Starlight Aurate
Ad Jesum per Mariam | pfp by kintsugi
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Long time, no see! I'm back for the Review Blitz, and this time I'll start at chapter 11.
Chapter 11
I like the delve into Nip's mind where we see how differently things look from his POV--he stole the egg purely to stay alive, but in everyone else's eyes, it was just cruel, callous murder.
Haru refusing to accept Nip's explanation for his actions reads like she's in denial. She's lived in a village of vegetarians for so long that she doesn't seem to understand the necessity of death and suffering in a way that Nip does.
Despite Haru and Nip saying they don't care about what each other thinks, it's obvious that they do. Haru wouldn't have gone to his cell in the first place, and Nip wouldn't be so wounded by her words and actions if it wasn't so. It's kinda sweet to see that, even with their outward disagreement with each other, they still do care for each other.
Ah, we get to meet Tempest!
Chapter 12
Interesting they didn't know regional variants were a thing.
This chapter was a nice continuation from the previous and a good setup for the next. Even though stuff happened (meeting Tempest! Learning a bit more about him!), I felt like it served more to lead in for the chapter coming up, but I never found myself getting bored or antsy was a thing. I like the little insights we get to Umbra's point of view, and I'm itching to know more about what she's up to.
Chapter 13
Geeze, Haru, have a bit of compassion and mercy on Nip for his situation! Poor guy, that must be so brutal.
Huh, so Tempest says that Nip is all he has left! But Tempest had a mate, didn't he? Shimmer saw her when she dove into Tempest's memories. I wonder what happened to her--I wonder what happened in general! Umbra definitely isn't happy to see him, and with good reason, since it seems like he'll be capable of clearing Nip's name. I can't imagine Jhorlo will be too happy at having Tempest there, either. I wonder if Umbra was the one who tried to kill him, or at least stop him from speaking? If not her, then who's working with her to stop him?
Speaking of Johrlo, I'm personally itching to see more of him! He's been talked about quite a bit, as everyone is waiting for him to assess and make the decisions as to what to do with Nip and Tempest, but he's yet to be seen in quite a bit. Last I remember, he was teaming up with Umbra and planning on eating Nip, so he's more of a dirty hypocrite than anybody else in the village! He not only doesn't follow the rules, but he doesn't even follow the ones that he made and enforces on everyone else! I can only imagine how he's going to react when he sees Tempest has arrived.
There's a lot going on, and while many questions are answered, there's still more! You do a good job of keeping the plot moving forward and giving bits of the story, a little at a time, without dragging it on or feel like things are moving too slowly. In general, I felt like everything moved at a decent pace, which is really nice.
I think my only critique with these chapters would be the interaction we had with Toshi and Haru in Chapter 12. It felt like their conversation quickly turned from the way Haru treated Nip to how she treats her father to blaming Regigigas for their grandfather's death. It's all valid for them to go over, and stuff that's understandable for her to be angry about. But the conversation just felt a bit on-the-nose, not like a natural flow, and it just didn't emotionally hit for me.
But! Aside from that, you've got a very compelling story here. I'll definitely be back for more--and hopefully before next year's Blitz, hehe.
Chapter 11
I like the delve into Nip's mind where we see how differently things look from his POV--he stole the egg purely to stay alive, but in everyone else's eyes, it was just cruel, callous murder.
Haru refusing to accept Nip's explanation for his actions reads like she's in denial. She's lived in a village of vegetarians for so long that she doesn't seem to understand the necessity of death and suffering in a way that Nip does.
He's running for his life, Haru, I don't think that's overreacting!As he spoke, he could see the Haru’s expression begin to shift towards one of deep concentration. “Are you… sure you’re not overreacting a little?”
Despite Haru and Nip saying they don't care about what each other thinks, it's obvious that they do. Haru wouldn't have gone to his cell in the first place, and Nip wouldn't be so wounded by her words and actions if it wasn't so. It's kinda sweet to see that, even with their outward disagreement with each other, they still do care for each other.
Poor Nip, I feel you :( I move a lot and I always struggle to sleep in new places, and none of those places have ever been prison! I think it's sweet that he says a prayer before drifting to sleep, in that he's still hoping and trusting in a higher power.Only once he was totally exhausted did Nip finally drift into fitful, troubled sleep, his dreams disturbed by rough waves, flashing lightning, and frost-covered trees.
A Bellossom and a Roserade? I wonder why Nip is curious about that particular matchup.For a second, he locked eyes with the bellossom that ran the stand. But she quickly averted her gaze to her partner, the roserade standing beside her. That pairing was something he had been curious about for a long time, but an explanation would have to wait for another day.
Ah, the villagers are so complacent that they don't foresee a lot of the dangers that Nip does. And they probably haven't had to deal with them like he has!Though he didn't see how that would protect from an attack from above. Something like a staraptor swooping from above would be a real threat.
Ah, we get to meet Tempest!
Chapter 12
Ah, I love this perspective of what Dark types are like to a Psychic type! It's fun to see how different authors all have their own interpretations of what they look like in their stories, and this is really neat!Sure, Muse was here too, but everything about the dark-type’s mind and emotions were an enigma, like a deep, dark void in a vibrant world.
Ah, another glimpse at Shimmer's real feelings! Though I don't believe her bubbliness is TOTALLY a facade, we're definitely witnessing more of her insecurities and worries.Was it a façade? Kind of. But considering how ugly her real feelings were, and how much disrespect she’d receive as a leader for showing that side of herself, she could bottle it up and put on a cheerful look.
Haha, nice little Bidoof bias!and a carefully constructed bidoof plush that she’d had to go to the next town over for.
Interesting they didn't know regional variants were a thing.
I read this as "without Nip's head," at first, which makes me wonder... What sort of "proof" would she want to show?But without proof of Nip’s end, she could not return home.
Ah, really astute! This does raise a lot of questions... I was shocked to see that Tempest was able to sense her in his mind and push her back out. I wonder if psychic presences leave some sort of trace or feeling in someone's mind once they've been there?“That was intentional. Someone, for some reason, wanted him dead. And if he somehow survived, they didn’t want him talking.”
This chapter was a nice continuation from the previous and a good setup for the next. Even though stuff happened (meeting Tempest! Learning a bit more about him!), I felt like it served more to lead in for the chapter coming up, but I never found myself getting bored or antsy was a thing. I like the little insights we get to Umbra's point of view, and I'm itching to know more about what she's up to.
Chapter 13
Geeze, Haru, have a bit of compassion and mercy on Nip for his situation! Poor guy, that must be so brutal.
I don't get why they think that trying to communicate with writing turned out to be a pointless idea. Tempest meant what he wrote down, and Nip explained the meaning to them. It's not what they were accustomed to, but it was still working, so I don't know why she's so upset.Her gaze drifted to the parchment, and the useless marks on it. Stupid! She knew that it was a pointless endeavor, trying to communicate with writing. And yet, she’d wasted her time with it anyways. How could she be so stupid?
Huh, so Tempest says that Nip is all he has left! But Tempest had a mate, didn't he? Shimmer saw her when she dove into Tempest's memories. I wonder what happened to her--I wonder what happened in general! Umbra definitely isn't happy to see him, and with good reason, since it seems like he'll be capable of clearing Nip's name. I can't imagine Jhorlo will be too happy at having Tempest there, either. I wonder if Umbra was the one who tried to kill him, or at least stop him from speaking? If not her, then who's working with her to stop him?
Speaking of Johrlo, I'm personally itching to see more of him! He's been talked about quite a bit, as everyone is waiting for him to assess and make the decisions as to what to do with Nip and Tempest, but he's yet to be seen in quite a bit. Last I remember, he was teaming up with Umbra and planning on eating Nip, so he's more of a dirty hypocrite than anybody else in the village! He not only doesn't follow the rules, but he doesn't even follow the ones that he made and enforces on everyone else! I can only imagine how he's going to react when he sees Tempest has arrived.
There's a lot going on, and while many questions are answered, there's still more! You do a good job of keeping the plot moving forward and giving bits of the story, a little at a time, without dragging it on or feel like things are moving too slowly. In general, I felt like everything moved at a decent pace, which is really nice.
I think my only critique with these chapters would be the interaction we had with Toshi and Haru in Chapter 12. It felt like their conversation quickly turned from the way Haru treated Nip to how she treats her father to blaming Regigigas for their grandfather's death. It's all valid for them to go over, and stuff that's understandable for her to be angry about. But the conversation just felt a bit on-the-nose, not like a natural flow, and it just didn't emotionally hit for me.
But! Aside from that, you've got a very compelling story here. I'll definitely be back for more--and hopefully before next year's Blitz, hehe.