Pokémon Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Guardians of Balance

[Arukona]

Hello there! It's been quite a while since I last jumped into this fic - all the way back in February 2023, if memory serves. But nearly two years later, I figured I'd check out this fic again seeing as how you have a nice heat bonus built up that I figured I'd cash in on. So may as well get into it, starting with where I left off last time...

Chapter 5

Looks like some interactions with whoever brought Sam to this world, if I had to guess. Though I'm presuming they have a physical presence in this world, almost like they're by his bedside, watching his unconscious self. They clearly want to be kept hidden, though - so will it be a matter of playing "Guess Who the Voice Is?" among the Guild folk here?

And whoever this Voice is, their communication lines are still clearly patchy as hell. I'd get that looked at if I were them.

What a thing to wake up to - a grumpy nurse. Right after being accosted by a Swampert murderer - yeah, not exactly the best entrance to this world, eheh.

"Rebecca didn't even want to be a nurse, but the last one went off to the mainland."

Tilting his own head, Sam could only frown. "Why do it then?"

"Because no one is as good as her with healing moves… as she did volunteer."

Man, even in the Pokémon world, we have a nurse shortage. Alas, there are only so many Pokémon in the world that know Heal Pulse.

This Blaziken's name is Rex, huh? Has this guy made himself the Aegis' driver, by any chance?

Wouldn't be the first PMD fic I've seen where a human says they have amnesia in order to hide the awkward truth that they're a human. I suppose it's a weird enough truth that would have a good few folks go

upon hearing it. A wise move on Sam's part, perhaps.

Chapter 6

Robinswood

Avoiding copyright with one extra S, I see. (/jk of course.)

Quite a visually appealing town we have here in Robinswood. Woodland towns usually bring out the best in fairytale-esque setting like this one.

So this is a setting in the canon world, though the Continents feel like faraway places. And judging by Rex's words, that was all a long time ago where the heroes of each continent saved the world.

Durandolon Bank

It's actually Duraludon. I did notice there were some species in this part that were a bit misspelled - something that might be worth cleaning up on another editing pass, perhaps.

Seems we're taking a leaf out of Rescue Team's book with all of these natural disasters abound.

Another crash rang out, and Sam could almost feel the ground quake from the impact. "-kinda pissed off." The Sableye finished, wiping their forehead with one hand. "He's trying to break the cell door down." Rex rolled his eyes, already clicking his fists together. "Of course he is. I suppose I'm going to have to try and talk some sense into him again."

This part should be separated into three separate lines, like so:

Another crash rang out, and Sam could almost feel the ground quake from the impact.

"-kinda pissed off." The Sableye finished, wiping their forehead with one hand. "He's trying to break the cell door down."

Rex rolled his eyes, already clicking his fists together. "Of course he is. I suppose I'm going to have to try and talk some sense into him again."

Oh, Jack is RT!Caterpie all grown up! Awww, nice to see the little buga from all the way back then evolved.

I wonder, then - if this is Caterpie from Rescue Team, then where are the RT heroes today? I have an inkling where one of them ended up, and a hunch that we may well have seen both of them...

Chapter 7

So the islands in the Sea of Wonder are carved out by mainlanders? I suppose when these islands are brand new chunks of land rising from the sea with seemingly no native inhabitants, there isn't really a society to 'take over', so any new society really is built from the ground up.

Such a new society, in fact, that they haven't had room to sort out universality of different sized 'mons in this town. Hopefully that's something they get around to in future.

"Can you do a fireball!?" Kyle asked excitedly, bobbing up and down in eagerness.

I'm surprised that a Snom would be asking for this given his incredibly disadvantageous typing.

Aaaaand now time for Sam to get carried away by these new arrivals and have Jack wondering, "Where did he go?"

"Grr! This is the kind of cocky shit that will get you killed!"

This is one grumpy Buneary right here. Betting her Frustration attacks do sky-high damage.

Oh wait, you haven't got one, because you spend all day just being some cursed freak!"

'Cursed freak'? Calling it now, this Buneary's a human. And if this is the treatment they give humans...then maybe it was a good thing Sam chose to keep mum about that side of him.

And now a bunny brawl is about to ensue...or it would if this Froakie didn't appear and break things up. Lemme guess, he's gonna be Sam's partner for the foreseeable future.

Aidan certainly seems to have it all together - I'm presuming he's something of a junior leader to this lot.

And now Sam has a place to sleep! Settling in nicely.

Chapter 8

"Well, I used to live on the Sand Continent… my family's kinda rich. I still kinda forget not everyone has got a room that's six times the size of this all to themselves."

I'm surprised to hear that Aidan, a Water-type, is from a continent not exactly plentiful in that sort of thing. And it also seems he's a little rich kid...I wonder if that might imply anything about certain parts of his character? For instance, naivety around how certain things in the world work, as well as maybe his parents being snooty pricks of people? I guess we'll see if this thread unfolds into anything.

So my family made a living by getting all sorts of reservoirs and channels filled up with water. Us water types are pretty good at that, and we need the water more than most so… yeah, they made a lot of Poke from that."

Ah, so that explains that. And that's probably helped a bunch of towns get water that wouldn't have had good access to it otherwise.

By the way Jack is mentioning the bandits here, I'm gonna make an assumption that we're not gonna see the last of them. And there's definitely more to that Swampert than meets the eye, I'm certain of it.

Years ago near enough anyone could form a Team, but now prospective teams have to actually go through tests for a Guild, or selected by a Society. It's mainly making sure everyone is the best of the best."

Ah yes, the usual increase in standards for something the less scarce it becomes. Although I get the feeling that the Guild will need all the hands it can get if these natural disasters keep up.

Aidan sure is speaking rather nonchalantly about the natural disasters and not giving a hoot about how his new partner's taking it. No wonder Sam's shaking like a leaf - imagine how one like him would feel if they were told the world they landed in had a disaster every five minutes. (Well, not quite that short, but you get what I mean.)

And on his first day, Sam has indeed found his partner. Ah, if that's not a common trope, alright. An oldie but a goodie.

Sam shook his head, "Oh- nope, not that… Aidan… this is kinda embarrassing but… can you… err… teach me something?"

And now we have quite an embarrassing ask on Sam's part, to do something that most toddlers have probably been able to do until that point.

Chapter 9

Over to Rex now, who's getting on in years. Almost certainly proof that he was more active as a Guild member in his younger days. I'm presuming that's the premise of Mercenaries of Dawn, where we see Rex in his own adventure as a younger 'mon.

Oh, so Esper was PSMD!Espurr? Lotta callbacks to the main games, huh.

"I'm eighteen." She replied, rolling her eyes. "Besides, I found pulling that trick off kind of neat." She gazed down at the Blaziken rubbing his wrist. On cue, Rex ceased. "I'm fine, I only had to punch Greg once to get him to calm down. He's tenacious that Swampert, I'll give him that." He leaned onto the desk, "I'm guessing you have kept an eye on our new guest?"

Once again, another instance where this should be two parts instead, beginning with where Rex begins speaking. The exchange in dialogue would make it clearer who's saying that second part as well.

"They're businessfolk, there is always something quiet going on behind the scenes."

Implying that there...is something going on behind the scenes? Businessfolk sure do have a knack for shortchanging their customers, and I wouldn't be surprised if Aidan's parents got to where they got to today through a fair deal of swindling.

"You know, when I took up the Guildmaster post for Robinswood, I thought it would be a nice, quiet job before retiring and looking after the kid."

Rex has a kid? As in, a child? Nice to see that passage of time.

Seems like something Not Very Good™ is going to be enforced upon the people of Robinswood which will almost certainly see society on the islands shifted about in a considerably worse way.

Meanwhile, over to Sam, who definitely hasn't mastered the art of Ember yet. We could be here a while, folks.

A headache for Aidan? Hmmm, something tells me that's not normal.

The discussion about Alice makes me wonder if she's a misunderstood, and maybe Sam will be the one that will make her turn away from the path of the grump. Either way, definitely more to her than meets the eye.

Emotions bring out the fire within - or something like that, anyway.

Looks like there's an announcement to be made - which will no doubt be that worrisome thing that Rex was poring over earlier.

Chapter 10

The biggest downside for isekaied humans in PMD worlds - being smol.

Aidan clearly needs to improve his leapfrogging skills when he's not much a climber. Think outside the box and all that.

Aaaand now that Alice is here, time for everyone's mood to go south and for arguing to break out. Good thing Sam's the peacekeeping type.

Seems like there's bad blood between Aidan and his family - I guess that would explain why he'd want to stake things out on his own and not go after the $$$ like his parents.

Sam having peacemaker vibes does further my theory that maybe he will be the one to calm Alice down and make her more amicable. Maybe she'll be a possible future team member.

Good thing Rex doesn't idle when there's pressing matters to attend to.

Oh no, whole towns being destroyed sure ain't a good thing, alright.

And to think this might well be an amped version of what was going on sixteen years ago? Doubly Not Good.

“All Exploration Teams will be reformed as Rescue Teams, with their primary focus returned back to Rescue operations. Exploration will take a much more reduced role."

Explorers stocks in shambles.

But hmmm, what's this sudden second-person POV? Probably that mysterious voice from a few chapters ago. That said, I do feel like if you are to change POVs like this, then it should be made clearer through a line break or something like that.

Strange that they're this invisible, ethereal entity. My money's on the one who brought Sam to this world.

But it appears we'll have to wait a bit longer to figure out just who they are.

Chapter 11

I see Robinswood has its own version of a Guild alarm clock in this Noibat here. I wonder if there's always a

feeling from the other Guildies if a sound-based Pokémon like Loudred or Noibat ends up as a new recruit, as if they're thinking, "Oh no, my mornings are going to be ruined from now on."

Oh shit!

In that instant, Sam's muscles relaxed, and the Scorbunny sprung upright, his head spinning around to find the sunlight shining. "Damn it, what time is it!?"

"W-What do you-"

The Froakie's eyes snapped open, the frog rolling off his bed and landing with the grace of a brick. "The trials! Shit! I forgot that was happening!” He cursed, reaching into a half open drawer for a small mechanic device, “Shit! We need to get over to the tree in about ten minutes!”

Sam threw himself off his own bed, helping prone Aidan upright. "We better get moving!"

"E…err, can I pack a bag?" Aidan moaned, shaking his head sharply.

"Who gives a shit!" Sam barked,

One too many uses of 'shit' here in this sequence. Might be better to mix it up with other words of similar impact like 'damn'.

"I… I'm…. definitely… not… used to… running… with these legs…"

I guess… that run from the barracks is a lot longer… than my… err… escape.

I suppose when you're small like Sam is, there is more distance to travel as a result. The woes of being smol continue.

The Noibat's named Nia, eh? Time to make her headcanon voice a Welsh accent, especially considering we've already got a Rex in here.

So Alice is quite strong, then? I wonder if that has any relation to her being 'cursed'.

"She'll probably leave you for dead before you know it!"

Geez guys, with all of these things you're saying about Alice, you're making her sound almost sympathetic. I'm even more certain there's a softer side to her, or another side that we're not hearing about thanks to these guys' prejudice about her.

I presume that since these are islands we're on, that there'll be a sea port and Sam will travel on a ship at some point afterward.

I'm not sure whether Broken Woods dividing itself into three smaller Mystery Dungeons is a good thing or not. Since yes, that does mean Sam and Aidan will have an easier time, but on the other, the Mystery Dungeons breaking down implies a sense of instability, which could be worrying in the future when it could well get worse. Just what'll happen to the ferals within, and the land taken over by the Mystery Dungeons?

And now Sam's here to ask another question that a younger 'mon would be able to answer in a heartbeat.

Conclusion

But I guess we'll have to wait until next time to figure out how that question's gonna be answered.

I enjoyed getting back into this fic after so long away from it. It feels quite close in feel to the canon PMD games, and seeing as how it's an extension of the canon PMD world with the newly formed islands in the world, that would make sense that it steers closer to canon than the original setting. Especially since there are outright confirmed characters from the days of Rescue Team, like Jack, as well as Rex who's heavily implied to be the Rescue Team hero (at least that's my presumption). This new setting of Robinswood builds on something new with its setting, yet familiar all the same.

One point of praise I have is that the chapters are nice and short. Very digestible, and that does make for easy reading and getting through chapters, knowing that they're not too long and thus it won't take too much of an effort to read them.

I am curious where some character arcs are going to head. The most intriguing one to me is Alice, with how she's written off as a curse by just about everyone and acts out against them in an aggressive, distrusting manner. Yet I'm hedging my bets that Sam might be able to make her cold side thaw a bit and make her more approachable, after which there could be some big apology for her from everyone in the Guild who mistreated her. Or maybe not - maybe she won't learn her lesson, she'll end up striking out on her own and become allied with the Big Bad of this fic, whoever they might be. Then there's also Aidan, who I'm willing to bet will have some confrontational arc with his snooty parents who will visit the islands at some point to try and persuade him to come home. And finally, I'm willing to bet that Rex is the human from Rescue Team, and will have some kind of "I know what it's like" moment to Sam, where he fully explains his story, what he's been through, and what being a human typically means for this world. Seeing as how this is quite Rescue Team-related, I'm not expecting any of the other heroes to come into the picture - but I guess that remains to be seen if the other Continents will come into the picture.

One slight criticism I have is around character names. It might seem like an odd nitpick, but I do feel that some of their names are a bit...on the vanilla side of things. I have to confess that when I hear quite common English-sounding names such as 'Jack', 'Kyle', 'Greg' among most characters in a setting like this, it does take me out of things a little bit. It can feel a little odd in a fantasy setting, one separate from our world, for the characters to only have names that are quite common in our own world. Ultimately, it's not a huge deal, but I do think peering at Behind the Name for names a little more unique might be worth it. I use this site a lot for naming characters and I can't put into words how much of a godsend it's been for me as a writer. Even among the 'English' section, there's plenty of obscure and interesting names to consider. Or you could take a leaf out of Hands of Creation's book, where for every common-sounding name (Owen, Alex, Rhys), there's usually a name that's rather unique (Amia, Gahi, Anam). Given that you're many chapters into this, perhaps it's a little too late to implement it, but it was a thought I had nonetheless, and one I wished to voice.

There's some other small criticisms on the prose side of things, namely with the occasional instance of two characters speaking in the same chunk of text when grammar says to parse them apart, along with some species not being spelled properly. These are some things that an editing pass or two can solve, and they're only small issues at the end of the day.

Anyway, that's all for this review. Hopefully throughout this year I might be able to get deeper into this fic through a V-Wheel or Review Tag over at United. I enjoyed it and hope to see more. Good work, and I wish you luck with your writing going forward.

 

[StolenMadWolf]

POKÉMON MYSTERY DUNGEON
GUARDIANS OF BALANCE

EPISODE II – DARK, WONDEROUS PAST
CHAPTER XXIII – FACE TO FACE WITH A PATRON​

As Sam and Alice had started to prepare for their run on the temple, on one of the separate islands, one could just make out a distant flicker of light. For most, it would look like a distant star in the night sky. But from one specific angle, it would be blinking on and off like a makeshift lightbulb.

Atop the mountain, the light beacon was alight with flame, a few pieces of wood sheltered from both sight and the wind by a new rocky windbreak. It did have one opening however – one that was being covered on and off by a confused looking Odessa's wing. "What exactly am I saying with this… code?" she questioned, as she repeated a simple pattern of raising her wing for a second, then three seconds, then a single second again before repeating.

Standing next to her, Kaliani watched her movements. "It's SOS. Every shipmon knows it, and the Explorers guilds do as well!"

"More like everyone knows it." grumbled Denver, dragging an extra log over to the light beacon. "You sure the guild will see it from here?"

That was something that worried Kaliani. Without a focusing element, they couldn't project the beam over as vast distance. But if someone was closer, hopefully the regular signal would be enough to garner someone's attention. It had been a couple of hours since night had fallen… there was still time to-

"Wait a second…" Denver said, jabbing his rear stinger towards something in the distance. "What's that?!"

He was pointing in the direction of where they sailed from!

Kaliani spun to look, and the Chieftain lowered her wing fully to get a better look. But as Kaliani looked down the mountain side towards the water, no ship appeared. Her heart sank, "But… where-"

"Not down there!" Denver snapped, "Up there!"

This time, she looked up to find a black shape flying in their direction, it was gigantic, it's wings beating steadily as it approached. Underneath, a basket hung in it's talons, containing another bipedal shape in it's shadow.

As they approached, their forms became apparent. The flying creature was something the sailor recognised as a Corviknight, and their passenger-

"Holy shit, Rex!?" Denver shouted, his face turning red as the trio scurried over to the basket, where the Blaziken had stepped onto the gravel underfoot.

Rex raised a brow towards Denver, "Sorry I'm late." He explained, "We've been scouting around the islands to try and find the Penguin and Crow."

"Blown out of the fucking water by the pirates." Denver explained.

Rex's features darkened, eyes narrowing. "Where is everyone?" he questioned.

Odessa patiently stood to one side as Denver and Kaliani hastily summarised what had been happening, who was suspected to be where, the threat of the pirates, and finally, the current plans. Rex absorbed all that information, his brow furrowed at their words. There was a brief flicker of shock - or was it worry? – when they mentioned the pirates gunning for fire types, but the guild master managed to keep his face composed right up until they finished.

The Blaziken scratched his chin for only a second, "Then we need to move quickly." He stated, before turning towards the chieftain. "Apologies, I just needed to find out the fate of my people. Guildmaster Rex." He introduced himself, extending a hand in greeting.

"Chieftain Odessa." She replied, shaking the hand. "Your rescuers say you would be of great help to us."

"Indeed we can." Rex confirmed, "The Red Kite was preparing to depart just as I set off with Clovis." He motioned towards the Corviknight, who merely bowed his head towards the Decudieye.

"I can pass on word back to the Guild for you." The knightly bird explained.

"Just you?" Kaliani asked, "Guildmaster, does that mean…"

"I'm staying." Rex declared, rubbing his wrist as a brief flicker of flame erupted from it. "I can help co-ordinate with the Kite but first of all, I need to know exactly where Team Audacity have gone."

---

Sam and Alice were surrounded completely in darkness, sans for the glowing mural under their feet. The faint hum sounded through the air around as the lift continued to descend deeper into the temple. Sam partly wanted to approach the edge of the platform, but frankly he had no idea how far off the ground they were. Heights and all.

"How far do you think this goes?" Alice asked, trying to peer into the blackness.

Sam bit his lip, "No idea… huh… must be close."

A faint white-blue light formed around the edges of the platform, revealing four rocky pillars slowly appearing out of the darkness across on each corner. The hum started to quieten down as the lift started slowing down, sliding into a circular slot on the floor before finally fading away as the ground juddered beneath them. Sam's legs quivered as he steadied himself. The lift, still lit with the same mural, was nestled into a smaller pyramid structure itself, with only a few steps leading down to a lower floor. Down each set of steps, there was a path that ran towards what appeared to be tunnels on three sides and what the Scorbunny had to guess was another mural. Perhaps a door?

Along the walls and pillars, small, cylindrical lights flared into life. Not to different from torches judging by the flickering light contained within yet more… artificial somehow.

Sam rubbed the back of his head as he stepped forward, "Err… anybody home?!" he called out, his voice echoing throughout the chamber.

No response came.

Alice moved to join him, looking slightly miffed at him, "Do you want everyone to know we're here?" she moaned,

"Hey, just figured I'd give it a try." Sam replied. In truth, he kinda just wanted to do it. Get a sense of scale of the place. He just hoped there wasn't anything else inside the temple with them. No pirates seemed to have followed them in at least, which was convenient.

"Where do we start then?" Alice asked, cracking her knuckles. "This place is massive. Squishy didn't suggest anything?"

"No… but I do have a good guess on where to start." Sam stated, moving to walk down the steps leading towards the large mural on the wall. He tried his best to ignore his footsteps echoing across the stone floor as he approached the mural, with Alice right behind him. It seemed to be made of a trio of rings surrounding a single circular symbol. The very familiar tear and star symbol that Sam figured was the Guardian's own. He fiddled with his lips as he looked over markings surrounding the symbol, it didn't look remotely like the others he had seen upto this point.

"That looks familiar." Alice mused, moving ahead of him. In front of the mural was a small carved obelisk sticking out of the ground, marked with a smaller version of the Guardian emblem. Almost like on the elevator platf-

Sam hissed as a pulse of pain flared across his paw. Wincing, he lifted it up to find blood flowing slowly out his stinging hand, his digits already stained with the stuff. "Damn it!" the Buneary growled, hopping back over to his side and pulling out an Oran Berry. "Why the hell did you do that?"

The Scorbunny gritted his teeth as Alice tore a small chunk off the berry and rubbed it over the wound. "Well, it worked for Kain and Kaliani right?" he replied, wafting his hand to one side. "Maybe it's extra security."

Glowering back, the Buneary flicked her head towards the door. "These Guardian's better not have any more blood 'locks' through here. I'm not patching up your hand everytime you decide to cut it open."

Still feeling a faint stinging sensation across the healing paw, Sam strolled towards the obelisk. "Trust me, I'd rather not do that again." He said, feeling a little sick to his stomach as he walked towards it. Where was he… oh yes, the obelisk. It looked similar to the small rock feature that cleared the weather atop Waterfall Mountain. Perhaps it could open a passageway, like the symbol did on the elevator.

Well, let's hope that this symbol doesn't need blood too.

Gingerly, and using his unwounded hand, Sam pressed the symbol on the obelisk. Another chime rang out through the air, and with a low rumble, the rings on the wall started to rotate. Ah… so it was a door…

"I don't get it." Alice questioned, pumping her ears as a faint clunking began to work it's way through the door. "These… locks don't make any sense. I can't use them, yet you can. Then there's the whole blood thing."

It hadn't really crossed the Scorbunny's mind. "Maybe this Master ended up… I don't know, coding me into it."

"But how would he even know what to look for?" Alice replied, a final clunk reaching Sam's ears from the door. "Or even do the same for the Oracle?"

"I've got a feeling we're going to find out." Sam replied, willing a fire to kick start inside him as the door slowly began to grind itself apart open. He instinctively brought a foot back, waiting to see if anything would anything or anyone would come charging out from the otherside. But no shape emerged, leaving only a dark corridor to appear.

Together, the two rabbits crept forward towards the opening passage before them. The interior was initially dark, but as they reached the threshold and the doors ceased moving, another set of sealed torches flared into life. Unlike the others, these lights were warmer, offering a yellow glow to their surroundings.

Sam's skin tingled as he gawked at the sight inside. "Whoa…"

The corridor had a lower ceiling compared to the chamber before, albeit still towering over their heads. Pillars ran just in front of the walls themselves, but in between each one, there was a large statue that stood at least eight times their height. Each one had a distinct shape and form, albeit the one thing they had in common was they were all creatures. Like Pokemon, but far more… regal in their appearances. A complete contrast from those of the Pokemon he had seen before.

"Okay…" Sam said as he took a few tentative steps forward. "I wasn't expecting this…"

Alice frowned for a moment, only for her eyes to widen with… a flicker of wonder? "I know these!" she said, staggered.

"Huh?"

She hopped over to one of the first statues, a hulking reptilian creature, one that upon closer inspection had a few glistening red lines running through part of it. "This is Groudon, a super-ancient legendary."

A legendary? What, like Tapu Koko?

Before he could even ask again, Alice had already turned to the other side of the corridor, looking at the statue opposite, complete with blue lines and looking like some kind of fish or whale maybe? "Which makes this Kygore! The land and the ocean!"

Startled by Alice's sudden change in demeanour, Sam felt a little spring in his step as he stepped further inside. "Who are you and what did you do to my partner?" he teased.

Failing to contain her smirk, Alice rolled her eyes as she moved to join him. "Mum and Dad talked about a few of the legendaries when I was a kid… I haven't really been thinking about it until now…"

They moved towards the next set of statues, this time what appeared to be a spiky bird and a cat with massive of some kind, this time marked with yellow lines. "Zapdos… and Raikou." She said, moving onto the next pair. "Articuno and Suicune. Then Moltres and Entei." Alice let out a faint gasp, "It's… every legendary."

Sam's gut vibrated as he walked further down, looking at a pair of bipedal dragons in a solid black and white colour respectively. "Must have considered them pretty important." He replied, "I remember reading up on these two by accident. Zekrom and… Reshiram?" he asked himself. He turned, but Alice was already skipping on ahead, almost unnaturally mesmerised by the scene. The fire-type chuckled to himself, even with the danger of pirates no doubt pounding on the ceiling door, he felt himself warm up with delight at his partner's sudden cheery nature.

His smile quickly vanished from his face as he reached the next statue though, one that Alice mustn't have noticed. Another reptilian, with a mix of red, yellow and blue lines running along it's surface, a giant ring extending from it's back.

"Volcanion…" Sam coldly uttered, stepping closer to look over the doppelganger of the mythical that chased them out of Broken Wood. The same thing that nearly pressure cooked them alive.

"I, Volcanion, shall not abide by this trespass any longer! You cannot be allowed to leave with the knowledge of this place!"

Sam went cold, Hang on a second… if the Legendaries and Mythicals are represented here… and there was… his mind drifted back to the mural hidden in the depths of Broken Wood… not too dissimilar to the ones they had later come across. That down there… could… could the Guardians…

"Alice?" he called out, "I think I've got something on Volcanion."

No response. Sam's pulse quickened as he scanned back down the corridor, "Alice?"

The Buneary was staring at another statue, quite close to the end of the corridor where Sam could spot a larger chamber. Frowning, he made his way towards her, passing a few more statues along the way. His worry only gnawed at him more when he reached her side, her fists tight and her eyes cold as she stared at the statue. It was that of a bird, albeit one that lacked the same degree of flight feathers and was coloured almost completely red. In fact, from where it was positioned, it looked almost like a flying Y.

Y… Where would that-

Sam's heart missed a beat as he connected the dots. If there was one Legendary that Alice would know… especially to react this way… "Alice… is that who I think it is?"

Alice's fists tightened, "Yveltal." She quietly growled, her voice quivering. He couldn't tell if it was grief or rage.

Maybe a bit of both.

Sam looked up at the rather menacing form of Yveltal. He hadn't quite come across much regarding that Pokemon in what little he had read… but he knew enough from Alice. The same Pokemon that was under the influence of Dark Matter.

One of those that had a hand in killing her parents…

Gently, Sam rested his uninjured paw on Alice's shoulder. She didn't react, her eyes still fixed on Yveltal's statue. "Come on." He quietly urged her, "We need to keep looking."

Alice didn't say anything, but as he carefully pulled her along, she followed, tearing her eyes away from the statue as they stepped into the larger chamber beyond. It was a large, circular chamber, with a set of stairs leading up to a higher level. More statues surrounded the edge, slightly larger than before. Sam could recognise one of them straight away, a serpentine form with green outlines running along its surface. "Rayquaza. The legendary that blew up that meteor years ago." He noted. "Though… I don't really know what the big guy does otherwise. Any ideas Alice?"

"A guardian of the sky, a bit like Groudon and Kygore. I recognise a few of the others too." Alice admitted. "But I definitely don't know about this one."

Turning, he found her looking over one final statue, one positioned right at the centre of the room near the base of the stairs, even larger and more detailed than the others. Honestly, he was surprised he missed it the first time, probably being that focused on how Alice was faring. "Seems a little bit… different from the others." She added.

This new statue looked a bit like a snake, coloured a brilliant if rough green alongside a dark black. A few hexagons were visible across it's surface, four of which seem to double as eyes. From behind it's head, five dark frills rose above it. Alice is right… this one is… strange…

"Yeah… why place it here? Sure you definitely don't recognise them?"

Alice shook her head, "All the ones on Air and the well-known ones at least." She admitted, "But definitely not a big snake." She waved a hand towards the foot of the statue. "I can't read that either."

"Read?"

Sam leaned forward to inspect the base of the statue, where there was a plague written on in some kind strange text. It didn't look much like the Unown characters, or the other kinds of characters he had seen before in every day notices back at the Guild. This was more… artistic, with several lines forming distinct symbols. Four of them to be precise.

Huh… okay, what kind of langu-

The symbols blurred, distorted and started to change shape. Sam blinked and rubbed his eyes, was his vision blurring? No, it's was the characters, forming into the more familiar Unown script.

"Can you read this?" Alice asked, leaning forward to look him over.

"I… I think so." Sam replied, rubbing his eyes again as he had a closer look. A new word had formed, something he could read. "Zy… Zygarde."

"Zygarde?" Alice replied, looking over the statue.

Sam rolled the word in his mind, Zygarde… who are they? The Guardians must have found them important enough to-"

"Have a big statue of them?" finished a squeaky voice.

Out of nowhere behind them, a familiar green blob had appeared out of nowhere. Sam spun, blinking at the sight. "The hell – Squishy? What are yo-"

Alice's head swivelled, "Wha-?"

"-doing here?" Squishy finished for him, their body jiggling with delight as they hopped over towards them. "Well, technically I'm not here. I'm just a projection. Seems like this chamber has the means to do that from outside your head!"

"Sam…" Alice quietly questioned, "What's going on?"

The Scorbunny hissed softly, one of his ears dipping. "Ugh… okay, Alice. Squishy has somehow… got out of my dreams and… is standing right there."

Alice scowled at him, "I can see that!"

"I don't know-" Sam's mouth hung open, looking towards his partner, "Wait. You can see him too!?"

"For once, yeah!" Alice replied.

Squishy looked somewhat embarrassed at this, "Yeah, the technology in the Arcanum can allow for mental projections to be seen by multiple people at once. Pretty cool."

Sam scanned the room as the strange creature hopped past, approaching the statue of Zygarde. I wonder where these… projectors are being kept. I don't see anything that could do that.

"So… you two have finally got in." Squishy announced, settling themselves in front of the statue. "I'm sure you both are going to be wondering about question one… who am I exactly? How can I get in here?"

"Given you've been mucking around with my partner's head." Alice grumbled, "I think we could do with that."

Tapping his foot, Sam crossed his arms, "Squishy… you did say we'd find out who you were. So… who are you exactly?"

He was frankly done with tip-toeing around things, it was about time they started gaining answers.

Despite lacking a mouth, Sam could tell that the creature was trying to grin. "Well, you're looking right at me!"

"The fuck is he on about…" Alice quietly groaned.

Yeah… not exactly helpful.

He rubbed his eyes, scanning over Squishy's form. The green blob, the white eyes, the red hexagon… how did that even help?

Wait… hexagon.

The same one stuck inside of Squishy.

Gingerly, Sam tilted his head up towards the statue of the snake Legendary, it's hexagonal shaped eyes staring blankly forwards.

"You've figured it out." Squishy said, their voice deepening.

"Sam?" Alice asked worryingly. "Figured what out?"

No… we can't have just met another…

"Go on Sam." Squishy encouraged, "You can say it."

The Scorbunny turned his eyes down towards the green Pokemon standing underneath the snake. And when Sam finally spoke, his voice was quiet and shaky from the gravity of the name.

"…Zygarde."

Spoiler: Writer's Notes

Well, time to throw in a longer chapter than originally planned, with a pretty big and important reveal at the end... the first of a few big ones coming up within this episode that are really going to change Sam and Alice's perspectives on the wider world. So, I hope this one can get you excited for what's to come! Some of these chapters might be longer than my 2k word target for now, but that's because there is alot of ground to cover!

Looking forward to revealing what comes next!

 

[Kiba Makuro]

Older Review port
Prologue, Chapter 1 Wake Up, Chapter 2 Forward and Onwards, and Chapter 3 Shoulda seen that coming.

Hi StolenMadWolf, I’m here for an outdoor kitchen set, or commonly known as V-Wheel.

So we start out the prologue section of the first chapter by seeing a glimpse of your Pokemon world. Right now as an unnamed Continent, one with a kingdom or at least a major castle and Pokemon in some sort of organization with denoting ranks.

For Guardians of Balance we aren’t introduced to what appears to be our first main character, Sam for a bit. We do get to see some Mythical Pokemon, antagonist or protagonist causing havoc, and then pushing back. I'll be patient for a recontextualized meeting of Zarude and Zeraora.

But let's focus on Sam. Thankfully he knows what Pokémon are, and even seems to know what Trainers are. Perhaps he was a former Trainer or is from a world where he knew about them.

The first real chapter opening is standard with the whole "I'm a Pokémon" thing, which bored me for a second. However with the Rattata and Pidgey things definitely ramped up in a unique way. Poor Sam assumed he could just talk to anyone, but for a pmd protag it's usually a coin flip between the first Pokemon you meet. They’ll either be your partner or actively try to harm/belittle you.

The way you worded everything was done well. Your prose felt fine for the most part. Maybe some dialogue hiccups here and there but subjective and minor, none to the point where I had trouble.

From the glimpses we get in the prologue this society seems to border on the realm of a fantasy kingdom. It seems like Mythical and Legendary Pokemon have a higher influence on this world than just appearing as a boss battle or a deity to pray to.

I enjoyed the worldbuilding mentioning that items have a visible signifer to differentiate similar ones, like Blast Seeds and Plain Seeds. I have an inkling that this will be brought some more, and used by/against Sam and his future allies too.

For the first two chapters, nothing exactly happens. Like no named characters do much of anything in the first three chapters. Technically the pacing is actually fine. The amount of set up you have done and building blocks set up in these chapters matches the word count in my personal opinion.

If anything I don’t want to waste your time dragging this review out trying to find ways to offer advice and constructive criticism. I just think that perhaps something more interesting could happen to Sam when he wakes up.

Something that forces him to get used to or question his new body, whether it be a conflict with nature, (like a landslide or other dangerous weather) or maybe even just a conflict with society (he briefly encounters a Pokemon, wild or from a settlement and has to talk with).

Only till the very end do we get some dulled suspense and action. The Rattata and Pidgey have a beaten body behind them and attack the Scorbunny. Sam is definitely way over his head. With the way this area was written I didn't exactly realize it on the first read around- but I can't place the blame all on you. And there's a Swampert who the Scorbunny foolish tries to size up. Sam is on the path of " justice" to those who could kill him and has to book it.

I will say these do work well as introduction chapters to the more fleshed out world and story, this is a bit of a shame I don’t have time to cover where I believe the plot starts to pick up.

I hope to read and review more again soon!

 

[Kiba Makuro]

Old Review Port

Hiya Stolen Madwolf I’m here for Guardians of Balance Chapter 4 Stuff ain't what its made up to be.

Here again for Review tag

Boy oh boy does this chapter really pick off from last time.

Sam has quite the interesting start for a pmd protag, but it is a well welcomed one, being attacked by dangerous outlaws right off the back.

I will say the chase scene here though while it has good intentions I think some of the word choices for the Scorbunny’s movements, and thoughts may have hampered the chapter. The wording often made everything a bit passive and slower. “Would have done xyz” or “Tried to abc” are the frequent offenders.Despite this the dialogue is good. We can get the tension back up from back and forths, and little comments pretty well.

The Swampert, Rattata, and Pidgey are not quite coordinated, but it doesn’t matter as they have more natural skill and strength. Tensions ran fast and high as Sam got caught.

While quick the descriptions of the knockout attack and the sensations after I feel like there's something missing.

They even offer Sam a position into their ranks instead of immediately killing him. This allows the audience to get another good look at his morals and personality.

The real fun part was when the Blaziken, Scyther, and Gallade trio rescued Sam. The flow of the sentences worked really well for the action.


After it seems like its over the Scorbunny gets to fire off a real attack and we see the real will of his determination. Really liked that, it's simple but great.


If there's any other mild issues I had was the epithet usage, “water-type” and “the bird” creeping up a little too much, yes these enemies don't have given names to use but I'd recommend just using their Pokémon species.


Of course this chapter is probably a few years old at this point so everything I mention is just to keep in mind, (or you already know, if which sorry)


The fic being in 3rd person limited is good but too much is telling us everything Sam felt, maybe a little space here and there to see it in between would be nice.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[Kiba Makuro]

Howdy there StolenMadWolf, I'm back for more Guardians of Balance with V-Wheel.

This time I'm covering Chapter 5, Bedside Manners, Chapter 6 Robinswood, Chapter 7 Happy Frog, Angry Rabbit, and Chapter 8 Opportunities.


As I’m doing this review of the four chapters together, it’ll most likely be in general strokes and out of order.

Spoiler: Actual Review

If anything, these set up a slightly more typical opening, as Sam learns about healing, tries to figure out his starting place in Robinswood, gets a glimpse at some Pokemon he’ll be interacting with at the Guild, and then manages to get a partner. And all it took was some abuse, walking, and more abuse.

Right off the back I have something to mention, it’s not a good look for the first named female characters Sam meets are stereotypically bitchy and rude. While Rebecca and Alice have different reasons, one of which is just straight up told, while the other could be implied. This seems to be a semi-infrequent problem with writers, either rude as hell or just mother/love interest female characters. I suppose they may border on Tsundere but not everyone means to do that.

To give you credit, the first male characters were also assholes to Sam, however they were/are the baddies pure evil. I guess when doing dark, we either have mean circumstances plot wise, with or without the characters, and it’s easier to do it with hate-sinks, and jerks than near-impassable mountains and what not. Though you can have a dark world without half of the characters introduced early on being mean. Drama is more exciting, and these chapters are a few years old, so you’ve definitely got more characters to show, who won’t be grating on first blush.

Sorry if that came off really harsh, but it’s just something a little hard to ignore when the ladies, when they basically get two chapters of their own, compared to chiller dude chapters.

Anyway let's talk about something way more positive, the readability, reading Guardians of Balance is very easy. Short bite sized paragraphs, decent “paintings” of certain locales, and the talks rarely, if ever drag. The chapters being broken up into small, clearly sectioned off pieces, can also encourage more reading. Even if others may use that against you, with the bare minimum. Though it wouldn’t hurt to place some of the smaller parts with a bigger chapter.

Though the chapters do feel a bit empty at times, like the talking heads phenomenon, characters' conversations are all that matters. I think only really getting Sam’d thought’s, and just reactions/ not active actions from everyone else hurts a tad. Body language is usually kept to nods, and lacks a bit of that xenofiction- my characters aren’t human oufthm, bunnie’s nose twitching, foot stomping, moving bubbles, or preening feathers. It doesn’t have to be in every line of course but it could help spice things up. It’s funny because you show off the more Pokemon side of characters, but only when they are upset or fighting, at least in these four chapters. It’d be nice to see them elsewhere, though avoiding too much filler seems to be your style.

Like I mentioned earlier, when you stop to describe the background, or a new location we can usually get a good feel for how it looks, and would be in real life. Clear prose, while not being too literal is nice. But some more imagery, and spreading this out a little more would be nice.

I know others have said it, but the Sea of Wonders being the the area Robinswood is located is pretty cool, not many fics tackle canon in this way. Being heavily post-canon but maintaining its own solid identity is solid. The whole deal with explaining the TalonKnight’s was nice- we love ourselves some later gen birdmon was fun. Pelipper needs to sit in the corner with mainline pmd. We didn’t need a long explanation and we didn’t get one, short, sweet and succinct. In my opinion, we didn’t need one yet, but I can see other readers immediately wishing for any bits of new lore.

As for lore, with how small these chapters are, and the fact that we are still in our pseudo-tutorial area the most we are getting is just on the formation of Robinswood, and some vague bickering about Team stuff, and the hints of a new othering “what makes one a freak here?”. We end off getting some time frames, Red Rescue Team (iirc) took place about fifteen years ago in your world, and would you look at that some lore to the left aside Sand Continent from Super, that’s great.

At least we end this chapter on a solid note, Aiden has recruited Sam so they can have their own Exploration Team. Though I know Alice gets involved, so I’m wondering how that ends up occurring, since she definitely wouldn’t want to join them if they just asked her. Perhaps we’ll see more of the Guild, and Robinswood in the next few chapters.

See you then!