introduction
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
The kalosian journeys!
Last edited:
Pokémon The Kalosian Journeys (A pokemon journeys epiosde 108 and forward rewrite!)
- Thread starter kingvoid
- Start date
Chapter 1
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Introduction
hi i am a pre-teen who likes pokemon here is my shonen take on pokemon journeysthe main core stuff of the story :
1.Ash is not ten he is eighteen here
2.There is one year for every gen like in kanto he was 10 and in kalos he was 16 showing his growth in alola he was 17 and now he is 18
3.We will meet a king from XYZ
4.Villains will be there but not like your usual giovanni
5.Moves that don't exist will be here
6.Power scaling here is known as bond hertz or pokespirit
7.Domain expansion
8.Ash is more mature here and can take hints of intimacy
Characters
1.Ash
2.Serena
3.Clemont
4.Goh
5.Bonnie
6.Prof cerise (idc about yall saying "the spelling is wrong" i will spell it this way)
I will uploading this very soon
Post your feedback
Character descriptions!
Ash : Ash is now 18 its been 2 ye- 2 YEARS! since he went on his journey through kalos he is brave intimate and mature and his battle IQ is stated to be about 200 and his IQ is 130.
Goh : Goh is Ash's companion here he is also 18 and he likes data but not that much of course!
Serena : Serena is ash's companion but more special then Goh , you'll see why later ,she is 18 too , she loves macrons and performing.
Clemont : Clemont is the smartest one in the group his IQ is a staggering 170 even if his machines blow 99.99% of the time his Battle IQ is 110. he is also 18.
Bonnie : Bonnie is Clemont's sister and is the only one in the group who is 9 her IQ is 110 and her Battle IQ is about 70.
Cerise : Is addicted to data and wants to archive Ash's phenomenal power he is stated to be 37 years old. His IQ is about 150 and his battle IQ is 90. and he doesn't have any family now due to a failed experiment that killed them.
Rating is [M] very graphic violence but no nsfw but we have kisses and making out if that's cool (also i plan to time skip a baby being born if that's cool) Deaths and about like mild swearing i think you might spot that like max 3 times in a row if that even happens
Chapter 1: Obsidian Beginnings
The air in the Cerise Laboratory usually smelled of ozone and sterile data, but today, it felt heavy like the atmosphere before a catastrophic storm.Ash Ketchum, eighteen and standing a head taller than he did a year ago, wasn't looking at a monitor. He was staring at Goh’s Frogadier. The blue Pokémon was practicing its Aerial Ace, but to Ash’s eyes, the movements were... slow. Simplified.
"The form is good, Goh," Ash said, his voice deeper, carrying the weight of the Alolan throne. "But it’s hollow. There’s no Pokespirit behind the strike."
Goh looked up from his Rotom Phone, his eyes bloodshot from a fourteen-hour "Data Grind." "What are you talking about, Ash? The math is perfect. His velocity is top-tier for his level."
Ash didn't blink. He felt a phantom itch in his chest—a literal tugging on his soul that stretched across the ocean, all the way to the Kalosian woods. The Bond Phenomenon wasn't just a move anymore; it was a heartbeat he shared with a King.
"He's hitting the target," Ash whispered, his eyes beginning to shimmer with a faint, obsidian blue light. "But he’s not deleting it."
Across the room, Professor Cerise froze. On his massive wall-sized monitor, a needle labeled [pokespirit] suddenly spiked from a calm 40 bHz to a screaming 850. The cooling fans in the supercomputer began to wail in agony.
"Ash?" Cerise's voice trembled, his 'Data Addiction' kicking in as he scrambled to record the anomaly. "What are you doing? Your molecular density is... it's shifting! GIVE IT TO ME! Give me the readout on that pulse!"
Ash ignored the Professor. He turned toward the window, looking toward the horizon where the Kalos region lay.
"Goh, pack your bags. " Ash shadow-boxed a single, lightning-fast jab into the empty air. The friction caused a miniature sonic boom that shattered a nearby beaker. "We’re going back to the roots. It’s time I showed you what a 100% Sync actually looks like."
In the shadows of the lab, Cerise’s eyes widened. He didn't see a student anymore. He saw a glitch in the universe that he needed to archive.
The Kalosian Journey had officially begun.
Ash and Goh got on a plane to Lumiose airport
Ash and Goh finally reach lumiose airport where they are greeted by Clemont and Bonnie
The air felt fresh and alive Ash relived his first time landing in Kalos with Alexa
Ash "Hey Bonnie how have you been?"
Bonnie: "Ash! Clemont says i'll get my first pokemon today!"
Ash: "Woah Bonnie really which one?"
Bonnie: "Ash you know which one its obviously dedenne"
Ash "Oh yea where is it anyways?"
Bonnie "Hmph its sleeping."
Clemont "Bonnie come on let's go"
Ash and the gang go to the Lumiose woods , where Greninja spends his time defending Kalos from team Flare's corrupted vines
The air was dusty and corrupted Ash was very excited to see Greninja again!
Ash suddenly feels a familiar feeling like the Kalos league again
Cerise was just screaming "Ash, this isn't possible your bond hertz is rising above the normal level! GIVE IT TO ME"
Ash ignores Cerise's weird behavior and whispers to Goh "Please act like your range is cutting out he is annoying me"
Goh cuts Cerise video call acting like his range was cutting out
Ash feels the feeling getting stronger he can feel Greninja
Out of nowhere a big vine radiating a energy that other Corrupted vines radiated but this one was one of the biggest he sensed in the forest
This was the Mother Vine this vine is the root of all Corrupted Vines if Ash defeated it the terror the vines caused would end
Goh "Ash i got this Cinderace will beat it to a pulp."
Ash "Goh you already don't need to i can defeat it no prob!"
Goh "*laughing* how are going to defeat that with a pikachu *laughing harder*"
Ash "Oh i won't be using pikachu ... Greninja lets go"
Suddenly Greninja appears from the trees ready to fight
Greninja "Nin-ja!"
Goh "*Laughing even harder* you're gonna beat a grass type with a water type *still laughing*"
Clemont "Don't underestimate Ash even if he has the type disadvantage he can still turn the tides"
Ash "Come on Greninja use Ice Beam!"
Greninja uses a ice beam dealing a little damage not that much but enough to show he has a weakness
Goh brings out Cinderace
Goh "Cinderace use Pyro-Ball!"
A super effective move but the Mother Vine absorbs the kinetic energy from it Goh is shocked and suprised it did nothing!
Ash uses his insane battle IQ to invent a new move
Ash immediately bonds with Greninja and ready to fight
Ash "Greninja use Ice Impact!"
Greninja "Nin-Ja
Goh "Ash that's not even a move!?!?!"
Even if it wasn't a move Ash's sheer B hrtz (bond hertz) was so powerful that he signaled telepathically that "condense a ball of water into your hand and just as you hit the Vine Freeze it into Ice"
Now The Mother Vine was frozen solid with sheer power of Ice Impact
Clemont "Ash you really used your bond with Greninja to improvise a new move! that's Genius!"
Now the finishing blow was required to finish it off!
Ash "Greninja! , use Aerial Ace!"
This shatters the ice and ends The Mother Vine's Corruption
The air was eerie and dark now shifted to a happy and pleasant atmosphere.
Serena was just practicing for her next performance in the Lumiose woods and heard the clash
Serena "Pangoro Follow me!"
Serena rushes to the area where she heard the Impact
She knew greninja was here and knew that she would hear some clashes but she didn't expect one this powerful!
She reached and saw a crater with smoke coming out the dust clears out and she sees ash
Ash "Serena! Long time no see!"
Serena "I always missed you Ash so great to see you again and greninja such a big clash didn't except that"
Ash "Missed you too!:
Greninja "Ninja!"
They head to a hotel to rest.
Ash said to Serena "Hey Serena, Wanna go to a macron cafe tonight?" Serena replied "Yes!" Bonnie giggles and whispers to Clemont "Look Ash is inviting Serena to go on Date!" Clemont says to Bonnie "Hey Bonnie knock it off"
Transition to night
Lumiose City at night was a sea of neon, but the Macaron shop was a quiet sanctuary of warm light and the smell of toasted sugar. Ash, Serena, Clemont, and Goh sat at a circular booth.
Goh was staring intensely at his Rotom Phone. "Ash, I’m still trying to process that 'Ice Impact.' My sensors recorded a localized temperature drop of absolute zero for exactly 0.01 seconds. That shouldn't be physically possible for a Greninja......"
Ash leaned back, looking much more relaxed than he did in the woods. "The data doesn't matter, Goh. It’s about the Pokespirit. When you stop looking at the data, you start seeing the soul."
Serena laughed, placing a tray of colorful macarons on the table. "You’ve definitely grown up, Ash. You sound like a philosopher now instead of just a kid who wants to battle."
"Two years and a throne in Alola will do that to you," Ash said, his voice dropping an octave. He looked directly at Serena, not missing the way she blushed.
Bonnie giggled from the next table over. "Clemont, look! Ash is actually looking at her! He’s not even eating his macaron yet!"
Clemont adjusted his glasses, looking nervous. "Bonnie, shush! Let them have their moment."
As they ate, the conversation flowed easily, but Ash could feel the romantic energy between him and Serena humming it wasn't like b-hrtz it was love at first sight serena resonated golden
"Serena," Ash said suddenly, standing up. "Let's walk. Just us."
Goh looked up, confused. "But we haven't finished the Data Sync on the..."
Clemont grabbed Goh’s collar and pulled him back down. "The data can wait, Goh. Trust me."
Ash and Serena walked out onto the balcony of the shop, overlooking the Prism Tower. The wind caught Serena's hair, and for a moment, the 'King of Alola' felt like just a boy again but a boy who finally knew what he wanted.
"Ash?" Serena whispered. "You’ve changed so much. You're... stronger. But you feel different."
"I spent a long time chasing the horizon, Serena," Ash said, stepping closer. "I realized that being a Master isn't just about winning. It's about who you want to share the world with when the battle is over."
He didn't wait for her to drop a hint. He didn't wait for a sign.
Ash reached out, gently cupping her face, and pulled her into a firm, meaningful kiss.
The air around them didn't explode with ice or shadow. Instead, the Prism Tower behind them flickered with a soft, celebratory gold. For the first time in years, the "Obsidian" light in Ash's eyes softened into something human.
Serena pulled back, breathless, a radiant smile on her face. "Took you long enough, Ash Ketchum."
Ash smirked, the 'King's' confidence returning. "I had a lot of training to do. But I think I finally got the timing right."
RIP DENSE ASH
The End of Chapter 1
Last edited:
Tango
Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Hello again! With you being new and having such wonderfully short chapters, I decided to pop in for some reviews of your fic! I hope you enjoy!
I hid most of my comments behind a spoiler tag so it doesn't take up too much space in your fic. Just click it to expand!
But I'm not done. Let's take a look at your chapters!
And by the way, I'm impressed how little spelling and grammar errors I'm seeing here and you seem to have a knack for some cool descriptions!
Quite a bit of mood and intrigue you set up here!
I've got a fic at the bottom of my post here with a link too if your are curious.
Have a great day! 😉
Oh, I thought you said you are a pre-teen in your intro post? But no worries!
I hid most of my comments behind a spoiler tag so it doesn't take up too much space in your fic. Just click it to expand!
Ash being forever a kid is something that always bugged me. Good choice.
Simple and works well. Nice!
Seems like a little spoiler but it can also build anticipation, so it still works!
Hmm! Sounds neat!
Sounds cool.
Sometimes it's nice just having the rules of a fic laid out. Makes it easy to understand!
Could this be an inspiration from a certain popular anime??
Yes PLEASE!! I always hated how the anime never allowed Ash to be in any kind of relationship. They really dropped the ball on that.
Nice cast of characters here! Sounds promising.
Always good to see a fellow author excited to post stuff!
Smart of you to include this line. It helped me confirm that feedback was something you wanted!
But I'm not done. Let's take a look at your chapters!
Oh wow. Now that's a cool name for a chapter! Cool points awarded here for you.
Ooo! What a tense way to start!
And by the way, I'm impressed how little spelling and grammar errors I'm seeing here and you seem to have a knack for some cool descriptions!
Neat way of communicating Ash's experience in the way that he observes!
Seems like you are setting up some interesting plot threads!
Ooo that sounds significant!
I'm really curious if this is your first fic. Your prose is unexpectedly nice!
Quite a bit of mood and intrigue you set up here!
Ok ok!! Yeah! Nice way to start a fic!
The small chapters make it so easy for people to pop in to give you reviews. Any ideas on how long you plan to make your fic?
I've got a fic at the bottom of my post here with a link too if your are curious.
Have a great day! 😉
Chapter 2
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 2: Dark Origins
The ruins of Lysandre’s Café didn't just look dead; they looked cursed. Where the air used to smell of expensive coffee and ambition, it now carried a static charge that made the hair on your arms stand up. Deep in the basement, two figures moved in the flickering light of a chemical torch.Jerry and Adrie, the last remnants of Team Flare, weren't looking for world peace anymore. They were looking for revenge.
"Is the circle ready?" Adrie whispered, her hands shaking as she traced a ring of crushed white chalk across the cracked floor.
"Ready," Jerry grunted. He stepped into the center, holding a jagged, obsidian-black shard—a piece of debris from the Rocky Zygarde that had nearly leveled the region. He dropped the shard into a small basin of blue fire.
The chalk didn't just sit there; it began to glow with a sickly violet light. The flames in the basin turned a cold, translucent white. Suddenly, the chalk disintegrated into dust, and the shadows in the room stretched upward, thickening until they formed the silhouette of a giant.
A man, easily nine feet tall with tattered clothes and hair like unraveled rope, stepped out of the void. His eyes weren't human; they looked like two pits of ancient, tired fire.
"Oh... finally," the man rasped, his voice sounding like grinding stones. "I am back."
Jerry staggered back, his face turning pale. "W-w-w-who are y-y-you? We wanted Lysandre!"
The giant didn't even look at them. He reached into the air, and a Houndoom materialized from the shadows, its fur matted with ash. "You wanted a King," the man said mysteriously. "But you won't live to know his name."
With a flick of his wrist, the Houndoom unleashed a wave of dark energy that knocked Jerry and Adrie unconscious before they could even scream. The giant looked toward the ceiling, his gaze piercing through the ground. "The world shall know the name of AZ once more."
Lumiose City - Minutes Later
Serena was still blushing from the way Ash had looked at her earlier, her heart doing backflips. But the "Golden Resonance" between them suddenly turned cold.
Ash froze, his eyes snapping to the south. "Serena... do you feel that?"
"Feel what, Ash?" she asked, confused.
"The air just died," Ash said calmly, though his voice had that new, deep edge to it. "I just felt two people getting erased from the map. Their signatures just... vanished."
He didn't wait for an explanation. "Goh! Clemont! Bonnie! Let’s move! Now!"
The gang rushed to the ruins of the café. They found Jerry and Adrie lying on the floor, their breathing shallow. Serena checked their pulses, her hands steady despite the fear. "They're alive! But their Pokespirit is completely drained. It’s like something sucked the life right out of them."
"Rush them to the Pokémon Center," Ash commanded. As they ran, a massive, hooded figure blurred past them in the distance, heading toward Geosenge Town at a speed that shouldn't have been possible for a human. "We'll check that out later. Right now, we save these two."
Geosenge Town - The Showdown
They reached the site of the Ultimate Weapon an hour later. The air in Geosenge felt heavier than lead. Ash could feel the Pokémon in the nearby woods crying out the psychic residue of the ancient Kalos war was being stirred up again.
Clemont pulled out a device humming with blue light. "No worries, Ash! I’ve upgraded the Bond-Hertz measurer. We can measure his power with the power of science! Just... try not to let it explode this time."
"Ash," Goh whispered, pointing toward the crater. "The bHz meter... it’s growing. And it’s not yours."
A man stood on the edge of the crater, looking down at the buried weapon. AZ. He turned his head slowly, his eyes locking onto Ash. "Ah... great. Some kids interfering with my plans."
He didn't waste time. AZ raised a hand, his Houndoom stepping forward. "Poké-Domain Open: Ancient Ruin!"
The world around them shifted. The bright sun of Geosenge was replaced by a dusty, gray wasteland. Stone pillars rose from the earth, and the sky turned the color of dried blood.
"Hey! Who are you?" Ash yelled, stepping in front of Serena.
"Your bHz is powerful, boy," AZ said, his voice echoing through the domain. "But it is not enough to stop your demise."
Ash didn't flinch. "So you're the new villain. Fine. I've dealt with gods; a King won't be much different."
"He feels stronger than Team Rocket," Goh muttered, his hand hovering over a Pokéball. "The pressure in here is insane."
Ash pulled a Pokéball from his belt. "Go, Greninja! With our bond and power... TRANSFORM!"
The water-veil erupted, and Greninja emerged in his Battle-Bond form but it was different. Sharper. Faster. The obsidian-blue light from Ash’s eyes was mirrored in Greninja’s.
"Goh, watch this," Ash said. He closed his eyes, his mind merging with Greninja's. 'Greninja... same principle as Ice Impact. But don't freeze the water. Expand the pressure. Make it a hammer.'
Ash yelled, "Greninja! Use Water Impact!"
Greninja slammed a palm into the ground. A shockwave of pressurized water ripped through the gray dust of the domain, shattering AZ’s stone pillars and creating a massive cloud of steam.
"Ash! How did you make another move on the fly?" Goh shouted, shielded by the blast.
"Our bond is stronger than ever!" Ash replied with a grin. "While he's blinded by the mist... Guys, let’s go! We aren't ready for a full-scale Domain war yet!"
Pokémon Center - Later
Goh was pacing the floor, his head in his hands. "Ash, can you explain to me how the f#ck you just made a new move? And how the f#ck you're telepathically talking to your Pokémon?!"
Ash took a sip of water, looking completely relaxed. "Isn't it simple, Goh? Our Bond-Hertz is off the charts. When you’re that in sync, words are just slow data. You just think it, and they do it."
"I don't know how you trained that," Goh muttered, looking at his own Rotom Phone. "The math doesn't even add up."
Serena giggled, leaning against the wall. "It’s really simple, Goh. I don't know how you can't understand it. Many people can see the bond, but they can't implement it."
Ash looked at her and smirked. "Ata girl."
Clemont looked at his readings, his face grave. "Ash, AZ is still out there. We should head to Pallet Town. We need a safe zone to regroup before he tries to bring our 'demise' again."
Ash nodded. "Alright. Let me get to the PC. I’m bringing in the heavy hitter. Charizard, get ready... we're going home."
TO BE CONTINUED
Last edited:
Power scaling
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
The Kalosian Journeys: Power Scale & Mechanics
The bHz (Bond Hertz) Scale:
The bHz (Bond Hertz) Scale:
- 0 - 50 bHz (Civilian/Rookie): Standard connection. Most trainers stay here.
- 50 - 200 bHz (Ace Trainer): Pokemon starts to predict the trainer's thoughts. Gym Leader territory.
- 200 - 500 bHz (Elite Level): The "Resonance" starts. Physical air pressure begins to change.
- 500 - 800 bHz (Champion/King): "Obsidian Blue" territory. The trainer and Pokemon share a single soul. Can create new moves like Water Impact.
- 1000+ bHz (The Glitch): Breaking the laws of physics. Molecular density shifts. Only Ash (Alolan Throne) and Ancient threats like AZ have been seen touching this.
- Bond Phenomenon: A 100% Sync that physically transforms the Pokemon.
- Telepathic Combat: Ash's ability to "program" moves mid-fight via bHz pulses.
- Pokedomain (Domain Expansion):A high-level technique where a trainer uses their Pokespirit to overwrite reality.
- Example: AZ’s "Ancient Ruin" traps the opponent in a space where his Houndoom's power is absolute.
Last edited:
Chapter 3
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 3: Back to Kanto!
Ash takes Charizard's pokemon and sends him out and says "Charizard we have to fly to kanto"Charizard "Char Char"
Ash "Guys sit on Charizard's back."
Bonnie "Wooho flying!"
After soaring in the skies to kanto they reach pallet town and crash at Ash's mom's house
Ash "phew... we escaped that guy"
Delia "Sleep tight kids , have fun on your adventures!"
Delia talks in private with ash
Delia said "That lip you kissed that girl huh"
Ash replied while blushing "I did"
Delia to Ash in private "You like her huh?"
Ash to Delia while still blushing "Yea Mom i really do!"
Delia Thinks "Finally my son isn't dense"
RIP DENSE ASH 💀
They all go to sleep.
The morning sun in Pallet Town didn't just rise it ignited the dew-covered fields of the Oak Laboratory. Ash stood at the fence, the wind tugging at his jacket, looking less like a traveling trainer and more like a young general reviewing his troops.
Oak "Oh Ash so great to see you oh and who's that pokemon"
Ash "Prof meet greninja"
Oak "And when did you meet him?"
Ash "2 years ago remember the froakie i told you about?" Oak "Yeah" Ash "This is him right here" Oak "Fascinating indeed"
Greninja "Nin-ja (means: Ash can i meet up my buddies? dap them up a bit?) Ash "Sure why not its been 2 years"
Greninja daps the whole Kalos team up finally meeting after 2 years Ash yelled , excited "Alright guys lets start some training"
The air now smelled fresh and powerful everyone training to become stronger
Greninja is training with the whole squad with Charizard trying increase his b-hrtz from 150 to 500 trying to reach greninja's level of bonding with ash Ash "Charizard you're becoming weaker you need some training to increase your b-hrtz"
Greninja is guiding Charizard telling "feel Ash's power connect feel the care and love he feels for you connect with him as you are one become the flame not Charizard and ash"
Charizard does that and finally transforms into his bond state intially it looks a mega charizard x just a copy of a mega evolution his bhz now 400
Greninja "Become unique not a copy of a Gimmick" "You are Ash and Ash is you" "Push yourself to greater limits"
Charizard powers up even more Prof oak analyzing him with monitors there
Charizard surrounded by lab equipment now shows his skin a black matte and crystalization of flames while keeping a blue flame on his tail he had now become crystalized red rivaling obsidian blue. In the basement of Cerise labs Prof cerise spots a mega charizard x jump to bond phenomenon Cerise knew this was one of ash's pokemon and his data addiction kicked he called ash and said "GIVE IT TO ME THAT CHARIZARD GIVE IT TO ME" Ash immediately cuts the phone and knows something is up with professor to be acting so weird and the air gets heavier.
Ash's pokemon inspired by Greninja's motivation transform just as ash puts them in their pokeballs he opens all of them to find 4 special heros emerged Donphan Sceptile Heracross and Of course Pikachu all with new forms ready to rumble
Donphan emerges with a Matte Black Obsidian shell, immediately curling into his wrecking ball form and vibrating the lab's foundation.
Sceptile appears as a phantom of the night with leaf blades now a green obsidian shows off by using his leaf blade to wreck a tree
Pikachu’s yellow fur turns a Deep Matte Yellow, but his iconic red cheeks now glow with a Glowing Red electrical discharge. Instead of soft fur, his back and tail have developed a Steel plating that looks like samurai armour.
Pikachu doesn't use Thunderbolt. He stands on two legs, his paws coated in metallic blue energy. He punches the air, and the Steel and Electric type friction creates a vacuum that sucks the oxygen out of the room.
Heracross’s blue shell has shattered and reformed into a Transparent Shining Crystal You can see his "Pokespirit" pulsing inside his chest like a heartbeat. His massive horn is now a Diamond Blade that refracts light into a thousand deadly rainbows and as sharp as or even sharper than the sharpness ability of pokemon.
He spreads his wings made of obsidian as he beats them a fairy energy radiates creates a slice with his horn creating a sonic boom.
Oak has seen a lot of Legendaries, but seeing a whole team reach "Legendary" status simultaneously is terrifying for him. He's likely realizing that Ash is the only thing standing between the world and AZ.
Now Ash and Greninja know the fundementals to a pokedomain they tried to open one BANG!
a barrier with only Ash and the gang and the evolved pokemon appeared Ash could make his domain how ever he wanted.
Ash said Coldly "Its time Cerise knows a end to his addiction permanently"
Meanwhile in Cerise's basement
Cerise "YES ASH YOU DID IT YOUR POWER IS READY TO BE ARCHIVED *Villainous laugh*" he immediately calls ash "ASHY BOY YOU ARE READY TO - " Ash cuts the call and realises "Professor Cerise is way too insane to save him"
He immediately told the gang except Bonnie"Guys this is a problem , we might have to cerise permanently to sleep......."
Now they head out and leave for vermillion as Ash guides them to Cerise's lab
The air is dark and cold. As they walk Serena says "Ash i think you're right professor cerise is out of control he even dared to call you 'ASHY BOY' he isn't the cerise you know he is too polite not a archiver..." Goh "SERENA! Are you out of you're mind? professor cerise would never" said out in a fit of rage
Serena "Goh i literally heard him say that, you can't prove that isn't he is mentally insane *Serena said angrily*.I'm not out of my mind you're too emotionally attached to him... let it go "Serena Said coldly. As the air responds to the bhz around the gang
Clemont says coldly as well "Goh she's right Cerise has gone mad over data you can't prove otherwise... don't fight the truth Goh you're only making it worse... i delibrately didn't bring Bonnie ,shes too light hearted for this, she isn't ready for this yet."
Goh thinks "Damn i can't believe professor Cerise of all people really has gone mad..."
Ash says coldly "Guys stand back i'll go handle this"
Ash t-poses and says "POKEDOMAIN OPEN NINJA'S ULTIMATE VOID!!".
Ash moves into the lab. The air is cold and dark the smell was sterile data was worse than ever even Ash couldn't stand it anymore , he thinks "its about time he falls" Professor Cerise announces crazily on the speakers "ASHY BOY! YOU FINALLY CAME READY FOR EXTRAC-"Ash immediately orders pikachu to absorb all the power in the house and Prof. Cerise drops in his artificial pokemon Glitchie drops down in front of ash and whispers to him self "OH BOY HE IS READY FOR EXTRACTION!. Prof Cerise "Pokedomain open :Infinite Archives". immediately a domain clash happens ash overpowers Cerise engulfing the lab in a obsidian void now glitchie was only at 5% Ash didn't show mercy he knew Prof Cerise did it to trap him he orders pikachu coldly "Absorb its power too"
All of a sudden Goh bursts in and says coldy as well "Ash i realized Cerise isn't worth trying to save i'll handle him"
he sends out Cinderace and moves into the basement where Cerise stands cowering in fear infront of Goh Professor Cerise said in fear "G-G-Goh d-d-d-dont do this to your mentor" Goh says coldly "Professor you're too insane i won't let you roam free... Cinderace Charge a pyro-ball and send to towards pipsqueak Cerise I'll watch as in a proud professor addicted to data likes a pyro-ball" Cinderace says sadly "Ace..."
Ending the terror of "Archiver Cerise" Goh sheds a tear as his mentor meets his demise
The gang now talk about Cerise untill they get back to pallet town
Bonnie was still asleep Clemont told her "Bonnie this mission's to dangerous for you go to sleep i'll wake you up when we come back"
Ash cries to his mom "I had to make him sleep for eternity..." Delia feels Ash's guilt and knew he did what he what to she says "Sweetie we make choices they can be bad or good Cerise wasn't human he was too insane to handle i respect your decision son... don't carry the guilt" in ash's eyes he sees Delia as not just a mother but the ultimate mentor to him those words were enough for him to stop crying Clemont wakes Bonnie up we're back home Bonnie. Bonnie said excitely "So what happened to Cerise?" Clemont "Well Bonnie Ash knocked Cerise out and the
poke-police put him in the most defended jail ever he could never escape" Everyone nods Bonnie was to innocent to traumatize at such a young age. Clemont hides the truth of Goh's and Ash's Act he cared for his sister everyone agrees that AZ is next on the list
Ash and the gang decide to go back to lumiose to attack AZ
They hop on Charizard's back and fly majestically to Lumiose.
TO BE CONTIUNED
The end of the chapter 3
Last edited:
Chapter 4
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 4 : Anomaly 246
The atmosphere was dark the gang were sleeping in 2 hotel roomsWhile Clemont , Bonnie and Goh were in the first room. Bonnie was sleeping Goh was thinking about what he did to Cerise, haunted not able to sleep While Clemont thinks about how he lied to Bonnie he knew he protected her but at the cost of his honesty
in the upstairs room Serena and Ash couldn't sleep they decided to go to the terrace to feel the atmosphere was changing. the obsidian squad was standing guard making sure AZ couldn't be found Ash says to Serena "10 years of pining me did pay off eh Serena?"
Serena says "Well it really did" as she leans into a kiss on the cheek. Ash says "You'll never change and i like that" The air now feels light and tense as ash said that Serena blushed when she heard that Ash continues "A decade that paid off for you and you never left trying to chase me it felt like nothing to me in our journey through kalos until the airport i still remember that to this day" Serena replies "That was just your reward , i was shocked all the way you didn't fall for me. I had to give a shock y'know?" Now Ash and Serena make out the air wasn't just tense it was heavy it was... romantic...While the downstairs room the air felt dark and toxic. the sounds the made hummed and felt shocking to Serena. Ash pulls back from Serena's face realizing Serena wasn't just a girlfriend she was a stabilizer to Ash's Obsidian resonance and dives right back in Serena thought "Finally after 3 kisses" Then go back to the room sleeping peacefully
RIP DENSE ASH
While Ash and Serena were doing their romance AZ was working on the ultimate weapon ready to wipe the world.AZ said maniacally "YES YES FINALLY ITS STABLE! [insert laughing here] THOSE KIDS WON'T KNOW WHAT'S FOR THEM [insert heavier laughing]"
its morning [Insert chicken cockadoodledooo]
well AZ looks like he is hyped on the weapon there he doesn't know ash reformed his team.Back to Lumiose Goh observes Ash's eyes and sees a golden spark (this basically symbolizes Serena stabilized Ash)Goh thinks "Ash really got some good sleep while i'm still being haunted curse you professor Cerise " The obsidian guardians see AZ's weapon fired!?!?!?!??!Ash feels a sudden rise of bhz in Geosenge the town members flee on hearing the sirensAsh says to everyone "EVERYONE GET READY QUICK AZ IS NOT PLAYING GAMES". Ash and the gang get ready and fly over to Geosenge to see panic among civillains. Ash commands "CHARIZARD LAND , CLEMONT SERENA HELP THE CITIZENS GOH YOU'RE WITH ME LET'S MOVE"Ash isn't playing games as well Serena and Clemont guide the citizens to the closest place of safety this wasn't just the normal corruption incident. AZ has returned but way more powerful as they charge in into the ultimate weapon's room Ash sees AZ laughing and talking while looking at the surveillance "Hah just look at them running panicking oh its so funny [Insert maniac laughing here]"Ash yells "AZ I WON'T LET YOU TERRORIZE THESE INNOCENT CITIZENS!"Goh standing just by the side of just looking traumatized still feeling guilty because of Cerise just stands there AZ says happily "Oh just look at your little sidekick traumatized from the blast [More laughing]"Goh says coldy "It isn't because of the blast AZ it's something way darker"Just by saying this Goh's bhz rises Ash says coldly "Goh this time i'll do it with you" Ash's obsidian heart cracks due to years of light-hearted journeys it finally gets some show time due to the terror of AZ.He shows a sinister smile something Goh has never seen Goh says "Ash what happened to you?"Ash replies laughing sinisterly "Goh i've went on light-hearted journeys for 8 years the terror of AZ has cracked a shell that that's darker than Cerise sleeping. AZ you're not facing a light hearted guy you're facing a true monster , you aren't just sleeping today". Ash continues "[Insert sinister laughing here] AZ!, prepare to meet your demise "
AZ says manically "Ah shi# here we go again" he continues "Let's dance kids. Go Houndoom!"
Houndoom comes out and AZ and Ash pull both in sync "Pokedomain open:" "Ancient Ruin!" "Crystal Void!" As Ash sends out battle bonded heracross the air got heavier just like before in Ancient Ruin but Ash's Crystal void allowed him to push forward this wasn't just a domain clash Crystal void's crystals weren't just staying still they were piercing Ancient Ruin's dust and AZ's pokemon
eventually AZ overpowers Ash but Ash quickly disables his domain this severely weakens AZ's bhz
(Authors note :- Ash rocked AZ shocked)
Ash telepathically says to heracross and goh "Heracross use moon blast when i say use sun blast but this time use the power of the sun Let's see how AZ likes the heat of a Sun on Houndoom" Ash also telepathically said to Goh now Goh wasn't just saying what the #### he now understood and will be implementing Goh thinks "Damn Ash really does those moves like that looks like i got a trick up my sleeve"
Goh yells "Go Cinderace" through ash's greninja's word he remembered i don't need a fancy gimmick mine and my pokemon's bond is enough
he ignited a spark in Cinderace releases the guilt in Cinderace and know releases it with dark flames that look like smoke emitting from his body
now Serena and Clemont Appear behind they see Goh's Cinderace ready for battle with a new look they only see sneakily
Ash yells "Let's go Heracross use Sun-Blast!" Heracross charges a moon blast but with the power of the sun almost knocking Houndoom out
Finally Goh telepathically to Cinderace "Cinderace don't carry the guilt form it into a weapon when i say use dark pyro ball power all your guilt into a normal pyro-ball" Goh yells "Let's go Cinderace finish him off with a Dark pyro-ball!" As Cinderace powers his guilt into a pyro-ball it turns dark as he fires it is a dark fire type move but eliminates Houndoom.AZ sends out eternal flower floette Ash says "AZ you're not getting away with this" As he switches into Charizard he yells "Charizard with your and my bond TRANSFORM!" and then charizard transforms
he is ready to beat eternal flower floette he doesn't care about mercy he was linked with ash's heart and knew AZ wasn't going to either...
Floette tries to use light of ruin but Ash quickly says telepathically "Charizard use your fire power to create a shield when i say use flame protection" Floette charges and just before it hits ash and goh. Ash says "Charizard use fire protection!" Charizard blocks light of ruin.
AZ staggered back, his eyes wide. "Impossible... no shield can hold against the Light! What have you done to that Pokémon?!"
Ash stepped through the smoke, his silhouette glowing with a faint, dark aura. "It's not about the move, AZ. It's about the heart behind it. You’re fighting for a world that died three thousand years ago. We’re fighting for the one that lives today."
Ash didn't even look at Floette. He pointed a single, steady finger past the legendary Pokémon, straight at the pulsing core of the Ultimate Weapon.
"Charizard! Ignore the Floette. Use Flamethrower on the Ultimate Weapon! CRACK THE CORE!"
Charizard didn't hesitate. He ignored the Light of Ruin, ignored the Floette, and unleashed a torrent of blue-black flames directly into the machine's heart. The energy of the 3,000-year-old weapon groaned, its internal systems screaming as the Crystalized Red heat melted its ancient circuits.
"NO!" AZ screamed, reaching out as the machine began to fracture.
But it was too late. The "Bite of Ash" had landed. As the Ultimate Weapon began to collapse in a shower of sparks and melting iron, Ash turned his back on the explosion, his eyes finally beginning to soften back into their brown state as the Crystalized energy receded.
Without another word, AZ recalled his Floette and threw a smoke-bomb laced with distorted Pokespirit. By the time the black mist cleared, he was gone, retreating into the shadows of the Kalosian underground.
Goh deactivated his connection to Cinderace, falling to his knees as the "Dark Pyro-Ball" energy finally receded. He was shaking, the guilt of Cerise and the rush of the fight finally hitting him at once. "He... he ran, Ash. We actually broke him."
Clemont’s scanner beeped a steady, rhythmic green. "The bHz levels are stabilizing... Ash, you're back to normal! The resonance is holding at a perfect 120. You're... you're really back!"
Serena didn't wait for the data. She reached out, her fingers brushing against Ash’s cheek as she searched his eyes. The obsidian void was gone, replaced by the warm, brown depth she had known since they were kids.
Ash let out a soft, non-crazy laugh, catching her hand and holding it firmly. "Serena... he was just an illusion. I keep this side of myself locked only for the worst situations, but I promise you, I am always in control. I'm not the monster AZ wanted me to be."
Goh stood up slowly, wiping the soot from his forehead. He looked at Cinderace, who was no longer emitting dark smoke but was leaning against him for support. "You had us worried there, Ash. For a second, when you were smiling like that... I thought we were losing you to the same madness that took Cerise."
Ash’s expression turned serious, his voice dropping into that deeper, mature tone that carried the weight of the Alolan throne. "Cerise let the data consume him. AZ let the past consume him. But I realized something today. I realized that this region doesn't belong to the past, and it doesn't belong to the machines. It belongs to us. To the people who actually live and breathe in it today."
"AZ ran," Ash continued, his gaze shifting to the shadows where the smoke-bomb had detonated. "He saw that 3,000 years of history couldn't stand against the bond we have right now. He’s out there somewhere in the underground, but he knows he isn't a King anymore. He’s just a fugitive."
Ash pulled Serena closer, his "Golden Stabilizer" energy finally bringing his heart back to a peaceful rhythm. "Let's get out of here. We’ve had enough dark domains for one day."
They go home and sleep until they are taken in there sleep and in the lumiose national corps.
The High Council chamber of the Kalos League was a tomb of cold marble and suppressed power. The air was thick with the scent of 120 bHz dampeners heavy lead plating designed to keep "Glitches" from tearing the room apart.
Ash, Serena, Goh, and Clemont sat at a long stone table, they had just woke up. Across from them sat the Elite Four and Champion Diantha, their faces masks of grief and political exhaustion. To the side, two empty chairs draped in black cloth stood as a silent, agonizing reminder: Meyer and Bonnie were gone.
"Let’s address the elephant in the room," Diantha began, her voice a cold, sharp blade. "Professor Cerise is dead. His laboratory is a crater. And two of our own a Gym Leader’s family were vaporized when the Ultimate Weapon discharged. The charge brought against you was murder, Ash and Goh. Murder of a Professor, and the catastrophic negligence that led to the deaths of your own friends."
The doors at the back of the hall slammed open with a sound like a thunderclap. Champion Lance stepped into the light, his dragon-scaled cape whipping behind him. He didn't wait for an invite. He marched to the table and stared down the Council with eyes that mirrored Ash's intensity.
"I’ve reviewed the black-box data from the Cerise Lab," Lance barked, his voice a draconic bass that rattled the dampeners. "Cerise wasn't a Professor at the end; he was a cancer with a PhD. He was harvesting bHz signatures from his own staff. He was too insane to begin with. As for the charge? I say good riddance."
The room went dead silent. The "Murder" charge was dismissed with a single sentence from the Dragon Master.
"The League has reached a verdict," Diantha said, leaning back as she looked at the teenagers who now looked like war veterans. "Geosenge is in ruins, but the 'Ultimate weapon' didn't take the whole region because you cracked the core. We aren't stripping your licenses. Instead, we are designating you as the first authorized Vigilante Unit in history The Obsidian Heroes. You have full jurisdictional immunity... and the blood of the innocent on your hands to remind you why."
Ash didn't smile. He didn't thank them. His eyes were a steady, matte brown, but the air around him still distorted with a 850 bHz hum.
"I was too busy battling AZ to see them running toward the light," Ash said, his voice deep and final. "I was locked in a 15,000 bHz clash with AZ. I did my job. Now, I’m going to finish it."
Suddenly, Clemont stood up. He wasn't the nervous "Science Bro" anymore. His glasses reflected the dim light, hiding his hollow eyes, and his hands were steady as he reached for the central console.
"Diantha," Clemont said, his voice cold and vibrating with a new, dark resonance. "I don't want a medal. And I don't want your sympathy. I want every restricted file in the National League archives. Every bHz signature, every Team Flare remnant, every shadow AZ has stepped in for 3,000 years."
Diantha hesitated. "Clemont, those are 'Black Files-"
"I'm not stopping until we take payback," Clemont interrupted, his voice cutting through her like a blade. "My sister didn't die for a 'Not Guilty' verdict. She died because we were blind. I’m going to map every vein of corruption in this world, and then Ash and Goh are going to cauterize them."
Lance pulled an encrypted drive from his belt and slid it across the stone table toward Clemont. "The files are yours. But be careful. When you stare into the Abyss... sometimes the Abyss stares back."
Ash stood up, the Obsidian Resonance flaring for a split second, blowing the heavy oak doors open without him even touching them.
"Give us the files," Ash commanded, the King’s authority final. "The League failed Bonnie and Meyer. We won't. It's time the shadows learned that the 'Heroes' have arrived." They were dismissed and they went outside. And Clemont said "Follow me"
Last edited:
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
woah thank you for your review here ill also put a spoiler tag open it to see your answersHello again! With you being new and having such wonderfully short chapters, I decided to pop in for some reviews of your fic! I hope you enjoy!
Oh, I thought you said you are a pre-teen in your intro post? But no worries!
I hid most of my comments behind a spoiler tag so it doesn't take up too much space in your fic. Just click it to expand!
Ash being forever a kid is something that always bugged me. Good choice.
Simple and works well. Nice!
Seems like a little spoiler but it can also build anticipation, so it still works!
Hmm! Sounds neat!
Sounds cool.
Sometimes it's nice just having the rules of a fic laid out. Makes it easy to understand!
Could this be an inspiration from a certain popular anime??
Yes PLEASE!! I always hated how the anime never allowed Ash to be in any kind of relationship. They really dropped the ball on that.
Nice cast of characters here! Sounds promising.
Always good to see a fellow author excited to post stuff!
Smart of you to include this line. It helped me confirm that feedback was something you wanted!
But I'm not done. Let's take a look at your chapters!
Oh wow. Now that's a cool name for a chapter! Cool points awarded here for you.
Ooo! What a tense way to start!
And by the way, I'm impressed how little spelling and grammar errors I'm seeing here and you seem to have a knack for some cool descriptions!
Neat way of communicating Ash's experience in the way that he observes!
Seems like you are setting up some interesting plot threads!
Ooo that sounds significant!
I'm really curious if this is your first fic. Your prose is unexpectedly nice!
Quite a bit of mood and intrigue you set up here!
Ok ok!! Yeah! Nice way to start a fic!
The small chapters make it so easy for people to pop in to give you reviews. Any ideas on how long you plan to make your fic?
I've got a fic at the bottom of my post here with a link too if your are curious.
Have a great day! 😉
and i'll be writing casually here i only write formally so my chapters look apealing
first of the intro thread was after i thought writing young teen was better idea but i have changed it
and also the cast of characters uh yea i don't think those are relevant anymore
and yes it is my first fic i couldn't use images much (my drawing is horrible) i decided to go for a more prose approach here
i really think you will like the idea i've taken with the chapters a bit
and the chapters we are making it longer then ever
if you read the chapters and have any more questions don't be shy to ask
Edit: Oop i kinda forgot to change the character cast in the intro its now relevant as some characters were a bit too much to put in now and i already kinda revealed the major and minor villain so the edited the cast is relevant but these are ash and the gang not the whole characters
and also the cast of characters uh yea i don't think those are relevant anymore
and yes it is my first fic i couldn't use images much (my drawing is horrible) i decided to go for a more prose approach here
i really think you will like the idea i've taken with the chapters a bit
and the chapters we are making it longer then ever
if you read the chapters and have any more questions don't be shy to ask
Edit: Oop i kinda forgot to change the character cast in the intro its now relevant as some characters were a bit too much to put in now and i already kinda revealed the major and minor villain so the edited the cast is relevant but these are ash and the gang not the whole characters
Last edited:
Hey Kingvoid, I've read up until chapter 4 and here's my review on chapters 1 to 4.
In my opinion ,Chapter 1 was way too short and it didn't give a proper introduction to anyone besides maybe a half intro for Ash. I understand wanting to get the chapters out as soon as possible to keep readers interested but you also need to balance speed with quality and that's a capability that I think you might be lacking. Taking your time when writing your fic can do wonders for your writing because you're not under a deadline. Another thing that would help you is getting someone to be a beta reader for you so they could help you identify grammatical errors and sometimes continuity errors which will help your fic look more professional .
Moving on to Chapter 2, would you mind explaining the corrupted vines? Where did they come from and who or what caused them to appear? Ash getting Greninja to create a new move out of nothing was pretty cool but Goh and Cinderace got completely jobbed in this chapter. I get wanting to show how powerful Ash is compared to most trainers but Goh and Cinderace were just absolutely useless here. In my opinion, you could have had them fight the other corrupted vines while Ash and Greninja fought the Mother Vine.
Chapter 3 was the part that the Ash and Serena fans made a TR account for. Even though I have never watched an episode of Pokemon XYZ, the Internet taught me that people would kill to see Ash and Serena together. I don't really have much to say on this chapter though because I personally didn't grow up with this kind of stuff but it was a nice break from the mayhem of chapters 1 and 2.
Chapter 4. Well, I didn't expect AZ to be like Spawn but villainous AZ is a first for me. I haven't seen anyone portray him as a villain within these fics before. (This is my first time reading about AZ in a fic ever.)
Overall, I can tell that some crazy shit's about to go down in the later chapters but for now I'm out.
In my opinion ,Chapter 1 was way too short and it didn't give a proper introduction to anyone besides maybe a half intro for Ash. I understand wanting to get the chapters out as soon as possible to keep readers interested but you also need to balance speed with quality and that's a capability that I think you might be lacking. Taking your time when writing your fic can do wonders for your writing because you're not under a deadline. Another thing that would help you is getting someone to be a beta reader for you so they could help you identify grammatical errors and sometimes continuity errors which will help your fic look more professional .
Moving on to Chapter 2, would you mind explaining the corrupted vines? Where did they come from and who or what caused them to appear? Ash getting Greninja to create a new move out of nothing was pretty cool but Goh and Cinderace got completely jobbed in this chapter. I get wanting to show how powerful Ash is compared to most trainers but Goh and Cinderace were just absolutely useless here. In my opinion, you could have had them fight the other corrupted vines while Ash and Greninja fought the Mother Vine.
Chapter 3 was the part that the Ash and Serena fans made a TR account for. Even though I have never watched an episode of Pokemon XYZ, the Internet taught me that people would kill to see Ash and Serena together. I don't really have much to say on this chapter though because I personally didn't grow up with this kind of stuff but it was a nice break from the mayhem of chapters 1 and 2.
Chapter 4. Well, I didn't expect AZ to be like Spawn but villainous AZ is a first for me. I haven't seen anyone portray him as a villain within these fics before. (This is my first time reading about AZ in a fic ever.)
Overall, I can tell that some crazy shit's about to go down in the later chapters but for now I'm out.
reply
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
I've hidden my answers behind a spoiler tag click to expand
Ok so yea you have a lot of confusion and i know this is completely normal
and i will keep one. So lets move forward
Well that's all from me
hope you have a good day
Your right in the short part but you should've read the introduction so you could a few nice points here and of course i'm totally fine
and i will keep one. So lets move forward
Well this chapter was made to symbolize Ash and Greninja's power and not just build upon the world. So you haven't watched XYZ yeah that's a major part of the story i recommend you do so you don't get lost in the plot thread and I did wanna make Goh and Cinderace feel useless here cause they tried to attack the vine but the it was absorbed into kinetic energy. And further on the journeys episode 108 you could see normal attacks like lucario's aura sphere didn't work you would've got more clarity instead of confusion so Ash had to come up with a new move just to fight it. And the vines they are connected with XYZ's team flare arc after Ash was robbed in kalos league. 😡
Yea your right i actually wanted to make the fans feel like they got the scene they deserved 8.5 will continue on this set of romance after something dark happens in 8 💘
This was a hard decision for me to make i wrote that villains wouldn't be like your normal giovanni and i also said that a king from XYZ would return so i actually killed 2 birds in one.
Your right about crazy shit for real so like Chapter 8 ooo damn your gonna be shocked.
Well that's all from me
hope you have a good day
Tango
Mascot of the Doduo Alliance
Alright, king. I'm back for the next review I mentioned!
This time my goal will be to provide the best example of a good review as I can for you. Take special note of it!
One thing I want to point out: I am only focusing on positive reactions and theories here. I'm not looking for spelling/grammar errors and am not looking for ways to provide editing suggestions to improve prose. I'm also not looking to find fault with characters, events, or general plot. A review does not need concrit for it to be enjoyable. Also, reviews of pure concrit feel bad. The best way to increase the value of your reviews is to do long and positive reviews. As long and as genuinely positive as you can.
Review word count starting from below this point (yes, I counted by putting my words in a word document to count them this word count does NOT include the words from your chapter, ONLY the words in my review of it!): 1,080 words
Since the fic is "The kalosian journeys", one can assume that the entirety of this fic takes place in Kalos. The chapter title suggests that Kalos will be freed, but it can also be interpreted as the problem that Ash will take the rest of this fic to solve. This chapter presents the problem rather than the outcome. That is what I've surmised from your chapter title.
Now on to the line-by-line!
But Kalos is an entire region. This threat reads like it is a wide-spread regional threat rather than specific to a single patch of woods! If it is a regional threat, it means Greninja likely cannot defend all of Kalos on its own. But for it to still be defending anyway, that suggests that there is still something worth defending! And if there is still something worth defending, it means Flare has not succeeded in their plans yet. If it is a regional crisis, it means there are others helping to defend Kalos too. I wonder who the other defenders are?
I imagine the mother vine is like this:
"H-hey guys... I'm right here, you know! I'm big and scary, and you better take me seriously because I'm going to do some really bad things! Like really bad! So you should be like afraid and stuff! ...please? You have no idea what it's like hanging around in this forest for months waiting for Ash to show up... I finally made my big reveal and this is what I get?! You know what? FINE. YOU WIN! I HATE THIS CRUMMY JOB ANYWAY! In fact, I'm going to go attack Flare RIGHT NOW! They made me exist just to humiliate me!!!"
*Mother vine storms off to go attack Flare*
Closing thoughts:
You did a lot with this chapter. We got to see how cool Greninja is and and example of sync and Ash's battle prowess in your fic. We got to see him reunited with Serena too. As for the chapter title, I'm not totally sure how it plays into this, and I feel like Flare was only just getting started with that vine. This sets up nicely for future chapters.
So, yeah. How about THAT for a review?
This time my goal will be to provide the best example of a good review as I can for you. Take special note of it!
One thing I want to point out: I am only focusing on positive reactions and theories here. I'm not looking for spelling/grammar errors and am not looking for ways to provide editing suggestions to improve prose. I'm also not looking to find fault with characters, events, or general plot. A review does not need concrit for it to be enjoyable. Also, reviews of pure concrit feel bad. The best way to increase the value of your reviews is to do long and positive reviews. As long and as genuinely positive as you can.
Review word count starting from below this point (yes, I counted by putting my words in a word document to count them this word count does NOT include the words from your chapter, ONLY the words in my review of it!): 1,080 words
Freeing Kalos? This suggests Kalos is not free. If it is not free, that means there is something that took freedom away. Something that can be opposed. But where is this oppression coming from, I wonder?
Since the fic is "The kalosian journeys", one can assume that the entirety of this fic takes place in Kalos. The chapter title suggests that Kalos will be freed, but it can also be interpreted as the problem that Ash will take the rest of this fic to solve. This chapter presents the problem rather than the outcome. That is what I've surmised from your chapter title.
Now on to the line-by-line!
Companions are important. In the anime, Ash rarely traveled alone.
Memories. Helps to establish that Ash is no stranger to Kalos and showcases his experience.
This greeting seems casual. It suggests that Ash hasn't gone too long since the last time he saw Bonnie.
Ooo! An important first step for a trainer!
This establishes how close Bonnie is with Ash.
Ah, Bonnie seems like she is a little spoiled. Acting a bit like a little princess!
Oh! So there is an ongoing threat to Kalos by Flare's vines and Greninja is part of the defense!
But Kalos is an entire region. This threat reads like it is a wide-spread regional threat rather than specific to a single patch of woods! If it is a regional threat, it means Greninja likely cannot defend all of Kalos on its own. But for it to still be defending anyway, that suggests that there is still something worth defending! And if there is still something worth defending, it means Flare has not succeeded in their plans yet. If it is a regional crisis, it means there are others helping to defend Kalos too. I wonder who the other defenders are?
This suggests that Ash has gone a while without seeing Greninja. It means that he probably had to part ways for a time because the threat from Flare was so severe. Ash probably worried about Greninja out there on its own holding back the forces of darkness. This makes Geninja look immensely cool. The lone warrior fighting off the forces of evil in a perpetual battle.
The Kalos league... I get the feeling this will be important to the plot.
Oh? This suggests Cerise is being compelled by something. It reminds me of Boramir trying to take the one ring from Frodo in The Lord of The Rings!
And yet, Ash doesn't take Cerise seriously. Ah, I think this is regarding a phone call! That would make sense!
Nailed it.
Most likely this is referring to 'sync'
I wonder if the vines are reacting to the sync or if they are reacting to something else? Or maybe they just got unlucky and a big attack is now imminent?
Sounds like he got extraordinarily lucky to encounter it, then! No-doubt he needs to end this here and NOW!!!
Oh. So I guess this isn't the world-ending legendary boss I thought it was.
They are arguing over who gets to fight it!
I imagine the mother vine is like this:
"H-hey guys... I'm right here, you know! I'm big and scary, and you better take me seriously because I'm going to do some really bad things! Like really bad! So you should be like afraid and stuff! ...please? You have no idea what it's like hanging around in this forest for months waiting for Ash to show up... I finally made my big reveal and this is what I get?! You know what? FINE. YOU WIN! I HATE THIS CRUMMY JOB ANYWAY! In fact, I'm going to go attack Flare RIGHT NOW! They made me exist just to humiliate me!!!"
*Mother vine storms off to go attack Flare*
Goh, have you SEEN what Pikachu can do? 😅
And here is where Geninja gets its cool debut!
You mean the water type that has been single-handedly defending this forest from who know how many smaller vines for who knows how long ALONE? Goh doesn't seem very good at recognizing Ash's battle potential. I'm guessing we are about to get a demonstration. And something tells me we WON'T need a 100% sync for the point to be made. 😎
That's right. Because Ash is a battle-genius BEAST with a 200 battle IQ!
Oh that will DEFINITELY do it!
Oh! So perhaps this vine is more serious than expected?
Oh wow. That seems like a BIG problem if it can shrug off SUPER EFFECTIVE attacks!!
Invents a new move mid-battle. What did I tell you folks? Battle-genious BEAST! 😎
A sync, it seems!
It is now, Goh. 😎
Ooo! This will be good!
And massive cool points are awarded both to Ash and to Greninja. 😎
It sure is, Clemont. You jealous?
Not a particularly powerful move but it IS super effective and the vine has likely been sufficiently weakened.
I feel like Ash probably turned around as he gave the Arial Ace command. Closing his eyes and walking away with his hands in his pockets as Greninja finished off it's foe. The shattering of it a backdrop to Ash walking towards the camera.
The corruption fades now that the source has been eliminated.
Great to see her getting introduced early. Especially with the sneak-peak you gave me of her for later!
Since she knew Greninja was there, she likely knew what Greninja was doing. The fact that she didn't think to help Greninja shows that she has faith in Greninja's abilities. Yet another way to imply how awesome Greninja is.
Gone without seeing her for a long time? Reunions are some seriously sweet moments.
Always missed? Ash, my boy. This chick totally digs you. It's time to stop being a little boy and be a man!
There you go, Ash. I'm glad to see him not be a complete idiot when it comes to girls for a change.
Ash and Serena in a hotel together? Sounds like a recipe for some potential romance to spark!
Closing thoughts:
You did a lot with this chapter. We got to see how cool Greninja is and and example of sync and Ash's battle prowess in your fic. We got to see him reunited with Serena too. As for the chapter title, I'm not totally sure how it plays into this, and I feel like Flare was only just getting started with that vine. This sets up nicely for future chapters.
So, yeah. How about THAT for a review?
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Your answers are below tango just in the spoiler tag
but let's look your review on chapter 2 you're actually pretty behind but yea.
a vine could easily find you.
Well there are my answers if you have more questions ask me.
have a nice day
Hey okay this review is pretty nice honestly it didn't focus on somethings i actually didn't do like explain the mother
oh this one is pretty special this wasn't just great review to look at honestly , you spotted a lot of things.This time my goal will be to provide the best example of a good review as I can for you. Take special note of it!
Yea well your right on that.
the chapter is just supposed be showing how much Ash and Greninja have grown from the original kalos journeys and the title actually means freeing kalos from the corruption of the vines. As the Mother Vine was defeated.Freeing Kalos? This suggests Kalos is not free. If it is not free, that means there is something that took freedom away. Something that can be opposed. But where is this oppression coming from, I wonder?
right but not quite , and you're totally wrong on the problem. Other problems will be there such as (spoiler) AZ and Cerise so yea...
but let's look your review on chapter 2 you're actually pretty behind but yea.
I wanted to make the companions special and not some people travelling with Ash , you'll see why in the later chapters.Companions are important. In the anime, Ash rarely traveled alone.
for real i actually didn't include this part when i originally made the chapter but i edited a lot so yea i added it to make it feel a bit more nice.
it's been 2 years Bonnie is approximately 9. so yea Ash was 16 in Kalos , he's 18 now , i always thought Bonnie was 7 not 5 or something.
oh yea also i'm dropping the bomb don't get too emotionally attached.Ooo! An important first step for a trainer!
ding ding ding we have a winner!This establishes how close Bonnie is with Ash.
she is actually so dissapointed that Ash didn't know she was gonna get dedenne.Ah, Bonnie seems like she is a little spoiled. Acting a bit like a little princess!
No other defenders and The vines have only in Lumiose as they have not been able to spread becasue of greninja. and team flare has already been disbanded.Oh! So there is an ongoing threat to Kalos by Flare's vines and Greninja is part of the defense!
But Kalos is an entire region. This threat reads like it is a wide-spread regional threat rather than specific to a single patch of woods! If it is a regional threat, it means Greninja likely cannot defend all of Kalos on its own. But for it to still be defending anyway, that suggests that there is still something worth defending! And if there is still something worth defending, it means Flare has not succeeded in their plans yet. If it is a regional crisis, it means there are others helping to defend Kalos too. I wonder who the other defenders are?
The battle bond phenomenon will be very important to Ash.The Kalos league... I get the feeling this will be important to the plot.
oh i forgot to see this line yea it's been canonically 2 years. and yea very right Ash was very worried.This suggests that Ash has gone a while without seeing Greninja. It means that he probably had to part ways for a time because the threat from Flare was so severe. Ash probably worried about Greninja out there on its own holding back the forces of darkness. This makes Geninja look immensely cool. The lone warrior fighting off the forces of evil in a perpetual battle.
Compelled by data of course.
Yea he is catching on and yea it's a video call.And yet, Ash doesn't take Cerise seriously. Ah, I think this is regarding a phone call! That would make sense!
hehe that line doesn't make sense but alright.Nailed it.
DING DING DING We have a winner!Most likely this is referring to 'sync'
they react to greninja trying to erase them and because greninja and Ash were feeling the 'Sync' That's why instead of Greninja , It attacked Ash.I wonder if the vines are reacting to the sync or if they are reacting to something else? Or maybe they just got unlucky and a big attack is now imminent?
that is very true.Sounds like he got extraordinarily lucky to encounter it, then! No-doubt he needs to end this here and NOW!!!
But it will be.Oh. So I guess this isn't the world-ending legendary boss I thought it was.
i like the story you imagined but the vines don't have like brains or shit they just react to bhz to attack even if you were hidden ,They are arguing over who gets to fight it!
I imagine the mother vine is like this:
"H-hey guys... I'm right here, you know! I'm big and scary, and you better take me seriously because I'm going to do some really bad things! Like really bad! So you should be like afraid and stuff! ...please? You have no idea what it's like hanging around in this forest for months waiting for Ash to show up... I finally made my big reveal and this is what I get?! You know what? FINE. YOU WIN! I HATE THIS CRUMMY JOB ANYWAY! In fact, I'm going to go attack Flare RIGHT NOW! They made me exist just to humiliate me!!!"
*Mother vine storms off to go attack Flare*
a vine could easily find you.
For real it's only been 108 episodes but Goh doubts Ash here honestly big mistake.
yep nothing more to say.And here is where Geninja gets its cool debut!
Yea so Goh he hasn't seen a single bit about Greninja he just heard about him 6 hours ago so of course Greninja will be heavily underestimated.
i like how you took attention to the new character bios i added to the introduction or maybe i sent you the bios in dms too so yea.That's right. Because Ash is a battle-genius BEAST with a 200 battle IQ!
Oh that definitely won't.Oh that will DEFINITELY do it!
Yea Goh fighting Ash to fight it is actually so like underestimating and boom almost nothing happens with Ice Beam not water shuriken , Ice beamOh! So perhaps this vine is more serious than expected?
If you have ever watched Journeys episode 108 a regular vine could handle a Aura sphere and sustain little to no damage.Oh wow. That seems like a BIG problem if it can shrug off SUPER EFFECTIVE attacks!!
Of course Ash uttilizes his insane Battle IQ
DING DING DING We have a winner!A sync, it seems!
I like how you glazed Ash in this chapter , LMAO wait until you read chapter 8.
The battle mechanics here that was established Bhz or B-hrtz is pretty significant to your power.Ooo! This will be good!
For real massive like KSI's forehead
that sentence just defines how Clemont was feeling.It sure is, Clemont. You jealous?
The vines take more damage from physical moves more than special moves.Not a particularly powerful move but it IS super effective and the vine has likely been sufficiently weakened.
Would be cool indeed but did not happen.
Only one word Answer to this and it's Yep
that's for chapter 8.5 so like yea it's already been released. we have chapter 12 a crazy one for sure.Great to see her getting introduced early. Especially with the sneak-peak you gave me of her for later!
Bro greninja is mad OP.Since she knew Greninja was there, she likely knew what Greninja was doing. The fact that she didn't think to help Greninja shows that she has faith in Greninja's abilities. Yet another way to imply how awesome Greninja is.
Very true sir.Gone without seeing her for a long time? Reunions are some seriously sweet moments.
Oh boy you will love chapter 3.Always missed? Ash, my boy. This chick totally digs you. It's time to stop being a little boy and be a man!
Yea the introduction already killed dense ash.
Date night? maybe?Ash and Serena in a hotel together? Sounds like a recipe for some potential romance to spark!
yes it really does.Closing thoughts:
You did a lot with this chapter. We got to see how cool Greninja is and and example of sync and Ash's battle prowess in your fic. We got to see him reunited with Serena too. As for the chapter title, I'm not totally sure how it plays into this, and I feel like Flare was only just getting started with that vine. This sets up nicely for future chapters.
GREAT!So, yeah. How about THAT for a review?
have a nice day
Update
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
So guys i basically just conjoined a bunch of chapters together here to make 4 chapters which are pretty long like i was at 5.4k words before i conjoined them now i'm at 7.7k so yea no need to update your reviews or anything just saying i updated the pacing
kingvoid out
kingvoid out
Chapter 5 (Part 1)
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 5: The rise and fall of AZ (Part 1)
They were dismissed and they went outside. And Clemont said "Follow me"As the Obsidian Heroes move toward a shed Clemont had in route 12
The air there felt heavy Clemont was feeling tense and angry at AZ. The air was showing Clemont's rage just by looking at him Ash felt that the friend and scientist he knew was gone and replaced by a vengeance that would never stop
Clemont takes a out a laptop and puts the drive in to see tons of files nothing significant just signs and laws that were upholded were seen documented. Clemont said "Nothing significant to our case here..." Goh spotted a folder labeled 'Anomalies' he pointed out "Clemont look at that folder" Clemont opened them to see 3 folders 'Anomaly 246' 'Anomaly 1' and finally 'Anomaly 15000' he checked 'Anomaly 15000' first to see a full text document that documented Ash's sinister incident here but Clemont immediately closed it then he opened 'Anomaly 1' to see it recorded Goh's murder of Cerise and his battle bond with Cinderace. Clemont also closed it and opened Anomaly 246 to see All the information on AZ. Clemont said "YES! finally we found it!"
Authors note :- things with ( ) are what is said in the document
(Anomaly 246 better known as AZ is a very dangerous threat if he escapes Zygarde's seal)
(The first page also contained the blueprints to the ultimate weapon)
Clemont said calmly "Well Ash according to these blueprints here you successfully have destroyed the weapon" he continued "I can see the location of his secret underground base of activites under LUMIOSE CITY GYM?!?!?!?!?!?!??"
Clemont finally said "Let's move Ash you distract him while i control the area with the access key i made for anything in lumiose city"
'The Obsidian Heroes now head for lumiose city to fight AZ. Will they able to overpower him?'
Now The Obsidian Heroes now move towards Prism Tower. Clemont says "I think i know where he is hiding." he continues "There was a door the league told me specifically to never even dare to open it and think that's where AZ is hiding" Now they reach Prism Tower to find the exact door open in the ground floor. They go down to find AZ trying to heal Eternal Flower Floette to fuse her with the Ange of Prism Tower , as AZ finally heals it Ash and Goh burst in. Ash says sinisterly "AZ how you doing bud? feeling good after my 'bite'?" AZ turns his happy expression to shocked and replied "Damn you kids , always meddling with my plans. Ash then replies again even more sinisterly "You won't live to see your plan start" AZ sends out Houndoom then Ash sends out Greninja and Goh sends out Suicune. AZ then says "Oh the sidekick brought a another pokemon? [Insert Crazy laugh here]" Ash says sinisterly "Oh he turned to the so called sidekick you'll see why that's wrong" Ash battle bonds with greninja but Goh says "Ash i won't need battle bond for this my bhz is high enough to play with our prey" Ash says crazily "Shall we begin?" Ash calls out "PokeDomain: Open!" he continues "NINJA'S ULTIMATE VOID!" he opens a domain this time stronger than AZ could ever have seen. AZ says maniacally "A trainer with 2 domains [insert maniac laughing] interesting your fire , your desire" he continued "powerful indeed but not enough" Ash replied sinisterly "Oh but it is AZ , how wouldn't it be?" Goh says telepathically to Suicune "Suicune when i say use water blast charge a powerful ball made of water and fire it just when it get big enough with full power and speed" Ash was keeping AZ busy by hitting him with water shurikens and water impacts now Goh had the perfect chance to shock AZ and finish off Houndoom before he could AZ threw a smoke bomb tried to escape but realized the door was shut from the outside he said "No it can't be" "But it can be" Announced Clemont from the speakers , he continued "let's see your total agony , just like how you agonized my family" AZ screamed "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T" Ash said sinisterly "Heard that AZ it's a full cage match now [insert crazy laughing]" AZ said terrified "NO NO NO WAIT WAIT WAIT YOU CAN'T KILL ME YOU'LL GO TO JAIL" Ash mocked AZ with a sinister tone "Why would i let you go? plus how would we go to jail? we are already a vigilante squad we won't be charged for anything [laughs at AZ ,the laugh gets louder and louder every second]" Goh whispers to Suicune "Quick Suicune use water blast and finish Houndoom" Suicune starts charging it gets big AZ looks at it, it was too late Houndoom fainted and AZ was wetter than the ocean had water. Ash said coldly "OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU!" Ash yelled sinisterly now "Greninja , blow the Ange..." Greninja used Ice impact to blow the Ange effectively ruining AZ's plan , Now Clemont's heliolisk creept from behind of AZ and Clemont announced "HELIOLISK! USE THUNDERBOLT DIRECTLY ON AZ!" this effectively put the final nail in AZ's coffin. Ash looks at AZ. in his last seconds of life AZ heard from Ash "Gonna cry?"
Now Clemont goes down to the ground floor and opens the seal door and finds AZ dead and says coldly "He finally got his demise , good work team" Ash replied in a normal voice now "Phew finally he wasn't a challenge there " Goh said "Yea Ash one improvised move and he's soaked" The air was now pleasant , Serena came in and said "Ash? You okay? " Ash replied to Serena "Serena i'm fine" Serena said "Looking at you through the cameras was like looking at a monster, Thank Arceus that was just an illusion for AZ" Clemont said "The league asked for AZ's body let's go submit it already" They moved to the International League building where Diantha was waiting and she said "Well that was quicker than expected" she continued "We're also gonna need the camera footage sent on this number" She showed a number on her phone '#91 4024729270' Clemont replied "No problem , will send it soon as i can" They entered the building , The air ,It wasn't heavy nor was it tense and they watched and spotted Leon and he said "Congratulations Obsidian Heroes, You have eliminated AZ a mighty threat indeed" "You all need to come tommorow when we start the cremation of AZ in public , and Ash it wouldn't be a chamber with fire i want your Charizard to do it Any fire type move Improvised or not his body will be burned in a coffin. And as for the others prepare a speech and come in your finest dresses, We have a mansion ready for you guys , your stuff has been moved there with contact to your parents." Diantha will guide you there. Diantha says "Let's move" They go out the Obsidian Heroes now feel acomplished , Diantha already had a cab for her now she dropped them off and said "Here is your home , here are the keys , the luggage is in the storage room , heres about 1 million pokedollars for your work ,okay you can go inside now." Now Diantha marks her leave. Ash says all pumped and excited "WOW! SUCH A NICE MANSION" Serena said calmly "Ash , lower your voice" They go inside and they put there own seperate luggage in their seperate rooms , Goh and Clemont in one room , Ash and Serena in another room. The air felt pleasant and nice , Ash checked his wardrobe to find 5 suits! Ash yelled "GUYS WHY DO I HAVE 5 SUITS ALL OF A SUDDEN?" he continued "Oooo there's a note from...mom?"
The note said
"Dear Ash , Congrats on becoming the leader of a vigilante squad! , I never expected you for that role but here we are , i left these 5 suits to make you look sharp on tv.
Love
Your dear mom"
Ash said "Wow she really put in some thought when packing my luggage huh"
Serena said "I have a note too!"
The note said:
"Serena i really didn't think you would ever join a vigilante squad , I know your going to be there at AZ's public cremation i packed some special clothes for you to look your best!
Love mom"
Clemont yelled "Guys i need some good clothes i don't have any suits"
Goh yelled "Guys i found a note in my drawer!"
The note said
"Goh we are shocked that you murdered Cerise but i knew something would happen to him someday but i didn't expect you to burn him , But i got good news right after Your in a vigilante squad just so warm knowing my son is a hero i packed 4 suits for you , look sharp on tv!
Love
Mom"
Ash said "Clemont lets find 4 suits for you we have 1 million pokedollars of course!"
Clemont replied "Alright Ash" Serena yelled "Clemont i found some nice suits for you online they are just coming to the house"
The suits arrived Ash picked them up from the porch and gave them to clemont Ash said to Serena "So how much did you get the suits for?" Serena answered calmly "Just about 10 thousand pokedollars" The whole group except Serena yelled "ONLY TEN THOUSAND POKEDOLLARS!?!" Serena replied "Well yea , if you can't budget SORRY but i'll have to shop" Serena says "it's dark outside what do you guys want?" They all reply "POKEPUFFS!" Serena continues "Let me check my cooking bag , alright i found all the ingredients wait about 20 minutes" Ash says like he's bored "20 minutes but i'm so hungry" Serena sighs and replies "You'll have to wait" 15 minutes go by Ash starts chanting "POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS POKEPUFFS" Serena says angrily "ASH! STOP IT!" Ash replies in a sad tone "But i'm hungry :( " Goh interrupts sternly "Ash you know what she said , don't you have some patience" 5 minutes go by and Serena says "Finished she places the plates and the Pokepuffs , she says "Dig in!" Goh immediately puts in his mouth and says "HOT HOT HOT" then Ash giggles and replies obnoxiously "Have some patience Goh" while he giggles again they all finish the meal and Clemont says "let me send the fight footage from today to the number Diantha showed me". He sent the footage now everyone goes to sleep in king beds.
The end of chapter 5 part 1
Last edited:
Chapter 5 (Part 2) Teaser
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 5 :The Rise and Fall of AZ (Part 2)
Teaser
Serena wakes up Brushes her teeth , takes a shower, wears a nice blue and red formal dress with black and white flowers and wakes the men up and said "Guys get ready we have to leave in 2 hours while i cook breakfast" Ash says "Alright i'm going to go brush my teeth, shave and shower" Ash brushes his teeth , shaves and showers. he picked a dark blue suit with a white shirt under and Serena commented while having a smile "it fits your style" and he replied "That dress does the same for you , you look beautiful Serena" Goh looks and catches Ash and Serena talking and says "Wow Ash i really didn't that from you 😳" Ash replied "I mean of course you didn't notice the macaron cafe didn't you? [laughing]" Goh answered "From like 3 days ago right? Yea i did but was too focused on data" Ash replied confused "3 days? it feels way longer than 3 days" Serena joked "Ash you really perceive time slow, just like Kalos" Ash replied "Hey i've grown from then" "Well you really have" said Clemont who just wore a fancy dark green suit with a yellow shirt under it ,Ash replied "Woah Clemont you look nice" Goh also said "Looking great buddy!" They both say as Clemont is lookin clean 🔥 bro got that drip on max sheesh. Goh says "I'll get ready and come have breakfast in about 30 minutes" 30 minutes pass and Goh returns right as Serena says "Breakfast's ready!" He looks clean with a black suit made of fancy fabric and a white shirt under it Ash says "Sheesh Goh you look awesome 🔥 "Thanks Ash" was the reply from Goh and Serena placed the plates with the dinner before she did Goh got a call from Diantha he picked up and Diantha said "Thank Arkoos your not asleep the venue has been set up coming to pick you up in 30 minutes " Goh replied "We are just having breakfast will be ready in about 10 minutes" Goh said "Guys eat fast only 30 minutes left to go!" Our heroes eat exactly in 15 minutes and Serena cleaned the table and put the dishes in the sink they only had 10 minutes left they locked the doors and windows and stood outside the mansion finally Diantha came in her cab. They get in and as the door of the cab shuts, the "Pleasant" air of the mansion is replaced by "Tense" air everyone was rehearsing their speech in their minds. They finally reach the venue Leon was giving his speech about power and dominance and passing the torch of protection of the world. Blah Blah Ash and Serena by his side and behind them were Goh and Clemont.
Chapter 5 (Part 2)
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 5 :The Rise and Fall of AZ (Part 2)
Serena wakes up Brushes her teeth , takes a shower, wears a nice blue and red formal dress with black and white flowers and wakes the men up and said "Guys get ready we have to leave in 2 hours while i cook breakfast" Ash says "Alright i'm going to go brush my teeth, shave and shower" Ash brushes his teeth , shaves and showers. he picked a dark blue suit with a white shirt under and Serena commented while having a smile "it fits your style" and he replied "That dress does the same for you , you look beautiful Serena" Goh looks and catches Ash and Serena talking and says "Wow Ash i really didn't that from you 😳" Ash replied "I mean of course you didn't notice the macaron cafe didn't you? [laughing]" Goh answered "From like 3 days ago right? Yea i did but was too focused on data" Ash replied confused "3 days? it feels way longer than 3 days" Serena joked "Ash you really perceive time slow, just like Kalos" Ash replied "Hey i've grown from then" "Well you really have" said Clemont who just wore a fancy dark green suit with a yellow shirt under it ,Ash replied "Woah Clemont you look nice" Goh also said "Looking great buddy!" They both say as Clemont is lookin clean 🔥 bro got that drip on max sheesh. Goh says "I'll get ready and come have breakfast in about 30 minutes" 30 minutes pass and Goh returns right as Serena says "Breakfast's ready!" He looks clean with a black suit made of fancy fabric and a white shirt under it Ash says "Sheesh Goh you look awesome 🔥" "Thanks Ash" was the reply from Goh and Serena placed the plates with the dinner before she did Goh got a call from Diantha he picked up and Diantha said "Thank Arkoos your not asleep the venue has been set up coming to pick you up in 30 minutes" Goh replied "We are just having breakfast will be ready in about 10 minutes" Goh said "Guys eat fast only 30 minutes left to go!" Our heroes eat exactly in 15 minutes and Serena cleaned the table and put the dishes in the sink they only had 10 minutes left they locked the doors and windows and stood outside the mansion finally Diantha came in her cab. They get in and as the door of the cab shuts, the "Pleasant" air of the mansion is replaced by "Tense" air everyone was rehearsing their speech in their minds. They finally reach the venue Leon was giving his speech about power and dominance and passing the torch of protection of the world. Blah Blah Ash and Serena by his side and behind them were Goh and Clemont. Ash stepped on the stage and was given a medal of heroism along with the others. Then they announce the inaguration trophy. They all held the trophy together.Ash steps to the mic, the dark blue suit making his obsidian aura pop. He doesn't smile. He looks at the crowd like he’s calculating their bHz.
"My name is Ash Ketchum. For ten years, I traveled this world looking for a 'Master' title. I realized I was looking for the wrong thing. You don’t become a Master by winning a trophy; you become a Master by having the strength to do what the League is too afraid to do.
AZ was a king of the past. He thought 3,000 years of history made him untouchable. He was wrong. The past is dead, and I’m the one who buried it. To anyone else out there planning a 'revolution' or a 'new world order' I’m not the kid from the TV anymore. I’m the Anomaly that’s going to find you. If you disturb the peace of this generation, you won't get a battle. You’ll get a demise. Consider this your only warning."he stepped back.
Goh stands tall in his charcoal black suit. He doesn't look like a researcher; he looks like a reaper.
"You all knew Professor Cerise as a man of science. I knew him as a mentor. But data is a drug, and he overdosed on it. He didn't care about your safety he cared about your 'signatures.' When a cancer grows that deep, you don't study it you cut it out.
The League calls me a 'Vigilante.' I call myself the consequence of Cerise's madness. I burned my own past to protect your future. If you think your 'Archive' or your 'Secret Lab' will hide you from me, remember this. I caught Mew. I killed Cerise. Finding you will be the easiest part of my day."
Clemont’s voice is cold, vibrating with that dark resonance. He looks at the spot where the laser hit Geosenge.
"My name is Clemont Meyer. I’m a scientist. I believe in logic, math, and evidence. Here is the evidence: AZ built a weapon, and the League watched. My father is gone. My little sister, Bonnie... she was nine years old. She didn't have a bHz signature over 50. She was innocent.
AZ thought he could hide his base under my Gym. He thought he could use my city as a battery for his ego. He learned the hard way that when you take everything from a man of science, he stops building machines to help you and starts building machines to end you. I didn’t just avenge my family yesterday i killed a threat the League was too 'political' to handle. The Obsidian Heroes aren't here for your medals. We're here for your shadows."
Serena steps to the podium, her red and blue dress flowing. She looks like royalty, but her eyes have a sharp, "Obsidian" edge that silences the remaining murmurs in the crowd.
"Most of you know me for my smiles on a stage. You think a 'Performer' is just there to look pretty while the world burns. You’re wrong.
A performance is about control. It's about knowing exactly where every shadow falls. While my team was in the basement of Prism Tower I realized that the greatest performance of all is the one where the villain never gets a second act.
We are the Obsidian Heroes because the League was too quiet while the innocent were screaming. My dress might be colorful, but the blood on our hands is real. To the people of Kalos: sleep well tonight. But to the 'Anomalies' hiding in the dark? Don't bother running. My boys are hungry, and I’m the one who lets them off the leash. The show is over..."
She steps back and stands firmly beside Ash, grabbing his hand. The "Golden Resonance" flaring between them is so bright it actually makes the Council members in the front row flinch.
Ash (whispering): " 'My boys are hungry'? Damn, Serena. That was cold."
Serena (smirking): "I had to keep up with your 'Gonna cry' energy, didn't I?"
Goh: "She’s scarier than both of us combined when she’s mad."
Clemont: " Serena is officially the boss of this squad."
Leon walks over, looking at the four 18-year-olds who just threatened the entire planet on live TV.
Leon: "The Council is having a heart attack. You guys just declared war on every criminal organization in the world."
Ash: "Good. Saves us the time of looking for them."
Leon stepped back, giving Ash the center stage. The massive, reinforced coffin of the 3,000-year-old King sat on an obsidian dais, looking like a relic that should have stayed buried
Ash didn't reach for a normal Poké Ball. He pulled out a sphere humming with a Crystalized Red energy. "Charizard," Ash whispered, his voice carrying through"give him the peace he refused the world."
Charizard erupted onto the dais. He wasn't the orange dragon the public remembered. His matte black scales and the Obsidian Blue flame on his tail made the crowd pull back in primal fear.
Ash said coldly "Charizard... use Obsidian Inferno.
Charizard opened his maw and unleashed a stream of black-and-blue fire so intense that the air around the coffin began to crystallize.
This wasn't a slow burn. The heat was surgical and absolute. The steel and ancient iron of the coffin didn't melt it vaporized.
Within sixty seconds, there were no ashes. There was no smoke. The fire was so hot it consumed its own waste, leaving nothing but a glowing scorch mark where a King once lay
As the black flames receded, a deathly silence fell over Lumiose City. No one clapped. No one cheered. They had just watched a "Hero" delete history with a god-like power.
Ash stood amidst the shimmering heat waves, his hand finding Serena’s. He didn't look at the crowd. He looked at the empty space on the dais and muttered, "Gonna cry?" not to the people, but to the ghost of the era he just ended.
Some asked "Ash , what is your type in woman?"
The question cut through the heavy, sterile silence of the plaza like a stray bolt of lightning. Ash didn't even flinch. He didn't look at the reporter, and he didn't let go of Serena’s hand.
The "Golden Resonance" between them pulsed, a warm contrast to the scorched, black earth where the coffin had just been vaporized.
Ash turned his head slightly, his eyes still carrying that sharp, mature edge of the Alolan King. He looked at Serena for a split second a look that held the weight of ten years of journeys, a kiss at an airport.
"My type?"
He stepped closer to Serena, his dark blue suit sleeve brushing against her crimson dress. The "Bully Maguire" smirk played on the corners of his lips for just a moment before his expression turned deadly serious.
"I don't have a 'type,'" Ash said coldly into the microphone. "I have a Queen. I like someone who can look into the abyss with me and not blink. Someone who knows that being a 'Hero' is a performance, but being a partner is a blood-bond."
He raised their interlaced hands for the cameras to see.
"If you're asking if I like girls who are 'sweet' or 'pretty,' you’re missing the point," Ash continued, his voice dropping an octave. "I like the girl who lets the monsters off the leash. I like the girl who stabilized my soul when AZ tried to shatter it. I like Serena."
Serena’s smirk widened, her own "Obsidian" gaze matching his. "Better watch out," she whispered, loud enough for the front row to hear. "He’s taken by the only person scarier than he is."
Ash looked back at the crowd one last time.
Without another word, the Obsidian Heroes turned their backs on the press and walked toward the waiting cab, leaving the League and the citizens of Kalos wondering if they had just witnessed a romance or a royal decree.
TO BE CONTINUED
Last edited:
Chapter 5.5
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 5.5: Romance night
The massive oak doors clicked shut, sealing out the world’s fear. Goh and Clemont headed for the kitchen, their footsteps fading as the "Tense" air of the plaza evaporated into the luxury of the foyer.Goh let out a long whistle as he tossed his charcoal jacket onto the sofa. " 'I have a Queen'? Damn, Ash. You really went full Shakespeare on live TV."
Clemont loosened his tie, his 170 IQ already back on the monitors. "It was efficient. It shuts down the paparazzi and cements the squad's image. Plus, the bHz spike when you said that was... significant."
Ash just chuckled, looking at Serena. "Gonna cry, Serena?"
Serena rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance."
Ash didn't move from the stairs. He leaned back against the banister, his dark blue suit jacket hanging off one finger. He watched Serena as she kicked off her heels, her crimson dress catching the soft light of the chandelier.
"You handled that mic better than I did," Ash said, his voice dropping into that deep, relaxed register. " 'My boys are hungry'? You're lucky I didn't start laughing on stage."
Serena walked over, her bare feet silent on the marble. She didn't stop until she was inches away, her hands finding the buttons of his vest. "It wasn't a joke, Ash. I saw the way the Council looked at you. They don't see a hero , they see a weapon. I had to remind them who actually has the safety on."
She finished unbuttoning his vest and looked up, her gaze steady. The Golden Resonance between them wasn't a flare this time it was a constant, warm hum.
Ash reached out, his hand sliding behind her neck, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw. "The safety's off, Serena. AZ made sure of that. But you're the only one who knows which way the barrel's pointed."
He pulled her into a slow, lingering kiss one that didn't have the "desperate" energy of the hotel or the "adrenaline" of the woods. It was a kiss of ownership. A kiss that said we’ve already done this, and I’m never stopping.
Serena pulled back just a fraction, her breath hitching. "Ten years of you being a dense idiot... and now you're out here giving speeches and acting like a King. It’s a lot to keep up with."
"Then don't keep up," Ash whispered, his smirk returning as he pulled her closer by the waist. "Just stay exactly where you are. I’m not going anywhere."
Serena laughed softly, resting her forehead against his. "Good. Because if you try to run off on another journey without me now, I’ll have to let those 'hungry boys' of mine find you."
Ash chuckled, the Obsidian edge in his eyes softening completely. "Gonna be hard to run when I’ve got a Queen holding the leash."
RIP DENSE ASH.
Goh (from the kitchen): "CLEMONT! THE BHz METER IS REDLINING AGAIN! SHOULD I THROW A POKEPUFF AT THEM?"
Clemont said ''If you value your life, you'll stay in the kitchen and eat your dinner."
Goh replied "Okay i'll stay"
Serena and Ash went down and said "Alright guys we are off for dinner!"
Clemont said "Ash take greninja's pokeball who knows what can happen."
"Good point," Ash said, his voice dropping into that tactical, mature tone. He reached for the heavy, customized Pokéball on the counter—the one etched with the obsidian blue wave pattern. "Greninja, you're with us."
The ball pulsed once in his hand, a silent acknowledgement from the King of Kalos. Even on a dinner date, the 15,000 bHz resonance never truly slept.
Goh looked up from his plate, his eyes tracking the Pokéball. "Just don't 'Ice Impact' the waiter if they're out of macarons, okay? The League's cleanup crew is already busy in Geosenge."
Serena laughed, adjusting the strap of her crimson dress. "Don't worry, Goh. If things get out of hand, I'm the one who lets the monsters off the leash, remember?"
Ash smirked, his eyes flashing that matte brown as he opened the mansion's massive oak door for her. The cool Lumiose night air rushed in, smelling of rain and neon. "We'll be back by eleven. Clemont, keep an eye on the Anomaly folders. If anything spikes over 500 bHz, call me immediately."
"Copy that, Leader," Clemont replied, his glasses reflecting the blue light of his monitors. "Enjoy your night. The world can stay quiet for a few hours."
As the door clicked shut, the silence of the mansion was only broken by the low hum of Clemont’s servers.
[Lumiose City - Night]
Ash and Serena walked down the boulevard, their interlaced hands a silent signal to the crowds that parted like the Red Sea. No one dared ask for an autograph. No one dared take a photo. They didn't see a "Pokémon Master" and a "Performer"; they saw the Obsidian King and his Queen.
"It’s quiet," Serena whispered, leaning her head against Ash's shoulder.
"It's the peace of the grave," Ash replied coldly, his gaze scanning the shadows of the alleyways. "They're not peaceful because they're happy, Serena. They're peaceful because they're terrified. And as long as they're safe, I can live with that."
They reached the Étoile Grand, the most exclusive restaurant in the city. The Maître d’ bowed so low his forehead nearly touched the floor. "Table for two, Monsieur Ketchum? The balcony is already cleared of other guests, as per Champion Diantha’s request."
"Perfect," Ash said.
The "Golden Resonance" flared slightly as Serena’s playful voice broke through Ash’s cold focus. She pulled him toward the edge of the balcony, where the Lumiose skyline stretched out like a map of neon veins.
"Ash," she said, her voice dropping the 'Queen' act for a moment. "Stop scanning the bHz for five minutes. Look at the view. We fought for this." Ash let out a slow breath, the matte-brown of his eyes softening. "You're right. I’m still stuck in the 'Ultimate Ninja' mindset." He sat down, the chair scraping against the marble, but his hand never left hers.
The Maître d’ arrived with a bottle of vintage Lumiose sparkling cider. "Compliments of Champion Diantha, Monsieur. She said to 'celebrate the silence' while it lasts."
"She knows us too well," Ash muttered, pouring two glasses. He looked at Serena, the candlelight dancing in her blue eyes. "To the Obsidian Heroes. And to the girl who didn't run when I became a monster."
"To the King," Serena replied, clinking her glass against his. "And to the 'Dense Ash' who finally figured out how to use a menu."
They laughed, the sound echoing over the quiet streets below. For thirty minutes, the war felt a thousand miles away. They talked about the old days the forest, the gym battles, and the macarons. But just as the main course arrived
The waiter arrived with the main course slow roasted Ducklett with a glaze of Magost Berry and bowed so low he nearly tripped over his own apron. Ash didn't even look up. His eyes were locked on Serena, the flickering candlelight catching the "Obsidian" sharp edges of his jawline.
"You're still scanning, aren't you?" Serena asked, her voice a playful hum. She reached across the white linen cloth and placed her hand over his.
Ash leaned back, the dark blue fabric of his suit straining slightly against his shoulders. "I can't help it, Serena. My bHz is tuned to this city. I can feel the pulse of the Prism Tower from here. It’s... quiet. Too quiet."
"It’s not 'too quiet,' Ash. It’s just 'quiet,'" Serena corrected, her thumb tracing the back of his hand. "Clemont is at the mansion with a 170 IQ and a Suicune backed Goh. If a Pidgey sneezes with more than 50 bHz, they'll know. You don't have to be the 'General' for one dinner."
Ash let out a slow, controlled breath, the matte-brown of his eyes finally softening as he squeezed her hand. "You're right. I’m still stuck in the 'Ultimate Ninja' mindset. Force of habit."
He picked up his glass of sparkling cider, the gold bubbles catching the neon glow of Lumiose below. "To the girl who stayed. And to the 'Dense Ash' who finally figured out that a suit looks better than a vest and a cap."
Serena laughed, the sound cutting through the heavy, sterile air of the balcony. "To the King. And to the only man in Kalos who can threaten an entire region and then ask for extra macarons."
They clinked glasses, the crystal ringing out with a sharp, clear note. For the next hour, the "Vigilante" life stayed outside the balcony railing. They talked about the old days the forest, the performances, and the long walks through the Kalosian woods.
Ash didn't check his Holo-Caster. He didn't pulse his resonance. He just sat there, the "Golden Stabilizer" of Serena’s presence keeping his heart at a steady, peaceful 60 bHz.
When the dessert arrived a pair of gold leafed macarons Ash held one out to her. "Remember the first time you gave me one of these? I thought it was just fuel for the next gym. I didn't realize it was a promise."
Serena took a bite, her blue eyes shimmering. "It took you ten years to fulfill that promise, Ash Ketchum. I think you owe me more than just one dinner."
"I owe you a lifetime of them," Ash said, his voice dropping into that deep, meaningful register.
As they stood up to leave, the Maître d’ handed Ash his long coat. "A peaceful night, Monsieur Ketchum. Not a single anomaly reported in the district."
Ash smirked, sliding his arm around Serena’s waist as they walked toward the elevator. "That’s because the anomalies know better than to interrupt my date."
They walked back to the mansion under the glow of the Prism Tower. The streets weren't "Terrified" they were just calm. No alerts, no ghosts, no spikes. Just the sound of their footsteps on the rain-slicked pavement.
As they reached the massive oak doors, Ash paused, looking at Serena one last time before going inside.
"Gonna cry, Serena?" Ash whispered, his smirk returning.
Serena stepped into the warm foyer, kicking off her heels and looking back at him with a gaze that made the "Obsidian" edge in his soul feel finally, truly at peace. "Only if you stop being this version of yourself tomorrow."
Ash stepped inside and locked the door with a firm, final click.
RIP DENSE ASH.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Chapter 6
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
Chapter 6: The Ghost of the Galleria
The morning at the Obsidian Mansion didn't begin with the usual spark of adrenaline. There was no sound of small sneakers skidding across the polished marble, no high pitched laughter, and no Dedenne sparks popping in the air. The silence was a physical weight, thick enough to muffle the hum of the 15,000 bHz sensors sitting on the kitchen island.Serena was the first to break the stillness. She stood at the industrial stove, her blonde hair tied back in a practical knot. Her eyes were tired, shadowed by the trauma of the Geosenge blast, but her hands were steady. She wasn't just cooking; she was trying to reconstruct a sense of "normal" with every crack of an egg.
Ash drifted into the kitchen, looking less like a King and more like a ghost. He wore a plain black t-shirt that fit tight across his shoulders, the lean muscle of an eighteen year old warrior looking out of place in such a domestic setting. He didn't say a word. He simply walked up behind Serena and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His "Obsidian" heart, usually a roaring engine of battle ready energy, slowed down to a soft, rhythmic thrum.
"It smells like... before," Ash whispered, his voice rough.
"Pancakes, scrambled eggs with Moo-Moo cheese, and fresh Lum Berry juice," Serena said, her voice small but firm. She turned slightly in his arms to press a lingering kiss to his cheek. "And I made the small ones, Ash. The ones Bonnie used to stack like towers."
The mention of the name hung in the air like a localized bHz spike. A moment later, Goh and Clemont shuffled in. Clemont looked like he had aged a decade in three days. His yellow shirt was wrinkled, his hair was a bird's nest, and his glasses were smudged with the grease of a hundred failed inventions. He sat down at the circular table, his gaze instinctively drifting to the empty chair on his right the one where a nine-year-old girl should have been wiggling around, begging for extra syrup.
"Eat, Clemont," Ash said, his voice regaining that "Leader" authority, though it was tempered with kindness. He slid a plate of eggs toward his friend. "We can't hunt the Abyss if our bodies are failing. The resonance needs fuel."
"I'm not hungry, Ash," Clemont muttered, his voice cracking like glass. "The math doesn't make sense anymore. Why am I sitting here eating pancakes while she’s... while she’s part of the atmosphere?"
Goh, usually the one obsessed with cold data and catch-rates, slammed his hand lightly on the table. It wasn't an act of anger, but of desperation. "Clemont, look at Serena. She’s been up since dawn. She didn't make this because we’re hungry; she made it so we wouldn't disappear into our own heads. Just... take a bite. For her. And for the memory of the girl who would have kicked your shin if you wasted a Dedenne-cake."
Clemont looked down at the small, perfectly round pancakes. He picked up a fork with a trembling hand. The first bite tasted like dust, but by the third, the "Golden Resonance" radiating from Serena began to work. It wasn't a power boost it was a stabilizer. It filled the cracks in his soul just enough to let him breathe.
"We’re going out after this," Serena announced, her tone leaving no room for argument. "Clemont, you haven't left that basement in seventy-two hours. Goh, you’re staring at the wall like it’s a terminal. We’re going to the Lumiose Galleria. We have a million Pokedollars and a city that is currently peaceful because of us. We are going to walk among the people we protected."
Ash nodded, cleaning his plate with the mechanical efficiency of a soldier. "She’s right. If we stay in this house, the shadows win. Let's show Lumiose that the Obsidian Heroes aren't just monsters in suits."
[Lumiose Galleria - 1:00 PM]
The Galleria was a cathedral of glass and neon, a sprawling testament to Kalosian luxury. It was filled with the sounds of a city that had already forgotten the terror of the previous week parents laughing with children, couples holding hands, and trainers bragging about their latest catches.
The Obsidian Heroes moved through the crowd like a dark current in a bright ocean. Ash wore a plain black hoodie with the hood pulled up, his eyes hidden behind dark aviators, but his presence was impossible to mask. People instinctively stepped aside, sensing the 15,000 bHz hum that vibrated in his very bones. They didn't see the boy who loved Pokémon; they saw the man who had vaporized a 3,000-year-old King on live television.
"Look," Goh whispered, nudging Clemont.
They were standing in front of The Dedenne Den, a boutique store overflowing with plushies and toys. In the center of the display window sat a giant Dedenne plushie, nearly four feet tall, with soft felt whiskers and a stitched, happy smile.
Clemont stopped. His breath hitched. "She talked about that thing for three months," he whispered. "She said she wanted to use it as a beanbag chair."
Without a word, Clemont walked into the store. His footsteps were heavy, echoing on the pristine tile. The shopkeeper, a young girl who clearly didn't recognize the grieving Gym Leader, beamed at him. "Oh! It’s our last one! Is it a surprise for a little sister?"
Clemont’s hand tightened on his credit card until his knuckles turned white. "It’s for a memory," he said, his voice a cold, 170 IQ monotone. He paid the ten thousand Pokedollars without glancing at the receipt.
Ash and Serena waited by a marble pillar outside. Ash’s head was on a swivel, his eyes scanning the balconies and the crowds. It was a reflex now looking for the anomaly, the glitch, the threat. "She should be here, Serena," Ash said, his voice dropping an octave. "She should be running toward that store, tripping over her own feet, and yelling for Clemont to hurry up."
Serena squeezed his hand, her fingers interlaced with his. Her "Golden Stabilizer" was working overtime, a soft glow resonating between them that acted as a shield against the public's curious stares. "I know, Ash. But we are the ones who carry the weight now. We walk the dark path so she doesn't have to. Even if she isn't here... we do it for her."
[The Food Court - 3:30 PM]
They sat at a large circular table in the corner of the food court, away from the main bustle. The giant Dedenne plushie occupied the chair where Bonnie should have sat, its oversized head leaning slightly against the table. It was a silent, yellow witness to their grief.
Serena reached into her bag and pulled out a small, elegant box. She opened it to reveal four macarons three blue, and one bright pink. She placed the pink one on a napkin directly in front of the plushie. "Her favorite flavor," Serena whispered. "Strawberry and Peached Berry."
Ash picked up a blue one, turning it over in his fingers. He didn't have his usual appetite. He looked at Goh, who was staring blankly at a new Rotom-Phone case he had bought but didn't seem to care about. "Goh? Talk to me."
Goh sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I keep looking at the data, Ash. I keep looking at the bHz charts from that night. I can see the exact millisecond the Ultimate Weapon discharged. I can see the spike. And it haunts me that with all this power with Suicune, with 15,000 bHz, with your 'Obsidian' resonance we were still too slow to save a nine-year-old."
"Power isn't a god, Goh," Ash said, his eyes flashing with a matte-brown intensity. "It’s a tool. We learned that the hard way. AZ taught us that the past is a weapon, and Cerise taught us that the future is a trap. All we have is right now."
Clemont reached out and patted the plushie’s head. "I'm going to take the 'Black Files' and I'm going to build something, Ash. Not a weapon. Not a domain. I'm going to build a network that monitors every soul in Kalos. If a child so much as trips in the woods, I want to know. I’m never being 'too slow' again."
They sat there for two more hours, not talking about the mission, but just watching the world. They watched a father buy his daughter an ice cream cone. They watched a young boy get his first Pokéball. They were the monsters in the shadows, the "Obsidian Heroes" who had blood on their hands, and they did it so these people didn't have to know what a "Domain Expansion" felt like.
As the sun began to set, casting long, orange shadows through the Galleria’s glass roof, they stood up to leave. Clemont picked up the massive plushie, hugging it to his chest as they walked toward the exit. People stared a grown man in a designer suit carrying a giant toybut no one dared to laugh. The air around the four of them was too heavy, too "Hollow."
"Thanks, Serena," Clemont said as they reached the waiting cab. "The sun... it helped."
"We're a team," Serena said, leaning her head on Ash's shoulder. "We don't leave anyone in the dark."
Ash opened the door, looking back at the mall one last time. The neon lights were flickering on, a beautiful, fake starsystem. "Tomorrow, we go back to the files," Ash said, his voice deep and final. "Tomorrow, we find the next Anomaly. But tonight... tonight we just go home."
The cab pulled away, leaving the mall behind. The "Obsidian Heroes" were returning to their mansion, to their ghosts, and to the hunt.
The end of Chapter 6
Update
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
So guys i got my original thread back! so yea i am gonna be posting chapter 7's teaser soon!
Chapter 7 teaser
New
kingvoid
Owner of the famous Void-Greninja
- Location
- The way of the void
- Pronouns
- he/him
This is just a teaser yall
open the spoiler tag to see it
Chapter 7: Surprising Visits! (Teaser)
The morning over Lumiose City didn't break with a sunrise; it broke with a heavy, grey humidity that clung to the obsidian spires of the mansion like a shroud. Inside, the atmosphere was even heavier. Ash stood on the reinforced balcony of the master suite, his hands gripping the cold marble railing. He wasn't wearing the tailored blue suit or the high-collared mantle of the "Obsidian King." He wore a plain black hoodie, the fabric fraying at the cuffs, and his eyes, usually a sharp, tactical matte-brown, were glazed with a boredom that felt like physical weight.
Beside him, Serena leaned against the stone, her crimson dress a sharp splash of color against the dark architecture. She watched the way his fingers drummed a rhythmic, restless beat against the stone.
"Are you feeling bored?" she asked, her voice a soft hum that usually acted as his primary stabilizer.
Ash didn't look at her. He kept his gaze fixed on the perimeter fence, watching the National Corps guards pace their synchronized routes. "Hm. Nope. Not at all."
Serena hissed a soft, skeptical breath. "Oh, as if I don't see that expression, Ash. You’re looking for a glitch. You’re looking for a reason to pulse your resonance. You’ve been staring at that gate for twenty minutes hoping an Anomaly would try to crash it."
Ash finally turned, a small, weary smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth—the "Bully" energy surfacing just for a second. "Fine. You caught me. It feels so... boring, Serena. After killing AZ, after the 15,000 bHz clash, the world just feels quiet. It feels like the volume’s been turned down to zero. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"The other shoe isn't a monster this time, Ash," Serena replied, her gaze shifting to the driveway. "Sometimes, the quiet is the reward. You just don't know how to live in it yet."
Just as the words left her lips, a yellow cab rounded the corner of the boulevard, its tires screeching slightly as it pulled up to the massive iron gates. Ash’s posture shifted instantly. His shoulders squared, his eyes sharpened, and for a heartbeat, the air around him began to vibrate with that familiar, low-frequency hum.
"Someone’s here," Ash whispered, his voice dropping into that deep, "Leader" register. He reached for the customized Pokéball on his belt. "Clemont! Goh! We have a visitor at the gate. No bHz signature, but they’re bypassing the security protocol."
The cab door swung open. A woman stepped out, wearing a simple sun hat and a practical cardigan.
"Mom!?!?" Ash yelled, his voice cracking as the "King" persona shattered into a million pieces. He leaned so far over the balcony he nearly tipped over. "What is she doing here? Why is she at the gate?"
Before he could process the shock, the other doors of the cab flew open. As if it were meant to be, Grace stepped out, her designer clothes looking impossibly bright against the dark pavement. She adjusted her sunglasses, looking up at the mansion with a look of pure, aesthetic disapproval.
"Mom?" Serena gasped, her own "Queen" composure evaporating.
Then the backdoors of the cab opened to reveal Goh’s mom and dad. Goh, who had been walking through the foyer with a cup of black coffee, stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at the monitors, then at the driveway, and his jaw dropped.
"What are you guys looking at?" Goh asked, his voice shaking. Then he saw the screen. "Mom and Dad? What are they... how did they even get past the regional blockade?"
Down in the driveway, Delia Ketchum looked up at the balcony. She didn't see the "Obsidian Heroes" or the "Vigilantes of Kalos." She saw three teenagers looking down at her like lost Wingulls.
"STOP GASPING AND HELP YOUR PARENTS OUT A BIT, WON’T YOU!" Delia yelled, her voice carrying a maternal authority that 15,000 bHz couldn't touch.