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Time to give my thoughts on chapter 1. Very good! Love the idea of Lance being mixed. Very cool, would actually explain a lot of details. I thought the prose and flow of the story was lovely as well. The dancing bit was very good, probably as good as one can expect trying to describe something...

Pokemon: Turning Tides Preface: Welcome to Turning Tides, my very first "ash-rewrite"! This is something that's been on my mind for quite some time, and I finally decided to take charge and do it! It's secondary to my main project, Legendary Adventures. Now you may be thinking, what makes this...

I'll give some thoughts reactions to the prologue before I move on to the 1st chapter. Great prologue first of all!! Very poetic and dramatic. I don't have any real critique to give but I figured I'd just put some thoughts and musings. So Italy exists in this pokemon world? This evokes some...

Pokemon as a franchise has such a wide scope. It has a diverse, wonderful world, teeming with possibilities. So what does Pokemon mean to you? In case you feel stumped, here are a couple questions to get you started: Of course, you don't have to use these questions at all! Feel free to...

Duly noted. I'll have to see what I can do to fix some stuff. His accepting Golbat finally was supposed to represent a shift. His first battle with Roark, he foolishly leaped into too fast because he was impatient and reckless. But after this, there's supposed to be a bit of dynamic shift. He's...

This sounds fun!! I'll give it a shot. Legendary Adventures: Young Man With A Plan Embarks On A Journey To Catch A God But Discovers He Can't Control Everything And Ends Up With A Zubat Who Forces Him To Learn The Value Of Friendship

Alrighty, *cracks knuckles* time to review chapter 1, revised! For starters, great improvements! This version is definitely better, in my opinion. I can tell you took critique and tried to adapt it, which is great! Opening with the dream is good. Some may say a dream sequence is cliche but...

MMMMMM sweet sweet feedback! I really, really appreciate this. And you read to chapter 6!!! Getting some insight into how my story is perceived by others is fantastic. I get stuck in my own head, so its hard to tell what my story sounds like to anyone else. And don't apologize, I absolutely love...

Chapter 20: An Electrifying Encounter In other news, Koa successfully mastered Ice Fang thanks to Wilma. Now he goes to Celestic to see some ruins. But a few surprises await him... Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom)...

Chapter 19: Breaking the Ice Fang Koa has his sights set on teaching Rascal Ice Fang. But will he be successful? Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom) Flurry (Female Spheal) A blue furry ball shot past Koa as Flurry...

Chapter 18: Getting Your Psyduck in a Row Koa and Avis continue their journey, and Avis plans to check in on the local Psyduck population. Surely nothing will go awry here, right? Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom)...

Chapter 17: A Strategy For Success His dream stronger than ever, Koa faces a battle with Avis as he continues his journey. Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom) By the time Koa made his way back to Solaceon Town...

Chapter 16: Enter the Unown Chapter 16! Despite his loss to Cade, Koa remains determined as ever as he makes his way towards his next gym badge. Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom) "Ice Fang," Koa commanded...

Chapter 15: Don't Gabite Off More Than You Can Chew Fresh off the mysterious encounter with the two Entei, Koa continues his quest... Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom) The next morning, he awoke feeling...

Chapter 14: Cal-Amity Square Chapter 14! Will Hazard be okay? Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndour) Scrapper (Male Breloom) Egg Koa's hands shook as he gently scooped up Joltik's limp body. He was breathing, still, but every few seconds he...

Chapter 13: Getting Ghosted Coming up, Koa seeks to challenge the Hearthome gym. But is Fantina going to actually be there this time? Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndour) Scrapper (Male Breloom) "So where will you head now?" Koa asked. He...

Chapter 12: Mach Power Note: Kitto is pronounced [Kee-toe]. Kinda like the word Aikido. This chapter, Koa has a new training partner as he journeys to his gym battle in Hearthome. How will his training go? And what other encounters will he have on the road there? Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard...

Chapter 11: You've Got to be Kitto-ing Me! Here we are at chapter 11! Koa's next challenge is the Pastoria gym. With Shroomish and Hazard on his side, it probably won't be as hard as Roark, but he'll still have to stay on his toes! Hazard (Male Joltik) Echo (Male Golbat) Tyrunt (Female)...

Chapter 10: From Marsh to Shining Marsh Here's chapter 10! Next stop, Pastoria City. But first, Koa has to make it across the Marsh. Hazard (Male Joltik) Echo (Male Golbat) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndour) Trainer Tips If you get stuck in the bog, you can count on being...

Chapter 9: The Hound of the Hour So here we are at Chapter 9! Koa nearly has a full team, and he makes his way to Pastoria to challenge Wake. Echo (Male Golbat) {Ability: Inner Focus} - Confuse Ray, Poison Fang, Crunch, Wing Attack Hazard (Male Joltik){Ability: Compound eyes} - Bug Bite...