The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[Starlight Aurate]

Tabitha remained crouched under the couch for the last few days. He finally understood why his Mightyena was always able to fall asleep anywhere--the floor seemed just as comfortable as anywhere else he had slept in his life. But once all guests awoke with the dawn, he remained alert and attentive, surveying the others from the shadows.

So Mewtwo was gone--a god was gone. And if whatever strange force could take out gods, then the rest of them were fair game, as well.

His skin crawled and his blood chilled. Someone--or some ones among them--were responsible. They managed to kill one of the most powerful beings on the planet. And the rest of them were as good as gone, too. He did not fear death; it was inevitable. They all had to face it at some point. And he did not particularly care for the Pokemon here--none of them had any interest in Team Magma's goals, in expanding the land and restoring nature to its pure state before humanity destroyed it.

But if he could save his own skin and wipe out the killers behind this--if he could live to serve Maxie another day, then he would do it.

It seemed that Lycanroc could speak with the dead--or at least, they could speak with Squirt. Could they speak with all the dead or with the Squirtle alone? And that Delphix claimed that Palkia and the Mew were innocent--purely because they claimed to be. He sneered. Did people not know that killers always believed themselves innocent? And that even when they knew they committed wrongdoing, that they were always the first to deny such actions? In his eyes, no one was confirmed innocent yet.

"I suspected some of us might be afforded... interestin' advantages in our investigations. I myself have one, though not one that provides me with any insight into the killer's identity."

So the Delphox had an ability to help, but not one that would give any information. Perhaps he was some sort of protector (even if it sounded like he had failed in his protective duties as a parent).

He remained under the couch, his ears perked and his eyes shining, waiting for more information that the others might offer.

 

[Fusion]

The bar in Lee's head was exactly the sort of bar he ended up in. The relaxing scent of alcohol in the air, polished wooden floor boards and tables, a sleek, clean bar which held no 'tender, and shelves full of that glorious divine nectar that has probably caused more deaths than it anyone who frequented bars would admit. Lee, surprisingly, wasn't one of those individuals.

"Interesting," Lee chuckled, taking a seat at the bar. He waved his paw, and an inky black tendril stretched from his shadow to grab a few bottles from the shelf. He didn't care for the name or brands, he just hoped they were strong enough to do something.

"So what things could he say? If he couldn't say if he didn't know, then he would've said no even if it was one of them."

"Only yes or no, meaning I could only ask him yes or no questions," Lee answered, putting a bottle to his lips and letting his head fall back. It was true, what Squirt and that committee said about this place. He was alone, but could hear the others clearly. No one would be able to hide away and scheme, at least not in the middle of the day. "If I could have asked him anything more specific, I would have, but I didn't have the time nor the... clearest of minds, at the time."

"Speaking with the dead is one thing, but a dead child?" Lee shuddered, taking another long drink from his bottle. "Never again..."

 

[Chibi Pika]

Palkia eyed the lists that Jesse had written on the blackboard, muttering various things to itself. "Now now, wait just a moment. Lee said that neither I nor Darkwhite eliminated Squirt. Even if we suppose it's the same person doing the eliminating each night, that says nothing about accomplices weaving subtle interference behind the scenes. We'll certainly need to identify both in order to restore balance to the party, wouldn't you say?"

"Of course, we haven't even got hard evidence that Lee is telling the truth. My gut says he is, but we might not know for sure if the person who gave him his 'door' is already dead."

"Odds of that are fairly low, aren't they? After all, we all swapped gifts between each other. Unless Mewtwo gifted Lee the door, someone here ought to recognize it." The dragon's eyes were shining with a wild, manic glint. Things were starting to get interesting.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Why aren't I on the list?"

Jesse pinched the bridge of his muzzle. "Mental slip. Thought I counted twelve sorry fuckers in the room, stopped adding names after twelve. You should be on here, uncleared, which makes random vote odds even worse. Fuck."

Dead	Not Cleared by Lee	Cleared by Lee
Squirt	Jesse	Lee
Mewtwo	Nilam	Palkia
	Gen	Darkwhite
	Blue
	Tabitha
	Beldum
	Nickit
	Mia

Chance of random vote success assuming a lone murderer: 13%

Chance of random vote success assuming two murderers: 25%

accomplices

"Yeah, if there's more than one killer, or the killer has non-murderous accomplices, that'll complicate the situation further. The caveat to this summary is that it's only based on information volunteered so far. Can't do better than that."

Jesse gestured towards Palkia vaguely. "I mean, just as a piece of conjecture, suppose that yerself and Lee were murderous collaborators. You mighta taken out Mewtwo early for suspectin' yer good self, and then sold a story which clears ya. Now, that's not what my gut says, but don't think I ain't considerin' other possibilities."

 

[Fusion]

"The door I was had wasn't given..." Lee paused. Did someone give it to him? Of course, someone had to, since it certainly wasn't the gift he brought. "Actually, yeah, it must have been. But I have no idea who gave me it. It was just... there." He took another drink. It burned ever so slightly, but that burn faded sooner than Lee would have liked. "I am sorry, I don't have anything about who gave it to me."

"Yeah, if there's more than one killer, or the killer has non-murderous accomplices, that'll complicate the situation further. The caveat to this summary is that it's only based on information volunteered so far. Can't do better than that."

Before Lee realized it, he finished his first bottle already. "Then I'll have to be sure to ask something a bit more helpful towards the investigation. You lot are free to give ideas." He already had one in mind, but the less he gave the murderers, the better it would be for the innocents. At least, he hoped as much.

 

[Namohysip]

"Pfft." Darkwhite drifted her monochrome bubble around. "Yeah, what the big guy with the wide stance said." She gestured to Palkia. "Y'know, I think it's kinda funny that you think there are only two. Like, with all of us, and only two of them? I bet there are three... maybe even four!" She giggled. "That's be fun."

She twirled from within her bubble. "I never got a door and I never gave one, either. Dunno how you'd fit a door in a box anyhow."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse rubbed his temple. "Let's just say my gift ain't the sort of thing ye'd fit in a fuckin' box either."

He stepped across superimpositional space to join Lee at the bar and made a considerable dent in a bottle of brandy in short order.

"If you want a perfect fifty-fifty dividin' question, Lee, you could ask if the killer has fur. Half of the uncleared folks, includin' myself, are furred, the other half aren't. Not sure if that's wisest if there're two killers, though. I don't fuckin' know..."

 

[DawningWinds]

"Plus, I note that the Nickit has been absolutely dead silent this whole fuckin' time. The rest of y'all notice that yet? 'Cause I did. What's yer deal, critter?"

"Yep, I noticed," Nilam said. Turning towards the nicket, Nilam spoke again. "We'd really appreciate it if you said, I dunno, anything? We're, uh. Trying to solve a murder. Murders. Or kidnappings, possibly, hopefully, based on the contents of Lee's box.

"Speaking of which, I can almost guarantee I didn't bring a door. I think it's not a door. I'm not particularly familiar with the item I brought."

Chance of random vote success assuming a lone murderer: 13%
Chance of random vote success assuming two murderers: 25%

"So, a random vote is a very bad idea. Very very bad," Nilam said. Which, Nilam had already figured was the case without the odds, but now it was undoubtedly confirmed.

 

[Chibi Pika]

Jesse gestured towards Palkia vaguely. "I mean, just as a piece of conjecture, suppose that yerself and Lee were murderous collaborators. You mighta taken out Mewtwo early for suspectin' yer good self, and then sold a story which clears ya. Now, that's not what my gut says, but don't think I ain't considerin' other possibilities."

Palkia grinned. "Good, good. Can't afford to be complacent, can we?"

"Anyway, since the odds of catching the killer is ever-so-slightly higher than catching the accomplices, we'll want to aim for the former, naturally--until we gather more evidence. Personally, I feel inclined to believe the Lycanroc for now. After all, volunteering this information regarding the door and what it can and cannot do would easily come back to bite him, were it all just a fabrication." Palkia's eyes glinted. "He'd be playing a losing game in the long run if that were the case."

The dragon shrugged. "But I can't say for sure. I'm no Reshiram."

"Y'know, I think it's kinda funny that you think there are only two. Like, with all of us, and only two of them? I bet there are three... maybe even four!" She giggled. "That's be fun."

Palkia chuckled. "But of course! Given the number of guests, and keeping in mind balance--because where's the fun in a game that's tilted to one side?--I'd say we most likely have three on our naughty list. Four seems a bit extreme. One killer, two engaging in sabotage, but likely more than willing to take up the mantle of killing should their leader fall."

 

[Fusion]

"Personally, I feel inclined to believe the Lycanroc for now. After all, volunteering this information regarding the door and what it can and cannot do would easily come back to bite him, were it all just a fabrication." Palkia's eyes glinted. "He'd be playing a losing game in the long run if that were the case."

"I'll take that as some sort of compliment, Palkia," Lee nodded, forgetting he wasn't visibly in the same room as the space god. "I could have kept this hidden, but I'd rather rend this killer or killers with my own claws than allow them any chance to keep picking us off," he growled. "Feeling powerless is not something I enjoy."

"If you want a perfect fifty-fifty dividin' question, Lee, you could ask if the killer has fur. Half of the uncleared folks, includin' myself, are furred, the other half aren't. Not sure if that's wisest if there're two killers, though. I don't fuckin' know..."

"It's better than nothing, right?" Lee chuckled, calming down. "I either ask that or how many killers there are. All things go well, we can vote the killer out tomorrow."

He swished his bottle around before taking another sip. Having another being around that he could actually relate to somewhat was new to Lee, but welcomed in these... strange times. Not being one for conversation, he opened another bottle and put it to his lips. It burned something fierce.

"Considering the humans I know back in my world, you're handling this situation better than I anticipated. It's... pleasant to have a level minded Pokemon around," Lee eventually said.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

I'd say we most likely have three on our naughty list.

Jesse raised an eyebrow. "Familiar with this sorta... 'phenomenon', are ya, Palkia? I'm not, but I'll take you at yer word fer now."

Dead	Not Cleared by Lee	Cleared by Lee
Squirt	Jesse	Lee
Mewtwo	Nilam	Palkia
	Gen	Darkwhite
	Blue
	Tabitha
	Beldum
	Nickit
	Mia

Chance of random vote success assuming three scum: 37.5%

"Lookin' better all the time," said Jesse, unsmiling, his voice dry as a desert.

"Considering the humans I know back in my world, you're handling this situation better than I anticipated. It's... pleasant to have a level minded Pokemon around,"

"I appreciate the compliment," said Jesse with a strained chuckle. "I got shoved into this fuckin' body, or one very like it, when I was fifteen years old. It's been twenty-five goddamn years since then, and I've spent most of them savin' the fuckin' world from bullshit almost as bizarre as what we're dealin' with now. Ain't much that fazes me too hard no more."

 

[Namohysip]

"For the record, I have fur," Darkwhite said, and then leaned very close to Jesse. "See? You gotta look really close, but I've gots the fur. Wanna feel? It's smoooooooth."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"You invitin' me, Ma'am?" said Jesse, raising one eyebrow as far as it could go and leaning in right back.

 

[IFBench]

Twenty-five years?! Will...will it be that long before I can go home?

Gen shivered.

 

[Fusion]

"I appreciate the compliment," said Jesse with a strained chuckle. "I got shoved into this fuckin' body, or one very like it, when I was fifteen years old. It's been twenty-five goddamn years since then, and I've spent most of them savin' the fuckin' world from bullshit almost as bizarre as what we're dealin' with now. Ain't much that fazes me too hard no more."

"I'm actually..."Lee shook his head, taking another long drink. Things started to get all fuzzy, but that fuzziness was quickly fading away. "Quite familiar with that sort of story. I'm dealing with someone much like you back home, and, ages ago, I knew someone that basically has your same story. Down to a fucking T."

"For the record, I have fur," Darkwhite said, and then leaned very close to Jesse. "See? You gotta look really close, but I've gots the fur. Wanna feel? It's smoooooooth."

"You already drunk or something, Darkwhite?" Lee raised a brow, then raised his bottle to his lips again. "The hell are you getting so close to him for?"

 

[Chibi Pika]

Chance of random vote success assuming three scum: 37.5%

Palkia cackled. "Not even close! After all, the odds would be different for killer versus accomplice, no? 1/8 for killer, 1/10 for each accomplice. I'd offer some percentages of my own, but math has never been my strong suit~"

"Now obviously I know that I'm not on the naughty list, so I can raise that to 1/9 for that second category, for my own figuring. But for your calculations, Darkwhite and I are only cleared for the former category."

 

[Fusion]

"Now obviously I know that I'm not on the naughty list, so I can raise that to 1/9 for that second category, for my own figuring. But for your calculations, Darkwhite and I are only cleared for the former category."

"I can't tell if you being willing to admit you might still be a culprit is a comfort or not," Lee chuckled. "Regardless, I trust you aren't one. Despite my view of your counter-part in my own world."

"I'd offer a drink, but last time I checked the only alcohol strong enough to get a god tipsy was some two-hundred proof brand that cost a fortune, and I doubt this resort would have stocked up on it. Could drink some... whatever the hell this is instead?" Lee referred to the bottle he had in hand, but didn't bother reading the name. Instead, he finished whatever was left of it and started another bottle.

 

[Namohysip]

"You already drunk or something, Darkwhite?" Lee raised a brow, then raised his bottle to his lips again.

"Nah I'm just naturally dumb."

 

[Fusion]

"Nah I'm just naturally dumb."

"You're the only idiot I know willing to admit that," Lee laughed.

 

[Dragonfree]

Mia watched them squabble back and forth. Why was everyone so stupid? She had already pointed out the problem twice. "Why do you all think that Squirt knew who killed him? If he didn't know, then if he could only say yes or no he would have said no, but it doesn't mean it wasn't them. In this game people don't learn who killed them when they die."