Pokémon Do Psychic Cats Dream of Electric Sheep? -- OLD VERSION

[ShiniGojira]

Hi there! Hope you're having a lovely day. I'm here with my review for catnip.

Starting off with some of my thoughts. I've never played Super Mystery Dungeon before so I'm probably gonna get some spoilers for reading this but I've already read one other PSMD story in my lifetime so it's not like more spoilers could do much to me.

Anyway, onto the review.

The prologue was interesting. It's a bit different than the other fic I've read before. I know I was expecting it to be a fic about Espurr but I didn't expect it to be Espurr having amnesia (and probably being a human). I don't really know much about the game so I'm guessing Espurr's gonna be the human now instead of being a side character? The potential conflict coming from the Beeheyem and the dungeon's fog coming early is interesting, I don't know if those were in the game but if the other fic I've read gives any clue, I think only the Beeheyem is canon? Not sure about the fog though.

Chapter 1 is mostly following canon? I also liked how the first sentence was the same as the prologue and the underlined 'I see you' is a cute Easter egg. I'm guessing that's the antagonist talking? Tricky's a cute character, the local troublemaker and happy-go-lucky, and Espurr's rather interesting and she seems to be the reserved kind who's still trying to understand what the world is and who exactly is she. It's interesting to see that the dungeon's fog isn't only a one-time thing which means it probably doesn't have anything to do with the Beheeyem.

The prologue and first chapter are an interesting introduction to your take on the PSMD world. I'll probably take another look at this later on.

Take care and keep doing what you love!

 

[kintsugi]

Heya, here for catnip!

I admit I took a ton of psychic damage trying to figure out where I'd left off--you mentioned in our convo that I'd read up to chapter 12, my last review said "here for Chapter 10" and the quotes I pulled in that review linked to an Interlude that I vaguely remember reading but in a different spot. This is for what's currently labeled as chapters 13/14; I got really really confused and ended up thinking you'd recommended reading to the end of 15 but I needed to write up thoughts for catnip ... anyway, the moral of the story is that I can't count and if I've skipped something, please let me know!

I do see what you mean by the end of 14 representing an end to a sort of arc; Tricky finally faces her demons, but I think more importantly she faces her friends. I liked the scene at the end where they discuss their actual goals for why they want to explore; I think the dark and scary parts are easy to focus on, but ultimately it's important for characters to be able to point to the reason they want to keep doing things and moving forward. Tricky's motivation makes a lot of sense here, and it's good to hear her finally saying it out loud, even if I don't think she's fully internalized what happened to Budew. (which, totally fair--it's a lot and you don't really unpack from that overnight, or in one conversation).

I think Espurr falls a little out of the plot here, and Tricky continues to be the main character of the story by far even though we're mostly in Espurr's head. I think at this point I have a really firm idea of Tricky's motivations--her past and what she wants to do about it are laid on the table pretty clearly. But Espurr's a little harder to digest, and I still get the feeling that she's mostly just going along with the plot; it's been a while since she's made an informed decision that I think really matters? A lot of her choices feel arbitrary/forced, in the sense that she either has no other choice or no information to make a decision; she chooses to go with Audino because it's the best option she has; she picks the poliwrath swamp because she doesn't realize that three stars is too dangerous for her. And building characters is really hard, even if they aren't amnesiac--but in general it's been many thousands of words and it still feels like she's mostly just on Tricky's shadow.

Structurally, I think I'm able to appreciate the arc a bit more now that I'm at the end of it. I was always a little weirded out by how the adults treated the whole Budew thing. Tricky's got no real onus to deal with that in a healthy way since she's a child, and Deerling/Pancham are definitely cruel about it, but at the same time they're also kids and it's really hard to explain that level of accidental morality to a child, so their actions make sense here. But the adults are super super awful at this, which I think in reading these flashbacks is sort of the point? I'm reminded of a lot of coverups that tend to happen in small towns, small communities--that teenage girl got pregnant and we never saw her again; that boy drove his car into a ditch and we don't speak of him; that house has abusive parents and we don't talk about them. Simipour firmly saying that nomon is a murderer here is true, but he doesn't explain that to anyone else; Farfetch'd just really hopes that no one notices their friend is gone and then tells Deerling god knows what, lol; Carracosta kinda just shrugs his flippers and is like "no more mystery dungeons" and then immediately lets Tricky go back into mystery dungeons. And it's clear that even though they're all insisting on pretending that nothing happened, no one sees Tricky the same way. There's all these kids running around making these terrible decisions and the adults sort of stand there helplessly being like, golly, if only we could figure out why everyone is so mean to Tricky ...

(Honestly I'd be impressed if this was the first time this kind of thing happened to them.)

Storywise I do think this is a compelling angle; the PMD world seems like it could be really deadly and scary if they really do just like kids go into dungeons without even knowing the basics about which dungeons are dangerous, and most of the PMD stories rely way too hard on having children save the day. I think it didn't really stick for me on my first read because this payoff is so deeply buried in the story--this is about the 100k wordcount mark, which is basically two novels in. And it might be on me! I'm famously unsubtle about picking up when the narrative is trying to tell me that a setting is dangerous/the people in it are all collectively making decisions I think are bonkers--but it was hard for me to tell if the story itself was aware that this setting is responsible for Tricky turning out the way she did, if this was an intentional narrative choice. It's hard too because Espurr's new to this and she's also pretty young, and therefore less equipped to be aware of these things, but kids are inquisitive and pretty smart. I think it ends up getting a little buried under all the school shenanigans and sideplots; even just a few lines from Tricky early on about how like, oh no, we don't talk about those people who live down the block; their father ran off and married a simisear--doesn't really have to be that specifically but just something to imply that this kind of ostracizing and collective erasure is a thing that this community does frequently would help a bit.

On a smaller scale, removed from the setting, I do think Tricky's arc lands well. The story with the lapras fleeing was really sweet in particular, and I think it's an effective use of metafiction. It makes sense that Tricky would see herself in this story (even though she can't flee like the Lapras can), and in general it speaks powerfully to what I think is the whole sad thing about Tricky--everyone's trying to ignore what she's done, but no one's actually letting her do it. Her changing her name is a symbolic gesture, and perhaps one that helps her heal, but no one's actually forgotten what happened. I think it's a pretty powerful illustration of grief/guilt and how it tends to ostracize you from others in ways that aren't necessarily healthy. I also like the physicality of having to re-enter the swamp; it's a literal way to face your fears, and I can't help but wonder if perhaps it's haunted ...

Some other brief notes I had while reading--I liked the setup/pacing in the fire wand sequence; it felt very tense when Teddiursa realized what happened but Tricky/Espurr mostly just felt like fun kids having a good time, blissfully unaware of how many forest fires they were about to cause on this blessed day. The naming sequence at the end is also really adorable, and god, trying to find the right name for something is a mood I think we all vibe with.

Some small prose tweaks/mostly as notes for me more than anything else--mostly just flagged the sections that I tripped over, since you mentioned knowing the general shape/state of the prose:

Spoiler

She sat on the floor of the principal’s office, still slightly shivering all over. Not from the cold–she was cold, but that wasn’t why–but from the events of the day.

Today a thin shroud of mist surrounded the island, but this mist felt different from early morning mist. It was thicker, and Espurr felt a chill looking at it that wasn’t from the cold.

On the second floor, the dungeon suddenly went cold. It wasn’t the cold found on top of a frigid mountain—rather the kind that sent chills down one’s back and made them feel like they were being watched from all sides, and that was how Espurr felt as she traversed the dungeon’s second floor. This was an evil place. More evil than all the mystery dungeons she had encountered so far.

There was no labyrinth filled with endless dead ends and a perfect stone staircase hidden within its many twists and turns. There was only a thick, overgrown wilting swamp, and at the other side of the swamp in plain view lay a light-filled archway between the trees. The way out.

The sun was already higher up in the sky than it should have been if it had been a school day, but it wasn’t a school day, so Tricky didn’t bother moving.

In general there are a few times that you tend to say "this is a thing that's like this thing, except not a normal version of that thing"--it'd read a bit more cleanly to me if you cut the first comparison (i.e. comparing Tricky's anxiety shivers to shivers from the cold; the spooky island mist to early morning mist; the sun's position on a normal day compared to a school day). "The sun was already high in the sky, but it wasn't a school day, so Tricky didn't bother moving", sorta thing.

“No, you didn’t,” Simipour spoke. “You and Budew were the victims of circumstance. No-mon here is a murderer. Do you understand that?”

Might be a regional thing but I don't think "spoke" is an equivalent to "said", in that it can't be attached to dialogue like a said/muttered and instead behaves like stood/smiled ("No, you didn't." Simipour spoke.)

When they passed the Crooked House Espurr briefly stopped to study it. It stood proudly like the dark pillar of evil it was, its doors boarded over with rotting wood like they always had been. Until they weren’t.

I didn't quite understand this section, which might've just been that I've lost some of the details between reads (for which I'm very sorry)--what changed here? "Until they weren't" implies a change but I'm not understanding the significance of that in this scene.

Oh, she couldn’t wait to evolve (preferably into something with smaller ears).

this poor eevee doesn't know what's about to hit her lmfao

In other words, a pokemon with ears as sensitive as hers was bound to go deaf sooner or later. If not from those pebbles—ow, another one—it would be just from hearing things.

Do they not have PPE in this universe actually? I'd think for pokemon like noibat or zubat that'd be a must just to exist in functional society (although tbf we haven't seen any yet ...)

Fletchinder carefully set his leaf of seeds and berries aside, then shook Eevee’s paw the best he could with a wing (which wasn’t very well at all). Both pokemon awkwardly retracted their limbs and backed off for a second. The gesture wasn’t designed for them.

This struck me as a little awkward as far as lampshading. If the gesture wasn't designed for them, who made it? Who still uses it? Who requires the two of these pokemon to use if if it's awkward and unhelpful for both of them?

Gestures and customs fall in and out of culture all the time--usually they only stick around because there's a willing party who keeps doing them, which typically happens because 1) it's convenient/helpful or 2) it's trendy or sometimes 3) it's enforced by a higher power. But like for the most part the practice of leaving calling cards fell out of typical greeting conventions once humans invented phones with answering machines; western cultures don't stand when adults enter a schoolroom unless the adult/school specifically requires it--usually customs will die if no one involved in the custom actually wants to practice it.

A loud bark flew past Espurr’s ears amongst the other noise and she turned to see a rabid furfrou that was quickly stumbling its way towards her in all the chaos.

describing the bark as flying tripped me up a bit--I thought it was the physical version of bark here.

A rotting pink bag was peeled to its side, covered in leaves and dirt. Its eyes stayed trained on her no matter what.

"peeled" didn't make sense to me as a verb here

Espurr picked up a rock from the ground and nailed the dog pokemon’s face with it. She was violently pushed to the ground by another feral who wasn’t even after her in the first place.

"who wasn't even after her in the first place" felt a bit tell-don't-show here--I think describing what it was after instead would help a bit here.

Teddiursa grabbed an unused wand. Espurr ran for and grabbed Gabite’s exploration bag. Tricky ran over to Espurr, and all three pokemon quickly grouped together in the center of the room.

I wasn't sure why they were grouping up in the center of the room? The feral horde seems to not specifically be targeting them, so even as a group I think they'd have better luck if they just tried to push to the side of the room and hope that the bulk of the group would ignore them? Plus, the center just seems like a strategically indefensible position.

“Espurr watch out!”

should be "Espurr, watch out!"

“It’s a tube of bluk berry toothpaste,” Ursaring replied. “I took it from Uncle’s room. You could sell it for a bunch. Just don’t get the stuff in your eyes. I did that once and they stung for days.”

paid in exposure lol

There was a moment before Espurr got her answer, as if Audino had been considering it.

I think "as if Audino had been considering it" could be cut here--that's usually why people pause before answering.

All her ears heard were the words of the teachers which got filtered out into mumbling, and Deerling’s questioning as she got more and more uneased with every single moment Budew didn’t come back.

I don't think "uneased" works here--I'd do "uneasy" or "unsettled"

Artemis was still collapsed against the desk when Deerling came out. Deerling didn’t say a thing. She just gave Artemis a look that said ‘I’ll never forgive you’, and then she walked out of the classroom without a word.

This felt a bit tell-don't-showy as well--is there something in particular that makes Artemis realize this? A way that her jaw is set, or her ears are laid back, or some glint in her eyes?

It was only when the smell of simmering berries and vegetables came from the hallway that she finally stirred in her bed, stretching and then plodding across the hall to the washroom.

"stretching and then plodding" makes me think that she's both [stretching across the hall and then plodding across the hall] instead of stretching and [then plodding across the hall]. I'd switch to "she finally stirred in her bed, stretching, and then plodded across the hall"

“Living here now. Gone to Poliwrath River on a mission. ~ Espurr”



Tricky walked down towards the village square. If Espurr was going to be anywhere, she’d be there. Right?

Dropped a line break here I think.

But could she? For all she knew this mission wouldn’t even be here the next time she looked. And how much of a difference would Tricky make? It wasn’t like Espurr was helpless herself. She took a deep breath, then stepped forwards, and felt the air vanish into Mystery Dungeon.

yet good logic oh dear

Then the poliwrath attacked. A blue slimy fist suddenly punched through the underside of Espurr’s lily pad and grabbed Espurr by the stomach—

I think in this case it's better if you don't directly name the monster yet and cut "then the poliwrath attacked"--it's a bit punchier (heh) and scarier that way.

Espurr, who was not suited to underwater conditions at all, tried not to die. And then the poliwrath swam up towards the surface. Like she had never even existed in the first place.

"tried not to die" felt a bit laconic in this situation; it felt like you mostly wanted this fight scene to be very tense/scary, but Espurr's narration is pretty disjointed from it so it's hard to feel invested. I think some more details here would help a bit--how does she feel? Are her lungs burning? How much air is she having? What is her attempt at trying not to die?

She was finally beginning to collect her bearings again, most importantly the fact that she was completely out of air. She began to swim towards the top, trying not to lose the exploration bag in the process.

Likewise here--"she was completely out of air" sounds scary/dire, like she's about to die, but "began to swim towards the top" feels almost leisurely, and her looking after the exploration bag makes it seem like she's still able to focus on other things--it's a little hard to tell how in-danger she is in this moment.

“Berry crackers run!!” Tricky yelled

I think some commas got dropped here.

Espurr and Tricky both caught the breath in the marsh once again.

"caught their breath" I think?

Tricky said nothing, just backpedaling and trying to get to the stairs as hastily as possible. Espurr didn’t blame her.

"just backpedaled" would flow better here I think

“Oh, COME ON—“ Tricky yelled—and then it punted her straight into the marsh.

I didn't quite follow how intelligent the poliwrath is, actually--it's pursuing them across quite a distance, but if it's punting her away that implies it just wants to kick her out.

She could already feel the floor beginning to heat up under her feet. “Can’t you feel the fire?”

I lost track of the setting a bit--I thought they were in a marsh? It was a little difficult to picture the floor heating up in that case.

Espurr was cast into the water in horror. She emerged from it silently struggling, with her neck stuck in the grip of the poliwrath. The poliwrath that was staring at Tricky with a demonic glare. Tricky gave Poliwrath a glare back. All around them, the trees that hung over the marsh had caught fire.

“You killed my friend,” Tricky snarled. She began to charge an ember in her throat. “It was you!!”

Likewise I had trouble even recognizing that Espurr was in danger here, since the narration swaps to Tricky and her first thought is about vengeance, not Espurr being choked out.

It flew over Poliwrath’s head. It looked at her with a flash of incredulity—‘was that your big plan?’

“Nope,” Tricky responded to Poliwrath’s imaginary sentence. “This is.”

I'm not sure if this landed well for me--I think the easy solution for why it's okay for Tricky and Espurr to be remorselessly killing all these ferals and burning their home down is if they're basically zombies; they used to have thoughts but the mystery dungeon corrupted them and now they're insane and rabid and need to be put down since it's irreversible. But then moments like these where the narration imposes thoughts/logic on them makes that conclusion awkward--if they can reason, then killing them while gloating is a lot weirder to read.

“It was evil,” Espurr said. “You could taste evil in there. I’m glad it’s gone.”

“Me too,” Tricky replied. Now no-mon could ever die in there again.

this is very big brain--no one can die there if no one can live there ...

“But how do we be careful?”

“By packing the right things,” Espurr said. “By always going together. By only taking the missions with one star. I think those are the ones that aren’t dangerous.”

by reading the rules that tell you that stars mean missions are harder oh no

“But what if another pokemon joins our team and doesn’t like scarves?”

“Then they don’t join! We’re the Scarf Scouts! They can make their own stupid team if they hate scarves so much.”

I really liked this line lol

There was half a moment of silence. Then, Carracosta shrugged.

I feel so bad since yeah I'm not sure how a parent is supposed to act after your kid accidentally kills someone but like lmaooo this guy is not doing it

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Alright, I feel like getting into the second half of what remains of my review exchange, since it's my goal to get that done and dusted as part of the ongoing Review Blitz. So picking things up with...

Chapter 18

"Kecleon's was completely sold out of everything last week, I've never seen that happen before. Pokemon are buying in bulk and stockpiling everything, we can't get the materials we need to keep our bakery open. Law enforcement is completely gone after the Guild collapsed. The shop across the street from us was just robbed, and no-mon was able to do a thing about it. That could be us next time. It's getting bad."

~ Citizen of Baram Town

Wait, how on earth did these guys manage to structure their law enforcement such that one city going offline cripples law enforcement on an entire continent? .-.

Like that just smacks of "how did HAPPI never invade these guys if that's all it took to throw them into chaos?"

Capim Town was only a poor village on a poor continent, even if Quilava had come to call it home in the years he had lived there. He had spent almost ten years in that village, and in all that time the explorer who had visited three days ago was the first off-continent visitor they had had in a year.

So Quilava didn’t understand why ‘mon from Mist had come here.

The Demetrius and the Gardevoir—Mechanical machinations created by the pokemon on Mist—both stood proudly in the waters off the bay of Capim Town, and the beaches had been blocked off by pokemon who had come out of those ships. All the villagers had flocked to the cliffs off the side of the bay to get a good look (there was a fletchling taking discreet rounds every so often and filling everymon in on what was happening), but Quilava preferred to stay in the town, far away from whatever was happening on the beach.

Gee, I wonder why on earth these 'mons reflexively don't trust Explorers in general? Whatever could be the cause of that mystery?

Were they allowed to fence off the beach? Quilava had no clue. But it wasn't like there was anymon in their village strong enough to stop them.

Oh yeah, totally a sign of a perfectly normal and healthy relationship with the powers-that-be.

He could still see the ships from in town—that was how large they were. He turned away from them and began to stroll further inland. Maybe he’d go hunt something to make up for that long-lost fish. Everymon was up on the cliffs, so he wouldn’t have any competition. Bison meat sold for a lot; the Kecleons were always willing to buy them for good money. Scoring himself some meat for his rumbling belly and a good purse-full of poke on the side sounded like a plan—

“’Ey, Quilava!”

Quilava looked to the left, although he didn’t need to to recognize that voice—it was Duskull, the town crier.

“Quilava!” Duskull yelled. “the others sent me! They said there’s somethin’ you should see!”

Quilava: "Somethin' tha's involvin' food ri-?"
Duskull: "Quilava, stop thinkin' with yer stomach jus' this once! It's *important!"

“Ain’t in tha mood. Leave me alone.” Quilava began to walk towards the town exit and awau from Duskull. He was going to go hunt a bison to make up for that fishing incident last week. Yeah, that sounded good. The butcher would pay something hefty for a large cut of meat.

“It’s abou’ the thing that caught you while you wen’ fishin’ last week!” Duskull yelled back at him.

“I don’t wanna see it,” Quilava said.

“I really think ya should!” Duskull yelled.

Quilava: "Then how's about ya start makin' an argument for me to, huh? Since ah'm starved right now."

“Wha’s so important that ah have to come up there an’ see it?” Quilava groaned, turning around.

“It’s Lugia.”

Quilava was silent for a moment. He could not believe the words that came out of Duskull’s mouth. Lugia? The creature that moved the storms at its very whim? That was an old sea myth! And Duskull expected him to believe that Lugia had crashed into the ocean and nearly swept him out to sea?

Well, what did he have to lose? If the whole town was there, perhaps it was worth taking a look after all. At worst, Duskull was in for a good thrashing.

“…Alrigh’. Show me.” Quilava turned around, waiting in place expectantly. Duskull wasted no time turning around and heading back up the hill.

That entire second-to-last paragraph just screams 'tempting fate' there.

“I’s this way!” he called back. Quilava had to take the bridges there instead of floating like Duskull did, but he had a general idea of where Duskull was going. Reluctantly, he followed.

The cliffs off the coast offered a much better view of the ships than Quilava could have gotten from in town. All of Capim Town was currently gathered at the edge, looking over at the ships parked below. Quilava marched up to join them, led by Duskull.

“He’s here, he’s here!” Duskull announced excitedly, doing a spin in the air as the others turned around to look at Quilava.

A fletchling perched on a tree branch, leaning forward and whispering something into the head zangoose at the very edge of the cliff. Zangoose nodded wordlessly, and then Fletchling flew off.

Quilava marched up to the edge of the cliff, and looked over at the ships. If he was going to be all the way out here, then he might as well make it worth his time. Sure enough, he spotted something being hoisted up between the two ships. Something that did look a lot like…

But that was ridiculous. There was no way that was Lugia.

But it was.

Quilava: "W-What in tha'-? B-But tha's where tha' Explorer found mah..."

Slowly coming to. A loud rattling noise jarred Espurr out of her slumber. She sat up in a jolt, looking around wildly, trying to piece together what was making that noise. Her vision sharpened and adjusted to the night, eyes settling on the bookcase.

And just like that, the hauntings began again.

The room had gone silent, and the bookcase was still. Espurr silently stood, weary joints and muscles complaining. She ignored it, scanning the room for that dark figure again. Pancham’s tale wandered through her head briefly, as it had for the past week. The ghost she kept seeing in her room… it was dumb. She shouldn’t be putting stock in ghost stories, especially ones from Pancham. But even so, she remembered what Watchog had muttered about ghosts back at the school. Could it be… a crooked ‘mon?

Pretty sure that these are just those Litwick being jerks here, just saying.

Whatever it was, it seemed to be gone now. Only the thin drapes that swayed like ghosts with the breeze outside moved. Falling back on her rump in the straw bed, Espurr rubbed her eyes and let out a yawn. A loud sound made her jolt again, jumping to her feet at the unexpected noise and casting her eyes to the bookcase.

It was violently rattling, shaking in place and creating loud noises just like the dresser had before. That was the last straw. Espurr was tired of this. Crooked ‘mon or not, maybe she could locate it and just boot it out instead. Taking a breath and drowning out the rattling, she closed her eyes and let her sixth sense take over.

Somehow, this seems like a very, very ill-advised idea given that Ghost-types in general are advantaged over Psychic-types like you, Espurr.

She couldn’t see with it. Not the way she could with her eyes. But she could feel. Reaching out with her sixth sense was like seeing the world through touch, touch that painted more and more of its surroundings as it went. And she could feel right away that there was something in this room with her. It shone brightly in her mind’s eye, allowing her to locate it and let her mind’s grasp close around the entity. And then she yanked.

It yanked back, but Espurr was prepared for that. She didn’t let go. She pulled back. And slowly, from behind the shelf, she extracted with her mind’s grip a single lone blue flame. It hovered in the air statically for a second, desperately trying to escape Espurr’s psychic pull in whichever direction it could. Espurr was able to keep it in place for only a few seconds before she lost her grip and it zoomed out the window, flying right through the drapes.

Espurr ran up to the window, pushed apart the thin curtains, and watched it go. By the time she spied it, it was just about gone. She saw it fly down the square’s south exit and disappear from view. The flame seemed familiar to her, like she’d seen it somewhere before. But where… ?

Oh, it's those hitodama from her dream sequence. Though it looks like that wasn't really a dream after all (as you've alluded to in the past elsewhere), even if I have no idea what on earth was happening to her in that case in those moments.

The adrenaline left her soon after the excitement did, and she began to feel weary again. Unable to put her paw on where she’d seen the flame, Espurr retreated to her bed and curled up in it again. The thought crossed her mind: What if it came back? But her mind grew foggier and foggier as sleep claimed it once again, and soon she was out like a light.

In her dreams, something came, and only then did she realize where she had seen that flame.

Yeah, I called it.

The incident with the treehouse had made a lasting impression upon Espurr, Tricky, and all the others. It had been just about a week since, and none of them had gone on any adventures or dared to venture outside the bounds of Serenity Village in a while. Even Tricky was less jumpy and energetic than usual, and today she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Audino had left early on a list of appointments, and she wouldn’t be back until after the sun had gone down. That meant Espurr had the run of the house to herself, and no supervision for the day. She donned the exploration bag she’d become used to wearing, grabbed an apple on the way out, and ate it on the way down to the south side of town.

The Crooked House. That was the only place outside Espurr’s dreams she had seen one of those flames before, and she intended to investigate. It was close to the hill with the big tree but not past, and near enough to town that if the beheeyem came looking, she’d be able to flee and get help before they caught her.

Waaaaait a minute, I swear I don't remember that happening with the Crooked House. And I even went back to check the usages of 'blue' and 'flame' to make sure I wasn't tripping up. What chapter did she see this in again?

The house stood on its lone island, isolated from the rest of the world by nothing but a lake of water and a rickety old bridge. The ominous clouds of mist circling that island and only that island were stronger today, thicker, more powerful. They were reaching further across the lake now, tendrils that were slowly but surely snaking out over the water in all directions. Looking at it made Espurr shiver. But it wasn’t like she could go back. If it was coming to her room, she needed to get to the bottom of it.

She also remembered where all—snap—most of the rotting spots were. She only snapped one board on her way across the creaking bridge, and was able to keep her balance on the tilted planks easily. They each felt like they’d break away as she stepped on them, but she stepped carefully and lightly and they held her weight.

It got colder the closer she went, an unnatural chill that felt deeply wrong when the path just behind had been so warm. It seeped into her bones and filled her with dread, made her feel cold from the inside out. It felt so strongly like she should be anywhere else, that she shouldn’t go any further.

Espurr: "... Yeah, I really should've come with Tricky or something."

Also: >break te break

... Are you missing a letter 'h' there, or is that deliberate?

Doubt seeped into her mind. She didn’t know if it was hers or from the house. How did she know she was on the right track? The mist cloaking the island veiled the outside like a blanket. It felt like a trap, waiting for her to walk in before it closed behind her.

But then her foot sank into mud instead of stepping on wood. Espurr looked down and then back at the bridge that stretched out behind her. The bridge felt longer, the coldness stronger than ever. She could still go back. A stray thought in the back of her head pushed its way to the front: she wished Tricky was with her. Some company would make her feel less afraid, and Tricky usually knew what to say to lighten the mood.

Also, given that this house is almost certainly a Mystery Dungeon at the very least... yeah, you shouldn't want to be prowling around here on your own anyways, Espurr.

But Tricky wasn’t here; Espurr was, all alone. A decision she was regretting with all her might. Maybe she could go back and find Tricky… but then she’d be too tempted not to come back. She grit her teeth, ignored the cold, and trudged forward through the mud. She’d do a brief investigation, and then be gone. Anything to get the ghosts out of her room.

Walking around the island, she nearly tripped over it again. The strange device she’d seen last time, a pair of engraved cards on some kind of smooth surface embedded in the ground. Espurr got on her paws and knees, inspecting it closely. The colors were dull, the cards made with some kind of metal and engraved with markings that looked less like writing and more like paths… for something.

Waaaait a minute. Magnagate experimentation? Since just saying, this is really giving me some GtI vibes now that I think about it.

Whatever they were, there was too much mud on the console for them to properly slide back and forth. That left them stuck in the middle. Espurr reached a paw forward, doing her best to clean the muck off the surface. It wasn’t clean when she’d finished, but she managed to get enough off so that the cards would slide. She tried sliding them one way, but they didn’t want to go that way. So, she slid them the other.

Nothing changed, but she could have sworn it got colder right there and then.

The house was the same as ever. Two stories tall and a steep attic, shingles that were falling off and a crumbling chimney. Windows that had been bashed in and boarded over, walls colored brown by the erosion of paint and clinging mud. The entire house was at a crooked slant, the foundation on one side crumbling and letting the building lean into the mud. But Espurr was quick to notice that the front doors, dirty and decrepit, were missing their boards.

Espurr: "Pretty sure that wasn't there the last time I was at this place."

She trudged closer to the porch, stopping at the porch stairs. She knew those doors were sealed up. This wasn’t the first time they’d vanished. It was the most supernatural thing she’d seen of the house. Even though she didn’t want to investigate, she had to.

>break the seal

Listening to that voice in your head telling you to pry deeper sounds like a terrible idea if I ever heard one considering what's very strongly implied to be behind this house...

She marched right up to the Barrow’s front doors, and in the absence of knobs that had long ago fallen off, pushed against the wood. They didn’t give. Espurr pressed harder, putting both paws on it. She pressed as hard as she could, and then all of the sudden the rotting wood of the doors snapped forward and she fell straight onto the Barrow’s dirty entrance.

Espurr rolled to her feet as quickly as she could. The doors had broken apart! Calming her beating heart, she stared into the Barrow’s depths, trying to discern something out of the darkness within. It was dark, so black that everything beyond the front doorstep seemed to disappear into a void, sealed away beyond darkness. It was quiet, an absence of sound that not only lacked it, but sucked away any sounds that went in. Espurr experimentally clapped and didn’t hear an echo. Then she caught a scent. [A stench, a strong one, that reminded her of much like something that is dead and rotting. It was stronger than it had ever been, so strong it made Espurr retch on reflex.]

She stumbled away from the door, falling on her back against the porch and catching her breath in large heaves. Her trance was brokEN. [The place… the place was a…]

Coming here was a mistake, a big mistake. She needed to leave, now.

Considering what the gastertext says there... yeah, "a mistake" sounds like a gross understatement. Though I'm not really feeling the way the third word of it was handled since it causes a bit of a verb tense error. One way of sidestepping it would be to do a direct thought from Espurr's PoV kinda like below:

[A stench, a strong one, which made her instantly think to herself...

"Ugh... smells like something is dead and rotting inside."

She didn't remember it being anywhere near this bad last time, and the odor this time was so strong that it made Espurr retch on reflex.]

As for the "The place..." bit, I feel that it might make sense to give a bit more of an explicit hint as to what it is, even if I'm pretty sure the answer is just "Mystery Dungeon". Makes the text more unambiguous for your reader.

Stumbling down the porch doors and practically flying across the mud, Espurr was halfway across the bridge and taking hasty steps when her ears picked up the sound of somemon whistling off-key to themselves.

Nuzleaf. Espurr didn’t have time to properly make her way to land and hide before Nuzleaf walked into her line of vision. Before she could do anything else, he’d already seen her.

“Hah?” she heard him exclaim. He looked angry. “What’r you doin’ on there?! Get off!”

Cowed, Espurr silently did as he said. Nuzleaf grabbed her arm once her feet had touched dry land, and began to drag her off in the direction of the village, mud-caked fur and all.

“Come with me,” Nuzleaf said. “We’re gonna have a talk.”

That's an ill omen if I ever heard one.

Nuzleaf walked into the Village Square with Espurr in hand, who was struggling to keep up with Nuzleaf’s longer legs and brisk pace. He dragged her to a portion of the square far away from the shops, and then crouched down in front of her.

“I don’ wanna ever see you goin’ near tha’ thing again, you understan' me?” he said. “You can go into any mystery dungeon ya want, I don’ care, but you stay away from tha’ place. Understan' me?”

... I didn't realize it until just now, but is Nuzleaf from Grass in this story? Since that speech pattern looks just like what we've seen from the locals there.

“…Fine,” Espurr finally relented after half a minute of Nuzleaf giving her a look that rivaled Watchog’s signature glare. She wasn’t going back anyway, not after what she’d seen, but she felt indignant at being told not to go back there. Like she didn’t have any sense.

I mean, that's kinda been an open question in a couple of scenes thus far, Espurr. :V

“Good,” Nuzleaf said, returning to his normal self in an instant. He stood up straight, and stretched. “Glad we coul’ settle this peacefully.”

He began to walk off, but Espurr followed.

“Wait,” she said. “What’s in the Ancient Barrow? And why were you over there, if it’s such a bad place?” Nuzleaf stopped. He was silent for a brief second.

Nuzleaf: "Tha's spoilers."
Espurr: "'That's spoilers', seriously?" >_>;
Nuzleaf: "Look kid, not everyone's played Super before, a'ight?"

“…I was checkin’ something’,” he said, and then he began to walk along once again. He didn’t answer the first question. Espurr followed.

“I’m coming along,” she said matter-of-factly.

Nuzleaf shrugged. “I won’t stop ya,” he said. “Just stay away from that house.”

Oh hey, it's only marginally less suspicious of an answer than 'that's spoilers' here.

“I think we’ve put this off long enough,” Audino said, following Simipour around his small, square house as he walked. A four-directional archway at the top was all that separated the different rooms in the house from each other, leaving it open for Audino to tail Simipour wherever he went. “You weren’t having these fatigue problems two weeks ago; you need a checkup.”

“What use was the last checkup?” Simipour yawned, discreetly fleeing from the bedroom to the kitchen. Audino followed him. “I feel fine. I appreciate your concern, but it is wholly unneeded here.”

“I insist,” Audino said firmly, stepping in front of Simipour before he could leave the kitchen.

This... sounds like more than just concern for some fatigue problems, just saying.

“As do I.” Simipour sidestepped her and walked into the living room. He sat on the couch that was next to the window and stared at her through eyes that were barely open. “You’re wasting your time.”

[ ]

“That may be…” Audino said, sitting right next to him with her bag. “But so are you.”

Simipour shrugged stubbornly. “I am content to sit right here on this couch for the entire evening.”

“Perfect. Then you’ll be content to sit on that couch while I give you a checkup.”

“Not in the least.” Simipour gave her a frustrating smile that made it clear he was not going quietly. Audino sighed and tried to keep it from becoming a groan of frustration.

I think that it probably makes sense to drop a descriptive paragraph somewhere in this block to better set the scene and mood as to what's going on between these two, since... yeah. That's seven lines of dialogue before we get more than half a sentence of description of the surroundings/ongoing body language and thought process.

“Fine.” Audino dug in her bag, pulling out a piece of paper, a swanna feather quill, and some ink. “If you can’t be bothered to care about your own health, then put the minds of those who do care to rest.” She scribbled something on the paper, then thrust it to him.

“I’m prescribing you a cup of lum berry tea daily. That should calm your nerves and help you sleep easier. I’ll be back in a few days to see how you’re doing.”

... Wouldn't Lum Berry tea have similar effects as drinking Chesto Berry tea, though? Since you can stave off sleep with a Lum Berry just fine.

Simipour yawned. “I’ve been sleeping just fine.”

“Do it anyway, starting today. Just before bed.”

And with that, Audino packed up the quill and ink, rose from the couch, and walked out the door. Simipour looked at the piece of paper in his hands. He yawned again.

It was worth a shot.

Well, that certainly isn't suspicious or concerning at all.

Espurr followed Nuzleaf as they wandered southwards once more, with not a word exchanged in between them. When Espurr passed the Crooked House, surrounded by all that unnatural mist, she glanced at it with a shiver. Nuzleaf walked right on by, quickening his pace so that they both outstripped it quickly.

At some point, not long after they had passed the town limits, Nuzleaf suddenly veered off the path. Espurr watched as he picked up a couple of the bushes and set them aside. When she passed them, she realized they were fake. Nuzleaf took her down a hidden path that the bushes concealed, walking deeper and deeper through the foliage until a strip of green forest was between them and the path.

“Where are we going?” Espurr finally asked, once they had walked a fair bit away from the main trail. They had outstripped the trees now, and were walking on plains of mud and patches of grass that were foreign. Nuzleaf pointed above them both, at the large mountain that outclimbed all the others in the near distance.

“See tha’?” he asked. “Revelation Mountain. Tha’s where we’re headed.”

Espurr: "Uh... that's kinda a long journey, Nuzleaf. Couldn't we just have this talk in town?"

Nuzleaf: "No, we can't."

Espurr looked up at Revelation Mountain. She had seen it several times from a distance, the larg grey peak that stretched above all the other brown ones, but never up close. It had been lost on her before just how large the mountain was. It didn’t look like it was even possible to scale it in a single day.

“I haven’t heard of it,” Espurr settled on for her next words. It was a minute before Nuzleaf responded.

“Revelation Mountain is an ol’ village tale,” Nuzleaf said as they marched up the path. “Legend says there’s somethin’ at tha top of tha’ mountain, somethin’ we were never supposed to lay eyes on. So tha’s why every day, one of us village ‘mon stands at the base o’ the mountain an’ keeps guard. No-mon’s ever been up there.”

Espurr: "... I'm sorry, and why are we going there again if there's something we're not supposed to see up there?" ._.

“Are you standing guard?” Espurr asked.

“I ain’t,” Nuzleaf said. “Then what are we doing?”

“I'm gonna go see it. Wha’s at tha top o' Revelation Mountain. I’ve been all over tha other Con'inents; left this place with a friend when I was still a child. Figure there's still one more con'inent left in me.”

With that speech pattern? Color me doubtful.

“Why this one last?”

“Why?” Nuzleaf shrugged. “Well, I fel’ like it. I was young. I wanted to go explorin’ abroad. Travelled to the Grass Con'inent, travelled to tha Mist Con'inent, travelled to tha Air Con'inent, and saw all the sigh’s to see.”

He pointed up at the mountain again as they walked.

“Tha’ mountain—tha’s my last expedition. My las’ mission before I retire for good. I wanna scope ou' the area today. See wha' I need to climb it."

Also, I'm realizing that this is another one of those long, unbroken blocks of dialogue again. You probably want to drop in a descriptive paragraph into at least one of either this block or the one right before it.

Eventually they reached a plateau where the ground became slightly muddy, and ahead of them was a spring. Nuzleaf bent over and took a drink from it with his hands.

“Drink. It’s clean,” he said. “Water ‘round this mountain’s always clean.”

Now that Espurr thought about it, she was unquestionably parched. She silently took a drink from the spring herself too.

[The mountain only got larger the closer they approached it. It was already so large that Espurr couldn’t even see the peak when she looked up, and by the time that they were at the mountain’s base she could only see the steep cliff that formed the lower mountain.]

Something about this bit feels like it wasn't originally in the same scene as the bit where Espurr was drinking, but by the same token, it doesn't feel like it'd be that hard to tie in with an extra sentence at the start of the last paragraph to the effect of "Espurr finished her drink and carried on with Nuzleaf". Makes it feel like it's a bit smoother of a transition that way.

At some point, Nuzleaf halted, and so did Espurr.

“We’re here,” he whispered sharply. “Go an' hide.”

Unsure of what to make of that command, Espurr hid behind a bush. Nuzleaf walked ahead, and if Espurr peeked over the leaves of the bush far enough, she could just see the bright-yellowish outline of a pokemon standing in the distance.

Hippopatas.

Espurr: "(Mr. Nuzleaf, are we doing something illegal right now? Why are we being so cloak-and-dagger?)" >_>;
Nuzleaf: "(Look, we need that talk on Revelation Mountain, a'ight? Jus' play along here.)"

“Hmm?” Hippopotas turned around at the sound of somemon trudging through the muck towards her. She turned around to look at him, her eyes widening as she caught sight of him waving.

“Mornin’, neighbor!” Espurr heard Nuzleaf call jovially as he walked towards her.

“Iz something ze matter?” Hippopotas asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Nothin’ much,” Nuzleaf said. “Only tha guardin’ order got switched around. I’m today; you’re tamorrow, all tha’.”

[Hippopotas’ eyes widened.]

“Vell…” she said. “ I DO have important farming to do…”

“Go for i’.”

... Quality village guards there. Though I'd personally expand "Hippopotas' eyes widened." into something showing the gears turn in her head more such as her visibly wavering before coming down on the side of "... yeah, I should tend to my birds"

Hippopotas didn’t need any more encouragement than that. She happily trotted straight back down the path, and Espurr had to quickly change her position so that Hippopotas didn’t notice her on the way down. Once Hippopotas was only a speck on the path back to the village, Nuzleaf ushered Espurr back out. Espurr quickly walked up the join Nuzleaf, and looked at the path that lay ahead of them both.

“Bes’ ta get a head start,” said Nuzleaf, and with that he began to hike up the large, steep incline that lay ahead of them. Espurr sent a brief glance back towards the path that lay behind. It would be so easy to opt out now…

But there was no point. She wouldn’t get an opportunity like this again. And so she began to tentatively follow Nuzleaf along the rocky path upward instead.

I mean, let's not forget that Nuzleaf is literally putting you up to this right after dragging you away from a MD and not giving you a straight answer as to why he was there himself.

As much of a born explorer as Tricky usually was, after last week’s encounter no-mon had wanted to go into a dungeon again. They’d exhausted everything to do in the village, but Espurr insisted that they couldn’t go outside the village again until they were sure that the Beheeyem weren’t going to come back again. She was shaken up too, but all this sitting around all day made her antsy and bored.

Wait, but wasn't their hostile encounter outside of a Mystery Dungeon? It might make sense to emphasize why nobody wants to go to a MD, since their train of thought is probably less "we'll get hurt inside" and more "we'll get jumped by those weirdoes in the boonies".

So after frolicking around in the woods on the path to the School Grounds, she lay on her back in the grass by the large tree on the hill, staring up into the sun through the tree’s canopy. The sun was high up in the sky and shone directly over her, but the light was filtered through the tree’s leaves and branches and didn’t blind her nearly as much as it would have otherwise.

At least she could spy the village from here, which meant it wasn’t too far from the village… right?

Voices in the distance met her ears, and she lazily looked up from her spot in the shade of the tree to see the two pokemon she wanted to see the least strolling down the path: Pancham and Shelmet.

I mean, would she really rather have seen Deerling there instead?

They hadn’t seen her, at least not yet. It looked like they were goofing off between themselves, laughing loudly and jabbering words Tricky didn’t care to hear. Pancham was picking up rocks for his slingshot.

Tricky sighed out a puff of angry smoke and pressed herself further down into the grass. She didn’t need another day out with those two—just thinking about them made her begin to heat up inside with anger. If they just passed her without knowing she was there at all, then she could go back to forgetting they existed and her day could be good again.

It was too late. She stuck out like a sore paw amongst all the dark green shrubbery and flowers; Pancham and Shelmet spotted her almost immediately.

“Hey, look, it’s the troublemaker!”

Well that attempt to hide from them certainly went well.

Pancham and Shelmet jeered at her from a distance. Tricky tried to blot it out. She was seething, barely keeping it together. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone?

A pebble whizzed high over her head and thwacked against the tree branch. Tricky had to look once that happened. Pancham and Shelmet waved at her from below on the path.

“Hey!” Pancham called. “We’re over here, loser!”

Tricky: "Ugh. I thought that they were getting better... were they only just acting nice because Deerling was around?" >_>;

That was it. Tricky leapt up from her spot amongst the grass, sped over to Pancham and Shelmet, and before either of them could even register that she was charging towards them she had already bowled Pancham over and pinned him to the ground.

Pancham looked up at her with a sudden shock in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in ever. He didn’t even try to push her off. Good. She wanted him to feel shock. Behind her, Shelmet angrily yelled something in his high, almost squeaky voice, but she didn’t hear it.

“Say you’re sorry,” she spat in Pancham’s face with all the vitriol she could muster.

“For what?” Pancham frantically asked, like he was innocent. “All I did was shoot a ro—”

Somehow that doesn't sound terribly innocent considering that this is a Fire-type and... yeah, even before the rudeness of flinging rocks at randos, Fire-types and rocks don't mix too well.

“For all of it!” Tricky snapped. “You tied me up in a tree and hit me with rocks! You tricked me and Espurr so you could laugh at us later! You’re mean all the time!” With each accusation, she pressed her paws further into Pancham’s chest and leaned in further. “And now you’re just hanging out with everymon like nothing’s wrong?”

Pancham seemed to regain some of his former wit just long enough to respond. “You’re saying I can’t hang out with pokemon if I wa—"

“No!” Tricky yelled in his face. “I’m not letting you walk away. Apologize!” Pancham didn’t say anything, but the insulted look he had on his face spoke volumes.

“Do it!” Tricky growled. “Or I’ll roast your face off.”

Well, this encounter is certainly going places. I mean, I can't fully blame Tricky, but...

Shelmet, who had been sitting frozen where he was the entire time, finally mustered up the courage to say something.

“Get off him!” he cried, inching forward with his shell, but a single look of Tricky’ bared teeth stopped him in his tracks.

“And you too!” Tricky said. “You just help out whenever he’s being mean! You’re no better!”

Shelmet couldn’t meet Tricky’s eyes, but stayed silent the same as Pancham.

Tricky: "Wow. That's really all it takes to shut you up?" :|
Shelmet: "Sh-Shut up! I just don't handle heat well, that's all!" >///<

“You’re both bullies!” Tricky accused. “You’re mean, gross, dumb pokemon who like to torment others for fun! And you better apologize now. Both of you.”

“Alright, sorry,” Pancham said, in the most dismissive tone that suggested he was not sorry at all. “Now get off of me, loser.”

Tricky’s eyes narrowed. Pancham’s widened—

Tricky put every ounce of anger, vitriol, and hate she had into her next attack, and spewed a torrent of red-hot flame into Pancham’s face for an entire five seconds. Pancham knocked Tricky off of him, getting up to his feet and immediately turning tail. He scurried off without Shelmet towards the village, hiding his face with his paws. She even heard him sobbing as he went.

... Well, you can't say that she didn't warn him. Though I wonder how much of a mark that left and am a little surprised Pancham didn't make more of a racket in those five seconds, since... yeah.

Shelmet: "Uh... yeah. I think I'm just gonna..."

With Pancham gone Tricky turned back to Shelmet, who immediately looked frightened.

“S-sorry,” he muttered in a voice meeker than Goomy’s, and hopped off as fast as he could in the direction Pancham had gone.

Tricky watched the both of them go, neither of them daring to look back at her as they ran.

Somehow, her victory felt hollow.

I mean, you're only most likely going to get an earful from someone's parents if that bit at the end did more than minor injuries, so... yeah, this feels like one of those 'victories' where you increasingly realize as time goes by that you didn't exactly improve things.

The statue had been stored on the Gardevoir, because there was more storage room on the Gardevoir then there was on the Demetrius. The Gardevoir was making a quick return journey to Mist to drop off the statue, where it could later be transferred to Cloud Nine for further inspection, but the Demetrius—and everymon aboard it—had stayed behind to comb the bay off Grass and search for any more anomalies of the same vein. Ninetales had stayed behind with them. He knew he was needed to sign a thousand sheets of paperwork back on Cloud Nine, but paperwork ground him down and the Demetrius was his personal ship anyway. A day on the high sea might take some of the stress off before he had to return to his real work.

Something tapped Ninetales on the shoulder. He quickly glanced to the left to see what it was , but there was nothing there. Or something had been there. Ninetales inwardly smirked. He knew this game. A tap came from his right shoulder. Ninetales turned his head to look right, then whipped it left at the last second—

—He was promptly half-tackled to the deck by a sylveon. Barely stopping them both from tumbling over the deck of the ship with his tails, the two pokemon lovingly nuzzled one another.

“I thought you were supervising the Gardevoir,” Ninetales chuffed once they had finished.

“And I thought you were going to do paperwork,” Sparkleglimmer purred back.

I see that HAPPI is a bit relaxed about workplace relationships. Though I think I can already hear the gagging and retching from a few coworkers in the background. :V

Also, remember to keep your ship naming schemes consistent.

“I won’t talk about the paperwork if you don’t talk about the Gardevoir.”

“Deal.”

“Ah… excuse me?”

Both Ninetales and Sparkleglimmer looked up from their nuzzling. A lone phanphy sat in front of them; looking almost a bit flustered.

“Yes?” Ninetales asked before Sparkleglimmer could scare him off. He knew she had a short temper.

Phanpy: "Shouldn't you two be doing that sort of stuff off-hours?"

Sparkleglimmer:

Phanpy: "E-Er... right, as I was saying..." ._.

“I thought you should know…” the phanphy began uncomfortably, flapping its ears in nervousness. “We found another one.”

The chains of the pulley creaked, jangled, and ever-so-slowly rose. A few pokemon in the water gave the go-head, and the pokemon pulling the chains up on-deck gave it another heave. Ninetales and Sparkleglimmer followed the phanphy onto the rear deck of the ship, where another statue had been half-pulled out of the water.

It was Rayquaza. Ninetales’ heart sank. This statue of Rayquaza had the same horrified expression upon its face that the statue of Lugia had had, and after hearing about what had happened in Pokemon Plaza Ninetales was loath to believe that this was somemon’s idea of a large-scale joke.

Ah yes, just the thing you need to see after your sickeningly sweet lovey-dovey moment.

Sparkleglimmer didn’t have the same reaction as Ninetales, but she hadn’t lived as long as he had. Most pokemon hadn’t. Ninetales had even talked to Rayquaza once, purely by chance one day when the legendary had decided to take a rest break on Mt. Freeze. He was a bit too proud, but he had a cultured sense of literature (he hoarded old human books) and was a fairly decent pokemon, as long as you earned his respect first and didn’t insult him in any way, shape, or form. Seeing him like this hurt Ninetales more than anymon else on that deck probably knew. He lowered his head in silent mourning.

Oh, he's that Ninetales. Though I have to wonder what this guy thinks of what's become of Pokémon Plaza, since... yeah. He's kinda short some old buddies at this point.

Then he felt the sadness briefly leave him, and he glanced left to see Sparkleglimmer’s feeler on his back. She had a slightly worried look on her face, so he forced himself to cheer up for her sake. Now wasn’t a time for mourning anyway.

Phanpy: "Uhm, sir? About that 'time for mourning' bit, need I remind you that we just found-?" ._.
Ninetales: "Ix-Nay e-they egativity-nay inay ont-fray ofay y-may over-lay!" >.<;

“How much storage space is available on the Demetrius?” he asked. The phanphy looked up, glad to have something to have orders to occupy its nervousness for the present time.

“The cargo holds were emptied of all but essential supplies before we set out,” said Phanphy. “Approximately three of the four storage holds, sir.”

Ninetales took a deep breath and nodded solemnly. That would hold Rayquaza.

“We’re turning around,” he announced. “Store Rayquaza in hold B and set course for the Mist Continent.”

“I had paperwork I needed to do anyway,” he muttered on the way out.

... Wait, how big is the Demetrius such that it can just casually hold Ray in one of its four holds?

Though reminder again re: ship name conventions.

Greenery ended where Revelation Mountain began. Espurr followed Nuzleaf up the hill, which quickly became a rocky mountain pathway once they were up far enough. Nuzleaf moved with a newfound energy that Espurr had never seen in him before, walking and hopping gracefully between the rocks of the pathway and shimmying away from its edges expertly. Despite having gotten faster over the last two weeks, Espurr found it hard to keep up, especially as the path got narrower and she had to take care not to fall off the cliff as they went on.

They walked for hours and barely scaled the base of the mountain. A couple of times Espurr nearly slipped and fell, but she quickly recovered herself and continued onwards. The path wasn’t that steep or narrow yet.

Espurr: "Huh. This guy really must've gone on that world tour of his. Since he certainly knows a thing or two about getting around." .-.

Soon, the sun was it its highest point in the sky, and they were high enough up that the heights would have made Espurr woozy if she cared to stare at them. She was making a point of not looking down. She quickly hurried to catch up with Nuzleaf, who was briskly hiking up the trail with not even a pant of exhaustion.

She cleared her throat as they walked, trying her best to keep a respectable pace with Nuzleaf.

“It’s a long climb up,” she said. “I was hoping you might tell me why no-mon ever goes near the Ancient Barrow. So we don’t get bored while we climb.”

Espurr: "Even if part of me is wondering why I'm asking this just now." >_>;

Nuzleaf, effortlessly hiking up the slop ahead of them, didn’t spare a look back at Espurr.

“Even I don’ know that,” he said. “I jus’ know whenever I go near tha place, I get this feelin’. Like it’s evil. Like it shoul' be left well alone. Everymon jus’ leaves it be for that reason. Only reason it’s still standin’ is ‘cause no-mon’s brave enough ta tear it down. No-mon wants ta look at tha place. And tha’s all I know.” And then he continued hiking again without a word.

Soon, Nuzleaf stopped up ahead. He stood outside the entrance of what was obviously a very large, very dangerous mystery dungeon. Espurr could see it in the little things, how the path just ahead of them looked off in all the wrong ways and the air sky seemed to ripple.

“So it’s a mystery dungeon,” Nuzleaf muttered to himself. He thought for a moment as Espurr studied the dungeon entrance. It was just like Poliwrath River. The place was stronge, it exuded evil; she could feel it. And this far up the mountain, if they ever got trapped in there… no wonder this place was guarded.

“…I know wha' I need now.” Nuzleaf turned around.

“We’re goin’ home.” That was a good idea. Espurr agreed.

Espurr: "T-To stay, I hope? Since that didn't exactly look like a safe place to go poking around."

Nuzleaf: "Look, we're going home for now. Good enough, right?"

It was sundown by the time that Espurr and Nuzleaf walked back into the village square. Nuzleaf scratched the back of his head.

“Well…” he started. “Ah… Good run today. We’ll go again next month when I have guard duty; soun’ good? Maybe you can bring your fennekin friend along for tha ride too.”

“Perhaps,” Espurr said. If she knew Tricky, Tricky would love that.

Considering how Tricky's been getting markedly more cautious about MDs... I dunno how safe a bet that'd be, Espurr. Especially with a month's worth of shenanigans in between. Even if I really doubt you two are going to get more than about a week before things go really sideways in Serenity.

And then they parted. Nuzleaf walked back west, and Espurr entered Audino’s house. The day had been more exhausting on her than she realized, and she quickly made herself cozy with one of the few books in Audino’s house that she hadn’t read. Which happened to be a cookbook, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Espurr was reading about how to properly roast different types of berries when Audino walked in the door and set her bag down next to it. She collapsed in the chair next to Espurr, letting out a prolonged breath of weariness.

“And what did you get up to today?” she asked after a minute.

“I climbed a mountain,” Espurr said matter-of-factly, turning the page of her book.

Like Espurr had expected, Audino didn’t even blink—much less take her seriously. “Did you now?”

Wait, so just how many wild "oh, we did [X]" tales has Espurr been telling Audino for the past umpteenth weeks for her to get that level of nonchalant reaction? :V

“I also went ghost-hunting and explored a haunted house,” said Espurr.

“Sounds like you’ve been having fun,” Audino said. She still wasn't taking Espurr seriously. “It’s been appointment after appointment for me. That principal is nearly as stubborn as his second-in-command sometimes…

Espurr: "... (Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but you'd think this 'mon would give more of a reaction considering how I got stuck in a Mystery Dungeon as part of my final exam.)"

“Have you been going out with your friends lately?” she asked to change the subject.

“Not much today,” Espurr said. “They were all busy.”

Espurr didn’t know that for sure, but after yesterday she was pretty certain they hadn’t been planning any get-togethers.

Wait, is that in reference to when Tricky burned Pancham's face or is that referring to something else? It might make sense to make the narration a bit more explicit either way.

They sat together in silence for a while, Espurr reading and Audino silently trying to keep herself from nodding off.

“You know what, I’m too tired to cook today,” Audino finally said. She got up from the chair, stretching. “Fancy a visit to Kangaskhan’s?”

Espurr: "... Isn't that a bar? I'm literally young enough to be in school right now."

Audino: "It's more a family restaurant that has alcohol on the side. Most of us have more restraint than Watchog." >_>;

The Café Connection was the only building still lit after dark. Espurr followed Audino into the building, where the sudden change in lighting temporarily blinded her. She had only been in the building once before, and never at night. It was mostly quiet, but there were still enough pokemon in the diner for there to be an audible amount of noise in the background at all times. Audino walked up to the counter and took a seat, bidding Espurr to do the same. It was only once she had sat down that she noticed Watchog.

Oh, speak of the devil...

Audino noticed as well. Silently, she edged Espurr over and attempted to sit a little farther away from him. Watchog looked at them, taking a sip of his drink.

“What?” he asked flatly. “Got a problem with me?”

Audino didn’t answer that.

“Your problem.” Watchog took another swig from his drink. Audino took a deep breath.

Espurr: "... (He's not going to make it through this scene sober, is he?)" -_-;
Audino: "(... Yeah, I'll take the under on that.)"

“How’s guarding the school been?” she asked with veiled politeness.

“Painful,” said Watchog. “I’ve been seeing things around the grounds since day one. Blue flames. Couple of days ago somemon broke into the library. I think there’s a thief in the village. And mark my words, next time they show up I’ll be ready for them.”

He punctuated his statement with another swig of the drink. Audino fell silent after that, but the tension between them was beginning to draw purple scribbles all over Espurr’s brain. It was suffocating. She got down from the stool, unwilling to be stuck next to the two teachers any longer.

“I’ll be back soon,” she said, before Audino could open her mouth. “I just want some fresh air.”

Espurr: "Also, I can tell this moment between you two is gonna go places, and I'd like to be far, far away for it."
Audino: "Mrph, suit yourself."

Espurr walked down the restaurant’s aisle, looking around idly as she went. She didn’t recognize any of the customers around, nor did they pay attention to her.

“Hey!!”

Espurr spun around at the sound of the high-pitched noise. Ursaring waved animatedly at her from a nearby table, pieces of food stuck in between her claws.

Small typo there.

Espurr: "... Oh berry crackers, she's gonna blurt out that I've been doing missions in front of the entire diner, isn't she?"

“Uncle—” she began, referencing a larger, gruffer ursaring with darker fur. “This is one of the pokemon who helped me evolve in that dungeon the other day! Say hi!”

Uncle frowned, an eternal look of apparent displeasure on his face. He stared at Espurr flatly.

“Uncle,” Usaring urged with a grin, elbowing Uncle a little. “Say hi.”

There was a moment of silence. Uncle grunted at Espurr, then returned to his meal. Usaring laughed it off immediately after.

“He’s like that with strangers a lot. Anyway, it’s nice to see you! And thanks for the other day! I hope that toothpaste came in handy—”

Espurr: "Uh yeah, it's great catching up with you and all, but can you not talk about this so publicly right about now?"

Ursaring clamped her claws over her mouth immediately after saying that. She glanced at Uncle to see if he had caught that or not. Uncle simply let out a sigh, something between disapproval and defeat.

“It’ll come in handy at some point,” Espurr said, blanching nervously before Uncle’s demeanor. Stares directed in her direction always made her crack, and Uncle’s looked like he was two seconds away from growling at somemon. “I was just about to get some fresh air. I’ll go do that now. Bye.”

With that, she scampered off in the direction she had come, heading out the café door.

“…Weird kid,” Uncle said, after she had left.

Espurr: "Oh thank goodness, I thought my cover was blown for a second."

Espurr walked outside the doors of the café and leaned against the wall. She let out a breath of relief, closing her eyes and rubbing her head to ease the beginnings of a headache.

“It’s weird to see you out late.” For the third time that day, Espurr jumped in startlement. She looked around to see Deerling sitting nearby.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked.

Espurr: "Seriously, what is it with people and sneaking up on me today?" >_>;
Deerling: "Have you tried paying better attention to your surroundings?"

Deerling snorted. “Mum doesn’t care where I am, as long as I’m not holed up in my room all day. I take her up on it sometimes. What about you?”

“I live over there.” Espurr pointed towards the house on the other side of the square.

[ ]

“I guess you’re neighbors with Pancham, then.”

“And Shelmet,” Espurr added.

[ ]

“I’m not as interested in Shelmet.”

“…So you’re interested in Pancham?”

“H—” Deerling dug her front hooves into the ground in embarrassment. “You know I didn’t mean it that way!”

She snorted and kicked away a pebble next to her.

I'd recommend dropping in one or two description paragraphs into this block to add breaks between the lines of dialogue and better show off the mindset and mannerisms of these two. The two places I highlighted felt like the most natural places to do that.

“Listen,” she said. “Something’s been bugging me about the sleepover last week, and I wanted to ask about it. Sorry if this sounds weird, but… that ‘mon in the story you told. Was she you?”

Espurr’s blood drained.

“…What if she was?” was all she was able to muster for a response.

Seriously, all you had to do was say 'No.'

“Is that a yes?” Deerling asked, undeterred. Espurr was cornered, and she knew it. If she said nothing or made up an excuse to leave, it’d look suspicious, but she’d waited too long to be able to pass it off with a ‘no’.

“Maybe,” Espurr finally settled on. She didn’t see the point of hiding it much longer. “How did you figure it out?”

“Helps that I don’t actually know anything about you before you turned up with Tricky last week of school. And those ‘mon that attacked us. The beheewhatever. Those were also—”

“Yes,” Espurr cut in. “They weren’t supposed to get this close to the village, I don’t know how they found me.”

Deerling: "Because they're actively searching for you and you've been hanging around one place this entire time?" >_>;
Espurr: "... I mean, when you put it that way..."

In hindsight, it was an inevitability that the beheeyem were going to find their way here. The chilling realization was setting in that Espurr didn’t have any plan of action for when that happened.

“So you’ve been keeping a lot of secrets from us,” Deerling said. That made a sudden wave of indignation rise up in Espurr.

“Who said it was your business to know my secrets?” Espurr asked, unable to keep a tone of anger from leaping into her voice. “My past belongs to me.”

Except it didn’t. She’d like it back right about now, please and thanks.

Espurr: "... Right. The whole amnesia thing." .-.
Deerling: "So for all you know, you could be putting us in even more danger just by being here?" >_>;
Espurr: "Uh... w-we don't know that?"

“Listen,” Deerling said again, and this time her voice lowered down to a growl. “I don’t know what’s going on, and frankly I don’t care.” She jutted a hoof into Espurr’s chest fluff. “But keep it far away from us.”

“I don’t think I can promise that,” Espurr said, trying to look unperturbed.

“Why. Not.”

“Because I don’t know what’s going on either.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Deerling hopped to her feet, glaring angrily at Espurr. “Just like you ‘didn’t know’ about the beheeyem?"

Espurr: "Considering how everything from before about a few weeks ago is kinda murky... yes?"

Deerling:

“Those beheeyem are after me and that’s all I know,” Espurr swiftly retorted, taking a graceful step back. And you’re supposed to be a fabled savior of the world, which means that somehow, this world needs saving. Espurr left that part out. “They’re after me, and only me. If I tell pokemon, who says they won’t come after you too?”

Deerling’s rage was palpable enough that Espurr could swipe at it with her paws. But Deerling looked to the side anyway, and twinges of doubt among the red eating at the corners of Espurr's vision told her that Deerling knew she had a point.

“Urrgh…” Deerling collapsed on her haunches with a defeated growl. “I wish we could go back to before the last two weeks ever happened.”

She's still that butthurt over getting fought to a draw in that duel, isn't she?

“Well, we’re here anyway,” Espurr said. “There’s no point running.”

“So what are you going to do when those beheeyem things come around again?” Deerling asked. “And I’d better hear you have a plan, because I’m not going to be the one saving everymon’s tails if you get caught.”

Espurr didn’t have gabite’s exploration bag with her, but she knew its contents by heart. At the least, she had something to defend herself with if it came to that.

“I’ll come up with something,” Espurr said.

Deerling: "... I feel safer already just hearing that. Truly reassuring."

Espurr: "Look, can you stop being such a debbie downer here already? Or else provide some constructive suggestions if you have that little faith?" >_>;
Deerling: "I mean, there's always you skipping town-"
Espurr: "We just established that we didn't know that that would accomplish anything!"
Deerling: "Well that's not true, it'd mean that I wouldn't need to put up with you."

Deerling looked like the next words she was about to say were knives on her tongue. “And… you’d better tell Tricky too. You two hang out often, she deserves to know.”

Espurr nodded. She hadn’t seen Tricky today… she’d say something tomorrow.

Deerling got up and walked around Espurr, heading to the south.

“Have a good night,” she said bluntly in passing. Espurr watched her go, then leaned against the wall of the café. She stared up at the night sky, looking at the sliver of a crescent that was the moon. It was a little brighter than she remembered it being.

A plan…

Oh boy... considering what Espurr's last few plans have been like, I can't tell whether this is going to be clever or terrible.

Lightning flashed, but it was half a minute before thunder crashed. Sparkleglimmer didn’t like the look of the clouds on the horizon. She knew it was only a storm—Cloud Nine had weathered many storms before—but something about that storm unnerved her. There wasn’t much that could unnerve her. Turning her gaze from the window that offered a front-row view of the dark, building clouds, she picked up the rest of the paperwork Ninetales was supposed to sign tonight with her bottom ribbons and used the top ones to shut the door of Ninetales’ office behind her as she walked out.

It was a Sunday, and many of the facilities on Cloud Nine were closed, which left the place completely deserted. There would be no-mon hurry-scurrying around (at least, not above deck), so Ninetales had wanted to do his paperwork in the frigid cold sea air. When Sparkleglimmer had asked why he never used his office anymore, he said working outside reminded him of Mt. Freeze.

That sounds like a pretty terrible environment to get anything productive done in given that Mt. Freeze is more or less constant snow and gale-force winds. :V

Ninetales:

She walked across the large park that made up the massive front deck of Cloud Nine, where Ninetales lounged near the edges of the deck. How all this greenery reminded him of that barren old mountain, she would never know. His ears twitched as she approached him from behind, and that was how she knew that he knew she was there.

“You forgot these,” she whispered in his ear, neatly setting the paperwork beside him. Ninetales was busy reading through a ledger of documents he had probably been putting off for weeks, but he hummed in acknowledgement to let her know he was listening. Sparkleglimmer took a seat beside him, looking at the storm system that loomed in front of them. Lightning flashed. Thunder crashed a little sooner this time.

“I don’t like how that storm looks,” Sparkleglimmer said. “I think we should go inside. You wouldn’t want to get caught in that with all your paperwork.”

Ninetales looked up from the ledger he was almost done reading through, glancing at the clouds dismissively.

“It’s nothing but a storm,” he said. “We would get blizzards ten times worse on Mt. Freeze in the winter.”

I don't think allowing half your paperwork to get blown away by the weather counts as productivity, but you do you, Ninetales.

There were times when Sparkleglimmer almost wanted to club Ninetales over the head with something, and this was one of them. Did he not understand that you couldn’t just sit in a thunderstorm and do paperwork like nothing was happening? Ninetales turned back to his ledger, and it was clear that his mind was made up. Sparkleglimmer glanced at the storm ahead. She heard the thunder crash almost simultaneously with the lightning.

No. No this 'mon does not given how he's shrugging it off with "meh, I've seen worse" :V

Sparkleglimmer took a deep breath, then discreetly planted her feeler on Ninetales’ back. The air began to hum, and a few black sparks flickered around the tip of her ribbon. Before Ninetales even had a clue of what was happening a sense of calm spread through him, and the normally astute look on his face became dazed. In the state of calm that Sparkleglimmer had him in, he’d be more susceptible to suggestion. Sparkleglimmer didn’t like to do it in public if she could help it, but the situation called for it.

“This storm is awful,” she breathed in his ear. “You want to get inside before you’re caught in it.”

Ninetales slowly nodded. She removed her feeler, and slowly Ninetales began to return to his normal state of mind. But the suggestion was still there. Nine times out of ten he would follow it.

Sparkleglimmer: "Ninetales, please tell me this isn't the 1/10 ..." >_>;
Ninetales: "I'm just saying, this storm isn't really fazing me at the moment."

True to her predictions, Ninetales stood up, gently picking up the paperwork with his mouth. He began to trot off towards the central government building in the distance, his tails lazily swishing behind him as he went. A few sheets of paperwork still lay on the ground in front of Sparkleglimmer. Sparkleglimmer sighed. For somemon who claimed to have a good memory, he was very forgetful.

Thunder crashed. Sparkleglimmer didn’t see the lightning, but the sound of the thunder kicked her into gear. She picked up the sheets of paperwork Ninetales had left behind in her ribbons, then walked after him into the building.

Sparkleglimmer: "Oh thank goodness, I was starting to worry that I'd have to wait for the rain to chase him in." >_>;

The telltale whir of the engines under the deck began to start up once again, and within seconds the airspace around Cloud Nine had a slight sheen to it. Sparkleglimmer glanced out the window as they passed it. The protection fields had been raised. That meant the storm was too close for comfort. Or, it meant that they’d be going through it. Knowing the muk-head who was in charge of steering this thing, probably the second one.

You probably want to make it explicit that Cloud Nine is floating in the air much earlier on in the scene, since I actually was assuming that it was airborne from some of your art pieces, but I actually don't remember if it was ever explicitly stated earlier in the story that C9 can fly. Even if so, you want a reminder here since that's kinda a major setting detail, and you'd logically want to draw attention to it as part of your first depiction of it onscreen.

After Sparkleglimmer’s intervention, Ninetales had been more than happy to finish the paperwork in his office. And it was just as well, because the storm raging outside was severe beyond belief. Even from here, Sparkleglimmer could hear the howling of the wind and the telltale crash of thunder from outside. She couldn’t help but glance out the window at the storm, as if seeing what was happening instead of just hearing it would help her feel better about it.

The outside was pitch-black, illuminated for only a second at a time by flashes of lightning. She could see countless black flakes of dust swirling around in the clouds, like debris picked up from a dust storm.

“It’s only a storm,” Ninetales muttered from his desk. “Only a storm.”

Narrator: "It's not only a storm."

Whether that was meant for her or himself, Sparkleglimmer would probably never know.

She turned her attention back towards the window, her ears zoning in on the howling of the wind. It no longer sounded like just wind to her. It sounded like there was something in the storm, shrieking and howling in the background. Because surely that high-pitched scream that had just reverberated through the clouds wasn’t the wind whistling through something.

“Only a storm…” Ninetales muttered to himself.

Thunder crashed again. Sparkleglimmer didn’t see the lightning. She didn’t want to anymore.

Well, that's ever so slightly concerning. Though I suppose that'll be something to explore in greater depth once C9 gets revisited in the story... maybe.

Slowly coming to. Espurr awoke in her straw bed, gazing up at the roof of her bedroom. It must have been the middle of the night, because the room was as dark as ever, and Espurr could barely see a thing.

…Wait. That wasn’t right. It was never this dark at night. There was always some moonlight filtering in—hadn’t the moon been especially bright tonight?—or at least the glow of the luminous moss streetlamps outside to offset some of the darkness. This darkness was like being trapped in a box. Something was wrong.

Espurr: "... Hey Audino? Does Serenity have a power grid? Since I think it's out right about now."

And so, using her knowledge of the room’s layout to navigate, Espurr headed for the window to see what had happened to all the light. Gazing out through the window’s crossbars, she saw nothing but more blackness. Impossible blackness. Darker than the doors of the Ancient Barrow, darker than the night sky, blackness that she had only seen in one place before.

And then it all clicked for Espurr. This blackness was familiar to her. She knew where she was. And that meant…

At Espurr’s will the walls of her bedroom began to crumble away, disintegrating into nothingness until she was left standing in the middle of the blackness.

This was the Dream. It was back.

Espurr: "Oh no..."

They came. The voices, whispering all around her, spinning up into a massive vortex that towered over her and was somehow blacker than the blackness itself.

And then the louder voice, the one that had been taunting Espurr every time she had entered the dreamscape, spoke in its cacophony of raspy howls:

…Hello.

Well that's certainly an ending there. I've mentioned in passing before that Psychic Sheep gives me some PMMM vibes at times. And, yeah. This is one of those moments where you can almost hear that show's second ED kick up in the background.

Alright, the post-mortem:

It's a bit of a transitional chapter, but the chapter did a good job at selling the sense that something is very, very wrong, and not just in Serenity Village. The entire time, I was waiting for the shoe to drop, and based off that final scene, it might have finally started. It was also interesting to get a good solid first look at Cloud Nine, since it really showcases the higher tech level in this setting that isn't always immediately visible to the eye. And there's a story to be told about why that technology seems to be not so widely dispersed and what sort of deal with the devil it requires to run given the hints that its very operation is undermining the world everyone lives in.

As for things that I didn't like so much. Mostly things related to bits where I felt there ought to be more description. Especially in the scene on Cloud Nine. I admittedly thought that the bits with Nuzleaf felt like a bit of a tease, though there might have been some hints going on there about what his role in the story will be (well, beyond the obvious) that I didn't quite pick up on. Perhaps some of that is on me as a reader, but if there were some hints about him beyond what I picked up... might want to be a bit less subtle about it.

All-and-all, nice work @SparklingEspeon . And I'll be looking forward to getting through the next two chapters over the remaining 2 weeks of Review Blitz.

 

[kintsugi]

Hey, back for Chapter 15. My comedy of errors in not being able to count for catnip continues.

I enjoyed this chapter a lot, and perhaps more than I was expecting. I admit a lot of the Mawile/Ampharos/Archen asides tend to fall off the radar for me, especially in my earlier reads when they were more interspersed into the Tricky/Espurr chapters themselves, and I think this chapter actually gave me really good insight both into 1) why these characters are compelling and 2) why, despite them being compelling, I wasn't super compelled by them in their earlier appearances in the narrative.

(Apologies, btw, if you've already restructured the earlier chapters since I've last read, since it's been 3000 years and you've been doing a lot of backediting. I did a quick skim before writing this but I can/have been very wrong on that + my ability to quickly digest 100k words is just not there any more lol)

"Every year, thousands of tons of freight are hauled off the Grass Continent for use on Air, Water, and Mist. Do the rescue guilds of Grass condone HAPPI stealing their resources? No. But they don't have a choice. They can't trade with anymon but HAPPI, because HAPPI controls all the trade."

~ Arbok, Air Continent politician

(Also, sidebar, a lot of the headers on top of the chapters don't really stand out to me, but this one definitely did. Shit's finally getting REAL and my galaxy brain theory that HAPPI is not HAPPY is getting REALER)

okay, on with the show

In broad strokes I really enjoyed this chapter. There's a nice payoff of Braixen and Primarina skulking around, Ampharos confirms once and for all that he's really not the dunce he purports to be, Mawile shares some interesting lore, and we get to see the ramifications of what a lot of those side plots have been--it's really concerning that these things are happening, but since no one knows why, there's probably going to be a lot more fumbling in the dark. And there's a villain who's invested in making sure everyone stays in the dark for as long as possible. I liked the Braixen/Zoroark reveal a lot, and in particular I like how Ampharos solves all of this. He's very kind the entire time and it's not like he's been lying when he's friendly; I get the feeling he really would rather be friends with everyone and absolutely chuffed--but he's simply asking everyone to be better, be braver. And it works. It really sells me on his leadership qualities in a way that "actually he was a mastermind, and a one who defeats people with FACTS AND LOGIC" wouldn't have.

(I think some of the scene cuts in here were a little unnecessary--Dedenne waking up Braixen is short and mostly exists just to foreshadow that Zoroark's doing mental fuckery, but I think the Zoroark/Mawile infiltration scene sells that just fine, or at the very least that this doesn't need its own scene. Ampharos's Office//Primarina also felt a little redundant, in that we already know Primarina's pressuring Zoroark into doing this (or at least it's made very clear in the Zoroark/Ampharos confrontation at the end). I also didn't quite follow the relevance of the medical bay scenes.)

But overall I thought this was a great interlude chapter, and I really liked how we got to see all of this half of the cast working together in a continuous stretch. They do bounce off of one another quite well, and the story that's told here is really satisfying and complete, with everyone being able to play to their roles. It's one of those chapters where everything works together really well, and as such is one that I think really sheds a lot of insight into what the story is trying to be/what it actually is at its core, which in turn leads me to think about some of the things that happen under the hood.

(long rambling about longfic story structuring is under the hood for you to ignore/use at your leisure):

Spoiler

It is in your best interest. What you see on those photos will destroy life as you know it. destroy the photos, and you never have to see it. Destroy the photos, and you can continue living. Destroy the photos, and you can pretend it never happened. You can do that… can’t you?

He kept the billowy, earth-green hood of his cloak up as he walked through the streets, for what good it did him—many of the pokemon in Lively Town had all seen that cloak enough times to hazard a pretty good guess at who was underneath it. That, and his tail was peeking out. An instant giveaway.

Mawile had foregone her hypothetical period of sleep that week in favor of research.

I admit the way we consume and publish fanfic is kind of waning on me; it's really hard to read such a tiny fraction of a story and then try to offer any sort of feedback on it. And then to come back two years later, try to remember the coherent details of the last fraction, and do the same thing over again--all this to say, I didn't really remember much about the little hints of Mawile, or Primarina, or Dedenne that got sprinkled around in the first chunk I've read. Espurr, Tricky, and even Watchog really stuck with me because there were complete emotional arcs there, and even though it's been forever I still do find myself remembering bits like Espurr realizing she knows how to read or Tricky revealing her name is Artemis--these characters felt grounded and real, in part because they had these big moments that had emotional + plot significance to them. And on paper none of these events are really world-altering, in the sense that I don't think anyone else actually really cares about them, but they're real to the characters and as such they stick with me even after I go off to consume a different fraction of a story and then come back to this one.

Comparatively, with the Mawile alt-plot (I hesitate to call it a subplot since it feels like it's gearing up to be the main plot lol), I get the feeling that these are hugely important to the world, but it was difficult for me to find grounding for them because I didn't really know what it meant to the characters. It's scary for Archen/Mawile to see things turned to stone, but since we don't know much about them as characters, the broader focus of that seems to be more on "this is really important to the economics/trade, this is the major villain once the kids graduate from school", sorta thing. And it's a little harder personally for me to ground on those concepts simply because it's important for what it will be, not what it is. (Admittedly a lot of this is personal preference and, as always but especially with the knowledge that this falls very squarely under 'kint's thoughts about structure', you're free to disregard this entire review if you'd like, lol.)

But in just giving these characters an entire chapter to themselves and letting them bounce off of each other, I think I more or less got 1) all of the bits of character hints that had happened across their previous cameos and 2) a really good story. It's a lot less "oh, this is a hint that'll pay-off in 30k words" and more of just, things paying off, in a way that makes me question if we actually needed their cameos at all.

I quoted the earlier bits because they were pretty establishing character moments for me--in a way that was kind of wild, because in theory these are established characters; they've shown up before in the narrative, but here it finally clicks. If I were to go into this chapter fully blind, I'd learn that Primarina is wrestling with some entity in his head that relies on his baser desire to not be involved in things/to not be a hero to convince him to do more villainous actions. (This in turn I think is just a really great concept for a villain--indifference and apathy are just as potent, and far easier to succumb to, than actual hatred). In contrast, Mawile cares deeply for what she does, has seen something horrible, and is working very diligently to prevent this disaster that she's survived from harming anyone else, to the point that she self-medicates and her friends are concerned about her. Ampharos is jovial and in theory quite stupid--but in reality he's anything but that. He knows a lot, and he's experienced a lot; he can tell from a glance at Espurr what everyone else, including herself, has missed. Most importantly though, he's compassionate; he can maneuver people into situations where he could win by force/by brainpower, but he relies on appealing to their own sense of duty in order to get an even better result.

I think the powerpoint (powerorb?) scene where Mawile recounts her experiences with the petrification really sold it to me, since it's most literally a recap of what's happened to them--honestly if this was my first time seeing these guys (with perhaps the exception of Ampharos showing up in the village and then bumbling into Espurr/Tricky), I think I'd still have a really good time with them. I don't know if we needed to see the petrification scene for it still to have an impact here, if the narrative payoff of "oh!! that's the same guy from before!!" really was as satisfying to me as just reading this as a self-contained chapter.

And, hmmm, this speaks more deeply to how stories are structured I think, so we go really into the weeds. I see similar structures like this in episodic shows, long-runners like Naruto--where we kinda get teased about a villain/character, they show off for a bit, we cut back to the main plot for ten episodes, and then that other characters shows up again, and then thirty episodes later those plots are finally relevant. It's a successful style and we see it frequently in anime and specifically in anime adaptations of long-running stories, but I think it's important to understand the context of why this is successful--shows like Naruto aren't necessarily meant to be consumed in order. They certainly should be at some point, but because they're released as individual chapters or TV episodes, a lot of the potential audience is hooked by just happening upon a random episode while scrolling through TV channels or walking past a particularly-interesting looking cover in a manga shop. There's a lot of pressure for each episode to contain a microcosm of the larger plot because a (small but non-trivial) portion of the viewerbase is actually going to show up completely new to things. Which in turn leads to a lot of habits like consistently flashing back to a villain stating their mantra even though that happened ten minutes ago in realtime--it's successful for the medium it's in, but I'm not sure if it's successful in fanfic, so to speak.

(And of course I'm also not going to clutch my pearls over what "traditional" story structure looks like/advocating that we should stick to traditional things only because they're traditional, since my entire m.o. this decade has been fucking with it as hard as humanly possible. But I do think it's important to understand why certain structural choices are made before incorporating them). here's also a significant argument that this format exists because animators/mangaka rarely get paid enough so a lot of the redundant/recursive plots exist because they're churning out a ridiculous amount of material in a small timeframe, but that's a different issue altogether imo).

Compare with written stories that have similar changes in scope. I think we talked Harry Potter in our last convo as a major inspiration for the early structure of this, and that's a solid example here as well--there's a huge scope change between the end of 4 (and even moreso at the end of 5) where we go from "the biggest villain is Draco being mean about classes and being turned into a ferret" and "the biggest villain is that wizard-Hitler is back and wants to kill the impure". But these follow a much more linear build--Goblet of Fire opens with Wormtail/Voldemort killing Frank and ends with Voldemort's resurrection, but between we don't really see what Voldemort's been up to--and I would argue that we don't need to, since it becomes pretty obvious when he shows up again that he's been working to get resurrected and the details are far less important than the fact that oh fuck Voldemort's back. But again, this is because the expectation of Goblet of Fire is that the chapters are read in order, compared to the above example of a less linear/more episodic storyline.

All this to say that the plot device of "here's a side character doing a thing, here they are doing another thing ten episodes later, and now here they are doing a third thing, and then BAM! plot payoff"--is steeped in a specific format that I don't know if you're constrained to here. Fanfic is almost-always consumed in order; you rarely get a reader who just clicks on a middle chapter and tries to decide if this is a story they want to read, so imo there's a lot less need to have these sorts of cast introductions/reintroductions in the earlier chapters.

Having asked a lot of similar questions in the earlier part of my read with the expectation that I'd be told "oh, it pays off in Chapter X", and then actually getting to Chapter X--I think, and this is kind of a bonkers choice so I get it, the earlier hints weren't really necessary for me to enjoy the payoff in Chapter X. This works as a really successful self-contained narrative; if the only character we'd seen before had been Ampharos planting the orb in that one chapter, and the curtain had just been pulled back on the fact that 1) there are greater problems in the world than the schoolyard shenanigans and 2) Ampharos is a character working to solve them, here's his friends and here's how--I would've thought this was a great pivot to a broader plot. I don't really know if we needed the hinting at.

I really do think this is one of those chapters where I'm like, oh fuck, this is really interesting and I see why it's interesting + also understand why I didn't see that earlier--it's a weird flavor of review as a result, and I'm sorry for the odd balance of broad thoughts + story thoughts here. I really enjoyed this chapter and as such it made me think a lot about the general story structure to this point, but having spent years writing out a lot of thoughts and then being like "no but actually the reason I had all these thoughts is because I liked this story", I know there's not really anything I can put in this end bit to fully explain that long reviews=/=dislike lol. Happy to chat more in Discord if you're interested!

---

He pulled the remaining poke out of his sack. It jingled in his paw, and there was also little enough of it to fit in his paw. Ampharos frowned. It might buy a few appleberries.

As an exercise, sometimes when I'm editing I try to see if I can fit things in as few sentences as possible, since my first drafts tend to contain a lot of redundancy--here I'd rephrase to "Ampharos frowned at the poke in his paw, the last remains of the sack he's carried into town. What he had left might buy a few appleberries." I cut the line-edits here since this is just one long ramble about structure, but I think as a broad-scope thing moving forward, it's helpful on second-read to try to see what sentences have similar info + what can be combined.

The Exeggutor has not been fully prepared for sea yet

(there's a few times that the italics gets dropped here, which made it especially difficult to understand since it's a pokemon name as well)

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, this took a bit longer than I expected to throw together, but I felt like squeezing in a bump of my Psychic Sheep series on Week 3's way out. So let's get right into things:

Chapter 19

BREAKING: Government ship disappears off the coast of Grass

The government ship Demetrius was last heard from en route to Noe Town harbor while travelling across the Coast of Grass. Transmission contact with the ship has since been lost, and has not yet been recovered.

This is a developing story. Please check in with the Cloud Nine News Network for updates as they come.

Oh well that's not ominous at all. .-.

There was a storm building out on the churning seas that night. It had been building for a few weeks now, and it would continue to build tonight. There was nothing to keep it in check now. Nothing to stop it from growing out of control. Nothing to stop it from being controlled. From being shaped into something more malleable. A natural disaster. A weapon.

A cocoon.

Well this chapter's going places already.

Something writhed in the Storm. Something that was blacker than the night and the clouds around It. It controlled the wind and the sea now. The very storms acted at Its whim. And act they would.

Grow.

The rumbling of thunder boomed through the night sky, and purple lightning lit up the center of the storm like a brilliant display of silent fireworks. The clouds of the storm began to swirl down, down, towards the earth, towards the ocean…

And when the clouds and sea met, the storm wasn’t just a storm anymore.

Wait, is this the same storm that we got a view of on C9 last chapter? Since that description sounds familiar...

"Picture this."

Several wagons encrusted with the multi-ringed sigil of HAPPI were parked right outside the courtyard of Pokemon Plaza. Many pokemon were working in and out of the wagons, taking diagnostics of the environment and performing various other tasks. An elgyem was intently scanning the ground with the lights on its arms and muttering, while an impidimp hastily scribbled down everything they said. A togademaru had a camera with a connection orb slotted through the lense, taking generous pictures of everything around her as other ‘mon gave orders in the distance. Each pokemon wore a bright purple scarf, with a picture of HAPPI’s badge sewn onto the front.

Simisage walked through the unkempt ruins of the town, stepping around debris and sharp shards of stone. Directly behind him, Vaporeon followed. The square was littered not with statues but with small shards of stone that covered almost every surface in the town. Both Simisage and Vaporeon had to be careful to step around the sharp pieces so they didn't cut their paws on them as they walked.

Oh, so the stoned Pokémon in this story can get permakilled unlike in PSMD where the stone could apparently survive impact with hard land based off Latias. Lovely.

"Pokemon Plaza goes dark," Simisage began, stepping over some rubble. "HAPPI teams can't leave Mist 'cause of the blizzard that formed over the continent, so the Expedition Society is drafted in their place. They arrive. They claim to have done their job. The mayor of Baram Town vouches for them. And yet, that very day, stone lapras statue; missing lapras. Cloud Nine receives no photos nor word from the Expedition Society concerning the mission for two. Whole. Weeks. And then, after the fact, stone pelipper washes ashore up on Mist. Am I the only one seeing something funny going on here?"

"I see something funny going on," Vaporeon said, looking put-out. She wore a purple scarf of her own. "You aren't wearing your scarf."

Simisage shrugged. "I forgot," he said. "Everyone does it. Now, where was I…"

Simisage: "... You're kinda missing the point here." >_>;
Vaporeon: "And you're supposed to be on-duty. Dress the part!"

Vaporeon took a deep breath, but when Simisage started rambling, it was usually easier to let him ramble than to get him to stop.

"It's simple," Simisage drawled sagely. "This was all a plot from the very beginning. Think about it. The Expedition Society has been scoffed at and put down by the other guilds for too long. They want fame and glory, and they want revenge."

[ ]

"And so–if I may be allowed to insinuate further–a plot begins to form in their tiny little reviser-seed-sized brains. They shoot down the pelipper post employees coming in and out of the plaza, and get their little electric pet to jam the transmissions," Simisage continued. "Pokemon Plaza goes dark; blizzard happens over Mist just. As. Planned. Boom shapow bang—"

Simisage clapped his hands for effect "—Expedition Society is now drafted for convenience. Now two of them have a mission. They sail into Baram Town and travel up into Pokemon Plaza. And once they get there, they turn the whole square to stone."

IMO, Simisage's bit here ought to be broken up into 2 or 3 paragraphs. I suggested 3 here, with space to drop in a descriptive paragraph in between parts 1 and 2.

Vaporeon: "'And once they get there, they turn the whole square to stone.' Holy Mystery Dungeon, are you even listening to yourself right now-?!" >_>;
Simisage: "Oi! I'm not done yet!"

[ ]

"But see, now they're at risk," Simipour continued. "They have photos of the carnage, but they were the last ones to go into that square, and there. Are. Witnesses. They need to be seen doing something that will clear them of all charges; dismiss them as [ suspects entirely!"

[ ]

"Now cue the lapras. The lapras isn't important to them, so they kill the lapras too," the Grass-type said. "They write the note; they stick it on the raft, and they let it float into the harbor, conveniently being in just the right spot to get there in time and look innocent. Now the blame is off them but they can't rest yet."

[ ]

"They gotta lie low for a couple of weeks, let the heat die down before they submit their findings. They gotta plot their next move first, 'cause if they don't than this was all for naught," he murmured. "They gotta be ready. And once they are… I assure you, something's gonna happen. Something we've gotta prevent."

Simisage stopped once they reached the other end of the plaza, where one of the white, metal-encrusted wagons sat. Out of his exploration bag he pulled a leather envelope of documents, showing it to Vaporeon. "Luckily, I have taken the necessary precautions to make this line of intervention possible."

Er... yeah. Same deal here, since there's a lot of talking from Simisage, and it all more or less happens in a giant, unbroken block all the way up to "Simisage stopped [...]"

Not fully sure what I'd suggest putting in for the recommendations of descriptive paragraphs, but probably some mix of Vaporeon's reaction, the two checking their surroundings, and some body language or the like from Simisage.

Vaporeon: "Does it include scheduling an appointment with a shrink? Since I'm pretty sure that was just 400 or so words there of a solid argument for getting you committed." >_>;

Vaporeon puffed out her cheeks in frustration.

"That sounds great!" she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "There's just one problem: How are you going to prove they turned all these pokemon to stone? That doesn’t just happen. There’s no power that does that."

Simisage waved a hand around the square.

“Clearly some power did this.”

“But we don’t know it’s connected to them,” said Vaporeon. “Just because they were in the same place doesn’t mean they’re culprits. There’s no solid connection here.”

“These papers say otherwise,” Simisage grinned, waving the folder. “Now how they did it… is TBD. But the point is, they’re guilty. And we’re gonna prove it.”

Yeeeeeah, that doesn't exactly instill high hopes in the quality of jurisprudence in HAPPI's legal system there if its operatives are looking to pin stoning a town on a team of relative nobodies.

It was nighttime, and for once the halls of the Expedition Society were quiet. Mawile quietly slunk down the hallway, making sure not to cause any noise and wake the others up. She stopped outside the large open archway that led to the kitchen, looking down the hall both ways before entering.

Any other member would have been harshly disciplined by Swirlix for this. The chef kept an iron grip on the Society's food supplies, tight enough that there were separate stocks for travelling supplies and normal food. The last time somemon had tried to sneak something from the kitchen had been when Bunnelby had nicked a head of lettuce for a midnight snack, and while Mawile did not know exactly what Swirlix had done when she had found out, the entire Expedition Society had seen the effects—Bunnelby never ate lettuce again.

Whelp, looks like we're about to see Mawile get forced to be on an actual honest-to-goodness sleep schedule, since I've got a pretty good idea of what she's trying to nick there. :V

Swirlix currently lay sprawled out on one of the counters, conveniently stationed near the food cupboards. Fast asleep. She began to sniff the air once Mawile entered—even asleep, she was still on guard. Mawile reached into her bag and pulled out a pawful of grimy food she had dug out of the dumpster. She set it on the floor in front of the entrance. That would overpower her own scent.

Clever trick though, assuming it doesn't wake up Swirlix in the process.

Slowly, Mawile crept across the kitchen, opening the cupboards one by one as she searched for the medicinal berry stock. Swirlix suddenly stirred in her sleep, reaching out for something that existed only in her dreams.

Yuuup, I called it.

"Nnghh… Apple…" Swirlix muttered, nearly rolling off the counter as she grasped for thin air. Mawile acted fast—she handed what little remnants of the grimy food that she had in her bag to Swirlix. Swirlix took it without question, grimaced at the smell, and then sleep-consumed it in a single bite. Mawile tried–and barely managed–to stomach the sight. Swirlix snored loudly, and Mawile grit her teeth and continued.

Mawile: "... I'm just gonna hurry up and grab those Chesto Berries and get out of here." 🤢

She found the medicinal berries in the cupboard to Swirlix's left. Mawile quickly rooted through it until she found the chesto berries, all picked and sitting in a small wooden crate. Mawile took three or four and stuffed them into her bag. She quietly shook up the berries in the crate so that Swirlix wouldn't notice they were gone, and slipped away from where Swirlix was sleeping. She picked up the grimy food and deposited it in one of the wastebins in the hall on her way out.

... Isn't Swirlix going to notice:

A: Her breath smells of Grimy Food when she wakes up?
B: There's Grimy Food that is suddenly in the wastebin outside that wasn't there earlier? Like this feels like one of those things that would potentially come back to bite a 'mon hard.

The glow of a miniature luminous moss orb lit Mawile's office an ethereal blue. A torch would have been more convenient light-wise, but Mawile refused to pose a risk to all her books that way, and the room had never been built with electrical lighting in mind. She sat down in one of the stools in the office, taking a bite of a chesto berry and opening a history tome of the Sand Continent. There were almost five times as many books on the Sand Continent as there were books on the other four, and Mawile had yet to pore through it all. Nights were the most convenient time to do this, and Mawile spent hours looking through every possible path that might lead her towards answers.

So just how... politically inconvenient is the history of every continent not named 'Sand' anyways? .-.

Also, small typo there. You want 'pore through it all' and not 'pour through it all'

It had been nearly two weeks since they had returned from the Air Continent, and Mawile was still at a loss as to whatever had attacked them in Pokemon Plaza. The photo of the anomaly was pinned at the top of the wall, separate from the rest of the intertwined strings on the board. A couple others, various shots of the stone lapras they had encountered a few days after, were pinned near the original photo, but Mawile had not found a way to connect them yet. She relished the day that she would be able to pin them all together. Maybe tonight… Mawile turned the page in the book, reading up on an entire new section of Sand Continent lore. Maybe tonight.

I mean, considering the chapter title... yeah, there's some decent odds that tonight is indeed the night.

Early mornings were always a pleasure for Ampharos. He awoke every day at the crack of dawn before anymon else in the Expedition Society rose, then ate a quick breakfast outside while he could still feel the morning breeze flowing through his fur. Lively Town never really went to sleep, but dawn was one of the few times of day the town was truly quiet. Most days, Ampharos would go for a stroll through the market and observe the morning going-ons around town, until eight-o-clock came and Dedenne rose to sort the morning paperwork. The Expedition Society briefing was at nine, because nine-o-clock was the earliest Ampharos could convince the Society to collectively rise and shine.

Mawile: "You know, if you just fed everyone Chesto Berries, we wouldn't have to have these early morning calls. We could do it anytime."

Ampharos: "Look, if the members of the Expedition Society want to cut their long-term lifespans in half, it's going to be a personal choice, Mawile." >_>;

He grabbed an apple from the larder in the kitchen, making sure not to disturb Swirlix on his way out. Special privileges of being Chief. As he walked into the lobby, he caught sight of Mawile loitering around aimlessly near a window. Ampharos walked up to join her.

"Morning," she said without even looking back at him. She didn't have to glance back at him to know that he was there.

"Likewise." Ampharos took a bite of his apple, chewing noisily.

Actually, wait. How is Mawile reacting to sudden loud chewing noises right next to her? Like is she just used to it, or does she have any reaction to this?

"Did you find anything?" he asked a moment later. Mawile knew what he was talking about. They went through this exchange every morning, to the point where it may as well have been scripted.

"Nothing," Mawile replied. "If Sand Continent history doesn't pan out, I'll comb pokemon moves and energy next. Perhaps there's something we've missed."

Ampharos: "Actually, wait, considering how there's at least 10,000 years of history for our planet that's known to various degrees why are we starting with searching for clues with history instead of in more narrow subjects like Pokémon moves and energy?"

- Beat moment -
Mawile: "... I was expecting 'village turned to stone' to have been weird enough to instantly stand out in any history books?" >_>;

Ampharos nodded silently, taking another bite of his apple. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, watching the sun rise from the east.

Around eight-o-clock, the large double doors clacked open and Dedenne walked through to begin her shift. At eight-thirty the process of waking everymon up began. Some were already awake, like Nickit, who liked to sneak off to the vault in the mornings and Buizel, who hated wasting time. Others, like Jirachi and Bunnelby, were asleep as usual. But through the combined efforts of Buizel, Dedenne, and Bunnelby once he was awake, all fourteen members of the Expedition Society stood in front of Ampharos, ready for the morning briefing.

So how zombie-like are Bunnelby and especially Jirachi for these things? :V

Ampharos cleared his throat, preparing to read the first line of the paper Dedenne had given him aloud, but suddenly he was interrupted by a loud bang from outside. Everymon turned their heads towards the large double doors at once. Sure enough, it came again, a loud knocking that sent echoes all through the hall. The Expedition Society exchanged looks.

"Somemon couldn't wait five minutes for us to open?" Bunnelby asked, half-annoyed. He was met with silence.

When the knocking loudly came again, Ampharos put down the paper and stepped forward. Dedenne grabbed it in his wake. He walked through the row of Expedition Society members that parted for him, letting one of the large doors creak inwards and peeking out.

A simisage and a vaporeon stood outside, the latter of which wore a purple scarf with a badge on it. A very familiar badge. Ampharos took one look back at the rest of the members and signaled for silence, and then slipped out the door completely. Seeing that he now had Ampharos' attention, Simisage stuck out his paw for Ampharos to shake.

Oh lordy, that is not a good portent there. 😰
Ampharos: "... I'm sorry, can I help you?"

"Morning," he said. "I understand you're the chief of the Expedition Society?"

Ampharos noticed the glint in his eyes, a glint of distrust, hidden beneath a gleam of sharpness. Behind Simisage stood Vaporeon, the same suspicious look flickering through her eyes for a second. Along with the scarf… something was up. Ampharos decided to put on a cheerful face anyway.

"Correct you are!" he said, shaking Simisage's paw. "We aren't open for another five minutes, I'm afraid. Can I ask you to come back later or set up an appointment?"

Simisage cleared his throat. "I'm afraid you don't understand," he said. His voice had a grating drawl, like he was the smartest person in the room and very keen on broadcasting it. "I'm Simisage, leader of Team Cobalt, and this is my partner, Vaporeon." He gestured to Vaporeon, who nodded quietly in Ampharos' direction. Vaporeon frowned. Ampharos caught it but didn’t know why.

"Myself and Vaporeon work in a very specific line of profession," Simisage continued. "In other words, it's our job to find things. Or find out who might be responsible for things. And this—" Simisage dug in his bag, producing a leather folder and handing it Ampharos "—Is a warrant issued by Cloud Nine on behalf of HAPPI."

>these two actually got a warrant for the Expedition Society stoning Pokémon Plaza Does HAPPI's justice system work like the Soviet one used to back in the day or something?

Vaporeon: "(Look, I know this all sounds ridiculous, but just play along until things flame out on their own. It's for your own good.)" >_>;

Ampharos would be lying if he claimed he wasn't shocked. But he kept his cheerful face up anyway.

"May I ask what this is for?" he asked politely, keeping the act up. He was pretty sure he knew what it was for.

"All will be explained in due time," Simisage drawled. "Now gather your flunkies for me. We need to have a talk."

"They're… already gathered," Ampharos said, for once at a loss for words. "Just in there."

He could have sworn Simisage's grin had teeth sharper than they should have been for a second.

"Splendid."

... I'm starting to question whether this guy is really a Simisage or not given that little blurb there.

"Alright, here's the deal." Simisage stood at the front of the lobby’s grand stairs, where Ampharos usually stood for the daily morning briefing. Now, he was lined up with all the other Society members. Near the back, Vaporeon stood right before the front doors as if guarding them.

Simisage pulled out the leather folder, showing it to everymon in the room.

"This warrant here authorizes a twenty-four-hour lockdown of the property, effective immediately," he said. "No-one is allowed to leave the premises until this time tomorrow."

Proooobably a good thing that Ampharos didn't remember Espurr and Tricky there. Though I have to wonder what on earth Team Cobalt would've done if half of the Exploration Society was out in the field.

Much of the Expedition Society suddenly looked quite disturbed.

"On what charges?" Bunnelby asked.

"Yeah. Where's this coming from?" Buizel added.

"The Expedition Society is suspected of 'monslaughter on a mass scale, fraud, and breach of contract," Simisage said. "Team Cobalt has been granted the authority to determine if there is any evidence of your guilt, which will be done through a series of investigations performed by myself, my partner–" Simisage gestured to Vaporeon "–and other, optional personnel, should it prove necessary."

Exploration Society:

Simisage: "Yeah, yeah, yuck it up. The warrant's real, and if you wanna see the inside of a cell for a long time, go ahead and try to defy that lockdown order." >:|
Vaporeon: "Again, I know this all sounds crazy, but play along here. For your own sake." >_>;

The lobby was suddenly filled with several loud, angry pokemon all shouting over each other.

"'Monslaughter?" Bunnelby cried out. "That's crazy!"

"But what if we need to go shopping for food!?" Swirlix cried out. "I'll go mad from hunger, I will!"

"Somemon was murdered!?" Archen shouted in terror.

"You can't confine us here all day!" said Buizel. [“We just got over one of those!”]

Something about Buizel's phrasing feels off to me, since AFAIK it was never mentioned they got served a prior lockdown order. And... it's not really clear what else he could be referring to here.

"Actually," said Simisage, "I think y'all will find I can." He shook the contents of the folder.

Then the lobby exploded into racket again.

"What's the matter?' Nickit loudly asked over the noise. "It's a leisure day. Are you really complaining about a leisure day?"

Bunnelby: "Nickit, this 'mon just accused us of mass murder!" >.<
Nickit: "Technically, mass monslaughter. But we totally have alibis, so what's the big deal? We just kick up our heels, sit back a day, and chill for 24 hours."
Simisage: "Bold of you to think we're not going to find evidence of your guilt between now and then." >:|
Vaporeon: "(Holy Mystery Dungeon, this is going to be a long 24 hours...)" >_>;

"It's not a leisure day if we’re being accused of… whatever green monkey guy said, Nickit!" Holly chided.

Jirachi just yawned.

"But no-mon here is guilty of that," Nickit said offhandedly. “This is a wash-up.”

"I'll be the judge of that," Simipour replied. And then he clapped his hands together.

Oh hey, it's basically the last cutaway gag minus the frustrated Vaporeon.

It was 10:00, and Simisage had derailed the entire day. He and Vaporeon had contained the Expedition Society to a single bedroom in the left wing, while the lobby had become a 'sacred place of investigation'—as Simisage put it. In reality, he had set up a few chairs and a couple of connection orbs that belonged to Vaporeon. Ampharos distinctly remembered Vaporeon asking him why he hadn't brought his own.

Vaporeon: "Simisage... has a certain level of competence as an investigator." >_>;
Ampharos: "... Ah."
Simisage: "That's right. You'd better be quaking in your boots, sheep!" >:|
Ampharos: "... But I'm not wearing boots."

"Is the connection orb recording?" Simisage asked, leaning to the side in the chair with a back support. He had a clipboard in his paw, also Vaporeon's.

Vaporeon double-checked, then clumsily tapped the orb with her nose. It began to glow.

"Now recording," she said, sitting down behind it.

Ampharos: "(Is she sure that it's just Simisage who has a certain level of competence as an investigator?)" -_-;
Vaporeon: "I heard that. Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do, so let's hurry up and get this over with." >.<

"Alright." Simipour leaned back in the chair, clasping his hands. "Interview the first: Expedition Society, Chief Ampharos. Tell us about yourself."

"What do you want to know?" asked Ampharos, who cheerfully sat opposite of Simisage and Vaporeon.

Simisage leaned forward. "Everything."

"Well," said Ampharos. "Everything might take quite a while! And I understand you only have twenty-four hours. I suggest you lower your scope."

This 'mon was totally ready to start pulling random books off the shelf and just start reading them for 24 hours, wasn't he?

Simisage frowned flatly. "Start at the beginning, then."

Ampharos shrugged. "If you insist…" he leaned back against thin air, acting as if there were back support behind him.

"It was dark inside the egg."

Vaporeon barely held in a groan of frustration.

I just knew that he'd do something like that.

"Interview the second: Expedition Society, Vice Chief Mawile." Simipour leaned forward in his seat. "I trust you'll be more co-operative than our last subject."

"To be fair," Vaporeon grumbled, "You didn't have to let him go on for four hours either."

Ah yes, annoy your interrogators until they get sick of you. Clever tactical move there.

"Ah-ah-ah! Quiet! Quiet! You're messing up the tapes!" Simisage snapped. He readjusted the way he was sitting in his seat. "Now. Mawile. I understand you migrated over from the Grass Continent before you joined the Expedition Society?"

"Yes. Yes, I did."

I... did not see that one coming. Especially since Mawile has a very neutral accent. .-.

"And how do you feel about that?”

"I'm not sure I understand this line of questioning."

"Answer it anyway."

Mawile took an annoyed breath through gritted teeth before answering.

“No particular feelings.”

I mean, maybe no particular feelings towards the Exploration Society... but yeah, I saw those things between the lines about what was going down on Grass and I doubt that Mawile has no opinion of them.

Though I suppose that might also explain her attitude towards Mayor Honchkrow when they met.

"Hmm." Simipour marked something down. "And do these feelin's that don't exist sometimes influence the way you do your job?"

Mawile rose from her seat.

"This interview is over," she said firmly, beginning to walk off.

Not that that wasn't really rude of Simisage there, but... yeah, they totally influence how she does her job with that reaction.

"It isn't over 'till I say it's over–" Simisage began.

"It's over," her back maw snarled at them.

Simisage sat back in his seat after she had left, an oddly satisfied look coming over his face. "Yeah. It's over," he said. "Roll next!"

Translation: This guy's already got a pre-determined destination in mind and is just going to BS something together based off these interviews.

"Interview the third: Expedition Society, Engineer Jirachi. Are we rolling?"

"We're rolling," said Vaporeon.

"Jirachi," Simisage clapped his paws together. He licked his lips. Delicious. "Complimentary question: How does it feel to be the only Legend currently working for a HAPPI-endorsed guild?"

"Why," Jirachi yawned. "It feels great.

Jirachi: "Also, can we wrap this up quickly? Since I'd like to get some shuteye." 💤

"Sorry," he said, a minute later after he had finished yawning. "I'm not really awake until I have my remedy."

"Stay awake enough to answer these questions and you can be asleep for all I care," said Simisage.

Jirachi took him up on the second part.

Jirachi: 💤
Vaporeon: "... Simisage, I think we should just move onto the next interview." >_>;

"Interview the fourth: Expedition Society, Off-Continent Explorer Archen." Simisage set down the clipboard he had been writing on, and then he leaned forwards. "Now I'm gonna ask you as a confidant," he said. "I understand you were one of two 'mon to lead the expedition to the Air Continent a week ago?"

"Unfortunately," Archen said, ruffling his feathers stiffly at the memory. "Who's asking?" "

I want the rundown of how that mission went. Leave no details out."

Archen rubbed his wings together nervously. "Well," he said. "It all began when we had to take a lapras all the way to Baram Town without sleeping for the night…"

Surprised that he's giving an honest answer here instead of going Ampharos' route, since... yeah, this guy doesn't exactly scream "trustworthy" there.

"Interview the fifth: Expedition Society, Engineer Jirachi, continued. I assume you won't fall asleep on us this time?" Simisage asked.

"Nah," said Jirachi, doing a lazy cartwheel where he floated. "I've had my remedy now. That'll keep me going through the night."

"Amazing," said Simisage. "Now tell me. What's the Expedition Society's process for makin' copies of photos?"

I guess we'll find out quickly whether Jirachi gave a truthful answer or not.

A single scarf sat on the windowsill, all on its lonesome.

"That is what it took. To get rid of the stench." Holly enunciated slowly, her voice dangerously calm. "A scarf infused with Sweet Scent. You would not believe. The things we had to sniff to get this. So kindly do not touch or smell it, please."

"Wasn't dreaming of it," said Nickit. The rest of the Expedition Society lounged about in the room, where Simisage had told them to wait while they weren't being interviewed.

"My belly hurts…" Swirlix groaned. Everymon collectively ignored her.

"I wonder why we haven't gotten interviewed yet," Bunnelby pondered to himself.

I mean, 2 out of 5 interviews were rather obviously trying to run out the clock there, so...

"And that's break time!" Simisage clapped his paws twice, hopping down from the chair and collecting the connection orb. He gestured for Vaporeon to follow him out the doors as he went. The large doors closed behind them, leaving them in the Society's empty outdoor square.

"Alright, so what do we know?" Simisage asked in a hushed voice. "We know that their chief likes to dodge things. We know that the vice-chief is hiding something. We know their mission to the Air Continent gets fantastical once they reach Pokemon Plaza, and we know that it should only take half a week to print those photos. Somethin' we aren't getting' here."

Vaporeon: "That this is a massive waste of time and you're being a paranoid loon?" >_>;
Simisage: "Something about the Exploration Society, Vaporeon."

"And we also know that they checked in with Mayor Honchkrow of Baram Town, and were picked up by the Water Continent's Ambassador on the way back," Vaporeon added. "Isn't a more prudent question what the Ambassador was doing here? Or perhaps a more prudent action to interview the mayor? I'm surprised you didn't try to follow up on either of those."

"But see, that's where you're behind," said Simisage. "I already know what the Ambassador was doing here."

"And what's that?" Vaporeon asked skeptically.

"He's in on it. A better guild gets better votes; the continent gets in better standing with HAPPI. He remains in power. It's all one big conspiracy."

Oh lordy, it really is going to be a long 24 hours.

Vaporeon: "... Okay, can I tender my resignation right about now? Since I didn't sign up for this bull-" >_>;
Simisage: "Ah ah ah! I wasn't finished!"

"It's all one big conspiracy in your head!" Vaporeon barked. "All of this—this entire investigation—it's all been based on guesswork you came up with! You wouldn't have done this a week ago! How did we even get this warrant? And–" her eyes veered to his chest "–And you're not wearing your scarf again!"

Because someone in HAPPI has it out for the Exploration Society, of course. Though I see that my read on how Vaporeon is handling all this isn't all that far from the truth. :V

Simipour glossed over the last part of the accusation. "Regardless," he said. "We're here. Let's find out what we can while we still can. I believe the Vice Chief has a personal office? We might find something there she’s not telling us."

Vaporeon wasn't sure how he knew that.

Vaporeon: "Well at least at some point we're going to need to take a break to sleep-"
Simisage: "Oh by the way, do you know if this place has Chesto Berries? I know we're close to getting to the bottom of this conspiracy, so we might as well keep ourselves awake for it."
Vaporeon: "... Berry Crackers." >.<

"I'd like to request on behalf of our members that Chef Swirlix be allowed to use the kitchen," Mawile stated calmly to Simisage.

"Denied," said Simisage. "We haven't interviewed her yet."

"Approved," said Vaporeon. "She isn't relevant to our investigation right now." She turned to Mawile. "We don't want to inconvenience you beyond what’s necessary. My partner has just forgotten that for a little while." She sent Simisage a quick glare to get her point across.

At this rate, I will honestly be surprised if there's still an intact Team Cobalt after this whole saga is done with.

"I'm afraid you wouldn't be able to interview her anyway in her current state anyway," said Mawile.

"And what state is that?" Simisage asked, raising an eyebrow.

"FOOOOD!"

Mawile quickly stepped back seconds after the loud voice blasted down the hallway stronger than an Uproar, and Simisage and Vaporeon backed off just in time to not get crushed by the white puffball that charged down the hallway with the ferocity of a dragon.

"FoodfoodfoodfoodfoodGimmegimmenow—" Swirlix snarled as she ran. Her tongue hanging out, she uttered a few unintelligible syllables out at Mawile, Simisage, and Vaporeon, then dashed through the kitchen doors. She left a trail of slobber on the floor in her wake.

Vaporeon: "... Yeah, I'm not interviewing her right now. Have fun with that, Simisage."

Both Simisage and Vaporeon looked rather shocked.

"I could fine your guild for that on three fronts alone," said Vaporeon.

"You won't after you taste her cooking," Mawile replied.

inb4 Simisage interpreted that as a threat. :V

The door to Mawile's office opened, but Mawile was not the pokemon who stepped in. Vaporeon sneezed at all the dust circulating in the air from her entry, making sure to close the door behind her with the fin of her tail. Vaporeon’s short coat of fur didn’t shed easy like the other evolutions of her species did, which made it perfect for sneaking about without leaving evidence behind. Which was what she was planning on doing. If there was one thing Simisage was right about, it was that Mawile was the true head of intelligence in this guild–if there was anything here substantial to know, Mawile would know it. And she'd probably keep that information in her office. Vaporeon looked around for a light switch, but it seemed like this room didn't have an emera light in the first place—even though the rest of the building was lit that way. Curious.

Somehow, I doubt this sneaking around will go anywhere near as well as planned. Since... yeah, Mawile doesn't strike me as the type as being easy to pull a fast one on

Once Vaporeon’s eyes adjusted to the dark, she caught sight of something faintly glowing under a tarp. Vaporeon pulled the cover off with her mouth, flooding the room with a blue glow. She smirked in triumph: light!

Vaporeon: "Alright, let's see what we're dealing with here..."

Now for the investigation. It seemed Mawile had a fixation on history, particularly Sand Continent history. Several books on the subject lay around on the desk, open to various places. There were footnotes written in bluk berry ink onto a piece of paper, all leading to obscure legends that didn't seem to be linked in any way, shape, or form.

Vaporeon lowered her head under the desk, trying not to bump her tail into the bookshelves behind her or the cot that lay between them. This was the last place somemon would bother to search. Perhaps something was hidden here.

Vaporeon didn’t find a big secret under the desk, but there was certainly a lot of dust under there–She had a brief sneezing fit after inhaling a bunch of it. Once she was able to stop coughing, Vaporeon stuck her head back underneath, holding her breath this time. Something caught her eye near the corner of the room, where it could be easily missed. Something that glinted.

Vaporeon took a closer look, as soon as she could adjust herself so that she didn't topple a stack of books by accident—Seriously, this place was too small, how did Mawile live like this? On closer inspection, the glimmering looked to be the shattered remains of a connection orb.

Considering Mawile's established quality of life, I think "live like this" is a bit of an overstatement.

"We were all given a presentation by Mawile," Archen explained, sitting in his interrogation seat. "I remember specifically that all the photos were saved to a connection orb, but it disappeared the day after Primarina left. If you want my opinion, I think somemon stole it. Or wanted it hidden. Somemon didn't want pokemon to see those photos."

One couldn't jump to conclusions. There was no proof that it was the same connection orb. Perhaps Mawile had dropped it at an earlier time and simply neglected to clean it up.

Or perhaps she had broken it and hidden it here so that it wouldn't be found in the waste.

Don't they live right next to the sea? I'm surprised it hasn't occurred to Vaporeon that if Mawile really wanted to make fragments of a Connection Orb disappear, she could just take a walk along the coast and drop them into the sea piece by piece

Vaporeon raised her head, preparing to leave, but then she saw the photos on the wall. There were three, pinned next to one another. One of a house in Pokemon Plaza, two of what looked like a stone lapras floating in on a raft, and another of a note stuck to the lapras’ chest. It was written in thick loopy handwriting that seemed very familiar to her… she just couldn’t remember where she’d seen it.

Vaporeon sat, looking at the photos. There was no proof that the connection orb was the same one she was thinking of, but that along with the photos were grounds for suspicion at least. It proved one thing: Whatever the Expedition Society was up to, they knew more than they were letting on. They were keeping these photos locked up, photos they weren’t authorized to have. What else were they hiding?

Maybe Simisage was right. Maybe he really was onto something. Putting everything back just right so that it looked undisturbed, Vaporeon made her way out of the office. She couldn’t remove the photos, but she could report what she found.

Vaporeon: "Or I could be going slightly crazy from sleep deprivation. But... yeah, I'll admit this does seem a bit suspicious..."

"Feels weird to be eating without doing anything all day," Holly said, lying on her bed of straw. They could smell the aroma of whatever Swirlix was cooking in the kitchen from half the building away, but none of them could leave the room without Simisage's say-so.

As if on cue, Simisage stepped into the room, reading off a list.

"Ampharos," he said.

"Right here!" Ampharos raised his paw, even though he was the tallest pokemon in the room and could clearly be seen by anymon present.

"Great," Simisage drawled. "Follow me."

Oh boy, time to waste another 4 hours on a dead-end interview.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked, leaning back in his seat. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

“Are we rolling?” Simisage asked. There was no answer. Simisage frowned.

... I assume "Are we rolling?" is supposed to only happen once? Since... yeah, this was kinda on your version of your story here when I wrote up this review.

Simisage’s frown faltered. For a second he was still, as if his entire being had just frozen. Then he looked at the pair of connection orbs that sat next to him, noticing Vaporeon’s absence.

“That no-good partner…” he muttered. “Always disappearin’ off to who-knows-where…”

- Meanwhile from off elsewhere in the building -
Vaporeon: "Wow, rude."
Ampharos: "... How did she hear that anyways?" .-.
Simisage: "That isn't canon so it's not important. Now, your interview..."

Simisage returned his attention to Ampharos, pressing the record button on the connection orb.

“Interview the Sixth: Expedition Society, Chief Ampharos, continued. Hopin’ you’ll be a bit more co-operative than last time,” Simisage said. He prepped the clipboard Vaporeon had given him.

“And I sure hope you’ll be a bit more specific this time,” Ampharos said. “Why, it’s hard to answer questions when you barely give me anything to go off of!”

I mean, sure, he's willfully interpreting the questions in the most obtuse way possible, but... you can't admit that he doesn't have a point. :V

“Oh, I certainly will,” said Simisage with a level of relish that Ampharos considered quite inappropriate for the matter at hand. Regardless, Ampharos reclined into thin air, appearing relaxed.

“Fire away.”

“Tell me why the ambassador of the Water Continent spent three days at your establishment before leaving,” Simisage began.

Ampharos considered his next answer carefully. Now that he thought about it, he realized he still didn’t have a good idea as to why the Ambassador had shown up for the photos in the first place. But another question presented itself in its wake…

“What makes you think the Ambassador was here?” Ampharos asked.

“Others’ testimony stands against you,” Simisage snapped. “Don’t be coy.”

Ampharos: "Are you going to be more specific, or...?"

Simisage: "No, now answer the question."

“As I understand it,” Ampharos said, “the Ambassador arrived claiming authority to collect the photos on Cloud Nine’s behalf. He stayed three days while they were prepared, then collected them and left that same night. I think you’ll find the others’ testimony will line up with mine.”

Ampharos purposefully left out the part about Zoroark and the photos being destroyed. Things no-mon had witnessed but him.

“And yet you attempted to keep this secret,” Simisage said.

“I didn’t feel the need to complicate things further,” Ampharos said. “Your investigation was directed towards accusations of monslaughter, as I recall.”

Simisage: "And that explains you being so cloak and dagger about the Ambassador's presence why?"

Ampharos: "With all due respect to the good Ambassador, but... it'd probably be for the best for his professional reputation if some of his activities at the local bars weren't public knowledge." ^^;

Simisage cleared his throat.

“Next question,” he continued, switching fronts, “Your Vice-Chief was the ‘mon who handled the making and distribution of the photos?”

“Yes, along with Engineer Jirachi, that’s correct,” said Ampharos.

“And you made no backup copies?” Simisage questioned. “We put our trust in our superiors,” Ampharos said. “As long as the photos were safe in Primarina’s flippers we didn’t feel the need to make backup copies.”

Oh, I see that he's deflecting attention onto Primarina there... I think.

Not a single word in that statement was true. But Ampharos trusted that no-mon had said otherwise to Simisage. Perhaps it was just the way the light shone on him, but Ampharos was almost certain there was a satisfied look on Simisage’s face, a sinister glint to his normal smugness.

... Or maybe not. Though I think that Simisage kinda had it out for these guys to begin with.

“One last thing,” he said, chewing the words. “Tell me your opinion of your vice-chief. Specifically the fact that she came from the Grass Continent.”

Ampharos tilted his head, immediately suspicious. He sat forward. “bit of a weird question to ask, don’t you think?”

“Without the proper context, sure,” said Simisage. “It would be very weird. Answer it anyway.”

“I would ask in return why such a thing would be important to your investigation.”

Simisage muttered something. He sat forward, switching the connection orb off.

“It would be relevant to my investigation because I think that your vice chief is a saboteur,” he said. “Working for the Grass Continent in order to destabilize HAPPI from the inside. And what would benefit Grass more than the fall of the most powerful guild under their control?”

Oh, so that's how Simisage managed to get a warrant for this.

“Allow me to settle your concerns,” said Ampharos icily. “I can assure you nothing like that has ever happened under my or her supervision.”

“Is that so?” Simisage muttered back. He sat forward, switching the connection orb off. “What if I told you that just this morning, she proved the opposite to me?”

It was a moment before Ampharos had the clarity to answer. “I’m sure she wouldn’t do that,” he said.

Simisage played something on the connection orb.

“This interview is over,” Mawile’s voice blared through the orb.

“It’s not over until I say it is—“

“It’s over.” A snarl from her back maw, and Simisage shut off the recording. He sat back in his seat.

“What do you say to that?” he said.

“I would say that doesn’t prove anything,” Ampharos said.

Ampharos: "Seriously, how does a five-second clip of my subordinate losing her temper at you prove anything when for all I know, you insulted her heritage right beforehand?" >_>;

“I would say it proves everything,” Simisage said. “Or it will when I bring it before the Quorum of Cloud Nine.” Ampharos looked at the orb, noticing it was turned off.

“Your Vice Chief was found to be housing copies of the photos you took at Pokemon Plaza in her office,” Simisage continued. “I trust this was not known to you at the time? If so, that would be… disappointing.”

Ampharos remained silent. If Simisage knew about the photos all along… That meant he had been waiting for Ampharos to slip up. And combined with the way Simisage was now acting, that could only mean one thing…

“Keeping copies of sensitive information would be a breach of confidentiality between you and HAPPI. If you are found guilty, then it could result in a criminal trial on Cloud Nine, and the dissolution of this organization.”

Oh boy... it'll be interesting to see how Ampharos gets out of this one. If he gets out of this one.

Getting up from his seat, Simisage began to pace around the lobby, slowly orbiting Ampharos.

“Of course, I don’t believe the Society at large is guilty of this. You put your trust in your superiors, correct? Well. Put your trust in me when I say your second in command is a spy.”

Abandoning all tact completely, he stopped in front of Ampharos and folded his arms behind his back. “So here’s how this is gonna go. You testify against your vice-chief, allow us to perform the arrest, and I let the rest of y’all off with a slap on the wrist. You don’t, and I end your Expedition Society. Crystal?”

“This is unbecoming conduct from a bastion an officer of the law, wouldn’t you say?” Ampharos said. His tone had lost all its airiness for iciness—truly, this was the hardest it had ever been for him to maintain a poker face in years.

I think that you want "an officer" there, since Ampharos is accusing Simisage personally of unbecoming conduct there.

Though... yeah, I kinda called HAPPI's judicial system being really whack, since I doubt that this is an isolated incident given that this sort of stuff isn't exactly unheard of with law enforcement agencies in reality.

Simisage just shrugged. “Who will tell them? I have the arrest warrant ready in my folder, if you’ll just testify.”

Ampharos sat up, eyeing Simisage levelly.

“Do you consider me the type of pokemon who bends to such evil demands?” he asked gravely, dropping all pretenses.

“I consider you the type of pokemon to make the right decision,” Simisage said.

Yeah, I stand by that Soviet-tier judicial system comment earlier given how this guy had an arrest warrant ready to go for at least one member of the Exploration Society.

The sound of somemon padding down the hallway cut the tension in the air cleanly. Ampharos and Simisage looked over in the same direction to see Vaporeon padding in from the right-hand wing.

“I thought I would tell the both of you that the chef called dinner,” she said.

Ampharos had always been shrewd and eagle-eyed; even through her professional demeanor, he could tell she looked shaken—the look of fear in her eyes, the position of her tail between her legs, the formal tone her words took. Though she didn’t speak much, she seemed much more reasonable than Simisage. Had she overheard and…?

“We’ll settle this later,” said Simisage, jarring Ampharos out of his thoughts and muses. “Go enjoy your meal.”

“Indeed,” Ampharos responded calmly, his best attempt to remain calm. He was anything but calm.

Wait, how long chronologically is this after the bit popping into Mawile's office? Since I can't tell if the intent is that Vaporeon just got back from that and is shook up from that. Or if Ampharos' musings of "... She overheard all of that, didn't she?" was right.

Swirlix's dinner that night was nothing fancy—Swirlix had only had half the time to cook today that she usually had, something she made very clear with much annoyance when dinner had been served. But to the starving Expedition Society, who had been through the most stressful day they’d had in a while, it was better than nothing. Mawile walked into the dining room after everymon else, where Swirlix had just set the table full of food and rang the dinner bell. As she entered, Vaporeon fell into stride alongside her.

"I'd like to conduct an interview of my own with you after dinner," said Vaporeon to Mawile.

Mawile took a deep breath in and out before she answered. "That's fine," she breathed.

"I'll be as tactful as I can," Vaporeon assured. "I only need to confirm a few things Simisage left out."

"Agreeable."

I mean, considering how Mawile was about ready to take a swing at Simisage after the last interview... yeah, that's probably the best for all parties involved.

And with that, Mawile curtly took a seat. Simisage sat near them, wedging himself between Archen and Nickit and keeping a suspiciously close eye on Ampharos.

As Ampharos bit into a piece of bread, his mind wandered. He was presented with a rather gruesome ultimatum, a choice between bad or worse. Both were out of the question, and so the question became different: was there a way out?

I mean, you could lace everyone's food with Sleep Seeds, collectively pass out for the next 12 hours, blame it on Swirlix messing up the recipe and then go full "tee hee, lockdown's over, see ya". :V

Ampharos began to organize his thoughts. This ‘detective’ wasn’t on the level; that much he could tell. And even worse, his mission wasn’t to find a true crime. It was to make one. To betray facts for fraud so callously… Ampharos was disgusted at the very notion. But the end result was the same: Simisage claimed he had the power to tear the Expedition Society apart, and Ampharos wasn’t willing to call a bluff.

The only thing Ampharos knew for sure was that Simisage was powerless without evidence. If he could somehow get the photos, get the interviews; delete them or otherwise do away with them… then Simisage would have no proof against them. Nothing to show for all his investigating. It was a low tactic, but Simisage had set the board at this level, and Ampharos had no choice but to play. And so, he made it a plan.

Or, you could just run the clock out and yeet the incriminating evidence elsewhere while Simisage runs off to try and get a fresh lockdown warrant.

Night had fallen, but the doors of the Expedition Society remained the same way they had been all day: closed. And Vaporeon didn’t know what to think.

She didn’t mention to Simisage that she had heard their entire talk from the hall. She wasn’t sure what had changed, but after this… she knew something had. She couldn’t trust him anymore. She didn’t mention anything to Ampharos either. He wasn’t a part of the investigation team, and despite whatever was going on with Simisage, she knew that the Expedition Society wasn’t being completely candid. They were tiptoeing around something, covering something up with omissions and half-truths. And whatever it was, Vaporeon intended to find out.

Ah. Yeah. You probably want to make that a bit more obvious in that earlier bit. Perhaps Simisage could flatly say something to the effect of "my subordinate found your photos" if he's supposed to know about that.

So she approached the one member of the Expedition Society who was sure to know everything: Mawile.

The interview didn’t happen in the lobby. Vaporeon wanted somewhere more secluded, somewhere off the record. The bottom floor of the Society Building had an old bedroom near the end that Mawile said was hers. She clearly hadn’t used it in a while; it had become a makeshift storage room from the looks of all the crates neatly stacked up against the far side of the wall. Mawile sat down on the dusty cot near the window, and Vaporeon took a seat on the floor. That left them eye level with each other.

“Interview the seventh,” said Vaporeon, reciting for a recording connection orb. “Vice Chief Mawile, continued. Previous testimony from Off-continent Explorer Archen indicates that at one point, you had the photos taken at Pokemon Plaza saved onto a singular connection orb. Additionally, testimony from Chief Ampharos claims that the only physical copies of the photos remain with the Water Continent Ambassador. In your office, photos from Pokemon Plaza are pinned to your wall, and the remains of a connection orb lie on the floor. Can you explain to me why these testimonies were inconsistent?”

Mawile: "Why were you rooting through my office again?" >:|
Vaporeon: "Look, lady. I'm an investigator and my partner's actively trying to dismantle your organization. Give me something to work with here!" >_>;

Mawile looked annoyed at the notion of her office having been disturbed. It took a moment before she responded. Just enough of a pause to pass it off as somemon gathering their thoughts, but Vaporeon was sharper than that. She could see the cogs turning in Mawile’s head.

“The Expedition Society suspected foul play on the part of the Water Continent Ambassador, who arrived claiming authority to pick up the photos,” Mawile answered. “We deduced that the Ambassador was not in contact with Cloud Nine for this mission, and therefore must have had other motives. To avoid entering conflict with our superiors, we sent Ambassador Primarina off with copies of the photos and waited to see what happened.”

Vaporeon listened, making [ ]

You're missing the rest of that last paragraph. At least when I was writing up this review.

“As for the connection orb,” Mawile continued, “it was the orb that the files were originally saved on, but the files were not saved properly onto the orb itself. It was useless, so I left it on my desk. At some point it must have fallen off and broken."

"I assume you are also aware that the Ambassador has not been seen for almost a week since leaving port in Lively Town?"

"I have recently been made aware of that fact," Mawile answered.

"Very well." Vaporeon took a deep breath. The story held together, but… something was still fishy. She needed to pry deeper. Discreetly pressing a paw to the connection orb, she switched the recording off.

“One last thing,” she said. “You gave some smart answers for the recording. Now tell me the truth. All of it.”

Mawile: "... You realize that if you're trying to get me to change my testimony, you're just conveniently keeping that Orb next to you such that you can turn it back on at a moment's notice, right?" >_>;
Vaporeon: "Again, my partner is trying to destroy your organization. So maybe don't be so picky about gestures of goodwill right now."

“Are you implying I was being dishonest during the interview?” Mawile asked coolly. There was a calmness to it that managed to unnerve Vaporeon somehow.

“Yes, actually,” she pulled herself together to say. “Yes I am.”

I mean, she's not wrong there…

“Explain yourself.”

The answer was curt, to the point, and said with enough authority that it held a power over Vaporeon that it shouldn’t have. But she saw through it, saw what Mawile was doing. She was trying to flip the dynamic of the interview, put Vaporeon in the interrogation seat. And Vaporeon wasn’t going to let that happen.

“I am the one asking the questions,” Vaporeon said loudly. “There is nothing I have to explain to you.”

“Then ask your questions and be done with it.”

“Not before I am finished.”

Mawile was silent, staring at her levelly. Vaporeon cleared her throat and continued. “I’ve stopped the recording, because everything after this is off the record. In twelve hours’ time, my partner will have created enough evidence to have your organization be held guilty in front of Cloud Nine for espionage and by extension, mass murder of everymon in the Rescuer’s Guild. Do I believe that’s true? No, there’s no evidence in support of that. But you and the Expedition Society are tiptoeing around something, and I need you to tell me what, so I can help you. So I will ask again: What’s the truth?”

Yeeeeeah, Ampharos should've just had Swirlix taint everyone's food with Sleep Seeds at that rate. It'd also give everyone an alibi assuming they all woke up together around the same table.

Mawile: "... How on earth is that 'mon supposed to invent evidence for turning a town into stone?" .-.
Vaporeon: "Look, he has a preprinted arrest warrant for you in his bag. He'll find a way." >_>;

“So you mean to solicit my help in stopping foul play, even if it breaks the rules of your investigation?” Mawile asked.

“I wouldn’t say I’m the first one to break rules here,” Vaporeon said. “But only if you can give me reason enough to trust you first.”

“I was not being dishonest in the interview,” Mawile said after a pause. Vaporeon’s heart skipped. Had she gotten through? “I did, however, omit some crucial details. The Expedition Society believes a fourth great calamity may be upon us. The fate of Pokemon Plaza and the Rescuer’s Guild would only be the beginning of what is coming, at the claws of an anomaly I have yet to find a reference of in any source or textbook. And we have reason to believe that our superiors may be against this information becoming public. The same superiors that issued a warrant not for failure to deliver confidential information on time, but for monslaughter and espionage. Somemon wants the Expedition Society out of the way, and it seems your partner is one of them. Is this summary to your satisfaction?”

Vaporeon: "..."

Mawile: "So is that a 'yes'?"

As loony as it sounded… it fit. Mawile’s words made an uncanny sort of sense, one that made the gears in Vaporeon’s head turn even though she didn’t want them to. There were points—why was that warrant issued? And how, when there wasn’t even a case to preclude it? When Simisage was…

“Let’s say I believe you,” Vaporeon said, swallowing down her fears of confronting her partner, of learning if he really had been involved in this from the beginning. “What then?”

“Then…” Mawile said. “We would begin planning.”

Vaporeon: "That... was not the least bit reassuring to me right there." >_>;
Mawile: "Look, what sort of answer did you expect me to give, huh?" >:|

It was late, and everymon was already in bed.

Mawile rarely ever used her allotted bedroom. It had become something of a storage room in the recent years, where she would lop things that had no use or place in her study so it didn't clutter up space elsewhere. They all lay in wooden crates, stacked neatly on top of each other with a piece of paper attached to each one, informing pokemon on where everything went. As it all should be. Mawile headed to her bed, reluctantly tucking herself into the pile of straw. Team Cobalt had fenced off the upper floor for the night, and that meant all the Expedition Society 'mon were sleeping on the lower floor. Mawile laid to her side, and attempted to drift off…

But she couldn't. She wasn't used to sleeping at this hour. Even when she didn't take her chesto berry, she always slept during the day and worked at night, when there was no-mon else to bug her. Sleeping at this hour felt wrong. So wrong, that Mawile couldn't even stay in bed any longer. She sat up, pulling the covers off herself. She might be able to lobby permission to use her study with Vaporeon. Assuming Vaporeon was still awake.

And if she was asleep, then Mawile saw no conflict of interest.

Small typo there, and a bit of a dangerous assumption there since Mawile's overlooking the possibility that Simisage is up and Vaporeon isn't.

She walked out of her room, slinking down the hallway until she reached the lobby. Crime scene tape had been slung over the entrance to the second floor, but it was nothing somemon couldn't easily pass if they wanted to.

She entered the second floor, approaching the large room where the Pokemon Nexus was hidden. Her study was just a room away…

Mawile suddenly hid as a door opened. Peeking out, she saw that it was the door to Ampharos' Office. The lights clicked off, and Simsiage stepped out, empty handed. He looked annoyed. Mawile stayed hidden, watching him as he went. He was up to something. Mawile watched him slip through the room, and disappear into her study.

I warned you about the monkeys, bro.

That was the last line crossed. Mawile was not endorsing tolerating that a second time. She slowly crept forward, catching the door before it could close and peeking in.

Inside, Simisage rifled through the study, searching for something. Mawile kept herself hidden, watching him silently. He pulled a camera out of the sack he was holding, a small, rectangular device with a connection orb slotted through the center. Flash. Snapshots were taken of the office.

Soon Simisage found what he was looking for: the broken connection orb under the desk. He picked the shards up, stuffing them into his bag. Then he looked up. He saw the photos. Mawile just stopped herself from yelling out for him to stop.

Simisage reached up, and pressed a button. Flash. A photo was taken. He plucked the photos one-by-one off the wall. He began to stuff them in his bag as well, but then stopped at the last second. Instead, he brought the photos up to his face. Mawile had to adjust her position to see around the back of his head.

Then Simisage tore. He tore the photos in half. And then into fourths. And then eights. And then into several pieces so small Mawile couldn't even count them anymore.

Yeeeeeeah, should've kept a Sleep Seed handy, since you're never getting those back.

Mawile was horrified. She had an inclination to yell out to him right now, but that would just get her caught. And then Simisage turned back towards the door. He didn't see anything, because Mawile had disappeared.

Mawile hid behind the second-floor trash can as Simisage exited the office. He looked around just to make sure he hadn't been seen, then continued on his way. Mawile wasn't noticed as he walked downstairs, leaving his bag in an obvious spot at the front of the stairwell. Mawile silently followed.

Simisage dropped the photos in the wastebin outside the kitchen, then left in the opposite direction. Mawile quickly hid so that she wouldn't be found. As soon as he was gone, she slunk over to the bin and pulled out what remained of the photos: they were in so many pieces that she couldn't even hope to glue them back together.

Boy did that guy really half-ass his destruction of evidence, since if sufficiently determined, the Exploration Society could've just played jigsaw puzzle with the pieces from the way Simisage tore them up. A more thorough solution would've been to chuck them onto something that was actively burning, or wet the pieces and then yeet the pulpy remains of the photos into the trash.

She heard the sound of somemon creeping back up the stairs. Mawile decided to cut her losses and leave. As saddening as that loss of information would be… it wasn't worth getting caught by Simisage over. It wasn’t worth ruining the contingency she and Vaporeon had so carefully constructed.

<><><>

Soon after Mawile had crept back to her bedroom, Ampharos snuck into the hallway. He took a look all over the room, just to make sure he wasn't being watched. There were no pokemon that he could see.

Good.

You either want a hard scene break there, or rework and expand the beginning of that last paragraph to the effect of "Mawile crept back to her bedroom, when little did she know at that very moment, Ampharos snuck into the hallway."

Silently, Ampharos crept through the hall, doing the best to keep the glow of his tail dim. It glowed brightly anyway, as he couldn't stay calm long enough to dim it. Ampharos just decided to move along and pretend like the orb glowing at the end of his tail wasn't a large giveaway.

Simisage's bag was sitting at the edge of the staircase. Ampharos considered for a minute that its placement was just a little too convenient, but he didn't have much choice in the matter. If it was a trap, he'd just have to spring it. And so he reached the bag, opened, it, and began to rifle through its contents.

Up at the top of the stairwell where a pokemon on the first floor wouldn't be able to see, a connection orb started recording.

There were only a few things inside the bag, and Ampharos had no trouble finding the connection orb he was looking for amongst the ledgers of documents. He pulled it out, and then activated it with his Expedition Gadget. Ampharos went into the menu. He pulled up the list of recordings, and went all the way down until he found the one detailing his second interview with Simisage. He opened it, then swiped right.

Large red words appeared upon the connection orb's projection: "Would you like to delete this file? [Yes/No]"

Ampharos thought for a minute. If he did this and was caught… all the better to do it quickly, then. He pressed 'yes'. The file disappeared from the menu, and then Ampharos deleted all of Mawile's interviews as well. He removed the connection orb from his expedition gadget, putting the connection orb back in the bag and then zipping it back up. The mechanical camera of the connection orb caught him slinking back into the Society's residential wing.

... Yeah, should've just gone with the "taint everyone's food route", since if you had conveniently left yourself as the last 'mon standing, nobody would've been able to see you pull a fast one like this.

It was nighttime. Vaporeon was dizzy, and she was only 25% sure the food served in Spinda's made you that dizzy. Although she couldn't be sure, because she was dizzy and she thought a few other patrons looked slightly dizzy too.

"Hope that hit to the head didn' do ya any harm," Simisage said, sipping from his drink neatly. He wore his scarf, an ornament he took pride in and made sure to carry around with him everywhere.

... Wait, is this the same Simisage? Or a sign that something is seriously, seriously wrong with the one that got dispatched. Since... yeah, Vaporeon hasn't stopped telling Simisage to stop forgetting his scarf this chapter.

"It was only an emboar," Vaporeon said. "I had the type advantage; I'll be fine. Thanks for asking, though."

Simisage: "... Pretty sure Vaporeon don't have type resistances to Fighting moves."

Vaporeon: "I think the implication is that he used something like Flame Charge." >_>;

"Alice." Simisage said sternly. "A physical hit to the head ain't a type advantage; that's just a physical hit to the head. If it gets worse I want you to get it checked out. Deal?"

Ah, the third 'Alice' I've seen in a PMD story, and definitely different from the other two I'm aware of. Though, yeah, something about all of this is making me very

about Simisage, since he's very different in this flashback versus the one we've seen. Almost as if they're not the same Pokémon.

"Fine." Vaporeon wouldn't lie – she was feeling a bit out of it ever since that hit. Maybe so medical care would be a good thing.

They sat in silence, eating their food for a few minute. Then Simisage got up and stretched.

"I'll be back," he said. "I'll only be a minute. Hold my seat for me, will ya?"

Vaporeon silently curled her tail fin onto his seat in response. Simisage smiled in gratitude, then ran off.

It was quite a few minutes before Simisage came back, and in that time Vaporeon had been cussed out by more than one pokemon who had their eyes set on Simisage's seat (Spinda's was a popular place). He looked a bit more distant than he normally did, looking at Vaporeon dully. "What happened ta you?"

Suddenly feeling pretty vindicated about my suspicion that someone somehow pulled a switcharoo on Simisage.

Even through her dizziness, Vaporeon noticed a change like that.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine. I'm askin' about you. Just answer the question"

Maybe he'd slipped in a puddle or something and had a mood. It was a terrible excuse in hindsight, but Vaporeon just wanted to rationalize any problems away and make her evening go right. She'd deal with the consequences tomorrow—

Uh... yeah, when even Alice can see it...

But she hadn't dealt with them tomorrow. Not even when he'd paid the check in that weirdly loopy handwriting he never used before. She hadn't dealt with the consequences in over a week, and Simisage had never been the same. He never wore his police badge around, never talked to her the same way he did before, and his handwriting…

…His handwriting. His handwriting.

Vaporeon woke up, sitting up in the straw bed in shock and breathing intensely. She knew. She knew. She knew she knew she knew she knew she knew.

You probably want to but the scene break back in between the flashback sequence and here, since... yeah. They feel different enough that they ought to be hard segregated into different scenes.

But that couldn't be right. Because if it was that meant-

That meant

That

It

No

She couldn't

She can't

He

He

But

But

It was.

Vaporeon retched in horror. And then she puked. And then she cried.

I personally feel that the entire sequence where Alice realizes that she's dealing with someone who's not really her partner works best if it's a bit more grouped together, even if it means cutting a couple bits. e.x. something like:

That meant that-

It. No-

She couldn't. She can't-

He. He- But-

But... it was.

Like it communicates just about the same sentiment, but uses half of the linespace of the original.

“You believe your own partner is conspiring to falsify evidence?” Mawile asked.

“Yes,” Vaporeon said. “More than believe. I heard him threaten it.

Mawile: "Boy is it convenient that you didn't turn your orb on to record that," 😐
Alice: "Look, I was shocked and taken aback, okay? And I'm not sure if these things are sensitive enough to keep pace with my hearing." >_>;

It was eight-forty-five. The lobby was once again filled with all the pokemon in the Expedition Society, who all stood lined up in a neat row like they usually did for morning briefings. Vaporeon and Simisage stood at the front of the stairs. Simisage held a connection orb discreetly in his paw.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you all here, with only fifteen minutes until the lockdown lifts, Vaporeon said, discreetly wiping away a tear on her cheek with her tail. "It isn't in vain: I've solved the case. And rest assured…" her eyes flicked over the room. "One of you in here is guilty."

"There really is a guilty party?" Bunnelby asked, eyeing everymon else in the room nervously.

"They know who they are," Vaporeon said. "Now allow me to explain to the rest of you. The guilty party, the one pokemon in this room who has unquestionably committed a crime, is my own partner."

Oh boy. Things are going to go places quickly.

At her side, Simisage looked at her in shock.

"You…" he stammered in disbelief. "You're accusing me? Wha? Explain. Now."

"Gladly," said Vaporeon, her tone hardening. She looked back towards the rest of the Expedition Society. "I first noticed something was off about Simisage when he began to routinely not wear his scarf. True to my deductions, he has not worn one for the last week and a half, and he isn't wearing one now."

Simisage looked down at his scarfless chest.

"That's no pretense to accuse someone of crimes over," he said angrily. "I just forgot it!"

Vaporeon: "Yeah, no. Anyhow, I wasn't done..."

"You didn't bring it," said Vaporeon. She turned to Mawile. "Mawile, if you please, Simisage's luggage?"

"Over here." Mawile strode over and grabbed Simisage's bag out from the storage room outside the hallway. She opened it, revealing its completely empty insides – save for a thick leather envelope.

"Open the envelope, please."

Mawile opened the envelope and pulled out the papers contained within. They were blank. Vaporeon turned back towards Simisage.

"You faked a warrant. This case never had any pretense or authorization from HAPPI. You broke the law in order to incriminate the Expedition Society. The only question left to answer is why."

I'm... suddenly reminded of those Gliscor from just outside Pokémon Plaza, since... yeah. They had a similarly half-assed disguise like this.

"I- I…" Simisage stammered.

“Luckily,” Vaporeon said, addressing the entire room. “I have that answer. I held a seventh interview before nightfall, between myself and Vice Chief Mawile. There, I found the last pieces of the puzzle.

"Picture this," she continued, addressing the entire room. "There are monsters in this world. Monsters that stay hidden until they see fit to strike from the shadows. And on the Air Continent, that is exactly what happens. Two monsters are responsible for the destruction of Pokemon Plaza. Two monsters with two missions. One heads to Pokemon Plaza to kill everymon there. The other—" she took a moment for a deep breath "—the other kills and replaces my partner, Simisage, in Baram Town."

Yeah, I suspected after the abrupt change in demeanor and mannerisms. But the half-assed fake warrants and luggage contents sealed the deal.

Simisage walked around the back of the restaurant, looking for a restroom that wasn't bird-suited. Damn birds, only thinking of themselves and no-mon else…

The creature slunk into the alleyway behind him. Simisage spun around at the sound, looking at the creature. It stood out against the alleyway's darkness; so dark that he wouldn't be able to see any of it if not for the fact that it was darker than everything else.

"Who's that'?" he asked. The creature didn't answer. Simisage took a step forward.

"You ain't scarin' me," he said. "I just dealt with an emboar today and won; wanna bet on if I can take you—"

The creature lunged. Simisage never even got the chance to scream.

So wait, is there just a Simisage statue chilling in a back alley somewhere in Baram Town?

"You can't prove that!" Simisage cried out angrily. "You're crazy, that's what you are!"

"Maybe I am, Vaporeon said. "But, to quote something you once told me: if I may be allowed to insinuate further, I think I'll begin to sound a lot more sane."

[ ]

"See, the monsters are crafty," Vaporeon continued. "If they reveal their presence to the world, they know that they will be wiped out. They need to disappear. They need somemon else to be seen doing something that will remove suspicion off them entirely."

[ ]

"To dismiss the barest notion that they even exist! And so a plan begins to form in their heads," she continued. "When the Expedition Society is drafted to investigate Pokemon Plaza, they make their move."

[ ]

"One monster sneaks back to Pokemon Plaza the night after you arrive, murdering and posing as Simisage," she said. "It then attacks their lapras escort, pins a note to it, and sends it floating into the harbor on a raft—pretenses for a future plot."

[ ]

"Now cue the Ambassador. The Ambassador's role is simple—he needs to stop all of you from delivering the photos to HAPPI," Vaporeon mused. "Because if HAPPI catches wind of what has happened in Pokemon Plaza that soon, the monster's plan is down the drain. I can only assume the Ambassador has been replaced or otherwise manipulated as well, explaining his disappearance."

[ ]

"The Ambassador sabotages your mission efforts. His plan initially fails, but there is a failsafe, and that’s where Simisage comes in. With all evidence of Pokemon Plaza's massacre erased forever and the Expedition Society behind bars, the monsters are free to plot their next move.”

You probably want to break Vaporeon's Columbo moment into several paragraphs with description interwoven in-between. Since... yeah, the Exploration Society's members would be getting progressively more and more nervous about her theory there considering what it means for their immediate safety if she's right. And presumably they're reacting to all of this.

Vaporeon turned to Simisage. "And that's why you came here, isn't it?" she accused. “With a fake warrant and a pocket of lies. The Expedition Society is your scapegoat, a debacle to keep the authorities in the dark while you go about your plans, isn't it?"

"Perhaps you're forgettin' somethin'," Simisage said. "I'm not a monster! I'm not! I'm not I'm not i'M nOt!"

Archen: "A-Ampharos? I... think that we should strongly consider stepping into another room right about now."

"Prove it to me," said Vaporeon. "What were we doing in Baram Town?"

There was a delayed pause before Simisage answered. "Vacationin'," he finally said.

"Wrong." Vaporeon said. "We were solving a theft, and celebrating the successful completion of that mission. Try again. What's my name?"

"…Vaporeon?" Simisage guessed.

"Wrong. It's Elizabeth. Try again."

"…Elizabeth?" Simisage guessed one last time.

"Wrong again," Vaporeon said sternly. "My name is Alice, and you are not my partner."

Actually, wait. Why aren't the Exploration Society reacting to all of this more in live-time given that Alice has provided very strong circumstantial evidence that Simisage is a Void Shadow right in front of them?

- Most of the Exploration Society is nervously backpedaling right about now -
Buizel: "Um... yeah, Ampharos, we don't happen to have any rooms in here with reinforced doors, do we? As in 'bank vault door'-tier reinforced?"

Ampharos: "No, and I'm not fully convinced it'd help us even if we did have one." ._.

Simisage was silent for a minute. Ampharos tensed up in case a fight was about to break out, and the rest of the Expedition Society quickly followed his example.

Simisage breathed hard. Then he suddenly bolted for the door. He threw it open with a thrust, running for the outdoors as fast as he could.

"Don't let him get away!" Alice yelled, and everymon began to run after it. Simisage ran out the front door with the connection orb in his hand, then ran through the square. It stopped at the sewer monhole. As Alice and Expedition Society dashed out the front door after it, Simisage turned around to look back at them. It grinned, and then slowly began to dissolve and sink in…

Mawile: "Uh... yeah, even without Chesto Berries, I don't think that I'm going to be sleeping for a while."

A sudden water gun from Buizel jolted the monster away from the monhole, and then Bunnelby charged forward while Simisage was still recovering. On the other side, Jirachi flew around and cut the Simisage off. It looked both ways at all the pokemon surrounding it, then lunged past Jirachi for the entrance to Lively Town. Jirachi was sent flying to the side, but Ampharos quickly let off a dragon rage that hit the creature directly. Simisage hit the ground hard. The connection orb hit the ground and rolled to a stop near the sidewalk. It was cracked but still intact.

Now crippled, Simisage began to crawl for the connection orb. Racing forward, Bunnelby saw that his legs were regenerating.

"Everymon get over here!" he yelled. "It's growing back!"

Simisage hissed at Bunnelby – unnaturally, gutturally – and then fired a large shadowy ball at Bunnelby. Bunnelby ducked and barely leaped out of the way. He saw it catch the end of a chimney, leaving it stone grey.

All:

Simisage(?): "nOw yOU've DoNE iT!"

The rest of the Expedition Society ran up, joining Bunnelby as they watched whatever had pretended to be Simisage crawl over to the orb. Its legs had nearly grown back, but instead of Simisage’s legs they were jet black, twisted in unnatural ways and with the consistency of goo. Everymon watched as he suddenly spasmed, his form exploding and then reforming for split seconds into other pokemon: An elgyem, an impidimp, a togedemaru, all wearing purple HAPPI scarves.

Ampharos didn’t waste time. He quickly charged another dragon rage up, but ‘Simisage’ clutched its hand around the orb first. It looked back at him, grinning evilly with a mouth full of more jet-black teeth than any simisage should have.

"Just… have… to send… this… video…" it hissed, performing the motions as it spoke. Ampharos blasted Simisage with the dragon rage, and then the rest of the Expedition Society followed suit with their own attacks.

It was too much for the monster to bear: it began to disintegrate, evaporating up into the air and convulsing like it was in agony as it did. And then slowly, it was gone.

All:

Ampharos: "... Hey, we got that on video in case the monster got that message through, right?"
All:

Ampharos: "... Right?" ._.;

"So what are you going to tell HAPPI?"

The ferry Vaporeon and 'Simisage' had used to travel to Lively Town floated in the docks. The ferrymon would be waiting for them, but not for much longer. Dedenne had followed to see Vaporeon off, even helping carry Vaporeon's bag for her (which was no easy feat when the bag was bigger than you were).

"I don't know," Vaporeon said, lowering her head. "I guess I'll tell them nothing of consequence was discovered. And…" she went silent for a minute. "I'll have to find a new partner. I'll be keeping an eye out. If I find something, I'll go to you first."

She took her bag off of Dedenne and tossed it over her shoulder. Dedenne waved at her as she climbed onto the ferry. Vaporeon waved back the best she could.

Slowly, the ferry sailed away towards the setting sun. And soon, it was gone.

Mawile: "... In retrospect, we really should've recorded our confrontation with Simisage there, since... yeah." >_>;
Archen: "... Come to think of it, how did nobody in Lively Town manage to get any of that on tape or photographed? Didn't we just run through a bunch of very public areas?" ·v·

Zoroark-as-Braixen sat in the seat closest to the door of the mayor’s office. The large vane of the windmill slowly descended over the windows, casting the entire room briefly into darkness for the umpteenth time. He had been waiting out there for hours, thinking about what Honchkrow and Primarina were talking about. In fact, if he leaned close enough to the door…

Zoroark-as-Braixen leaned over in his seat, trying to get a good idea of what was being said.

“Do I have your word that no-mon hears anything about these photos?” Primarina asked.

“Your secret is safe with me.”

“Good. And remember, there’s a good mention for you for the Rescue Guildmaster position if you keep that secret. If not…” Primarina lowered his voice, and Zoroark-as-Braixen had to strain his ears to hear the last part: “I know yours.”

Ah yes, blackmail networks. Just what every perfectly healthy and properly-functioning political system needs.

There was something that sounded like Honchkrow reluctantly trilling in confirmation, and then the door opened and Primarina slithered out.

“Come on,” he said to Zoroark. "Let’s go."

The walk through Baram Town was quiet and somber. The sun had nearly set over the horizon, and the sky was a quickly darkening blue. It set over trash-ridden streets, buildings covered in paintings that stretched all the way up to the second floor, houses with their windows smashed in, and pokemon hanging in quiet, huddled gangs on the streets. Some of them wore the customary scarves of the Rescuer’s Guild, others didn’t. They all regarded Primarina and Braixen quietly as the two of them walked towards the harbor, their faces painting shades of orange from the small fires they were huddling around.

Zoroark-as-Braixen just turned his head away, kept it down, kept walking. The harbor wasn’t too far from here.

Zoroark: "... Well at least the town isn't actively burning down right now?"

Primarina: "Yet. Let's just hurry up and get out of here." >_>;

Primarina did not seem in the best of straits. He hadn’t been for almost a week. He was slouched over, tired, and responded to few of Zoroark’s prompts. Once or twice, Zoroark throught he had seen what looked like a black spark or two zipping out of the corner of his eye. He was beginning to get worried. And now Primarina had been piloting the Exeggutor to an unknown location out at sea after leaving Baram Town. There was a storm brewing in the distance, and that only amplified Zoroark’s worry.

Soon, the boat stopped all together. Zoroark had been playing a game of checkers lazily with himself on the front deck when the boat bumped to a stop and knocked over his board all together. He looked around, his eyes settling on the ship’s cabin. He cast another look towards the storm in the distance, which was only growing closer. The rumble of thunder a few seconds later punctuated its near arrival. What was Primarina doing?

And with that thought motivating him, Zoroark got up and headed over to the captain’s cabin.

Zoroark burst inside, looking around. The steering wheel was near the front, and Primarina was slouched over it, asleep. He must have collapsed! Zoroark quickly attempted to wake him.

“Hey,” he hissed. “Primarina. You awake?” Primarina didn’t stir. “Are you okay??” Zoroark shook him. Primarina was completely unresponsive. Slowly, he slid off and onto the floor, spinning the wheel as he fell. The ship suddenly made a violent bank to the right, and Zoroark was barely able to grab onto something as the cabin tilted. He grabbed onto the steering wheel, stopping it from spinning uncontrolled. Slowly, the ship began to stabilize itself.

Zoroark took a second to catch his breath, then paced around the cabin for a few seconds. What had happened? Was Primarina dead? This was bad. And trapped out here all alone too?

Whelp, looks like he got rewarded for his failure after all.

Okay. He had to calm down. He could get out of this. He just had to figure out the first step – getting to land. He just had to steer the ship back there! That could work.

…If only he knew how to work a ship as big as this.

And he didn’t.

Zoroark tried pulling on the steering wheel, but either because the ship’s violent bank had broken something or other powers were stopping the boat, it wouldn’t budge. Eventually, Zoroark gave up. What was another good way to reach land?

The transmission machine. That was a good fallback. But there would be a six-hour delay between transmissions, and Zoroark wasn’t sure they would make it. He looked at the storm outside through the window. It was getting uncomfortably close.

Zoroark: "Boy do I hope that this thing didn't cheap out on lifeboats." ._.

And then he noticed from outside the window that the water was glowing.

Zoroark exited the captain’s cabin and marched up to the starboard railing, looking over the side at the glowing water. There was something under there. Something large.

Something moving…

And then it attacked.

The captain’s cabin – easily half the ship – was suddenly gone. The large crimson head of a massive gyarados crashed back into the ocean. The ship splintered. Zoroark fell. The game of checkers fell off the deck and was lost to sea forever.

You see, this is why you want to invest in Pokémon in the sea and air to babysit your fragile ship so this sort of stuff doesn't happen to you.

Zoroark:

Zoroark acted quickly. He looked at all the debris floating away – there was a good large plank, easily a makeshift raft. Large enough to hold him. Zoroark didn’t see his fake wand anywhere – it must have been caught up in the wreckage. Oh well. He didn’t need it anyway. He jumped onto the plank, and none too soon: the water began to glow again, and just a second later the other half of the ship was snatched up in the gyarados’ mouth.

Zoroark watched as the gyarados’ massive head slowly retreated back into the ocean. Then there was nothing but the wrecked remains of the Exeggutor in a state, which he stared at in a state of distant shock. Shivering, Zoroark crawled onto the plank completely. The water had lost its glow; it seemed like the red gyarados wasn’t concerned with small prey like him.

And then all was silent, and Zoroark only had the storm he was floating away from for company.

I'm... not convinced that was really a Gyarados there given that it ate a ship.

Alright, final thoughts:

I liked the chapter in general. It took me a while to realize where things were going, but when I did, boy did things get lit. The chapter as a whole did a pretty good job of both faking out the initial direction of where things were going, as well as seeing the final payoff.

As for things I wasn't so hot on, aside from the obvious errors I spotted... there were a few bits where things felt really dense and in need of decompression. Especially the two conspiracy outline scenes. Alice's is a bit more noticeable since she's canonically in front of 14 others and nobody's really reacting to her putting two and two together and gradually realizing "... Holy Mystery Dungeon, she's making sense. Why is she making sense?!

" considering both the claim and what it means for them.

As for the chapter writ large... It's honestly scene-dense (there's 27 of them, and two that looked like it used to be 2 separate ones but got taped together) and long enough as a whole that you could honestly split it into a chapter called The Calm and another called The Storm without too much effort. Especially if you expanded the tail half a bit.

If you do go that route, there's two places that I can see where things would thematically work as dividing points.

One would be the end of Simisage's final interrogation with Ampharos, since it goes from goofy and largely played for laughs to flatly throwing water over the audience and putting the Exploration Society's future in danger, and already is a pretty even dividing point for the chapter with zero additional changes (approx 6200 + 5800 words).

The otherpotential place that would work as a thematic splitting point would be the first instance of this line:

“One last thing,” she said. “You gave some smart answers for the recording. Now tell me the truth. All of it.”

Since it's the point where the alarm bells of "something is seriously wrong" are ringing forcefully enough that even Alice breaks protocol since she smells a rat and when the sides of the conflict become """Simisage""" versus "everybody else", is the point where the plot tacks firmly towards Void Shadows and their activities, and is a fairly dramatic note to end on as a cut. Granted, that requires patching in a new opening and expanding everything after that point a bit more since otherwise it's a tad short, but still. An option to consider if you do go that route.

Though altogether I quite enjoyed the chapter, even if it took me a while to get through. Good work @SparklingEspeon , and I'll be looking forward to rounding out my review trade in the coming week. I'll be eager for more once you're done touching up the second half of your story. ^^

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Alright. It's a long weekend, and I'm feeling like taking advantage of it to after three thousand years long last, wrap up the last of my review exchange of Psychic Sheep.

Chapter 20

Breaking: Pokemon Plaza found deserted, Air Continent economy takes a major hit

>"""deserted"""

After weeks of mystery surrounding the cutoff in communications with the Rescuer's Guild, authorities have finally revealed the truth behind the incident. The guild and city was found completely deserted by responders who arrived on the scene, and everyone within a mile radius of the city has been classified as missing.

"It's honestly baffling," said Vaporeon Alice, one of HAPPI's investigators. "An entire city, some of the most accomplished explorers in the world, gone missing. None of us have ever seen anything like it."

In the wake of the Guild's shutdown, the Air Continent has been sent reeling. HAPPI officials are expected to move in to stabilize the economy and choose a new guildmaster within the coming weeks.

~ The Lively Town Times

I'm pretty sure that almost exactly everything of that was a massive, massive, lie, but okay there LTT. Also boy is that convenient on HAPPI's part that they're just swooping in to name a new guildmaster for a once-formerly independent guild.

…Hello.

Espurr fell back on her behind in startlement, landing on solid blackness. The rest of the bedroom behind her had crumbled away—it hadn’t ever been real in the first place. She trained all her mind’s strength on the cyclone of voices towering above her, aiming it like a cannon yet to be fired. She felt the heart of the vortex hesitate. They both knew: It could get hurt in here.

“Who are you?” Espurr questioned loudly to the swirling vortex of blackness and whispers.

Espurr: "(Okay, so I get that I should probably know this for plot reasons, but... do I really wanna know right now?)"

Me?

The voice boomed down, a culmination of a thousand weaker whispers that crept into her ears. Some were children. Some were adults. Some were male. Some were female. All were one.

I am the voice that lives in everyone’s head.

Well that's not creepy at all.

Espurr didn’t know what that meant, but there were more important things to ask.

“Alright… Where are we?” she asked next, keeping her mind’s eye trained on the voice. It was waiting for her to slip up, to lower her guard.

This is the In-Between. the subconscious of a mind, where memories go to die and be found. Few pokemon can access it.

Oh, so it's a Collective Unconsciousness. Let's just hope that no nasty buggers crawl out of this one, since MegaTen has taught me very well that bad things happen when they do. ^^;

“Then why are we here?” Espurr asked.

Because I have willed it to be.

The vortex swirled around Espurr, then disintegrated into nothing right before her eyes. Espurr quickly looked around to see where it went, but it was gone.

This world is rotting. It is a withered corpse of what it once was. Soon by my hand it shall cease to exist. But… you do not need to die with it.

... Oh boy, this is Dark Matter in this Collective Unconsciousness. That's not concerning at all. .-.

The voice boomed out of nowhere, resounding all around her. The darkness was its home, and it was blending in perfectly. Espurr turned around in the blackness, looking around to see where it was coming from. But she could see nothing.

You have come from a different world; A different time. your captor, the one who brought you here, has robbed you of everything you once knew. You were not given the chance to decide whether you would like to go; you were taken. I ask of you: would you like to go back?

Espurr: "I'm sorry, wh-wha...?"

Espurr breathed heavily, looking around in vain. She didn’t like what this voice was saying. And yet…

“What does that mean?” she asked the blackness firmly, over the whispering chorus of voices that had grown in volume.

I could undo it all. Return you to where you came. Let you discover who you were before you were stolen. Bless you with your old life. Just like I blessed you with the knowledge of this world’s language.

That made Espurr pause for a minute.

"That was you?"

Oh, so that's how Espurr's literally became literate overnight. That's... more than a little worrisome.

For just a minute, she was actually listening to what the voice had to say.

Indeed. Do you now see the [mercy] of your captor? To take from you so heartlessly? To not even leave you with that one simple thing? you deserve better. You are not deserving of your fate as a pawn. Allow me to restore what your captor has taken.

Given how Dark Matter there is trying to make the argument of how bad the presence that brought Espurr into the present day is, you probably want to s / mercy / cruelty

Also:
>home let me take you

That's... not creepy at all.

It tempted Espurr. To know all the secrets she had been dying for ever since she had woken up in that mystery dungeon three weeks ago…

She almost said yes.

She almost let the words enrapture her.

But she knew better.

“What’s the catch?!” she yelled up at the blackness over the chorus of voices. They were chanting something; she could barely make out the words among the incessant whispering-

Espurr: "Since let's get real, all of this is just too perfect right now."

—human—

—threat—

—rip—

—Tear—

—KILL—

—Not yet—

—cease…—

Catch? You will abandon this world as you know it and return to your old life.

>let me KILL you

Espurr: "That... sounds like a pretty big catch beyond what you're saying." 😰

Espurr spun around; the voice had come from behind her. The void was rematerializing, a thousand whispers filtering into the distance once she had noticed.

The answer should be no, Espurr’s first gut instinct told her. But then other parts of her began to think. Was it really that bad a choice? She had been here three weeks. That was barely enough time to grow attached to anything here. And she had a whole life to go back to, one where there weren’t creepy voices in her dreams and beheeyem stalking her every move. Maybe she should leave. Maybe there were others who missed her.

But then she thought of Tricky. What would Tricky do if she up and vanished one day?

Uh.... yeah, I don't think that Tricky would exactly take things well if Espurr abruptly vanished into the ether at this point in time.

And that was what ultimately swayed Espurr’s mind.

“No,” said Espurr. “I think I want to stay here. I’ve made up my mind.”

Espurr: "Well, this weird voice thing will totally be reasonable about this, right?"

The wrong answer. But do not saY I didn’t gIVE you a CHANCE…

The voices all around Espurr suddenly began to rise in intensity, getting louder and louder until Espurr could hear clearly what they had to say—

—Rip—

—Tear—

—Maul—

—Kill—

—Kill her kill her NOW—

Espurr: "Uh... yeah, that didn't go so great. To say the least. (Even if I kinda expect this was where things were headed.)"

“Get out!” Espurr screamed over the chorus, now terrified. “Get out of my head!”

The voices only got louder. And then the vortex began to form right above Espurr again. It was angry. It began to reach out for her from above, winds and whispers swirling with all the intensity of a hurricane…

Espurr lashed back. She wanted to explode, to blow the vortex apart like she’d blown up the classroom, if only she could find the right mental snag…

And then she did. The dream BOOMED, and Espurr blacked out—

I... don't think that was just her dream that blew up there. ^^;

What lived in the Ancient Barrow awoke from Its slumber. It clawed its way through the Barrow’s decrepit doors, Its limbs meeting the cool night. Its claws driving into the porch’s wood. For the seal was now broken, and It could roam free once more.

Hunt.

Find.

Kill.

I see the effects of last chapter's gastertext have finally come due.

—Espurr hit the floor of her bedroom.

Her real bedroom. Espurr scrabbled her paws along the very solid, very rugged, very visible floorboards in joy—she had escaped!

At the cost of a slight headache. Espurr rubbed her forehead in pain. Exploding, even in her dream, still took a lot out of her. She sat back against the straw bed she had fallen out of, staring up at light from the window tiredly. It was sunny. At the very least, that meant she wouldn’t have to go to bed again.

Whelp, I guess this bright and sunny day's gonna go places quickly.

The Pelipper Post visited Serenity Village that day. There hadn’t been any word from the Pelipper Post in weeks, so when a lone pelipper flew over Serenity Village and dropped a single copy of the Lively Town Times smack in the middle of the Village Square, the entire village went out to investigate. It was Simipour who took the newspaper in his hands, uncurling it and reading the news headline:

“Breaking News: Pokemon Plaza on Air Continent found deserted; Air Continent economy takes a major hit,” Simipour read aloud. He and the other adults all traded concerned looks.

Oh hey, it's the teaser news clipping.

“Pokemon Plaza?” Tricky asked, her tail drooping. Simipour nodded. “But that means…”

Tricky began to breathe hard, at a loss for words. She turned away from everymon else, and was silent for a while. Everymon’s attention—Espurr included—returned to Simipour.

Simipour folded the newspaper. “Run along,” he said, waving off the children. “This isn’t a matter for children.”

Ah yes, Tricky just casually discovering that her childhood hero is MIA/KIA. What a lovely feeling to go through.

Espurr was about to combat push back on that with her own counterargument, but then saw many of the adults in the square, from Sawsbuck to Hippopotas to Lotad, nodding their heads in agreement. It seemed their minds were made up. It was a lost cause. Espurr said nothing.

Ursaring did a fist pump.

“Yes,” she said in a hushed declaration of excitement. “Not a child anymore!”

Espurr: "Is that seriously what you're worried about right now Ursaring?" >_>;
Ursaring: "Yes? And?" :?

Uncle swatted her on the ear.

Yeeeeeah, she kinda had that coming. :V

The adults all convened at Kangaskhan’s Café (aside from Kangaskhan, who had capitalized on the few ‘mon who weren’t interested in the weekly news and had headed off for an easy breakfast instead), leaving all six of the children all on their lonesome in the square.

To everymon’s surprise, Deerling was the first one among them to talk.

“…So,” she said awkwardly. “You guys… wanna give chess a go?”

Espurr: "Yeesh, we're that desperate to find something else to do, huh?" .-.
Deerling: "Look, in case you haven't noticed, but the atmosphere is kinda oppressive right now and we should be trying to do literally anything else to try and get our minds off of it." >_>;

The air suddenly became laced with an awkwardness thick enough that a knife couldn’t cut it.

“Eh,” Pancham shrugged. “Better than doing nothing.”

Oh boy. Though hopefully they have the foresight to just Calvinball their chess game here. o<o

Deerling had gone back to her house to quickly retrieve the chess kit and the manual, and then the six of them had set it up in the square to play. There was only room for two players at a time, so they took turns playing and watching each other play. After reading the manual, Goomy and Deerling went first. Goomy’s slimy paws weren’t made for pushing all the pieces around, but he managed to beat Deerling by just a hairline. Or perhaps Deerling had let him win. Espurr couldn’t tell.

Espurr: "Wait, are we even playing this game properly or just making it up as we go along?"

All: "Does it matter?"

Tricky—reluctantly—went up against Shelmet next. By the end of their game, Espurr silently concluded that Tricky had no tact or strategy whatsoever, and Shelmet was a closet chess genius. Their game had lasted all of five minutes.

... I didn't expect that one to happen, but the more you know…

Then Espurr faced Pancham. She knew it wouldn’t be easy; Pancham was sharp when he wasn’t being mean. Their game lasted longer than the last two combined had, but when Pancham finally knocked over Espurr’s nidoqueen the others clapped and rejoiced. The three games combined lasted them until the end of the adults’ conference.

Oh, so the pieces are all Nidos, huh? I just know that Venia Silente would love that. :V

It was late afternoon when the adults all streamed out of the Café Connection, all walking around or herding their childen off home. Even Kecleon’s was setting up shop rather late.

Small error there, since there's presumably more than one child for all those adults.

Carracosta cleared his throat, standing over Espurr, Tricky, and Deerling (The rest had had to leave early).

“Oh! Right.” Tricky stood up, shaking herself off obliviously. “I’m helping make dinner tonight. I gotta go. Bye!” She waved at Espurr, and then followed Carracosta eastwards. Then it was just Espurr and Deerling. Espurr quickly put the pieces of the chess kit back in the box. She and Deerling both stood up.

“So… good game today,” Deerling said. She held out her hoof to shake, and Espurr shook it.

[It had been such a lackadaisical afternoon that Espurr had forgotten all about telling Tricky about the Beheeyem.]

I'm... not quite sure what the last paragraph means, since I could've sworn that Tricky was present for the Beheeyem ambush. If Espurr is talking about her plans for dealing with the Beheeyem that Deerling pushed her to come up with... yeah, you want to more explicitly indicate that in the prose.

“What was in the newspaper?” Espurr asked over dinner. She had forgotten about it over the course of the afternoon, but after everymon had gone home and the sky had gotten dark it had slowly come back to her. She didn’t know where Pokemon Plaza was, much less what had happened to it, but now she wanted to know.

“We’re not talking about it,” said Audino.

“But I want to talk about it,” Espurr replied matter-of-factly. Audino was silent for a minute.

“Children shouldn’t have to deal with things like this so soon,” she finally said. “Cherish your youth while you still have it. You’ll thank me later.”

Actually, wait, why is the loss of Pokémon Plaza such a big deal to Serenity Village? Since I actually don't recall it ever being established that they had a tie to it.

Like it kinda gives me vibes of what people were doing with their kids on 9/11, but for it to have that level of impact and shock, there needs to be some manner of a cultural connection / link on Serenity Village's part, and I'm not sure if it was really hinted at in the past.

Kinda like how if the news came out that Cloud Nine was shot down over the sea, I would expect Capim Town's reaction to essentially be more "Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead" as opposed to any sort of meaningful mournful shock.

“Why can’t I know?” Espurr pressed.

“Because you’re thirteen!” Audino said. “You’re too young to be worrying over things like this. You should grow up and evolve before you have to worry like that!”

Espurr had the urge to tell Audino she already had a thousand things to worry about aside from whatever had happened in Pokemon Plaza, but that probably wouldn’t do her any favors. Reluctantly, she dropped the topic, and both pokemon went back to eating their dinners.

Considering the sort of stuff that Espurr's already been going through... Audino's decision there was more than a little ill-advised since it might've help draw connections between what was going on there and the increasing local weirdness.

Watchog guarded the school every Thursday and Sunday. All through the day, and then all through the night too. It was getting more than a little grating. He honestly was starting to think he was beginning to hallucinate.

He’d see things, lurking just around corners and flitting through windows. Sometimes, they’d take the shape of a blue flame. Other times, he’d see nothing but the faintest outline of something standing in the distance. One time, something had whooshed through him, knocking him back on the ground and leaving him very winded. All of these incidents combined had thoroughly spooked Watchog, but tepig would evolve into pelipper before he’d admit he was too scared for this job. After all, any ‘mon who could handle the demon of mischief that was Tricky could certainly handle a little guard duty.

Narrator: "It wasn't a hallucination."

Also, I’d recommend splitting that one big paragraph there.

Watchog made a round of the school, jumping at the sudden trill of a cricket as he looped back around. He wasn’t scared! Just… alert. It was time to make his routine detour up to the school buildings. He was paying double attention to that ever since somemon—At least, he thought it was somemon—had broken into the library a couple of weeks back. And then again just a day ago. He wasn’t going to be bested like that again.

As Watchog marched up the hill towards the School Clinic, he saw that the door to the library was open. Watchog’s heart almost stopped. The thief had come back!

Alright. Well, they weren’t going to escape this time. Not if Vice Principal Watchog had anything to say about it. He slowly crept towards the building, making sure to stay as silent as possible. The library was as dark as all the other buildings. Watchog couldn’t hear anymon in there either. He slowly crept in the door, looking around. The library looked empty. But Watchog knew it wasn’t.

Oh. Oh dear. Good thing you've more or less methodically destroyed the audience's sympathy for Watchog in the last 20 chapters, huh? ^^;

He stalked through the bookshelves, looking around. There was nothing that he could see. Maybe they were near the back, then—

—A book fell. Near the back. It hit the floor with a loud thump, drawing Watchog’s attention immediately. He’d be a liar if he said he hadn’t jumped then.

Aha! So they were in the back! Watchog sneered. Distance wasn’t going to do them much good now. Abandoning stealth, he began to walk towards the back of the library quickly. The intruding ‘mon dove behind the shelf to the right. Watchog sped up, grabbing the side of the bookcase and looking around it. There was nothing there. Whatever was in this library with him had already travelled around the other side.

Then Watchog heard a footstep. A big, slimy, heavy footstep. Then another. And then a third one. And only then did Watchog realize that maybe, just maybe, he was in over his head here. He began to quickly edge around the bookcase, heading for the other side before whatever was stomping this way could reach him—

Watchog: "(I swear, i-if this somehow turns out to be the troublemaker again...)" >.<

—Watchog reached the other side of the bookcase just as the other 'mon in the room lunged around the back. He heard it stomp forward onto the floor, and then it stood in place. Watchog took a deep breath. It was time to figure out what he was dealing with here. Then he took another deep breath. And another. Berry crackers, was he really doing this?

But it had to be done. He was the school guard. Watchog took one last deep breath, then carefully peeked around the other side of the bookcase. Something stood, Cloaked in shadows. Completely still. Watchog forced himself to face it.

“Alright, you’re busted!” he called out. “Come out here and face me like a true ‘mon!”

The creature tilted its head rigidly. It was silent. Eyeless. Countless spines protruded from its back.

Then it lunged—

Oh hey, there's a song for this moment:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnoqzFrQ_aY


I mean, shame about the rest of the town that's probably got a life expectancy of about 5 minutes, but still. :V

Slowly coming to. Espurr brought herself to her feet amongst the dry, cracked ground. Another dream. She kept her wits about here, not sure what to expect. She stood in the middle of the village square, but it was completely leveled—no building stood taller than a foot off the ground. Rubble lay everywhere. The sky was red. And everything was quiet.

Espurr looked around cautiously. What was this?

I see you...

Espurr: "I swear, at this rate these dreams keep popping up, I need to start eating Chesto Berries to skip sleep." >_>;
- Beat moment -
Espurr: "... Actually, I wonder if anyone else is going through this and getting the same idea." .-.

And then Espurr lurched forward without her consent. She began to run out of the village square and down southwards, away from the voice.

There is no escape.

Whatever was controlling Espurr ran faster, and she didn’t think she wanted to stop anymore. She looked up, and then she saw it: a lone mountain, wreathed in flame—

Espurr: "I-Is that Revelation Mountain? Wh-What on earth-?"

—And then everything went dark, and Espurr had control of her body again. She stood up in the blackness of the In Between, waiting for whatever was about to happen next—

—She was on a path. At the bottom of the hill. At the top of the hill, the abandoned School Grounds sat. Above them, a storm brewed and rumbled ominously in the blood red sky.

She was in the library. Her head twisted to the side without her consent, and she saw the dark blue sky.

Thump. A book fell.

She was spying on Watchog from behind a bookshelf. Slowly, she crept around Watchog as he walked closer.

She was Watchog again. She watched, as something lurched from the shadows towards her—

Wait, so is Espurr toggling between seeing things from Watchog's perspective and another? Since... I can't tell if that was the intent or not from "She was Watchog again" but it doesn't quite come through, and I'd expect Espurr to be a bit more weirded out after realizing what was going on for the vision and putting two and two together.

—Espurr was suddenly pulled straight into the ground, and landed on the hard, wet, wooden boards of a bridge. The rickety old bridge. In the distance, the Crooked House sat, glowing much like the mountain had. It was the only thing that glowed, and it glowed blood red. And there was nowhere to go but near it. And so—slowly—Espurr went. She crept across the bridge, avoiding all the spots she knew were rotting. But this bridge wasn’t real. If she said so, there no rotting spots.

Suddenly, as if in response to that one stray thought, the entire bridge began to crumble away behind her. Espurr looked back at the sound, noticing the decay.

“Come on.”

With that, Espurr quickly made haste as the bridge continued to fall apart. But the rate of decay was faster than she could run and she wasn’t going to make it—

—Espurr jumped, and landed on the island just seconds before the entire bridge crumbled away into nothingness. Thankfully, the decay did not continue onto the island. Espurr looked at her paws, which she had just realized were muddy. And suddenly, just like that, her belly was covered in mud. Great. Espurr wiped the mud on her paws off on the mud of the island, and stood up. The Barrow stood before her, glowing just like it had from a distance. Espurr stomped towards it. It wasn’t real. None of this was real—

Uh... yeah, just how sure are you of that, Espurr?

—the Barrow’s doors slammed open wide, showing Espurr more of that blood-red sky. Espurr took a few involuntary steps back. Alright. It not being real didn’t mean she wasn’t just a little scared of it.

A wind emerged from the Barrow’s doors, slowly pulling everything around it in through its entrance. And that included Espurr. As soon as she thought to get away the wind suddenly became too strong for her to resist and she was pulled in towards the doorway and then—

She was falling. Falling through that blood-red sky and everything around her was red red and more red and then she was back in blackness and she hit the ground.

Espurr got up, panting out of desperation. When was this going to end?

Espurr: "Well, that's one way to confirm that this isn't real, since I'm pretty sure that if it were, I ought to have been splattered by a fall like that." ^^;

Something stepped out of the shadows. Espurr spun to look at it. She could barely make out the fuzzy outline of something walking towards her…

…As it walked, it changed. It became larger. It sprouted grotesque claws. Its footsteps became heavy and slimy. Spines flexed and rose on its back.

And then it lunged for her—

Espurr:

Espurr awoke with a gasp just short of a scream. She glanced around her bedroom, still trying to see whatever had attacked her in her dreams. But it was long gone.

Espurr: "It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real..."

It was still rather early in the morning. Espurr walked out of Audino’s house and into the Village Square, the exploration bag slung over her shoulder. She adjusted the scarf Tricky had gifted her with; the one she had barely taken off since she’d been given it. There weren’t many ‘mon currently out in the square, so she was able to make her way to the west exit easily.

She headed to the west side of town, leisurely strolling through rows of houses that were either still dark or just waking up. Until she reached Tricky’s house. Espurr shouldered the bag and was just about to knock on the door—

But it suddenly opened for her, revealing a disheveled and still-sleepy Tricky. Her face immediately brightened upon seeing Espurr. Then she yawned.

“Did you have trouble sleeping too?” she asked.

“Do you want to go on a mission today?” Espurr asked without hesitation. “Yep!”

So much for that brilliant plan of trying to avoid running into the Beheeyem in the boonies again. ^^;

Glittering Cave was a smaller dungeon that wasn’t too far off from Serenity Village itself. Espurr was putting off telling Tricky about the Beheeyem, but her recent nightmares had shaken her enough that it wasn’t at the forefront of her mind anymore. She’d remember to tell her sometime during the mission. When she and Tricky booted up the expedition gadget once again, they saw a mission posting to rescue a butterfree that had gotten stuck at the bottom of the dungeon and couldn’t find their way out. That had seemed easy enough, and it was only one star, so Espurr and Tricky had taken it.

Uhh... yeah, same deal as the earlier bit about the Beheeyem. Since I assume this is what Deerling told Espurr to pass along to Tricky, but I think you want to be a bit more specific than "told about the Beheeyem". Since Tricky was there to see them back in Chapter 17, and... yeah, something about the phrasing makes it feel like it's the first time Tricky's hearing of this.

Glittering Mountain itself was more like a sunlit cave than a mountain. Espurr and Tricky wandered the maze of cave passages further and further downwards, but sunlight never stopped filtering in through the moss-covered walls no matter where they turned or how deep they went. The dungeon ferals here (and occasionally, the plain old animals) were incredibly weak and were easily bested by Espurr and Tricky at every turn.

In other words, a walk in the park. And a suitable distraction for the day.

Tricky: "Why do I get the weirdest feeling that you're tempting fate right now, Espurr?"

Espurr: "Er... no reason."

“I had this nightmare last night,” Tricky said as she and Espurr walked down one of the mystery dungeon’s fifth-floor corridors. For a second, Espurr was reminded of her own traumatizing nightmares, but she shook it off quickly. This mission was supposed to be an escape from all that.

“Bird!” Tricky suddenly cried.

A crow dove for them, letting out a feral shriek. Espurr blasted it to the ground with her mind and Tricky quickly roasted it with an Ember. Its tail feathers scorched, the crow quickly took flight and high-tailed it out of there. Espurr looked at Tricky as they began walking like normal again.

Well, it least it turned out better than for Wheatley and GLaDOS in Portal 2. :V

“What were you saying?” she asked.

“It was really weird,” Tricky continued. “I was in the school with Watchog, but then I was Watchog. And then something took him away and I saw the School but the sky was red and there was this big storm above it! And then everything went dark and the thing that took Watchog attacked me and then I woke up.”

Espurr stopped. She looked straight at Tricky.

“How do you know what I dreamed about last night?”

... Okay, now I'm starting to wonder if Mawile really is inhaling Chesto Berries to try and dodge dreams like these since... yeah, we've established that Espurr isn't the only one getting them.

“Wait. You had the same dream??” Tricky asked a bit too loudly for their own good.

A cacophony of screeches erupted in the corner far ahead of them, and both Espurr and Tricky decided to high-tail it into the left-hand passage they were rapidly approaching. They pressed themselves against the walls just in time to watch an entire flock of crows zoom past where they were hiding, hoots and caws and all. Espurr slumped back against the wall they’d been pressed into in relief once they were gone, and then both she and Tricky lowered their voices into a hush.

I think that this bit works a bit better if it's divided up into two paragraphs.

“Come to think of it, has anymon in town seen Vice Principal Watchog in the last couple of days?” Espurr asked.

“He wasn’t there when everymon gathered yesterday,” Tricky whispered back.

“The last time I saw him was on Saturday in Kangaskhan’s Cafe,” Espurr said. “He was complaining about ghosts.”

“And it’s Monday today…” Tricky added.

“…We should ask around town,” said Espurr. She pulled out the expedition gadget, projecting it on the wall. “The dungeon’s only six floors. That butterfree has to be around here somewhere.”

Yeeeeeeah, kind of a side effect to having a personality like Watchog's. Nobody thinks to worry if you've been missing for a while since you're just that unpleasant. ^_^;

They found Butterfree cowering in a small nook that had a stream of water running near it. Luckily, the dungeon wasn’t the type to fog over and start lashing out at intruders yet, but Butterfree had been overwhelmed by all the feral animals in the dungeon. Between the two of them with Butterfree in tow, they managed to find their way out of the dungeon in no time. It was the last floor, after all. Butterfree didn’t have copious amounts of anything as a mission reward, but offered Espurr and Tricky some odds and ends that she had scraped together.

Somehow it never occurred to me that the wibbly-wobbly of MDs in this setting would also work on vanilla animals. Though that makes me wonder if way, way back in the day, there was a time when it also worked on humans.

It was late afternoon by the time that Espurr and Tricky entered Serenity Village once again. There were noticeably fewer ‘mon out and about today, Espurr noted. They both stopped in the village square. Espurr shifted the exploration bag from one shoulder to another.

“I’ll start on the south side of town; you start on the west. Which one of us wants to go up to the school?”

“Shouldn’t we do that first?” Tricky asked. “What if he’s guarding it or something?”

That was fair.

I think you're missing a couple of words and punctuation from Tricky's sentence there, though maybe that's just me reading into things.

The school grounds were just as deserted as they had been all summer long. Espurr and Tricky walked into the empty space where they classroom had been, glancing around for any glimpse of Watchog. They saw none.

In the woods, something watched them.

... Great start to this search already!

“I don’t see him,” Espurr said, looking around. “If he was here, then he would have started yelling at us already.”

“Maybe he’s up in the library,” Tricky replied. “That’s where I saw him in my dream.”

Tricky: "Er... just what exactly are we going to find again?" ._.;
Espurr: "I... dunno, but let's find out."

They continued up the hill towards the school clinic, then took a hard right for the library. Espurr peeked in through the door that was ajar, looking around. She saw nothing but dusty musty books. Tricky peeked in next to her.

“The place looks empty…” Tricky said in disappointment.

“He definitely would have found us by now. He’s not here,” Espurr said. “We’re wasting our time.”

Tricky just pouted.

I'll admit, I was fully expecting them to find a Watchog statue there. Guess he got swallowed and dragged into shadows kinda like what happened to everyone in the canon Voidlands sequence.

Espurr stepped in the door and set Gabite's old exploration bag on the floor next to all the others. Audino was at the table, reading a book. She briefly glanced at Espurr as she walked in, then flipped the page and returned to reading.

“Have you seen Vice Principal Watchog?” Espurr asked.

“No, I haven’t.” Audino closed her book. “I think he’s up guarding the school. Did you check there?”

Espurr shook her head no. That was a lie. But would Audino really let her leave the house if she thought that Watchog had gone missing?

Considering how Audino and Watchog get along with each other, I'd have given nonzero odds of her reaction being:

“I haven’t yet,” Espurr said smoothly. “I’ll go do that now. Thank you.” She picked up the exploration bag, and began to head for the door--

“Is there something you need from him?” Audino asked. Espurr froze.

“Just… wanted some library books,” Espurr quickly improvised. And then she was out the door before Audino could say another thing to stop her.

- Beat moment -
Audino: "... Wait a minute, since when has Espurr cared enough to try and go to the library since school let out?"

I mean, technically, that one chapter when they built a treehouse, but I don't think she ever told Audino that. :V

“I put Watchog in charge of guarding the school this summer,” Principal Simipour said, mixing himself a cup of lum berry tea in the kitchen. “But if he isn’t there, I’m afraid I can’t tell you where he is.”

“Have you seen him at all over the past couple of days?” Espurr asked, following him into the parlor.

Simipour yawned, quickly setting his drink down in order not to spill it. “The last time we talked was on Friday. He was turning in his weekly report on occurrences at the school. ‘Strange things are happening’, he said.” He quickly downed the lum berry tea, then glanced inside the cup.

Yeah, no kidding there. .-.

“This stuff isn’t working…” Espurr heard him mutter under his breath. Then he turned back to her, that dopey smile once again plastered on his face.

“Well!” he exclaimed. “Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

“No thanks,” said Espurr.

Tricky: "Actually, I just realized... why are we so worried about Watchog when he's been nothing but mean and nasty to us this entire story?"

Espurr: "Because, A: That doesn't mean I want him to get hurt, B: For all we know that dream of the monster attacking him wasn't just a dream."
Tricky: "... Okay, fair point. Especially on the second." ._.;

“I’m looking for Vice Principal Watchog.”

Espurr sat at the Café Connection’s counter, talking to Kangaskhan. The café was moderately crowded, but it rarely wasn’t like that.

“Just a minute.” Kangaskhan nodded Espurr’s way, before tending to the order of a magby. Espurr turned around in her seat and stared out the window until Kangaskhan got back to her.

“What were you saying?” she asked, turning to Espurr.

“I was wondering if you’d seen Vice Principal Watchog,” Espurr said. “I know he comes here a lot.”

“Not since Saturday,” Kangaskhan said. “Sorry.”

Espurr glanced out the window, where she caught sight of Tricky running back into the square.

“Thanks anyway,” she said, and then she was out the door.

Espurr: "How on earth is nobody worried that Watchog has apparently fallen off the face of the earth since at least Saturday?" >_>;
Tricky: "Because it's Watchog?"
- Beat moment -
Espurr: "Okay, yeah. That's a fair point."

“Did you find anything?” Espurr asked as she met up with Tricky in the village square. ‘Mon passed all around them, completely oblivious to the concerns of two children.

Tricky shook her head. “Nothing! I went to Farfetch’d’s, Watchog’s house, the Principal… but he told me you already asked him.”

“So no-mon’s seen him since Saturday,” Espurr laid out. “And then you and I both had the exact same dream about him getting kidnapped. And then there’s the things I’ve been seeing in my bedroom…”

“Wait wha—“ Tricky began.

“Something’s been appearing in my bedroom at night,” Espurr explained. “I think whatever it is is the same thing that took Watchog.”

“Wait-wait-wait,” Tricky said. “You’ve been seeing ghosts in your bedroom and you didn’t tell me?”

I'm calling it now, Tricky was seeing the exact same sort of stuff in her own bedroom.

“I… I didn’t think it’d be safe.”

“Safe? Why? What, do you think the ghosts are going to beat us up?” Tricky tilted her head, almost like she was considering the possibility. “I don’t think we have many ghost-types in this town…”

“No, that’s…” this was getting harder to explain by the minute. Espurr shook her head. “That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

Oh, maybe not in that case.

Espurr took a quick look around the square to make sure that no-mon was listening in.

“I’m being hunted,” she said, her voice hushed. “Remember those pokemon that attacked us outside the treehouse on Thursday?”

Tricky nodded. She suddenly looked uneasy.

“Wait, you’re saying—”

“Beheeyem,” Espurr continued. “They’ve been on my case ever since I woke up in the forest two weeks ago. The nightmares started a few days after that, and I started seeing things in my room after I moved houses. There’s no way both of us having the same exact dream is a coincidence. Watchog’s disappearance and the ghosts must be connected.”

Tricky: "Espurr, why are you telling me all of this now?"

Espurr: "Look, it slipped my mind, okay?" >_>;

Tricky pawed the ground for a moment. “You mean those beheeyem took Watchog?”

“I don’t think so,” Espurr said. “We’d have seen the beheeyem if they entered the village. This has to be something else.”

“Then, what?” Tricky asked.

“I don’t know,” Espurr said. And she didn’t. She didn’t know nearly enough where it counted, and that was beginning to worry her.

“Can we tell an adult?” Tricky asked.

“Would any adults believe us?” Espurr pointed out. “There’s no point going to one unless we can prove something. And right now all we know is that Watchog’s missing.”

I mean, not that this isn't very Stranger Things in the kids keeping this all to themselves, but... yeah, they should've tried to put some feelers out to at least see if they'd get listened to or flatly laughed off.

“Right…”

“Hey.” A graveller nudged Espurr aside as he passed. “Mind getting out of the way? You’re blocking the entrance.” Espurr stood right outside the entrance of the Café Connection.

“Sorry,” Espurr said, moving aside. The graveller entered the café without a second thought.

- Beat moment -
Tricky: "... Did that guy seriously just hear all of that and not bat an eye?" .-.
Espurr: "You see, this is why I was saying telling adults would be a waste of time!" >_>;

Watchog coughed. His eyes flew open.

He was laying sideways on the ground. There was a small stream of swamp water flowing through, which was running straight into his…

Watchog quickly sat up, coughing and sputtering wildly. There was swamp water in his mouth! He rubbed his paws on his tongue, trying to clean it of the troublesome taste. The thief had knocked him out! Knocked him out with fire! He almost couldn’t believe it. Fire! In a library! He would be reporting this to Principal Simipour for sure, just as soon as he—

—And then Watchog realized that he wasn’t in the library anymore. He stood up, beginning to hyperventilate in fear. He stood in a narrow, crooked hallway, and the ground was mud with swamp water. The walls all around looked were coated in some viscous black… goo, and some of it came off on Watchog’s paw when he tentatively reached out to touch it. And then Watchog began to freak out.

Oh. Oh dear... 😰

Splash.

It came from down the hallway to his right. Watchog snapped his head in that direction. He let out a squeak of fear. It was the thief. The thief was back. It had dragged him down to… wherever this was and now it was going to kill him! Watchog was certain of it. Without thinking, he took off in the other direction, not caring about the noise he made on the way. He was not going to die today!

The hall twisted into another corridor that turned left into a passage that led to a dead end. Watchog bumped into the wall in panic, taking a second to react in disgust at all the goop that now covered his body. And then he scrabbled along the wall, looking—hoping—for some way out of this.

Oh so he did get shadow vored like in the canon Voidlands sequence.

Squelch. The creature appeared just outside of the hallway as he rounded the corner. It looked like it had melted out of the wall. Watchog turned around, then backed up against the wall. Where he had come from was a dead end… There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Unless…

Watchog suddenly let out a battle cry that could barely be heard from the end of the hallway. He began to charge for the beast with his head lowered. The beast didn’t move, not even when Watchog got close enough to fully see it—

—Watchog hit a tree root and his face suddenly ate swamp water. He lifted his head up out of the mud to see the creature slowly walking towards him. Its movements were eerily stiff, yet fluid in a stilted way. Watchog slowly edged back.

Well that display of bravery certainly lasted long.

“No, no no,” he mumbled softly, pleading in vain. “Not me. Not me. Somemon else. I won’t tell anymon what you were doing in that school, I- I- I won’t. I promise. I promise. Please—“

The creature paid no attention to his pleas. It reached a clawed hand out for him—

Really long.

—And then, just like clockwork, it suddenly froze up. Once Watchog noticed, he took the opportunity to get a good distance back from the creature.

The creature’s head twisted all the way around; the rest of its body stayed still. Then its body turned around to match. And then it took off, down the hall and away from Watchog. Watchog shakily got to his feet. Was that it? Had he scared it off?

But it didn’t look like it was running off. It was running towards something.

Watchog was glad it wasn’t him.

On one level I suppose it's nice we're not seeing Watchog die horribly on-screen. But... yeah, that Void Shadow suddenly heading off can't possibly be a good portent.

It stormed the next day. Sheets of rain fell over the village square, and the only ‘mon out and about at the time were the Water types. Espurr watched it from the window (which had the rain curtains drawn over it), scowling. A little rain wasn’t going to stop her.

She’d previously had the expedition gadget set up against the wall, idly scrolling through the missions they wouldn’t be taking today because of all the rain. To her dismay, she saw that the salamance mission was still up—had that letter even gotten through?

Honey, it's a Salamence. Literally the only reason why that mission was even viable in Super was because he was heavily gimped and the game gave you a bunch of Wands to embarrass him with.

Espurr grabbed the exploration bag and quietly slipped out the door. The rain hung off her fur and soaked her down to the bone, but she pressed on anyway, heading for the west side of town. There were more important matters to attend to than keeping dry.

She found Pancham and Shelmet having a mud fight in a ditch near the west side of town. It was a ways off the beaten path, so Espurr course-corrected to meet up with them.

“I see you’re having fun,” she called out through the rain as she approached them. Both Pancham and Shelmet paused their game, looking at Espurr. Pancham quickly brushed the mud on his hands off near a wall.

“Heh… pretend like you didn’t see that.” He brushed off his hands once more, and then turned to face Espurr, whose fur was soaked and limp. Pancham looked almost too amused by it. “Whatcha doing out in the rain?” he asked. “You look like crap, I’m just gonna tell ya.”

Espurr: "Says the guy who's literally dripping in mud right now." >.<
Pancham: "Oh sod off, I still look better than you!" >_>;

“What are you two doing out in the rain?” Espurr asked flatly, staring at Pancham’s muddy paws for effect.

Pancham’s face lost its amused look. “I said ignore that,” he said.

“Having a mud fight,” Shelmet answered for him, ignoring Pancham’s look of horror directed straight at him.

Shelmet: "Oh come on Pancham, why on earth are you having a sense of shame now?" -_-;
Pancham: "(Look, I don't want Deerling to find out that I look like this right now, okay?!)" >///<

“I’m looking for a missing pokemon,” Espurr said matter-of-factly. “Interested?”

Pancham thought for a minute. “…Which pokemon is it?” he finally asked.

“Vice-Principal Watchog.”

“Wait, what??” Pancham and Shelmet both exclaimed at the same time.

“You heard me,” Espurr replied. “He hasn’t been seen by anymon since Saturday. I’m launching a search mission.”

Pancham: "And we care why when it's Watchog?"

Espurr: "Look, as wonderful a personality as Watchog is, something is really wrong right now, okay? We should try and figure out what exactly is wrong." >_>;

Pancham and Shelmet slowly traded looks.

“…I mean, let’s think about this,” said Pancham innocently. “Do we wanna save Vice-Principal Watchog? School would be much easier if he wasn’t on our tails all the time.”

“But then you won’t have dungeon class,” said Espurr.

“Good point. We’re in.”

... I see the canon prose wasn't far removed, though Espurr had a more compelling response than I did.

It wasn’t raining as hard as it had been this morning, but it was still raining nonetheless. Luckily, the shingles were doing their job, and the interior of the treehouse was dry. Espurr, Tricky, Deerling, Shelmet, and all the others sat around in a circle inside the building.

“What do you mean he’s missing?” Deerling asked. “How does a pokemon just go missing like that?”

“No-mon’s seen him since Saturday, apparently,” Pancham said, arms folded.

“It’s true,” Tricky added, nodding for effect. “Me and Espurr searched everywhere.”

“Evidence suggests Watchog was kidnapped,” Espurr said, unfurling a paw-drawn map of the village, with scribbles that only really covered the paths and school. “And that whatever took him might appear at the school again.”

Deerling:

Espurr: "Okay, seriously, is everyone going to be doing this?" >_>;
Tricky: "Look, as hard as it is for me to believe I'm saying this, but we want to find Watchog, alright?"

“And… where is this going?” Deerling asked.

“We set a trap,” Espurr responded. “If we all work together, I think we can catch it off-guard.”

“Or get kidnapped ourselves!” Deerling exclaimed. “we should tell an adult.”

Espurr shook her head. “The adults won’t believe us.”

“How do you know that?” Deerling asked angrily.

“Ghosts,” Espurr said. “Watchog was kidnapped by ghosts.”

[ ]

“Cool…” Pancham and Shelmet both whispered at the same time. “…Wow,” Deerling said in mock amazement. “You’re right. I don’t think any of the adults will believe that. In fact, I’m having trouble believing it. You know why? Because ghosts aren’t real, Espurr! This is crazy!”

“Watchog was seeing them up at the school,” Espurr said. “I overheard him talking about it in the Café Connection last Saturday.”

This block probably needs at least one description paragraph to break it up. I also didn't realize it, but looking back, you probably want to do the same in the Village Square scene since... yeah, there's a similarly long block of almost pure dialogue there too at the beginning.

Deerling still looked skeptical. She stared at Espurr promptingly. “And all of this just proves that he was kidnapped by ghosts?”

“I’ve been seeing them too,” Espurr admitted. “In my bedroom at night. Have you got a better suggestion as to what happened to him?”

Silently, Deerling puffed out her mouth and admitted defeat. “I’m going to the school after dark,” Espurr said.

“I’m going to find out what happened to him. Anymon who wants to join me is free to. After all, ghosts aren’t real… right?”

And then she pointedly rolled up the map.

Well that's a terrible idea if I ever heard one. Not that Espurr knows that or why it's a terrible idea.

It was nighttime, and many of the clouds in the sky had cleared up. It had certainly stopped raining. Tricky popped her head out of the bedcovers, yawning. She looked out the window.

‘Meet me in the village square after the lights go out,’ Espurr had said. And the village looked pretty dark to Tricky. Slowly, quietly, she slipped out of her bed, put on her scarf, moved the empty scarf case over to the window, and used it as a platform to squirm out through the windowpanes.

... That's a really well-built case there.

Tricky landed on the grass outside her bedroom, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. She could still smell the rain's scents from the storm earlier. Tricky looked east, then hopped over the bush by the front porch as she scurried off that way.

“Evening.”

Espurr turned around and adjusted the exploration bag as Tricky came trotting into the village square. Tricky looked around. She saw Espurr, Goomy, Pancham, Shelmet…

“Are we going to get this over with or not?” Deerling asked.

Tricky: "Wait a minute, Deerling's here too?" .-.

Tricky tilted her head. “Why’d you come along?” she asked, half in excitement and half in confusion.

“Because Goomy wanted to go,” said Deerling. “Can we get this over with? I don’t want my mom to catch wind of this.”

“Because…” Shelmet prompted.

“She’ll encourage it.”

Everymon was silent for a moment as they tried to digest that.

>when your mom unknowingly encourages you to go off into the face of horrific danger because 'oh come on dear, it'll be fun~'

Deerling: "Yeah, yeah, I know. 'I need new parents'." >_>;
Tricky: "More like I need your parents. I wish Pops encouraged me to go off exploring..."

“Deerling’s right,” Espurr finally broke the silence. “It’s best not to waste time.” She started walking up towards the school, and everymon else followed.

The school sat up on the hill, its buildings imposingly dark as ever. The clouds of the storm brewed ominously above it, almost like they were gathering there. They walked up the hill and through the gates, entering the empty space where the classroom had once been.

“So now what?” Pancham asked, folding his arms. “What’s your big plan?”

“We scour the place,” Espurr answered. “Until we find out what took Watchog and where it went. We’ll go in groups of two, so no-mon’s left alone. If anymon sees anything, yell. Loudly. We’ll come help.”

I'd make a crack about how nobody's seen a horror movie before, but... these are kids. They probably haven't experienced any horror media before. :V

“We aren’t just going to sit at the desks and wait for it to come for us?” Shelmet asked.

“Of course not,” Espurr said. “That would be stupid.”

I forget, did they actually do this in PSMD? Since if so... yeah, I can see why you changed the scenario.

She reached into the exploration bag and grabbed three dry non-wand sticks she had collected on the way. She held them out for Tricky to set aflame. “For light.”

They broke off into three groups, each group with a torch. Deerling and Goomy went to the School Clinic, Shelmet and Pancham went to check out the Library, and Espurr and Tricky went to investigate the Principal’s Office. Espurr waved the torch around to make sure that no-mon was waiting in there for them before stepping in.

Tricky: "... Espurr, if this monster was strong enough to overpower Watchog, are we really going to be able to handle in parties of two? As schoolkids?" .-.
- Beat moment -
Espurr: "Uh... yeah, I guess we should've stocked up on some seeds and wands or something first." ._.;

“Do you think Watchog ever comes in here?” Tricky followed Espurr in, looking around the place (She never got to be in here).

“I don’t know what Watchog does,” Espurr said, waving the torch around for light.

“Then why are we here?” Tricky asked. “Shouldn’t we go to the library?”

“We’re just snooping around until the ghost shows up again,” Espurr said. “Whatever kidnapped Watchog must have kidnapped him because they crossed paths. That means it’s probably going to come back. Until then, we’re just looking around.”

Again:

She approached the principal’s desk, waking around the side where the bin of maps lay. There was a large collection of papers on the desk. Espurr momentarily handed Tricky the torch so she could sort through them. There were a collection of wanted posters on the desk – which included, for some reason, the salamence they had fought in Lush Forest. Espurr rooted through them. She poured through papers of wanted Water Continent outlaws, until she reached the bottom. There was a poster that caught her eye.

MISSING POKEMON: Beheeyem x3

Last seen 6/5/11133 on their way through the Lively Mountain Basin. If found, please contact the Guild of Merchants in Treasure Town by Pelipper Post.

“We don’t need another disappearance on our paws…”

I take it that means that the Beheeyem in this story have just been straight-up body snatchered instead of being normal Beheeyem like in Super.

Espurr stared at the paper for a minute. No. That wasn’t the missing pokemon. There had to be a mistake. And why did Simipour have this… ?

“What is it?” Tricky asked through the torch in her mouth.

“Just a minute and I’ll tell you,” Espurr said. She held out her paw. “May I have that torch?”

Tricky let Espurr remove the torch from her mouth. She opened the cabinets under the desk. More papers, hundreds, all in a neat stack. Had Principal Simipour been collecting these?

Oh that's not ominous at all. .-.

Espurr took one of the posters in her left paw and stuffed it in her bag.

“Help!!”

The cry came from outside the building. Both Espurr and Tricky’s heads snapped in that direction. It was Deerling!

Espurr and Tricky ran out of the School Clinic to see Goomy quickly sliming out of the library, followed by Deerling. Deerling was panting hard as she galloped up to them.

“We found it,” she breathed out, and then she spun around.

It appeared right in front of them in its full glory—blacker than a void. Large and hunkering. Clawed. Spined. It slowly lifted a single claw, pointing straight at Espurr.

Wow, no brakes, huh?

Espurr: "Couldn't you have given us warning about this first?!"

Deerling: "I'm sorry, my priorities were elsewhere like not dying horribly!" >.<

You.

“What is that?!?!” Tricky screamed in terror.

“Hey!”

A pebble whizzed through the air and hit the back of the monster’s head. It turned around, looking for whoever had just done that. Pancham marched forwards, slingshot in hand.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he said, reloading his slingshot. “Get a piece of me.”

That... seems more than a little ill-advised there.

He let the pebble fly. The monster wasn’t even fazed. It galloped over to where Pancham was, snatching him by the throat and pulling him up—

“NO!” shouted Deerling. She charged and gave it a large headbutt. The Monster grabbed her in its other set of claws.

“Let them go!” Tricky yelled. She charged for the monster, but a kick with the power of a bouffalant sent her flying to the side.

Well, this whole "let's just wait for the monster to show up" idea is just going great right now. ^^;

Espurr clutched her head, which suddenly throbbed with all the force of a headache. She just needed to think.

There is no escape.

There was no time to think. The monster lifted both Pancham and Deerling up in its claws, and Espurr’s headache became splitting.

Kill.

The monster’s head snapped straight towards her. Pancham and Deerling were dropped to the ground, and the monster suddenly phased over towards Espurr—

Tricky: "ESPURR, NO!" O.O

—Espurr fought off the headache just in time. She got to her feet and produced a psychic blast that momentarily blew the creature back. But it kept advancing anyway. There was nothing to do but run. And so Espurr ran. She made it all the way into the principal’s office before the monster caught up with her. It grabbed her foot and tripped her on the ground. Espurr tried to reach for something—anything—eventually grabbing the doorframe as the monster tried to pull her away. Tricky let loose with a flamethrower from behind, which caught the monster’s attention for a minute and allowed Espurr to escape.

The monster looked between them for a minute, torn. Then it chose Espurr. Espurr backed up all the way behind the principal’s desk; the monster advanced. She cast a look at the window to her right, then scrambled for that. Espurr slipped through the panes just as the monster grabbed for her—

—She tumbled back onto the grassy ground outside the hut, rolling to a stop and getting back on her feet. The monster dissolved through the wall of the hut, looking around for Espurr, but Espurr was long gone by that point.

“Run!”

Espurr fled down to the classroom, and everymon else gladly followed her. The monster galloped to the top of the hill, then to the bottom, and then all of the sudden it was blocking their entry out of the school. Everymon stopped, gaping at it in silent horror. The monster began to walk towards them, not even concerned with phasing anymore.

Deerling: "We could've set up surveillance with Connection Orbs, but no we just had to come here!" >_>;
Tricky: "You didn't even think that the monster was real, okay?!" >.<

“Run the other way!” Deerling yelled.

Everymon turned to run the other way, but the monster was faster. It leapt behind them before they could even start.

But then the monster was suddenly knocked to the side by something invisible. It snarled, its attention off the children and on whatever had just attacked it. Espurr’s heart leapt as she saw what had hit the monster—it was a shadow. The ghost from her bedroom!

I didn't see that one coming.

It leapt up into the air, and then collided into the monster with all its might. It wasn’t a match for the spined figure, but it was keeping it distracted.

Espurr did some last-minute quick thinking – she opened her bag and pulled out the pouch of blast seeds. Right before the monster could strike back against the figure, Espurr pulled one out, and threw it. It blew a hole right through the monster, and then blew it apart. Black goop exploded all over the grass and the path, wisps of smoke curled up in the air from where they lay, and it was motionless for a moment.

Small typo there.

“This is our chance!” Tricky yelled. “Everymon run through!!”

The gap was only open for half a minute, but by that time the monster’s trap had already long failed. Espurr cast one short look back at the school as she ran, and then fled down the hill with the rest of the group and away from the monster.

She could see the shadow staring at them from a distance, almost as if it saw them.

Narrator: "It totally saw them."

“This isn’t over.”

Espurr caught her breath against the wall of Audino’s house. All the other children were also panting in the square, terrified out of their wits.

“What do you mean it’s not over?” Pancham asked. “I ain’t going back to school after this.”

“What if it comes back?” Espurr asked. “We have to do something about it now—“

“No,” said Deerling. “This is over. I’m not playing along with this anymore. We have to tell the adults.”

“Tell them what?” Espurr asked.

“Tell them something!” Deerling yelled back. “What makes you think a bunch of grade schoolers stand a chance risking their lives against a big spiny monster?!”

“And when have the adults ever stood up and done something right?” asked Espurr. “Were they right to call Tricky a troublemaker and write her off when she needed help? Were they right when they just let all his bullying—”

She pointed to Pancham, who looked offended. He couldn’t refute it.

“—Slide because of his parents? What about your parents?” she addressed that last line at Deerling. “Do they even listen to you? If they weren’t right then, what makes you think they’ll be right now? Going to the adults will end up with Watchog and maybe several others dead.”

The rest of them were silent. From the look on Deerling’s face she wasn’t convinced, but even she couldn’t figure out a comeback.

Actually when was that explicitly established in-story about Pancham's parents again? I know you've brought it up meta-wise, but I swear I don't remember this being explicitly spelled out.

Though... yeah, the adults in Super weren't exactly super competent thinking back on it. ^^;

“I know where it went and I’m going now,” said Espurr. She picked up her exploration bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “Anymon who’s coming, come now. Otherwise I’m going alone.”

Words do not begin to describe how terrible this idea sounds right now.

Tricky stared down at the ground for a minute.

“Well…” she said, barely struggling to contain her fear. “You need help, Espurr. I’m coming.”

“I-I’ll go too.”

Everymon turned to Goomy in shock.

“What are you talking about?” Deerling asked flatly. “You’re going home. You need sleep.”

“I-I’m not g-gonna sleep knowing t-that’s out there,” Goomy said, his voice trembling just as much as he was. “I-I have to k-know i-it’s gone.”

Deerling: "Look, can't you just stay up staring at the ceiling in safety, Goomy? How on earth could you possibly think joining this isn't going to end horribly?!" >_>;

“You’re marching back to your house and you are going to bed. Now.” Deerling’s eyes were pure fire, but Goomy didn’t submit to them.

“N-no,” he said. “Y-you’re not the boss of me!”

Deerling scoffed in shock.

“No. No no no no no,” she said. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna- I’m-“

Deerling stuttered, realizing that she didn’t have anything to threaten Goomy with. Instead she looked straight at Espurr.

“You’re not taking him with you.”

This is at once really touching from Goomy and really

since... yeah, exactly nothing in the story before this has indicated that he's remotely prepared to deal with a being like the one they ran into.

Tricky: "... I mean, we're all kinda scared and in over our heads here, so what's another more?" ^^;
Deerling: "Holy Mystery Dungeon, that's not how any of this works, you guys!" >_>;

“I’ll go where I want!!” Goomy yelled loudly. All of the children cringed at how loud it was, then looked at the windows of the houses to make sure no-mon had been awoken. Goomy glared daggers at Deerling.

For a moment, Deerling glared back. Her legs trembled. Then she finally gave up.

“…Fine…” she grumbled. “You’re right. I can’t stop you from going. But you can’t go alone. I’m not letting that happen.” Reluctantly, Deerling stepped up to join Espurr’s group. Espurr looked at Pancham and Shelmet.

“…Yeah, we’re in,” said Pancham. “Lemme just get some more stones.”

I can at once understand how these kids are getting to this destination thought-wise, but the adult in me is screaming "there is exactly zero way that this is going to turn out well for you, at least try talking to Audino first". But... yeah, such is life with a lot of youth adventure fiction since I'm pretty sure much of the decision-making in stuff like Stranger Things also falls into the "good night, get an adult already" camp that falls apart since... yeah, the adults tend to either suck or be part of the problem.

But anyhow, final thoughts:

I liked this chapter. A lot. And it honestly makes me kinda regret not taking a bigger review trade since... yeah, things have been getting really lit in the last few chapters and there's a very strong vibe of "how much longer can this go before the shoe drops?" I was honestly expecting things to go a lot more pear-shaped than they did in this chapter, but I suppose that's a story for another chapter and another day.

As for the things that I didn't like so much... I'm sure there were some mechanical issues, but I honestly overlooked quite a few since I was kinda gripped by how suspenseful things were getting. The main complaints I'd have would be the fact that there's 22 scenes, but you've heard that enough that I think that that's just a stylistic thing since I don't think any of them seemed like scenes that could easily be collapsed into each other. The other, bigger quibble I have would be that it kinda felt like we were waiting a long while to pick up on this plot thread from 2 chapters ago. Like we saw Espurr encounter what I assume is Dark Matter, and then we cut to a long chapter about the Exploration Society... with no real follow-up in between. Part of me wonders if it might have made sense to try and interleave the two plot threads a little more, but maybe it was just unavoidable.

All-in-all, great work @SparklingEspeon . I'd certainly be down for doing another review trade once you're done tidying things up in the second half of your story, but from what I've seen so far... I get the feeling that I'll likely break down and wind up reading a chunk of things after this point on my own anyways. Since... yeah, I want to see more after the way things ended there. ^^

 

[Panoramic_Vacuum]

Hello hello! I'm back for more, well, err, DPTPDoES?? Haha not sure how you prefer to abbreviate your fic title, but I'm back nevertheless! I'm yet again so impressed with your ability to keep the story moving despite covering so much ground. The prose is easy to read and flows so well, I find myself breezing through the chapter without missing a beat. Perhaps the only thing that tripped me up this time was the opening with so many characters appearing all at once and speaking over the communication device, it was a bit hard to keep track of all the new faces. I did rather enjoy Ampharos though, and their brief battle against the Beheeyem. I don't know if evolved pokemon in PMD powerscale over the unevolved ones, but I liked that they could stand their ground and fight back. Very intriguing, too, that we get to see the not-Shadow Ball's after effects. ...That's not a pokemon move I'm familiar with. Chilling.

There seems to be another party descending on peaceful Serenity Village...

(Oh also before I forget, I liked the press-release style opening to the chapter. I don't have any real context to this little snip, but I enjoy the quick worldbuilding it does and the way it intrigues me to keep reading and finding out about the world and its denizens.)

Then we jump back to our original heroes, and I immediately am reminded of how awesome Tricky is.

"Isn't this so cool?" Tricky whispered to her the moment she sat down. "Not only do we get to attend the same school and detentions, but we get to sit right next to each other, too!"

Seriously, I love everything about her. I won't pick out every line but I legit laugh at just about everything she does. Fantastic.

Speaking of fantastic, I love your attention to little details like:

stopped horseaing around

And the way you use humor in your writing with quick little quips and turns of phrase that never fail to make me smile.

"Now… is the class ready?" Farfetch'd asked. The class was not by any means ready, but Farfetch'd began anyway.

Just the timing of this, and many other instances, hits the right note for me. Really enjoying the lighthearted parts of this fic that bring so much charm to the story.

And, more charming:

Deerling looked up, still mildly agitated from the constant itching of her coat.

"Yes, Mr. Farfetch'd?" she asked, trying her best not to sound irritated.

"Would you like to be excused?" Farfetch'd asked. "I'm sure Nurse Audino can do something for your molting."

Oh. Oh my god. That's so clever. School's almost out, so spring is turning into summer, and Deerling is shedding her pink spring coat for her summer one, that is SO CLEVER and you introduce it without spelling it out and, boy, that was such a rewarding thing to pick up on the way you wrote it. Great stuff.

Of course we can't have a chapter without a good dose of mystery and intrigue (at least on my uneducated-PMD part, good thing there's class for people like me!):

Without warning, he suddenly leapt on the desk and slammed his leek into the chalkboard, jolting the rest of the bored-to-death class to attention. Watchog, who had fallen asleep in the corner, jolted awake with a high-pitched scream.

"Bam! Wiped out! Just like that." Farfetched paused for a moment, stepping off the teacher's desk he had jumped on. "By what? We don't know, only that the pokemon were left to pick up the pieces, and no-mon's even seen what a true Human looks like since."

So humans are just, gone? Wild. I know the premise of PMD in that it's a human-turned-pokemon thrust into this all-pokemon world, but I guess I just assumed it was some other reality that never had humans in the first place? But turns out there were humans, just, a long long time ago. Crazy stuff. Reinforced here by the fact that there's an entirely different written-language system:

Espurr showed him the sheet of paper.

"I can't read this. Are there any in English?"

Though it's a bit odd that Espurr can speak whatever language they're using, but not understand the written one. (Also a bit more odd that she specifically mentions English, which they're speaking for the sake of the story. Is it assumed there's a whole other language the PMD-verse uses?) But this is definitely the very obvious hints as to Espurr's backstory that only the reader is privy to. I enjoy when we end up knowing something the characters don't. Makes for some fun misunderstandings and revelations later.

Perhaps the only part that gave me pause was this passage:

A gust of sudden wind ruffled Espurr's fur. She looked eastward to the forest from which it had come. A large sheet of paper flipped and fluttered through the air, slowly soaring lower and lower as it continued to surf the wind. By the time it reached Espurr, it was flying low enough for her to leap up and grab, and she plucked it out of the air with her one good arm.

"Ooh—what's that?"

Espurr jumped, startled by the sudden exclamation from behind her. Tricky ran up, Goomy doing his best to keep up with her.

"Oh." Espurr tried to keep the paper out of the dry dirt the best she could with only one hand at her disposal. "I don't know. It blew in on the wind."

"Hey! Troublemakers!" Watchog yelled a distance away, apparently recovered from his near-fainting spell. "The forests are off-limits! You'd better stay clear!"

"OKAY, MR. WATCHOG!" Tricky yelled, immediately standing in front of Espurr to cover up the map. "WE'RE COMING BACK NOW!"

The bolded word here definitely says the paper Espurr caught is a map, but no one has really looked at it yet, or given the reader any kind of description that could make us guess "map" before the narration simply tells us it is one. Maybe just an oversight? I did have a hunch it was our Ampharos friend's missing map when it came floating in from the forest, but even just a brief glimpse as to what a map made by Jirachi looks like would have been a cool visual description to have here.

Overall I like the follow up to the introduction to the story. There's more pieces in play, but you do a great job of linking things together (with the map and the Beheeyem encounter) so even though they're different characters coming from different places, us as the reader are able to keep track of things a lot easier. What a treat that there's so much more of this fic to read. I look forward to coming back for another installment soon.

 

[Inkedust]

Heya Espy! As someone who is more than familiar with PSMD's plot, I was always interested in checking this fic out and seeing what changes you made to it but never really had the time to get around to it, so what better time to do it than the final day of the blitz? This review is going to be more akin to a live-reaction/stream of consciousness thing than an actual review, so forgive me if I get a bit rambly.

With that out of the way, let's dive right in.​

PROLOGUE​

For starters, I really enjoy the premise. A PSMD adaptation focusing on and giving one of the more interesting side-characters justice is something that I'm always here for (especially when the source material doesn't share the same sentiment >:[). It's not a direct 1:1 parallel, Espurr is established to be human here after all, but I find that a lot more interesting as it opens a lot more doors to tell an interesting story over a wholesale adaptation. On that note, the protagonist not remembering her own name and being forced to stick with the name of her current species is a neat little twist. It's small and doesn't seem to add all that much but it's enough to tell me that this plot won't be your standard PMD affair.

Moving past the premise, I found the tone of the narration delightful. It's this lovely blend of dry sarcasm and bewilderment that I think suits Espurr's character well. Being that Espurr is *not* the PSMD hero, I do find it fitting that the beeheeyem decide that it's on sight going straight for the petrification. There are also some fun things do show off Dark Matter's influence here that a reader not familliar with PSMD's plot can pick up on, like their shadowy attacks or their puppet-like movements. It's a neat little bit of foreshadowing.
​

Curled up in a tree branch just large enough to not risk falling from in her sleep, Espurr dreamt horrible dreams of a black void of nothingness. An In Between of nothing but horribly impossible black, and she dreamt of nothing. Because there was nothing to dream of. Nothing to remember, and nothing to fill her dreams. In her addled state, with her mind blank and black as her in between, she somehow understood that. And briefly, in the absence of her dreams, came something else.​

This paragraph jumped out at me, intially because I noticed that the word "nothing" was used *six times* in the space of five paragraphs but then I noticed...
​

I see you.​

Don't think I didn't catch that. It appears that our mutual note stealing goes beyond basic story ideas and straight into hiding messages in the prose :nyehehe:. It's a ton of fun but also difficult to do without making the general prose feel a bit stilted/awkward. Again, I think it's a fun bit of foreshadowing, and I am interested to see how this underlying darkness festers. This definitely makes its presence feel bigger.

Onto Audino's PoV! I do like the small worldbuilding tidbit we see with the strength of mystery dungeons and their apparitions. There's also a fun bit of characterisation with Audino getting ready to dip only to stop as soon as she hear's Espurr's yowl of pain (and can I just say, ouch) as well as her subsequent reaction when she meets Espurr proper. Is neat. I like it a lot.

Overall, while I feel that this does have a good hook as well as doing its job opening us up to the fic, this feels less like a *prologue* and more like a fully fledged first chapter. It makes me wonder why this wasn't chapter 1 as the events continue from here to chapter 1 like any other chapter. I did also notice a lot of small issues with the general prose, like general redundancy, but seeing that this was written a fair amount of time ago, I don't see the need to harp on them as I'm willing to believe that you've grown as a writer in those 38 subsequent chapters.​

CHAPTER ONE​

Now if there's one thing to know about me when it comes to PSMD, it's that I despise the partner pokemon so I'm very interested in seeing how you handle Tricky. Right off the bat, I love her introduction. A new pokemon shows up in town injured? Jump out of a tree so you can meet them and become ~best friends~! 10/10, would recommend. But in all seriousness, this and the ensuing interaction is a wonderful bit of characterisation. Right off the bat I know that Tricky is full of energy, impatient, and lonely. Espurr also makes for a great foil, which is something I felt the PSMD partner desperately needed instead of the hunk of plywood we actually got.

Espurr's impromptu tour of the town is a charming little scene as was the subsequent introduction of Shelmet and Deerling. It's a nice remix of familiar events from the game. I also thought that Espurr's encounter with the Beeheeyem was good justification for her putting up with Tricky's antics. Gives her this more noble vibe.

Aww, poor Goomy. You really feel bad for the little guy. Do like the mention of this Dungeon Wraith, nice superstition rooted in a game mechanic.

I will say, I did find the punishment for the kids a bit unjustified. Perhaps this is just me underestimating how downright dangerous dungeons are here, but I can't help but feel bad for poor Espurr who was essentially strong-armed into the whole thing. Felt that she should've at the very least tried to explain herself there.
​

“The pokemon who chased you last night are known as Beheeyem, and they’ve been sighted several times in the past few days searching for you. Highly dangerous, do not approach.” Simipour’s voice lost its airy quality for a more sincere tone. “That is why, for the time being, I strongly implore you to stay within the bounds of this village. I say this out of concern for your own safety, not to put a shackle on your freedom. We don’t need another disappearance on our paws.”​

Wait, days? Didn't Espurr arrive just last night and how does Simipour know that they're looking for Espurr specifically? But there's a nice little mystery of who disappeared. Curious to see how that one turns out.​

CHAPTER TWO​

First off, nice little nod to one of the heroes from the previous games. Always love to see it.

Love me some Ampharos and I enjoy seeing some of the inner workings of the Expedition Society alongside the dynamics with some of their members. And now we see Amphy's first encounter with the beeheeyem. It's a good scene showing off both the power of Ampharos (there's gotta be a reason for him being head of the Expedition Society despite his eccentricities, right?) alongside showing off the petrification effect of beeyeehem's big ol' fuck-off attack.
​

"Good morning," Espurr began, reciting the well-rehearsed speech she had mentally practice for the occasion this morning. "My name is Espurr. I wish to become a student here at the Serenity Village School, and I hope that we can all become good friends and classmates in the near future."​

Ha! I love Espurr's little stilted speech there!

Gotta be honest, the whole "reviewing the curriculum" thing does feel like a rather forced way to dump exposition onto Espurr, and by extension, the audience--even moreso when it's the very first thing that's brought up. It's some neat lore (anything that involves humans existing in the distant past of the PMD world before dying out is a fast-track to activating my caveman brain) and I do like Espurr's reaction alongside the implications that come with it but I do feel as if this could've been handled a bit more gracefully.

I think the detention scene is pretty interesting. For one, I think it's cool that it's a deviation from what normally comes to mind when you think of detention. Instead of writing lines, you do manual labour. Neat! I also think that this is a much better way of conveying exposition. Instead of the characters sitting the protagonist down to say "hey, here's an important lore bit", we get Espurr being "yo my name's Jared 19, and I never learned how to read" before bringing up the English language. We learn quite a bit from this, such as the others not knowing what English even is to it being very clearly established that Espurr is human or was at the very least from that time.

Hmm. I'm a bit conflicted on the final line of the chapter. On the one hand, foreshadowing the planet is drawing closer to the sun, which is yes, good I like that; but on the other, it feels like a bit of a non-sequitur? It didn't seem like the excessive heat was brought up all that much in the current scene which makes it feel weirdly out of place. It would've been a lot more effective if the heat was brought up just a little more.​

CHAPTER THREE​

One thing that gets a big ol' thumbs up from me is inter-cutting PoVs from Serenity Village with those from the Expedition Society. It dramatically improves the pace of the original story (yes, I will still bang on about how PSMD has one of the worst-paced stories I have seen in my entire life) and gives us more than enough opportunities to get to know the Expedition Society before they inevitably converge with Espurr and Tricky's story. It also gives us a nice window showing us what they might've been up to before they met the hero and partner.

There are a couple fun details I noticed here, one being that Pokemon Square has upgraded to a proper plaza and that the teams there managed to establish a guild there. Good for them!

What's not-so-good for them is that the place seems to have been overrun with Voidshadows. Oh well. That's unfortunate.

I also liked the mention of HAPPI from Gates, and I'm very intrigued to see their involvement in this story.

The exchange with Ampharos is great and it's fun to see Tricky bounce off other characters. You pulled off her mischievous high-energy tendencies well and she doesn't feel overbearing in the slightest. I also like the detail of Ampharos deliberately dropping the orb for Espurr and Tricky to pick up as opposed to the entirely accidental portrayal it had in game. It better shows off Ampharos' wit and makes his outsmarting of the villains later on in the game a lot more believable.

Interesting characterisation on Carracosta! Definitely an intimidating figure, huh?

I really like the take on the Harmony Scarves. For one, I really like that it has a clear effect of Tricky and I wonder why the scarves have said effect when you consider their in-game origin and Dark Matter. Really curious to see where that goes. Also the detail of Espurr forgetting the Connection Orb will probably have some massive effects on the course of the plot. Interested to see those developments!

Ohoho! These are some nice reactions to the ruined plaza! There's such a great sense of foreboding here and I really like the take on the Voidshadows (are they Voidshadows? It's the closest comparison I got, so let's just stick with that). Also Archen's reaction to seeing some unearthly demon did get a smile out of me (although I do think this gives be a bit of tone whiplash). He tried.

I also quite like the synergy on display here! Despite their back-and-forths, you get the sense that Archen and Mawile have worked together for quite a bit of time. Also it looks like those ashes are going to cause problems later. I know a Chekhov's Gun when I see one.​

CHAPTER FOUR​

Good depiction of some of the fallout from last chapter and I do like the general discussion of organisations like guilds and HAPPI. Looks like they're the head honchos in this world, huh? Also that's a neat explanation for why Ampharos suspects there is a human. Also I'm betting money on the idea that the other energy signature comes from the human that was supposed to be the hero. Must've met a couple complications.

Hmm. It seems that these dream sequences are fresh from the department of redundancy department. They're intriguing but they could really use some rewording to make them that much better. Also:​

i see you
come to me.

I will say, this is a unique way of introducing Nuzleaf into the mix. I wonder what he's doing here without the PSMD protagonist, considering his role in the story. I do like how Espurr's illiteracy comes into play here.

Interesting how the Pokemon world uses Unown for their alphabet. I guess it is pretty hard to read, but seeing that the letters are identical to English (unless they're not here?), I wonder why Espurr didn't at least find some of the lettering to be familiar.

Hmm. Much like I said back during Chapter 2, I don't feel that this is the best way to convey exposition about your worldbuilding. There are a couple cute moments here, but it generally feels like the pace grinds to a halt to make room for all this information. Again, it's interesting stuff, but I feel like it could've been conveyed in a more elegant manner.

Aww, Espurr discovering that she has psychic powers is adorable.

Fun little prank Pancham pulled there, though I don't think Espurr is going to appreciate what's down in those mines. Tricky, it's hard to say.

Oh, I also like the small background details we get on Gabite. Wonder what happened to him that caused him to become ferocious.

Nice sense of foreboding to end the chapter on. I wonder how many poor victims the mines have taken.​

CHAPTER FIVE​

Real nice description of the dungeon! I'm sure those luminescent gems would give off quite the otherworldly vibe! I certainly can picture it nice and clearly.

Wild animals, huh? So real world animals do exist alongside pokemon. That's interesting.

It's fun watching the pair coming up with new strategies on the fly. Also a nice way of showing off emeras shattering before any more information is shown about them. Folks not familiar with the source material get to be intrigued, while those who are get their little lightbulb moment. Espurr and Tricky are going to be mighty disappointed when they realise that they can't carry emeras out of a dungeon, though.
​

Only then did the baffling implications of Tricky’s statement fully hit her: Mystery dungeons had stairs?

~\({O})/~​

Mystery dungeons had stairs.

This got a laugh out of me.

Oh boy. I have the very sneaking suspicion that that gabite is the very same one from the book in the library. If that's the case, then it appears that the dungeons degrade the mental states of those within it, and based on the gabite's behaviour, makes a desire of theirs override their personality. That's several shades of horrifying. I love it.
​

“I think…” Espurr stared at the cavern behind, where the dull thuds of the monster could not be seen but just barely heard. “I think that’s the explorer who got lost down here. He matches the picture in the book. Remember?”

Oh, it was confirmed the very next line. Nice.
​

Tricky’s face went pale through her fur.​

Hmm. I noticed this a couple times while reading, but describing something as "going pale through fur" seems rather awkward to me. Especially since nobody but the reader would know this. It'd be a lot more effective for you to describe general body language, things like Tricky's fur standing on end or her flattening her ears.

Interesting stuff with Gabite's journal. I do like the fact that he didn't get very far in his recording before the dungeon overtook him, but I feel that it might've been more effective to write a couple more logs to further demonstrate his deteriorating mental state. Would've been a lot more effective than "these red gems are cool, yo".

It seems that Tricky has some old wounds. I wonder if it's potentially tied to the one disappearance in Serenity Village. Perhaps that disappearance was another stranger to the village, which is why Tricky had that awkward pause back in chapter 3 while walking back to her place.

Hmm. Curious. The drilbur seemed genuinely surprised that there were emeras in the dungeon, but Pancham and Shelmet seemed to be aware of this? It could be that Pancham saw the dust and put two-and-two together but the wording doesn't imply it at all, rather it felt like this was Pancham's plan all along.

I am liking this conflict that's starting to take shape here between Espurr and her friendship with Tricky. I like that Espurr is questioning why she's standing up for/putting up with Tricky's antics, compounded by Deerling telling Espurr to stop hanging out with Tricky. Tricky also seems to have this aura of negativity surrounding her, which also makes me wonder what happened.

Also nice stinger with Ampharos realising that there's something up with Espurr based on that brief conversation she and Tricky had when holding the connection orb.

​

LIGHTNING ROUND! CHAPTERS 6-10​

Righto. So this review is going to take a bit of a pivot here on the basis that it is running late and I just won't be able to finish this review on time if I maintain the pace from the previous chapters unless I pull an all-nighter (something that just isn't possible based on experience I have a fragile constitution ;v;b) so apologies if this is a bit jarring.
​

• Like the exchange in the first part of Chapter Six a lot. Nice seeing more of the politics at play/how pokemon feel about those who live on other continents.​
• Heh, poor Espurr trying to spar with Tricky but failing each time had me chuckling. Especially when she got reprimanded for cheating when she grabbed a stick.​
• Found another dream message in Chapter Seven:​

Let me in your head.

• Hmm, tad bit convenient that Watchog made a mess, allowing Espurr to cheat on the exam. Neat reference with the Time Crisis though.​

And just like that, with the mention of a new location to explore, the dark spot in Tricky's day became a little brighter.

• Oh, this won't end well.​
• Aww, Chapter Seven is doing a real good job of making me I feel bad for Tricky.​

“The dungeon’s going bad, Principal,” Audino said. “The Drilbur Mines… Wooloo Plains… Poliwrath River… All the dungeons here go bad faster than they should. We should move the test.”

• You know you're in a crisis when you get mystery dungeons growing stronger at exponential rates.​

“And I killed him.”

• Well that's quite the bombshell. I'd expected something bad to have happened to Tricky's former friend, though not to this degree. Pretty sure it was accidental and Tricky is just blaming herself. >At least I now know what happened to Budew in this adaptation :madness:​
• Don't think having the flashbacks be in italics is necessary, especially when the scene change is labelled with a "Then".​
• Again, Espurr should really speak up for herself more. She keeps getting chewed out for minor slights. Granted, she did go into the dungeon willingly that time, but it came from a place of concern as opposed to reckless abandon. Damn boomers *shakes fist*.​
• More references to previous games. Nice, nice.​
• I'm curious to see how pear-shaped this dungeon exam will go seeing how Audino commented on how dangerous the dungeon is becoming last chapter.

This was it. This was the forest. The one she had woken up in just a week ago. The one where she had been hunted down by the beheeyem. The one where she had broken her arm. It had been the school’s very own mystery dungeon!

• What a twist!
• Aww. Watching Tricky in denial while she's alone in the School Forest is heartbreaking (again). Also Deerling's subsequent outburst didn't help.

When the pain faded enough for Espurr to be able to open her eyes, she finally got a good look at what she had walked into: in front of her was what seemed to be a perfect stone sculpture of a riolu.

• Looks like Espurr stumbled right into the hero-that-could've-been.
• Cool to see everyone's reaction to the dungeon doing a screm.
• Mawile's quite the sharp one, isn't she? Wonder what she's hiding on that gadget.
• Quite the hustle for the Ambassador, huh?
• And so comes the point where Ampharos has to leave the village, which is where I will cap off this review.

FINAL THOUGHTS​

Despite being a bit rough around the edges, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with this. Perhaps I'm a tad bit biased as we seem to have very similar tastes in our PMD-storytelling but I find the world you've built here to be captivating and I'm very fond of the stuff you've built off the base of PSMD. Anyways, I'll finally, finally cut the rambling to say: Thanks for the read. You've just got yourself another reader.

Cheers!

 

[Z2H]

This review is for the entire story so far.

To start off, I want to say the premise is pretty interesting, and the title itself is great. I will admit I'm adverse to novelizations, or even ones with just slight alterations to the canon to create a 'new' story, but at a first glance and after a read of the entire thing, I can safely say this story is not a typical novelization with a slight change of canon at all - it's a different beast altogether, and one that was pleasantly enjoyable to read through. Now, the events that PSMD are fuzzy to me at best, but I do remember the school and the Expedition Society being fairly slow or even rushed in some cases. I assume your intentions going into this story were to amend these mistakes and produce a higher quality and more satisfying tale told through Espurr of all Pokemon, which I do think works, even if the some of the presentation feels unorganized or generally difficult to follow.

I will start things off with plot, which offers an advantage and disadvantage to the story. We first start things off with following Espurr, and eventually Tricky, with their exploits within the school and village, much like the game, but obviously with different elements or events changed outright to fit this new narrative being told. All things considered, I feel as if these changes are welcome ones, like with The Crooked House and the relationships between the school children. But I feel the only thing holding this 'school' part of the story together are the character interactions and the entire drama boiling between Tricky and Deerling. There are segments that include glimpses into the Expedition Society and other parts of the world, but the main emphasis on the school does drags things quite a bit. Now, there are aspects of the school itself that I liked, such as the worldbuilding segments that told more of the humans that vanished thousands of years ago. It also teaches the reader well the different mechanics one would expect to see more of in the story.

Pacing of longfics is a challenging thing, and even something I struggle with myself, so I don't consider this to be a deal breaker for many readers like myself, but something that I noted while reading.

Moving onto the next part of the story, here we see more of the inner workings of the true story unfolding bit by bit, with HAPPI and these Void Shadows from beyond creeping their way in to influence the other guilds, cities, and continents of the world. While we saw the destruction of one town in the first part, we are given even more sights of Pokemon being petrified, and even a trip into the Voidlands this early on. It's a nice change of pace from the school, and there are certain revelations that were cool to see occur. My sole problems with this part of this story more fall upon the amount of characters and plot threads that seem to be going on. There are many of them, and it's hard to exactly determine which are exactly relevant to understand, and what ones are simply there to fill in the gaps. I will discuss this issue more with characters, but I will move on to worldbuilding next.

The worldbuilding of this story is what I truly appreciate most, and I really like how fleshed out it all is. From the interconnected politics to the massive corporation that is HAPPI. The latter of which is what I found most interesting, as while HAPPI is mentioned in the games, these corporate or business entities are never explained, which always leads for authors to make interesting interpretations of. I really like how HAPPI is presented in this story, and how this ancient evil isn't the only thing that is trying to take over the world. While the constant scenes of paperwork and trading did tire me out, the idea and pure bureaucracy kept me entice to see what drastic move HAPPI would do next.

Now onto characters, and they are quite a lot. I found myself liking the majority of them, even some of the ones that weren't used as much... or killed of.

With Espurr, I am very mixed about her. She can be very dull, flat, and generally boring personality wise (that could be an intention of yours), or she can be very snooty and mean in some cases with the school children. It's hard to find an exact read on her, but I never truly disliked her like some characters; cough Pancham. As for Tricky, I really loved how energetic and playful she was, acting like an child would in this scenario. While her actions can verge on annoyance to others in the story (and her backstory being as tragic), she provides a sense of childlike wonder that PMD exudes, and it's nice to see that remain in this story.

For the other characters, I found myself not exactly caring much for them, with some exceptions like the school children, Zoroark, and Sparkleglimmer (and Nylo-what's his face that I thought was a Xenomorph for a solid minute in your art). It's clear that more time was spent on them, and that's why I never really cared for the others while reading. One example I will mention is Eevee and Fletchinder - a pair that seemed to exist solely to be petrified. There's always going to be filler characters in stories (especially in PMD stories with guilds, which I am guilty of), but these characters take up screen time from the other more important characters and it's very distracting trying to follow the main story, the already established character stories, and these new ones that offer little relevance to the grand scheme of things. I'm not sure about characters like Holly, Granite, Cinder, Nickit, or Murkrow just yet, but they also never really felt too important. (Rip Bunnelby, though)

To finish things off, I will talk about prose. I am not going to talk much about it, considering my own prose isn't really great, but there's some things to point out. First off, all of it is generally competent, easy to follow, and not too overbearing or skimpy with its descriptions. There are exceptions, however, and points of which that irk me. One example I will mention is the Scooby Doo-esque spiel Alice gives the impostor Simisage on how she found out he was a phony. It's very jarring to go from reasonably worded dialogue to a giant barrage of information in one large paragraph. This is something that I also went through with one of chapters, and it's a detail that us both could probably improve on. One other thing I will note is the usage of POVs. In some chapters, they are reasonable, and can show a character's perspective well. In other chapters, that is tons of POV switching, which disorientates the readers. An example of this being the Riolu focused chapter that switches constantly between his past, the present, and the different settings they're in.

To end off the review, I do want to say I enjoyed it. There's a lot of interesting pieces and characters that click together nicely in a well built world, with some flaws as all stories contain, of course. I can tell you really have a passion for this story, either through the amount of art you have created, or the general length of the story and its contents, so there's no denying that the story is lazy or generic or anything.

Keep up the good work!

 

[SparklingEspeon]

~\({O})/~

CHAPTER ELEVEN: NIGHT IN THE DESERT

~\({O})/~

Sands of Time Anchorstone

~Espurr and Tricky~​

Espurr barely had the time to register what was happening before it happened. She dove out of the way on instinct, landing into a panicking Tricky.

The Void Shadow slammed into some of the stalactites that spiraled up towards the ceiling, causing them to crack and lose some of their integrity. Espurr noticed that the ceiling above them shifted a little, almost as if those stalactites were holding it up…

But there wasn’t time to think about that. The Shadow was already up and at them again, making a hard and fast charge in their direction. Espurr and Tricky jumped up, and did the only thing they could do: run.

The two of them dove behind the white stairs as the Shadow lunged at them once again. They landed a bit too close to the pillar of white radiance—Espurr yelped as some of her fur was singed off just by contact with it. Tricky’s ear fluff had taken a similar hit, and the edges were burned… despite her being fire-resistant.

Then Espurr got an idea.

She quickly jumped up as the Void shadow was busy pulling itself out of the stalactite it had crashed into. From right behind her, Tricky looked like she just wanted to bound out of the way as soon as possible. She glanced at Espurr several times, somewhere between worry and confusion.

“What are you doing…” she whined. “It’s gonna get us!”

“Be ready to jump!” was all Espurr had the time to say before the Shadow broke free from the stalactite and lunged at them—

Espurr and Tricky’s wits were just quick enough to avoid becoming the Shadow’s meal—Tricky bounded out of the way lightning fast, and Espurr followed a split second later. Half the Void Shadow slammed into the large stair pillar. It let out a large screech as the light of the pillar burned through its body, evaporating the pitch-black goo that composed its body with loud crackles and sizzles. The Shadow screeched loudly, pulling its body from the pillar as it crashed into the sand. Something collapsed to the ground after it with a loud thud. Espurr didn’t see what.

The Shadow was missing its left arm, its leg, and some of its head. Where its limbs had once been, there were now gaping holes that leaked thick black ooze. It let out another pained screech, and then loped away on its remaining legs towards the exit of the cave. Espurr ran forward after it, against anymon’s better judgement. She wasn’t going to let it get away! It was inured, but she had to make sure they didn’t lose track of it. If it got away now, they’d never know when it could come back.

She exited the cavern just fast enough to see the Shadow’s escape. It lost physical form, melting down into ropes of black goo that tunneled into the sand and disappeared from view. Espurr wasn’t deterred. A psychic blast blew the sand in that area up into the air, leaving a sizeable indent in the ground. But it was too little, too late. She sprinted over, fell forward, and dug down into the sand, catching the last of the black worms squiggling into the ground. The essence split off into tiny, vein-sized rivulets and seemed to bleed between the individual grains. Espurr continued to dig frantically. But within seconds, her digging yielded nothing but ordinary sand.

Defeated, Espurr stood back up, looking down at the ground. The adrenaline was fading, leaving her feeling ragged and covered in sand that itched against her coat. The Shadow was gone.

Tricky was still sitting there when she entered the cavern again. She was staring wide-eyed at the sand, caught between fear and shock. Espurr sat down on the sand next to her, looking at her in concern. She could feel the grey-blue vibes of shock, tinged with a feeling that made her gut drop just by sensing it.

“Feeling alright?” she asked.

“What…” Tricky’s voice trembled. “What was that? Was that Bunnelby? Was he just a Void Shadow this whole time?”

“I don’t think so,” Espurr said. “He changed after the sandstorm, remember? No bag, no map… He must have been separated from us, and that thing just took his place.”

“But how do we know if he’s still alive?” Tricky asked, half sobbing. “What if it ate him before it copied him?”

“I don’t know,” Espurr answered plainly. And she didn’t. “But if it did, why didn’t it keep his bag?”

She didn’t know how strong that logic was. The Shadows weren’t smart enough to copy everything about a pokemon, just their general looks and demeanor. A bag might not have counted into that. But she wasn’t going to dissect it right now.

They looked at the pillar of shining stairs that sat before them, the ones that had effortlessly shredded half of a Void Shadow. As they approached it, they noticed the loud wavering noise that Espurr had heard earlier—now Tricky could hear it too. She lowered her ears as they approached. Finally, as they got close, they felt the heat. That was what was making the stairs shimmer, Espurr realized: intense heat. She put her paws up near the shimmering barrier, and the heat made her retract them almost immediately. But that heat wasn’t leaking into other parts of the cavern… she stepped back, and it got colder almost immediately.

Then she stepped on something.

Espurr looked down, realizing she was stepping on a bone. She took her foot off almost immediately, quickly getting Tricky’s attention so they could both study what Espurr had found.

It was more than just a single bone. Rather, it was half a skeleton. An arm, a limb, a few ribs, and what looked like a fragment of a skull. Espurr had stepped on an unusually long leg bone, which was connected to another and then the many scattered bones of what she assumed was a foot. She and Tricky stared down at it, unsure what to make of the discovery. This skeleton hadn’t been here before. But then.. the only thing that had been in here with them was…

For what felt like the first time since they had arrived on Sand, Espurr really missed their exploration bag.

“Did the Void Shadow eat that?” Tricky asked.

“I think…” Espurr paused, trying to parse what she was going to say next. “I think it’s the Void Shadow’s skeleton.”

Tricky pawed the sand.

“We should take it back with us.”

“But why was the Shadow here in the first place?” Espurr asked. That was a very pressing question, and she needed to answer it as quick as she could. If one had appeared, why couldn’t others… ?

“Oh!” Tricky suddenly perked up. “I can answer that!”

Without waiting for Espurr to respond, she suddenly ran back towards the boulder in the back of the cave.

“It wanted us to break this large boulder, right?” Tricky asked as Espurr walked over to where she was standing. “Well, I felt a draft, and I took a closer look. look at the cracks…”

Espurr gazed at the spiderlike cracks running across the boulder. Tricky was right: she could see and feel some kind of powerful energy emanating from behind them, along with a draft that seemed to make only that section of the room unnaturally cold. She walked up and inspected the boulder, looking at the cracks up close. These weren’t cracks into solid stone, these were…

They looked more like cracks in a wall. She could see faint glimmers of light behind it, light that had a specific red sheen to it. She could hear the blowing of wind behind it, and smell that it smelled foul. This was a passage to somewhere, she instinctively knew it was a bad place. Her body just knew. She took a step back.

“Tricky?” she asked.

“Yeah?” Tricky said.

“Remember the Crooked House?”

Tricky nodded.

“What if this dungeon is like that one?”

There was silence for a moment.

“Then it wanted us to break the boulder to let more of them in…” Tricky said. It was the conclusion they’d both come to.

“And if one got in…” Espurr trailed off. That made this the most dangerous place in the dungeon to be. Especially if that Void Shadow already in the dungeon decided to come back for them.

“We should get out of here,” Tricky said. Espurr agreed.

“Which way did that fake Bunnelby lead us?” she asked as they walked around the large wavering pillar of light and back towards the entrance with fevered haste.

“I don’t remember…” Espurr said. “But maybe if we go back to the spot where the storm was, it’ll help us find the real Bunnelby.”

Tricky nodded, and then they continued out of the room and into the desert’s oddly chilly sandscape once more.

~\({O})/~​

Trekking through the halls of the desert labyrinth was an eerie, silent experience. Espurr didn’t say anything as they went, and Tricky was just as quiet. There was only the sound of the sand grains shifting as they trudged over them, and an unnatural wind blowing in the distance. And no indicator of where the Void Shadow was. It could be on the other side of the dungeon, or it could be in the next hall over. Or it could be under their feet, just waiting to grab them. Espurr had started checking the ends of the next halls before she or Tricky continued into the next corridor, and the sand below them for veins of darkness.

And all the while, the search for Bunnelby continued. It looked like the sun was beginning to go down faster than it should have, and soon they could see a shimmering ball of fire setting over silhouettes of ruined buildings in the distance. It cast the horizon into a display of orange, pink, and purple, the stars glittering up above where the sky had turned to night. The warping of the Dungeon made it all look like a painting, ghostly and ethereal among the silence.

The sands turned from dull brown to deep purple as the sun set. Soon they were searching under a bright moon obscured by clouds. It bathed the desert in a strange violet sheen, and the cold only intensified. Soon they could see their breaths in front of their faces as they trekked, and they felt twice as weary as they should have.

It had only been a couple of hours. Espurr and Tricky exited the halls and entered another vast expanse of desert different from the first. Only half-buried wreckage and the ghostly husks of buildings broke up the endless expanse of sand, and the mirage of buildings in the distance that they would never reach.

“I’m so tired…” Tricky whined, as they stopped to rest in a small nook between two collapsed walls that were once attached to something else. Whatever it was had been blown away by time.

Espurr leaned back against the wall, focusing on keeping her eyes open. She had to be strong.

“Me too,” she said.

All that searching, and Bunnelby still hadn’t popped up. They couldn’t keep going forever. Espurr was beginning to worry that her hypothesis was wrong, that the Shadow had indeed eaten him before it tried to impersonate him. Maybe it just ate the bag too. Or threw it away. What if they were running themselves ragged in circles, searching for somemon who was already gone?

The more she thought on it, the clearer it was in her head. They had more reason to believe Bunnelby had been consumed by the Shadow than they had to believe he wasn’t. She didn’t want to believe it, but she could swallow that truth if push came to shove. And the truth was what if they were looking for a ‘mon that was dead, then any direction they travelled lead to their deaths. At the claws of the dungeon, the Void Shadow, or exhaustion itself. The smarter decision was to regroup somehow, before they petered themselves out.

“Tricky…” Espurr started as they rested. “What if it’s a better idea to get out of here while we still can? We’ll get back to the city, and we’ll tell them all what happened. Maybe we can get a search party to look for him.”

Tricky looked at her like she was crazy.

“We can’t do that; he’s still out there!” she said. “How would you feel if it was you being left behind?”

“But we don’t know he’s still out there,” Espurr countered. “He could have been eaten. He probably was eaten.”

“We don’t know that either!” Tricky pointed out. “And I’m going to keep searching. Even if it takes all day and all night!”

“Tricky…” Espurr began. “Aren’t you tired? We’re wearing ourselves out. We don’t have supplies, or any way to find him, or any way to even know if he’s alive… You could die out there looking for him. And none of us will escape.”

Tricky’s eyes blazed with sudden fire.

“But that’s not an excuse to leave him behind,” she said.

“It is if it means two of us getting out instead of none of us,” Espurr countered.

“But three of us could leave!”

“You don’t know!”

“Well, neither do you!”

Espurr paused, rubbing her head. This was going nowhere.

“Well,” she said. “I’m going back to get some kind of reinforcements. We could get a party to search for him, maybe some rest while we’re at it, and we won’t have to worry about the Void Shadow. We’ll spend enough energy just finding the way out of here. We don’t need to spend it looking for him too when we’re so tuckered out already.”

“And that’s why we shouldn’t look for the way out!” Tricky pointed out. “We should be looking for him! He has the bag. If we find him, we’ll find reinforcements and the map!”

“But it’s a gamble,” Espurr said. “And we’re losing it.”

“So is finding the entrance,” Tricky refuted. “We’re losing that too.”

“Well, that’s what I’m going to do,” Espurr said.” She stood up, trying to free her fur of the sand that got everywhere. “Are you coming, or not?”

Tricky shook her head. “No I’m not,” she said. “I’m going to keep looking for him.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

They both turned away from each other.

Maybe it was the cold of the desert, but neither Espurr nor Tricky could bring themselves to walk away. The cold of the desert encroached in the wake of their silence.

Then there was a shifting in the sand. It was subtle, small enough that Espurr only noticed how she had to shift balance ever so slightly to keep herself upright. But it was enough. Espurr couldn’t see anything in the sand, but…

“Tricky,” she said quickly, turning around. Tricky was still standing there, staring down at the sand. “The Void Shadow…”

“What about it,” Tricky mumbled, sounding put out.

“When I chased it outside, it disappeared into the sand,” Espurr said. “Didn’t you feel that—”

The sand shifted again, sending them both stumbling for balance. Then it began to vibrate. Espurr noticed that her feet were beginning to sink into it, and she heard the sounds of crunching stone coming from the collapsed walls above them…

“Run, now!” she yelled.

Tricky looked one way, then the other, then scampered back towards Espurr at the sound of the call.

Vines suddenly erupted out of the shifting sand, ensnaring both Espurr and Tricky in their grips. They started as black tentacles, then quickly formed up into gnarled green roots as they whipped around Espurr’s legs and tripped her. Before she could properly get her bearings, the vines were dragging her back towards the center of the nook. Screams and yelps from Tricky’s side told Espurr the same thing was happening to her.

All the while they could both feel the sand that was beginning to sink away under them. They had to get free. Focusing on the small millimeters of space between her fur and the vines that were currently tangling around her, Espurr conjured a thin blanket of telekinetic energy around her, and let it flow outwards—

The vines were blasted away from Espurr, devolving into black goo that landed on the sand with a hiss. Espurr looked back at Tricky, who was biting down on the last of the limp vines with flaming teeth.

They both ran out of the small nook, struggling to keep their balance upon ground that was turning more and more into an unstable vacuum with each step. Just at the last second, Espurr and Tricky hit the ground, falling to their bellies on stable sand. Looking behind them, they watched in silent horror as brown, jagged points emerged from the sinking sand before them, large teeth emerging as more and more of the sand swirled away. Two sides of a massive, ovular dome rose out of the sand, travelling up towards the sky until they clamped over the two-story-high walls effortlessly. With a loud, reverberating crash, the jaws of the massive trapinch had closed. An eye as large as Espurr and Tricky combined gazed at them. It was pitch-black with a red pupil, its composition unnatural.

​

Espurr and Tricky stared up at it, both paralyzed with fear. Then the sand underneath them began to shift further, and as the colossal mouth slowly opened again, it began to lean down, down, down…

Both of them broke out of their frozen spells, turning the other way and making a break for it. The massive shells of the trapinch landed on either side of them with a tremendous splash in the sand, the jolt throwing them both to the ground. Espurr looked back and saw a large, rope-like tongue thrashing in the air. Except at the end, it wasn’t a tongue. The flesh of the tongue ended halfway, becoming a globby mess of black goo that sprouted countless limbs from countless different pokemon at the end.

The tongue—or whatever it was—lashed down with a whip, and every arm, leg, and pincer connected to its tip reached in unison for Espurr and Tricky. Espurr ducked and rolled, barely escaping the grasp of four huge machamp limbs. The pincer of a krabby nearly cut off her head. Seven ariados legs nearly speared her in various spots. She crawled to her feet as fast as she could, stumbling to a start and summoning a desperate telekinetic blast to ward off the grasp of a large tentacruel tentacle.

All the while, she could see the disappearing light of the moon, obscured by the large dome of the massive mouth slowly closing in around them. Even without the tongue to worry about, they were out of time. She had to find Tricky!

Something crashed into Espurr from the side, sending them both tumbling through the sand. Espurr tried to blast it off, but they were both tumbling too fast for her to concentrate. She fought it wildly with her paws, trying to keep its thrashing legs away from her—

They stopped tumbling, and the other creature stopped thrashing enough for Espurr to see that it was Tricky. Quickly realizing they were locked together, Espurr and Tricky untangled themselves, both panting wildly.

“Outta the way!” Tricky suddenly yelled, as the large tongue rose into the air right over where they stood. Espurr and Tricky again split, as it came crashing down into the sand. Its arms picked it up like a centipede, using hundreds of limbs to skitter after them like a walking snake.

Espurr ran like a shot, rolling and dodging out of the way as five different limbs grabbed for her at once. It was all a blur after that. She knew she had found Tricky at some point, and they had managed to make it out of the trapinch’s closing jaws before it could seal them off from the world for good. And then they were back on the purple sands of the night, running through lilac dunes for their life.

As they ran, the tongue seemed to extend after them. It pulled out of the trapinch’s mouth, beyond it, and then the tongue was absorbing the rest of the trapinch to become some kind of multi-limbed abomination. Espurr glanced back at it as they ran through the night sand. It was no longer a trapinch—it had morphed completely into a massive, snakelike rope, carrying itself via hundreds and hundreds of arms. All those arms made it way too fast—it was going to catch them!

“It’s going to catch us!” Tricky yelled frantically, already ahead of Espurr by now. She was naturally faster and more nimble, and Espurr couldn’t keep up. At this rate, the Shadow was going to grab her any second—

But just before it could overtake Espurr, the amalgamation suddenly tripped. It fell into the sand with a mighty crash, prompting Espurr to look behind her again as she ran to safety. But this didn’t seem to be a calculated move—a hundred different legs spasmed in the sand as the black tongue-creature writhed like an agonized centipede. And then the whole thing suddenly lost all stable form, reverting to a mass of writhing black slime. Whatever was happening to it, it wasn’t going anywhere fast. Espurr wasn’t questioning her good luck; she found the energy within her to pick up the pace and nearly catch up with Tricky.

Neither of them dared to look back again until they were already safely within the confines of the halls once again. She could see the vast expanse of the desert behind them. The mass of black goo, still lacking a solid form, turned into ropes and burrowed back into the sand in silence. Espurr and Tricky just watched it from their hopefully safe distance, too out of breath and frazzled to do much else.

“We can’t leave,” Tricky said with an air of finality. “Not while that’s still here.”

As much as she wanted to just get out of here, Espurr had to admit Tricky had a point. No matter what they did, they couldn’t just walk away and leave that thing alone in there. Who knew what it would do next?

But… Espurr took a seat against the dungeon wall, rubbing her temples and closing her eyes. How? And what should they do next?

“You okay?” Tricky asked. Espurr cracked an eye open, seeing that Tricky was staring at her worriedly.

“I need some time to think,” she said, closing her eyes again and trying to concentrate.

“I can help,” Tricky responded.

“Maybe we’re beyond help,” said Espurr, opening her eyes again. She’d given up thinking. “We’re lost. If we can’t find a way around here, we’ll be aimlessly wandering until it’s daytime before we know i—"

“Daytime…” Tricky suddenly interrupted. Tricky interrupting was nothing new, but Espurr hadn’t seen the furrowed look on her face often.

“What is it?” she asked.

“When it became night…” Tricky said. “The dungeon made that faster than it should have been, right?”

Now that Espurr thought about it… they couldn’t have spent more than three hours combined in this dungeon. And they’d left in the morning.

“You’re right,” she said. “It’s always like that. We go into a dungeon when the sun is high, and it’s sundown when we get out. What about it?”

“So if we spent a little time in here,” Tricky said, “and a lot of time passed out there, then that means…

“What if we could get help, search for Bunnelby, and keep an eye on the Void Shadow all at the same time?” she asked.

She could see Espurr’s eyes light up, catching onto the thread she had ahold of.

“I think I see where you’re going,” she said. “If one of us leaves to get reinforcements, they’d be back in no time at all. And then we could all search.”

“Exactly!” Tricky yipped. “It just means…”

One of them had to stay behind in the dungeon and search.

“I could stay behind,” Espurr volunteered. “It’ll only be a little while, right? You’re faster than me.”

“If you’re sure…” Tricky pawed the ground. She wanted to be the one to look for Bunnelby. But even so, she knew Espurr was right. Of the two, she was the faster one. The faster she could go there and get back, the faster help came for everymon. She just had to be quick on her feet.

“But how do we find the way out?”

That was the kicker. Espurr still didn’t have an answer for that. Except…

It wasn’t entirely true. She did have one idea. It was just so stupid she wasn’t sure if it would work, or get them all killed. But at this point, it was worth trying.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” she said. “You said this dungeon wasn’t like the others, right? That it was a maze?”

Tricky nodded.

“Yup! Just like a hedge maze.”

“If it’s like a hedge maze,” Espurr continued. “Then why don’t we just climb the walls?”

There was a moment of silence as Tricky paused, realizing what an obvious solution it was.

“Why didn’t we think of that sooner?” she asked.

In any other dungeon, climbing the walls probably would have led to an untimely death. Espurr still wasn’t entirely sure that scaling this one would leave them alive. But they had to try.

“We just never had to,” she said. “Now help me up!”

The walls were stone here, brick there, window in some spots, a jumped-up visage of building pieces and sand that formed nothing. But it did offer just enough of a foothold for Espurr and Tricky to scale the walls. They climbed from window to brick, avoiding the sandy bits that wouldn’t hold and using the stable rock ledges as resting places. But finally, with a little help from Espurr’s telekinesis, the two of them reached the top of the wall.

Once she and Tricky were at the top, Espurr dusted herself off and looked around. All around them, she could see a vast expanse of walls that snaked out from where they were and went on for half a mile. Looking back the other way, an even larger expanse. She could see a thin beam of light that seemed to go up from the center of a clearing far within the maze and end at the top of the painted sky that stretched over the maze like a dome.

“The anchorstone,” she said aloud. That was the only thing she knew of that could be creating light in here. “We can use that to guide us.”

“Where’s the an—” Tricky began, but then stopped herself once she saw the light. “…If that’s the anchorstone,” she began again carefully. “Then the entrance is that way, right?” she pointed in the opposite direction, right down where they had been walking originally.

“What makes you say that?” Espurr asked.

“We never took any big turns from here to the anchorstone,” Tricky said. “We came from that direction, and then we went back. And because this dungeon doesn’t shift, it should still be there…”

There wasn’t a way to be fully sure. Espurr could see a flicker of yellowish doubt from Tricky. But if she knew the way…

The top of the wall was wide enough that if Tricky laid down and spread her tail out, she could cover half of it. Neither of them needed to worry about falling off.

“How do I find you when I get back?” Tricky asked Espurr, who was scoping out her own path.

“I’m going to head for that beam of light,” Espurr said. She pointed up. “Follow it when you get back. It’s what I’m doing.”

Tricky nodded, puffing herself up to look braver than she felt. “Right!”

Without another word, the two of them ran off, heading in their opposite directions to opposite destinations. They could only hope they’d find their way back here in the end.

~\({O})/~

~Espurr~​

Espurr wasn’t ready to admit it, but without Tricky around, she felt twice as unsafe. Tricky was good at spotting all the things she wasn’t, and the two of them would have died for sure if they’d been on their own in half the situations they’d been together. And in a situation like this, being split apart was perilous.

But more than anything it was because of how alone she felt. The purple velvet of the night felt ominous when there was no-mon to watch her back. The stone of the dungeon walls might collapse any second, with no-mon to catch her fall. And the Void Shadow… it was still out there. Waiting. Searching. Espurr thought she was safe on top of the walls… but she couldn’t be sure. What if it had gone after Tricky, and they’d both made a grave mistake?

That thought was powerful enough to make her want to turn around and see if she could still catch up with Tricky. She knew the general direction…

But Tricky must have been just as scared as she was. They were counting on each other. She couldn’t back down now. If only they had a way to stay in contact…

Search the maze for Bunnelby. That was her first priority. If Tricky came back with the rescue before she found anything, she could join them, but if Bunnelby was out there, she needed to find him before something worse did. The walls of the maze decked out where she could see them made what was once an impossible task at least somewhat feasible now. Espurr started to cover the maze in organized blocks, looking on both sides of each wall as she ran across the stone walkways on the tops.

The walls seemed to spiral out and lead into each other in confusing patterns, stone walkways that took twists and turns nearly incomprehensible. Sometimes the paths in between were wide, sometimes they were narrow. One time, Espurr found herself at a dead end, and needed to jump across to the other side. The gap was too far for her to jump on her own, but she managed to conjure a shaky psychic platform that let her hop on thin air. Jumping across gave her unpleasant memories of jumping out of the oak tree back in the School Dungeon. Luckily, she didn’t hit the ground this time.

Soon enough, sounds reached Espurr’s ears. She changed her direction immediately, honing in on the location of where they were coming from. Was it something bad? Probably. But she’d take bad over nothing.

Something was scraping against the sand. It squelched as it galloped along, its pace very quick and frenetic. Espurr quietly fell into step with it, discreetly looking down from up on the rooftop. She didn’t dare to make a sound, glancing down at what was causing the noises: the Void Shadow.

She hadn’t properly seen its true form since it had attacked them back in the Anchorstone. Whatever had happened to it when it fell into the stairway, it hadn’t recovered. It was missing half a head, an arm, and a leg. In place of those were the powerful hind leg of an Arcanine, and the arm of a machamp. It hadn’t fixed its head for some reason, but it seemed to function fine with just half a jaw.

Espurr stopped short when the Shadow did. She saw it spasm—it suddenly devolved into a mass of writhing, black tentacles, reforming into various pokemon for only split seconds—a monferno, a simisear, a tentacruel—before collapsing back into its base form, rasping. Its artificial limbs sprouted from it once more, and it continued to gallop off again.

It was damaged, Espurr realized. No wonder it had stopped out back in the desert—it was too injured to maintain its form constantly!

But what was it doing? She quickly sped up to keep time with it. It was galloping through the halls now, clearly heading somewhere with purpose. And if the Void Shadow had a purpose, Espurr was going to know about it.

Her question was answered soon enough—the Shadow turned a corner and gazed upon a dead end far ahead in the hall. Espurr saw something at the very end; she squinted further to get a better look. Up ahead in the hall was what looked like the crumpled form of… Bunnelby! He’d survived.

But her joy was short-lived; the Void Shadow was closing in fast. He might have been alive against all logic and hope, but he wasn’t going to be much longer unless Espurr did something. As unprepared as she was to face a Void Shadow all on her own, there wasn’t another choice. Espurr steadied herself, and decided to use the element of surprise to her advantage.

A psychic blast of energy barreled into the Shadow from above, causing it to stop and sniff up towards the skies with a snarl. Behind it, Espurr deftly floated to the ground, making sure to land quietly. The Shadow didn’t have eyes; it hunted by smell and sound. She’d have enough time for a second opening before—

The Shadow’s form lost stability once more, shifting into the black writhing mass, and then into something that looked like several different pokemon mashed into one. And it definitely had eyes. Espurr didn’t see what it was, just that it had eyes and it had seen her, the Shadow had seen her—

Before she could charge up an attack to blast it away, the Shadow leapt and pounced. It landed on her and knocked her into the ground, pressing her against the sand with its black clawed arm. All its weight leaned on Espurr; if the sand wasn’t pliable enough for her to sink she thought she might have been crushed.

She might still be crushed. The claws only sunk deeper and deeper, pushing her further into the sand, and she struggled to breathe against all the weight, struggled to conjure up any kind of attack. She managed to summon flickers of mental energy to the front of her head, keeping them in place, holding, waiting…

The Shadow spasmed a third time, and Espurr chose that moment to shove the small amount of raw power she could conjure up into the creature. It stumbled back, formless, large claws leaving her chest, before it shifted into only the trunk of a copperjah and bellowed in pain. Then it lost form completely. Splatters of black slime fell in the sand.

And it wasn’t getting up. Whatever she’d done… she’d bought herself time. Espurr was too winded to get up right away, but she forced herself to stand, and stumbled past the remains of the Shadow before it could put itself back together again.

Now that Espurr could see Bunnelby up-close, she could see that he wasn’t conscious—he was crumpled up in the sand at the end of the hall, several meters away from the Shadow. She pushed herself to sprint all the way to him, then dropped down to her paws and knees on the sand. His exploration bag, miraculously untouched, lay on the ground next to him. Espurr wasted no time opening that up—Bunnelby had packed this thing so full he couldn’t carry it; there had to be something in here she could defend herself with.

She found it quickly: A stick with grooves that glowed with energy. A wand! Unlike the ones in Gabite’s bag, this one glowed a bright blue. It looked and felt like a powerful weapon, but Espurr didn’t know how to handle it. Not that she had a choice, there was nothing else in the bag that looked like a weapon at first glance and she was short on time. Here went nothing…

The sound of heavy rasping in the distance alerted Espurr to the fact that they weren’t alone anymore. Glancing behind her, she saw that the Shadow had pulled itself back together, and was now standing. Its replacement limbs took form from dozens of swirling black threads, changing texture and completing themselves within seconds.

Espurr spun around and stood to her feet, carefully brandishing the wand in front of her. The Shadow sniffed the air, fixating on her from all the way across the hallway. Then it was off like a shot—

The Shadow ran in her direction so fast that Espurr barely had time to react. She thrust the wand out, but it did nothing. Short on time and unsure of what else to do—she didn’t have Tricky around to light it like the last one—She threw the stick towards the Shadow. As it soared through the air, a psychic blast cleaved it in half.

The stick blew apart, tons of water-based energy flowing outwards from it and engulfing the monster. It was like a self-contained flood, only taking up a very specific portion of the hallway but nearly drowning the Shadow within. When the water had dissipated, the Shadow, mangled and thrust on the floor, could only let out a pained hiss. To Espurr’s surprise, it scampered back off into the halls, leaving them clear alone. She would have chased it, but there were more important things to worry about.

With the Shadow gone, she lowered herself back to Bunnelby, placing a paw to his chest to make sure his heart was still beating. Luckily, she could feel it. The warmth radiating from his body, the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest, as well as the purple-tinged shade of sleep she got off him. She sighed, an earnest sigh of relief. He was okay. They were all going to be okay.

Bunnelby seemed to be sleeping off whatever had happened to him in the sandstorm back there. Espurr thought it rude to jar him out of it, but beggars couldn’t be choosers and she needed him awake. When poking him in the chest, then shaking him roughly didn’t work, Espurr resorted to closing her eyes and using her sixth sense to reach into his mind. With a single mental poke from her, Bunnelby suddenly restarted, coughing to life as his eyes flew open.

“What…” he choked out, still coming to his senses. “Wha… what…” he went cross-eyed, then focused on Espurr in front of him.

He trailed off, just sitting up in place and breathing heavily. Espurr let him recuperate, sitting next to him and folding her arms idly as she waited.

“Where’s fennekin?” Bunnelby asked, once he had recovered enough to take in more of his surroundings.

“We split up,” Espurr said. “Tricky went off to get help. I stayed behind to look for you.”

And to keep tabs on the Void Shadow. Which was still somewhere around here. She cast a look back to the hallway at its thought.

“Right,” Bunnelby said, grunting in pain. He lowered his left ear to hold his arm delicately. “How long until the rescue gets here? I think my arm is…”

Espurr could feel the secondhand pain from him; she looked closer at the arm and saw it was hanging in a weird position. Was it disjointed?

“It should be soon,” she said. She stood up, and pointed towards the large beam of light in the sky. “They’ll meet us there at the anchorstone. We need to get there before they do.”

Bunnelby tried to get to his feet. He was still clutching his arm with an ear; he couldn’t pick up the bag. Espurr picked it up for him, and did her best to sling it over his shoulder. It wouldn’t work without agitating his arm, so she took it instead. It was a little heavier than her old bag, the straps digging into her shoulder. But it felt nice to have a bag on her shoulder again.

“That black shadow thing,” Bunnelby said, as they began to walk at a middling pace down the hall. “Do you know something about that?”

Espurr didn’t see what good keeping the truth from him would do. She nodded again, letting Bunnelby infer the rest.

“Well?” Bunnelby asked. “I think you better fill me in.”

~\({O})/~

Sand Continent Barrens

~Tricky~​

Tricky was used to go going off on her own. She’d done it for years before. But now, something was different. Maybe it was just the dark of the night talking, or the situation they were in. But she just didn’t feel as safe on her own anymore. She didn’t feel as safe without Espurr to watch her back.

The walls in the distance were a long while off, only as tall as half her leg from here. That meant she had to be faster. She broke out into a run, trying to ignore it as the dungeon got further and further behind her. She needed to be quick, she needed to swift. It would take a while for anymon to come back with her, and she couldn’t waste time out here.

Tricky had never run this fast for this long before; five straight minutes. Already, she was wearing out, and it was beginning to show. She was panting hoarsely, and by the time that she was within earshot of anymon at the wall, her burning legs trembled and she could barely stand. The walls stretched above her so high she could barely see anything but the night stars above them. They were large, monolith, and black as night—in fact, they blotted out the night sky. And the gates, their only way through, were sealed shut.

“Hey!” she called up at the walls, not sure how else to get anymon’s attention. Her voice echoed through the sand and up towards the wall, but no-mon answered. “Anymon?

“Berry crackers,” she mumbled dejectedly, when only her own echoes met her. Now what?

And so Tricky ended up sitting there at the large doors, intensely aware that every second out here was costing her valuable time. Half of her wanted to sulk and hope that somemon would notice her sulking around. The other half wanted to turn around and run straight back to the dungeon to help out.

But that wouldn’t do anything, Tricky realized, because even if Espurr and Bunnelby got out of the dungeon, they’d have to get on the other side of this wall to get back to the city. But it was okay—she could solve this! She just needed to slow down and think…

Now that she was slowing down, the thoughts came easier. If Bunnelby went into the dungeon, and it was only a couple of hours in there until it turned dark, then that must have meant they could have come back during night. He had a way to get over the wall, right? And… and it couldn’t be in his bag, because they had to get the guards’ attention to open the gate! So…

Tricky scampered up to the gate, and studied the wall more closely. As she looked closer, she noticed that next to the gargantuan opening of the gate, there was a button and what looked like a large grey disc thing. She didn’t know what a button was doing all the way out here, but if anything that was a way to get somemon’s attention. She scampered the rest of the way—hopped up because the button was too high for her—and managed to mash it down with her snout.

A small red light next to the dome lit up. Tricky was jarred by the sound of speech coming through the grey disc thingy.

“Hello? Who is this? Anymon out there?”

Tricky realized just in time that was her que to speak up. “Yes—Yes, it’s me!”

“Who?”

“T—” Tricky stopped herself just in time, realizing she hadn’t told every guard in this place her name. “I’m Fennekin Tricky! One of the explorers that went outside the walls today! Everything went wrong and we need a team to come back with us and help search for somemon!”

“I think I have you on record…” came the tinny voice from the grey disc thingy. “Yeah. Here. Hey, listen… we’re going to open the gates now, and then get you safe on the other side of this wall, okay?”

Tricky perked up for a minute. Did that mean they were going to send a team in her place?

But she wanted to go along. She’d promised to go back and find Espurr with them; she wasn’t leaving until they were all out of the dungeon.

“But why do I have to be on the other side of the wall?” she asked. “I want to help.”

“Help with what?” came the tinny voice.

“Help with the rescue expedition!” Tricky said.

“I’m sorry,” came the voice. “But there’s not going to be a rescue expedition.”

“Wait, what?”

“We can’t help your friends,” came the grey disc thing. “But we going to get you on the other side of this wall.”

“Why not??” Tricky cried out.

“Everymon who goes past these gates has signed a waiver. You understand and accept that beyond these walls, you are on your own. The Archeology Division doesn’t have the resources to allocate to dungeon rescues for a dungeon as expansive and volatile as the Sands of Time. These walls exist for a reason.”

“That’s… that’s heartless!” Tricky spat. “How can you just leave pokemon that need saving back in that dungeon?”

“Listen, I don’t make the rules,” said the voice over the microphone. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Tricky could feel her indignance burning in her chest. These pokemon were heartless. And if they weren’t going to give her the help she needed…

“I haven’t lost anymon,” she spat at the microphone. “And I’m going to prove it. With or without your help.”

“Wait, don’t—” the microphone began, but by the time the pokemon on the other side had finished speaking, Tricky was already speeding back towards the dungeon.

~\({O})/~

The Sands of Time

~Espurr~​

With Bunnelby’s arm in the state it was, Espurr couldn’t exactly climb them both back up onto the tops of the walls again. Luckily, they had the bag, and the bag had the map in it. It didn’t take long to figure out where they were, since Espurr had memorized the general layout of the walls around them and quickly pointed out a spot.

She had told him all about the Void Shadows. It was a fantastical story, and under any other circumstances she wouldn’t have blamed Bunnelby for not believing her. But after the encounter with the Beheeyem in the city and the sandstorm that happened today, he seemed shaken but willing to believe it.

“And that’s what it can do,” she said to Bunnelby as they walked through the halls, at the end of her story. “This one’s injured. If we run into it again, we have an advantage.”

But an advantage wasn’t saying much when a Void Shadow was already so powerful.

“So how do you…” Bunnelby began, looking winded. Espurr couldn’t blame him. She was just as winded as he felt. “Defeat a Void Shadow?”

“I don’t know,” Espurr said. And it was true. She didn’t know how she’d defeated Nyarlathotep back in the Crooked House. She just… had. This one didn’t seem like it was going to go out the same way.

Unless…

“…The Anchorstone,” she said aloud.

“Anchorstone?” Espurr was so focused on her thoughts that Bunnelby’s voice reminded her that he was still here. “You made it to the Anchorstone?”

“Y-yes,” she said, coming to her bearings quickly. “I know how we can kill it. When Tricky and I were back in the Anchorstone, there were these stairs. It crashed into them and half its body got roasted away. That’s why it’s injured. If we can trick it into running into the stairs again…”

Then they could kill it. And they’d have to act fast, because Espurr had no idea how the reinforcements Tricky was bringing would match up against a Void Shadow. Especially if the Shadow found them before Espurr and Bunnelby did.

“How did you get there?” Bunnelby asked. “The maze is so elaborate you can’t navigate it without a map.”

“The Shadow knew the way,” Espurr explained. “It impersonated you and took us there.”

A wind stopped them in their tracks. It blew through the halls, the only wind that had blown in this dungeon. It smelled like something rotting. And if the wind was here, then that meant…

Fog was quickly rolling in. They could both see it, creeping over the walls of the corridor just up ahead. Espurr wasn’t deterred.

“We head for the anchorstone,” she said determinedly, marching ahead. Only when she’d nearly turned the corner up ahead, did she hear the sound of something scraping against the sand.

They stopped. Espurr made herself scarce behind the back of the hall’s corner, and Bunnelby followed suit. She peeked out, able to see the spasming form of the Void Shadow in the hallway ahead.

It wasn’t doing much, just standing there in the fog. But then, slowly, as Espurr watched, something slunk out of it.

Whatever it was didn’t seem to have solid form. It was long, deformed, and Espurr couldn’t make out what was what because it seemed to shift composition and parts every few seconds. But they could both see that something was there. Silence descended over the hall, as they both watched to see what would happen next.

A loud roar, not unlike the sound of something screeching, suddenly ricocheted through the hallway. It made Espurr jump in fright, nearly catapulting herself back into Bunnelby. The roar made the spasming Void Shadow stumble closer towards the mist, bridging the rest of the gap between itself and whatever was in the fog.

My servant… they have hurt you.

The words weren’t spoken, but they drilled themselves into Espurr’s forehead like sledgehammers. Bunnelby didn’t seem to be affected; he was still staring ahead in something between abject horror and shock. Had he heard any of that?

The Void Shadow uttered a single raspy whimper, lowering its head before the dungeon wraith extended a shadowy limb out. It took form into a swirling claw, which it lowered towards the Shadow.

Allow me to heal your wounds.

Every word gave Espurr a larger headache. She was clutching her forehead, breathing hard, trying to fight off the pain that was fading but was intense. She recovered just in time to peel her eyes back onto the Void Shadow. Somehow, the wraith’s limb was healing it. As spindly shadowy claws swept over the Shadow’s form, the black goo that composed it was beginning to flow back into place. A new arm tore out of the Shadow’s left midsection, rising up and cracking into place as it flexed towards the sky, A new leg sprouted out of the Shadow’s spines at the bottom, while its ovular head that had been halved became whole once more. The Void Shadow stood up once more, now completely healed. Like it had never been touched.

The Dungeon Wraith’s limb retreated into the fog, and the shadow essence that composed it began to rise up into the mist. Espurr watched as the spindly set of claws rose up into the air once more, but this time they weren’t pointing at the Shadow, they were pointing at the corner of the hallway—

Now kill them.

Before Espurr could even react, the Void Shadow bounded at them with stunning speed. It scaled the corner in seconds and leapt at them, and Espurr was barely fast enough to create a psychic shield.

A searing pain blew through her head, as the Shadow’s strength smashing into it broke the barrier apart. Espurr was thrown back onto the sand. She cried out as the Shadow roared and hit the ground right in front of her. Black claws made to rend her midsection—

But the Shadow’s aim was thrown off at the last second. The claws hit the sand right next to Espurr, puncturing the ground to a degree that made her eyes widen with fear. Bunnelby’s ear had grabbed the Shadow by the neck, holding it in a strong chokehold. It was too late to act by the time Espurr realized how much of a mistake that was.

The Shadow only seemed to grin, before its head tilted upwards and didn’t stop tilting. Grey and brown fur began to sprout from the black goo of its neck, the head bubbling up and growing larger until it wasn’t a head anymore—it was the large arm of a diggersby. Which grabbed Bunnelby by the throat, lifted him up in the air, and began to squeeze.

Espurr got to her feet, coughing and trying to fight past the pain of her headache and how everything ached all over. She let out a gasp of horror, seeing Bunnelby up in the Shadow’s chokehold. He was clearly struggling to breathe, as the diggersby ear clamped further and further around his throat. Until it would snap, she realized.

Splitting up had been a bad idea. She wished that she had Tricky with her, whose fire the Void Shadows feared. Or something, anything to help her. Were there any more wands in that bag. She didn’t have the time or headspace to check.

And then she came up with it. A plan, a stroke of brilliance, something that was risky but was better than what was happening now. The only problem was that she’d be down for the count after this. It would all be down to Bunnelby. But it was her or him, and given all the risks she was already taking…

…She could take one more.

“Bunnelby!” she yelled as loud as she could, all the while searching for the mental snag in her head that she knew by now. She didn’t know if Bunnelby heard her, given he was being strangled, but she had to make sure this got through. “Get us both to the anchorstone! I’m going to—”

She found the snag, and pulled. A pulse of blinding, all-consuming pain split through the center of her head, and her vision went white, and then black.

~\({O})/~

~Bunnelby~​

The explosion of vibrant pink energy rippled outwards from Espurr’s ears, barreled into the walls, sliced clean through the Void Shadow, and blew dunes of sand up int the air. The sound was deafening, the energy battered Bunnelby around and threw him to the ground, and all he could see amongst the waves of expanding purple energy was Espurr, floating in the air nearly as high as the walls. Her ears were unfurled and shone purple; nearly white, and he couldn’t see the pupils of her eyes.

Ṱ̸̌h̶̠͎͆͜ę̶̛̼͍ ̵̗͍̬͑̔ȃ̷̠̭ṇ̷̌͝c̴͙͔̓̽h̴͕͙̐̃̒ͅo̵͉͒r̸͙̫̈́ş̴͉͎̋̅̏t̸̝̠̙̔̔o̷̡̹̚ņ̴̫̫̃e̶̟̻̊

Came the words from Espurr’s mouth, but it didn’t sound like Espurr.

C̴̬̊a̷͚̩͍͐̀ṙ̴͙̊͘r̷̦̈y̵̼̹̐ ̷̝͑̾̕u̶͕͠͝s̴͕̠͖͋̑ ̷̲͑̚t̴͇̦̘̓̍͝ò̵̻͛̀ ̸̺̌̀t̷͙̓̍͒ḧ̵͙̟̞́è̶̻̈̓ ̷̪̉̆͛ȁ̷̧̦n̷̝̏c̸̮̙̏͋̕h̷͖̹̺̐̆ọ̵̰͛ŗ̵̻͒̀̾s̸͍̹͝t̵͓͇̓̆̓ǫ̶̲͔̏n̸̏ͅę̷̠̂͆

The Void Shadow had long since retreated with a squeal of pain, even the fog that was encroaching around them had slithered back. Then it ended, the world went dark again, and all of the sudden Espurr had dropped a clean five feet to the ground and crumpled up in a heap.

Bunnelby wasn’t in any condition to be getting up, especially his arm, but none of them were. He got up from the ground and quickly hobbled his way over, falling to his knees and checking up on Espurr. He wasn’t a doctor, and she was clearly unconscious, but she seemed alive… for the moment.

For a moment, Bunnelby sat there, unsure of what to do. In the absence of light the fog was beginning to close in on them, and he was beginning to realize he might just have been in over his head for this one. But that didn’t mean he was going to give up.

Bunnelby didn’t have the spry power or energy of the fennekin he hoped was okay, or the wits and psychic parlor tricks of Espurr, but he did have willpower and tenacity. And so even though his arm needed healing, even though the bag was pulling him down and he could barely carry the unconscious Espurr, he slung the bag’s strap over his good shoulder with his ears, and then picked Espurr up in them.

One paw held the map. The fog was thick, and it wasn’t easy to see too far ahead of him, corridors obscured by mist and shadows. But he soldiered on anyway. Espurr had said a rescue would find them at the Anchorstone. Bunnelby knew one wasn’t coming. Going there would only endanger Tricky on the return journey, and that was if she was coming at all. Their first priority had to be getting out of there alive. They were closer to the Anchorstone than they were to the entrance, but going to the Anchorstone in this dungeon, where the distortion was strongest, spelled death. So Bunnelby made for the entrance instead.

The terrifying monster Espurr had referred to as a Void Shadow hadn’t appeared yet. He realized fully now from the holes in the sand that it had absorbed itself into the ground, and could be anywhere. Miraculously, it didn’t attack him at any point during his journey no matter how vulnerable they were; perhaps it was weary of another explosion. Whatever the reason, Bunnelby was relieved and thankful, if on guard. He couldn’t fight off that monster on his own. If it appeared again, they were both done for.

He trudged on, through halls of stone and destroyed buildings and dunes of sand. The fog obscured the jagged remains of ruined structures, making them only shadows in the fog. At some point, Bunnelby became unsure if he was going the right way, or if he had gotten turned around and was wandering aimless dunes of sand now. The fog made it impossible to tell where the beacon of light Espurr had pointed out was coming from, and he was now in the dark.

As he walked through a large expanse of sand and jagged ruins, the wind blew, making ghostly noises in the fog. It smelled of decay. Bunnelby became acutely aware that he wasn’t alone now, but it wasn’t the Void Shadow. Whatever this was was subtler, weaving its way through the fog, comeing to him in silence. Enveloping him with its sheer size.

Not a sound was uttered, but the fog seemed to whisper to him as he walked, walked and tried not to act on fear, every instinct telling him to run but that would only alert It that he knew It was there. He didn’t hear the words right, they seemed to slip through his ears and past his brain much like what was in the fog did. But somehow he knew what they were saying. They told him of things that didn’t make sense, but slowly made more sense as he walked, but he didn’t understand how they made sense.

They said that he should stop walking and turn around, it would be better that way. Better to abandon all this fear and all this hardship that had injured his arm, was weighing heavy on his ears now. They told him I could take that all away. They told him I Will Take It All Away. They told him I Can Make The Dungeon Your Home. I Can Kill That Hardship Inside You. You Want To Rest You Know You Want To Rest. Turn Around And Let Me See You. Let Me Make You Better.

And somehow all Bunnelby wanted to do was turn around. Let It make him better. It was an alien pull, but one that felt weirdly familiar, like the pull of his body to rest.

But it was an alien pull, and in his heart he knew it. He didn’t know where he pulled the strength to resist from, but he did. His steps became strained, transformed from a healthy walk into labored steps, on feet that wanted to Turn Around. Maybe the only reason he didn’t was because he could see up ahead a place where the fog wasn’t as thick and invasive. A place It hadn’t infested yet.

No Turn Around Right Now Turn Around Turn Around TURN AROUND

The command was so strong Bunnelby’s head physically jerked to the side. He held it back as it tried to turn around all the way. Espurr’s limp body turned with it. The shadows nearly got her. He couldn’t see them but he knew they nearly got her.

Another step. And then another. He had to keep going. Another step. Another step. Another step. He repeated it like a mantra in his head, using it to blot out the encroaching darkness in his mind. Each step was another step. Every Another Step brought him closer. Another step. Another step.

And somehow, before he knew it, he was out of the fog. The darkness lifted from his mind in an instant, and Bunnelby almost looked back—

But he didn’t dare to. He knew that would be his mistake. So instead, he ran. Ran for his life, and ran for Espurr’s. The fog seemed to follow him—he could feel its coldness on his back, hear the unnatural dungeon winds as they howled and propelled it, but he was faster. And he had a map.

Bunnelby didn’t stop running until he’d outstripped it, run far away from the fog and its scary voices. He shivered, couldn’t stop himself from shivering all over. Not from coldness, but from terror. He’d never sleep soundly again, not after… that.

The entrance couldn’t be too far away now, if he was reading this map right. Only a turn or two away. Bunnelby fit the map back in his bag, and went forward. He was as eager to get out of here as anymon, but… it was times like these he wished he wasn’t alone.

“M-Mr. Bunnelby?”

Like his prayers had been answered, Bunnelby suddenly perked up. Running down the corridor towards him was Fennekin!

“Fennekin?” Bunnelby called out, not daring to believe his eyes and ears. “Is that you?”

“Yup!” cried the fennekin, rushing forward until she had closed the distance between herself and Bunnelby. “I couldn’t get re-enforcements, so I came back to help you guys myself!” she panted raggedly; it looked like she was out of breath. “So lucky I found you! The entrance is just back that way, so we can leave now. Come on!”

She stuck close to Bunnelby, nudging him on with her head. Espurr, still bundled up in his ears, twitched in his grip. It seemed like she was beginning to stir. Bunnelby began to follow, but all the time he kept his eyes on Fennekin, because something didn’t add up. He’d watched these two interact over the couple of days he’d seen them at the Society; where was Fennekin’s boundless energy? If she’d come here and back, why did she look so freshened up and rested when the rest of them were run ragged? Where was her blue scarf, the one she hadn’t taken off since the day they’d arrived? And most importantly, why hadn’t she even asked to see Espurr?

And that was what tipped Bunnelby off: This wasn’t Fennekin. This was the Void Shadow.

But what was he going to do? He had Espurr in his ears; he couldn’t fight and protect her at the same time. They were only a corridor away from the entrance; the Shadow wasn’t going to let him just walk out of here.

Another step. Another step. The last bend of the corridor got closer and closer. Then Bunnelby noticed something turning the bend of the corner that was still several meters out. The creature’s yellow fur stood out plainly among the purple dunes of sand and the stone grey of the halls—it was Fennekin!

He heard a guttural growl of displeasure rise up out of the fennekin right next to him, one far too deep for a creature that size to have made. It occurred to him just in time to get back—

Large, clawed arms and a head lined with spiny teeth exploded out of the small fennekin body and zoomed for Bunnelby. Clumsy as he was, Bunnelby managed to run out of the way in time. He didn’t know how.

The real fennekin, still bounding towards him, let out a frightened yelp and stumbled back as the Shadow slammed into a wall and lost half its form.

“Stay back!” Bunnelby yelled in her direction. “Don’t come closer!”

He placed Espurr on the ground and thrust her limp body across the sand towards Fennekin.

“But… but…” the fennekin stammered, looking between Bunnelby, then Espurr, then the Void Shadow that was peeling itself off the wall.

“It’s alive again!” she yelled, prancing frenetically between two spots on the sand as the Shadow lunged for Bunnelby again. With less weight dragging him down now, Bunnelby was nimbler. The Shadow once again missed its mark.

Bunnelby landed on his arm. He grunted in pain. From where he was, he watched Fennekin drag the unconscious Espurr behind a sand dune, taking cover out of view. Good.

His mangled left arm didn’t appreciate him landing on it, but Bunnelby was in no situation to worry about that right now. Thank whatever higher powers there were that the bag had never been rezipped. His good arm dug in, pulled something out. There was confusion for a split second; he could have sworn he had two…

But the Shadow was unpeeling itself from the wall now. There was no time to worry about where the second one went, focus on using the first. As the Shadow made one last desperate lunge for him, claws outstretched and in the air, Bunnelby pointed the glowing blue wand up, and .

A concentrated explosion of water so powerful it blew Bunnelby back a bit barreled into the Void Shadow. The force corroded the Shadow’s outer slime, peeling away flaky black layers from limbs and ripping holes into the monster’s torso. Its head tore at the neck, nearly separating from the rest of its body. It lost its foothold on the ground just as the last of the wand’s energy left the stick, blasting the monster all the way across the corridor. Back the way they’d came. It was so far off Bunnelby didn’t even see where it had landed.

The stick dropped to the ground beside him, now dark and motionless. Its energy had been used up. Breathing hard and trying to calm down, Bunnelby pulled himself and the heavy bag to his feet, and limped his way over to Tricky.

Amber rays of dawn were creeping over the sand now, turning the dunes a brilliant flame orange. Bunnelby sat down on the dune that Fennekin was hiding behind, letting her slowly pop up from behind it.

“Is it gone?” she asked. Bunnelby only nodded, letting out a breath that quickly turned into a cough.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” he said to Fennekin, disguising the strain in his voice.

Fennekin nodded happily, but then her eyes widened.

“Look out!” she screeched. Bunnelby noticed what she was seeing a second too late; the Void Shadow, tattered, injured, barely standing, galloping at him with claws outstretched and ready to kill, and it was already too late to do anything—

A straight stream of fire burst out of Fennekin’s mouth and hit the Shadow point blank in the torso. That was the final blow. The fire seemed to seep between the cracks of the Shadow’s wounds, filling it from the inside out completely. It let out a loud screech of agony that tapered off into nothing, its body disintegrating into black flakes that scattered to the wind.

Wind that smelled like decay and rot. If that was here, then the fog wasn’t far off.

“Let’s not waste any more time,” Bunnelby breathed. He picked up Espurr’s unconscious body in his ears again, and the two of them steadily continued through the corridor, towards the shining light of day.

Safety was only a corridor away.

~\({O})/~​

Music of the Week!

Visions of Chani – Hans Zimmer

Explosion of Mob's Feelings – Kenji Kawai

 

[SparklingEspeon]

​

Headline Today: Police identify perpetrators of Spinda Café explosion

The storefront of Spinda Café was blown apart on Monday, injuring three. The explosion was caused by blast seeds that had been planted deliberately in one of the crates, and set off when it was being carried through the entrance. Police have identified the perpetrators of the attack through eyewitness reports to be three beheeyem, whose descriptions match those on a similar missing poster issued by the GoM.

“We don’t currently have evidence linking the beheeyem behind this attack to the beheeyem in the poster,” Mankey commented for the press. “We will, however, be working closely with the Expedition Society and related forces to help patrol Lively Town streets and keep our public hotspots safe.”

~ The Lively Town Times

~\({O})/~

CHAPTER TWELVE: HOME SWEET HOME

~\({O})/~

Outside Port Archaios ~ Sand Continent

~Latias~​

Framed against the silhouette of black, monolithic walls that shrouded the Sand Continent, the yellow lights of Port Archaios glimmered in the distance. A red blur shot towards the coast, sloppily evading ships that floated in her path. Did she accidentally cut a sail rope there? She knew she’d hit something with her wing but she was too tired to care.

She needed to get to land. Tell somemon, anymon who would listen. Not those on Mist and Air, whose political sphere would blind them to reason. Not those on Grass, who believed in the legends of old but were too powerless to do anything. Not those on Water, who had become little more than farmers and pawns. But the Sand Continent held no allegiances. Everymon was its ally, and it made no enemies. When she talked to them, she knew they would listen. And through them, the rest of the world would hear.

Smash—

The mast of a ship splintered apart, sending Latias tumbling through the air. She’d smashed into it before she could stop herself—she was too tired to keep going properly. Her wing was torn, destabilizing her in the air and sending her hurtling down towards the coast.

She crashed and skidded to a stop at the brink of a sandy beach, one of the few beaches the walls didn’t obscure. She groaned in pain and looked at her injured wing. It was torn nearly halfway through, a reddish magic energy leaking out instead of blood and flesh. It would heal with time… but she couldn’t fly on it. Or locomote herself for the time being.

The beach was large, wide, and seemed to have been left that way for tourists. With the black walls that loomed over them even from here Latias didn’t think it was a very glamorous tourist spot. But who was she to judge? What was important was somehow getting to the city. She was still in no condition to be traveling any further, she hadn’t been for over a day, but she couldn’t stop here. Until she got to the city, she couldn’t rest. She began to drag herself through the sand with her stubby arms and uninjured wing, one inch at a time. Only when she looked up did she realize she wasn’t alone.

A couple of figures were on the beach, the only ones there. Latias couldn’t tell from this distance, but they seemed to be coming towards her. Maybe the beach had guards, or janitors. Latias tried to float again, but her wing threw her off. That wasn’t going to work.

All the while, the two pokemon were getting closer. They were silhouettes just like the walls were, and as they came within clear vision distance, Latias noticed how they were floating instead of walking. Then, at some point, when they were only yards away from her, they stopped. Their cones were by far the most notable thing about them, towering up into the night like black spires.

Latias wasn’t sure what to make of it, especially when they just seemed to stand there silently. She figured she could try at some form of communication.

“Hello?” she called out. “You must be… shocked right now. But I need your help. I have something important to tell the Archeology Foundation in Port Archaios. It concerns the fate of the world. But I can’t get there on my own. Can you…” a hoarse cough. “Call somemon to help me the rest of the way?”

No answer. The two pokemon just stood there.

“Can you hear me?” Latias asked again, breathing heavily from her injury.

There was still no speech; the two pokemon were silent. But suddenly, lights began to flicker from bulbs on their arms. First, yellow, then green, then red. Latias watched as the cycle of lights grew faster and faster. Yellow, green, red, yellow, green, red, yellow green red yellow green red yellowgreenred—

The lights were suddenly raised and they blinked her in the face. Latias scrambled back, twisting her neck away. She heard the sound of something barreling towards her—an attack! This was an ambush! No wonder she’d gotten here so easi—

That was the last thought Latias had before the shadowy ball hit her. Her body was pain, and her vision went white, then black.

~\({O})/~

Bunnelby’s Ship ~ Late Morning

~Espurr~​

Slowly coming to. Espurr stirred from her sleep, trying to blink her eyes open. Her body ached all over, a dull pounding rolled through her head, and her vision still too foggy to see what she was looking up at. It looked… brownish.

What had happened? The last thing she remembered was the maze. Being stuck in the dungeon as the Void Shadow tried to strangle Bunnelby, and then exploding… everything after that was blank. She couldn’t even remember her dreams.

The… the Void Shadow. What happened to it? Espurr blinked the fogginess from her eyes, trying to raise herself from the cot—

The dull thumping in her head transformed into a sharp headache, bringing her head right back down to the pillow. She groaned lazily and jammed her eyes shut, trying to ease the pain.

“Espurr!”

The scampering of paws on a wooden floor caught Espurr’s attention next, and all of the sudden Tricky was standing right over her. She leaned in way too close for Espurr’s comfort. “You’re awake!”

Espurr just jammed her eyes shut again and groaned wordlessly a second time. The light from the window was invading her eyelids, and staring at anything brought her headache back with a vengeance.

“Huh?” Espurr heard Tricky sit back. “What’s wrong?”

“Headache,” she mumbled.

“Oh…” Tricky’s tail lashed back and forth, creating brushing noises against the floor. “Right. Bunnelby told me you did the explosion thingy back in the dungeon. That must have been so cool! I wish I was there to see it. A—and you should have seen me take down a whole Void Shadow by myself! I saved all of you guys from getting eaten back there! You were sleeping though.”

“Wait…” That intrigued Espurr enough that she ignored the pain enough to hear more. “You took down the Void Shadow?”

“Yup!” Tricky nodded so fast Espurr could barely follow her head. But then again, her vision was bleary and her own head was hurting. “I shot fire at it and it just blew up! If I knew they didn’t like fire, I’d have done that a lot sooner. But now we know, which means I get to be the Void Shadow Destroyer.”

“Where are we now?” Espurr asked, through Tricky’s jabbering.

“On the ship,” came a voice that wasn’t Tricky’s. Espurr looked over to see that Bunnelby had entered the cavern. He hopped over and sat himself on the other stool, letting out a yawn. Espurr noticed his left arm had been thoroughly bandaged. It didn’t look very delicate—it must have been only a temporary fix. “We’re headed back home, dock in a couple of hours. How’re you doing?”

“Headache,” Espurr mumbled a second time, staring back up at the ceiling. The light sensitivity was fading.

“The doctor said you would feel like that for a half hour or so after waking up,” Bunnelby said. “Give it a bit, it’ll wear off.”

Bunnelby adjusted his bandages with an ear, which had been jostled out of place by his movements.

“I have to say, I’ve got to give it to you two,” he said. “I didn’t know why Chief Ampharos decided to recruit two children to the Society, but I do know he doesn’t make decisions like that without a reason. If he brought you on, he must have seen something in you. I think I see it too now.”

Espurr found the compliment endearing, but Tricky appreciated it a lot more. Her eyes were just short of sparkling, and her tail wagged so fast it was basically dusting the backside of the stool.

“Hungry?” Bunnelby asked. It took Espurr a moment to realize he was talking to her. Opening her eyes again and looking over, Espurr saw he was holding out a piece of bread in her direction with an ear. “You were asleep when we ate.”

Espurr was hungry, but she was more tired. She couldn’t even bring herself to get up off the cot.

“I’ll eat it later…” she mumbled. At some point after that, she passed out again.

~\({O})/~​

The ship travelled for hours, crossing the ocean and cresting through the waves elegantly. But soon, the journey was over, and the many-colored roofs of Lively Town could be seen through the cabin’s windows. Espurr had risen not too long before, feeling much better after a second nap. She took the opportunity to eat the bread Bunnelby had left for her, plus drink some water on the side. It helped her fatigue and headache immensely.

As the ship drew within view of the town, Espurr entered onto the front deck with Tricky. They both bounded over to the bow of the ship, climbing up towards the highest railing where the lavender sails and the splashing of the waves below wouldn’t get in the way. The salty sea breeze blew heavily in Espurr’s face, and she could hear the chattering and shrieks of seagulls in the air above.

It was high noon and the light of the sun made it hard to see, but Espurr could spy the many vibrant colors of the rooftops that crested the town, as well as an ant-sized version of the Lively Town Harbor. And in the middle of it all, the purple and yellow towers of the Expedition Society building stretched above the houses, sitting up on its hill surrounded by the town. In the distance behind the town, large stone mountains stood tall, the beginning of the Sheer Mountain Range. A continent-wide mountain pass that stood between them and home.

But even if Lively Town wasn’t home, Espurr couldn’t deny the smile on her face, or that she was happy to see it again. It was more familiar than the Sand Continent, and without the shadow of the Beheeyem looming over it, the town looked just a little brighter now.

Five minutes later, the ship docked at the harbor. Bunnelby finished steering it into position and then saw to getting a harbor team to fold up the sails and tether the ship. Per Bunnelby’s instructions, Espurr and Tricky undid the ramp that led off the ship’s hull and down onto the stone of the harbor.

“Hey!” a shrill voice from the hustle and bustle of the harbor called out. “Over here! Expedition Society business, make way!”

The sparse crowd easily parted to let through a creature who was way too small to have made such a loud noise. Espurr and Tricky watched as Dedenne scurried up onto the ramp, a clipboard larger than she was attached to her back.

“You two!” she shrieked at them, pointing a paw out at them accusatorily. “Do you know how much chaos you caused when you snuck off with Bunnelby on this mission? And you didn’t even answer your expedition gadget! I tried to contact you the whole day, and nothing!”

Espurr and Tricky didn’t have a good retort. They both looked glum, taken aback by Dedenne’s scolding.

Dedenne shook her head. “This is what the Chief gets for bringing on children… That age restriction exists for a reason!

“Did the three of you make it back safe?” she asked loudly, scurrying around Espurr and Tricky, checking them over. “No scuffs, no bangs, nothing’s broken?” Espurr shook her head no.

“My tail hurts…” Tricky said. “But I think that’s because I slept on it weird.”

Dedenne’s face wilted when she saw Bunnelby tromping down the ramp with his bandaged arm.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“That’s a long story,” Bunnelby yawned wearily. “And I’d rather explain it at the Society.”

“Well, come on,” Dedenne said. She unhooked the clipboard on her back, unhooked a pen attached to it with her tail, and then marked down something with incredible speed. A couple seconds, and the clipboard was on her back again. “I want to see the three of you get checkups and meals, posthaste! Especially that arm. Nickit’s already waiting for you.”

She beckoned them onwards, scurrying back down the ramp.

Bunnelby straightened his bag, tried not to move his left arm too much, and walked past them down the ramp. Espurr and Tricky picked themselves up and followed after him. Espurr for sure wasn’t going to say no to some more food.

The towers of the Society weren’t that far away now.

~\({O})/~

Expedition Society Lobby​

Dedenne led them through the large purple walls that surrounded the Society Grounds, and then into the double doors that decorated the front of the building. The inside of the building was a lot cooler than the outside, a whoosh of cold air meeting Espurr as she stepped through the doors. She looked around as they went. The grand lobby of the building, with its bright lavender walls and golden fixings, still seemed unfamiliar to her.

“Nickit!” yelled Dedenne into the halls. “They’re here!”

“No need to yell so loud,” said Nickit, stepping out from the hallway to the left. She looked nonplussed. “I didn’t go anywhere.”

“These three just came back from the Sand Continent,” Dedenne said. “They need assistance and checkups.”

“Why’s the place so quiet?” Tricky asked, looking around the halls. They were abandoned, Espurr noticed—aside from the five of them, the building was as silent as a dungeon.

“That, dear Tricky, would be because everymon is out doing missions right now,” said a jubilant voice from above. Espurr and Tricky looked up to see Ampharos at the top of the lobby’s grand stairway. He slid on the rail towards the bottom of the stairs, hopping off and landing right in front of Dedenne.

“How was your endeavor to the Sand Continent?” he asked, letting his earth-green cloak drape behind him. “All three of you, that is.”

The pit in Espurr’s stomach grew.

“Before you say anything,” she said, but Ampharos suddenly cut her off.

“We’ll discuss it later,” he said, briefly staring down at her. There was a twinkle in his eye that told her he wasn’t just brushing her off. “Now, Bunnelby, would you mind me borrowing you for a second? I’m sure there’s a lot to discuss.”

Nickit cleared her throat loudly, gaining the attention of the room.

“After Nickit has finished, of course,” Ampharos added, bowing respectfully.

“Come on,” Nickit said, waving her tail towards the hall in gesture. “The sooner this is done, the sooner you all get to run free.”

~\({O})/~

Expedition Society Observatory

~Bunnelby~​

“And how did the mission go?” asked Mawile, who stood next to one of the many cluttered objects in the observatory with her arms folded. The observatory was the most secluded room in the Society right now, aside from the cramped shelves of Mawile’s office. It would not fit three pokemon neatly. Somewhere near the back, Jirachi was still dozing off—Either Nickit hadn’t given him a new batch of remedies yet, or he hadn’t remembered to take his today.

“It went poorly,” said Bunnelby. That really was the only way to describe it. “There were a lot of complications on this mission; I didn’t get to the anchorstone. And I should say… none of those complications were ordinary.”

“Out of the ordinary?” asked Ampharos, who had his back against an old desk sitting around the place. He must have been wearing his green cloak for the sake of wearing it. “How would you say?”

“Well…” Bunnelby began, with a weary sigh that sounded 30 years older than he was. “How much stock do you put in stories of the dungeon wraith?”

Mawile took a second to consider it.

“I would say there are grains of truth to everything,” she said. “Even folk legends.”

“Inside the Sands of Time…” Bunnelby began. “To cut straight to the chase, we saw it. In the fog, it was there. It commanded one of those things you showed in your briefing. It tried to get rid of us.”

“And you said this anomaly was inside the dungeon?” Mawile asked with vested interest. Bunnelby thought she sounded way too excited for something that held as much weight as it did. “And that the wraith interacted with it?”

“Yes,” Bunnelby. “Exactly like that. And that’s not all. Back in the city, there were these beheeyem. Three of them, going by what those kids said. They caused a lot of messes around town. Blew up the police station. They were coming after those two kids out there; they said that’s why they stowed away on the boat.”

“There were similar sightings a few days ago at Spinda’s Café downtown…” Ampharos mused.

“You saw this?” asked Mawile. Bunnelby shook his head.

“Not directly. But I saw the evidence. It’s like they—and that anomaly in the dungeon—were… waiting for us. They knew we were coming, and they set a trap. And somehow, all of it was connected to those two kids.”

Ampharos held his paw to his chin, silently musing over it all.

“Thank you for your briefing,” he said. “You’re dismissed.”

Bunnelby nodded and began to trudge towards the stairs with a certain weariness. After three days of travelling and near-death encounters, he was happy just to be back home.

Once he was gone, Mawile and Ampharos were suddenly a lot less relaxed.

“More complications to a sticky situation,” Ampharos sighed.

“I advise you talk to them,” Mawile said. “Tonight.”

“The children?” asked Ampharos.

“Of course not,” Mawile replied wryly. “The dungeon wraith.”

“Point taken,” Ampharos said, pushing himself off the desk. “If everything is as Bunnelby said, we cannot afford to wait much longer.”

Mawile walked forward, setting the dusty old book she’d been combing lately on the desk Ampharos leaned against.

“The Dungeon Wraith…” she trailed off. “There’s nothing about it in any book except old legends and folklore. To see it now… this could mean a major advancement in the way we see dungeons. I’ll have to ask for sketches of how it looked.”

“And yet it commands the creatures we’re fighting,” said Ampharos. “This is more sinister than a mere discovery.”

“Your meaning?” asked Mawile.

“It means…” he said, beginning to leave for the observatory stairs. “That we are in need of a Human Savior more than ever.”

~\({O})/~

Expedition Society Grounds

~Espurr and Tricky~​

Espurr and Tricky weren’t injured like Bunnelby was, so Nickit had let them off first. That left the two of them to wander throughout the building, which was eerily quiet. The tall halls seemed to stretch onwards and onwards, continuing in a curve that took forever to go through at the pace they were walking. Every wall was purple, with yellow sills on the lofty rounded windows, and decorative furniture that was a similar shade of lavender—just with gold knobs and trimmings. The floor was made of smooth, hard flooring that was a golden brown and a lighter cream, stretching the length of the hall in stripes. All of it seemed too clean to be properly lived in, too orderly. But then, this wasn’t a house to be lived in. It was a guild, open for business. Everything had to look picture perfect.

They passed the kitchen at some point. The entrance was open but completely obscured by steam, making it impossible to tell what was going on within. Espurr and Tricky both cringed slightly, listening to the sounds that were coming from inside the room. Lots of pots and pans were crashing, accompanied by feral growls and hisses, running water, and the sound of something sizzling.

“What’s… going on in there?” Tricky questioned, her ears flopped down.

“I think that’s somemon cooking,” Espurr said, just as taken aback.

“Pops never sounds like that when he cooks…” replied Tricky.

Something in there squawked and flapped. It sounded alive, and also like it wasn’t going to be alive much longer. When a maniacal laugh belted out from inside the room, Espurr and Tricky both booked it.

By way of luck, after the kitchen came the entrance lobby again. Espurr and Tricky decided not to take any more random detours around the building anymore, instead taking a moment to lounge around in the building’s serene emptiness.

“Do you think we could go?” asked Espurr, as they sat on the steps of the stairway. The afternoon light cast the lobby into a golden glow, coming in through vast windows and large double doors open for business. A cool breeze blew through the room, smelling of sea and softly ruffling Espurr and Tricky’s fur.

“Go?” Tricky asked.

“Leave,” Espurr said. “The doors are right over there. Now that the Beheeyem are locked up, there’s no reason to run, right? We could go back to the village.”

“And get grounded by Pops?” Tricky blurted out. “No way!”

“Didn’t you say you missed home a couple of days ago?” Espurr asked.

“I do miss it,” said Tricky. She stood up straighter, and Espurr felt an amber glow from her. “I wish Pops could see me. And Deerling. And then I’d get to laugh at Pancham, because he said I’d never make it.”

“Then why don’t we go back?”

“Well…” Tricky began, pawing the stairway. “If we went back, we’d have to tell everymon we gave up. And we’d never get to do this again. Pops wouldn’t let me out of his sight, and Audino would kill you! And then… we’d have to deal with Watchog.”

“Good point,” Espurr said. “I could deal with anything but Watchog.”

Watchog wasn’t around to tell them it was Vice Principal Watchog. They could call him whatever they wanted. That felt good.

“See?” Tricky said. “I knew you’d get it.”

“This place just feels strange,” said Espurr. “Everything is so weird here.”

“You’re right,” said Tricky. “The purple is yucky. But…”

She trailed off.

“I’m thinking of it as an adventure. We’re explorers. We can’t just stay holed up in a house our whole lives—discovering weird things is what we do! And as long as we have each other, then… maybe we can brave the weird. We can make this place home.”

Espurr just folded her arms and leaned back against the step above them. Tricky had an optimism it was hard for her to feel, no matter how she wanted to feel it.

Maybe she could, if she knew this place was as it seemed.

“You know they aren’t being honest with us,” she said. “Do you think we’re safe here?”

“I think if they wanted to hurt us, they would’ve done it already,” said Tricky. “If Ampharos wanted us out of the way, then why didn’t he just let the Beheeyem do it?”

“Because he has other plans for us,” Espurr replied. “I heard him say it.”

“Then why don’t you just ask him?”

“What?”

“I said…” Tricky began. “Why don’t you just ask him?”

“Because he might lie,” said Espurr. “Or he might be evil.”

“But he might tell you the truth,” Tricky stressed. “You never asked.”

They sat there a minute longer, letting a gust of the outside breeze blow over them. Espurr didn’t say it, but Tricky had a point. What was there to lose by talking to Ampharos?

“I’ll ask him tonight,” said Espurr. “But if he lies, or turns out to be evil, we go back to the village. Does that sound okay?”

“If he’s evil, I guess…” Tricky said.

The silence afterwards was punctuated only by the distant sounds of the town and the blowing of the wind.

Swirlix served cooked meat sandwiches and a large salad that night. Everymon at the Expedition Society’s large table ate heartily, but after what had happened in the kitchen earlier, Espurr and Tricky suddenly found they had lost their appetite for meat.

“You two okay?” Buizel asked, cocking an eyebrow in confusion at Espurr and Tricky gingerly picking the meat out of their sandwiches.

“We’re okay,” Espurr answered. Tricky beside her nodded quick as a blur. “We’re just… not big meat eaters.”

The look on Tricky’s face said she didn’t agree with that, but at the same time she wasn’t going to touch the meat either.

Buizel shrugged. “Eh. Well pass it here if you don’t want it. ”

Espurr and Tricky gingerly slid the meat over, letting Buizel lop it all onto his plate. He took Bunnelby’s unwanted lettuce too.

“You two were near the kitchen, huh.”

The two of them looked over to see Nickit, who was sitting next to them. She was idly munching on something from her plate, though she didn’t seem to like the vegetables much.

“You know what’s going on in there?” Espurr asked.

“I’ve stopped questioning it,” Nickit said. “Swirlix is…”

They both looked at Swirlix on the far side of the table, who no-mon wanted to sit next to. She was a very messy eater.

“Swirlix,” Nickit finished. “But hey, slip me your meat next if you don’t want it. It’s the only good thing in this sandwich.”

~\({O})/~​

After dinner had concluded, Espurr and Tricky slunk away from the lit dining room and back into the much darker, quieter halls. Before they could slip away completely, though, a tall shadow filled their vision, blocking out the yellow-orange light. Looking behind them, Espurr and Tricky saw that Ampharos was standing in the dining room entrance.

“If you could be so kind as to lend me a moment of your time,” Ampharos began, walking the rest of the way forward. He addressed Espurr specifically. “We have much to discuss up in my office.”

Espurr and Tricky traded uneasy looks.

“Me… and not Tricky?” Espurr asked.

“You alone, I’m afraid,” said Ampharos. “But not to worry. This should be no more than ten minutes. I couldn’t bear to keep the two of you separated much longer.”

Espurr didn’t like the idea. But if it came to it… she could hold her own. She stepped forward.

“Alright,” she said. “If it’s only ten minutes.”

“Excellent!” exclaimed Ampharos. He began to walk for the lobby, where the doors were now closed and the grand staircase sat. “Follow me.”

The second floor of the Expedition Society was a place that Espurr had seldom been before. It was a lot darker than the first, and smaller too. Unlike the massive lobby and halls at the bottom of the first floor, the second seemed to branch off into several rooms and narrow hallways that she could see the ends of. It felt smaller, quieter, darker. Ampharos led Espurr through the large, weirdly empty chamber—hadn’t this place had some sort of camera projector?—and towards a door on the right-hand side of the room. He opened it wide, standing aside to allow Espurr to pass. Espurr quietly walked in.

One way or another, she figured, she’d find out what the Expedition Society was all about here.

The office was smaller, and well-lit compared to the outside. Ampharos walked in behind her. The door shut. Her line of potential escape narrowed.

“Sit,” he said, gesturing towards a reddish-brown cushion that lay on the floor. Espurr took a seat. Ampharos leaned against his desk, letting his lantern tail curl in front of him. His green cape furled behind him and nearly touched the ground.

“Allow me to cut to the chase,” Ampharos said. “It has come to my attention that you and your fennekin friend chose to stowaway to the Sand Continent…”

Here it came. Espurr tried to keep a straight face. She wasn’t going to enjoy explaining this.

“…Because you were being pursued.”

That caught Espurr off-guard. Ampharos grabbed a newspaper off the desk, and held it out. “The headline of this newspaper might interest you. Take a read.”

Espurr got up from her seat, slowly walked over, and took it out of Ampharos’ paw. The article detailed an incident at Spinda’s, in which the entire storefront had been destroyed due to three…

“Beheeyem,” she found herself muttering aloud.

“Indeed,” said Ampharos. “The same beheeyem that, as you might recall, attacked you two on that mountain pass all those days ago. In fact…”

He paused, waiting for Espurr to finish with the newspaper.

“Something tells me that you two were running here from the beheeyem,” he finished. There was that glint in his eye again, the one that told Espurr he knew more than he let on, and was only now letting it show. “Tell me, am I on the right track?”

“What makes you think that?” Espurr asked. “That’s a lot of conjecture.”

“Educated conjecture,” said Ampharos, “Two and two come together naturally when you look at the behavior patterns of the past few days! You did, however,” he gave her a look that said he hadn’t skipped the beat she’d hoped for one second, “dodge the question.”

Espurr sighed through gritted teeth.

“Fine,” she said. “You’re on the right track.”

“How much, would you say?”

“Completely.”

“Then that clears up a lot!” said Ampharos cheerily. “My only question is why you didn’t come to me before acting on your own.” His tone lost that airiness, drifting off to something more down-to-earth. “We could have prevented a lot of damage and debacle if you’d just asked for help.”

His words were disarming, but Espurr knew better. Why hadn’t she come to him for help? Because he wasn’t being honest with her. Because he knew more than he was letting on, and she didn’t know his intentions.

“Because I can’t trust you,” said Espurr.

“Hmm,” hmmed Ampharos. “Why would that be?”

“Because it’s too convenient,” Espurr replied. “Every time we meet you, you’re always in the right place to prevent something or make something happen. You always know more than you should. That means you know what’s happening, and you want a specific outcome.”

“Correctamundo,” said Ampharos. Espurr’s eyes widened in surprised, then imperceptibly narrowed. So he admitted it. Now what?

“What does that mean?” she asked, tensing to spring where she was sure he couldn’t see. If she had to run, she might have to blow the door off its hinges. She was prepared to do it.

“It means you are absolutely right,” Ampharos clarified. His cheeriness was back. It confused Espurr.

“So explain,” she replied, trying to keep her voice stable and calm. She couldn’t let her inner jitters betray her confidence, not here.

“Do you know why I took my trip to Serenity Village?” Ampharos asked.

“You were looking for something,” was the conclusion Espurr immediately came to.

“Indeed. I was looking for somemon very important. Somemon not from this world, but brought here to save it. I was looking for a Human.” Ampharos swished his cape back, and leaned against the desk once again. “And I believe that I found one.”

Only then did Espurr connect the two dots. This explained… everything about him.

“So you think I’m the human,” she said.

“Correctamundo once more,” said Ampharos.

“That still doesn’t explain why you were looking for me.”

“Ah, but that should be the clear part,” Ampharos sang. “You are aware of the significance of the term?”

Espurr did. Ampharos was dancing rings around her, she knew, and it was all she could do to stay standing.

“I am,” she said.

Ampharos pulled out the chair from behind his desk, and sat on it. A dead serious expression sat on his face, and everything airy or joyous about him had fallen away.

“I know you’ve seen by now the dark forces that are creeping in from the corners,” he said. “I think you know a lot more about those forces than one might tell at first glance. And I need you to know that while you are under this roof, no harm shall come to either you or Tricky.”

He scooted the chair a bit closer, until there was only a little space between himself and Espurr.

“Those dark forces out there have fixated on you,” he continued, “and that is because you and your partner are very important pokemon. The beheeyem and the anomalies will keep coming, perhaps for us all in the end. It is the hope of myself and the Expedition Society that when they come, you are ready for them. We can help you. We can train you to fight, teach you what we know, offer you protection from pokemon like the Beheeyem. But only if you can confide in us.”

He leaned forward.

“I won’t ask for your trust in a night, but I will ask for your honesty. Can you give me that?”

Espurr thought for a moment.

“If you want my honesty, then you’ll have to be honest with me,” she said.

“Then I think we have a deal!” said Ampharos, and suddenly it was like he was back to his normal cheery self again. Espurr truly didn’t understand him.

~\({O})/~​

Ampharos was true to his word. Not even ten minutes later, Espurr exited the office, walking out into the halls on her own. The light of Ampharos’ office disappeared as the door shut behind her, leaving her in a moonlit chamber that led to darkened stairs and hallways.

She still wasn’t sure what to think of it all, as she hopped down the stairs into the lobby and took the hallway to her right that led into the residential dorms. The halls still felt unfamiliar to walk in, too large and clean and silent. But Serenity Village had felt like that once too, and she had made that place her home. Why couldn’t this become familiar as well?

The door to the room Espurr and Tricky shared was six rooms over from the hall’s entrance to the lobby, with another five to go after that. Espurr pushed aside the curtains that hang over the room’s entrance, trotting over to the nest that was her bed and flopping down on it. It hadn’t been used in a while and she could tell; it smelled like it had been recently cleaned too.

Espurr just laid down on her side, and stared up at the moon through the window. She’d spent a lot of the morning resting, and she felt awake now. Too awake to sleep, and too muddled to think properly on everything she’d been given to think about today.

“Espurr?”

Tricky’s voice from the other side of the room made Espurr look up. She saw the fennekin nestled within her own nest bed, in a similar state of awakeness.

“Right here,” Espurr said.

“What did he say?” Tricky asked.

“He knew,” Espurr said. “He knew everything the whole time. He was just waiting for us to notice.”

“Everything everything?” Tricky asked. Espurr nodded.

“Well then, what does he want with us?”

“He said he knew there was a Human out there and that he was looking for one.” The explanation came suddenly, more coherent than Espurr expected. She was still analyzing everything he’d said, looking for any possible flaws or double meanings. “He knows about the monsters. He wants to train us to fight them.”

She was surprised when instead of being in a similar state of confusion as herself, Tricky’s eyes suddenly bulged wide.

“Holy mystery dungeon!” she exclaimed aloud. “Do you know what this means?!”

“What?” Espurr asked.

“We’re the next famous team!” she squealed with delight. “Those ones in the history books I showed you! We’re gonna… we’re gonna save the world and then everymon is going to know our names and write about us!”

Espurr didn’t seem nearly as excited. Tricky noticed after a minute, quitting her outburst and calming down to look at Espurr.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“If we’re going to be the next world-famous team,” Espurr began, “then that means the world needs saving.”

“It’s nothing we can’t handle,” said Tricky. “We came this far, right?”

It was true. They had come this far, despite all the pokemon and obstacles and monsters that stood in their way. And if the monsters were going to come for them anyway, then maybe it was time to stop running and face them head-on. Ampharos had made them a promise, and if he could make good on it, then she could at least hold up her end of the bargain. With all the risks she’d been taking lately, what was another?

“Right,” Espurr said. It sounded more confident than she had felt in a week.

~\({O})/~

HAPPI Barracks ~ Pokemon Paradise

~Zoroark-as-Braixen~​

It had been a few days since Zoroark’s theft from the archive, and so far it looked like he could hope against hope. A search had been conducted of the building, and the pokemon in charge hadn’t found anything. He was currently laying low, making sure there was no reason to suspect the lilac-furred braixen who had applied just a week ago. It was extra lucky that Amadeus hadn’t asked him to get anything in that time.

Things between him and his partner were still icy. Zoroark wasn’t sure how to bridge the gap there, so he’d mostly been sticking at arm’s length. He stayed in the background for the missions they took, making sure not to get in the way too much and stay out of the spotlight. It worked towards his agenda—the less notable he looked, the better. But it made the nights uncomfortable and uncertain, and he was feeling less and less like this was somewhere he could stay. He’d come here to be happy and find a home, so… why was he here instead, fearing for his life? Wasn’t this supposed to be the greatest pokemon-built city of all time?

The sun had already set, leaving only the moon to light thousands of purple roofs; some on stilts, some on the ground, some attached to towers that looked like they might fall at any moment. Zoroark often slept near the window in their room just to get a good view of the moon as he drifted off. That, and if he had to get away in a hurry and the door wasn’t an option, the window was his next best bet. He didn’t like thinking like that, but in a city like this it had become second nature after a few weeks.

But as he walked in, he noticed that Alice was sitting there this time. She didn’t move or make any notion to acknowledge that he’d walked in; she was just perched near the window and looking up at the moonlight. Not sure what else to make of it, Zoroark-as-Braixen walked over and sat down next to her.

She didn’t acknowledge him that time either. They both just sat there, staring up at the large moon.

“Do you like living here?” Zoroark-as-Braixen broke the silence.

“Do I what?”

It was curt. She didn’t even look over at him.

“Do you like living here?” Zoroark-as-Braixen asked again. “Working for HAPPI, all the cafeteria food, the teammates…”

Alice scoffed.

“Of course not. Do you know anymon who likes working for HAPPI?”

Zoroark-as-Braixen shook his head. “No. But if you don’t like working for them, why not leave?”

“Let me ask you a question,” said Alice. “Why did you sign up for HAPPI?”

“…To get a warm bed,” Zoroark-as-Braixen admitted.

“Well there you go,” Alice said. “The winter is cold here. Housing’s expensive. HAPPI offers board and lodging; it’s the only job in this city that does. It’s a no brainer.”

They sat in silence for a moment longer; Zoroark didn’t know where to continue. But Alice continued in his wake.

“Eventually, if you make enough money, you can quit this job and set yourself up with a bakery or something. But when HAPPI taxes everything you earn and the payouts aren’t enough anyway, you won’t get anywhere. You’re just stuck. Living in these barracks and eating the stale cafeteria food and working too hard to even think about quitting and finding something else. It’s a trap.”

She sighed and let her fish tail flop back down.

“I miss when I got to be on one of the exchange teams.”

Zoroark hadn’t heard of that.

“You were on an exchange team?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Alice, and all of the sudden she was intently not staring at him. “Team Cobalt. We were freelancing investigators; we assisted with cleanups after other teams did their thing, hunted down wandering outlaws, took notes whenever somemon went missing, that kind of thing. We got to travel everywhere.”

“Sounds nice,” Zoroark said. It did, better than the frosty wind and rickety buildings here.

“It was,” Vaporeon said.

“So why did you stop?” he asked.

“Because…”

There was a long pause.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Zoroark said, filling the silence.

“I had a partner,” Alice said. “He’s not… around anymore. This city reminds me of him the least.”

And you remind me of him the most.

“Oh…” said Zoroark-as-Braixen.

“So that’s why I came back here,” Alice said, with a pointed look towards Zoroark-as-Braixen. “Despite the leaning towers and the cold winters and the cafeteria food and how much of a nightmare this place is.”

Silence stood between them again. This time, the divide felt as large as the moon.

“So what about you?” Alice asked. The break in silence was sudden; Zoroark hadn’t been expecting that. “What are you doing here?”

Instantly, Zoroark was deliberating how much he wanted to tell. But then, she’d been honest with him, so…

“I lived on a boat out at sea,” he said, repeating the bare essentials. “Me and my b… the pokemon I lived with drifted between continents a lot. Then it sank. He went down with it. I didn’t. I washed up in Noe Town and couldn’t pay the boat fare off the continent, so I wandered up here and joined HAPPI for a bed and lodging.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Don’t be.” The words tumbled out of Zoroark’s mouth before he fully knew what he was saying. “I didn’t like him much.”

More silence. The air felt awkward.

“You should go somewhere else.” Zoroark-as-Braixen looked up at Alice’s words. She was staring up at the moonlight once more, her face somber.

“Why’s that?” he asked.

“If you’re looking for a home, you don’t come to Paradise to find it,” Alice said. “HAPPI will become your life if you let it, but any home you make is going to be in spite of all this,” she said, gesturing up at the buildings outside the window with her ear fins. “I say save up your spare change, turn in your scarf and badge, and leave while you still can. Go somewhere else, pay that boat fare, go do something fulfilling with your life. Just don’t stay here. That’s my advice to you, ‘partner’.”

She stood up, stretched, yawned, and began to pad over to the pile of crumpled cloth that was her bed on the other side of the room. Zoroark-as-Braixen watched walk over, then pulled over his own pile of cloth from next to where Alice had been sitting and laid down on his side.

Find a new home… that stuck with him, even after he’d drifted off to sleep watching the leaning towers creak in the wind. Because more and more, this place was feeling less and less to him like home.

~\({O})/~​

Music of the Week!

Rebuilding the Fleet/Roslin Confesses – Bear McCreary

 

[Sinderella]

Hiiiii Espy! Trucking along with my end of our review exchange--a little slower than I intended but I'll get it done soon! I'm here for chapters 3 and 4, and will be back around with 5-8 later on.

OKAY so chapter 3 was quite interesting! We're introduced to some new characters--Mawile and Archen--presumably members of another adventuring team on their way to investigate a happening in the Square. I think you do a good job of building up to the discovery that something is quite wrong over there--from the interaction that they have with the Kecleon, and how naturally it comes up between all three of them that there is definitely a problem afoot. Not sure what kind of problem, but definitely a problem. Even though we just met them, I actually really like them, especially Mawile (not that I'm biased toward Mawile or anything luuuuuul) but I generaly think she's just an INTERESTING character. How she uses Chesto berries to keep herself awake for most of the week? Even though they kinda sorta taste bad to her? She is the workaholic I've always aspired to be LOL.

I really liked the ending of chapter 3 too. I audibly gasped when they discovered the Lucario. Like...is Medusa out and about causing problems??? Holy hell. And who the hell attacked them??? I must say, that battle WAS written very well; super action packed, and I could keep up with what was happening, and could even picture it in my head pretty well. Nicely done, fam! There generally seems to be a lot of threads that are being presented in these chapters, and I am wondering how they might end up all coming together. Judging by how Ampharos--who is clearly in kahoots with Mawile and Archen--is looking for the Human, who I guess is PROBABLY Espurr, I am guessing that shit is gonna hit the fan sooner rather than later? I'm hype as FUCK boi.

Chapter 4 was a little harder for me to keep up with because I had a hard time figuring out what the central idea of it was--we get the reveal of what Ampharos is up to and how he's connected to Mawile and Archen, we get Espurr's dream, then we get Espurr being tutored by a NOT tutor (janitor????), Espurr learning how to use a new move, then getting kinda harassed by Pancham until she's essentially peer pressured into doing something dumb down in the mines, and THEN actually heading to the mines and getting away from Watchog and these poor anxious drillbur. All in all, there was just a lot happening and it was somewhat difficult to keep up with because I didn't know what to focus on. All of these bits alone were pretty good. I loved the idea of Espurr having to be tutored in Unown alphabet, though I didn't quite follow the emphasis on who her new tutor was--is he gonna be important to the story? I guess only time will tell. I also really liked the scene of her in class with Audino as they went through how to make the medicinal berry concoctions--veeerrrrrry stellar worldbuilding there, I was obsessed with that lecture, omg. I was also a real fan of the idea of Espurr trying to work on her psychic abilities (I think that's what she was doing at least), and I was also a fan of bad-boy Pancham showing up and trying to be the cool guy and peer pressure them into doing something stupid (successfully so, unfortunately). However, all of these elements in one chapter kind of made for a jumble and I wasn't sure where it was supposed to be headed, or what it did to propel the story forward, if that makes sense at all.

I also think that the general story POV could be worked on a little bit. I know we're generally viewing this story from multiple POV's, which is absolutely fabulous. However, it's a little jarring when I go into a section labelled "Espurr" and am suddenly head hopping to Watchog's POV, because I'm under the assumption that that portion is supposed to be from Espurr's POV, ya feel? I could understand if it's meant to be third-person omniscient, but a lot of the times it seems like you're staring in third-person limited based on whoever the header mentions, and will suddenly jump ship to somebody else's shoulder mid-sentence (i.e. there was a sentence where Tricky made a noise, and in that sentence it was mentioned that her Pops heard it all the way down the hall). Generally speaking, I think you need to tighten up on your perspective a little--are we omniscient, or limited? I could see a world where you're both depending on WHO the focus is on, but then you need to stick to that throughout the section or chapter, instead of switching on and off between paragraphs.

All that being said, I'm getting the vibe that I haven't even scratched the surface of what's to come (obviously, you're like 40 chaps into this story!!!) and I am quaking to see how everything just crumbles. I'll be back <3333

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, back giving this series a bump sooner than I thought for offsite V-Wheel, so let’s get right into things, since last I left off in this story, things were getting really interesting:

Chapter 21

There once was a crooked man

Who walked a crooked mile

He found a crooked sixpence

Against a crooked stile

He bought a crooked cat

Which caught a crooked mouse

And they all lived together underneath​

Wait, is that the story of the Crooked House in-setting? Or is that an homage to some sort of poem or something?

The Crooked House stood on its island of evil, pointing up out of the ground like a pillar of darkness. It was obscured near completely by fog now, a silhouette in the moonlight. Espurr ran down the pathway, sliding to a stop right outside the entrance to the bridge. She saw that the previously sealed doors now lay wide open.

Something had changed. And she was right.

By now, the rest of the children had arrived, panting in exhaustion as they caught up with Espurr. They all eyed the Barrow with a sense of apprehension. They were never supposed to come here.

“We have to go… in there?” Tricky squeaked in fear, looking at the house. She never went here, and for good reason.

Tricky: "... Espurr, I just want to remind you that it's the middle of the night and we just got ambushed by a freaky black monster thing with more spikes than a Quilfish. Are we sure this is a good idea?"

Espurr: "No, but going home and pretending said freaky black monster doesn't exist is a terrible idea too, so let's just do this."

“This is where it went,” Espurr said, slowly but firmly. “If we want to rescue Vice Principal Watchog, then we have to go in.”

She stepped forward onto the bridge, which creaked under her, then looked back at the rest of the children. The looks on their faces ranged from doubtful to fearful, but no-mon voiced any objections. Espurr took another step, then hurried across the bridge, making sure to avoid all the rotting spots.

>"come to me"

Pancham: "... I just want to say that I'm suddenly feeling like I could live without dungeoneering classes at school." O.O
Espurr: "Pancham, we're saving Watchog, okay?" >_>;

The island was muddy, as always. Espurr trudged across it without complaint, even though the mud felt gross stuck to her fur. As she approached the Barrow, she caught wind of a familiar scent—one that had often danced around her nose, and was never more pleasant to smell no matter how many times she smelled it—this was the scent of a mystery dungeon. And it was stronger than ever.

Espurr stepped onto the Barrow’s porch, then looked back at the rest of the children who had just crossed over the bridge and were now uncomfortably trudging through the mud. She shouldered her bag.

“It’s a mystery dungeon,” she said loudly from the porch. “Heads up.”

“Are you sure about this?” Pancham asked, looking up at her warily.

“Positive.” Espurr nodded.

... I actually didn't pick up on the whole "smelling a mystery dungeon" thing being something only Espurr could pick up on. Or at least out of her immediate friend circle. Is that a psychic abilities thing of hers?

“T-the place smells evil,” Goomy said in fear. “All mystery dungeons smell like that,” Tricky added in a hushed voice.

Oh, never mind then. They can smell it too. Not sure how I forgot about that one.

“Are we going or not?” Shelmet asked, perhaps the only one of them that wasn’t openly frightened out of his wits.

... Somehow, I always saw Shelmet as the more cowardly one of his duo. Especially with the way that interaction with Tricky earlier played out. Though I guess being literally encased in armor helps with being a bit less on-edge.

“Yeah,” Pancham said, rolling his shoulders and stretching his slingshot. “Let’s do this.”

“All at once,” Espurr said, turning towards the entrance. “Otherwise we’ll get separated.”

Soon they were all gathered on the porch, standing in a row.

“On three,” Deerling said, unable to keep the waver out of her voice. “One… Two…” Espurr could feel Pancham trembling.

“Three!”

They all stepped in through the doors at once, and slowly, the mystery dungeon closed up behind them.

Just like all the mystery dungeons she had entered, Espurr felt all drafts dissipate upon entry. This dungeon was windless like all the others, but evil reverberated in the air.

“What is this place…” Tricky whimpered.

Espurr: "... A Mystery Dungeon?"

Tricky: "Espurr, Mystery Dungeons don't normally feel like this!"

The halls were narrow and cramped, and sticky black goo covered them from top to bottom. The floors were a stream of swamp water, and the roof extended into crooked black arches above. It wasn’t an earthly place. And yet, there was nothing to do but press onwards. And so, without a word exchanged between them, the six of them silently continued through the waterlogged halls.

Uh... yeah, I'd be freaking out too.

The dungeon was devoid of any ferals; Espurr, Tricky, and the rest of them were left well alone. But there was no sign of Watchog either.

“How long is this dungeon?” Deerling asked after a while. “You’d think we’d be on the third floor by now.”

But they hadn’t even crossed the first stairway yet. They’d gone a while without seeing anything but gooey black walls and trudging through nasty swamp water, and still there was no hint of the stairs. The areas were getting more and more mazelike as they continued, and they’d gone down several dead ends at this point. Espurr was beginning to get doubtful they’d make it out before dawn. And that wasn’t good.

Sure is a great thing you all just ran straight into the dungeon here without even trying to get any adults to help you, huh? :V

It was after the fifth dead end that something changed. It had just been for a second, but Espurr, Goomy, and everymon else had caught the shape of something quietly slinking around the corridor ahead.

“W-what w-w-was t-that?” Goomy asked, terrified. Espurr quietly shushed everymon. Slowly, they continued down the corridor, heading for the corner. Espurr carefully peeked around the edge, but she saw nothing.

“There’s nothing there,” she whispered to the rest of them. “It must have been a trick of the light.”

12 words spoken seconds from disaster.

No-mon looked particularly convinced, but it was the least scary option, so everymon went with that for the time being.

Espurr lead them further down the hallways, in search of the stairs. The lack of anything around unnerved her quite a bit. Why was there nothing here?

The only warning they had was a distant whoosh from up ahead. But that was enough for Espurr.

Tricky’s ears twitched. “Everymon duck!” she yelled, and they all ducked just in time to avoid the sight of a large, shadowy ball flying directly over their heads. It flew straight past them and exploded distantly at the other end of the corridor.

Yuuup, I had a feeling something like that would happen.

Goomy: "I-I thought you said there was nothing here!" O.O
Espurr: "I'm allowed to be wrong, okay?!" >.<

Just like that, the monster was already in front of them. Espurr wasn’t having it. She unleashed her raw mental power upon it and blew it back across the corridor. She was sure a fair few ‘mon screamed around that point.

“Run the other way!” Tricky yelled, and everymon made to do that—

“Wait!” Espurr yelled. “Don’t!”

“What do you mean ‘don’t’?” Deerling yelled, stopping for one brief moment. She was the only one.

Espurr quickly checked to make sure the monster was still down. “I have a plan,” she quickly hissed.

“The monster’s fast, but it can’t be in two places at once. If we split up into groups, it’ll have to choose. And then we attack it.”

Why do I get the feeling that if Espurr had her memories properly, she'd be screaming at herself about how terrible an idea this is? Since this just screams "I wanna live out a horror movie in real life"

“Great. You can be a group,” Deerling said. “I’m going the other way.”

And with that she galloped off, following the rest of them. Espurr was left all alone in the corridor. She steeled herself, even though it was taking every ounce of her bravery to remain in place.

- Espurr looks around all on her lonesome -
Espurr: "Tricky, are you serious?" >.< - Distantly -
Tricky: "Sorry, Espurr! But there's safety in numbers!" O_O;

Though that's some quality teamwork right there. :V

“Hey! I found the stairs! Everymon this way!” Shelmet’s voice echoed across the corridor and caught Espurr’s ears. She looked at the creature, which was silently pulling itself up from the ground. She watched in horror as instead of attacking her, it stepped towards the wall and slowly began to sink into it.

That was the last straw. Espurr turned around and ran for her life.

Espurr: "I swear, if we all get out of here alive, we all need to have a talk about this 'teamwork' thing." >_>;
Deerling: "Have you considered coming up with plans that more than one 'mon thinks is a good idea?"

The monster was fast. A pair of clawed arms suddenly shot out of the wall goo to grab Espurr—

Espurr rolled to the ground, barely avoiding being snatched up by them. The clawed hands receded back into the wall in her wake.

“Where’s Espurr?” Tricky’s voice echoed through the hallway from up ahead. Espurr pulled herself out of the swamp, choking and sputtering from all the swamp water she had gotten in her mouth. They were up ahead! She just needed to…

Espurr: "Tricky, how are you just noticing this now?!" >.<
Tricky: "I-I thought you were right behind us! I didn't know you were just going to stay with the monster for that long!" O_O;

The monster was behind her. Then in front of her. It exploded out of the wall, then grabbed her and lifted her up into the air. Espurr tried to repel the creature with her mind once more, but that previous blast had taken a lot out of her—she felt a headache coming on just from trying to start.

“Help!” she rasped, fighting against the monster as it pushed her towards its belly. A gaping hole opened up within the creature itself, and inside there was nothing but blackness, and Espurr was being forced towards it. She tried to push and escape, but the monster was just too strong this was the end wasn’t it she should have listened to Deerling and told somemon—

A brilliant burst of fire arched through the hallway and slammed against the creature’s back. It let out a loud, droning screech, dropping Espurr back down into the water as it writhed in pain. She’d take it. Espurr wasted no time getting to her feet and running past the creature before it could recover, closing the gap between herself and the rest of them.

Yeah, and this is why you don't pull one-mon stands in Mystery Dungeons, Espurr. Really lucked out with Tricky going back for you there.

Tricky had darted out of a small, left-hand passage just after where they had first caught sight of the monster. No wonder they hadn’t seen it. Espurr glanced back at the monster as she ran. The shrieking had stopped, but it wasn’t coming after her. She caught the last of it slowly absorbing itself into the goo on the wall. The monster’s black slime still covered Espurr’s fur where it had grabbed her. Was this where all that goo was from? She felt suddenly and oddly jittery.

Espurr:


Tricky: "For the record, you could've just. You know. Stayed in a group with us earlier." >_>;

Espurr slid to a stop, then splashed through the water and into the dead end. Everymon else stood by the stairs, glancing at her worriedly. Espurr took a moment to catch her breath, then quickly got to the rest of them as fast as possible. They led downwards, but the bottom was enveloped completely by darkness.

“All together,” Espurr panted, holding out her arms for the others to grab.

A gurgling noise suddenly erupted from right behind them. Everymon turned around to see that a black, gooey arm had erupted from the wall, and the rest of the monster was quickly following.

... On second thought, maybe staying in a group wouldn't have accomplished all that much after all.

“GO!” Deerling yelled, and everymon dashed for the stairway. The monster hissed, and Espurr heard several ‘mon scream. The monster lunged—

—But it was too late. Deerling hit the stairway first, followed by Pancham and Shelmet, then Tricky. Goomy barely avoided the monster’s lunge, but he was too slow and wasn’t going to make it! The stairs were already closing up by the time that Espurr reached the stairway. She quickly grabbed ahold of Goomy, but the stairs separated them just before the monster lunged again and they closed up.

Everything immediately went black.

Deerling: "I just want to remind everyone that I suggested we get the adults involved, but nooooo..." >_>;

Goomy slowly opened his eyes, and his body solidified back into its usual shape once more. Everything was quiet, and so was he. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. The scenery around him was…

Grassy and green. Goomy looked down at the roots he was currently on top of. This looked like…

This was the School Forest.

Narrator: "It's not really the School Forest."

Goomy slowly slimed backwards in fear. But it couldn’t be the School Forest. They had just been in the Ancient Barrow!

He looked around once more, taking in the gnarled root walls of the dungeon that were still sealing over. Sure enough, it was unmistakably the School Forest. But how had he gotten here? Had the Barrow somehow transported him here?

But there was no time to worry about that. If this was the School Forest, then soon there would be dungeon ‘mon. And Goomy knew he wasn’t fast enough to avoid them. He had to get somewhere safe, find the others, get back to the village!

Ah yes, doing that with a Goomy's speed and base stats on your own. Totally an idea that couldn't possibly go horribly wrong.

Goomy slimed down the hallway as fast as he could. Could he find the stairs? He glanced at each of the walls from left to right, but there were no openings between the gnarled roots of the labyrinth. There was nowhere to hide. So after looking behind him to make sure that he wasn’t being tailed by anything, Goomy continued into the next hallway.

The hallway led into split corridors that branched off in opposite directions. Goomy went down the right-hand one without question. Only then did he realize that he had not looked the other way before entering like he should have. A loud roar suddenly erupted behind Goomy, ricocheting down the hallway and battering him as it passed. It smelled of something rancid, even worse than Tricky’s breath!

How on earth does Carracosta let her get away with that?

And the worst part was when Goomy turned around, he saw the fog. It crept down the hallway towards him, its tendrils snaking out almost as if it were grabbing out for him. Goomy didn’t waste any more time gawking at it. He immediately began to slime down the hallway as fast as he could in the other direction.

Live view of Goomy:

Goomy was going as fast as he could, but the fog was faster. And even at Goomy’s top speeds he couldn’t outrun it. He frantically glanced around for a place to hide, a chance to get away, and then all of the sudden he saw it: the entrance to another corridor, not that far off! It was perfect! Filled with re-invigorated hope, Goomy quickly changed his course.

Goomy slimed around the corridor, evading the fog at the last minute. He watched as its tendrils spread out like a living being, feeling the ground and roots of the hallway around it before moving on. It did not spread into the hallway Goomy was in at all. Goomy stared at in in confusion. Fog wasn’t supposed to work like that…

Goomy: "... P-Pretty sure that's a really, really bad sign."

Another—softer—gust spread through the hallway, invading Goomy’s nose with that rancid smell again. He quickly looked around, then behind him. He saw more of the fog, engulfing the corridor behind him as well. And this time, there was no way out.

Another loud roar suddenly emerged from the fog. Goomy looked back to the previous corridor. That roar had come from inside the fog. There was something in there! Maybe it was a large feral. Maybe it was the mystery dungeon. Maybe it was the Dungeon Wraith… just its name was already sending chills down Goomy’s spine. He really hoped it wasn’t the Dungeon Wraith.

Goomy decided to focus on the situation at hand. He wasn’t going back down the corridor he’d come. Not after what he had heard. But soon he would be enveloped by the fog anyway…

Goomy took a deep breath and steadied his quivering goo. Then he bravely slimed into the encroaching fog ahead.

I'm pretty sure that was a really, really terrible idea, though in light of the circumstances, I'm admittedly not sure what else Goomy was supposed to do there.

Deerling slowly pulled herself to her feet amongst the swamp. All she saw were the cramped halls of the Barrow, but she was alone. She looked all around, trying to catch a glimpse of anymon, but no-mon was there. She was all alone.

“Guys?” Deerling called out. “Can anymon hear me?”

Deerling got no answer. She clip-clopped further from where she was standing, looking around in vain. “Is anymon out there?”

There was no answer.

Deerling: "... Guess that's a 'no'." ._.

Deerling suddenly heard the sound of somemon sniffling behind her. She turned around, and noticed a ‘mon all curled up in a pile—it was Tricky. Tricky was far from Deerling’s favorite person, but right now she was happy to see anymon. She quickly galloped up to Tricky, slowing down once she reached her. Only then did she notice that Tricky was crying. Deering sat down next to her.

“Are you… okay?” she asked. Just a week and a half ago she would never had dreamed of asking Tricky that. The words felt weird on her tongue.

Deerling: "I mean, you're really obviously not, but hey. Polite practice and all that." -_-;

Tricky didn’t answer with anything coherent. She just let out something that sounded in between a sob and a snort, and continued to silently bury her face in her tail. Deerling adjusted her position to become more comfortable.

“Well… talk to me when you’re ready. It’s not like we’re in a life or death situation or anything.”

Wow, rude.

Tricky wasn’t ready for a while. When she finally did speak, it was through a cracked and hoarse voice: “We lost him.”

“…What? What does that mean?” Deerling asked. She didn’t want to think about what that could mean.

“We lost him,” Tricky said louder. [ ]

“Who’s ‘him’?” Deerling pressed.

“Goomy.”

Deerling went cold.

“…What are you talking about?” she asked, barely able to muster up more than a whisper. Her [ ]

Maybe it's just me, but it might have merited showing more of the wheels turning in Tricky or Deerling's head in the first bracketed bit there. Also, your last paragraph cuts off abruptly at the time I read it as an unfinished sentence after "Her". If there's supposed to be something after it, it wasn’t there when I wrote up this review..

“He’s gone,” Tricky whined. “The Barrow separated all of us. It put us on different floors. There was fog on Goomy’s. He walked in, and… by the time we got to him, he…”

Tricky broke down into sobs after that, burying her face into her tail once more.

“It happened again,” she moaned. “I lost another friend…”

I'm... suddenly a lot more concerned for Deerling's well being, since I'm suddenly increasingly doubtful that this is really Tricky.

Deerling stood up in the swamp, suddenly feeling woozy. No. This wasn’t happening. Goomy wasn’t dead. Not him. Not him too. It all had to be some sort of trick, right?

But the facts didn’t lie. There was Tricky, right in front of her, and Goomy was nowhere to be found. And it was all because of…

Deerling ground her hooves into the mud under the swamp, trying not to collapse into tears like Tricky was. Her breath caught in her chest. She couldn’t cry now. They had to get out of here before another ‘mon died.

“Tricky,” she said, doing her absolute best to keep her not-sobs under control. “W-where are the others?”

Wow, so she does have a mental state other than "blame and harangue Tricky". Even if for once, it's not Tricky's fault. Not that I believe that this is really Tricky here.

“I… I don’t know,” Tricky sniffled. “I couldn’t find them.”

“Well, we need to,” said Deerling. She took a few deep breaths to keep herself steady before answering again: “We can’t let anymon else get k-killed.”

It was a minute, but Tricky slowly lifted herself off the ground to face Deerling. She drooped all over in sadness, but followed Deerling regardless.

Deerling’s sadness stewed and turned to rage as she walked. Her grief boiled and festered and turned into hate. Pure, unfiltered hate. Hate for that one pokemon who had been ultimately responsible for Goomy’s death. Hate for the one pokemon who had gotten them all into this mess into the first place.

Hate for Espurr.

Oh yeah, that's totally going to end well.

Pancham slowly picked himself up off the ground. He looked around, but couldn’t find his slingshot. Somehow he was back in the Village Square in broad daylight, but something felt off. Everymon was passing around him without even noticing. Pancham was confused.

“Hey,” he said to a passing swadloon. “The swadloon tromped off dully, not even paying him a glance. Pancham tilted his head. Okay. Well, swadloon were dewott-downers. Maybe somemon else. Instead he set his sights on a mudkip instead.

“Oy,” he said, attempting to get the mudkip’s attention. The mudkip didn’t notice him either. Pancham was left with his jaw hanging open. He couldn’t believe this! Why was no-mon paying attention to him? And why was he here in the first place? Wasn’t he supposed to be—

I see the creators of Pancham's simulation have gotten a bit lazy there. :V

Pancham was suddenly kicked to the side by a passing ursaring, who also didn’t notice him. He was now beginning to get scared. He dashed from villager to villager, attempting to get some sort of reaction, but none reacted. None even noticed he was there. Pancham was actively freaking out now. He was a ghost!

“Hey! Anymon? Is anymon out there? Somemon answer me!”

... Wait, does he literally see himself as a ghost here? Or is he meant to react along the lines that he's like a ghost? Since if he thinks he is a ghost... you probably want something to tip him off to this realization here, even if it's something as simple as "... Wait, I've read this in ghost stories before..."

Pancham turned at the sound of somemon yelling through the crowd. That was… Shelmet’s voice. Shelmet was here too! That was just what he needed. Shelmet would listen to him. Shelmet always listened, no matter what. Pancham began to charge towards the voice, pushing aside villagers who paid him no mind at all.

He found Shelmet in the area outside Hawlucha’s tent, which was deserted as always.

“Shelmet!” he cried, waving his arm. “I’m over here!”

There was no answer. Shelmet continued to mill around, looking for somemon who would hear his cries.

“It’s—it’s me!” Pancham cried. “Your friend Pancham! Answer me!!” Shelmet didn’t even hear him.

Not that this isn't super freaky to go through, but you could try... oh, I don't know... Writing something? :V

“Answer me…” Pancham pleaded, on the verge of tears.

“He can’t hear you.”

“Augh!” Pancham spun around, coming face to face with Espurr. She was missing her scarf and her bag, but stared at him with the same emotionless, slightly creepy stare she gave everymon else. He took the time to calm down for a minute before speaking.

>dat description
>after everything that happened in The Calm and the Storm

‘What do you mean?” he asked once his jitters had faded enough for him to properly form words.

“He can’t hear you. No-mon can. I’ve tried talking to all of them,” Espurr said, taking a cursory look around at all the villagers. “It’s a miracle we can even speak to each other.”

Pancham spent a minute trying to wrap his head around that. It lined up with what he had seen, sure, but still…

“How did we get here?” he asked, asking the question he should have asked a while back.

“I don’t know,” Espurr replied nonchalantly. “Something about the stairs… We didn’t all enter at the same time. That must have blown us all to different floors of the dungeon. I imagine this is a lower floor. And these…” Espurr nonchalantly tripped a passing pikachu, which fell face-first in to the ground, then picked itself up and continued walking like nothing had happened. “These aren’t real either. They’re just tricks of the house.”

Small typo there. Though I am very

about this 'Espurr', even if I feel the "tricks of the house" explanation is otherwise correct and explains a lot about what we've been seeing.

But… Pancham looked at Shelmet, who was still looking around helplessly. “What about Shelmet?”

“He’s a trick too,” Espurr said firmly. She grabbed his paw. “We have to find our way out of here so we can find the others. Like the real Shelmet.”

“Agh! Auggh!!” Shelmet cried, falling on his side. “They’re all over me! They’re—They’re—Somemon help me!!”

Pancham was torn, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Shelmet. Espurr tugged him by the arm.

“We’re on a clock,” she said. “You know what happens when pokemon stay in mystery dungeons too long.” She tugged on Pancham, and slowly—reluctantly—Pancham let himself get pulled away.

“No—Stop!! Help me!!” Pancham heard Shelmet cry one last time before Espurr briskly led him into the Café Connection.

I'm... not so convinced that that wasn't the real Shelmet there with that outro.

Might have made sense for a bit more description of Shelmet abruptly taking a turn for the worse and Pancham's reaction though, since somehow, I didn't get a good visualization for what was going on with Shelmet abruptly keeling over there.

The inside of the Café Connection looked like a dream. Everything after the entrance doors looked like it was trapped behind a mirage, and even as Pancham bumped up against one of the counter seats as Espurr pulled him along, it didn’t feel like anything was there. He never saw this many pokemon go in and out of the café anyway. All the patrons were scooping picturesque food out of the table and into thin air, and though their mouths opened to speak, Pancham heard nothing.

Espurr walked around the counter, where Kangaskhan was robotically arranging dishes and seashells in intricate, flowing, nonsensical patterns on the countertop, then pulled Pancham into the kitchens.

I'm reminded of that one Rick and Morty episode where Jerry gets stuck in the discount version of the Matrix right now. :V

Pancham: "Uh... Espurr?"

Espurr: "Dungeon tricks. Don't mind it."
Pancham: "Yeah, but are they supposed to be this transparent?"

Pancham had never known what the chef looked like, and he didn’t even see a chef in the kitchen. In fact, he didn’t even see half the kitchen. It tapered off into nothingness halfway through the room, seeping into the blackness like tendrils of reality reaching out into nothingness. And beyond its barriers, Pancham could see nothing. Espurr pulled him towards it anyway.

“Hey, where are you taking me?” Pancham asked, a bit agitated now. He tried to separate his paw from Espurr’s, but her grip was unnaturally strong. Too strong for him to pull out of.

“Beyond,” Espurr answered.

Yeah, I do not trust this 'Espurr'

She pulled him into the blackness, and slowly they walked on. Pancham couldn’t see what was under him, but it was completely smooth. Espurr pulled him along like he was just a stray feather floating in the wind, and soon he could barely see the Café Connection behind him. Maybe it wasn’t there anymore.

It was about five minutes of walking before Espurr said something.

“Look,” she said emotionlessly. “The stairs.”

Sure enough, there were the stairs, right ahead of them. Espurr dragged him over to them, then stopped. They led down into darkness; Pancham couldn’t see the bottom.

“You first.” Espurr pushed him forward to the foot of the stairs.

Cue the General Akbar reaction image in about 5 seconds. P

ancham: "... I know that you have those creepy eyes, but were you always this monotone?"

Espurr: "Yes. Now take the stairs."

Pancham looked back. “Aren’t we all supposed to go at the same time?”

“Maybe that doesn’t apply here,” Espurr answered coldly. Her voice had a sudden chill Pancham hadn’t detected before.

“Wasn’t that what got us into this mess in the first place?” Pancham asked.

Espurr pushed him.

Pancham had no time to react. He fell down the stairs, letting out a scream of surprise as he rolled and tumbled down the stairs—

—And he kept tumbling. Down, down and further, until he landed on the cold, hard stone ground that lay at the bottom of the stairs. Pancham picked himself up, coughing. He looked around. The place looked like a prison cell, just without the bars. It was a perfect box made completely of cobbled stone, and the only openings were for two sets of stairs—one on each side of the room. Pancham looked at the one that led further downward. What that led to, he didn’t know. And he was loath to find out. A more dangerous dungeon? Something worse? Nothing at all? The decision wasn’t hard to make. Pancham turned around, and headed all the way back up.

Yeah, I called it.

[The stairs kept stretching onwards, and Pancham felt like he’d been climbing for a while. He was beginning to get tuckered out.]

“Espurr?” he called out, his voice echoing up the stairs. It sounded scared, pitiful. He tried to sound stronger. “Shelmet!? Anymon??”

No-mon answered his calls, except for his own echoes that reverberated through what sounded… and looked, like a chamber ahead. He was getting somewhere! Filled with new hope, Pancham continued to climb. Soon he emerged into a room. It was the same room that he had been trying to escape from in the first place. Pancham blanched. No, That didn’t make sense. Stairways didn’t work like that. Maybe if he... Pancham ran over to the other entrance, gazing up at the same staircase that he had just climbed. They were both the same. This place was a loop! He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t leave.

Pancham returned to the center of the room. He began to pace uneasily, his arms shaking in fear. Oh, how he wished he’d just stayed home…

Something about the first paragraph in this bit I feel doesn't quite sell the sense of progression of time as well as it could. It might make sense to expand with a couple sentences to emphasize that Pancham is seeing the same stuff over and over again to better sell the sense that time is going by.

Also, small typo in the last paragraph.

‘Espurr’ didn’t see the point in being Espurr much longer. It shed its false form, and the distant visage of the village square crumbled to nothingness behind it. It could hear the cries of that pancham’s friend as he succumbed to his own fears, but that had never been important, because he had never been important. He was insignificant, just like all the rest of them were. The mystery dungeon had spread them out far and wide, but It would find them all soon. One at a time. They never stood for long when they didn’t have others to stand with. And one by one, It would end them, just like Its creator had wished It to.

But these insignificant toddlers were not Its true enemy. Two others came first. Finding and eliminating them was Its top priority.

The stairs—the real stairs— were just up ahead. Transitioning between forms, It didn’t currently have a mouth to grin with, so instead It just marched towards them on legs shedding lilac fur, and descended. It felt the stairs warp into nothingness behind it, and a new scent invaded Its nose: There was another on this floor, all on their own and so, so weak, so, so malleable, so, so delicious. Another sniff: This was the one they called “Deerling”.

A grin spread wide across Its face. Too many black, sharp, needle-like teeth met the air, before they began to shrink down into vulpine incisors. So be it.

Yeah, I had a feeling that this was going to happen. Though surprised that the Void Shadow didn't opt to just stone the kids instead of leaving them in the proverbial Lotus-Eater Machine.

Tricky coughed herself awake, slowly pulling herself to her paws amongst all the swamp water and marsh. What had happened? The last thing she remembered was going down the stairs, and then… A sudden wave of dizziness hit her, causing her to stumble back a bit in the marsh. And only then, after the dizziness had left her, did Tricky fully realize where she was.

Cramped, gnarled trees hung over her like twisted arms, vines hanging down from their branches like nooses. And the marsh was nearly up to her belly. Tricky looked around in fear. This couldn’t be possible. That place was gone. She had seen it collapse, right in front of her. So how was she here now? Was this where mystery dungeons went after they died?

But if there was anything Tricky knew, it was that dead or alive, a place like Poliwrath River was never safe to stand still in. She removed one of her forelegs from the mud with a loud squelch, then slowly pressed onwards through the muck. It was just like all the other dungeons. Find the stairs, find your friends, get out alive. Find the stairs, find your friends, get out alive. Find the stairs, find your friends, get out alive. Tricky repeated that mantra over and over in her head as she marched through the swamp.

Yeesh, I see the Void Shadow wasn't kidding about Tricky being a major threat given that the simulation-maker went straight for the jugular here in terms of lingering traumas.

Tingles suddenly ran up and down her spine, and she saw hints of a single light shining through the trees. It wasn’t large, but it was enough to illuminate Tricky’s surroundings. And it was getting farther away. Any light was precious light; she tried to dash after it, but the muck of the marsh slowed her down, and soon it became clear she was fighting a losing battle. Before long she couldn’t even see the light anymore, and she was left all alone to handle the horrors of Poliwrath River in the dark.

Again, right for the jugular.

Silence greeted her ears as she travelled across the glade. The marsh was sticky and pulled her paws back into itself with every step she took, and aside from the occasional splash in the distance there wasn’t a sound to be heard. Tricky could barely even see anything as she walked.

Until she suddenly could. Between the trees ahead of her, something glowed. The light slowly floated out from behind the trees, and Tricky could almost see it clearly—

And then it was snuffed out, just like that.

“Heeeeelp!!”

A voice called out distantly in the woods. Tricky recognized it, a voice she hadn’t heard for almost a year.

“Budew?” Tricky cried out hopefully. If this was where mystery dungeons went to die, then… maybe pokemon who died in mystery dungeons came here!

“Heeeelp!!”

“Budew!”

The sound of Budew’s pleas were more distant this time, as if he were being dragged further and further away by something. Tricky began to slog through the marsh once more with renewed vigor. She could catch up! She could catch up. She was going to catch up.

But soon, Tricky was faced with the situation that had been tugging at the back of her mind all along: the marsh had gotten too deep. Tricky—whose belly was half-submerged at this point—was loath to go any further on foot, and both paths around the marsh were blocked by the gnarled tree trunks of dying trees. Tricky’s ears lowered. How was she going to find Budew now?

And just like that, she could see again.

Tricky: "I should probably find all of this significantly more suspicious, but... yeah. Time to go and save Budew."

A single lilypad floated in the middle of the lake, a mysterious air surrounding it. It illuminated everything around it with an ethereal glow, and the light quickly caught Tricky’s eyes. She watched as slowly, it began to drift towards her as if guided by an unearthly force. Soon it was at the very bank of the lake, and it stopped right in front of Tricky. The glow was almost hurting Tricky’s eyes at this point. Even so, her heart leapt in joy—Budew was trying to help her! She didn’t want to go on the river… but there was no other way. Out of options, Tricky took a deep breath, stepped on the pad, laid down, and began to paddle with her paws.

The lilypad floated back out onto the lake with Tricky on top of it. Despite all her efforts to make the paddling go faster, it went stressfully slow. Tricky could barely see the other end of the lake, and in a place like Poliwrath River that was too scary. She attempted in vain to make the lilypad go faster.

Tricky: "Boy I sure hope that there aren't Poliwrath in the water all over again..." 😰

It wasn’t long before she began to notice small ripples silently coursing through the water ahead of her, like something coasting just under the water’s surface. Tricky barely caught the movement over the lilypad’s glow, but it was there and she saw it. She watched it coast out further into the lake with bated breath, hoping that it wouldn’t notice her floating along. The water quieted down a moment after, and then Tricky saw fit to continue paddling.

The lilypad had continued floating by in the absence of her paddling, but now it seemed that no matter how much or how hard she paddled it was slowly coming to a stop. And soon it came to a standstill in the middle of the lake. Tricky paddled almost violently in the water, looking down at her futile efforts in fear. This was bad. She was as far out from either side of the lake as she could get! And this stupid lilypad—

There. She caught it again. Something rippled through the water in the dark distance, coasting right through. And it was heading right for her lilypad. Tricky watched it with horror. This was the end, wasn’t it…

Tricky: "Oh, so they are here again. Fantastic."

As it approached the ripples disappeared, and for a split second, Tricky wondered if it had lost interest and was leaving. Then the bottom of her glowing lilypad suddenly tore open—

—A mottled blue hand shot out and pulled Tricky into the water.

Underwater she couldn’t breathe. Tricky had just enough time to take a breath before she went under, and then she was in the grasp of a skeletal poliwrath. The glow of the lilypad illuminated it from above, and she saw that half its skin was missing, seared off by flame. Its eyes were dead, rotting, and focused straight on her. Tricky just stopped herself from screaming underwater and releasing all her air, but she did her best to get away anyway. The zombified poliwrath wouldn’t let her go. It violently grabbed her and began to pull her apart. Tricky felt it she felt all the pain and it was horrible. She couldn’t stop herself from screaming, and she released all her air.

Well, this is certainly going well for Tricky.

But it wasn’t water that flowed into her mouth. Air didn’t flow in either and Tricky felt like she was suffocating, but she knew what water felt like in her mouth and there wasn’t any. And even through all the pain she was experiencing, that one thought stayed in Tricky’s mind: No water…

She took a breath, and air flowed in. And even though all her other senses were telling her that was underwater and she couldn’t breathe, she was breathing. And if she could breathe she could—

Tricky snapped her head forward, took a deep breath of air underwater, and then blasted the poliwrath in the face with fire. It dropped her, and Tricky fell to the bottom of the lake like a deadweight. The poliwrath screeched loudly as it covered its face in pain, and all around her Tricky saw the Poliwrath River begin to crumble away.

... Clever girl.

Tricky: "What in the...?"

The trees dissolved upwards, taking the vines with them Tricky couldn’t see the lilypads or the mud of the marsh anymore, and within minutes even the lake itself had become nothingness. The poliwrath had disappeared long ago. And all that was left was blackness. Blackness all around, and Tricky was once more alone. And then, the blackness began to take shape…

—Tricky violently snapped awake. She saw the narrow, goo-covered hallways of the Ancient Barrow once more, and Tricky realized she was laying against one. Half her face was covered in the goo! She sat up like a shot, quickly trying her best to rub it off her in disgust. Gross!

Tricky: "Oh blaugh, how on earth did this happen?"

It was about a minute before full clarity returned to Tricky again. It must have all been a dream! But if it was all a dream, then… Budew… Tricky’s ears lowered ever so slightly. What a mean thing to do.

A sudden glow caught her eyes. At the end of the hallway, that same ghostly glow that the lilypad had shone from around the corner. Tricky glanced at it, first in confusion and then in hope. Maybe, just maybe…

She got up and followed.

Tricky: "Okay, so this place can make these freaky illusion things. Good to know. (Boy we really should've gotten an adult.)" 😰

Pancham had been stuck underground for a while. Actually, was this underground? The answer eluded Pancham, but it didn’t matter—he was trapped nonetheless. There had to be some way out—he’d gotten in, after all—but no matter how many times he had rushed up or down the two stairways that led in and out of the room, they all led back to the same stone chamber that Pancham had been stuck in forever. He had tried everything: he’d searched for secret passages, went back up and down the stairs in patterns, and even tried pleading with the stairs at one point, which was a secret he would take to his grave no matter what. Nothing had worked. Somehow, he had been thrown in here, and there was no way out.

I'd ask if he tried crying, but from the text, I'm pretty sure the implication is that he probably has by this point. 😅

He’d taken to just leaning against a wall, staring at nothing in particular. This was his nightmare come to life, being trapped all alone. All alone with only his thoughts to keep him company. He didn’t like the thoughts. He liked to ignore those, act tough and cool, shoot a few pebbles from his slingshot. His slingshot was gone. He missed his slingshot. There wasn’t a single sound in this room, and somehow that was deafening.

Somewhere beyond his hearing but in his head, whispers flitted through his mind. They told him many things. They told him this was his punishment, that he deserved to be in here. To be locked up in a room, away from all the attention he so badly craved. To be locked up here, where he couldn’t hurt anymon else. Where he could look at them and see how happy they all were, but know that he couldn’t have any of that.

Except this time, he couldn’t make them pay attention to him. Even if he had to be the villain, even if making their lives worse was the only thing that made him feel better, he just wanted somemon to pay attention. Somemon who didn’t just follow him mindlessly like Shelmet. Now he had what he deserved. He folded his arms, leaning further and further down against the wall until he was sitting like that.

Does this kid get ignored by his parents or something? Since... that's quite a complex of his there. Would also consider breaking up the second paragraph there.

Maybe it was just the way that the dim light in the cavern reflected off the stone walls, but Pancham could have sworn that the cavern was slowly getting smaller—no, it was definitely getting smaller. The amount of wall between the stairway and the roof had decreased by quite a bit. Pancham sat up quickly. He didn’t know whether to be worried by the fact that the room was shrinking, or happy that he had something to distract him from the thoughts now.

The roof kept descending, and Pancham soon began to realize that it wasn’t going to stop. He could be crushed! He looked over to the stairways, to see if he could escape onto those, but found that there was no way through—the stairs were shifting inwards, becoming narrower and narrower as the roof grew closer and closer.

And somehow, the smaller the room became, the heavier the clouds over his head grew. Soon Pancham couldn’t even think straight enough to make an escape for himself; he just huddled in a ball on the ground, hoping he could ignore it and it would go away, just like the thoughts. Soon, the cold embrace of hard stone touched his head, and it didn’t give way even though he feebly pushed against it. The air in here felt downright oppressive, enough that he’d do anything to get away. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to let it happen. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to just give up. Maybe he could just stop fighting it and let your thoughts crush you.

... Are the characters cognizant of the gastertext in this story? Since this scene has some serious undertones if so...

But there was one thought that broke through all of that. It was one of the ones he liked to push away, because if he looked at this thought he had to look at all the other thoughts. But it tumbled out with everything else, and flitted through his mind just like the others. It was a saying, something his mother liked to recite: Your demons will devour you if you give them the chance. They feed and grow stronger on your pain, your fears, your bad deeds, and most of all your own ignorance of them. So let them in, let them see you, face them with all your bravery. And only then can you kill them.”

>Pancham
>brave


I guess that's one way to tell we're dealing with an AU, since Canon!Pancham... yeah, I'd have trouble seeing him work up the courage to do this given the circumstances.

And then, just for a second, the cloud lifted. It was enough for Pancham [ ]

Even though the stone was rock solid and there was no way he could make his way through, he began to punch at it. And to his surprise, his fists found purchase.

No

Pancham’s heart leapt. He continued to punch, creating greater and greater cracks in the stone with each pummeling.

No

Can't tell if you're just missing a period in that first paragraph or if there's missing words there. Either way, something needs to be added in.

Pancham: "Well, I'm making someone mad. Guess that's a sign to keep going, huh?"

The more he hit, the greater the dent became. The roof was close enough to the ground now that he was laying on the ground and it was still pushing against his head, tighter, tighter—

The seventh, desperate punch went through. Pancham saw light.

DIE

The roof seemed to all of the sudden pummel down further, the pressure on Pancham increasing tenfold. He could barely breath, everything was being squeezed and he couldn’t take this much longer… still, he kept going.

FOOL

One last, desperate, weak hit, and the roof that was crushing him broke apart—

I’LL STILL KILL YOU

The room was flooded by light, and then collapsed into nothingness.

>dat feeling when you almost got crushed to death by your own inner demons

Well, that was certainly fortuitous timing on Pancham's part.

Pancham awoke, breath heaving… but perfectly intact. He tried to move, but something seemed to be stuck to him. He looked down, seeing that nearly his whole body was stuck to the black goo that decorated the halls of this dungeon. He was halfway inside the wall! Quickly, he yanked at the coating of goo with all his might, trying to unstick himself from the wall. After a bit, he came free, falling into the dirty water with a splash.

Now that he was free again, he took in more of his surroundings. The cramped halls of the Ancient Barrow were around him once more, and what was worse—he didn’t see the others around. Pancham picked himself up, brushing a copious amount of black goo from his arm and the right side of his face as he did. He slowly stood up, marveling at the fact that he was still alive. Had it all been a trick?

More like 'psychological torture' kinda like the whole thing going on with Juri in the D-Reaper Arc of Digimon Tamers, but eh. Close enough.

He glanced over. On the other side of the hallway, Shelmet lay against the wall, stuck to it as well, fast asleep. He was writhing in apparent pain, murmuring unintelligible gibberish to himself. Pancham wasted no time. He crawled through the swamp over to Shelmet, shaking his shell violently.

Oh, so I was right about Shelmet earlier.

“Shelmet! Wake up!” he yelled, his cry echoing through the dungeon’s halls. Shelmet stirred once more, and then his eyes opened.

“…Pancham?” Shelmet asked wearily. Pancham wrapped him up in a large bear hug.

“Ugh… save it,” Shelmet struggled to say through Pancham’s embrace. “We don’t even know where we are yet…”

“There you guys are!”

Pancham quickly looked behind his shoulder, noticing Deerling and Tricky running up behind him. Shelmet took the opportunity to squirm out of Pancham’s arms while he was distracted.

I don't think Pancham's out of the Matrix just yet.

Pancham quickly got up, just noticing that he had gotten his legs completely covered in swamp water. He grimaced.

Deerling silently counted them.

“That’s four of us,” she muttered. “Where’s Espurr?”

“She pushed me down the stairs,” Pancham said, standing up once again.

“...Wha?” Shelmet asked, still trying to regain his bearings.

Yuuuuup. The fact that he still thinks that was real seems to back me up here.

“Wait! Shouldn’t we be focusing on getting out of here? I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff!”

“We’ve all seen weird stuff today,” Deerling said. She gave Pancham the cold shoulder. Pancham stopped walking with her, allowing her to continue on. Tricky gave him an oddly smug look as she passed him. It was like she was taking him in, smirking condescendingly.

I’LL STILL KILL YOU.

A few splashes from behind Pancham, and Shelmet quickly hopped up.

“Did you think something was off about that?” he asked. Pancham could only nod hurriedly.

Wait, how come Pancham didn't have any reaction to the voice from nowhere threatening him with death again? Or is he not able to hear that since... I legit couldn't tell from the narrative structure.

Though, yeah, exactly none of this bodes well for his life expectancy right about now.

The fog closed around Goomy, and then he was lost in endless blankets of white mist. Unsure of what to do, he continued to slime through it in a straight line, keeping an eye out for anything he could see in the fog.

The mist was thick and invasive, and it was impossible to see anything until Goomy was almost close enough to touch it. He had almost slimed into a wall more than once. But what he heard in the mist was more unnerving by far. Every so often in the distance Goomy would catch wind of a growl or a screech, and he’d course correct to avoid it. But they only got closer, no matter which direction he slimed in. Goomy had taken to the walls, checking for places to hide as he continued. But there was nowhere to hide. No holes were large enough for him to hide in.

The sound of several screeches behind him caught Goomy’s attention. He quickly turned around the best he could, glancing down the long, long hallway he had just crossed.

Dungeon ‘mon.

Goomy: "W-Why on earth did I ever think this was a good idea?"

Goomy could hear them rioting just around the corridor—and there were more than Goomy could count. There was nowhere to hide.

Goomy began to panic. Where was he going to go what was he going to do how would he get out of this??

He saw them as shadows in the fog first. Shadows that quickly grew in size and intensity, until a pair of furfrou broke the mist—

The furfrou were not okay. They were half-decomposed all over, and Goomy could even see the bones in some places. And then they attacked. Goomy, who had never had to fend for himself, had no line of defense—he was snapped up and mauled like a chew toy. One of the furfrou shook him in its mouth and then threw him against the wall. Goomy slowly splatted to the floor, then weakly reformed himself. Thankfully, his body wasn’t solid enough to be mortally damaged by mauling, but it had still hurt him.

Wait, is an encounter like this within the realm of possibility normally for Mystery Dungeons? Since otherwise, you'd think that being attacked by blatantly decomposing zombies would tip Goomy off that something was up. Since... I didn't quite remember any of the past encounters in MDs in this story being described like this visually.

Hoots and hollers and screeches abounded in the distant fog. Goomy began to tremble. He was going to die, wasn’t he?

No. There had to be a way out of this! There just had to be! If he just tried hard enough….

With determination, Goomy slimed back out into the middle of the corridor. He was going to fight this time, not run and hide like a scared rattata.

If this wasn't basically extended psychological torture, this would end, so, so poorly for Goomy here.

... Though I suppose there is room for it to still end poorly here, so let's see where this goes.

The next pokemon that dashed out of the fog was a zebstrika. It was mottled and rotting in all the same places the furfrou had been, but Goomy held his ground this time. He tackled the zebstrika to the ground just as it reached him. As scary as it looked, the pokemon was frail, and Goomy watched in awe as it degraded into dust.

He looked at the fog ahead of him. He could see the outlines of many more pokemon advancing through the mist.

Goomy braced himself. That was too many to deal with all at once. He looked around. There was no way out; he wasn’t fast enough. There was nowhere to hide; he was too large. And if he tried to run now he’d be cornered. There was only one option. Fight.

Goomy: "D-Did ferals always crumple up in Mystery Dungeons like this? I'd say that this feels wrong, but... I honestly haven't fought a whole lot of them so far." .-.

Before Goomy even knew what had hit him, he was swarmed by dungeon ferals galore. They piled on top of him, all snapping at him with their rotting mouths and skeletal claws. Their claws hurt, but Goomy continued to fight back as best he could. He wasn’t taking it lying down anymore! He was going to fight until he couldn’t fight anymore!

With that thought, Goomy suddenly began to glow. He saw his body light up with a bright flash, and the bright flash was the last thing he saw, before his surroundings went black.

Well that's one way to deal with Goomy's appalling base stats. Maybe. Possibly. Can't tell just yet.

Led by Deerling, the four of them travelled through the Barrow’s cramped halls silently. The floor was long and expansive, and perhaps more like a labyrinth than any of the floors above it. Pancham would never admit it, but all the silence was beginning to put him on edge more than everything that had happened tonight did. No-mon was talking to each other, instead just stewing in their own thoughts. Pancham didn’t know how, but he could feel it. Something about the dungeon made him able to feel it, and maybe everymon else felt it too.

The only ‘mon who seemed perky was Tricky. Tricky, who had the greatest negative energy of them all. It almost repelled Pancham with how strong it was.

But worst of all was that feeling of something being wrong. Something that neither he or Shelmet or even Deerling knew about. And Pancham couldn’t keep it in much longer.

Oh, so Deerling and Shelmet are real. Maybe. Possibly. Tricky is obviously not, but I already figured as much from Deerling's scene.

“We should talk to each other.”

“What?” Deerling turned her head back at him, and Pancham saw that she’d been silently crying the whole way.

“I said we should talk to each other,” Pancham repeated. “There just… can’t you feel all that negativity in the air?”

They could. They all could. It hung over them like a cloud, oppressive in a way it had never been before.

Deerling: "Pancham, how on earth is talking going to help again?" >_>;
Pancham: "I mean, it's not like being silent's magically making this vibe go away on its own, so..."

He waved his paw around just to make a point. “That’s us. And the longer we’re walking here in silence the worse it’s gonna get.”

“You’re gonna stop us from finding the path,” Tricky suddenly butted in. “If we’re talking all the time, we’re not looking!”

Shelmet: "... That's... certainly new from you."

Pancham: "... Uh... Tricky? Since when did you ever talk like that?" O_ó

“I agree with Tricky,” Deerling said. “We should be focusing on getting out, not talking.”

Tricky sent Pancham another smug look, before continuing with her nose in the air. And slowly, the group returned to silence.

Every so often Pancham would look at Tricky, who was prancing along gleefully without a seeming care in the world. It infuriated Pancham. How could she be so happy in their dire situation! The first thing he knew about Tricky was that she was a total wuss about this place.. how could she be so carefree about it now? It was like she genuinely didn’t care if they got out or not. Not as long as she had her fun.

Well, it helps when that's not really Tricky there.

Slowly, Tricky began to fall slightly behind. Soon she fell behind Shelmet, and trotted right next to Pancham, humming a cheerful tune and eyeing him almost tauntingly. And then, Pancham came to realization: Maybe it was in the way she moved, or the fact that she wasn’t wearing the scarf she had come in with, but Pancham realized all the same. This wasn’t Tricky.

Well, that was fast of Pancham. I have to wonder if this realization would've worked better getting built towards a bit more gradually in the earlier paragraphs such as him noticing things that are off in a paragraph here or there about 'Tricky' before having this epiphany. But meh, it's serviceable.

He acted quickly, grabbing ‘Tricky’ by the throat and pinning her to the side of the wall.

“Who are you??” he yelled in the creature’s face.

“Pancham!!” Deerling and Shelmet quickly turned around and ran back to where Pancham was. “What are you doing?!?” Deerling cried out in horror.

“That’s not Tricky!” Pancham yelled.

“What are you talking about?” Tricky feigned, squirming in Pancham’s grip. “I- I’m Tricky! Your best friend!!”

I'm of two minds as to whether it makes sense for the narration to come down hard on Tricky definitely being a fake here or not. Like on the one hand, the reader knows enough to put two and two together, but Deerling and Shelmet don't. I think that it's 'feigned' in particular that makes me doubtful, since the other bits otherwise still work decently well with a 'suspicious but unproven' POV.

Even Deerling was caught off by that. She kept her attack position, but stayed still. Shelmet relaxed as well once he saw Deerling.

“What happened to your scarf?” Pancham asked.

[ ]

“I… lost it,” Tricky said. “In the dungeon. But that’s not what’s important now, right?”

This feels like something where it probably would've made sense to describe Tricky's body language a bit more, since something about this being a hesitant/evasive answer feels like it'd come off better with some sort of body language or the like.

Pancham wasn’t satisfied.

“Then tell me your name,” he said. “Everymon knows that one.”

“Duh.” Tricky rolled her eyes. “It’s Tricky.

... Wait, does Pancham know Tricky's real name, or...?

[ ] Deerling couldn’t take it anymore.

“Pancham, just let her go,” she said loudly.

“That’s not the real Tricky!” Pancham yelled back, saying it in a panic as if on repeat. “It’s not real! It’s not real!”

“Pancham! Stop this!” Deerling yelled louder.

You probably want to emphasize Pancham's reaction a bit more in the same paragraph as Deerling losing it, since... yeah, he's kinda freaking out really, really hard right now, but it's not really shown off all that much. Also, it'd help punctuate an otherwise very dialogue-heavy sequence a bit better.

“Guys!” Shelmet tried to interject. He was ignored.

“I won’t! That’s not the real Tricky!” Pancham continued to yell.

Unnoticed, Tricky grinned with a mouth full of fangs. This was exactly what It had wanted, and that panda bear was dumb enough to fall for all Its traps. They had broken free of the nightmares, but the negative energy from this argument alone was giving It all the energy It needed to finally finish them off. Slowly, It sank into the goo-covered wall when no-mon was paying attention.

“Guys!” Shelmet loudly yelled, cutting both Pancham and Deerling off. They both looked at him with the same annoyed face: “What??”

“Tricky’s gone!”

That third paragraph.

Shelmet gestured to the wall where Tricky had been. Sure enough, there was nothing but black goo in her place. Both Pancham and Deerling went silent.

A sudden splashing from around the corridor caught the attention of all three pokemon.

“There!” Deerling yelled. “Follow it!”

Pancham, Deerling, and Shelmet all ran down the corridor and towards the noise.

Deerling was faster than Pancham and Shelmet combined. She rounded the corridor first, followed by Pancham and soon after Shelmet. Deerling froze. Her legs trembled for a minute. Then she quickly bolted forward.

“Goomy!” she called out as she ran. Sure enough, once Pancham looked, he saw Goomy slumped against the black goo of one of the walls. He was half-consumed by the wall, the pink goo of his body mixing in with the black goo of the walls.

Deerling: "B-But Tricky said that you were. A-And you're supposed to be-" ._.

A sudden gurgling stopped Deerling in her tracks. She watched in horror as slowly, the monster pulled itself out of the wall. It stood over the sleeping Goomy, reaching down for him menacingly…

“NO,” Deerling roared. She ran forward, her head down. At the last minute, she came to a screeching halt, opened her mouth, and shot a beam of green energy directly at the monster.

Oh well that certainly went places quickly.

Pancham: "Now do you believe that wasn't really Tricky, Deerling?" >_>;
Deerling: "Pancham, not now, okay?!" >.<

“Hey—wait!” Pancham called out as he and Shelmet tried to catch up. “Wait for us!”

The monster was barely fazed. Ignoring Goomy, it began to step forwards, focused on Deerling instead. All her bravado suddenly lost, Deerling began to back away.

Deerling: "I'm... beginning to think that I've made a few bad decisions here."

“Hey!”

A voice echoed down the hall, drawing the attention of both Deerling and the monster. Pancham dashed forward, his fist glowing with black energy. “You stay away from her!” he cried out valiantly, dashing forward and striking the monster in the chest.

The monster reeled back a bit, and Deerling took the opportunity to blast the monster with another energy ball. That sent the monster careening backwards.

Pancham, Shelmet, and Deerling stood together as it got up, ready to attack once again. But the monster didn’t attack. Instead, it studied them as if it were slightly wary of their power.

Ah yes, swooping in to save the day for your crush. Though I have to wonder how these three aren't just getting stone lazored right about now.

Then, without warning, it suddenly scooped up Goomy in its claws, and dove into the wall, taking Goomy with it. Deerling’s cry of horror was lost as the last of Goomy’s lavender goo disappeared into the wall along with the monster.

And then all was quiet.

Well, that went well™️.

Deerling: "Okay, now I'm really going to kill Espurr if we somehow get out of here alive." >.<
Pancham: "C-Can you get your priorities straight right about now, Deerling?"

Deerling’s legs trembled. Once. Then twice. Then, she collapsed to the ground. Pancham didn’t hear her say anything. He walked over.

“We’re gonna find it,” he said.

“It took Goomy!” Deerling suddenly snapped at him. She turned around; Pancham saw the devastated look on her face. “W-what do you think there’s going to be to find?”

“Didn’t you see?” Pancham asked. “We scared it off! It’s running from us! It took a hostage.”

Shelmet: "Er... Pancham, that's kinda a bold assumption that the monster won't just kill Goomy anyways while we're chasing it." .-.
Pancham: "Shut up, Shelmet. Lemme have my moment." >_>;

“What does that matter?” asked Deerling forlornly.

“If we’re fast enough, we can still get Goomy back!” said Pancham. “Espurr and Tricky too.”

“You don’t know that,” Deerling muttered.

“No, I don’t.” He began to trudge forward in the muck, looking back at Deerling and Shelmet. “But don’t you at least want to try?”

... Somehow I didn't peg Pancham as a Determinator, but it definitely tracks with that last scene of his breaking out of the shrinking room illusion. Also a fun/touching note to end that scene on.

Tricky ran through the hallway, carelessly splashing through the muck. The glow was disappearing. She had to keep up with it! Tricky rounded one corridor, then the next. In the distance, she heard what sounded like a large gurgle, and only then did the glow begin to stay in one place.

She slowed down as she approached it. Carefully turning the last corridor, Tricky finally laid eyes on what had been casting that ghostly glow all this time: in the middle of the hallway floated Budew. He looked just like she remembered, all the way down the blue scarf she’d given him to wear all that time ago.

Tricky didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. So she did the first thing she could think of – she bolted forward and hugged him tightly.

“Budew…” she half laughed, half sobbed. “It’s really you…”

Narrator: "It's not really him."

“All I remember is… dying,” Budew said, in a small, cracked voice. “And then I ended up here. I’ve been here for years… wandering around all in the dark… I had to drink swamp water!”

“I know…” Tricky still hadn’t released him from her hug. A single tear slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry I got you killed.”

Budew was the one who eventually parted them. He looked at her with big, pleading eyes. “Have you come to take me out of here?”

Tricky’s face lit up with what was perhaps the most joyful expression she’d ever had. “Of course! Of course you can come back! You can come back to school, and meet Espurr and Goomy and see Deerling again and…”

“Does that mean you’re going to take me out of here?” Budew asked, louder and more firm this time.

This entire sequence is so cruel knowing that all of this is really the Crooked House messing with Tricky's head there.

“I… can’t yet,” Tricky said. She took a deep breath, steadying herself to say what she didn’t want to. All she wanted to do was go back to town with Budew, she wanted it so badly, just to find the exit and skip back to her house and tell the whole village that he was alive, that she wasn’t a murderer after all. But she couldn’t. Not yet.

“There are friends in here with me,” she said. “I can’t just leave, I have to find them. We have to find them. So they don’t end up down here like you were.”

“B-but the exit’s right there,” Budew said. “It’s right around the corner. We could leave, you could come with me. Please, I’ve been so lonely down here…”

Tricky saw what she didn’t before, a light around the corner, the light of daytime. Her heart fluttered, her ears rose. The light looked so magical, the way out so easy, the exit and Budew’s life again only a corridor away. And then doubts began to fill her mind. Espurr was good at crawling dungeons, as good as her. M-maybe they’d find the way out, the other five of them. Or maybe she could just go now, and then come back for the rest of them later! It all seemed so easy, so obvious. She just had to not think about it.

It's one of those moments where you're screaming 'stop' at the screen but you can understand exactly why Tricky is having the train of thought she's having here.

But she couldn’t not think about it. She couldn’t go. She wanted to go, but she knew she couldn’t. All her friends, her classmates, they were still down there. And she valued Espurr and Goomy and Deerling just as much as Budew. She couldn’t leave them! She had to go back. She had to.

“G-go without me,” she said. It took too much willpower to say. “I’m the explorer. I’m going back for my other friends, and I’m not leaving until everymon gets out of here safely. But… you could go. I’ll find the exit again, I promise! And then I’ll introduce you to everymon else! You just need to go.”

“But I can’t,” Budew said. “I can’t go unless somemon else goes with me. You could save me, please. Please.”

It was too much for Tricky to take. She grit her teeth and kept her mouth shut and trembled, because she knew if she opened it she would say yes, she wanted to go with him. But then her eyes locked on something beyond Budew that wasn’t the light of the outside. Tricky’s head tilted, and she looked behind him to see the form of something lying against the wall. Something that looked pinkish.

“…Hey,” she said. “Is that Goomy?”

Tricky: "... Hey, what in the...?" .-.

“What?” Budew looked behind himself as well. “Who’s Goomy? I don’t see anymon.”

“But he’s right there,” Tricky said, beginning to pad around Budew. Budew quickly made to stop her, flying in front of her.

“There’s no-mon there, Tricky,” Budew said sternly. “Please go with me. Just forget about everymon else. Do what your heart says! It’s telling you what you should do, right?”

Tricky was silent. Slowly, her ears drooped, and a few tears fell from her eyes silently. But she didn’t cry.

“You’re right,” she said. “It is. Lead the way.”

Budew happily veered off in the opposite direction, heading down the hallway she had come from. But Tricky didn’t follow. Budew looked back in confusion once he had reached the corridor’s entrance. He wavered, floating back over once he’d noticed.

“Are you coming with me?” he asked. Tricky shook her head.

“You’re not the real Budew,” she said.

“But I am the real Budew!” Budew yelled. “I am! I am! i Am!” Tricky just hung her head and shook it.

Tricky: "Well, you're definitely not with that speech pattern. But... why?"

“I’m really sorry,” she said. And then she took a deep breath, and blew a stream of fire directly at Budew.

The fire was hungry, and soon Budew was completely alight. Tricky tried to drown out his screams by covering her ears, and soon with her own. But they didn’t last long. The familiar voice of Budew droned on longer than it should have, increasing in pitch until it was a loud, demonic screech. And then it cut out entirely, and Budew was gone.

Yeah, I knew that things were going to go there, and... yeah, it's still painful to read.

Tricky sniffled, then blinked the tears from her eyes. And when they settled, the light around the corner had disappeared. Her eyes focused on the floppy pink pile lying by the wall down the corridor.

“Goomy!” she yelled, running over to his sleeping form. She quickly nudged him with her paw, then her nose. “Wake up!” It was a minute, but Goomy stirred. He blinked his eyes open wearily, looking at Tricky.

“…T-Tricky?” he asked hopefully. Tricky nodded ecstatically.

“Come on—get up!” she hissed, barely able to sit still. “We’ve gotta find the others!”

“Hey!! Over here!”

Both Tricky and Goomy turned to see a welcome face: Pancham ran around the corner, followed by Deerling and Shelmet. Everymon was there, except for…

Except for…

Tricky: "Oh no..."

…But Espurr was smart. The smartest of all of them. Tricky was sure she was fine. She had to be fine. Tricky quickly ran to join the other three ‘mon, looking back to make sure that Goomy was keeping up.

“How’d you guys find us?” she asked.

“We heard the screeches,” Pancham said. “We just followed the sound. What were those, anyway—”

“GOOMY!!” Deerling cried out, galloping over to meet Goomy in the middle. She quickly checked him over to make sure he was fine. “Are you alright? Did that monster do anything to you??”

“I-I’m fine,” Goomy said, shrugging off the attention. He didn’t like it when Deering fawned over him like that. He was big enough to care for himself! A sudden gurgling from the wall stopped everymon in their tracks. They all watched in horror as a clawed arm erupted out of the wall, followed by another. And then a leg. And then the monster stood before them in Its full glory. Enraged.

DIE.

All:

Pancham, Deerling, and Shelmet took attack positions.

“Behind me, Goomy,” Deerling said urgently. Goomy was going to object, but then saw the monster and did exactly as Deerling asked.

“Now what?” Shelmet asked, as Tricky charged up and ember too.

“On three, we all attack,” Pancham said. “One… Two… Three!”

Tricky fired an ember. Deerling fired an energy beam. Pancham grabbed ahold of Shelmet, and ran straight for the beast with the pointy end of Shelmet’s shell. The energy ball and ember combined sent the monster reeling back, but it was quick. It grabbed Shelmet, stopping Pancham in his tracks.

“Hey—stop!” the monster lifted both Pancham and Shelmet up into the air. Deerling lost it. She put her head down, and charged for the monster once more, intending to headbutt it. Her head became stuck in the goo.

Tricky: "Ew... I hope that that washes out."

Tricky fired another ember at the monster, but it blocked the attack with Shelmet’s shell. Tricky growled and charged forward, , biting the creature in the leg, But her muzzle went all the way through, and Tricky found she couldn’t remove it. Muffled, she screamed in horror as she tried to pull her nose and muzzle out. She was suffocating!

Goomy watched in terror as the monster dealt with all his friends. He couldn’t… he couldn’t take this anymore! If no-mon was going to help his friends, then somemon had to step up!

The same spark Goomy had felt in the nightmare resounded within him. There was a sudden flash, and for a few seconds Goomy felt nothing. And then everything went black. Goomy could feel his eyes, and he could hear his friends scream, but he couldn’t see them!

And then his antennae twitched, and suddenly he saw everything. He looked around, his antennae focusing on the monster. Somehow, he knew what to do. He opened his mouth, and he felt a newfound energy build up within. And once it became too much for his mouth to bear, he spat it out. The ground suddenly boomed, and the creature was thrown back to the end of the hallway. All of Goomy’s friends fell back into the muck, catching their breath from the harrowing encounter. They all saw Goomy and gazed in awe, but their attention quickly returned to the creature at the end of the hallway.

With just a squelch and the shifting of the wall, it was gone.

Wow, I was not expecting Goomy of all 'mons to pull that off. But guess you were serious about that bit of yours a while back where you said that you liked stories where nobody was insignificant.

Slowly coming to. Espurr blinked her eyes open. She sat up in the blackness, looking around. The all-too-familiar blackness of the In-Between met her eyes. She stood up. If she was here, then that meant…

Foolish girl.

A wind began to howl in the distance, and suddenly Espurr was knocked backwards, falling on her behind. She glanced up at the howling wind above her, staring up in wordless horror.

Oh so foolish… you make my job too easy. All it took was one dream, and you came skittering into my lair without another thought to pay.

Espurr: "Uh... yeah. We really should have gotten an adult like Deerling suggested."

The void was suddenly all around her. Espurr stayed quiet as she looked for a way out. Just the thought of pulling another psychic trick made her head want to explode, but there had to be another way out!

“Wake up…”

A new voice reverberated in her head. Espurr quickly stared up at the sky in hope. “It’s coming…”

The winds suddenly picked up, the howling drowning out whatever she could hear of the voice.

Now your friends will die… and you will die with them. My shadow will consume you ALL.

Espurr: "You know, this really isn't helping your case that you're somehow the good guy in all of this-"
Dark Matter: "I DON'T CARE."

“…Wake up! Wake up wake up wake up—"

Espurr felt something violently shake her, and all of the sudden she was in—

Espurr: "Wait, have I been dreaming agai-?"

The cramped halls of the Ancient Barrow greeted her eyes once again. Espurr was lying against the black goo that coated the walls, and a good amount of her fur was covered in it. Over her stood a riolu. Espurr was startled; she almost yelped in surprise. But the riolu frantically gestured for silence with his paws.

“Quiet! It’s coming,” he hissed.

Sure enough, Espurr’s ears caught the sound of something gurgling in the distance, and then a large splash echoed through the hallway. Riolu began to panic—he looked this way and that, his eyes finally settling on a dead-end corridor nearby.

“This way!” he quietly hissed, and then he quickly led Espurr towards it. Still addled from her sleep, Espurr could only stumble after him, their feet making splashes in the swamp water as they ran.

Espurr: "I'm sorry, who are you again-?"
Riolu: "What part of 'quiet' do you not understand, lady?" >_>;

They both sat down in the swamp muck, hiding themselves from sight. Riolu motioned for silence, and Espurr stayed as quiet as she could. They quietly listened as outside the passage, something large tromped by.

Slowly, it passed, and only after it had been gone for a good minute did Riolu uncup his paw from over his mouth.

“Who are you?” Espurr asked in a whisper, once she was sure that the monster wouldn’t be coming back for them.

“I’m Riolu,“ he said, puffing out his chest. “And I’m the fourth Human Savior.”

That. Ending.

Alright, overall thoughts:

I'm honestly really, really tempted to continue on and do a double feature for V-Wheel since things were getting really lit and that was quite the cliffhanger you left things out on. But I'll defer here since... yeah, there's a lot of stuff to sort out and the review deadline isn't that far away. ^^;

I really, really liked the whole "fight your inner demons" thing that the chapter had going on. It made certain sequences like the one between Tricky and Budew have a lot of punch to them. I'm still kinda reeling from the casual reveal of that second human that was blink-and-miss it foreshadowed by the Exploration Society. Like I legit forgot about that until now, but boy did you make a memorable entrance and I have so many questions about how and why right now.

As for things that didn't quite sit with me... it's mostly just the quibbles I already pointed out in the earlier writeup since I was honestly too busy getting engrossed in everything going on this chapter. Part of me does wonder if the halves of the chapter consisting of everything up to Tricky's first scene and everything afterwards were thematically distinct enough to justify hacking the chapter up into two. But eh. I won't begrudge it, and 13 scenes is definitely a lot more digestible than the 22 that the prior chapter had.

But all-in-all, I had a lot of fun with this chapter @SparklingEspeon . And I can see what you were talking about for wishing the review exchange hadn't ended where it had, since... yeah, the gas pedal for the story feels like it just got mashed into the floor right now. Kudos, and looking forward to crossing paths with your story again sometime in the future. ^^

 

[OrionTheAbsol]

Crossposted from Bulbagarden.

It's been some time since I played Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon so the details are hazy to me. I do remember the students at the beginning.

And I wonder if there will be a connection to Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, the novel that inspired Blade Runner. I can imagine the possibilities. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Spoiler: My Commentary

• Starting things off with a worldwide conspiracy! With the possibility that it's masterminded by a cosmic horror/god.
• The Helping Adventurous Pokemon Prosper Institute (HAPPI)? Why do I imagine a bunch of Pokémon with permanent creepy grins?
• Red desert? Dune music? Ooohhh...
• "If you ever played the game and were simultaneously disappointed with how many good ideas it THREW AWAY, and in awe at how it always seemed to choose the worst narrative option to approach its story, then this fic is for you."
  • BAM! SHOTS FIRED!

Prologue - Those That Live In This World

• Oh? Could Espurr be another human-turned-Pokémon? If not, this still would end up being one of the best reactions to being an amnesiac Pokémon there is. I'm tired of seeing this trend with PMD fics: "Oh no, I'm a Pokémon! I can't remember who I am! Well, that's weird. So, anyway...!"
• Oh yeah, Super PMD had the Beheeyem. Forgot about those guys.
• "I SEE OU" - Oh no! Ou is in trouble!
  • Strangely, the Y doesn't appear underlined on mobile, but is on a desktop. I wonder if it's because the print is so small on mobile that it doesn't bother rendering the underline? Who knows.
• "Espurr felt the beginnings of another wind begin to blow through her fur." - This is worded strangely.
• An unnatural wind, huh? Are you referring to the one that instantly forces a Pokémon out if they stay on a mystery dungeon floor too long?
• Dungeon's false projections? So the Pokémon living in mystery dungeons are some kind of phantom? Interesting.

Chapter 1 - Tricky

• “A WEEK!?” the fennekin moaned, like it was her with the broken bone and not Espurr. - Hey, at least it's a week and not several months.
• Tricky the troublemaker. I feel like that's a potential nickname for her.
• The way Tricky described a mystery dungeon makes it sound like it's a giant Eldritch horror ready to make lives miserable.
• Oh, the Dungeon Wraith? How malicious.
• Watchog is sounding more and more like a detached stick-in-the-mud parent who blames modern music and video games for bad behavior.

Unfortunately, that is all the time I have for today.

Overall, I find the premise interesting. Instead of the usual human-turned-starter-Pokémon, one of the side characters in the official media takes the role of protagonist. I'm a fan of these kinds of stories; like, what would happen if one of the side characters led the charge instead? It's interesting to think about and allows the more underused characters to stay in the limelight.

I like the pacing of the prologue. It's a spooky introduction to a mystery dungeon for Espurr, and her fear is very much justified. Being hunted down by three strange, alien creatures is not something anyone would want to wake up to.

Chapter 1 feels strangely short despite being over 7K words. Tricky hogs most of the spotlight; understandably, she's the deuteragonist but I was hoping to learn a little more about our protagonist Espurr. The introduction of Serenity Village was very brief, and our two protagonists going through the mystery dungeon more so. I was hoping that maybe Tricky would elaborate on what she knows about mystery dungeons to Espurr.

In regard to prose, I feel like there were times when certain details got repeated often and slowed down the pacing of the story. There were some 'filter words', if you're interested in editing those out.

I find the idea of a mystery dungeon being almost like a living, shapeshifting creature fascinating (sort of like Dracula's Castle in the Castlevania series). It's an idea that certainly adds more tension to the places these characters explore, because there's no telling what shape these places will take and what kind of tricks they possess. At some point, these dungeons will come alive and try to force out these little creatures out, with death being a big possibility.

I'm surprised we haven't seen Nuzleaf at this point. If I recall, he's one of the first characters to appear in Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon. But going by the chapter names, it seems like he'll appear somewhere down the line.

Interesting read thus far. Keep up the great work!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Alright, back a bit sooner to reviewing your story than I expected, but hey, it's up for offsite Review Tag, so picking up where I left off on Psychic Sheep sounds like as good a use of time as any. Picking up with the first half of that fabled 2-parter right down the pipe from where I was…

Chapter 22

Oh, you’re up now.

Salutations from the other side, dear traveler! Sorry for putting you under. Trust me, you’d have gone crazy if you were awake.

…Hmm? Who am I? Well… I’m a friend. And there’s an entire world out there that needs your help. In fact, you’re their last hope.

You want what?

I’ll have to erase your memories of this conversation, so you won’t keep any of it. But we have a little time. Sit down— oh. Wait. You don’t have a body yet. Silly me! Just float there, then.

It all started very long, long ago…

Is this the Voice of Life or something? Since I can't tell if there's a legit reason for that constraint or if this is just the speaker jerking the party being spoken to around.

Riolu opened his mouth, and his tongue flopped out. Everything felt weird. He could smell the forest around him in much more detail than he was used to, and he was sure his tongue wasn’t supposed to be hanging out of his mouth like that. It was only when he heard the rushing of the lake that Riolu thought to open his eyes.

He couldn’t see as well, that was for sure. But his smell and hearing more than made up for it. He could hear the lake, and he could smell the lake, and his nose and ears together told him it was less than three feet away. That would take some getting used to. His feet, however…

Riolu cast a look at his hind paws, realizing that he didn’t have the faintest idea of how to walk on those. All the while his tongue had been flopped out of his mouth, and it was beginning to drip slobber onto him. Riolu did his best to pull his tongue back into his mouth, but it took a few tries to get it right. And then, Riolu noticed: he was parched.

Luckily, that was what the lake was for.

Ah, I see that whole "no recollection of being biologically human" is a constant of humon amnesia in this world and not just a quirk that applies to Espurr. Will file that one away for later.

Riolu crawled over to it on his elbows and knees, and after casting a look around and realizing there wouldn’t be any ready-made cups waiting around for him in the middle of a forest—darn it—he gave up and stuck his tongue into the water to drink. He was able to drink his fill that way easily, although the water flowed too fast for Riolu to see his reflection.

Swish.

The thing that jarred him out of his stupor was the sound of something approaching from behind him. Riolu quickly turned over, looking in the direction of the noise. In the distance (although he couldn’t tell for sure, the distance was a bit blurry), there stood what looked like a trio of cone-headed creatures with softly-flickering lights on their arms. The flickers made it hard to see. Riolu tilted his head for a minute. Were these natives? Maybe they could help him!

Huh, nice xenofiction touch there, since IIRC that's an actual quality of dog vision IRL. I wonder if Riolu is also R-G colorblind in his present body, or if the Humanshape attributes counter that.

“Hey!” Riolu called out cheerfully, waving at them. “Hullo! Over here! Anyone think they can give me some directions!?”

They didn’t answer. Riolu’s waving stopped for just a second. He was beginning to get a little unnerved. Maybe they couldn’t hear him or something. He’d just wave harder.

“I’m a bit lost!” Riolu called out, unconsciously wagging his tail behind him. “Can you help me?”

... Well this is going to end terribly, I can already tell-

Waaaaait a minute, I just realized. There was a Riolu statue that Espurr ran into in the School Forest like 10 chapters ago, and this kid's right here in front of the Beheeyem. Who have their petrifying wibbly-wobbly...

That doesn't bode well for this kid's immediate... well, anything.

The trio of pokemon turned to each other, and Riolu saw for sure the flickering lights on their hands. Red yellow green yellow red and then yellow again…

And then, just like that, they all turned back to face Riolu. Riolu gave them a complimentary wave. Just in case. Maybe…

All thoughts and hopes of a civil exchange were suddenly dashed from Riolu’s mind. The creatures raised their arms, and then a large shadowy ball materialized out of nowhere and flew straight at Riolu—

—Riolu barely dived out of the way as it flew over the bush he was next to and exploded against something on the other side of the lake.

Yuuuup, this is going about as well as I expected. That's certainly one way to enter a new world.

Riolu: "H-Hey, watch where you chuck that, pal! You almost hit me!"

Beheeyem: "That's the idea."

“Hey! Not cool!” Riolu yelled back at them. If the strange pokemon heard him, they didn’t acknowledge it. They started to move towards him, and as the bushes pushed apart Riolu saw that they had no legs. They floated.

Riolu quickly glanced down at his own legs. He didn’t know how these even worked, much less how to walk on them! But then one of the strange pokemon’s lights flickered bright yellow again and blinked him in the face, and Riolu decided that now was as good a time as any to learn. He hopped to his feet—stumbled a bit—then ran off into the woods as fast as he could.

He didn’t get far. He tripped on a root, which sent him tumbling down the forest floor until he landed in the middle of a ditch.

After half a minute of lying there, Riolu groaned. His leg hurt. It wasn’t broken, but it wasn’t like he was going anywhere fast. There was no time for this! Maybe—maybe he could—

Riolu looked down at his paws, then at all the mud under him. He didn’t know how, but he knew: His hands were made for digging. And he was in a ditch. He could dig his way out.

Narrator:

Riolu: "Hey! We learn Dig by TM! It was worth a shot!"

Above him, the strange pokemon passed over, looking for him in vain. Riolu held his breath until they had disappeared (or at least he couldn’t hear them anymore). Then he sat up. His leg wasn’t throbbing in pain as much anymore. It was time to get to work.

Riolu spent the next few hours digging a hidey-hole for himself. At several points, he had to stop whenever he heard the swish of ferns being pushed aside, or the tell-tale beeping that came with the strange pokemon’s presence. But Riolu was a diligent worker, and by the time that night fell Riolu had dug himself a large tunnel.

That... worked better than I thought it would. And that suddenly makes those background details of the School Forest chapter a lot more

looking back. Since we're seeing how that winding tunnel seemingly dug in a hurry was made. And presumably how the Riolu statue was created not long after this.

Before long, he felt hungry. He lay in the small, underground passage he had dug that was just big enough for him, clutching his belly in mild pain. He’d been working hard all day, not to mention the nagging feeling that something was off about him that he couldn’t quite put his finge—paw on. Above him, he heard distant beeps in the distance. He couldn’t just go out and forage for things, because then he would be caught and he didn’t have the skills to fight or evade those strange pokemon yet.

Riolu decided to keep digging. He needed food sooner or later, but staying in this tunnel forever and waiting for the relentless pokemon to leave would just mean starving to death in here. Riolu was going to dig outside of their boundaries, and hope they didn’t discover the tunnel in the ditch before he did.

... Maybe that mysterious voice thingy did hook him up with a Dig TM at this rate.

And so he dug. For hours, until dirt piles littered the passage behind him and Riolu was sure it was sunrise again (although he couldn’t tell because he wasn’t above ground). He was almost ready to collapse. He looked back at the tunnel entrance, which he could still vaguely see from far away. He hadn’t dug as long a distance as he had thought. Riolu leaned against the cavern wall in exhaustion. He was so tired, and so hungry, and so thirsty… Perhaps he’d just dig up here. This must be outside the strange pokemons’ boundaries. And if not, maybe they were sleeping. Or maybe they’d moved on, thinking he was long gone at this point. Either way, this couldn’t go on for much longer. Riolu needed out, and he needed out now.

Riolu dug up. It was hard at first, but he soon found that he was able to cling to the walls with his claws and bat the dirt down, and soon the entire ground above fell onto the floor of the cavern below and Riolu saw daylight, beautiful daylight, and he rejoiced, climbing out of the hole.

Swish.

Riolu: "Thaaaat ain't good."

In the distance. Riolu’s head snapped back towards that. Did those pokemon never quit? He didn’t think beyond that—he ran. The pokemon emerged from the treeline behind him, almost like they had known he was there, and as he glanced back towards them Riolu tripped.

He hit the ground hard. Riolu groaned, feeling all the aches and pains of his body come back to hit him full-force with that one collision against the ground. The strange pokemon didn’t wait for him to recover. One of them raised its arms in his direction, and before Riolu had a chance to react a large shadowy ball flew out of nowhere and collided with him.

Riolu’s body was in pain, then stiff, and then everything went black.

And then Riolu became a lawn ornament.

It was a while before Riolu could wake up again. He was still parched, but everything felt hotter. Much hotter. He opened his eyes, and saw the blood-red sky above him.

That wasn’t right.

Riolu sat up, looking around. All around him was a forest of dead trees. No leaves were anywhere to be seen, and the bark was pitch black. It rotted off the trees and curled up on the ground.

Riolu slowly got to his feet. Nothing about this was right. And he needed something to eat. And drink.

Not sure if that's even possible in the Voidlands, but... yeah. Good luck with that one, Riolu.

- Riolu gawks about his surrounding hellscape -
Riolu: "... I get the feeling that's going to be a lot easier said than done at this rate."

Something caught the corner of Riolu’s eye. Something blue amongst all the crimson. Riolu turned to see a blue flame dancing deeper in the forest. It flickered weakly, almost half-gone. Riolu could even see through it.

It danced around in the air gracefully, then zipped off in a different direction as if bidding Riolu to follow. Riolu stopped for a minute. Was this really the best option? The last pokemon he had tried to trust had brought him… here. But where was ‘here’? Riolu looked around at the dead trees and the red sky. He needed any help he could get. He’d just have to be on the lookout for a trap. And so Riolu reluctantly decided to follow it. There wasn’t another good choice, in hindsight.

As Riolu walked he noticed that the flame was beginning to get stronger. He couldn’t deny that he was scared right now, and maybe that was making him see things, but it looked like the flame was slightly more solid. Less see-through. Maybe even the flame was a hallucination.

Ah yes, just approach the Not!Hitodama connected to Dark Matter. That mysterious voice in the intro really needed to have a better contingency plan for its Human Savior getting ganked almost right off the bat.

Riolu’s stomach growled. He clutched it in hunger as he went. Boy, he hoped he could find something to eat soon.

The flame entered a large clearing in the middle of the dead woods, and then it stopped. Riolu followed it into the clearing, but no further. The flame was completely stationary, dancing and flickering brightly in place. It looked a lot more energetic than when Riolu had first seen it. A wave of fear came over Riolu suddenly. Had he just walked into some kind of trap?

I mean, considering who those flames are connected to... yeah, I'm smelling a trap myself.

Slowly, Riolu peeked his head out into the clearing, both ways. He didn’t see anything but the trunks of more dead trees. And that flame, which had not moved an inch. Slowly, Riolu sighed in defeat. If this was a trap, he’d just have to spring it. He was too hungry to come up with a better solution right now.

Riolu took a single step out into the clearing, then quickly pulled his foot back. Nothing happened. Arrows didn’t fly from the trees, and no monster emerged from the forest to devour him. Riolu mustered up all his courage, and then put his foot out again. And this time, it stayed there.

Riolu took another step. Then another. And another. Soon he was all the way out of the tree-line, and nothing had changed. Riolu let out a quiet sigh of relief. Then he quickly scampered up to the flame like the ground behind him was lava.

It stood still in the air, same as it had since he’d seen it. Riolu tentatively reached out a paw to touch it, but his paw went through completely. Riolu pulled it out then looked down at it, noticing how it was completely unharmed.

“BOO!!”

Okay, never mind. This is some other Not!Hitodama here.

“Aaauggh!” Riolu fell backwards onto the ground, edging away towards the treeline in fear. Slowly, he watched as the blue flame materialized completely, a candle forming at its base. A candle with a face.

“Oh, tasty, tasty beautiful fear!” the candle cried out in joy, seemingly devouring something that Riolu couldn’t see. “For a moment…” the candle gasped between bites. “…I thought I was going to disappear…”

“Fear?” Another voice piped up from a distance.

“Fear?”

“Where is it?”

“We can eat??”

“We can eat!”

“We’re saved!”

Several more voices whistled through the bare treetops, and Riolu could only watch as more of the blue flames arrived to feast upon an invisible luncheon. And Riolu was terrified. He curled up in a ball on the ground, waiting for it all to be over, for this all to be just a dream—

“You can get up now. We’ve had our fill.”

Yeah, it's probably a good thing that Spike Chunsoft just went full "I reject your reality and replace it with my own" in PSMD for Litwick's mainline Pokédex fluff, since... yeah, that wouldn't have ended well for Riolu there otherwise, or Pancham and Shelmet canonically.

Riolu slowly peeked out from the ball he was currently curled up in. The candle that had led him here – he could tell because the flame on top was larger than the others – floated over him, a friendly expression upon its face.

“Yeah!” another candle piped up from amongst the horde of candles that were now watching him (Riolu became a little uncomfortable in just that moment). “You saved us!”

“I… what?” Riolu asked. His voice was raspy from lack of water, and it felt weird just talking. Never mind the fact that he was talking to floating ghost candles.

His stomachache suddenly grumbled, and Riolu clutched it in pain. The candles all exchanged looks.

“Well, he fed us,” said one. “’s only fair.”

- Riolu's stomach growls -
Riolu: "... Er... your definition of food is something other than others' panic attacks, right? Since I'm pretty sure I can't eat that..."

“So what are you guys all about?” Riolu asked, happily gnawing on a few carrot-like roots that the candle-things had picked for him. They barely had any taste and they smelled awful, but Riolu was just happy to eat something at this point.

“What do you mean?” one of the candles asked, lazily floating in the air.

“Like,” Riolu said before biting off a large piece of the root. “What are you?”

All the candles exchanged weird looks at that line.

“Well…” one candle started. “We’re Litwick. The former and forever occupants of the Ancient Barrow!”

“Well, until recently,” said another.

“What’s that mean?” Riolu asked.

“It’s an unfortunate misconception,” said the litwick who had led him here. “The public thinks we’re soul eaters, and that we have to kill somemon every time we want to eat. Really, we just feed on negative auras. But all the superstition got troublesome to deal with, so we locked ourselves away in the Ancient Barrow and posed as ghosts. A little ‘boo’ here, dishes re-arranged there, and we ate well. We were eating well. And then…” the litwick shuddered, too scared to go on.

Oh, so the Ancient Barrow was like its canonical counterpart up until some point in the past. Before it got run over by Dark Matter and its influence.

“And then we were attacked,” another, braver litwick continued in his place. “All this icky black goo came down the wall! None of us saw what it was. We were just hit by this strange black ball, and the next thing we knew we were all here.”

“There’s nothing to eat here,” a smaller litwick piped up. “We almost disappeared from starvation!”

Er... I'm not sure what happens when you die in the Voidlands, but I'm getting the feeling that we're going to find out this chapter. 😰

“But then you showed up,” said a fourth, quieter litwick. “A lot of us owe you our lives.”

Riolu set down what was left of his roots. [ ]

“So there’s really nothing for you guys to eat here?” he asked.

Might have merited expanding the bit where Riolu sets down what's left of his meal a bit. Makes it a bit of a more memorable break in between all the dialogue.

Riolu: "Because that bodes really poorly for how nutritious those roots I just ate really were."

One of the litwick shook their heads. “No living creatures,” they said. “Nothing to feed off of.”

Riolu stared at the ground. “And if I leave you…” he began. “…You’ll just starve again?”

There was silence, but everymon knew the answer to that question.

“…How about we make a deal?” asked one of the litwick. “You just woke up here, right? You must think this place is pretty strange. We’ll protect you! We’ll teach you how to survive here! And all you have to do is feed us!”

Riolu: "... I can already tell that I'm going to regret agreeing to this." >_<;
Litwick: "Need I remind you that without someone to help you find food, you're going to starve too?"
Riolu: "Ugh... point."

“Yeah!” the smaller litwick piped up. “The only pokemon you still have to meet is Solosis! And she’ll be back soon!”

“Who’s Solosis?” Riolu asked.

“Our leader,” the first litwick said. “You’ll meet her tonight, after she gets back from There.”

Riolu: "You had another Pokémon to feed off of all this time?!"

Litwick: "Look, she's been gone for a very long time, okay?"

“Where?”

The litwick pointed directly behind Riolu. “There.”

Riolu looked behind himself, to where Litwick was pointing. And then he saw it: A large mountain, wreathed in flame. He quickly stood up and looked up at it. And then he didn’t want to look at it. Riolu shut his eyes and turned away, but the image of the demonic mountain was burned into his brain now. Slowly, he opened them, making sure to look in the other direction.

“W-what is that?” he stammered.

Riolu: "I mean, it's obviously 'someplace I don't want to be anywhere near', but still."

“We call it the Bad Place,” said one of the litwick. “Solosis has another name for it.”

Well, that's certainly direct. Also I'm now reminded of The Good Place as a TV show.

“Another name for what?”

The voice reverberated through Riolu’s head. It came from everywhere and nowhere at once, but Riolu only had to glance where all the other litwick were glancing to find out who was speaking.

It looked like nothing he had ever seen before, a small ball with eyes encased in a larger coating of thick green slime. And it floated.

The large green ball of slime looked around, its eyes settling on Riolu.

“You’re new,” she ‘said’. Despite the distance Riolu heard it as if she was standing right in front of him.

Solosis: "What, never seen a Solosis before?"

Riolu: "Er... not really, no? Everything in my life before the past day is kinda a gaping void." ^^;

“Uh… hi.” Riolu didn’t have the energy to wave in greeting.

Solosis sighed in exhaustion (or as close as it could get to that, Riolu assumed), then floated over.

“Did you find anything?” one of the litwick asked.

“Not yet,” Solosis broadcasted. “I haven’t been able to get close.”

Riolu: "Wait, 'get close'? As in to the obvious hell mountain? Why on earth would you want to go there?" .-.
Solosis: "Shush, I'm getting to an explanation."

Noticing the falling look upon the litwick’s face, Solosis quickly floated over.

“Cheer up! We’ll figure it out soon enough. Maybe I’ll bring some of you with me next time, see if we can make it up that cliff easier.”

There were various murmurs of disappointment and interest from the litwick, but they soon dissipated. Nothing had changed, after all. Solosis herself soon fluttered over to Riolu, then lowered herself to his height.

“So what brings you here?” she asked. “Wait—don’t tell me. You got zapped here too.”

Unsure of what to say, Riolu nodded silently.

Riolu:

Solosis: "Well that much is obvious, but it's a pretty safe bet given that it's happened to everyone we've met so far."

“We haven’t got much, but… we’re the only pokemon for miles out. Trust me. I’ve searched.”

Solosis floated next to Riolu on one end of the clearing, where he sat against the trunk of a dead tree. Out in the middle of the clearing, the litwick amassed in a large flurry of floating candles and blue flames, flying around and socializing with each other at speeds Riolu couldn’t even possibly imagine.

“I’ve been feeding them as much as I can, but I’m only one pokemon when it comes down to it,” Solosis said. “And litwick can’t eat their own negative auras, or we’d never have to worry about this. They were all starving to death until you showed up.”

Oh, so you did have a reason why Solosis alone couldn't keep all the candles lit. I hadn't considered that, but it makes sense.

Riolu connected the dots quickly.

“And…” he said. “You want me to help out?”

Solosis sent him a pleading look he wouldn’t have thought was possible with those beady black eyes.

“Would you?” she asked.

Riolu: "... I know that the alternative is starvation, but I just know that I'm going to regret this." >_<;
Solosis: "Look, you can't pick your friends, alright? Especially in a place like this. So what do you say?"

Riolu was silent for a minute. That should have had an easy answer. He didn’t have anywhere else to go. And… they’d fed him. He’d probably die on his own. But at the same time… did he want to be stuck here for the rest of his life? He looked up at the blood-red sky.

“…Is the sky always like that?” he asked. “It doesn’t feel right.”

“It’s been like that ever since we’ve been here. And wouldn’t you believe it, this is the daytime.”

Riolu: "This is the daytime?!" O_O;
Solosis: "Well, yeah. Did you think that the hellscape you couldn't look straight at a mountain in would be brightly lit at night?"

“Really? What’s it like at night?” Riolu asked.

... Not sure if you really want to know the answer to that at this rate, Riolu. :V

“Black,” Solosis answered. “Even this place can’t take that away.”

Riolu snickered through his nose. It sounded more like a snort.

I... don't think you want to just be giggling at that, Riolu.

“So, what do you think?” Solosis asked, giving him that pleading look once more. “Will you stay with us? Just until we find a way out of here?”

Riolu shrugged. “I guess.”

“Great!” Solosis suddenly sounded much more energetic. [ ]

“Oh, and one more thing you should know,” she quickly said before Riolu could open his mouth in response. “You might hear things in the distance at night. Howls, screeches, pokemon crying out for help… whatever you do, don’t leave the clearing. Got it?”

Well that conversation went places quickly. Maybe a little too quickly since part of me wonders if Solosis' second line would've worked a bit better with a bit of a pause to better show the gears turn in her + Riolu's head.

Riolu: "... What on earth did I just get myself into?"

Riolu’s ears flopped down in confusion. Something wasn’t adding up. “I thought you said we were the only living things here for miles out.”

“I said we were the only pokemon for miles out,” Solosis said. “You’ll steer clear of those, yes?”

Riolu nodded, suddenly looking a lot more fearful.

“Good!” Solosis broadcasted into his head cheerfully, leading him through the clearing. “I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.”

Riolu:

Riolu slept in a pile of dirt near the far side of the clearing that had been bunched up to look like a bed. He felt his stomach grumble a little, but clutched it in silence. The roots had filled him for a bit, but now he was hungry again. He gritted his teeth and bore it in silence. It could wait until morning.

And yet, as the hours ran on, Riolu found himself still wide awake. He shouldn't have been this wide awake—he should have been exhausted from everything that he just happened in the past day—but it felt like his body didn’t want to loosen up. He was still tense, like something was going to spring on him any moment and he had to be ready.

Maybe it was this place that was making him feel like that. Everything was deathly silent. At least, back in the other place, he could hear things chirping as he dug. Here, there was… nothing. It was dead. Everything here was dead.

“Heeeeeeeelp!”

Riolu: "Whelp, I wasn't planning on getting any sleep tonight anyways." O.O

Riolu immediately sat up in his bed of dirt, staring directly at where the voice had come from. It sounded like… he couldn’t really tell what it sounded like, but it had come from very deep in the woods.

You might hear things in the distance at night.

Riolu stared at the trees intently, trying to see anything that might be in the distance. He could only see the absolute darkness that crept out from the treeline.

Whatever you do, don’t leave the clearing. Got it?

That was suddenly a much harder set of instructions to follow. Riolu was scared out of his wits, sure. But if there was somemon that needed help out there…

Riolu: "No, no, this is really not that hard of a set of instructions to follow! Just curl up and cover my ears and pretend that I'm not hearing anything!" o_o;

Riolu slowly rose from his position, taking care not to upset the ghostly forms of the sleeping litwick all around him. Slowly, he tiptoed towards the treeline, trying to get a better idea of what might be out there. His ears pricked up, able to hear the cracking of sticks as something prowled in the distance far off. Another living creature?

He sniffed the air, remembering his heightened sense of smell. He smelled… eww, that was rancid. A disgusting scent wafted in through the trees, regaling Riolu with its foulness. He wrinkled up his nose and stepped back. It smelled like somemon had died long ago and was now rotting. Riolu stood in place, not sure what to do with this information. Maybe he should go wake Solosis—

A loud roar echoed through the trees, biting Riolu’s ears with the force of a hammer. It heightened in pitch until it was the screech of a demon, and then Riolu heard whatever had been prowling through the woods suddenly romp off.

Riolu: "NOPE NOPE NOPE!"

Without thinking, he quickly got back to his bed of dirt and laid down upon it, wide awake and scared witless.

He stayed awake the whole night.

... Didn't read that as 'witless' at first, but yeah. I don't blame Riolu for not falling asleep again after that.

“Rise and shine.”

Slowly coming to. Riolu blinked himself awake, staring up at Solosis. He looked up at her briefly, yawned, then let his head fall back down against the dirt again. He felt tired. What had happened last night?

Slowly, it all came back to him. All the memories of his frightening encounter last night. What was that thin—

“BOO!!”

Riolu jolted awake with a yelp, and the litwick feasted.

Riolu: "See, I knew I was going to regret agreeing to this!" >_>;
Solosis: "Oh hush, I literally go through the same every day."

That was how it went for the next few days. The litwick, experienced and ever-creative in the art of frightening pokemon, found new ways to scare Riolu each day. In return, Riolu got roots to eat from them twice a day and water to drink, and so his belly stayed relatively not-empty. He quickly made friends with a few of them, having nothing else to do all day as they waited for Solosis. The one who had led him here was called Tall-Flame, and the other three litwick in Tall-Flame’s gang were Small-Light, Flicker-Stem, and Violet-Fire. Small-Light had haunted a library for a while, and read a lot of things in books when he wasn’t busy scaring the librarian. Violet-Fire would scare him the worst but ate very little herself, while Flicker-Stem was very young and had known little else but this place. Tall-Flame was adventurous, but also reckless. The other three constantly had to talk him down from pulling several reckless stunts, and it soon became obvious to Riolu that Tall-Flame had found him completely by accident.

Riolu: "So in other words, it was by chance that I didn't get lost and starve to death. Fantastic. I hate this world already." >.<

This wasn’t meant to be permanent. Every day, Solosis would wake Riolu and then leave early, and she would come back an hour before darkness fell, because it wasn’t safe to go out at dark. Riolu had questioned her on several occasions, but Solosis was always very coy about the answers she gave.

“What are those noises?” Riolu asked one day, just after Solosis had come back from wherever she went all day. “I hear them every night. You said they aren’t pokemon. But if everyone can hear those things, then that means there has to be some other sign of life out there, right?”

Solosis sighed, like she wasn’t prepared to answer that question. “Promise me you’ll never go after those voices,” she said, just to him. “They aren’t what they pretend to be.”

“What does that mean??” Riolu pressed, but Solosis refused to communicate with him beyond that.

... Can't tell whether or not Solosis is looking out for Riolu here or having some sort of untoward intention. Since... if you don't want Riolu to try and find out what those voices are for himself, you want to explain clearly what they really are.

“So,” Riolu asked as he bit into a root. His nose wrinkled as he did. They smelled more and more awful with each day, but they were the only thing he had to eat at this point. “What’s up with Solosis? You guys know why she goes to that mountain every day?”

Flicker-Stem floated next to him, staring at the same thing he was: the flame-wreathed mountain in the distance. It was colored the dark shade of rust that everything in this place was colored, and from a distance it seemed almost peaceful. Almost.

I see that Riolu's getting used to the scenery given that he's no longer reflexively flinching away from the sight of that place.

“Solosis calls it Reverse Mountain,” Flicker-Stem said. “She said that in the world—the real world, not this place—there’s a mountain just like it standing right there. And on top of Reverse Mountain is the way back to the real world.”

Oh, so that's why Nuzleaf wants to get to the top of Revelation Mountain.

Riolu chewed his roots silently as he gazed up at it.

“…Then why haven’t we left already?” he asked.

“Because there’s no way up the mountain,” Flicker-Stem said. "It's too hot."

That made Riolu glance at Flicker-Stem in shock.

“Then…” he said, with a mouth full of awful-smelling root. “... We’re stuck here forever?”

Doubtful given the ending of the last chapter, though... who knows really since it was never confirmed where the Barrow Espurr woke up in was world-wise.

Flicker-Stem frowned. “We were already stuck here,” he said. “Every day Solosis goes out to the mountain and looks for a way out of here.”

“But she hasn’t found one yet,” Riolu finished.

“You’re getting it,” Thin-Stem said.

“Then how does she know that there’s a way out on top of the mountain?” Riolu asked. “I don’t think she does,” Flicker-Stem replied. Riolu could hear the doubt beginning to creep into the edges of his voice.

It was a week before anything notable happened.

I wonder if it'd make more sense to end on some sort of mental reaction from Riolu there, and then lead the subsequent scene with the current ending note. Something about that current last paragraph feels like it'd work better as an opener than a closer to a scene.

“You’re awake. Good! I’ve been waiting so very long…

…How long? You were out for quite a while. I was beginning to get worried about you. Although, your mind wouldn’t have survived the trip if I hadn’t put you under. Transferring consciousness between bodies is a big deal, after all!

... Not sure if I want to know how on earth this presence knows this. Since that implies there's been failures in the past where that happened. .-.

Do you remember what we talked about? The questions I asked you? The conclusions we came to together?

Yes… We’re here. We’ve arrived at the Pokemon World. But…

I’m afraid I have to leave you now. However, I trust you’ll be just fine on your own.

Yes, because that worked out so fine for Riolu and didn't almost end in disaster for Espurr in literally the first chapter of the story. I'm beginning to understand how there was such a massive attrition rate of Human Saviors back in GtI times.

You will… If you answered my questions with an honest and open heart, you should have nothing to fear.

And now we must part, dear Espurr. My heart goes out to you, in the new world…

I can see why Dark Matter picked the angle of attack it did to try and shake Espurr's conviction, since... yeah. This presence's framing feels highly ignorant and detached from reality at best. Like if it knew what was going on, this entire framing is Kyubey-tier.

Riolu lay on his bed of dirt, with his eyes squeezed shut. He still heard the voices, but it had been a week, and he’d almost learned to ignore them at this point. Or at least sleep while he heard the howling and screeches that reverberated through the woods. He didn’t think Solosis knew what they were. Maybe she had spent too many nights listening to those voices as they kept her up at night. A few nights of hearing them and Riolu never wanted to hear them again. He rolled away from the woods in front of him, gazing at the sleeping pile of litwick that cast a soft blue glow over the campsite. He was beginning to feel sleepy, and finally the woods had gone silent around him. Perhaps he could get a good night’s worth of sleep this time—

A low rumbling caught Riolu’s ears, and then the sharp noise of something blasting up into the sky made them lower in shock. Riolu quickly sat up, looking around in confusion. His eyes settled in on the new direction: It was due south.

Opening his eyes, Riolu was met with the image of a thin pillar of light streaking up into the sky. That was… using the mountain as a landmark, Riolu quickly checked. That was to the southeast.

Riolu: "Well that's certainly new..."

Somemon very, very far away glanced out from his tent to watch the large pillar of light brightening up the sky to the southwest.

“Interesting…” Wartortle muttered to himself.

Oh, so there were survivors from the Pokémon Plaza rescue guild after all. For a second I thought the plot just went ahead and killed them all off.

Riolu looked one way, then the other. Then back at the stream again. It didn’t look that far off, but… Did it make sense to leave the clearing to go looking for it? Riolu was torn.

It was a few minutes before he properly decided. Quietly, Riolu crept off his bed of dirt, and took a few hesitant steps towards the treeline. It would just be there and back again. No sweat. And if he found something, then it was even better! That made up Riolu’s mind. He took a few more confident steps, and then sprinted for the treeline.

He ran through the woods, heading due south. Looking up, he could still see the stream flaring up in the sky. It looked no larger than it had before.

I mean, staying as an emotional battery to like a dozen Litwick surely was neither sustainable nor healthy, but still.

He'd grown good enough at using his feet now that he could run without looking at the ground. He closed his eyes, and let himself focus on what was in front of him instead—

A tree branch sent Riolu stumbling to his feet, and he struggled to pick himself up and continue onward. Okay. He’d keep his eyes on the ground from now on.

Before long, the forest ended. Riolu found himself stumbling to a stop in a second large clearing. He looked around in confusion.

He stood in the middle of what looked like a village, but it was almost completely leveled—no building still had its roof intact, and many of the houses had been leveled from the top half up. [Many of the deeper cracks didn’t even extend a foot off the ground. Which was half as tall as he was, but several feet short of a complete building.]

Oh. This is when Pokémon Plaza got destroyed.... I think.

I also feel something is off about the formulation of the last two sentences. It might follow a bit better to say something like to make it more explicit that these are cracks in walls and not in the ground, assuming that's what they are:

Many of the deeper cracks in the walls didn't even extend a foot off the ground. It was half as tall as he was, but several feet short of a building's complete height.

Or something like that.

The light had slowly died down by now. Riolu looked upwards towards the sky to see that the large flare of light was thinning. It threatened to leave Riolu in complete darkness, but lit up the area just enough for him to see.

In the distance behind him, a stick snapped. Riolu glanced back towards the woods from which he had come anxiously. Was something there?

On instinct, Riolu hid behind one of the building’s walls, crouching down to avoid being seen. [Something was out there, and he knew there was only one thing it could have been.]

Slowly, he heard it stomp around. The footsteps were heavy, like the creature they belonged to was bulky. Riolu barely dared to breathe.

... Actually wait, how does Riolu know what this is when the entire time, he's never gotten a good look at the presences in the woods but only heard them?

Though it might make sense to beat it over the audience's head that "it must be those monsters I was hearing in the woods", since it didn't quite come through for whatever reason.

He stayed like that for a minute, breathing as silently as he could with his paws clenching the rust-red dust on the ground. He heard the monster stomp around a bit more, almost like it was looking around for something. It sniffed the air audibly. It smelled him.

Riolu decided to take a peek. If he was going to decide on a good course of action, he at least needed to know what he was dealing with first. Ever-so-slowly, he twisted his head around the stone wall he was hiding behind, trying to get a good look at what was in the middle of the village square.

The only reason he could see it was because it was blacker than anything else. It looked without a stable form, and Riolu saw it dripping black fluid onto the ground as it walked. He took a heavy breath, trying to stomach what he was seeing. His teeth began to chatter, and he realized his whole body was trembling.

Riolu: "... At this rate, I'm starting to wonder if I can do anything other than curl up in a ball and cry here."

The monster suddenly snapped its head towards where Riolu was hiding, and Riolu quickly pulled his head back behind the wall. He heard the monster begin to stomp again, and each stomp was getting louder and louder…

…It knew where he was. Riolu had to act. He sprung up from where he was sitting, dashing down the beaten path southwards once more. He heard its horrible screech sound from behind him as he ran.

Riolu: "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!"

So panicked and focused on getting away, Riolu didn’t see much of where he went. It was the ruins of a town, that much he knew – a destroyed house here, the ruins of a bridge there – but he was more focused upon outrunning the thing that had taken chase after him. He could hear it galloping after him as he went. And it was gaining ground. If Riolu didn’t do something fast to throw it off, he was going to get caught.

A sudden scent invaded his nostrils, the same one that he’d smelled in varying quantities as far back as he could remember. But this one was incredibly strong. Maybe… Riolu quickly took a hard right, heading southeast into the forest, and then dived behind the trunk of a dead oak. He remained completely quiet. The monster galloped past, not even sparing a look towards the forest as it passed. Riolu waited half a minute to uncup his paw from over his nose. Then, once he was sure it was safe (or about as safe as it was going to be in a place like this), he continued onward.

Riolu: "I-I regret everything." @.@

Riolu walked now. He stepped through the woods carefully, too afraid to do anything that could lead to making noise and setting the monster back on his trail. As he walked, he followed the smell of slow decay, which was only getting stronger as he headed southwest. And soon, he came upon the source of the smell: What looked like a strange amalgamation of a tree and a beating heart. Riolu watched it perplexedly as it slowly thumped, and his eyes followed it downwards to all the roots snaking out from under it.

Most of the roots had been chopped and severed off somewhere, and when Riolu leaned over to investigate he realized the smell was coming from there. He quickly sat up, actively repelled by the stench. These were the same roots he’d been eating since he got here. Was this where they all came from? He looked up at the beating heart once more, noticing how it was beginning to shrivel up at the bottom from lack of nutrients. Riolu tilted his head, perplexed.

Riolu: "Pretty sure I didn't need to find this out, but okay." 🤢

As disgusting as the roots smelled and looked, they were there, so Riolu—reluctantly—ate. And once he was sure that the monster wouldn’t be coming back for him, he slept.

Riolu: "Pretty sure Solosis is going to knock me into next week for this if I live to see her again, but one problem at a time here." >_>;

For so long It had gone without any other creatures within its domain. For 10,000 years It had traversed the cursed lands It inhabited all alone. It had been 10,000 years since It and Its brethren had last feasted. And now they would feast again.

Living beings were returning to the Voidlands, a sign of much greater things to come. It salivated at the prospect of even more creatures to devour. It prowled through the woods, tracking the scent of the one It had chased. The scent reached a dead end once the smell of a distortion hub nearby became too strong, so It followed the track leading the other way. It travelled up through the remains of the wrecked village, and over the hill, up towards the direction of the burning mountain. The creature’s stench lead a clear path back to where he had come from. It grinned as it grew eyes and saw light, and then it was Riolu.

[ ] Solosis was roused by the sound of somemon pattering around the camp. She blinked her eyes open sleepily, her gaze settling on Riolu.

It might make sense to expand this bit a bit to show """Riolu""" entering from the woods and settling in, since the present lack of a transition feels a bit jarring.

“Ugh...” she groaned, still trying to get her mind into a state awake enough to deal with the matter at hand. “What are you doing? It’s not like you to be up this early—”

Riolu suddenly sprouted a large black gooey clawed arm, and Solosis barely had any time to react before it slammed down upon her.

Psychic power glowed from under Its arm, and then It was blown back by Solosis, who rose up into the air.

“It’s going to take a bit more than that to get rid of me,” she broadcasted. “Everymon awake! We’ve been found out!!”

Yeah, this is why you should've explained to Riolu why he shouldn't have gone off outside the clearing on his own.

It growled, Solosis' psychic jerk sending a searing pain into Its head for a second. All of the litwick were jolted awake by the sudden sharp signal, and once they saw It the situation was clear. They all quickly began to flee through the woods as fast as they could. The clearing was empty of litwick within seconds.

It snarled through a muzzle that was now only barely riolu. Its feast was escaping! Not if It had anything to say about it. But a sudden Psybeam sent It reeling backwards, and It realized perhaps an appetizer was in order instead.

Solosis shone with light, and then suddenly in her place stood a mighty giratina.

“Have at you!!” the giratina yelled. Then she charged forward.

I guess I should be less surprised given that the Litwick had illusion antics going on canonically in PSMD, but that still took me aback for a bit.

While Riolu told his story, Espurr took a moment to catch her breath and let her brain catch up with the rest of her body. This was obviously a deeper floor of the dungeon, but none of her friends had caught up with her yet. She briefly wondered if they were all oka—

A gurgling noise came from the wall right above Espurr. Riolu glanced at the noise, and Espurr turned around. Not a second too soon. An arm erupted from the wall and grabbed for Espurr’s head. Espurr barely scooted back enough for it to miss, then stumbled to her feet.

“Run!” she cried out, pulling Riolu to his feet and fleeing the dungeon. She heard the shadow exit the wall completely as they both sprinted into the main hallway and took a hard left, but it soon went silent. Espurr heard the echoes of a silent pop reverberate through the hallway, the signal of the monster slipping back into the wall.

Oh, well that's terrifying.

“Keep clear of the walls,” Espurr said once she could no longer hear it. She gravitated towards the center. “It’s not gone. It’s just waiting for a moment to grab us.”

Riolu nodded, still breathing heavily.

They continued down the hall in single file. Espurr made sure she was behind Riolu, just in case. Riolu didn’t seem to mind (if only because he didn’t have to worry about the monster attacking him from behind as much). After a while, Espurr spoke.

“That thing,” she said. “You knew what it was. Mind explaining?”

“Yeah. The pokemon in the Voidlands had a name for them,” Riolu said. “We called them Void Shadows.”

And we got our first explicit namedrop of those beasties from PSMD. Even if they're running on a very different spec from canon here.

Slowly coming to. Riolu yawned himself awake.

After a week of being woken up by somemon scaring him back into existence, it felt strange for Riolu to wake up on his own accord. The sky greeted him instantly, blood-red once more. Riolu stretched, then slowly rose from his position against the weird heart… tree thing. He wrinkled his nose up at the smell. It seemed much more pungent than it had been yesterday, and the strange beating heart looked just a little more shriveled up than it was before.

He ate some more of the roots for breakfast. They were still edible even though they rotted. After finishing the roots, Riolu felt a bit parched. The litwick had always given him some water whenever they had gone out to collect roots, and he’d taken it for granted. But clearly they hadn’t gotten the water from here.

... Wait, is this in the past again, or in the present day? Since the scene tag doesn't exactly make that clear.
[*][1:09 AM]

He had a choice now. Go back to Solosis’ camp, or continue onwards. Riolu looked ahead, where he could still see the remnants of flickering light in the sky. He’d come this far… going back now was a waste. He had to see what had made that light! And more importantly, if it was the key to a way out of here.

And so Riolu made his choice. He turned southeast, checked to make sure the coast was clear, and then hiked off in that direction.

Riolu: "... I should probably feel guiltier about cutting off all those Litwick from their food. But eh. Getting jump scared every morning was getting old." >_>;

It felt like he travelled for hours, across desert dunes of rust-red sand and the occasional ruins of other buildings and forests. Every so often he would come across more beating heart-trees, their roots snaking through the ground in twisted layers almost twenty feet out. Riolu steered clear of them, mostly.

For a while, that was all there was—a desert of red dust. Riolu was beginning to feel hopeless; maybe he’d run out of luck. He was stranded all the way out in the middle of nowhere, with no cover to take, nothing to drink, and no-mon to keep him company. His tongue unfurled from his mouth, parched enough that he was constantly panting. He was all alone. Riolu was really beginning to regret leaving the litwick camp…

Riolu: "Uh... those Litwick are going to manage without me if I don't make it back, right?"

And then he heard noise. Distant noise. The noise of two pokemon talking to each other. Riolu didn’t think twice. He sprinted towards the sound, running up a large red dune of sand.

“Hey!!” he yelled, waving his arms up in the air as he ran. “I’m over here!”

The pair of pokemon who had been making the noise, a brionne and a seviper, turned to look at him as he ran. But suddenly their expressions hardened, and they began to charge up attacks—

Riolu: "N-No wait! Stop! I'm real! I'm real! I'll get hurt if you do that!" O.O;

Riolu only had a second to change his joyful look to one of fear before he was hit with the combined power of pure beams of water and grass energy. Unequipped to handle such a pair of attack, they both sent Riolu flying straight back down the dune he had been climbing. The two pokemon were on him in an instant, and the next thing Riolu knew he was coiled tightly in Seviper’s grip.

Whelp, too late.

“What do you think? Seviper asked Brionne. "A straggler not from the camp, all alone in the middle of this desert? I think he's one of Them."

Brionne looked at Riolu, tied up in Seviper’s grip. “I think he would have changed by now if he was one of Them.”

Seviper looked at her disappointedly. “And that’s what Eddie said the last time this happened! When was the last time you saw him?”

“Not since then,” Brionne sighed through gritted teeth.

“Point in case.” Seviper said. “We should get ‘rid’ of him.”

I wonder, can you basically do the same party general trick as in The Thing of a blood test to ferret out a Void Shadow? Or would they be able to fake that, too?

Riolu: "I-I don't like where this conversation is going one bit."

Brionne looked unsure. [ ]

“But what if he’s for real?” she asked.

“We can’t take that chance,” Seviper pointed out. "He could just be a smart one."

“What are you talking about?” Riolu muttered, regaining his bearings enough to speak again.

[ ]

“See?” Brionne stated, brashly gesturing to him with her flipper. “He speaks.”

“They all speak,” Seviper shrugged. “At first.”

“Give him a chance to explain himself before killing him!” Brionne pleaded. “You yourself said you could tell a Shadow alibi from a real ‘mon.”

Seviper pouted for a moment. Then she hissed in annoyance.

I think that this sequence could use a bit more description to help the readers visualize these two's state of mind a bit better, since there's not a whole lot of that outside of their bare dialogue. Left a couple points where I feel that adding something might expand things.

Charlotte: "Better convince me fast, mutt. Since you're on some seriously thin ice right now." Òv-vÓ
Riolu: "Yeesh, no pressure. I see." ._.;

“Fine,” she said, turning to Riolu. “You. Talk fast. Who are you?”

“Hurting,” Riolu muttered, still way too constricted for comfort within Seviper's coils. Seviper squeezed him for a second, causing Riolu to gasp in pain.

“Not funny. Talk. Who are you?” Seviper stared him down. Riolu stammered.

[ ] Riolu looked into Seviper’s slits-for-eyes, and came to the conclusion that the best option was to talk fast.

Oh hey, the text is actually going in roughly the same direction as the last cutaway. :V

I do wonder if it made sense to expand that last paragraph a bit more, especially since there's quite a bit of dialogue after this point.

Riolu: "I-Is this really necessary?!" @.@
Charlotte: "Until we can confirm you're not a threat, yes."

“I- I- I’m Riolu,” he said. “Just Riolu. I’ve been here for a week.”

“And?” Seviper prompted.

“And what?” Riolu asked.

“Where were you before that?” Seviper hissed.

“I…” Riolu stammered. “I… I don’t know. I think I hit my head pretty badly. Everything’s new to me.”

Something here feels like it ought to have more description of like body language or movement or something, but I'm having trouble putting my finger on where specifically would benefit the most location-wise. Something that might be worth playing around with, especially if Riolu's squirming around from getting constricted.

Seviper sent Brionne a silent ‘See?’ glance. Brionne looked down to the ground. Riolu glanced at her pleadingly. She took a deep breath, then looked at him again.

“Oh. [Well, that sucks.]” Brionne frowned. Her eyes darkened. “But you see why we have to be suspicious of you, right?”

She began to charge up an attack, and Seviper did the same. Riolu scrambled backwards in fear.

“Y-You don’t believe me?” he asked in horror.

Waaaaaait, isn't Riolu still stuck in Charlotte's coils right now? Since he was never described being let out of them in all this. Sure hope Bryony has good aim.

For "Well, that sucks." I think that if you're playing up Bryony's lack of trust, it might make sense to make it a bit more clearly dismissive like "Well, that sucks for you" to emphasize that she thinks Riolu is a Void Shadow.

Also, I'd personally make Riolu stammer his line a bit more in that last paragraph, since it doesn't really come off as "scared" in the present rendering.

“You know what the biggest tell is when somemon’s a Shadow?” Seviper asked. “They never remember anything. They copy the body but not the memories. Most pokemon never see it coming until it’s too late. If you're interested in staying alive…”

The coils around Riolu's body began to tighten just a little. “You nip it in the bud before it can happen.”

And with that, she began to charge up an attack of her own. Riolu looked down at his paws. Could he fight? Should he fight?

Riolu: "... Not sure how that's supposed to work when I can barely move my body, but it's the thought that counts."

“W- Wait!!” he called out, just before the two of them could fire. “I can prove I’m who I say I am!”

That made Brionne hesitate for a minute. She eyed him suspiciously. “Then talk.”

Riolu: "Look, can you stop crushing me for a moment while I'm explaining myself?" >.<
Charlotte: "No. Again. Explain fast."

“I—“ Riolu began, trying to organize his thoughts. “I didn’t wake up in this place, I got zapped here! I woke up in a forest in the middle of nowhere, and these weird pokemon with lights on their arms chased me and hit me with this attack. The next thing I know I’m here. I really have been here for a week.”

“A week? All on your own?” Seviper scoffed. “Likely story.”

“Not alone,” Riolu shook his head. “There’s a whole clan of litwick back in the woods that looked after me. They were looking for a way out of here, but they eat fear. They needed me to give them fear to eat.”

Brionne kept her attack stance, but Riolu could tell she was having second thoughts.

“Why’d you leave?” Seviper asked firmly.

Riolu: "I'm... honestly asking myself that question right about now."

Seviper: "Real answers here, kid."

[ ]

“Last night, I saw this pillar of light appear in the sky. I wanted to go investigate,” Riolu said. I thought I would be there and right back, but it was farther away than I thought. There was something out there in the woods. It tried to chase me, but I got away. And then I came across this place.”

“And you don’t remember anything.”

Riolu shook his head. “Nothing before I woke up in those woods. I’m telling the truth, I swear! If I was one of those monsters that attacked me last night I would have attacked you by now!”

IMO there should probably be some sort of description paragraph either at the start of this block or towards the end of the prior one. Since we've got a lot of sequential dialogue with no breaks here.

Riolu: "(I mean, I technically don't know that, but let's not talk too much about that right now.)" ^^;

Seviper and Brionne exchanged looks.

“It is a complicated alibi for a Shadow,” Brionne admitted.

Seviper sighed. [ ]

"Fine,” she said. “But we’re taking him to Wartortle before anything else happens.”

Would expand that third paragraph there. Also, I'm a little surprised they're taking the Pokémon they don't fully trust anywhere instead of insisting on on-site scrutiny.

The two of them hoisted Riolu up with flippers and tails, and began to drag him across the dunes of rust-red sand. It wasn’t five minutes of walking (or slithering, or… whatever that hopping/sliding thing Brionne was doing was) before the sounds of distant noise began to reach Riolu’s ears. They pricked up, and then so did he. That sounded like…

All the way from where Riolu was to the coastline, long, paw-made tents covered the dusty ground, and occupying those tents were hundreds of living, breathing pokemon, wonderful living beings! Noticing that Riolu was fidgeting a lot in excitement, Brionne and Seviper let Riolu down.

“Don’t run,” Seviper hissed in his ear. Eager not to get on her bad side and feel the crushing sensation of her coils around his midsection again, he hurriedly nodded. Seviper and Brionne led him down towards civilization.

Not that it applies to Riolu here, but words do not begin to describe how terrible of OpSec this entire decision-making process is in a world where you don't want Pokémon you can't trust to know where you sleep at night.

All around there were pokemon going about their day, but none of them paid Riolu any mind. They all looked like they had just reached the end of a very long journey. Seviper and Brionne dragged Riolu towards the center, where a somewhat grander tent stood.

“Where are you taking me?” Riolu asked, looking at the tent.

“Quiet,” said Seviper. “We need to make sure you’re the real deal. Wartortle will see to that.”

Riolu: "And you took me straight to your makeshift town when you don't believe that I'm not a monster why?"

- Beat moment -
Charlotte: "... Dammit, I knew we were missing a step for getting this kid checked out!" >v-v>
Bryony: "Well, we're all dead if we're wrong regardless of if you change here or outside of camp. Might as well just go along and get these last couple doubts dispelled." -_-;

They approached the tent, where a line of pokemon had already amassed. They took issue as Brionne and Seviper pushed past them.

“Hey!” one of them, a joltik, squeaked out angrily. “What’s the deal? No pushing in line!”

“This is important,” Seviper hissed back.

“We found an outsider,” Brionne quickly added, hoping to avoid a conflict. "It's urgent."

The joltik looked mighty annoyed, but settled for grumbling to itself instead. It cleared the way for Brionne and Seviper to pass.

Riolu: "I don't know if I should be relieved, or really, really worried at the sheer lack of worry and skepticism from anyone else towards me." .-.
Bryony: "In our defense, Charlotte is holding you pretty firmly with her body." >_>;

They dragged Riolu into the tent, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the candle-lit darkness. Inside, a largeish, turtle-like pokemon was studying several charts and stone tablets intently.

“Hmm?” he asked as Brionne and Seviper entered. He looked up, his face immediately twisting into something bemused when he saw the three pokemon staring at him from the doorway. He set the tablet aside. “And do what do I owe the pleasure of seeing the two of you? ...And apparently a strangled riolu,” he added, glancing at Riolu in confusion.

Riolu:

Brionne nudged Riolu forward.

“Explain yourself.”

Riolu did. He told Wartortle about waking up, the strange pokemon who had hunted him down, the litwick, Reverse Mountain, the pillar of light, and his amnesia. All through the story Wartortle nodded and hmmm’d in thought, but he stayed interested. His eyes looked like they were piecing things together even as Riolu said them. At the end, when Riolu had finished talking, Wartortle set aside the stone tablet he had had in his lap, and stared directly at Riolu.

“I think the three of you should stay for a little while,” he said.

Riolu: "Oh thank goodness, he believes me. I think."

“Every so often, the world we live in is struck by a major crisis,” Wartortle began. “Natural disasters, the decay of time, an apocalypse of ice and snow. I’ve lived through it all, and I fear that we are in the midst of another.”

[ ]

“But for every apocalypse, there is a savior. A single Chosen One who must bear the burden of saving the world for all pokemon who live on it,” Wartortle explained. “I was the first of these saviors, sent in to combat a meteor that ran off its natural course. The second worked at the most prestigious exploration guild of its time, and the third helped found the largest city on the planet. If your story is true, then you may very well be the fourth.”

Would recommend hacking up Wartortle's line into a couple parts, broken up with description.

Wartortle: "Let's... just ignore the 20-or-so stillborn ones during the aforementioned ice apocalypse. They don't count." ^^;

Riolu and Brionne didn’t make a sound as Wartortle spoke. He picked up one of the tablets, and set it down in front of them. “These tablets were found on the Air Continent, where I and everymon in this encampment come from. They were written in ancient Human text; thus, I am the only ‘mon present who can decipher them without studying their language.” He pushed it towards Riolu. “Read.”

Riolu looked at the tablets, staring at nonsense. He didn’t recognize any of the markings, but when he read over the words he somehow knew what they said.

“We have been here forty-two days now,” Riolu said, his eyes flicking over the nonsense as he read. “There’s no internet. No power. No cell-phone reception. Not another person or pokemon to be seen. These stone tablets are the only method of preserving information now. At night, they come for us, and we cannot keep driving them off. I fear we will not see the morning at this rate. There’s nothing to eat. Nothing to drink. No way out.”

Well, that gives me some ideas of what became of humanity in this world.

Riolu looked at Wartortle, who cleared his throat.

“…It’s an improper translation, but close enough.” Wartortle took back the tablet, but even Riolu could see that his face lit up with hope. “Your story checks out. You are the chosen one. You are the fourth Human. And…” Wartortle’s claws began to shake with excitement.

“There’s a lot we have to go over. If the three of you will stay just a little longer…”

That actually makes me wonder what about Riolu's translation was improper, and if he skipped over words or misread a couple.

Wartortle hopped to life like a slowpoke who had just been given all the energy of a young pichu. He sprinted to and from all the old books and tablets that lay around his tent, arranging things like a presentation. The line outside had been called off long ago. Off to the side, Riolu and Brionne were made to sit. Seviper had left long ago.

“So who is Wartortle?” Riolu asked as he leaned against the tent. “He looks important.”

“He is important,” Brionne said. “He’s the leader of the Rescuer’s Guild in Pokemon Plaza. Or… he’s the last living leader. This is the happiest I’ve seen him in a while.”

“Last living?” Riolu asked. “What happened to the others?”

“What do you think happened?” Brionne lowered her voice, then looked at Wartortle to make sure he hadn’t heard. He was still stacking books. “Void Shadow got ‘em.”

... That actually makes me wonder if those destroyed statues that were spotted in Pokémon Plaza correlate with Pokémon that died again out in the Voidlands. Since from that line and the description of the size of Pokémon Plaza versus what remains, it's obvious there's been some attrition.

“Are the Shadows those monsters that come out at night?” Riolu pried.

“Yes,” Brionne answered in a whisper. “They… they absorb pokemon. Wartortle has a few theories on what happens after that, but we don’t know where they go. And his theories are… far-fetched, for lack of a better word. I think he’s too hopeful, honestly.”

Riolu nodded silently.

Considering the overall vibe of this story... yeah, I'll take the over on Wartortle's theories being nicer than the actual reality. ^^;

Though part of me wonders if there should've been some description of Wartortle futzing around in the background or something as a dialogue break towards the beginning of this bit or the end of the last one.

“There’s one Void Shadow in particular you need to watch out for,” Brionne continued. “Wartortle calls it Nyarlathotep, from some book he read. It’s bigger than all the others. Stronger. We think it commands them.” She leaned in close. “That’s what killed the rest of Team Go-Getters.”

That... is a surprisingly fitting epithet for a changeling entity. Also, that last sentence...

“All ready!” Wartortle gestured from the other side of the tent. “Both of you, over here. I need to show you what I’ve been planning to get us out of here.”

He pushed another tablet towards Riolu. “That last tablet I gave you wasn’t the whole story. There is a whole series of these, which I have poured over relentlessly. This is the only one that matters. Read.”

“Last week one of ours went on a journey towards the mountain,” Riolu read. “Today we saw it erupt in a pillar of light that stayed in the sky for over a day. Tomorrow, we hope to complete the same journey. This will be the last entry I leave here. I wish well to any others who find this stone. May you also escape this evil place.”

[ ]

“Now initially, my plan was to give us some time to rest before we continue on towards the mountain. Our journey here was long and relentless. But then that beam of light shooting up into the sky! And then we met you… it must be a sign. We set out tomorrow. Huzzah!!” Wartortle jumped into the air in joy, then quickly hurry-scurried towards the entrance of the tent.

I think that you're missing a bit of a transition from Riolu reading the tablet to Wartortle's dialogue. It'd probably feel a bit less sudden if you did something like have Riolu react to it a bit and then have Wartortle show off some body language or something as he poked in.

“Hey,” he said to the furret guarding the tent, his voice hushed and joyful. “Give the order. We leave tomorrow, for a way back to the real world! Spread the good news!”

The furret’s dull face brightened up. It nodded eagerly, before scampering off in manic excitement. Wartortle turned back to Brionne and Riolu. “Bryony, you are not to let him out of your sight the whole way there!”

Riolu looked at Brionne after Wartortle had gone. She grinned sheepishly; whether it was out of embarrassment or general excitement Riolu couldn’t tell.

“And… yeah. Bryony’s my name,” she said. “Might as well learn it.”

The Furret detail IMO probably should've been established earlier as a background detail, whether earlier on in this scene or in one of the prior ones as Riolu was getting drug in.

“So you’re a Human,” Espurr said as they hiked. “Just like me.”

“Yeah,” Riolu breathed. “Been here a month.” He took a turn down another corridor, and Espurr followed. Then it clicked. He looked back, staring at her in shock.

“Wait—you’re a Human too?” he asked in shock. Espurr nodded. Riolu quickened his pace.

“Then you need to stick with me,” he said. “The sooner we can leave this place, the better,” he said. “We just need to find the stairs.”

Espurr: "Okay, aside from the obvious of self-preservation, why? Since I'm not sure if I follow here."

“I can’t.” Espurr shook her head.

“Wha—“ Riolu turned around. “Why not?”

“I came here with five other pokemon,” Espurr said. “They’re still up in the dungeon. I’m not leaving without them.”

Riolu was still for a minute. There was a brief silence in between them.

“It’s here in the dungeon, you know,” Riolu said. “Nyarlathotep. And if you guys got separated, then… your friends are probably dead. Sorry to say.”

Well this day just keeps getting better and better for Espurr.

No. That wasn’t true. Espurr refused to believe that. She shook her head silently. There had to be a way to tell. There just had to be…

Espurr shut her eyes, and reached out with her sixth sense. Somewhere, if she reached far enough, there just had to be some kind of tell, some evidence that they were still alive. Because if they weren’t she didn’t…

Espurr experienced something completely foreign to her in her three weeks of life—a single tear fell down her cheek. And her eyes were brimming up with more of them. She squinted them shut, forcing the tears out. Breathing heavily, she wiped them from her eyelids, fighting back the pressure that was beginning to build under her ear-flaps. No. She couldn’t break down. Not here. Not now. Not when she knew they were still alive. And she knew they were still alive. They had to be. She’d figure out why she knew later, she’d find some reason, some train of logic—

I mean we as readers know they're alright. Or at least for now, but that's still a feelzy moment there.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true,” Riolu stressed from where he was standing. “If we don’t get out of here, then none of us are leaving—”

The walls began to shift again around them, accompanied by a gurgling noise. Espurr’s head snapped towards it; she gladly took the opportunity to banish the grief from her head.

“We stayed still too long,” she said. “Run!”

An arm shot out of the goo, and both Espurr and Riolu sprang into action.

Riolu: "Still think your friends are alive?" 😐
Espurr: "Sh-Shut up! I'm allowed to have hope here!" >_>;

Riolu awoke to the sound of distant chaos outside. The flaps of the tent they were in were being battered by a strong wind. If it weren’t sealed they would have been blown off by now. Alongside him, Bryony rose, looking at the same thing.

Opening the tent flaps, they saw that the camp had devolved into a frenzied chaos. And the reason dawned upon them quickly: In the distance to the north, a wall of red dust was approaching. It howled and raged, bringing winds stronger than the ones battering the tents now, and it was going to swallow their camp in just—

—Riolu’s vision suddenly swam with red particles. Dust engulfed the camp, and the strong winds howled and threatened to blow the tents clean away. It was nearly impossible to see more than six feet in either direction. It was all Riolu could do to keep the dust out of his eyes, and any of the pokemon he could see around him were doing the same. Even Bryony was squinting.

Then, over the raging winds, clearly audible above it all: A loud, droning roar that heightened in pitch until it was a bloodcurdling screech.

“VOID SHADOW!” came an accompanying shout through the dust that was much closer.

Well I guess that would explain why Wartortle isn't present here and now with Riolu.

The pokemon in the immediate vicinity quickly started to panic even more. [ ]

“It’s Nyarlathotep!”

“It’s coming for us!”

“Calm down!” Even the raging and howling of the storm wasn’t enough to trump Wartortle’s shout. “They’re still far out. We have enough time to prepare. Anymon able to fight, join me at the front lines. The rest of you start the pack up process. We need to retreat.”

[ ] “What’s happening?” Riolu asked.

“Shadows,” Byrony said. “They’re attacking.”

IMO, there's two bits here that stand to have more expansion.

One would be to expand the first paragraph to give a better feel for what that chaos is like. For instance, are some Pokémon going for their items? Are some cowering behind others that are stronger? Are others trying to hide? Are others cutting and running? Like the encampment is described being in chaos, but we don't get a lot of detail as to what that looks like.

The other is that it probably makes sense to add some sort of transition between Wartortle's line and Riolu's line right after, as Pokémon follow Wartortle's orders and Riolu has a moment to stare in confusion or something like that. Since that moment of "Wait, what? What's happening?" doesn't fully come through in the existing prose in my opinion.

They were quickly interrupted by a pair of pokemon tromping past them, quicjly headed hurrying off in the direction of the front lines.

“You two!” That was Wartortle. Riolu and Bryony looked back towards the turtle pokemon, who was ushering them back towards him. “With me.”

You have a typo for your second "quickly" there, but I'd recommend changing it entirely to avoid repetition.

Wartortle led them back into an empty side tent and sat them down.

“You’re going with the evacuation caravan. We’ll hold them off at the front lines until everymon’s ready to go.”

“How did they find us?”

“They attack every other week or so,” Bryony explained. “We can outrun them, but they always catch up. But they’ve never had a storm to provide cover before…”

“And the last attack was only a day ago,” Wartortle added, thinking. “If this was a co-incidence, I’ll be darned. The storm is strategic. It lowers our visibility. We’ll be luck to escape with half the camp if we don’t flee effectively.”

I'm... beginning to understand how there's so little of Pokémon Plaza's residents left behind now.

“Guildmaster Wartortle!” The furret from before poked its head into the tent, trying to shake the dust out of its fur. “They’re getting close.”

“Acknowledged,” Wartortle said. He walked back towards the tent, looking back at Riolu and Bryony. “Remember: With the escape caravan. Don’t dawdle.”

Riolu and Bryony nodded.

“Good luck,” Wartortle said. “I’ll see you on the other side.” And then he ducked through the tent flaps. Just like that, he was gone.

That left Riolu and Bryony to sit inside the tent, waiting for the caravan that was supposed to be forming to make itself visible through the storm. The tent flaps stayed wide open, lifted by the storm’s winds, but the caravan never came.

All they could hear were the disturbing sounds in the distance. Distant screams, the crashing of supplies and debris, and more often than anything else, the droning screeches of the void shadows.

Riolu: "In retrospect, maybe it isn't such a bad thing there's a storm raging that's cut visibility to close to zero."

“We should go,” Bryony said, after half a minute of waiting.

“What about the caravan?” Riolu asked.

“I don’t think it’s coming. Somemon usually shows up by now.”

Bryony: "... Also, considering those screams and sounds of smashing objects we just heard..."
Riolu: "... Yeah, point taken. We're leaving."

A sudden explosion of noise nearby caught their attention before anything else could be uttered. It was the sound of several pokemon’s screams, and it was far too close for comfort.

“We can worry about that as it comes,” Bryony hissed over the weather. “Move now.”

Riolu nodded in agreement. Then they both bolted for the tent flaps.

Riolu: "Nope nope nope nope..." O_O;

Rioku peeked out, checking both ways to make sure the coast was clear. A wall of rust slammed into his face, making him retract his snout into the tent almost instantly. He pulled his head back in, coughing. “I can’t see anyth—”

But they could hear. An explosion to the left. The battle was that way.

“This way,” he said, pointing to the right. Bryony nodded, and they quickly slipped out the tent.

The storm had gotten stronger; it was almost impossible to see anything in it. Riolu could barely see the outlines of the other half-packed tents through all the rust-red dust, and he had to squint to keep it out of his eyes.

They ran, away from the battle and all the screaming. There were pokemon dying back there, and the concept was just becoming solidified in his mind. It made him woozy, and only the fear of falling and dying himself stopped him from tripping over his own feet. Riolu heard the shrieks behind him as he ran, and he tried to blot it out with his paws. But his nose and mouth needed the attention more. He covered his nose with them instead.

Riolu: "So much for sleeping soundly anytime soon."

Something enormous suddenly crashed into the tent up ahead of them—

Riolu and Bryony skidded to a stop in their tracks. The monster reared its head, and Riolu saw that it looked like a blaziken but something was very off—

Riolu: "OH COME ON!"

“This way!!” Bryony shouted, and so Riolu did. They went left, hoping the shadow didn’t notice them.

The camp was completely ruined by now. Tents had been torn off their foundations by the storm’s wind. Wares and belongings lay speared on debris and flew through the air. Everything was in shambles, and the few pokemon that could be seen were either running around in terror or helplessly looking for others in vain. The scene was still a sea of red rust, and neither Riolu nor Bryony could see more than a few feet out. They didn’t know which direction to run in anymore. Where was the front line—no, where had it been? And where was the way out?

“Which way do we go??” Riolu yelled out to Bryony over the howling of the wind.

Well that evacuation totally went smoothly. Totally.

Bryony looked around. “There has to be somewhere!” she yelled back to him. “I—I don’t know! I don’t—“ she continued to stammer to herself, looking for some way ahead, any way ahead. There was a loud thud behind them. The thud of a loud footstep. Riolu spun around to see that the blaziken from before was stomping towards them. Scarlet feathers retreated into its body, replaced with black goo that oozed out from the gaps. Black, muscular arms stretched out of its form, and impossibly sharp claws speared the sand. An uncanny mouth of fangs glistened amongst an ovular head black as the rest of it. Dropping down into a hunch, the Void Shadow let out a beckoning call that droned up on into a screech.

“R-run!” Riolu stammered out, and suddenly the direction they ran in wasn’t an issue anymore. He and Bryony turned tail to flee the best they could.

The Void Shadow bounded towards them, closing the gap in no time. It batted Bryony to the side effortlessly and lunged for Riolu—

Riolu: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

“Oi!”

A cascade of water slammed into the Void Shadow from the side, sending it flying off into the distance. He looked over to see Wartortle approaching through the storm from the opposite direction. His right leg had been twisted out of shape; he was limping over to where Riolu was intently.

Bryony had made her way back over to Riolu at this point.

“Wartortle!” she cried out. “Sir! Are you okay?”

“Go,” he said urgently. “You’re too important to lose.”

“Come with us!” she pleaded.

“I can’t,” Wartortle said. He glanced in the direction the Void Shadow had been thrown, making sure it hadn’t gotten up yet. “Leave while you can.”

“You’re going to die!” Bryony said. “Let us help you!”

Nothing came from Wartortle’s mouth, but his eyes reflected Bryony’s answer: I know.

I had a feeling that things were going to go here, but it's still depressing to actually see it play out given that this is Tricky's hero, and a figure who's inspired hope to untold numbers of Pokémon in this story's setting.

Riolu faltered. [ ]

“Bryony…” he said. “We should go.”

From behind Wartortle, the Void Shadow suddenly bounded out—

Wartortle spun on his feet and blasted the Void Shadow back with another torrent of water. The Void Shadow was sent flying back once again; the motion of turning on his right leg around sent Wartortle falling to his knees.

He gasped in pain, looking at Riolu and Bryony.

“What are you still doing here?” he spat. “Go! Get! Leave!”

I would expand that first paragraph a bit, to show more of Riolu's thought process.

Riolu: "Er... yeah, I think that we should take his advice-"

The Void Shadow approached from the depths of the storm once more. It sniffed the air, and its head snapped towards Riolu and Bryony—

“Oy! Nyarlathotep!” Wartortle cried out from where he was laying, staring the void shadow down. A third water attack poked a sizeable gash in the Shadow’s neck. It wasn’t as effective as it had been before. Nyarlathotep snarled loudly, then spun towards where Wartortle was. Then it bounded over to Wartortle and grabbed him by the neck.

“No! Stop!” Bryony shouted. Nyarlathotep’s attention snapped back to Bryony, but Wartortle bit down upon its hand. A high-pressure water stream blew half of Nyarlathotep’s claws away. His eyes focused on Riolu and Bryony both: Run.

Nyarlathotep screeched in rage. It squeezed its claws down hard, harder, squeezing the breath out of Watortle…

There was a sickening snap, and Wartortle went limp.

In the deserted main square of Pokemon Plaza, hundreds of stone statues began to quiver in place. A high-pitched hum reverberated all around the plaza. Then the statues all exploded into shards and slivers of stone.

Oh boy, I was right about how the statues got wrecked. ._.

Though I wonder if logically, it should've gone more as a sequence of a few at a time until none were left as Pokémon got picked off instead of everyone's statues exploding at once.

Nyarlathotep’s body seemed to expand. The mangled remains of Wartortle were sucked into Its chest, and then Nyarlathotep Itself turned back to look at Riolu and Bryony.

But they were already gone.

They both ran, though the wreckage of broken and burning tents. Through the relentless dust storm. Through the silence, the everlasting, ever-burning silence, until there was nothing but dust and the howling of the wind. All the Void Shadows were gone. Riolu and Bryony collapsed in a sand hovel on the other side of the hill.

Silence remained, because there was nothing to say. At some point, the two of them drifted off, among the howling winds and the sea of red outside their burrow.

Only Nyarlathotep’s horrific screeches kept them company.

Surprised one or both of them didn't break down crying after that since they just watched their leader get killed and eaten in horrific fashion and as far as they know, everyone they've known from the encampment has met a similar fate. Especially Bryony, but I suppose having to already go through this song and dance a few times might numb a 'mon to such sentiments.

Definitely one hell of a way to end a chapter there.

As for my overall thoughts. I liked it, though I can see what you were talking about in the past when you said this was a two-parter, since yeah. I can already tell that I'm going to be in quite a bit of suspense until I see the rest of how this shakes out. Both in the story of how Riolu made it to the normal world, and in what on earth is going to happen to the Serenity Village gang, since... yeah, they're in a lot more trouble than the last chapter indicated. The chapter was probably long enough that it could've been hacked up in two, but I was honestly too engrossed in it to really notice the length tonight.

As for things I didn't like. I felt there were some parts here and there that really could've used more description either to set the scene or give more insight into how things are ticking. Also, while Riolu couldn't have logically known about what would happen had he snuck off from the Litwick, he kinda comes off as basically forgetting about them in the wake of him going off after the light he sees. Like even if Solosis pulled through in that fight with the Void Shadow, they're all in a really bad spot thanks to Riolu's decision, and he's never really depicted stopping and worrying about them, or given a firm reason for not attempting to go back for them given that they kept him alive for the first week in the Voidlands. I'm not sure if that was an intentional thing for Riolu's character or not, but it's something that I noticed.

All-in-all, kudos on the chapter @SparklingEspeon . I had quite a bit of fun with it, in the "gut punch" sort of fun, and I'm looking forward to crossing paths with your story again in the future.

 

[kintsugi]

Hey Espy, here for your Blitz prize, covering chapters 16-18!

In broad strokes, there's a lot coming together in these chapters, some in ways that I'd expected and some in ways that I hadn't. The supply chain shortage messages at the beginning of each chapter gradually chaining into Eevee having to go further out for wood chaining into the kids not being able to build a treehouse--it's fun watching the encroaching disaster slowly inch its way over to the kids, and this one little town that's gradually going to be pulled into something much larger. I'm glad that we saw some resolution with Deerling and Tricky as well (specifically with Deerling; she seemed like a very critical character to revisit with all of this), but the beheeyem reappearing puts a lot of pressure on this pot in a way that was really welcome--they have a common enemy for a short period of time, but the underlying issues between them are only further exacerbated. I like the parallels here as well, with both Tricky and Espurr hiding some shadowy nemesis part of their lives in a way that ultimately places their friends at risk; this is especially fun to see in the context of Deerling saying Tricky's an unlucky disaster magnet who will hurt the people around her, when Espurr's literally the one who can't explain why these super-powerful super-terrifying aliens are popping out of the woods to run her down with no regard for anyone in the way. And this isn't to pass judgment on any of these characters or anything; I think their motivations are all pretty reasonable and well-communicated in the story at this point--it's just really fun when a lot of characters are doing their best idea of what a good idea is, are completely unaware of the potential repercussions of their actions, and then their actions come back to bite them.

The buizel bits were also interesting, since that seems to be payoff to the Lapras/Archen/Mawile stuff from waaay back, and the guild sidestory in general. And also that one throwaway joke about Grass Continent pokemon pooping where they want. I see more what you mean about wanting to convey sense of scale, and I do think that the POV switches help a lot with that--more on these themes that the disaster is something larger than the schoolyard drama, but it's coming to overtake the schoolyard drama again. I realize that the choice of which pokemon are turning to stone (I thought Lapras was just kinda a regular person, but now that it's Rayquaza/Lugia I'm guessing that there's greater global significance), the fact that they're turning to stone, etc for people who have played the games, but as PMD-blind I still think the mystery is building in a neat way (and in a way that's probably thoroughly less-mysterious if you've played the games, lol). Sparkleglimmer and Ninetales together are a neat duo to introduce; I love the way you convey their respect/familiarity with one another as well as Ninetales's relative age/history, and then it segues slightly into the more nightmarish territory with the emotional manipulation ... based on the art and general direction of this story, I'm sure that these are one-off characters and there won't be further consequences and fallout from this dynamic about a vaguely empathetic catlike entity feeling the pressure to protect the world and also her single-minded firefox friend ...

(It's a little harder to provide more pacing feedback, both since at some point it's a stylistic choice and also there's no way to really write a story that's future-proofed for readers to read the beheeyem prologue in August 2020, the beheeyem + Audino deepstate chapter in December 2020, and then finally get to the beheeyem crashing through the treehouse chapter in March 2022 + some unknown amount of editing that you've done between these times--I imagine if I'd read these all in one sitting I'd be able to appreciate the setup/payoffs a lot more, so I'm sorry about that! And it's hard, of course, to try to comment on overarching tone when I'm probably only 20% into the story--ultimately a lot of the analysis I'm more comfortable with just doesn't apply to this kind of review, where I have to close my eyes and guess what I think the rest of the story is going to be at at arbitrarily assigned breakpoints lol).

I also think these chapters do a great job of showing off the specific blindness of this group of children, and the silliness of this town--these are two things that I think help sell the Tricky storyline in general, so if these were part of the backedits I think they were super helpful. Watchog lovingly guarding the school library, which is sorted alphabetically by title, is absolutely hilarious, and it does help contextualize why no one in this town seems to understand how to handle Tricky's life better. And a lot of the antics this chapter do feel like things that kids would do: who are the police? Never heard of them? And in general I'm still not sure how the whole ritualistic trial by combat/duel stuff works, but I love that the kids don't really seem to understand it either--"we have to honor both claims" really doesn't make sense in adult situations where conceivably every duel would have two conflicting duel conditions, but in general this whole thing is treated with the weight of a triple dog dare and the kids thinking that this is incredibly serious. It really does feel like they just don't understand the greater weight/implications of their world and are trying their best to staple the rules on, even if they don't quite fit.

And you’re supposed to be a fabled savior of the world, which means that somehow, this world needs saving. Espurr left that part out.

I found myself wishing we got some follow-up to these scenes in the sense of how they affect others, though. The setup of the duel's constraints ("Tricky can't talk to Goomy or Deerling ever" and "Deerling has to be Tricky's friend") are really fun as conflicting actions + a resulting plot, but Tricky ends up talking to Deerling immediately after and neither of them seem to acknowledge that this happened. The resulting conversation is nice and gets to the heart of both of their motivations, but it feels weird that they forget about the duel in light of how much importance it seems to get before the fight and how little importance it gets after. Same hat with the beheeyem attack, I think, as well as Espurr's empath/psychic powers. I liked the ominous buildup of the thing in her dresser, but when it gets immediately fixed on the third appearance when she decides that it's the last straw and she could just use her sixth sense to fix it, the previous appearances feel suddenly very underwhelming--this is something she could've fixed whenever she wanted. Her sensing Watchog's emotions in the library scene came a bit out of nowhere as well--there are certainly places before and after that it'd be helpful for her to do this, and it's not entirely clear when she chooses to turn this on/off. Espurr struggling with her perceived burden to save the world + the fact that she treats it as mechanically confirmed, came a bit out of left field for me. I'm not sure how much of this is rewrites or me forgetting, so please take with a grain of salt--but per our Discord convos I do think this kind of struggle would be super helpful to emphasize in more places, since it does shed a lot of light on why Espurr would be doing these reckless things (seemingly) out of nowhere.

(And I think a lot of these have the same answer of "they're kids, and they're making bad decisions because they're flawed characters"--which is totally a valid answer, but I wanted a bit more telegraphing for that. For example, maybe Espurr doesn't use her empath powers on her friends because she think it's invasive, or Deerling calls her a freak once when she does it and she's afraid of being ostracized if she does it around them again, so she becomes really conscious of using her powers even when no one's watching and there's a strange thing in her wardrobe. Or Deerling wants to get answers from Tricky but realizes it's useless because Tricky is rigorously following the rules of the duel and can't answer Deerling's questions, so Deerling just says fuck it, the duel was stupid and we probably don't know how the rules work anyway, anyway, why are you doing this?? Not sure! But in general, psychic/empathetic protagonists tend to break the plot pretty hard because a lot of mysteries, supernatural, and character secrets can be cracked right open and it's inherently weird if the character doesn't choose to solve them--but again, I think it's something you can write around via specific character flaws)

Where we go next, and some pure speculation:

“The Crooked ‘Mon.

The Crooked House is this kind of fun thing that's just been looming in the background, ominously. It feels sort of like Espurr's version of Poliwrath Swamp; it's this thing that she's gone off and done on her own, but the consequences are going to be coming for everyone. The whole BREAK THE SEAL THE SEAL IS BROKEN metatext worked really well, and in context with the final "Hello" and what we know of other characters who receive subliminal messaging (mostly thinking Primarina) + how it preys on their insecurities + what we're seeing of Espurr's motivations coming further to the forefront ... things feel like they're about to go sideways really quickly, lol.

Some misc linequotes, grammar/typos only:

Spoiler

nails were a bit too out there for rescue mission awards.

I think you want "rewards" here (since that's what you were using to refer to the payouts of rescue missions previously--otherwise it's not strictly grammatically incorrect or anything, just not consistent with the previous paragraph).

“Argh don’t do that!”

> "Argh, don't do that"

Al part of the plan.

> All

Espurr didn’t dare breath.

> breathe

To him, the place was empty.

I couldn't tell if this was because she was hiding well or Espurr was doing some sort of illusion/mental manipulation? I know the other two aren't really in her purview at the moment, but "to him" muddled that a bit for me. I think it'd read a little more clearly as "He didn't seem to see anything" (Espurr POV).

“Hey Mom!“

> "Hey, Mom!"

“why foo ‘ere?”

I actually acted this one out! I think she's trying to say "Why you here?", but the 'yuh' sound in 'you' doesn't really get obstructed by holding objects in your teeth since it doesn't require any tooth/lip movement and it's all tongue. I think there's probably a "shut up kint, foxes don't speak english so they shouldn't be bound by our understanding of linguistics" argument here though.

For the first time in her life, Tricky felt trapped—

I wasn't sure if this was intentional exaggeration of "for the first time in her life" or if I'm supposed to take the previous harrowing incidents as not making Tricky feel trapped (which did feel odd because she has a dream sequence later where she dreams like she's being sucked into the mud in the poliwrath swamp, which seems super trapping in an emotional sense).

Espurr heard rustling once more, and then Eevee trotted out into the square; her fur looking ragged and full of sticks and dirt.

> Espurr heard rustling once more, and then Eevee trotted out into the square, her fur looking ragged and full of sticks and dirt.

Espurr hadn’t remembered a day in which it hadn’t been hot outside of a mystery dungeon.

"hadn't" is an odd use of past-participle that implies that, at a time previous to the time that this observation was being made, she had tried and failed to remember a day in which it hadn't been hot. I think you want "couldn't remember" here if you aren't trying to say that.

“They’ll be back,” breathed Espurr. “We need to get back to the village. Now.”

~\({O})/~​

“Go!” Tricky yelled.

I wasn't quite sure why there was a scene break here, since the POV doesn't swap and the action picks up more or less immediately where the previous scene left off.

He set his sights on the ocean before him, It was a straight line, and the shortest distance between two objects was a straight line.

> He set his sights on the ocean before him. It was a straight line [...]

I thought you were supervising the Gardevoir

I think this is referring to the boat? In which case some italics got dropped in the dialogue here--I know it's not like they're actually saying italicized words, but written dialogue does still keep grammatical conventions (i.e. we don't say capital letters when addressing people by name, but we do capitalize "Hey, Tricky!" when transcribing that dialogue)

and after hearing about what had happened in Pokemon Plaza Ninetales was loath to believe that this was somemon’s idea of a large-scale joke.

> and after hearing about what had happened in Pokemon Plaza, Ninetales was loathe to believe [...]
(the comma is somewhat optional but I'd argue that this is a long enough introductory clause that it's helpful/necessary; "loathe" is there as well)

Quilava marched up to the edge of the cliff, and looked over at the ships. If he was going to be all the way out here, then he might as well make it worth his time. Sure enough, he spotted something being hoisted up between the two ships. Something that did look a lot like…

But that was ridiculous. There was no way that was Lugia.

In the previous chapter he seems to recognize that it's pretty clearly something that looks like Lugia, he just thinks it's a statue that looks like Lugia rather than the real Lugia. But "Something that did look a lot like..." makes it seem like the issue from before was that he didn't recognize that it resembled Lugia, rather than him not thinking it was the real thing. I think the intended emphasis was more on him realizing that people wouldn't take that much effort to immediately pull the statue out of the water unless it was the real Lugia or something, and he's realizing his previous assessment that it was a statue doesn't track with everyone else's reactions to it.

“Interesting,” Deerling said, breaking the silence. “I’ve never heard that one before.”

I really liked the payoff of having Espurr panic and talk about herself, and then Deerling seeing through this.

 

[Dragonfree]

Hey! I'm here for Catnip, having read the intro and prologue.

When I’m done, you won’t remember anything about this conversation, or who you were before. Maybe that’s for the best. I need a pure soul, a blank slate. Something untarnished by It.

Intriguing opening! Immediately piques my curiosity. The imagery and descriptions here also make me curious. Great intro, all in all.

This happened before not now.

There should be a comma before "not now". You also had "see them feel them hear them" with no commas, but there I took it to be intentionally done for effect; I'm not sure I see an intentional purpose to it here.

the dictatorial Helping Adventurous Pokemon Prosper Institute

Oh boy

There are no unskippable chapters in this fic,

I think you meant "no skippable chapters", presumably!

The opening of the prologue is interesting - good descriptions of sensations, and a distinct sense that Espurr notices her body isn't how it's supposed to be but nonetheless doesn't exactly react like she's just turned into a Pokémon, does she. Fingers smaller than they should be, tongue flatter than it should be, but she only seems to notice in a very abstract sort of way, and it feels hugely weird (in a way that feels intentional). It's very distinct; continues to hold my interest.

Black sparks began to collect around the strange pokemons' blinkers, and suddenly a large, shadowy ball materialized out of nowhere and flew straight at Espurr—

I would have chalked the pluralization of "pokemons" up to Espurr only having become aware of Pokémon a minute ago, but just earlier the narration said "four pokemon", so there it seemed she did know how to pluralize it.

A distant trickling surfaced in her head—following the river always lead home.

You want 'led' here.

Curled up in a tree branch just large enough to not risk falling from in her sleep, Espurr dreamt horrible dreams of a black void of nothingness. An In Between of nothing but horribly impossible black, and she dreamt of nothing. Because there was nothing to dream of. Nothing to remember, and nothing to fill her dreams. In her addled state, with her mind blank and black as her in between, she somehow understood that. And briefly, in the absence of her dreams, came something else.

The underlines are delightfully unsettling. I have no idea what the fuck is going on here but I fear it.

That being said, if I ignore the underlines and just read the words, this feels a bit clunky. She dreamt dreams of a black void of nothingness, which is black, but actually it's nothing, because there wasn't anything to dream of? This is either repetitive or self-contradictory or both. I think you could do better here. (I'm also not sure what you mean by "an in between" here; maybe it's some kind of existing concept but it reads pretty weirdly.)

A sudden wind ruffled Espurr's fur, coming out of nowhere and leaving as quickly as it had arrived. The rancid scent of something that was dead blasted her in the face as it passed. It somehow smelled evil, just like everything else in this place did. She watched it blow off, violently rattling the branches and canopies of a few trees as it went. It certainly hadn't been natural. They were waiting for something… was it that? Espurr wasn’t waiting around to find out.

Ominouser and ominouser. (Guessing this is the entity that "saw her" in the dream?)

The poor pokemon only had enough time to look in its general direction before she was hit with a strong blast of the foul-smelling gust.

This was a little jarring to me since we've been close on Espurr's perspective the whole time, and she would hardly think of herself as "the poor Pokémon", right?

It knocked Espurr far off-course, her outstretched paws barely missing the branch by a hair's length before she began the heart-wrenching journey towards the ground.

I think usually the expression is "a hair's breadth", since a hair can technically be pretty long. It also feels odd to call the fall "heart-wrenching" - I feel like that's usually a word used to describe something emotional, not scary?

And just bearing the immense pain was taking a lot of her.

Isn't it 'taking a lot out of her'?

The rancid wind whirled around her and buffeted her with a howl that sounded almost like a laugh, like was taking some kind of twisted delight in her misfortune.

"Like it was...", presumably?

Fresh-picked herbs were always available on the Air and Grass Continents, but rarely grew anywhere on the Water Continent. They were vital to Audino's medical practices, but somehow they were always the hardest thing to get ahold of. She could always get them from Kecleon, but Kecleon overcharged for them and everymon knew it. She had been lucky to find this clutch of them sitting around the nearby mystery dungeon. Mystery dungeons being what they were, Audino had returned once every month at the full moon—she was superstitious—and found the exact same bush with the exact same clutches of herbs growing around it awaiting her.

Enjoy this worldbuilding.

Of course, finding the bush was a different beast entirely—Every time Audino came looking for it, it was always in a different place.

You don't want to capitalize after a dash.

A very intriguing opening! Lots going on, some visceral descriptions of Espurr's physical and mental state, huge sense of danger and alarm right off the bat, and a little bit of worldbuilding for good measure. The really trippy use of formatting to show the enemy getting to Espurr through her dream is so unsettling.

Espurr herself is still a little bit of a blank slate: we've seen her surprised and yet also not by her body, and terrified and running for her life, but it's still a little hard to get a grasp on who she is - but that's probably very much how she feels about it too, isn't it, amnesiac and all! It'll be interesting to see her try to figure out her situation after her pretty harrowing first experiences with the Pokémon world.

Great intrigue and weirdness and tension all in all! I've got a long list and don't know when I might be able to return to this one but the opening is definitely promising.

 

[Sinderella]

ESPY! Here to (finally) finish off my end of our exchange! Chapter 5-8, LESGO!

So I think this is where things have really started to pick up, because a lot happened between these four chapters and I'm living for it. I seemed to have a lot of my questions answered, but a lot more of them have been raised in a way.

Watchog's been pissing me off since he showed up. Like, my gods, cut these damn kids some slack! However, in these chapters I kinda saw him calm down a little bit--I think the moment where Espurr apologized to him and he kind of had a moment of "wow you're actually giving me an apology?" was kinda sweet. It ended up a little undermined by Espurr's ulterior moment, but regained some momentum when he agreed to help her with her test. The most unlikely person to do so imo, might I add. See, he has a soft spot somewhere when he's not on a fucking power trip.

I think my new "I want to beat the fuck out of this character" target is fucking PANCHAM. Tricky is a lot as a character and I would see myself getting emotionally drained by her, but holy shit, the rage I felt at Pancham setting her up to be put into a position where he could just throw rocks at her? That scene was so so so upsetting, all I wanted to do was jump into the text and hug her oh my god. Fantastic job at getting this absolute visceral reaction out of me; I will now be protecting Tricky--now Artemis (love that name) with my fucking life, especially after that flashback we got, and her angsty breakdown, gods my heart. Fabulous angst. However, I wanted to just let you know that there was a part that got repeated.

She kept repeating that phrase. She was breathing heavily now, prancing around the small dead end as fast as she could to convince herself she really was fine. Espurr could see a tug-of-war between yellow and blue circling around her, and blue was slowly beginning to win.

Then she gave up and collapsed in the middle of the ground. Her face was covered by her paws, and she was trembling all over. Espurr slowly crawled forward, before Tricky let out an ugly sob. She stopped where she was, and waited.

It was several minutes before Tricky had quieted down enough that Espurr felt it was safe enough to approach. She quickly checked to make sure that no-mon had caught onto them, then crawled forward.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she said.

She kept repeating that phrase. She was breathing heavily now, prancing around the small dead end as fast as she could to convince herself she really was fine. Espurr could see a tug-of-war between yellow and blue circling around her, and blue was slowly beginning to win.

Then she gave up and collapsed in the middle of the ground. Her face was covered by her paws, and she was trembling all over. Espurr slowly crawled forward, before Tricky let out an ugly sob. She stopped where she was, and waited.

It was several minutes before Tricky had quieted down enough that Espurr felt it was safe enough to approach. She quickly checked to make sure that no-mon had caught onto them, then crawled forward.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she said.

Everyone's giving that girl a hard time for being so goddamn wacky but I think she means well and just needs some Adderall. And therapy. Because damn, she watched her friend die and everyone just kinda be giving her shit for it. Then again, I guess in some vein I can understand why everyone is so AHHH when she runs off to Mystery Dungeons because....yeah they don't need that happening again.

I am with Nurse Audino on wondering why the FUCK these adults just don't seem to give a fuck about the students safety. Something weird is up with that Principal, and it's giving me bad vibes. Side eyeing, might be scum.

Also A LOT happened to Espurr, and I'm excited!! I guess??? She managed to unblock whatever was keeping her from using her abilities because now she's just killing it with that Unown alphabet...AND knows she's human? You left me off on a cliffhanger with that last line to Tricky, but I can only imagine how the hell she's gonna react. And with Ampharos on their tails (heh), it seems like things are heating up. Lots of different threads being presented in these chapters, and I'm (still) very excited to see how everything is going to intertwine. We're on our way!

I guess up to this point, I still don't have a firm grasp on Espurr's character. Even with all of these things, she's still striking me as a blank state--kinda just going with the flow of everything. But, I mean...I wonder if that's the point considering she doesn't remember jack all about herself as it is? Perhaps she really is a walking husk at the moment? That really wouldn't shock me at all.

All in all, fun fucking stuff bro. Thanks for exchanging with me (and being patient with my obscenely slow turnaround lol) and I'll be back as soon as I can <3

 

[SparklingEspeon]

​

Headline Today: Biannual Cloud Nine docking this week overshadowed by Paradise Expansion Project

Even the majestic Cloud Nine needs rest breaks. Twice a year, the government airship docks at Pokemon Paradise for rest, renovation, and repair. However, this winter, something more has been thrown into the mix. HAPPI Director Sylveon Sparkleglimmer commented to the press: “HAPPI has been co-ordinating with the Bureau of Pokemon Paradise to provide a solution to the overhousing crisis . . . production on new housing is expected to begin this coming spring.”

~ Paradise Today

~\({O})/~

SPECIAL EPISODE III: FROM SUMMER TO WINTER

~\({O})/~

Port Archaios ~ Sand Continent

Then

~Espeon~​

The summer breeze on the Sand Continent was refreshing, mildly cool, and of the sea. It was nothing compared to the harsh sun that shone down over the land at midday. In the summer, the days were long and blistering, and even some of the grass-type ‘mon who photosynthesized were wilting under the heat. The Fire-Types, capable of withstanding the sweltering temperatures, were some of the only ‘mon who could walk around comfortably on such a hot and harsh day.

Espeon, a psychic-type, was another who could brave the heat without suffering a stroke. Her evolution was suited for the intense warmth, her large ears easily ventilating the rest of her body. Growing up on the Sand Continent as an eevee meant choosing a form that was suited for the environment; scarcely any leafeon, vaporeon, or glaceon were seen around here. The other evolution most suited to the heat was flareon, but Espeon knew she wouldn’t fancy that.

With her teeth she tightened the straps of the bag attached to her midsection, made sure all the flaps were sealed, and that everything she’d need was packed. The last thing she did was put on a brilliant, sky-blue scarf, and levitate on an archeologist’s hat the color of her dust brown bags that kept the sun from getting in her eyes. Now she was ready.

They were moving the barriers today. Or, rather, they’d been slowly moving them back for years. You couldn’t live in Port Archaios and not see the massive, half constructed pillars of stone that separated the coastal city from the desert beyond. The wall spanned the continent, all the newspapers had buzzed about when it was first announced, and it would take years to build properly. But until then, temporary wooden barriers marked the picket line for what portions of the sands were safe… and what portions were the distortion of powerful mystery dungeons.

Today, those barriers moved several yards closer to the coast.

Espeon was one of the pokemon who’d be moving the barriers back, one in a large team. She travelled with at least a dozen other pokemon wearing similar bags, hats, and scarves, ready to make the day-long journey from the coast to the danger zone.

In the middle of the journey, when the sun was at its highest point in the sky and even Espeon was beginning to feel the heat, the group took a break to rest themselves and rehydrate.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” said a slightly hoarse voice from behind Espeon. “This trip’s easier at night. There’s not a single good reason to do this during the day.”

Espeon looked back to see an umbreon in similar gear approaching her. Unlike Espeon, Umbreon was heavily panting and looked a lot worse for the wear. Black fur and the long, tube-like ears his species had were better suited for the colder weather of winter, rather than the intense summer heat of Sand. Espeon, for one, was thankful that she’d brought the hat. The heat was really beginning to get to her

“I can think of one,” she said. “We’re the only pokemon on this mission without an affinity for heat.”

It was true. One of their crewmates was a delphox, who looked right at home in the heat and was magicking sand in the air to amuse a margmortar and quilava. An arcanine looked happy to be free of the supply cart for a brief moment, and a salazzle was greedily drinking from a water canteen. The crowd director was an infernape. Umbreon and to an extent Espeon were the only pokemon suffering from the heat.

“Fair point,” Umbreon grumbled. “It does pay well, at least.”

“And we get to see what’s beyond those gates?” Espeon prompted.

“That too.”

The barriers existed for a reason. The dungeon that lay beyond was rumored to be volatile and highly dangerous. It had already consumed several towns and cities that lay further in on the continent and had since been evacuated, and it would slowly creep up towards the coast. All access was restricted, which meant there were pokemon out there who would pay highly for even a look at the inside.

And one of those pokemon had. Espeon and Umbreon didn’t know the name or face of their contractor, only that he managed ‘Boltund Industries’, a shady company that didn’t extend past Sand but seemed to dabble in several different things. Both Espeon and Umbreon were sure it was a shell company, built to conceal something much more illegal. After all, what legitimate company would pay pokemon under the table to illegally infiltrate a restricted area for them?

However, being pokemon of science, neither Espeon nor Umbreon were going to just turn down a chance to see into a place nearly no pokemon before had.

“You packed the frisms?” Espeon said in a hush. Umbreon nudged his own bag with his leg; they both heard the crystal-like jingles inside.

“You packed the pen and paper?”

“In my bag,” said Espeon.

“Alright!” yelled infernape, clapping her hands. “Breaktime’s over, let’s roll out!”

“Split,” said Umbreon. “It’s easier if they don’t know we’re together.”

“Right.” Espeon took a hard turn for the other side of the assembling group, as they began marching once more.

A couple more hours, until the sun began to set and the sky turned a peachberry orange. Espeon found her spirits in a strange flux of rising now that the heat had died down, and slowly lowering now that the sun was going down in the sky. But slowly and surely, the barriers they were here to move were coming ever closer into view. Soon they loomed above the group, large, steady wooden walls, and Espeon could see clearly why they needed so many pokemon to do the job.

“Let’s form up,” Infernape yelled out. Four of you on one side, the other three with me. We’re going to grab these ropes—” she gestured to large ropes on either side of the structure “—and pull the border back!”

Espeon and Umbreon made very sure that they were together, and they were in the group that wasn’t where the organizer infernape was.

“What’s our next move?” she whispered to Umbreon as they made the gap with Quilava and Magmortar.

“We wait until the job is done, then split from the group before they can seal the gate back up,” said Umbreon. “If we’re quick we’ll catch up before we’re gone too long.”

“And our excuse?” Espeon asked.

“Our employer has an agent in this crowd that’ll cover for us,” said Umbreon.

“Who?” Espeon surveyed the crowd. She hadn’t been told about that…

“It was last minute,” said Umbreon. “They didn’t say.”

Just one piece of the barrier was 30 feet high, and nearly twice as long. It was a good thing it wasn’t made of solid metal, or solid stone, because otherwise it would have taken more than eight pokemon to pull it back properly. Espeon pulled with her psychic grip; Umbreon attached himself to the rope with a harness and pulled back with all his might. After only minutes of straining, a piece of the large structure had been pulled back across the sand a factor of several yards. Espeon ignored the dull ache that was beginning to form within her head, a sign of exertion on her psychic abilities. There were still two more of these to go.

The headache had grown after five minutes of moving the second, and was troublesome after the third had been moved. But Umbreon was already slinking away from the group, so Espeon focused through the pain and followed him before their window of opportunity closed. They silently slunk through the openings between the gate and the walls, making sure not to make a sound. Once they were clear of the walls, an alien landscape met them. It was dotted with purple rocks and sand, and the shimmering horizon had several unnatural spires colored black by the moon and night sky. They wasted no time dashing towards the midair shimmers and ripples, before they could be discovered. It was cleaner if no-mon saw.

Espeon knew what entering a dungeon was like on paper, but reading about it couldn’t prepare her for doing it for the first time. The atmosphere seemed to change in an instant, all natural wind and smells vanishing. Even though they were outside, it was windless, scentless, like being in a house that hadn’t seen use for ages but had recently been cleaned. The only adjective Espeon had for it was “dead”.

Umbreon, who had landed beside her, was in a similar state of bewilderment. He got over it quickly, rising up out of his crouching position and undoing the flap of his sidebag with his teeth.

“Alright, you hold the frism, I’ll do the narration,” he said.

“While drawing?” Espeon said.

“I’ve seen you draw and hold more than one thing before,” Umbreon replied.

The frism, a round, translucent, crystalline object, rose up out of Umbreon’s satchel and up into the air. It held its position steadily, but walked with him as the group travelled further into the dungeon. Espeon pulled a notepad and an inkless pencil out of her own bag, using it to sketch the maze around them as they walked further into it.

“We are right now standing inside the infamous dungeon that lies at the center of the Sand Continent, rumored to have formed around one of the last remaining Human ruins in the world. Which, if I’m seeing that horizon right—Espeon, make sure you’re getting all that—is more than just a rumor. We’ve just entered into the main labyrinth at night…”

The maze wasn’t large, but it didn’t change either. There were no floors like other dungeons had, no ferals inside this dungeon that attacked the pair. Espeon sketched hurriedly, capturing the walls of the maze, marking down a layout as they traversed more and more of it, sketching the horizon that stayed ever constant no matter how they walked.

“As I’m telling you this,” Umbreon narrated as they walked. “We’re following what looks like a big beam of light in the sky. Whatever it is, it’s coming from the center of the maze.”

Umbreon seemed to be enamoured with the place. He jabbered on and on excitedly, cataloguing every little thing that caught his attention. Espeon wasn’t as in love with the halls that were eerily pristine and silent, or the sky that was more like a blurry painting of the night than the actual sky. Every foot print they made stayed there, as if they were the first pokemon to ever walk upon these sands and were leaving marks that would last for eons. It was all dead, so lifeless, and Espeon couldn’t be comfortable until the walls let up.

It wasn’t long before the walls did let up, and they entered a huge landscape of dunes and ruined structures that littered the sand. In the near distance, so close they could see it clearly now, was a cave emitting enough light they could see it beaming upwards into the painting that was the sky.

Umbreon narrated eagerly as they walked; Espeon just tried to sketch and ignore how jittery the place made her feel. The closer they got to that structure of light, the colder everything seemed to feel. It was like it was sapping the energy, the very happiness out of her, leaving her desolate, miserable, terrified. It must have been painted on her face, because Umbreon shut off the frism and nudged her with his tail.

“Hey,” he said. “You feeling okay?”

“It’s c-cold…” was all she could stammer out. Her breath came out in front of her as puffs of air.

“It’s just a little further,” Umbreon said. “If you want, I can go on my own.”

“No,” Espeon said, forcing herself to keep going past all the shivering. “We came all this way. I’m going to finish.”

She trudged forward through the sand determinedly, carrying the sketchpad and the frism with her. She heard Umbreon’s pawsteps in the sand behind her, slowly following until he caught up. The cave towered over them now, a strange light coming from its entrance. Espeon blew out another puff of frosty breath, and then they both continued into the stone mouth of the cavern.

Whatever was in here, it was a change of pace from the outside. Espeon couldn’t see the walls clearly; beyond the large stalactites that spiraled up towards the cavern, there seemed to be no walls. Instead, there was just blackness. Where that darkness led, Espeon didn’t want to take her chances finding out.

The light, intense light, was coming from a pillar in the middle of the room. It shone brightly, and the closer Espeon and Umbreon moved towards it, the more of a sudden heat they could feel rippling around the pillar through their fur. The frism glowed, but Espeon tuned out her partner’s talking. She went to take a breather near the end of the cavern, where there was a solid boulder rather than the blackness of every other wall and the sandy expanse outside that seemed to chill through her bones. She needed a minute.

As she walked away and sat down, she noticed something near the boulder; a small, jagged pile of rocks that looked like they had been shattered apart. Overcome by curiosity, Espeon lowered her head and took a closer look. Most of the shards were larger; some of them were small enough to be grains of sand. All of them were a deep, grey-blue rock, much unlike the other formations they had seen. And in the middle of the pile of shattered stone sat a pair of golden, card-like objects. They glimmered as they reflected the light of the frism, and when Espeon moved them with nose she felt they were quite weighty. Maybe those were worth something…

“Umbreon,” she said, cutting Umbreon off. “Come look at this.”

The frism’s recording was ended, and both Umbreon and Espeon took a look at what Espeon had found.

“It looks like it’s made of gold,” said Espeon. “Some kind of currency?”

“I don’t think so…” Umbreon muttered, deep in thought. He lowered his head down to it, moving one of the pieces with his own nose. It moved much like a piece of solid stone itself. “It’s too bulky for that.”

He rose back up to his feet, sighing.

“Somemon could have left it in here, but I don’t see anything else lying around.”

“And it doesn’t look like something you’d just drop and forget about,” Espeon added.

And now that it was out there, it didn’t look like something you would bring into the dungeon, either.

“We should take it with us,” Umbreon decided. “If it’s something from within the dungeon, this could be a huge discovery.”

“The kind our clients might want?” Espeon asked.

“The kind our clients can’t have,” Umbreon replied. “That organization’s dubious at best. They paid us for a description of the dungeon’s interior, so that’s what we give them. But if we give this away… we’re giving away the next piece in history. And who knows what they’ll do with it.”

And so the shards of stone and the strange, card-like objects went in Umbreon’s bag, and the two set back for the entrance of the dungeon not long after.

~\({O})/~

Port Archaios ~ Nighttime​

“These are our complete sketches of the inside,” said Espeon, sliding her sketchbook forward.

“And here are the frisms with narration encoded,” Umbreon finished, setting his own bag on the table with his teeth. They were inside a narrow shack in the shabbier part of town, where there was only a small orb of luminous moss to light the building’s singular room. The walls were bare and battered, and only a few crates were the only furniture within the place aside from the table itself.

The skarmory in front of them nodded. He lifted a talon, flipping through Espeon’s sketches. The frisms, when tapped, would play Umbreon’s narration as many times as required. He had managed to fill three altogether.

“This seems in order,” said Skarmory. Another talon snaked forward, and everything on the table was suddenly snatched into into a duffel bag. Umbreon’s knapsack, full of fragile frisms, wasn’t returned.

“And our payment?” Umbreon asked once the items had disappeared.

“Our agent outside has the payment ready,” Skarmory said. “Talk to him, and you should receive your compensation.”

“How do we reach you after this?” asked Espeon.

“You don’t.” The skarmory snatched up the duffel bag in its talons, then flew out the window with movement so sudden neither Espeon nor Umbreon could clearly see it. In the skarmory’s wake, they both shared a befuddled look.

Exiting the small, abandoned house in a shady nook of Port Archaios, Espeon and Umbreon walked outside to see Quilava from the desert expedition leaning against the side of the house.

“You’re the agent?” Umbreon asked with surprise.

“Wouldn’t be a good one if you could tell,” said Quilava. He held out a thick, heavy purse with his paw. “Here’s your payment.”

Umbreon took the bag in his teeth, dropping it in the left bag of Espeon’s satchel. The other bag was weighted, carrying something neither of them trusted off their person at any time.

“Alright, now we all walk away from each other slowly, and forget this ever happened,” said quilava. “The boss likes us to keep a low profile.”

And with that, he casually slunk away into the alley. Not wanting to be caught unawares in what was clearly a bad part of town, Espeon and Umbreon made haste to leave soon after.

A few days later, news would break that a tabloid sponsored by Boltund Industries would be releasing an exclusive report on the inside of the borders behind the Sand Continent’s walls. Restrictions beyond the walls of Port Archaios tightened massively, but Espeon and Umbreon had already left the continent on a ferry. Their destination was the wintery Mist Continent; they needed a place to study in peace.

~\({O})/~

Now

Cloud Nine ~ Residential Rooms​

The TV was staticky. It was supposed to be broadcasting some kind of show neither Espeon or Umbreon were paying attention to, but when they were floating over misty mountains the signal didn’t quite work right. After half an hour of mind-numbing fuzz, the static from the television was finally getting to Umbreon. He eagerly pulled himself away from the letter he was putting off penning to switch it off.

Near him, Espeon was looking over a few other letters, both of which were much further along than his.

“Finished,” she said, setting a couple aside.

“Who are those for?” asked Umbreon. He was writing a letter to Whimsicott of Grass, asking for an appointment.

“Alexis and Elliot,” said Espeon. “We’ll be stopping in Paradise in a couple of days, so I made sure it was mentioned in the letter. If they’re nice, they’ll see us.”

“And if they aren’t nice?” Umbreon asked. “They made it clear the last time we talked that we weren’t on speaking terms. What makes you think they’ll see us now?”

“This isn’t right and they know it,” Espeon muttered. “The least they could do is play ball with us. We just need to convince them it’s the right thing to do.”

“As far as I’m concerned, they made their decisions when they sat out the trial last week,” Umbreon replied. “At most you get Elliot. Alexis? Well, he won’t listen.”

“Well then, we mail Elliot,” said Espeon. “Anything it takes. What about your letters, how are they going?”

“Could be going better,” Umbreon admitted. “You were always better at wording things.”

“Then I will be happy to give it a proofread,” Espeon said. “But finish the first drafts at least.”

“Later,” Umbreon sighed. He rose from where he was sitting, stretching. “I think I need to take a walk. I’ll finish these when I get back.”

~\({O})/~

Hedge Gardens​

Cloud Nine wasn’t as large as a city when one got down to it, but it did have a lot of space for walking around on. The front deck of the massive ship, shaped like a large, flat trapezoid, had an elaborate yet easy to navigate hedge garden that was perfect for taking lazy strolls through. Around sunset, when the sun was a large, shimmering ball of fire, the gardens would grow crowded with pokemon who came to watch the sun go down. In the late afternoon, when the sun was descending but not low enough to look pretty, there were few if any ‘mon around.

The quietness was perfect for clearing one’s head. Umbreon needed that. After a while of claw-marking words on paper in vain, he was happy to be out of the room and given some time to stretch. He let his head go empty, and strolled through the hedges for a time.

His mind wandered, as it tended to do when he wasn’t focused. He let himself focus on how the high-altitude wind blew through his ears, and how the sky right above him was beginning to darken from blue to the beginnings of night, with the moon visible above. It must have been five minutes before he noticed it.

It wasn’t the sort of thing the average pokemon would notice. And if they did, they wouldn’t think much of it. But for Umbreon, it was both the first thing he noticed, and the thing he zeroed in on: hanging on the neck of a manetric in the crowd was a white sash, marked with the snazzy grey logo of a running dog pokemon. A boltund. Which could only mean…

On reflex, Umbreon slid behind the corner of the hedge he was rounding. He nearly bumped into a quiladin carrying a stack of delicate-looking pottery, who cleared her throat at him annoyedly. After silently reassuring the quiladin that it was an accident, Umbreon peeked back around the leaves. The sash-wearing manetric hadn’t noticed him, still chatting openly with another ‘mon in front of him. That was good.

Umbreon thought to slip away, go back to his room. Espeon needed to know; if somemon from Boltund Industries was on this ship, it couldn’t mean anything good. But it wasn’t like he was going back with nothing. He was going to eavesdrop a bit. See what they were talking about.

The pokemons’ conversation wasn’t anything interesting; it was small talk about what they were having for dinner, how the weather was, and all the other pleasantries. Umbreon only caught one thing of interest: a scant, offhand mention of “getting back to the project”. He must have been loitering around in the background, pretending to mind his own business for at least ten minutes. They didn’t recognize him, and why would they? If you weren’t following the trial news, he was just some random umbreon in the crowd.

Eventually, they left, and he followed. It was just in time, as other ‘mon were beginning to crowd onto the deck to see the sun go down. Getting lost in the crowd was easier this way.

They split off near the elevator section, and started walking for a side door with a sign marked “STAFF ONLY”. Umbreon’s eyes narrowed. Using the staff elevators… something was definitely up. He quickly broke from the crowd to follow them, and made sure he got in with them before the doors could close.

Once inside, he sat down and looked between the two pokemon in the elevator with him. One was the manetric. The other was an oricorio. Both wore the white scarves.

“Good day,” he said, making sure to break the silence quickly. “This elevator’s in a weird place. But if it avoids the crowds…”

Silence. Neither of them looked pleased to see him.

“That’s because this is the staff elevator,” the oricorio said. There was a thin veil of politeness over her voice, masking annoyance.

“Oh, is it?” Umbreon asked, pretending to be oblivious. “Well, my mistake.”

The manetric cancelled the elevator destination, and toggled it for another. Umbreon made sure he caught the name of the button before it was canceled.

“Where’re we headed now?” he asked.

“Dropping you off at the food court,” the manetric said.

A moment later, the redirected elevator docked at the food court floor. Umbreon walked through the cramped storage room, filled with crates and stacks of tightly packed food products, and then out into the crowded cafetorium. He quickly made sure he got lost in the crowd, so that if the manetric and oricorio had flanked him, they wouldn’t be able to keep up. A glance back at the entrance to the storage space told him what he needed to know: that the pokemon had already disappeared back into the elevator.

He took a moment to memorize the floor button he had just seen, before it had been toggled away. BF3…

Umbreon stood where he was for a few more seconds, thinking, looking around aimlessly as pokemon walked around him. The smells of the food court began to invade his nose, jogging him back to reality. Those two were up to something shady. And if there was anything he knew, it was that he intended to find those grimers out.

~\({O})/~​

“Boltund Industries?” Espeon exclaimed. “Here?”

“The sashes were unmistakable,” said Umbreon. The letters had since been abandoned, tucked off the table and into envelopes they’d have to send at some point. Umbreon still hadn’t finished his.

“But what are they doing here?” asked Espeon. “That company has no business off Sand—there’s no reason for them to be on Cloud Nine. Not as employees, anyway.”

“My thinking exactly,” said Umbreon. “And if them using the staff elevator is anything to go by, I think they might have some business on this ship they aren’t making public.”

There was a moment of silence between the two, as they both drew their own conclusions of what that meant. To Umbreon, it was clear: Their project on the bottom floor could only be one thing.

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Espeon, noticing the furrowed grimace that was plastered on Umbreon’s face. “We should stay out of it.”

“I disagree,” Umbreon replied. “On the contrary, we need to do some poking around. Their ‘project’ on the bottom floor has something to do with us. I just have a feeling.”

“Feelings can be wrong,” Espeon pointed out. “We’d be getting in over our heads and you know it.”

“We’re already in over our heads,” said Umbreon. “We’ve been in over our heads for a long time. But if Boltund Industries, an organization that has expressed vested interest in Magnagate Technology and little else, is constructing a secret project on Cloud Nine…”

“You’re going to risk everything we still have over a hunch?” Espeon asked.

“It’s a small risk,” Umbreon said. “With a big payout. If we get proof that entercards are being developed on this ship, we stand a chance in court. No more beating around the bush, no more arguing legislation. Just a big scandal.”

~\({O})/~​

“I can’t believe I let you drag me into this,” Espeon muttered. The two of them were walking towards the elevator through the hedge gardens. It was sunset, just an hour after Umbreon had returned. The crowd of pokemon that had entered on the deck offered them proper cover to slink through unnoticed by others. Or anymon who might be watching.

“Remember, it’s just a look around,” Umbreon said. He kept his voice down; despite all the chaos every inch of the gardens had surveillance. They needed to be careful with what they said in public. “You have the camera in your bag?”

“It’s there,” Espeon replied. “We’re set as we’ll ever be.”

The elevators weren’t far away now. The area around it was mostly empty, and the two of them attracted no attention heading towards the dingy service one that existed away from the rest.

Once they were behind the elevator’s mesh grate, Umbreon took a look at the buttons. Which one had those two pressed… he’d been repeating it in his head like a mantra ever since he’d seen. Immediately, he jammed his paw down on the one marked “BF3”. With a clack, the elevator shook, and began to carry the two of them downwards.

Espeon let out a deep breath from where she sat next to Umbreon. She was looking at the roof—for security cameras, he realized. He looked up at the roof too, and was relieved not to see any.

“What was that about low risk again?” she asked him.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Umbreon said, shifting in place like he was readying himself for sudden action.

The elevator dinged and opened to floors that were grates and walls made of dirty, scuffed metal. The ship’s engines whirred loudly in the background, scraping, grinding, and churning of emera dust that echoed against the metal of the narrow hallway loudly. Umbreon exited the elevator first, followed by Espeon, who undid the latch on her bag and pulled out a camera lens and a connection orb. As the camera blinked to life, the two of them looked around.

“The engines must be close,” Espeon said, her ears pinned back from all the sound. “This looks like a maintenance aisle. Are you sure you saw them go down this way?”

Umbreon lowered his nose to the ground, and sniffed. The smell of acrid metal and a hint of metallic-smelling emera dust invaded his nose, but sure enough he could pick up the faint scent of the two employees from earlier. Their scents were of static current and flowers.

“No, they’re definitely here,” he said with certainty. “I have their scent.”

He intently sniffed out a path as they went down the hallway, then took a turn, then another. The whirring and grinding of the engines grew softer quickly; wherever they were going, they were moving away. Umbreon was so intent in his sniffing that he seemed to lose sense of his surroundings. At one point, Espeon sharply bit down on Umbreon’s tail and pulled him backwards. His eyes went wide and he let out a whimper of pain—in an instant Espeon was against him with a paw against his muzzle. She looked spooked. He realized that just around the turn, they had managed to catch the attention of a pair of workers. A plusle and minun, wearing those same white sashes, were looking around intently for what had made noise. And they were coming this way.

“Slowly. Move. Backward,” Espeon whispered. She took a silent step back, and so did he. The two moved in tandem, picking up speed until they’d gone the whole hallway back and around a corner. The two workers peeked around the bend, but all they saw was an empty hallway.

The plusle looked at the minun. Both shrugged, and then turned around and went back to their work.

“What were you doing?” she scolded him once the plusle and minun were out of range. “Pay more attention.”

“We have to follow them,” said Umbreon.

“At a distance,” Espeon insisted. Umbreon wanted to get closer, but he couldn’t debate that.

Slinking silently around the corner again, the two started after the plusle and minun as they wheeled equipment down the hall. They were both careful to stay a hallway behind at all times, and Umbreon followed their scent to make sure they didn’t lose track. He was careful to focus on more than just his nose this time.

Soon, the wagon suddenly disappeared. The trail ended halfway through the hallway, and even when the two of them ran up ahead, they saw nothing. Umbreon slowly returned to the same place he had lost the trail, as did Espeon.

“Where could they have gone?” he asked. “They were here seconds ago.”

Espeon walked forward, inspecting the wall.

“Look,” she said, squinting at the metal plates. “There are grooves here.”

Umbreon leaned in to look at what Espeon was seeing. Sure enough, there were clear grooves in the wall ahead, ones that seemed unbroken. And they formed…

“A door,” he finished his thought out loud. Espeon nodded.

“Whatever they were taking in there, it was probably headed to storage,” Umbreon continued. “They wouldn’t wheel it in anywhere highly populated or sensitive.”

“But how would we open i—” Espeon began, but she was quickly cut off. They could hear the pitter-patter of two sets of light, quick footsteps approaching the door.

Seconds later, the door slid open, admitting Plusle and Minun out through it. Espeon and Umbreon watched from the corner of the hallway as one of them operated a handle that slid out of a patch on the wall, then shut the door with it. The two of them trotted off, and then were gone. In their wake, Umbreon and Espeon snuck back towards it.

Umbreon didn’t waste time. He quickly pushed the handle flap open with his paw, and bit down. The door slowly opened with a clang, leading into a room that was dark and looked very wide. Just like he’d thought: a storage space.

“Come on,” he said, gesturing Espeon in after him with his tail once he’d seen inside the place. “It’s empty.”

Umbreon crept in first. Espeon followed behind him, looking around a bit more cautiously than he was. Though it didn’t matter, he thought, since the place was completely deserted. It wasn’t a large room, the size of two to three bedrooms combined. What made it seem even smaller was all the cargo that was in here. Wooden boxes lay everywhere, lined up nearly to the ceiling in height. Some things were covered with tarps; others just lay out in the open on wooden platforms, with only ropes to keep them secured.

As they went, they inspected the materials out in the open for them to see. Espeon was looking at what looked like sheets of silver metal under one of the tarps, and the one next to it had slabs of bluish grey stone. Every piece of cargo in the room had one thing in common: the packaging was stamped with the three-ringed seal of HAPPI.

Umbreon was inspecting some of the sealed crates, which were stamped for travel with that same seal. They looked like they carried finished products… and whatever was inside them seemed small and plentiful. If the crates weren’t sealed shut with nails, Umbreon would have opened it to look. As it was, he could only look in the cracks between the wood. He peered closer…

“Look at these,” Espeon said, catching Umbreon’s attention. She was looking at the slabs of blue stone that lay on a crate, under a tarp. “Who would they be transporting all this to?”

“This isn’t a transport bay,” Umbreon replied. “It’s too far away from the rest of the docks. And look.” He pointed over to the many trolleys and saddles that were sitting further down the room. “Whatever’s here, it’s not here for storage. It’s being brought here.”

“For…” Espeon trailed off.

“To build something,” Umbreon said. He gestured back towards the stacks of crates he’d found with his ears and tail. “And I think the finished products are in these.”

The door that they had closed behind them suddenly began to open. Without another second’s thought, the two of them quickly made themselves scarce behind a wall of the larger crates, easily large enough to conceal them both.

Peeking through the cracks in the crates, Umbreon saw the plusle and minun from earlier walking in through the door. They brought another full trolley with them, filled with the same slabs of rock Espeon had been staring at.

“How many more of these?” the minun asked, letting out an exhausted breath and leaning back against one of the already existing crates. “I’m pooped…”

“Three more,” the plusle answered through a similarly exhausted gasp. “But look on the bright side. Once we finish this, we’re off for the rest of the day. “You can nap to your hearts’ content.”

“Yeah…” the minun sighed, pulling themselves back to their feet. “Let’s just get this over with.”

A whooshing sound suddenly came from Umbreon’s right. He looked over to the other side of the room, where there had formerly been nothing but darkness. Now there was light.

“Ah, you two.”

The plusle and minun were looking in the same direction as Umbreon, where the voice had come from.

“Just the pokemon I was looking for,” came the voice again, and in walked the very last pokemon in the world Umbreon would have wanted to see in a situation like this.

~\({O})/~

Then

Pokemon Paradise ~ Uptown Stage​

“Hey,” Umbreon said to Espeon’s terrified face. “Calm down, okay?”

“I can’t go up there!” Espeon cried.

“You were okay just a second ago,” Umbreon said. “What happened?”

“There’s just too many pokemon,” Espeon said, breathing heavily. “I thought I was okay and then I saw the stage and I just, I can’t—”

“Listen,” said Umbreon. “You’re going to be fine. If you want, I can do the talking and you hang back, okay?”

Espeon took a long shaky breath to collect herself. “No, I’m—I’m fine. We’ll both do it. Thank you.”

Umbreon nodded, standing off. He looked at the clock that was ticking down, down to their appearance within less than a minute. “We’re due out there any second. Ready?”

“I think I am,” said Espeon. “You have your lines?”

“Only my parts,” said Umbreon.

“Well, how were you going to do all the talking then?”

“I’m good with memorizing things!”

Sudden celebratory music blasted their ears from the outside, signaling a grand entrance.

“That’s our cue,” Umbreon said.

The two of them quickly hopped out of the well-furnished backstage area, then walked up a slightly steep ramp that led through royal blue curtains and out onto a large stage that was surrounded by a large crowd. This was the fifteenth annual Inventors and Dungeoneering convention in Pokemon Paradise, and the two of them had scheduled to show off a groundbreaking new advancement in technology there. Now was their grand debut.

Umbreon walked to the front of the stage and sat down, and Espeon sat next to him, slightly behind. The lights and music dimmed as they were supposed to, and Umbreon took that as a cue to begin. Only a spotlight was left behind, shining on him.

“Mystery dungeons,” he said. His voice was amplified for him, ringing out amongst bated silence. “They’re the fascination of a century, and the fixation of many for eons before. At conventions like these, we see the most fascinating elements of them, and are surrounded by the best of the best technology and equipment for dungeoneering.”

He paused for dramatic effect, making sure the cameras caught him hanging his head low.

“But there is a darker side to mystery dungeons as we know them,” Espeon continued in his wake, reciting the first of her own lines. Umbreon heard her voice waver a little, but she managed to keep her composure the whole time. “When one forms out on the ocean, trade routes must adjust, so ships carrying important supplies between continents don’t get sucked in. When dungeons turn powerful and deadly, they become liabilities for pokemon who might stumble inside and need rescuing. When they creep towards towns, those towns must confront the fact that one day, those dungeons might just envelop their cities and homes. For as fascinating as mystery dungeons are, we must not forget they are dangerous things.”

Now she bowed her head, and the spotlight returned to Umbreon. He raised his own head high, posing dramatically on his haunches for the crowd.

“But that’s where we come in,” he said loudly. “Espeon and I have, for decades, studied the workings of mystery dungeons. Based on rare artifacts found within the dungeon’s depths, we’ve developed a device that can create dungeons out of thin air, and take existing ones away.”

A large screen above the stage lit up, showing the images of a pair of card-like tablets. They were bright gold, and the circular, intertwining engravings on them stood out as clear as day.

“What you see above on the screen are our prototype models of the device,” Espeon announced. Seconds later, the image on the screen changed to a moving slideshow, depicting several blueprint papers. “Along with several theoretical models that would enhance these prototypes’ performance.”

“With magnagate technology,” Umbreon began, starting the final segment of the speech, “A whole new world of possibilities open up to us. Dungeons can be used as a way to shorten travel. Merchant ships could arrive at their destination entire days earlier than planned, and risky routes like the northern and southern capes of Air could be avoided.”

“Magnagates can also render ineffective the massive, powerful dungeons that creep up on towns like Port Archaios and our very own Pokemon Paradise,” Espeon continued. “With the ability to prune dungeons and stop them in their tracks, we can stop these dungeons from expanding further than they should, or even make them grow smaller in size.”

“And that’s not to mention the effects magnagates could have on our energy situation,” Umbreon said. “The emeras everything in our society runs on come from inside dungeons, but they get harder and harder to find the more that we harvest. Magnagates could give us the ability to artificially farm our own emeras within dungeons created specifically for the purpose of emera farming. No more dangerous dungeon ventures for inexperienced pokemon…”

“…No more perilous shipping routes and treacherous mountain paths…” Espeon continued.

“…And no more danger from dungeons encroaching on civilization,” finished Umbreon.

“This is Magnagate Technology,” the both of them finished at once.

All the lights in the stadium lit up at once, and fireworks that had been rigged specifically for the display shot up into the sky. A round of hearty applause came from the crowd present, and Espeon and Umbreon both took bows.

“Any questions?” he asked to the crowd.

“I’ve got one,” a treecko somewhere on the right side of the crowd raised their limb.

“Me too!”

“And me!”

“One at a time,” said Umbreon, addressing the growing amount of voices. “You first. What was your question?”

The questions were numerous, and everything the two of them said was recorded at least once by the news crews in the crowd. It took a half hour to answer everything. And at the end of the day, Umbreon was feeling pretty good about it all. They’d made a splash with the crowd, and gotten stunning reception. Recordings of their presentation would be on the news the very next day, judging from the amount of news crews that had shown up.

The true goal of the presentation, of course, was to find a proper investor. With the reception they’d gotten, neither Espeon nor Umbreon were expecting it to take long before calls began rolling in. And sure enough, only half an hour after the presentation had wrapped, they found themselves approached.

“Well, hello there.”

Umbreon jumped up off the pillow he was laying on in the fancy backstage quarters. Espeon, relaxing near him, jumped up as well. From the shadows of the door where the two of them couldn’t see, a boltund emerged. He had a slightly goofy look on his face as he padded towards them, but when he spoke, it was with a deep voice that didn’t seem befitting of him at all. For some reason, it sent chills down Umbreon’s spine.

“Who are you, and what are you doing backstage?” he asked. Whatever this was, it couldn’t be good news.

“Right, this must be a quite unwelcome surprise,” the boltund said. He bowed his head in greeting. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am known as Boltund, head of Boltund Industries. The two of you did that Dungeoneering assignment through the Sands of Time all those years ago for me.”

Umbreon squinted at the boltund as he tried to remember. Sands of Time, Sands of Time… oh. That Sands of Time.

“I think I remember that,” Espeon said, getting up to join Umbreon. “It’s been a while. Sorry, we didn’t recognize you.”

“Oh, there’s no need to be sorry, the boltund said with a grin. “You didn’t interact with me that time, only a subordinate. Anyway!”

With that last cheerful word, he moseyed on a bit closer. Umbreon didn’t like it, but he’d wait to see if it was just a gut feeling before he did anything else.

“I happened to be at the convention when I saw your terrific presentation—and it was quite terrific, let me tell you…”

“Thanks,” Espeon said.

“And well,” the boltund broke off for a moment. “I thought I’d get ahead of the chase here. I’m sure you’ll have investors clawing at your paws in a matter of hours, so let’s get down to business. I will pay you, very handsomely, for the prototype models of your magnagate technology.”

“Prototype… models?” Espeon asked in confusion.

Umbreon said nothing, but his eyes narrowed a little. Everything that came out of this pokemon’s mouth was giving him less and less reason to like the guy.

“Well I’m sorry, but that’s not what we’re offering,” he said.

“Nonsense,” said the boltund firmly. “I’ll pay whatever you want, name the price and I’ll foot the bill.”

“We’re not offering the prototypes alone,” said Espeon. “We’re offering the rights to produce and use the finished models of our technology, not the technology itself.”

“And any independently developed newer models would still be yours regardless of arrangement,” said Boltund. “All I ask for is the original model. The resulting payout would be more than enough to establish your own company, independent of an investor. Like I said… name your price.”

Both Espeon and Umbreon were silent. Umbreon could have sworn he saw the corners of Boltund’s smile twitch down a bit.

“Well,” he said cheerily. “If you won’t name a price, I’ll name one for you. 57…”

Umbreon opened his mouth to say they weren’t interested, especially for something as cheap as 57, but what Boltund said next stopped him in his tracks.

“… billion.”

Once again, the both of them were left stunned. That was a massive amount of money, more than they could ever have dreamed of having in their life.

“Just one billion is enough to get a company off the ground and healthy,” said Boltund. “Imagine what you could do with 57.”

“We’ll… take a moment to think it over,” said Umbreon, as he and Espeon shared a look.

“As long as you need,” said Boltund. He stood back a little. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Espeon and Umbreon quickly huddled away where he couldn’t hear.

“I don’t like him,” said Umbreon.

“That feeling’s mutual,” said Espeon. “But 57 billion! We’d never have to worry about travel expenses or being able to afford our research again!”

“We can’t sell them,” Umbreon said. “Not to him.”

“Why not?” Espeon asked. “He just wants the prototypes. We have the blueprints for a newer model already. And with that much money, it won’t take long to build them.”

“He’s not buying our prototypes,” Umbreon explained. “He’s buying the business opportunity. Look—any company that’s willing to throw around billions of poke like it’s a drop in the bucket has more resources than we ever will. If we sell the cards to him, that’s it. He’ll own the technology, and we’ll never catch up.”

He spared a look back at Boltund, who just grinned wider.

“We didn’t spend all these years working to get rich. We spent them working to advance science. And if we give that science to him, then it’s out of our paws. Who knows what he’ll do with it.”

Espeon sighed.

“Good point,” she said.

“And have you two decided?” Boltund asked with a smile, as they turned back to him. “I can have contract papers ready by the morning, along with suitable payment.”

“We decided we’re going to wait and see our other options before we make a decision,” said Umbreon.

And then and there, for the first time, Umbreon saw Boltund frown.

“Well I’m afraid that’s not an option,” he said. “This offer is on the table for tonight and tonight only. I promise you no investor will pay as much poke as I will.”

“We just don’t think it’s prudent to sign papers without considering all our options first,” said Espeon. “If you would consider keeping that offer open a few days longer—”

“What is it you need?” Boltund interrupted. “More poke? I can add more zeroes on there. Other goodies? Name it. I’ll have it flown in on our most extravagant fliers. Time? The papers can be drafted by our best lawyers in an hour. You just need to name your price.”

“We’re not naming a price,” said Umbreon. “We don’t want the deal. That’s the end of it.”

Boltund’s now nervous smile couldn’t stay a smile much longer. The corners of his mouth turned down, towards the bottom of his jaw until his smile had become an annoyed grimace. He took a deep breath to compose himself.

“You’re sure?” he asked. His voice no longer had the cheeriness, replaced by a flat displeasure.

Umbreon and Espeon looked between each other. Both of them felt slightly unsettled by this pokemon now.

“We’re sure,” said Espeon. “We’re sorry.”

Another deep breath from the boltund. His grimace became a full-on scowl.

“Well,” he said. “I was only asking as a courtesy.”

That was the point where it all clicked for Umbreon. That unsettling feeling he’d been getting, those chills… he looked down at his shadow—

“Gengar,” the boltund said. “Get him.”

Before Umbreon could react, a large hulking mass of purple erupted out of his shadow. It pummeled into him, sending him flying back against some of the furniture in the quarters. Spooked, Espeon lunged for the gengar with a gleaming gem and paws, but the Gengar produced a shadowy purple blast from its mouth that sent Espeon flying to the opposite end of the room.

“Now grab the cards!” Boltund said, as he sunk back into the shadows of the entrance. Gengar snatched the cards, in a brown sack near the end of the room, and began to soar through the air after Boltund.

Espeon raised herself from the ground with a cough, growling as the two of them ran off.

“We have to go after them,” she said as Umbreon pulled himself up as well.

“I told you he was trouble,” he said. Then the two of them bolted through the entrance and after the howling gengar.

Walking down the hallway, Espeon and Umbreon quickly saw how the boltund had gotten in here unaccosted: all the guards across the hallway leading from here to the outside had been knocked out. They ran through a corridor dotted with unconscious and sleeping bodies—at least two or three per hall, following the laughs that echoed throughout the hall as they ran. It wasn’t long before they caught up.

The Boltund ran out of the building and towards an alakazam that waited for him in the building’s back courtyard. Seconds later, Espeon and Umbreon arrived on the scene as the gengar sped out of the building above their heads, twirled in the air, and shot down for where the boltund was—

Immediately Umbreon realized what was going to happen. They were about to teleport out of there! And he wasn’t quick enough to do anything.

But Espeon was. She sprinted forward, heading straight for the boltund, and cleared the distance in under a second. Just as the gengar made contact with the alakazam, and the alakazam began to light up, she snatched the bag with her teeth, and separated just in time.

There was a flash of light that blinded Umbreon’s eyes. When it faded and he could see properly again, he saw that Gengar, Boltund, and Alakazam had disappeared. Teleports took a good amount of time to gather energy for, so the three of them wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. And in their place, lying on the ground, was Espeon. Umbreon quickly sprinted over to her, crouching down as she pulled herself up with a cough.

“Are you okay?” he asked her frenetically.

“Yeah,” she coughed out. “It’s just a little rough up.” She stood, but her leg seemed hurt a little. “Are the entercards okay?”-

They quickly opened up the bag and looked into it to make sure what was inside was fine. Sure enough, the four entercard prototypes were sitting in the sack, relatively undamaged. The both of them sighed in relief.

A search and investigation of the place was done only a few hours after the incident had occurred. The gengar was tracked down and caught within the city only a few days afterwards. He swore all the way to his jailing that he had been set up. Espeon and Umbreon weren’t harassed by Boltund anymore, but they’d made a habit of watching their backs ever since that night.

Their next investor called only a night later, after news of their presentation had made the radiowaves. It was HAPPI, the largest current exploration company known to ‘mon, with a building in-city and more than enough resources to carry Espeon and Umbreon through their research.

This offer, they accepted.

~\({O})/~

Now

Underneath Cloud Nine

~Espeon~​

The two of them remained behind the wall of boxes, paralyzed, barely daring to breathe. They watched as the Boltund stepped a bit further into view. They hadn’t seen that pokemon in years, but here he was. Ordering some underling around, carrying something in through some door, that didn’t matter, what mattered was that he was here himself. Coming here had been a huge mistake.

A nudge in her side.

“Shh,” said Umbreon from beside her. He didn’t say anything else, but she got the message. She knew too: They couldn’t be found out here.

“Could you two perchance help me wheel in one of those stone shipments before you go back for the rest?” asked Boltund. “Looks like we’re slightly ahead of schedule, yes.”

“Yeah,” said the minun, not looking like they wanted to cart more around than they had to. “Which one?”

“The one you’re wheeling in will do,” said Boltund. “Now come. Let’s get a move on so you both can get back to your jobs.”

The plusle and minun hopped back to their positions pushing the cart, and followed Boltund as he walked back towards that door. It sealed up behind him, locking light out of the storage room with a click. And only then could Espeon bring herself to make a sound.

Her joints unlocked. She stopped being stiff and crouched back, her hackles raising.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” was all she could force out. She turned to Umbreon, speaking with more force than she’d expected to: “We need to go back. This is way out of our depth.”

“We need proof,” Umbreon said. “I need to see what they’re working on in that lab.”

“Don’t we have enough proof here?” Espeon asked. “Going into that door is asking to be caught. There’s no good way in.”

“Yes there is,” Umbreon replied. “We’ll jump those plusle and minun when they come out, then take their scarves. Once we’re wearing scarves, they should let us in and out without problems.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Stressed Espeon with wide eyes. “You’re getting too reckless. We could face consequences for this, and they’d know somemon was here. We need to grab what we can from this storage room, and head back. What’s in these crates?”

They focused their energy on prying one of the crates open. It was a slow and deliberate process; every nail had to be unfastened and quietly torn away so that the box could be opened. Eventually, however, one of the planks on the side had been loosened enough that the two could tear it off.

What lay inside was tightly stacked; flat, disk-like boards made of stone and that silvery metal. The two of them quickly assisted each other into taking one of the discs out of the box, which was hard to do through an opening narrower than the disc itself. But with enough maneuvering, they managed to extract one of the discs from the box and onto the floor.

It was covered in silvery metal on one side, and the other was lined with stone. Golden rivuts of metal snaked through the blueish-grey rock, twisting and turning in circular patterns that, when turned around, could be seen in grooves on the metal front of the device. It was obvious to both Espeon and Umbreon what it was: The cap of an Entercard.

And above the circular engravings, at the very top, the seal of HAPPI was stamped into the metal.

“It’s right there,” Espeon said, staring down at the card. “That’s it. That’s all the proof we need.”

“How many can we take?” Umbreon said hastily. “Open your bag.”

He put his mouth around the still intact boards. Canine incisors dug into the woods, and he managed to snap a piece off with a noise that made Espeon cringe. But it left them a hole large enough to take the disks out easily. Espeon’s bag had room for seven altogether.

It hadn’t been too long, but soon the doors slid open again, causing Espeon and Umbreon to pause. That Plusle and Minun pair were walking out the door again, pushing along an empty trolley. The two of them watched the pokemon go, pulling the door open and shutting it behind them. Once they were gone, Espeon and Umbreon let out twin puffs of relief.

“Alright,” Umbreon said. “Let’s go while we still can.”

~\({O})/~

Espeon and Umbreon’s Quarters​

“We can’t stay on Cloud Nine,” Espeon said, pacing throughout their quarters again. “We weren’t good at covering our tracks. They’ll know we took something.”

“If HAPPI’s involved in this, then they probably suspect us already,” Umbreon said, humming in agreement. “We should mail these off first,” he said, tapping the table with a paw.

The seven parts they’d managed to steal were spread out on it, all identical. All marked with that three-ringed seal. The plan was to message incriminating photos and physical evidence of the entercards to news studios all over the Mist Continent, in hopes of raising enough of a stir to cause a scandal they could take advantage of. They’d keep a few to turn in as legal evidence themselves.

“But that still leaves the question…” Espeon said. “Why are they making these?”

They’d thought long and hard on it, and neither of them could come up with an answer. If HAPPI wanted the entercards, why go to the song and dance of cutting them out of the picture? What could this team from Sand accomplish that Espeon and Umbreon themselves couldn’t? The design even seemed to mirror their newer model blueprints in a way, sleeker and built to be more powerful than the prototypes were.

“I don’t want to have to ask to find out,” Umbreon said. “We can coax that information out of them once we take it public.

“As for transportation…” he sat down, letting his tail slowly thump up and down against the floor. Thump. Thump. The flygon that took us here makes regular trips to and from the dock. If I schedule now, he can take us off tomorrow night.”

“And I can mail these parts out to the news outlet,” Espeon added.

And so the plans were made, and the arranging began.

~\({O})/~

Then

Magnagate Company​

A contract with HAPPI had been signed and inked, and about a month ago, Espeon and Umbreon’s research company had finally opened its doors properly. They had a staff ready and waiting to help them bring their machines to reality, and financial security like they’d never seen before. And though it had taken them until autumn to properly set everything up, it seemed like things were only going to go uphill from here.

Except that today, when Espeon and Umbreon walked in through the building’s doors, they saw several pokemon with bright violet scarves walking around, packing everything up. Everything—the furniture, the equipment, the decorations—was being moved into boxes that were then being wheeled out of the building on large trolleys.

Exchanging looks of confusion, Espeon and Umbreon approached the toxtricity who seemed to be managing the entire thing.

“Excuse me,” said Umbreon loudly. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“We’re packing up,” the toxtricity said.

“I can see that. Why?”

“Your contract’s been terminated,” the pokemon said as he flipped a page on his clipboard. “HAPPI’s decided not to fund this project beyond the agreed-upon trial period.”

“I’m sorry—what?” Espeon cut in. “How come we didn’t hear about this?”

“Look, if you’ve got complaints, take it up with upper management,” the tired voice of the toxtricity sighed. “I’m not the one who makes the rules, I just carry out the orders.”

He lowered his clipboard after checking off just one last thing, then yelled loudly to the rest of the moving crew: “Alright, that’s everything! Let’s move it out!”

Left in a state of shock, Espeon and Umbreon could only watch as all of their possessions, equipment, and half-developed devices were rolled out of the building and onto tauros-pulled carts. Never to be seen again.

~\({O})/~

Now

Cloud Nine​

Espeon and Umbreon were sure they were being tracked somehow. There were a pair of manetric that had been tailing them around the place, and though they’d been discreet about tracking their trackers, they were able to confirm that they did indeed have trackers. The decision was made to split up at a later point in the next day, to give the trackers a harder time of following them.

Umbreon would do something immediately shady to draw the manetrics’ attention, while Espeon would take an unassuming trip to the food court downstairs and discreetly lose the one following her in the crowd. After placing an order for food as cover, she then doubled back and took a crowded elevator to the mail department, where the letters in her bag were promptly sent by corvisquire flight to various journalists in Paradise.

The remaining two entercard pieces were kept in a bag under their bed. In the rare event that one of them was grabbed and searched, the incriminating evidence wouldn’t be on them.

Espeon and Umbreon discreetly met in the food court later, at sunset. After eating the meal Espeon had ordered, the two of them came back to their room for a final gathering of their things before the flygon flight Umbreon had chartered would leave.

They found, to their utter shock, that the place had been ransacked. The furniture was flipped apart, belongings they’d carefully packed were strewn about, and things like cushions and curtains had been slashed apart. Whoever had done it had evidently found the entercards, right where they’d placed it under the bed.

“Head to the docks,” Umbreon said. “Now.”

After that, it wasn’t even a question of if they were being followed or not. The pair of manetric were walking out in the open now. They first made themselves present in the hallways, walking ever-closer and at a faster pace than Espeon and Umbreon were. The two of them adjusted accordingly, but didn’t break out into a run yet.

“Don’t look at them,” Espeon hissed under her breath as she saw Umbreon briefly twitch his head back to get an idea of how close they were. “We can get to the docks if we just act causal. How long until our flight leaves?”

“If we continue at the pace we’re going, we’ll get there just in time,” Umbreon said.

The slow pursuit continued, until they walked up a flight of stairs and out into the hedge gardens. The sun had just dipped over the horizon, and there were still tons of pokemon above-deck. Once Espeon and Umbreon were surrounded by pokemon, they began to move faster. The cover that the crowd provided let them slink through between the individual pokemon with little more than a disturbance or annoyed passerby here and there. They made it into the elevators, at which point they broke out in a sprint for the nearest one.

Not a moment too soon—looking back, Umbreon saw that the two manetric had somehow tailed them through the crowd, and were exiting from the same spot they had now. He watched one of their noses rise up and sniff the air. Even through this large messy crowd, they’d been tracking the two of them down with scents.

Well, that wouldn’t fly much longer. Espeon skidded to a stop within an open elevator first, followed by Umbreon a few seconds later. Immediately, Umbreon jammed his paw down on the ‘door close’ button, watching as it closed and blocked out the faces of two steadily-approaching manetric. Then he hit the button for B1, which led into the flight docks.

The elevator opened on a massive chamber, currently empty. The docks were closed for the night, allowing Umbreon and Espeon to slip by without much commotion.

A buzzing could be heard, picked up by their sensitive ears. It grew louder and louder, until it was the thunderous sound of wings beating hundreds of times a second. The massive form of a flygon touched down on the dock ahead, looking around.

“Over here!” Espeon called out, running forward.

Near behind them, the ding of an elevator, Umbreon took a quick look back, seeing one of the elevators to the side open. If the docks were closed, there was only one pokemon it could be—without thinking, he broke out into a run, trailing after Espeon within seconds. The flygon wasn’t too far ahead now—

But when the manetric started running, neither of them had any hope of escape.

One second, Umbreon was sprinting towards the flygon. The next, something sent him tumbling to the ground. He found himself pinned to the ground, half his cheek smushed into the cold, hard floor of the docks.

Atop him stood a manetric, larger and far more powerful than he was. Its paws had him pinned down to the deck firmly, and he could barely move anything under the weight. Still, he tried to.

He could see out of the corner of his eye that Espeon was pinned to the ground, similar to him. She was struggling against her own manetric, trying to use her psychic pull to thrust the pokemon off her. But it wasn’t enough. The manetric was resisting, and winning.

The thunderous buzzing of wings captured his attention for a minute—the flygon, spooked, had already spun around and taken off.

“You’re coming with us,” the manetric standing over Umbreon leaned down and growled in his ear. “Behave the rest of the way there if you know what’s good for you.”

~\({O})/~

Sparkleglimmer’s Office​

Sparkleglimmer’s office was deceptively cute and cozy. The walls were a shade of soft, purplish pink decorated with wavy magenta lines, and pictures of various flora and fauna lined the walls. A dark, mahogany desk sat on an oval rug the color of the walls, and a single emera-light from the ceiling lit the whole room with a magnificent glow.

Espeon and Umbreon were escorted in by the two mooks, and made to sit down in front of the desk.

“I thought you should know,” said Sparkleglimmer, who sat behind the desk. In her ear ribbons, she held the letters Espeon and Umbreon had been drafting up. Dainty, round reading spectacles sat on her muzzle—she’d been reading them. “I personally asked dear Alexis and Elliot to step away from the trial last Saturday.”

“You… what?” asked Espeon.

“They had no business sitting on a jury when their judgement might be affected by their previous relation to you,” Sparkleglimmer continued, still studying the letter. “Something you evidently both knew and were willing to take advantage of. Rest assured they will stepping away from any future trials.”

She pointed down to the space in front of her desk with a lower ribbon. “Sit.”

Unsure of what else to do, Espeon and Umbreon sat.

“These letters are cute. I must say I admire your resolve; anymon else would have settled after the court case.”

Two ear ribbons meticulously folded the papers up and stuffed them back into their envelopes. She then stuck them safely into a drawer on her side of the desk.

“But as admirable as that resolve is, it stops here,” she said. “I know you two broke into the entercard lab on the bottom deck yesterday.”

Silence again. Neither Espeon nor Umbreon were happy to play along with her, but denying it outright was dangerous. Their silence became an untold confession.

“Before you try to deny it, we found the parts you stole in your duffel bag,” Sparkleglimmer continued. “It’ll be going back to the lab now, where it belongs. Do the two of you have anything to say for yourselves?”

“We don’t care if you confiscate the parts,” Espeon said, no longer able to contain herself. “We have proof on its way to Pokemon Paradise right now. You can’t stop it. And when the Paradise Times gets our proof—”

“What exactly do you two intend to prove?”

The voice was sweet as sugar plums and smoothly severed the rest of Espeon’s sentence.

“That your disingenuous conduct is fraud,” Espeon bit back.

“Is it?”

“Yes!”

“But is it?”

“What are you getting at?” Umbreon asked curtly, raising his voice.

“The two of you are terribly misguided,” Sparkleglimmer said matter-of-factly. “You seem to possess a fundamental misunderstanding of how this system works that drives you to such… irrational extremes.”

“Then enlighten us,” Umbreon said through gritted teeth.

“Nothing HAPPI has done is illegal,” Sparkleglimmer enunciated smoothly. “In a couple of days we will reveal “new research”, done by our friends at Boltund Industries, that nullifies our public concerns about Magnagate technology. A partnership will be announced with Boltund Industries to fund a controlled, HAPPI-mandated production. The Times are writing up articles as we speak, you may as well have sent your “proof” to the garbage can.”

“But the other newspapers will notice,” Espeon hissed. “We sent it to more than just one.”

“The other newspapers will report on your little controversy for a week and then move on,” Sparkleglimmer replied. “I’m not at all worried about the mumblings of tabloids. However, you two…”

A grin that revealed gleaming fangs.

“You two are at risk of facing criminal charges for breaking and entering on Cloud Nine.”

She let that hang in the air for a minute. Cold dread slowly seeped into both Espeon and Umbreon at the prospect.

“Of course!” Sparkleglimmer exclaimed, stunning them out of their shock. “None of that needs to come to light. Because I am willing to make the generous offer that my lawyer made to you last week, and give you one final chance to settle with me.”

“Why would we ever settle with you??” Espeon snarled, but Umbreon stopped her.

“Because if you don’t, I will press charges,” Sparkleglimmer answered sternly. “And I will win.”

That shut Espeon up. And it kept them both silent, because they both knew: she was right.

“The papers are drafted up from last week,” Sparkleglimmer said. “I am willing to settle for a sum of five-hundred million poke. More than I should allow, given the circumstances, but I am willing to be generous just this once.

“I don’t care what the laws say,” Espeon muttered. “You didn’t have anymon else’s best interest in mind when you shut us down, you just took it. This is fraud and you know it.”

“Don’t care.”

The manetric set two papers on the desk. One already had Sparkleglimmer’s pawprint signature on the line below. The other was left blank.

“Now sign.”

When it was put that way, they didn’t really have a choice in the matter to begin with. As much as she didn’t want to, Espeon’s paw hovered over the inkblot on the desk. It stayed there a minute longer, she couldn’t find the strength to press her paw down and finish the job.

Umbreon did it for her. He pressed his own paw into the ink, sliding it under hers, and then marked his print on the bottom of the page.

“Your turn,” he said, and the tone he took made it clear it wasn’t up for debate.

With a forlorn look on her face, Espeon pressed her paw down, first on the inkblot, then on the paper.

“Splendid,” said Sparkleglimmer cordially. Her stern face read anything but. “Transfer me your bank details and we can get this transaction over with.”

~\({O})/~

Cloud Nine Hedge Gardens ~ A Few Days Later​

If nothing else, Sparkleglimmer was true to her word. The decided-upon amount of money had appeared in Espeon and Umbreon’s funds mere hours after the transaction had completed. Neither of them were willing to touch it.

A couple days later, the two of them had decided to take a morning walk out in the hedge gardens. They’d crossed hemispheres long ago, and left behind the suns of summer. Now the chilly winter wind nipped at their fur. They walked along a wide, long walkway across the very edges of the ship, with only sturdy guard rails between them and the clouds beyond that were slowly beginning to reflect the rays of a rising sun. They tinted the sky red.

“Well,” Espeon said, staring down at the clouds below as the sky slowly turned from night to day. “We got rich. And our discovery’s finally about to come to life.”

There was something very glum about that discovery coming to life without them.

“I mean, what was she thinking??” Espeon suddenly screamed. Her voice echoed through rows of empty hedges. “Why would she just do that?? Why take all our work and then just cut us out?? Why?? Why?? Why??”

The screaming continued for a bit, until Espeon had huffed and puffed herself all out. Once she was done, she just fell back to her haunches in the middle of the walkway, shutting her eyes and letting out a defeated sigh in exhaustion. She didn’t have any fight left.

All the screaming had drawn a small, spread-out audience from the few pokemon that were in the gardens from this time of day. Umbreon politely waved them off, trying to get them to focus their attention on what they were doing again instead of himself and Espeon.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” he began when Espeon had calmed down. While he didn’t explode like her, he looked just as beaten down. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About why she cut us out.”

“And?” Espeon asked him dejectedly.

“She wanted the technology for herself,” Umbreon said. “We were just a means of getting to it. My guess?”

The wind blew his fur. He looked out to the sea of clouds that lay beyond them, beginning to grow vibrant with the pink rays of dawn.

“Whatever HAPPI wants to do with those entercards, we wouldn’t approve.”

“We only wouldn’t approve if it’s not right,” Espeon muttered.

“Exactly.” Umbreon’s eyes dully surveyed the pink-orange clouds ahead. “We’re not morally flexible enough. So we had to go. That’s the missing piece.”

A few seconds of silence hung in the air,

“So now what do we do?” Espeon asked, finally raising herself to her feet. She joined Umbreon up near the railing, where they could both watch the brilliant display of clouds before them.

“Now?” Umbreon asked. It was rhetorical. What could they do?

He looked down to the brown satchel he wore. It was light, filled only with the things he’d never bothered to unpack. But maybe, what it had briefly carried…

“It’s a longshot, but how many of the parcels we sent arrived where they were supposed to? Even if we don’t own the rights, we could still get back our evidence.” He looked at Espeon. “Maybe figure out what they tampered with to improve our design.”

Espeon looked back. “Do you really think it’s going to be as easy as walking in there and taking back a package?”

“I think it’s worth a try,” Umbreon shrugged. “We don’t have anything to lose.”

The sound of a large horn rang out from behind them. The noise turned their heads back towards the domed central building in the distance, where a voice over loudspeakers echoed throughout the ship.

“Attention all passengers,” the amplified voice rang out, echoing over the gardens. What few pokemon were around immediately looked up towards the voice, giving it their full attention. “Cloud Nine will now begin the final descent towards our destination, Pokemon Paradise. Docking will commence in five minutes.”

A rumbling began to course through the decks below them, and both Espeon and Umbreon felt a ‘pop’ in their ears. The shaking of the deck continued, then suddenly jolted, and as the clouds around them started to rise, they knew: they had started to fall.

Soon, they had descended through the clouds completely. As Espeon and Umbreon peered over the side rails of the walkway, they could see the fields of dull green grass thousands of meters below, and beyond that, the many violet roofs of Paradise.

The landing had begun.

~\({O})/~​

Music of the Week:

The King’s Man – Matthew Margeson

Yennefer of Vengerberg – Sonya Belousova, Giona Ostinelli

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, dusting this off since there’s an offsite Review Tag up for grabs, and while trying to go through 11k words of fic on a worknight is probably one of my more questionable decisions out there.

A: I wanted to snag that Review Tag.
B: I really, really wanted to see how that part two of what's supposed to be Riolu's two-parter will shake out, since that ending last time was an absolutely giant cliffhanger.

So let's get right to it then, huh? And pick up where I left off reviewing with:

Chapter 23

The storm was gone the next morning, when the sky turned blood-red again. Shattered pieces of debris littered the sand outside, and as far as the barren landscape could be seen, everything was silent. Empty. Dead.

Riolu slowly rose from his spot inside the little hovel, staring blankly into the red distance and waiting for yesterday’s events to come back to him. When they did, he suddenly felt much less peppy. Next to him, Bryony slept, looking as tired as he felt.

Riolu: "... How on earth did you fall asleep after we watched those things eat everyone that we knew as allies for like the last week?" ._.;
Bryony: "Oh you know. Being exhausted. Needing to just curl up in a ball and cry for a while. Also, it's been more like 'a month' for me and wasn't the first time I've been through that. You... kinda get numb to it after a while."

“Come on…” Riolu muttered, shaking the sleeping form of Bryony awake. “Get up!”

Bryony stirred, groaning incoherently. She slowly sat up, looking at Riolu wearily.

“Wha… What happened?” she yawned. “I had the worst nightmare last night.”

Riolu: "That... wasn't a nightmare and you just acknowledged as such in the last cutaway." .-.
Bryony: "A: This isn't canon, B: what if I just prefer denial to soul-crushing despair, huh?"

Riolu frowned, then took a deep breath. “I’ll bet it was more than just a nightmare.”

Riolu: "I mean, seriously, Bryony. Just poke your head out and take a look around."

Exiting the hovel they had fallen asleep in, Riolu and Bryony walked around the debris and back up the dune they’d slept under. Where there had once been a bustling camp, what met them now was a space that had been swept clean. Anything that lay around on the ground still was either too large to be blown away, had caught on something, or was half-embedded in the sand.

If any survivors had remained, none called out to the two of them as they traversed the wreckage. Bryony’s pigtails flopped down in horror as she gazed around at the ruins of the camp they were walking through.

Riolu: "Again, Bryony. You were literally there for all of this!" >_>;
Bryony: "I was really, really hoping that I'd just overslept and had a nightmare. It wasn't the first one like that I'd had in this awful place..." :(
Riolu: "... (Wait, is that one going to turn out to be canon, or...?)"

“They…” she gasped, but couldn’t bring herself to say anything further. An uncomfortable silence dragged over them.

“We should scavenge before we go,” Riolu said, trying to draw attention off the tragedy before them. “Maybe they left something for us to eat.”

Bryony’s flippers trembled.

“I just need… five minutes…”

Cue the loud bawling behind what's left of that tent in 3... 2...

She didn’t look at him. Riolu just nodded, then walked off into what remained of the campsite. He’d find something for the journey back in the meantime.

Oh, thank goodness, we aren't going to have to see Bryony devolve into a blubbering wreck onscreen. Like it's already a sober opening, but that honestly would've be really wince-worthy (not in a bad way, but definitely an uncomfortable one) to read. ._.;

Just like Riolu had thought, the camp had a lot of food lying around, ripe for the picking. Unfortunately, little of that food was still in edible condition. Withered roots and the husks of what once could have been fruit lay on the ground, bruised and mashed beyond repair. The portable silo that held the water had collapsed in the storm, and had turned a good portion of the sand to sludge and mud. Riolu picked whatever bits and pieces he could get off the ground in edible condition, and eventually gave up on the prospect of water that wasn’t from the blood sea.

Ah yes, that sounds like a promising start to the next leg of your journey already. Low on allies and provisions to work with. ^^;

He handed a smelly root to Bryony on his way back from the camp.

“…What’s this?” she asked after a minute, looking down at it.

“Food,” Riolu said. “I ate them for a week, and others must have been eating them too.”

“There were fruits on the Air Continent,” Bryony said, sniffing the root. “I know because we took some with us.”

“Well, not anymore,” Riolu said. “They were all smashed to mush.”

... Wait, how on earth does that work for taking fruit from the Air Continent and into the Voidlands? Or is Bryony talking about taking fruit from the Voidlands' Air Continent?

He took a bite from his own root, grimacing slightly at the bitter, rotten taste before walking forward in the direction of the mountain. Even from here, they could see it.

Reverse Mountain became a beacon for them as they travelled, a final destination that was always visible and ever-present. Riolu walked back through the seas of rust-red sand, passing the tree-tangled hearts without much commotion. At one point, he bent over and began to hack away bits and pieces of the roots with his paws. Bryony watched him in silent horror as he chopped away at the roots, finally picking up two small ones and handing one to Bryony for lunch.

... Wait, how does Riolu "chop away" at roots when he has nothing that remotely approaches a sharp implement or claws to work with? You'd think he'd do something with more "wrenching" or "bending" or something like that to break the roots and then strip them from the rest of the tree.

“Did you just…” Riolu heard Bryony mutter in shock behind him, but she was quickly silent after that.

It was half a day’s journey back to the ruins of that old village, and Riolu quickly led Bryony towards where he knew the Litwick’s clearing was.

Riolu: "... How have I never gotten the idea to go back for them if I knew where they were all this time? Hope they're all not going to be too mad at me for just vanishing off and leaving the Litwick without proper food for a week." 😰

“It’s just this way,” he said to her as they walked. The mountain’s large figure loomed above them, much more ominous now than it had been from a distance. It was the kind of thing Riolu tried to avoid looking at for some reason, only daring to glance up at it in short bursts or out of the corner of his eye. Eventually, they entered the clearing where the litwick had been, but found that it was empty. Just like when he had first entered. Maybe they were just hiding because of Bryony.

“I’m back!” he hollered out. “Sorry for leaving!”

Riolu: "I-I meant to come back sooner, honest!" O_O;
Bryony: "Riolu, I think you're trying too hard right now." >_>;

Only silence greeted him. Riolu tilted his head. No, that wasn’t right. They must have been hiding.

“Anymon there?” he called out again. Silence greeted him. Not even the wind whistled through the rotting branches of the trees.

“C’mon guys!” Riolu yelled. “This isn’t funny!”

Actually, wait, why is Riolu using “anymon” instead of “anyone” when that’s very world-specific lingo and he’s been human up until about 2 weeks ago?

Though more relevantly for the story, even before the Void Shadow found them, did you really think that they were just going to sit and wait there while they had food problems for what had to be the better part of a week, Riolu?

He couldn’t hear any answer. Bryony tilted her head at him.

“Solosis?!” Riolu called out. “Anymon?!”

“There’s no-mon here,” Bryony said.

“But there was!” Riolu argued, spinning around to look at her. His eyes were wide, the expression on his face worried and desperate. “There were over a hundred litwick here just yesterday! And somemon called ‘Solosis’ too! Where could they all have gone?”

I... didn't realize that there were that many Litwick in the clearing. Somehow, I'd always envisioned it as closer to a 'dozen'.

Riolu: "I... I mean, I suppose I could think of some possibilities, but I really, really don't want them to be true since I know I'm definitely going to have trouble sleeping at night if they happened. (Maybe. Probably. Getting scared awake every morning was admittedly getting kinda old.)"

“You won’t like the answer,” Bryony said, folding her flippers.

“What does that mean?” Riolu asked loudly in distress.

“It’s just like what happened to my pokemon,” Bryony said. “There’s only one reason over a hundred pokemon disappear in one day: A Shadow got ‘em. That, or they all decided to move at once. But that’s unlikely. You have to assume the worst.”

Riolu: "... So much for sleeping again anytime soon."

Bryony: "Riolu, relax. It's not like you just abandoned them all, right?"
- Beat moment -
Bryony: "... Right?" >:|
Riolu: "I'm... just going to exercise my right to remain silent here. (I mean, at least there wasn't a Void Shadow around when I left them...)" ^^;

“They have to have moved somewhere,” Riolu said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to believe a Void Shadow got them. Not until I see it with my own eyes.”

“You’re seeing it now!” Bryony snapped, suddenly raising her voice. This was beginning to get to her. “Did anything you saw last night stick? They carve destruction in their paths, and they leave nothing behind. They’re gone, Riolu; you have to assume they’re gone.” She took a moment to breathe. “Just… keep it together. We both have to keep it together.”

You're... not exactly doing a great job of that yourself right now, Bryony, just saying. ^^;

Riolu’s gaze lowered, and he was silent. He began to trudge off in the direction of the mountain.

“I still want to look for them. We’ll find them. I know we will.”

Narrator:

Riolu: "H-Hey! If Bryony's allowed to have a bit of denial, I am too, okay?! There could've been some survivors from a group that big!" >///<

But the forests as they went stayed empty.

Yeah, that sounds more like it.

“Solosis—the leader of that litwick group—she said she would come up to that mountain every day and look for a way out,” Riolu said, as they headed up a largish hill on the way to the mountain. Riolu could see a trio of buildings at the very top, and Reverse Mountain loomed over it all in the distance. “But she always came back at the end of the day with nothing.”

“Did you ever go there with her?” Bryony asked, inching her way up the hill after him with her flippers.

“No, I’ve only been here a week,” Riolu muttered. They reached the top of the hill, stopping at a fork in the road.

Riolu: "Also, I kinda didn't want to get anywhere close to there since it kinda... well... looks obviously evil as a place."
Bryony: "And we're going there why again?"

Riolu: "Because that's where she thought the way out was and if Solosis is still alive, she'd likely be somewhere around there?" ^^;
Bryony: "Well, I just explained to you at length about how she's probably not alive, so just how sure are you there's actually a way out up there?"
Riolu: "I mean, Solosis was convinced there was one, so..."

“Around that building,” he said, pointing at the ruins of the large house directly in front of him. To both the left and right lay two other buildings, both in similar condition. One was smaller, more A path led around the remains of the middle one and straight down the hill. Riolu braced himself, and then slid down the hill on his rump.

It might make sense to give some sort of additional hint that that's the school they're passing (e.x. if Serenity Village's school has some sort of standout feature that carries over here as well), since... I kinda didn't pick up on that at all until it was pointed out over the Discord channel where I was initially assembling this review’s content. ^^;

He left Bryony behind. She tried to slide after him, but ended up hitting a rock and tumbled all the way down instead. She crashed into Riolu from behind, and they both tumbled to the ground in a heap.

This is going to be foreshadowing for later events in the chapter, I can already tell. ^^;

“Ow…” Riolu grumbled, rubbing his head and looking down at the ground. He saw large roots, staring him straight in the face. And they smelled putrid. Riolu’s eyes followed the roots are far as they could, watching them snake and tangle their way through the ground until they spiraled up and around another beating tree-heart in the distance.

Bryony lifted herself back up, gazing at the same thing Riolu was.

“What are these things…” Riolu found himself mouthing. They were the most consistent thing he’d seen in the landscape, and so far no-mon had explained just what they were.

“It was only a theory,” Bryony began, but then paused for a minute. “But I think they’re mystery dungeons.”

Oh so if anything ever happens to this realm as a whole, MDs will just be deleted from existence on the other side. Will file that note away for the future, especially for the much later acts of this story when things will inevitably get really crazy.

Riolu: "Wait, what? Based off what?"

“What’s a mystery dungeon?” Riolu picked himself up and began to walk through the mess of roots. Bryony followed, but she had a harder time of navigating the roots than Riolu did.

“Mystery dungeons are… places that don’t make sense. They form over completely ordinary spots of land and then they twist them. The insides look like a maze, made out of whatever the dungeon formed over. And at the center, there’s an Anchorstone—the original spot of land that the dungeon formed on, hidden deep in its depths. There are land dungeons, water dungeons, sky dungeons… Wartortle was even considering the possibility of a dungeon out beyond the stars.”

Wait, is the underlined supposed to be the final boss dungeon of PSMD? Or is that referring to something completely different there?

"Mystery dungeon..." Riolu thought for a moment. “You think that’s what’s on top of Reverse Mountain?”

“No-mon knows,” Bryony said. “I’d like the way back, myself.”

... That actually makes me wonder. Just how many links are there between the Voidlands and the normal world? Like the Ancient Barrow is obviously one, Revelation Mountain is almost certainly one given how aggressively Nuzleaf has been going after it. But if there's two right there in such proximity to others, there'd have to be more given that we've seen evidence of Void Shadow activity on 3 different continents at this point.

There was nothing else to say, and they walked at a steady pace in silence. Soon, they reached the base of Reverse Mountain.

Even from this close, the mountain shone, and Riolu could feel the heat pulsing from it. It vibrated through the air, and all of the sudden Riolu felt like he was standing in a fire. And then he saw what had puzzled Solosis all this time: From the very bottom of the mountain up to a point that Riolu couldn’t see was a jagged, insurmountable cliff. It looked like large pieces of the stone had been carved out, leaving a steep arch that spread outward and ended far higher than either Riolu or Bryony could ever hope to reach.

Bryony: "... You know, it's not too late to turn back now."

Riolu: "W-We can't just turn tail without checking to see if there's some way up there! I thought you wanted out of this place!" >_>;

And even if you could fly over, the mountain above was almost too hot to touch. Riolu didn't want to think about how it was higher up.

“How do we climb that?” Bryony asked. Riolu could only give one answer.

“I don’t know if we can,”

Riolu: "... Yeah, okay. We're not making it up there. Let's try looking around for alternatives." ^^;

Riolu and Espurr ran down the Barrow’s narrow halls, splashing in the swamp water as they went. They could still hear the Shadow lurking in the distance behind them.

“Where are you taking us?” Espurr called out as they ran.

“The next floor up!” Riolu called back.

Espurr: "Why, what's the next floor up?" :?
Riolu: "Hopefully relative safety and not Nyarlathotep? Sounds like a good enough reason to go up, huh?" ^^;

The goo ahead of them sudden began to bubble. Exhausted as she was, Espurr directed a beam of mental energy directly into the water, which flared up and slammed into the wall. The Shadow retreated into the goo just long enough for Espurr and Riolu to pass and round a corner.

“But the floors go down here,” Espurr yelled to Riolu as they ran. “Not up!”

“Think again,” Riolu replied, not even looking at her. “Look!”

He pointed ahead, and then Espurr saw what he did: just ahead of them was the Staircase. It led up, its perfect steps shining despite being surrounded on all sides by filth.

Espurr: "... I'm never going to feel clean again after leaving this place, am I?"

Riolu: "I mean, if you die here, you just won't be feeling anything. So try and keep things in perspective."

“Hey, what are you waiting for?” Riolu yelled from ahead, noticing that she had slowed down. “Do you want Nyarlathotep to get you?”

Espurr considered her options. The Stairs weren’t supposed to lead up. What if that was the final Staircase, and they both exited the dungeon? That would mean Tricky and the rest of them were still behind her. But at the same time… being caught by Nyarlathotep over indecision wasn’t an option either.

“Hey!” Riolu called out. “Creepy cat! Snap out of it!”

I see that Espurr's already trying to fail at that "death by indecision" thing in live time. :V

“It’s Espurr,” Espurr said. And then the walls began to shift again, so she ran like the wind. She reached Riolu, who grabbed her arm and pulled them both onto the Stairway. They vanished together, and the next thing Espurr and Riolu knew they were deposited straight onto the swamp water of another dungeon floor. Espurr let out a breath of relief, looking around the cavern in surprise. So the floors did go up here…

They both sat there in the swamp for a moment, catching their breaths. Nyarlathotep didn’t follow.

Not yet anyways. I'll seriously take the under on you two having made it out of the woods given that you're still in the Mystery Dungeon and I'm pretty sure we've already seen Nyarlathotep jump from floor to floor in past chapters.

It had been roughly a week, and both Riolu and Bryony had come to the depressing conclusion: There was no way to scale Reverse Mountain. Not by themselves, anyway. The cliff was made of stone; you couldn't dig into it with paws or flippers. Climbing it the conventional way was out of the question, since the steep, cave-like arch all around the bottom of the mountain required defiance of gravity to scale. And neither Riolu nor Bryony could fly.

Bryony: "Why did we just sit here for a week to figure that out when it was literally obvious the moment we walked up to this place?!" >_>;
Riolu: "... We were scouting for hidden entrances? I mean, sometimes problems do have non-obvious solutions. Also, the alternative was braving the woods where those monsters were lurking, so..." ^^;

Riolu was stumped, as was Bryony; soon they fell into a routine of collecting roots from heart-trees in the area for food and searching for another way out in the meantime. Riolu started exploring the remains of the nearby village during the day. Perhaps there might have been something he could find there.

... I just realized, but was one of those heart-trees Poliwrath River? Like can you literally eat a Mystery Dungeon to the point of collapse/death? Like I just realized that Poliwrath River imploded like a weak ago, and these two are eating from Mystery Dungeons in the Voidlands, so...

As the week passed, he found things. Ruined things, but still things he could use to build with. He didn’t know what Bryony was up to, but Riolu came up with a nifty plan on his own: If he couldn’t pierce the stone of Reverse Mountain with his own digging paws, he’d do it with a grappling hook! Now all he had to do was build one.

Least of all because that doesn't solve the problem of burning to death just by being close to the place. Unless that's all in your head and you can (theoretically) power through it.

The wrecked buildings in what was once the center of town had many more odds and ends to choose from than the ones on the town outskirts. Riolu nicked a few sharp knives from the large building in the center, and some rope from the stall to the left. There was a burnt tent to the southeast side of the square that held nothing useful. Riolu kicked some of the ruined tent remains aside, slinging the rope and knife over his shoulder. It didn’t look like there was anything else here. He looked up at the sky; having just finished turning from black to its usual blood red. There was still a while to go.

... Is that Café Connection and the Village Square there? .-.

Though if so, I have to wonder what the rules are for what gets to be on the "other side" here in the Voidlands relative to the normal world.

Riolu suddenly caught sight of movement from behind him. He spun around—had a void shadow snuck up on him unawares?

But what he saw was the fuzzy, faint outline of what looked like a pokemon his size, heading into one of the ruined houses in the square. It spared a look outside, glancing in Riolu’s general direction for a second. Riolu quickly hid behind the tent frame with his rope and knife. It was a few moments before he peeked out again.

... Wait a minute. Is that Pancham he's seeing? I mean, I wouldn't think so with the timeframe, but...

As the fear wore off, curiosity overtook him. What was that? Slowly, Riolu dropped the supplies he was holding, and crept out of hiding, tiptoeing over to the house. He stepped over what little remained of the wall, heading down the hallway once he realized what was once the parlor was empty. He peeked into the room on the left, and caught sight of the figure—

Startled, Riolu lost his balance for a minute. He stumbled into the dresser on the right, creating a loud ‘bang!’. Then, he caught his bearings and quickly darted out of the room. The last he saw of the figure was it quickly sitting up and looking in his direction.

... Yeah, guess I should've known better than to assume that. ^^;

“What’s that?” Bryony asked, eyeing the rope and knives Riolu had slung over his shoulder. She had a sack that was also collected from the nearby town, filled with more of the gross-smelling roots. The sunless sky was beginning to turn deeper and deeper shades of red, signaling the coming of nightfall. They had been foraging the whole day.

“It’s something for the mountain,” Riolu said, fiddling with one of the blades. “Maybe we can pierce it this way and climb up.”

I'll very heavily take the under on this brilliant plan of Riolu's actually managing to work, since I'm pretty sure that'd just wreck the knives if it hit something like a rock face.

“What about that big tree?” Bryony asked.

“What about it?"

The big tree could be seen from anywhere in the near vicinity. It was a beating heart-tree just like all the non-blackened trees in this place were, but it stretched far above anything else. At some point it had to have engulfed some island in the large lake out south of town, but its roots slunk out of the water and onto dry land from all sides.

Oh, so that's the one that's the Ancient Barrow. Though the sheer size of that thing is... concerning. No wonder why there's a seal on the Ancient Barrow. Or I guess more accurately, there was one.

"I passed it a couple of times yesterday, and I was pretty sure I saw some kind of door there," Bryony said. "But I was carrying that sack and the bridge going over there looks rickety, so I didn't take a look. I think it’s worth checking out. You think we should do that when…” she looked up at the blackening sky, hesitant to say ‘day’. “…When the sky’s red again?”

Riolu wasn't sure how well Bryony could see him still now that the light was disappearing, but he nodded. It was worth a try.

That... sounds like an awful idea if I ever heard one if these things really are Mystery Dungeons, since if that's accurate, I'm pretty sure that a big tree would directly correlate with a really, really strong Mystery Dungeon. ^^;

Slowly coming to. The reddening of the sky came earlier than Riolu thought, but he rose with it anyway. Bryony was still sound asleep, snoring next to him. He didn’t try to wake her. There was something he wanted to try… maybe if he took this opportunity now, he could finish and be back here before she woke at all.

I mean, literally everything you've experienced since coming here into the Voidlands ought to very, very heavily tilt to "going off on your own" being an awful idea, Riolu.

Especially since the first group you left behind to go off on your own is all but confirmed to have died horrifically.

He made the trek up to Reverse Mountain with his knife and rope in hand. The mountain glowed bright, lighting his way. Riolu had spent some of last night tying his equipment together together, even though he didn’t know the first thing about tying knots and his stubby paws didn’t help with that in the least. He just had to hope it held together well.

Riolu: "... Starting to get some second thoughts about doing all of this on my own without Bryony right about now." o_o;

The base of Reverse Mountain was as hard and volcanic as ever. Riolu felt flustered and started panting just from the heat. He looked up, and saw the stop of that large curved arch above him. Was this really a good idea? The heat was sweltering; how could he expect to climb if it would be like this the whole way up?

inb4 the rope of his grappling hook burns up when he tries to use it or something like that. Though if he's this uncomfortable just standing here, you'd think that'd make him question how on earth he's going to rappel up that thing.

But there was nothing to do but try. Riolu let the rope he held go slack until the tip of knife hit the sand below him with a thump. Then he started swinging. Over and over in circles, the knife gaining more momentum as it went—

—Riolu’s eyes widened and he quickly ducked just before the knife could clip off a good portion of his ear. The knife flew high over his head and embedded itself deep into stone. There, it quivered in place.

Okay, on a positive note, we established that these knives won't break if they hit a rock face. On the negative note, I like how it's been all of 30 seconds and Riolu has literally almost brought that Bubsy reaction image to life. :V

Riolu: "... Let's just hope that wasn't an omen for anything." O_O;

Losing his balance, Riolu fell backwards onto the ground. Hearing the sound of the knife embedding itself into the stone, he looked around and saw the knife’s blade sticking out of the rock high above, over the arches and at the very start of where the mountain properly began. Had it… had it been a success?

Riolu, if you have to ask the question... o<o;;

Riolu quickly jumped to his feet, scurrying over and pulling on the handle. It gave, but not without some resistance. Riolu pulled out the knife, but the momentum sent him falling back and landing on his tail. The knife hit the sand some meters in front of him with another thwump.

Riolu, how many times have you almost either killed or horribly maimed yourself in the last minute at this rate? I think that's as good a sign as any that you should try a different strategy here. .-.

Riolu groaned from the pain in his tail. He rubbed his backside as he stood up, the rope still in his paw. His eyes locked onto the knife in the sand; his heart jumped. It had worked. It had really worked! He quickly pulled on the rope, bringing the knife further back through the sand towards him. He reached down to pick it up, but found himself recoiling seconds afterwards—it was hot to the touch.

Still, this was a breakthrough! Hot as it was, they had a way to climb up now. He had to get back to Bryony. Letting the knife drag behind him in the sand, Riolu quickly headed back towards the forest behind him with a fevered excitement.

Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it-

>dat last sentence

Oh yeah, there is absolutely no way that making a trail that goes straight back to your hiding place could go wrong. None at all.

Talk about failing a spot check there. 😬

By the time that Riolu made it back to the forest clearing, Bryony was already long gone. For a moment, a pit of dread formed in his stomach, one that made him want to vomit— Had she been… taken? Were the Shadows already here?

I mean, I'm not convinced that Bryony's dead yet, but you'd think that with how cursed Riolu's luck is with wandering off that he'd have had a lot more hesitance before going off on his own like this.

Riolu: "... I knew I should've gone together with Bryony."

But if they were here, then Riolu knew this clearing was no longer safe. It was better to go to the ruined village, where there was some kind of shelter to hide behind.

It wasn’t until he reached the deserted village square that he caught sight of Bryony sliding herself down the pathway towards the south side of town. He quickly ran to catch up with her.

Oh thank goodness. She is alive. For now, anyways. Since I'm pretty sure she's doomed by canon by virtue of her not being with Riolu in the present day.

“Bryony!” he called out, catching up. Bryony looked back at him, her face relaxing into some kind of relief as she saw him.

“Where were you?” Riolu panted out as he caught up. “I saw the camp deserted and I thought…”

“I thought the same thing.” Bryony said curtly. She turned her nose up and continued to slide herself along, not even sparing another look at Riolu. “If you were going to leave, you should have said something to me. I had no choice but to assume a Shadow got you.”

Riolu folded his arms, puffed out his cheeks, and made a loud ‘pfffffff’ noise. Touché.

Bryony: "Really, why would you think that this was a good idea considering the last group of 'mons you wandered off from are all dead right now**?" >_>;
Riolu: "I mean, even if it was kinda dumb of me, at least it worked out? I even figured out a way to climb Reverse Mountain."
Bryony: "..."

- Bryony peeks over her shoulder and sees a long, snaking trail in the dirt from Riolu's knife -
Bryony: "..."

Riolu: "... Bryony? What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost." ._.;

The knife was still dragging behind them. It scraped on cobblestones, making a loud, upsetting grinding sound. Quickly, the rope was coiled up again and slung on Riolu’s shoulder.

Riolu: "Whoops, how long has that thing been out just dragging around? Can't possibly be good for the blade."
- Riolu picks up his knife and inspects it as Bryony looks back and sees a long streak of scratches in the cobbles -
Bryony:

Riolu: "Okay, seriously Bryony, if something's wrong, can you just tell me what's up? The silent treatment's getting a little annoying here." >:|

“So where are we going?” he asked a moment later.

“I’m going to check out that tree I told you about last night,” Bryony said. “I just… I have this feeling about it. I want to check.”

Riolu was silent after that. Only the knife, swinging idly from the rope slung over Riolu’s shoulder, made any noise.

Bryony: "Okay, seriously! First you make the world's longest trail on the ground with that damn thing and now you just have it swinging loosely from your shoulder?! Riolu, can you stop trying to tempt fate with that damn thing already?!" >.<
Riolu: "Er... oops? In my defense, I'm managing fine now with it and I'm pretty sure it's not scraping against the ground still?"

“There it is,” Bryony said after a while. They had outwalked nearly all the houses at this point, and the biggest thing ahead of them was a hill with a large dead tree trunk on it. But to their right, out on the island, was the truly massive tree Bryony had talked about. It extended up into the sky, so tall that it was hard to see the top. And sure enough, in the middle of the bottom, the roots looked like they had grown around a small hovel of an entrance. The only path leading to it was a single, rickety bridge that looked like it could collapse at any moment. Riolu stared at it hesitantly.

Oh, so the giant tree is the Ancient Barrow.

“…Are you sure?” he asked.

“Why not?” Bryony answered. “What have we got to lose?

Riolu: "... Our lives?"

Bryony: "I meant aside from that, Riolu." >_>;

“You two are wasting your time.”

Both Riolu and Bryony spun around. Bryony’s eyes lightened at what she saw.

“Charlotte!” she gasped. Seviper Charlotte slithered up from the path down south, a ragged look upon her face.

Oh, so there were other survivors from the encampment. Or at least one other one, anyways.

Boy is it gonna be painful to see these two go, since I can already see Bryony's relieved and overjoyed expression on her face right now. And you just know it isn't going to last.

“I… have been tailing you guys… for almost a week now…” she gasped out.

Bryony suddenly rushed forward and enveloped Charlotte in a hug.

Uh... wait a minute, I just realized. But Bryony's literally violating every single rule of contact with another Pokémon here in the Voidlands right now. Since these two have seen Charlotte for all of 30 seconds and there's exactly zero way of knowing that she's not really an imposter.

“I thought you were dead!!” she bawled out, burying her face in Charlotte’s scales. Charlotte tolerated the hug as well as she could, but Riolu could see undercurrents of annoyance.

I'm calling it now, that isn't Charlotte.

“Anyways,” Charlotte said, gently shaking Bryony off herself, “There’s nothing in that hovel. I camped out in there last night. It’s all just swamp water and muck.”

Okay, so I'm cheating and relying on meta knowledge as a reader right now, but that definitely isn't Charlotte.

“But…” Bryony wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at the house. “There’s no hurt in looking, right?”

Riolu’s head tilted.

“Yeah,” he said. “Why only show up now?”

Charlotte didn’t answer that. For a second, she went completely still.

Bryony: "C-Charlotte? W-What's wrong? Why did you suddenly freeze up like that?" ._.
Riolu: "Oh boy, I do not like where this is going right now..."

“So where do you guys camp out?” she asked instead. “I haven’t had a comfortable place to sleep for over a week.”

“We don’t exactly sleep in beds…” Bryony said.

“What about my question?” Riolu asked. Charlotte glanced at him.

“I didn’t hear you ask any question.”

Riolu: "’Why show up now?’"
Charlotte: "... Sorry, I don't think I heard that one either-"
Riolu: "Yes you did, now answer it already!"

“I asked why you only showed up now if you've been tailing us for a week,” Riolu said. He gripped the rope the knife was attached to, just in case. Charlotte’s eyes followed his own. "And that's a pretty uncomfortable place to camping out in. Why not in the town?"

“Like I said,” Charlotte repeated harshly after a bit. “There’s nothing in there but muck.”

“Then you won’t mind if we go in and look,” Riolu said. And with that, he turned around and strode towards the house.

“nO—” Charlotte suddenly screamed, and she shot towards Riolu quicker than Bryony could react.

Oh boy. I knew that things were going to go there, but I wasn't expecting it to go this quickly...

Guess I should get in my bets on Bryony's death pool right about now, huh?

Bryony: "C-Charlotte?! W-What are you?!" O.O
Riolu: "Bryony, that isn't her! Literally nobody other than Void Shadows has that speech pattern!"

Riolu acted fast. He grabbed the rope-knife, and threw.

Bryony screamed and then edged herself away from Charlotte, who now had Riolu’s knife stuck halfway through her head. The brionne looked at Riolu in horror.

“Why would you do that?!” she screeched at him.

“That’s not who you think it is!” Riolu cried.

IMO, Riolu's line should be a bit more animated than he presently is, since he just got charged by a Void Shadow right there.

Bryony: "Sh-She was struggling for a week, Riolu! That could've just been her with a hoarse voice! That-! That-!"
Riolu: "Bryony, there was no mention of any blood on the knife after it hit her."
Bryony: "Wh-Wha-? B-But then- Who is?"

The knife slid out of Seviper’s skull on its own and hit the ground with a thump. ‘Seviper’—very much alive—looked up at them both with eyes that weren’t right. She grinned at them with a mouth full of too many fangs.

“gOt Me.”

And then its face split open sideways. Bryony yelped and scrambled all the way back to where Riolu stood on the bridge. Quills grew out of its back. It grew limbs, and then claws. The last of the dull blue and yellow scales were eaten up by murky black goop, and then Nyarlathotep stood before them in Its full glory.

Riolu + Bryony:

Riolu: "I told you that it wasn't her! But nooooo..." >.<

A silent understanding fell between both Riolu and Bryony—run. And so they did. Riolu ran like the wind; he could outrun a Shadow! But it was only a few seconds before he noticed that Bryony wasn’t keeping up with him. She had to slide her way across the ground; that wasn’t fast enough! Nyarlathotep took chase, and Riolu turned back. He scooped Bryony up and began to drag her along. What was left of the rope on his shoulder began to unravel.

... I can already tell that the paragraphs right after this one are going to make me wince hard.

They were fast, but not fast enough. Nyarlathotep charged. A swipe of its claws, and Bryony was knocked to the side. Riolu was pinned to the ground.

Nyarlathotep leaned over Riolu, and the nightmare goo that dripped from its body stained Riolu’s chest. Riolu struggled furiously, but it was all in vain. Nyarlathotep opened its mouth of fangs that took up its whole face, and began to lean in towards Riolu. Riolu closed up his eyes and scrunched up his nose to avoid the putrid smell, turning away. He was going to be eaten…

Water suddenly blasted the two of them, drenching him in wetness—

“Over here!”

Oh, guess not just yet then. Also:

Riolu:

Bryony: "Yeah, well focus on staying alive so you can have them first!" >.<

Bryony’s voice rattled through the sound of Nyarlathotep’s breath, and in an instant its head turned towards the other pokemon and its ginormous hand was off Riolu’s chest.

Riolu acted fast—he reeled in the rope, until he could grasp the handle of the kitchen knife. Nyarlathotep began to romp towards Bryony, who couldn’t get away in time, and that was when Riolu made his move. He took aim, and threw the knife as hard as he could.

It embedded itself in the back of Nyarlathotep’s head. Nyarlathotep turned its head to look at Riolu, and Riolu saw the tip of the knife sticking out of its throat. He tugged on the rope.

For a being that's essentially a giant goo monster, those are some really brutal visuals there. Really exploiting the fact that this technically isn't viscera here for this shot to preserve the 'T' rating.

Another stream of water hit Nyarlathotep, but before the Void Shadow could react Riolu ran up and kicked one of Nyarlathotep’s legs out from under it. The Shadow lost its balance, narrowly missing falling on Riolu or Bryony. It collapsed on the ground with a loud thud, and Riolu quickly got to his feet.

Already, the goo was beginning to lose its shape and reform into Nyarlathotep’s standing position. Riolu forgot about retrieving the knife and rope, and picked up Bryony instead.

Riolu: "I-It's alright, Bryony. W-We're gonna make it. W-We're gonna-"

The path would be too easy for it to follow them; Riolu bolted off into the woods instead. He knew where he was going. The distant screech of Nyarlathotep rang out from far behind them.

A hunting call.

Riolu: "..."

Bryony: "... You just had to run your mouth off, didn't you, Riolu?" >_>;

Riolu could tell he had made it just by the smell. He sped into the clearing where the heart-tree he had slept by the night he had left the litwick camp was, collapsing to the ground and dropping Bryony the second he was out of the trees. He panted in exhaustion, then wrinkled up his nose. This place smelled more awful than he remembered.

Bryony picked herself up from the ground, dusting her flippers off. She said nothing. The two of them sat there for a few seconds, completely silent. Neither commented on the smell.

Bryony sniffled.

Uh... yeah, I'd cry too after an eldritch abomination got my hopes up and then horrifically crushed them right in front of me like that. Not that this isn't a major

mood.

“I just really wanted to believe it,” she mumbled quietly. It Her voice sounded broken. “I really wanted to believe she wasn’t dead.”

She curled up on the ground and stuck her head in her flippers, and then all was silent.

They slept in the trees that night, using what little branches remained as cover. Every so often a pidgeot would soar over the forest, scouting out below. The instinctive urge to call out for help every time he saw the bird-shaped silhouette fly across the night sky came to his mind often, but Riolu knew better. He knew what it was, and it wasn’t a pidgeot.

Riolu: "... Bryony, we are sure that those monsters won't find this hiding place, right?"

Bryony: "N-No, not at all."
Riolu: "... Fantastic." o_o;

The sky began to slowly turn red again, but Riolu hadn’t slept a wink.

Bryony still wasn’t talking in the morning. Even when they both climbed out of the tree they were sleeping in. They ate a silent breakfast of roots and drank some water that Riolu had collected from the riverbank by the ruined village, and then they went their separate ways. It was dangerous, now that they knew what was lurking nearby, but they couldn’t just wait around and do nothing. They knew Nyarlathotep wouldn’t stop until it had found them.

Uh... yeah, that would be a pretty good reason to not want to stay in one place for too long. Though I wonder how long it's going to take them to realize that Nyarlathotep tried to chase them away from the Ancient Barrow for a reason.

Riolu went back down to the town to see if he could gather some more knives. He had taken the biggest one yesterday, but surely the others would work. He just needed two, and some more rope. He made his way down to the center of the village just like he had the other day, and entered the large café building to the north.

The knives had been lying around in a pile next to all the other silverware. That was where Riolu had left them yesterday. That was why he tensed up when he entered the kitchen, and saw that all of it was gone. Riolu quickly looked around to make sure nothing else was gone. There was only one reason those knives would be missing. Had It known that Riolu was going to come back here?

I mean, shouldn't Riolu know by know that Void Shadows are intelligent by this point? Also, I see that he left Bryony on her own. Again. While multiple Void Shadows are pursuing him and her.

All of the sudden he scrambled over and hid under the counter. He could hear something approaching from outside, heavy breathing rasping from beyond a wall. Damnit—It had known. This was a trap! Riolu knew he couldn’t stay here; Nyarlathotep would find him at this rate. There had to be a way out.

Riolu’s ears pricked up, as above the counter he heard the loud stomping get closer. It had entered the room. It looked around, sniffing. It smelled him. Riolu frantically looked around for a moment, looking for something—anything—to use. His eyes settled on a frying pan.

Ah, so this is the scene that the chapter image depicts. Definitely a solid choice, since it's nice and tense + memorable.

Though, yeah. That's another reason why going without Bryony was a bad idea.

There was a hole in the wall to his left. From what Riolu remembered, a Void Shadow’s true form didn’t have any eyes. It navigated from memory, smell, and sound. He slowly crept over to the frying pan and picked it up from the ground, making sure to make as little of a sound at possible. He glanced at the hole, and he heard the Shadow begin to tromp towards his position. It was now or never. Riolu aimed for the hole, and then threw the pan. It clanged against a building in the distance, and Riolu heard the Shadow snarl. It leapt over the wall, heading out in a different direction after where it thought Riolu was going.

Riolu wasted no time. He picked himself up from under the counter and quickly looked around the kitchen once more. Come on—where were the knives?

Bold of you to assume that Nyarlathotep wouldn't have just flatly destroyed them, Riolu.

Not here, it became clear. Riolu decided to leave the building, in the opposite direction the Shadow had gone. He quickly sped out the back door and headed around the left side to the front. But he stopped when his eyes were met with the very sight that he didn’t want to see: a Void Shadow prowling around in the middle of the square. Riolu froze. Had Nyarlathotep come back that quickly?

Sniff.

Riolu: "I'm... gonna regret finding out what that noise is really quickly, aren't I?" O.O

Riolu’s head turned towards the alleyway where he had come from, where heavy sniffing sounds were emerging. There was another one! The reality dawned on Riolu: Nyarlathotep had brought company.

How many? And how to get out of this? Riolu silently leapt the next wall, evading sight from both the Shadows in the area.

He found the knives in a pile in the middle of the living room of the next building. A bang from behind him, and he realized he had to keep moving. He snatched up two of the knives and ran down the hallway. He made a left turn into one of the two bedrooms at the end, and took a moment to relax. A sudden screech from one of the Void Shadows outside shocked Riolu and made himself tumble into one of the bookshelf at the very end. It rattled noisily, and Riolu did his best to stop it from rattling.

That now makes me morbidly curious if Void Shadows ever pull an Operation Nifty Package with their screeches in this story on Pokémon that they corner but can't get to directly in order to psychologically torture them into the point where they either slip up or just snap and give in.

Then he noticed the ghost had sat up.

Riolu was slightly scared, but he was scared of the Void Shadows more. He set the knives on the floor and then walked out from behind the bookcase. The ghost continued to stare at him. It looked about his height, and it distorted the background around itself a little, but what was it? Riolu took a step closer. The ghost stumbled back until it was leaning against a wall. Or rather, thin air where a wall once was. Riolu walked forward, up until he was face to face with the shadow. He tilted his head when it didn’t react. Why wasn’t it responding??

Wait. Is Riolu seeing the kids in the Ancient Barrow right now? Or else what am I to make of that 'ghost' there?

Creak. Something moving through the floorboards.

Sniff. Something smelling the air for him.

Whelp, so much for that refuge. Though I'm now getting the melodious soundtrack of whenever you fight Khezu in Monster Hunter playing in the background right about now.

Riolu knew what it was, and he realized he had no more time to waste on this ghost. He charged straight through it, but he felt nothing. Landing on the ground outside of the house, he quickly got to his feet, picked up the knives, and began to run into the square again. Not a second later a Void Shadow charged through the wall Riolu had just jumped over, setting its sights on him. It was Nyarlathotep.

Riolu: "Nope nope nope nope."

Nyarlathotep screeched, and all of the other Void Shadows focused on its call. Riolu counted at least three others. He took a right turn for some of the other houses, ducking and dodging through the alleyways, looking for ways to evade them. How he was going to escape. Just… just think. Riolu ducked into an empty house for a minute and collapsed against the wall where no-mon could see him. The Void Shadows… they followed their noses, right? So all Riolu had to do was mask his scent. But the only way he knew how to do that was with water. And…

…And he was near a riverbank. It all clicked. If he could get to the riverbank, then…

Riolu quickly sat up with the knives. He could hear the Void Shadows drawing near. It was time to go. If he had any hope of reaching the water before they caught him, he had to leave now.

Ouch. So he really does just leave Bryony behind like that, huh?

Riolu weaved through the town, heading in a loop back to the village square. He could see the riverbank from here, and it was just a few meters away… Riolu fell into a full-on sprint. So close; he focused his eyes on the river and sped up as much as he could. One of the knives nicked his leg. Riolu yipped in pain and hit the ground hard. The knives went flying and landed hilt-up in a nearby ditch.

Pulling himself to his feet, he groaned; the wound hurt and was lightly bleeding. His leg hurt to walk on. A roar sounded from right behind him; he didn’t see but knew it was a Shadow. How had they caught up to him already?? Riolu looked back, and saw that a Shadow was galloping right for him. No time to think. He forgot all about the knives and dived into the river.

Yeah, that's kinda why you don't want to run around with knives without them being secured somehow.

Riolu: "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE."

It was dark and silent under the riverbank. Riolu couldn’t hear the screeches of the void shadow from under here, but he also couldn’t breathe. Speaking of… he needed to get some air. Riolu swam towards the surface, breaking it and gasping for air. He floated along, paddling occasionally with his arms to stay afloat.

inb4 it turns out that Void Shadows can swim too. Or else that they can smell his blood in the water.

Bryony slid herself through the landscape, yawning. She didn’t know where she was going, just that she needed to take a stroll. Something to clear her mind of… yesterday. Something to help her forget. She’d been at it for she didn’t know how long either, but it had been a while. She didn’t even know where she was now. She had abandoned the forest long ago, and instead a long field of half-charred dead bushes lay in front of her.

She trudged on in silence for a while, until the sound of voices caught her ears. Brionne looked towards where they were coming from in confusion. More shadows?

“Look at the sky, Eevee! Does that look normal to you?? I’d rather have had a markup over this!”

Oh it's those two. I mean, they've kinda come at a really, really bad time now, but I suppose it's nice to see them again. For all of about two minutes before they become Void Shadow chow at this rate.

“Stop lecturing me like it’s my fault! Do you think I brought us out here with the intention of getting us stranded wherever this is? Who does that? Not me! Back off!”

“I have every right to lecture you! This was your idea in the first place! If not for you I’d be sleeping in a bed right now, all comfy! Instead I slept on the ground, like an animal!”

If these two weren't in such massive danger at this moment, this would be a really entertaining popcorn moment right about now.

If these were Shadows, then this was the most elaborate ruse Bryony had ever come across. She decided to investigate further.

“Hey!” she called out, approaching the arguing ‘mon from a distance. A fletchinder and an eevee quit their argument for a second to stare at her.

“Quiet!” they both told her in unison, and then went back to arguing. Bryony slid herself closer to them silently. She was sure they weren’t Shadows now.

Bryony: "... Should I bother explaining to them what's going on? Since with the way those two work together, I doubt they'll last a day here..." .-.

“We thought we told you to get out of our fur,” Eevee hissed at Bryony as she slid herself up to them.

“Do either of you realize where you are right now?” Bryony asked.

“I wish…” Fletchinder grumbled.

“Okay. This is going to sound weird,” Bryony said, “but the both of you need to come with me. For your own safety.”

Both Eevee and Fletchinder looked at each other. When the word safety was involved… they looked less keen on brushing her off.

Oh so these two did manage to survive more than two minutes in the Voidlands. I was a little worried for a moment that their arguing was going to attract a Void Shadow and that they were just going to get eaten onscreen right then and there. ^^;

Riolu slowly floated down the river, bobbing along and paddling himself towards the nearest shore away from town. He pulled himself out onto the riverbank, shaking himself off the best he could. He was soaked and panting for breath, and the wound on his leg stung. He cast a look back towards the village in the distance. He’d lost the Shadows… for now. It was time to get away from here, before he was caught again. Riolu passed a large, destroyed welcome gate on his way out of the town. He’d never been down this way before, and in the distance he could see what looked like a field of charred plains.

He stopped running and limped along for a bit, letting the ambient heat dry his fur off. Soon he was among the field of dead bushes, and he stopped. This looked like a good place to turn around and figure out where he was. He needed to go… north. Yes. Riolu turned towards Reverse Mountain, and began to trudge in that direction.

I'm repressing so much of an urge right now to scream at the screen to 'go to the big tree, Nyarlathotep chased you off from there for a reason' right about now. This kid just won't let that mountain of his go, huh? ^^;

Then his ear twitched, picking up the faintest of sounds.

In the distance, he heard what sounded like voices. One of them was Bryony’s.

Bryony was here? Riolu spun in the direction of the voices, and saw Bryony leading what looked like two other pokemon onwards. And they were heading in the direction of the village. Riolu’s tail went flat in horror. They were going the wrong way! They were going to—

Again, this is why you don't run off from your teammates in this place.

Without thinking, he took off after them.

“Hey!! Wait!!” he called out at the top of his lungs as he loped along. Whether that would attract that Shadows, he didn’t care. He just needed to make sure they didn’t walk into the trap.

Bryony didn’t hear him. Riolu called out again, even louder this time. He was going as fast as he could, but with his limp he just wasn’t fast enough. They were already at the end of the fields.

Riolu, none of this would be happening if you didn't go to town on your own.

“Stop!! You’re walking into a trap!!” Riolu yelled, loping towards them so fast he nearly twisted his leg. Finally, Bryony turned around to look at Riolu, having heard him yelling but not heard what he said. Copying Bryony, Fletchinder and Eevee turned around.

“Who’s that?” Eevee asked.

“That’s my friend,” Bryony answered. “But what’s he doing?”

It was too late. A Shadow romped down the path towards them, and because they were staring at him only Riolu could see it. He pointed behind them and shouted desperately, but he was still too far away. They couldn’t hear him.

Bryony didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. She was suddenly snatched up by a large, black hand, and when she turned around the maw of Nyarlathotep stared her in the face. Extra limbs shot straight out of its body like tentacles and snared Eevee and Fletchinder as well. And even though they protested, it was all to no avail. Nyarlathotep’s body split open into a gaping maw that took up its torso, and all three pokemon were fed screaming to the Shadow.

Oh, so I see that "two minutes" was closer to "five".

Riolu made a hard left and dove behind a bush before Nyarlathotep could see him. He fell on his hurt leg. He was crying, but he did all he could to stay quiet. He couldn’t be found. He just couldn’t. He had to find a way out of here.

Guess this kid really is going to have nightmares for a while. Assuming that he lives past the next chapter or two since Espurr and the gang are still stuck in a MD together with Nyarlathotep.

It was a few moments, but eventually he heard Nyarlathotep let out a terrible screech, and then it galloped away from where Riolu was.

Riolu clenched the rust-red dirt under his paws. And clenched it again. And again. It was all he could do, stuck in mind-numbing shock. Clenching and unclenching.

There had to be a way out. There just… there had to. Riolu refused to believe they was trapped here. He refused to believe there was no way out. And if there wasn’t, if they were really doomed to stay here until they died, then maybe being devoured by a Void Shadow was a mercy.

Oh... oh boy, that thought process is certainly concerning. Even if I can fully understand why Riolu's going there right about now.

And then the full force of reality hit him, lying there in the sand: He was all alone. Forever. Bryony… Solosis… Wartortle, who he had only known for a day but still enjoyed the company of… the litwick… all gone. Only he was left.

Riolu curled up in a ball, and for the rest of the day, he sobbed to himself.

... Sure is a good thing that Nyarlathotep and the rest of the hunting party didn't think to circle around to also look for Riolu, since otherwise he'd probably have gotten a test of that 'mercy' about 2 minutes after this sequence.

On one level this is really sad and depressing, but on another level: Riolu, none of this needed to happen if you'd just stopped being such a damn idiot and remembered you're stuck in the world full of shapeshifting monsters and didn't insist on going off on your own at every single opportunity.

The sky boomed, and Reverse Mountain erupted in volcanic flame. Riolu fled through the woods, trying to get out of range from the falling bits of ash and fire.

I... take it that's a sign that Nuzleaf actually made it to the other side through Revelation Mountain, huh?

It had all been so sudden. Previously, not a sound could be heard rattling through the Voidlands. Even the Void Shadows had grown less aggressive after a while, less interested in the prospect of having Riolu for lunch.

Riolu lived near the decaying heart tree in the woods southeast of the ruined village now. It was the only place any signs of his presence were stamped out safely, the only place that the Void Shadows wouldn’t eventually follow him. And none of them had. He ate what little roots had still grown from the tree’s dead remains, and drank from the lake. The tree had died roughly a week and a half ago. Its heart had stopped beating. Riolu reckoned he’d killed it.

Oh, so you can eat a Mystery Dungeon out of existence in this story. And so that was why Poliwrath River had something wrong with it that made it keel over.

Every so often, he would sneak down to the village when the Shadows weren’t looking and look around. The knives were long gone.

He still felt dizzy at the thought that he was all alone here. He would see hallucinations in the woods—maybe Bryony’s flipper, or the flame of a litwick—But they’d all be gone at a second glance. Not the tricks of a Shadow, but rather the tricks of a mind.

Oh, so now you want company, Riolu. Should've thought of that two weeks ago.

At some point, a week after it had all occurred, Riolu found a piece of twisted scrap while foraging in the ruined town. It was sharp, not sharp or strong enough to pierce the mountain, but sharp all the same. A thought occurred to him, one that didn’t scare him anymore: He could just… end it here. End the misery. End the nightmare. The Void Shadows would find and devour his body, but he wouldn’t feel it. For him, the nightmare would be over. Maybe, after he’d… maybe afterwards he’d see everymon else, all the ones that had died and left him here. He’d give anything to see Bryony again, or just one of the litwick…

Well that certainly got dark fast. Even if it's hard to fault Riolu for being in a bad place right now, especially if he realized just how much of those earlier problems over the past two chapters were technically his fault over the preceding few weeks.

The scrap was pointed at his throat, just an inch away, held by shaking paws. It didn’t move closer, nor farther away. For a few minutes, it stayed there.

Riolu might have done it, if he hadn’t seen the ghost.

Riolu: "Wait, wh-what? What is that-?"

It stood there, outside the large restaurant building, leaning against a wall that no longer existed. It looked like it was having a conversation with something that he couldn’t see, and all the same he guessed he was invisible to it. But whatever it was… it meant he wasn’t completely alone in here. He found himself lowering the scrap piece, holding it looser and looser in his paws. It eventually hit the sand beside him, forgotten.

He still had no idea what the ghost was. He could see it, but apparently it couldn’t see him. The patrolling Void Shadows from before had meant that he couldn’t study the ghost full-time, but Riolu still went down to the ruined village when he could to follow it around. It slept when the sky was red, for some reason, and he could only catch view of it at dusk or dawn.

Wait a minute. Is that Espurr he's seeing there? Since I just realized that he's seeing a ghost, at just about the same time that Espurr was being bothered with hauntings. So...

And then… this. Riolu had been nibbling the last of the roots left on the dead heart-tree, when suddenly everything around him had suddenly exploded into noise. A pillar of flame erupted from the top of Reverse Mountain, and the sky rumbled and boomed with unseen thunder.

hunt.

Find.

Kill.

Riolu: "... Well that ain't good."

Riolu heard the words, and they came from the skies. And then he heard a worse sound still: The sound of tens of Void Shadows all screeching in unison. It came from everywhere, and it buffeted Riolu’s ears and he couldn’t stop hearing it but it was unbearable—

Crouching over, he whined and covered his ears the best he could, trying to block out the sound. The debris from above was beginning to land. A slab of burning rock crushed a couple of trees near him out of nowhere. It was several times bigger than Riolu was. Shaken, Riolu quickly continued onwards, staggering towards the town.

He fled north, away from the where the far-flung debris was landing and up towards that hill where nothing was burning. The decaying forests beyond the town were a place of death and despair, and once the fires burning south started spreading up, they would be unlivable. Riolu was happy to leave it behind.

... Wait, is this also affecting the normal world? If so, just how much of a smoking crater is Serenity Village and its surroundings right about now?

Eventually, he lost track of where he was going, heading into the woods between the town and the mountain. All he knew was that it would be a while until the fires reached here. He had at least a few hours. Riolu sat down against a dead tree, and gazed up at the erupting mountain in the distance. Every day, it seemed like his hopes of leaving got farther and farther away. His only way out, on top of that mountain, everymon had said. Well, now it was going up in flames.

Riolu didn’t cry. He didn’t have any left in him. He took a deep breath, and simply watched the mountain erupt for a bit. It was peaceful, in a way, silent even from this close. Looking at the mountain no longer scared him anymore.

Slowly, the figures of several blue flames began to become visible once again. Riolu saw them flicker in the woods, but he ignored them. More hallucinations.

Narrator: "Those aren't hallucinations."

Even if I'm not fully sure if that's supposed to be the Dungeon Runners he's seeing or someone else. Though given the later sequence like a scene after this, you might want to explicitly mention three blue flames being present.

But were his hallucinations ever so clear? Not daring to trust hope, Riolu took a second glance at them. They were faint, but they didn’t disappear when he looked. He slowly rose from his sitting position. Was it true?

He watched as slowly, several candle-stems followed the flames in visibility. His heart soared, and the next thing the litwick knew Riolu was running towards them in joy. He hugged the closest one—it didn’t matter which one—tightly.

... Wait, are those the actual Litwick or are those their departed spirits? I... kinda can't tell right now. ^^;

“I thought you guys were gone…” he muttered out, eyes closed.

“We nearly were,” one of them said. It sounded angry. Riolu looked up at it in confusion.

“We had a deal,” another one of them continued. “Where did you go? Why did you leave us all to die?”

Oh boy, so Riolu is going to get a chewout for all those boneheaded moves he kept making for the past couple chapters.

“I- I-“ Riolu couldn’t come up with a proper response. “There was this thing in the sky, and I was only going to be gone a day, an—”

Litwick: "You were gone for weeks!" >:|

He stopped, looking down. There was no excuse, he knew.

“I’m sorry.”

There was silence between them for a moment. Then Riolu looked up.

“Where are the rest of you? Where’s Solosis? How come you guys weren’t at the camp when I came back? It’s been two weeks.”

Riolu: "... Actually, I don't want to know the answer to that question, do I?"

Litwick: "Well, too bad. You're getting it anyways."

Tall-Flame came forward. “This is all of us,” he said. “All of us that are left.

A monster attacked our camp. Solosis was eaten so we could get away. We…” Tall-Flame shuddered, reliving horrible memories. He was having a hard time continuing. “We had nothing to eat. All those weeks of hunger… most of us disappeared!” he bawled, then broke down entirely into tears.

Now time for Riolu to get the rest of them killed in like a scene at this rate considering his luck bringing horrific fates onto others from not thinking his actions through. ^^;

Riolu: "Y-Yeah, I... really would've preferred to stay blissfully ignorant there."

No-mon else had the will to speak; they just watched Tall-Flame cry, mourning all the dead litwick.

“You guys don’t have to forgive me.”

Cue the angry rant in 3... 2...

Riolu stepped back, drawing his eyes away from the footprints he left in the sand. “I watched pokemon die too. I’m sorry it happened like this.” He had the litwick’s attention.

They stared at him, skeptical but waiting for him to go on.

“I think I know where the way out is. Not on top of that mountain. But we have to wait for nightfall.”

“You know for sure?” one of the litwick asked skeptically.

“Not for sure.” Riolu shook his head. “It’s just a hunch somemon had.”

For whatever reason, part of me feels as if this bit is a bit light on description. I dunno if it'd be better to expand the one description paragraph that's there to show RIolu's internal thought process of "hey wait a minute..." more, or if more smaller paragraphs would similarly work, but something about the direction this convo is going feels like it wasn't fully built up.

He looked back towards the forests in the distance, where smoke could be seen rising over the hill from far away.

“But the fires will reach us before long and then the rest of us will die. We’ve got nothing left to lose. Why not try?”

Considering how we see exactly none of these Litwick when Riolu crosses over, I'll take the under on this idea actually turning out well. Even if they all are kinda short on options right about now.

The litwick exchanged looks.

“Well…” one of them said. “I guess it’s better than trying to go up the Bad Place.”

Tall-Flame slowly picked himself up off the ground and began to float again.

“I’m okay now,” he said. “I still have breakdowns sometimes.”

Somehow I doubt he's the only one, since watching most of your friends starve to death over the better course of a month is... yeah.

“So where’s this way out you speak of?” another litwick piped up. “It’s down on the south side of town…” Riolu began.

Alright, time to sneak into a big tree, I think. And probably also rack up a 90+% casualty rate in the process.

“If we’re going to get past the Void Shadows and to the tree, then we’re going to have to be clever about it. That’s why we can use the fires to our advantage.”

The fires quickly spread throughout the woods, catching from tree branch to tree branch and burning them all to the ground. Up above them, Reverse Mountain slowly began to return to a fiery simmer, but the damage was done—everything around it was alight.

“It’ll reach the village by nightfall, and I’m willing to bet that fire hurts these creatures. We can use the opportunity to slip past them.”

Tall-Flame: "Are we seriously gambling everyone's well being on a hunch of yours?" >_>;
Riolu: "Considering how the alternative's either burning to death in a fire, or starving to death in the ashes afterwards... yes?"

The sky turned back, and the village burned. Void Shadows had returned to the village after a brief absence—the arrival of the flames at the town’s borders had sent them into hiding. Riolu slowly crept through the forest towards the fire, burning bright orange in the light. He could see the outskirts of the burning buildings, and he silently waved the litwick after him. They followed.

The fires burned the trees all around them, and the flames burned brighter than Reverse Mountain did. Riolu took a step onto the cobblestone streets of the town, nearly recoiling at how hot it was. Then he took another. He’d just have to grit his teeth and bear it.

... Sounds like a way to seriously mess up your feet, but yeah. Not a lot of options here right now.

He didn’t see any Void Shadows. Riolu crept forward into the village square, looking around at all the burning buildings that lit the place an eerie orange glow.

“It’s to the south,” he said. “There’s a big tree, and it’s on an island. It’s there. That’s the way out.”

The litwick looked at each other.

“That’s where the Ancient Barrow used to be,” they said.

Tall-Flame: "I'm sorry why are we supposed to believe this idea of yours will work again?"

Riolu: "Because the giant, evil ringleader of these monsters literally went out of its way to chase me away from it? Why would it do that if there wasn't something like a way out on the other end?"
Tall-Flame: "... Good enough for me! (Though if any of us make it to the other end, I don't think any of us are going to live down how close we were to getting back to safety in the other world.)"

A board suddenly snapped amongst a burning structure, the restaurant behind them. Riolu turned, and as he turned he saw it—standing amongst the wreckage was a Void Shadow. It leered at him menacingly from behind the wall of flame that separated them. But it didn’t move. It couldn’t, Riolu realized, without going through that fire first.

Go on, it seemed to taunt anyway with a faceless grin. See how far you get.

Riolu: "Whelp, good thing most of us are Fire-types right now. Only one way to find out how well this'll end." ^^;

Riolu stared back in contempt. The Shadow couldn’t see it, but he didn’t care anymore. He turned around and began to walk towards the southern entrance. Then he broke into a run, ushering the litwick after him.

The buildings flew by as he ran, burning and bright. Riolu paced himself so that the litwick wouldn’t be left behind. He focused his eyes ahead, but then as his ears twitched they opened wide—

He was just in time to see a Void Shadow sprint out of the wreckage from the side, obstructing the path ahead. Riolu hit the ground and rolled under its legs, not skipping a beat. The litwick soared over it. The Void Shadow gave chase, but Riolu took a right turn into a building to throw it off.

Oh, so we are going to see the Litwick all die off, huh?

“Hide!” he hissed to the litwick. They did. The Void Shadow came barging in through the doorway, but it hit the top of the doorframe. The wall collapsed in on it, covering it in flame. It screeched.

Riolu quickly picked himself up and sprinted for the house’s back door.

“Go!” he yelled, and the litwick zoomed out of hiding.

Riolu: "Alright, one block down. How many more of these were there again?"

- Cue Riolu looking out over an entire burning town between him and the Ancient Barrow -
Riolu: "Aw crap."

The buildings beyond their location had all been half-destroyed by the fire. Riolu crept through the alleyways, keeping clear of the flames that licked out into the street and keeping his eyes peeled for Shadows. There didn’t seem to be any here.

“This has to be the south side of town,” Riolu said. They had maneuvered through the village for about a minute, and seen neither hide nor hair of another Void Shadow.

Narrator: "They technically don't have hide or hair, so that's not exactly an accomplish-"
Riolu: "Shut up! You know what I meant by that! It's an idiom!"

“We’re just a few buildings away, one of the litwick said. Riolu nodded, and crept up to the burning building ahead of him. He could see the main path just head. It was empty, but something wasn’t right—

—The structure next to him was suddenly bowled over. Riolu barely jumped clear of the wreckage. He stuck the landing, but a Void Shadow swatted him to the ground just a few seconds later. It let out something between a screech and an angry roar. The landing hurt, but Riolu picked himself up and began to run for it.

... Yeah, now that the narration mentions it, all of this was a bit easy. And Nyarlathotep needs to be there to follow Riolu into the Ancient Barrow, so...

He made his way onto the main path, but then realized the litwick weren’t with him he looked back.

“Hey!” he called out to them. “Over here!”

The Shadow took notice. It glanced at him and snarled, but it was suddenly buffeted over the head with the attacks of the three litwick. They soared back onto the main path to join Riolu, and all four began to run south again.

... I didn't realize there were only three survivors out of the entire group of Litwick from last chapter. Somehow I had imagined there being more in that one bit of the prior scene.

“I can see it!” one of the litwick exclaimed as they ran. He pointed to the massive tree in the near distance, illuminated by the fierceness of the fire that it was engulfed in. Even though the fires licked over its roots that snaked over the main path, they didn’t burn. Was it immune?

For just a second, Riolu stopped in horror. The bridge was on fire too—that was the only way across! He had to get there before it collapsed. Fear overcame Riolu. He began to take off at high speeds, running towards the bridge as fast as he could. He forgot about the litwick, which he had left behind.

RIOLU, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? HAVE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT LEARNED ANYTHING IN THE LAST MONTH?

Riolu closed his eyes, letting his nose and his feelers do the seeing for him. He was almost there, so close—

Riolu tripped over a rock and hit the ground hard. He groaned, and tried to lift himself up. Over where the island was—he was halfway there—the last of the burning bridge crumbled away into the water below. Riolu looked back at the litwick, then at the house. He could swim across. Freedom was so close…

Riolu looked back at the litwick. They’d catch up. Even now, they were floating right towards him. They’d be fine. He just had to get there himself—

RIOLU. STOP.

The Void Shadow charged back onto the path, and it was livid. It smelled the litwick, and it heard them. It began to gallop in their direction, and only Riolu could see it. And that was when he made his decision.

Riolu leapt up, running back towards the litwick. He wasn’t letting this happen again, no matter the cost—

Oh thank goodness, he finally at least tries to do something different this time. I swear, I was about to burst a blood vessel there.

Even though I'm pretty sure this is still going to end terribly for the Litwick.

With that thought, he felt something begin to collect in his paws; a foreign energy. It surged, illuminating his chest with bright blue light, and just before Riolu collided with the Shadow his paws met its chest. The attack sent them both flying backwards from each other. The litwick soared clear of the explosion.

Riolu pulled himself to his feet once more. He was dizzy. He could feel the energy leaving his paws, and smell the burning all around him, and see the brilliant orange flames and his ears were ringing from the blast. He was suddenly punted to the ground.

The Void Shadow picked him up, swung him around in the air, and then pounded him into the ground again. It swatted him into a house, and then slammed into the frame and pinned him to the ground a third time. It leaned in over him menacingly, but Riolu finally caught his bearings enough to fight back. He clasped his paws together again, and managed to produce enough energy to repel the Shadow from his body.

Riolu crawled along the ground, coughing, but he felt the Shadow’s gooey claws wrap around his legs again and drag him back violently. It flipped him over, and then pinned his arms to the ground.

Well that attempt at heroism is certainly turning out well at this rate. ^^;

The Shadow didn’t waste time. Its face split open into jaws and teeth, and they converged around Riolu—

A trio of embers suddenly batted the Shadow’s head off of Riolu. Riolu looked where they came from, and he saw the Litwick swooping in from above! The next wave of embers hit a nearby structure, which collapsed on the void shadow. Riolu took the opportunity—he began to crawl away from the Shadow and got up to his feet. The Void Shadow was still struggling under the flaming wooden beam. Riolu struggled onto the path, but then he looked back at the litwick.

“Go!” one of them shouted at him. “We’ll catch up!”

Narrator: "They won't catch up."

Oh, so this how they all go out, huh? Well at least it was a noble end, even though I can already tell that this is going to be hard to read.

Riolu didn’t even think; he accepted it without question. He turned and ran. He ran, and he didn’t look back. When he reached the water, he jumped into it without thinking and paddled his way across. He clawed his way onto the mud of the island, shaking himself off and pulling himself to his feet. He ached all over, but he was so close and he wasn’t stopping now.

Finally, he reached the hovel of the tree. Riolu looked back at the burning village in the distance behind him. He couldn’t see the litwick. Riolu scanned the sky, but he didn’t see them there either. Had they been killed?

Uh... given that you left them facing down a Void Shadow, that would be the implication, yes.

They’d catch up. They said they would. Riolu didn’t have it in him to wait any longer. He ducked in through the twisted roots, into an entrance that led to total and complete black. The darkness dissolved after him.

Up above, Reverse Mountain erupted once more, sending fiery chunks up into the sky. Down below, the village continued to burn in eerie, desolate silence.

The screeches of a legion of Void Shadows could be heard.

Honestly, part of me is unsure whether I prefer the ambiguous fate or not, even if I'm pretty sure the Litwick are just all dead. Like on one level, I feel that being more explicit would've been a better gut punch, but on another level, considering the state we saw him in earlier, I think there's decent odds that Riolu probably would've just shut down and waited to die if he explicitly knew that the Litwick all died off there. So... yeah.

Riolu stumbled into gooey black corridors full of messy swamp water. Behind him was more of the same. Where there had once been a door, there was now nothing but darkness and silence. Then it clicked for Riolu: Was this what a mystery dungeon was?

And if so… he looked up at the ground, realizing he couldn’t see the roof. Maybe this was the way out.

Wait a minute, so this entire time, he's been going upwards in a space that's infamous for being impossible for getting a reliable sense of direction on a hunch?

I... suddenly feel a lot more afraid for Espurr's well-being right now.

In front of him sat a staircase. It was smooth as marble, and shone with a ghostly glow in the darkness. Riolu headed for it, but stopped. He glanced back, looking for any sign or indication that the litwick had followed him there. Clarity was finally beginning to return to him, and he realized what had happened. They’d said to go ahead. They said they’d catch up. And now… there was only him. The silence spoke for itself. If they hadn’t come already, they probably never would.

... Oh.

Riolu wanted to go back, just to check. It felt… twisted to leave behind the pokemon who had helped him through this final stretch of the way, hopes high on a promise he’d made to them that he’d never be able to keep.

He tried to move himself back towards the entrance. His foot wouldn’t move. The primal will in him to forget about everything else and just escape was stronger than the will in him to go back and risk his life once again. Try as he might, he couldn’t will himself to go back into the hellscape. He couldn’t. With a shaky breath, he succumbed and turned his sights back onto the staircase. He couldn’t.

It was time to escape this awful place once and for all.

And there goes the last lingering shred of respect that I had for Riolu. Didn't even attempt to leave behind some sort of marker for the Litwick to follow if they somehow survived, huh?

“So you abandoned them.”

The dungeon was quiet as Espurr and Riolu walked through its hallways. It seemed that Nyarlathotep hadn’t figured out where they were yet.

“I… I…” Riolu tried in vain to come up with some kind of excuse. Eventually, he slumped over as he walked, letting his shoulders fall forward. “Yeah. I was… scared.”

“I’m also scared.”

I kinda have to wonder what the prerequisites are to be a human savior in this world, since... uh... yeah, Riolu's kinda terrible at his job from everything we've seen of him.

Espurr: "You call yourself a 'savior'?! For crying out loud, you didn't even leave a sign for the Litwick to find if they somehow survived!" 😠
Riolu: "I-I was panicking and not thinking clearly, okay?!" O_O;

It sounded so clinical, so matter-of-fact. She needed that. She couldn’t let herself break down now.

As they walked, Espurr noticed that Riolu’s body was getting less and less real-looking. Soon she could see the wall through him. She was about to say something, but Riolu suddenly broke out into a run. Espurr saw why: There was light ahead! This was the exit to the dungeon! Espurr’s heart leapt, and she ran after him through the muck. How she wanted to escape from this place so badly! And yet…

This kid's just going to vanish into thin air the moment he crosses out into the normal world, isn't he? That's certainly going to be different from how PSMD handled the Voidlands if so.

The entrance was up ahead; a single doorway illuminated by morning daylight. All around them was the inside of an old and battered house, covered in black goo.

Riolu approached the doorway without hesitation. And the more of the light that spilled out onto him, the more of his body disappeared. He reached a paw out towards the door, watching it vanish completely. His legs had disappeared, and she could only see his head and half his ghostly torso.

“Come with me.” Riolu looked back towards Espurr, holding a translucent paw out. “We can leave together.”

Espurr: "Riolu, are you even looking at yourself right now?!" O_O;
Riolu: "Yeah, and I look fine. Why?"
Espurr: "No, you really don't!" O.O

“I told you I can’t.” Espurr stayed where she was, folding her arms. “I’m sorry.”

Riolu looked at the door, then at Espurr, like the notion was crazy.

“But why not?” he asked. “You could leave, you could go back to the real world!”

“I can’t go back without my friends,” Espurr said. “They’re down there, I know they still are. I got them in, it’s my responsibility to get them out.”

That moment when a cat with a creepy emotionless stare proves that she's infinitely more worthy to claim the title of Human Savior in 26 words.

She left it there, turning around and beginning to trudge back into the dark hallways beyond.

“I hope you make it through,” she said to him, stopping for a brief moment to look back. “Maybe we’ll see each other again after.”

Then she began walking again.

Riolu looked at the door. Then at Espurr, trudging further and further away. He groaned to himself. It should have been a no-brainer! The door was right there. He was inches away from freedom, inches away from rescue! So… why did the idea of walking out leave him with a pit in his stomach?

Because you're feeling guilty about how abandoning others in their time of need for your own desires is basically all you've been doing for the past 2 chapters and it's gotten pretty much everyone you've come into contact killed in horrific fashion? ^^;

Espurr: "Also, I'm pretty sure that you're just going to blip out of existence if you go out there like this, Riolu. So choose carefully."

If that Espurr wanted to go waste her life trudging back into the monster’s den, then why was it his problem? Why did he have to go after her, when he’d already suffered so much just to get here? Why couldn’t he just… leave?

Boy this guy's really pulling out all the stops to murder his sympathy on the way out. I mean, I suppose I have to give him some slack since he's been through the world's most traumatic month, but all of this just smacks of selfish cowardice right about now.

Maybe it was because he made it this far at the expense of everymon else. And now, faced with the same chance of getting out, of finally leaving, she was doing what he couldn’t.

And something told him that when he left, he’d be dreaming of all the others who hadn’t made it with him. If he left, and she didn’t follow soon after… did he want to add another to the pile?

He sighed, his shoulders and tail slumping. This was going to get him killed.

... Wait a minute, Riolu actually turned back for once? I... honestly was not seeing that one coming.

“Hey!” he yelled, turning around a few seconds later and dashing back through the halls. He kicked up splashes in the water as he ran. “Wait for me! Wait for me.”

Finally, he caught up with Espurr, slowing down and trying not trip forward from the water’s added weight. Espurr looked back at him, her eyes arching in confusion.

“Weren’t you leaving?” she said.

“I changed my mind,” Riolu responded, gasping for breath. “I’m gonna help.”

On one level, this is really cute and uplifting. On the other level I saw what was happening to Riolu as he was approaching the door, and that's going to be such a knife twist once the dust settles after this. :<

Riolu: "Also, you were kinda worrying me with that blipping from existence thing you were going on about, so I figured I should play things a bit safe." ^^;
Espurr: "... Of course." -_-;

“Great.” Espurr began to move forward again, walking with purpose into the hall and then speeding up. “I think I saw another hall back this way!” she called back to him. “That’s a good place to start.”

Riolu cast one last glance back at the dungeon exit. It called to him, promising freedom and safety behind its doors. He could see light that wasn’t red, the prospect of a day that was beautiful rather than harrowing. He hoped this Espurr knew what she was doing.

And with that thought, he forced himself to look away, took off after her before he lost sight. They weren’t out of the dungeon yet.

That's at once touching, especially with Riolu opting to go back and look out for someone else for a change, while I'm not convinced at all that this story isn't just going to make me feel like crying with regard to Riolu in like a chapter or two. Since I saw what you were doing there with him, and it makes me extremely skeptical that he'll get a happy ending after this arc is over with.

Alright, time for the postmortem:

I mean, I liked it, obviously. I can see what you meant about this chapter being meant to be consumed as a two-parter. I can also see what you meant about Riolu being intended to be a personality that causes problems, since his almost pathological refusal not to keep others in mind in his decision-making causes a lot of problems over the course of this and the prior chapter, and I honestly was getting a bit frustrated with him at the end. Like he's an understandable character, especially given his circumstances, but boy do those traits not reflect well on him. We'll see how him finally opting to look out for someone else without constantly wavering about it plays out, though I can already tell that this kid is either going to make me hate his guts or else tear up about him when it comes time for him to exit stage left, with very little gray area in between. Originally I thought he was on track to do that right here in this chapter and enter column A, but we'll see how that shakes out for him in a chapter or two, I guess.

As for stuff I didn't like... I mean, I'm sure there were a couple parts where I thought there could've been more description, but I was honestly was having too much fun to really notice too many mechanical warts this time around. I suppose something about the bit where Bryony and the woodcutters get killed off felt a little anticlimactic to me, but I'm not sure what I'd concretely change. Perhaps to drag the sequence out a little more in order to knife twist things a bit harder? Hard to say, though something about it felt really sudden, and I'm not sure whether or not I liked it.

But all-in-all, it was a great chapter @SparklingEspeon , and I'm really glad that I broke from my initially planned readings tonight to finish off the two-parter. I see that you're doing your best to keep me motivated to come back to this story in the future, since considering how your chapters are supposed to have only gotten stronger as your story's run went on, this current one's a really good omen for what lies ahead.