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Pokémon One Hundred Tiny Plays About Hoenn

Play #18: Lavaridge Town New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #18: Lavaridge Town

(Two sisters and their elderly mother bathe in the hot springs)

Kimberley: It’s too early - she’s not ready yet.
Kathy: She’s doing just fine.
Kimberley: The doctors said at least six weeks before we get her out of the house. And you’ve already got her in a boiling hot bath!
Kathy: It’s not that bad.
Kimberley: You could boil an egg in here!
Kathy: Mum, you’re alright, aren’t you? Mum? Mum? Mum? [pause] See? She’s fine.
Kimberley: She’s catatonic.
Kathy: Nonsense.
Kimberley: I think I can actually see her shrivel up like a raisin in real time.
Kathy: The springs have healing powers.
Kimberley: You can’t ‘heal’ dementia, Kath. No matter how hot the water.
Kathy: She’s enjoying herself.
Kimberley: She’s not a pet! Get a hold of yourself.
Kathy: She loves it, look. Look at her splashing about in the water like that. See? [pause] Mum? Nice to be out and about again, isn’t it, mum? [pause] Mum? Mum?
 
Play #19: Pokemon Trainer's School New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #19: Pokemon Trainer's School

(A teacher and a parent sit opposite each other in an office)

Mrs Anderson: We have asked Raul to apologise, of course. [pause] And to write a letter. We encourage all of our students to partake in our policy of restorative justice. [pause] But the school’s official position will be that he will be excluded for a term of at least two weeks. [pause] Do you have provisions set up at home to deliver the set curriculum? We have some online teaching resources we can give you temporary access to so that Raul can keep apace with the other students during his exclusion period. [pause] We are in the middle of a project that explores hands-on care for Bug-type Pokemon so if he had some access to one or two bug creatures at home then that would be helpful. [pause] We could lend you one from our garden if you wished to borrow it for a short period of time. [pause] I’m afraid a member of staff would have to be there to monitor the Pokemon’s wellbeing during the lending period. But we can negotiate that when the time comes. [pause] We are very concerned about Raul not falling behind. That would be a terrible shame. [pause] Perhaps you have some ideas on how we can help to facilitate Raul’s learning experience throughout this period? [pause] We are all quite concerned for him. [pause] We want to be of help, really. [pause] We just want to help.
 
Play #20: Fortree City New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #20: Fortree City

(An estate agent shows a young couple around a house)

Estate agent: All the rooms have a double aspect… Plus all-natural wooden construction.
Finn: It seems pretty environmentally friendly, at least.
Estate agent: Actually, the energy rating on this property is below average for this region. These wooden homes heat up slower than you’d think.
Samantha: Oh.
Estate agent: But look at the view. Unbeatable views over the local treetops.
Finn: Great if you like trees.
Estate agent: We love trees. We really do. They’re so… important.
Samantha: Why are the current owners selling?
Estate agent: I believe they’re upgrading to a proper house in Mauville City.
Finn: Upgrading to a “proper” house?
Estate agent: Sorry, let me have a look. Mmm… [pause] Ah, yes. They’re upsizing, I meant to say. To a bricks and mortar house in the city.
Finn: I see.
Estate agent: And if you don’t like the look of this property, we have plenty more for sale in the local neighbourhood too. Supply is actually quite abundant at the moment.
Samantha: Lots of people selling?
Estate agent: Oh, yes, we can’t keep up! The local residents here are extremely motivated to sell. [pause] But that benefits you, the interested buyers, of course. Think of all that choice. So much to choose from.
Finn: They all look quite similar to me.
Estate agent: Character. That’s what sets these properties apart. Character. You can’t sell that in the big cities, absolutely not. [pause] No, wait, sorry. [pause] You can’t buy that in the big city, is what I meant to say. [pause] You can’t buy character like this in Mauville.
 
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WildBoots

Never underestimate seeds.
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. moka-mark
  2. solrock
  3. breloom
Hi Fennel!

The short and sweet is that I enjoyed these overall! I'm not familiar with the Craig Taylor plays, but I always love a little of the real world seeping into pokemon, and I love seeing something capital-L Literary being translated into pokefic! And Hoenn, no less! I love gen 3, and I also loved getting a refreshing change of pace: my rendition of Hoenn is very American-flavored and very, uh, on fire, so it was a treat to snack my way through these lighthearted and decidedly British morsels.

I'm only sad that the titles seem to imply that we'll only see each location once! Though I suppose there's nothing to stop you from doing "[town] 2" or revisitng characters. There should certainly be enough to occupy you in Hoenn for a while at least.

Some quick play-by-play thoughts:

3, 4, 5 - I sort of wanted one more ending line to take a firm stance or tie things off. Like, is the cacnea dead or not? My heart wants it to be snoring or something at the end, haha. Similarly, in 4 I wanted the nurse to turn to her coworkers after the guy leaves and make some kind of comment to help nudge us toward a firmer conclusion about his shady activities or to show us how common/uncommon that is. Like, "I'm glad I don't pay taxes!" is such a specific type of jerk and it paints an image ... but also in a lot of HCs, it would be valid for the clapback to be, "He knows that no one is taxed for this, right?" And last but not least, in 5 I think it's clear that she's not into Cole, but I'd love a final line either confirming that she is a sleep ... or letting us know that she's pretending very hard to be asleep.

6 - This one stood out to me for not actually being tied to the place it's named for--this could be almost anywhere. The game titles are so delightfully over the top though, and I thought the ending line on this one was perfect. I absolutely want a look at Spinda Spreadsheet Simulator and Team Magma: Dream Wedding Brigade.

7 - This is another one where I thought the best punches came around the middle rather than the end. But the concept is so good. Very Monty Python!

8 - I wonder what rumors fly around about the Rustboro gym! I'd love either some kind of confirmation that these rumors are pure, unrealistic fantasy OR that Rustboro gym trainers also get some kind of crazy benefits they take for granted. (Free cake? IDK, you tell me.)

10 - I like how much of the poochyena's bad behavior has to be imagined.

19 - I feel like I need a little more information for this one to land. Like, is the principal fluttering around trying to fill silence because they're suspending the kid for practically nothing? Or are the parents silently exploding?

I'm not sure if I have one favorite but I did especially enjoy 5,7, 9, 12, 13, 14 & 17.

I'll drop by again when you've got another batch. 🎉
 

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Hey, Wildboots, thank you so much for stopping by!

The short and sweet is that I enjoyed these overall! I'm not familiar with the Craig Taylor plays, but I always love a little of the real world seeping into pokemon, and I love seeing something capital-L Literary being translated into pokefic! And Hoenn, no less! I love gen 3, and I also loved getting a refreshing change of pace: my rendition of Hoenn is very American-flavored and very, uh, on fire, so it was a treat to snack my way through these lighthearted and decidedly British morsels.
Thank you! Big fan of Gen 3 here also, and glad to hear that you managed to find some sustenance in these little snack-sized fic comestibles.

I'm only sad that the titles seem to imply that we'll only see each location once! Though I suppose there's nothing to stop you from doing "[town] 2" or revisitng characters. There should certainly be enough to occupy you in Hoenn for a while at least.
Locations will appear more than once throughout the project! Repeats are necessary since there don't seem to be at least 100 unique locations in Gen 3 Hoenn that I could find (and some I've omitted for being too niche or not interesting enough) so we'll be revisiting some places to make up the numbers. Towns and cities are the ones most likely to crop up more than once, given that they have the broadest scope in terms of potential different stories, characters and types of locales/businesses to set scenes in.

I'm afraid I don't plan on revisiting specific characters though, since the aim is very much to write one hundred absolutely unique plays that are all as distinct from each other as possible, so I'll be trying not to repeat characters, plots or scenarios. We'll see how successful I am in keeping with that as we progress, though!

3, 4, 5 - I sort of wanted one more ending line to take a firm stance or tie things off. Like, is the cacnea dead or not? My heart wants it to be snoring or something at the end, haha. Similarly, in 4 I wanted the nurse to turn to her coworkers after the guy leaves and make some kind of comment to help nudge us toward a firmer conclusion about his shady activities or to show us how common/uncommon that is. Like, "I'm glad I don't pay taxes!" is such a specific type of jerk and it paints an image ... but also in a lot of HCs, it would be valid for the clapback to be, "He knows that no one is taxed for this, right?" And last but not least, in 5 I think it's clear that she's not into Cole, but I'd love a final line either confirming that she is a sleep ... or letting us know that she's pretending very hard to be asleep.
It's very interesting reading these, as a question that's been on my mind throughout this project is "how much information is really necessary to show the reader, and what can I get away with not showing?" My goal with these plays is definitely to write them to be as lean and tight as possible with minimal fluff/fat, so I often do trim them down to their barest components for brevity's sake. With things like Lindsey/Cole, the intention was certainly to imply Lindsey feigning sleep as she stops responding to Cole's conversation prompts entirely and he's left prattling away on his own, unaware that she's now just flat-out ignoring him. I do agree with you on Play #4 though, and I think I could have maybe tweaked that a little to give a fuller picture of what was going on.

These early, early plays do lean a bit more on the shorter side and the ones I'm writing now hopefully feel a bit more fleshed out, but I will keep your comments in mind in future!

6 - This one stood out to me for not actually being tied to the place it's named for--this could be almost anywhere. The game titles are so delightfully over the top though, and I thought the ending line on this one was perfect. I absolutely want a look at Spinda Spreadsheet Simulator and Team Magma: Dream Wedding Brigade.
Glad you liked the game titles; I had a lot of fun coming up with those! The nature of the project means that not all plays will be heavily tied to their location (some towns and cities really are just normal settlements with very few distinguishing features) so yeah, some might be a wee bit more generic than those set in very specialised settings like Contest Halls or Herb Shops.

I am planning on releasing some fun bonus material once the project is finished though, and Team Magma: Dream Wedding Brigade may well be making an appearance then. Watch this space!

7 - This is another one where I thought the best punches came around the middle rather than the end. But the concept is so good. Very Monty Python!
That's quite the compliment, thank you!

8 - I wonder what rumors fly around about the Rustboro gym! I'd love either some kind of confirmation that these rumors are pure, unrealistic fantasy OR that Rustboro gym trainers also get some kind of crazy benefits they take for granted. (Free cake? IDK, you tell me.)
That's very interesting - the rumours weren't meant to be fantastical in nature at all and were supposed to sound more on the mundane side! For reference, I was using the British system of holiday entitlements as a sort of guide, as full-time employees here get at least paid 28 days off a year (with many employers offering more days off as an extra bonus/incentives), so it felt suitably amusing to me that employees at Rustboro would be rhapsodising about other gyms getting 25, 27, etc days of annual leave, which would still be below the legal bare minimum in the UK. "Free pizza" and "pinball machine" also felt like easy shorthands for those sort of employee benefits that seem attractive at face value but are actually ways for upper management to try and appease workers while getting out of paying for employment benefits that actually really matter, such as robust sick pay, good pension contributions or thorough health and wellbeing support. Maybe I need to think a bit harder to ensure those sorts of distinctions are made clear enough so that they're not lost in translation for readers from other parts of the world.

19 - I feel like I need a little more information for this one to land. Like, is the principal fluttering around trying to fill silence because they're suspending the kid for practically nothing? Or are the parents silently exploding?
That's a fair point - maybe I didn't think enough about how clearly the whole scene might be portrayed to a new reader as I had all the component parts so clearly envisioned in my own head. Will keep that in mind for future also.

I'm not sure if I have one favorite but I did especially enjoy 5,7, 9, 12, 13, 14 & 17.

I'll drop by again when you've got another batch. 🎉
Lovely, thank you! Many thanks and gratitude for taking the time to read and comment, and hope you enjoy reading the rest as they come out, too. The next batch of five plays will be released imminently...
 
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WildBoots

Never underestimate seeds.
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. moka-mark
  2. solrock
  3. breloom
Just a few quick follow-ups:
the ones I'm writing now hopefully feel a bit more fleshed
Honestly, it’s not about any of them lacking enough cues to follow. It’s more about wanting them to end decisively. Though I freely admit this might be a lack of exposure to enough dry, British humor on my part. It might help to see them performed, but seeing them on the page my impulse is to handle them like flash fiction.

Team Magma: Dream Wedding Brigade may well be making an appearance then. Watch this space!
Oh my god PLEASE. In addition to writing a Magma/Aqua slowburn, I’ve been joking for years about having a Magma/Aqua-themed wedding, and now that we’re starting to do a little bit of planning … I’ve been reminded that our favorite colors respectively are deep red and blue …. So truly this is a wedding planning resource I need. Only you can save me!!

the rumours weren't meant to be fantastical in nature at all and were supposed to sound more on the mundane side!
Oh my god, crying big fat American tears. I think I get 15 per year, so 25 sounded awesome. Americans generally have no idea how not-great we’re doing over here. :’)

That does indeed complete the picture for this play though!

Cheers! 🍻
 
Play #21: Sootopolis City New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #21: Sootopolis City

(Two women sit in a bar with glasses of wine)

Marina: It’s his job. Bloody long hours.
Eve: My Bernard’s the same. Always squirreling away in his shed with his god-knows what.
Marina: And holidays? Forget it. Last time we went abroad, I could still fit into that violet dress from Sylvia’s anniversary party.
Eve: I’d love an ‘oliday. Maybe that cruise that goes around Sinnoh to see the icebergs… it sounds dead romantic.
Marina: I keep on banging on at him to take me abroad, you know. Like we used to when we got married.
Eve: It’s important to keep the romance going, isn’t it?
Marina: These days it’s all ‘Pokemon’ this and ‘Pokemon’ that. I mean, put a sock in it, Keith. God forbid some of us have other interests too.
Eve: I never liked them. Horrid little toerags.
Marina: He can do what he wants with ‘em. I’m not getting involved, thank you very much.
Eve: How’s the online business going?
Marina: Oh, now I’m glad you asked me that, Eve. It’s all been taking off, you see. See, that’s what he doesn’t realise. I’m making something good of myself, I am. I sold my entire stock of organic seaweed soap to Anne down the road yesterday. You know her husband runs that shelter for down and outs?
Eve: Oh, that place.
Marina: My Keith could quit his job if things carry on for me like this. But does he listen? Does he ‘eck.
Eve: They never listen.
Marina: I’m the real breadwinner of the household, I am. I don’t care. He can do whatever he likes.
 
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Play #22: Mauville City Pokemart New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #22: Mauville City Pokemart

(Two teenage employees stack shelves on the shop floor)

Carmel: How about him? Guy in the grey suit.
Jed: A bit old.
Carmel: Or the guy standing next to him, then. D’you reckon they’re together?
Jed: I dunno.
Carmel: He totally looks like your type. He’s all boyish and twinky. Is that the right word? Twink?
Jed: He’s not my type.
Carmel: Imagine if you and him went out on a date together. Sharing a milkshake together but like, using two straws. That would be soooo cute.
Jed: Could you pass me those Pokeball boxes?
Carmel: And you’d move in together and have a little Poochyena together instead of a kid. Pooch Dads! Oh my god. I think I’d literally die from cuteness overload.
Jed: I’m really more of a Skitty person.
Carmel: This is so amazing. I love this. I’ve never had a gay best friend before.
Jed: I’m not even sure if that’s what I am yet.
Carmel: [sigh] I’m so jealous. I want your life. I wish I was gay and cute like you. Can you imagine? I literally can’t even.
 
Play #23: Ever Grande City New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #23: Ever Grande City

(An older tourist couple stand outside the Pokemon League building)

Carol: Could there be some sort of mistake?
Shaun: Can’t be. The bloke that sold me this guide told me it was the best that money can buy.
Carol: But there’s nothing here, Shaun.
Shaun: Maybe we’re in the wrong place?
Carol: That’s the Pokemon League, isn’t it?
Shaun: I think so. It does seem to bear some resemblance to the picture in the guide.
Carol: Then this must be it. Ever Grande City. [pause] It’s not much of a city, is it?
Shaun: I suppose not.
Carol: What did the guide say again?
Shaun: Let me have a look. Ahmm… [pause] “A bustling, glittering metropolis, the City is known for its classical architecture; myriad shops, cafes and boutiques; and most impressively of all, the imposing Prism Tower, serving as an iconic beacon for the City and all of the surrounding region.”
Carol: [pause] Well I don’t see any sort of tower here, do you?
Shaun: Maybe the guide is mistaken after all.
Carol: I daresay, Shaun. Because it also says here that Snowpoint City is a fifteen minute’s walk away from where we are now.
Shaun: So?
Carol: That’s in Sinnoh, Shaun.
Shaun: Who would want to go there anyway, my dear? I rather think it would be a fruitless venture. In fact…
Carol: Shaun.
Shaun: I’d say there’s really “snow point” in going. [pause] Geddit, darling? There’s “snow point”!
Carol: Oh dear.
Shaun: Ohohohaha! Haha! Oh, dearie me.
Carol: [pause] I think I’m rather done with travelling for today, Shaun.
Shaun: Right-o, my dear. [pause] Fancy a sit-down and a cup of tea?
Carol: Yes please. Shall we have a look inside?
Shaun: I think we should. They’re bound to have a tearoom in there, aren’t they?
Carol: I should certainly hope so. What sort of Pokemon League would they be if they don’t even offer tea? [pause] Maybe that’s what your guide should be focusing on instead, Shaun. Where to find a good cup of tea on holiday.
 
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Play #24: S.S. Tidal New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #24: S.S. Tidal

(A customer peruses the ship’s gift shop)

Tucker: Excuse me.
Shop Assistant: Yeah?
Tucker: Do you think this would be suitable for a five year-old girl?
Shop Assistant: [pause] Why?
Tucker: Oh. Sorry. No, it’s for my daughter. She’s turning five.
Shop Assistant: Oh. I dunno. Does she like Wailmer?
Tucker: I’m not really sure. Children do, don’t they?
Shop Assistant: Some of them, yeah.
Tucker: They seem very popular these days.
Shop Assistant: Why don’t you ask your daughter?
Tucker: I can’t at the moment. She’s staying with her mother. [pause] What about this one?
Shop Assistant: That’s a board game. It says for children eleven and up.
Tucker: Oh. Maybe when she’s a bit older, then. [pause] Maybe a pencil? Children like drawing, right?
Shop Assistant: Just one pencil?
Tucker: Oh. I see. [pause] A pencil set, maybe. [pause] Do you sell pencil sets?
Shop Assistant: No.
Tucker: Ah. [pause] That’s a problem, then. [pause] Maybe this? What is it? ‘Glow-in-the-dark Castform doll’. That sounds entertaining.
Shop Assistant: Yeah, kids like that one.
Tucker: Do they? Good. I’ll take that then. [pause] Actually. [pause] Throw in that board game too. And the Wailmer, too. Why not.
Shop Assistant: Alright. [pause] D’you want the pencil too?
Tucker: Umm. [pause] No, better not. Just these, please. [pause] Don’t want to go overboard with it.
 
Play #25: Mossdeep Space Centre New

Fennel

In the garden
Pronouns
He/him
Play #25: Mossdeep Space Centre

(Two scientists sit in an office beneath a large telescope after dark)

Nigel: Celestial object B8044-C. 9.8 degrees south, south-western sky.
Hans: Confirmed.
Nigel: Celestial object B8053-E. 10.3 degrees south, south-western sky.
Hans: Confirmed.
Nigel: Celestial object B8056-E. No sighting in south-western sky.
Hans: Confirmed. [pause] Hey, Nigel. [pause] Nige.
Nigel: What now, Hans?
Hans: I’m sorry again about earlier.
Nigel: You don’t have to keep bringing it up, Hans.
Hans: I’m sorry, though. I’m kicking myself for being so stupid.
Nigel: I already said it’s fine.
Hans: I shouldn’t have said anything.
Nigel: Hans, please. You can stop.
Hans: I really hope this won’t affect our friendship. Because you know I like you a lot. As a friend.
Nigel: I know.
Hans: You’re not uncomfortable, are you? You can tell me if you are. That’s fine. [pause] I’d be uncomfortable too. If someone sprang that on me, I mean. But you feel like you want to say something at the end of the day. Because it hurts to hold it inside you. [pause] And tonight’s just one of those things. I mean, it’s just the two of us here, it’s a nice night. I thought to myself, why not risk it for a biscuit, right? Maybe I shouldn’t have said it at the start of such a long shift though. God. Typical Hans, right?
Nigel: Unconfirmed sighting, 10.6 degrees south, south-western sky. Hans, write this down.
Hans: What? [pause] Say that again.
Nigel: Unconfirmed sighting, 10.6 degrees south, south-western sky.
Hans: I’ve written it down.
Nigel: That shouldn’t be there.
Hans: [pause] Anyway, I thought you might want someone who can understand and listen. Given that you and Susie have been going through a rough patch and all. I mean, I get it. It’s tough. [pause] Not that I’d ever take advantage, obviously.
Nigel: Oh my god. It looks like it’s heading right for us. That can’t be right.
Hans: What? Let me see. [pause] What? Oh… [pause] Bugger. Bugger.
Nigel: Call Miranda. Now.
Hans: Okay.
Nigel: I’m getting life signs. [pause] A pulse, too. and psychic energy.
Hans: Same here. Sensors are flaring up.
Nigel: [pause] Could it be some kind of Pokemon?
Hans: In that environment? Impossible.
Nigel: My readings suggest otherwise.
Hans: Yeah… same here.
Nigel: My god. This might be serious.
Hans: I know. My heart’s pounding.
Nigel: [pause] Mine too.
[pause]
Hans: Hey, Nige?
Nigel: Yes, Hans?
Hans: [pause] I’m really glad I’m here with you tonight.
[pause]
Nigel: Just call Miranda, Hans. Now, please.
 
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