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So I finally got around to reading this, figured I better review too! So lets begin! I'm going to try a new sort of rating system for myself, breaking it down into some main aspects I think every story needs in some way. [Main character, side characters, plot, subplot, prose...

https://forums.thousandroads.net/index.php?threads/in-the-streets-of-lago.447/post-16512 Reviewed Streets of Lago for catnip. Wordcounter says 1821 words. And I think this counts towards the theme too?

Here for my catnip! I have to say, I was definitely apprehensive when I first saw this story. I tend to be rather vanilla and simplistic when it comes to my pokemon stories. That said, I am rather impressed with what I see so far. I never read the first version, so everything I say is based on...

Wow, what an intense set of chapters. I was wondering when Jade when get up some guts and try and rescue Chibi. After everything Chibi did for her, it seems only fair. Really good read, very tense, lots of fast paced action. Huge fat bonus points for a Flygon!!!!! Loved the personality of the...

Ah, there it is. Glad to see the inclusion here, much more clear that she's actively trying not to think about poor Chibi. I really dig the inclusion of mentioning how other regions have different types of battles they favor. Ah Jade. Knowing moves is half the battle i'd think. How can you...

I've got one, this is about LC. @Chibi Pika It's very simple, so obvious. And I don't think anyone has said it yet, which is shocking. granted, I've only read up to chapter 8, but I know without a doubt I am right. Are you ready?????? Stalker is secretly Lugia in human form. Both are...

Since this concludes the S.S. Anne arc I figured I just give some brief thoughts. That was a pretty wild ride! Tense and a lot of crazy action stuff. (Still not sure how much I actually enjoy pokespeech as a thing but hey, its still interesting) You definitely captured and essence of being in...

Thank you for the feedback! This gives a lot of really good advice I'll be going over. I know going over the whole piece line by line is difficult, so I definitely appreciate everything you've done so far. Going over the rest of it isn't necessary, I think I understand the raw gist of it, its...

Well, I'm reading this potentially so I figured I'd have some fun and put some thoughts reactions. I'll admit, I tried twice before to read this but didn't get too far, got distracted. Stopped in chapter 1 usually. Clearly I was a fool for not reading far enough into chapter 1. Dark hair and...

Newest newest version. Tweaked the overall fight instead, especially the beginning. Tried to add more flow and narrative tension. Would love feedback to know if it's smoother, understandable and clear. Mild spoilers for Legendary Adventures. Tagging @Pen cause you read the first version and...

Even though I liked the final line, I decided to change it in this revision because I wanted to show why Koa decides to try and end the fight with a kick, since a kick is contextually appropiate

Thank you both for the input. Ok, so this is what I edited so far. I included some different verbiage, tried to vary the sentence length, and clear up pronoun confusion. It is supposed to be a bit climactic since it comes at the tail end of a bigger fight, so I want it to be somewhat...

Thank you for the feedback! I'll be reviewing my piece later today to see what I can do to get more into Koa's headspace as opposed to telling too much. This was some good advice.

Alright so it'll probably be easier to get feedback if I post here I would like some feedback on the prose of this fistfight I wrote. I only would like to know if the prose itself flows well, and if the fight is clear and easy to follow. Which parts are clunky and which are smooth, where it...

Chapter 21: KOa'd Koa faces the Veilstone gym! Will he be able to win as easily as he believes? Echo (Male Golbat) Hazard (Male Joltik) Rascal (Female Tyrunt) Anubis (Male Houndoom) Scrapper (Male Breloom) Flurry (Female Spheal) "Echo, finish this with Air Slash!" Echo's wings glowed...

http://cerey.github.io/fighters-block/ Fighter's Block is an awesome writing app that uses RPG mechanics to trick your brain into stay focused and in the zone while writing. I love it so much and has done wonders for me. If for some reason anyone has trouble with the link, click on the twitter...

Small-scale Feedback Thread Hello! Welcome to the feedback thread! The idea here is to create a single thread for writers to post small sections of their work and (hopefully) get some fairly quick feedback. This is intended to be for small works, and is not a review tag or a place for chapter...

Well first off, I really want to thank you for your input! You mentioned a lot of really helpful points that I will be clarifying when I edit. I really appreciate the insight. I never intended for that Squirtle to have met Gary before, heh. Its more like you said in a later line, Squirtle had...

First. Good title. Love titled chapters. And I like this one quite a bit! Alrighty! Chapter 2! Now to begin, I say, good job! The overall story here is good, characters solid for the story setting. You've set up an interesting second chapter. We have a pokemon seemingly running to be mayor of a...

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Who's crying? Me? No it's raining inside my room and I'm cutting onions. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH So I've just read both versions. Both are really good, but there's a solid improvement in the ending of the second one. Your intent comes off much clearer. I just...