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Ah, Odette is having a nice relaxing stay at home with her little Pokemon when what comes on the news but DRUGS yes the D.A.R.E Pyroar is gonna bust through your wall and make you not do DRUGS, and he's gonna be backed by -gasp- Odette's grandpa!
(it's so so funny the drug is literally called SACRELIGE)
Anyway cut to the most relatable classroom experience I've had in a while. Except cooler because it's about competitive Pokemon battling, can we get that in more schools? Anyway Odette gets ready to prep for battle class when who does she meet but DREAMY DORIEN! And it's all WUV and happirness and roses until Dorien's like "oh, I'm a Shiny hunter, I've been Madsuda Methoding unborn Eevees for weeks" and Odette's like "oh. now i remember why i don't want to smooch this man anymore".
Shiny trade being considered inhumane is intresting btw. You'd think it'd be a Take i'd seen more often but I haven't.
Anyway! Even though Dorien is oblivious to Odette's reservations, they FIGHT! In a VERY INTENSE BATTLE. Where Dorien is very clearly giving his Pokemon the DRUGS! And Odette's gonna PROVE IT with her GRANDPA. So the question is, who is Dorien gonna get got by first? Them?
...Or the D.A.R.E Pyroar?
Thank you for the fun read and hopefully putting up with my sleep-deprived review!
Hi there! Bit of a story behind this review lmao. I first read the Prologue + chapters 1/2 in February, but kept getting delayed when it came to actually writing up my thoughts. Then I finally picked it up again this month and figured, heck with it, if you had to wait this long, I might as well read more while I'm at it. And it's not like I wasn't already looking for excuses to read more. So I'm finally here after having read as far as Chapter 6--let's do this!
Overall thoughts! You do a really good job at quickly establishing your characters making them all feel distinct from one another. Of course, I'm already familiar with a lot of them from Storycrafter and RPs and the like, but the text itself still did a lot to get their personalities across quickly. Odette and Noel are of course the stars of the show, and I can already tell I'm gonna love their dynamic. Also, I really enjoy how much attention is paid to the Pokemon characters and keeping them involved in things.
So... I already knew what we were in for when Dorien showed up, but I still had to laugh when it looked like he and Odette had decent chemistry for about five seconds before all pretenses were completely shattered. Also, I gotta say... I genuinely didn't expect Odette to win their battle. Hot damn it had me on the edge of my seat. Oh, and I also have to say that I cringed throughout the entirety of that "date." Terrible. Zero stars.
Also, Vienna is a complete disaster of a human who also had me cringing nonstop, but I did like how she got to have some heartening moments with Odette. :P Really captures the whole "unusually young mother" vibe in their dynamic, which is to say, she's one of the least mature characters in the story. xD
That's all for now, but I'll probably continue reading more when I get the chance!
CW: Strong language, talk of suicide, mention of forced breeding
This chapter literally took months, and I don't even know if it's good LOL. It's a big ol' info dump so please feel free to tear me a new one, cuz idek anymore. Thanks!
Florent Lambourne.
Odette quirked a brow. She exchanged looks with Noel, who shrugged as soon as their eyes met.
“No,” she replied. “Is that name supposed to mean something regarding the shinies? He the person who started all of this?”
Valentin scoffed. “He’s the reason Virtue Corp exists in the first place. The rightful leader of Team Enigma.”
Blinking, Odette settled back into her spot on the couch. She heard Noel exhale sharply and felt him lean against her shoulder. “So there’s a name,” he said. “Crazy shit we’re finding out today.”
“Let me reiterate that I’m just getting started,” Valentin warned.
“But how is that supposed to answer my question? Did he create those Pokemon?” Odette pressed. Artificial Pokemon weren’t necessarily an out-there concept, especially if the fucker was running a ring like he was. Surely he was rolling in money, and money could buy anything, including artificial monster 'mon.
Shaking his head, Valentin huffed. “No. Those ‘mon you saw at the gala have been around for a long time, believe it or not.”
“Okay, but why haven’t we ever heard of them? Are they a new type?”
“Same reason the shiny trade still exists; the wealthy decided on it,” Valentin answered.
“Is that why we had such a hard time finding shit on them?” Noel queried incredulously. Valentin sent him an approving point.
“Bingo was his name-o.”
“But how would something like that even work? How do you wipe the existence of these ‘mon from everything?” Noel said.
“You’d be surprised at what gets done when really powerful people pool their money together,” Valentin chided. “Gradual but eventual elimination of all information.”
"Even from the internet?"
"Even from the internet. Team Enigma is much bigger and much more powerful than you think it is."
Crossing his arms, Noel grunted. “Guess my threshold for being surprised just expanded.”
Valentin stood up from his desk and paced over to them. “And, to answer your second question, Miss Cinq-Mars…we’ve learned that they’re referred to as ‘blood types.’ For the way their powers are summoned, as you’ve seen.”
“With blood, yeah,” Odette said. That was one thing that lined up with the overheard conversation. Check. “How does that even work? Is it reactionary? Are they like…ingesting it? Is there something in blood that makes them…go nuts like that?”
“I’d say it’s reactionary. You’re familiar with dynamaxing and mega evolutions, right?”
Odette nodded and saw Noel do the same in her peripheral vision.
“Blood types are kind of in the same vein.” He smirked at his own joke. “They function alright on their own, but the real power they gain is from blood. It acts like a mega stone to mega evolutions or a dynamxing band to dynamaxing. You understand?”
“Sounds a little twisted,” Noel said.
“A very macabre power-up, yes,” Valentin said. “But blood types, unfortunately—or not, depending on how you want to look at it—are ridiculously powerful when given blood. You saw firsthand how nasty those two were at the gala. I can tell you that was only at minimal power. They certainly get far worse.”
Something about the statement caused one of Odette's earlier hypotheses' to click within her mind. Her eyes lit up as she nodded with a sense of finite revelation.
“That’s why the wealthy hoard and hide them from the general public. They want these crazy powerful Pokemon for themselves.”
"Wow. That's as topical as topical gets," Noel scoffed.
Valentin's loose frown gave way to a subtle smirk. “And I’m blessed that the two of you aren’t braindead.” He turned on his heels and moved toward his filing cabinets.
Odette swallowed hard to keep herself from blushing. Noel nudging her caused that to fall out the window, and she resisted the urge to smack him.
“But,” Noel spoke up, “what do these blood types have to do with the shiny trade? Or this Florent guy? Or even sacrilege? I assume it’s all somehow connected, or we wouldn’t be talking now.”
Valentin was now rummaging through one of the topmost drawers. “Of course it is,” he said. “There’s a path here, don’t worry.”
He withdrew several manilla folders of varying thickness from the drawer and pushed it shut with his shoulder as he briefly thumbed through them. He grabbed hold of one, pulled it to the top of the pile, and flipped it open. He didn’t move his eyes off whatever he was looking at even as he trudged back to the sitting area.
“Years and years ago…probably around the ‘80s,” he spoke, “my father, Jean-Louis Ménétries and Florent Lambourne were colleagues. Professors. They both came from money, both went to good schools. Of course, they crossed paths, realized they were like-minded, and became friendly. Florent, however, had a couple of familyheirlooms he decided to inform my father of.”
He sat on the arm of the couch directly across from the one Odette, Noel, Isaur, and Elton occupied, then closed the folder and tossed it down in front of them.
“That is a written ‘dex of every non-legendary blood type we’ve managed to uncover. Take a look at that, but hold out for what I have next.”
“Non-legendary?” Noel inquired in disbelief. “The ones we saw weren’t legends?”
“No, I’d say hiruition and lophious are rather mid-tier. Desmocula, probably the same.”
Odette scrambled for it and pulled it into her lap. Noel reached over and pulled it open himself, evidently just as eager as her to see what was inside. It was a pretty thick file, and she could see why.
Alphabetized names, blurbs, and even photographs of these Pokemon. As Odette flipped through them, she did manage to locate the summaries for hiruition, lophious, and desmocula, among hundreds of others.
“Are there even legendaries with this type?” Odette said, eyes unmoving off the pages she was flipping through.
“There are indeed seven blood-type legendaries. You think the regular ones are powerful, but these? On a whole different level. And these are the beings that Team Enigma has been built around, as well as where all other blood types descend from.”
"Built around," Odette repeated.
"Yes. Like, worship. Spawn these hellish 'mon in their honor, use sacrilege in their honor, the whole nine yards," Valentin elaborated.
She fell silent for a moment and pushed her bangs out of her face in exasperation. “It’s not even sounding like a criminal ring anymore, we’re teetering into straight-up cult territory.”
“Very much a cult,” Valentin confirmed.
He dug out a thinner folder, pulled it open, then took one piece of paper from the corner and slid it down onto the table. On it was a drawing of what Odette supposed was meant to be a Pokemon, but it didn’t look like one she’d ever seen. Maybe it vaguely resembled a dusknoir in shape but was certainly not one. If anything, it looked like a lantern, plated in gold, with a head that looked reminiscent of a candelabra.
“There’s Avareed, the Pokemon of Greed,” Valentin said as Odette picked up the image to get a better look at it. She felt Noel and Isaur lean against her shoulders as they also took a look while Elton perched up behind her. She was barely done taking in all the details before Valentin slid over another image.
“Then Lexuria, the Pokemon of Lust,” he said. The new drawing depicted a headless humanoid form draped in purple tendrils. It appeared to have wings, but the wings looked like…hands?
“If I had to personify Lust, this would not be my first image,” Noel snorted as he picked the picture up. “Still, she looks like a wild good time.”
“I'm not so sure I agree,” Elton said.
“Then, we have Hubrias, the Pokemon of Pride,” Valentin went on. The picture he handed them depicted another humanoid, but this one had four arms. Each wrist was shackled to what looked to be a bloody mirror, which protruded from its back.
The next image showed a mammoth-like creature. It had tusks while…also having antlers. Both of which were coated in ice. The most striking features, however, were its skeleton-like legs and skull face. Its entire body looked frostbitten.
“Tristace is the Pokemon of Sloth.”
He removed another picture from the folder, showing another humanoid, but this one appeared to have horns. Its body looked like a green, sun-eroded statue, but its head and limbs seemed coated in melting wax. It held a staff of candles. “Inviderus, the Pokemon of Envy,” he declared.
Another image. “Gulattive, the Pokemon of Gluttony.” A hooded figure that seemed to have no legs. Where there should have been a head was a single, wide, bloodshot eye. A mouth of serrated teeth was open on its abdomen area.
“Gross,” Odette muttered.
“That's gluttony? I'm disappointed,” Isaur said scornfully.
“Yeah, you would be disappointed; you’re pretty gluttonous yourself,” Odette smirked.
“And lastly, we have Venira. Pokemon of Wrath.”
Odette took the picture as she was handed it and held it close to her nose. She was met with the sight of a dragon made of brambles. Its teeth were bared maliciously, and the spikes along its back were on fire.
She stared at the drawing far longer than she had at any of the other ones. Her eyebrows scrunched in concentration as what felt like…familiarity overcame her. She wasn’t sure why she empathized with it so much. Perhaps it was because she succumbed to the feeling of anger at least once a day.
“Wrath, huh?” she said under her breath.
As she handed Valentin back the picture, she was taken aback to find him staring at her. Hard. The look only lasted for a second once they made eye contact, but he had for sure been staring at her.
Her head recoiled despite herself. “You good?”
Valentin shrugged as he took the picture back. That stern stare was as good as gone. “I wouldn’t say that, but I’m alive, and that’s what matters.”
He’s drunk, she told herself. Maybe his sober facade was falling off. She couldn’t find another way to explain the behavior.
He shuffled the photos back into the one folder and set it down on the coffee table before he continued on. “Anyway. You’d have never heard of these seven specifically because the Lambourne family has had them captive for the past…thousand or so years, I’d say. Passing them down from heir to heir to heir.”
“And now, they’re with Florent,” Noel said.
“We don’t even have real photos of them because we never had access. These images are just renditions of sketches my father took of them.”
“Florent really let him get that close to them?”
“He did. He confided in my father about them, which started his obsession with these blood types. He’d never heard of them before meeting Florent, and anybody would have a cow at even the implication of a new typing like this one.” Valentin sounded like he was quickly getting disgruntled and soon caught himself on a breath. He shook his head once and looked back up at them.
“Things went well for a while, but as you could probably guess, that didn’t last.”
“They had a falling out when your dad realized Florent wanted to start a fucking cult,” Odette said.
“Eh, close,” Valentin said as he wiggled his hand. “More like my father tried to stop Florent from starting a fucking cult, and Florent didn’t want to hear it. Even went as far as trying to take the legendaries from him.”
“And how did that end up?” Odette snickered.
“Thirty years later, we’re having a Team Enigma crisis, so you tell me.”
“Right,” she sighed.
“So these legends…” Noel spoke. “Do they all cater to him because he gives them his blood? Or something?”
“Not exactly. Florent only has one actually tethered to and using him as a vessel. All of them are stuck to someone else, so to speak.”
“Who does he have?” Odette probed.
“Gulattive. Gluttony. Last we know.”
“Of course, he has the weirdest-looking one out of all of them,” she said.
“What do you mean 'weirdest looking one out of all of them,' did you even see Hubrias?” Noel said.
She opened her mouth to argue, but there was no time for it. “Do you know who has the rest of them? Has he bestowed them upon others himself?”
Valentin nodded and tossed down another folder. A printed label with the name Armel Lambourne was taped to the folder’s tab.
“He has a son named Armel who holds Greed. No clear photo, unfortunately. The guy might as well not exist. We only know what we know from other operatives and what I’ve managed to finagle out of Dorien.”
Odette grabbed the folder and pulled it open, only to be met with an official-looking document, notarized by a raised Virtue Corp logo, listing off information.
The sparse page was also met with blurry and haphazardly caught photos of a man wearing sunglasses. Very clearly tall, and very clearly had black hair. Not much more to be discerned.
“He’s giving cryptid,” Noel said as Odette handed the folder to him.
“And, speaking of that fucking nit Dorien,” Valentin said. He slapped down another, much thicker folder with the name Dorien Bonhomme taped to the tab. Odette was hesitant to pick it up, but curiosity always killed the delcatty.
Odette felt her hackles go up. "Dorien has one?" she gasped, bringing the page up to her nose. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
She was met with a detailed report after detailed report of several of Dorien’s day-to-day doings, ranging from his participation in shiny trade matters to dealing sacrilege to talking with gods knew who. Accounts of him being tailed, attempting to find where he goes to converse with other Team Enigma operatives, and ending off inconclusive. How the hell did that happen?
"How do you spend so much time tailing a person and not know where he goes?" she asked.
Valentin shot her a look, one that teetered on the line between unamused and exhausted. "Well, it's all there. But, to put it in layman's terms, he disappears. Not figuratively; literally. Gone with the wind. Which leads us to believe Enigma operatives have means to access their point of operations from wherever they may be, even if it's kilometers away."
"Like...teleportation," Noel declared.
"That's the hypothesis we have, yes. Or, much less probable, there's just Team Enigma bases everywhere that we don't see. We've lost him in a multitude of locations, though, and swept the areas after. Unless they're pulling a fast one on us, we're assuming some sort of remote access point."
"Keeps you lot from finding their base. Thorough," Odette murmured.
"Frustrating is more like it. And this isn't just knowledge coming out of tailing Dorien," he explained, "this is from multiple instances of following suspects. Trying to find where the drugs are coming from, where they go to meet up if need be. All leads to the same wall. So we've focused a lot more energy on undercover shticks at the moment, because that's proving at least somewhat more effective."
Odette found one report from the night before that detailed Dorien's distribution of several strains of sacrilege to high-profile buyers, including Valentin, and…strippers? She wasn’t going to ask.
“Oh. So you buy off of him yourself as a way to get in.”
“Right. Really sell the act that I’m truly just there to be part of their idiocy. But I’ll get to that,” he answered. "Also, for testing reasons. Side-effect combatant research and the like."
A question occurred to her, and she momentarily hesitated before asking. “…have you taken it?”
He didn’t seem ready to answer, as indicated by the deep breath he inhaled. “…unfortunately. Can't convince the Romans you're Roman unless you do as the Romans do, you know?” he said. “But that’s not important now. Stick a pin in that.”
“Alright,” she said after a moment, deciding to let it go. He had a point; that was not the big bad issue. A relatively significant detail, but not the most pressing one. He was undercover, and that was that for now. At least by 'sticking a pin in it,' he was agreeing to discuss it later. She'd remember that. "Guess I'm more caught up on this Dorien bombshell anyway."
“I did mention he was deep in Enigma, didn’t I?”
“So I’ve just been fucking around with someone who’s been possessed by one of these things this entire time?” she asked, a small drop of panic resonating in her tone. “How long has he had it? Was he going through secondary school with this thing just casually in his pocket?”
As Noel and Isaur patted her back, Valentin held up a reassuring hand. “You’d have never known unless he explicitly told you or showed you. If they’re away in their balls, you’d never know any of them were nearby. For the most part. As for how long, he had it for a few years before we met, and I met him just after he graduated secondary school.”
Odette briefly sunk into a thought, venturing back to the day she and Dorien battled. The strange vibes she’d gotten from him and how fearful he made her feel. She tried to think further back to their time in school together and if she’d ever had moments where she genuinely felt scared around him. She was perplexed to find herself drawing blanks.
She really had put much of that time out of her head. It was starting to freak her out.
“Could being possessed by one of these things make someone seem…scarier? Like, make-your-hair-stand-up-on-end scary?”
Valentin raised a brow but seemed to consider the question as he rubbed his lower lip. “I’d say maybe? We have reports of them being able to twist emotions. I’d imagine meeting one of these things would be an ominous moment, so if he was trying to make it clear he had one on hand, I don’t see why not…” he mused.
She rubbed the side of her head tiredly. "That's lovely," she groaned.
“But, in Dorien’s case, he’s also just like that. He’s an obnoxious yet eerie little asshole. If he’s committed homicide by his own free will, I wouldn’t be shocked in the slightest,” Valentin continued.
“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse,” Odette said. However, her smile did indicate some appreciation. And the way he smiled back at her almost made her melt.
Noel cleared his throat, thus snapping her out of her crush-fueled trance. “I’d say it's a given Dorien’s kind of a creep, and being possessed by a personification of a deadly sin would definitely exacerbate that,” he chuckled. "Though, I feel like all you need to do now is douse him with holy water. Or, maybe, shove him in a closet of Arcean relics. That should solve at least part of that problem."
Valentin suppressed a full-blown laugh. "Solid ideas, but it doesn't work like that."
"What, blood types aren't affected?"
To that, Valentin wiggled his hand. "They are. They can be, rather, in short bursts. We've observed blood types being averse to Arcean-blessed items and water, and those who have harbored them have even grown ill when in the presence of them as well. Dorien won't go near an Arcean church; he gets visibly aggravated at the idea. But, while debilitating at the moment, this type is quite sturdy. Not enough of a deterrent to make a huge difference."
Odette caught herself on that explanation. While the fact that Dorien didn't like going to Arcean churches didn't shock her one bit--as he was the last person she'd ever expect to have that kind of devotion--it only struck her because she also became aggravated at the idea of visiting Arcean churches. She could never get through a Unitas service without breaking into a fit of nausea. Of course, that had to be a terrible coincidence or something in the building her family had gone to for services. She'd never thought too hard about it until now.
"Why didn't he like it? Did he ever tell you?" she asked.
It looked like Valentin had to think about it for a moment. "Something about him always getting a stomach ache," he said.
The answer struck her like an ampharos' bolt.
“Probably the inner demons making his stomach turn in the presence of holiness," Noel jeered.
"Not the most scientific way I'd describe it, but that's correct," Valentin said.
Dorien won't go near an Arcean church; he gets visibly aggravated at the idea. Something about him always getting a stomach ache.
No way. No way, no way, no way. There is no fucking way. How the hell is that even possible? Is there some sort of sickness surrounding that type of thing? That doesn't even--
"Are you alright, Miss Cinq-Mars?"
Valentin's voice made her flinch. It was such a violent jolt that it even made Noel, Isaur, and Elton jump back. "Uh..." she managed. Her mouth formed around an apology, but she couldn't get it out.
"Hey, you good?" Noel cooed. He clamped his hand around her shoulder and started to rub it as if he were trying to generate some heat on her skin.
"You look like you saw a ghost," Isaur said. Her eyes briefly cut back to Elton and Noel as they looked at her with matching deadpan expressions. "Shut up," she groused.
Odette scratched at her cheek and adjusted her sitting position. "No, no, I'm fine," she said. She had to put her brave face back on. It was too early for the conversation to collapse on itself; there was still too much to go over. "Just started thinking."
"You sure?" Noel said. Giving her another opportunity to admit her psyche had just suffered another crack. She didn't take it. She couldn't right now.
"For sure. Let's keep it going." Her words came out a little more forceful than she intended them to, but nobody argued with her. Noel exhaled deeply and turned his attention back to Valentin.
"Okay, so, lets summarize for a second," he said. "We have this Florent dude, these blood types, these blood type legendaries, some select important individuals have them, the rich are hoarding the type, not too bothered by holy relics…where do the shinies themselves come into play?”
“Have you ever been taught why shiny Pokemon are shiny Pokemon?” Valentin asked in response.
Odette didn't hear her own name. She'd sunk back into herself and was too busy trying to sort through her understanding of what Valentin just told her.
I got stomach aches in church, Dorien gets stomach aches in church. He's possessed by the Envy 'mon. Do Arcean plates give him headaches? They give me headaches; could I test that theory? What are the fucking odds we went to the same church, and it's all just lining up strangely? How the fuck--
"And what did she tell you?" Valentin said,
“It’s a mutation,” Odette interjected, trying to remain as present as she could.
I know the first thing about mutations, she thought. Focus on that. It's just a bad coincidence. Has to be.
Focus.
“Something in their genes gets screwed and causes abnormal coloration. But it doesn’t make a difference in their abilities," she explained.
Valentin nodded along with her words. “Mostly right. That’s the cover-up reason.”
“Of fucking course it is,” Noel scoffed while Odette slumped against the backrest. “And why ‘mostly’?”
“The real reason is the blood types,” Valentin said. “They're very rare, and they’re only known to spawn in, you guessed it, blood. Entirely random, there’s no pattern, and sometimes it simply happens. But when it does, it causes a change in a Pokemon’s coat color, creating what you know as a shiny. Hence, Kalos’s lovely shiny trade still exists despite nobody really wanting it to.”
Odette exhaled slowly, taking a moment to re-aim her brain onto that. It was a simple explanation, yet there was so much to unpack.
“As for why your explanation is mostly right, no it doesn’t affect their abilities, but it can affect their health. A shiny unable to manage the blood type within them might experience some health issues related to their blood. Fatigue, drops or spikes in blood pressure, blood loss, bad immune system,” he listed.
That alarmed her. Not just because that sounded eerily close to the issues she suffered with but because something else had occurred to her.
Isaur chirped frantically before she had a chance to finish categorizing her thoughts. “Wait, Enora!”
“Oh my gods, yes, Enora,” Noel inhaled gravely.
“Enora is possessed by a blood type,” Odette speculated. “And has been this whole time?”
Valentin sighed. “Correct. Though--and I'm not sure how much this helps ease your mind--she might be unaware that that's the case. Shinies left unbothered often live their whole lives without any idea of what's within them."
Her frown deepened. “Enora might not even know it’s there?”
“Sometimes, depending on the species, blood types prefer to remain docile. They occasionally won’t even present themselves unless their host is in severe danger. If that never happens, a host could live a full life completely unaware they’re possessed but be susceptible to those aforementioned health issues. They’d just be completely unaware of why it was happening,” Valentin explained, shrugging.
Odette was staring down at her lap now, running over his words again. “I found Enora in a dumpster, and she was fucked up. I don’t know where she came from, but I imagine she was at least in some pretty bad shit…would that warrant it speaking up?”
“That would be between her and the Pokemon living in her. If she’s never mentioned it to you, then chances are even when she was in peril, it didn’t present itself.”
She supposed that might have been a good thing. She couldn’t imagine Enora not telling her something like that…though, in some world, she could understand the struggle of trying to word it. How would any Pokemon tell their trainer that they have some undisclosed ‘mon living in their bloodstream?
But if she did know, was that why she didn't want anything to do with getting involved?
"I don't know about that," she said under her breath.
“Has Enora ever had any issues with her health?” Valentin inquired.
“No,” Odette said dejectedly. “Nothing that I ever thought was concerning, at least.”
Valentin’s expression didn’t help ease her head whatsoever. In fact, it only felt like the whirlwind of revelations had picked up.
Enora had never exhibited any symptoms of being in anything less than tip-top shape. Odette would have noticed otherwise. Unless she was somehow really good at hiding any symptoms despite being an awful liar. But why would she if she didn’t know what was actually going on?
Maybe she was scared. Maybe she didn’t know how Odette would react. But, they’d been through so much together, and surely Enora knew she could say anything if she needed to…
The tea party, though. The voice she heard. Valentin and Bernard being concerned about where Enora was when she was attacked by desmocula…
Could it have been Enora’s friend somehow? If Enora did know it was in there and had come to terms with it?
Valentin must have noticed the look she was now making because he leaned toward her. “I did want to ask you about it. Due to the events of our recent tea party, I was concerned it might have had something to do with her.”
“All that happened there was hypotension spell. I used to get them a lot, it was just bad timing. Maybe that thing sensed I didn’t have anything for it,” Odette said half-jokingly. Mostly to hide the fact she was lying by omission and skirting around the inevitable observation that was starting to brew up a panic attack in the pit of her soul.
Keep it together. Stay focused. Keep your game face on. You're letting your mind wander because you're stupid.
But was this a case of her overthinking or actually being on the right track?
Her throat was starting to feel tight.
“I am sorry to hear that,” Valentin said. Though, he looked ever so slightly wary of saying it. Like he was suspicious of her. As he probably should be. She was suspicious of herself right now, too.
“I don’t mean to pry, but did you have other issues with your health in the past?”
Did he know she wasn't telling the whole truth?
Since she was thinking about it, she realized he must have known about her health issues while he was heckling her about hosting bids on Enora. The conversation she overheard sounded like Bernard had mentioned it to him even before then. Perhaps that was helping fuel his suspicion. Fueling his attempt at prodding now.
“Yeah,” she said flatly. “Hypotension, anemia, compromised immune system, all of it. But I’ve been extensively tested and told more than once. It's a hormone problem. I was a preemie. That crap didn’t develop well enough in the womb, and ta-da."
Also, you have also gotten stomach aches in church. Like Dorien.
She hated how defensive she felt. What was there to defend? It had to be a coincidence. Many medical issues caused those problems, as so graciously showcased by all the tests she was subjected to as a kid. And people got stomach aches all the time in weird places.
But he’d listed the same symptoms. And her eye color was indeed considered a mutation, and Dorien…
No way. No way. That can't be; no fucking way. I'm going zubatshit fucking bonkers right now.
Or was she?
“So, yeah, you were grilling me about Enora because you assumed I was trying to get a blood type out of her,” she said, hoping to keep the conversation moving forward. “But rest assured, this is the first I’m hearing about any of this. Didn’t know jack all about blood types until I read your files.”
Valentin suddenly looked sheepish. That was better than suspicious. “I’ll admit that I was out of line, Miss Cinq-Mars. And I apologized to you. But there were layers to it. You having a shiny in your…” he pressed his lips into a thin line, hesitating. Odette rolled her eyes.
“Just say I’m poor and get it over with.”
He burst into a fit of giggles. It was adorable and caught her completely off guard. She’d take another round of a lovestruck haze over the tornado of crippling anxiety her brain was trying to launch itself into.
“No, no. I was going to say ‘socioeconomic class.’ Which…doesn’t sound much better. But the point stands. You don’t exactly come from the demographic that normally has shiny Pokemon on their teams and paired Dorien’s thing for you, and how convincing you were in your act, I was very wary.”
“His thing for me,” she repeated in disgust, exchanging a pained look with Isaur.
Valentin tilted his head. “I mean, you know he’s absolutely enthralled with you, right? That might be an understatement.”
She couldn’t tell if she was picking up an edge to his tone. It was barely there, but it might have just been her imagination. No, was it? She decided to ignore it. She couldn't be getting excited about that at a time like this.
“Let’s put a pin in that, too. I’m still trying to get straight on this shiny thing.” She slapped Dorien’s file closed for good measure and threw it back on the coffee table. She also moved the blood type file off her lap as well.
“Of course.”
“So people find shinies in the wild. Non-shiny hunters, I mean. Like me,” she said quickly. “What happens to them? Am I in deep shit because I have Enora on my team? As a non-cult member?”
A dark look crossed his eyes, and Odette suddenly wanted to gulp.
“You found her in a dumpster?”
“Next to my nana and grandpa’s townhouse in Lumiose, yes,” she confirmed.
Valentin suddenly became pensive. “Have either of you ever been out hunting in the wild?”
“Yep. Elton and I met in the wild,” Noel said. Elton flapped his wings in agreement.
“The only member of my team I found in the actual wild was Isaur. On Mt. Coronet. But I’ve gone on expeditions here in Kalos with my maman’s research team, and they caught wounded Pokemon while out there.” Odette paused to think. “I guess I found Ange out and about too, but he was fucking around an abandoned shopping mall. Not sure that counts.”
“In the wild areas, specifically, do you remember going through any checkpoints when you returned to town? To authorize the ‘mon that were caught?”
She blinked. “Are those controlled by Team Enigma?”
“The ones in Kalos are heavily manned by them,” he said. “Other regions vary.”
Odette was surprised at how much that didn’t shock her.
“What, Enigma’s not big enough to span outside Kalos?” Noel said.
“Oh, they most definitely are. Their levels of activity depend. You know the shiny hunting laws in other regions, right?” Valentin replied.
“Something, something, Kalosians visiting out-of-region can’t leave wild areas with shiny ‘mon,” Odette said. “To keep them from coming back here and selling them into the trade.”
Kalos was the only region in the world with an active public shiny trade. All other regions had theirs abolished years ago and had been pressuring Kalos to do the same. Even the Kalosian citizens were for it, but the termination never came to fruition. So, other regions took it upon themselves to enact anti-Kalosian shiny trade laws instead.
“That’s pretty spot on. Those laws might keep Kalosians from bringing new 'mon back from overseas to sell into the Kalosian trade, but they don't stop trades from happening within those specific regions. Operatives exist and plant themselves at checkpoints in other regions, and shiny trading rings still occur."
“It’s just gone underground because it's illegal,” Noel said.
“Precisely.”
“But then how does it work? How do they manage non-shiny hunters leaving a wild area with a shiny Pokemon? Why did I manage to slip under the radar until now?” Odette said.
“Some poor sap comes back with a shiny. They mark the sap and the shiny. Convince them to join their cause, or at the very least, give up the shiny. You might have gotten away with it in general because you never went through a physical checkpoint with Enora, but–-”
“--I still had to report her as a member of my team once she actually decided to stay with me. Do they have access to those records?”
“Correct. And yes.”
Her panic was rising faster and faster with every passing second. She was at the point where masking her discomfort wasn't second nature, but an excruciating chore.
“So, I don’t have a straight answer for you there. I’d imagine it’s hard for even a group like this to keep track of everything, especially secretly, so maybe you just got lucky.”
“I was also ten at the time,” she offered, trying to rationalize her situation further and prevent her dread meter from maxing out. That earned her an unsure glance from him.
“Do you really think a cult centered around worshipping sin legendaries is above messing with children?”
She had to refrain from grunting outright. “No, I don’t.”
It had to be the latter, then. She had to have just managed to go twelve years without being tracked by a group of sin-obsessed psychos. It wouldn’t be very in line with her luck, but it was the only thing that would make sense given what she had just been told.
She felt some anger coming on. More out of frustration and brewing mental turmoil than anything. “Let's keep the conversation going. More pins. We’ll get back to that,” she snapped. Her volume made Valentin recoil, and some regret slithered up to meet her frustration.
"Of course," he said, almost too quietly for her comfort. "As many pins as you need right now."
“Okay. What would happen if someone, not Enigma aligned, found a shiny and the blood type revealed itself?” Noel questioned, obliging her subject change.
“They’d still report to the checkpoints, and it would be the same process,” Valentin replied. “We have undercover operatives that have intercepted a lot of them once they picked up on what was happening. Some went as far as posting conspiracy theories online, ranting and raving about it. Usually gets written off as 'tin foil hat' theories and whatnot, though. We've gotten to them before Enigma could and hid them. Most of the time it goes off without a hitch,” Valentin said.
“But?” Noel said.
“Nobody’s perfect, so we’ve missed some as well. Some have gone missing, probably absorbed into the cult, or worse. And others…don’t recall anything.”
Odette pursed her lips. “What, do they like to drug all memories of it out of them? Use ‘mon?”
“Let me backtrack a bit to explain. You’ll need to know this before I can go that far.”
“Have at it,” Noel said.
“Because blood types are so rare, the greedy rich will naturally want more, and the shiny trade can only do so much. That’s where sacrilege comes into play,” Valentin explained.
“Yeah, but how?” Odette said.
“Think about it. All of the strains have effects in line with a certain sin. The blood legendaries are the birthplace of all blood types…”
“Sacrilege comes from the sin legendaries and creates more blood types?” Noel finished.
"You're right on the money."
He inched forward in his seat. “That’s why it’s going around the shiny trade. That’s why it’s going around the one percent. They’re trying to spawn more blood types in their Pokemon and themselves.”
"Gold star for you."
Noel shimmied to himself in a brief celebration.
“Can they even spawn in a non-shiny? Or...human?” Odette asked. She'd have found humor in Noel's little dance if she wasn't using most of her energy toward not slipping into a mental breakdown.
“They can form in anything that has blood in it. The shiny distinction is just because shiny Pokemon were born with one. But, a regular ‘mon could spawn one," Valentin explained. "A shiny could have its original blood 'mon removed and be forced to help create another. A human could make one, too, but we've found it's a little more difficult. They basically have to use sacrilege to a point of sheer, brain-has-melted-and-you-might-as-well-be-dead overdose even to get close to forming one within them.”
Odette clenched her jaw. "Has a human been known to be born with one?"
"So far, we've found that only the legendaries have spawned in humans. We're still trying to determine if non-legends have naturally shown up in them, but the findings point to 'no.'"
"Was Florent born with his?" Noel queried.
"Indeed. Armel most likely was, too, being that he is a biological descendant of Florent. Florent made it clear to my father that they pass naturally between Lambourne blood--provided that they are available to do so, as in, not already with another vessel--though he never really explained how that happened."
"So...how did Dorien get one? Is he a Lambourne?"
Valentin paused to chew on his words. "Florent told my father that, as overseer of them, he also has the power to bestow them upon whoever he picked. If he never ended up having children, which is evidently a different story. Dorien is, from our understanding, not related to Florent whatsoever."
So many questions. Odette didn't even know which one to throw out, but she decided she wanted to keep the topic on sacrilege and its effects.
"Okay, noted," she said slowly. "That aside, a lot of people overdosing and dying are just trying to spawn a powerful blood type?"
"Sometimes. It seems the general consensus is to leave that up to the Pokemon since it's 'easier on them,' but there are enough crazies out there that still try it at their own expense. Really committed to the cause," Valentin said. "But it happens unintentionally, too. Sacrilege gives stronger effects with each subsequent usage, so it's not unheard of for it to happen by accident as they try to chase the ultimate high."
“You think the malamar and scizor were forced to try to respawn some?” Odette said.
A shrug. “They were exhausted, so I’d bet on it.”
“Good gods,” Noel breathed. “It’s like forced breeding.”
“Exactly,” Valentin said.
“But wait. Normal people are getting sacrilege to use just for battling reasons. Or as a party drug. On themselves and their regular non-shinies. What happens if they unwittingly bring about a blood type? I'm sure they’re not aware that that’s a side effect,” Odette said.
“Enigma distributes, Enigma decides who gets it, and they go from there. Chances are if you're using it, you're at least somewhat aware. They're very...particular about when and where it's passed out. And to whom. It was a long while before I was able to purchase for myself. At most deals, if they don't trust you, they won't let you leave with it. You had to do it, a certain amount, with others around, and you could take nothing with you. They'd search you. They're thorough," he said. “Of course, that’s never stopped anyone. People slip, it gets out.”
He rubbed his face tiredly. Something told Odette he was regretting his decision to down so much whiskey before having this conversation. “But, most of the time, if you're seeing it in any given place, there's an Enigma operative nearby, or you’re looking at someone who was considered trustworthy enough to walk off without supervision. And just because it's mainly going around the wealthy class doesn't mean they're also not passing it out to those in lower social classes. The majority is the elite, but if they can find some trustworthy folks in lower classes, they'll jump on them too."
“Of course. More fuel for the cult," Noel said.
Odette was nodding along in understanding. "So, what strains are there?” Odette spoke. “All seven of them, right?”
“We’ve managed to deduce that there’s Sloth, Envy, Pride, Gluttony, Lust, and Greed,” Valentin explained, holding up a finger for each listed name. "There's one for every legendary, being that sacrilege, at its base, again, comes from them."
“Okay, but that’s six,” Noel said with a forced chuckle. “That leaves…”
“Wrath,” Valentin finished.
Something about that felt…foreboding. And it wasn’t just the look on Valentin’s face that said that.
“Do you think it’s just one you haven’t found?” Odette questioned.
“We’ve only accounted for six different versions. Never a Wrath, at any point.”
“Has he ever mentioned anything about it to you?”
“I’ve asked, yes,” Valentin said. “Didn’t get much more than some elusive bullshit answer each and every time.”
“So that means they might be sitting on it,” Noel hypothesized. “These other strains are doing a number on the general public, and maybe Wrath is the ace up their sleeve. I don't even think I want to know what a drug called ‘Wrath’ would do to people.”
Odette knew firsthand what it felt like to succumb to feelings of Wrath. It happened to her daily. She couldn’t imagine people taking a drug that might induce it to conjure up some powerful demonic Pokemon.
However, as the thought occurred to her, something spilled out of her mouth before she could think about it.
“Or maybe they don’t have access to it,” she said blindly.
She watched as every head in the room collectively turned in her direction. Valentin’s brow quirked. He leaned forward a little too quickly for comfort.
“What makes you say that?” he asked. He sounded a little more forceful than he did a few seconds ago. She instinctively recoiled back toward the couch but spoke nonetheless.
“Well, let's look at the facts,” she began, forcing another deep breath into her lungs. Her throat was still so tight that she didn't quite feel like she'd gotten enough air, but she decided she'd have to deal with it. “Every other strain is fucking up the overdosers. I’ve read enough public case files on them to know that it doesn’t seem like one is worse than the other; they’re all bad in excess,” she said. “So I couldn’t imagine, even if it is considered the scariest one of the seven, that Wrath could be any more or less worse. So, why hold off on it? Unless it’s a strain that they’ve found might subsequently wipe us all out, I can’t see a reason other than they don’t have it.”
She watched as some tension deflated from Valentin’s shoulders, and Noel averted his gaze toward his lap in thought.
“Right. That’s something we considered as well,” Valentin agreed stiffly. The slight disappointment in his tone was not lost on her, but everything was moving far too fast for her to focus on it. “Nothing in any tested samples has indicated any mixing with it, or even a tell if it’s coming. So we’re entirely in the dark on that front. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little concerning. If they are sitting on it, the question is, why? And if they don’t actually have Wrath on hand…”
“...then where exactly is it?” Noel finished. Valentin nodded at him, looking grim.
“Where exactly is it, indeed.”
All was quiet for a beat, as it seemed everyone in the room was trying to settle into the information being thrown about. Though, Odette couldn't quite enjoy the silence. The sound of her own heartbeat beating on her eardrums had become borderline deafening.
“So you purchase sacrilege from Dorien to test the strains, but you also said something about side-effect combatants? Does that somehow play into what happens to unsuspecting shiny catchers who don’t join their cult?” Odette questioned.
“Sacrilege, as you probably know, can leave anybody who ingests it in excess in pretty…bad shape. The price paid to summon a monstrous Pokemon within yourself. We mainly test it for antidotes to revert overdosers to their former selves.”
“For both humans and Pokemon,” Noel said.
“Correct,” Valentin said. “We’ve also had to develop combatants to an Enigma-only weapon they’ve started using against those they believe are our operatives or those, like people who get ahold of sacrilege unauthorized and perhaps those who passed it out unauthorized, who might blow their cover.”
“Like…bombs and shit? Sin guns? How do you weaponize this crap outside of an illicit drug?” Noel breathed.
Valentin proceeded to slide over the last folder he had in his arms. “They call it ‘Vice Dust.’ It's essentially just overprocess sacrilege. However they're making it, they seem to make a few erroneous batches that result in a substance that functions a little more pointedly than sacrilege. And they've started putting it to use."
“That's not to be confused with pixie dust,” Odette said drily while Noel grabbed the folder. That got a spiteful laugh out of Valentin before he went on.
“Can’t guarantee you’re going to understand everything in that folder, but what you’re seeing there are the tests we ran on subjects exposed to it. Like sacrilege, there are six strains, but the effects are a little different.”
“Amnesia?” Noel said. Odette turned her head to see he was holding a page from the folder. “So this is what they’re using on the trainers who refuse them?”
Odette hated how fast she snatched the paper from him. Her eyes roved past the graphs and numbers until she found a written paragraph to better explain what exactly she was looking at.
Subject 12A had been experiencing symptoms of amnesia, including an inability to recall recent past events regarding their investigation. After treatment from antidote series 1602B, their memories began to recover. As a result of the treatment, we have deduced that they had been exposed to 3rd Degree Greed Vice Dust.
“What the actual fuck does Greed have to do with someone’s memory?” Odette said under her breath.
“We believe it has something to do with Avareed’s passive effects. According to my father’s notes, Avareed was, as Florent described, a mind eater. ‘Greed for knowledge,’ so to speak,” Valentin said. “From our understanding, they’re using the same essence they’ve used to create sacrilege to also come up with this substance capable of this kind of nonsense.”
“Oh, that’s sick,” Noel said bitterly. “Any average suspicious Team Enigma member can just walk right up to my dumbass and sprinkle me with Greed amnesia dust, and boom, I’m fucked?”
“We’ve had our own ops see it happen,” Valentin said, holding his arms out to his sides. "And the treatment notes there don't lie. Actual victims."
Odette couldn’t take her eyes off the page. Once more, her brain was rolling, trying to get its own thoughts in a row.
Dorien’s job, old secondary school shit, stupid fucking Denis, she thought. Was I ever questioned about Enora?
Dorien gets sick in church. I get sick in church. My eyes are a color mutation. I have the same symptoms.
Wrath...
“Odette?”
She jolted from her haze and felt Isaur drive a chilly finger into her side. She gave the froslass a weak yet reassuring nod, before dropping the page back into the folder.
“Can…hypothetically speaking…memories be jogged by other means other than your antidote?” she asked tentatively.
“Sure. The lower the degree, the easier to jog naturally. There are only three tiers we’ve discovered of the Greed strain specifically. First-degree exposees were much easier to deal with, while third-degree required an antidote every time. Stronger stuff. Jogs can also happen in waves. Somebody might remember some things naturally but need help with the rest. Honestly, it varies from person to person how well they take it."
Had her memories been jogged at any point? Yes, when Dorien mentioned something about selling Enora, back when they’d reconnected, she remembered his occupation. And her dislike for him came on pretty instantly. But talking about secondary school, specifically stuff related to her time with Dorien, didn’t jog her memories of it. Noel mentioning Denis didn’t make her remember him asking her out.
She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take. The continued revelations were starting to force an unbearable weight into her stomach, one that was leaving her wanting to gag and maybe lose the protein bar she'd eaten that morning all over the floor.
But they needed to keep going.
“So they’re just full-on Men-In-Black’ing these poor guys?” Noel said.
“Cleaner than killing them, I suppose,” Valentin commented flatly. “I figure it's much easier to steal the shiny away, wipe the trainer's memory, then modify any checkpoint records to indicate the shiny never existed than to have to deal with disposing of a body and possible missing persons cases. Not that they’re past that. Can’t imagine every soul that’s managed to evade our help somehow is still alive.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t take Team Enigma as being a group to leave bodies out and about with the possibility of being found,” Odette grumbled. Saying something to take her mind off of where it was. Of course, it didn't work.
Noel was still busy flipping through the pages in the file he had in his lap, evidently trying to make sense of what exactly he was looking at. At some point, he slammed it closed and threw it down on the table, along with the others he had yet to put down.
“Okay, that aside for now, I need you to backtrack again and explain the whole Clovis versus Valentin thing because that’s still got me kind of fucked up,” he insisted. “You said the real Clovis LeClair was dead? So how and why the fuck did you, Valentin Ménétries, end up with a dead man’s identity?"
Valentin sighed gruffly, then averted his eyes up to the ceiling and settled back into his spot on the desk. “I suppose there is no real way to lay this on you easily,” he said, “so I’ll just be frank and hope you don’t think I’m busting your chops.”
“We might be past that,” Odette said. Her own voice sounded distant to her now. She felt like she was slowly losing herself in her thoughts.
That got a slight chuckle out of him, which was enough to tug her back into reality for at least a second. “Virtue Corp exists to combat Team Enigma, first and foremost. We also function as the leading opponent against the shiny trade and the leading sanctuary for Pokemon--and, to a certain extent, humans--that have been affected by it. Rehabilitation, if you will. That’s how we’ve gotten so much intel on the non-legendary blood types as well.”
That explained why he got so mad at the gala. Odette nodded tiredly. “Noble. Tracks with your oddly minimalist website.”
"Gods, I forgot we even had that," Valentin said, shaking his head. "We put that up as a front for our efforts. A darling little non-profit trying to take down a shitty institution while we do...that and more, underground."
"You're far bigger than just that scope," Noel said.
"Oh yeah," Valentin said, nodding heavily. "My family, the Ménétries family, couldn't even do this alone. We’ve partnered with seven other pretty powerful families in Kalos to make Virtue Corp and its goals what it is now. The De Guignes’s, the Giradot’s, the Subercaseux’s, the Toussaint’s, the Aliker’s, the Delsarte’s,” Odette watched as he lightly cringed over that name, “and the LeClair’s.”
Odette’s brows raised for more reasons than one, and she perked up out of her slump. “So the LeClair's are a family working with you, you’ve just taken on their name?”
“I’ve been a researcher of blood types for most of my life. I was actually in school to become a certified Pokemon Professor while competing as a figure skater. But, as the head of Virtue Corp, my father got deeper into his…desire to combat Team Enigma, and blood type research took over everything. Soon I had to drop figure skating and focus primarily on my research and the cause. This started to include…going into the field to collect evidence."
“Your undercover work,” Noel said.
He nodded. “But, I couldn’t do that as Valentin Ménétries. Florent and possibly any close confidants of his would know the surname. We also needed to ensure I took on an identity that would allow me to get access to things a normal civilian wouldn’t. That ended up coming down to the name of the LeClair’s late son, Clovis.”
“So what actually happened to him, if you don't mind me asking?” Odette asked, masking the internal relief that was flooding her core. If he was telling the truth here, then that meant his chances of being some sick fuck were being pushed further out the window, and he was most likely not lying about being a predator.
Thank gods. Thank fucking gods. At least something decent was coming out of this conversation.
“Clovis LeClair, the real Clovis LeClair, was a depressed, socially anxious shut-in. He was credited with developing the business solutions that made Claire De Lune what it is today. He committed suicide about six years ago. His parents never made that information public.”
Once more, looks were exchanged, far more incredulous than the first share.
“So to get in with these rich blood type trainers safely, they made you take on the dead Clovis LeClair’s identity?” Noel said.
“The real Clovis LeClair was dedicated to stopping Enigma and the trade and finding out more about these blood types. His parents felt it would be ‘carrying on his legacy’ or whatever the fuck that meant. We were quite similar in many senses—family brains, numbers people, dedicated to the cause. The council felt it made sense and that I could somehow make it work.”
“Looks like you did,” Odette said.
“Yeah,” Valentin said, “a little too well.”
“Too well?”
“Research and evidence collecting quickly turned into rubbing elbows with potential high-ranking Enigma members. I somehow managed to get 'friendly' with Dorien, got further into Enigma’s sacrilege crap, actually got ahold of sacrilege samples, and learned more about Enigma in general. So, my little undercover mission gained a little more importance. We’d already started partnering with the police forces all over Kalos, but they felt there was no point in pulling me out and having another cop do what I was doing—I was already in.”
“Wait, you’re not just working with the LCPD?” Odette blurted.
“This is a region-wide cause; it’s not just concentrated on Lumiose. The most active area happens to be Lumiose. So, unfortunately, the chief of the LCPD—your grandfather—is the busiest.”
“What luck,” Noel scoffed.
“Do you guys speak a lot?” Odette shot back without thinking.
A brief rush of panic flooded Valentin’s perfect gaze, and he cleared his throat. “...semi-regularly,” he said sheepishly. “We’ve gotten to know each other rather well if I’m being honest.”
That was fucking rich. Bernard was getting more date time with Valentin than Odette figured she ever would. She exhaled evenly to keep herself from making a face that would make her envy obvious.
“Small world.”
“Small world,” Valentin echoed.
“So,” she said, “you’re a figure skater turned professor turned undercover researcher with the name of a dead shut-in turned undercover spy. All because of the way things fell into place?”
“When you put it like that, it sounds absurd,” Noel jeered.
“It is absurd,” Valentin said. “But it’s all true. I couldn’t make this crap up even if I tried; fiction writing was never my forte.”
It all felt way too elaborate and oddly specific for it to be a fib.
“Gods, the more you talk, the more tired I get,” Odette said. She sounded like she was in pain, and truthfully, she felt no different. It was amazing how mental angst could hurt so much more than physical ailments sometimes.
She pinched the bridge of her nose and rested her elbows on her knees. She then felt a cold hand begin to pat her shoulder again and sent a silent nod of thanks toward Isaur.
“I don’t blame you,” Valentin said. “This is a lot to take in, and that’s a horrible understatement.”
“I didn’t come here expecting a whole-ass conspiracy theory to fall into my lap. I’d have brought something to take notes,” Noel said.
“Rest assured that I have plenty of other notes on hand.”
“And you're not whistleblowing the shit out this because,” Odette suddenly said, raising her head as another thought occurred to her, "that would let Enigma know what you're up to. It would basically blow your cover."
“Checkmate, Miss Cinq-Mars. You're very good at this," he complimented. The sudden spike of crush-induced adrenaline nearly sent her over the vomiting edge.
"Not to mention, there's a very wealthy man heading this apparently very large criminal cult who has access to seven—maybe six—very deadly-sounding legendaries that only he and his cult know about. And said cult members are farming these legendaries' descendants in their honor. That's pretty simple, scary math, too," Noel said, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You too, Mr. Masse."
“But while I do understand the need for your cover," Noel went on, "I can’t imagine what the reaction is gonna be when the general public finds out the cops and a bunch of rich people were fudging public case records and warding off the press to keep all of this from them in the first place."
Valentin narrowed his eyes slightly. “Do I want to know how you know about that?"
"Gals in different locales, honey," Noel declared.
Sighing in what sounded to be defeat, Valentin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Believe me, we are stuck between a wall of knives and a loaded assault rifle in that regard. But, we collectively decided it would be better to break the news to the public after Florent had been apprehended, Enigma disbanded, and these legendaries and type more adequately researched."
Noel was nodding in agreement at that point. "It lessens the blow if it's all been solved and dealt with," he said.
"That's the end goal," Valentin said.
“But why even tell us this?" Odette spoke up again. "Why not just tell us we’re way too over our heads and to fuck off? You’ve clearly got the authority for it.”
That got a deep breath out of Valentin, and he slowly crossed his arms over his chest. “Simply put, you’re both ins now.”
He gestured to Odette. “To take one of your pins out, Dorien Bonhomme is obsessed with you. He mentioned that you two had a thing while you were in school, so I'd have to say it stems from that," he said in a borderline grumble. "I’ve been playing friendly with him for the past five years, yet I seem to have hit a wall trying to get to Florent. They trust me with the sacrilege, they trust me enough to tell me about Enigma-related things, but I’m stuck there. You, on the other hand, have a very different in with him that I could never obtain, which might prove useful in getting ahead. And Mr. Masse is very good at socializing, and it's always better to have more charismatic teammates on hand."
Odette palmed her cheek in exasperation. “So basically, you want us to join your undercover squad?”
He held his hands out to his sides. “I’m not asking you to do anything different. Let’s be real here; you were already doing it alone. Now I’m just simply offering Virtue Corp’s backing and protection.”
Another good point. There were enough unsolicited parallels from that phone call that she’d overheard that she was beginning to believe he was in their court. That wasn’t part of her overwhelming anxiety anymore.
All nervous thoughts now centered on the bits of information she’d just found out about. The true origin of shinies, these legendaries, the fact that the very person she was trying to shmooze had one within him and was quote on quote “obsessed with her.” She didn’t like that wording.
If she didn’t feel like she was getting in over her head at first, she definitely did now. She didn't think she'd ever been this nervous about anything in her entire life. And yet, she somehow still wanted to hear more. Valentin had to have somehow read her mind because he spoke again.
“And there’s…another reason. Admittedly, my primary reason for drilling you at all. I’ve wavered on disclosing it, so forgive me for its late arrival. It’s just a tad less…concrete.”
Odette raised her brows at him. She was momentarily alarmed that he was ready to keep stuff from them, but then she remembered what she was actively refraining from disclosing to him. She supposed she could let it slide.
“Go on,” she urged. She didn’t think he could say anything that would make her more uneasy than she already was.
He scrunched his nose in contemplation as if he were still wavering to say what was on his mind. He was so fucking adorable when he was thinking.
Gods, she was a mess.
Just when it seemed like he wasn’t going to speak, he managed something. "It's largely observational and largely me trying to make sense of things,” he said slowly, “but to be completely and totally blunt with you, Miss Cinq-Mars, you bear a striking resemblance to Florent.”
Another checkmark from the phone conversation. One that sent her soul into a spin and made her feel lightheaded. Uncanny resemblance, he had said, hadn’t he?
Of course, that was the last thing she’d have assumed he was talking about.
“I–?” she tried to speak but found that her mouth had started to fill with cotton. I'm going to throw up, she thought dazedly. I'm absolutely going to throw up all over his office floor.
“Resemblance? How the hell would you know that for sure?” Isaur squeaked in alarm. Odette had retreated so far back into her own head that she almost couldn't hear her.
“You have a picture of this guy or something?” Noel sputtered.
Valentin was raising his hands defensively before Noel began to speak. “We have a single photo of him, courtesy of my father, but it’s years old. He certainly wouldn’t look that way now. Even so, the likeness is very much there, but it’s just a hunch. There are billions of people on this earth; it’s easy to see similarities between completely unrelated people.”
“So then, why is that even on your mind?”
Odette was very thankful Noel was with her. Having him do the talking while she sat there trying to conjure words and keep herself from having a psychotic episode made things easier for her.
“Well…” Valentin said cautiously. “I hope I don’t end up crossing a line, but I’m going to go there anyway. I’m aware from my conversations with Chief Cinq-Mars that you, Miss Cinq-Mars, were born without a legal father figure. Is that right?”
She regained lung function and managed to exhale sharply. “Y-yes. Maman fucked around a lot when she was younger and went a little too far with some guy…almost twice her age…from what she’s told me…” she trailed off as she clawed her hands up through her bangs and settling them on the crown of her head.
Now she was actually thinking about it. If she were doing her math correctly, if Florent were in school to be a professor in the ‘80s, that would put him in his early twenties. In 1997, that should have had him in his early thirties.
Roughly twice her mother’s age at the time.
“Did your maman tell you anything else about who her fling was?” Valentin prodded.
Her tongue felt swollen. It felt dry. It felt just as numb as she did. And yet, she still found her words. “Didn’t talk much about him. I never bothered asking; never thought it was worth my time. All she told me was that I must have gotten this eye color mutation from him because it didn’t run in her side of the family.”
The face Valentin made didn’t help ease her nerves whatsoever. How his beautiful eyes became so solemn only caused her heartbeat to pick up. And not for a good reason.
“I can confirm via my father’s personal stories that Florent indeed had a similar eye color to yours, Miss Cinq-Mars.”
Such a simple response hit so much harder than she ever thought possible. Learning that Dorien had a powerful legendary in his possession, that Enora might have one herself, that she happened to slip under the radar for Enigma’s gatekeeping, the weird parallels about her poor health and the health of shinies, that Enigma has ways to wipe people’s memories, and now something even more fucked?
I'm going to throw up.
“Do you have his picture with you?”
“Unfortunately, no. I only have the files I’ve shown you because I knew we’d discuss them. I was under the impression I would have a lot more to run by you, so I didn’t think we’d be getting this far today, if at all,” he admitted. “I don’t keep anything Virtue Corp-related here otherwise. For safety reasons.”
“So where is it?” she pressed.
He shifted uncomfortably. “My apartment. I’d be more than happy to schedule another meeting with you two at a later date to show–”
“So let’s go to your apartment,” Odette said, once again not thinking before speaking. Noel darted his head in her direction, looking slightly more incredulous than the last time he’d done so. Even Isaur looked taken aback.
“Holluh-holluh-holluh-holluh-hollup,” he faltered, waving his arms. “Are you for real right now? That is like textbook bait,” he said in a half-whisper.
“I’d be offended in some capacity, but I’m inclined to agree with Mr. Masse here.” He paused to reevaluate what he was trying to say, clearing his throat again. “Hypothetically.”
With a gruff exhale, he shook his head. “The point of meeting in a public place like this was to prove I wasn’t up to anything, and I feel like returning to my house defeats that purpose. I do not want to give you any reason to distrust me, and it’s my fault for not being properly prepared.”
Yes, she’d been so worried on the drive over that they were riding into a mugging. Or something worse. But she was sticking to her guns on this. She needed to see more, even if it meant she never left the mental tailspin she was stuck in. But, she did find some room to make note of his cautiousness and appreciated it in spite of everything.
“If I’m asking you to take us there, I don’t think it counts.”
“Right, it just makes you sound reckless,” he shot back, his expression deadpan.
“Sound?” Odette repeated, tilting her head questioningly. Her boiling panic started to bubble up behind her words. “I think it’s all but been said that that’s what I am. And if you have information on this criminal ass man who is in a scarily coincidental position to be the fling that got my maman pregnant with me, I would like to see it all.”
She exhaled deeply to level herself out, but the franticness wasn’t going away. It only continued to build, like water behind a cracking dam.
“Pardon if I sound a little forceful, but I’m getting a little stressed out here. I’m trying to defend my illnesses and insisting I don’t know shit about these Pokemon, but now I’m finding out one of my team members has one, and that I’m displaying symptoms of a shiny that has one, and that Dorien has gotten ill in the presence of Arcean things, and I think I have too, and now you’re telling me the head of fucking Team Enigma looks like me, and I can’t—“
“Eeeeeeasy, O,” Noel tried to ease her, massaging the back of her neck with his hand. Isaur nuzzled close to her, as if trying to cool her down. Somewhere, deep in her shrieking mind, she felt appreciation for the gesture.
Still, she felt a sense of regret starting to build. Fuck. Fuck. I said too much. I really--
“It’s alright, Miss Cinq-Mars,” Valentin said sympathetically. “You've made your point.”
All was quiet again as Valentin began to think about how he would respond to the request. Odette was fully expecting him to drill her about her drop about the Arcean relics, but no such interrogation came. It wasn’t long before he sighed dejectedly.
“I suppose if you’re insisting, there’s nothing to call seedy. And I want you to see these things sooner rather than later, now,” he relented.
“Provided you actually have things worth looking at,” Noel interjected pointedly.
“I did tell you I had notes aplenty. Hopefully, enough to answer any lasting questions you might still have.”
Noel gave Odette a light yet reassuring squeeze on the back of her neck. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Valentin rolled up his sleeve to check his watch, flexing his lips at the time he read. “I guess I can go home for the day at this point. I cleared my schedule for this meeting.”
“What, did you think this was going to take hours?” Odette said.
“As I said, I greatly underestimated how on top of things you two were.”
His eyes roved back to the covered window, and he sucked his teeth. “If we are going to go, it’s best we go now. The forecast says a storm will be hitting later in the evening, and I have no intent to be driving in that.”
“Considering we came here on a motorcycle, I think I concur,” Noel said. He sat up again and peered back at Odette, who’d yet to take her eyes off Valentin.
“You feel okay-ish enough to drive?”
So much information to dissect. So many questions and so many answers to file through. She didn't know what she felt, but it was nothing airing on the side of coherent, she guessed. But, she wasn't down and out enough to stall her from trying to puzzle everything she’d just learned together. There was still more to learn. There was still more she had to know. More to further confirm what she might have already concluded.
At the very least, getting to see where Valentin lived was definitely a light at the end of the very, very dark tunnel she seemed to be stuck in.
She sighed deeply and stood up. She felt wobbly but willed herself to stay upright, and Isaur hovered up next to her to keep her upright. Odette firmly grasped her hand to assure her she was okay.
Okay, so, chapter 13, we're finally getting info on these blood-types! Lots of info I was pressing on not too long ago. Not sure if this was planned for this chapter and I was impatient, or if my impatience lead to you adding all this, but it's good to get all this clarification in-fic, either way!
So this does answer that there are blood types that are not legendary, and that they totally can battle without being powered up! I wonder just how many of these fakemon you have.
I do love that Odette's fighting her inner crush during all of this, too. It's worked in in such a way that it's noticeable, but not at all distracting.
LOL Noel, now I wanna see what this one looks like. (I can't remember if you've drawn/shown them all in the discord? I vaguely recall you drawing a couple at least...)
She stared at the drawing far longer than she had at any of the other ones. Her eyebrows scrunched in concentration as what felt like…familiarity overcame her. She wasn’t sure why she empathized with it so much. Perhaps it was because she succumbed to the feeling of anger at least once a day.
This is the first of many places where I honestly fully expected Clovis to be all "you have Venira inside of you don't you?" and I'm genuinely surprised he didn't, but I expect this to lead up to a much better sudden reveal later on.
FUCKING DORIEN?! I feel like this may have been spoiled for me from a storycrafter or something but I forgot about it, because this surprised me in a way that was like... familiar. But this does explain his creepy battle style. Also the vice dust! Odette doesn't seem to remember she had that dust used on her in the car!
“Some poor sap comes back with a shiny. They mark the sap and the shiny. Hunt them down. Convince them to join their cause. You might have gotten away with it because you never went through a physical checkpoint with Enora, but–”
It wasn't until this point that I realized that Enigma was actively hunting down people who catch shinies, via these city checkpoints. I'll admit that this portion got a little fuzzy for me... why can't non-Kalosians catch shinies outside of Kalos? Purely on the off-chance that they happen to be involved in an underground secret smuggling ring? Sure it makes them easier to slip through the cracks and therefore harder for Enigma to find them, but it does feel to me a little bit... specific a law.
Either way, it's interesting to note that Odette thinks she hasn't been being tracked, when the (updated) prologue makes it pretty clear that Florent has had her under a constant magnifying glass since she was a baby, even though she doesn't realize it.
“Normal people are getting sacrilege to use just for battling reasons. Or as a party drug. On themselves and their regular non-shinies. What happens if they unwittingly bring about a blood type? I can’t imagine they’re aware that that’s a side effect,” Odette said.
“They can form in anything that has blood in it. The shiny distinction is just because shiny Pokemon were born with one. But, a regular ‘mon could spawn one. A shiny could have their original leech removed and be forced to help create another.”
Also interesting to note that sacrilege can be used on non-shinies, too. I do wonder how that affects normal pokemon, then, if they don't have a blood-type to power up. AND interesting that non-shinies can still harbor a blood-type! That's almost for sure going to be a surprise thing used late in the fic somewhere, somehow, I guarantee it.
“What makes you say that?” he asked. He sounded a little more forceful than he did a few seconds ago. She instinctively recoiled back toward the couch but spoke nonetheless.
See, this makes me suspect that he does think Odette harbors Venira, and just hasn't said so. Especially the 'disappointment in his tone' when he hears Odette's explanation, as though he were hoping she'd accidentally reveal her secret.
“Amnesia?” Noel said. Odette turned her head to see he was holding a page from the folder. “So this is what they’re using on the trainers who refuse them?”
And circling back around to the vice dust, this is how they're getting around just not killing everyone who decides not to join them, and how they can freely investigate every single shiny found at a report checkpoint. Sneaky. Kinda cool that it's not a binary "join or die" thing.
More interesting to note is the "Greed" vice dust... As if they have different effects based on the sin... I wonder what those other effects are. Anyway, something that wasn't touched upon in their conversation, but this means that while manning the checkpoints, Enigma can also wipe the records of the shinies caught/reported there, too. Because they have to actually record the shiny for Enigma to know they're there, but if they don't delete the record after using the vice dust, it will still show that shiny in the possession of the amnesiac trainer. I imagine they're probably monitoring the checkpoints to either recruit kids who catch them, or to steal the shinies themselves, so in order to separate the pokemon from the trainer, they must be able somehow to do that in addition to the memory-wiping dust. They have far more control than anyone seems to realize. I wonder though how no one has yet noticed that records seem to keep appearing and then disappearing, and that it's only happening to shiny records? If they're not manning every station, some have to be more difficult to remove, right? And don't those records have to get processed/transferred to some central storage? Maybe they just have some inside man there, I guess. Hmmmm.
He snickered before he went on. “But, my family, the Ménétries family, doesn’t do it alone. We’ve partnered with seven of the most powerful families in Kalos to stop it. The De Guignes’s, the Giradot’s, the Subercaseux’s, the Toussaint’s, the Aliker’s, the Delsarte’s,” Odette watched as he lightly cringed over that name, “and the LeClair’s.”
But I have to ask,” Odette suddenly said, raising her head. “Why not whistleblow the shit out this? It seems like you guys have some pretty damning evidence to put this whole thing on blast all over the world. Why keep it so secretive? Why fudge the public records and ward off the press like you’re asking my grandpa to do?”
One minor gripe I have this chapter is this part here; it does seem to be a little out of character for Odette, I think. She's a smart girl, I'd think she'd know better than to wonder why this is all being kept under wraps...
“Very wealthy man heading the largest criminal organization in the world has access to seven—maybe possibly six—very deadly legendaries that only he and his confidants know about. Do the math,” Valentin replied.
...even before Clovis sums it all up nicely for her here. Mostly because I thought of these reasons before Clovis said them, so surely of I did, then Odette would realize, too.
“And there’s…another reason. Admittedly, my primary reason for drilling you at all. I’ve wavered on disclosing it, so forgive me for its late arrival. It’s just a tad less…concrete.”
Again, I absolutely expected him to reveal his suspicion about Venira here, even after his actual reveal of her looking like Florent, because it still does kind of connect to that, but he doesn't. It's gonna be one hell of a reveal when it actually does happen (I suspect in the heat of the moment of some danger).
Hi Sind! Back for some more WSBS and I thought I'd start off with your revised prologue to get me back into the swing of things. It's definitely an expansion! All the things I remember from the first prologue--seven deadly sin pokemon, grunts being nommed on, memory-loss child--happen, but we get a lot more context for them and a lot more set up for where the story is going. I think the changes you made are smart. Prologues are doing their job when they set up the stakes for the story, particularly stakes that might not be immediately obvious. Your previous prologue set up the stakes of scary sin pokemon and big bad organization, but without a clear tie to the early chapters. With this one, your reader gets to go into chapter one knowing why Odette's important to this story and with some insider information on her bouts of Rage (TM).
Florent POV was certainly a time. I enjoyed how casually horrible he was. When we hit 'college dorm' I was like 'uhhh' and then his whole inner-monologue starts going off on how Vienna sure was sneaky tricking him about her age. Big yikes. And then the casual mass infanticide contemplation. I found it hilarious when he started praising Odette internally with comparisons to fancy wine and ballerinas--really showed the paucity of his inner world.
The relationship between Florent and Gullative held a lot of the tension of the chapter. I liked the balance you struck, where Gullative clearly has a strong hold on Florent, down to the 'give me 20 grunts for lunch' thing, but the hold isn't absolute and Florent is aware of the ways Gullative influences him--and isn't happy about it. Him leaving Gullative behind for the baby-murder mission showed the lack of trust there. He wants to be clear-headed for important things and Gullative is not that for him. Once you described a firey eye for Gullative, I started to get a very 'fighting the influence of the One Ring' sort of vibe.
It did take me out of the story a bit that Florent has to go and do his baby-murder personally. I would have that he'd have people for that? It seems like a pretty big risk to do that kind of thing personally, especially when you have your own handy personal cult. Obviously it has to happen that way for him to have his big change of heart, but I would have liked a little more narrative justification for why it has to be him personally. I also wasn't entirely sure how recapturing Venira would have worked if he had killed Odette. That sounds like something that could potentially cause a ruckus if Venira resisted him.
Another thing I appreciated was how Florent has a soft-spot for his kids . . . for a very given value of soft-spot. Putting the memory-eating spirit of Greed in your kid definitely merits the 'A+ parenting' tag. When he realized how much the grunt-eating episode scarred Armel I began to think, oh, a glimmer of empathy. His solution? Tear out that page in the diary, so Armel can't remember it. Oof. Even in his moment of getting heart-eyed over Odette, his inner monologue is very focused on shaping her and owning her, how she can become a vessel for his ideas and extension of himself. It's a nice illustration of the principle that caring for other people is not inherently redemptive. Florent's twisted affection for Odette certainly adds another layer to what I'm sure will be an inevitable confrontation. He's not just the big-bad who wants the pokemon she'd got in her, he's also Darth Vader her wanna-be loving dad. Honestly, if expanding your base of criminal operations to another country isn't the definition of responsible parenting, what is?
Over all, very solid changes--I think this does a much better job setting up the story you're going to tell. Looking forward to picking up at chapter 4!
Why's "azure" capitalized here? If that's the name of the sea, it would be the Azure Sea. If it's being used as an adjective, it wouldn't be capitalized.
Keeping at bay struck me as an odd way to put it, when it seems what Gulattive wants to do here is get Venira back, sort of the opposite of keep at bay.
"These are for you. The subjects in the lab were able to fashion a working keycard for ease of access. You should be able to get into all the wards without much hassle.’
When he wasn't powered up by blood, Gulattive looked no more menacing than a mid-evolution Pokemon. His voice still managed to carry all the weight, but it was visually palatable.
CW: Strong Language, Light Blood, discussion of Pokemon trafficking
This chapter has not been beta read. I also suck at writing battles, so pls be gentle <3
The shade of the weeping willows was not enough to stop the angry heat Odette was feeling. Her garish and floppy derby hat wasn't helping, either.
Truthfully, it was barely seventy-five degrees outside, and she still felt like she was going to break into a harsh sweat, all from the heat of the anger bubbling in her back. Despite this, she hung off of Dorien, smiling back at the dead stares from the top one percent. Once in a while, she'd gaze off over the garden, past the stark white gazebos they were standing around, and over to the neatly kept rosebushes that bordered the gravel paths through the garden. At least those were nice to look at.
"What a darling sylveon! We don't see many of the eons around here," a woman said. "Is she for sale today?"
"I don't plan to sell her," Odette said quickly, resisting the urge to curse the bitch out. She pushed through an airy laugh like she'd observed some of the other socialites doing as they spoke.
"That's a shame. Sylveons, espeons, and umbreons are really difficult to find. They don't evolve with stones, you know?" the woman said, swishing her wine around in its glass. "What evolution coercion service did you use to get her to evolve? I've never seen one successfully put out a sylveon!"
Odette started blinking. She must have looked like a deerling in headlights because she had no idea what this lady was talking about.
"I..." she stuttered. "This might be a silly question, but what's a coercion service?"
The woman placed a hand over her heart. "Oh, my apologies, sweetheart. You're new around here," she said. "They're just services that get some of our lovely Pokemon who don't evolve with stones and other knickknacks to evolve. To fetch a higher price and whatnot!"
She gasped. "Wow, things like that exist? I went out of my way to get her to evolve myself!"
Odette was acutely aware of Enora's presence at her side, and it physically pained her to allow herself to say those words.
It's an act.
A convincing act at that because some of the patrons began to laugh.
"That's impressive. Are you sure she isn't for sale? I'm very interested," that same woman said.
Odette started to shake her head more aggressively than she meant to. She instinctively extended her leg slightly, trying to metaphorically block this lady from looking at Enora like she was something to covet. "No, I think I'm going to pass."
"I'd give you €1.5 billion for her."
"Well, I'd do €2 billion!" somebody else chimed in almost immediately as if they were waiting for a price to get thrown out.
Before Odette knew it, various numbers were being screamed at her, monetary amounts she never thought she'd have directed at her in her lifetime. Women raised their comically tiny parasols, and the men tipped their bowler hats and waved their decorative canes. The commotion caused a sense of panic to swell within her, and she was suddenly conflicted about what to do. She needed to stand her ground, but she didn't want to subject Enora to this horror. Odette just wanted to pick her up, run, and never look back.
But she couldn't do that. They were way too deep.
So, she did what this character would do. She leaned into Dorien and grabbed hold of his jacket, like a shy damsel looking for a reprieve from the attention.
"Alright, alright," Dorien said, looping his arm around her shoulders and raising his other hand. This effectively ended the yelling as the present patrons silenced themselves to listen to him. "She's already made it clear she's not selling, so let's not overwhelm her, okay?"
His words worked like Hydro Pump on a poor use of Will-O-Wisp. As quickly as the crowd had piped up, they retreated back into themselves, going back to eyeing Enora like she was something to eat. It was hardly a preferable change, but one that Odette would make herself stomach for now. If anything, she was more shocked to hear Dorien acting like a decent human being.
"So sorry, Dorien. We don't want to scare her off," that woman said again.
"Really, not this one. She's a damn looker!" a man said.
She heard Dorien chuckle, and he reached up and caressed her cheek with his thumb. As much as she wanted to retreat, she fully leaned into it but found she couldn't quite look him in the eye. So, she did something repulsive--she turned her head into his hand and planted a soft kiss on his palm. Maybe he'd accept it as a thank you because she wouldn't say it out loud.
"I really am lucky, aren't I?" he asked. There was a purr in his voice that made her absolutely ill. "Odette was hands down the prettiest girl in our school. But she wouldn't let anybody near her, not even me."
"Wow, a heartbreaker!" somebody commented.
"I was just never really into dating in high school," Odette laughed, looking over at him and bearing the friendliest smile she could muster.
Dorien chuckled again. "She really just has high standards, so of course, she decided that I was worth the time."
"When's the wedding?" another asked jokingly.
Dorien shrugged. "Soon, I hope. I'd be able to die happy if I could call this pretty thing my wife."
Lighthearted laughs traveled around the group again, but Odette couldn't even fake a grin for that. Hearing the word 'wife' fall out of Dorien's mouth, in her regard, unearthed feelings in her stomach that couldn't be adequately described. She'd start by saying she was just downright disturbed. Even if they really were dating, they'd only been at it for a couple of weeks. Was that really where his head was?
She inhaled deeply, trying to ward off the tickle in her back. Focus. She needed to focus. "Don't get ahead of yourself, I just turned twenty-two," she warned, letting the seriousness leak into her tone. But, she smacked him playfully on the chest and reeled herself back. "Though every day with him feels like a breath of fresh air. Even if we haven't been together that long, I could anticipate a wedding relatively soon, maybe."
She exhausted herself just speaking that one sentence. It was becoming unbearable.
"Oh, I love young love!" a man piped up. "You're both in your prime, though. No better time to start thinking about building your family. Every big fortune needs an heir."
"And you'd both make such beautiful babies, my gods!" somebody else interjected.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to scream so goddamn loud.
I. Am in. Control, she had to keep repeating to herself. This is an act, and it's not real. You are playing a part.
Odette began to paw at her throat and released a couple of timed coughs. She found it harder and harder to hold herself up the longer she suppressed the anger that was churning within her. "I'm a little hoarse," she said. "I need a drink."
Dorien smiled broadly. "Of course," he said. He held his free hand out to the group. "If you'll excuse us, I'm going to go get my lady some wine."
Odette turned around as soon as he loosened his grip on her and took a couple of long strides away from him. She wasn't sure where she was going, but as long as she could get some distance between her and that gods-awful conversation, she didn't care. She stopped next to a standalone table, which was inhabited by a few others. They were speaking so loud, she was able to pick up on their conversation.
"€10.4 million for the spinda?"
"I'll do €10.7 million. You won't find these markings on any ol' spinda."
The longer she'd been here, the more she understood what was happening.
When she looked around, she saw hundreds more shinies than she had at the gala. As she made her rounds with Dorien upon arriving, she'd bore witness to numerous impromptu auctions, just like the one right next to her. The gala was a social event, but this was a fucking group auction.
Fucking deplorable, she thought.
"Sylveeeeeon," Enora groused quietly. as she sat down next to Odette's feet.
"Don't start with me, I already know that--"
She was cut off by Dorien catching up to her. He locked his arms with her and placed a hand on hers. As if he were somehow concerned about her well-being.
"Sorry about that. Us traders tend to get a little excited," he said. He sounded as sincere as he had when he calmed everyone down. As he spoke, a man in a vest sauntered by with a tray of white wine, and Dorien held a hand out to snap at him.
"Two here, good sir," he said. The waiter stopped and presented the tray, and Dorien plucked two of the glasses from it, handing the second one to Odette. She took it but didn't bother to take a sip. She hardly felt like putting alcohol in her system here would be a good idea.
She felt on higher alert than she had the last time, especially now that she was here parading Enora around. What she really wanted was a glass of water. Something for the rage, the tiredness.
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you a wine drinker, Enora?" Dorien asked. Odette watched as Enora shot him a dirty look.
"Sylv," she said stiffly.
"Enora doesn't have a taste for alcohol," Odette said. "None of my partners do. Except for Isaur, but she's just a foodie."
Saying that out loud made her furrow her brow. None of her partners were drinkers, except for Isaur.
Huh...
Dorien shrugged before sipping from his glass. "Suit yourself, but this is the good stuff. You won't find this wine at any old tea party."
That's what they were calling this one, a tea party. A garden tea party. Before, it was a gala, and now it was a tea party. Instead of a grand ballroom, they were now conversing in a vast, exquisitely-kept garden. Fountains were buried among rows and rows of expertly trimmed flower bushes and towering trees. Of course, this place looked picturesque. According to what Odette had read about it, it was kept almost entirely by roserades, roselias, and budews. It was normally open to the public and was a stomping ground for ambitious trainers. But today, the whole area had been rented out for this event.
The gathering itself was being held right on the banks of the giant, yet very charming lake, sitting smack in the middle of the flora. It looked like the scene had been pulled from A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of Grande Jatte down to the socialites in their vintage tea dresses, suits, stupid little parasols, and fancy hats. Such beautiful scenery, tarnished by the sound of exchanging prices and the sight of Pokemon who just looked defeated as they followed their owners around.
A swell of laughter erupted from a group nearby, and Odette turned her head abruptly. Naturally, Noel stood in the middle of it as he raised his half-empty champagne glass, clinking it with an elderly woman standing next to him, beaming as if he'd just told a clever joke. He held Vullaby in a baby harness, strapped to his stomach. The bird was in the middle of downing what looked to be a cupcake.
It was good to see that at least Noel and his partner were having a nice time with the top-donor friends they'd made. She hoped he was getting some good information in that little circle because, at this point, she wanted nothing more than to head home.
But, they were in deep. She had people bidding on Enora, and Noel had a crowd. As uncomfortable as it felt, it was a good spot. If they left now, there was a chance they forfeited their standing, and they certainly couldn't afford that now.
Besides, they'd been there for almost two hours, and Odette had yet to see even a glimpse of silver hair...
"Do you know where I could find some water?" she asked.
Dorien stopped in his sip before nodding his head toward the bar that had been set up under one of the larger white gazebos.
"They'll certainly have some at the bar," he said. "Is the wine too much, Doll?"
"It must be. I feel like I'm going to vomit," she said. She didn't need to lie about that part. It seemed that she was on the verge of throwing up every time she went to one of these things.
Dorien sighed deeply. "Well, that's no good," he said, sticking out his lower lip. "Why don't you and Enora head up there, and I'll meet you in a bit? I have to go find the other boys; they must be somewhere else."
She definitely liked that suggestion. Time away from him was time well spent. He'd barely left her alone since they'd arrived, and if she was going to continue swallowing her rage, she'd need a break. Especially after that conversation.
"I'm okay with that," she said. To ensure he wouldn't sweep her off into an unwanted kiss again, she went ahead and pecked him on the cheek herself. Gross, but the lesser of the two evils. He chuckled, then tapped her on the nose affectionately. He walked off after that, and Odette waited several seconds before turning on the heels of her character shoes, hiking up her dress with her free hand, and speed-walking to the bar.
"Syyyyyyyylve!" Enora hissed at her feet. "Sylveon, sylv. Sylv!"
"I already told you," Odette replied in a louder whisper. She was panting heavily now, and the corners of her vision were starting to blur. She needed to get to a chair and sit down. "I'm not dropping this until we figure out what the fuck we saw. This is a really bad place for you to be nagging me."
As she'd expected when she started getting involved in this escapade, Enora was wary. Actually, no. Solene was wary; Enora was vehemently opposed. She didn't want to get involved with anything that had the risk of being dangerous.
"Veeeeon," Enora said as they made it to the bar. Odette threw herself onto one of the stools and sat down with the wine glass. Enora hopped up onto the empty one next to her.
Taking a cautious look around, Odette could see that the area was mostly empty, and even the single bartender was busy with other matters at the other end of the bar. She took the opportunity to hunch down to Enora's eye level, despite the sleepiness that weighed her body down.
"I get it, Enora," she said. "Trust me. This is the last goddamn place I want to be right now. But believe me, if you saw what Isaur and I saw last week, you wouldn't be so pissy right now."
Enora returned her look with a similar level of intensity like she had no intention of backing down from her stance. Odette believed that much too because there was no swaying Enora from anything unless she put the work into it. If there was ever a time for Enora and her to be on the same page, it was now. She needed her to understand.
"I know you wouldn't listen to me all week," she continued. "But now that you're sitting here, looking at the other shiny Pokemon around you, listen to me now."
After a long beat, Enora reluctantly turned her head, looking over the other attendees and their Pokemon. Odette followed her gaze and once again took the time to just observe them.
A majority of them looked tired. Maybe not as tired as that malamar and that scizor had looked, but a lot of them walked with noticeably sluggish weight in their step. More noticeably, most exuded an aura of reluctance. They trailed behind their owners with gaits that made it clear they wanted to be anywhere else but there. Smiles were sparse, and cheerful mannerisms were even sparser.
"It's exactly what Isaur and I told you," she said. "From what we understand, some evil shit came out of those other Pokemon, and we have reason to believe that's happening to all the shinies here. Grandpa might know something about it, and Dorien definitely knows something about it, but we know nothing. And we're trying to change that."
Odette could see Enora's ears sinking lower and lower the more she spoke.
"I didn't want to bring you out because I know it's dangerous. They swarm you. That's why I didn't bring you last week, but Dorien started telling people I have a shiny, and…" she trailed off as she realized she was starting to ramble. She huffed and gave herself a moment to think.
Behind them, some cheers rang out. Odette and Enora turned around to see two people, a man, and a woman, shaking hands. At the woman's feet were a shiny plusle and minun, both holding onto each other. Those two didn't look sad, though. They looked scared.
The man gestured to them, and the minun shook its head. The woman spoke, and they both shook their heads at that time. The man rolled his eyes, and the woman handed him a pokeball. He called the minun back into the ball, pocketed it as he waved to the woman, then turned and walked off as if he'd just bought a jug of milk. The plusle began to hobble after the man before it was also called back to its ball by the woman.
Odette wasn't a crier, but fuck...that sobered her up from her anger haze really fast.
With her eyes wide, she turned back around and sat her arms on the counter. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Enora did the same. They didn't speak to each other for a while.
"Veeeon," Enora whispered after gods know how much time had passed.
"You'd want somebody to do something about it if that was you," Odette said in agreement. Enora nodded once in solidarity.
More silence swelled between them. At that point, Enora's ears had gone totally slack, and she slowly aimed her eyes toward the ground.
"Sylv…" she muttered. "Veee, eeeon. Vee."
With an inward gasp, Odette bristled. Tension filled her shoulders, and she recoiled backward.
"This isn't...like that," she said. Her heartbeat picked up speed, and she could hear it in her ears.
"What happened with Deschamps was...unfortunate. But...this isn't like that. I'm paying attention. Noel's with me. I'm sure to have one of you with me at all times now, too."
"Vee?" Enora asked, finally looking up at her again. The intensity of her look caused Odette to catch her breath in her throat. Her internal rage and sorrow cocktail was quickly replaced by guilt.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I really am...so sorry."
Now, Odette was getting it. Now she understood why Enora was so reluctant. Because she was asking so much of her.
It was one thing to play undercover cop for busting a drug ring, but they had since realized they were dealing with a much bigger problem. Trafficked Pokemon, being bounced around because they can create those demonic Pokemon. It had to have something to do with the drugs yet, but they weren't sure what. But Odette was essentially asking Enora to play the part of one of those trafficked Pokemon so that she could get answers.
This was only exacerbated by the fact that Enora had been there when that happened. Her entire team had, save for Loïc. They'd watched her deteriorate under the trauma, both from the things he did to her and the one thing she did back that caused the news stories, the rumors, the fucking lawsuit…
Odette was asking Enora--and her entire team--to put themselves in a situation where they might watch her get hurt again. Fuck, they might get hurt. Especially Enora.
The anxiety she felt whenever Dorien wrapped his arms around her, or kissed her, or looked at her like he wanted to take her was astronomical. It matched her feelings as those socialites stared at Enora during that uncalled-for bid. Of course, she swallowed it down. She knew she was playing a part, and none of it was real...at least, that's what she told herself. She told herself it was worth having to deal with the unwanted affection and the attention on her shiny Pokemon to be able to get to the bottom of what was happening here. She could do that. But to ask Enora herself to do it too? That was a different story, and in the fervor of her efforts, she'd grown blind to it.
"I am asking...a lot of you," she said. "And I am just so sorry. I'm caught up in my own head and not really thinking about what might be going through yours. Or Isaur's. Or Ange's. Or Solene's. Hell, even Loïc's."
For the first time since they arrived, Enora smiled. It caused Odette to grin, and they chuckled with each other. It was a much-needed break from the heavy.
"But," Odette continued, bringing them back to the topic at hand. "I am really invested in this. More invested than I probably have any business being. Because it's Grandpa, you know? And, that plusle, that minun, the malamar, the scizor...it's all of them too," she said as she gestured behind her, out toward the other despaired shinies.
It wasn't an immediate reaction, but Enora soon nodded.
"And we've found so much already. I can't really afford to forfeit all the time I've sunk into this yet, as much as you don't want to hear it. Things are nefarious, but I don't feel like I'm in danger. Yet."
Enora didn't respond that time.
"So, how about this," she offered. "If things start getting bad. If Dorien gets too handsy, if somebody pulls out a gun, if somebody we converse with dies...I'll pull out. Wipe my hands clean, forget it happened." She dusted her hands off and held them out to her sides. "That's me, though. I...I don't want to involve you if you don't want any part of this. I don't want to make you do something you're that reluctant to do."
Enora's ears perked back up, and she cut her gaze back to Odette, a little wide-eyed now.
"Really. It's okay. And I need to have this talk with Solene too because even she was--"
The bartender finally approached, cleaning out a shot glass, effectively cutting her off.
"Can I get you two anything?" he asked.
"Sparkling water," Odette said.
"Eeon," Enora added.
The bartender nodded and walked off to get it. About a minute of silence later, another presence moved up next to Odette's right side.
"I'll have what she's having," he called to the bartender as he sat down. Odette nearly jumped out of her skin because she immediately recognized the distinct scent of pecha smoke.
She cut her gaze to the right and expectantly found that head of silver and pair of bright blue eyes she'd been hunting for. Heat traveled to her face as Clovis looked back at her with a bright smile, even as he held a lit cigarette between his teeth.
"Fancy seeing you here," he greeted. "I hope you don't mind if I rain on your secluded parade."
She blinked rapidly, hoping that would somehow allow her to come up with a quick response. "I don't mind at all," she said. "I hate to disappoint, though. I'm sticking to non-alcoholic drinks today."
Clovis stifled a laugh as he waved at her dismissively. "Cheers to that," he said. "By the way, that is a lovely color on you."
She peered back down at the frilly pale pink dress she'd dawned on just before her eyes traveled to the pressed pink shirt he wore. There was a neatly folded handkerchief of the same color in his breast pocket; a nice touch. He also wore a pair of bright white pants that were being held up with matching suspender straps, a single ultra ball fixed to the left strap. The white bowtie wrapped the whole ensemble up perfectly--practically a gift bow asking to be pulled open.
Gods...
He looked absolutely adorable, in the most gorgeous type of way. And it only made it better than that pink shirt was somehow almost the same hue as her dress.
"Let me guess. Macy's?" he asked. A hint of mischief flashed in his eyes as he reached up and grasped his cancer stick between his fingers. She legitimately smiled for the first time that day before rolling her eyes.
"No, my high school costume stash cleanout," she replied. "From our production of Hairspray. Dorien said 'tea party' and I figured I had nothing else that suited the scene."
He nodded approvingly as he inhaled a drag from the cigarette. "Well, if you don't mind my boldness, you certainly look dashing again."
Her mind was swimming. Again? Did that mean he thought she looked fine the first time they met? Shit, how did he even remember her from that? Even if they had talked for a while and had dinner together, how many people did this guy talk to a day? A week? How would he have remembered her unless he made a conscious effort to?
Then again, he tried to warn her not to come back. So, perhaps he was looking for her as a result of that?
Gods, she was so caught up in her girl crush that she almost totally forgot that she had reason to be somewhat suspicious of this guy. Now, even more so.
The bartender returned with three glasses of sparkling water and sat them down. Clovis picked his up, nodding in thanks to the man, before quirking a brow at the latter two drinks.
"Thirsty?" he queried. It was there that Enora put her paws up on the counter and peered at him over Odette's shoulder.
"Vee veooonn," she said.
Odette could see the sheer shock that came over Clovis's face, even as she grabbed her own glass and began chugging it. The immediate relief she felt from the bubbly hydration was well worth the wait. She'd nearly finished off the drink entirely before she set it down again.
"Right," she said sheepishly. "I brought somebody new today. This is my friend, Enora. Enora, this is Clovis."
"Sylveeee," Enora said dubiously.
"I guess I forgot to mention she was, uh...shiny. She joined my team willingly, though. I found her digging through my dumpster."
Hopefully, he wouldn't get the wrong idea.
It was a long while before Clovis spoke again. He was evidently too busy cutting his eyes back and forth between Odette and Enora. Odette could practically hear his brain working, and she nearly cringed. She watched him pull the cigarette out of his mouth and drink from his glass.
"Funny," he said just after he swallowed his gulp. "I could have sworn by our conversation that you wouldn't get involved with something like this."
Fuck, she thought angrily.
She held up a defensive hand. "I'm not."
He set his glass down and then leaned his cheek on his hand. "Oh, really? How have your bids been today, then?"
"Haven't hosted any, and I don't plan to."
He flexed the corners of his lips, mulling the words over. He put the cigarette back in his mouth and took another drag before blowing the smoke up toward the gazebo ceiling.
"I was a tad shocked to see you here after my warning the other night, but now it's starting to make some more sense to me," he muttered.
The anger she'd managed to wade through previously was starting to flare back up again. She wasn't quite sure why, though. She knew where his head was, and it, of course, made sense. She supposed she was getting so upset because she couldn't bear the thought of this man she liked so much viewing her in such a negative light. Right?
This...this is real bullshit.
"Whatever you're thinking, I can assure you it's not true," she said as evenly as she could manage.
"What do you think I'm thinking?" He quirked a brow again. This time, it was a tad bit more serious.
"Commoner trainer who got incredibly lucky wants to figure out how to push that luck. Rest assured, it's not like that," she shot back.
"Sylveon!" Enora yipped. The suddenness of her outburst caused Odette to turn around to face her. Enora now wore a look of determination--like she also wanted to make it clear that Clovis's current assumptions were wrong.
"Then, what's your angle? It all seems pretty straightforward."
A nasty glare fell over her features as she looked back over at him. Her angered lips detached from her brain and began to run before she could think it over. "I could ask you the same thing, Clovis. What's a shut-in like you doing figure skate--"
She wanted to cover her mouth. She wanted to stop herself from asking such a pointed question like that. However, she needn't have bothered. Hands covered her mouth before she could finish talking, but they weren't hers.
It all happened so fast. She was talking, and the next thing she knew, Clovis was almost entirely out of his chair, lunging forward to press his hands over her mouth. She wasn't sure when he'd grabbed the handkerchief, but it was dangling between his fingers as he held it over her lips.
She blinked once, twice, three times before angling her eyes up toward him. He stared down at her with that same panic he held in his eyes when he'd accidentally dropped that hint on her the first time. This time, however, it was lingering.
He looked over toward a man who happened to be walking by and smiled. "No worries, she just cut her lip a little bit," he assured. The guy seemed to accept that explanation because he walked off. As he left, Clovis's expression morphed back into that same panicked look as he sat down and removed one hand from her mouth.
"Take the handkerchief," he said in a whisper. But, what struck her is that he said it in Galarian. She considered it, before doing as he instructed. He sighed in what sounded to be a relief as he removed his other hand and sat back down.
"Great, you understood," he said. Those words were in Galarian too.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "My Galarian is pretty good," she said, following his lead with the language switch. She didn't quite like how thick her accent sounded around the words, but she knew she could speak it well. "I'm also really good at not letting my screw-ups show on my face."
He laughed, though it sounded rather rancorous. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and snuffed it out on an ashtray that happened to be on the counter. He then chugged what was left of his water before slamming the glass back down. He clearly did it more aggressively than he intended because the 'BANG' that rang out made him flinch.
"Gods," he seethed through clenched teeth. "I know better. I really do know better."
"Undercover cops have blown their cover for less," she said quietly before lowering the handkerchief to her lap.
"I'm sure you would know, Miss Cinq-Mars. Your grandfather has been on the police force for years."
Her stomach dropped. The silence that followed compelled him to keep talking.
"Since you clarified that you did your research, I thought I'd return the favor."
She brought her hand to her face and began to scratch her cheek as she turned to lean her elbows on the bar. From the corner of her eye, she could see Clovis do the same.
She wondered how she should word her next question. She knew what a search for her name would bring up and wondered what exactly he found. If he was anywhere as thorough as she was…
"And?" she asked.
He released a huff as he began to tap his fingers on the granite. "The subject matter was less than savory, and I can bet my fortune it's not something you want to discuss with me."
She knew for sure she wasn't breathing normally at this point. She felt Enora place her paw on her hand and sent her a quiet nod.
"How'd you even research me without my last name?" she asked.
He didn't immediately respond, but when he did, he was quite sharp with his tone. "I had a name, a face, and I knew you danced. It was a process of elimination, but I had the resources to figure it out," he explained.
She supposed with a billion dollars on hand, it was just that easy. She wanted to be upset, but how could she when she had a literal packet of information on him in her backpack? But why would he research her at all? Was it because he knew his slip-up and wanted to know how to keep her from squealing?
For some reason, she felt as if she was up shit's creek without a paddle. How was she supposed to maneuver this?
"I know you're supposed to be a shut-in who's helping your dad Charles run the Clair De Lune group. You also have a lot of fucking siblings," she said.
He hummed to himself for a while, then scoffed. "Just to correct you from earlier, I'm not a cop," he said.
"Right, you're actually a figure skater," she responded, barely loud enough to be heard.
She heard him exhale sharply. "Anything else?"
"Nothing, really. Not right now, anyway."
"I'm going to ask you again," he said after a beat of silence. There was a sternness in his tone that made her blood run cold. "What's your angle?"
She racked her brain for how she felt she could answer this. From her conversation with Noel just several days before, she'd had her share of hypotheses, and she'd been solely convinced that Clovis had something to do with Virtue Corp. She didn't have a lot to run with on that account, but it seemed likely, given the other pieces they'd put together.
Of course, there was still the chance that he was simply a rich person who vehemently opposed the shiny trade, but given that he'd gone out of his way to research her knowing he said something he shouldn't have said, her first hypothesis was looking more and more probable. If he was trying just to hide an aspect of his past, there's no way he'd go as far as to internet stalk her too. If it were her, she'd just deny it. Clovis apparently had more to hide, and that was all too clear.
"Figuring out what the fuck the shiny trade is. And where sacrilege is coming from," she said. Maybe she could appeal to the fact that they were on the same page concerning their hate for this institution.
He leaned back and crossed his arms, ducking his chin toward his chest as if he were sinking into deep thought. She decided that it'd be a good idea for her to wrap her thoughts up, lest she accidentally say too much.
"So whatever you're thinking? It's wrong. My intentions are good."
He didn't move or give any acknowledgment of her words. At least, not until a snicker jolted his shoulders. Shaking his head, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a carton of cigarettes. In a couple of motions, he seemed to have it down to a science, the stick was lit between his teeth. He then shot a look not at her but at Enora. He then gazed out over the garden, and Odette followed his look. Her eyes fell back on the woman who split up the plusle and minun, and she had half a mind to walk over there and punch her square in the jaw. The level of heartlessness was astronomical, she still couldn't fathom it.
"I believe you," Clovis suddenly declared, turning back around and resting his arms on the table.
Odette shot a look at him. "You do?" There was no goddamn way it was that easy.
"Veeeee?" Enora chimed in.
With a few nods, he met her gaze as he exhaled some smoke. "I'm sure you've seen it. All these mini-auctions?" he asked. "Just the other day, at another one of these parties, I watched a man auction off a phantump to somebody. He later pulled out a pumpkaboo and the thing had no idea where her friend went. The look on her face when she realized was just--" he raised his hand to cut himself off and shook his head despairingly. "It's fucking haunting."
"I just watched someone split up a plusle and minun pair," Odette said numbly.
Clovis exhaled sharply, and he took a deep drag. "Exactly," he said. "The people here do not care about their Pokemon. They care about the money that comes in from the trade, and..."
"...the things that come out of them."
Clovis sent her a hard, piercing look. "Sort of, yes." Another drag from the cigarette. He'd sucked it down almost halfway. "The point I'm trying to make," he said as he exhaled. He opened his mouth to continue but just shook his head as he moved his gaze to Enora.
"Do you even want to be here?" he asked. "Be honest. With me and yourself."
Odette also looked over to the sylveon, also eager to hear that answer. They hadn't had the chance to round out that discussion before the bartender approached.
Enora's ears drooped for a moment, and her shoulders tensed as she realized she was in the spotlight again. She averted her eyes away, and just when Odette thought she would remain silent, she spoke.
"Sylveon," Enora said sternly.
It was Odette's turn to widen her eyes, and Enora turned to meet her gaze.
She nodded again. Firmly. Absolutely.
She was in.
"Veee! Eeon!"
Odette resisted the urge to throw her arms around Enora, instead settling to place her hand on her head.
"Somebody kept asking me if I'd be willing to sell her earlier," she explained. "It made me ill."
"Sylv," Enora said.
"Well," Clovis said. "No shiny Pokemon would choose to be here like this unless they really cared. She's here for you." Another drag from the cigarette. "And you wouldn't be repulsed by the idea of selling her like a stock unless you cared for her too."
Her anxiety subsided, and she felt significantly less screwed than she had just a few minutes before.
"I believe you. And...I apologize for jumping a gun."
She shrugged and shook her head, trying to appear as if she were mostly unfazed. "No harm done."
The pained smile he gave her said otherwise, and she understood why.
"Since we seem to be on the same page, though...do you trust me enough to answer some questions?" she pressed.
Clovis sighed very deeply at that. "Surely. I have some myself," he said. "And I propose we answer each other's questions sooner rather than later. But not here." He looked over his shoulder, and she decided to do the same.
"So, may I request that we put a pin in this?" he queried.
"I don't think I have a choice. I share your sentiment that this isn't the place," she said. "Though, how do I know you won't play dumb if I try to run you down again?"
She heard him suck his teeth as he turned his head to face her again. She took that as an invitation to look at him as well, but his eyes were aimed down at the table. Thinking again, most likely.
"Do you have your phone on you?" As Clovis spoke, he was digging into his pocket again. He withdrew the same Applin phone he'd dunked in the vase at the gala. The thing had to have been waterproof because he clicked it on, and it appeared to be working.
"Uh, yeah," Odette said. She reached into the pocket of her skirt and withdrew her own phone. She'd barely gotten it out before Clovis abruptly handed her his. She could see that he'd gone ahead and opened the 'New Contact' menu on it.
"Quickly now," he said.
It might have been a mix of that dumb girl crush and the sheer shock that he was so willing to exchange contacts, but she didn't stall a single second. She snatched the device and punched in her number and name, probably a little more eagerly than she intended to. Upon saving it, she gave it back to him. Clovis tapped the screen several times, and RotomPhone buzzed a second later.
"Bzzt! New text from New Contact: Clovis LeClair!" he said.
"There," Clovis said. "Now you have my number and a written confirmation that we've spoken."
He stood and placed the phone back in his pocket. "We'll be in touch." He switched back to speaking Kalosian, and he went ahead and bowed to her.
"It was a pleasure speaking again, Miss Cinq-Mars. I must go make my rounds now, but I'll keep my eye out for you. Keep the handkerchief."
He winked, then walked into the nearby crowd as if nothing had happened. She watched him go, blinking as if she were again watching some sort of mirage fade from view. She exchanged shocked looks with Enora before fumbling to unlock her phone to view the message.
On this day, 1/20/20, Clovis LeClair and Odette Cinq-Mars spoke at a tea party. Clovis and Odette promised to answer each other's questions at a later date.
She read the message over and over again. When he said written proof, he really meant it.
"Veeeeon?" Enora asked.
"I don't know," Odette said. "I think that worked out. But I'll believe it when I see it."
"Sylveon. Sylv."
She nodded. "Yeah, we definitely should go find them. Noel is going to flip out."
She still wasn't quite sure how to feel about the interaction that just went down. She'd need some time to dissect it, but she felt good about it for now. Her warm feelings for him aside, what just happened felt trustworthy to her now. If he were trying to evade her, he might not have even offered his phone for her number in the first place.
So many questions, but not enough answers. But, at least, she could cling to the hope that she'd get them answered. She also felt proud of herself for managing to snag his number. Of course, it wasn't in the way she was hoping, but she'd call it a win, all things considered.
"...vveeeeeeeeeon," Enora said sheepishly.
Odette frowned, then scratched her behind the ear again. "It's okay. Like I said, I think that worked out."
"Sylveon? Syl?"
"For now, I'm inclined to believe he can be of some assistance. There are too many factors pointing to him being at least somewhat truthful, and that's more than what we have now."
That was one thing she at least momentarily didn't have to fret about. The other issue at hand, though...
She sent Enora a wary look. "Are you sure about this? I don't want you to feel compelled to take part in this if you don't want to. That almost defeats the point, you know?"
Enora pawed her ear in a quick swipe before firmly shaking her head. She sat tall and puffed out her chest. "Sylveon. Syyyylvee," she announced. Odette couldn't help but smile at the display. That time, she allowed herself to go in for the hug.
"I mean it, though. You can cry 'uncle' whenever you want, and I won't blame you," Odette said quietly. "For real, okay?"
"Vee."
Odette released her hold and sat back, feeling just slightly more triumphant. A welcome sensation gave the day she had so far.
"Let's go find Noel, then."
***
Odette weaved along the gravel trails. She'd wanted to walk by the lake, but many people seemed to be down there blatantly ignoring the "Beware of Gyarados!" signs positioned all around the perimeter. None of them appeared to care, though. She wondered if there had ever been an attack at a gathering like this. Trainers frequented those waters a lot, but did the gyarados go after people on land?
Her mind began to wander as she started to imagine herself in a situation of an attack, and her gaze traveled over to Enora, who was in front of her, walking along with Vullaby on her back. It'd been a while since she'd been involved in a battle with a wild Pokemon, but she supposed it wouldn't be anything she couldn't handle.
"Well. Your impulsivity paid off. Now you're in with the billionaire," Noel said, snapping her back to reality. She looked over at him as he handed her back her phone, an approving look on his face.
She shrugged as she took it, sliding it into her pocket next to Clovis's handkerchief. "He just started to piss me off, and I ran my mouth."
"And you stumped him enough to get him to admit it, at least indirectly. This is big," Noel said.
Another couple who happened to be taking a walk around the bushes too walked by, sending her and Noel polite nods as they went. She returned the gesture and only responded when she was sure they'd gone out of earshot.
"It's something. I'm still thinking about how this is supposed to go down," she said under her breath.
"From what I've seen in the movies, he's going to invite you to an empty, abandoned warehouse and try to harvest your kidneys," Noel said as he ran his hands through his slicked-back hair.
"That's not funny," Odette breathed.
"Of course it's not, and it's not going to happen because wherever he invites you to, you're going to bring me and Enora, right?"
At the sound of her name, Enora turned around and smiled. Vullaby chirped as well.
"I definitely wouldn't want to leave you out of the fun," she chuckled. Especially now that Enora was at least tentatively on board. "And I'm obviously not dumb enough to walk off with a virtual stranger when we're investigating something criminal."
She looked over her shoulder, ensuring they were still a ways away from others as she spoke. The more they freely talked about this, the more anxious she felt herself becoming. Any one of these present snobs could have been listening in.
"Just making sure your formal police academy training wasn't for naught," Noel giggled, kicking a rock aside. His shoe scraped against the gravel, kicking some dust up in the process.
Odette kept her eyes peeled on the distant crowd, and she narrowed them as if that would somehow allow her to see better through the glasses on her face. She eventually caught sight of Dorien standing with Denis, Colin, Adam, and Lionel. As if fate wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, their eyes locked as soon as she noticed him, and he waved excitedly at her.
The smile she formed was bitter as she lazily returned it. Noel noticed her waving and followed her eyes. Upon noticing Dorien, he also began to wave, which was enough to get it to stop. Dorien abruptly dropped his hand and turned to converse with one of the other men. Colin, on the other hand, began to wave, thus prompting Noel to stop.
"Gods, not you," Noel groused.
"Why are you so mean to him? I mean, not that it matters because he's here," Odette mused, "but I didn't remember him being an ass to you."
"He wasn't," Noel said, something far more solemn caressing his tone. "He's an absolute sweetheart, the shiny trade shit aside. This is why I need to be assertive and clear that I'm not interested."
Odette's brow quirked. She knew Noel had his "commitment issues," but something about that seemed...extreme. But she had no room to be skeptical. She was no dating expert. Whatever worked for Noel would work for her.
"I'm more concerned with your man not liking me. I seem to have done a good job on that front," he smirked.
"Lucky you," Odette said. "Maybe you won't get invited to our wedding."
Eyes wide, Noel whipped back around to face her. "Who said anything about a wedding?"
"Oh, you didn't hear? Apparently, it's something he's thinking about. He'd be able to 'die happy' if he could call me his wife," she said sharply.
"Hell no," Noel spat. "You and I are getting married for the tax benefits before I let you meet that bitch at the end of the aisle."
That got a laugh out of her, and she absolutely needed it. She leaned her head against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his. "My knight in shining armor," she said, feigning a shrill voice. He chuckled and took that as an invitation to wrap his arm around her shoulders.
"I wonder how Denis is dealing with those flagrant ass comments. I think it'd be funny to see them go at it," Noel snickered.
She furrowed her brow, picking her head off his shoulder to peer up at him. "Why would Dorien and Denis go at it?"
Noel sent her a playfully puzzled look. "Denis had a thing for you too, didn't he? Some jealous fighting between rich boys might make this more bearable."
"What the hell are you going on about? Denis never had a thing for me," she scoffed, fully confused. Noel looked positively taken aback. Like he was about to shake some sense into her.
"He asked you out twice."
"Huh?" She felt she would have recalled something like that, and yet, she was drawing blanks. "If he did, I definitely don't remember."
"Really? I could have sworn he did," Noel said. He seemed to relent because he shook his head in defeat. "But maybe I'm all screwed up by this sleuthing shit. Or you're just cold and are good at putting that shit out of your head."
"I do classify myself as pretty chilly."
I wouldn't forget that, she assured herself. But it was starting to feel like a false statement. Forgetting about Dorien's occupation, and now apparently forgetting Denis of all people had also had a thing for her? Did she really put that much of her secondary school days out of her head?
"What does it matter, though? They're both off the table. I bequeath you to the silver delphox, anyway," Noel said.
That was something better to think about. She rolled her eyes as she smirked. "But you think he's going to harvest my kidneys."
Noel began to shake his head. "Nah, he looked at you like he was going to melt when we sat down for dinner the other night. He obviously thinks you're too pretty to cut into."
"What are you going on about now?"
"See, this is why we're friends, Dee." He pinched her nose with his free hand, causing her to thrash her head to shake him off. "You pick up on everything but the flirting, and that's where I'm holding your slack."
Her expression didn't change. "Again, I ask. What the fuck are you going on about now?"
Noel dramatically rolled his eyes. "He was flirting with you so goddamn hard at the table, I thought I was going to explode and ask him for his number for you," he said through a laugh.
This was news to her. While Noel certainly had a point, flirting was not her forte, she never once got the vibe that him talking to her was him trying to flirt. They were just...talking about her dancing. And he was telling her about things he knew about the wealthy, perhaps things he probably shouldn't have told a stranger such as herself…
Gods, was that flirting? Maybe it wasn't shocking she'd forgotten being asked out twice, this was clearly not her forte.
Her face had morphed into a more contemplative expression, and Noel laughed heartily. He wriggled his arm out of her grasp and moved behind her, setting his hands on her shoulders to give her a half-hearted massage.
"Sweet, sweet, summer child Odette," he sang. She reached back and smacked him on his wrist.
"I don't do this dating thing, ass," she said. "Especially not now."
"Nothing's stopping you from window shopping, and you can't go wrong with the richest guy in the garden," Noel suggested.
While she listened to him talk, her eyes started to wander again. She didn't dare look back in the direction she saw Dorien and the other Lansat boys, lest she unintentionally beckoned them over. Instead, she was hunting for silver again. She thanked her lucky stars Clovis had decided to dye his hair such a ridiculous color because she found him easily among the sea of blonde, brunette, and black.
He was standing by a couple of other men, smoking yet another cigarette. His mouth moved as if he were talking, and his lips slowly but surely began to morph into a smile as his shoulders started to shake.
Gods, he even made laughing look dreamy. She didn't even know what the hell was so funny, and she felt the urge to giggle with him.
"I mean, fuck. Look at him," Noel said. "Honestly, I'd let him harvest my kidneys. I bet I could make him have a bisexual awakening if I tried hard enough."
"I thought you said I could have him?"
"That's why I said bisexual instead of gay. We can share."
Odette formed a joking comeback but was interrupted by a shrill roar coming from the lake, followed by some surprised gasps and screams. She looked at Noel before rushing around the rosebush she was standing next to get a view of the lake. The sight of a gyarados rearing its head up out of the water, close to the bank, and near a group of people. Some of them scrambled back, but others actually lingered close. There was a distinct sound of laughter in the air now.
"So much for beware of the gyarados," Noel said, an air of disgust in his voice. "Bet they're going to make their poor shinies fight."
Odette had gotten a similar thought, and she didn't like the prospects of that. If any of the present shinies were as tired as the malamar and scizor had been, that wouldn't end well.
A man stepped forward from the small crowd. Heavyset, bald, suit didn't look like it fit well. He raised what she thought was a pokeball, and brought his thumb to his face.
"Desmocula, let's have some fun!" he shouted. The ball opened in a pop of maroon light, and he bit down on his thumb in the same manner Odette had seen Mr. and Mrs. Patenaude do during their battle.
"No fucking way," Noel said. He took the words right out of her mouth.
In another otherworldly show, a demonic Pokemon reared its head. This one didn't look like a fish or a leech. This one closely resembled a bat. Its ears were bigger than its head, and its fangs, dripping with a black substance, protruded from its jaw. Its wings were long, sporting a deep black color. They almost reminded Odette of a cape a vampire would wear. As soon as the monster had fully formed, it launched itself at the gyarados, with a shriek that made her flinch.
"S...sy-sylv?" Enora queried. Her voice broke, most likely from the sheer bombshell she was witnessing. Even Vullaby looked surprised.
"Remember those Pokemon Isaur and I told you about?" Odette said. "Safe to assume that's one."
The heavyset man wasn't even calling out any moves. He was just letting the horrific bat go to town on the serpent. They were matched in size, but it looked like Desmocula was faster. Every time the gyarados tried to whip it with its tail or go in for a bite, the bat was one step ahead. It zipped and zig-zagged around, landing violent nip after heavy slap, and it wasn't long before the gyarados as wobbling in exhaustion.
"Vullaaa?" Vullaby squeaked, pointing toward the fight. Noel bristled at the words.
"Good point," he said. He scrambled for his phone. "Why didn't we film the ones we saw before?"
It was an immediate lightbulb moment, and Odette dug into her pocket for her own phone. She'd been too shocked the first time to think of anything but the battle she was witnessing, but now, with a little more clearness, why wouldn't she try to film this? She wasn't sure what she could do with it, but she'd figure that out later. This was damning evidence, so as long as she didn't make it clear what she was up to. Surely the wealthy had a "no cameras allowed" rule regarding these things, considering what a secret it is.
"That's weird," Noel said, tapping his phone screen aggressively. "It's telling me my camera app's disabled here."
Odette frowned as she powered on her phone. She didn't put it past Noel to overuse his phone memory, so that had to be the problem. Luckily, she barely used her camera, so she had plenty of room. She tapped on the app, and positioned herself to start filming by angling herself behind Noel so nobody directly to his left could see her.
"Bzzzzzt. Sorry, Odette. Camera's not working," RotomPhone said.
"What? What do you mean?" she asked. "I have no memory usage. How is it not working?
"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt. Dunno! I just can't pull it up. Something's blocking me from accessing it. Bzzzzt!"
Her mouth gaped as she returned attention to the one-sided battle. The gyarados looked like a ragdoll now, but Desmocula was still going at it.
"That doesn't make any sense."
She tried to dwell on it some more, but her focus sunk into the battle upon noticing that the gyarados fell completely limp. A knockout.
Wait...no. The bat wasn't stopping. The gyarados was not fighting back, and Desmocula was still ripping into it.
"Stop," she muttered, somehow hoping that would end the battle. "It's done. What are you doing?"
Nothing happened. The "battle" continued, and blood began filling the water. What made it worse was that she could hear the heavyset man laughing.
"Keep it up, Desmocula! No mercy!"
"Mercy's gone, he's killing it," Odette said loudly. Her lower back started to prickle, and it picked up intensity faster than it usually did. She looked at Noel, who just looked clueless. He was as lost on what to do as she was.
Desmocula went in for another attack, and in a swift bite, it tore off one of the gyarados' whiskers. It didn't even flinch.
She couldn't take it anymore. She'd been walking around despondent Pokemon all day and witnessing the worst of the worst of mankind. She could no longer sit by and watch this happen. Her anger was bubbling over into a violent froth.
Before considering her options, she was already halfway toward the bank.
"Stop! It fainted! You're done!" she bellowed, stomping up to the overweight man. He apparently didn't hear her because he looked surprised when she got to him and grabbed him by the fabric of his sleeve.
"Call that thing back," she seethed. "You're gonna kill it!"
"Bah!" the man spat, swatting at her. "Get away, little one. You don't know what you're fuckin' talkin' about. One less gyarados won't kill anybody, ya know?"
He turned back around, and Odette's vision swam. Without a moment's hesitation, she lunged for the Pokeball in his hand.
"Hey!" he yelped. "I said keep back!"
He wrestled with her, and Odette discovered that there was indeed strength between all that fat. In a single push, he sent her stumbling backward. The force of her head and back hitting the grass knocked the wind out of her, and she coughed violently.
"I should press charges for harassment, you fuckin' bitch. Let me do my thing, and you crawl back from where ya came and do yours."
He stomped back to watch the fight, leaving Odette struggling to recollect herself.
She'd been trying so hard all day to keep it together. She'd been trying so hard to keep herself in control. She dealt with kissing Dorien, discussing marriage with him, getting lectured by Clovis, and watching the shiny trade function. The day had been hell on earth, and she'd managed to keep herself under control and act the part just to find just a smidge of information.
All of that was out the window now. As she pushed herself to sit up, all she could see was red. She reached for a rock.
I'll fucking teach you to push me.
She forced herself to stand and reared back to peg it right at the back of his bald head. However, she was stopped from doing so by that same demonic screech.
"AAAHREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
She looked back up to see the abomination flying back toward the bank. It had left the gyarados floating lifeless on the lake. It landed with a harsh 'thump' on the grass, and the man extended his arms and flexed the pokeball toward it.
"Desmocula, return--"
The man was cut off by the twisted bat pushing him aside, sending him flying to the side. Odette watched in a mix of surprise and delight as he rolled away. However, the surprise and delight were short-lived when she looked back toward the Pokemon and saw it glaring toxic daggers at her. Tarry saliva drilled to the ground as Desmocula crouched low, growling dangerously.
Odette tensed, her anger subsiding and morphing into fear. That fear grew in size as the demon took a step toward her. Instinctively, she stepped backward, dropping the rock, and that was apparently the only invite Desmocula needed. With a hiss, it lunged.
It all happened in an instant. As the giant bat terror flew toward her, an intense ringing filled her ears, quickly becoming so deafening that she could hear nothing else--not the snarl of Desmocula, or the screams of the onlookers. All sound was absorbed in the ringing, and she could do nothing but cover her head.
Then, it was like something took over. Pure, undiluted fury--unlike she'd ever felt before--engulfed her whole being, and she suddenly felt like she was on fire. But the fire was...empowering? She suddenly felt energized, strong, and almost...good?
However, this will wasn't her own. Her conscious thoughts still managed to break through.
While all she wanted to do was cover her head, something invisible compelled her to stand upright and look this thing in the face. As she stood upright and opened her eyes, she found that she could only see from her left, as the right had gone dark.
...what the fuck is happ--
Her thoughts and the ringing were abruptly interrupted by her own voice.
Desmocula winced in pain and fell onto its side, writhing and barking as if it were being attacked. It whined in agony as it scrambled back onto all-fours, scurried back toward the heavyset man, then disappeared into the pokeball he'd dropped in a flash of maroon light.
The silence that now lingered was tense. The ringing had gone, and Odette was left with the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears and her breathing picking up intensity. Her eyes remained locked on that pokeball as she searched her brain for an explanation of what had just happened.
That...was her voice. But it wasn't. It sounded like her, but it sounded distorted. Like it was being broadcasted through a weak radio station. Even more so, what had that done to that Pokemon?
Blinking, she very quickly became aware of how heavy she felt. She felt like she wasn't getting enough air, and her head quickly fogged up. She could also feel tears streaming down her face on the left side. When had she started crying?
She was panting now, and her legs began to wobble. Nonetheless, she still found the energy to raise her hand to her cheek and hastily wipe the tears away. But, as she moved her hand away from h face, she saw a speck of deep red. She examined her hand and found that her fingers had been coated in blood.
Everything went black after that.
***
"O? Dee? Hey, come on back! Follow the sound of my voice!"
"Step back, give her some air. Somebody get her some water!
"On it."
"Syyylveon! Sylve!"
Odette groaned, and she tried to force her eyes open as she rocked her head from side to side. She felt the grass rustle beneath her as she did and a set of hands on her cheeks, lightly patting her back to consciousness.
"That's it! Hey buddy. Open your eyes and look at me." That was definitely Noel. She could barely make out his silhouette as her eyes adjusted to the light. With a few blinks, she could see his worried yet smiling face.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, madlad," he laughed. "You scared me."
"Noel...what...?"
"You fainted. That Pokemon lunged at you, and you passed out," he explained. He ran his finger over her cheekbone. "Don't know when the hell it cut you in the damn eye, though."
She continued to blink the involuntary sleep away, bringing her hand to her face to rub her eyes. She was startled yet again to find more blood coming from her left, and it was enough to get her to sit up on her own.
"Easy, easy. Go slow, give your brain a second to recuperate."
A hand fell against her lower back, and turning her head in the direction it felt like it was coming from, she saw it was none other than Clovis. He grinned nervously when their eyes met, gripping her shoulder with his other hand.
"Hi, there," he greeted. "Do you know who I am?"
She nodded dazedly. "You're Clovis. I'm Odette. We're in a garden," she said flatly.
He pursed his lips, looking somewhat impressed. "Alright, that's a fantastic sign."
"Veeeeeon!"
Odette moved her attention to Enora, who had crawled into her lap and stared up at her with worried eyes. Odette placed a hand on her head and thumbed her forehead. "I'm awake. I'm awake. Not going anywhere..."
She trailed off just in time for Dorien to jog up, holding a full glass of water. He kneeled in front of her.
"Good, good, you're sitting up. Here, drink," he said, panting. He held the water out to her, and she took it steadily, carefully. She wanted to ensure she'd regained full motor function before she went about snatching things from people.
She wordlessly chugged the water, which did wonders in restoring her to her usual headspace. She no longer felt clouded and tired and instead felt like she could stand. So, she did.
"Whoa, are you sure this is a good idea?" Noel asked, holding his arms out to catch her if she fell. She only stumbled but caught her balance rather quickly.
"I'm good," Odette assured him as she nodded to herself. That was very far from the truth regarding her mental state, but she at least felt like she could drive her motorcycle home now, and that's all she wanted to do. She wanted to get out of here and away from whatever she just bore witness to.
What did I do?
"I think we can go now. I'm ready to go."
"No shot you're operating a bike after just fainting. I'll go call us a Lyft, and we'll come back and get the motorcycle tomorrow," Noel insisted.
"I can drive you home if you'd like?" Dorien offered.
Noel shot him a playfully rancorous grin. "Thaaaaaanks, sweetie, but I think we're good. I got this."
At least Noel could offhandedly curve Dorien without much consequence. It must have been nice.
Clovis interjected into the exchange by raising his hand. "I get free ride share, actually. Let me call it for you," he offered.
Noel looked at him thoughtfully, then clapped his hands together. "I'll take you up on that, good sir."
"My phone's charging at the bar, come on," Clovis said, motioning for Noel to follow him back toward the bar. As they walked away, Odette could hear Clovis telling people to clear out. Odette had been so caught up in her own head that she didn't even notice that there had been a semi-large crowd of patrons gathered around, including the more familiar faces, and they began to dissipate upon Clovis's insistence. That only left her alone with Dorien, and she huffed to herself. She couldn't make any remarks before he had his arms around her.
"Sorry, I--" she started to say.
"Odette," he cut her off.
The raw tension in his voice was jarring. She stiffened her shoulders with a start, and her tired expression turned to something more concerned as she looked up at him. She was jarred for the second time around upon seeing how wildly he was staring at her. His eyes were shining with a harsh mix of seriousness and that malice he seemed to have on standby. It might have been the lasting effects of fainting, or the confusion from what just happened, but she felt an immediate sense of panic.
"Dorien, what are you--?" she tried to ask, leaning away from him, but he jolted her back toward him.
"I need you to tell me how you just did that," he said.
She lowered her brows. There was absolutely no way for her to correctly compute that question because it made no sense to her. "How I did what? What are you talking about? Fainting?"
"No, no, no, no," he said. He sounded like he was on the verge of yelling. "How you hurt Desmocula. How did you do that? You need to tell me."
This was the first time her flight-or-fight senses came to full fruition. Her brain settled on fight because she couldn't run with him on her like this.
"What are you going on about?" she said frantically, leaning her full body weight backward and digging her heel into the ground, allowing herself leverage to push him off of her. However, he was adamant that he not let her go because his grip on her hips tightened. So much so that it actually hurt.
"Don't lie to me. I saw what you did," he said. "I won't tell anybody. You just need to talk to me about it."
Her breathing picked up speed, and with whatever might she could muster, she pushed him off. "Stop grabbing me like that," she yelled.
"Sylveon!" Enora barked in unison.
It was the volume of her voice that finally caused him to let go. When they parted, Enora moved into the space between them and began to arch her back ferociously, now dead set on attacking if need be. Not long after, Clovis and Noel come jogging back over. Clovis walked toward Dorien first before looking over at Odette.
"What's going on here?" he asked. "Are we good?'
Dorien huffed, then adjusted his coat. That frantic expression flew off his face, only to be replaced with one of concern. It was that damn easy for him. "All is fine. I think she's still a little confused."
"Confused about what?" Noel inquired, walking up next to Odette and slinging his arm around her shoulders.
Meanwhile, Odette parted her lips to scream an insult but found she wasn't getting enough air anymore. As her breathing sped up, it seemed her lungs shrunk. She was quickly reduced to a panting mess, and whatever heat she'd felt in that moment of strength against Desmocula was long gone. Now, she just felt cold.
"Hey, are you okay?" Clovis asked. He walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder again, and Dorien was at his heels.
"Wait, she's pale," Dorien said, his voice rising. "Doll, are you okay? Do you need more water?"
The words formed in her head, but she couldn't speak. She could only focus on breathing. She felt she might suffocate if she stopped for any reason.
Why is this happening now? she thought as some newfound panic began to set in. This is the last thing that needs to happen now, no, no no, I need to be focused...
In a flash of movement, Noel was now in front of her. He ran his hands over her shoulders, trying to generate warmth. "Dee has a history of hypotension. This is one hundred percent an episode; somebody needs to call an ambulance," he instructed calmly.
"Wait, hypotension is...low blood pressure? You can have low blood pressure episodes?" Dorien wondered.
"Yes. Call the fucking paramedics," Noel raised his voice.
"Cancelling the ride, calling," Clovis said. He had his phone in his hand now, and with a few timed taps, he was holding it to his ear.
She wanted to focus on him and his silver hair, but her vision fogged along with her head, and she suddenly couldn't stand it anymore. She lowered herself to the ground, aided by Noel and soon Enora, when she got closer to the grass.
"You're good. All's good," Noel said, still rubbing his shoulders. He was beaming at her, but his eyes weren't crinkled with the smile. "Focus on your breathing, keep your eyes on me, alright?"
Her blood pressure had always been an issue, but bad drops like this were few and far between. Why an episode started now, she'd never know. Karma for not helping that waiter the other night?
Or...what if it had something to do with that voice she'd just heard? That voice that was hers but wasn't. The way it was the thing that scared that Pokemon off. The way Dorien wanted so badly to know what it was when she didn't even know herself.
She was by no means looking forward to the ambulance ride she was in for, and she definitely wasn't looking forward to the IV drip that undoubtedly had her name on it by now.
But, if it got her the hell away from Dorien for the time being, at least until she could think clearly, she'd suck it up.
"What a darling sylveon! We don't see many of the eons around here," a woman said. "Is she for sale today?"
"I don't plan to sell her," Odette said quickly, resisting the urge to curse the bitch out. She pushed through an airy laugh like she'd observed some of the other socialites doing as they spoke.
"That's a shame. Sylveons, espeons, and umbreons are really difficult to find. They don't evolve with stones, you know?" the woman said, swishing her wine around in its glass. "What evolution coercion service did you use to get her to evolve? I've never seen one successfully put out a sylveon!"
Odette started blinking. She must have looked like a deerling in headlights because she had no idea what this lady was talking about.
"I..." she stuttered. "This might be a silly question, but what's a coercion service?"
The woman placed a hand over her heart. "Oh, my apologies, sweetheart. You're new around here," she said. "They're just services that get some of our lovely Pokemon who don't evolve with stones and other knickknacks to evolve. To fetch a higher price and whatnot!"
She gasped. "Wow, things like that exist? I went out of my way to get her to evolve myself!"
Odette was acutely aware of Enora's presence at her side, and it physically pained her to allow herself to say those words.
It's an act.
A convincing act at that because some of the patrons began to laugh.
"That's impressive. Are you sure she isn't for sale? I'm very interested," that same woman said.
Odette started to shake her head more aggressively than she meant to. She instinctively extended her leg slightly, trying to metaphorically block this lady from looking at Enora like she was something to covet. "No, I think I'm going to pass."
"I'd give you €1.5 billion for her."
"Well, I'd do €2 billion!" somebody else chimed in almost immediately as if they were waiting for a price to get thrown out.
Before Odette knew it, various numbers were being screamed at her, monetary amounts she never thought she'd have directed at her in her lifetime. Women raised their comically tiny parasols, and the men tipped their bowler hats and waved their decorative canes. The commotion caused a sense of panic to swell within her, and she was suddenly conflicted about what to do. She needed to stand her ground, but she didn't want to subject Enora to this horror. Odette just wanted to pick her up, run, and never look back.
She tried to dwell on it some more, but her focus sunk into the battle upon noticing that the gyarados fell completely limp. A knockout.
Wait...no. The bat wasn't stopping. The gyarados was not fighting back, and Desmocula was still ripping into it.
"Stop," she muttered, somehow hoping that would end the battle. "It's done. What are you doing?"
Nothing happened. The "battle" continued, and blood began filling the water. What made it worse was that she could hear the heavyset man laughing.
"Keep it up, Desmocula! No mercy!"
"Mercy's gone, he's killing it," Odette said loudly. Her lower back started to prickle, and it picked up intensity faster than it usually did. She looked at Noel, who just looked clueless. He was as lost on what to do as she was.
Desmocula went in for another attack, and in a swift bite, it tore off one of the gyarados' whiskers. It didn't even flinch.
She couldn't take it anymore. She'd been walking around despondent Pokemon all day and witnessing the worst of the worst of mankind. She could no longer sit by and watch this happen. Her anger was bubbling over into a violent froth.
Before considering her options, she was already halfway toward the bank.
"Stop! It fainted! You're done!" she bellowed, stomping up to the overweight man. He apparently didn't hear her because he looked surprised when she got to him and grabbed him by the fabric of his sleeve.
"Call that thing back," she seethed. "You're gonna kill it!"
"Bah!" the man spat, swatting at her. "Get away, little one. You don't know what you're fuckin' talkin' about. One less gyarados won't kill anybody, ya know?"
He turned back around, and Odette's vision swam. Without a moment's hesitation, she lunged for the Pokeball in his hand.
"Hey!" he yelped. "I said keep back!"
He wrestled with her, and Odette discovered that there was indeed strength between all that fat. In a single push, he sent her stumbling backward. The force of her head and back hitting the grass knocked the wind out of her, and she coughed violently.
"I should press charges for harassment, you fuckin' bitch. Let me do my thing, and you crawl back from where ya came and do yours."
I'm putting these two together because they both made me want a SWAT Team to storm in and take all those heartless jackasses down. You can't even blame Odette for losing it. I'm surprised she didn't kick this particular jackass in the family jewels.
"I should press charges for harassment, you fuckin' bitch. Let me do my thing, and you crawl back from where ya came and do yours."
Bitch boi the feds should press charges against you (if there are feds in here, this seems like something federal agents would be in charge of tackling)
Odette weaved along the gravel trails. She'd wanted to walk by the lake, but many people seemed to be down there blatantly ignoring the "Beware of Gyarados!" signs positioned all around the perimeter. None of them appeared to care, though. She wondered if there had ever been an attack at a gathering like this. Trainers frequented those waters a lot, but did the gyarados go after people on land?
Her mind began to wander as she started to imagine herself in a situation of an attack, and her gaze traveled over to Enora, who was in front of her, walking along with Vullaby on her back. It'd been a while since she'd been involved in a battle with a wild Pokemon, but she supposed it wouldn't be anything she couldn't handle.
His words worked like Hydro Pump on a poor use of Will-O-Wisp. As quickly as the crowd had piped up, they retreated back into themselves, going back to eyeing Enora like she was something to eat. It was hardly a preferable change, but one that Odette would make herself stomach for now. If anything, she was more shocked to hear Dorien acting like a decent human being.
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL
It was one thing to play undercover cop for busting a drug ring, but they had since realized they were dealing with a much bigger problem. Trafficked Pokemon, being bounced around because they can create those demonic Pokemon. It had to have something to do with the drugs yet, but they weren't sure what. But Odette was essentially asking Enora to play the part of one of those trafficked Pokemon so that she could get answers.
This was only exacerbated by the fact that Enora had been there when that happened. Her entire team had, save for Loïc. They'd watched her deteriorate under the trauma, both from the things he did to her and the one thing she did back that caused the news stories, the rumors, the fucking lawsuit…
Odette was asking Enora--and her entire team--to put themselves in a situation where they might watch her get hurt again. Fuck, they might get hurt. Especially Enora.
Oof, the feels are strong with this one. Pokemon being sad always hits you harder, doesn't it? Identity's very unpolished compared to its sequel so I tend not to re-visit it, but this legit reminded me of how Valen's Pokemon struggled to cope with his situation.
But I will always stan how invested you get your readers into your characters. Your ability to handle dark subject matters like drugs and that brutal attack on the Gyarados without going into "edgy" teritority (think cliche creepypastas) is remarkable. Keep it up!
Sorry for going AWOL. Reading's very difficult for me due to ADHD. I need to improve on both books and fanfics but there seems to be improvement with books. I hope I can do the same with fanfics cuz I want to engage more.
Heya, it took a while, but I’m here with the first chapter of my end of our review exchange about White Swan, Black Swan, picking off right where I left off last time with…
Odette’s forehead hovered centimeters over the floor as she pointed her toes. She exhaled deeply, feeling the effects of her straddle wash over her. The knot in her lower back began to loosen, and her glutes began to scream a little. In a good way, of course. There was no better way to start a busy day than with a solid stretch.
Wonder if this answer will stay the same for Odette later on in the story given that she’s being influenced by another party.
A loud sizzling noise rang from the kitchen, and Odette pushed herself upright, keeping her legs straddled. The smell of vegetable omelets started to waft through the apartment, and she felt her stomach rumble. Instinctively, her hand travelled to rest on it.
“Smells good, Sol,” she said. "You really didn't need to cook today, though. I was planning to stop at the food court before class."
That sounds like that could get into some real dangerous territory in short order, really. ^^;
From her spot on the floor, perpendicular to the coffee table, Odette turned and eyed Isaur as she slowly flipped through the TV channels. She was using the arrow buttons on the TV set itself, and she’d been at it for almost five minutes.
Odette: “Isaur, you know that’s not good for your eyes, right?” :|
Isaur: “*It’s not my problem the remote’s an impossible mess of buttons to figure out!” >_>;
“Just put on the news and be done with it, goddamn,” Odette said. She thought for a moment. “And where’s the stupid remote?”
inb4 Loïc has it stashed in a hidey-hole somewhere.
A hiss rang from behind her, somewhere near the table. She heard something slide across the floor, and it struck the back of her leg. She shot a look at it, only to see it was the missing remote. She narrowed her eyes before looking over her shoulder. Loïc was sitting under one of the chairs, staring back innocently.
Odette: “Oh my god, Loïc, I swear. I don’t need to deal with this crap this early in the morning!” >_>;
Odette picked it up and typed in the number for the news channel. The screen flipped to it, prompting annoying grumbles to rise from Isaur. The familiar jingle played over the speakers as she hovered over to the couch, and plopped herself down between Ange and Enora. Ange was blinking drowsily, still trying to wake up, while Enora took to idly grooming herself.
"You know there’s nothing good on TV on Friday mornings,” Odette said.
She sat the remote on the coffee table, next to her idle phone, before lowering her chest back to the floor. She exhaled, concentrating on her stretch while partially tuning in to the sound of the TV.
Would suggest splitting this paragraph up, but wait, what does Odette like for TV shows anyways? Since what on earth is there to watch other than sports or the occasional holiday event that can’t be had via VoD these days?
“We are still receiving updates regarding the gruesome discovery made early this morning. The Lumiose PD received a tip late last night and made the bust early this morning,” the reporter said. “According to the reports we have so far, ten trainers and their Pokemon partners were found dead at the Pangoro Packing Storage Facility on Crabhammer Road. LCPD Police Chief Bernard Cinq-Mars has been on the scene with detectives securing the area."
Sure enough, his familiar face popped into view: short, well-kept salt-and-pepper hair and a neatly trimmed matching beard framed a pair of tired, somber-looking brown eyes. Despite that, he held himself confidently and spoke with an air of determination that could only be found in somebody as passionate in their job as he was.
“We’re still in the process of investigating what's happened here, but...it's not looking good right now,” he said.
Understatement of the century there since there’s at least 20 corpses lying around in a warehouse.
“Can you confirm that this is another case of a sacrilege overdose?” asked the reporter behind the camera.
Bernard’s face fell ever so slightly as he contemplated the question. He soon shrugged. “We'll have to see what the toxicology reports come back with, but I'd say it's more than likely,” he replied grimly.
inb4 the cameraman winds up accidentally filming the inside of the warehouse and it turns out to be a few internal organs short of being a charnel house.
There was a cut back to the reporter, who continued rambling through her report. However, Odette heard none of it, and her head had begun to buzz: first, with relief that her grandpa hadn’t been hurt and still seemed in good spirits. And then, with some concern: she’d scrolled through her news app for fifteen minutes yesterday on her lunch break and only found the one repetitive OD story. Now, there was a new one. Well, at least ten, more specifically.
Oh, so even handsets are Rotom Phones in Kalos of 2020 these days, huh? I mean, it’s a logical evolution even if I have to wonder how on earth the Great Rotoming even happened in-universe from the times of DPPt
She grabbed it hastily. “Thanks,” she said, then answered as she wriggled out of her straddle.
“Are you watching the news?” Marieanne gasped on the other end.
Odette: “Seriously, Nana, this is getting a bit creepy right now.” .-.
Odette usually preferred keeping her discussions of sacrilege issues between her and Noel, but she could stand to humour her grandma for a few minutes before she headed off to school. She eyed the clock hanging just above the balcony door and found they weren't due to leave for another thirty minutes. She had time.
“I was. I was getting ready to call you myself,” Odette said, standing up and wandering over to the couch. "Might actually go see grandpa after class after seeing that, honestly."
Odette: “(Actually, should I be worried about why Nana’s calling me over this?)” .-.
It was colder today. It didn’t help that another round of thunderheads had come out to play. Odette had barely made it inside the building of the Santalune Pokemon Academy before the downpour started. Now, sitting in the lecture hall for Mr. Songmin’s Battle Tactics class, she could hear the rain pounding on the building outside. Thunderclaps would shake the classroom every now and then.
Oh, so this is going to be the chapter where Venira finally comes out into the open, huh? Since that backdrop is certainly ominous there.
On most days, she was a very attentive student, especially in this class. Mr. Songmin was one of those young teachers who prided themselves on being on good terms with their students. He always put effort into making sure his lectures--no matter how boring the subject matter-- were at least moderately entertaining, so the moldable minds in his presence would be more open to listening. Odette particularly enjoyed his enthusiasm. She also loved how his Kantonian accent shone through his Kalosian words once in a while. She found it charming.
However, today her mind buzzed with thoughts of the morning news. No matter how much she tried to shake it off, it was like her brain had magnetized to thinking about it. She had to resist the urge to pull her phone out and see if there were any updates. But she doubted it would be that simple, making her eager to delve more into it.
Yeah, I suppose that would do it there. Though I highly down that this was the first time that this has happened to her in class given how deep into being an amateur sleuth Odette was in the first chapter.
It's absurd, she kept telling herself. From talking to Bernard about all the cases he’d worked on, she knew it wasn't abnormal for drug epidemics to cause deaths. But at the rate they were happening with this sacrilege stuff, it was starting to feel like they were dealing with something much more intense.
Were groups of people found dead in strange places while overdosing on opioids? Or meth? Or anything else, really? What was Team Enigma even trying to accomplish with this sort of thing? Wiping out a whole socioeconomic class, maybe? And why was it so targeted at shiny Pokemon, anyway? She'd need to have Noel look into the file notes when–
Would suggest hacking this paragraph up in two pieces since it’s a bit sentence and idea-dense. Though Sacrilege is going to turn out to be made of Deadly Sinmon blood or something like that, isn’t it?
“Cinq-Mars, I didn’t know the lecture was on the ceiling.”
She hadn’t realized that she had leaned back against her chair and was staring into space. She slowly sat up.
“I don’t have to be looking at you to be listening, Songmin,” she replied easily, hoping to play off her inattentiveness.
This feels more like a surefire way to piss the teacher off, but you do you, Odette.
Mr. Songmin smiled broadly as the class collectively chuckled. He sauntered over to his desk, which was stationed right in the middle of the lecture hall. He then sat down on it, crossing his legs and folding his hands politely in his lap.
“Mm, then tell me,” he said. “You have a froslass partner, correct? Isaur? What are froslass known for in competitive battling?”
“So how would you tactfully use Isaur's speed in a battle scenario? Say, you’re up one, but the partner you currently have out is struggling.”
She folded her hands on her desk in a somewhat mocking fashion. She started to tap her fingers on her knuckles as her mind began to run with adequate answers.
“I’d switch into her in a case of out-speeding. I’d swap her in while the opposing Pokemon was distracted because of whoever was in before or charging up.”
Oh, so it’s possible to do switchins without getting hit in this setting. Noted for the future, even if it makes sense that that’d be possible in a less abstracted battle.
Mr. Songmin nodded along slowly. He didn’t say anything for a short moment.
“Fair, but what if the opposing Pokemon again out-speeds her? Froslass most certainly aren’t the fastest competitive Pokemon, and surely there are ways for your foe to knock her out in one hit?”
Odette: “... I send her out with a Focus Sash?” ^^;
Odette pushed her glasses up on her nose. “Isaur’s been training with a Focus Sash since she was a Snorunt. She can take a powerful hit,” she said. “In which case, she uses Destiny Bond. Now my foe is stuck between switching out themselves or losing another Pokemon and being down two.”
That sounds like a massive sign saying “please cherry tap me with Pursuit”, just saying.
He pursed his lips and nodded slowly. “Good answer. I’ll pretend I didn’t catch you daydreaming, then,” he said playfully before standing up again.
He returned to the whiteboard and launched into something else about using Pokemon stats to one’s advantage. Odette exhaled quietly. She could shake off zoning out in lectures like this, but she’d have to be on her A-game in battle class.
She’s going to need this for more than just battle class in the very near future, huh?
That class came to an end without much another incident. At the very least, Odette could say she now knew that a pachirisu could be a good staller. If she ever decided she wanted to deal with the pain of electric types, she’d have to remember that.
I would axe one of “much” or “another” there. Though is that a reference to the Follow Me Pachirisu of VGC infamy that I see there?
The giant class filed into the hall, where some other older students loitered. As Odette exited, she was cut off by two youngsters, their raticate friends in tow, as they bolted back to their classroom from gods knew where. She sometimes forgot that kids as young as five also attended the academy with bright-eyed partners. The advanced classes were normally held in a building separate from the young kids, and Odette’s classes had primarily older students. But it wasn’t uncommon for some Pokemon prodigies to end up in them. Hell, she had two eleven-year-olds in her advanced monotype class. It was quite jarring to feel like she was back on a university campus, only to find herself sitting next to a primary school-aged kid on some occasion.
… Wait, was this developed prior to the release of SV? Since that’s some amazing prescience if so given that Naranja/Uva Academy is almost literally structured like Santalune in terms of who it admits.
She scoffed at the thought, then withdrew her phone to check the time. 12:34, eleven minutes to battle class. She might have had time to get something to eat from the cafeteria before getting her team from their HM class, but her will to eat had faded when she remembered today was an exhibition day.
Starting to get a feeling that Venira’s going to come out in full view of the entire rest of the academy.
Every Friday, her battle teacher would randomly select two students to go head-to-head for an exhibition 3v3 match while the other students took notes on what they did right and wrong. The winner would receive extra credit. They were a month into the semester, and she hadn’t been called on yet. Each Friday that passed, she was sure she was getting closer and closer to having to pit her skills against one of her talented classmates while the others looked on.
It caused a hole to open in her stomach every time she thought about it.
Well that’s a poor omen for how the day in class is going to go for Odette here. Since this is exactly the sort of thing that happens 5 minutes before you find out “yup, it’s my turn to go out for the exhibition match”.
It was so invigorating to witness other people go at it, taking in their expressions as they struggled side by side with their partners, hoping to come out victorious. She was usually okay battling it out in her smaller classes, but…in Mrs. Chuquet’s class of thirty-five students, that proved to be a little more daunting.
Mood, since big classes in high schools and colleges are often cutthroat in how competitive they are, especially if they’re graded on a curve.
She rolled her shoulders. She wasn’t sure what was making her stomach hurt the most. The thought of losing or the thought of battling in front of such a large group.
I mean, Venira probably isn’t helping things either, but that sounds like some good reasons to be stressed there.
“RotomPhone, any updates on the latest sacrilege OD?” she asked her phone as she turned and started walking for the battle gym. Her screen displayed a loading screen before Rotom’s frowning face popped up again.
“Bzzzzzt! Nope, nothing! Bzzzzt!” it said. "It's only been a couple of hours since the last, so I doubt anything would come out so quickly."
Suddenly, her shoulder made contact with somebody’s arm. Somebody’s buff arm. The person she’d bumped into was at least a foot taller than her and was moving quite fast, so they sent her stumbling back. She would have very much fallen on her butt had they not reeled around and caught her by her arm.
“Whoa!” he yelped as he grabbed her. He pulled her up to stand, slipping an arm around her back in a protective manner. “I am so sorry,” he sputtered once Odette was still.
Oh yeah, that’s not going to push any buttons for Odette there given her relatively recent life experiences.
She stood stiff, staring straight ahead and blinking as she tried to swallow the bout of rage that had shot up through her back. “Why don’t you watch where you’re--” she began as she tilted her head up to peer at the guy. Her gaze caught on a set of handsome green eyes, downturned with concern. A pair of expensive-looking Praltz sunglasses sat on his head, the same ones this guy used to wear daily to school.
Oh boy, it’s this guy. Time to see why he’s such a hate magnet from the readerbase.
His smile grew more excited with each passing second. "No way,” he gasped.
He released his grip on her and took a step back. “Odette, holy hell,” he exclaimed. “I knew I recognized those braids. You look fantastic, my god." He laughed to himself. "How long has it been?"
I take it that Odette hasn’t seen much of Dorien at this point given that she doesn’t view him as being a massive cad. Or else she has and just likes him anyways. Somehow.
Odette adjusted her glasses, taking a beat to look him over. Everything about him looked expensive. She was so used to seeing him in their assigned high school uniform that she forgot he had the money to spend on such high-end outfits. The prestigious logos embedded into his clothes seemed to shine like the diamonds they were probably worth. Praltz, Louis Vibrava, Roll-X…
Oh, so Odette had a crush on this guy when she was younger? .-.
That was certainly true; the two of them never got anything less than A’s on their projects together. Where she sucked at math, she made up for it with her fantastic presentation and PowerPoint-making skills. His strong suit was the numbers and wooing the teachers with his gene-instilled charm.
I… am beginning to understand how this guy is such a hate sink, since charmers as a character archetype can veer into that territory very quickly depending on what they use their talents for.
She remembered how stoked she was to have him as a lab partner. He was easily one of the best-looking straight guys at Lansat Preparatory Academy, and she wasn't the only student who thought that. But she was the lucky one. Seeing each other in chemistry every day and having to do so many projects together allowed them to get rather...close.
It’s unintentional, but I’m kinda snerking at the title there given that using Lansat Berries for other purposes is a recurring thing in some of my writings. Not that naming your academy after a fruit that allegedly feels good just to hold is a bad choice.
They were almost a thing. Or, perhaps, kind of a thing. She'd been so caught up in her musical theatre studies that having a boyfriend had never crossed her mind. She felt like she didn't have the time or energy. At least until she met him.
That actually makes me wonder how much and how fast the shine’s going to come off of Dorien for Odette over the course of the story. Since I get the distinct feeling that the Dorien that Odette remembers either no longer exists or else was filtered through some massively rose-tinted lenses.
Why didn't we ever become official? she thought to herself. Now that she was thinking about it, it was strange. They just...stopped hanging out for some odd reason that she couldn't quite recall.
You spotted personality problems that you’re currently not thinking about underneath all the gauche clothes at the moment? o<o
The warmth was spreading over her nose and was only growing more intense. It startled her, but she figured that not acknowledging it would cause it to fade faster. Scratching at her cheek awkwardly, she decided to ask the age-old question.
Dorien: “Well, I do have a decently significant role in this story, so-”
Odette: “Answers that don’t break the fourth wall, Dorien.” >_>;
Dorien raised his shoulder gleefully, then flashed a piece of paper that depicted a class schedule. “Late enrollment, believe it or not. I start today. I kind of hit a rough spot in my training and decided I needed divine intervention,” he added dramatically. “I’ll admit, I was kind of worried at first, but I’m so glad to have a really familiar face here.”
Is it wrong that I mentally imagined Dorien doing full prima donna body language while telling Odette this? :V
A smile began to curl her own lips. “I guess you were jogging because you’re late?”
He exhaled sharply and peered at the slip of paper. “No, actually. Well, not yet. If I can’t find the room, I will be,” he said. He handed the paper to her. "Help?”
She leaned over to examine it, roving her finger over the 12:30 time slot.
inb4 Dorien winds up being Odette’s battling opponent later in the day.
Battle Performance - Building A Gym - Tania Chuquete
She blinked in surprise. “Oh, lucky you,” she said. “We’re in the same class.”Dorien’s face lit up, brighter than it already was. “Lucky me for sure,” he said eagerly. Almost too eagerly. He was always easily excitable, but she didn’t remember it being this excessive. She raised her brow dubiously.
Oh yeah, he’s totally going to be her battling opponent for the day.
He must have seen her expression change because he rubbed the side of his neck bashfully. “Sorry, like I said. Excited that you're here.” He flinched suddenly and rushed to correct himself. "That I know somebody, I mean."
inb4 that’s not just metaphorical Cutiefly in her stomach there.
Odette shook her head abruptly, deciding to brush the feeling off. “No, don’t worry about it. I am, too,” she said. “I’m headed there anyway, so you can just follow me. My team will meet us there.”
This entire moment is going to age like milk within five minutes, isn’t it?
She walked ahead, figuring it was best to keep up with the small talk. Asking how he’d been, how he was faring the weather, small stuff. He had no issue talking her ear off, and frankly, she didn’t mind. She’d rather ask him about himself than vice versa, lest she end up in that bad place again.
Wait, is this memories of the incident™ that Odette had or something else? While it makes sense that Odette wouldn’t want to think too hard about things if it is indeed “the incident™” that’s being referenced here, I wonder if there was a way to make this clearer to readers.
“What kind of team do you have together?” she inquired as they rounded a corner, maneuvering through a crowd of loitering teenagers.
“Well, I have a thing for steel and fighting types, surely,” he said. “But, I’m trying to keep my group well-rounded, you know? Counters for everything.”
I don’t believe that. There’s no such thing as “a counter for everything” in a Pokémon team, even if it’s just not being impervious to getting caught off-guard.
She pursed her lips. “That’s always smart,” she said. And so baseline, she thought.
Translation: Dorien would get thrown hard by an effective gimmick team.
“That being said, I’ve got my partners Ferrothorn, Togedemaru, Corviknight, Pangoro, Toxicroak, and Bewear,” he listed, raising a finger with each passing name. “I tend to swap between them because I also have Excadrill, Poliwrath, and Conkeldurr.”
Wait, how normal is it for trainers in this setting to have more than a full team of Pokémon under their care anyways? Not that I don’t disbelieve Dorien has the means for this if he’s rocking Rolex analogues while in school.
Odette nodded. All primary and secondary fighting and steel types. An interesting combination. If and when she ended up in a battle with him, she’d have to watch out. Those steel moves would send Enora, Loïc, and Isaur to the emergency room at a Poké Center if she weren’t careful. But, she could solidly counter those fighting types…
Not sure whether or not the dropping of the accent on “Poké” was by design or not. But it’s not about the typing, it’s how you use it. Which I admittedly would be a bit more confident in Odette than Dorien to think outside of the box since Odette gives off more of those vibes than Dorien does.
“What about you? I know you always had a neat team--gothorita, litwick, snorunt...and a...shiny eevee, right?”
Can’t tell if Dorien’s being genuine here or if he’s doing this with the most transparent
face in the world that Odette isn’t picking up on.
“Oh,” she said. “They're still around. Well, they’ve evolved since then. Gothitelle, chandelure, froslass, and sylveon. I also recently had a mimikyu join as well. And, of course, RotomPhone here, but he's not a battler. Just on rehab from an injury, so he's helping me function from inside my phone for a bit."
What on earth happened to him anyways? Though I suppose that would be an effective use of Rotom that aren’t cut out for competitive battling there. .-.
"Bzzzzzt, howdy!" RotomPhone greeted, waving one of his jagged arms.
Dorien: “Really, no ‘Bonjour’? Did you get it stuck on Unovan language settings or something-?”
Odette: “Look, just assume that everything’s translation conventioned, okay?” >_>;
Dorien nodded in approval, then began to scratch his chin as a thought seemingly occurred to him. "Pleasure to meet you," he said. "But, no battling sixth?”
Odette: “Did I not just say that Rotom had an injury that he’s recovering from?”
Dorien: “Well, yes. But you just never got another Pokémon to fill his place all this time?” ^^;
“I’m having a hard time finding someone who’d fit into my team dynamic,” she said quietly like she was embarrassed about it. “Loïc...” she paused. “I mean my mimikyu friend,” she corrected. “Was a fluke as it is. My maman kind of saddled him on me, but he’s...made himself at home. Pain in my ass, but he makes things very lively."
I mean, she isn’t wrong given that I don’t think we have seen a boring moment with Loïc around yet, if not necessarily for the right reasons.
“Well, I was going to say,” he chuckled, “a shiny sylveon would bring in enough money to last you a lifetime if you sold it at an auction. But, maybe not the best idea if you’re only running five.”
Aaaaaand there’s the first hard drop where we get to see why Dorien is a hate sink in this story.
Odette’s eyes went wide. What an absolutely audacious thing to say. She heard RotomPhone buzz in alarm next to her.
“Excuse me?” she said. A mix of intense anger and an undying urge to laugh stirred in her chest. She started to let some of those laughs go, but she stopped herself upon remembering just how Dorien's family, the Bonhomme's, family got their fortune.
Yeah, I figured. And boy is Dorien’s audience sympathy falling through the floor in live-time right now.
Wait.
Now it made sense. That's why they'd stopped hanging out. A whisper of nostalgic horror filled her gut as she vaguely remembered how his familial occupation came to light. How she'd been blissfully unaware of his involvement until the end of the year.
Odette, how do you forget these sorts of details? .-.
Fucking seriously? she thought bitterly.
How the hell had she forgotten that so easily? She would have assumed something like that would have stuck with her for the rest of her damn life, yet…
Because you were too busy crushing on Dorien’s hot bod to pay attention to the terrible person underneath? Same principle as an old German car that hasn’t been maintained well: beautiful bodywork, cursed internals under the hood that will bring you equal parts headaches and heartbreak if you’re not a gearhead.
Suddenly, her mind was racing again, this time with the thoughts of what Noel had found yesterday.
The wealthy, plus shinies...sounds like some shiny trade bullshit.
I mean, would it really be such a loss if Dorien died to a Sacrilege OD? Since it’s literally been one scene with him present and I’m already finding myself asking the question.
“It’s not the best idea, period,” she said. “I’m not somebody who's in favor of the trade. It should have been abolished years ago.”
She watched as Dorien rolled his eyes. It lit a fire in her stomach. “Come on, you sound like the rest of the world.”
Dorien: “Seriously, Odette. I thought you grew out of this in grade school.”
That time, she let her laughs out with no stops. She reached up her hand, signalling RotomPhone to go into standby mode. He reluctantly raced back into her hand, and she put the device in her pocket.
“It’s almost like the rest of the world is right.”
Well, this meeting is going to go places quickly. Though would suggest separating Odette’s dialogue from the rest of the paragraph to give it more punch.
Dorien’s brow furrowed momentarily, but he smiled through it.
“Ah, I guess we come from different upbringings. Somebody in my family comes across a shiny, it’s on the market within a day,” he explained.
… Wait, what is the functional difference between this and poaching anyways? Or is there enough of a sufficient gray area in the trade that they’re de facto the same in the right(/wrong) circles?
“Do you want my honest thoughts or my sugarcoated thoughts?” Odette said harshly.
She’s going to give her honest thoughts regardless, isn’t she?
“Sugarcoated, please.”
He added a smile that she assumed was supposed to be charming, but something about it rubbed her entirely the wrong way. She was getting ready to chew him out for his involvement in such a deplorable establishment, and he was grinning at her like she was flirting with him. Not that she could pull off flirting even if she wanted to, but that wasn’t the point.
Boy does this guy put a lot of faith in his abilities as a charmer.
Dorien: “I’m sorry, but why am I supposed to be upset with my family again? Would you expect a butcher’s kid to be upset with the way his parents put food on the table? No? How’s my family’s trade any different beyond that both their product and their clients are happy and healthy in the end and that it pays better?”
Odette: “Dorien, you literally just referred to Pokémon as ‘products’!” >.<
Dorien: “Well? Am I wrong?”
“That’s a dickbag move.”
He held his hand over his heart, turning his head away dramatically as if he were offended. “Goodness, I’d hate to know your honest thoughts, then.”
She slowly sucked her teeth. The pleasantries of reconnecting with an old flame were fading very quickly. In fact, the sentiment was practically gone. All she wanted to do now was beam her water bottle at him. Perhaps she should have let her anger roll and decked him when he ran into her.
Ah yes, Venira is awake and pushing Odette’s buttons right now.
She had a much more nasty remark lined up, but they arrived at the gym before she could let it loose. She quickly decided that that was for the best. She certainly wasn’t one to shy away from confrontation, but she was focused on keeping herself in check for this class. She didn’t need to get so riled up over Dorien’s absolutely fucked views of the trade. At least, not now.
Yeah, these two are absolutely going to wind up being each others’ opponents in the exhibition battle, aren’t they?
She pushed the heavy double doors open and was met with the sight of some of her classmates sitting on the bleachers. The gym itself wasn’t what a standard school gym would look like. No basketball hoops, no volleyball nets--just a practice battle arena. The walls and ceiling were even padded with protection against stray projectiles. The bleachers themselves also had a protective barrier that could be activated whenever a showdown was going to occur. Truly, no expense was spared by the academy.
Oh, so the protective barrier is just a straight-up forcefield, huh? Guess that’d do the trick better than plexiglass and be easier to maintain in the long run.
“Huh. Seems standard,” Dorien commented. His voice had a posh inflection, which made Odette’s nerves prickle in disdain. Maybe getting a little riled up wouldn’t hurt.
At this rate, I really am expecting Venira to just come out in full view of the class and make everyone freak out.
“Must be nice to be so rich that ‘state of the art’ is just ‘standard’ to you,” she cracked, her tone wavering on the line between reserved and downright biting. He appeared oblivious to her less-than-friendly demeanor.
Dorien’s perfectly aware of this and doing this shtick on purpose, isn’t he?
“Are you sure you’re not just a spoiled brat?” she queried as they walked across the vast space. This prompted another chuckle, this one a little louder.
“Maybe?” he offered.
That same attempt-at-charming smile made a comeback, and she began to wonder if he actually was in the mindset that this was flirting. That didn’t make any goddamn sense to her. Not that she was the flirting expert; quite the opposite, actually. But she wasn’t so emotionally unintelligent that she’d take rude banter as something in the same vein as courting.
She somehow didn’t remember Dorien being so oblivious, but what did she know? She’d forgotten why she stopped liking him in the first place, so forgetting how he was as a person wasn’t entirely farfetched in comparison. People change in five years, don't they?
Narrator: “He’s not oblivious, he just thinks he can win you over by shmoozing you.”
A couple of the students already sitting there sent friendly waves and soft “hey’s” toward her as she trekked up the bleacher stairs to her usual bench. Dorien sat next to her and leaned back against the seats behind him, folding his arms behind his head.
“So give me the rundown. How does it work here?” he asked.
Oh, so there’s normally gimmicks at places like these? Though I suppose if nothing else, knowing the amount of time to stall a battle out to get a win by timeout would be handy for informing a strategy if that’s also a thing in matches in this setting.
She inhaled deeply and slowly turned her head to face him. As expected, he was flashing his teeth at her. She couldn’t help but notice how perfectly straight they were.
Odette: “You realize that’s a sign of aggression among a large swath of Pokémon, right?”
Dorien: “Well, good thing I’m human, hm? Has it really been so long since you’ve seen someone smile at you, Odette?”
“Every Friday, the professor picks two students to showcase a 3v3 battle,” she explained. “In case your servants didn’t remind you when you woke up this morning, today is Friday.”
Yeah, these two are absolutely going to fight each other in a matter of like two minutes.
The intended insult flew right over his head. He seemed to show more interest in the idea of the showcase battle, judging by how his eyes brightened. He turned onto his side, fully facing her, and rested his cheek on his palm. “Oh, that sounds fun,” he said slyly. “What are the chances I’ll get grabbed today?”
With her brows scrunched and a deep frown on her face, she turned toward him again, only to find that he’d leaned in close to her. Too close to her. Her cheek was mere centimeters from brushing his nose as she turned her head. Green eyes were narrowed in an all-too-sultry fashion, and his toothy smile had shrunk down to a smirk.
Odette: “Dorien, could you torch your audience sympathy any faster right now?” >.<
Dorien: “Who, moi? Nonsense, I’m quite the charmer. Perhaps you ought to worry more about this stiff and standoffish attitude of yours, Odette. I hear that’s not in vogue among audiences these days.”
Instinctively, she raised her hand and pressed her palm to his nose, forcing him backwards and out of her personal space.
“You can watch me from back there,” she said, emphasizing her last word as she pulled her hand away. “I’m not a fan of people getting so close to me, thank you.”
He’s going to do this again on multiple occasions in this story, isn’g he?
She watched him tilt his head to the side, his expression growing sad. But it wasn’t any sort of sincere sadness. It was a mocking sadness. Like one somebody might give a farfetch’d for throwing a tantrum over their leek losing a leaf. A fire lit in her veins, and she grasped the strap of her backpack to refrain from backhanding him outright.
“What?” he said, feigning a pout. “Come on, I figured we were doing flame rekindling here.” He exhaled deeply and leaned back into the bench behind him again. “Not to be so forthright after only reacquainting myself with you ten minutes ago, but I liked our thing. I was hoping to talk about revisiting it, if I may be so blunt."
Dorien, read a room. Though I like how he’s arrogant enough to think that he can schmooze his way out of getting someone to look past parts of his and his family’s background that he knows the girl he’s hitting on would find repulsive.
Her grip on her backpack tightened. She was sure the skin on her knuckles would tear open, but she didn’t care. If she let go, his pretty little nose was going to break.
Maliciously crafted words threatened to spew out, but the double doors opened again, and the remaining students, including Odette's Pokemon group, filed in with Mrs. Chuquete in tow. Mrs. Chuquete held her usual clipboard under her arm, and a baseball cap sat on her head of fluffy red hair.
Ah yes, Dorien’s saved by the proverbial bell. For now. Though I have to wonder how long he’s going to avoid getting decked by the girl with the literal demon of wrath bottled up in her.
Odette exhaled the shallow breath she was holding, almost feeling relieved that the start of class would save her from the absolute trainwreck of a conversation she was having. It would also save her from the probable expulsion that would come with absolutely pummeling a new student half to death.
Yeah, Dorien’s getting beaten down within a single-digit number of chapters after this, isn’t he? Since Odette doesn’t read as having a firm grasp on her inner demons right now. Both figuratively and literally.
“Huh, class starting?” Dorien commented like he was trying to fill the tense silence that had swelled between them.
Yeah, no shit, she wanted to yell. She bit her tongue instead, just in time for Solene, Enora, Isaur, Ange, and Loïc to join her on the bleachers. Solene was the first to notice Dorien, and she nudged Odette frantically upon recognizing his face.
“Alright, settle down, trainers, Pokemon,” Mrs. Chuquete called, silencing the low chatter. “I’d like to get this started quickly, so we have plenty of time to discuss and practice ourselves. I know we also have a new student in here today, so this’ll be a good chance for him to see how we do things in here.”
Oh, so Dorien really is going to take part in the exhibition battle, huh?
Dorien clicked his tongue in response to being acknowledged. It took everything in Odette not to growl at him.
Mrs. Chuquete lifted the front page on her clipboard to look at whatever was under it before dropping it again. “So I’ll keep this quick. First up on the chopping block, Odette Cinq-Mars.”
Odette’s heartbeat, which had already started to ring in her ears, picked up. She suddenly felt very glad she didn’t eat because she surely would have lost it at that point. Her skittish appetite did come in handy sometimes.
Odette: “Is this really necessary?” >.<
Mrs. Chaquete: “... Yes? It has been almost a month since your last exhibition battle, Ms. Cinq-Mars.”
If she weren’t so angry, she probably would have had a harder time recalling her team to their balls and getting up to walk to the front of the bleachers. But she happily took it as a chance to get away from Dorien.
I’m really convinced that Dorien’s going to be her opponent right here and now. Like this whole plot setup just screams that it’s going to happen.
Mrs. Chuquete scanned her board for a moment before speaking again. “The slated opponent today was Muraoka Knowles, but she’s called in sick. So I'll give somebody a chance to volunteer before I just move down the list.”
Odette’s foot had just hit the arena floor when Mrs. Chuquete spoke. She stopped dead in her tracks, taking the moment to inhale a deep breath. Her eyes slipped shut as a grimace took hold of her features.
For the love of fucking gods, she thought bitterly. She knew what was coming.
Odette had half a mind to grab somebody’s backpack and throw it clear across the room. She was trying so goddamn hard not to explode, and she couldn’t remember the last time it had been this difficult. Singing ‘Jellicle Songs’ wouldn’t solve this dilemma.
Odette: “♫ Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark? ♫”
Dorien: “Yoo hoo, Odette! Eyes on me here! Or you could just let yourself get swept, that works too!” ^^
Odette:
“Oh, the new student is eager, huh?” Mrs. Chuquete queried, raising her brow. Odette didn’t move from her spot, as she was too busy trying, and failing, to blink the red out of her eyes. She only returned to her senses when she felt a hand fall on her right shoulder.
“Odette’s a friend of mine, so I’d never pass up a chance to battle her!” he said.
She jerked her shoulder away from his grasp and craned her neck to glare at him. The cocky smile he returned put her on the verge of an anger-induced heart attack if she wasn’t at that point already. She stomped forward, out to the middle of the arena, to configure which of her Pokemon she was going to send out for the battle. Something to keep her hands and brain busy for the time being.
Though I can already tell that this battle is going to be spectacular if it plays out the way that I think it will.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “I’m really looking forward to this class, even if I did show up a little late in the quarter. Hopefully, you’ll be the divine intervention I’m looking for in my training journey.”
The way his voice inflected upward in such a playful fashion made Odette roll her eyes. That’s how he used to talk to their chemistry teacher too. Did she find it as annoying back then as she did now? Probably not, because that suave-speak had a huge hand in their straight A’s. But now? It sounded like mawile teeth on a chalkboard.
I mean, if I’m right about where things are going to go here, it’ll be some sort of intervention, alright. Just not a divine one.
She heard Mrs. Chuquete chuckle. “Flattery will get you nowhere, but I like your enthusiasm.”
Despite the words she spoke, she sounded bashful. There was an almost unnoticeable waver in her voice, but Odette picked up easily. That seemed to be the same response he got every time.
Oh, so Dorien really has just charmed his way through large chunks of his earlier life, huh?
She shook her head to herself as she stopped on the left side of the battlefield. She withdrew the three balls from her left pocket; Loïc, Isaur, and Ange. Enora and Solene were in her right pocket. She had to think this over because she was realizing, in her rage, that she was in a precarious situation.
Odette: “Right. I’m short one Pokémon since Rotom’s still not in any condition to go back into exhibition battling.” ._.
- Odette looks around uneasily -
Odette: “I… don’t suppose anyone here can spot a rental, can they?” ^^;
One of the pluses of fighting a classmate was that she’d had the chance to observe them in previous classes. She could confidently say that she’d started to pick up on at least half the class's mannerisms whenever they battled, just from standing by and watching them work. She’d figured that she’d be lucky enough to get paired with somebody she’d observed closely by the time she was called for an exhibition. But no, there had to be a fluke, where she ended up battling the guy she’d never seen go at it once. It was a travesty too because she could read Muraoka like a book. It would have been such a smooth victory.
In your defense, Dorien hasn’t been able to observe you either, Odette. Especially if that vacant sixth slot winds up getting filled with what I think it’s going to be filled by.
The thing that amplified this problem was Dorien’s preference for steel types. He also had fighting types, proving to be a better matchup. But, she was hung up on the fact that steel wiped half her team if she didn’t play her cards exactly right. This was a 3v3, and she wasn’t sure if that would work for or against her. She had to clear her head and really think.
Yeah, good luck with that when you’re literally seeing red right now. Especially when in “IRL” competitive battling, half of the actual competition is attempting to mindgame your opponent.
An obvious choice would be to pick Solene as a lead, as she usually did. Psychic didn’t do much to steel, but steel wasn’t that much of a threat to psychic either. Plus, Solene could whip a fighting type easily.
Cue the Steel-type rocking Night Slash or something like that. It’s not that rare of a TM move.
She calmed down a little, knowing that at least part of her usual strategy wasn’t contested.
Another no-brainer pick was Ange. Fire being one of the only weaknesses of steel types, she’d be stupid not to send him in. He packed enough punch to take on whatever Dorien might throw at them unless he decided to send out a poliwhirl...that would be an issue. She’d have to hold her breath and hope he left that particular partner at home today.
Or again, that he’s not rocking Night Slash. Since I’m starting to wonder who among these two is going to get rolled by the clever gimmick team here.
That left slot three, which is where she found herself stumped. Should she risk Enora or Loïc for the fairy advantage against fighting? If Dorien decided to go primarily steel, though, it would be a terrible time for both of them. Isaur also saw the same problem but didn’t have the same advantage with fighting. Perhaps that just eliminated her from the running? Dammit, it was such a pain in the ass…
Ah yes, great time to have to try and plot out hard strategy when you’re raging hard enough that steam’s coming out your ears.
She’d been lucky enough thus far to have only run into the steel types among rounded teams, but an almost-specialized steel trainer was rough terrain she actively tried to avoid, at least until she could find a counter that would fit her team. She’d done her best to steer clear of the two that were in her monotype class, but there was no backing out of this unless she wanted to see a hit to her grade. She definitely didn’t want to give Dorien that satisfaction, either. If she couldn’t backhand him herself, she’d do it through battle.
Venira’s going to turn out to be that counter, isn’t it?
“Trainers! Ready yourselves!” Mrs. Chuquete called excitedly. “The first three pokemon you send out will be the only ones you can battle with. Choose wisely!”
She hadn’t noticed that Dorien had trekked to his side of the arena. He spun three pokeballs in his left palm, tapping his foot as if he were waiting on her. When she finally caught sight of him, his smile widened.
“Much luck to you, Odette,” he said mockingly. Her jaw clenched, and she pocketed the balls she was holding and grabbed hold of Solene’s.
Dorien: “What’s the matter? Your team doesn’t have a Hazer?”
“Solene, Reflect for incoming attacks,” she said simply as she tossed her ball out. Solene emerged in a beam of pink light.
“Gothi,” Solene said, sounding serious. She clasped her hands together as if in prayer and held them to her lips. “Gothitelle.” A shroud of more pink light fell over her.
This sounds like a recipe for a bad time given that I’m pretty sure that Reflect is only a +1 for defense while Swords Dance is a +2 for Attack. But you do you, Odette.
Odette watched as the dual type lowered into a crouch before propelling itself forward. In a split second, its head made contact with Solene’s stomach. The Gothitelle stumbled backwards, grimacing, but she wasn’t fazed otherwise.
… Wow, maybe Odette really can pull this off. Though I must say it’d be especially hilarious if she just used Attract here and got Dorien’s Excadrill to waste like half his turns getting googly-eyed over Solene there. It just feels like the sort of cheap gimmick that Dorien wouldn’t have bothered preparing a proper counter for.
Solene unclasped her hands and used them in a swift motion to blow a kiss. This sent a stream of pink mist into the Excadrill’s face, causing it to stumble. It shook its head violently, trying to ward off the fumes. But the damage had been done. It reopened its eyes with dilated pupils and stared in awe at the Gothitelle before it.
Dorien gasped deeply. “Snap out of it, Excadrill! Iron Head again!”
Oh, so Dorien really didn’t bother to come up with a counter to that gimmick.
“Hold,” Odette instructed quickly.
With slight hesitation, the Excadrill crouched backward again before launching into Solene’s stomach again. She trembled with the force of the attack but exhaled slowly before lifting her head.
“Itelle,” she said.
“Good stuff, Sol,” Odette praised. She cut her gaze from Excadrill back to Dorien. He had that nasty little smirk on his face, but his brows had lowered in concentration.
Oh, so Dorien’s still got an ace up his sleeve, huh? Well, it’ll be interesting to see what that is.
“Wear off that Reflect, don’t stop hitting.”
Excadrill cooed in protest but quickly shook their head. The Charm had definitely done its job; as long as Solene kept her Reflect going and Excadrill remained charmed, its attack power wouldn't be nearly as intense as normal.
Excadrill flew forward again and went to town. Butting its head into Solene, slicing away at her skin with some hefty uses of X-Scissor. Solene took each hit like an attack dummy, progressively weakening but nowhere close to falling. She made no moves to attack back, allowing Excadrill to land hit after hit. Odette made no move to instruct her otherwise either. She kept her eyes on the opposing Pokemon, watching its every move.
You have an unexpected newline there that you should probably collapse there.
With a final punch, the Reflect barrier shattered, its glassy pieces of it falling to the ground before dissolving into a cloud of translucent dust and fading away. That was the punch that sent Solene sliding back into Odette. Odette caught her with ease and exchanged a look with her.
“Telle,” Solene said, sounding tired. There was still an air of determination in her voice.
“You’re doing great,” Odette told her. “I think we’ve backed them into a corner.”
Dorien: “I’m sorry, I’m the one backed into a corner? You should pay more attention to your end of the field, Odette!”
She shot a look back at Excadrill. It retreated back to Dorien’s side of the arena, panting heavily. She noticed that one of Dorien’s brows began to twitch, and this time, she let her own smirk take over her face. Was he frustrated already? Good.
Solene nodded. “Gothi-telle,” she agreed breathlessly.
“Hold out for one more,” Odette said, patting Solene on the shoulder. Solene nodded, then stomped forward again. She puffed her chest out and clasped her hands together once more.
“Teeeeeeeeeeeellllleeeee!” Solene yelled.
Dorien lightly shook his head, exhaling with a sharp edge. “She’s weak. You can knock her down. Final Iron Head!” he hollered.
You know, for a guy who was acting so smug and in-control earlier, I would’ve expected Dorien to have more than just a SD play and spamming attacks to work with here. Guess that’s an omen for how Dorien rolls in general.
Odette slowly dove her hand back into her pocket, thumbing over Ange’s ball. She’d need to time this just right.
Excadrill let out a roar. It crouched before running forward.
Ange manifested just before Excadrill's head made contact. It cried out in pain before scrambling backwards. A blue flame took hold of its head, and no matter how much it tried to fan it out, it was no use.
“Chandeeeeeeeeeeeeeelure!” Ange cried. He puffed out his cheeks, engulfing himself in a periwinkle flame that built and built and built until it shot forward and made direct contact with Excadrill’s face. It flew backwards and hit the ground with a loud thud.
Odette: “So what was that about needing to pay attention to my end of the field, Dorien?”
Odette could hear a deep breath Dorien sucked in as gasps echoed from her onlooking classmates. The tension filled the arena as Excadrill stumbled back to its feet, blue fire spreading up its arm.
“Can you still battle?” Dorien questioned evenly.
“Ex...ca,” Excadrill replied, resting its hand on the burn. It glared intently at Ange, who chirped politely. He waved at the Excadrill before turning to look at Odette.
Oh, so those two are just casually bantering each other right now, aren’t they? :V
“It’s already burned, so it won’t hesitate to Headbutt you again. But it might have an ace up its sleeve. Smoke it out before we can see it,” she said.
Ange nodded, then suddenly flew toward the mole pokemon. Excadrill appeared to be caught off-guard by the sudden movement and dodged the oncoming blast of fire. They were soon trapped in a dance, Ange shooting flames left and right, while the Excadrill did what it could to avoid another burn. It was already struggling from the first one, and Odette knew it was only a matter of time before it couldn’t go on. Even if Ange couldn’t get another hit, Excadrill was as good as out.
Wait, did Dorien pop a Burn Heal or something, or do debuffs stack in WSBS’ setting?
She watched as Excadrill ceased in its dodging to stare Ange down. Ange held its gaze, rocking slightly from side to side, waiting for retaliation. It crouched before running.
The ground began to rumble, and the force began to build intensity. Odette stared down at the arena floor to find that fissures were beginning to form in the shiny finish.
"Earthquake..." she muttered. "Earthquake! Dodge!" she alerted Ange.
Ange: “*Okay, nevermind then! That was way too close for comfort there!” O++O;
As Odette held her arms out to her sides to keep her balance, a building sense of frustration rose in her. Her observation had been wrong. The stupid mole had constantly crouched before running in for an Iron Head, but that one time came the ace.
That’s mindgaming, hon. Literally part of any competitive battling circuit. Though I have to wonder how on earth you didn’t expect that Excadrill wouldn’t have some Ground-type move that would hurt like hell at some point.
"Don't look so upset, Odie!" Dorien called to her over the intense rumble. "It just can't be helped that I'm one step ahead of you."
Agne: “*W-Wait, Odette, b-but it’s part-Steel. Don’t you mean use Flame-?*” O++O;
Odette: “Use Shadow Ball, goddammit!”
Her voice cracked under the force of her screaming. Ange shot her a worried glance, but she didn't register it. Not through the red she was seeing.
"Go. Now!"
"Chaaaaaan," Ange hissed. He charged forward, dodging pillar after pillar as he conjured a ball of darkness within his tendrils. He'd made it halfway across the arena without a hit, and it looked like he had a clear shot.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeee..." Ange called as he reared back to shoot. "Luu--"
Shk. Shk. Shk. Shk. SHK.
Pillars upon pillars upon pillars. Shooting up from the ground, all entirely aimed at Ange. He had no chance to dodge any of them, and they all hit with such spot-on accuracy that it was unlike anything she had ever seen. This was only intensified by the shocked whispers echoing from the onlookers, which she could now hear because the rumbling had stopped entirely.
Dorien: “Well, you’re certainly exceeding all my expectations in real-time, Odette.”
Odette stared blankly at Ange's fainted body. Her mind was spinning so fast that she could not keep up with it. She'd gone completely numb, trying to make sense of what she'd just witnessed.
But there was no light in his eyes. No crinkle in his cheeks. It was empty. It was downright bone-chilling how he could move his lips like that without it showing anywhere else on his face.
And as soon as it formed, it morphed into a frown. A very prominent one at that.
Also, that would be a thing, even if that would’ve technically counted as a win were the two the last ‘mons standing.
Odette hadn't known Earthquake to cause recoil damage like that. Then again, she hadn't seen such a powerful use of it like that before. Maybe once it reached such an intense magnitude, the 'mon got affected as well?
Dorien’s Pokémon are on Sacrilege, aren’t they? Since “freakishly powerful move that wraps around to harm the user” sounds very “performance-enhancing drugs” in profile.
In a swift motion, Dorien recalled Excadrill. He wordlessly pocketed the ball, then tossed out the next.
“Conkeldurr, I have some fresh meat for you,” he said darkly as the large Pokemon manifested from its ball. It looked like the same smirk Dorien was wearing just moments before. But that’s not what Odette was hanging on to at that moment.
Odette: “There’s no way his Excadrill should’ve been able to do that. Either an Earthquake that strong, or one that would keel him over afterwards. Dorien couldn’t possibly have been stupid enough to-”
Conkeldurr stood there, drool dripping from its mouth and drilling to the cracked floor. It scraped its feet on the floor, clanked its two rocks together, then charged.
Odette didn't quite realize what that thing could have possibly been moving to attack until she realized that, in her haze, she hadn't recalled Ange.
It was going for Ange. Ange was out. Why would it--?
Yeah, Dorien’s Pokémon are on Sacrilege. Like the level of power, the lack of lucidity, and the sheer viciousness involved all feel in line with what we’ve seen described of Pokémon that have ODed on it in earlier news clippings.
Without thinking, she recalled the chandelure, and threw out the first ball her hand landed on in her pocket.
"Attack! I don't care what you do, just beat it the fuck up!"
She pressed down on the release button. With a flash of light, Loïc manifested with his claws ready.
"KkkkkkkkkYUUU!" he spat. There was no hesitation as he sprung forward and landed scratch after scratch on Conkeldurr. Loïc played as rough as he could--going for the face, the neck, the stomach. He zigged and zagged around Conkeldurr, going at a speed that made it hard for it to land a hit on him.
I… don’t think that that’s going to be enough if I’m right about Conkeldurr also being on drugs here.
Grinding her teeth and trying to steady her breathing, Odette watched the battle intently. Not who her first choice would have been, but it was clearly a welcome one. This was an advantageous matchup. Why Dorien would send out a damn fighting type against her was beyond her frame of logic. With a team that was majorly made up of fairy types, and even one psychic, that was asking for a loss. Loïc clearly held the upper hand and moved much faster too. Conkeldurr was already starting to look really tired. The drool was coming in waves now, and it was blinking slowly–
Whelp, looks like we’re about to find out why Dorien sent out his Conkeldurr.
In a burst of speed Odette would have never expected from a Conkeldurr, it whipped around to face Loïc and slammed one of its rocks down on top of him. The world stood still for a moment, and all that could be heard were gasps from the other students.
Ah yes, this battle’s going swell right now for Odette.
"Loïc!" Odette screamed. Her lips curled back over her teeth, and she glared daggers at Dorien. "You motherfu--"
A shadow shot out from under the stone. It looped up behind Conkeldurr, and a large clawed hand rose from it. With a heavy swipe, Conkeldurr flew into a wall with a loud crash. It hit the floor, unmoving, as Loïc rose up from the floor. His head was flopped over like it'd been broken, but he otherwise looked unscathed.
… Didn’t see that coming. Remind me to never mess with Loïc in the future. .-.
"Kyu!" Loïc squeaked. He scurried back toward Odette, who was quick to kneel down to his height. She held her hands out to him, and he sat himself right between them.
"Good fucking gods," she said in a huff. "I thought he got you."
So how utterly livid is Dorien right about now on the other end of the battlefield.
Her breathing was rapid, she could hear her heartbeat in her ears, and she felt tears prickling the corners of her eyes. That was the most jarring thing--she wasn't a crier; she'd never been a crier. But the astronomical levels of frustration she was feeling were something she couldn't quite contain. Nothing about this battle was making sense anymore.
How was his Earthquake so powerful? Why did Conkeldurr go for Ange like that? Why did he even send out a Conkeldurr in the first place?
Again, Dorien’s Pokémon are on Sacrilege. A little surprised that someone who’s been playing amateur detective about Sacrilege ODs and related crimes wouldn’t have knowledge of what behaviors associated with Sacrilege consumption would entail.
The battle was still going on, so she had no time to sit and dwell on it. She didn't feel in the right mindset to be either, with the way her anger was meshing with her conscious thought, leaving her on the verge of damn tears. Absolutely pathetic.
Oh, I see that Odette’s finally coming to the same conclusion that I am
Dorien was in the shiny trade. Shinies were the ones showing up in sacrilege cases the most. Sacrilege had exploded onto the battle scene and had caused some Pokemon to do some...horrid things. Like eating their opponents and displaying unnatural levels of power.
"Hm. Conkeldurr's my best 'mon. But even I'm no match for a type difference."
Odette blinked a few times, keeping her eyes on Loïc.
If Dorien were involved in the shiny trade, it wouldn't be farfetched to say he would have had run-ins with sacrilege. In the case of what she'd just witnessed, it was almost certain he could be giving it to his Pokemon.
I like how it’s not even been a single chapter and Dorien has already cemented himself as a repulsive POS in just about every imaginable aspect. Very well done there.
"Kyuuu?" Loïc asked.
Odette allowed the thought to linger before she shook her head.
"It's down to you and Solene. You're locked in because I threw you in, and Sol's already taken a beating. Can you hold out?" she said firmly.
Odette, this is the point where you withdraw and demand that the nurses check your + Dorien’s Pokémon since his are behaving strangely. Since this strategy just screams “won’t end well”.
Loïc averted his eyes for a split second, then looked back at her.
"Kkkkkk," he whispered.
"I'll make it five pecha berries if you can one-shot Shadow Claw this next one," she said.
Words do not begin to describe how terrible of an idea this is, but I suppose incandescent rage and an ego would be pretty believable drivers for going down this overall strategy.
Loïc hopped up and down a few times in joy before turning back toward the battle. Odette looked up in time to see Dorien pulling his last ball out of his jacket pocket. He popped it open, and with a loud roar, a ferrothorn took form.
Ferrothorn didn't look particularly threatening. No drool, no signs of overpowering. At least from what she could see. But that still didn't make her feel any better. It was still a partial steel type. Not only could it take Loïc out, but it also wouldn't take much damage from Solene, and she was already in a damaged state.
She needed to take this slow. She couldn't rush into an attack again because that was how she lost Ange.
Loïc reached under his cloak and withdrew a battered poke doll, which he threw forward. As the doll hit the floor, a beam of purple light manifested between it and Loïc. Ferrothron reared up and slammed down on it, but it didn't budge.
That… doesn’t feel “excited” enough to be an ‘urged’ there. I would recommend either putting in an exclamation point for Dorien’s line here, or else turning urged into something like “ordered”.
Ferrothorn flew forward with another slam as Loïc raised his hands and spun around. A light purple glow took over his tiny body, and he suddenly looked more energized.
"Now Bulk Up," she said.
She heard Dorien inhale sharply. "Ferrothorn, break the damn sub." He truly sounded frustrated.
… Oh, so we’re going to see Odette mindgame Dorien, huh?
Ferrothorn launched one more attack on the doll, and Loïc inhaled a loud breath. The glow that surrounded him got brighter just as the doll burst under the force of Ferrothorn's attack.
"You better knock him out!" Dorien commanded. "Again!"
Loïc: “*Bruh, how is that tone not the definition of anti-motivation there?*”
"Dodge, then Shadow Claw, Loïc!" Odette yelled over him.
Loïc charged forward, bringing up his shadowy hands, which gradually grew in size. Ferrothorn launched upward again, growling with the intent to win it all. As it fell back toward the ground, it rolled out of the way of Loïc. He quickly righted himself and landed the clawed attack, and Ferrothorn skidded backward toward Dorien under the force of the hit.
Ferrothorn drove itself forward without a warning, and Loïc did the same. Claws outstretched, Loïc managed to get the hit off. He performed a rapid maneuver, ducking under Ferrothorn's raised body, and slashed it again against the back.
I’d say “wow, he’s actually doing it” but I’m not convinced that this isn’t going to go horribly pear-shaped in like a paragraph.
Ferrothorn skidded backward, cringing through the damage. Just when it looked like it wouldn't continue, it flew forward again and retaliated with a violent headbutt that sent Loïc flying.
… Not convinced that that’s gonna age well in about 2 minutes.
She pulled Loïc back and sent Solene forward. Solene blinked a few times, looking surprised that she'd been called out again. She visibly stiffened when she saw Ferrothorn, then sent a frantic look back at Odette.
"Iiitelle?" she gasped.
Odette shook her head. "Heal Pulse. Dodge for incoming attack."
Odette bristled. A dark-type move would prove very fatal here. "Dodge!"
Solene's eyes snapped open, and she rolled aside. Ferrothorn bounced off the floor it as it attempted to make contact, and it stumbled backward, unable to right itself due to how weak it had become.
I was going to go “wait, but Steel resists Psychic” but right, that was removed a couple generations back so this should deal neutral STAB here.
Solene held her hands in front of her, and a ball of pink light manifested in her hands. In a single wave of her arms, the ball expanded into a beam and struck Ferrothorn, sending it back again. It shook off the attack, and in what looked to be a final burst of energy, it ran at Solene.
Oh, so Odette does clinch things. And by a squeaker. Sure is a good thing that Dorien was starting to lose it at the end and wasn’t mindgaming Odette again, huh? ^^;
“Battle over! The winner, by one Pokemon, is Odette!” Mrs. Chuquete said. Applause from the class followed immediately after.
Odette let loose a shaky breath. She didn't realize she was trembling until she raised her hand to wipe sweat from her forehead. With the other, she recalled Solene.
“Great battle, Odette!” Dorien said. “I thought I’d had it in the bag given my typings, but I guess you’re just a stronger trainer overall.”
Dorien has the most obvious unsmile on his face right about now, doesn’t he?
She cut her gaze to him just in time to see him sauntering over with a happy-go-lucky grin. As if nothing had happened. As if everything about that battle was perfectly normal.
Well, never mind about the unsmile, but that’s just creepy how he can toggle his emotions like that .-.
He held his hand out to shake, but she didn’t accept it. Instead, she stared him in the face. Scanning, hunting for remnants of that hostility. That darkness. But it was gone. He was back to cocky, spoiled smiles. Acting like everything was okay. Back to thinking they were probably still flirting.
Dorien’s used to being able to do this to other people, isn’t he?
Odette turned, leaving him with his hand outstretched, and speed-walked back toward the bleachers.
“Absolutely remarkable work, you two,” Mrs. Chuquete said as Odette approached. “That might have been the most exciting battle I've seen in this class for a long time. Wow.”
Odette: “(Yeah, no crap when a third of the Pokémon on the field were on drugs…)” >_>;
Odette brushed past her, ignoring the praise as she clamoured up the steps to where she’d been sitting. She quickly shouldered her bag, then rushed back down, skipping steps as she went, before beelining for the doors. She avoided making eye contact with Dorien again as she passed him.
“Odette! Where are you going?” Mrs. Chuquete yelled after her.
“Bathroom. I’ll be back,” she replied, the words coming out in a rapid-fire slur. She was out in the hall after that.
That wasn’t necessarily a lie. She was headed to the bathroom. But the latter part was still up in the air. She wasn’t sure if she could sit through the rest of the class with Dorien in there, knowing what she thought she knew.
I mean, she probably couldn’t without snapping and having a violent episode, so… ^^;
She was thankful to find that all the stalls were empty upon kicking open the door to the girl's room. She rushed to one of the sinks and threw her bag down on the countertop. She then leaned against the sink, allowing her head to dangle and giving herself a chance to come down from wherever the hell her head was.
She couldn’t even bring herself to bask in her victory. She was far too worked up about everything else that had happened. From the conversation beforehand to the battle itself, to how he was just...perfectly fine afterward. Well, as perfectly fine as he could be. There was clearly something very wrong with him.
He had to be drugging his 'mon. That wasn't paranoia, was it? It couldn't have been. There was something wrong with those Pokemon.
No, it was pretty obvious to me too that his Pokémon were being drugged. Now you just need to prove it.
She lifted her head to stare at her reflection, watching herself take deep, steady breaths. Slowly but surely, her heart slowed, and her brain stopped spinning.
Maybe she wouldn’t go back to class. It was her last one for the day, anyway. She could say she had a bout of sickness and had to go home. Chuquete had a soft spot for the illness stories, and Odette knew she could pull it off well.
Right now, she didn’t want to be in there. She didn’t want to be in the building. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to run.
So, she supposed it would be a good time for her to visit her grandfather instead.
Whelp, Odette managed to make it through a chapter without her inner demon coming out into the open and managed to kick Dorien over despite an unfair matchup, so… small victories? ^^;
Boy was that a tense ride the entire time, that level of tension IMO is what is the main draw of the chapter since close to every moment in it felt gripping and like things were about to explode, especially the fight sequence with Dorien where Odette very quickly realizes that she’s a bit in over her head in a rigged fight that’s dangerous for her Pokémon. The characterization was also a big highlight, with Dorien being… well, Dorien as he’s known elsewhere in the community, and Odette struggling to keep a leash on her inner demons to the point where I legitimately thought at a couple moments in the chapter that Venira was just going to go “hello world” in front of a horrified gymnasium of onlookers.
As for weaknesses in this chapter, I noticed that there were some typos here and there, especially towards the tail end of the battle scene with Dorien. It probably would make sense to take some time to step through them and smooth those out. I also thought that there were a couple points where the paragraphs were a bit overly large and idea dense where it’d likely make sense to divide things up. Beyond being a little surprised at how little Odette knew about the signs of being under the influence of Sacrilege, I think that the chapter as a whole was put together pretty well, and I honestly might be overlooking a couple issues here and there from how much fun I was having with it.
Good work, @Sinderella . While it appears I’ll need to wait a bit longer to see Venira properly, the chapter was still a fun ride, and it portends some wild events in the near future since Odette’s normal life is rapidly spinning apart in live-time thus far.
Chapter 4 - She's Unabashedly Nosy & Chapter 5 - How Could This Possibly Be a Good Idea?
Back for more WSBS!
In this chapter we meet Odette's grandfather. It's obvious as soon as Odette walks into his office that they're close and I thought you did a nice job getting across their bond, from splitting oreos, to Odette taking self-defense training at his instigation, to her being comfortable discussing her anger flare-ups with him. Grandparent-granddaughter relationships aren't always ones you see foregrounded, so that was a wholesome treat.
The one obvious chasm between them is that he's not telling her everything he knows about the sacrilege investigation. Pretty reasonably, in my opinion! I'm kind of surprised that Odette thinks she's entitled to know more than the public just because she happens to be his granddaughter--I'd have assumed it's kind of drilled into you when your family to someone in a position of high public trust that there's some things that have to stay in the office. There's a lot of emphasis in this chapter on Odette having her grandfather's lying skills, which I imagine is about to be relevant. I think you could have gotten the point across a little more subtly, though--It felt a bit like the chapter hung a big flashing neon sign saying "Odette is good at social deception." Her grandfather doesn't even convince her, so it felt a bit odd for the narrative to laud his lying skills in the same breath Odette's not buying it for a second.
The scene at the end of chapter four, where Noel keeps calling and the rotom phone keeps cheerfully announcing his calls was humorously tense. Oh, the perils of modern technology!
Virtue Corp, uh, sounds like it could totally be a name chosen by the same mind who thinks it's smart and cool to name pokemon after the seven deadly sins. The sealed wax and cursive also match the pomposity and extravagance we got from the prologue. It's definitely not unprecedented in pokemon history to have secret cult bosses playing all sides, so I guess I'll stay tuned on that front.
I'm not sure I was totally convinced by Odette's decision to dive into the investigation. Distracting yourself from your recently flaring up fits of anger by hanging out more with someone who pisses you off every time he opens his mouth? The urgency also seemed a bit lacking. Odette thinks the letter shows that they're close on Enigma's trail, but then says she's worried that nothing is changing--I didn't entirely follow that, since presumably if they were right about to swoop in for the kill, they wouldn't be advertising it left and right. I'd have thought seeing that letter would have the opposite effect of reassuring her that her grandfather is clearly deep into this and not just ignoring it. Odette's decision to not consult with her pokemon also troubled me. If Dorian's feeding his pokemon the drug that makes pokemon go wild and hurt other pokemon, and she's going to start hanging out with him more, there's a high chance she's putting her pokemon in danger just as much, if not more so, than herself. Unless she's planning to not involve her pokemon at all, it seems like it's their decision to make too.
Finally, on a structural note, I think these could probably work well as one chapter. Chapter five is a long scene that follows on the tail of where we break for chapter four and follows right up on the same ideas. Where chapter four doesn't have much of a resolution, chapter five ends with Odette deciding to get involved in the investigation. The only reason I mention it is that after the length of your other chapters, chapter five feels a bit short!
“Well, for starters, his family’s in the shiny trade. That alone should get them thrown in prison.”
Bernard rolled his eyes and rubbed his left temple. He didn't give away any implication that this information might have bothered him. He was too damn good at acting like nothing was wrong here. “I’m not entirely in disagreement there, Swanna,” he huffed. “Unfortunately, that would get me sued.”
“The ones that have been in office have been trying to get the trade abolished since you were in Vienna’s stomach.”
She pursed her lips in disdain. Twenty-two years of trying to get that establishment overturned, and nothing? And shiny involvement in the sacrilege crisis was getting swept under the rug? There were pieces here, and she couldn't make them fit.
I'm not sure what pieces are so hard to put together there. If the shiny trade is suspiciously resilient to legislative enactments, it follows that its lobbyists would be good at keeping its potential entanglement with a drug crisis out of public view.
It took Ange out in an Earthquake. It was so well aimed, it was scary. You can't fucking aim Earthquake like that. There's no magnitude high enough for that kind of control,” she explained.
Saying that Dorien's pokemon had unprecedented control over a powerful attack seems to actually cut against the idea that the pokemon was high on drugs that make them rampage around. Increased power, not increased control, seems like it would make sense as evidence.
"You know how psychopaths are? How they can just turn off and on?" she asked. "We started talking before class, and everything was fine. But he progressively got more and more off. Then during the battle, it was like an entire mood shift," she explained. She brought her finger up to her braid and began to fiddle with it. Her eyes moved to Bernard's wall of plaques, and she began to look them over while she allowed herself to speak.
"Like, something just shut off. His look was different, his voice was different. Different person. There were even points where it felt like he was trying to grate on me. Threaten me."
I'm not sure how a mood switch that comes like turning on a light would reflect the drug use either. Unless he somehow took a dose right before the battle, wouldn't his behavior under the drug be fairly consistent?
“If you must know, I’m also keeping it locked up for the safety of my fellow Kalos citizens,” she said. She brought the bottle back to her mouth. “I’ve been flaring up a lot lately,” she muttered into the glass.
His response was slow. “Should I be worried? Do we need to look into you going back to therapy?”
That got a scoff out of her. "They were never on the table to begin with, grandpa. My body's fucked up as it is." A pause. "I'm just fucked up as it is."
She'd always been a quiet, well-behaved kid most of the time. But, when she exploded? The schoolyard fights and tantrums were abundant. It was troubling enough that it scared her mother and grandparents. Doctor visits chalked it up to anger management issues resulting from a certain hormone deficiency--the same hormone that left her so underdeveloped in more ways than one--as the doctors had put it. They put her on medication for a while, but all it did was exacerbate her health problems.
Odette and Noel turned to look at the far end of the room, next to the closet, where Enora, Isaur, and Solene were playing Twister with Noel’s partners Braviary, Talonflame, and Vullaby. Solene, the leader she was, had taken to spinning the wheel and making the calls. The latter five were already twisted and turned all around each other.
She could practically hear Solene and Enora screeching in her ears about how this was a bad idea. Isaur would most likely be all for it. Ange would simply go along with whatever, and she was still fairly certain all Loïc could consciously think about was pecha berries and crawling in the air ducts. She wasn’t exactly concerned about breaking the news to him.
She decided, then and there, she didn’t care about the stern talking-to in-store by her oldest Pokemon friends.
I think a lot of what makes it so page turning is the prose. As someone who can barely tell bad prose from good prose unless it’s REALLY bad prose I didn’t think I’d ever be here commenting about prose, but here I am! You do a really good job of using the prose to put us into Odette’s head, almost such that we see everything she sees, and feel it too. This really shines in her interactions with Dorian, where you utilize physical descriptions and all the little coping mechanisms Odette uses to keep herself from flying off the handle to really get across what a creep this guy is and how much she vehemently dislikes him. It’s also really good at describing things that go on in the background, so we never feel like the characters are just standing in a foggy room or a white void and acting out their lines.
But yes, back to Dorian. I appreciate that you haven’t (yet) made him like Actually Abusive or an Axe Murderer just to show how evil he is—he’s just… a creep. Mysogonistic, possessive, rude, likes to make comments that are very obnoxious and demeaning but skirting the line just enough that he can socially scoot by. Add that to his huge fortune, sense of entitlement, and the fact that he’s so clearly involved in Weird Shit… sells it more than much else could.
But I do still feel like they’re not really… there most of the time? 95% of the focus is on Odette and her circle of contacts as she digs into this conspiracy, but for a world where pokemon are a thing it often feels like they’re not really there until they need to be. The Elite’s shiny party is the most we actually see of pokemon in this world, and I feel like that’s a little strange Imo. BUT, I can also write it off as a style thing. I know you have plans to make this original, and like I said above I can easily see this becoming that. With that in mind, maybe it’s for the best to keep the legally dubious magical animals in the background :v
Yeah I guess I am trying to mess with this more, because I do feel like this story is meant to focus more on "humans handling conspiracies in a world inhabited by Pokemon" rather than focus solely on the Pokemon. I think in later arcs where battling becomes more relevant, they'll be there, but for the moment, the focus is the humans, with their partners, dealing with a conspiracy.
The other thing I should point out in terms of criticism is that sometimes your chapter lengths get really out of whack. I can definitely see why this was done—they feel as long as they need to be, and none of them feel like they rush or draw everything out. But when “long as it needs to be” means there’s a spectrum of 14K to 2K for chapter lengths and it seems to fluctuate, I wonder if that doesn’t mean there’s some worth in pacing the chapters to be a bit more consistent lengthwise.
Oh yeah for sure, I'm well aware of this. When I do rewrites I will DEFINITELY trim and merge chapters to make things more consistent, and from here on out I will be splitting bigger scenes if they get over a certain word count, but yeah. Acknowledged and will eventually fix lol.
One more criticism I had, though this one’s more a legitimate question than anything—what separates the rotom phone from all Odette’s other pokemon? (if this was covered earlier then I apologize, it’s been a long while since I’ve read those) There clearly seems to be a rotom in there, so it’s kinda odd that all the others roam free but rotom is just stuck in there, being a sentient computer forced to do Odette’s social media bidding forever. I know it’s canon tech and maybe rotom is comfy in there or something, but that’s always stuck out to me as weird ground.
I think I made some edits to indicate that the Rotom in Odette's phone is being rehabilitated after an injury, so it's possessing the phone for that purpose. It doesn't battle because it's vibing and recovering.
On the other side of the spectrum, though, I’m not quite sure what to make of Clovis. His sarcasm and humility was a nice break from everyone else in that room, though I’m not sure what’s up with him dodging the questions about figure skating. Something to do with that contact he wouldn’t call? I was prepared not to take his first appearance at face value since we got a lot of it through Odette and Odette basically spent that chapter UwUing for him, so I thiiiink her perception of him was inflated just a bit there.
Secondly, it presents us with a mystery in the form of the letter her grandfather has. It gives me the vibe that there’s even more to the situation than the police let on - if I interpreted it correctly, they have some form of informant. So, on top of the already preexisting mystery of why the reports are getting scrubbed (still standing by my suspicion that someone with power and/or money is responsible), we now have the mystery of the informant. Seems like a great way for Odette to get herself into trouble.
I wondered about the sexual assault content warning, but I think this is tastefully handled and adds a dimension to Odette's character - not so much the assault itself as the fact this trauma halted her performance career and keeps making her sick thinking of it, but she's still doggedly trying to work at the theater and recover her drive, unwilling to actually give up on it.
I'm curious if Odette knows anything at all about Florent and Team Enigma and that's why the sacrilege thing caught her interest - it's pretty ambiguous here, and may well be meant to be. If not, still curious what happened after the prologue - clearly Florent failed to kill her, but there's also no sign of Venira. Will be interesting to see how that all comes into it.
Odette obsessing over Clovis's figure-skating when she does her research. It's been a while since I read the last chapter, and to me it was very clear that Clovis embellished a sport he did in his teens to impress a professional dancer. Only later, when Odette brought up that he seemed to almost panic when he noticed his slip-up did I believe that it was not just some show to impress her. Maybe that could be brought up earlier?
So in that chapter, Odette hasn't told Clovis she's a dancer until AFTER he drops the fact that he figure skated, and it was meant to be portrayed as a slip of the tongue that he panicked through.
The plot continues to thicken as lore gets dumped. I was not expecting this fic to go in this direction at all though, lol. But I can dig it, so until I get the mojo for the next chapter. Which I kinda did then distractions hit.
Though. When Dorien got uncomfy close to her after she woke up again and her fight-or-flight kicked in, I'm surprised her anger didn't reignite again. Same when she was confronted with Draculamon. She was actually afraid (which is a completely normal and logical thing to be), but I figured from the way her temper has been built up so far, that she gets complete tunnelvision in these instances. Like, she doesn't even think about her own safety if she gets to kick this thing's ass because she is so angry.
Yeah that was more meant to show that she's a little out of it after POSSESSION, and kind of meant to juxtapose the intensity of what happened after Desmocula came at her, cuz at that point she was just.....yeah, kinda panicky, kinda on her way out mentally LOL
Again, I'm totally not the right person to talk about that. If you want to dive deeper into this issue, I suggest handing this chapter to either kint or persephone. They have very based takes on these issues.
Also, re Enora. The pokedex has this line: "It sends a soothing aura from its ribbonlike feelers to calm fights." Wouldn't that make Enora the perfect anti-anger-issue machine? She should have been able to calm Odette down on many occasions, especially when she was down and out after the confrontation. Or do something against Dorien other than hiss at him.
Not only that, Clovis seems to be adopted by grandpa, which would make him Odette's step-brother. And I've seen enough anime to know where this is going.
Though, I didn't quite get why Odette was so ashamed of her blood pressure being discussed. She acts like it's an STD and could possibly end her entire life, when, at least to me, it just seems like a minor inconvenience that's pretty controllable.
She's very "ew medicine related things and illness" and very self-conscious about her illnesses (at least in relation to her trying to woo Clovis) so she's just embarrassed, if anything.
I did kind of want the second paragraph there to be a little more visceral, more show and less tell - you've been describing the physical effects this anger has on her really nicely, but then don't describe those effects receding, just that "the less she focused on the idea of hunting the drivers down". Feel like it'd be more evocative to say as she pictured the stage the tingle in her back began to fade into a dull throb, the awful tension in her lungs loosened a little, etc.
For the prose in general, I love it! It's certainly something that could make a novice fanfic writer would take inspiration from! Overall, it feels and looks like it's certainly refined! The choice of words that you use for your story fits the overall mood!
As for the story, I love the premise of it! The menacing nature of Florent and his Gullavite certainly gives me feelings of fear and suspense, the way he treats his men, as well as his son is fitting for a man with lust for power. The description of Gullavite is terrifying as well! From what I can understand though, this story takes place in the 90's up to modern times? I've read Chapter 1 for a short brief before resting my sleepy head
I will admit I have trouble getting a read on Dorien. He truly does seem to be a dumbfuck like 90% of the time; absent the whole "questioning Odette about her rapist and then drugging her so she forgets" thing, I would 100% buy that he's just a moron. But that one thing--! His whole dynamic with Clovis has me so immensely confused. He would need to be literally as dumb as a brick to think that Clovis is anywhere close to a friend, so either he's putting up with Clovis' disdain for some ulterior motive, or he really is a moron. I wonder if he's got his own sin pokémon in there and that's what's showing through whenever he gets his super-spooky aura; if so, maybe that's where the moments of competence are coming from and all the ridiculousness with Clovis is just what Dorien's like in his natural state. Imagine being an incredibly powerful ancient manifestation of sin or whatever and then you get stuck with just the world's biggest idiot for a host. In any case, if this is all acting, Dorien plays the buffoon really fucking well.
Dorien is.......something. I think I've gone in and made some edits about him seeming more competent, because while yes, he is kind of acting an ass for a reason, I want to make it more clear that he is indeed acting an ass and not really give room to think he might just be dumb. Impulsive, yes, but definitely up to something.
It's a minor thing, but our introduction to Odette's mom rather struck me. I can see why Florent might have wanted to forget about her, lol. "What? Who? No clue who you're talking about." Sure, Florent. But while Odette says her mom's always there for her when she needs her despite her irreverant personality, Odette definitely doesn't feel like she can share what she's gotten herself into with her mom here, and I wonder how much she was able to confide in her about heavy stuff like the murder. Feels like things can be kind of lonely for her sometimes.
I've put some line edits under the spoilers. Note that I've omitted any talk about excess commas... I think you've kind of heard a lot about those from various people, heh. Not sure what would be the most useful to you there, whether maybe that should be a beta reader thing or what--let me know if you want me to dig into them! For this review I just skipped it.
Just wanted to also point out that Solene, the Gothitelle (in case I spelt her name wrong!) used 5 moves in the battle. Reflect, Charm, Psychic, Protect and Heal Pulse. Not sure if there's an in-universe explanation for this I just missed/haven't seen yet but just bringing it to your attention.
On a more personal note, tonight I had to go to an extended family event, meaning I had to deal with loud noises and conversations and people, which is ahhhhhh. The thing that got me through it was Odette whispering in my head things like "Look in the mirror, kid. You're a bad bitch. You're the baddest bitch. You can do this." Honestly, it got me through the night. So um... thanks.
Dorien quite literally made my skin crawl. Even before you had Odette point it out with her grandfather, I though his behaviour was really damn odd. Great job, I hate him completely.
My only real ”criticism” is that the battle against Dorien himself felt kinda wonky. Idk, action writing can be hard so it’s difficult sometimes to write a compelling battle. Maybe it was the pacing, maybe it’s that the battle felt like it was almost ’weightless’ if that makes any sense. Maybe it’s just me reading it on a night of 2 hrs sleep lol.
That's fair, I am trying to work on it, but being the focus here is "humans uncover a pokemon world conspiracy," it's meant to focus more on the humans doing their thing with the Pokemon helping out when they can. In the future they probably will become more relevant, esp in Alola, but for now, yeah, humans!
There haven't been too many battles, but the ones that have appeared have been good, so I'm not sure why you're so worried about that. The gyarados fight wasn't much of a fight, but I think it works better the way it was written rather than if you had done a more traditional battle style for the point you were trying to get across with it.
I'm really liking Odette a lot, she's a lot more approachable than I'd anticipated. She's cute (her distress over her crushes), badass (not tolerating bullshit), and a lot kinder than the impression I've had of her this entire time. I'm also really liking Clovis; he's much more mysterious than I'd expected, but it's really early on in the story so I guess that's to be expected. Noel is more memorable than I'd anticipated, too, and honestly his interactions with Dorian have been hilarious. Speaking of Dorian, my lord. It's guys like him that make me embarrassed to be a Straight White Dude. Like damn, I must hate him at least as much as Tetra hates Sebastian. Which is about what I'd expected, given that I knew about him prior to reading. I'm getting the feeling that Acadia isn't going to be a regular for long, but that may just be the lack of storycrafter answers for her. Bernard is the real question mark here for me. He's clearly in deep in whatever is going on, and although Clovis is too, we know Clovis is going to be significant going forward. I was not prepared for Bernard to be relevant, so that's something of a welcome surprise.
I do want to open this up by saying I think your editing turnaround is insane on these; the amount of new material in this on such a short turnaround is really impressive. Editing is a scary beast but in this case I think it really, really worked to your favor. I had a great time on this chapter! At some point I'll probably re-read the story to get a sense for the revised timeline/new things here, but in general I started with chapter 9 since 9/10 are the ones that were most dramatically affected by everything, I think.
Odette definitely still feels very impulsive ("if someone dies or tries to shoot us, we'll dip" lmao), but I think in this version there's a lot more understanding that she's trying not to + she's aware of what's at stake, and it makes her motivations feel a lot more coherent as a result.
In general I think the Enora conversation flows a lot better, too + feels a lot less coercive. I wish the conclusion here was a little more self-aware. She's not just asking Enora to watch Odette get hurt again; she's asking Enora to be put at risk of falling into a pretty similar situation that Odette was in, tbh--I don't really think there's a 1:1 human analogue for evolution coercion but it is basically someone permanently stripping away your bodily autonomy in a way that would probably be hugely traumatizing. And of course Odette's doing everything to make sure that doesn't happen, but imo especially since it opens up with the auction it's pretty clear that Enora's in a lot more danger here than Odette, and in generally is being treated a lot differently? This is a room of people who are buying and selling people like Enora; it's basically targeted human trafficking, and Enora/Odette really don't know what rules these guys play by. I'm actually not quite sure where Odette really thinks anyone is going to watch her get hurt again--as far as she knows, she's not in any physical danger, right?
Maybe he just asks Enora tbh?
"The point I'm trying to make is that ... well, do you want to be here?"
[and maybe move the resolution to Enora/Odette's argument here, have Enora make the realization here that this is a chance to help people, so that when she agrees it feels less like it's just Odette talking to her in the moment and more that it's been something she's been considering] "Vee!"
"No shiny pokemon would choose to walk in here unless they really cared. She's here for you." Pause, cigarette. "And you wouldn't invite her to sit next to you and listen to her opinion unless you cared for her too." < idk really cheesey but something closer to that might feel a bit more earned + provide a bit better basis for what "care" actually means
Vienna plz, but also I'm intrigued by who Odette's father is and how did she end up....messing with him. It's Professor Oak, I'm sure of it. Move over Ash, "Prof. Oak is Odette's father" the new theory in town.
On a more serious note, I do think that you captured Odette's feelings about what happened with that case well. Case in point:
Just know that I very much enjoyed the Dorien chapter. His violent tendencies are... yikes. But then again, his insecurity and second guessing while pretending to be everyone's friend is very relatable.
Anyway, we've got some good progression and indication that things aren't as what Bernand or the police say, and Odette and Noel have more clues. Two more and they can figure out Blue's Clues to stop the drug ring.
Well, you weren't kidding. That answered a couple questions, but certainly raised more than that. Coming out of these I'm more sympathetic to Odette, and somehow want to punt Dorien into a volcano more than I did an hour ago.
As for stuff I wasn’t so hot on, it’s mostly the described things I spotted in the line-by-line. Some of it is subjective nitpicking, some of its is small mechanical goofs here or there. If there was one thing in particular that stood out to me, it’s a few moments where I wasn’t really sure what was going on from lack of description or context to provide grounding. I’m not sure what I’d suggest there, since I think you’re going for some sort of ‘reveal of a mystery’ thing in WSBS based off the vibes I picked up, but I guess it might make sense to give some bits a once over to see if there’s anything you can share that doesn’t give the game away too fast? Like the particulars of Noel’s gambit to get to LCPD’s case file database in particular feel like it’s missing some deets that would contextualize why he did things the way he did. Since it feels like there was something about the circumstances about LCPD’s setup and his in that was meant to prevent “lol printscreen and flash drive” from being a workable solution, but it wasn’t really communicated in the text.
Well that was certainly a disquieting ride, though very atmospheric and suspenseful. I get the feeling that this story as a whole is meant to go places since it seems like it’s dealing very front and center with the unseemly underbelly side of a region and society that’s portrayed in very bright and colorful terms canonically. And that’s before getting into the creepy stuff going on with Blood Legendaries going on in the background. It might take me a while to get back to things, but the first two chapters did pique my interest about where this story is going, since Odette's inevitable collision with Florent’s world sounds like it’s going to be an… experience when it happens.
The change in mood and the tension is presented well here. But wow. the people battling didn't even heal their mons. Wonder if those mons are being forced to battle, as opposed to both trainer and Pokemon wanting to battle. They're really stupid and think they'll heal by themselves, consider them above "commoners" so they don't visit centers, and/or they're messed up people.
Also loving how you've mixed in Odette's emotional crush in there. It's done well, as I haven't found it distracting from the flow at all! (And I love how even she realizes she needs to rein herself in and focus, hah.)
As for things that I was less fond of, there’s not a whole lot since I thought the chapter was pretty well written. There were a couple typos and missing words here or there that could’ve been found by yeeting the chapter text into Google Docs or a comparable program with a built-in grammar checker, but those were pretty infrequent. I think that the bigger issue was that there were some sections that were a little hard to follow or visualize from lack of description, but I’ll leave it to you to decide whether or not it’s worth your time and energy to tweak that.
Anyway! Even though Dorien is oblivious to Odette's reservations, they FIGHT! In a VERY INTENSE BATTLE. Where Dorien is very clearly giving his Pokemon the DRUGS! And Odette's gonna PROVE IT with her GRANDPA. So the question is, who is Dorien gonna get got by first? Them?
Fuck Dorien. Eat shit, Dorien. I hope he gets food poisoning from his overhyped caviar. Hate him. Hate him. He's a creep. He's a jerk. He's pretentious. He is levels of problematic heretofore unseen, so uh... mission accomplished? I stan Noel though.
I get the sneaking suspicion that Virtue Corps is like Aether Paradise, hiding dark secrets behind a pristine facade. Is this........ our way to get to Alola?
Overall thoughts! You do a really good job at quickly establishing your characters making them all feel distinct from one another. Of course, I'm already familiar with a lot of them from Storycrafter and RPs and the like, but the text itself still did a lot to get their personalities across quickly. Odette and Noel are of course the stars of the show, and I can already tell I'm gonna love their dynamic. Also, I really enjoy how much attention is paid to the Pokemon characters and keeping them involved in things.
So... I already knew what we were in for when Dorien showed up, but I still had to laugh when it looked like he and Odette had decent chemistry for about five seconds before all pretenses were completely shattered. Also, I gotta say... I genuinely didn't expect Odette to win their battle. Hot damn it had me on the edge of my seat. Oh, and I also have to say that I cringed throughout the entirety of that "date." Terrible. Zero stars.
Also, Vienna is a complete disaster of a human who also had me cringing nonstop, but I did like how she got to have some heartening moments with Odette. :P Really captures the whole "unusually young mother" vibe in their dynamic, which is to say, she's one of the least mature characters in the story. xD
FUCKING DORIEN?! I feel like this may have been spoiled for me from a storycrafter or something but I forgot about it, because this surprised me in a way that was like... familiar. But this does explain his creepy battle style. Also the vice dust! Odette doesn't seem to remember she had that dust used on her in the car!
It wasn't until this point that I realized that Enigma was actively hunting down people who catch shinies, via these city checkpoints. I'll admit that this portion got a little fuzzy for me... why can't non-Kalosians catch shinies outside of Kalos? Purely on the off-chance that they happen to be involved in an underground secret smuggling ring? Sure it makes them easier to slip through the cracks and therefore harder for Enigma to find them, but it does feel to me a little bit... specific a law.
Either way, it's interesting to note that Odette thinks she hasn't been being tracked, when the (updated) prologue makes it pretty clear that Florent has had her under a constant magnifying glass since she was a baby, even though she doesn't realize it.
So i think i mentioned that the law states Kalosians can't leave other region checkpoints with shinies because, as implied in previous chapters, Kalos is the only one with a law FOR the shiny trade remaining a public institution, so Kalosians are barred from taking shinies from other regions. It's meant to protest it, in a sense.
Also interesting to note that sacrilege can be used on non-shinies, too. I do wonder how that affects normal pokemon, then, if they don't have a blood-type to power up. AND interesting that non-shinies can still harbor a blood-type! That's almost for sure going to be a surprise thing used late in the fic somewhere, somehow, I guarantee it.
Anyway, something that wasn't touched upon in their conversation, but this means that while manning the checkpoints, Enigma can also wipe the records of the shinies caught/reported there, too. Because they have to actually record the shiny for Enigma to know they're there, but if they don't delete the record after using the vice dust, it will still show that shiny in the possession of the amnesiac trainer. I imagine they're probably monitoring the checkpoints to either recruit kids who catch them, or to steal the shinies themselves, so in order to separate the pokemon from the trainer, they must be able somehow to do that in addition to the memory-wiping dust. They have far more control than anyone seems to realize. I wonder though how no one has yet noticed that records seem to keep appearing and then disappearing, and that it's only happening to shiny records? If they're not manning every station, some have to be more difficult to remove, right? And don't those records have to get processed/transferred to some central storage? Maybe they just have some inside man there, I guess. Hmmmm.
Oh yeah this is meant to get you thinking "holy shit they're actually way more powerful than people realize" because they can just access all this shit and have enough resources to soar under the radar.
One minor gripe I have this chapter is this part here; it does seem to be a little out of character for Odette, I think. She's a smart girl, I'd think she'd know better than to wonder why this is all being kept under wraps...
- What are all of the Blood mon's secondary types and abilities?
- Does a non-Shiny possessed by a Blood type become Shiny?
- Do blood-possessed mons become Blood type? (So is Enora Fairy/Blood type?)
- What do these Blood types look like?
- How good are Blood types in competitive?
- How would they look in mainline!Pokémon? (not me drawing this out)
- Do blood types factor into Blood types? Do Pokémon have blood types? (I know in real life, different animals have different numbers of blood types)
- What is the type-enhancing item (ex. Mystic Water, Miracle Seed, etc.) of Blood types?
- BLOOD Z-CRYSTAL??????? - BLOOD TERA TYPE HAT???????????
Nope, non-shinies who gain a blood type do not become shiny, it is solely a mutation that happens if one is born with one.
No, even though the blood type possesses a pokemon, it doesn't change the host pokemon's type because they are separate entities.
I'll post pictures later LOL
Probably scary good, I have plans for that in future arcs
Friends and I are making a ROM hack with that! I will eventually have a good answer lol
No, your blood type doesn't have anything to do with the actual pokemon, blood is blood LOL
Blood lmfao. No in all honesty probably iron supplements or sweets, deadass
SOMEDAY
I did touch on this in chat, it's a unicursal hexagram with a jewel at each point that represents each of the 7 sins. The middle one would change depending on the mon using it and the sin it committed.
It did take me out of the story a bit that Florent has to go and do his baby-murder personally. I would have that he'd have people for that? It seems like a pretty big risk to do that kind of thing personally, especially when you have your own handy personal cult. Obviously it has to happen that way for him to have his big change of heart, but I would have liked a little more narrative justification for why it has to be him personally. I also wasn't entirely sure how recapturing Venira would have worked if he had killed Odette. That sounds like something that could potentially cause a ruckus if Venira resisted him.
Another thing I appreciated was how Florent has a soft-spot for his kids . . . for a very given value of soft-spot. Putting the memory-eating spirit of Greed in your kid definitely merits the 'A+ parenting' tag. When he realized how much the grunt-eating episode scarred Armel I began to think, oh, a glimmer of empathy. His solution? Tear out that page in the diary, so Armel can't remember it. Oof. Even in his moment of getting heart-eyed over Odette, his inner monologue is very focused on shaping her and owning her, how she can become a vessel for his ideas and extension of himself. It's a nice illustration of the principle that caring for other people is not inherently redemptive. Florent's twisted affection for Odette certainly adds another layer to what I'm sure will be an inevitable confrontation. He's not just the big-bad who wants the pokemon she'd got in her, he's also Darth Vader her wanna-be loving dad. Honestly, if expanding your base of criminal operations to another country isn't the definition of responsible parenting, what is?
YYAAAAAAAYYYY this is exactly what I was going for, and I'm really glad that "tears page out of book" moment meant something, cuz I thought it really drove home his twisted dad intentions kekw
Why's "azure" capitalized here? If that's the name of the sea, it would be the Azure Sea. If it's being used as an adjective, it wouldn't be capitalized.
Boy was that a tense ride the entire time, that level of tension IMO is what is the main draw of the chapter since close to every moment in it felt gripping and like things were about to explode, especially the fight sequence with Dorien where Odette very quickly realizes that she’s a bit in over her head in a rigged fight that’s dangerous for her Pokémon. The characterization was also a big highlight, with Dorien being… well, Dorien as he’s known elsewhere in the community, and Odette struggling to keep a leash on her inner demons to the point where I legitimately thought at a couple moments in the chapter that Venira was just going to go “hello world” in front of a horrified gymnasium of onlookers.
As for weaknesses in this chapter, I noticed that there were some typos here and there, especially towards the tail end of the battle scene with Dorien. It probably would make sense to take some time to step through them and smooth those out. I also thought that there were a couple points where the paragraphs were a bit overly large and idea dense where it’d likely make sense to divide things up. Beyond being a little surprised at how little Odette knew about the signs of being under the influence of Sacrilege, I think that the chapter as a whole was put together pretty well, and I honestly might be overlooking a couple issues here and there from how much fun I was having with it.
I'm so mald cuz I grammarly'd this chapter too!!! Anyway, fixed. And i didn't think of that, I figured she'd just be so caught up in battle it wouldn't dawn on her until she had a moment to think about it, which i think is what happened.
I'm not sure I was totally convinced by Odette's decision to dive into the investigation. Distracting yourself from your recently flaring up fits of anger by hanging out more with someone who pisses you off every time he opens his mouth? The urgency also seemed a bit lacking. Odette thinks the letter shows that they're close on Enigma's trail, but then says she's worried that nothing is changing--I didn't entirely follow that, since presumably if they were right about to swoop in for the kill, they wouldn't be advertising it left and right. I'd have thought seeing that letter would have the opposite effect of reassuring her that her grandfather is clearly deep into this and not just ignoring it. Odette's decision to not consult with her pokemon also troubled me. If Dorian's feeding his pokemon the drug that makes pokemon go wild and hurt other pokemon, and she's going to start hanging out with him more, there's a high chance she's putting her pokemon in danger just as much, if not more so, than herself. Unless she's planning to not involve her pokemon at all, it seems like it's their decision to make too.
Her anger was long kept at bay by her hobbies of dance and singing
Bad thing happened that made her not want to dance and sing so she's angry again
Bernard suggests she find something else to do completely unrelated to performing (i.e. her job)
She finds information on a crisis she'd been following for a while, decides to let THAT be the distraction
I did add an extra scene at the end of that really short chapter of her discussing things with her team and deciding that "yeah Dorien's going to drive me fucking nuts but I'm better off throwing my anger toward getting him sent to jail than stewing in it like i am now."
They do eventually discuss in later chapters (at least, her and Enora do in depth), but I added some exposition to show how Isaur, Ange, and Loic (the more, uh........reckless ones) are p much in from the start, while Solene and Enora are like "bitch are you fr rn"
Also in regard to your critique about Odette being mad about Bernard not telling her shit, I will also be tweaking that some! Thank you!
Finally, on a structural note, I think these could probably work well as one chapter. Chapter five is a long scene that follows on the tail of where we break for chapter four and follows right up on the same ideas. Where chapter four doesn't have much of a resolution, chapter five ends with Odette deciding to get involved in the investigation. The only reason I mention it is that after the length of your other chapters, chapter five feels a bit short!
Noooo this was just meant to show that they're close, and that Odette's mom/Noel's parents is still looking out for her even though she's in fact an adult, but I think I over-infantilized it. I tweaked this dialogue to be a little more "well you're an adult but we're still going to feed you sorry about it :)"
He doesn't nickname his pokemon? He strikes me as the type of person who nicknames everything.
He really does but I felt like the extra nicknames would make things a little muddled? Idk I'm still chewing on him nicknaming his Pokemon, but we'll see lol.
I didn't quite follow why she's bashful about saying this.
She wasn't bashful about saying that line specifically, she was bashful about the thing that had happened before (admitting to her grandpa that she was worried about him and watching him react to it, because omg she emoted), but I did add a line to further separate the two.
Wow, you put out a new scene wicked fast! I read it before moving on to chapter six. I thought it worked well to explore her pokemon's different reactions on a more individual level and also give Odette a platform to justify her choice more. I did find it a bit icky that Odette keeps going on about how it's totally your choice guys c'mon I'd never make you, but her narration at the end makes clear that Enora really, really doesn't want to do this but will feel obligated to by Odette, and Odette knows this. Makes the part at the end where Odette talks about hard-won unanimity a little skeeve, especially in a story that's concerned with pressure and consent. I wonder if Enora could initially refuse and perhaps change her mind later as things escalate, as I'm sure they will!
This was a fun way to have her put it--guess that theater mindset creeps into everything!
6. Psychopath
Well, Odette's plan is going swimmingly, I don't know why anyone doubted her.
Ahem.
I liked that we started with a time skip. No need for us to experience every painful initial interaction--you take us right to the one where something happens. But before I get to that, a wild Odette's mom appeared! It was nice to see the relaxed relationship they have and their general very open communication, even if Odette is keeping her extremely well-advised 'seduce Dorien --> ??? --> solve crime' plan from her. I definitely see where Odette's picked up some of her habits. Mom having lots of designer dresses implies what I've always gotten the sense of--Odette's family may not be the 1% of the 1%, but they're well off enough that Dorien's world isn't fundamentally unfamiliar to Odette, it's more that she doesn't like it so she makes a conscious effort not to participate, like with track-suits. But she's aware of the difference between designer and not, and when push comes to shove, she seems to know how to walk the walk. No 'what fork do I use' table shock here.
Dorien's predictably horrible. I'm getting the sense that he's being like that on purpose, since his reaction to Odette blowing up seems to make clear that it's the one he wanted--striving for the douche Olympics with misogyny and condescension seem like a pretty good strategy to make Odette blow up, but when that doesn't work after a few days he switches to something more explosive. The way Dorien's reactions are described this chapters, these kinds of sudden shifts to a different persona, after reading the revised prologue that's reading less psychopath to me and more sin pokemon host. Pride seems like it would be a good fit, though I could see Lust or Envy, too. It's interesting that he's trying to get Odette angry but wants her to stick close, which means taking away the memories of his provocation. To what end remains to be seen!
On Odette's part, well. She clearly thinks she has this in the bag but by the end of the chapter it's apparent that the player is getting played. The memory loss dust is extremely creepy--the scariest part was how her mind rewrote the memories with a convincing explanation. There was one thing that did break my suspension of disbelief pretty strongly this chapter--why in the world does Odette get back in the car with him? It's hard to believe she still cares about getting close to him in the aftermath of what happened, and certainly when she's in the car she's not making any effort to pretend anymore. I don't know why she wouldn't have just stormed off and taken a taxi. Maybe this could be one of those plane trips instead of being a restaurant in town? If she's chilling at a private island, she really would have no choice but to take his transport back.
Things definitely seem to be escalating, even if Odette isn't aware of it!
When it wasn’t Odette's team up to something weird or stupid, her mother always picked up the slack--when she was home, at least. She’d only been back in Kalos since Sunday night, and she was taking every possible moment after to enjoy her leisure time. Vienna Cinq-Mars wasn’t a subtle woman by any means—if she wanted to sit home all day and scream at her reality TV shows, that’s what she did. And if she didn’t want to wear pants while she was doing that…well, she didn’t.
As Odette walked through from her bedroom to the kitchen, she scrunched her eyebrows at the sight of her mother cradling a bowl of nachos like a newly laid Pokemon egg while she yelled at the orange Unovans on their TV screen. At least she had the common decency to put on a pair of granny panties rather than of one of the thongs she managed to leave all over the house during laundry days.
Vienna's longtime partner, Thea--a quiet and observant gardevoir--sat beside her, knitting and looking completely unfazed by everything happening around her. As she usually did.
Her lips looked perfectly fine without it, anyway. She was cursed with Vienna's big billowy lip genes, so people eyed them enough without them being colored a deep shade of red.
“My brother and I came to eat here months ago, but there was a waiting list. Six months; pretty standard for this restaurant,” Dorien explained, swishing some of his white wine around in his glass.
She swallowed down the urge to glare at him and hid it behind her masterfully crafted half-smile, which she accentuated by thoughtfully resting her cheek in her palm.
She’d gone out of her way to get one of the cheapest things on the menu out of pure spite. She’d been very tempted by the beef bourguignon, but surely Dorien wanted her to spend his money. If she weren’t as hungry as she was, she wouldn’t have ordered anything. Instead, she opted for a mere chicken caprese salad.
Dorien smirked, and she felt the jolt of a metaphorical thunderbolt rock her chest.
“Nothing major,” he said. “I just had a slight concern.”
“Why, because you’re hanging out with a commoner?” she asked jokingly, raising her brow.
He chuckled, almost...darkly. She kept up her smug smile but began to kick off her high-heeled shoes in case her instinct to run came back in full force. She felt it bubbling in the back of her head.
I'm not sure about 'menaced' as a speech verb. Menaced makes me think of physically threatening body language and Odette seems to be using her words at this point.
It’d be easy now that they were in the chauffeured car and headed back to her flat. They were close, and the only ones watching were the driver and Solene. It’d be so easy.
Whatever wine she had hadn't shot her memory of the day entirely. Anger surged from her back again. She had half a mind to march back down to that restaurant and yell at them for using such shitty wine glasses.
The less Vienna knew meant the less she could tell Bernard, and that meant the less she would get caught in the act of...whatever it was she had gotten herself into.
“Good on you!" Vienna praised. "I could have learned a thing or two from somebody like you. Would have saved me from people like your sperm donor."
Odette’s nose crinkled in a grimace, as it always did when Vienna decided it would be a good idea to bring up her unknown father. “Well, anybody could have told you that messing around with someone twice your age was a bad idea.”
“They did. I just didn't listen,” Vienna said, shrugging. “But, how can I be regretful when I got your cute face out of it?” She reached out and squeezed Odette’s cheeks for good measure. “Red eyes and all.”
It’s been a while since my last review for this, so I’ll recap my stream of thoughts as I read through the first 5 chapters!
Recap thoughts: A new prologue? That or I only read the old one… either way, I really like them as a complement to each other. Sets up Florent as some clear kind of big bad, albeit one who’s going to have a paternal view of Odette. I really love your writing style and it’s clear you put a huge amount of effort into polishing this as well as it is.
I really do like the use of references to theatre and musicals throughout. I was never a part of them, but my sister was a musical theatre performer so our entertainment consisted of a vast amount of musicals. I picked up on some things by being the emcee of most of her studio’s shows, so it’s a delight to have some of my random knowledge come in handy.
You do a fantastic job of building tension right off the hop. It’s not just a musical, there’s also some shady shenanigans going on that you suck us into right away. It’s a great job, and honestly a very effective use of space. You give us something about Odette and the coming plot in a very fast way.
That’s one thing I’m noticing in the early going. You’re very good at delivering several sets of information in a hurry, without it seeming like you’re infodumping walls of text down my throat. I suuuuck at that, so it’s some good tips for my own writing.
I also love little seemingly unimportant quirks like Odette loving motorbikes, the way she gets irrationally angry, the character dynamics between her and Noel and how he makes sure she calms down, the family-like feel of Odette’s team. Small details like that make the character, and you’re fantastic at this aspect of writing.
Love the reference to stall-pachirisu during battle class.
I said it on discord, but while you’re fawning over Dorien in his first appearance it’s almost like you’re slipping into uncanny valley. He’s creepy without being overt about it, or the narrative really even acknowledging it right away. Very effective. Even more effective as Odette slowly remembers more about him (and the narrative gets creepy with him) and we get the reveal of him being involved in shiny trade.
The battle between Odette/Dorien seems better than I remember it being. Good choreography and good pacing, although it hews a little close to gamey mechanics at times. (This is also a personal thing, but I detest trainers ordering their pokemon to dodge). Altogether though, it’s good enough and it definitely works to showcase how something is clearly very wrong with Dorien. I do think part of my original issue was reading it on 2 hours sleep. It definitely isn’t bad, not weightless.
Odette and her grandfather’s dynamic is very very sweet. I really like them together, and seeing where a bunch of Odette’s quirks and character bits come from is such a treat.
I think Noel is my favourite character thus far. He’s funny and sweet and impossibly competent. Plus, he’s a good friend to Odette. Good friends are always welcome.
I really like the quote of “nosy trainers are always getting involved” lol. Thats basically the entire basis of my own fic’s central conflict, so I wholeheartedly agree lol.
Finally done my 1-5 recap, onwards to the actual Blitz review!
Chapter 6 -
Lol @ Vienna sitting back and relaxing in her underwear watching Jersey Shore. I think I’ve walking into Mrs Writer doing exactly that when the revival first came back, so it’s funny.
Honestly, her mother and her have a somewhat similar dynamic to Vienna and Odette. It’s a funny comparison, they have the “they’re sisters” thing all the time.
Dorien just gives me the heeby jeebie. He’s such a stereotype of a rich prick, makes me think you’ve known more than a few of them in your day. With Odette’s suave reactions as well while she’s thinking about how she could deck him, it makes me think you’ve had to deal with a few of them as well.
The entire dinner scene had me in stitches, every moment of her seething inside, every moment of Dorien being an utter shithead, it’s so so so good.
The abrupt sharp turn that the chapter takes once Dorien asks about her SA is such a sharp shock. I think you did a fantastic job showing how utterly shocked Odette was and how creepy Dorien was as he kept probing.
After the tone of the chapter swerving aggressively at dinner, we get another sharp turn. Odette is being cautious just wanting away from him (don’t blame her) and Dorien catches her off guard with some weird “forget this” powder. I wonder if that’s “sacrilege“ given Dorien’s apparent ties to the shiny trade.
I really do hope that Odette doesn’t forget all that shit forever. Or that Dorien fucks up again and gets decked somewhat soon. It’s a very fun story development for you as a writer (even if as a reader, is hella frustrating).
Chapter 7
One thing that I consider myself not great at, is scene-setting. It’s a conscious effort for me to set my scenes and more often than not, I still feel like I haven’t set the scene in the way it deserves. The fancy dinner was set up gloriously. Every single line seemed to bring us more detail and make me more and more unsettled.
You did a great job unsettling us and putting us in the heads of Noel and Odette, who are both incredibly uncomfortable themselves in this “high society” party.
I hadn’t noticed this yet, but you perfectly use italics to emphasize certain words. I wasn’t even consciously noticing any of them, but it’s so effective because your brain picks up on them and emphasizes the word while you read.
Having Odette be naturally observant and quick on the uptake really shines in a scene like this imo. She’s picking up on small details like the ponyta being down/scared, that nobody moved to help the waiter, that everyone here is so damned full of themselves. I think you’d be really damn good at writing a crime thriller.
You wrote Clovis’ entry in such a horny way lol. I very much don’t swing that way and you even had me thinking Clovis sounded like a suave catch. I was kind of unsure what was going on (I wasnt expecting this kind of horny until Guzma), but hot damn it certainly upped the tension in the chapter.
I really like the way you contrasted Odette’s reactions to Clovis and then Dorien. She’s receptive (and clearly horny) towards Clovis and the narrative displays that. Then Dorien enters and attempts to pull the same kind of moves on Odette and the narrative sharply shifts into disgust, and then again to humour when Noel fucks with Dorien. You’ve done this before and I haven’t commented on it, but you’re fantastic at shifting the mood of a scene quickly.
The scene does get slightly repetitive as you go through another set of introductions, but I think that helps with the uncomfortable feeling of the atmosphere of the scene. I do like you showing how out of place Odette feels among these people, even if she isn’t showing it outwardly. The repetitiveness does disappear as the dinner begins though, it just was a semi-awkward transition to it.
I absolutely love Clovis coming back in to unnerve Dorien some more. Was some great banter between frenemies as well, something I may take some tips and pointers from here.
Your whole “romance in training” spiel really really got my own gears turning about romance in training. It kind of seems odd that Odette would have not put thought into this, but I guess her past excuses her.
Battling would 100% be used as foreplay for trainer couples. Mrs Writer and I use gaming as foreplay sometimes (literally any competition game works, strip Mario Kart is fun) and it would have the exact same vibe. Idk about battling being a kink, but it would definitely have a part in the “sexytimes” process. (Shamelessly going to steal this btw)
OH NY WTF SIND THIS IS GLORIOUS
SMOKY BLOOD MONSTWRS FUCK YEAH
Ahem, I’ve composed myself. That was a fantastic fucking turn. I did not expect this, I was expecting some kind of creepy speech or something creepy from Dorien, but bloody fucking smoke monsters?!?!? You need to write some sort of supernatural crime thriller Sind, this is your JAM.
Clovis endears himself to you by being against whatever that was (which clearly is not good news or good business), more so than he’s already endeared himself to Odette. I love how he manages to get a small warning in before storming off. I really hope we get more of Clovis because he’s had an interesting dynamic thus far.
The entire next conversation with Dorien just sent creepies down my spine. I knew something was up with him and he’s so 100% determined to make sure that you know he’s a disgusting and slimy creep.
Please, Please, please let Noel and Odette curbstomp this creepy little snob. Clovis can even help, if only to have you horny writing about him beating the crap out of someone.
Chapter 8
Holy shit, that “horny protagonist” CW was very not kidding. It’s funny that you have Odette comment on how Odette‘s so horny for Clovis that she gets a little stalky. It’s 100% justified though, she is in the middle of a smoky blood monster investigation and Clovis made a big show of being disgusted by it and warning her off. Hell, I’d be stalking him too, even if I wasn’t horny as fuck for him.
Ah, she shoves the feelings down… that’s possibly another reason that we haven’t seen her horny yet. She’s been obsessed with control and getting horny would be the very essence of not in control. It’s that or she’s dealing with SA trauma and finally getting over it (exposure therapy to hot guys? Is that insensitive or slightly valid?).
Nice to see that Odette does actually have a few friends. Sad that they aren’t close, but that does happen. The group chat felt appropriately frantic as well. Kinda reminded me of TR.
Your “Q and A speculation” scene was excellent. I know I keep telling you what kind of story you should write, but some kind of supernatural crime thriller would be up your alley. If you listen to me, you also have like 4 different story genres that would be up your alley though.
All in all, a great exposition scene that fucking was so frustrating. I really love exposition that leaves me wanting and yelling at the story for more. This entire extended sequence scratched that “tell me more but plz don’t” itch perfectly.
Sacrilege definitely has something to do with bringing out the Smokey blood monsters, maybe making regular mon into shinies? Maybe something else that’s utterly fucked up? I can’t figure out why the humans are taking it then, unless its some mind blowing drug?
Also, I like the absolute confirmation that Dorien is utter trash. We already knew that, but it’s almost like the story is going “FUCKING HATE THIS PERSON PLZ”. Makes me think you know a “Dorien” lol.
The one thing that yanked me out was ”rich people scrubbing the internet” bit. That’s… uh… not possible really. The internet never really forgets. I guess the rich have even more power in this world (scary thought there).
I really do like Odette finding the strength to actually name her rapist. She’s showing more and more agency and this is a prime example of her moving on from what happened (along with all the horny probably).
I think that ending this chapter with a moment of relative levity is a good choice. It’s been a rather tense last few chapters and this helps pace us before (presumably) shit gets nuts.
Chapter 9
Oh man that’s a hell of a cold open. Here I was thinking it’s just a fancy party and Odette is just uncomfortable around Dorien’s sleazy rich snobbishnes. Nope, it’s a fucking auction and we get Odette’s visceral reaction. I knew there was a reason why she has a shiny sylveon and I thought it was just so we could go “shiny trade bad”. Functionally, it is, but its more “shiny trade VERY FUCKING bad”.
L-O-Fucking-L, Dorien literally fucking called it a tea party. As if he wasn’t snobby enough. Can Odette just deck this creep yet?
I’ve always thought the “parasols and hats” thing to be very weird. I love that Odette seems to echo my own thoughts fairly often too, she’s very relatable.
HOLY FUCK IMMA KILL THAT RICH FUCK THOSE PLUSLE AND MINUN BETTER REUNITE
I really really like as well how you have Odette take a moment and check in with Enora when shit got bad. Most fics would not have had that interaction there, and this is something that sets it apart from the vast majority of fics. Odette truly cares, so much that it’s not just a “I love my pokemon” throwaway. It’s really really touching to have Odette make sure that Enora is ok and then have Enora check back in with Odette herself. Great little interaction here.
Odette acts like a literal air horn alarm when Clovis walked up. Not unlike the courtship between Mrs Writer and I. It’s hilariously accurate and does not at all dip into creepy objectification while still making it clear that she’s horny af for this silver fox looking mofo.
I do like that you didn’t hang the “is he a bad guy or good guy” over the entire chapter. You resolved it quickly and while you didn’t make it 100% clear that he’s not bad, you resolved that plot thread relatively quickly.
Ah, a gyarados! The signs were accurate! Listen to the—… Well fuck, these shadow blood monsters are fucking stronk. Bye bye gyarados!
WHATSIND THIS IS EPIC
Man I fucking love that segment. Weak at action??!?!? My fucking ASS, you’re weak at action writing. That was some good fucking shit right there.
Yes, the signs are there. Yes, you foreshadowed this in the prologue and in the narrative about Odette’s anger.
ITS STILL AN EPIC AS SHIT SEGMENT AAAAA
I gotta get you to show me how to use that text font where Venira starts talking using Odette, I really like the effect.
I’m calling it here, Venira (I think I remember you using that name on discord, and it was in the prologue) is likely the cause of her health issues. This ghost/blood/smoke pokemon is the reason she’s angry and so small and going through so much shit. Makes me wonder if it’s also the cause of her apparent amnesia regarding high school (or if that’s related to Dorien’s forget-this dust). Getting the theorycrafting gears turning here.
I do wonder if Odette actually has these “conditions” or if it’s just a side effect of hosting Venira. Could make sense if Venira’s using her blood to fuel itself and that’s why she gets so weak after she’s angry. Either way, it’s apparent that there’s much more to Odette than we’ve been led to believe thus far.
Chapter 10
Another nice friendly character dynamics scene. You keep pulling these out and I love every one. They don’t do much to advance the plot, but just having Odette sit around with her friends is actually a great scene by itself.
HOLY SHIT LOIC YOU GENIUS
I… was not expecting this chapter to go this way, but I’m not gonna complain about it. I love intrigue!
More about Virtue Corp, our yet unexplained good/bad guy group. I think they’re still the good guys from this, maybe some sort of secret spy organization? Idk, they sound almost like some kind of covert organization what with Clovis mentioning their eyes and ears. Maybe hunting Florent, given that Clovis had spoken Galaran to Odette. It could fit, but it makes me wonder if Clovis is actually a part of that fancy family since his history doesn’t seem to add up properly and idk why some rich kid would get into helping out a lowly police chief, even if it is Lumiose’ police chief.
A bit late for Bernard to not want Odette to know that he’s involved. She kinda figured that out on her own bud.
Chapter 11
Odette seems oddly out of it. I mean, yeah she’s tired and frustrated, but the narrative seems to focus on her slip ups a lot in this chapter. I guess the takeaway is that she’s been up late with Noel trying to figure this out but if it’s been a week with nothing, I’d expect her to get some proper sleep.
LOL Dorien is so utterly completely shitty. It is hilariously bad and creepy. He makes me actually want to barf. It’s also a smart, albeit slimy move to cover his ass for how he freaked out and yelled at her. Smart, creepy bastard. Also, the roses specifically having thorns was a very very nice touch.
Screaming is actually really fucking cathartic. Odette should scream at the shower more, it might help her get some of that anger out. Also, is anyone really gonna get her in trouble? It’s one of those crappy shower curtain rods, it’ll go back up or be replaced by a dollar store replacement.
WOW Odette thats hilarious. I think Yellow once referred to the way she panics and goes through a million things and can’t focus as “gremlin brain” and I think it fits fucking beautifully. It’s also eminently relateable.
Chapter 11.5
‘Sees it’s a POV chapter’
Please don’t be Dorien, please don’t be—
‘Strip clubs and VIP’
Its fucking Dorien.
‘uncomfortable squirm’
I dislike strip clubs. Mostly because I dislike porn as well and strip clubs are essentially live porn. Meh, unimportant but it does add even more to my dislike of him.
3 lap dances seem excessive, but who is my prude ass to judge?
Aaaaaaand we get another few paragraphs and he stole her— DORIEN STAHP PLEASE
Oh? Is he… is he her fucking brother?!?!?! He’s got a ghost inside him himself?
I’m getting the sense that the blood ghosts are based on the 7 sins (at least the ones revolving around Florent and his kids). You’ve mentioned Greed, Glutton, and I think Odette probably has anger inside her, so Dorien has Envy?
Vice dust? Is that forget-me dust? It’s described almost like he’s used it as a rape drug, or like it’s been used as that. Very creepy vibes.
Oh my goodness. He’s definitely got Envy inside him, making him likely Odette’s half sibling. Creepy guy gets creepier.
OH DAMNNNN, sacrilege being some kinda blood monster juice? That’s fucked up and fits so fucking perfect. It’s also creepy. Fitting for Dorien to be a blood/drug dealer.
I can see what Lust might do, but the others really don’t strike me immediately. Does pride make you feel good about yourself? Gluttony make you hungry?
Its like Dorien is on a mission to be the most despicable piece of shit on the planet.
“I’m gonna try to sleep with my (probable) half sister, then get pissed off cuz she won’t put out so I’ll just cheat on her and it’s ok cuz I’m still thinking of her”
Fucking hell, Dorien, I felt slimy just writing that out.
Clovis is here! I did not picture him in this scene, so I’m very confused about what’s going on here. Is Clovis actually a part of that family? Or is he just an undercover agent using that family’s money and influence?
Ah, so Dorien did dose her with some of that Vice-Dust in high school. That’s scary, some nasty implications there. I really hope that nothing bad happened, and I could just be reading too far into this. But, it’s happened to her separately and idk it’s something that would fit with Dorien being a fucking irredeemable creep.
Clovis seems… like he’s made a mistake here by spilling the wine and knowing anything about Odette. Dorien appears to both know that something is off about him and know that he’s got the hots for Odette (seems to be a trend around here and “short with a nice ass” is admittedly my type as well, so I see the appeal). It just seems like a bit of an unforced error on Clovis’ part. Maybe the horny is gone to his head as well? Could explain the outburst from the wine.
One thing I will say (from experience knowing a drug dealer) is that HOLY SHIT CLOVIS YOU LOOK SO HEATSCORE. He is very obviously pushing at meeting the big boss too hard and imo, Dorien probably would have picked up on that and been suspicious rather than envious (unless Envy is fucking with his head and he is admittedly high af). I just… I feel like Clovis would know he has to be smarter than that and he’s way too forward about it.
As if Dorien didn’t creep you out enough, he has to end off the chapter by calling Odette the “love of his life”. L-O-Fucking-L you were literally fantasizing about bashing her head in and cheating on her a minute ago, you goddamn psychopath.
Chapter 12
Navigating the iceberg? And the CW involves horny? That title is 1000000% a euphemism lol
Alright, back to Odette and away from Dorien. Thank fuck, that was a slimy ass chapter.
Why wouldn’t there be ice rinks in Lumiose? It’s the biggest city in Kalos, shouldn’t there be at least something? Or is my Canadian just showing?
“Come, be among your essence“ seems so oddly worded for Odette. Admittedly, she’s not super normal, but it’s a wordy way to call out her froslass.
This is… weird. Not what I expected from Mr Virtue Corp heir to a fortune Clovis. Noel is right, where the hell is the Bond style underground lair?
Ah and here’s the first of the horny. No Clovis yet, so I assume there’s more coming.
Noel and Odette are absolutely making fools of themselves and it’s so endearing (if slightly pervy). They’re just real people.
I do like that I picked up on Odette not feeling things like this until the story started and her emotions started coming out to play. Makes me feel smarter for picking up on that.
Ah, of course Clovis was the skater Odette was getting horny for. Figures he was a part of the scene, but here he is! And he… isn’t Clovis? He’s Val? Oh man, am I right and he isn’t actually a rich snob!!?!?!? Good for Odette, she gets to be horny about someone who isn’t going to treat her like a trophy wife!
Ok, now you are trying to make me like Clovis too. Gorgeous as fuck, with the prose practically dripping off him, AND HE OWNS AN ICE RINK? Sind, he sounds like a catch. And Guzma is supposed to be a hotter catch than this?
DAMN HES THE MENETRIES GUY’s KID?! Oh the story just got spicy. More so than when it was just the hot guys. Now, with hot guys and intrigue!
Oh my goodness though, my frustration with the story. Yes, you confirmed things, but left so much more unconfirmed as you dawned over Clovis. Tbf, I fucking get it. But like… my brain wants answers, not horny!
Chapter 13
CW: Forced breeding?!!?!?!?
Fuck, this is a dark one, is it?
Man, you really have a knack for characters saying exactly what I’m thinking. Noel wondering how the fuck all this is related was my exact line of thinking at that exact time.
Hundreds of blood types?!?!? And the rich managed to bury this information? Damn, that’s actually incredibly impressive and depressing at the same time. Also, hella impressed that you managed to slip in an excuse to have hundreds of fakemon if you wanted.
So, Florent managed to figure out how to get the other legends out without having to make kids? That’s definitely chilling. At least it means that Dorien isn’t trying to bone/kill his sister. He’s a creepy, slimy freak, but at least he isn’t an incestous freak.
That is definitely an implication. Every single shiny is harbouring a blood mon… I’m betting that we see whatever the hell is hiding inside Enora at some point. Also, that’s 1000000000% why Odette has her health issues and I WAS FUCKING RIGHT.
An EXPLANATION ON VICE DUST YES
AND AN ANTIDOTE EXISTS YES
So, we’re definitely getting whatever memories Dorien stole from her in high school. And the dinner where he sprayed her. Very very interested to see what’s actually happened there.
I do so love unfolding conspiracies and grand reveals. It helps that you’re very very good at writing mystery and conspiracy business. I’m at a similar point in Journey (albeit much later in the fic), and it’s such a fun chapter to write.
What I definitely did not expect, was you going in so hard on “Odette is the bad guy’s kid” yet. I thought that would be saved for a later dramatic moment. I like it though, it fits with your style of “answer a question and provide 3 more”. You’ve done such a great job with this story and all the twisty turns that I’m hard pressed to come up with any real criticisms at all (outside of being frustrated it isn’t complete).
I really really am disappointed that I’ve reached the end up to this point. This has been a fun exchange and a fun Blitz experience! Hopefully I can keep up the reading as you continue the story!
I just had to call attention to this for being the best visual ever.
So, here we are at the party! Great job making everything feel slimy as all hell, despite the rich fancy veneer. The really interesting thing to me is how I never would have thought of 'shiny Pokemon' as something that would have needed a reason for rich people to fawn over. They're rare, they're pretty, that's all you really need most of the time. And yet, there's this recurring implication that the shines aren't just valuable for their own sake...
Love the banter between O and Clovis, and how well he reads her. I can already tell that these two are gonna be a ton of fun.
I can't decide if I think Dorien notices when people hate him? He'd have to be pretty dense to not pick up on the metric truckload of hints, but then, maybe he just literally doesn't care? Or he just craves attention and doesn't care what kind? Or he likes forcing people to tolerate him/feels a sort of control from it? Speaking of control, I love the focus that Odette puts on her being in control of the situation when she's play-acting as Dorien's date.
And here we are with the blood-types finally. Although I gotta say, I think that being already familiar with Venira from AQ is making me have a harder time figuring out what's going on here. Venira was powered up by O's blood. And indeed, we see these blood Pokemon get powered up by their trainers' blood. But then what the heck do the shinies have to do with it?? They're constantly exhausted, which makes it seem like they're being used to power up the blood-types (and regular Pokemon can't do it...?), but we very clearly see them get powered up by the trainers and--gah! I'll just have to keep going to find out. xD
(Side note: how on earth is isaur pronunced lmao)
Ch8
O is hornee :V
Man, I am so confused about the Clovis thing. My first guess was that he'd secretly gone off and lived a double life unbeknownst to his family? But that doesn't seem to fit...
Jocelyn is the one from that excerpt you posted isn't she
Shinies apparently spawning blood-types is still wild to me. Odette has Venira and she's a legendary, and I never got the impression that Enora had anything to do with their bond whatsoever. Unless you kept it super under wraps even through AQ lmao. The blood types they saw at the party appeared when the humans cut themselves, not the Pokemon. The Pokemon seemed totally irrelevant. But they were tired, like they'd been forced to do something, just something other than powering up the blood-types. I feel like I may be stupid.
(I hope it is fun to watch chibs theorymonger lmao)
Ch9
I really enjoyed the heartfelt convo with Enora at the bar! Really made them feel like a team going into the lion's den like this.
I'm just now noticing the weird gaps in her memory in high school while re-skimming this chapter and that is mighty suspicious.
And then HERE WE GO VENIRA FINALLY. Except she's hasn't fully shown herself so O doesn't know about her yet. You teeaaaseeeee. I can't believe they don't meet for so long! [Says this when their fic's human-legend pairing doesn't happen until chapter thirty-freaking-six.]
And then we get that brief moment of Dorien not being oblivious! He knows damn well what is up with Venira and isn't even trying to hide it (which makes me further suspect that his oblivious air could at least partially be an act of his own, maybe???)
Heya! Here for Blitz; reviewing the prologue and chapters seven + eight. (My intent is to get this finished before Blitz is over; I had planned to do nine as well, but it turns out I was rustier at writing reviews than first thought and ended up spending entirely too long getting this done. I'll try and cover nine + ten and maybe also eleven tomorrow.)
Most of what I'm going to say will be covered in the line-by-lines, I think, but an overview of my thoughts (most of which are positive! This is a fun romp of a story that I tend to have a lot of fun with):
- The new prologue is very good! It fleshes out (teehee) Florent and his stakes in all this some more, and adds some more context to his role in all this; in turn, it recontextualises the rest of the story in a fun way, too. I'm dying for this to come back to haunt Odette et al eventually; all of this digging into a conspiracy, which seems to exist in no small part because a shitty dad couldn't kill his own infant daughter and instead decided to ruin the lives of countless people Kalos simply by being there, will likely lead our gang back there. Some fun tension in Florent's character naturally gets explored here. It turns out you need to be a pretty fucked up guy to tie yourself by blood to and withstand the presence of the embodiment of Gluttony itself. Love a story about guys who are just so messed up and grotesque, of which this story has at least two.
- I'd definitely read most of chapter seven before, but it turned out I hadn't reviewed it. I think it may have bounced off me for a while when I first read it, and on sitting down to read it again, I found my eyes glazing over a little — I think it is ultimately too long for its own good; there isn't all that much that happens in it beyond some general schmoozing and then the big battle at the end, and I think that schmoozing is generally pretty fun + the battle is certainly a Big Moment; structurally, I don't know how well it holds together for 15,000+ words, nor does it progress the plot all that much until the end (and even then, with how much time chapter eight spends elaborating on that, it does feel like we are taking a scenic route towards plot and to a lesser extent character advancement). There were parts where I will admit it became a chore to get through because it felt like I was reading about people doing stuff at a party with the hope that some of it would pay off eventually.
That being said, I do think it's a pretty good chapter overall? Noel is a lot of fun in this one for his natural ability to just fuck around with people and filter through juicy gossip; similarly, I think there is a good enough hook in Clovis being an interesting and slightly odd guy who Odette falls in love with immediately. Enough is presented to make the reader want to know what his whole deal is, especially given Odette's strong belief that he is a good guy (perhaps related, he is also very hot) contrasted with the depravity of the thing they are investigating. There is also his whole deal with Dorien. Much to consider here!
- Chapter eight is a fun little low-key affair. The group chat banter was very fun; in the grand context of the story, it works well for the characters figuring out stuff in a way that feels natural; they get caught up on things and get new information to follow up on, but also, there's still much they don't know. Clovis's whole deal is also elaborated upon in a way that raises more questions than it answers. We love an odd guy who is relevant to the plot somehow.
- The prose remains solid! I think it's at its strongest in the prologue because Florent (like Dorien) is just a fascinatingly terrible guy whose worldview is just so depraved that you cannot quite look away. Yet you have a good knack for conveying people just absolutely seething and malding at each other; Odette's observations about the world around her tend to be pretty enlightening, and I do like the feeling we get of being privy to her jabs at those around her. Particularly Dorien. He's a good heel for this part of the story.
Not to mention the women were in abundance, just as eager to approach him at the first sign of his wealth as anyone would be. Nobody had caught his fancy until he met her.
I like the ways you're driving home in this new prologue that this is a sleazy guy who sucks; there's definitely more of a pathos about him this time around. Moneybags McGee preying on college girls and then getting horribly down bad about it? Believable and more tangible than I remember him being earlier.
This is fun. On the one hand, this would definitely be a smoother line if you left that last part out; the implication is clear here. On the other, this works magnificently in further characterising Florent as a pathetic guy; he would beat you over the head with his very clear allusions just in case you did not get what he was very obviously saying, wouldn't he? It's a neat little detail.
It was surreal just how fast all of his violent thoughts melted away. The longer he beheld the sight of this baby girl, his baby girl, the more intense the warmth in his chest began to feel.
"Oh, my gods…" he muttered, placing his hands against the tempered glass, longing to run his fingers along her little cheek. The tape would be in the way, though. Was it going to irritate her skin when they pulled it off? Would the doctors even place that tape on her in the first place if they knew it would cause a rash? Surely not. He'd throw a fit.
He blinked at the thought. Him? Throwing a fit at some NICU nurses and doctors because a baby got a light skin irritation from some medical tape? Was he going mad?
This again captures something more complex that I don't recall being there in the first prologue, and it's very welcome. He is the most skeevy possible guy, yes; his definition of love as it pertains to his daughter involves using her as an asset and as a partner of Venira, and she is only useful insofar as she is his, and this is all an extension of the same misogyny that harbours his active hatred of Vienna and his views on all women as tools. (Would be funny if this proved to be his undoing someday, wouldn't it?) At the same time, though, there is something recognisably human here! He is briefly overwhelmed by this feeling of genuine fondness for Odette and sees her as his little infant in need of protection who could one day enjoy the same things that he does. Of course, this also involves taking absolute control over her life, which — knowing Odette — she would loathe; one could easily chalk this warmth towards her as his response to seeing a newborn who is an extension of himself. It is also possible that he has some parental trauma of his own, considering also his brief pondering of Vienna's parents as they fit into her life. Much to consider. Very good stuff.
"No," Florent said. He threw himself into his chair, setting the ball down on the desk. He felt a headache coming on. At least it would distract him from the throbbing in his chest.
I like the way you show off Gulattive's character in this bit of the chapter, too. There's some neat fakémon biology here (his blood powers are fun, to the point were the ebbs and flows of his emotions seem capable of giving Florent nausea and headaches), but also, beyond their roles as blood legendaries there's some drama between him and Venira (and, like, I think the parallels between Gluttony/Wrath and Florent/Odette — and the gender dynamics here; having read a bulk of the story, it is "fun" to remember the episodes where Odette finds herself running up against men who assume themselves entitled to her and how she responds in kind with her wrath a weapon of self-defence — this is a long tangent, back to the sentence) that leads him to further goad Florent's worse impulses to get it resolved. He has no problem with murdering infants or women, which makes sense both in relation to who his host is or his distance to humans as an eldritch god. I do love it when pokémon get to be fucked up and evil. Chapters seven and eight
“Behave,” Noel said, raising his right arm, which was clothed in his custom-made falconry glove. The black leather had been lined with glimmering gold piping, and there were crystals embedded into each one of the knuckles.
“I knew it was you!” she said. She grabbed his hand and began to shake it eagerly. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I’m Lissette Archamault. I watch a lot of shows at the Lumiose center, and I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan of yours! You were fantastic in Cabaret, and I’m so excited for Purrloins!”
Noel was very obviously flattered by the introduction, but he seemed particularly caught by this woman’s name. Or, at least, that's what Odette was certainly stuck on. An entire part of the theater was dubbed “The Lisette Archamault Wing” to honor this woman and her frequent and obscenely generous donations to the institution.
Fun worldbuilding that has some neat implications. Obviously, the arts are dependent at least to some extent on philanthropy; given the illicit nature of the shiny pokémon trade, it's not a stretch to imagine that money from it (perhaps also from the drugs trade) finding its way back into the theatre whether through a genuine love of performance arts or money laundering. But, also, extravagant old ladies who have more money than sense are always fun.
She was beaming at the fact that such an esteemed and frequent guest of the center recognized him and even called herself a fan. Noel’s talents had been pretty acclaimed since he broke out onto the scene not too long ago, but witnessing something like that, no matter the place, was pretty nice. It meant he was getting somewhere, and it meant there was still a lot in store for him. She was a very proud friend.
She, on the other hand, felt momentarily offended that she also hadn’t been recognized like that. Sure, she’d been called ‘gorgeous,’ but that didn’t hold a candle to being told one has a fan. But there was nothing more to expect. She didn’t step out onstage with Noel. She stuck herself behind the curtain, where she thought she’d thrive just as well.
I also like this whole bit a lot; it captures very succinctly that tension you find with your fellow performers. Yes, you absolutely want them to do well, especially when they're your friends -- people making it big means they move onto bigger and better things, get to live a little better, and it's always nice to see someone you've forged such strong bonds with graduate. But, also, the limelight is funny sometimes; you find yourself asking why that isn't you. You know there are extenuating circumstances, and that it is often a matter of the cards not falling your way. Still, you work just as hard! Why don't you get the affection of all the adoring eccentric old ladies and their husbands who are long-standing theatre buffs? This further stresses that fun part of Odette's personality, which, you know, always nice to see someone else struggle with the combo of daddy issues and asking yourself, "Am I Evil For Wanting Attention?" (Side note: I just know Odette would love Mulholland Drive; she seems like that kind of slightly unhinged theatre girl. This is said with the utmost affection.)
“That’s a nice Ralph Lurantis. What department store did you pick that little number up at?” he asked. There was an evident joking undertone to his words. It made her snicker.
“Oh, this old thing?” she said, deciding to play along. “It’s a custom fit. Ralph makes all my dresses personally.”
I love the idea that the Ralph Lauren counterpart is named this. This world-renowned fashion designer is also named after a small insect-like grass creature.
Clovis shook his head. “No, actually,” he said. “I just figure skated competitively for--" He caught himself, then cleared his throat. Panic flashed in his eyes for a short moment, gone as quickly as it appeared. She might have missed it if she wasn’t staring right at him.
“Actually, that’s not important,” he said easily as if trying to brush it off.
They pointed at each other and released simultaneous "Ha's!" The gesture appeared to be in absolute jest, but from the way Dorien jaw remained clenched and the way Clovis's brow twitched, it was all too obvious to her that it wasn't. There was evident bad blood here, and neither one of them wanted to acknowledge it.
"Evident" feels redundant here and you're missing an apostrophe/s from "Dorien jaw" but I like this a lot. These guys are expected to be friends, as moneyed rich guys (with Dorien openly currying legitimacy for a glorified livestock trade), and yet they also are like two peacocks who both kinda suck and viscerally hate each other's guts. Always a fun dynamic.
"Multiple" feels a little too imprecise, though equally this could be deliberate to make them sound more impressive than they are; it would be very funny if they actually have their fingers in, like, three pies at most. Need me more stories about guys who are heirs to, like, a TV dinner or a toilet sponge company or something -- anyway, that's besides the point.
Literally the most wince-inducing adjective Dorien could have chosen there; kudos. Goes without saying but this man is not merely horny, he is down vile.
Without warning, he sidestepped back around Noel and looped his arm back around Odette's waist, pulling her into his chest. He leaned in and planted a deep, heavy kiss on her lips. The gesture's absolute abruptness instinctively caused Odette to suck in her lips, and she positioned herself to bash him over the head with her water glass.
Stage kiss, stage kiss, stage kiss, you're acting. This is fake.
Several chairs were still open at their table, and she quickly sat down in one, with Noel to her right. Talonflame took the one next to him right before Colin could snatch it. Dorien attempted to grab the empty chair on Odette's other side, but Isaur slipped into it as he pulled it out. Odette swallowed down her relieved sigh by grabbing the set glass of water near her plate and taking a long gulp from it.
“Frosslasssss,” she taunted.
Dorien stared at her for a long moment before shrugging and moving to the empty chair next to Talonflame. “Fine, fine. Who am I to separate Pokemon and trainer?” he huffed.
Unsure which I find funnier: Florent losing his beef with his newborn daughter vs. Dorien losing his beef with a large bird of prey over a chair. (Or Dorien beefing with Clovis during this little dinner, mind you; I did not find much to comment on there, but you have a knack for writing every rich guy in the vicinity being in a constant, silent-until-it-isn't dick-measuring contest with each other.)
The couple smiled broadly, clearly looking forward to the battle they were about to engage in. She had to wonder if they did this often...actually, she had to wonder if married couples really battled each other often in general? Was that a thing that couples did to show affection? She couldn’t really recall any times she’d seen her grandparents battle, but then again, neither of them were really battle-oriented trainers…
This is neat. A fun and also very strange ritual; certainly, it'd be a spectacle. But then also a relevant one given this fic's interest in the shiny pokémon and also evil steroids trade... Hey, Wait A Minute, This Doesn't Seem Humane
Both of those Pokemon...looked so tired. More tired-looking than any other Pokemon she'd seen tonight.
Malamar were known to squint a lot, but Mr. Patenaude’s malamar was blinking like it was running on thirty minutes of sleep. Meanwhile, the scizor looked as if it was going to topple over at any moment. It wobbled as its feet hit the ground.
Proper noun missing capitalisation. Also, Hey, Wait A Minute—
(This is a very fun way to introduce the blood legends/pokémon we saw in the prologue into Odette's life!)
“As I said, no specifics. Just trust that I can get my hands on some very powerful ‘mons for you. That is if you stick around and see how it all works,” he explained. “Plus, I can always put in a good word for my date.”
This chapter ends on a fine note. I like how completely unaware Dorien is that any subterfuge at all seems to be taking place; in his stupidity and general fuckboyishness, he is somewhat cartoonish in a way that still feels believable. It's fun. I also like how you manage to capture Odette's struggles to keep an even keel and sell the facade given how horrible this is to digest and how tense things would get if that facade slipped; her conniving is endearing.
The week had gone by in a blur. A blur of excessive note-taking, staying up until the wee hours of the morning wasting away at computer screens, and a series of unpleasantly pleasant thoughts of Clovis not wearing any clothes.
Stupid, sexy Flanders... I haven't mentioned this yet but there's enough ambiguity in how Clovis is presented as so mysterious yet so dreamy here, someone that all the girls want but none of them can ever truly know, that it makes it all the funnier I'm like 90% sure most of this is because Clovis is as straight as a circle.
Clovis LeClair, the son of billionaire Charles LeClair, owner of the Clair De Lune group, which was made up of more than four hundred different companies based in multiple regions around the world. Most of them were centered around humans and Pokemon working together humanely to get things done in an orderly and, as they put it, “the old-fashioned green and clean way.” They dedicated their companies to making sure Pokemon were treated fairly and humanely. It was truly a noble cause.
There goes my dream of him being a grand heir to a butter company. The fact that these philanthropist billionaires pass themselves off as something nice and legitimate despite being wealthier than the gods is always interesting, especially given Clovis's proximity to and implied intimacy with the disgusting show of greed etc. etc. -- and, as is established later, the odd little thing about all the information about him having vanished.
Even the way he looked aggravated when Jocelyn called before switching back to the smug smirk like it was nothing. He did it with such scary ease. Like he’d been trained to do it.
cannot go wrong with some good old-fashioned violence in the group chat, especially right before grotesque revelations about the nature of the world. but surely that could never happen h
Nothing truly caught her eye until she’d made it down to the last paragraph, where she saw mention of oddly colored Pokemon. Surely, it meant shinies. That was where she actually started to read.
It was once said that these Pokemon of odd coloring had the ability to harbor and spawn Pokemon of a different power--grotesque creatures that found their abilities in the sanguinity of their hosts.
I like a reveal that isn't surprising, but does have ramifications that the characters have to consider. You did a good enough of showing this happen at the end of the last chapter that I think I pieced this together subconsciously, and then having it revealed like this garnered a reaction in me that was, like, "huh! Makes sense. Oh wait fuck these guys didn't read the prologue, this whole thing must be so fucked up for them, oh god! Venira! Oh they still have so much more to learn!!!" -- in a good way. Usually I'm unsure about characters just having core concepts revealed to them in a book somewhere, but I think it works here. (By the way, whoever wrote this book must have known about some fucked up shit!)
I think that "are" in "are better at fronting as the good guys" slightly throws the flow off -- but also, like, again; I love to see characters piecing together the plot of the story they are in, except they're missing one crucial detail. I'm a little surprised it's taken them this long to piece the allegiance between Virtue and Enigma together, actually, although I may also just need to give the first six chapters a thorough reread sometime soon.
“But I imagine the riots would be even bigger if they found out that things were being hidden from them, you know? Is that a risk the police, or even a good-aligned Virtue Corp, would take? Having a conspiracy like this on their backs?”
Damn, Noel, you mean to insinuate that rich people have enough skeletons in their closets that they need to keep each other's backs? You even mean to accuse the police of having their backs to uphold the flow of capital? That's very fucked up if true.
She began shaking her head. “I’m not sure yet...just some things not adding up. Everything I read had Clovis LeClair pegged as a shut-in, but he started telling me he was a competitive figure skater while I spoke to him.”
Noel appeared taken aback by this. “Him? A shut-in? I'd never read him as an antisocial type.”
Well, at the very least, she knew she wasn’t nuts for thinking that herself. “That’s what I said, too,” she said. “The last thing an antisocial person is doing is competing in something. And even if he did, I couldn’t find anything about it. I was thinking he was involved in something bad, but I'm not quite sure yet.”
Just shooting off a bizarro, completely made up theory here, what if Clovis isn't real? What if he's an imposter or something? This definitely isn't true, likely isn't plausible, and I don't know how well it fits into the whole conspiracy where everyone has such a personal stake (and his is so concerned with protecting Odette from the evils behind closed doors). However, it would be the funniest outcome I think; he's just gaslit everyone into thinking he belongs. Odette is probably closer to the truth in thinking he had all that scrubbed off the record because he may have done something terrible. However, I'm putting £50,000 on this anyway.
“Not everything functions at face value, Dee. But, realistically, Clovis could be some pretty rich man who thought you were pretty and decided he didn’t want to see you get involved in...whatever this is,”
Clovis vs. Dorien; Man Who Was So Horny He Became Good vs. Man Who Was So Horny He Became Evil — a fight for the heart of the human soul itself
On the whole, good stuff as ever. I'm excited to get caught up hopefully soon. I love seeing those rich people do some fucked up shit, and I equally enjoy seeing Odette resist her urge to murder the same 3-5 people while she works out what the deal is with all that fucked up shit, and also the fucked up shit in her past too. Just a lot of fucked up shit to go around. Cheers! :>
Rich people party time! And quite a lot of it, too. The principle events before the big battle are Odette observing the shinies, Odette meeting Clovis, and Odette observing how Clovis and Dorien interact. I think these main beats could have happened with somewhat less words--there's quite a lot of bantering dialogue, and not all of it landed for me. 'Odette tries out smoking' in particular felt like it went on for a while, without much pay-off.
Clovis gets the introduction of a major character. Odette is interested in him and he's also the scion of a massively wealthy family. He's definitely being set up as 'not like other rich kids.' I'm not that convinced, and of course, Odette hardly seems to be a reliable narration on this score. Which brings me to my current theory--Clovis is hosting the Lust Pokemon. The way you described Odette's reactions seemed to put her reaction to him on par with the way her Wrath stuff overwhelms her. And then, her pokemon is instantly infatuated too. So far, it's true that the people hosting have more tended to exhibit the trait than induce it, but Odette's brother doesn't seem to act greedily himself, just be eaten by the greed pokemon, so there's some variability.
With Clovis and Dorien, I definitely get the sense of some history. They seem to be in on some of the same secrets, so that binds them together, but they clearly do not like each other. It's interesting that Noel seems to know that crew too. It gives me the sense that they aren't as insular as they first seemed--they at least used to venture outside their clique. Speaking of Noel, I wonder if his connection with the theater patron will come in handy in the future.
We learn a lot more about what's going on with the rich people and shinies in this one. Okay, so we've got weird blood pokemon that seem physically more powerful but perhaps less intelligent than normal pokemon--a bit like Orre's shadow pokemon? People mention that shinies can produce and hold them--perhaps multiple. It's only shinies, because Dorien says that's the hard part. Hosting one clearly takes a toll on the shiny--that's why all the shiny pokemon look tired. I'm not sure if there's a power drain only when one it called out, or if one produced they're a continuous drain. Unclear how they relate to the sin pokemon--the sin pokemon take hosts, but don't seem to require them (?) and their hosts are humans. I wonder why shinies but not other pokemon can do this. I can't imagine there's much genetic difference between them. I'm also pretty curious why the rich people like the blood pokemon so much. The battle seemed like it was a lot less complex than mainstream professional battling would be. Is it just the bloodsport aspect? Or does giving their blood somehow create a connection with the pokemon, so the people directing them experience something from the battle and it's a kind of extr3me sports thing.
I have to say, I enjoyed the battling couple probably more than I should have. They just had such Jessie and James from Team Rocket energy. I would believe they have a motto and a personal dance. A disgustingly lovey-dovey couple feels threatening just because it's so mundane. Anyway, they're out there living their best lives and don't care who knows it. Slay, middle-aged pokemon abuse couple. Slay.
The crystal chandelier hanging over the dance floor and table seating area had to be the size of her entire apartment, and that alone filled her with a sense of inadequacy she didn’t think was possible.
Interesting--Odette spends a lot of time making fun of rich people this chapter, but this implies it's partially to mask her envy of the lifestyle. She clearly puts some stock in the same social symbols as them.
“Behave,” Noel said, raising his right arm, which was clothed in his custom-made falconry glove. The black leather had been lined with glimmering gold piping, and there were crystals embedded into each one of the knuckles. It honestly looked like something Elton John would wear...if he trained flying types, of course.
That's pretty extra. Since I doubt Noel rakes in the big bucks as an actor, his family's probably not that badly off either, which is backed up by the fact that he hung out with the rich boy circle in the past.
It sounded like they were doing this by the food tables, but at a party like this I think they'd be circulating. People don't want to have to go find food; it should just be there when they want it.
For now, all she focused on were the present shinies.
The more she looked, the more it became clear to her that they looked, well, ragged. Long faces, smiles few and far between. Most of them just lingered at their owner's heels, looking miserable while doing so.
She wanted so badly to go over there and help the waiter clean up. But, when she saw nobody moving to do the same, she was forced to brush that idea aside. She was already entering the room at a disadvantage, and she didn't need to make things harder for herself by putting herself out in a way the regulars weren't. It stung, but she'd have to endure it and deal with the karma that followed.
“If we can get our hands on some champagne, maybe we’ll feel like we’re part of the club,” Odette cracked, nodding her head toward a nearby table. There were flutes of the golden liquid lined up in expertly spaced rows, there for anybody to take if they were to walk by.
“You had me at champagne,” Noel replied, leading her over to it before he was even finished speaking. He grabbed two and handed one to her before holding his out as if seeking a toast.
“To our debut into high society. Let’s see what the fuck happens tonight,” he said. Odette merely nodded and tapped her cup to his. They sipped together before continuing onward into the room.
I'm surprised Odette's so blase about alchohol considering that as far as she knows, last time she went to a rich person place to meet Dorien she got massively and unexpectedly drunk. I'd think she'd be hypervigilant about alchohol to avoid being vulnerable around him like that again.
Somehow, walking into a room of possible shiny traders, as a commoner with a shiny, felt like the equivalent of walking into a wild pyroar den. If she was going to be discreetly collecting information, she didn’t need to be bombarded with endless questions of how she’d ended up with a shiny sylveon. Sure, she could lie her way through it with no problem. Enora, on the other hand, didn’t have a fibbing bone in her body. It simply wouldn’t end well.
She was beaming at the fact that such an esteemed and frequent guest of the center recognized him and even called herself a fan. Noel’s talents had been pretty acclaimed since he broke out onto the scene not too long ago, but witnessing something like that, no matter the place, was pretty nice. It meant he was getting somewhere, and it meant there was still a lot in store for him. She was a very proud friend.
She, on the other hand, felt momentarily offended that she also hadn’t been recognized like that. Sure, she’d been called ‘gorgeous,’ but that didn’t hold a candle to being told one has a fan. But there was nothing more to expect. She didn’t step out onstage with Noel. She stuck herself behind the curtain, where she thought she’d thrive just as well.
Upon slightly turning her head, she was jarred by the realization she had mindlessly wandered into the designated smoking area through her deep thought haze.
“I'm going to come right out and ask instead of wondering for the rest of the night,” he suddenly said. "If you don't mind me inquiring, do you have heels on?"
Really hard for me to believe someone's actually going to say "No need for such pompousness." Especially because most of his dialogue is pretty normal.
She flexed the corners of her lips, trying to suppress the buildup of a sarcastic remark. It didn’t quite work. “Well, if my mimikyu partner ever decides to take up smoking, I’ll be sure to pick those up at the chemist.”
He reached up and scratched the snom on its head. The gesture was so damn cute, and the urge to swoon broke through her desire to punch him in the chest. The conflicting emotions startled her.
“Because most of the spoiled brats here would be too scared to make pointed jokes about one another out loud,” he scoffed. “They prefer to do it the old-fashioned way--behind each other’s backs. Which leads me to believe you’re not one of the spoiled brats.”
“That’s a nice Ralph Lurantis. What department store did you pick that little number up at?” he asked. There was an evident joking undertone to his words. It made her snicker.
“Oh, this old thing?” she said, deciding to play along.
Odette had to turn her head away to hide the pink that had started forming on her face again. She’d never thought of smoking as something attractive, but dear gods...
Isaur wasn’t a shy Pokemon by any means, so seeing her reduced to a laughing mess like that was bizarre. It seemed he was having a similar effect on both of them.
“I just figure skated competitively for--" He caught himself, then cleared his throat. Panic flashed in his eyes for a short moment, gone as quickly as it appeared. She might have missed it if she wasn’t staring right at him.
"Will do. And hey, a 'salty man' is still more of a man than you'll ever be!"
They pointed at each other and released simultaneous "Ha's!" The gesture appeared to be in absolute jest, but from the way Dorien jaw remained clenched and the way Clovis's brow twitched, it was all too obvious to her that it wasn't. There was evident bad blood here, and neither one of them wanted to acknowledge it.
“Oh, Noel!” Dorien gasped, loosening his hold on Odette. “Odie didn’t tell me you and your partner were coming too. Colin's walking around somewhere; I'm sure he'd love to see you.”
Panic surged within Noel's eyes. However, he didn't let his smile waver. “Oh, wonderful," he said strongly. "Dee here really likes to keep important things like that to herself, I guess."
Odette now realized she heard right. She didn't know who Lionel was, but Colin, Adam, and Denis were old schoolmates, ones she wasn't expecting to see here. Though they were always hanging around that clique of rich kids, so perhaps it wasn't that shocking. What was it with the good-looking rich boys and this fucked up institution? Was there something about it that gave them perfect teeth and pretty eyes?
Noel brought Dorien’s hand to his lips without warning and placed a long, firm kiss on it. He didn’t stop until Dorien jerked his hand back.
Odette’s absolute disgust turned to unbridled humor when she saw sweat forming on Dorien’s brow. He was doing a horrible job in masking his uncomfortableness with the situation, what with the way he gritted his teeth through his forced smile and rubbed at his hand as if he’d just been bitten by a parasect.
That's . . . not that cool on Noel's part. And it's not even turnabout being fair play, considering that Odette is doing her best to convince Dorien she's legitimately into him and welcomes his touch.
She’d have loved to have walked away from that conversation with Clovis with his contact in her hand, but she was just royally incapable of imposing such a request on him.
“My goodness, your lip fillers look fantastic,” one woman said. “Where do you get them done? My last plastic surgeon retired, so I’m in the market for a new one.”
Oh, the Odette's big lips arc has pay-off, I guess? This feels very gratuitous to me, and unrealistic. Rich people do realize that young people have natural beauty. It just feels like the narrative is saying that Odette is morally superior to them because her lips are naturally full. Not the most solid basis for moral cartography.
Does he? He seems as connected to it all as Clovis does (being at the party, being on social terms with Dorien) and Odette didn't assume he dabbled in it.
When she actually cleared her head, she finally registered the biting tone in Dorien’s words. A tone she’d expect from a jealous party, one trying to get under somebody else’s skin.
“Lydia Auclair. She runs a successful vegan bakery company but somehow neglects to tell her customers that she makes her frosting with dewgong milk. Humanely sourced from the Pokemon-Trainer Work Program, of course, but I doubt the vegans she sells to would care enough about that,” he said.
That seems like a really weird flex for someone. Milk substitutes are the easiest part of vegan baking. I don't see why anyone would do that for profit reasons, so is it just for the evil lols?
She felt more of her brain cells starting to die off. She’d never thought so hard about the ins and outs of romance and sex in her entire twenty-two years of existence, but leave it to one head of luscious silver hair to change that.
“Oh darn! They’re still a little tired,” Mrs. Patenaude said sheepishly.
“Well, then, let's just cut to the chase, shall we?” Mr. Patenaude responded.
They withdrew their tired Pokemon with such synchronicity it was a little unnerving. Mr. Patenaude then withdrew another ball from his coat pocket. Squinting through her glasses, Odette could not determine what kind of ball it was. It was pitch black, but the button was bright red. It blinked as if beckoning to be pressed. Mrs. Patenaude revealed her other leg, where the same kind of ball was strapped to her thigh. She grabbed it and held it up.
“A word of advice: walk out of here while you still can. What you just saw was a disgusting show of greed that you’d be better off not getting involved in. ”
It was a little unnerving just how good he was at switching himself off and on like that, but Odette's brain was too busy reeling to really dwell on it.
This chapter seems to be a bit of a recap/exposition. We start with Odette internet-stalking Clovis. Then Noel comes in with the smoking book that puts into words the connection between shinies and blood pokemon that seemed to be crystallizing at the end of the last chapter. I'll talk about the book for a quick second. I was really side-eying someone at a library who would lend a not-for-circulation old book that's in a fragile state just like that. This is the second time I think we've had some random friend of Noel doing something for him that could get them a stern talking to a work or worse--once was already a bit eye-brow raising, but twice is a lot. Maybe he could actually get the book on pokemon ebay or something--sus handing over the cash in someone's garage, sort of thing? An interaction like that could add a bit more texture to the chapter. Right now it's Odette doing internet research, going to rehearsal, reading a group chat, reading a book, and then talking with Noel. The exposition is definitely the main attraction, but a change of scenery might be nice.
I also think the chapter could get going a little quicker. Like, "For the third time that morning, Odette looked over her notes. Her chicken-scratch covered ten pages, the product of a week of staying up until the wee hours of the morning at her computer (and battling unpleasantly pleasant thoughts of Clovis not wearing any clothes). So far, she'd found this. [Clovis stuff.]" There just seems to be a lot of explanation of something that's pretty understandable--Odette doing internet research. The part that's interesting is what she's found.
Mostly Odette and Noel are putting together things we already know in this chapter. I definitely get not having Odette put it together in an instant, but some of the lines where she's like, "The pieces. She had them. She needed to think through it..." were a bit annoying and I think made her feel slower than she needed to be. It's fine to just drop us in her head and listen to her thoughts ping around without the interjections like "It was...starting to make sense."
I thought it was interesting that they were so suspicious of Virtue Corp. I mean, I am too, but I figured the fact that Odette's grandfather approves of them would hold more weight with her. But she jumps to the idea that he's either stupid or complicit pretty fast. I wonder if it might give the conversation a little bit more tension if Odette's more certain that Virtue Corp is fine and Noel's more dubious, or something. The dialogue is mostly them agreeing and jumping off each other, but disagreement also works really well to bring ideas out.
I also wondered what they thought of the blood pokemon. The discussion jumps right into trying to figure out how everything connects and who's aligned with who and whether there's an explanation that makes Clovis good dating material, but the bloody elephant in the room is the blood pokemon. I was surprised we didn't get any musings from them about what the blood pokemon are, why rich people want them (that seems to keep being taken as a given, but why? Odette says that being able to produce them would be what makes shinies desirable but why does she think people want these things?) They don't really seem that affected by what they saw. The biggest reaction comes from the idea that Dorien and crew knew about it but I would have thought that was already clear? The framing makes it seem like the most damning part is the shiny/blood pokemon connection and not the 'rich people summoning creepy blood pokemon' thing. Odette is a lot more affected by Clovis' apparent hotness than she is by that.
Finally, I found the prose a bit distracting in this chapter. I think I kept tripping over sentences where either the way it was phrased or the internal logic didn't make sense to me. I didn't have the energy for super comprehensive line-by-lines, but always happy to workshop stuff.
She wondered if her grandfather got worked up whenever he had to research a lead. Surely not, since he could probably discern something from how he spoke to his partner. Or from how he walked. Or his hair, or his eyes, or--
Clovis LeClair, the son of billionaire Charles LeClair, owner of the Clair De Lune group, which was made up of more than four hundred different companies based in multiple regions around the world. Most of them were centered around humans and Pokemon working together humanely to get things done in an orderly and, as they put it, “the old-fashioned green and clean way.” They dedicated their companies to making sure Pokemon were treated fairly and humanely. It was truly a noble cause.
That sounds extremely vague. Also sounds like this is a pokemonified form of green-washing? Very much doubt there are four hundred *companies* that are dedicated to treating pokemon well.
The youngest was about nine, and Clovis was twenty-four, about to be twenty-five. Odette had been pleased to see that their age difference wasn’t harsh at all.
He hardly seemed like a shut-in, flying under the radar and working behind the scenes for twenty-something years while daddy raked in big money.
She supposed she knew a thing or two about acting a part, but it seemed he knew it too well. She’d found him standing alone in the smoking section, sure. However, he was at least somewhat eager to start a conversation, if only to ask her an obnoxious question about her height. She didn’t know any shut-in who’d have even attempted something like that. They’d have merely kept to themselves.
However, none of that did anything to deter the big thing on her mind: how could he have skated competitively if he hadn’t been seen in public until recently?
Thinking about him, all the information, and how he’d so effortlessly switched faces. From his warning, cold stare to that fake-yet-real smile as he said goodbye. Even the way he looked aggravated when Jocelyn called before switching back to the smug smirk like it was nothing. He did it with such scary ease. Like he’d been trained to do it.
Maybe he was a psychopath like Dorien? Effortlessly going back and forth between emotions because he was so good at faking them? That wasn’t something she initially considered, but it was a possibility, as much as she detested it. She didn’t need another raging psycho in her life, especially one so pretty.
She certainly didn’t know firsthand, but it must have been similar. She’d never been in this position, and she now fully understood why she was so thankful for that. She needed to get a handle on all of these feelings she was having. They were best kept bottled up with the rest of her emotions because they had no business clouding her head when she was trying so hard to think rationally.
Odette took a moment to decide how she wanted to respond to this. She was momentarily thankful to hear from Noel, but then supposed some virtual shenanigans from her displaced friend group would be a good temporary distraction from her headache. Though, she was wondering what he was so frantic about. Probably whatever thing he’d gotten up so early for. Was it some new information?
After years of a close-knit group friendship, she could honestly say that she never knew what to expect when she opened this chat. But, the distraction was working. She was glad she could at least snicker at the weird exchanges happening.
Noel was able to pull himself together before peering back up at her. His brow was raised, and he wore an accusing frown. “You’re talking an awful lot for somebody I’ve seen naked like eighty fucking times.”
“Wow, you know how to read? I'd have never guessed from the way you can't seem to read your phone. Nice job texting the wrong chat,” she teased, feigning innocence by sticking out her lower lip.
. . . yeah, honestly. I'm not sure why she's being so disparaging when she wants to do this. I get banter, but I feel like there's a time and a place in the narrative.
They were all there to watch whatever that malamar and scizor had harbored and spawned? To perhaps see...what their own shinies could harbor and spawn?
Her eyes snapped open, immediately meeting Noel’s intense stare. She blinked a few times, trying to parse how she would say what she wanted to say out loud.
“The shiny trade probably exists because traders know shinies can...make those things, on top of the fact that they're fucking money machines,” she finally said, eyes wide. She raised a hand to hook it into her hair. “Or, try...they're money machines in the first place because they can make those things? The bottom line is Dorien knows that. They all. Fucking. Know that.”
“If we're going on the good guy path, what if they’re trying to keep all of this under wraps to lessen the possible reaction?” she asked. “There’s so much negative press around the shiny trade and Team Enigma’s possible whereabouts and involvement in the crisis. Putting the two together would cause a social explosion if people found out. Especially if my hypothesis that the wealthy are purposely hoarding those Pokemon is correct.”
“Point taken,” Noel said slowly. The more he considered it, the more he appeared to go along. “Something like this dropping on the general public would start a damn riot,” he added. “But I imagine the riots would be even bigger if they found out that things were being hidden from them, you know? Is that a risk the police, or even a good-aligned Virtue Corp, would take? Having a conspiracy like this on their backs?”
I don't really get this reasoning. If you want to stop something, public outcry is generally the go-to? I've never heard of an impact group that didn't want people to know about their issue.
"He doesn't give me Deschamps feelings." She strained herself to speak. That name burned to say. It poked the lasting mental wounds the owner had left behind. "I knew from the get-go Deschamps was a creep. Clovis doesn't hit those buttons."
It's . . . really untrue that only people who register as creeps from the 'get-go' are capable of rape. Realistically, most rape is not being done by obvious creeps. I get that it might be a coping mechanism by Odette to feel like she'd be able to tell in the future, but it's a pretty harmful idea to have the narrative treat like truth.
Heya, back for more of WSBS to round out the rest of our review exchange. Plus from the note that the last chapter ended on, I’m interested in seeing how hard and fast things escalate in this story, since Odette gave off a strong vibe of being at the edge of a precipice last time.
Anyhow, jumping straight into things:
Chapter 4
[QUOTE"]The Lumiose City Police Department was a towering block of a building. Odette had been told countless times that the structure was hundreds of years old, and it truthfully still looked the part. Same degraded gray bricks and mansard-style roofs bordered with stone druddigons that glared down upon anybody who dared draw near. A huge stone arch surrounded the front double doors, which opened and closed as people arrived and left. She brushed arms with maybe five or six people before actually going inside. She hoped her grandpa wouldn’t be too swamped to meet.[/QUOTE]
The building’s architects had some great taste, really.
As she eyed the enormous LCPD emblem etched into the shiny tiles of the front lobby, she briefly recalled how she used to skip laps around the perimeter of that same emblem when she was younger. She spent some of her time off from school here when her mother was too busy with professor work, and her nana was off coordinating Pokemon contests or coaching some poor soul in them. Bernard would bring her along, and she’d follow him around the office like a baby ducklett, watching him do his police business while he reminded her that the world wasn’t always so fine and dandy and why she needed to stay alert and observant.
Oh so that’s what Odette’s mother did for a profession. Though wonder what became of her given that we haven’t exactly seen a lot of her in this story since the Prologue.
To make sure she was doubly aware, he’d enroll her in some peewee self-defense classes, the curriculum ranging from saying no to strangers and, if that didn’t work, how to break out of bindings or how to disarm an attacker. The classes got more intense as she got older, eventually tapering off into a gun defense class that landed her a permit to handle a concealed firearm. It was only then that she realized the master plan behind him bringing her along to his work as often as he did, and she supposed it made sense. The overprotective cop must ensure his granddaughter is equipped to handle anything nefarious.
Odette’s mom told grandpa about that fling with the creepy dude that one summer who kept going on about demonology, didn’t she?
At the very least, she could say she wouldn’t be able to read the world as well as she did had she not spent so much time here. She owed him that much.
Ah yes, police bupper is in the house. Or at least I’m pretty sure that’s what that cry is.
It was the same thing every time she visited, no matter how long it’d been. Bombardment of greetings from her grandpa's coworkers, human and Pokemon alike. All the “how’ve you been”s and “you look great”s came one after another as she walked through the lines of desks spread out through the third floor. She couldn’t help but notice that some of them still spoke to her like she was six, but she guessed that was just out of habit. She hadn’t grown a lot since then, anyway. Nonetheless, she flashed her typical half smile as she waved and engaged in slight small talk as she walked.
Odette: “Can’t tell whether that’s endearing or demeaning as hell, really.”
As the chief of police, Bernard got his own office at the back of the space. The bulletproof window flashed his full name, and it was fitted with a heavy wood door that he could open and close as he pleased. Such a luxury in a place like this. For now, it stood open, and he was leaning on the door frame.
That actually makes me wonder now whether or not Bernard’s been cognizant of Odette accessing his desk computer all along through something like CCTV. Since you’d think that’d be running at all hours inside a police station.
“What a surprise,” he chuckled when she approached. Despite his bright smile and laugh, she could see the sleepiness on his face.
Can’t tell if that’s from being kept up all night from work, or the disquieting experience of walking in on a couple dozen bodies from a mass Sacrilege overdose. Maybe both, really.
“I’m full of them,” Odette said. She didn’t bother to wait for a response before going in for a hug, and Bernard didn’t hesitate to return it.
“What brings you by here? I figured you’d still be in class at this time,” he said when he let her go.
She shrugged. “Maybe I skipped,” she said. “Don’t arrest me.”
She brushed past him and sat in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, throwing her bag and helmet into the empty one next to it. Her eyes then travelled to the corner, where Bernard’s trusted arcanine friend, Toulouse, lay curled up, fast asleep. He blew smoke out of his nose every exhale, indicating it was quite a deep sleep. She frowned nonetheless.
Wait, how much of a Growlithe/Arcanine convention is LCPD’s main precinct anyways, since I presume the one that greeted Odette wasn’t Toulouse, but you never know…
Toulouse: “*Zzz… Grnk, no, no, a little more to the left…*”
Bernard: “I’m sure he’ll make it up to you after he’s a bit less tired.”
Bernard watched her with a raised brow before shaking his head and nudging the door shut. “He’s dead tired, so I’m letting him rest. The lucky bugger,” he said as he trudged back to his seat. He had an abnormal sway in his step, which told her he was certainly on the verge of collapse. He threw himself down into the swivel chair, and a deep yawn escaped him.
Odette: “And the bags under your eyes, and T being passed out in a corner, and your tone of voice-”
Bernard: “Alright, alright, I get it, Odette.” >_>;
Odette flashed her own smile before she dove her hands into her bag again. “I have something that will help, though.”
“Seeing that helmet wakes me up enough,” Bernard said. “It terrifies me that you’re still driving around on that damn bike.”
She scoffed to herself. She pulled a plastic bag containing snacks out and dropped it on his desk, hoping the sight of it would deter him from the lecture she knew was coming. He gave her some version of it every time he saw her helmet or even the motorcycle itself.
People die on those things every day. I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about other drivers not seeing you. I’ll look into helping you get a car instead if that’s how you want to get around…
I mean, would Bernard really feel that much better if Odette was stuck in a knockoff Renault Twingo or Citröen 2CV in Not!Parisian traffic? Not like those would do a dramatically better job at protecting their riders in a crash. :V
“What’s scarier? Me driving a motorcycle or flying around on a Pokemon? The drop is much farther down if I were on a Pokemon, just saying.”
“People die from falling off their Pokemon less than they do crashing bikes,” Bernard said pointedly.
That feels like an incredible accomplishment there, since you’d think that there’d be no shortage of prospective Darwin Award winners who think that just because they finally got a Charizard that they’re suddenly a master rider and can handle anything.
“Well, thank the gods I’ve never crashed.”
With that, she began to empty the contents from the bag: two bottles of Moomoo milk and a large pack of Oreos. Bernard’s face lit up, as expected.
Oh, so there’s just straight-up Oreos in this setting. Not even a knockoff name of them, huh? Never would’ve pegged WSBS having Nabisco as a corporate sponsor, but TIL.
… How many times has Odette managed to buy off her gramps with junk food like this anyways?
They each plucked a cookie from the box. Odette held hers between both hands, prepping to pull it open, and he did the same. They eyed one another, an air of friendly competitiveness starting to fill the office space.
That makes me wonder if there’s certain types of Oreo that one or the other likes more than the other, or if these two are just on the same wavelength when it comes to their junk food.
“Three,” they said in unison before pulling the stacked cookies apart. They both eyed the pieces with the cream filling still squished against them. Odette frowned when she saw that this particular piece was very stingy on the filling.
I mean there was the whole moment where she had a barely-disguised psychotic episode in front of the whole gymnasium, but it would probably be for the best to not mention that out loud right now. ^^;
“I’m sticking it to the man and the establishment of education.”
Bernard’s brow raised. “Sticking it to the man by leaving school and...visiting a police station?”
Odette: “As in ‘I’m pretty sure he was drugging his Pokémon but don’t have a way of proving it’ bad.” ._.;
“So you won? That’s hardly a reason to skip, then.”
She shook her head as she pulled the cookie apart. “No, it wasn’t like that.” She paused. “I mean, we did win, but when I say bad, I mean...bad bad. Like, you should lock him up downstairs bad.”
Bernard: “Not that that isn’t terrible, but you do realize that there’s a wide swath of performance-enhancing substances that technically aren’t crimes to use on Pokémon-”
Odette: “Including Sacrilege?”
Bernard: “... What happened out there again?”
She didn't remember him being so...threatening in high school. Or as insufferable. She knew people changed after graduating, and she supposed changing for the worse was always possible.
Bernard leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. The look in his eyes signalled that had caught his interest. “That’s mildly concerning coming from you. Why is that?”
Bernard: “And do you have any proof that this opponent’s Pokémon were on Sacri-” .-.
Odette: “Grandpa, I’m getting to it.” >_>;
She shoved the entire empty half of the cookie in her mouth, deciding to start poking the beartic. She couldn't come out and ask him about what she'd found out, but she could damn well start dropping some lines.
“Well, for starters, his family’s in the shiny trade. That alone should get them thrown in prison.”
Wait, but isn’t that technically legal in this setting-
Bernard rolled his eyes and rubbed his left temple. He didn't give away any implication that this information might have bothered him. He was too damn good at acting like nothing was wrong here.
“I’m not entirely in disagreement there, Swanna,” he huffed. “Unfortunately, that would get me sued.”
Bernard: “Oh yeah, since they’ve been doing such a good job at shutting the Shiny trade down.”
Odette: “At least you could help fight against it if you were one!” >.<
“Even if I were a lawmaker, I doubt I’d be able to do much,” he said. “The ones that have been in office have been trying to get the trade abolished since you were in Vienna’s stomach.”
So just how much shiny trade lobbyist money goes into the Kalosian legislature anyways? ^^;
She pursed her lips in disdain. Twenty-two years of trying to get that establishment overturned, and nothing? And shiny involvement in the sacrilege crisis was getting swept under the rug? There were pieces here, and she couldn't make them fit.
Translation: “A crapton of local politicians are getting donations from various shiny trading outfits and they’re strongly incentivized to keep the spice flowing no matter how abhorrent the trade is.”
“Does that not concern you?” she asked.
“Everything in this region concerns me, hun,” Bernard said solemnly. “But I’m only one person.”
Why do I get a feeling that we’re going to see this general sentiment pop up a lot in this story when dealing with “systemic problem or injustice that is a PITA to deal with”?
“Right,” she relented. “Your focus is on the sacrilege issue right now, anyway.”
He sipped lazily from his milk bottle before another yawn sounded from him. “I take it you watched the news this morning.”
She cautiously began to work at the cap of her own milk bottle, considering how she wanted to piece together her next question. This time, she decided to tread a little closer to bluntness.
Yeah, Bernard totally knows about Odette snooping into his work computer.
Bernard shot her a knowing yet warning look. “The news knows just as much as I do,” he said. “I’ll just be reiterating what’s been said if you start drilling me. And even if I did know certain profound things that haven't been disclosed yet, who said I could tell you?”
She frowned. "That hasn't stopped you in the past," she muttered defiantly. "You told me about the new side effects they discovered. And about a few cases before they went public."
Okay, yeah, this all but confirms that Bernard knows about Odette’s amateur sleuthing.
“Let's not forget the nuance of those instances, though. I only chose to inform you of things because they were being told to the press not long after," he said sternly, holding up a finger. "Anything else? I have to stay tight-lipped, even to my precious, eager granddaughter."
Somehow I double that he tries that hard to keep his lips shut. Though dunno. Maybe Bernard really does roll this way.
That was pretty much the expected response. What she'd found was far from little. She supposed it was worth a shot, but a shot that would inevitably miss. Scrubbing files hardly seemed like something they'd want to drop to the press any time soon, no matter the reason.
What on earth was in those things before they got wiped?
With a heavy sigh, Bernard bowed his head. "Look, Swanna,” he said earnestly. He leaned over the desk, pushing some papers aside and setting down the bottle to fold his hands together. “There’s nothing even to say. Anything the press knows is stuff we know, and anything the press doesn’t know is stuff we’re still determining if it’s worth knowing. Which...isn’t much,” he explained.
[ ] He then lowered his voice. “But that’s about all I have for you.”
Would suggest breaking this in two and expanding the bit of description surrounding Bernard lowering his voice since this is a lot happening all in one paragraph here.
She'd be impressed with that performance if it didn't royally piss her off. He sat back and began to rub his temple again.
His eyes on her softened up a little. In fact, he even smiled again. Feeling a sense of bashfulness coming over her, Odette shrugged her shoulders and averted her gaze off to her left.
“That aside, I wouldn’t be surprised if my opponent in class today was getting high with his Pokemon on sacrilege," she shot back, forcing the feeling to pass and keep the conversation going.
Odette: “Actually, I did before we went on that whole tangent about-”
Bernard: “Not canon, Swanna!”
“Well, it’s a hunch. Kind of. I saw something.”
“What kind of hunch? What did you see?”
She crossed her legs and began to twiddle her thumbs, taking a moment to recall the incident in as much detail as her brain would allow. Dorien’s words, his stances, his looks. He spoke in such a dark way. Like he meant everything that came out of his mouth. And how he smiled at her so soullessly, how the light drained from his eyes...everything about it screamed wrong. And that was on him alone.
Oh, I didn’t realize that Dorien was also exhibiting signs of taking Sacrilege himself and thought that was all on his Pokémon. What are the signs of a human being on Sacrilege anyways? Since I’m not sure if this story has ever concretely laid out what that looks like before.
She couldn't very well tell Bernard she was also deducing that Dorien's involvement in the shiny trade was leading him to sacrilege, but she figured that would be enough for now.
“It was...the way he stared at me when we were battling. And his Pokemon? He had an excadrill partner, and it was too powerful. It took Ange out in an Earthquake. It was so well aimed, it was scary. You can't fucking aim Earthquake like that. There's no magnitude high enough for that kind of control,” she explained. "Then, then, then, his conkeldurr--"
"Odette--" Bernard tried to cut her off, but she kept talking.
Wait, so how fast is Odette motor mouthing all of this anyways?
"He went straight for Ange, and Ange fainted. He wasn't fighting. Went straight for him, drooling. Dorien even said something about having fresh meat, and I didn't even know conkeldurr were fucking carnivores, I just--"
… That actually makes me wonder, but is it even possible for a trainer not on Sacrilege to give it to his/her Pokémon? Or is it inherently a package deal in order to work?
"Odette."
She stopped talking and glanced back at her grandfather. She took notice at the way his demeanor had changed. Eyes slightly narrowed, shoulders somewhat tense, hand on his computer keyboard. He was in his information-gathering mode, it seemed. It made her feel at least a little better that he was listening to her in the slightest, even though he'd cut her off.
"Slow down," he said. "You sound frantic, and we don't think clearly when we're frantic."
Cue Odette going straight back into motor mouth mode.
She was quiet for a moment to consider where to begin from. "You know how psychopaths are? How they can turn off and on?" she asked. "We started talking before class, and everything was fine. But he progressively got more and more off. Then during the battle, it was like an entire mood shift," she explained.
She brought her finger up to her braid and began fiddling with it. Her eyes moved to Bernard's wall of plaques, and she began to look them over while she allowed herself to speak.
"Like, something just shut off. His look was different, his voice was different. Different person. There were even points where it felt like he was trying to grate on me. Threaten me."
Does Dorien have one of those Blood Legendaries inside of him himself or something? Or is the different look and voice just a known behavior of people on Sacrilege in this setting?
She stopped talking, only to allow her words to stew in Bernard's brain for a second. When he didn't respond, she finally stared back at him. She was confident in her own show right there, and it seemed to be getting to him.
“It's something I dwelled on a lot on my ride over. I know people are besting move power all the time, so maybe it's nothing but...” she trailed off. "It bothered me a little."
"A little," Bernard said in a breath as he rested his chin in his hand, tapping his fingers against his cheek. It looked like he was truly considering her words, and the next thing she knew, he was logging into his computer.
TIL that this is apparently an honest-to-goodness surname IRL. Though I suppose it makes sense given that “Goodman” is one in English and semantically means the same thing.
Bernard paused. It was quick, but a pause nonetheless. With a short huff, he pursed his lips questioningly. "Dorien? You mean that chemistry boy you were always hanging around with?"
… Wait, you understand? Bernard, what on earth are you getting at right now? .-.
She watched him do some typing, clicking through every now and then. She watched as he bobbed his head, muttered to himself, and squinted. She couldn’t tell exactly what he was doing, but she had at least an inkling of an idea that he was looking into her concern.
“Hm, well,” he said after a few minutes. “What you described does sound peculiar. Enough to warrant some concern in me. However, unless we catch Mr. Bonhomme with sacrilege in his possession, I can't do much with this for the moment. The most I can do is have somebody look into keeping an eye on him. You're free to do that as you wish, as long as you steer clear."
Odette: “... You’re kidding me.” >.<
Bernard: “That is admittedly why I asked if you had a way of proving that Dorien was using Sacrilege, Swanna.” ^^;
She didn’t know why she was expecting a little more to come out of that, but she wasn’t sure what else there was there to do. There wasn’t much even the LCPD chief of police could do without a photo or video evidence of Dorien snorting sacrilege with his Pokemon pals in the bathroom. She supposed it was enough that Bernard was taking her claim even remotely seriously.
That actually makes me wonder if there’s going to be a plotline of dealers cutting other drugs with Sacrilege, especially if it’s cheaper or more addictive than them. Since it wouldn’t be the first time a drug’s been cut with a much more dangerous adulterant by dealers out to make a buck.
“You still have your gun just in case, right?” he asked.
Odette released a gruff breath. “Locked up under my bed, yeah.”
That actually makes me wonder how much gun laws in Kalos take after those in France, since IRL you need a yearly license to keep weapons on your person there that’s usually very sparingly approved. Not that I’d expect the granddaughter of a police chief to have any problems with that.
“Considering I have a friend that will bite somebody’s head off if I flash him a pecha berry and tell him to, the gun seems sort of redundant.”
I take it that Odette has yet to really get a strong brush with danger, since this sounds like a fast way to tempt fate for a circumstance when her Pokémon aren’t able to come to her aid.
Bernard flexed his lips, and Odette braced for a different lecture. Not one related to her motorcycle safety, but one related to her Pokemon safety. And this time, she wasn’t getting out of it.
“And what will you do if you can’t get your pokeball out in time?”
Odette: “... I’ll take them around in public, Johto-style?” ^^;
Bernard: “Yeah, good luck with that considering Pokémon in the open are forbidden in vast swaths of the city.” >_>;
She stared at him with a deadpan expression. “We had the voice activation keys installed on them for that reason.”
Wait, that’s a thing in this setting? Though that sounds like a bit of a double-edged sword since all that a malicious actor would need send Odette’s Pokémon out at a bad time would be recorded clips of her voice.
“And if they malfunction? And you have to reboot the ball? Or, gods forbid, something happens to your Pokemon once they’re out? Then what? I’d trust Toulouse in a pickle before anything else, but they train the force to use guns for a reason...”
This is going to wind up coming back to bite Odette at some point down the road, isn’t it?
She then noticed that his expression had grown serious again and wasn’t letting up. She reluctantly sipped from her milk, biding her time before she had to speak again.
“If you must know, I’m also keeping it locked up for the safety of my fellow Kalos citizens,” she said. She brought the bottle back to her mouth. “I’ve been flaring up a lot lately,” she muttered into the glass.
… That’s actually a really valid point that Odette is bringing up there given that she literally had to restrain herself from violently attacking Dorien on multiple occasions last chapter.
His response was slow. “Should I be worried? Do we need to look into you going back to therapy?”
Yes, you should. But therapy alone isn’t going to fix this.
She began to bite the rim of the bottle mindlessly. She counted the number of times she’d gotten mad at something in the past twenty-four hours.
There were a couple of little things that happened at rehearsal yesterday, then the street racers. That was the biggest one of the day. Her Pokemon’s shenanigans when she got home were another small instance. Then just that morning, she’d missed a light on the way to school and beat her fist on her handlebar so hard that she almost broke her broken handle. Then there was the whole Dorien fiasco. She got really mad there. That would probably go down as the biggest one of the day. Then, she almost lost it on the guy in front of her at the poke center who was insisting the poor nurse didn’t heal his Pokemon all the way…
So, a lot. There was a lot. About on the same level as what used to happen before...thatthing happening.
Wait, has Odette had a bad episode with meds in the past? Since this feels like a fairly particular thing to insist on there.
That got a scoff out of her. "They were never on the table to begin with, Grandpa. My body's fucked up as it is." A pause. "I'm just fucked up as it is."
She'd always been a quiet, well-behaved kid most of the time. But, when she exploded? The schoolyard fights and tantrums were abundant. It was troubling enough that it scared her mother and grandparents. Doctor visits chalked it up to anger management issues resulting from a certain hormone deficiency--the same hormone that left her so underdeveloped in more ways than one--as the doctors had put it. They put her on medication for a while, but all it did was exacerbate her health problems.
Yeah, I knew there was a story behind Odette brushing medication off reflexively, though I’m now morbidly curious as to what these “exacerbated health problems” looked like.
"Honey, don't say that," Bernard sighed sympathetically. "You can't help the things you were born with."
Bernard always did what he could to help keep her under control. She was always fine when she did things she liked, and she'd learned to play off his calm demeanor. That worked out for a while.
"Sure, but we've seen the shit I do when I'm too pressed. You can only pin so much of that on a hormone problem," Odette grumbled.
And boy is Odette right there, even if she doesn’t know it yet.
She remembered her last day of preschool, right before they moved out of Brackish Town. Some asshole kid in her class kicked a wild bidoof for walking off with the playground soccer ball, and she lost it on him for being so cruel. She'd only meant to twist his hand until he cried, but she couldn't control herself. She could still vividly remember how red her vision had gotten, and she snapped his finger in the heat of the moment.
Okay, this explains a lot about how Odette murdered her sexual assaulter. Just how much strength does she have when Venira’s stirring inside her? .-.
The school wanted her barred from attending future grades, that being the straw that broke the camerupt's back. It didn't matter then because her family was already in the process of moving out to the city.
That’s debatable given that Odette already has a bodycount right now.
Bernard, Marieanne, and Vienna ultimately decided she needed help after the move. That led to years of visiting a psychiatrist every week, and it was that guidance that ultimately led her to take dance and, eventually, singing lessons. Ways to "hone her emotions" as it had been put in the sessions.
Which in turn led to the incident™, which I can’t imagine helped her mood afterwards.
Adding to the occasional trainer school, her tantrums faded into virtual obscurity. Once in a blue moon, she’d crack. But she never broke another person’s finger again.
Now that all of her extracurriculars had become a source of stress for her, it seemed her tantrums had returned for old times' sake. Taking up more trainer school was barely helping, and being on the sidelines of a performance was probably only making it worse. All because of that thing. That stupid thing.
… You mean, you haven’t resumed therapy in the wake of the incident™? Or is that because you’re inherently constrained by whatever hush money agreement you have going on with your school about what you can say about it? .-.
She’d stopped going a few months ago because the thought of spending an hour discussing her feelings was giving her more anxiety than she currently needed to be piled on. She wasn't five anymore; she couldn't be coaxed into talking with snacks and a cool puzzle. Nowadays, she'd rather keep to herself.
Bernard didn’t like that answer. Odette briefly thought he would let it go, but she knew better.
“Are you sure? Is there something else bothering you? I told you if you just wanted to focus on trainer school for now, I would help you out. You didn’t have to take that job at the cent–”
Oh, her job at the theater, huh? Or is this referring to something else there?
She held up a hand to silence him. “It’s not like that,” she said reassuringly. “I was making a subtle observation, and like a responsible gun owner, I’m dealing with it accordingly. And I’m fine with the way things are.”
Narrator: “She is not fine with the way things are.”
He sighed deeply. Very deeply. Which told Odette he still wasn’t convinced. She wasn’t necessarily shocked because the apple never fell far from the tree.
“I’m still worried about you, Swanna,” he said. “I know you say you’re fine, and it has been over a year since everything happened, but...maybe you could try focusing on something completely new?” he suggested. “If trainer school isn’t helping, take time off. Quit your job. Go travel. Have an adventure in another region.”
Yeah, see above. Even if I wonder what sort of unholy mess Odette is going to leave behind in Kalos before making the jump over to the islands.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Not what I meant. But fine.” He tapped his fingers against the desk. “Then quit your job and do an internship here. I’ll put you and your observational skills to work. You should just get away from performing arts for a while. Focus on something else.”
I mean, Bernard might be onto something here given that Odette has already been playing amateur sleuth…
She’d barely had enough time to start considering his words when somebody knocked at the closed door. She instinctively whipped her head around to face it as Bernard yelled, “It’s open!”
The door swung open, and one of the younger cops shyly poked his head in.
“Uh, sorry to bother you, chief. It’s not urgent, we just need you to come look at something real quick.”
Odette exchanged looks with Bernard, and he stood up. “Hold that thought. I’ll be back in a second.”
“No rush,” she said. She watched as they walked out the door, and Bernard pulled the door closed behind him, leaving her to the quietness of the confined space.
Focus on something else, he’d said. Truthfully, he had a point.
Wow, even Odette is agreement with me here. Wonder if we really are going to see her palling around LCPD in future chapters.
Her exposure therapy wasn’t doing her any favors. Training school was a temporary fix until she had to get up in front of the class and show off her skills. She’d only gotten away with it today because she was so pissed off at Dorien that she couldn’t see straight.
Well that and Dorien lost it at the end, since I kinda get the feeling that things wouldn’t have ended well had Odette outright lost to him or one of her Pokémon got chewed up in that match.
She grabbed a couple more Oreos and tossed one in her mouth, not bothering to break it up into bites. Her eyes darted around the office, taking in all the familiar plaques, pictures, and posters Bernard had hung up all over the grey-blue walls. Pictures of him with his human squad, his Pokemon squad, some awards, and medals.
Her eyes then fell back toward the desk, where he had his horde of family photos out and about for all to see. The one that appeared front and center was a photo of him, cleanly shaven, with no sign of gray in his black head of hair, carrying her as a toddler. She had his police hat on, but it was too big, so it dangled off the side of her head. It was his favorite out of all of them; he gushed about it whenever he could. Those were happier times before she became such a menace.
That now makes me curious as to if Odette holds onto photos from specific seasons of her life from around her apartment that she associates with happy times in her life. Assuming that she has any photos of herself and her family there.
stared at it for a while, letting his words run laps around her brain. He’d suggested travelling, but with such a big move happening so soon, there was no point. Quitting her job at the point she was at seemed like a dick move regarding the rest of the cast. But if she was thinking in terms of herself and her own mentality, Bernard was right. Getting away from a performing arts setting would most likely be best, and taking on some mundane internship here didn’t seem like a–
Cue Bernard’s job loudly barging into Odette’s life in 3… 2…
Her eyes travelled down to the papers on the desk that Bernard had pushed aside earlier. She straightened her posture to get a better look at them. She noticed a couple of sheets of copy paper, some printouts containing marked-up calendars, and an open envelope with what looked to be...a wax seal?
Oh, well that isn’t ominous and questionable at all there.
Her brow furrowed. She peered over her shoulder at the closed door and then the window. The accordion blinds were shut so that nobody could see into the office. She glanced at Toulouse, who had barely moved since she sat down. He was the heaviest sleeping arcanine she’d ever met, and this time, she was thankful for that.
… Wait, is it even possible for her to undo that seal without making it obvious that she tampered with it?
She pursed her lips and stared back at the envelope. The longer she stared at that splotch of pink on the point of the open flap, the more she was positive it was a wax seal. Who the fuck closed their letters with wax seals nowadays? It seemed like such a waste of time.
You see, now you’ve gotten me worried as to who on earth sent that thing, since I can’t think of any governmental or bureaucratic body that would still do this in the modern day.
Nonetheless, when she was positive nobody was headed back, she quietly stood up and grabbed it. With the envelope now in her hands, it was clear that this wasn’t just a standard post office envelope. The paper was aged to a fine yellowish tint and felt thicker than most normal paper. She ran her fingers along the edge of it, flipping it over a few times in search of a return address. She was somewhat surprised to find there was none. Just the letter “B” printed in thick cursive on the front.
It’s from someone either on Team Enigma or someone with links to it, isn’t it?
She eventually examined the seal. It was still intact, with streaks of silver running through the pastel pink hue. The acronym “V.C.” was stamped into it. The flap of the letter was already open, so she pushed it up, only to see that the note the envelope housed had been haphazardly folded back inside. Her grandfather had already opened and read it, so she wouldn’t be tampering with much if she took a peek.
Oh, well that’s fortunate for Odette there, since assuming that Bernard doesn’t walk in on her, she can hide that she looked at this thing easily enough.
Once again, she glanced back at the door, pausing to make sure nobody was about to walk in, then at Toulouse. She waited for him to blow another round of smoke out of his nose before pulling the letter out.
Upon unfolding it, she was somewhat shocked to find that the note wasn’t written in elegant cursive or print. No, it looked like it had been typed out on a typewriter or something. She supposed she was somewhat grateful for that because she couldn’t read cursive to save her life.
Translation: The sender did not want to risk being identified by handwriting analysis. Which is starting to get me thinking that it really was sent from someone in Team Enigma.
Bernard,
Your and your men’s cooperation has proven most helpful. I have my best people stationed within our prime suspect's circles and have gathered far more insight into Team Enigma's happenings. Keep doing what you are doing with your efforts and the press, and we’ll be in touch before the next meeting.
J.L. Ménétries Virtue Corp.
Ah yes, this is where Team Enigma winds up getting sucked up into the plot. Though it makes me wonder just how dangerous this whole business is and how cognizant Bernard is of what’s going on if he was attempting to hide it from Odette.
The longer she stared at the words, the less it made sense. It was such a short note, yet there was so much throwing her for a loop. Cooperation? Suspects? Team Enigma? The press? Virtue Corp?
She read it once, twice, three times, and she still couldn’t make it make sense. Certainly, it seemed like this correspondence had been happening for a while. She’d just intercepted a response of some sort, and she was suddenly dying to see what her grandfather had said in the first place. Hell, what if he was in the middle of writing back to this one? She stood up again and began digging through the pile of papers on the desk. Her search was fruitless, and she slammed herself back into the chair again.
This seems like an absolutely terrible idea since for all you know Bernard is about to walk right back in through the door, but you do you, Odette. ^^;
She cringed at the sound it made, and her gaze moved back to Toulouse. He whined in his sleep and slumped over onto his side, and that was that. She exhaled in relief.
Odette: “Holy crap, RotomPhone, could you possibly say that any louder?!” >.<
RotomPhone: “What’s that, turn up the volume-?”
Odette: “No, the opposite of that!” >_>;
“Shhhh!” she shushed harshly, pointing to the sleeping fire dog. “Send to Noel Massé.”
“Woops, sorry! Bzzzzzt!” the phone said, mimicking a whisper. “Sending to Noel Massé.”
Odette: “I swear to god, I need to just get a normal phone at this rate.” >.<
She shoved the phone back into her bag and zipped it up for good measure. She went back to looking over the note, examining each and every letter, and even the paper itself. On the hunt for something else out of the ordinary, something else that would make this even more bizarre.
The sound of the doorknob clicking snapped her back to reality.
She scrambled to get the note back inside the envelope. It was haphazardly placed to start, so she wasn’t too worried about making it neat. She practically threw it back toward the area where she found it and shuffled a couple of papers around to make it look as close to how it’d been when she initially spotted it. Her butt was barely back in the chair when the door fully opened. She shoved two more Oreos in her mouth for good measure.
inb4 Bernard was able to see Odette frantically shuffling around through the frosted glass or whatever of his corner office. Since I’m not convinced that Odette’s fully in the clear right now.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it, I’ll sign off on that,” Bernard said from the door. Odette turned around to see that his hand was on the knob, he had the door open, but his entire body was facing the other direction. She took a couple of quiet breaths, hoping to slow her heartbeat.
Odette: “So… uh… what exactly was going on out there again?” ^^;
He sat back down and picked up a few more cookies for himself. “What was I saying before I left?” he asked.
[ ] He paused to think, then his eyes lit up momentarily.
“Oh, right.” He bit into a cookie and chewed it for a beat before swallowing it. “You. Finding something else to do with yourself. Keep your mind busy with other things.”
So… send him a text message and tell him “bruh, my dad’s here, call me later?”
“Yeah, I told him we would meet for lunch after I got off school and visited you, but he’s so goddamn impatient,” she said, pushing the exasperated tone. “I’ll get out of your hair and go sate him. The faster I leave, the faster you can go home.”
She stood. “Send to voicemail,” she said again as she shouldered her bag. Bernard stood too, and he went in for the hug first.
That’s debatable, since nobody said that the place where your mind would go would necessarily be better for you.
That time, he appeared to buy her answer. He let her go, allowing her to grab her helmet. She walked toward the door, turning back for one final wave as she pulled it open.
Cue the text of “Goddammit Noel, message me like a normal person the next time I don’t pick up!” in the world’s most obvious angrish text while waiting for the elevator to go down.
And yeeting Chapter 5's portion of this review into its own post since I can't be bothered to undo a ton of image tags.
The collective brightness of Noel’s four computer monitors seemed to overpower the light being emitted by the lamp next to his bed. Odette hung off the back of his ergonomic chair as her eyes locked on the words he’d managed to pull up.
Virtue Corp is an organization dedicated to protecting and rehabilitating Pokemon that have been exposed to and otherwise harmed due to the disgraceful shiny trade. Our goal is not only to protect these mistreated Pokemon but to abolish the shiny trade as a whole.
Yeah, I remember the last time I encountered a shadowy organization out on a crusade to stop a social evil in the games. I don’t exactly trust this ‘Virtue Corp’ just yet.
He fell back against his backrest with a dazed huff, and Odette slowly crossed her arms.
“Well, there you have it. Official website and everything,” Noel said.
Which means exactly nothing given that criminal syndicates literally maintain public contacts in phonebooks in some parts of the world
She raised her hand to her cheek and began to scratch it pensively. “And nothing about J.L. Ménétries?” she asked for the third time since she’d gotten to his house.
Noel exhaled gruffly and leaned back over his desk. He began to click through the rather elegantly crafted website. Odette noticed the accents of pastel pink that appeared against the sleek white background; it matched perfectly with the color of the wax seal.
Odette: “Well, they certainly don’t care about trying to keep people from connecting the dots to their organization through their clandestine letterhead…” .-.
He pulled up the menu titled 'Our Main Staff' and scrolled through it hastily. The random set of names flew by, accompanied by walls of text that might have been these people’s life stories, but nothing that matched the name she’d seen at the end of the note.
I mean, if Ménétries is manipulating LCPD, are you really certain that’s even his real name, Odette?
“I told you, nothing’s here. There isn’t even a person on here who has a name starting with a J,” he explained. “I know that doesn’t mean shit because a pseudonym could be anything, but you know…”
He clicked on another area of the website and began to skim it over. “I couldn’t find anything about a ‘J.L.’ anywhere else. Nothing tied him to something like this. So as far as we know, the guy doesn’t exist.”
Odette and Noel turned to look at the far end of the room, next to the closet, where Enora, Isaur, and Solene were playing Twister with Noel’s partners Braviary, Talonflame, and Vullaby. Solene, the leader she was, had taken to spinning the wheel and making the calls. The latter five were already twisted and turned all around each other. A series of groans fell out of them at the new instruction, right foot red apparently, and suddenly, Talonflame lost his winging and fell flat on his face.
Noel: “... You have a chore wheel for your Pokémon, Odette?” .-.
Odette: “Yeah, yeah, shut up, it’s not that weird.” >_>;
Odette was suddenly happy she’d taken Ange and Loïc home first. She learned the hard way that Talonflame and Ange together always ended in something catching on fire, and Loïc playing Twister was just a disaster waiting to happen. The Monopoly fiasco from the night before was enough. Plus, Noel was scared of him as it was.
How on earth do you manage that during a game of Monopoly? .-.
“Come on, Talonflame! You had that,” Noel huffed.
The sound of the door creaking open prompted them to turn toward it. Standing in the doorway was Noel’s father, carrying a tray with two full wine glasses.
Odette: “(Wait, Noel. You never said anything about him being here!)” o_o;
“Sorry to bother you two, but I bring refreshments!” he said gleefully as he sauntered into the room. Odette grabbed her allotted glass faster than she cared to admit. She didn’t care about the possible hangover that would plague her at rehearsal tomorrow. She needed that buzz in her system pronto, and she’d let future-her deal with the consequences.
Mr. Massé: “(For what, a Swalot’s standards?)” >_>;
Mr. Massé opened his mouth to speak but decided whatever he had to say wasn’t worth it. He simply sighed. “Nevermind. Are you staying for dinner, darling?”
Mr. Massé: “Honey, you’re in a Pokémon setting. Railroading is as natural to it as a Fletchinder’s morning singing.” ^^
"Well, we're not going to send you home empty-handed, adult or not! Dinner will be ready in forty-five minutes, I hope you like ratatouille.” He winked at her before turning on his heel and heading back out, pulling the door shut behind him.
… Not sure how it took me this long to realize that Odette was in Noel’s house. Maybe it’d make sense to give a couple extra reminders to beat it over the readers’ heads a bit harder?
“Lass?” Isaur called in a strained voice. Her head was against a blue dot, and her arm was arched over Vullaby, touching a yellow dot. Of course, she’d still heard ‘ratatouille’ over all of that.
But then there wouldn’t have been plot progression, and we can’t have that, now can we? :^)
She turned her head to shoot him a look. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t have looked at the letter?”
“Fuck no, baby, and I’d have torn apart the whole office looking for more,” he said, setting his glass down on his desk. “Because that was clearly an ongoing conversation. I’m absolutely quaking at the thought of all the juicy information we’re missing...”
Can’t tell if Noel’s going to wind up becoming collateral damage at some point, but this sort of mindset just screams of “this is going to wind up causing serious problems in the future” given what these two just stumbled across.
He suddenly threw his hands up triumphantly as another thought occurred to him. "And I'm just stoked as hell that I figured out the cops were skirting the press before this. I'm so good."
Odette almost wished she had torn apart the office. But that surely would have woken Toulouse up. More importantly, she’d have had to explain to Bernard why his office looked like a hitmonlee had raided it.
I think you’re missing a word in that second paragraph.
“Well, you know what has to happen now,” Noel said darkly, leaning far back in his chair and folding his arms over his chest. The sudden change in his tone made Odette force herself back into a sitting position.
“No, you’re going to have to educate me,” she said.
“Come on, Dee. Look at the facts here,” he said. He slid the chair over to the bed, stopping when his knees touched hers. “It has to be so much more than a crazy coincidence that all of this nonsense happened on the same day.”
Odette: “All of what nonsense, Noel? I think you’re jumping ahead a couple of steps here.”
“Hear me out, though.” He raised a finger. “You happen to run into Dorien, who's apparently in the fucking shiny trade. You never told us that; is that why you stopped hanging out?”
“Yes,” she replied confidently, despite not feeling so. Noel was her best friend, but she somehow couldn't find the words to explain how she had forgotten that fact. "Didn't want to talk about it."
Noel narrowed his eyes for a beat but let whatever thought had come to him go. “Shame because y'all would have made such a hot couple. Drugs and abusive trading methods aside, he's gorgeous."
That’s one hell of an aside there, Noel. Though I suppose he’s not wrong even if from his very dress, Dorien gives off some massive “douchebag” vibes.
Odette swatted at him. “Continue, please.”
Noel raised another finger. “He threatens you and your ‘mon in battle and freaks you out.”
She pressed her lips together silently, and he took that as a sign to continue.
“Then, you visit your grandpa, the chief of Kalos PD, the man headfirst in the sacrilege cases, only to find he’s in contact with some mysterious man who happens to be involved with an organization dedicated to shutting down the shiny trade, who pretty much admitted to Team Enigma existing.” He paused, seemingly for dramatic effect, and held his hands out to his sides.
Odette: “Not seeing how this is more than a coincidence so far, Noel…”
"And also admitted they were warding the press off of something involving shinies, which confirms your find," Odette added in a monotone. He was treading dangerously close to having an extremely valid point.
“Exactly. They know some shit that they don’t want us to know,” he said.
This sounds like a really dangerous game you’re about to jump headfirst into, Noel. But you do you.
She raised her brow at him. “Are you saying we should get involved?”
He leaned back in his chair again, kicking his legs up to rest his sock-covered feet in her lap. “Nosy trainers get involved in police affairs all the time. Hell, the cops even enlist trainers for help once in a while. We wouldn’t necessarily be out of line.”
He shrugged again before resting his arms behind his head. “We have a legit concern, we’re not getting answers, and now we have some pseudo-legit leads. I say we run with it.”
Odette lowered her brows at him before pushing his feet off her lap. “You really should have been a detective. Or a hacker, at the very least.”
He laughed airily. “And let my powerhouse voice and strong dancing legs go to waste? I see you’ve never heard of multitasking. Who says I can’t do both? I need my pretty sidekick to get started.”
His jesting smile signaled a joke, but she knew him well enough to know there was a part of him that was serious. She’d only wanted to see an end to the crisis for her grandfather’s sake, but now it was very clear that he had a bigger foot in it all than he was letting on. That concerned her even more. And how much had they found out? J.L. Ménétries made it seem like they were right on Team Enigma’s trail, yet it was looking like nothing was changing as of late. As far as she could tell.
Was it possible that the Virtue Corp was, in fact, in cahoots with Team Enigma? Were they working alongside each other for some strange reason? Were they stringing the cops along? Were the cops in on it?
You see, given the track record of “shadowy and allegedly altruistic organizations” in canonical mainline… that does seem scarily plausible as a state of affairs, yes.
It had to be just a coincidence that Dorien had decided to pop back into her life on the same day. He and his no-good shiny trading ways, flaunting it all like it was nothing major. She allowed herself to think back to their battle once again. The feeling she got, how her entire body told her to vacate the premises, and how he spoke.
But was that enough to run with? Her gut and her reads on people were usually not wrong…but even if she wanted to go with it, did she want to spend more time with Dorien just for the slightest chance he was possibly involved with sacrilege, and even worse, Team Enigma?
Well, I doubt this is what gramps meant by that suggestion, but…
She was certain this was not what Bernard had meant when he said that, but this was certainly pretty new. She thought back to his tired eyes, the way he’d fallen silent that one week, and how he so seamlessly lied to her face about what he knew.
Her wary gaze cut over to her Pokemon, who were still quite caught up in their game. She could practically hear Solene and Enora screeching in her ears about how this was a bad idea. Isaur would most likely be all for it. Ange would simply go along with whatever, and she was still fairly certain all Loïc could consciously think about was pecha berries and crawling in the air ducts. She wasn’t exactly concerned about breaking the news to him.
Wait, they all can understand all of this if Odette stopped to give them the 411 of their hypothesis that LCPD is being manipulated by a satellite organization of Team Enigma and they need to hang around Dorien for a while to try and prove it?
She decided, then and there, she didn’t care about the stern talking-to in-store by her oldest Pokemon friends. She needed something else to do, and really...perhaps this was it.
Maybe it was the buzz, but she didn’t care at the moment.
Ah yes, I can see that the gang is taking Odette’s suggestion well™ right now.
"You heard me," she replied. "I thought I was pretty clear."
Solene's expression fell, and she settled back into her spot on the couch. Her jaw was clenched, and her stubby hands were balled into fists. The expected worrywart mode that Odette had anticipated since she resolved to discuss her decision with her team.
"Telle," Solene said in a drawl, raising a hand to rub the side of her face.
Odette: “Solene, look. I’m not some helpless child anymore. We can do this.”
Solene: “*Who’s ‘we’ here?*” >_>;
"You don't have to tell me that you think it's a dangerous idea, I'm pretty damn aware of that."
"Gothitelle!" Solene snapped back, whipping her head around to give Odette a wide-eyed look.
"Because!" Odette retaliated, curling her fingers with the intensity of her words. "It's like I said, there's some shit happening here. You saw some of that battle, I showed you the picture of the note, and I told you what Grandpa said and what Noel and I found, there is something. Happening. In Kalos," she stressed. "And I want to figure out what it is."
And she wanted to figure out where exactly her grandfather stood on it. If his lying had gotten a little too out of hand. She wouldn't say that out loud because she didn't want to speak it into existence, but the more she dwelled on it, her curiosity overshadowed her apprehension.
"If not to uncover what's going on with Grandpa, then for my own head."
Solene: “*Look, don’t we get some say in this? Since for the record, this sounds like a terrible idea!*” O_O;
"Lass oss lass?" Isaur interjected cooly, speaking between the bites she took from an apple. Odette paused to consider her words.
"It's better my exploding anger be channeled into getting Dorien thrown in prison and figuring out what the fuck Grandpa's sitting on than going to work and thinking about...everything else," she said.
inb4 this horribly backfires and it winds up keeping Dorien out of prison by some sort of action that wouldn’t have happened had she opted to stay out of things.
She fell silent as her more intrusive thoughts started to seep in, but she quickly shook them off.
That was exactly why she needed to do it. She wouldn't have time to dwell on the past if she were sleuthing; at the very least, her flaring anger could prove useful in keeping her determined. Somehow. Maybe.
Solene: “*Oh my gods, are you two listening to yourselves right now?!*”
Ange + Isaur:
Ange: “*Yeah, and that’s why we want in. Especially to get back at that damned mud rat for running me over with an Earthquake earlier today.*”
"You'd come along with me. To wherever I went, with or without Dorien. You'd help me investigate and provide me with more physical backup if we had to fight."
Oh, so I’m not terribly far off with those cutaway gags, huh? o<o
It was there that Loïc scurried out from under the coffee table, the remnants of three pecha berry stems hanging in his shadowy hand. He proceeded to scuttle around, looking for a place to put them, and when he couldn't find one, he settled for hopping up onto the couch and settling into Odette's lap. Once there, he politely set them on her thigh.
"Kyu," he declared, nuzzling down into her legs to get comfortable. Odette stared at him, unamused by the fruit remains staining her pants leg, but set a hand on his fake head nonetheless.
Loïc’s going to be able to have his vote bought by whoever fronts him the most Pecha Berries, isn’t he?
"Thanks for that, Loïc. Appreciate it." She used her free hand to toss the stems onto the table. She'd grab them later. At least he was for it, but that was also expected.
Loïc: “*It’s simple. Odette has the Pecha Berries, and my vote goes to whoever holds the Pecha Berries.*”
Solene: “*Oh my gods…*”
All was silent again as Solene and Enora had yet to vocalize their stance.
"I should also note that I'm not going to force any of you into going along with this," Odette said. "I'm giving you the option, but I understand our creative differences. Don't be obliged to tag along on my account because it's settled, I'm doing this for me now. My brain. My head. My distraction.”
[ ]
“I'm armed and in a better headspace, and I will figure it out. Noel and his team will be coming along too, so I won't be alone even if you decide to back out. That's a promise. I know better."
IMO, it probably makes sense to cut Odette’s dialogue up into two paragraphs here and add some sort of pause or something in between
There was still no response until Odette felt Solene shift uncomfortably next to her. With a grouchy groan, the gothitelle settled into the back cushion.
"Ee. Telle," she huffed.
An agreement. A reluctant one, but an agreement nonetheless.
She just said something to the effect of “Somebody’s going to need to bail you out”, didn’t she?
Solene was definitely the worried mum of the group, but she could also be persuaded if the others were eager to go along. She would never be able to sit still, knowing they were all running around doing detective work, and she wasn't there to remind them to be careful. Fine. Odette would accept that.
Feeling pretty good about that prediction, really. :V
She then looked over at Enora, who had her eyes trained on the floor for most of the conversation. Her lips were pressed together into a taut line. She was disgruntled. And thinking hard about something.
I’m surprised that Enora hadn’t been speaking up more about this the entire time, but I suppose some people are the types to just shut down when confronted by uncomfortable prospects, so…
"I hate to say it," Odette said, "but this probably hits the closest home for you. These are shinies we're talking about. But I would also understand why it would make you uncomfortable."
Odette: “... Enora? You’re kinda freaking me out here.” ._.;
"Vee," she said sharply. She hopped off her cushion and walked toward Odette's bedroom. As she went, the tips of her tendrils were engulfed in a faint blue glow, which traveled to the pecha stems. They levitated off the coffee table, toward the kitchen, and into the sink.
Odette sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. "Enora, come on," she called after her. "Don't be like that, I'm not forcing you to do anything! If you have a thought, say it!" She paused. "And I was going to grab those!"
The sound of the bedroom door shutting was the response.
Solene: “*... That’s more of a ‘hell no’, Odette.*”
Enora wasn't on board, and Odette could have figured that out even if she hadn't spoken. But, like Solene, she wouldn't let her trainer or team go out and about without any extra protection. Odette hadn't wanted anyone, especially Enora, to feel obliged to join the cause, but she should have known better. Enora would have followed her into a live volcano if it meant she could make sure nobody got hurt.
Which should worry you a lot right now as to why she doesn’t want to get involved in this, Odette.
But, something about the aggrieved way Enora had answered left Odette feeling that there was something left to be said. Like whatever had been on her mind, she'd decided to keep to herself for whatever reason. It wasn't like Enora at all.
Yes, and that’s a sign to figure out what on earth is going on with her reluctance before plowing full steam ahead.
It wasn't the note Odette wanted to start out on, but there was no smoothing it over at the moment. Perhaps they'd talk at a later date, more privately and intimately. Maybe she'd have one-on-ones with everyone, just to be safe.
Wait, Enora agreed with Odette’s plan? I honestly did not get that vibe and thought that she flatly rejected it. It might make sense to make it a bit more obvious that it’s a “yes, but I hate this” sort of attitude from Enora through either the narration or through Odette’s dialogue.
Well, even if things didn’t play out quite the way I was expecting, I see things really are escalating hard and fast in this story in short order, given that Odette and Noel’s amateur sleuthing has taken them to the doorstep of the world of Team Enigma… and a lot more quality time™ with Dorien. While I was honestly expecting Venira to be on the table by now, these two chapters succeeded quite well at selling a sense of tension and building intrigue, especially since Odette’s now in a position where she can’t take it for granted that she can trust one of her closest figures in her life. The backstory reveal behind Odette was also fun, and even if Venira’s not ready to make her big entrance in the story, it sure feels like you’re doing a lot to build towards it given how we’ve seen through between the lines that Odette’s entire life has existed in her shadow.
As for criticisms that I have… I don’t have too many relative to the length of these two chapters, but I did notice that you had some recurring paragraphs that seemed long and idea-dense enough to the point where they probably would’ve worked better cut up into pieces. I also thought there were a couple parts that suffered a bit from a lack of or from unclear description. Enora’s moment grudgingly agreeing to join the gang and their plan to try and get to Team Enigma through Dorien was one of the standout moments, since it took a while to pick up on what the intended meaning was in a way that I’m not sure would’ve been as much of a struggle had there been a bit more description thrown around. Nothing that’s dealbreaking in terms of problems, but definitely things to keep in mind if you’re planning on going back to revise these chapters further at some point.
Nice work, @Sinderella . It’ll likely take me a while to get back to this story again outside of another review exchange, but I can understand the draw behind it, and even if they’re all flawed types, the cast of this story and the web of intrigue that connects them is fascinating to watch. Makes me wonder just how much longer something resembling normalcy is going to remain for Odette before she and her anger burn everything up.
Hello! Here to catch up on my newest gossip about rich people.
Many things fall into place in these chapters indeed. I was listening very closely bc it's such a compelling mystery and had quite the fun connecting my own dots. So when I'm poking around a bit more than usual, it's again coming from a place of "I have listened really closely and there might be some gaps here and there"
The first part has Odette and Noel shamelessly spying on hot men and having a good time while doing so. First off, I liked the way you described Clovis's performance on the ice there. It felt very flowy and very much conjured up images of figure skaters.
As to the level of hornyness: It's somewhat of a double standard, but Noel has a more classy/shameless approach to being horny, and thus reads more comfortable. After a certain amount of cycles I became concerned Odette would actually have to excuse herself to the bathroom soon.
Her hornyness in general is a bit "sus" (?) to me. Like, I frankly don't know how it plays out in her head and stuff. What she's going through here might be very much possible. But I thought she was demi? As in, attracted to a few, choice people. Would a demi-person get sexual even if they didn't recognise their lover and thus the emotional connection to them? On the other hand, she's very much into Clovis's looks, ever since she saw him at the party. There's nothing she really likes about his character at this point, because the last three chapter made a point about how little she knows. So I guess she just has a very specific type in men?
As for Clovis... urgh... he set up this date, and I can't fault him for it. But yeez, man, did you need to make it so obvious? First, he only enters the ice to impress Odette and Noel. No way this was a training session. He didn't even do some cooldown stretches. It was supposed to look like one, though. And yeah, man being good with children is a really low shot to get into a woman's good graces. Like, it makes sense for him to do that -- he wants to come across the best way possible -- I just detest him on a personal level for this sort of manipulation.
In part 2 we're finally getting to the meat of the issue. The tasty, tasty meat. Many things to explain, and you did an overall good job with it. It's hard getting so many facts across in a natural way, and it does really come off natural. Big kudos!
The only times I felt the flow got stifled a bit was when Noel asked about Clovis LeClair (more on that in the linequotes) and when Odette's mind jumped around between Enora and her symptoms.
It's obvious that she would worry about Enora. (Though here, I also haven't seen any ill health or behaviour outside the ordinary from Enora in previous chapters. If you told me Loic had a bloodtype, yeah, I'd buy that instantly.)
But then she comes to the conclusion that her own symptoms are very much like those Clovis just described. And that stretch is a bit far? Like, she has high blood pressure and anger management issues. These are some very common afflictions, and she doesn't have the knowledge that we do, from the prologue. So why would she conclude that she, who has never taken sacrilege before and so far only heard about the effect on pokemon, also has a bloodtype. (side-note, but the word bloodtype throws me for a gleeful loop everytime it comes up. "What? Are you telling me, Odette has a bloodtype?!?!?! Might she even be a bloodtype 0?")
Counterargument to the points above: She has been in contact with Dorien, so she had some contact with sacrilege. But also, she doesn't remember his powdery assault in the car, so... She might also be so ashamed of her illnesses that she desperately clings on to any explanation that makes them not something she's born with. She's of course not to blame for being born with a predisposition, but to her, it may feel like it being her fault. But if this is the case, if she is projecting really hard, the text doesn't bring it across.
Then the conversation itself gets a bit jumbled up between Odette worrying about Enora and herself. I think inserting something like "half of me was asking about Enora, the other half because I was concerned about myself" would help to explain why she's thinking about herself but talking about Enora.
Okay, then Clovis. He's very much Clovis in this chapter... or Valentin. Though, I found it weird that the narration adopted the name "valentin" to address him already in chapter one. Like, Odette and Noel are super sus, so I'd imagine they only accept and address him as valentin after they learned the fate of the real clovis. But he's really going through the motions here, huh? I find his alcohol habit more than concerning and am glad that the narration does so, too. Then he has some times when he's suddenly very interested or freaked out by what Odette says, which is sus, and if there wasn't so much information to digest, I'd look a lot closer into that. Him moving around is what keeps the second part from being a static conversation and really helps the flow a lot. Though he's giving such strong Christian Grey vibes, I can't even...
All in all, two very enlightening chapters. Between the two, I like the second part a lot better, mostly because part 1 is a bit... hm... It feels a little drawn out and both Noel and Odette sometimes come very close to the edge of common decency. Two, however, steps up the pace a lot and is very enjoyable.
Noel is a treat as always, though I noticed that Odette always gets to ask the "important" questions. Would have been nice to see Noel putting something together before she does and her marveling at him. (in the same vein, where did Acacia go? She kinda dropped off the roster a bit.) But there's this one scene where Noel makes a little happy dance and Odette has to hold back laughter, and it was so sweet! Their friendship is very believable.
Now I'm hyped up again for some crime investigation! Have many new infos and theories, want to put them into practise asap. Good fic PLS UPDATE! Cheers, blue
The missing "Is" doesn't sound like Odette straining to grasp things. The only time I can picture her talking like this is when she's chewing popcorn on movie night.
He didn’t immediately look ready to answer, as indicated by the deep breath he inhaled. “…unfortunately,” he said. “But that’s not important now. Stick a pin in that.”
She hated how defensive she felt. What was there to defend? It had to be a coincidence. Many medical issues caused those problems, as so graciously showcased by all the tests she was subjected to as a kid.
"Indeed. Armel most likely was, too, being that he is a biological descendant of Florent. Florent made it clear to my father that they pass naturally between Lambourne blood, though he never really explained how that happened."
okay, seven deadly sins. If they can be passed down over generations, it means there are multiple of the same species running about, no? If one bearer of a Gulattive has thirteen kids, you now have thirteen baby Gulattives in addition to daddy's one. But in the intro it seems like there is only one of each species, bc of how Florent loses his shit when he discovers one is missing? (it took me well over an hour to conceptualise that there can, indeed, be two legendaries of the same kind roaming around and the world will not end. Idk why it took me so long)
Aside from it being trendy, what are the advantages of having a blood-type in your system? I imagine it destabilizes the bearer quite a bit, and so why would anyone take these drugs only with the goal to get one?
Sacrilege gives stronger effects with each subsequent usage, so it's not unheard of for it to happen by accident as they try to chase the ultimate high.
Isn't it usually the other way round? The drugs that give a lesser high as the body adapts are the ones where people overdose (because they need to up the dosage to get the same stimulation out of it)?
Odette knew firsthand what it felt like to succumb to feelings of wrath. It happened to her daily. She couldn’t imagine people taking a drug that might induce it to conjure up some powerful demonic Pokemon.
same, Odette, same.
But this line also got me thinking. Usually, when I see anger management issues, it's a lot uglier than what odette has. They usually result in physical assault and throwing things and having the police called and threatening violence. Compared to that, Odette just gets really angry sometimes, but she's never had any of it manifest outside of her headspace. (except for that time she killed her rapist, but that is very much justified under self defense.) Like she has the tumblr aesthetic version of anger management issues.
Also, did she ever go to therapy for it? Or does she have any control strategies for it?
“Okay, that aside for now, I need you to backtrack again and explain the whole Clovis versus Valentin thing because that’s still got me kind of fucked up,” he insisted. “You said the real Clovis LeClair was dead? So how the fuck did you, Valentin Ménétries, end up with a dead man’s identity? Is it some…undercover shit? You mentioned worming your way in with them?"
It's a valid question, but while reading it, Noel's emotional outburst seemed a bit over the top? Like, I thought this entire convo had way more aggravating ideas than how Clovis adopted a second name. Identity theft is nothing too complex, there are even books and instruction guides to do so. And it's especially easy when your target is dead, and in this case, Clovis had made it very clear that the original Clovis committed suicide. Which also may be a me-thing, but why is this concept so foreign to Noel and Odette that Clovis needs three attempts to spell it out to them?
He snickered before he went on. “But, my family, the Ménétries family, doesn’t do it alone. We’ve partnered with seven of the most powerful families in Kalos to stop it. The De Guignes’s, the Giradot’s, the Subercaseux’s, the Toussaint’s, the Aliker’s, the Delsarte’s,” Odette watched as he lightly cringed over that name, “and the LeClair’s.”
I don't think I need to elaborate on how disgusting I find Clovis's entire gameplan. But ethics aside. If seven of the most powerful families in Kalos are against Team Enigma, the shiny trade etc, is there even a powerful customerbase left? Like, I imagine we are talking top 0.1% here. I'm already bamboozled of the high number of families Clovis lists there. Thought the money-nobility of Kalos would be around five names in total. And if Clovis has seven of them already on his side... who is left to buy Sacrilege?
Not gonna lie, I didn't like how disrespectful Odette talked about a dead man. Even if she was totally oblivious to the fact that he took his own life... that's not how you talk about a person you're somewhat kinda familiar with (she had done all that research, no?)
Sighing in what sounded to be defeat, Valentin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Believe me, we are stuck between a wall of knives and a loaded assault rifle in that regard. But, we collectively decided it would be better to break the news to the public after Florent had been apprehended, Enigma disbanded, and these legendaries and type more adequately researched."
I hate rich people. Clovis is not earning any brownie points with me this chapter either.
This is why nobody trusts Virtue Corps. I was lowkey persuaded that they might be the good guys until this statement. Why don't they make these findings public? Then universities can conduct actual, peer-reviewed research. Because whatever Clovis tells them now and no matter how many lab coats he wears simultaneously, these findings might as well be imaginary. They were bought by a single company. Who's to tell they didn't hire fiction writers.
His entire approach is very in line with pokemon logic, where ten-year-olds regularly dismantle criminal organisations in the span of one afternoon. But in reality, this level of smoke and mirrors is incredibly condescending to the common Kalosian. Like, Clovis makes it very clear here that him and his elite friends don't even trust the everyman with learning about the reason behind shinies. This is some shit in the Louis XVI league of delusions.
Yes, the way Enigma plays the blood-types is dangerous. But you could also phrase it "shiny color pallets in pokemon are caused by a genetic mutation, which itself makes them susceptible to a parasite and lessens their overall health." (PokeRUS, is that you?) This sounds a lot more digestible, no? And would bring shinies back to the forefront of the conversation etc.
I'm not saying they should go public with the Enigma investigation, bc that's stupid. But there's no reason to keep the research stuff hidden (except to maybe keep the shiny trade the way it is. I don't trust those seven beacons of virtue to not have their hands in it)
He scrunched his nose in contemplation as if he were still wavering to say what was on his mind. He was so fucking adorable when he was thinking. Gods, she was a mess.
“Pardon if I sound a little forceful, but I’m getting a little freaked out here. I’m trying to defend my illnesses and insisting I don’t know shit about these Pokemon, but now I’m finding out one of my team members has one, and that I’m displaying symptoms of a shiny that has one, and now you’re telling me the head of fucking Team Enigma looks like me, and I can’t—“
Nice to see the lasting consequences of Odette's little moment with Venira last chapter~ Forcing her to slow down before getting back into the investigating also gives the reader a chance to breathe too.
And so Loic the gremlin steals the phone that was missing, and we get tons of juicy info out of it. Not too surprising that Clovis was investigating things of his own, given how his last encounter with Odette went. At this point I was still stuck on just what the heck was the big deal about the figure skating slip--I figured he must be out living a double life somewhere, but how exactly would anyone find it anyway? (This will be fun to come back to later.)
Ok cool, confirmation that Enora definitely doesn't have anything to do with Venira. And this is where I realize that I've been dumb and obviously there are other blood-types besides the 7 deadly sins, and so it is possible for the thing about shinies harboring blood-types, and humans harboring the sins, to be true at the same time. Marvel at my intellect.
11
Some cute moments with Ange in this one. Tying the shower curtain in a bow around the curtain rod was adorable. He was so pleased with himself!
I do like the acknowledgement that there's good reason for Odette and Noel to just keep what they know between themselves. Often in stories like this, it's easy to wonder why the protags don't just spill everything, but I legit don't think it would really help their situation here.
That bouquet oh my god. Horrible. "Adequately convey how sorry I am." Just throw money at the problem! Ez-pz.
11.5
So, all throughout the fic, and in all the outside material like storycrafters, we're saturated with just how much Dorien is a creep, a stalker, the slimiest slimeball to ever slime. In fact, I'd wager it's one of the first things people learn about the story! It's not too surprising that he's been flat seeing as we only get to see him through Odette's eyes, and she's very deliberately (and justifiably) keeping him as far at arm's length as she can.
Which is why I think it was a very god idea to detour to his POV for a moment, to see what makes him tick.
So, envy. Yep, that tracks. Love how obvious it is that he doesn't like Inviderus's commentary, but at the same time, it's hard to find the line where Inviderus ends and he begins. There's the subtle influence as well as not-so-subtle influence. Much like with Odette and her anger. Sure, there's a 'source' for it, but can you really say that it's not her? All emotions have sources, all we are is chemicals etc etc, having an easier time pointing to the cause of it, doesn't mean it's totally separate from you, y'know? This is a bit of a tangent, but it's interesting to look at the moments that feel more like outside influence, versus the moments that the sin is seamlessly woven into their own nature.
And it's interesting to see how it's not just envy toward her, a need to own her perfection, but also anger at her for having the attention that he so desperately wants. So if he can't own that attention, the next best thing is owning her. Because it's all about owning things with him. That's why he's so sensitive about anyone else talking about his prize.
And here we go, confirmation that he does want to get under her skin to draw out Venira. That's so much more satisfying than if he were just completely oblivious to how infuriating he can be. The one thing I'm still iffy on is if he knows at all that she's faking her affections, but just doesn't care because he's fixated on owning her anyway...?
Drugs time. Man, I could see someone wanting to feel pride, or lust or sloth, there's benefits there. But envy?? That just feels like a recipe for frustration.
Something tells me that Odette isn't gonna be too heartbroken by Dorien getting a lapdance :V
That combination of pride and envy sure is dangerous when you want the spotlight and feel like you deserve it. And man, Dorien is so desperate to measure up to clovis, trying so hard not to look like the fool, and one gets the feeling that Clovis isn't trying at all, he's got nothing to prove.
> “Truly, I am so sorry.” Clovis still had yet to make any move to assist. It was becoming apparent that he most likely wasn’t going to
This cracked me up.
Alright so Dorien is definitely more perceptive than he lets on. I mean, noticing how Clovis spilling the drink on Denis was no accident.
> But on the other hand, Denis was implying something about the rape and manslaughter case.
I reread Denis's dialogue and I think I missed where he implied anything, it mostly just seemed like he was talking about their high school history together, but the incident was considerably more recent than that.
A fascinating and much-needed look into the inner workings of our favorite slimeball~
Also, I gotta say... I genuinely didn't expect Odette to win their battle. Hot damn it had me on the edge of my seat. Oh, and I also have to say that I cringed throughout the entirety of that "date." Terrible. Zero stars.
You teeaaaseeeee. I can't believe they don't meet for so long! [Says this when their fic's human-legend pairing doesn't happen until chapter thirty-freaking-six.]
