Pokémon One Hundred Tiny Plays About Hoenn

[Fennel]

Play #18: Lavaridge Town

(Two sisters and their elderly mother bathe in the hot springs)

Kimberley: It’s too early - she’s not ready yet.
Kathy: She’s doing just fine.
Kimberley: The doctors said at least six weeks before we get her out of the house. And you’ve already got her in a boiling hot bath!
Kathy: It’s not that bad.
Kimberley: You could boil an egg in here!
Kathy: Mum, you’re alright, aren’t you? Mum? Mum? Mum? [pause] See? She’s fine.
Kimberley: She’s catatonic.
Kathy: Nonsense.
Kimberley: I think I can actually see her shrivel up like a raisin in real time.
Kathy: The springs have healing powers.
Kimberley: You can’t ‘heal’ dementia, Kath. No matter how hot the water.
Kathy: She’s enjoying herself.
Kimberley: She’s not a pet! Get a hold of yourself.
Kathy: She loves it, look. Look at her splashing about in the water like that. See? [pause] Mum? Nice to be out and about again, isn’t it, mum? [pause] Mum? Mum?

 

[Fennel]

Play #19: Pokemon Trainer's School

(A teacher and a parent sit opposite each other in an office)

Mrs Anderson: We have asked Raul to apologise, of course. [pause] And to write a letter. We encourage all of our students to partake in our policy of restorative justice. [pause] But the school’s official position will be that he will be excluded for a term of at least two weeks. [pause] Do you have provisions set up at home to deliver the set curriculum? We have some online teaching resources we can give you temporary access to so that Raul can keep apace with the other students during his exclusion period. [pause] We are in the middle of a project that explores hands-on care for Bug-type Pokemon so if he had some access to one or two bug creatures at home then that would be helpful. [pause] We could lend you one from our garden if you wished to borrow it for a short period of time. [pause] I’m afraid a member of staff would have to be there to monitor the Pokemon’s wellbeing during the lending period. But we can negotiate that when the time comes. [pause] We are very concerned about Raul not falling behind. That would be a terrible shame. [pause] Perhaps you have some ideas on how we can help to facilitate Raul’s learning experience throughout this period? [pause] We are all quite concerned for him. [pause] We want to be of help, really. [pause] We just want to help.

 

[Fennel]

Play #20: Fortree City

(An estate agent shows a young couple around a house)

Estate agent: All the rooms have a double aspect… Plus all-natural wooden construction.
Finn: It seems pretty environmentally friendly, at least.
Estate agent: Actually, the energy rating on this property is below average for this region. These wooden homes heat up slower than you’d think.
Samantha: Oh.
Estate agent: But look at the view. Unbeatable views over the local treetops.
Finn: Great if you like trees.
Estate agent: We love trees. We really do. They’re so… important.
Samantha: Why are the current owners selling?
Estate agent: I believe they’re upgrading to a proper house in Mauville City.
Finn: Upgrading to a “proper” house?
Estate agent: Sorry, let me have a look. Mmm… [pause] Ah, yes. They’re upsizing, I meant to say. To a bricks and mortar house in the city.
Finn: I see.
Estate agent: And if you don’t like the look of this property, we have plenty more for sale in the local neighbourhood too. Supply is actually quite abundant at the moment.
Samantha: Lots of people selling?
Estate agent: Oh, yes, we can’t keep up! The local residents here are extremely motivated to sell. [pause] But that benefits you, the interested buyers, of course. Think of all that choice. So much to choose from.
Finn: They all look quite similar to me.
Estate agent: Character. That’s what sets these properties apart. Character. You can’t sell that in the big cities, absolutely not. [pause] No, wait, sorry. [pause] You can’t buy that in the big city, is what I meant to say. [pause] You can’t buy character like this in Mauville.

 

[WildBoots]

Hi Fennel!

The short and sweet is that I enjoyed these overall! I'm not familiar with the Craig Taylor plays, but I always love a little of the real world seeping into pokemon, and I love seeing something capital-L Literary being translated into pokefic! And Hoenn, no less! I love gen 3, and I also loved getting a refreshing change of pace: my rendition of Hoenn is very American-flavored and very, uh, on fire, so it was a treat to snack my way through these lighthearted and decidedly British morsels.

I'm only sad that the titles seem to imply that we'll only see each location once! Though I suppose there's nothing to stop you from doing "[town] 2" or revisitng characters. There should certainly be enough to occupy you in Hoenn for a while at least.

Some quick play-by-play thoughts:

3, 4, 5 - I sort of wanted one more ending line to take a firm stance or tie things off. Like, is the cacnea dead or not? My heart wants it to be snoring or something at the end, haha. Similarly, in 4 I wanted the nurse to turn to her coworkers after the guy leaves and make some kind of comment to help nudge us toward a firmer conclusion about his shady activities or to show us how common/uncommon that is. Like, "I'm glad I don't pay taxes!" is such a specific type of jerk and it paints an image ... but also in a lot of HCs, it would be valid for the clapback to be, "He knows that no one is taxed for this, right?" And last but not least, in 5 I think it's clear that she's not into Cole, but I'd love a final line either confirming that she is a sleep ... or letting us know that she's pretending very hard to be asleep.

6 - This one stood out to me for not actually being tied to the place it's named for--this could be almost anywhere. The game titles are so delightfully over the top though, and I thought the ending line on this one was perfect. I absolutely want a look at Spinda Spreadsheet Simulator and Team Magma: Dream Wedding Brigade.

7 - This is another one where I thought the best punches came around the middle rather than the end. But the concept is so good. Very Monty Python!

8 - I wonder what rumors fly around about the Rustboro gym! I'd love either some kind of confirmation that these rumors are pure, unrealistic fantasy OR that Rustboro gym trainers also get some kind of crazy benefits they take for granted. (Free cake? IDK, you tell me.)

10 - I like how much of the poochyena's bad behavior has to be imagined.

19 - I feel like I need a little more information for this one to land. Like, is the principal fluttering around trying to fill silence because they're suspending the kid for practically nothing? Or are the parents silently exploding?

I'm not sure if I have one favorite but I did especially enjoy 5,7, 9, 12, 13, 14 & 17.

I'll drop by again when you've got another batch. 🎉