Rocky Road ~ House of Diyem, Eien, Mellow, and Toast

[Negrek]

It wasn't funny in the slightest, most of it, but Nate couldn't help but smile faintly. "Can't really speak for nobody else here, bud, but I can fucking guarantee I wasn't never born pure. So you don't got to worry none about corrupting my spirit or whatever the fuck. I'm doing a damn fine job of that on my own, like give a man some credit, here."

He couldn't keep up that levity, though. Instead he finally gave in and started rubbing at one of his gills, thoughtful. "I think maybe... I don't really understand how this all is supposed to work with you. All this about being an eternal being and shit. Where I'm from, at least, I'm pretty much expecting to die and that'll be it, you know? I guess if I... was supposed to keep coming back over and over again, yeah, that would be pretty fucking shit. Wouldn't like that a damn bit." From what Diyem and a few others had been saying, everybody ended up all floating around in the afterlife or some shit, like everybody, and Nate really, really didn't want to have to think about that right now. Or ever.

"Is the idea that when you die, you'll have to start over? Lose all your memories and everything? I mean, it sounded like you had a pretty chill deal going on before the Overseers yanked you out of the afterlife or whatever the fuck. If they hadn't come along, was there any reason you couldn't have stayed the way you were forever?"

 

[Namohysip]

"Quite the opposite," Diyem replied with a cruel smile. "...Memories... deep, deep within me... within, perhaps, all spirits... are eternal. Experiences... the past... desires, thoughts... regrets, failures... they are all a long, long road that goes as far as you can see. And it goes onward, forever, forward, every moment that passes.

"Mortals... lose sight of their road. Sometimes they are reincarnated, like Truffle's, and that old life can only be found by special, perhaps spiritual means. Other times, it fades with time, as new experiences distract you from the old. But they never leave. They... never... leave.

"When someone says they are an eternal being... what it really means is their roads fade slower... if at all. I could think back to my days as 'Dark Matter' as if it were yesterday, if I wished. I do not... but it is always there. Lingering. Haunting me.

"Even if I were to be reborn as... a mortal. One day... that past will return to me. And then my new life will be ruined with that old knowledge." Diyem chuckled darkly. "Imagine... living a perfectly normal life. And one day... you realize you are truly me. Something that had once ended worlds. The burden you'd feel..."

 

[Negrek]

Eternal spirits, always walking the same road? The past following you from one age to the next, maybe one life to the next. Nate tugged harder on his gills, uneasy. Well. His world didn't have no fucking Dark Matter, or Voice of Life or any of these other eternal weirdos. Stood to reason it didn't have none of this road bullshit, neither. Simple as.

Nate tried to picture what it would be like, living a normal life and then suddenly waking up with the knowledge that you were some kind of ancient force of evil who'd, like, killed entire planets of people. Hard to wrap his head around it. Hell, if he was thinking that, he didn't think he would be able to. No head-wrapping there. He sighed. "I think probably if I ended up realizing something like that, I'd assume I was going fucking crazy and check myself into the loony bin. Probably they got drugs for that sort of thing. But for you, like, where it's actually real..."

Like he was qualified to say anything about it. About any of this shit. He didn't know what it was like to try to destroy a planet, or hurt every time he was supposed to feel happy, or to be experimented on by some gang of intergalactic bastards. "...I dunno. I guess what I would say is, you can't change the past. But you can stop living it. Knowing everything you've done, it fucking sucks. I can't pretend like I got half the shit to deal with that you do, but everybody's done wrong. Everyone gets those nights when they can't sleep for thinking about how stupid they've been, or what a bastard. It fucking sucks, but ain't nobody pure, and that's just life's price of admission."

Nate gave Diyem a solemn look. "All the bad shit in your past ain't ever going to go away. Nobody's does. But that don't make the good shit less real. And you always get to choose what comes next. If you changed your mind tomorrow, went back to petrifying people and like void shadowing them or whatever the fuck, well, it would suck. But it wouldn't change that you had been the person who kept Owen company when he was lonely, or helped Curio figure shit out. Those things would still be there, too. And you could go back to them, no matter how much bad shit you got up to in between. So you're stuck with what you've already done, I guess. But you still got all that road ahead of you, and you get to decide what you fill it up with: more shit that's going to make you hate yourself later, or more things you can be proud of?"

 

[Namohysip]

"...You can't change the past," Diyem repeated, "but you can stop living it."

The dark Charizard pondered those words, as well as everything else Nate had said. It was odd to see Diyem think so deeply; he didn't seem to... blink, when he did. Only stare; the only sign of true movement from him was the dark flame.

"...Perhaps I'd been told that before..." Diyem looked down at Toast, snuggled against his thigh. He gently lifted him up and placed him on his lap. "But... it means something to me now. Perhaps... just a little."

He still seemed down and gloomy. But Nate had struck something, then. Diyem seemed to ponder it genuinely.

 

[Negrek]

"I ain't gonna pretend like shit is easy," Nate said with a rueful smile. "Or like anything makes sense in this goddamn world. But if thinking of things like that helps, even a little bit, then that's good. Cause, you know, I like you and all." His smile was now definitely more of a smirk. "Which maybe you oughta worry about. But it's too late now, I guess. There's another thing you ain't able to change: you found yourself some friends out here. Suppose you're gonna have to learn to live with that, too."

Too much fucking joking. Nate put on a more serious face. This was important shit. "But thanks, anyhow. For letting me in on what you were feeling. I don't figure it was easy, but... thanks. I'm glad you did."

 

[Namohysip]

"Rrgh." Diyem looked away, scowling. "Enough positivity. You'll give me hives."

There was a beat of silence, then, as he ran his claws along Toast's back. It made a crackling sound and Toast purred.

"...But... thank you, too. For humoring me."

 

[Negrek]

"No humoring here," Nate said. "If I ain't feeling something, I'll just fucking leave."

He hesitated a moment. I lied when it was convenient. There was a certain other matter that had been nagging at Nate, a certain "hero's aura" that he'd been wondering if he could get the big guy to level on--and who knew what all else he'd find underneath the answer there?

But for now... No. Diyem could use some time to reflect, probably. No good leaving him with something more to feel guilty about. "Anyhow," he said, stepping back. "Guess I probably ought to get going. Rocky wants me to find a bunch of mirrors or some shit. But... I dunno. If you're feeling up to it, it might be a good idea to try talking to Xerneas. Not, like, going near him or nothing, if you're worried," he said, holding up his hands. "But, like, over the badge. I kinda got the feeling... he didn't like what happened no more than you did. Maybe it'd help the two of you if you tried to make sense of what happened, together. He's kind of maybe sort of your son, after all."

 

[Namohysip]

"...My son." Diyem rolled the words in his mind. "Mmmh. Perhaps so, in a twisted sense. How appropriate that my offpsring would kill the Lifebringer, after all this time." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "...I will consider it. The first order of business would be to find him. And the second would be to give him a badge. But I will find a way, when I have time."

And it didn't look like Diyem was short on that.

 

[Negrek]

Well, that was sort of a more morbid take on it than Nate had been going for, but if it got those two talking, hopefully it was to the good. "That's good," he said. "Hope it helps."

Nate paused, considering the loaf of bread snuggling up against Diyem's side. "The, ah, your Toast is pretty cute," he said. "Not bad if you're just getting into baking."

But after that, it was time to take off. Diyem definitely had some thinking to do, and Nate did, too. He had a feeling he'd be thinking about this conversation for a long time yet, in fact.

<><><>​

 

[Namohysip]

With how large Diyem's home was, it made for an appropriate gathering place for their new mission.

"Mm. So, this will be some of you... And you." He stared at the other Charizard in the room--Red, along with his pocket of Pokemon, and a Pikachu on his shoulder. "You intend to go to my Voidlands. You understand the risks involved in this?"

Red nodded, but he also trusted Diyem.

"Rrrgh... Disgusting." He addressed the others. "And you as well, then. You will have an advantage against him in this domain, but it will still be a risk. If something goes wrong, I will be pulling you back out."

 

[Negrek]

"Yeah. Appreciate that," Nate said. Rocky stood at his side, tail flicking now and again. The familiar was probably picking up on Nate's nerves. Not that he was nervous or nothing. So they were going to be visiting nightmare hell, so what? Practically the entire team had at this point, and they'd handled it fine. They'd kicked the mewtwo's ass plenty of times before; nothing to worry about there. And if anybody else wanted to show up and cause trouble... Well, Nate wasn't scared. He was prepared. He'd kick that guy's ass, too, if he needed to.

Whatever. They had shit to do. Nate scowled and wrenched his thoughts back to the present. "What's the mewtwo up to now? Are you gonna drop us right near him, or will we have to track him down?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Understood, Chief," said Brisa, quietly. "I'll be ready."

She was still tired, but she could tolerate the fatigue. And she'd rested as best she could. And most importantly, she wasn't alone. Even if she had barely spent time with Nate or Red. Yet.

"Is kickin' his teeth in an option? Serious question."

It worked more often than not, judging by their track record.

 

[Ambyssin]

“I’m not so sure it’s a wise idea to go in attacks blazing,” Bahamut said. “What if we harm Dark Matter from the inside with radiance?”

 

[Namohysip]

"I will be sending you to a location near him," said Diyem. "The plan will be to subdue him and try to break through when he is no longer attacking. As of now, he is only wandering, and occasionally terrorizing my Void Shadows, but none of it is anything they cannot handle or evade."

"We have to try to reach out to him," Owen said, "but we can't do that if he's attacking constantly. Is that it?"

"Yes. But I should also note... you currently outclass him by a lot. He has not gotten much stronger since you'd last encountered him. In fact, the more he is inside my domain, the more I am certain he was not the true mastermind after all... or perhaps he was only being directly controlled by it."

 

[Ambyssin]

Bahamut rubbed his forehead with a wing, groaning. "This is developing more layers than an onion patch."

 

[Negrek]

"Well, yeah. He's got one of those parasite things in him, don't he?" Nate said. "So we go in, rough him up until he can't cause trouble, then send in the big guns to try and reach the mewtwo." Nate inclined his head towards Red. "Get him to kick out the people possessing him. Straightforward enough, right?"

It wasn't going to be straightforward, was it? Goddammit.

 

[Ambyssin]

"I would expect to improvise." Bahamut curled and uncurled his wings.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Brisa rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck

"Well, what're we waitin' fer?"

 

[Namohysip]

"Me to conjure my attack," Diyem reported, and then held up his claws. "We are ready... Stand still. I will be sending you all in at once. Is everyone prepared?"

And once he got an affirmative from everyone set, he blasted forward, and the team before him became nothing but stone.

---

Blotchy, purple skies filled their vision from above... This was the Voidlands alright. Owen sighed, looking left and right. Mewtwo was ahead, drifting seemingly aimlessly, perhaps a lull in the combat...

"There he is," Owen whispered, tensing. "How do we...?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

A hot shiver went down Brisa's back. Even knowing they outclassed Mewtwo compared to their last combat encounter with him, the mere presence of one of his species, of an ominous, hostile, alien presence, of a malicious Dark Matter entity... Yeah. That weren't exactly a delight. But she could handle it.

"We could try t'get his attention," Brisa mused. "Ya got shit y'wanna say t'him? Was thinkin' I'd wing it, myself."