Brisa hung about outside the house that night, waiting for Luz to come home. They'd agreed to talk, but Luz wasn't big on exact scheduling, and Brisa found herself pacing, nerves heightened.
Relax, came the now-familiar voice of her Shadow.
Yer only afraid that you ain't been good to her. And Luz will forgive that. You know she will.
Sure, but it still felt fucking bad.
Eventually, Luz did turn up, swinging her arms and beaming broadly from ear to ear. That was her all over. Or at least, it had been. There'd been something of a change in her of late... It was good to see that old irrepressible smile.
"Y'wanted a word?" asked the shade.
"Somethin' like that," replied Brisa.
Luz nodded, and gestured to the roof. Brisa chuckled, and accepted the invitation. Of course they both liked rooftop stargazing. And why not? She scaled the wall easily, and joined Luz up high. From on top of a building, a conversation could feel very private.
"I've been meanin' to talk t'you too," said Luz, after a moment's peace. "I figure I'll go first. Make things easy on ya. I know how y'are with these things. You worry too much."
Brisa nodded, already worried that she was about to receive some criticism or censure or shaming, despite Luz's easy tone. "Yeah?"
"Well... I ain't just a combat partner t'ya, y'know?"
"No. I know that."
Luz chuckled. "C'mon. Lighten up a li'l. Lemme see this zeraora form of yers up close. So far I've always been in the stands or in my stone."
Brisa bit her lip, and transformed, taking that bipedal form she'd begun adopting for battle that so resembled Luz. They could be close family, if not for Luz's composition of exotic molasses. In a way, they were. Or maybe even closer than that, Brisa thought, looking at the way Luz moved and spoke and acted so much like a daydream version of herself, had she grown up with more joy, and less hurt. Brisa stilled herself, and listened to what her divergent self had to say.
"That's better," said Luz, smiling warmly. "Now y'look like me. We're... We're both this idea of us. The would-be Wanderin' Lights. Legends in our own lifetimes, huh?"
"Sure," Brisa replied, with a hesitant grin and a quiet chuckle. "I guess we're both different ways t'be 'this', huh?"
"Yeah."
There was a lull, as Luz studied Brisa, and Brisa looked more carefully at Luz than she had in a while. The shade had changed, a little. Her eyes and marks glowed a little brighter. Her 'fur' was a little more well-defined. She felt more solid, somehow.
Luz broke the silence first.
"Look, we both know why things're . . . strange. And I know y'don't like talkin' about what happened. Maybe we don't have to. I mean, fer my sake, I wanted t'feel like there was more t'me than bein' yer familiar, and that's... It's kinda what I've been workin' on. I've been speakin' to Joule, to Zeraora, to Luz Escarpa. I've been hangin' out with other shades. I've been thinkin'. And... Well, there
is more to me than that. We ain't so essential to each other than I don't exist outside of yer life."
Brisa nodded slowly, chewing her cheek, wondering why something that ought to come as a relief filled her with shame.
Luz grinned. "C'mon, that's great news. But listen. I got somethin' to ask ya. But I'd care to hear what you wanted t'say first. Humour me."
Brisa took a hard breath in, and swallowed. "Okay."
How to reply to that, huh? Luz made everything seem so hard when she was confident, and so easy when she was frazzled. And she'd never been more confident than this. Even though Brisa had been taking her for granted. Letting her down.
"I guess I just wanted t'say sorry," she said, softly. "Fer not payin' you enough mind since I... Since I died."
Luz nodded, grinned, put out a paw and gave Brisa's shoulder a squeeze. "I forgive you."
Brisa laughed sharply, gulping down what might have been the start of a sob. Luz laughed too, properly.
"That you did," said the shade. "But it's okay. You can make it up to me. First thing after the fight, let's just... hang out together. Just the two of us. Somethin' other than trainin'. Somethin' other than Colo. Somethin' to bond over that ain't
useful. Somethin' fun. Y'reckon y'can do that fer me, darlin'?"
Brisa let out all the breath that remained in her, and took in new air, fresh night air, untainted by the guilt.
"Yeah," she said. "I'd love to."
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