Pokémon Different Eyes

[Hap]

Wow can't believe I made an account here specifically for the purpose of making this one (1) post. The things I do in the name of Play Game and also friendship.

Ch1

I have mixed feelings about the opening. On the one hand I feel like it does a decent job of expressing Salem's disorientation and is generally entertainingly horrifying, but on the other hand it's never going to not be funny to me that she is breathing perfectly well right up until the moment when she decides to stop doing that and all the stress and tension following that stems entirely from something completely unnecessary which she did to herself. Like, I guess it does okay at communicating that she's struggling to hold onto more than one thought at a time which is why she keeps forgetting she's in the tank, but no matter the justification I can't help but find it goofy.

The sudden change of tone between the opening section and Dusk's narration is fun, and the second section as a whole is absolutely fantastic for how much it communicates about Dusk as a character in a very short time; I especially love the contrast in how she sees herself and what she communicates to the doctor. It's some excellent character writing!

"I see… strange creature, tall like humans, hands like humans, but not human. Blood-feathers at the ear and tail like sneasel, white-fur like tundra sneasel, but not sneasel. Some-thing differ-ent. Some-thing new.”

...that said, this type of broken English is going to get grating fast. I mean, I like it in this chapter for the contrast it makes in how Dusk and Alisha talk, but I am not looking forwards to whole conversations between two characters both talking like this. I know I've already read most of the later chapters but I forget a lot of the details, so I'm going to sit here and hope that either Salem and Dusk do most of their communication in sign or that their speech improves very rapidly.

There must have been at least a hundred in total.

The description of the tanks as a whole is a very cool image but I'm quoting this line specifically because the idea of a hundred tanks raises interesting questions about scale and cost in a way which feels almost sinister. How big is Perihelion? How many pokemon have they morphed? How many are they intending to morph? Is this their only facility or does the scale expand even beyond what we've seen here?? Am I reading too much into this one throwaway line???

Dusk looking at Salem in the tank is some more nice imagery - classic mirror scene, hey! - but what I think has never hit me before while reading it is how deeply lonely this scene is. Dusk's so desperate for companionship that she starts making up a little fanfiction for herself about how she and this complete stranger she knows nothing about are going to be buddies and maybe this stranger will be finally be someone who understands her on some deeper level. The sense of loneliness here is only compounded by the way that multiple times she attempts to mentally backpedal ("Did it even matter? She’d get by no matter what."; "This was about wanting allies, naturally.") only to immediately continue imagining a friendship between herself and Salem.

She understood none of it. She closed her eyes and continued to wait out this incomprehensible ordeal.

Both the tank sequences are some nice casual horror, but I think this second one is a lot stronger! Everything the first sequence did well this one does a lot better. It does an excellent job of showing how she's fading in and out of consciousness without much of a sense of continuity to her experience, and Salem's drugged-numb acceptance of whatever's happening to her both feels like a realistic state for her to be in assuming she has to be conscious at all and also adds to the nightmarish (literally nightmarish: the way it's described reminds me a lot of those sleep-paralysis experiences I've had where I've been having a completely normal dream but also simultaneously been completely aware of my own physical body lying in bed unable to move) quality of the situation. And, again, I just find Salem's panicked struggle for air in the first section to be kind of hilarious and can't take it seriously.

Days? Moons? Seasons?

...okay please understand I promised myself I wasn't going to complain about things just because I personally don't like them and I sincerely did intend to keep to that but I can't contain myself here. Using "moons" as a measure of time makes perfect sense for Dusk as a wild pokemon, but Salem was a housepet raised around humans (and so much of her character is defined around wanting to be more human), and so I really genuinely think it would be more interesting here as a character detail to have Salem use "months" as a contrast to Dusk rather than the pair of them measuring time in the exact same way despite their incredibly different life experiences. Okay, that's it, I'm done, I'm done, I promise I will never bring this up again.

I love the contrast between the absolute euphoria Salem feels at experiencing her new body with the subtle but persistent dysphoria Dusk was expressing earlier in the chapter, that's fun.

Ch2

I'm really enjoying Dusk's sections so far. There's so much character packed into them!

Now that I'm reading this all at once instead of as like, individual updates with long periods of time between them, going straight from Salem's semiconscious euphoria in the previous chapter to the sense of disorientation and panic in this one as she's finally forced to fully inhabit her new body is really good and effective!

I don't have much to say about this chapter in comparison to the first, it's just kinda quality all the way through. In terms of pacing I think you do a great job balancing Salem's progress so that it feels slow and incremental and there's a real sense of time passing, without ever reaching the point where it gets frustrating for the reader.

It's also nice to see this time get devoted to showing who Salem is as a character, considering that we didn't really get to see any of that in the previous chapter. I think both her determination to learn everything as fast as she can and the clear sense of joy she gets in every one of her achievements do a lot to make her endearing, which is a lot of what makes the training montage of this chapter entertaining to read.

“Salem, huh? Nice to meet you, Salem. I’m Dusk.”

And now they've met! I like how both chapter endings so far have signified a shift in what the story's been up until this point, that's a cool technique.

Ch3

Ah, I'm delighted to see that Salem and Dusk are both speaking more fluently in this chapter! Ignore my earlier comment, then; the broken English certainly did not outstay its welcome. The off-screen improvement in Dusk's language since the first chapter also helps to contextualise the situation she was in when we first met her. No wonder she was so desperate for someone who understood her, when Perihelion keeps morphs isolated until past a certain point in their development.

To pull back a bit, I like Salem's initial anxiety at facing a room full of morphs in comparison with how willing she was in the previous chapter to pester humans until they did what she wanted, and in contrast to Dusk's desire for a peer from chapter one. That difference feels like it says a lot about their different experiences as a housepet vs as a wild pokemon, and what sort of relationships each is used to having. Laura was definitely the dominant presence in Salem's life, and I doubt she ever had the opportunity to form any kind of a consistent relationship with other pokemon. Frustrated though she may be when it comes to actual clear communication, she certainly doesn't hesitate to make her demands known.

Absol Whiskey

Aaah god Taylor referring to Whiskey in this way skeeves me out. I'm not really sure why I have such a reaction to it; uhh the best I can articulate it is kind of, it's one thing to see this convention in your PMD fics when it makes sense as just like, how politeness/formality work in that setting, but here it's being used for the first time by a human to refer to a pokemorph in a story where the nature of personhood (and the distinction between "person" and "human") is a major theme, and in that context it comes off as a form of subtle Othering. I don't know if this is what you were intending, but my kneejerk emotional response is that I find it condescending and a little creepy.

The conversation continued comfortably with Dusk doing most of the talking and Salem making remarks to keep the sneasel's momentum up. There was much to learn – about Perihelion, but also about Dusk. For instance, her feather vibrated excitedly whenever Salem learnt a new word from her. Salem liked that.

The common room scene feels like a lot of new information being dropped without much reason why I should care about any of it, but I like the canteen scene a lot! It does a good job of showing how Salem and Dusk clearly enjoy each other's company and find an easy rapport. It's fun and it's cute and it sets things up for an excellent shift when Veracity shows up and the tone completely changes lmao.

Man I love Veracity though. Even in just a few short exchanges she still manages to be so fucken awful! She sucks so much in the best and most entertaining of ways! And yet it's still clear that she's trying to express a specific philosophy and that she has a point she's trying to make. <3 <3 <3 worst birb, lov her

(I also like the intermorph dynamics implied by both Dusk and Veracity about attitudes towards wild vs trained vs pet pokemon! I look forwards to seeing how those play out in future chapters.)

(Further fun facts I kept mistyping Veracity as "Verity" while writing these paragraphs. I don't know why I still do this!!)

Will you find fault in her, or will you admit to your own weakness?

And it's fun to see this line come back as a trigger for Salem's conflicted feelings about Laura!

It's been very clear up until this point that Salem cared for Laura deeply given how often she thinks of her, and I like this conversation both as her attempt to work through those complicated emotions and that sense of loss, and also as a response to what Veracity said to her earlier in the chapter.

"She was the only important person who is not me, for my whole life until now."
"Until now?"
"Yes. But she is still important, and always will be important."

And I think it's important that this conversation's happening at a point when for the first time Salem's life does not wholly revolve around this one specific person.

No morphs here can meet anyone outside, you know. Not even sending messages; it's not allowed.

And then of course there are the continuing sinister undertones of whatever the fuck is going on with Perihelion.

Ch4

Before she was a person, Salem was a cat.

It's my favourite opening line, back again! I really do love this line so much; between the simplicity of how it's said and the complexity of what it's saying, it's one of those perfect examples of what I love about speculative fiction as a genre.

I love both the sweetness and affection of Salem's relationship with Laura -

She would pace through the house in endless loops, groom herself and groom herself again just to have something to do, and scratch the furniture over and over and over until her claws hurt.

- and also how that sweetness is contrasted by the mundane, everyday horror of an intelligent animal which desperately needs more attention and stimulation than it's receiving, only for its needs to go unrecognised by the people who are supposed to care for it. It's clear Laura's trying her best, but it also works excellently to set the stage for just how awful Salem's life will become once Laura's gone.

At least every other episode, he was shown wearing clothes, working a job, or using tools. Salem thought he was practically human.

There was something desperately appealing about it, all the same. Mewtwo made his own decisions, could communicate with humans with ease, and had a life of his own. He was more than a pokémon. Almost human.

And with reference to the opening line, I really enjoy the degree to which the idea of crossing over the boundary between "pokemon" and "human" is incorporated into the media Salem watches. I think it's a nice way to explain how it's something she could believe to be possible, or even think to want.

I also like the references to the in-game events during Laura's conversation with her parents; it's neat that you're using this chapter not just as a way to tell Salem's backstory but also to drop worldbuilding details and add texture to the world outside of Perihelion.

This was a traditional method of Laura's to avoid having to go to the kitchen, and so avoid walking past her parents

You do a lot to characterise Laura and show the struggles she's experiencing in this chapter! The argument with her parents did a lot of heavy lifting, of course, but quotes like this show that the problems in the relationship are deep-rooted and ongoing, rather than just an ordinary disagreement between a teenager and her parents over how her life should go. And I think it's very telling that following the argument Laura turns first to her pet cat and then to media to make herself feel better, rather than phoning a friend to vent; it really starts to feel like she doesn't have many close friends, that Salem is as important a presence in her life as she is in Salem's.

Yet, she kept asking to be left alone. She spent most of her free time at home buried in her computer, and her books – books which did not get read out loud to Salem.

...but that said, it's also deeply affecting to see how their respective positions as owner and pet make it impossible for Laura's life to revolve entirely around Salem the way Salem's life revolves around her (and, indeed, it's this fundamental imbalance in position which leads to the sundering of their relationship). Laura without Salem can manage, but Salem without Laura has literally nothing, and you really do a good job of building up the stress and despair of Salem's post-Laura neglected existence.

And again I think this is why the lines I quoted at the end of last chapter matter so much! In terms of pacing I really like this chapter about how much Laura meant to Salem coming directly after the one where she's expressed that she has other important people now, as an effective way to show how much her situation has changed.

okay done pls to gib strange seed!! I am incredibly reward-motivated.

 

[Seren]

OKAY hey hi, I've been meaning to get on this for months, so here I am with the first chapter prologue! Determined to get through at least two for my HA training tonight, and hopefully the rest of what's posted during the week (although, I know I don't have a glorious track record when it comes to timelines).

Going into this, I'm honestly not sure what to expect. I think this is where Laura comes from, but admittedly would not feel confident enough to bet on that. Regardless, though, I've been a huge fan on your settings and writing and all that in HA so far, and I do expect I'll enjoy this no matter who it ends up being about. I apologize in advance if things fly over my head, though; I think you know me enough by now to know that sometimes happens.

Alrighty, normally I like to review as I go (so I'll probably poke and question and speculate on things that are revealed later). In this case though, truth be told, I read this chapter a little while ago, whenever I left the eyes emote on it, but I never got around to actually reviewing it at that time. So I've gone back to re-read it now and added thoughts to specific lines and scenes, which I'll drop in spoilers to keep the page from becoming even longer.

Spoiler: Line quotes

.

The first pokémon-human hybrid was floating in a tank full of life-nourishing fluids, silent and still. Its skin was a muted violet, almost white. Its bulbous, purple tail was easily as long as the creature was tall.

Right off the bat, this is not starting where I expected it to! Admittedly, I didn't have a ton of expectations about this to begin with, but I would not have guessed Mewtwo. I can see it, though; he does pretty strongly resemble a what a humanoid pokemon might look like.

The geneticist bent at the waist and waited for the crime-lord to speak.

He kept silent for a long moment as his financier adjusted his jacket and tie. He knew well that this was a powerful man — someone who could afford to keep others waiting, and would naturally take issue with impatience. It would be unwise to give offence by speaking first.

I enjoyed this scene a lot. You've got the characterization for both Giovanni and Dr. Fuji down very convincingly here. Giovanni noticably has this aura about him of a guy you don't want to piss off. I don't know a whole lot about Dr. Fuji's canon, but what you do with him here feels natural enough, and it creates a fun dynamic between the two of them. The tension in the air between them is palpable.

Also interesting to note that Giovanni is exlicitly said to be a false name here. I'm wondering now what his actual name is, and if that will come up and be relevant in the future.

"I am aware of this necessity," came the reply. "It is regarding this matter that I have come here. I intend to ensure that the clone you produce for me is not diminished, but enhanced, by the modifications made to its genes."

This gives me strong 'Jurassic Park' vibe, the need to fill in missing genetic material with existing similar compatible mon. Wondering how that will play a part in Mewtwo's eventual future.

So if I read this correctly... Giovanni claims to have read Fuji's report, yet immediately proved he did not by assuming the mew fossil was authentic rather than a subfossil... and then Fuji didn't bother to correct him. I assume that's the deception he refers to here. Yeah, that's definitely going to matter later.

Some of our western staff have taken to calling them 'metamon', 'omnimorph', and 'ditto' -"

Ditto! I love this. I'm pretty sure canonically, ditto and mew have no official relation, but I've always been a fan of the 'ditto are failed mew experiments' theory, so this was a fun little easter egg. Once again I find myself wondering if they'll be more important in the future, but this one I'm willing to say might just possibly be for fun.

"Thank you, sir. It only gives me more reason to complete my work to the best of my ability. As such, I have since begun living in this facility full time."

Oh dear. So he lost his daughter, and clearly has devoted way too much time into... either reviving her, cloning her, whatever. Somehow bringing her back. And it's now cost him his wife, too. Poor guy.

"As it happens, I've received a most interesting proposition from one of your colleagues. Dr. Katsura, I recall? Interesting man. He proposes splicing the sample with human DNA. Are you at all familiar with this idea?"

Ah, so the opening scene was like a preview, and this is happening prior to that. Interesting!

Giovanni's smile showed teeth. "And what did you say to your colleague when he explained it to you?"

Enjoyed this line in particular. Says a lot about Giovanni himself. He doesn't have to ask this, he could simply demand it to be done anyway, but he wants to show that he's in control here by showing he knows full well what he's asking Fuji to do is illegal and immoral and expects it done anyway.

He thought of Ai, and the impossibility of completing her revival without Giovanni's patronage. He thought of the savings he had emptied, the favours he had called in. He had even failed to attend the funeral. He'd been so focused on preserving the precious genetic memories held within those cells. His daughter's soul.

This is sad. The poor man really has no choice, even without Giovanni breathing down his neck. He's already given up pretty much everything to get his daughter back ages ago.

In addition to being a great scientific mind, Auguste Katsura served as Cinnabar's gym leader and Kantō's fire type specialist.

Oh.

"He's got his filthy hands in high level organised crime, the government of half the prefectures in the country, private businesses, the tech industry, you name it. Even the League. Did you know he's posing as gym leader in Hakone?"

Oh, so Fuji doesn't already know what Giovanni is yet. Huh. Just bad vibes alone until this point. I assume Hakone is some translation of Viridian?

Katsura put his glasses back on, and grinned ferociously. "Not if we use a different sample."

Oooh, sneaky. Not like Giovanni would ever actually be able to tell the difference on his own, I guess. This whole scene is interesting, though. They're intending to actually raise mewtwo like they would a human child (even saying alongside Ai, as though they already have the means/know-how to revive her, too). I'm not sure I'm fully on board with Katsura's play here, but I also can't say I fully understand it (science and logistics behind it and all that).

The creature had three digits on each paw, front and back. Its eyes stayed firmly closed. The proportions almost resembled those of a human child of six or seven years.

Baby Mewtwo! Honestly, all things considered, this would not have been my first choice if I were Giovanni asking for an 'intimidating physical form'. But I know obviously that's not something you had any control over, hah.

What pokémon wouldn't want to be human? That's what Katsura had said.

I'm glad Fuji expresses doubt at this, because I certainly had been thinking it, too.

I also do wonder if we'll be getting more about Fuji's encounter with Mew. For example, if Giovanni is aware he actually met a live Mew. (I'm thinking not, as it stands right now, because nevermind the fossil if that were the case.)

Overall, this is very much not a beginning I was expecting! I'm... more confident now that this is where Laura is from, given what I know of her missing cat... but I have no idea how that ties in. Something to do with perfecting the process, probably, but now I'm curious as to how that's all going to play out with what I know of canon Mewtwo's events... assuming they play out here the way they do in canon, though. Who knows!

Looking to get to the following chapter pretty soon here, so I'll hopefully be back shortly.

 

[Seren]

Actual first chapter time!

Spoiler: Line quotes

.

Salem was dying. Surely, this was how it felt to die.

That's one hell of an opening line.

I'm pretty sure Salem was Laura's cat, so that all but confirms to me where this is going.

She kept forgetting she was in the tank.

Interesting. So this was after she's been captured, already. Wonder if this is another preview, or if we're just going to begin here.

Anyway, this whole scene is fascinating. I've always kind of wondered what it felt like, being submerged like that. How does water not get inside everywhere? How does it feel, not being able to move, yet still somehow being able to breathe? I can't honestly blame Salem for being terrified here. And this last line... I don't know if it really implies a time frame, but she's definitely aware of where she is. Once she remembers, of course. But once she does, it isn't a shock, it's an 'oh, right'.

Unfamiliar energy surged through her body, neither shadowy nor chill. Her muscles relaxed, her body seemed to weigh less—this could be it; the technique called ‘agility!’

Alright, I'm pretty sure Salem was a purrloin. I recall Dusk's name, but I can't remember the species. 'Shadowy nor chill' would imply... ice and either ghost or dark? Assuming she's a 'mon. Or a hybrid. She talks in this scene, so... perhaps she's a hybrid. The one line mentions 'in the human's direction' as though she isn't one... but she speaks and nothing to this point references animal parts, just... arms and legs. And pokemon techniques. I'm probably not going to guess this one before it's given to me.

sneasel

Should have guessed. It's cat-like enough. (White fur, I think I saw mentioned in one of her mirror reflections, which would imply Hisuian sneasel? But then, that's not very shadowy or chilly of her. And yet she still sees herself very much looking like a sneasel in human clothing.)

“Didn’t choose to have the Shift to feel good about my-self,” snapped Dusk.

Definitely a hybrid. She seems to be being tested for her speed here, like some sort of doctor checkup. Possibly still in a lab, then? I assume 'the Shift' is referring to the process that creates hybrids, then.

but she had a knack for putting morphs at ease. Even Dusk felt it. It was something about her eyes, maybe; Alisha didn’t stare the way most humans did.

Okay, so she's some important figure here at the facility, and someone the morphs are shown to be comfortable around. I do appreciate how she communicates with both speech and sign. Related, I enjoy how Dusk verbalizes things. There's very much a hint of 'English is not my first language' in there while also still being very fluent (despite whatever translated language they're speaking in universe; I'm just assuming English/Galarian because nothing else has been explicitly stated yet, unless the prologue's meant to imply Kanto/Japanese).

as if it were a routine destination and not somewhere sacred where living things were fundamentally altered, body and mind

This is a fun, stark contrast to the established atmosphere so far; Alisha is meant to be shown as a kindhearted personality, and yet she's still an important piece of this. I'm not sure what Dusk is feeling here, but the use of 'sacred' implies that she definitely has thoughts. But then again, she herself has been altered, and it sounded like it was by choice based on what she said in the previous scene (something about not going through with the Shift to feel good about herself), so it's not as though she's against the idea, either...

In another slept a noibat with their wings wrapped tightly around their body, their tiny clawed digits at the wrists and wingtips already shifting.

I am going to assume this is not Malachai, because if so, you did an excellent job of keeping his nature a secret during AQ. (Honestly I'm pretty sure he was a normal Noivern, not a morph.)

So this is very much meant to be set long after the prologue then, given that morphs are very much a real thing now, whereas previously they were only hypothetical. There's so much to want to think about here, but I know we're only just getting started.

Would it be it best to introduce herself in Galarish, or in pokésign?

That answers that previous question, re: language.

They hung her, held her in this half-dream, half-death. She pawed weakly at a cable and felt it tug inside her. She would never have the strength to remove it.

Ugh, well that's... unsettling. Pls don't remove the death tube.

I am vaguely aware that Laura believe Salem to have been stolen. Dusk, meanwhile, appears to have chosen to become a morph. I wonder what's going through Salem's mind here? It sounds as though she knows what's happening to her, knows she's being transformed, but it's unclear whether it's willing or not. (I am uncertain if the line about removing the tube implies a vague thought of resistance or not, because the line immediately afterwards seems to imply she wants to be transformed, if she thinks it's those tubes that are doing the transforming...?). If not, she's definitely resigned herself to her fate at this point. Just how did she get here?

I should probably stop trying to apply meta knowledge and let the scene play out.

More overwhelming still was the ability to think about both how she felt about something, and why she felt that way. The difference between remembering and understanding… She likened it to the difference between drinking water, and actually tasting it. For the first time, she could taste her thoughts. For the first time, she could ask herself…

‘Why didn’t I wait for Laura? What if she came back and found me gone? Will I ever see her again?’

This is a scene I don't think I'd ever have the capacity to handle; a living being evolving, learning what it feels like to be sentient, and how that differs from how the remember being prior. Yikes. Kudos to you for finding words for this, and for describing it in such an easy to understand manner!

Also of note here: A bit more evidence that Salem went through this willingly. She could have waited for Laura, or so she believes, which means... what, exactly? Was she not kidnapped? Is that just what Laura's assuming happened, because Salem up and left on her own without saying anything? (I guess not that she could have said anything... or, well, how else would a non-verbal creature leave a clue as to where they're going and why, actually. Hm.)

Laura lied to me why would she do that

Noting this thought in particular for (hopefully) future reference, because

She knew what crying was, of course. Laura had sometimes sobbed into Salem’s flank after difficult days, but Salem had never understood it. She understood it now, her chest heaving and her arms closing around her body as tears welled up in her eyes and dissipated instantly into the hazy green liquid of the morphing tank. Her sobs were silent, but each one hit her bruised frame like a tackle. She let them happen, some part of her relishing the new and entirely human experience even amid the pain.

For some reason, this felt sad. Poor cat's nothing but an unfamilair ball of fur and hurt, and at the same time overjoyed about all of the new sensations she's exeriencing and/or will get to experience, and yet still in pain from the process. There's a lot of glorious detail in this large section that I don't really have lot to comment on individually, but this part in particular hit hard.

Alright, that's chapter 1! A lot of setup, but honestly, as expected, you're particularly adept at details which keeps everything interesting, and making me as a reader focus on one thing or another. Lots of very good description and narration. Nothing sticking out to me as 'hey what's this' or grammar curiosities or any other errors of note. It does feel a bit slow to me so far, but I think it's worth it to get such valuable insight into the minds of the morphs, particularly Salem as she's going throug the process, even if she doesn't fully understand it herself. (Also worth considering this is chapter 1, so there's always going to be some implicit slowness as things get set up. I do tend to prefer a bit of action to help get invested, but I'm well aware that's a personal preference and absoutely does not suit the kind of lead-in this opening needs.)

Here's hoping chapter 2 will not take me -checks calendar- six months to come back to. I have a lot of questions and very few answers!

 

[Seren]

Greetings! Back for chapter 2, and this time it didn't take me six month! Only... checks two and a half! Record time for me.

Anyway, time to get sunk in!

Spoiler: Chapter 2!

.

Chapter 2

First Words

First off, I love the art, it's adorable! I... thiiiiink this is Salem? But the scene opening with Dusk, plus the happy expression, kind of throw me off. It does look closer to an orange purrloin rather than a sneasel though, so I'm fairly confident this is Salem. Kind of also makes sense with the chapter title for her to be the one getting the art for it.

“Al-i-sha. Hello.”

Still loving how the morphs communicate, if I didn't mention that already.

Alisha kept speaking to her, but Salem lost her grip on the words. She wanted to feel nothing. Be nothing. She turned to curl into a ball—but couldn’t. Not quite. Was there something wrong? Her back wouldn’t curve all the way. She couldn’t pull her legs all the way up. Why? Was she broken?

This whole scene here with Salem waking up for (what I assume is) the first time outside her test tube does a grand job of expressing her feelings, the fear and panic, and all of the new sensations she's experiencing. Vision, in particular, with all the new colors and distance. This line here is where I felt it really showed progress despite the difficulty; at first, she could barely lift her arm! Now, she's already able to flop over and curl, even if it's only a fraction. She's moving! She's already taking steps, even as she sees it as failure, but the progress is there. Poor thing. Glad to see she does, rather quickly after this, realize she is capable of adapting.

She raised a weary arm and signed: [Thank you. Friends.]

This stood out to me in particular... how does she know how to sign? Was this something they taught her while mid-transition? Something she'd already learned from Laura? Dusk knows, obviously, but Dusk has been learning for a while now. Salem is fresh out of the tube. Especially given the emphasis narration puts on how foreign and difficult moving her limbs feels... so I don't think this is something she's been physically taught yet? (At least, I don't recall seeing this specifically?) Perhaps it's something the morphs just get coded into them during the transformation so they can communicate before learning how to speak? Hm.

Why was it so hard to make familiar signs? Somehow, she managed.

Okay, familiar signs. So there's some reason she knows them, and I guess how to perform them.

Maybe I'm thinking too hard on what's essentially a minor detail.

Brimming over with colours she’d never dreamed existed. Like red.

Unrelated, but this has always been somewhat fascinating concept. The idea that colors exist but you can't simply see them... everything already has a color! So watching Salem suddenly discover things that used to be orange suddenly were not is, highly amusing.

She struggled to relax, but she was still a cat, and persistent at achieving comfort.

Love this.

Making the little dot of light swim around the room provided considerable entertainment.

Also love this. I wonder how much of these cat-like traits will remain once her growing and learning process slows down.

“I’ve got a gift for you. It’s not from me, it’s from another morph. A friend of mine. They know you’re having a rough time in physical therapy and wanted you to have this.”

Ah, I also wondered where Dusk had been. She'd been quite eager to meet Salem, and now two weeks have gone by without mention of her. She must be frustrated, not being able to meet the new morph after so long. But at least the gifts are making their way!

All of these tiny little time skip scenes are very cute little snippets of her growth and progress, But it also means a lot of time is passing outside... wherever they're living. I wonder if we'll eventually see what Laura's been up to in this time or if we'll just skip ahead to 'present day' when the time comes.

Salem might not be able to see Laura here, and (she realised with a crushing feeling around her chest) she might never be able to again

A curious line, considering why Salem did this to begin with. Even more so considering how... okay with it the rest of the paragraph implies she is. Making the best of it is one thing, but this almost makes it feel... insignificant to her.

Salem moved her arms and hands and fingers, making the human-specific signs with the same confidence as the imprecise feline signs she’d used since before she could remember.

Feline signs. Hmm. Can she remember her life before the morph? That would mean she used signing as a normal purrloin. (I'm now wondering if I'm overthinking it and maybe it meant like... normal cat behavior, not literal hand/paw signs.)

“They… They keep telling me I’m do-ing well. Very well. Al-so, I need rest. But Al-ee-sha, I can rest and also meet morphs.”

I don't know why, but this was just very cute.

Also, I love the idea that they have names and sign names. Not sure why, but it's fun.

Humans had such powers of communication. Surely they didn’t have problems like hers.

“How was my thing?” she asked, eyes wide.

Adorable. Like a little child.
.

This was a highly entertaining little tour of Salem's early experience, and I kinda love that we as the reader get to go through it an experience it all with her right from the beginning. You do such a good job of showing her experiences through her eyes, her emotions, her feelings, almost as if the reader is right there alongside her. And it's kind of a wild ride of ups and downs! Salem reminds me somewhat of a particularly focused young child (despite the feeling of always wanting and needing something new). She's very determined to learn, and easily excitable when she succeeds (as she should be).

I said it already, but it's worth repeating: I loved the little time skips between scenes, showing how much progress she makes in such a small amount of time, and how frustrating it feels from her point of view that it doesn't seem like she's learning quick enough. That in itself captures the essence of learning a new thing pretty well, in my experience; it's hard to put in the time and effort to learn and practice a new thing (learning a musical instrument, for example), but you just have to sit down and do it, no matter how long it takes; there's no shortcuts. Combined, they give a strong sense of characterization to build off of going forwards.

There were a couple of things that had me 'hmm'-ing about (I know I got particularly hung up on the signing thing), but I suspect we'll get most of those answers in time. In particular I'm looking forward to meeting Laura and getting her perspective on things. It's obvious how important Laura is to Salem, especially during the 'picking a name' scene, although that one offhand mention of possibly never seeing her again felt somewhat contradictory to what I think the intended effect was. It does show that Salem is adapting to her new life, but that one line also kind of undermines her whole reason for doing this, I thought? (Or maybe I'm mis-remembering and looking foolish. I know Dusk chose this, and I know Salem was strongly implied to be kidnapped... but I also thought it was pretty clear that Salem chose to go through with the process, too.)

Finally, I'm eager to see her finally get to interact with some other morphs, now that she's gotten the hang of the basics. Another thing made pretty clear without saying it directly was how lonely she's been this whole time, despite Alisha and Taylor being people she enjoys talking to. I hope Dusk ends up being a good friend for her (and suspect she will, but we'll see).

I'm hoping to hit chapter 3 tomorrow!

 

[Seren]

Aaaaand now for chapter 3!

Spoiler: Chapter 3!

.

Chapter 3

First Impressions

Okay, so with the picture here I now can tell without a doubt which one is Salem and which one is Dusk, so you can stop laughing at me for that in the last review, lol.

So Dusk really is just white-furred. I'm pretty sure she's not a Hisui variant. Then again... purrloin aren't canonically orange, so I don't know why I got hung up on this for so long, either.

"Any bigger words than that?" asked Dusk, leaning her cheek against her clawed hand and maintaining her fanged smile.

"Encyclopedia," said Salem, without thinking.

Got a laugh out of me, too.

"Nice. So, you were trained?" asked the sneasel.

"Trained. No, I was not trained."

I appreciate the difference here between 'trained' and 'pet'. (At least, I'm pretty sure I recall Salem being called Laura's pet on the 'cord.) Whether or not Salem recognizes the difference is another story, but I suspect she does.

"You see the bird? Steel-type bird, looking angry? She is a corviknight. She is called 'Veracity'.

Damn. I had her pegged as a skarmory, considering how popular they are. Corviknight makes far more sense for Galar, though. I didn't guess heliolisk, either. The 'morph with leathery wings' could be anything (vaguely recall a noibat mention earlier?) so I didn't even try. I am officially zero-for-three.

The winged mammal was a noivern, called Nox.

So close.

This does, however, bring to mind evolution. Can morphs still evolve? Did Nox start as a noibat and evolve into a noivern, or did he just transition right into that stage? (Unrelated; this is at least two noivern in the fic, counting the one I know in the future. Good choice.)

A tall figure, made taller by a dark horn rising from one side of their head, passed through the doorway.

.....Absol...?
(Later me: Aw, yeah, got one!)

"Nah. I got this."

"Okay. I'm trusting you. Salem is your responsibility for now."

I'm really enjoying the bonding going on between them here. Dusk was shown earlier to be eager to meet new morphs, so it's kind of cute that she's already becoming kind of protective of Salem. (I do kind of wonder why the nameless eevee wasn't given the same treatment... although there's something profoundly amusing to me on a meta level that the eevee is the one not getting the spotlight for once. Sorry, poor nameless eevee morph.)

I admit I'm a bit surprised Salem didn't want to stick around and learn more here. In the sense that, I was expecting them to hang around, with Dusk maybe doing the tour afterwards. Sure, Dusk is ahead in the class, but Salem specifically wanted to hang around the new morphs, and she's already shown to be a dedicated student.

No staring. No eye contact. No threat.

Love how she's still kept some of those animal instincts here. I wonder if those will fade with time or if she'll always have some purrloin traits.

Pincushion tail meant skitty; skitty were predictable.

Oooh, another round of Guess The Morph! The skitty was revealed before I guessed, so that won't count. I would probably say poochyena for her companion? (Doesn't look like this one gets confirmed.) The bird had me thinking ho-oh, red and cream and green, but obviously not. I'd guessed talonflame.

the mightyena is Bramble

Dang it

Salem had the opportunity as a kitten to get into some illicit playground scuffles, and more recently she would sometimes bully the snom outside or scrap with feral cat pokémon, but real fights were something she saw on TV. Strange that she should finally fight battles of her own in this place, with no particular human to be her trainer and companion.

I'm guessing the bushy-tailed server was a greedent, since the previous one was a pachirisu. Squirrel, Galar, makes sense.

Now that that's out of the way...

Okay, so yeah, Salem was definitely a pet, then. I hadn't thought about the concept of morphs battling before, outside of Dusk trying to practice agility earlier, so this will be fun to see. Assuming we do.

"Shit, sorry, I got excited," she blurted.

Half expected Salem to pick up her first swear word here.

"Your companion gave you reason to dream of a future, then failed to provide that future."

Salem kept her gaze steady. There was a growing feeling of tightness in her jaw.

Hm. Salem and me, both. I'm not sure I like the train of thought this Veracity is conducting.

"I value truth, and strength. Your companion here is a liar, and she is weak. Be truthful, and be strong, and I will be pleased to breathe the same air as you."

Oh dear. Someone's full of themselves.

Dusk's attention lifted the weight of dread in Salem's stomach; the unnerving sense of pressure left her shoulders.

Oooh, clever!

That was... an experience. Dusk wasn't kidding, Veracity really does think of herself as the boss bird. That whole conversation felt rude. Condescending. Judgmental. I guarantee we haven't seen the last of her.

Becoming more human shouldn't mean giving up the splendid convenience of dropping from a height and saving the unbearable indignity of walking places when she could leap.

🫵 CAT.

That module, too, came away when tugged at, and underneath was the drain proper, with a small recess.

…It would make quite the hiding place for pilfered treasures.

She replaced the mechanism, her interference now invisible, and resolved to make no mention to anyone of the cavity beneath.

Why do I get the feeling that this is going to come up again later, and not in a good way?

I mean... obviously, it's a drain, hiding things in there is just asking for them to get flushed away with the water, no?

"Fuck," said Salem, with feeling.

Ahhh, there it is.

"So, Laura, she is your family?"

This whole scene was cute in a sad kind of way. It brings back the topic I'd questioned last review, and somewhat answered it. So the morphs can't leave the facility. I wonder if Salem knew that going in, and that's why she didn't expect to see Laura again? But then... I wonder what her point to going through the process was, in her mind?

It's also kind of odd that they don't even get to send out messages... although, I guess I could understand why, too.
.

This whole chapter was lovely, again, in a sad kind of way. Lots more setup as Salem makes a new friend, learns more things, meets a nasty bird who is going to be a huge pain in the ass later, I'd put money on it, and so on. She's got a whole new life now, and is definitely trying to make the best of it. But at the same time, she's still got the memories of her old one, and they're kind eating away at her. As she gains a new friend, she's still sad about losing her old one.

Overall, so far we've relied heavily on the characters to move the story along, all the way from the prologue up to now. And it's worked, you know how to make every character who's gotten more than a passing description in screentime feel like their own, unique individual. I'd argue Taylor was the one probably weakest in that category, but even then, he's the 'are you sure' guy in my head, so he's still got a niche among the cast. The absol teacher gave off a very strong sense of who he was in the short time we saw him. And way back in the prologue, Giovanni, Fuji, and Katsura felt real.

I'm looking forward to whatever scheme Dusk and Salem cook up! I imagine they'll be in a lot of trouble if they actually leave the facility, so could that be what they're actually planning? Or perhaps the note about messages was a clue? (Although, meta knowledge tells me Laura doesn't know where Salem is, so... probably not.)