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Gyeig

Junior Trainer
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. samurott

Review of Special Episode 2​


Time for a special episode. Just one chapter, but these are supposed to round off parts of the fic (IIRC), so might as well.

So starting off, this already fits in way better than the last special episode. The characters + events whose story is being told here directly gives context to what’s happening in the fic at that time, which is good - else we’re left wondering why a mute and feral Zoroark is a guardian. On top of that, the story of Ra, Step and their daughters is compelling, even if it does get lost a little amidst the mechanics and world of the fic. You get a feeling for why Star is such a divisive character in universe, and what it’s like being caught up in the middle of all this shit to begin with. Helps raise the stakes for Owen more.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but notice the prose in this chapter isn’t as good as the chapters before. It’s far more bland and workmanlike, in a way that doesn’t help sell the more off the wall shit that happens in this chapter. Things like the conflict between Ra and Star, and then Ra’s dead + subsequent passage into the afterlife would hit harder in my eyes with some extra colourful prose.

Aside from that though, I don’t have much more to say about this. It’s nice backstory to have before diving further into Enet - maybe some of Ra rubbed off on her. We’ll see. Thanks for the chapter.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. quilava-fobbie
  5. sneasel-kate
  6. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, running a bit late, but I figured that I'd jump on that Review Tag that I called for:

Chapter 14

... Which surely only portends good things™️ with a title like that...
:copyber:


Owen had barely slept last night—nobody had answered his questions when he asked. They had said, brushed him off with 'what are you talking about?' like nothing had happened.

Maybe it was a lapse in memory. Sometimes evolution can change the mind slightly. Gahi is just confused. He’ll sort it out. Don’t worry, Owen. You evolved, too. Maybe you need to settle a bit?

There's a weird mix of verb tenses here in the opening paragraph. I think that the intent is that everything from the third sentence onward is stuff Owen is actively thinking in live-time, but if so, it probably makes sense to keep the formatting consistent with how his "inner thoughts" are rendered in prior chapters.

But Owen knew that hadn’t been some trick of the mind. It felt too… real to be a trick. But then—how could he know? If his mind thought it was real, but it wasn’t… he wouldn’t know. But then, why did he have that thought? Gahi did fly before. He was fast

I see that Nevren's memory deletion he uses on the villagers and presumably also Owen wears off eventually given that Owen's able to reconstruct past memories from prior "cycles" of his life or whatever's going on here. Though I can already tell that just keeping up with "yeah, you know too much" is a full-time job for him.

Days passed while Star went searching for more information about the Guardians. That left them with time to decompress. Willow had made herself a little mushroom village in her abode, where she happily conversed with her screaming, playful spirits. ADAM had spent his time obsessively polishing every corner of his abode until it was a smooth cube inside. Afterward, he had dedicated his time to “defragmenting,” whatever that meant. Valle… did his thing in the town square.

>defragmenting

... Do I want to know how badly messed up ADAM's hard drive or whatever storage medium he runs PoryOS off of has gotten in the span of almost five centuries? Like how is there anything left of it right now?
:copyka2:


The new normal was settling in. Every day, Anam would leave with Nevren to manage the Association. Rhys would leave with his students to take a mission or two after their usual meditation.

“I’m not crazy. Not crazy. Not…” Owen shook his head. “I know it happened. I—I can’t just make that up, can I?”

Owen, imagine reflexively assuming this considering what happened the last time you saw strange things and thought you were going crazy in this story.
:copyka:


“I’m sure you can’t, Owen,” Zena said. “But you have to admit, it’s a little strange, don’t you think?”

She was coiled up in the corner of her room, staring at a set of little marbles on the ground. Rhys had a bag of them in his room, and Owen knew the rules to a game they could play. He flicked one of two large marbles into the pile, knocking two out with precision. Zena, opposite to Owen, clumsily rolled her marble along her pink ribbon. It fell a few times, but a gentle, Mystic force kept it from hitting the ground.

Huh. I wouldn't have pegged an oarfish as being able to use those feelers to manipulate things, but I suppose that makes for better precision than nosing the marble.

Though that's the second "Char that's surprisingly good at marbles with a thing for an aquatic noodle" I've read in a PMD story thus far. Funny how coincidences between writers happen like that.

“Mom’s not telling me a thing. I tried pressing Dad, but he got so flustered that he exploded and hid in Mom’s Fire Realm or whatever.” He snorted and eyed the marble floating above Zena’s ribbon-eyebrow. “Is that thing you’re doing the same force you use to fly?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. It is.” Zena fired the marble into the circle, freeing four from the perimeter in one shot.

Owen: "... Wow, you're much better at this game with that aerokinesis thingy or whatever it is than with your feelers."
:bulbuhhh:

Zena: "Uh... thanks?"
:eltywtf:


“Good one,” Owen said. The four marbles floated to Zena’s side. “But, yeah. That’s pretty cool. Maybe if I…” Owen focused on his marble. It wobbled in his claws, floating above his hand. It fell right after. “That’s weird.”

“It is,” Zena said. “I think it’s the same force that keeps some Pokémon afloat. Mm, Castform, Claydol, off the top of my head…”

“Levitation powers?” Owen hummed in thought. “Yeah, I didn’t think about it that way.”

Oh, so this is literally the thing that makes Levitate work... I think. Though that makes me wonder if fishmons in this setting are also Flying Seafood Specials on land.

“Hmph. Star said it was ignoring gravity, but that doesn’t explain it all. We also choose which direction we want to float.”

“Ignoring gravity,” Owen repeated. He stared at the remaining marbles in the circle. There were just ten. But he saw a good angle, and he rolled the orb in. With one flick, the marble bounced against six of the smaller ones, pushing them all out.

“How did you do that?” Zena said.

Latent memories. It's an amnesiac Char protagonist thing. o<o

“Do what?” Owen asked, picking up the six that fell out of the ring. “It’s just a bunch of spheres. It’s easy to predict which way they’ll all go.”

“Yes, but,” she said, staring curiously “you predicted all of that?”

Oh right, Owen has an ability akin to Mythra's Foresight from XB2 / Shulk's future visions from XB1 if his portrayal in BLC2 was anything to go by. Guess that's the first depiction of it in this story here.

“Well, the last one was a little luck,” Owen admitted. “Your turn.”

Zena counted her marbles, then Owen’s. [ ]

I can’t win.”

“Huh?” Owen looked at his marbles, then at Zena’s. “Oh. You’re right. Even if you got ‘em all, I’d be two ahead…” He rubbed the back of his head, gripping his horn. “H-ha, sorry. Maybe I should’ve gone easier.”

IMO, it might've made sense to make a passing mention of Zena's disappointment or something like that to set the mood a bit more. Though smooth moves there, Owen.

Zena flushed. “You were going easy?”

“No!” Owen said quickly. “I was just—I mean—”

“Don’t go easy,” Zena growled.

Yeah, I can already tell that Owen's going to be faceplanting in front of his crush / probable future GF quite a bit in this story.
:lultias:


“Okay.” Owen lowered his head. “Well—why don’t you pick the next game?”

“Hmm…” Zena scanned the marbles. Owen helped to gather them into the small sack Rhys kept them in. She then eyed Owen. “I think I’m going to meditate. Would you care to join me?”

“Oh, sure. Um, can I meditate while reading something?”

Zena blinked. “I do not believe that is how meditation works.”

Zena: "Just saying, the entire point of meditation is to block out any sensory experience, Owen."
:eltyunamused:

Owen: "Hey, it's not as if others don't mention getting into zen-like states while doing stuff! Doesn't that count as medita-?"
Zena: "No."

“Well, I haven’t been able to read for a while.” Owen bumped the claws from each hand together. “I feel like my mind’s getting rusty.”

“Well, what do you read?” Zena asked.

“Books,” Owen said. “I usually like nonfiction. Or comics. Actually, I think I kinda like to read books in general…”

Ah yes, it's time for the first appearance of Druddigon Cube in this story. Even if you had a missed opportunity to lean into the weebness and make it alliterative as Crimgan Cube

“Books,” Zena repeated. “You’ve said that word before. But I’m not sure what they are.”

“Uhh—remember those weird, rectangle things in Anam’s office?”

“You mean the one that was encrusted with his… mucus?”

I'm now reminded of that one
:TailsEww:
"pages are stuck together" line from Borderlands, even if thankfully the thing doing that here's a bit less gross.

“Please don’t call it that.” Owen winced, nodding. “Those, yeah. Well, you can actually open them on one side. It’s filled with really, really thin sheets, called paper. And the paper has words on them. You can spend days reading one book, depending on how thick it is, and how small the letters are.”

“Goodness, that sounds like incredibly detailed craft. It must be expensive.”

Owen: "... No, I'm pretty sure that we just make them with printing presses nowadays. Assuming that Nevren and the rest of the tech geeks didn't cook up some sort of ink printer." ^^;

“Not really.” Owen replied. “We’ve got these things that can print them really easily. Nevren invented them with the help of some of the other Pokémon. You can make a bunch of copies of the same book really quickly—you could send it all across Kilo!”

Yeah, I knew it. Though I wonder if those fall closer to the scale of "printing press" or "modern electronic printer", since the setting technically has the means to support both, IIRC.

“Kilo,” Zena repeated, nodding. “The world, right?”

“Yeah. Wait, back then, you didn’t even have a name for the world?”

“No, we did,” Zena said. “But I don’t think it was Kilo. In fact, I don’t think Kilo Mountain was called that, either.”

Well then. Implying that something happened roughly five centuries ago to either prune large chunks of the broader world, or at the bare minimum cause a renaming.

“Oh. What was it called before?”

Zena paused, looking down. “I can’t remember. Perhaps I haven’t used it in so long, I forgot. Q… Qu… Hm. I’m not sure.” She sighed. “It’s not important. Names change all the time.

I'll take 'Genre Blind Statements' for $500, Alex. Since, yeah. I'm not convinced at all that this is anywhere near as unimportant as Zena makes it out to be. Though given that I already know that HoC has a thing for SI prefix naming, I'm guessing that this was once upon a time most likely a play on 'Quetta'.

Owen nodded. “Well, how about we get something to read, huh?”

He headed back to his home and slipped to his room, and then into a little alcove in the back where he kept his books. He had to buy special editions of them, printed on Rawst paper. “If we ever get you any books, Zena, I think we’ll need to find some books made of Passho paper.”

“Passho paper? Is that not a berry?”

I mean, given that Owen has a Rawst Leaf bed, wouldn't it be more likely that they're made from the leaves/stems/trunks of those plants? ^^;

“Yeah. It protects against water damage, so you can even read it underwater!”

Well, that definitely sounds handy. Even if I wonder how on earth the thing would absorb ink to begin with with properties like those.

“I’ve never heard of making something waterproof before,” Zena said. “Let me guess. This is another one of those Dungeon items, or perhaps one of those odd blessings by Anam?”

“Yeah. Blessed berries and seeds and scarves really enhance their power. I heard that one blessed Chesto Berry can let you pull an all nighter easily!” Owen pulled out a book that was bigger than his head. “Here! Let’s read this one together.”

Zena: "I'm sorry, but how is Anam able to do any of this again?"
:lucariwhat:

Owen: "... Probably Mystic Power?" ^^;
Zena: "Owen, I have Mystic Power and I can't change the properties of items like that!" .-.
Owen: "Maybe it's a thing you can do after you get more experienced? Since Anam is kinda a gigantic outlier among all of us in terms of the sorts of cool stuff he can do with his powers, so..."

Zena blinked, rising a few inches higher from her leisurely coil. “I’m reading with you?”

“I mean, this might be interesting to read, don’t you think?” He showed her the cover: Scarves and Seeds: Basic and Obscure Dungeon Equipment, Third Edition.

That sounds more like a way to never make it to a first date with Zena, just saying. Though I wonder if this leads into the scene that's depicted in the banner art that the forum versions of your story have.

Zena looked tired just hearing the title.

“Here, let’s go to the Scarves section, huh?” Owen said enthusiastically, walking to his bed. His flame was bright, lighting up Zena’s eyes. She followed. He opened the book to the middle and started pointing and reading out a few of the standard Scarves, all of their effects, where they were found, and even their rarity when found in the wild.

Yeah, getting some banner art vibes right about now.

Zena: "Um... Owen?"
:gardexhausted:

Owen: "Oh! Oh! We're getting to a good part! It's the Harmony Scarves section!"
:owengel:


Somehow, Zena became interested, coiling near Owen to read with him. The pages turned slower and slower; by the time they were reading about Pecha Scarves, Owen had paused for so long that Zena spent a good amount of time simply re-reading.

I'll admit, I didn't see that one coming. Though yeah, I can already tell that this is where the banner art between those two came from.

“Owen?” Zena asked, nudging his shoulder with one of her brows.

“Zena, am I crazy?”

Zena was quiet for a few seconds too long. “I certainly don’t think so,” she said. “Owen, it was just a lapse in memory, was it not? Gahi just evolved. It’s simply not possible for him to have flown around before, and the evolution has everyone slightly confused.”

Narrator: "It was not just a lapse in memory."

“It feels so real, though,” Owen said. “I… I don’t get it. I know he—”

“Owen,” Zena said softly, “don’t get so worked up over it. Okay?”

On the one hand, this feels like terrible advice for the sort of story this is, but... yeah. Given the track record of how things are going thus far, I can already tell that Owen will find the truth out about those lingering memories one way or another before long.

The Charmeleon hesitated, but then turned the page. “Okay,” he relented. “Thanks. I guess I’m just getting worked up over nothing. Lapse of memory from evolving. That makes sense. I guess the brain changes a little when you evolve, so maybe that’s why.”

Zena nodded. And so, they resumed their reading.

“So, I’m not crazy?”

“No, Owen. You’re just fine.”

Narrator:
Image


“This one here is the Spire of Trials,” Star said. “Fighting Guardian Manny lives here—he’s pretty cool. We go way back. I’d go there, definitely.”

She pointed at the map they had brought in to Hot Spot’s main square. The Spire of Trials was that odd, narrow triangle on the map to the east, just below Nightshade Forest.

Hmm, I guess the Sunshine Highlands is also a good one, that’s the Flying Guardian, Cara.” She pointed to the far west, where white hills dominated the landscape. “Uhh… Oh! And why don’t we also try Forrest, the Ground Guardian in the Endless Expanse?”

She headed southwest, to an odd, gray-colored portion of the map that looked like a place the artist forgot to finish.

Oh boy, she's back again. Though this paragraph was dense enough with stuff going on in it that it could be three or four paragraphs without missing a beat.

The group agreed and started shuffling around to divide up their numbers. With three new Guardians, they could have a full team for everyone and then some. After the fiasco that was Alex’s fighting abilities, he quietly retired to be replaced by someone else.

“I shall not go,” said Valle.

No surprises there since he's busy sticking around as a living statue.

“Let me guess,” Star said, crossing her arms. “This place is your new mountain, and you’re gonna keep watch of any abnormal movements here instead? One with the stone?”

“Yes.”

Yeah, I figured. Though it's making me curious as to if there's anything that could get Valle to come along even if it involved dragging him kicking and screaming.

Star sighed, rubbing her paws between her eyes. “Okay, okay. So, who else is going, then? We’ve got Anam, James, Zena and… ADAM, yeah, that’s pretty balanced… that seems like a pretty solid group, right?”

Zena glanced at Owen again, but didn’t protest.

Oh, so he is starting to grow on her. That's certainly fast, though it makes me wonder if this is really the first time these two have met each other before.

“And then there’s Rhys, and his three students… Okay, group two.”

“Wait, hang on,” Owen immediately protested. “Why can’t the whole Team Alloy go together this time, huh? We’re all evolved! That’s gotta be strong enough, right?”

I mean, considering what the chapter title is, I'm not sure you want to be that confident going into things, Owen.
:fearfullaugh~1:


“Owen, that’s not even close to strong enough on your own.” Star motioned to Rhys, who was avoiding their eyes.

“I understand your desire to work as your proper Heart quartet,” Rhys said. “However, I can’t in good conscience send you four out alone. I must accompany them.”

[ ]

“But… but I’m never allowed to just go on a mission with them.” Owen’s tail dimmed. “Why not? Is it really that unsafe for me to just go out for a little while?”

Maybe it's just a stylistic difference as an author on my end, but part of me feels like it would've made sense to show a bit more of Owen's disappointment to Rhys' insistence of "no, you're not coming with the gang".

Rhys nodded firmly. “The Hunters could take you at a single unlucky moment. We can’t afford for a Guardian to be alone without any elites keeping them safe.”

Owen wanted to protest. But he didn’t find an opening; compared to the Elite Hearts, he was just backup.

Yeeeeah, I can already tell that this is going to feel weird and "why did I ever think that?" down the road.

“Sorry, Owen. When you’re ready, but not now.” Star then turned to look at the rest of the group. “Who’s left? Willow, Owen, and Amia—oh, hey, Alex, you can come with us again!"

[ ]

"…Owen?”

“H-huh?” Owen straightened his spine.

“Owen, are you… okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Owen replied weakly.

I think that we're missing a step here for what makes Owen stand out so much, since I didn't really get a vibe that Owen was that visibly disappointed / upset due to the lack of description. Expanding out the pause in Star's line feels like the easiest and most natural way to slot that information in.

The group shuffled uncomfortably. Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi were a bit unfocused, too. It had been quite a few days since their odd lapse of memory, but it obviously lingered in all of Team Alloy’s heads. Everyone knew it, but most didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Hey… don’t sweat it, alright?” Star said softly. “It’ll be okay. How about we just get to fighting, huh? Fighting is always fun! Right?

Are we just forgetting how Willow almost gooshed Owen and his parents last chapter? Since I don't know if anyone would call that a fun experience.
:copyber:


Willow: "I would! Or at least up until the part where I got all tangled up, anyways..." ^^;

This lifted their spirits slightly. “Y-yeah, I guess so.” Demitri smiled. “Yeah… um—which one do you think would be the best fight? Of those three?”

“Well, Forrest will probably give you a lot of obstacles to go through. And I’m pretty sure Manny will be the same. Cara’s more of a run-and-hide ‘mon, so… maybe Anam should do that one, since he’s the most outwardly friendly of us, y’know? And isn’t on fire.” She nodded at Amia.

My money's on Manny given that I know that he apparently gets mentioned a decent number of times for the later parts of the story, but I suppose we'll see.

“Oh, okay,” Anam said. “So, we’ll handle Cara. What about Forrest?”

“Ground, right?” Gahi said. “I can avoid all those attacks now that I’m flying. Levitate’s a pretty nifty move fer all those techniques. I say we do that one.”

“But Rhys is weak to Ground,” Demitri said. The Fraxure worriedly glanced at his teacher.

“I will survive,” the Lucario said.

Rhys: "Demitri, I literally can arbitrarily float in the air like something straight out of Druddigon Cube since I'm Mystic, remember?"
:lucariwhat:

Demitri: "... Doesn't that wear you out or anything? What if you get caught off guar-?"
Rhys: "Demitri. I'll be fine."

[ ]

“Guess that leaves us with Manny,” Amia sighed. “I’m not much of a fighter, but… I will try.”

“Excuse me?” Owen mumbled, recalling the time she melted the ground for Zena’s new lake.

“And I will, too!” Willow said, hopping onto Owen’s head. “You! Carry me when we go. Understood? You are my servant for the day.”

This might work a bit better with something to more explicitly transition the focus back to Amia there. Though oh boy, Willow's coming along for the ride too, huh? I'm sure that no negative consequences will come from this at all.
:copyka2:


“E-excuse me?” Owen said again.

[ ]

“Now, Willow, at least ask permission,” Amia said.

Willow growled. “You don’t mind if you are my riding-Pokémon, do you, Charmeleon?”

Ditto here, especially if you want to play up Amia's
:gardexhausted:
-ness dealing with Willow's more childish antics right now.

[ ]

“I—I guess I will,” Owen said, looking away.

“Cool.” Star clapped her paws in a soundless plap. “Then let’s split up. If you guys run into any trouble, use those communicators like before. It might be useful!”

Part of me wonders if there's more thought process behind what Owen was saying here, and if so, if more should've been shown of it.

“Of course,” Amia said, looking around. “Owen! Let’s go. Willow, won’t you lead Owen with us to Kilo Village?”

“Of course! Servant, you will move!”

[ ]

“Okay…”

Same deal here, especially if Owen's internally having a "... I had to skip being with Zena for this?!
:WHY:
" reaction right about now.

Owen: "Yeah, I can already tell that I'm going to hate being in this group." >_>;

Amia giggled. “Oh, be a good sport, Owen. I’m sure Willow is just playing.”

“I sure hope so.” Owen looked up in an attempt to see the Joltik. He felt her balanced on the top of his horn.

She is totally not just playing. And even if she was, considering what Willow defined as 'playing' last chapter, I'm not sure that's remotely reassuring, Amia.
:copyber:


“See you guys!” Demitri waved a tiny arm at the other teams.

“Be careful!” Anam called back. They all vanished, set to rescue the three Guardians.

Owen: "Dear gods, I hope that our end of things is fast-forwarded..."
:mewtwofacepalm:


The rocks of Sunshine Highlands glimmered like cut diamonds. There was no escape from the sunlight here, and the further along the highlands they went, the rockier it became. Everything was either white or prismatic; turning to the left risked seeing a rapid rainbow of colors, and turning to the right risked a whiteness that would rival the sun.

So... opals and marble everywhere? Or am I getting the wrong aesthetic from this description?

“I hope she’s okay,” Anam said, looking around through squinted eyes. “Cara, right? The Flying Guardian…”

“I guess that means she’s got quite the… hrm.” James said. “Well, perhaps her tendencies will be to flee rather than to battle.”

“Yeah,” Anam said. “But I’ll take the lead, if that’s how it’s gonna be.” He squinted, holding his slimy arm over his eyes. “It’s so bright!”

Should've brought some Black Glasses with you for the trip, Anam. That'd probably help with the blinding light right now.

“Indeed,” James replied. “Part of the hazard here is how the rocks reflect the sunlight. We should have come here later in the day.”

Eventually, Anam had to cover his eyes completely. “I can’t see…”

Skill issue. Since just saying, if you can cook up a printer, it shouldn't be that hard to come up with protective eyewear for situations like these.

“It’s… quite difficult, yes,” Zena admitted. She’d been slithering blind for quite a while, and had a splotch of slime on her neck and face from bumping into Anam so much. James kept his head down, using his natural hood to protect against most of the sunlight.

“We must advance,” ADAM said. “My light sensors have been shut down due to overload. However, my other senses indicate that there is a Mystic aura further ahead, and is currently hiding. Would you like to continue? Options: Yes, cancel.”

I was going to ask why ADAM didn't do "Yes/Cancel", or "Y/N" if getting more computer-y, but then I realized that you can't exactly speak a slash in dialogue so this is a good enough approximation of ADAM speaking out the equivalent of a terminal prompt.

“Yes,” Anam said. “I guess… I guess we should keep going. How much longer?”

“We are approximately 98% to the hiding spot.”

“Oh, that’s close!” Anam said. “So, we should be finished soon?”

I just realized, but how on earth are they going to fight this Guardian in this state? Since nobody here other than ADAM has senses that we know of that would prepare them for fighting blind. .-.

... Unless Mystic Power also has a workaround for that. I suppose we'll find out shortly.

“We are approximately 98% to the hiding spot.”

“Um… yeah, so…”

“S-stop right there!” a shaky voice called out.

Anam stopped and tried to look ahead. He saw a flash of something flying toward them. Zena narrowly dodged the blast, but the strong gusts of wind left small cuts on her back. “Ah—ngh—that’s not very friendly.”

I mean, the speaker sounds kinda terrified right now, so... yeah. Kinda hard to be friendly when you're actively frightened, Anam.

Anam squinted and saw a bird flying high in the—no, that wasn’t a bird. It had wings, yes, but… it also had arms. And—something about the wings didn’t quite fit, either. What was wrong with…

Anam saw flashes of brown when the light didn’t fight against him, and he realized that this fuzzy Pokémon was a Lopunny, its ears transformed into sky-blue, feathery wings. She flew through the air with an agility that Anam could only dream of. She was also extraordinarily large—perhaps twice the size of a normal Lopunny.

So... she's an Alpha Lopunny? And I wonder what's the rhyme or reason behind which guardians got visible mutations / tweaks to their base forms and which ones didn't. Since Zena, Amia, and Anam all look superficially normal, but almost every Guardian other than ADAM has been noticeably "off-spec" one way or another.

“There! That’s definitely the Flying Guardian!” Anam pointed.

“Wh-what do you want with me?!” Cara yelled back. “I don’t want to fight! Please, leave me alone!”

[ ]

“We aren’t here to fight!”

“How can I know that?! You already came here once before! You—your kind—!”

It might make sense to lean into the sensory disorientation a bit harder, also helps for breaking up the dialogue a bit more than what's there. Also, that underlined bit...

Image


“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Anam said.

“Cara! Whoever came here before, we aren’t them!” James outstretched his wings. “This is our first time here! Look!” He vanished into the ground in a black fog, and then reappeared. “Anam is the Ghost Guardian, and I am his spirit, yes? Did Star not tell you about us?”

:sceptikarp:


... Not sure if I believe this one, but even if Anam and James aren't lying... yeah, Star totally kept Cara in the dark, I can already tell.

Cara stopped her flying, but it was still too hard to see. “Wh-what do you mean?” She stopped flying away, and instead looked down at them. The way the sun was positioned, she was directly in front of it. “The Ghost Guardian, yes, I… I think Star mentioned you before. Yes. O-oh, I’m sorry. Hold on.”

The lights of the crystalline field dimmed enough for them to see. They still sparkled white, but it wasn’t blinding. Was she somehow controlling the intensity of the light?

Cara:
Image

"... Though I suppose that makes it a bit more probable that you're really not here to hurt me, since boy did you come woefully unprepared if you did."

Zena sighed. “Thank goodness.”

“Yeah! I could barely open my eyes!” Anam said. “That’s not fair, you know, fighting your opponents when they can’t even see!”


Cara: "Yes, and that's the point since I didn't want to fight." :|

“My visual sensors were completely shut down,” ADAM said.

Cara beat her wings-ears a few more times. “I’m—I’m so sorry,” she said, slowly descending. “I didn’t mean—”

Anam suddenly went blind to a white flash of light. An instant later, the boom of thunder deafened him, leaving nothing but a loud ringing in his ears. Zena and the others shut their eyes again. ADAM blared an alert signal, but nobody heard it. The ringing faded. Anam tried to open his eyes, but everything hurt when he did, and he shut it again. Something heavy thumped dully a few feet ahead of him. He smelled something burning.

Oh, well that's a good sign right now. /s

Anam felt James grab his arm and tug him back; he fell down and heard another thunderous explosion. If he wasn’t so slimy, his body might have caught on fire. Anam knew not to open his eyes for a while, but when he finally did, through his blurry vision, he saw something black a few paces ahead. There was something glowing in this blackness. A pale, whitish light. It reminded him of the clouds that the bird Pokémon flew above.

Heavy paws walked toward the black thing and the glowing orb. A tiny, gray creature floated toward it next, wrapping it in some sort of cloth. The light vanished. A forceful, invisible blast blew the blackness away like dust. And finally, Anam’s vision—as well as the others’—returned. Standing before them was Espurr Rim—and some… other creature.

Oh, so we are going to have Hunter problems during this Guardian collection arc after all. I was starting to wonder from how much they'd been absence for all the hoopla that there was about them being a danger.
:FearfulMeowth:


Long, black fur along its head, chest, and rear; short, blue fur everywhere else. Bits of yellow in the ears and behind its forelegs, and a four-pointed star at the end of its black tail. But there was something different, too, from how Anam was familiar with the Luxray species. It was bulkier, with intense, sharp eyes and a slightly more elongated muzzle. Its fur stood even more on-end than usual, constantly sparkling with electricity, more like a Jolteon’s fur style. Every so often, they saw black flashes—some kind of dark light, if he had to describe it—accompany this electricity. Its tail was long, and whip-like, like a Raichu.

Oh, hello mutant Luxray thingy.

Anam couldn’t move. He just realized what had happened. That Luxray was the one who attacked—and the Flying Guardian, Cara, was—

Rim vanished with the strange Luxray, taking the Flying Orb with her.

Well. I see that's where the chapter title came from, though I suppose I should heavily take the under on us ever seeing Cara again on this side of the Spirit World, huh?

The Endless Expanse was named as such because, upon entering the field, it was hard to determine where the horizon was. It was a great flatland that had a perpetual, thin layer of water over a field of salt. The water perfectly reflected the sky, blending into the horizon an eternity ahead of them. Every step that Rhys, Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi took into this flatland sent small ripples ahead of them, disturbing the salt on the ground.

Oh, so it's basically the Uyuni Salt Flats:

Image


Will have to keep that one in mind for location design at some point, since that seems like a trippy place to be in.

Gahi’s wings beat rapidly, making the most, but smallest, ripples. Demitri walked beside Mispy, and their steps, with Rhys’, made the most impact. There was no Dungeon here. Instead, the challenge of finding the Ground Guardian came from actually locating him in the completely uniform mirror. It was too large for Mispy to detect a Mystic aura for the whole area, and the same went for Rhys.

Oh, so their strategy for finding this guy is like that one gif from Jurassic Park with the shaking cup of water, huh?

Gahi flew ahead multiple times to get a better visual of the fields for any abnormalities. Each time, he returned with no news, and they advanced forward to continue their scan. Around noon, Mispy started to complain about food, and Rhys sighed and dug through his bag for their rations. Rhys winced when he realized that he also had brought some of the food he planned to use for later.

“GROSS!” Demitri shouted. “What is that?!”

“It’s—it’s leftovers,” Rhys said, holding out what appeared to be a purple lump of… something. “I wasn’t going to throw it away. That would be wasteful.”

Ah yes, Grimy Food. Hope you all brought a Cleanse Orb before putting that in your mouths.

“I think it’s moving!” Demitri said.

Mispy glared as if the purple food had insulted her.

... On second thought, maybe that's not just Grimy Food there. Since... yeah, I think a Cleanse Orb would be a bit inadequate for handling that.
:FearfulMeowth:


“I didn’t intend for it to be for you,” Rhys said, holding the grimy-looking food in his paws. “This will be my meal, then. It’s not as bad as you make it out to be. You may have these instead,” he said, offering Mispy two large apples. Demitri and Gahi took one each, but they stared at Rhys. “What?”

“You’re gonna eat that?” Demitri said.

Rhys: "I mean, I am a Steel-type and immune to poisoning, so..." ^^;
Demitri: "That doesn't mean that you need to put that into your mouth!"
:squirpuke~1:


“Of course,” Rhys said. He then opened his mouth and—to their horror—he downed the purple lump in one gulp. They watched the lump descend into his chest. He cleared his throat. “It’s not very difficult if you know the proper way to eat it.”

“I thought you didn’t need to eat,” Demitri said.

If I’m performing some strenuous effort, I do,” Rhys said, looking ahead. “These past few days have been taxing, particularly after you decided to take on that high-ranking mission into the Southern Abyssal Forest.”

Can't tell if that's an artifact of Rhys being a lesser Mystic or else if that's a limitation all Mystics have when sufficiently overtaxing themselves.

Team Alloy:
:VonVomit~1:

Rhys: "Yeah, yeah, you don't see me judging you for your tastes. And look, it's to help you here." >_>;

“Bah, scariest thing about that place is the rumors, nothing else,” Gahi said. “Okay, I’m gonna fly ahead and scan fer more weirdness, see if we can spot the Guardian, eh?” He flew ahead, having finished his apple.

>doing this in a giant, featureless salt plain where your only guide for relative location is whatever you can see in the distance plus whatever's reflected from the sky

Image


Mispy finished her two by the time Demitri had finished half of his. She wrapped a few vines around his body and pulled him onto her back, where she happily carried him across the salt flats.

Yeah, I knew it. Though I wonder if you knew about the Uyuni Salt Flats specifically when designing this place, or if it's based on something more general.

Gahi flew back prematurely, and his zigzag in the air suggested he actually found something.

“Let’s hurry,” Rhys said.

Gahi descended to their level. Once they all caught up, Rhys stopped, eyes wide.

There were claw marks in the ground that Gahi flew above. The ground was filled with huge fissures from some Pokémon’s attack. There was also a pit left behind in the ground where the Guardian of the Ground Orb likely once was. Some of the pits were still filling, slowly, with water, suggesting that the clash was recent. But for a battle with a Guardian, the struggle didn’t seem to be very intense, all things considered. Even their clash with Valle, while underwhelming on a relative scale, left quite a bit of damage.

Oh, so we're just having all the fails at recovering Guardians this chapter, huh? I suppose it was only natural that the gang's luck would run out, but I wasn't expecting the bad news to heap up this rapidly.

“What is all this…” Demitri said, looking at the ground. The Fraxure couldn’t help but admire his reflection, picking at a smudge on his left tusk.

“Good thing I can fly,” Gahi muttered, looking at his reflection.

“I don’t… sense anything,” Mispy said. The Bayleef had her eyes closed, worriedly scanning for any sort of Mystic aura. If the clash was here, surely the Ground Guardian would be here, too.

Bold of you to assume that there's still a Ground Guardian left, Mispy.

“But it looks like something just got here. There,” Demitri said, pointing at a particularly huge gash in the ground where water was still pouring inside. It was deep, but the bottom was clearly visible and the water level was slowly rising.

They saw something lying in the flat ahead. “What’s that?” Mispy said.

“Let’s look,” Rhys said, running forward. Gahi was the only one able to keep up.

Whelp, I suppose that this is the point where we find out whether or not Kilo still has a Ground Guardian or not.

It seemed to be a small tree lying on the ground, cut near the base of the trunk. “What’s a tree doing here?” Gahi asked. “There ain’t a tree er a plant here fer… I mean, where’d it even come from?”

“This is a Torterra’s tree,” Rhys said gravely. “It grows on their back, Gahi. But for it to be severed like this…”

That... doesn't sound positive for how much longer this 'mon's going to be around.
:copyka2:


The water was covering most of it, but he saw heavy footsteps and multiple, converging imprints of other, attacking Pokémon. Rhys walked along and followed the path. He saw a particularly large pit in the ground—and at the bottom, he saw the victim. “Ngh.” Rhys squeezed his paws, forming little flashes of cyan aura.

We’re too late.”

Gahi, Demitri, and Mispy followed Rhys. “What d’you mean?” Demitri asked.

The current of the water and swirling salt obscured the corpse at the bottom of the pit. Demitri flinched once he realized what he was looking at, covering his mouth in shock. Gahi’s wings fluttered slower, looking for something to do with his legs. Anything but stare at something so morbid. Mispy frowned, pensive, wondering if he died quickly, or if…

Yeah, I knew it. Though I suppose that explains why this guy was called 'Forrest' since that's some punny wordplay there. And that confirms that Cara is just flatly dead from that last scene where Rim showed up.

Rhys fired a few weak Aura Spheres at the ground; salt and sand burst and shifted into the flooded pit, burying the bottom completely. Rhys closed his eyes and lowered his head for a few seconds, waiting for the body to be buried completely.

Then, he said, “It seems that the Hunters have arrived here shortly before we did. Unfortunately, they extracted the Ground Orb.”

“Forrest…” Mispy couldn’t tear her eyes away from the pit. On her back, Demitri trembled, suppressing a few sniffles.

Team Alloy was there when the Guardians started out, weren't they? Since while I was expecting Team Alloy to be shaken, I wasn't expecting them to apparently be able to reflexively namedrop this guy as if they're familiar.

“We… we could’ve saved him,” Demitri said. “If we just got to him a day earlier…”

“A day earlier,” Rhys repeated. “I have my doubts. The Hunters… Could they have been tracking our movements? After we rescued the first three, could they be trying to predict our trajectories, just based on which Waypoints we take?”

Oh, so there are dangers to leaning on the in-setting fast travel too liberally. I hadn't considered that, but it does make sense, especially if there's some way of monitoring them.

But Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi were too dejected—and perhaps, too inexperienced—to strategize in the middle of Forrest’s unmarked grave. Without really suggesting it outright, they all stood there in a respectful silence until the pit completely filled with salt and water.

I’m sorry for your suffering,” Rhys said to the ground, head bowed in respect. Then, after another handful of silent breaths, he addressed Team Alloy. “There’s nothing we can do here. Let’s return home and report to the others.”

Well that's a very particular "rest in peace" message. I wonder if there's a story behind that, since something about that phrasing makes me feel as if there's a story behind how it came to be.

“Should we use our Communicator?” Demitri asked.

“No,” Rhys said. “We shouldn’t lower anybody’s morale. We’re already going as fast as we can; they won’t be able to go any faster than they already are.”

inb4 Anam and his party wind up calling them and promptly nuke their already lousy moods further.

“Okay,” Demitri said. “If that’s the case, let’s just… I mean, yeah. Let’s go back.”

They didn’t want to admit it, but Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi were all still itching for a battle. But in the solemn atmosphere of this lifeless salt flat, there was nothing to fight anyway.

Rhys dug through his bag, searching for their Badge. He dug a bit more. And then more.

“Rhys?” Gahi said.

Rhys looked up. “Where are our Badges?”

Well. Looks like there might be something to fight in that salt flat after all. Since it wouldn't be impossible for someone to sneak up on the gang and pull that off...
:uhhh:


“Oooh… this place is a bit creepy,” Amia said, hugging herself. There was very little light in this mountain’s cave; only by her flames and Owen’s tail could they see the path. The spire itself wasn’t much to look at from outside. It merely appeared to be a giant spike in the ground, perfectly conical with an entrance on the southern side. Internally, it was a great, winding spiral of polished rock.

“I certainly didn’t expect the Spire of Trials to be some sort of literal, ascending spiral inside,” Alex said. “Just where are we going?”

I take it that Manny's a fan of meditation from the described surroundings. Since this feels very "martial artist chilling in the mountains to git gud" in vibe.

“From the outside it looked pretty big. Just a giant spike sticking out of the ground. So maybe we’re heading near the top?” Owen said.

“That’s likely it,” Alex agreed.

[ ]

“Well, I don’t like it!” Willow said, stomping on Owen’s head with her tiny feet. “Owen! You’re going to turn around immediately!”

“I—I can’t just turn around! We’re already inside!”

Another spot that IMO would benefit from taking some time to describe the characters' reactions a bit more, in this case, Willow's reaction.

“Then make it prettier! I need fresh air for my fur! And good smells, too! And light! Make it brighter!”

[ ]

“Mom, help!”

“Willow, dear, why don’t I help make it brighter with my fire?” Amia offered. “I usually do blue light, but would you prefer something like green, or red?”

Same shtick here, especially for selling the sense that Owen's getting a bit at the end of his rope.

Owen: "Please tell me that 'make it brighter' is also going to involve setting her on fire..." >_>;

“Ooo! Make it green!” Willow said, hopping on Owen. “Green reminds me of the fields!”

“Green it is.” Amia smiled and created a small fire bubble in front of them to light the way. This, it seemed, pleased Willow enough to keep her from complaining the rest of the way.

Ah yes, just casually conjuring hitodamas as a glorified flashlight. Though I wonder if these are based off the Lava Bubble / Ember enemies from TTYD, since they came in exactly these three color variations in that game.

They walked quickly, but slow enough that they didn’t trip on anything. By the time they were a quarter of the way up the spire—going in a sort of inward spiral—they suddenly turned to the right and saw a large chamber. Echoes of explosions and shouts and roars radiated from the opposite side. Owen had to concentrate to get a better sense for what the sounds were—it was… something else. Who was that? Those roars didn’t sound normal. They were intense. Too intense for a normal Pokémon.

Mutants. They're from mutants, Owen.

The chamber was at least a hundred of Owen’s Charmeleon paces across. The walls looked like they had been buffered a thousand times over many centuries to get that perfect smoothness, and the same could be said for the floor. But there were imperfections. Cracks and faults, like battling had taken place there before. Still, the arena was empty. They could easily advance. The team of four stepped into the chamber and made it a quarter of the way across.

“Ha HAAA!”

After being so quiet to hear the others, the shout made Owen double over in panic, clutching his chest. Alex made the exact same gesture as Owen. Was it possible to die of shock? Perhaps not as a Mystic.

Well, that's a sign that Manny's probably not dead? Possibly. Maybe.

A spirit rose from the rocks in the center of the arena-like chamber. The Feraligatr pumped his fists in the air. His scaly arms were thicker than Owen’s body, and the same could be said for the bulk of just about every other part of him.

“I am the First Guardian Spirit, Feraligatr Azu!” he shouted. “I am one of three that you must defeat in order to see the Fighting Guardian, the greatest and strongest fighter of the Dungeon!”

I see that Manny must be on the more experienced side as a Guardian if his conjured spirits are capable of throwing down with normal Pokémon like Anam's can.

His voice boomed through the air—Owen wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear him for much longer.

“You, a team of four!” said the Fighting Guardian Spirit. “What a perfect number! There are three of us in all, three Guardian Spirits! As the first… you are to give to me your weakest fighter, and we shall battle! If you lose… then that will be it! And you must turn away!”

Owen: "... Oh my gods, I just realized, we're going to have to make Willow handle the last of these fights from typing advantages."
:mewtwofacepalm:


“W-weakest?” Alex said.

“Wait,” Owen said, tilting his head, “doesn’t that mean you’re the weakest of the three Fighting Spirits?”

“I—eh—” For a fraction of a second, his enthusiasm wavered. “No! I am the most powerful spirit that Manny can summon solid. I am at the perfect strength level.”

Dunno how much of this is being pre-planned by Owen and how much he's blundering into on the spot, but that's definitely a handy way of sidestepping a bunch of challenge fights.

Owen crossed his arms, frowning. “So there are even stronger spirits inside Manny? You’re even weaker than what you said the first time.”

With even more confidence and volume than before, Azu grinned and bellowed, “I am the third in line of the strongest spirits Guardian Manny can summon! I am truly formidable! And so—you shall NOT get to the higher levels without beating me!”

“B-but I’m not that good of a f-fighter, you see…” Alex admitted. “I—I wouldn’t want to…”

Amia: "Alex-ay! Ix-nay e-thay eakness-way alk-tay!" O_O;

“We don’t want to fight Manny. We want to talk to him!” Amia said. “And… what’s that fighting I hear from the rooms above us? It’s coming from ahead.”

“Manny is dealing with a number of guests at the moment. To be another, you must get past me!”

... I like how this guy is just completely unconcerned about what's most likely yet another Hunter ambush in favor of gatekeeping Owen and his party. Talk about having your priorities straight.
:copyka:


“So, they all got past you, too?” Owen asked. “How many times did you already get beaten?”

“My little Charmeleon!” Azu thumped his tail on the ground with a laugh. A few rocks flew in the air, and a few cracks formed on the ground with each scaly thud. “You say such INCREDIBLE things!”

So... I take it that Owen's getting sucked into this fight in place of Alex, huh?

“I—I think what Owen means,” Amia said, “is… if we don’t want to fight Manny, that means we’ll only be doing three battles. So why don’t we start with the second weakest in our group? And then the second strongest, and then the strongest.”

“Ha! Then very well. Which of you is the second weakest?”

“I think that’s Willow,” Owen said without thinking.

Amia:
Image


Willow exploded with electricity atop his head, screeching and biting his horn. She tore off a few scales in the process.

“Y-yow! Ow! No, NO, bad Joltik—” Owen tried to grab her, but she was too fast. She hopped off of him and landed on the ground, skittering around the rocks.

“You’re the weakest! You, you!” Willow screeched and hissed like a feral Glameow. “You have a clever mind but in raw power, you’re NOTHING to me!”

Owen: "Ow! Ow! Ow! Mom! Seriously, how are you just okay with this right now?!"
:grohno~1:

Amia: "Look, Owen. It's for the good of the mission. Just bear with it a little longer."
:gardexhausted:


“But Willow, you’re smaller than my feet!”

Willow sent another volley of thunderbolts at Owen. The Charmeleon hopped in some sort of frantic dance, going from foot to foot on the cold, polished floor. Amia, sighing, rummaged through their bag for an Oran Berry. Willow prepared a great, shining ball of lunar energy above her head—but Owen quickly said, “O-okay, okay! I’ll—I’ll fight first! I’ll fight!”

Smart Charmeleon, there. Even if it took him a while to come to the less painful conclusion. ^^;

The Fairy Guardian let the charging Moonblast dissipate. “That’s better.

Owen sighed. “Why aren’t you bigger, anyway?” he asked. “Can’t you evolve?”

“I look cuter as a Joltik,” Willow said, raising her tiny body upward. “And going forward and backward in evolution is easy for a Mystic. It’s not in one direction with a little divine power!

Aaaaaand there's our explanation for why Owen remembers him and Team Alloy being fully evolved in the past. Or at least I'm pretty sure that's the implication.

“O-oh, okay.”

[ ]

“Stall no longer, challengers!” the Feraligatr said, thumping his tail one last time. “Approach me, witty Charmeleon! I shall show you the superior power of muscle!”

[ ]

“Good luck, Owen.” Amia smiled apologetically, giving him an Oran Berry to fight in top form.

These feel like more parts where dropping in a bit of description to center the proverbial attention on these characters would be in order.

“O-okay,” he said. “I… I’ll do my best!”

With a puffed-out chest and a blazing, red tail, the Charmeleon was ready. But then, during the walk toward the Fighting-Type Feraligatr, feeling the sheer power that radiated from him—despite his bluster, and despite the silly disposition of this spirit… he knew. He knew when he was standing face-to-belly with the behemoth of a spirit. Seeing every detail of his disturbingly chiseled body, his toughened scales, and his impeccable jawline…

Owen didn’t stand a chance.

Owen: "... Crap."
:ohnowen:

Azu: "What's that, witty Charmeleon? Do I hear an offer to forfeit?"
:AlviseDetermined:

Alright, made it to the end, and I suppose I should start summing things up with an old friend of mine for my reviews:

Image


And how. I'll admit, I was kinda caught off-guard by how hard and fast the Hunters became a problem for the roundup of the elemental Guardians in this story, but it did a good job at shaking the emerging status quo up in the story. I might have been getting a bit tinfoil at times, but there seemed to be a decent amount of foreshadowing for where things will wind up going later in the story, which was fun to see, even if I wonder just how quickly that'll become relevant since... yeah, this story is still throwing curveballs on short notice like it's been doing for the past 15 or so chapters up to this point.

For criticisms, I noticed that there were a few spots where there were certain moments where you could kinda piece together what had happened in terms of character reactions or moods that would've been more expressive explicitly showing them off a bit more. There were also a couple of places where I didn't see eye-to-eye on paragraph formatting, but those are all pretty easy tweaks to make if so inclined.

The bigger meta issue that I saw is that part of me wonders if while the "Too Late" was very apt for a chapter title, if the individual losses of the Flying and Ground Guardians would've each had more individual impact were they in distinct chapters from each other. e.x. smash cutting with Cara's death as the end of one chapter, and having Forrest's death in the next since it'd also double as a revelation of what exactly happened to Cara. Even if I'm not really sure what I'd suggest as an extension of the second chapter in that case since it'd otherwise be really short.

Though even what's there seems decently put together, especially since this is ultimately still early on in the story and a stepping stone onto much bigger things in Kilo. Hope the feedback was helpful and fun to read @Namohysip . And until next time! ^^
 
Chapter 174 - Overseer Evaluation

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
Thanks, all, for your reviews! I responded to you elsewhere, but they're appreciated as always.

Chapter 174 – Overseer Evaluation

Ho-Oh was a lot bigger in person.

And imposing. Compared to Lugia, compared to any other Legend he’d met in Kilo, Ho-Oh radiated an aura of someone who… was far more than a Pokémon.

The metal sphere at the top of Citadark Isle was entirely hollow and decrepit. Constant wind and storms wore away at the structure, which had once been some mechanical marvel based on what Owen’s Perceive told him.

The center of the sphere had a distortion. A tiny, concentrated Dungeon that would be their ticket home.

Ho-Oh stood near that entrance, staring them down.

“I’m glad you’re here, Owen and Zena. And you are…”

The Charmander greeted politely, “Mu!”

Oh, good. At least Mu listened to that much. But the way she slouched again, that was probably the most politeness they’d get from her. What happened to that innocent vanilla bean in Alola?

Zena was already guarded. “How do you know our names?” she said. “And… you… you spoke our language. That wasn’t feral.”

Owen blinked. He hadn’t even realized. “What? Ho-Oh can talk?”

Ho-Oh shook his head. “I’m borrowing this body. Ho-Oh and I communicated in a dream and I explained things to him. After realizing the gravity of the situation, as a part of this reality’s pantheon, he allowed me to borrow his body. He is listening from within for the time being.”

“What?” Zena whispered. “What does that mean?”

“Then you’re an Overseer,” Owen concluded.

“The spirit of one, projected into a Legend’s body. But yes.” His expression grew firmer. “…Now, Owen, I’m here because I do not want you reentering Kilo until I perform a brief… evaluation.”

Owen’s tail flame popped. “Like a battle? Against a Legend…’s body?”

Ho-Oh nodded. “Yes. But it is only after we talk about the nature of the fight,” he said. “Owen… do you know why we’re aware of who you are and the world you’re from?”

He could guess a few things… but it was slowly occurring to Owen that what he said might become incriminating somehow. He didn’t know the extent of this person’s authority.

“Your countenance tells me you have more than zero idea,” Ho-Oh said.

Owen hardened his expression. Zena, meanwhile, shifted uncomfortably and looked around to find other things to pay attention to. This great sphere left little to stare at.

Outside, it was beginning to show signs of an overcast afternoon. The winds whistled through cracked and eroded sheets of metal that made up the sphere. A distant rumble reminded them that this was technically an active volcano.

“What do Overseers do?” Owen asked. “Patrol Ultra Space? We were talking to people in Alola about that.”

“Beyond that,” Ho-Oh stated.

“Beyond… Ultra Space?”

“Yes. In your language, I believe the closest word for where I am from would be… the Overworld. In your feral language, I think another term could be the Sky Past All Skies.”

For some reason, the latter made more sense to him. “Beyond everything? What’s… out there?”

“Everything else,” Ho-Oh stated. “And Overseers, of course, are people who watch all worlds to make sure no one world is in danger of plunging others into turmoil. If there is a risk of danger spreading beyond their local network, we step in. Usually with the cooperation of the local gods… I believe you know them as ‘Mew Star’ and ‘Arceus Barky.’”

Mu snorted. “His official name’s Barky.” She turned a page while lounging on Zena’s back.

“Cooperating with them…”

“Yes. The first Overseer we sent to you was Hecto. He acted under the guise of Star's emissary to investigate a... small risk. You see, Star and Barky are very new gods. This is their first world. Templated, even, for ease of creation. But something went unexpectedly wrong and Barky was unable to contact Star. He reached out to the Overseers to investigate; Hecto was who they sent.

“Afterward, we lost Hecto’s signal, so the situation was escalated. The one you know as Valle was sent next, but by the time he’d arrived, great damage was already done. A dark power sent shockwaves from the material world into the divine through Star… and Barky, seeing Star in that state, went into a brief, uncontrolled rage. This led to the destruction of the island you see here, today.”

Ho-Oh gestured around him.

“This island, formerly known as Quartz Isle, was erased from this world’s history. The souls within were rendered ‘missing’ forever, destroyed. That appears to be how this world reacts to… a Lockout. Even if they wished to restore them… the gods would not be able to. When a soul is destroyed in a universe, it cannot return to that same world. The fabric of its reality will not acknowledge it.

“…Or so we thought.”

“Wait—” Owen raised a hand. “But I’m here now.”

“Yes. And I have determined that you are the same soul that had been Locked Out,” Ho-Oh said. “Or, theoretically so. This means you were never destroyed at all like most of the others there, who had to be reincarnated into the world you know as Kilo.”

“E-excuse me,” Zena said, raising a ribbon. “I’m… confused. I don’t know what this ‘soul Lockout’ has to do with… anything here.”

“Of course. My apologies.” Ho-Oh bowed. “Who sent you three to this realm?”

“Necrozma sent Zena and I over,” Owen said.

“Mu came on her own,” Zena added, turning so Mu was in Ho-Oh’s view.

“Yo, bird up.”

Ho-Oh blinked, stoic as ever. “Yes. Bird up. I’m a bird today,” Ho-Oh replied. He then faced Owen and Zena again. “Necrozma might have sent you here as a mercy, though I wonder if it was to make you lost entirely after the same dark force possessed him. But instead, he proved that you were somehow spared from Lockout. Perhaps your proximity to Mew Star at the time of destruction shielded you enough from the blast. There could be others who were similarly spared… and that may have contributed to your latent talents in Kilo.

“Do you know of others with abnormal talent?”

“Abnormal talent…” Owen hummed. “I guess it’d… be the ones who climbed Destiny Tower in the first generation. You know, all the people who were directly reincarnated. I always thought it was because Star and Barky, you know, rigged the ascent so we’d have an easier time. Since we saved them and all that. But… Are you saying there was more to it?”

“I can’t say. It could have been both,” Ho-Oh said. “But… thank you. That may be important information to us.”

“Are you investigating something?” Zena asked.

“Yes. We are specifically trying to determine how dangerous Kilo’s existence has become. So far, two Overseers have lost contact with the Overworld upon entering this network. Each lost Overseer has led to an escalation of this network’s threat level.”

Threat level?” Zena repeated. “Yes, it’s a big threat level—Dark Matter is the reason for all of this happening. Can you help?”

Ho-Oh didn’t reply immediately. He instead turned to Owen. No words were exchanged. Owen knew what would have been said. At this point in the world’s fall… an Overseer’s “help” was not what they wanted.

“We’re going to take care of it internally,” Owen said. “I just finished researching an answer here. I’m confident it will work.”

“Our records show,” Ho-Oh said with a sudden, distant coldness to his voice, “that you have done this before… Usurper Owen.”

“…Usurper… Owen?” Zena echoed. “Because of… how he tried to save Kilo?”

“Usurper is the title, translated, to give an individual such as Owen. It can only be applied to a mundane, ordinary mortal in the context of their reality. Someone with no divine instincts, training, or formal knowledge of the process of creating and maintaining a world. Then, this person, a Usurper, must gain those powers such that it rivals the gods in question, and then undermine the will of that world’s creator.”

The explanation left Owen feeling colder. An Overseer—this authority above the gods—was classifying him as an outlaw. He could sense the weight behind the term, even if it was merely a translation from some unknown language.

“And what happens if the gods are wrong?” Owen asked. “Am I still a Usurper?”

“Yes.” Ho-Oh nodded. “It is merely a descriptor. It can mean several things in context and we consider all of them. But you, Owen… When you undermined the power of the gods, who did you instead side with?”

Owen could sense Zena tensing. She was already preparing for a fight. He didn’t want that. Not against an Overseer.

“I didn’t want Kilo to be destroyed. It’s my home. If the Overseers’ answer to problems is to just… destroy our homes, all these lives that we made for ourselves, I…”

“You’ll oppose the decision,” Ho-Oh completed. “We know. And we understand your perspective. It is a common one. But… you sided with Dark Matter, the entity that is now spreading its influence into other worlds. We need information on what you know about this entity. Our knowledge of how it manifests in this world is limited.”

“I don’t… I don’t have time for that,” Owen said. “I’m sorry. I need to go back to save Kilo. I know that time is flowing differently here, but I’ve already been gone for so long. A whole explanation could take… a lot of time, you know?”

“Seconds are precious there,” Zena said. “A Usurper even more dangerous than Owen could hope to be is already harnessing Shadows for evil. Owen may have made mistakes in the past, but he always did what he did to help people. Alexander, this new Usurper, just wants power for power’s sake!”

“Are you sure of this?” Ho-Oh asked.

The foul look Zena gave Ho-Oh… Owen only saw the Overseer flinch thanks to his Perceive.

“Yes,” Zena said, her voice suppressed and even. “I’m positive. Objectively, he has only caused suffering to keep others down and has absorbed spirits to bolster his power. Owen may reflect powers, but he also tries to empower others when he can. We just spent the last few moons researching ways for mortals to defend against Shadows without us.”

“I see.” Ho-Oh nodded. “We understand your rush. But this will not take long if you consent to our procedure.”

“How long will it take?” Owen asked.

“On this planet’s timekeeping system, it should be done within the hour.”

“Oh.” Owen did some quick mental math. “Well… I guess they can afford to wait thirty seconds or so…”

“Raise your head and concentrate. Act as if you are… opening your mind to someone trying to communicate with you telepathically,” Ho-Oh said. “My colleague is waiting for you to reach out to him. Have you done this before with a deity?”

“Yeah, I talk with Barky that way, kinda,” Owen said. “I’ll try that.”

Owen tilted his head upward. It was a little awkward to do it when there was a decrepit metal sphere in the way of the sky, but that was all in the mind. The connection would work all the same.

Hello? Owen called, expanding his aura like unfurling ethereal wings. He peeled the layers back, searching for something with a sixth sense.

Suddenly, he felt like he was falling.

<><><>​

“Oof!”

And he landed in a very familiar forest an instant later, flat on his back. Gracelessly, he grunted and rolled until he was on all fours.

“Oh, not again,” he grunted. “I’ve had enough mental walkabouts for at least… ten lifetimes at this point…”

A canine Zygarde stood at the edge of the glade behind Owen. Compared to the one Owen knew, this one was thinner and… smiling. And not the creepy smile Hecto did when failing to look friendly, either. A genuine smile.

That alone meant this was a different Zygarde.

“Hey,” Owen greeted. “Are you, uh… the Overseer?”

“Yes!” Zygarde replied cheerfully, entering a sitting position. “I’m happy to meet you, Owen! I’ve read a lot about you in the reports. I know you very well, ah—Usurper may be an intimidating title, but it has a lot of good meanings, too!”

Something about this disturbed him more than most things he’d encountered the last year or so.

“Y… yeah…”

“Hm? Is something wrong? Oh, don’t worry!” Zygarde hopped to his feet. “I’m just here to get information. I promise, none of this will hurt, or harm you in any way! I can’t do that! You’ll shunt me right out!”

“I will?”

“Well, he will.” Zygarde flicked his head to the right.

In the shadows was another dim orange flame. Owen flinched. Wishkeeper? Here? But he was… in him, now. He was Wishkeeper.

“Mental guardian, sort of a representation of your inner psyche. Happens during spirit invasions. No need to worry! I’ll be right out, Mister Guardian!” Zygarde called in a singsong voice. “Oh! Where are my manners? I don’t think I’ve introduced myself. I won’t be here long, but you can call me Bean!”

“B… Bean.”

“Bean!” Bean nodded. “Because my tiny Cell form looks like a bean! And because my real name is hard to pronounce. That’s a translation-friendly name I was told about.”

“Okay. …Is my name weird to you?”

“Ah! I’ve studied this side of the Overworld’s language well enough. It’s not strange at all! But mm, if you ever wanted a name like mine… go for Tamato!”

“Huh. I like those.”

Bean giggled and turned around. “In any case, I hope you don’t mind if I put my paw on a few of these trees. I think they’re abstractions your mind is forming for your thoughts and memories. If you cooperate, this will be a lot faster!”

“S-sure, uh, what do you need?”

“I’d like you to think about everything you know about Shadows.”

“Okay, I can do that…”

And as Owen focused, one of the trees further into the clearing glowed brighter. Zygarde thanked him and trotted over to it, placing a paw at the base of the trunk. The light expanded into Zygarde’s body, whose hexagons flickered rapidly. Owen didn’t sense anything bad happening… He glanced at ‘Wishkeeper.’ He was watching like a silent sentinel, nodding at Owen. He, too, sensed nothing wrong.

“Okay.” Bean pulled his paw back. “Thank you! Now, do you mind doing the same for Radiance?”

The process continued, tree after tree. About Radiance, Dark Matter, Kilo, his time as Wishkeeper, Valle…

“So,” Owen said as they walked, “how often do you do these… memory dives?”

“Ohh… Not too often. I’ve usually been a scout, but I did fieldwork, mostly. Working remotely isn’t my strong suit. I hope this isn’t too slow for you!”

“No, uh, it’s fine. It doesn’t feel like a lot of time is passing…” Owen wasn’t sure how he knew that. Maybe it was some kind of… internal clock in his body or brain? The longer he spent thinking about it, the more he felt a headache coming on. He refocused on something simpler.

“How good are you at fighting?” Owen asked.

“Oh, not the best. I do like a good spar now and then, though. My colleague, the one inhabiting Ho-Oh? Not part of the same… culture.”

“Yeah, I kinda had that feeling.”

“He is trying, though. You know, you should suggest a quick spar with him!”

“How come?”

“It might help him understand you more. He doesn’t realize that Pokémon bond by fighting.”

“Bond by fighting… right…”

Michael mentioned something similar. And that bond, the flow of power, was the basis of the purification circle, too…

“Just one last tree, if that’s okay with you,” Bean said.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Could you think about the Voice of Life?”

“I’ve heard that one before… Right. Hang on.”

Another tree glowed like a torch down a long cave. The lack of birdsong or wind started to unnerve Owen. Did that mean his mind had no wind, either? What did that mean? Or was it because he was holding his breath, nervous?

Why trees, anyway? He was a Charizard! At least have a volcano, or a cool cave, or something… Maybe the Grass Core messed with his mindscape.

As they got closer, the tree’s appearance came into view. And this… was the strangest tree Owen had ever seen.

A tree was an exaggeration. It was like he was seeing the idea of a tree. Hollow, transparent, flat. When Owen turned, the tree turned as if to always face him, like an ethereal cutout that tilted to the angle of his view. It wasn’t there, yet it was supposed to be.

“Interesting…” Bean placed a paw on the idea of the tree, but it passed right through. “The only tree that’s not here.”

“Uhh—what’s… that mean? Am I forgetting it?”

“Oh, you can’t forget things in this state,” Bean replied. “This forest holds all your spirit’s experiences. I’m sure if you walked far enough, you might even find past lives! …If this world has reincarnation, at least. I don’t know that one.”

“Y-you know, Overseers have a bad habit of dropping… really existential things at random,” Owen said. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird to say crazy things like it’s normal?”

“Don’t you do that all the time?”

“What?”

“Hm?”

“…Well… anyway,” Owen said slowly, “what’s with this tree? Are you getting memories from it?”

“That’s just it,” said Bean. “This tree? It represents some segment of your memory that’s cut off. And if I had to check…” Bean scanned the environment around him, hexagons flickering. “This is the last one left. It must be frustrating… I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Owen said. “I… have a guess where it is. So, I can’t recover these memories at all?”

“Not until you find that final spirit fragment. How interesting, though! This reality must be able to do that…”

“Do what?”

“Well, a soul doesn’t forget, and it is immutable. You cannot split or combine them permanently. But within a reality… well, then it would be subject to that reality’s rules. And here, it seems you can temporarily… split it. And therefore, utterly keep some memories totally inaccessible, even here!”

“We’ve had that happen a lot lately,” Owen said.

“Right, right. The Legend halves, yes?”

These Overseers were a little too thorough with their research. Owen wondered if they had a log on his favorite foods, too.

“Well!” Bean grinned. “I hope you find that final fragment of yours. I think I have everything that I need. Thank you so much for your cooperation.”

“I’m, uh, I’m not in trouble, right?”

“Oh, even if you were, we wouldn’t be able to extract you like this!” Bean nodded. “A soul can only exist in one reality at a time. You’re missing a piece! You’re anchored.”

“…That… didn’t answer my question.”

Bean smiled again. “You aren’t, Owen. You didn’t intentionally cause any of this and you aren’t capable of it, either. We don’t try to take people away unless they’re at that level. But… your friend, Dark Matter—”

“He’s going to be better,” Owen assured him quickly. “He’s been working with us to stop his other fragments.”

“Ahh, yes!” Even after getting those memories, Bean sounded surprised when he spoke of it. “Dark Matter, an ally…”

Owen nodded again. “I gave him a tiny piece of light or something. He can change. And… if I can, I’m going to complete that.”

“I see…” Bean seemed contemplative. “Well… That is a surprise, Owen. We’ll watch to see how this goes.”

“What happens if… it fails?” Owen asked.

Bean was fading away as if withdrawing to some other, upper plane.

“The world will be destroyed,” Bean said apologetically. “Now that it’s spreading into this world… we can’t risk much more. We hope, for your world’s sake, your plan works, Owen. There are no more chances.”

Bean seemed… grave. And then he was gone, leaving Owen alone with his mental guardian.

“No more chances,” he repeated. “This… this is it, then. Now or never…”

A great light enveloped the forest. Owen’s body felt weightless. He took a sharp breath… and felt himself wake up.

<><><>​

The thunder was getting closer when Owen awoke on his back, resting his head against Zena. Mu was reading a book and Ho-Oh had gone to meditate near the Dungeon’s rippling edge.

“I’m awake,” Owen murmured. “How long was I out?”

“Not too long,” Zena said. “About… half a kilo?”

“Oh, that’s not bad…”

“Good. You’re awake.” Ho-Oh nodded. “Well, it seems my colleague got what he needed as an update on this world. It seems that the decision is to leave things to you. And if you fail, we will step in to help.”

“And by help,” Owen said, “you mean you’ll destroy the world entirely.”

Zena flinched.

“Wow, that’s metal,” Mu hummed.

“I’m sorry,” Ho-Oh said. “But I believe now you know the consequences of faltering. Not only will Kilo be in danger, but this whole other world and all connected worlds will be in equal danger of falling to the Voidlands. You recognize that if you fail, the only safe option is to eradicate everything and halt the spread. Correct?”

Owen could sense Zena’s defiance surging in her tense body. But she said nothing. Owen wanted to defy it, too. But… what power did he have against someone who spoke so calmly about it?

“Do you not know how to fix it any other way?” Owen asked.

“Not without risk. And we already took that risk with Hecto and Valle. We are… done with risks, should you fail, Usurper.”

“That… title,” Owen said. “If I succeed, what will you try to do with me next?”

“You are observant,” Ho-Oh said, nodding. “But you don’t need to worry. If you properly hand over that power to skilled individuals to rework the reality, all will be well. You can return to your world and everything will return to normal.”

Owen nodded uneasily. “Okay,” he said. “Well… then I need to follow one last thing that Bean asked me.”

“And that is?”

“Can we fight?”

That disrupted Zena’s tense stance. “Owen,” Zena said, somewhere between befuddled and exasperated. “You can’t possibly—”

“No, no,” Owen said, “That’s what Bean said I should propose! To bond!”

“But with an Overseer?” Zena asked. “He apparently isn’t even a Pokémon, you know.”

“He’s one now.” Mu turned a page. “So that’s something.”

Ho-Oh shook his head. “Fine. If Bean asked that… I’ll humor it. But only…” He raised a wing but then glared at it like it was missing something. “…One strike. From each of us.”

“Uh, I’m out,” Mu said, rolling while still reading her book. “I’m, like, still a minor, or something.”

The three adults squinted at Mu, then looked back at one another.

“You’re aware,” Ho-Oh said, “that I’m a Legendary in this body, yes? I’m not aware of my strength as it stands. I could incinerate you where you stand.”

“I think I’ll be able to handle that much,” Owen said. “Zena?”

“Yes. We’ve… dealt with the gods before. We have the durability for it. Even if we’re weaker in this part of reality, I think it will be fine for one strike.”

“Just one, huh…” Owen’s wings drooped. “Not going to be a whole lot we can get through with that, but…”

“We’ll have to put everything we have into one strike, then,” Zena stated to Owen.

“Mm, exactly,” Owen agreed.

Ho-Oh tiredly fluffed up his feathers. “Right. Well, I have not battled in a very long time.”

“Do you… know how to attack?” Owen asked.

“I’m a bird. So, I’d peck at you.”

The hollow metal sphere around them groaned with another gust of wind. Zena gave Owen an incredulous look.

“He’s not trolling,” Mu stated, turning another page.

“You—” Zena squinted. “You don’t know how to use Ho-Oh’s moves, but you took on his body? What happens if you’re attacked?”

“I’m a scout, not a fighter,” Ho-Oh muttered. “Hold on. Let me consult with him.” He closed his eyes.

As Ho-Oh remained still, standing upright yet seemingly unconscious, Owen turned his attention to Mu.

“So, was that cringe?” he asked.

“Supergod Overseer dude borrowing a body he doesn’t even know how to use?” Mu said. “Yeah, kinda.”

Owen nodded. Good. He was learning.

“I believe I learned enough to channel one move for this,” Ho-Oh said, opening his eyes. “Are we ready?”

The energy in the air changed. Mu closed her book and hopped to her feet, lightly jogging several paces away. Zena shifted and tensed her muscles, entering a defensive stance with her feather-fan tail in front of her. Owen crouched and unfurled his wings, readying a shield. It gave himself away, sure, but he doubted Ho-Oh was experienced enough to sense that. It was just one strike anyway.

“Charmander,” said Ho-Oh, “could you call the match’s start?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Mu looked between the three of them. “Ready… go!”

Zena feinted and slithered to the right, distancing herself from Owen. She hid her head behind her tail, looking defensive, when in reality she was charging a Hydro Pump to strike at Ho-Oh’s flank.

Owen kicked forward, uplifting years of dried ocean salt mixed with rust from the ground. He spiraled to Ho-Oh, who deemed Owen to be the greater threat and opened his beak. His wings lit up with divine fire, spiraling around a sphere of heat in the middle of his mouth.

This attack… Owen wasn’t familiar with it. But he knew enough about the elements to copy it all the same.

When Ho-Oh fired, so did Zena, a cascade of water splitting across Ho-Oh from the side, drenching his feathers and knocking several out of their place. The Sacred Fire hit Owen’s swiftly conjured barrier, crawling around it and threatening to burn him even through that. This divine strength couldn’t be blocked by a mere Protect.

Owen landed harshly on the ground, salt crunching beneath his feet, water from Zena’s attack rippling in deep puddles. The fire sizzled in the water and boiled it into steam, obscuring Ho-Oh’s vision. Owen could tell by the way he was squinting.

But Owen held the advantage there. He seized that power, grasped at the threads of aura left behind in the blast, and curled it around his fingers like weaving a string or knitting a quilt. From his chest, he pumped Radiant energy into his claws, then combined it with Shadows.

That same sphere appeared in Owen’s palm, but now it swirled with a vortex of bubbling black and white embers. He hurled it forward like a softball, striking square in Ho-Oh’s chest where the energy exploded into a flurry of fire. Zena’s residual water bubbled off of him in a plume of scorching steam, cutting through his elemental resistances. That did real damage… even against this divine being.

Ho-Oh shrieked in surprise as the vapor dissipated. The dome creaked again, unbothered by their struggle but complaining about the impending storm.

And when Ho-Oh inspected his feathers again and as Zena lowered her guard, the Overseer bird finally chuckled.

“Now, what was that?” he said.

His gaze was… friendlier.

“Huh?” Owen asked.

“Just then. Did you… use some sort of telepathy?”

“No? I don’t know if I can do that to non-Mystics,” Owen said. “Especially not here… Everything’s weaker.”

“What do you mean?” Zena asked. “Do you mean… the feelings through battle, or something?”

“Is that how it feels?” Ho-Oh asked.

Now that Owen thought about it… he only sensed that kind of thing strongly in this world. In Kilo, it wasn’t as present…

“Yeah,” Owen said. “It’s a special property of this world. Pokémon communicate through battle. It’s like a conversation where you can’t hide your true feelings. Like… how I know you’re curious what I’ll do with this.”

“I see… I try to be stoic. I’d almost call it unprofessional.” Ho-Oh said. “But, if we’re being so transparent… I felt something curious from you two. Milotic… From you, defiance, fiery and desperate. You really wanted to hurt me, didn’t you?”

Zena flinched. “I… wanted to defend my world. And make sure I could prove it. If I couldn’t hurt you…”

“…Then how could you hurt Dark Matter,” Ho-Oh completed. “Yes. Your duty is in strength to save a world out of time.”

“I was born there,” Zena said. “Most souls there were. We deserve to defend our home, don’t we?”

“Well said.” Ho-Oh nodded. “And, Owen…”

“You felt…?”

“It’s what I didn’t feel,” Ho-Oh said. “You gave me a blast of energy that used both Shadow and Radiance. Darkness and light. Negative and positive, overflowing in both. In other worlds where we have seen this kind of interaction, it’s been given many names. Nihil, Blacklight… But personally? I would call it Chaos. Two energies not meant to coexist, swirling in a dangerous vortex ready to explode. Shadows pull up all of your doubts and negative emotions while suppressing anything that would have calmed you; Radiance forces your thoughts outward, turning you impulsive and erratic.

“Yet from you, I felt none of that. You have harnessed the power completely… and it does not corrode you.”

“I’ve had… practice,” Owen said. “I’m just a Charizard. But I had time to train with it, even when I didn’t realize it. I’ve been… exposed to that for so long that it’s become normal.”

“Yes. And yet…” Ho-Oh paced. “I sensed guilt. Self-reflection. Excitement… You do love your battles. But most of all…” Ho-Oh’s expression brightened so subtly that even Owen’s Perceive narrowly missed it. “That light in your eyes… it’s just hope, isn’t it? Mundane, simple hope that I felt… even in the face of so many adversaries back home. You’re returning with an answer and a dream.”

“And the sooner the better,” Owen said with a nod. “I hope it’s… enough. I want to fix this. Not just because I broke it, but because Kilo deserves better.”

Ho-Oh nodded. “Then face this Dungeon and pass into Kilo,” he said. “Consider it your final test before you can turn that hope into action.”

Mu jogged over to Owen and hopped onto his tail. Owen flicked his tail, flinging Mu up to his shoulder with practiced ease.

“Goodbye,” Ho-Oh said. “Should you fail, rest assured that your plague will not spread to other worlds. We’ll cut Kilo from its other neighboring worlds and find a way to destroy it.”

“Oh, sure, yeah. No big deal,” Owen muttered. “Just kill us all if we fail…” He understood why. But the Overseers’ perspective was… too insensitive for him to accept at face value. He had no choice but to save the world. Any other outcome was death or worse.

Zena led the charge to the Dungeon distortion in the center of the dome.

Ho-Oh continued. “But should you succeed… Well. Kilo’s fate is not sealed just yet. Good luck, Usurpers.”

His expression became firmer just as Owen walked through the Dungeon’s barrier.

“And I am not cringe.”

With those inspiring words to remember him by, Owen marched through the barrier with Zena by his side and Mu on his shoulder. He was leaving behind his original home, possibly for good this time. And he was returning to the one he’d truly spent most of his life in.

He wondered if his mother would approve of all this. His necklace felt just a little warmer. Somehow, in some way, Owen sensed that he was walking in the right direction.

<><><>​

“They’ve returned,” Barky announced.

CRASH!

Anam jumped in surprise, his slime dribbling all over his work station.

Demitri, behind one of the desks in their makeshift strategy room in Kilo Village, accidentally split the table in two. Hakk, Mispy, Jerry, and Star happened to be in the room with Anam; everyone else was out doing fieldwork with the stabilized zones in anticipation of Alexander's reawakening.

Demitri tried to push the splintered pieces of wood back together. It wasn’t working. “S-sorry. You startled me…”

“That table was elementally reinforced,” Hakk whispered. “How’d you split it like a toothpick?”

“Barky’s voice is super intense…”

“Wait, what did he say?” Star asked, lounging in a bubble of psychic energy while poring over documents of Dungeon findings. “Barky! Who’s back?”

“Owen, Zena, and Mu,” Barky said. “Gather everyone. I’m currently figuring out where he is… I need to return to Destiny Tower to get communications running.”

“Yo, wait up!” Star said, disappearing and reappearing on Barky’s back.

“What’re we planning on this end?” Jerry said, standing up straighter. “We don’t even have a tenth of Kilo back to normal. How can we even get Owen here?”

Skitter, skitter… Willow zipped into the building. “Nate says Owen’s back!”

“Yes. We know,” Barky said. “…Wait, why does Nate know already? Can he sense his life force, too?”

“How should I know?!” Willow growled. “What, you want me to ask that, too?”

“…Yes, actually. I feel as though Nate is keeping something from us when we can’t afford any variable to be left unknown.”

“Oh.” Anam shifted nervously. “…Um, I’ll go with you, Willow.” Anam had a feeling that Willow wouldn’t be very good at getting the information that was important…

“Get Diyem if you need help,” Barky dismissed. “We need to do our part to secure Owen.”

“O-oh.” Anam played with his feelers. “Okay.”

“Now then, Jerry…” Barky addressed the Aerodactyl again. “We’ve been coordinating with Owen on just where he’d enter. I can sense his presence and we’ll work from there,” Barky explained. “It should be another Dungeon near a powerful aura.”

“…Couldn’t that be Ghrelle?” Jerry said.

Barky closed his eyes. “I’ll let you know if it is through Willow. But I’m hoping not. Star?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Good luck!” Anam called. “I’ll, um, I’ll see Nate!”

And yet, not one empty street later, Anam stopped and waved at an incoming, gigantic leviathan made of darkness and eyes.

“Hey, Nate!” Anam called cheerily. “Thanks for letting us know about Owen!”

I’m going to head to Zero Isle Spiral.

“Huh? How come?”

I… need to meet Owen there.

Anam tilted his head. “So… Owen, Zena, and Mu turned up in Aramé’s place?”

The leviathan’s great five heads nodded.

“Um… okay. But, that reminds me, um, if it’s not too much… why do you need to meet him? Barky said, um… you know, that you know more than you say, so…”

Oh. I thought nobody noticed. I’m sorry.

Anam tittered but didn’t press more. If he did, he might upset Nate…

Okay, Nate said. Since we’re already so close… I’ll talk about it. But first, let me show you something…

Nate extended one of his heads forward. Anam leaned in, curious, as a golden mote of light flowed through that blackened body.

Anam gasped. “But that’s…!”

<><><>​

Warm, tropical air mixed with salty ocean scents. Sunlight bathed Owen, Zena, and Mu with liberating energy. It felt like an oppressive force had finally been lifted.

Owen deduced this was them returning to their proper domain, where they could use their full strength uninhibited. This was unmistakably Kilo.

But it was also still a Dungeon. Tall corridors made of seashells and stone mixed unnaturally with wood and grass sprawled in all directions. A mysterious force kept Owen and Zena from flying too high above them. Thankfully, there weren’t hostile, feral Pokémon, or even wraiths to bother them.

The walls of the Dungeon glowed a gentle cyan.

“This energy,” Zena said. “Is this a Mystic Dungeon?”

“We’ve never been in one with this kind of climate, though,” Owen said. “Unless…”

“We never entered the Dragon Dungeon,” Zena said. “Could this be it?”

“The Dragon Guardian, Aramé. And the final Divine Dragon…”

Mu leaned back while atop Zena’s head, grasping Zena’s horn to keep from falling completely over. “Well, that means we can go through easily, right?”

“Yeah. Let’s find the distortions. We have to go through it to get out.”

It was only a short walk. A few turns led them to one distortion, then another, and soon they found an empty chamber that had fewer strange walls. A stable zone.

Owen sighed. “Finally,” he said. Just as he passed through the stable zone, Zena and Mu disappeared from his Perceive. This was normal; his Perceive couldn’t go past distortions.

The problem was when they didn’t follow at all.

“Zena?” Owen said dumbly, realizing his voice wouldn’t carry through. He knew not to pass through again—that could send him to a random part of the Dungeon again. “What’s…”

He focused harder on his Perceive. Nothing, no living creature other than himself. He tried to ignore how much faster his heart was beating. After spending so many months with Zena and Mu in relative peace, the two suddenly being gone was shaking him.

No. He had to stay calm. He had to trust that Aramé was still an ally. Barky didn’t warn them about anything like this, after all. And he’d surely know after that Ghrelle incident.

His Perceive instead caught a note in the middle of the chamber, recently written and fresh.

“Please leave your horns in the basket before passing through. They are not allowed for this final test. Replacements have been crafted for you.”

Nearby was a basket with two horns that looked a lot like Owen’s, though he could tell they were made of clay.

It was a trap, but a telegraphed one. Whatever test he was going to take couldn’t be seen through his Perceive. Some kind of illusion, maybe? That in itself was a hint…

Owen sighed. If he disobeyed, he would probably be attacked. Could he defend himself?

No, that wasn’t what he had to be concerned about. Zena… Mu…

Barky, Owen thought gently in prayer, I’m here and in the Dragon Dungeon. Zero Isle Spiral. Aramé is asking me to remove my horns and proceed through her test.

I’m going to follow through with it. If you think I should fight back, if you think this is a trap… give me a sign.


Even across dimensions and within a Dungeon, Owen knew Barky would hear him. That mysterious connection the gods left behind was enough.

And for a while, Owen waited patiently. He watched the skies. He felt for tremors. He checked for glows.

Nothing came.

Maybe he should have asked for a sign if he should proceed. But… admittedly, he did not know if disturbances could go through. So instead, he called one last time. I’m going forward. If you didn’t want me to go, I couldn’t hear you. Send rescue if I’m going into a trap. Wish me luck.

Barky could have sent him word back, right? Or… was that cut off here? Aramé was strong. Supposedly the strongest Guardian.

He wondered why Aramé never fought alongside them.

The clay horns fit surprisingly well and felt cozy in their sockets. He left his true horns behind and hoped they would be returned. If not, Nevren had said they’d regrow after a few days…

But he couldn’t afford a few days anymore, could he?

Logically, this was a bad idea. Aramé could be a traitor, somehow. But his instincts told him it would work out. He knew Aramé from the past, vague memories of Wishkeeper informing him that Aramé meant well.

So, he put his faith and trust in her as he walked through the distortion.

The colors swirled, the labyrinth returned around him… and a strange light shone on the far side of the hall.

Owen’s arms tensed, ready for a Protect—but he’d been too slow. The light became a beam before he could react, slamming into his forehead.

“Aghh—”

He shambled forward a few steps and leaned against the wall. “What… what was that?” he huffed, trying to see more than a few feet in front of him. Darkness crept at the edges of his vision…

And he passed out.

<><><>​

Salty air. Tropical warmth. He remembered those. He remembered going on a mission for… something. He had to get back home to Hot Spot.

Right. He remembered that. Gods, he remembered a lot of that. And he knew he was prone to losing his memories. The pang of annoyance that followed informed him he lost them again.

“Alright,” he muttered, groggily standing up. “I fell for… a trap… Hello?” He squinted, rubbing his throbbing forehead. He took several more breaths and did a body check. Tail, blazing. Wings, a little stiff but fine. Arms, legs, doing well. Belly, a little overweight. He looked a little like a normal Charizard again.

Fine enough. Grunting, he got to his feet and stomped down the hall.

It was a labyrinth, a Dungeon, so there was a way forward somewhere inside.

Not five seconds later, he heard the sound of a small Pokémon sniffling. His nature took over. Someone needed help!

“Hello?” he called again.

The sniffling stopped.

“It’s alright. I’m here to help. I mean, I didn’t know you were here, but…” He walked down the nearest twisted corridor.

Just around the corner, in a small room, was a Charmander with his back turned to him. On Charmander’s back was the mark of Necrozma, a little birthmark like a vertically stretched star.

“Oh, hello,” he said gently.

Charmander, startled, sprang to his feet and took on a defensive stance.

“I-it’s okay, it’s okay!” He raised his hands and folded his wings back. “Are you… are you okay? What’s your name?”

The Charmander kept his guard up a while longer. Then, seeming to lose his will, he plopped onto his rear again, head down. “Owen,” he said quietly.

“Owen…” He didn’t know that name. “My name’s Charizard. Just Charizard. May I sit by you?”

“Sure…”

Charizard gingerly approached and took care not to shake the ground when he took a seat.

“Okay, Owen,” Charizard said gently. “What’s bothering you?”
 
Chapter 175 - Reflection New

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
Chapter 175 – Reflection

Charizard let Owen talk as much as he wanted. He babbled on about his friends and family, how none of it was real. Something about it felt so familiar to Charizard—he knew, for sure, that he would be able to help him. A lot of Owen’s struggles felt so familiar to him.

Owen told Charizard how he’d been lied to by everyone he knew. That his memories, everything he was, had been constructed by them so he’d fit into a certain role, and be none the wiser.

He spoke in excruciating detail about the supposed crimes he’d committed. Murders, really, of an innocent family. How he was supposed to be a weapon, and then he was erased so he could be some loyal soldier instead.

At that point, Charizard felt like it was a little too familiar.

“Owen, that was your name, right?” Charizard asked.

“Mhm.” The Charmander nodded. “At least I have that. My name hasn’t changed…”

“Right… You know, Owen, I don’t remember having a name for myself, but—” Charizard nodded. “You know, I wonder if Owen used to be my name.”

“Huh?”

“We’re too similar. Almost like…”

Their eyes lit up as if they had come to the same conclusion.

Charizard exclaimed, “We’re from different times!”

“Yeah! You’re… me! from the future!” Owen beamed. “But… But that can’t be right. I read all about this in the comics. Wouldn’t this cause a huge paradox?”

“Yeah, I don’t remember meeting me at this time… and I don’t remember my name being Owen, either…” Charizard crossed his arms.

Owen mimicked the pose. “…Were we split? How come you’re here, anyway?”

“I was… coming here to… do something. I think I had to return home to report on… some research. But… I can’t remember what that research was…”

“Maybe it’s a Dungeon trick. Right?”

“Oh, so you know you’re in a Dungeon?”

“I—” Owen flinched. “I… I do… but that’s not right. I thought… I was in Hot Spot…”

“Hmm…”

Owen shifted uncomfortably. “W-well… it’s…”

“It’s alright,” Charizard said. “We have to get through this Dungeon, right? I entered it to take a test. Maybe… you’re part of that.”

But there was a haunted look in Owen’s eyes. Charizard tilted his head. “You okay?”

“I… I don’t know,” he said. “I—sorry. Can I just… follow you for now?” he asked. “I need to think…”

Lacking his Perceive was making this part tricky. As far as he could tell, Owen was real. Yet he had a name, and Charizard had no memory of that whatsoever.

“Come on,” Charizard said, holding out his hand and crouching down. “Hop on my shoulder. It’s probably a long walk.”

“Oh—thanks.” Owen hopped on, tittering nervously. “I never got to ride on a Charizard before… They’re rare in Kilo, you know?”

Charizard marched along, leaving a mark in the stone in case he ever got turned around so he didn’t retread old ground.

“You won’t be alone forever,” Charizard said, resuming their conversation from earlier. “It’s going to be hard to trust your family again after this. But I think… you’ll see that they did a lot of it to protect you.”

“Does that make it okay?” Owen asked.

Charizard sighed. “Normally… no. But because of what you are… I think… I can’t blame them for what they did. It was a necessary evil to make sure I could heal. They didn’t know how to fix me.”

Owen’s shoulders sagged. “…I don’t… I don’t know what I’m supposed to be mad at. Or… if I’m supposed to be mad. Or if it’s just how things are… I don’t… I don’t understand…”

Charizard reached up and gently patted Owen on the shoulder. “Work through it. But don’t take it out on people. I think… what helped me was when I framed it a little differently. Instead of thinking about who to blame and who to be mad at… I instead thought about how I should treat others who were involved. And what I should be careful about next time. Is there anyone you want to avoid forever now?”

Owen looked down. “…I… I don’t think so. I don’t want to push anyone away. I’m just…” He shook his head. Owen didn’t know how to articulate himself. Charizard remembered the feeling. And when he was like this, Owen had been desperate to lean on someone to trust again. The smallest hint of forgiveness, of a path forward… Had Owen fallen for the wrong person, there was a chance he’d’ve fallen into the same torment again.

“If you don’t want to leave any of them,” Charizard said, “it means you think they had your interests in mind. But you don’t want a repeat, right? So… what will you do differently so they can’t do that to you again?”

“I’ll… I’m gonna ask why they do the things they do,” Owen said. “And if they don’t give a reason, or… if I think they’re lying…”

“Don’t trust them,” Charizard completed. “That’s a good start. I think it worked out for me. But I’m still learning, too.”

“Even now? But you’re…”

“I’m big now, yeah,” Charizard said. “It’s going to be a while before you can… be confident people aren’t always lying to you. Or if they only lie sometimes. But… sometimes, you have to think about why they might lie. And if they have no reason…” He shrugged. “Trust them.”

“So, use… logic to figure out if they could lie?”

“And make sure they can prove it if you think they might,” Charizard said. “But… don’t get paranoid. You can’t be alone, either.”

Owen rested his chin atop Charizard’s head. “This sounds impossible. How am I supposed to catch all of that?”

“You won’t,” Charizard said. “But I think… we aren’t surrounded by evil liars. Not everyone wants to use us for our power. It’s going to be okay, Owen.”

Owen seemed unconvinced, his little claws tense against the top of Charizard’s head.

“Yeah,” Owen finally whispered. “I hope so. But what do we do now?”

“Let’s keep going,” Charizard said. “You have my name. I have your future. Maybe we’re supposed to go together?”

“M-maybe…” Owen winced. “But… but I took your name. What if… what if you’re supposed to take it back?”

“No,” Charizard said firmly. “I won’t do that. Right now… you need that name more than I do.”

“I do?”

Charizard nodded., nearly tossing Owen off his head before catching him. “You’re me at my lowest. When I was… lost. The only thing I could trust was my name. So… even if I found a way to take it from you, I don’t want to do that. Not until you can stand on something else. Sound fair?”

“Okay…”

In their silence, Charizard wondered what this test was supposed to be and if he’d done it correctly. Nothing special happened between himself and Owen, despite surely them being the same person. He felt real. Yet without his true horns, he had no way to tell if that, too, was some elaborate trick.

As he walked to the next layer of the Spiral, Charizard had nothing but hope that he did the right thing.

<><><>​

Milotic gently guided a sphere of water down the corridors of the Dragon Guardian’s domain. Within the sphere was a starstruck Feebas named Zena who watched in awe at every graceful gesture Milotic made to guide the sphere forward.

It was more comfortable for Zena that way.

“I really get to be as pretty as you?” Zena asked.

“Yes,” Milotic said with a light chuckle. “And you find a beautiful, strong Charizard, and court him.”

“A Charizard?” Zena said with a grimace. “But then I’ll go somewhere all fiery and dry…”

“It’s not so bad,” Milotic said with a small laugh. Being around a little Feebas… She felt herself straightening her stance and talking with a more formal cadence. Maybe it was an instinct to encourage her to evolve one day.

“Sorry,” said Zena. “Guess it wasn’t… who I was expecting.”

Milotic smiled warmly, thinking back to what Zena’s fantasies must have been. But just as they advanced, she stopped what she was about to ask. Someone was slithering up ahead and she felt an intense aura of power. Another Guardian?

The glow in this part of the Spiral was stronger. The tree roots that intertwined with the dirt of the labyrinth walls radiated an indigo sheen. When Milotic ran her ribbons along them, she felt the ethereal flames of a Dragon singe her like a bowl left on the fire.

And then, a second Milotic slithered into view of the first. Her gaze was fierce, searching for something to attack. Whatever grace Milotic had, this frenzied one did not, and they locked eyes.

“You,” she hissed.

“M-me?” Milotic said.

“Where is my name?”

Without realizing it, Milotic slithered in front of Zena. The Feebas, in response, hid behind Milotic’s tail fan along with her bubble.

“Who are you?”

“I also don’t have a name,” Milotic said. “So… we’re both Milotic. That will get… complicated.”

The angry one stared back, looking more and more agitated.

A thought crossed Milotic’s mind. This one’s name was ‘Fury.’ Or… how she thought of her.

Fury slithered until she was only three feet away from Milotic. “You… you’re me, aren’t you?” she said. “Who, then? What… what part of the Dungeon’s test are you?”

“…I don’t know,” Milotic said carefully. It was unnerving to see someone just like her look so…

“Was it Star?” Fury asked. “Was it any of the gods? Is this another test of theirs, toying with us to prove what they were given by chance?”

And then Milotic understood who Fury was. To see it out in front of her in full display, all those inner thoughts and bitterness…

It was… embarrassing. But she agreed, in a small way, with how she felt. In the past, she would have agreed so much more.

“It is,” Milotic said. Zena nervously shifted in her water bubble. “We need to figure out what it is, but right now, I don’t think we should try to weaken one another. We should—”

“No!” Fury cried. “No more. No more games, no more tests. We… tear it all down! Do you understand me?”

Milotic hardened her expression. “Now is not the time to fight the wrong gods. We can deal with them and their unjust actions later. But we need to fight Dark Matter now. Do you remember?”

“They’re all Dark Matter,” Fury hissed.

“…It’s not that complicated,” Milotic said. “Please, just work with us here, and—”

“You’re with them,” she suddenly said.

“What?”

“You’re…” She coiled up. “You’re just another god now. You’re with them!”

Milotic was losing her patience. This ball of resentment wasn’t learning.

“Fine,” she said. “Wallow here. I have things to do. Come, Zena.”

“O-okay.” The Feebas nervously pushed her water bubble with Milotic.

Fury stared icy daggers at them. “I won’t… I won’t let that happen,” Fury whispered. Her body glowed, a pulse of light rippling up to her neck. Mist formed in her mouth, coalescing into a glowing ball of water.

Fury unleashed her Hydro Pump square at Zena’s back. Zena squeaked in surprise and closed her eyes.

A wall of water erupted from the ground behind Milotic, deflecting the Hydro Pump effortlessly. Once the wall dissipated, the water rained down in a heavy storm.

Fury yelled something at her; Milotic couldn’t hear it over the downpour. Water flowed down Fury’s cheeks and ribbons, but it wasn’t enough to wash away her anger.

Milotic waved her tail in the sky and conjured her training techniques while in Alola, where water was abundant. Three spirals appeared above Fury, each glowing with a similar watery sphere. Without any thunder, three columns of water shook the earth and drowned out Fury’s scream.

The downpour was brief. The sun returned as the rain lightened. The wind, though, was still too shy to return.

All that remained was a small crater filled with water. Mist obscured most of it, but a little ball of cyan energy floated just above the water’s rippling surface. It was the last remnant of Fury, the fragment of her spirit filled with the pain inflicted upon her by the gods.

Reluctantly, she cupped the orb in her ribbons and searched for where her bag might have gone. The downpour had loosened it from her body; she found it on her midsection and awkwardly pulled it back up.

“Rest for now,” Milotic said, unsure if Fury would hear her. She placed the little spirit orb in the bag and slithered on.

“Milotic?” Zena asked, her ball of water larger from the rain. “Am… I going to be like that one day?”

Milotic sighed. Being someone’s future… What a strange burden.

“It will get better,” Milotic said. “Come. I think there are still more tests to do.”

“Okay…”

They left the waterlogged corridors behind and passed through another distortion.

<><><>​

“Now,” Charizard said slowly, “will you behave?”

A crazed Charizard was trapped inside a golden Protect bubble, pressing his face against the edge of the barrier to get as close to Charizard as possible.

“Your neck is expossssed,” he hissed back.

The feral one—whose name occurred to Charizard as Wrath—clawed uselessly at the shield. Owen hid behind Charizard’s left leg.

“It’s because we aren’t enemies,” Charizard said. “Calm down! You don’t even have Perceive—look at your horns!”

“I can smell it,” Wrath hissed. “I see how weak you’ve become!”

Just capturing him had been an ordeal. Talking to him…

“Is that what I used to be?” Owen squeaked. “I r-remember… I used to evolve and go crazy… Was I like that?!”

“No,” Charizard said. “Not exactly like that. I… I know what he is. But… you realize you can’t win against me, right? I’ll always be on my guard if this is how you behave.”

“You’re afraid to kill,” Wrath said. “What is your answer… when you face someone who will not answer to peace?”

Wrath’s eyes darted to Charizard’s chest, then his neck, then his belly, randomly. All weak points he could strike. Wrath was hungry for any blood and battle.

It was his Battleheart at its worst, corrupted and twisted by Nevren’s experiments. His ‘kill mode’ given conscience. That small piece of him that tempted him every time his Perceive wandered to the weak points of his friends around him.

Charizard’s concentration lapsed. Wrath smashed through the Protect and beat his wings, flying back.

“Hey!” Charizard shouted.

Wrath flew down the hall.

“Wait! Get back here!” He flew after him and followed, kicking up dirt and sand from the Spiral’s coast that had gotten caught in the distortion’s twisted dimensions.

Just around it was a ripple into the next segment. Owen had gone too fast to halt his momentum—once he passed through, he put up a shield on reflex.

Nothing attacked. Wrath must have gone to a different segment.

He forgot Owen.

Charizard gasped and spun around—but the ripple was gone. He’d already entered the next section.

“No…” Charizard sighed. “He… he’ll catch up. We’ll meet at the end. I gave him a pep talk, right?”

Nobody answered him.

“Oh… I’m talking to myself again…”

Sighing, Charizard spun on his heel and crossed his arms. He swayed with the momentum of his tail.

On one hand, he could wait and listen for people passing through the same section. On the other, they could have already passed by or—worse yet—be in a parallel path of the Dungeon’s twisted space.

Staying was too risky. He had to advance. There was no time for setbacks.

Most of this section was a forward movement with only a few short corners to turn. Mentally, Charizard tried to keep a map of the section and marked a few spots on the wall in case he passed by them a second time.

But, to his surprise, he never had to. It was a straight, albeit winding, shot.

It was starting to unnerve him.

For about a minute, he continued his advance. Then, suddenly, he swung his head back. He shouted, “Hey, there you are!” and ran to someone who wasn’t there.

And panic set in. Charizard did not mean to do any of that. He was no longer in control of his body.

“Yes,” Charizard said. “I thought you’d gone ahead. I waited a while for you. Are you alright?”

Nobody answered. Charizard tried to move any part of his body. Nothing worked. His muscles didn’t respond in the slightest. It wasn’t like trying to push against a wall. His arms, his body, refused to acknowledge his mind’s wishes. His body was not his own.

“Right,” Charizard said. “No, sorry. He’s probably still ahead. Stay on my shoulder again, alright? Keep close.”

He reached down for something. He balanced nothing on his shoulder. He turned around and slowly walked onward.

This was a nightmare. He couldn’t control anything. He was a helpless passenger as someone else moved his body and talked to people who didn’t exist.

“He’s… someone I don’t ever want to be again,” Charizard said. “But I need to keep that power in mind. It’s… useful.”

He turned his head away and clenched his jaw.

“Sorry. I know,” he said. “It’s not your fault.”

Charizard tried to puzzle out what part of the test this was, what cruel joke Aramé played for him. When he couldn’t move his body, what could he do? Use his mind?

Up ahead, the hallway led into a cave lit by glowing crystals, just as bright as a full moon. A great expanse of brown rocks and patches of sand and grass dotted a chamber about fifty feet across. On his right, there was a tall mirror from the cave’s floor to ceiling, making the whole room look twice its size.

“Whoa,” Charizard said. “I’ve never seen a mirror this big before. Have you?”

“No,” Charizard heard another voice—muffled, on the other side of the mirror.

He saw himself and his eyes widened. He wasn’t sure if that was his motion this time—he’d have done the same. His reflection had Owen on his shoulder, even though he did not.

Owen pressed against his reflection’s cheek. “Why am I not there?” he squeaked. “Am… am I not real after all?!”

Charizard approached the mirror at the same time as his reflection.

“No, that can’t be it,” Charizard said. “It must be some kind of… trick mirror, or something. Or an illusion. Without my Perceive, there’s no way to tell…”

Both Charizard tapped a claw on the mirror.

“Solid,” they both said. “Huh, a bit of an echo, too.”

“Well, it’s a cave.” Owen reached for the wall but his little arms were too short.

They both smiled and leaned closer to the wall.

Owen rapped his knuckle against the mirror.

It sounded different. To Charizard, it sounded like it was coming from the other side. Because it was.

This wasn’t a mirror. It was a glass wall. And he…

He was the test.

“Hmm,” both Charizard said. “That didn’t sound right.”

“I thought so, too,” Owen said, tapping again. “Doesn’t it sound like there’s nothing behind the wall?”

Charizard tapped the wall again.

“It’s different when I do it.”

Charizard already knew the answer. Or… No. Was he Charizard? Or was he Reflection?

He was… Reflection.

“Hmm,” Reflection said in tandem with Charizard. “I don’t know for sure, but…”

Owen suddenly punched Charizard in the face. Reflection felt nothing, but flinched with him.

“Ow! What was that for?” They rubbed their faces. “Good arm… Didn’t know I had that as a Charmander…”

“His cheek didn’t move!” Owen declared.

“What?”

Owen pulled at Charizard’s cheek, stretching his lips.

“Hey!” Charizard slurred. “What are… you…”

Reflection’s face hadn’t distorted at all. Owen let go.

“It’s… not a reflection,” Charizard said, pressing the mirror. “Okay, you can stop now. We solved the puzzle! Why don’t you… I don’t know, be your own person, now?”

Reflection wasn’t freed. He could cry, but his eyes wouldn’t respond.

“Maybe we have to break the mirror,” Owen said. “Um, wall. It’s just glass, right?”

“Felt like it,” Charizard confirmed. “I don’t think it’s reinforced, either. I don’t sense any aura in it. Mundane glass.”

“I wonder if it’s made of the sand in the area,” Owen mused absently.

“Well, let’s test it out!” Charizard said. “Er… wait. If we both smash into it at the same time, what happens? Would it… not break? Or collapse?”

“Umm…” Owen tilted his head.

They paced around, puzzling about the answer. Reflection could only do so uselessly. He didn’t know what an answer was. Even if he did, how would he convey that to them? He was at their mercy. He was the test to solve.

“Oh!” Owen perked up. “Throw me at it!”

“Oh!” Charizard nodded as hope welled in Reflection’s heart. “Great idea!”

They took a few steps back. Owen crossed his arms, readying a Protect. He shaped it like a cone, trying to give it a sharp point at the end. Then, with the winds and a strong wingbeat, Charizard threw Owen as hard as he could at the glass. Reflection mirrored the motion, feeling no weight behind it, and somehow didn’t stagger as he followed Charizard’s exact movements.

CRASH!

Deafening cracks echoed across the crystal walls. Shards of glass bounced off the ground in a cacophony of skull-rattling noise. Owen kept his Protect up until the last of the glass fell around him. He winced at the sudden obstacle around him before getting an idea. He recast Protect, this time on his feet, and stepped back to Charizard.

Reflection still couldn’t move without Charizard.

“Hmm… Well, he’s real…” Charizard crossed his arms and blew some glass shards away, creating a cyclone. Reflection managed the same until the glass was a thick line that split the room in half.

“Okay… Parallel work…” Charizard and Reflection then worked together to push most of it left and right, creating a proper path between them with the winds. The remainder wasn’t much against their scaly feet, though Owen hopped on Charizard’s shoulder for safety.

Face to face, Charizard and Reflection held their hands up and reached forward.

“I think even the glass wasn’t perfectly symmetrical,” Charizard said. “So maybe this isn’t a perfect reflection, either. I’m right-handed. That means…”

Charizard held up his right hand. Reflection, therefore, held up his left.

Their palms slammed into each other. They pressed as hard as they could… at equal strength.

“Ugh!” Charizard stepped back. “Okay. So, he’s left-handed.”

“Well, he’s a reflection… I guess that makes sense.” Owen tittered. “Um… So, that wasn’t a true mirror, so that wasn’t bad luck, right?”

“That’s a human-origin superstition,” Charizard said. “Besides, Star said luck doesn’t exist.”

Owen circled around Reflection thoughtfully. “Still,” he said, “there has to be some way to free him. Maybe once you get him out of this area, he’ll be free from its curse or something?”

“Maybe,” Charizard said. “But if that’s the case… we’d need a way to get him to move with us into the next hall.”

Owen looked down at Reflection’s side of the room. “There’s another hall right there, though. Can’t we go through normally?”

He ran to the other exit where the cave opened again, but suddenly skidded to the spot when the crystals on Reflection’s side—and only Reflection’s side—lit up. They spontaneously burst, scorching the ground with dragon energy.

“Gah!”

Anything that stood in the burning path would be obliterated… There were even little craters where the crystals had exploded.

Meanwhile, on Charizard’s side, a message made of light appeared on the ground.

Owen shakily distanced himself from that side and approached the message. “Light the crystals to match the pattern.”

A pause.

“I think we were supposed to read this first.”

Charizard rolled his eyes. “Well, we found another solution. We need to get our reflection on this side. I think I know how. You could move me but not him, right? But you can move him, too?”

“Oh, yeah.” Owen ran to Reflection and pulled on his wing. It, of course, moved, while Charizard’s did not. When Owen let go, the wing organically returned to Charizard’s position again.

“…Owen, can you make a Protect barrier so he’ll back into it?”

“Sure.”

After quickly erecting a barrier, Charizard stepped back. Reflection’s back pressed against the barrier painfully, but he couldn’t move more. His legs continued the motions to walk, pushing dirt and leaving marks on the ground.

“Okay, drop the barrier!” Charizard called.

When he did… nothing changed.

“Yes!” Charizard’s eyes lit up. He triumphantly walked forward again. Reflection mirrored the motion—and, for the first time, he was on the ‘other side’ of the room, their new center displaced far enough into the other room. “Now we have a straight shot into the next section!”

“Perfect!” Owen said, hopping onto Charizard’s neck. “Let’s hope he’s free once we’re out of this section…”

Reflection hoped so, too. His heart was hammering in his chest…

Wait. But that didn’t happen before. Was Charizard also anxious?

“Yeah. It’ll be just fine,” Charizard said. “Let’s go!”

They left the crystal “mirror” room behind. One step at a time, until the rippling distortion was a step in front of them.

After one moment’s hesitation, they walked through.

And Reflection screamed, crumpling to the ground, flailing his arms and legs in complete hysteria.

“Whoa!” Charizard yelped, rushing to his side. “Hey, hey! Are you hurt? Do you need to go back—”

“NO!” Reflection cried. He scrambled away from where the distortion had been.

“O-okay! Okay, okay, breathe, calm!” Charizard said. “It’s not like you go backward in a Dungeon like this anyway…”

Owen hid behind Charizard. Reflection moved his wings, pressed them against his back, and then unfurled them. All his. All his own. He could move. He was free.

“You can move,” Charizard whispered. “It’s okay, buddy. Wow… Uh… Owen? Let’s rest here a while, okay? We—”

Reflection lunged for Charizard, squeezing him in a tight hug. “Thank you,” he shakily repeated, over and over.

“Come on,” Owen said gently. “We can rest here. Yeah?” He looked at Charizard with pleading eyes.

“Yeah. We… can rest for now. But let’s listen for Wrath, too.”

Reflection continued to sniffle. The worst of it was over, but he was still shaking. There was a lot still on his mind, but… at least he was free.

He wondered what horrible test awaited them next.

<><><>​

Milotic was getting deep into the Spiral. With Fury in her bag, Zena nervously taking up the rear, and her impatient Mirror next to her, it was beginning to feel crowded.

“That puzzle took way too long,” Zena complained. “I know it was to trade time for care, but… how does that apply to real life?”

“Well, I’m thankful I was worth more than your time,” Mirror scoffed. “…It did take a while, though.”

“I’m sure it would have gone faster if we realized the crystals lit up in a set order sooner,” Milotic said.

“Or that there were hints on the walls for what the colors should have been,” Mirror added.

“Or that they said different things on her side…” Zena glanced at Mirror.

The two Milotic sighed at once.

“It’s behind us now,” Milotic said.

“Such a cruel test,” Mirror muttered. “I have a thing or two to say to Aramé once we’re across the way… Am I real? Some construct? Or a fragment of you?”

“Oh, believe me,” Milotic said, “whatever you are, I’ll be mad for you.”

Zena nervously shrank back.

“Oh, Zena, it’s fine,” Milotic said. “We aren’t always upset. Not anymore.” She unconsciously held her bag with both ribbons. Fury’s mote was warm through the bag.

“…The turns the Spiral’s been giving us have been much sharper,” Mirror said. “I think we’re getting close to the center.”

“I’ve noticed that, too,” Milotic said.

“Ah!” Zena rolled her bubble forward. “Look!”

Finally, the spiral led to another enclosed space. The darker rocks and dried coral made it seem like this was an undersea cavern that had been pulled to the surface long ago. It was too dark to see what was inside.

On guard, the trio passed through and waited for their eyes to adjust to the dim glow their bodies naturally gave off.

Ancient stalactites and stalagmites lined the edges of the cave. Mystic, glowing water flowed down the middle, both marking their path and providing a little light as they went through. A light at the other end of the cave was their goal. The sound of flowing water on a shallow river calmed their spirits. It smelled fresh—not like the ocean’s spray, but of a forest’s river mouth.

Something shifted to their right.

Milotic and Mirror immediately went on guard. There, towering over them, was…

“E-Emily?”

Both readied attacks as Lugia stood to her full height, wings outstretched.

“Wait,” Lugia said slowly. “I’m not here… to fight.”

Her voice was about as deep as Emily’s, but the cadence was much more formal and slower. In fact…

“You’re… you’re me?” Milotic said. “A Lugia? What… what ‘version’ of me are you?”

Lugia smiled. “You catch on fast,” she said.

The blue columns along her spine glowed. At the same time, certain rocks peppering the floor and ceiling lit up the same way, providing ample light to see Lugia fully, along with the gentle glow her eyes always gave off.

“I am your last self in this Dungeon before reaching your culminating test,” Lugia explained. “Unlike all of you… I was informed of everything in this Dungeon. And it seems… you were able to bring most of you here.”

“…I had to defeat one,” Milotic said. “She was too… unstable. Not someone I would want to bring with me.”

Lugia nodded solemnly. “Admittedly, I predicted that would happen. I am you, after all. But… I am who you could have been. I am your ideal. I am… the answer to what would have happened, had you made choices to avert your regrets. And in a way, your future, for something you could become next.”

Milotic scoffed at first, finding the assertion laughable. But after that reflexive response, she thought about it a little longer.

“But I never had the opportunity to become Lugia,” Milotic said. “Only… to work alongside Emily, yes. We were friends. But…”

Lugia tilted her head. “You were friends with Lugia. You became the Water Guardian. But… for some reason, it seems that you wish you could have been a guardian of the seas just as Emily was.” She shook her head. “Sometimes, regrets and desires are not logical. I am simply what you want to be.”

“Fury would be mad to meet you,” Zena remarked. “She hated all the gods.”

Lugia nodded. “It might have been a hard conversation.”

Mirror and Milotic admitted the cave ceiling. Between the stalactites glistening against the light and the speckled rocks embedded all over, it reminded them of a nighttime sky.

“I could see some ways this could happen,” Milotic said. “I could have taken up the mantle if I’d sensed something was wrong with Emily. Maybe as a Legend, I would have had more power to… contend with so many of the other powers at play. And I’m… so… normal.”

She thought of Owen and his seemingly endless pasts. Of his peers, all Legends, former Legends, humans… Such long histories of power.

And her? She was just a mortal who was lucky, or unlucky, enough to stumble upon the Water Orb. She had no special, lost past. She had no grand talent or secret tie to Kilo’s formation. She was just Zena, a Milotic who didn’t like to socialize and wandered into the pit where the Orb had been resting.

Was Lugia, then… her envy?

“Are you ready to continue?” Lugia asked. “The final part of this long trial is up ahead.”

“Yes. It’s… not a fight, is it?”

“No, no.” Lugia smiled. “You could have gone through this whole Dungeon without fighting, with some luck.”

“Hard to believe that one,” Zena said. “That one Milotic was too angry to cooperate.”

“Ah… maybe not possible for us. But others who pass through. Those with less conflict in their hearts.” Lugia gestured for them to follow. “Come. It’s just ahead.”

As they slithered to the cave’s exit, the section’s distortion right at the passageway outside became visible. With some conflict in her heart, Zena passed through to the final trial.

Unlike every other chamber before, this one looked more like the inner sanctum of some kind of ancient temple. Pillars divided a central chamber into twelve segments, each one with inscriptions that seemed to be tales from the Book of Arceus. Above each pillar was a statue depicting a set of Legendary Pokémon, or a singular one. In the back, the Creation Trio made of marble stood on the left side of Arceus made of gold. On the right side was the Divine Trio, with Zekrom of Ideals, Reshiram of Truth, and Kyurem of Decision.

Milotic remembered reading these tales. Where the Creation Trio were meant to be the emissaries of the great laws of the land, of the fabric of reality, the Divine Trio were representatives of what mortals would make of those laws. Universal laws, and societal laws. Kyurem was meant to lean one way or the other based on the nature of mortals…

What was this trying to tell them? Milotic figured this was part of the test, even as Lugia led them to the back of the chamber, facing Arceus.

A message in bright platinum lettering greeted them.

“Please go here,” Lugia instructed Milotic. “Read it aloud for everyone.”

Up close, Arceus’ statue was very detailed, yet she also saw signs of it being handmade. And of solid gold, too… or maybe merely coated in gold. Or a Dungeon conjuration. Anything could happen in here, as far as Milotic could tell.

The message read: “In this chamber, you must come to terms with yourself and consolidate your spirit. Only one, with the aspects of the remainder, may pass through the final gateway. Choose two aspects to discard into the forgotten back of your mind. They shall stand before Zekrom to be removed. Choose two to keep in the forefront of your thoughts. They shall stand before Reshiram to be remembered. The one who remains shall march onward as the ideal self. They shall stand before Kyurem to confirm your choice.”

Milotic read it over a few times, trying to fully understand what it meant. “Two to discard, two to remember, and…”

Lugia nodded. “One who remains. To pass this trial, you must bring all of us within you in a certain way and become the ideal self. Or…”

For a moment, Milotic had a realization of what Lugia was going to imply. Her body felt colder.

“You choose someone else,” Lugia said, “of these personalities conjured from the Dungeon, from within your mind, to take your place.”
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. quilava-fobbie
  5. sneasel-kate
  6. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, took me a little while to get to things, but I do have a triplet of chapters to start reviewing from HoC, and this next one up looks relatively short and IIRC is pretty pivotal to the early plot, so let's just jump right in with…

Chapter 15

“Where in the world is…?” Rhys felt around for his Badge, but it was missing.

“Rhys? What’s taking so long?” Demitri asked. He stopped walking; his natural density made his feet sink slightly into the salt, which floated like clouds in the crystal-clear water. Distracted, he wiggled his claws, letting some of that salt dance around his toes.

“I am certain I brought my Badge with us,” Rhys said, opening his bag further. “I always keep it right in the inner front pouch, the sole item. I felt for it on the way out! In fact, it flashed upon us leaving the Dungeon and entering the main salt flats.”

Yeeeeeah, I stand by my assertion from last time that Rhys in the gang are significantly less alone than they think they are. Since this smells a lot like someone pickpocketed his bag.

Mispy tilted her head, staring at her reflection in the water. Not a bad look. It was a bit distorted from the ripples that Demitri made, and the ones from Gahi’s wingbeats. She brought a vine out and grabbed Gahi, holding him steady; that made it easier to see herself. She couldn’t wait for the time when her little buds would bloom into huge petals. Meganium were so pretty. She had seen one walking through town—she couldn’t believe what the amazing flower her species was able to grow!

Priorities, Mispy. Though I suppose that that's a sign that this scene's going to be written from her perspective.

Gahi protested being ‘monhandled, but eventually relented and looked at his reflection, too. He started by inspecting his wings. As a Flygon, they were going to get a lot bigger. Demitri was rubbing his tusks, wondering what it would be like once they became full-fledged axes like his evolution’s.

Aha, I see that you use s / man / 'mon terms in this story as well. Though I suppose that this is a sign that the rest of Team Alloy is also starting to get some of their memories of their prior "cycles" in life back.

“Rhys, you sure you didn’t drop it in the flats?” Demitri finally said, looking up. “The warp pad isn’t too far off. Let’s just walk back. We’ll get home by sundown.”

“Nrgh. But I know I had it… but yes. Let’s go. We need not waste extra time searching in this expanse. We can have Nevren track its location later.”

Image


Since... yeah, I'm not convinced at all that this is something to just be shrugging off right now.

“Right. Okay,” Demitri said. He looked around. “Wow. It’s really nice, though, isn’t it? It’s so… big!”

Indeed, now that they weren’t in such a rush, they had the opportunity to actually take in their scenery—now that they were turned away from the carnage, it was a reflective surface on all sides. Curiously, Demitri lightly—from his perspective—slammed his fist in the salt, creating a huge ripple in the water. The quake of his punch made Rhys and Mispy stumble. The water’s ripple went out, and out, and out; it brushed against Rhys’ feet, making little disturbances in the waves, and then continued outward. Everyone, even Rhys, took a moment to admire the sight.

Wait, Axew can learn punching moves? Or is that supposed to be one of Demitri's "weird" things kinda like how Mispy has her aura sensitivity?

“It is,” Rhys said. “But… it is a bit unnerving. A salt flat of this size.”

No, that's also a thing in nature given that there's a place just like the one the gang's presently in that's over 3900 square miles in size.

“Aw, it’s pretty!” Demitri said. “I mean, you can see your reflection perfectly in thi—Rhys?”

The Lucario had abruptly turned around. His paws erupted with aura embers, and he was ready to lash out at any threat. “I believe I found my Badge.”

There was a strange creature flying a stone’s throw away from them. A Ninjask at the base, in addition to its pointy, serrated-looking legs, it had an additional set of limbs that resembled a Scyther’s scythes.

Oh, hello there, mutant Ninjask thingy.

“I don’t think Ninjask’re supposed ter be here,” Gahi said. “Heh… weird. Wait. Ain’t their legs s’posed ter look a little different? And only have two of ‘em?”

“Weird, hm,” Rhys said. “That’s one way to express it, I suppose” Rhys briefly scanned the Pokémon’s aura. He couldn’t quite place it at first, but then— “Demitri. Mispy. Gahi. Stay behind me.”

“Wha—”

Cue the incoming attack in 3... 2...

The Ninjask vanished from view—and reappeared right in front of Rhys an instant later. It moved incredibly quickly—even faster than a normal Ninjask. It shoved its right, serrated limb right into the Lucario’s gut. Rhys grunted, eyes bulging. He jumped away and clutched at the wound, forced to a knee in the water. Crimson splotches faded into the salt. The trio stood in stunned silence—it all happened too fast.

Good thing that he's Mystic and can come back from this... I think.
:copyka2:


Gahi reacted first. “Mispy!”

“Right,” Mispy said.

She retreated to heal Rhys’ wounds. The strange Ninjask rushed forward. Gahi spotted this and countered with a deft shift in the air, ramming into the Ninjask to intercept the blow. Gahi heard a grinding noise that vibrated against his exoskeleton, followed by a shallow, sharp pain where he made contact.

“YOW!” Gahi shouted, flying away to get some distance.

At first I thought that that was Metal Sound, but then I realized that that was specifically described as hurting, so I'm not really sure what the mutant just did there.

“Gahi?!” Demitri didn’t know which way to run.

Some of Gahi’s tiny scales were torn away—the Ninjask had an extremely jagged exoskeleton of some kind.

“Rough Skin?” Demitri said.

Ohhhhh. Yeah, I overlooked the part about Gahi ramming the mutant. Yeah, that would explain things.

Rhys grunted, his wound healed. “Be careful!” he wheezed. “That isn’t a normal Pokémon! It’s—a mutant, but…”

The Ninjask rammed at Demitri, attempting the same attack that it had done to Rhys—but his scales were too tough, and it only resulted in a minor wound. He countered with a powerful chop to the creature’s side, using both his arms and his hefty tusks to deliver the blows. Demitri felt his scales get caught on the Ninjask’s outer shell. He hissed and clutched his hand. It tingled—in fact, it felt like it was starting to spread.

Demitri:
Image


Demitri recognized this feeling. “I—I think it poisoned me!” he shouted, stumbling back.

“Poison Point?” Mispy squeaked.

“Nah, that’s definitely Rough Skin!” Gahi shouted back. He then retched into the water, finally feeling the effects of the poison.

Is this going to be like the DS PMD games where Pokémon have all their abilities at once, just applied to mutants? Since just saying, it wouldn't be the first time "multiple abilities simultaneously" has happened in official media.

Mispy ran toward Demitri, readying another Heal Pulse to help him—if only to heal the damage, if she couldn’t get to the poison. But when she tried… something blocked it. The pulse was emitted, but then it faded away, like a dying candle to the wind.

Rhys closed his eyes and immediately spotted the source. “Rim!”

Well, looks like I popped that TF2 gif a bit early, and yeah. I knew that Rhys got pickpocketed, and Rim certainly has the ability to plausibly pull that off.

The Espurr was glowing with a dark light. Its aura radiated from her center, filling the atmosphere with a weak, ominous tinge—Heal Block. Mispy’s powers were useless.

Mispy: "Great, any other cheap and hax tricks you want to throw around right now?" >_>; Rim: "Gladly."

The Ninjask zipped toward Demitri again, slashing at his back. The arms tore through his scales with ease, ripping a few right out. He shouted in pain and spun around, but was too slow. It was already chasing down Gahi, who flew higher in the air. The Ninjask was faster and slashed at his tail.

“Nrgh—!” Gahi spun back and puffed out a plume of foul, blue breath at him. It grazed the Ninjask enough for it to back off and fly down again, freeing Gahi from the pursuit.

I will defer from commenting on bug anatomy right now other than that if playing things to the hilt for bug anatomy, depending on where on said tail the mutant hit Gahi, that'd be a very
:riooflu:
experience.

“Rrrgh!”

Gahi tried to ram into Rim, but he hit her barrier instead. The pulsing sphere around the Espurr rejected his advance. The impact alone made a loud, ethereal clang, bending one of his wings oddly. The Vibrava was then blasted back at the same speed he’d approached with. He slid across the ground and tumbled into a pile of wet salt.

IMO, this works better with Gahi's dialogue split off from the rest of the paragraph, though I winced after reading what happened to his wing. Especially knowing that he (probably) has an exoskeleton.
:wincepix:


His wings twitched; Gahi tried to free himself from the pile. In the meantime, Mispy charged her Solar Beam; Demitri ran toward Rim next, slamming his fist against her barrier.

Bet you can’t handle—Brick Break!” Demitri announced, slamming his claws down hard. The light flashed—flickered—faded… and then returned. “N-no fair!”

Gahi: "Demitri, yeh do realize that Espurr are Psychic-types, right?"
:what:

Demitri: "Look, it's still a tough attack, okay?" >_>;

Rim’s eyes glowed a bright purple. A force that seemed to bend the light itself blasted Demitri backward. The Fraxure slammed Gahi back into the pile he’d just escaped from.

Demitri: "... Ow."
:LiamDed:


“N-now!” Mispy shouted.

She fired
firing a concentrated blast of solar energy from around her neck, concentrated forward. Rim turned her head, staring at the light. The beam bent around her barrier—flashing, flickering—but it didn’t fade. When the Solar Beam finally subsided, it left behind a V-shaped carving in the salt behind Rim. Water slowly filled the gashes, but the Espurr herself was completely unharmed. Not even wet. Her wide, yet neutral eyes stared emptily forward, through Mispy.

“B-but…!” That attack always worked!

Mispy: "Er... yeah, this is about to be a really, really painful experience for me, isn't it?"
:uhhh:


“Leave us, Rim!” Rhys said, though he was currently dueling with the Ninjask, careful to only use indirect attacks against it. In this case, his only effective move was a ball of white, hard light—a Flash Cannon. “You already have the Orb!”

Rim stared at Rhys and blinked once, slowly. Then, she turned her head toward Mispy. The Bayleef flinched. That one moment of hesitation earned Mispy a Psychic blast.

she Mispy screamed and skidded across the salt, bouncing over the salt flat like a rock over a river. She hit Demitri and Gahi, who had both clambered out of the pile seconds before. They all grunted, buried once again. The Espurr, floating over the water, went higher, staring at the pile. Her eyes glowed. Psychic energy twisted the salt around them; all three roared in pain. It was like they were being crushed in the palms of a giant.

I see that things are going well™️ at the moment for Team Alloy. Part of me wonders if the second paragraph works a bit better cut up someplace. My reflexive thought was where the semicolon was, but I suppose there are other potential places that might also work well.

Though wait, what powers has Rim absorbed for her to just casually grab all that salt with her mind and use it to attempt to crush those three to death?

“Rim!” Rhys shouted.

The Ninjask doubled back and flew toward Rim, flying behind her obediently.

Rhys fired a Flash Cannon directly at her; she turned her head and deflected it with a glance. That was when Rhys realized that, in his current state, he wouldn’t be able to overpower her. He considered going all-out, unleashing his aura in full. But that would only give him a few moments, at the very most, to defeat Rim. It wouldn’t work, and he’d only strain his aura to the point of passing out. And then what? He was already injured. His guard had been down. Careless, careless!

Yeeeeeah, this sounds like it'd have been a good time to pull out some sort of cheap Wonder Orb to incapacitate these two, grab your badge, and blip out ASAP.

The Lucario grunted. “Y-you’re becoming quite powerful,” he muttered. “How many Orbs have you claimed, Rim…? How many have you relinquished to Eon?” Rhys hoped that his words would distract her long enough for the trio to recover.

It didn’t. Rim stared at the pile of salt and blasted again with Psychic. They screamed. Mispy panted. Demitri tried to help them out. Another Psychic—salt flew in the air, mixing with water. Rhys brought up an aura barrier to block some of the water from splashing against him.

Rim—STOP!” he roared, using a vertical Extreme Speed to leap high in the air. Rim blocked him with her barrier; he landed in the salt, feet stuck too deep. “Ngh—”

He fired at Rim from below with everything he had. Aura Sphere—Flash Cannon—his two ranged attacks, but neither had any effect. The barrier was just too much.

To answer the question, Rhys, at least two more than whatever you're presently suspecting. Though I see that he kinda epically failed his persuasion check there.

“Rim—you can’t keep doing this! If you do, they’ll—”

Rim blasted them one last time—and then… they stopped screaming. Instead, they all roared—in unison, in anger, in frustration, in madness. The salt blasted away with a great wind; the water rippled, splashed, and rose in tiny droplets. Rhys freed himself from the salt—but then, abruptly, felt a sharp pain in his back.

Ng—!” He lost all feeling in his legs. He fell forward, wheezing. The water around him reddened rapidly.

Is- Is she forcing them to evolve? Since I can see that comment that Rhys is making there.

The Ninjask flew toward the trio next, but was blown away by the force. Rhys stared in pain. A blinding, white light emanated from all three of them.

The light of evolution—and then… a flash of black.

Well then. Guess we're not wasting any time at all ramping Team Alloy up to their final morphs. Though I can already tell that Owen's going to be saltier than this flat they're all in once he finds out about this.

Owen left an Owen-shaped hole in the wall. He coughed and collapsed on the ground, barely able to stand. This, for quite a while, was his fight with Azu. It was a bit too dark to see the ground. Thankfully, the Feraligatr spirit had a slight glow to him that added to Owen’s fading fire. If this was how strong a summoned spirit was, just how strong was Manny? He was glad that he didn’t have his bag with him. While he couldn’t use Nevren’s Eviolite to his advantage, it also didn’t get in the way while he fought. Instead, he had set it aside near Amia and the others, so the only thing that would break in the fight would be his bones.

Well, I suppose that confirms that Manny is really, really tough as a Guardian given that his spirits are also capable of fighting directly like Anam's.

“HAHAH!” Azu boasted. “And before you blame the Type Advantage, little Fire, I’m pure Fighting in this spiritual form! These muscles don’t lie!” He flexed, striking a pose that emphasized his right side. A few loose pebbles blew away from the resultant shockwave of his pose.

Oh hey, it's like that Machoke animation that shows up in some earlier Pokémon games. I actually wonder how much Azu resembles one with his swoler-than-normal build.

“Ngh… that… that hurt!” Owen said, struggling to remain stable. Azu’s posing was both annoying and distracting. He leaned back and held the rocky wall behind him, glancing at the imprint he left on the wall. The rocks must have been a bit soft. Surely, he would’ve died from something like that normally… or he wasn’t giving his durability enough credit.

It's the properties of being a Mystic, I can already tell. Especially since "surviving making a crater on impact" is decently common in Dragon Ball.

“No pain, no gain!” the Feraligatr said. “Such a wonderful motto! I have no idea where Guardian Manny learned it, let alone Master Yen, but he is surely one of the greatest fighters alive!” He pointed a claw at Owen. “You can’t hope to face him with your puny strength! I can feel it!”

Just saying, you missed a chance to lean into Azu's physique and go with "No pains, no gains" as an incredibly lame pun given that he seems like the type who'd know bodybuilding lingo.

“Gooo Owen!” Willow said, crackling near Alex’s feet. It made the Magmortar flinch. He quietly inched away while the Joltik leaped high in the air, flashing yellow and white light.

“Y-you can do it, Owen!” Amia shouted from the entrance to the arena. “But—don’t push yourself!”

Owen: "Gee, no pressure right now."
:ohnowen:


“What’s that supposed to mean?” Owen said. He saw a fist flying toward him—he ducked and rolled. He felt the shockwave of the fist to the wall; a hole was left where Owen’s head’s imprint was. “Are you crazy?! That would’ve hit me right in the—I could die!”

“What’s death to someone who died?” the Feraligatr laughed. “That’s meaningless to me! Perhaps if I kill you, I’ll see you again in the Fighting Orb!”

I like how this is the first fight in the gauntlet.
:copyber:


Though wait, the other Orbs can draw in the spirits of Pokémon who've already been inside one? .-.

“S-sorry, but I have some things I gotta do here, first!” Owen said.

“Hah, and don’t we all?”

Azu swept his tail, knocking Owen off of his feet. This was immediately followed by an uppercut. The combination of downward gravity and an upward fist knocked all of the wind from the Charmeleon; he coughed and flew through the air. His back hit the ceiling—and then he crashed down onto the ground. Owen could barely breathe, let alone stand.

Image


“Hm, so that is the extent of what you’re capable of,” Azu said, stomping toward him. With a light push with his foot, he rolled Owen onto his back. The Charmeleon’s tail was barely alight.

“Owen!” Amia cried.

“Don’t you dare hurt him more!” Willow crackled enough to illuminate the whole cave.

Owen: "Oh great, so Willow has feelings for me. I... really, really did not need to know that." >_>;

“I won’t,” Azu replied, crossing his muscular arms. “He’s done, anyway.” He faced Amia and the others. He boomed triumphantly, “As per the rules, you can’t advance. Come back when you’re stronger!”

“B-but we have an important mission to take care of!” Amia said. She held her arms out, pleading. “We—we need Manny to come with us, so he can be safer!”

inb4 Manny comes tumbling out the door mid-battle with a mutant. Since I'm pretty sure that he's also relevant past this point in the story, but Owen and the gang clearly aren't getting past this one in the intended fashion.

“Why would he be safer with people who can’t even defeat me?” he asked. “Your first fighter surrendered before he even entered the ring. And your next fighter…” He looked back at Owen, who was back on his belly, holding himself up a few inches from the ground.

Well, he’s out of his league, too. I wouldn’t exactly call that reliable. You two don’t have very strong fighting auras, either. You’re nothing to Manny.” There was a wave of seriousness over his voice. But it washed away just as quickly. Seconds later, he had a toothy grin. “So begone, and challenge me again when you become stronger! Ha!”

Wow, rude. Even if I suppose that in normal times that that would be a pretty effective means of crowd control.

I do wonder if enough is happening here with Azu's dialogue and these little micro-actions such that it'd work better split into two paragraphs.

The Charmeleon stirred. “N-no,” he said. “I’m… I’m not done!” He hacked and wheezed, and then stumbled to his feet. His legs shook like autumn leaves.

“Oh?” Azu asked. “Hah. Your body is not ready, but your aura is strong! But you cannot win, Grass Guardian. Leave and return later.”

“I won’t!” He rushed forward and tripped on his broken leg, yelping.

:PainedCabot:


Yeeeeeah, that's quite a bit worse than what I was initially expecting Owen's condition to be. Guess Mystic abilities only go so far.

“Hmph,” Azu said. “You fight like a spirit.” He picked him up by the horn. Owen’s body dangled limply.

“Ngh… and what’s that supposed to mean?” Owen’s arms twitched—he was trying to punch, but his body simply wouldn’t listen.

I'm sorry, what. Like if that remark wasn't just a throwaway putdown of how Owen's fighting is comparable to a normal spirit's versus a standard Pokémon...

“Spirits don’t have bodies to worry about. They fight with disregard for their wellbeing.” He let go, dropping Owen on the ground, where he managed to stay standing.

Yeeeeeah, I'm keeping an eye out on Owen and his other attributes in the future, since I'm pretty sure that comment by Azu was significantly less pithy meta-wise than how it was initially presented.

“Guess I like a good fight,” Owen growled, wobbling.

He spat an Ember right at the Feraligatr; he blocked it effortlessly with a flick of the wrist. He countered with a powerful blast of his focused, fighting spirit, aimed squarely at Owen’s chest. The losing challenger roared and skidded back, holding the sphere in place. But it wasn’t stable—the launched Focus Blast exploded in Owen’s hands, propelling him into the wall again. Like a ragdoll, Owen hit the ground, eyes blazing.

Amia cried, “Owen! Stop! Please!”

Owen, don't make me break out the Sonic movie meme again. Even if at this rate, you probably are going to die... Again.

“I can do this!” Owen roared back.

He was missing a tooth, wobbling back to his feet. Adrenaline pumped through him. He didn’t feel any of the pain anymore. He knew this feeling. So familiar—so exhilarating. He was fighting to the death. He knew this. He’d die if he lost. And he’d never flee. This target would fall—or he would. Why did these thoughts fill him so naturally? It was logical to surrender. Tactically, he was being allowed to leave to return later, to win. But he couldn’t flee. He just couldn’t. He had to fight. He had to win. He had to kill.

Owen:
Image

Amia: "Oh. Oh dear..."
:uhhh:


Owen’s vision was reddening. He growled. Molten embers dripped from his mouth, melting the rocks below.

Amia covered her mouth. “No…”

“You still challenge me?!” Azu said.

Damn, that gif comparison is shaping up to be really fitting in live-time. Um. There aren't any bucolic villages nearby this trial ground... right?
:copyka2:


Owen ran toward him and launched a concentrated jet of fire, turning the whole arena red for half a second. The flames enveloped the Feraligatr, but he punched through it and hit Owen in the stomach. Owen growled and opened his mouth, chomping down on the arm, breaking through the scales.

“Grah—persistent Pokémon, I’ll give you—THAT!”

With his other arm, he punched Owen away. Yet he didn’t let go. His jaw clenched even harder, and he took the arm with him. It dissolved into a flurry of blue aura flames; Feraligatr’s shoulder looked like it was on fire from the missing limb.

Yeeeeeeah, I can see why Amia was afraid of letting out whatever it is inside Owen in full if this is what it looks like coming to the surface.

He stared at his erupting shoulder. “Heh… well. Guess y’got me there,” Azu said, shrugging with his remaining arm.

Owen growled and shambled toward him again. His arms dangled wildly below, but his legs, despite being broken, carried Owen step after clumsy step.

“Not gonna fool me again!” Azu said, spinning around.

His tail slashed at Owen, knocking him over. Owen got up and rushed again. The tail swatted him away. Owen got up and rushed again. And again. And again—he just kept coming. He didn’t stop—his stamina was endless. He’d fight himself to the ground. There was no pain. No fatigue. He didn’t even hear Amia crying for him to stop anymore. His vision was completely red. Running on instinct. There was something ahead of him, Azu, and that was all he knew. The target. It had to fall.

Oh yeah, this is totally normal and not unsettling and concerning at all there.
:FearfulMeowth:


I'm not sure just what on earth is inside Owen that's gotten him into this berserker state, but boy is this familiar right now.

A final punch from the Feraligatr did him in, and knocked him down completely. Owen’s body, regardless of what he couldn’t feel, was broken.

“Ngh,” Feraligatr said. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh… but he wouldn’t stop!” he tried to explain to Amia, who was watching Owen intently. “What?” he asked. “Hope you brought Reviver Seeds! He’ll need ‘em!”

Owen's about to pull some horror movie shtick and just abruptly jerk up off the floor, isn't he?

Azu scratched the back of his head, laughing, trying to lighten the mood. His laughing was deterred somewhat by the look in Amia’s eyes. There were tears, and behind those tears, wide eyes of fear. But it wasn’t toward Azu.

The cave glowed again. This time, the glow was white. Azu turned around. “Eh?”

Ah yes, we're getting all the evolutions this chapter, I see. Though wait, I just realized, but how is Owen able to see all of this from lying on the ground?

The cave was filled with the light of evolution. Owen’s body grew. Wings sprouted—his tail lengthened, his flame an inferno. A horrible roar filled the cave walls.

A black flash corrupted the light.

Image


Well, not really since there's two short scenes right after this, but let's see where those go.

“Owowow… Owen! What’s wrong with you!”

“S-sorry!” Owen rushed toward Demitri, helping him up.

“Hahahahah!” Gahi teased. “Ol’ Scalebag really had it coming to him, eh, Owen?”

Ah yes, more preincarnation visions, or whatever it is these are. It's from an effective past life, so good enough.

“Gahi…” Mispy growled.

“Aw, c’mon, Mispy,” Gahi said. “Just playing.”

Oh, so Mispy and Demitri were lovers even back then, huh?

“Are you okay?” Owen asked.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Demitri said, nodding. “I hope I didn’t break one of my tusks…”

Right, that's a thing that can happen canonically. Even if I'm guessing this setting has a workaround to such breaks being permanent as Haxorus.

“I’ve got it,” Mispy said, washing him in healing light.

“Aw, thanks, Mispy.” Demitri said, perking up. “Hey! Why don’t we fight again?”

Someone chuckled from the sidelines. “Still looking to fight, are we?” Rhys asked. “Your endless energy is encouraging. If only I could say the same for myself.”

Oh, so Rhys has been the babysitter for these four for a while now.

“Ohoho!” A Torkoal beside Rhys chuckled. “At least you can fight, Rhys. I just don’t see myself doing those things.”

“Aw, Elder, I bet you’d be super strong if you fought!” Owen laughed.

Waaaaaait, isn't this the same Torkoal mentioned in passing to be a Hunter that shows up in shipping art with Rhys that was mentioned in passing like 8-ish chapters ago? Are we looking at what Rhys and this 'Elder' used to be like before they were Hunters? As Hunters? Or...?

“Ah, but I don’t know any offensive techniques, Owen! Such a shame, really.” Elder didn’t appear very regretful of this.

I'd post the Sonic meme again, but I'm pretty sure the answer is "Mystic powers" again.

The quartet laughed and Rhys chuckled.

“Say, how about this,” Gahi said. “Demitri and Mispy can fight as one team, and you and me can fight fer the other.”

I mean, I guess Demitri and Mispy being closer to each other than their teammates would make sense, though that now makes me wonder as to how close Owen and Gahi used to be or not.

“It’ll be air against ground?” Owen asked.

“Yeah!” Gahi said, outstretching his wings.

Owen smirked and mimicked Gahi. They both took to the skies.


The memory was wiped away.

>dat last line

... As in Nevren came along and pruned it, or...?
:copyka:


The dim glow of nighttime mushrooms colored the rocky walls of the cave in a soft cyan. Mixing with this light were flickering embers of orange and yellow. Owen was lying in the middle of these flames, enjoying the warmth; they licked at his scales and washed over his back. The flame at the end of his tail got hotter, brimming with energy. He rolled over to sear his belly next.

“No resting on the fire, Owen.”

“Wh—huh? I wasn’t!” He rolled away and quickly hid beneath his bed of leaves. Some of them turned black from the fire, but they didn’t burn. He rubbed the back of his head, feeling pain all over. He grumbled and rubbed the orange scales on his arms.

Okay, so I suppose that that's confirmation that Owen's a Charizard right now. Since that's a bit different from Charmeleon colors.

Rhys peered into the room. “You’re very lucky we were able to fashion your bed with Rawst leaves, or you’d burn through them every night,” Rhys said. He chuckled, but then walked over, patting him on the head. “How are you feeling, Owen? Today was a rough day, wasn’t it?”

“Today?” Owen asked.

Memories flashed before him. The Feraligatr. The fighting. That feeling… the sense of dying, yet the thrill. Like he was filling a void in his heart—fulfilling some grand purpose. But what happened after?

- peeks up at chapter title -

... Actually, now that I think about it, I suppose there's an alternative possible implication that Owen having 'orange scales' might point towards.
:copyber:


“W-wait!” Owen sprang to his feet. “I—I was fighting!”

“You were,” Rhys said. “And you lost.”

Owen’s tail drooped to the ground. “Th-that can’t be…. I… I had him on the ropes! I even tore his little spirit-arm off! I remember!”

“It wasn’t enough.” Rhys shook his head. “Don’t worry, Owen. Your mother told me everything—you fought very well.”

... Actually, I'm not sure if Owen evolved or if he got devolved back into a Charmander or not. I'm presently leaning towards the second, but...

“Mom,” Owen said. He sighed, crossing his arms. “You mean… I wasn’t good enough to win, even though I tried my hardest?”

Rhys hesitated.

Owen sighed and stood up. Every part of his body felt bruised, but he paced anyway to clear his head. His bed felt a lot larger today, and he felt smaller than ever. He remembered staring up at the Feraligatr—he was barely up to his thighs, wasn’t he? “I just… I bet I could’ve done it if… if I just… maybe if I moved to the left instead of the right, or…” He stopped. His fists shook with frustration, and he stomped on the ground. “I just wish I could finally evolve or something! I’ve been a Charmander forever!”

Whelp. There it is. The reason why this chapter's called 'Reset'. Though I see that they don't keep Owen and Team Alloy's dynamics with each other consistent across 'loops'.

Rhys gulped, but then said, “W-well, regardless, Owen… we need to do some planning. You aren’t the only one to fail their mission today.”

“What do you mean?” Owen asked.

“We all did,” someone said from the room’s entrance.

“Gahi!”

Oh, so Rhys, Amia, and the gang are keeping Team Alloy together from the jump this go-around. Duly noted.

The Trapinch wobbled his way inside, clicking irritably. A Chikorita and Axew followed behind, clearly just as crestfallen, even though Gahi didn’t want to show it.

Demitri spoke next. “Anam’s team… their Guardian was killed right in front of them—and Rim got the Orb, too! And our team… Rim was there! She already beat that Guardian, and then she beat us up! Really badly! But then I guess after we passed out, Rhys fought her off.”

“Hmph,” Mispy said. “If we were… just… evolved…”

I sure hope that you kept a journal somewhere and stashed it someplace where Rhys and your parents couldn't find it, since... yeah. That's going to be annoying to piece back together again, otherwise.

The quartet sighed in unison.

“We’re just late-evolvers,” Owen said. “We’ll—we’ll evolve eventually! I’m sure of it!”

"""Eventually""".
:copyka:


Though that makes me wonder what on earth is up with their evolutions such that them hitting final morphs is enough to make their caretakers reflexively reach for the reset button.

Rhys turned around. “We’re going to be discussing what happened now. Future plans. Star will be there, too. Would you like to come with us?”

“Y-yeah,” Owen said. “W-wait! Zena! Is Zena okay?”

“Zena is just fine. Everybody is okay, aside from the Guardians we tried to rescue,” Rhys said. “Come.”

The Lucario led them to Hot Spot Square. The Charmander, Chikorita, Axew, and Trapinch followed him out.

Oh, so the Guardian hunt was preserved for their memories this loop. I suppose that that makes sense, since you'd think that that one would be hard to keep hidden.

Alright, made it to the end. I mean, I kinda figured out that something like this was going on in this story, but it was still surprising to see it play out onscreen. Guess that explained why you allowed the cast to grow strength-wise so quickly. Though yeah, I suppose that if people hadn't figured it out by now, that this is the chapter that throws it out that "this isn't going to be your normal story" and "thar be a conspiracy afoot" out into the open, and it does so to pretty good dramatic effect. There were some interesting things hinted at for the different characters, especially that passing remark Azu made about Owen and his fighting style, though clearly we'll be waiting a bit for that to all come out since... yeah, that ending note there.

As for criticisms... I honestly don't have a lot to level with this chapter. There were a couple paragraphs that I thought had enough going on in them to be better presented as multiple smaller ones, and a couple word choices I didn't quite agree with, but otherwise things were very well put-together. Definitely got a lot across even within the span of a shorter chapter length.

And that concludes the first of three prize reviews @Namohysip . Dunno when I'll get the next one out, but this is some good stuff, and I'll be looking forward as to what happens in the other two chapters in my docket.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. quilava-fobbie
  5. sneasel-kate
  6. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, saw that the next chapter looks nice and digestible, so I figured that tonight was as good a night as any to chip away a bit more at that stack of prize reviews I owe you. So let's just go ahead and pick things up with…

Chapter 16

“Looks like that’s everyone,” Star said, flicking her tail.

A few of Amia’s spirits swept away little pebbles that littered the ground of Hot Spot—much to Valle’s irritation—while Amia herself channeled extra Mystic energy into the mushrooms to brighten the brown rocks. The cyan glow they gave off a light that mixed with the jagged edges of the houses, casting shadows on the wall. Owen sighed at the sight; what nostalgia to have a get-together like this. It was too bad it had to be over such depressing talk.

That actually makes me wonder if during these successive rounds of resetting if Owen and Team Alloy get false memories implanted or not, since 'nostalgia' implies that he has a percieved recollection of being with Team Alloy being normal for him at this point.

“What’s the damage?” Gahi asked, clicking his jaws uncertainly.

Star sighed, sitting down in mid-air. Her tail curled around her legs. “I want you guys to be very, very calm, okay?” she said. “No sudden movements. Be nice and delicate. Talk quietly. Got it?”

“Eh?” Gahi said.

“Just… just promise me, okay?”

Demitri: "Yeah... this is sounding exactly like the sort of thing you'd say when you're about to reveal something that's impossible to be calm about, just saying."
:grohno~2:


Gahi hesitated, clicking his jaws. He glanced at a few of the others—Willow, in particular, who irritably crackled.

“Well, why should I be quiet?!” she said.

“Willow,” Star said slowly. “Please.”

I should be less surprised that Willow would be the one who'd cause the biggest issues with Star's ask given that... yeah, Willow is definitely on the more impulsive and unhinged side.

[ ]

“W-well, I… I’ll…!” Willow looked at the others, and then at Star again. “Okay…” The crackling slowed down, and the Joltik stood still.

Star nodded. She closed her eyes. “Anam, if you can…?”

IMO, it might have made sense to show more of how Willow's mood / reaction changes a bit before she speaks up again, especially if you're trying to hammer it home that Willow basically has that "I fear no man" meme relationship with Star.

“Oh, right!” Anam held his arms forward and focused; a little aura flare formed between his hands, and he sent out another spirit. It formed into a winged Lopunny—a solid spirit. She wasn’t very strong, unlike Star, who was still very much see-through. Much easier to summon. But James and the others in Anam’s squad recognized her immediately.

“Cara?” Zena asked.

“Shh,” Star said softly.

Oh, so they can pick up dead Guardians as spirits. I wonder if they also picked up that Torterra, too.

Zena flinched, but nodded. Cara was a trembling wreck—shaking, looking to her left and right, and all around her. “Wh-where am I? What is this?”

“Hey… Cara,” Star said softly. The Mew floated closer, but she stopped when Cara shrank away. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. It’s just me. Star. You know me, right? When you were afraid and confused, I popped right in and brought you someplace safe. Remember that?

:absus:


“I was… I was floating. My body, I… I couldn’t feel my body…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Owen: "You... did the Orb thing again, didn't you, Star?"
:unimpressedrayquaza:

Star: "Actually, I didn't, but..."

“There were lights everywhere, like I was… I was flowing, I—I didn’t know where to go, what to—”

“Shh, shh…” Star advanced, placing a paw in Cara’s. “You’re in a place called Hot Spot Cave. It’s underground, and away from any dangerous Pokémon. You can let your guard down.”

I—I can? Truly?” Cara looked like she was ready to collapse in front of everyone.

Image


Yeah, no. Star has been giving off "obviously sketchy and don't trust her" vibes since the chapter she first appeared, so that feels very ill-advised.

“Look around,” Star said, waving her arm to the small crowd. “Not a harmful soul here, don’t you think?”

:EzeraSus:


Yeah, look who's speaking, lady.

Cara scanned the cave square. The four unevolved Pokémon. The lovely Goodra that summoned her. Star, the constant presence that she could speak with, should she ever feel afraid. The others seemed fine, too [ ].

Oh, what an adorable Joltik,” Cara said quietly.

“Adorable?” Willow asked.

“Yes, you’re quite lovely,” Cara nodded.

Willow glowed. “W-well, I guess I might be a little cute…!”

It probably makes sense to explicitly note Cara's attention falling on Willow, but that might just be my more descriptive tendencies as an author flaring up.

Cara scanned again. “That one, the statue. Quite unnerving, that. Who is…?”

“I am Valle. I am one with the mountain.”

[ ]

“He’s a little weird in the head, but he means well, I think,” Star said. “Actually—hey, Valle, is there anything dangerous in the caves right now? Like, uh, Pokémon that would be trying to hunt us down?”

“No.”

I feel as if there was supposed to be some sort of reaction coming from Cara to Valle that Star noted and responded to, but it's not really depicted at the moment. Given that this is like 8 paragraphs of dialogue in a row, it might've made sense to drop in some description to keep things from getting a bit talking heads here.

“There!” Star said. “See? Valle’s our little security system. He’s like an army of guards! That’s pretty cool, right?”

Waaaaait, but what on earth did Valle even do to determine that anyways? Or is Cara meant to just be taking his/Star's word for things?

“Yes. That is quite… cool, yes.” She flapped her ear-wings a bit. “A tad warm here.”

“Yeah, Fire Guardian’s home, so, y’know.” Star srugged. “But it’s a bit cooler in some of the houses—anyway, Cara… you know you died, right?”

And cue the freakout in 3... 2...

“Y-yes… I believe that is it. I was summoned. A spirit. Oh… A spirit…” she sighed, shaking and shivering. But she seemed calm. Perhaps she was in shock.

Gahi: "Gee, ya think? Why she looks more shook up than Demitri walking along a cliffside!"
:what:

Demitri: "Hey! I don't look like that when that happens! (Partly because I'm avoiding those cliffsides for dear life, but...)" >_>;

Owen watched sympathetically. “Hey, I’m sorry that happened. Um, so… that means Rim got to her before we could, huh? How come she still looks like she has the Orb?”

“It’s the form she’s most familiar with,” Star explained. “Kinda like Valle, she prefers a body different from the one she was born with. And for what happened… that’s what I wanted to outline to you guys. And I want Cara to tell me everything she remembers about this, first. Cara? What do you remember?”

Waaaaait, implying that Valle is also a spirit, too? Or is that a thing for Mystics in general?

Though that makes me wonder if there are other characters with this "choose your form" ability that use it to adopt "god, I wish I'd evolved into an [X] / been born as an [X]" guises. Since if Star's explanation is accurate, that should be technically possible in this setting.

Cara grabbed one of her ear-wings and preened the feathers with her paws. “I—I’ve always been a small bit jumpy. Perhaps it is in my nature. But I’m afraid I can’t give much more information than what I’ve told Star, even now. I had been fleeing from strange, mutant Pokémon like them for quite some time. I think the brightness of my abode made it hard for them to strike me, but once I lowered my guard…”

Anam gasped. “Th-then… then when we made Cara feel safe, they just…!”

Yeah, great job there, guys. Though I'm not convinced that someone in the party didn't deliberately engineer that.

“How did we not sense them?” Zena asked. “We should have sensed their auras!

“Rim may have been hiding from afar, waiting for the light to lower to find her,” Rhys said.

Oh, so that's how Rim completely blindsided Rhys. Though Rim can apparently teleport in from at least half a mile away if Rhys' aura sensitivity tracks with Pokédex fluff, which feels... shockingly reasonable for a powerful psychic, especially if she had line of sight the entire time.

Star nodded. “There wasn’t much we could’ve done with what we knew. I’m sorry that it happened, Cara.” She then addressed the others. “Right now, we’ve got seven Orbs on our side. You, your mom, Zena, Willow, Anam, Valle, and ADAM. And Rim stole the Psychic Orb a while ago. Well, she just got two more. Cara, the Flying Guardian, and Forrest, the Ground Guardian. I wanted Forrest to come along, too, but he said that he’s fine. I think he was ready to give up anyway.”

Waaaaait, but I didn't think Star was addressing Owen this entire time. And for that matter, she isn't mentioned focusing specifically on him, so the "You, your mom" bit feels a bit sudden.

Though I guess that's a 'no' on Forrest ever appearing onscreen in this story given the implication that he's opted to pass on after death. I suppose that's one way of handling him likely not being able to physically fit in Hot Spot Cave since his implied size was on par with those giant Torterra from the Detective Pikachu movie.

“Wait,” Owen said. “So… not Manny? What happened to him?”

“Guess Rim wasn’t strong enough to handle him yet,” Star said. “Actually, Rim also attacked other areas today, too, but I dunno if Guardians are there or not. It might’ve been a guess, because I just don’t know where all the Guardians are anymore. They either don’t talk to me, or won’t tell me where they are.”

“Won’t tell you?”

“They kinda… don’t trust me,” Star said, biting her lower lip. “Because, you know…”

Zena: "Gee, I wonder why when you ghosted us for multiple centuries!"
:unimpressed:

Star: "Look, I already admitted that that was dumb of me, okay? Let's not get into this again."

“Because you recruited the Hunters,” Zena said. She had cooled down from that revelation, but perhaps too much—the Milotic’s voice was icy.

Zena: "Also, that, too." >:(

Owen looked uneasily at Zena. Everything felt hazy when he thought about her or any of the others. He must have been hurt pretty badly in that fight against Azu, because he could only vaguely remember details about all of them. They were in a strange state in his mind, both familiar and unfamiliar. He knew them, but for how long? Owen felt another crisis of panic wash over him. Not crazy. Not crazy. Not crazy. Just play along.

Owen: "... Also, why am I getting the weirdest sense of deja vu over this whole 'I'm not crazy' train of thought?" .-.
Anam: "(Yeeeeeah, I should've insisted that Nev-Nev do a more thorough job of managing the kids' memories and we just chalked it up getting hit upside the head too hard. I wasn't expecting this to already start up again not even an hour after they woke up.)"
:worriedgoo:


“Yeah… but, anyway,” Star said, “Cara and Forrest were the last two weak Guardians, I think. At least, of the ones I know. From here on out, the Guardians are gonna be strong, and they might even be paranoid and hostile if we approach.” Star sighed. “Some of them… don’t trust my word anymore, like I said.” She glanced at Zena. “So, I think… we might need to do this a little forcefully and try to calm them down, or convince them some other way. But either way—we’ll have to… you know.”

Image


“Beat them up to befriend them?” Demitri asked.

“Now yer talking.” Gahi clicked happily.

Ah yes, Defeat Equals Friendship. Definitely showing off that shonen DNA in action there.

Cara stiffened with fright. This was enough to quiet Gahi down; he stepped away, mumbling to himself, and hid behind Zena to avoid frightening Cara.

“I would like to go, now,” she said quietly to Star.

“Okay. Thanks anyway, Cara. Forget about all this and enjoy your afterlife.”

Owen:
:VidriBlink:

"Wait, there's an afterlife, too?"
Star: "Well, yeah. What did you think happened to all those spirits that opted to move on? Also, there's a whole 'spirits passing onto the Overworld' thing going on, but let's worry about that sometime after we're done gathering up all these Orbs."

Relief washed over Cara and the Lopunny vanished, and Demitri and Gahi both shrank guiltily.

“You don’t have to fight them… not always,” Star said to them. “But, hey, they might put up a fight. So just keep that sorta thing in mind, y’know?”

Mispy: "I see no problems with this, really."
Rhys: "(I see that some things don't change about the kids even when their memories get reset.)"
:lucariwhat:


“Aw, heh, sounds fine to me.” Demitri tittered.


Kek. I mean, I misjudged who'd make the comment, but I figured that the sentiment would be about the same.

Owen crossed his arms and spoke up. “So, wait, are we just going to send a single team, then?”

Oh hey, he's making the
:judgemander~1:
emote right now.

“A team of our absolute strongest, maybe,” Star said. “But nothing more than that. If we had two squads head in, that might help us with extra power if we have some big problem… like a run-in with Rim, for example, or…”

“Or those weird Pokémon that follow her,” Anam said.

Star: "Mutants. They're mutants, Anam."

“But having two teams will make it difficult to coordinate,” Zena pointed out. “We aren’t very good at using our communicators in the heat of battle. Nevren wanted them to be useful, I’m sure, but we found little use for it in our last battles.”

That seems more like a "you" problem, just saying. Since nobody was keeping you all from doing checkups whenever you found a lead or something like that. ^^;

“Wait, hold on,” Owen said. “Weird Pokémon? You mean mutants, or something else? What’d you guys run into?” If they were more of those odd Pokémon, what did they have to do with the Guardians? And, more importantly, why did the others react strangely when he mentioned them?

The group shifted uncomfortably again. Owen sensed it. “Guys, what’s all this about? And—and what happened when I passed out, anyway?! I know I lost, but…”

Anam: "(Dammit, Nev-Nev, I told you you didn't trim enough of his memories!)" >.<

“We ran into some strange Pokémon while on this outing,” Star said. “Basically, Rim was being followed by one or more… mutated Pokémon. Like, something was just different about them in some way—a Ninjask with Scyther arms, or a Luxray crazy bulked out, with a Raichu’s tail. It was insane! And—they all had this different aura about them, too, is that right?”

“Much like the mutants we typically see around Kilo from time to time,” Rhys said. “Only now they’re fighting alongside the Hunters.”

“The Luxray’s aura felt weird,” Anam nodded.

[ ]

“Weird?” Mispy asked, wiggling the leaf on her head. “Our auras are weird.”

I feel like there's probably some sort of mood moment going on with Mispy (and presumably at least some of her teammates) that might be worth showing off here, especially if you're driving home Owen's "something's seriously off here, but I can't put my finger on it" sense in live-time.

“Well, yeah, but that’s probably because we’re late evolvers,” Demitri said. “Right?”

“Yes, that’s likely it,” Rhys said.

“See? Even Rhys says so,” Demitri said.

Lol. Lmao. Though boy are Anam and the rest of the cleanup crew fortunate that none of the kids have thought to try and keep a diary of some sort.

Owen spotted Willow nearby, shivering. “Hey, Willow, are you okay?” he asked the Joltik. “You’re, uh, shaking.”

“Huh?” Willow squeaked. “Yes! I’m fine. I’m just… cold in the mornings!”

Oh, so Willow also knows what's up with those four such that their final evolution triggered some freaky black pulse. And whatever it is, it freaked her out something fierce. Or at least I'm pretty sure that that's the implication.

“Oh,” Owen said, stepping closer. “Well, I’m a Fire-Type. Want to rest on my head?” he asked, giggling. “I mean, you liked it bef—”

Willow skittered away, hiding behind Anam. Little particles of pink fairy dust scattered around her feet with every step, like she was ready to shrink him down if he got any closer.

Oh right, she was there for Owen's fight with Azu. No wonder why she's freaking out so much. Though that makes me wonder how come Nevren didn't just use his memory editing / deletion abilities on her.

Owen blinked. “Uh… okay.” That was not the reaction he was expecting.

A memory flashed in Owen’s eyes. He was rushing toward Azu, the Feraligatr from before. Willow was screaming, and Amia was calling Owen’s name. Azu’s eyes, for just a second, looked… afraid.

I'm half-convinced that whatever is up with the gang's final evolution is going to turn out to be that one personal problem of Fei's in Xenogears all over again. I mean, it's supported by exactly nothing given that this chapter was written at least 4 years before you played the game, but boy is this dynamic and everybody's reaction to Owen + Team Alloy's "bad state" familiar in vibe.

Owen held his breath.

James was murmuring to the Joltik, almost like a lecture. Whatever he was saying, Willow wasn’t having any of it, and she hid right behind Anam’s gooey ankles.

Owen: "... I really should get into the habit of keeping a journal, since clearly there's a lot that everyone who was there for my fight with Azu's not telling me." >_>;

“Yeah, weird auras,” Star said. “To be honest, we’ve seen that stuff before, and I’ve seen similar auras running through the aura sea before.” She avoided looking at anybody else. “Basically, these Pokémon, the mutants… I’ve only seen them recently out and about like that, but the reason those auras look strange? Ugh, how do I explain this?"

[ ]

"Oh, okay. So… You know how, like, berries kinda look like each other if they come from the same plant, or something? Like, Oran berries come from Oran Berry plants… I mean, unless it’s a huge berry tree, then it’s all sorts, but… Ugh, that example sucks…”

“…Genetics, you mean?” Rhys asked. He quickly amended, “Nevren spoke of that before.”

Star's dialogue is long enough that IMO it should be two separate paragraphs with something dividing it. Also, I saw that casual mention of 'Genetics' by Rhys there. Either there was some wild stuff going on in Kilo's world back when he was mortal, or he's learned a lot about "ancient history" in the last 500+ years.

“Yeah! Nevren would know how to describe this, uh, but…” Star spun around. “Okay. Zena… you used to be mortal, right?”

“Yes,” Zena said.

“So, you had parents.”

Owen: "Star, she's already mad at you for leaving her in the dark for hundreds of years. Maybe don't remind her of that?"
:mewtwofacepalm:


Zena nodded. “Yes. Their spirits are often ferried to my realm from time to time, in fact. It’s been so long since they’ve last visited, though…”

“Yeah. So, your aura, see, it kinda has traces of both their auras, since you came from them. That make sense?”

“Yes… ancestry, of a sort?”

Zena: "Star, where exactly are you going with this? And just what is this 'genetics'?"
:what:


“Yeah,” Star said. “Really, really good aura readers can trace an ancestry back a few generations, kinda like matching and linking auras to where they came from, and where those auras came from, and so on, okay? Well… the Pokémon we encountered back there? That Luxray and that Ninjask? They… didn’t have that.”

Just filing that one away for the future. Though that now makes me wonder if Deca was aura-sensitive or not, since he seemed to zero in really fast on Owen being someone he was familiar with in that special episode in a way that would likely be implausible just based on physical appearances.

“…They didn’t have… auras?” Owen asked.

“No, no, they had auras,” Star said. “They didn’t have ancestry. No aura traces of parents, or grandparents, or any of that. No history.”

Translation, there's some sort of lab or whatever lying around that's spitting them out of vats. Since if you're brought into being ex nihilo, you won't have an ancestry to speak of.

“Wait, what does that mean?” Amia said.

“Rhys has a similar aura,” Star said. “His aura is a little weird because he doesn’t have grandparents—All he has is a single parent, me. Since I created their auras. Same for Nev, and all the Hunters. All that weirdness you sense from them? Sure, some of it is a bit of divine power, but it’s also their weird aura trace.”

I'm sorry, what? Though yeah, the sus-o-meter for Star just spiked, given that if Star created the Hunters, it implies that she wanted them to go after the Guardians at some point for reasons. Probably related to the Orbs.

Though waaaaait, I could've sworn that it was mentioned in passing somewhere that Owen and/or Team Alloy's auras themselves were "off". Is that implying that they also don't have normal parentage? (I mean, I'm spoiled on Owen definitely not having normal parentage, but…)

“You… created their auras?” Owen said.

Rhys looked off.

“Yeah,” Star said. “I mean, what, you think I’m just gonna pick random folks off the road to get involved in this Orb business?”

Zena: "Wait, but that means you made the Hunters. The same Hunters that have been chasing after us for hundreds of years."
:absus:

Star: "I mean, kids will be kids, right?"
:joltyshrug~1:


Owen rubbed his eyes irritably.

“In other words, since they came right from you,” Amia said, “their auras go just to you, and not some family tree. I get that! But… then, those strange auras from Luxray and Ninjask?” Amia glanced at Owen and the other late-evolvers.

That actually makes me wonder if vat-created Pokémon would similarly have a "void" for an aura signature, or if even that would still have a signature of some sort. Since I'm pretty sure that the implication is that these mutants have been made ex nihilo, I just haven't zeroed in on by what method.

“They don’t have an ancestry at all,” Star said. “They were… created some other way. Without… parents. I at least gave Rhys and the others a little trace from me, just for, you know, symbolism and stuff.”

“No… parents?” Owen asked. “They were created? But—you created Rhys, right? So, what’s the difference?”

Yeah, see above. Though that makes me wonder if ADAM also has a void for his aura’s ancestry given that he was created from nothing during the events of In Beta.

“They must’ve been created some other way,” Star said. “Maybe… artificially.”

A confused silence filled the air. Then, murmurs. Anam spoke up. “Artificial? …Like Adam? His aura’s weird, too, now that I’m looking at it…”

“ADAM,” the Porygon-Z specified.

Oh, speak of the devil...

“Uhh… maybe?” Star said evasively. “He’s a weird case, but—Look, not important. But that’s why their auras are strange. No ancestry. They were made some other way—and it seems like they were modified, too, from how their species should be. That’s why they’re called mutants in the first place, y’know? They had some weird abilities. Even other sightings are kinda like that.”

I see that Star really, really wanted to change the topic there about ADAM and his aura. I'm not fully sure that that implies, but I did notice it. Though I suppose that confirms that he similarly has a "void" when it comes to his ancestry.

“Pokémon with weird abilities?” Owen asked.

He wondered. Should he say this? Yes. He should. Because he wasn’t going to let this go when it already felt so close. It felt like someone tried to tie his memories up and seal them away. But now they were coming back.

You know, no matter how much I try to teach others, I don’t think anybody knows how to do my Fire Trap, but… maybe that’s just because I’m resourceful?”

>this comparison

I mean, I hadn't considered it before, but could Owen and Team Alloy be mutants themselves that someone created? Since even if they're a bit more superficially "normal" than the other mutants we've seen thus far, they have a lot of abilities that are off-spec for what they ought to have for their species.

This time, Owen watched for everyone’s reactions closely. He wasn’t speculating for no reason. The others knew something. And he saw just what he expected. Uncomfortable shuffling where they stood or sat. Some of them didn’t make eye contact. Rhys, in particular, looked like he’d seen death in the face. He looked at Zena next, and the way her serpentine body reacted.

He was starting to become more familiar with in terms of body language, if only slightly. He couldn’t identify the emotion she was experiencing based on her muscle movements, but he did know one thing: she had trouble looking at him. For some reason, this one hurt the most.

“…Guys,” Owen said, “what… aren’t you telling me?” He turned his head, looking at them all. “What… am I?”

Not a normal Charmander, that much has been obvious for a few chapters now.

Owen wobbled where he stood. He felt faint. He saw Rhys’ paw glowing with a strange light.

Ah yes, time for Nevren to do his thing again since he clearly didn't do his job well enough this time.

“Ugh, my back,” Owen muttered, rolling over in bed. “Wh—huh?” he looked up, springing to his feet. “Wait—how long was I…?” He remembered he was planning things out with Star and the others. They were going to try to form a strong team of fighters. Would Owen—no… no, he wouldn’t count. He’s just a Charmander, after all. Just a Charmander…

“Ugh, stop dwelling,” Owen muttered. “I should just ask them about it.”

Yeah, I figured. Though Nevren seems to have overcorrected heavily given that Owen's memories are a lot more disjointed this time around.

Owen, seeing the glow of the mushrooms in his room, determined that it was late in the afternoon. Ugh, my whole sleep schedule is done for. He looked outside and saw that everybody was still planning, far ahead in Hot Spot Square. “Oh—good! I didn’t miss too much?” he called.

“Oh, hey, Owen! You kinda passed out while you were talking,” Star said. “Feeling better? Listen, you shouldn’t push yourself. If you’re too tired, just sit back and rest.”

Everybody Else:
:blazikensweat:

Owen: "Okay, what happened?"
:judgemander~1:


“I must’ve been really tired from that fight.” Owen laughed. “Okay! So, um, who’s going to be going and stuff?”

“We ain’t,” Gahi muttered, looking down. “We passed out just like you.”

Damn, so they didn't leave anything to chance with those four, huh? Though I suppose it was kinda unavoidable when Owen basically destroyed their hard work trying to pull off a reset in the span of like a minute after Star went on that whole spiel about aura and implied ancestry.

“Yeah. We just aren’t strong enough, I guess,” Demitri said. “The stress of all that fighting with Rim really got to us. I feel like I was hit by a Golem’s… everything.”

Mispy sighed.

Can't tell whether or not the reset process is inherently painful or if they straight-up got clocked by the others beforehand. Since... yeah, you'd think that Team Alloy would've freaked out a bit seeing Rhys casually keel Owen over after asking a question.

“But don’t worry!” Star said, “You guys can meditate and spar with Rhys and stuff instead, okay? How’s that sound?” The Mew waved her arms encouragingly. “Right now, those ‘clean aura’ Pokémon aren’t doing anything—they must be regrouping, so we should take that time to do the same thing here, y’know?"

[ ]

"And to be honest, I think it’d be a good idea if we narrowed our numbers down to maybe… a single strong team to handle just one Guardian at a time So, if you want my opinion on that…" she trailed off, before shaking her head. "Then we should also go back to the Spire of Trials and try for Manny a second time—but with a stronger team. And we need some of us to also rally up some help in Kilo Village for scouting, since… uh… since I have no idea where the other Guardians could be.”

IMO, Star's line is long enough that unless if she's very, very deliberately motor-mouthing, it should be at least two separate paragraphs. Since there was a lot going on in this one line of dialogue.

“Hmm,” Amia said. “Well, I wouldn’t consider myself strong, so why don’t I help with rallying?”

“Wait,” Owen said. “Can we do the Trial place again?”

“Huh?”

“I lost against the Feraligatr the last time. Feraligatr Azu. And I want a rematch! I’ll do better this time!”

Amia and the Adults:
Image


[ ]

“Owen,” Amia said.

“Please?” Owen pleaded.

Star sighed. “No,” she said. “You need to train, Owen. I’m sorry.”

[ ]

“B-but…”

I kinda feel like there was a chance to show off reactions from the different characters a bit more. Like I'm guessing that the adults in the group were very firmly in the "no" camp, but it might have made sense to show off their reactions a bit more, especially for showing off how Owen parsed them.

“Um, should I stay back, too?” Anam said. The Goodra poked his fingers together; they fused, and then split apart each time. “I know I’m strong, but… you need me to rally up the Hearts, right?”

“I can do that in your place,” James said.

“But what if I’m defeated? You’ll fizzle up, and the whole town will see it!”

Owen: "... Wait, why have you kept your status as a Guardian secret to the rest of Kilo Village all this time anyways?"
:what:

Anam: "Security measure to avoid attention by Hunters?"
:joltyshrug~1:


“Hrm…” James ruffled his feathers. “I’d rather not imagine a scenario where you die, Anam. Also, I imagine it would be difficult to maintain my form so far away, even for you.”

“Anam, compared to Manny, I don’t think you’ll be defeated like that,” Star said. “But it would be a tough win…”

I mean, yeah. I kinda gathered that Manny was a strong guardian from how Azu was just going to town on Owen, but he can even make it dicey for Anam, huh?

“Would I be… strong enough?” Zena said.

“Perhaps not,” James said, “but we work as a team together quite well.”

“Yeah, Zena, you seem like you’d be an elegant fighter, if you ask me,” Owen said. “It goes well with how James fights, and maybe it’ll keep Anam calm? And Mom fights like that, too.”

“Elegant?” Zena blushed.

Ah yes, time to see Owen and his way with girls™️ come back out onto center stage.
:trollzel:


Star giggled. “Okay, let’s form up the team of elites. Rhys, you might not be the strongest Hunter, but you’re the strongest we have. So, I want you to go and fight Manny himself, okay?”

[ ]

“Rhys is stronger than me?” Anam said.

“Ehh, I dunno. You guys would have to spar it out,” Star said, “but—trust me, Manny will want to fight Rhys. Now, for the other three fighters. Amia, don’t be modest—you’re pretty tough. So, you’re going, too. Okay?”

It probably would've made sense to show some reaction from Anam to Rhys getting picked + Star's logic for selecting him. I'm assuming that he's side-eying a bit, but it's not really depicted here.

“Oh, okay,” Amia replied. “Am—am I, really?”

“Yes. You should be able to handle his second-in-command. So as for his third- and fourth-in-command…”

“So, I really can’t go back and fight Azu?” Owen spoke up again.

Amia and the Adults:
Image

Owen: "Oh come on! How on earth am I supposed to be able to improve as a Guardian if I don't get any chances to have a rematch?!"
:WHY:


“Owen, you—you can’t,” Star said. “Train here. Okay?”

Owen crossed his arms, rolling a ball of an ember in his mouth to silence himself. He didn’t bring it up again.

Yeah, I figured that he wouldn't be happy.

“Next up, uh… Rhys, Amia…” Star mumbled under her breath. “…Anam, are you sure you can’t substitute somebody else to rally the team, like James?”

“I guess I could…” Anam said. “Nevren might be able to help, right?” He nibbled on his slimy fingers, thinking. “I just hope we aren’t bothering him.”

“It’s his duty,” James said firmly. “He should be able to do it easily. We will simply speak with him before we go.”

Oh boy, that's ominous. Though beyond the complaints about lack of description, I think the deeper issue that's occurring to me right now is that that parts of these scenes feel a bit light on framing PoV in spite of the story being written in a third person limited perspective. Since if this second scene is meant to also be written from Owen's perspective, it feels like we're missing some of that "bah, this is so unfair" / "why is everyone freezing me out, I know that I didn't do that badly against Azu"-ness from his perspective in the narration.

“Okay, and James, you’re pretty tough all on your own, so you’re member number four!” Star said. “Everyone else should focus on training. I’ll have someone other than Anam summon me so I can probably do some coaching.”

Owen listened, but then decided to concentrate on his memories again. He felt it. They were sealed away. It felt like a plug stuck right in his skull, like he couldn’t breathe through his mental nose. What if he thought back harder? Owen earned a massive headache when he tried, but he pushed through anyway, just for something—anything—to satisfy his curiosity.

Whelp, I suppose that that confirms that Nevren went full "not messing around" mode when doing his thing with Owen's memories this time, since that's certainly new compared to the times we've seen Owen try to recall memories from prior cycles.

More memories. He saw Rhys approach him while at the meeting—right before he had passed out. He was telling him something—to go rest, that he was tired. And then, his paw had glowed… and Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi all passed out. And then Owen did right after. And… and that fight. Feraligatr Azu.

He wasn’t a Charmander, was he? No. He was too tall. He wasn’t at thigh-height. He was at belly-height.

I was a Charmeleon.

Okay, so Owen and Team Alloy were created with Rhys functioning as a delibarate fail-safe over them. Or at least I think that's the implication. Though Nevren's handiwork is having a shorter and shorter shelf-life this time around. I wonder if something about the happening™️ at the end of Chapter 15 messed with its efficacy such that past tricks that used to work no longer are.

“Owen?” Rhys asked.

He’d do it again. Rhys would try to make him sleep and forget. “Huh?” Owen asked. “Oh, sorry. I was thinking about a new strategy for that Feraligatr. I think I know how to beat him!”

Putting his knowledge of his own body language to use, he tensed his arms, as if readying a punch. His eyes glowed with a competitive fire.

Or, maybe I can beat him. Maybe. I need to think more. Maybe after I do some training, I can have a rematch when he comes here with Manny!”

Owen: "(... Boy, I really, really hope that Rhys' aura sensitivity doesn't give him thought-reading abilities, since boy is this moment of realization going to be short-lived otherwise.)"
:grohno~2:


Rhys sighed. “Of course.”

As long as he played dumb, he could keep his memories. But why were they gone? What else did he forget? Think, Owen, think… What did they want to hide? And how was he back to being a Charmander?

Again, Owen. Keeping a journal and hiding it from the others would help a lot for getting past this, just saying.

Zena’s reaction in particular bothered him. She was with Anam and the others for Cara’s failed rescue. None of Team Alloy was with them, so they must have told her what happened. So, what did they tell her? What did he—and the rest of Team Alloy—do?

What did they become?

>become

Um, yeah. Funny story about that, Owen, but it's much, much more likely that this is all related to what you all have been. For a long, long time.

Alright, made it to the end. I wasn't expecting the reboot cycle from Chapter 15 to already make a reappearance in the story, but I suppose that's a sign that Owen and Team Alloy are going to be more aggressively looking for ways out from it in the very near future. I gather that this is the part of the story where things start going off the rails from the Orb hunt given that there were a lot of hints and implications that Owen and Team Alloy are: A: Very, very abnormal, B: Very, very powerful. Dangerously so given that everyone's reflexive response once they get too close to the proverbial danger zone is to nuke their memories and acquired experience and start over again. There's clearly a much bigger story behind that one, which I'm not sure just how fast that's going to come out since this story's way, way up there in overall length.

I had some quibbles about some phrasing and paragraph formatting here and there, and there were a couple parts where I felt the amount of description provided was a bit lacking. I also felt that this chapter weirdly didn't lean into its viewpoint characters' perspective as much as prior chapters did, which made some parts feel like they were going by without much of a reaction one way or another to events unfolding, which was a bit weird since the story seems to rock a third person limited perspective and did so quite well in earlier chapters. I wonder if it's a sign that those have gotten touch-ups that this one hasn't just yet.

But either way, I thought that the chapter was still fun @Namohysip , and does a lot to key up interest for things that will come afterwards. Since the status quo in HoC is really, really obviously falling apart by the events of this chapter, so all that's left is to see how it breaks and what comes afterwards.

Hope the feedback was helpful and fun to take in, and I'll be looking forward to getting that last prize review out for you sometime soon.
 
Chapter 176 - The Value of Regret New

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
Thanks for the reviews, Fobbie! Glad that you've been enjoying these big bumps of the plot now that the story really got rolling. I replied to your evals elsewhere, but it's nice to see you getting into the think of it now.

And here's the next chapter...

Chapter 176 – The Value of Regret

“Please, wait!” Solgaleo cried. “I spent a lot of time thinking about this!”

“No. I’m done with these tests,” Charizard growled, marching straight past regal marble statues and pillars with Necrozma’s insignia dotting every floor tile. Golden crystals of light decorated the ceiling, reflecting his orange flame. Up ahead, he saw a distortion.

Solgaleo awkwardly followed behind them with his tail down. “But but but… It was going to be a cool speech! Like, can I at least say one line?”

“You’re… just mocking me. I know what you are,” Charizard said. “And I’m not falling for it!”

“Let me goooo,” Wrath whispered. They’d caught him in a pincer attack the section prior; he and Reflection traded off who maintained the barrier around him as they walked. “I need… to kill… the god…!”

“Quiet,” Reflection said, tapping the shield. “Just behave.”

“I’d never mock myself!” Solgaleo said, prancing ahead and spinning to face them again. “Please, I spent my whole existence thinking of the speech!”

“Your whole existence.” Charizard crossed his arms.

“Yes! About… a few kilos now?”

“He’s… bubbly,” Owen remarked, looking disturbed. “Are you sure you’re me? I don’t think I was ever like this…”

“I can think of some times,” Charizard said. “In fact, when you were a Heart…”

“That’s different!” Owen defended.

Charizard eyed Solgaleo again, finally stopping his advance. “Alright. Then how about this,” he said. “I’ll let you talk about what you want to… after I guess what you’ll say.”

“Fine, fine.” Solgaleo sat on his haunches and flicked his tail left and right. “What am I going to say?”

Charizard gave him a cross look. “You are created from a hypothetical. You’re who I would be if I didn’t do anything wrong. So, like, if I made the opposite decision of what I think led to this mess. Listening to Necrozma, becoming Solgaleo, and working under him as an apprentice Overseer. Dark Matter gets destroyed. Maybe Kilo is remade without him. Everything would be fine if I listened to what Necrozma said, and where we are right now is all my fault.”

The flames of Charizard, Owen, and Reflection made the golden crystals shimmer. Wrath still hissed inside his barrier, occasionally muttering something as Charizard and Reflection traded barrier duties.

“Well,” Solgaleo said, glancing behind him. “That’s one way to phrase all of it…”

“Did I miss anything?” Charizard asked.

“…Just that it’s guesswork,” Solgaleo admitted. “But it’s what you think could have happened. And I’m from you, too. Remember when you were hit by that light? It took little pieces of you and scattered them across the Dungeon. I’m that last piece.”

“How can Aramé even do that?” Owen piped up. “That’s… a crazy strong thing to do!”

“Well, Aramé is crazy strong,” Solgaleo answered with a chuckle. “It’s… scary, uh, yeah. But I guess that’s why she never leaves this place; it’s her domain. Where she’s strongest.”

“So, each one was some test… What was the point of the mirror thing?” Charizard gestured to Reflection. “That was terrifying!”

“Ah, well, it wasn’t meant to go that way,” Solgaleo said nervously. “You… broke it. But it was supposed to be something where it’d weigh your time against someone else’s well-being—even someone just like you.”

“…What kind of test is that?! That wasn’t even on my mind! Someone was in trouble!”

“I was created as a test of patience?” Reflection whimpered.

“Starting to think Aramé’s a little nuts,” Owen mumbled.

“Can I kill her?” Wrath whispered.

“No,” they all said.

“In any case, yeah” Solgaleo said. “The fact that it didn’t even cross your mind is a good thing… to an extent. But trying to save one person when a whole world is burning can be another angle. Neither answer is the correct one.”

“Right.” Charizard returned his attention to the path down the marble-gold hall. “Well… If you’re my final piece, then what’s the end of this supposed to be like?”

“That’s not too far ahead. I think it’s better if you read it than if I explain it first.”

“Alright…”

Charizard’s mind wandered to the feasibility of making a Dungeon like this without any kind of Mystic or Dungeon power to assist. Solid gold pillars, crystals, and runes on the pillars, not to mention how many of them there were in this excessively long hallway… The ground, polished so well that he could see his reflection, made him briefly tap on the tile to make sure it wasn’t another false mirror.

Thankfully, it wasn’t.

“What force would have kept me from entering with my Perceive?” Charizard asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Owen nodded. “You left your horns outside, right?”

“Aramé likely has them by now,” Solgaleo said. “And there was no force. She assumed you’d obey out of politeness.”

Charizard groaned. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Hey, don’t say that!” Solgaleo said, tail rising with his tone. “Our curiosity is one of our best and worst traits!”

“You’re too cheerful,” Charizard mumbled, feeling guilty for remarking it. “Is that… how I used to be?”

“Well, a little,” Solgaleo said. “Our line naturally has some fiery cheer. I didn’t shake it as Solgaleo. I think… you’ve been very tired. I didn’t get that kind of fatigue.”

“Tired…” He couldn’t deny that. In the end, he was marching onward, even though his legs hurt. But… he saw the end. He had all the answers he needed to give it his best against Alexander and the other fragments of Dark Matter.

It was better than his walk in the Voidlands. Glancing at Owen, he wondered if he could have just as easily been that time when he’d lost even Amia to the Voidlands.

“What’s on your mind?” Solgaleo asked.

“These… parts of me.” Charizard gestured to him, then at Wrath, who had defiantly become dead weight while rolling in the Protect sphere. “They represent…”

“Different flaws or states of mind,” Solgaleo explained, nodding. “The times when you were lost…” He gestured to Owen. “The times where you are your most unstable…” He gestured to Wrath, who rolled his eyes. “Your current self.” To Reflection. “And, your regrets reversed. That’s me. For now, you are the host, but we all have a fragment of your spirit. Uh, I think.”

“For now?”

“Uhh—that’s for later. When you read the thing.” He pointed a paw at the end of the hall, which, at their pace, was still a few more back-and-forths away. “A lot of this is symbolic.”

“It’s… symbolic?” Solgaleo said nervously. “When you are so dedicated to a goal that you would cast aside even ‘yourself’ for that duty. That’s what the test was meant to symbolize.”

“Did getting more symbolic come with becoming Solgaleo?” Charizard deadpanned, not expecting an answer.

They entered the final chamber. He wondered if Zena had seen the same thing in her part of the Dungeon. Statues loomed over him, larger than life, each one of a Legend. In the back was Arceus made of gold, surrounded by the Creation Trio and the Divine Trio.

He read the message swiftly, aloud for the others to hear. “In this chamber, you must come to terms with yourself and consolidate your spirit… I already did this. By myself! A year ago!”

Solgaleo tittered nervously. “Oh yeah, we did do that…”

Charizard read on. “Only one, with the aspects of the remainder, may pass through the gateway… two to discard, in front of Zekrom. Two to keep, in front of Reshiram. And then the last one in front of Kyurem…”

“Wait, what’s the full version?” Reflection asked.

Charizard stood aside so he could read it.

“So…” Owen squeaked. “So, I came here all for nothing… I’m… I’m gonna die anyway? Or, or all of you die instead?”

“It’s hardly death,” Solgaleo said. “You’re just going to sprint into the future! From your perspective, at least.”

Charizard repeated it to himself, glaring at Kyurem’s statue.

“What’s the symbolism for this test?” Owen asked Solgaleo.

“That one’s a little easier,” Solgaleo said. “And… it’s not entirely symbolic.”

“What?”

Solgaleo approached the statue of Arceus, tilting his head upward to make eye contact with the imposing, yet inanimate, figure.

“You know how Legends have special instincts to weather immortality, right?” Solgaleo said. “Things that a normal mortal can’t do.”

“Yes…?” Charizard’s tail thumped on the ground, sending a little shower of embers behind him. “What about it? Do you have those?”

“Well, yes,” Solgaleo said. “But have you ever considered why, and how, that’s possible?”

Charizard didn’t like where this was going.

Solgaleo sat in front of Arceus’ statue and faced Charizard. “It’s all… instincts.”

He gestured with one paw to the Creation Trio.

“Once mortal, these former humans, and some just plain Pokémon, ascended Destiny Tower and then passed. Their spirits, their past, everything about them is combed through, and then they see if that kind of temperament is… good enough.”

“Good enough—I always thought that ‘good enough’ was not enough for being a god,” Charizard said. “That was the whole problem I had with it.”

“Because you were in denial of what it meant,” Solgaleo said. “But… you understood the fundamentals, didn’t you? Being a god meant throwing away part of yourself to adopt another. Your instincts.”

Solgaleo brought his paw to his chest and bowed.

“I don’t have the temptation to fly freely in the skies. I’m not afraid of the dark. And I don’t mind a cool dip in the pool now and then, either. But, in exchange… I now have a mind that can handle much longer periods. I have innate knowledge of Ultra Space, how to traverse it, and even some Psychic tricks, too. I mean, you already have a few of those, Mister Past-Seer.”

“I, uh, I don’t think I reawakened that one yet,” Charizard admitted. “I lost most of that once I sided with Dark Matter…”

“Oh. Exchanged the past for the negative present.” Solgaleo nodded. “Well, reawakening that might be useful.”

“You also talk a little strangely,” Reflection suddenly said. “What’s with that? Another… instinct?”

“Oh, no. In my hypothetical memories, I spent more time with Necrozma and the other gods. Picked up their accent a little.”

“Hypoth—” Reflection rubbed his eyes like it would make him hear better. “Do those instincts also defend you from existential nightmares or something?!”

“Yes!” Solgaleo said cheerfully.

“…Why?!”

To that, Solgaleo opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it with a shrug.

“So, um…” Owen nervously raised a claw. “What’s your whole point about instincts?”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Got distracted.” Solgaleo cleared his throat. “My point about instincts is… it’s part of who you are. You take great pride in your species, don’t you?” Solgaleo tilted his head at Charizard.

“Well… yes. It’s who I am. What I grew up as, and what I want to keep being.”

“Don’t you think that’s… interesting? You know, when you think about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Solgaleo shrugged. “Most souls don’t get to be the same thing for as long as you have. A century or so at most before they die and pass on, perhaps reincarnate, perhaps go into the Overworld… But never do they stay a Charizard, for example, for… two thousand or so years?”

“And?”

“Basically… you already act like a super-mortal.” Solgaleo pawed at the ground. “It’s not as different as you think. You’ve spent so much time trying to be normal-minded that you didn’t realize how… weird it is to be normal in this kind of situation. And you aren’t normal. You haven’t been normal in over a thousand years.”

Charizard shifted again, folding his wings as if defending against incoming attacks. He tried to find a neutral stance, only to realize that his neutral was a defensive position. Nothing else felt right.

“If you consider your ‘self’ as a Charizard part of your identity,” Solgaleo said gently, “then your ‘self’ has already been changed. You don’t… have thoughts like these as a normal Charizard.” He pointed at Wrath, who, enamored by the speech for once, had stopped clawing against the barrier. “No normal Charizard gets used to the things you have gone through. And no normal Charizard would do so without untold mental scars and damage. And… while you are hurt, you are functional. That is… abnormal.”

“But that’s a good thing, right?” Charizard defended. “I’m… I’m still me! So what if I can handle things a little better?”

“It is good,” Solgaleo agreed. “But what about everything else? About being a mutant and letting those instincts become part of you? Why did you spare him?”

At first, Charizard read that as an accusation. After looking directly at Solgaleo, he realized it was out of curiosity.

“What do you mean?” he said.

“You came all this way,” Solgaleo said. “You don’t seem to like me… The choice would be simple for you, wouldn’t it? You’d put me and that one to be discarded. You’d bring Owen and your reflection to your present mind. And you would pass through. That’s your answer, right?”

“No.”

Charizard turned to face Kyurem again, then at the statues where the sacrifices had to be made.

“I’m not giving any of it up. I need all of it.”

“…Even me?” Solgaleo asked.

“Yes.” Owen sighed. “I need to remember… that I made wrong choices. And that maybe I could’ve been happier. The regrets… I think they’re strong, too. They’ll remind me to think twice when I do… dramatic things.”

“And Wrath?” Solgaleo asked.

So he knew the name, too. “I need his fighting instincts. I need to be able to kill if I have to when I’m facing Alexander. I think he’ll take advantage of… if I hesitate otherwise.”

“I think I understand,” Solgaleo said. “Alexander is far beyond forgiveness. Even I can agree with that.”

“Wh-what about me?” Owen asked.

“I can’t forget what it’s like to go through what you did,” Charizard said, nodding. “To feel lost and confused, weak and helpless. If I’m making decisions for people a lot weaker than I am, even if I don’t want the world to be like that… I need to remember them. I can’t lose sight of that.”

“Another noble gesture,” Solgaleo agreed. “But… unfortunately, I do not think you can achieve that here. Do you see a way through?” Solgaleo gestured to the statues that loomed over them.

Their regal sparkle mocked Charizard and, in that silence, he wondered if those lifeless eyes were connected to any living souls.

“The way forward cannot open unless you activate them with your sacrifices,” Solgaleo said. “Even if we tried to brute force the way through somehow, it’d take a lot of time. This is the Dungeon of the Dragon Guardian. The power needed to overwhelm it… Can you imagine?”

“We have a world to save. Aramé wouldn’t stall us for that, would she?” Owen asked.

“I don’t know,” Solgaleo said. “But you know how Aramé can be when it comes to conviction and ideals. To a fault.”

“Ironic,” Charizard muttered.

“Takes one to know one,” Solgaleo pointed out.

Charizard glared, tail thwapping against the marble ground enough to leave a crack. He huffed a plume of smoke and stared at the wall again.

“…Then you’ll help us get through,” Charizard concluded.

“What?”

“I know you know what I’m talking about,” Charizard said pointedly. “You’re getting us past the wall. You know it’s a wall, don’t you?”

Solgaleo stiffened and adjusted his weight. “Well… yes… I guess I do…”

“And… you can do what Necrozma can do,” Charizard said.

“Only in here,” Solgaleo quickly said. “The domain of the Dungeon is like another world. And in it, I’ve been given a lot of power… including… doing what I could hypothetically do in my… nonexistent timeline.”

“Again with the existential sentences.” Charizard rubbed his eyes. “Seriously, does it bother you at all? You have memories of a life that never happened. Of a timeline I never explored. You’ve existed for less than a day. Why aren’t you upset?”

“I think I was made to not be upset,” Solgaleo said flatly. “Another instinct.”

“I… don’t think I like Aramé,” Owen said grimly, holding his tail tight against his chest.

“Now, come on.” Solgaleo shook his head. “I’m a tiny part of you! In that sense, I’ve existed just as long as you have! Just as… ideas in your head. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to accept. I’m simply your regrets!”

“Oh, good.” Charizard pointed at the wall. “Come on. Let’s go through.”

“That’s against the rules of the Dungeon,” Solgaleo said.

“And?” Reflection piped up as Charizard stomped to turn around and calm himself. “Don’t you think that being perfectly happy to follow everything your commander said is… a bad idea right now? If Aramé told you to stall me until the world ended, would you?”

“Well… no, I wouldn’t,” Solgaleo admitted. “But this—”

“I’m not letting anyone try to tamper with my head again,” Charizard cut in, turning around again. “I’ve had enough. I want to walk my own path without… someone, anyone, trying to shape my thoughts with their divine power! Aramé, Star, even Mom, it’s… enough.”

Owen loosened his grip on his tail. He stared at Wrath, who had settled into his little Protect bubble. It had gotten so thin, but he didn’t seem to care to strike at it.

“Even if, in this case,” Solgaleo said, “it might just wind up the same way? If you want no manipulation… why not put me in the discard pile? Maybe myself and… Wrath, who’s just a perversion of your violent flaws. You still have that in its moderated state. So…”

“Because no matter what you say,” Charizard said, “I… can’t trust that. It has to be by my own hands. At least that way, I know it’ll be done the way I want. Aramé might be good at this… but you know what? I’ve already done this before! And the five of us I sorted out were a lot less agreeable than how we are right now.”

“That’s true…” Solgaleo sighed. “Fine, okay. I’ll help… but Aramé isn’t going to be happy about this.”

“She can do her worst.” Charizard huffed. “We’ve got enemies a lot stronger than her to deal with anyway.”

At least… he hoped so. Aramé was the most powerful Guardian. Owen didn’t think he would be able to stand up to her full wrath head-on. This was a risk, but… playing along was only going to waste more time. This was the best option. And it’d have the best outcome. It had to.

Solgaleo’s starry eyes twinkled. “We do.” He held a paw toward the wall. “Okay. Time for fake-but-works-here Ultra Wormholes into the goal. Come close, please.”

Reflection rolled Wrath over; Owen hopped on Charizard’s shoulder. As a strange puncture in the already twisted space formed in front of Solgaleo, Charizard offered one last glance at the statues, this time at Zekrom with a sharp frown.

Whatever test this was, he got through it on his own terms.

<><><>​

Mu was unaffected by Dungeon distortions.

When Owen started wandering off and doing… whatever he was doing, and when Zena went in the other direction, Mu was left at the Dungeon entrance with nothing more than her book. Which she’d already finished reading.

She went back and grabbed the horns Owen had left behind so she could return them to him later. Then, she headed through the Dungeon like before. A weird beam of light hit her but didn’t do anything. Maybe it was supposed to. Oh well.

After several empty corridors, she spent a little time playing with the crystals in a big room with a glass wall. Boring. She ran ahead to a fancy-schmancy room with gaudy statues and no way forward.

Any time she saw something like that, it usually meant there was a hidden passageway, so she teleported past the room and continued down the hall.

“What?” called a deep voice. “How are you here?”

“Oh, hi.” Mu waved.

It was a Salamence and a Dragonite. The one who talked was the Salamence. Mu felt her irritation—that was the dominant emotion. She didn’t feel much from Dragonite, who stood at the side and tilted his head.

“How did you get past my Dungeon so quickly? Did you know the test?”

“I walked?”

A beat of silence. The irritation transitioned to confusion.

“What?”

“I walked. You know. Like, with my legs. Oh, except for when there was a dead end. Then I teleported because I didn’t want to bother finding the switch.”

“Why didn’t you teleport in the first place?”

“Dad said that was unhealthy and I’d become a blobby Charizard if I did that.”

Aramé squinted at her. Mu shrugged. “I might. I’m already part Void Shadow, so I’m practically a blob already.”

“You don’t seem like an—Ah!”

Mu melted into a puddle of black pudding-like material before reforming.

“Have you always been able to do that?” Aramé hissed.

“Picked it up a couple months ago. Dad said it might scare people. But you’re, like, the ultimate Guardian, right? So, it shouldn’t scare you.” She glanced at Dragonite, who was radiating mixtures of… shock and fear, yes. She was pretty sure that was it. And some disgust. “He is, though,” Mu added with a little smirk.

“Don’t rope Ire into this,” Aramé grunted.

“I, er… I never fought a Void Shadow before,” Ire admitted nervously. He had a slight accent that reminded Mu of a Kanto Pokémon. Dad had the smallest hint of it resurfacing, too, though it faded by the time he’d left for Alola and Orre.

Mu stretched her arms, legs, and tail, popping a few joints before stretching them even further to impossible angles. Then, she relaxed.

“How’s Mom and Dad doing?”

“Well, your father has made a mockery of at least two of my tests,” Aramé said.

“Sounds about right.”

“And your mother is… coming to her final decisions on which aspects of herself she values the most.”

“Aspects?” Mu asked.

“Oh, so you didn’t see any of the tests,” Ire said. The Dragonite plopped down on his belly and tilted his head at Mu. “You’re adorable.”

“Thanks. But I’m trying to grow out of that.”

“You need to grow?” Ire asked. “You’re a Void Shadow, right? Can’t you just… change shape?”

“…Huh.” Mu scratched her cheek. “Maybe.”

“Maybe? You haven’t tried?”

“Hey, gimme a break!” Mu said. “I’m only, like, a year or something old!”

“Oh!” Ire flinched. “That’s all? You’re… you act like a teenager.”

“Guess I matured fast.” Mu rolled her eyes. “Comes with getting a bunch of knowledge and memory pieces from everyone in, uh…” She counted on her claws. “Kanto, Orre, Alola, and a little bit here in Kilo.”

“…Pieces of memories?” Aramé said. “Just by proximity?”

“Mhm. Including yours.”

She always liked that little pulse of insecurity she got from those she said that to. It was fun because usually, their most insecure secrets came up right after, involuntarily, for her to see.

Dad said she shouldn’t take advantage of that. But Aramé was mean to Mom and Dad, so she could do that to them. As a treat.

“You’re… well-adjusted for someone who feeds on and learns from nothing but negative emotions,” Aramé said.

“Thanks. Mom and Dad spent a lot of their downtime talking to me about the things I learned. I didn’t like it at first, but… I dunno. Eventually, I got curious… It became a knowledge thing. Like, academic?”

Mu thought back to the little birds she’d killed in Alola and averted her eyes.

“…Is there more to that?” Aramé asked. “For only having a year of life, much of who you are must have been written in your nature, rather than your upbringing.”

“Dad doesn’t like talking about that,” Mu said. “But I mean… I don’t have evil thoughts. Like, I don’t wanna enslave everyone to be my evil minions.”

“What do you want?” Ire asked. “Like… what does a being of negativity want?”

“I dunno. Ask my other bio-dad. For me, it’s just a power. How I get the knowledge, I mean. I don’t feel it if I don’t want to… That’s what makes me different from Daddy Diyem.”

The pulse of startled revulsion from Aramé, and befuddlement from Ire, caught her off guard.

“What?”

“D… Daddy Diyem.”

“What? Too cursed?”

“Cursed?” Aramé repeated.

“Weird.”

“A bit.”

“Well, I’m gonna call him that and see how he reacts,” Mu said. “Anyway… I’ve been feeling a ton of irritation from you and how Dad broke all your tests, so I know what you wanted him to do. I thiiink I have a good idea what Mom’s doing, too. You said aspects, right? So I’m gonna bet…”

Mu thought about her mother. She was kind, but she always bottled up a fierce defiance, sometimes even more than Dad. It was surprising, in a way, that she didn’t also try to go against the test. Maybe she didn’t realize it was a test? No, her ideal aspect would have explained everything…

Mu finally answered, “I think she’s going to keep her reflection and her weaker self.”

“Good guesses,” Aramé said impartially.

“…I can’t tell if you’re being coy or not.” Mu’s snout scrunched up. “That’s annoying. Show some negative emotion.”

“Oh, I’m just entertained at how you’d guess your parents’ decisions,” Aramé said. “I guess that’s not a negative emotion… besides, I’m sure you feel my negativity at how easily you were able to grasp what I know about my Dungeon.”

“Sorry.” Mu shrugged. “Being a walking violation of privacy runs in the family. Be happier. Maybe I won’t know you as well.”

Ire rubbed the top of his head in worry. “I’m not sure if you’d make for a great therapist or a terrible one.”

“Oh, I’d be terrible. Mostly because I’m only a yearish old.”

A gust of wind blew to punctuate the silence.

“…Sooo anyway, are they here yet?”

“They’re still deliberating,” Aramé murmured.

Mu huffed and whipped her tail on the ground again. She reached over and pulled at it and it grew and grew. She darkened her scales and pulled at the back of her head, growing a horn. She sharpened her snout until it became slightly more beak-like. Around that point, she felt a slow burn of horror coming from Ire and glanced his way.

“’Sup?” she asked.

“What are you doing?”

“Tryna evolve.”

“That’s not… that’s…” Ire sat up, gesturing to his arms. “You’re not… doing it right, I think.”

“Well, I’d ask for a mirror, but I think they’re all tests here,” Mu said. She let her body revert, melting back to its Charmander base state. “Guess maybe I still follow basic evolution… Maybe I’m like Dad and I have a different element. Like. Grassmander, right? So, I must be… Voidmander.”

Ire tilted his head with uncertainty in his aura.

“Too edgy?” Mu asked.

“Edgy?”

“Like, trying to act dark and brooding and cool, but it’s cringe instead.”

Ire and Aramé both stared at her blankly.

Mu sighed. “Never mind…” She dug into her torso and pulled out a book. “I’m just gonna read until they get here.”

She turned to the next chapter—this one on the relationship between Grass Pokémon and mundane plants—and ignored the typical waves of disgust from her audience at her book storage methods.

For someone a yearish old, waiting a few hours felt like an eternity.

<><><>​

Five different kinds of Owen marched down the final hallway. Charizard led the pack. On his shoulder was Owen, the little Charmander who got a little braver every second. Beside him was Reflection, rolling Wrath in front just in case he lost it again. Taking up the rear and walking behind and between the two mirrored Charizard was Solgaleo, who had a guilty expression that avoided Aramé’s gaze as they walked to the Dungeon’s center.

This was where Zero Isle Spiral’s arms all met in a central vortex.

A thin layer of saltwater rippled with each step the Owen aspects took, mixing with fine sand and Dungeon rocks. Near the middle, atop a platform of rock only a foot higher than their current, sandy approach, was Salamence Aramé, Dragonite Ire, and Mu, still a Charmander. And, thankfully, unharmed and nonchalant.

“Wow, look at you,” Mu called, finally sitting up. “You’re walking up here like a five-draw from a gacha game. One dupe.”

“I don’t know what that is, Mu!” Charizard called routinely.

“So. You’ve arrived.” Aramé rose next, a mighty Salamence that managed to reach Charizard’s eye level while on all fours. “…And not only did you bypass my test, but you made a mockery of it.”

“Yeah.” Charizard wasn’t going to deny it. “I’m through with tests, Aramé. I already went through one with the Overseers, and I don’t know how many other things I did that count as tests. So we’re done testing. I’m ready to save the world.”

Aramé offered a wry smile. “Save the world again, you mean?” she said with a tone that Charizard refused to make him feel small.

“I know what I did wrong,” Charizard said. “It’s not happening again. And you know I’m the only one who can fix this now.”

“You’re probably right,” Aramé said. “If only by chance… and the powers you have. Under any other circumstance…”

“I’d be long dead and not the world’s problem,” Charizard completed.

“And what’s your plan?” Aramé asked. “Not for the world. But for this.” She gestured at the five of them.

“Oh, that’s true,” Ire piped up. “If you aren’t going to fuse …”

“No, we will,” Charizard said. “Aramé. You can dispel this, can’t you?”

“…Fine.” Aramé closed her eyes and took a breath. Aura encircled her…

Charizard’s claw twitched. He grasped the aura and pulled.

Aramé’s senses were sharp. The great Dragon Guardian snarled and lunged for Charizard, only for all five aspects to pull up a Protect barrier.

“You!” Aramé growled. “What are—”

Charizard clutched at the piece of aura he’d stolen.

“Proving a point,” Charizard said, his head only inches away from Aramé’s, split by a barrier. He saw the details of her scales, every wrinkle between her battle-worn skin. She trained often while inside her little domain. Her home away from the rest of the world. Her ideal place.

Charizard harnessed the aura in his hands, which flared up like a fire that had been offered the driest brush. Owen, Reflection, Wrath, and Solgaleo all looked at their hands and paws… and disappeared into motes of light, crashing down upon Charizard, and covering him in a thin layer of gold. This light, too, faded.

Owen opened his eyes. A rush of memories returned to him, but at this point, he was used to it. Some memories were fragmented hypotheticals from Solgaleo of a time that never happened, conjured by Aramé’s hypotheses and theories of what could have happened in an ideal world. He thought of them as daydreams… but there was merit to it. There was value in regret.

“Why do you insist,” Aramé said, “on hoarding all of your memories?”

“Um, I’m… lost,” Ire admitted. The Dragonite stepped next to Mu. “What did Owen do?”

“He did… something close to what I would have done,” Aramé said, “but clearly, he’s more Dragon than I. The pride he has in doing all matters himself is more than enough to make even Arceus look modest.”

Owen rolled his eyes. “At least you admit he’s… Look. I’m doing this because I am done with people tampering with my mind. Understand?”

Aramé’s jaw clenched, though she didn’t object.

“It’s not pride. It’s control. And I’m taking it. No more people trying to change my identity through my instincts, through controlling or suppressing my memory, through any of that. If you want to change me, do it the old-fashioned way. With a talk. With a fight. And—give me back my horns!”

“What? Oh. Right.” Aramé sighed, glancing at Ire.

“Oh!” Ire quickly flapped his tiny wings and went to one of the spiral’s arms, returning with a small bowl with Owen’s horns in them. “Er, here you go. Thank you for putting those in.”

“…What would have happened if I brought those with me?” Owen asked.

“Nothing. I was relying on your… politeness.”

“Oh.” Somehow this was the least expected answer. He thought that was a lie Solgaleo had been told. “…Well, you used most of that up with what happened right after.”

“I can tell.” Aramé shook her head as Owen removed his clay replicas and slipped them into his bag. He gently put his true horns back and sighed, relieved, as his Perceive returned to him.

And just within range, he sensed Zena slithering in from another of the spiral’s arms.

“Oh, hey! Mom’s here!” Mu said, running over to her. “Mom! How’d you do on your test?”

There you are.” Zena quickened her slithering. Owen noted that it was just one of her… Based on how Aramé was smiling at Zena, followed by casting a glare Owen’s way, she must have gone through the test properly.

“Zena…” Owen nervously approached. “Are you… still Zena?”

“I am, Owen. Don’t worry.” She nodded. “In fact, I feel… lighter. The Dungeon helped isolate some… parts of myself that I wasn’t happy with anyway. It was only a boost in the direction I’d wanted all along.”

Owen still didn’t like it, but… it was her choice. She took advantage of it in her way. That was fine.

“What was it like for you?” Owen asked.

Ire left the area and returned with bunches of berries and a few balls of leaves from some storage area in the Spiral’s center. He set them up so they could sit and recover from their examinations and travel, and during it, Zena talked about what she’d gone through, and Owen exchanged similar tales.

The biggest differences were how Zena had to defeat her ‘angry’ aspect, while Owen was able to contain his… and that while Owen bypassed the final test, Zena made her choices exactly as requested. However, when Zena got to the point where she’d made her decision…

“Something for… me to talk about later,” Zena admitted, glancing away. “I need some time to process it.”

“What?” Owen whispered. “Did you… get rid of Lugia?”

“Later, Owen,” Zena said gently. The Milotic coiled a little tighter and leaned against Owen as they sat against each other. Mu stopped reading to listen, looking pensive.

“Did you… want to be Lugia?” Owen said nervously. He tried to ignore the cold feeling in his chest.

“Don’t worry, Owen. I don’t… I don’t know how it all worked out. It’s fuzzy to me. Can I have some time to think about it?”

That wasn’t any help, but… he respected that. Maybe her mind was still trying to adjust to everything. It was disorienting; Owen knew that. “Okay. Sorry.”

“I’m also sorry,” Zena said. “I know you have bad experiences with… mates becoming Legends.”

“That—but you didn’t make any decisions because of me, right?” Owen asked, defying his knee-jerk reactions. Sure, he didn’t want Zena taking on that… but he didn’t want her deciding because of how he felt.

“No.” Zena shook her head. “I knew you’d be upset if I based my decisions on… how you felt alone. But it’s hard to… recall exactly. I’ll tell you later, when I have it sorted.”

Just talking to her… she felt like herself. That was good enough. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Mm.” Ire nodded sagely. “Zero Isle Spiral tests your strength, but your spirit grows if it can conquer the Dungeon. As the world’s most powerful Guardian, she can give the Spiral’s Blessing to anyone who completes that final test.”

“The Spiral’s Blessing…” Owen tilted his head. “What’s it do?”

“For you? Nothing substantial,” Aramé admitted. “It’s only a little more. It’s the ability to push yourself even further and draw out the true strength that lay dormant within all Pokémon—the ability to be a god, however small. I mostly did this test… to see if you had the mentality necessary to confront Dark Matter, who would take advantage of every insecurity you had. Every mental weakness, every… Shadow.”

“I had a feeling that was the case even before meeting Lugia,” Zena said. “Still… you could have gone without the strange, cryptic tests.”

Ire chuckled. “Well, it was on short notice,” he said. “An Overseer had requested it and we didn’t have a lot of time to prepare. We used what Aramé always used.”

Zena sighed, glancing at Owen. He let the annoyance slide and fade. He’d already proven himself to that Overseer. But if Hecto and Necrozma were anything to go by, the Overseers were thorough when they wanted to be. And redundant.

“One way or another, we got here,” Owen said. “That means we passed, right?”

“Yes. You passed… by technicality.” Aramé flashed a glare. “I could kill you for it, but that wouldn’t do much.” Her tail whipped at the ground. “…Zena passed properly. Congratulations to you, Zena.”

An awkward nod was Zena’s reply.

“…Well, I guess that’s it,” Owen said. “But Aramé… You’re coming with us, right?”

“What?”

“To help against Dark Matter. We need all the help we can get.”

“…I’m not as strong outside of my domain, this Spiral, you know.”

“You’ve been no help here,” Owen said flatly. “We had to come to you. Aside from when you helped Arceus in the Ethereal Forest, have you been able to do anything other than… guard?”

“…Those were my orders. I must guard this place.”

“Is that relevant anymore?” Owen said. “C’mon. We need to be all at the front to defend everyone else.”

“If I leave, this Dungeon could become infected,” Aramé warned. “We can’t have that. Void Shadows emerging from the former Dragon Guardian’s Dungeon?”

“…Right.” Owen stretched his wings behind him but kept his arms crossed. “…Then you’re going to help me in one last way.”

“How?” Aramé said with a suspicious glare.

“We’re going to battle.”

Ire perked up.

“You’ve spent too long in the human world,” Aramé said with an entertained smirk. “Battle, me? In my domain? You realize this would—”

“It’ll be the same, right?” Owen countered. “You could kill me, but that wouldn’t mean much.”

“I was speaking figuratively,” Aramé grunted. “…Fine. What about you?” Aramé eyed Zena.

“Where Owen fights, I fight,” Zena replied.

“Hm. Ire.”

The Dragonite sprang to his feet and thwacked his tail on the ground. The earth rumbled, leaving a fissure that trailed to a spiral arm behind him. Sand and water filled in the crack. Aramé stepped away to gain some distance and she murmured a plan to Ire. Owen could read what they said with his Perceive… but they were talking in shorthand. It could have meant anything.

“…Yeah, I’ll uh…” Mu vanished, reappearing at the center’s edge. “Good luuuuck!” she called.

Zena coiled up and readied herself. Her feather-fan covered her face, hiding her first prepared move, while Owen watched Aramé closely. It looked like Aramé was someone who preferred to finish things quickly. She wasn’t going to hold back, even for a sparring match. Ire… Owen didn’t know much of Ire, but he wasn’t as big of a threat. But he could get in the way…

“Zena,” Owen whispered. “I want you to prepare Life Dew after you attack Ire. Like we practiced.”

“Okay.”

That was all they needed. It was a new strategy, but they’d spent a lot of time in the human world planning for things like this.

“Ready?” Aramé called.

“We’re ready.”

“Mu,” Aramé called. “Mark the battle’s opening.”

“Oh, uh… okay!” She cleared her throat and stood up straight. “This is a battle between Guardian Aramé with Spirit Ire and Guardians, uh… Mom and Dad! Trainers—uh, I mean, fighters, ready… begin!”

As predicted, Aramé wasted no time in toying with her foes. She gave everything she had in one strike, conjuring meteors in the sky and raining them down upon Owen with exact precision. Owen brought his arms up and created a barrier, blocking the attack and kneeling from the force it exerted anyway. Ire flew in with his claws enveloped in indigo fire, but Zena deflected it with a powerful Hydro Pump.

While that didn’t do much, she chained it with an Ice Beam, flash-freezing the Dragonite mid-flight. She grabbed the new rod of ice with Ire at the end with her tail and, despite it being tens of feet long, swung it at Aramé as she conjured her meteors.

Ire slammed into Aramé and pinwheeled into the ground below, dissolving before he could even get a hit in. Aramé, however, was barely affected by the combination strike.

That struck Owen as odd. Ire dissolved far too easily.

His Perceive didn’t detect it, but his eyes did: Ire’s phantom loomed over Aramé, bolstering her aura to the point where it felt like Owen’s scales were peeling off. It warped the light around her as the Draco Meteor onslaught continued, giving Owen no break.

Then came the soothing cool of Life Dew. It wasn’t much, but it kept Owen going long enough to grasp at the Draco Meteor’s essence… and Aramé’s power.

Just what he was waiting for.

The meteors finally stopped. Aramé had to rest—but her aura was as strong as ever. The fatigue that Draco Meteor usually inflicted on the user… simply didn’t manifest. Aramé was truly powerful…

But the battle was already over.

“You’re still standing,” Aramé remarked. “But it looks like you don’t have the strength to fight back.”

Owen was on his knees, one hand in the sand, the other on that arm’s bicep.

“I wasn’t aiming at you.”

Owen’s flame turned black and white. That energy spiraled around his tail, up his back, and into his arm where it mixed with Aramé’s power. Then, he pumped it into the sand, where the energy rippled out in a single pulse. It trailed around every spiral’s arm in a matter of seconds and infected the walls of the Dungeon.

Aramé gasped. “STOP!” she roared.

Hastily, she conjured a second Draco Meteor—

Too late.

Owen sent a second pulse, triggering a Dungeon-wide shockwave. Zena took on a defensive stance and covered her eyes. Mu crossed her arms and formed a black-white Protect. And everything around Owen erupted in Chaotic energy. He heard something shatter, ethereal and glass-like. When he glanced upward, he saw the very skyline light up, twist, and break.

The labyrinth collapsed into piles of sand. The meteors evaporated with the blast. And the oppressive atmosphere of the Dungeon… became nothing but a memory.

In complete shock, Aramé only stared. Owen pointed a claw at her, forming several meteors above the arena. He held them.

“…Give up?” Owen asked.

“Owen…” Zena looked around. “What… was that?”

“Testing a theory,” Owen said. “It’s for something I’m going to need to do a lot more.”

Aramé landed—stumbled—on the Spiral. She stared, left and right, and the ruins of the spiral, which was now more like a grassy sandbar.

“You… it’s gone,” she whispered in total disbelief. “Owen, what did you do? What did… you… DO?!”

Owen stood tall, frowning. “I sealed a wound that Kilo has. I closed a gateway into the Voidlands.”

“YOU BLEW UP MY HOME?!”

“W-well, yes, but you were coming with us anyway, so—”

Aramé turned her body around and whipped Owen with her tail across his face. A golden barrier dulled the pain… but she had quite the swing. It still stung.

“Okay, I deserved that one—”

She swung again. Then clawed at his belly. Each hit was blocked by a barrier and Owen nervously stepped back. Every strike conveyed anger, but… he also sensed that Aramé was impressed—and not as mad as she could have been.

After several more blows—Zena and Mu awkwardly watching—Aramé stomped her paw on the ground and huffed.

“Completely and utterly unnecessary,” Aramé said. “You could have informed me of this ploy. I would have agreed.”

Owen had his doubts.

“But… you must have sensed it, too,” she said. “The weakening barrier. Did you think Alexander would have tried to pass through here?”

“It would’ve been bad if he did,” Owen said. “But… don’t worry. Yours is the first of many. I figured out how to seal off the Dungeons. And if we do that… we can control where Alexander emerges from.”

“I see…” Her anger slowly subsided. “…And… Arceus must also have informed you that my time to leave this place was at hand anyway.”

Owen nodded. “But you couldn’t,” she said, “because you had to guard the Dungeon. So, I got rid of that part. I wasn’t sure if it was possible…”

Aramé sighed. “Next time,” she said, “explain what you will do. We can’t have improvisations for the true fight.”

“I will,” Owen said with a shrinking flame.

“He just wanted to be cool,” Mu piped up.

“I didn’t! It just seemed like the best way to get Aramé’s strongest hit! I think… it wouldn’t have worked otherwise.”

“Oh?” Aramé said.

“Yeah.” Owen made vague gestures with his hands. “See, the way it works is, when I Usurp an attack, I need to—”

“Um, can this wait?” Mu suddenly spoke up.

“What?”

Mu pointed at the northern horizon.

Owen had been so focused on Aramé and the others that he didn’t realize a giant, shadowy leviathan with five heads and countless eyes had been flying toward them. And now that he had some reading done in the human world… Nate looked a lot like Eternatus in its unleashed form. Yet… somehow even more disturbing. Blackened and covered in eyes… What was up with that?

“Isn’t that Nate?” Zena said.

“Yes. Why is he coming here?” Aramé murmured. “Come. Let’s meet him. I’ll have my comeuppance with you afterward.”

Owen winced. She meant it.

<><><>​

They met at the former Spiral’s northern arm’s edge. Nate landed gingerly, making several waves anyway due to his size. Owen landed just in front of him, craning his neck up as he figured out which eye to look at. Aramé, Zena, and Mu stood behind him.

“Hey, Nate,” he said. “You… came to see us?”

Yes. I… must ask you something, Nate said.

Him, specifically? That answered a few suspicions Owen had.

The report from Alola… told him that a small piece of his spirit was missing. It couldn’t be in the Voidlands—he was whole after that ordeal, and nobody found a trace of him afterward. He hadn’t been fragmented there.

All the other Dungeons were the same way. If they sought Owen out, they found nothing. The piece missing… had to have been old. Ancient. And hidden somewhere nobody had the opportunity to check…

His first guess had been Zero Isle Spiral, somehow. But obviously—even though it loved to fragment those who entered—Owen hadn’t recovered a thing. His fragment wasn’t sealed here.

And now, Nate was coming here, just before Owen planned to set off to find it.

That’s when he realized just what happened.

“Nate,” Owen said. “…May I have my final piece back?”

Most of Nate’s eyes widened with surprise. Zena and Aramé glanced at each other with confusion. Mu leaned forward, her attention on something else of Nate.

…It’s… exactly as you planned, Nate said, somewhere between awe and disbelief.

From the palm of the hand-like, multi-headed creature, a small, golden mote emerged and drifted toward Owen. It said nothing, yet Owen felt a warm, proud, triumphant smile radiating off its aura.

“Hey,” Owen said. “How… old are you?”

The mote of light pulsed rhythmically. The waves settled again after Nate’s shifting stopped.

Then, in a voice like Wishkeeper’s, yet with the serenity of a white cloud, the mote said, Let me show you.

It drifted to Owen’s chest…

And Owen’s two thousand years of memories unified with a thousand more.

<><><>​

Author's Note: Thanks, everyone, for reading! Incoming is the final Special Episode of HoC. As such, expect it to take twice as long to get out. The publication date for the final Special Episode will be May 19th. See you then!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. quilava-fobbie
  5. sneasel-kate
  6. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, it took a couple sittings to get through this one, but I figured that it was about time to chip away at that last prize review of HoC that I owed you from PMDiner's Review Event. So let's pick up right where we left off with with…

Chapter 17

Anam, Rhys, James, and Amia all left for Manny’s Spire of Trials. In the meantime, Nevren paid a visit after he was summoned, and left to rally up Kilo Village. That left everybody else to go through some training with Star, who was summoned this time by Zena. Compared to when Star had been summoned by someone else, Star was barely solid, and for the most part, could only be heard. There were a few instances where Pokémon accidentally passed right through the Mew phantasm because they didn’t see her. And, generally, it was hard to tell the pink cloud of Mew-shaped smoke from everything else.

Waaaait, are we about to get a Nevren-PoV scene in this story for the first time in like 10 chapters, or...?

Owen was sitting at the town square, just below a small bulletin board that went largely unused. He stared at it nostalgically; he knew every corner of that board, the way it was carved from stone and then melted at the edges to look shiny. There was a small bowl of grayish-yellow adhesive to the side of the board that was used to stick papers on; when it was no longer needed, it could just be peeled off. Owen remembered how he once put a notice here. ‘Looking for a new rock, at least two feet in height, polished! Will pay 3000 Poké!’ was what he had posted.

It ended up being a very good rock.

Scratch that, looks like it's Owen's PoV this scene after all. Though sounds like this kid needs to get his priorities straightened out if he's got 3000 Poké to blow on random rocks bigger than he is for much of his existence.

He had bought it with his allowance that he’d saved up from Amia and Alex, after spending most of it on treats and fighting materials. But now, what could he post there? Especially now that he knew all of the other Pokémon that had lived in town were dead and hiding out in Amia’s Fire Orb to leave room for the newcomers. Owen felt a sudden heaviness in his chest.

How could his parents do that to him? All of the friends he had were spirits. They weren’t even around anymore—they had to make room for all the Guardians and their spirits. What was the point of all that, anyway?

I can't tell whether or not the implication is that Owen's been bugged by this all this time since the big reveal of what Hot Spot Cave really was to him, or if he's had a "... Boy, that's really messed up when you stop and think about it" epithany in the wake of the past chapter's events.

I do wonder if this one paragraph is effectively two smaller ones, since the last two sentences feel pretty different in subject matter and vibe than the ones beforehand.

Spirits… It had been a while since Owen thought about the ones he had. Were they watching the whole time?

Wait…”

He looked around. It seemed that mostly everybody was training in their own corners of Hot Spot, focusing on what they felt was most necessary. Zena was nearest to Owen, despite this. Star was also nearby.

Um—Star?”

“Yo.” The Mew in question was watching everybody and their training, giving pointers when necessary. Zena, in particular, was still gathering her energy after expending so much into summoning Star.

Oh that's not worrisome and paranoia-inducing at all there...
:copyber:


“How do I summon spirits?”

“Oh, you wanna learn that? Yeah, I guess you should, especially since everybody else knows how to do it. It actually isn’t that hard, either. Zena, didn’t you accidentally spit someone out when you used Water Gun once?

:copyka:


Ah yes, I see we're getting shades of that already even before Emily's proper debut in this story.

“Y-you promised you wouldn’t speak of that!” Zena squeaked.

“O-oh, sorry,” Star said. “But hey, wasn’t a Divine Promise, heh… S-sorry. Really.”

Zena, flushing red, slithered away to compose herself.

Yeeeeah, Star totally isn't sorry, I can already tell. Though that makes me wonder what other sorts of ultra-embarrassing shenanigans happen with the other Guardians and their summoning of spirits.

“A-anyway, it feels a lot like using an Attack, okay? But instead, it feels like you’re focusing… inward, and then bringing something out… That make sense?”

“I think I understand,” Owen said, closing his eyes. “Inward… inward… Wait—who do I summon?”

Oh, so that's how Zena puked up a spirit once upon a time. I wonder if that means that that's a decently common beginner's flub for Guardians who can use breath attacks when summoning spirits.

[ ]

“Uhh,” Star said. “Why don’t you try talking to them? It’s kinda like talking to yourself in your head. You’ll get a response. Hey, you might even feel them reaching out. That’ll make it easier to summon them.”

“Okay, let me try.” He closed his eyes and tried to ignore everything that his five senses gave him. It was easier than usual; this part of town was quieter, and the heat was nothing to his natural body.

Um… hello? Is anybody there? Owen said. It’s me, um, Owen.

A few voices replied to him—various forms of hello. Owen knew that if they’d done this to him earlier, he would’ve thought he was going crazy.

Wow. That certainly was a lot further than what I was expecting Owen to get on his first try. Though I do wonder if it might have made sense to break up the string of dialogue lines somewhere around when Star has her "err..." moment with some description or inner thoughts from Owen.

H-hi! I—I didn’t think that’d… work! Um—have you guys always been there?

Various answers that confirmed.

W-wow, okay… I didn’t expect that, he said. Are you enjoying watching all this? I hope you guys aren’t too bored there.

More responses, though they seemed mostly positive.

I'm... not sure if I'm really feeling the way that the "multiple responses" is being handled in this sequence. Like I get why it's being done as a way to not beat around the bush, but I do wonder if things would've been more interesting to see like 3-4 distinct voices of Owen's spirits and Owen grappling with the enormity of what's happening, especially since that could be used as a foreshadowing tool for a spirit or two of Owen's that will become plot-relevant in the future.

Owen blushed slightly. A-anyway, I wanted to summon one of you guys for practice! Is that okay? Who can I summon and stuff? I just really want to learn this new technique. Everyone else knows it, and I gotta catch up!

Well… I suppose I can,
said a voice. Owen got the impression that it was Klent, the Jumpluff—the previous Guardian.

>the previous Guardian

Okay, now I'm curious, but what on earth happened to Klent anyways? Since the fact that he's in the Grass Orb at all implies that he died sometime back, but as we've seen, Pokémon in this story with Mystic abilities usually aren't particularly easy to kill.

Klent! Right? I’m glad to hear you again! Um… sorry I didn’t talk to you guys until now. It’s kinda been a really rough few days, and then I got distracted…

Owen: "Also, I kinda didn't know that I could even do this up to this point, so..." ^^;

It’s okay, Owen, Klent replied.

Owen felt something inside his chest. No—not quite. But it felt like it was coming from there. Was that Klent trying to summon himself? But it wasn’t enough. Owen had to help.

Okay,” Owen said.

It felt like meditating. He went deep into himself, into his spirit, and found Klent’s presence. Then, with another thought, he pushed him out. More and more… it felt like something rising out of his body. A gentle warmth, even for his Fire. Owen briefly wondered if going Grass would’ve made it easier or harder to summon someone.

It's probably an authorial style/nitpicking thing, but this one paragraph feels like it'd work better split around Owen's brief line there. Though oh boy, is this going to result in Owen having a turn at barfing up a spirit in public?
:copyka:


A blue ember flew out of Owen’s chest, landing a few feet ahead of him. There, it turned into four little spheres—Owen recognized this as the base of a Jumpluff’s shape. It then solidified enough to be visible, like Klent was made out of lightly colored glass that was also on fire.

“A-are… are you okay?” Owen asked.

“I believe so,” Klent replied, looking at his pom-poms. “Hmm. I feel very… ghostly.”

Yeah, we could tell from the hitodama aesthetic, Klent. Though that actually makes me wonder if there's something significant about the color that a spirit's fire / aura / whatever comes in, since I remember it being explicitly mentioned in an earlier chapter that they could also come in red and green even if blue appears to be the "default".

[ ]

“Sorry. I guess I’m not strong enough yet.”

“Yeah,” Star said, “your Mysticism is actually a lot higher than when you started off, more than I expected, actually, but you don’t know how to use it yet, is the problem,” Star said. “That’s what I’d call a measure of how adept you are at using your divine power. Mysticism. And since you’re still working on it, don’t worry! You’ll improve fast.

I see no real reason to disbelieve that one given how rapidly things changed for Owen and Team Alloy just within the first ten chapters. Though it does make me wonder how deep the rabbit hole of Mysticism-driven abilities goes since a lot has already gotten revealed up to this point in the story, and there's like 160 more after this one.

“Mysticisismum… Mystici…” Owen gave up. “I’m stronger than expected?”

“Mhm,” Star nodded. “See, being exposed to powerful Mystics… kinda also raises the power faster. Like a feedback loop. So, the training you guys do with each other is gonna benefit you the most, Owen, since you’re the furthest behind. Oh, and not to mention you nearly died during that fight with Azu, that boosts your Mystic power, too!”

Oh hey, it's basically that one semi-common fanon idea of what makes trained Pokémon / Pokémon in proximity to a human become unstoppable gods of war under the right circumstances... I wonder if there's any relation between the two in this story, since it's already been strongly implied (and confirmed once knowing that In Beta shares a universe) that this is a post-human setting.
:lucathink~2:


“I—I have to nearly die to get stronger?! What kind of system is that?!”

One that I'm pretty sure that Star had a hand in creating given how prominently she features on the story's cover art, Owen.

“Just a side-effect.” Star shrugged. “It’s not ideal… but hey, you also nearly drowned with Zena, remember? So that’s another boost! Stress on the aura trying to cling to the body is a real workout for the spirit, you know. Usually doesn’t mean anything, but for a Mystic, you can use that to get more in touch with your spiritual side. Literally.”

So dying repeatedly, but not enough to die "for real"™️ is the key to growing stronger as a Mystic. I guess that "what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" is quite literally the rule of thumb for greatness as a Mystic in HoC-verse.

... Though that makes me wonder how many times Anam or one of the higher Mystics has kicked the bucket in the past. Since they're waaaay up there in strength, and if Star's explanation was remotely accurate...

Owen crossed his arms and pouted. She had a point, but he didn’t want to admit it. This reckless lifestyle that once endangered him was actually paying off. At least he was more strategic in battle. “What else raises Mysticis—mys—is there a better name for it?”

“Divinity?”

“Mysticism it is,” Owen grumbled.

... I'm sorry, but did Star just casually imply that Mystics in this setting undergo apotheosis? As in they're literally ascending to godhood thanks to the power they've been given (which presumably has been yoinked by Arceus or someone else on the totem pole)?

Star giggled. “What else raises it? Lots of spiritual and aura stuff that Rhys does,” she said. “Meditation, mental training, grueling endurance, powerful emotions, near-death experiences… the works. Stuff that the body normally wouldn’t want.”

“So… not fighting?”

“That’s for your normal abilities; that tunes your aura with your body,” Star explained. “Mysticism tunes your aura to the power that your body draws from, directly. The connection from your aura to your spirit. Subtle difference.”

“I don’t get it.”

So basically, you undergo things that your body normally wouldn't want or find desirable in order to gain the power to break the rules of the universe. I wonder if Legendaries in this setting also have to do that to wield their power at full blast given that Star more or less just stated that Mysticism runs off the same juju that "gods" in this setting have.

“You will. Just practice more.”

“Ngh…”

I mean, given the track record of this story up to this point, I see no real reason to disbelieve Star there. Even if I assume that this is one of those "easy(-ish) to wield, hard to master" abilities for a Mystic.

They repeated this process a few times. Star left to train the others while Owen practiced under Klent’s instructions. Klent vanished as an ember and reentered Owen’s body.

Zena was eventually unable to maintain Star’s form, and the pink smoke faded in the air. Willow summoned her next, practicing with ADAM and Valle. The Joltik practiced summoning her twisted spirits, all of them preferring to become giant mushrooms of some kind, screaming and laughing at anybody who approached, occasionally exploding. ADAM, meanwhile, focused on summoning the few spirits he had within his Normal Orb. They behaved oddly like ADAM, moving stiffly and erratically, though given how transparent they were, it was clear that this was not a technique that the Porygon-Z was used to.

For a second, I thought that the implication was that ADAM's spirits were all various Porygon line 'mons. Though I wonder how his spirits compare to the various visual glitches you might encounter for character models in S/V in terms of appearance, since that description doesn't sound that different.

Valle practiced by meditating. That is, he stood still in the middle of Hot Spot and observed the cave’s walls.

Owen: "Does he ever have a moment when he's not meditating?"
:UnimpressedCabot:


“Is that even a valid way to train?”

“Well, it’s meditating.” Star’s smoky form made what Owen could only guess was a shrug. “And I guess since he’s expanding his aura a ton to feel the whole cave, that’s pretty good training. And—”

Willow and a few of her mushrooms screamed at one another. Willow tackled a blue one, which puffed up and exploded, making all of the others scream and hop along the ground, tackling one another.

Owen:
Image

"Seriously, why on earth does she have to do that?" >_>;

“Oh, come on.” Star sighed, pressing her paws on her forehead. “I gotta go break them up.” She flew away, leaving Owen and Zena alone.

The Charmander stared uneasily at the exploding mushrooms. “How long have we known her, again?”

“Not very long,” Zena replied. “…Do you… not remember?”

Oh, so Zena wasn't kept in the loop for Owen getting memory-wiped. Probably. Maybe. Or at least I think that's the implication of her "Do you not remember" line there.

Owen looked at Zena. “I mean,” he said, “I know that we met her recently, but I kinda—I don’t know. To be honest—” He laughed nervously. “I think this Mystic stuff is making my memories a little foggy. Is that normal?”

“I’m sure it’s just shock,” Zena said, strained. “Owen, do you—do you really not remember anything? How much do you remember?”

“I remember I was fighting Azu,” Owen said. “And I remember… I think I remember fighting Willow. And training. I think I remember that. Oh, and I remember fighting that Aerodactyl. I wonder how he’s doing. He’s probably a Broken Heart now, making up for his crimes.”

Zena fidgeted with her ribbons. “What about me?” she asked.

Oh, so Zena really was left out of the loop for Owen and Team Alloy getting reset. That feels like one hell of an oversight there given that the two were clearly developing feelings for each other.

“Huh?”

“Me. Do you remember anything about me?”

Owen paused. “Oh! I remember we fought Rhys. Yeah. That was pretty scary, actually. I hope when I get stronger, I can rematch him.” He nodded. “He beat me in one hit.”

“You only remember your fights?” Zena asked.

Owen: "Uh... I mean, I guess pain has a way of sticking in one's mind a bit more? That's not an issue, right?"
Zena:
Image

Owen: "Uh... Zena?"
:ohnowen:


Owen scratched the back of his head in thought. “Yeah, I think so. But that’s the most important part, in a way, since I can learn from all those fights. Muscle memory! That’s a really important type of memory.”

Zena stared in silence. Her tail coiled around itself in a tight circle.

Yeah, I figured that she wouldn't take things well. Though I wonder if we've been a bit heavy on dialogue without interleaving description or inner thoughts for the last 10-ish paragraphs. I'm admittedly not sure what to suggest right here, but it's something that stood out.

“Did… did we hang out more often than what I’m remembering?”

“No, we didn’t,” Zena said curtly. “Your memory is just fine. Like I said, Owen. You’re still in some kind of shock from the fight. Your Mystic power will help you recover in time.”

Owen hummed, scaly brow furrowing. “I don’t know, Zena.” He eyed her carefully. “Can you at least fill me in on some of the details I’m missing? Maybe it’ll help jog my memory!”

“No. You’re just fine,” Zena said.

Zena:
Image


And no, Owen's absolutely not fine, and neither are you, Zena. Since I could see that reaction to you being told that Owen didn't remember meeting you.

She seemed tense, but Owen’s perception was dull. He had the vaguest idea that his senses used to be a lot sharper for these sorts of things. But now? It all felt muddled.

And he knew he used to be a Charmeleon. Zena should have known, too. Why was she hiding it from him? It was like everybody was playing along to keep the secret. He could tell that much. Zena knew, too. He saw it in her eyes. But—was it for something important? Or was it just another lie, like Hot Spot’s villagers?

Image


No. He wasn’t going to live through something like that again. Zena felt too important for him to leave those memories locked away. He didn’t know why. It was just a feeling. Feelings. He could remember those. If only he could also remember the details. He also had a feeling who it was that was behind keeping everyone quiet.

Just saying, this is a really, really strong argument for keeping a journal and then just never telling anyone else about its existence, Owen.

“Zena,” Owen said. “Do you trust Star?”

“Star?” Zena scoffed. “Of course not.”

Owen wasn’t expecting such a forward answer. “O-oh. You don’t?”

“No. I’m only following this group because you—” Zena stopped herself. “Because… it’s better than being alone. There are others that I can talk to here and I feel safer. I can tell that it’s the same for most of the other Guardians, too."

[ ]

"It isn’t that we trust Star. It’s that she’s offering a better alternative than… being alone. And, I suppose in Valle’s case, he’s satisfied with his new cave.” The Milotic rolled her eyes. “But don’t you remember why I don’t trust… well, no… why I simply can’t forgive her so easily? I’d think at least that would be something you’d remember,” she hissed.

I personally feel as if Zena's dialogue here works better as two separate paragraphs with something in between. Though I have to wonder if Zena isn't fully in the loop regarding the process of Owen getting his memories tampered with, since she sure feels offended that Owen basically completely forgot about her when you'd think that that would be something that would've gotten explained to her in the "yes, I know this sounds terrible, but we need to do this" briefing after the damage control over the past couple chapters.

“A-about that,” Owen said, shrinking back. “O-oh, wait. I think I do, I—”

Owen sat in the middle of Anam’s office. Zena was trembling around him, burying her face in her coils. Her body constricted around Owen, her scales grinding against the rocky wall behind her. The Charmeleon desperately held Zena steady, trying to keep her together.

Owen clutched at his head. “OHH, that one hurt,” he grunted. His tiny body would’ve been split in two if she’d squeezed any harder! But that memory… that confirmed it. Charmeleon. He looked up at the Milotic in his memory.

Oh, so he does still have lingering memories of Zena buried down deep enough. Duly noted.

Zena gasped, slithering backward. “Owen?” She bit at her lower lip uncertainly.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine. I think—I think I should stop thinking for a little bit.” Owen looked up, seeing the Milotic back away like she’d done something she shouldn’t have. Eyes of regret. She was keeping it a secret. Everyone was. It was Hot Spot all over again. “Zena? Listen—tell me again, just—why, with Star and—”

“I need to go,” Zena said abruptly, turning around.

Owen: "Hey! Wait! You can't just get mad at me for not remembering things and then turn around and-!" O_O;

“Uh—Zena!” Owen said. “Wait! I—”

“Practice your summoning,” the Milotic said. “I need to meditate.”

[ ]

“But…” Owen frowned. “But I just… want to remember…”

Wait, is Zena supposed to still be right there? Or is she already out the proverbial door? If the latter, it might've made sense to more explicitly describe that.

Owen… Klent said from within his spirit. Let’s just practice for now. Let her unwind. She’s obviously tense.

Okay, so that wasn’t just me?
Owen said. I know I upset her with what I said, but—I just don’t remember, Klent! I—

She understands. She just needs time. Please, let’s keep practicing.


Owen sighed. Fine.

... Actually, that makes me curious now as to if Owen can use the spirits from the Grass Orb as a bypass to his memories getting wiped in successive cycles. Since they do seem to have a level of autonomy from the people that conjure them.

Owen summoned him again, over and over, improving his technique until—finally—the Jumpluff appeared, but instead of being opaque like before, he was solid. The Jumpluff was indistinguishable from others, just like the other spirits that Owen knew all his life. This thought sent another pang through him—of what, he still couldn’t identify. Anger, betrayal, sadness… confusion. He was pretty sure it was confusion. He couldn’t see himself holding a terrible grudge against his own parents, after all. They meant well.

I better not be developing a complex, Owen thought bitterly. But then he addressed Klent with a smile and a presenting motion with his arms.

Narrator: "He is absolutely developing a complex."

“Oh, you did it,” Klent said, inspecting his pom-poms with a neutral expression. “Very good.”

“You don’t seem too happy about that,” Owen said, crossing his arms. “I mean, c’mon, aren’t you glad to be alive again? I mean… basically-alive? …Solid?”

“I suppose I am,” Klent said. “I just didn’t think it would be under these circumstances.”

Owen: "Wait. 'Under these circumstances'? What's that supposed to mean?" ._.;

“Oh—circumstances?” Owen asked. “What do you mean?” He glanced at Klent and, for half of a second, they locked eyes. Owen saw… something, there, in those eyes. What was it? It put a horrible pit in his stomach, eating at him from the inside. “Klent?”

Klent shook his head. “Sorry. I suppose I’m still bitter about dying, is all.”

I suppose that would explain why Klent never pulled a Forrest all this time and has been chilling inside the Grass Orb all this time. Though I wonder just how much of a correlation there is between a Pokémon that dies and lingers as a spirit and having some sense of "unsettled"-ness about them and their circumstances of dying.

Then why was he looking at him that way? “Yeah, I guess that’s pretty… yeah,” he said, stepping forward. His eyes—they were similar to what he saw before when he first entered the Grass Orb. That hesitation to meet him. Why did they all hesitate? Were they shy, or…? And the way Klent looked at him, too.

“…Owen?” Klent asked. His eyes softened. “Are you okay?”

I mean, if you have to ask the question, Klent... though I can't tell whether or not this is Owen thinking that Klent has a crush on him or something else entirely.

“I—yeah, I’m okay,” Owen said. “Klent… can I ask you something?”

“As… as one of your spirits, I suppose I’ll have to at least listen to your question,” he said.

Owen glanced back. Star was still busy. He looked back at Klent. If there was one person he could put his trust in right now, it’d be the very spirits that were a part of his being. They wouldn’t lie to him. “How come I’m a Charmander again?”

Oh, so Owen did realize that at least on paper, his spirits can serve as a bypass to the whole reset cycle.

“Pick a different question,” Klent said lowly. He hadn’t even hesitated to reply; the quickness—did Klent know he was going to ask that?

Whelp, so much for the brilliant idea of using these guys as a bypass. Even if I suppose that indirectly answered the question.

“S-so I really was a Charmeleon,” Owen said softly.

Klent looked at Star. “Owen, stay here, I need to—”

“Please, don’t tell her,” Owen begged. “I don’t want to forget. I… It’s messing with my head. I feel like I’m losing my mind—why? What’s happening? Why does it feel like there are huge holes where my past should be? I—I don’t even know how old I am, Klent. Please… What’s… why am… why is everything like this?”

Owen, hasn't Klent literally been dead before you started being able to wield Mystic abilities? I'm not really convinced that he would know more than you would short of Star blabbing to him about what's been going on.

The Jumpluff hesitated again. He looked cornered and eyed Star. He wouldn’t be able to get there in time even if he tried. His eyes were frantic and said it all: Owen wasn’t supposed to be behaving this way, and it was a surprise. Why was he regaining his memories so quickly?

“Why did Star trust me to have this Orb?” Owen pressed. “What’s so special about me? How come I’m so strong for a Charmander, a—a late-evolver, too. Like the others. Why can I do Fire Trap? Only I know it. Only me.” Owen’s mind was racing. Connecting. He was always good at this—when he was focused on something, he could make connections quickly and easily. He did it in battle all the time, finding just the right tactic to beat an opponent many times stronger than he was. But tactics alone wouldn’t make him that special. James was the same way—tactical—perhaps even better. So why him?

Because as the last chapter strongly implied, you were literally made for this purpose, Owen. To what end is still a mystery, even if I'm not holding my breath on Klent giving a direct answer here.

Owen thought again. What other people had strange, special talents? Stronger than usual? Late-evolving? Gahi. A Trapinch that was incredibly fast. He gave off the signs of a Pokémon with Speed Boost, on top of already incredible speed, even for his slowest, larva-like form. Mispy. Her aura reading, for one, not to mention her incredible healing talent, and her slow-charge Solar Beam. Demitri. He was slow, but nothing held back his attacks. He could take more hits than all of them combined. Owen had a vague memory of him smashing through even his Protect shields of light during a distant sparring match.

Those strange Pokémon. The Ninjask that Star talked about. The Luxray, too. They were strange, just like he was. A Pokémon with no ancestry. A Pokémon that was created by some other way. Who were his parents? The ones he was born from. Amia and Alex never knew. And Rhys—why did he know so much about—

Oh, so Owen is starting to put two and two together. Though that makes me wonder... has Owen been able to do all of this all this time even without Mystic power? Or did he wind up getting some amount of it even before the Grass Orb that he got lazored from his memory?

Though either way, it does seem to point in the direction of him and Team Alloy being mutants in some capacity. Since I can see that final paragraph there.

The bed. The Rawst bed. Not only did he have one in his home in Hot Spot Cave, but there was also one in Rhys’ old home. Who would ever need a Rawst bed in that cave? Rhys didn’t take guests. Sure, he tended to gather useless trinkets. But a bed?

“Klent,” Owen finally said again. The Jumpluff was taking slow steps away, trying to get to Star. “Please, wait! Klent! I… I need to know!”

Klent: "I... uh... lo siento, no te entiendo."
Owen: "We're a monolingual setting, Klent! Seriously, what on earth is going on such that nobody is willing to tell me the truth?!"
:WHY:


Klent ran as fast as his light body would allow. Little puffs of dandelion seeds flew from his pom-poms in his frantic dash. Owen didn’t yet know how to forcibly recall a spirit. He had to chase after him.

“Klent, PLEASE!” Owen yelled. “What—what am I?!

Yeah, I kinda figured that Klent would basically pull the:
mgs3_comic_running.png

card on Owen there.

Star turned around, ears twitching at the question. She saw Klent running toward him with primal fear in his glassy eyes, and then Owen right behind him. She flicked her hand and created a barrier to stop Owen from advancing; he slammed his fist helplessly against it. Star floated toward him.

“Whoa, whoa, h-hang on, Owen!” Star said. “Just—just breathe, okay? Just breathe! This’ll only take a second…”

“NO! DON’T TAKE THEM AWAY!” Owen screamed, clutching his head. Star’s paw glowed, but when he said that, the light flickered.

P-please,” Owen said again, staring at the Mew with wide eyes. “I don’t want to forget! I know someone’s messing with my head—taking away my memories! There’s… they’re missing. I’m missing so much of my past! I—I can see the holes, they’re—they’re all covered up and scooped out of my head…” Tears bubbled at the sides of his eyes, tracing the ridges of his scales.

Klent: "... Have you tried keeping a journal-?"
Star: "(Klent, don't encourage him! This is serious!)" >_>;

“O-okay, Owen, just—just calm down! Look, l-look, no light! It’s gone, no light!” Star waved her paws in the air; indeed, the light was gone.

Hyperventilating, Owen sat down. He was dizzy. He wanted to throw up.

Huh. I honestly wasn't expecting Star to back off there. Even if I'm
:sceptical~1:
as to why she'd do that without some sort of ulterior motivation in play.

He sat in the middle of some forest, reading a book with Amia and Alex nearby. They had gone out more often back then. How far back? He was a Charmeleon.

He was playing marbles with a few of the other villagers. He was a Charmander. His tiny hands made it easy to make precise shots. He won every time.

Huh. That makes two Chars with memory problems from Pokémon fanfiction I'm aware of who are crack shots at marbles. I wonder if that's independent evolution for character details or if @Shades of Antioch did that as a HoC reference.

The chest pain returned. Something ran right through his back—a blade from the end of a tail, plunged into him. His mother cried his name.

He was flying—the memory abruptly cut off.

Oh hey, it's the Prologue. I mean, I suppose we already knew it from those disembodied dialogue sequences that strongly implied that once upon a time Owen was a Charizard, but that confirms that he's been a Charmeleon even before the events of the story on at least one occasion.

“O-oh… oh, Arceus… h-how old am I?” Owen said. His head was pounding. He wasn’t sure if it was his breathing or his tears that made his vision so blurry.

That depends on if his "coming back from death" shtick is always in the same body, or if this is XG/XB3 all over again where the characters keep coming back in a reincarnation cycle. It's prooooobably the former since the story has all but openly stated that Owen doesn't have parentage as we know it, but...

“Owen, shh, shh… just… just breathe, okay? Stay with me.” Star held Owen’s shoulders, but her paws were barely effective. “Your aura is out of control—just breathe… Owen? Close your eyes… just focus on my voice, okay? Owen, can you hear me? Owen?”

It wasn’t working. Owen’s entire body was shaking; he couldn’t see anymore. It was all dark. It felt like his tail’s flame was covering his whole back.

He heard roaring. It was his voice. He remembered roaring. Such a horrible noise. The roars in his mind translated into desperate whimpers for the others to hear.

Well, I suppose that's a sign that his final evolution presently has some problems going on. At this rate, I should probably start a betting pool for if "Bad State"!Owen has ever dropped a warship on someone before since... yeah. I'm not quite convinced that I've seen this movie before, but it's definitely giving off some familiar vibes.

“Owen,” Zena said, right beside him. He didn’t even realize she had been there. “Breathe.”

Owen choked on his breath, clutching at his chest. It felt like his ribs were splitting apart.

“You’ve got this, Owen,” Star said. “In and out. Breathe easy. Theeere you go…”

Breathe, breathe… Meditate. Rhys always asked that. Rhys—!

So... this is going to be the chapter where everything (or at least a lot of things) just comes flooding back for Owen, huh?

He sat next to Gahi. He sank halfway into the sand pit, muttering something. Owen laughed and said, “Just do it, we can fight later!” And then he closed his eyes.

They sat at the table. Rhys gave Owen a little smile. He had his favorite dish today. Gahi groaned, wanting something meatier.

Owen had Rhys’ neck in his giant claws—the memory abruptly stopped.

Owen: "... I'm sorry, but what was going on with that last memory there?!"
:uhhh:

Star: "That's probably something you want to worry about after your meditation when you're not on the verge of an emotional breakdown." ^^;

“Owen, stay with me, c’mon,” Star said softly. By now, everybody was staring at them. Owen didn’t know; his eyes were shut tight.

“Owen, I’m going to put a small block on your memory, okay? I won’t erase anything. I’m just going to stop them from coming for a little while.

:absus:


Okay, first off, even if this is believable at face value, why on earth should anyone be convinced that this is a proper way of handling things given how Owen's had to get "reset" twice in as many days at this point?

Owen didn’t say anything. He was burning.

He walked through Kilo Village with a spring in his step. As a Charmeleon, he’d surely be accepted into the Hearts!

There was a frightened little Spinarak with a few injured legs. He offered an Oran Berry. The wild thing ate it, spat a String Shot in his face, and fled. Owen shouted something about being ungrateful.

Oh, so Owen's concern about ferals does come from somewhere. Though that makes me wonder what on earth he was up to with them back then.

Owen felt the warm embrace of a fellow Charmander. They were both crying silently. He didn’t want to let go.

Oh, hello, Deca. I'll need to double-check how Owen was described reacting to that moment where Deca hugged him at the end of SE1, but this definitely sounds familiar, and if it's not that moment, it's one that that moment intentionally evoked.

“Owen? Owen, are you okay?” Star said.

It felt like there was still a lot more missing. He didn’t know how much was gone—but a lot still was. But the flood was frozen in place. Ready to topple over him at any second, yet halted for now. Owen breathed slowly.

“Star,” he finally said. Feeling slightly more secure with what he had, and what he didn’t yet have to deal with, he asked, “What’s wrong with me?”

Owen: "Since... uh... I'm really obviously not okay right now."
:grohno~2:


The Mew nodded and pat his shoulder. She floated to his height—a little, pink puff that tried her best to comfort him with words. “A lot, Owen, a lot,” she said, “but you’re going to be okay, alright? You have me. You have everyone else. We’re here for you.”

Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi were all staring, confused. “What’s going on?” Demitri asked. “What’s Owen talking about? Is he… Is that Orb driving him crazy?”

Wait, I just realized, but when did those three enter the scene again? Like I get that Owen was probably not in a super observant state of mind when he was having his memory recall moment, but it might make sense to more explicitly note "oh, the rest of Team Alloy is here now, were they always there?" somewhere in the narration before namedropping them like that.

“C-can it do that?” Mispy asked. She was hiding her leaf behind her head; it was getting a total sensory overload at the pulsing flare Owen’s aura gave off. His panic made it an inferno; her ability to sense auras was shot like she was hit by three Flash attacks all at once.

Waaaait, but if this is written in a third person limited perspective, how does Owen know this again? I think I'm going to chalk this one up to Early Installment Weirdness, since some of the past couple chapters have moments like these that feel very "omniscient narrator" when I could've sworn that wasn't HoC's narrative style.

“Oy, Owen,” Gahi said.

Owen gulped and opened his eyes. “G-Gahi?”

“Y’alright?” he asked.

“I—” Owen stopped. He felt… grounded, hearing Gahi speak to him. “I’m okay… I think I’m okay.”

Narrator:
Image


He looked at Zena next, and the pain in his chest slowly subsided.

Star sighed, feeling Owen’s aura calm down. It was still flaming—but it was at least no longer like staring at the sun.

Wait, can other Pokémon wind up in a state like that in this setting? Or is that meant to be a hint that deeper power lurks under the surface of Charmander Resetti here? Since when your life energy is explicitly mentioned as being overwhelming for others sensing it in close proximity to you...

“Owen?” Zena spoke up again.

“H-hi, Zena,” Owen said. He realized that everybody was staring at him; he lowered his head in shame. “I—I’m sorry. I… I’m making a huge scene over nothing…”

“It’s not nothing,” Zena said. The Milotic could relate. No breakdown was over nothing. There was always a reason—and it felt like this was over something much deeper than a bit of stress. “Star, why don’t we make lunch for him?”

Owen: "Wait. So... you're actually going to tell me what's going on with me? Just like that?"
:bulbuhhh:


“I want to make lunch for Owen, too!” Willow said.

“There is a fresh collection of underground berries,” Valle said, “located in hallway E after a left, right, left, and left turn. They will serve Owen well.”

“Okay. We’ll all take a break for lunch,” Star said.

“Guardians do not require food,” ADAM said.

[ ]

“Then—train if you like, but take a break if you want,” Star growled. “Owen, want to head to, uh, Rhys’ place? We’ll whip up something nice.”

I think that it might have been a bit funnier to show Star giving a glare or something at ADAM before speaking up to accentuate the mood a bit, but that's just me.

Owen’s mind was still racing, but perhaps now it was at a jog rather than a sprint. He was making connections about his blurry past and what he already knew. With Star putting a block on the remaining memories that were hidden away, he could work with that manageable portion without being overwhelmed by the rest.

So on a scale of "1 to XB3 Moebius-style Psychotic Breakdown", just how badly would getting the full memory dump in one setting have gone anyways?

He was definitely a Charmeleon during his fight with Azu. But then, something happened. He remembered… an intense heat. And a pressure in his chest. The heat he felt before when he had evolved the first time. And he felt that heat many, many times before. He became a Charmeleon countless times—he evolved, over and over, and then forgot, becoming a Charmander again. It was always Rhys—or… or Amia. They were the ones who somehow brought him back to normal.

Normal. Normal from what?

A psychotic superpowered evil mode? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I've encountered that in fiction before, and it would be very on-brand with how everyone's so terrified about that "Bad State" that apparently lies past your first evolution.

Owen thought about his strange dreams. He thought they were just fantasies about being a Charizard, but… no. There was no way they were fantasies. That happened. He was a Charizard before. And Gahi was a Flygon—and Demitri, a Haxorus, and Mispy, a Meganium. They all were, before. But something happened… what happened? He couldn’t remember. That was still locked away. Those times with Team Alloy, fully evolved, felt like incredibly early memories. How far back did it go? How long ago was that? How many evolution cycles? Was there anything before that?

I mean, I can think of some downright apocalyptic possibilities depending on how far down the rabbit hole this Takahashi samebrain goes. But it'll probably be something different, so I'll wait for the story to get there later to confirm one way or another.

“Owen!” Gahi shouted.

“Wh—buh—huh?” Owen said, jolting awake.

“Arceus in the Sky, we’ve been calling yeh ten times!”

“You look lost in thought again,” Demitri said. “Are—are you sure you’re okay?”

Owen: "Uh... probably not, but let's not get into that right now."
:copyka2:


“I’m… I don’t think I’m okay,” Owen said. “My head’s spinning with all these memories… and you were all in them, too,” he said. “Gahi, do you ever remember—”

“Ah, ah, ah! Owen! Not yet,” Star said.

“H-huh?”

“Not yet. Please,” Star said carefully.

Gahi: "... Star? What is he goin' on about right now?"
:what:

Star: "... Nothing you need to worry about at the moment." ^^;

Owen gulped but nodded. “O-okay…” She had a point. There was no telling what would happen if Gahi had the same sort of panic that he did.

I mean, we could just... find out, just saying.

Like a punch in the gut, Owen realized that the reason everyone was keeping him ignorant was because Star, or perhaps Rhys or Amia, had told them what would happen if he got his memories back. And then, against their wishes, he pried too far, and the memories came spilling back. And now, everything hurt.

Owen stared at his claws while they waited for lunch. He focused, turning his scales green, and then orange, and then green again. He was getting better at that.

The previous Grass Guardian, Klent… Owen sighed. What was that look he gave him? It wasn’t the first time. Still, there was something bothering him. He looked to the right, where Klent was sitting at the table, though he requested Star not make anything for him—he didn’t need to eat, after all. He didn’t want to take up resources if he didn’t have to.

Oh, so Owen has/had some sort of connection to Klent in the past. Or at least I think that's the implication there.

“Klent?” Owen said. His heart skipped a beat.

“Yes, Owen?” Klent said. He was speaking respectfully, but Owen could still sense a coldness in his voice. Owen was starting to wonder why, connecting more and more of his fragmented memories together. He couldn’t complete the full picture. He was filling in the blanks with speculation. The more he inferred and guessed, the smaller the gaps felt.

Owen couldn’t remember anything beyond evolving into a Charizard. He didn’t even know if that’s what actually happened. What if he became… something else? The strange auras, the lack of ancestry. A clean history. No history. His strange dreams. His instinct for battle—his abnormal need to fight.

Almost like you were built for that purpose, huh? Though to what end is apparently a story for another day.

That look. Klent’s eyes. Those eyes.

“Klent,” Owen finally said. “How did you die?”

Oh. Oh. I mean, that would definitely explain a thing or two about how a convenient Grass Guardian vacancy opened up for Owen and that weird bitterness Klent had about his death.
:copyka2:


Star fumbled by the stove, dropping the berries in too fast. The hot water splashed through her smoky body. The Mew cursed under her breath, turning back.

Klent looked away. He looked at Star, instead. The Mew shook her see-through head frantically, but Klent shook his head back. It was too late. Owen’s memories couldn’t be sealed away anymore. He was a Guardian—that trick wasn’t going to work as easily, or perhaps at all. He was going to find out eventually. Just as the memories of Rhys and the other Hunters couldn’t be sealed—a Guardian was just as immune to that kind of influence.

Owen: "I... uh... I killed you, didn't I?"
:ohnowen:


The Jumpluff nodded at the Charmander. “I’m sorry, Owen,” Klent said. “But… I think I know what you’re thinking. And… you’re right.”

The world stood still.

Owen didn’t want to ask. But his mouth moved on its own. “M-meaning?”

Klent: "Owen, you literally just asked me this five seconds ago."
:eltywtf:

Owen: "One: that wasn't canon. Two: I really did not need to know that, okay?!"
:grohno~2:


Demitri, Mispy, and Gahi all exchanged dumbfounded looks. What was going on? Where was Owen getting all these crazy ideas from? And, more importantly—why was everybody else playing along? They always felt like everyone else knew something they didn’t. They were quite eager to have Owen tell them the answer.

Klent sighed as if bracing for it as well. “I’m sorry, but… it’s true. You’re right.”

“Th-that the way you died… I…” “You killed me,” the former Guardian said, “and my daughter.”

Star: "Oh for crying out loud, Klent. You couldn't have pretended you had a sudden stomachache or something?"
:mewtwofacepalm:

Klent: "Star, I'm a spirit." Star: "That didn't mean you just had to go and blurt that out loud!" Owen:
200w.gif

Star: "... Yeah, I'm not going to even begin to try sorting this out right now. Let's just go on to that recap of this thing." >_>;

Well that was certainly quite the ending note there. Though with the utter dread that the rest of the cast was having towards Owen's "bad state" over the past two chapters, I suppose I should be a lot less surprised that he'd have a body count to his name. It does make me wonder just how hard and fast these awful truths are going to stack up, since just this scratch at the surface clearly sent Owen to some bad places, and I doubt that this is just going to get swept under the rug. IMO, the characterization is the main strong suit of this chapter, since it pretty effectively sells the vibe of Owen starting to spin apart after realizing that everything he took for granted wasn't true and everyone he ever knew and trusted was directly involved in trying to mislead him and the frustration that follows when they just flatly refuse to give an explanation for anything. There's also a number of subtle but big hints about the way things really are in this world and where things will be going on, with Star's casual passing mention that Mysticism is straight-up divine power being one of the bigger ones that caught my eye.

I'm not really sure if I have a whole lot to complain about in this chapter. There were the customary paragraphs where I didn't agree with the formatting, and a few sequences that felt a bit "talking heads" in delivery, but the chapter's events and character dynamics carried things well enough that it didn't really distract from things.

And that concludes this batch of prize reviews @Namohysip . Things definitely started getting lit over these past three chapters, and while I'm not really sure when I'll cross paths next with this story, the stuff that went down in this one portends for a wild ride next time.
 
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