing the opposite direction of the one still posted that would have been pointing in the opposite direction?

why yes it is >83c

 

[Negrek]

Uhhh, if we're not too late here...

> Investigate: downed road sign ?

 

[Meridian]

Uhhh, if we're not too late here...

dw, it's not too late at all! I'm currently working on the next update, hoping to get it out for Friday or Saturday

I'll either work it into this update, or the one after this.

EDIT: It will have to be saturday, I don't expect to complete today due to something coming up, and the likelihood I'll need to be away from my computer for the evening.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, I did a bit of a different review style this time around since I admittedly wasn’t fully sure how to best approach reviewing this story as interactive media with a strong non-text component, so I wound up cribbing that review style @Ambyssin uses during Review Blitzes to leave a stream-of-consciousness set of reactions. I was originally planning on reading up to the most recent post, but… uh, there was a lot to get through, so I opted to go up to The Scrapbook for my review since things turned out a bit denser than expected for a read in spite of the low “on paper” wordcount.

Anyhow, onto the review:

The Initial Vignette - In Medias Res

Spoiler

- Ah yes, a lamp store. Definitely quite the lightshow to kick things off on
- So this place is some sort of safe space with a shrine in it, I wonder to whom?
- >this bone and scale rosary lamp . I didn’t realize until just now that this was Original fiction, though duly noted
- Wait, so were the ‘Investigate’ and ‘Introspect’ options pre-selected? Or else how was it determined to choose these two actions out of the four possibilities provided?
- >decentralized peer to peermind interface . Implying that there’s neurally-based communication in this setting? We’re definitely living in quite the wild future if so
- Ah, I see that you provided the first set of choices for the players there, though a [ Profile ], huh? Are we in cyberspace at the moment?
- Oh, hello, one-eyed alien in the hologram
- >a seed of refuge within the Great Rift . We’re going to be finding out an awful lot about that place, aren’t we?
- And alium has a name: Korite, duly noted
- Oh, so the profile is essentially character creation. That’s a clever way of handling things
- So the PC has some degree of pre-existing characterization based off their interaction with Korite. Duly noted for the future. You also have a missing newline at the "You called at a shrine, so beyond the obvious.” line
- Wait, what are SegPocks anyways? Since I feel like this is a big setting detail, but it’s still a bit unclear right now
- >”We have some people who will be out on scouting and maintenance duties. They'll likely attempt to provoke an encounter with it, and decide from there what's the best way to proceed.” Ah yes, there’s a Bubsy meme for this.
- Clerics, huh? I admittedly wasn’t expecting that given the vaporwave aesthetic, though I suppose that given that there’s a concept of a ‘shrine’ that there’s a mystical component to this story
- I was going to ask what a ‘Cognion’ was, but based off of Korite’s explanation, it sounds like they’re meant to be Familiars
- Aaaand Cognions are apparently not above trying to get nibbles from the people they’re bonded with. That’s certainly reassuring.
- On the one hand, I get that you don’t want a giant wall of exposition for all these highlighted terms, but I do wonder if there ought to have been more context cues provided, since [innerscape] kinda meant a whole lot of nothing to me
- >I'm talking about that scrapbook of yours. Small typo here
- Oh, so the hologram allows Korite to do more than just see us. I think. I wonder why the PC wasn’t experiencing senses other than just sight and audio for Korite in that case
- “sophont” is apparently a term for beings with roughly equivalent or greater capacity for reason than humans, TIL
- Ah, I see that you opened another batch of choices. Based off the next threadmark, I’m guessing the “Ask About the Cognion Ritual” option was the winner.

Cognion Ritual for the Uninitiated

Spoiler

- Ominous shuddering shrine is ominous, ditto the distorting furniture and sudden surprise runes. Also, mind your newlines
- Huh. That’s quite the sigil at the shrine basin. I wonder if that pattern is based off anything in particular or not
- And yeah, feeling pretty good about that prediction that Cognions are effectively Familiars
- Kilon sounds like it’s a lovely™ place to be. Or at least I think the implication is that it’s a place
- There’s an idea of a “starter” for Cognions, huh? Do we also get to pick out three from a lineup?
- You have a moment where your transcript for Korite talking about the Klion way is both in the spoiler box and duplicated outside of it right afterwards
- Wait, ‘still-folded worlds’? What do unfolded ones look like, then? Though I wonder how much of this the player character is meant to know, or if this is all supposed to be new to them much like it is for us
- Getting some XB2 core crystal vibes from the description of how this cognion creation process works. We basically start with an outside template and project a part of our memories / persona / whatever onto it, which isn’t that far off from how Blades in XB2 worked.
- I see more new terms with ‘NER’ and ‘demiplane’ there. I’ll keep an eye out for if they get defined later in this section, but they certainly sound important.
- Wait, there are other people here aside from just Korite?
- You have another “your’s” that should be “yours” in the third paragraph under ‘Ask about Korite’s Cognion’ section
- Huh. That’s more than I was expecting from an inventory for waking up in a weird place without a firm idea of what’s going on. I take it that we’ll be needing this in short order
- Trippy scrapbook is trippy
- >”Meditating on any one brings it back to your senses like you could play it over again. It's something that comes to your mind again and again.” Boy, I hope someone meditated on the tunnel pic, since that one looks wild.
- Aha, so we’re getting a traveling bard for our Cognion / Familiar. Always a solid choice for a wandering adventurer
- Aaaand it’s time to make a character, though I suppose we might as well see where that went since it’s the very next post

Who Are You? - Character Creation

Spoiler

- I wonder if it might make sense to do some sort of recap of the choices available to the participants at the end of each post, since I admittedly got thrown in a loop by this opening choice here since I forgot it was presented as a first set of choices about halfway through the prior update
- Actually, I just realized, but how was this selection chosen anyways? Since the only vote on TR for that question chose a different option.
- Those… Voidclams are something else. Especially with those ominous-looking eyes there.
- So at least some Cognions are capable of symbiotic behavior. I wonder if that means that there’s some sort of ‘fusion’ mechanic for Cognions in this game
- Yup, based on Korite’s dialogue we got our confirmation on there being Cognion fusion. It’ll be fun to see that one get unlocked
- Huh, preselected name, but everything else is floating. That’s definitely different. I wonder what ‘Zrom’ means in this setting given that it was specifically chosen as a default
- >those species choices . If the audience didn’t choose ‘Spooper’, I’m going to be so disappointed.
- And lots of selectable options for character creation there, including defaults of the five species that are selectable. I honestly wonder how on earth you handled voting for this, since you’d think that almost every player would propose something completely different from the next one. I mean, judging from the next proper update, it looks like we already have an answer at least to the name of the PC, but…

The Scapbook

Spoiler

- Oh, so we’re getting more backstory behind each of those photos in the scrapbook last update. Neat.
- So ‘Zrom’ apparently was a gamer, or at least that’s what I’m getting from the pond photo
- And he went to conventions back in the day. Did they play competitive Melee, too?
- Oh, well that tunnel fluff text sounds ominous there.
- Oh, there’s more pages here. I wonder if first-time readers are meant to look at this or not. If not, it probably makes sense to have some way of noting things for readers to skip it until they reach a certain point
- >’so many creches to find a trinket within’ … is that a typo? Or is that a deliberate word choice that there’s groups of babies of… something in this forest?
- Huh, whoever built this underground place looks like they had a thing for Classical architecture
- >‘Zrom’ is a furry. Well that answer the question of what sorts of conventions they went to
- ‘Depthscraper’, huh? Are these just vertical shafts with floors dug into the hollow, or is this something like the Geofront from Evangelion? Though ‘Zrom’ apparently was once an underground dweller
- Creepy store looks creepy
- I can’t tell if these sticky notes are meant to have happened before the start of the game, or if these are from later posts, but either way, ‘Zrom’ has certainly been running around quite a bit. Probably screaming, too.

Alright, time for the recap. But that was definitely a different experience. Very imaginative too since the aesthetic and the flavor behind this setting that we’re in is full of things that you don’t see a lot of all together in one story. Thus far, it’s been doing a pretty good job at feeling alive as a setting even if we’re still more or less stuck in the backroom of a lamp shop at the moment.

As for issues that I saw, be mindful of little typos and formatting errors since they're a bit distracting to read. I also noticed that you dropped a lot of terms without much context to figure out what they are. That might have been a deliberate choice on your part if the player character is meant to be getting thrown into things and learning as they go, but if so, you might want to emphasize the character’s thoughts finding different concepts unfamiliar and going “oh, that’s what that meant” a bit more in others. I also noticed that you seem to be drawing feedback from multiple sites beyond just TR, which while fine and good especially if the other sites generate more volume of feedback, I wonder if there’s a way for TR readers to be more clued in on what those other forks of this interactive quest are contributing, since it was admittedly a bit jarring at a couple points to see players submit answers to certain prompts and then the narrative choose something completely different. Like the votes are votes, but I feel like there’s something missing for being able to see how different choices were ultimately settled on in the present version of the game.

I’m not really sure how applicable or not this feedback will be to an interactive work, but hope it was fun to read @Meridian . I don’t know when I’ll get back into this interactive quest, but it’s definitely interesting enough that I could see myself making submissions if I ever fully caught up with things.

Thanks for your patience, and best of luck with your future interactions in this story.