Rocky Road ~ House of Brisa, Dave, Koa, and Owen

[Dragonfree]

"I never said everything's bad. Doesn't mean I'm going to pretend everything's sunshine and rainbows, either. Maybe, on balance, there's just a lot that fucking sucks, and you can't just shrug and go it's fine because the food is good, or whatever the fuck."

 

[Namohysip]

Owen nodded, and while it seemed like he was listening, it also seemed that he was intentionally trying to not push anything. "What are some things you're happy about?" he asked.

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave sighed. What was the point of this exactly? Should he indulge him? Whatever.

"Well, Mia's going to stay here and I'm sure she'll have a whale of a time. Everyone's raring to fight, nobody's going to get hurt when she does, she's basically immortal. Sure going to be better off here than the original Mia ever was back home." He clenched his jaw again, thinking. "Soda's doing better. That's something. Still feels responsible for everything the parasite made him do but at least he's making plans to move on. He'll be fine." Pause. "Maybe visiting Brisa's useless fucking dad at Spirits' Edge will mean he actually goes back to find her and get her help and maybe he has the grace to not root through her brain in the process, miracle of miracles. Maybe he'll be slightly less of a fucking dickweed. Won't be holding my breath but there's a sliver of a chance."

He exhaled through his nose. "Cibus'll be fine. That's something. Saved a universe. Saved Diyem's girlfriend. Saved Pop. Saved Sword. Saved fucking everyone, except the thousands of people dead or displaced in the floods but they're an anonymous fucking statistic, aren't they. Hooray for us."

 

[Namohysip]

"There you go again," Owen hummed, smiling sadly. "We didn't save everyone. And it's okay to mourn that... but I don't think they would want us to stay to that forever, when we also saved so much. And even though you listed all those things that we saved... you really don't sound very happy about any of it. Do you think that's a problem, or is that how you want it to be?"

 

[Dragonfree]

"Well, I didn't exactly fucking decide a bunch of people should die. It's not how I want it to be but it's how it fucking is. You want me to just pretend that part didn't happen? Christ."

Something cold and wet touched his shoulder and he jerked away, only to find it’d been Shadow’s nose. The other Mightyena laid his head flat on the bed beside him with a heavy sigh. “I don’t think I know how to be happy.”

Dave groaned, pulling a pillow over his face. “What is this, another fucking therapy session? Because I’m not happy enough?”

 

[Namohysip]

"Ah, sorry." Owen looked away at that, nodding. "I'll lay off... Didn't think I'd get that into it. Just... a lot of people like you here, and they're probably a little worried about you, too. I think... I get what you mean. Not knowing how to be happy. Not knowing how to... do something that's so basic to everyone else."

"I won't press it," he finished. "But I guess if you want my perspective, if it'll be any help... it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. If something is wrong, that doesn't mean you can't be happy about things that are right. You aren't disrespecting them by being happy now and then... and I don't think they'd want you to be, either, over them. Or, well, in Mia's case, she'd probably wonder why you're still upset after all that time, but... that's how Mia is, huh?"

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave pressed his face into the pillow. "Oh my God. Being happy isn't a fucking skill. What insane parallel universe did I wake up in this morning? Sorry, you just never figured out how to press the fucking Happy Switch like the other kids? Jesus Christ."

Shadow looked up at Owen, slowly. "I'm happier when I'm not really thinking about it," he said. "Talking about something interesting with Mia, or Soda, or Brisa. Taking Jean out to the movies. Working on research."

Dave sighed in frustration, started to open his mouth to object, but for once there wasn't much to object to. "Yeah. Okay. Sure. Let's go with that."

 

[Namohysip]

"I think I get that," Owen said. "I guess in a way, we both overthink a little, huh? That's kinda why sometimes I like to... stop thinking and go feral for a little while. Rip up some Substitutes. I'm happy when I do that. I guess human versions of that would be talking about random things, or m... movies, and stuff." His flame glowed. "That sounds nice, too."

 

[Dragonfree]

"Huh." Dave vaguely pushed the pillow off his face. "I get the Pokémon battle instincts and all, but I wouldn't say fighting makes me happier. Harder to think, but not in the good kind of way."

 

[Namohysip]

"Must be a human thing," Owen remarked. "Or maybe I just like thinking less when I can afford it. I don't really know if that's all that healthy, but, you know. Working that out with Wheat while I have the chance..."

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave snorted. "Right. What's that like?"

 

[Namohysip]

"Wheat?" Owen asked. "I go in his room, he nods at me and stands behind his desk and asks me maybe one or two questions. Then I start talking and, I dunno. I just start talking. It's really easy to talk in front of him, even before he starts his Psychic aura." Owen looked up. "I feel like he doesn't really judge me for the things I say or think or, you know, any of that. And when I was suspected of being some kind of spy for Giovanni... He was apparently already halfway through submitting testimony to defend me before Vix cleared my name, or something.

"Maybe he thought I would have been blamed because of how it all lined up... I don't know." Owen looked out the window. "Usually I hate when people try to manipulate me with Psychic power. But Wheat's... different. He's probably the first person I met who I can trust with that sort of thing." He laughed a little, then. "Guess he's not the best in his field for nothing."

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave raised a skeptical eyebrow. "To each his own. Personally having some psychic do some subtle shit to make me more talkative sounds like a fucking dystopian nightmare. Fugu's thing is batshit but at least it's honest."

 

[Namohysip]

"I guess." Owen shrugged, thinking. "I've been through enough psychic manipulation to recognize the good kind." He thought about it. "I think I'm just more talkative in general, though... I didn't feel Wheat's manipulation to make me more talkative... I don't think therapy would work as well if he forces it. You know, in the long term."

He sighed. "I guess I can appreciate your caution, though. Maybe if I was more like you, I wouldn't have let as many people take advantage of me back home."

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave turned his head toward Owen, looking at him for a moment. Christ. "Well, you deserve better than all these shitty people manipulating you, and the fact you're going back to that is fucked up, and as far as I'm concerned you have every right to not be happy about it."

 

[Namohysip]

That earned a little laugh and Owen glanced at Dave. "And what good will that do me?" he asked, tilting his head. "There's nothing I can do about it here by being unhappy about it. Right now, I've been focusing on meditating and planning out little things I could remind myself of. If it's a total memory wipe... fine. But if that's the case, why worry? And if there's something I can do about it... then moping around won't do me any good. I can be happy and dutiful at the same time."

"...I'm not happy about it," Owen said to Dave. "I'm definitely not. I wish I could stay in Cibus longer, if it meant I could get help back home. But... I'm not going to let that ruin the time I have left. My time with Cal, my time with all of you guys... I don't want you guys to remember me as the guy who was afraid to go back. I want to be remembered here as the one who helped everyone return home safe. The one who didn't waver, who fought to his best, and still knew to smile when it was over."

 

[Dragonfree]

"Since when did being unhappy have to accomplish something? What, if you're being oppressed by whatever higher powers and can't stop them you're just going to sit there and take it and act like nothing's wrong? Fuck that."

Dave looked back at the ceiling and took a breath. "Being remembered as the guy who smiled and did his best and never faltered and helped everyone is all well and good, but by the time you're being remembered, who even fucking cares anymore? You're gone. You'll never even know how they remember you. It's all void."

 

[Namohysip]

Owen frowned. "Well, that's a selfish way to look at things," he commented with just a hint of pointedness. "I won't be around, so why should I care how others remember me? That's the same attitude as people who make short-term decisions for the world when they won't be alive for the long-term consequences... or people who litter in the dark because someone else will clean it up in the morning."

He huffed. "And I don't do nothing about it. I'll always be looking for opportunities that come up later. But there's a balance to it. You... really like to think in extremes, when it comes to happiness, don't you?" Owen glanced at Dave directly, now. "Like if one thing is plaguing you, then it's a disservice to be happy at all. That's how it sounds, when you talk like this."

 

[Dragonfree]

“Seems pretty selfish to me to care how you’re remembered in the first place. So long as you did the right thing, who cares who’s left thinking what about you. Most of the time people’d prefer if you shut up and smile and don’t call them out on their bullshit and don’t rock any boats. Everyone’ll remember you fondly if you’re a fucking doormat. Doesn’t mean that’s what you should do.”

 

[Namohysip]

"There you go again with the extremes," Owen replied coolly. "Either you're doing the right thing or you're an unhappy doormat. Like there isn't something in between." Owen tilted his head left, then right, slowly, as he spoke with his eyes closed. "All right, Dave. What should I do?"

And then, after a brief pause, he added two more questions, and these ones felt weightier, like Owen was asking this to know, but also wondering if Dave knew the answer. "What should you do? And... huh. How do you think you'll be remembered?"