Pokémon TCG2: Doduo Adventures - Book One: TCG Island

[Tango]

I returned. Now I shall comment on the second chapter. Review, go!

Awesome!

Spoiler: Review for Chapter 2

Track 12 – I see you have a soft spot for A majors. Also a fit for the [traveling montage]. Only concern goes for the music tempo.
The way it is, it expresses a feeling of [being pumped up], contrasting MC’s balanced narration.

SO true! I'm glad you are there to call me out on my occasional less than stellar track selection! I've swapped it for a more fitting one.

You have already fixed it.

was one of only two curious bodies

Tell that to Ash Ketchum.

Ironically, MC used to wear a bandanna in his youth...

Track 13 – nothing too revolutionary here. I leave no comment.

Fair.

We are off to a great start for the water club. What an alluring description!
shoutout for reminding me of misty’s sisters

Yes, but these ones are far more nefarious...

I do it all the time, not just with girls. Even with people I have known for years. So no worries.

MC is usually very good at that sort of thing, so getting it wrong bugs him a lot.

Track 14 – a messy rhythm for this messy moment. What a musical flirt for me!

Sounds like I nailed it on that one!

I go away and sue them for harassment. Period.

Yeah, but MC is too nice to do that to them even if they deserve it.

Me picking up on a small mistake because I haven’t seen major ones, yet.

I ponder, wooould sooomeoone doooo this with the letteerrs in a diiary? I did not regret my thought.

Perhaps not, but it makes it more amusing, so I am keeping it.

Again, is this typical stuff for a diary? MC’s got that sense of anticipation in his writing!
just like the book author

Its typical for this guy, yeah!

Now mentioning the illustrations. Cute.

It turns out there is a lot of charm one can add just by using official pixel art from the game. Glad you are enjoying it! I've put a ton of effort into the various images and barely anyone else comments on them! (I think they all get spoiled from them being there and don't realize how much they would miss them if I wrote a chapter with none in it lol...)

Track 15 – a C major that mixes anticipation with humor. Interesting choice.

I come up with some unique tracks to use as I go.

Worry not, Joshua. Those girls are yet to cover their toilets in yellow juice.

I would say something about this, but considering the chapter title, I don't think I have much room to talk lol...

Note: if you were using the commas to represent pauses in speech, a better fit would be “you to duel… Mister Gentleman here”.

Correction, the foolish fool. For not filing a complaint against the girls, and for being easily influenced by [flirting girls]. I am definitively not on his side here.

He does bring it partially on himself.

Track 16 – an F major to give that feeling of peace, after those [messy scenes]. While short, this theme brings the reader back into the Pokémon atmosphere.

Maintaining a Pokemon atmosphere is something I usually like to do. I will deviate from it when I have some especially fitting tracks to utilize, though.

Track 16.5 – a mix of D major melody with battle beats. Great for the upcoming battle.
this track reminds me of a game with a very touching story. i genuinely cried

Aww. I hope the callback for you was a pleasant one, even if bittersweet.

Glad you like the track, though!

Caught one! “what I was planning, even though”

Classic case of opponents never taking into account MC’s strategy. Am I seeing a pattern to those NPCs?

Indeed you are! Congratulations. You have stumbled upon a plot thread hinted at in the tutoring session with Billy. This will be something that gets explored more in the fic series.

At least, Amanda’s turns are more detailed than [the grass tomb] from earlier. A more fitting challenge for our champion.
i regret writing that last line

This is a case where I'm not quite sure what you mean. Why would you call the Grass Club a grass tomb? I feel like there is a joke in there and it's just flying right over my head...

Guilt trip as a tactic?! GET OUT!

There is no tactic these girls will not stoop to!

Illustrations! While repetitive, these convey the scenes quite well. Not much to add, here.

They can be a bit repetitive at times but they do seem to make it a bit more like a visual novel. If you see any segments where the repetition is especially jarring, feel free to point them out. It might be a while until you find a chapter where they are noticeable enough to point out, though.

apo-💥
the apostrophe thingy

YEEAH! I’m rooting for you!

Now, seriously. Get over it, Mr Champion. These women are not worth your attention anymore. Finish the battle, then leave.
and sue them in your way out

Nah, he is too nice to think about suing them. Even when starving for money. Besides, depending on how his life goes, these girls may be his only options for romantic relationships...

Track 17 – the first time a theme happens inside the plot. Also, the suspense effect is excellent for the scenes.

I mean, I pretty much had to do it here, right?

Caught one! “an amusement park. Except that his suit”

The one duel I actually wanted to read the full context. Or perhaps more details to cover how “Snorlax was a fearsome foe”.

Ok, I went back and expanded the details some. Thanks!

Caught one! “his way out, picking up the”

What a mundane exit for an NPC, compared to the importance the narration gives him. As seen in

Might be worth adding more relevance to his presence.

Hes kind of like that in the game. You enter an area he is in? The normal music is replaced with his own. Once you play him in a duel he leaves and the music returns to normal.

Track 18 – surely, the chosen track had to contain the word “bird”. Regardless, the melody matches the [relaxing with anxiety] montage our MC goes through.

Bird maaay have had something to do with it, perhaps...

Glad you find it fitting!

By the way, great moment to resurface MC’s life routine and goals. Well done.

Thanks! I try to add detail of that sort when I think of it.

Um.

“fearsome” and “weakest” do not align.

Aside from that, the contextualization about Imakuni?! does a fair job at informing TCG outsiders. Much appreciated.
i still suggest adding more context to the character

You're right! I was thinking about how weak he was in the first game, but he is a decent bit stronger in the second. I updated the authors note to make that more clear. Thanks!

I just finished reading Chapter 2, and I shall praise it. I shall highlight how excited I am about MC&Doduo staying together.

And I shall say that I am glad this excites you because you will be seeing a lot more of Doduo!

Furthermore, I shall mention how forgettable those water-club witches were.

I don't know, I'd say they made quite an impact...

I can't wait to read the next chapter!

That's what I love about long fics. A nice over-arching plot. Something you can really sink your teeth into and enjoy over a longer period of time.