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Hoenn around
  1. aggron
  2. lairon
Who on earth designed this rickety contraption?

… Oh, right. We did.
:mewlulz: omg Acacia

When Gen took us on visits to the human world,
Had to do a double take here for a quick second. *Different* Gen. And gosh, I really hope this comes into play later that such a significant character in the PMD world shares a name with our protagonist :eyes:

"'e're here!" came a loud voice, as Carkoal rolled in from the lead carriage.
I don't know why but I assumed Carkoal *was* the train (or at least the engine pulling the carriages), not the one driving the train. What a funny realization in the best possible way. In my head I had a comedic "wait, then who's driving this thing??" scene flash through my mind.

"... I know you were Mew before, but I still don't understand you, Leviene,"
Wait. Wait wait wait. *Pokemon* can be brought into the PMD world and turned into different pokemon?? So, Leviene wasn't a human before they came to the PMD world??? Wild. Also can I say I love these little one-line, offhand reveals of information that is casual to the characters but are kind of a big deal to the reader? I love that kind of stuff.

Overcast Village was where my sister Sturece lived with her mate Arbstea and Saltriv, their child.
!! Oh they're related to Saltriv's family! Also another instance of a character using a pokemon's given name vs their species name. I remember finding it really interesting in an earlier chapter where certain characters didn't like having their given name used and chose to introduce themselves as their species name. I still don't understand why one is preferred over the other in terms of PMD world social rules, but it's an interesting thing to notice all the same.

My eyes widened. "Really? I thought you said you weren't going to let them have another one for at least a year after what happened last time." I trusted my sister's judgement, but this felt a bit too quick after Saltriv's last sleepover.
Oh dear, should this be as ominous (lighthearted) as it feels? Lol what kind of sleepover does one have to have to be barred from having sleepovers for the forseeable future? Saltriv, you *party animal* :LOL:

"Well...that's the thing," my sister said, looking at me with narrowed eyes. "He told us his name was Gen."
OH MAN HERE IT IS!! In the same chapter, even! Ah wonderful stuff, again that fun jumping-around nature of PMD fics lets you get right to the good stuff even when scenes are separated by time gaps. (Also wow, speaking of time gap, 35 years have passed since Acacia was a hero?! Does that mean they're an adult human now? Does time pass the same in the PMD world as it does in the human world??)

I'm also a big fan of the little bits of body language shared between the two Meganium here. It's very familiar feeling to things human siblings would do, but it's in the language of this specific grass type pokemon and it translates so well. Very cute, and I love that you've included it.

"For example, Ayueg was never sent back to the human world like the others."
Man, so many new things I'm learning about this world and its characters in this chapter. Is this a thing that's present in the PMD games canon, or is this specific to ES-verse? I love all the bits of info that get dropped like this. It's so intriguing and keeps me wanting to learn more.

"It's alright, Saltriv. Your mom already told me about it," I told them, moving my vine back and forth across their head. "Even if you shouldn't have gone off without equipment like that, I'm not mad. I'm proud of you for saving Flapple."
Ah, love to see supportive parental figures!! Even when Saltriv makes a mistake, there's understanding and positive affirmation that they've done good even if it wasn't by the book. This definitely feels like a stark contrast to the treatment Burhalla gets from his father...

"Though on that topic… what do you know about humans, Gen?"

Mini Gen looked down at the ground, frowning. "Nothing, really. Just that there's Pokemon pretending to be them."
GEN NO :copyka: Oh my gosh, this section hurt to read (in a good way). Gen just doubling down time after time after time on his lie, convinced that he can't let the truth out no matter what, and Acacia trying so hard to coax the truth out in a gentle way that could convince Gen that he wasn't going to be in trouble for lying or being human! Although in hindsight, Acacia never said as much, and Gen was already assuming the worst, and without actual communication I could absolutely see him panicking and clamming up even more. Oof, wow, this was tense in the best possible way.

It's so funny, too, reading Acacia's logic in trying to figure out what's going on, it feels like playing Mafia :mewlul: You work yourself in circles, unsure of things because nothing fits if everything you've seen is true, but then how do you spot the lie? Then things that are more unlikely start to seem likely and oh it's a whole mess! Boy, I wonder how this is going to play out in the end.

And yay, sleepover time! I love the use of the synchronized bag for things that aren't exploring or rescuing. It's so handy for fun things with friends, too! This was a nice chapter to stick between the promise of a sleepover and the sleepover happening. We get some tension, some information and worldbuilding, and a good back-and-forth in terms of some serious plot mixed with our protagonists having fun. It's good pacing, well done! Probably one of my favorite chapters of ES so far!


Hoenn around
  1. aggron
  2. lairon
A Chikorita with a red leaf, a Charmander with a pink scarf, and an Oshawott with a red hood all together. Saltriv, Burhalla, and…me. It took me a second to recognize that as myself.
Oh, I really like this as a way for Gen to show unease about his Oshawott form. I know there's been moments where he's uncomfortable with his anatomy being different than his human self, and missing his home, but for some reason this simple line here hit home the most.

I'm also glad to see that this moment of uncertainty is followed up by joy and excitement. Despite everything, Gen has new friends and he's happy to spend time with them.

Ahaha, what a roller coaster of a section! I'm actually really happy you circled back around to Gen's unease at being away from home in a body that's not his own. Friends! Oh, the picture of us shows me as an Oshawott, and that's not how I want to see myself. But there's cookies! Oh, they taste different because I'm a pokemon and not a human. Probably one of my favorite sequences in the fic for how much it toyed with my emotions as a reader. Great stuff.

It really was good, just…not what I was hoping for.
Why do I feel like this is a great summary of Gen's experiences being in the PMD world? He's got new friends, but it's not quite what he was hoping for, stuck in the body of an Oshawott.

Blankets of many different colors were draped around five stools positioned around our beds, covering them from almost all sides. There was a small opening between two orange blankets in the front, from which I could see pillows of a similar range of colors as the blankets all around the inside, as well as our beds.
Oh gosh this feels so comfy and warm and fun. I love this description.

Aaand the roller coaster continues! 😂 Poor Gen worried he's ruining the sleepover because he can't use Water Gun. I like that Saltriv and Burhalla were supportive and were flexible with their games. I can't help but laugh that they ended up on charades, a thing Gen is doing every minute of the day. The worry about One Night Ultimate Human made me giggle, first because of the game's name, but also the mafia-brain that Gen needed to think Burhalla was suggesting the game because his lie had been discovered. It's tough to keep up the charade (see what I did there :wink) all the time, Gen, and not be stressed.

And lol oh no, Lidequir's jokes and Gen's anxiety are not a good mix! I feel bad for Gen, but I can't help but be amused at all of the amazing coincidences in terms of things characters have said and done around Gen for him to think he's been busted. Poor guy.

Man, speaking of roller coasters, there was so many ups and downs I just kept reading and forgot to pull out line quotes. Just know that I was fully engrossed in this chapter, and it's some of your strongest writing thus far. The constant tug-of-war that Gen has with himself over his situation. There's good, but then it reminds him of the bad, the worry, but then he remembers he's not alone, but he's also far from home, his real home. Lidequir's questions, affirmation of friends, different tasting food, fun games, being reminded he's not in his regular body, The Lie (that darned lie). I'm in agreement though, I can't believe it's only been two days since all this happened to Gen. It certainly feels like a lot longer; so much has happened!

And then. AND THEN. That ENDING! Haha oh my goodness, of all the twists 😂 Let Gen Catch a Break 2023 (challenge: impossible). Well, more things are certainly going to happen, and it's only day three! Great chapter, wonderful work.


Hoenn around
  1. aggron
  2. lairon
"Gen, hurry up and save the world already!"
Oh man what an opening sequence. I love that this quote morphs from something so innocent to something so mysterious! This is a fantastic line.

I ignored the sound of fabric ripping and tearing, continuing to hack away at the blankets. I managed to tear a hole in the blankets big enough for me, and before I even saw what laid beyond, I leapt through
Did... Did Gen just cut a hole THROUGH a mystery dungeon?? Holy smokes that's wild! I didn't think it'd be possible to break out of a mystery dungeon, though I guess not many of them are made of blankets. I feel like there's a joke to be made here about Gen breaking the *fabric* of reality.

Wait…garbled, flashing lines of light…no, no it couldn't be! M-MissingNo was supposed to be an urban legend! There were just two major Johtonese legendaries, not some phantom third one like the cheap tabloids in the grocery store sometimes claimed! MissingNo wasn't real!
WHOA, I did not expect to see MissingNo in this fic AT ALL. On some level it makes total sense, Gen is clipping out of bounds into some place he shouldn't be, some place the world doesn't support. But on the other hand, I feel like it's still pretty crazy bonkers that MissingNo is being acknowledged at all! I'm curious if this will be a one-off experience, going OOB and encountering glitch pokemon, or if this is kind of a little easter egg to traumatize poor Gen further.

Ooh I love the little bit of Saltriv's mom wanting to go into the dungeon to save everyone. Her having been in a dungeon before (is this common for 'mon in the PMD World, like a rite of passage of some kind?) but it also having been a long time ago. That's still so wild that a mystery dungeon can pop up in such a localized spot like that and be so contained that other occupants of the house would never notice unless they came to check.

We're in a blanket fort right now. How bad could it be as a Mystery Dungeon?
Famous last words :copyka:

I grabbed one of the orans, and thrust it at Gen. He hesitated a few moments before eating it. His trembling began to subside.

"Thanks, Burhalla," Gen said, before hugging me again, tightly.

Huh? What the-? How was Gen hugging me? He shouldn't have enough energy for that while Cursed.

… Was he lying to me?
Huh, this section struck me as odd. Burhalla healed Gen with an Oran, but then was surprised when Gen had the strength to give him a hug back. Is "Cursed" a status in PMD that is different than being hit with Curse in the mainline games? (which just reduces your HP like a normal attack). This bit implies something weird happened with the whole MissingNo thing, which Burhalla wouldn't know about, but to be surprised that Gen can hug him after a terrifying experience and think that Gen might have lied about it feels a bit like an overreaction on Burhalla's part. Adrenaline is an amazing thing that lets people do all sorts of things when they're scared! A minor gripe, though, and one that might just be me being unfamiliar with PMD mechanics.

"Nobody knows exactly what dungeon Pokemon are. There's usually just the normal Hostiles and Dociles, but then there's stuff like that really aggressive Krokorok in Blistering Shore, and there was even one found a few months back that was like you and me, even if he couldn't talk, and he joined the team who found him!" Burhalla said. "He's an Oshawott, just like you, and they found him with a Treecko that was also like him. Almost as if the two were made to be partners with one another. I heard they're living in Moonlight Town now, helping Jolteon with dungeon research."
Whoa, more mystery dungeon lore? And another Oshawott? What are the chances? I'm curious if this is referencing any characters we've seen, or is this another instance of human-turned-starter falling into the PMD world? It's funny, I always thought humans coming into the PMD world was a super rare occurrance, but now I'm learning it's not so rare after all!

All I could see was my mom's Flaafy getting hurt.

I tried to tell myself that this wasn't them. This was just a wild Pokemon, not a Pokemon I've known for most of my life.

But the mental image wouldn't go away—
Oh man, this one hurt. The callback to the start of the chapter with Gen's dream, his memories. This is a really great way to tie in his pain and sorrow of missing his home with his current predicament. Really well done.

Wait, Fury Cutter? But isn't Fury Cutter a bug-type move? But Oshawott are water-type Pokémon, since when did they learn Fury Cutter?

… I guess I knew a lot less about Oshawotts than I thought.

Though…if water-type moves needed calm to happen, what sort of emotion did bug-type moves need?
Oh, more interesting lore with all type moves maybe needing an emotion for a pokemon to use them. I really like this way of framing how pokemon use moves vs just being inherently good at them because they're whatever type. Also interesting that Gen keeps learning off-type moves. I wonder if this is because calm is the last emotion Gen will be capable of in such a stressful situation, or if it's something else different about him in his current form?

Rescue! And oh no we're back on the roller coaster again, the Bewear attack :unquag: I wonder if there's rhyme or reason for the hostile pokemon they encounter in the dungeon. Like Acacia and Lidequir are high level, experienced explorers, and even this Bewear was a lot for them. Is it possible for Burhalla and Gen to have run into the Bewear, too?? Oh gosh. And then Saltriv's shadow move and them running away afterward, my heart 😭

And then the Eevee Dynamax, whoa! I wonder why a docile pokemon would rush into the dynamax light and start attacking, only to go right back to being calm afterward?? Something fishy is going on... Probably related to that stranger from an earlier chapter who said they were working for Eternatus or something?? I haven't forgotten! There's certainly a bigger mystery afoot than *just* shadow pokemon or surprise mystery dungeons. Great stuff.
Chapter 15: The Monster


Rescue Team Member
Pokemon Paradise
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
Chapter 15: The Monster

Overcast Village Forest


As we exited the Illusory Grotto, I couldn't help but worry about Gen. He looked really shaken up from being in a copy of the blanket fort mystery dungeon. More than usual, anyways. I started to turn and check up on him, when I caught a glimpse of something yellow and blue in the distance. That must be the monster!

"We're almost there!" I called out, and began to run towards the monster as fast as I could!

"Saltriv! Wait up!" Gen protested, as I heard his hurried footsteps.

I slowed my pace, but kept running. We couldn't let the monster escape with Dreepy! I watched the greenery rush by, only to stop as I heard my best friend shout.

"Saltriv! We could be going into a fight! We need to be prepared," Burhallla said.

"But the monster is right there! We can't let it get away!" I said, gesturing towards it with my leaf.

"It'll get away if we're not prepared," Burhalla said. "Come back, let's get ready."

I trotted back towards Burhalla. He dug around a bit in his bag and pulled out a Max Ether. He dumped its contents into his hands, taking a small amount for himself, before offering the rest to me.

As I ate my portion of the Max Ether, I focused on the wonder I felt at seeing a real Illusory Grotto, and felt my Grass energy be restored. I felt refreshed, energized, and ready to take down the monster!

"Let's go!" I said, hurrying forth further into the woods, towards the monster. Out of the corner of my vision, I saw Gen stumbling as he tried to keep up. I made sure to slow down for him.

I hoped he was ok. He hasn't stopped trembling since we saw that Hydreigon. What had terrified him so much, even more than his experiences in the blanket fort?

I hoped he knew we were here for him. We were his friends, we're here to help him!

No matter what!

As we walked forth towards the monster, I saw it twitch, and heard a voice. Was it…talking?

I saw a glimpse of something green and red flickering over the monster for a brief moment, translucent at one end. That must be Dreepy!

They looked…normal, though. Calm. Not afraid.

Wasn't the monster scary, though? Why would Dreepy be so calm near it?

We were almost there, though. I supposed one way or another, we were about to find out.

We continued through the forest, approaching the monster, and soon, I could make out what it and Dreepy were saying.

"Are you sure this'll make them believe you?" Dreepy asked.

"We don't have any other choice! Just look at us!" an unknown voice retorted. Was that the monster?

What was happening? They were just…talking! Wasn't the monster something that attacked on sight?

I tried to approach, before I felt something furry tugging on my side. I looked over, and saw Gen holding onto me. He was visibly quivering, and his face looked almost as worried as it did back when we entered the Illusory Grotto.

"I…I don't think we should get too close," he said. "What if it's too strong for us?"

"But we need to rescue Dreepy!" I protested, before hearing a startled yelp. I looked over towards Dreepy and the monster, and they…they were looking straight at us!

I felt Gen's trembling get worse, and I laid a vine on him, as Dreepy began floating towards us. Yet the monster stayed still?

"Team Searchlights? What are you doing here?" Dreepy asked, flippers held together.

"We…we were looking for you," Gen said. "We…thought you were in danger."

Dreepy wiggled their tailtip as they looked down.

"Oh, I'm not…I was just…exploring! Yeah, I was explori—" Dreepy said, before being cut off.

"Don't lie to us."

Burhalla stepped forward and scowled over at Dreepy with narrowed eyes. "Clearly something is up."

"What, uh, what do you mean? Nothing's wrong!" Dreepy said, smiling sheepishly.

"We saw you talking with the monster. What is going on here?" I asked.

"Uh, nothing important!" Dreepy said, frantically waving their flippers. "Really! It's nothing you should worry about!"

Burhalla glared at Dreepy, stomping closer to them. "Tell us the truth. Now."

"Really! It's noth—" Dreepy began, but they never finished their explanation before I felt the blistering cold of a Powder Snow freeze my scales. I looked over behind Dreepy, and felt my heart skip a beat. The monster was right there and approaching us!

"It's coming!" Gen said, eyes wide.

"Hold fast! We can maybe take it down!" Burhalla said, flicking his tail.

I held steadfast, launching an Ancient Power at the monster. It was enough to make the monster flinch! "We can do this!" I cheered.

"Hey, woah, woah!" Dreepy said, waving their flippers around as they held up their tail. "It's okay! You don't need to—!"

It snarled, before charging at Gen, electricity crackling around it! It looked like it was about to attack! So why was Dreepy so hesitant about us attacking it if it's clearly hostile?

But before it did…its own tail smacked it in the head, and the electricity dissipated. What was that about?!

"Hey, calm down!" Dreepy called out…towards the monster?

Just what was going on? Dreepy didn't seem scared of the monster at all!

The monster screeched, and electricity thundered around it, interspersed with hail. My leaf draped onto my back, that hail would be a problem for me…I flinched with each pellet of ice that crashed into me. I couldn't keep fighting long in this weather.

So the monster was Ice and Electric-type. That…wasn't good. Burhalla was the only one of us who could hit it hard with his fire, while the rest of us were weak to its attacks.

Dreepy too, for that matter…but whose side were they on? They were just hovering around the monster, seemingly trying to calm them down.

Burhalla spat an Ember at it, and I swung my leaf, an Ancient Power crashing onto the monster. It tried to bring its arms up, but the attacks hit true, and it stumbled backwards.

The monster reared back, and charged for Gen again, who was frozen with his eyes wide with fright. There was no time to cut the monster off, and so I did the one thing that reflexively came to mind:

"Gen! Look out!" I shouted.

He frantically tugged at the scalchop on his chest and pulled it free as the monster stomped over, electricity gathering around his beak. He finally got it free just as the monster came upon him and swung it wide with a pale green glow...

That looked like a bug-type move of some sort! When did he learn that?!

Before he could attack, though, the monster lunged for him, its beak crackling with electricity. Gen screamed as it rammed into his head, and he crumpled to the ground, twitching.

Dreepy gasped, and cried out, "Stop!" but I didn't care. I needed to help Gen!

After Burhalla blew an Ember at the monster, it stumbled backwards away from Gen. An opening!

"Gen!" I yelled, running over as I dug into my bag, pulling out a tiny reviver seed and pushing it into his mouth. His eyes widened briefly, but it did the trick, as he stood back up.

"Wh-What was that?" he whimpered, clutching onto his reunion cape. "It really hurt…"

"Looked like a Bolt Beak," I said, laying my leaf on him, trying to suppress my panic. Maybe we shouldn't have brought him along for this…he's been through so much already, and now he just…

"Guys, need some help here!" Burhalla called, and I ran towards his voice.

He was breathing fire at the monster, but it didn't seem to be affecting it much anymore. Electricity was crackling around it…was it Charging?

It let out a screech, and it seemed like it was going to attack with a Discharge…but then it glanced at Dreepy, and it went for a Thunder Shock on Burhalla instead.

What was going on with these two?

Burhalla yelped, stumbling backwards as the monster lumbered towards him. I ran towards him to help, but then something none of us were expecting happened.

It stepped back, and spoke, "Go. Away."

Me, Burhalla, and Gen all stopped and stared at it. It…talked. So…was it a Pokemon like us? Not a monster?

"Did…you just talk?" Burhalla asked, tail lashing.

"Yes, we—" it began, before its tail rose up, and smacked its beak. "Hey, watch it!"

My leaf drooped, and I tilted my head. What was this creature?

Dreepy sighed, tail lowering. "I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore…"

Gen clutched onto his reunion cape, and I tensed up.

"Er…they're—" Dreepy began, raising a flipper, before the monster interrupted.

"We're both human, and Dreepy is our partner," they declared.

Me, Burhalla, and Gen all stared in shock. They were human?! How?! Really?! Why didn't they say anything before?!

"What do you mean, you're human?!" Gen exclaimed. Though why was his tail wagging?

"Wait, 'both'?!" Burhalla asked, crossing his arms.

"You're their partner?!" I added, looking at Dreepy as my leaf swung around.

"Well…you see…" Dreepy began. They nervously flicked their tail and looked more like they'd rather be in the Voidlands than here.

"Do you have ears?" the monster said, eyes narrowing. "We're human, Dreepy is our partner, and we're here to save the world."

Burhalla's eyes narrowed in turn. I didn't blame him. Pokemon claiming to be human were much more common than Pokemon who actually were human.

But this was a Pokemon none of us had ever seen before, who looked almost like they were stitched together from two others. And they kept saying "we"...

Something was definitely up with this Pokemon.

"...do you have a name?" Gen asked, taking a step towards them. My eyes widened, and I expected him to be swatted away.

But before I could dash in to help, the monster said, "Arctozolt."

Burhalla shook his head. "No. You're lying."

The creature…no, Arctozolt, stomped towards Burhalla. "What?"

"You're lying. Just like all the other Pokemon who pretended to be human!" my best friend snarled, tail flame blazing.

Gen's eyes were wide with terror, and he was trembling. Must be the first time he's seen Burhalla this mad. "B-Burhalla…" he stammered.

Burhalla looked back at Gen and his expression softened a bit.

"Get up, 'Arctozolt'. We'll take you into town, for the nearest World-Saver to sort you out," he huffed. "They'll make it clear for everyone to see that your story's all an act like all the others."

I trotted over towards Burhalla, and pressed up against him in an attempt to comfort him. Today's been rough for all of us, and it's only just begun.

"Why, you—" Arctozolt began, before Dreepy rushed in between them and Burhalla.

"Hey, hey, calm down, please! We'll do as you say!" Dreepy said, fins pressed together.

"...fine," Arctozolt said, seeming to relax slightly. "Lead the way."


Overcast Village


This was a huge waste of time, you thought as you saw the forest give way to buildings.

Are you daft? I was just doing what you were saying! I responded as I walked through the town, trying to ignore the stares you saw.

Whatever. We're finally not living in the wilderness anymore.

I still don't know why you were so insistent on not being seen until we found a partner.

It's what the giant pink hand said we had to do to save the world. And I don't know about people like you who abuse Pokemon, but I actually want to help Pokemon.

Team Yell doesn't abuse Pokemon!

Yes, you do! Not only by participating in Pokemon battles, but I've seen the stunts you pull on TV, with sabotaging gym battles so your precious Marnie can win.

Pokemon like battling, you bloody Plasma!

Do they like being forced into it and being exploited for mindless entertainment?

I raised my tail, and smacked you in the snout again.

Would you stop doing that?!

Not until you—

"Why do you keep doing that?"

You looked down, seeing the Oshawott staring at us. We were in the middle of town now, and you saw all sorts of Pokemon staring at us, including our partner.

I wonder what was going through Dreepy's mind. They've been silent the whole walk, fins pressed together.

"What?" you asked the Oshawott, ignoring me.

"Uh, hitting yourself with your tail. Why do you, um, keep doing that?" the Oshawott asked.

See what you've done? You thought.

Just tell him and get it over with.

You sighed, and told him, "Look, we're…actually two people. I control our upper half, and she controls our lower half. And we hate each other."

The Oshawott shuddered. A few seconds later, he asked, "Is…it uncomfortable?"

"...yes, very."

Before we could react, the Oshawott had attempted to hug one of our flippers. Eugh, no! I raised our tail to swat him away—


Why not?

First of all, that's cruel. Second of all, that'll ruin any goodwill we have. Third of all, do you have ANY empathy?

…fine, I thought, and lowered our tail.

"Gen, are you sure that's a good idea?" the Chikorita asked, tilting their head.

"Yeah, it did just attack us," the Charmander said, frowning. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"...ok," the Oshawott, Gen, said, and let go. Finally.

Wonder who they're taking us to.


Overcast Village


I tapped my talons against the ground impatiently, as I looked around the Treeside Plaza. Acacia had told me about a newbie team's excursion to investigate the monster, and I was just waiting on Leviene to get back with supplies so we could go and make sure they were alright.

Just as I was about to go off to make sure Leviene wasn't getting harassed by fans, I noticed some figures approaching from the fog. A Charmander, a Chikorita, an Oshawott, a Dreepy…and…

The monster?

Did they actually do it?

As the quartet approached me, Pokemon started to gather. I couldn't blame them, the monster with them was weird.

The Charmander stomped up to me, tail lashing. "We found the monster. They're claiming they're human, but I'm pretty sure they're lying. They say they're two people? Which makes it even more impossible that they're human."


Of course even a freakish abomination would claim to have been human. Why not? Why couldn't my job ever be easy?

I sighed, and pulled out The Book. The Book that contained passages from various human world books in every human language we could find.

I wasn't counting on things panning out, but if it did…then it meant we'd finally found the next human.

…or humans, I suppose. I still didn't fully understand how they could be two humans with only one head between them, but those questions could wait until we find out if the 2467th time is the charm. First, I should see if they're human at all.

"Let's get this over with," I said. I opened the book, and began to flip page after page, showing each to the chimera.

As I flipped to the pages with the passages in Unovan and Galarish, the chimera's tail began to swing, and they spoke.

"The left page is from On the Gray Road: Seeking Truth and Ideals, and the big blue idiot stuck to me says that the right page is from The Hero of Sword and Shield."

I was so shocked, The Book dropped from my wings. My eyes were wide, and my beak was agape.

It was true.

We finally found the next human.

My feathers were fluffed up in excitement and relief. Finally, we didn't have to worry so much anymore! They're finally here!

I took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of my lungs, "THE NEXT HUMAN HAS BEEN FOUND! SOON, THEY'LL SAVE THE WORLD!"

Cheers erupted from every Pokemon around. Finally, we could see the light at the end of this tunnel.

Though, for some reason, the Oshawott with the reunion cape seemed…terrified.

I wondered why.


Overcast Village


I didn't know what to do.

At first, I was relieved that I wasn't alone here. That there were other humans here who had no idea why they were here.

But now I learned why we were here.

Humans are brought here to save the world.

Was…I brought here to save this world?

No, no, no! That couldn't be true!

I couldn't be a hero! I couldn't! I couldn't!

Everywhere around the plaza, I saw Pokemon cheering, happy, relieved. Saltriv's tail was wagging a mile a minute. I tried to force a smile to fit in, but I just couldn't.

"I can't believe it! That 'Arctozolt' Pokémon really are the next human! And we found them!" Saltriv said, voice full of joy that felt like a stab to my heart.

"Yeah, me neither…really thought they were lying, but I guess not," Burhalla said, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin.

I was doomed.

"Gen, what's wrong? Shouldn't you be happy?" he asked. "We found the next human! The world's going to be saved soon!"

Oh no. He must have noticed I was unhappy.

Quick, think of an excuse!

"Sorry… it's just… really, really loud," I said.

It was technically true, and the noise was overwhelming, too, especially with my sensitive new ears.

Burhalla tilted his head, and put a hand on my shoulder. "Are things too loud?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "It's too much for me…I just want to get away from it all until it calms down…"

Saltriv stepped closer, and hugged me with their vines. "That's ok! This human- er… humans, aren't going anywhere fast. We can go somewhere else for a while."

"Yeah!" Burhalla said, flame blazing brightly as he began walking. "I have just the place in mind, too!"

"Wh-what is it?" I asked, as me and Saltriv followed after him.

Burhalla turned back towards me, grinning. "Eternal Meadow! It's just the sort of place that would help you unwind from everything!"
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Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 3 (1/9?)
Blitz review

The color text helps so much with distinguishing whose who.. Thanks for thinking of it.

These two are going to kill each other. Love how one member of unova is suddenly responsible for the 'mon attacking them. Yep being born on that patch of dirt made me totally responsible for the natural evolutionary processes that made these critters.

Saved by the stairs. Considering thier main attacks an electric type with locomotion issues... Running is definitly smart.

Followed by not so smartly running into an ambush. I'm sharing yellow texts opinion... The berry wasnt worth it.
Now theyve lost an easy escape route (well orb) and thier suspect... And are going to crash hello into the more chill pg crew ny the sounds of things.

Poor bru' nd crew...

Salt' s like "wait wait do you know breathing, air, how to drink?"

Bur': patiently trying to explain while heading off his partners incredious commentary and keep everyone alive.

Love how our p.o.v. mon is like, alernate universe, school, school in an alternate universe? And thats what raises thier freka out. The missing persons just skips over thier head.

And hello is countered by a tackle in return. Guessing this is a shadow or feral mon. While brownie points for trying oshwalts aren't water benders i guess... Or magical girls...

Poor gen you'd think the rest of his party would habe realized he couldnt fight yet... This is going to make the treck out exciting.

Personally i'm guessing a pikipek but who knows.

And we get to thr "run like heck we are underleveled" aspect of the dungeon. Why is everything aiming for mel's head. I vote he gets a helmet between the bite and the pecking...

I wonder if leon was one of the grousers from before?

Well at least bru's willing to stick with helping after its done. I guess mon would find that reasurance seeking a bit odd but as a human mel's got a few good points in the paranoia stat.

Wonder if we'll be able to see mel's journal... Also this intros what writing system the mon use verses how mels human writing is going to be interpreted.

Fun things to look forward to going forward.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 4
Review blitz

Hm no prequil adjacent piece... Perhaps the cast are closing the distance between them and the other party then?

And we are out. Yay sunlight, fresh air and social problems.

I mean experiencing town...

Well at least salts got a happy moment i suspect burhalla is about ready to get his tail chewed.

Love how the porygon z glitch nature translates as a mild stammer, and tonal discordance.

Four... Wonderful tjis is ominous. So much so that the ususally open and caring mon comunity is shuttered off from tjose from that background.

I think gens lie might of saved his bacon. Itll ruin things later if he blabs, but now its holding his head above hostile water.

What did those other 4 wind up doing anyway?

Well at least gens got a place for the nightt. Hes going to have to get pernament shelter but for now yay for couch surfing?

Salt appears to be king of the noodle incidents. .gotta wonder what went so bad last sleep over that he jas his parent checking in...

And so gen is stuck wrangling all the fun "what if, and whys". He's gunna have a nightmare fanangling his lies without any sleep. As for the realnworld of golden rod its nice to see time not stand still ala Narnia and that there is a building fall out on his home front.

How long until hes declaired a missing persons in r.l. i wonder and if there arent four other people also missing too.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 5
Blitz review

Hm looks like our pov is glitcjing witj nods towards the sun moon pokedex?

With a slice of horror at merged pokemon... Ung that sounds creepy with a slice of zombie body horror.

From the perspective swap we get bur... Who is in so much trouble. And dad tries to cool down but flips out because thats like boarding a plan without knowing where the parachutes are at.

And now we need the other two heas to head out. Burs papa is enforcing game canon rules that is goong to go well.

Wow that "your safe" euphoria lasted one convo.. Two convos? And we jave domestic issues.

Lying abouy moms death... Pretty messed up. I dont think they arent going to stop fighting until burs dad says sorry. But the man/mons not inclined to so...

And back to salt... And he's gunna be our chronicaller. I wish gen all the luck in juggling his stpry because its goimg to be recorded.

Hm wonder if the shatter is the worlds meetomg and people crossing over. It would be ironic if gen was the human who saved salt in the dream.

Im sure itnwould thrill salt to save leon next. I kinda hope thats how it pans out considering salts such a sweet kid too...

Though with the human as mon hostility a "i saw a human" probably wont go down well either.


And dodging. Saved by the news i guess?

Is our ?? Area a step in the future? A side au? I think my paste to read this dropped some data enroute... But theres a lot of new faces i guess.

Guessing though tjis is where all the human mon coagulated.

And it looks like polys dream was real? Oh boy thats not good.

And necro beimg here. Mr light devourer alolan appocolypse definitly another does of not good.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 6
Blitz review

We are back to wrangling dungeons with different p.o.vs...

The what type of mon makes me think these shadow mons are mingling in feral dungeon territory now. As for what the p.o.v is... Well thats an interesting tidbit isnt it?

That last line (about the shop and brothet) as well the description of shadow moves makes me think this is leon and he's infected with shadow aura status...

Salt: hey goood morning. How the pulse? Great great... I got questions!

Gen who has been up for two seconds: oh god....

I dont blame salts folk but despite salt being laid back i can see this causing drama and tenstion later down the line.

Now as a long time rule... Bender i would say that "i will" can be applied as a clause of "i will stay safe. Stay togethrr. And totally go outside bounds as plot demands". Salt doesnt seem the type to go that route but Gen (an adult working at the game corner) might be more flexable.

Gen: Walks by a "doom gloom werefranken mon attacking a neighbor convo" the adults noticing its kids imediatly change topic.

Nice to see that traits multidimensional... Love how it skips right over salts little leady head.

Love how bur and salt are like "we need to go do something and need a trio" and Gens right there... I mean i get why, no moves or all but its still a funny subversion of many pokemon mystery fics.

So now this all begs the question. How is Gen going to manage to pay dojo fees much less basic shelter needs since he's got no money.
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Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 7
Blitz review

So you have a open spoiler tag dangling on the bottom of the text...

Poor gen is probably getting the worst crash course in battle ever.

Love how the sensi is like "concentrate" at full yell... Very drill sargent. Huh assurance sounds pretty surprisingly. As i never pick the water starter i've got no clue either.

It makes sense though considering he keeps getting smacked and assurance doubles attack if you gget hit first. Gens sub con is filing a complaint via his moveset.

Salt: so how'd training go?
Gen: i got one move mastered... Please tell me none of you know bite or feint attack?
Salt: aren't you a water type?
Gen:... Yes... But water gun is hard.

It went gentler then i expected but still if the dungeon they go into is swarming with dark types they are so up the river. Love how salts like "lets go" and bur (probably inspired by a looong lecture from his dad) is like "wait, rules, protocals, SUPPLIES."

And Gens like, "eh what could.go wrong?"

sounds like magma sand... Shame gens not actually magma or geologically inclined he might recognize the ground.
Perpetual sunny day. Bur and salt will be fine but gen is going to suffer so much. I was expecting either hot springs or magma runs to be honest not pernament sunny day.

This whole trip is going to be a loong tutorial for gen huh? Hope bur packed extra sanity.

And rhats feral mon huh? Literally willing to bite a head off... I wonder if theres more mon in the dungeon or a group that precceded spotlight for it to be in a freshly bloody state.

In which gen snuggles the reunion cape. Taps his heels three times... And does not get back to golden rod... Wait he didnt pick a person... Well i guess enjoy the new clothes?

And in panic he got his water attack off.. And then goes beyond overbaord... Wait, gen, bur's a charmander you don't water anything with a charmander.

Poor traumatized salt.

Burs definitly proving thier good guy status. It takes a lot to forgive someone who almost killed you much less immediatly.

The scuffles continue. Looks like salts got some shadow capabilities, shadow half, how can they tell? Poor salts got a identoty crisis in the cards as i doubt shadow mon are widly accepted or loved. I suspect thier entrapment in the dungeon left a mark.

Poor bur, more wordly and aware than salt, is freaking out. Gens too new to confisde in and salts rolling with it semi-cheerily and unlikely to be able to unpack...

I suspect all three of them will be making an apointment with teh good doctor.

And i figured salts trting to stuff the freak out down. He's going to be a dark sparkles show at this rate. And poor flapple, trying to fight from within. I vote to gently pin him, smack him with a tot seed, and use that spare escape orb to get everyone out.

Or we could do a bigger fight. Well thwy made it out. The walk back is going to be interesting.


Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Chapter 8
Blitz review

You know i'm surprised they arent rolling poor flapple... I mean he's kinda a ball...

Wonder what the lost two purifying methods are. The fact that everyones being hush hush is very ominous.

Wonder of gens infected too. Hes hearing voices amd flapple was acting like he was hearing things too...

I like how gen kinda knows his dex but not all of them. It helps that he takes time to puzzle out the type (and helps me who doesnt have the dexs memorized too).

Ok so even odds salt and gen are going to get some extra scrutiny here. Lets see how the priest encounter goes? Ohh zombie mons. I'd be tucking my limbs close and not breathing too deep personally.

Very rise of venus, tapus' appearence.

I suspect flapples gunna be water boarded. I suspect salt is going to be apllying a resrtaining vine on gen soon.

Glad bur didnt take too much damage amd wondering how cojerent flapple is now. Since theyre carrying him? I think? Hes probably out of it.

So they have one method... I wonder if the other tapus run the others. Its fit the count at least...

Hello flapple going into denial is something i didnt expect.

Aw pory is so happy to see flapple he blabs out sensitive information... Its weird but cute. Also i wonder if that joy will help nudge pory in its own shadow issues.

And salt is so busted.

At least even if he did foot and mouthed it gens got a house now? Maybe? Or not. Thanks salt's mom...

And salts dad is like "when i said a "little adventure" i meant a walk around town..."

Salt having night terrors and igneoing it probably isnt safe considering they use shadow moves when stressed gen. And now gens got his own stresses... Yeesh.

So our yellow and blue voices are... Luring mon to be shadowified... But i thought they were from other regions?

Makes confused noises.

So yellow text is immobile? And had an electric attack? Oh if they returned as a nosepas thats gotta be one of the top ten worst mon to come into a mystery dungeon as. Right up there with metapod, and a few other concoon/imobile mon.

What type of karma you gotta get to come back as one of those...

Unless.. Theyre that merged monstrosity from earlier... I'm starting to think thats accurate. And theyre hunting team spotlight... This is going to go so bad for everyone.
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you should've known the price of evil
  1. inkay-shirlee
  2. houndoom-elliot
  3. yamask-joanna
  4. shuppet
  5. deerling-andre
Hey there! I decided to catch up with this story for the Blitz. I read chapters 11-15, and here are my thoughts.

The small Pokemon in the near-front carriage were probably doing fine. Those cubbyholes along the walls were padded and came in enough different sizes that any small Pokemon could fit snugly in one. The jostling wouldn't affect them much while resting in those.

The large Pokemon in the back three carriages were probably doing well, too. The three carriages in the back of the train were like entire houses, large enough to hold a Copperajah comfortably. Anyone large enough to need to ride in one of those carriages would probably barely feel the near-constant bumps.

That just left us medium sized Pokemon, in the constantly shaking middle carriages.
I like that the train accommodates differently sized Pokémon. I like the whole section describing the train, really.

"Ayueg? Leviene? How about you?" I asked the Combusken and Bayleef standing across from us. "What do you think of the train?"
I appreciate that the species of the World-Savers get reiterated because I struggle to remember them all. It's probably partially due to the fact that the diversity in their personalities hasn't shown itself yet, save for Lidequir, who is the joke guy (nongendered).

Even 35 years on from when Lidequir and I first became heroes, I still get overwhelmed under pressure easily.
35 years and still a wartortle? ermm skill issue

Before I could get far, though, I heard a small squeak, and craned my neck to look back down at the little Oshawott. He was trembling, and was holding tightly onto his reunion cape. I could see some moisture on the fur around his eyes. Oh no, was I being too pushy with him? Was he feeling bad for not being able to read or answer any of that?
I'm honestly impressed that Gen managed to keep himself together to such an extent that he did not appear at all suspicious. It even feels a little out of character, but I imagine that you still need his human-ness to stay secret for a while, so I understand the need for it.

"It's no problem! It's our duty to help!" I replied, wrapping a vine around him to return the hug. We hugged each other for about half a minute, before I spoke up again.
Does Pokémon society have a stronger tendency for hugs than ours? Hugging someone you've just met for 30 seconds sounds like a lot.

Ohers, like one with 18 different colored pieces with different symbols on them, were completely foreign to me.
I know the 18 is here to suggest types, but it's a bit odd for Gen to have counted them so quickly with such accuracy. Also, there seems to be a typo in the first word.

Actually, now that I think about it, it wasn't just the chocolate that tasted off. The berries I'd been eating tasted a bit different from what I remembered how they should taste like. But why? They looked just like the ones that I remembered!
Thissss seems a little retconny. I feel like it should have been addressed before this moment (tbh it may have been, I only skimmed the prior chapters for recap before this review) because as it stands it feels like it was a narrative decision only made at this point.

"Yep! There's plenty of others we can still do!" Saltriv said, waving their leaf. "How about charades?"

"I'd be down for that! I love charades!" Burhalla said, his tail flame burning brightly as he looked towards Saltriv before turning back to me with an insistent smile. "What do you think? You ok with that, Gen?"

Not quite prepared for the sudden question, I stumbled over my words. This was the charades I was thinking of, right? I wasn't about to join a game that was really something completely different, was I?

"I, uh—"

Before I could get a chance to fully answer, he said, "Oh, right. I should explain what it is. It's a game where you pretend to be something, and everyone else has to guess what that something is! It's really fun!"

I already knew what charades were. I'd even played it a couple times with my family. But I appreciated Burhalla's thoughtfulness nonetheless, guess he really wasn't upset about not being able to play Quick Moves.
Alright, so here Gen is asked if he wants to play charades. He then worries that it means something different than he thinks. He gets explained what charades are. He thinks "I already know what charades is, but thanks", which seems a bit off to me. It sounds like he was only given information that was already known to him, but he wasn't - he was given the information that charades is what he thinks it is. To me, it would have made more sense for him to go "oh, so it is what I thought of, good to know" instead.

I forgot to quote it, but I think "charades" was also written with a capital later on in the chapter, which differs from how it's lowercase here.

I laid down and rested my head against my pillow,
*lay. Laid is the past tense of the verb lay, which is to put something down gently or carefully, whereas lay is the past tense of the word lie, which means to lie down.

Blanket Fort, 6 Hours Later
they only slept for 6 hours?

I walked over to his spot, but... wasn't here either.
Missing a "he"?

Berry crackers!

This was a mystery dungeon.
yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo blanketfortmysterydungeonnnnnnn

My mother's Flaafy baaed,
Flaaffy has two Fs in the middle. The one-middle-F spelling persists through the rest of the chapter.

"Um, h-hi…" I said, gripping tightly onto my reunion cape. In response, a deep magenta aura surrounded the Shuppet, then the aura erupted from the ground around me.

The aura surrounded me—


It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts!

So much pain. It was like every centimeter of my body felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand knives! I whimpered, trembling as I tried to back away from the Shuppet.

W-Was this...what some moves could feel like? What did that Shuppet just do to me?! I looked back towards the Ghost-type and felt my blood run cold. The Shuppet was still there, worse, it was floating closer.
This is a nice and tense scene, even rather surprising given how this story hasn't been that dark so far.

As soon as I tumbled out through the tear in the fabric, the pain began fading, and I could focus again. Immediately, my eyes widened in surprise, and I yelped, as I realized that there was no ground beneath my feet.

I was falling through a rainbow void, just like the place that platform was on. The one I woke up on before I became an Oshawott.

There was no platform this time, though. All that was there was the abyss I was falling in, the colors racing past me as I plummeted. I probably ought to have been screaming, but somehow, I was too wrapped up with the colors of the void.
I really love that you can literally go out of bounds of the dungeon and end up in a rainbow void where you encounter glitches.

"HELP!" I shouted into the void. But nobody came. MissingNo only screeched a garbled noise in response.

I clutched tighter onto my reunion cape. Was this it for me? Would I never see my family again, and be subjected to whatever fate Missingno wanted?
The capitalization of MissingNo/Missingno changes at this point and seems to stick to that change for the rest of the chapter. A bit later on, it also keeps changing whether "mystery dungeon" is capitalized.

"Nobody knows exactly what dungeon Pokemon are. There's usually just the normal Hostiles and Dociles, but then there's stuff like that really aggressive Krokorok in Blistering Shore, and there was even one found a few months back that was like you and me, even if he couldn't talk, and he joined the team who found him!" Burhalla said. "He's an Oshawott, just like you, and they found him with a Treecko that was also like him. Almost as if the two were made to be partners with one another. I heard they're living in Moonlight Town now, helping Jolteon with dungeon research."
yooo i just started reading quenched torch recently so this is a reference i get!

The Oshawott shuddered. A few seconds later, he asked, "Is…it uncomfortable?"

"...yes, very."

Before we could react, the Oshawott had attempted to hug one of our flippers. Eugh, no! I raised our tail to swat him away—
I really get it. If a stranger tried to hug me with no warning, I'd want to smack them away too.


Something I kinda noticed while reading is that there seems to be a lot of narration explaining the POV characters' emotions and thought processes. In some places, this is useful as they talk about things we would not otherwise know or intuit, but in places it is kind of redundant, which halts the experience of the narrative.

I really liked the blanket fort mystery dungeon segment! It makes me realize that I have had a lot of "that's a fantastic concept" reactions while reading this story.

I found it kind of weird and irresponsible of the adults to let Team Searchlights confront the "monster" on their own. I think I was also expecting something more climactic to happen with Arctozolt with the way they'd been kind of set up as the villain, but I guess the real villain is someone else. If there even is a villain, and the main antagonist of the story isn't distortion or shadow energy itself. It's valid not to have a villain!

I think that's all my thoughts for this time. Don't take my more critical feedback as a sign of me not liking this story - I really do enjoy reading it! It just seems to me that the pace is on the slower side so far and there haven't really been any crazy twists to react to yet. And that's fine! As far as I understand, the story's still only beginning. There's time for things to escalate.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to DM me on Discord. Or reply here, either works. Until next time!


Multiversal Extraordinaire
Stranded In The Gaps between Multiverses
  1. froslass
  2. zorua-gojira
  3. salandit-shiny
Hello! Hello, Bench! Hope you're having a fantastic day, week, month and year! Here's a smol little review from yours truly!

Chapter 4:

After catching up a bit with the previous chapters since it's been... I think two years, I'm now finally here to review... after like a few months since I've first read it.

Anyway, ignoring my little ramble, I enjoyed this chapter. The little intrigue and mysteries scattered about we're all things that held my interest, one thing that stood out in particular are the noises that Gen seemingly hears, I remember that later chapters will have him comment about it to other people but I'm not sure I remember what their reactions were beyond just 'I heard nothing'. Anywho, one theory I have is that he's somehow connected to perhaps Palkia as he hears a crack upon leaving the first Mystery Dungeon, although since Dynamax is in this story, it wouldn't really surprise me if Eternatus was the cause as I think his in-game lore states that he came from a different dimension (not really sure so I'm putting that hand on hold)? Then he also hears voices which in assuming has something to with Shadow mons so he's probably gonna be a key to defeating whoever is behind this Shadowfication.

Okie dokie. With that rant out of the way, let's see about the actual story.

So Gen, Saltriv and Buthalla make it out of the dungeon and are met by three sudden figures, a mom, a dad not related to the mom, and a robotic duck.

Two contrasting conversations appear between the two children. Saltriv's reunion with their mom is kinda just glossed over since we're in Gen's POV but I do kinda wish we get a bit more mention of it by making it more teary-eyed and hugs and kisses or something. I think that having just a brief mention of that happening makes their reunion have a bit more impact.

Burhalla's conversation with his dad nicely display the worry and fear behind the stern and angry father. Nice to see that Burhalla doesn't just get away with doing dangerous stunts without repercussions even if said stunt did save someone.

Then we have the confrontation of Gen and his slowly building pile of lies, I'm both dreading and excited for when his lies get exposed. It is also pretty interesting to see that there are Pokemon that lie about being human and in that sense, it makes sense that would happen, as all the humans that are known (barring one) are saviours and heroes in their specific region so lying and getting all the attention is a surefire way to getting a reputation (either bad or good).

And the final scene with Gen's coworker. It's nice that we get to see what happens in the world Gen was taken out of. It's rare to see an isekai fic where the MC's home gets seen and mentioned for more than a couple sentences. And it seems like this coworker might or might not appear later on due to him picking up the Aura(?) Bow.

Chapter 5:

Okay so this chapter starts off with PNS's POV and I just wanna say how cool a robot/ai's perspective is, especially with his different their thought process and just the general way their mind works. Like how the Porygon-Z's little stutter doesn't just stop as a verbal tic but rather it's because its processing unit is stuttering.

Anyway, so we start off with his pov and we see that he's feeling a little depressed and he stops by distracting himself with facts and such (which is again, cool to see) and then he notices the Arctozolt. The description provided definitely brings out the fear and how unnatural a Pokémon like Arctozolt is to the average Joe. Then he gets attacked though I do find it a bit weird how he wasn't on guard upon sensing the Zolt's hostility or presence. I mean if I saw some weird mishmash monster just stalking about, looking all aggressive and like, and I have a weapon (aka moves), I'd probably try and fight back before running when I see that it did no damage (unless that is what happens). But eh, it's just my own opinion, the scene's pretty fine itself though.

After that, we transition to Burhalla and his dad arguing. We get to see why Burhalla has massive trust issues and sheesh, is his family a mess. I feel so sorry for Valorch for having to deal with this practically every week and doubly so when she's probably not old enough to really understand why (so is she the younger or older sibling in this family? I'm assuming younger mostly because Burhalla's more assertive). So anyway, back to the older... younger... Fire-type.. sibling... Charmander... The idea that your father hiding your mother's death is frankly disturbing and Burhalla is definitely right for calling him out and being mad at him for doing so, and because of that one lie, he now absolutely despises anyone who dares to lie which is both troubling and bad in a sense since sometimes lies are good in certain circumstances and I feel like his ideals would probably change and grow as the story goes on.

And finally to the final scene where we get the whole game squad discussing about lé new human. I always enjoy seeing the game MCs interacting with each other so this was a nice treat to see. Now, let's get to the elephant in the room, or Dewott in this case.

Gen the Dewott and Gen the Oshawott. I'm very sure their species and names are mostly just a coincidence since they don't feel like they have much in common. The Dewott doesn't seem as anxious and scared as OshaGen does, so he's not the future version of OshaGen. Yup, I'm calling it now. They have nothing to do with each other and the both of them having the same names and species are some sort of red herring.

Also Necrozma. I wonder who this mysterious POV is and how they and Necrozma will play into this. I'm gonna say the mysterious pov is a Poipole since it's a small Pokémon that can hide themselves pretty well, and also Ultra Beast.

Chapter 6:

Alright, first scene. By simple analysis, I can deduce that this is that Kecky or whoever that missing Kecleon brother was.

So, a shadow mon's pov. It's interesting to see that they're still very much aware of themselves while under the influence of shadow...y... And that they're mostly running on primal insticts in anger and fear, no longer capable of feeling anything but those two.

And then we see the formation of Team Searchlights! A lovely name that if I was given the chance to name them would undoubtedly be something edgy or cringe like Team... Purify or Shadow or something my inner 13-year-old wants.

We also get to see more of Gen's fear of being alone. And I want to see that you certainly nail how afraid he is of losing the two people he could call friends and I love how he's able to work up the courage and determination to join the team.

Chapter 7:

Okay, so first things first. Emotion-channeling moves. Absolutely cool as all heck. Using emotions to channel attacks or modify them are always such a cool concept regardless of how many times I see them in media. And here, I can see that Dark-types are channeled using negative emotions or specifically with frustration and Water-types are presumably with calm and peace. So how does one channel Ghost-types? With killing intent? Numbness?

Anyway, chapter 7 shows a lot. Like compared to the previous six, I'd say it's about half as much as all of them combined. The unknown rampaging Krokorok, Dynamax, Saltriv still having Shadow moves and them fighting and saving Flapple. Look, I know it's probably not the case, but honestly it feels like a little too much. Compared to the previous few dungeoning, there are a ton more that happens in each floor than it did to.

Look, it's not a bad thing if you're speeding up the pace but it does feel a little jarring to have so much happening back to back without a break especially when the previous chapters were pretty slow and calm.

Like perhaps cut out the Krokorok bit and put it down in a later chapter? Since that scene doesn't seem to have much effect on them currently.

Anyway, aside from that small gripe, I'd say everything else was pretty good. Gen telling Burhalla about his anxiety issues and how Burhalla shows concern and worry is pretty cute and I like that he isn't too harsh on the poor otter even if he did almost die.

The Krokorok scene was interesting, makes me wonder whether non-dungeon Pokémon are the only ones being Shadowed and then the Dynamax was fun. Definitely shows off how great and dangerous suddenly having all that power is like.

Then comes the Saltriv scene where we see that there are Shadowy remnants left on them and that they can still use Shadow moves. It's interesting to note that since moves utilize one's mental state and emotions, could a Shadow who is amazing at suppressing emotions blend in and hide amongst others? Since with the little bit we see with Saltriv, it looks like you can suppress your Shadow moves if you're good at suprressing your emotions.

And finally we come to the Flapple scene where a 1v3 fight begins. I can definitely feel the strength and power coming from a Shadow mon as well as how dangerous they can be to the average. Strange how Flapple doesn't go for the purification route if there is already a way to do so (but if my memory serves me right, there is a reason why they don't do so.)

Chapter 8:

So, the purification scene. And oh boy was it terrifying. I absolutely adore eldritch legendaries and you my good sir, have done a splendid job at making Tapu Fini feel like a being above mere mortals with how it punishes any who isn't polite with eternal and aware petrification and just how eerie its dwelling is.

We also got a lot of worldbuilding it this chapter. Knowing a bit about primary names, mystery dungeons and whatnot. I also like the little Gen introspection when he goes to bed, him just wondering whether anyone would miss or notice him is something that I feel like very few isekai stories focus on. It's good to see that he hasn't completely abandoned his old life after the first few days.

Then the final scene with the two Frankenstein humans. Always a joy seeing a pov that is different from the rest of the main cast. Once again, their interaction is a delight and how their personalities clash against each other makes seeing the two of them being forced to working together even better. It is a bit weird that Yellow Unovan's plan to request help is to ambush people when they're alone but I assume there's a perfectly good explanation for that.

Anyway, time for line-by-line comments:

“We’re out!” exclaimed Burhalla, as I heard something shatter.
Something shattered? Hmm, I'm assuming that's just because they left the Mystery Dungeon and left that rift in reality or something.
As we climbed the hill, I started to hear unfamiliar voices, though I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. I slowed my pace a bit. I looked towards the other two, and they didn’t seem to notice them. Was I just hearing things?
Unfamiliar voices... I wonder whether that has anything to do with the shadow Pokémon he didn't save. 'cause it feels like that's some sort of Isekai protag's ability where they can sense evil or something.

Or maybe he's just hearing the voices of some legendary trying to reach him?
“Berry crackers. I’ve been found out,” I heard him mumble under his breath.
Cheese and crackers! Holy guacamole! Strawberry sprinkled cupcakes! You're bloody dead, Burhalla!
I remember learning that Porygon-Zs were unstable. Was that still true in this world?
On that note, how the hell does a Porygon work in this world? In the mainline games, they were created by humans using code and stuff so how does a Porygon, let alone a Porygon2 and Porygon-Z, exist in a world where modern technology doesn't exist? How do they evolve? How do they work? Are they organic? Inorganic? Something in between like a Steel-type? Or are they just simply magical?
“You are telling me the truth, right?” he questioned, turning to me, a look of suspicion on his face. “You’re not another Pokemon doing that for attention?”

“I’m not,” I hastily responded. It was true for one of his questions, at least.
Technically, you are telling the truth on both accounts. You're not a Pokémon lying about being human nor are you doing it for attention.
This lie couldn’t end well.
Then just stop. The more you lie and the longer you lie, the worse things will get once the inevitable truth comes out. God, I am both dreading and excited for the angst and betrayal when that happens.
“Welcome to Overcast Village!” Burhalla announced to me.

Overcast Village
It didn’t
I know it's just for consistency's sake but to me, it feels so out-of-place and unnatural to have Burhalla welcoming Gen into the village then immediately having the village's name thrown into my face when I literally just read what its name was.

Again, it's probably just a me problem but I feel like at this particular instance, you can forgo the location name drop since you've already introduced it in the prior paragraph.
Burhalla turned towards me with an apologetic expression, and before I could protest, he disappeared into the fog.
Damn, crime must be fricking frequent out here with how easy it is to blend into the fog.
“There’s been a lot of disappearances since you’ve been gone. You’ve probably already noticed the Kecleon brothers,” Meganium responded, a twinge of worry noticeable in her voice. “Did Burhalla already tell you about that?”
Intriguing to see that. Did the cases increase after Saltriv's disappearance of was it already doing so in a gradual pace? And are the disappearances limited or focused on Overcast Village or is it happening everywhere in the world?
All the Pokemon that lived here were quadrupedal, and I didn’t know if chairs even existed in this world.
Better hope they do exist, Gen. 'cause you can only sit on the hard blasted floor for so long before your butt gets numb
Speaking of mystery dungeons, those also didn’t make any sense at all. Something like that happening naturally was an impossibility with the laws of physics as I remembered them.
You live in a world where there are psychic creatures, ghost and beings that can control the fabric of space and time. A Mystery Dungeon should be well in the middle of things that are weird in a Pokémon, right above Electivire having the ability to generate electricity enough to power a city and below any big and heavy Flying-types that are still capable of flight
“You’re back down to level 2,” I told him, as I doled out the cards, making sure to lay out the right amount of multipliers and Voltorbs. After I wrote down the multiplier and voltorb sums at the side of each row, I announced, “Begin!”
The second 'voltorb' isn't capitalised.
I walked down the street from the game corner, past a telephone pole adorned with a poster of a familiar visage.

I stopped, doing a double take. Yep, that was Gen alright, or at least a picture of him. And on a missing poster, too.

Well, this sucked.
Damn, that was fast. And here I thought missing person's cases couldn't be sent until after the first 24 hours.

Chapter 5:

It looked like someone had taken half an Arctoar and half a Ruzolt and stitched them together in the worst way they could.
And here comes the reaction to the Frankenstein mishmash that is Artozolt. Gotta say, it's pretty interesting to see that there are actual species of Arto and Zolt in this world and I wonder whether or not we'll see them in the future.
The top half almost looked parasitic, like a Poisonous Slowking or a Parasect, as if it was a stem that had grown out of the corpse of an Arctoar
So exactly how do these 'parasitic' mons work? Are they zombies? Mind-controlled by the mushrooms/Shellder? Are they capable of independent thoughts? Or are their every senses taken from their parasites? I know it's probably not relevant to the story but it's fun to think about these things
There’s the catch. This will be a hassle whenever I form a search party like I wanted.
Hey, it's better than forking 90% of your income to a stingy guild master and their bird.
“Because he hasn’t lied to me like you do!” I shouted back.

“For your own benefit!”

“Lying to me about my mother isn’t for my benefit!”

“You wouldn’t have been able to handle learning about her death!”

“It would have been better than you keeping me in the dark about it for YEARS!”
Oof, now here's why Burhalla has trust issues (and daddy issues).

So on one hand, I'm kinda agreeing with his dad in that Burhalla would've probably been in a depressive state if this is how he reacts but on the other hand, his dad did do something that is absolutely messed up and keeping someone in the dark about one of their loved one's (let alone their mom's) death for years is just wrong.

Of course I don't really know what the motivations of why his dad hid such a secret from him, aside from maybe to keep him from mourning in grief and stuff, so I can't really say whether what he did could be justified in ways more than just keeping his child in the innocent light.
I was walking to Burhalla’s house, when suddenly, I felt something soft hit me, and I woke up in this strange place. The sky was all these different colors, and I was on this dark, glassy platform. In the center of it, there was something tall, with fur only on its head, and two arms ending with five fingers. It looked just like the humans of legends!

Can you believe it? A real human? And not even a former one!
You sure it isn't just a really weird looking flameless Infernape, Saltriv?
“No. Even if I didn’t remember writing this, neither part is written in my handwriting or pawwriting,” Gen answered. “I don’t understand. Who wrote this, and why did they use my name?”
So? So what if someone's using your name. It's not like there are literally thousands of Bob and Joe in the world. What makes your name so special that you think it has to be yours?
Time to bring the news to Necrozma.
Necrozma? Dun dun dun! So is the reason why mons go shadowy because of him? 'cause I can kinda see it since he eats light and stuff so maybe he 'ate' the shadowy mons' light or mind or soul or something.

Chapter 6:

I didn’t bother to check which kind of dungeon mon it was.
Wait, there are different kinds of dungeon Pokémon?
“Just my name, and a few other things,” I lied.

“Like what?” they asked.

“Types, berries, stuff like that.”

“Oh,” they said, disappointment permeating their voice, before they perked right back up. “Come on! Let’s go!”
Ah, vague answer as always. Bloody hell, why isn't anyone calling out how vague of an answer that is?
What if they started asking me questions?
Not like your answers are gonna be anything but vague. God, can't believe how he's getting away with such a vague as fuck answer.
“Oh, Tyrogue and Polteageist! They run the cafe in the Tree Plaza!” Saltriv said.
So... question. How do names work here? Saltriv has a name, Burhalla and his sister has a name, same with PNS. So why don't the others have a name? Or if they do, why don't we see them being introduced with their names? It's kinda weird that we have Saltriv the Chikorita and then just 'Mom' the Meganium.
“I was going to ask Aron and Rockruff if they’d like to join, too. If they don’t…I’ll think of something,” Burhalla explained.
Again, names. It's weird that Burhalla calls Saltriv by their name but not Rockruff and Aron, like are they just not important enough to warrant names or what?
Hopefully this wouldn’t be too dangerous.
Oh don't worry, Gen. If it's anything like the last few humans, you're just gonna take on a Godly legendary to save the world, that's all. It's a perfectly safe career choice with zero stress and pressure.

Chapter 7:
I had not been expecting this to be so harsh
Well, what were you expecting? A frolic in the flowers and bathing in the rainbows? You're a Pokémon learning to fight
My right arm darkened again. So it’s caused by frustration!
So if Assurance is pulled off by frustration. How does one pull off Frustration?
I didn’t quite know what the synchronised bags would do, but least we didn’t get denied.
Forgot 'at' between 'least' and 'but'
and a tiny reviver seed
So hear me out. If a normal reviver seed heals you to max, a reviser seed makes you laugh to death and a tiny reviver seed (I'm assuming) heals you to half. What would a Giant reviver seed do? Double your stats upon revival or spawn two of you?
All other types?” Gen asked, eyes wide. “All 17 of them?!”
Wait, seventeen? Do Fairy-types not exist? Admittedly I'm not that knowledgeable about the more recent PMD games but wasn't Xerneas in one of the newer ones? Is Xerneas not a Fairy-type in this world?
“Let’s all attack the same spot!” Saltriv suggested. “That might be enough to knock him out!”
Sorry if I'm being picky but with how small a Flapple is, I kinda doubt there is any one place they can attack that won't hit Flpple's entire body. Probably could reword it to attack at the same time or something.
The three of us and Flapple were enveloped in pillars of light, and we escaped from the dungeon.[/ISPOILER]
Uh... a random Spoiler alert?

Chapter 8:

"Purifying shadowy Pokemon returns them to normal. There used to be four ways of purifying shadowy Pokemon, but two of them have disappeared. There's only two left now," Burhalla answered with another shudder. "Neither are pleasant, but they're the only ways."
Not including whatever the heck Gen did~
Suddenly, I heard a voice in my head. You shouldn't think of prying into our affairs, hehehe. I know where you are.
Hm, weird voices... okay, me think Gen has schizophrenia
I saw one of them, a Misdreavus, blink.
Oooh, things just got spooky.
That Pokemon must be called Tapu Fini, then.
Kinda a redundant sentence here, to be honest.
"Even after the first time, purification is still terrifying," Burhalla said. "Being so close to water, even getting splashed by it, and the statues, and Tapu Fini themself… Is everyone alright after that?
Wait, 'after the first time'? He's done this more than once? What the hell is the story behind that?
"Back to your question, Mossy Town became a mystery dungeon while you were gone, and the method there disappeared," Drakloak continued.
Damn, a Mystery Dungeon took over an entire town? Now that just makes this works even more of a hellscape to live in if not even established settlements are safe.
"Right, you don't remember anything. That's a deposit box. Anything one Pokemon puts in can be taken out by only that Pokemon. For everyone else, only their things are inside."
So does it require eight of the second strongest blocks and an eye crafted from a magic tall person and an inhabitant of hell to make?
Know about what?
The great Poké war for pillows
We could have already found help if you had been more patient, but I agree. You thought.

We need to find someone who will listen to us. We need to find them while they're alone, and where they can't call for help.
That is undoubtedly the worst way you can put those words together. Like if I hadn't known better (and I probably don't), I'd assume you'd be trying to kill someone
Before too long, the Oshawott, Chikorita, and Charmander entered the building, leaving the Drakloak and Dreepy alone, and vulnerable. This could work.

Now's our chance! Let's get them!
Oh my god, that is not how you ask for help, yellow guy. You don't wait to ambush a mother and her child. The hell is wrong with ya?

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm gonna see if I'll have the time to review the rest of this later so see ya!


Multiversal Extraordinaire
Stranded In The Gaps between Multiverses
  1. froslass
  2. zorua-gojira
  3. salandit-shiny
Hello! Hello! I'm back with another little review! Hope you're doing splendid!

Chapter 9:

Alright, I'm back at it again! So before I get to it, gotta ask if the formatting's a bit broken this chapter? Since unlike the past chapters, there's been two spaces between each paragraphs. It's not really a huge problem, just a little odd. I'm guessing it's because you've copied it from Ao3's chapter uploader thingy? Since Ao3 has like auto space or whatever it's called.

Anyway, ignoring that, let's get to the chapter. So we start off with Leviene and Ayueg riding on a Lapras, I'm assuming they're the EoS duo, and arriving on land. It's cute seeing Ayeug comforting Leviene during the lightning storm and seeing more of that land and teams was also pretty nice. It's weird that ranks are in reverse in this region but I assume there's probably a good reason for that unless it's some form of authority corruption or something.

Then we get to the meeting and things start to get going as everyone splits up to do their own things. Plus, that little ending with Zarude presenting info about Eternatus. Very ominous and intriguing indeed.

After that, we see Saltriv trying to write things down but isn't feeling up to it. I like the way their trauma of using Shadow moves is written and how they try so hard to stay optimistic but those gosh darn intrusive gremlins keep attacking them.

Chapter 10:

A bit of a slow chapter. Not that slow is bad, taking a breather is good especially if it's downtime for heavier things later on.

So some progress is made over this chapter. Team Searchlights getting their equipment finally. Pretty cool that you wrote an explanation for a PMD game's magical bag, I really love seeing what different takes people have over the same thing.

Anywho, the scene between Burhlla and Gen. The lies grow deeper as well as their bond. It is gonna be really painful once Burhalla learns the truth. And also Gen's anxiety making him overlook so many simple explanations and outs everyone was giving him (AKA saying that his memories are slowly returning to him and such) and just how his anxiety makes him such a little bean.

And he's making progress on learning moves. So now we know that Normal is more about focus, Dark is frustration or negative emotions and Water is calm. I would've thought that Psychic would be the one that requires focus, it's a little interesting that Normal takes the spot instead.

Chapter 11:

Alright! So the chapter starts off on a train. Interesting to see that the ex-humans have been bringing their tech into this world. Methinks they should bring back recipes and other foodstuff back here just to diversify their friends' diet. Also learning that Dew-Gen can go back to the human world at will and can bring others is rather interesting. I'm not very sure if that's already in canon or just something you wrote down but absolutely love that the human world isn't ignored and is 'linked'. Like just the amount of possibilities that could happen makes me wish I could spare some time to write my own PMD fix but alas, I have like five projects put on hold because of my stubborn laziness.

Anyway, tangent aside. I rather enjoy this chapter and I always enjoy seeing the MC lie their way through and hiding beneath the other heroes' noses. However, I do have a few problems with the scene between Acacia and Gen. Mostly my suspension of disbelief. Because I find it pretty hard that Gen has pretty much effortlessly lied and not get suspected by Acacia of said lies. I think I would've enjoyed that scene a lot more, if you wrote down more tells or body language for Gen. Not too much that it's an obvious lie, but subtle enough that Acacia wouldn't suspect it. Things like a small flinch, stuttering, or straining to meet Acacia's eyes feel like it'd make it better and you can justify it as Gen being nervous around strangers and such. 'cause while I do see how he could manage a poker face what with his job at a casino, it doesn't make sense to me that he doesn't have any tells beside slight hesitation.

And I like to reiterate that I very much enjoyed the scene and the chapter in general, and you've written it pretty well. It's mostly just the little things that kinda brought me out of the immersion.

Chapter 12:

So the long awaited sleepover. Gen learns he has different taste buds and angst over it. I mean I would too if the food I've tasted before suddenly tasted nothing like I remember them. Also, never have I wanted to both hug and scream at a character so much. Like I want to both reassure the little otter and tell him things are going to be fine but I also want to grab him and shake him like the little plush-like Pokémon he is and tell him to just come clean and stop worrying about things. Reading his anxiety makes me feel so anxious for his poor little heart when the truth inevitably comes out and I just want to hop into his world and tell him to just tell the truth now.

And I absolutely love how supportive and caring both Saltriv and Burhalla are. They're patient and understanding of Gen's anxiety and their dynamic at him are just adorable.

So anyway, a pillow fort dungeon. Gotta say that is such an interesting concept. We've heard that mystery dungeons can appear over towns and such and now we get to experience hands-on what happens if someone was in a place that had been dungeon-fied. And I just love how dangerous and unnatural a mystery dungeon is that it can quite literally put you in one without wanting at anywhere and anytime. It's so cool!

Chapter 13:

Alright, blanket fort dungeon time! Gotta say I was not expecting missingNo to show up at all. If I'm not mistaken, I think this is my first time ever seeing MissingNo in written form. Cool to see how unnatural and horrific it is to the normal person. Gotta wonder what he represents if he's supposed to be a secret third Johto legend. Ho-Oh is heart, reincarnation and stuff. Lugia is about the soul, emotions and stuff. And MissingNo could be the metaphysical plane, overseer of the aura and soul and stuff.

Also, Curse angst. An appropriate effect for a aptly named Ghost-type move. To be honest, I've never really seen anyone writing Curse like but then again, I've seen anyone use Curse so it's cool to see just how dangerous Curse really is as it's damaging to not the user and the target and if said target gets hit by it, there is practically no way they could remove it without switching or moving on to a new floor.

And the Saltriv scene where they're emotional turmoil and accidentally hurts their family. It's nice to see that Acacia and their mom aren't too shocked or frightened by the sight of Saltriv using Shadow moves. Really shows how caring and nice the two are and nicely contradicts Saltriv's self-deprecating thoughts.

And lastly, the Gigantamax Eevee. I love the little giant ball of fluff accidentally murdering everything in its path while it's trying to play or make friends. Though I can't help but wonder whether we'll be seeing more of Dynamax in the later dungeons, since aside from what is basically the tutorial, we are two for two with someone Dynamaxing in

Chapter 14:

This was a fun chapter. Once again, Gen angst. Love it and makes me want to scream at Gen to tell the truth especially since Burhalla, the amazing Charmander he is, now decides to help Gen 'regain' his memories as one of his goals. Ah, the inevitable and ever-growing pain of the confrontation that'll happen will be absolutely heart-wrenching, I just know it!

So Illusory Grotto. I'm not entirely sure whether they're something new or something made up for this world but they're pretty interesting. The whole 'forming after a great loss' is such an interesting concept but I assume that's not entirely true since it didn't appear for Burhalla. I presume that it's less of a 'great loss' and more of multiple great losses as one appeared after Gen and the Arctozolt arrived. That and the countless Shadow Pokémon around, you can technically say that they lost something, ie: their emotions and whatnot. And these grottos are appearing due to that.

And also The Voice of Life. I'll be honest, I have no clue what or who that is other than perhaps it being some sort of deity. I know it's from the later games but I've never played them so I don't think I can really say anything about them other than, hey that's cool.

Chapter 15:

So just wanna say, since I've never commented on it before, I love the way Artozolt's Pov is like. The colored text makes it easy to know who is speaking, and the first and second perspective, while confusing at first, are so unique and really makes reading the two-in-one package a really great delight. Anyway, we learn a couple things about Arctozolt here. One that the Unovan is probably a member of Team Galactic and the Galarian a member of Team Yell. I think it's pretty funny to see two 'villains' play the roll of being the hero and I wonder how the story will play out now that Gen is basically thrown away to the side of this whole world-saving plot.

That said, I also absolutely adore Saltriv's and Burhalla's friendship with Gen. It's so cute seeing them being so kind and caring towards the anxious little guy. Really shows how great the two really are.

And anyway, Burhalla. I absolutely hate how he's acting whenever he suspects any of lying. Like I get it, you've been lied to by your father, the guy that you were supposed to trust. But every time he lashes out at someone for even a simple harmless lie makes me feel less symphathetic for him and more annoyed at how he's handling the situation. Methinks he should take his own advice and see the local village's shrink before his anger makes him lash out when he shouldn't.

Well, time for the line-by-line stuff:

Chapter 9:

“Go forwards until you hit a three-way split in the road. Turn around, then take the second road on the left. Make sure to walk on that road, not run yet. Once you reach a dead end, turn around and now run, until you pass by a road that goes downhill. Walk backwards down it. Once you feel the ground turn flat again, look up. If the constellation above is Cresselia, take the road to the left, otherwise, take the one to the right. Once you reach a dead end with a painting of Lunala, spin once, then walk forwards until you arrive in the plaza,” Gothitelle explained.
... uh, did any of you write that down? 'cause I got none of that
“A Combusken and a Bayleef...you’re Team Travelers, right?”
Oh, so our pov is a Combusken? Strange, those arms don't really look like wings to me but you do you, I guess
“Seriously, whose idea was it to give the best equipment to the worst search parties and the worst equipment to the best search parties? Anyways, while we appreciate the offer, we don’t need any more help than this orb,” Morgrem said.
That seems... inefficient. Like why would you give worse equipment to the better teams? Wouldn't it be better if they do it normally since you'd think the better teams would need better equipment for more dangerous missions.
Right here,” Morgrem said, before quietly chuckling. “I thought the legendary Team Travelers would be better with directions?”
Hey, they're called Team Travellers, not Team Map Charters.

When did writing get so difficult? I was doing fine with it yesterday! What happened? What made me lose my motiva—
Oh, I feel ya on that, Saltriv.

Chapter 10:

I've only known them for a very short time...but they've helped me so much already…

Yeah, I think we're friends.
Aw, thats cute
Oh. Right. Pokemon. Makes sense that they just eat raw stuff.
Really? Even after probably centuries of evolving and growing into civilizations. None of them care enough to learn how to make more than just simple meals? Or is it just local things? And that cooked foods, soup and whatever are only made by the elites in their society?
Wasn't that one of the weakest moves?
You say it like Water Gun doesn't have the same bass power as Tackle or Ember or Vine Whip or...
Oh. That's really not going to be helpful. It's probably only going to hurt Burhalla.
I'll say. At the very least, you're not a Ground-type learning Mud Sport.

Chapter 11:

Almost the whole train was made of eyedrop wood. The naturally gray planks glistened as sunlight shined on them. Even without any paint to accent them, the wood looked pretty, and it was even fireproof!
Eyedrop wood? Like Eyedrop Seeds? So are they see-through or something.
When Gen took us on visits to the human world, the trains we rode while there were super stable, but definitely weren't built with Meganiums in mind.
Woah, other Pokémon other than the ex-humans can go back to the human world? How does that work? Do the ex-humans turn back to humans or do they stay as Pokémon? Have any of them ever try to rediscover their previous lives? And can they speak to people or do they just sound like normal Pokémon to the humans there?
"Yep! For all the Pokemon with family or friends that went missing, and all the shadow Pokemon that had been purified," the other Meganium answered, gesturing the size of the cake with her vines. "She said it was the least she could do after all that we've been through.
Missing an ending quotation mark and I think it's probably better if you replaced 'that' with 'what'
No, that wouldn't make no sense.
... er, double negative here. Would probably be better if you remove the second 'no'
After all, Leviene didn't remember anything about being Mew, and it seemed like a more likely scenario than two humans sharing both a name and species.
I'm sorry but how is having two people with amnesia more likely than two humans having a somewhat common name and in bodies that are of the same line. You have two (not including Saltriv) teams that have the partner or human in the Meganium line!

Chapter 12:

Is… Is it because I'm an Oshawott now? Do things just taste different to Pokemon?
Different taste buds... welp, add that to the list of why Gen hates being a Pokémon.
Out of the corner of my vision I spotted something lavender. I didn't hesitate to walk over towards it. There on the ground, near the blanket wall, was a sleep seed.

Berry crackers!

This was a mystery dungeon.
Oh boy, a pillow fort dungeon!

Chapter 13:

…hopefully it really was just a dream, and not something like a vision of the future.
I mean barring the giant hand and randomly turning into an Oshawott, I'd say it would be great if it was a vision instead of just a normal dream. Having both worlds in one and not having to choose between is something so many isekaied characters would adore having
Wait…garbled, flashing lines of light…no, no it couldn't be! M-MissingNo was supposed to be an urban legend! There were just two major Johtonese legendaries, not some phantom third one like the cheap tabloids in the grocery store sometimes claimed! MissingNo wasn't real!
Holy crepes, MissingNo? I wasn't expecting ya to be here
Though…if water-type moves needed calm to happen, what sort of emotion did bug-type moves need?
Considering that both times you've used them were in a state of panic. I'd say either fear or panic... God, doesn't this mean that every Bug-type Pokémon is always in a constant state of fear or panic when they fight?
A human had to have come in reaction to all this, right?
Uh, I have no idea what this sentence is trying to say.

Chapter 14:

Our episode in the Mystery Dungeon must have really shaken him…I can't imagine what this would all be like for someone who barely had any memories.
Hm, accidentally capitalised 'Mystery dungeon'? None of the previous mentions of Mystery dungeons were capitalised so wonder whether this was a typo or not
Th-the monster…it took Dreepy! And I can't go look for them myself, I have to watch the shrine soon!" Drakloak shouted, shaking her head.
Oh that's just great. After a series of assault and harrassment, they've now jumped to kidnapping. Excellent.
Part of me was nervous about it, for Dreepy, and how we'd do fresh out of one Mystery Dungeon, especially when there was the monster involved.
And again, another capitalised 'Mystery dungeon'

And that should be it. I really enjoyed reading this fic and everything about it is just wonderful and fascinating. You've really done a swell job making an interesting story with every character feeling unique and lovely in a world that has both great intrigue and fun worldbuilding. Can't wait to see how the rest of it'll work out.

See ya later and I wish you luck in whatever you're doing!
Chapter 16: Eternal Meadow


Rescue Team Member
Pokemon Paradise
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
Chapter 16: Eternal Meadow

Carkol Express


Here we were, on the Carkol Express, in all its rickety glory. How long had it been since I was last on a train?

Pretty sure the last time was right when they were first introduced. What had it been… two years ago now?

Around the same time…mom died.

…now wasn't the time to think about that. My tailflame wasn't supposed to be dim right now. We were supposed to have fun! We were gonna have a picnic in Eternal Meadow!

And we even found the next human! Or… humans, I suppose. So everything would surely be ok now!

I looked over at Gen next to me, where he was clutching onto his reunion cape for dear life. I suppose I couldn't fault him, he probably didn't even remember what a train was, and the Carkol Express could be nerve-wracking the first time around.

I scooched over to him, and laid a hand on his shoulder. Maybe he'd feel a bit better if he knew someone was there at his side.

"Hey, don't worry!" I said. "Even if trains like these are a bit bumpy, they're super safe!"

"But it's so shaky…it wasn't like this in…" he says, before trailing off, looking at me with wide eyes.

"In where?" I asked. What was with that reaction anyways? Did he remember something?

"...I don't remember," he answered, looking down.

Drat. So much for that. We were no closer to getting Gen's memories back and no closer to the truth about who he was. Other than that wherever he was originally from, whatever he used to ride around in wasn't as shaky as the Carkol Express.

That didn't exactly narrow things down much. He could just be from someplace that had a lot of carriages.

I looked out one of the windows. We were almost there, I could see Estrue Town in the distance, and the Eternal Meadow beyond it.

It was just as beautiful as I remembered it.

Flowers as far as the eye could see, stretching past the horizon. It was like a rainbow spread across the ground.

I couldn't wait for us to have our picnic there!

I glanced back over at Gen. He was still shaking and looking down, not paying attention to the scenery at all.

Hopefully this visit to the Meadow would help him unwind.


Eternal Meadow, 30 minutes later


After depositing most of our items in one of those deposit box things in Estrue Town, we were on our way to the Eternal Meadow. Thankfully, I got to keep my reunion cape.

It felt really comforting to wear, like reunion was just around the corner. I hoped that was true.

"Gen, we're here. This is Eternal Meadow."

I looked up as Saltriv nudged at me. It surprised me a bit as to how quickly we arrived at the meadow…

My jaw dropped. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before back in Johto.

There were flowers everywhere. So, so many flowers, as far as I could see in every direction, spread out before me like a rainbow colored carpet. Roses, tulips, daffodils, sunflowers, gracedias… there were even flowers I didn't recognize, such as massive tree-like flowers, and pairs of yellow and blue flowers connected at the stem.

I could see a pair of Pokemon nearby having a picnic as a fox sniffed at them, and a trio of rabbits hopping through the flowers. The gentle breeze felt strangely nice against my fur.

It was a mystical place, the most beautiful I've ever seen.

Except, I just couldn't stay excited about being there. As wonderful as the place was, it didn't even come close to making up for losing my family, home, and humanity.

Why did I have to be here? Why couldn't I just have been left at home, not ripped away from everything I knew?

I couldn't be a hero. I couldn't save this world.

I just wanted to go home, and no amount of flowers could change that.

"So? What do you think?" Burhalla asked, walking through the flowers. "Isn't it a great place?"

"...yeah," I said, looking down at the flowers on the ground.

"Something wrong?" Burhalla asked, stepping closer to me.

What on earth was I supposed to say? Any attempt at trying to explain my feelings would backfire. I couldn't just say something like "I'm terrified that I'm going to have to save this world and I just want to go home. Oh, and I'm also human and I've been lying to you this whole time".

I knew how Burhalla felt about liars. He'd probably hate me the moment the words left my mouth for lying to him. Worse still, once others knew that I was human, I'd surely be forced to stay here until I saved this world. Nothing would—

"Gen?" Burhalla asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Um, uh, I'm just…still scared about the Illusory Grotto," I said, blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

Burhalla's expression didn't change. Did he believe me?

"Well…that place is probably already gone by now. And the 'great loss' thing probably was for Dreepy, not any of us," Burhalla said. "And for the pillow fort mystery dungeon, all we have to do is take apart the pillow fort, and it'll be gone. Nothing to worry about."

"Alright," I said, trying to force a smile, walking along through the meadow. "Thanks, Burhalla."

I just needed to keep lying and not make it obvious I was lying, at least until I find a way home.

… But what would happen to everyone here? What would happen to Burhalla and Saltriv if I just let this shadow disaster fester?

No, I couldn't do anything about that. I wasn't some hero like the World-Savers thought I was. Even if I really could do things like that, I didn't want to spend any more time here than I had to. I didn't want to be stuck in this body that drove me crazy every time I stopped and thought about how things weren't the way they were supposed to be in it.

I just wanted to go home.

Besides. There's Arctozolt. They were human. Two of them, even. Surely they could save this world, better than I ever could.

…I'll miss Saltriv and Burhalla when I go home, though. But that can't be helped. I couldn't imagine never cooking with dad again, or mom never giving me a hug again, or never watching a movie with Nisa again.

I missed them so much.

"Looks like we're not the only ones here!" Saltriv said.

I looked around. There was a Flapple and a Porygon-Z in the distance. It looked like they were having a picnic. Was that PNS-NT and Flapple? Or Manzaggle? Or… whatever they wanted to be called by. Names were weird here.

"Want to have our picnic out in the open, or under one of the eternal blooms?" Burhalla asked.

"Eternal blooms? Which ones are those?" I asked in return.

"Those!" Saltriv said, pointing with their leaf towards one of the big tree-like flowers. "That's an eternal bloom."

It had a stem that was as thick as a tree trunk, and several meter-long maroon petals. If I wasn't separated from my family, home, and humanity, it would probably be a breathtaking sight.

But I was indeed separated from all of those things. So my interest in the giant flower waned pretty quickly.

"Huh…um…I, uh. Don't really know," I said. Honestly, I didn't really care which.

"Let's go next to one of the eternal blooms, then! You'll love it, I'm sure!" Burhalla said, running towards the nearest one. Saltriv followed close behind.

"W-wait up!" I called. I tried to hurry after them, but it was difficult with my stubby little legs. This body was so weird.

When I arrived, Burhalla and Saltriv had already set out a picnic blanket, and were taking out the food. Still mostly berries, but there was also a donut for each of us.

I sat down, moving my tail a bit to get myself comfortable, before taking a berry to nibble on. Pecha. It tasted pretty good, but it would be better in a jam.

… I missed sandwiches. Did they have those in this world? Probably not anything like the ones they have in Paldea, but surely they had something, right?

Not like I could ask without the risk of revealing myself as human, though.

As I looked down and nibbled on the pecha berry, I listened to Burhalla and Saltriv's conversation with my strange sensitive ears.

"Haven't been here since last year!" Burhalla said.

"Yep! Been a while for me, too!" Saltriv said.

"Missed seeing all the flowers," Burhalla said. "There's nothing quite like it!"

"Oh, that reminds me!" Saltriv said. "I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it?" Burhalla asked.

"Just before I woke up in Twig Woodland with Gen, I had this weird dream," Saltriv said.

My fur immediately began to stand on end. Was Saltriv going to tell Burhalla about the platform in the rainbow void? What if he figured out that I'm the human from that? No, no no no!

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I had to stay calm. I had to not give anything away.

"R-really?" I asked.

"Yep! I even told you about it, before Burhalla found us!" Saltriv said.

Oh, right. They already told me about it, first thing after we woke up. I should have said something different!

"What was it about?" Burhalla asked.

"I was on a strange platform in a weird rainbow space, and I saw what looked like a human!" Saltriv said.

Oh no, no no no no! Was this it? Was Burhalla going to figure out the truth about me?

I tried to control my trembling, as I continued listening.

"Really? A human?" Burhalla said.

"Yep! I asked them a few questions, then I couldn't move. Then, the human looked up, and then grabbed me and ran, just as something crashed down where we were," Saltriv said. "Then I woke up next to Gen in Twig Woodland!"

"Yeah…I r-remember you telling me that now," I said.

I clutched tightly onto my reunion cape. How I wished it could take me home right now.

"That almost sounds like you were part of a Summoning. But why would you be there?" Burhalla said. "Especially since we know who the next human…or, well, humans, are, and who their partner is. Arctozolt and Dreepy."

"Yep…I actually thought Gen was that human," Saltriv said, and I dropped my pecha berry. "At least, until he told us he wasn't."

I looked up, seeing both Saltriv and Burhalla looking towards me. I couldn't breathe.

"Yeah…everything would make more sense if Gen was human," Burhalla said, looking back towards Saltriv. "It'd explain his amnesia, why he woke up next to you, and some other odd things."

"Yep…but he's not," Saltriv said.

"Yeah…would be cool if he was, though," Burhalla said, looking towards me. "Imagine if you actually were human! That'd be so cool!"

"Y-yeah…imagine…" I said, trying to stop hyperventilating.

"Hey, don't worry," Burhalla said, giving a soft smile at me. "Arctozolt is going to save the world, we're going to help you find your lost memories, and everything will be ok."

Would it, though? Would you say the same things if you knew I was human?

"I hope so…" I said, picking my pecha berry back up.

They were so close to figuring it out. It felt like only a matter of time now.

I needed to find a way home soon. I needed to. I needed to before I'd be left all alone.

I continued nibbling on the pecha berry, as Saltriv and Burhalla continued talking. Thankfully the subject had shifted from hypotheticals about "if I were really human" to some sort of scientific advancement. Something called a 'magnagate'? I couldn't make sense of it.

Eventually, I began to hear footsteps approaching us. My ears pricked up, an incredibly strange sensation, and I looked towards the source.

It was some sort of black-furred monkey-like Pokemon, with green bands wrapped around its arms. It was far taller than me, at least compared to how tall I was as an Oshawott.

"Greetings, I am Zarude," it said, turning to face me.

"Oshawott, I realize that this may be a bit sudden, but may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Huh?" Burhalla asked, looking towards Zarude. "We were having a picnic together, can you wait a bit?"

I scooched over towards Burhalla. What did this strange Pokemon want with me? Was it going to out my humanity?

"I'm sorry, but I would prefer not to wait," Zarude said, taking a step closer.

"Why?" Saltriv asked, tilting their head. "Do you know Gen somehow?"

"You could say that," Zarude said, and I felt my fur stand on end again. Just who was this Pokemon?

"Gen, I'd like to take you to see my daughter," Zarude said. "She said she wanted to see you again."

Daughter? What was that about? Was she one of the Pokemon I met in Overcast Village? Or…did she somehow know me as a human? Did she know why I'm here in this world?

"I mean, it's a bit unexpected, but we can make time for it, Gen," Burhalla said, beginning to smile again. "If you knew Zarude's daughter before losing your memory, she could remind you of who you are! Maybe she'd help you get your memory back!"

"Yep! And we can come with you!" Saltriv said, wagging their tail.

Zarude took a step back.

"I'm sorry, but my daughter wants to meet with Gen alone," Zarude said. "You two will have to stay here."

Alone. Alone. I didn't want to be alone, but…could this give me some answers?

"I dunno…but it's your choice, Gen. Do you want to go with Zarude?" Burhalla asked.

"Um…" I was unsure what to do. I was scared of going with this stranger, but Saltriv and Burhalla had also been strangers when I first woke up here.

It dawned on me that as scary as this felt... maybe it would be for the best to go along. If I went along with Zarude, Burhalla and Saltriv wouldn't question things that I brought up since I could claim that 'my memories returned to me'. Maybe I could even reveal that I was human without making Burhalla and Saltriv hate me.

... I wasn't too sure on that last one, especially with the way that humans were assumed to be heroes in this world. But at the very least whatever Zarude's daughter had to say to me would give me a cover story. And until I decided what to do, I could use this to keep my facade on a bit longer.

I nodded, and said, "I'll go with you."

"Good," Zarude said, before turning to Burhalla and Saltriv. "I'll bring him back before long. Now, Gen, follow me."

I finished the last of my pecha berry, then after waving at Burhalla and Saltriv, I started waddling after Zarude.

It was a pretty long walk through the flowers, but eventually, I started to see something strange on the horizon.

It was...I wasn't sure how to describe it. It was a creature, and it was really, really big. Bigger than any Pokemon I'd ever seen, besides the giant pink hand.

Speaking of the giant pink hand, the creature had the same colors as it. Pink and black. It looked draconic, and almost skeletal, with some sort of ball of light in what I could only assume was its chest.

Was it somehow related to the giant hand?

As we drew closer, I realized that Zarude was guiding me towards the creature. That thing…wasn't his daughter, right?

Soon, Zarude called out, "Eternity, he's here!"

The creature began to stir, and lift off the ground. My heart began to race. It was…terrifying.

And then, it drew near, near enough for me to see just how gigantic it was, and spoke, in a voice that sounded like many speaking at once. It sounded exactly like the screams I heard when I was falling through the rainbow void.

"Hi! Nice to meet you again!" Eternity said.

I was frozen in shock. What was this thing?! And it sounded so cheerful, nothing like what I thought it'd sound like. What was going on?

"Cheerful as always, I see! Glad you're doing well," Zarude said, stepping closer to…Eternity, and rubbing its…face? Something face-like.

"Don't worry, she's very sweet. Now, I'll leave you two be for now," Zarude told me, before stepping away, leaving me alone with Eternity.

What do I say to this thing? How did it know me?

"...um. H-hi," I said, gripping tightly onto my reunion cape. "Uh. What are you?"

"Papa says I'm something called an Eternatus!" Eternity said.

A what? I'd never heard of a Pokemon like that before…then again, I'd never seen anything like Eternity before.

"I…I see," I responded.

As I looked closer at Eternity, I noticed that her tail was…wagging.

Huh. Was this thing really that happy to see me?

"I wanted to make sure you were ok!" Eternity said. "I was really worried about you when I tried to help you and the platform broke and you started falling."

I almost tapped my reunion cape right then and there. Eternity was the giant pink hand?! And she was trying to help me?!

What should I even say?

Wait, oh no, she saw me in the rainbow void! That meant she knew I was human! She could maybe tell others about it!

Gah, I had to think up something! But what?!

"Um…c-come again?" I said, trembling.

"You know, the realm between here and the human world! When you were human!" Eternity said.

"Um…" I began, but she interrupted me before I could figure out what to say.

"I thought you'd be lost to Ultra Space, but you made it here and you're ok!" Eternity said, doing a twirl in the air. "And now I'm getting to meet a real human again! Yippee!"

"...you were trying to help me?" I asked. I had thought that the giant pink hand was trying to crush me or squeeze me or do something bad to me, but…was she really just trying to help?

"Yeppers!" Eternity said. "I was trying to bring you here, but you made it here safe and sound by yourself!"

Anger rose up in my chest.

"Wait…you were the one who ripped me away from my home?!" I cried. She was the reason I lost everything?!

"Huh? No, that wasn't me," Eternity said, curling up a bit. "I just saw you there all alone, and I wanted to help you!"

And the anger began to dissipate. My breathing slowed back down.

So it wasn't her who did this to me…but…

"Why didn't you just bring me back home?" I asked.

"Isn't this your home now?" Eternity asked in return.

My tail began to lash, and my right arm glowed darkly.

"No, no, not at all!" I shouted. "I hate this! I hate everything about this! Every moment of this is suffering! I lost everything! My home, my family, even my humanity! This body is so weird and wrong and uncomfortable! I feel so, so alone! This is not my home! It'll never be my home! I want to go home! To my real home, in Goldenrod City!"

Eternity looked away as her tail drooped towards the ground. "Oh…" she whimpered.

Great, now I felt terrible for upsetting her. Sure, she was terrifying, but she also seemed to be really childlike. She was like a big Growlithe. A really, really big Growlithe.

"...look. I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm just…scared. Really scared," I said, looking up at Eternity.

Then an idea struck my mind, and I could feel my own tail begin to wag.

"Wait! If you could bring me here…could you bring me back home?" I asked.

She had brought me to this world, hadn't she? Could I finally go home at last?

Maybe she could even let me visit sometimes, to see Saltriv and Burhalla again. So long as it wasn't permanent, only for a little bit at a time. That would be perfect—

"Nope, I can't do that," she said, crushing my hopes. "I don't have enough power for that."


"Not enough power? What do you mean?" I asked.

"It took a lot of my power to go to that realm in the first place," she explained. "It'll be a while before I'm strong enough to go there again."

"Oh…" I felt my tail flop against the ground. "Well…when you have enough power again, could you bring me home?"

She seemed to be in thought for a few seconds, her…fingers? Finger-like things. Whatever they were, she was tapping them together. Then, she stopped, and said, "I'm not sure. I gotta help save the world first! I wanna be a hero like the humans!"

And there's that again, about how humans were supposed to be heroes. I clutched tightly onto my reunion cape. "I…I see…"

"That reminds me! You're human, too!" Eternity said, suddenly getting way too close for comfort. "How's your world-saving coming along? Did you beat up any bad guys yet? I bet you've made lots of friends, too! You're so cool!"

That sinking feeling of dread returned, as my eyes drifted down at the flowers on the ground.

"I…I c-can't," I said.

Eternity tilted her head, tapping her finger-things together again.

"What do you mean you can't?" she asked. "You're human! You can do anything! I even summoned two humans myself, and they can help you!"

Two humans…was that Arctozolt, or another pair?

…it didn't matter right now.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I can't," I said.

The revelation that Arctozolt might have been summoned by Eternity should have shocked me, but I was too scared to care right now.

"But you have to!" Eternity pleaded, reaching an arm-thing out to me. "Humans always save—"

I couldn't take any more of this. I tapped the bow of my reunion cape, and felt myself be whisked away, back to Burhalla.

As I landed back on the picnic blanket that my teammates were at, I felt a pair of vines and a pair of scaly arms wrap around me in a hug.

"Gen! What happened? Why are you crying?" Saltriv asked.

I didn't even realize I had been crying. But…it made sense, given what I had just learned.

"Did something bad happen?" Burhalla asked.

Something very bad, but I couldn't tell him. Not without making things even worse.

"I just…they were mistaken. I wasn't the person they thought I was," I said. I realized it was one more lie that'd make Burhalla hate me later, but right now I just couldn't care.

"I'm sorry…we'll figure it out. We'll find a way to restore your memories," Burhalla said, stepping my way with arms outstretched.

"Yep! We're both here for you!" Saltriv said, wrapping a pair of vines around me.

"...th-thanks," I said, accepting their embrace.

Even with my two friends in this world hugging me, I didn't feel any better.

Why did all of this have to happen?

Why me?
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