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Pokémon Rocket



Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Author's notes: This is the first chapter of a story that Is very important to me as a writer, and I've wanted to post it for a while. I'm going to update it when I can, so stay tuned.


“...Hello there!”
I woke up standing in a white void. A man with gray hair, and thick black eyebrows stands before me. I jump back slightly, but the man seems indifferent. He has a blank expression on his face. I tried to say something, but he just kept speaking

“Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Oak! People call me the Pokémon Professor!”

That was when I recognized him. The now dead Samuel Oak, former champion of Kanto. I stood up and brushed myself off.

“Yeah sir, I uh, I know you, you’re-”

“This world is inhabited by strange creatures known as Pokémon!” Oak continued, cutting me off.

“I know? I'm sixteen years old? This is commo-” I tried to reason with the dead Pokémon Professor once again cut me off.

“For some people, Pokémon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself, I study Pokémon as a profession.”

“Once again, common knowledge.” I said. I grew up in Galar. We moved to Johto when I was eight. I understood the fundamentals of how this world worked.

“Well, that’s enough out of me. Are you a boy, or a girl?” Oak asked. I looked at him very confused.

“I- what? Sir, are you okay?” I asked. “Well, I guess not, because you’re dead.” Samuel Oak had been dead a total of two years. It was a great tragedy to a lot of the adults around, his death being pinned on a freak accident caused by one of his experiments. Champions from all over came to mourn his death, people like Red, Lance, and even Leon came to mourn the loss of the great man.

“Are you a boy, or a girl?” He asked again. His eyes were blank, almost devoid of emotion.

“I’m a boy, sir.” I answered. “Though I still don’t fully understa-”

“And your name?” Oak interrupted for the third time. I decided not to fight him anymore.

“Erick.” I answered.

“Well Erick, Your Pokémon journey is about to begin! Get ready to step out into the world of-”

“No.” This time, I cut Oak off. He stared at me for a second, like something in his brain had shifted. He looked confused.

“What?” He asked.

“I’m not going to be a Pokémon trainer.” I responded defiantly.

“Have it your way.” Oak scoffed, his face twisting into a sinister smile. “Keep making no money. Keep shutting yourself in. Continue to have no friends, no life.”

“I-” I didn't know what to say.

“You can just keep spending your life inside, playing ‘Animals: Salt and Pepper’ on your old used DS.”

“How do you know about that?” I asked. “How do you know about me?”

“Because, Erick, you are destined for great things.” Oak responded. He let out a laugh that shocked me to my core. I started breathing heavily. My heartbeat in my rib cage felt like the stomps of a camerupt over and over again in my chest. “Goodbye now” Oak waved. I started to fall.

I fell faster and faster, my heart pounding more and more. The stomp's rhythm picking up, sounding like the beat of a drum. Oak was gone, it was white all around me, wind rushed past my ears as I fell and then…

I jolted awake.

My whole body was in a cold sweat. I looked over and saw Chex, my Farfetch’d, was clutching on to his over-sized leek, fast asleep. I sighed softly, and flopped back onto my pillow. Posters all around me of Pokemon contest stars and champions lined my walls. My mom had put them up as an attempt to get me to leave. To go out with Chex and start my pokemon journey. But I wasn’t going to do that. The only way I would give up on my goal of becoming the best chef in the world, like no chef ever was, was some divine intervention, Like someone coming back from the dead or-

That wasn't real.
That was just a dream.
Last edited:
chapter 1


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 1:

Content warning: Cursing, minor sexism, and adult beverages being consumed by adults.

I walked down the stairs to the living room of my home. My mom was waiting at the table. Her messy frazzled blonde hair matched mine, as we both tended not to brush it as often as we should. Her Falinks were all over the place, its six bodies cleaning various parts of the room, or just chilling.

“Good morning Erick.” She said, There was a tone of voice that I couldn’t quite place about her. For now, I ignored it, walking to the kitchen and starting up the stove.

“Morning mom. Want anything specific in your omelet today?” I asked. I’d been making her breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever since I was a boy. I found out cooking was my passion, and Chex and I had been working on becoming professional cooks ever since.

“The usual is fine.” She said, There was something almost fake about the way she spoke. I heard her make her way upstairs as I began to crack some eggs in the pan.

“Chex, would you grab the moomoo milk from the fridge?” I asked. The farfetch’d did so as I whisked some peppers into the pan. Chex threw me the milk, which I caught without even thinking about it. I was in the zone, my arms moving into autopilot. Soon enough, breakfast was ready.

“Before we give some to mom, here you are Chex.” I handed him an omelet of his own. He smiled at me, setting his large leek to the side and starting to eat. I walked into the living room with my own plate and my mom’s. “Mom! Breakfast!”

Mom walked down the stairs holding…

Was that my bag?

“Thank you, sweetie. Please take a seat. We have something to talk about.”

“Mom I- What is this?” I asked, a little frantic “Mom I-”

“Sit. Your ass. Down.” Mom said firmly. I sat, and gave her the omelet I made for her and sat. “Erick, It’s been six years since you turned ten, and you still haven't left. You haven't gone on your pokemon journey.”

“Because I don’t want to!” I repeated, exasperated. “Not everyone needs to leave the house when their ten! I don’t even want to be a trainer! I want to be a chef! Like dad!”

“Don’t you dare speak about your father!” My mom yelled. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Your father was no man to look up to.”

“I just-” I searched for the right words in my head. “I just love cooking. I don’t want to go out and fight random kids on the side of the street. I don’t want to leave home before I’m an adult! And I don’t want to make Chex fight!”

“That Farfetch’d of yours is a fighting type.” My mom scoffed, joking in a way. She then shifted into a more serious tone. “I’ve let you loaf around this house for six years more than I should. Erick, you need to go out on your own. Professor Elm is starting a new program today, giving partner pokemon to kids who are delinquents. Who haven't left home yet. Kids like you-”

“I am not a delinquent!” I shouted. Chex Growled slightly. “And I already have a partner. Caught him with dad when I was seven.”

I immediately realized I had gone too far. Mom looked at me, shocked. Her face white.

“Get out.”

“What? Mom I didn’t mean it I-”

“Go to Elm’s. Get another partner. Then we can talk.” She said under her breath. It was more of a whisper.


I arrived at Professor Elm's Lab to see two other kids about my age. One was a girl with short red hair and freckles all over. She was fidgeting with the sleeve of her letterman jacket. She seemed very nervous. The other kid was wearing a clean light orange button up shirt. They were looking at themself in the camera of their phone, combing their hair. They turned to me, and smirked a bit.
“You here for the J.A.D.E. Program?” They asked.

“The- The what?”

They rolled their eyes at me. “The ‘Johto Advancement of Delinquents Education’ program.”

“I guess.” I sighed. Chex leaned his head against me.

“Interesting Farfetch’d you got there.” The Kid said. “You must be from Galar.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m uh, Erick by the way. This is Chex.” Chex made a nod of approval.

“Shank.” They smiled back, shaking my hand. I almost laughed at the absolute ridiculousness of their name. “So are you here just for not leaving the house, or something more… Interesting? I mean, you have a partner already, yet you’re in this program, so what is it?”

“I didn’t leave. I don’t ever want to if I’m being honest I just didn’t want to upset my mo-” I was cut off by a shriek. Chex was staring a little confused at the ginger girl, who looked mortified. Chex seemed to shrug and walk back to me, and Shank laughed.

“Sorry Malls!” They smiled. “Molly over there is here because she wouldn’t leave home either. She’s afraid of Pokemon.”

“And you?” I asked “Why are you here?”

“Cybercrimes.” Shank laughed slightly. “I kept trying to buy shiny pokemon on the black market.”

“You can just… Do that?” I was a little taken aback.

“Yeah.” Shank said, absentmindedly. “But that’s the least interesting thing about me! I collect premier balls, I’m an Iono superfan, and one time, I met the Marnie in person.”

“Marnie?” I asked. “The one from Spikemuth?”

“Hell yeah dude.” Shank grinned

“I’m from Spikemuth too!” I smiled.

“Uh, so uh, Guys…” Molly stuttered, interrupting us. “Should we, uh, g- go inside?”

“I suppose.” Shank huffed. They were about to open the door when a group of three kids burst out on their own. They looked about ten, and they were holding a Cyndaquil, Chikorita, and Totodile respectively. I watched them walk away, and struggled to hold back my expression of annoyance.

“D- Don’t like watching other kids get to go on their adventures, huh?” Molly said quietly. “I can uh, relate.”

“Something like that” I sighed.

We walked into the lab as elm was crouched over something. He was clearly working hard, piercing something together that I just couldn’t quite see.

“Mister uh, Elm?” Shanks laughed awkwardly. Elm groaned without even looking up.

“Intern!” He yelled. A girl who couldn’t have been older than seventeen with dark skin and a large mess of curly black hair on her head, as well as a golden geodude with black rocks poking from it floating right behind her ran in.

“Yes sir?” She asked hurriedly. Her demeanor was very anxious.

“Make yourself useful and show the charity cases over to the Workroom B for me. I have my important meeting in Workroom A.” He slurred. I noticed a few empty bottles of ‘Budew lite’ around his workspace. “After that, you can get me another beer. Oh, and remember, you’re prettier when you smile.”

“Of course sir” She said, smiling, and then she led us over to a side room with light blue wallpaper. The second we were out of Elm’s view, she started to mutter all kinds of profanities about him. She left us alone in the room, and we stared at each other for a moment.

“That was certainly something that just happened.” Shanks laughed slightly. He glanced over to the table in the center of the workroom. “Oh look! These must be the pokemon Elm’s going to let us use!”

We all glanced over with a mixture of nervousness, excitement, and dread as we saw three labels in front of the premier balls, which were sitting in an open briefcase.

“Iron… Bundle? Iron Hands? Iron Valiant?” Shank read. “What are these things?

“No clue.” I said.

“Maybe it’s a nickname?” Molly suggested. I sighed.

“Well, I have literally no clue what they mean, but who wants what?” Shank grinned. I appreciated their energy if nothing else.

“I suppose I’ll take bundle.” Molly said. I was surprised to see her choose first, as she was most definitely afraid.

“Well, I’m curious about ‘Iron hands’, so that leaves you with ‘Valiant’” Shank grinned. I sighed and looked over to Chex, who did a ‘thumbs up’ best he could with his free wing. I shrugged and picked up the ball. The second I did, I felt a deep understanding in my chest. Whatever was in this pokeball was afraid. It was angry.

But more than anything, it was alone.

Suddenly a loud shout could be heard from outside the room. “You scatterbrained good for nothing woman!” Elm shrieked. “You’ve embarrassed me in front of a client! Get those losers out of there, now!”

“O- Oh. Should we put these back then?” Molly asked. “Sounds like they aren't ours.”

“Hand them to me, I remember what order they were in!” Shank said hurriedly. “Quick!”

Just as we did, Elm’s intern burst in through the door. “This is coming out of your paycheck!” Elm was screeching.

“Please, come with me.” The intern said. We followed her out of the room. She seemed to not notice the pokeballs on the table had even been tampered with. I sighed in relief, and we swapped Workrooms to Workroom B. along the way we passed an older man wearing a suit. There was some sort of red emblem on his breast pocket, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Now, I’m going to seal the deal with my client in there, and you are going to show these shitstains that I care about the community, so the government will get off my ass about the starter pokemon, and if you fuck up one more thing today, I’m going to make it known to every seaport in Johto that you are never to leave this country. Do I make myself clear?” Elm seethed, practically spitting all over his poor intern. She stared defiantly back at him.

“Crystal.” She said. Elm left to go meet with his other client, and the intern sighed. Her geodude gave her a hug, and she turned to us three. “Hello J.A.D.E. Program.”

“What’s good?” Shank grinned. Their feet were on the table as they had made themselves comfortable. “He seems like a joy to work for, by the way.”

The intern smiled softly at the sarcasm. “My name is Shannon Dawson. I used to be a trainer, but my dream in life is to study regional forms. This is my partner, Nugget. She’s a geodude from Alola.”

“Is she shiny?” Shank asked.

“No shit, sherlock. Back off by the way, I know exactly why each of you is here.” She nodded to Nugget, who clicked a button, beginning a powerpoint. “Welcome, you three, to the first batch of the J.A.D.E. program. You three are the kinds of kids that would be targeted by the likes of team rocket to join their ranks.” She flashed to the next slide, showing a photo of Shank’s face. It was a picture of them flipping off the camera next to several women in bikinis, a pile of money, several masterballs, and five bikes scattered around the room “You’re Rambunctious.”

“I spent a whole afternoon photoshopping that.” Shank whispered, winking at me.

Shannon flicked it to the next slide, this time it was Molly’s picture, a school picture from a year ago. Her smile made her look like she was under an active threat “Unsure.”

Finally, it switched to my own face. A picture of me and Chex cuddling under a heap of blankets I’d taken for Instagranbull. “And most of all, Lazy.” She changed to the next slide, with three question marks. “You haven’t left the house to go out on your own pokemon journey. You haven’t applied to Elm’s office to get a starter of your own. Luckily, your parents did that for you.” She flipped to the next slide, it was a picture of champion lance. “Lance has issued this program as a way to prevent crime in Johto, requiring each professor to patron three older kids into their own journey. As such, you three will be given starter pokemon, Running shoes, and the older model of pokedex.”

Shank sighed. “Cool. Great. I’ll take Cyndaquil then.”

“Not so fast.” Shannon smiled weakly. “The government didn’t exactly fund us well enough to breed you fresh starters, so you three are getting some of Elm’s old research pokemon he no longer needs.”

“So we get trash?” Shank asked, annoyed. I sighed and Chex let out a grunt. Molly seemed a little relieved.

“No pokemon is trash.” Shannon snapped. Molly jumped out of fear. “Journeys are not about being the strongest. They are about following a dream. Any pokemon can be strong if you train with it enough.”

“W- What are the starters then?” Molly asked. Shannon looked at her and smiled a bit.

“Sorry for snapping, I’m just having a hard day.” Shannon said. “Your first starter option is from Galar, She was used to help Elm collect data on the eating habits of pokemon, and is known for eating the occasional tin can.” Shannon laughed, tossing out a pokeball containing a cramorant with a few gray feathers. It looked up at us and squawked, before sitting down contently.

“Next, we have a fiery little boy, he helped Professor Elm research evolution methods! He’s known for being a bit stubborn around the office, but he’s very food motivated.” She said, releasing a small Salandit who looked up at us curiously.

“Finally, we have a pokemon that was used to test resistance to heat. Turns out that sunlight and fire are two very different things!” She released a Maractus, who immediately tried to pet the salandit, before he burned her. “She really likes fire types.”

“So to recap,” Shank said. “We have a really old bird who eats trash, a Salandit who can’t evolve, and a Maractus who loves the one thing that kills it?”

“Yup” Shannon smiled. “But each of them is in their own right a fantastic partner, and I’m sure would be a great edition to any team if you gave them a shot.”
I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that Chex had gone over and started playing with the Salandit. I chuckled to myself slightly. “I guess I’m taking the little guy.” I smiled. Shannon looked down and saw the two playing and smiled.

“Very good! You gonna nickname him?” She asked. I looked down at him and he and Chex looked at me. I stared into his purple eyes, and smiled.

“Pepper.” I decided. “His name is Pepper.” Pepper smiled and came up to me, nuzzling his head into my foot. I hadn’t wanted to get a new partner, but the little guy was just so cute, and he and Chex got along. It was better than nothing.

“You really did choose the worst option there bud.” Shank smiled. “I’ll take the Cramorant, whom I will affectionately nickname Crammy.”

The Cramorant jumped up and into Shank’s lap. “Hi Crammy,” He said. I let out another laugh at the absurdness of Shank’s naming skills. They smirked at me. “Don’t judge me.”

“I- uh.” Molly was shaking slightly. The Maractus slid up to her and put out one hand. Molly timidly shook it.

“Would you like to name her?” Shannon asked.

“Pricilla.” Molly said. Pricilla did a little dance of approval.

“Well then, you three are ready.” Shannon smiled.

“Yeah! And you can stop talking to us like you’re more than a year older than us!” Shanks responded with mock enthusiasm.

“Stop harassing her, she probably gets that enough from Elm.” I smirked. She laughed slightly

“No, it’s quite alright.” Shannon laughed. “I get it. I am only seventeen. Just saving money to move to Alola to study regional forms down there permanently.”

“H- Hopefully the professor up there is nicer.” Molly laughed slightly.

“That’s the dream.” Shannon said. She grabbed a box for each of us, containing an old ‘Oak edition’ pokedex and a pair of running shoes. We thanked her, and left the room. Just as we were leaving, I saw Elm’s client leaving with the same briefcase that was holding those premiere balls from earlier. We thanked Shannon and exited the lab as well.

“I wonder what was in those Premiere balls.” I said as we walked down a sidewalk on our way home.

“Won’t have to wonder much longer.” Shank smirked. They reached into their pocket and pulled out three premiere balls…
Chapter 2


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 2

I sat in my room, watching Chex and Pepper play fight with each other. I sighed as they tore open a pillow, covering the ground with feathers and fluff. Pepper was chewing on a piece of fluff. Chex gently replaced it with his leek, which Pepper happily gnawed on. I sighed contently, as my gaze shifted to my desk.

Sitting there was that premiere ball. ‘Iron Valiant.’

I had made Shank and Molly promise not to open them until tomorrow. Shank was disappointed, but they accepted begrudgingly. Molly was just happy we were doing this together. I was angry that they were stolen, but something in my heart made me distrust the man that was supposed to take them, but still, the theft was wrong.

“Think about it this way.” A voice said. I nearly fell out of my seat, looking over to my window. Standing on my roof with a goofy grin on their face was Shank. Sitting next to them was Crammy, who ruffled her feathers and sat down. “We saved them from wherever Elm was going to send them.”

“Shank!” I said, dumbfounded.

“Yes, Me Shank. You Erick.” they mocked. “Now, may I come in?”

“I- uh- yeah.” I said, they slid in. Shank was wearing a completely different outfit. This time, they were wearing a graphic T-shirt with tight jeans and a blazer over it. I looked down at my own clothes. The same ratty brown sweatshirt and baggy jeans as I was wearing earlier. I frowned at my own clothes.

“So, prettyboy, what’s up with not being able to open the premiere balls yet?” Shank asked, grining.

“You know why.” I said. “We- no, you, stole them! You stole pokemon!”

“‘Stole’ is such a nasty word.” Shank smiled. “Let’s say, permanently borrowed.”

“Whatever.” I sighed. “It wasn’t our thing to do. I don’t even know how you got them out without someone noticing!”

“Easy, swapped them for empty premiere balls.” Shank smiled, “Not seeing the big deal here.”

“The big deal?” I was angry now. “The big deal is, Shank, that we’ve stolen pokemon from someone who might need them! What happens when they find out? What happens when we can’t train them? You’ve made Molly and I accomplices to a crime!” I yelled.

“Erick! Why are you shouting?” I heard my mom’s voice from downstairs. I then heard footsteps on their way up. Shank slid under my bed as fast as they could, and I pulled out my phone. Mom opened the door.

“Hey mom, I’m on a call, with uh, a friend.” I said.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware you had friends.” my mom joked. I laughed awkwardly.

“Well you know, we’re talking about when we leave for our journeys tomorrow.”

Mom put her hand on my shoulder. “Seriously though Erick, I’m proud of you. Thank you for thinking about your future and becoming something besides a chef. I’m proud of you.”

“I- uh” I was obviously offended about how little everyone thought of my dream. “I mean, uh, me too! I’m going to go on my journey. But also consider that like, Cook is a valid career, because everyone needs to eat, yknow?”

“But you’re going to be a trainer, right?” My mom said, eyebrow raised.

“Y- Yeah, just uh, yknow, playing devil's advocate is all.” I bluffed. My mom sighed.

“As long as you’re not committing crimes, and you’ve left my house” Mom winked, and left my room.

“That was weird.” Shank said.

“Yeah well, I always thought so.” I said “I mean, my mom always tries to do what’s best for me but-”

“No no no” Shank responded “Being a cook. That’s weird. You don’t want to go out on your own adventure?”

“No.” I sighed. “It’s just, not for me.” I glanced down at Pepper and Chex, who were looking up at me.

“Weird.” Shank repeated. “But if it’s your thing, I respect it.”

“I-” I was too tired to fight. “Thank you.”

Shank looked at the floor and frowned slightly for the first time since I met them. They quickly corrected this, and looked back at me.

“Hey, I just came by to uh, check in, but Crammy and I are gonna head home.” Shank said. We looked at Crammy, who was gnawing on my roof absentmindedly. Shank pulled out their Premiere ball, ‘Iron Hands’, and looked at it, and then back to me. “Tomorrow, when we throw out these guys, you can uh, meet my other partner. Goopz.”

“I’d-” I thought about it. I wanted to be mean, but something inside me just couldn’t. “I’d love that.”

“Good, see you tomorrow.” Shank smirked, and they excited my widow with a wink.


It was a bitter autumn morning. We had gathered next to Molly’s house to release the dreaded white capsules. Molly looked nervous, and was still adjusting to having a pokemon partner. Shank was afitting a bow to Crammy’s head, smiling all the way. I was eating a homemade jelly donut. Shank walked up to me and smiled.

“So, you wanted to meet Goopz?” They smirked. I laughed uncomfortably.

“Sure, why not?” I sighed. Shank threw out a pokeball that held a ditto. But not any ditto.

A blue one.

“Goopz here was the only shiny I ever successfully bought.” They smiled. I looked at the ditto, who seemed dizzy, almost tired.

“He’s… Cute.” Molly said. I smiled at her.

“Pokemon growing on you?”

“More like I’m being forced to adapt.” She retorted. Shank giggled.

“So are we ready?” They held up their premiere ball.

“I- I guess.” Molly said. Pricilla hugged her leg.

“Let’s do it.” I said. I was scared, and as I held the ball, I felt the fear of whatever was inside.

“Let’s count down?” Molly suggested. We nodded.




“Wait!” Shank Interrupted. “On three, or after three?”

“What?” Molly asked.

“Like, do we throw the balls on the number three, or is it like One two three then we throw?” they explained. “Like ‘one two three’, or ‘one two three bam’”

“One two three bam” I rolled my eyes. “Molly, start over the countdown.”




We threw out the balls.

Standing in front of us were pokemon I had never seen before. It seemed like a delibird, a Hariyama, and either a gardevoir or a gallade.

“The hell?” Shank said.

I walked up to Iron valiant. It looked back at me with cold eyes.


It made a beeping sound in response.

“I’m Erick.” I said. “I… I think I’m your trainer now. Or something.”

Another beep. I took a step toward the robot. It took a step back, scared.

“I’m not going to hurt-” I took another step forward, and it narrowed its eyes at me and quicker than a flash, it drew a blade and pointed it at me.

“Okay Okay. My bad.” I took a step back. It looked at me, but did not move. “I’m not going to hurt you. It’s okay.”

Pepper walked up to him and pleased one clawed hand on its leg. It looked down, and went neutral. It then bent down, and reached out a finger toward Pepper. Pepper bit it affectionately, and I giggled.

“I think you’re stuck with me, though I have no idea what you even are.” I smiled a little.

The iron valiant beeped again. I called it back into its pokeball as it stared at me, and I got the feeling that it understood.

I looked around at Shank and Molly, who seemed to have had similar conversations with Bundle and Hands.

“What were they?” Shank asked, staring at the ball in their hands.

“No clue.” I said. “But I’m getting the feeling that it was good you took them. They feel lonely. Hurt.”

“Yeah.” Molly said “But at the very least, I’m glad that went well and all-”

She was cut off by the sound of an explosion in the direction of Elm's lab.
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Chapter 3


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 3:

The explosion was deafening. Without really thinking about it, Shank, Molly, and I just ran. Molly, away from the explosion, because obviously. Shank moved toward the explosion, once again because obviously. I followed Shank, because I had little else to do.

Pepper ran ahead and began to look around the corner just as a large boulder flew from the booming sound of another explosion. Pepper yelped and dodged out of the way quickly. Shank and I peaked around the corner to find Elm’s lab, covered in flame.

Outside were three men in black outfits with red “R”’s on them. Shank grimaced.

“Team rocket.” He mumbled. We could hear them yelling out taunts as the building continued to burn.

“That’s what you get for messing with the boss!” one yelled. He had pink hair and an arcanine in front of him.

“Yeah!” another said. She had longer brown hair and a zubat.

“Imagin’ tryna pull a fast one on Geovanni, and tellin’ him you gots three future paradox mons!” The third smiled. He had a pencil thin mustache and a tyranitar, as well as a whip in his hand.

“Paradox mons?” a voice whispered behind us.

“Helix Christ!” Shank jumped. We looked behind us to see Molly looking scared and confused. Her Iron Bundle and Meractus behind her.

“Probably what we stole?” Shank shrugged. “If I had to guess.”

“Please! I Had them! My lab!” Elm screamed out pathetically. “Shannon’s still in there!”

I looked closer to see that elm was right. Shannon was on the roof of the lab, batting away flames with a green looking grimer.

“Shank, we have to help her.”

“How?” Shank said. “Crammy and Goopz are way too underleveled for a fight like this!”

“Pricilla too.” Molly sighed. I grimiced, knowing the same to be true for Pepper and Chex.

“Then…” I thought long and hard. “We use the paradox mons.”

“No!” Shank said. “Then we’ll have rocket on our asses! I can't have that reputation! I’d be kicked out of the game corner for life!”

“You got us into this mess.” I reminded them “So you’ll help get us out.”

“Fine.” Shank sighed. “But only because I like you.”

“What’s the plan?” Molly asked.

“Well, it’s pretty simple….”


Ten minutes passed. Elm was sobbing. Time for Shannon was running out. The world was crumbling. The rocket grunts laughed and laughed. That’s when a large thwack was heard.

“What the?” one rocket grunt yelled. Her zubat had fainted. “Guys!”

The three turned around to find two galarian farfetch'd going to town on their pokemon.

“Heh. you dumb little idiots.” The one with the whip cried. His friend called his arcanine to flamethrower, which fainted one of the two, who turned back into its ditto form. As Goopz fainted, Chex cried out, Hitting the arcanine with his second critical hit. Suddenly Crammy, Pricilla, and Pepper dove in, continuing the fight.

While the grunts were distracted, the rest of the plan unfolded. From behind the burning lab, Three idiot teens and their stolen robot friends saved a very disheveled Shannon.

“Guys, I just-” She breathed out “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Our bad.” Shank smirked.

“Your.” Molly corrected. “Your bad.”

“Fine.” Shank sighed, readjusting their shirt.

“Whatever it is, we have to save your partners. These team rocket grunts are nothing to scoff at!” Shannon said.

I looked at iron valiant. They in turn nodded at me. They knew what needed to happen.

We ran out to a horrid scene. The rocket grunts had taken out every pokemon except for Pricilla and Chex, who seemed to be holding on for dear life. The tyranitar and arcanine were closing in. the giant green lizard lifted its foot to crush the poor pokemon as…

A large hand stopped it.

“Yes Homer!” Shank yelled out. I smiled to myself about the goofy name for such a powerful creature, but that seemed to be a shank standard, so I let it be.

“Iron Bundle, Use Icicle crash!” Molly yelled out, surprisingly confidently. I guess a few days worth of trauma can do that to a person.

“Valiant.” I commanded. “Stop the arcanine!”

“The paradox mons!” The rocket grunts yelled out as Iron bundle one shotted their tyranitar, and Iron valiant almost knocked out the arcanine.

“Sorry, Rockets.” I smiled slightly. Chex smacked the arcanine for the third critical hit this battle.

“No fair!"

“This is almost as rigged as my family game night!”

“We’ll get you next time!” The three ran away. “We’ll be watching!”

I turned around to my friends, who were healing their pokemon or celebrating, and smiled. I turned to Chex.

“Great job budd-”

But he was glowing.
Last edited:
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Chapter 4


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 4:

Some people would be overjoyed at an evolution this early into their (not) pokemon journey. I however was not. It could not have come at a worse time. Shannon, Shank, Molly and I were running as fast as our sore feet could take us forward and into the forest as our legs could take us. Most of our pokemon were down, and those that were not were giant robots that we hadn’t fully had time to communicate with, or in the middle of evolving into a sirfetch’d in my arms. If my life were some kind of subpar fanfiction or something, I’d probably scold the author for not waiting a few chapters about us getting to know the “paradox mons” as that grunt had called them. Or maybe more simply a few sentences. about how Sirfetch’d looked, or how Chex felt about its evolution. But that could wait.

We rounded the corner of a tree. The sweet smell of honey and berries filled my nostrils. Shank perked up.

“Do you hear that?” They smiled softly.

“Hear what?” Molly said. Her timid nature seemed to be returning to her at an alarming rate.

“Nothing.” Shank leaned on a tree. “I think we’re good. For now.”

“Is everyone okay?” Shannon asked. She seemed concerned. We all nodded. “Good. Now what the hell were you three thinking? Stealing Elm’s dealmakers!? Some of the money from that transaction was going to get me out of this region, which if I’m being quite honest is barely a region of its own!”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Shank rolled their eyes. “I didn’t mean to create a fuss! I just, when I picked up homer’s pokeball, he, he seemed-”

“Alone.” I finished for them. They nodded. Shannon sighed long and looked at the three of us solemnly.

“Sit down. Rest. Heal your pokemon. Tonight I’ll tell you what you’re caught up in, but for now, I need to take a walk.” and with that, she left.


Molly, who apparently is very good at pitching tents, was busy playing with a piece of wood. Shank was sitting in the tent, complaining that they ‘only brought thirteen outfits’ and that it ‘wasn’t near enough clothing to be going on a journey.’ Our pokemon were frolicking about, and even the paradox mons seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was playing on my old, beaten up 3DS, wondering how this could have happened to me. Two days ago I was hidden in my room, researching ways to cook a slowpoke tail. Now I was out in the wilderness with stolen pokemon, probably being chased by a gang of some kind.

At least, I suppose, my mom thought I was out on my journey, so she wasn’t worrying.

As if I’d go on a journey.

“So, uh, Erick? Shank?” Molly said softly. “Wh- What were you guys thinking of for, like, things to eat?”

“Oh!” I perked up slightly. “I actually have something for that in my bag!” I began to rummage around inside it. My mom had packed all sorts of stuff in here. A compact bike? A Pokeblock maker? A fishing rod? Who needed all this stuff? As my hand grabbed at my fishing rod to move it out of the way, a booming voice that I was slightly familiar with yelled aloud:

“Now’s not the time for that!”

I jumped back as the voice of Samuel oak tormented me once again. “Did anyone else hear that?”

“Hear what?” Shank asked.

“Nothing.” I said, looking back into my bag as I finally found what I was looking for. A large cooking set I had gotten for my birthday last year. “Found it! All I need now is some berries, and maybe a mushroom, and we can feast!”

“You got it boss!” Shank did a mock salute, before running off with most of the pokemon in order to find some ingredients. I poured some rice into the pot and put it over a campfire Molly had made. Chex hopped up on a rock and helped me make sure the rice didn’t burn or anything. I looked at Molly with a small smile.

“How come you know how to do all this camping stuff so well if you’re so scared of pokemon?” I asked.

“Well.” she smiled back. Pricilla leaned against her. “My father’s name is Winston. We’re from Hoenn, and the only pokemon I ever grew up around was his little zigzagoon. I never got the chance to meet any others. But I hated it there. In his mansion. So I ran away. Like, once a week. I’d learn survival skills, build tents, and prosper. But every time I would get far enough… It would show up.”

“I- what is ‘it’?” I asked.

“It was a Pokemon like none I’d ever seen before. A swirling mass of purple and green light that seemed to form a face with a devilish grin. It smiled at me and made me turn around. Every. Week.”

“That’s horrible.” I said sadly.

“Not even the worst part.” Molly sighed. “The worst part was my father telling me every night that I wasn’t good enough. That I-”

She was cut off by Shank coming back, covered in sticks with a stupid grin on their face, and a caterpie on their head. I looked apologetically at Molly, who shrugged.

“I have found your ingredients, master chef!” They called out. They handed me a bunch of berries and mushrooms, which I prepared best I could. “This, by the way, is Jangly boi.” They pointed at the caterpie on their head.

“To recap.” I teased, flabbergasted. “You have a ditto named Goopz, a Cramorant named Crammy, a Paradox form of Haryama named Homer, and a caterpie named Jangly Boi?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that” Shank defended themself. “Besides, you two didn’t even name your paradox mons!”

Molly and I glanced over at Iron Valiant and Iron bundle.

“I guess we haven’t.” Molly said.

“We could now?” I said. The robot looking pokemon tilted their heads. “I’m about done with this curry.” I handed the spoon off to chex. “Plate these for four, and spread the leftovers out for all the pokemon please.”

Chex nodded. As a Sirfetch’d, his comically buff limbs lifted the pot with ease. I looked up at Iron Valiant. They looked at me.

“What do you want to be called?” I asked. It beeped at me. I didn’t lose eye contact. After a pause, it held its hand out.

I reached out mine.

The second our fingers touched, I was hit with a burst of flashes. A cave with crystals. The champion of Paldea. A pair of train drivers. Chains. A dark room. A cattle prod. Pain. The same man that I had seen leaving Elm’s office. More Pain. Fear. My own face.

I jumped back, understanding.

“Valentine.” I responded. “Your name is Valentine.”

Pepper and Chex walked over to valentine, and gave it a hug. The robot looked confused, but appreciative. I smiled.

“Welcome to the team, Gale.” I heard Molly say.

“Bravo.” a voice, cold, smooth, and benevolent said. We turned around as fast as we could. Valentine drew their blade. Shank nodded at Goopz, who shifted themself into a doublade, Shank grabbing both of the swords and brandishing them. Chex, Crammy, Pepper, and Pricilla did their best to look intimidating too, as Homer and Gale stood defensively around Molly.

Out of the bushes in front of us, entered the three grunts from earlier, their pokemon seemingly healed, as well as a Persian, The man I saw exit Elm’s lab, and what looked to be a robotic version of volcorona, that was completely chrome. The man was holding a small knife to the throat of a woman who we immediately recognised as Shannon. Shannon was bound and gagged, and looked apologetically at us.

“Hello. My name is Giovanni.” the man smiled.
Chapter 5


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 5:

“Giovanni? As in Giovanni, leader of team rocket? Giovanni, as in international crime lord Giovanni?” Shank said. They looked at Molly and I, almost impressed. I swore I saw Shannon roll their eyes. Shank readjusted their grip on the swords that Goopz formed, but did not lower their stance. “I’m a fan.”

“Charmed.” Giovanni responded. He seemed genuine, but in a weird condescending and evil sort of way. “Carmen, Carol, Dave, would you three give my guests and I some privacy?”

“Yes sir!” the grunt with the pencil thin mustache. The three then walked off, Each glancing at us as they hurried off.

“I- Uh” Molly stuttered. “Aren't you in our campground? Making y- you the guest?”

Giovanni simply laughed. “Ah, but you three are in my region.”

Shank looked over at me and mouthed something along the lines of ‘Oh Em Gee’. They had changed into a red shirt with golden trim. I rolled my eyes at them.

“What do you three know about those things that you’ve stolen?” He pointed at the future paradox pokemon, who I now realized for the first time since Giovanni had entered our campground looked tense. Chex and the other pokemon were eating off to the side. They seemed unbothered by the threat.

“N- no sir. No we don’t.” Molly sighed “Shannon said she’d tell us when she got back from her walk.”

“Splendid, that means I’ll get to explain.” Giovanni smiled. He had a soft, condescending aura about him. In one swift motion he cut free Shannon’s gag. He then helped himself to a plate of curry that was supposed to be Shank’s. “Please. Sit. Join me. You know, I used to be like you three.”

I looked over at Shannon, who glared forward. Shank gave me a nudge and shrugged, grabbing what was supposed to be Shannon's plate and sat down. Molly and I followed suit. We all sat around the fire. Shannon was still at knifepoint as we ate. The air was tense. Our pokemon were looking, frightened at Giovanni. The robotic automatons that were just seconds ago finally warming up to us seemed most frightened of all. The iron bug staring them down.

“You know, this is actually quite good.” Giovanni remarked as he ate. “I’m assuming you made it, Erick?”

“How do you know my name?” I asked.

“All in good time, Erick.” Giovanni said. His persian growled softly.

“What is that pokemon?” Shank asked, pointing at his robotic volcorona.

“Ah, this is my iron moth.” he said, pointing at the mechanical insect. “She was the first of many. My reason for wanting these powerful, future versions of these magnificent creatures.”

“Wh- what’s a moth?” Molly asked.

“Don’t worry about it.” Giovanni chuckled.

“Okay.” Molly sighed. She looked almost as scared as I felt. Shank, however, looked in awe. Shannon looked tired, but over it. Giovanni finished his plate and set down his fork.

“You three have been quite the troublemakers. Originally, I was going to kill you.” Giovanni chuckled. “Would have been simple, really. But you three managed to actually befriend those god forsaken mechanical weapons, a feat that even elm couldn’t do. You got them to listen.”

Molly, Shank, and I apparently looked confused. He chuckled again.

“Sorry, you all must be lost. Let me simplify this explanation” the boss smiled. He patted his persian. “I have confidants in every region. When I was told about Lance’s silly J.A.D.E. program, I thought ‘this is too easy.’”

“How so?” I asked.

“I mean, he was practically bringing together every kid that would be interested in joining my empire.” he laughed. “It was marvelous. It would be my next masterful scheme. I set all my resources on researching you three. Until…”

“Until what?” Shank said. They were practically on the edge of their seat.

“Until my confidant from the paldea region found a kid with a donphan unlike anyone had seen before.” Giovanni smiled. “She called it ‘iron treads.’ It was beautiful. I quickly devised a research team to go out and find these future mechanical acclimations of pokemon. They found several. They were the perfect weapons. But three would not listen no matter what we tried. Finally, I sent them to professor elm. I was sure he could get them to listen. I offered him whatever he could want. Money, Budew lite, powerful research partners. The greedy bastard accepted, of course. By that point I had completely forgotten about the J.A.D.E. program-”

“Rude.” I snorted.

“But fair,” Shank nudged me. “Now shut up, he’s almost done!”

“Ahem.” Giovanni cleared his throat. “In any case, After you three ruffians had stolen what was rightfully mine…” he stood up, and walked over to Valentine. They stood dead still. He reached one hand out, and booped them condescendingly in where their nose would be. He chuckled slightly, and stared at the three paradox pokemon for a little longer than one would think normal. “Of course, at the time I didn’t know you three had stolen them. I thought elm had. So I had my minions… dispose of him and his pesky assistant. I would have succeeded had you three not stepped in. Unfortunately though, showing off your paradox pokemon allowed me to do research on you. The premiere balls you stole happen to have trackers in them, so finding you was doubly easy.”

“I see.” I said.

“What do you want with them? With me?” Shannon spoke for the first time since she’d been ungagged.

“With you?” Giovanni laughed. “I’ll dispose of you, but the other three, I’ve come to offer a deal. You’ve trained pokemon. It took me months to train in days. I see potential in you three.”

“Potential?” Shank asked. They were positively giddy.

“Yes, Shank. I’ve come to offer you three jobs. As grunts for team rocket.” Giovanni said.

“I-” I was taken aback. “Will we have time to think about it?”

“I’m not a monster.” Giovanni laughed. “You have an hour.”

“Will we get to keep Gale, Homer, and Valentine?” Shank asked

“I suppose. But only if you join me.”

“If we join, will you let Shannon go?” Molly asked.

“Of course Molly, of course.” he smiled. “You know, it was a very brave thing you did, signing up for J.A.D.E. on your own. Leaving your home in hoenn. Sleeping on the street for days. It was brave. Stupid, but brave.”

“Hey, stop!” I yelled. “Would you leave, and give us our hour now?”

“Sure. an hour.” Giovanni smiled. “Well, fifty seven minutes now.” He winked. He then walked into the forest, leaving with his persian, and letting iron moth watch us.


“So, we’re joining him, right?” Shank asked.

“I don’t know.” Molly said. “It’s creepy how much he knows about us.”

“We don’t have a choice.” Shank said. They very much obviously wanted to go with Giovanni.

“I’m with Molly on this one.” I said. “But what if he threatens our parents? Plus, he could take Homer, Gale, and Valentine.” I walked over to Val and put a hand on their shoulder. I then glanced to Chex and pepper, who tilted their heads and nodded solemnly. “We have to join him.”

“Fuckin’ great.” Shannon sighed. “Have fun commiting crimes. I’m just gonna go then.”
“Wait, we could help you get to alol-'' I started.

“No. you three are genuinely considering joining the largest organized crime group in the world. I’m done here.” She said, her geodude untied her ropes. She then pulled out a pokeball, summoning a Pidgeot. “Bye.” and with that, she flew away. I expected the Iron moth to do something, but its eyes seemed focused and unwavering at the three of us.

“Giovanni?” I called out.

“Yes?” a voice to my left said. Giovanni stepped out of the trees with Carmen, Carol, and Dave. “Made a decision?”

“If we join you, you have to promise not to hurt our loved ones.” I asked.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He smiled.

“Are we actually doing this?” Molly asked.

“Yes we are.” Shank said, more excited then I’d ever seen them before.

“Welcome to the team.” Giovanni grinned. He held out a hand.

That was when I heard it.

Pounding in my chest all over again. The stomps of a camerupt.

Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom

I reached out to shake his hand. The beating continued.


My vision started to tunnel. It was getting louder, almost rythmatic as blood rushed to my ears.


I shook his hand, and my vision went out.


“Erick!” Molly and Shank yelled out together. That was the last thing I heard before I was out cold. the only thing I remember is the beating of the drum.

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Chapter 6


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 6:

I woke up in the white void again. Professor Oak was staring out at seemingly nothing. “That was a choice. One I can't say I didn’t expect, but certainly one I hoped you wouldn’t make.”

“I-” I was dumbstruck. I sat alone on the floor of his void. “Who are you?”

“I told you once. I’m Samuel Oak. I am a pokemon proff-”

“Who are you really?” I asked.

“Samuel Oak.” he repeated, still staring off into space. His back to me.

“No, you can’t be.” I said. None of this made sense. None of it made any sense.

“Sure it can,” he smirked. “Anything’s possible.”

“Not this.”

“How can you know?”

“I- I guess I can’t” I was scared. Confused. “Why am I here?”

“You’ve been making some interesting choices, Erick.” Oak said, a frown beginning to form beneath his unfocused eyes.

“Well, what would you have me do?” I was angry now. “Put my mom in danger? Put myself in danger? You think I want this? I want to go home and cook! I want to keep Valentine safe!”

“Unfortunately Erick.” Oak said softly. “You don’t have that choice.”

“I-” I stopped “What?”

“You will never go back home, and you will never be able to be just a cook.”

“You’re not even real.”

“It’s your destiny! Your purp-”
“Y'know what?” I interrupted him “Destiny is a load of bullshit. I don’t want to do… whatever it is you want me to do.”

Oak just laughed.

“You’re funny Erick. I’ll give you that.”

“What even is this destiny of mine?”

Oak paused for a moment. “You, Erick, are destined to meet a god, and then…” He paused again. “And then fulfill your destiny”

“That was super vague.” I rolled my eyes. “But normally, chosen one stuff is. It’s such an overused piece of nonsen-”

“You are not the first.” Oak said, it was almost like something in him snapped.


“Every time a champion dies, we are replaced.”

“Who was the first?” I asked.

“His name was Volo.”

There was then a pause. Oak looked out into space.

“So, I ask again.” I sighed. “Who are you?”

“You’ll find out.” Oak sighed. “When this vessel died sixteen years ago, and the power was transferred to you, I saw every possible timeline that you’re in.”

“This is some Doctor Strange nonsense.”

"You were the most likely to succeed"

"Shove a sock in it."

Oak laughed again. “Goodbye, Erick. I’ll be watching.”

And then I woke up.
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Chapter 7:


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 7:

“Erick! Erick!” I awoke with a jolt to Shank shaking me. They were wearing a black jumpsuit with a red “R” embroidered on it. I looked down at myself, and I was wearing the same.

“Yeah? What happened?” I asked. Chex and Pepper ran up to me.

“We’re in the team rocket barracks now.” Molly sighed. “Because you accepted a stupid deal that got us stuck working for a criminal organization.” She glared at me.

“Woah woah woah.” Shank tried to reassure Molly, but from what I could tell, it seemed like they’d had this conversation before. “He was just doing what he had to, right?”

“Right.” Molly rolled her eyes. “Sorry Erick.”

“No no,” I sighed. “You’re right to be upset.”

“Erick.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“I-” I started, but Shank laughed uncomfortably, cutting me off.

“We should first worry about the fact that Giovanni’s already given us jobs!” Shank handed us each a paper. Molly’s read ‘healing station’, mine read ‘kitchen duty’, and Shank’s read ‘fieldwork’

“Cool, thanks.” Molly said, and she grabbed the paper and hurriedly exited. Shank looked over to me.

“Dude.” they said. “She’s mad. Really mad.”

“I-” I said. “I know. I am too, a little.”


“I-” I pulled out the premier ball that contained Valentine from my pocket. “I don’t know.”


Kitchen duty was nice. It was a distraction from the stress. Pepper, Chex and I were working on the one thing I could do without fucking up, and that was cooking. We stirred together pastas, cooked magikarp filets, and fried up some miltank burgers. The other people on cooking duty left me alone, and I could listen to music while I worked.

“Hey!” A voice said from the counter. I turned around to see a sweaty Shank smiling back at me. “Could I get the torchick nuggets and some applan juice?”

“Sure.” I said, and started to make the food. “How was the fieldwork.”

“Tiring.” Shank rolled their eyes. “I got the crap beaten out of me by some kid who’s rattata was in the ‘top percentage of rattatas’. Then I stole an ekans from a kid who wouldn’t shut up about shorts.”

“Sounds joyful.” I smiled sarcastically, handing them their order. “Have you heard from Molly yet? I want to talk to her about everything. I want to apologi-”

Suddenly, the loudspeaker sounded loudly. “Rocket grunts Erick Van, Shank DeVay, and Molly Rich, please report to Giovanni’s office at once. I Repeat, Rocket grunts Erick Van, Shank DeVay, and Molly Rich, please report to Giovanni’s office immediately. Thank you… LOSERS!”

“I feel like the losers was unnecessary.” I sighed. We made our way toward Giovanni’s office, passing grunts and admins alike, all whispering and giggling to each other. I ducked my head, while Shank did finger guns at some and smirked.


“Hey Molly.” I said as we stood outside Giovanni’s office.

She pretended not to notice. Giovanni ushered us inside. “Welcome, welcome.”

“What do you need, boss?” Shank asked. At the word ‘boss’, Molly scoffed.

“Nothing too big.” He said, petting his darling persian. “Just checking to see how you three are settling in.”
“Oh, quite well sir.” Shank smiled, trying desperately to mask the awkward energy Molly and I were exuding.

“Good. Good.” He smiled. “Just one quick request.”

“What?” Molly asked.

“Your paradox pokemon.” He laughed. “I’d like to take them for the ni-”

“Absolutely not.” Molly said.

“It's just to research. Nothing mo-”

“No.” I said, stepping up. I nodded at Molly, who rolled her eyes and glared at me.

“Very well.” Giovanni smiled.

“That’s it?” Shank said. “You're not going to take them by force?”

“I’m a mobster. Not a monster.” Giovanni chuckled once more. “If I wanted to steal them back, I would have done so already. Good work today. Go rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” He smirked. “Oh, and join me for breakfast tomorrow, would you?” he ushered us out. As the three of us walked back, Molly looked at me.

“I don’t need your help, Asshat.” She said, “We're not even friends.”

“I was doing that for Val, not for you.” I shot back.

“Guys can we cool it down a bit-” Shank asked.

“Oh, so you didn’t try to help me? You don't even care about me?” Molly pushed me.

“Maybe I don’t.” I said.

“That’s what I thought.” Molly said. “The only reason you hang out with us is because we’re the J.A.D.E. fuckups.”

“I- wait, that’s not-” I started, trying to take back what I said.

“You both don't even like me! You spend most of your time talking about how weak I am, or flirting with each other!” Molly yelled. “Making dumb decisions! You two got us entangled in a mob!”

“I-” I started.

“We-” Shank said.

“No.” Molly said. “I’m not a J.A.D.E. kid anymore. I’m a rocket grunt. We’re done.” she started to walk away

“Wait!” Shank called out. “I’m sorry!”

“We’re sorry.” I said.

“Too little, too late.” She said, “See you at breakfast tomorrow.”

As she left, Pricilla flipped us the middle finger best she could.
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Chapter 8


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 8:

“I just wish you guys would stop fighting.” Shank sighed. “It’s been four days!”

They were right. The four longest days of my life had passed through. Working, gambling, training, and weirdly a lot of yoga. Shank, Molly, and I were all growing tired of the criminal enterprise we found ourselves tangled in. Every time Molly and I crossed paths, it was awkward. I knew I should probably apologize, or get us out of here, or something. But something didn't feel right. My weird prophetic visions had all but disappeared, which was weird, and even worse, Valentine was mad at me too.

“Whatever,” I responded. “At least we’re not those two.” I pointed at a group of two rocket grunts and a meowth. They had blue and pink hair, and the meowth appeared to be able to talk. They were arguing about some ‘twerp’ they still couldn’t catch.

“But even when they're fighting, those three talk!” Shank protested. They were holding Jangely boi close, who was now a metapod. “You two just glare at each other.”

“I-” I sighed “doesn't matter. World still turns.”

“Fine then.” Shank rolled their eyes, “but I’m done being the middleman as it were.”

“Fine!” I gruffed back. “I don't need you either.”

“That was really aggressive for what I just said to you, but okay.” Shank said. “I’m gonna go talk to Molly.”


Stupid Shank.

Stupid Molly.

I don’t need them.

I don't need anyone.

That was my mantra going to bed tonight. And as I drifted to sleep, I heard something strange but also familiar.

It was like the drum rhythmically, but much softer. Almost like a bell, chiming.

Ring ting ring ting ring ting.

It was soothing, soft.

I woke up in a void made of black nothingness. A figure approached me. It Was inky and black and had silver flowing hair. It was everything and nothing. It was the single most terrifying thing I had ever seen in my life. It wasn’t human, but a pokemon, and I knew its name from the stories.


“Ge- Get back” I said, taking a step back “Go away! Begone demon!”

Darkari stared at me coldly, the world seemed to warp around it. It took another step and then…

“Shut up.”

“What?” I asked.

“Shut up.” Darkari repeated. “Stop acting like a pissy baby moron.”

“I’m…” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry?”

“When my master told me to watch over you, to give you visions and train you to fulfill your destiny and ste- i mean, uh, and do the thing you’re going to do, I wasn't warned you’d be such a prick.”

“Wow.” I was flabbergasted. “Okay, just wow.”

“Listen, sorry kid. You’ve just got, like, severe main character syndrome.” Darkari sighed. “It’s not that deep. Talk to your friends. Spend time with your pokemon. Hell, make new friends! But stop moping around like a fucking baby.”

“That was.” I was shocked. “Wait, do I have to now? Who do you even work for?”

Darkari rolled its eyes. “I work for ligma.”


“Ligma balls.” It said, laughing hysterically.

“That was extremely mature.” I sighed.

”live a little” It responded.

“So you’ve been the one giving me visions of Samuel Oak?”

“Yup.” Darkari said gleefully. “Just remember, kid. Stop being so serious. I’ll be around.”

“Wait! I still have a questio-”

And with that, I woke up.
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Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 9:

To recap the previous events of my life, my friends and strongest pokemon hate my guts, a criminal mob boss employed us against our wills, I’m destined to meet a god and do… something, and on top of all of that, another god who works for the one I’m supposed to meet, and is the literal manifestation of evil and nightmares and fear, made a ‘deez nuts’ joke before telling me to ‘stop being so serious’

So y’know, typical thursday.

I was in the cafe of rocket’s hideout, cooking. It’s what I normally did to relieve stress. A fuecoco stew on the pot, I leaned back against the wall.

“You always this moody?” someone asked.

“I-” I looked over to see a grunt with a mess of curly deep black and snow white hair on her head and dark skin cock an eyebrow at me. “I’m not moody. I was just thinking.”

“Sure.” she said. “What about?”

“I made some shitty choices.” I smiled slightly, “I lost some friends, and I’m trapped here.”

“In rocket hideout?” she laughed. “I know a secret back entrance. You could leave there.”

“Really, where?” I asked.

“I’ll show you for a price.” she smiled. “Go get your friends and apologize. I’ll meet you there at seven.”

“I- that sounds wonderful, but uh, what price?” I asked.

“Oh y'know, something small…” she leaned in and whispered the price in my ear.


Chex nudged me as I stared at the wall. I glanced over, and he made a noise, gesturing to the side. I looked where he had pointed, and sighed.

Standing there was Shank, Molly, and Valentine.

“Chex, buddy, did you really have to bring Val out of their poke-”

“Sirfetch’d” Chex squawked, unimpressed.

“Yeah, yeah, You’re right.” I sighed. “Thanks buddy.” Chex nodded. I turned to the three, and started with Shank on the left, and worked my way to the right. “Shank, I’m sorry for saying I don’t need you, and for being a stuck up dickwad.”

“Apology accepted, Prettyboy.” Shank smiled.

“Malls, I’m sorry for making you do… Well, any of this. I’m sorry for getting you wrapped up in way more than you signed up for. And I’m sorry for underestimating how tough you are.” I smiled weakly at her. “I’m glad you’re my friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Molly took a long moment waiting to respond. She looked at me, and looked to the left. She fiddled with her hair, and then glared at me. “You’ll be better moving forward?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Apology accepted.” she sighed. “You two are my friends as much as it pains me.”

“I’ll try not to take that as an insult,” Shank smirked. “So! The gang’s back together?”

“Not quite.” I turned to Valentine. “Val, I’m sorry too.”

Valentine made a whirring sound that felt like a huff, and turned their head away from me, avoiding eye contact.

“Val, I brought you back to the place where your worst memories happened. Hell, I brought you to a place where trauma for you skyrockets!”

“Good pun.” shank remarked, hand out for a fistbump.

“Not the time!” I said, turning back to valentine while simultaneously accepting the fist bump because Shank was right, it was a good pun, and I was tired. “Val, I’m truly sorry. You’re a part of my team. My family.” I gestured to Pepper and Chex. “They think so too.”

Valentine looked at me, and back to Chex, and to me again. It narrowed its eyes and stepped toward me. One step, two steps. It was right next to me. It looked down and…

Gave me a hug.

I smiled and hugged them back.

“This is super touching and all.” Shank said. “But the note Chex was carrying said you had a way for us to leave?”

“Oh yeah, this rocket grunt named Fira offered to let us out.” I smiled.

“For free?” Molly said skeptically.

“I- uh” I coughed. “Not for free.”

“What does she want?”

“Oh just 1000 pokedollars and…” I trailed off, blushing slightly.

“And?” Shank asked.

“And she wants to go out to dinner with me?” I said.

“She wants to get food with us?” Shank said almost immediately, choosing to ignore the last word of my sentence. “I’m down.”

“No Shank, I think Fira wants to take Erick out on a date.” Molly said bluntly.

“Like, romantically?” Shank asked. They blushed slightly at me and turned away.

I wonder what that was about.

“Yes, romantically.” I said. “Now let’s get out of here.”

I walked out the door to the bathroom to grab my toiletrys and start packing, but I couldn’t help but overhear Molly turn to Shank and say “It’s okay! It’s not even a real date! Don’t worry about it!”

And now, I was even more confused. Why would Shank care if I were on a date with somebody? I sighed.

Friendships are hard.
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Bonus art?


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
I was doodling today, and drew the three sillies, so I thought I’d throw them in here!


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Chapter 10


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 10:

“Hey.” Fira smiled as the three of us made our way to the meeting location in the computer room. “Glad you’re onboard, Erick.”

“Ahem.” Shank cleared their throat.

“And friends!” Fira smiled. They threw their hands up in mock-surrender. “Are you two Molly and, what was it, Dagger? Knife?”

“Shank.” Shank and Molly said at the same time. There’s this weird coldness in the air that I can’t quite place, and a pause.

“Cool your pants you two.” Fira winked.

“So…” I say. “Are we leaving? Or?”

“Sure, Sunshine.” Fira winked. I blushed slightly, very much not used to this kind of attention. Shank rolled their eyes. Fira whistled, and a Kantonian farfetch’d walked in the room, at the end of its leak, a key. Chex looked at it and puffed up his feathers, clearly trying to seem more masculine, strong, and cool. The farfetch handed the key to Fira, who smiled. “Thanks Cheerio.”

Fira then slotted the key into a slot behind a ‘hang in there’ poster featuring a Litten. A secret pathway opened up, hissing out dust and letting in a ray of sunshine. “Well, I’ll see you all later.” and then Fira turned to me. “And I’ll see you, Sunshine, tonight.”


On the outskirts of town, Molly and I were setting up camp. I had agreed to meet Fira at ‘red clauncher’ at 9:00 sharp. Shank had been grumbling in their tent.

“You should talk to them.” Molly raised an eyebrow.

“I-” I sighed. “I know.”

“They like you, stupid.” Molly said.

“I know.” I repeated, but then did a double take. “I kno- what?”

“Shank? They have a super big gay crush on you?”

“No. That can’t be it.” I blushed. Shank? Liking me? That’s crazy. I literally could not deal with this right now.

“Don’t believe me?” Molly smirked. “Ask him.”


“Now, ‘sunshine’.”

“Molly, if I didn’t need you to finish setting up our tents, I would throttle you right now.”

“Sure. Now go.”

And sure enough, I made my way over to Shank, who was playing with Cramey. They looked over to me, and I promptly avoided eye contact.

“Did Molly tell you?” They asked.

“I- tell me what?” I lied. Shank sighed.

“So, what about her is so special?” They asked.

“I don’t” I sighed, slightly frustrated. “It’s a moral obligation, so she doesn't tell Giovanni, and you know that.”

“Yeah but-” Shank sighed. “What about like, the way you blush when she calls you ‘sunshine’? You don’t blush when I call you ‘Prettyboy’.”

“I-” I looked at the ground, embarrassed.

“Whatever.” Shank huffed. “Can we just pretend this didn't happen?”

“Well-” I started to protest.

“Cool. goodnight.” Shank went into the tent and pulled out three shirts, probably picking which to wear tomorrow. Molly walked over, holding a ‘Liquorvanillish stick’ and chewing loudly.

“Sounds like that went well.”

“...I’m going to go make some rice and beans.”

“You have fun with that.”
Chapter 11


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 11:

That night, going to sleep was easy, but the dream was…


I woke up to see two figures seemingly arguing.

“You can’t meet him yet!” The first figure, who I confirmed to be Oak-Darkari after another quick glance.

“...” The other figure said inaudibly. I couldn’t make out much of them, they seemed to be more shadow than person.

“He’s not ready! He’s barely good enough to have made the choice to leave team rocket!” Oak-Darkari said. I stayed quiet, listening.


“Give me another week, please.”


“No, don’t tell him. Please, one more week.”


“Fine, f- four days.” Oak-Darkari stammered, for the first time since I’d seen him showing a slight fear. The shadowy figure then disappeared. I cleared my throat.

“Oh, hello.” Oak-Darkari said, his head spinning around 180 degrees like a noctowl and smiling at me as though nothing had happened. His jaw then unhinged and out popped the true form of darkrai, who grew two long, quite frankly slightly silly looking legs and walked over to me. “Erick, I gotta say, that talk with Shank? Truly one of the conversations of all time.”

“Could you not?”

“Yeah whatever. Erick, have you read a christmas carol?”

“I-” I was so confused. “Yes?”

“Well, in four days, you’re going to be visited by three other gods, all in the bodies of now dead heroes of our land, and champions of my boss.” He explained, toying with the severed head of the body he was just inhabiting.

“And you just tell me this now?” I asked.

“There’s more.” He didn’t have a mouth, but if he did, I bet he’d be smirking. “If you fail to complete your destiny by midnight the day after your third hero visits you, you will unfortunately die.”


“Oh also, the gods will be kind of themselves, but also kind of the people they inhabit. Like it'll be a two-in-one kinda deal.”

“That was not the part I was upset by and you know it.” I said, running a shaky, panicked hand through my own messy blonde hair.

“Well, like I said. Stop being so serious.”

“How long do I have, total?”

“Four days with me, one day for every ghost, and the day after. A week and a day, essentially.”

Eight days.

Darkrai flicked the head of Oak away. “Oh, by the way, forgot to say this, I can’t give you much info, that’s for the big three, but what I can tell you is this: You’re gonna need to do some reading to find the answer, but when you find out where you need to go, there’s going to be a ‘Bell’ that goes off in your ‘Tower’, so to speak.”

“Why did you do air-quotes for the words bell and tower?”

“Bye!” He said, cutting me off once more before he disappeared.
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Chapter 12


Lion Apologist
The Goof Realm
Chapter 12:

Molly and Shank were looking at me like I was the craziest person in the entire world. I had just told them about the dreams I had been having. I figured it was a good Idea to Finally get all of this off my chest. Molly had stared at me the whole time like I was crazy. Shank seemed to be not paying attention. They clearly had more on their mind. I didn't blame them.

“So you’ve been getting weirdly prophetic dreams and not telling us?” Molly asked. “And not to mention, you blew off Fira last night, so rocket’ll be on our asses.”

“I- yeah, you're right.” I sighed.

“Why should we even believe you?” Molly asked. “What proof do you even have?”

“None, I guess.”

There was silence. for a second everything froze. I felt the weight of my words against my shoulders. I sounded crazy. my two best friends in the entire world thought I was crazy. I saw it and looked down at the floor. Molly laughed slightly. Shank coughed. In the distance a bird chirped, probably a spearow.

“So, we go to Bell Tower.” Shank said, pointantly.

“What?” I asked.

“Bell Tower. obviously that's what Darkari or Oak or whatever was hinting at.” They laughed. “Come on, I thought you’d figure that one out, Erick.”

“But before we go.” Molly sighed. “We need to be stronger. This sounds dangerous.”

“Training?” Shank said. “I think we should fill out our teams first.”

“Both?” Molly said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s about a two day trip to bell tower from here, and so we have two days to prepare. I think there are maree-”

“Wait wait wait.” I stopped the two of them. “You guys are just in? No questions asked?”

“I mean, yeah dude.” Molly said. “We're friends. That’s what friends are for.”

“Okay.” I said. “What’s the plan?”


Molly and Shank’s plan was a five-step bulleted list that was, in all honesty, a pretty solid plan.

1: Catch new team members so we each have parties of six.

2: Train said parties, and make sure there’s a bond with each pokemon.

3: Go to Bell tower.

4: Find that god.

5: fulfill Erick’s destiny or whatever.

Honestly I couldn’t have asked for a better plan. For step one, Molly insisted we make ‘balanced’ teams, at least typewise. She had read books about savages of old who bred pokemon for perfect abilities to force them into cataclysmic battles, and she didn't want to go that extreme, but “having type variety would be nice.” She had said. Shank had agreed, but also made it abundantly clear that he wanted each of us to name our pokemon.

Our teams before our catching spree were as follows:

Molly: Pricilla (Meractus), and Gale (Iron bundle.)

Shank: Goopz (shiny Ditto), Crammy (Cramorant), Jangely Boi (Metapod), and Homer (Iron hands.)

Erick (that’s me): Chex (Sirfetch’d), Pepper (male salandit), and Valentine (Iron Valient.)

We had two areas closeby to explore, a forest and a field. While Molly timidly chased after a Heracross with Pricilla, Shank tackled a Maril to the floor. I meanwhile, had my eyes set on a Mareep and an eevee, who seemed to be hanging out by a river.

“Hello you two?” I tried. The mareep looked up at me, and hid behind the eevee in fear. The eevee glared at me. “Oh I’m not going to hurt you. Please don’t glare like that.”

Chex walked up to the eevee and smiled slightly, offering it a berry. “You see,” I continued. “My pokemon and I, we’re not super big on fighting. Hell, Pepper here would avoid it at all costs. Valentine’s been through a lot of violence themself.”

The mareep accepted the berry with a loud chomp, but the eevee looked at me with another raised eyebrow. Valentine walked over, and the eevee jumped and skitted away. Valentine bent down and offered it a pot of honey. The eevee’s mouth watered. “I won't lie to you though.” I sighed. “Right now we’re on a dangerous quest, and I’m going to need you two to help me with that. I need you two to join my team. Will you accept?”

They stared at us for a moment, before finally nodding. “Great!” I smiled. “You will be henceforth known as Harmony the mareep, and…” I trailed off, wracking my brain for a name for this eevee. “And Rocket. Rocket the eevee.”

And for the first time since I’d seen Rocket, it smiled.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Here for the first review of the blitz
Lets get started.

Prologue review. (Word count 273)

Interesting spin on the mon game opening. You gotta admit wjite void is not the thing you wanna wake up to... Or dream up to I suppose...

Funny how most people are thinking must hit a" especially speed runners. This poor saps like "what the heck and why!" With a side of a "am I in an eight bit verse loop of "welcome to corneria" but with dead Oak.

Love how the boy/girl line summons the blue screen of death as well as the protags "are you ok?" Which over rides the more scary "why're you here you're dead" angle most would be thinking.

I mean the pov gets there but the fact its not thier first thought is important.

On the other hand it is a nice way to show the protags pov has a working moral compas since you can never know with these rocket fics.

Wow Dead Oak leveled up in mean quick. And the stab! Many an animal crossing nerd will likely be usimg rage right about now...

I have to admit compared to sora's "wake in a void and have destiny dropped on them..." Chex's trainer has it nice. No giant gigamaxed gengars chasing him for example...

(Granted better not think that too loud around Dead Oak, they might get ideas for motiviation!)

On the mom front can we say passive agressive with a dose of controlling much? Still it speaks of a (at best) laid back nature vs (at worse) a resigned one.

Nice intro to the first character thus far. I'll drop more lines soon.
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Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Blitzing again
Chapter 1
Word count. 910

Now i gotta ask. How did a farfetched meet a would be chef? Followed the smell to omlets past (and as a farfetched would that be more like going to a murder fest... Specifically a infant avianacide?).

On second thought hopefully not omlets past...

The nod of using his mom as a mirror works well, building up our pov as well as the other relevent party in the room.

Not havong played anything past sun/moon i had no clue what falinks was until i looked it up. Gotta wonder what would them working/chilling look like? Did one snap up the wifi headphones and a pillow and flop down. Stub legs taping. Its peers on each others sjoulders to scoot a broom about glaring jealously on piece c20 carries on witth his break?

Erik, kid, do not ignore the tone... Because fakeness matched with tension usually plays out as explosion. The fact she slipped upstairs after making her order says possibly adverted explosion but this feels bad.

Love how chex gets dibs, i mean its fair but i am surprised the falinks don't drift over and pull a "sootballs hungry" dance around erik now that thier trainer is gone...

Speaking of which.. I think Eriks day is going to get so much worse. Talk, especially with the passive agressive types usualy boils down to "my way or the highway" and considering she is all but ordering him to pack I see a highway in the cards.

With that level of hostility, (especially after how many years?) Methinks the mom needs some therepy. I mean unless the guy did something on par to say a murder... But even if he did thats not erik's fault....

But still yeesh.

Gotta agree with the "not everyone leaves" line... Maybe a mit lazy considerong the mon world expects you to take on syndicates at 10 and a half... But we all cant be Red here.

And as he hasn't comited any crimes Erik's got a heck of a point. Honestly i'd just go along with it to cash out on the starter and start afresh somewhere else far far away from this woman.

Theres gotta be a cooking school program in the mon world right?

Amd off to elms. We got a pretty red head who screams anxiety and the guy I mentally called "modern gary oak ego jr." Because fussing over looks via phone, right now just screams it.

They're litterally sending angry jaded adolescents through a rehab program called "jade". I'm surprised some of the participents haven't exploded from fury driven irony yet.

Not as bad as another tales here redempton programe the little ducklets program but its really close.

And ego boy is Shank. Nice to know. Also per terminology methinks the kid has a juvie record...

Oh boy. Well at least he's not completely amoral since he flagged Molly about the farfetched, if a bit belatedly, and by giving Erik a heads up at least is sparing Molly having to stress over how much she needs to explain. Considering thier location and a pokephobe at a research lab is like leaving an aracnaphobe in a "happy fun free roam spider cage" thats boarderline nice.

As Shank brandishes his rep and inflates it (i'm talling thier tale with a grain of salt) and the boys start to bond you can just imagine poor mollys mindset.

(I am in the worst place in earth and theyre bonding over celebrities.

Dying here!)

Right before she realizes that if she doesn't say anything they're gunna be gossipong here all day. Thatd make anyone scrap up some courage to point at the clock.

I see Elm's taking a page from dead Oak's playbook. Are all the poke professors mean or Erik and co just that type of lucky.

I like the aide matching her geodude... Its a cute touch. And i feel so bad for her working situation. Elm sounds like a horrid boss.

I suspect that Shank and Erik are all like "wee new mon!" and Mollys mentally goong "please be locked in your pokeball... Please?"

Also the fact its sitting in a briefcase screams no toichie.

I wonder if the other kids are getting something like erik's mental connection with valiant.

And having Shank put them back males me sus he's going to pull a bait and switch. I mean free ominous plot coupon just lying there... Why not just pocket it?

A "red emblem" huh? Well that nerrows it to flare or rocket... And considerong the title i vote rocket.

Snorts. And the powerpoint is proof Shank needs a hobby if he spent that much time on photoshopping. Still you can see thier priorities in that one picture.

Cute how Shank thinks he's getting a good starter. I'm expecting her to pass out rattatas. Or go grimer, trubbish, chingling.

well the sand' works out well.simce its part fire type. Aka a portable stove. .chex picked well. And i'm not surprised pepper was the name he wemt with. Will mon three be salt?

Shank going with crammy fits. Birds.of a feather...

That leaves Molly scared out of her mind with a mon preped for accidental suicide by hugging a firepit...

Poor molly.

Also.. Yeah i think Shank just propelled them all into a disaster fest considerong he kinda unhinged a deal between Elm and a crime stndicate.

Pretty sure thats going to bite them sooner rather then later.
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Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 2 blitz review

And of course the first thing pepper and chex do is scuffle. I mean its canonical mon interaction but how eriks mom is seeing this as am improvment is beyond me.

R.i.p mr. Pillow.

I am surprised that Chex shared his leek to be candid. I though farfetched were more like "MINE" with thier greenery. But it works in corrupting pepper. Work the lizard up to the finest tastes in life and the cooking duo will be a cooking trio and if eriks smart. Like flitches a meat themoniter he can guage peppers heat and get the traveling cooking show rolling.

But then theres you know small tjings holding that wholesome life choice back... Like the guilt of taking something. Like that premier ball chilling by Erik's side.

I can so see Shank going "its a new day somewhere else!" And forcing the mon reveal. Or maybe a "its been 24 hours in gnat time!".

I guess Shank can just settle for bonding but i would keep an eye on my priemier ball if i were you, Erik. Shanks got a history of sticky fingers and an obsession with the shell game.

I can only imagine the insamity at base when Rocket cracks open the balls and finds them empty. Heads will be rolling. Enough for Rocket to open a grim bowling ally.

"Joked" Erik calls it. And man shes a master at backhand. Maybe Eric should sell the stolen items and use it to fund that life far far away. Shank might cut him a fair deal in the market all things considered...

Ah so the grand reveal... Of goopz. With a name like that i imagined a gooma honestly.

But hey dittos are insanely useful in klepto circles. Manga green would heartily approve.

Why am i not surprised its a shiny?

Barks a laugh. Trust Shank to pull the pragmatic question out pf the air. Thier timing though...

Valant's defensiveness is going to probably be a step back for poor Molly but i suspect the other kid trainers have thier own issues at the moment.

Or they could be having it easier
Figures. Erik seems to have jaden "heart gold soul silver nuzlock" level of bad luck.

Notes explosion... Yeah thats one way to tell someone off... Explosions. Good thing they haven't traced the theft to the kids yet but considering how fast they got back to elm all three of them are working on borrowed time starting right about now.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Blitz review
Chapter 3

Running seems a smart idea... Maybe after recalling the mystery 'mon and finding a crowd to blend in with. Hint hint...

But nah...Molly will probably be fine as she's being smart. Shank's grave is going to read "here died an opportunist, cause of death persuring shiny" Erik's will read, "because I was bored thats why."

Pepper ran ahead and began to look around the corner just as a large boulder flew from the booming sound of another explosion.

Minor technical quibble. While it'd be really impressive if the sound was moving the boulder I suspect it was the force of the explosion instead. Its an easy fix. Drop "the booming sound of". If you want to keep the booming make it its own seperate section so the confusion/overlap doesn't occure.

Of course Shamk knows them on sight. Surprised Erik didn't but it might be a "came from galar but law abiddong" vs "baby criminal" background.

They're yelling profanities at a burming building... Sigh... Hello anime verse Rocket. Subtle they are not. Love how they still got zubats though.

Not to be that type of reviewer but you spelled Giovanni's name wrong.

Laughs as Rocket proceeds to wave plot signs over thier heads. Yeah this definitly is anime'verse Rocket.

Love shanks swear but consoderong I'm a twitch fan i'm biased.

And Molly is getting sucked in by bad situation.

Love how Erik is all... Well our mon are underleveled lets play with the new legends in our pocket.

Shanks "noooo my gambling addiction!" Made me laugh.

Also Shanks "because" reasoning feels like foreshadowing...

Love how the aide is sadly smarter then Elm and Rocket combined as she puts it all together at a glance and brimgs the seriousness of the situation to the fore.

How do the kids know these paradox mon's moves? Expanding on that might be a good idea and help expand the world a bit though i suspect per Eriks experience Molly was given some help via her paradox mon projecting the idea of icicle crash in her head...

So whose family game night is rigged? The rockets? Thats an interesting defeat cry if it is...

So is Chex evolving a good or bad thing for Erik? Next chapter will likely tell.
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Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 4 review for blitz

Well that was answered in seconds flat. Chex evolving is not a good thing. Considering they're running for thier lives amd i think sir farfetched is bulkier then his base forum i agree with Erik, now is not the time.

Love that line about subpar fiction. Are you enjoying leaning on that fourth wall?

I would say the main factors here are "can I see around the pokemons evolution going on" as well as the dreaded "how much heavier are there and is the new bulk gunna throw off my running stride."

Shank saying "nothing" is an immediate cause for alarm.

Of course Shannons in on the illegal schenanigans. (Rolls eyes) I guess her and Elm can milk the insurance now to make up some of the loss.

Though a smart desperate thing might tattle in the kiddos location and milk the insurance. Make it a two for one sort of deal?

Shannon's walk seems suspicious all thimgs considered.

Erik I hate to suggest it but i think Mom's throwing a party amd not thinking of you at all.

Excuse me i need a moment to laugh my head off. Oh my arceus you did not pull the Oak criticising your life choices via touching the fishing rod away from water.

No one else seems to be responding though... Which makes it all the more obviois.

(Though i doubt Erik would be as nutters as another mon fanfic protag, Mr. Helixian priest Red... so theres that thin consolation.)

Yeah that creeper ghost type smilimg at me would instill so much phobia. Sounds like that 100 souls mon in a bottle (will put name here in edit). Gaia help Molly if she gets accosted by a maliciois ghost type like a ghastly.

So if master cjiefs here then what type of mon does ramsy have? I'm imaginging a camelrupt troating behind him literally exploding when he does.

Shank needs to never go to Alola. Skull would abduct him for his naming choices alone... And what happens when that poor caterpie evolves to butterfree?

And the ghost is up. They be caught and Giovanni is running things it seems. (Fitting, not that i have biases or anything) and much more compitent then everyone so far. Poor Shannon i can only imagine her skid marks ect from beimg dowemd boumd and hauled around like trash. The poor womans going to need therepy at this rate. And the kids too honestly.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 5
Blitz review

Shamelessly me and Shank would be doing the exact same thing. Shameless fanboying on the inside.

Is it safe? Nope. Will it end badly? Likely. Am i still doing it? Yep, I am.

Wonder if the Rockets are tossing a pity look over thier shoulders or a I'll shank you look... No, not that Shank... Shank shank.

I am realizing that having a kid named Shank on Team Rocket kinda defangs some of the standard gang death threats/maining threats...

Gio is a teritorial piece of work isn't he? I'm surprised Shank or Erik isn't pointing out that they kinda can't pick where there parents put down thier roots. Being minors and on probation and all that.

Laughs. Though unlikely i suspect Shank did not duck behind a tree and pop on a pro-rocket adjacent shirt ala clark kent and the phone booth trick. If he had this Gio would have probably called it out for his own amusememt.

Well advanced thimgs like human politocs and gang wars probably would skate over the mon's furry and feathered little heads. Though you'd think the Legends would be freaking out unless they haven't made the connection that the people who hurt them are Rocket and that Gio is Rocket's head. The fact that Gio's being a bit diffident... I'd go so far as to say weary of the legend bonded kids kinda indicates these three stolen 'mon are probably on the over powered side.

Love how in stealing Shanks chow he mutly pulls a "whats mine is mine and what yours is also mine" card. Shannon's got it rough. Dragged about, at knife point, bound, watching her captor basically cause a chain reaction that leads to her chow getting eatten im front of her.

And the mon are reactimg now huh...wonder if theyre cottening on to the situational vibes or smart enougj/ worldly enough to put two and two together.

Love how Gios like, i am warm, cozy, fed, know more then they know, lets play twist the knife and slap the questions down to establish an ommipresent front.

Yeah considering pikachus all the "mouse pokemon" and that baffles canon trainers in the series i can see molly getting thrown for a loop by a moth.

Now i actually have a reason for this in my tales thats tied to some pretty deep dark world biilding so i gotta ask if the nod to nonpokemon life has any relevence plotwise or is it a toss away line here?

And here we get our first villian monologue data dump. I'm surprised Gio used Elm and didn't go knocking at Orre's door. Thier shadowification tech was pretty terrorfying all things considered and would fit Gio's aims beautifully.

So in summation...

"So yeah while tackling my big fish protocal i totally missed you pesky kids... Which on hindsight explains so much with Red, Katchem, Blue ect... But hey i am totally paying attemtion now. Who wants invasive personal data flaunted to scare them sensless?"

Shanon, Erik, amd Molly who posess one brain cell: nope!

Shank who in this case does not: oh memememe!

Gio: oh and for added points may i say i got all your facts in less then twenty four hours. Via the pokeballs Shank stole? You really gave my info teams about five minutes of work.. Cute photoshop btw.

Shanon, Erik, amd Molly: mutly death glaring Shank.

Shank: still fanboying

Gio: alright... I see absolutly nothing i am saying is going to intimidate you. There's been like five death threats... I read your bank account numbers... Did you just wamt a job at this point?

Shank starts squealing.

Gio: (resigned but amused) i dont speak dolphin -not clarifying- so i am going to take that as a yes... Yes?

Shank who has his hand up like a schoolboy getting teach's attemtion: "Can you do the whole offer you cant refuse line?"

Gio, Molly, Erik, Shannon, and all.the mon raising an eyebrow because gio's basically been doing this since he got there.

And in the background Erik has... A heart attack i guess? I suppose that'll be expanded on next chapter but the sense of "not again" kinda made me blink in confusion.
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