These kids were not in fact stopped!
Those were an amazing last few chapters and a fantastic climax. It really felt like a domino moment of all the bits falling into place, both on a character level and a physical powers level. It's honestly awesome and well-executed, especially given the lower power and lower stakes vibe of this fic.
I loved the sort of pseudo non-chronological approach, interspersing the linear story plot with character-based flashbacks. It works super good to setup the conflicts and unpack the character drama without losing track of the main narrative. Each character chapter felt relevant to the story as a whole as well and played into that domino chain of effect. Tyranitar, Krissy's issues, Travis and Jason's dynamic.
I really enjoyed especially the flashbacks with Krissy because she's my fav (we stan some daddy issues girls who are tough and kinda ruthless). And the Whirl Islands chapter has got to be my other most fav. Not only does it give us a taste of a sense of danger and risk and legends but it also sets up how Derek, Hanna and Jen's journeys mirror the kids. They got into plenty of trouble and danger of their own, and that shaped their outlooks.
Speaking of that, I love how it comes together in the end, when they go to save Derek. Empowering the kids and encouraging them that they are capable, and at the end of the day toeing delicate yet extremely important line really well. "Never do anything and wrap kids in bubble wrap" is just as bad imo as "let (actual) kids fight criminal gangs". Kids need to get into a healthy amount of scraps and traipse wilderness a bit, touch grass and figure stuff out. I'm so glad they have family in their lives in the form of Jen and Hanna who remember this and want this for them.
Kids are also a TON more capable than the modern western civilization gives them credit for. Yes they need supervision and guidance and dont know half as much as some think they do, but they can do so much if given the chance. Repeating their rather reckless actions here would be bad but they
did manage to save Wyvern (😭) and that means something too.
Aside from the fighting dangerous gangs bit, I am reminded a lot specifically of equestrian sports in how pokemon training is in this world for kids. Equestrian sports, even with modern safety measures, carry a unique level of danger to them since you're working with a living animal. But being able to have a chance to do sports or activities or group things is worth it. The fear of danger and need to never experience even one tough situation isn't healthy.
I think the ending does a great job wrapping it all up, showing how what they did was dangerous and they're very fortunate to be okay but also that its possible to move on from that with time, that they were able to keep their friendship and that training/journeying isn't bad.
Some other bits that are very good:
- Derek tilting into full suicidal recklessness is extremely juicy. that entire battle is *chefs kiss*. I love the progression, the giddy sort of realization and decision, then when the moments actually came he realized "wait hang on maybe I dont wanna die". I was slightly surprised that one of his driving motivations was fear of being fired/how he'd be perceived by others but its not unrealistic.
- Russo
housing a ghost in his body is freakin PEAK oh my gosh . Thats an amazing idea . I need to steal it except I have nowhere to use it. I love it though, I love the realization and the weird power moment he had followed by the reveal. Up until that point the fic had been fairly down to earth (and still remained so) but I was like "????????????" what is he doing how does he have powers. Then i was like "OHHHH"
- I think the pokeball explanation is fascinating how its employed here. A mix of speed domestication with a dash of
maybe brainwashing. What makes it more interesting is also how its treated in-universe as just the way things are. The explanation and platitudes with the understanding that people in the world might be slightly uncomfy but also how its necessary in its own way for the pokemons safety and the childs/trainers etc.
Without the magical overtones of the manga/games/anime it feels more like the gray area of how animals in our world are treated. Parrots, dolphins, dogs, horses and such are capable of displaying a lot of intelligence in different forms. We used to (in some places) "break" horses for example. Very different and harsher training methods than what might be recommended today. But that was sort of just how things were done, one way or another. Dogs too, we've developed and progressed on from or adapted a lot of different training methods. Some good, some bad.
In this way I think pokemon training and the use of the apricorn juice reminds me of this. Not quite as simple as writing it off as "evil" (since aside from maybe psychic types they seem hyper intelligent but not quite sapient as anime-mon) but uncomfy in a realistic sort of way. Maybe one day humans will find another even better way to tame pokemon.
[I do briefly find myself wondering upon reflection how necessary it is to address at all. Obviously you won't be editing this fic so this is a moot point but it occurs to me as a reader I never would have stopped to really wonder much about the semantics, since training is so baked into any pokefic its not necessary to overexplain]
- I said this before, but the kid writing is supepr good. You do a really nice job capturing a realistic sense of how kids can be capable and mature and also ignorant and immature. Trying to cautious and smart in their own ways but utterly unwise to the dangers and not realizing the risks of their actions
- Travis teaching Wyvern and his other mon hydrokinesis is sick and also mixing Scald + Surf is
. I love that. Actually feels cool and satisfying as opposed to "here's my fusion move thats super special" but fits well within the parameters of your realistic world.
- Oh speaking of realism I love to see a "realistic" pokemon fic that actually
feels grounded + realistic without being grimdark. I can actually imagine this as a world that feels lived in and grounded without "the training age was raised 22 because a bajillion kids died" or like, killing stuff left and right lol. This is my brand of grounded realism
. Its rather hopeful overall actually! Training feels like it has risks but is overall a safe endeavor that kids can do
- Its really funny that the kids mention trying to find Lugia. history repeats itself lol
- Jason getting to use his pokeball throwing skills at the end there was really cool (even if he uh, suffered some consequences for that, yikes)
Who was going to stop them?
this is pure peak ending line. Obsessed.
