Poison 7.2
Persephone
Infinite Screms
- Pronouns
- her/hers
- Partners
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Poison 7.2: Catalyst
Cuicatl
July 24, 2020
You feel weak. Like your muscles all went on strike at once. Like you haven’t eaten in days. Your heart hammers in your chest like it wants to tear itself out as a second offering. Air enters your lungs but refuses to stay. You almost drop the dagger as you collapse to the ground.
Someone touches you shortly after. “Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Acerola whispers. “Spiritual sacrifices are a hell of a rush the first time. Don’t worry. It’ll all be better in a week or two.”
You groan and shift to a more comfortable position. Acerola gives you a final head pat and leaves. You hear her talk to Plumeria but the words go straight through your head without a pause.
There’s a sound of slicing flesh. And then something strikes the ground. What. {Noci?}
[UD_Plumeria Attacked UD_Plumeria;
UD_Plumeria Has Gone Offline;
UD—Situation Rapidly Developing, Please Hold]
“Welcome, Dread Commander of the Marching Shadows,” Acerola says. Her voice quivers. Fear? Surprise? She’s supposed to know what’s happening.
“Princess.” The voice… it’s like Plumeria. But so much more. There’s scorn in it. For her? Hopefully. You can feel its attention turn to you. Not normal judgment. Not just seeing through you. In just one moment it knows everything there is to know about you and it finds you wanting. “Princess.” There’s almost pity this time. Thankfully, the attention leaves and you can shrink back in on yourself. “Where is the representative of my people.”
“Right there.”
The horrible attention shifts back to you. No. Please. Anywhere else. “She is not from the eternal city.”
“But she’s from beyond the stars! That was the requirement.”
“Hmm.” The ghost sounds terribly unconvinced. “I was supposed to be solemnly summoned by a representative of my creator, not a scared child from another civilization entirely.”
“You appeared anyway.” Acerola sounds more angry than frightened now. How? Does she not feel the weight of being known? The endless strength of the creature before her? The whispers of the dead too loud to ignore and too faint to understand? “Will you fight?”
There’s a pause before the thing’s attention changes. You don’t dare breathe. Not when it could come back in a moment. “I will. Even if the method was improper the purpose is correct. I will secure this land for the allies of my creator.”
And then it’s gone.
You take deep breaths and shake from more than weakness.
“Sorry about that,” she finally says.
“W-what did he mean? I’m not good enough?”
“Looks like I made a translation error. I was probably supposed to get Nanu for this but he wouldn’t have gone along, ever, so—at least it worked?”
“How are you still standing?” Wasn’t she judged, too?
“Ever met an angry ghost?”
“There was an oricorio,” you whisper. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “They can be a lot.”
She puts a hand in yours and you recoil. Cold. Your hand—her hand—both—so, so cold.
“Oops, yeah, spiritual wounds. Uh. Sorry?”
There’s a booming roar. The primal cry of an angry dragon blasted through a war horn. You know the voice. No. Not her. Not now.
The garchomp lands and the ground shakes around you. A slide and two smaller steps follow.
“Acerola, Cuicatl.” Shirona’s voice is cold and her words are short. She’s angrier than you’ve ever heard her. If you hadn’t just been judged by…whatever that was…this would be what made you break.
“Hey, Shirry! What’chu doing here?” Acerola also sounds unlike herself. Like a child puppeting her body.
“Why is there a dead body? What is a white florges doing here? Why did you attack my lucario?”
Acerola sounds very unconcerned with the angry champion and her dragon. “Huh. So, he got back to base?”
“No, I did!” Mitsuru warbles before her talons softly touch down.
“Oh. Right. Probably should’ve figured you’d keep two sets of eyes on your… ward? Protégé? Kid? The ghosts weren’t quite sure what was going on with you two.”
“What. Did. You. Do?” Shirona hisses. It’s almost scarier than her dragon’s roar.
“Fine. Straight to business. There’s an old Alolan god that’s been sealed away for ages. Needed Cuicatl’s help to wake him up. She’ll be fine, by the way.”
“Again! You saw Hoenn, saw—saw everything and decided this was a good fucking idea?“ Shirona shouts. “Where is it?”
“Like you can talk. I can sense The Devourer’s mark on you.” There’s a chill in the air when she says the word. Like it’s watching you right now. “You can’t make a pact with Him and then lecture me on my rituals.”
You have no idea what’s going on. Barely know what the Alolan god is. No idea about The Devourer. Neither woman seems like they’re about to explain things to you.
“The world was ending,” Shirona snaps.
“And our world ended a century ago.”
“Almighty Sinnoh this is a colonialism thing,” Shirona breathes / hisses / sighs. “Look, I understand, my people were wiped out ages ago and then decimated again by the Japanese. But it’s been thousands of years and not one of the Celestica ever brought the gods in. You want to know why? Because however much we’ve lost, we know we still had more to lose. You’re going to find that out very, very soon.”
“Ooh! Is that a threat? Is Miss Big, Bad Champion walking into a foreign country and trying to take it over?”
“I don’t care about your games, kid. I will save what I can. Even if I have to destroy you to do it.”
“Even if you have to destroy Cuicatl?”
There’s a heavy pause. Wait. Are you… is it still bound to you? Can it be destroyed by killing you?
You just wanted to keep your daughter safe and now—
You just want to lie down. Cuddle Genesis or Pixie. Make it all go away. And now Shirona’s probably going to kill you because…
Maybe nothing matters, anyway. You were never real. You can’t—couldn’t save Alice. Maybe you deserve this.
“Dragon rush.”
You lower your head and wait for the end. Instead, you only feel a rush of cold air and hear the garchomp’s growl of displeasure.
“Damn it. Got away,” Shirona hisses.
Oh. Was she going for Acerola? The florges? You kind of assumed… actually, why hasn’t the florges spoken? You thought fairies never shut up. A quick mental push finds nothing. They might have left a long time ago. Just used glamour to cover it.
Just like a fairy to flee from a fight.
You can feel it when Shirona’s full attention fall on you. Just a little less scary than the god’s. “Explain yourself. Now.”
Okay. You take a shaky breath. You can do this. “I was on the hill when Acerola came. Started talking about fallers and Alola and—Gen’s parents got away and—the Florges, she let Kekoa go, Plumeria had a knife I don’t know if she’s dead.” Another shaky breath. “I was protecting Coco.”
“It was taken care of,” she snaps. “You just had to go to Sinnoh for a while. If you’d just calmed down and come inside, I would have told you. None of this had to happen!”
You scowl. “Maybe you were just using me to get Coco. Like the dragon gym guy. This was all planned.”
She laughs. Loudly. Madly. Like nothing you’ve heard from her before. “Kid. I had a challenger while you were traveling with Mitsuru. He’d been training for five years. Watched all the footage he could find of my battles. Managed his pokémon’s diet and exercise to a fault, splurged on TMs, lived and breathed battling. Landed back-to-back wins against four of the strongest trainers in Sinnoh. You want to know how far he got against me?”
The question hangs. Is she judging you again? Telling you how much less you are than this boy? That she could do so much better…
“I used three pokémon. He only knocked out one. I got careless once I’d already dismantled half his team with a roserade. You think I need a tyrantrum? Want one? No. This wasn’t about the fucking dragon or the alien machine. I was doing it for you.”
But she’s Shirona. A living legend. And you’re. You. “Why?” you whisper
“It’s pretty damn hard to remember right now.”
And you’d thought you’d never feel more judged than when the Lord of Shadows looked at you.
She takes a deep breath. Two. Three. “That was uncalled for,” she apologizes(?). “I’m going back to the tower to see what’s going on. Are you coming with me or not?”
You lower your head again. “No.” Not now. Not with her. Don’t want to. Don’t deserve to. Don’t… you don’t know. Don’t know what you did. How you’re feeling. Even who you are.
She boards Kagetora without a word. A wave of sand and dust washes past you.
“She’ll get over it,” Mitsuru says. “She’s just afraid.”
“Of me?” Of the god? You raise your bloody hand closer to your head. Is there a difference between the two?
“I don’t know.”
For a while you just sit in silence. Is Shirona using her as insurance? A way to strike you down from afar if she thinks it’s necessary? You couldn’t win against even one of her pokémon. She was clear about that. “Would you leave if I asked you?”
Another pause. “Are you afraid of me?”
“A little.”
“I’ll go if you promise to come back safely.”
“Okay.”
“You will be held to your word.”
Oh. You just bargained with a fairy.
…you’re off your game today.
“Noci?”
Her mind brushes against yours. Good. You were worried that she left, too.
“I guess I should tell the others.”
Noci doesn’t have a reply for that. Wasn’t a straight question.
You reach for your sash. Five balls on it. Noci’s already out. You send out Pixie, Leo, and Cuepiltia. And then pause. Coco. Guess it’s time to face her. What if she thinks you did the wrong thing? You know you should have asked her first, talked to her earlier, but. You couldn’t. Not when it could have been the last time you got to talk.
You send her out. She needs to be here.
That just leaves Sitrus. You don’t have her ball and she’s off visiting her daughter somewhere else on the island.
“What happened?” Pixie asks. “You’re bleeding, there’s ghost energy everywhere, there’s a dead human, you’re cursed? Maybe cursed? Hurt. Ghost hurt.”
You take a deep breath and think through your answer.
“Is the dead human food?” Leo asks.
“No!”
“Okay.”
You have no idea what you’re going to do with the body. Couldn’t Acerola have taken care of that? Or Shirona? You only met her Plumeria once before this. Why is it your job?
“I didn’t get my Class V,” you start. “They didn’t know more about dragons than I did. Just didn’t like me. Then I found out that…” {I’m not real. They found my body lying in a desert. I’d gone through a wormhole, went through another world. My last team… they all died. I survived. Failed them. Mind was gone. Tapu Lele put something back together. They didn’t tell me.}
Being psychic is saving you here. You wouldn’t be able to say anything over the sobs.
{Acerola… you don’t know her. Girl showed up. Said that if I gave her some blood, she would wake up an old, powerful pokémon and they would attack the government. I wouldn’t need the license anymore. I did. Plumeria died. The pokémon woke up. Dr. Karashina’s mad at me. I… I think I made a mistake.}
“Why?” Coco growls.
{I did it because—}
“Why a mistake?”
{Oh.} You pause. Thoughts are still hard. You have to stop crying and think for this and that takes a moment. {Dr. Karashina is mad. Maybe a lot of people will die. I don’t even know what the pokémon wants or what it is.}
Coco snorts. “You protected me. Let other people take care of their own families.”
She’s happy. That’s. You don’t think you expected it.
“My mother killed humans for her family. Are you mad at her?”
{No.}
“Good. If the ghost pokémon hurts you I’ll fight it.”
“So will I,” Cuepiltia says. “You fought for her more than my parents did for me.” He shrieks way, way louder than he had to.
“A-and the faller thing,” you choke out. “The other world. I’m not who I told you I was. If you want to leave… I wouldn’t be mad.”
“I don’t see why it matters,” Leo says. “You are who you are. Who you were doesn’t change that. I like who you are.”
That’s very simple. Too simple. It matters. Has to. Alice, Searah, Renfield. They died. You let them die. You keep letting people die.
“Pixie?” She’s being quiet. Might be thinking about leaving. That’s fine. You’ve hurt her enough already.
It takes her a moment. Again, weird.
“It’s okay if—”
Fuck. It’s back.
Pixie growls. Cuepiltia shrieks. Coco roars.
The ghost… you don’t know. Just know that it’s there and that it’s looking at you. Being blind doesn’t really bother you but right now it could save your life.
{What’s it doing?} you ask Noci.
[Standing still;
Initiate Ramming?]
“Cuicatl Ichtaca,” it finally says. The voice is feminine, sort of, but it’s mostly not human at all. Layered. Heavy. Cold. Ancient. Powerful. “I have a moment to speak to you now.”
“O-okay.” You swallow. Focus. Don’t show fear. You can’t beat it. You’d get your pokémon killed. You have to talk through this. Fix your own mistakes. “What do you want?”
“Two things, principally. I have just returned from the occupier’s local seat of power. Your friend has sustained only minor injuries. His enemies died where they stood.”
Oh thank—well, this god. Feels wrong to thank other ones for something it? she? did. “Thank you.”
“It was already a high priority. My primary donor insisted.”
“Then thank you for telling me.”
Not hostile, maybe. Just the scariest thing you’ve ever met.
“The second,” it moves so quickly you swear it teleported. One moment the presence felt like it was away from you, the next it’s right there. Coco growls and the earth shakes under you. The ghost ignores it. “You gave more in the sacrifice than was intended or required.”
Your heart drops. Oh no. Are you—
“Can you stand?”
“I haven’t tried,” you whisper. No. Was that taken, too?
“I see. I will seal the wound. Something slides against you. Not just against your body, but your mind, filling the part of you that’s been empty since—well, since you fell. Before then? You don’t know when he died anymore. Don’t even know if he was real. Your hand burns as hot as it did when the knife slid through it and then cools to an ache. A little worse than it should be from the cut alone. The world around you doesn’t feel quite as cold anymore. “Rest, if you can. The fight ahead is long.”
“Will I walk again?”
You sense confusion through the link. It’s pulled out a bit, and you don’t dare push into the god’s mind, but a few things seep through. “Yes? You are simply exhausted. Spiritually, physically, and emotionally.”
The air shifts and suddenly it feels as far as it was when it appeared. It’s no longer filling the void in your head.
{Query: ‘Primary’ host}
Is Noci talking to the thing? Why? Why draw its attention if she doesn’t have to?
“A clever girl, aren’t you? I drew from the energy of the ritual dagger itself and those who gave to awaken me. I contain within me a copy of your mark’s memories, such as they are, and a fraction of her spirit.”
Oh. Oh no. Does it hate you as much as you hate yourself? That’s terrifying. So much worse than you had imagined.
“You should go back to your mate, child,” it insists with a gentleness you haven’t heard from it before. It almost feels alien on the god’s tongue. “The night ahead is long and nothing kind awaits you in the darkness.”
And then it’s gone. You exhale and fall limp back onto the grass.
“Did she hurt you?” Pixie asks.
“No. Feel better.” You will need to bandage the cut. Maybe disinfect it. You don’t know if cursed daggers can have normal disease on them. And then you’ll need to explain this all over again to Lyra, Genesis, and Sitrus.
The ghost wasn’t lying. It’s going to be a long night.
[Approaching Destination;
Multiple Identified and Unidentified Humans Defending Destination;
Attackers Include Classes: Braviary, Primeape, Incineroar, Hydreigon—]
“There’s a ghost hydreigon?
[Affirmative]
You wonder if the ghosts can talk. If there’s a mind in the body.
Actually, you have no idea how any of this works. Acerola had said that it brought back dead warriors. You didn’t ask for more details.
Really should have done that. Or at least asked the main ghost. Acerola had called it the… Dead Commander? That sounds right.
“Is there anywhere safe to get in?”
[Door #7]
“Go there.”
You have no idea what Door #7 is but it’s probably fine.
Noci begins to quickly descend and you lean into her warm metal. You can’t fall off while she’s grabbing you with her telekinesis but it’s still reassuring. She levels off and slows to a stop a few seconds later. You slide off.
“Identify yourself!” a male voice calls out. “…oh, it’s you. Why were you out?”
“Guess.” You don’t know who he is or how he voted but he sounds military and they really did not seem to like you.
Maybe they were right. You just caused a lot of trouble for them.
“Fair enough. Go in.”
You withdraw Noci and extend your cane. It’s a little awkward figuring out where he is, where the door is, and how to get there but you manage. And then immediately realize you don’t know where you are in the building.
Pixie comes out and shakes herself off. “Got a clue where we are?”
She sniffs the air. “Where are we going?”
“Genesis.” You should start by explaining things to her.
“Found her.”
You used to have to press your fingertips all the way down to reach her back. Now you can just keep your hand level. She’s grown. Bigger. Stronger. Soon she’ll evolve. You’re proud of her. Just wish you hadn’t got her hurt.
A few other people hurry by you. None bother to talk. That’s fine. You don’t want to talk to them. Eventually she stops. “Door in front.”
You feel out the handle and swing it open.
“There you are!” Gen practically screams. “We were—you’re bleeding.”
“Ran into the ghosts.” True. “Got cut.” Also true. You’ll give the full truth when you know no one else is listening in.
“That’s all they did?”
“I think so.”
“Lyra, can you find a first aid kit or—something?”
“On it.” She stands up and takes a few steps towards you. “Glad you’re mostly okay.”
Then she steps past you and the door closes behind her.
“Come on, sit down.” Your girlfriend’s hands are all over you and she practically shoves you forwards and onto a couch. You drop the bag with your pokéballs in it onto the couch beside you. “We were so worried. You run off, Dr. Karashina keeps saying something’s wrong but won’t tell us what, and then the ghosts. She came back without you and…” She takes a shaky breath before sitting down next to you and pulling you into a giant hug. “I thought…”
“I’m here now,” you whisper. You lean into her to drive it home. “I’m here.”
She keeps stroking your back until the door opens again. “What cut you?” she asks.
“A knife.”
“Shit.” She kneels down and an alcohol wipe runs over the cut. It burns a lot less than the initial curse did. “It’s shallow. Straight, too. Weird. Knife wounds usually don’t look like that.”
“How do you know what knife wounds look like?” You thought she was rich. Grew up in Japan and then the United States. Shouldn’t know that kind of thing.
“Books.”
Oh. Right.
“I don’t think it needs stitches. We’ll have to wait until your blissey gets back before making a final call. Just keep pressing down on the gauze until then.”
A chair is pulled across the hard floor. You hear Lyra settle into it. “So. What happened?”
“Is there anyone else here?” you ask.
“No. Just us. A few of our pokémon.”
“Good.” A few steady breaths. Can you stay calm for this? You know Lyra hates it when you talk to her mentally and projecting to two people at once is doable but kind of hard. Dr. Livens says that it’s okay to talk with your mind when you’re stressed. And maybe someone has a pokémon listening in. “…can I talk to you psychically? I didn’t get through it without crying last time.”
“Sure,” Lyra says. “As long as… it’s fine. It’s fine. Thank you for the warning.”
You do your best to explain things. It seems like you get more of it and in the right order this time. Cry less. Maybe you’ve hit the limit of how much you can cry in one night. And this time it does start to sound more like you made a mistake. You don’t know what the ghosts are or how they work or even what they want. Didn’t even ask. Acerola just showed up with a knife and you went for it.
Stupid. Careless. Always careless. Dr. Karashina hates you now. At some point Lyra gets up and starts pacing. Gen’s hug tightens and tightens until you’re half-sure it’s an attack or a way to keep you from leaving and messing everything up again. Pixie jumps onto your lap and curls up in boredom having to hear it the second time.
“So how mad are you?” you conclude.
“Fucking. Furious.” Lyra says. “Not at you. Mostly. Shouldn’t have just run off. We’ll talk about that later.”
“Also mad,” Genesis agrees. “At Acerola, Shirona, those—those assholes who voted against you, everyone who thought they knew better than you and didn’t bother to ask.”
“Then I made the right decision…?”
“No,” both girls say at once.
“A lot of people are going to die,” Gen continues.
“I would rather not be living in Hoenn. But I understand why you did it.”
“If someone had cornered me after… after that…” Gen takes a deep breath and somehow pulls you even tighter. Pixie yaps at the jolt to her pillow. “…and they said they could make it go away, I would have done anything. I’m mad at Shirona for just letting you run off on your own. She should have made you sit down and talk to your therapist, take a nap, anything.”
“Or just not lied to you.” Lyra finally stops pacing and sits back down in her chair. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through now. Betrayed by someone who was supposed to look after you. Total memory contamination, wipe of unknown severity, no pre-contamination records to cross-reference, potential alterations with no pre-contamination witnesses to verify. I may have done something I regretted after finding that out.”
Alterations.
You knew some memories had changed but you hadn’t thought about what else Tapu Lele could have done. How much of who you are as a person was changed by her desires. If the old you died in all the ways that matter in the desert and now you’re just someone else living in her body.
“The weapon. Do you know what it does? The ghosts, obviously, but where are they coming from? When will they stop? Who really controls them?”
“Spirits who died in battle. I’m sorry. I don’t know much more. Didn’t think to ask.”
Lyra sighs. “Fuck. Just. Cuddle Gen, okay? I need a minute.”
The door opens and she slips outside. To tell someone? To get something? Your thoughts stop when Genesis starts to rub your back. It’s tense. How long have you been holding it like that? Even relaxing it doesn’t make the tension go away. Maybe nothing can. Not for a while.
Pixie jumps onto your lap and curls up. You’re trying not to rely on her. Told her that you won’t rely on her so much when she’s dealing with all of her own problems. But if you told her to go away now then she’d misunderstand. Think she wasn’t good enough. That you’re mad at her. Something. You’ll have to apologize later. For now you just stroke her. The fur is as soft as its always been. But the skin beneath is filled with bumps and scar tissue. From you? From before you? From Kalani? It’s hard to tell. Poor girl has been through too much.
You realize that you’re gripping Alice’s pokéball almost painfully tight. Not tight enough to break it. You don’t let go of it. Your hand will hurt tomorrow but it’s fine.
Eventually Lyra comes back in with hard, quick footsteps. Filled with energy she can’t or won’t burn off. Probably what she was doing. Pacing the halls. She slips into a chair and kicks her feet up onto the couch next to you. Another point of contact.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I should have insisted on more training for the thesis presentation. Been harsher. I had some idea it was coming but couldn’t fully get myself to commit to preparing you.”
That’s what this is about? “They were never going to give it to me. They were mad at who I am. Not what I said. I couldn’t change that with prettier words.” Can’t make yourself white. American. Male. Sighted. All the things they want. You never could. Stopped trying to a long time ago.
“True. Can’t change who you are. But you can change who they think you are. Sometimes that’s enough.”
The door opens and you tense up and send out a psychic pulse. Familiar mind. Sitrus. And an unknown. “Uh, sorry to interrupt, but this blissey really insisted on seeing you.” Sitrus barges in and you can feel her attention shift to you. The man coughs. “I’ll leave you to it.”
Sitrus pokes your hand and you extend it towards her. You can feel her mood sour. Physically. She can weakly project that kind of thing. “Shallow. Sharp blade. Spiritually charged. Minorly cursed. Immediate effect, nothing lingering. Likely self-inflicted. Doesn’t need stitches and I am not healing it. Now, explain why you started playing with dark artifacts the moment I left you alone.”
She’s terrifyingly good at what she does. Emphasis on terrifying.
“I’m a faller.” You don’t know if she knows what that means. She’s been around for a while.
You don’t expect her to slap your cheek. Hard. Enough that your neck hurts.
“This is your fault then? Decided to summon them? Why? What could possibly lead you to think this is better than the alternative?” She’s practically screaming. Screeching. Very high-pitched voice.
She knows that being a faller and the ghosts are connected. She knows. “You know what this is?”
“Had to talk The Captain out of it once. Guess I wasn’t fast enough here. Again. Explain.”
“They were taking Coco away from me.”
“And you just, immediately, unrepentantly, decide to light the world on fire as a solution?”
You consider lying. Hedging. Apologizing. But… yes. You would light the world on fire to protect her. You’d probably do it again, even if you would have done things a little differently.
“Yes.”
“This is why I’m not loyal to humans,” she hisses. “Pixie. We are going to have a long talk out of ear and mindshot of the idiot human you’re following.”
The fox slowly, reluctantly stands up to all fours and arches her back into your hand. You get it. Sitrus is good for her. Whatever happens, you’d just be glad she’s in better hands than yours. She jumps off and follows Sitrus to the door. The closed door. And they both have shitty hands.
“Noci, can you open that?”
The door swings open and then promptly slams shut.
“You’ll have to do it again when they come back.”
[Order Received;
Will Continue To Surveil]
“What was that about?” Gen angrily(?) demands.
“She knows what the blade is. What all this is. And she’s mad that I started it.”
Lyra snorts. “Pretty damn mad if a blissey is attacking people. You’re not hurt, are you?”
“She’s a blissey. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, no. She could break your neck with a slap if she wanted.”
You vaguely remember hearing that. You’d assumed it was a joke. Or a story for children to keep them from bothering the healer.
It takes a while to settle back down but you manage it by the time the door opens again. Pixie trots over and stops a meter or so away.
“Can the ghosts beat a tapu?”
“I don’t know? Maybe.” They must be strong if Acerola thought they could beat the Americans.
“They listen to you?”
“No idea? It said that they have to do what Plumeria wants. And I’m also part of it, so, maybe.”
It thought it was above you. Far above you. And it didn’t sound like it had to do what Acerola wanted. You’re used to dealing with things that are stronger of you. Demands are no good. If you asked nicely…
“I’ll stay,” Pixie says. “To make a home.”
Make a home. One for herself and the other vulpix. Not with you. It’s a good idea. You get it. The second home was gone forever you declared war on the world you found yourself in.
“I will be supervising,” Sitrus growls. You didn’t even know blissey could do that. “Since you clearly cannot be trusted to be on your own for one day.”
She plops herself down on the floor dramatically. You can feel her eyes boring holes into you. Pixie goes to sit beside her. You still have Gen and Lyra beside you but the entire room feels awkward. Tense. Impossible to relax. That’s probably the point.
“You know what’s going on, don’t you?” Lyra asks. “Care to tell us. We don’t know much. Cuicatl wasn’t spiraling and didn’t ask questions.”
Dismissing you as weak. Maybe relying on Sitrus to care how humans feel. Most blissey do, probably. She really doesn’t.
“I’m not helping you use your weapon.”
You translate. You hope they don’t talk for too much longer. Sitrus is set in her path and you don’t want to talk. Just want to nap. Or wake up. You would really like to wake up. Learn that all of this was a weird nightmare.
“We don’t want to use the weapon. Just survive it. Or know if someone else who hates it will try to kill Cuicatl to stop it.”
“They would try to do that whether or not it would help. Just if it might. Humans are so, so predictable.” You can feel her attention shift, her voice rise. “And yet I still underestimate how quick you are to bloodshed the moment something stands in your way.”
You don’t translate the last part. Sitrus huffs when you stop but doesn’t say anything about it.
“Be nice,” Lyra snaps. “She was going through a full-on breakdown. Just started recovering.”
Just started? You’d already calmed down when you got here. That ended… you can’t pinpoint when. Just that it did. Why does she think it didn’t?
“I understand that. But not the choice to make it everyone else’s problem.”
“Just stop,” you groan. At Lyra. At Sitrus. “I’m done.” You don’t need to be reminded that Dr. Karashina, Lyra, your girlfriend, and now the only really-full-on-adult pokémon on your team all think you fucked up. That you’re a fuckup. Careless.
Gen wraps an arm around you and you lean into it. She’s warm. Soft. Nice. This is better.
No one speaks again until the door swings open and Dr. Karashina’s heels click-clack on the floor. You wonder if she’s been wearing them the whole time. If she just took them off to go and follow you and fight the ghosts or whatever she’s been doing. You look down. She’s going to be mad. Maybe madder than she was in the field now that she’s had time to think.
You just want it over with.
“Cuicatl, can we talk privately?”
“No,” Lyra hisses. “You can’t.”
Gen’s side-hug becomes almost uncomfortably tight.
There are a few moments of silence even tenser than it was before.
“Fine. You’re right. I made mistakes.” She’s apologizing? You don’t think you’ve heard it before. Before today you just kind of thought that she didn’t make mistakes. Now. You don’t even know who messed up and when or really what’s even happening and why. “I spoke with Solomon. He recognizes the type of magic. I’ll need to let him do a checkup on you later to look for lasting effects. Whatever this is it’s old, esoteric, and probably alien.”
“That started as an apology,” Lyra says. “It didn’t end like one. Care to explain what you’re sorry for?”
You can practically hear them sizing each other up. Lyra’s brave. A tiny barking dog staring down a giant predator.
“I had no idea the defense was going to immediately descend into petty bullshit. I’ve seen dissertation defenses before. Never anything like that. I’d assumed there would at least be a veneer of propriety and a pretense of considering her merits as a trainer and academic. Not whatever that was. If I’d known I would have done a lot of things differently.”
“You’re not sorry for lying to her,” Gen says. She sounds angry and you shy away on reflex. You’re pretty sure that she’s angry for you. Still not something you’re used to. People are usually angry at you and it’s best to get small and quiet until they move on to something else.
She exhales. “No, I’m not.” You can sense words, violent ones, spring to the front in both Lyra and Gen’s minds. Shirona cuts them off before they can even speak. “I only learned just before I had to leave for Sinnoh for several weeks. It seemed unwise to drop that on you before leaving you relatively unsupervised for an extended period in one of the most dangerous wildernesses in Alola. Afterwards I genuinely thought that the thesis defense would go to plan and, after everything was secured, I would let you know. If I’d known how these things actually worked telling you as soon as I returned would have been the first of the many things I did differently.”
“You said you had plans if I didn’t get it,” you ask before Lyra or Gen can keep arguing and arguing and arguing when your soul is almost too tired to care.
“I could have gotten a license for you in Sinnoh. It would have required throwing my weight around more than I like to these days but it would have happened. I didn’t tell you because I thought you would get it and didn’t want to make it sound like I expected you to fail. In hindsight, I should have told you about the contingencies. Again, I am sorry.
“Now, I need to know if your presence on the islands is necessary for the ghosts or if they will try to stop you from leaving. Once I know that I can work on evacuation plans, temporary visas, and everything else.”
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.” Lyra. Still not letting things go. You don’t even know how to feel about Dr. Karashina’s not-apology. Don’t even know if you can feel right now. “The last time you made decisions for her because you thought you knew best, this happened. Give her a break. Let her decide where she’s going.”
“You know what’s going on in Alola, right?” the champion asks.
“No, actually. Cell service is down.”
“Fine.” Dr. Karashina sits down in a chair. It squeaks on the floor. “Second Pearl Harbor ended in a draw with both air forces and half the navy destroyed. Mixed results everywhere else. The cities are swarmed with ghosts and the cops have either been killed or stopped fighting. Navy’s pulling back. If I had to guess they’re going to research whatever’s going on while blockading and bombing the islands until they figure it out. My grandma told me what it’s like to live under American bombing. Things are going to get really bad, really quickly.”
“We’re Americans,” Gen insists. “They can’t bomb us.”
Lyra laughs / chokes. Shirona sighs.
“The President’s already tweeted out threats to unleash, and I quote, ‘fire and fury.’ You can take a guess what that means.”
Cold dread settles in your stomach. Guess you can still feel things.
“Kekoa’s in Hau’oli,” you whisper. “Do you think…?”
“I don’t know.”
You aren’t sure what you asked. What she answered. Or you do know and don’t want to think about it.
Before you can dwell on it Dr. Karashina cuts back in. “Can I talk to her in private for thirty seconds? Please. I’m not asking for much.”
She’s asking teenagers for permission to talk to someone. The world’s gone mad. She’s strong enough to just take what she wants.
“Fine.” Lyra hisses. “I will be counting.”
Gen releases you. Guess you don’t have a say in this. You would agree to talk if she asked. You don’t want to but. You want to know how mad she is and you know she won’t reveal it in front of them. Still has to pretend she wants to take you back to Sinnoh.
Noci escorts you into the hallway. It’s eerily quiet, now. Did everyone else leave? How? Where to?
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Karashina apologizes again. “I’ve never tried to raise a kid before and had no idea what I was doing. Messed everything up.” Past tense. It’s over, then. You aren’t sure how you feel about that. You should be mad still. Lied to you. Hurt you. Thing is, though, you’re used to that. You’ve forgiven… think you’ve forgiven family for far worse.
But you don’t want to be yelled at or lied to anymore and she’s already lied and will yell more and more if she’s mad at you. Mad at you because you fucked up. Not just dropping a plate or overcooking something or bleeding on the floor but getting people killed. Maybe a lot of people killed. Maybe people you care about.
You’ve lied to Coco. Never raised your voice. Almost the same as her. You shouldn’t be mad at someone for things you’ve done. But you are mad at yourself. All the time.
“It’s fine,” you tell her. And maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. You don’t know. Don’t know anything anymore. “Let’s go back inside.”
“I… okay.”
And that’s the end of that.
Cuicatl
July 24, 2020
You feel weak. Like your muscles all went on strike at once. Like you haven’t eaten in days. Your heart hammers in your chest like it wants to tear itself out as a second offering. Air enters your lungs but refuses to stay. You almost drop the dagger as you collapse to the ground.
Someone touches you shortly after. “Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Acerola whispers. “Spiritual sacrifices are a hell of a rush the first time. Don’t worry. It’ll all be better in a week or two.”
You groan and shift to a more comfortable position. Acerola gives you a final head pat and leaves. You hear her talk to Plumeria but the words go straight through your head without a pause.
There’s a sound of slicing flesh. And then something strikes the ground. What. {Noci?}
[UD_Plumeria Attacked UD_Plumeria;
UD_Plumeria Has Gone Offline;
UD—Situation Rapidly Developing, Please Hold]
“Welcome, Dread Commander of the Marching Shadows,” Acerola says. Her voice quivers. Fear? Surprise? She’s supposed to know what’s happening.
“Princess.” The voice… it’s like Plumeria. But so much more. There’s scorn in it. For her? Hopefully. You can feel its attention turn to you. Not normal judgment. Not just seeing through you. In just one moment it knows everything there is to know about you and it finds you wanting. “Princess.” There’s almost pity this time. Thankfully, the attention leaves and you can shrink back in on yourself. “Where is the representative of my people.”
“Right there.”
The horrible attention shifts back to you. No. Please. Anywhere else. “She is not from the eternal city.”
“But she’s from beyond the stars! That was the requirement.”
“Hmm.” The ghost sounds terribly unconvinced. “I was supposed to be solemnly summoned by a representative of my creator, not a scared child from another civilization entirely.”
“You appeared anyway.” Acerola sounds more angry than frightened now. How? Does she not feel the weight of being known? The endless strength of the creature before her? The whispers of the dead too loud to ignore and too faint to understand? “Will you fight?”
There’s a pause before the thing’s attention changes. You don’t dare breathe. Not when it could come back in a moment. “I will. Even if the method was improper the purpose is correct. I will secure this land for the allies of my creator.”
And then it’s gone.
You take deep breaths and shake from more than weakness.
“Sorry about that,” she finally says.
“W-what did he mean? I’m not good enough?”
“Looks like I made a translation error. I was probably supposed to get Nanu for this but he wouldn’t have gone along, ever, so—at least it worked?”
“How are you still standing?” Wasn’t she judged, too?
“Ever met an angry ghost?”
“There was an oricorio,” you whisper. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “They can be a lot.”
She puts a hand in yours and you recoil. Cold. Your hand—her hand—both—so, so cold.
“Oops, yeah, spiritual wounds. Uh. Sorry?”
There’s a booming roar. The primal cry of an angry dragon blasted through a war horn. You know the voice. No. Not her. Not now.
The garchomp lands and the ground shakes around you. A slide and two smaller steps follow.
“Acerola, Cuicatl.” Shirona’s voice is cold and her words are short. She’s angrier than you’ve ever heard her. If you hadn’t just been judged by…whatever that was…this would be what made you break.
“Hey, Shirry! What’chu doing here?” Acerola also sounds unlike herself. Like a child puppeting her body.
“Why is there a dead body? What is a white florges doing here? Why did you attack my lucario?”
Acerola sounds very unconcerned with the angry champion and her dragon. “Huh. So, he got back to base?”
“No, I did!” Mitsuru warbles before her talons softly touch down.
“Oh. Right. Probably should’ve figured you’d keep two sets of eyes on your… ward? Protégé? Kid? The ghosts weren’t quite sure what was going on with you two.”
“What. Did. You. Do?” Shirona hisses. It’s almost scarier than her dragon’s roar.
“Fine. Straight to business. There’s an old Alolan god that’s been sealed away for ages. Needed Cuicatl’s help to wake him up. She’ll be fine, by the way.”
“Again! You saw Hoenn, saw—saw everything and decided this was a good fucking idea?“ Shirona shouts. “Where is it?”
“Like you can talk. I can sense The Devourer’s mark on you.” There’s a chill in the air when she says the word. Like it’s watching you right now. “You can’t make a pact with Him and then lecture me on my rituals.”
You have no idea what’s going on. Barely know what the Alolan god is. No idea about The Devourer. Neither woman seems like they’re about to explain things to you.
“The world was ending,” Shirona snaps.
“And our world ended a century ago.”
“Almighty Sinnoh this is a colonialism thing,” Shirona breathes / hisses / sighs. “Look, I understand, my people were wiped out ages ago and then decimated again by the Japanese. But it’s been thousands of years and not one of the Celestica ever brought the gods in. You want to know why? Because however much we’ve lost, we know we still had more to lose. You’re going to find that out very, very soon.”
“Ooh! Is that a threat? Is Miss Big, Bad Champion walking into a foreign country and trying to take it over?”
“I don’t care about your games, kid. I will save what I can. Even if I have to destroy you to do it.”
“Even if you have to destroy Cuicatl?”
There’s a heavy pause. Wait. Are you… is it still bound to you? Can it be destroyed by killing you?
You just wanted to keep your daughter safe and now—
You just want to lie down. Cuddle Genesis or Pixie. Make it all go away. And now Shirona’s probably going to kill you because…
Maybe nothing matters, anyway. You were never real. You can’t—couldn’t save Alice. Maybe you deserve this.
“Dragon rush.”
You lower your head and wait for the end. Instead, you only feel a rush of cold air and hear the garchomp’s growl of displeasure.
“Damn it. Got away,” Shirona hisses.
Oh. Was she going for Acerola? The florges? You kind of assumed… actually, why hasn’t the florges spoken? You thought fairies never shut up. A quick mental push finds nothing. They might have left a long time ago. Just used glamour to cover it.
Just like a fairy to flee from a fight.
You can feel it when Shirona’s full attention fall on you. Just a little less scary than the god’s. “Explain yourself. Now.”
Okay. You take a shaky breath. You can do this. “I was on the hill when Acerola came. Started talking about fallers and Alola and—Gen’s parents got away and—the Florges, she let Kekoa go, Plumeria had a knife I don’t know if she’s dead.” Another shaky breath. “I was protecting Coco.”
“It was taken care of,” she snaps. “You just had to go to Sinnoh for a while. If you’d just calmed down and come inside, I would have told you. None of this had to happen!”
You scowl. “Maybe you were just using me to get Coco. Like the dragon gym guy. This was all planned.”
She laughs. Loudly. Madly. Like nothing you’ve heard from her before. “Kid. I had a challenger while you were traveling with Mitsuru. He’d been training for five years. Watched all the footage he could find of my battles. Managed his pokémon’s diet and exercise to a fault, splurged on TMs, lived and breathed battling. Landed back-to-back wins against four of the strongest trainers in Sinnoh. You want to know how far he got against me?”
The question hangs. Is she judging you again? Telling you how much less you are than this boy? That she could do so much better…
“I used three pokémon. He only knocked out one. I got careless once I’d already dismantled half his team with a roserade. You think I need a tyrantrum? Want one? No. This wasn’t about the fucking dragon or the alien machine. I was doing it for you.”
But she’s Shirona. A living legend. And you’re. You. “Why?” you whisper
“It’s pretty damn hard to remember right now.”
And you’d thought you’d never feel more judged than when the Lord of Shadows looked at you.
She takes a deep breath. Two. Three. “That was uncalled for,” she apologizes(?). “I’m going back to the tower to see what’s going on. Are you coming with me or not?”
You lower your head again. “No.” Not now. Not with her. Don’t want to. Don’t deserve to. Don’t… you don’t know. Don’t know what you did. How you’re feeling. Even who you are.
She boards Kagetora without a word. A wave of sand and dust washes past you.
“She’ll get over it,” Mitsuru says. “She’s just afraid.”
“Of me?” Of the god? You raise your bloody hand closer to your head. Is there a difference between the two?
“I don’t know.”
For a while you just sit in silence. Is Shirona using her as insurance? A way to strike you down from afar if she thinks it’s necessary? You couldn’t win against even one of her pokémon. She was clear about that. “Would you leave if I asked you?”
Another pause. “Are you afraid of me?”
“A little.”
“I’ll go if you promise to come back safely.”
“Okay.”
“You will be held to your word.”
Oh. You just bargained with a fairy.
…you’re off your game today.
“Noci?”
Her mind brushes against yours. Good. You were worried that she left, too.
“I guess I should tell the others.”
Noci doesn’t have a reply for that. Wasn’t a straight question.
You reach for your sash. Five balls on it. Noci’s already out. You send out Pixie, Leo, and Cuepiltia. And then pause. Coco. Guess it’s time to face her. What if she thinks you did the wrong thing? You know you should have asked her first, talked to her earlier, but. You couldn’t. Not when it could have been the last time you got to talk.
You send her out. She needs to be here.
That just leaves Sitrus. You don’t have her ball and she’s off visiting her daughter somewhere else on the island.
“What happened?” Pixie asks. “You’re bleeding, there’s ghost energy everywhere, there’s a dead human, you’re cursed? Maybe cursed? Hurt. Ghost hurt.”
You take a deep breath and think through your answer.
“Is the dead human food?” Leo asks.
“No!”
“Okay.”
You have no idea what you’re going to do with the body. Couldn’t Acerola have taken care of that? Or Shirona? You only met her Plumeria once before this. Why is it your job?
“I didn’t get my Class V,” you start. “They didn’t know more about dragons than I did. Just didn’t like me. Then I found out that…” {I’m not real. They found my body lying in a desert. I’d gone through a wormhole, went through another world. My last team… they all died. I survived. Failed them. Mind was gone. Tapu Lele put something back together. They didn’t tell me.}
Being psychic is saving you here. You wouldn’t be able to say anything over the sobs.
{Acerola… you don’t know her. Girl showed up. Said that if I gave her some blood, she would wake up an old, powerful pokémon and they would attack the government. I wouldn’t need the license anymore. I did. Plumeria died. The pokémon woke up. Dr. Karashina’s mad at me. I… I think I made a mistake.}
“Why?” Coco growls.
{I did it because—}
“Why a mistake?”
{Oh.} You pause. Thoughts are still hard. You have to stop crying and think for this and that takes a moment. {Dr. Karashina is mad. Maybe a lot of people will die. I don’t even know what the pokémon wants or what it is.}
Coco snorts. “You protected me. Let other people take care of their own families.”
She’s happy. That’s. You don’t think you expected it.
“My mother killed humans for her family. Are you mad at her?”
{No.}
“Good. If the ghost pokémon hurts you I’ll fight it.”
“So will I,” Cuepiltia says. “You fought for her more than my parents did for me.” He shrieks way, way louder than he had to.
“A-and the faller thing,” you choke out. “The other world. I’m not who I told you I was. If you want to leave… I wouldn’t be mad.”
“I don’t see why it matters,” Leo says. “You are who you are. Who you were doesn’t change that. I like who you are.”
That’s very simple. Too simple. It matters. Has to. Alice, Searah, Renfield. They died. You let them die. You keep letting people die.
“Pixie?” She’s being quiet. Might be thinking about leaving. That’s fine. You’ve hurt her enough already.
It takes her a moment. Again, weird.
“It’s okay if—”
Fuck. It’s back.
Pixie growls. Cuepiltia shrieks. Coco roars.
The ghost… you don’t know. Just know that it’s there and that it’s looking at you. Being blind doesn’t really bother you but right now it could save your life.
{What’s it doing?} you ask Noci.
[Standing still;
Initiate Ramming?]
“Cuicatl Ichtaca,” it finally says. The voice is feminine, sort of, but it’s mostly not human at all. Layered. Heavy. Cold. Ancient. Powerful. “I have a moment to speak to you now.”
“O-okay.” You swallow. Focus. Don’t show fear. You can’t beat it. You’d get your pokémon killed. You have to talk through this. Fix your own mistakes. “What do you want?”
“Two things, principally. I have just returned from the occupier’s local seat of power. Your friend has sustained only minor injuries. His enemies died where they stood.”
Oh thank—well, this god. Feels wrong to thank other ones for something it? she? did. “Thank you.”
“It was already a high priority. My primary donor insisted.”
“Then thank you for telling me.”
Not hostile, maybe. Just the scariest thing you’ve ever met.
“The second,” it moves so quickly you swear it teleported. One moment the presence felt like it was away from you, the next it’s right there. Coco growls and the earth shakes under you. The ghost ignores it. “You gave more in the sacrifice than was intended or required.”
Your heart drops. Oh no. Are you—
“Can you stand?”
“I haven’t tried,” you whisper. No. Was that taken, too?
“I see. I will seal the wound. Something slides against you. Not just against your body, but your mind, filling the part of you that’s been empty since—well, since you fell. Before then? You don’t know when he died anymore. Don’t even know if he was real. Your hand burns as hot as it did when the knife slid through it and then cools to an ache. A little worse than it should be from the cut alone. The world around you doesn’t feel quite as cold anymore. “Rest, if you can. The fight ahead is long.”
“Will I walk again?”
You sense confusion through the link. It’s pulled out a bit, and you don’t dare push into the god’s mind, but a few things seep through. “Yes? You are simply exhausted. Spiritually, physically, and emotionally.”
The air shifts and suddenly it feels as far as it was when it appeared. It’s no longer filling the void in your head.
{Query: ‘Primary’ host}
Is Noci talking to the thing? Why? Why draw its attention if she doesn’t have to?
“A clever girl, aren’t you? I drew from the energy of the ritual dagger itself and those who gave to awaken me. I contain within me a copy of your mark’s memories, such as they are, and a fraction of her spirit.”
Oh. Oh no. Does it hate you as much as you hate yourself? That’s terrifying. So much worse than you had imagined.
“You should go back to your mate, child,” it insists with a gentleness you haven’t heard from it before. It almost feels alien on the god’s tongue. “The night ahead is long and nothing kind awaits you in the darkness.”
And then it’s gone. You exhale and fall limp back onto the grass.
“Did she hurt you?” Pixie asks.
“No. Feel better.” You will need to bandage the cut. Maybe disinfect it. You don’t know if cursed daggers can have normal disease on them. And then you’ll need to explain this all over again to Lyra, Genesis, and Sitrus.
The ghost wasn’t lying. It’s going to be a long night.
*
[Approaching Destination;
Multiple Identified and Unidentified Humans Defending Destination;
Attackers Include Classes: Braviary, Primeape, Incineroar, Hydreigon—]
“There’s a ghost hydreigon?
[Affirmative]
You wonder if the ghosts can talk. If there’s a mind in the body.
Actually, you have no idea how any of this works. Acerola had said that it brought back dead warriors. You didn’t ask for more details.
Really should have done that. Or at least asked the main ghost. Acerola had called it the… Dead Commander? That sounds right.
“Is there anywhere safe to get in?”
[Door #7]
“Go there.”
You have no idea what Door #7 is but it’s probably fine.
Noci begins to quickly descend and you lean into her warm metal. You can’t fall off while she’s grabbing you with her telekinesis but it’s still reassuring. She levels off and slows to a stop a few seconds later. You slide off.
“Identify yourself!” a male voice calls out. “…oh, it’s you. Why were you out?”
“Guess.” You don’t know who he is or how he voted but he sounds military and they really did not seem to like you.
Maybe they were right. You just caused a lot of trouble for them.
“Fair enough. Go in.”
You withdraw Noci and extend your cane. It’s a little awkward figuring out where he is, where the door is, and how to get there but you manage. And then immediately realize you don’t know where you are in the building.
Pixie comes out and shakes herself off. “Got a clue where we are?”
She sniffs the air. “Where are we going?”
“Genesis.” You should start by explaining things to her.
“Found her.”
You used to have to press your fingertips all the way down to reach her back. Now you can just keep your hand level. She’s grown. Bigger. Stronger. Soon she’ll evolve. You’re proud of her. Just wish you hadn’t got her hurt.
A few other people hurry by you. None bother to talk. That’s fine. You don’t want to talk to them. Eventually she stops. “Door in front.”
You feel out the handle and swing it open.
“There you are!” Gen practically screams. “We were—you’re bleeding.”
“Ran into the ghosts.” True. “Got cut.” Also true. You’ll give the full truth when you know no one else is listening in.
“That’s all they did?”
“I think so.”
“Lyra, can you find a first aid kit or—something?”
“On it.” She stands up and takes a few steps towards you. “Glad you’re mostly okay.”
Then she steps past you and the door closes behind her.
“Come on, sit down.” Your girlfriend’s hands are all over you and she practically shoves you forwards and onto a couch. You drop the bag with your pokéballs in it onto the couch beside you. “We were so worried. You run off, Dr. Karashina keeps saying something’s wrong but won’t tell us what, and then the ghosts. She came back without you and…” She takes a shaky breath before sitting down next to you and pulling you into a giant hug. “I thought…”
“I’m here now,” you whisper. You lean into her to drive it home. “I’m here.”
She keeps stroking your back until the door opens again. “What cut you?” she asks.
“A knife.”
“Shit.” She kneels down and an alcohol wipe runs over the cut. It burns a lot less than the initial curse did. “It’s shallow. Straight, too. Weird. Knife wounds usually don’t look like that.”
“How do you know what knife wounds look like?” You thought she was rich. Grew up in Japan and then the United States. Shouldn’t know that kind of thing.
“Books.”
Oh. Right.
“I don’t think it needs stitches. We’ll have to wait until your blissey gets back before making a final call. Just keep pressing down on the gauze until then.”
A chair is pulled across the hard floor. You hear Lyra settle into it. “So. What happened?”
“Is there anyone else here?” you ask.
“No. Just us. A few of our pokémon.”
“Good.” A few steady breaths. Can you stay calm for this? You know Lyra hates it when you talk to her mentally and projecting to two people at once is doable but kind of hard. Dr. Livens says that it’s okay to talk with your mind when you’re stressed. And maybe someone has a pokémon listening in. “…can I talk to you psychically? I didn’t get through it without crying last time.”
“Sure,” Lyra says. “As long as… it’s fine. It’s fine. Thank you for the warning.”
You do your best to explain things. It seems like you get more of it and in the right order this time. Cry less. Maybe you’ve hit the limit of how much you can cry in one night. And this time it does start to sound more like you made a mistake. You don’t know what the ghosts are or how they work or even what they want. Didn’t even ask. Acerola just showed up with a knife and you went for it.
Stupid. Careless. Always careless. Dr. Karashina hates you now. At some point Lyra gets up and starts pacing. Gen’s hug tightens and tightens until you’re half-sure it’s an attack or a way to keep you from leaving and messing everything up again. Pixie jumps onto your lap and curls up in boredom having to hear it the second time.
“So how mad are you?” you conclude.
“Fucking. Furious.” Lyra says. “Not at you. Mostly. Shouldn’t have just run off. We’ll talk about that later.”
“Also mad,” Genesis agrees. “At Acerola, Shirona, those—those assholes who voted against you, everyone who thought they knew better than you and didn’t bother to ask.”
“Then I made the right decision…?”
“No,” both girls say at once.
“A lot of people are going to die,” Gen continues.
“I would rather not be living in Hoenn. But I understand why you did it.”
“If someone had cornered me after… after that…” Gen takes a deep breath and somehow pulls you even tighter. Pixie yaps at the jolt to her pillow. “…and they said they could make it go away, I would have done anything. I’m mad at Shirona for just letting you run off on your own. She should have made you sit down and talk to your therapist, take a nap, anything.”
“Or just not lied to you.” Lyra finally stops pacing and sits back down in her chair. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through now. Betrayed by someone who was supposed to look after you. Total memory contamination, wipe of unknown severity, no pre-contamination records to cross-reference, potential alterations with no pre-contamination witnesses to verify. I may have done something I regretted after finding that out.”
Alterations.
You knew some memories had changed but you hadn’t thought about what else Tapu Lele could have done. How much of who you are as a person was changed by her desires. If the old you died in all the ways that matter in the desert and now you’re just someone else living in her body.
“The weapon. Do you know what it does? The ghosts, obviously, but where are they coming from? When will they stop? Who really controls them?”
“Spirits who died in battle. I’m sorry. I don’t know much more. Didn’t think to ask.”
Lyra sighs. “Fuck. Just. Cuddle Gen, okay? I need a minute.”
The door opens and she slips outside. To tell someone? To get something? Your thoughts stop when Genesis starts to rub your back. It’s tense. How long have you been holding it like that? Even relaxing it doesn’t make the tension go away. Maybe nothing can. Not for a while.
Pixie jumps onto your lap and curls up. You’re trying not to rely on her. Told her that you won’t rely on her so much when she’s dealing with all of her own problems. But if you told her to go away now then she’d misunderstand. Think she wasn’t good enough. That you’re mad at her. Something. You’ll have to apologize later. For now you just stroke her. The fur is as soft as its always been. But the skin beneath is filled with bumps and scar tissue. From you? From before you? From Kalani? It’s hard to tell. Poor girl has been through too much.
You realize that you’re gripping Alice’s pokéball almost painfully tight. Not tight enough to break it. You don’t let go of it. Your hand will hurt tomorrow but it’s fine.
Eventually Lyra comes back in with hard, quick footsteps. Filled with energy she can’t or won’t burn off. Probably what she was doing. Pacing the halls. She slips into a chair and kicks her feet up onto the couch next to you. Another point of contact.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I should have insisted on more training for the thesis presentation. Been harsher. I had some idea it was coming but couldn’t fully get myself to commit to preparing you.”
That’s what this is about? “They were never going to give it to me. They were mad at who I am. Not what I said. I couldn’t change that with prettier words.” Can’t make yourself white. American. Male. Sighted. All the things they want. You never could. Stopped trying to a long time ago.
“True. Can’t change who you are. But you can change who they think you are. Sometimes that’s enough.”
The door opens and you tense up and send out a psychic pulse. Familiar mind. Sitrus. And an unknown. “Uh, sorry to interrupt, but this blissey really insisted on seeing you.” Sitrus barges in and you can feel her attention shift to you. The man coughs. “I’ll leave you to it.”
Sitrus pokes your hand and you extend it towards her. You can feel her mood sour. Physically. She can weakly project that kind of thing. “Shallow. Sharp blade. Spiritually charged. Minorly cursed. Immediate effect, nothing lingering. Likely self-inflicted. Doesn’t need stitches and I am not healing it. Now, explain why you started playing with dark artifacts the moment I left you alone.”
She’s terrifyingly good at what she does. Emphasis on terrifying.
“I’m a faller.” You don’t know if she knows what that means. She’s been around for a while.
You don’t expect her to slap your cheek. Hard. Enough that your neck hurts.
“This is your fault then? Decided to summon them? Why? What could possibly lead you to think this is better than the alternative?” She’s practically screaming. Screeching. Very high-pitched voice.
She knows that being a faller and the ghosts are connected. She knows. “You know what this is?”
“Had to talk The Captain out of it once. Guess I wasn’t fast enough here. Again. Explain.”
“They were taking Coco away from me.”
“And you just, immediately, unrepentantly, decide to light the world on fire as a solution?”
You consider lying. Hedging. Apologizing. But… yes. You would light the world on fire to protect her. You’d probably do it again, even if you would have done things a little differently.
“Yes.”
“This is why I’m not loyal to humans,” she hisses. “Pixie. We are going to have a long talk out of ear and mindshot of the idiot human you’re following.”
The fox slowly, reluctantly stands up to all fours and arches her back into your hand. You get it. Sitrus is good for her. Whatever happens, you’d just be glad she’s in better hands than yours. She jumps off and follows Sitrus to the door. The closed door. And they both have shitty hands.
“Noci, can you open that?”
The door swings open and then promptly slams shut.
“You’ll have to do it again when they come back.”
[Order Received;
Will Continue To Surveil]
“What was that about?” Gen angrily(?) demands.
“She knows what the blade is. What all this is. And she’s mad that I started it.”
Lyra snorts. “Pretty damn mad if a blissey is attacking people. You’re not hurt, are you?”
“She’s a blissey. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, no. She could break your neck with a slap if she wanted.”
You vaguely remember hearing that. You’d assumed it was a joke. Or a story for children to keep them from bothering the healer.
It takes a while to settle back down but you manage it by the time the door opens again. Pixie trots over and stops a meter or so away.
“Can the ghosts beat a tapu?”
“I don’t know? Maybe.” They must be strong if Acerola thought they could beat the Americans.
“They listen to you?”
“No idea? It said that they have to do what Plumeria wants. And I’m also part of it, so, maybe.”
It thought it was above you. Far above you. And it didn’t sound like it had to do what Acerola wanted. You’re used to dealing with things that are stronger of you. Demands are no good. If you asked nicely…
“I’ll stay,” Pixie says. “To make a home.”
Make a home. One for herself and the other vulpix. Not with you. It’s a good idea. You get it. The second home was gone forever you declared war on the world you found yourself in.
“I will be supervising,” Sitrus growls. You didn’t even know blissey could do that. “Since you clearly cannot be trusted to be on your own for one day.”
She plops herself down on the floor dramatically. You can feel her eyes boring holes into you. Pixie goes to sit beside her. You still have Gen and Lyra beside you but the entire room feels awkward. Tense. Impossible to relax. That’s probably the point.
“You know what’s going on, don’t you?” Lyra asks. “Care to tell us. We don’t know much. Cuicatl wasn’t spiraling and didn’t ask questions.”
Dismissing you as weak. Maybe relying on Sitrus to care how humans feel. Most blissey do, probably. She really doesn’t.
“I’m not helping you use your weapon.”
You translate. You hope they don’t talk for too much longer. Sitrus is set in her path and you don’t want to talk. Just want to nap. Or wake up. You would really like to wake up. Learn that all of this was a weird nightmare.
“We don’t want to use the weapon. Just survive it. Or know if someone else who hates it will try to kill Cuicatl to stop it.”
“They would try to do that whether or not it would help. Just if it might. Humans are so, so predictable.” You can feel her attention shift, her voice rise. “And yet I still underestimate how quick you are to bloodshed the moment something stands in your way.”
You don’t translate the last part. Sitrus huffs when you stop but doesn’t say anything about it.
“Be nice,” Lyra snaps. “She was going through a full-on breakdown. Just started recovering.”
Just started? You’d already calmed down when you got here. That ended… you can’t pinpoint when. Just that it did. Why does she think it didn’t?
“I understand that. But not the choice to make it everyone else’s problem.”
“Just stop,” you groan. At Lyra. At Sitrus. “I’m done.” You don’t need to be reminded that Dr. Karashina, Lyra, your girlfriend, and now the only really-full-on-adult pokémon on your team all think you fucked up. That you’re a fuckup. Careless.
Gen wraps an arm around you and you lean into it. She’s warm. Soft. Nice. This is better.
No one speaks again until the door swings open and Dr. Karashina’s heels click-clack on the floor. You wonder if she’s been wearing them the whole time. If she just took them off to go and follow you and fight the ghosts or whatever she’s been doing. You look down. She’s going to be mad. Maybe madder than she was in the field now that she’s had time to think.
You just want it over with.
“Cuicatl, can we talk privately?”
“No,” Lyra hisses. “You can’t.”
Gen’s side-hug becomes almost uncomfortably tight.
There are a few moments of silence even tenser than it was before.
“Fine. You’re right. I made mistakes.” She’s apologizing? You don’t think you’ve heard it before. Before today you just kind of thought that she didn’t make mistakes. Now. You don’t even know who messed up and when or really what’s even happening and why. “I spoke with Solomon. He recognizes the type of magic. I’ll need to let him do a checkup on you later to look for lasting effects. Whatever this is it’s old, esoteric, and probably alien.”
“That started as an apology,” Lyra says. “It didn’t end like one. Care to explain what you’re sorry for?”
You can practically hear them sizing each other up. Lyra’s brave. A tiny barking dog staring down a giant predator.
“I had no idea the defense was going to immediately descend into petty bullshit. I’ve seen dissertation defenses before. Never anything like that. I’d assumed there would at least be a veneer of propriety and a pretense of considering her merits as a trainer and academic. Not whatever that was. If I’d known I would have done a lot of things differently.”
“You’re not sorry for lying to her,” Gen says. She sounds angry and you shy away on reflex. You’re pretty sure that she’s angry for you. Still not something you’re used to. People are usually angry at you and it’s best to get small and quiet until they move on to something else.
She exhales. “No, I’m not.” You can sense words, violent ones, spring to the front in both Lyra and Gen’s minds. Shirona cuts them off before they can even speak. “I only learned just before I had to leave for Sinnoh for several weeks. It seemed unwise to drop that on you before leaving you relatively unsupervised for an extended period in one of the most dangerous wildernesses in Alola. Afterwards I genuinely thought that the thesis defense would go to plan and, after everything was secured, I would let you know. If I’d known how these things actually worked telling you as soon as I returned would have been the first of the many things I did differently.”
“You said you had plans if I didn’t get it,” you ask before Lyra or Gen can keep arguing and arguing and arguing when your soul is almost too tired to care.
“I could have gotten a license for you in Sinnoh. It would have required throwing my weight around more than I like to these days but it would have happened. I didn’t tell you because I thought you would get it and didn’t want to make it sound like I expected you to fail. In hindsight, I should have told you about the contingencies. Again, I am sorry.
“Now, I need to know if your presence on the islands is necessary for the ghosts or if they will try to stop you from leaving. Once I know that I can work on evacuation plans, temporary visas, and everything else.”
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.” Lyra. Still not letting things go. You don’t even know how to feel about Dr. Karashina’s not-apology. Don’t even know if you can feel right now. “The last time you made decisions for her because you thought you knew best, this happened. Give her a break. Let her decide where she’s going.”
“You know what’s going on in Alola, right?” the champion asks.
“No, actually. Cell service is down.”
“Fine.” Dr. Karashina sits down in a chair. It squeaks on the floor. “Second Pearl Harbor ended in a draw with both air forces and half the navy destroyed. Mixed results everywhere else. The cities are swarmed with ghosts and the cops have either been killed or stopped fighting. Navy’s pulling back. If I had to guess they’re going to research whatever’s going on while blockading and bombing the islands until they figure it out. My grandma told me what it’s like to live under American bombing. Things are going to get really bad, really quickly.”
“We’re Americans,” Gen insists. “They can’t bomb us.”
Lyra laughs / chokes. Shirona sighs.
“The President’s already tweeted out threats to unleash, and I quote, ‘fire and fury.’ You can take a guess what that means.”
Cold dread settles in your stomach. Guess you can still feel things.
“Kekoa’s in Hau’oli,” you whisper. “Do you think…?”
“I don’t know.”
You aren’t sure what you asked. What she answered. Or you do know and don’t want to think about it.
Before you can dwell on it Dr. Karashina cuts back in. “Can I talk to her in private for thirty seconds? Please. I’m not asking for much.”
She’s asking teenagers for permission to talk to someone. The world’s gone mad. She’s strong enough to just take what she wants.
“Fine.” Lyra hisses. “I will be counting.”
Gen releases you. Guess you don’t have a say in this. You would agree to talk if she asked. You don’t want to but. You want to know how mad she is and you know she won’t reveal it in front of them. Still has to pretend she wants to take you back to Sinnoh.
Noci escorts you into the hallway. It’s eerily quiet, now. Did everyone else leave? How? Where to?
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Karashina apologizes again. “I’ve never tried to raise a kid before and had no idea what I was doing. Messed everything up.” Past tense. It’s over, then. You aren’t sure how you feel about that. You should be mad still. Lied to you. Hurt you. Thing is, though, you’re used to that. You’ve forgiven… think you’ve forgiven family for far worse.
But you don’t want to be yelled at or lied to anymore and she’s already lied and will yell more and more if she’s mad at you. Mad at you because you fucked up. Not just dropping a plate or overcooking something or bleeding on the floor but getting people killed. Maybe a lot of people killed. Maybe people you care about.
You’ve lied to Coco. Never raised your voice. Almost the same as her. You shouldn’t be mad at someone for things you’ve done. But you are mad at yourself. All the time.
“It’s fine,” you tell her. And maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. You don’t know. Don’t know anything anymore. “Let’s go back inside.”
“I… okay.”
And that’s the end of that.
Dang, I really need to draw some fanart of the AU where Cuicatl & Una just hang out talking about myths, drinking tea, and worshipping the old gods, hahaha. Cynthia is, of course, invited to join.
ing at an eevee from a couple of chapters back. The dates help with that, but I'd be lying if I said those are things I remember about these chapters. I was briefly wondering if this was just a second instance of Genesis trying to find an eevee and Pixie screeching it away.
