kintsugi
golden scars | pfp by sun
review responses! psyche, rip suNday. sooN (TM)
(either way, glad to see you back here! always a treat to hear your thoughts, regardless of the format that they're in!)
Always a pleasure to hear from you! Loved the unique perspective and line-by-lines here; it's always great to see what this fic makes people think about.
seriously, this is really great to hear. I know there's a lot of tone shifts in the early arcs and I'm glad that it seems like the emotional weights landed where I wanted/needed them to here.
Cheren's interesting to me because he's not, in my opinion, all that far removed from a lot of trainers, both in fic and canon. You're absolutely correct that one of the central themes of this story is ignorance--pretty much all of the conflicts here are caused because one or more parties are unable to wrap their heads around someone else's situation. To me ignorance is a much more insidious way to build up an antagonist than to make them outright evil/malicious, and the older I get the more I realize that this is more often the case. You don't have to actively seek to harm someone to become an antagonist in their lives; all you have to do is close your eyes when they need you to see. Ignorance and ignore share the same root.
(and besides. if you were in Carnel's shoes, how long would it take for you to play nice with your new owner?)
The klinklang is N's here (although the scientist, Colress, also has one! but he does not appear).
Thank you for stopping by! Always fun to see you around.
Hi Rain!!Hi kintsugi.
lol, apologies if this is a dumb question, but why 137? am I being called out on quantum stuff already lolPassing by here. I confess that I haven't read further than I already had long ago, and I plan to get there, eventually; I also confess that I have silly reasons for commenting now: I wanted to be post 137 in the thread here. : )
(either way, glad to see you back here! always a treat to hear your thoughts, regardless of the format that they're in!)
oh my god what a mood. also, bless, I think this is the first time I've seen you swear.If anyone thinks "What is this grammar? Why is it so bad and what's the structure here?" or "What the fuck do these words even mean??", then you're not alone. I don't know what I was thinking about my writing, and I don't know how to make it better at the moment, lol
This song really slaps, and yeah, it's from Boots and Pen! I think Pen recommended the song and Boots pointed me to the orchestral cover, correctly guessing that it'd be even more my aesthetic. It definitely paints a specific imagery for me, and I think we're on the same page with the kind of tone it sets, yeah!I did listen to The Beekeeper previously, and just did again. Seems like this was from WildBoots and Pen. (The first times I heard the song, it did not do it for me, yet now it's just! wow.) The orchestra! the piano. the vocalist. the choir. the drums, the strings, the wind instruments. The (pre & post)-echoing chorus, the solemn walk, the stillness in the night, the stalwart-spirit march, fist upraised, eyes unfazed.
omg for once I referenced cracks here without intentionally making it about the kintsugi concept--in this case this scar is probably not one that changes things for the better.Cleaving and furrowing, rending asunder, is there a way to put the pieces back? (Coming back to this before posting: I was initially thinking of The Beekeeper and the no-return choice presented by Reshiram, and just realized: these all link to the kintsugi concept.)
In the context of "Beekeeper" I understand it as expressing the sentiment that doctors and farmers are equally valuable to our society, that their tools require equal amounts of skill to use, parallel imagery of cutting something open to sustain life--and yet we greatly revere one over the other. But that's just me! I think music often means what we want it to.(Still hung up on the kindred instruments. Cleaving and furrowing, cultivation or healing, by incision & division?)
What becomes of the colony? Did we bring the night upon ourselves?
This is actually a game quote from N--and I agree, it's one I find fascinating. Attributing someone with the ability to lie means assuming they're capable of morality, choice, and some degree of intelligence. So for N to so casually suggest otherwise is wild to me. This does get revisited, and frequently, although the main focus of it in the beginning is just: who should we be asking to tell the truth in this situation?.This statement was featured in the title post. I believe psychology (or certain studies within it) may have showed us that many of us are much more prone to lie than we realize. Once the baseline brain power to conceive of possibilities and references is there, it's available. What does this bode for the nature of pokemon? What's the context in the first place. Is it beyond statements? I'll just have to read on to find illumination on it.
This solution is far from ideal, yes. But as the Hero of Truth that's kind of par the course, unfortunately.Mmmm, interesting. Optimal pathsearching given constraint conditions, limited info, and individual agency by all participating parties, of which there are many. Is a world where everyone is happy possible? Maybe, and also sounds frightfully elusive. And the eternal consideration: do the ends justify the means? Here turned around in some sense. Life/reality is there, you don't really get to experiment all-out to find a best solution. Natural deems that the real suffering of even thousands isn't worth the additional time needed to discover and forge a different path and hopeful conclusion.
N uses "people" in the general sense to refer to anyone he thinks is a person--this includes humans and pokemon. Most pokemon consider themselves people. Most humans, based off of the common phrase in the games "people and pokemon", do not consider pokemon to be people. The divide created by that exclusion is pretty core to this fic and its themes, yup!(And is "people" in the general sense here, or is it very specifically for a certain set of human communities?)
Ha, I wish I had a cool quantum answer for you but the answer is more or less "your life flashes before your eyes in the moment before you die."Oft-commented characteristic of this story. Perhaps like many, an initial response was "How?" Again, I'm very not far into the story, but it seems in part to be a neat way to explore the roots and reasons for choices and how events unfold.
Always a pleasure to hear from you! Loved the unique perspective and line-by-lines here; it's always great to see what this fic makes people think about.
Hi Nebby, long time no see! I know you've been drifting away from the fandom, and I definitely get that--there's a lot of weird shit in this specific fictional universe. Ironically I feel like we do end up circling the same drain here with our general confusion about the Pokemon world lol.So, first of all, sorry it took me so long to get to this. I’d heard great things about this fic and I wanted to build myself up to read it because I have a lot of passionate thoughts about the Pokemon world, and as you might know, it’s something I’m trying to abandon since I’ve stopped following the series. I’m also really stubborn when it comes to reading other people’s headcanons, which isn’t anyone’s fault, it’s just to do with my preferences to read something that aligns with my different takes on Pokemon, which ironically led to me staying in my own comfort zone.
Honestly I'm always baffled when the dex casually mentions that humans almost killed off multiple species of pokemon (lapras, stantler, farfetch'd) and it's like, y'all know we aren't supposed to be complicit in the genocide of our friends, right???You’ve also pulled no punches with N’s antihuman views by describing a tangible example of how much ruin they’re capable of bringing, not as a vague conflict specific to the Pokemon world, but as tangible atrocities in this world as well since it’s written all over our history. At one point, we discussed the issue of colonialism and Pokemon, and that’s certainly applicable here with how Opelucid City sits on the ruins of the Valley of the Dragons and how the settlers took that away from them.
nope, you're very right on the pickup there, and I'm glad you spotted it/that the one-sidedness of this comes through--N grows up around dragons and not native Unovans, so when he talks about that specific part of history he focuses on the pokemon only. It's a pretty glaring flaw of his and it's generally a root of why he fails to understand certain characters in future chapters.On that note, I’m not sure if N described the slaughter of all life there including the natives, or just the dragons (I could be misreading something there), but if it’s the former, it adds even more validity to his points. In any case, this more grounded tone I’ve come to expect from your fanfiction (just from reading Handfuls of Dust) properly matches the darkness lurking beneath Pokemon’s worldbuilding.
Ha, I'm glad you made the POV jump okay! It's been kind of a weird thing to juggle because I definitely want to make people feel like they aren't reading about humans, but at the same time it's a lot to ask as far as jumping to weird heads.The perspective change made my head spin for a moment, and I wasn’t sure if it was still confined to a Pokemon’s perspective or changed over to the human announcer. When Wave finally got his name (or species) drop, it was a brilliant moment just based on how unique this Pokemon perspective is. And this whole setup as well. The coordination of league battles and all the recording and PR behind it is something that gets taken for granted from what I’ve seen in the show and other Pokemon fics. So I really appreciate that this chapter gives a behind the scenes look at what goes into running a league battle. And I’ve dabbled in photography and film, so I get Wave’s struggles here too.
I mean it's fine, right? The rotom itself doesn't risk permanent damage, since it can unpossess the drone if it's ever in any real danger :') Alola casually mentioning that we just shoved a bunch of sentient ghosts into our smartphone/pokedex combos really made me raise my eyebrows at the whole "friends vs tool" line that you poke at here, yup.As I mentioned before, the transition to Wave was a nice change of pace, and serves as a great counterpoint to Vaselva; unlike Vaselva’s relationship with Hilda, which is built on mutual respect, Wave is treated more as a tool. I really like how their characterisation built up throughout the chapter. There’s already the sense that they’re sick of Markus’ BS (and wow, Markus has no qualms putting a living drone in harm's way to get a nicer view of the Volcorona), but they either hide it because they have to be a loyal camera bot, or they’ve just had to do it as a part of the mask they’ve built up.
Oh, apologies if this was unclear--they're never hacked by Plasma. Ghetsis threatens to harm Markus if he stops the broadcast, so Markus doesn't stop the broadcast. Later, when Wave isn't getting the footage Markus wants, Markus zaps Wave, but said zap doesn't strip free will so much as just jolt him--I sort of got stuck on the concept of how you'd try to discipline a ghost drone and landed on EMP, but it's no more hacking than slapping someone in the face would be considered mind control.Once they get hacked, how much of their decision to linger on the brutal scene is influenced by Team Plasma, and how much of it is their own? Do they have the same rights as other Pokemon in N’s plan if they’re closer to having artificial intelligence rather than human/animal intelligence? The restrained emotions in the narration make the moments where Wave expresses their own opinions stand out even more. It also makes me wonder what a Rotom would do once they have the freedom to live separately from humans.
I'm glad you picked up on this! Ghetsis treads a very muddy line of "has a point" and "but you still shouldn't try to burn children alive". Sometimes people assume I'm trying to hardline him as 100% right or 100% wrong, but I'm really not lol.And onto Ghetsis. While there’s a lot of exposition in his dialogue about how Alder’s rule as Champion has stamped out Pokemon rights such as conservation efforts and the licensing system, it feels natural in the context of his speech. Of course, none of this justifies Ghetsis’ actions at all, but he wouldn’t be such an intimidating presence here if he didn’t have a point.
Ha, very true on the Ghibli inspiration (Castle in the Sky is admittedly my favorite for nostalgia reasons, although I think you're right that Mononoke is way closer to my aesthetic), although in this case it's actually because Alder's nicknamed his team team (Saffir, Ghibli) after different kinds of winds. I thought it'd fit nicely in with Unovan towns being named after clouds and Alder's beliefs in general being simultaneously blistering and difficult to pin down.Oh, and last thing about this chapter, hmm, a Volcorona named Ghibli. Come to think of it, I can see shades of Ghibli’s films in your influences, particularly Princess Mononoke.
<3Well, this was, er… intense, but in a much different way from the previous chapter. While the previous one was a lot more blunt about its messages and more outwardly dark, coupled with the violence, this one is a lot more introspective and manages to be even more sinister in a more subtle way. I felt such mixed emotions throughout it, which is a good thing, since this fic so far has been about exploring the unintentional horror of Pokemon’s premise and making you feel uncomfortable. But as usual, I’ll take a deeper look into it by focusing on the characters.
seriously, this is really great to hear. I know there's a lot of tone shifts in the early arcs and I'm glad that it seems like the emotional weights landed where I wanted/needed them to here.
ba-dum-tsss indeed lol.He’s the kind of trainer that makes people tweet #GhetsisDidNothingWrong. Jokes aside, I really hated his guts, in a good way, since it highlights one of the central themes of the story: ignorance. Just the way he calls the wholesome intelligent ronk an ‘it’, how he ignores Carnel’s attempt to communicate and how everything we’ve seen of the story so far casts his drive to become the strongest trainer in a more cynical light. He’s not an unlikable or malicious character; he’s just so far removed from understanding any of his Pokemon that he doesn’t even realise the damage he’s causing them.
I was half-expecting the chapter to have a mini-arc where Carnel learns that Cheren really does care about them after all and they learn to play nice with their new owner. But things aren’t that black and white (ba-dum-tsss) in Envy of Eden.
Cheren's interesting to me because he's not, in my opinion, all that far removed from a lot of trainers, both in fic and canon. You're absolutely correct that one of the central themes of this story is ignorance--pretty much all of the conflicts here are caused because one or more parties are unable to wrap their heads around someone else's situation. To me ignorance is a much more insidious way to build up an antagonist than to make them outright evil/malicious, and the older I get the more I realize that this is more often the case. You don't have to actively seek to harm someone to become an antagonist in their lives; all you have to do is close your eyes when they need you to see. Ignorance and ignore share the same root.
(and besides. if you were in Carnel's shoes, how long would it take for you to play nice with your new owner?)
oof wow! This is really high praise, and I'm definitely glad that it made you think (and even change your mind on some things!! that's always the dream but it's really awesome to see it come through). I struggle with words here but I'm glad that it's making you revisit some of those thoughts.I’d go as far as to say this is the darkest thing I’ve read in any Pokemon fic (again, without being edgy), where it goes to such an existentially petrifying place that I don’t think I’ll be able to think of Pokemon the same way, even with all of the gripes I had towards the series before reading this. This is a bold statement, but I’m not exaggerating either; the concept of a higher being (not necessarily higher intelligence, but more evolved or of a higher status) ignoring your struggles and making everything you’ve done up to that point meaningless is horrifying to me. And the way it ended on such a defeatist note got under my skin, again, in a good way.
One of the fun things about reverse chronology is putting everyone at their extremes--this is as far polarized as both sides get. Ghetsis tries to immolate a child, because he thinks it'll get him what he wants. Cheren takes possession of several people and completely disregards any notion they have for their own wants/needs/self-realization, because he thinks it'll get him what he wants. As we go further back the crimes get less and less extreme, since in many ways we build up to atrocities by boiling the frog, so to speak. But at the same time, even at the end--does one side's existence/bad actions justify backing the other?Both sides have a point. While the trainers and the gatekeepers of the league are complacent about the status quo of the trainer society and enable the awful reality the Pokemon have to live through, they aren’t just total bastards that disregard the wellbeing of their team. Team Plasma is extreme to the point that they are just straight up villains here, but the points raised by N and Ghetsis also have a lot of truth to them to the point that a lot of the Pokemon, even when they disagree with them, side with them still.
might I interest you in ... ?Hell, the Pokemon seem more open to double-sided conflicts than their own trainers; if N ever gets his wish, these characters should form their own government.
Again, hard to find words here, but this means a lot to me and I'm glad that you had such a good time with this. The music recs slapped too. <3Truthfully, it’s hard for me to engage with Pokemon fics as I once did before. Over time, the series settled more and more into its comfort zone, and it just felt like a waste of energy caring for something like Pokemon when I’m no longer the target audience for it. So reading Envy of Eden, which is a thorough deconstruction of the whole franchise, has been a cathartic swan song for my experiences in the Pokemon fandom, that possibly stands well on its own as just a damn good story. I probably won’t be reading any further, but best of luck to the rest of this fic. This deserves all the good buzz it gets and then some.
Hiya K_S, nice to meet you in the wild! I have review preferences tagged in the index post (it's easily buried), and for this fic it's basically "hit me with anything I'm always happy to read it", so happy accidents there.Alright here per review tag, handling chapters one and two. I'm sorry I didn't see any review preferences so I'm just jumping in and did a line-by-line reaction review. Hopefully, you prefer this style.
It's not quite an earthquake--canonically N says that his goal is to create two separate worlds, one for humans and one for pokemon. Reshiram is making that desire into reality, so the "fracture" in this case is more of a reality-altering schism.So the world ends in an earthquake? And curious how architecture can be a causality, it speaks of a gentle narrator at heart. Or one with odd priorities.
Re: time--it's more about the former, with things being perceived in slow motion, but not happening in slow motion.Now I don't remember black and white very well but I do remember their scientist and his kinklang, I'm wondering if the scattered and dead 'mon isn't his team. Though curious how the narrator can perceive them "in slow motion" to gentle the sight of their death in his mind.... Is the world actually slowed, the story's viewpoint standing in a fraction of a moment watching things fall apart, or is this all some sort of delusion? The attention to detail seems to affirm it's a supernatural event thus far...
The klinklang is N's here (although the scientist, Colress, also has one! but he does not appear).
N really doesn't want to fight here, but (as the rest of the chapter shows), he ultimately will. But yeah, the alarm bells are a fair reaction to have since he's about to end the world.Now someone can mean something, kindness and whatnot, but be cruel while following up on that (tough love and cruel to be kind leap to mind). So N's statement seems a pseudo comfort at best and is ringing alarm bells left, right, and center...
N's character seems pretty entwined with doubt--in the games he definitely seems paralyzed by the weight of the choice he has to make, if he should be the one who should be doing all of this Plasma stuff, if he's right to oppose you, etc. The climax literally has the dragons running on the strength of their hero's convictions; canonically, N doubts himself and fails to stop the protagonist. And yeah! He's definitely unsure if he's picking the right answer here. He's convincing Hilda that he's ready just as much as he's convincing himself."When he hears your words, he flinches, almost as if you’d attacked him instead."
The fact that N flinches when he is put to a very basic question makes me think he's more torn up about his end game than he's putting on. Also would great emotional harm that he's inflicting, by forcing a separation, bypass the "to stop all harm" ambition that N's using as the crux of his... wish... with Zer's power?
Thanks for your kind words, and thanks for stopping by!I will give N (and of course you, the writer props) that's a very smoothed-out motive rant. You can feel N's sanity and ideals smack into a disaster dominos as this scene unfolds...
Overall this piece has been a treat, thanks for sharing with us.
Hi Umbra, really appreciate you stopping by! I think you nailed the content/tone I was aiming for with this chapter, which was really great to see.HERE FOR CATNIP. CHAPTER 2.
That. Was a time. A very good time and a very terrible time all at once.
This is such an accurate and succinct summary of chapter 2 omg. I love it! I'm glad that I was able to make those points clear to you lol--Ghetsis has enough good points that people will back him, but also he's a massive piece of shit.First I love that the perspective of this chapter is from a good ol little SwSh-style camera Rotom, who is trying his hardest but sees enough fucked up shit to go "YOU KNOW WHAT MABYE THAT GHETSIS FUCKER HAS A POINT"
Speaking of that fucker, I ALSO love that there's this whole delicious fakeout about it looking like N is fighting Alder and then PSYCHE It's Ghetsis. It's a well-written Ghetsis - clearly, obviously, a piece of shit, but a clever one who knows how to get his way and may just believe more genuinely in The Cause than canon?
deep apologies if anything made you uncomfortable--if you have any recommendations for updating the tags I can definitely do so!There is a lot of good action here. Though it is. Uh. Very morbid. I, a Volcarona fan, had an especially miserable time.
I must admit, for a fic that advertises itself as being "a story about things that start with N", things rapidly get out of hand and the things that start with N rarely end with them ...But. There is a very glaring ommission here. No Ns. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Abominable. You write an N fic and forget to include N in the second chapter? How could you. How could you say no to this face?
Thank you for stopping by! Always fun to see you around.