• Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!

    Join now!

Negrek

Play the Rain
Staff
Turns out I did read the the first chapter after all (I have an unorthodox reading style due to ADHD/Anxiety but you get the point)

Present is a tricky tense to use and I speak from experience. I think the reason why present tense is so tricky is because the description game becomes totally different when writing a story in real time. You have done a great jon in showing how present tense should be utlized. It can't just be shoehorned into any story in the place of past tense. The drama and tension carry a sense of immediacy and urgency and you have multiple instances of evocative descriptions which is always a big plus to me.
Thanks, I'm glad you like the use of present tense here! It's been a lot of fun doing this project in what's an unusual tense for me, although now I tend to find myself falling back on it even when I don't mean to, heh. Thanks for stopping by!

Ahaha, guessing this smile wasn't very convincing.
Whaaaat? Of course it was convinving! The child's the best at smiles. :)

Oh boy, I'm guessing Hypno picked up Alina was kind of freaked out and came out there ready to fight.
When you live in Orre, having your roommate call for you in a shaky voice before seven AM is definitely cause to show up ready to throw down. :P

The most helpful child!
it's fine, tell enough people the time they didn't ask for and you can definitely make up for a light bit of murder.

Boy, this sounds like it might be involved with Mewtwo. The getting the child to do a murder last chapter in particular is something that's striking me as possibly a symptom of this.
Could be! There's something going on with him for sure.

Oh man. What a chapter. Love the child's sheer traumatized terror throughout it all, always convinced Hypno's about to tell them to leave when really she senses that they're terrified and need somewhere to be. Hypno is so good.

The bit about memories locked away doesn't sound like Mewtwo but does sound like the child a bit, as they mention. Wonder if Celebi will play a role in revealing more of how the child came to be by letting them recover memories they can't access. Sure would have to be some of those if indeed the child is Mew.
Hypno continues to be a good, although one wonders if she'll come to regret sending the child back with Mewtwo here. And at some point and in some way memories are going to be key to all this mess.

Possible flaws in the child's plan:
- Absol might be able to find the Master Ball via Fate, and if she does she'll dig it up because Fate trumps everything else.
- I don't recall if this fic has established exactly what happens when a Pokéball is destroyed with a Pokémon in it, but it seems a not-unreasonable assumption that the Pokémon would be automatically let out? In which case burying it under the pressure of a mountain of sand might not be great.
- Or maybe the pressure would just plain press the button in?

Either way, looking forward to seeing this all go horribly wrong.
I completely love the idea of the pressure of the sand depressing the button on the master ball--biggest "womp womp" moment ever, heh. But your first bullet point there is pretty well dead on. The child knew Absol wouldn't be happy about it burying Mewtwo in the desert, but it probably should have considered that if it had any shot at interfering with Fate, Absol would be aware it was coming and prepared to do whatever it took to prevent it.

Glad you enjoyed this chapter! And I hope you enjoy the fallout, too. Thanks for leaving your thoughts, and for the typos as well... "foar" feels like a new low somehow, how did that even happen.
 

Dragonfree

Moderator
Staff
Location
Iceland
Pronouns
she/her/hers
Partners
  1. butterfree
  2. mightyena
  3. charizard
  4. scyther-mia
  5. vulpix
  6. slugma
"No, I don't know. What was he going to do?" Titan asks, blinking at you in bewilderment.

Rats waves a paw at him. "Titan, shh. Later."

Of course Titan doesn't know. You don't want him to know, to have to know. About any of it.
Oh no Titan.

Didn't want to do it. Rats says it so confidently, like it's self-evident. Like you could never possibly have wanted to kill someone. Despite all the times you've wanted to before. Or maybe actually did. You weren't very careful about hurting Rockets. Why are you crying now, unmoored? What's changed from when you waited for deaths with Absol, feeling nothing but annoyance if things took longer than expected?
They've sure been around some emotionally healthy Pokémon a bit just like Shadow Pokémon hmm hmmmmm

Feels like a pretty short chapter all in all, though it's not as short as it feels - just two scenes, the child optimistically hoping everything's fine now as its Pokémon try to comfort it (but also building the psychic dampener just in case), and then Mewtwo reappearing and the fight against him. The Pokémon wanting to help was sweet; poor Titan, though. I enjoyed the child's contemplation of how Rats and the others are determined it would never kill anyone when it silently knows it could, and has as good as tried to on multiple occasions even without shifting to less human thinking.

I'm legitimately curious about what Absol is thinking at this point; she sure doesn't seem to like pointless violence much, so while the Fate instinct overrides it, I wonder if she truly feels all that great about this.

Excited to see the fallout here - my brain went to wondering if Titan would try to find Nate for help, but I don't know that that's at all feasible or likely.

But I though of that anyway.
*thought

kowtwow cleave
*kowtow
 

Blackjack Gabbiani

Merely a collector
Pronouns
Them
Partners
  1. shaymin
  2. dusknoir
Read the first few chapters.

Quite an interesting premise. The way the narration seems to shift and be almost unreliable at points gives it a nice off-kilter feeling. The notion of the pokemon being so wary, knowing this isn't their trainer but some weird creature inhabiting their trainer, gives itself a sense of necessary detachment. Charizard especially, his emotions--anger, confusion, and grief especially--on finding out his trainer is dead but still somehow standing right in front of him, both himself and not himself, are very nicely depicted. It must be such a strange and surreal feeling to hear that your trainer is dead but this is your trainer, by name, and they could be someone else tomorrow. They could vanish just as easily tomorrow.

And your previous story being called Little God...well that's just a reference to Ancient Mew isn't it? Little God Or Evil, the mysterious inscription on the card. What a suspicious thing to put on it...especially since it was never returned to and we know the effect the card ALONE once had.

I like how you use full names, though I wonder what would happen if someone with that name read your story haha. Have you ever encountered that?
 

Negrek

Play the Rain
Staff
They've sure been around some emotionally healthy Pokémon a bit just like Shadow Pokémon hmm hmmmmm
There sure do seem to be shadow pokémon parallels all over the place around here lately...

Feels like a pretty short chapter all in all, though it's not as short as it feels - just two scenes, the child optimistically hoping everything's fine now as its Pokémon try to comfort it (but also building the psychic dampener just in case), and then Mewtwo reappearing and the fight against him.
Yeah, I was afraid it might feel a bit slight. Better to have a two-chapter format where one feels a little short than to have a single chapter where people are finding it a slog to reach the end, so it's not the worst thing, but it's good to know what you felt about the length. Maybe I can look at revising it back into 54 after all.

The Pokémon wanting to help was sweet; poor Titan, though. I enjoyed the child's contemplation of how Rats and the others are determined it would never kill anyone when it silently knows it could, and has as good as tried to on multiple occasions even without shifting to less human thinking.
The pokémon all see the best in the protagonist... perhaps it's starting to question whether it really lives up to their hype.

I'm legitimately curious about what Absol is thinking at this point; she sure doesn't seem to like pointless violence much, so while the Fate instinct overrides it, I wonder if she truly feels all that great about this.
It's certainly a good time to be thinking about this, since that's a major element of Chapter 56!

Excited to see the fallout here - my brain went to wondering if Titan would try to find Nate for help, but I don't know that that's at all feasible or likely.
Not very feasible, unfortunately. They probably (and correctly) would assume there's a low chance he's in Orre, and Titan definitely can't fly them all the way back to Kanto. I guess for pokémon with pokéballs there might be services where they could just zap themselves back there in a teleporter? Would probably be harder to access in Orre because there aren't many pokéballs around, but perhaps that would be an option... In any case, I don't know that they'd feel confident about tracking Nate down in a reasonable amount of time if they returned to Kanto, especially given that he's trying to stay away from people in general at the moment. Also I don't think the child's team is super impressed with him overall, heh. Togetic would be all in favor of tracking him down, though!

kowtwow cleave
spellcheck absolutely highlighted that for me, and I definitely went "nope, that's correct." rip

Thanks for the review! Always good to hear from you. It sounds like you're in tune with where the story's going.

Blackjack

Read the first few chapters.

Quite an interesting premise. The way the narration seems to shift and be almost unreliable at points gives it a nice off-kilter feeling. The notion of the pokemon being so wary, knowing this isn't their trainer but some weird creature inhabiting their trainer, gives itself a sense of necessary detachment. Charizard especially, his emotions--anger, confusion, and grief especially--on finding out his trainer is dead but still somehow standing right in front of him, both himself and not himself, are very nicely depicted. It must be such a strange and surreal feeling to hear that your trainer is dead but this is your trainer, by name, and they could be someone else tomorrow. They could vanish just as easily tomorrow.
Thanks, I'm glad the emotions come across well. I wanted to have some more normal characters for the protagonist to play off of, to underline what a strange and distressing situation this all is.

And your previous story being called Little God...well that's just a reference to Ancient Mew isn't it? Little God Or Evil, the mysterious inscription on the card. What a suspicious thing to put on it...especially since it was never returned to and we know the effect the card ALONE once had.
It is! Something I'd definitely expect you to recognize. ;) The text on that card always fascinated me, and I wanted to play around a bit with the concept of Mew for this story in part because of that.

I like how you use full names, though I wonder what would happen if someone with that name read your story haha. Have you ever encountered that?
No one I know of! But there are definitely some in here that are reasonable enough that at least a few people out there must have them. I'd be tickled if that's happened to someone and they've simply never said.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for a lovely review!
 

TheGOAT

🗿
Location
Houston, Texas
Pronouns
Him/his
Partners
  1. serperior
  2. alolatales-goat
Author's Notes: This chapter is where the story really starts picking up. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 6

Nearly a month later, you are Grovyle and you are hiding, perched high above the ground and deep in obscuring leaves. Grovyle isn't the pokémon you're best at, although of course your version is still pretty good; they're mostly lanky legs and leaves, and you have no problem with those. It's the head that's tricky, much too oval where it should be flat and lizardy, teeth snaggly and crammed together in jaws not long enough for them. Heads are always difficult for you, since you can't change your brain too much without running into problems, and that means they can't get too small or too big or too weird-shaped. Even if Rockets are dumb, you don't think they'd mistake you for a regular grovyle, at least not if they saw your face.

Team Rocket--another reason you don't want to be seen. You've had more than enough of them for two lifetimes. If you're looking for dead people, though, they have a habit of leaving corpses in their wake. Seeking them out was a great idea, but it makes you more than a little nervous that it was Duskull who came up with it, and even more so that he was able to suggest a group who was actually planning to go out and kill somebody. Your friends do what they like, but you hadn't realized that Rocket-watching was one of Duskull's hobbies, and the cheerful unconcern he's treating this whole thing with isn't making you feel more comfortable.

"Duskull, I told you to wait back in town. It's dangerous." The ghost scuds away from you, gurgling laughter. When you lunge at him, he sinks back into the tree trunk and vanishes from sight. "I mean it," you hiss, as loudly as you dare. "Stay here."

No response. You hunch your shoulders and turn away, looking down on the humans below. On the one hand, it feels wrong to tell Duskull to go away when he was the one who led you to them in the first place. On the other, it is dangerous. You nudge the felt bag hanging around your neck, done up to look like bright powder. It actually holds your friends' pokéballs, including Duskull's, shiny and new. You could use it to stop him cold, if you could coax him back out of the tree, but you don't know if he would ever forgive you.

You glower at where the ghost used to be, then start at the sound of leathery wings nearby. You throw yourself belly-down on the branch, making yourself as small as possible, and curse Duskull twice over for distracting you. You turn your head slowly, ever so slowly, until you spot the source of the noise.

A golbat weaves her way through the trees, staying low to the ground and keeping to the shadows. You follow her with your eyes, taking some comfort in the erratic, preoccupied way she's flying.

The golbat sweeps into the little clearing where the teenagers are gathered, smoking and making forced conversation. They stir to attention while she circles one of the girls. "Come on, come on, let's move it," the bat calls. "I can hardly fly straight in this damn sun!"

"Looks like we're on, ladies and gents," the girl says with a grin met by uneasy silence. "Let's get this over with already." She turns to leave, and the rest of the group follows at a shamble, flicking cigarettes into the grass and taking half-hearted swipes at the golbat, who harries the stragglers with a constant stream of high-pitched complaints.

"Yes, yes, good work, I'll make sure Mark gives you a treat or something later," the girl says when the bat swoops back in her direction. "Lead the way already."

The golbat doesn't stop grumbling, but she takes off into the trees, and the humans are forced into a lope to keep her in sight. You shoot a last warning glare at the tree behind you, then take off after them.

For a few glorious minutes you lose yourself in the chase, racing branch to branch, alighting on one only long enough to push off to the next. The wind blows your leaves out behind you like pennants, the tiny hairs on their undersides registering minute changes in direction and speed as you sail along.

The humans come to a halt, and you nearly go sailing on past, lost in the rhythm of impact and soaring, larger concerns drifting nebulous and half-forgotten around the edges of your thoughts. But some fragment of intent remains, and you come to a neat stop before you can go too far, using your momentum to flip yourself up and around a branch, grasping with fingers and toes alike.

You fold into a defensive crouch, ready to move at the first sign of trouble. Below, the humans are discussing something with a boy who was waiting for them, now the primary target of the Golbat's whining.

"--no problem. Bastard won't know what hit him," the newcomer is saying, sweaty and out of breath but grinning nonetheless.

"Yeah, that's right, no need to thank me for dragging this pack of idiots over here for you," the golbat says, hovering so close her wingbeats stir the boy's hair. He ignores her with practiced ease. "Feel free to express your undying gratitude later. Maybe at night, or at least somewhere dark?"

"How long?" the lead girl asks.

"Dunno. Ten minutes at the inside. Even the freaking champion couldn't handle a pack of mankey that big in less than that."

"If he can handle it at all," pipes up another girl, to nervous snickering.

"Oh, come on, Sasha. You don't want the monkeys to have all the fun, do you?" the leader drawls. Then, raising her voice: "Spread out! Don't get comfortable. If we're lucky, there won't be much left of Nate after the mankey have been at him, but if there is, you do not want to be the one who let him get away. Mark, have your golbat scout."

The supersonic cry of exasperation comes even before Mark repeats the order to his pokémon. You wince and dig your claws deeper into the branch, but the humans don't react--they probably can't even hear it.

For all her griping, the golbat is a-wing immediately, and you have to wonder what could inspire such loyalty in the face of the hated sun. You glare down at the boy as he takes his place at the edge of the large, grassy clearing. Nothing good, you think. Nothing good.

The teenagers spread out below, ranging in a half-circle around the clearing. You try to calm down, casting a look around for Duskull. It helps a little that you see no sign of him, that at least he's probably safe, but anger roils your stomach as you think about the golbat and anxiety worries at your fraying nerves.

You sink back into the grovyle's hunting trance, letting the trappings of your human mind fall away until the wood takes on new texture beneath your fingers and the rich, sappy smell of the leaves around you blossoms into your awareness. You can see every twitch in the clearing's grass, and you sit and watch them, idly marking the passage of cloud-shadows over the ground, and think no more of anything but what is there before you. You can't remember what you're waiting for, but have vague faith that you'll know it when you see it.

And indeed, you stiffen when faint squeaks and wingbeats reach your ears. Your eyes narrow in confusion as you try to recall what they mean. By the time the golbat comes into view, you've remembered.

"All right, all right, he's coming!" the golbat grumbles to her trainer, dancing around him in tight circles. "Done with me now? Because if you send me off on another stupid errand, I'm probably going to end up hitting a tree or something."

"Recall that thing!" hisses the leader. "Everyone on your guard!"

Barely a minute later you hear two people smashing through the undergrowth on the far side of the clearing. They're taking even less care than humans usually do, and though they must be in full flight, they aren't moving all that fast. You sit up straighter and crane your neck, straining for a first glimpse of who you'll be for the next few weeks.

The first into the clearing is a mightyena, thick coat matted with blood, favoring a forepaw as she bounds into the open. She stops immediately on sight of the humans, snarling with teeth bared and mane bristling. Her trainer stumbles out of the trees a second later, chest heaving as he gasps for breath, and you feel a twinge of disappointment as you look him over. You hadn't been expecting much, but you'd hoped anyone important enough to get a hit put out on them would be at least halfway competent. All you see here is a young man in muddied, shredded clothing, face bloodied from a deep cut running across the bridge of his nose. He leans heavily against the mightyena, gaze roving the people assembled before him.

"Wha--" he starts, then thinks better of it, takes a deep breath, and tries to draw himself up straighter. The other humans step forward, all eagerness now. "Just what the fuck do you think you're doing, Jenna? This your idea of a joke, setting a whole fucking truckload of mankey on me while I'm fucking working?"

"Aww, what's this, now? The great Nathaniel Morgan running scared from a few angry monkeys?" Jenna says. You can only see the back of her head from here, but the smirk rings clear in her voice. The mightyena's growling redoubles, saliva frothing from her jaws to the grass below.

"Fuck you and your asshole friends, Jenna. Now get the hell out of my way unless you want to end up the same as the fucking mankey."

He makes as if to start forward again, the mightyena stalking ahead, but they both stop when Jenna unclips a pokéball from her belt and tosses it to herself. "So terribly sorry to detain you, your lordship," she says, with a bobbing parody of a curtsy, "but we're here on orders from someone even higher and mightier than yourself, if you can imagine that. See," and the mocking tone drains from her voice, leaving it all steel and malice, "Aiden isn't very pleased with the quality of your 'work.' In fact, he's thinking it has something to do with how the police have been doing a mighty good job of busting our suppliers lately and how half the jobs you work on go all pear-shaped. Because if there's one thing Aiden can't stand--that any of us can't stand, Nate--it's traitors."

"I ain't no fucking traitor!" the great Nathaniel Morgan roars over mutters of agreement from the lurking teenagers. "That's bullshit! And I'll shove it up Aiden's ass myself the second I get back to base. Unlike certain people I know, I don't need to send six pissant grunts to take care of my own goddamn business. Now get the hell out of my way, Jenna! Last fucking warning!"

"The reason Aiden sent so many of us after you, Nate, is because he overestimated you," Jenna says in a mock-soothing tone while the rest of her group starts to fan out, moving to surround the great Nathaniel Morgan. You can see his eyes darting around as he looks for an opening. "I mean, nearly losing to a bunch of wild mankey? Talk about disappoin--"

A yell of "Mightyena!" cuts her off. The dark-type surges towards Jenna while her trainer takes off sideways, trying to outrun the closing cordon of Rockets.

Jenna's only startled for a moment, and the mightyena, injured as she is, can't reach her before she casts her pokéball to the ground. "Let's go, Ursaring!"

You shrink closer to the tree trunk as the hulking normal-type appears, catching Mightyena across the face with a slash attack even as she leaps for him, sparks of energy still dancing in his half-solid fur. The attack sends Mightyena sprawling, and she does not rise. A second later she disappears in a flash of red light.

Meanwhile, one of the other humans calls out a sandshrew to intercept her trainer. The ground-type has no trouble catching the limping human and brings him down with a blow to the back of his knees. The sandshrew's trainer starts to give another command, but Jenna steps in. "Hold. Ursaring, make sure he doesn't run off again."

The big bear doesn't hurry, and its kind aren't known for their speed, but even so the great Nathaniel Morgan only barely makes it to his feet by the time the ursaring reaches him. Pathetic. The Rocket should be grateful he'll have you to carry on his name after he dies--at least you'll be able to lend it some small measure of dignity.

Certainly if it were you staring down nearly six feet of stony-faced bear, you wouldn't sneer up at him and say, "All right, you stupid piece of shit, let's see what you--"

The ursaring doesn't wait for him to finish, just grabs him by the shoulder and hurls him one-armed into the side of a tree. The normal-type turns a blank expression on his trainer, awaiting further orders.

The teenagers gather around their injured target, laughing and jeering as the ursaring steadily dismantles him, getting in the occasional kick of their own. The bear operates without apparent interest, a bored expression on his face, and you can't blame him. The whole process is really very dull; it's not as though the great Nathaniel Morgan is able to put up any kind of fight.

You zone out for a while, the sounds of the beating fading from your awareness as you think of nothing at all, spreading your leaves and quietly photosynthesizing. It's only when the ursaring is recalled and the humans close in around their victim that you bother paying attention again.

And as soon as you realize what they're up to, you come out of your lethargy with a shock of alarm. They're taking the great Nathaniel Morgan's wallet, his pokémon... his pokédex! It vanishes into the back pocket of one of the Rockets even as you watch. You stifle a growl. Of course they wouldn't leave it to rot out in the wilderness with the great Nathaniel Morgan's corpse. It's nearly as valuable to them as it is to you, and if you don't get it, this whole tedious excursion will have been for nothing.

But you can't just run down and grab it. You don't like your odds against six trainers, even Rockets, especially not if they have more pokémon like that ursaring. So. You need a distraction.

The group saunters back in your direction, laughing and talking amongst themselves. They stop and look up as a shadow passes across the sun, a meteor hurtling low over the forest. It rockets into the trees on the far side of the clearing with a rending crack and an impact that knocks two of the humans off their feet and showers the rest in leaves, twigs, and a surprised squirrel.

While blue flames burn themselves out in the resulting crater, you let out the loudest roar you can manage from a reconfigured throat, then crouch low against your branch as the humans' heads snap around in your direction.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Sounded like a... salamence? Salamence, right?"

"What would a salamence be doing way out here?"

Lightning strikes a tree near where the Rockets huddle, and they scatter to avoid a shattered bough that tears down through the canopy. You leap away, putting some distance between yourself and your old perch, and let out another roar, pitched just slightly higher. Then you freeze, wait until their eyes pass indifferent over your new hiding spot, and call quietly on the power of storms.

"Two of them?" wonders the boy who'd identified the salamence cry earlier.

"What are they, fighting?"

"I don't care if they're having a motherfucking church revival up there. We're getting out of here before we find out," Jenna says as dark clouds boil into existence overhead and rain begins to fall. She rubs at her cheek, where a flying piece of debris has scored a long cut.

"I can't see anything up there," says another girl, and you petulantly send the next thunder attack her way, just for that.

"No more talking! Everybody move!" Jenna barks after she's picked herself up again. "Nicholson! Where's Nicholson?"

"There are two salamence out there, and you're just going to run away from them?" asks the golbat's trainer.

"Look, Mark, if you want to go off and capture those salamence for the glory of Team Rocket and your paycheck, be my guest," Jenna says as she hauls a dazed girl back to her feet. "If you make it back alive, I'll recommend you for a promotion myself. But we gave Morgan what he deserved, so as far as I'm concerned, we're done here. Let's go, people."

She takes off running in the direction of Fuchsia, and most of the others follow her lead. Mark lingers a moment, staring up into the trees, then turns and follows after.

You lash out with a burst of telekinesis and hook the pokédex out of the thief's pocket, and it tumbles into the leaf litter, unnoticed in the scramble to escape. Then you wait a few minutes more, sending an idle draco meteor after the group, just to drive home the point. When the snapping and crashing sounds of the humans' flight have died away and tentative forest noises are returning, you dismiss the storm with a wave of your hand.

One great jump sets you down next to the pokédex, and you struggle to pry its cover off with clumsy reptilian fingers, too impatient to shift them back towards human. Then it's open and on, its screen glowing, and you start flicking through menus and calling up statistics, drinking in all there is to know about the life that is now yours. You're so engrossed that you don't even notice Absol until she nudges your shoulder.

You choke and drop the pokédex, twisting left and right as you look for some sign of trouble, the leaves at your wrists flaring in alarm. "Absol! What is it?" Maybe your little show attracted unwanted attention. If so, you don't see it yet.

"No. No danger to you. But that human is dying." She tips her head sideways, pointing with her blade, and for a second you aren't sure what she's talking about. Your gaze travels out across the clearing to where the ruined corpse of the great Nathaniel Morgan lies.

"But he's already--"

"He is not dead. He will be, soon. And he should not be." Absol gets up off her haunches, turns a tight, agitated circle, then sits down again. "It's not right." Up, circle, sit.

You slowly spread your leaves again, unease prickling in your gut. She's anxious. Absol is actually anxious. You've never seen her show emotion like this before, not even when the volcano was about to annihilate your world--even then, it was efficient professionalism to the last.

"Absol, what's going on? Why do you care what happens to that Rocket?"

"His death is not right, but I cannot prevent it. You are the only one who can." A muscle in her shoulder starts twitching, like she's trying to shake a fly, and she turns her head to bite at it.

"No I can't! I don't know how to save him. What do you want me to do?"

Absol turns back to you, though the twitch is still going. "You can heal him."

"Healing attacks only work on pokémon, Absol."

"They work on you, and you are not a pokémon."

"But I'm not a human, either! I don't know what they'll do to a human. I've never tried it before. It might just make things worse!" You regret the stupid words the instant they leave your mouth.

Absol glares at you, so venomous you actually flinch away and half raise your hands to shield your face. "You are whining. At the least you can try. Quickly. Now!"

She lunges at you, and you take off in a stumbling run. Out of the trees, across the clearing--the scent of blood is thick in your nostrils as you come to a stop by the wreck of a human. Absol follows, her gaze stern, then stops and bends to scratch a sudden itch on her leg with her blade.

Dismay tightens your chest as your life-sense tells you that Absol is right. The Rocket isn't dead, but he will be, and soon. You glance at Absol, and she stares back, all twisty-sideways as she tries to deal with the itch at the same time. You look down at your patient, and the cold fear in your gut knots tighter. The ursaring was very thorough. You can only begin to guess at all the injuries the man's sustained. It would probably be easier to count the number of bones left intact than the ones that got broken.

Another pleading glance at Absol receives only a stony, meaningful look in response, so you do your best to quash your fear as you raise your hands in front of your face. Energy surges down your arms, pouring blinding white from your fingertips and gathering between your hands. As you force more energy into the attack, the mass grows, pushing your palms apart until it's roughly the size of a chicken egg.

You roll the soft-boiled into your left hand and give it a quick glance over, fighting the wave of exhaustion trying to drag you to your knees. The attack looks fine, faintly glowing through a thin, gelatinous shell. Fine, but also fleeting; if you don't get this into the Rocket in the next half-minute or so, it will collapse in on itself and fall inert.

You lean over the man and use your free hand to pull open what's left of his jaw. You drop the soft-boiled in his mouth and slam it shut again, not troubling to be gentle; a little extra damage won't make much difference at this point, and it would be far worse to let any of the soft-boiled's energy escape. Then you sit back on your haunches and watch the Rocket with Absol at your shoulder, waiting for your attack to do whatever it's going to do: heal the human, or burn through his veins and annihilate the last of his spark. Or maybe nothing at all.

It doesn't take long. After a few seconds you can see the soft-boiled working, some of the Rocket's minor cuts disappearing, deeper ones starting to clot and scab. All well and good, but his more serious injuries are barely touched, and you slump a little as you realize, half a moment before Absol says it aloud: "That is not enough."

It's no good arguing now that you've committed to the work. You flex your fingers, which prickle with faint, itching pain, then draw them up in one swift, determined motion, already sending energy racing down your arms. This time, you really do stagger, panting, as the soft-boiled takes shape, but your motions are quick and sure as you feed it to the great Nathaniel Morgan--after all the effort that's gone into making it, you can't afford to slip up and drop the thing.

With the soft-boiled secured, you release your focus and slump to the ground, gasping for air and digging your burning fingers deep into the cool dirt. And still it isn't enough. The human is like a black hole, sucking up all your energy and tossing it into the void. You meet Absol's stern gaze and force yourself upright to perform the attack a third time.

And that does it. The Rocket isn't restored, no; he still looks as though he's taken a beating, albeit a less severe one. But he is no longer dying, and at the moment you think that's the best Absol can ask for. You're not sure you could manage another soft-boiled even if you had to.

"Watch him," you say to Absol, too tired to keep the bite of anger out of your voice. "I'll do more later. Now I need to sleep."

Absol hesitates, then bows her head in a brief nod. "Thank you." You grunt and stagger a couple of steps away, then collapse into sudden, heavy slumber.

--​

You wake ravenous, arms and fingers aching to the bone. The rest of you is sore and weakish, stirring memories of flu from a whole lifetime ago. But mostly you're hungry, and the big lump of bloody human lying so nearby, faintly breathing, isn't helping.

Absol is stretched out next to the great Nathaniel Morgan, watching patiently as you gather yourself. You half want to slide back into a doze, but the hunger is too insistent. "The least you could do after all that is get me something to eat," you growl at Absol without lifting your head from the grass.

To your immense surprise, she doesn't reprimand you for being rude. She actually rises and says, "I suppose." Then she steps sideways into drifting leaf-shade and vanishes. You find yourself looking at nothing but empty air, deprived of anyone to gripe at. A few seconds later you let out a warbling yell of exasperation and roll onto all fours, sparing only a passing glance for the Rocket. He's not going anywhere.

You find the pokédex lying where you dropped it earlier, in that flash of panic when Absol started going crazy. You shake your head as you pick the machine up, brushing a bit of dirt off its cover. You shouldn't have given her the excuse to leave. She might have actually told you what was up if you'd been quick enough to ask, but by the time she gets back you're sure she'll have come up with some evasion or other.

Your spirits improve once you actually manage to concentrate on the pokédex's data. It comes loaded with six badges--six! Two more than you'd even dared hope for, and more still than you'd really expected to find. From what you've seen of the great Nathaniel Morgan's abilities, you never would have expected he'd had success on the gym circuit.

Your gaze slides back to the convalescent Rocket, and unease stirs in your chest. How long is it going to take him to heal? If you're going to be using his identity, you can't just let him wander around free. He might tell someone about your plans. On the other hand, you don't want to drag a half-dead human along on your journey, either. The inconvenience could easily outweigh the boon of badges you hadn't expected to have.

Before you can wallow too deeply in melancholy thoughts, Absol steps out of the shade with the food she promised, a rabbit dangling from her teeth. She sets it neatly on the ground in front of you, then watches without expression as you grab it up and toss your head back, swallowing it down in one quick motion. There's a funny sliding feeling as your jaw unhinges to let it pass through whole, and then it's sitting heavy in your stomach, awaking lizardy instincts to crawl off somewhere and digest.

You can only manage a "thank you" for Absol before you succumb to the urge to rest, scaling the nearest tree and seeking a sunny spot along a branch to settle yourself in. There you relax into a digestive stupor, leaves flared to catch the light and mind gone dozy and distant.

"Are you just going to go back to sleep?" You blink, shake your head, look down at Absol. She's up on her hind legs, paws braced against the tree trunk, and is staring up at you.

"What?"

"I don't understand why you are sitting around doing nothing. I thought you wanted to hurry."

You shake yourself again and try to gather your thoughts. They're none too charitable, now that your rest has been interrupted. "I did, Absol, but then you decided you wanted me to babysit some Team Rocket member I hoped was going to die. There's no point trying to hurry now. I can't go anywhere until he at least wakes up."

"You're being petulant." Absol lets go of her grip on the tree with a snick of claws, then starts to pace around its base. "If it means so much to you, you can go out and find another for your scheme. You have no reason to linger here."

"Absol, I don't have the time to get anybody else. It took weeks to find this one, Duskull got lucky in the end."

It had been much, much harder than you'd expected. Isn't training supposed to be dangerous? Trainers on TV face peril every day, and there's never any shortage of murders to fuel your favorite crime dramas. You thought there'd be plenty of lives for the taking if you were willing to do a little leg work--honestly, you'd been surprised you hadn't encountered any murders in what time you'd spent around humans already.

But no amount of following children into the wilderness yielded results, and you'd been forced to flee from a trainer's pokémon twice. Checking dumpsters for discarded bodies hadn't gone over any better. Weeks passed, and all you accomplished was to drive Absol to icy uncommunication with your nagging. "I cannot say when simply any human is going to die," she said--repeatedly, you have to admit. "If I could, then I would be on constant alert. I can only sense the fate of those whose lives are twined with mine--and the more distant the connection, the weaker my awareness."

It wasn't fair that she wouldn't help, especially because it was her own fault that you were scrounging for another body in the first place. Absol and her stupid rules.

None of your old souls were suitable. You needed someone new, someone no one, or at least no one connected with the League, knew was dead. Someone who'd perished in an out-of-the-way place and wouldn't be discovered for a couple of weeks. You hadn't thought that too much to ask. All you needed was for some human to walk into a convenient ravine and die--how unlikely could that be? In the end you'd found someone--well, Duskull had--and of course, Absol had come along to ruin that, too, babbling something about Fate like always.

"If you do not have time, then perhaps it would be better to abandon this nonsense. There is no reason for you to take another's life for your piece of folly. You can go to the Plateau as some imagined person, and I will see to it that you find your brother."

You already pointed out challengers need a valid license, and only challengers have access to the trainer's village where the Champion will be staying. And there's no point getting to the Plateau early, since there's nothing you can do until he arrives anyway. It only makes sense to spend your extra time to make getting to him easier.

But Absol's heard all this before, and you don't expect her to change her mind. The truth is, none of these is the real reason, and she knows it. "It's not nonsense, and I know I don't need to, Absol. I want to, and I want you to either tell me why you have a problem with it or stop getting in my way."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I see no reason to stop you from entering the tournament if you want. That does not mean I think it is a good idea. How am I getting in your way?"

"This... That. What's up with this guy?" You gesture to the great Nathaniel Morgan. "Absol, I've never seen you act like that before. You almost seemed... scared."

Absol turns her stare on the unconscious Rocket. "Him? He has nothing to do with anything. But we must always try to prevent the world turning aside from Fate, no matter how small the transgression." She pauses, then shakes her head, as if to drive away an insect.

"Absol, you're doing it again. Come on, I know it isn't nothing. You were acting all funny." A thought occurs to you. "Or is it not about this at all? Is it something else?" An icy certainty freezes your bones as you start to realize: "You--you're not sick or something, are you?"

Absol snorts and says, "Of course not. You are being foolish. There is nothing wrong."

Of course there isn't. Cold and shaky, you stammer out, "Absol, why won't you tell me what's going on? You're scaring me."

Absol tips her head to the side and stares at you, and you realize in a flash of exasperated relief that she's genuinely puzzled. Then she leans forward and gives you a quick nudge on the shoulder with her nose. "Well. I did not mean to frighten you. I'm sorry, but it really is nothing. Nothing you need to worry about."

"But you were worried about it. Why were you worried?"

Absol turns away from you, so quick you think she must have seen something out in the forest and jerk around to stare yourself. But she's just looking blankly at the trees, thinking. After a few seconds her claws tighten in a death-clutch on the earth, and she says slowly, distantly, "I cannot explain it to you. It was a shadow on the water's face. I saw it. I don't know how to explain it. That is what it was. A shadow on the water's face."

"And that's... bad."

"Yes." She turns back to you and gives you another bump on the shoulder. "But you stopped it, like I asked you to. So it is nothing to worry about. And thank you for helping."

You catch her before she can pull away again and hug her around the neck while she tries to wiggle out of your grip. "That's okay. I just wish you could tell me what was going on. Do you think another one of those water... face... darkness things is going to happen?"

She tops shaking out her mane and stares at you, then says slowly, "That depends on you." When all she receives in response is a perplexed look, she elaborates, "Because the water doesn't have a face unless you're looking into it."

"Absol, if you meant 'reflection,' you should have just said it."

She gets a faraway look and thinks again for a minute. "Would you have understood what I meant if I had?"

You have to admit it's still way too metaphorical. "No."

Absol nods briefly. "Better to call it what it is, then," she says. "Now, I must be going. Whatever you choose from here, you have done well." She turns aside.

"Absol, wait. I still need to sleep. I need you to stay here and watch--" But she steps into shadow and out of sight, and you're left talking to a shaft of sunlight falling between the leaves overhead.

You snort and turn away. Aches are creeping back into your joints, a fog settling over your mind as your body demands you rest. For you, it's a safe enough proposition; not so much for the human. You cast him a resentful glare. He's already attracting flies, and if something larger and hungrier arrives while you're distracted, all the effort you went to in saving his life will be wasted.

As a sludgy haze of lethargy descends over your mind, you decide it's an acceptable risk. It's not like you really want him to stay alive--just the opposite, actually. If Absol doesn't want something scavenging him, then she can show up to stop it herself.

Feeling sluggishly, vindictively satisfied with that, you make your heavy way back up the tree and out onto a branch, and let yourself slip into blissful uncaring for several hours more.

--​

You return to yourself in late evening, prodded back to alertness by insistent cramps and, again, the demands of your stomach. The sun is sunk behind the trees, their shade gone deep and cold, and the cloud tatters overhead are tinted a blushing pink. You close your eyes and stretch, luxuriating in the feeling of being returned to full strength.

Meanwhile, the Rocket's still unconscious, lying in exactly the same attitude as you left him. He isn't dead, you're disappointed to see. But he's acquired a new companion.

You jump down from your perch and rush across the clearing. "Duskull, Duskull!" The red glow of the ghost's eye rolls in your direction while the rest of his body bobs in place. "There you are. Where'd you go off to, then?"

The ghost grumbles something barely audible and drifts in your direction, eye roving back and forth in his skull. "Thank you for not following me earlier. I told you, Duskull, you shouldn't hang around near Team Rocket. It's dangerous. What if one of them saw you?"

Duskull grumbles and scoots away from you, waving his tendrils dismissively. You shake your head. It's an old argument, and not one you have the patience for right now. Instead you look down at the Rocket, considering.

"This is so stupid. He looks exactly the same as he did this morning." You know it takes longer for humans to heal than pokémon--much longer, even. But you think he should have at least woken up by now. Prodding him with a toe yields no response. Duskull watches as you select a finger you can tell is broken and lean your weight on it. Not even a twitch. If the Rocket is playing dead, he's an incredible actor. You let out a hiss of disgust and flop to the ground next to the man, staring at him through the frame of your knees. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

Duskull gurgles quietly. "Yes, this is the guy they were going to kill. But of course, they're Rockets, so they managed to screw it all up, and then Absol made me heal him for some stupid reason, and now he's just lying there." You spread your hands in exasperation.

Duskull watches the early night-insects investigating the great Nathaniel Morgan's wounds for a bit. Then his eye turns to you, and he mutters something half to himself.

"No, Duskull. I told you I don't want you hanging around those guys." The chirp of crickets fills your pause. "I mean, you don't know if... they have a hit out on anybody else right now?"

Duskull wags his body side to side. "Then no. It's too dangerous." For a while the two of you remain in silent contemplation of the human. Then you push back to your feet with a gusty sigh. "Look, you mind watching him for me? I don't think he'll go anywhere, but I don't want anything to come along and eat him, you know?"

Duskull's only response is to retreat most of the way into the tree trunk over the Rocket's head, only the red orb of his eye floating outside it, his skull mask nothing more than a suggestive whorl in the tree's bark. "Thanks," you say, then close your eyes in brief concentration, jumping back to the abandoned building where you hid your supplies.

From there another thought takes you back to the clearing, where you unroll the sleeping bag you packed more out of a sense of obligation than anything--you don't mind sleeping on the ground--and drape it over the great Nathaniel Morgan. You don't relish the idea of trying to get him inside it, so you decide he'll simply have to deal with being cold. If it bothers him so much, he can always wake up and climb in himself. After that, you seek out a couple birds to take the edge off your hunger, then become Charmeleon, the warmth of your fire sac and the flame burning on your tail driving back the chill of the late-summer night.

You take one last look at the great Nathaniel Morgan, Duskull's eye hanging over him like a ruddy night-light, and have to stifle a hot surge of irritation. If he doesn't wake by morning, you'll try one more soft-boiled on him. If that fails, he'll be on his own and you'll look to your other, dwindling options. With that resolved, you settle down in a nest of leaf litter, curled in around the flame on your tail, and sleep.

Ahh, I missed this prose from Blacklight. The beginning of chapter 1 was fairly disorienting for the first dozen paragraphs or so, but frankly even that part of the read was pleasant enough for it to not matter — or, perhaps, enough for me to cling onto each word closely enough to catch the finer details, preventing the degree of confusion that would come with skimming. Your style captures a wide range of description and blends it together well, tapping into senses when describing the river and cavern and how sharp and almost low-key it is when describing the “changing” of skin (at first I thought it was literally a skinwalker technique but later realized it was just Transform, probably). It often feels like your prose teeters on the edge of purple, but never seems to actually cross that threshold toward being unnecessary or jarring. Very refreshing.

I think this is what turns the overall vagueness of most of the first chapter into a positive for me (or at least a neutral matter) rather than a negative. I tend to prefer when authors strike a pretty even balance between setting the stage right away and not being too expository. Salvage’s first chapter doesn’t rush to explain itself, but by the end of it (which isn’t super long!) it’s pretty clear what happened to the trainer and the child on a fundamental level while leaving plenty of questions unanswered. The Absol in particular is… bizarre. One way or another this is a great start, and a solid point of reference for how to begin a story that’s meant to have fairly vague introductory material.

Chapter 2 better establishes what the first main conflict of the story will be: Nick’s impersonator faking it ‘til he makes it. I appreciate how immediately compelling this is; it’s the sort of tension that doesn’t really require many chapters of setup or even character development to have happened prior. It’s just implicit tension, so the characters — two Pokémon deserving of onscreen names, in this case — can introduce themselves to the audience while it’s happening. Admittedly I wish the narration was more willing to divulge in explicit terms the species of those characters. When you reveal that Rats has whiskers, for example, there could still be dozens of species that fit that description, and after several paragraphs of guessing it inevitably gets a bit tiresome waiting for hard confirmation.

Want to take a moment to appreciate the line “It can be hard to remember who you are, sometimes.” The child’s introspection gives it such a casual, thoughtful tone, and the context from chapter one gives it a considerably darker undertone. Really sells the child as, at best, a callous liar. Loving it.

Second person is such a fascinating choice of POV here because of the premise itself. The first chapter isn’t in second person until the end, when it makes it clear the narration is “talking” to Nick. Almost like the story was written to tell him about the fate of his corpse, of the version of himself that isn’t really him. Really fucked when you stop and think about it, but mainly I just wanted to give kudos for taking a normally-defunct writing perspective and make it not only work, but in a way that’s tied directly to the beats of the story.

The child musing about the newspaper being boring and picking up silver linings (e.g. the ads being “fun”) is a nice reminder that they are, indeed, a child. One capable of doing morally reprehensible things of course, but still a child, which is honestly even more terrifying than if they were written to be older. Everyone knows children have the best judgment!

I really dig the personification of Cinnabar as this island desperately clinging to the phantom of its past identity, before the eruption. The offhanded mention of Blaine, the lab of old and new, the quiet streets and vacant rooms… paradoxically it makes the world feel more lived in, even though the point is that Cinnabar itself is somewhat abandoned. I can only imagine this is what it’s like for a town in the months following all-out war on its streets.

Adding to the eerieness of the child being… well, a child, is the comparison of a Pokedex to a soul, done so matter-of-factly. What a completely baffling equivalency. But it tracks! The child literally cannot prove their identity reliable without it; even if making conversation, they’re playing imposter with a set of memories that isn’t their own. This feels like the sort of problematic conclusion an actual child would reach in this position, having played this game however many times before.

The panic at the Pokémon center when the computer wouldn’t give the Pokedex back had me dying. I’m looking for a real-life analogy for this and I’m drawing a blank, so in that case what a hell of a precedent to set for how to react in this situation. The detail of a couple of bystanders sending out their Pokemon on instinct was great.

So it seems clear that the child is searching for specific Pokémon… War, Titan, Thunder, Rats (one of these names is not like the others ahaha). No comment on that yet, but becoming the walking dead is a mind-bending way to go about pursuing your goals. It’s the sort of directed evil that’s compelling and honestly not hard to root for as an observer of a fictional storyline. To be blunt I think the child is a terrible person/creature for what they’re doing, for how they invaded the Kerrigan home and attacked Leonard, or at least brought up under very poor principles regarding the respect and value of life, but… I honestly hope they succeed at whatever it is they’re doing. I dread the outcome but want the payoff.

As a side note I’m giggling at the acknowledgment that if the child changes the size of their head too much (by transforming into certain species, for instance), it affects their brain unfavorably and they start “running into problems.” I’m assuming this is all happening with some high-level application of the move Transform…

Anyway, chapter 6 is indeed where the story seems to pick up with Nate. His dialogue is terrific, as always. And his introduction is getting beat up on suspicion of treachery, but seemingly without hard proof, no less (but it also sounds like they had reason enough to suspect, which tracks). I frankly think this adds to the growing pile of war crimes committed against young trainers in this world, except this time it actually is a war crime and not just slipping and falling, or suicide—it’s clearly a dangerous world. Makes me wonder what the mortality rate is for trainer-age teenagers/young adults.

I enjoyed the bit near the end of chapter 6 where the child drapes a blanket over Nate. The child had to heal him because it was Absol’s wishes — or I suppose, the wishes of “Fate”, whatever that is (supplement for Absol’s disaster sense? But then what is that?) — but Absol was not there to advocate for Nate’s health at that moment. The child’s intent is still clearly to complete their nebulous mission, but this feels like the first step on a journey to learning empathy, and maybe eventually recognizing the true weight of death. If so, the retrospect should be fun.

Although… Absol’s not exactly helping either, imo. It’s tough since the narration confirms she and the child tried to communicate about Fate in good faith once, but couldn’t effectively do so since their interpretations of the world around them are clearly too different in some fundamental way. Sort of like trying to explain sight to someone who has never been able to see, maybe. So some slack is deserved. But she still didn’t even try to elaborate on why Nate in particular couldn’t be left to die like all the others… just that it “wasn’t right.” It’s clearly not a common occurrence for her to step in like this, so choosing this moment to abandon the effort to explain herself and then lash out at the child for their understandably bewildered reaction didn’t reflect favorably on Absol’s personal relationship with the child — something that has already built up to one of the story’s biggest mysteries prior.

For that reason and many others, I’m enjoying this a lot so far! I appreciate how digestible the chapters are and I’ll likely return for more sometime.
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
Right, gonna dig myself out of this backlog properly before once again falling into the trap of needing to play coy with what I’ve been reading, the real villain of zoroark games lol. I would like to open this review by saying that I never in a million years thought I’d be trying to write unironic analysis for “Mewtwo’s picnic tantrum”, but here we are, it’s good to be back baybee.

Chapter 47
Orre! I really appreciate how efficiently you convey the broad strokes of the setting here–there’s no pokemon, that’s part of what’s weird, but that’s also why it’s weird. The Child’s tendency to blend actual fiction/rumor with reality works really well here; Orre does feel like one of those settings in the pokemon world where the cryptid conspiracy theories actually feel founded, and as always it’s a nice bit of levity to have the child yearning for the real bikes, you know, like they have in the movies. I remember writing in my z-games notes that you don’t spend a lot of time scene-setting, which I think is true–it’s just that it’s dazzlingly efficient, passing by the desolate wastes, the mountains rising against the sky, the jagged lines of the factory cutting against it. Especially with the depictions of unsettling emptiness/quiet I was reminded a lot of just meandering through Death Valley, which, yeah, mood.

Mewtwo continues to be a highlight, especially after being relatively absent from the previous few chapters. I’m always tickled by role-reversal character dynamics; now it’s the Child running around and flapping its arms at these pointless displays of power, begging for caution, we can’t just wake people up in the middle of the night they might not like us especially if we dress up as their dead son. Luckily, as the Child knows, this is the most effective way to stop someone from doing this!

Speaking of character growth, I really liked how elegantly the Child’s plan for finding Mew plays out–I think it’s hard to show someone thinking of an idea that no one’s ever thought of before, at the risk of “electric type moves??? On my flying types??? In this economy???”, especially since the Child is not Known for making good decisions, but this feels both like a natural thing they would leap to, and something that no one else really would. And it brings us the Musketeers so hey.

I love Rats in this! Fortunately on re-re-reread I have the excruciating benefit of knowing that yeah, “simply try not letting Mewtwo intimidate you” is great advice that the Child will execute perfectly.

He knows exactly how you feel. *Here we are, in your "Orre." You will tell me of it. We will plan. I suggest you not make me wait."
Dropped some formatting here.

Chapter 48
As someone who mostly writes fanfiction of fanfiction at this point, I’m continually impressed by how much of canon you preserve, and how you juggle keeping the core elements and theming while also making it feel grounded. The purification chamber is something that feels so game mechanic-y that I was surprised to see a wholehearted take on it here, but I think the music therapy angle works well. And, hey, it’s not like the Child is going to demand, or even listen to, any amount of detailed explanation for how any of this makes scientific sense. The flipside explanations for what being shadowed mean that come in later chapters, especially in talking to Hypno, provide a nice bit of backing, and also drive home the truth in the Child’s initial idea that just talking to the shadow pokemon would probably shed a lot of insight on things. Deeply tickled by the videogame vs fic resolution for “but how did all the bad guys just vanish overnight”--in the games it’s, yay, the credits rolled and the day is saved (but also buy our sequel pls?? shhh); in the fic, huh, the police force that’s been non-existent when Lugia kidnaps a yacht continues to not be the paradigm of day-saving, lol. Krane sheepishly admitting to massaging the details of his research to get grant funding, Relic Stone as a tourist attraction, master balls being seen as ??? why do you have one of these, are also great little nuggets of worldbuilding. I continue to be deeply excited to see if Miror B shows up.

This chapter reminded me of why I really liked Hypno’s addition to the group dynamic–this fic is full of people just sort of seizing the plot and wrenching it in a certain direction, but Hypno’s one of the most level-headed of them, at least. I completely forgot that she canonically communicates in wheezy-honks tho, my god. The sleep-pathologist-in-training detail is delightful–it’s one of those things that doesn’t feel necessary to the plot in a barebones way, but helps give the sense of agency/background character to everyone involved.

The Relic Stone bit is also really fun. One of the interesting things about this story is how far the totem pole goes, and how people tend to end up humbled + show their true colors by running into something more powerful than them. That Celebi doesn’t even appear when casually undoing everything really drives this home imo. And lol, the Child pouting while Absol consoles Mewtwo is another fun bit of role-reversal.

Anyway, looking forward to Red showing up again and the child throwing a sick dance party for everyone.

Chapter 49
It’s so sad to watch Rats trying to fight the good fight this fic, especially knowing how the next ten or so chapters go. It’s also really hard for me to separate her obstinately trying to fix things with Raticate in the tournament finals having beef with fellow-but-genetically-predisposed-rat-pikachu–some people are just always going to steal my heart by being stubborn underdogs. Or underrats, I guess. I also really like how this plays so deeply into the Child’s mistakes–it wants to have its cake and eat it too, it doesn’t want to compromise; so of course Rats and Titan and everyone else are going to walk around Orre in public. There’s so much of people really not wanting to see the unfortunate writing on the wall of what certain power structures mean for certain people, and then of course so much of the wall slapping in the face for their efforts.

All of this contrasts really nicely with the Musketeers imo; they have this sort of casual nonchalance that’s been a little absent in the fic since Nate’s crew left that’s really fun. Noctowl is owed his ice cream, goddammit. They’re so delightfully foreign to both the Child and Mewtwo. And like yeah sure they’re really signing up for this awful pact with Mewtwo, and they’re oblivious to the extent of the stakes here, which makes it so much more fun when they start having board game nights and tours and shit. It’s also really lovely to see Rats all “c’mon, weren’t you gonna show us around”--there’s a lovely little AU where these guys are all just foreign exchange students having a nice time in Orre and trying all the drugs or whatever, and Mewtwo is the kawaii but broody transfer student.

I also liked the implication/acknowledgement that a lot of the people who had shadow pokemon weren’t strictly with Cipher. It’s another weird thing that doesn’t get fully addressed by the games–did any of those trainers notice? Did they care?--that gets a lot of grounding here, especially with Hypno.

Chapter 50
The little details of beer and popcorn while watching the fights in this chapter are really fun–at first it makes things seem casual, and grounded, and like hey this is just like watching teeball, which is also why when the fights start escalating into actual violence it feels much more mesmerizing and horrific, how these “little cruelties” manifest. The crowd’s response answers the question of “did anyone notice they had shadow pokemon” with, I think “but did anyone care”, which really makes all of this unsettling. And it’s nice to see the Child off-put by this, thinking that fighting isn’t about this–when there’s an outside voice to be skeptical about the accepted violence, it makes it more clear that training/fighting isn’t really supposed to be about this to them (both to trainers and to pokemon just slugging it out for fun), which I think is an important distinction to draw in a fic that’s both about a super-abused clone/cohort of shadow pokemon and a bunch of very sweet, personal pokemon/trainer relationships trying to navigate a world that doesn’t always treat them as equals.

Luckily the Child handles things super well and it’s good that Rats doesn’t need to get involved. The disassociation bits get a lot heavier in the upcoming chapters, but it’s really sad to watch how the Child needs to lean into these things–and how easily it gets led into these things, how much it trusts that Mewtwo is just going to wipe Divel’s memory and will totally not just butcher yet another human, Mewtwo would never! It’s in nice contrast to Rats fighting the good fight over and over again–the Child kind of continuously fails to recognize when there’s even a fight to be had, which, oof. And it’s in really nice contrast to the fact that Rats actually had a good plan here, and Mewtwo honestly might’ve kept his word if he’d been allowed to follow his plan from the start, and it’s possible the fact that the Child tried to juggle both is why neither plan ended up working out. Mewtwo ends up providing the third answer to “did anyone notice they had shadow pokemon”, which is the one I’d been waiting for him to pull tbh, though it’s certainly not a happy one.

Chapter 51
“it made him funny” is a nice way to say “dead”. Rats continuing to fight the good fight ;-; and this time it’s probably also involving making sure the Child understands morality, which tbh, yeah, is the longest character arc in this fic, so that all checks out. “Not like [Absol]’s going to do anything about [throwing away Mewtwo’s master ball]” really got me the first time, lol; I’m so used to Rats being the bastion of reason that I really did take this at face value, for what it’s worth.

Tsudnere Mewtwo is also such a gem–friendship is one of those pesky things you can’t just muscle your way into, and it’s kinda comically endearing-slash-fucked to watch him pretend to be absolutely indifferent nd nonchalant towards Hypno and Noctowl’s lame boring picnics, anyway, when’s the next one? Will there be fish? It’s a delightful B-plot that also backs up the main plot–Mewtwo and the Child running headlong into a bunch of issues that can’t be solved with violence; one of them is that the new kids at school aren’t impressed at my treatise that television rots your brain and we live in a society and also i’m not good at swimming; the other is that Team Rocket has a bunch of bazookas. The pivot to Orre definitely isn’t something I saw coming, but is one that works really well here; shadow pokemon are a metal af concept and you do great things with them, but the post-shadow pokemon are also really great to bounce off of Mewtwo and the Child. Hypno’s the first person to really get Mewtwo, and I think that works so well narratively.

The disassociation bits are also really fun. I’m reminded, rip, of Ender’s Game--how Ender’s so good at doing the most war crimes because he has both the empathy to understand how his enemies will react and the non-empathy to murder the shit out of them anyway, that one line from ages ago about how psychics need to close themselves off when hunting because the same thing that makes them good at finding prey makes them bad at killing it. “They think they’re the real one” is such a good line of dialogue, gosh.

Chapter 52
Surprising no one, this was probably my favorite chapter in a series of a lot of really good chapters.

Absol’s confusion at both the Child and Mewtwo is a lovely counterpoint to them running into problems they can’t solve with violence (since they certainly try to solve these problems with violence nonetheless, rip). Same, girl, same. It’s also one of those things that puts her nicely at odds with Hypno and Rats–in later chapters we know that she’s also suffered and lost, but she’s removed herself so far from this loss that she’s unable to really comprehend the people who haven’t, to the point that she’s incapable of understanding why obviously-well-adjusted Mewtwo would just go around axing all the people he’s angry at.

I’m also a huge sucker for characters that have obviously suffered a lot of violence but have managed to come to peace with it, and also enormous dinosaurs that do tender art projects, so, yeah, this is a good fic please update more. I think this is something uniquely you but also really cool–conveying the themes of the story by way of the talking characters not being able to understand them.

Perhaps once she is no longer being imprisoned and tortured I can turn my attention to such entertaining tasks as learning to make friends.*
Haven't you ever wished you could simply snap your fingers—click you teeth, perhaps—and fix something?*
Dropped a bit of formatting here
 
Partners
  1. skiddo-steplively
  2. skiddo-px2
  3. skiddo-px3
  4. skiddo-iametrine
  5. skiddo-coolshades
  6. skiddo-rudolph
  7. skiddo-sleepytime
  8. snowskiddo
  9. skiddotina
  10. skiddengo
  11. skiddoyena
Hello! Back again for my extremely sporadic reviews. Figured I might as well go ahead and review 57 since I'm reading it now, even though you very rudely didn't tell me about it. But it's gotten me to shake off the rust and say something more than "gud fic upd8 moar", so I guess you win this time... absus emoji, fistshake, etc., etc..

I have to admit, when Eskar jumped out at the child at the end of 56 and finally reminded me to work on your birthday gift I wasn't expecting a full-on Rocket attack; I guess I figured she'd just come looking to strike a deal with the child itself! But then, she's not stupid enough to go someplace where Mewtwo's likely running around free without accounting for him. Still, it'll be interesting to see why she really decided she wanted to be part of this particular recovery mission...

The shift back from cold pokémon-logic child to imaginative human-logic child was interesting to watch. I hadn't really registered before that there was that big a disconnect in the two personalities' experiences/memories rather than just the way they processed a given situation; it's almost like the human-child blacked out or lost time until the memories eventually came back. Am I right in vaguely remembering something in an earlier chapter about that disconnect becoming more prominent because the child was spending more time in pokébrain-form, or am I just making that up? Either way, fun times for the child when it starts to remember all the murder self-defense. Wonder if there'll ever come a point where pokébrain-child feels like it needs to deliberately suppress some horrific thing it did because allowing humanbrain-child to recall it might really hurt it screw something up. Or, perhaps, deliberately encourage it to remember something. :P

"No! Spies are real. If Kanto was going to send spies, this is when they'd do it."

ah, yes, the problem with that suggestion is the idea that spies are totally fantastical,

Love how easily the Musketeers are able to both read and flummox Mewtwo, as always. Poor baby's just nervous after his Rocket scare and needs some company except no he totally isn't don't be stupid but I mean you can stay if you want, just if you want, that's fine I guess.

*I have evaded Team Rocket many times already, and I will do so again. And when I've found my mother, we will destroy them, and all the rest like them, however long that may take."

Telepathy formatting oopsie. This is the first time Mewtwo's talked about what he wants to do when they actually find Mew, isn't it? Can't help but wonder whether she would actually be interested in taking the time to wipe out the rest of the Rockets. Certainly you couldn't blame her if she did! There's probably some vengefulness somewhere in that little god. But I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't know as much about his mom as he thinks he does.

*It wasn't pokémon that turned this place to desert. Can you imagine it? A world where humans are only a myth... It would be beautiful, wouldn't it?"

...

Obviously, yes. If there were no humans, they wouldn't be able to hurt any* pokémon. That's been my point all along."

Few more.

aaaaaaaa Hypno is such a good. Impressive how she knows to avoid arguing "it's wrong to kill all the humans", which would make Mewtwo more upset but also isn't the root of the issue anyway. (And then of course he chooses to pretend that "don't kill the humans" is in fact the only thing she's arguing for up until he can't anymore.)

Really, "what next?" is my favorite mewtwo-related question, what happens after escaping, what happens after revenge, and it's neat to see Mewtwo confronted with it here. Maybe one day he will figure out an actual answer! But today is not that day. (Somehow I suspect Mewtwo's going to wind up in some version of that conversation with Krane, whether or not he wants to. Whether or not Krane wants to, for that matter.)

I enjoy the dynamic the Musketeers add to the story—I have pretty much ever since they showed up, but this chapter really hits why. Sometimes I wonder whether they're oblivious to how dangerous Mewtwo could be to them or if they really are just that unafraid (or perhaps that willing to believe that there's a reasonable person deep down under all those scars that he totally doesn't have what are you talking about). It hits different from the way, say, Rats acts around Mewtwo, definitely well aware of what he can do but making a point of pushing through it to do what she considers right. Especially after this chapter I think I've gotta stick with the latter, heh. Whatever the case, it's great to have them to bounce these two morons off of and actually challenge their miscellaneous bullshit. I can only hope that when one or both of said morons inevitably does something stupid it doesn't go too badly for these three! They deserve good things.

A great read as always! Looking forward to 58 which I expect to be informed of promptly this time!
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
sure glad nothing goes wrong here

Chapter 53
Ha, I liked the snag that arises from Mewtwo’s insistence on calling all the worthless boring humans ‘it’ and also the English language calling inanimate objects like houses ‘it’. It’s a fun bit of confusion/levity in-universe, two ships passing in the night, and hey I’m always here for the more meta read about why wild/worthless/boring pokemon typically end up being ‘it’ as well, lol. Mewtwo stammering to find the word for ‘vacation’ is also a gem. I really appreciate the bits of levity here–as far back as “real scientists wear lab coats”, it adds a nice dimension to what would normally be a pretty grim opener.

I’m also curious about the detail that Rats can recognize the difference between the child’s mental states. Is it a physical change i.e. the detached personality has the normal amount of teeth and the goblin personality thinks it looks way cooler with like 40, or is it more of a facial expression thing in the same body? I’m also curious about the child’s original goal of taking on the League with Mew–from Little God I can sort of see how that’d be something Mew would go along with, and also how that would probably be a terrible idea–has that always been a thing in this fic and I’m just misremembering?

I like the detail about the child being offput by Heracross’s cave. The Musketeers in general feel like a group of people who ended up adapting to their shitty hands, very much embodying the vibe of pulling out your folding chair and enjoying the muted concert you couldn’t actually get tickets to (and maybe didn’t even want to), recovering from being kidnapped and brainwashed by terrorists, either/or. It’s something that Mewtwo and the child are borderline incapable of doing, let alone understanding–Mewtwo’s conversation with Absol about just snapping your fingers and fixing the world last chapter really drove that home for me, but it’s refreshing to see the child trying to understand for whatever good that’ll do everyone lol. And likewise, from the way the Musketeers keep laughing at Mewtwo’s threats, the misunderstanding is mutual: this crew never takes Mewtwo seriously the first time through, which I read as them not really being able to take seriously the idea of just having so much power you can act and speak without consequence. And then even when they’re sheepish around him, it’s not because they think they’re going to get pasted, they just feel like a group of friends who are afraid to make things awkward. It’s a fun counter-dynamic in a fic that’s largely had its supporting cast motivated by fear and blackmail lol. Drummer machamp is such a rad concept too.

This chapter and the previous one feel related (so whoops, in retrospect shoulda lumped this in with the previous), and cap off the intro Musketeer bit nicely–Mewtwo fights his most perplexing enemy yet, the idea of appreciating art, first when it has no tangible value and then when it has no personal emotional value. It’s a funny little B-plot, but it’s also fun to read in the context of the purification chamber/the idea reversing shadowfication. Mewtwo just can’t get it yet, just like he can’t choose not-killing-people, just like he can’t enjoy the concert. Honestly Starlight was cooking real hard with that shitpost about how the secret meaning of this fic is that Nate teaches the child to have a heart to be moved by misery.

And then the hard cuts back to the original bookends of Mewtwo and the child doing murder mysteries, this time without pretense of humor, hits really hard. I like how this time, Mewtwo tries to convince the child to do it. Both in the context of Absol’s “why would you choose death” and the child being less perplexed with the concert than Mewtwo, it felt almost like a nice closing to the this little mini-arc, and a nice bit of foreshadowing that the child agrees here. Indifference as the opposite of love/empathy, etc.

What is that noise? he demands. That's supposed to be music?*
*You have no desire, then? No sense of justice? No longing for revenge?"
Dropped a formatting

Chapter 54
I really like this intro for how out of place it feels. These people have school! And work! And things that mean they round 6:49 to 7 am! It’s the kind of mundane worldbuilding that always made Leonard “basil is with the little green bits” Kerrigan so funny to read; it feels like these characters didn’t realize they were in the murder body horror fic when they woke up to get ready for class today lol. And Hypno’s so nice and patient about things while also trying to deflect Mewtwo; I never really believed this section was going to end happily, but there was always this “what if” …

And, yeah, the final piece of the puzzle is playing canon straight; being shadowed is closing the door to your heart, this was a friendship fic all along! I really like how you treat this theme across this arc; I think friendship being low-key the answer is the kind of thing that’d be easy to play off as trite. Imo it works largely because none of the main cast actually gets to understand it properly, so the catharsis isn’t quite explicitly there beating you in the face, but it doesn’t feel unearned.

The ending of this chapter, and also the arc, is one big ol’ oof lol. Hypno watching (what I took her to recognize as) a blatantly abusive relationship ending with the child leaving with Mewtwo, the child’s big-brained flawless plan. It’s a nice-awful bow on everything–looks like for now, power does triumph over friendship, the child hasn’t learned enough lessons yet to consider how other people would react to things (even the ones who constantly monologue about how they will literally always pick the option that favors capital-f Fate no matter the cost), violence gets the right answers! hurray.

Foar a second you consider staying anyway and talking to whoever this is, who cares, but then you remember that Hypno lives with her trainer, and—yes, you've seen her before, haven't you?
*For

Also wait isn’t the Purification Chamber literally in the PC, does this mean–

Chapter 55
It’s really sad watching everyone go all-in on this plan. The other parts of it really aren’t that bad; Mewtwo’s been contained before, Mewtwo’s lost physical confrontations. It’s just, not at all the same scale, and watching the child and three pokemon gleefully trying to replicate the entirety of Team Rocket or Sabrina or Red is just, oh yeah, these guys are cooking, the kitchen is on fire. And they still make time to talk to each other and be friends, even stoic Thunderstorm can pause between broadcasting building instructions to reassure the child that it doesn’t owe them answers, ugh.

“Mewtwo was going to, you know” / “no I don’t know” The year is 2024 and Rats trying not to explain murder to Titan will never grow old for me. And then ugh, the immediate pivot away from comedy when the child answers the question and Titan is understandably confused and upset. Luckily this is the only sad thing to happen in this chapter and there is not a large, cat-shaped elephant in the room.

As much as I dreaded it, I really enjoyed (and enjoy) the description of Absol/Mewtwo’s arrival, how much imposing detail you manage to pack into their silhouettes. It’s a really vivid image. Describing Absol as “betraying nothing at all” particularly stuck in my mind, because yeah she’s not showing how she’s feeling about this or how much of the impending violence she’s forseen/condoned by doing this, but this really is a betrayal of sorts, isn’t it.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper fight scene, and this one really delivers. It’s so gross and desperate, and made even moreso by the fact that the child’s heart is never in it, because the child is too busy calculating that it needs to lose here. One of the things that I think is very core to your writing style is that your fights establish very clear stakes and motivations for those involved, on all sides, and oftentimes they’re uniquely set up to pit characters against each other who might not normally have a need to fight. And that of course makes for some really sick, flashy fights, but it also keeps being a joy to read, even here when the child has to sabotage its own team because it’s capable of doing the math that they refuse to believe in. It’s a really grim ending on this whole “but what if we tried empathy instead”--because for once the child’s actions are motivated by understanding someone better than everyone else; both the child and Mewtwo have a specific way of solving these problems that Rats and Titan and Absol will never really understand. And on Mewtwo’s side, this really reads like his own closing on an arc of not being able to understand the Musketeers, questioning why they trifle themselves with art and wanting jobs and playing human games clashing with his own preconceptions that pokemon are always abused by humans and therefore he should not be part of the problem by inflicting further violence on pokemon–there’s a world in which he accepts these strange ideals the Musketeers hold and realizes it’s okay for a pokemon to recover and integrate like this; and there’s a world in which he rejects his own notions of treating pokemon as less deserving of violence than humans. And this is the world where he dropkicks Rats in the face.

Chapter 56
I really never expected this much Absol exposition! It’s certainly not unwelcome. This and the bit where she tried to fight during the tournament arc and revealed that she wasn’t an implacable force of nature (which, in hindsight–yeah she did know an awful lot of TM's and special disaster moves, didn’t she?) always felt like a little bit of pulling back the hood. And it’s interesting to me because both times I feel a little disappointed in her (I still think she’s a well-written character)--but now especially on the tail of an arc where the gang tries to learn about friendship, where someone ardently and angrily defends Mewtwo being “the worst” and I find myself agreeing with them, it does feel a little unfair for Absol to write off all this suffering, herself and others, as strictly necessary and therefore inevitable. She feels almost like a foil to Tyranitar here–she’s made her peace with her tragic backstory, to the point that she doesn’t even feel the need to mention it for 350k words, and yet it’s hard to look at because in this case, making peace with her role requires her to accept and enable a ton of suffering. Slipping behind the curtain, it seems like she’s just as incapable of empathy as Mewtwo and the child are, except this is the end of her tragic backstory and she’s specifically taken steps to make (or keep) herself this way, because she feels that’s her duty. It’s certainly one of the more intriguing bits of xeno here, and it really works for her character imo–I’ve kind of taken her as a narrative stand-in for the story taking its course regardless of individual action; every time she takes action it’s usually to put things back on track. And I find it another interesting way of playing the lore straight–an absol can both bring disaster and warn of it. Mild Absol bashing aside, I like to believe that her “it gets better” isn’t a prophecy at all.

Admittedly I’m deeply curious about the reiterating of Absol’s intended endgame here, with the child giving up its powers to restore Mew. This all checks out as an ending but somehow I’m not entirely convinced it’ll turn out this way …

“can i be a musketeer too” brb my heart
Tho honestly this whole thing does end up really tragic. The child plays by their rules (see: Mewtwo cheating at poker) and then gets done a little dirty, and now it’s just so sad and disillusioned with this whole thing that the friendship van is out the window, this is all what could’ve been. I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of them interaction with the child, but it’s a pretty sad sendoff for the time being, rip.

And Eskar’s back! She sure does have a knack for showing up exactly when everyone’s at their worst, doesn’t she.

You're on the sidelines, watching their friendship from the outside,same as always.
Dropped a space here

Chapter 57
Back in October for sure, eh? :’)
(I say this purely in jest; I will always be happy to read more of this fic at whatever pace it comes out at. Hope writing and non-writing has been going well for you.)

The interior fight is really cool and the burning building is a great background setpiece, but I’m most impressed by how joyless you make the exterior fight feel once the child just starts slaughtering Rockets. It’s not having fun. No one’s having fun. And the child has certainly learned, well, some sort of lesson from everything that’s happened in Orre. Very much a “torment then or torment now” sort of mood; it doesn’t really feel like any of these paths end in victory. It’s really nice to see that so far everyone’s big clever plans in Orre have been sieve-full of holes these days.

Plasma Grunt Mewtwo has a nice ring to it, I suppose. I find this conversation satisfying in a way that I often don’t, mostly because the people talking the abused pokemon down are also pokemon, who also understand suffering, who also are characters in the broader story. Which is really not something that I’m used to seeing accompanying someone being talked down from being anti-human lol. This bit works a lot specifically because the Musketeers (minus Heracross who wants no part in this lol) are able to empathize with Mewtwo before talking him down; we’ve gotten to see what kind of people they are before they start this conversation, so “ok some humans suckbut #notall” feels a lot more justified coming from them. There’s been some really good work in this past chunk of chapters to make sure that the pokemon here are characters with agency; Hypno’s not going through a ton of emotional change rn (though she’s certainly being challenged lol), but she clearly has, and as such I find her championing forgiveness here to work. Unfortunately this is exactly the reason that Mewtwo doesn’t find it working, so here we all are I guess.

Obviously, yes. If there were no humans, they wouldn't be able to hurt any* pokémon. That's been my point all along."
*I have evaded Team Rocket many times already, and I will do so again. And when I've found my mother, we will destroy them, and all the rest like them, however long that may take."
*It wasn't pokémon that turned this place to desert. Can you imagine it? A world where humans are only a myth... It would be beautiful, wouldn't it?"
Dropped a formatting

-

And, golly, there’s no more “next chapter” buttons. I’ve been read-up for quite some time; your prose is always such a treat to read and even on re-read this never really felt like the novel-ish length that it actually is. I think major standouts for me were all the things with Rats and Titan, Absol’s cool indie album cover pose before she absolutely obliterates the child’s day, Hypno, and of course the Tyranitar rock garden–though in general I really liked how the Orre arc’s been rolling out so far. Again, never really would’ve expected this fic to end up here, but everything really works. I’ve talked at length in review for why I think the Musketeers are such a cool addition to the character dynamics, and that’s certainly been a highlight, but I’m also really endeared by the idea of the harsh wasteland being the place where everyone starts to ask the deeper questions about friendship and power. Especially with the picnics and card games and literal beach episode it feels almost like an extended beach episode … just with, like, a ton more violence and also some really juicy plot hooks (Hypno knows a formerly-shadowed sableye??). Perhaps it’s that everyone spent more time talking about the themes between themselves, each other, and the camera, but things did feel really narratively tight despite how much of these chapters has been seemingly unrelated fireside chats; in general I thought this arc had some super impressive character work and it was such a treat to read.

Looks like things might be racing to a close soon? Certainly looking forward to seeing more.
 

tomatorade

The great speckled bird
Location
A town at the bottom of the ocean
Pronouns
He/Him
Partners
  1. quilava
  2. buizel
Well, it's not exactly on theme, but I did promise to get to this eventually so here I am! I managed the first two chapters today, hopefully more in the future.

Uno

It's starts off biblical for some reason. At least to me. Not so much religious but sorta detached and every once in a while it'll hit me with a line that makes me raise my brows. I mean, the Child would totally be cancelled by twitter this day and age, unfortunately. We don't like identity theft 'round these parts.

Memes aside, I really loved how this was written. You've got some great descriptions. The tone and contents really sell the chill of the Seafoam islands, the characters are strange and mysterious for the moment--also detached, though the child seems to find at least some joy in swimming. What's interesting is that they still have some sort of empathy, even if it's strange. The first line of the fic is much more humanising on the second readthrough, for sure, like a pre-funeral, and not even that defensive as I would assume from someone knowingly condemning another to death. Also the little details they remember of this dude at work. I'm assuming the child is this fabled third creature alongside mew and mewtwo, so I wonder how much they know of their origins. Absol, too. Some kinda divine protector? I dunno. They certainly seem to inherit some of that classic mewtwo attitude lol.

The premise is interesting in that not only do I have little clue where it's going, I also have little clue where it's starting lol. I certainly feel dropped into the deep end along with that dead guy, plus a lot of questions I'm assuming will be expanded upon in later chapters.

Two

oh no oh shit, I'm in the fic now.

I was a little confused at the beginning, but I got into it by the end. There's a ton of interesting stuff going on, not all of which comes together immediately. As it shouldn't, I suppose.

I have to wonder why the child needs Titan? There seems to be some kind of past beyond just gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing their way into Titan believing they're actually Nathan. Some strange reactions as they fight that make me wonder if they've met each other before and Titan is just in denail. Of course, it could also just be the gaslighting lol. Though I can't pretend the child is any good at it--their tactics fall apart immediately and then thay have to beat him up lol. Not great bedside manner, I will say.

I think it does suggest that 'the child' is an accurate title in many ways. Obviously they were raised in an... interesting situation, but I still see shreds of a kid/young adult trying to get their way. 'you won't listen to my obvious lies so now I'll hit you until you do!' is a classic kid move.

I also have to wonder what the child wants from all of this. They have some strong motivations, definitely, I just wish I knew what they were lol. The summary suggests they're trying to find their mother (who is mew?) but that has not been made apparent in the stry beyond the suggestion that they're going to search for something. I think this bothers me mostly because a lot of wild stuff has happened in only two chapters, andI don't have a lot of context for it yet.

Anyway, I enjoyed the dialogue a lot here. There wasn't a lot to evaluate previously, but it comes across very naturalistic in this chapter. There's a tendency for characters to repeat things and butt against each other--to talk around what the other means/wants thats organic and illuminating of individual characters, if sometimes frustrating. You also tease out some subtle traits from individuals that I like. I've already talked about the child's age--which I think is apparent in dialogue--but rats is fun as a sorta chill sidekick. I like to imagine they're from new york lol.

And yeah, the ending gets me a little confused again. Like, Titan knows something, right? Is the child gaslighting me now? I find myself wondering how much Titan remembers of... that. Whatever it is the child's talking about. Also how he's so eager to stumble into their house at the end of the day. It's better than nothing, I suppose. Dude needs better friends lol.

Anyway, I found myself having less to say than I thought. This is just a very good fic, immediately. The writing is great, even with a lot of stuff going on the individual beats are not hard to follow. I will admit to a lot of confusion regarding the actual plot and motivations, but I suppose that will come with more reading. I suspect this is a fic I will need to read multiple times to fully understand.

I will be back : )
 

Sinderella

Angy Tumbleweed
Staff
Location
In Guzma's Closet
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. sylveon-shiny
  2. gothitelle
  3. froslass
  4. chandelure
  5. mimikyu
OKAY WOW I guess it only took me two fucking years but HEEEYYYYYYYY I CAUGHT UP WITH THE TR RENDITION OF SALVAGE WOO. It actually took me a second to remember what had happened in the first 6 chapters but it came back to me kinda quick...a lot of clusterfucking and a lot of humor that I fucking love and a lot more second person. I forgot this story was mostly in second person but holy shit I had the BIGGEST revelation in these chapters and I'll get to it in a bit. This is meant to cover chapters 7-10 and I'll just go on endlessly about it.

Okay so I'll start with the obvious; we finally got some Nate dialogue and I was fucking SCREAMING pretty much every time this man opened his mouth. Like, fics make me laugh sometimes, but I was sitting at my desk at work doing my quiet quitting shit and I legitimately had my head down in my arms trying to muffle my laughter. His banter his fucking GLORIOUS, paired with the fact that the Child continues to be very childish and either Cannot Parse Sarcasm or just gets upset and feeds into it. Either way, the resulting interactions are just fucking incredible. The one-liners out of him are note-taking worthy, and you make his distaste so vehemently clear I almost want him to run away for his own sake. But then there would be no more banter and we can't have that.

I'm not saying he resolved himself to help quickly, because the Child whittled away at him for a while, but his sudden change of heart felt, well....sudden. Like I knew he was eventually going to say yes but the way he did so felt a little rushed to me. Like he was vehemently opposed to the idea of traveling with this shapeshifting freakazoid but then it says one thing to him and suddenly he's like "okay okay okay." Like, my takeaway was that what the Child said to him was enough to get a change of heart, but I didn't really grasp that from the exposition and I kind of wanted to. Like, the Child picking up some subtle nuances stating that he has had a change of heart, rather than just dialogue of him being like "fine sure revenge lets go."

Also, the whole "force feeding Nate soft-boiled" scene was two parts hysterical, two parts absolutely horrific. Like the whole image of the Child just repeatedly shoving eggs down this man's throat had me HOWLING (quietly) but then once Nate realizes his arm literally healed wrong and the Child goes back and re-breaks all the bones to heal them? I fucking shuddered bro. That is some MESSY shit.

I really do feel bad for Nate. I feel it in my bones just how fucked up he is and the Child is kinda forcing him to go along on this adventure, and it has me feeling queasy on his behalf. I've never been beaten half to death before, but I have been sick and been forced to do some hard exercise (thanks, band), and I can't imagine the sensation is very different, if not nearly as intense as what Nate is dealing with. When he finally got a chance to sleep, i breathed a sigh of relief. Like PLEASE let this man nap. He's not exactly a saint but I have reason to believe he didn't exactly deserve all this.

Also, this part:
I'm getting fucking attacked by my fucking evil twin.
I had such a "ah yep I feel you moment" because Odette basically goes through a very similar revelation....."oh fucking god my evil twin is LITERALLY BULLYING ME." They'd have so much to talk about lol. And I still feel so bad for him. They stole his identity, his freedom, his fucking money (I raged particularly hard at that jesus christ I know the Child is trying to do their own "good" and is acting on their own idea of justice and kind of had a point but holy FUCK the audacity lol).

Small note, I also noticed there seemed to be a discrepancy in how "the Great Nathaniel Morgan" was capitalized throughout these chapters. The 'G' was lowercase initially, then becomes capitalized right after the bit with using Nate's pokedex is mentioned, and then in the last chapter it was lowercased again. I couldn't tell if there was a significance to that or if it was a general oversight.

Characterization-wise, I really enjoyed getting to see more of the Child as they are going on an actual journey. There are moments where I feel like they're almost too mature (i.e. breaking up fights between Togetic and Duskull, or trying to get Rats to leave Nate alone) but then like, we get to the battle that happened in 9 and suddenly YES, they're a fucking kid. Also, MY REVELATION:

The child wakes frantic from its mother's nightmares, looking up into a predawn sky framed by Titan's wing. It feels the rise and fall of the charizard's side beneath its head, listens to the counterpoint of Rats' snoring. The raticate is a solid warmth curled against its side, and Togetic roosts not far away, between Titan's shoulder blades. For a few minutes the child lies still, letting the presence of its friends calm it, but it can tell there's no point trying to go back to sleep. Instead it gently moves Rats aside, then gets up and stretches. The raticate grumbles dozily and wiggles closer to Titan, and only Duskull, ever watchful, sees the child leave.

The cold shock of the water brings it to full wakefulness, and for awhile it hunts with eyes closed, following the tickling of movement against its skin, feeling for the sparking of frantic muscles darting through the still-dark ocean. Only after it's sated its hunger and taken to lazy trolling for fish to bring back for the others does it have any thought for the day ahead. By the time it leaves the ocean, shedding gills and webbing as it goes, it's ready to take up its burdens for the day.

The sun is rising as the child shrugs into its new skin and the clothes that go with it. It sits a while with the pokédex, reciting its litany.

You are Nathaniel Morgan. You've been a trainer for almost six years now. And how long a member of Team Rocket? You neither know nor care. What matters is that when you were twenty-two years old, you--lived. Unfortunately.
I realized that I think the POV switches when the Child switches forms??? Like, when they're not anybody in particular, just the Child, it's in third person, but when they actually shift into somebody's identity, it's second person. Am I on the right track here or am I still stupid LOL???

Back to the character as a whole, I overall just dig that there seems to be moments where the Child isn't acting childish, but then the battles with Blaine and Nate happen and you realize this abomination has absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Regarding the Blaine fight, I was actually SO CERTAIN they were going to lose, but I wasn't particularly surprised when they won, either. Mostly because that win was based around Titan going postal and no actual strategy, like Nate ends up saying. And even leading up to that, there was such a juvenile level of confidence in what the Child THOUGHT they could do and what actually ended up happening. Like, being so certain they'd sweep Blaine with War because War is a water type, or how they were certain a skill that had apparently been developed by Red wouldn't be countered, and all these other little nuances that make it very clear that they are, for all intents and purposes, an inexperienced trainer, despite thinking otherwise.

The cherry on top was them fighting against Nate and actually getting beaten by a pretty decent strategy (via FORFEIT, no less) and calling it cheating. I also want to just not like the Child and what they're doing but there is also a certain level of childlike naïveté in how they go about approaching "right" and "wrong." Like, I get the gist they want to do right, but the idea of those two are so black and white to them that they cannot fathom the more grey areas, like Nate simply being a Rocket because he needed money. There's a lot of pushing and pulling with this characterization overall that I REALLY enjoy and am greatly looking forward to seeing established as chapters go on.

I think out of the whole team, Rats is my favorite. I can hear her voice so clearly in my head every time I read her dialogue, and her characterization as kind of this lazy bumbling buffoon who has some Moments is just so expertly written. I love her LOL.

Anyway, I really like where this is going, and you left off on SUCH A CLIFFHANGER, WHERE IS THE REST OF IT NEGREK???? POST IT HERE WHEN???????

In the meantime, hope you have a great blitz, and I'll see you around!!
 
Last edited:

Dragonfree

Moderator
Staff
Location
Iceland
Pronouns
she/her/hers
Partners
  1. butterfree
  2. mightyena
  3. charizard
  4. scyther-mia
  5. vulpix
  6. slugma
The opening here is very visceral, super painful and sticky and raw. We don't see what kind of beating the child took from Mewtwo but the aftermath, oooof. Also enjoy how Absol's there telling her big dramatic backstory, pausing after saying disaster only befell her through the suffering of others, and the child is mostly just there thinking about how its tongue is stuck to the roof of its mouth and maybe it can get her to get some water, and then she goes, "That is all I wish to say on the matter," as if imagining the faint wheeze it's making was meant to be some kind of probe for more details about what happened to her mate and family. (Absol please, was this really the time to sit down for a lore dump.) Love the disconnect there.

So, Absol reveals! Interesting to hear she's not just a typical Absol but in fact a very special one, one who's been blessed-slash-cursed with big impactful faraway visions, which rather recontextualizes her.

It's also interesting to see that ultimately she does seem to be consequentialist about it. She never followed Fate for its own sake; it's just that whenever she tried to avoid it, Fate became worse, until it was brutally made clear to her that she can't escape it and enforcing even a terrible Fate is preferable to the even more terrible consequences of not doing so. Her first words to the child here are I understand, and there is definitely a certain parallel between the child's experiences and hers, feebly struggling against an impossible force that will always win and always makes you regret that you ever tried until you accept it.

Now, is Fate necessarily real? Did Absol simply interpret coincidental disastrous happenings as being because of her? Are there a bunch of other Absol with faraway visions who don't ever speak up because it doesn't turn out horrible things happen as they keep it secret? Maybe, for all we know. But to Absol, at least, it looks like Fate is just as vicious as Mewtwo, and considerably less amenable to going to picnics.

After everything, the very best she can promise you is that you won't actually die.
Now, she made no such promise, only that you won't die before you meet Mew!

Case in point:

"When the time comes, will you give up your mother's power? Will you return it to her, that she might be restored?" Absol asks.
Absussing at this from a mile away. Even in the child's official story, it's Mew's power that's the reason it's alive at all.

"Yes." Absol's unperturbed. "But your brother especially. Everything has gone wrong, somehow. I fear it is my fault."

Her fault? How could it be her fault? Mewtwo's the way he is because of the scientists who made him and because he's a jerk. Absol doesn't have anything to do with it.

It takes you several seconds to figure it out, but of course Absol is content to wait. "Because you defied Fate? You think this is something to do with that? Do you think you're being... punished?"

No sound but the gentle patter of rain. "I do not know," Absol says at last. "But I worry. It is true that your brother will not defy Fate. He desires the return of his mother above all. Besides, I would have seen it if he turned aside. But I cannot help but fear that I should have done something more. Something different. I can only hope that when your brother and mother reunite, she will better know how to help him than I did."
Brain now speculating that when Absol says she fears it's her fault she doesn't mean because she's being punished, but rather because of her own actions on Cinnabar. I rechecked chapter 11 and Absol is the one who told it that Mew told her to protect it, etc. She may have been lying. Or otherwise it's about her, with her trainer at the time (did we ever officially confirm that Absol is the same Absol as the one the guy had? Surely she is?), restraining Mew and thus causing Sara to die and the child to come into existence in the first place.

Anyway, I wonder if the child's Pokémon brain state is basically just Shadowfied Mew. Giving up Mew's power is so going to mean tearing her out of Sara's body.

"I like stadium food! They always sell popcorn with sweet stuff on it for the big tournaments in Kanto, and some gyms do local specialties, like in Cerulean City they have some of that salty ice cream and in Fuchsia City it's burgers with berry syrup that's supposed to look like poison."

Hypno rubs her chin, deep in thought. "Hmm, I don't know what I'd call the Orre specialty. There's a lot of dishes that are common around here that you didn't really see out in Johto."

"Drugs."

"Heracross."

"...on a bun?"

You snort a laugh despite yourself, and Heracross gives you a calf punch, since she can't reach your shoulder.
Love these fun exchanges.

The child wanting to join the Musketeers now serves as sort of an outgrowth of the thought it was having earlier about how it will have nothing and no one when it's all over; it's lost its Pokémon's companionship, unwillingly belongs to Mewtwo, and just desperately needs someone. Ouch. (Mewtwo being enthusiastic about seeing them again, though, aww and also oh no.) The petulant insistence on not being Keldeo and taking over one of the others' roles instead, after they've very kindly agreed to take them on board, though, jeez, child. But I suppose it doesn't feel very secure in its position if it just gets to be the fourth, extra one, the kid - obviously the one who's expendable and not integral to the group, right?

Heracross humouring that honestly very rude and entitled request anyway in the way she does is cute. Can't fault her for fighting slightly dirty when the child was already doing that, either. Enjoy Noctowl's spontaneous rule that they must wait a full passing of the moon before challenging for a position again. Probably they're all pretty alarmed over what happened with the child's desperate visit to Hypno a couple chapters back, but of course it won't tell them anything.

It seems there are many. That could be difficult. Mewtwo wants you to kill all of them, and that's going to take a lot of effort. And you'll need to identify Edelyn, because you can't kill her yet. You're terrible at telling humans apart, especially like now, in the dark.
Unempathy child problems

Anyway, the return of Eskar! Was not expecting to see her here, so that was a fun surprise. I'll save it for next chapter, but definitely intrigued by the development of Rockets being in Orre.

All in all, a fun chapter with a few very different components to it - the child's painstaking recovery whump overlaid with Absol's impassive explanation of her backstory, and then the child approaching the Musketeers to try to earn a place among them, a much lighter and more humourous bit all in all even though it does remind us towards the end why the child is doing this. This fic truly contains multitudes. Which is a fun thing about it! You'll have a chapter with something brutally sad and depressing and also the silly hijinks of an oblivious child.


What she does do lie down beside you
Think you're missing an "is".

You're on the sidelines, watching their friendship from the outside,same as always.
Missing a space.
 
Last edited:

tomatorade

The great speckled bird
Location
A town at the bottom of the ocean
Pronouns
He/Him
Partners
  1. quilava
  2. buizel
Hoohoo heehee I am back for another review. This is for chapters three and four.

Identity theft

It’s very interesting to me how many people the child has taken the form of already. It seems every scene we see them pretending to be someone else. I’m sure this has had no impact on their mental health at all.

And they seem to all be dead people? So far? It’s a smart move, to be fair, although I wonder if there will ever be a time they’re caught out (beside Titan, but the child didn’t do a very good job there tbf). There’s definitely an amount of care around selection—at the beginning here, they claim Jade as a nobody, after all.

Amongst the other things I wonder is what the considerations for time/routine are. They talk as though they come to this spot, in this identity regularly. I wonder about the purpose. Information gathering, maybe, and we see a bit of that. Which comes with a disturbing amount of insight into Kerrigan’s backstory that makes me wonder where it came from lol. Not the computer, I hope, though the child does not strike me as someone who has a gaming laptop at home. Branching off of this, there’s a general distance from the timeline here. I have no idea when this happens compared to previous chapters, making the whole experience feel a bit like I’m being given pieces for a jigsaw puzzle. Not in a bad way, though.

But ah, we get a fascinating bit of conflict here too. It seems I was right that the child would get caught out. Or, at least in the past.

Also damn, kid. It’s fucked up how you be describing the man. It’s very funny to me that this man is something they have to prepare for and speak of as if they’re both a pathetic waste and a great obstacle.

Character rambling

The child is much more of a character here. Both in sinister and human ways. There’s like a tiny bit of longing to the, that keeps them somewhat grounded even as they’re playing the hammy supervillain and talking up their own cunning at the old man who doesn’t even know they exist lol. And my child, I would not be that certain of your sterling conversation skills. I saw what you tried to pull with Titan.

Speaking of, while Titan doesn’t do much here, it’s still interesting that he’s here at all. That weak smile makes me think it’s not all by choice, but he’s not resisting anymore so there’s that at least.

Absol appears to be some sort of mentor, I suppose. At least a good influence. We stan children learning to read.

Chapter the fourth

It’s interesting to me how much distance the prose creates. It’s something I only noticed here as Cinnabar is being described. It all feels so alien and detached, an understanding that comes from watching it from a mountain across the way. The coldness from the beginning hasn’t really left, even in moments of conversation. It’s an interesting tone to take for pokemon especially, but not unfitting for anything related to the Mewtwo incident.

I wonder if there’s some dissociation/inhabitation/whatever involved with taking on other identities. I assumed last chapter that th child was just benign villainous as a reveal of other aspects of their character, but here they’re a total mess in a way that seems distinct from previous chapters—including a fear of the man they were completely prepared to take on earlier. It’s also possible they just aren’t very stable though.

Well, that went well lol. It’s one way to make an impression. This is maybe not what you were going for—I still think the scene is quite tragic in a weird way—but it reminds me a lot of the sketch structure fromI Think You Should Leave. A premise is set up, a character says/does something weird or awkward and keeps doubling down to absurdity. Intrusive thoughts: activate at 200% kinda thing.

Anyway…

What’s a little bit of cannibalism between friends? I’m immediately repellant, yet as the child mentions that wild pokemon will get them anyway, I’m reminded of what they are. It’s still not a great thing obviously. They’re conscious and able enough not to, but it’s just an interesting bit about perspective I suppose.

What a great plot point lol. I love stuff like this. The child ends a scene extremely certain of their incredible plan and immediately proves themselves wrong. Absol is a lot of fun here, too. You don’t usually expect these kinds of mentor archetypes to be teaching characters like the child. Makes me wonder why they came in the first place. They place a lot of emphasis on fate, so I’m assuming this is their path and they believe that to be unchangeable. Or something.

And oops things only get worse. Very telling that they think stopping Kerrigan from… doing whatever he’s doing. Probably eating pizza like most lifelong programmers (gottem). Very youthful, this one. I applaud the enthusiasm, even if I doubt it will go well.

The question of whether they’re human or pokemon or even get to choose is interesting. In some ways, it reminds me of people who emigrate somewhere. Who look clearly different where thay grow up and are ostracised, and believe moving back ‘home’ will fix that, only to be ostracised there as well. Only beyond the social expectations, here the child has all the powers of both human and pokemon and uses them eagerly.

Unfortunately, I only got to read two chapters again this time. But things are coming together a lot more than in the first two chapters. Picking up steam, so to speak, and I’m excited to see where this goes.
 

Starlight Aurate

Ad Jesum per Mariam | pfp by kintsugi
Location
Route 123
Partners
  1. mightyena
  2. psyduck
All right it's been 2 years and I'm 12 chapters behind, so what better time to play catch up than the annual Review Blitz???

I like what we can glean from Mewtwo's psychology just at the bit of him in the beginning. He returns the child's Pokemon to him because the Pokemon want it, and still says he'll ensure that the child treats them fairly. I was pretty shocked when Mewtwo gave them back so quickly, too! But it does make sense that he calls the child's Pokemon his "slaves," since he has so much disdain for Pokemon trainers and (at least thinks) he has the Pokemon's best interests at heart.

And Mewtwo's relationship with Absol interests me! I wonder why he listens to her and calls her his "guardian"?

I like the interaction between the child and Titan when he lets Titan out. It's very simple, and they don't use many words, but they really get across how each other is feeling. It's heartbreaking to see Titan so confused and so hurt when he's been trying hard to be optimistic and has placed so much faith in the child this whole time. And even though neither of them want to talk about the issues they've been having, I think it was still an effective scene, since it's very in-character for them both.

Also, it's heartbreaking to think of War going to Orre. He won't be able to swim! Or even go outside--he'd dry up within minutes!

Heh, neat to see that the child is really excited to see Shadow Pokemon because they're scary with glowy eyes.

Ugh, I always wanted to play Pokemon Colosseum, but seeing the child talk about Orre and the stadiums makes me want to play it even more!

I just want to point out how smoothly your prose flows when you describe the child poking around the ship while the Pokemon are battling. You're describing stuff that by all means, should be repetitive and monotonous, but it never once feels like it! Your writing has a nice rhythm to it, and I can really feel like we're exploring with the child as it sees all sorts of things. It's really well-done!

And they've made it to Orre! You do a good job of conveying the child's absolute terror and reluctance, not just to go to Orre, but just in having to interact with Mewtwo again. I can't imagine things are going to get any easier any time soon.
 

Dragonfree

Moderator
Staff
Location
Iceland
Pronouns
she/her/hers
Partners
  1. butterfree
  2. mightyena
  3. charizard
  4. scyther-mia
  5. vulpix
  6. slugma
"I'm afraid your friend is busy, Cordierite-eyes," Eskar says. She jumps down to land in front of you, then easily dodges your reflexive slap. "So very busy! I think we have been trying to meet the same people, yes? Perhaps we can help each other."
Trying to meet the same people, and Eskar wanting to make a deal about helping each other, definitely makes it sound like Team Rocket is going after Cipher, more than working with them - sounds like TR was waiting to ambush Edelyn?

It's strange. So often before you fought the pokémon. Not that you wouldn't attack the trainers, too, but often only that—attack. Not kill. It's so much easier, though. The last time you fought Team Rocket they nearly overwhelmed you, kept healing their pokémon and sending them out to fight again, summoned more and more of their kind with their various devices. When you're done here there won't be anyone left to work the healing machine. There won't be anyone giving orders. And dismantling a ring of humans standing back from the battlefield is much less painful than throwing yourself into the thick of things.
Hmmm yes very strange, I wonder why it hasn't been doing this before, how inefficient :sadbees:

Team Rocket? Always so frightening to peer back into recent memory. Context is a dangerous thing when Mewtwo's involved. But why would he ever be talking about Team Rocket way out here in Orre?

Quit whining and figure it out, the clone barks. Why is Team Rocket here? How did they learn of us? How can we stop them?

"I'm trying!" You cover your ears, not that it does a shred of good against Mewtwo's voice. Your muscles are taut to trembling; you're braced for violence, even without knowing what's going on. What about Team Rocket? Tonight, you saw them. Eskar! How could she have gotten here? And then they almost got Mewtwo, just like the other time, except that you—
Poor child. It's interesting to see how confused it is here, needing to actively reach into memories of the past while which it's clearly at least conditioned itself to not do with the usual kind of automatic ease.

Mewtwo's irritation spikes as you take a sharp, trembling breath. Ignore that! I'm not going to repeat myself. What do you know?
Someone's not pleased at the child thinking of how Mewtwo only escaped this time thanks to its help.

The great Nathaniel Morgan would know what to do if he was here. He'd be able to figure out what Team Rocket is up to and how you can stop them. He knows them really well, after all.
For all of the child worrying they could have tortured him into giving up where Mewtwo is, this whole bit is oddly heartwarming. It's genuinely wishing Nate was here, thinking he'd be able to figure this out, adamant that Nate wouldn't have agreed to work with Team Rocket, that he only ever did so to get his Pokémon back, squirming at the thought of a tiny chance it could have unknowingly murdered him. We've come a long way from Nate's first chapters where the child asserted that as a Team Rocket grunt he is simply ontologically evil, haven't we.

*That human is a gross waste of the air it breathes, and I'm sure it isn't giving you a single thought.*
This feels like it's going to be some ironic foreshadowing.

"Yes, there was a lot about him in the news recently, wasn't there?" Noctowl says. You have to work hard to keep a straight face while Mewtwo fumes.
Delightful.

"Well, there are a couple sableye who just live here in Orre," Hypno says. "At least one who was made shadow. I think she left, though. I'll be careful. Don't worry."
Hmmmhmmm. If she left, she could be Eskar, right? Sort of surprised the child and Mewtwo don't probe further about this.

There's a lot of speculation that Team Rocket and Cipher were working together, but what if Team Rocket is simply hunting down Cipher members, as Eskar kind of implied at the start, for the same reasons they are? They might also be interested in what exactly became of Mew, and would have the same records that she was moved to Orre. Like I said, I don't think what Eskar said implies they were actually there to ambush Mewtwo - but of course, the child hasn't relayed exactly what she said, probably didn't have the faculties to properly realize its significance at the time.

It definitely checks out that Cipher's nervous if Team Rocket is picking off their higher-ups even when Mewtwo isn't.

"This is... quite an arrangement you have here," Hypno says, eyeing your big sofa. It only fits lengthwise across the room because you trimmed a bit off one end, but it's really big and comfy! You can stretch all the way out while you watch TV and not have your feet hang off the other end. "Where did you find it? I can't even think what sort of store would sell something like this."

"I got it in Phenac City! They have all kinds of cool stuff there." At least you assume it won't be hard for Phenac's grand hotel to find more couches. They must have come from somewhere in the first place.
Ahaha, oh dear. Such a child. I imagine you can't quite get "trimmed" sofas in most furniture stores, let alone the type used by the grand hotel.

"Oh, yes, there are some faucets downstairs in the factory," you say. Everyone looks at you. After a few seconds you realize they expect it to be your job to go get that, and you sigh and trudge back out into the sunlight.
The perils of being a host!

It wouldn't just be me, Mewtwo says. You can't even imagine it, then? A world without Team Rocket? A world where something like Team Rocket couldn't even exist?[/i]

"Nope," Heracross says. "That's life for you, isn't it?"

No, Mewtwo says. No, I don't think that's how it has to be. And the fact that no one seems to be able to even dream of a world that's different is the beginning of it. No one but me.
Something about this bit of the conversation just makes me think of, "It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism."

"Mewtwo," Hypno says. Her ears are pinned low like those of an aggravated cat. "You've had a lot of bad experiences with humans, I know. We all have. Do you really think that going out and getting rid of them is going to make any of it right?"

"I mean, you can't deny that kicking Cipher to the curb would be good for everybody," Heracross says. Hypno holds up a hand to silence her and gets another loud slurp in response.
I love Hypno there trying her hardest to gently talk Mewtwo down from this while her more radical friend just sits there slurping her soda and casually agreeing that it'd be great to wipe out the evil teams. Read the room, Heracross.

You question my strength? You shiver at the force of Mewtwo's mental words. There are some insults he won't tolerate, perhaps, even from an important ally. If he snaps and does something to Hypno, you'll... Well, you'll sit there and do nothing, won't you? You hug yourself tight, wishing for her to be silent. Just like Rats, she hasn't learned that you can never stand up to Mewtwo.
Oooof. :sadwott:

There's nothing wrong with me! Mewtwo towers, a cumulonimbus looming over everyone, threatening to burst with violent rain. I've dedicated my life to finding my mother. To rescuing her! Of course that's the most important thing to me. It would be to any rational creature!
Yes, Mewtwo, you are truly the most rational of creatures, and going about this in the absolute most rational way

(I'm not actually quite sure what the cumulonimbus is getting at here... like, is it saying Mewtwo metaphorically is a cumulonimbus looming over everyone, or that he's actually conjured a raincloud into the room?)

Keldeo? Mewtwo says abruptly, rounding on you.

"I don't know!" you blurt. "I mean, it's just a stupid name. They think it's funny." And you don't understand why that out of everything is what he's seized upon, simmering with anger.
Little bit of very buried jealousy of the child having this special relationship with them while they just want to explain to him why he's wrong, hmm?

Hypno and Noctowl are so wholesome, help. They're trying so hard with all their hearts to just coax Mewtwo into healthier ways of dealing with his trauma, even when Mewtwo's not taking it well. True bravery. I also enjoy Heracross a lot here, casually taking Mewtwo's side. I don't know that it's quite so much that she truly believes Mewtwo wiping out Cipher and Team Rocket would be great (though I think she legitimately does enjoy the idea more than Hypno/Noctowl) as that she wants to keep Mewtwo content and feeling like they're on his side, and validating him is her way of doing that, while all this trauma counselling probably feels like a more dangerous way to go with him.

Either way, they're all so good. I truly want to believe they're going to get somewhere with him and will have a breakthrough.

It's always a pleasure to read this fic and I'm excited for where we're heading - can't say I'm at all sure what chapter 58, or the rest of the fic, will actually involve. Looking greatly forward to next chapter and beyond!


Great. Wonderful. Now you have that to worry about them, too.
Feels like you might have swapped between "Now you have that to worry about, too" and "Now you have to worry about them, too" and accidentally left both words in.

Hypno isn't pleased to have you show up at her door minutes past dawn again, or to be asked to help find Noctowl, but she she lets you teleport her away anyhow.
"she she"

The next one in line is, and then you abruptly find yourself out in the cold, star-washed Orrean night, breathing clean air while he house behind you glows an angry red-orange from every window.
Should be "...while the house..."

*I have evaded Team Rocket many times already, and I will do so again. And when I've found my mother, we will destroy them, and all the rest like them, however long that may take."
*It wasn't pokémon that turned this place to desert. Can you imagine it? A world where humans are only a myth... It would be beautiful, wouldn't it?"
Obviously, yes. If there were no humans, they wouldn't be able to hurt any* pokémon. That's been my point all along."
Quote instead of asterisk.
 

Starlight Aurate

Ad Jesum per Mariam | pfp by kintsugi
Location
Route 123
Partners
  1. mightyena
  2. psyduck
Ahhh we're finally in Orre! I briefly remember the first few of these scenes from what you posted on Serebii and a few characters from this part (The Three Musketeers??? I hope we'll be seeing them again!) so I'm excited to delve into this part!

And I LOVE The speculation as to why Orre is devoid of Pokemon, in that people have considered both the natural reasons (human development, pollution, ecological collapse) and supernatural (something is inherently strange and twisted about the place).

Ugh, the child convincing itself that it's going to find Mew soon and not have to let Mewtwo out at all. There's just no good way to go about this--it can't go on its quest without Mewtwo, but it can't release Mewtwo from the Master Ball without the high HIGH possibility of Mewtwo causing destruction, but betraying Mewtwo and keeping him locked away is overall a BAD idea.

And LOL I like how the child's priority on getting to an old, dilapidated building that used to create Shadow Pokemon is to make sure they can have a TV.

I really liked how Rats stood up to Mewtwo--and he respected it! I don't know whether it's because he respects Pokemon more, or he respected her honesty and her willingness to face him when the child and the other Pokemon were cowering and terrified. But she absolutely did the right thing, and it was very effective. I thought it so cute when she cuddled with the child at the end of the chapter and they can finally settle down for a rest (though whether it's a good rest, I wouldn't bet on). Glad she was able to convince Mewtwo to not drag Krane out of bed and kill him on sight!
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
Hey Negrek! It has been a terrible blitz for me in terms of outside interference! But I managed to read through some of Salvage anyway, and I'll try to get through more of it as the year progresses. I still remember chapter 1, so this time around, we're heading to chapter 2, finally returning to see what all the hubbub is about. And as usual, second person is weird and I don't quite understand the stylistic significance behind it, but I digress.

The very distant narrative style works really well for the sort of person You are. Seems kind of like he's going through the mechanics of the memories copied, but isn't really putting the feeling behind it that you'd usually see from a human-Pokemon bond. It suggests to me that he's trying to go at it from an academic point of view without any of the soul behind the practice, and that shows with how Titan reacted. The only issue is that I'm not totally sure why Titan finally agreed despite all that. For someone who understood things so academically but without feelings, it didn't really make sense without the full context... and only in chapter 2, I don't think that behavior was earned. I hindsight it might, but things are too scattered and cryptic for it to work on a first go, and I think that's important to consider.

Chapter 3, interesting... I recall from your oneshot of where Mew was discovered, Titan was also there, but I don't recall where there was any promise made, so that was probably not shown and will be here instead. What's curious instead is that despite switching identities again, Titan remains, suggesting a more special connection is retained and we were just waiting for Titan's trainer to die to get a hold of him or something. The jump from 2 to 3 is admittedly sudden and hard to follow what's going on from an overarching perspective. Like, I can fill in the blanks, and maybe the blanks aren't important, but I do like a little detail on how point A led to point B so there's some grounding in the narrative. Titan's total shift in attitude doesn't feel earned at all because of this time skip and nothing is shown at all for it. The characters feel more like vehicles to move the story along instead of characters that change meaningfully since we aren't seeing that time passing.

Chapters 4 and 5 are when things start ramping up. The prose is good as always and despite how xenofiction it is, I can get into the child's head a little more. And I'm starting to kind of get a feel for things... Sort of. It seems that You is when addressing a persona that is taken on my the child, almost like were in its head trying to psych itself up to fit the role, despite how off it is. It's almost like third-person narrative in that way, until I get further confirmation on the significance otherwise. Swapping to third person for other scenes at night is when I think there's some meaning or deliberate nature to it. But it's still unclear.

To be honest, that's sort of the main issue I have with this story. It's incredibly fast-paced and skips over things, and yet the pronoun game of saving "her" and "mother" while the narrative bends over backward to avoid clarifying anything is getting to be a bit much. That's ultimately the main mystery, yes, but why keep it shrouded for so long in this obvious way? Especially with something as personal as second person, too. These opening chapters are moving too fast to ground anything in, and usually I'd hope for the third chapter, as a rule of thumb, to give an additional hook of interest that follows up on whatever the opener has. I don't think that was fully accomplished due to how rapid it all is without solid answers.

That being said, I think my favorite two scenes, despite how cryptic everything is, would be the scene with Absol talking about vengeance and the child having fate turn against it. Gave the vibes of a classic prophetic figurehead. It helped ground things even if I didn't totally know why anything was happening, what the promise was, or any of that. The other part was when the child finally encountered Matt's father. That was another grounding scene that had a proper exchange with, well, someone properly humanlike. The "political" conflict of avoiding a kill to minimize attention was interesting. Hard to figure out how strong the child is and what the power scaling is here. Strong enough to beat a human, sure. Enough to take on a single Pokemon, kind of. But not confident against a full six. So not terribly powerful, hence all the stealth.

Not a Pokemon or a human, though, but capable of psychic powers and shape shifting. The strongest Ditto with a self-hating identity crisis? An Original God that predates Mew? The failed Amber? There aren't a whole lot of options...

Scene chronology when the child is watching TV seems unnecessarily convoluted. At first, it's after watching TV, then it goes into past perfect to go to the TV scene, except for an extended period, and then it goes into past simple while still in that TV scene, I think? And then a conversation with Absol. As much as I liked it for the conversation, the way it was arranged seemed too jumpy. Up until the meeting with Matt's father, a lot of this was jumpy. It's okay to settle into a single flowing point of time for a while!

I want to briefly comment on Absol. There was a point where Absol was talking about fate and punishment, using strange words and the narrative seemed to be trying to convey that this was something profound... but it fell flat. It was too illogical and the narrative is over the shoulder of someone who is already strange, which led to not really knowing what to think about this blue and orange morality. It's hard to take it seriously with zero reference or context to work on, due to how cryptic they are.

And then we finally meet Nate, the mighty and glorious or however he was referred to. This is indeed where things get interesting, mostly because the tempo suddenly changes from the introductory chapters and it was almost entirely grounded in the scene itself, moving chronologically and following what was happening. Even some extended dialogue between normal (...kinda) people! Now granted they were criminal Rockets who wouldn't hesitate to kill, but relatively speaking, normal!

There's a clear mystery of the shadow in the lake that made Absol want to save Nate, and of course where this would all go from here, but I did appreciate the change of pace. I'd hope for some grounding once this happens and we can follow some semblance of a plot that isn't hidden behind two layers of attraction and unrelatable xenofiction or unstated motives.

The bits with Grovyle's biology was nice as well. It was more like world building trivia but it was nice. Interesting that despite all that shape shifting magic, the brain still had to be preserved. That also explains to an extent why care is still needed, if getting hit in the brain would also be fatal still...

This is where I need to stop for this blitz, but I think I've finally reached the point in the story where, assuming it continues to follow some form of this pacing, I can finally find that grounding that was lacking in the earlier chapters. If we're hanging out with Nate as a relatively sane man now amid everyone else, I think that will help the story immensely to establish some kind of plotline. I'm only assuming this based on prior knowledge about how Nate is supposedly a very important character.

Overall, I'd say that the xenofiction was done very well in terms of its syntactical execution, while its overarching execution leaves some to be desired in terms of having a relatable protagonist. This goes double for the use of second person. There are a lot of ideas here that I get the sense are being set up for future payoff, but in turn detracts from the initial setup from a blind reader. It relies much on author reputation to keep reading rather than the work itself. Meta wise, I can see how that would pay off, but the opening chapters were harder to get through or feel motivated to read... up until chapter 6. That's when I was much more confident in being hooked on what's actually happening, and the key was having a grounding character.
 

Starlight Aurate

Ad Jesum per Mariam | pfp by kintsugi
Location
Route 123
Partners
  1. mightyena
  2. psyduck
Awright, let's get back to the SPICE of Orre!

Chapter 48

Our heroes' visit to Orre is off to a great start!
Something tells me this isn't quite true...

Ah, at least we get a MENTION of Leonard Kerrigan! It's been 300 years!

The lab being light and airy with trees is a really nice touch. It makes such a difference to work somewhere that feels slightly nature-y as opposed to the tile and metal sucking your soul away.

Big LOL at Krane admitting that he has to propose that researching ailments for Shadow Pokemon could also be beneficial for humans in order to get funding, since that's so true.

Neat bit of backstory on the Hypno! Though I notice that she's one of the Pokemon that is just called by her species and isn't given an individual name. I wonder what that bodes.

Ah, I love how you describe Agate village! Towns covered in plants and moss with streams of water running through them are my jam.

I smiled at the line, "Old people are harmless." Child, you really should know better by now than to make judgements like that!

This chapter was originally posted as an earlier part of the story in one of its previous iterations, wasn't it? I remember Mewtwo going to Celebi's shrine in Agate, blowing it up, and throwing a tantrum when Celebi reversed his actions as if they'd never happened. It was memorable for me because (A) Agate is gorgeous, (B) Celebi made a huge impression without even showing up, and (C) this is the first time we've seen Mewtwo in an emotional state like this. I feel for him when he cries; sure, his reasons can be seen as petty, especially since he also commits unrepentant murder, but constantly comparing yourself to others and having massive insecurities as a result of it is a very real thing.

I also get why the child is upset at Absol for comforting Mewtwo. It's fair if he feels a little possessive of her ability to comfort, and is beyond upset at Mewtwo for throwing a tantrum and storming off--not only blowing their cover, but potentially placing them in massive danger and wanting to kill everyone. He even enjoyed the thought of killing small children! Overall, I think this chapter shows the morally weaker side of our characters, where they don't actually stick to their guns, and I really enjoyed it. I think it's nice to see just how raw the characters are when they bare their emotions, and you did a good job of showing it.

Chapter 49

As soon as this chapter started, I felt like something was off. And then I realized--third person perspective! What a twist!

... And back to second-person once the child transforms into Jade Winstead!

Ha, I love how, even though Agate village thinks that the sightings of Mewtwo were all fake, it's still front-page headlines. Just shows what a small, uneventful town it is!

And the paper talking about how it's pushing agendas "for the safety of Orre's citizens" rings true of real-world politics: frame everything as for the peoples' benefit to get them to vote for you and hand power over to you, and then turn on them.

Ah, I love Rats' assertion here! She's not just the child's pet or employee (even though she keeps calling him "Boss," since that's clearly just affection)--she's its friend and companion! If it wants her to be part of its team, it needs to treat her like an equal. Also, the child shouldn't talk down to her so much after she successfully talked Mewtwo away from hurting all of them. That's more than it was ever able to do!
(Side note: I keep on calling the child "he" instead of "it" since I'm just so unused to calling sentient creatures by "it;" "it" feels so dehumanizing! Which I imagine was part of the reason why you chose it :P)

Wait, why can't the child Teleport them to Pyrite Town? Is there something inhibiting its ability to do that?

You mention that the buildings in Pyrite town are rusty, and I wonder why that is. Doesn't rust come from water? Or does desert air also cause metal to rust and deteriorate? From what I know (which isn't much lol), the architecture of ancient Egypt has survived almost perfectly intact for so long because nothing decays in the desert air--there's no moisture or salt or wind to wear away at the structures, and so I thought Orre would be like that. Granted, we're talking about metal here, not stone, which I imagine would react quite differently to the elements!

Mmmm, Mewtwo agreeing to the Pokemon giving him a tour of Pyrite can NOT be good news.

Titan is so cute in this chapter, especially when he helps fan the child with his wings and nearly blows everyone over. And when he mumbles about enjoying Pyrite town and Orre when everyone else lament how it's mediocre at best is really adorable!

And yes, we have the Three Musketeers once again! It's only been four years I've been waiting for them! I think this is right where I left off with the version you posted on Serebii, which means that I should finally be caught up on the right track! Mewtwo's enthusiasm at the Orre tournament is certainly chilling, to say the least. Poor child--I can't imagine the near future (or far future, for that matter) will bode well for any of them.

Chapter 50

It's official, we're past the halfway point of the story! Congrats!

The back-and-forth between the child with the Pokemon and Mewtwo while he's in his Master ball is entertaining, heh. The Three Musketeers want him to relax and enjoy himself, but NO, there's work to be done because Mewtwo wants it!

And I love that Heracross has her soda can in every scene we've seen her in so far <3

Eugh, so Mewtwo isn't just seeing the child's thoughts, but also has access to its vision and can see through his eyes? That's a whole other level of discomfort!

I like how you portray the ruthlessness of Pokemon battling in Orre, and just how precarious the situation is for Pokemon who don't have Pokeballs like Hypno and Heracross. Pokemon battling absolutely looks like it SHOULD be lethal in the games, anime and manga, and seeing Pokemon get healed instantly within their Pokeballs cheapens just how serious it can be (imo). I like works like this that explore that a little bit and show that, if a Pokemon gets an eye pecked out or an artery torn, they can be in serious trouble.

A Golduck and a Mightyena in one chapter??? 10/10 this is my favorite chapter so far.

Okay, ugh, this chapter had a really chilling ending. Seeing Mewtow happily torment Divel (funny name, by the way--is it because it's backwards for "lived," or an anagram of "devil"? Or because of the world "divel" itself?) was harsh--even though he wasn't doing conventional torture, screwing with Divel's mind to where Divel was giving away everything he knew must still have been torturous. And his death... *shudders*

I'm glad that his Golduck didn't get teleported with the child and Rats--and that Mewtwo actually chose to recall Rats instead of kill her. I wonder if he's going to hold her hostage? He didn't return to his Master Ball at the end of the chapter, so I can only imagine where the next one will start off at.

Chapter 51

The child is worrying about people noticing that Divel won't show up for meetings, but shouldn't he also worry about someone stumbling over his body? I know he said that little house was abandoned, but surely someone must find it--carnivorous Pokemon with a strong scent would probably be able to smell blood from quite a distance away. And as his body decays, that'll give off its own stink, as well.

Seeing Heracross be so nonchalant and warmly inviting Mewtwo to join their picnic and have fun with them is funny, but also really sweet!

Cute how the Three Musketeers all lived close to each other in Johto but never met until they were captured by Cipher and ended up in Orre. A very similar thing actually happened to me. When I moved away for graduate school, I became best friends with someone who was from a town 20 minutes away from my home--and we didn't meet each other until we both moved an ocean away!

Also, I notice there are mentions of lunchmeat like turkey and ham in this picnic scene--do animals like turkeys and pigs exist in this fic? Or are those the terms for meat from Pokemon like Combusken and Grumpig? :eyes:

I'm curious about the final scene of the chapter, where Mewtwo and the child are talking about the "other me." Was this something that was discussed earlier in the fic? I've been reading this over the course of years, and so I've forgotten quite a lot. This part surprised me, and is very intriguing! I wonder what will happen to the child's "other me" and which version of it we'll be seeing more of.

This was such a sweet but sad chapter! The Three Musketeers trying to make Mewtwo happy and be inclusive were really endearing--too bad Mewtwo is too traumatized and bitter to accept their generosity and just makes it miserable for all of them. I foresaw things going badly when Mewtwo said he wanted to swim. Dunking your entire body in water when you've never touched it before (especially if you can't even float!) is a BAD idea for anyone. I feel kinda bad for him and understand why he's traumatized and upset by it. I hope he has a better experience with the water someday! And good job at fleshing out your characters and making them feel whole--I feel bad for a murderous psychopath!

Chapter 52
Okay, until I read the opening to this chapter, I had no idea that Salvage was being posted to the Thousand Roads website ^_^; Well, now I know!

I like the small note at the beginning where you mention taht Mewtwo rests but he doesn't sleep. I've thought recently about how, in a way, humans don't need sleep (insomniacs can still function to varying degrees, and I was still in school full-time when I would have multiple sleepless nights) but we need to rest. The religious connotations/lack thereof are neat to think about (Christians believe that God rested after creating, but He never slept). Sleep is very strange and very interesting!

Interesting that Absol lied about the Great Nathaniel MOrgan's life needing to be saved! I'm glad the child is arguing with her about this tbh. I don't like "all-knowing" characters who have their mysterious ways but refuse to be open and helpful when they have the ability to. I'd much prefer characters to just be open about things.

It was sad when the gang left Tyranitar--you can tell that Tyranitar does want some company and others to interact with, even occasionally, but he chooses to not press for it and the child decides it's too dangerous to offer for him to join.

I do think the child is a bit naive when it comes to reading the Shadow Pokemon and saying they must not realize that Mewtwo's murderous. They've seen Pokemon at their worst--the child noticed how brutal the Pokemon battles were in Orre, and these Shadow Pokemon have surely seen fights to the death. With all of their interacting with Mewtwo, they must realize how dangerous he is, and that makes their efforts to soften him up and open his heart all the more endearing.

And delving more into Mewtwo's inner thoughts--he doesn't admit that he's lonely, but here we can definitely see that he is. I'm sure that, if I was with Mewtwo, I would want to smack him upside the head for being so full of self-pity and not doing anything to try and solve his problem; not accepting friends or the efforts of others to try and get to know him (love the comment on how so many TV shows lecture about friendship btw!). He has a point, though; I find that, as life goes on, all friendships fade away, and only familial relationships stay. It's a difficult reality to swallow, but a lot of people will replace their friends with romantic partners or other friends, and so making close relationships does hurt more in the long run. As it is, I pity Mewtwo from the safety of my computer screen.

Chapter 53
When you have the pre-chapter note as "the story picks up quite a bit after this," you're just making it so TANTALIZING why do you do this to me.

A Machamp drummer! That's such a great hobby for a Machamp to get into.

I wonder why the child chose to make his hand intangible to unlock the door from the inside rather than just making his entire body intangible and passing through.

Agh, child, you weren't supposed to kill the human! Now all of your complaining to Absol about "I'm better than Mewtwo because I don't kill people" is going to be worthless because you DO kill people and you're no better than him. I imagine that's what Mewtwo wanted, to prove that the child doesn't have any moral high ground over him. It's clever on his part but could have been avoided by the child!

Anyway, not much to say about this chapter. Ince you had mentioned that the next one was where the story would really pick up, I figured that this chapter would be quieter and less eventful (if still a bit gruesome). As always, I appreciate the Three Musketeers’ repeated attempts to break through to Mewtwo and introduce him to new things in the hopes that he’ll eventually find something he enjoys (they probably could’ve chosen something less niche and less controversial than grunge music though, haha). And Mewtwo enjoying his card game with them! I imagine he only enjoyed it because it fed his ego, but it was nice to see him take amusement in something non-violent for once

Chapter 54

Okay your promise of a truckload of cookies for pointing out the flaw in the child's plan will have me on the eager lookout :eyes:

Flaw #1: refusing to leave a person's house when they tell you to and entering without their consent.
Flaw #2: disguising as a completely new face and expecting Hypno to recognize you AND expecting Hypno to know you murdered someone.
Flaw #3: blatantly dodging all of Hypno's attempts to ask why you're in her home and desperately try to make small talk.
Flaw #4: insult Mewtwo when Hypno says she wants to help him.
Flaw #5: insist that you're being normal to the point where Hypno accepts that it's normal for you and starts to realize what you are

Hm, some of Hypno's descriptions of what it was like to be a shadow Pokemon sound like having depression ("it doesn't feel bad... It's being nothing") and trauma ("the only time that exists is now, it's always been now, and it's always going to be now"). I've been through both of those experiences and they were absolutely awful. Poor Hypno!

I LOVE the description about Shadow Pokemon getting more violent the closer they are to being better--I don't know if you intended this, but it can definitely read as an analogy for healing from mental trauma. Things have to get worse before they get better is often true, especially when processing traumatic events! It happened to me in my journey of trauma and healing, and it's so neat to see it described here.

Um, so is Hypno's trainer, Alina, just standing there and watching while Mewtwo is talking to her Pokemon and someone who looks like a human???? Aaaaand...

Flaw #6: deciding to get rid of Mewtwo while he's in the Master Ball.

Has the child forgotten that other creatures with psychic abilities can still sense Mewtwo's presence?

Oof. Poor child. Feeling like it had to go through with murder under MEwtwo's pressure, then being so horrified by what it did that it tried to run from Mewtwo, causing Mewtwo to get angry and insist on punishment, and trying to get rid of Mewtwo. It's truly stuck in a circle of never-ending trauma, and tbh I feel bad for it. I can't imagine this is going to end well--part of me feels that the child won't be able to go through with this and actually get rid of the Master Ball, and another part of me thinks it'll get intercepted before trying. We'll see!

Chapter 55

Oh, what a kicker! Absol knew where Mewtwo was the whole time! Did she know where it was because of Fate? Or did she watch the child? Or can she also sense Mewtwo's presence?

Ugh, NO! Don't try fighting Mewtwo after Absol brought him back. If it was best for Mewtwo to stay out of your business, then he would have still been buried in the sand! Fighting him is only going to tick him off at the very least and likely end up with yourselves getting killed.

Ah, what a chapter! It was really heartwarming when the child ordered Titan to take the Pokeballs and leave, and Titan tearfully fighting back until the Pokeballs were forced into his hands. I love seeing trainers make big sacrifices for their Pokemon (as you can probably tell, since you're familiar with my writing, heh). And the child selflessly putting the Pokemon's well-being before his own was a selfless act after he had spent so long making poor decisions and acting out of its own selfishness. And the child is realizing that, in a way, she holds more power than Mewtwo does--not as far as battling, of course, but Absol can see the End of things (though she's not always truthful about it). It kinda runs into a theme of Knowledge is Power, considering that even Mewtwo reveres her and won't do anything to raise a hand against her.

The last few sentences were painful, if only because it was apparent that the psychic damper had shut off right before the child and Mewtwo recognized it. I can only imagine that Mewtwo's blinding rate and fury was enough to knock the child out--I imagine he has a really rough punishment lying ahead of him.

Chapter 56
By "someone we haven't seen in quite some time now," I hope you mean Leonard Kerrigan!

Considering that Absol has had visions of Mewtwo murdering people and the child being horribly tortured, I can understand why she said she gets no pleasure from her visions and has tried to resist serving Fate. I find it entertaining (and understandable) that, while Absol tells her backstory on how she tried resisting Fate and was punished for it, the child is focused on thinking of how it can get water and start to feel better.

I think one of the most worrisome things about Absol is that we don't know when she is and isn't being truthful. She lied earlier about the Great Nathaniel Morgan being important to get the child to save his life; how can we know that she isn't lying about other things, too?

Aww, I feel for the child when Absol says it won't end up with Mew. Though I do think she could have gone without giving it that detail...

Ah, it's sad to see that the child desperately wanted to win in a fight against Heracross because it wanted to feel like it was one of them--it equated winning with belonging. Though I think it would do much better if it accepted its place at the bottom rank to start and slowly tried to work its way up, rather than declaring it wanted to be the leader and throwing a tantrum when things didn't go its way.

OH SHOOT IT'S THAT SABLEYE! You're right, we haven't seen her in a long time! I wonder what she's up to in this strange house!

I like the quieter feel of this chapter (up until the last scene). Hearing about Absol's background is touching, since we know that she doesn't enjoy her visions and suffered a lot for trying to run from them. I feel it was some much-needed backstory from her. And I'm glad that Heracross was able to hold the child down in a fight, as I think it helped the child process more and recognize what's actually hurting it rather than just winning and getting its way. With a closer like this, it's on to the next chapter!

Chapter 57
Oh good LORD, the child stabbed a Rocket agent with its own spine! :nyahorror:

Oh, I thought that Mewtwo was still back at the factory and just sent the child to the house alone to bring back Evelyn. I didn't realize he was actually with it until the Rocket members start attacking! Why is it that, the one time he would've been better off staying home, he comes along???

LOL at the child not understanding basic hospitality rules--yes, you supply your guests with water when they ask, not make them get it for themselves!

Also, I would totally want to watch the science documentary about Deoxys. That stuff is so cool! On that note, it's interesting that Deoxys is considered a virus when it's debatable as to whether viruses are actually living organisms or not.

Another chapter based on the characters' mental states--particularly Mewtwo's! I admit, I think it was edifying to have Hypno and Noctowl tell Mewtwo straight that he needs to get help, and that killing everyone causing his problems won't make his problems go away. While there is truth that we don't deserve the harm that comes to us, and people are treated unfairly all the time, I do believe that, at some point in our lives, we have to choose to make things better for ourselves and push forward to heal, not just wallow in self-pity. Mewtwo's done a lot of wallowing and self-pitying throughout the story, and I can only hope that he, at one point, will heed the other Pokemon's words and start to heal and mature.

And that's a wrap! I'm finally all caught up--yay! Thanks for sharing this fic, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes us!
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
Since SOMEONE hasn't made everything available on TR I'll post my reviews here... :P

I have apparently already read chapters 1-6? I had to reread them because my memory is utterly borked, but thats good because refreshing myself is always fun. I feel like it got even more enjoyable the second (third?) time around. Anyways.

Oh man I picked a nice place to pop back in.

The Child and the great Nathaniel Morgan have a friendly conversation and agree to help each other with a fun badge quest! Woohoo! This is shaping up to be the world's grouchiest swear filled road trip / Ash betrayed AU fic (because you will never convince me that's not what's going on)

Honestly it's such a treat to read this first conversation between them. Nate is clearly posturing so hard and trying to stay tough and angry but I'm sure he's unhappy about getting beat up and called a traitor. Speaking of, between that beating and the followup "healed wrong" part that is some juicy whump material.

There's a generous sprinkling of really interesting things going on. Softboiled from the child specifically works on humans too somehow. So something about the child's moves are also different. (vague brief theory, maybe humans have aura or something so something about the childs softboiled is formed with different energy that makes it compatible with humans?)

I also appreciated just how stubborn and opposed to all this Nate is. The fact that he refused almost right up until the end makes a lot of sense hah. I wonder if we'll get some Nate POV that will lend some direct light on exactly what changed. Although I can certainly hazard some guesses. I cannot wait to see how these two walking disasters will interact.

This human is a constant disappointment.
loooll I bet.
"I told you before. I am me.
This is such a fascinating way the Child refers to themself (we all know you're Ash ketchum!!)
"I am not your evil twin. If we are twins, you are clearly the evil one because you are a member of Team Rocket."
Excellent logic
A slow smile spreads over his face, a horrible one, too wide. "Sure, why not? Buddies for life, right, Evil Twin?" To your confused horror, he starts giggling, madly and convulsively.
Nate is having one heck of a great day huh
"Oh, I don't know," he chokes. "I'm just getting told off by some asshole mutant thing that looks like me and claims it saved my life so it can take the fucking League challenge and become a pokémon master. It's all just so fucking sane, I can't take it anymore!"
ASH KETCHUM
"Listen, pal. You've made good friends with some bad people, but if we stick together, we'll get through this thing just fine. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours, capiche? Whaddaya say? Partners?"
This killed me. Oh boy the Child is really a piece of work. Imagining this voice switch in my head is a trip
"I have no interest in your body. I simply do not wish to turn my back on you."
:mewlulz: This killed me. The Child is just a pure gremlin.
struggling for a few seconds with the childproof cap.
Because you're a child? :mewlulz:
, then knocks the lot back with a swig from his water bottle.
Thank you for not dry swallowing the pills good grief. I see that sometimes and it drives me crazy how does anyone do that??
For a time the two of you walk in silence, and you bask in the sense of being on your trainer's journey at last.
The worlds most normal trainer journey
Maybe it's because you're still far from the route; pokémon who want to battle trainers usually hang around near humans, after all.
Oooo I do love this detail a lot, its always been my belief as well that pokemon route are basically testing grounds in that same way
"Trainers do not take the ferry,"
I love the childs continual insistence upon doing things the 'trainer' way
"Team Rocket took them, of course."
: ( Mightyena....
Then he reaches out, and the great Nathaniel Morgan, finding himself confronted by dozens of bulb-tipped tentacles, scrambles backwards, nearly falling as he tries to get to his feet in the same motion. "Hey! What the fuck?"

"Oh. He wants to shake hands."
Lol the mental image of a tentacruel who wants to shake hands is great
"I don't even want to fucking know what you mean by 'put me to sleep,' do I?"
man this sucks for Nate but having an arsenal of moves sure do be helpful
He lies half-curled on War's bell, eyes pressed tight shut as he breathes fast and shallow, shuddering convulsively.
Man I feel so bad for Nate though. This is just one bad time after another but he has no choice and nowhere to go
You laugh and toss Thunderstorm's pokéball out over the ocean. The magneton appears in a shower of sparks
I have been deceived I was hoping this was a Pikachu. Guess I'll have to remand my theory about Ash to say he uh... never caught Pikachu and got Magneton. yeah. makes sense.
"Oh, right. Uh huh. The fucking pokémon language."
oooo interesting. For a second I thought this meant he didn't believe in a universal pokemon language but it sounds like hes just skeptical Child understands it
you don't even want to think about all the shows you're missing out on.
Real talk this is the biggest problem with being a trainer. Imagine!!! on the road for weeks at a time!
"Wait. You had a motherfucking car battery in your bag this entire time?"

"Obviously," you say as you clip the black contact to one of the magneton's magnets, the red to another. Thunderstorm lets out a contented buzz as current starts to flow.
Awww this is an adorable mental image. Also a ncie detail of the level of care required for a bunch of different pokemon
So either they were wrong and you are as bad as any of them, or you were lying, in which case you are a bad person anyway."
The childs grasp of morality is flawless
The Rocket sneers at you. "Yeah, go on and say it a little fucking louder.
Ooohohoohoh love how it switched from 'the great Nathaniel Morgan' to 'the Rocket'. That kind of stuff is so juicy

A interesting buldup chapter. The Child is pressing on with their goal and trying very hard to do things the Trainer way. Meanwhile Nate is having the absolute worst day of his life. I really enjoy the interactions between them, Nate being Nate and the Child being... well very much a child, but with absolutely monstrous powers.

I liked that we got to see some downtime with the team once they reached their destination. I'll be very interested to see how everything goes when the child tries to get the rest of the gym badges.

You neither know nor care. What matters is that when you were twenty-two years old,
Oh good because I was gonna ask how old Nate is but I'm glad this wa brought up
So the journey passes unbroken either by fucking stupid detour battles or unwelcome comments from your guest,
Okay I feel like Nate's own speech patterns are starting to bleed into the Child here, hah
"No, I guess not. But you'll get your turn against Blue, right?
ooo interesting, so Blue is the standing champion... I guess this takes place in an amalgamation similar to the games...
"It--you--" You watch with interest as his face reddens, and he clutches helplessly at the air. Finally he manages to choke out, "You spent all my fucking dough? All of it? And now you have the fucking nerve to ask why I didn't have more for you to steal?"
Oh boy oh dear
He clenches his fist again and turns away from you. "I dunno, maybe because being a Rocket grunt is only one step up from flipping burgers? The fuck did you think?"

"I thought stealing stuff would pay better. I thought that was the point."
Okay the Child may have an itneresting view on morality but I feel like he kinda makes a good point I'll be curious to see the answer to. Cause bruh if you gon make a living stealing why not get a lotta dough (I am sure there is more to the story though)
"How come they keep working even when there's nobody around to say them?"
ohhhh thats an interesting thing about pokemon lamguage, if I'm reading this right?
I've always been of the opinion that pokemon language works on some kinda of aura level too, not just vocalization only. Like they can communicate a degree of emotion and intent that goes beyond words, so if it only works in close proximity that would be interesting, as opposed to human language which can be audio only.
Or Im reading way too into it :P
"Huh." To your annoyance, all he does after that is stare at his knees for a while.

"Jealous," you conclude.
I be something else is going through his head
Once, challengers would have stared up at the walls of a caldera, stood suspended over a pool of lava pumped up from the volcano's heart.
Oh good so the safety hazard gym is gone :mewlulz:
But you'd expected War to carry you all the way through the battle, and he's barely upright, sagging and bruised.
oh my gosh the Child really thought he could do a full sweep lol
"You didn't really come in here thinking you could sweep me with a water-type, did you?" Blaine says with a laugh. A laugh.
Koa 🤝 the child
trying to sweep with one particular mon
Charizard versus magmar. You hadn't expected it to come down to this, or not as far as you can remember. It's fitting, though. You know exactly what move to use here. You taught it to Titan yourself not long ago, while you raced each other through the sky above your island home. "Titan," you say, "seismic toss."
ASH KETCHUM!!! SEEEE
"Fan of Red, eh?" Blaine asks while Magmar straightens up. "Ever since he came through here I can't tell you how many people've tried to pull that stunt on us. Better luck next time! Magmar, confuse ray!"
Stop harshing my vibe :mewlulz:
You'll find your brother. You'll save your mother. And you'll be standing in that victor's ring in Indigo Stadium, listening to the whole world cheer for you. It's only a matter of time.
Oh we'll see....
This was a fascinating chapter. Lots of great character moments in the setup. The pillowfight in particular was hilarious and sweet, and a little sad. This Child creature is just a kid really still, trying to accomplish their dreams and not knowing what else to do, and saddled with these absurd powers. But they just want to be a trainer and save their friends
Nate continues to be a delight to read. Its kind of fun that since we're solely in the Child's POV, to speculate what's going on in his head, based upon half remembered bits of stuff from BLC.

Then we get our first gym battle and I have to say it was really solid. Great battle writing, great character moments and totally concrete evidence the Child is Ash Ketchum. I like how the child is both capable in some ways but clearly rather inexperienced in others, even in the midst of battle. They have strong pokemon, and know some basics of battle, but are also still very childlike in their approach to fights, even with the expectation they could sweep Blaine, or the impulsive desire to seismic toss Magmar.

"All I'm saying is, that battle? Fucking sucked."
LOLLLOL get wrecked Child
"I told him to use rage, and he did. That is called strategy."
No you told him to use rage after he was already raging :mewlulz:
"You have no idea how good he is at battling. Don't be overconfident."
Bro listen to your pokemon
Rats takes off at an angle, ready to jink around Titan's attack. But it doesn't come. The whirlwind of fire you'd expected to bloom around Rats whips up with Titan at its center instead.
Ohoohoho strategy, nice
He shrugs and smirks at you again. "Huh. Not like I was really expecting you to keep your fucking word." He uncrosses his arms and wanders back to his spot at the table, followed by Titan's morose gaze. "But guess what, Freak? I already got my fucking reward. And it's that you're never. Ever. Going to live this one down."
ehehehe I am kind of happy for Nate here tbh, glad he gets something to rub in the child's face
"Why the hell shouldn't I? Who's the one who just got fucking curbstomped? I know what I'm talking about, Freak. At least I know more than you."
He's not wrong
"You'll what?" He leans forward now, food forgotten, and lowers his voice so you have to strain to hear. "Set me on fire? Make my head explode? In front of everyone here?"

There's maybe a dozen other people in the cafeteria, humans and their pokémon. The two of you have a table to yourself, shoved up against the wall, but it's true--there are plenty of witnesses.
ohohoh its pretty fun to see Nate leveraging his situation more
"My brother is Mewtwo."
OHH
I kind of wondered for a second but yeah that makes sense. This is a pretty crazy AU, Ash and Mewtwo as brothers, I like it :P

That was a short but one heck of a spicy chapter! The highlight of it for me really is Nate getting a chance to show that he knows what he's doing. I really liked his strategy during the battle, it was very clever. The fact that he was able to so effectively use one of the child's own pokemon in such a way to basically dismantle them really speaks volumes.

Also poor Titan feels like such a nervous wreck sometimes. Guy just wants to eat ice cream but he's stuck in this crazy situation
But oh boy oh boy??? So i guess I misread, Blue must be the 8th gym leader still and Red is champion. So Mewtwo is the self proclaimed 'brother' of the Child. I bet this will go over very itnerestingly when they finally meet. I can't imagine Mewtwo in any version will exactly be ecstatic to hang out with the Child. But he'll get roped in somehow.

Also dadgum you sure picked a heck of a time to cut off the chapter, smh.

"Nawwwww." He smirks as he traces an invisible "R" over his chest. "The fuck is that? How the hell would I know, huh?"

"Really? I thought you were the one who brought it up in the first place." You frown. This is going to take even longer than you thought. "Several years ago there was a scientific expedition to South America..."

"No, no, no. Skip it, Freak. I was fucking joking, God."

"What?" You narrow your eyes at him. "Joking about what?"

"I mean I know what the goddamn Mewtwo project is, okay? For Christ's sake."

"That was a joke? It was a lie. How is lying funny?"
The childs lack of ability to understand sarcasm is hilarious
"If I explain about my brother, will you shut up?"

"Yeah."
Also thank goodness for Nate I was getting thirsty for answers lol

"And what? So it will murder on command, then turn around and kill me the moment there's a mechanical failure? No, Fuji. I want a weapon I can rely on, not one that's as dangerous to me as it is to everyone else."
smart man

"Thanks," she says, wiping away tears. "Thanks, all of you. We're--we're gonna do it. We're gonna save Mew and get rid of the Rockets together, okay? We're a team."
this is going to go great
(My son! She can hear him clearly now, yelling for her. Let me go! I have to get him out! I can't leave him behind!)
Oh this is so sad...

By that time, Mew's power had already saved her life, dissolved the bullet and restarted her heart. It continued to spread, and as it did she changed, in brain as much as in body. The person who would eventually awake was someone else entirely.
Ahhhh I thought so

"Fucking... You're saying you're going on some kind of stupid quest because Mew gave you fucking superpowers and you're following some shitty dreams that are telling you what to do next?"
Okay it does sound extra wild when you put it like that lol

Blue--you can hardly believe you're really going to be fighting him, the legendary Blue--doesn't stand a chance.
U sure about that

WHEW wowee lad thats a story. I'm glad I had the chance to read Little God before all this, it adds a nice fun bit of 'uh oh spaghettio' context to all this. It's one heck of a tale but it definitely seems to line up with everything the child believes and explains a good deal of whats going on (though I'd hardly be surprised if some interesting new spicy bits come up).

So as far as I understand, Sarah catches mew as during the events of Little God. She is allowed to reurn home with Mew, and for awhile everything is fine, she gets to have fun and hang out and be chill. But then over time of course, as humans do, they don't want to be nice anymore, and start trying to keep Mew around way more.
And then eventually Sarah gets sick, Mewtwo is created, and things really go off the rails. Her parents try to send Sarah away to Sinnoh since I'm sure they were using her as leverage, but unfortunately that goes wrong too and I think Owen's brother dies. Yikes.

I think of my favorite bits in the story was seeing everything filtered through the parents eyes, particularly the part where they try to send her away, and then she's brought back. As the audience we can tell how badly everything is going, but she's a child so she doesn't really get it.

After that she chooses to try and free Mew only to get caught and killed in the ensuing chaos. Except not quite because she died for a bit, only for Mew to use some of her powers and bring her back. Which apparently led to developing Mew-like abilities. Pretty hardcore tbh, and gruesome.

Absol appeared mysteriously and helped the Child learn to use their powers. And then they set out to try and regain their lost team and then eventually rescue their mother.

Too bad Nate doesn't believe any of it. I always find logic/science/plausibility in fiction to be really funny. In the context of the pokemon world here, Nate knows Mewtwo is real. Genetic experiements and all the shapeshifting nonsense the kid is doing? Fine, real. The Child actually being a result of Mew's tampering? absurd. Its not unrealistic its just really funny the different contortions the human mind will do. That somehow humans making a Mew clone is something that makes sense but Mew being able to do some crazy stuff is implausible.

Fifteen minutes into your gym battle, things are starting to look grim.
The comedic juxtaposition of this is fantastic

"Looks like your raticate doesn't want to. Go on, leave it in there. Alakazam'll take it out in a couple of seconds, save you having to send it to get wiped later."
I see Blue is as friendly and charming as ever :mewlulz:
I love it

"Bite when you see an opening," you say.
flawless strategy

You straighten up and try to act surprised, but no one's watching you, and they miss your beautifully executed gasp of shock.
oh my gosh

It would be inconvenient if the gym leader went and died on you in the middle of your battle. Would they still give you the badge if that happened?
good to see reasonable priorities
display. "Riptide!" a hulking poliwrath calls to a feraligatr stomping along with another group of pokémon. "Fancy seeing you here. So your witless trainer actually managed that eighth badge in the end?"

"Witless? Your human's no prize either, Taddy." The feraligatr's grinning as he says it, looking back over his shoulder. "Roger's a better battler than Vic'll ever be, and you know it."

"He may have won last time, but that was before I evolved," the poliwrath says. "You'd better hope we're not in for a rematch, you big lizard, unless you're cruising to lose even more teeth."

"Bring it on, you overgrown frog."
heh, I loved this exchange. its funny to see some rivalries between pokemon as well

You barely register the sodden mess of feathers on your chest as a fearow before the bird's beak spears down, stabbing clear through your shoulder and into the earth below.
Uh oh spaghettio!

I have to say, I was wondering the whole time how on earth Child was gonna get the final gym badge, because there was no way they were gonna be able to actually beat Blue. Or learn a lesson about preparing and learning tactics and strategies and moves. Its funny to me how bad they want to be a trainer and do things the trainer way yet it also hasn't occured to them that trainers, you know, train their pokemon. :P Oh Child...

Of course, given the circumstances I'm hardly surprised. And its not unrealistic. They're going through the motions playacting at being a trainer without a comprehensive grasp of what that even means. Come on kid, every great anime show has a training arc!

And now I see we seem to have an ambush on our hands...

"Hey." The emolga's sitting on one of the Rocket's shoulders. The human ignores her, firing a dart that bounces off armor plating. "Not thinking of running, are you? Getting tired, not feeling up to a fight like this?"

Your concentration wavers, half from the emolga's words, half with the recognition of what they mean. Oh, not that. Not now
That was a fun depiction of the move taunt, particularly that its based on the energy behind the words as well

The marowak throws her bone at you, but it's an unsteady toss, doesn't even come close to hitting you.
[...]
Then the world cracks open, a silent explosion rocking your whole body. You black out for a moment, waking to find yourself collapsed atop the marowak.
At first I was confused but then I realized it must have been bonemerang, which was pretty clever. It was a great POV centric depiction of it where the use of the move gets almost missed because the Child themselves didn't pay it enough mind until it came back around

Oh man this was a heck of a chapter, all fighting all the way down. I see Nate shockingly didn't warm up to his situation and grow adeep fondness for the Child after only a week. Can't believe this. :sadbees: I gotta say all that fighting was actually really fun. It was cool to see the Child get into a proper fight, and being both kind of OP and not OP all at once. They're stacked on moves and can heal and do all kinds of crazy stuff but they can also still fall prey to tactics and ambushes and smart plays.

It was really enjoyable all around, particularly some absolutely peak concussion and KO whump near the end. I'm not bias but thats some good stuff.

"No! It's not the same. You know it's not the same." The child bares its teeth and shivers, tears welling at the corners of its eyes, maybe from anger, or maybe... not. "Even that stupid Rocket is a person. It's not fair. Why should he get to be one when I'm not?"
Its really interesting how much the child views identity. Assuming it is true that this is/was Sarah, they no longer see themselves as her, but will gladly take other peoples identities, yet the idea of just crafting on for themselves doesn't feel real. Like the only way for it to mean something is for it to be given, as opposed to made, whereas most peoples identities aren't really set in stone but made over the course of their life.

The child's heart is racing again, its breath hitching in its throat. It didn't happen, the child reminds itself. It didn't happen, it won't happen, the child won't let it happen. Next time the child will win, and then it won't have to worry any more.
Love me some desperation and denial

"I would find you eventually. I do not have to be told where something is to find it."
Very confident for someone who can't find Mew though... :P

"I wanted to be a real person, but Absol wouldn't let me go back and get my pokédex. She says I don't need a real identity if I'm not going to be in the tournament."
Oh Child, you went through all that trouble just to realize you should have skipped it, you silly thing

"I'm not done! And the worst part about it is you act like it's all because of your goddamn mission. Which it's not. Admit it, you just wanted to do the gym challenge real badly, so you made out like oh, you totally had to, like it wasn't completely obvious you were just in it for yourself. You can't justify whatever the hell you want by saying it's part of your 'mission,' Boss."
Oh I do love me some spicy callout arguements

"You're supposed to be my friend."

She doesn't meet your eyes. "You're supposed to be mine."
OH SPICY SPICY

Man this whole discussion hits hard. Rats might have a lot of bravado but she's also soft and good and just wants to make the child see whats happening. But the child is so wrapped up in their own thing they just don't see at all.

Fascinating. Mewtwo looks the child over with purple-glowing eyes. So you alter how you perceive the world.
Ohhhhhhh okay yeah that makes sense... that is fascinating. I kind of subconsciously knew this is what was going on (what with the Grovyle thing for example) but reading it now it clicked consciously. Very interesting.

You're certainly different than I recall. Because of course I remember you, little thief--one who would have stolen Mother.
Uh oh

I have to say i did not expect to get here to Mewtwo so soon but I am glad we did. I half expected some more shenanigans to ensue or unexpcted slowdowns, or perhaps even diverging for a rocket escape arc but I do enjoy me some snappy and quickly paced stories.

I was kind of confused at the start with how the Child escaped? I guess Absol helped them? I guess apparently the Child almost died and that allowed Absol to find them and bring them to safety? Although the later wording made me think the Child escaped somehow on their own? Felt kind of unclear, although perhaps the gap is intentional. Or just doesn't need explaining that deeply. Could just be me though, sometimes I miss details when I read!

I am very excited to see where we go now that Mewtwo has been added to the mix. I expect Rocket might be on both their tails now. Also thats an interesting device, a Masterball that can be linked to the pokemon inside it like that. I kind of feel like Mewtwo was maybe lying about what the chips do honestly. I trust at least one was for tracking but I wonder if the others do anything else.

You knew that, of course. They're dead. They're all dead. They can't hurt you now.
Of course. and you're fine. Everything is fine.

Honestly. They're just dead people. There's no reason to get so worked up. They're dead. They can't hurt you. They're dead.
Desperately telling themselves over and over that they're dead and this is fine and they can't be hurt is so juicy, particularly the focus on 'can't hurt me' to justify it all

By now the pokémon are starting to realize what's happened. One spearow laughs as he turns, claws open and flashing, and latches onto a Rocket's face, tearing with his beak.
Oh it's interesting to see how some of the pokemon turned on their trainers the instant they coudl... I wonder what coerced them before, threats of violence perhaps?

It takes you a second to realize he's talking to you. And no, you guess not, but you don't want to get involved without understanding the situation.
I find it interesting how after seeing all the carnage, the Child's mind has really started to change. before they were cavalier and black and white about morality and how Rockets are all bad, but here they're hesitant and suddnely much less keen on seeing everyone torn to bits.

The League? What do you mean, 'the League?'
Oh man Mewtwo must have been kept in captivity awhile to not understand what the league is... oof
"Scientists wear lab coats, Mewtwo. Haven't you ever seen any movies?"
Oh my gosh lol. Flawless logic once again

You dare stand there and tell me I don't understand? You, who has never been captured, who has no idea what it means to be someone else's property?
This is so chilling and heartbreaking to me because there's clearly plenty of good partnerships in this world but Mewtwo is clearly treated like property still, which is awful (although, given what he did as well is all just an awful mess)

You start to take a step, then groan and lean your head against the wall a moment instead, the cool metal giving you a small measure of relief. Wait. Calm down. There has to be another way out of this.
Its a nice change of pace to see the Child really properly stop and think logically through a problem

You hope the great Nathaniel Morgan hasn't gone far. For once you'll be happy to see him.
I see Nate is in for another good time :unquag:

Man this was a terrifying/horrifying chapter. The absolute carnage. Mewtwo truly does not care. Can't say I blame him too much, given his history. It was equally kind of scary but very interesting, especially because it was quite interesting to see the Child properly encountering some carnage caused by an outside force. Despite the carnage they've inflicted, clearly this has had a great degree of impact on them.

I am sure stealing the Child's beloved team will go over swimmingly...

Dreadfully sorry about that. I didn't see you there. Would you please--"
Ohmg this ultra polite Steelix is the best

"Ticket... back on the team... right? Valuable... for parts... at least..."
I wonder why he wanted a ticket back on the team. Desperation, or some ulterior motive?

"Put me down!" the steelix is yelling in the distance. "Please! Stop! You don't know what you're doing! Madam, I must insist that you--"
Awwww poor Steelix, he just wants to be nice and polite

You're pretty sure both his lungs are working again now; he's got no reason to be as dramatic as all that.
yikes
yeah turns out humans really enjoy having two working lungs...

Then comes the shouting, then comes the running, and you wrestle your shirt off, only just remembering to wrap yourself in the illusion of a pidgey before feathers start to flow down your torso.
Huh did not realize the child can also form illusions... fascinating

"Have you tried asking them for their opinion?" the child asks, wincing at the un-noise.

You think they'd want to go with you, do you? Mewtwo asks, and the child is sure they would, of course it is--and thoughts of Rats rise unbidden.
What unfortunate timing for the Rats thing. Oh Child if you only could have been a little sooner, this wouldn't be an issue, because i am sure they would probably stand with you

At least the great Nathaniel Morgan's breathing with both lungs now.
Thats usually nice. two lungs is good

I have a job for it.
More fun times for Nate i see

Once again Nate got roped into a good time with the children of mew. He really and truly cannot catch a break, can he?
Its fascinating to watch how the dynamic is ever shifting between Mewtwo and the Child. Mewtwo either can't or doesn't want to just kill them, but also is clearly incredibly irritated by their constant insitance they're some kind of team. In particular I feel like the word 'team' or concept of one must be so maddening and triggering for Mewtwo, if Red ever used that.

Also, Red must be a real piece of work in this canon maybe? It doesn't sound much like he made any attempt to befriend or help Mewtwo? Or perhaps there's a lot more context here than we know about.

As for Nate, I wonder if the reason he wanted to get back in with Rocket and was in the storeroom had to do with getting his team back. If he really cares about them, and I think he vaguely does, that would make for a good motive I think. Gotta say I reaally really wonder what made Nate fall in with Rocket, from previous and future context i understand he's no slouch at battling.

It sleeps in dribs and drabs and fitful bursts as day unspools into evening, exploding into panicked wakefulness like a drowning person who now and again breaks the surface long enough to suck down a few burning gulps of air.
Salvage is full of juicy prose but this one is especially nice. Very effective

Mewtwo's draped over top of his boulder, stretched out in a patch of sun with his head resting in his hands.
What a cute murder kitty

When he finds nothing there the human closes his eyes again, grimacing and letting out a hissed expletive.

That's right. You're defenseless without your slaves, aren't you?
Ahhh yeaahh I bet he did do it all to get back his team. kind of a fun parallel between the Child and Nate

The glow disappears, and the great Nathaniel Morgan sways in place, then collapses on hands and knees, letting out a sob of pain.
Oh my gosh Nate can't catch a break he's just your punching bag

Why did you bother getting anything for the human?
Interesting... do I detect a smidge of the Child feeling bad?

The clone drops the package of fish, deformed but still sealed, onto the boulder, then fires a narrow burst of psychic power at it.
Lol such an efficient way to open a package

Yes, I suppose it's like those things.
Right Mewtwo, those things you defffiinittely know allll about

The great Nathaniel Morgan lets out a choked giggle, then gives Mewtwo a sour look and goes back to picking at crumbs in the bottom of the cracker box.
I think Nate is really starting to lose it. Not that I can blame him

We will kill no one. We will do nothing to draw the Rockets' suspicion.
Right. Sure. Okay. because y'all track record stellar so far lol

You see? True power does not threaten. It acts. Now. This is what we'll do.
Such a mewtwo thing to say, hah. He's not entirely wrong in this sequence either. All nate can do is make threats, the Child should reign in its impulsiveness a little

I did tell you to sit down, something says in your head instead of in your ears
Oh man that was a pretty trippy but effective way to convey that. I was confused for a second but then I realized it was all a series of visions/memories. I rather like that, what an interesting way

You could go back to Saffron for a bit, find a store that's open late, and get him a blanket or something. But that would be silly, wouldn't it? He'll probably survive the night just fine without.
Do i detect a smidge of pragmatic empathy?

I may not be able to kill you, but there is much within my power that--
Oh so Mewtwo can't kill the Child? Literally? Like beyond his power I wonder or can't as in its impractical or unreasonable for some reason. i definitely suppose perhaps the child could be strong enough to make it hard to do but I wonder if there's more to it.

It seems now that the lovely buddy squad has a fun new goal. Use Nate to infiltrate the Rocket Base and get the information and rescue Mew. Really easy! I am sure nothing will go wrong here.

Its always fun to stick two high powered characters together in a scenario and see how they bounce off each other. Mewtwo's psychic powers are oppressive but the Child has some counters to them, and the child gives mewtwo the perfect wway into the facility without drawing attention. They all kind of need each other but hate each other in various different ways and its just fantastic.

It was interesting to see how now that the Child isn't doing the mistreatment they seem to almost have what vaguely resembles a fraction of empathy? Or at least in a rather practical sense, knowing that keeping Nate fed and watered is mildly more helpful than not.

"Yes, I'm sure it was." The woman's face softens, and she studies you with a calm, level gaze that leaves you squirming with unease. You don't know what it is, but there's something about her that's scary.
I am so here for scary old lady Rocket boss, wow

"Nathan's obviously been having a difficult time lately. It's understandable that he'd forget his formalities." She smiles a warm, broad smile. "I'm sure it won't happen again."
Oh yeah this lady is Bad News

"I--I forget."

"You forget?" Aiden rumbles.

The boss smiles like you've told a wonderful joke. "It's the number you use to access your paycheck, Tony. I'm sure you haven't forgotten."
Honestly my instant thought was to say that the Mewtwo thing affected his memory here but that may not even have worked, hah

"What about the rest, Tony?" the boss asks quietly.

"There is more?"
Really hope we ge the full version later, now im curious

"Mewtwo," the human repeats, and you recognize her at last as Sabrina, Saffron City's gym leader and a person Mewtwo's definitely not afraid of. "It's time for you to come with me."
Looks like everything is going to plan! /s

Once again everything is going swimmingly for everyone. They really will not catch a break, will they? Plenty to sink ones teeth into here. Quite cuirious about this take on the boss. There's clearly a lot more going on in Team Rocket than even Mewtwo knows, given his belief that Giovanni was the head of everything.

I am absolutely entranced by this boss character. For a moment I am finding myself wondering if its Agatha but she's pale and probably not Hoennese? Maybe an OC or a canon character I forgot about.

Also I see Sabrina is an absolute force to be reckoned with, and I do not believe Mewtwo's bravado for one second. Probably should be more cautious pal.

Poor Nate keeps getting tossed around from miserable situation to miserable situation.

"Yes," Sabrina says. "We are. Get in the master ball, Mewtwo."
get in the bag nebby!

She feels horror flood your veins as you realize, already knows she's been found out.
Rare instance but I read this like two or three times and the wording felt a little weird. Couldn't quite parse it except maye the Child feeling horror at being found out, and Sabrina picking up on it? But the actual wording feels like something is missing.

Time blurs together in a thoughtless rush as your instincts take over, and you remember nothing after that.
Oh dear oh no

he never listents to anyone and just does what he wants, and now where are you? He thinks he's so smart, he thinks he's better than anybody, and he went and ruined everything.
Check the mirror, Child

At least you can be sure the Champion will bring him to the final match. There's petitions every year, people complaining about how unfair it is, but the League always lets him use Mewtwo anyway.
Bruh seriously? Isn't that some kind of safety hazard? I guess nobody can tell Red what to do? My goodness. mr. "i bring my Uber tier to OU matches" smh. Come on Red.

Maybe everyone went off to get healed.
Right I'm sure that's exactly where they all went

"No!" You jump at his sudden yell. "You give them back now. Do you understand me? Those are mine, and you give them back now or I swear to God you will regret it for the rest of your fucking life!"
A hahhh I knew it, this was probably all for his team, he really loves them

"Answer me!" he snarls. "Where is it? Where the fuck is it? If you don't spit it the fuck out now I swear to God I--"
Cheese and crackers I feel awful for Nate though. Snot though he can be he just wanted his pokemon

The rest of the great Nathaniel Morgan's words are too garbled by sobs for you to make out. He buries his face in the mightyena's mane, his whole body trembling with the force of crying, and clings to his pokémon like he's afraid she'll vanish if he lets go. The dark-type stands frozen in shock, half turned back towards her trainer.
AHHHGGGG just ear out my heart. Poor Nate man, sheesh.
This isn't going at all like you expected. What on earth is the great Nathaniel Morgan doing? Why can't humans ever make sense?
Maybe, just maye, get this, maybe its possible for Nate to still care about his own pokemon :mewlulz:

You don't even get to ask what she means before Raticate's weight settles on your shoulders and his teeth sink into the back of your neck. You roar and grab for him as Mightyena tears herself free of her trainer's grip and charges you.
On one hand, i get it, on the other, this was such a bad move lol, you should not try to fight the Child guys, just go to the hospital

Another chapter in which everything goes to plan and the Child and Nate have fun bonding time!

I am surprised and impressed that Sabrina made good on the hype from the previous chapter, and actually presents a solid threat to mewtwo. (Guess mewtwo is only lvl 70 still, smh). The psychic battle of wills was fascinating. Really presents a question of 'how many kadabra does it take to defeat a mewtwo', heh.

I really like this recurring sense of Nate getting away and getting dragged back in, its almost comedic at this point but it also makes sense too. Sucks for him though, hah. I am glad my subtext reading was right. Even with some knowledge of AQ aside its nice that the clues were clear enough to guess that a lot of this had to do with Nate's own pokemon (though as for how he got roped into TR on the first place I'm not sure...).

At least Nate's finally going to a hospital to get something vaguely resembling proper care lol.

And now all it has to look forward to when it gets up is trying to reason with TGNM
ahahahha I see he's been upgraded to an abbreviation now

Of course TGNM would get septitis or whatever. That's exactly the kind of thing he'd do. "Well, how long until he gets out of here?"
lol. Silly human, how dare you go and get sepsis after getting mauled and healed several times

Probably one of the nurses is going to go over and give them another injection soon, something to make sure they can't fight back, or force them to eat, or check the restraints because she almost got loose the last time, looks like the psychic fluctuations are more unstable than we thought, increase the dosage and tune the monitors to--
Oh this was some nice spicy trauma memories flaring up

You don't hurry. You're completely calm. You don't even start to run until the hospital's well out of sight.
And you're doing fine. Feeling so normal. Of course.

"I told you, the doctor said he's going to be fine!"
Technically the doctor said he might live

"I'm not scared!" You do want to fight her, you do, but using the pokéball is the smartest option. There's nothing cowardly about avoiding a dangerous battle.
Interesting, you are scared... all of a sudden now you want to be 'sensible? uh huh

We fight for Nate, the real one, always."
Awwwww even in the midst of this fight this is such a nice affirmation.

It's hot and pain and then cold, cold as darkness spreads from Mightyena's teeth, seeps through your veins, fills up your vision and your mind until it swallows all and you are no more.
Nate's pokemon must be pretty strong tbh, if the three of them can manage to take out Absol and the child. Idk Absol's actual strength but I sure got the impression they're no slouch. And given the Child's prior performance I'm actually impressed. I knew Nate was pretty competent but he's apparently stronger than I thought.

I am really digging the fast and loose kind of way battles play out here, especially for these kinds of fights. They feel delightfully raw and freeform. I also loved see nate's pokemon in action here, fighting for him, especially Mightyena. It's fun to see their team dynamic. Mightyena being fiercely loyal and protective, Raticate trying to be sensible and more of peacekeeper and Graveler is quiet and steady.

Fortunately, he knows some distance attacks, so you aren't fucked over just because the awesome Allie Wilson put her pokémon out of reach. You sigh. "Swift, Raticate."
Luckily for you Nate is smarter than you, Child, heh

Also wow we're here already!! Tournament arc lets go :mewlulz:
"It would be smarter to actually follow my commands. And I do not see what them being strong has to do with the battle being good. Your pokémon are not that great. Mine should have had no problem with your team, but in the end the only reason we won is because your Raichu got cocky. I did not think it was a good battle at all."
Or maybe someone was giving some questionable commands?

"Not personal like," TGNM says, exasperated. "But from battling, sure. She's not a big-timer, does some smaller tournaments here and there. She's more in the contest circuit, really. That's why she's got the raichu with the flashy battle style, you know? For the show.
Huh Nate sure knows a heck of a lot about all this doesn't he? An uncommon amount.

"Just half of them," Mightyena says with a brief wag.

"Like you even count," Raticate grumbles. "You stole him, more like."
Lol. Do so love me the 'pokemon stole/caught the trainer dynamic'

"It means go away, dumbass. Get lost."

"Why would I get lost? I know how to get around the hospital just fine."
Oh my gosh Im dying

The way TGNM and his pokémon act together... It's not what you expected. He must be up to something already.
Or maybe he genuinely cares :P

That was a great kickoff to the tournament. I can tell the Child is set to be an absolutely incredible trainer. truly top notch. I really am enjoying how the battles are advancing and setting up character stuff. Clearly the child has issues listening to their pokemon, and also planning smart strategies. It highlights how much they really need Nate honestly.

I also like seeing the Child grappling with having to really need Nate this time and having had to admit Nate is stronger/better than them. And coming to terms with the idea that Nate is capable of caring about his pokemon still.

Whatever. You didn't even really want a stupid golbat anyway.
Rude, everyone knows Golbat are the best pokemon

There are onix here, even; you could catch one and buy a metal coat with your prize money and the great Nathaniel Morgan would never know the difference.
Severe X to doubt buddy. He will absolutely know

"Oh, I dunno. Somehow I'm just not buying that some twelve-year old was doping his mons hardcore, you know? And if he gets cited, who gets a bye into the next round? Seems pretty goddamned convenient, if you know what I mean."
Bruh you framed a kid for doping?? yikes harsh

"Oh, for Christ's--he had a baton pass team! It's a strategy, you moron. Ain't fucking cheating!"

"It is cheap. He should not have won."
Lol nate is right, git good scrub

The great Nathaniel Morgan's quiet for a few seconds, prodding at the scraps of food on his tray. "Well, yeah. But I wouldn't have been such an asshole about it. Making out like it was all the kid's fault, honestly."
Ahahah I love his agreement that he would have done something too lol.

"They stole my wallet!" you snap at the great Nathaniel Morgan after a quick rifle through the pockets of your discarded pants. "They took my money to go out and buy all of that!"

"Not really your fucking money, is it, Freak?"
nice, hah

Raticate reaches into his mouth, extracts a spit-covered square of leather, and chucks it at your head.
ewww
I hope he didn't carry it there when they went out to by food too :mewlulz:

Of course the sableye's still following you.
Oh interesting... I wonder what that's all about. Nothing good im sure

"Maybe you don't remember the lesson I taught you a few days ago," Mightyena says. "You're not in charge here. You think you want to push me, you really want to start something over this, you're going to get a pretty harsh reminder of where you stand. And if it comes down to a fight and it wakes Nate up, I'll be twice as angry as I was last time."
Awww bless mightyena, she's so protective.

Then you can tell Mewtwo to blow up the great Nathaniel Morgan's stupid head and get on with your life. You huddle on the scratchy old couch where the smell of pizza sauce still lingers and nurse thoughts of revenge late, late into the night.
lol we'll see if this happens, hahhaha

An interesting break in the grand scheme of things, doing some setup and buildup for more league stuff. The Child tries and apparently epicly failed to even catch one pokemon which is... surprisingly honestly. git good scrub, lol. And didn't even catch a Zubat, the obvious best pokemon. Smh. I see that despite their assertations of being 'good' the Child once again has some fascinating takes on morals and ethics. Nate is All bad but framing a child is not a big deal. kind of makes sense though I guess, gotta do what you gotta do to be the very best, heh.

Its so nice to see Nate and his team (most of them) together though, and see lots of Mightyena content. After AQ I have really been longing to see more of them and I am not disappointed. I love just how much Mightyena cares for him, and that Nate, to anyone with working eyes, clearly loves his own pokemon a lot. its funny to see these moments where if things were just a little different maybe these two could start to make up but unfortunately, Issues:tm:. So many.

Honestly my biggest side eyes rn though is Eskar, I cannot imagine that this Sableye is here for anything less than some nefarious intentions ultimately.

think of nothing much at all until, abruptly, you remember it's Saturday.
I love how much despite everything the Child is really still very much a kid. I remember how good it felt to actually wake up on a Saturday. Ahhh those were the days...

You'd forgotten that Gligar-Man was on early today
Awww yeah impeccable taste

"It is Transformozords, obviously."

"Transfo-what?"

"Have you not heard of Transformozords? Really?"
Cancelled and unfriended I can't believe Nate doesn't like Transformozords????
It is about people who can transform into big monster beast robots, and also they are ninjas. They fight the evil Space Pirates and defend the galaxy from crime! Except Transformo-Gray, she turned out to be evil and joined the Space Pirates a while ago."
Okay this does sound pretty amazing, like one half power rangers and one half ninja warriors and one half transformers??? holy smokes lol

You roll your eyes. Transformozords is about ninjas, so if the great Nathaniel Morgan thinks it's stupid he's just objectively wrong.
yeah i gotta side with The Child here

It's a pokénav, a newer model, sleek metallic casing and big, glassy screen. "That is not yours!" you hiss at him. "She stole that, did she not?"
omg oh noooo. Like trainer like mon ahahaha

"There are a lot of attacks humans do not know about. And I can do more than attacks, too. I know all the abilities, and I can be any type I want. I can change them any time. And I am much stronger than other pokémon.
This my OC they are a child of mew with super special shapeshifting powers and they can look like any person and also they know every single attack ever and they also invented a special new attack because they're really talented and because Mew they have every ability and can be anytype because i said so >:{

I just freakin love how you took something that could easily be so OP and made it a a character study

"You can have one," you say, still staring into the distance. It's a perfect day, so piercing clear and bright that it hurts even to look full into the sky.
Love how much the Child is clearly zoning out here without ever really saying it

"I think we will be good friends, yes? Such good friends."
X to freakin doubt

"Oh, not that shit again. How many times have I got to tell you, Freak, you ain't the fucking pokémon whisperer."

"You believed me when I told you about the azumarill."

"Azumarill?" He stares blankly down at the page in front of him. "Wait. How did... No, hang on. Look, that doesn't mean..."
Uh huh. called out. Come on Nate is talking pokemon really the most absurd thing?

You settle in more comfortably, knees drawn up under your chin and tail curled around your ankles. It isn't long before the other two forget you're there completely, talking back and forth like they're the only ones in the room. And for a time, you don't mind blending into the background as the battle plan takes shape around you. The two of them together sound like they're coming up with something almost as good as you could.
Ah for a moment I can almost hope and believe they could all be friends and get along, and change. heh.

I think this one is on of my more favorite chapters lately. I mean not that I had a problem with the other ones mind you, but there was nice content in here I enjoyed. The slice of life vibe here in the midst of all the grim chaos and dark humor and darkness was nice. The Child watching saturday morning cartoons and getting excited about commercials, bickering with Nate, some training, and some from battle prep at the end (the eye thing is fine, no biggie. Totally fine).

I especially really enjoyed the training sequence. I always get a kick out of seeing how those kinds of more mundane elements work into a story. It felt like a good length, long enough to give an idea of whats going on but not dragging out unnecessary details. It segways nicely into the pre-battle chatter at the end of the chapter. I have to say, Nate is constantly more proficient than expected like, he's making some real strategies here. I liked how he was trying to kind of understand Mightyena but couldn't, and she was still trying to make herself understood.

Having the child translate is actually super useful for him I bet.

The one bit thats got me intrigued kind of is thinking about why of all things Nate wants to deny, the hill he chooses to die on is the Child knowing pokespeech. TC can make healing softboiled, use pokemon moves, shapeshift, use psychic powers, every known move in existence and then some, but for some reason, Nate refuses to consider they can in fact speak pokemon.

I don't think its unrealistic for someone to have a weird stubborn hill to be in denial about but it is interesting to wonder why he resists so dang hard i mean. It took him ages to accept and even here he wanted to deny it.

You knuckle forward slowly, still not really sure what's going on.
yeah its called a strategy you should try it

"I said fire spin, for--come on!"
Its painful to watch the Child be such a stubborn idiot here

All good so far. But toxic? What on earth is the great Nathaniel Morgan thinking?
BRO COME ON
Toxic stall is the easiest play in the book come on come on

"It can't hit you if you're underground! For God's sake, dig!"
JUST LISTEN

"Now use rock--no, what the--?"
:unquag:

"I said you're out. Get off the fu--ieeeld. Get off the field."
lol nate trying to reign in his swearing is great

"Assurance the hole now!"

It doesn't mean much to you, but Raticate groans loudly before leaping into the air. He spins to bring his tail down atop Azumarill, and the assurance attack dunks her neatly into the hole you dug earlier. The water-type's a bit pudgier than you, and she wedges in tightly.
Oh this was some good strategizing

"Your performance in that battle was unacceptable," you say.

"My performance? You going to sit there and act like I'm the one who fucked up?"
Ohhh my gosh child PLEASE

Look, Freak, spamming your strongest moves works great if you've got the advantage.
How dare he call out my brilliant strategies

Man this chapter was infuriating to read. It really be like that, someone asks YOU for your help and then when you give it proceeds to literally ignore every piece of advice. Not inaccurate and deifnitely understandable but man do i want to grab the Child by the shoulders and rattle them good. No concept of how close they got to being defeated or what good strategy looks like.

Can't say I'm surprised though, the Child has displayed a stunning lack of awareness this entire story, hah.

I liked the arguement afterwards though. Shame the inquiry about Raticates trainer was interrupted by Eskar. >:{ I want to know mooorree

"The fuck're they talking about?" The great Nathaniel Morgan asks, watching in bald confusion as Graveler gets drawn into a discussion about the relative merits of the geology of different parts of Kanto.

"Rocks."
This line delivery made me chuckle
I also really enjoyed a bit of rock rambling and worldbuilding tucked in here

"I know, and I'm tired of you telling me that! If you actually care about it being dangerous, then help me. Don't just show up and act like I'm stupid because I don't always do everything you want without an explanation. Tell me what's wrong."
Definitely kind of found myself on the child's side here. Sure she's right about it being dangerous but you're not helping either. Of course I suppose the child doesn't even need to technically be here either so...

"You mean--you'll do it? You'll join the battles?"

"Yes."
Awww yay. I'm glad she agreed. Hopefully this doesn't backfire spectacularly though, hah

Energy gathers, then flows out of you, leaving your arms trembling and achy as it drains away. There's another infernape in front of you, standing slack, flames teased by plateau winds.

You spread your hands. "There you go. See? That's how you do it. Does that make sense?"

Mightyena walks up and sniffs the substitute, then nudges it with her head. Raticate wanders up next to her and prods it in the side. The substitute doesn't react, doesn't move beyond what's necessary to stay upright.

"Okay, but if I do this..." Mightyena jumps at you, jaws open to attack. You step back instinctively, but the substitute comes to life in an instant and throws itself into Mightyena's path. The two of them go over in the dirt, a tangle of limbs and flame.
Oh I go feral for some move worldbuilding, that I do. This is a fantastically delightufl interpretation of substitute. Also the child's rather unhelpful explanation of 'just do it' is great.

"You take some normal energy, and then you combine it with some life energy, but not too much. And then you put it outside you and make it the right shape, and then you're done."

Mightyena and Raticate exchange a look. "Uh-huh," Raticate says, his tone alone is enough to set your flames dancing with irritation.
Such a great explanation lol. I do love it though, the idea of binding it with some infinity + life energy

"But perhaps not now. I believe we are about to be asked to do more pointless exercises. Real training later, yes? I think for now we should try to keep the clueless human happy."
yeaaaahhhh I'm pretty sure Eskar is butterigng you up Child

"What? No." The great Nathaniel Morgan peers at Mightyena. "You're fucking with me. It ain't no rock porn. It's like some bullshit educational movie."

"I never said it wasn't educational. Where did you think baby rocks came from?" she says. "I mean, think about it. All those grinding faults... heaving plates... spurting lava..."
Lol oh my gosh oh noooo. Oh nooo

"Oh, I'll be there, and I'll tear your fucking League a new asshole for fucking with me over some stupid shit."
Uh oh spaghettio!! I wonder how they found out. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Eskar somehow, or Sabrina or something idk. Also Nate seems especially angry, i wonder if he has past sour experiences with league stuff.

And if he's not going to do something about it, then you will.
Im sure this will go over stunningly

A surprisingly chill chapter save for Nate blowing up near the end. I like how the Child can give us some unique insight to pokemon and moves. And also the idea that just because they know what they're doing hardly means they can impart that knowledge to anyone else lol :P

Chapters like this are also a nice display of moments of dark humor or silly stuff blended in that help add character, particularly stuff like a trainer and their team choosing a movie to watch. I like how the interpersonal relationships are written even not accounting for the Child acting as translator.
Like I mentioned above I think the part thats definitely got me most intrigued is that Nate's reaction felt so extreme for someone hoping to get through everything without rocking the boat. I fully expect he's got a chip on his shoulder (although if he doesn't it does feel bordering on a little unreasonable. As much of a trouble maker as he is I'd expecting cussing out the person delivering the summons won't help your case.)

Also bless that poor women for keeping it together.

You know the great Nathaniel Morgan well enough by now--far better than you'd like. You won't forget anything, aren't forgetting anything about him. You don't need the pokédex to remind you who you are, and you really don't need to be standing here going over your League history in your head.
Oh sheesh you really are stupid, Child. Come on.

"No. I, um, I forgot it."
A brilliant rebuttal

And standing across from him, laptop open on the table, is Leonard Kerrigan.
Oh. Oh him. This cannot be good.

It can fire a good thunderbolt from up here.
Uh Child? have you checked your type charts recently?

The League's energy shields are designed to keep attacks contained, so no careless battler can send something flying off-target to injure a bystander.
Ohhh so thats whats going on. A clever tactic tbh

You return as Leonard Kerrigan.
Oh boy

"I don't get it," the League employee says. He's staring at the nidoking, a sad frown on his face. "I've never seen these two fight. What set them off?"
This won't hold up once they wake up though will it? Assuming porygon or someone else can confirm something else went down.

"She is going to get healing items."

"Oh, that's good," he says. "Wait, how did you--?"

"Anyway, the analysis I did on the pokédex was wrong. Obviously I am bad at my job. I need you to change the entry."
lol whoopsie daisy.

The great Nathaniel Morgan's gazing at nothing in particular, a blank look on his face. He finally rouses when the League man grabs his arm.
Huh I wonder if the child's comment got to him for some reason. He's surprisingly mellowed out for a second

I'm talking about ruining your entire fucking organization. And if--"
Okay now I am extra convinced Nate has a vendetta against the league in a very personal way. Also I love nate pulling a karen, amazing

"Look at you, getting worked up over a few little insults," you hiss. You can feel the darkness weaving its way into your voice, the words leaving your lips so cold and biting you're almost surprised they don't fog the air white. "What are you going to do about it, huh?" you ask. "You savage."
Oh this was some fun move flavor

If anything, the nidoking slush pile looks even stranger in the middle of the open field. This is the deepwilds, but here in Indigo's foothills the wild pokémon aren't very scary. And these two are nidoking, after all. They'll be fine. It'll take them a few days to stumble back into civilization, and at that point nothing they say will matter.
Oh we'll see if this one goes wrong or not lol. Man, the child sure knows how to leave a trail. Although I suppose at this point there aren't a lot of options.

Cheese and crackers the problems just keep piling up don't they? First running into Leonard in the first place, Nate getting mistaken for the child, and then trying to fight him, and now the Nidoking bros are dumped in the wild. I hope they'll really be okay lol.

A bit of pronouning before the Leonard reveal that felt a tad dramatic consider the child themself knows the voice but hey, some drama is always fun and it didn't last too long. It sure is a heck of a time seeing how many scrapes these two are getting into and frantically trying to coverup...

"When I finally got worried enough to go looking, you were not even five streets away, seeing how many bars you could get thrown out of. I cannot believe you. Did you just not care about this battle? Did you think it would not matter?"
I wonder if Nate went drinking because he really was upset by that comment from the child.

"Go fuck yourself," the great Nathaniel Morgan snarls.
what a fun competitor. Nate please, keep it together :mewlulz:

A crobat takes shape, sparkling suggestions of wings beating even before she properly solidifies.
Best mon, 10/10
"Detect. Thunder," the great Nathaniel Morgan counters.
Niiicceee. Good counters here, very satisfying

His hands are white-knuckled on the railing next to you.
is the Great nathaniel morgan getting... stage fright?

"What are you doing?" you hiss at him. "Absol won't be able to hit with that!"
bro you gotta learn to trust nate a little more, this is probably a platform ploy

"Thunder!" the great Nathaniel Morgan yells.
OH HECK YEAH. loving how Nate keeps taking control of enviroment and weather

"Okay. Giga drain."
Ingrain, Stockpile, Giga Drain? Bruh this has got to be the most annoying moveset ever lol

You'd appreciate something more concrete, but to be fair, get it is all you want to do anyway.
Oh now you want a command? hypocrite lol

"Role play!"

You don't know. You're tired and wet, and your opponent's out of reach, sniping you from safety. Maybe the great Nathaniel Morgan is wrong. Maybe infernape can't even learn that attack, and he's outing you in front of everyone. But his are the only words you have left.
YESSSS FINALLY

So this is Cryn's secret. His roots weren't just soaking up health. He was drinking in the water's power to fuel his attacks. That's how he became so strong. And now that strength is yours.
OHHH DUHH Storm Drain lol. For a second I really thought maybe the kid was juicing but this isn't a bad setup at all

You could stand. You could. But at the moment you just don't want to.

"Yield," the great Nathaniel Morgan says quietly, and you snap upright, crown blazing. How dare he presume you can't go on? Fractures grate and sear red lines of pain across your vision, and you fold up again, clutching your side.
Child: "oh man i dont wanna get up"

Nate: yield

Child: >:{ excuse you

"Snore," Jason Muskowitz says.

The great Nathaniel Morgan's "Oh, come the--come on!"
Oh dadgummit seriously???

"Recover."

"No!"
And this kids is why we have 4 move limits /j :mewlulz:

You imagine yourself down there, dazed from the cold and clawing at the ice as the slow, terrible realization of being trapped creeps over you. Mightyena won't be able to break through with a physical attack, not without some kind of leverage, and you don't think she has any special attacks strong enough to shatter the ice, either.
Is that a bit of empathy and concern I detect?

"Dude, chill out. It's just a battle," Jason Muskowitz mutters, so soft you're sure you're the only one to hear it.

"Warning for the blue corner," the referee begins, one flag going up, but the great Nathaniel Morgan talks over him. "I forfeit."
First of all, jason, shut up. Rude.
Second, i guess Nate forfeited because he was more worried about Mightyena than winning and didn't want to put her through that

And that's the last you see, because that's the moment you find out just how fast a League-trained chansey can move.
:unquag:

Back to some good old battle chapters, and this one does not disappoint. The battles are so good because the POV is really nicely utilized imo. There's always an emotional component through the battles that makes the actual fights feel more appealing, plus it is pretty cool to see fights from the perspective of the Child.

I like how things start with only a slight undercurrent of tension, and its obvious something is wrong but the Child only sort of realizes this. Nate has decent control of the battle at the start, trying to use good tactics and take back control of weather and field effects. Of course, things start to fall apart with that Cradily, which was maximum annoying lol, then Avalugg. Thats some good team strategy, i gotta say. And really annoying.

Nate really started to fall apart near the end, oof. I have to say I am once again surprised that the child is weaker than I first imagined. Makes sense though I guess, a good league trainer must be pretty tough and if Child has to stay in a particular form thats pretty limiting.

"You were about two seconds away from setting your trainer on fire," the chansey says, deadpan. "Don't play dumb with me. I know what it looks like to prepare an attack. What I want you to understand is that it's unacceptable. Not to mention illegal, but that's beside the point. You need to control your temper."
heh, I love the idea of league trained Chansey waiting on the sidelines to heal or restrain errant pokemon.

"Get us out of here!"

You're too stunned to respond, staring blankly into his bloodshot eyes. His fingers dig painfully into your fur, and he reeks of alcohol and sweat. "Get us out of here!" he barks again, giving you a shake that blacks your vision for a second. "Now! Take us now, take--"

He's overcome by a hacking coughing fit, and you twist out of his grasp while he's wheezing. Why's he freaking out? You cast a quick look over the field. Maybe he's worried because the way out is blocked?
Poor Nate lol. Can't blame him I'd rather die than do a TV interview probably

You raise the ball of smoke high above your head, imagining the cameras on you, then bring it down hard, so it explodes into a dense, obscuring cloud. By the time it clears, you and the great Nathaniel Morgan are long gone.
Ninja exit, maximum coolness

You haven't fed or watered him yet today, though. Hmmm.
:mewlulz:

"You been keeping naked dudes tied up in your creepy basement place?" The great Nathaniel Morgan bites his knuckles, but his shoulders tremble and a mad giggle escapes him nonetheless. "Oh my God, K--k--this is how rumors get started!" And he dissolves into a fit of laughter for some reason, holding his sides with tears rolling down his face.
ok this is killing me oh gosh

Why would he try to lose, anyway? Some nonsense about you killing people, and he was acting scared of something. Of what? You don't know. You don't understand.
Im glad I'm not the only one who thought it was weird. There's definitely something else going on, it can't just be because of that.

Mightyena breaks away when she sees you and dashes over, tail wagging like mad. She bounces around you in a circle, tossing her head to show off something bright green between her teeth.

"Look what I have!" she demands, nearly bowling you over, and you barely register it as a tennis ball before she bounds away again.
Well someone is in a good mood today

"Well, I was fucking hungry when I woke up. No way in hell I was waiting on your furry ass to show. We got our own grub. I got a thing for you, too. Here." He pulls something embedded in plastic from under his jacket and tosses it to you.
Huh thats... surprisingly nice

Hmmm I wonder if Nate is really starting to actually believe the child's story. Maybe he even feels bad?

"Imagine, a present for a silly little fight like that. Hmm, a present, a present." She upends the bag, spilling a brightly-colored cluster of gems into her palm.
Awww thats nice of Nate!

She holds up what looks like a chunk of gold, glittering and angular. "Trash! Worthless!"
its the thought that counts? :mewlulz:

He falls into an argument with Mightyena about what to watch and ultimately loses when she she steals the remote right out of his hands and changes to a reality show about humans trying to live in a mankey troupe. "Oh, come on, what even is this shit? We got like the best battle coverage all year going on now, and this is what you're gonna go with?"

"Nate, battle TV's all you ever want to watch," Mightyena says, and since she's now lying on top of the remote, her decision reigns.
I am furiously taking notes on writing funny interactions between pokemon and trainers

"Of course I'm all right, silly," Mightyena murmurs as she leans into his hand. "But we've really got to do something about that stage fright and... everything else."
Ah hah I knew it I knew it. Also a bit of ice trauma for Mightyena? as a treat?

"I ain't cut out for this shit, you know? I mean, I gotta try, I gotta do it for Steelix and all, but I'm gonna fuck it up. That's the word with me, right? I'm always just gonna fuck it up."
:(((

"Eskar's here. You are angry with the shouty human, yes? Backstabby? Did you perhaps want... help with him?"
Child please do not trust this thing

"What's going to happen to her?"
Ahhh you do care

"But this is the way of pokémon, yes? So loyal, even to those who do not deserve it. This is how it is. But Orpiment-eyes is smart, yes? So smart. She will learn. Team Rocket can give her a real trainer. She will understand then. I think it will take some time, but she will understand."
yeah sure thats one way you could put it lol

Space pirates. You wish you could fight those instead. Everything would be so much simpler.
oof. :(

I always love some good aftermath chapters after characters lose and important fight. Its where the best development happens tbh, either positive or negative. Nate must be pretty out of it, he was surprisingly nice afterwards, even to the child and Eskar. (Although I guess he doesn't remember or know its the same sableye?). It was cute seeing him having gone out of his way to be kinda nice and get the action figure and rocks for Eskar.

Also man the conversation between nate and Mightyena. This stupid boy is just a scared stupid guy trying very hard to look competent and capable. 22 is baby. Must be really aggravating to get interrupted by the Child

Also we get some more traces of real empathy and concern from the child for once, even if they can't properly conceptualize the idea that nate isn't a cackling villainous fiend. They can barely understand why they even care or would ask about Mightyena, but the seeds of some compassion are there.

Its also probably the most apparent scene of the Child realizing the complications of morality. They're so used to black and white and an almost cartoonish level of logic that its really throwing them off to imagine that its not at all that simple or easy, and actions have consequences. Im sure this won't trouble them at all.

"You are good at battling. There is no reason to think you are going to lose."
Whoa was that a compliment?

"It means if you stop worrying about losing and try to win, you will win." He shakes his head. "Really. I heard what you said to Mightyena, and it is not true. You are not bad at battling."
heheh, I like the child trying and kind of failing but being earnest here, its its very pragmatic way.

You're so anxious about what he's feeling that it's making it hard to get excited about the battle yourself.
So you care? :sneaky:

"Oh, yeah. Stubborn as anything, aren't they, humans? I mean, take this one." He gives his trainer a fond look. "She wasn't big on manners, either, but the team, we straightened her out. She just had to see, you know, that she couldn't be her best if she kept letting her mouth get her in trouble. She was making it hard for all of us. Took a lot of work, but she's doing much better now. That's our job, right?"
ahahaha yes. Pour one out for mons babysitting their trainers or thinking they are the ones in charge of whipping them into shape.

"I like you, kid. I was gonna say I'd plaster you on the battlefield on account of your trainer's mouth, but what do you know? I'm still gonna plaster you, but it'll be friendly-like this time. How's that?"
:veelove: Also PLEASE tell me we get Electivire vs "infernape" because thats Paul vs Ash and it PROVES my Ash is the Child theory a really cool matchup

"Look at all of them! They love me!"
Awwww oooooo she just wants some love. I love this muk

She probably took an entire fucking class just on poison attacks," he says dazedly. "Like 'Poison 101, did you know that sometimes it explodes when you burn it, but also it burns when you dump water on it?' Oh yeah, that makes fucking perfect sense..."
Anime logic 101
Aggron gives a final wrench, a last loud pop echoing across the battlefield... And then his tail falls off and lands with a splat in the hissing mud behind him.
Bruh what the heck??? What the heck?
You've never seen a blastoise so big before. Her shell is at least half a foot thick, draped with moss and tufts of grass, and her steely blue scales grow nearly as broad as your palm. They're crusted with barnacles and clinging symbionts that obscure old dents and battle scars. The blastoise must be at least 700, 800 years old. You almost never see pokémon that old accompanied by a trainer; they're all off in the deepwilds--heaven help any human foolish enough to try and capture one.
YO this is such a sick mental image?? ultra ancient blastoise, yes please

"He's worried about losing," you add, feeling somehow self-conscious under Blastoise's red gaze. "So I had to make him mad so he would stop thinking about it so we could win. I didn't expect him to freak out this much."

Blastoise's stony expression doesn't change, and your words freeze unspoken in your throat as you realize the absurdity of defending the great Nathaniel Morgan to her.
AH HAH AH HAH YOU CARE YOU CARE

That's your most powerful attack against Blastoise, but you're not going to win if you just stand around trading super-effective attacks. If you get in a straight damage race, you're going to lose.
Whats this? learning lessons??? Not going for straight damage?

The great Nathaniel Morgan yells, "Sunny day down the cannon! Now!"
oh that one feels like straight up Ash-level strategy

A sunny day attack is a glowing film of energy wrapped around a ball of gas, meant to float high into the sky and burn like a tiny sun.
Oooo ooo maybe I'll steal this mhhhmmm

"Oh hell yes!" the great Nathaniel Morgan yells as the water-type goes down with a stadium-shaking crash. "Encore!"
Oh yes oh yes get em get em!!!

For now all you know is that Blastoise throws you and you fall, and fall, and you never hit the ground.
Oh dadgummit

"Foul play!"
OH

"Of course I knew you cared. If you did not, you would not have gotten mad when I went on the field. And anyway," you add, cutting off an angry retort, "it worked, did it not? We won."

The great Nathaniel Morgan stares at you for a moment, then looks past you, like he's contemplating something off in the distance. "We won," he says slowly.
Ahahahah Child's got you there, Nate

"We won!" the great Nathaniel Morgan says in frank, delighted disbelief. "We fucking won! Hell yeah! Take that, you fucking academy nerd!"
awww yeah aww yeaaahh aww yeaahh
So proud of them all

"I can come?"

"Not if you don't get your ass over here right this second."

You hesitate. There must be some kind of trick. But the great Nathaniel Morgan turns to go, and the door nearly closes behind him before you run up to catch it. The great Nathaniel Morgan ignores you, and you hang around at the rear of the group, curious and somehow hopeful besides. Today is a day for surprises, you suppose.
:veelove:

At first you're wary when the great Nathaniel Morgan insists you sit across from him, but after a couple minutes you realize he only invited you so he could keep up with his pokémon's conversation, prodding you to translate between bites of your food.
nah deep down he cares a little I think

Absol's been quiet the whole time, daintily murdering a couple of extremely rare steaks
good taste I approve

"Lazurite-eyes, he tries to bribe with his worthless little gifts. Pfeh! His pokémon, they love it. But we are not so easily bought, Cordierite-eyes, are we? We will not be swayed by cheap trinkets."
ew go away

"I don't want you to get hurt," she says at last.
oh an actual straightforward answer

You can't interfere, watcher-cat. Both of us, we know you are bound."
Interesting...

"Ah, Cordierite-eyes! I like you, I really do. Such a good friend." Eskar gives you a dazzling smile. "But I'm afraid my rates have gone up."
:unquag:

Wow I could not tear my eyes away for the entire battle really. That was a good one, really intense. There's a great sense of mounting tension especially because the setup of the situation means that like, probably they will win, but also perhaps they wouldn't, and maybe the story could curve, who knows. Luckily they did manage to eek out a win. Partway in I somehow forgot if this was a 3v3 or 4v4 so I was kind of surprised when the Salamence came out because I almost thought it was over, hah.

It was pretty funny to see Mightyena's whacky false substitue actually be arguably more effective than a proper one.

Man this Eskar is really grating on my nerves (not in a bad way). The Child is sooo oblivious sometimes. Yes, the Sableye working for Team Rocket has decided to help you, and you're pulling a fast one on it. Okay. Yeah. Sure.

That last line is particularly chilling, yikes. Not many kinds of body horror make me have a reaction but that sure does, yuck.

It doesn't matter. Even if the great Nathaniel Morgan can be kind of nice sometimes, he has to go back to Team Rocket. That's what he gets for joining them in the first place, and anyway, it's what you have to do. To get Mewtwo back. To save Mew. You'll do whatever it takes, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. You don't.
Ahahahah HAH you are softening up and begining to care

Your eyes itch, and you rub at them, scrubbing until they're watering so bad you can barely see. They still itch. Stupid. They're brand new. There's no reason they should give you trouble.
Good to see the Child is fine and utterly unbothered by everything happening

"I thought you must have joined Team Rocket because you hated pokémon. Or maybe you only liked them because they were useful."
Oh this is gonna be a fun conversation. Gotta say i'm pretty curious what his answer will be

The great Nathaniel Morgan scrunches up his face like he's about to sneeze, and when he glances down to find Raticate and Mightyena looking up at him, he bursts out laughing. The pokémon join in, and the three of them collapse against each other. The great Nathaniel Morgan hangs onto Graveler as if for dear life, breathless with giggling.
Hm. Not the response I expected honestly. I guess Nate can't really be bothered to give a snarky defense or any kind of reply

Either Nate is being a smug rat or there's some other element I missed. I mean sure there's a trace of hypocrisy I guess, given the Child is doing some uh. Things but still.

You're watching a roserade beat up a primeape, who screeches and flails as his anger escalates, but who only ends up hurting himself on his opponent's thorns.
nice metaphor
"I'm only trying to do the right thing, Absol."

"I know," she says. "Most people are."
This was an interesting conversation. Its true that quite a lot of people are decent but then also quite a lot of people like boss and her admins or other people are just in it for no reason other than pure personal gain. There's a lot to consider here about supposed Fate, and Absol's view, and the childs own.

The great Nathaniel Morgan snorts. "Money, dumbass? Get a fucking clue." He braces one hand on the counter while he bends down to grab the string.

"But there are a lot of things you could do for money. And you said you did not even make that much from Team Rocket."
Dude you said you barely get paid. Pick a better arguement :mewlulz:

"There ain't no 'why,' Freak. Some people are just born to be bad, you know?"
Hm, intriguing. So Nate believes he really doesn't have any other choice anymore. Interesting that he kind of dodged for awhile, then went extreme with the prime minister line, only to almost brush it off. To be fair there's less blustering here, I think Nate is being kind of serious. Another moment I kind of wish we could see some Nate pov, I really am curious what all goes through his mind justifying it. I kind of do get how he can justify it now but I'd be really intrigued how he ended up here.

"Nate, what are we going to do after the tournament? After you get Steelix back?"
Oh I'm sure this won't be an issue

Nate, you weren't thinking of joining up with another gang, were you?"

"No, I was thinking of doing what the freak there said and becoming a motherfucking professor. Where the fuck is this coming from?"
Lol i see once again nate is deploying the classic extremeifying response.

"I liked you better when you couldn't talk."
Oh. Ouch. The funny thing about outbursts is there's a nugget of truth in a way. This whole conversation was just oof all the way through. Nate really has not properly conceptualized the idea of 'what next' and after. Its sad, thats what the survivor mentality does, really destroys your ability to see a different life.

Nate just does not seem to see a world in which its both worth it and possible to fight for a better life.

The great Nathaniel Morgan opens watery eyes and actually manages a smirk. "Cheat."
:cool:

And then, while the announcer's still reacting to the first teleport, with the crowd just beginning to bubble up to a confused clamor, before the referee or Champion or anyone can intervene, the both of you are gone.
Whew lad. Entire chapter battles are so tricky but man is it done great here. Part of it is the effective setup to build tension. We know the child can't win legally honestly. We know what they are trying to achieve, and we know the Child's powers by now. So now its not just a matter of 'winning' (aka getting to mewtwo), but how. Can the Child effectively cheat in enough minor ways to give itself an edge in combat?

That combined with some oh so spicy emotional/visual teasing buildup to whatever the heck is going on with Blastoise and the team sure is something. My guess? shadow pokemon. I mean i vaguely recall chatter about Orre on discord but also the details line up. Corrupted aura and mindless obedience and fits of rage, and being the perfect soldier? Sounds about right I think. Also Red is acting weird? Can humans be shadowed in this? That would be wild. Did they shadow Red and his team and use them?

(from reading ahead its not Mewtwo, as my prior theory was mewtwo mind controlling them or something).

But PHEW it worked in the end at least.
Steelix? Mewtwo says in his tiny captive's voice, and you tense, expecting him to give you away. You don't even know why--why, other than the embarrassment of being caught in a lie--why it should matter.
Oh... Oh wait. Oh I am stupid. Somehow it didn't click before. With the elements of unreliable narrator I somehow didn't properly realize the Child lied. I actually sort of thought it had at first, way back when it came up, but then somehow got the impression it had told the truth in fact. But the Child lied, it has no idea where Steelix is and Mewtwo is essentially playing along?

For a few seconds you try to convince yourself that you can run away and not look back and everything will work out fine.

You can't, though, and you know it.
yes I love moments of characters finally coming to realizations about things

The man goes down, and your target yelps in surprise as taloned feet close around his midriff and haul him into the air.
I like for a moment it seems like the Child starts referring to him as the 'target', even though it clearly cares on some level.

It feels like everything is just as it should be at last.
we'll see how long this one lasts lol

I feel like this chapter is kind of the end of an arc and its pretty nice. Like whatever happens from here, a new section of this saga has begun properly. They fought their way through the Indigo league, encountered the champ, then got him to send out Mewtwo, and actually escaped. Also despite the two's best attempts to sound all cool and detached and like they don't care, its clear by now they do on some small subconscious level. The seeds are taking root.

ALSO the child lives in the mansion??? or is that maybe another island with a mansion? hot dang, i always pictured a little cabin for some reason.

The banter near the end of trying to insist like Nate stay there is no biggie was kind of sweet, even if they are all being pretty mean still.

As for 35, by and far my favorite bit is definitely Leonard taking apart Nate. So juicy, and full of good drama and backstory, and kind of satisfying even if I do feel bad for Nate, a little. Not much.

Big sad tbh over seemingly not finding Steelix at the base though. And now Nate is up and running and everything sucks sgain. Mewtwo is such a meanie lol. uggghhhh you silly guys, you can't just talk things out can you :sadbees:. But I see they're all going on a fun roadtrip to Orre, I'm sure that will go fantastic.
Mewtwo fighting the child was brutal. its pretty funny how despite how he espouses his stuff about freeing pokemon he kind of acts exactly like trainers in way. Fighting the Child to prove he has the right to order the Child around. Oh mewtwo....

I did really like the battle, especially stepping into the shadow world to get a tiny edge in fighting mewtwo, and then attacking the masterball. But man talk about absolutely brutal. For all of Mewtwo's blathering about liberation or whatever its exactly no better than the ones it hates. Using power and brutality to take control, hurting everyone. Im quite grouchy about burning the house in particular, what a grade A jerk move.

Wow. That was a lot. It was great to actually finally get a chance to really read this story, enough to get a solid feel for the characters and dynamic and flow. I'll try my best to present some thoughts and overall impressions in an orderly fashion. I actually read all the way up to chapter 39 but by now I think I have started going cross-eyed and having dreams of being an infernape so...

The low
Probably the lowest/least engaging part for me is unfortunately the start of the story. By nature of its setup its rather confusing and a bit jarring and hard to get into. I don't think its bad, but it is extremely mysterious, and might be offputting. But I do think it is also effective in a way. It was actually kind of fun to start to get to the point where I get enough context to actually understand what the heck was going on in those first few chapters. I also can tell that a lot of that comes from the rather fun choice to remain very true to the POV character and their outlook on everything.

There's no need to ramble about details the POV character wouldn't think about constantly. Maybe there's a way to combine these elements? I do think POV centric xeno vibes and slowly unfolding mystery are fun. Maybe it can be condensed a bit, because really its not until 7/8 that things truly picked up for me, which if not for the fact that I trust you as a writer might have otherwise been a barrier to entry of the story.

Anyways, its definitely not all bad or badly written of course, Just a bit frustrating at times, due to lack of knowledge.

The characters
Man these guys are absolutely fantastic, they are brim with absolute like... deranged energy. Having characters who are either jerks or do awful things can be hard to pull of satisfyingly but you do them so well here. The Child, Nate, Mewtwo, Absol. Each of them (particularly the first three) are uniquely troubled. They've done less than great things but there's such a solid sense of internal cohesion, as well as a balance of traits both positive and negative.

They can be frustrating, annoying, and even make me want to yell at the screen, but never because they don't make sense but alwways because they do. I can understand exactly why the Child is how they are, I can get a grasp on Nate as a character, and Mewtwo's rage, even though awful and cruel, is also kind of terrifying but sympathetic. Absol is... okay honestly she's a mystery but since she doesn't have as much screentime that makes sense. But even she feels like she has a lot going on.

The POV
It took me a good bit to really get into the rythym of the story and get a feel for the unique POV, but once I did I found it really interesting. I think my favorite part is honestly how the Child-centric view made it pretty fun to try and deduce what's going through Nate's head at times, since we can only see his words and actions as opposed to internal narrative. I do still wish we could one day have extra Nate POV {at one point I wondered what a 'Salavge but from nate's pov would look like and came to the conclusion it would start with a lot of nearly dying, swearing, and nearly dying again} but generally I found it quite effective for this kind of story. It needs a singular view and additionally filtering it through someone so... challenged in outlook makes it spicier.

The fights
Man I'm kinda jealous of how these fights are. They mesh game logic and real world elements and good flow so well. Plus the Child's unique POV gives us a nice taste of the pokemon side of things. I love all the worldbuilding, lore and details that are in this story. I think i want to steal your skills :quag:. All the fights have a great emotional component too, that helps pull the fights along and keep them interesting, plus some great strategies. I wonder if you have any specific resources you use to think of them, or you just wing it as you write? They're really tasty.

The plot
Bruh WHAT is going on. This story is crazy. What if a kid got crazy mew powers merged with them and then went on a quest to recover Mewtwo after the Cinnabar lab explosion so they could buddycop over to rescue Mew except oops they also got roped in with a swearing and trash disaster man TR member? I love it. Also Shadow pokemon. Hooweee. I don't think I have much complaint about pacing or anything that I haven't already covered. The bit where the Child trusts the obviously evil Eskar but has a change of heart felt pretty by the numbers, but thats not really a bad thing. The execution didn't surprise me in any way, but thats just an observation ultimately.

The themes
I think there's way too much to unpack here but. There's some great stuff woven in without it being said (except when Absol enters the room). Questions particularly about fate, morality, the nature of choice and what identity means. Interestingly, as the story progresses more with mewtwo we get some fascinating opinions on the trainer-pokemon dynamic as well. The identity bit with the child is a fun one to contemplate, especially once I understood how the child can actually alter its brain to perceive things differently. That does kind of put a damper on having a set identity and frame of mind, doesn't it?

The humor
"It wasn't dinner, it was a fucking dead seagull you dumped barbecue sauce on."

You child narrows its eyes at him. "How can you not like barbecue sauce?"
Hysterical. Enough said

I'm glad i could... heh. Salvage the last week of blitz to make progress.
 

ErazonPo3

Bug Catcher
Pronouns
She/her
I'm reading from the fic.thousandroads.net/salvage link, which you state in the intro is the 'definitive' version for now, so let me know if you've revised things since then/would prefer I read from a different mirror. I'm writing comments as I read so I may have a few wrong predictions here and there that I'm going to have to wear on my sleeve, I suppose.

Chapter 1

I felt like I had to reread things a couple times to get the gist of what was happening, but not in a confused way as once it all clicked it all made sense on reread. Your prose is very fluid and atmospheric.

I like all the subtle clues that the child is some kind of Mew without giving it away forthright; the fact that it's a shapechanger means that any description of its body is taken with a grain of salt, but the fact that it clearly isn't a human and- more importantly, lives on Cinnibar and seems to have a bone to pick with the workers at the lab. (At least, I really hope I'm on the money here.)

The hook at the end of the chapter of the child taking on Nicholas' identity and the shift to 2nd person pronouns is really interesting, and I'm excited to see where it goes! I know this is meant to be a darker story, which isn't always my taste but I feel pretty confident that I'll enjoy this one.

Chapter 2

I was wondering who Titan might be, and what the Pokemon that might have been stolen was. It's interesting that Titan doesn't seem to remember what he was to the child, and his negative associations with that nickname. It makes sense he can tell that Nicholas isn't his Nicholas straight away, being his starter, though it's interesting that despite being a full grown Charizard he still acts pretty young so that probably explains why his earliest memories would be foggy if he's not really that old. His battle with Rats shows he's gotten tough, though.

Nicholas (should I be calling him Nicholas or still the child, does the distinction matter?) doesn't do a great job of winning him over, either, it's amusing to see just how poorly he communicates. Assuming he's some kind of Mew, then theoretically he should access to a huge range of moves, which will be interesting to see play out given that I'm assuming he'll try to hide that part of himself in the future from anyone not part of his team.

Okay, Nicholas mentioning that their mission is to save Mew trips a few things up for me, so now I'm assuming the child is the pokemorph that was mentioned in the intro, and that being a shapechanger they're still probably some form of Mew/human hybrid? And it's goal is to rescue the original Mew, I'm assuming.

Titan does remember something, apparently, which makes for an interesting turn. I hope he gets his teeth healed up, though.

Chapter 3

The vague visual of a human face the child might have designed from scratch is terrifying, so it's no wonder it's borrowing other people's haha. Absol seems like a fun character, just a little bit above everything going on around her; the child probably needs someone like that to keep its head on (relatively) straight.

I'm the kind of person who loves the finer details of boring administration systems, so I appreciate this deeper glimpse into the Pokemon League digital network that runs all the backend of trainer IDs and Pokemon registration. As such it's interesting to think of what happens to the files on trainers who end up deceased- namely, nothing. I like the implication here that he's onto the child in some way, because the child accidentally borrowed the identity of the one person who would notice if there were still activity coming from their pokedex. It's a really good setup for a mystery in reverse, and Leonard makes for an interesting enemy to have.

"These days, you're a downright sterling conversationalist" maybe not, but it's a little endearing that they think so. I like that they even seem to enjoy the thought of being an actor, almost as if it's fun for them to play pretend when it's not for some utilitarian purpose.

So, there's two more Pokemon to collect! It makes me wonder what the whole cast looks like- there's Rats, Duskull, Togetic, Absol, and now Titan, and apparently two more. It would make sense if Absol isn't a part of the team team, as just an observer. I wonder what the other two will be, and in particular which one Leonard has.

It's good to see Titan easing up a bit, and the child in a good mood. I do have to wonder if that'll take a turn with the next chapter, but I'll leave it here for now!

I really am excited to read more, but putting together my thoughts as I read makes the process a lot slower. I can only read something for the first time once though, so I'm happy to take my time with it.
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
Here from reading rookidee and great arceus, those are some chapters. I ended up reading up until about 48, when they got to Orre, and it was a ride.
I did not expect league interlude torture chapter, that was both awful and juicy.

I'm mostly really glad Nate got his pokemon back. The child trying to be nice and sort of warming up to Nate only to get spurned was oof. I really liked the bit where the child set aside extra hot dogs for him, that felt really significant. I have a bad feeling Nate will be back somehow...
 
Top Bottom