Pokémon Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Hands of Creation

[BlizzardBricks]

Hi Namo! I've been putting it on long enough, so I'm finally ready to begin reading Hands of Creation!

I don't think I'll comment on every single chapter, but based on everything I've overheard about this story, as well as what has been referenced in Guiding Light and Path of Valor, I can't wait to see where things go from here! Already, I'm immediately curious to learn more about Owen and what his deal seems to be. Also, I'm here for the 7th Anniversary Mini Review Blitz as a plus!

Spoiler: Act 1

The serpent swung its tail forward—a sharp pain surged through Owen’s back. A jerking motion forced Owen’s head down. He saw the blade coming out from his chest. He had no way to scream.

Oh, so that's how Owen got stabbed

“Ngh,” He held his chest. It felt bruised. And his back was killing him.

I'm starting to suspect that the "dream" Owen had wasn't an actual dream

“Of… of course.” At this point, his father’s flaming shoulders were mere cinders. Owen’s mother put her hand on Alex’s back, shaking her head.

I've never given much thought to Magmortar as a Pokemon, but I really like this interpretation of its design, and how it helps to let the reader know how Alex is feeling

“Ever since the second edition, at least.”

... What was wrong about the first edition that needed it to be revised? Is there a chance Owen won't be healed if he faints in a dungeon?

“It’s only the Wooden Wilds, dear,” Amia said. “It isn’t even very far. And it’s mostly just Bug and Grass Pokémon—you have nothing to worry about! He won’t strain himself.” She nodded at both of them.

Amia, what would happen if Owen did accidentally strain himself? If this was to help alleviate Alex's worry, wouldn't you want to tell Alex Owen won't get hurt?

Alex’s fire had finally returned to something normal in size. Amia put away the ceramic dishes, washing them with blue-hot embers coming from her hands, rendering it all to ash that blew away into the rest of the cave outside.

Blue flames keep appearing in this chapter, and I'm really curious why this is. Is Amia not a regular shiny Gardevoir?

“I wish Rhys was still here. Maybe we wouldn’t have had to…”

I'm guessing Rhys might be Owen's actual father? Unless this story doesn't follow normal Pokemon logic, and a Charmander can hatch from an egg made by a Gardevoir and a Magmortar

Spoiler: Chapter 1

Not that it mattered; complete darkness was a foreign concept to Charmander.

I suppose darkness would be a stranger to the Charizard line, since they possess a built in light source at all times

hey usually kept to themselves—it was a secret location, after all, which made it even cooler.

Ironic calling a home for Fire-types cool

Compared to other Charmander, Owen had ‘strong feral genes.’ His lizard face was more pronounced and the whites of his eyes weren’t as visible unless he widened them. His stance was a little hunched and he could run on all fours if he had to go fast. It unnerved people, thinking he was some wild Pokémon… but he wasn’t! His biological parents just… probably had more feral traits or something!

So how did Pokemon end up evolving and becoming "civilized" mons instead of feral. Is this something a normal wild Pokemon can choose to do?

Owen tilted his head, confused. Hadn’t they met before? No, they hadn’t. He was just so well-known that he must have had that impression.

I'm really curious to learn more about Owen's memory issues, and why he keeps experiencing them. Could it just be something he has to deal with, or is it happening for a reason

“It is a special stone that protects Pokémon that have not yet fully evolved. It’s called an Eviolite—and it will be useful if it is near your body. I, of course, have no use for it, but you certainly do.”

... and you just have this on your person, and are willing to give it away to the first Pokemon you meet? I'm a little suspicious Nevren

“I know how you feel.” Owen’s tail drooped. “I’ve trained hard enough to become a Charizard already. I’m sure of it! But, it just never happened. It’s so weird. Everybody else in my scales would’ve evolved by now, but…”

Now I'm also curious to learn exactly why Pokemon like the ones Owen encountered haven't evolved either. Does this world work like the PMD games, where each Pokemon has to visit a spring to evolve?

Alex’s cannons were probably going to explode again.

So this has happened in the past, judging by the "again"?

“Oh, really?” Aerodactyl asked, amused. “That’s a laugh. Okay, kid. But I’ll give you one last chance. Gimme your bag, and I’ll let ya go. Otherwise, I’ll—”

When Owen ran, all that he left behind for Aerodactyl were a few stray embers from his tail.

Well, I guess this is how Owen got mugged

Spoiler: Chapter 2

He was in the same room he had been in before. He even saw the Aerodactyl emerge from the hall next to him. Owen fought against his momentum and scrambled backward.

Welp, talk about having bad RNG

“Hmmm…” Aerodactyl looked at the glimmering stone. “Doesn’t look like a normal Eviolite to me. I bet it’d sell well, though. Sorry, kid. I’m keeping it. And you’re right. My species doesn’t need evolution.”

Calling it now, it's a combined Eviolite/Mega Charizard X stone

Then came a blinding beam of light. Aerodactyl screamed in fright, and then he heard the dull noises of punches and kicks and swipes. And then, panting. Gahi laughing. Demitri told him to quiet down.

How powerful is Team Alloy, for one of their members to have Solar Beam as a Chikorita!?

“It—it was a setup! I swear!” Aerodactyl pleaded. He was still smoking from the Solar Beam, and his left eye was purple and shut completely from Demitri’s Dual Chops. The Dungeon hadn’t healed his injuries, either…

So the 1st Edition of Dungeon Basics was correct, since Aerodactyl should have been healed of his injuries. There's a lot more to this world than it seems

“So, he pays back his debts, and gets a job in the process? I wish it was that easy for me,” Owen mumbled. “My dad wants me to be a berry farmer because my sharp senses would let me tell when they’re ripe or not.”

Sharp senses? I don't think Charmander and their line are known for having extremely sharp senses. Plus, being able to sense the state of plants and the earth sounds more like something I'd expect from a Grass type Pokemon

“…Why’s a Fire carrying around Rawst Berries?” Gahi said. “You guys don’t get burns.”

“Others do, though.” Owen took a hesitant step forward.

I really like this line here. It immediately helps me get Owen's point of view and understand why he carries around berries that heal burns. I think he already is a Heart, just a bleeding one

“Basic Fire isn’t the same as Dragon fire,” Owen said. “It’s… untamed. Violent. Hungry. If I don’t keep it in check… I could do a lot more damage than I need to.” Once the final few Paras left, Owen brought his tail forward and inspected the flame at the end. “I guess I just want to be careful. And if I slip up and get carried away… I want to make things right. That’s part of being a Heart. No fighting if you don’t need to.”

Owen speaks as if he has experience. Has he accidentally hurt others with his fire before? I can't imagine it'd be his parents, given their affinity for fire expressed in the first chapter

Rhys was moving stiffly. That was odd. He usually moved with a graceful flow. Did he notice?

How do you know this Owen? Isn't this your first time meeting Rhys?

“You may call me Rhys,” he said with a small smile. “And I would be happy to.”

Based off of what Alex and Amia said back in Act 1, how will they react to seeing Rhys again?

He then glanced at Rhys’ room. He saw the pink mist again. Oh, Mew in the stars, he thought, taking his final bite. Can’t I have just one normal day?

I love Mew in the stars as a Pokemon swear

I didn't notice any major issues as I was reading through these three chapters. Your writing is really good, and I was able to easily understand what was going on as I read along. I can't wait to see where the story goes next, and kudos! 💙