Pokémon Like a Dragon

[K_S]

Review
Chapter 3 a dragons linage

Ohh deathnoodles galore here in draconic and homely poison form no less. If you can't tell i'm a nerd for snakes... all things considered its not too surprising... and these two are adorable.

The pair of parents to be are so real as first time rearers. They're staggering over cultural norms (arboks confessed "we hatch and ditch" vs 'nair's wordless horror at the idea and wrangling with some classism of if the kid's "dragon enough".) Wild vs tamed 'mon world views and them trying to assimulate old life norms/culture verses the more quixotic seeming h7man world...

And, you know, more mundane first time jitters.

Kinda surprised they weren't set up with thier trainer to do a pre parenting to ween/foster a youngling to get some pracitce. Guess the eggbert was a surprise.

I imagine if you had to have a friendship mechanic between mon before breeding them it'd deture so much egg farming. On a less squick note, them both freaking out over the bundle of scales in the incubator is hilarious.

This dragonnair's got plenty of reason to shake off thier home cultures norms (being left for dead by ones neighbors will do that as well as really encourage you to move) but you show it still is a struggle. Ages later there's still some bad tape

Though Nair seems to have found the mute button occasionally it still plays in thier head.

Love how Nair pulls a Wheatly ("i know hacking!" And boinks head into ptoblem until it opens.) And gets it opens in perfect time for them to literally get egg (shell) in thier face.

Imagining the freaked out baby noodle hanging from "dadas" nose was worth a chuckle.. they should be happy thier trainer isn't there, or thier first encounter of the mini scaly kind would of been enshrined on the internet, or at least thuer trainers personal phone for future replaying.

So i did some digging and little wonder boyh parwnts were freaking out. Vua egg moves and breeding ekans born of dragonite/nair parents tend to get the following skill

"Intimidate"

And thier egg move a ekans can get fr9m a dragon is "scary face".

so its little wonder both mon mom and dad weren't hyperventalating post hatching with those moves ect in the cards..

 

[K_S]

Review chapter 4
A dragons savior

Lovely begining thought train. To eat or not to eat... ones hiding spot... that is the question...

Due to biological differences i suspect all yhe dark and gloomy "stormy night" starts to a stereotypical horror film would be downright homey to our pov.

But then snakes... funnily enough considering my last tale i read. And pne with my favorite design to boot.

The convinece of regular rain and looming greenery made me think the setting might be a rainforest... but the island makes sense too...

I suspect the escape attempt is going to be exciting. Between a lurking preditor and our p.o.v.s lack of stanima,speed, and what i assume is an insane metabolism.

likely small size of our p.o.v. nonewithstanding, bug types in the mon world are horryfying. I'm sure our slimey friend would agree, hopefully he doesnt start a forest fire with his emergency fireburst.

Also, its come up several tines, but whats the diference between dragon fire and fire fire? Besides color i mean.

Ah the classic tired and true, let gravity take over. I'm surprused they didnt clonk themselves out to be honest...

I'm surprised they didnt spit out a last dragon fire harrah to be honest. Granted good thing they didnt, thier savior might of been singed... but the sudden bounce/crush to the attack, and the being rising almost slinky like above after the move, and the colors spied (as well as the theme) make me think this is an alola executor?

Kinda getting a ditzy benign treebeard vibe off of the ally shrub.

Did the descending death via pincer not tip our plant off or...

I wonder if straining to look up us going to cause our p.o.v.bloodflow problems... aka to pass out... or leave thier sense behind...

Well theyre more composed then expected. Brownie points for that...but how arethey going to slime up that cliff to get back to thier peers?

Well i supose thats a post nap problem.

Or considering the clutch of slimey mon is right there... maybe not so much. Huh wild mon being encouragd to be kind. Wonder how far that impulse will spread among our p.o.v.s clan after his story is done?

 

[K_S]

Review
Dragons valor

You know its a fun fanon misconception that x mon is fearless. Tales like this are good reminders that even the scary intimidating ones started as balls of fluff. Or in this ones case, a widdle fire newt.

Between typing and Cynthia i respect Char's fear of garchomp. To quote jaiden animations "That thing was dreamed up by satan, and even he fears what it can do."

Hopping ahead a bit... It seems a bit evil that the "winning" trainer is counting what looks like a full fledged panic attack as a notch on the win score. Just saying...

The fight from our p.o.v. fire lizard seems an exercise in regret. Aka foot in mouth. And considering a 'zard's physiology thats some impressive yoga in play.

Snorts. Garchomps all formal and stern while the firebug is chanting "oh crap, bit off more then i can chew, ah!" I'm surprised they dont go airborn and bolt but its been a pretty short time since evolving... And that oh so justified panic...

So dragonfire mimics burns for firetypes? I'd wager they cringe in sympathy pain the next time they do a fireblast.

Well if battling doesn't become our p.o.v. charizards thing, i guess choir is an option, or perhaps opera?

Love how the charizard is so confident that thier trainer can save them from everything. It shows a sweet young side to them. And i can imagine the trainer having to teach thier char' in all its evolutions to mind thier tail during that snuggle and hide menuver least that gesture lead to accidental burns, loss of pants, and forest fires.

To counter garchomp i would say, "one aware of my chart type/meta" but i suspect my type is sassy where this soul is probably timid.


Winces. Stage fright to the point of puking in public... poor thing that had to have sucked. Still i suspect all this self flagulation is totally unwarented. Thier trainer stuck.with them through that and with more going forward and seems utterly supportive... but i dont think 'zard sees that yet.

Winter wonderland it is not. Guess Gar's acting in accordence to type chart and thier trainer is... not a snow person? Luckily for charizard them and thier trainer are set to stay safely warm if they travel close enough... something that both think of and act on. Though how both trainers didnt think to pack for weather changes is amusing me to no end...

Also by Garchomp's tone you think they were saying that "there are swarms of frosslass and articuno out there!"

Cue 'Zard bracing themselves and getting... an antagonistic snow flake... and being quietly amused at Gar's fear. Shame they don't rematch, a snowball might tip the battle charizards way....

Well thanks for the fun read. Til next time.]

 

[Tango]

Hi there, I'm here to take CuteBunnyGirl's place for a catnip review for you, Spiteful!

Apologies if this is coming in a bit late. My offer to help Bunny came late just yesterday evening.

I had agreed to help her out here before I even knew who she was supposed to review and i am pleasantly surprised to see it is you!

This will be a great opportunity for me to show you the quality I can put in for reviews! I hope you enjoy!

Spoiler: Line by Line Reaction

Author's Note: Special thanks to @Venia Silente and @CinderArts for beta reading this one-shot, and to @Cresselia92 for the story art.

Credit where credit it due. I love seeing things like this from an author. It shows a lack of selfishness as a first impression.

---

That's so cool you have art for just a drabble. I'm a bit envious. Certainly an interesting bit of art!

A Guarding Dragon​

Guarding what from what, I wonder?

---

Turffield had always been a quiet town, its rhythms dictated by the surrounding farms and their harvests.

Nice opening line here! I don't think I have read anything quite like it. Very atmospherical!

While life had taken a quicker pace in the town itself, especially after the local stadium was built, its surroundings remained as quiet and bucolic as ever.

A stadium? I sense battle as a probable plot point here!

The fact that everything else around is so quiet really helps to zero in on this stadium being THE thing to do in this town. Nice way of highlighting it's importance without directly stating it!

And so it was for you that day, on the same old dirt lane, next to the same old apple orchard, all under the same old sky under the drifting clouds.

Nice way to describe peace here. I loved the bit with the drifting clouds.

You even stood guard on the same old stand put out for harvest time: a shabby table with a raised ledge at its deep end that you sat on, overlooking cardboard cartons resting at an angle that were stocked with the same red apples that grew year in and year out.

Ah, so our character is the guardian of the apples! Makes sense with the art! I also think it's interesting how you describe the main character as 'you'. You are pulling me into the story with this simple wording tactic. It's pretty cool!

Clearly this 'guardian of the apples' is not new to apple-guarding.

They were set out next to the same old sign and the same old chipped cup offering them up for sale.

Ok, I have to admit I am confused on the purpose of the chipped cup here. Is it like a tip jar or the place customers put money?

Three for the price of one of those ‘soda pops’ that were all the rage.

Soda as currency?! Now I'm wondering if they use money.

Thinking about it more, I think you are saying that for the price of one soda, you could pay the same amount of money to purchase 3 apples. So they don't have a system of bartering without any money in this town. Honestly I'm ok with either detail. Bartering would be really nifty as a concept though.

Clink.

Nice use of italics for a sound effect! I knew what you were doing right away here!

Along with the same clatter of metal against porcelain that jolts you to attention. You raise your eyes briefly from your disguise and see a gray-haired woman dropping some spare change into it before grabbing at one of the apples on the shelf.

The line right after clink but before the next one reads oddly to me. Like it overlaps from the idea of the sound effect and almost seems like the end of the sentence would read better with a comma instead of a period.

Recommendation:
"Clink.

The clatter of metal against porcelain jolts you to attention. You raise your eyes briefly..."

If that recommendation changes the meaning of what you are trying to say, then I feel like it needs some kind of re-wording. As it currently stands, trying to figure out what it is saying is distracting to me. Maybe that is a 'me' problem, but if its like that for me, I would guess it's like that for others potentially too.

Ok, now that I read the second sentence, I can see it's from multiple coins hitting the jar. So, while it certainly clarifies what is happening, it didn't prevent me from tripping myself up trying to read the prior sentence.

As for the content, this is pretty nifty. The guardian is disguised and keeping watch for potential thieves it seems. Also, given the art, I'm pretty sure the guardian is hiding in a red egg that was placed among the apples.

You let your gaze linger jealously on her for a moment, only to turn away and slink back into your cover as the sound of footsteps shuffles off.

Jealously? Is the guardian employed to keep watch but is paid such a small amount of money that they can't afford apples? Is this slave labor going on here? Is the guardian too young to be able to properly digest apples and thus cannot eat them? Why the jealousy?

Questions within questions....

Just another normal sale, and from one of the same old customers to this orchard. One that’d probably been giving business for quite a while.

So the guardian isn't sure how often this customer buys from them. It seems there are many customers that come by the stand for apples.

The family that ran this orchard had set aside a small portion of their stock every growing season for travelers for years, perhaps for centuries.

So they give out apples as charity to travelers? That's a sweet gesture. I like this family.

If the stories told by your mentor who used to keep watch for the orchard were to be believed, they’d kept this practice alive since the times when humans wore metal armor and fought with blades much as Sirfetch’d do.

This gives a nice sense of depth and history.

I like how this drabble seems to take its time with set up. It may have a small word count being what it is, but it seems to say that it's not about the word count, but the vibe.

Times that even a dragon would find to be from a distant, unrecognizable era.

Further enhancement of the vibe. Very nice.

Fortunately, the process by which the orchard sold off the part of its stock you watched over was simple to understand: take an apple from the hoard of red fruits set out, and then add some change to the hoard of coins in the cup. A gesture of goodwill and trust to those passers-by.

Good to know!

“Oi, look, there’s free food just lying around there.”

Just from this ONE line, I can tell this person is like a Tauros in a china shop.

Except, every year, there were always a handful of travelers that would abuse that trust, and you were pretty sure you could see a few more of their ilk right now from your hiding place: a stocky young man and a gangly girl. The pair were both dressed in black with ridiculous pink hair and face paint.

So now we will get to see the guardian in action presumably.

The pair certainly seems hoodlum enough!

That was why you were here: to serve as the orchard’s trusted guardian over its little hoard of fruit and coins. The loutish humans hadn’t noticed you yet, and you keep a careful, watchful eye over them as the man reaches for one of the apples and bite into it much to his partner’s skepticism.

So they are going to take food for free and not even properly appreciate it...

Your mentor told you stories in the past of how sometimes it was best to take a gentler approach with passersby who would abuse the trust of the orchard. When they were needy or desperate, or when they’d simply failed to read the sign. Circumstances that merited a stern but patient warning, or sometimes even a blind eye in understanding.

Aww this was a nice tidbit to hear. Some really great detail in here. They are careful to protect the feelings of others.

“Aren’t you supposed to pay for that first, bruv?”

“I don’t see anyone actually bothering to sell them. And someone just left this money lying around! Finders keepers!”

They done messed up now!

Though from the man’s words and way he was reaching for the coin-hoard in the cup, a gentle approach would clearly not do. You uncoil yourself from your hiding place, a larger apple hiding in plain sight on the raised shelf at the top of the stand, and stretch your neck out to telegraph your warning.

The art was clearly an egg. I feel lied to!

Hiding in a big apple though? Wouldn't that make people try to take that one instead? Maybe it should look like it has a deformity or something so people don't try to touch it.

Even now, the guardian warns them.

“Wait, why does it suddenly smell like flowers right now?”

The humans turn and look up at you, with your disguise revealed. You uncoil your body and spread your wings, fanning them wide to make yourself look bigger and remind the pair that even if it was a modest dragon hoard, that it was yours, and that they stole from it at their own peril.

Ah that makes sense now! The jealousy is that the guardian is a dragon and it considers the apples its treasure hoard! Nice!

To make your message clear, you raise your voice and let out the fiercest roar you could muster…

Which judging from the look on the man’s face, still needs a bit of work to make it sound more imposing.

Ah the guardian is too young to be taken very seriously it seems!

“Ah, it’s just a Flapple,” he scoffed. “What, come here to help yourself to some apples, too?”

A pokemon that is like an apple I guess? I am unfamiliar with it...

*looks up wiki*

OH from the art, I thought the green part was supposed to look like a horn! I think its supposed to look like a leaf which would make it look like an apple and NOT an egg! That makes sense now!

You narrow your eyes and feel bile build up at the back of your throat after seeing the man pick up the cup. You’d given him fair warning, now it was time to show this would-be thief that you meant business. You spit up a spray of fluid at his coat, which sizzles against the fabric, bubbling up as the acid eats away at its surface. That gets your message across, and the humans’ arrogance quickly evaporates as their eyes shoot wide and they recoil with startled yelps.

I can understand this. Flapple was not in the wrong here.

“Ack! Blimey!”

“I told you you were supposed to pay for that!” the woman cried. “Let’s get out of here!”

The man hurriedly throws aside his jacket as your acid burns holes into it and the pair take off running down the path, the man dropping his purloined apple along the way. Good riddance, really.

Yeah... dude had it coming.

You make your way down from your perch and right the cup and the coin-hoard, carefully returning the loose coins that came out. Then you turn your attention to the jacket and tug at it to move it off the path. No sense in leaving it lying around to make other travelers unsafe and scare them off.

Aww, so dutiful! Doesn't like its hoard being diminished, but is a faithful guardian!

You bite down on a corner and pull it away onto the other side of the road, when you hear a jingling noise. A quick nose into a pocket and search with your claws turns up some coins in it.

Money? But what shall be done with it?

Enough to have bought at least three of the stand’s apples had the man just been honest.

Not too shocked here.

You take the coins and add them to the cup, before taking the bitten apple the loutish man abandoned and returning to your perch. For whatever reason, humans had a habit of casting aside perfectly good apples after someone else gave even the littlest of bites to them, but that was hardly a loss for you.

A fitting place for the coins at this point.

Ah, and now Flapple gets to eat the remainder of the apple!

It was back to the same old quiet, watching over the same old stand on the same old lane outside of Turffield. Except now you had a snack as you waited for the next traveler to come by.

And the circle was complete. Ready for the next traveler to arrive. Who is to say how far the family tradition would continue? One thing is certain, the apples of the stand would continue to be guarded all the days of your life in this quiet and timeless land.

All under the same old sky.

Under the drifting clouds...

Spoiler: Original Drabble Reaction

---

Original Drabble:

Spoiler: "Flapple"

Charizard​	Cute but Ferocious​	Flapple​
Dragons' Lineage​	Goomy​	A Dragon Someday​
Ekans​	Flightless​	Exeggutor​

Turffield had always been a quiet, humble town, with its rhythms dictated by the growth and harvests of the nurturing bowl of its many terraced farming fields. While life had taken a quicker pace in the town itself, especially after the construction of its stadium, its surroundings remained as quiet and bucolic as ever. And so it was for you that day, on the same old dirt lane, next to the same old apple orchard all under the same old sky under the drifting clouds.

There was even the same old stand that got put out at around harvest time, stocked with the same red apples that grew year in and year out next to the same old sign and chipped cup offering them up for sale. Three for the price of one of those ‘soda pops’ that were all the rage.

The family that ran this orchard had set aside a small portion of their stock every growing season for travelers for years, perhaps for centuries if the stories you’d heard passed down of this field being around back in the times when humans wore metal armor and fought much as a Sirfetch’d might with sword and shield were to be believed. It was a simple enough process, take a piece of the hoard of apples set out, add a piece to the hoard of coins in the cup. A gesture of goodwill and trust to those passers-by.

“Oi, look, there’s free food just lying around there.”

Except, every year, there were always a handful of travelers that would abuse that trust, including the pair of louts in black with ridiculous pink hair and face paint that you could see from your hiding place: a stocky young man, and a gangly girl. That’s why you were there: to serve as the trusted guardian of the little hoard of fruit and coins. The pair hadn’t noticed you yet, and you kept a careful, watchful eye over them as the man reached for one of the apples and bit into it much to his partner’s skepticism.

Your mentor had told you stories of how sometimes it was best to take a gentler approach with ones who would abuse the trust of the orchard. When they were needy or desperate, or when they’d failed to read the sign. Circumstances that merited a patient warning, or sometimes a blind eye in understanding.

“Aren’t you supposed to pay for that first, bruv?”

“I don’t see anyone actually bothering to sell them. And someone just left this money lying around! Finders keepers!”

Though from the way that the man was reaching for the coin-hoard in the cup, a gentle approach would clearly not do. You uncoiled yourself from your hiding place, a larger apple hiding in plain sight on the top of the stand, and stretched your neck out to telegraph your warning.

“Wait, why does it suddenly smell like flowers right now?”

The humans turned and looked up at you, with your disguise revealed, you uncoiled your body and spread your wings with the fiercest roar you could muster…

Judging from the look on the man’s face, you still needed to work a bit on making it sound threatening.

“Ah, it’s just a Flapple,” he scoffed. “What, come here to help yourself to some apples, too?”

You narrowed your eyes and felt bile built up at the back of your throat after seeing the man pick up the cup. You’d given him fair warning, now it was time to show this would-be thief that you meant business. You spat up a spray of fluid at his coat, which made a sizzling noise as it bubbled up from acid eating away at it as the humans’ eyes shot wide.

“Ack! Blimey!”

“I told you you were supposed to pay for that!” the woman cried. “Let’s get out of here!”

The man hurriedly threw aside his jacket as your acid bored holes into it and the pair took off running down the path, the man dropping his purloined apple along the way. Good riddance, really. You righted the cup and the coin-hoard, carefully returning the loose coins that came out. Then you turned your attention to the jacket and tugged at it to move it off the path. No sense in scaring away other travelers with it. You bit down on a corner and tugged it away onto the other side of the road, when you heard a jingling noise. A quick search of a pocket revealed some coins in it. Enough to have bought at least three of the stand’s apples had the man just been honest.

You took the coins and added them to the cup, before taking the bitten apple and returning to your perch. For whatever reason, humans would turn up perfectly good apples even after a little bite, but that was hardly a loss for you.

It was back to the same old quiet, watching over the same old stand on the same old lane outside of Turffield. Except now you had a snack as you waited for the next travelers to come by.

It's interesting to read the original too. I love what you did with everything you added to the current version by comparison!

Summary:
So, this story has a sense of rich timeless vibe to it. Great care goes into how the apple stand is ran. It is a place of understanding and charity but not without the means to defend itself lest the stand be ruined and that it would no longer serve those it was put there to serve.

As my first introduction to your writing style, Spiteful, I must say I am impressed with your writing ability and found this to be a worthwhile read! Thank you for posting!

 

[Panoramic_Vacuum]

Hey, thanks for sending this rec my way! Sometimes I just want to read a little something with the funny ronk man in it, and this delivered. I like your choice of POV character, and the xeno angle of of trying to understand these "weird" rules about how the world works when your trainer (your trusted partner and beloved friend who takes care of you and looks out for you) happens to omit the whole "yeah this isn't exactly 'legal'" thing, but also explaining legality to your partner pokemon is probably a whole other can of worms.

Another commenter mentioned that it makes sense that it would be confusing that some fighting good, but other fighting bad? Although you might think a pattern would start to rear its head at some point, though it does seem like that's partially getting through to Grovyle. Enough to know maybeeee you shouldn't do this, and if you do *definitely* don't get caught.

Except whoops, you tried to pickpocket the literal Champion of Hoenn and his psychic partner. I like the difference in reaction between Metagross and Steven, and not because of a language barrier either. I can definitely see Steven having a soft spot for pokemon (vs if a human had tried to pull the same theft, he might not be as forgiving.) You have to wonder though, if in like 3-5 years there's a headline for a Mega Sceptile trainer committing crimes, if Steven is aware he had aided and abetted the duo 😂

Fun little read, thanks so much for pointing it out to me.

 

[IFBench]

Hi! Here to finally finish our review exchange, with reviews for A Dragon Someday and A Flightless Dragon!

These were both very lovely little ficlets! I adore how much personality you give the Pokemon here, and how you have them perceive human concepts! It's all very cool!

My personal favorite of the two was A Dragon Someday. Between the PMD reference, the inclusion of Steven Stone, the little mega stone mix-up, and the vivid flashback section, it was a really fun read! Was giggling with glee the entire time I read it!

Of course, A Flightless Dragon was no slouch either! I love the mundane beginning quickly transitioning to a hospital visit, and then the joy of the Bagon as they get to (sorta) fly at last! I legitimately teared up a bit at the end!

Thank you for writing both of these lovely little stories!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, making another stop on my tour of stories where… well, I do hope to update this one someday™ in the future, but next year, I expect my dragony third wheel quota to be more than spoken for by de facto spinoffs to this story, so it probably won’t be then.

Anyhow, there was a surprising amount of feedback this year, so let’s just jump in and start plugging out some responses:

@K_S

Spoiler

Heya, so it’s only taken the better part of the year to finally respond, but I’m still chuffed to bits that you went so far above and beyond for your prize review of this story, so let’s get right into things:

I imagine between survival of the fitest, a traditional dragons life span, and general mon world schenanigans, easy chow has got to be hard to get. So i can see the alure of easy pickings.... still this can go bad. I'm wondering if our draco is heading to a daycare center where all the unwanted ev/iv cast offs with wild move sets are released?

Close but no cigar. The location actually got namedropped later on in this one-shot, which wasn’t quite a Day Care.

As his mental chatter continues i suspect he's three headed, one brained, and three stomached... not a good cobination.

I mean, that’s debatable given how things allegedly go with Zweilous’ two brains according to the Pokédex. But yeah, it was definitely not a good combination for the rest of the world. ^^;

I suspect between his "fear me rawr" angle and "i'm special because i'm a dragon" that we are gearing up to see an epic case of "pride goeth before a fall".

That obvious, huh?

Sheep? Wooloo or... ok so yellow means mareep... wait, is the head sheep megaevolved? Because if so our draco is going to get his heads handed to him on a silver platter…

No, but he still got his heads handed to him all the same.

Snorts. Pompus much, Mr. Spyro Knock Off? I suppose such vauge and grim warnings sound better then "so the fleshy bipeds have these rocks, and they throw them, and you get stuck in this itty bitty living space where you can only kinda see out...."

Those warnings probably wouldn’t be effective anyways since Pokéballs don’t quite work that way in this story and the others that share its setting. There’s actually a couple one-shots later on that delve into it a bit more.

Looks like per his justification and purpose Hyd' is not going out of his way to wrangle with humans today…

Which is wise on his part, really. Since sure, the average human’s Pokémon isn’t necessarily anything special, but thar be monsters among them, as Hydreigon learned the hard way.

I can imagine that if Hyd' cared to learn/listen the mareeps words he'd hear the sounds of high pitched echo of the dragon alert used in the originsl "how to train your dragon" or perhaps the civilian casts screams during a godzilla flick....

That… sounds about right, yes.

Though i wonder if Hyd' would have the sense to be scared it the mareep started meeping for thier "big brother". Especually if they did so calmly.

Hydreigon: “What, me? Be afraid of some sheep? Surely you jest!”

nother point to three heads and one brain (and probably three brain cells) he can't see that the whole herd isn't just mounting a rescue, they are stalling.

To be fair, they weren’t doing that great of a job at it given how they basically ran off screaming every time Hydreigon roared at them. ^^;

Kinda curious to see how a dragon pulse works beyond the game mechanics/visuals. Not detailing if feels a little like an oportumity lost.

Hrm, I kinda thought that I did show it off there. If you’re referring more to the “what and why” of what that bluish maybe/maybe-not-fire is, I figured that expositioning it didn’t quite work since it’d basically come as second nature to Hydreigon there so it’d feel like expositioning breathing in-context.

Ah but does Amph'have a lusious tail and head like an escapee lo'real model? Because if he does this is going to go sideways in seconds.

No, but things still went sideways in seconds anyways.

Love that classism. "I am dragon hear me roar you mere pet..."

Yeah, I figured that something along those lines would be in play for wild Pokémon that looked down on trained ones, which some lines from Dr. Footstep in DPPt imply happen to some extent.

While Amph is ticking up a non-existant eyebrow thinking "i just knocked you out of the sky, like two seconds ago"

Yes, but that would require Hydreigon to telegraph to Ampharos that that hit hurt more than he expected. ^^;

And Amp looks like he's leading with a thunderwave. Giving him breathing space and slowing the bulky dragon down and Hyd' still doesnt see he's being played.

I'm sure between shock and impact he's cottening on... maybe. And i also downgrade my estimate... he's got one cell. And its clearly saying "ouch".

I mean, in his defense, a Level 30 and a Level 65+ Ampharos don’t have much in the way of visual differences. If Ampharos here was one of the former and not the latter, this showdown would’ve ended quite differently for everyone involved.

So much for bravery/dignity Mr. Eyes scrunched shut and whimpering.... love how the sheep let him stew, then after deciding "nah, i dont need new boots" let the dragon off with a warning.

Yeah, bravery/dignity amongst pseudolegendaries and similarly strong Pokémon strikes me as one of those things that you won’t really get a firm read on how much they have until you see them in over their head. Since it’s easy to be brave and tough in the face of a weak opponent, not so much when you’re on the ground winded and expecting to die.

Though it might of been funnier if the Ram had nailed him with a "dragon tail" attack…

Alas, this one-shot was written in the twilight days of Gen 8, when Dragon Tail Ampharos was not a thing and Dragon Pulse was a late levelup move for them.

I can imagine the herd on the way back , carrying thier woundrd, meeping about how "we could of used his hide for a waterproof tent.." or "his jaws for a cool bale of hay holder..."

And the Ram is like, "seriously, guys, calm your bloodlust already, we are herbavores"

"Ooh and his spines/tail as a giant wool comb!"

I can neither confirm nor deny that something to that effect happened.

Ohh deathnoodles galore here in draconic and homely poison form no less. If you can't tell i'm a nerd for snakes... all things considered its not too surprising... and these two are adorable.

Just filing that one away for later if I have some more snake-y material to throw your way in the future.

The pair of parents to be are so real as first time rearers. They're staggering over cultural norms (arboks confessed "we hatch and ditch" vs 'nair's wordless horror at the idea and wrangling with some classism of if the kid's "dragon enough".) Wild vs tamed 'mon world views and them trying to assimulate old life norms/culture verses the more quixotic seeming h7man world…

I mean, “hitch and ditch” is basically how most snakes operate IRL. With the primary exceptions being pythons, which Arbok isn’t quite. And yeah, I figured that it was bait for playing opposing expectations in spite of morphological similarities here, which sounds like it got what it was intending to done.

And, you know, more mundane first time jitters.

Kinda surprised they weren't set up with thier trainer to do a pre parenting to ween/foster a youngling to get some pracitce. Guess the eggbert was a surprise.

Something to that effect yet. Also it “helps” that there was a hard language barrier between them and their trainer, as you saw in some of your other reviews.

I imagine if you had to have a friendship mechanic between mon before breeding them it'd deture so much egg farming. On a less squick note, them both freaking out over the bundle of scales in the incubator is hilarious.

Yeeeeeeah, my baseline assumption in my writing is that the way the Day Care works in the games is basically a massive abstraction and that attempting to 1:1 that with sapient beings is basically an recipe for lots and lots of problems.

This dragonnair's got plenty of reason to shake off thier home cultures norms (being left for dead by ones neighbors will do that as well as really encourage you to move) but you show it still is a struggle. Ages later there's still some bad tape

I mean, to be fair, that’s just life in the wild even in real life. If someone in your pack/herd/[whatever] is struggling and not getting better on their own or with what you know to do to try to help, you have to cut your losses and focus on everyone else that isn't statistically dead weight.

Love how Nair pulls a Wheatly ("i know hacking!" And boinks head into ptoblem until it opens.) And gets it opens in perfect time for them to literally get egg (shell) in thier face.

I mean, at least he didn’t have to resort to telling his mate to look away for a second.

Imagining the freaked out baby noodle hanging from "dadas" nose was worth a chuckle.. they should be happy thier trainer isn't there, or thier first encounter of the mini scaly kind would of been enshrined on the internet, or at least thuer trainers personal phone for future replaying.

Fortunately for them, their trainer is probably more considerate than that. ^^;

So i did some digging and little wonder boyh parwnts were freaking out. Vua egg moves and breeding ekans born of dragonite/nair parents tend to get the following skill

"Intimidate"

And thier egg move a ekans can get fr9m a dragon is "scary face".

I had more of the whole “shock of suddenly getting bitten in mind”, but I suppose that would help with things, yes.

Lovely begining thought train. To eat or not to eat... ones hiding spot... that is the question…

And one that needs to be grappled with on a daily basis if you’re sufficiently far down the food chain.

Due to biological differences i suspect all yhe dark and gloomy "stormy night" starts to a stereotypical horror film would be downright homey to our pov.

Well, I don’t know about the “stormy” part, but a rainy night would probably be very welcome for our Goomy protagonist here for much the same reason it is for slugs and snails IRL, yes.

But then snakes... funnily enough considering my last tale i read. And pne with my favorite design to boot.

Yeah, not so cute and cuddly when they’re big enough to swallow you whole, huh? ^^;

The convinece of regular rain and looming greenery made me think the setting might be a rainforest... but the island makes sense too…

It’s not stated explicitly, but this is an actual island from the series whose identity is implied through the small details of its depiction: Exeggutor Island.

I suspect the escape attempt is going to be exciting. Between a lurking preditor and our p.o.v.s lack of stanima,speed, and what i assume is an insane metabolism.

likely small size of our p.o.v. nonewithstanding, bug types in the mon world are horryfying. I'm sure our slimey friend would agree, hopefully he doesnt start a forest fire with his emergency fireburst.

Fortunately for everyone else on the island, things aren’t sufficiently dry and crispy for that at the moment. ^^;

Also, its come up several tines, but whats the diference between dragon fire and fire fire? Besides color i mean.

You got an answer to that in the next one-shot that you read, but TL/DR, it’s not normal “fire” and may or may not have a paranormal component to it.

Ah the classic tired and true, let gravity take over. I'm surprused they didnt clonk themselves out to be honest…

Well, fortunately for Goomy, that didn’t happen there since it’d have been a noticeably shorter one-shot otherwise.

I'm surprised they didnt spit out a last dragon fire harrah to be honest. Granted good thing they didnt, thier savior might of been singed... but the sudden bounce/crush to the attack, and the being rising almost slinky like above after the move, and the colors spied (as well as the theme) make me think this is an alola executor?

Kinda getting a ditzy benign treebeard vibe off of the ally shrub.

Did the descending death via pincer not tip our plant off or…

I was aiming more for a “what are you doing here anyways” here.

I wonder if straining to look up us going to cause our p.o.v.bloodflow problems... aka to pass out... or leave thier sense behind…

Nah, in the grand scheme of things, they weren’t looking up all that long. ^^;

Well theyre more composed then expected. Brownie points for that...but how arethey going to slime up that cliff to get back to thier peers?

Well i supose thats a post nap problem.

I mean, yeah. Some R&R would probably be called for after a near death experience there. ^^;

Or considering the clutch of slimey mon is right there... maybe not so much. Huh wild mon being encouragd to be kind. Wonder how far that impulse will spread among our p.o.v.s clan after his story is done?

Depends on what you assume Goomy is like as a personality, I guess, even if I’d like to think that if they lived long enough and grew strong enough, that they’d pay things forward at some point given that Exeggutor strongly implies they went through something similar in the past.

You know its a fun fanon misconception that x mon is fearless. Tales like this are good reminders that even the scary intimidating ones started as balls of fluff. Or in this ones case, a widdle fire newt.

Ohhh yes, +Attack / -Speed has been around as a nature in the games for over 20 years now, and there’s some fun to be had with slapping it onto an archetypical “tough Pokémon” and seeing what that looks like.

Between typing and Cynthia i respect Char's fear of garchomp. To quote jaiden animations "That thing was dreamed up by satan, and even he fears what it can do."

I mean, is he really wrong? ^^;

Hopping ahead a bit... It seems a bit evil that the "winning" trainer is counting what looks like a full fledged panic attack as a notch on the win score. Just saying…

Garchomp: “And this is my problem why when they were huffing and puffing earlier about how tough he was? They even said they did that in the narration!”

The fight from our p.o.v. fire lizard seems an exercise in regret. Aka foot in mouth. And considering a 'zard's physiology thats some impressive yoga in play.

Charizard: “Is this really necessary right now?” >_>;

Snorts. Garchomps all formal and stern while the firebug is chanting "oh crap, bit off more then i can chew, ah!" I'm surprised they dont go airborn and bolt but its been a pretty short time since evolving... And that oh so justified panic…

Well, also deeply unimpressed considering the implied context for how this battle started to begin with.

So dragonfire mimics burns for firetypes? I'd wager they cringe in sympathy pain the next time they do a fireblast.

Probably not since they’d likely insist that that’s different.

Well if battling doesn't become our p.o.v. charizards thing, i guess choir is an option, or perhaps opera?

I mean, they were shame spiraling hard enough that some thought to the effect probably crossed their mind. ^^;

Love how the charizard is so confident that thier trainer can save them from everything. It shows a sweet young side to them. And i can imagine the trainer having to teach thier char' in all its evolutions to mind thier tail during that snuggle and hide menuver least that gesture lead to accidental burns, loss of pants, and forest fires.

I mean, yeah, I could see that happening when this zard was quite a bit smaller.

To counter garchomp i would say, "one aware of my chart type/meta" but i suspect my type is sassy where this soul is probably timid.

Charizard is absolutely Timid, yes. I admittedly didn’t put a ton of thought into what the Garchomp’s equivalent would be, but could buy ‘Sassy’ for her, yes.

Winces. Stage fright to the point of puking in public... poor thing that had to have sucked. Still i suspect all this self flagulation is totally unwarented. Thier trainer stuck.with them through that and with more going forward and seems utterly supportive... but i dont think 'zard sees that yet.

Well, they didn’t, since it’d have short-circuited a good half of the one-shot as you saw later on.

Winter wonderland it is not. Guess Gar's acting in accordence to type chart and thier trainer is... not a snow person? Luckily for charizard them and thier trainer are set to stay safely warm if they travel close enough... something that both think of and act on. Though how both trainers didnt think to pack for weather changes is amusing me to no end…

Garchomp: “Look, it’s supposed to be spring, okay?!”

Also by Garchomp's tone you think they were saying that "there are swarms of frosslass and articuno out there!"

Cue 'Zard bracing themselves and getting... an antagonistic snow flake... and being quietly amused at Gar's fear. Shame they don't rematch, a snowball might tip the battle charizards way....

Well thanks for the fun read. Til next time.

And thanks again for the review! I’ll be looking forward to crossing paths again with you sometime soon. ^^

@Tango

Spoiler

Hi there, I'm here to take CuteBunnyGirl's place for a catnip review for you, Spiteful!

Apologies if this is coming in a bit late. My offer to help Bunny came late just yesterday evening.

I had agreed to help her out here before I even knew who she was supposed to review and i am pleasantly surprised to see it is you!

This will be a great opportunity for me to show you the quality I can put in for reviews! I hope you enjoy!

I’ll admit, I hadn’t really expected to get this review back in the day, though with how it turned out, I can hardly complain since it was a lot of fun to read through.

That's so cool you have art for just a drabble. I'm a bit envious. Certainly an interesting bit of art!

Yeah, even if I’ve kinda built up a backlog to get through for more recent pieces, it’s been a goal of mine to pick up a banner or equivalent thereof for every story that I write. There’s actually more presently in the pipeline for this one that’s been held up by some scheduling limbo that will hopefully make an appearance SOON™

Nice opening line here! I don't think I have read anything quite like it. Very atmospherical!

Yeah, it can sometimes be a bit tricky for me to figure out what note I want to kick off a scene from, but “this is where you are, and this is what it’s like” has been a pretty reliable formula. Glad to hear that it worked here, too.

A stadium? I sense battle as a probable plot point here!

The fact that everything else around is so quiet really helps to zero in on this stadium being THE thing to do in this town. Nice way of highlighting it's importance without directly stating it!

Nah, it’s just an acknowledgement that Turffield has one as part of its local Gym in Sword and Shield. Our actual action for this one-shot was focused out in the boonies.

Ah, so our character is the guardian of the apples! Makes sense with the art! I also think it's interesting how you describe the main character as 'you'. You are pulling me into the story with this simple wording tactic. It's pretty cool!

Clearly this 'guardian of the apples' is not new to apple-guarding.

Ok, I have to admit I am confused on the purpose of the chipped cup here. Is it like a tip jar or the place customers put money?

It’s where they leave money. This one-shot is basically set in the equivalent of one of those stands in high-trust rural towns where people leave out goods/produce with a sign saying how much to pay and a jar to leave payment in.

Soda as currency?! Now I'm wondering if they use money.

Thinking about it more, I think you are saying that for the price of one soda, you could pay the same amount of money to purchase 3 apples. So they don't have a system of bartering without any money in this town. Honestly I'm ok with either detail. Bartering would be really nifty as a concept though.

There is money in this setting, it’s just how our viewpoint character finds it a bit of an alien concept, so parsing the value of it by “things you can buy with it instead” is how they try to make it more comprehensible.

The line right after clink but before the next one reads oddly to me. Like it overlaps from the idea of the sound effect and almost seems like the end of the sentence would read better with a comma instead of a period.

Recommendation:
"Clink.

The clatter of metal against porcelain jolts you to attention. You raise your eyes briefly..."

If that recommendation changes the meaning of what you are trying to say, then I feel like it needs some kind of re-wording. As it currently stands, trying to figure out what it is saying is distracting to me. Maybe that is a 'me' problem, but if its like that for me, I would guess it's like that for others potentially too.

No, I think I see your point since your rewording seems quite a bit clearer. I went and dropped it in.

As for the content, this is pretty nifty. The guardian is disguised and keeping watch for potential thieves it seems. Also, given the art, I'm pretty sure the guardian is hiding in a red egg that was placed among the apples.

Nah, that’s just the apple or whatever it is that Flapple shields its body in.

Jealously? Is the guardian employed to keep watch but is paid such a small amount of money that they can't afford apples? Is this slave labor going on here? Is the guardian too young to be able to properly digest apples and thus cannot eat them? Why the jealousy?

Questions within questions....

They’re just possessive. From Flapple’s perspective, this is their apples and coins they’re watching over on behalf of their buddies, and even if they’re small, they’re more than a bit dragon-y about them.

So they give out apples as charity to travelers? That's a sweet gesture. I like this family.

More that they sell a portion of their harvest in this fashion.

This gives a nice sense of depth and history.

I like how this drabble seems to take its time with set up. It may have a small word count being what it is, but it seems to say that it's not about the word count, but the vibe.

Yeah, getting so much done in so few words is honestly a bit of a dark art that I’m still not fully consistent at pulling off, though glad to hear that it worked here at least.

Just from this ONE line, I can tell this person is like a Tauros in a china shop.

Which is precisely why Flapple is there to help keep an eye on the stock.

So now we will get to see the guardian in action presumably.

The pair certainly seems hoodlum enough!

I mean, such is life with Team Yell given that they were very transparently based off of soccer/football hooligans.

So they are going to take food for free and not even properly appreciate it…

Flapple: “Correction, they were going to steal the food. Emphasis on ‘were’ since it wasn’t happening if I had anything to say about it.”

Aww this was a nice tidbit to hear. Some really great detail in here. They are careful to protect the feelings of others.

Yeah, it just felt like the sorts of things that someone who runs that sort of stand would do in terms of archetypal premise.

They done messed up now!

And how!

The art was clearly an egg. I feel lied to!

Hiding in a big apple though? Wouldn't that make people try to take that one instead? Maybe it should look like it has a deformity or something so people don't try to touch it.

Nah, that’s just how Flapple are. Presumably, if someone tries to take their apple, they’d get a touch:

about it.

Ah that makes sense now! The jealousy is that the guardian is a dragon and it considers the apples its treasure hoard! Nice!

Once again:

Ah the guardian is too young to be taken very seriously it seems!

More like “too small”. The average Flapple serieswise is allegedly a foot tall on average. A very big apple, but a not-so-big dragon that wouldn’t exactly scream “intimidating” at first blush.

A pokemon that is like an apple I guess? I am unfamiliar with it...

*looks up wiki*

OH from the art, I thought the green part was supposed to look like a horn! I think its supposed to look like a leaf which would make it look like an apple and NOT an egg! That makes sense now!

Yeah, that. Though I suppose that means there might be a few more surprises down the road for you in this oneshot collection, since it primarily focuses on “weird” dragons from the franchise. ^^;

I can understand this. Flapple was not in the wrong here.

[...]

Yeah... dude had it coming.

Flapple: “*And how!*”

Ah, and now Flapple gets to eat the remainder of the apple!

A well-deserved reward for our faithful guardian, no? :V

It's interesting to read the original too. I love what you did with everything you added to the current version by comparison!

I honestly wasn’t expecting the original drabble to also get reviewed, though thanks for checking it out. Even if the final versions of these one-shots are the superior ones, IMO, I figured that given that the originals were publicly posted here onsite, that it only made sense to also record them for posterity.

Summary:
So, this story has a sense of rich timeless vibe to it. Great care goes into how the apple stand is ran. It is a place of understanding and charity but not without the means to defend itself lest the stand be ruined and that it would no longer serve those it was put there to serve.

As my first introduction to your writing style, Spiteful, I must say I am impressed with your writing ability and found this to be a worthwhile read! Thank you for posting!

Well, you’ve since read a bit more of my stuff since the time you posted this, but I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed yourself with it, since I quite enjoyed this review and the others I’ve had the good fortune to get from you this year. ^^

@Panoramic_Vacuum

Spoiler

Hey, thanks for sending this rec my way! Sometimes I just want to read a little something with the funny ronk man in it, and this delivered. I like your choice of POV character, and the xeno angle of of trying to understand these "weird" rules about how the world works when your trainer (your trusted partner and beloved friend who takes care of you and looks out for you) happens to omit the whole "yeah this isn't exactly 'legal'" thing, but also explaining legality to your partner pokemon is probably a whole other can of worms.

Honestly, I was more than a little surprised to see you drop an out-and-out review on things. It was a real pleasant treat to get back in the summer, and glad to hear that even if it wasn’t quite as central to the perspective, that it struck you as a convincing portrayal of ronk man.

Another commenter mentioned that it makes sense that it would be confusing that some fighting good, but other fighting bad? Although you might think a pattern would start to rear its head at some point, though it does seem like that's partially getting through to Grovyle. Enough to know maybeeee you shouldn't do this, and if you do *definitely* don't get caught.

Glad to hear that it came through there. Since from the perspective of a Pokémon who from their perspective is upholding their end of the bargain a trained Pokémon is supposed to have, being treated well, and isn’t doing anything that wouldn’t be fair game in the wild… I’d be confused and frightened as well when a bunch of humans with really strong and burny friends came and proverbially punched me in the mouth and took my closest friend away.

Except whoops, you tried to pickpocket the literal Champion of Hoenn and his psychic partner. I like the difference in reaction between Metagross and Steven, and not because of a language barrier either. I can definitely see Steven having a soft spot for pokemon (vs if a human had tried to pull the same theft, he might not be as forgiving.) You have to wonder though, if in like 3-5 years there's a headline for a Mega Sceptile trainer committing crimes, if Steven is aware he had aided and abetted the duo 😂

Fun little read, thanks so much for pointing it out to me.

Now I just need to get you to read some more of my stuff that has a bit less ronk man in it~

More seriously, thanks again for the review, it was and still is a blast to read over.

@IFBench

Spoiler

Hi! Here to finally finish our review exchange, with reviews for A Dragon Someday and A Flightless Dragon!

Honestly, those were some pretty solid picks, since they’re both pretty up there in terms of one-shots from the first batch that I like, for reasons I’m sure you gathered while reading.

These were both very lovely little ficlets! I adore how much personality you give the Pokemon here, and how you have them perceive human concepts! It's all very cool!

And I’m glad to hear that. While there’s a decently-sized space for “Pokémon that track after humans in mindset” in this fandom, for this series, I wanted to crank up the Xenofiction angle a bit harder. Sounds like I succeeded.

My personal favorite of the two was A Dragon Someday. Between the PMD reference, the inclusion of Steven Stone, the little mega stone mix-up, and the vivid flashback section, it was a really fun read! Was giggling with glee the entire time I read it!

Yeah, I figured that you’d like it. Even if I’m a little curious as to what point in the one-shot everything clicked together for you. :V

Of course, A Flightless Dragon was no slouch either! I love the mundane beginning quickly transitioning to a hospital visit, and then the joy of the Bagon as they get to (sorta) fly at last! I legitimately teared up a bit at the end!

Thank you for writing both of these lovely little stories!

And thanks for the review. Even if it was a bit of a wait, I’m quite happy with how things turned out, and glad to hear that you enjoyed yourself with this review exchange. ^^

Thanks again for the reviews, everybody. They put more than a few smiles on my face looking over them again, and I’ll be looking forward to chances to repay things in kind in what’ll hopefully be the not-too-distant future.