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Could’ve fooled me with all those Outlaws I drug in for cold, hard Poké in my game runs. Even if it applies here. :V
This review is part of a review cycle so that I can keep enough silverware sane that I can still eat cake. As such, Lyle has been CHOSEN!!!! To be pulled out of his little post-Outlaw comfort life and back into the demands of screentime. He's going to be *so* glad for screentime once this chapter is over, lol.
So yeah, we start with a blurb telling us that this world is not having a nice time. For starters, the blurb is in another language but comes with a translation in the glossary. For seconds, it talks about an apocalypse that rendered what was a Trainerworld into basically a post-apoc post-human Terranstyle!PMD world.
Which means there was a good </sarcasm> transition time for anyone who made it past the initial post-apoc whole. Yay everyone who made it through!
I'm gonna say that while I can't read German, what I tried to read felt like it had a tonal and narrative form like tales of an expedition that survived a shipwreck or returned from a salted/scorched land, whereas the translated version feels more like a narration of events behind the trenches or from a facility or community hosting people looking for asylum. I don't know yet if either are intended, but they do paint a mental imagery of those Pokémon who survived the apoc and what vision of the world they had.
It’s deliberately intended to be one of those “glimpse from another perspective” things, yes. “German” in this setting is a cultural carryover from the world-that-was for Varhyde, and as such the openers are used to show things off from perspectives that aren’t necessarily our protagonists' and to hint at things to come for particularly observant readers.
This kind of catastrophe is becoming a staple of your 'verses, @SpitefulMurkrow . I mean, the Cradle's world basically went through the same, yes? Just saying :p
But yeah, I hope for the next setting they keep a better rein on those Fairy types and others mixing and mashing magical spells just to see what comes out. You don't really want to be known as the one who "Wingardium LeviOSÁH!"'d (or, in your better words, "oopsie'd") an entire race off the world, *and* made Waze and OpenStreetmap mappers' lives a living nightmare.
Technically, the Cradle’s world went through something a bit different than Wander’s, even if both met their end through unintended consequences of some flavor. o<o;
As for the Great Flash, those similarities weren’t really planned on the story’s part, and it was more part and parcel with the fundamental meta premise behind it. If you know of said meta, you probably can get some ideas of what the Great Flash roughly entailed within the span of a few chapters from where you are.
He's a Quilava which automatically makes him cute and cool like all the Gen2 starters inb4 Chikorita. It's good to see some G2 representation. He's living in a potentially awesome world too. But hey he still has to earn the coins, I take it he's working basically as a seasonal gatherer and, given it's about to be the end of harvest season, he's not being happy about it.
I mean, field work even in the best of times is kinda a tiring and thankless profession, so…
Ooooooooor, you could just windshield them with a cover, and keep one or two NPCs close to water them and fertilize the soil for the next 48 hours, right? Right? I mean, berry farming in the games was easy, right? </sarcasm>
Thankfully I know diddly of post-Lucas Star Wars, so I can safely say that any resemblances are a big coinkydink. ^^;
Fck off, Trent. You have our little protag in the one state of things that's actually WORSE than the modern gig economy. Lyle is a poor little precariat, and a seasonal one at that!
And when the world's a sorry state of things as that, the best thing to do after hours is rise and revolt against the capitalist masters hit the local tavern. Or whatever passes for that. Once there (or what counts as "there"), Lyle hears some news about the sorry state of the war effort.
Well, there’s also those captured in action and MIA for various reasons that may or may not get said ‘mons in trouble, but otherwise that’s not far from the mark.
Like, seriously, why else there would be *more* drafting? That's what happens in wars to those not smart enough to avoid being assigned as literal cannon fodder. And Pokémon wars have lots more potential for going nasty, elemental powers and all.
Just sayin'. If I was any of those NPCs I'd high-tail out of there before the next draft comes. Let's see if Lyle picks up the hint.
Pick up the hints, Lyle! Listen, I have a very good spot here in the Suocéverse for a Quilava protag. You can be a Traffic police officer, how about that?
Well, hey. He does wind up taking your advice… in a manner of speaking.
No no no no. YOUR problem is to pocket yourself a train ticket outta there. Come on! Farming berries every day like it's Animal Crossing: New Leaf is not exactly going to get you anywhere. Even tho it's a good start that you should have been doing like, two backstory arcs ago.
Speaking of pocketing something, let's see if Lyle can pocket enough money for his work.
Such is life when your land’s economy is hobbling along with the residual effects of an on-and-off war that’s ground on for generations. Like even if your neighborhood isn’t actively being torn up, wars aren’t cheap resource-wise.
Yeah that was more or less what I was suggesting back there. Just do the berry farming on your own, glitch the game clock a bit, sell the results for brief enough that you can just walk off your way out of there.
I'm gonna say tho, those crabs and cats are sounding just about as detached from reality as any economist I've seen mouthing off about how great capitalism is for climate change and interregional wars since 2018, because really you have to guesstimate that at least half of everyone who is still alive complains of the same issues here at temporary precariatship as Lyle does.
I’ll admit, some of this is meta cheating to have characters that can be active criminals that have a leg up at raking in the audience sympathy, but… yeah. Outlawry in general tends to thrive best in unsettled circumstances, and the local neighborhood was designed accordingly.
From what we heard of the place, it sounds like they should be paying people to drink their stuff, instead.
Yeah, life outside of the numbered Routes sucks sometimes. At least this time Lyle's got it easy, he's got an elemental advantage and one of the attackers attached himself to him. One flame later, the two are scurrying away.
So basically we're reminded that besides the war effort going on and its drain on the populace, this also means they lose resources they could have used to control an important culture clash phenomenon that can reasonably end with civilized peoplemons becoming lunch.
Fortunately, things aren’t so dire for them on that front. Right now, anyways. I wouldn’t exactly rule out a loss of control of that phenomenon under certain circumstances, given that that’s not exactly foreign for human wars in history.
Oh so now he also has his own personal "Protection" end-air-quotes Racket parole officer! Another part of the dirty business that comes with war efforts, truly, is assigning guards to keep backyard towns happy compliant, yet let them do as they please. In this case we have Nils who also knows enough of the past that Lyle tries to keep hidden, to boot.
Protection racket or not, Lyle does have a point that he can't really afford to fight it, not so close to the end of the season while he still has a job (even if it pays bad). So let's hope Nils is reasonable here when it comes to this, assuming it's even true he's not shook Oulen from her money already.
As a result of the meeting Lyle has to carry on with a whole third of his earnings of the day taken from him.
You know what I'm going to relaunch the idea of just do some berry farm glitching of his own, because last time my monthly payment got cut off by one third, I joined the revolt that ended us here with *almost* getting a New Constitution.
It admittedly is something that I’m still playing around with openings of when I can bring it up, but there’s actually a reason why the locals haven’t gone torches and pitchforks here. Let’s just say that the last time that happened, things didn’t go as planned.
Some interesting worldbuilding hints here. One thing that you have pressed on for worldbuilding discussions is to pay attention to / not ignore the costs in livelihood that come with having a more evolved body, so it starts to show here as early as Ch.1 which is good (just not for Lyle).
But also, does this imply that in this setting Pokémon don't have control over their own evolutive triggers, at least for the ones that are "by level"? I mean, it should be as easy as tapping B when the time comes up, right? In particular if your body *knows* already that it doesn't actually have access to the caloric energy intake to sustain a more evolved form, one would think the body would actively preempt evolution attempts.
Yeah, this story makes the assumption that such controls over evolution are not consistently triggerable. After all, if your body is already primed to evolve, you’ll always be one more heated bar fight or attempted robbery where your guard is down away from getting stuck in a new body.
Well, if you don’t have an Everstone anyways, but it’s not like Lyle’s going to be able to afford one of those when he’s struggling to square away the base levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Oooooor not. Really, Lyle can't walk ONE "city block" of distance without his life getting extra suck? Makes one wonder what his offscreen days of life go like.
And lo and behold, here we have an attacker Sneasel. A f(r)iendishly one, even.
Geez, I knew the economy in your settings was going bad but like, THIS bad?????? Absolutely no one is safe.
Anyway, this Sneasel, 'Kate', was part of the same eeeerrrr, enterpreneur collective as Lyle back then and now seems to have also wanted to target Lyle specifically. Let's admit, it seems Lyle is quite the wantable character or everyone is just fighting for screentime payments so yeah I'm gonna take it.
It seems however, that at least 'Kate''s initial offering might be more worth it for Lyle considering his current situation.
I mean, her offering doesn’t involve Lyle losing more money out of pocket, so…
So Kate wants to recruit Lyle for a "like the old times" kind of job. Because those always go nicely and without issues. Lyle stands his ground like it seems he's had to do already for a few times, sure these ex-Foehn people are persistent.
Kate: “Hey, when you’ve got a skill, you might as well use it.”
Alvin, boys! Not Dalvin, Alvin!
So, 'Kate' describes the general job offer. Her crew and Dalvin's Alvin's are re-teaming up into a sort of Foehn 2: Electric Boogaloo job which consists of taking on a caravan coming up. Interestingly enough, they are teaming up under new management together as we hear of a new, female boss. And apparently Lyle's resume sells well enough that they'd come try and recruit him also explaining the plan out in the open.
Yeah, let’s just say that if Lyle got stuck on the Iron Fleet from my other story, he’d shoot up the ranks pretty quickly. He wasn’t exactly designed to be a helpless incompetent at his old day job.
You know, Kate is making that proposal sound quite alluring. If anything, it's loot that well hidden will remain safe from Nils.
Considering his situation, it's even worse than that, because if he can't secure his well-being soon enough there will be nothing he can do to protect himself from the... what, ninth draft of Losers that's coming up?
Compared to that, if he can at least gauge that the Foehn 2 Electric Boogaloo group at least know what they are doing, Lyle might be looking at some form of economical safety within the next, what, 24 hours? And shawarma screentime after.
All in all, a pretty good intro. A world that in the lines and between the lines is dying the "stop the Earth I want to jump off" kind of death, from what we can see at the local scope. What basically counts as an eternal war that has already killed gods is... not exactly the scenario you want to find yourself having to commit responsibility to.
Add to that the anus end of the capitalism trends, Lyle's already existing resume and, well, there's not much he can do other than being dragged around by whatever plot finds him at the moment.
So it's important that the first chapter ends with him at least executing some agency here. With any luck, who knows? He might find himself out of the whole war situation and living a happily ever after life. AAAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ahem. Yeah, he's so gonna die out there. The summary and the blurbs already promise a lot, lol.
Lyle: “H-Hey! I’ve got some hope! Possibly… Maybe… I hope.” >.<
In general a good job. Also good to see yet another setting of yours in action. Do try and be a bit nicer to your population tho. I can't really imagine Lyle taking it in good stride once he finds out the role and kind of story Neela was offered.
Which is a pretty funny and apt title for the entire story thus far.
Talk about a literal crash course of running into basically everyone the team had pissed off up to this point in the story. Because that's exactly what happened. I don't personally care much for the Team Pathfinder skirmish because it's another brawl with a group straight of the heels of one in the previous part. I'm also surprised at how strong the bystander effect is here. Yeah, someone eventually gets the sheriff involved, but considering these are magic creatures, you'd think some others might try to intervene. XD
I mean, the locals do start getting involved once property damage gets into play. Though yeah, bystander effect can get depressingly strong even in real life, so in a setting where fights with elemental powers are “but for me, it was Tuesday” coupled with just about everyone having their own problems weighing them down, most locals aren’t going to pay that much attention to a seeming dispute on an Exploration Team that for all they know was caused by someone drinking away the team’s last payday.
I enjoyed the scramble away from the angry mob a bit more, mainly because it was a good mix of tension with little bits of humor that don't detract from the action taking place and are a nice break from the typical "Combatant tries to boast or make a comment, then gets interrupted by an attack" fold you've done before.
I mean, I do make a point of trying to keep things fresh for my battle scenarios. Mind you, I don’t always succeed, but it certainly sounds like this sequence did the trick quite well.
Also thought the brief aerial battle was a nice change of pace, too, with the team having to balance hanging on for dear life with fending off attackers. They don't entirely succeed, of course, but that's to be expected with these types of things. :P
Ditto here, really. It actually took a couple revisions for me to get the flow of events into a state where I felt satisfied with things such that Team Forager weren’t just passive observers to their fate. I think that in the end, things turned out well for it.
Really? Doesn't even have the guts to go with the "Reshiram's Crotch Fuzz?"
Also, Hermes just dropped an entire flask full of drugs in front of the fuzz while they were in a bad mood. Right when a rumored levy is about to go out and ‘mons in the clink for even petty reasons would be on the shortlist for getting drafted.
I’ll try and think of a way to try and make that a bit more obvious with an added sentence or two.
Yeah, during a revisioning of the aerial pursuit sequence, I looked back at Corvisquire’s game data to see if there were any particularly neat party tricks Sophia could do. The moment I saw the Sword dex entry, I instantly went “yup, I’m doing this onscreen”.
Hello, I’m here for catnip, and I just wanted to start off by saying that I did like this initial chapter quite a bit for introducing who I assume is the protagonist of the story and the world that they inhabit. It’s not every day that I get to read a PMD story that very much puts war, civil conflicts, and likely politics at the forefront of it all, and I think there’s plenty of ground to be explored there (not to mention outlaws as the protagonists, which is cool) And as for this initial chapter, there’s a lot of exploration on that front alone, which I think is good and at points not so good.
Technically, it’s less “forefront” as “unavoidable piece of backdrop that colors literally everything about the setting and how the characters attempt to get by”, but I’m glad to hear that the general premise caught your eye.
But first, I do like what you’ve introduced so far, especially Lyle within the context of the world you’ve developed. I think he comes across very well as a character marred and painted by his environment and experiences, all supplemented by the way the world works right now. His tiredness, desperation, and teetering on extremes is something I especially like in this first chapter, because it defines him a lot as someone who’s at their limit, which leads well into him accepting Kate’s offer at the end coming across as a believable decision. The chapter does well in introducing him, which is a definite point in your favor for me, because I’m a character focused reader and writer, so the story’s captured me alone on it.
I mean, I’ve always counted characterization as being one of my stronger suits as a writer. I mean, some of that might be a bit overly-rosy of a read of my part, but it sounds like I did my job with what this Prologue chapter was intended to do.
I also think you do well in prose and description (though I admit a decent number of words flew over my head, which is my fault for not being well versed). Environments and physical descriptions are vivid, and I felt them pretty well, and the prose through Lyle’s tired eyes is palpable; there’s a sense of seeing everything through spent eyes. Where it falls a bit for me (and this is probably just a me thing so you’re likely fine) is that there’s a bit too much frequent exposition about the world and the situation the characters live in. I do appreciate what we do get, because it’s intriguing and I’m excited to learn more about it, but at times it felt like it was too much emphasis on the situation of the world, where Lyle frequently pauses to think about a certain topic. I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world, but I found myself towards the end just wanting more of the characters talking or doing things rather than exposition or thinking that certain parts of the exposition could be saved a bit later for a more natural delivery.
I know I’m being a bit vague, and this might just be my preferred way of story telling and such not aligning with yours, so feel free to disregard me as well. Hell, one of the parts that I felt we spent too much time in exposition (namely the frequent mentions of the levy and how everyone wants to avoid it) was used later on as a way to gatekeep one of the easier solutions to Lyle’s food problems, where by doing so makes him more likely to get shipped off in the levy, and thus adds to his desperation to find a way out and survive, or plain give up and let what happens simply happen to him. So, it has a purpose and it’s used well. I may just be talking out of my ass here, but I felt it was worth mentioning.
Yeah, I cop a bit of criticism about the Prologue being a tad slow and exposition-heavy. I’d like to think that the later chapters are a bit better about that, though glad to hear that even if it wasn’t all to your liking, that it didn’t take you out of things too much.
Regardless, I think you have a solid start to the story here, and I know things will only ramp up since only half the characters in the banner appear, so the story is bound to get more interesting. Characters, prose, environments, and plenty else land really well to get me hooked in wanting to know more and subsequently read more. I can’t really tell what direction it’ll take or what themes will permeate the story aside from civil conflicts and survival, but this is just the first chapter. I can almost guarantee that you’ve got a lot more special stuff down the road, and that’s plenty exciting. In essence, though I think there’s a bit too much emphasis on some of the exposition, I think this story starts off really intriguing and I can’t wait to read more when I have the time. With Lyle alone you caught me, because he’s a cool character so far and so early, and I can’t wait to see how he develops (and what other characters appear too.)
Well, I suppose that’s a reason for you to come back and find out a bit more, eh? And maybe to whap me over the head a few times if my inner expositioner gets too firm of a grasp on my keyboard. :V
So, yeah, really good start, and I’m glad I was able to read this. I’m a bit wordy and not used to reviewing a ton, so this may have not been a thorough review. If so, feel free to ask questions or simply talk about the story and my points more through dms or wherever you can catch me. I’d be glad to learn more about the story myself, so I think the healthy dialogue could be nice.
I mean, you gave me your honest thoughts about what you thought worked and didn’t work about the chapter. I’d say that’s already a pretty decent review right there.
Though hey, the best way to learn about a story is to see more of it. If and when you feel an urge to come back and say a few more things, I’ll be all ears.
Great work, and goodbye! I wish nothing but good things for you and this story!
Alright, so this took a bit longer than I’d have hoped to get together due to my production pipeline hitting a snag, but in the end, I figured that I was best off just taking a bit of a leap of faith on this chapter and ironing out any bumps afterwards. So with that, I’m ready to pick up where I left off last time, as Team Forager finds themselves prowling through the strange confines of a lost world.
Unsere Welt ist eine, die auch Jahrhunderte nach der Abwesenheit der Menschen noch immer von deren hinterlassenen Spuren geprägt ist. Ihre erhaltenen Werke sind überall auf der Oberfläche von Wunder und damit auch seine Mysteriöse Orte verstreut. Unter ihnen ist der Großurwald einzigartig unter seinen Gegenstücke im Land der Wahrheit.
Während die meisten mysteriösen Orte, die menschliche Ruinen absorbiert haben, Teile vergangener Gebäude und Strukturen zwischen ihren Böden produzieren können, sollen die Wildes, die in und unter den wärmenden Effekten dieses Ortes wohnen, zuerst durch menschliches Eingreifen in diese Ruinen gebracht worden sein. Einige sagen, dass die Ruinen dort, die von der Verzerrung verschlungen wurden, ein Ort waren, an dem die Vorfahren derer, die heute dort leben, aus den Gräbern zurückgebracht wurden.
Was auch immer die Wahrheit hinter solchen Geschichten ist, ein Entdecker in den Großurwald muss große Vorsicht walten lassen. Es ist ein Ort mit Geschichten aus sagenumwobenen Zeitaltern, die behaupten, dass die Vorfahren der Pokémon, die derzeit dort leben, Armeen verkrüppelt haben, die versuchten, ihn zu durchqueren. Nachdem man die Wildes gesehen hat, die diesen Dschungel ihr Zuhause nennt, könnte man sich verzeihen, wenn man solche Geschichten für bare Münze nimmt. Die Pokémon dieses Ortes sind uralte Kreaturen, die stark und mit wilden Veranlagungen zu gewaltigen Höhen wachsen, besonders wenn ihre inneren Rhythmen aus dem Gleichgewicht geraten.
Wenn die Menschen, die diesen Ort geschaffen haben, solche Kreaturen wirklich zum Leben erweckt haben, kann man sich nur vorstellen, dass sie, was auch immer ihre Beweggründe in der Vergangenheit waren, verstummen würden, nachdem sie das Labyrinth aus Gefahren und Schrecken gesehen haben, zu dem es geworden ist.
- Auszug aus »Das Erkunderhandbuch zu Merkwürdigen Orten«
Step by step, Team Forager carefully crept their way through the fog-shrouded cave passage from the jungle-shrouded bluff they entered. Lyle stayed at the group's head, attempting to give off what little light he could by venting fire from his body as he latched firmly onto Kate's guiding string in his paws. As he and his teammates made their way forward, Lyle noticed that the mist began to turn a visible white, a sign of light filtering in from up ahead. The stoat made his way forward, giving a tug at the team's guiding string as he stepped forward, the mist melting away to reveal an overgrown forest much like the one near the top of the falls that they'd fled from.
The Quilava stopped, waiting for his teammates to catch up with him as he noticed that the air was hot and somehow even more uncomfortably damp than it had been back on the plateau. When the rest of Team Forager came in, they looked up and noticed a spindly lattice of impossibly large branches overhead, interlinking with each other much like a strands of a Spinarak's web. Lyle couldn't say he'd ever seen a lattice of branches like that on the surface world before, and from the way the others were blinking and staring up blankly, he supposed none of his teammates had either.
"Where are we?" Irune murmured.
"Well, a Mystery Dungeon, obviously," Kate scoffed. "I can't remember the last normal place that had tree branches all tangled up in a web like that."
Lyle looked over to Dalton, who seemed visibly tense and on-edge for a moment. Had he been here before? From the way he was reacting, it almost seemed as if he recognized the place.
"Did you come here once with the Riparian Raiders?" the Quilava asked.
"No," the Heliolisk replied, as he started reaching for his satchel. "It's just… I think we should take a moment to get our bearings and figure out what Mystery Dungeon we're in. We didn't get a sighting of the Lesser Mist before Hermes crashed, so it'd likely help us narrow things down a bit."
The 'Lesser Mist'? The arc of Mystery Dungeons further west of Newangle City that served as its shield from the western coast? Lyle wouldn't have thought they'd have seen it from such a distance, but if he could see Raptor Rock from Hermes' back…
"Scales, it can wait until after we've put a few floors between us and this entrance," Kate huffed. "For all we know, those Grünhäuter found our ledge and are already starting to make their way in!"
Dalton paused, with his hands halfway through pulling out that handbook about Mystery Dungeons they'd lifted off those Team Pathfinder Hunters. From the way he reflexively peeked back at the entrance, the Sneasel's remark must've unnerved him.
But at the same time Lyle couldn't really argue with her point. He shook his head, before turning deeper into the jungle maze. The ledge they entered from hadn't been that well-disguised.
"She's right. Try to figure out where we are during some slower moments, but it's not safe to just be waiting here like this."
Dalton studied his surroundings carefully, before pushing the team's handbook back into his satchel and shaking his head with a sigh.
"Alright, just… stay on your guard as you go ahead," he insisted. "I can't place it, but something about this Mystery Dungeon makes me feel like I've heard about it before."
Everyone nodded back afterwards, before pressing on ahead into the gouges in the undergrowth. All the while, Lyle kept his fire burning strong and his ears pricked at attention. Maybe it was just the humidity getting to him, but something about this place made him feel like he was being watched.
This should've been a satisfying moment for Lacan. His sense that his soldiers would struggle to find the Dyad in time before she fled Moonturn Square had been on the mark, as had his instincts about the route her Carrier would take. The interception had gone smoothly enough, and from the chatter through his badge, he'd learned that said Carrier had been successfully taken into custody mere minutes after his shootdown…
Except, nobody had been able to find any of his passengers. Including the Dyad.
It'd been a tense hour since then, with naught but the unseasonal tropical heat surrounding the Mystery Dungeon, his own wingbeats, and the occasional broadcast from his badge from his Fähnlein's Psychic dispatchers to keep him company. He heard the brief hum of a badge on his line flicker to life, and then Sophia's cawing voice speaking over the line.
"All units, this is 'Rakete₁'. One of the search parties found the Dyad's footprints near the falls. We followed them to a ledge overlooking the Mystery Dungeon."
Lacan cast his glance towards the falls, and sure enough, noticed a number of figures gathered at a bluff in front of the treeline a little ways off from the river's edge. The Salamence wheeled, flying along the plateau's edge until his eyes came upon Sophia standing at the fore of a small party of soldiers in green plates gathered by a ledge overlooking a thick layer of fog. Lacan swooped down, landing in a patch of open grass near the edge as he trotted to a stop and trained a stern gaze at his Corvisquire subordinate as she saluted at attention with a wing over her heart—as was custom for those in His Majesty's army physically capable of making the gesture.
"Oberstleutnant Sophia, what exactly is going on here?" the Salamence asked. "Why would you fire off your signal right after finding the Dyad's trail?"
"Because we also found where her trail ended."
Lacan blinked as Sophia raised a wing and motioned off for the ledge, a quick glance down revealing footsteps heading over it. The Salamence reflexively froze and felt his blood chill. He knew the Dyad had been growing increasingly desperate over the past year and surely was starting to become more cognizant of her nature, but surely she wouldn't have done anything as rash as trying to harm herself, would she?
… No, it wasn't like her. And there was no reason to believe that she'd learned anything specific about her nature or what His Majesty's army intended to use it for that would plant such an idea in her head. The way that the footsteps turned back near the ledge all but confirmed it. They were a clear indication that she and her fellow Outlaws had stopped to climb down something. Lacan paced over and craned his head down to see a sea of fog beneath him, along with a set of mangled vines that flowed over the edge and abruptly stopped.
The Salamence peered down and stopped to fish a golden, faintly glowing orb from a satchel slung about the back of his neck. The Dragon-type gave it a small kick over the ledge, the glassy sphere vanishing into the mist before bouncing off a small outcropping in the cliff that launched it out about about his neck's length before it vanished entirely. Lacan watched intently after the Luminous Orb, waiting for it to burst and flash its light, only for no sight or sound to come from it.
"So nah und doch so fern…"ᴰ¹
Lacan looked up and turned back to his underlings with a grumbling shake of his head. The Dyad and her companions had fallen into the Mystery Dungeon's Distortion, so it was unlikely they'd die outright from their landing inside of it. With the way that space wrapped in on itself in such places, by the time it spat them up onto a floor, they'd likely fare much as if they'd fallen through a Pitfall Trap from one floor to the next. To top it off, from what he knew about this particular Mystery Dungeon, there would be dense thickets of foliage much like the surrounding forests to break their fall.
At the same time, sending a party to search this place of all Mystery Dungeons…
Lacan noticed his Corvisquire lieutenant staring at him worriedly, and he stopped to suck in a sharp breath before turning to a waiting Houndoom at the front of the group.
"It would seem the Dyad and those ruffians opted to try and shelter in Primordial Woods and got in over their heads in the process," he remarked. "I'll notify the others. Put up some markers around the perimeter for them to find and then report back."
The Houndoom grunted and obliged, heading off towards a waiting Medicham before the pair disappeared into the brush. A few moments later, the Salamence sighed and pinched a wing at the left side of his scarf, briefly leaving behind an impression of a badge that had been pinned against its inner surface.
"All units, this is 'Sucher₂'. Stay on the line for new search assignments and converge on our signal, our targets fled into Primordial Woods and appear to have bitten off more than they could chew."
The drake let his wing linger as affirmations came through the badge, before letting the hidden metal lump go and furrowing his brow with a low sigh.
Prior to this mission, it had been years since he'd used that callsign on Varhyder soil, and he couldn't say he ever imagined this was how he'd use it again. Chasing after a little whelp who'd spent the past year slipping through his claws from one improbable escape after another.
A whelp who was at once Varhyde's aegis and her bane. Who had feints waged on Edialeigher soil for her sake lest their spies learn that the key for one of either Varhyde or Edialeigh forcing the other to its knees was already on their hated enemy's soil.
"So what are we waiting for? Let's find an entrance and start canvassing the place!"
Lacan snapped back to attention at the sharp pipe of a nearby Talonflame in green plates. The nearby soldiers visibly lacked the hawk's enthusiasm, and audibly hemmed and hawed in reply. A Yanmega among their number was particularly taken aback, the Bug-type casting a glance at the swirling fog before she shrank back nervously.
"Wait, you mean to actually go in there? Herr Gemeinwebel, have you been drinking Drive again?" she protested. "That Mystery Dungeon down there's Primordial Woods, for crying out loud!"
… Drive 'again'? Sophia clearly needed to have a conversation with Frantz about his habits sometime later. Even if Lacan didn't think much of the Bug-type and her fellow soldiers' visible display of nerves, it was hard to fault them.
"Yeah? So?" the Talonflame scoffed. "It's just another Mystery Dungeon, isn't it?"
"You'd be wise not to jump to conclusions so swiftly."
Lacan loomed over the Talonflame with a sharp glare that promptly shut him up after he noticed it. The Dragon-type glanced off to his left, where almost at once, he found just the sign he needed to disabuse the Talonflame of his undue confidence:
There in the brush was a group of trees that had been obviously disturbed by some sort of large creature with dark stains on it and clawed, three-toed footprints leading up to it in the dirt. The Talonflame blinked at the sight, as Lacan narrowed his eyes at him with a sharp huff.
"Go and inspect that damaged foliage there, Gemeinwebel Frantz," the Salamence instructed. "I will accompany you so you can make your argument about how this is 'just another Mystery Dungeon' to my face."
The Talonflame inched forward to inspect the site as Lacan shadowed him, only for the bird to freeze halfway there. He must've noticed the same thing that Lacan could already pick up on his nostrils from the ledge: the scent of blood in the brush. The Fire-type made his way over to the damaged foliage, and at once recoiled with a startled squawk. Clearly whatever Frantz found didn't sit well with him. Lacan thought to press the Talonflame for a report, but opted to defer as Sophia flitted over and shook her head.
"I suppose that you've gathered by now, Gemeinwebel, but Primordial Woods is well-known to be a challenging Mystery Dungeon to pass through even in the best of times. Its Wilders have become more and more agitated in recent years," the Corvisquire explained. "I'm sure that the Graf and I could traverse it if we had to, but even with our armor, I wouldn't be confident that we wouldn't incur casualties were we to search it thoroughly."
"So unless you'd care to volunteer to take the lead, I'd strongly encourage you to be less glib about venturing into it," Lacan added. "After all, I won't be the one struggling to make it through there."
The Talonflame gulped and nodded back overhastily when Lacan turned his head at the sound of crunching brush. The Salamence peered off towards the treeline, where he caught the sight of a haggard-looking Dragonite with a visible cut on his belly being marched along with his claws bound behind his back with a small party led by a Lucario. As they neared, the Lucario kicked the Dragonite's shins to trip him forward and sent him flopping onto his belly in the dirt. A Scolipede from the party came up alongside the captive, throwing some of the Carrier's tattered bags onto the ground before saluting his superior.
"Oberst Lacan, this is the Carrier that was transporting the Dyad and the others," the Lucario said. "What shall we do with him?"
"I say we break those wings of his and then see how well he flies off that ledge here afterwards," the Scolipede huffed. "That bastard and his buddies messed up Zig!"
Lacan growled for silence, before turning his head and frowning at his captive. The Salamence paced over and glared down at the Dragonite, who visibly froze and quivered as he neared. Even if the Carrier had lived to tell the tale, hiss landing hadn't been kind to him, as his orange hide was visibly covered in scrapes and cuts and his right wing was held out stiff and wounded.
It was hard to believe that the pathetic wretch in front of him was of a species spoken of highly for its prowess and strength. Let alone the same one as his departed father. He leaned his head in and after noticing a strange smell, gave a wary sniff, and narrowed his eyes after he recognized it carried a distinctive sweet and spicy odor.
"You certainly have a way of courting trouble, Dragonite. I can smell that Lansat Syrup on your breath," Lacan snarled. "State your full name and purpose."
On the ground, the Dragonite quivered and shrank back, trying to scoot away from the Salamence with a low, frightened whine.
"H-Hermes Dragonirs the Swift," the Dragonite gulped. "Wh-Whatever's going on here, I don't know anything about it! I-I was just trying to run some parcels out to the Capital!"
Lacan narrowed his eyes and turned his head aside with an unimpressed scoff at the Dragonite's explanation.
"Hrmph, I hope your service as a Carrier's better than your ability to tell a convincing lie," the Graf snapped. "If you truly were just trying to deliver your goods, you would have yielded to us after our first warning shot."
Something about the comment seemed to hit a nerve with Hermes. In spite of his bindings, the Dragonite suddenly fought against them, gritting his teeth and glaring with a palpable sense of indignation.
"Warning shot, my ass!" he fumed. "You ambushed me and were trying to shoot me out of the sky from the start-!"
Lacan lowered his head into Hermes' face and let out a low snarl, flashing his fangs with hot, irritated breath. The color abruptly drained from the Dragonite's face along with his defiance as he pinned his antennae back against his head with an audible squeak.
"I- I suppose there's always room for it to have just been a misunderstanding," he gulped.
Pathetic. And from the reactions of the nearby soldiers, Lacan gathered that his subordinates weren't any more impressed than he was. A few of them gave unimpressed scoffs at the quailing Dragonite, while others cut in with churlish voices and threw taunting sneers at the captured Carrier.
"Aren't you a brave one, Fettwanst₃."
"What's the matter, Outlaw? Not so tough when you don't have numbers on your side?"
"Ten Carolins says he craps himself during interrogation."
Lacan silenced the chatter with a low snarl and turned his attention to the Dragonite. He probably wouldn't have taken that bet against Hermes' cowardice himself, but that was fine by him.
After all, in both Varhyde and Edialeigh, his type were always the quickest to run their mouths off about all sorts of topics. Especially when given appropriate motivation.
"Is that also your excuse for aiding and abetting Pokémon committing seditious acts against His Majesty's realm?" the Salamence spat.
Hermes' eyes widened briefly as Lacan threw a foreleg forward and kicked his captive over. The Graf bared his fangs, watching as the Carrier screwed his eyes shut out of fright, and threw his mouth forward at the Dragonite's neck. Lacan felt the fabric of Hermes' scarf brush against his teeth, and for a brief moment, the Dragonite's neck scales.
But there was no need to go that far—not yet, anyways. He still needed this waste of flesh well enough to tell him what he needed. And he hadn't decided yet what he'd do with him afterwards.
Lacan bit down on the hem of Hermes' scarf as the Dragonite let out a sharp squeal. The Salamence briefly heard the wounded drake audibly whimper and felt his scales tremble, before giving a sharp tug at the hem. The sound of tearing fabric rang out as Lacan wrenched the teal and white cloth from the Dragonite's neck and pulled it off in a mangled strip. It took a moment for the Carrier to register he could no longer feel the Salamence's breath against his scales as he let panicked breaths in and out on the ground. Lacan watched Hermes tremble and squirm, when sure enough the Dragonite cracked his eyes open warily to see what Lacan could feel in his mouth.
The teal-and-white colors that had been on his neck just moments prior.
"A-Ack! Wh-What are you doing?!" Hermes yelped. "That's my scarf!"
"Hrmph, aren't you an observant one?" Lacan scoffed. "I noticed that your colors didn't seem quite right."
The Salamence spat the torn cloth into the dirt with a dirty glare. "Perhaps you should ask your Outlaw companions for a matching replacement after you rejoin them."
Lacan's remark drew a moment's hesitation from his Corvisquire companion, before the Graf turned his attention to the Scolipede and Grimmsnarl standing guard over the Dragonite.
"I have no more use for this wretch," he harrumphed. "Push him in with the rest of those Outlaw scum!"
The pair nodded before they hoisted the bulky Dragon-type up by his bindings and began to shove him forward. It was a gamble, but if the Dragonite knew anything about the Dyad or her companions, putting the fear of the gods into him was the fastest way of getting it. And if he clammed up or genuinely didn't know anything… well it'd save him the trouble of having to use an Apricorn to dispose of him.
Lacan watched as the color visibly drained from Hermes' face after seeing the approaching ledge. He fought against his restraints and wrenched his head back, crying out in an audibly panicked tone.
"Y-You can't push me in there like this!" Hermes yelped. "That's Primordial Woods! Those Pokémon inside will tear me up if they think I'm a Wilder!"
Lacan scowled wordlessly after the Dragonite when he heard rustling feathers. He cast a glance from the side of his eye and noticed Sophia seemed to be wavering after hearing the Dragonite's protest. The crow briefly saw him staring at her, before hardening her gaze back at Hermes and shaking her head with an unimpressed scoff.
"You're a Dragonite," she said. "Show a little self-respect."
"I-I used to be on an Exploration Team when I was younger and evolved early from Distortion exposure in the past!" Hermes insisted. "Pl-Please, I'm not really as tough as I look!"
Sophia looked away with a low mutter. "Then you'll have the skills to take care of yourself. I'm sure you'll last until you can be rescued by an Exploration Team."
Lacan briefly cocked a brow, as something about Sophia's voice felt like she was trying to convince herself of her own words. The Scolipede and Grimmsnarl shoved Hermes forward towards the ledge, and he was now but a few paces from pitching over it. The Dragonite tried to dig his feet in, only for his attempts to fight against his guards to come to naught as he drew closer and closer to the plateau's edge and the foggy abyss below. About five paces out, Hermes visibly bowled over and pulled his tail in towards his body and his head into his chest, much like he might've if his stomach had grown upset. And still, he kept begging, his voice beginning to come out audibly hitching and whining.
"Pl-Please! I'm a loyal subject of King Siegmund!" the Dragonite pleaded. "Th-The only reason why I'm not serving in the army like you is because I failed my vision test!"
"Well, that's not my problem, now is it?" Lacan scoffed. "Though I would be more inclined to listen to your groveling if I knew you weren't from among those Outlaws' numbers."
"Th-Those three paid me for a ride out to Toya Square! The Axew with them mentioned she wanted to go to the Divine Roost! I s-swear! Th-That's all I know! Th-That's all I-"
Lacan looked on wordlessly as the Dragonite began to choke back frightened sobs. He watched with a hardened scowl as the Carrier went up to the ledge, when he felt feathers prodding at his leg, and saw Sophia sidling up against him with an uneasy look.
"Graf Wellenhafen, I think he's being earnest," the crow insisted.
The Salamence barked out to the Scolipede and Grimmsnarl to halt. The pair stopped with puzzled frowns, as Lacan turned his head over to his Corvisquire subordinate.
"Sophia, what are you getting at?"
"He did cooperate with us, Graf. And last I heard, Soldat₄ Zig's injuries ultimately weren't life-threatening," Sophia explained. "Aside from this Carrier's possession of contraband, the offenses he committed were a result of being duped."
Lacan said nothing and frowned down at the Corvisquire for a moment. She hesitated briefly, before ruffling her feathers and speaking up.
"I'm aware that our mission is a sensitive matter, but considering this Carrier's substance habit, it would likely raise fewer questions to just let him go," she insisted. "After all, how many Pokémon are going to believe a syrup-drinker if he says he was set upon by soldiers from His Majesty's army?"
Lacan looked back at the still-trembling and sniffling Dragonite, and made his way over. The Grimmsnarl and Scolipede soldier traded glances, when Lacan stamped the ground impatiently. He hadn't decided what to do with his captive just yet, but either way, the march to the ledge had given him what he wanted. Now it was time to settle this wretch's fate with his own claws.
"Turn him around."
Lacan watched as the Scolipede and Grimmsnarl did as ordered and turned the Dragonite to face him. Hermes' eyes were screwed tightly shut and visibly damp, and the Dragon-type was quietly gagging. Lacan had heard that serpentine Pokemon often grew nauseous when frightened, somehow he didn't realize that the whimpering wreck in front of him would be much the same.
The Graf sized up his quivering captive and the foggy abyss below. He turned and noted Sophia looking and hesitated a moment, before he made his mind up.
"Unbind this commoner and send him on his way with what's left of his scarf and his cargo," he growled. "I've gotten what I need from him."
The Scolipede and Grimmsnarl blinked briefly, as Sophia flitted in with a sharp glare, with a set of Hermes' bags in her claws.
"That wasn't a suggestion," she snapped. "You heard Graf Wellenhafen, now heed his orders!"
The soldiers hastily stammered back affirmations as the Grimmsnarl hurriedly undid the knots of the Dragonite's bindings. Hermes slumped forward, trembling on the ground as Sophia threw his bags in front of him.
"The nearest route is about five minutes walking north of here through the forest. You'll surely find it from the paths our more ground-bound members had to tread in order to get to you," Sophia chimed in. "Begone and do make a point of keeping better company in the future, Dragonite."
Lacan watched as Hermes whimpered and nodded back before hastily scooping up his belongings and limping away through the brush. A few of the nearby soldiers floated snide remarks about how unbecoming the Dragonite's display was for a Pokemon of his kind, along with a passing exchange to "pay up those ten Carolins". Somebody had evidently won his bet on the Dragonite keeping some scrap of his dignity. Barely.
Lacan shook his head and nosed at Sophia and motioned for her to follow the plateau's ledge towards the falls in the distance. The pair drifted off from the other soldiers, before Lacan narrowed his eyes with a low harrumph.
He knew that Sophia had had a sense of chivalry drilled into her from her knightly order, but moments like these always worried him…
"Du bist zu nett zu deinem eigenen Besten, Sophia. Dieses Zögern von dir wird eines Tages dein Ende als Ritterin bedeuten."ᴰ²
Hermes wasn't the first Pokémon he'd relented from for the sake of his Corvisquire companion, and Lacan doubted the Dragonite be the last. Sophia had been the first Pokémon there for him since that awful day when he'd had to flee his home, and a stalwart companion in the years since then who'd been at his side during most of his lowest moments. The one he'd passed the Eviolite that King Siegmund had originally gifted him precisely because of a time when he wasn't able to do the same for her.
Perhaps he ought to have been less surprised that he still didn't have the heart to challenge her over it.
Lacan didn't know how much of that Sophia was aware of, but she didn't seem to be thinking about it right then. The Corvisquire turned her head back up to him and hesitated a moment. After a brief pause, she ruffled her feathers uncomfortably and cast a glance past her superior's wings with a shake of her head.
"Lacan, we're still in earshot," she whispered back in protest. "If there was something you wanted to talk about-"
Lacan cut her off with a beat of his wings, which prompted her to bite her tongue. He cast a glance back off at the other soldiers as they settled in and broke off into small groups, before opening his mouth to chide her.
"Aus diesem Grund wurden die restlichen Soldaten dieses Fähnleins aus Alltagsleuten mit schlechten Kenntnissen der Hochsprache gezogen, Sophia. Genau deshalb können wir Gespräche über eine so heikle Mission ohne Angst vor Abhörungen führen."ᴰ³
The roar of the falls' water had grown louder, with a quick glance up ahead revealing they were approaching the edge of the river where the water ran over the falls and into the Mystery Dungeon's fog below. From how loud their roar was, Lacan figured this was probably as good an opportunity as they were going to get to converse openly, and he opted to take it.
"It sounded as if you had something of your own you wished to say, Sophia," he said. "What is it? Though do be mindful if it's something you want the others to also hear."
The Corvisquire raised a wing and opened her beak to answer, only to catch herself. After a brief pause, she shook her head and cast a glance back at the other soldiers behind them in the distance, before speaking up again in a guarded tone.
"Ich … weiß nicht, wie wir diese Situation retten können, Lacan. Diese Ganoven sind jetzt wahrscheinlich tief im Mysteriösen Ort und die Dyade wird in den Klauen dieser Wilden im Inneren sicherlich in Gefahr sein."ᴰ⁴
The Salamence batted his tail and gave a low snort in reply to the Corvisquire, all but rolling his eyes in response. While it was a fair worry, after how much the Dyad had kept exceeding their expectations, he was surprised that Sophia kept thinking of her as some helpless child. The Dyad had already rebuffed them when they attempted to deal with her as such, and the Generalstab₅ wouldn't have pulled out years-old war plans for Operation Spark if that was all she were.
Nor would they have tasked him and Sophia with combing the kingdom for her for the past year or changed their campaign strategies in Edialeigh in preparation for her deployment onto the frontlines over that same time when Varhyde needed every claw it could to press down on her ancient nemesis' throat.
"Oh come now, you don't need to try and disguise a matter like that from prying ears, Sophia," Lacan chided. "It's not exactly a crown secret that exits out of Primordial Woods are fairly well-mapped, so it's just a matter of posting forces where the Dyad and those Outlaws would pass nearby to intercept them."
The Salamence looked out over the expanse below the fog, and motioned with a foreleg off at rolling plains near a large lake in the distance.
"We'd do well to review what other Mystery Dungeons link to this one and try and dispatch units there as well. Or at least send notice to any local garrisons to be on the lookout for the Dyad and her companions," he mused. "I know offhand that Raptor Rock is one of them, and it has exits that open up not far from Newangle City."
Lacan's expression hardened as he remained firmly fixed out at the dungeon fog at the base of the falls, letting out a low growl from the back of his throat. The Corvisquire's worry didn't shift much, and it was honestly hard to fault her. They had already run their forces and themselves hard just to make it to this ambush and were waiting on a good three quarters of their Fähnlein to catch up from Moonturn Square. If they pushed on immediately without rest and making contact with the rest of their forces, they ran the risk of whatever forces they could marshal out towards search areas further afield would arrive exhausted and overstretched.
"We'll be cutting it close," he murmured. "If they have a run of good luck, they could be in an entirely different Provinz₆ by the morning."
Except, that wasn't the matter that worried him the most about their current circumstances. No, that had to do with the Dyad's present state. Something that he supposed had to be addressed sooner or later…
"Was Angelegenheiten betrifft, die zwischen uns sollten, zeigte die Dyade kurz vor ihrer Flucht Anzeichen eines Wiedererwachens. Bei so viel Kummer, den sie uns bereitet, sollten wir davon ausgehen, dass sie stark genug geworden ist, um durch den Großurwald in Sicherheit zu gelangen."ᴰ⁵
Sophia gave a concerned tilt of her head back, and after a brief moment of cawing hesitation, spoke up warily in reply.
"Kann man überhaupt davon ausgehen, dass sie immer noch eine Dyade sein wird, wenn sie am anderen Ende auftaucht? Wenn sie wieder erwachte, bevor sie an die Frontlinie gebracht werden kann…"ᴰ⁶
Lacan stiffened up and turned back from the view off in the distance. Time had been ticking against them since when they first came across the Dyad in that riverside hamlet they initially found her in. Likely for much longer than that. And if that time ran out before she could be moved in place as part of Operation Spark…
No. There was no point in worrying about such dark possibilities. Things weren't that dire. Not yet, anyways. From the state the Dyad was in at the time they caught her, they could at least take that for granted right now.
"Zu der Zeit, als wir sie verloren haben, war nicht bekannt, dass sie ihre ganze Macht offenbarte. Ich möchte nicht annehmen, dass wir einen großen Spielraum für Fehler haben, aber die Situation ist noch nicht so kritisch, dass dies Anlass zur Sorge geben würde."ᴰ⁷
The Dragon-type said nothing for a moment, as a cruel, knowing smile spread over his mouth.
"Besides, I assume she'll have more immediate worries on her mind once she makes it back to the outside world. She'll likely be looking for someplace to patch up what's left of her new friends. It'll help us narrow down our search area considerably."
Creeeaaak!
Dalton flinched after hearing the earthen stairs seal behind him. They climbed upwards between floors in this Mystery Dungeon, into rock ledges and mats of vegetation that formed ceilings, not that the misty sky ringed by stone outcroppings in the impossible distance above would've made one think that at first.
It'd been three floors since they first entered this place, two of them fortunately having gone by quickly from finding the stairs in short order, the first of which they'd found had quite fortuitously taken them into a chamber with another set of stairs at the other end. Their current floor had been less fortunate, and they'd been combing along paths in thickets and undergrowth long enough that Lyle was beginning to grow increasingly paranoid over anything that sounded like it might be Dungeon Winds.
"Wait a minute, are those ruins? Just what sort of dungeon did we jump into that'd have those?"
Dalton blinked and watched as Lyle stepped forward warily, crouched low and sniffing at the ground next to a few colorful shards: the remains of broken Emeras, it looked like. A little ways forward, Dalton noticed Lyle come across something like hard stone underfoot, and stepped onto it with his teammates and found that it felt much the same. A quick glance at the pits and cracks at the slab they were on gave away its composition—concrete.
After scanning their surroundings, they realized they were in the remains of some sort of chamber. One of them had a faded, red sigil that looked like two comets swirling in on each other nestled among the jungle's overgrowth, making the Heliolisk stop with a startled blink.
"What in the-? What's that doing here?" he asked.
Irune looked back at Dalton, before giving a puzzled tilt of her head.
"Huh? Is there something wrong, Dalton?"
The sigil was one that some human relics and ruins in Varhyde sported, including on some of the tallest ruins still standing in Newangle City. It was the sigil of a mysterious human institution predating the Great Flash called 'Vector Ah-ghee'. Dalton remembered from his studies back in better times of his life that all the Kingdom's historians couldn't agree what on earth it even was, and all manner of competing theories as to what purpose it served for humans had cropped up: a royal house, a merchant guild, an institute of learning. Only a few things were definitively known about it, among them that the founding King of Varhyde apparently had some sort of tie with it.
But a Mystery Dungeon with human ruins inside near Toya Square? He'd only heard about it in stories from some of his fellows from the Riparian Raiders, but… surely they didn't have the misfortune to wander into there…
Dalton looked down and noticed that near the edge of the concrete, there was a footprint with three prominent claws stamped down into it. He froze and grimaced. That left no confusion as to where they were.
"I… know where we are right now," Dalton said. "We're in Primordial Woods."
"Primordial Woods?" Irune asked, tilting her head puzzledly.
"It's a Mystery Dungeon that formed around a set of human ruins that have since become overgrown. According to legend, it used to be a place where humans brought dead Pokemon back to life," the Heliolisk explained. "Nobody knows how true those stories are, but the place is full of Pokémon that are rarely encountered as Wilders elsewhere in Varhyde."
A low scoff followed almost immediately after Dalton's explanation. A quick glance to his right revealed the culprit was Kate, who was in the middle of rolling her eyes and blowing a puff of frigid breath up at her ear feather.
"I think we could've done without the folklore lesson there, Scales. And I haven't heard a whole lot about why we're supposed to treat this place any different than another Mystery Dungeon," she harrumphed. "Go through, give the occasional Wilder a scare, and duck out the exit once we find it. Crappy weather and weird 'mons aside, how's this any different from going through a place like Waterhead Cave?"
"Stick around and find out, Invader scum!"
Dalton and his teammates froze as they heard a sharp snarl. Kate turned her head and her eyes instantly shrank to pins at the sight of something off in the distance. Dalton followed her gaze and immediately felt his blood run cold as the ground trembled underfoot. There, a hulking red beast with white feathers about its neck sprang out from the brush with a mob of other Pokémon all around the chamber. Strange Pokémon that he'd only run into as Civils in towns or on roads between them: a Tyrantrum, a trio of Tyrunt, an Aurorus, an Archen, a Cranidos…
If the stories he'd heard about this place were anything to go by, Dalton was sure he was going to wish things had stayed that way. The Tyrantrum from their number stepped forward, giving a low snarl as she rounded onto the four Outlaws.
"We don't take kindly to your type around here," the Rock-type growled. "So it's about time we got it through those thick heads of yours!"
They'd blundered into a Wilders' ambush. What did Hunters call these things again? Monster-Räume₇? Monster Houses? Whatever the term, it was all the same: a swarm of angry Wilders itching for a fight. Just like the ones in front of them, because of course they would run into one in a place like this.
"As I was going to say," Dalton piped. "Primorial Woods is also infamous for being a treacherous place to travel through! One where Civils that pass through it are commonly attacked!"
"So you've heard of this place," one of the Tyrunt snarled. "Then let us teach you to listen to your warnings!"
The Tyrunt lunged at Irune, only for Kate to cut in with a sideways chop of her claws. The Sneasel's Brick Break struck the Tyrunt in the side of her head and launched her back, sending the Wilder flopping onto the ground with a low, pained whimper as she weakly twitched her limbs.
"Get them!"
Any hopes that the Tyrunt's defeat would cow the other Wilders swiftly died as the Tyrantrum charged in with jaws bared. Dalton hurriedly threw a bolt of electricity at the Rock-type and scampered back, seeing his teammates doing much the same as the other Wilders charged them snarling and throwing attacks forward. A yelp from his right turned his attention to Lyle hurriedly rolling out of the way just as a Cranidos charged in with his head lowered. The Quilava hastily spat up a Will-O-Wisp and turned and bolted after his teammates as startled fire poured out his vents.
"Gah! K-Keep your guard up!" Lyle cried. "We're gonna need to dig in at a better place than this!"
Dalton hurriedly scanned his surroundings: undergrowth, concrete walls, tree trunks, when his eyes noticed a path sprouting off towards the left between a gap of ruined concrete segments. It wasn't as foolproof as hunkering down between cavern walls like in Waterhead Cave, but…
"Over there on the left!" the Heliolisk cried. "We can use the mouth of that path as a choke point!"
"Dalton! Look out!"
Dalton blinked after hearing Irune cry out and yelped as he suddenly felt something lift him by his bag. He felt hot breath against his scales, then looked up and screamed. There right above him, was the Tyrantrum sinking her teeth into his bag, her teeth just barely missing his scales.
Dalton reflexively threw his frill wide in a hail of sparks and a deafening crackle. The attack worked well enough, as the Tyrantrum let him go with a startled shout along with other cries filling the clearing and left him to tumble to the ground in a panting daze alongside a mix of items and coins that had spilled from his bag.
The Heliolisk blindly scrabbled to his feet. As he regained his bearings, he saw his Discharge had left an Archen and a Kabuto slumped over limply, and that the Tyrantrum herself was reeling with a pained whine about "he's not supposed to hit that hard".
Before the Electric-type could say anything, he watched as Kate blew an Icy Wind at some of the other Wilders in the group. Irune was also there, darting in and swiftly scooping a blue object off the ground that she flung at the Tyrantrum.
The object struck the dinosaur's snout with an audible pop and then she vanished in a flash of light. A Warp Seed? Perhaps those Hunters they ripped off weren't as poorly equipped as he originally thought.
"Dalton! Help us out here!"
Dalton stumbled up after a sharp tug from Irune, before she took off after Kate for the path's entrance. Just behind him, a bellowing roar turned Dalton's attention over to Lyle pinwheeling through the air after being hit by a spray of rocks from an Aurorus. The Quilava hit the ground and yelped in pain, Dalton narrowing his eyes as he ran at harrying Wilder.
"Oh no you don't!"
Dalton stomped the ground and sent a shockwave along its surface that churned the earth around the towering Rock-type, who recoiled with a pained bellow. From the ground, Lyle hurriedly righted himself and threw himself forward with a fiery somersault square into the sauropod's chest. The Aurorus jolted up with a pained scream, before wavering and flopping over onto his side with a dazed groan.
Dalton supposed the stories about evolved Wilders in Mystery Dungeons sometimes evolving unnaturally early really were true. He'd certainly have expected an Aurorus to put up more of a fight than that.
"You! I'll chew your tusks when I'm done with you!"
A sharp snarl turned the pair's attention over towards a blue Tyrunt pouncing on Irune and snapping at her, with a Shieldon and an Amaura running in seemingly to aid their fellow Wilder. Irune dug her feet into the dirt, trashing her head wildly as Lyle's eyes shot wide.
"Get off of her, you little runt!"
Lyle spat up a spray of cinders at the blue Tyrunt's back, which stunned him briefly. Long enough for Irune to force him off with a pair of chopping slashes with her tusks. Dalton began to build up electricity to dispatch the lot of Irune's attackers when the Tyrunt of the group got up with a low growl.
"Hrmph, have fun fighting these Invaders on your own, sharptooth!"
"Yeah! Go take it up with your leader that just got warped away!
Except this time, the Shieldon and Amaura didn't come back to his aid, and blew raspberries before darting away. The Tyrunt glanced over his shoulder and flopped his jaw open as the pair fled, his earlier confidence abruptly vanishing.
"H-Huh?! Hey what the-?!" the Tyrunt yelped. "You two are supposed to be helping me-!"
Dalton didn't wait for the Tyrunt to finish his words and threw a Thunderbolt at him that made the Rock-type thrash and squeal in pain. The dinosaur keeled over with a low whimper, struggling to get up when a blue gout of dragonfire sailed in and struck him in the face. The Tyrunt crumpled up limply, as Irune panted and narrowed her eyes back at her Heliolisk and Quilava teammates.
"I-I was handling myself fine, you know!" she insisted.
"Well excuse me for assuming his buddies weren't going to run off!" Lyle snapped back.
A pained howl rang out from the opposite end of the path's entrance, the three looking over to see a third Tyrunt staggering and flopping over wreathed in frost. There, Kate was braced for battle, turning her attention to a nearby Tirtouga and Archen, but as soon as the pair saw the Tyrunt hit the ground, they looked back at their comrades deeper in the chamber.
It was then that Dalton saw it. The rest of the Wilders were turning and fleeing. There was a brief moment of hesitation, when the Tirtouga and Archen's will to fight seemingly evaporated in front of Team Forager's eyes as the pair backed off and shot dirty glares at the fainted Tyrunt.
"H-Have fun dealing with those Invaders, jerks!" the Archen spat. "We're out of here!"
"Yeah, serves you sharptooths right!" the Tirtouga huffed.
The Archen and Tirtouga hastily darted off, joined by the Shieldon and Amaura, and then the rest of the still-standing Wilders. Team Forager looked on blankly at the emptied chamber and the seven fainted Pokemon littering it.
The Wilders that organized Monster Houses were supposed to generally be more aggressive types. They'd fought their way through less than half of their ranks, without properly defeating their ringleader and here the rest of them had just abruptly given up and turned tail!
"What on earth?" Lyle murmured.
"Tch, so they scare easily once the tough guys among them get taken out," Kate said, shaking her head with a dismissive snort. "Figures."
Dalton looked about the fainted Pokemon, and noted that of them, three were Tyrunt and the Tyrantrum they assumed was their ringleader was currently gods-knew-where on the floor from the Warp Seed.
Why, the way that the fleeing Wilders had behaved at the corridor entrance felt… familiar. Uncomfortably so. It almost reminded Dalton of stories he'd heard of mutinous conscripts turning tail after seeing their superiors fall in combat.
"I don't think that's it, Kate," he insisted. "It's almost as if they… abandoned them."
Dalton and his teammates shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, before they turned to move along. Whatever was going on was a problem for those Wilders to figure out amongst themselves, and not for them to get tangled up in. Not while that Tyrantrum was still out there prowling the floor. The Heliolisk turned at the head of the group and began to make his way for the left corridor with his fellows, when pattering footsteps and a wary voice reached their ears.
"Uh… H-Hi?"
Dalton and the rest of Team Forager whirled around, just in time to see the Cranidos from the Monster House darting at them. Dalton braced himself alongside his teammates, the Heliolisk stepping forward as electricity crackled on his hide.
"Gah! Looks like our battle isn't over!"
And then much to Dalton's surprise, the Cranidos' eyes shot wide as the Rock-type jumped back with a startled yelp. Dalton blinked a moment as he watched the dinosaur shrink back, doing his best to make himself look small as he stammered out a hasty explanation.
"A-Ack! It's not like that at all!" the Cranidos yelped. "It's just that… you're scarf-wearers and you're supposed to take Pokémon that want to come with you, right?"
Dalton eased up as the sparks on his hide dissipated and looked over at his teammates to see them trading wary glances with one another. None of them were quite sure what to make of the Cranidos' words, when Dalton spotted a brief flash of realization coming over Lyle's face. The stoat took a brief moment to shake his head, before narrowing his eyes and pinning his ears back with a sharp scoff.
"Are you asking us to recruit you?" the Quilava pressed. "You sure have a funny way of showing interest from the way you tried to jump us with your buddies a couple moments ago!"
"W-Well you can't expect me to just join someone who isn't strong enough to look out for me!" Cranidos shot back, lowering his head with a defensive huff. "The world's big and dangerous, so of course I want to go along with someone tough who will have my back!"
Dalton frowned, but he supposed it was a hard point to argue from a Wilder's perspective. After all, losing a battle as a Wilder often had consequences as dire as falling on a battlefield, if not moreso. Perhaps it'd also explain why the Cranidos was so on-edge. The dinosaur glanced about his surroundings nervously, before turning back to Team Forager's members with an uneasy fidget of his claws.
"Look, the point is, I… I want to get away from here, and you don't really seem to know how to get around, so we'd be able to help each other," the Cranidos explained. "So then… if I help show you the way out, can I be a part of your team?"
Dalton traded glances with Lyle and Kate at the Cranidos' offer as they weighed the Rock-type's proposal. He… wasn't sure how he felt about the idea, really. The Cranidos looked young, enough so that were he a Civil, Dalton wasn't sure the army would even accept him into a Tross as a camp follower. Was it really a good idea to get someone like him sucked up into their problems?
… At the same time, the Cranidos clearly had problems of his own, and they were in a unique position to help each other. Not to mention, they couldn't make it to the Divine Roost if they didn't make it out of Primordial Woods in one piece in the first place.
Dalton hemmed and hawed to himself briefly and was about to open his mouth to speak just as a small smile crossed Kate's muzzle and she folded her arms in reply.
"Heh, I don't see anything wrong with it," she chuckled. "We've already got one ankle-biter on our team. What's the harm in having another that hits like a charging Rhyhorn?"
Dalton wasn't sure how he felt that he was agreeing with the loose cannon of his team and he probably ought to have been more worried about it. He wasn't sure how he felt about the idea of having to introduce a Wilder to civilization, but the four of them weren't exactly super welcome to it themselves anyways…
"Having a guide would help us here considering this is Primordial Woods," he mused to himself. "What do you think, Lyle?"
Dalton watched as Lyle sized up the Cranidos and hesitated for a moment. Lyle seemed to visibly waver briefly, before he pawed at the back of his head with a small smile.
"Well… I guess it would help if we had another set of paws on the team-" the Fire-type started, only to be cut off by a sharp growl.
"Where is the closest exit from here?"
Dalton turned his eyes downward alongside Lyle and Kate just in time to see Irune stomping forward. She stormed ahead, encroaching on the Cranidos with a sharp scowl that made the Rock-type visibly squirm and shrink back uneasily.
"H-Huh?"
"The fastest way out of here," the Axew demanded. "Where is it?"
… What on earth was she doing? The Cranidos was all but ready to join them and now Irune was deciding she didn't trust him? A flash of alarm came over the dinosaur's face as he seemed to suspect that his chance for coming along was slipping away, as he began to uneasily stammer in reply.
"I-I mean, th-there's a passage ten floors up that links to another place like this beyond the mist," he explained. "But there's better places to- Agh!"
And then the clearing came alive with a flash of blue light as Irune spat up a gout of dragonfire at the Cranidos, striking him in his right arm. Dalton and his teammates' jaws dropped at the sight, the Cranidos doing much the same as he recoiled with a loud yelp and shrank back wide-eyed as the Axew rounded on him with a sharp snarl.
"Good. Now turn around and leave!" she shouted. "This team isn't capable of doing anything for you, and the quicker you get that through your head, the better!"
That was enough from her, really. Dalton hurried over and sharply pulled the Axew back, but it was too late. The Cranidos scrabbled out of the chamber as fast as his legs could carry him, leaving Kate to run after waving after the fleeing Rock-type.
"Wait! Come back!"
Kate stared blankly after the Wilder as he disappeared into the brush. Lyle approached Irune with his vents visibly smoldering in frustration and Kate looked little better when she turned around. For a second, Dalton raised his voice to try and urge the pair to calm down, but Kate was already upon Irune, latching onto the Axew's scarf and hoisting her off the ground wide-eyed.
"What is your problem, you little brat?!" the Sneasel hissed. "We had a guide get us out of this miserable hole!"
Dalton honestly couldn't say he wasn't wondering the same that himself at that moment. The Axew looked down at Kate's claws near her neck and her mouth briefly flopped open with a start. She fought back a stammer, as her eyes narrowed and her voice came out thick with angry defiance.
"A-And after that, then what?! Were you seriously planning on dragging a young 'mon like that along all the way across Varhyde?!" Irune demanded.
Kate tightened her grip and bared her fangs in reply, her red eyes glaring daggers into the Dragon-type in her grasp.
"And so what if we were?!" he spat. "We could've looked out for each other since we would've had another teammate!"
"You mean another Pokémon you can use as a distraction and abandon once the going gets tough like you did with the rest of your friends?!" Irune retorted. "Some teammate that is!"
Kate's expression faltered for a moment, as Dalton grit his teeth as sparks began to dance on his hide. Artem… and everyone else from the Riparian Raiders a distraction? When he was the one who wanted to hold out for them? How dare she?
The Heliolisk made his way over, only for Lyle to cut in with a swift dash and knock Irune out of Kate's claws. The Axew fell to the ground with a quiet yelp, as the Quilava stood between her and his teammates with his vents blazing, shooting a sharp glare between his fellow Outlaws.
"Alright, that's enough! All of you!" Lyle barked. "I'd like to remind everyone that we still need her to make it to the Divine Roost."
… Lyle was right, even if the shrine seemed no closer now in their present situation. Dalton backed off with a begrudging growl, as the Quilava turned his attention over at the Axew and leveled a piercing glare at her.
"And you've already caused enough trouble for one day," the Fire-type snapped. "Do you have anything else you want to get out? At this rate, we'll be lucky to make it off this floor with you blowing things up on us like that!"
Irune faltered and stared back up into the Quilava's eyes. She shook her head briefly, and after digging her feet into the dirt, grit her teeth and spat back in reply.
"Y-Yes, I do! It's called 'stop being such repulsive leeches and think about something other than your next payday for once'!" the Axew shouted. "You were ready to put a 'mon who was blindly looking for a way to leave this place into danger just so that way you could find your way out faster!"
… The story with the Balance Bandits was all some stupid act, wasn't it? Even if becoming an Outlaw himself had been a jarring experience at first, Dalton would never speak of his comrades-in-arms like that. Dalton snapped to attention from a sharp huff as Irune stomped down the leftward corridor, turning a disgusted glare back at him and his fellows.
"A-At least try to give me a reason to not have to look over my shoulder all the way out to the Divine Roost!" she snapped.
Dalton shot a venomous scowl after the Axew as she continued down the passage. What the hell would she know about what he'd been through? About the years he'd spent trying to get back some of what those damned Grünhäuter had taken from him and his family when there were no other options left?
Dalton's turned his head at the sound of a sharp, unimpressed hiss. After a quick glance to his side, he saw Kate glaring daggers after the Dragon-type before turning to him with a low mutter.
"Hrmph, was she ever an Outlaw to begin with?" she harrumphed. "Or has she been lying to us this entire time?"
… She couldn't have lied about everything. She'd done something to get the army to pursue her. But it didn't make sense to get to the bottom of that right here and now. Especially when it didn't sound like Irune particularly wanted their help.
"I don't know why she even bothered asking to work with us with an attitude like that," Dalton huffed. "Perhaps we're better off just letting her walk and taking our chances getting to the Divine Roost on our own."
"No."
Dalton blinked as he turned with Kate to see Lyle pacing forward and shaking his head insistently. The Quilava stared after the Axew drifting off and let out a grumbling sigh.
"I don't like it either, but we don't have any other options right now. She knows what's out there in the Divine Roost better than any of us," the Quilava said.
There was a moment of silence, as Lyle closed his eyes and shook his head with a low sigh.
"Whatever's going on between her and the army, we've seen too much for them to just let it go," the Quilava said. "We go along with her, get our share, and go our separate ways. Until then, just try and ignore her when she runs her mouth off like that."
Dalton heard a low growl and froze after he felt trembling footsteps. He and his teammates peeked around the cormer and turned their attention back to the far end of the chamber where they glimpsed the Tyrantrum from earlier returning into the clearing.
"Oi! You all just let yourself get wiped by those Invaders?! Get up!"
Dalton grimaced before looking around the rest of the chamber. The other Wilders from the Monster House were groaning and already starting to regain lucidity—as good a sign as any that it was time to leave.
"Not to be a nag, but we should get out of here. Now," Dalton said. "I don't exactly feel like fighting them all those Wilders off a second time."
"Hrmph, music to my ears," Kate grumbled. "Besides, even if I'm not thrilled about it, it wouldn't do any good to lose our little treasure guide in the middle of a Mystery Dungeon like this one."
One by one, Dalton and his fellow Outlaws hurriedly ducked down the corridor after their Axew counterpart. All the while, as the jungle and the ancient ruins flecking it drifted past around him, Dalton couldn't help but bristle at Irune's earlier tirade. He had endured all manner of abuse and invective hurled his way as an Outlaw, but something about the Axew's tone sounded almost like an angered parent.
His parents had never learned about his present… employment, and with how long ago since he'd heard from them at all, he wondered if they were still around to judge him. Even so, he'd spent many a night quietly terrified about what they'd think if they ever found out. That their remaining son they'd invested their hopes in was now some bandit prowling the hinterlands.
The Electric-type drifted in his thoughts for a moment, before shaking his head sharply. It was probably just idle yearnings that the past could've been different rearing their head again. After all, what would Irune know of any of that? And he and the others had more immediate things to worry about at hand.
Like not getting torn apart by this strange, primeval world all about them.
Author's Notes
Words and Phrases:
1. Rakete - "Rocket", "Missile"
2. Sucher - "Finder", "Seeker". Most commonly used in modern German for camera viewfinders.
3. Fettwanst - "Fatass", "Lardo". lit. "fat paunch/belly"
4. Soldat - Rank in contemporary Germanosphere armies equivalent to "Private", lit. "Soldier"
5. Generalstab - "General Staff"
6. Provinz - "Province"
7. Monster-Räume - German localization term for "Monster Houses", lit. "Monster Rooms / Spaces"
Dialogue:
D1. "So nah und doch so fern…" - "So close and yet so far…"
D2. "Du bist zu nett zu deinem eigenen Besten, Sophia. Dieses Zögern von dir wird eines Tages dein Ende als Ritterin bedeuten." - "You're too kind for your own good, Sophia. That hesitance of yours will be the end of you as a Ritterin one day."
D3. "Aus diesem Grund wurden die restlichen Soldaten dieses Fähnleins aus Alltagsleuten mit schlechten Kenntnissen der Hochsprache gezogen, Sophia. Genau deshalb könnten wir Gespräche über eine so heikle Mission ohne Angst vor Abhörungen führen." - "Which is why the rest of this Fähnlein's soldiers were drawn from commoners with poor grasp of Hightongue, Sophia. Precisely so we could have conversations regarding a mission this sensitive without fear of eavesdropping."
D4. "Ich … weiß nicht, wie wir diese Situation retten können, Lacan. Diese Ganoven sind jetzt wahrscheinlich tief im Mysteriösen Ort und die Dyade wird in den Klauen dieser Wilden im Inneren sicherlich in Gefahr sein." - "I… just don't know how we can salvage this situation, Lacan. Those Outlaws are likely deep within the dungeon by now and the Dyad will surely be in danger in the clutches of those Wilders inside."
D5. "Was Angelegenheiten betrifft, die zwischen uns sollten, zeigte die Dyade kurz vor ihrer Flucht Anzeichen eines Wiedererwachens. Bei so viel Kummer, den sie uns bereitet, sollten wir davon ausgehen, dass sie stark genug geworden ist, um durch den Großurwald und in Sicherheit zu gelangen." - "As for matters that should remain between us, the Dyad was exhibiting signs of reawakening soon prior to her escape. With how much grief she's given us, we should anticipate that she's become strong enough to make it through Primordial Woods to safety."
D6. "Kann man überhaupt davon ausgehen, dass sie immer noch eine Dyade sein wird, wenn sie am anderen Ende auftaucht? Wenn sie wieder erwachte, bevor sie an die Frontlinie gebracht werden kann…" - "Is it even safe to assume that she will still be a Dyad when she emerges from the other end? If she reawakened before she could be moved into place onto the front lines…"
D7. "Zu der Zeit, als wir sie verloren haben, war nicht bekannt, dass sie ihre ganze Macht offenbarte. Ich möchte nicht annehmen, dass wir einen großen Spielraum für Fehler haben, aber die Situation ist noch nicht so kritisch, dass dies Anlass zur Sorge geben würde." - "She was not known to manifest her full range of power at the time we lost her. I don't mean to presume that we have a large margin for error, but things have not yet reached as critical a situation for that to be a concern."
Teaser Text:
Our world is one that even centuries after the absence of humans, continues to be characterized by the imprints left behind. Their surviving works litter the surface of Wander, and so too its Mystery Dungeons. Among them, Primordial Woodsᵃ stands unique among its counterparts in the land of Varhyde.
While most Mystery Dungeons that have absorbed human ruins may produce chunks of bygone buildings and structures amongst their floors, the Wilders that dwell in and among the warming effects of this place are said to have been first brought to these ruins by human intervention. Some say that the ruins there swallowed up by the Distortion were a place where the ancestors of those that dwell there in the present day were brought back from the grave.
Whatever the truth behind such stories, an Explorer in Primordial Woods must exercise great caution. It is a place with tales from myth-shrouded ages alleging that the forebears of the Pokémon that presently dwell there crippled armies that attempted to make passage through it. After seeing the Wilders that call this jungle home, one could be forgiven for taking such stories at face value. The Pokémon of this place are ancient creatures that grow strong and to towering heights with fierce dispositions, especially when their internal rhythms become unsettled.
If the humans that created this place really did bring such creatures to life, one can only imagine that whatever their motivations in the past, that they would fall silent after seeing the maze of dangers and terrors that it became.
- Excerpt from 'The Explorer's Handbook to Mystery Dungeons'
a. This name is flatly different from the one given in Hightongue. A more proper translation would be "Great Jungle" or "Great Primeval Forest".
Helllooooooooo I thought I'd do my next chapter review on Thousand Roads for a change :). I'm reviewing chapter 3, Collision.
Putting my review in spoilers just in case.
The first thing I noticed coming back is just how distracting all the German words were. I may not have grilled you hard enough about the whole thing :X.
I think you're intending the German words to give a bit of immersion to the world. But language makes worlds more immersive because they show how the inhabitants view the world or various topics. There is no immersion to be gained when the German words are just 1-to-1 of English words with no context added. Some words do this - the word for November and corpse gatherer thing, for example - but most don't. And needing to either skip over the word or skip to the bottom on some platforms (I read this on FFN) shatter flowing and pacing in a way other narratives could accomplish, given the audience has to LITERALLY pull themselves out of the reading.
The best solution may be to trim down how many German words you feature to the only ones that need an explanation (or be more inventive about what expressions the world uses for things), and then shift the meaning of the words into the narrative itself. You'd have to be delicate with rewording to keep tone and pacing and make it relevant to the prose and if it's not possible, then it means the German word has zero purpose and should be replaced with English. After all, it's breaking the flow to read the explanation as a footnote as it is now.
And Axew referring to herself as "Axew" and then her German name made no sense and really shattered my suspense of disbelief. I thought they'd been speaking German the entire time.
If it was a book maybe you can get away with footnote annotations but we can't flick our eyes to the bottom of a page.
I hope you forgive the grilling, I'm doing this because I'm your friend! Gonna talk about the chapter itself now.
I think you have a good sense of plot and structure. I find a lot of PMD fan fiction get distracted from the big picture, and by most chapter 3-5 or so, I start wondering if there actually is a story other than the protagonist getting adjusted to the Pokemon world/guild life. Prologue, bam, the problem the protagonist needs to solve. Then stuff happens. It leads right into this chapter where I feel like there's a lot of potential to explore but a clear sense that there is something bigger going on and Lyle is involved in it. Seriously, you got a story in your story, I'm so grateful.
This is something I noticed in previous chapters and should have mentioned earlier but I'll say it now. I feel like you're writing the side characters (and even some main characters) to fit an archetypical notion of "outlaws". They're sounding tough and cool but I find their actions don't make sense because of it. As a specific example, someone teased Irune with her bag, saying "we don't trust you yet". If they were a threat, it wouldn't make sense to keep her bag from her - she should be threatening her life instead. Anyways, Irune talked. Everybody believes she's lying, yet the Pokemon gives her bag back, despite her kinda inadvertedly showing she's untrustworthy?!?
I also find this goes for dialogue. I feel like a lot of Pokemon are trying to speak as thieves and hardened outlaws and not as individuals. I don't have any proof though :X
I'm also kinda surprised they were pretty alarmed by the Togedamaru kidnapping because that brought a lot of heat. Given how you set up your world, I'm surprised that people in power value their lives more than the treasure itself. Not that this is really an issue though ;)
Also, the Anvil scene was pretty good. Enough of him was set up that it'd be a bit heartbreaking that he was left behind, and it makes sense to give a sense of Lyle being in all-new danger due to the Axew and whatever conspiracy is behind her. That being said, so much happened in the chapter that the scene felt dragged out and it was hard to stay immersed in the emotion. There was a point where I stopped - around where it mentioned Lyle's throat lump - and wondered "how does so much stuff happen in the time Arvil gets left behind". So much detail and specific events and character interactions got described that it all got blurry to me. After all, the chapter is 9k words long and only describes a feast and a raid. I think the story would benefit from less is more: streamlining the actual events so less is actually needed to be said so what is said is having more of a punch and impression.
Lastly, I have a guilty pleasure for dark stories, and I think this story is satisfying that. Salamence biting down on the Staraptor's wing was awesome!
Well, I don't know if it'll cover that much German to be an effective surrogate for a class, but I did make a point of working with a L1 speaker to make sure that the German content was as well-formed and natural as possible.
Prologue
This is a very small thing, but I really like the imagery here, especially the orange/blue contrast. Like,,,,, that’s the best complementary color scheme, imo. Something about it just works so well.
Yeah, it's very deliberately meant to be for a length of time long enough that Pokémon would start getting hazy memory-wise over how on earth this all started. If I make any retcons for the background war's timeframe at some point, it's gonna be to add years to its duration.
I think it should be “should have”? Maybe. “Should” sounds present tense-y and “should have” is more past tense-y.
You're actually not the first to make that joke, but I admittedly chose Alvin's name more with its semantic meaning in mind. Make what you will of that.
Dumb question maybe but does Foehn rhyme with own or Hoenn.
Neither of the two, actually. It sounds like "feign".
The setup for this story is really strong. We have a former Outlaw caught in financial distress with the backdrop of a useless war. This isn’t a plot-useless it’s more a “Torchic is anti war” useless coupled with a “this war is making things worse for everyone” useless. And then an old friend from Lyle’s past offers one last hurrah in his past life (or more maybe?) I’m excited to see how this heist plays out.
There were a few moments where I tripped on the prose, but it was mostly very atmospheric and set the tone and built the world really well. Your characterization is also very strong. Every character is a stand out to me.
I shall slowly but surely read through this. Just you wait.
Well I'm glad to hear that the Prologue was such a hit for you, since I've always considered characterization and worldbuilding to be some of my stronger suits as a writer. I'll be looking forward to that feedback whenever you get around to it. ^^
The first thing I noticed coming back is just how distracting all the German words were. I may not have grilled you hard enough about the whole thing :X.
I think you're intending the German words to give a bit of immersion to the world. But language makes worlds more immersive because they show how the inhabitants view the world or various topics. There is no immersion to be gained when the German words are just 1-to-1 of English words with no context added. Some words do this - the word for November and corpse gatherer thing, for example - but most don't. And needing to either skip over the word or skip to the bottom on some platforms (I read this on FFN) shatter flowing and pacing in a way other narratives could accomplish, given the audience has to LITERALLY pull themselves out of the reading.
Yeeeeeeeah, I made some attempts to give context hints for those bits of terminology. Sounds like I have some spots here and there where I need to go back and give more of a hint there for the non TR/AO3 audience.
The best solution may be to trim down how many German words you feature to the only ones that need an explanation (or be more inventive about what expressions the world uses for things), and then shift the meaning of the words into the narrative itself. You'd have to be delicate with rewording to keep tone and pacing and make it relevant to the prose and if it's not possible, then it means the German word has zero purpose and should be replaced with English. After all, it's breaking the flow to read the explanation as a footnote as it is now.
I'll put some thoughts as to what I want to do here, but I've actually been making an attempt at meaning shifting into the narration for German usages thus far. If you feel there's a spot that isn't doing the job well enough, feel free to point them out since that way I can make an attempt at resolving them.
Though when in doubt, just read things in natural order, since some of the German content isn't meant to be reflexively understood the moment it pops up unless you happen to know German.
And Axew referring to herself as "Axew" and then her German name made no sense and really shattered my suspense of disbelief. I thought they'd been speaking German the entire time.
Nope. They are speaking a daughter language to "German", or more accurately a Pokémon language rendered in English that is the daughter of one rendered in German that they know as 'Hightongue'. That language is called Commontongue, and bits of Hightongue leak into everyday speech as an artifact of the local culture and history.
That's admittedly a bigger part of the setting worldbuilding, so I might need to go back at some point in the future to make sure that's getting beaten across the readers' heads harder such that it's not ambiguous.
If it was a book maybe you can get away with footnote annotations but we can't flick our eyes to the bottom of a page.
Yeah, that's the point of the hovertext on the TR and AO3 versions, and why they're the ones I reflexively recommend to readers. Not sure what can be done for the FFN and other versions, but I'm always open to suggestions.
I hope you forgive the grilling, I'm doing this because I'm your friend! Gonna talk about the chapter itself now.
Nah, it's fine. I'd rather get honest criticism than dishonest praise, and not all of the stylistic choices I make will sit well with every reader.
I am curious as to if these issues would be as jarring to you in the TR and AO3 versions, though. It might be something worth trying out for a future chapter here or there, since it could give me a better idea about the sorts of things that work and the ones that don't.
I think you have a good sense of plot and structure. I find a lot of PMD fan fiction get distracted from the big picture, and by most chapter 3-5 or so, I start wondering if there actually is a story other than the protagonist getting adjusted to the Pokemon world/guild life. Prologue, bam, the problem the protagonist needs to solve. Then stuff happens. It leads right into this chapter where I feel like there's a lot of potential to explore but a clear sense that there is something bigger going on and Lyle is involved in it. Seriously, you got a story in your story, I'm so grateful.
This is something I noticed in previous chapters and should have mentioned earlier but I'll say it now. I feel like you're writing the side characters (and even some main characters) to fit an archetypical notion of "outlaws". They're sounding tough and cool but I find their actions don't make sense because of it. As a specific example, someone teased Irune with her bag, saying "we don't trust you yet". If they were a threat, it wouldn't make sense to keep her bag from her - she should be threatening her life instead. Anyways, Irune talked. Everybody believes she's lying, yet the Pokemon gives her bag back, despite her kinda inadvertedly showing she's untrustworthy?!?
I also find this goes for dialogue. I feel like a lot of Pokemon are trying to speak as thieves and hardened outlaws and not as individuals. I don't have any proof though :X
Yeah, that wasn't really intentional. I will say that banditry does place a premium on making sure that you're not seen as weak and rollable, so that would logically impact the dialogue that would pop up. Also, most of those side characters get run over in short order, so admittedly I might have phoned it in a bit on some of them. ^^;
I'm also kinda surprised they were pretty alarmed by the Togedamaru kidnapping because that brought a lot of heat. Given how you set up your world, I'm surprised that people in power value their lives more than the treasure itself. Not that this is really an issue though ;)
Part of being a criminal is knowing what you can reasonably get away with or escape from, Parker and Myra went in expecting an in and out for loot that wouldn't move the needle enough to get them actively hounded by law enforcement. Same deal as bank robbers freaking out when someone on the team casually blows away the teller.
Granted, that was a bit of a moot point given what they stole, since they were pretty hosed even without Ford bringing the extra heat down on them.
Also, the Anvil scene was pretty good. Enough of him was set up that it'd be a bit heartbreaking that he was left behind, and it makes sense to give a sense of Lyle being in all-new danger due to the Axew and whatever conspiracy is behind her. That being said, so much happened in the chapter that the scene felt dragged out and it was hard to stay immersed in the emotion. There was a point where I stopped - around where it mentioned Lyle's throat lump - and wondered "how does so much stuff happen in the time Arvil gets left behind". So much detail and specific events and character interactions got described that it all got blurry to me. After all, the chapter is 9k words long and only describes a feast and a raid. I think the story would benefit from less is more: streamlining the actual events so less is actually needed to be said so what is said is having more of a punch and impression.
A bit unfortunate to hear that the length wound up dragging things down a bit, though I suppose that's something I'll need to keep in mind for future chapters.
Lastly, I have a guilty pleasure for dark stories, and I think this story is satisfying that. Salamence biting down on the Staraptor's wing was awesome!
Yeah, that's an artifact of this story's sources of inspiration, since they're fairly (in)famous for "dark for their rating" narratives. Glad to hear that it's coming through.
Thanks for the feedback, everyone, and for your patience waiting on this month's update. We left off on a bit of a tense note both from the surroundings and between Team Forager's members last time, so why don't we check in and see how they're all doing right about now?
Es wird gesagt, dass die Menschen, als sie auf der Erde lebten, Kreaturen waren, die nach Wissen suchten. Sowohl als Mittel zur persönlichen Erleuchtung als auch zur Information über ständig fortschreitende Errungenschaften und Heldentaten. Sie erschufen Türme und Bauwerke, die unsere Ingenieurskunst nicht nachbilden konnte, und erschufen komplizierte Maschinen und Geräte mit Funktionen, die fast wie Magie wirkten.
Leistungen und Heldentaten, auf die viele von ihnen stolz waren. Genug damit, dass Klaus der Erbauer die Menschen in dessen damaliger Welt mit hochmütigen Worten wie "Einst war ein solches Wunder Göttern vorbehalten," prahlen hörte. "Aber heute geht die Menschheit einen Schritt auf das Göttliche zu!", als sie ihre großartigen Werke betrachteten.
Und dann, während des schicksalhaften Jahres, welches den Beginn unserer Ära markierte, kam der Glühende Blitz während der Mittsommertage von Heumond. In einem Augenblick hat es unsere Welt umgestaltet und dabei unzählige, noch unbekannte Wunder und das Wissen, sie im Handumdrehen neu zu erschaffen, weggefegt.
Als Pokémon in den folgenden Jahren versuchten, die Scherben aufzusammeln, soll sich der Erbauer Sorgen um einiges Wissen gemacht haben, das Pokémon bewahren wollte. Dass die Dämmerung der Menschheit von großer Hybris und Zwietracht geprägt war, auch unter denen, die einst die Macht hatten, das Schicksal der Menschheit zu ändern.
Er bestand darauf, dass ein Teil des Wissens am besten mit der Menschheit verblassen sollte, und er befürchtete, dass wir als Erben dieser Welt die gleichen Fehler erben würden, die dazu führten, dass die Menschen von der Teilung unserer Welt überrascht würden. Was dieses Wissen, das er so fürchtete, ist mit der Zeit verloren gegangen und kann nur erraten werden: Einige vermuten, dass es mit jenem strahlenden Glanz zusammenhängen könnte, der Wunsch und Wirklichkeit in dieser Welt zum ersten Mal in den Krieg gezogen hat.
Andere sagen, dass sich der Erbauer mehr Sorgen um die Denkweise von Pokémon wie uns gemacht hat. Dass wir, wenn wir uns zu sehr an die Lebensweise der Menschen klammern, dazu verdammt wären, ihre Fehler zu wiederholen. So ernüchternd die Prämisse auch ist, beim Blick auf die Geschichte unserer Zivilisationen kommt man nicht umhin, sich zu fragen, ob seine Befürchtungen gerechtfertigt waren.
- Auszug aus »Die Wahrheiter Chroniken – Eine kurze Geschichte der frühen Jahre unseres Königreichs«
The next six floors after the Monster House went in a tangled blur of towering trees and paths and chambers wedged amongst nigh-impenetrable undergrowth. True to the stories, Primordial Woods' Wilders really were strange types. Most were little runts, but occasionally Lyle and the rest of Team Forager would run into bigger and stronger Pokémon like an Armaldo and a Bastiodon, with even a Kabutops making an appearance after emerging from a stream.
As with the Tyrantrum and Aurorus, such Wilders weren't as strong as their imposing appearances made them look. But with each passing floor, the gap between perception and reality shrank further and further. By the time they'd made it to past the fifth floor down from their ambush, when they encountered an Aerodactyl, they opted to just lob a Stun Seed and hurriedly leg it away from the creature. With how quickly the Wilders they'd been encountering had been toughening up, they were not particularly eager to see how his strength compared to the Aerodactyl they'd fought from the caravan raid.
On the sixth floor down, under the shade of cascading falls that fell overhead from right to left into a seemingly endless abyss, Dalton chanced to spot a Pocket where they found a carved message from a prior traveler that marked it as the seventeenth floor of the dungeon as a whole. A quick consultation with their abridged copy of The Explorer's Handbook to Mystery Dungeons revealed that, much to their relief, they were but a few floors away from where a Link to Raptor Rock that connected the two Mystery Dungeons in spite of their vast distances apart from each other in the outside world was known to appear. A state of affairs which matched up with the guidance the Cranidos provided.
There were some things from the handbook that gave them pause, such as a worrying description of the Wilders that dwelled in Primordial Woods, as was a mention that some of the exits from Raptor Rock itself were within a day's journey of Newangle City. In spite of it, just knowing that there was an escape in sight from this miserable, damp weather was enough to lift Lyle's spirits somewhat.
"Let's try searching to the east. We've searched the entire western side of this floor, and I doubt we're going to find any more of a lead to the next set of stairs here."
Lyle blinked back to attention as Dalton pointed down a dirt path that headed off between one side lined with dense undergrowth, and fragments of a wall formed of what looked like concrete with pieces of rusted metal poking out along the top in parts. The Quilava waited for Dalton and Kate to set off, and followed after with Irune trailing behind him.
All the while, a lingering cloud seemed to hover over the group from the Axew's earlier outburst. Lyle supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised that Irune wouldn't have been cut from the same cloth as him, but something about her comments stung more than he expected. As he made his way forward trodding the damp earth underfoot, he cast a glance back at the Dragon-type from the corner of his eye, and noted that her gaze seemed to have drifted towards the ground below.
"Something the matter? You haven't said anything since that Monster House earlier," Lyle remarked. "You didn't exactly strike me as the quiet type."
Irune gave no answer for a brief moment, before turning up her gaze with a quiet scowl.
"Hrmph, we're in a Mystery Dungeon," she scoffed back. "The more noise we make, the more we'll give our position away to the Wilders that live here."
Lyle narrowed his eyes and flattened his ears out. However much the Axew was genuinely concerned about attracting Wilders, she obviously wasn't worried enough to not give that snippy retort.
"I think that our footsteps are making about as much of a racket," the Quilava harrumphed. "Besides, there was something that I wanted to know…"
"What?"
Lyle stopped, turning around and rearing up onto his hindquarters as Irune paused behind him. He folded his arms and looked down at the Axew, peering into her red eyes with a stern frown.
"Why us? There's a bunch of Pokémon out there in the world who could've helped you get out to the Divine Roost," he asked. "You obviously don't like being around us, so why didn't you ditch us back in Moonturn Square?"
Lyle waited for a reply as Irune stared back wordlessly. There was a brief, awkward silence between the two, before the Dragon-type shook her head and let out a quiet grumble.
"You don't have to like someone in order to work with them," she said. "You three were there, you all had the skills that I need for traveling partners, and I know how to get to the treasure that you want. Our interests just happened to align and we all didn't have other options."
Lyle honestly wasn't sure what to make of this kid. With how judgmental she'd been towards them, he was pretty sure she wasn't an Outlaw. At the same time, she sure knew a thing or two about keeping a 'mon at arm's length.
The Quilava frowned and let out a small huff in reply, before he turned back for his teammates and darted forward to try and make up for lost progress. When he and Irune caught up, they found that the lot of them had gathered in a chamber lined by a deep pool on their right, with two passages that branched off on opposite sides of a set of concrete pylons: one going forward, and one that turned off to their left.
Dalton eyed the pool and noted a narrow path that ran along its length towards the east, the Heliolisk taking a moment to brace himself before running at the water. Much to Lyle's astonishment, the lizard managed to run along the top of the water's surface for about half the length of the pool, before sinking into it and swimming the rest of the way over. Clearly the 'mon was a better fit for a band of river raiders than he'd given him credit for.
The Heliolisk pulled himself out of the pool, before he turned left and slipped out of view behind trees and ferns following a hidden path. After a few moments, the sound of dripping footsteps rang out, as Lyle, Kate, and Irune looked ahead to see Dalton approaching them from further down the forward path ahead of them, shaking his head.
"Alles klar.₁ This path's a straight shot, if a roundabout one," Dalton said. "It winds around past this patch of undergrowth here until it turns back towards the pond."
"Well, it narrows down our options at least," Irune grunted. "Though are we better off seeing what lies further down that path you found, or trying the left one?"
Lyle opened his mouth to answer, when he felt a sharp thump and watched as the nearby plants shook. His vents came alight with a start, the stoat feeling his muscles tense up as he turned warily to his teammates.
"What was that?"
Another thump shook the ground, and then another, and another. Kate flared her ears, when she turned towards the left entrance and listened in, before pinning them back and looking at her teammates with a tense grimace.
"Quick, go down the passage Dalton's in!" the Sneasel hissed. "Someone's coming from the left, and they don't exactly sound like bulliable runts!"
Lyle needed no further encouragement and scampered ahead on all fours after the Sneasel with Irune at his heels. The three hurriedly ducked down the path Dalton came from and tucked themselves up against a small, overgrown mound of concrete. The Fire-type looked back and felt his blood run cold as an Archeops and a Rampardos entered the chamber. He sucked in a sharp breath and hurriedly smothered his body's fire as he and his fellows went silent, just in time to see the two Rock-types warily eye their surroundings before turning to each other with sullen frowns.
"So why has everyone been in such a terrible mood today?" the Rampardos grumbled.
It's the lower levels," the Archeops harrumphed. "They've been in a panic since the Grazers haven't been bringing in enough berries as tribute to please Rankar."
Lyle twitched his ears and blinked at the Archeops' reply. "Tribute"? Wilders offered that to each other? That was the sort of thing that kings among Civils demanded of Pokémon who were their vassals. Conquered ones, at that.
"Still? Hasn't that useless glutton had his fill yet?" the Rampardos growled. "The hunting grounds outside have become increasingly barren ever since he developed that sweet tooth of his and even the Grazers are starting to complain about there not being enough food to forage! How could he possibly want more?"
Team Forager's members blinked from their hiding place, Kate giving a puzzled tilt of her ear as Lyle saw her glance over with a puzzled frown.
"Wait, are we listening to Wilders here?" Kate asked. "Or a pair of asshole nobles-?"
Lyle quietly shushed the Sneasel back and motioned for silence, as the Quilava and his companions continued to eavesdrop on the Wilders. The Archeops in the clearing ruffled his feathers briefly, before replying to the Rampardos with a low huff.
"Hrmph, well it sure seems like that old fossil is dead set on going out tearing apart this Mystery Dungeon and the alliances that have held its Pokemon together since time immemorial," the bird scoffed. "Though perhaps there's an opportunity amidst this madness for Pokémon like us…"
The Rampardos hesitated a moment, glancing about warily before he continued on in a low voice.
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is all of the stub-arms left in this dungeon are either a bunch of unevolved runts, or have evolved early and weak from the Distortion's influence. After the way Rankar forced out the last High Chief, everyone else would be relieved to have a change of leadership," the Archeops explained. "Once he's gone, it'd be easy for the Chiefs of the other kinds of Pokémon like you or me to fill his place. Why simply backing off the Grazers' food and toning down the threats would get a good chunk of them on our side!"
The Archeops tented his wings, before shooting a knowing smirk at his counterpart.
"And if the stub-arms have an issue with it…" the bird mused. "Well, after Rankar's rule as High Chief, there'd be no shortage of the others inclined to banish the lot of them and let them try their fates outside these woods."
"You're getting ahead of yourself there, Rankar first needs to be dealt with first," the Rampardos harrumphed. "All of the old tricks that've been tried won't work on him. The 'mon holes up in his den and doesn't so much as eat without making someone else taste his food first!"
The Outlaws traded wary looks with one another, as Dalton shuffled his feet uneasily. From the mention of a 'High Chief' and the way the two Wilders were being so furtive, it was evident they were talking of some sort of leader of theirs. And more specifically how to dispose of him.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think we were overhearing members of the Hofstaat₂ scheming against King Siegmund with talk like that," the Heliolisk murmured.
"Look," Irune whispered back. "Let's just turn around and try and find another way-"
The Archeops frowned back and looked out over the pool with a grumbling shake of his head.
"There must be a faster way… there has to be," the bird muttered.
"Wait," the Rampardos said.
All of a sudden, the Rampardos paused and raised his head, the dinosaur tensing up with narrowed eyes as he sniffed at the air.
"… I smell smoke," the Rampardos said. "Smoke like a fire was just burning here."
Lyle felt the color drain from his face and turned to see his teammates glancing at him wide-eyed. He hadn't thought the scent of his body's fire would've lingered that long, but whatever had stuck around on his pelt was enough for the Archeops to already make his way down the corridor in search. The four Outlaws hastily ducked back around the corner and darted for the path passing the pool, when they heard a sharp cry and turned to see the Archeops flying over its waters with bared teeth.
"Ah! There's Invaders here!" the bird snarled. "Get them!"
Lyle froze as the Archeops barreled forward, screeching and flashing his clawed wings for a lunging slash. The Quilava yelped and hastily dug through his bag, his paws settling on a glassy sphere that he pulled out that a parting glimpse revealed to be a Luminous Orb.
It'd have to do right now.
"Close your eyes!"
The stoat dashed the Orb against the ground, exploding it into a hail of glass shards and a blinding light that leaked through his eyelids just as the Rampardos rounded the corner. As the flash dissipated, Lyle heard a pair of sharp yelps, and opened his eyes to see the Archeops struggling to stay airborne as the Rampardos cradled his face and complained about "My eyes!"
They could work with that, Lyle hurriedly whirled around to his teammates, crying out the one word that crossed his rattled mind.
"Run!"
Lyle lowered his head and bounded forward, throwing himself forward with a Quick Attack down the corridor that made the surrounding jungle blur around him. When his vision settled, he looked back, seeing his fellows from Team Forager running after him for dear life. They caught up after a short while, as the four followed the winding course of the corridor around the bends and turns of a thickly-vegetated path all as bloodcurdling roars and heavy thumps rang out behind them.
He supposed that was as clear a sign as any that those Wilders weren't going to be content with just running them off. Dalton was at the middle of the group, while Kate was at the rear and dragging Irune ran along. The whole time, the Axew stole frantic glances behind her. A quick glimpse by Lyle to see what she'd seen revealed the silhouette of the Rampardos just falling on a ruined wall behind them.
"I don't suppose any of you picked up on some sort of hint to where the stairs were, did you?!" the Axew panted. "That Rampardos is catching up with us fast!"
"Just keep running!" Dalton cried. "We haven't checked the eastern side yet, so it must be somewhere there!"
That was all the motivation Lyle needed. He bounded ahead, coming out into a chamber ringed with walls of shattered concrete just as the others caught up with him. One that a quick scan revealed was overgrown with trees and vines and paths that branched off in three directions. Instinctively, Kate started off for the path branching rightward when a loud screech sliced through the air. Lyle turned his head and at once, his eyes shrink to pins. There was the Archeops, flying at them with fangs bared for Kate and Irune.
"Gah!" Kate yelped. "Not that way!"
The Sneasel hastily breathed frigid breath over her claws and flung a spray of icy flechettes, stopping the Archeops briefly before bolting for the corridor opposite their entrance. Lyle spat a Smokescreen at the Archeops for good measure before he and Dalton hurried after their Sneasel teammate. Lyle ducked as the sound of stones crashing into tree trunks rang out behind him and splinters zipped past his ears. Probably something like a Rock Slide, which was a sign that the Archeops wouldn't be bogged down by that Smokescreen for long.
The Quilava began to feel a burning pit in his stomach as he hurried after Kate and Irune down their present corridor. Gottverdammt, hadn't they been chased around enough for one day?! It was then that he noticed Irune turn her head, and as he snapped back to attention, Lyle heard it himself: the sound of grinding and creaking stone.
"Ah! That noise!" Irune exclaimed. "It's coming from the north!"
Lyle blinked a moment, when he realized that the creaking and groaning sounded just like a set of stairs forming on the floor. Not far away, from the sound of it, and with nary a moment to spare!
…Then again, it could've just as easily been the sound of a set of stairs sealing, but it was the only lead they had to work with. And with that Archeops and Rampardos nipping at their heels…
"Paws crossed that that's a way out…" the Quilava muttered. "Though come on! It sounded close!"
Lyle and his teammates cast a glance northwards, and while it didn't have ruined walls blocking the way, the thick undergrowth and densely spaced trees would've made attempting to move through it a fool's errand even without the Archeops hot on their tails.
"Fat lot of good that's going to do us here when we can't go that way!" Kate cried.
"We've got a Tunnel Wand somewhere in the bag!" the Quilava cried. "Just hang in there and cover me for a moment!"
A loud hiss rang out as the Archeops finally caught up with them, snarling with his wings spread and ready for a lunge.
"Got you!"
"I think not!" Dalton cried.
Lyle flinched as a loud crackle followed by a sharp screech rang out, glancing over his shoulder briefly as Dalton just finished up a Thunderbolt that stunning the ancient bird. Lyle briefly glimpsed Kate following up with an Ice Shard and Irune whigging a Totter Seed at the Archeops when he hurriedly turned his attention back to his bag. The Quilava hastily rooted through his bag, feeling a stick that a quick glance revealed to be the white, branched form of a Surround Wand, then the crook of a Switcher Wand… Gottverdammt, didn't those Hunters have any Wands that would actually help them out here?!
At last, his paws felt a pick-like shape, and a wave of relief came over him as he pulled it out and saw that sure enough, it was the Tunnel Wand he'd seen earlier. With one last glassy nub at its end marking it had a final use left in it.
"Get ready to run!" he cried. "We're going to need to make this count!"
The Quilava reflexively brought the wand down and heard the glassy layer around it shatter, followed by the wood of the Wand splintering. In a flash, the roar of rending dirt and trees joined in as the air distorted in front of them. The undergrowth and foliage in front of them abruptly parted left and right much as if a giant wedge had plowed them aside, as a gouge of cleared dirt formed directly in front of them.
Lyle didn't wait for the dust to settle and charged down the clearing, turning back and calling after his teammates.
"There's our exit! Come on!"
The rest of Team Forager's members didn't bother to protest and hurriedly ducked down the newly-opened corridor. For a brief moment, Lyle saw the Archeops stumble past it in a daze, before his teammates' bodies cut the bird off from view. Kate's ears swiveled briefly from a sound on the wind, when her eyes suddenly lit up in realization.
"Ah! Those stairs are close!" she said. "Come on, let's find them and get out of here!"
Lyle bounded ahead and out into a clearing ringed by overgrown ruins. He flinched briefly from the sudden change in light, though before he could make sense of their surroundings, he suddenly felt stones dig into his pelt and heard his teammates cry out. Lyle rolled along the ground, coming to a winded, wheezing stop on his flank as he weakly got up to his feet and saw his teammates doing likewise from being freshly sprawled out. Lyle panted as fire poured out of his vents, when his blood ran cold after a low snarl rang out from further ahead.
"Going somewhere?!"
Lyle and his companions turned towards the voice and he watched the color drain from their faces… and supposed the same was happening to him from the chill coming over his body. There, right in front of them were the steps onto the next floor, along with the Wilder Rampardos from earlier standing square in the way with his head lowered and ready to charge.
"Well I think not," the Rampardos growled back. "Since the only thing you Invaders will be seeing is the backs of your eyelids after you keel over!"
How the hell had he beaten them here?! Lyle and his teammates stood dumbfounded for a brief moment as the ground shook and the Rampardos began to charge. After a moment to shake his head, Lyle braced himself, and threw himself forward as he heard Irune cry out in alarm behind him.
"Lyle! What are you-?!"
"Just follow my lead and get to the stairs!" he shouted.
They just had to make it down the stairs before either of the Wilders, and even if the Rampardos packed a punch, if Lyle could run circles around Parker, he was sure as hell he could do the same to this Wilder. The Quilava ran at the Rock-type as fire wreathed his body, clipping him with a Flame Charge before he hurriedly sprang away. The Rampardos stumbled back slightly, before lowering his head with a menacing growl.
"Was that supposed to hurt?" the Rampardos sneered. "Your fire barely singed me!"
The dinosaur let out a loud roar and plowed ahead with another running charge. The Rampardos was right, that Flame Charge really hadn't done much to him. But that wasn't what Lyle was counting on right there.
Lyle waited as the Rampardos dashed at him, steeling himself as the ground trembled and he could hear his teammates' cries indistinctly in the background. He briefly saw the dome of the Rampardos' head, and right as the Rock-type was about to bear down on him…
"Hup!"
He sprang out of the way. The Rampardos dashed past, Lyle watching the dinosaur's head ram empty air and the Rock-type's red eyes widen just as he slipped behind him. Fire danced on Lyle's vents and white-hot cinders built up in his mouth just as the Rampardos turned his head back and noticed him.
"Huh?!"
Lyle spewed out a cone of whitish cinders, which found its mark on the Rampardos' rump. The dinosaur stiffened up with a sharp yelp, glancing back to see a fresh, reddening burn spreading over his scales. As the Wilder locked eyes with him, Lyle felt his heart pounding, mixed with a flash of confidence. Enough so that he turned his back towards the Rampardos and flared out fire from his vents, looked over his shoulder with a taunting smirk.
"Bet that one really burned your ass!" the stoat jeered. "For someone who wants to be king of this dump, you sure are a bad shot!"
From the bellowing roar the Rampardos replied with, it'd gotten under the 'mon's hide. And that was exactly what he was counting on. Lyle darted aside and sprang back and forth on his toes as the Wilder stomped the ground, calling up large stones from the ground that abruptly sailed at him. Lyle dropped and rolled out of the way as the stones zipped overhead, missing his body by mere hairs.
The Quilava sucked in a sharp breath. A bit close, but nothing he couldn't manage. Lyle got back onto his feet and bobbed around on his toes, weaving around a second hail of rocks. A glimpse back at the Rampardos revealed he was visibly fuming, the dinosaur losing his patience and then attempting to charge him, which proved even easier to weave about.
Hah! This Wilder made Parker look like an Accelgor with how easy it was to dance around him. A flash of confidence came over Lyle's face, as he stuck his tongue out at the now huffing and puffing Rampardos opposite him.
"Is that really the best you can do?!" Lyle sneered. "Hope that 'High Chief Rankar' you were going on about earlier's a slow fart like you!"
The Rampardos visibly grit his teeth in reply and glared back daggers. Lyle supposed he would have done the same himself if he had to deal with a foe that kept bouncing and weaving about just a few hairs out of his grasp.
"Stay still and fight, you cowardly furry!" the dinosaur snarled. "You'll never defeat me by just running away!"
The Rampardos was right. Even the items in Lyle's satchel wouldn't have been likely to turn this matchup around in a one-on-one fight. Except there was something the dinosaur didn't know about this matchup that Lyle did…
"You're right, I won't beat ya," the Quilava said. "But I don't need to!"
Footfalls pattering against stone rang out as the Rampardos turned his head and went wide-eyed. That was the cue that the jig was up and it was time to run. Lyle glanced over his shoulder, glimpsing Dalton and Irune running up a set of steps and into an overhanging earthen ledge as Kate followed closely behind. The Rampardos let out an exasperated cry, which Lyle quickly cut off by blowing smoke in his face. He turned and bolted as the dinosaur broke into hacking coughs afterwards, bounding ahead for the stairs when a sharp screech rang out.
"Not so fast!"
It lasted all but a few moments. First came the sound of wingbeats, then came the crushing tackle into Lyle's right flank. Lyle squealed as agony shot through his body, tumbling along the ground as he struck something sharp and sprawled out. The Quilava gasped for air as his vision went muddy, when he glanced up and saw the Archeops above him, diving in.
Lyle curled up and forced fire out of his vents, screwing his eyes shut with a low whine as he braced for the Wilder's blow. Except it never came. A pained squawk rang out and Lyle cracked his eyes open just in time to see the Flying-type reel from an Icy Wind. The Quilava panted hoarsely, when his body suddenly lurched off the ground and he stumbled to his feet after a rough tug, coming face to face with a wide-eyed Kate.
"Lyle, hurry it up already!" the Sneasel cried. "The stairs are starting to seal up!"
Lyle tore off along with Kate, pain shooting through the right side of his body as he limped after his Sneasel teammate. The Quilava looked up and to his horror saw the stairs began to seal off with earth sliding along the overhang's ceiling with a gods-awful grinding noise, the Fire-type lowered his head and lunged forward with a dash that made his surroundings blur even more around him. Not a moment too soon from the way the Archeops and the Rampardos were bellowing behind him. The stoat staggered up the steps as they quaked and groaned underfoot, when he suddenly felt small clawtips dig into his forepaws. The Fire-type's eyes widened as he was pulled sharply forward just as flying rocks struck the steps behind, sending stone fragments and dirt flying before he pitched forward face-first into damp, dark earth.
Lyle lay there as his heart pounded and his head spun as the grinding racket continued in the background. He let out a weak groan at the back of his throat and looked over to see Irune staring back at him wide-eyed. Had- Had she been the one who pulled him up the steps?
The Quilava watched as Dalton and Kate ran up and stared off at the steps, and for a second, he flinched, thinking that the Wilders had successfully followed them up the steps. And then the grinding noise stopped with a quiet click, and the floor fell silent beyond the sound of their hoarse breathing.
Lyle blinked and looked at the spot the stairs had sealed themselves off from the floor below, still gasping for air as he saw what had once been a passage sealed by dirt and rock. B-Blauflamme, that was way too close…
"L-Lyle! Are you alright?!"
Lyle looked over to see Irune running up and pawing at him. The Axew's eyes were visibly wide and startled. Was… she worried about him? The Quilava Outlaw dismissed her reaction as merely just being shaken from a close call. He was sure she'd be right back to harping on the lot of them for being thieving scum before he knew it. Lyle shook his head and staggered up, trying to project confidence in his voice, only for it to come out as a wavering stammer.
"Y-Yeah, just got nicked a bit by that bird back- Nrgh!"
Lyle flinched as he felt a sharp pain flash through the right side of his body. The Quilava looking back and saw just past his forearm, there was an oozing streak under his pelt where he'd struck the concrete outcropping. Lyle's breaths quickened and he felt his fire come alive in a panic at the sight. G-Gods, how badly had he gotten hurt back there?!
"Easy, Lyle. I don't think it's as bad as it looks."
Dalton came up to the Fire-type and eyed the wound with a quiet grimace, before shaking his head with a low sigh.
"I suppose this was to be expected, but at least it's nothing we can't patch up for now," the Heliolisk sighed. "Hang on, I think that we've got some berries that'll be able to seal this cut."
A few minutes later, Dalton had finished mashing the third piece of a quartered Oran Berry just above the wound on Lyle's flank and letting the juices seep in. Even if the topical application of healing berries could be skipped in a pinch in favor of just scarfing them down, after how harrowing the past floor had been, none of Team Forager's members were in the mood to try and make Lyle walk things off until his body metabolized the berry.
Irune looked on worriedly as Lyle lay on his side and Dalton pulled the Oran wedge back to examine the cut. A quick glance over revealed that Lyle's wound seemed to have coagulated enough for the last wedge to be applied directly onto it. Everything had worked out in the end…
… so why was she feeling this guilty about things?
"Dig in your paws and brace yourself, Lyle," Dalton instructed. "This last part's going to sting a bit."
The three of them were Outlaws, bandit scum who preyed on the weak for their pay. A part of her told her she ought to have felt coldly indifferent to their plight. They plied a dangerous trade and the only reason why they were on common ground to begin with was because of Lacan and his Fähnlein.
Except, as she watched Lyle fight against curling up into a fiery ball by reflex, those thoughts rang increasingly hollow. The more she saw the three like this, the more it gave her an uncomfortable sense of deja vu.
And it made her think of others she'd let herself grow close to over the past year against her better judgment, and thoughts of what ultimately became of them. A sharp wince turned the Axew's attention back to Lyle and Dalton, just in time to see the Heliolisk pawing aside Oran-stained fur on Lyle's flank and pressing the final Oran wedge square into his wound. Irune cringed from her place on the side as the stoat audibly winced and fire danced from his vents with sharp flickers. She neared as Lyle panted from Dalton's treatment, focusing on the Quilava and then up at her other teammates with an alarmed stammer.
"Wh-Where did those two Wilders come from?!" the Axew cried. "We didn't run into any Pokémon that could do something like this on the earlier floors!"
"We've been going deeper into the Mystery Dungeon, it quite literally comes with the territory for just about any Mystery Dungeon," Dalton explained. "The Wilders that live in Mystery Dungeons like this usually like to make their homes in the Pockets further away from the entrance where they won't be disturbed. Their tougher members usually patrol closer to them to drive off would-be threats."
That… made a decent amount of sense, really. Irune herself had seen similar dynamics in other Mystery Dungeons over the past year, just… not anywhere as dramatic as this. Kate pinned her ears back at Dalton's reply and turned a sharp scowl over at Irune. The Axew braced herself as the Sneasel exhaled a puff of icy breath out and folded her with a sharp huff.
"Just saying, but that's something we could have known if we had someone to guide us," the Sneasel grumbled.
Irune raised her mouth to protest indignantly, only to fall quiet and let her gaze drift to the ground. She… still didn't think much of the idea of them recruiting the Cranidos, especially knowing what the odds were for this 'Team Forager' all making it to the Divine Roost. But even then, it was hard to argue that things would've gone worse without his help.
Had she been too rash in making her decision? Even if the odds for her present teammates weren't favorable… had her choices made things worse for them? Had they made them worse for herself?
No answer came to those questions for her as Dalton finished applying the last Oran wedge. The Quilava let out a quiet wince, before snatching the pulp of the spent quarter out of the lizard's hand with a low grumble as low, irked flames simmered on his head and tail.
"Ngah… Dalton, what on earth did you do to that cut?" the Quilava demanded. "Press salt into it?"
"Oran juice carries a sting when it's applied to damaged hide," the Heliolisk harrumphed back, folding his arms. "You didn't strike me as being new to Mystery Dungeons, Lyle. You of all Pokémon should know that."
Irune told herself that it didn't make sense to dwell on things too much. After what became of the Balance Bandits, it was probably for the best to keep her present teammates at arm's length. She turned her head as Lyle bit into the pulp of his berry wedge and warily gaped about her surroundings. There weren't any ruins on this floor, and the towering, unnaturally tall and thick trees blotting out the sky weren't something they'd seen on the last floor either.
Even so, time was a luxury with the likes of Lacan and his underlings hounding their tails, and the longer they spent in Primordial Woods, the more likely he or his underlings would catch up with them. From the looks of it, Kate had realized it too with the way she uneasily shuffled and pawed at her shoulders.
"So now what?" the Sneasel asked. "Are we supposed to just hop right back into delving and hope we don't draw the short stick for run-ins again?"
Irune noticed Lyle glance over at her from the corner of her eyes. She thought of speaking up and saying something, but let her eyes drift towards the ground. Wh-What was she supposed to say to him? That she should've kept her mouth shut after the Monster House? Thankfully, the stoat didn't linger long on her before looking over at Dalton, who brought a hand up to his chin in thought before speaking up.
"We should find a Pocket and rest for a while," the Heliolisk said.
At once, Irune jolted up and stared wide-eyed at the Electric-type. Lyle and Kate looked similarly alarmed right now. W-Was Dalton even listening to himself right now?! They hadn't gone that deep into the Mystery Dungeon since they first entered it!
"B-But we're just six floors from that exit the Cranidos told us about!" Irune spluttered. "If we linger here, Lacan will-!"
"Be highly unlikely to catch up with us without us knowing it," Dalton answered. "After how much trouble the local Wilders have been giving us, do you really think entire squads of soldiers are going to be able to just march through here without us hearing them getting into fights?"
Irune blinked a few times. Now that Dalton mentioned it, with how fiercely the local Wilders had defended their territory, and how big their stronger Pokémon were… would Lacan and his underlings have been able to cow the Wilders into backing down from them? It certainly didn't seem like a safe bet.
Irune paused in thought, before she heard Dalton's tail brush the ground, and looked up to see the Heliolisk frowning down at her.
"Look, you already made it clear that you're not exactly fond about working with us, but charging ahead with Lyle in this state isn't exactly a safe gamble," Dalton harrumphed. "We should at least give him time for the berry's healing effects to kick in before we continue on again in earnest."
Irune quietly bit her tongue. She knew she'd gotten pointed after the Monster House, but she didn't go so far that she'd scared her teammates off… had she? The Axew quietly grimaced and looked away, just as she heard Lyle sigh to her right. The stoat looked down at his now-treated wound, which still sported juice stains from the Oran Berry that had been applied, before shaking his head back.
"Sounds like music to my ears," he grumbled. "Let's just hurry up and find that Pocket. There's no sense in worrying about that treasure if we can't make it off this floor in one piece."
So they were still ready to work with her. Or at least until they made it to that treasure that awaited them in the Divine Roost.
One by one, Team Forager's members set off. Lyle opted to take the rear just after Irune this time. It was hard to blame him given how he surely wouldn't fare well if he stumbled headfirst into another skirmish. A part of Irune was quietly grateful that he'd done so. Even if it wasn't as noticeable in a jungle like this versus in more normal climates for this time of year, she could swear that the air felt ever so slightly warmer around him.
Somehow, it made a little part of her feel more at peace.
Irune followed along after her Heliolisk and Sneasel teammates, as quiet doubts began to swirl in her mind. Was… she doing the right thing? She knew she didn't have many choices, and even if she hadn't fully gathered what Lacan planned on using her for, it was surely for nothing good. But if her teammates fully knew what they were facing, would the Divine Roost's treasure still be enough to motivate them? She supposed she hadn't lied to them at any point about it, but…
Irune snapped back to attention after feeling something furry and warm prod at her back. The Axew turned her head, and saw Lyle frowning over at her.
"Hey, stay focused for now," he insisted. "We're not exactly in a safe place here."
No. Even if everything she'd been told about herself really was true, those three didn't need to know about it. And if she told them everything and they ran off from her afterwards, Lacan would likely just hunt them down for leads to her and then do gods-knew-what to them. They had shared interests at the moment, and until that was no longer the case, it made sense to stick together.
…Even if it made her uncomfortable. Even if it meant that the past repeated itself.
About twenty minutes later, Team Forager came across a vine-shrouded gap between the thick roots of a tree that towered unnaturally high up into the Distortion—enough so that for a second, Kate thought they'd found a cave entrance of some sort. There, the familiar presence of Dungeon Fog spilled out, tipping them off that they were approaching a space where the Distortion's effects ended and some manner of stability began.
One quick retrieval of her guiding string from her bag and a march through later, Kate and her teammates found themselves in the hollow of a giant tree that wrapped up a stony cave at its base, with the wood growing in on each other to form what looked like a solid wall ringing the entire space. That was as clear a sign as any that they were in a Pocket and not truly back out on the surface.
That didn't worry her. What did was the presence of large, three-toed footprints in the cave's earth, along with red scales, stray white feathers, and the broken remains of brown eggshells. It was a sign that the den in the Pocket they were in belonged to a Tyrantrum.
… Or at least it had at some point. None of them could catch the scent of any Pokémon that had been in the Pocket lately, and the feathers and scales similarly lacked odor—a sign they'd been shed some time ago. Faint gouges here and there in the den's stone and healed scars in the wood gave the impression that there'd been a fierce battle here once… one that made her doubt the Wilder Tyrantrum that once lived here would ever come back to claim this place again. That should've been the end of that line of curiosity and to let her rest easy like she was supposed to, but after overhearing that Rampardos and Archeops, something kept making her wonder just what on earth happened here.
Team Forager had kept shifts since then, taking turns posting one of their number in the foggy passage back out onto the floor before coming back and trading places. Kate's turn had ended some time ago, and it had mercifully been uneventful…
Pshhhh…
Aside from how it'd been pouring buckets since about five minutes after they arrived into their Pocket and how the trip in and out of their shelter had gotten her soaked. As the sound pricking her ears reminded her, those rains hadn't gone anywhere. The sound of cascading water and a faint drip on her snout prompted Kate to sit up and turn her head towards the cave entrance. That would explain why she was thinking about Wilders' affairs. It took her mind off of having to think about that.
Dalton said that book about Mystery Dungeons they'd stolen said something about this place having midday downpours as part of its local climate. They must've lucked out while going through the past few floors, since Kate could only imagine how miserable the experience would've been if they had to go through them drenched on top of everything else.
The Sneasel laid her head down and tried to close her eyes, when she noticed a dim glow of orange fire on the walls. She turned her head and saw Lyle curled up, staring at the ground as small flames flickered on his head and tail vents.
Kate got up and made her way over beside her Quilava teammate, giving him a quiet nudge at his shoulder with her claws.
"…Can't sleep?" she asked. "You are the one who needs rest the most, you know."
The Quilava looked up at her briefly with a small frown, before turning away with a grumbling huff.
"After everything that happened back at Waterhead Cave?" he grumbled. "Were you expecting me to?"
… She should've expected that, really. Losing friends on the job was something that stung even if you got used to it. Going two years out of practice and then coming back into the Outlaw life like that…
Kate thought to say something, only for the Quilava to turn away and slump his chin against his forepaws with a sullen grumble.
"I should never have agreed to go with you."
Kate stiffened up and at once narrowed her eyes down at the Quilava. Was he blaming her for the army raid? Kate folded her arms and scowled in reply. Lyle was supposed to be the grounded one between the two of them. Surely he'd know better than that.
"Oh come on, what's with that attitude?" the Sneasel demanded. "Weather getting to you-?"
Lyle got up and whirled about as his body's fire came to life. Kate watched as a harsh glare came over his face and his voice came out in a bitter huff.
"Kate, I'm stuck in the middle of this gottverdammten jungle!" he snapped. "I had to relive one of the worst nights of my life, and my best friend's getting shipped off to die in some field gods-knows-where across the sea!"
… He was definitely a different 'mon than Kate remembered from the Foehn Gang. Laughing and making jokes alongside Alvin and their friends. Adamantly insisting that it didn't matter if his family cut him loose so long as they were there at each other's backs.
She'd held out hope that that 'mon in him would come back out once he was in good company again. From the way he was shaking his head and looking away, she was starting to doubt that that part of him would ever return.
"Really, why did I expect anything different?" Lyle muttered. "Of course a 'mon from a cursed town would have my luck."
Kate blinked at the Quilava's remark. Right, Lyle was from Freeden Village. It was a place that supposedly had incurred the disfavor of the gods sometime at the end of the last war between Varhyde and Edialeigh before the current one. As a result of that, all sorts of stories had sprung up about that disfavor carrying over to Pokémon that hailed from there.
Except, she didn't put stock in that "curse" crap. And when he was in more normal moods, Lyle didn't either. Maybe he just needed a little reminder to snap him out of that mood of his.
"And would any of that have changed if you didn't come?" Kate demanded. "Do you really think the rest of us wouldn't have still run into that Graf and his goons?"
She watched as Lyle froze and blinked back at her. It was a bit sobering to think about it, but the more that she thought about it…
"Really, the only difference would've been that you'd still be stuck in that Oran field waiting to go hungry in the winter and wouldn't have known about any of that," the Sneasel scoffed. "Would you really be happier if you found out we got raided by the army a season later on an empty stomach?"
Kate trailed off and looked away, hanging her head.
"… There's a good chance none of us would've made it out of Waterhead Cave that night if that happened," she muttered. "You're the reason why we're not getting pushed into a penal unit with Alvin right now."
Lyle bit his lip and pinned his ears back as the fire died down from his vents. His face took on a regretful twinge as the Quilava audibly tripped over his words while trying to speak up in reply.
"Th-That's not what I was trying to say-"
"Yeah, I know," Kate sighed. "And I don't blame you for looking out for yourself. It's not as if I was expecting everything to play out the way it did."
Kate shuffled up against Lyle, giving him a small poke against his side with her claw. The Quilava squirmed and recoiled in discomfort briefly and shuffled back. Glad to see that trick still worked on him, at least.
"But we've got a chance to put this all behind us don't we?" Kate insisted. "So why not take it? It's what Alvin would've wanted."
Lyle hesitated briefly, before turning aside and glumly casting a glance off at the gray, stony walls of their den.
"Maybe, but it's not like the universe really gave a crap about what he wanted," he muttered.
"N-Ngh… no… stop…"
Kate and Lyle turned their heads at the sound of Irune murmuring. There, off in a corner atop a small pile of her "treasure", the Axew was stirring in her sleep and pawing at empty air. The Sneasel blinked, before trading looks with her Quilava partner.
"… Looks like you're not the only one who's been having trouble sleeping," Kate murmured.
A flash of worry seemed to cross Lyle's eyes briefly. It was a little strange he felt so bothered by the problems of a 'mon that didn't like them all that much, but Kate supposed this must've been hitting home for him a bit. Lyle shuffled up as Irune tossed and turned in her sleep, the stoat hesitating briefly before he put a paw out and prodded at her gently.
"Irune?"
Kate watched Irune's eyes shoot wide as the Axew abruptly jolted up, prompting Lyle to jump back with a start as his vents came alight. From the way she was gasping for air and visibly quivering, she must've had one hell of a nightmare.
… Kate supposed she could see why Lyle was getting a bit worried about her. Sorta. The Sneasel sidled over as the Axew looked up at her and her Quilava teammate and shot a wary frown down.
"You doing alright?" Kate asked. "You were thrashing about in your sleep."
Irune sucked in a few sharp breaths and let her eyes drift towards the ground. She got up and pawed at her shoulder. Kate waited for the Axew's reply, only for the Dragon-type to audibly hesitate and turn her glance to avoid making eye contact.
"I've… just been through a lot lately," the Axew replied. "It's kinda been getting to me."
"Story of our lives, really."
Kate's ears pricked up at the sound of wet footsteps and dripping water, where she saw Dalton entering the cave visibly drenched. The Heliolisk fanned out his frill briefly, stopping to brush some water off his scales as he walked up, only to stop and catch himself in front of Lyle.
"Oh, by the way, it slipped my mind earlier in between the chaos of us skipping town…" Dalton began.
The Heliolisk dug through his satchel and fetched out a cloth purse, dropping it in front of the Quilava with an audible clink. Kate blinked at the sight and Lyle seemed similarly at a loss before Dalton narrowed his eyes with a small sigh.
"It's your share of the loot from this morning. You didn't forget, did you?" he asked. "I was hoping to do this someplace in Toya Square, but now's probably as good a time and place as any."
Right, Dalton had held onto Lyle's share of their loot from last night as part of being trusted to handle the goods for Hermes. Kate noted to herself that she probably should have remembered that better given that she was the one who suggested Dalton do that in the first place.
Lyle eyed the purse and quietly pawed through its contents, counting under his breath. After a brief moment, he sealed it and stuffed it into his satchel. That was as good a sign as any that Dalton had been honest in his dealings. Even if it was cold comfort at the moment, at least they could take it for granted they could trust the 'mon. Probably, anyways.
Kate watched the cave briefly come aglow as Lyle stretched and a spurt of fire came from his vents. Looked like the rest in the cave had done him some good given that he wasn't moving as stiffly as when they stopped to patch him up earlier.
"…Thanks. Though what are you doing back so soon?" Lyle asked. "I thought that it was your turn to keep watch."
"There's no point right now," Dalton said, shaking his head. "The Dungeon Winds caught up with the entrance outside and are currently scouring the floor."
Right, that was a thing in Mystery Dungeons and why any Pokémon, Wilder or Civil, sought out Pockets if they were going to stay on one floor for any length of time. Every so often, the Distortion would shift and wipe floors clean so that way they could form anew, through howling winds that came along and blew away everything in their path into gods-knew-where else in its confines. Sometimes, a 'mon would get lucky and get dumped by such winds at an entrance, but more normally it meant getting thrown to some floor with no idea of where one was, much like if one fell into the Distortion from venturing too far off a path.
… Probably worse than that, since she'd heard stories of Pokémon who'd suffered both fates. Pokémon that fell through the Distortion usually were able to get up and tell the tale afterwards, there were definitely fewer who got swept up by those winds who could say the same. A 'mon would also need to contend with flying debris or getting blown into things, a recipe for disaster in just about any Mystery Dungeon, but in one with Wilders as aggressive as this one…
"Well, I suppose that's one way to tell us that we won't need to worry about Grünhäuter for a while," Kate murmured, shaking her head.
"Actually… that gets into the point that I was going to get at," Dalton replied. "Namely that we probably don't need to worry about Grünhäuter while we're in this Mystery Dungeon."
Kate blinked at Dalton's explanation, and noted Irune looking similarly surprised. The Axew tilted her head at the Electric-type, giving a wary frown in reply.
"What makes you so sure, Dalton?"
"Because Lacan's goons were in earshot when we entered and it's been half a day since then," the Electric-type answered.
… Had it really been that long? Kate knew that they'd gotten a run of good luck with the first few floors, but now that Scales mentioned it, it did seem a little suspicious that they hadn't even overheard the Wilders going on about 'Invaders'. One would think that a Fähnlein wouldn't exactly be subtle while barging through a Mystery Dungeon.
Even so, something about this wasn't adding up for Kate. Lyle seemed to think similarly, judging from the way that the Quilava was pinning his ears back and frowning.
"Not that I'm complaining, but why would that Salamence do that?" Lyle asked. "He's not exactly a pushover, and he wouldn't be able to get Irune any faster just sitting and waiting outside."
Irune suddenly blanched and her jaw flopped open. The Axew's eyes visibly shrank to pins, as she turned to her teammates and waved her arms in alarm.
"Th-That's exactly what he's doing right now! He's probably sent his soldiers to try and wait near the exits to ambush us!" Irune exclaimed. "It's not the first time that he's done that to me, either!"
… As counter-intuitive as it sounded at first, maybe Lacan really could get at Irune just by sitting and waiting outside. If he had some sort of book about Mystery Dungeons like them, he almost certainly knew that between the Wilders and the gods-awful weather, that this place was wearing them down. Then for all they knew, there wasn't a safe place to leave this gottverdammten hole.
Kate bit her lip and pinned her ears back, before looking over to her teammates.
"So just what are we supposed to do now?"
Dalton and Lyle both remained silent. The Heliolisk raised his voice to say something, only for him to trail off and quietly grimace. Whatever idea he'd had, he'd clearly realized it wouldn't work. Lyle was visibly on-edge as his vents were flickering with nervous fire, staring down at the cave floor with a blank expression much like if Lacan's soldiers had just barged into their Pocket.
A great sign for their odds, really. Curiously, Irune seemed to pause and catch herself. The Axew raised a claw to her mouth and mused a bit, before she looked back at the rest of them and murmured to herself.
"That Cranidos…" she said. "He said there was a Link to a 'place like this' four floors from here."
Kate thought back to the encounter with the Cranidos, and tried to keep herself from being too bitter over the way that Irune had blown up their chance at getting a guide out of this place. A starry-eyed kid like him full of fight would've done them a lot of good right now. If Irune was talking about what Kate thought the Axew was, the Cranidos had mentioned 'a passage that links to another place like this beyond the mist'. Kate turned her head over to Lyle, as a light seemed to go off in his eyes and he stiffened up.
"The copy of the handbook we've got did say there was a Link to Raptor Rock not far from where we were," Lyle mused. "That must be what he was talking about. But didn't we already know this? How's that change anything?"
"Wouldn't the exits from that Mystery Dungeon be harder for him to get to?" Irune asked. "It looked far away on the map in the handbook."
… Right, Raptor Rock was just barely visible over the horizon before they crashed on Hermes. A Fähnlein usually had around 400 'mons on it, and there weren't 400 'mons there back at the ambush. Even if Lacan knew about the way Primordial Woods and Raptor Rock linked with each other, he only had so many 'mons to go around, and it meant they had decent odds of beating his goons out of there. Or at least coming across a party that was small and likely winded enough from a long journey that they'd have better odds fighting their way past them.
Kate supposed the plan sounded like it could work on paper, but…
"Hold on just a minute. Raptor Rock's a day's journey from Newangle City!" Dalton protested. "Why would we want to be going there again when there's tons of soldiers garrisoned in the Royal Capital?!"
That actually wasn't the problem Kate was thinking of, but now Scales brought it up, that was another risk of trying to sneak out from there.
"Because we're having trouble holding up now, so we should logically try to get out of this Mystery Dungeon while we can?" Irune said. "Also, coming out onto the surface someplace away from Primordial Woods' normal exits isn't exactly a bad thing. It'd give us time to make ourselves scarce before Lacan could catch up or otherwise tip off the local Grünhäuter about us."
Kate admitted that that was a decent argument. After all, if Newangle City really was as treacherous for Outlaws as Dalton implied the other day, would Lacan really expect them to flee towards it? Surely that'd throw him off their trail at least for a little bit.
It was all fine and great, except it didn't take care of the problem the Sneasel had had with this idea all along.
"Yeah, but the Cranidos also made it sound like something was wrong with that exit."
A moment of tense silence hung in the den's air afterwards, and Kate noted that her teammates were trading worried looks. She initially hadn't thought much of the Cranidos' words, but after how much of a slog the past few floors had been, it didn't exactly inspire confidence about what could be going on with the entrance to that Link.
Lyle bit his lip and hesitated a moment, before shaking his head in reply and stepping forward.
"… We'll try and prepare for a fight beforehand and do what we can to dodge it," Lyle said. "We can try laying low in quieter places on the next floors until it gets later in the day. We'd be most likely to have smooth sailing towards the evening when the Wilders that are awake by day are starting to tire out and the ones that are awake by night are just starting to get up."
Kate opened her mouth to reflexively protest. Before she could get a word out, the Quilava spotted her and motioned for silence, before looking around at the others.
"… I know it's not a good option," the Fire-type murmured. "But if Irune's right about what Lacan's up to, I'm not sure if we have a whole lot of better ones."
Kate paused and inhaled sharply. She didn't like this idea, but it was hard to argue that Lyle didn't have a point. Between what would likely boil down to fighting their way through strong, angry Wilders and strong, angry Grünhäuter fresh from the army… it was hard to argue with a straight face that fighting the Wilders wasn't the lesser evil.
The Sneasel cast a glance over towards her teammates. Irune for obvious reasons had made her peace with the idea, while Dalton seemed visibly hesitant. The Heliolisk stared off towards the mouth of the cave, before shaking his head with a low sigh.
"It's as good a hope as any, though it'd be best not to pass up the Dungeon Winds on this floor," he said. "If we want to avoid the local Wilders leaving this place, we should set off out of this Pocket as soon as things settle down outside the fog."
…Wait, as in right now? Kate peeked out at the still-pouring rain outside and grimaced. She wasn't looking forward to getting drenched again. Irune seemed visibly uneasy about the idea herself, while Lyle was stiff and staring out blankly much as if Lacan himself had entered their pocket.
Kate watched her Quilava teammate pin his ears back as a disgusted shudder briefly went down his back. He turned over to Dalton and traded glances between him and the rain with an uneasy paw at the back of his head.
"… Dungeon Winds usually last a decent while, right?" the Quilava asked. "Let's… try to wait for the rain to settle down a bit more first before we go and check."
Yeah, that was an idea she could definitely get behind.
Author's Notes
Words and Phrases
1. Alles klar - "All clear"
2. Hofstaat - "court", in the sense of a sovereign's household or entourage.
Teaser Text
It is said that when humans walked the earth, they were creatures that sought out knowledge. Both as a means for personal enlightenment and to inform ever-advancing accomplishments and feats. They fashioned towers and structures beyond the ability of our engineering to replicate, and created intricate machines and devices with functionalities that seemed much like magic.
Accomplishments and feats that many of them grew proud of. Enough so that it is said that Klaus the Founder heard humans in the world-that-was boast with haughty words such as "Such a wonder was once reserved for gods. But today, humanity takes a step towards the divine!"ᵃ as they beheld their great works.
And then, during the fateful year that marked the beginning of our era, the Great Flash came during the midsummer days of Heumond. In an instant, it reshaped our world, and in the process, swept away untold wonders and the knowledge to recreate them in the twinkling of an eye.
As Pokémon attempted to pick up the pieces in the years that followed, it is said that the Founder worried over some of the knowledge that Pokémon strove to preserve. That the twilight of humanity had been marked with great hubris and dissension, including among those who once held the power to change humanity's fate.
He insisted that some knowledge was best left to fade with humanity, and he feared that we as inheritors of this world would inherit the same flaws that left humans to be caught unawares by our world's sundering. What that knowledge he so feared has been lost to time and can only be guessed at: some theorize it might relate to that radiant splendor which first drew Wish and Reality to war in this world.
Others say that the Founder worried more over the mindset of Pokémon like us. That by clinging too tightly to the ways of humans, we would be doomed to repeat their mistakes. As sobering as the premise is, when looking over the sweep of our civilizations' histories, one cannot help but wonder if his fears were justified.
- Excerpt from 'The Varhyder Chronicles - A Brief History of our Kingdom's Early Years'
a. This quote is delivered in two parts in the original German due to grammatical rules. The combined form here is a roughly equivalent gloss.
Quick impressions of German opening -- the disappearance of humans detailed there feels reminiscent of the Rapture. The Great Flash reminds me of the Big Bang, and of course the mention of multiple gods. It gives the legend an eclectic vibe, which I like. Also interesting that humans are associated with mediation and wisdom here, although that might just be due to reverence for a lost past. I imagine the non-mythologized version of humanity would come as quite a shock to many current-day Pokémon.
The first couple actual paragraphs are reminiscent of migrant workers. Unsure if intentional or not, but the parallel drawn does a good job informing us of the mundane drudgery of Lyle’s day-to-day job. It reminds me of that famous line from Gaskell’s North & South:
“Little bits, as fly off fro’ the cotton, when they’re carding it, and fill the air till it looks all fine white dust. They say it winds rounds the lungs, and tightens them up. Anyhow, there’s many a one as works in a carding-room, that falls into a waste, coughing and spitting blood, because they’re just poisoned by the fluff.”
In a similar vein, poisoned by berries, perhaps, eh? No wonder he returns to banditry.
My knowledge of overarching Fledglings lore is severely limited, but I vaguely recall a war being mentioned before. I like the Sisyphean nature of its description--the implication that it drags on and on with no end in sight. And the corruption that spreads like rot from it via figures such as Nils.
As expected, your worldbuilding is quite intricate. And it’s introduced in a manageable fashion, contextualized by Lyle’s interactions with others. Lyle himself comes across gruff and perhaps a bit flaky? Not sure. I’ll be curious to see how his reasons for leaving the group develop further. Kate and maybe Nils are the only other major characters introduced, and I’m not quite sure what to make of them yet. Kate seems snarky and competent. Nils seems odious but has a minor compassionate streak, given he left one of his other marks alone due to her family struggles.
We end with an agreement for a one-off job. I do enjoy a good heist story. Will try to check out more.
Random Prose Musings:
For word choice, sometimes your denotation is correct, but the connotation is slightly off. An example:
The Quilava gaped about his surroundings on the way over, seeing other Pokémon in similar garb still at work trying to glean the last stray Oran Berries off bushes with leaves that had long since turned red with the seasons—a sign that they'd be the last crop to be picked from them until winter.
The word ‘gaped’ is technically correct, but implies a sense of shock or wonder. But the rest of the paragraph instead implies it’s just another day on the job. That we follow this up with ‘trudging’ further emphasizes the mundanity of it all.
Extraneous details are inserted that disrupt sentence flow.
Among the figures scurrying about was a tired-looking Quilava with a plain orange scarf tied about his neck, who paused to set down a basket that he lugged in his forepaws and dropped to all fours for a moment to catch his breath.
Yes, I know scarves matter quite a lot in this universe. But it has no relevance to the subject of the sentence and just artificially lengthens it, so that it reads clunky and overlong. Have him use the scarf to shade his eyes from the sun or something instead. Regardless, it should be moved somewhere else.
I liked the imagery of Oran berries turning red with the seasons, as well as the sod shack with luminous moss.
Always appreciate a good footnote or two, and this has those in abundance.
Some of the epithets felt a touch unnecessary or had ‘grabbed a thesaurus to swap out words’ energy. Such as:
The weigher tilted his head and gave a sharp scowl in response, curling his mouthparts into an unimpressed frown back at the stoat in the orange scarf.
They’re the only two characters in the scene, I can infer who Crustle is frowning at. Everything after frown could be cut out. Even then, just referred to Lyle as the Quilava--or even better, his name--like almost everywhere else.
And that about covers my main points. Thanks for sharing, have a poem for your troubles:
To loosen with all ten fingers held wide and limber
And lift up a patch, dark-green, the kind for lining cemetery baskets,
Thick and cushiony, like an old-fashioned doormat,
The crumbling small hollow sticks on the underside mixed with roots,
And wintergreen berries and leaves still stuck to the top, —
That was moss-gathering.
But something always went out of me when I dug loose those carpets
Of green, or plunged to my elbows in the spongy yellowish moss of the marshes:
And afterwards I always felt mean, jogging back over the logging road,
As if I had broken the natural order of things in that swampland;
Disturbed some rhythm, old and of vast importance,
By pulling off flesh from the living planet;
As if I had committed, against the whole scheme of life, a desecration.
Quick impressions of German opening -- the disappearance of humans detailed there feels reminiscent of the Rapture. The Great Flash reminds me of the Big Bang, and of course the mention of multiple gods. It gives the legend an eclectic vibe, which I like. Also interesting that humans are associated with mediation and wisdom here, although that might just be due to reverence for a lost past. I imagine the non-mythologized version of humanity would come as quite a shock to many current-day Pokémon.
Yeah, the average local's views of humans in this setting are very rose-tinted. Not being cognizant of your idols' failings has a way of priming you to repeat them and all that.
The first couple actual paragraphs are reminiscent of migrant workers. Unsure if intentional or not, but the parallel drawn does a good job informing us of the mundane drudgery of Lyle’s day-to-day job. It reminds me of that famous line from Gaskell’s North & South:
“Little bits, as fly off fro’ the cotton, when they’re carding it, and fill the air till it looks all fine white dust. They say it winds rounds the lungs, and tightens them up. Anyhow, there’s many a one as works in a carding-room, that falls into a waste, coughing and spitting blood, because they’re just poisoned by the fluff.”
I'll have to give that a read sometime. But yeah, Lyle wouldn't be looking towards alternative means of making a living if his ability to do that while sticking to the straight and narrow wasn't fraying in live-time.
My knowledge of overarching Fledglings lore is severely limited, but I vaguely recall a war being mentioned before. I like the Sisyphean nature of its description--the implication that it drags on and on with no end in sight. And the corruption that spreads like rot from it via figures such as Nils.
I actually mentioned this on TRcord, but while there's some interplay of ideas, themes, and the occasional character cameo here and there, Once a Thief and Fledglings are just flatly in separate continuities. There are some things that go down in this story that would require massive retcons to patch into Fledglings, and wouldn't necessarily work well with it and the tone it chases.
I mean, perhaps if I get bored one day and have nothing better to do, I'll write a crossover in some capacity, but that'd likely be about as canon as Fledglings' current crossover with Guiding Light. Probably. Being a setting that takes heavily after Xeno games does leave give me a couple options for outs to do otherwise if I want to badly enough.
Well, not last words, otherwise this is going to be a really short story. ^^;
As expected, your worldbuilding is quite intricate. And it’s introduced in a manageable fashion, contextualized by Lyle’s interactions with others. Lyle himself comes across gruff and perhaps a bit flaky? Not sure. I’ll be curious to see how his reasons for leaving the group develop further. Kate and maybe Nils are the only other major characters introduced, and I’m not quite sure what to make of them yet. Kate seems snarky and competent. Nils seems odious but has a minor compassionate streak, given he left one of his other marks alone due to her family struggles.
I mean, this story does aim for "shades of gray" among most of its cast. How dark that shade varies from character to character, though glad to see that came through a bit here, even if admittedly the cast hasn't been on-screen long enough for readers to form hard conclusions by this point.
We end with an agreement for a one-off job. I do enjoy a good heist story. Will try to check out more.
And I'll be looking forward to it! Since hey, one of the objectives of this story was to write a tale from the perspective of PMD Outlaws. Wouldn't be much of one if they didn't put their sticky paws to use here and there.
The word ‘gaped’ is technically correct, but implies a sense of shock or wonder. But the rest of the paragraph instead implies it’s just another day on the job. That we follow this up with ‘trudging’ further emphasizes the mundanity of it all.
Yeah, I think I see your point there. I turned that to 'glanced' to play up the 'but for me, it's Tuesday'-ness of things a bit more.
Yes, I know scarves matter quite a lot in this universe. But it has no relevance to the subject of the sentence and just artificially lengthens it, so that it reads clunky and overlong. Have him use the scarf to shade his eyes from the sun or something instead. Regardless, it should be moved somewhere else.
Yeah, I figured it was important to make sure that the readers understood "it's autumn", since there's some stuff that comes way down the pipe in this story that would only work set in this general time interval.
Always appreciate a good footnote or two, and this has those in abundance.
Yeah, this one was experimenting with a different style than what Fledglings rocks to try and make it easier on readers of versions without hovertext. It didn't work as well as I expected it to, but eh. It forced me to be more mindful of dropping in context hints.
They’re the only two characters in the scene, I can infer who Crustle is frowning at. Everything after frown could be cut out. Even then, just referred to Lyle as the Quilava--or even better, his name--like almost everywhere else.
Yeah, I think I see the point here as well. Went ahead and did that trim.
Though thanks for the feedback. I'll try to keep it in mind a bit more pre-emptively for future chapters, though hopefully you won't notice it happen too often in the others up to this point should you opt to continue reading this story.
And with that, it's time to beat 2023 over the finish line with a fresh update, and the last one in Primordial Woods before the cast and the plot move onto someplace a bit less uncharacteristically warm for their season:
Es wird gesagt, dass die Götter im Gefolge des glühenden Blitzes unruhig wurden und von ihren Plätzen in dieser vergangenen Welt wanderten, um zu versuchen, einen Sinn für die zu finden, die in ihrem Gefolge zurückgelassen wurde. Einige sollen bis heute von Region zu Region und Leben in Leben in den Ländern dieser Welt treiben, während andere neue Domänen wälten und sich in ihnen niederließen.
Nirgendwo wird dies vielleicht deutlicher als in den Ländern von Wahrheit und Ideale. Zwei Königreiche, die durch ein Meer getrennt sind, durch ihre Kulturen und sogar durch die alten Sprachen, die sie mit der Welt verbinden, die sie erheben und schätzen. Länder, die seit den sagenumwobenen Zeiten nach dem glühenden Blitz nur erbitterte Rivalität und Feindschaft kennen.
Und doch haben diese beiden Länder ihre Schicksale und die Schicksale ihrer Könige mit denen von einem namenlosen Drachen aus einem fernen Land verflochten. Eine, die mit ihren Hinterlassenschaften sowohl die Länder von Wahrheit und Ideale als auch ihre Bewohner prägt. Gleichzeitig eine Ägide, die bereit ist, ihre Wunden zu trösten und zu rächen, und ein Endbringer, der bereit ist, Ihr Jüngstes Gericht auszusprechen, wobei die Schwelle zwischen diesen Extremen ständig schwankt, da sein Leben unser eigenes immer wieder in der Geschichte kreuzt.
Das zukünftige Datum, an dem sich diese Schicksale wieder trennen könnten, ist unbekannt, und der gegenwärtige Bogen der Geschichte neigt sich dazu, dass sie sich immer mehr miteinander verstricken. Einige, einschließlich einiger Könige dieser Reiche, sind überzeugt, dass diese Verflechtung nur enden wird, wenn das eine oder das andere, Wahrheit oder Ideale, über dem anderen steht.
Angesichts des unsagbaren Elends, das solchen Annahmen folgte, können wir nur beten, dass diejenigen, die diese Berichte lesen, die Weisheit und Voraussicht haben, aus den Sünden der Vergangenheit zu lernen, die in diesem Buch aufgezeichnet sind. Zusammen mit denen, die ungeschrieben bleiben.
- Auszug aus »Ein und Alles - Von Göttern eines Landes von Schwarz und Weiß«
Four floors and about two hours later, Team Forager found themselves prowling through another floor of overgrown forests, the present one shrouded with a thick mist that permeated the air and made it hard to see their surroundings. Enough so that at times, Lyle thought that they were on a path to a Pocket.
He and the others took care to creep about the floor quietly to try and avoid hostile encounters like the one they'd had with the Archeops and Rampardos, but it had largely gone unneeded. Little had happened on their current floor beyond them coming across a Blast Seed and a Totter Seed that the team kept for themselves.
"Was zum Teufel ist das?₁"
Lyle looked up as Dalton blinked and walked up to paw at the remains of a wooden chest with a mangled metal frame lying strewn about in the dirt ahead of them. Or at least he assumed it was one since whatever that mess of splintered wood and twisted metal was, it looked much as if it'd been flattened by a boulder. As the Heliolisk sifted through the wreckage, the Quilava noticed that there was nothing left behind in or around the ruined chest beyond just the wood and metal. He blinked and glanced over at Kate as the Sneasel sized up the pile of wood and scrap with a puzzled quirk of her ear.
"Something wrong, Scales?" she asked. "You sound pretty worked up right now. What on earth are we looking at?"
"An Exposure Chest, or I suppose what's left of one," Dalton answered. "Judging from the pattern on some of the wood, it looks like the Colorswap Consortium set this one out."
Lyle blinked and looked back down at the remains of the chest. Exposure Chests were used by merchants to try and fashion items to sell to the likes of Hunters, ones that could only be formed through the exposure of a Mystery Dungeon's Distortion. This one probably used to have a bunch of fabrics for making scarves with special properties for their wearers like invigorating them or suppressing poisons, or maybe something more exotic like fabrics for those scarves that were supposed to have effects in Mystery Dungeons like some Wonder Orbs.
Except, chests like these were usually heavily reinforced. They had to be in order to survive getting caught up by Dungeon Winds repeatedly, much less Wilders messing around with them. Lyle turned back to Dalton with a wary cock of his brow, as the Fire-type went up and gave a wary sniff at the wreckage, and caught a scent on its planks that made his stomach growl.
"Smells like this one was being used to try and treat Gummis," he said. "I'm a little surprised that one of the Colorswap Consortium's chests would get broken into since they never struck me as the type to cheap out on their stuff."
Irune shifted uneasily and gave a concerned look up at her teammates. Lyle didn't peg her as knowing anything about those lizards given that she hadn't known better than to shoplift from one of their shops, but something that he said must've struck her being off from her expression.
"… Should we be worried?" the Axew asked. "You're making it sound like this wasn't supposed to have happened."
"The chest could've just been defective and gone overlooked," Dalton said. "Though considering some of the Wilders we've run into lately…"
… Right, the Wilders on the past few floors had been getting pretty strong. And some like that Rampardos from earlier probably could've made for decent Box Busters had they been Civils. Between that and the chatter that food had apparently been scarce among them lately, Lyle supposed that was as simple an explanation as any for how the Wilders broke into the chest…
So why did he have a lingering uneasy feeling about it?
"Damn, could've used some free food with how much the Dungeon's been wearing down on us," Kate sighed, shaking her head. "But whatever, let's just keep going."
Lyle opted to not think too hard about the matter and just move along with his teammates. After all, the Link to Raptor Rock they were pinning their hopes on was supposed to be somewhere on this floor and it wasn't about to find itself. The four went back to combing the maze-like floor they were on, occasionally leaving markings cut or burned into the surrounding forest to note where they'd already been, while taking care to keep their eyes and ears peeled for roaming Wilders. Thankfully, they didn't run into any, and after sweeping the peripheral corridors, Lyle and his fellows came across a cave entrance with mist thick enough to look like a cloud swirling about it. He figured that had to be a sign they'd come across the Pocket to the Link which the Cranidos from the Monster House told them about.
"I… think we've found it," Lyle said.
Dalton walked up and eyed the fog-filled approach warily, before shaking his head and looking back. Had Dalton found something wrong with it? Or else, what was with this hesitation?
"I don't know if that's a safe assumption to make, but it's the only Pocket we've found on this entire floor so far," the Heliolisk said. "We should proceed accordingly and tread carefully."
Right, assuming anything in a Mystery Dungeon was a bad idea. Especially one that had been getting as treacherous as the past few floors had been. One by one, Team Forager's members braced themselves, Lyle giving an exploratory flare of his vents while Dalton and Kate did much the same with their own elements. Before Lyle knew it, Irune had been trusted with a Blast Seed and the guiding string had been distributed between them. Dalton took the lead this time with Kate following just behind him, just in case they accidentally popped into a den and needed to bog down a group of Wilders up ahead before making a run for it.
Well, nobody could say that they hadn't gone in prepared, which was probably the best they could hope for at the moment.
Lyle sucked in a sharp breath and warily drew towards the mist after feeling Dalton and Kate tug the string forward, only for it to suddenly run taut. The Quilava looked over his shoulder, seeing Irune had stopped and was visibly shrinking back from the fog, just staring off at the cave entrance. What on earth had gotten into her all of a sudden?
Dalton and Kate had noticed things by now themselves and were now stopping themselves and turning around. The pair paused briefly, before both the Heliolisk and Sneasel shot sharp frowns at the young Dragon-type.
"Irune, is something wrong?" Dalton asked.
The Axew bit her lip a moment, and dragged her foot against the ground uneasily. She looked uneasy, afraid even.
"A-Are we sure we're making the right choice here?" she murmured. "We don't have any idea of what's waiting for us on the other side of this passage."
She was seriously bringing this up now of all times? Lyle let out an unamused sigh at Irune's hesitance, and Kate and Dalton looked to be similarly unimpressed. Especially Kate, from the way she was pinning her ears back and folding her arms much like she might've at times when he or Alvin second-guessed her a bit too forcefully in the past.
"Hrmph, asking a bit late aren't ya? Surprised you're so worried about a bunch of Outlaws getting smacked around given that you made your feelings about us clear earlier," the Sneasel scoffed. "Also, this was the only lead we got out of that Cranidos before you chased him off. We'd be shooting in the dark otherwise."
Irune briefly grimaced and Lyle swore that he saw a brief flash of regret over her eyes. It didn't last for very long before the Axew piped up, raising her voice in stammering protest.
"I-I know that, but-!"
"Irune, you yourself pointed out that Lacan is most likely sending soldiers to lie in ambush at the exits to this place," Dalton reminded. "If that's the case, we need to take this Link to Raptor Rock. Its exits are over a day's journey from Toya Square. Far enough that it'd be our only realistic shot at beating his Grünhäuter out to the surface."
"B-But if something happened to me in there-!" she started.
Lyle narrowed his eyes at that and flared up in irritation. Irune was still going on about herself right now? Gods, he wasn't sure if he could take an entire journey to the Divine Roost like this.
"Then you'd be in the exact same boat as the rest of us, and we'll pull through things by working together."
The Axew froze as Lyle made his way up to her and curled his features into a piercing, fiery scowl.
"Look, you've already made it clear you don't like us, kid. But our different backgrounds mean as little those Wilders as it does to that Fähnlein that's chasing us around," he harrumphed. "The least you can do is fight alongside us properly until we get to that treasure you're after."
Irune shrank back, and part of Lyle wavered a bit. He never liked picking on kids, and even if Irune's words had stung earlier, the way she'd been acting afterwards almost felt like she'd been trying to make things up.
Lyle eased himself briefly. There'd be a time and place to give her crap for running her mouth off like that, but now wasn't it. He looked between his Sneasel and Axew companions, before flattening out his ears.
"We know that taking this Link's risky. But passing it up to try and find another one isn't any less of so," the stoat reminded. "How many more Wilders would we have to fight if we just kept going deeper to try and find another way out? Would it even get us any closer to the Divine Roost? Raptor Rock wasn't on the route we were planning originally, but it at least gets us closer to where we need to go."
There was a long silence, before the Fire-type shook his head with a low grunt.
"So let's go with what we know here," he insisted. "It's not like our other options are much better."
Irune lowered her head and hesitated, before sighing and pacing along after the Quilava. Sounded like that was enough to convince her. Lyle followed along after feeling the guiding string tug at his paws again and carried off along with the rest of Team Forager into the mist. Lyle flared the fire on his vents for light, and dutifully watched the ground below to make sure he was staying on the path through it, only for the fog to make it increasingly moot as his vision collapsed further and further.
At its height, Lyle was unable to see more than just a few paces in front of him, and slowed his steps to a guarded crawl until the guiding string from Kate ahead of him ran taut. He inched along carefully, until he noticed he was starting to see further out. Five paces ahead, then ten, then fifteen, his body's fire illuminating more and more of the mist-shrouded passage until he saw Kate and then Dalton's bodies reappear up ahead as an exit partly blocked by a large boulder came into view.
The Quilava popped out with his teammates into a misty clearing hemmed in by gray stone walls flecked with moss and ferns. Some of it was natural stone, others of it was composed of level, concrete surfaces, including one that bore a faded sigil of that same design they spotted a few floors above of two swirls circling about each other.
Lyle waited for his companions to catch up, gaping about and noticing that the boulder behind them had been precariously balanced on a short ledge. Thank the dead gods that the stone had remained where it was. Had the stone toppled and blocked off the exit, any ideas of making their way to Raptor Rock and back to the outside world through this Pocket would've literally hit a wall.
Lyle shook his head and started to turn away, when he noticed something was wrong. The earth heading in from the passage from the Distortion sported a noticeable, round, indentation, with the face of the boulder nearest the edge caked in dirt. A closer examination revealed the ledge it was balanced on sported scuffs and scrapes with rock fragments broken off at the edge, as if the boulder had fallen and then been rolled back up the ledge before, and likely more than once.
"Ah! This is it! That's the Link to Raptor Rock!"
Lyle turned his head and saw Kate motioning off with her claw at a ledge with vines running up it from the ground. There was a stony, inclining path that started from there, which made its way up to a cave mouth filled with fog.
The Quilava stood there staring dumbly for a moment, hearing Dalton and Irune breathe sighs of relief. So they really had found the Link, and it didn't look like it'd be hard to reach either. Thank gods, since after everything that had happened since morning, they could use a lucky break for once. The sound of pattering footsteps snapped Lyle back to attention, as he saw Kate start forward and motioned back to him and their other teammates to follow.
"Come on," the Dark-type insisted. "Let's get going and leave this dump behind-"
"GRAAAAAAAWWWRRRRR!"
Lyle's blood froze in his veins and his teammates' eyes visibly shrank at the sound of a deafening roar when a hulking, red and white creature that stood on two legs with a pair of stubby arms stormed out from behind a ruined wall towards the back. Another Wilder Tyrantrum, one who was flashing an overpowering glare at them, opening his jaws to flash a maw full of white, knife-like teeth.
"Invader scum!" the Tyrantrum snarled. "How dare you disturb the territory of Rankar, High Chief of Primordial Woods?!"
The fire on Lyle's body came alive with a start as he and his teammates shrank back from the encroaching Tyrantrum. A quick glance over his hide revealed that it was worn and flecked with battle scars. Old, but not weak in the slightest from the looks of it, enough so that going through the rest of Primordial Woods and trying to find some other Link to literally anywhere else in Varhyde suddenly didn't sound like such a bad idea to him.
"W-We were just leaving!" the Fire-type squeaked back. "C-Come on, let's get out of here!"
Lyle turned to run for the entrance with his companions, only for this 'Rankar' to call up a hail of stones from the ground and knock the boulder ajar from its place on the ledge. Lyle watched in horror as the rock lurched, before dropping in front of the exit with a deafening crash, the sound fading out as a startled cry from Irune filled his ears.
"A-Aah! The passage!"
The Quilava and the others ran up to the boulder and tried to push it out of the way, only for the massive rock to refuse to budge. Attempting to squeeze past it was similarly a non-starter, as it blocked the cave's mouth so completely that even a Cutiefly would've had trouble getting by it. A low growl turned their attention back towards the Tyrantrum, who was approaching with a tensed crouch and readying himself to lunge forward.
"I don't know who put you up to disturb my sanctuary, but it doesn't matter," the Tyrantrum snarled. "I'll chew your bones like I do with everyone else who dares come here!"
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the Rock-type stomped the ground, Lyle dragging Irune rightwards for dear life as he could faintly make out Dalton and Kate bolting for the left. The ground erupted in a shower of dirt as stones tore out of the earth and crashed into the boulder. The crunch of stones dashing against each other rang out along with Irune's voice yelping in pain, then came the feeling of something blunt striking him in his back and knocking him down.
Lyle wheezed for air as he tried to gather his rattled mind and fraying nerves. He'd been hit by a Rock-type attack, probably a Rock Slide from how much it'd stung. The Quilava tried to right himself when he felt the ground shake and saw gleaming, white teeth bared as the Wilder charged at him. Lyle's nerves failed him, the Quilava suddenly feeling the same helplessness he did back when he was a Cyndaquil stranded in the middle of the stream near home. He yelped and spewed fire from his head and tail vents, trying to curl up into a fiery ball when he felt cold air woosh past and heard the Tyrantrum wince in pain.
Lyle looked up and saw the Tyrantrum 'High Chief' recoiling, trying to brush ice off his snout, when the Quilava felt claws dig into his forepaws and yank him up. He panted and quivered briefly, before looking up to see Kate's red eyes scowling into his impatiently.
"Lyle! Look alive and get up already!"
Kate shoved him back and hurriedly jumped away, Lyle rolling out of the way as the ground tremored and the Tyrantrum charged. The Quilava readied a Will-O-Wisp, only for the hulking dinosaur to veer off to his left at the last second.
Which was when he saw it:
Much to Lyle's horror, the Rock-type was barreling for Irune, bluish light starting to fleck his tail as Irune froze and looked up in petrified terror. The Tyrantrum wound up his Dragon Tail and swung, the Quilava flinching in advance of the sickening thud or crunch that would surely follow.
It never came, and instead a sharp yelp and pained bellow rang out. Lyle looked back at the site and saw Rankar wincing briefly after pulling his tail back from hitting the wall. Off on the ground just beside the Tyrantrum, he spotted Dalton hurriedly dragging Irune back onto her feet. He must have tackled her out of the way of the Tyrantrum's tail—not a moment too soon, either.
The Heliolisk looked back frantically, calling out to Lyle and Kate with an impatient snap as he raised a hand and pointed off behind him..
"Hurry! We're going to need to make a run for it!" Dalton cried.
The four bolted for the vine-covered ledge as fast as their legs could carry them for the exit, Lyle and Irune hobbling a little from their earlier blow. Just as Kate made it to the vines and latched on, a hail of rocks slammed into the wall ahead of them. The four stumbled back as clods of dust and dirt kicked up, a few of the vines falling to the ground severed. Lyle reeled as the dust plume got into his eyes and nose and hacked for air.
Amidst the confusion, he felt the ground shake when a loud thump rang out from above. Lyle froze as the dust settled, looking up to see that the Tyrantrum had taken the opportunity to overtake them and jumped up onto the ledge above them. The dinosaur opened his maw and let out a bellowing roar that made Lyle's head spin and he darted back in a blind panic. As he regained his wits, he saw his teammates had fled with him in much the same fashion. The tremors he then noticed coming from behind them tipped him off that the 'High Chief' of this craphole was hot on their tails, a quick glance back revealing Rankar had chased them halfway back across the Pocket from their would-be exit.
"H-He just keeps cutting us off!" Irune stammered.
Lyle felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of the hulking Rock-type running after them with jaws bared for a crushing bite. From how hard the Tyrantrum had hit him and Irune earlier, getting into a straight fight would be a harrowing ordeal that they'd likely lose. So then their best option would be to buy time and slip away from him through the Link, and the Totter Seed prodding at him through his depleted satchel's fabric was one of the best bets that they had of pulling that off.
"Then we're going to have to fix that!" Lyle exclaimed. "Everyone, go for his legs!"
Lyle dug his heels in and fished out the Totter Seed from his bag, whirling and throwing it at the Tyrantrum right as he readied a Rock Slide. The Totter Seed dashed against Rankar's hide with an audible pop that sent the dinosaur into a visible daze. From there Kate ran in as the Rock-type staggered, sliding between the Tyrantrum's legs, breathing out an Icy Wind to slick the ground under his feet and make him slip and topple over.
"Grah!"
Rankar toppled over onto his front with a loud crash, one that Lyle figured would probably be satisfying if his heart didn't feel like it was about to stop at any moment. The Rock-type lay there in a daze as Dalton ran up and passed a weak jolt of electricity through the Tyrantrum's body. The Fossil Pokemon jerked back reflexively, his limbs stiffening as static danced on his body and Dalton jumped back with a low scoff.
"Perhaps it'd do you some good to show some hospitality next tim-!"
A hateful glare flashed over the elderly Tyrantrum's eyes. He fought against his stiff and unresponsive limbs and then lunged forward, swinging his mouth open wide and clamping down on Dalton's right shoulder with a sickening crunch.
"AAAAAAAAAH!"
Everything went by in a blur after that as Dalton's screams filled the Pocket. Lyle looked on blankly as the Tyrantrum lifted the still-flailing and thrashing Heliolisk in his jaw, throwing him up before biting down again over Dalton's entire upper body on shaking the Electric-type much like a doll between a Granbull's jaws. Lyle stood frozen in his tracks at the sight, when Irune's voice snapped him back to attention with a horrified cry.
"D-Dalton!"
A deafening, electrical crackle rang out, making the Tyrantrum open his jaws and recoil with a pained bellow as smoke curled up from blackened patches of scales about his mouth. Dalton slipped from the dinosaur's grasp, falling and hit the ground stunned in a sorry heap. For a second, Lyle thought the Wilder had killed him: the Heliolisk's entire upper body was covered in bite marks, with ragged, oozing holes punched through the lower right of his frill that dribbled ruddy fluid.
And then the Heliolisk staggered up, cradling his right arm as it hung limply at his side, dribbling blood from a few ugly puncture wounds around deepening bruises as the lizard tried to suppress a few pained whimpers. Lyle reflexively started forward and flinched along with Dalton as a low growl sounded out behind them. There, fighting against the effects of his paralysis, was the High Chief, lumbering along as he let a low growl escape his wedge-like teeth.
"Time to finish you, Invader!"
"L-Leave him alone!"
Lyle followed the Tyrantrum's gaze just in time to see an Irune dart at his heels and throw a pair of sharp chops at them with her tusks. Rankar winced in pain and hesitated, as from the side, Kate ran in with her claws flashed and eyes smoldering with hatred. The Sneasel darted at the Tyrantrum calling out to Lyle as bitter venom dripped from her voice.
"Get up, Lyle!" Kate snarled. "We're icing this overgrown lizard!"
One thing happened after another following Kate's angry hiss. Dalton scurried off for cover as the Sneasel ran up and threw icy flechettes at one of the Tyrantrum's knees and sent the dinosaur staggering back and stumbling over as his limbs locked up from paralysis. That was as good an opening as any to make that bastard pay.
Lyle lowered his head and charged forward with a wheeling somersault the best that the stoat's typing allowed against his Rock-type foe. He felt himself striking the Wilder's hard hide with all the force he could muster, which much to his surprise, hit him hard enough to draw a sharp yelp. The Quilava breathed in tensely as the Tyrantrum seemed to struggle and have the wind taken out of him. For a second, Lyle thought that they'd put Rankar on the ropes, only for the Tyrantrum to force himself up, seemingly finding an untapped source of vigor.
"Do you think that's all it takes to best me?!" the Wilder sneered. "Let me show you little runts how wrong you are!"
Lyle readied smoke at the back of his throat, rocking back and forth on his feet to spring away at a moment's notice as Kate ran at the Tyrantrum with her claws drawn and taking a metallic sheen. He sprang forward, when the ground suddenly erupted with stones tearing out of the ground from below, and stabbing pain shot through his underbelly.
The Quilava shrieked and felt his paws leave the ground, hearing Kate yowling in pain somewhere in the Pocket that was spinning around in his vision. He sailed along through empty air briefly, when the back of his head and then the rest of his body struck something hard and rough from behind.
He slumped forward after that, hitting the dirt on his side and rolling as his vision blurred. He could barely move his paws and every part of his body he could think of now hurt. From the smell of smoke and the audible sputtering he was hearing from his body's flames, he wasn't sure he could even get back onto his feet right now.
Lyle laid there for a moment, panting as the world about him swirled in an incoherent daze, when a low growl filled his ears and he felt warm, moist breath over him. The Quilava looked up, and there was Rankar hovering over him with his fangs bared.
Lyle felt a whimper come from his throat. This was it. He was going to die in this gods-forsaken jungle, too tired and beaten down to even curl up and give a spiting burn as his foe moved in for the kill. The Quilava screwed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the Tyrantrum's crushing bite when he heard a sharp, quailing cry ring out from ahead of him.
"S-Stop it! Just stop it!"
The Quilava felt Rankar's breath leave him and cracked his eyes open to see Irune standing a short distance away from the both of them, wide-eyed and struggling as if trying to keep a fire penned up within her body. White-blue electrical sparks danced on her scales and ringed her in crackling arcs, as her red eyes glared hateful daggers into the Tyrantrum.
T-The hell?! S-Since when did Axew know how to use electric attacks?!
"Get away from them!"
Irune charged forward, the electrical arcs crossing over in front of her as she barreled headfirst into the Tyrantum. There was a brilliant flash of blue light upon contact, followed by a pained howl and a loud crash. Lyle woozily stumbled to his feet. He panted in fright for a moment, and turned after the Tyrantrum only to freeze at the sight he came across:
There, slumped against the wall on the far left end of the pocket, was Rankar who from the distance, had been flung aside much as if he were a child's toy from Irune's tackle. The Tyrantrum was now missing chunks of his protofeathers and sporting blackened electrical burns across his hide and struggling up in a daze. Lyle's mouth hung open in shock, as Irune flopped over seemingly drained of energy and gasped for air, the Quilava staring wide-eyed and dumbstruck at his Axew partner.
"Wh-What in the-?"
"Whatever it was, don't question it!" Kate cried. "Hit him while he's down!"
The Sneasel scooped up a red-and-yellow scaled seed lying on the ground. Ah! That was the Blast Seed they'd given Irune! She must've dropped it in the confusion earlier!
Lyle couldn't remember the last time he'd ever seen Kate this angry. He hurriedly forced himself onto his feet, trying to limp after her to give her cover. A deafening bellow rang out, with a glance upwards revealing had righted himself and opened his mouth for a bellowing roar.
Kate's eyes shrank to pins in a panic and she reflexively flung her Blast Seed forward. The red, scaled missile sailed along, finding its mark along the Tyrantrum's lower jaw when a deafening blast and flash of heat rang out. An agonized howl rang out as Lyle watched the Tyrantrum totter and crash to the ground on his side, the place where the Blast Seed had struck his maw now sporting a scorch mark where droplets of dark fluid oozed out of his mouth. The Quilava stood there panting in disbelief for a moment, when he heard a dull thud, and turned with Kate and Irune to see Dalton had slumped over onto the ground behind a small pile of rocks, much to the Axew's alarm.
"D-Dalton!"
"G-Götterblut, can't we catch a break?" the Sneasel muttered. "Hang in there, Scales! Don't die on us!"
In a better moment, Lyle probably would have huffed about his Sneasel partner's comment tempting fate. But with how he couldn't even see Dalton's chest heave, he was starting to worry that she might be prescient. He, Kate, and Irune came upon the stricken Heliolisk, and found him visibly shivering from his ordeal, his scales blotched at various points with deep bruises and lacerations dribbling blood. Lyle grimaced and felt his vents come to life, stammering as he saw the Heliolisk's condition.
"Oh crap, oh crap…"
He reflexively stooped to help the Electric-type up with his Sneasel partner, the pair helping Dalton to his feet when Kate's paws chanced to brush up against the Heliolisk's right arm and made him cry out in pain. The two backed away from the Electric-type, lest he accidentally shock them by reflex when in the process, Lyle felt something brush up against one of his hindpaws and jumped away with a start.
"Ah! The hell was-?!"
Lyle whirled around and saw Irune hanging back with a blank look on her face. She must've been frozen in shock. But she wasn't the one who'd brushed his paw. A quick glance down revealed the culprit: a blackened, white spike-like shape in the ground with a curve and dulled serrations on it that broke off abruptly at one end. The Quilava picked up the object and held it, when heard a groan coming from the middle of the Pocket.
"N-Nrgh…"
There, Rankar was woozily trying to get up, and right by where his Blast Seed had struck his jaw, was a dark gap, and the broken stubs of a pair of teeth. The dinosaur's eyes fell on the tooth in the Quilava's paws, when his eyes shrank to pins and his voice took on a panicked tone.
"A-Ah! Give that back right now, you furry worm!" the Tyrantrum cried.
Lyle braced himself, only to see the Tyrantrum stumble after trying to give chase. The Rock-type clearly was in no shape to keep fighting at the moment, something that Kate clearly noticed as well from the way she glared back and flashed her claws.
"You'll wind up killing yourself if you try to fight things out in your state, Wilder," the Sneasel harrumphed. "Not that I care if you wind up biting it after what you did to our friend. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes-"
"Wait."
Lyle felt someone tug the tooth out of his paws, and looked down to see Irune approaching still-panting, her eyes now narrowed into a fierce scowl.
"Before we do anything to him, there's something I need to know," the Axew insisted.
Irune held the tooth out in front of the Chief, who abruptly froze and looked much as if he'd been suddenly caught in a snare. Lyle stumbled forward and shot an incredulous stare after his Axew teammate as his thoughts went straight to his lips.
"Irune, what the hell are you doing-?"
"Didn't he threaten to chew our bones earlier?" she asked. "How was he supposed to do that with teeth like this?"
Irune held up the tooth in her claws, which Lyle went over to inspect and instantly noticed that it looked worn and ground down. He looked at the tooth and then back at Dalton. The Strong Jaw Pokémon had done a number on him, but even so, something was off. Rankar had bit down on the entire upper half of his body and shook him around like a rag doll, but only a few spots of the Heliolisk's hide were broken.
The Tyrantrum's mood had become clearly unnerved, too. Much more so than what a couple broken teeth ought to have done with the way he was looking back wide-eyed, still gasping for air.
"S-So I engage in a little bluster," the Rock-type stammered back. "You've made your point, now give it back-! Agh!"
A frigid wind hit the Tyrantrum in the face and made the lumbering dinosaur recoil with a pained yelp. Lyle looked to his right and saw Kate approaching with the lingering remains of an Icy Wind leaving her mouth. The Sneasel's fur stood on edge and she breathed in livid, hissing breaths as she flashed her claws back at the ailing Tyrantrum.
"A little bluster?! You just tried to kill us!" Kate cried. "I oughta cut your throat right here and now, you gottverdammten Vow-Breaker!"
Lyle hurriedly grabbed onto Kate as she tried to break free. She'd thrown one of the most serious charges a Civil could throw at a Wilder, or that a Wilder could throw at a Civil. That they'd broken the Vow that kept them from taking each others' lives and had forfeited its protections.
Lyle didn't know if Kate had ever taken another 'mon's life, but with that look in her eyes, he got the feeling that if she hadn't done so sometime in the past, that she was about to right here and now.
"W-What do you want from me?! Food? T-Take it and leave this place! Just give me that tooth back!"
The Tyrantrum was squirming now, with his tail curled in towards his body and his face contorted into a visible grimace. The dinosaur winced and shrank back visibly cowed, any traces of his earlier aggression now replaced with a frightened, submissive posture. Lyle paused for a moment and hesitated. It was hard to believe this scared-looking geezer was the same 'mon who just a few moments earlier was ready to sink his teeth into him.
No, something had to be wrong here. Vow-Breaker or not, even when Wilders were cowed by defeat, they rarely reacted like this. The Quilava looked about and noted that for a predator's lair, there was a distinct lack of bones lying about, stranger still, it looked like there were a few broken-up chests lying about, with a few stray gummis around them.
Exposure Chests? Even if a Tyrantrum was probably strong enough to open one up, since when did Wilders make a point for searching out gummis?
"I guess you'd better get me in the mood to give it back then," Irune's voice piped up. "You say you're the High Chief of Primordial Woods, so why's this tooth such a big deal to you?"
Lyle turned to see the Axew standing in front of the Tyrantrum with a piercing glare. He thought to cut her off and tell her that a Wilder's business was none of their own and that they should just hurry up and leave after they'd scared the 'mon into backing down. Rankar said nothing back for a long while, before looking away and letting a grudging murmur out from his mouth.
"… It's from my last set. They stopped regrowing three years ago," the Rock-type replied. "They're my pride and joy, and show my strength to the others so that they respect me!"
The Quilava blinked at the Tyrantrum's reply. He supposed that it wasn't unreasonable for a bigger and tougher Pokémon to be prideful of his strength, even many Civils were like that. But 'respect'? Irune seemed to react poorly to the answer, as she pointed accusingly at the ancient Wilder.
"Is that why the other Pokemon were so bitter at you?" Irune demanded. "They don't respect you, they're scared of you! They're literally just waiting for you to die! Why on earth are they even like this?!"
There was a long silence afterwards, the Tyrantrum closing his eyes briefly as he spoke up in a low voice.
"… It's because of the last High Chief of these woods. My brother."
Team Forager's members blinked at the dinosaur's reply. Lyle opened his mouth to press further himself, only for the hulking Rock-type to preempt him by shaking his head and continuing on with a sullen growl.
"That bastard was the last High Chief of Primordial Woods, and ascended by exiling our mother after she grew old and toothless so he could rule in her stead," the Tyrantrum replied. "I overcame him on the surface near the falls and let the waters carry him off. I became the High Chief of this Mystery Dungeon afterwards, thinking that surely things could go back to normal and that surely the others would appreciate what I'd done to avenge my mother who once led them…"
Lyle felt a cold chill run down his back. Those two killed off their own family over who'd become this 'High Chief'? While Lyle supposed that even Civils weren't above such things and knew that Wilders could be vicious in dealing with one another, but… this wasn't normal here, was it?
The Tyrantrum's reaction seemed to indicate otherwise, as he paused and balled up his claws, right as a flash of bitterness came over his face and leaked into his voice.
"But no, everyone wanted that horrid tearthroat as their High Chief instead and tried to push me out almost as soon as I returned!" he growled. "So I made them respect me. With my teeth and claws I fought, and fought until all of Primordial Woods knew me as their leader!"
Lyle felt his stomach knot up in revulsion. So this 'mon was a usurper, and whatever he did to make those other Wilders 'respect' him, he was sure he didn't want to know. Nobody else seemed to be in a good mood after the explanation, least of all Kate; with that hateful look from earlier, she bore her fangs and flashed her claws as ice began to build up on them.
"Wilde Mistkerl₂…" Kate spat. "I've heard enough. We're giving this craphole a new 'High Chief'-!"
"L-Leave him alone!"
A higher-pitched roar abruptly rang out, followed by a yelp from Kate. Lyle whirled around just in time to see a brown blur tackled her from behind.
"Ow! What the-?!"
Lyle lit up and whirled around along with his Sneasel companion to see a Tyrunt clamped down on her tail with his jaws and trying to pull her back. Because of course there'd be more gottverdammten Wilders trying to take bites out of them right about now.
Lyle dropped to all fours and forced struggling fire out of his vents. He readied white-hot cinders in his mouth for a Will-O-Wisp, when something heavy struck him from the side. The Quilava yelped after feeling the tackling blow strike still-raw wounds and stumbled off his feet, looking up just in time to see a second Tyrunt bite down on his belly.
The stoat's eyes shot wide with a pained yelp, and he reflexively blew fire in the other Tyrunt's face. There was a pained screech, as she let go and fell back. Lyle rolled back onto his feet and flared out the fire from his vents, seeing the Tyrunt whimper in pain and cringe from scorched scales on her snout.
He hesitated briefly, as he realized that the Pokémon's blow had been weak even compared to the Wilders from the Monster House. Just how young was she?
A sharp cry from Kate's direction turned his attention back to her where he saw she'd freed herself from her own attacking Tyrunt with a tackle that knocked him loose and launched him back. She hissed and spewed out an Icy Wind for good measure that made the Tyrunt squeal in pain, only to be cut off by a sharp cry.
"W-Wait! Stop it for just a second!" Irune cried.
The Sneasel faltered for a moment, as Lyle watched the two Tyrunt hastily fall back and go over to the elderly Tyrantrum for cover. After a brief moment hiding behind him, the pair trudged out and dug their feet in. In spite of their widened eyes giving away that they were obviously frightened, the pair stubbornly bared their teeth and tried to make themselves look and sound threatening. Irune cast glances between the smaller dinosaurs and then up at their elder, who seemed to take on an expression much like a cornered Rattata's before she spoke up.
"W-Who are these two?" Irune asked. "And why are they defending you like this?"
Rankar forced himself up and hastily stepped in front of the younger Rock-types, crouching to try and shield them. The Tyrantrum paused for a moment, before grudgingly answering the Axew's inquiry.
"They're my grandchildren… and the only heirs I have as High Chief," he said. "My mate, my children, all of them fell to an 'illness' here or an 'accident' there…"
Lyle froze for a moment as the fire from his vents abruptly sputtered and died out he thought back to the ruined Tyrantrum nest in the Pocket. He hadn't paid it much mind at the time, but… had it also belonged to one of these children Rankar spoke of? He looked up as the Tyrantrum shook his head, before the dinosaur leveled his eyes back insistently at the gathered Outlaws.
"Th- That's why you must give that tooth back!" the dinosaur exclaimed. "As long as the Pokemon here remember me for my strength, they won't dare harm them!"
The Quilava looked down at the tooth in his paw and back at Dalton. He ought to have just spit an Ember back in the damn lizard's face for what he did and then throw it into the Distortion for the Mystery Dungeon to spit out on some random floor. And yet something about all of this made him feel deeply uncomfortable.
Probably because if he did, it'd most likely be a couple of kids who'd pay the price for it.
Lyle looked at the Tyrunt hiding behind the elderly Tyrantrum's legs, then up at the exit on the raised ledge. He paused for a moment, before shaking his head with a bitter grunt.
"Hrmph. Even if we did, those teeth wouldn't magically go back in your jaw anyways," Lyle spat. "But if you really care so much about your grandkids, here's my offer: you back down and let us heal up and go, and we don't whig your teeth into the fog on our way out for your 'subjects' to find after the Distortion inevitably spits it up."
Kate blinked and turned back to Lyle, folding her ears back with an incredulous start.
"Huh?!" the Sneasel exclaimed. "We're just gonna-?!"
"Get our noses out of a Wilder's problems and move on. Besides…"
A sharp wince filled the air, the Quilava turning to see Dalton recoiling and pawing at his bad arm after moving it slightly. The Fire-type stared at his teammate briefly, before shaking his head with a low grumble.
"We've got bigger problems to worry about right now."
Rankar yielded to the demands much easier than Lyle expected. He supposed that for everything he could say about the Wilder, he really did care about those grandkids. After gathering up Rankar's other tooth, Team Forager healed themselves under the vine-encrusted ledge below the exit of the Pocket. He and Kate took turns applying berries and seeds, prioritizing Dalton to try and seal his wounds, only to find that the tears and holes in his frill wouldn't fully seal, and his right arm would stubbornly flash in pain whenever it was touched or brushed up against. Lyle hoped that was just some sort of deep bruise that would sort itself out, but with the way it reminded him of past occasions when he'd seen Pokémon get bones broken during jobs that had gone sideways… he wasn't optimistic.
After they started running low on items, the four reluctantly decided to split the rest between themselves, since they couldn't afford another member of their party getting injured like Dalton had. The whole time, they kept watch over Rankar and his grandchildren in shifts to make sure they weren't attempting to ambush them when their backs turned.
Lyle chewed up the last of some Oran pulp and picked up Rankar's teeth from the dirt beside him when his ears faintly heard Rankar's grandchildren worriedly whining. He pinned his ears back and tried to ignore them. Wilders lived by different rules, after all, it wasn't his job to worry about what became of them. It wouldn't be much longer before they were out of this damned hole anyways.
Even so, it was a bit weird how Irune had stayed deathly silent this whole time. As was the way she kept turning her eyes away whenever he or his teammates looked at her.
"Agh!"
Lyle flinched after hearing Dalton sharply wince in pain and turned to see him at the vine-encrusted ledge up to the exit. There at the top, Kate was already waiting while Dalton had grabbed onto the vines with his left arm, with his right one held out stiffly and limply at his side.
Lyle was losing hope that that was just a deep bruise that they weren't able to treat. He traded a look with Kate, when the Sneasel sighed and rummaged around the top, before throwing a vine down at Dalton.
"There's more than one way to get a 'mon up," she sighed. "Here. Grab onto this, Scales. We'll try pulling you up."
Kate threw a vine down at Dalton's feet, leaving the Heliolisk to breathe in and out deeply before latching onto it with his uninjured arm and planting his feet on the wall. Lyle stooped down and let the Heliolisk step onto his shoulders, rearing up with wobbly feet as his Electric-type passenger tried to grab onto the ledge.
"Is this really all because of your grandkids?"
Lyle looked back, where he saw Irune drifting off for Rankar and his grandchildren. The hell was she up to? The High Chief stared blankly at the ground as his grandchildren pawed at him nervously, when the elderly Rock-type's eyes abruptly came alive and he spoke up with a stammering splutter.
"O-Of course it is!" the Tyrantrum insisted. "Why wouldn't I want the next High Chief of these woods to come from my own flesh and blood?!"
"Then why do you keep setting up things to be worse for them when you're gone?"
Lyle felt Dalton's feet and tail leave his shoulders as Kate helped pull him up onto the ledge, but even so, he couldn't help but look at Irune as she stared down the Wilders and dead silence followed her question. The Quilava's attention fell over the Tyrunt. Would it really take until Rankar keeled over for things to get worse for them? After all, once all those other Wilders put two and two together about how the 'mon's teeth weren't growing back…
Irune must've realized it too, since she seemed to have a sense of lingering discomfort as she grew visibly lost in her thoughts.
"I… don't know what to say for what you should do," the Axew murmured. "All I know is that you're just turning the other Pokemon against you, and your grandchildren don't have your strength to defend themselves."
… No, that wasn't their problem. Getting to the Divine Roost in one piece was, as was getting out and getting their wounds more properly treated. Lyle shuffled over and placed a paw on Irune's shoulder, the Axew jolting up briefly and whirling around and looking up into his eyes with a start.
"Irune, we need to get going," the Quilava said. "We need to find someone to patch up Dalton as soon as we can. I'm not sure how well he'll hold up in another Mystery Dungeon like this."
The Axew fell silent and looked away, but otherwise gave no resistance as Lyle led her up to the vine-encrusted wall. After climbing up, they found Kate steadying Dalton as he cradled his injured arm—probably from having brushed it against something on the way up. Lyle bit his lip and shook his head with a low sigh.
"I'll lead us through the fog this time," he insisted. "Someone's going to need to keep close to Dalton in case he loses his grip on the line as we go through, and you're the best 'mon for the job, Kate."
The Sneasel gave no protest to the assignment either, and sidled up behind the Heliolisk as he grabbed onto the guiding string with his left arm, and briefly blinked back a flash of pain. All the while, Lyle passed their guiding string among his teammates, with Irune rounding out the rear. The Axew took a moment to fish her pendant out from under her scarf and pawed at it uneasily murmuring under her breath, seemingly for reassurance.
Lyle began to set off for the foggy cave mouth when he heard a faint "Grandpa, what's wrong?" from behind. The Quilava looked back and saw Rankar looking down at his younger counterparts with a pained grimace. He had no idea how the 'mon would even begin to explain their predicament to those two. Or even if he'd have the heart to.
"… Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't have any ideas. Seems like all I've been doing lately is making things worse for other Pokemon."
Lyle heard Irune's voice briefly and looked back to see her looking at the ground absentmindedly. He turned his attention back to the broken teeth in his paw and hesitated a moment at the mouth of the Distortion as Irune's words lingered in his mind. Making life worse for others was just part of being an Outlaw, but he usually didn't get to see the others who were affected by that. They were always safely out of sight and out of mind. Until they weren't… like right now.
He shook his head and tightened his grasp around them, before whigging them back into the Pocket with a faint clatter.
A deal was a deal, and what on earth would he even do with the damn things? Keep them as a reminder of this gods-forsaken place?
Lyle made his way forward into the mist along with his teammates, all but grateful as the fog made that damned Mystery Dungeon fade from his senses behind him.
He suspected his teammates all felt much the same way.
Author's Notes:
Words and Phrases
1. Was zum Teufel ist das? - "What the hell is that?" lit. "What the devil is that?"
2. Mistkerl - "bastard", in the sense of a term of abuse. lit. "crap fellow/guy"
Teaser Text
It is said that in the wake of the Great Flash, the gods grew unsettled and wandered our world to try and make sense of the one left behind in its wake. Some are said to drift from region to region and life to life about the lands of this world, while others chose new domains and grew settled in them.
Perhaps nowhere is this more apparent than in the lands of Varhyde and Edialeigh. Two kingdoms that stand separated by a sea, by cultures, by even the ancient languages that link them to the world-that-was which they elevate and hold dear. Lands which have known only bitter rivalry and enmity since the myth-shrouded ages following the Great Flash.
And yet, these two lands have had their fates and the fates of their kings intertwined with those of a Nameless Dragon from a faraway land. One that shapes those lands and their inhabitants with what it leaves behind in its wake. At once an Aegis that stands ready to comfort and avenge their wounds and an Endbringer that stands ready to pronounce their final judgmentᵃ, with the threshold between these extremes remaining ever-fluctuating as its lives intersect our own time and again in history.
That future date when those fates might once again separate is unknown, and the present arc of history has bent towards those fates growing more and more enmeshed. Some, including kings of these realms, have become convinced that this entwinement will end only when one or the other, Varhyde or Edialeigh, stands supreme over the other.
Given the untold misery that has followed such assumptions, we can only pray that those who read these accounts have the wisdom and foresight to learn from the sins of the past recorded in this book. Along with the ones that go unwritten.
- Excerpt from 'Ein und Allesᵇ - Of Gods from a Land of Black and White'
a. lit. "youngest judgment", with "youngest" used in the sense of "last", "most recent". A term for the same concept as a "Last/Final Judgement" or "Doomsday" in eschatology.
b. Left untranslated for flavor reasons and to function as an echo to terminology from the German franchise localization. In a more faithful translation, this would be "One and All".
So this is a fic I’ve been meaning to delve into for a while now. I’ve seen it been offered up many times in Review Tags off forum, and it has intrigued me, especially with the mention of its Xeno references. As a big fan of Xenoblade, I look forward to seeing what this has to offer.
Alas, I haven’t gotten around to reading it. But there’s no better time than the Review Blitz to get into this fic.
Let’s get into it. This’ll be me jotting down points that stick out to me while I read.
Prologue
Doesn’t look like Lyle’s in the best of positions economically. I think it’s easy to see this as a motivator for him to get back into the thieving business. He seems a bit of a grump - an interesting character, no doubt.
This war that’s talked about seems like a hum in the distance. But no doubt it’ll come to the forefront in time. I foresee overlapping of conflict in the future. Maybe Lyle'll be levied? Possibly?
A Persian banker - just like in Rescue Team. And yep, the motivation to turn to thievery is coming in hot and fast. (Because Lyle’s a Fire-type, get it?)
Apricorns exist here, and their application is quite interesting. So Poké Balls (a more primitive version of them, at least) are in this world? And using them to trap Pokémon to starve them to death? That’s a very unique way to apply them in a Pokémon-only setting. Kudos!
So the ferals (or Wilders as they’re known as in this world) can talk in this universe. Fascinating - that’s a bit different from the norm.
Nils seems like a smug prick, alright. By his example, the Soldiers might well come out to be one of the main antagonist groups in this.
Geez, Nils is definitely punch-his-face material. Toll payments like that on an already poor soul? Already can’t wait for his comeuppance. A character named Oulen and her joey is mentioned here - a Kangaskhan, I’m presuming. (We might see them in future, maybe?)
And now in comes Kate to seal the deal on Lyle’s return to the Outlaw life. A teasing sort, she seems to be. I like her already.
This first chapter is quite good. The characters are compelling, and Lyle’s situation is a sympathetic one, so naturally, we’re inclined as viewers to support him.
If there are drawbacks, I’d say sometimes the descriptions are a bit too descriptive sometimes, when a little less would’ve sufficed. And I wouldn’t say I’m too engaged with the setting yet, with all the terms introduced. Although these could just be first chapter things that’ll be resolved in time as we get more engrossed with the characters and the world.
This chapter gets the approval from me.
Chapter 1
Ah yes, the ‘faking a stomachache to get out of work early’. One of the oldest excuses in the book. Relatable - we’ve all done it at some point in our lives.
I notice not too much detail is put into the Mystery Dungeon’s description, and Lyle and Kate travelling six floors is casually mentioned in passing over to get to the meat of action. Perhaps this is for the better - after all, sections like that can get boring to viewers over time.
The existence of Pockets is fascinating. A thieves’ hideout being within them is quite a neat idea. After all, that’d make detecting them a lot harder for the authorities.
Also interesting mentioning that certain species are colourblind. Gives each one a bit more depth. I can’t help but suppose something at this point, though: this could become a plot point in future. Something like that could give leeway for a mistake to be made, based on the fact that some species are colourblind.
Dalton possibly being of a noble background is another point of interest. There’s a backstory there, no doubt.
And we quickly see that it’s a tough job being an outlaw in gangs like these. Having to duel against the gang leaders to earn a place in a job sounds pretty rough. Hard not to sympathise with the lower brass here.
And Lyle made it! That’s a relief.
I do have a slight nitpick with the line “And you're a gutsy one, and that Smokescreen of yours was timed so well…” I’m not against beginning a sentence with ‘And’, but having it occur twice so near each other in the same line makes it feel slightly awkward in my view. A very small nitpick in the grand scheme of things, though.
“The Roly-Poly Caravan?” Ah! A Xenoblade reference! And a bunch of Togedemaru merchants that talk weirdly? Yep, a dead ringer for Nopon, alright. My day has been made.
A reference to Shiren the Wanderer. Okay, sure, why not?
Interesting that Lyle seemed to be the careful one back when he was still a thief. Wonder if that’ll carry over?
Another good chapter. I’m liking this fic so far.
Chapter 2
A location named Port Reyn. Perfect.
Oh, even better! One of the Togedemaru’s names is Zazadan. *squee!*
Is this a reference to the quest in Xenoblade 2 where Rex and co. find out that Nopon put on their speaking mannerisms to make themselves seem cuter? If so, that’s good. Very good, indeed.
Oh, and the Togedemaru even use the term Dinobeasts! Yes!
Also occurring to me that the Togedemaru’s teaming up to be a strong group as a group might be a reference to the Ponspectors from Future Connected. The Xenoblade references are beginning to come in - exactly what I was looking for!
The fight scenes feel engaging - it really captures the feeling of a group engagement and the chaos that comes with it. Owing to my novice skills as a reviewer, I’m not sure I’d be able to pick up on examples of ‘telling, not showing’ that other reviewers might well do. (I admit to having a problem with it in my own writings.) I like the fight scenes, though. You do a good job of showing the chaotic nature of things.
An Axew prisoner? They’re an important character, no doubt, based on the summary and artwork that comes with this fic. A child, though - can’t say I was expecting that.
And the end of this chapter. The Xenoblade references have me compelled.
Chapter 3
Onto Chapter 3. Let’s press on (and on and on!)
The opening letter about the Dyad sounds like pretty sinister business. The fact that Varhyde’s willing to breach protocol to gain the upper hand in the war doesn’t bode well for the future. If I had to guess, this’ll become a conflict further down the road. (In that letter, I spy someone named King Sansa - referencing Zanza, perhaps?)
So the caravan may have done illegal dealing with Lansat Berries. (Well, not the first time a character named Zazadan went down that route…) Curious as how they’re contraband in this setting, though. What makes them illegal, I wonder?
Another reminder of how rough bandits can be with the way Irune is treated. Very hard not to sympathise with her here.
Ah, a reference to the one and only Monado Boy. Nice.
Kate’s words instantly being contradicted. Don’t we hate (or love, depending on the context) when that happens?
Okay, I was right about the Dyad part being a future conflict. Still, this soon? I wasn’t expecting that. No doubt the Dyad is Irune, meaning there’s more to her than meets the eye…
And boy, the action kicks in once the Grünhäuter show up. The desperation and terror is well felt among the bandits, and especially within Lyle. Enough that I felt the need to put this on. (Since this is meant to be a fic for Xeno references and all…)
So Alvin’s gone…taken away. How will this impact our characters from here, I wonder? (I guess he’s the Fiora/Mwamba archetype - a good friend charatcer to the protagonists, seems like they'll be a strong supporting character at first, only to be taken out of the picture early on.)
Great chapter. A lot happened in it, the mysteries pile up, and the emotional factor with Alvin’s capture by the soldiers helps to pile tension.
Chapter 4
The opening of this chapter embeds a feeling of loss after all that happened the previous chapter.
Lacan von Wellenhafen? A major antagonist, if I had to presume. No doubt he’s a face we’ll see again throughout the story.
The Samurott raised a forepaw and motioned off at another corridor on the wall left of the entrance they'd taken to find their place of refuge. Which as grounds plied by Wilders and subject to being blown away by the winds of the local Distortion was hardly a safe haven.
I feel like this line maybe could’ve been worded better. Something about it just doesn’t flow right to me, particularly the second line.
So Dalton and Artem are teaming up with Lyle, Irune and Kate. The pieces of our team are falling into place. (Like a party in Xenoblade, perhaps?)
The way Lyle’s remembering the Foehn Gang being broken up, I can’t help but wonder if we might get a flashback to that event in a future chapter. It would be interesting to know the circumstances of how that came to be.
The pondering over what seems to be a Poké Ball is quite interesting, especially the description of the interpretation of the item’s purpose.
Similarly fascinating is the logic of crumbled stairs signalling that a floor has shifted. It’s always fascinating hearing the different ways fics explain how their Mystery Dungeons work.
And the tension comes back again with the emergence of the Grünhäuter, once again capturing the terror and desperation of the Outlaws in full. But we see also their determination in the face of danger. Intriguing, though, is Irune’s display of skill with her afterimages. (A nod to Foresight from XC2, maybe? And now that I realise it, the soldiers chasing down Irune is similar-ish to everyone chasing down Pyra/Mythra in XC2 as well. So is Irune a reference to Pyra/Mythra, I wonder? Hmmm…)
The Traps are very well-utilised as a plot device, especially the Warp Trap in the Inteleon fight. Something that’s a mere annoyance in the games would be a worst-case scenario to trigger in a situation like that. The desperation is palpable, and we can definitely feel it with Dalton regarding the loss of Artem.
And now the four of them are a cohesive unit. The four on the banner artwork, notably.
With their departure from the Dungeon, that’s the end of another tense chapter. I enjoyed this one a lot as well.
Chapter 5
Klaus the Founder and Galea the Machinist, who founded their lands in this world. *claps*
Interesting, though - the way it’s framed here, it’s almost like the Reshiram/Zekrom conflict, with the truth and ideals conflict. Could Galea and Klaus be them respectively? (And also, how am I only now piecing together that the Varhyde-Edialeigh conflict is a reflection of the Bionis-Mechonis enmity in XC1?)
Interesting that despite being posted in March 2022, the four becoming fugitives is oddly similar to what happens to the main characters in XC3 in its first few chapters. Similarly also, is the seemingly endless war going on between Varhyde and Edialeigh - similar to Keves and Agnus’s endless war in XC3. That is quite the coincidence, alright, to capture a similar scenario of a game’s opening chapters a few months prior to its release.
Another reference: the Divine Roost, the same place where the Telethia dwells in Xenoblade X.
The way the four of them talk about looting a divine place does remind us that they are Outlaws and thus not exactly of a moral high standing. Still, that does make them more interesting as characters - a world of difference from morally righteous heroes in every regard. It makes it more compelling to see things from the other side - as seen with the thieving of scarves from the Hunters.
Okay, Irune’s a bit of a standoffish one. Seems she has a mean streak of her own. Also the fact that she explicitly stated that she wanted to pick the first item must mean it is definitely a Very Important Item™.
If Xenoblade 2’s journey to the World Tree was anything to go by, the seemingly simple path to the Divine Roost will be anything but…
Yep, that statue’s of a Reshiram. Guess my earlier hunch was correct. Interesting that Reshiram is regarded as female, though. And I like the portrayal of the moral dilemma of taking food left in shrines. Can’t help but wonder if that might come back to bite them later…Just an off-hand wondering.
Anyway, that’s the end of another chapter, where we now have our characters’ goal: to reach the Divine Roost. Another good one.
Chapter 6
Oh dear, an inspection. That’s not gonna end well.
Hm, it passed over. Still, the fact that the carriers were willing to bribe the guards makes me think they might be carrying illegal cargo just as the Roly-Poly Caravan were.
Why, there was even one specializing in playing cards with illustrations of Pokémon on them that had both youngsters and grown 'mons alike gawking at its wares.
Ah, adult fanboyism of kids' merchandise. I see it exists here too.
Oh, Lyle can do a cheerful smile! (Even if it is fake.)
So the sheriff’s a corrupt lot as well? Seems as though it comes a dime a dozen in this world.
Sheriff Vandamme…so this world has one too. (Notably, he’s a Stoutland - a reference to X’s Vandham is my guess, given his looks.)
I feel that some descriptions are a bit wordy, like the description of the tavern. I don’t think it needs all that to get the point across?
Hmm. I reckon the musicians’ song is definitely a reference to a Xeno song with lyrics. And based on Lyle’s reckoning that it has to with flying…Don’t Worry (the Skell Flight theme) from XCX?
With Team Forager, we finally have a name to call the gang of four. That name’s going to stick, I bet.
25,000 Poké?! (Do you want a kidney, as well?)
And it seems Lyle’s back to his old ways. Notably, though, he’s a bit more daring than they said he was back in the day. Still, so much for ‘just one job’.
And the end of another chapter. A bit less on action, this one, but still a good read.
Chapter 7
By the opening letter, it seems eyes are on our not-quite-heroes already. Oh dear…
I had a feeling the mention of a Kangaskhan named Oulen would come back later in the story. Guess that hunch was correct.
So Irune’s being taught the ways of the pickpocket. The title’s chapter makes sense now.
And the classic rookie mistake has been made: angering the merchant gods that are Kecleon. Something that any PMD character worth their salt Does Not Do.
I have a feeling the Great Spire’s a reference to something from Xenoblade. I can’t quite fathom what it might be, though.
Again, we’re reminded of the morally dubious nature of the Outlaws via taking money from a schoolboy. The Luxio and Manectric rivalry - is that an Explorers of Sky reference? That’s a nice touch if it is.
Dabohru returned - a surprise to me - and he’s being called a “furry volleyball”? Another neat reference. And intriguing how his leveraging power turns things on their head pretty quickly. Just like some of the shadier Nopon from Xenoblade…
And we end this chapter with things looking up for our not-heroes. Still, whatever can go wrong…
Chapter 8
…will go wrong. By this chapter’s title, getting that 15k’s going to be an uphill battle. Especially given that, as implied in the opening letter, they have eyes on them. (Once again, there’s a strange similarity with Xenoblade 3’s first few chapters despite the fact this was written before the game released, with the whole ‘villains know where the on-the-run heroes are.’) Also the fact they refer to the Dyad as ‘our Aegis’ is more proof to my theory that Irune’s meant to be a Pyra/Mythra reference.
Ouch, that Brick Break would do a number on Kate, given her type.
Ah, the classic Xenoblade strategy, worked into motion here. Only thing they’re missing is Dazing the Scrafty. Or Launching and then Smashing him.
Kate peeling off the Scrafty’s shed skin? Geez, talk about kicking a ‘mon while he’s down. Also made for a good moment of comedy, I felt.
Another nice nod to Xenoblade X with the “let's find the key we've lost" line.
The division over money and Irune getting the shortest change makes me wonder if it might have an impact further down the line. Will this eventually become a point of contention, and will Irune eventually protest about it if it continues in this fashion? Especially if she becomes more of an asset to the team, I could see her demanding her fair share.
Oh, Alvin returned? I knew we wouldn’t see the last of him! Probably the same with Artem, too. And he’s to be conscripted? Oh no…There’ll be a rescue to save him in future, I reckon.
And actions have consequences. Now our not-heroes have yet more enemies on their plate.
Once again, another chapter that was quite compelling. Good action and teamwork in this one, as well as the emotional side of things with Alvin coming back.
Chapter 9
The opening text implies that humans being PMD’d is a thing in this world. I bet we’ll see one at one point, if this text is being brought up at all.
Gotta love the rookie heroism shown by Team Pathfinder to the point of cringe. It’s interesting seeing this kind of conflict from the other side, though, when from the Outlaws’ PoV, we find ourselves agreeing with them that this lot are a bunch of dweebs. And while not the strongest ‘mon in the world, they do prove to be a persistent bunch.
Also, I just realised Bel is an allusion to L from XCX, with his ‘our’ mannerisms and even “our head is spinning." Nice nod to one of my favourite characters from the series!
And chaos ensues. I quite liked the setup for that.
Yes! Nils finally gets his comeuppance! Pity we can’t see matters through due to the fact that the group are in a hurry.
Boy, Lacan and the Grünhäuter sure make for a fearsome presence whenever they show up. And especially now, when they’re in the air. It does help to build fear, moreso with Hermes being a wary ally.
The flashbacks of Lyle’s life shed a bit more light on his character. Not a happy life, by the sounds of it. Little wonder he became a thief.
The Quilava looked back towards the undergrowth as the approaching rustling grew louder and louder, before looking back at the vines. Reflexively, the Quilava latched onto them and slid down into the fog, jumping down and feeling his feet land on damp stone.
I think using ‘the Quilava’ twice to describe Lyle for these two back-to-back sentences looks a bit off. Just a slight nitpick.
So quite a tense chapter, involving brushes with Hunters and old enemy Grünhäuter. This was a fun read full of tension, and I’m looking forward to seeing what happens from here.
Lacan might be something of a sympathetic character after all, the way he talks about fleeing his home and Sophia comforting him during his lowest moments. What happened, I wonder?
So Irune’s showing signs of reawakening, is she? Perhaps that was what the unexpected show of power was back in the Team Pathfinder fight. It sounds like she’s in the process, too, so we might see more displays of power from her as time goes on. I wonder what those will be?
I get the feeling the symbols in Primordial Woods are a reference to something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly they are.
I guess Primordial Woods lives up to its name with its Fossil Wilders. Oh, and they’re in a Monster House? Oh boy…
And Discharge continues to be OP as hell in Monster Houses. A must-have move in PMD, that.
I suppose if Wilders can talk in this world, then of course the potential to recruit them would be there. But why, Irune? Why did you scare that Cranidos off?! Honestly, I sympathise with Dalton and Kate here. Missed potential for a new recruit right there. (Curious - is that a sideways reference to Cabot from Casting Off? He had the same sort of eagerness to him.)
And the end of the chapter, with what looks to be a doozy of a Dungeon ahead of them. Once again, an engaging chapter.
Chapter 11
The ruins in the Primeval Forest sound incredibly interesting, the way concrete pylons are mentioned. Perhaps a great city once dwelled there?
Bet any money Rankar’s the head honcho of the forest. Though the divisions brought amongst the Wilders are fascinating…
Nice moment from Lyle with his taunt after burning the Rampardos.
Geez, that was a close call. One of these days, they’re gonna be cut off…
Aww, Irune’s starting to feel connected with the gang. They might not seem like the best of friends now, but these four will be as thick as thieves (intentional pun) by the end of this adventure.
‘The past repeating itself’...I wonder if this is a reference to the Balance Bandits, or might it be something deeper in Irune’s past?
Boy, Lyle’s bitterness is palpable, alright. Worsened by the horrid weather as well. Though it seems just like Irune was worried about him, he’s worried about her. They’re getting more closely knit as a group.
The picture’s looking quite bleak for Team Forager. Sometimes, though, the beauty of these hopeless situations is how our heroes manage to find a way out of them.
Chapter 12
And now for the new chapter, released while I was in the midst of reading this fic. I’ve enjoyed this so far, though - I’m not against reading more.
An Aegis and an Endbringer? I see the references - though I wonder what they mean in this universe.
Now we meet Rankar, the beast that rules over this place. This one’s going to be a challenge, alright.
And I was right.
Gods above, Dalton’s injuries look serious. Will they be permanent? Hopefully not…
But now we see Irune’s powers come into their own. Seems it’s an in extremis thing, like most powers (and indeed, how Mythra comes out within Pyra. Another connection between them and our Axew).
Damn. Seems Rankar’s more sympathetic than I first thought. And with grandchildren too…
Oh no, looks like Dalton’s injuries are really serious… ;-; Will he pull through?
Yep, big Pyra/Mythra vibes from Irune right here. Makes me wonder, then, just what her intentions for going to the Divine Roost are. (Because if they’re anything like those two, then…hmm…)
And the end of another tense action-packed chapter, in which one of the four’s lives hangs in the balance.
Conclusion
This was a lot of fun to read! The story and characters were engaging, it showed an interesting viewpoint from the Outlaws’ side of things, and did a good job of showing off various intrigues of its world. Plus, it generates intrigue for who characters are, which I always love to see in fics. Each one is quite engaging, and notably, none of them really possess heroic attributes given their Outlaw tendencies. That makes them intriguing, and fitting their characters perfectly.
And the Xenoblade references. I loved them. Definitely a lot of these moments while reading this:
And now that Xenoblade 3’s out, there might possibly.be references from that game to spot in upcoming chapters.
Faults? Not many, to be honest - I'm not really that kind of reviewer. I suppose if I had to pick, some descriptions are a bit wordy and overlong, and sometimes don’t quite convey their image the best. And the German goes a bit over my head, sometimes to the point of “Is this necessary?” Having to go back to the glossary every time can be a pain.
But it is what it is. And hey, writers are allowed to be self-indulgent if they wish to be. The language thing is interesting, no doubt. I hear Fledglings has more diverse languages than just German; that might well compel me to read that one in the near future.
(Apologies if this was a bit wordy. Still fairly new to reviewing.)
An excellent job - gladly adding this to my recommended list. Keep up the good work!
Hey, Fobbie! I enjoyed reading Once a Thief last year for Blitz, so I wanted to catch up on it again this year. There's a pretty solid run of chapters here that I missed out on--nice job keeping the updates coming, although I know they haven't been quite as frequent as you wanted.
You've really been keeping your characters on their toes--not a lot of opportunty for rest and relaxation while you're on the run with one of the most sought-after pokémon in the country, heh. It can be a difficult balance to strike, keeping the action coming and tension high without exhausting your readers. I thought this went better in some parts of this section than others, which I discuss a little more below, but I do always enjoy a chase story and how stress and exhaustion can push characters into interesting places. Lyle and Irune continue to feel like the "main" characters out of our gang of four, having the only POV segments out of Team Forager and the most obvious character conflict. Lyle is really not having a good time and regretting everything about getting back into the outlaw life, but of course by now it's way too late for him to hope to go back to berry picking. I feel like that's bound to boil over in an ugly way at some point (and there's still the matter of Lyle's pending evolutio...), and I'm looking forward to it! I do wonder where his life's going to go from here, regardless of the potential success of the Divine Roost mission. Irune, too, obviously has some real issues working with outlaws, and understandably so; Team Forager may have saved her, but they are in many ways Not Nice. I liked how the tension in that relationship came to the fore during this set of chapters, and again, I figure that with her, too, there's some kind of breaking point on the horizon. I'm curious how her status as the Dyad and having some connection to Reshiram/Zekrom might play into her understanding of these outlaws as people and what's really "moral" in a situation as complicated as this.
I also like Irune and Lyle's relationship in general; they seem to be the two most conflicted members of the team, and to some extent probably sense that in each other. Lyle feels protective of Irune even when he's furious with her, and she seems closest to him despite e.g. him letting her down over the Alvin thing. I'm definitely interested in seeing how their dynamic develops as time goes on and, especially, Irune's powers manifest. In the end I think she'll be able to hold her own much better than Lyle, heh.
Dalton continues to be a bit of an enigma, but I'm glad that we're starting to learn a little more about him in recent chapters. And Kate is Kate, lol. I'll be curious to see whether she ends up getting a more pronounced arc later in the fic, but she really doesn't need it; she works just fine as the team's troublemaker and most inveterate scofflaw.
I'm also interested in your characterization of the soldiers in this fic. From your previous work I know that you like to show off some of the "bad guys'" perspective--which in some sense is what this fic is, although it's really more like both sides are morally gray. Despite the army as a whole being the obvious villain in this story and the individual soldiers we've seen not exactly being friendly people themselves, of course they still have their own relationships that are meaningful to them and don't spend 100% of their time tormenting the populace. Sophia seems pretty well set up here to eventually become sympathetic to Team Forager (already sympathetic to Irune!) and help them out when the chips are down. I look forward to seeing where her character arc goes and how Lacan deals with her sudden but inevitable betrayal, heh.
I enjoyed the Moonturn Square cameos--and I'm guessing I missed most of them! Since I understand this fic makes a fair number of references to video game franchises I'm not familiar with, heh. But it was a lot of fun seeing a certain competitive arcanine and rapidash pair in particular! I was a little unclear on why Team Forager kept trying to get Irune to steal, though--was the idea that all of them would need to bring in some cash in order to make the huge payment to Hermes? Otherwise I'm not sure they were so insistent on it--like, they need Irune to pull her weight, but they're also, as we see elsewhere in this run of chapters, pretty pragmatic types. I'm not clear on why they didn't decide to shelve thief-training for now when it became clear that the amount of time they were spending on it was going to make it hard for them to pull off enough scores to collect all the money they needed.
The glimpse the group caught of Alvin, meanwhile, was wonderful; really painful scene where Lyle has to watch his friend get dragged off to a horrible fate for a second time. A real tough situation for everyone involved. I loved the horrible calculations Lyle had to run and how dismayed Irune was by the group's decision to leave Alvin behind. This was a scene that really drove the title of the fic home; you can imagine heroes would leap into action to save their friend, whatever the odds, but these guys aren't heroes. I can't imagine this is the last we'll see of Alvin, and I'm looking forward to what happens when he turns up again. I wonder how he'll feel about Lyle leaving him behind? As an outlaw himself, he can surely understand the pragmatic considerations of that choice... but that's still the sort of thing that kinda stings when it's happening to you. All in all the little bit with Alvin was my favorite part of the Moonturn Square arc.
In general, the Moonturn Square arc felt a little drawn out to me. I enjoyed Irune's thieving sequences, but there were a lot of scenes that mostly felt like Team Forager fighting and/or running away from things, which felt a bit repetitive to me after a while. For example, it's logical enough that Lyle would encounter Nils here, and I imagine he'll be back later, too, so keeping him present in readers' minds makes sense. However, I didn't really feel like his battle with Lyle did all that much for Lyle's character or for progression of the plot, and by that point there'd been lots of fights and narrow escapes, so I wasn't super pumped to see another that didn't feel like it stood out much from the rest. I was almost as ready to get out of Moonturn Square as Team Forager!
Primeval Forest is a lot of fun! I always love getting to see fossil 'mons come out and play a bit in fics, but in a lot of settings they can be difficult to incorporate. I like that you not only got to show them off plenty here, but their presence is tied deeply into the worldbuilding and background of this story. I will admit that I didn't recognize the name/logo of the lab that the mystery dungeon grew out of--not sure if that's me not being familiar with your other work, if it's a canon thing I'm just missing, or a reference to a franchise I'm not familiar with, but I was not picking up what you were putting down there, heh. But I also enjoyed that traversing this dungeon involved a lot of nice character development beyond the fun scene-setting. Team Forager has been running and gunning basically since they all first met up, and it's really starting to put a serious strain on the team dynamics. Irune's behavior towards the cranidos and vocal disdain for outlaws has definitely driven a wedge between her and the rest of the group, as well as dragging up some of Lyle's insecurity and resentment at having turned and then returned to the outlaw life, and all it's cost him. We even got a couple hints as to Dalton's background and began to see exactly why the army's been chasing Irune all over the continent.
I did particularly enjoy the cranidos scene; I was totally expecting that recruitment to happen, and was thinking to myself, "another cranidos, really? lmao, I'm here for it," but Irune chasing the guy off was a fun twist not only for the character development mentioned above but just as a fun subversion of expectations. Poor little dino, though, I hope he finds somebody else to help him escape from dino dystopia.
I think this run of chapters ended off strong. You've set up some interesting conflicts among the main cast that I imagine they'll be wrestling with for a while, Irune's started manifesting her crazy powers, which I can only imagine are going to cause more conflict going forward, and we're moving on to somewhere new and more perilous. I found the Moonturn Square chapters more difficult to get into, but Primeval Forest was a lot more interesting to me and ended off particularly well with a nicely tense battle against the tyrantum and more moral dilemmas, my favorite thing. I'm not sure how long you intend for this fic to be, but from the way things have progressed I'd guess we're at somewhere between 1/3 edging up close to halfway done by this point. I think things are developing nicely and the most recent chapter's pointing in an interesting direction; can't promise I'll stay caught up by any means, but I do hope to be able to come back and check in on this story now and again!
So I've been meaning to check this fic out! I'm familiar with your work through Fledglings, which I got really into back in the day. But it's also been a long time since I last touched it, and the current version on TR isn't yet caught up to where I left off. So I figured I'd check this fic out instead for Review Blitz. What I know going in, besides the summary, is that apparently it involves a lot of Xeno references, which I'm definitely down for! I also originally was under the impression that this shared a world with Fledglings; it wasn't until recently that I found out that wasn't the case. Though there still seems to be a lot of elements in common, so I've found it pretty easy to adjust so far. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's actually get to the review!
Thoughts from the Prologue to Chapter 3
The Prologue works as a pretty good setup chapter. You do a really good job of giving us a glimpse into this world and the troubles of those who live in it, with a lot of attention to detail that doubles both as worldbuilding and as context for why Lyle decides to join Kate for one last raid. In general you have a talent for crafting believable, interesting worlds, and that's on full display here.
Chapter 1 gives us a brief intro of how Mystery Dungeons work in this setting, which if I recall doesn't seem too different from Fledglings. We also get our intro to the various gangs. The bit with the red and green scarves was a cute way to establish that some Pokémon have natural colorblindness in this setting, and the leaders of these gangs are all pretty suitably intimidating. And Lyle, in true Protagonist fashion, takes on the Samurott :P. Though I did think it made sense for him to, and the battle scene here is well done in establishing how Lyle works in combat, which is definitely important considering how battle heavy these next couple chapters end up being.
It seems like we have most of the main cast by the end of Chapter 1. Lyle strikes me as someone who wants to go back to living a decent life, but life itself has other plans. He definitely has an edge to him, though he doesn't strike me as a particularly bad guy, just someone who's hard on his luck and is ultimately used to this kind of life. Kate seems like much more of a free-spirit by comparison, and then there's Alvin, who I don't feel I have that good a grasp on, but his excitement at having Lyle around would almost be wholesome if they weren't bandits. Dalton definitely has some mystery surrounding him, though he seems pretty reliable so far, especially in battle. As for Artem, I feel like I haven't really gotten to see enough of him yet to form any opinions. We're definitely starting off with a sizeable cast, and I'd say right now most of my understanding comes from their relationships with each other that have been established so far.
The Xeno references are definitely pretty fun so far! I'm assuming you chose German as a reference to Xenosaga, and the world being built on the premise of two warring nations is probably meant to be a nod to the main three Xenoblade games (though I can't help but wonder what they're fighting over). And then, of course, there's the Roly-Poly Caravan, with its very clear nopon flavoring. You captured their speaking patterns more or less perfectly in my eyes. I recognize Zazadan from Xenoblade 1, and the detail of having Dabohru riding an Aerodactyl is a particularly cheeky way to reference the way nopon rode ekidnos in that game (and even cheekier is using Dedeba and Bana's japanese names to hide them in plain sight). And of course they're dealing in Not!Red Pollen Orbs! I expect that there will inevitably be a giant mech at some point, because it simply isn't a Xeno game if there isn't at least one plot-important giant mech somewhere.
Chapter 2 is basically one giant battle scene, and I found it pretty engaging! The build up was well handled, and while the fight scene was long it was also very dynamic with constantly changing circumstances, so it never got old or felt like it dragged. Our thieves definitely got more than they bargained for here, and of course, the main party manages to form in the chaos. I was wondering how Dalton would get involved when he didn't seem to have much connection to rest of the party, but now I see how the circumstances built up some respect between him and Lyle, which will inevitably pay off in the future.
money in royal Carolins and Poké issued by the Colorswap Consortium,
I was under the impression that Carolins replaced Poké as the currency in this setting! I'm assuming this ties into the class divide you've established. Speaking of the class divide, using German as the "language of nobility" is an interesting way to handle the multilang element in a way that's unique from how Fledglings uses it.
Irune brings the plot with her! She insists she's telling the truth, though obviously I can't help but wonder, considering that she left out her status as "The Dyad." I have a couple of theories based on that name, but I haven't gotten to see that much of her character yet, so I'll keep 'em to myself for now.
"You might as well have said the army was after you because you're a human who can see visions of the future."
I like how this works both as a reference to Shulk and the PMD Explorer's protagonist at the same time.
The thieves really got more than what they bargained for! If I have a minor complaint with the Chapter 3 battle, it's that I was initially under the impression that the Pocket was smaller than it actually ended being, so when the battle happened I found I was struggling to really get a sense of place for where everyone was. Though it was definitely an intense scene! Ford is missing now, and it seems like Myra might be dead after that. And as for Alvin, I was wondering why he wasn't in the fic banner. I don't expect that he's dead, but he's definitely not going to be reappearing anytime soon, and it hurts to see Lyle so distraught over it. though does this mean something's going to happen to Artem too?
"Being able to come back from a tough spot like when Parker nicked there you can mean the difference between coming back to camp with loot, or getting staring down the likes of hard labor or conscription."
I feel like this was intentional, but it's also kind of weird, since Dalton was already established as being in the scene.
So things are picking up pretty quickly in this fic! A lot's happened so far, and I feel that there's a lot of room for theorycrafting with what you've given just in these first few chapters. There's a lot of interesting teases: the chapter openings in particular give me a lot to chew on. I'm under the impression that the two "gods" involved are Reshiram and Zekrom, and I'm interested to see where some of these plot threads go. Which is to say that I'm definitely adding this to my reading list for the future!
Hello Fobbie! I'm here with a review for chapter 4: Remnant. I believe I'll be caught up with you after this? Either way, I'll be upfront: it was a really hard chapter for me to read. The combat really dragged this chapter, especially with how the prose isn't succinct. The fact that the chapter was 13k words according to TR didn't help either. An eighth of a long novel shouldn't be spent on two battles and light exploration, especially since this is early in the story Not that the events in the chapter are bad: in fact, what you had in the chapter itself was pretty good. I'm just worried if I can keep up this review trade for many more chapters as the prose is becoming a chore to read. I'll go into more details but something in me felt like it was important to be upfront and transparent. I hope you don't stop writing though: attention problems and reading comprehension problems just mean slow prose affects me disproportionally.
I do have some good things to say though, I promise! And I'm sure you've probably improved in prose since chapter 4 but I can only write about what I've read :(. I'll break my review into random categories. I have read the ff.net version of this story for this review.
Clean-cut errors I found:
- "There to her astonishment , was Lyle coming" (misplaced space)
- "Irune looking away with a quiet murmur No, no gottverdammt" (missing period or quotation?)
- "Evidently even with his armor, the wave had evidently been as painful as it looked." (not an actual error but I'm sure you didn't want to use "evidently" twice in the same sentence)
- "There in the soggy aftermath was the Poison-type struggled to get back up when" (wrong verb form)
- "The Water-type froze with a wince and grabbed at his fresh burn, the Quilava watching as he whirled about with gritted teeth." (I'm sure "at" is the incorrect proposition, it should say "grabbed his fresh burn", and the second half of the sentence had an ambiguous "he")
- "The Heliolisk looked back at him peered down at him" (self-explanatory)
- "he saw water and smooth walls about him , but most curiously" (misplaced space)
- "Lyle flattened his ears out and felt his flames flicker with an annoyed frown" (It reads like the flames have an annoyed frown)
Prose and clarity
I find the chapter's prose problems are the sum of many, many small things adding up. One thing I've noticed in particular is that sentences tend to be really long in general and a couple of them are run-on sentences. Here's one egregious example:
"The Quilava at first couldn't make out what the Dragon-Type was pointing at with his vision, and took a few steps over, when the burnt smell got noticeably stronger and noticed that part of the wall had been blasted away with scorch marks around a spot a few paces away."
The sentences get long because the prose isn't succinct, but mostly it and others should be broken up into multiple sentences. Too many ideas are being expressed at once. My mental images get strained and the information blurs together. One sentence could have just been Lyle failing to see the source of the smell. A second could have been him coming closer and noticing the smell, and the third could have been the physical description. There's many ways this could be chopped up but I just wanted to give an example.
I find a good rule of thumb is to never express four ideas in a single paragraph (ie no more than three clauses - ideas separated/joined by commas or conjunctions), and don't do anything more than two simple ideas and one complex idea ("he went indoors (1), saw his friend (2), and pondered hard about the meaning of life in a cold uncaring universe (3)"). This is just a guideline I use to just spot potential run-on sentences so this isn't a universal truth, just something you might find useful. Lists are obviously an exception.
There is a lot of filtering. Filtering is when you don't describe the world directly but describe the characters experiencing (seeing, smelling, noticing, feeling, etc) the world - "I saw the sun rose over the hill" vs. "the sun rose over the hill". It's almost always redundant and generally consider straight-up bad form. It adds words without real value and can even take some readers out of the story. This is especially bad in action as it adds clutter to the visualization, but I'll get to that.
There are also a couple of meaningless adjectives. Words like "visibly" and "noticeably" are such examples; a character isn't going to see invisible things, and something has to be noticeable if the characters can witness it. Evidently is another example. It's important to keep an eye out for these and make sure it isn't something that's self-evident by definition or obviously inferable.
A lot of actions are described that aren't actually important or necessary to point out. Characters turning around is the best example I can point out. Characters turning is described often; "turn" shows up 34 times in the chapter and roughly half of them are used in the context of characters turning, and "whirl" gets used about 5 times in the context of characters turning. Readers will generally assume the orientation of characters, especially if the character is turning in response to a threat or someone speaking. Even if a reader ends up visualizing a character facing a different way than is intended: does it matter? It's very rare for it to be specified for the sake of the scene making sense. Although if it is needed for this case, you do use it then. (Also, I do find there are a few times describing a character turning is best for flow but that never felt the case in this chapter)
There are a few more examples, usually characters looking in a non-description context or just involuntary body motions/mundane reactions. I personally find these kinds of specific details make it a bit harder to visualize the scene instead of being immersed in it; the bigger picture ends up getting lost.
Overall, I feel the writing just simply uses too many words for simple things. For example, "Lyle said nothing for a long while, before turning his eyes away and letting a grudging croak of a reply come from his mouth" - It's really unwieldy. It can just be shortened to "Lyle said nothing for a long while, before looking away and replying with a grudging croak." That's easier to read without changing anything that's actually said (the nuance between his eyes and potentially his head turning I don't think speaks enough of a difference to his emotions). If you wanted to emphasize the long pause, it would have been a good opportunity to use description; use some of the environment to add to the tone, or show more of his body language. It definitely doesn't need to say words come from people's mouths though.
Slow and unclear prose is exacberated in action/combat scenes. Visualization is not a simple mental task (hence why books take more brain power than TV). A scene needs to be constantly built and modified while information is tracked and changed and added and do this with a short-term memory that can only hold five things at a time, as we also visually process letters into words and then meaning. And we do this with six characters at once doing stuff in different states of damage and emotion. Every piece of information, important or otherwise, makes it harder to visualize, and all these small prose issues and unimpactful details obfuscate what's really going on in the scene. For example, when Nidoking uses earthquake, I'm told that the world seemed to spin, Dalton is briefly seen by Lyle, Dalton has the wind taken out of him, Lyle doubted that his other teammates were doing much better, a flash of blue is overhead, Lyle hurried up to his feet, Lyle looked up, Artem is zipping over him, and that Artem has squawked at the hostile Poison-type. I have forgotten there is a Nidoking by the end of this paragraph because so much of the focus was on visualizing Lyle's many sensations. I'm not kidding! I had to read back and remind myself what the Nindoking was doing and where! It may be easier for others but it's really difficult to keep track of all this information, and most of it is trying to accomplish the same or similiar thing. All the action needed to do in this paragraph was describe Nidoking causing an earthquake and what that looked like, all characters tossing around and maybe groaning in pain, then Artem blurring overhead to squawk back.
There's another reason one needs to say more with less words in action: tension deflates pretty quickly when you give the reader time. If Lyle (or at least the prose) has the time to see x, notice y, see z, and maybe feel w before the next action, the reader will sit back and not feel the danger or a sense of immediacy. But you keep the prose on the edge of its seat, the reader will be on the edge of their seat. There will be less details described, but those will be filled in by the reader's imagination, and whatever emotions characters are feeling won't need to be described in depth cause a fully immersed reader will be feeling those themself.
Thinking back, my favourite parts of this story have been the non-action stuff. The entire prologue, Lyle gathering to the outlaw tryouts, and the big feast everyone had in the previous chapters are all the moments I remember. I think its the prose isn't so bad and distracting for those moments even though it can still be improved. On the flip side, I can only remember a single image of all the fights that have happened, and I can't remember how the Nidoking fight went at all this chapter, just because of all the non-stuff I had to sift through. O remember the Intelleon needing its armour slashed open but not what happens between that and Dalton shocking him. There's missed sniper shots.
Okay sorry for the 1000+ words on clarity and prose, I hope you forgive me. I have a feeling the next few chapters might take it easy on the fighting so I am looking forward to that, hopefully. Anyways, I have other stuff to talk about! I promise! Some of it is even positive, I swear!
Italics
Italics are used too often. They stop being meaningful as emphasis if used more than twice every 5k words, especially if used in dialogue that would already be naturally emphasized by its speakers. I've also realized a reason why italics should be held back unique to your story: there are a few times when I got confused if words were italicized because they were emphasized or if italicized because they were foreign words.
The Dalton Stairs Incident (I don't have a better title)
There was a moment in the story where Dalton refuses to go down to the stairs in desperation of losing more allies. This moment is amazing. That said volumes about Dalton's character and me interested in seeing how it'll get resolved. It's then resolved by him getting hit and "pinwheeling" into the stairs. I lowkey appreciate that the writing took a simple approach to something the others may not convince him out of, but its such a goofy, cartoonish, and contrived moment that it shatters the tone that otherwise is very solid throughout the entire chapter. Maybe comic relief was the point in which case kudos, but if not, uh, don't have him ragdoll out of his problems :x
Past that, him clawing at the sealed stairs was an absolutely brilliant moment. That moment and his unwillingness to move on is the most memorable part of the chapter of him.
Tone
I think the tone was really solid this chapter. Throughout, I got a sense that the outlaws were cleanly outmatched, and any encounter was something to dread. I was hoping they didn't get into encounters and when they were, I got an uneasy feeling that things won't go well. A lot of this was from how overwhelming they were in the last chapter, but it carries here too. Once they're free from immediate danger, I felt a race against time. The ambiguity of the fates of those left behind also helped with the dread, as well as how well the numbers dwindled over the story.
The human relic was also intriguing. It's especially interesting cause the protagonist isn't human (although my headcanon is that Irune is human-turned-Pokemon until proven otherwise), but humans still have an influence in the backstory, so I'm left wondering more. It was a bit out of nowhere, but I don't think that's really an issue.
That being said, I'm pretty sure Irune has a hand in the fact the army is so focused on these outlaws, and I feel like the characters and writing doesn't acknowledge this possibility enough. It just feels like an elephant in the room. Or I'm wrong, but then why does Irune feel so special?
Characters
I think individual army soldiers are a bit bland, feeling more like cartoon villains then people with a purpose to go after our protagonists. That being said, and this goes with the last section, they feel component, which is super pleasant and keeps some interest to them.
I think my favourite part about this chapter was that other characters got more spotlight. I loved reading more about Kate (although I'm totally biased) and her interactions with stuff, and I found more depth to Dalton than I was expecting. I think this is great, especially since Lyle got the focus he needed leading up to this but got put relatively into the backseat at the right time for the other characters to start having their time to be fleshed out.
Final thoughts
I hope you don't mind going on about prose and clarity. It really, really stuck out to me and I had a loooot of words (13k!!) to read so it really, really stuck out to me and I had a lot of time to analyze it. And it really bums me out, because even though the execution isn't hitting it for me, I still love everything deeper past the surface. I'm really hoping the prose improves as chapters go along cause this is still the story that has the most interesting elements to me. I said I am worried if I can keep continuing but that's a case of can and can not; I have limited time and I don't think it's healthy for me if it's an unpleasant experience of confusion and exhaustion. I'm concerned if I can keep doing this. But deep down I want to know more about what happens, that's what will let me try at least one more chapter, and I certainly do think it's strong with its strengths (tone, characters, and how it interacts with the setting). I'm hoping the prose improves as I read, and I'm really hoping this long review can help you in some shape or form.
Um… wow, that’s quite a bit of feedback to respond to. I’m at once flattered and reminded why I should make a point of trying to stick closer to that monthly update schedule. ^^;
Doesn’t look like Lyle’s in the best of positions economically. I think it’s easy to see this as a motivator for him to get back into the thieving business. He seems a bit of a grump - an interesting character, no doubt.
He just needs to turn that frown upside down. Even if that’s a bit easier said than done in his present life circumstances. ^^;
This war that’s talked about seems like a hum in the distance. But no doubt it’ll come to the forefront in time. I foresee overlapping of conflict in the future. Maybe Lyle'll be levied? Possibly?
I mean, full disclosure, but this story was envisioned as a very “homefront” story. That said the story goes out of its way to try and emphasize that even if you don’t have soldiers from another nation literally breathing down your neck, that the effects of a forever war aren’t easily escapable.
But hey, I wouldn’t have brought up this war if it was going to completely remain disconnected from the cast’s lives. What that looks like, I’ll decline to state for the time being.
A Persian banker - just like in Rescue Team. And yep, the motivation to turn to thievery is coming in hot and fast. (Because Lyle’s a Fire-type, get it?)
Technically, the Persian is a paymaster and not a banker. But close enough in terms of how "popular" he’d be with everyday people.
Apricorns exist here, and their application is quite interesting. So Poké Balls (a more primitive version of them, at least) are in this world? And using them to trap Pokémon to starve them to death? That’s a very unique way to apply them in a Pokémon-only setting. Kudos!
So the ferals (or Wilders as they’re known as in this world) can talk in this universe. Fascinating - that’s a bit different from the norm.
Yeah, I’ll admit that OaT shares a healthy amount of its worldbuilding basics from Fledglings since it happens to be relatively close to how I imagine the nuts and bolts of the canon PMD setting working and I’m a hack like that. That said, I did try to make sure things weren’t a straight xerox, so you’ll ideally be noticing a few quirks to this setting and its mechanics that aren’t shared with the Cradle. The shameless Xeno references help a bit on that front.
Nils seems like a smug prick, alright. By his example, the Soldiers might well come out to be one of the main antagonist groups in this.
Wouldn’t be an Outlaw PoV story if the cast wasn’t butting heads with the fuzz, really.
Geez, Nils is definitely punch-his-face material. Toll payments like that on an already poor soul? Already can’t wait for his comeuppance. A character named Oulen and her joey is mentioned here - a Kangaskhan, I’m presuming. (We might see them in future, maybe?)
As a general rule of thumb, but unless if the name of a character or a place is a transparent reference of some sort, it’ll pop up onscreen at some point. Even then, there’s a healthy number of characters and places with transparent reference naming that appear onscreen, so keep your eyes peeled.
And now in comes Kate to seal the deal on Lyle’s return to the Outlaw life. A teasing sort, she seems to be. I like her already.
Yeah, I have to give some credit to the Blacklight campaign onsite here for giving a platform to beta test her character and iron some of the kinks out. Not all of the details of Kate as depicted there made it into the final, hard canon, but it definitely helped me make sure that I was nailing the “freewheeling troublemaker” vibe I wanted from her.
This first chapter is quite good. The characters are compelling, and Lyle’s situation is a sympathetic one, so naturally, we’re inclined as viewers to support him.
I mean, some of that was admittedly “outrunning the bear”, since in a more conventional story with a less unsettled setting, Lyle would probably be an early-story boss that’d get wrecked for a payout. But that was very much a deliberate meta setup, and I’m happy to hear that it seems to be paying off for you.
If there are drawbacks, I’d say sometimes the descriptions are a bit too descriptive sometimes, when a little less would’ve sufficed. And I wouldn’t say I’m too engaged with the setting yet, with all the terms introduced. Although these could just be first chapter things that’ll be resolved in time as we get more engrossed with the characters and the world.
Yeeeeeah, that’s a bit of a weakness of mine as a writer that I’m still grappling with, though glad to hear that the Prologue was fun for you.
Chapter 1
Ah yes, the ‘faking a stomachache to get out of work early’. One of the oldest excuses in the book. Relatable - we’ve all done it at some point in our lives.
It wouldn’t be a PMD story without “having a stomachache” getting trotted out as a transparent excuse to skip out of a job you don’t want to do. :V
I notice not too much detail is put into the Mystery Dungeon’s description, and Lyle and Kate travelling six floors is casually mentioned in passing over to get to the meat of action. Perhaps this is for the better - after all, sections like that can get boring to viewers over time.
I mean, I tried with the “totally not Vilia Lake” surroundings, but yeah. Most people aren’t interested in seeing dungeoneering in blow-by-blow detail, so I figured that it wouldn’t be the end of the world to skip around a bit when in Mystery Dungeons in this story. Especially since their main meta purpose in the plot is to function as riskier spatial shortcuts to skip out on traveling long distances overland.
The existence of Pockets is fascinating. A thieves’ hideout being within them is quite a neat idea. After all, that’d make detecting them a lot harder for the authorities.
You likely recognized this same concept in your Fledglings readthrough as “stable zones”, I probably should’ve thought of a snappier name for them back in the day in that story, but meh. Helps with story differentiation.
Though TL/DR, Pockets in Once a Thief are the equivalent of those save point areas in the canonical games, since when making assumptions that dungeon encounters are sapient and the floors get wiped and redone periodically, they would need places that aren’t affected to actually lay down and sleep at some point.
What can I say? I’m a sucker for doing those when I can.
Also interesting mentioning that certain species are colourblind. Gives each one a bit more depth. I can’t help but suppose something at this point, though: this could become a plot point in future. Something like that could give leeway for a mistake to be made, based on the fact that some species are colourblind.
Yeah, I generally tried to model sensory abilities of different Pokémon after their IRL counterpart creatures if they had any. As such, Lyle, Kate, and a good swath of mammalian Pokémon in OaT’s world are red-green colorblind since they have dichromatic vision, while Dalton and likely also Irune would have tetrachromatic vision and as such be able to see our full visual range, plus some UV-related hues that only a small subset of humans can perceive IRL.
Dalton possibly being of a noble background is another point of interest. There’s a backstory there, no doubt.
And we quickly see that it’s a tough job being an outlaw in gangs like these. Having to duel against the gang leaders to earn a place in a job sounds pretty rough. Hard not to sympathise with the lower brass here.
To be fair from an Outlaw’s perspective, but you want grunts that aren’t incompetent weaklings that will need to be carried while on the job. A bit of good old-fashioned sparring to sift the wheat from the chaff is a handy means to that end.
I do have a slight nitpick with the line “And you're a gutsy one, and that Smokescreen of yours was timed so well…” I’m not against beginning a sentence with ‘And’, but having it occur twice so near each other in the same line makes it feel slightly awkward in my view. A very small nitpick in the grand scheme of things, though.
I went back and tweaked this, thank you for drawing it to my attention.
“The Roly-Poly Caravan?” Ah! A Xenoblade reference! And a bunch of Togedemaru merchants that talk weirdly? Yep, a dead ringer for Nopon, alright. My day has been made.
That obvious, huh? But yeah, the Nopon stand-in were cast as Togedemaru since at the time of initial publishing, they were the closest contenders for furry volleyballs in the species roster and have a bit of a silly and cutesy look in their own right.
A reference to Shiren the Wanderer. Okay, sure, why not?
Yeah, I’m kinda a hack in that regard, but I consider it a calling card of my PMD writings to include little nods to other MD series in them, even if it kinda got swamped in focus by the obvious star of the show for shout-outs in OaT. There’s actually another nod of this sort in today’s chapter, so have fun finding it.
Interesting that Lyle seemed to be the careful one back when he was still a thief. Wonder if that’ll carry over?
Well, all things are relative for criminal enterprise. Though this will ideally come through, even if I can’t necessarily guarantee that Lyle will stay that way through the full run, since hey, stories tend to get boring if characters remain static.
I’ll admit, this actually originated as a typo of a cameo of a place from another story, but I decided to keep it in anyways since there’s no better time than Reyn time and it sounded closer to the name that was rolled for this place in ‘Hightongue’, which made it more plausible as a name derived from the equivalent of phonetic corruption.
Oh, even better! One of the Togedemaru’s names is Zazadan. *squee!*
Yeah, Zazadan’s not the only walking reference in this chapter, even if he’s one of the more blatant ones by virtue of the fact that his name is a straight lift from his Xeno series namesake. What the others are, I’ll leave for you to figure out from a second look and a bit of digging.
Is this a reference to the quest in Xenoblade 2 where Rex and co. find out that Nopon put on their speaking mannerisms to make themselves seem cuter? If so, that’s good. Very good, indeed.
I mean, these ‘Dinobeasts’ are a wee bit different than the original flavor so I’m sure there’s some readers that will give me a bit of crap over it. But hey, it’d be a bit less interesting if Wander was a 1:1 with a canonical Xeno setting and the term was sitting right on the shelf, so why not?
Also occurring to me that the Togedemaru’s teaming up to be a strong group as a group might be a reference to the Ponspectors from Future Connected. The Xenoblade references are beginning to come in - exactly what I was looking for!
That’s technically more of a happy accident since I had that one puzzle from the Gen 7 games in mind, but hey, it wouldn’t be the first time that I had something cooked up in this story and later went “you know what, that actually tracks” and leaned into it after the fact, so good enough.
The fight scenes feel engaging - it really captures the feeling of a group engagement and the chaos that comes with it. Owing to my novice skills as a reviewer, I’m not sure I’d be able to pick up on examples of ‘telling, not showing’ that other reviewers might well do. (I admit to having a problem with it in my own writings.) I like the fight scenes, though. You do a good job of showing the chaotic nature of things.
Glad to hear that you had fun with things. I’ll admit that as a writer, sometimes I have issues with the opposite extreme of things and can get a bit long-winded in my fight scenes, but glad to hear that the caravan raid kept you gripped.
An Axew prisoner? They’re an important character, no doubt, based on the summary and artwork that comes with this fic. A child, though - can’t say I was expecting that.
To be fair, I had more “middle schooler” in mind with the tier of child that Irune was, but yeah. She’s a wee bit younger than the rest of the gang, and a bit lower on the power scale in normal circumstances.
And the end of this chapter. The Xenoblade references have me compelled.
Honestly, feedback from readers who can spot the mythology nods is pretty handy. Since for a while, I was a bit worried that the casual references would prove to be a bit distracting. Though glad to hear that that isn’t the case for you, or at least not yet.
Cute, though hey, considering how you reviewed the entire published story at the time, sounds like you took those words to heart.
The opening letter about the Dyad sounds like pretty sinister business. The fact that Varhyde’s willing to breach protocol to gain the upper hand in the war doesn’t bode well for the future. If I had to guess, this’ll become a conflict further down the road. (In that letter, I spy someone named King Sansa - referencing Zanza, perhaps?)
That’s one of those questions that will ideally become a bit obvious given a bit of time and more information, since this won’t be the last time King Sansa is brought up in this story.
So the caravan may have done illegal dealing with Lansat Berries. (Well, not the first time a character named Zazadan went down that route…) Curious as how they’re contraband in this setting, though. What makes them illegal, I wonder?
Technically, it’s not the berries that are illegal, but the things that you can make with them. But yes, the Roly-Poly Caravan’s dealings are a nod to exactly what you’re thinking of, especially if you happened to catch the names of some of their higher-ups that were mentioned.
Another reminder of how rough bandits can be with the way Irune is treated. Very hard not to sympathise with her here.
Okay, I was right about the Dyad part being a future conflict. Still, this soon? I wasn’t expecting that. No doubt the Dyad is Irune, meaning there’s more to her than meets the eye…
I mean, it helps that a few of the soldier randos blurt it out loud later, but yeah. Irune is a bit of a living MacGuffin.
And boy, the action kicks in once the Grünhäuter show up. The desperation and terror is well felt among the bandits, and especially within Lyle. Enough that I felt the need to put this on. (Since this is meant to be a fic for Xeno references and all…)
Well hey, you can’t say the track isn’t decently fitting. Though I admittedly had this more in mind while writing the raid sequence.
So Alvin’s gone…taken away. How will this impact our characters from here, I wonder? (I guess he’s the Fiora/Mwamba archetype - a good friend charatcer to the protagonists, seems like they'll be a strong supporting character at first, only to be taken out of the picture early on.)
Glad to hear, even if it’s a bit of a balancing act to try and make sure I’m not tipping my hand too much as to the stories behind those mysteries too early. Even if knowing what to look for in terms of hints can probably give a reader some good ideas as to what those answers might entail.
Chapter 4
The opening of this chapter embeds a feeling of loss after all that happened the previous chapter.
Something like that, yes. Even if the final party composition would most closely resemble one from Xenoblade X.
The way Lyle’s remembering the Foehn Gang being broken up, I can’t help but wonder if we might get a flashback to that event in a future chapter. It would be interesting to know the circumstances of how that came to be.
It’s something that I’ve considered, even if there’s a number of things I haven’t settled on for how to depict that if it comes to pass, mostly pertaining to the “where and how” in the story that it would happen.
The pondering over what seems to be a Poké Ball is quite interesting, especially the description of the interpretation of the item’s purpose.
I figured that as a world descended from one with humans, that showing the locals picking over pieces that we would instantly recognize but that they necessarily wouldn’t would be part and parcel of the experience. Though keep an eye out for for these little human reminders, since there’s a bit of a story behind the world-that-was that can be gleaned from what was left behind from it.
Similarly fascinating is the logic of crumbled stairs signalling that a floor has shifted. It’s always fascinating hearing the different ways fics explain how their Mystery Dungeons work.
Something something, raiding an old toolkit and taking the time to play around with it in new ways. Though glad to hear that the mechanics aren’t taking you out of things too much.
And the tension comes back again with the emergence of the Grünhäuter, once again capturing the terror and desperation of the Outlaws in full. But we see also their determination in the face of danger. Intriguing, though, is Irune’s display of skill with her afterimages. (A nod to Foresight from XC2, maybe? And now that I realise it, the soldiers chasing down Irune is similar-ish to everyone chasing down Pyra/Mythra in XC2 as well. So is Irune a reference to Pyra/Mythra, I wonder? Hmmm…)
While you are correct that Irune is rocking some abilities that shouldn’t come naturally to her, those afterimages are less a skill of Irune’s and more Lyle seeing multiples after getting smacked in the head a bit too hard. I edited in a small additional blurb to try and make that more obvious.
The Traps are very well-utilised as a plot device, especially the Warp Trap in the Inteleon fight. Something that’s a mere annoyance in the games would be a worst-case scenario to trigger in a situation like that. The desperation is palpable, and we can definitely feel it with Dalton regarding the loss of Artem.
I’d like to think that part of it is a result from the change of framing from “normal rescue/exploration team off to be heroes” to “guys said normal rescue teams normally beat up and drag in for money”. One ‘mon’s “annoyance” is another’s “potential career-ender”.
And now the four of them are a cohesive unit. The four on the banner artwork, notably.
Yeah, it’s a bit of a spoiler as to where things would wind up going in this story, but eh. Stories are every bit as much about the journey as they are about the destination.
With their departure from the Dungeon, that’s the end of another tense chapter. I enjoyed this one a lot as well.
And I’m pleased to hear that even if the chapter was a bit long, that it kept you engrossed. This tends to be one of my more controversial chapters since some readers find that it drags a bit, but sounds like the rest of it made up for that to an extent.
Chapter 5
Klaus the Founder and Galea the Machinist, who founded their lands in this world. *claps*
I mean, I couldn’t not work in a nod to those two in some capacity considering how heavy this story is to Xeno nods writ large. It took me a while to settle on what exactly I wanted the pair’s epithets to be since their namesakes are a bit of a complicated subject in their games of origin, but I’m pretty satisfied with the final result. After all, I didn’t pick ‘Erbauer’ out of a hat for the epithet of this world’s Klaus just because it rolled off the tongue well.
Interesting, though - the way it’s framed here, it’s almost like the Reshiram/Zekrom conflict, with the truth and ideals conflict. Could Galea and Klaus be them respectively? (And also, how am I only now piecing together that the Varhyde-Edialeigh conflict is a reflection of the Bionis-Mechonis enmity in XC1?)
It would be a bit hard for Galea and Klaus to be Reshiram and Zekrom themselves since it is mentioned that they were each aided by a deity. But yes, I had shades of Bionis and Mechonis on the mind for Varhyde and Edialeigh’s conflict, if with a few other influences mixed in, since ‘forever wars’ are a very, very old feature of Xeno game plots in general.
Interesting that despite being posted in March 2022, the four becoming fugitives is oddly similar to what happens to the main characters in XC3 in its first few chapters. Similarly also, is the seemingly endless war going on between Varhyde and Edialeigh - similar to Keves and Agnus’s endless war in XC3. That is quite the coincidence, alright, to capture a similar scenario of a game’s opening chapters a few months prior to its release.
That’s part coincidence and part Takahashi doing likely deliberate mythology nods to some of the other games this story makes shout-outs to. Since Keves and Agnus are actually the second pair of nations with names beginning with ‘K’ and ‘A’ to be locked in a forever war in a Xeno game.
Another reference: the Divine Roost, the same place where the Telethia dwells in Xenoblade X.
Yeah, I was a bit of a lazy hack and just reused the name verbatim, but hey, it fit quite well for what the Divine Roost is in this story.
The way the four of them talk about looting a divine place does remind us that they are Outlaws and thus not exactly of a moral high standing. Still, that does make them more interesting as characters - a world of difference from morally righteous heroes in every regard. It makes it more compelling to see things from the other side - as seen with the thieving of scarves from the Hunters.
I mean, the central conceit of this story was to write a tale from an Outlaw’s perspective. Even if I cheated a bit to try and keep the cast sympathetic to the audience, they do steal stuff to get by, and I figured that taking time to remind the readers of that was important.
Okay, Irune’s a bit of a standoffish one. Seems she has a mean streak of her own. Also the fact that she explicitly stated that she wanted to pick the first item must mean it is definitely a Very Important Item™.
On a map, perhaps. Since even without the background war weighing on the land and the angry horde of soldiers on their tails, there’s a reason why Irune needs a team to get through those Mystery Dungeons on the way to the Divine Roost.
Yep, that statue’s of a Reshiram. Guess my earlier hunch was correct. Interesting that Reshiram is regarded as female, though. And I like the portrayal of the moral dilemma of taking food left in shrines. Can’t help but wonder if that might come back to bite them later…Just an off-hand wondering.
re: Female gendering: That’s an artifact of this story pulling decently hard from EU Pokémon localizations, where in every localization except English, the attribute associated with Reshiram is a feminine-gendered word while the attribute associated with Zekrom is a masculine-gendered word. Thus the Taos were cast accordingly in this story.
Anyway, that’s the end of another chapter, where we now have our characters’ goal: to reach the Divine Roost. Another good one.
Oh dear, an inspection. That’s not gonna end well.
Hm, it passed over. Still, the fact that the carriers were willing to bribe the guards makes me think they might be carrying illegal cargo just as the Roly-Poly Caravan were.
I wouldn’t rule it out, though considering the track record of petty harassment and bribery in earlier Pokémon games, they most likely were going to need to pay that bribe to not have to waste an hour of their life getting pestered by guards looking for an excuse to invoke civil forfeiture on their cashbox.
Ah, adult fanboyism of kids' merchandise. I see it exists here too.
Such is life when your monthly pay is losing value in live-time. You have to make up the shortfall somewhere, and it takes a certain level of integrity when in a position of power not to abuse it to try and make ends meet, which Mack obviously doesn’t have.
Sheriff Vandamme…so this world has one too. (Notably, he’s a Stoutland - a reference to X’s Vandham is my guess, given his looks.)
‘Vandamme’ is the official Romanization of the Japanese name of Colonel Square-tache from XB1, which is rendered with the same katakana that the ‘Vandham’s of later games are. (And the reason why Commander Vandham in XBX has a blink-and-miss-it joke about him calling himself ‘Colonel Square-tache’.)
Make what you will of what Vandamme was like as a Sheriff around these parts.
I feel that some descriptions are a bit wordy, like the description of the tavern. I don’t think it needs all that to get the point across?
Yeah, this is probably something where I’m just going to opt to learn from the future and try to reel things in.
Hmm. I reckon the musicians’ song is definitely a reference to a Xeno song with lyrics. And based on Lyle’s reckoning that it has to with flying…Don’t Worry (the Skell Flight theme) from XCX?
And it seems Lyle’s back to his old ways. Notably, though, he’s a bit more daring than they said he was back in the day. Still, so much for ‘just one job’.
It’s a general trend of this story, really. I make a point of trying to roll one word that is relevant to the events that happen in some capacity, even if the connection won’t always be as on-the-nose as this one.
And the classic rookie mistake has been made: angering the merchant gods that are Kecleon. Something that any PMD character worth their salt Does Not Do.
Oh, the tripod supports holding the tower over a plaza didn’t give it away? Though when in doubt, think of major landmarks in other places where you’ve seen a ‘Vandamme’ before.
Again, we’re reminded of the morally dubious nature of the Outlaws via taking money from a schoolboy. The Luxio and Manectric rivalry - is that an Explorers of Sky reference? That’s a nice touch if it is.
It’s actually a reference to a deadfic from a long time back. Which granted, was focused around a Luxio from the Amp Plains where the local Luxio and Manectric were indeed feuding with each other. So I’ll count that as close enough to be a ‘yes’.
Dabohru returned - a surprise to me - and he’s being called a “furry volleyball”? Another neat reference. And intriguing how his leveraging power turns things on their head pretty quickly. Just like some of the shadier Nopon from Xenoblade…
Let’s just say that Dabohru’s name wasn’t picked at random, even if it might be a bit more recognizable with a slightly different spelling and his namesake was depicted plying a bigger neighborhood than Moonturn Square.
Chapter 8
…will go wrong. By this chapter’s title, getting that 15k’s going to be an uphill battle. Especially given that, as implied in the opening letter, they have eyes on them. (Once again, there’s a strange similarity with Xenoblade 3’s first few chapters despite the fact this was written before the game released, with the whole ‘villains know where the on-the-run heroes are.’) Also the fact they refer to the Dyad as ‘our Aegis’ is more proof to my theory that Irune’s meant to be a Pyra/Mythra reference.
Full disclosure, but I actually went in without knowledge of XB2 beyond being spoiled on the backstory twist up to Chapter 4, when I started a playthrough concurrent to writing. It was one of those things where the moment I saw the resemblance, I leaned into it nice and hard.
That said, the word that is translated as ‘Aegis’ here from the German text carries a very specific nuance that the XB2 name does not. That is all I will say about the matter.
Ouch, that Brick Break would do a number on Kate, given her type.
Good eye, there. That is indeed what that little snippet was alluding to.
The division over money and Irune getting the shortest change makes me wonder if it might have an impact further down the line. Will this eventually become a point of contention, and will Irune eventually protest about it if it continues in this fashion? Especially if she becomes more of an asset to the team, I could see her demanding her fair share.
Irune actually got an even split there, she just received it last. I went to try and make that a bit more obvious.
Oh, Alvin returned? I knew we wouldn’t see the last of him! Probably the same with Artem, too. And he’s to be conscripted? Oh no…There’ll be a rescue to save him in future, I reckon.
Gotta love the rookie heroism shown by Team Pathfinder to the point of cringe. It’s interesting seeing this kind of conflict from the other side, though, when from the Outlaws’ PoV, we find ourselves agreeing with them that this lot are a bunch of dweebs. And while not the strongest ‘mon in the world, they do prove to be a persistent bunch.
Hey, persistence is part and parcel of being a heroic team, whether in Pokémon or in a Xeno game. Even if Team Pathfinder will need a lot of persistence in order to make something of themselves from their present point.
Also, I just realised Bel is an allusion to L from XCX, with his ‘our’ mannerisms and even “our head is spinning." Nice nod to one of my favourite characters from the series!
Yeah, alas. At least Lyle got the satisfaction of seeing his bully squirm a bit before having to cut and run.
Boy, Lacan and the Grünhäuter sure make for a fearsome presence whenever they show up. And especially now, when they’re in the air. It does help to build fear, moreso with Hermes being a wary ally.
Sounds like they’re hitting their marks then, especially for Lacan. Since… well, let’s just say that ‘fearsome presence’ is very much intended to be the vibe he gives off.
The flashbacks of Lyle’s life shed a bit more light on his character. Not a happy life, by the sounds of it. Little wonder he became a thief.
Glad to hear that came through. Lyle was always intended to be a character that had things in life been less unsettled, he might have been doing something more normal for a living. I figured that showing glimpses of how on earth he got to this point would be handy for making sure that the audience saw that.
I think using ‘the Quilava’ twice to describe Lyle for these two back-to-back sentences looks a bit off. Just a slight nitpick.
Technically, there’s no ‘und doch’, but yeah. I had ‘that one song’ in mind when writing that dialogue.
Lacan might be something of a sympathetic character after all, the way he talks about fleeing his home and Sophia comforting him during his lowest moments. What happened, I wonder?
A story for another day, even if there’s already a couple hints lying around earlier in the story.
So Irune’s showing signs of reawakening, is she? Perhaps that was what the unexpected show of power was back in the Team Pathfinder fight. It sounds like she’s in the process, too, so we might see more displays of power from her as time goes on. I wonder what those will be?
Yup, while it’s not a panacea, it certainly helps even long odds, especially with some helpful items.
I suppose if Wilders can talk in this world, then of course the potential to recruit them would be there. But why, Irune? Why did you scare that Cranidos off?! Honestly, I sympathise with Dalton and Kate here. Missed potential for a new recruit right there. (Curious - is that a sideways reference to Cabot from Casting Off? He had the same sort of eagerness to him.)
The Cranidos is indeed a nod to Cabot. As for why Irune drove him off, it was one part being uncomfortable with getting a random Wilder wrapped up with their amount of heat and one part rash decision-making. Today’s chapter ideally should help to give a bit more context behind that.
Chapter 11
The ruins in the Primeval Forest sound incredibly interesting, the way concrete pylons are mentioned. Perhaps a great city once dwelled there?
Aww, Irune’s starting to feel connected with the gang. They might not seem like the best of friends now, but these four will be as thick as thieves (intentional pun) by the end of this adventure.
I mean, it would be a bit of a boring story if the gang stayed stiff and transactional the whole way through. Can’t say anything about the journey away from the status quo.
‘The past repeating itself’...I wonder if this is a reference to the Balance Bandits, or might it be something deeper in Irune’s past?
Boy, Lyle’s bitterness is palpable, alright. Worsened by the horrid weather as well. Though it seems just like Irune was worried about him, he’s worried about her. They’re getting more closely knit as a group.
This is another one of those questions that will probably become apparent further down the road. Though without giving away the game too much, there’s a couple of hints lying around in this chapter opener as to what the answer to your wonderings might entail. They’re just hidden a bit.
Now we meet Rankar, the beast that rules over this place. This one’s going to be a challenge, alright.
Such is life when your party consists of guile heroes. A lot of even more modest encounters on the power scale will give them a handful in a straight fight.
Gods above, Dalton’s injuries look serious. Will they be permanent? Hopefully not…
They won’t, but he’ll have to live with them for a while.
But now we see Irune’s powers come into their own. Seems it’s an in extremis thing, like most powers (and indeed, how Mythra comes out within Pyra. Another connection between them and our Axew).
Hilariously enough, that is also another thing that got retrofitted as I continued along in my XB2 run and realized “hey, this isn’t far removed from what I was already planning”. But yes, Irune’s powers come out most reliably when she’s in distress. For now, anyways.
Damn. Seems Rankar’s more sympathetic than I first thought. And with grandchildren too…
Good, that was very much the intent. Since by design, there are very few characters in this story that aren’t some sort of shade of gray. Not that they don’t exist, but Rankar isn’t one of them even if he’s got his share of blood on his jaws.
Oh no, looks like Dalton’s injuries are really serious… ;-; Will he pull through?
I mean, I suppose my last comment already gave things away. But he’ll be fine… eventually. No promises about what the journey to ‘eventually’ looks like.
Yep, big Pyra/Mythra vibes from Irune right here. Makes me wonder, then, just what her intentions for going to the Divine Roost are. (Because if they’re anything like those two, then…hmm…)
You’ll actually get a high-level answer to those intentions in today’s chapter. As for the details, it’s not quite time for the story to address them openly, but there will be a steady stream of hints dropped here and there over the next couple arcs’ worth of events.
Conclusion
This was a lot of fun to read! The story and characters were engaging, it showed an interesting viewpoint from the Outlaws’ side of things, and did a good job of showing off various intrigues of its world. Plus, it generates intrigue for who characters are, which I always love to see in fics. Each one is quite engaging, and notably, none of them really possess heroic attributes given their Outlaw tendencies. That makes them intriguing, and fitting their characters perfectly.
Glad to hear that the take on things was run to follow. Since the central premise of this story from its earliest days on the drawing board was “what would a PMD story from an Outlaw’s PoV look like?” I mean, I used a few narrative tricks and cheats to try and keep said Outlaws sympathetic, but being able to see things through the eyes of “the other side” was always a major goal, and it’s heartening to hear that things are delivering thus far.
And the Xenoblade references. I loved them. Definitely a lot of these moments while reading this: View attachment 5145
And now that Xenoblade 3’s out, there might possibly.be references from that game to spot in upcoming chapters.
I fully intend on that, yes. Even if they’ll likely start small and surface-level since I’m still early on in my playthrough. No promises regarding major structural elements getting alluded to though, since much of OaT’s worldbuilding was done in a time before XB3 released. I mean, it helps that some of the older games share major story elements with it, so you never know.
Faults? Not many, to be honest - I'm not really that kind of reviewer. I suppose if I had to pick, some descriptions are a bit wordy and overlong, and sometimes don’t quite convey their image the best. And the German goes a bit over my head, sometimes to the point of “Is this necessary?” Having to go back to the glossary every time can be a pain.
But it is what it is. And hey, writers are allowed to be self-indulgent if they wish to be. The language thing is interesting, no doubt. I hear Fledglings has more diverse languages than just German; that might well compel me to read that one in the near future.
Regarding the glossary, but if you’re reading the version of this story onsite or the ones on AO3 or Bulbagarden, that’s actually the reason for the inline hovertext to try and minimize the amount of scrolling to the bottom to read things… even if it doesn’t do a whole lot for the FFN and Serebii ones. I suppose that in the end, that’s a choice that people will either find distracting or they won’t, but eh. I’ve made my choice and I’m sticking with it.
As for things getting a bit wordy at times… yeah, that can be a weakness of mine as a writer sometimes. For what it’s worth, from feedback I’ve gotten from past reviews, I may have gotten a bit better past the initial run of 5 chapters. Possibly. Could be my own rose-colored glasses skewing things.
But hey, glad to hear that this story helped motivate you to check out Fledglings. Since even if they’re cut from different thematic molds, this story wouldn’t have existed had I not cut my teeth on Fledglings first, and I’m still plugging away at that story with @Virgil134 . So lots of stuff for you to look forward to in the future.
(Apologies if this was a bit wordy. Still fairly new to reviewing.)
Hey, Fobbie! I enjoyed reading Once a Thief last year for Blitz, so I wanted to catch up on it again this year. There's a pretty solid run of chapters here that I missed out on--nice job keeping the updates coming, although I know they haven't been quite as frequent as you wanted.
Yeah, I suppose that part of that was on me, since one of the constants of almost any project is that it takes longer than initially planned. Still hoping to get things a bit closer to the target baseline this year, and thanks for coming back around to give this story another look.
You've really been keeping your characters on their toes--not a lot of opportunty for rest and relaxation while you're on the run with one of the most sought-after pokémon in the country, heh. It can be a difficult balance to strike, keeping the action coming and tension high without exhausting your readers. I thought this went better in some parts of this section than others, which I discuss a little more below, but I do always enjoy a chase story and how stress and exhaustion can push characters into interesting places. Lyle and Irune continue to feel like the "main" characters out of our gang of four, having the only POV segments out of Team Forager and the most obvious character conflict. Lyle is really not having a good time and regretting everything about getting back into the outlaw life, but of course by now it's way too late for him to hope to go back to berry picking. I feel like that's bound to boil over in an ugly way at some point (and there's still the matter of Lyle's pending evolutio...), and I'm looking forward to it! I do wonder where his life's going to go from here, regardless of the potential success of the Divine Roost mission. Irune, too, obviously has some real issues working with outlaws, and understandably so; Team Forager may have saved her, but they are in many ways Not Nice. I liked how the tension in that relationship came to the fore during this set of chapters, and again, I figure that with her, too, there's some kind of breaking point on the horizon. I'm curious how her status as the Dyad and having some connection to Reshiram/Zekrom might play into her understanding of these outlaws as people and what's really "moral" in a situation as complicated as this.
Hm. A bit unfortunate that you found the execution of that overall tension of being on the run with active criminals to a bit uneven, but it sounded like overall you had fun with things. As for that character tension, it’s definitely something to keep an eye on, since by design, the overall scenario was aimed to be a pressure cooker for the team at large, such that it both puts them into uncomfortable positions and gets them to touch on uncomfortable questions of who they are and what they’re willing to do.
I also like Irune and Lyle's relationship in general; they seem to be the two most conflicted members of the team, and to some extent probably sense that in each other. Lyle feels protective of Irune even when he's furious with her, and she seems closest to him despite e.g. him letting her down over the Alvin thing. I'm definitely interested in seeing how their dynamic develops as time goes on and, especially, Irune's powers manifest. In the end I think she'll be able to hold her own much better than Lyle, heh.
Glad to hear that you're having fun seeing those two. That said, there have been some segments from Kate and Dalton’s perspective (even if one of Kate’s was retconned in after-the-fact in Chapter 4). Though I’ll keep it in mind to show off a bit more of their perspective and stories, since while Lyle and Irune might get a bit of a leg up in terms of focus, those two aren’t exactly meant to be peripheral and for good reason.
Dalton continues to be a bit of an enigma, but I'm glad that we're starting to learn a little more about him in recent chapters. And Kate is Kate, lol. I'll be curious to see whether she ends up getting a more pronounced arc later in the fic, but she really doesn't need it; she works just fine as the team's troublemaker and most inveterate scofflaw.
While there’s some things about Dalton that I’ll be keeping close to my chest for a while, this upcoming block of chapters ought to help fill in some of those blanks. I might hint at or else pull a few things that were originally meant to be brought up later in the story for him, since… hey, the ‘mon’s got a story to him, and I think I have some room to point towards it without undercutting things later on.
I'm also interested in your characterization of the soldiers in this fic. From your previous work I know that you like to show off some of the "bad guys'" perspective--which in some sense is what this fic is, although it's really more like both sides are morally gray. Despite the army as a whole being the obvious villain in this story and the individual soldiers we've seen not exactly being friendly people themselves, of course they still have their own relationships that are meaningful to them and don't spend 100% of their time tormenting the populace. Sophia seems pretty well set up here to eventually become sympathetic to Team Forager (already sympathetic to Irune!) and help them out when the chips are down. I look forward to seeing where her character arc goes and how Lacan deals with her sudden but inevitable betrayal, heh.
I mean, admittedly much of that characterization will probably be focused around two soldiers in particular, but people, both “nice” and “not nice”, are complicated, and I try to reflect that in the characters that I depict in my writing in general. Though the shades of moral grayness is deliberate. Like our protagonists, Lacan, Sophia, and the others in their circles hail from an unsettled world where doing what’s right isn’t necessarily straightforward and or easy thanks to other factors that make taking an “easy solution” attractive even if it’s something morally wrong.
I enjoyed the Moonturn Square cameos--and I'm guessing I missed most of them! Since I understand this fic makes a fair number of references to video game franchises I'm not familiar with, heh. But it was a lot of fun seeing a certain competitive arcanine and rapidash pair in particular! I was a little unclear on why Team Forager kept trying to get Irune to steal, though--was the idea that all of them would need to bring in some cash in order to make the huge payment to Hermes? Otherwise I'm not sure they were so insistent on it--like, they need Irune to pull her weight, but they're also, as we see elsewhere in this run of chapters, pretty pragmatic types. I'm not clear on why they didn't decide to shelve thief-training for now when it became clear that the amount of time they were spending on it was going to make it hard for them to pull off enough scores to collect all the money they needed.
The idea was that they needed all hands on deck with a dash of sunken cost fallacy. If they had had the luxury of a second day to rip people off in the marketplace, they probably would’ve had Irune sit things out or else put her on decoy duty. I’ll put some thought into whether or not there’s a relatively easy way of hinting at that in the present text, though otherwise I’ll keep it in mind for the future, since that won’t be the last time that they ply their trade in such a fashion.
The glimpse the group caught of Alvin, meanwhile, was wonderful; really painful scene where Lyle has to watch his friend get dragged off to a horrible fate for a second time. A real tough situation for everyone involved. I loved the horrible calculations Lyle had to run and how dismayed Irune was by the group's decision to leave Alvin behind. This was a scene that really drove the title of the fic home; you can imagine heroes would leap into action to save their friend, whatever the odds, but these guys aren't heroes. I can't imagine this is the last we'll see of Alvin, and I'm looking forward to what happens when he turns up again. I wonder how he'll feel about Lyle leaving him behind? As an outlaw himself, he can surely understand the pragmatic considerations of that choice... but that's still the sort of thing that kinda stings when it's happening to you. All in all the little bit with Alvin was my favorite part of the Moonturn Square arc.
Glad to hear that you liked that moment, though you are correct that this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Alvin. Even if it’ll take a bit before we cross paths with him in the story again.
In general, the Moonturn Square arc felt a little drawn out to me. I enjoyed Irune's thieving sequences, but there were a lot of scenes that mostly felt like Team Forager fighting and/or running away from things, which felt a bit repetitive to me after a while. For example, it's logical enough that Lyle would encounter Nils here, and I imagine he'll be back later, too, so keeping him present in readers' minds makes sense. However, I didn't really feel like his battle with Lyle did all that much for Lyle's character or for progression of the plot, and by that point there'd been lots of fights and narrow escapes, so I wasn't super pumped to see another that didn't feel like it stood out much from the rest. I was almost as ready to get out of Moonturn Square as Team Forager!
Hrm, a bit unfortunate, though I suppose it is what it is. I’ll keep things in mind for designing scenarios for the future, since while a thief’s “winning state” is to simply get away with whatever they nick, keeping the journey varied for the audience is an important consideration.
Primeval Forest is a lot of fun! I always love getting to see fossil 'mons come out and play a bit in fics, but in a lot of settings they can be difficult to incorporate. I like that you not only got to show them off plenty here, but their presence is tied deeply into the worldbuilding and background of this story. I will admit that I didn't recognize the name/logo of the lab that the mystery dungeon grew out of--not sure if that's me not being familiar with your other work, if it's a canon thing I'm just missing, or a reference to a franchise I'm not familiar with, but I was not picking up what you were putting down there, heh. But I also enjoyed that traversing this dungeon involved a lot of nice character development beyond the fun scene-setting. Team Forager has been running and gunning basically since they all first met up, and it's really starting to put a serious strain on the team dynamics. Irune's behavior towards the cranidos and vocal disdain for outlaws has definitely driven a wedge between her and the rest of the group, as well as dragging up some of Lyle's insecurity and resentment at having turned and then returned to the outlaw life, and all it's cost him. We even got a couple hints as to Dalton's background and began to see exactly why the army's been chasing Irune all over the continent.
The logo is a Xenosaga reference, one that might give a few ideas as to a few things that might be part of the backstory of Wander if you recognize it. But yeah, the primary raison d’etre for the Primordial Woods arc was basically to show off the friction from a team formed from an alliance of convenience. Since they ultimately will have to grow closer in order to make it through their gauntlet, but… they’re not quite there yet as characters.
I did particularly enjoy the cranidos scene; I was totally expecting that recruitment to happen, and was thinking to myself, "another cranidos, really? lmao, I'm here for it," but Irune chasing the guy off was a fun twist not only for the character development mentioned above but just as a fun subversion of expectations. Poor little dino, though, I hope he finds somebody else to help him escape from dino dystopia.
I mean, that Cranidos was cut from the same character mold as Cabot, but yeah. Having the fuzz on your tail makes for a bit of a different dynamic when trying to draw in someone who’s a stranger to your civilization, one that Irune wasn’t ready to stomach right there.
I think this run of chapters ended off strong. You've set up some interesting conflicts among the main cast that I imagine they'll be wrestling with for a while, Irune's started manifesting her crazy powers, which I can only imagine are going to cause more conflict going forward, and we're moving on to somewhere new and more perilous. I found the Moonturn Square chapters more difficult to get into, but Primeval Forest was a lot more interesting to me and ended off particularly well with a nicely tense battle against the tyrantum and more moral dilemmas, my favorite thing. I'm not sure how long you intend for this fic to be, but from the way things have progressed I'd guess we're at somewhere between 1/3 edging up close to halfway done by this point. I think things are developing nicely and the most recent chapter's pointing in an interesting direction; can't promise I'll stay caught up by any means, but I do hope to be able to come back and check in on this story now and again!
We’re actually closer to around a quarter done assuming that the currently sketched-out story on the block doesn’t wind up dramatically expanding as it gets filled out. Which, I suppose could happen, but I’ll be optimistic about it.
As for the “1/3 edging up close to halfway done” point in this story, barring big changes under the hood mechanically, you’ll know when you see it. In the present queue of WIP material, it lines up with a pretty big watershed moment in the plot.
So I've been meaning to check this fic out! I'm familiar with your work through Fledglings, which I got really into back in the day. But it's also been a long time since I last touched it, and the current version on TR isn't yet caught up to where I left off. So I figured I'd check this fic out instead for Review Blitz. What I know going in, besides the summary, is that apparently it involves a lot of Xeno references, which I'm definitely down for! I also originally was under the impression that this shared a world with Fledglings; it wasn't until recently that I found out that wasn't the case. Though there still seems to be a lot of elements in common, so I've found it pretty easy to adjust so far. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's actually get to the review!
Yeah, I suppose I should get around to updating the OP that the settings are about as related to each other as different DnD settings. Where they share chunks of a common set of mechanics but otherwise are their own things with their own quirks, cosmologies, and setting-specific features. Yes, I know about Planescape, that doesn’t count.
The Prologue works as a pretty good setup chapter. You do a really good job of giving us a glimpse into this world and the troubles of those who live in it, with a lot of attention to detail that doubles both as worldbuilding and as context for why Lyle decides to join Kate for one last raid. In general you have a talent for crafting believable, interesting worlds, and that's on full display here.
I mean, I do consider worldbuilding to be one of my stronger suits as a writer. Even if I was a bit more of a hack when coming up Wander and its particulars than I normally try to be when developing a setting, I wanted the setting to still feel like it was living and breathing. Sounds like I hit my mark decently well.
Chapter 1 gives us a brief intro of how Mystery Dungeons work in this setting, which if I recall doesn't seem too different from Fledglings. We also get our intro to the various gangs. The bit with the red and green scarves was a cute way to establish that some Pokémon have natural colorblindness in this setting, and the leaders of these gangs are all pretty suitably intimidating. And Lyle, in true Protagonist fashion, takes on the Samurott :P. Though I did think it made sense for him to, and the battle scene here is well done in establishing how Lyle works in combat, which is definitely important considering how battle heavy these next couple chapters end up being.
The names and particulars are a bit different, but there’s a lot of shared concepts between the two, yes. The primary differences that you’ll see between the two beyond the auroras at night are that here, hunger is a consideration when going through MDs, and “MD as spatial shortcut” is something that is used a lot more extensively in Wander than in the Cradle, since the MDs that the average denizen can interact with are a lot more interlinked here in Wander than they are in the Cradle.
It seems like we have most of the main cast by the end of Chapter 1. Lyle strikes me as someone who wants to go back to living a decent life, but life itself has other plans. He definitely has an edge to him, though he doesn't strike me as a particularly bad guy, just someone who's hard on his luck and is ultimately used to this kind of life. Kate seems like much more of a free-spirit by comparison, and then there's Alvin, who I don't feel I have that good a grasp on, but his excitement at having Lyle around would almost be wholesome if they weren't bandits. Dalton definitely has some mystery surrounding him, though he seems pretty reliable so far, especially in battle. As for Artem, I feel like I haven't really gotten to see enough of him yet to form any opinions. We're definitely starting off with a sizeable cast, and I'd say right now most of my understanding comes from their relationships with each other that have been established so far.
Yeeeeeah, in retrospect, I probably should’ve spent a bit more time to let the audience get to know Alvin at the start of the story such that that one moment™ was a harder gutpunch. I might attempt to retcon in a couple things towards that end sometime down the road, though otherwise it’ll be a lesson learned for the future.
The Xeno references are definitely pretty fun so far! I'm assuming you chose German as a reference to Xenosaga, and the world being built on the premise of two warring nations is probably meant to be a nod to the main three Xenoblade games (though I can't help but wonder what they're fighting over). And then, of course, there's the Roly-Poly Caravan, with its very clear nopon flavoring. You captured their speaking patterns more or less perfectly in my eyes. I recognize Zazadan from Xenoblade 1, and the detail of having Dabohru riding an Aerodactyl is a particularly cheeky way to reference the way nopon rode ekidnos in that game (and even cheekier is using Dedeba and Bana's japanese names to hide them in plain sight). And of course they're dealing in Not!Red Pollen Orbs! I expect that there will inevitably be a giant mech at some point, because it simply isn't a Xeno game if there isn't at least one plot-important giant mech somewhere.
Everything that you noticed is pretty much right on the mark other than that I had Pterixes in mind over Ekidnos (they share an enemy skeleton, so good enough), even if Baan and Dabohru had the additional benefit of being variant Romanizations when they’re more commonly rendered as ‘Bān’ and ‘Dabōru’.
As for the ‘giant mech’ note, that depends on your definition of ‘giant mech’ and ‘plot important’, but hold onto that thought there.
Chapter 2 is basically one giant battle scene, and I found it pretty engaging! The build up was well handled, and while the fight scene was long it was also very dynamic with constantly changing circumstances, so it never got old or felt like it dragged. Our thieves definitely got more than they bargained for here, and of course, the main party manages to form in the chaos. I was wondering how Dalton would get involved when he didn't seem to have much connection to rest of the party, but now I see how the circumstances built up some respect between him and Lyle, which will inevitably pay off in the future.
Glad to hear you had fun with it. Since I figured that as a story following Outlaws, that it would be a bit remiss not to show them doing their jobs and not sucking at it. Since while “ineffective butt monkey villain” can give a leg up at making them endearing to the audiences, that wasn’t the tack that I wanted from this story’s cast since they were very much intended to be “everyman” Outlaws.
I was under the impression that Carolins replaced Poké as the currency in this setting! I'm assuming this ties into the class divide you've established. Speaking of the class divide, using German as the "language of nobility" is an interesting way to handle the multilang element in a way that's unique from how Fledglings uses it.
Poké is basically the Canadian Tire Money of this setting, and isn’t quite as useful for dodging exchange rates as it is in the Cradle (not impossible, but you’d definitely have your work cut out for you under the present circumstances). Carolins are the normal currency issued by Varhyde’s monarchy, and under more normal circumstances where there wasn’t ongoing currency devaluation, Poké would occupy a lot less mindspace among the locals.
Irune brings the plot with her! She insists she's telling the truth, though obviously I can't help but wonder, considering that she left out her status as "The Dyad." I have a couple of theories based on that name, but I haven't gotten to see that much of her character yet, so I'll keep 'em to myself for now.
It’ll be fun to see what you come up with theory-wise, even if I can’t say I’ll be too talkative one way or the other as to if you’re getting close or not. Since hey, gotta keep my readers in suspense. :V
I like how this works both as a reference to Shulk and the PMD Explorer's protagonist at the same time.
Which is precisely why it was thrown in. Since hey, this story basically is a soft crossover between PMD and a Xenogame pastiche, so…
The thieves really got more than what they bargained for! If I have a minor complaint with the Chapter 3 battle, it's that I was initially under the impression that the Pocket was smaller than it actually ended being, so when the battle happened I found I was struggling to really get a sense of place for where everyone was. Though it was definitely an intense scene! Ford is missing now, and it seems like Myra might be dead after that. And as for Alvin, I was wondering why he wasn't in the fic banner. I don't expect that he's dead, but he's definitely not going to be reappearing anytime soon, and it hurts to see Lyle so distraught over it. though does this mean something's going to happen to Artem too?
No comment. I’ll put some thought into if there’s a way to make the scale of the Pocket a bit more obvious in Chapter 1 and give more obvious landmarks to signpost the gang’s positioning, but even if there were a few uneven patches, glad to hear that you had fun with the battle scene there.
re: the typos, but I went and cleaned them up, hopefully things read a bit better now. That said, regarding:
I think this one is incorrect? I'll admit that din isn't a word I'm super familiar with, but it doesn't really read right here.
“din” is a word meaning a loud, unpleasant, and prolonged noise. Much like one would expect from the racket made by a fierce battle.
So things are picking up pretty quickly in this fic! A lot's happened so far, and I feel that there's a lot of room for theorycrafting with what you've given just in these first few chapters. There's a lot of interesting teases: the chapter openings in particular give me a lot to chew on. I'm under the impression that the two "gods" involved are Reshiram and Zekrom, and I'm interested to see where some of these plot threads go. Which is to say that I'm definitely adding this to my reading list for the future!
Hello Fobbie! I'm here with a review for chapter 4: Remnant. I believe I'll be caught up with you after this? Either way, I'll be upfront: it was a really hard chapter for me to read. The combat really dragged this chapter, especially with how the prose isn't succinct. The fact that the chapter was 13k words according to TR didn't help either. An eighth of a long novel shouldn't be spent on two battles and light exploration, especially since this is early in the story Not that the events in the chapter are bad: in fact, what you had in the chapter itself was pretty good. I'm just worried if I can keep up this review trade for many more chapters as the prose is becoming a chore to read. I'll go into more details but something in me felt like it was important to be upfront and transparent. I hope you don't stop writing though: attention problems and reading comprehension problems just mean slow prose affects me disproportionally.
A bit unfortunate to hear, though if it’s any consolation, Chapter 4 gets some complaints about dragging a bit here and there. One of these days, I might attempt to cut it up into two pieces to try and make each one more digestible since that’d at least smooth that part of it out, but it’s admittedly one of those things that I’d need to put serious thought into for how to pull off given that it’d potentially affect chapter indexing.
I do have some good things to say though, I promise! And I'm sure you've probably improved in prose since chapter 4 but I can only write about what I've read :(. I'll break my review into random categories. I have read the ff.net version of this story for this review.
I mean, you’re entitled to read the version that strikes your fancy most, but I’d strongly recommend reading one of the versions that supports hovertext (here, AO3, and Bulbagarden), since those represent this story’s best foot forward while FFN / Serebii have some compromises made due to platform limitations.
Clean-cut errors I found:
- "There to her astonishment , was Lyle coming" (misplaced space)
- "Irune looking away with a quiet murmur No, no gottverdammt" (missing period or quotation?)
- "Evidently even with his armor, the wave had evidently been as painful as it looked." (not an actual error but I'm sure you didn't want to use "evidently" twice in the same sentence)
- "There in the soggy aftermath was the Poison-type struggled to get back up when" (wrong verb form)
- "The Water-type froze with a wince and grabbed at his fresh burn, the Quilava watching as he whirled about with gritted teeth." (I'm sure "at" is the incorrect proposition, it should say "grabbed his fresh burn", and the second half of the sentence had an ambiguous "he")
- "The Heliolisk looked back at him peered down at him" (self-explanatory)
- "he saw water and smooth walls about him , but most curiously" (misplaced space)
- "Lyle flattened his ears out and felt his flames flicker with an annoyed frown" (It reads like the flames have an annoyed frown)
Thanks for pointing these all out. I went back and touched them up accordingly.
Prose and clarity
I find the chapter's prose problems are the sum of many, many small things adding up. One thing I've noticed in particular is that sentences tend to be really long in general and a couple of them are run-on sentences. Here's one egregious example:
"The Quilava at first couldn't make out what the Dragon-Type was pointing at with his vision, and took a few steps over, when the burnt smell got noticeably stronger and noticed that part of the wall had been blasted away with scorch marks around a spot a few paces away."
Went and chopped that sentence up into two pieces. If nothing else, hopefully it resolves the run-on aspect of it.
The sentences get long because the prose isn't succinct, but mostly it and others should be broken up into multiple sentences. Too many ideas are being expressed at once. My mental images get strained and the information blurs together. One sentence could have just been Lyle failing to see the source of the smell. A second could have been him coming closer and noticing the smell, and the third could have been the physical description. There's many ways this could be chopped up but I just wanted to give an example.
I find a good rule of thumb is to never express four ideas in a single paragraph (ie no more than three clauses - ideas separated/joined by commas or conjunctions), and don't do anything more than two simple ideas and one complex idea ("he went indoors (1), saw his friend (2), and pondered hard about the meaning of life in a cold uncaring universe (3)"). This is just a guideline I use to just spot potential run-on sentences so this isn't a universal truth, just something you might find useful. Lists are obviously an exception.
Yeah, and those are fair ones. I’d like to think that normally I’m better about catching such things, but I see that at least in this chapter a few things got past me.
There is a lot of filtering. Filtering is when you don't describe the world directly but describe the characters experiencing (seeing, smelling, noticing, feeling, etc) the world - "I saw the sun rose over the hill" vs. "the sun rose over the hill". It's almost always redundant and generally consider straight-up bad form. It adds words without real value and can even take some readers out of the story. This is especially bad in action as it adds clutter to the visualization, but I'll get to that.
There are also a couple of meaningless adjectives. Words like "visibly" and "noticeably" are such examples; a character isn't going to see invisible things, and something has to be noticeable if the characters can witness it. Evidently is another example. It's important to keep an eye out for these and make sure it isn't something that's self-evident by definition or obviously inferable.
In my defense, this chapter was written several months prior to your beta reading of Hunting Game where you drilled it into my head to be mindful of these things. Hopefully things are a bit better on that front in more recent chapters, and I’ll see what I can do for spot fixes, though my attention will most likely be paid more towards keeping this from cropping up further on, since… yeah, you kinda need to keep moving in stories at some point.
Though who knows? Maybe I’ll take a couple days to bughunt in my older chapters, since while harsh, I can’t say that these critiques aren’t useful.
A lot of actions are described that aren't actually important or necessary to point out. Characters turning around is the best example I can point out. Characters turning is described often; "turn" shows up 34 times in the chapter and roughly half of them are used in the context of characters turning, and "whirl" gets used about 5 times in the context of characters turning. Readers will generally assume the orientation of characters, especially if the character is turning in response to a threat or someone speaking. Even if a reader ends up visualizing a character facing a different way than is intended: does it matter? It's very rare for it to be specified for the sake of the scene making sense. Although if it is needed for this case, you do use it then. (Also, I do find there are a few times describing a character turning is best for flow but that never felt the case in this chapter)
There are a few more examples, usually characters looking in a non-description context or just involuntary body motions/mundane reactions. I personally find these kinds of specific details make it a bit harder to visualize the scene instead of being immersed in it; the bigger picture ends up getting lost.
Hrm, I think that that’s a bit of a balancing act, since while I can be a bit overly-visual of a writer, I’m not convinced that all of those details were totally unnecessary. I’ll see if I can thin out some of the more egregious examples here and keep the feedback in mind for the future.
Overall, I feel the writing just simply uses too many words for simple things. For example, "Lyle said nothing for a long while, before turning his eyes away and letting a grudging croak of a reply come from his mouth" - It's really unwieldy. It can just be shortened to "Lyle said nothing for a long while, before looking away and replying with a grudging croak." That's easier to read without changing anything that's actually said (the nuance between his eyes and potentially his head turning I don't think speaks enough of a difference to his emotions). If you wanted to emphasize the long pause, it would have been a good opportunity to use description; use some of the environment to add to the tone, or show more of his body language. It definitely doesn't need to say words come from people's mouths though.
That’s a fair cop there and went and changed that. It sounds like I might need to review my editing process a bit, since I’m honestly surprised that something that long-winded got past my aloud reading without me noticing it.
Slow and unclear prose is exacberated in action/combat scenes. Visualization is not a simple mental task (hence why books take more brain power than TV). A scene needs to be constantly built and modified while information is tracked and changed and added and do this with a short-term memory that can only hold five things at a time, as we also visually process letters into words and then meaning. And we do this with six characters at once doing stuff in different states of damage and emotion. Every piece of information, important or otherwise, makes it harder to visualize, and all these small prose issues and unimpactful details obfuscate what's really going on in the scene. For example, when Nidoking uses earthquake, I'm told that the world seemed to spin, Dalton is briefly seen by Lyle, Dalton has the wind taken out of him, Lyle doubted that his other teammates were doing much better, a flash of blue is overhead, Lyle hurried up to his feet, Lyle looked up, Artem is zipping over him, and that Artem has squawked at the hostile Poison-type. I have forgotten there is a Nidoking by the end of this paragraph because so much of the focus was on visualizing Lyle's many sensations. I'm not kidding! I had to read back and remind myself what the Nindoking was doing and where! It may be easier for others but it's really difficult to keep track of all this information, and most of it is trying to accomplish the same or similiar thing. All the action needed to do in this paragraph was describe Nidoking causing an earthquake and what that looked like, all characters tossing around and maybe groaning in pain, then Artem blurring overhead to squawk back.
There's another reason one needs to say more with less words in action: tension deflates pretty quickly when you give the reader time. If Lyle (or at least the prose) has the time to see x, notice y, see z, and maybe feel w before the next action, the reader will sit back and not feel the danger or a sense of immediacy. But you keep the prose on the edge of its seat, the reader will be on the edge of their seat. There will be less details described, but those will be filled in by the reader's imagination, and whatever emotions characters are feeling won't need to be described in depth cause a fully immersed reader will be feeling those themself.
This one is also a fair cop, and while I made an attempt at tightening this up a bit, I’m probably going to opt to any further changes to it remain stand as they are for now. I do see your point and will try and be more aggressive about not bogging things down in action scenes in the future, since they are supposed to be fast-paced moments in general.
Thinking back, my favourite parts of this story have been the non-action stuff. The entire prologue, Lyle gathering to the outlaw tryouts, and the big feast everyone had in the previous chapters are all the moments I remember. I think its the prose isn't so bad and distracting for those moments even though it can still be improved. On the flip side, I can only remember a single image of all the fights that have happened, and I can't remember how the Nidoking fight went at all this chapter, just because of all the non-stuff I had to sift through. O remember the Intelleon needing its armour slashed open but not what happens between that and Dalton shocking him. There's missed sniper shots.
I think that some of that might be “action fatigue” making the fights start to blur together a bit, since you’re not the first reviewer to mention that Chapter 4 was a bit of a slog to get through. I’ll play around with some of the feedback you provided in future hostile encounters and maybe the odd revision of earlier scenes when I have time.
Okay sorry for the 1000+ words on clarity and prose, I hope you forgive me. I have a feeling the next few chapters might take it easy on the fighting so I am looking forward to that, hopefully. Anyways, I have other stuff to talk about! I promise! Some of it is even positive, I swear!
To be fair, even if it weren’t positive, I’d prefer to just hear you call things as they were. Since even if it’s not necessarily as fun to hear as praise, I can’t exactly address issues that aren’t pointed out to me, which you’ve been doing a good job at thus far.
Italics
Italics are used too often. They stop being meaningful as emphasis if used more than twice every 5k words, especially if used in dialogue that would already be naturally emphasized by its speakers. I've also realized a reason why italics should be held back unique to your story: there are a few times when I got confused if words were italicized because they were emphasized or if italicized because they were foreign words.
I don’t know if I agree about “twice every 5k” words, but I understand the overall point and have been told as much by my betas. I’ll keep this in mind for the future to see if things can be tamped down on this front a bit.
The Dalton Stairs Incident (I don't have a better title)
There was a moment in the story where Dalton refuses to go down to the stairs in desperation of losing more allies. This moment is amazing. That said volumes about Dalton's character and me interested in seeing how it'll get resolved. It's then resolved by him getting hit and "pinwheeling" into the stairs. I lowkey appreciate that the writing took a simple approach to something the others may not convince him out of, but its such a goofy, cartoonish, and contrived moment that it shatters the tone that otherwise is very solid throughout the entire chapter. Maybe comic relief was the point in which case kudos, but if not, uh, don't have him ragdoll out of his problems :x
Comedic relief was very much not the intent there. I tweaked the verb to try and make it sound a bit more sober in vibe than that.
Past that, him clawing at the sealed stairs was an absolutely brilliant moment. That moment and his unwillingness to move on is the most memorable part of the chapter of him.
Well, glad to hear even if the execution was a bit uneven that things stood out to you there. Since it was definitely meant to be a moment that would linger with readers.
Tone
I think the tone was really solid this chapter. Throughout, I got a sense that the outlaws were cleanly outmatched, and any encounter was something to dread. I was hoping they didn't get into encounters and when they were, I got an uneasy feeling that things won't go well. A lot of this was from how overwhelming they were in the last chapter, but it carries here too. Once they're free from immediate danger, I felt a race against time. The ambiguity of the fates of those left behind also helped with the dread, as well as how well the numbers dwindled over the story.
Oh phew, so the main purpose of the chapter delivered, at least.
The human relic was also intriguing. It's especially interesting cause the protagonist isn't human (although my headcanon is that Irune is human-turned-Pokemon until proven otherwise), but humans still have an influence in the backstory, so I'm left wondering more. It was a bit out of nowhere, but I don't think that's really an issue.
That being said, I'm pretty sure Irune has a hand in the fact the army is so focused on these outlaws, and I feel like the characters and writing doesn't acknowledge this possibility enough. It just feels like an elephant in the room. Or I'm wrong, but then why does Irune feel so special?
Hold onto those thoughts, really. Though I did try to play up that realization a bit more in the next chapter, even if the cast won’t be rid of Irune that quickly.
Characters
I think individual army soldiers are a bit bland, feeling more like cartoon villains then people with a purpose to go after our protagonists. That being said, and this goes with the last section, they feel component, which is super pleasant and keeps some interest to them.
I mean, do they really count as “characters” beyond being “random encounters”? ^^;
Though if it’s any consolation, there will be some army characters that get a bit more development. So hopefully that assuages a few of these issues that you have here.
I think my favourite part about this chapter was that other characters got more spotlight. I loved reading more about Kate (although I'm totally biased) and her interactions with stuff, and I found more depth to Dalton than I was expecting. I think this is great, especially since Lyle got the focus he needed leading up to this but got put relatively into the backseat at the right time for the other characters to start having their time to be fleshed out.
Glad to hear. This actually was not the case in the original version of Chapter 4 since the scene from Kate’s PoV was originally not written from hers, but it sounds like going back to rebalance things paid off.
Final thoughts
I hope you don't mind going on about prose and clarity. It really, really stuck out to me and I had a loooot of words (13k!!) to read so it really, really stuck out to me and I had a lot of time to analyze it. And it really bums me out, because even though the execution isn't hitting it for me, I still love everything deeper past the surface. I'm really hoping the prose improves as chapters go along cause this is still the story that has the most interesting elements to me. I said I am worried if I can keep continuing but that's a case of can and can not; I have limited time and I don't think it's healthy for me if it's an unpleasant experience of confusion and exhaustion. I'm concerned if I can keep doing this. But deep down I want to know more about what happens, that's what will let me try at least one more chapter, and I certainly do think it's strong with its strengths (tone, characters, and how it interacts with the setting). I'm hoping the prose improves as I read, and I'm really hoping this long review can help you in some shape or form.
I mean, if push comes to shove, feel free to pace yourself for reading these chapters. Though thank you for reading the story and giving your honest thoughts thus far, since they’ve been very insightful and full of handy pointers to keep an eye out for.
Thanks again for your patience and feedback, everyone. Though after keeping you in suspense for two months, I suppose now’s as good a time as any to go back and check in on the gang, huh?
Es ist nicht bekannt, was Wunders erste Entdecker in die Mysteriösen Orte brachte; sei es die Rettung eines Gefährten in Not, Neugierde, die den Drang weckte, mutig hinauszugehen, um das Unbekannte zu erkunden, oder einfach nur ein Zufall des Schicksals. Was auch immer der Grund war, die Entdecker jener frühen Zeiten entdeckten Mysteriöse Orte schnell als eine Quelle von Schätzen und Wundern, die vor der Außenwelt verborgen waren.
Seltsame Samen, die ihren Verbrauchern unnatürliche Stärken und Krankheiten einflößen. Wunderorbe, die durch die Verzerrung dieser Orte erschaffen wurden und von demselben Äther durchdrungen sein sollen wie die Angriffe, die wir im Kampf ausführen. Transformationskräfte, die es uns ermöglichen, Kleidung mit schützenden Eigenschaften herzustellen, gewöhnlichen Gummis die Fähigkeit zu verleihen, ihre Verbraucher zu stärken, und Ringel zu gestalten, um diejenigen zu unterstützen, die solche Orte durchqueren. Ungleichmäßige Ströme von Zeit und Raum, die weiterhin menschliche Relikte hinterlassen, auch wenn sie in unserer Welt immer seltener werden.
Es ist vielleicht passend, dass Mysteriöse Orte und ihre Schätze schon in diesen frühen Zeiten die Aufmerksamkeit von Kaufleuten auf sich zogen. Überall in den Ländern von Wunder verdienen viele Pokémon ihren Lebensunterhalt mit den Schätzen, die von Mysteriösen Orten gesammelt wurden, und helfen denen, die sie erkunden möchten.
Und dann gibt es noch die Kaufleute, die sich zu den Mitforschern zählen. Mutige und unerschrockene Seelen, die der Verzerrung selbst trotzen, um ihre Waren anzubieten und denen zu helfen, die diese Orte durchstreifen. Ihr Handwerk ist so alt wie unsere geschriebene Geschichte, wobei einige wie der legendäre Torneko der Abenteurer zu den Reihen von Wunders ersten Entdeckern in jenen Zeiten gezählt werden, in denen Geschichte und Folklore nur noch schwer voneinander zu unterscheiden sind.
Sollten Sie auf einen solchen Händler stoßen, können seine Waren und Dienstleistungen für einen zweiten Wind sorgen. Für einen Preis. Sollte es über Ihre Mittel oder Ihren Willen hinausgehen, lehnen Sie höflich ab und machen Sie weiter. Solche Händler sind ausnahmslos stark und erfahren darin, sich gegen Möchtegern-Diebe zu verteidigen, sowohl Wilde als auch Zivile.
Egal wie verzweifelt Ihre Notlage auch sein mag, Sie sind gut beraten, sich diese nicht zum Feind zu machen.
- Auszug aus »Das Erkunderhandbuch zu Merkwürdigen Orten«
Irune wearily trudged along through a dense fog thick enough to barely see past the tip of her snout. Beyond that, there was only the hazy light of fire from Lyle’s vents coming through the mist—the only reminder of her teammates’ presence beyond the tugs along the guiding string in her claws. The hazy surroundings kept her in a sort of quiet solace, leaving little to compete with the thoughts swirling about in her mind.
… She’d really screwed up. She didn’t even mean to say half the things she did to Kate and the others after they’d fought off the Monster House earlier. She just didn’t want to see them suck yet another Pokémon into her problems, not after what had happened to so many others she’d run into over the past year.
And yet, by trying to intervene, she’d made the Pokémon she was counting on to escort her to the Divine Roost worse off for it. At least one of whom she doubted could fight properly at the moment. She had never been under any illusions that their relationship wasn’t ultimately transactional, but the three couldn’t possibly have trusted her more after everything that had happened…
… And that was even before factoring in how they’d seen that power that slumbered inside of her. The same power she was trying to bottle up to the point that she was making this desperate journey to the Divine Roost for a chance to control it and hide it away from the rest of the world. The same power had gotten her into trouble with the army in the first place. Did those three realize what had happened there? If so, would they turn her over to Lacan to try and save their hides over it?
A mixture of guilt and panic swirled in the Axew’s head as it felt as if a part of her was about to explode. Just then, Irune noticed the mist around her starting to thin as her teammates began coming back into view. The cave roof vanished once they passed a stony overhang, and she stepped out into a place that was completely different from the muggy jungles of Primordial Woods:
A craggy scrubland, with trench-like chambers and passages formed out of dark, uneven stone. A glance upward revealed that the skies were deep blue and barely lit up from late twilight. Probably. With the way Mystery Dungeons had kept surprising her over the past year, she wouldn’t have ruled out the possibility that the sky just always looked like this in this place.
Thankfully, her teammates were more concerned with their surroundings than her right then. Lyle and Kate stopped to check up on Dalton’s arm as they went to consult their handbook, the Sneasel musing aloud that perhaps the Heliolisk was doing better after the healing berries and seeds had had more time to take effect. An attempt to move his limb swiftly disabused everyone of that notion, as Dalton fought back a yelp and grit his teeth in a pained grimace. An attempt to open his frill met similar results.
Irune let her eyes wander and tried not to listen to her teammate as she stopped to try and catch her breath. She didn’t need reminders of how things had turned out because of her decisions right now.
A glimpse upwards at the edge of the walls revealed wisps of grass clinging to the tops of the ledges surrounding them far above, violently whipping back and forth with unfelt wind. Irune didn’t know a lot about Mystery Dungeons, but she knew that attempting to climb these stony faces would go nowhere. If this place was anything like some of the other Mystery Dungeons she’d been in in the past year, trying to do so would be a recipe for getting blown off while scaling the wall faces. Not that they would be going far even if they succeeded.
There in the sky above them was a plateau on a spindly, stony spire that mushroomed beyond its base almost like some sort of strange tree, surrounded on all sides by sudden drops into a mist-filled abyss. Irune couldn’t see the top of the plateau, but from its size, she guessed it was another floor of the Mystery Dungeon they were in which the Distortion had made visible. The quiet, blanching grimaces on her teammates’ faces all but confirmed the guess.
“Gods, talk about coming out of the pan and into the fire,” Kate gulped.
… Where were they even supposed to start right now? The only one of them who had traveled around enough to potentially recognize this place was Dalton. Between the way he was struggling to do much more than walk along with the team and his worried gaze skywards, if he knew this place from beyond books, he was in no state to turn that knowledge to his advantage.
Irune took a moment to scan her surroundings, when she noticed Lyle glancing over at her. She hesitated briefly, uneasily kicking her feet against the grassy earth beneath her feet. She… didn’t know if she was ready to talk with him right now, and she didn’t know if he’d even want to talk with her. So for the time being, it was best to keep quiet and stay focused on their problems at hand.
“How far do we need to make it through Raptor Rock until we find an exit?” she asked.
“Somewhere between six and eight floors if that handbook was right,,” Lyle replied. “Assuming we don’t run into any more nasty surprises.”
A sharp wince followed Lyle’s statement, as he and Irune looked over to see Dalton had inadvertently shifted his wounded arm and was visibly blinking back tears. Irune knew that she’d made some desperate escapes in the past year, but could Dalton make it through that many floors of a Mystery Dungeon in this condition? Kate looked over and pinned her ears back, and as the Sneasel turned back to her Quilava teammate, Irune already knew what the answer to that question was before the words left her mouth:
“Lyle, how do you expect us to fight through six floors like this?!” she exclaimed. “We’re all beat and Dalton can’t even chuck items properly right now!”
An uncomfortable silence fell over the gathered Outlaws, as neither Irune nor her teammates were sure of what to do. Irune hadn’t been any stranger to leaving others behind, and a part of her had been relieved that she hadn’t had to do the same with any of her present teammates since fleeing Waterhead Cave...
But history suggested that it would be a matter of time before things came to that. Even so, leaving Dalton behind like this? In a state where he’d be struggling to defend himself in Mystery Dungeon full of Wilders?
Irune didn’t know if she’d have the heart to write him off. Not like this.
Even if she and the others did, what good would come of it? Dalton had been the one who’d found their escape routes in the first place. Without him, it’d likely doom her expedition to the Divine Roost to inevitable failure and recapture by the army.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. They had a moment of quiet right now. They still had options before they continued on, didn’t they? The Axew looked about her teammates, as Lyle stepped to the fore of his other teammates, rearing up and motioning for calm with his paws.
“W-We can sneak around a bit. The handbook said Raptor Rock isn’t supposed to be as harsh of a Mystery Dungeon and we were doing that fine for a good chunk of those last few floors,” the Quilava said unconvincingly. “Maybe we’ll get lucky. We could come across a Pocket to lie low in, or an uncharted exit, or-”
Before Lyle could finish speaking, a harsh, whistling wind rang out along the floor. A gust followed, forceful enough to make Irune and the rest of Team Forager shield their eyes. The wind lingered a moment, before ebbing away and leaving the Dragon-type to shiver a bit from the autumnal chill. To think she’d miss Primordial Woods’ muggy heat already!
The Axew pawed at her eyes and looked towards her teammates when she immediately realized something was wrong. The lot of them had suddenly flushed pale and looked much as if they’d just seen Lacan himself round the corner.
That was as good a sign as any that that wind wasn’t supposed to happen. Worse still, from her teammates’ expressions, Irune was pretty sure that they were in serious danger right now.
“Oh Götterblut, the dungeon winds are coming now of all times?” Kate muttered. “What god’s spirit did we piss off to get into this situation?”
“H-Hrmph, it’s Raptor Rock,” Dalton insisted, his own voice audibly uneasily. “It could just as easily be from winds outside reverberating.”
“We wouldn’t have felt it if it was, Scales!” the Sneasel piped. “I’ll admit I don’t exactly know a lot about this Mystery Dungeon, but do you really wanna place any bets in your current condition that that was really just wind from outside that just blew in our faces?”
The Heliolisk grimaced and remained silent. Irune supposed that was one way to tell he wasn’t confident enough to take that bet. The Axew glanced over towards Lyle and saw his fire had come out from his vents, simmering with anxious tension.
“Lyle? A-Are we sure that it’s not something else making that noise?” she gulped.
“Well, we’ll find out in about five minutes. Tops,” Kate piped. “If you don’t feel like risking a bad landing somewhere else in this dungeon or just outside of it, we should find a place to lay low before then.”
… Five minutes. even if they still had a Stairs Orb with them, it was going to be challenging. But they couldn’t just sit here! Irune knew that Lacan wanted her for that power within her. She didn’t know why, but knowing the army and the worrisome rumors about the war’s progress in Edialeigh, it probably boiled down to someone in the army thinking that it could be used as a weapon of some sort.
… Maybe Lacan had some sort of personal motivation, since he or whoever put him up to this really wanted that power. Badly enough to keep him chasing her around Varhyde instead of fighting on the frontlines in spite of his strength. And during the times they had crossed paths in the past year, Lacan had always been extremely mindful of her whenever she’d been injured, as if the world would’ve ended had the worst come to pass.
Irune didn’t know what would happen to that power if she ever got seriously hurt, but she really didn’t want to find out.
Nobody else felt like contesting Kate’s suggestion, and before Irune knew it, she and the others were hurriedly making their way down a passage exiting the left of their chamber. They followed a winding path to a long, strip-like space with pillars of stone jutting up just out of reach. Another turn later, they continued on towards a place where the ground narrowed into thin, spiraling paths. Ones that curled in among themselves above the abyss below.
There wasn’t any sign of the stairs during all of that. But more worrying still, the entire time, the floor was quiet with not so much as the sound of a Wilder passing in the distance. Irune noticed stray feathers on the ground as they carried on. She saw plumes from Rufflet and Braviary, some Staraptor ones near a Sleep Seed that Lyle found and snagged along their way, even the brilliant teal of a Hawlucha’s wing feathers. Clearly ‘Raptor Rock’ wasn’t all that undeserved a name from the Pokémon that lived here. But they were doing their best to keep themselves hidden.
From how those Pokémon would be formidable foes in their own right, Irune was increasingly convinced that the floor they were on really was going to be wiped in a few minutes.
As if on cue, the winds suddenly kicked up again, this time noticeably louder and stronger. Enough so that Irune had to cling to Lyle’s flank for dear life as the Quilava dropped down and dug all four of his feet into the ground to keep his balance. Irune shivered and pressed up against the Fire-type’s warmth. He looked back briefly, before he gaped up at the distorted sky above him with a face that looked like he was expecting it would cave in on them at any moment.
“Yeah… that’s… not just wind from the outside,” the Quilava gulped. “And I’m pretty sure we don’t have five minutes to work with to get out of here.”
Everyone grimaced, joining Lyle with blank stares skywards. Irune’s heart was pounding now, her breaths coming out in shallow pants as her eyes started to mist up with frightened tears. G-Gods, wh-what were they supposed to do here?!
Just then, Irune’s nose pricked up with a fruity odor on the air that brought back memories of being patched up after bad spills in past Mystery Dungeons. The Axew blinked briefly to make sure her mind was tricking her and turned her head up. She sniffed at the air, and no, the odor was definitely there, since that was distinctly a whiff of…
“... Oran Berries?” she murmured. “Do you all smell it too?”
Lyle blinked at her question and gave an apprehensive sniff at the air himself, with Kate and Dalton following suit. Their expressions convinced her that she wasn’t going crazy, there really was a smell of Oran Berries in the air. Dalton winced and shifted briefly, shakily peering over at her as his face fell into a wary frown.
“How’s that supposed to help us right now?” the Heliolisk asked. “For all we know, that’s from a team of Hunters prowling around to go bounty hunting!”
Irune flinched at the Electric-type’s reply. Yes… that was certainly a possibility. But Lacan hadn’t tipped off the Grünhäuter around Moonturn Square in time to put up public bounties for them back in Moonturn Square, and they’d seen neither hide nor scale of Lacan’s Grünhäuter since they entered Primordial Woods…
Irune shook her head. It admittedly wasn’t much of a reassurance, but it was all they had to go on right then
“I mean, I don’t know for sure that it’s not. But I don’t think Lacan would’ve have thought of sending Pokémon to search for us here?” she replied, stammering a bit as she tried to convince herself with her own words. “He leads a Fähnlein, and there’s only so many Pokémon in it. Wouldn’t he have logically divided it up around Moonturn Square since he didn’t know what direction we’d flee from it?”
The others traded hesitant looks and lingered a moment. She… admittedly couldn’t fault them for being hesitant. Even if they hadn’t had that fight between them earlier, she was asking them to place their hopes into such a flimsy lead when they were traveling with a wounded teammate. For all she knew, Dalton was right and the Oran Berries really were from a Hunter’s encampment. Or they belonged to some Wilders who’d gotten into an exposure chest or abandoned bag. Or she was just wrong and it really was a sign those damned soldiers were here, too.
There were plenty of possibilities that would lead to a hostile encounter, one they were hardly guaranteed to overcome in their present states if they got into another skirmish…
The wind suddenly kicked up again, blowing fiercely enough to force Lyle back onto all fours and blow Irune and Dalton off their feet. Things went by so quickly after that: she felt her back in the ground and the chilly wind blow over her scales, Dalton crying out in pain just loud enough to be heard over its whistle. Irune screwed her eyes shut and rolled over onto her belly as the wind continued howling and she started to feel light-headed.
Much to her relief, the wind began to let up, as she laid there a moment and panted tensely. The next thing she knew, she felt warm paws sharply tugged her up and as she saw Lyle’s underbelly. A little ways off behind him, Kate was busy helping Dalton up in the background as he audibly fought back a whimper—the wind must’ve made him roll onto his injured arm again.
Irune felt Lyle’s grip tighten on her and looked up at his face. He was wide-eyed with his vents pouring nervous fire, with a face that looked equal parts frightened and… worried? He suck in a sharp breath and looked of at his similarly frightened teammates, and then up nervously at the sky above.
“... Okay, point taken. We’ll fight things out if we have to,” Lyle said. “Come on, whatever that smell’s coming from, we’ll take our chances with it.”
Lyle crouched and sniffed at the air, Irune following his head off towards his left before the stoat bounded off. Irune hurried after her Quilava guide, lingering just long enough for Kate to see her and help Dalton limp along as the four made their way from one intersection of corridors to the next. After a tense few moments that felt like a heart-pounding eternity, they came to a chamber consisting of a stony ledge wedged between a cliff on one hand, and an overhang on the other where the smell of the Oran Berries was particularly strong, following it to a barren patch of dirt as Team Forager’s faces collectively froze into a shared grimace.
“That smell must’ve been some Hunters who just bailed and teleported out from here,” Kate gulped. “This place is a dead-end!”
Irune watched as the fight seemed to go out of the eyes of her teammates, with Lyle in particular hanging his head and staring blankly at the ground. I-It couldn’t really be a dead end, could it? She hadn’t spent the past year running from Lacan and his goons for things to just wait to be swept away~ She knew that she had smelled Oran Berries earlier! Why, she could even smell them right now!
“Huh?”
Irune sniffed carefully as she realized that there was a patch of dirt with a small blue stain that smelled of Oran Berries. She supposed that residue would leave a scent, but one she could smell from so far away? She stooped and reached out at the dirt in front of her, when the others noticed her, her Quilava teammate blinking his eyes puzzledly.
“Wait. Irune, what are you-?”
She prodded at the dirt, when it abruptly gave way and kicked up a large cloud of dust. Irune jolted back with a sharp yelp and fell onto her rump, coughing from the dust getting into her lungs as Team Forager’s members gathered around. And then she saw it: there in the void she’d just uncovered was a set of steps they’d been taking from one floor to the next in the Mystery Dungeons they’d gone through.
“A-Ah! I didn’t know that the stairs to the next floor could be hidden like that!”
“They aren’t,” Lyle said, eyeing the stairs warily. “And if they were a new set that just formed, it should’ve made more of a racket with the Distortion shifting the earth around to form it.”
Wait. Then these weren’t normal stairs? Irune supposed she’d vaguely heard of stories like this before. Something that another Outlaw she’d met had called a ‘Geheimbasar₁’ that she was struggling to remember details about. A sharp scoff drew her attention over to Kate, right as the Sneasel pinned her ears back and shook her head before already making her way down the steps.
“Oh come on, Lyle. Are you really that out of things? That’s the entrance to a Secret Bazaar!” she exclaimed. “This is as good of a lucky break as we’re gonna get, so let’s hurry up and get out of here!”
Right. That’s where she heard those stories from. Those places were small Pockets that got taken over by merchants that would get shuffled around in the Distortion! With how dire their present circumstances were, Irune supposed they could’ve done worse than to come across a place like this.
Dalton hurried forward along with Kate right as she came to a stop in front of a patch of fog at the base of the steps and hurriedly fished out the guiding string. Irune didn’t waste any time following them down, with Lyle darting along right on her heels.
Then, his footsteps abruptly stopped all of a sudden. The Axew glanced past her shoulder as Lyle stopped to rear up and had an expression that looked spooked.
“Kate, you’re sure this is a Secret Bazaar?” he asked. “It can’t possibly be anything else at all?”
Irune gulped and faltered briefly. They already made a decision to fight things out if things came to it, which if Kate was wrong and this was a Wilder’s den or heaven forbid, an Exploration Team’s encampment, they’d have to. Somehow she hadn’t expected her stomach to flutter like this staring off into the unknown.
She shuffled back a couple steps towards Lyle and she peered down uneasily at the foggy entrance at the base. Even if Kate was right, would going into a Secret Bazaar really be a refuge for them?
“Now that you mention it, is it safe for us to go on ahead, Lyle?” Irune asked. “We’re Outlaws, aren’t we? Won’t those merchants in this Bazaar figure it out?”
Kate and Dalton shot back impatient glares, and Lyle poked his head up towards the stairs. He lingered a moment, before faltering and grabbing onto her.
“I-It’s safer than the alternative!” he insisted. “Come on, you found this place, so stop dragging your feet like-!”
Irune couldn’t hear the rest of Lyle’s words as the wind suddenly came back, blowing strong enough to sweep her off her feet. Irune’s eyes widened as the wind picked her up and started to blow her out of the gully for the steps, feeling stray pebbles and twigs fly by.
Irune screamed and flailed desperately after she no longer felt the ground below her. She felt warm, fuzzy paws latch onto her and pull her back down. The pull of the air was no longer enough to keep her aloft as Irune hit the steps with a yelp, tumbling to a stop alongside Lyle at the base of the steps as the winds kicked up into a deafening howl.
Irune shivered and a low whimper came from the back of her throat, as she realized that she’d almost gotten caught up in the Dungeon Winds. A tug at her shoulder drug her back onto her feet and snapped her back to attention, as she looked up to see Lyle pulling her into at the mouth of the fog with Kate and Dalton already vanishing from view.
“H-Hold on tight to the string and don’t stop running!” the Quilava cried. “We’re getting out of here!”
The Axew didn’t know how long it’d taken them to find this place, but they clearly didn’t have five minutes left before the dungeon cleared the floor. Or one minute. Or thirty seconds for that matter.
That was all the prodding she needed, as the Axew latched onto the guiding string and ran for dear life into the fog after Kate and Dalton’s vanishing forms. She felt Lyle following along from behind, hurriedly pushing her forward as howling winds nipped at their backs and the sound of crashing and grinding stone rang out behind them.
The whole time, Irune didn’t dare stop to look back as the world behind her was blown into parts unknown, and the word before her vanished into mist.
Team Forager only slowed down after they stopped feeling the wind against their bodies, the cue that they were far enough into their island of stability to safely catch their breaths. After a tense, shaky moment to regain their bearings, Lyle and his teammates opted to sort themselves out in the passage leading to the Pocket ahead before the mist got too thick. Lyle was moved to the front of the group to lead everyone with the string, with Kate following behind, and Dalton and Irune trailing her from the rear. As the most vulnerable members at that moment, they needed every leg up they could get if they wound up having to cut and run.
After taking the head of the group again, Lyle forced his fire from his vents to try and provide a guiding light for the others through the haze. From the way he heard them sputter and the thick tang of smoke in the air, he wondered how much of a difference the flames coming from his exhausted body made. The howling winds grew fainter and fainter the further Team Forager made their way down the passage, as did the rest of Lyle’s senses as the effects of the surrounding Distortion had their expected effects. Before he knew it, there was nothing to be seen or heard but fog thick enough that he could barely see his trembling paws and the muddled sounds and scents of his teammates behind him.
The Quilava stopped a moment as his heart raced in his chest and sucked in a sharp breath to try and calm his nerves. If he and Irune had lingered for just a moment longer back there, they would have been swept up into the Distortion and would’ve woken up gods-knew-where in the Mystery Dungeon. If they would’ve ever woken up again at all.
A tug from the guiding string in his paws brought him to attention, as Kate walked up behind him with a worried look.
“Hey, not that going easy isn’t a good idea for Scales right now, but this really isn’t a good place to linger,” she said. “Was there something wrong up ahead?”
Lyle paused and looked down. Gods, how had he gotten into this mess? How was he just now regretting not just crawling into a burrow and opting to take his chances that he’d get overlooked by the Grünhäuter after going to ground?
Dalton came into view afterwards, the Heliolisk staggering and fighting back a whine as he tried not to focus on his injured arm. Irune followed afterwards, looking up at the Electric-type with a guilty expression as she pawed at something under her scarf.
… Right, her pendant. That little token that Irune was insistent that she needed in order to find whatever she was looking for from the Divine Roost’s treasure. The only one treasure definitely out there that was big enough to get them out of as much hot water as they were in right now. The one that would give him a hope of being able to finally not be at the whims of a world that seemed hell-bent on only giving him bad options to pick from to survive.
Except, as a glance at Dalton reminded, they had more immediate problems they needed to get through first.
“I didn’t notice anything yet,” Lyle said, shaking his head. “Just… stay on your guard. Even if there really is a Secret Bazaar up ahead, I’m not sure what sort of reception we’re going to get from it.”
Nobody contested Lyle’s point before he led his teammates along. After a moment that felt like a small eternity to his aching limbs, the Quilava’s vision and senses gradually started to return. First, there was the smell of Oran Berries pricking his nose again, then the sound of murmuring chatter as he began to see more and more of his teammates from glimpses over his shoulder. At long last, the outlines of some sort of cave clearing began to fill in from up ahead along with the glow of torches and lanterns filled with Luminous Moss, and indistinct voices began to reach his ears through the air.
As Lyle stepped out of the fog, he quickly discovered he’d come out into a Pocket consisting of a clearing surrounded by steep, stone walls with a stony lip that formed some sort of natural skylight. A series of mats were spread out with items and bric-a-brac scattered around on them that were tended to by a small party of Pokémon. Much as Kate suspected, it was a Secret Bazaar, and the Pokémon approaching them must’ve been the merchants who ran it.
The ringleader of the lot appeared to be a Golisopod that initially stood guard at a mat in front of a darkened passage. He approached flanked by a Mimikyu and Araquanid who left a makeshift fountain to join him from his right. Then came a Cramorant and a Drampa who joined on his left from a mat with various bags, some of them carrying that same Oran scent from earlier. The five merchants sported incredulous stares, which Lyle supposed was as sure a sign as any that they’d stepped out looking like they’d been run over by a boulder.
… Which considering the Wilders they’d fought while in Primordial Woods, wasn’t all that far from the truth.
“Gottverdammt, talk about good timing there,” the Golisopod remarked. “You all must’ve just missed the floor getting wiped.”
“What on earth happened to you all?” the Cramorant asked. “Your Heliolisk pal there looks a bit chewed up. Literally, even.”
Lyle blinked and glanced back at Dalton just in time to see him bristle and pull his tail in tight with a defensive scowl. Now that Lyle had gotten a better look at him, he supposed those bite marks marring the Electric-type’s scales weren’t exactly hard to miss.
The Quilava hesitated for a moment. Was it safe to just explain what had really happened? They had stolen the identities of a team of Hunters. Lyle noticed Kate open her mouth to speak before trailing off herself, evidently having trouble settling on what to say in reply.
“We’re an Exploration Team,” he sighed. “As you can see, we’ve been having some crap luck in the Dungeon.”
Hopefully that’d be enough to get them off their backs. Since the more he thought about it, the more just keeping their mouths shut about details sounded like a good idea-
“We passed through Primordial Woods earlier to reach the Mystery Dungeon outside,” Irune explained, pawing at the back of her head meekly. “We… kinda underestimated how difficult the journey would be and were looking for a place to lick our wounds.”
Well, too late. Lyle bit his lip, expecting to be peppered with probing questions about what their business was going through Primordial Woods, or questions about Hunter stuff like their rank and guild that were bound to be a headache to keep straight, or…
“You’ll need a bit more than that with wounds like those! I’m surprised you even managed to limp down the stairs in that condition!” the Cramorant exclaimed. “Why on earth did you four not use your badges for help?”
Or something like that.
Lyle blanched at the Cramorant’s comment. He wasn’t sure how to answer that question since they didn’t have badges to show at the moment. But were they really hurt that badly right now? Dalton aside, he didn’t think that their wounds were that severe.
Lyle glanced over his teammates and stiffened up. A closer look at Irune revealed cuts along her hide, and Kate had patches of fur that were visibly matted with dirt and dried blood.
Gods, no wonder why he felt like crap right now if Irune and Kate had wounds like those. Why, those two had been thrown around less than he had! He guessed that maybe their wounds would have looked a bit better had they had time to stop and dress them, but...
“We… don’t have any?” Irune replied. “We’re not affiliated with a guild, so-”
Ack, what was Irune doing?! She’d tip the whole world off to something being up with them with a hesitant answer like that. Lyle watched as Kate hurriedly darted over and nudged the Axew for silence, before shooting a shaky grin back at the gathered merchants.
“W-We’re new to this!” she insisted. “We just made a bit of a clumsy mistake as Explorers, so lesson learned!”
“... Then why didn’t you use an Escape Orb?” the Mimikyu asked. “It’d have taken you back to where you came from and you could’ve flagged down a team entering there.”
“Yeah, I know that times are tough, but I’ve never heard anyone say Primordial Woods was an easy dungeon to traverse,” the Golisopod added, giving a wary frown. “Are you seriously telling me that you four planned on journeying through two dungeons and didn’t take any precautions for something going wrong?”
Lyle stared back dumbly at the Water-type. Blauflamme, just how was he supposed to respond to that?! The merchants surely had grown suspicious of their behavior by now, so what on earth were they supposed to do?
“Urgh… we didn’t get a chance.”
Lyle looked back at Dalton as the Heliolisk tottered with a defeated, downcast gaze. Lyle hesitated. They were all hurt right now, he suspected earlier that Dalton’s arm was broken, but from the way he was struggling to keep his balance, he must’ve been doing worse than he thought. The merchants traded wary glances with one another. Sensing that their opportunity to escape was slipping through their paws, Lyle flattened his ears and stammered a bit, deciding that their best chance was to acknowledge their story sounded fishy and try to move on.
“L-Look, I know that none of that sounds satisfying to you, but that really happened,” he pleaded. “We just need a way out of here. We’re not exactly familiar with this place, and if you could help us find an exit, it could mean the difference between our Team holding together or not.”
Lyle looked up as the Golisopod hesitated, before stepping forward and sizing up the four Outlaws with a flash of his claws. The Bug-type clearly sensed that something was wrong with them with a reaction like that. Lyle felt his fire flicker in anxiety and fought to tamp it down, flattening his ears and biting his lip as the Bug-type let his eyes linger on them. After a good, long while, the Golisopod shook his head and spoke up in a wary tone.
“I’ll see if there’s a teleporter from the guild in town who can come and grab you,” the Golisopod said. “Normally, I’d show you an exit myself, but you really should get those wounds looked at.”
“No!”
Lyle felt their blood drain from his face and watched Kate and Dalton flush pale as Irune darted in with frantic stare. Then came the flash of realization that she’d exposed them with her behavior as she froze in place, and then shrank back timidly.
Gottverdammt, she just had to have an outburst like that right now.
In the corner of his eye, Lyle could see Kate and Dalton’s expressions had become visibly alarmed. From the way the merchants’ expressions were hardening and taking on dubious appearances in live-time, it was probably for good reason.
This… This was it, wasn’t it? They were going to get jumped and turned in here.
Lyle’s mind went blank in a panic as Irune continued to trip over her words. The Axew pawed uneasily at her scarf, and grabbed at what Lyle assumed was her pendant underneath through the fabric. She sucked in a breath and spoke up again, looking much like a Rattata that had been backed into a corner.
“I mean- It’s just that- We’re in a bit of a complicated situation right now,” the Axew explained. “We would really rather just pay for your services to get out of here.”
The Golisopod gave an incredulous cock of his brow in reply, before looking over Team Forager’s members when a moment of realization seemed to come over his face. A deep scowl set in and his body’s posture grew defensive, as if he were ready to pounce on them at a moment. He knew, he had to have known they were Outlaws from that reaction.
The Quilava flinched and braced himself, expecting the Golisopod and his fellows to set upon them at any moment, only for the Bug-type merchant to stop, and him to shake his head.
“Hrmph. You’re lucky that it’s part of my job to not ask questions about the Pokémon I guide, kid,” the Golisopod grunted. “I’ll show you the long way out, but it’ll be 100 Poké. And I won’t accept Carolins either.”
Lyle exhaled and looked over at his teammates. Dalton and Irune seemed visibly tense, while Kate looked like she’d just been soaked in the face. The Sneasel pinned her ears back and narrowed her eyes into a sharp glare, giving an irritated flash of her claws.
“Are you seriously charging us money for help right now?!” she hissed. “You just went on about how we weren’t in good shape!”
“I ought to demand more from you since I can already tell you four are trouble and are probably going to make me waste time answering questions from the Gendarmen later on,” the Golisopod snorted back. “But I don’t like kicking ‘mons when they’re down, and 100 Poké isn’t that hard to scrape together. Just send it my way, I get you out of here, and give you directions for going straight to the local medic since getting a normal rescue won’t cut it for you.”
Lyle traded uneasy glances with his teammates. This Golisopod had them over a barrel and he were pretty sure that the bug knew it. Could they even trust him? How could they be sure that he wasn’t setting them up? Kate and Dalton seemed to be paralyzed with indecision, as Irune looked up and pawed at Lyle with a low whisper.
“Should we accept his offer?” she whispered. “I know we’re not doing well right now, but it could be some sort of trap.”
Lyle pawed at his head uneasily when he felt something like sand get dislodged from under his fur and something warm and sticky cling his paw. The Quilava pulled it back and noticed that there was dark fluid now staining it. Blood, not that the smell and texture left any room for doubt.
… Screw it, the Golisopod had given them an out when he and his buddies could’ve just wiped them out on the spot. Or extorted them for everything they had. Even if Lyle didn’t fully trust the ‘mon… did they really have better options right now?
“Uh… it’s 100 Poké, right? And how exactly were we supposed to find this medic again?”
True to his word, the Golisopod led Team Forager’s members down the tunnel from the Secret Bazaar and into a fog-shrouded passage that started a short ways from its mouth. So that was how these merchants made their way in. The whole time, Lyle and his teammates were on pins and needles, half-expecting their guide to shove them off the path and into the Distortion at any second. Those fears never came to pass, as the Quilava saw the mist clear and little by little to reveal a gully with strange light down from above.
When they popped out the end of the gully, Lyle discovered they had exited into a darkened grassland. The skies above them were lit up by the moon and stars, and awash in ethereal bands of blue and green light. A glance behind revealed a large mass of fog. Rising from its center the spindly stone spire and the peak of Raptor Rock towering over the whole Mystery Dungeon much like a giant, stony mushroom cap. Lyle supposed that the effects of its Distortion would explain why the auroras were so bright right now.
… Was it just from the Distortion? No matter what direction he looked off in, the Quilava could see revealed bands of similarly colored light that looked every bit as bright as the ones around Raptor Rock. Lyle had heard that auroras now occurred naturally in parts of Wander far away what they used to before the Great Flash, including in a number of Provinzen in Varhyde. Some were known for having ones that were particularly vivid ones even without the influence of nearby Mystery Dungeons.
From how bright the lights in the sky overhead were, Lyle supposed that they’d just arrived at one of those places.
He stared up blankly for a moment, almost forgetting about his and his teammates’ injuries, or the fact that they were risking life and limb to try and beat that damned Graf Lacan across the Kingdom to some treasure that for all they knew was being plundered by someone else at this very moment. A low hiss snapped him back to reality, Lyle and his companions bracing themselves as they whirled around to see the Golisopod retracing his steps back to the gully and looking over his shoulder with a sharp frown.
“Last chance to go back and ask for someone from the Guild to come and get you,” the Golisopod harrumphed. “We might be close by to Errberk Village, but it’s still quite a walk.”
Lyle was honestly half-tempted to take the merchant up on his offer. For all they knew, they’d just emerged half the kingdom away from Toya Square. But he didn’t want to push his luck further, not after today. Kate was clearly even less enthused by the idea. The Sneasel’s face fell into a sharp scowl as she flattened her ears out and pointed her left claw accusingly at the Bug-type.
“Look, we had a deal alright?” she harrumphed. “So just leave us be and tell us where we need to go.”
The Golisopod scowled back silently, and for a moment, Lyle worried that the Bug-type would abruptly renege on his deal. The Quilava braced himself, readying a Smokescreen at the back of his throat to spit up at a moment’s notice… except it was never needed. The Golisopod sighed and shook his head instead, before motioning off at a dirt path in the tall grasses a little ways off.
“You four really are stubborn types…” the guide sighed. “Follow the path and you’ll come across the village soon enough. Just try not to keel over along the way.”
Lyle breathed out a sigh of relief the guide started to head back for the passage into Raptor Rock. The Golisopod then stopped and lingered a moment, much to the Quilava’s confusion.
“If you’ve got a reason to be this averse to accepting help, you probably want to consider changing things up in your lives,” the Golisopod said. “Not everybody has the luxury of getting a chance to do that after a scare like this.”
Lyle fell silent at the Bug-type’s words. They were truer than the merchant would ever know, not least of all since they were the only Pokémon still standing from their original bands. The Quilava bit his lip and looked away briefly, as Kate folded her arms with a sharp scoff and roll of her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll keep it in mind.”
The Golisopod stood still for a moment, before continuing on into the passage back to his and his fellow merchants’ Pocket. As the Golisopod’s body slipped off and melted away into the mist-shrouded gully, Lyle looked on for a brief moment. His ears pricked to attention from a sharp harrumph, and from a glance discovered Kate was already making her way off for the path with a sour expression settled over her face.
“Hrmph, would it have killed that asshole to give some well-wishing?” she complained. “Seriously, when was the last time anyone paid for ‘service with a scowl’?”
Lyle briefly thought to chide the Sneasel for complaining about them just being rid of a ‘mon who’d have been a tough if not impossible fight, when a pained whine made him think better of it. Dalton was cradling his wounded arm again, the fact that he’d fallen on it more than once since they left Primordial Woods probably didn’t help the pain he was feeling right now. To his left, he discovered he wasn’t alone as Irune was looking up at the Heliolisk with a worried expression. One that seemed almost guilty.
So everyone felt like crap for at least one reason right now. Lyle wasn’t sure that he needed to be reminded of that. The Quilava trudged ahead after his Ice-type counterpart, shaking his head with a low murmur.
“Just… try and keep things in perspective, Kate,” he insisted. “Things really could’ve ended a lot worse for us back there.”
Kate didn’t say anything in reply. Without further word, she slunk off for the path, as Lyle and Irune helped Dalton hobble along after her. The four hurried off as fast as their bodies’ conditions would let them away from the passage into Raptor Rock. Just in case the Golisopod got second thoughts of his gesture of relative generosity.
After a little bit, when Lyle was satisfied that they’d gotten out of the Golisopod’s line of sight and beyond his range of hearing even if the merchant had come back out, he slowed his pace along with his teammates. Every bone in his body seemed to ache and his stomach protested as if it hadn’t been fed for days. Gods, those Mystery Dungeons had done a number on them.
Even with the slowed pace, Lyle found himself stopping every now and then with his teammates under the glow of the night sky overhead. The process was slow and exhausting, not that trudging along after being chewed up by a Tyrantrum and running through Mystery Dungeons all day was bound to be comfortable.
He was just thankful that he didn’t feel the autumn chill as much, since every little gust would make Dalton and Irune flinch briefly from their effects. This sort of weather wasn’t supposed to be kind on Pokémon of their sort, and it kept him looking over worriedly at their Heliolisk companion.
Maybe he’d have done it even without the chilly weather. Since even with his and Irune’s help, the Heliolisk struggled to keep up. To the point that the lot occasionally had to stop for brief rests whenever Dalton’s pain grew too much for the lizard to bear.
… Could they really make it to the Divine Roost with Dalton in this state? Or even to Errberk Village? Lyle tried to reassure himself that once they Dalton’s wounds were treated, things would surely be more manageable. Whatever Rankar had done to his arm could surely be dealt with by some berries and a day or two of rest…
Right?
Lyle tried to dispel those worrisome doubts and let his eyes drift towards patches of tall grass on the untamed plains surrounding the path. He didn’t know how interesting it’d be to travel through these grasses by day, but only with the lights in the night sky and his body’s fire to illuminate things, it was hard to make things out much in the way of defining features. A lone tree here, some rubbish discarded along the path there, normal things one would expect on a backcountry path. Then there were the weirder things that stood out: shallow craters and lines of eroded ditches, a few broken and rusted links of metal mail at the edge of the brush, a stele of weathered rocks that had been stacked up on each other…
And a burnt-out cart that showed signs of being recently abandoned after a struggle. Probably because of Pokémon like them.
Before long, Team Forager came to the edge of a bluff and a series of switchbacks overlooking an extension of the plains at a lower elevation that the four made their way down in fits and starts. As Lyle crept along the craggy passage, he noticed faint, fuzzy straight lines lit up by the moon and auroras. Fields for crops, it looked like. Irune seemed to have noticed them as well from the worried look she gave him and his other teammates.
“What do we do now?” she murmured.
“Keep going forward, what else?” Lyle answered. “Those lands we just passed through wouldn’t have gone unclaimed for farming without a reason, and it’s not exactly a smart idea to just camp in the wilderness with Dalton like this. We’ve been on the wrong side of territorial Wilders enough times for one day.”
Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, Lyle flinched from Dalton's voice loudly yelping and wincing. Lyle looked back up the switchback they were on alongside Kate as they watched Dalton stumble away from a rock face to their left and try to steady himself. Kate stiffened up and quietly grimaced at the sight of the shambling Electric-type, and shook her head to herself with a sharp frown.
“In case you haven’t noticed, it isn’t a smart idea to keep going with Scales like this either,” she piped. “Considering how for all we know, that Golisopod pointed us off towards an army base or a Hunters’ Guild, you might not wanna dismiss that ‘camping out here’ idea so quickly.”
Lyle felt fire spring to life from his vents and shot an irritated scowl back at the Sneasel. He didn’t need to be reminded that they were in a bad spot, but surely Kate knew better than to try and expect Dalton to just sleep off that arm of his. They’d already been flatly warned that the ones they had were serious enough that someone ought to look at them. Why, gods forbid, if Lacan and his Fähnlein caught up to them in this state, they’d be able to do little more than to just roll over in surrender!
The Quilava opened his mouth to protest, when he noticed Irune was staring off into the distance and plodding forward. Lyle craned his head after her and blinked, watching the Axew pace ahead a few steps before she hesitated and looked towards him and the others.
“Actually, did that Golisopod ever say what we were supposed to be looking for to find that ‘Errberk Village’ he was talking about?” she asked.
“No?” Lyle replied. “Why?”
“Because I’m wondering if that’s it up there.”
Irune pointed ahead to the side of the switchback as Lyle followed her claw and squinted off into the darkness. His vision made the sight muddy from how far it was, but sure enough, there did seem to be stray lights of some sort shining above the ground from atop a darkened mass—the dim blues of Luminous Moss and warm oranges of torchlight. Dalton must’ve been able to make out the lights better, since even in his weakened state, he visibly hesitated and shrank back from the sight.
“A-Agh… aren’t those lights a bit high up?”
“That’d be a good sign, right?” Kate asked. “Buildings with a second or third floor here or there aren’t that rare in villages. They’d have lights like those, wouldn’t they?”
Lyle looked off at the lights in the distance and saw that the bulk of them were clustered together in a low place. While he supposed that even with a habit of going dark at night, one would still see some lights here or there from a settlement. Except, there were a few he could just make out that gave him pause.
There, clustered away at an height further away from the others were a few bright lights that stood at an elevation. It could just be a few stray shacks or the like, or a beacon to warn nighttime Carriers of an obstruction…
Though then again...
“So would watchtowers from a fort,” the Quilava murmured, prompting Kate to shoot back a frown in annoyance.
“Oh come on, now you don’t want to go forward after getting on my case about camping out here?” Kate scoffed. “Make up your mind already, Lyle!”
Dalton stared off intently at the lights for a moment, nodding his head and counting along under his breath. Did Dalton recognize this place? The Electric-type trailed off briefly and blinked, before glancing back at his companions.
“Those are an awful lot of lights for a fort. They’re usually more aggressive about staying darkened to be harder to spot at night than most villages, not less,” the Heliolisk murmured.
… Lyle wasn’t sure if he wanted to know how on earth Dalton knew that, though he supposed it checked out with the way the garrison in Moonturn Square was structured. The Quilava sucked in a sharp breath as new doubts suddenly came to his mind. If ‘Errberk Village’ really was a fort, it was about the last place they needed to be traveling toward even if they weren’t roughed up from a grueling journey.
Lyle hesitated and hung his head at a loss. He felt someone nudge at his shoulder and looked over to see Irune pawing at the back of her head.
“Wouldn’t we be able to figure out what it really is as we approach it?” the Axew asked. “The way Pokémon go to and from a fort is very different from how they do the same with a village. Wouldn’t we be able to tell what this place is early enough to turn back if we had to?”
Lyle looked off at the lights, and then over at Dalton and his and his other teammates’ own battered bodies. Gods, what a choice they had right now. He didn’t like the idea of heading towards those lights blindly like this, but they really weren’t in any shape to try and rough it for the night.
The Quilava studied the lands below and saw the fields again. Surely they’d be able to pick up hints as if they were approaching something better-defended than a simple garrison. Major forts near fields were supposed to mostly be planted with crops that could be used on the battlefield, with larger ones in such areas having barracks to house the likes of captured Outlaws and Rothäuter for penal labor.
… He didn’t fully know where they’d go if they saw such things along the way, but at least they’d know if they were walking into danger before they stumbled into the village proper.
“... Alright, we’re going,” Lyle said, shaking his head. “But if we see any signs of trouble, we’re out of here, got it?”
The Fire-type was answered with a chorus of nods as the Outlaws made their way forward and slunk along towards the lights. The plains began to be enclosed by planted windbreaks and ditches, with a few clusters of woods popping up here and there. Much to Lyle’s relief, the fields seemed to be smaller. Some had been planted with crops for battlefield usage, like one with a large thicket of Apricorn bushes that made Kate bristle uncomfortably as they passed, but nothing that seemed dramatically beyond what Lyle remembered encountering in his life in the hinterlands outside of Moonturn Square…
Or the sorts of fields that he remembered running into around his hometown.
The stoat dismissed the matter with a shake of his head, only to look up as the lights neared and he began to make out buildings clustered against a river—one with waters clear enough to reflect slivers of the moon and the bands of blue and green in the sky. The mass was occasionally punctured by a tall tree here or there and had buildings with a bigger range of shapes than Lyle would’ve expected from a small-looking town. Simple huts with gable and shed roofs, to a couple that had been styled after Pokémon heads, and a couple taller structures that were almost cylinder-like with some sort of machinery attached to them that whirled in the moonlight.
Lyle looked off in the opposite direction of the river, where some of the tall lights in the distance came into view. His heart skipped a beat as on closer inspection, he discovered they were attached to the ramparts of stone walls built around a fort of low-slung buildings centered around a rounded tower with a conical roof perched on an overlooking hill. A Bergfried₂, it looked like, and he’d bet his hide that was where the local garrison of Grünhäuter was.
Lyle sucked in a sharp breath. The fort was too small to be a proper army base, but he could’ve done without coming across a town with such a well-built garrison. One that was strangely large relative to its size. Though he supposed the villagers must’ve found it comforting over the prospect of having to wait hours or days for help to come to their aid if the war ever came back to their village. Maybe. Grünhäuter could be some really obnoxious pests even to the Pokémon they were supposedly protecting, something he knew all too well from Nils.
As Team Forager continued on, Lyle started to spot simpler shelters along the paths: nests and burrows like the one he lived in before getting sucked up into this mess. There was little to differentiate them from the ones Wilders lived in aside from simple postboxes and mats set up in front of or under them or glimpses of dozing occupants still wearing their normal garb that prompted him and his fellows to creep forward quietly. In a quieter stretch, Kate gave Dalton a Plain Seed to bite down on to suppress his groans. Lyle wasn’t sure how much it would really help, but now was about the worst time to be overheard and spotted. As they approached, Lyle realized the cylinder-shaped buildings with the shapes were windmills. Not wholly unlike ones he’d seen when he was younger…
“... This place really is like home.”
They passed a simple wooden sign that had been painted in sloppy runes reading “Errberk Village” and ducked down a quieter lane, following the path much as the Golisopod had instructed. The nearby buildings were of simple construction with shingled and thatched roofs, with some of the larger ones built in a similar timbered style like buildings in Moonturn Square’s central marketplace. As they neared, Lyle noted that the village they were entering didn’t have a wall beyond a rise of earth and brickwork with a worn trench in front of it. A bit surprising given how well-built its Bergfried looked. Lyle couldn’t tell whether it was a sign the Provinz they were in hadn’t been as affected by one of Edialeigh’s past invasions, or if the locals just didn’t have the resources to rebuild better walls that used to be there.
“Oi! Who goes there?”
Lyle froze along with his teammates and looked up towards an arch over a path leading up the embankment, where a Nidoqueen in armor plates was tugging a dozing Blaziken awake. Gottverdammt, if these were the sorts of Pokémon keeping watch over this town, he was beginning to see how the locals felt secure skimping out on their fortifications. The Quilava pinned his ears back and smothered his flames, his breaths coming tense and shallow as he expected the two to pounce on them at any moment.
“Are you four going to keep us waiting, or are you going to come over?”
Lyle froze and felt his stomach knot up, when Kate pawed at him and whispered into his ear.
“Lyle, we really do need to get Scales’ arm treated. If those guards recognized us, they’d be all over our asses right now,” she said. “Just play it cool and let’s talk our way past them.”
Lyle hesitated a moment, before reminding himself that the Nidoqueen had already spotted him. It’d be more suspicious to try to turn and leave at this point. The Quilava breathed in sharply, before looking back up as the Blaziken glanced him over.
“Gods, you four are a mess,” the Fire-type muttered. “What the hell happened to you?”
Team Forager hesitated for a moment, before Kate shook her head and spoke up.
“Had a mission go bad in the Mystery Dungeon outside town,” Kate explained. “We’d love to stop and chat, but we really need to get patched up right about now. Where’s the nearest clinic around here?”
Lyle tensed up as the Nidoqueen’s muzzle curled into a sharp frown. The Grünhäuter let her eyes linger over them and studied keenly before she gave a small quirk of her brow.
“... Who are you exactly?” the Nidoqueen asked. “Since something about your patterns seems familiar.”
They… did? Lacan couldn’t possibly have gotten out bounties for them in less than a day with the scarves they’d nicked off Team Pathfinder… could he?
It was probably just a coincidence. Though just in case, Lyle opted to try and keep things brief and try to move along.
“Team Forager,” the Quilava answered. “We’re an Exploration Team that started up not too long ago.”
“I see… interesting choice of a team name there,” the Nidoqueen said. “And where’s your badges?”
Lyle bit his tongue and felt his heart flutter in his chest. Right. They hadn’t found any of those lying around in Team Pathfinder’s bag after Kate stole it. And every team of Hunters of repute made a point of keeping badges issued by whatever guild they belonged to.
He didn’t know how Dalton and Irune were reacting, but Kate’s fur was visibly standing on end right now. The Fire-type fumbled with his words, as he hurriedly tried to think through excuses based off their prior encounters, before settling on the only one that made any sense to him.
“... We… lost them on our way out,” Lyle replied. “We had to use an Escape Orb to duck some Wilders and we’re frankly lucky to have made it back to town at all right now.”
The Nidoqueen flicked her ears briefly, before leaning in with a dubious scowl.
“I’m sorry,” the Nidoqueen guard said. “What guild are you four registered with?”
Lyle felt his heart pound in his chest and froze. The only Exploration Guild he reflexively knew of was the one in Moonturn Square. If these insisted on doing a check, it was just a matter of time before they found out they were lying.
“L-Look, please, our friend’s hurt right now! For gods’ sake, just tell us where the local clinic is!”
Everyone’s attention turned over to Irune as she made her way to the front of the group and looked up. Lyle caught a glint in her eyes as it looked like the Axew was… teary? The two guards seemed to visibly waver for a moment, before the Blaziken of the pair turned to the Nidoqueen with a shake of his head.
“Zieste, we’ve got an early shift tomorrow. Just wave ‘em through so that way I can get some shuteye,” the Blaziken grumbled. “How much trouble do you expect those four to cause like this? Why, their leader’s some scrawny runt that looks like he just stumbled out from a refugee camp!”
… ‘Scrawny runt’? Lyle subconsciously looked down at his pelt. The Quilava knew he hadn’t been eating well for some time, but he wasn’t that thin, was he? He noted his pelt had become mussed with dirt—probably from the day’s ordeals, when a sharp huff from the Nidoqueen turned his attention to her.
The Poison-type’s eyes lingered over him for a little longer, before she closed them and gave a growling ‘You’d better not make me regret this, Tephros’. Lyle held his breath as the Nidoqueen shuffled along and looked back over Team Forager’s members.
“Third street down, and then keep going left until the ground starts sloping for the river. Red sign with a white circle split in two. With a smaller one in the center. You can’t miss it,” the Nidoqueen instructed. “I was going to ask you if you could part with a donation to keep us going, but… yeah, I’ll cut you some slack. Tonight, anyways.”
Lyle blinked in disbelief for a moment, before hurriedly giving a thanks and passing through the gate as Kate helped Dalton along and Irune trudged after them from behind. After they’d made it a couple streets down, Lyle took a moment to catch his breath and wait on his teammates to catch up. Kate was the first to arrive along with Dalton, the Sneasel taking a moment to let out a sigh of relief and glance over at Irune.
“Hey, good job turning on the waterworks back there,” Kate said. “For a second I thought that you were really-”
Kate abruptly trailed off and her expression faltered. Lyle followed her gaze over at their Axew teammate, and saw her rubbing at her eyes, trying to fight back sniffles.
So those tears earlier weren’t just for show. Even if he didn’t think much of her outburst back in Primordial Woods, something about seeing her like this made him uncomfortable. They all knew that she had a history with the army, did their encounter with those guards stir up bad memories?
A low groan turned Lyle’s attention over towards Dalton, the Electric-type faltering and grimacing with a low whine. A flash of pain after pacing forward reminded Lyle that none of them were doing well at the moment. He paused a moment, before shaking his head back to his teammates.
“Just hang in a little longer, everyone,” Lyle sighed. “We’re almost there.” Author’s Notes:
Dialogue:
1. Geheimbasar - German localization term for "Secret Bazaar"
2. Bergfried - A tall defensive tower characteristic of castles in the Germanosphere from the Middle Ages. Similar in function to a keep.
Teaser Text:
It is not known what first brought Wander’s first explorers into Mystery Dungeons, whether it was to rescue a companion in need, curiosity sparking the urge to step out bravely to chart the unknown, or even just an accident of fate. Whatever the cause, the explorers of those early ages quickly discovered Mystery Dungeons to be a source of treasures and wonders hidden from the world outside.
Strange Seeds that imbue unnatural strengths and maladies in their consumers. Wonder Orbsᵃ created by the Distortion of these places that are said to be imbued with the same Ether as the attacks we wield in battle. Transformational powers that allow us to fashion garb with protective properties, give common Gummis the ability to empower their consumers, and fashion Loopletsᵇ to aid those traversing such places. Uneven flows of time and space that continue to deposit human relics even as they become ever rarer in our world.
It is perhaps fitting that from even those early ages, Mystery Dungeons and their treasures would attract the eye of merchants. All through the lands of Wander, many Pokémon make their living plying the treasures gathered up from Mystery Dungeons and aid those who would explore them.
And then there are the merchants that count themselves as fellow explorers. Bold and intrepid souls who brave the Distortion itself to ply their wares and aid to those who wander these places. Their trade is as old as our written history, with some like the legendary Torneko the Adventurer being counted among the ranks of Wander’s first explorers in those ages where history and folklore become difficult to distinguish.
Should you come across such a merchant, their goods and services can provide a second wind. If for a price. Should it be beyond your means or will to stomach, politely decline and move along. Such traders have invariably grown strong and experienced from defending themselves from would-be thieves, both Wilder and Civil alike.
No matter how desperate your straits may be, you would be well-advised not to make an enemy of them.
- Excerpt from ‘The Explorer’s Handbook to Mystery Dungeons’
a. Name for “Wonder Orbs” from German localizations of PMD games. A more semantically direct translation would be something along the lines of “Wunderkugel(n)”
b. Name for “Looplet(s)” from German localization of PMD games. lit. “Ringlet(s)”
Man sagt, dass es der Menschheit in den Zeiten vor dem glühenden Blitz gelang, durch ihre Weisheit auch ohne eigene Kraft zu gedeihen. Während ihre Relikte und Ruinen von ihrer Fähigkeit zeugen, großartige Strukturen zu konstruieren und Wunder aus den Materialien unserer Welt zu erschaffen, wären solche Leistungen nicht möglich gewesen, wenn sie sich nicht auch in der Medizin hervorgetan hätten.
Diese Fragmente der Geschichte sprechen von Apparaten, deren Beschreibungen wirklich wundersam erscheinen. Maschinen, die kleinere Wunden im Handumdrehen heilen könnten. Aus Flaschen versprühte Medikamente, die alle Arten von Krankheiten abwehren konnten, waren so verbreitet, dass bescheidene Kaufleute Waren verkauften, um die sie unsere Apotheker beneiden würden. Häuser der Heilung, die ihre Dienste allen, die sie brauchten, kostenlos anboten.
Während ein Großteil dieses Wissens im Laufe der Jahrhunderte verloren gegangen ist, haben wir Zivilen es geschafft, Fragmente davon zu bewahren, die es uns ermöglichen, unsere eigene Medizin herzustellen. Gebrochene Gliedmaßen zu richten und Wunden zu behandeln, die das Ende eines Pokémon, das als Wilde lebt, bedeuten würden. Ähnlich wie unsere Vorfahren wird gesagt, dass diejenigen, die die Königreiche unserer Welt gründeten, einschließlich Klaus der Erbauer selbst, es für angemessen hielten, dass die Heilhäuser ihrer Länder ihre Dienste in ähnlicher Weise leisten sollten, ohne von ihren Patienten Bezahlung zu verlangen.
Das soll nicht heißen, dass eine solche Pflege kostenlos ist. In unserem Land obliegt es der Krone und ihren Dienern, unsere Heiler zu bezahlen. Und für die Pokémon, die sich unter ihrem Schild verbergen, sollen der Erbauer und sein Gegenstück im Königreich der Ideale es passend gefunden haben, im Gegenzug ihre Stärken im Dienst zu verlangen.
Um ihre Reiche aufzubauen und zu verteidigen. Auch wenn es bedeutete, weit weg von zu Hause zu reisen. Auch wenn es bedeutete, sein Leben aufs Spiel zu setzen, damit andere ihren Schutz genießen konnten.
- Auszug aus »Die Wahrheiter Chroniken – Eine kurze Geschichte der frühen Jahre unseres Königreichs«
Dalton had been used to chilly nights since childhood; it came with the territory of being born and raised in the deserts along Varhyde's southern range. Barring occasions like the Autumn Festival where some combination of crowds and whatever festive mood could be summoned after yet another year's troubles as a distraction, they were times best spent retreating indoors for warmth. Occasions best spent pass the time with food and drink with his family or with his snout buried in a book by the hearth.
It'd been some time since he'd been able to do that. Back in the Riparian Raiders, there would at least be a campfire to share with Artem and their more terrestrial peers over tales of their exploits, drinks, and the occasional joke about the Heliolisk being everyone's ticket to high society with "how much of a priss" he was.
Perhaps he ought to be more downcast about how those times weren't coming back anytime soon. But no matter how much he tried to distract himself with his surroundings or his thoughts, it was hard to keep his mind from turning back to the throbbing pain in his right arm. Especially when it'd flare up every time he shifted it by so much as a scale.
Dalton sucked in a wincing breath, glancing over to see his new companions waiting on him before he lowered his head and trudged along resting against Kate's shoulder. He watched the surrounding street drift by and noticed that half the shops were darkened, while the others seemed to try their hardest to hide their light much as they did at home or in just about any town he'd passed through in the past. On the way, they passed by one of the windmills they'd spotted earlier, then a Consortium shop complete with a Kecleon-headed appearance, and as the slope of the hill approached, they noted a few simple docks along the river at its base.
And yet, the Heliolisk just couldn't place where this "Errberk Village" they were in right now was. They'd exited out of Raptor Rock, so it meant they were in a Provinz that had to be relatively close to the capital, even if they were in one whose surroundings he didn't immediately recognize.
"… What is that thing blinking off in the distance, Dalton?"
Dalton blinked after hearing Lyle's voice when he noticed the Quilava had stopped and stared off into the distance. The Heliolisk followed after his gaze where he spotted a light twinkling in the horizon amidst the auroras in the sky. It was like the lights that had been hung up along the tips of that 'Great Spire' in Moonturn Square, perhaps from another Bergfried in another town…
Except warding lights wouldn't normally be bright enough to see from that distance.
The Electric-type studied the lights when he noticed they carried a color almost like a distant campfire, one that blinked a repeated pattern: one long and one short flash. A pause before a short, a long, and two short flashes. Then finally a short followed by a long flash before things repeated.
Dalton hesitated a moment as something about the light looked familiar to him, only for his eyes to abruptly widen. He wasn't sure how far out they were from it, but from lived experience, there was only one place in all of Varhyde with warding lights that could be seen from so far away, and only one with that pattern…
"It's a warding beacon from Newangle City," the Heliolisk exclaimed. "That particular signal is the one that they flash from the top of the tower where the king's palace is."
The others blinked and peered off at the winking light in the distance with expressions of disbelief. Not that Dalton expected them to be comforted by the idea that they were probably a day's journey at most from the royal capital, but from the skeptical expression on their faces, it looked like none of them had ever seen it before.
"… Scales, how do you know that just from a blinking light?" Kate asked. "Why, for all we know, that's just a light from a Wilder Volbeat flying around!"
"Because I spent a couple years of my life living there," the Electric-type said. "It's not exactly a detail you forget easily."
A flash of surprise went over the other Outlaws' faces, with Lyle and Kate trading befuddled looks with each other. He supposed he should've anticipated that. After all, when circumstances forced him to decamp from Newangle City the first time in his life, he never imagined he'd find himself back on its doorstep again, much less as a wanted Pokémon.
But he didn't want to get into that topic right now. Every time he thought back for too long about those happier times in the past when his family was whole just left a bitter taste in his mouth. They'd inevitably remind him of things from that time that could never be brought back.
Not for all the treasure in the world.
"Wait, then do you know where we are right now, Dalton?"
Dalton snapped to attention and winced after shifting his arm. He bit back a flash of pain and looked over at Irune. The Axew briefly cast a glimpse at his arm, before turning back to him with a worried paw at her tusks. Perhaps she was still shaken from the encounter with the guards earlier, not that he expected a frank answer to help her mood any.
"Given that I can see that beacon at all right now, We're somewhere around a day's journey by land south of Newangle City. Most likely on the very same river that runs through it," the Electric-type said, before trailing off.
He looked back down at the Axew as she turned her gaze away, visibly conflicted. It was the strangest feeling in the world, but he swore that he could see bits of himself in her. He doubted she was also the child of Edlen₁ before becoming an Outlaw, but that stubbornness and outspokenness of hers…
"Anyhow, as I mentioned, I have a rough idea of where we are," Dalton sighed. "Even if I'm wondering a bit now about how I've never heard of this village before?"
"Well let's see here," Kate scoffed. "There's the fact that it's small and forgettable. There's the fact that there's the biggest city in the kingdom just a day's journey away from it…"
"And there's the fact that Outlaws tend not to last very long trying to do business around the capital," Lyle added. "Though worry about that later, I think we've found the clinic that Golisopod told us about."
Dalton turned his eyes up as the four of them continued down the lane. Further ahead, there was a half-timbered building on the left built along the slope leading down to the river and its docks. Over its entrance, there was a red sign bearing the white twin half circles which marked it was staffed by medics—just like the Nidoqueen guard at the entrance arch had told them. The four hesitated for a moment, before they spotted a Braixen walking in carrying a small bundle of healing berries.
Dalton froze at the sight of the building, trading glances with his teammates, who seemed visibly hesitant themselves.
Was it even safe to visit these medics? The Golisopod had said nothing about the guards watching the entrance into the village. But at the same time, in his own way, the merchant had seemed genuinely worried about them on the way out of Raptor Rock.
"Everyone? A-Are we sure about this?"
Dalton saw Irune's eyes meet his as she shot wary glances between him and his teammates. He tried to stand free of Kate's support to step forward when he felt a flash of pain run through his arm and instinctively pawed at it. A mistake he was too slow to stop as just brushing it made it hurt worse and him reflexively bat out his frill. The Heliolisk stopped mid-raise and clamped his frill back shut with a low whine, as Kate threw out a claw to try and help him keep his balance.
When he regained his bearings, he saw Lyle looking at him, with the rest of his body facing the clinic's doorway. The Quilava bit his lip as he must've realized the bind that they were in. There were so many things that could go wrong by going in there. The medics could turn them into the Gendarmen. A team of Hunters getting patched up could recognize one of them from a past bounty and do much the same…
And yet, in spite of it, from the way Lyle sucked in a sharp breath and shook his head, Dalton figured the Quilava must've come to the same conclusion as he did about their present circumstances.
"… No, but we don't have many other options," Lyle insisted.
It was only one that made sense at the moment. Dalton looked up at the doorway and breathed in sharply to steel himself.
"… I don't suppose I can argue the point," he murmured. "Just be ready to run if we have to, I've got a bad feeling about this."
Everything after walking up to the clinic went by in a blur. After staggering through the entrance, Irune and the rest of Team Forager's members were hurried by the medics on-staff into the back of the clinic to a room with straw bedding set out. Without other roommates to share it with, thank gods.
Pokémon filtered in and out of the room afterwards to tend to their different wounds, with the pained whines Dalton made as his arm was examined leaving a sick, lingering feeling in her stomach.
At least it didn't last long. He was sedated with a Sleep Seed given by a Luxray shortly after that, who then examined his arm more closely. From there, a Delphox tugged at his stricken arm with telekinetic motions and held it out firmly before the pair applied a cast and splint to hold it in place below his shoulder. In the interim, an Audino and a Braixen made their way around the lot, dressing their wounds and applying berry poultices to them.
The only consolation was that from the lack of sounds from the neighboring rooms, any patients inside them must've been dozing off. The whole time, Irune let her eyes drift towards the floor as a gnawing sense of dread came over her. Various emotions swirled about in her head. Worry that at any moment, snarling guards would come barging through the door. Worry about whether or not they could make it to the Divine Roost and get that treasure that she needed from it. Worries about whether she would be able to thwart the army's plans for her when she still didn't fully understand what they were about.
"So how did you and your friends get into this situation anyways, Herr Igelavar₂?"
Irune looked over at Lyle as he flicked his ears and pawed at a chunk of damaged hide damp with Oran juice, much like similar wounds now flecking her own body. He murmured a few words that she couldn't fully make out, as Kate keenly watched the medics, occasionally stealing glances for the door.
… Even if she didn't really want to admit it, Irune supposed that was a sign she was worried about her latest teammates, too.
She had told herself that she knew what they were getting into, that she'd given them fair warning about what to expect when she herself knew what the most likely outcome of it would be even if things went to plan. But why did it feel as if she was at war with herself over it? Was it because she'd struck her bargain without them knowing the full truth? Was it because she was cynically stringing them along in the dark?
"Fräulein Milza?"
Irune turned her head up with a blink and saw the Braixen approaching her with a warm smile.
"It's your turn for treatment," the fox insisted. "This might sting a little, so I'm going to need you to steady yourself, okay?"
Irune nodded back as the Braixen set to work dressing her wounds. The Axew winced as she felt the sting of berry juice against damaged scales, sucking in breaths in and out as she stole glances at her stained hide between treatments and watched as her older wounds slowly began to seal more thoroughly. After a pause, she stared down at the straw bedding under her body, when she felt a prod at her shoulder. She looked up, where there was the Braixen poking at her with her stick, before stuffing it back in her tail fur with a reassuring smile.
"You're awfully brave for such a young Pokémon to go through harsh Mystery Dungeons like that," the Braixen said. "I'm sure that if you prepare a bit more carefully next time, your teammates will handle it great!"
The Axew stared back wordlessly for a moment, before letting her gaze drift away with a low murmur.
"I… wish that all of that were as true as you say."
The Braixen tilted her head, when shuffling footsteps rang out. Irune looked off towards Dalton's end of the room, where the Luxray was departing after the Audino who was already slipping out the door. The Electric-type gave a parting "don't keep them too long, Fenne", leaving the Delphox behind to size up Dalton and the others. The elder fox shook her head briefly and motioned at the Braixen. The smaller fox left her place and made her way to her senior counterpart, where the two traded words briefly with harsh, throaty words. Hightongue, Irune guessed.
Irune had never learned much of it before Lacan and his Fähnlein forced her on the run, but something about the conversation between the two seemed off. She could've sworn she saw the older of the two foxes give a worried glance down at the younger one for a moment, much like a parent would do to a child. The Delphox gave a sharp thump with her staff, and then there was a brief, awkward silence between the two. Irune thought of asking what was going on, only for the Delphox to make things moot. She shook her head and stooped down beside Dalton on his bedding, motioning with her wooden staff at his arm in the sling.
"If it's any consolation, the break in your arm bone was less serious than we feared when we first saw you, Herr Elezard₃," the Delphox sighed. "It's a relatively small fracture, and with some supplemental berries to help your body heal, you should be back to normal within about a week's time."
"Though you might want to be careful with that frill of yours," the Braixen chimed in. "Even if it should heal before your arm, it's quite fragile at the moment."
Dalton blanched and looked up worriedly at the two medics. It didn't sound like he'd expected to hear that. The Heliolisk ran a hand over his frill and tried to gape down at it. He reflexively tried to open it to better inspect it, only to flinch and reflexively draw it shut with a sharp yelp.
Irune winced at the sight and saw Lyle and Kate doing much the same from their bedding. A flash of alarm shot over Dalton's face, as he whirled over to the Delphox and Braixen with an alarmed stammer.
"Wh-What's wrong with it?" he asked. "Why does it hurt to open it so much?"
"Well it's a sensitive body part that's now pockmarked with puncture wounds and tears. So that's certainly not helping things right now," the Braixen remarked.
The Delphox gave a stern frown over at her junior, prompting her to quiet down and clamp her mouth shut.
"It's nothing that you can't recover from, Herr Elezard, and it will probably heal enough to open and close relatively normally within a couple days with your treatment regimen," the Delphox insisted. "But it's important that you give it time for its injuries to heal and don't put yourself in situations where the wounds could worsen further. As such, I couldn't in good conscience recommend that you go off to take more missions until then."
Irune stiffened up at the Delphox's reply as Dalton visibly grimaced. He must have realized the same thing she did, that he needed rest at a time when they couldn't take it for granted that it was safe to shelter in one place. She brought her fingers to her temples with a fraught sigh, when a huff from Kate's bedding prompted her to see the Sneasel folding her arms and shaking her head.
"We'll do what we can," the Dark-type sighed. "Hopefully it's something that will still work if Scales rests while traveling, since we're not really in a position to stick around here for very long."
"Well, you could do worse for a place of rest than our village," the Braixen teased, turning towards Lyle with a smirk. "Now that you've got an opportunity to get more comfortable, maybe you'll finally get a bit more talkative, hm? Or am I gonna need to butter you up to get you to stop giving me the silent treatment?"
The Quilava briefly flared up with a start at the Braixen's comments, and for a second, Irune thought she saw him blushing and a little ways off, Kate was visibly narrowing her eyes over the remark. A sharp thump snapped the lot of them back to attention, as the Delphox gave a sharp nudge at the Braixen with the end of her staff along with a disapproving frown.
"Rutten, enough. These Pokémon need rest," the elder fox sighed. "Don't we have enough things to worry about on our own already?"
Irune blinked after hearing the name the Delphox brought up when it dawned on her. 'Rutten' and 'Fenne'? Boy were those names on the nose. Almost as much as that 'Igel' name Lyle gave to Hermes back in Moonturn Square. Rutten didn't seem to think much of the scolding from the way she pinned her ears back with a quiet pout. Irune assumed it was just a normal annoyance between the two, since the Delphox of the pair quickly brushed the matter off and turned her focus on her audience and continued on.
"If you need accommodations here, we can host you overnight," she offered. "We offer free lodging to the Pokémon we treat for as long as they need bedrest."
A tense jolt went down Irune's spine. She knew full well from the past year that it wasn't safe to stay overnight at a clinic like this while Lacan and his Fähnlein were chasing her. From the way that her teammates had stiffened up, that sort of experience must've been more common for Outlaws than she thought.
"Actually, as nice as the offer is, Delphox, we were thinking of just claiming one of those mats for travelers on the outskirts, assuming you have any," Kate insisted. "We're kinda running a bit behind on a journey and need to get moving as soon as we can after resting up."
Fenne and Rutten traded askew glances back at the group, the younger fox of the pair letting her gaze linger briefly on Lyle before she folded her arms with a small frown.
"You'd hardly be doing yourself or your companions any favors, Frau Sniebel₄," the Braixen scoffed. "Assuming there were still spaces left to claim at this hour, there you'd be resting in the autumn cold, and most likely without any bedding."
Kate flattened her ears in annoyance, but held her tongue, and for good reason. Short of blurting out that they were Outlaws, there really wasn't a good argument for them to make for not just staying here. Lyle bit his lip and seemed to falter, while Dalton was sitting up straight as a board. Irune pawed at the side of her head with a quiet grimace. Gah, there had to be more options than this to choose from!
Then it dawned on her. Maybe there was one. Even smaller settlements usually had some sort of inn, didn't they? Couldn't they just stay there instead? The local guards would be checking the clinic here before anywhere like that, and with them having just stumbled into Errberk Village, it'd surely be less suspicious than trying to find some abandoned building to squat in again… wouldn't it?
"… Frau Fennexis₅, I know that this is probably going to seem strange, but is there an inn of some sort around here that we could stay at?" Irune asked, tilting her head at the Delphox. "Those places cater to Pokémon who need to travel quickly, don't they?"
Fenne sized up the pair briefly and fidgeted with her staff for a moment, before thumping it against the ground and clearing her throat.
"I… suppose there are a few options in town that might strike your fancy if you are so set on resting elsewhere tonight," Fenne said. "Errberk Village has always been a small hamlet without much means beyond what it renders in service to the crown, and the hospitality it provides to those who pass through it."
Rutten looked up at the Delphox with a small frown before she sighed and grudgingly pawed at her shoulder.
"I suppose if you really do want to spend a bit of money, that giving the Pokémon that keep us afloat in this clinic would be in everyone's best interests…"
Team Forager's members blinked for a moment at the foxes' words, before Kate pinned her ears back and broke the silence with an unimpressed snort.
"Look, we've got some spare change, but we don't have that much spare change," the Sneasel scoffed. "And trying to guilt others into spending money isn't exactly a great advertising strategy!"
"Neither of us would dream of doing so," the Braixen remarked. "But you do want lodging outside of here, do you not? Just what are you looking for?"
Lyle flattened his ears and seemed to grow uneasy, stealing uneasy glances with Kate and Dalton who both seemed to have misgivings. Irune faltered for a moment at her other teammates' hesitance. Maybe it really was for the best to drop the topic and just go with Kate's idea…
The Axew was interrupted by a dull ache from her flank. She peered down towards the straw bedding she was sitting on and noticed a still-raw scrape along her scales.
No, after an awful day like today, they could afford to have someplace more comfortable to sleep in.
Irune didn't know if there was such anywhere in town that wouldn't suck up their ill-gotten gains with the way that prices always seemed to go up and up with each passing moon, but the least she could do was ask…
"Is there someplace close by that wouldn't cost too much?" Irune asked. "From how high the moon is, it must be past midnight right now. Are there even inns here that are open this late?"
"There is one, actually: Das Grüne Dragoran₆. It's a hostel at the end of the street that'd be a more comfortable place for you to rest your battered bodies than a mat under the stars, don't you think?" Fenne asked. "You might also find the tavern at its entrance to be worth your while, since you all have clearly been through a lot."
"Not that you'd really have many choices here in Errberk Village at this time of night, but it is a nice place," Rutten said. "If I had the means, I'd probably spend a night there myself. After all, I might not see it again anytime soon."
Irune blinked as an uncomfortable chill seemed to come over the Delphox's face following Rutten's reply. Her teammates on Team Forager similarly had their moods take a turn for the worse, especially Dalton, who was upright and at attention even in spite of his injuries.
… The Axew thought she had a few ideas as to what the Braixen could be getting at, but warily raised her voice to ask and find out for sure.
"Why's… that?"
"I was asked to report to the local garrison for service in His Majesty's army," the Braixen answered. "My assignment is set to be handed down at the end of this week."
Irune fell silent and grimaced. She supposed that it was to be expected that levies by the army for new soldiers would be going out throughout Varhyde at this time of year, but it was still startling to hear the Braixen medic say that. Why, from the way she and the Delphox had been interacting, she must've still been young enough to still be apprenticing!
A quick glance over at her teammates revealed the others on Team Forager had been similarly taken aback by the Braixen's revelation, with Kate in particular looking away uncomfortably with her ears pinned back.
"Oh. I'm… sorry to hear that," the Sneasel murmured.
"Don't be. This is my home, and I'd gladly give anything to help defend it," the Braixen replied, shaking her head back. "Better that I go off to fight in the stead of one of the more experienced healers who'd be able to help care for Pokémon like you back home."
Fenne grew visibly alarmed at Rutten's words, and gave a sharp, insistent tug at the younger medic's shoulder, turning her around with a pleading expression.
"Rutten, you mustn't jump into things like this. The garrison said that if you already had an assignment before reporting, that your levy would be waived!" the Delphox insisted. "There was that listing from that noble looking for a personal healer in the capital! He held rank within the army himself, so if you just accepted it, maybe it'd-"
"It'd be unbecoming for me not to go where I'm needed, since soldiers need healing too," the Braixen snapped back. "That's the role of a healer, and it's an honor for me to serve wherever the Kingdom needs me most."
Fenne and Rutten stared at each other for a moment, the Delphox's eyes visibly pleading with the Braixen's, which answered with a sharp, unyielding scowl. Neither of the two said anything, but those two must have been related from the way they were interacting with each other. For whatever reason, Lyle looked particularly uncomfortable at the sight. Had he gotten into arguments with older relatives like this before becoming an Outlaw?
"Honestly, if you really mean what you said, just take the assignment with the noble."
Irune turned her head at the sound of a sharp scoff coming at Dalton's end of the room, where he'd sat up and was in the middle of a piercing stare over at the Braixen. The younger fox was visibly taken aback by his demeanor, when the Electric-type narrowed his eyes and let out a sharp, emphatic huff.
"Look, I don't know what your story is, Rutena₇, but if you're serious about being willing to give anything to help defend your home here, then stay as close to it as you can," the Heliolisk insisted. "Be there for your village for if trouble comes here. Don't throw your life away going out to some gods-forsaken hole in Edialeigh!"
There was a long, awkward silence in the room afterwards. Irune sucked in a sharp breath and set her teeth on edge. Was… Dalton supposed to say that? She knew that Pokémon across Varhyde were getting ground down from the war, but few Pokémon in polite society had the boldness to air such… less-than-patriotic opinions of the ongoing war. She didn't understand the full story behind it when everyone seemed miserable about it, but it had something to do with a disastrous reversal in the war from before she was born.
Fenne didn't look mad about it, at least. Rutten was a bit harder to gauge since her expression remained guarded afterwards, like she wasn't sure of how to respond. After a brief moment that felt like an eternity, the Braixen she narrowed her eyes and shook her head back in reply.
"I appreciate your concern, Herr Elezard, but this is really a choice that I need to make on my own. Assuming that I have one to begin with," the Fire-type rebutted. "Though whether it's near or far… for a time, I will be away. If you're really that worried about how well this village will hold up without me, why not lend it some aid in my stead if you can?"
Team Forager's members fell silent and traded uneasy looks with one another. Irune spotted Lyle looking down at the bedding under his feet and the bandages on his body, before giving a poke at his bag laying beside it which prompted Irune to glance at her own and shift it with an audible rattle.
… Right, she supposed they still had money left over from paying off Hermes… and it was more than any of them would normally have. At the same time, it wasn't enough to buy everything they needed to make the rest of the journey to the Divine Roost without having to steal at some point. The Axew cast a glance back at the Braixen and hesitated a bit. Dalton had publicly said things that could've gotten him in trouble for sympathizing with the enemy, so it surely didn't make sense to leave on this Braixen's bad side.
But strangely, that wasn't the main worry that had come to her mind: over the past year, Irune had brought one misfortune after another onto untold Pokémon. So… if there was something she could do to help someone for a change… wouldn't it be worth doing it?
"Lyle? Kate? Dalton? What do you all think?" Irune asked. "It doesn't sound that far away, and it shouldn't cost that much of our money…"
The other Outlaws hesitated for a moment, before Lyle glanced out the window at the moon and auroras in night sky briefly and shook his head with a tired sigh.
"After all the headaches we went through to get it, I suppose we might as well enjoy it after a wreck of a day like this," he said. "Besides, having a real bed for once wouldn't be the end of the world…"
Lyle and his teammates left the clinic not long after medics' tipoff about the inn down the street, and per their instructions, followed it westward before making their way down a lane lined with simple structures. Half-timbered buildings on either side, with mostly-darkened shopfronts. A few remained stubbornly illuminated by dimmed lanterns fashioned from glass or occasionally ancient resin to ply their wares to nocturnal customers, not that there seemed to be many of them out right then.
The four passed a windmill, before reaching a square built around a fountain with a centerpiece anchored by metal latticing—shaped vaguely like a bell of some sort. Lyle couldn't tell if Errberk Village just didn't have much in the way of a nocturnal population, or if the village was just always this sleepy. He at first assumed it was the former, but with the way the town went without proper walls for its defenses outside the ones that ringed the keep overlooking the town, the Quilava suspected the place wouldn't feel that much more lively during the day.
When they got to the end of the square, sure enough, there was a two-story building with plastered walls and wooden timbers sporting a signboard over its entrance with a green Dragonite on it. The walls seemed to have metal girders that reminded Lyle of bars on a cage, some of them having sections of wall slotted between, while others had been filled in with windows with wooden shutters. There was a rounded awning over the entrance, along with a rooftop with wood shingles that curled in slightly. Right above them, another story of the building sprouted upwards, sporting the same likeness to a filled-in cage.
Lyle doubted the roofing was original. The way the walls were set up reminded him of a couple structures he'd seen in the past near Moonturn Square that were built around human ruins. The distinctive appearance with the girders supposedly was characteristic of ruins that originally were wrapped in glass windows prior to the Great Flash. Lyle wasn't sure if he could imagine such a structure, much less why anyone would want to build one. Such large windows must have been insanely expensive to replace every time one got broken by a fight or something like that.
Lyle looked up at the inn's signboard with its green Dragonite as they neared. Just below the painting of the Dragon-type, there were a set of faded runes that rendered the name just as the medics said, with 'Dragonite' written in a more archaic style with its last glyph being the same as the one used to write out 'riot' or 'rampage'. He supposed that was why they'd been so insistent on calling it 'Das Grüne Dragoran'.
The Quilava hesitated for a moment as his thoughts turned back to Hermes from Moonturn Square. Was the Carrier alright at the moment? They hadn't gotten a chance to check up on him after they crashed just outside Primordial Woods. Sure the Dragonite was a bit of an ass, but for all they knew, he was hurt right now, or worse.
… He tried not to think further about the matter. Leaving others behind to see another day was just reality for an Outlaw sometimes, and it wouldn't do any good worrying about things he was powerless to change. All he wanted right at that moment was something to eat, a nice, stiff drink, and to pass out sober enough to not wake up the next day with a hangover.
Lyle pushed the door open along with his teammates, walking through a bare wooden hall with a few damaged cushions set out towards a counter at the back of the room, they spotted a bored-looking Flapple resting on it by a tatty book lying open on its spine. Along the way over, Lyle felt a tug at his forearm, and glanced down to see Irune shooting uneasy glimpses at him and his teammates.
"… How are we going to do this anyways?" she whispered.
"Lyle will pay first and we'll pay him back our shares in the room?" Kate chimed in from the side. "I dunno, use your imagination a bit, Irune."
"No, I meant how do we introduce ourselves?" the Axew insisted. "Is it really safe to just give the innkeeper our real names?"
"Obviously not," Lyle said. "I'll just give him some aliased, and-"
"Good evening, Igelavar," a yipping voice growled. "Are you going to keep me waiting, or are you going to tell me what you're here for?"
Lyle abruptly flared up with a start and saw that the Flapple and the counter were now much closer than he remembered, with the Dragon-type sizing him up skeptically. The Quilava curled his face up into a flustered grimace, and hastily waved a forepaw in reply.
"T-Tut mir leid₈, Herr Drapfel₉!" he stammered. "Sorry about that, we'll be taking a room for four!"
The Flapple craned his neck and let his gaze linger over Team Forager for a moment. Lyle held his breath and bit the inside of his cheek, when the Dragon-type shook his head and narrowed his eyes with an unimpressed sigh.
"Do I want to know why the four of you look like you just stepped out from a minefield?" the innkeeper asked. "I could've sworn I saw fellows of yours passing through town earlier tonight, and they didn't look anywhere as shabby as you."
… Wait, he had? And even if they were visibly patched up a bit, the four of them didn't look that bad right now, did they? Lyle pawed at the back of his head and forced a sheepish smile over his face before speaking up with a nervous titter.
"Probably not, no," the stoat said. "But it's 'Igel', and these are my teammates on Team Forager. We just needed a room for four for the night."
"Uh huh," the Flapple said, lazily fetching a small flipnote and a stylus tipped with ink that he gripped between his diminutive paws. "And the others?"
Irune blinked at the receptionist's question and turned her head up with a wary frown.
"Wait, why do you need to know our names?" the Axew asked.
"Inn policy," the Flapple replied. "We've had enough guests split a room in the past that it's handy to know who exactly to bill if we find a hole left in the wall from a drunken fight overnight."
… Boy did this place sound like a dive, though Lyle supposed it was a sign that the proprietors wouldn't worry too much about their clients' backgrounds. But aliases for the entire rest of the team? Here on the spot?
"Well?"
Lyle jolted up to attention and saw the Flapple impatiently scowling at him. He blinked a moment, before hurriedly piping up and opting to just say the first things that came to mind.
"R-Right, their names!" the Fire-type stammered. "The Axew is 'Mills' and the Heliolisk is 'Elezar'."
The Flapple briefly quirked a brow as Irune blinked and Dalton stiffened up with a mortified grimace. From the side, Kate sputtered, trying and largely failing to fight back open laughter.
"Wait, 'Elezar'?" the Sneasel snickered. "Reshiram's Fur, that's-"
"And the Sneasel is 'Niebel'. Hard names to forget, right?"
Kate trailed off mid-laugh as her ears fell and her expression increasingly looked as if she'd just been soaked in the face with a Water Gun. Lyle supposed that he wasn't going to hear the end of that one, but right now, the most important audience they had to impress was the Flapple on the counter.
The Quilava held his breath as the Flapple looked them over again, before jotting some runes down in his flipbook and motioning at the counter.
"400 Carolins or the equivalent in Poké if you've got it," the Flapple said. "Our tavern's in the room off to the right. Eiche should still be serving drinks at this hour."
Thank gods, Lyle was starting to get worried there. He slid a pawful of Poké over the counter before tiredly shuffling off for the tavern, his teammates' footsteps creaking against the floorboards after him. Halfway to the open doorway, he felt a poke at his shoulder when Kate's voice piped up.
"Lyle?"
Lyle turned his head, where he saw all three of his teammates giving unamused stares at him, Kate standing at the fore with her arms folded and her muzzle curled down into a sour frown.
"Next time, I'm coming up with aliases for us "
… He hadn't done that bad of a job with their aliases, had he? Sure, the names were a bit simple and punny, but it wasn't that rare for Pokémon to have names that sounded a bit like the names of their kinds in either Commontongue or Hightongue, was it?
Lyle snapped back to attention after an ache shot through his body. Right, they had better things to worry about right now. Like getting in a few pints to help forget about their gods-awful day.
"… We'll figure it out then," he sighed. "For now, let's just get a damn drink."
The four passed the doorway and discovered that the inn's tavern had been built in a chamber with concrete walls and stones piled up to fill gaps that had formed in them. If the walls were a bit less straight, it'd have almost reminded Lyle of a dragon's den—maybe that had something to do with the name. Even with its sturdier appearance, it seemed about as meager as the tavern they met Hermes in back in Moonturn Square, complete with spartan wooden furniture and musky odor. Why, just past a table taken up by a Feraligatr guzzling from a pint, there was even a band with a Toxtricity singer just like the one that that dive in Moonturn Square had.
♫ I'm looking at my life I want to change
Myself to hear you more so I can stay
How to make our life better
Think~ Can you try? ♫
Wait a minute, that was the same Toxtricity and band from back in Moonturn Square! Lyle stared with his mouth hanging open for a moment, wondering what stroke of fate would've brought them back across each others' paths as the rest of the band played their instruments and Poison-type continued on singing a sappy ditty about encouraging a lover to go on a journey together… which he was pretty sure mixed up or missed a word or two from some of its lyrics.
The stoat sighed and shook his head before continuing forward with his teammates. Along the way, they noticed the tables by them were largely vacant, one of the few exceptions being one off to their left. Much to his surprise, there was a glassy-eyed Kecleon and Togedemaru seated at opposite ends of it, each grasping tight to wooden mugs and giving each other ornery looks as their words came out in slurring growls.
"It'll be a blizzard day in Heumond before I stand for this sort of insult!" the Kecleon fumed. "At least the Consortium keeps to itself and doesn't have to ply dodgy clubs in the capital with Lansat Syrup to make its coin!"
"Is that hint of jealousy? Tch, what wrong with Kecleon? Not enough injured 'mon to gouge in Mystery Dungeons?" the Togedemaru piped. "Regional division of Roly-Poly Caravan doing just fine moving cargo for army of furry dragon Kingdom!"
Team Forager continued on and dutifully avoided making eye contact as the two merchants continued on with their drunken bickering, just in case either of them had been tipped off about the things they'd had gotten up to around Moonturn Square and its surroundings. Even without that, Lyle couldn't say he really had any interest in hearing the pair air the sordid details of how their businesses worked. Especially not when half the conversation would come from a squeaker of a little rat with what had to be the most ridiculous speech pattern in all of Wander.
As the merchants' bickering faded into the background, the four made their way up to the bar counter where some stools had been set out. There seemed to be three styles of them present: two heights of wooden three-legged stools for shorter and taller patrons, and flat stumps tucked to the side for Pokémon who were bulky and heavy enough to damage the legged stools from their weight. Kate and Dalton took their places on a pair of taller stools set out at the counter, and Lyle was about to follow suit when a voice pricked his ears from the side.
"Uh… Lyle? I think I'm a bit short for these."
Lyle looked over to see Irune staring at the stools. The taller ones were high enough for it to be uncomfortable for the Axew to try and clamber up, while the shorter ones were small enough to not let her see over the counter. The Quilava cocked his head for a moment, before he noticed a few empty wooden boxes in the corner: old, cut-up exposure chests used in Mystery Dungeons from the looks of it. Lyle sighed, before taking one of the boxes and sliding it over in front of the counter and setting one of the shorter stools on top with a small frown.
"Just try to keep your eyes open, alright?" he grumbled. "You could've found a solution pretty easily if you'd looked around a little more."
Irune gave a sour grunt in reply, before clambering onto the box, and then the now-elevated stool. Across the counter, they could see a Decidueye wiping down some mugs, with a Bagon tending to the end of the counter using wooden boxes much like Irune to reach its surface. The Decidueye gave a wary gaze, before shaking his head with a low sigh.
"You four are up awfully late," he remarked. "Or I suppose awfully early if you're of a nocturnal persuasion like me. Not that I'd expect it from most of your kinds."
Lyle turned his head back towards the bickering Kecleon and Togedemaru in the background, where the pair seemed to be getting a bit heated. He flattened his ears, before shooting an askew glance back at the Decidueye barkeep.
"Not worried at all about things getting out of hand?" he asked.
"Tch, I have experience dealing with tough customers," the Grass-type scoffed. "You kinda have to be as a barkeep, especially in a village that prides itself on a history of raising and lodging strong warriors."
… That bit about the 'strong warriors' was probably just bluster. One of the things that Lyle learned quickly after seeing villages and towns outside of his own was that most Civils were the types to think that their village was number one. But with how tough those two guards at the gate seemed…
It probably wasn't worth worrying about. They'd surely come to this place ahead of any word from Lacan, and they weren't planning on hanging around for long. At the far end of the bar, Kate gave a playful scoff, and leaned her head against the back of her right paw.
"Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one before. Though there's never a wrong time for a good drink," Kate said. "We'll take a bowl of Gummis and four Doppelböcke₁₀."
The Decidueye's eyes darted over to Irune, who stiffened up with a flustered grimace. The Grass-type hesitated for a moment at the younger Outlaw of the party, before turning back to Kate with a low grunt
"Eh, suit yourself," he remarked. "Darts! Get these 'mons their drinks!"
The Bagon at the end of the counter put away his rag and hurried over, nudging one of the boxes along with his armored head to help him reach a set of bottles and tall wooden mugs. Lyle quirked a brow at the little Dragon-type as he poured out some water at the base of each mug—to water it down for safe consumption, and then shook its contents to mix them. For a little Bagon, the 'mon seemed to have some skill at mixing drinks. A lot more than Lyle would have expected a Pokémon still in his initial evolution to have.
"First refill's free," the Bagon explained. "Consider it a night owl special."
Lyle flicked his ears and looked up, seeing the Bagon pushing a mug in front of him. A glance off to the left revealed Kate and Dalton had already been served and were helping themselves to their drinks, both already most of the way through them. The Quilava grasped his mug and gulped down a mouthful of its contents, smacking his lips as the taste lingered in his mouth. It was a bit more bitter than he expected, but it was definitely a beer. He returned back to his drink as Darts served Irune, when he noticed his body felt strangely warm and fuzzy. It was to be expected from liquor and Doppelbock was a particularly strong brew, but even so, he didn't remember beer giving him this much of a buzz in the past.
… Maybe that was a sign he was getting through his drink too quickly. The stoat set his cup back on the counter, when he suddenly heard Irune cough and gag to his right. Lyle looked over at the Axew and saw she'd choked and spilled a good quantity of her beer, and spat up still more onto the counter. The Decidueye and Bagon stared at her, as Kate and Dalton gave repulsed grimaces at the Axew's mess before returning to their drinks. Lyle flattened his ears, and shot an unimpressed frown Dragon-type.
"What, you can't hold your liquor now of all times?" he asked. "Just how young are you anyways?"
Irune flushed a deep, flustered red for a moment, setting her mug back onto the counter as Darts rolled his eyes and cleaned it up. The Axew fumbled with her words in embarrassment before she met Lyle's gaze and pawed at the counter sheepishly.
"It… tastes different from the drinks I'm used to, that's all," she insisted. "I don't think I'll be taking that refill."
Just what sort of drinks were those? Glasses of Moomoo Milk? Lyle rolled his eyes and had half a mind to chide the obvious rookie for still trying to hide her lack of experience, but thought the better of it. They'd all been through a really crap day, and getting on the nerves of the 'mon they were escorting across the region to guide them to a legendary treasure sounded like it was just begging for trouble.
"Suit yourself," Lyle muttered. "Just give it to Kate, I'm sure she'll make short work of it."
The Quilava motioned over to Kate at the end of the bar, who put her mug back against the counter with a sharp tak. The Sneasel opened her mouth and let out an audible burp, before giving a wave of her claw at the Decidueye.
"Hey, barkeep! Another one of those Doppelböcke, would ya?"
Lyle watched as the Decidueye reflexively stepped in, only to catch himself and back off and allow Darts to tend to the Sneasel's order. Lyle felt a bit stupid for the thought only just now occurring to him, but he supposed that that meant the Bagon was an apprentice of some sort to the Decidueye. The Quilava pushed Irune's drink over along with it, drawing a passing cheer from the Sneasel of having "thirds" that made the Axew frown, but otherwise raise no complaint. He got the feeling Irune didn't particularly approve of Kate being so quick to drink, but whatever, if she didn't care enough to complain about it, it was probably for the best.
The Quilava reached for his mug and gave a tired sigh as he looked down at his drink.
"… What do we do now?"
Time drifted by quicker than Lyle expected at the counter, and before he knew it, about half an hour had passed… with much of his share of the order of Gummis barely been touched and his beer just barely been finished since then. Lyle didn't know whether it was the strangely bitter taste or if it was the events from Primordial Woods getting to him, but he hadn't had much of an appetite that night.
Though he supposed that the way he kept getting lost in his thoughts at the counter didn't help it either. Looking over at Eiche and Darts stirred up memories of his and his own brother's experiences apprenticing as glassblowers under their father. Of moments where the Typhlosion held their paws, guiding them through tending and stoking the family shop's furnace that turned sand into glass. They'd spent untold evenings putting the heated glass from that furnace onto blow pipes and practicing breathing out air and fire in a sustained stream to turn the molten glob at the end into something that could fill a mold.
Most of their results came out as unsellable garbage, but even then, Lyle was proud of his handiwork, and his parents and brother were proud of his. His mother and father would go on about how they could rest easy knowing that their shop would be in good paws even when they were too old to work, and would give good-natured ribbings over how if the two ever renamed the shop, that "Igelavars and Tornuptos'" had a ring to it.
Even in the midst of the world spinning apart around them, it was a simpler, happier time.
Was, anyways.
Tak!
Lyle snapped back to attention after Darts set down a wooden mug in front of him that visibly frothed at the top. The Quilava tilted his head, as the Bagon pushed the mug forward in front of him.
"Don't doze off too much on the counter, Quilava," the Dragon-type insisted. "That's what your room upstairs is for."
Lyle hesitated for a moment and reached for the mug. Something in his head felt cloudy and faint. Were those his injuries acting up? He knew that a Pokémon's wounds didn't heal instantly, but the medics didn't make him think that he had ones that would linger like Dalton's broken arm or his wounded frill. The Quilava gave a swirl of his mug and raised it to drink when he felt an impatient tug at his flank. His vents flickered to life briefly, and heard a yelp. There, behind him, Irune recoiled briefly, before she shook her head and gave an impatient stare up.
"Lyle, shouldn't we be planning on what to do tomorrow?" she asked. "You've just been sitting and moping there."
"Give me a break, kid. We're in public right now," he grumbled back. "And in case you hadn't noticed, we spent most of the past few hours having to play things by ear since our plans went up in smoke. We're better off resting tonight and trying to plan things out after we're all feeling a bit less crap."
Kate and Dalton talked briefly in the background for a moment. Lyle wasn't sure whether it was the hour or the buzz from the drink getting to him, but he could've sworn something about their words just slurred together. Whatever, it probably wasn't all that important. The Quilava raised his mug in front of his face, giving a dubious frown down at his Axew counterpart.
"Look, we'll see what our options are for getting around first thing in the morning," the Fire-type insisted. "If you've got some sort of problem with waiting until then that I don't know about, don't get cute about keeping it to yourself. You saw how that turned out today."
Irune briefly flinched at Lyle's reply and looked away. It was probably a sign whatever she had to say wasn't important. The Quilava tilted his mug back and started to drink, when the Axew hesitated briefly, before she narrowed her eyes and piping up with an adamant voice.
"I… think we should stop by Newangle City on our way up to the shrine."
Lyle's paw jolted his mug back at Irune's statement. The Quilava felt a few drops of his drink go down his throat wrong and he coughed, gagging up the rest of the beer still in his mouth onto the counter and floor. Kate and Dalton shot annoyed frowns at him from their end of the bar, and Eiche and Darts didn't seem much more enthused either. The Quilava flattened his ears and sheepishly set aside his mug, muttering a "sorry, give me a moment" in reply as he tugged Irune along from the counter, and for a quieter corner off on the other end of the tavern, before whirling on her with a sharp scowl.
"Irune, what are you going on about? Why on earth would we go to the Capital?" he insisted. "Even without Lacan on our tails, it's not exactly friendly territory out there, and there's ways of getting to the Divine Roost without having to set foot in it. So why bother taking a risk like that?"
Irune faltered and visibly shivered after the question. Clearly she wasn't feeling good about the prospect of running into that Salamence and his accursed Fähnlein again. But even so, something about the Dragon-type just refused to yield, as she pawed at her shoulder and spoke up quietly.
"I… just think… it'd be a good idea to go there," the Axew said. "There'd be more marks to rob and you all have experience melting into crowds and- uh… it'd be safer for us. Yeah."
Lyle frowned and narrowed his eyes. Could this kid have been any more obviously lying right now? The stoat folded his forearms against each other and flared up briefly, before shooting a sharp glare back.
"Yeah, I'm not interested. And I doubt the others are, especially Dalton," the Quilava said. "So if you're going to try and convince me, why don't you spell out what it is you really want from going to the Capital?"
Irune visibly stiffened up after the demand and bit her lip. Lyle sighed and turned around to head back for the bar when he suddenly felt her tugging at his paw.
"Lyle, wait!"
The Quilava hesitated briefly and turned back, seeing Irune steel herself as she sucked in a breath and spoke up in careful, guarded words.
"Lacan… thinks that I've got some sort of power that could be useful to him. And enough moments have been happening to me over the past year that I don't know if I can say for sure if he's wrong about it."
"And why does that require us to go to Newangle City?"
"Because this entire time, I haven't been able to find anything out about what's going on with me from the books and the like that I came across in smaller towns," Irune explained.
The Axew averted her gaze and pawed at her shoulder with an uneasy glance towards the floor.
" I… just need to know for sure why Lacan thinks I'm so important. What exactly that power is if it's real and if it can be controlled at all," she said. "From the way things went in Primordial Woods today, I'm not sure if we'll make it to the Divine Roost if I don't understand what that power is and how much of our moves Lacan already expects from us."
Hrmph, even when they were little ankle-biters, dragons really were stubborn types. From the flash of guilt over the Axew's eyes, she at least didn't seem to be lying about anything she said this time. Even if Lyle got the feeling that she was still hiding something from him.
The Quilava opened his mouth to press Irune further when he suddenly felt a bout of lightheadedness come over him. Maybe his injuries hadn't been treated as thoroughly as the Delphox and Braixen from the clinic thought. If that was the case, it was for the best to wind down his conversation with Irune, finish his drink, and get some much-needed shuteye.
"You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?" he grumbled. "But that's not a decision for me alone to make in the first place. Going into Newangle City's already a risky proposition for Pokémon like us, and you're asking a lot from us to go there over what's basically a hunch from you."
Irune fell quiet and looked almost like he'd just punched her in the mouth. For a second, Lyle felt a bit uneasy over his words and wondered if he'd been too harsh with the kid, only to mentally correct himself.
No. Some truths just had to be dealt with plainly even if they were harsh. After everything that had happened today, asking Irune to make her peace with it was more than justified when misplaced idealism or a slip-up in judgment could easily be the end of them all.
"We'll probably need to get out of this town before the day's over tomorrow," the Fire-type said. "You've got until then to convince us all to take that sort of risk. Though I'll tell you up front that you're almost certainly going to need to do better than that to convince-"
"You take that back!"
Irune turned her head back towards the bar after a sharp hiss rang out and abruptly went wide-eyed. Lyle blinked and followed her gaze, when he saw Dalton and Kate had gotten up and were staring each other down—visibly tottering. Dalton shambled forward at the Sneasel, with his free arm held out accusingly and his face contorted into a hateful glare. The whole time, Kate gave a dismissive, almost smirking expression back through glassy eyes and slurring words.
"Relax. I'm not judging you for having a Grünhäuter for a brother," Kate insisted. "I think you turned out great compared to him!"
Lyle blinked at the sight. He hadn't thought that any of them had drunk that much beer, and he remembered Kate being able to hold her liquor better than this, but it was clear as day that the two were heavily drunk.
Irune turned her head up at Lyle, giving a worried paw at her tusks.
"Uh… are- are those two alright, Lyle?" she asked.
"No," he sighed back. "Come on, let's go and make sure they don't do something stupid."
Lyle dropped to all fours with a muttering grumble and began to make his way forward for his teammates with Irune. Kate and Dalton were plastered enough that they didn't notice Eiche and Darts warily eying them from behind the bar, or sense their approach as the Heliolisk snarled back at the still-unfazed Sneasel.
"He was never supposed to be one!" the Electric-type shot back. "And he's dead because of it!"
"Well, yeah. Staying alive's the definition of turning out better, isn't it?"
Lyle stiffened up briefly after the exchange. Dalton… had a brother in the army? He'd never said anything about that before. The Heliolisk began to visibly spark at Kate's reply, as Darts hastily ducked away behind the counter and Eiche hopped the counter to intervene.
This had gone on long enough, and Dalton and Kate needed to be pulled away before they got the guards called on them. Lyle lunged ahead with a dash that made the surrounding bar blur in his vision, when a sudden flash of yellow and a hot, searing sensation enveloped his body.
Lyle yelped and fell to the ground, hearing other cries ring out around him along with the sound of splintering wood. The stoat hastily righted himself as static danced on his fur and saw Kate rolling over from the broken remains of a mug. And then there was Dalton, stumbling up and awkwardly trying to steady himself with his good arm as he let out seething breaths.
"I'll fry you, you impudent-!"
Lyle jumped forward and tugged at Dalton's tail to restrain him and saw Irune heading towards Kate, when the Axew abruptly froze and dove out of the way. A series of sharp thwips rang out, Lyle reflexively diving for cover as Kate and Dalton yelped and crumpled to the floor.
Lyle got up and glanced at Kate as she pawed at her side in a daze. There, stuck in it about half her arm's length from her shoulder was a brown feather that visibly wasn't hers, with some sort of quill stuck in it. He went over and helped her pull it out when he saw he was holding a feather that looked much like a dart with its tip visibly ruddy.
"All of you, Knock it off already!"
Lyle looked up with his Sneasel and Heliolisk teammates, who both suddenly seemed to become a lot more clear-headed. There, above them was the Decidueye barkeep glaring down, his eyes locked with theirs with a look that could kill.
"You're paying for that mug you broke!" the Decidueye snapped. "Keep this up, and I'll lay you out so that way you can pass the rest of the night in a cell with the local Gendarmen!"
Lyle flattened his ears and gulped. That was about the last thing that they needed, and a sign that it was time for the lot of them to retire to the room they'd bought for the night. Now. Before the owl really did get the guards involved. The Quilava gave an apologetic bow, before hurriedly going over to Kate.
"S-Sorry," he stammered. "Guess that's a sign that we've had enough to drink tonight. We'll just be going now."
Lyle tugged at Kate and hurriedly helped the Sneasel weakly prop herself up. She pawed at her head, while a quick look over at Irune revealed her approaching Dalton as he lay on the ground groaning. At least the two were still conscious, if drunk enough to visibly take even the Decidueye aback as he scowled at his Bagon apprentice.
"What sort of 'mons did you make this stuff for, Darts?" the Decidueye demanded. "Those two jokers have barely had a few pints in them and they're already drunk off their tails!"
"Eiche, I made it with one share of water!" Darts insisted "Just like the mix called for!"
"That's a mix for Pullers!" the Decidueye snapped. "Do those two look bulky enough to have ever pulled a wagon before in their lives?!"
The Bagon flinched and grimaced as the Decidueye dressed him down behind the counter. Lyle glanced at Kate as she staggered and leaned against his shoulder, and then over to Irune as she helped Dalton sit up woozily. Irune left the Heliolisk's side with a quiet shake of her head, before looking back to Lyle with a low murmur.
"… I told you there was something strange about the drinks, Lyle."
… Right, she'd said that earlier. Lyle supposed it wasn't smart after all to just write off her complaints earlier. Rookie or not, Irune was the only one of them who noticed something was amiss with the beers they'd ordered, and just what he'd finished of his was already making him feel buzzed. From the Heliolisk's place on the floor, Lyle suddenly heard Dalton's voice hitch and whine as sniffles rose from the back of his throat.
"Dieter… Don't leave me…"
Lyle blinked and shook his head. He didn't know what Dalton's life story was, just that he was making a fool of himself right about now and they'd do well to make themselves scarce while Eiche and Darts were busy in their argument. He hurried over, and pulled Dalton, still sniffling up from his place and onto his feet, looking into the Heliolisk's glassy eyes.
"Let's just get to our room and crash before we get kicked out," the Quilava sighed. "We can start fresh tomorrow once everyone's sober."
Lyle motioned to Irune as they helped their companions along, dutifully ignoring the few other patrons as they lurched out of the tavern, through the hostel's lobby, and up the steps for their room. and what they hoped would be a sound enough night of rest to get by the next morning.
Since gods, they were going to need it.
Author's Notes:
Words and Phrases
1. Edlen - Plural of "Edler", a type of landless noble and traditionally the lowest titled rank of nobility in the Germanosphere. Historically bestowed as a reward for military service or distinguished civil servants. Traditionally translated in English as "Noble(s)".
2. Igelavar - "Quilava"
3. Elezard - "Heliolisk"
4. Sniebel - "Sneasel"
5. Fennexis - "Delphox"
6. Das Grüne Dragoran - "The Green Dragonite"
7. Rutena - "Braixen"
8. Tut mir leid - Clipping of "Es tut mir leid", a more formal manner of apologizing, lit. "It causes me pain"
9. Drapfel - "Flapple"
10. Doppelböcke - Plural of "Doppelbock", a type of beer with a particularly high alcohol content by volume that is traditionally made in Germany
Teaser Text
It is said that in the ages before the Great Flash, humanity managed to prosper even while lacking power of their own through their wisdom. While their relics and ruins bear testament to their abilities to engineer grand structures and fashion wonders from our world's materials, such feats would not have been possible had they not also excelled at medicine.
Those fragments of history speak of contraptions whose descriptions seem truly miraculous. Machines that could heal lesser wounds in the twinkling of an eye. Medicines sprayed from bottles that could ward off all manner of maladies, so common that humble merchants were said to ply wares that would be the envy of our apothecaries. Houses of healing that offered their services without charge to all who needed them.
While much of that knowledge has been lost to the ages, we Civils have managed to preserve fragments of it that allow us to fashion medicines of our own. To set broken limbs and treat wounds that would be the end of a Pokémon living as a Wilder. Much like our forebears, it is said that those who founded the kingdoms of our world, including Klaus the Founder himself, deemed it fit that their lands' houses of healing should similarly give their services without demanding pay from their patients.
That is not to say that such care goes without cost. In our land, it falls to the crown and its servants to pay our healers. And for the Pokémon that shelter under their shield, it is said that the Founder and his counterpart in the Kingdom of Edialeigh found it fitting to ask for their strength in service in return.
To build up their realmsᵃ and defend them. Even if it meant traveling far from home. Even if it meant imperiling one's life so that others might enjoy their protections.
- Excerpt from 'The Varhyder Chronicles - A Brief History of our Kingdom's Early Years'
a. 'Reich(e)’ in German in its literal usage functions as a term for the territory of a state or empire under a common ruler. (e.x. Frankreich for "France" or Österreich for "Austria".) It is commonly translated as “realm” in English, especially for usages in figurative language (e.x. Reich der Fabel would typically be rendered as "realm of fables")
Fs out to the poor souls reading this on sites without embeded text stuff. The hightongue bit is suitably fancy and stuff but it does screech the pace to a halt when I have to stop to pull up the embed (or, thinking as someone not reading it on TR, constantly scroll back and forth for the translations). At least with visual mediums they could put subtitles for the viewer's language of choice. Not so much for fan fics outside of xenforo magic.
I suspect that all the talk of our little axew not knowing the extent of what she truly is is meant to be a bit ironic, since the monster house 'mons just giving up the fight and GTFOing feels like something she might have indirectly caused through the use of some sort of latent ability. Maybe. Possibly. Otherwise, it's somewhat standard dungeon crawling fare for the outlaws outside of finding the mysterious human ruins. More of the set up probably lies in the army scene with Lacan dropping all these statements about Irune's importance to their king. He can only keep hinting at it for so long before something viscerally manifests that readers can recognize as being a big deal. :P
… No, it wasn't like her. And there was no reason to believe that she'd learned anything specific about her nature or what His Majesty's army intended to use it for that would plant such an idea in her head.
Hi there! Seems I scored you in the catnip this time around, woohoo! I'll be doing the prologue and the first chapter of this story!
I am super new here, I mainly hang out on the discord, and it's my first time doing anything like this, although I have dug through older catnip reviews to get the gist for how they're structured. So hopefully this doesn't turn out too awful
[--I'll just preface this by saying I'm not a super critical reviewer whatsoever, unless there are glaring basic spelling/grammar/formatting mistakes (which I didn't find at all in your writing so far). I lean towards the view that writing is a style and everyone has their own voice, so how I would like something to read doesn't necessarily matter. Confuse me, dazzle me, make me wonder why something is the way it is, that's the good stuff! Your voice is yours and I'm just here to enjoy and learn from it.
--I will also add I haven't ever read fics that are Pokemon-centered or PMD-centered as those games weren't part of my pokemon experience growing up, so if there are common references to those kinds of things I will likely miss them, forgive the ignorance 😅I stuck to the core games and the anime/movies more than anything, so it's safe to say my experience with the franchise definitely involved a lot of humans! I'm really looking forward to the experience of being immersed in solely a pokemon-run world. Onward!]
So, first I am fascinated by the level of worldbuilding you've set up here. It feels on par with something out of Sanderson or Star Wars. Big war going on, hard times, rationing, escaping with alcohol, having to watch your back constantly... this setting is familiar and I understand what you're going for instantly.
Admittedly I speak zero German and have therefore zero understanding of the language, but the interjections of various words and phrases in conjunction with surrounding context definitely helps draw me into the stage you're setting.
I particularly enjoyed this exchange. I love morally ambiguous characters like Nils, who is projected as a soldier for the good fight, but is not above swilling the weak out of money as some sort of misguided penance.
Any hope of a decisive victory had died many years ago, much like the gods who'd once fought under the banners of those two lands and met their ends on the battlefield like so many others.
Such a big but vague hint at the backstory of this war. It's apparently been large enough to involve gods -- or maybe started by them? I just wonder which legendaries the "gods" here are!
...his time as a Quilava was nearing an end. Whenever that happened, he'd need to afford the extra food to feed his new body somehow, and it sure as hell wasn't going to happen with his wages.
So interesting, considering evolution as almost a burden rather than something to look forward to. I appreciate the attention to biophysics here when it comes to changing anatomy via evolution.
"Yeah, well last I checked, the Foehn Gang doesn't exist anymore and the Charizard who used to run it got pushed into an Apricorn to starve to death," Lyle grumbled.
"Got pushed into an Apricorn" SO MANY QUESTIONS, is this a pokeball predecessor somehow? And damn what a dark way to die, trapped in one to starve to death. Yikes.
You've clearly put a lot of consideration and love into this, just from the prologue, and it shows. I'm actually looking forward to continuing onto the first chapter!
Thanks for posting this and for your time and energy, they're very valuable resources :)
Catnip review number two... And: onto chapter one!
So this whole chapter gave me Star Wars: Rebels feelings, in the absolute best way. I'm not sure if you're a fan of that franchise and I'm not saying this to compare your work to another fandom at all, but to express that your scene creation and character actions/development are bringing back a lot of nostalgia for me when it comes to other characters and settings I adore. That's not something I expected at all from a PMD fic, but it's lovely for me!
Lyle is becoming a lot like Ezra from that series, in his desire to prove his worth through big and bold actions despite risk. And that he's an uppity underdog with a fiery heart -- in Lyle's case quite literally. The whole "ragtag group of outlaws making a home out of a dirty camp" thing is also really wonderful to read. Lyle's recognition of its comforting homelike qualities made me smile too.
I think Lyle is growing on me because as you might guess from my profile pic, fire-types are my favorite ever since I started with charmander way back on Red Version :D (And yeah that meant as soon as Gold/Silver/Crystal were out, I went straight for cyndaquil)
So my husband is from Australia and anytime I read "oi" I read everything following in an Aussie accent because of him I actually wanted to ask you, are these various pokemon meant to have "accents" of any kind? Like how should they be sounding in my head, or is that kind of left up to reader interpretation?
I was also wondering: some description of the pokemon's voices every now and then might be a fun addition to your writing! Given the huge variety of pokemon speaking, I'm left wondering what they sound like, and I quoted this because I guess a Steelix would have a deep, gravelly (pun intended) voice. But there's other scenes with the Staraptor which made me wonder if that voice would be higher pitched or more shrill like a hawk's call.
Okay so I'm not sure if "seamitar" was a phrase already in existence in reference to a Samurott's blades, but if it wasn't, and is your creation, IT'S WONDERFUL. It's both functional and a pun. Doesn't get better than that.
Oh Spirit World is in caps! I have many questions! I love exploring afterlife beliefs in the pokemon realm. I wonder if any legendaries like Giratina are involved. I hope this gets some expansion in future chapters.
I'm enjoying this so don't be surprised if a few more reviews pop up over the next few weeks or months. I like to read before bed and this is something engaging and light to help relax me at the end of the day. Thanks again for your time and energy!
Hey, everyone. Cutting it a bit close, but still managed to get a fresh chapter together in time to get it shipped before the end of the month. But before then, looks like I've got some reviews to respond to. o<o
Fs out to the poor souls reading this on sites without embeded text stuff. The hightongue bit is suitably fancy and stuff but it does screech the pace to a halt when I have to stop to pull up the embed (or, thinking as someone not reading it on TR, constantly scroll back and forth for the translations). At least with visual mediums they could put subtitles for the viewer's language of choice. Not so much for fan fics outside of xenforo magic.
Yeeeeeah, it's a bit of a tradeoff for the stylistic choice, but eh. I've made it, and attempting to switch things up so late would be a bit jarring, so c’est la vie.
I suspect that all the talk of our little axew not knowing the extent of what she truly is is meant to be a bit ironic, since the monster house 'mons just giving up the fight and GTFOing feels like something she might have indirectly caused through the use of some sort of latent ability. Maybe. Possibly. Otherwise, it's somewhat standard dungeon crawling fare for the outlaws outside of finding the mysterious human ruins. More of the set up probably lies in the army scene with Lacan dropping all these statements about Irune's importance to their king. He can only keep hinting at it for so long before something viscerally manifests that readers can recognize as being a big deal. :P
The Monster House imploding was actually due more to something going on with the locals as opposed to Team Forager, as you’ll see firsthand whenever you get to the next chapter. As for Irune… hold onto that thought, really.
Though real talk, for whatever reason, even though Fire-types being uncomfortable around water is a pretty tried and true trope for the fandom, for whatever reason, I don’t really recall it being played around with how they react to humidity, so I decided to have some fun there.
I might need to rephrase that at a better hour, since Irune likely has gathered the overbroad purposes the army has for her, she just hasn’t figured out the “how” or “why” behind them.
Ah, yes, the oft-forgotten cousin of Primeval Forest.
Such is life when your Mystery Dungeon’s name originates as an alt-localization mythology gag to a place from a Xenoblade game. Said place in that localization has a part that’s usually commonly translated as ‘Primeval Forest’ in English, which unfortunately was a no-go thanks to Super in English having that as the name of an important late-game area.
"They sequence broke into an endgame dungeon! What are we supposed to do about that?!"
Bold of you to assume that when Lacan was openly considering “well, what if the gang slips into another dungeon?”. Granted, knowing where someone’s going isn’t quite the same as being in a position to do anything about it.
Ah, yes, the true power of the disappeared humans: finding the computer room.
Correct, though I would assume it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. In this setting, the Fossil Pokémon crawling around in the present day barring deliberate weirdness that may or may not ever happen are the descendants of already revived specimens from a little over a thousand years ago.
Yeah, while there is recruitment in this setting, it’s not exactly a free action for the team or anyone they rope into their orbit since… yeah, being some of the most wanted ‘mons in the land tends to make for hostile training environments for newbies. As such it's not something Team Forager can do as trivially as a more conventional protagonist team might.
Irune probably could’ve handled things a bit more graciously, but that’s the reason for the “hi-bye” of ‘Cabot at home’ there.
Hey man, having fun with alt-languages lets you sneak in some sly stuff sometimes. It’s neither the first nor the last little bonus of that sort for the eagle-eyed.
Though thanks for the review! Sounds like you enjoyed yourself, and it's reminding me that I need to get current on your stuff again sometime soon.
Heya, sorry to keep you waiting on my Catnip review which at the time of writing this was overdue by a couple days, but as something to tide you over until I can knock that out more properly, how about a review response?:
Hi there! Seems I scored you in the catnip this time around, woohoo! I'll be doing the prologue and the first chapter of this story!
I am super new here, I mainly hang out on the discord, and it's my first time doing anything like this, although I have dug through older catnip reviews to get the gist for how they're structured. So hopefully this doesn't turn out too awful
Nah, don’t sweat it in the future. I’m pretty open to getting whatever for reviews as long as the reviewer just puts their honest thoughts down. And I had a pretty fun time going through your feedback.
So, first I am fascinated by the level of worldbuilding you've set up here. It feels on par with something out of Sanderson or Star Wars. Big war going on, hard times, rationing, escaping with alcohol, having to watch your back constantly... this setting is familiar and I understand what you're going for instantly.
I’ll admit, that for Wander’s setting in particular, I was a bit more of a hack than I usually try to be and a good chunk of the worldbuilding is a love letter to various games from the Xeno series or else used similar concepts that I played around with with @Virgil134 in Fledglings, but I’m glad to hear that in spite of it that Wander still feels like a living and breathing world to you, since I’ve always considered being able to pull off that sort of setting one of my stronger suits as an author.
Admittedly I speak zero German and have therefore zero understanding of the language, but the interjections of various words and phrases in conjunction with surrounding context definitely helps draw me into the stage you're setting.
This was also heartening. The German language content can get a bit divisive at times among readers, but I made a point fairly early on in this story to try and be aggressive about trying to make sure that there were context clues to help readers pick up on them.
I particularly enjoyed this exchange. I love morally ambiguous characters like Nils, who is projected as a soldier for the good fight, but is not above swilling the weak out of money as some sort of misguided penance.
I mean, nobody ever said that soldiers were reflexively noble. Nils is very much an example of one that is not.
Such a big but vague hint at the backstory of this war. It's apparently been large enough to involve gods -- or maybe started by them? I just wonder which legendaries the "gods" here are!
Something to keep an eye out for as you read along.
So interesting, considering evolution as almost a burden rather than something to look forward to. I appreciate the attention to biophysics here when it comes to changing anatomy via evolution.
To be fair, were Lyle not struggling to feed himself in his present circumstances, it’d probably be significantly less of a burden for him. But he is, and as such it’s made something that would otherwise likely be something he’d be excited about into a source of dread.
"Got pushed into an Apricorn" SO MANY QUESTIONS, is this a pokeball predecessor somehow? And damn what a dark way to die, trapped in one to starve to death. Yikes.
Apricorns in both of the PMD stories I have a hand in writing at the moment are treated as proto-Pokéballs, so basically yes.
So this whole chapter gave me Star Wars: Rebels feelings, in the absolute best way. I'm not sure if you're a fan of that franchise and I'm not saying this to compare your work to another fandom at all, but to express that your scene creation and character actions/development are bringing back a lot of nostalgia for me when it comes to other characters and settings I adore. That's not something I expected at all from a PMD fic, but it's lovely for me!
I actually am not familiar with Star Wars: Rebels, but you’re not the first reader to make the comparison. Might be a sign for me to check it out sometime.
Lyle is becoming a lot like Ezra from that series, in his desire to prove his worth through big and bold actions despite risk. And that he's an uppity underdog with a fiery heart -- in Lyle's case quite literally. The whole "ragtag group of outlaws making a home out of a dirty camp" thing is also really wonderful to read. Lyle's recognition of its comforting homelike qualities made me smile too.
Glad to hear, since it made Lyle smile too, and as the viewpoint character for that scene, it was a goal to try and make his thought process rub off onto the readers a bit.
I think Lyle is growing on me because as you might guess from my profile pic, fire-types are my favorite ever since I started with charmander way back on Red Version :D (And yeah that meant as soon as Gold/Silver/Crystal were out, I went straight for cyndaquil)
I mean, it helps that his species is literally visually designed to move merchandise. Though I’m glad to hear that, since while Lyle is very much a flawed character, he was always meant to be one that the audience would still find sympathetic enough to root for.
Glad to hear that at least thus far it’s succeeding.
These little mannerisms are lovely and I can picture them vividly.
What can I say? I’m a bit of a sucker for doing that.
So my husband is from Australia and anytime I read "oi" I read everything following in an Aussie accent because of him I actually wanted to ask you, are these various pokemon meant to have "accents" of any kind? Like how should they be sounding in my head, or is that kind of left up to reader interpretation?
Dalton is implied by a passing mention in the text to have the equivalent of a German accent, and presumably a number of character that pop up from later on from higher social stations would be in a similar boat, but otherwise it’s something left floating for readers to fill in mentally.
We all need a friend like Kate to tell it like it is.
And to keep life interesting, even if it sometimes causes problems. :V
I was also wondering: some description of the pokemon's voices every now and then might be a fun addition to your writing! Given the huge variety of pokemon speaking, I'm left wondering what they sound like, and I quoted this because I guess a Steelix would have a deep, gravelly (pun intended) voice. But there's other scenes with the Staraptor which made me wonder if that voice would be higher pitched or more shrill like a hawk's call.
I’ll keep it in mind, since I actually do things like that in Fledglings occasionally, and in retrospect I probably should’ve added a couple more here and there for some of these characters.
Okay so I'm not sure if "seamitar" was a phrase already in existence in reference to a Samurott's blades, but if it wasn't, and is your creation, IT'S WONDERFUL. It's both functional and a pun. Doesn't get better than that.
I wish I could take credit for this, but it is actually official localization lingo for them. Ditto ‘scalchop’ for Oshawott and Dewott’s scallop-shaped blades.
Oh Spirit World is in caps! I have many questions! I love exploring afterlife beliefs in the pokemon realm. I wonder if any legendaries like Giratina are involved. I hope this gets some expansion in future chapters.
It’s a reuse for what the afterlife is referred to as in the canon PMD games. I might drop in some mentions about it and how it’s seen in-story as a flavor thing, but otherwise the focus will be elsewhere on topics of cosmic importance.
I'm enjoying this so don't be surprised if a few more reviews pop up over the next few weeks or months. I like to read before bed and this is something engaging and light to help relax me at the end of the day. Thanks again for your time and energy!
Honestly, I should be thanking you, since your review was very fun to go though and had some nice suggestions for me to consider. I’ll be looking forward to paying things back in the near future.
Alright, and with that, let’s jump right in to where we left off from last time:
Im Namen von Graf Lacan von Wellenhafen und Eure Majestät Siegmund von Wahrheit möchte ich Sie um Ihre Hilfe bei der Suche nach Pokémon bitten, die für eure Majestät und seine Streitkräfte von Interesse sind. Ihre Beschreibungen, der letzte bekannte Aufenthaltsort und die bekannten Decknamen wurden den beigefügten Fahndungsplakaten beigefügt. Sorgen Sie dafür, dass sie so schnell wie möglich kopiert und verteilt werden.
Nehmen Sie jeden lebendig fest, der den enthaltenen Beschreibungen entspricht, insbesondere die Milza. Dieser Punkt kann nicht genug betont werden, da die Bilanz des Sieges für die gegenwärtigen Feldzüge der Armee gegen das Königreich der Ideale möglicherweise von ihrem Wohlergehen abhängt, mit potenziell existenziellen Auswirkungen auf das Reich, wenn ihr etwas zustoßen würde.
Als solche erwarten Graf von Wellenhafen und Eure Majestät, dass diesen Aufforderungen entsprechend nach Ihren Möglichkeiten entsprochen wird. Die Schatzkammer von Eurer Majestät wird alle zu zahlenden Prämien kompensieren, einschließlich der Prämien, die für Fälle von Identitätsverwechslungen ausgezahlt werden. Für unsere gegenwärtige Mission wäre es weniger schädlich, solche öffentlichen Verlegenheiten zu erleiden und später stillschweigend Wiedergutmachung zu leisten, als zu riskieren, dass diese Pokémon Ihren Gendarmen entkommen, indem sie sich selbst zweifeln.
Ich wünschte, ich könnte offener über unsere Umstände sprechen, aber die Pflicht zwingt mich, vorsichtig zu bleiben. Seien Sie sich bewusst, dass die Festnahme dieser vier für Ihre Reihen die wichtigste Aufgabe sein könnte, die sie jemals erhalten haben.
Wichtig genug, dass es die Zukunft dieses Landes bestimmen könnte, welches wir „Wahrheit“ nennen.
- Dringende Depesche von Ritterin von Herbergau, Sophia Krarmorstochter weitergeleitet an den Grafschaftens Oberwachtmeister von der Osttorsteppe Provinz
After a brief stop to get directions from the receptionist, Lyle and Irune lugged their drunken teammates up to a room on the hostel’s second floor which overlooked the nearby river. Much to the Quilava’s disappointment, there was no lock on the doors, nor on any of the other rooms in the hostel. Either the proprietors didn’t feel they needed them in such a small village where many of the normal residents probably already knew each other, or else they were just too cheap to get them fitted.
Lyle suspected it was probably for the latter reason. While the cushions that had been laid out as rough mattresses on the floor were more presentable than bare heaps of straw, they were visibly worn and threadbare. Said floor’s wooden planks sported stains here and there that looked like they’d come from water leaking onto them from the ceiling… there were some other possible causes for them that crossed the Quilava’s mind in light of the tavern downstairs, but he tried not to dwell on them too much.
The room had little in the way of furnishings beyond a chest and two stools pressed up against the wall furthest from the door—a makeshift table and dresser which did neither task particularly well. And opposite the bedding, there was a piece of glass scuffed about its edges hung on the wall for a mirror.
How on earth had that Braixen ever been excited to spend the night in a place like this?
… Perhaps that was unfair of him. As meager as the accommodations were, he supposed that he shouldn’t be complaining about them too much. They were still better than the ones he’d had in his burrow for the past two years, and they were good enough that his teammates had managed to fall asleep on them a while ago. Kate and Dalton had passed out quickly enough on their bedding, though Lyle suspected those beers the two got plastered with probably helped. He couldn’t hear any sign of Irune being awake either, so why was he still squirming and unable to fall asleep even after the moon had reached its high point in the night sky?
Was it those gnawing feelings of guilt he had over not coming to Alvin’s aid in Moonturn Square? Was he still shaken from his experiences in Primordial Woods? His worries of how the hell they were going to make it across half the Kingdom and through some godsawful Mystery Dungeon out to the Divine Roost?
Lyle’s gaze drifted towards the floor, where from the window’s direction, there was a silhouette of its crossbars dividing up a patch awash in bluish-green light.
Right. Whatever was really keeping him up, the amount of light coming through the windows from the auroras outside definitely wasn’t helping. He couldn’t tell whether this was a fresh set of them or if the skies had just been disturbed all evening, but the ones outside were stronger than he’d remembered seeing in some time. Enough so that he was pretty sure he could read a book from their light without having to light his vents up for illumination.
The Quilava shuffled off his bedding and stretched his body, before stumbling drowsily over to the window. He reared up as he approached and raised a paw to reach for the curtains… only to feel it rub up against wooden timbers. Lyle blinked and looked closer, when he discovered that aside from impressions from where a rod for them used to be, there was no sign of any curtains to speak of. The window at least had wooden shutters, but they were mounted on the outside of the building and opened outwards from the room… without a pull-cord attached for a smaller Pokémon like him to draw them shut. Trying his luck with the Flapple receptionist downstairs would surely go nowhere fast—Flapple weren't normally nocturnal types, and at an hour like this, the Dragon-type was surely fast asleep by now.
“Cheap dump,” he grunted.
Lyle flared in irritation and slunk back to all fours as he drifted back for his bedding. He briefly turned his head after hearing Kate snore and shift in her sleep, as she waved a claw at an unseen presence in her dreams.
“Nrgh… Why would it matter if he wants it or not? He's a jerk and got the snacks, and you want it more.”
Lyle blinked for a moment. That must’ve been one hell of a dream Kate was having there, not that he had any idea of how he’d be having any of his own anytime soon at this rate. The floor creaked as Lyle began to settle back in on his bedding, when he chanced to notice the strap of his bag poking out of the chest-table at the far end of the room.
Right. He still had that Sleep Seed he found from Raptor Rock in there. Dalton and especially Irune would surely give him crap for using it as a sleeping aid instead of saving it for a fight, but it was his bag and Sleep Seeds weren’t that hard to come across. If push came to shove, they could just nick a replacement on their way out of town.
The Quilava walked over and propped the chest open, rooting through his bag with his paws until he came across a seed with ruffled, bristled tips. He pulled it out, and sure enough, it was the familiar pink-and-white of a Sleep Seed. The Fire-type wrapped his paw around it, before reaching up to close the chest’s lid when he noticed something further inside and stopped himself:
There, among his and his teammates’ belongings was a dog-eared, tawny bag tucked towards its rear, with the corner of what looked like some sort of slate poking out of it.
… That was Irune’s bag, if a bit emptier since she’d taken out some of her “treasure” to sleep on again. It was hard to believe she’d been so desperate to get it back on their first night together in Waterhead Cave when it was a ratty mess like that. He figured that all those stupid baubles must’ve helped wear it out, but… Irune had never mentioned having a slate with her.
Lyle took a moment to check his surroundings. There was no sign of movement and heard nothing other than his teammates’ snoring. He knew it was a stupid idea, but he just couldn’t help but wonder…
Was this slate or whatever it was what had made Irune so worried about Myra holding onto her bag? If so, what on earth was it?
Lyle let curiosity get the better of him as he stooped and set the Sleep Seed down on a stool, and tugged the Axew’s bag towards him.
“What on earth have you been keeping in there?”
Lyle tugged at the corner of the object poking out of Irune’s bag, and quickly discovered it was a wax paper sleeve. Of the sort that Hunters would use to keep handbooks or the like safe from being soaked.
The Quilava raised a brow and pulled the sleeve open and found a book with a beaten brown cover and a strap over its front. He cracked it open and found it had blank pages, a few sporting water damage or discoloration from dirt. Probably sometime before the protective sleeve came along.
Lyle flipped through the pages back to the front where he began to see line after line of runes written in messy paw-writing. After going through a few of them, one of the lines caught his attention as he stopped and read it aloud to himself.
“‘I had the same dream again last night’?”
It was a bit hard to make out the rest from his darkened corner. Lyle’s vents began to flicker to life, but he quickly decided against trying to use it to read—just in case Irune wound up smelling their smoke. The Quilava crept forward a couple paces, and he raised the tome up to the light coming through the window as he returned his attention to the passage he’d come across.
I had the same dream again last night. Cade told me to talk to the teacher about it, to see if she could help me make sense of it since like me, he doesn’t have parents to ask. I don’t know if it’s a good idea, though.
In my dream, I saw the village on fire from high up in the air and a scary monster that was angry at me. I thought it was just a nightmare that kept coming back, but when I described the monster to Cade, he said I dreamed about some sort of god and was worried that I’d make others mad if I told them about it.
I don’t want them to think that there’s something wrong with me, but will it really upset them so much if I tell them? It was just a dream, right?
Lyle blinked as he realized that he was reading some sort of diary that Irune had been keeping. Though a ‘dream’, huh? The Quilava couldn’t help but grow curious at the mention and began to turn the page when sharp pain suddenly shot through his right leg.
“Gah!”
Lyle reflexively flared up with a start and dropped the diary to the floor. He whirled as he tumbled onto his flank and curled up to nurse his leg where he saw a ruddy streak. Then came Irune pouncing on the dropped book and crouching over it, as she glared up at him and growled much as if he’d chipped one of her tusks.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you to keep your paws to yourself?!” the Axew hissed. “Don’t go through my bag like that!”
Lyle pushed out frustrated fire from his vents and bared his teeth back at the smaller Dragon-type. The little ankle-biter really was trying her hardest to make sure they’d never want to see each other again after clearing out the Divine Roost, wasn’t she?
“Didn’t anyone teach you not to pick a fight?” the Quilava shot back. “I thought we were all supposed to be on the same page here!”
“You don’t need to go through my diary to get the treasure from there!” the Axew spat. “And I certainly don’t need you pawing through it!”
Lyle bit his tongue and hesitated. It was admittedly hard to argue the point. He didn’t think that Dalton kept a diary, and he was pretty sure Kate wouldn’t either given that her ability to read and write runes had always been a bit shaky, but he couldn’t imagine either of them would be happy if he tried to pry into their personal lives unasked.
… No. Even if it was nosy, this was the same ‘mon who’d led a Fähnlein straight to them by keeping tight-lipped about what happened between her and the army until it was too late. The least she could afford to do was to at least give him a hint as to what she was up to in there.
“Irune, what’s in that thing?” Lyle demanded. “Why are you so afraid of anyone else knowing about it?”
The Axew turned away and crouched over the book, guarding it much as if she were a Spoink about to be separated from her pearl. She let out a quiet growl and yanked the tome up, wrapping her arms around it tightly.
“I’m not going to tell you that,” she harrumphed. “It’s my diary.
Lyle reared up and let the fire from his vents roar to life, as the Quilava failed to hold back his temper and grabbed at the young Dragon-type’s free arm with a low, irritated growl.
“Well it’s obviously more than just a list of your old crushes for you to be acting like this!” he snapped. “You already screwed us over more than once already by keeping things to yourself, so why don’t you at least give me a general topic of what you wrote in there?!”
The Axew flinched and trembled briefly, before she grit her teeth and whirled around, firmly tucking her diary under an arm as she jabbed a finger back in Lyle’s snout with a sharp hiss.
“H-How about you remember your current circumstances, Quilava?! The diary either stays mine and private, or I walk!” she shot back. “If you’re going to be such a snoop, you and your friends can try your luck getting to the Divine Roost and finding that treasure on your own!”
Lyle shot a long, piercing scowl back. Who did this little twerp think she was to think that they’d be the ones who’d be worse off from parting ways? And yet, something about her wavering eyes seemed off. Scared. Desperate, even. As if she were back in Primordial Woods and backed into a corner by Rankar.
He didn’t know what had gotten into her, but Lyle knew Irune seemed agitated enough to do something stupid that she’d regret later. His, Kate, and Dalton’s own hopes for a future boiled down to snagging enough loot from the Divine Roost to pay off Pokémon that would otherwise be at their throats. As unsatisfying as it felt right then, it wouldn’t do any good to alienate the Pokémon that they were clinging to for that chance.
The Quilava let his flames die down and dropped back on all fours. He frowned and kept quiet, brushing past the young Dragon-type as he looked back with a dismissive snort.
“Whatever, just go back to sleep,” he spat. “And try to act like you’re on a team with us. You’re not helping your own odds by constantly being snippy like this!”
Irune fell silent and seemed to shrink back a moment, but Lyle decided he was too tired to see what that was about. He snagged his Sleep Seed off the stool and made his way back to his bed, where he flopped down on his cushions and curled up on them, hiding the seed under his flank. He pawed at the nick on his leg and flattened his ears when he found it still stung to touch. The Quilava glanced off at Irune’s bed under the window where he saw she was settling in uneasily and trying to curl up with a thin blanket as she visibly shivered from the cold.
… Whatever, it wasn’t his job to be her hearth.
The Quilava popped the Sleep Seed into his mouth and bit down. He felt a wave of drowsiness come over him, as the greenish-blue light on the floor faded out and the world went dark and he flopped against his bedding.
It was one of those dreams again. They’d been coming more and more frequently over the last year, but it had been a while since they’d repeated for Irune over the course of multiple days.
She was in a darkened sky, feeling as if she’d just been caked over by a Blizzard. Falling over points of light as the world spun around her. She always felt miserable in this dream for some reason. Probably because every time she had it, she was always helpless. No matter what she tried, she couldn’t move her limbs, couldn’t feel them for that matter, even as the air whistled past her again and again.
The ground disappeared during one rotation, as she caught a brief glimpse of a giant, gray figure spiraling out of the sky. She rolled back towards the ground, and after another spin, the figure in the air was gone.
Everything in this dream would come to her muddled, much like it would’ve if she’d just woken up after a restless night where she’d barely slept. Or if someone really had frozen her over with a Blizzard. But even so, she began to make out more things from the ground below.
Rooftops. With smoke and fires curling up here and there among them. The bay of roars and crash of attacks mixed with the booms of cannons spewing Apricorn shot and Blast Seed shells rang out in the distance beyond its fringes. And here and there, the cacophony would be punctuated by screams.
Of pain.
Of fear.
Of death.
She was spinning slower now, as she saw the rooftops fast approaching, with her body centered over the tatty roof of a pavilion painted in pitted and worn dark colors that had been sealed up. The same one from her hometown. Some of the nearby buildings were different, but every time, the shrine was the same.
And every time, Irune was unable to move. Unable to raise her head, to flail her limbs, to look away as her path evened out over the short stretch of steps up to the boarded-up shrine. She tried to scream and cry out for help, but the words wouldn’t come to her mouth. Not even the pathetic whimper she wanted to let out came as the lanes and rooftops began to take form.
For a brief moment, the rooftops slipped from her field of view as Irune fell lower and lower. Her vision increasingly filled with the steps to the shrine below her until it blotted everything out.
And then like it always did, everything went dark and she could no longer hear or feel anything.
“Irune?”
Irune jolted awake as a voice pricked her ears. She felt her collection of baubles brush up against her scales and rattle against each other as they shifted on her cushion. The Axew panted a moment, noticing that the thin blanket the bed came with was lying in a heap on the side, and that Lyle was in front of her, looking down at her and blinking wordlessly.
“Is something going on?” the Quilava asked. “You were thrashing in your sleep again.”
Irune righted herself, and gathered up a few glass beads from her bedding. Now that her eyes were adjusting, she saw that aside from fire flickering out of Lyle’s vents, that the room was still dark. A quick look at the windows revealed the sun was barely starting to poke over the horizon. She briefly noticed that the Quilava’s face almost had a twinge of worry to it, before the Axew forced a neutral expression over her face and shook her head back in reply.
“I… I just had a bad dream. That’s all.”
Irune wasn’t sure if they really were just dreams at this point or not. A part of her wanted them to be, but…
She doubted explaining things to Lyle one way or another would change much anyways. And it wasn’t something that a ‘mon who stole from others by trade needed to know anyways. The Fire-type’s concern seemed to fade away quickly, as his expression hardened and he looked away with a low grunt.
“Hrmph, if you’re still mad about last night, you can just say—”
“Lyle, it was a nightmare,” she insisted. “Just don’t worry about it. I’m… sure it’ll go away on its own.”
Irune bit her tongue after the last part of her statement as Lyle raised a brow at her. Why didn’t she just tell him not to worry about her dream? She herself didn’t believe that reassurance, and the way she’d said it couldn’t possibly have made it more obvious she was lying.
The Quilava’s expression confirmed her worries that he didn’t believe her, but even so, he turned away and seemed reluctant to press on further.
“Yeah, they always do,” he said. “Sometimes it feels like this entire journey’s been a bad dream.”
Something about him seemed hurt, even if he didn’t show it much. Was he still upset over everything that happened yesterday? From before then? Over what had happened to his friends? For a brief moment, Irune thought to interject, to insist that she didn’t mean for any of those things to happen.
“Nrgh…”
Irune turned and saw Kate and Dalton cradling their heads, obviously hung over from last night. Her eyes fell on Dalton’s splinted arm, and she couldn’t help but feel an uncomfortable chill at the sight.
It hadn’t even been three days together with this group, and already things were repeating themselves.
… Though why did she care so much if they were? They had joined forces as a matter of convenience. Each of the three had their own path to go if they managed to make it to the Divine Roost and put this nightmare behind them, and she had her own.
For everyone’s sake, it was for the best for them to stay at arm’s length from each other. She’d seen enough over the past year to know that not keeping distant would just end bitterly for everyone.
Like it did for the Balance Bandits.
Irune back to attention after a paw at her arm. A glance up revealed Lyle looking off and frowning annoyedly at Dalton and Kate as they staggered and shrank back from the morning sun. He lingered for a moment before turning back to the Axew with an impatient shake of his head.
“Hurry and pack your stuff up,” he said. “We shouldn’t assume that Graf Wellenhafen is far enough away from us to spend another night here. Let’s grab some supplies before the morning rush sets in and figure out where to go next after we get out of town.”
Lyle started off and Irune shuffled onto her feet to gather her belongings, still breathing tensely from her dream. The floor’s creaks carried on for a few paces, only to suddenly pause. The Axew turned and saw Quilava watching Dalton and Kate feebly lurch and slouch along after him in a visible daze and him flattening his ears.
… Right, they had to manage everything all while Kate and Dalton were hung over. Irune turned her head up to the Quilava and pawed at the back of her head with a nervous hem and haw.
“Er… we are going to do something about those two, right?”
The Quilava studied the hung-over Heliolisk and Sneasel for a moment, before he hung his head with a tired sigh.
“... I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world to try and order some Persim Juice or something like that from the bar to try and get those two over the hill a bit faster.”
After stopping by the tavern and parting with a few loose Poké to pick up a pair of Persim Juices from a much less energetic Decidueye at the inn’s tavern, “Igel” checked out with the Flapple receptionist and led the rest of Team Forager through the inn’s entrance and into the morning daylight.
Lyle took a moment to blink back the morning light as his eyes adjusted to it and his surroundings. The square around the fountain started to fill in with stands and mats from the first merchants drifting in for the day to ply their wares and services—more than he’d have initially expected from a little village like this, but he supposed things would be busier the same week that the Autumn Festival started. No beggars, though. He wasn’t sure whether it was because the village was too little to support them or if they just hadn’t arrived yet due to the hour.
… Or they got run off like places like Port Reyn had done. Thankfully, they weren’t going to be sticking around town long enough to find out.
The Quilava reared up and sized up the surrounding square, and found that the buildings around it were a mix of half-timbered structures punctuated by the occasional one done in the style of its proprietor’s head like a visible Colorswap Consortium shop at one end. A couple of them even had stray walls visibly fashioned from filled-in ruins like the ones on their inn’s ground floor. At the far right end of the square, there was a wooden stage being set up, with a curious platform next to it consisting of an upper floor of shacks that was held up by what looked to be a concrete pillar.
For such a humble village, the place clearly had very old roots, since there certainly weren’t ruins from human times like these back in his hometown.
Lyle and his fellows passed a street that carried off for the river and caught a brief glance of morning twilight as a raft drifted past on its surface in the distance. He then turned his head off at the Bergfried on the hill and noted that the side facing town, there was a design painted onto it in a color that looked similar to army plates: four barbs forming a cross without a center, with four shards set off at angles that made the entire thing look almost like an eight-pointed star. Some local nobles’ heraldic symbol or something like that, he guessed.
He couldn’t tell if they were supposed to be green or red, but either way, it was probably as good a sign as any that the local garrison punched above its weight. And that even without that Fähnlein of soldiers on their asses, that it really wasn’t a good idea to linger here in this village for too long.
“Ngah… keep it down, would ya?”
Lyle glanced behind him and saw Irune grimacing as Dalton and Kate lurched along after her. Guess that was a sign that those Persim Juices hadn’t done their jobs dulling their hangovers just yet.
He could already tell this was going to be a stressful morning.
“Look, we need to get out of here before things get too crowded,” the Quilava insisted. “Just hang in there a little longer, those Persim Juices you drank should help you feel better soon enough.”
He was answered by a pair of weak groans. It probably wasn’t a “yes”, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. The Quilava carried on with the rest of Team Forager for the right end of the square, all as Dalton and Kate flinched from every little noise along the way, such as the rattle of a passing wagon or the Salazzle in front of an apothecary in the background hailing a Hydreigon Carrier coming to a stop with a cheerful “Took you long enough, Harvey!” in the background. Lyle briefly considered keeping an eye on the Carrier to see if he’d be safe to approach for a ride out of town, but he quickly thought better of it. From how expensive their last flight with Hermes was, even if it wasn’t tempting fate with getting shot out of the sky again, he wasn’t sure they could afford another one. To say nothing of how the Hydreigon looked like he had a habit of getting into fights, at least if the cross-shaped scar over the side-head Lyle could see was anything to go by.
Tak! Tak! Tak!
Though the real trouble came from the sound of pounding mallets from a wooden stage being assembled at the other end of the square—probably part of the local preparations for the Autumn Festival. Lyle wasn’t sure how putting it together was making such a racket, but the effect on Dalton and Kate went about as well as expected: with the two winced after each blow like those nails were being driven into their bodies.
Lyle sighed and turned his attention to some of the nearby stalls. He keenly paid attention to the different merchants setting up shop to check if any looked particularly inattentive, or if their shops would be easier to rip off once the square had larger crowds to get lost in. Between the room, the food and drink from the bar, and the mug Kate and Dalton ruined, he was out most of his share of loot from Moonturn Square. They’d even out their money again at a quieter time, but that chunk of change they’d burned through wasn’t going to smooth itself over on its own.
“Lyle? Are you seriously casing Pokémon to rob right now?”
Lyle blinked after hearing a low, unimpressed hiss. He glanced out the corner of his eyes where sure enough, there was Irune frowning up at him with narrowed eyes.
“I mean, what did you expect us to do? Sit on the side of the road and beg?” he whispered back. “That money we parted ways with at the inn could’ve helped us buy a decent amount of gear from one of those dungeon shops the Colorswap Consortium runs in a pinch, or to pay off a Gendarme if we got pulled over for questioning.”
“But we’ve been in town for all of a night!” the Axew whispered in protest. “How can we already be stealing things?!”
Lyle fell silent and looked away for a moment. Why was this kid’s whining getting under his hide so much?
… Right, it was because something about this conversation felt like ones he’d had in the past. Like ones with his parents, not long before they threw him out. Now, like then, there had only been bad choices to pick from. Something he’d tried to explain to them. As for why stealing from others was the best of them… he supposed that in a way, the reason for doing so back then wasn’t all that different, either.
“Because we don’t have a ton of options to work with. There’s still half of Varhyde ahead in our journey. The money and supplies we have right now wouldn’t get us there without eventually having to rip someone off,” Lyle snapped. “We don’t exactly have all the time in the world to do odd jobs for random villagers, so if you have a better idea of how to square that away before Lacan catches up with us, then I’m all ear-”
“There, that should be the last one.”
Lyle glanced further down the square. There, next to one of the lanes feeding into it, was a pair of guards attaching something to a cross-shaped scaffold that stood at the center of a small mound of… Grünhäuter plates?
The Quilava blinked and his teammates slowed and gaped over, the shapes of the objects starting to fill in and grow more distinct as they neared. At the base was a set of four metal tubes with scuffs and dings leaned up against the central scaffold—cannons from the looks of it. It wasn’t unheard of for local Gendarmen or the army to set up displays in towns during the Autumn Festival to show off their armaments to reassure the public and sucker drunks and idiots into enlisting, which probably explained a thing or two about a few posters with patriotic slogans on the nearby shopfronts. Fresh ones that hadn’t gone through their first rain or moon of apathetic neglect.
But how on earth did this little town have all of this to spare from its garrison? Were they all from that Bergfried up on the hill? Lyle trailed off in his thoughts and froze after the guards at the display cleared up in his vision:
It was that same Blaziken and Nidoqueen from the gates last night, just a bit more visibly tired and irritable. The Poison-type of the pair stopped and opened a container with a steaming liquid inside, as she pulled her ears back with an annoyed grunt.
“Um Himmels willen₁, I can’t believe that the Ritter von Herbergau would bother shipping this back from Edialeigh,” the Nidoqueen fumed. “After all how much that ‘Operation Siegfried’ was talked about, you’d think that they’d have something more than this to show their home town for helping to capture a port!”
Lyle briefly blinked at the Nidoqueen's grumblings. 'Herbergau₂'? Was that supposed to be this place's name in Hightongue or something?
“I mean, they’re Ritter. You know how they are about taking loot. Not ‘honorable’ enough for them,” the Blaziken scoffed. “As if holding those scum’s ‘nobles’ for ransom is really so different.”
Lyle turned to his teammates and saw that they were similarly grimacing. A glance around quickly revealed why: they were completely out in the open for those two guards to see! Even so, the pair seemed distracted, and with the quickest way out of the square being the street next to the display… just walking past them was probably the fastest way of getting out of their line of sight.
Irune went up to his shoulder and tugged at him worriedly, leaning in and whispering in his ear.
“Lyle, what do we do here?” she asked. “Those two must remember us from last night. What if they ask us for a bribe? Or question us?”
“Nrgh… we got out from under them quick enough last night, didn’t we?” Kate asked. “It’d look more suspicious if we suddenly turned tail in front of them. Just keep calm and act natural while passing them.”
The Sneasel flinched as another pound rang out in the background and cupped her ears.
“Agh! Though let’s do it quickly,” she insisted. “This place sounds like a madhouse.”
Lyle sucked in a breath and braced himself. He didn’t like it, but even if she wasn’t in her best state of mind, it was hard to argue Kate’s point. If things blew up with these guards, at least they wouldn’t have to worry about running into the paws of others waiting around the square.
The Quilava continued along with his teammates as the Gendarmen continued putting together the display, when he realized something was strange about the Nidoqueen’s question. Why would anyone, much less Ritter, go to the trouble of sending army plates back from the frontlines overseas? Wouldn’t armor plates be needed more on battlefields than for a festival display?
He looked up as the Nidoqueen climbed down from the scaffolding, revealing a large set of armor tied to it, pitted with cuts and gouges that revealed a mail layer underneath that looked like it had been fashioned for the likes of a Kommo-o or a Dragonite. What on earth was up with that? Why display green plates that were obviously damaged like this? Wouldn’t it be bad for the villagers’ morale?
Unless it was his vision mixing things up and the plates were red ones and not from Varhyde’s army at all. The insignias on the armor on the display left no room for doubt: instead of the white Schild der Wirklichkeit one would expect on an army chest plate, there a black one that looked similar to it in design, but inverted.
A Schwert der Wunsche₃, a sigil associated with Edialeigh’s patron god. One who had cut down many a Varhyder through the ages to the point where some folktales spoke of him in dread as an ‘Endbringer’.
He sure wasn’t expecting to see anything related to him right now.
Lyle felt a paw tugging at him and saw Dalton insistently prodding at him to move along. Right, now wasn’t a good time to get distracted. Lyle continued on with his teammates and tried to keep themselves inconspicuous. The entire time, Irune’s attention kept drifting over to the trophy pile.
The guards were now slipping scarves about the scaffold’s crossbars, ones fashioned from black cloth with blue and gold horizontal bands—ones that stood out much like bolts of lightning against a night sky. A few of them, including the one about the armor on the crossbars, had what looked like a red crystal at the top. Perhaps they were the Rothäuter equivalent of Stabsoffizier blues?
“They could’ve at least shipped one or two of them back so that way the villagers could chuck Tamato Berries at them or something, but no... that’s too good for their little hometown in Austor Provinz,” the Nidoqueen scoffed. “Or that ‘mon from the Hofstaat who was supposed to have been freed from captivity during that campaign! You’d think someone that high up in the nobility would be getting a hero’s welcome around the realm, but there’s just been silence after the initial news.”
“Tch, isn’t that just a rumor, Zieste?” the Blaziken asked. “Since the only reason I could think of for the court keeping something like that quiet would be if the ‘mon turned collaborator during captivity in a way that couldn’t be covered up. Or died on the trip back across the sea. Or both, really.”
“Look, I know what I heard, Tephros,” the Nidoqueen shot back. “Even if the way all the stories abruptly stopped was a little weird. At first I thought that they’d found the late Queen’s bones out there or something like that! Some of the stories were saying that it involved a potential heir!”
Lyle’s ears flickered briefly at the mention and he cast a sidelong glance at the pair of guards, dutifully making sure the two weren’t looking. Fortunately, they seemed more distracted with whatever rumors they’d been hearing about and weren’t paying particularly close attention away from the scaffold.
“You really should pay less attention to the rumor mill, Zieste,” the Blaziken scoffed. “Why would the King worry so much about an heir of all things considering the stories about the one he’s already got…?”
The Quilava’s nose wrinkled as he neared the end of the pile when he noticed a strange, metallic smell that made him tense up and followed Irune’s gaze at the trophy pile from the corner of his eye. A number of the plates in the mound were visibly damaged, and a couple sported dark stains against their fabric.
It was as good a sign as any that he was smelling blood.
Lyle shuddered briefly and darted down the alleyway with his companions. After casting a quick glance back to make sure he wasn’t being followed, he paused to catch his breath and looked back at Kate and Dalton as they nursed their splitting headaches.
“Argh… so what’s your brilliant plan now?” the Sneasel demanded. “How are we supposed to get loot or a ride if we’re just hiding in the shadows the entire time?”
Lyle propped himself onto his hindlegs and studied the surrounding alleyway, when a loud rattle at the far end revealed a cart pulled by a Dubwool passing. Right, Pullers in a hurry often tried to bypass marketplaces as they started to fill up. Assuming the four of them could get sneak past their attendants or come across a Puller that went without one, such Pokémon were the types who wouldn’t notice things missing from their wagons or carts right away.
“... We’ll try scouting the fringes of this marketplace for marks,” the Fire-type said. “I doubt those two chuckleheads from last night are the only guards in the square. They didn’t seem to recognize us, but I don’t want to leave anything to chance.”
The Quilava shook his head, and started slipping off for the side street as settled up against the corner to steal glances around it.
“The fewer of their friends that recognize us before we start stirring up trouble, the better.”
About an hour later, the Persim Juices from the inn had done their work and helped Kate and Dalton get over their hangovers enough to part an inattentive Eiscue from her coin purse, and a few Oran Berries off a passing wagon.
Well, mostly anyways. With the way they were still flinching from the loud, exasperated growls and clatter of wagon wheels slowing to a stop from just outside the back alley they were hiding in, they weren’t fully back to normal just yet.
“For gods’ sake, Ardun, I told you not to graze along the road after dark! This is what happens when you don’t see what you’re eating!”
Lyle motioned for his teammates to follow him, and they made their way up to a small rubbish heap wedged up against a wall under the shade of trees that towered over the surrounding buildings. Just past it, they could see the occasional fall leaves drifting to earth, along with their would-be marks standing next to a small, low-slung shack without windows: a fuming Bewear next to a wagon with a canvas canopy, who was unhitching a visibly ill-looking Bastiodon who was holding his tail curled in towards his body and fighting back a gag.
“L-Lay off me, Gloria!” the dinosaur whined. “I had to dip into my food budget this month to cover that axle that broke! I had to eat something!”
A quick look past the two revealed the shack had an open doorway with a cloth cut into strips covering it and a bundle of herbs hung over its entrance… Oh. So that was why the Bastiodon was in such a rush to be unhitched.
Lyle didn’t expect himself to have much sympathy for a ‘mon that looked just like the snarling Wilders they’d fought off in Primordial Woods yesterday, but the Bastiodon’s remark about having to forage to get by still made him wince. He himself had gotten sick from having to scrounge for scraps to eat in the past in particularly lean seasons, and gods were those miserable experiences. The Quilava shook his head and tried not to think too hard about the Bastiodon’s troubles, when he noticed Dalton giving him a wary look at him.
“... Are you sure we should be stealing from them, Lyle?” he asked. “They sound like they’re a bit tight on money. We’d probably get more stealing from a mark who’s better off and they’d be able to afford the hit better, too.”
Lyle hesitated briefly, when his eyes turned back at the Bewear and the Bastiodon, and then at their wagon. With how shabby it looked, the two really weren’t doing well, especially the Bastiodon. Why, in his present state, the Steel-type looked like he was struggling not to paint the path with those plants he’d eaten.
“Look, whatever you ate couldn’t have been that bad, since you’re still alive,” the Bewear sighed. “Just get it out of your system and we’ll take it easy for a bit. I just hope you didn’t eat something like buttercups since otherwise that’s going to be a real mess afterwards.”
The Steel-type let out a whimpering “B-Buttercups?” when he flinched and curled in on his stomach. The Bastiodon’s eyes widened, before he hurriedly limped past the entrance. Lyle was thankful that he couldn’t hear what was going on past the doorway, or smell it for that matter. There were only so many ways that Puller was going to get his last meal out of his body, and thinking too hard about any of them made his own empty stomach feel queasy.
He and his teammates watched and waited for an opening to sneak past the Bewear guard. The Normal-type fortunately was more preoccupied with keeping an eye on the low-slung shack. She started to fidget her tail impatiently, and when she began to steal glances around her surroundings, Lyle turned his head back to his teammates.
“... I think we can let ‘em off easy,” he insisted. “We’ll just take the Bewear’s spare gear and move on.”
Kate rolled her eyes with a grumbling “ugh, fine” at his insistence, while Irune was still frowning at him. The Quilava pinned his ears back, briefly scowling at the Axew before turning his attention back to the wagon and keenly watching the Bewear.
“Irune, I get that you’d prefer we dealt with this some other way, but we can’t afford to be picky right now. We’re running low on money and supplies for our journey and we’re not exactly close to the end of it,” Lyle insisted. “If you have a better idea of how to handle things and get out of town without leaving a trail behind for Lacan to pick up, speak up or shut up.”
Irune faltered and visibly hesitated after the demand. He doubted he’d get her to openly agree with things, but he was pretty sure he’d gotten his point across. Lyle let out a small harrumph in reply, before diverting his attention back to the wagon and its guarding Bewear.
“Thought so,” he scoffed. “Besides, losing a few Seeds and Wands shouldn’t keep those two from being able to pull stuff around. They’re clearly not pushovers, and it’s better that we put that gear to use against Wilders or Hunters in a Mystery Dungeon than have them use them against other ‘mons like us.”
That… was less reassuring than it’d sounded in his head, but it’d have to do. Lyle learned long ago that it didn’t do any good to dwell on his marks. Most of the time, it just put butterflies in his stomach or threw himself off from grabbing what he needed and getting out quickly.
There would be time to feel guilty about things later. After they were in less dire straits.
Lyle’s ears flicked at the sound of an annoyed huff, and he looked up right as the Bewear‘s patience wore out while standing guard over the wagon. The Normal-type scanned her surroundings for a moment, before she drifted past the shack’s doorway herself. At once, Lyle motioned to his companions and darted across the shaded street, jumping up into the wagon with a Quick Attack to zip him along. He came to a stop amid crates with chalky powder dribbling out of small holes. Finished Gummi Mix from the smell of things. If the Foehn Gang or the Terra Tyrants were still around, it’d have been decent loot to fence with how quickly it’d sell with no questions asked…
No, it was best not to think about such things. He needed to find whatever chest two kept their battle gear in. A glance back revealed Kate clambering up as Dalton came over and eyed the lip of the wagon before stopping. The Heliolisk let his eyes drift down to his splinted arm and then shook his head and spoke up with an uneasy mutter.
“Gods, did this injury come at a bad time,” he said.
“Oi, it’s not as if you can’t do anything right now,” Kate piped. “We need someone to let us know when those two are coming back. A broken arm shouldn’t keep you from acting as a lookout.”
Dalton hesitated and sighed before he stepped aside from the tailgate. Lyle quirked a brow, when he saw a pair of small hands at the top and heard Irune grunt and scrape against the wood of the wagon as she tried to clamber aboard.
Everyone froze briefly from the noise before Dalton hurriedly stepped in and helped her over the tailgate with his good arm. Guess Irune had come around to his argument earlier. As Irune steadied herself in the wagon, the faint scent of Oran berries that led him and his teammates towards a narrow but deep gap between the crates where the canvas wasn’t fully attached. There, on the left, was a small red chest with a padlock over it. Too poorly hidden to be a cashbox, so it must’ve been where the Puller and his bodyguard kept their stuff.
He looked down at the padlock and held it in his paws, before turning to Kate and then to Irune. They probably had a way of making the metal brittle enough to be broken open, but…
“Irune, I don’t suppose your tusks can take apart a lock, can they?” the Quilava asked. He was met by an unamused stare from her and Kate, which prompted him to fold his ears back with a disappointed sigh..
“... Right, guess I should’ve expected as much,” he said. “If Alvin was still here, I’d just ask him to break it after Kate and I made the metal brittle… but…”
Lyle trailed off mid-sentence as his mind drifted back to his Marowak companion and him getting beaten by the guards in Moonturn Square. The Quilava hung his head and a sinking feeling came over the pit of his stomach. Why on earth did he think about that right now? The stoat drooped briefly as thoughts of the way they’d last parted kept lingering. Along with guilty wonderings of if Irune was right and there was something they could’ve done for him…
“And make a racket for anyone on the street to hear? Nah, we’ve got a better way of getting through a cheap lock like that.”
Lyle looked past his shoulder as Kate shuffled up, with her right claw pulling a metal spike from her satchel. An Iron Thorn? But how was that supposed to help? The Sneasel crouched and slid the tip of the spike into the padlock’s opening, as Lyle and Irune both gaped and blinked at her.
“Wait, what are you doing with the lock?” Irune asked.
“Picking it, obviously,” the Sneasel replied.
Lyle quirked an ear. He’d heard of Kate getting out of some improbable situations when they were back in the Foehn Gang together, like the time she’d managed to somehow smooth talk a haul of seized loot out of a garrison of Gendarmen, but this was definitely new. It also seemed to catch Dalton off-guard from his end of the wagon, as he poked his head past the tailgate and blinked at the Sneasel.
“You never mentioned that you knew how to pick locks,” he said. “When did you learn to do that?”
“Oh come on, it’s not that rare of a skill among Outlaws, is it? I learned how to do it about a year after I joined the Mistral Marauders,” she said. “I wouldn’t call myself an expert lockpick, but you don’t need to be one for a padlock like this. Most ones flimsy enough to get past by making their metal brittle are usually cheap pieces of crap that have a single pin keeping the entire lock in place. Stick something narrow and hard in the keyhole and push it up…”
A soft click rang out as the lock suddenly jolted open. Lyle stared blankly as Irune blinked incredulously, watching slack-jawed as the Sneasel pulled the lock off with a quiet smirk.
“And it’ll open up for you quietly,” she said. “With nobody the wiser.”
He’d have to keep Kate’s skill in mind for the future, but for now, they had other priorities to take care of: like getting their loot and getting out before that Bewear came back.
Lyle pushed the chest open and at once was greeted by a small bundle of Oran Berries along with various Orbs and Seeds inside. Lyle and his teammates hurriedly cleared out the chest by shoveling whatever they could grab into their bags to sort out later, Irune more hesitantly than either him or Kate. After clearing out what they could, Kate quietly clamped the chest shut and slipped the padlock back over it.
Good enough, they could take stock of what they’d nabbed in a safer place.
The three turned for the tailgate and hurriedly slunk over. Right at the tailgate’s lip, Lyle stiffened up at the sound of approaching chatter and fallen leaves being crunched underfoot as Dalton’s eyes widened from past the wagon. The Heliolisk hurriedly ducked underneath the wagon as he audibly fought back a yelp.
Lyle felt a chill run down his pelt and startled embers flickered from his vents. The message was clear: they weren’t alone right now.
Kate beelined for the right corner by the tailgate and ducked up behind it while Lyle pulled Irune in by the left. None of them dared to so much as breathe, as they saw the Bastiodon and Bewear return with a low grumble.
“Well, at least now we know you that didn’t eat buttercups,” the Bewear sighed. “Took you long enough. I was starting to think you were going to spend all day in there!”
“Urgh… like we’ve never run unexpectedly late because of you before,” the Bastiodon groaned. “Look, let’s just see if that apothecary in the square has anything that’ll help me feel less crap and hit the road again.”
Lyle blanched and struggled to fight back fire from his vents. These two were already going to leave? But why? And how were they supposed to get off the wagon without either of them noticing? The Bewear’s shadow along with the one of the Bastiodon’s head crest through the wagon’s canvas stopped and turned around as the Normal-type seemed to also be taken aback by the Puller’s proposition, as the Bewear’s folded her arms and let out a sharp harrumph.
“Ardun, you’ve got food poisoning right now. Are you even going to be able to make it past the first road marker without needing to pull over again?” the Bewear asked. “We should rest while we’re here. We can still make up the time if we stick to a quicker pace after you’re feeling a bit better.”
Lyle blinked at the pair’s conversation. Now that he thought of it, it did seem a bit weird that a ‘mon that sounded as sick as the Bastiodon did would be so eager to leave. But even through the canvas, something about the dinosaur’s gait seemed tense and on-edge. The silhouette of the Puller’s head turned about uneasily, before the Steel-type’s shadow leaned in on the Bewear’s and began to speak up in a low tone.
“Because fall levies for the army have been going out,” the Bastiodon said. “Some of the Carriers at our last stop were saying that a Fähnlein had been going from town to town out in the northeast.”
… Wait a minute, Fähnlein in the northeast…? That had to be the same one that shot them down! So they did manage to put some distance between Lacan and themselves!
Lyle caught himself and flicked his ears with a puzzled frown. Something wasn’t adding up here. If the Bastiodon had been hearing rumors of Lacan and his troops, why was he this worried when they were still so far out?
“Ardun, that’s not even in this Provinz-” the Bewear started, only to pause and breathe in sharply with a frustrated sigh. “Look, did any of the stories you heard about this Fähnlein involve them going around and pressing conscripts?”
A pause followed, along with the sound of heavy feet pawing at the dirt.
“Well… no…”
“So then why are you wetting yourself like a little hatchling over them?” the Bewear demanded.
Lyle turned his attention to the back of the wagon as a silence hung in the air. If they could just get out quietly while the two were distracted… The Quilava looked over to Kate as she motioned with her paws and hopped the tailgate, coming to a stop on the ground.
“This is as good a sign as any that we should get lost,” the Sneasel whispered. “Come on, let’s get-”
“If the army was going to spring a surprise levy on a town, they wouldn’t send an entire Fähnlein for it,” the Bewear insisted. “Wouldn’t they logically just send a few soldiers and have the local guards do the dirty work of handing them out?”
“Because with the stories I’ve heard coming off the frontline this year, I don’t want to take any chances,” the Bastiodon insisted. “Especially when those Carriers said that they spotted that Fähnlein around Toya Square just yesterday.”
Lyle stiffened up and blinked. Maybe getting shot out of the sky had been a blessing in disguise. If Hermes made it to Toya Square, Lacan and his soldiers would’ve caught up later that day and they’d have to try and outrun him through the countryside!
“... Okay, that’s quite a jump in a single day, but that’s still not exactly close to us,” the Bewear murmured. “Where exactly are you going with this?”
“I overheard a few of the local Gendarmen say that strange fliers from the army came in overnight from Toya Square before moving on in a hurry,” he insisted. “They’re probably scouts or something, and that means that Fähnlein is planning on coming this way.”
Lyle felt startled fire start to simmer in his vents and looked over at his teammates. Kate had visibly stiffened up and Irune’s eyes had shrunk to startled pins. Those soldiers couldn’t possibly have known that they’d go this way from Primordial Woods! How on earth could they have possibly expected that?!
… Except, they themselves were only here because of a map of Mystery Dungeons in that cheap handbook they stole. If the army had sent hundreds of soldiers after a single Axew, what were the odds they’d have been too cheap to give Lacan or any of his underlings similar maps of their own?
Lyle felt his breaths come shorter and shallower as he subconsciously stole glances for the back of the wagon. Screw waiting until the afternoon, they needed to get out of this town. For all he knew those ‘scouts’ were already going around asking questions like that Corvisquire did back in Moonturn Square!
“H-Huh?! B-But how would Lacan-?!”
Lyle heard the Pokémon outside the wagon jolt back with a start and watched as the shadows through the canvas abruptly shrank and moved. Irune reflexively clamped her mouth shut and froze as she realized the two’d overheard her, but the damage was done. In a flash, the Bastiodon poked his head in, where there was a brief moment of surprise before he narrowed his eyes into a harsh glare.
“Hey! What do you three think you’re doing in there?!”
Götterblut, just what they needed now of all times.
Author’s Notes:
Words and Phrases:
1. Um Himmels willen - Interjection expressing surprise, shock, or disbelief. In this context, usage is most analogous to “For crying out loud!”, lit. “For heaven’s will!”
2. Herbergau - "Errberk Village", derived by phonetic corruption. A more faithful semantic translation would be "Hostel Village (by a River)"
3. Schwert der Wunsche - "Sword of Wishes/Desires"
Teaser Text:
Toya Square, 18. Herbstmond, 1027 n. d. B.
To whom it may concern,
On behalf of Graf Lacan von Wellenhafen and His Majesty King Siegmund von Wahrheit, I wish to solicit your aid in searching for Pokemon of interest for His Majesty and his armed forces. Their descriptions, last known whereabouts, and known aliases have been included with the attached wanted posters. See to it that they are copied and distributed as soon as possible.
Apprehend anyone who matches the included descriptions alive, in particular theᵃ Axew. That point cannot be stressed enough, since the balance of victory for the army’s present campaigns against the Kingdom of Edialeigh potentially hinges on her well-being, with potentially existential implications for the realm were something to happen to her.
As such Graf von Wellenhafen and His Majesty expect these solicitations to be acted on accordingly to the utmost of your abilities. The treasury of His Majesty will make whole any bounties that need to be paid, including for bounties paid out for cases of mistaken identity. For our present mission, it would be less injurious to incur such public embarrassments and quietly make restitution later than to risk these Pokemon slipping away from your Gendarmen second-guessing themselves.
I wish I could be more frank about our circumstances, but duty compels me to remain circumspect. Just know that for your ranks, apprehending these four could be the most important task they have ever received.
Important enough that it could determine the future of this land that we call ‘Varhyde’.
- Urgent dispatch from Ritterin von Herbergau, Sophia Krarmors relayed to the Grafschaft Sheriffs of Austorᵇ Provinz
a. In official German-language media, 'das' is always used as the definite article for Pokémon. Here, the feminine definite article 'die' is used to imply the subject's gender.
b. Derived by corruption and truncation. In a more faithful semantic translation, this would be something along the lines of "East Gate Steppe / Prairie"
