The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[unrepentantAuthor]

Fuck it! I'm voting for Nilam like I shoulda done in the first place, and nobody can tell me otherwise!

"I fuckin' knew it," grumbled Jesse from his spot on the couch. "I was fuckin' right!! Hrgh... I'll be right with y'all, I jus' need a minute to gather my thoughts..."

That, and salve his inexplicable sadness over the absence of Darkwhite. At least she was alive, right? They were all alive. That was good.

He'd been so scared for a minute there that Darkwhite was dead. Why?

 

[Tanuki]

"I fuckin' knew it," grumbled Jesse

"Knew it? Knew what?" Elbert sounded desperate. "Any idea or info on what's going on will help us. Oh, and go get Darkwhite. The quantumologist want to know why she's the only one still aliv—there with a recognizable Soul Signature."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Howdy, Elbert. I'll be with you proper when I get my shit together but in the meantime... We voted off Nilam, and I led that one. And what d'ya know, their gift was coal! ...Darkwhite's gift done got opened in the night, though, disappearin' her the same way as Squirt and Mewtwo. Naughty guest got 'er."

 

[Shiny Phantump]

"Knew it? Knew what?" Elbert sounded desperate. "Any idea or info on what's going on will help us. Oh, and go get Darkwhite. The quantumologist want to know why she's the only one still aliv—there with a recognizable Soul Signature."

"Darkwhite is... gone. As of last night."

Abigail paused and thought about the issue. "Some of us are... or were humans. That could explain the lack of soul signatures. Maybe we didn't get souls when we were turned into other things?"

 

[Tanuki]

"Some of us are... or were humans. That could explain the lack of soul signatures. Maybe we didn't get souls when we were turned into other things?"

"No, that can't be it. We ensured everyone who crossed over had a soul after, especially if the universe needed to change you. Having bodies without souls around, well, doesn't make for a very festive experience." The mic cut in and out, the noise gate barely low enough to hear him hum in thought. "Darkwhite's... gone? Shit. I ain't telling them that in person or the quantumologists'll make a Schrodinger out of me."

 

[Shiny Phantump]

"No, that can't be it. We ensured everyone who crossed over had a soul after, especially if the universe needed to change you. Having bodies without souls around, well, doesn't make for a very festive experience." The mic cut in and out, the noise gate barely low enough to hear him hum in thought. "Darkwhite's... gone? Shit. I ain't telling them that in person or the quantumologists'll make a Schrodinger out of me."

"Wait, hold on. You did this to me? W-Why? C-Can I go back to normal? And why would you do this to me in the first place? I'm trapped in a body that's not mine, in a world beyond my comprehension. You think that's festive? Then fuck you! How fucking dare you do this me!"

Abigail was shaking. With what emotion, she wasn't sure. Or rather, which what emotions. She was a whole multicolour fuckbouquet of feelings. Anger was one of them, but there were other, less easily identifiable feelings in there somewhere, too.

 

[Tanuki]

"Wait, hold on. You did this to me? W-Why? C-Can I go back to normal? And why would you do this to me in the first place? I'm trapped in a body that's not mine, in a world beyond my comprehension. You think that's festive? Then fuck you! How fucking dare you do this me!"

Abigail was shaking. With what emotion, she wasn't sure. Or rather, which what emotions. She was a whole multicolour fuckbouquet of feelings. Anger was one of them, but there were other, less easily identifiable feelings in there somewhere, too.

"Nono no no, wait—" Elbert tried to cut in before her rant started, but she had way too much momentum. The air in the room felt suffocating in its silence. "So, we didn't do anything to change you. Universes don't really like when people move between them, so sometimes they lash out a little bit, or the incoming person needs to be something else to prevent a quantum collapse. We didn't expect that to happen as much as it did, honestly, but still, we checked all your vitals after the transfer. Heart, brain, mind, soul, religion, we made sure you were all otherwise entirely unchanged. As for changing back, uh..."

Another insufferable silence filled the room. "Well, under normal circumstances, reversion is simple. Universes do it naturally, in fact. The case on that mountain, though, a lot of rules that can't be broken have been. I'm... sorry, but we don't know exactly how this will all end. This reality has broken several probabilities and forty-seven and a half impossibilities. We're trying to figure out how this will end, but our projections are insufficient."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse scratched away with his chalk, his fur by now thoroughly stained with the stuff. Where before he'd been manic in his pursuit of scum, now he was just... tired.

Grieving, perhaps.

Spoiler: GUEST CONDUCT BOARD

Name	Notes	Name	Notes	Name	Notes
Jesse	Yours truly. I skipped the first two nights, then voted Mia, Nocitlalin and now Nilam. My power is non-info, and may never come in handy. I used a one-off item to identify Abigail as a survivor.	Darkwhite	Murdered. Had a night-skipping power.	Mia	Our first lynch, and confirmed scum. Targeted Darkwhite and Nocitlalin.
Mewtwo	Experimentally voted for Palkia before dying early.	Nilam	Our third lynch, and confirmed scum. Wanted aggressive pursuit of lynches. Argued firmly for both Nocitlalin (mislynched) and Gen (cleared).	Nickit	Apparently doesn't exist.
Lee	Always has thoughts to offer. Has cleared a number of people of murders, but not for alignment. Has usually skipped, but now claims he will vote with me. Can interrogate the dead for a single moment each night.	Gen	Terrified out of his wits at all times, no investigative efforts to speak of. Always votes to skip. Claims to have a powerful ability that would make him a target for the Naughty guests.	Tabitha	Has mostly criticised tactically unsound assumptions about behaviour, initially skipped but later voted for Darkwhite in pursuit of information and for Nilam since. Claims to have a night power.
Palkia	Extensive analysis. Accused Darkwhite before walking it back, and has skipped twice. Briefly voted for Abigail, but helped lynch Mia. Claims to have an unreliable night power. Has been fucking around a lot recently.	Abigail	Inherited the power and memories of Vaporeon Blue. Is a neutral guest, whose objective is to survive along with her partner survivor, who is unknown. Has an info power that identifies alignment. Helped me lynch Nilam.	Nocitlalin	Mislynched at Nilam's urging. Aggressively hunted for bingo cards, suggested that day 2 voters might be killers, ie. Nilam. Claimed to have a target redirection power, but never proved it.

Spoiler: VOTING HISTORY BOARD

Day 2 vote: Palkia Skip	Day 2 voters: Mewtwo, Nilam Gen, Lee, Jesse, Darkwhite Nocitlalin, Mia, Palkia	Day 2 lynch: skipped	Night 2 murder: Mewtwo
Day 3 vote: Darkwhite Mia Skip	Day 3 voters: Tabitha Nilam Lee, Abigail, Gen Mia, Palkia, Jesse	Day 3 lynch: skipped	Night 3 murder: skipped
Day 4 vote: Mia Nilam Nocitlalin	Day 4 voters: Nilam, Darkwhite, Abigail, Lee Nocitlalin, Palkia, Jesse Tabitha Mia	Day 4 lynch: Mia (scum)	Night 4 murder: skipped
Day 5 vote: Nocitlalin Nilam Santa	Day 5 voters: Jesse, Abigail, Nilam Tabitha, Nocitlalin Palkia, Darkwhite	Day 5 lynch: Nocitlalin (innocent)	Night 5 murder: skipped
Day 6 vote: Nilam	Day 6 voters: Abigail, Jesse	Day 6 lynch: Nilam (scum)	Night 6 murder: Darkwhite
Day 7 vote:	Day 7 voters:	Day 7 lynch:	Night 7 murder:

Spoiler: SUSPECT STATUS BOARD

Dead	Cleared of 1st & 2nd Murders by Lee	Alignment Cleared by Jesse	Alignment Cleared by Abigail	Scum Candidates
Squirt	Jesse	Abigail	Jesse	N/A
Mewtwo	Palkia		Lee
Mia	Gen		Palkia
Nickit	Tabitha		Tabitha
Nocitlalin			Gen
Darkwhite
Nilam
Nickit

Spoiler: LIST OF FUCKING BINGO NUMBERS

B: 3, 11, 13, 14 I: 23, 28 N: 32, 33, 36, 37, 40, 41, 44 G: 51, 55, 57 O: 66, 67, 68, 75

Jesse's Take (assuming all info is good):

Confirmed Innocent	Uncertain	Probably Scum	Confirmed Scum
Jesse	Nickit 💀	????	Mia 💀
Palkia			Nilam 💀
Gen
Lee
Abigail
Tabitha
Darkwhite 💀
Mewtwo 💀
Squirt 💀
Nocitlalin 💀

"I don't fuckin' know where to go from here. Everyone's alignment has been confirmed 'less at some point we had an alignment clearing go wrong due to unknown power use. If I were to force a suspicion, I'd go fer Tabitha, I guess? But I reckon he really is a survivor, and not scum. The fuck do we do now, huh?"

"You don't what now?"

"Ah, Darkwhite said somethin' afore she went, about what do I mean 'I don't have my powers'. I meant my real powers. Delphox magic. I have a 'weird batshit holiday world' power, I just..."

"Have you used your power even once? I'm guessing no, but it doesn't hurt to ask."

"Never fuckin' used it. 'Cause it would never have been a fuckin' help. Mind you, I got another of them strong intuitions, tellin' me it just got a little stronger. Still not likely to come in handy, though. We'll see, I guess."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse blearily raised a paw for more silence.

"One more thing afore I take another nap... I used my second sacrificial dove to identify another random guest's alignment."

He levelled a claw at Palkia.

"Ya may be fuckin' mischievous, but yer Nice. We already knew that if we trusted Abigail's power, of course, but there ya have it."

 

[Chibi Pika]

"Ya may be fuckin' mischievous, but yer Nice. We already knew that if we trusted Abigail's power, of course, but there ya have it."

Palkia put a claw to its chest with a look of mock heartbreak. "That you even had to check--I'm wounded!" It pivoted in midair and levelled a grin at him. "You know I'm rather surprised you came across two of those things. I thought for sure, after how powerful the hens were, that the doves would find their way into the hands of our enemies!"

Palkia hummed, glancing about the party guests. "I do believe... that we may need to sort out what abilities all of our gifts have, once and for all. If there were any swappers, or blockers, or redirectors... well, let's just say that would explain why last night didn't go the way I thought it would."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse waved a paw flippantly at Palkia.

"Like I said, the person whose alignment I learned was random. Give over, you great lunk. Anyway... Since we started I've received one bingo card, two doves (both of which I've now used), a secret bingo number, and an upgrade to my power which still ain't likely to make a difference, ever. There y'have it."

 

[Chibi Pika]

Palkia's eyes lit up. "Ah yes, the secret bingo number. Mine didn't do me much good. You all already know I've eaten my hen. And as for my gift..." The spatial dragon paused, looking contemplative. "I was so certain I'd used it... but perhaps it was only a dream."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse sat down heavily in the couch.

"Okay, so, anyone have any ideas about where to take this? Elbert? Anyone? In the meantime, I need literally anything else to focus on. Maybe a puzzle that makes sense, something genuinely solvable with no hidden information. Actually..."

He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a five-by-five-by-five puzzle cube.

"This fucker. Had it in my pocket since day one, but there was so much to keep straight in my head I plain forgot it. Let's see if I can unfuck this thing, huh?"

Jesse levitated the cube above his palm, and set about rotating its components at an impressive rate for a novice to the challenge.

 

[Tanuki]

“Your gifts... have powers?” Elbert sounded like he would be surprised if impossibilities hadn’t assaulted every second he spent interacting with them.

“Shop’s in order, y’all!” boomed the Rillaboom Rentals loudspeaker. “Just waitin’ on the ski lift. M’ham ain’t reachin’ ‘em. Can’t open up until the ski lift is runnin’.”

 

[IFBench]

Gen walked into the room, shaking a bit, but a small smile was on his face. He felt...safe.

That smile faded when he noticed who was absent.

Darkwhite.

One of the ones with the most capability to keep people here safe.

One of the ones that made him feel a bit less alone.

"No..." Gen quietly said. His eyes grew moist.

As he walked through the room, he noticed Jesse's alignment board. A thought ran through his head.

Didn't Abigail never get to try the bingo thing to clear Lee? Why's he in the cleared by Abigail column then?

He didn't comment on it. Not yet.

He needed to calm down first.

He walked over, and sat down next to Abigail, looking forlornly at Darkwhite's open gift.

 

[Shiny Phantump]

Abigail figured getting up to the rental shop was going to be an important step in figuring out what was going on. Unfortunately, between the toxicity of iron to her, her general lack of understanding regarding ski lift anatomy, and a lack of engineering expertise in general led to her being hardly optimistic about her chances of repairing it.

Instead, she tried to levitate by picking herself up with telekinesis. It didn't work.

She was sure there was a way to make it work, though. She took a cookie sheet. She gave it a quick tap to make sure it was aluminum and not stainless steel or something, and her finger came back unburned. Just in case there was some kind of game logic rule that wouldn't let her lift what she was sitting on directly, she took a second tray to put the first tray in. She sat down in the tray in a tray and tried to pick up the tray with telekinesis.

 

[Tanuki]

Abigail felt a chill. Perhaps it was the mountain, a stray snowflake crawling down her spine, or a pair of eyes watching her. There was a cabin next to the lift, connected by underground wire. Its door was closed.

 

[IFBench]

Gen watched Abigail leave, frowning further. Now he was alone again.

He hesitated, then walked towards Jesse and hugged the Delphox.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Hey there, kid. Doin' okay?"

Jesse pause his puzzle-solving and put an arm around the oshawott. Tiny little fucker oughtn't to be here. Jesse deserved weird purgatorial bullshit, but Gen was just a boy. Why the hell was he suffering through this kind of situation? That fucking committee was gonna get an earful at least, if he could help it.

"Take a look at this, son. Y'ever seen a thing like this before?" he asked, levitating the puzzle cube over to the otter. It was pretty damn near solved already, but not quite.

 

[IFBench]

"N-no," Gen admitted. "Darkwhite's gone, and now..."

He stopped, as Jesse showed him the cube. He had seen them around before in Goldenrod storefronts, but never looked into them, and never any five by five by five variants.

Should I really say that, though? I'd be admitting that I was a human.

...Jesse's helped me a lot, and Saltriv and Burhalla aren't here. I can trust him.

"...y-yeah," Gen answered.