Pokémon Pokemon: Legendary Adventures

[Flyg0n]

Thank you so much for your reviews and comments! I really appreciate all of them. A few quick replies:

Lost Tower: Yeah at the time of writing I was definitely going more game-y as an approach. If I were to provide a lore answer... Probably ghosts gather there because of spirit energy, but the lower levels act as memorials or graveyards, whereas ghost-pokemon like to hang higher up. My hc would be that at least some of the trainers probably battle as a way to release tension or ceremonially, while some are just there visiting.

Most likely the ghosts tend to not bother the latter.

Some ghosts like the battle I guess? Also anytime you build a memorial or gravesite ghosts just show up anyway lol.

Quick Balls: :chibium: Yeah lol, I don't have an answer for this. Maybe uh... Maybe its a ball that works well on a pokemon who's aura isn't weakened? Like in theory, since my HC involves battles/techniques are aura based, the ball is designed to be more effective on a pokemon still strong as opposed to weakened? This is definitely a game-moment.

Alright, I've had mild suspicion of Charles since he's shown up, but this line practically screams foreshadowing. Canon explicitly shows that there's more than one lugia (even discounting the "baby" lugia... unless you're considering baby lugia's parent the same one from Movie 2000?). So either Callahan doesn't know/believe this, or he's intentionally lying. I'm... actually unsure on your personal thoughts on this; could be author choice, I guess, too. But it does make me somewhat more suspicious of this guy's motives, assuming he's going to show up again in future chapters.

So just to clear something upthat I technically have no way of address in-universe yet... I don't quite ascribe to canons multiple legendaries concept, generally speaking, especially the fraudulent baby Lugia (oops, sorry, I really don't vibe with this one). There's some... caveats and quirks to this, and there are ways in which stuff can be a little different but generally speaking I don't abide by canon, only borrow elements. So... I can't comment on whether everything a character believes is actually true but don't judge too much by canon, especially the anime.

Anyways thank you greatly as always, I am delighted you're enjoying this and reading it!

 

[Seren]

Alright, chapter 17 threw me for a loop so I'm just going to get right into it:

Spoiler: chapter 17 lines

"They're doing great," Koa said excitedly. If there was one thing he loved as much as legendaries, it was his team, he realized.

I love this, good to see Koa actually recognizing how much he's come to care about his team.

"But is there some kind of specific trigger? An environment thing, or stone or some kind of move he needs to know?"

I thought for sure with this being mentioned that Echo was going to evolve either in this chapter or very soon. It didn't happen here, but knowing you, there's going to be some dramatic hero-evolution involved, either in an intense battle or to protect Koa or something.

Blake frowned, considering, before shaking his head. The specific trigger itself isn't known, at least as far as I'm aware.

In that same section, there's a missing quotation mark.

"So do you have an answer then?" he asked eagerly.

Even after reading the chapter, I'm not entirely sure what Koa's awaiting an answer from Rowan on. Something relating to Rascal, obviously, and it eventually mentions egg moves... but it's been so long that I don't recall exactly what Koa was hoping to know that couldn't just be looked up. Might want to make note of it at some point as a refresher for readers, I think it'd be handy.

During the restoration process, certain latent genes are activated. Hence, a pokemon restored directly from a fossil will have the potential to learn any move, theoretically."

So I think if I had to guess, Koa wanted to know how egg moves work, based on him trying to teach Rascal ice fang. Don't recall why he had to ask Rowan this, though.

Anyway, that aside... I see you have fossil pokemon working slightly different than normal pokemon and egg moves here. Obviously this is so Rascal can still eventually learn ice fang later, but it's interesting either way. But this last line does make me wonder... what does he mean "potential to learn any move"? Like I don't think it's intended to mean "tyrantrum can learn psystrike" but that's how it reads. It's not quite explained effectively. Again, I assume it means, a fossil pokemon can learn any move on its moveset, regardless of if it's a TM, tutor, egg move, whatever... but that's just my assumption. To be fair, I'm not sure how to word that elegantly either, but I don't think it works as it's written here.

"No. Don't be ridiculous. I don't like losing. But I can tell when something is off. You seem like you changed your approach. Like you weren't strategizing or something."

"What would you know?!" Koa protested. He scowled slightly. "We've only traveled together for like, not even two weeks total."

She regarded him evenly. "It's my job to be good at noticing things."

Okay, this. This entire exchange caught me by surprise (in a very satisfying way), and I'll explain why.

During this battle, I couldn't help but feel that something was off. It was different than Koa's previous battles, and I for the life of me couldn't put my finger on why. It felt almost like this battle was written purely for Koa to just show off how strong he and his team were, and how good they were at their new moves that they'd been practicing. Like his opponent was just a punching bag that might possibly strike back. Avis didn't get to do anything truly spectacular. Noctowl just got crushed by Anubis. Glameow could only slash. I guess staraptor had that fly attack, but even that felt like it was used purely for Scrapper to show off sky uppercut. I had been about to quote it to point out "it would have been nice if Avis pulled out a surprise attack or two also".

But then this happened. The second Avis said that Koa wasn't strategizing, it connected it in my head with the previous scene when Koa himself wondered if he was focusing too much on strategizing. So, in this battle, he didn't do that. He just went for power move after power move, damage and more damage. Almost every battle before this had some kind of twist to it that made it unique, whereas in this battle, neither trainer did anything truly surprising. And it felt like it, even though I couldn't put a finger on it immediately. It was written this way on purpose. And it stands out specifically because all your previous battle scenes did have a twist!

And having it revealed to me by the character who also noticed something off really felt like a genuine... well, reveal of sorts. So like... I'm impressed. You managed to write this battle entirely differently than Koa normally battles, without giving away why until afterwards, when it all suddenly made complete and total sense. Kudos, I love it.

(That said, I am slightly puzzled as to why Koa is agitated here as well, but I can chalk it up to him just being kind of a hotheaded guy on occasion. Perhaps it was just because Avis caught on to him intentionally not strategizing?)

Finally, I adore how calm and level-headed Avis is here. Nothing rattles her, does it?

"Hm... The only thing is, why not just catch a few new pokemon then? Most pokemon don't have a problem fighting alongside a human who battled them the proper way and caught them. They don't exactly see the world like we do."

Huh. This is an interesting angle. Why would Team Rocket and such need to steal pokemon (at least, ones they want to use for themselves), when just battling them is usually enough to win their cooperation, regardless of motives? If they're going to sell them or whatever, sure, but to use for themselves? That's a good way of looking at it. Avis is quite clever.

"Hmm..." Avis mused. "How about I train with you? Then, when we get close to the cafe, we can have a battle. Winner pays," she added.

I like that Koa lost this battle because he was practicing ice fang tbh. That's what friendly battles are for. Not to dominate, but to practice new moves. Reminds me of when Olivia battled Zack in AQ; I had Kimiko purposely opt against psychic attacks, and instead try to get a feel for the range and power of dazzling gleam. Save the "must win now" for actual battles, not training battles!

Chapter 18 was a fun one. Knew there was gonna be some bullshit with the psyduck, but I was glad to see them portrayed as competent (well, at least when in a group) rather than bumbling comedic relief. The Blackout encounter was fun, looks like we're going to start getting into the weeds of that subplot soon! Glad Koa's egg finally hatched! Also sad to see Avis finally depart, feels like she's been with Koa for a while and it was fun to see their rivalry developing. But I do enjoy seeing a solo trainer and their team, something I don't get to write about often, myself.

Spoiler: chapter 18 lines

His thoughts settled immediately on the same thing they usually did when he was thinking. The Two Entei. No matter what he did, his mind kept returning to them. Professor Dragonwood had stated with great certainty that the Three beasts were unique. But Callahan seemed to hold a different opinion. Not to mention Callahan's belief that the Three themselves held some kind of power linked to their resurrection.

The two lines of thought were driving him mad. Who was right? Callahan was respected and known well over, but he also really liked the professor. Charles was kind and amiable and had a contagious passion for his work. His theory of beasts being unique also coincided more with Koa's own belief.

Oh! Interesting that this was brought up again, considering my previous request for clarification. Glad to see it's already been addressed in-fic. I almost feel guilty for asking for more info, heh.

Avis nodded urgently. "I know." She gestured to her Staraptor, who stood beside her. "Take my Staraptor."

This is amusing to me considering you were surprised when Ana loaned her tauros to Alex; You did it first! (Although to be fair, Avis has been traveling with Koa for a couple weeks now, and it was only for a brief period; Ana had only been conscious around Alex for like half a day, lol.)

A crackle filled the air and a tingle shot down his spine. Echo let out a shriek of alarm and fluttered into the air. Koa froze. He knew that feeling. It meant just one thing - Team Blackout had arrived.

Kind of wondering how there was a tingle in the air when the dude didn't even have a pokemon out yet, but I guess that can be attributed to the other Blackout dudes hiding around that Avis fought off. (Wish I thought of an evil team that caused static in the air though, lol)

The man chuckled. "Seriously? Am I supposed to be afraid of -" he laughed, "A Golbat?"

Love how many people mock Echo; very realistic player reaction to having to fight a grunt with a golbat, honestly. But surprise, golbat is actually Good!

A sudden idea came to Koa. "Rascal, quick, grab Raich

u and swing it!"

What's this? Koa back to strategizing again, without even realizing it?! wtf why did this quote cut off halfway

A dark expression crossed Avis's face, but quickly vanished. "I don't think you want the details. Let's just say they're not interested in keeping them warm and safe."

Huh. What could Blackout be doing with the eggs, then? Cracking them open, killing the baby inside? ...But why? What does this accomplish? I guess it could just mean that they sell the eggs, but... if someone knows it's a psyduck egg, it's not very valuable anyway (as evidenced by them discussing if the baby psyduck will be safe after they hatch). So I'm kind of intrigued what else Blackout could be doing.

It opened its eyes, revealing dark, shining black orbs.

ORBZ

"That's Echo. He's the first pokemon I ever caught. Flurry squealed happily

Ending off with another missing quotation mark.

And that's that! Spheal is such an odd water-type. It's not locked to water, like most fish pokemon (which is why they're not often seen on MC teams), but also not very great on land, like empoleon or something. I guess it can roll to move, but that's so awkward. Gonna be interesting to see how Koa battles with her!

 

[Seren]

Chapter 19 was a little too philosophical for me, hah. I tend to agree with Koa there, all those lectures and things go in one ear and out the other. But there were a lot of fun moments in this one, too!

Spoiler: chapter 19 lines

So far, she was capable of using Aqua Ring decently, and Defense Curl well enough. Then he'd taught her to use Rollout. Unfortunately, now he couldn't get her to stop using Rollout. Clearly rolling around at high speeds amused her thoroughly.

This is bloody adorable. I love her.

Davido pulled out a pokeball. "This won't take long." He tossed the pokeball out. A Wurmple appeared

oh my god, the confidence of this kid

(I know your worldbuilding allows for any pokemon to be able to take on another, but this one's still funny!)

The light faded, revealing a Cascoon.

Oooh, opponent trainer battle evolution for once!

Cynthia was the only prominent trainer he knew with a Garchomp.

KOA NO!

"First, tell me. What is ice?"

Koa sighed inwardly. Great. Philosophy. Another one of his not strong suits. "It's water... in solid form. Right?" he asked.

You and me both, mate.

Koa wasn't sure about that, but he did know what NevermeltIce was. An ultra rare shard of a mysterious ice-like substance that, like the name implied, never melted. They could be given to pokemon to enhance the power of ice-type moves. This had to be the object Wilma wanted him to retrieve. But why?

Calling it now, he's going to give it to Rascal and next time they battle the aura from the item helps her use ice fang.

Wilma chuckled. "Oh no, this is my Flygon. My pride and joy. I've raised him from an egg."

Have we seen a flygon in LA yet or is this the first? I feel like this is the first. I'm surprised it took this long!

As Koa watched, the Flygon clutched its chest with one claw, threw its head back, then flung itself on the ground and stuck out its tongue. Rascal clocked her head and stared at Flygon, perplexed.

Wilma shook her head. "A bit overkill, don't you think Emerald?"

Drama Queen Emerald, I love it! It's always fun to see where there's similarities in different fics. (I have a similar scene to this in one of my one-shots, not sure if I have it posted or not, but Kirsten's ivysaur basically does this exact same thing, except it isn't in battle, it's in response to her calling him overweight.)

Very intrigued by chapter 20! Knew it was only a matter of time till we saw another Johto beast.

Spoiler: chapter 20 lines

A security guard strode up, greeting them with a brief wave. "I'm sorry, but the ruins are now closed. I'll have to ask you both to please leave."

Oh what I wouldn't give to kick people out at closing time...

"I'm sorry, Mr. Koamaru, but our cafeteria is closed at the moment." Nurse Joy smiled sympathetically.

This is such a weird, small nitpick, I know. But I'm surprised the pokemon center cafe is closed, but restaurants are still open. Like, I feel like trainers are more likely to be wandering around in the middle of the night and therefore more likely to wander in and need food and healing at any time of day, so I'd imagine the cafe area would be open, if not all night like a fast food place, then at least later than local diners.

Oh, and I almost punched a girl in the face."

Oh, I hope we do get this story at some point.

"And that's not even the worst of it! The flying type gym leader doesn't even have real gym battles!"

Oh good, we do! Hated this. Interesting to note, though, that this gives us a timeline of sorts about when LA takes place. Obviously it's before Ash visited Skyla, so this is all happening before the BW anime.

"Apparently his trainer abandoned him because his wing was broken in some kind of accident. Once the trainer found out he wouldn't fly again, they just left him."

Aww. Poor 'lil pidgey. ...I bet Kitto's gonna find a way to train him anyway.

Koa reviewed everything he remembered from his battle and brief training with Kitto. Hitmonchan used exclusively short-range moves. Right now, Echo knew Air Slash. Perhaps he could try and fight at a distance, to put Hitmonchan at a disadvantage.

Noting this because... it seems Koa's back to strategizing again, whether he realizes it or not. I admit, it's... a little disappointing because it feels like his "revolution" about strength over strategy didn't really go anywhere before he's back to his proper battling ways, almost like it's been forgotten about.

Just a few yards away, at the edge of a copse of trees, stood a pokemon. A huge quadruped, with iridescent yellow fur, zigzagged through with black stripes and a purple mane sweeping back from its neck. "Raikou..." he whispered.

It's gonna be like Entei isn't it? It's not the real raikou.

Raikou stood a mere three feet away, looming over him. Koa fell onto the ground, his heart pounding. Raikou gazed down at him and he froze. His breath caught in his throat. The beast stood well over six feet tall, larger than any picture or rendering could do justice. Luminescent yellow fur shone in the light, cut through with black stripes. It gazed at him with empty orange eyes, expression utterly cold. In fact, they appeared almost sightless, as if looking through him.

Nope. It's a creepy raikou. I'm intrigued a bit over what this means, though. I originally wrote off the Entei encounter (and by extension, the impending raikou and suicune encounters) as you just not wanting to write Sinnoh 'mon, but now I find myself wondering the same thing the news report did. Why are the Johto beasts in Sinnoh? Not just the fakes, but the real ones, too? (Real Entei was there, after all.) And why are they attacking... well, attacking. I'm trying to find a connection between Amity Square and Celestic Ruins, but I've not a clue. But I feel there's got to be something I'm missing there.

That was a question Koa had been mulling over in the back of his mind for some time. Originally, he had only planned for his six. "Dunno..." he admitted finally. "Maybe. Now that I have that Box Link system I told you about, I could easily swap between my pokemon." Ever since Charles had given it to him, it was a thought in the back of his mind.

Glad this was brought up again! I still don't think I recall Koa actually catching anything up to the currently posted chapters, but I'm glad this wasn't forgotten about.

I'm slowly catching up! I know we get passed Maylene based on me metagaming a bit, but getting to Canalave and Iron Island seems like a lot of ground to cover in seven chapters!

 

[Flyg0n]

Was bored, figured I'd do some quick replies

Have we seen a flygon in LA yet or is this the first? I feel like this is the first. I'm surprised it took this long!

For a long time I was allergic to adding any pokemon that were my top favs to my story because... it would be??? bias of me??? Idk I had a weird hangup for so long lol.

This is such a weird, small nitpick, I know. But I'm surprised the pokemon center cafe is closed, but restaurants are still open. Like, I feel like trainers are more likely to be wandering around in the middle of the night and therefore more likely to wander in and need food and healing at any time of day, so I'd imagine the cafe area would be open, if not all night like a fast food place, then at least later than local diners.

Listen I needed to contrive a reason to have Koa go places . In all seriousness, I had the exact same thought while rereading this chapter lol.
Maybe its a temporary closure.

Oh good, we do! Hated this. Interesting to note, though, that this gives us a timeline of sorts about when LA takes place. Obviously it's before Ash visited Skyla, so this is all happening before the BW anime.

Try not to think too hard about canon. Its true I borrowed her from anime canon, but Ash definitely does not exist nor will he ever exist in my canon. The timeline is more like... vaguely gameish with anime elements imported? So this is generally pre BW stuff and pre other stuff. (except Kalos stuff happened). Its complicated lol.

Noting this because... it seems Koa's back to strategizing again, whether he realizes it or not. I admit, it's... a little disappointing because it feels like his "revolution" about strength over strategy didn't really go anywhere before he's back to his proper battling ways, almost like it's been forgotten about.

(yes and no. I got some flak when writing this that made me tone back how I handled the arc but suffice to say its not all tied up in a neat bow yet.)

 

[Seren]

Ooof. chapter 21 was a rough one for Koa. Nothing quite like being handed a brutal, humiliating loss as a wake-up call.

Spoiler: chapter 21 lines

"They're these super cool siblings who know just about everything about pokemon. Like which pokemon are the strongest and which ones aren't, and all kinds of weird mathematical stuff.

Oh, I already know I'm not gonna like these guys. This won't end well.

The lead boy shrugged. "Incineroar are just naturally strong. High attack power and a wide-ranged moveset they can utilize. Minun just aren't strong."

Yep, don't like 'em. Like, even if this were a true statement in your universe, you don't just say it to someone using their favorite pokemon. Like sure, of course there are gonna be some pokemon who are more naturally stronger than others, but like... that's what training is for!

His sister elbowed him hard. "Dimitri!" she hissed. She turned towards the girl and offered her an apologetic smile. "Sorry Joanna. Your Minun is lovely. I think what my brother was trying to say is that your Minun might not be the best for high-level competition. They simply... don't have the natural strength that other pokemon do. But he'll be just fine if you just want to do regular battles."

Honestly I don't know which is worse, this attempt or her brother's. At least her tone is more polite about it, but what she's saying still isn't very nice! I guess I still dislike Dimitri more though, what a dick.

"That was rough," Demetria said, offering a sympathetic smile. "You had a good strategy though, trying to poison her Machoke."

Wait, what? Doesn't machoke get guts as an ability? Back to Koa's power thing, I see. That's not what I'd call a good strategy. Especially when the user's secondary type is super effective on fighting-types! Maybe these three aren't as good as they think they are.

If he really wanted to prove that any pokemon, any trainer could become great, he had to prove it.

This sentence reads a little funny. "If he wanted to prove it, he had to prove it." Maybe it should say like "if he really believed any pokemon could become great, he had to prove it".

Echo was trying to fight the Staraptor for him. So he could catch a strong pokemon. So he could beat the gym and accomplish his goals. His heart stuttered.

Oh no. This scene was so sad! After all they've been through, poor Echo trying to help Koa by finding him a stronger replacement... The nighttime thunderstorm really added to the whole mood, too.

Suddenly, a blazing light lit up the entire valley. Echo began to glow, the light intensifying until it reached a near blinding level.

Oh, there it is! Not the flashy mid-battle evolution I had been expecting, but touching nonetheless! And I love that the whole team was there too, not just Koa.

Just the one chapter tonight (at least, for the moment). I'm hoping to finish getting caught up by the weekend!

 

[Seren]

Some good action in chapter 22! A proper gym battle and some criminal confrontation, always a good time.

Spoiler: Chapter 22 lines

The arrival of the next morning brought a few interesting revelations. One, he was sore. The tumble down the cliff had banged him up worse than he realized. His whole body protested as he tried to roll out of bed. Standing brought a fresh wave of aches and he groaned. Looking at his arms and torso, he noted that he was fairly bruised up as well, giving him the appearance of having been in a fight.

Third, his jacket was a sorry sight. The arms were noticeably scraped up, and the back had a long rip across it, showing the inner lining. Several more smaller tears pockmarked the outside. He frowned at the sight. It wasn't technically unwearable, given it wasn't uncommon to see trainers in roughed up clothing, but he'd definitely have to get a new one today.

There seems to be a missing paragraph or something here. It goes from "first", talking about Koa's sores, to "third", his ruined clothes. Not sure what happened to the "second", unless the arms/torso bruises were meant to be counted separately.

He took a breath, his heart pounding. All of a sudden, he realized how tense his body was, and he forced himself to relax. He hadn't meant to blurt all that out like that.

Oh, good. I read this and was like "Oh, Koa, dude, no..." Stuck-up snots like that don't usually care about getting told off by someone they deem weaker than them, especially when it seems like they went through the effort to seek them out just to ramble at them. It just makes him look more annoying to them. But I'm glad Koa realized he shouldn't just have gone and done it.

"Bug Buzz!"

A purple blade shot through the air towards Hazard, and was met by a red beam of energy shot from Joltilk's jaws. The bug type energy pierced through Psycho Cut and struck Meditite. It tumbled midair, but still caught itself, remaining hovering several inches off the battlefield.

This is an interesting interpretation of bug buzz! I've always thought of it as a sound-based move, like with waves traveling through the air. I imagine you could still make that work to deflect psycho cut. Anyway, I'm curious as to where your idea of this red energy beam came from? Is this how it looks in the anime?

Koa groaned. "So stupid," he muttered under his breath. "Thanks for the heads up. I guess that means I'll head to Canalave then." Heading home would be nice, he guessed. He hadn't seen Blake face to face in awhile, and he'd love to visit the library again.

Hm. I believe I have 5 chapters to go (23, 24, 25, 26, 27), and I'm pretty sure based on discord pickups that at least the last two are part of the Iron Island arc you'd been struggling with. So three chapters to get to Snowpoint and back. I'd been thinking that would be plenty of time, but now that I type it out, that does seem relatively quick, when taking past between-city chapters into account. I wonder if they'll just postpone the festival and Koa will get to go see it when he finally does travel up there?

Koa nodded thoughtfully. "Huh... Sounds pretty sick. You know... I have to say that what you guys do is impressive. It can't be easy creating strategies and raising your team like that."

I enjoy this mutual understanding Koa and Deuce come to here, that both their battle styles have merit. There does tend to be a divide between the casual and competitive halves of the community.

A bright flash burst in the center of the room. Spots danced across Koa's vision and he saw a hazy figure of a pokemon move towards him. Koa started to reach for his pokeball, but something struck him, knocking him to the floor. A jolt of electricity shot through his body and he froze up, unable to move. His heart raced. What had hit him? Was he dying?

Oh boy, here we go, the good stuff! >:)

This did make me consider something, not just in this scene, but in general fic and the anime; it's interesting how in battles, paralysis seems to be random and in short bursts, while in other cases, like this, it seems to be instant and, while still temporary, last for a longer stretch. Obviously this is for plot reasons, but I wonder if there's different levels or styles of thunder wave/paralysis that can be adjusted? But in that case, why not just always go for the longer duration one in battle? Easier to wail on your opponent if they're reliably frozen for a while. Or maybe it just affects humans differently.

The man leaned a little closer and squinted. "Hey! Isn't that the kid Adam told us about? Said he had dark blue hair and a red jacket?"

Koa tensed.

"I think it is," the woman replied. "Hey, I've got a deal for you. How about we return whatever pokemon we stole from you, then you let us go? It's a win-win. You get your precious little pokemon back, we get to go about our business."

"How about a counter-offer?" he snarled. "You give back the pokemon you stole before I punch you in the face myself?"

Ooooh, Koa's got a reputation amongst the villains! (I guess it's earned, they probably don't have a lot of opposition that just punches their grunts in the face.) Love how they try to bargain with him and he gets snarky in reply.

He recognized the trap as the kind poachers used to trap steel and rock-type pokemon. It was designed for pokemon with tough, sturdy hides and armor on their legs. Not soft flesh like Scrapper. Scrapper himself seemed to be unconscious, and a closer inspection revealed some kind of residue on the teeth of the trap. Some kind of poison or knockout agent?

Oh dear. Scrapper must have thick legs to for a trap that intense to not be severe. Still knocked him out, though, I see, that makes sense.

He glanced up at the clock again, then looked back down. 6 hours, 41 minutes and... 17 seconds had passed since he'd handed Scrapper off to the nurse. He'd also discovered this particular pokemon center contained 794 tiles on the floor, not counting the half tiles along the walls.

Love this, very realistic depiction of unpleasant waiting. Glad Scrapper is gonna be okay after that.

Started late so only one chapter tonight as well. Still hoping to use the weekend to get caught up, though! 5 chapters, 3 days, that's doable. Looking forward to seeing how we fill the time not going to Snowpoint as I expected!

 

[Seren]

Chapter 23 gave me some mixed feelings, honestly. Most of it was pretty good, but there was one scene that I just... really didn't feel worked, and I spent like an hour trying to gather my thoughts on it into something coherent, so I hope it makes sense.

Aside, not sure if this chapter was a little longer than normal or my sense of time is skewed, but I actually couldn't get through this in one sitting. I only read up to Koa going to the gym last night, or I'd have had this up earlier.

Spoiler: Chapter 23 lines

Koa lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and watching the fan blades spin.

This opening scene was a good, realistic reaction to what Koa just went through the chapter before, with him not being able to sleep or get his injured pokemon out of his mind. Scrapper's also been a surprise; I'd been expecting a lot more of a fuss from him as well, so perhaps there's some character growth there, too!

His cousin continued, silencing Koa. "There's a boat leaving at 6pm. I've purchased your ticket already. Just show them your trainer ID." His cousin paused. "Don't miss it." Click.

Alright, this scene with Blake was both hit and miss for me.

On one hand, I like the dynamic. I get the reaction you were going for; Instead of Blake snapping and yelling, he's silent and fuming. His silence builds dramatic tension, but instead of leading to a big tongue lashing in private, Koa gets the "I'm not mad, just disappointed/worried" reaction instead. Something more empathetic and recognizing Koa's actions for what they were, while still trying to impress upon him the severity of those actions. I get that, it makes sense, coming from someone like Blake, who's really protective of his family.

The part that ruined it for me, though, was Blake forcing Koa to come home for it, going so far as to buy the boat ticket for him.

This entire conversation feels like it could have happened over video phone in a pokemon center. Forcing him to come home felt overly-dramatic, and somewhat anti-climactic when, after the fact, they just chill and catch up like nothing happened. If Blake were actually angry/worried and was actually going to snap but didn't want to do it in public, or just wanted Koa back in person safe and sound in front of him, it could have worked. But like... The casual chat afterwards not only made dragging Koa home feel like both an extreme and unnecessary response, but on top of that, Blake just doesn't have any right to be dictating what Koa's doing with his journey/life. And Koa was clearly in no state of mind to argue back, so he just rolls with it, expecting to be in trouble.

On top of that, Koa was already planning a return trip to Canalave as his next destination anyway, so this whole thing of Blake dragging him back wasn't even necessary! (Not that he'd know this in-universe, but from a meta standpoint, I just don't feel it makes sense.) Honestly, I think this would have worked better if Koa just went home to Canalave on his own as planned with his brain gremlins eating at him, and then surprise! Blake is standing there at the docks when his boat arrives looking pissed. (I'm not sure how Blake would find out when Koa's coming home, but that would be easy enough to whip something up for.)

Maybe this is another example of a personal minor nitpick that I'm just blowing up, but it made me really mad at Blake. It just kinda fell flat to me, and it actually made me dislike him quite a lot.

I dunno if I'm explaining this right, but it just didn't work for me.

No pokemon but Ho-Oh.

Ho-Oh the legendary phoenix, resurrector, guardian of the Bell Tower.

Contrary to the above, I actually really liked the ho-oh feather scene. Koa finally got to... well, not meet, exactly, but encounter a legendary in a peaceful setting! We got to linger on the moment for a while too, which also felt like a notable change of pace; usually there's always something going on, some motion or action, but here we got to soak it in for a few paragraphs. The special symbolism of having it happen in the spot where Echo evolved was a nice touch, too. It felt like a lot of care was given to this scene. (And given the end-chapter notes and your ho-oh bias, it's not really a surprise!)

A short check in, the steward explained the boat trip was roughly a week long, during which they would make several stops before Canalave.

Well, I'd originally thought that we'd get a couple of boat chapters (maybe pokemon team bonding time) instead of Snowpoint, but Koa had already gotten off the boat by the end of the chapter, so. Still up in the air on what happens next!

Fake legendaries were the only answer that made sense, but what else could be strong enough for that?

Loved Koa doing legendary research on-screen again.

One thing that stands out to me here though is... what is Mirage Technology? I don't recall it being mentioned in the fic at all to this point, and... the only thing I can think of is like, Hoenn's mirage island? So it's something that basically creates images or illusions of pokemon, specifically legendaries, I assume, but... idk, I feel this should be mentioned somewhere if it's important.

Looking at Byron, it was strange to think that Roark was his soon.

Should be "son".

The gym battle was a good one. Another one of those "you can tell something is wrong but it's not immediately apparent" moments. There were a few more clues though, like with Koa second guessing his commands, and even retracting them at one point, and it caused Rascal to stumble as a result. Kinda wish we got more of this in fic in general.

She gave a low grumble, which he interpreted as 'Get over it.'

I love Rascal. Straight to the point, no bullshit. Such a good dino.

Mysterious Break-in at Aether Paradise Still Unresolved

This caught my attention. Obviously the fact that the details of this article were highlighted means it's relevant in some way, but I can't imagine what Blackout (if it is them) would be doing there. Or how any of Alola's gangs would matter to Sinnoh. Eager to see when this gets brought up again!

Once he had all 8 badges he could ascend Mt. Coronet, and find the Spear Pillar.

Kind of ironic that we were literally just discussing this, and here at the end of the very next chapter, it's mentioned again, heh. No mention of a league here. I do vaguely recall the badges being needed to access Spear Pillar from early chapters now, but I still assumed he'd be fighting in a league too, although it never occurred to me to wonder what he'd gain out of it.

I liked chapter 24 a lot, and I can't really place a specific reason why. But it was a nice refresher from the Blake thing, heh.

Spoiler: Chapter 24 lines

*Scrapper (Male Breloom) {Ability: Effect Spore}

Right off the bat, this stands out. I notice you're recording abilities now (had you been doing that the entire time and I just never noticed??), but on top of that, Scrapper's got this star by his name. And we know he's been injured. So like... is this a clue that he's about to be off the team for a while? Taking more time to recover than they thought, perhaps, or maybe just doing some solo training or something? Hmmmmmm.

Starting with getting stronger.

Wanted to touch upon this, too. Because it feels like that plotline has kind of... evaporated. Like there hasn't really been mention of it since Koa decided he needed to be more powerful and forget about strategy, and then he's been having some bad losses.

Although, now that I type it out, the thought occurred to me that maybe that's partly what this Iron Island arc is going to settle. Koa never really realized that his problems began when he decided he was strong enough to forgo strategizing. So maybe that's why he's been having battling and self-consciousness issues, and something happens on the island that makes him understand he needs to strategize again. Hmm.

"... attack at Snowpoint Temple."

Throw me a curveball. Tell me this is like... ho-oh or something. Ooooh, or latios/latias. That would be a fun twist.
(Me from 20 seconds later: it was not ho-oh or latios/latias. Oh well, suicune was always the most likely candidate given we got the other two beasts.)

A growl rumbled in Anubis' throat and he spat embers as his tail lashed back and forth.

"Yeah, me too," Koa said.

I feel compelled here to mention again how much I love little interactions like this. I'm really glad you didn't go the Talking Pokemon route. Little interactions like this feel so much more charming when the pairs can understand each other without literally understanding each other. It really goes go a long way towards making each pokemon feel like their own real character with real personalities.

Anubis took a half step forward, and the Orthworm's eyes shifted to him.

Orthworm is perfect for Iron Island. That's honestly a retcon I can get behind.

Koa blurted out the next move that came to his mind. "Ice Fang!" It only occurred a second later that maybe if he froze it he could get the upper hand.

As Rascal rushed forward, Orthworm opened its jaws, energy coalescing within. Indecision seized Koa but he barreled over it, quashing his instincts as well. Don't think, just act. "Don't stop!" Koa shouted.

Oh, huh. Maybe I was a bit hasty; Koa's still on his power trip.

Kitto gasped as he stared at it, the rainbow reflecting in his red eyes. He looked down slowly and made eye contact with Koa. "Is that... you saw Ho-Oh?"

Koa nodded, his cheeks hurting from grinning. He handed it off to Kitto as he recounted the sighting breathlessly. Even as he did, the words felt paltry compared to the memory of the great phoenix, soaring overhead, feathers shining like fire.

You know... it just occurred to me that, with ho-oh, we're specifically only seeing Johtoan legends. This could be easily overlooked since the beast trio are... well, a trio. But ho-oh as well, even though it has a connection to them, is it's own legend, too. I wonder if that's significant somehow. And what could those four have to do with Aether Paradise??

Koa nodded numbly, both angry at the thought but relieved to focus on a different problem. "Between Celestica, Amity and now Snowpoint... that's all three of them."

"And now Ho-Oh."

Koa's gut churned. "It's not a coincidence. Something is wrong."

"So what do you think Ho-Oh was doing here?" Kitto asked.

Me from 20 seconds later again: Oh, well, that confirms that, lol. Partly, at least.

"That's just it, this can't just be about making illusions or fakes. Whoever is doing this has to know what the result would be. If we assume the real beasts are here trying to chase the fakes..."

"Then whoever is doing this wants the beasts here on purpose," Koa said slowly, his eyes widening. He met Kitto's gaze, his horror reflected in them. His stomach churned and static buzzed in his ears. It was happening all over again. Someone using legendary pokemon. First Team Galactic, and now whoever was doing this.

That's an interesting theory. Assuming we're talking about Team Blackout... what could they want with Johtoan legends? And if it's not them, then... who else could it be??

He eventually entertained himself by inventing a story about traveling to another world and being turned into a pokemon who became a hero. Just after he'd settled on a Manectric as the pokemon he was most likely to turn into, he finally drifted into an uneasy sleep.

This must be the Blacklight reference you've mentioned, hah. I wonder if the rest of Koa's nightmare has any connection?

Alright, only three more chapters to go! Tomorrow is Sunday... should maybe be able to get through all three, and then I'll be able to add you to my list of people to demand further updates from!

 

[Seren]

Chapter 25 was a good one! It felt like more of a "downtime" chapter, but a lot of stuff happened anyway.

Spoiler: chapter 25 lines

Scrapper (Male Breloom) {Ability: Effect Spore}

No star on this chapter. Hm. Maybe the last chapter's was just a typo, or leftover from a copy/paste or something. I'd thought it was intended.

Echo tipped his head towards the far side of camp, and flicked his ears towards a tunnel Koa hadn't noticed before. Frowning, Koa pulled on his boots, grabbed his flashlight, then headed towards the tunnel, shining the flashlight ahead of him. The tunnel seemed to be another of many pokemon burrows he guessed, and sloped up at a slight incline.

This is interesting. Not only did none of Koa's other pokemon stop Scrapper from going into this cave alone in the middle of the night, none of them went with him to watch his back. And further, none of them come with Koa when he goes down there, too.

Before Koa could try to follow up, Kitto held up a hand. "Enough," he wheezed, annoyance coloring his tone. He doubled over, hands on his knees as he gulped for air.

Come on, Kitto. You've been waiting on Koa this whole time, and he gets in one hit and suddenly hes gone too far? Wimp. (/j tho, I totally get Koa's unintentionally aggressive here.)

Koa swallowed, fidgeting slightly. How much should he say? He tried to catch a glimpse of Kitto in his peripheral vision but his back was turned as he worked on packing his backpack. "Well actually... I need 8 badges to be allowed to climb Mt. Coronet. I've always wanted to try and reach the Spear Pillar." He studied Fossie's face for any kind of reaction. Strangely, Fossie's amiable expression had become a mask, and Koa couldn't read him at all.

Oh, yeah, here it is again. No league for Koa, he just wants to get to Spear Pillar. You had to have mentioned this early on then and I'd just forgotten. If only I'd kept reading, lol.

"You're kidding, right?" All the jovial friendliness had vanished from Fossie's expression, his jaw set and his eyes hard.

Uh oh. He's not going to like Koa being a legendary fan, is he?

(He was not.)

These arguments are rough. I totally get having a difference of opinion, but it always puzzles me how they end up leading to "we can't be friends". There's very few matters where that makes sense to me.

That said, this was written well! The arguments and counterpoints flowed back and forth, and neither of them were just repeating themselves or getting nasty. Felt bad for the pokemon caught up in their trainer's lack of civility, though...

Silence lingered, and he glanced toward Kitto from the corner of his eye, half expecting to see him look exasperated or annoyed. Instead he mostly seemed thoughtful. After several seconds, he met Koa's gaze, then spoke carefully. "I have no idea what's really going on with all this. But legendaries have been around for centuries, right? Wanting to do something good is good, but they can take care of themselves"

Ah Kitto, ever the wise, clear-headed one with all the braincells. I love him. He always seems to know what to say. Logical, grounded, calm, sees the bigger picture. He's a great foil to Koa.

Undeterred, he pressed on. "I studied all the different tracks of legendary pokemon. Zeraora is a legendary pokemon. Or well, mythical I guess? The distinction is weird but it's really rare and..." his brow furrowed. "...definitely not native to Iron Island."

"So... a mythical pokemon is on Iron Island?" Kitto said slowly.

Wait what? Well, this blows my "only Johto legends" thing out of the water.

Then again... Koa says zeraora usually roams Kanto and Johto, so... maybe not? There's still a link there, although I have no idea if this link is canon.

Koa smiled back. He had a feeling everything would be okay.

---

AN: It would not be okay.

And that's how you end a chapter! I agree, there did still seem to be more going on with Scrapper, and I'm glad that got resolved here! In a satisfying way, too.

Chapter 26. That's all, just Chapter 26.
(Hey I just figured out how to use emotes in messages lol)

Spoiler: Chapter 26 lines

Chapter 26! Koa has repaired his relationship with Scrapper, but more trouble awaits...

No team lineup in the opening at all this time now. Hm. Maybe they're at the end of the chapter. Maybe Koa catches something here and it's to avoid spoiling that?

...No that wouldn't make sense, it wouldn't be listed if it's not in his team yet.

(Me from the future: No team summary on either end of the chapter, this time. Probably just an oversight, unless we're just not going to do that from here on out.)

Another flash of lightning and clap of thunder shattered the air and Koa jumped. The rain abruptly shifted from 'friendly drizzle' to 'downpour'. Muttering angrily, he hastened his pace, though in a minute, he was already plenty soaked. Again, he thought wryly to himself. He really did have a knack for getting caught in rainstorms.

Still muttering, he picked his way through a slight valley between two hills, scanning the area for any caves he could duck into. And then there was another flash of lightning and all of his annoyance vanished in an instant as the light illuminated a figure standing just yards away.

Zeraora.

Oh, is that why it's been so frequently stormy while Koa's trying to train? Huh. Well, now maybe we'll get some answers.

Koa's heart thundered in his ears as rain soaked his hair. Taking the ball from his pocket; he primed it. Then he threw it.

The moment the pokeball left his hand, a pit of guilt and regret opened inside him.

....Oh. Oh no. Fake or real, Koa, what are you doing...

All alone, no pokemon on him, sneaking up on a legend, and trying to catch said legend with no backup. There's no way at all this could possibly go wrong!!

In slow motion, he watched the ball arc through the air. Lightning lit the sky like daylight. Zeraora turned, eyes glowing in the night, and caught the ball in one paw. Then it squeezed, shattering it effortlessly.

For one second, Koa met its eyes, and every hair on his body stood on end. Pure unbridled rage burned in its blue irises.

Nope, still all friends here!

"It attacked me because I tried to capture it, didn't it."

A soft churr and a single click. Yes.

*gasp* No. -pikashock-

Okay but this scene was spicy. Thank Arceus for Hazard. Doesn't really answer the question of why Zeraora was there, but I guess we'll get told that eventually. I do wonder also just how Hazard managed to convince Zeraora to back off.

"Delcatty got your tongue?" As Kitto stood and turned, his words faded as he took in Koa. "Lugia below, What happened to you?"

Random capitalization of "What" here. (Also lol @ Kitto's exclamation.)

I tried to catch a legendary when I shouldn't have when I should have battled and done it the right way? I...

*squints* Not sure if Koa just freaking out or if grammar error...

(This looks like possibly two sentences merged into one, or perhaps you changed what Koa was going to say and didn't delete it fully? Or maybe it's just showing Koa's brain being all folded over itself at the moment.)

A few minutes later, Koa found himself bound, his arms tied to his sides with rope and only his legs free. It was unnerving, he realized. And weirdly hard to balance.

Oh boy, no arms while climbing a mountain. What could possibly go wrong?! (Seriously what are you going to do to this poor boy here?)

Silence fell. Tension grew. Joan glared at Koa, and he glared back. "Fight me," she growled.

Koa stepped forward. "Gladly."

They're arguing about how to pronounce her home region. Sorry Koa, she lives there, she's probably right even though she's not.

Okay, so no whump came out of Koa being half tied up, I see... that said, I don't recall him getting un-tied anywhere?

An Aerodactyl hovered above it, pestering it with rocks while staying well out of reach of its claws, while an all too familiar Kabutops, Tyrantrum, and Arctozolt hemmed it in on all sides. Anger surged through Koa. Fossie.

Oh. This guy. Ganging up on Zeraora, too. I mean, I guess against a legend a one-on-one fight isn't likely going to result in a win, but this does seem unfair. Also Fossie must be really strong. (I know you've read TQftL by now, so you know how those legend battles went; Fossie seems to be able to handle a legend with only four pokemon here! Yikes. Wonder which of them spat out the toxic poison...)

"Precisely. Just over a year ago, it shifted. Rather abruptly, a string of pokemon abductions and poaching happened. At first, Sinnoh PD didn't even think it was the work of Team Blackout because that wasn't their usual target. But the MO matched and witness reports lined up. Thieves in all black, and using electric type pokemon." Avis paused for a moment. "Here's what's really weird. Almost all the pokemon taken in their initial strikes were fire-types."

Oh okay, wait. Zeraora is connected to both fire and electric types, given your lore. Blackout uses electric-types, but this here... this has to be some kind of significant clue. Blackout must want Zeraora for something, and somehow figure amassing fire-types will help them get to it. Hmmm...

Now that Avis had said it out loud, it seemed to click. "Yeah, maybe. Think about it, not long after taking a bunch of fire-types, something resembling Entei appears and sets fire to one of Sinnoh's biggest destinations. Then electric-types, and Celestic Ruins are supposedly destroyed by Raikou?" Koa's heart beat a little faster. "I thought this was about luring the beasts here but... What if Team Blackout is trying to take attention away from themselves? I mean, setting up a bunch of fake legendary attacks would be a good distraction, wouldn't it?"

HMMMMMM. I figured since Blackout uses electric-types, that one makes sense. And fire is kind of like... a related cousin, I guess. Hot, burning feeling, etc. So that made sense. But... calling it now, they're going after water-types ne-

WAIT FUCK ME they did go after water types already! The psyduck eggs! They've already set their fake suicune in motion!

And on top of that, it sounds like Blackout might not actually be the villains here. Like, villains, obviously, but not the Big Bad pulling their strings.

Ooooh, this is getting juicy.

Chapter 27 did not disappoint, oh my god. Probably my favorite chapter in the fic, tbh.

I see now why this arc was so difficult for you to write. Koa's first true encounter with a legendary was something that you put a great deal of care into crafting. That, plus the epic all-out free-for-all battle at the end of this chapter surely must have taken a lot of planning. But it was well worth it!

Spoiler: Chapter 27 lines

Echo (Male Crobat)

Hazard (Male Joltik)

Rascal (Female Tyrunt)

Anubis (Male Houndoom)

Scrapper (Male Breloom)

Forgot about Flurry?!

And I see we've removed the abilities again.

Finally, the penultimate chapter of this arc! Without further ado, I present Iron Chains. In which things take a 'shocking' turn and danger is just around the corner...

'Shocking" in quotes. In a chapter title involving chains.

I think I'm really gonna like this one.

Every single pokemon was some kind of electric type - Plusle, Pikachu, Luxio and more. Many of the pokemon appeared poorly kept as well, weak or injured in some way. His heart dropped. Was this the fate that had awaited Hazard? Where had they even gotten this many? Forget that, what were they planning on doing?

Huh, interesting. Still going after electric types... or perhaps they'd already had these ones. Regardless, seems they've been using Iron Island as a sort of base of operations. Can't imagine why else they'd have the cages stored here rather than on their boat, but obviously none of these pokemon live on the island, so they've been brought and stored here.

"They have Zeraora and a bunch of electric pokemon there was something going on on the island,

Should be a comma after "electric pokemon".

Flashes of light lit the cavern as more pokemon were released from their pokeballs - Drapion, Toxicroak, Gastrodon, Weavile. To Koa's dismay, Silas wasted no time hurrying to the side of Minerva to release her pokemon as well. A massive Purugly was quickly joined by a Toxicroak and a Jolteon as well as a Gliscor. Koa's heart started racing. They were outnumbered, too many pokemon—

This entire battle was, honestly, fantastic. These kinds of chaotic melee battles are my favorites, ones where the trainer can only do so much and the pokemon have to pretty much handle themselves.

I highlighted this detail in particular because I thought it stood out; having the other grunts/leader going and releasing the rest of the team's pokemon to join the fight, despite their actual trainer being out of commission, was really clever and added a bunch to the tension.

Through his fingers, he saw Rascal's shining shape began to morph and grow, every part of her body growing larger, bigger, stronger, her proportions evening out and a crest forming on her skull.

Honestly? When Flurry attacked the rhyperior, I thought she would be the one to evolve here, not Rascal! But hell yeah, about time! I love that she single-handedly turned the battle in their favor, too.

Also, writing an all out brawl was an absolute delight! I hope it felt as fun to read as it was to write (even if I did spend ages banging my head on a wall over it). Was inspired quite a lot by the fic 'Legendarian Chronicles' by Chibipika, which also features awesome and epic big scale battles. Its a stellar fic, I highly recommend it, as well as Of Sand and Shadows by helloyellow17, which features lots of gritty brawl battles that are very excellent, very recommend. Also, orre.

Yeah, it absolutely was a delight! You fucking nailed this, dude.

And with that, I AM CAUGHT UP!
Actually... you mentioned that there was going to be a different POV special chapter up the week after 27? This was back in May and it doesn't look like this was posted here, unless you gave it it's own thread?

Anyway, this was a wild ride from start to... well, present, and I'm looking forward to seeing how Koa's Iron Island trip snaps him out of his power-trip fantasy!

 

[Flyg0n]

Remember how I promised I'd post that special POV after the iron island arc and then never posted anything... oops. Anyways, it was written but I wanted to try and polish it, plus I got busy.

Without further ado, I present to you...

Iron Will​

---

Keep moving... I will not fail.

Zeraora drew another slow, shuddering breath, despising how his chest trembled. Snarling quietly, he moved one leaden paw after the other over the rocky terrain. The sky and hills in the distance swam and distorted unnaturally. He'd made it far after leaving those foolish humans, but he still had a mission to fulfill here. Accursed, wretched humans.

If not for the law he abided by, he'd gladly cut their throats and rend them limb from limb... He pressed onward, his thoughts drifting to the previous night.

[He sought to ambush and capture me, to steal me away without even the honor of combat, and you would plead for his life?]

[Please. He is not your enemy; he made a mistake. He's a good trainer, and a good human.]

[Mistakes have costs.]

[Then take my spark, my electricity, in his stead.]

He could see no deception, no signs of manipulation in that little Joltik's eyes. In that moment, the Joltik would have willingly given up the very essence of its power to save its master, so confident it was. It could have offered its life, and he'd seen plenty of pokemon who would die for stupid humans, so loyal were they. But this Joltik would give its own electricity, its inner spark.

Fine then. But he still had a responsibility on this island, and he didn't need some idiotic human interfering.

"One."

He relished the fear he saw in the human.

"One mercy. Stay away, human."

He gasped as one of his legs gave out and he fell to his knees, grabbing the earth to steady himself. A fresh burning pain pulsed through his arm and he hissed. His gaze settled upon the toxic wound. Purple poison oozed from it and he snarled. A lucky shot from that boy's bladed fossil. Nothing he wouldn't eventually shake off, but with each passing moment, more and more of his strength left him. Strength he couldn't afford to lose.

The ground beneath his paws swayed and he closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to take a steady breath. No weakness. Don't give in. Pokemon were counting on him. Even now, he could sense it, just barely. Somewhere on this island, a mass of electric aura. He was sure it was the stolen pokemon, he just needed to find them.

Failure wasn't an option.

XXX

"I will go." Zeraora stepped forward, meeting Raikou's gaze.

Raikou shook his head. "You will do no such thing. I cannot permit you to go in my stead."

"Raikou, please. To go by yourself is foolish! At least let me scout the island! Protecting pokemon is as much my duty as yours." He bowed his head to Raikou. "Let me help."

"I gave my answer. Heed it." Raikou started to turn and walk away.

Impatience and frustration coursed through Zeraora and he fired a weak blue bolt at Raikou. [No].

A snarl like thunder came from Raikou and he whirled around, slamming a paw against the earth, thunder backing him. "I am Lightning Incarnate! You will not defy me!"

Tilting his head up, Zeraora stepped up to Raikou, meeting his gaze snout to snout. "And when you suffer the same fate as Fire Incarnate? Am I only to act then? To take action after we lose you?"

The snarl in Raikou's throat built as electricity flared through his mane. His eyes sparked and he opened his jaws, letting out a mighty roar of anger and grief. Zeraora glared back, unflinching and defiant, then returned with a mighty yowl of his own. The air itself crackled with fury as their cries blended.

Raikou's cry faded first and moments later, Zeraora fell quiet as well. Bowing his head low; Raikou exhaled slowly. The crackling sensation in the air faded. Zeraora allowed himself to relax as well, the tension slipping from his shoulders. He leaned close, pressing his head against Raikou's; sharing for a moment in the quiet buzz of electricity pulsing between them.

[I don't want to lose you, Little Spark.]

[I know. But we must act.]

Raikou stepped back to meet Zeraora's gaze. "Very well. You may go. But you must also remember our laws. And until we know what has become of Entei, you must practice utmost caution."

He huffed and gave a derisive snort. "Very well."

"Then go. You have my blessing."

He dropped to one knee and bowed. "Thank you. I will not fail you."

XXX

Snarling, Zeraora slammed an electrified paw into the ground before shoving himself upright again, ignoring his shaking limbs. His eyes roved the hillside until he spotted a cave, half tucked behind some rocks, and started towards it. His arm throbbed with every step, and more than once some insignificant pebble or dip in the earth nearly tripped him.

Somehow the warmth of the sun, which he normally enjoyed, felt overbearing. His own fur now trapped him, suffocating and smothering him in heat. Finally, he dragged himself up the slope and into the cool darkness within the cave. He staggered into the small chamber, catching himself against a stalagmite. Rest... he needed to rest. If he could close his eyes just for a moment—

A loud exclamation from a human sounded from his right and he whipped around, snarling. All pretense of rest left him as his eyes swept across the darkness. In his mind's eye, he saw the blue haired boy who'd thrown the pokeball just the night before. The same boy who had inexplicably driven off the swarm of ancient pokemon from the other trainer... Had one returned?

Instead, he saw a human dressed head to toe in black, with an Electabuzz.

The human whipped out an electronic device and shouted into it. "There's a Arceus damned Zeraora here, send backup!" She jammed the device back onto her belt. "Electabuzz, distract it!"

Electabuzz spun its arms and started to move forward.

Zeraora summoned lightning, sparks crackling through his fur as he locked gazes with Electabuzz. He snarled and spat a string of what humans would probably call swears, but among pokemon was closer to a literal curse. Electabuzz froze, the fight in its eyes dying out as it bowed its head, cowering back.

"Thought so."

The human woman glared at Electabuzz but quickly grabbed two more pokeballs from her belt. Light flashed through the cavern and faded to reveal a Golem and an Excadrill. They sported twin leering grins. Zeraora dropped into a battle stance and hissed.

"Know your place, mortals. I have no quarrel with you. But if you challenge me I make no promise to spare you."

"Spare us from what, little kitty?" Golem growled.

And then, at a barked command from the woman, they attacked. Zeraora surged forward, claws outstretched. His electricity was useless here, which meant a melee. A melee he could not easily afford. He needed to distract and escape.

He bowled over the Golem with a single punch, before slashing the Excadrill's arm in a blur of movement. Excadrill staggered back and howled as Golem struggled to stand.

Keep going... I will not fail.

The air crackled and Zeraora gathered electricity in his legs, then exploded in the opposite direction, towards a tunnel that led deeper into the cavern. Zigzagging through them like lightning, he broke out a moment later into a sub chamber, much deeper in. Immediately, every hair on his body stood on end and his spine tingled.

The electric pokem-!

WHAM

Breath left Zeraora's lungs. Something smashed into his side hard, launching him across the cavern. The crack of his body connecting with the opposite wall filled his ears. He collapsed, gasping, darkness dancing around his vision.

It took all his effort simply to lift his head and look up. Across the room he could see an Onix looming by the tunnel he'd come out of.

"Don't let it get away!"

Now Zeraora could take in the room, he could see several humans, along with a small group of pokemon. Ground-types, but several other sorts too - Weavile and Purugly and Toxicroak. Past them he spotted a human boat and far to one side, several boxes covered by a tarp. Just looking in that direction sent a tingle down his spine. The missing pokemon?

Zeraora's gaze roved back to the assembled pokemon. They now blocked the entrance he'd come from. No matter. He'd found what he sought.

"Trapped," growled the Onix.

The other pokemon shifted into battle stances.

Zeraora narrowed his gaze as he took in the various assembled pokemon. His lip curled as he snarled. "I'm not the one who's trapped."

Eight pokemon. Onix, Golem, Weavile, Rapidash, Purugly, Gastrodon, Toxicroak and a Hippowdon. He could defeat them. Weavile first, it was fast. Knockout Onix before it could strike. Then toss Golem into Gastrodon. Get rid of the ground-types. And then eliminate anything still standing.

I will not fail.

His lungs burned as he tore forward, calling on every ounce of lightning within him to give him strength and speed. Weavile lunged first and he danced and sidestepped to avoid its strikes before kicking it across the cavern and sending it into the water. Keeping his momentum, he spun and lunged upwards, smashing Onix with a devastating uppercut. Its agonized roar was music to his ears.

Keep going...

He dropped to the ground, landing on all fours. Before the other pokemon could even strike, he gathered himself and leapt for the Golem. Energy formed around his fist and he threw his whole weight into it, knocking the rock type into the Gastrodon and KOing both pokemon. He didn't even wait to see if they rose again, instead turning his sights on Rapidash. Springing forwards, he summoned a sphere of electricity in his paw.

Light flashed behind him. A roar shook the cavern and a spire of stone erupted from the earth directly before him. He crashed into it full force, pain exploding across his muzzle as he fell. The ground rumbled and before he could rise, a second spike shot into his chest. He gasped and coughed, desperately sucking in air. His shoulder bore the brunt of the impact as he landed on his side. Darkness flared and he fought it back with every ounce of will left in his body.

Craning his head, he saw a behemoth of a Rhyperior just yards behind him.

I will not fail.

He pushed himself to his feet, his limbs shaking.

Behind him, Rapidash neighed and galloped forward, body cloaked in flame. He leapt to the side. Too slow. His body failed him. Rapidash's charge caught him, sending him spinning. He landed on three paws and fired a bolt of lightning that knocked Rapidash off its hooves and into a stalagmite. It didn't try to rise.

Rhyperior's roar echoed through the cavern and he saw it pound the earth from the corner of his eye. Instinct saved Zeraora as he threw himself backward, a chunk of stone slamming down where he'd been a moment ago. Rhyperior needed to go. Dropping to all fours, he hissed and charged.

At a command from its trainer, Rhyperior slammed its fists together. Sand began to gather around it, swirling and expanding into a whirling mini-storm. Charging his fists with energy, Zeraora plowed through and delivered a flurry of blows to Rhyperior before it could muster any defense. It gave a rumbling cry before collapsing, the half-formed sandstorm dissipating before it could take hold.

I will not fail.

Then he whirled back around. Just in time to see the white light of a hyper beam shooting towards his face. Stars exploded across his vision. Dimly he realized he'd smashed into the wall but he barely felt it any more. On autopilot, he forced his body up as he swayed unsteadily side to side. Doubles of every pokemon in the room surrounded him. Except the doubles kept pulsing in and out of existence.

I will not fail.

The burning sensation in his arm faded to a distant throbbing and he realized he didn't ... couldn't really feel anything. Only his heartbeat, slow and steady. His own haggard breathing filled his ears. He reached for the reserves of energy inside him and realized only a small spark remained.

I will not fail.

The spark exploded and he threw his head back and yowled. Blinding light and deafening thunder exploded inside the cavern as a bolt of lightning crackled through the air, striking all the remaining pokemon. Seconds later they lay in a smoking heap, unconscious.

A smirk worked its way across Zeraora's muzzle even as he struggled to keep himself upright.

BANG

Something splattered against Zeraora's side. In a daze, he looked down to see a thick, glue-like substance coating his legs and right side. Before he could react, it had hardened. His eyes widened as he tried to move, only to realize that his legs were now cemented to the floor. A yowl of rage escaped him as he looked up to see one of the humans holding a weapon.

Then a blast of mud struck his chest, drenching him. The spark of electricity he'd drawn on before flickered, then faded. Another light flashed and another pokemon emerged from a pokeball. A Golurk. With slow, lumbering steps it moved forward. It raised its fist, a swirling mass of energy forming at the end.

Zeraora glared up at it silently.

It stared back, impassive.

I will not fail.

A snarl built in his raw throat again even as his vision darkened.

I will not—

Golurk fired.

XXX

Water, all around. Chains. He thrashed uselessly, knowing he was wasting air but not caring. Struggling was better than accepting death. Yveltal would come for his spirit soon regardless.

He hoped Raikou would forgive him.

Instinct took over and he jerked again, in vain. The chains remained tight. Not much longer now... Would anyone come for the stolen pokemon? Raikou would chase them, but Entei still remained missing, and Suicune had not found him.

You failed...

And then he heard it. A splash from above. Twisting in his chains, he looked upward and could just make out a shape in the water... a human. The blue-haired one. Koamaru, as the little Joltik had called him that fateful night.

Swimming down to him. He'd attacked the child and yet it persisted... It reached him and began pulling at the chains, only to quickly realize the truth. They were too secure, too thick to break. The boy waved frantically, then pulled something from his jacket pocket.

A pokeball.

Anger crackled in Zeraora. With a hiss he lunged for the child but moved only an inch. The child glared back, this time with a raw determination Zeraora had not seen before. A fearless sense of ironclad purpose. A promise.

Let me help.

His lips curled in a growl and he glared back with all the anger he could muster. Darkness swirled at the edges of his vision and his chest burned. The child seized the chain around his neck and yanked him close, nose to nose.

Zeraora gazed right into the child's amber eyes, his own fear and determination reflected back at him. Whatever scraps of strength that remained in his limbs began to ebb.

I will not fail. He'd promised. He could still see the pokeball in the child's hand. No matter the cost.

Before Yveltal could take him, he nodded.

---

Writing Zeraora here was really fun! It came to me kind of unexpectedly, on a whim, as I was picturing how things felt from his POV and what he was struggling with. I really like to think of Zeraora as a mythical who is al about the wild pokemon in particular, or at the very least, pokemon before humans.

He came looking for a bunch of missing electric types in the stead of Raikou, since Entei seems(?) to be missing. yet all of a sudden some random boy tries to capture him. Needless to say he wasn't fond of that.

Also maybe I just wanted some (more) whump okay

 

[Seren]

Ooooh, Zeraora's point of view! We get it talking with the actual Raikou, too! I can't find the line now to quote it, but interesting to note that Zeraora mentions "losing" Fire Incarnate (Entei), so... either this discussion happens before the Celestic ruins attack, or something else has happened to Entei in the meantime since we last saw it in Amity.

Now Zeraora could take in the room, he could see several humans, along with a small group of pokemon. Ground-types, but several other sorts too - Weavile and Purugly and Toxicroak. Past them he spotted a human boat and far to one side, several boxes covered by a tarp. Just looking in that direction sent a tingle down his spine. The missing pokemon?

Reading this line, something only just occurred to me now. Purugly and toxicroak (and weavile, I guess?) are Team Galactic pokemon. And Koa found something with their logo on it in a previous chapter, in this cave. So this tells me that either they're not gone entirely (maybe they're the ones behind Blackout??), or they've joined ranks with Blackout to form... well, Team Blackout. The new team.

I have no idea what this could mean, but something tells me it's significant.

Anyway, this was a fun detour! It answered the Hazard conversation, and got to show off some more legendary power, crushing a bunch of other pokemon! More multi battle action is always a good thing. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Flyg0n]

Team Galactic pokemon. And Koa found something with their logo on it in a previous chapter, in this cave. So this tells me that either they're not gone entirely (maybe they're the ones behind Blackout??), or they've joined ranks with Blackout to form... well, Team Blackout. The new team.

Its so long ago but actually Avis mentioned in like chapter 2, when he first meets her I think, that Blackout is formed in part by leftover grunts from Blackout

 

[Nekodatta]

I read the first two chapters and am really loving this story already!
I really like how you made Koa's dream of catching a legendary something that is frowned upon in society "thanks" to all the evil teams that have been messing around the regions, it already establishes some conflict and makes it interesting to see how and if he will prove people wrong! I also really liked all the little bits of worldbuilding sprinkled in these two chapters.
From the scene with the other trainers before the license exam he seems to know more about Team Galactic than the common citizen, which with the mention (or lack thereof ) of parents makes me wonder... Did he have family members directly involved in the Team some ten years ago? Curious to see how that will go, together with the poachers...

What I really want to talk about are the two Pokémon on his team. I have to admit I feel a bit bad for Zubat right now, Koa is subconsciously trying to avoid thinking of him as part of his "Perfect Team" by not even giving him a nickname while giving one to Hazard immediately... But I'm sure he will change his mind and am curious to see the two grow close! Koa has a lot of learning and growing to do. The Zubat looks pretty attached to him already, my heart kind of melted when it fearlessly threw itself at the Golem to protect him.
Joltik is one of my favourite gen V Pokémon, Electroweb is just so cool as a concept and a lot of fun to play around with, so I'm happy to see him as part of the team!

 

[Flyg0n]

Lonk reply for seren to roundup reviews (shoot I have so many to do)....

Spoiler

LOL I love Koa just flat-out punching the Blackout guy! This line never gets old. Best scene in the entire fic so far!

My biggest pet peeve with later anime was the way Ash didn't throw hands with villains as much, but you really should sometimes?? You gotta fight for friends, I'm not letting anyone steal my pokemon lol

Something else I'm enjoying so far is how you're actually including these lesser-seen areas of the games and doing something with them. One would expect Hearthome to feature the gym and contest hall, but the poffin house certainly isn't one I've seen utilized before! Also Wyatt's clefairy reminds me of that one Pokemon Stadium minigame, haha. All she needs is some glasses!

Oh, hm. Reading someone stealing Clefairy, I feel like I've actually read this part before? Did I just not post my review last time? I do vaguely recall Team Blackout... A search only came up with one post from me, so if for some reason I missed it, now you get two.

I actually based it on uh... I think the game corner clefairy? or something, idr now hah, I just remember a Clefairy counting something off.... man I can't find it now...

I'm so glad Amity Park was re-opened as a playground for all pokemon! It's a cute concept.

My fury at the idea of only being able to walk around with certain pokemon is unfathomable. (Im sure this was just to limit spritework in early DP but still)

Oh no, you have a Wyatt too! I forget how far you'd gotten into SS but eventually I have a Wyatt turn up, too. I appreciate seeing uncommon names used! At least yours is not a little snot like mine is!

Wyatt 🤝

I'm going to shoot in the dark and say azumarill! (I'm actually fairly certain this is not what it hatches into but that's what comes to mind when seeing the egg's description.)

This is a great guess and I think I actually was almost going to do this except I was like, at the time of writing this chapter ages ago I was like,, hold up the 1st stage is blue-only. So i think when I gave him the egg I ended up changing it at the time of writing? I almost want to say someone pointed this out and I frantically searched for a blue spotted pokemon and found Spheal.

Also my least favorite route in the game coming up, stupid marsh. (Although... it does give me whump ideas... you like drowning, right? lol )

Not doing this is criminal on my part, but maybe I still can work it in later...

Noctowl is my favorite regional bird, glad to see it getting some spotlight! Also, Avis has a staraptor... is she a flying-type specialist? I don't actually remember

Nah I just like Noctowl and birds so she gets two

And then the second half, the battle with Kitto - this is another fun fight, and one that has proper story implications; it's clear you enjoyed writing this one a lot! (And, given the impression I have from various storycrafter questions and the like that Kitto is almost like a secondary MC, I'm not surprised that you were excited to get to this point.)

Fun fact! Kitto was not planned to be a secondary MC at the time of writing this. This fight and the following content and reader response made me really like him and bring him back, he was just gonna be kind of a one off side character. A friend of mine gave me a lot of inspiration for the character and fighting style and even battle choreography so I can't even take full credit there.

And boy does he curb-stomp her! I got the feeling through most of the last few chapters that you Koa just had it out for Fantina, and I see that was proven right!

Me???? have it out for fantina??? and let that show through in my writing via obvious bias? I would never!!

This is an interesting note; other than Kanto, I don't recall there being actual guards/checkpoints in between routes and cities! I'm curious for your reasoning behind this. I'm not trying to doubt it or anything, I do rather like the idea, but I'm curious why you've opted to go this route, because I personally have not. I hadn't considered it important!

* sweats * I don't remember I think I just liked it? Also probablya holdover from the very earliest version of LA that was more edge/grounded and serious. We'll pretend its due to stuff like Galactic.

Which makes me wonder, will Fantina just automatically get it back or does she actually have to like, re-do the entire process?

Probably it won't be automatic, she'd have to actually reapply, but I think if she proved an earnest interest in it she could easily enough get it back.

I enjoy this mutual understanding Koa and Deuce come to here, that both their battle styles have merit. There does tend to be a divide between the casual and competitive halves of the community.

ty! originally I was gonna have Koa just roast them and show off how awesome friendship is but then I was like, sheesh thats rude and unuanced (and it felt bad to write), and I realized it was way more fun to make competitive battling its own respectable style and have mutual appreciation instead.

One thing that stands out to me here though is... what is Mirage Technology? I don't recall it being mentioned in the fic at all to this point, and... the only thing I can think of is like, Hoenn's mirage island? So it's something that basically creates images or illusions of pokemon, specifically legendaries, I assume, but... idk, I feel this should be mentioned somewhere if it's important.

So uh, this is just a one off reference to like, this mirage tech episode thing https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/The_Mastermind_of_Mirage_Pokémon

It's actually meant only for the sake of any readers who saw that special and thought 'oh this is mirage tech' and meant to say 'no its probably not'. It'll get briefly mentioned possibly in a future chapter again but the idea is that this level of mirage technology wouldn't have the power still that Koa saw displayed. So, ultimately, kind of unimportant unless you saw the special, hah

Also wow I clearly don't remember that special as well as i thought.... I have to rewatch it...

This is interesting. Not only did none of Koa's other pokemon stop Scrapper from going into this cave alone in the middle of the night, none of them went with him to watch his back. And further, none of them come with Koa when he goes down there, too.

Yeah Scrapper just needed space and as far as they know the island isn't super dangerous, he's just taking a walk

These arguments are rough. I totally get having a difference of opinion, but it always puzzles me how they end up leading to "we can't be friends". There's very few matters where that makes sense to me.

That said, this was written well! The arguments and counterpoints flowed back and forth, and neither of them were just repeating themselves or getting nasty. Felt bad for the pokemon caught up in their trainer's lack of civility, though...

because Koa is stubborn and Fossie is close minded Well, I do hope I can use this brat in future chapters so time will tell what happens.
Glad the argument flowed nicely, i noodled over a good bit.

Then again... Koa says zeraora usually roams Kanto and Johto, so... maybe not? There's still a link there, although I have no idea if this link is canon.

Yeah for the purposes of my fic, it can be considered canon that Zeraora is somehow tied to the birds/beasts, at least loosely, and that the legend about being born from lightning striking a volcano is at least somewhat true (Entei/Moltres being tied to volcanos and Raikou Zapdos to lightning

(This looks like possibly two sentences merged into one, or perhaps you changed what Koa was going to say and didn't delete it fully? Or maybe it's just showing Koa's brain being all folded over itself at the moment.)

Yeah this bit of dialogue is meant to represent him basically completely stumbling over himself

They're arguing about how to pronounce her home region.

Not her home by birth, she moved there so she could be wrong! we may never know...

(I know you've read TQftL by now, so you know how those legend battles went; Fossie seems to be able to handle a legend with only four pokemon here! Yikes. Wonder which of them spat out the toxic poison...)

So this is probably not knowable by the text but the idea I forgot to imply was that two of Fossie's pokemon were already taken down, these are his remaining 4 (also 8 badge+ level though)

Chapter 27 did not disappoint, oh my god. Probably my favorite chapter in the fic, tbh.

I see now why this arc was so difficult for you to write. Koa's first true encounter with a legendary was something that you put a great deal of care into crafting. That, plus the epic all-out free-for-all battle at the end of this chapter surely must have taken a lot of planning. But it was well worth it!

oh thank goodness, I spent 2 years on this stupid thing so it had better be that good ssshheeeeeesssshhh

Yeah, it absolutely was a delight! You fucking nailed this, dude.

😭😭😭😭 AHHHH TYYYYY this is so validating to hear

Reading this line, something only just occurred to me now. Purugly and toxicroak (and weavile, I guess?) are Team Galactic pokemon. And Koa found something with their logo on it in a previous chapter, in this cave. So this tells me that either they're not gone entirely (maybe they're the ones behind Blackout??), or they've joined ranks with Blackout to form... well, Team Blackout. The new team.

Good observation!!! there's absolutely no way to remember this detail but Avis mentions that Blackout is part remnant Galactic grunts but nontheless, that type of observation is still relevant in a way...

Ooooh, Zeraora's point of view! We get it talking with the actual Raikou, too! I can't find the line now to quote it, but interesting to note that Zeraora mentions "losing" Fire Incarnate (Entei), so... either this discussion happens before the Celestic ruins attack, or something else has happened to Entei in the meantime since we last saw it in Amity.

probably will tweak this but yeah, this convo is meant to take place like, just a little bit before everything happens on iron island actually... so after Celestic, just before 23/24ish?

Thank you again for reading, so delighted you've enjoyed yourself!!

 

[Nekodatta]

I've read another couple of chapters!

So in Chapter 3 we have Koa's first gym battle, and here again he pretty much does not even consider Zubat part of the team at first. I like that he went a bit back and forth with his opinion on him, from finding the Zubat cute and admiring his tenacity to still being determined to release him... Thankfully it seems like he saw that he was being unfair to him. Echo is a cool nickname, I like it!
Gardenia as the next gym should give Echo (and really both of them) the opportunity to shine and maybe give them all a boost of confidence to challenge Roark again!

Chapter 4
First thing first, I keep forgetting that Leech Life changed in Gen VII so seeing Zubat with Absorb instead still trips me up lol

"Fair enough," she said with a shrug. "He gets punched in the face a lot honestly."

Ok this made me laugh.
I admit I didn't expect Echo to evolve so soon! It makes sense, it does evolve pretty fast in the games, and they trained quite a lot, but I was expecting a bit more time with him as a Zubat.

At least he wouldn't have to worry about his Zubat being poisoned.

Typo, or is it intentional to show that Koa is not used to Echo's new form?
I enjoyed the gym challenge, there was some nice and creative use of moves and unconventional strategies, which I always approve. I really liked the Turtwig and Cherubi subverting expectations by being pretty agile and fast!
Also, I like how you used the fact that Zubat has no eyes to make Echo quickly adapt to being blinded. It makes sense, he lived his whole life without sight, he really shouldn't be affected by Flash ahah.
I actually always wondered what it was like for Pokémon that don't have a certain sense/limb to suddenly gain one after evolving, especially one as predominant as sight. I could imagine it being pretty potentially overwhelming, but I guess we can chalk it up to Pokémon magic. It would be pretty interesting to see though, for example a newly evolved Dugtrio actually being somewhat weaker/vulnerable after evolving because the three heads/units have to still learn how to cooperate...
Something tells me he's not going to get that Tyrogue lol

 

[Junebug44]

Chapters 1-3 Review! (mainly 2-3 cuz I messaged you chapter 1 in DMs lol)

After traveling for a few hours along the lakefront, he reached the beginning of Route 201. He let out a sigh of relief. From here it would be easy. A long, packed dirt path wound through sparse woods ahead. He glanced at his Poketch. Almost noon. Which meant he could be in Sandgem by evening.

Wow that's hours to get to Sangem. I like that you've extended the region out, though. That means journeys like the one in route 212 are gonna be nice a long :D

"Are you saying you want to come with me?"

The Joltik nodded, its eyes gleaming.

LETS GOOO I love joltik! I'm glad you're really leaning on the idea of making supposedly weak pokemon have their moments.

Koa grimaced at the mere mention of the name again. Just thinking about them reminded him of the atrocities they'd committed, the way they'd destroyed the harmony between people and legendaries— He pushed the thoughts down. At least, they'd been thwarted before they could do real damage. Or at least, physical damage. Besides, those details weren't exactly public knowledge.

I wonder if Koa has any personal connection to team Galactic. I understand they're preventing him from reaching his legendaries to some extent, but it seems to go deeper than that. Maybe something related to why his parents aren't in the picture...

A burst of sticky web shot from Hazard's pincers, wrapping around Starly's body and one of its wings. It fluttered its remaining wing furiously. Hazard jerked it to the ground.

Ok thank you for taking the creative liberty to have moves do what you want them to. I'm not a huge fan when they do exactly what it says in the move description.

Hazard chittered loudly and nodded towards Zubat. His gaze bore into Koa accusingly, and sparks danced across his fur.

Hazard is the real homie. Cmon Koa wake up.

His dreams were filled with legendaries and thoughts of climbing Mt. Coronet, only to be greeted by a giant Zubat instead of a legendary.

LMAO bro this Koa guy really can't stand this zubat, huh?

"Dig," Roark said, his voice confident.

Well Mr. Confident, you just used dig (ground type move) against a Zubat (flying type) (i am kidding ik you probably took creative liberties which like i said I appreciate)

Not yet anyway, he thought jokingly.

HUHHHH is Koa gonna be evil one day wtf

Without hesitation, Zubat shrieked happily. He flew into the air, doing a little loop before landing on Koa's head.

AWWWW this is so cute, looks like Koa finally came to. I'm glad you made this entire character arc multiple chapters, it really makes the final moment so much more satisfying

Let's gooo I finally started Legendary Adventures! I'm so excited to read this fic, I've heard so many good things. Right away I love Koa and his legendary dream, but I'm glad you made him a dynamic character to acknowledge his flaws (yelling at Roark, disregarding warnings, being stubborn with Zubat, etc). I love journeyfics with a twist, and I already see that you decided to take him to Eterna without him even beating Roark! That's pretty interesting and I'm excited to see where he goes next :D

 

[Joshthewriter]

"Go Zubat," he muttered.

Lol, I see Koa’s still just overjoyed at having caught his starter.

Despite Zubat's triumph, he couldn't find it in himself to be impressed, not when Zubat had the type advantage.

I mean… it’s still a tiny bat fighting a muscle man. It’s at least a little bit impressive, isn’t it?

Green boulder?

I always pictured golem as an actual boulder. Not saying that they couldn’t be green, but it’s not the default I think of when I think of them.

"Zubat!" Koa yelled.

I love that while Koa’s not happy he caught a zubat, he’s still making sure that his pokemon is ok.

Silly bat!

I sense that this may be a recurring bit. I love little recurring blurbs and sentences like this!

Plus, he still had the Plan

Because those always go perfectly, right?

Leave it alone!" Koa shouted.

Koa… has some cojones. He’s brave as hell (or a little bit reckless).

The Joltik nodded, its eyes gleaming.

Idk why, but I didn’t expect him to pick up hazard already? Seems real quick to pick up a second team member already.

The deed was done. Besides, he might never have found the Jaw fossil if he hadn't gone exploring. Or met Hazard.

Ah, so you’re starting to like your unorthodox little team, eh? Wonder when that zubat‘s gonna grow on you enough to be a part of that.

All in all, much faster paced chapter than the first. I like that while yeah, you’re going through the “early journey” stuff that I normally am kinda bored by, you’re not falling into that “absolutely nothing is happening“ trap that I’ve talked about. I’m a little surprised that he’s picking up team members so quick, but I suppose it gives us more time with them so I can’t complain.

 

[Joshthewriter]

A Starly landed before him and shrieked a challenge. Koa quietly took a pokeball from his belt. The opportunity was too good to pass up.

Yeah, you ain’t catching that.

You already have a flying type. You should train him.

One who seems pretty damn loyal and affectionate to be honest as well.

He just wanted to catch the right one. Yeah! That was all. And when he did, he would release Zubat.

No you won’t.

the atrocities committed by Team Galactic,

I really really really want to know more about whatever happened with Galactic. I have a feeling it’s going to be importent

Terrifying tales of specters and visions assaulting the brave souls who tried to ascend to the peak.

Well that sounds horrific. What the hell did Giratina do up there?

His dreams were filled with legendaries and thoughts of climbing Mt. Coronet, only to be greeted by a giant Zubat instead of a legendary.

Lol that sounds like a hilarious sight tbh. I love that Koa’s dreams are as ridiculous as actual dreams are.

He saw himself climbing the mountain, reaching Spear Pillar and meeting Sinnoh's guardian deities.

100% he’s climbing that mountain.

he'd always known he would have to take on the gym circuit eventually.

Was he not planning on challenging the circuit until he’d finished his team? That seems… like maybe not a fantastic idea. Why wouldn’t he be doing them at the same time?

Hmm. Koamaru, isn't it?

I mean, I’d probably remember his name too. And the fact that he’s got blue hair too. But y’know, this is anime seeming world and coloured hair seems more common.

"I'm ready. I want this badge."

I really really don’t think you’re getting it.

He could have sworn Roark used to use only two

Nice touch with the reference to Roark’s roster change. It’s something I would have done.

doubly effective Absorb attacks

Small quibble, wouldn’t it be 4X effective?

He'd probably have better odds, too.

I mean… maybe? But I don’t think he stands much of a chance either way.

Onix's boulder smashed into him

Journey-Verse would have had some smushed Echo-Jelly right here. I see (and I think you went into it on discord) that injuries are handled a lot differently than I do.

He needed a strong team.

Crobat is pretty strong, eh?

After she had gone, he took out the battery pack he'd bought in Jubilife, allowing Hazard to recharge himself. The device had cost him a pretty penny, but it was worth it.

This little device got me thinking (I love little worldbuilding lore). How does he charge it? Would it be solar like the Poketch?

Hazard chittered in alarm, his fur fluffing, and nipped her. "Ouch! What was that for?" She shook her hand and frowned.

Maybe because you startled a pokemon that didn’t know you? Idk, I wouldn’t be grabbing at an electric spider.

"Maybe you shouldn't just touch other people's pokemon!"

For real tho

Koa suddenly remembered the honey tree where he first found Zubat. "Actually, can you add a jar of honey as well? I think my Zubat acquired a taste for the stuff."

I see that Echo is growing on Koa. And by growing, I mean already stuck on him. Just admit it already and love him, Koa.

Zubat was rather sweet, he supposed. He would almost be sad to see it go. Almost.

Almost, my ass.

Koa gulped and shifted awkwardly. "Uh... Nice work, Zubat."

Did he really not expect to never catch a pokemon that wasn’t on his list?

He hadn't been walking long before he spied a young boy in a purple tunic, instructing his Meditite to attack a tree. The Meditite would summon an attack, then strike the tree. Over and over, they repeated the motion, not unlike the training he did.

I really like the fic’s focus on training. It’s similar to the anime at times and you’ve done really well keeping it as a consistent thing.

"A Zubat! How pathetic indeed, to use such a weak, common pokemon."

Oh dear, that’s not going to set Koa off at all.

"Kody," the boy replied arrogantly. "With a 'K'.

Well, you’re an asshat already. I honestly love instantly hateable characters. Kody with a K is a great rival, kinda akin to Paul a little bit (so was Koa’s early “Plan” tbh).

"See! Just as I predicted, your Zubat is weak."

There’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Once he had gone, Koa released Zubat again. He gave it a potion to heal it, then sat on the ground and sighed. Zubat fluttered to life and stood up awkwardly, then slowly landed in his lap. He squeaked sadly and ducked his head, almost as if he was ashamed.

Oh, Echo you’re so wholesome. I love you already.

The fact that he survived the second shocked Koa even more.

Me too, stubborn little bat tanked the blow.

A trainer's starter was special.

I LOVE THIS VIBE

"Oh Zubat, I'm sorry!" he blurted out. Once he started, he couldn't stop. "I've been an awful trainer to you. You fought so hard for me and I didn't even care."

Wholesome Koa moment. He’s a good kid.

"Hmmm... let's see. Flutter? No, that's dumb. Dracula? Too cliche. How about...Echo?"

I’m a sucker for good nicknames. Koa seems good at them.

They weren't part of the Plan, but they were good.

I’m crying, this is so wholesome it’s adorable.

 

[Junebug44]

Chapters 4-7 Thoughts!

Echo managed to change his Supersonic into the concentrated golden orbs of a Confuse Ray.

I think the distinction between supersonic and confuse ray is interesting. supersonic can't really miss, but it can kind of be blocked if the opponent just drowned out the sound somehow. On the other hand, confuse ray can miss, but if it hits you you're confused no matter what.

Its eyes flickered blue, then it hurled itself headfirst into a nearby tree.

LMAO idk this made me laugh

Echo's glare grew even angrier if that was possible. He was not fond of people mocking his trainer

I love that Echo is so protective of his trainer

Hazard nodded in understanding. He launched a precise string of webbing at a tree behind Roserade, using it to yank himself forward.

SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN

Koa shook it. "Thanks! Golbat's hearing is sick. I realized after you used Flash that he could use his ears just as well as his eyes," he said.

is this a hint of Golbat's echo-location 👀

"Thanks, sweetie," he called, as she departed.

GET HER ASS, KOA

Echo fired the golden orb, striking Onix dead on. It roared again, its eyes glazed over.

The whole gym battle was awesome; it was great seeing Koa's growth and I really saw the difference in his battling skills through your writing.

The bed wasn't particularly comfortable, and he always felt slightly too hot or slightly too cold.

Most relatable thing OAT

He'd completely forgotten to ask for the guard's name!

Why do I feel like this random guard is gonna be important

xXx

Random side note, the hard cut xXx is cute

"We'll start with Dragon Tail. According to the Pokedex, you'll have to focus a bunch of dragon type energy into your tail. You can forget about Tail Whip and learn this instead."

This is a great way of teaching TMs and moves like that. I love the little training arcs you throw in your chapters, it makes me wanna do that for my fic

A moment later, he tumbled into the cave, followed by a shower of rocks.

This Koa guy always getting himself into trouble lolol

Koa removed his fingerless glove from his right hand.

I didn't notice this before but of course he's wearing fingerless gloves lol, he's such a shounen protag. Bro's literally Gingka from Beyblade.

It made sense, he reflected - Tyrunt were naturally aggressive pokemon, so he supposed in some strange way, his actions had garnered her respect. His reaction must have shocked her thoroughly though - obviously, she had no intention of injuring him with her bite. He'd seen the kind of strength she was capable of.

I love this whole arc with Tyrunt, and I'm glad you made the final issue something that's super unique to them instead of just "dragon type pokemon are stubborn," it makes the whole ordeal so refreshing and satisfying now that it's finally over.

Chapter 7 was the best chapter so far. It was so well written, from Koa bonding with his other teammates to interacting more with Cade to finally bond with his Tyrunt. I'm having such a great time reading! I'll see ya again soon!

 

[Junebug44]

Chapters 8-11!

At a pokemon center, he could wash his clothes, buy real food, and have a real bed.

I love the idea of having the Pokemon center double as a hotel for travelers. This is how they do it in The Roaring Trainers DnD podcast and it's practically canon in my head.

They'd both enjoyed the Fairy-types company

I think it should be Fairy-type's.

"What in the name of Arceus are you doing, kid? This is a pokemon battle!"

LMAO Koa's like catch these hands mothafucka

He was also shocked it knew Thunder Fang. Such a move could not normally be learned by wild Houndour. Rowan hadn't been joking when he said Blake worked hard on it.

This is super cool! I never really thought about how egg moves and breeding would be in a fic of Pokemon, but this really made me think. I really like the approach you took and I think I might now take a similar one! Side note: HOUNDOUR YESSSS and Anubis is such a dope nickname (I love Egyptian Mythology).

"Good grief, kid, you look like a drowned Rattata! Come inside." The man stepped back, opening the door wider.

You're telling me this guy was in the rain for hours and didn't get sick 😭 Koa gotta be superhuman

As he walked, he focused on his plans for the future. Great Marsh was first on his list of course. But he had another problem on his hands - his team. Thanks to everything that happened on his journey, his team had changed rather drastically from his Plan. Which meant that it might - and just thinking the thought made him shudder - be time to reconsider his Plan.

I love how you transitioned here into sharing Koa's introspection about his team. I'm definitely taking furious notes because I struggle with sharing my main character's thoughts often.

She gave a sharp nod. "His name is Liam Akihiko."

This is so Ash & Paul-coded with with breloom instead of chimchar. I hope Liam gets his ass kicked by his own Pokemon one day. That being said, I'm so glad Koa caught a breloom. I might have missed it, but Koa was earlier thinking of getting a fighting type to cover rock and ground, but I don't remember him internally resolving that thought later.

Breloom grinned and bumped his fist against Koa's.

I love this whole sequence with fighting Kitto's epic Hitmonchan. Breloom was already a beast fighter, but after being trained by Hitmonchan? I feel like he might end up being one of Koa's best :D

I've been loving everything about this so far...Koa seems to improving quickly, so I'm excited to see him get into some more high-level altercations with team Blackout. And of course...the moment he encounters his first legendary is gonna be SO hype.

 

[canisaries]

Hey there! I'm here to review Chapters 1-4 for a Heartache challenge and get to know Koa a little better while I'm at it. Why Chapter One again? Well, it's been two and a half years since I reviewed Chapter One, and I feel like I did a terrible job at it and wrote an unnecessarily mean review with opinions that I don't even agree with anymore. What better way to make up for it than a do-over? Let's get into it.

Chapter One

Moments later, avian cries broke the quiet morning and a cluster of Pidgey and Starly descended upon the yard, watching with expectant gazes, heads cocked ever so slightly. He grinned and waved, then pulled out a pack of seeds from his pocket, tossing them a few. The birds descended upon them in a flurry of brown and gray, until nothing remained. They shrieked, happily, their version of a 'thank you', before flying off.

This is a nice character moment! Paints Koa as likable and a fan of Pokemon.

Blake rolled his eyes and returned Absol. He handed the ball to Koa. "You can take Absol, but no battles! He's there for protection only, got it? Last thing I need is a call from Officer Jenny about an unlicensed trainer using my pokemon in an illegal battle."

I wonder if "Officer Jenny" here is literal or a personification of the police force the way Uncle Sam is a personification of the USA.

Koa turned back to face it. "Zubat just made a mistake. He only wants a little bit of your honey, not your whole tree. Right?"

The Zubat nodded emphatically. The Aipom's expression shifted to an apologetic one. It eyed Koa and the Zubat for a moment, then slowly nodded. With a grateful squeak, Zubat flew to the tree, landing and gratefully licking the honey off.

I was surprised to see Pokemon understand human language so well, but it tracks with the anime and I think you did have some aura-based justification for it based on what you've said on the discord.

Bold letters above the doors spelled out 'DTL'

Down to Love? 😳

"Hilgar said she's gonna become a coordinator and Cade over there is gonna be a dragon type specialist." He pointed to the caped boy, who nodded calmly in agreement.

haha he sure knows how to dress for it

He'd handed in his written test before most of the class too, except for Cade again, and he'd been confident on just about every question. But everything had gone downhill during his battle aptitude test. It had seemed so simple, when he'd gotten a Hippopotas and the instructor sent out an Eelektross, an electric-type. Yet he'd lost it, and humiliatingly too. Poor Hippopotas never even got to land a hit.

This is almost such a rotten matchup that I wonder why they allowed it, lol.

---

General Comments (Chapter One)

I mentioned every scene being in place in a way that sounded condescending last time, so I wanna make sure that I get it right this time. Every scene has a clear purpose and helps build the story, and the fact that it's """predictable""" just means that it's doing a great job setting things up structurally. I also don't know what I meant by "slow". I think I was just too deep in my distaste for journey fics that part of me wanted to "get it over with", something that I think I'm over by now thanks to trying another journey fic and finding it pretty interesting.

The legendary stuff, I don't know what my problem was. It makes perfect sense to me now that I'm rereading it, and I like the scene that establishes the public's opinions on seeking legendaries by having it be represented by different kids in the group. Also, disregard everything I said about Arceus worship. That was a stupid personal problem I had that I've gotten over since.

I like that fainting and Pokemon-human mechanics are explained early on so we know what kind of mechanics we're dealing with. I think that they came up naturally in the conversation and thus were smooth as exposition.

The ending is 100% fine. It did not need to be hugely climactic (is that a word? the opposite of anti-climatic?) - I just let my personal expectations dictate what I thought was supposed to happen and critiqued it based on that. It ends with "There was absolutely no way in Arceus' name he was keeping a Zubat. No. Way." and we already know this is ironic (another word I'm not sure if I'm using right) foreshadowing. It sets up the rest of the story, and that's a really good thing for the end of a first chapter to do.

There! I hope that makes up for my past sins. Now, onto the rest of the review.

---

Chapter Two

As admirable as its persistence was Koa and Crobat was just not how he wanted to be remembered.

It took me a few tries to read this sentence correctly. I think there ought to be a comma after "was".

A round green boulder had stopped his fall. Green boulder? But that meant...

"Shoot!" He leaped to his feet just as the boulder seemingly came to life, two arms and two legs popping out, followed by a small brownish head. The Golem roared at him in annoyance.

Green? I guess you must be going by sprites.

Golem tucked into a ball launched itself at Zubat,

Missing word(s)?

Perhaps it was best not to look a gift fossil in the jaw... Smiling to himself at his joke,

lol

Zubat didn't seem too badly injured; although the most concerning was a set of puncture marks caused by the Golbat's fangs. He needed a pokemon center. Although a Zubat would likely be immune to the dangerous toxins wild Golbat could carry, he still wanted to get the bite looked at.

Wait, what about his own bite?

She sighed and beckoned him. "Get over here. No sense in healing your pokemon and letting you catch all manners of diseases." Nerene led him to a side room and helped bandage his deeper wounds, and had Chansey use her abilities to heal the less serious ones. "Alright, there," Nerene grumbled. "Now stay out of dangerous caves. Please," she added.

Well, this half-addresses it, but I was expecting something to be said about the poison.

"Leave it alone!" Koa shouted. His fists clenched and his body tensed. Poachers were the worst kinds of criminals as far as he was concerned. They illegally captured pokemon using cruel and unfair methods, usually only to sell them for terrible purposes.

Oh yeah, I was wondering what made the difference between a trainer and a poacher.

"Oh boy..." Koa murmured. He recognized the look in its eyes. It wanted to come with him. He fought the urge to groan. The Plan was to get a Luxray, not a Joltik. As he stared into the Joltik's eyes, his heart began to soften. Despite its size, it displayed an unusual ferocity. Well, Joltik was still an electric type. And a Galvantula would be a strong addition to a team... "Are you saying you want to come with me?"

and so the Plan becomes the Suggestion

"Let's see..." Koa mused. "How about Jolt?"

Joltik immediately delivered a small shock to him.

posted cringe, lost subscriber

His fists shook and his chest tightened. He felt like punching a wall.

kyle moment

"I've also taken the liberty of registering your capture system personally," Professor Rowan continued. "So if you do choose to capture more than six pokemon, they will be sent to my preserve."

Hhhhhuh. I didn't really expect that functionality to come with a Pokedex, but Pokemon world technology is wacky anyway.

At least, they'd been thwarted before they could do real damage. Or at least, physical damage. Besides, those details weren't exactly public knowledge.

Did the Lake Valor bombing not happen in this universe? That sounds like physical damage.

Chapter Three

Ever since the atrocities committed by Team Galactic, trainers and travelers had said Mt. Coronet was cursed. Terrifying tales of specters and visions assaulting the brave souls who tried to ascend to the peak. Or worse, trainers vanishing entirely, only to reappear days or weeks later with little memory of their time missing. Koa hated it.

Uxie? I guess time will tell.

In a moment, the Starly recovered. It blinked a few times, cheeped grouchily, then took off. Koa watched it go and groaned. Well, there would be plenty of opportunities to catch another Starly. He just wanted to catch the right one. Yeah! That was all. And when he did, he would release Zubat.

cope

"We'll make it there one day, Hazard," he pointed towards Mt. Coronet. "We'll show the world. And we'll meet them. Dialga and Palkia." Perhaps even Giratina...

Hazard chirped. From somewhere behind, Zubat screeched his agreement.

"yeah! ...what's a dialga"

Roark handed the fossil back and shook his head. "I'd love to since I've never had the pleasure of seeing a Tyrunt, but I'm afraid it's not that simple. Tyrunt are very tough, stubborn pokemon, and hard to train. Unless you have at least two gym badges, then you'll have to wait."

oooooooooo pokemon-specific badge requirements

The referee stepped over to a button on the wall and pressed it. A glowing barrier flashed around the open side of the arena then faded. Koa recognized it as one of the safety measures implemented to prevent heated battles from damaging gyms.

oooooooooo safety measures

Roark gestured dramatically to the hulking beast. "Rocky, use Screech!"

roark not blessed with clever nickname inventing powers

For a moment, he considered sneaking into the museum and doing it himself, before dismissing the thought.

yeah let me just go up to the Restoration Machine and press a button --

*quiets as she realizes this really might be how it works*

Hazard chittered and scurried up his arm, nuzzling into his neck.

100% expected him to bite into his jugular

Hazard sprang earnestly into battle. In just a few minutes, Hazard managed to use smaller size and speed to slip through the Bidoof's rather impressive defenses and immobilize it long enough to deal the finishing blow.

Oh, I am so happy we have fast-forwarded battles instead of all of them being written out. The alternative would get old fast.

Unlike Ore cave, which had yet to be fully mapped, thanks to Onix's and such,

It ought to just be "Onix", right? That's the plural, and there's no need for it to be in the possessive case. Unless you forgot a word?

The next morning, he awoke to a strange weight on his chest. Blinking his eyes, he opened them to see Zubat nestled against his chest, sleeping peacefully. Or at least, he assumed he was sleeping. Zubat's lack of eyes made it hard to tell. Watching it, he almost pitied the poor creature. Yet he also respected the uncommon stubbornness it displayed. Almost unconsciously, he reached up and stroked it gently between the ears. Its blue fur was extraordinarily soft and fluffy. A small smile began to creep across Koa's face.

This is a nice moment.

The Pick-a-Peck of Flowers shop.

"Hello, welcome to Pick a Peck of Flowers!"

Spelling seems to change.

Go Sai!

nah, i don't really feel like drawing right now

The boy pointed and laughed again. "A Zubat! How pathetic indeed, to use such a weak, common pokemon."

wow! you must have many friends

"Confuse it," Zubat dodged and opened its jaws,

That's not a dialogue tag, so comma should be a period?

Zubat had lost, unsurprisingly. What did surprise him was that he should have fainted much earlier, after the first Psyshock. The fact that he survived the second shocked Koa even more. And then... he reflected on the battle, how Zubat bravely tried to keep fighting anyway. Even when he was exhausted. Despite how he'd rejected Zubat constantly, he had clearly put everything he had into the battle. Another thought occurred to him, one he'd tried to avoid thinking about. Technically, Zubat was his starter. Not Joltik. It was the first pokemon he acquired after becoming a licensed trainer.

A trainer's starter was special.

finally, Zubat's simping is paying off

Yet... Rowan's words echoed through his mind.

yeah they tend to do that

Chapter Four

and an Arcanine sat at the gate, watching his surroundings intently. It acknowledged him with a bark as he approached, then moved from in front of the gate. Koa stroked him gently, scratching behind his ears before going into the cabin. He briefly wondered about its trainer. It looked happy and well-cared for.

The pronoun used for Arcanine switches between "he" and "it".

The third day, however, proved more interesting. Not too long after he set out in the morning, a girl burst out of the brush. "Hey! You're the kid who lost to my brother, and punched him in the face, right?"

Koa stared at her, puzzled. "What?" She wore a set of distinct purple clothes and had familiar dark gray hair.

"My brother, Kody. We come to Route 205 and Eterna Forest to train. Has a Meditite, about yea high?" she continued, gesturing.

This seems to be a remnant of an earlier version of the story that still had the punch. If the author's notes of Chapter 3 didn't mention there being a punch (which you apparently did remove - is it too late to say that I would have liked to see that kid being punched?), I would've been royally confused here.

He dived towards Meditite

Missing a period, or possibly the rest of the sentence?

At the mention of the name, the boy broke into a chuckle, shaking his head. "Certainly you jest? Do you not fear the curse upon the peak? If you know your legends then you know those are forbidden lands now."

he's really going all in in this dragon trainer thing

The Cycle Shop in Eterna was the only bike distributor in all of Sinnoh,

Reeeaallly? I mean... I guess Sinnoh could be a lot smaller than I thought, but it still feels kind of extreme.

"How about 10,000 Poke." It was basically all he had, so if he lost, he would be broke. But if he won, it would pay off handsomely.

kaiji

---

General Comments (Chapters Two to Four)

Ch2:

I was wondering how good a reason Koa would have to stick with the Zubat, and him feeling responsible for him is good enough, I'd say.

Ch3:

You say in the author's notes that Koa's attitude change regarding Echo was abrupt... eh, I don't know, it seemed alright to me. Koa clearly cares about what pokemon think and having one that's really loyal to him while he mistreats them make sense in making him feel bad, and there's been plenty of material to suggest Echo is stronger than expected.

Ch4:

While I have little personal interest in battles, I can appreciate the many twists in the Gardenia battle. I hope you don't run out of those for the coming ones, as you've set a higher standard now.

My comments seem to have been a bit sparse for these chapters, but I just couldn't come up with much to say. I think it's just the fact that I'm not into battles, which this part of the story has been heavy with. But do note that this also means I had nothing negative to say! That's a win in itself.

That does it for my thoughts. Good luck with writing onward, and see you around.