Pokémon Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: The Shadow Catalyst

[Kbludoh]

Summary

Ember lived a peaceful life in Pidove's Nest as the town's engineer until a cryptic letter sends her in a search for her long last seen father. Ancient shadow forces, however, creep ever closer. Relying on her hopes, skills, and allies she makes along the way, she goes on a journey bigger than she could ever imagine.

About the Author and the Story

Hey there! I'm Kbludoh, a hobby writer and roleplayer who, alongside most of you who joined this server, has a passion for Pokémon and writing. For the past six years or so, I've taken a passion in Roleplaying and Table-Top RPGs such as D&D, and it has eventually grown into writing. After years of grinding in prose-centric RPs with a few close friends in closed settings (and writing a couple of short fics here and there), I was finally drawn into biting the bullet and writing my first long-format story. And thus, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: The Shadow Catalyst was born!

This story happens at an undisclosed time in the future after the events of all Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games, in an adapted setting in a completely original continent. I know the terms "character development" and "focus on character interaction" are thrown a lot around, but I do believe they truly convey what I mean to explore in this story. I tend to me methodical in my approach to writing; exploring how characters truly feel, watching them converse and grow with each other, and not skip beats. Every scene is meant to have a purpose, and I do not shy away from giving a character a little bit of time before moving on with the plot.

Overall, if you like character-centric stories with an overarching adventurous plot, this will be a several-course meal for you!

Spoiler: Rating and Basic Info

To be on the safer side, I will be posting this as T-rated. There will be instances of violence, blood, death and other dark themes.

This story does not contain a target number of chapters, but it is good to know it will be long!

Each chapter is meant to be on the shorter side, with a target varying of 1.5k to 5k words in length.

This story will be posted and updated on other sites, such as FF.NET, AO3 and other places that I end up finding. The username should be the same: Kbludoh. If you find me anywhere, don't be afraid of saying hi!

EDIT: For those who have read the fanfic prior to March 1st, 2024; a prologue was added in order to better hash out the tone expected in the story. It does not change any of what has been written afterwards, but it may add a new perspective.

Some slight editing were made to Chapter 1 (Chapter 2 in AO3's count, "Pidove's Nest") with some smaller improvements to grammar and prose, as well as some minor modifications to better the dialogue flow in certain parts. They do not have any impact in any of the content; they are just quality-of-life changes.

EDIT 2: As of August 1st, 2024, the fic is being re-edited to better grammar, since it was picked for a public reading! Ye! It is not dead.

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PROLOGUE - It Looms

The noon’s oh-so-lovely sun towered over the the quaint town’s surrounding fields of meticulously lined trees. The repugnant vibrant blue dotted the green canopies like a part of the sky had decided to share its color with the reviling picturesque field; they were the Oran berries which gave ‘Oran Stead’ its name. The curled lips and ear-scratching laughter of the Pokémon in the main plaza made the farming town even more welcoming, accompanied by the reeking smell of freshly baked pastries.

The top-down view from the tallest building showed it all to the female Liepard clearly, way too clearly. The "coziness" of this place, the "happiness" of these Pokémon, the hundreds of lives devoid of worries. Her fur bristled and acid burned deep in her throat while she scanned the movement. These… These Pokémon were akin to disgusting hairless little Mareep who weren’t even aware Lycanroc existed and could devour them. They had no claw, no teeth, not even electricity, yet they waddled aimlessly as if no danger would ever befall them. This place reeked, its happiness was vile. It was nauseating being there, degrading to lower her mind to their pathetic level. Yet, to find him, she would have to think like these "townsfolk", to swim and dive in this sea of molasses.


She hissed. He had picked this place on purpose. He knew she would eventually be tasked to meet him. That damned smirk, feasting on watching her squirm among "them".


She straightened her posture and swallowed the bile back. Lingering would accomplish nothing but prolong her stay. Focus always made it manageable. Her sharp eyes did not spot him out in the open. There were several pies and cakes lined against the bakery’s open windows. She could stake it out — he adored to gorge in their filth — but that would take excruciatingly too long and stomaching through was not an option. Her gaze drifted towards a large group of Pokémon entering a building. The diner was a safe bet. Cheerful, boastful, repugnant. Exactly the kind of pen he would flop into.


Like clockwork, he was there, seated in one of the stools and having a spirited exchange with a Miltank server. She forced herself to relax and straightened her posture. The meeting would be quick, she would last. The cat slithered around the filled tables of the crowded eatery, building up elegance with each step despite the uproarious conversations of the patrons gnawing at her ears.


Once she reached the counter, one swift jump and she was sitting one stool away from him. His shared hearty laugh with the server was a Twineedle to her eardrums and the capsaicin smell from his half-eaten Tamato tart rammed against her nostrils. The bile knocked at the back of her throat. She shut her eyes and swallowed. Control. You got this.


“What can I get for ya, ma’am?”


The Miltank was staring at her, baring her teeth with an overwhelming friendliness.


“Wa—”


“You can get my feline friend one of your irresistible Tamato tarts, Bessie. I am positive she will absolutely love it.” He said, punctuating with a chef’s kiss. “You can put it in my tab along anything else she orders.”


“You’re too kind!” Bessie said, chuckling. “Anything to drink?”


He raised a hand. "You can also get her that tongue-cutting lemon—"


“Water.” The Liepard cut him. “Ice cold.”


“Alright! An ice cold water and a Tamato tart. I’ll be right back!” The Miltank nodded and left.


The Liepard shivered, her stomach was a storm. It took a few deep breaths to recompose. The Liepard's eyes locked with his. He was cross-legged, lackadaisical, an idle smirk mindlessly directed at her. He was lavishing in her plight. Her tail thrashed, her claws dug into the wooden stool. He knew exactly what he was doing. The nerve.


"There you go."


The ice-filled glass bowl and the spicy tart plate thudding on the counter snapped her back to the oppressively joyous room. The server winked and left with a trail to the other tables. Her stomach wrenched again.


“I am pleased to have your visit, Ga—”


“Don’t.” The Liepard interrupted, then shoved her snout in the water and lapped as her life depended on it.


“As charming as ever.” He chuckled. “Good to know you missed me. I missed you too.”


She glared back and his smirk widened. She pulled her snout, the water trickling down her neck and chest.


“I didn't. You didn’t.”


“True,” he conceded, shrugging. "But pleasantries are a part of the world. Or so I heard."


She wiped the water off her fur and craned her spine upright to its feline grace. That didn't deserve an answer. Her gaze drifted to the tart towing its way to his mouth. The soggy pastry disintegrated at the clumsy bite, the filling overflowing down to his hand and plate. He flicked his fingers, plopping the remnants as he reached for a napkin dispenser. He wiped his hands and the sides of his beak whilst slowly chewing way more than he should have clearly taken. His smirk tossed at her aversion had her squinting her eyes. Once again underestimating how low he could get. Regardless, she wasn't there to watch his table manners. And the sooner she was done with this business, the sooner she could leave this sickening place.


“We lost ‘it’,” she said.


His smirk widened as he spoke with his beak full. “Don’t we lose ‘it’ every couple of months?”


Her tail thrashed once more. Of course he wouldn't take this seriously. When had he ever? “Permanently, this time.”


He chuckled. The chuckle turned to a giggle, then escalated to full blown laughter, cackle, and wheeze. The eyes turning at them had her freeze. Too much attention. After a full minute It winded down to contrived giggles and he wiped the tears with a few unused napkins. She waited for the chatter to resume.


“What is so funny?” She said.


“It’s nothing, it’s nothing. But the thought of years and years down the drain like that. I don’t know about you, but it’s… It’s hilarious.” He bursted into laughter again. “H-how did you manage to—Actually, don’t tell me. It’s not important anyways. It was a wild Swanna chase from the beginning.”


Her eyes narrowed, her teeth gritted, her gaze homed to his neck. She was forced tolerate his attitude towards her, but towards the Moonless’s plans... A sharp bolt of electricity and a claw would end him quickly.


“You could try. The whole diner would love to see you fail at that.” He stared right at her eyes, an unsettling calm grin plastered on his face.


The taunt strained her already razor-thin patience. Her grip cracked the stool beneath her. No one should ever get away with this level of disrespect. He was so very lucky the Moonless needed him. She turned her head and huffed. This idiot wasn’t worth the aftermath’s hassle anyways.


“A status update was requested.” She moved on.


“Boring,” he said, leaning against the counter. “The experiment was a success, within the expected range of results. I’ll be staying here for a bit longer though. I want to… enjoy the results of my labor, if I may.”


At least it wasn't a wasted trip. “Don’t overstay. As soon as word spreads, they will be swarming this place.”


“Oh, so you do care." His tone drooled honey. "I can handle them just fine.”


She narrowed her eyes. His cockiness and flippantness would be the end of them one day. She jumped down the stool, saying without looking. “Whenever you’re done, you’re needed down South. Don’t take long. We’re waiting.”


“Wait,” he said, reaching a hand, “you haven’t touched your Tamato tart.”


“We can’t taste anything. Why would I willingly burn my mouth?”


“Why was your water ice cold then?” He retorted, that cocky smirk returning to his face.


Her tail thrashed again. No, his attitude wouldn’t be the end of them. She would be the end of him. Just wait for his inevitable misstep.


“Keep it,” The dark cat said and turned towards the exit. "Shove it down your throat and choke on it for all I care."


“Hot,” he said, then stuffed the tart whole into his mouth. "Your loss."


She left the building, and each step towards its nearest alley became clumsier. The smell, the smiles, all their overwhelming happiness. She had overstayed way too much. She clambered up to a roof and a wave of pain wrecked her from inside out, reviling, twisting, raking her insides. Fighting her trembling body, she darted from roof to roof until she reached the edge of town. Their laughter, the sight of them. She stumbled through the fields. Out of there, faster. She leaned against a tree and partially-digested berries painted the ground. She heaved, wide-eyed, her body twitching. She spared a final glance at that grotesque sight of beauty and peace, and more escaped her throat. This place was wrong, horrifically wrong, disgustingly wrong. Their... everything. It was unnatural, freakish, abhorrent, revolting, repulsive. Her body, her core rejected it. It was a pulsing tumor, bared in front of her.


She lumbered forward, her bulging eyes glowing a sickly deep purple. It was only a matter of time before it was all corrected. Its resurface was near. It had nearly succeeded twice. The Moonless would secure its success the third.

 

[Kbludoh]

CHAPTER 1 - Pidove's Nest

“Here are the glasses I had promised to fix for you, Mr. Tapi.” The Quilava extended the small, featureless wooden container towards him.

“Oh! Thank you so much, Miss Ember!” The old Drowzee reached for it with a smile as large as his nose-trunk. “Would you mind if I tried them now?”

“Quite the opposite, really!” Ember said, observing the elder Pokémon haphazardly unboxing and unwrapping the soft fabric from the glasses. “I’ve made some adjustments to the bridge and the pads, and I was actually going to ask you to try them and check if they’re comfortable.”

"But of course! Let me just—Oh, by lady Cresselia, I can see again!"

It was impossible for Ember to hide her smile upon seeing the well-lived Drowzee brighten up akin to a marveled hatchling when they finally got their gift from Winter Delibird. The Drowzee started pointing at faraway items in his living room, reading out aloud book titles in the shelf, and even counting the coins left inside a bowl on a small shelf next to his house's main door.

Leaving the elder to further explore his improved eyesight, Ember adjusted the Safety Goggles over her forehead and snuck a glance at her notepad. As the sole engineer of Pidove's Nest, the demand for her services was constant. Scratched off from the list of this morning alone, Ember had unclogged Granny Flower’s plumbing, fixed Blacksmith Hammer’s furnace, and delivered the powdered mix of White Herb and Aspear Seed to Doctor Bella to her exact specifications. A lot of work for a small town, yes, but one she was more than happy to tackle head on. And now, she could add the satisfaction of scratching the final item of today's list: Mr. Tapi’s glasses.

“They are perfect!” Mr. Tapi finally turned to Ember. “I can go back to reading my grandchildren’s favorite books when I visit them in Oran Stead. I have no way to thank you enough.”

“I’m glad you like them!” Ember was radiant. “Knowing that is more than enough thanks.”

The elder took one step to his left and reached for a shelf just outside of view. “Here is the payment for the glasses, ma’am.”

Ember eyed the small bag of Poké and shook her head. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about it, Mr. Tapi. It wasn’t that complic—”

Mr. Tapi gently took one of Ember’s paws with one hand and placed the bag with his other. “You worked hard to give an old Drowzee his eyesight back, Miss Ember. And if there is a lesson that someone who has lived as long as I did can teach a young Pokémon like you, it is that you should never work for free.”

Ember sheepishly smiled. There was no way out of it. “O-okay, Mr. Tapi… Thank you for the kindness.”

Among warm greetings and short joyful conversations, the Quilava made her way towards towards the edge of the ten-blocks-or-so of clumped Pokémon-shaped houses that comprised Pidove's Nest... And with them, of course she had gathered more job requests. Out of the new wave, a couple had been bumped up to 'top priority'. Ember couldn't hold her giggle in as Otto the Pidgeot relayed how his stove had become unusable after his culinary accident involving an Apple Soufflé and too much yeast, and had become as excited as Serenity the Sentret when the Normal-type showed her house’s new main door in her most recent spree of house renovations that needed to have its lock fitted in.

A lot of work Ember had indeed. But before spending her whole afternoon in her workshop prepping everything up, a brief moment of respite was in order.

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Tink-a-tink-a-tink.

Ember released the bell’s rope, her eyes drifting towards the open window as she waited patiently on the front doorway. The wooden house, built inside the biggest oak tree in eastern Tranquill Forest, was the source of the delicious bitter-savory scent of Rawst stew that filled the longest stretch of her way there. A few heavy steps preceded the door opening. Her smile was bigger than the toothy grin of the Rillaboom greeting her.

“Hey Uncle Rim!”

“Hey, young lady!" The large gorilla hunched down and squeezed her tight. "Right as lunch got ready.”

After the hug, Ember had the proudest finger raised. “I promised I’d be here at noon sharp.”

“That you did!” He chuckled. “Now come in. The table’s almost set. I'll call you when it's ready.”

With Uncle Rim set to the kitchen, her eyes scanned his living room. Though she visited Uncle Rim's living room hundreds of times, once again they honed into his so-called 'corner of treasures'. She walked towards it, running her fingers over the big Uxiepedia collection. It was enviable how Uncle had gotten all books, even if they were from an older edition. In-between lines of books she scanned through, her gaze veered to the wall surrounding the encyclopedia. There was a varnished wooden sling they used to shoot berries with was proudly framed alongside a small pouch. It had been a few years since they had shot it. It used to be fun, and he always said she was good at it. There was also his golden-winged guild ribbon hanging from a silver chain from his time at the Lunar Guild. The crazy stories he shared from his adventures with Dad. And there was also a small painting of three Pokémon smiling: a Cyndaquil, a Rillaboom and a Delphox. She was so excited that day, when the Smeargle dad secretly hired came and painted that picture for her hatchday. It was just a week before she evolved and he... left for his research...

"Lunch's ready, young lady! Come while it's hot!"

The kitchen had the table set for the two, complete with berries, juice, water, and Uncle Rim's signature Rawst Stew. This daily gathering had become their sacred little ritual: whenever Ember had a job in Pidove’s Nest, she had lunch at Uncle Rim’s. The spirited conversations were also a big part of it. If confronted Ember would agree that it was mostly Uncle Rim listening to how she figured out each problem she fixed that day, yet both wouldn’t want it any other way. And even if Uncle Rim couldn't understand Ember’s technical mumbo-jumbo, the years of theories and concepts being explained over and over had him pick up enough to mirror a fraction of her complex vocabulary—if only to poke jokes with it.

“So, you used this ‘pie’ to calculate Mr. Tapi’s trunk and adjust his glasses?” He said, scratching his cheek. “Didn’t know pastries could measure anything.”

Ember chuckled. “Not that kind of ‘pie’. ‘Pi’ is a number that represents the proportion between a line from the middle of the circle to its side—its radius—and the length of its outside—its perimeter.”

“‘Pie’ sounds way less delicious that way.” Rim shrugged.

Ember barely held her face straight. “It is a delicious food for thought, though.”

“Look who ate from the witty pie.”

“It was delicious.” Ember said, bursting into a giggling fit a second later.

“I’m not gonna be beaten this easily, young lady. ” Rim had a single eye open and a barely contained smirk. “You may have won this battle, but not the war.”

As it subdued, she picked the bowl up with both paws and took a long sip. A satisfied smile permeated as she finished, the stew’s warmth gently spreading through her body. It was just like when she used to be a Cyndaquil and they all would have lunch together, like when…

“Uncle Rim?”

“Yes?” The Rillaboom said, already standing and picking up the dishes.

“Thank you.” Ember said, eyes closed.

“Bah, it’s nothing.” he waved it off. “You’re excellent company, and I’d cook way more than I could eat, anyway. If I cooked only for me, I'd be as big as a Snorlax in a few weeks.”

Ember stifled a chuckle. “That too, but... This is the same stew you cooked for Dad and I when we had lunch here with you. Since he left for his research, you’ve always been here for me. I still miss Dad—we always did everything together—but you make missing him easier.”

Ember opened her eyes, a sincere smile pointed at the dumbfounded Rillaboom.

Rim set the dirty dishes aside and wordlessly approached Ember. He crouched, eye to eye with her. A second later, he broke a gentle smile and gingerly booped her nose. “You know... Onnophrius and I were great friends since before you were an egg. And then he built his lab here, I retired, and I’ve seen you grow up from a wee little hatchling to the bright engineer you are today. Even though we’re not the same blood, I'm your family. And family is always there for the family.”

Ember leaned and stretched her arms as wide as she could to envelop as much of the Rillaboom. With a single arm, he embraced her whole.

“I'll always be here for you, alright? Don't forget that.”

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The mid afternoon sun brought its warmth to the tall canopies of Tranquill Forest. Atop its hills, with a vantage point to Pidove’s Nest, hid a small building complex. The brick-and-mortar house in its middle was the largest, standing two stories tall. Next to its main door was a large, kettle-like whistle welded to a tall steel beam with a rope hanging from it. Three other buildings surrounded its immediate vicinity: a glass and steel greenhouse to its right with flowers and plants of all shapes and sizes overflowing from it, a rough metal-sheet covered warehouse to its back filled to the brim with all assortment of boxes and crates, and a rustic stone workshop with thick puffs sprouting out of its chimney to its left.

And from within the workshop, by a large counter which sprawled a large assortment of precision tools and a few grease bottles, Ember fiddled with a door knob and its disassembled locking-mechanism innards. It hadn't been a very complicated process. Just loosen a few screws, make sure that all pieces are appropriately oiled up and the springs were coiled to the right tension, then ensure the keys would fit and work appropriately. And it all seemed fine. Now all she had to do was—

KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Ember perked up. A visitor? A regular, since they knew how to use the whistle. She stepped out of her workshop and squinted her eyes. A large aged Pelipper wave a blue cap with a wing, and held a messenger bag filled to the brim with an assortment of letters and packages with the other. It was... Peppo?

“Mail!”

It was Peppo.

“One moment, please!”

She rushed inside and hastily washed it. If she were to receive a package or a letter, she would ruin it with all the grease over her hand and fur. A quick glance showed a few spots over her arms and chest, but it had to suffice. As she left the workshop, her eyes watered when her face was struck with sunlight, and her nose began to itch. With each step the itch grew stronger, and right before she reached the mailmon, it overwhelmed her.

“Atchee!”

“Xerneas bless you, Miss Ember!” The mailmon said, taking his cap and holding it over his chest. “Not catching a cold now, are you?”

“Thank you, Peppo.” Ember said rubbing her damp eyes, her nose still a little stuffy. “I’m fine. I just... sneeze when I leave somewhere dark and go under the sun.”

“Ah, yes. My little grandson has the same thing. Every morning when he goes out to spend the day flying around the beach, he just ‘atchoos’. Heh… I need to visit the little daredevil soon. Been some time since I last seen him.” Peppo chuckled heartily, putting his cap back on. “But I digress. Great to see you, Miss Ember!”

Ember mirrored his smile. He always loved talking about his family. “Great to see you, too! I wasn’t expecting you to come today. Is it my Bluk Ink shipment? Burr said it was bound to arrive this week.”

“Eh, it hasn’t arrived yet. He said the shipment was delayed ‘cause of that storm down South. Been up for a couple weeks now, I heard. You know how that Kecleon is, though, he’ll probably make up for you with something extra.”

“I told him he doesn’t have to do that.” Ember scratched the back of her head.

“You know how he is. He gave you his word, he won’t be able to keep it, so he’ll make up for it. He has way too much pride in him, no way you can convince him otherwise.” The Pelipper once again chuckled.

All Ember could do was smile and nod.“I guess so…”

“But, let’s get to why I actually came here for…” Peppo sifted through his bag. “This.”

The mailmon held an envelope out to the Quilava. It was not of a fancy paper, but the sheet was thick, clearly meant to be durable. Taking it in paws, Ember flipped it back and forth; its front contained an unbroken wax seal depicting a wrench and a screwdriver, its back only had her full name written on it: ‘Ember Emmett.’

“Oh… It doesn’t have a sender.” She said, looking puzzled at Peppo. “Any idea who could have been?”

“Nope. Just found it in the community mailbox after lunch. Saw your name on it and included you in this afternoon’s route last minute.”

“Oh… Okay.” She stared at the letter again. That was a very different seal. Maybe someone was ordering something specific? It wouldn't have been the first time. She would have to look at it later though, when the grease wouldn’t ruin it. “Thank you for delivering it. If you could send the word that I’ll be taking a look at Otto’s stove first thing in the morning and that I’ll be installing Serenity’s new lock right after, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

“You don’t have to worry about it, young lady. I will be your bearer of news!” The Pelipper playfully bowed.

Ember giggled. His good mood was always infectious. “Thank you again, Peppo.”

“My pleasure!” He tipped his cap.

Ember waved her goodbye as the Pelipper took flight, then once more she stared at the letter. There was something weird about it. No sender, it had her full name when nobody ever referred to her that way, and it was dropped straight in the town’s community mailbox… and that seal. It felt oddly familiar, but she couldn’t quite place why.

But again, later. She still had work to do.

 

[Kbludoh]

INTERLUDE - A Letter to my Little Ember

“To my little Ember,

Question 1: 1,371,330,631 is a large number. A Venusaur root will put it back to its place.

Question 2: An amusing thought: what is the result of combining two Flaaffy, and then dividing it by a Pidgeot?

Question 3: Nothing to the potency of nothing should result in nothing, but it still results in something. Tricky, isn’t it?

Question 4: True or False, and then to the base of 2:
( ) Due to still unknown time-space anomalies, the layout of a given Mystery Dungeon is always unique each time it’s entered.
( ) The Pokémon who dwell in a Mystery Dungeon are facsimile echoes of Pokémon who formerly inhabited that region.
( ) Historically, natural grottos have been widely used as shelter and protection by Pokémon.
( ) A tree is able to grow without a source of sunlight.

We’ve always counted to 2. Readability is important, so let’s count to 10 instead, shall we?

Water it with Unown, and a lovely berry will grow. We might need some of their seeds. Let’s meet there. The fourth is important for the right meeting spot.

Love,
Onnophrius Emmett”

 

[Kbludoh]

CHAPTER 2 - Let's Meet There

The sun had already hidden behind the horizon long ago, the crescent moon with its veil of stars gracing the sky for those who’d spare the evening to be enthralled by it. Ember was not one of them. Surrounded by packed shelves of books, the desk of her study had a dozen or so pages of scattered notes and calculations, different Uxiepedia volumes were haphazardly opened with colored post-it notes stuck to different points, and Ember’s overworked eyes were tracing imaginary lines among all of them.

Ember took a deep breath, then another deeper one. Very few of her Dad’s most difficult quizzes had ever overworked her brain as much as this letter had so far. She stood up on her chair, towering the myriad of information she had spent the past few hours working diligently on. A broader perspective for the final step.

‘Okay, Ember.’ She thought. ‘Let's review what you got so far. Organize your thoughts and notes. You’re almost done.’

‘There are Pokémon names in these questions, and Uxiepedia has a comprehensive list of all species, numbered according to the order they were cataloged. Questions with Pokémon in it are supposed to have them used as their Uxiepedia entry numbers instead.’

“Question 1: 1,371,330,631 is a large number. A Venusaur root will put it back to its place.”

‘According to Uxiepedia, Venusaur is entry #3. The root of a Venusaur would be a cube root. The cube root of 1,371,330,631 is 1111.’

“Question 2: An amusing thought: what happens when you combine two Flaaffy, and then divide it by a Pidgeot?”

‘Flaaffy's Uxipedia entry is #180. Now, the letter said combining, not multiplying. “Details matter.”, as you taught me, Dad. Combining two Flaaffy creates the number 180180, and then dividing by a Pidgeot, entry #18, results in 10010.’

“Question 3: Nothing to the potency of nothing should also result in nothing, but it still results in something. Tricky, isn’t it?”

‘Nothing is zero. Any number to the potency of 0 results in 1, even zero. You used this example when you taught me that “things are just the way they are sometimes.” And they are, aren’t they?’

“Question 4: True or False, and then to the base of 2:”

‘Just a short quiz. Base of 2 is making numbers be either 1 and 0 to count. True and false is treating it as boolean, treating a true as 1 and a false as a 0.’

“( ) Due to still unknown time-space anomalies, the layout of a given Mystery Dungeon is always unique each time it’s entered.”

‘True. It is a still unknown phenomenon of why it happens, but this is basic Mystery Dungeon knowledge. At least according to Uxiepedia.’

“( ) The Pokémon who dwell in a Mystery Dungeon are facsimile echoes of Pokémon who formerly inhabited that region.”

‘This is a recorded phenomenon that researchers have extensively reported on Uxiepedia. The echoes are presumed from the Pokémon acting “feral”, not following any discernible sentient reasoning according to tests run.’

“( ) Historically, natural grottos have been widely used as shelter and protection by Pokémon.”

‘True. You taught me in our History lessons, and Uncle Rim stories always had his team going to caves at the end of night to camp or to hide from strenuous weather whenever available.’

“( ) A tree is able to grow without a source of sunlight.”

‘Now… this one is false. Photosynthesis requires sunlight, even if a little. There are bushes and smaller plants that grow under the moonlight, but not trees. Trees grow tall so they can get more sunlight than their surrounding neighbors.’

‘True, true, true, false. Again, to the base of 2, with ‘true’ equaling 1 and ‘false’ equaling 0, this question’s result is 1110.’

“We’ve always counted to 2. Readability is important, so let’s count to 10 instead, shall we?”

‘Even though counting is more efficient in base 2, base 10 is how most people count. That is why we convert, because readability is important. All numbers from previous questions have “ones” and “zeros”. We convert them from base 2 to base 10.’

“Question 1: 1111 = 15
Question 2: 10010 = 18
Question 3: 1 = 1
Question 4: 1110 = 14”

‘15, 18, 1, 14. Those are the numbers Dad wants me to find.’

“Water it with Unown, and a lovely berry will grow.”

‘Watering it with Unown… Unown is Uxiepedia entry #201… but they are also an ancient alphabet. If in this case we are no longer going with entries and instead going with the alphabet, Uxiepedia has also cataloged each Unown format in an order. So, if “watering them with Unown” means cross-referencing the converted results with the corresponding letter in the Unown alphabet’s order, we get…’

“15 = O
18 = R
1 = A
14 = N”

‘Oran. An Oran berry! The berry that grows from all of this is an Oran berry!’

“We might need some of their seeds. Let's meet there.”

‘Okay, Dad wants to meet me, and he said we need some Oran seeds. So he wants to meet me where we could get Oran seeds. But Oran berries are one of the most common seeds to find... unless he means Oran Stead! Oran Stead has the largest Oran berry farms in the continent. He must want to meet me there!’

“The fourth is important for the right meeting spot.”

‘So, if my assumption is correct, I should be meeting him in Oran Stead, and if I am to understand it correctly, it is somewhere there related to Mystery Dungeons, grottos, trees, and sunlight.’

The Quilava plopped back to the chair and deflated against its rail. Ember’s entire belly flared up with Butterfrees, her heart rate skyrocketed. After all these years, she was about to meet her father again. It was sudden, it was out of ordinary, but it was real.

Ember straightened up and took a deep breath. She released it, then breathed in more deeply. As much as the news were indeed the best they could be, leaving first thing tomorrow was undoubtedly the worst choice to make. If her father wanted to meet her, the possibility that she would be far from Pidove’s Nest for an extended period of time was considerably—no—overwhelmingly high. She had a job with responsibilities, there were Pokémon counting on her, and she couldn’t just leave without saying anything to anyone… especially Uncle Rim.

Her heart sank. She was about to do exactly what her father had done. Uncle Rim had always reassured her that her father’s research was world changing and he would never have left her if it weren’t. But she knew exactly what happened to those who were left behind. She was one of them.

Ember looked out the window, up to the stars. Her eyes dampened. Somewhere close, beneath that dotted veil in the sky, her father also wanted to meet her. She would be able to tell him all she learned, to show him all she could do and make, to... finally be together with him and... give him a hug.

There wasn't really a choice. Her father wanted to meet her... He needed her help.

But, as much as every ounce of her fought to just up and leave right there and then, if she were to heed the call, she had to do so correctly.

 

[Kbludoh]

CHAPTER 3: Leaving the Nest

The pitch black had barely gained a hint of blue and Ember was already up. Waking up this early was the norm; after all ‘the early Taillow gets the Wurmple’. But it wasn’t like the turmoil in her head would have allowed much more sleep either way.


Before rolling on her bed like she swallowed a handful of Worry Seeds, she had created a to-do list, an extensive one. First, carry out her morning appointments as normal and have her absence from Pidove's Nest known. Second, and by far the most difficult item in the list, visit Uncle Rim over lunch and break the news of her trip. At the very least she could read the letter she spent a good chunk of the night writing. Then, go to Burr’s shop and purchase all the travel supplies necessary for her two-day trek to Oran Stead. Late afternoon and early evening were to make sure everything was packed and prepared, and have the route and the immediate surroundings revisited for the trip next day. Before bed, double check everything so tomorrow it was only breakfast and hitting the road.


The morning was excruciatingly long, yet exactly as planned. Otto’s stove had its interior replaced, the remnants of the exploded Apple Soufflé cleaned up and its Flame Orb reinstalled. Serenity’s new door had the new lock affixed and oiled up, all brand new and to the highest standard Ember always held herself up to. On the town square’s notice board, Ember pinned a note stating her possibly long absence.


Now, It was time for the second and most difficult item of her list.


The smell of Uncle Rim’s Rawst Stew on the pathway, other times nostalgic and soothing, now served to only rile her already built anxiety. Once she reached the front of his house within the large oak, her paw hesitated to reach the bell. Would Uncle Rim feel abandoned, left behind? He knew Dad was important to her, but how understanding would he be? Her breath shuddered. She didn’t have a clue of what to do. Maybe… “act natural”? That is what many books said when in stressful situations. She always arrived at Uncle Rim’s with a smile, so that’s what her “natural” was. Yeah, smile.


She swung the bell and bared her teeth, curling her lips upwards. She didn’t even need a mirror to tell how forced it was. Lying and pretending were never things she ever thought about actively doing. That was a bad plan. It was not going to—


“Hello, young lady.” The door was open. Ember's gaze slowly drifted upwards to the Rillaboom. How could she have missed his steps? Focus. No time to improvise. Stick to the plan. She scrambled upright and waved.


“Hey Uncle Rim!” Her inflection clearly missing the spot.


“A bit early for lunch today." He hunched down and gave one of his signature one-handed hugs. "Is the young lady that hungry?”


“I-I’m… Yeah! I’m starving!” She forced a smile.


“Good! Because lunch is ready already.” He nodded and motioned her in. “I am just finishing setting up the table. You can already take a seat if you want.”


Ember entered the house, the air thicker than it had ever been. Her gaze fixated on the picture the wall, as she followed Uncle Rim to the kitchen. Would he feel abandoned? Would he be sad and lonely once she left? Wasn't it unfair for her to leave Uncle Rim behind? Her stomach churned. She was being a terrible Pokémon, leaving the only family member she had with her.

The Rillaboom finished setting the table and served her plate, upbeat as always. However, aside from her forced smiles and well-mannered ‘thank yous’, Ember spent the next few minutes eerily quiet. Each spoonful of the bitter-savory stew was a force fed lump down her throat she fought not to come back, and as lunch went on, it was harder and harder to keep up the facade.


“Ember. Is everything alright?” Uncle Rim had finally brought it up.


“Y-yeah… It is… everything is fine!” Ember looked away for a split second, but then looked at him and forced yet another smile. To sell it further, she took a mouthful of stew and stuffed it in her mouth. His frown didn’t go away. It didn’t work.


“It doesn’t seem like it. You have barely eaten half of your bowl, and you told me you were starving when you got here.”


Now, all the stew in her stomach threatened to back up. Pretending really never came to her. She took a deep breath, then another one, deeper. There was no escaping now. It was time to tell him.


Ember gingerly put the spoon on the table, but her heart began to race. Her paw went to the front pocket of her bag, cold running through her veins. By the time she pulled the folded piece of paper, the edges of her vision began to blur. She shook her head, but the scribbled letters meshed into each other.


“I…” Ember paused. She couldn’t focus on the letter, she couldn’t read it. She looked upwards, to Rim’s concerned gaze. It wasn’t going to work. A deep breath, then a deeper one. The letter wasn't going to work. It was better to just come clean. “I… received a letter from Dad.”


“Oh, another one?” Rim said and Ember replied with a nod. “What did it say? Did he give any news? Were they that bad for you to be like this?”


Were they that—“No! Thank Uxie, no!” Ember panicked, shaking her head vehemently. “Not bad news! The opposite, really! Dad is back and he wants me to meet him in Oran Stead!”


“Wait a minute. Onnophrius is back!?” Rim let out a single chuckle and clutched the side of the table. “This is actually fantastic news!”


“Yeah…” Ember said, deflated.


Rim’s smirk vanished. “But you don’t seem excited about it. I thought you were looking forward to meeting him.”


“Oh, nonono! It’s not that!” She once again panicked and shook her head. “I’m really really happy and anxious to see him! I really miss Dad, and I’ll be visiting Burr’s shop later to buy some supplies for the trip. I will leave for Oran Stead tomorrow at sunrise. That has already been decided and planned!”


“Right…” Uncle Rim slowly nodded his head. “Then… What is the problem?”


That question crashed on Ember like a collapsing foundation. The courage her panicked fit gave her to look at Uncle Rim directly in the eye vanished. Dread replaced its stead and forced her to avert her eyes. She glanced at the letter she wrote. She could hand him the letter with all the words she had carefully thought. It would be easier. But... If it were the other way around, being told would have been much Her shoulders lowered, she deflated even more. She had to speak it out herself.


“Well… The problem is that I… I don’t know for how long I’ll be out. I don’t know if Dad just wants to see me or if he wants me to go help him with his research. The letter he sent was weird, encrypted by a bunch of questions. I don’t know why, but I have this feeling that I will be away from Pidove’s Nest for a long time, and I… I don’t know when I’m going to see you again.”


Uncle Rim’s unmoving silence was deafening. Ember’s clutch on the paper became a stranglehold. Her throat ached from how much she held her tears.


“Ember… Look.” Rim leaned down to Ember’s level. It took everything in her to not flinch at his big eyes peering onto her. “You are going to meet your Dad, and I’m very happy that you will meet him.”


Ember’s gaze slowly went up to meet his. Uncle Rim had warmth in face, reassurance. She gulped the lump down, but her voice still came as a raspy whisper. “Y-you are?”


“Of course I am.” He smiled. “You are already of age, and if for some reason Onnophrius thinks you are mature and capable of aiding him with his complex projects and theories, then I can’t do anything but feel proud of you.”


“But… wouldn't I be abandoning you…?”


“Ember… You are not abandoning me. You are doing what you are supposed to do, which is to help change the world for the better with your bright intellect. I’ve been around enough Emmetts in my life to know that this day would come sooner or later. It was bound to happen." The Rillaboom said, gently reaching a hand and carressing her head. "If you are worried I'm going to be upset, don't. The opposite, really. I am happy for you that you will be meeting Onnophrius. So, please, you don’t worry about me, okay?”


Ember rubbed her eyes and stared deeply at his again. He really meant it. The hold on her heart eased a little. She finally mirrored his smile. “Okay.”


“Now, since you’re so worried about being distant from me.” Uncle Rim eyed Ember’s goggles. “These Safety Goggles you’re always wearing are the ones he gave you, right?”


“Mhm.” She nodded, removing them from her head and holding them in her paws. “Dad gifted them to me the day he left for his research. He said that it was a piece of him that would always protect me.”


“Alright.” Rim stood up and walked to the living room, saying loudly while out of sight. “Back when I was younger—still a Thwackey—I used to be part of a Rescue Team. This is actually how I met your father; an escort mission through Graphite Caldera, waaay to the Northwest of the continent. Onnophrius wanted to investigate some rocks because he had a theory that ones spewed by volcanoes had a lot more ore in them than the ones folks mined in caves. And just to sate your curiosity, the result was—quote-on-quote—’inconclusive’.”


Uncle Rim had quashed her urge to ask before she could even process the question. She nodded silently whilst hearing the Rillaboom fiddle with something.


“Now, I want you to imagine that Graphite Caldera is a tough Mystery Dungeon and that it was crawling with Fire-Types. Picture me, surrounded by lava and fire. It was not a good time, I will tell you. Anyone looking from outside would say that I was deadweight, or even worse, a detriment to the team. But… they would be wrong. They would be wrong because I had these.” Uncle Rim returned to the kitchen. In his large hands, the varnished oak sling and the hefty leaf-patterned pouch rested.


Ember stared at the items. Her ears twitched at the sight. She looked quizzically at Uncle Rim. “Isn’t that the sling we used to shoot cans with?”


Uncle Rim nodded. “Yes it is. This sling here has helped me not only protect myself, but many friends and allies alike many times—including your father. I remember you saying many times that, as an engineer, you can always fix anything as long as you have the right tools for the job. That is also true for Guild Members and adventurers like I was; when our combat capabilities are limited, one of the alternatives was to resort to these.” The Grass-type unbuttoned the pouch bag, and a bunch of small marble-sized stones rolled out of it.


Once again, Ember looked puzzled at what her uncle showed her. “Geopebbles?”


“Good eye. They might seem small, but they do pack quite the punch.” Uncle Rim chuckled, then tossed one into the air with a hand and grabbed it with the other. “They’re common and easy to find in any guild shop since most Pokémon just prefer to use their fire or water or electricity. But most forget that these little things can put a dent even on the hardest Steel-type shells or hit cleanly all these pesky little Ghost-types that like to phase through everything.”


“I… did not know that. I mean, I knew Geopebbles had elemental properties, but I didn't know they were that useful."


“Yeah. Most Guild Members underestimate them, but they're potent if used the right way. They’re fantastic tools for any job that might require combat. And that is why I want you to have them.” Uncle Rim pushed the items before her.


“You want me to…?” She stared at the pebbles and the sling for a few seconds, but then shook her head. “Uncle Rim, I really appreciate it, but I can’t accept it. It is yours, and it clearly has a lot of sentimental value to you—you said it used to be yours and— ”


Rim interrupted her with a head shake. He gingerly picked the items with one hand, and carefully planted them in her paws. “You always wear Onnophrius’ Goggles because it is a piece of him that will always protect you wherever you are. I want this gift to be the same while you travel to meet your Dad. You already know how to use them—you were always a good shot. Now that you know how strong they can be, I can be assured you can protect yourself if it ever comes to that.”


Ember lifted the sling and the pouch and stared at them. A piece of Uncle Rim she could always carry with herself. Her still damp eyes teared up again. She mouthed a “thank you”, but her voice strained into a raspy whisper. She gently placed the items on her lap and opened her arms wide. She leaned in closer and wrapped as much of Uncle Rim as she could. And Uncle Rim, with a single arm, hugged her back whole.

 

[Namohysip]

Hey there, here for United's review tag as well as Diner's review event! As you wished, since the chapters are so short, I ended up reading through everything you have so far to give overall feedback. Most of this will be a stream of consciousness, but I will have final overall thoughts at the end.

This was a cozy opening, though I did notice a typo in the first sentence where you capitalized Elder. You might need to go back and fix it since the first sentences in particular are very important for readers. It's the very first impression!

Anyway, it looks like we're following a Quilava named Ember, who seems to be living a normal life without anything in particular going on. The first two scenes are just establishing daily life and nothing more, probably some setup and foreshadowing but that's about it for now.

This thing with the letter and the quiz was very entertaining, and maybe if I was in a more ambitious mood I'd try to solve them myself in a way, though I think some of these required some "prior lessons" from that father if I wanted to reliably follow along with some of the logic. But that in itself shows that maybe they think similarly, showing that he wasn't away when she was very young. She picked up on his mannerisms, so to speak. And while a bit shoehorned in, it gave some world-building, too.

It did draw on for a while, though, when it was ultimately a puzzle to try to meet him somewhere discrete. It seemed like an "encrypted message." A way to make sure only she would figure out where to go in case it was intercepted, perhaps? In that sense, it made sense for it to be important research and it gives a sense of an inciting incident early on. The pacing of it all was a little on the slower side, though, for going through so much of the quiz. It accomplishes their personalities, though, of her father supposedly being a very accomplished nerd.

And then we get to the third chapter where she breaks the news to Uncle Rim and, presumably, the next chapter will start with her departing for the first time or something like that. The memento was touching and it's definitely telegraphed as being something important down the line, maybe something that'll come in clutch? That's what I'd think to see, at least. A touching end for a departure the chapter after. It wasn't a long stay, but you can at least tell that Ember had a nice, albeit lonely, upbringing.

Well! That marks three chapters plus that tiny interlude, and... admittedly, not a whole lot happened. Usually, after three chapters pass, you want to make sure there's some intrigue or firm hook, but right now there is only the vague promise of research that her father is doing. By now, I'd think that there would be an actual answer for it instead of all this talk about going and what would be left behind.

Maybe if there had been a subplot or some other things that tie into the main plot while taking place in the home village, there would be a stronger sense of departure that the reader would be able to latch onto. For now, though, it seemed like there was not a whole lot to go on aside from those couple of scenes at the start. I don't know. I'm conflicted about this opening. I see its importance as a backdrop, but maybe because it wasn't heavily integrated with strong hooks I think something is missing.

Still, one thing you have going for you is they're short chapters. If the next chapter absolutely gets into answers for what the story is about, I think you'll be in better standing with the structure. Hopefully, that's the direction you plan to go. Good luck!

 

[Kbludoh]

Chapter 4 - Briefing

“Hey, Vynn.” The Archen gently shook the Servine. “Time t’ wake up.”

“Five more minutes.” Vynn mumbled as he turned away.

“Come on…” Archie shook the Servine again. “We gotta be ready ‘fore Sable come in.”

“It’s not even morning yet.” Vynn pulled the blanket over his head, only the yellow leaf of his head peeking out. “And we walked the entire day yesterday to get here. We can sleep a little more.”

Nngh. Why did Vynn have to be this difficult every morning? Archie stared at the only lit Luminous Orb lamp from their shared inn room’s nightstand. Part of him really wanted to take the lamp and point at his friend’s face point blank. Today was too important to play games. But it was better to not take the Hyper Beam route. It wasn’t warranted. Not yet.

“We already discussed this. It ain’t only us. We’re part of a whole division now.” Archie tugged Vynn’s leaf, eliciting an “Ow” from the Servine. “Sable wake up ‘fore sunrise, so we gotta show we’re taking this as serious as ‘im.”

“Guh… Fiiine.” With a vine, Vynn tossed the blanket away. He groggily sat up and mumbled, looking at nowhere in particular. “But I’m calling dibs on Blast Seeds for the day.”

Archie had an unamused face when he peeled the bedding off his head. “’S not like we gonna be using ‘em anyway. ‘Less we go to Overgrown Farms. Now come on, Sable’s—”

The door of the room swung wide open. The overwhelming lights of the corridor blurred the imposingly tall silhouette. The Inteleon tilted his head, his crest nearly hitting the door’s frame in the process. The imposing golden eyes stared at the duo. They stared back, unmovingly.

“Good to know you’re awake. Saved the trouble.” Sable said nonchalantly, hand still on the handle. “Briefing in five at the inn’s diner. Bring your supplies.”

Just as quickly, the door closed. Vynn blinked, looked at Archie, then scowled. Archie had the biggest waste-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Told ya. ‘Ooo, Archie, we c’ organize our bags tomorrow. We’ll have enough time. Ain’t nobody wake up ‘fore sunr—.’”

The pillow came too fast to the Archen’s face. A loud thud hit the floor and a puff of feathers flew upwards.

“Too early for this.” Vynn mumbled as he dragged himself out of bed.

… … … …
… … … …
… … … …
… … … …​

The shades of blue pierced the windows of the rustic diner, contrasting with the darker tones surrounding the buildings of the town’s square. Several round tables with chairs of different sizes cluttered the spacious room, but they were all empty save for the trio. The Miltank server had told them it was still at least half an hour before the townsfolk would begin to trickle in, so it was the best opportunity to have a private meeting alongside breakfast. Efficiency, Sable had claimed. The strong scent of coffee alongside the sparse illumination of the large rustic chandelier brought a pleasant coziness, a homely feel. It was just like when the Archen was a wee-lad having breakfast before Pokémon School. Archie eyed Vynn. His friend still struggled to keep upright, the sound of Sable pouring yet another mug from the thermal jug jutting the Servine awake. The bird’s eyes turned to the Inteleon. It was Sable’s third mug and they had been there for what, five minutes? Did he need that much coffee to work or had he become addicted to it that badly?

Archie pushed the thought aside when the Water-Type pulled a folder from his backpack and began to fiddle with its various sheets of paper. The bird took a sip of his warm Moomoo Milk and another begrudging bite at his Plain-Seed Butter Banana-jelly sandwich. It wasn't like his mother’s, but breakfast wasn’t really breakfast without a Plain-Seed Butter Banana Jelly sandwich. Vynn still hadn’t touched his Oran tart. Maybe Archie could snag a bite of it later. His friend always took a while to work up an appetite, and he always left leftovers behind anyways.

“Archibald, Vynn.” Sable summoned their attention, clearing his throat. The Servine groggily nodded and yawned, whilst the Archen’s eyes gave the Inteleon his undivided attention. “As members of the Lunar Guild, you must be aware that the organization works tirelessly to aid all Pokémon who require any and all kinds of assistance in the Moon Continent. Pokémon go to the guilds with requests while others form teams to fulfill them. Having risen to Bronze Rank as Team Stargazers, I believe you have had the opportunity to get yourself acquainted with the inner workings of the system and with the importance of our work. Would that be a correct assessment?”

“Yeah.” Archie nodded enthusiastically, then shoved the rest of the sandwich in his mouth. If talking were to begin, eating would be on the backburner. So let’s get it over with already, right?

“While there are teams who specialize in hunting outlaws, in escorting Pokémon through dangerous territory, or even in exploring Mystery Dungeons, events that happened in neighboring continents over the past century have brought into light a different demand. The Air Continent and the meteor coming from the sky, the Grass Continent and entire areas being frozen in time, the Water Continent and Pokémon all over the world becoming stone. While all of those events had many things in common, one stood out above all; the world at large was caught by surprise and they required an outsider to deal with them. So, with the intention of not having to rely on that, the Lunar Guild’s Crisis Division was born.”

Archie snuck a glance at Vynn. The Servine had his eyes closed, lightly snoozing upright on his seat. Archie’s blood ran cold. Yeah, it was all information they already knew, but it was Sable talking about it. Wait. Did Sable notice it? He didn’t seem to react to Vynn asleep, and he just kept talking. The bird adjusted himself in his seat, tugging at his partner’s tail with his clawed feet as he did so. He hoped it would be enough to wake the Servine up.

“The Crisis Division specializes in both scouting and quickly responding to both Pokémon-induced calamities and natural disasters, and for the past two decades it has racked an enviable track record through an unquantifiable amount of hard work, dedication, and perseverance. The division goes through thick and thin to ensure that, no matter how bleak or insurmountable the situation looks, there will be Pokémon out there who will stand tall and assure aid and help will get to them. We are the first and last line of defense. So, to be able to provide that, all of the Crisis Division members are held to the highest standards.” Sable paused and took a long look at the duo. “Thus, with Team Stargazers joining its ranks as apprentices, so will you.”

The bird glimpsed at his still snoozing friend, and the loudest panicked scream echoed in his mind. There was no way Sable hadn’t noticed now. Archie had to salvage the situation somehow.

“Ya c’ count on us, Sable!” An eager elbow to the rib spurred the Servine’s eyes open and a lost look at Archie. The bird had the fiercest and most determined look in his eyes. “We won’ disappoint the Crisis Division, right, Vynn?”

“Yeah, yeah! We won’t disappoint!” Vynn gave a sheepish smile at Sable. The Inteleon’s expression was an unreadable blank.

“Now that we are on the same page.” Sable moved on. “Allow me to brief you on your first mission.”

Archie scooted closer to the table when the Inteleon pulled a long cylindrical leather case, taller than the Archen himself. From it, Sable produced a massive map, and then unceremoniously unrolled it, covering all of the table. From a side pouch, he pulled a few tacks and pinned it. Sable must have done this a lot of times, considering how quickly he set it all up.

Sable cleared his throat. “For the past two weeks, Meteor Pass has been facing relentless storms. As previously stated, the Crisis Division has been…”

The Archen’s eyes curiously darted all over the detailed paper of the Moon Continent and its crescent moon’s shape. He had seen maps before—he had even seen the entire world’s map a few times—but never one with this amount of detail. Mountains, forests, rivers, canyons; it had everything there, all identified in this pretty, round-y handwriting he had always tried to mimic but never managed to. Many large dots also littered the map with dashing lines snaking, splitting and connecting them. They were all towns, villages and roads, many Archie had no idea existed. It was so cool! However, what really set his beak agape was when he noticed the tinted geometrical shapes millimetrically splayed in several spots on the map. They had mapped out the perimeters of Mystery Dungeons too!? No. Way! He had to snag a copy of this map!

The sudden silence screamed at Archie. He looked up. The Inteleon was looking at him expectantly. Had Sable asked a question? Was he waiting for some sort of confirmation? Archie was like a Deerling in the headlights.

“Okay… Let me see if I got this right…” Vynn spoke up. “We’ve come to Oran Stead to gather Oran berries to take to Meteor Pass. Is that right?”

Sable’s gaze turned to Vynn. The stale air Archie didn’t even notice he was holding left his lungs. Nice save, Vynn.

“Yes and no. Oran Stead is the single largest producer of Oran berries in the continent. Despite the fact Oran berries can grow pretty much anywhere, the ones produced here last longer and have a stronger healing factor than others found in the wild. We are here to secure a large shipment of Oran so our Navigators may take them to our efforts in Meteor Pass.”

“What’s the difference?” Vynn blurted out.

Archie stared at him with a frown. Vynn looked back and mouthed a “what?” Archie shook his head; it was not the time nor the place for the sass. Vynn responded with a ‘too early for this’ head shake, letting out another yawn.

“Gathering is an inaccurate word for the actions we will be executing,” Sable said. “The Lunar Guild has an agreement with the local farmers; in exchange for our services, they supply us with sealed crates of Oran berries. So, yes, we will be gathering a shipment of Oran Berries, but no, we will not be out in the fields hand picking them if that was what you were implying.”

“Got it! Secure shipment!” Archie intervened, forcing a smile. He hoped Sable wouldn’t hold them for this little bout later.

Unphased, Sable pulled three purple tacks and pinned to the map; one close to its center, another in the middle of the upper wing of the crescent-moon shaped continent, and the last one directly to the South of the middle one.

“Moving on, the missions the locals often request are usually simple. But as you can see on the map, Lunar City is in the middle of the continent while Oran Stead is in its far Northeast. The low rewards offered by the Lunar Guild’s official channels coupled with the distance rarely attracts teams to come and fulfill the guild's part of the bargain. And that’s where Team Stargazers comes into play. Your job is to fulfill their accumulated demands while I negotiate the conditions and secure the shipment. This paper here is your first official assignment.”

Their first mission in the Crisis Division!? Sweet! Archie eagerly swiped the paper from Sable’s hand and haphazardly unfolded it. Vynn gave the slightest lean to spy over Archie’s shoulder.

“Tiny Mushrooms… Road t’ th’ East… Border with Tranquill Forest…” Archie mumbled as he read the paper. Upon reaching the end, his brows furrowed. “Wait a minute. Rank E!?”

Sable stared at Archie. “Is that a problem?”

“You know we c’ bite more ‘an that!” Archie protested.

“Everyone who joins the Crisis Division is keenly aware no mission is below them.” The Inteleon said with squinted eyes.

“But there’s Overgrown Farms along th’ South o’ that road, between ‘ere and Tranquill Forest.” Archie retorted. “Everyone know that where there’s Mystery Dungeon, there's requ—”

“No.” Sable interrupted.

“But’sa easy dungeon an—”

“Your current mission does not require any Mystery Dungeons delving.” The Inteleon said matter-of-factly.

“But—”

Archie’s open beak was suddenly filled by Oran tart. Archie stared indignantly at Vynn, who tiredly had a vine over his neck and a light shake of his head. Cut it.

“Repeating, your current mission does not involve any explorations in Overgrown Farms.” Sable stated bluntly. “You two are to steer clear from it and stick to your assignments. Have I made myself clear?”

Archie had the biggest scowl as he looked away and angrily chewed the pastry in his mouth.

“Have I made myself clear?” Sable glared at Archie. The Archen forcefully gulped the tart. He didn’t know what was the hardest to swallow, the dry pastry or this crappy assignment. He huffed, but relented with a nod.

“Good.” The Inteleon said, unphased. “It has to be done by noon.”

Okay, now Sable was really pushing it. Not only was it crappy, but it also had a tight deadline as well? Vynn’s vine went to Archie’s mouth before he could protest again.

“It will be done.” The Servine intervened with a forced smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

Archie glared at Vynn. His friend’s look said it again; cut it. Sable was just stepping on them with dumb fresh-recruits work.

“Now that this is settled,” Sable said, back to his blank self. “I want a detailed run down of the inventory you have prepared for today…”

 

[Kbludoh]

Chapter 5 - Glider

“Found another one!”

Archie emotionlessly looked at the Servine jumping from under a large oak root, the Grass-type holding a tiny red-and-yellow mushroom in his leafy stubby arm. Archie looked up at the sky. Noon was still far far away. Vynn waved a vine and the Archen robotically opened the linen bag, eyes still to the sky. The snake tossed the little fungus like a child tossing a paper ball in a trash bin. It went into a spectacular arc upwards, hitting the topside of Archie’s beak before bouncing and falling square into the bag. Archie had no reaction.

“Aaaand Vynn scores another point!” The Servine cheered, raising his arms to the forest and bowing to an invisible crowd. “His performance in this match is amazing!”

Archie’s shoulder slumped as he tied the bag again. Despite Vynn always making a party out of nothing, not even his uproarious nature was enough to put a dent in the Archen’s rainy demeanor. The bird sighed. Sometimes he wished he could take disappointments as lightly as his friend did.

“I think we cleared this area,” Vynn said. Archie replied with a deadpan nod. “I’ll check a little bit further into the forest along the road. We’re not supposed to go downhill to the South ‘cause of the Mystery Dungeon, so you can go uphill along the forest border to the North. I’ll catch up to you in a minute.”

Without a peep, the bird turned and marched where directed. If Vynn was excited enough to lead, then let him lead. As the Rock-Type made his way, he spotted a tree unmarked by either his claws or his friend’s vines. He looked under its raised root, and there it was, the “coveted” prize standing short in all of its mediocre glory. Another Tiny Mushroom.

Yay. One more for the bag. Fantastic.

‘Everyone who joins the Crisis Division knows no mission is below them.’ Of course you can say that, Sable! You are already famous and well-accomplished!

‘You gotta make it fun and exciting!’ Like it was possible, Vynn! The forest had tranquil in its name, for Cresselia’s sake!

Archie felt the bag. A sigh escaped. Only halfway through. He clambered up the sloped forest, traversing the woods alongside a steep hill. All the trees he passed were already marked, and eventually it led to a craggy wall. Another sigh. He had to climb it.

From its top, he whistled sharply and waved, keeping his squinting eyes honed at the squiggly green and cream line until it waved back. Vynn could follow his track now. His gaze went a little bit up to the view at wing and it had his heart fluttering. There was so much to see from up here. The dirt road snaked the woods, even the shimmering perimeter of Overgrown Farms was visible far away, further downhill, and Vynn... Hah, he was so tiny! How would it be to jump from here, wings spread? Yeah, his previous attempts at actual flight had been… dubious at best, but he could at least glide for a bit. Vynn even tagged along a few times. The aftermath of the crashes never really mattered; after all, the unfiltered freedom of the sky was unlike any other.

The bird turned around and his smile vanished. Large roots and trees filled his view, a dozen or so more fungi scarcely sprawling the ground beneath them. Archie let his head fall backwards dejectedly. This whole task was mind numbing. They had become the first apprentices of the division that historically never took anyone under their wing. Rescuing Pokémon who were caught in the middle of calamities, being side-by-side with the best of the best, braving tirelessly against the forces of nature that threatened the world... Being part of the Crisis Division was supposed to be exciting! Like, he would finally be able to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a world-renowned Guild Member! Be recognized, make a difference, make his family proud!

Nope. He was stuck there, in the middle of a boring forest, collecting stupid mush—

Sniff sniff.

A faint yet intoxicatingly sweet aroma tugged his senses. Archie froze. It couldn’t be it, could it? A light breeze from further ahead brought more of the smell. No, it had to be. Archie followed his nostrils, completely ignoring the roots and the mushrooms he passed by. He navigated uphill, passing by oversized slashed tree roots, gashed tree trunks and splintered branches. With each minute of his trek, the scent grew stronger. After clearing a few bushes, a clump of fallen trees were slumped against a 15-foot cracked rock wall. Oozing from the fractured trees, an amber viscous liquid trickled down and pooled over the dirty ground. He could not contain the chuckle.

“Pull all m’ feathers an’ make a pillow with ‘em!”

Honey!

He mischievously clasped his wing-claws, making a beeline towards the precious nectar. A single bottle of honey was worth a fortune already, and the tree was leaking, what, a gallon? Forget the mushrooms! A few jars would have the Lunar Guild guffawing at the sheer amount of Oran berries they would be able to afford! For sure, even Sable would be proud of this finding. Hah!

“Archie! Where are you? And why did you leave so many Tiny Mushrooms behind?” Vynn's voice came from far behind, muffled by some sort of buzzing.

“Here!” Archie shouted, rushing towards the amber liquid and plopping both his supplies and the mushroom-filled bags. “Y’ain’t gonna believe what I found ‘ere!”

“What was it?” Vynn shouted back, his voice closer, still muffled like before.

“Honey!” Archie replied absently, far too engrossed in his search for the jar.

“What? Can’t hear you with all this buzzing.” Vynn yelled. “What did you—”

Archie straightened up. Buzzing? There had been some buzzing, hadn’t it? He looked back. His partner had his head poking out of a bush, wide-eyed, white as a ghost, staring above the Archen. He craned his neck upwards. A Beedrill, twice his height, was glaring at him, antennae twitching.

“Hi.” Archie forced the biggest sheepish smile.

The Beedrill spat a viscous purple drool at Archie. The bird sidestepped the gob, the splatter making a vile sizzling sound. Toxic.

“Thief!” The Beedrill shouted. “You will not steal from the hive!”

In an aerial flourish, the bug descended with its stinger. Archie tumbled backwards, splinters of wood branches narrowly missing him. The buzzing intensified. Archie glimpsed a dozen or so Beedrill begin to squeeze out from the cracks of the rocky wall.

“They swarming!” Archie shouted.

Dirt lifted up as Archie’s claws propelled him towards the Servine and the bushes. The wheezing whistle had him lose his balance. The spike struck right where he had been. He used a wing to set himself upright from his stumble.

“RUN!”

Archie’s yell broke Vynn out of his trance and to a sprint. Archie jumped through the leafage, stumbling on his awkward landing on the root-ridden woods. The Archen glanced at the swarm already encroaching. The duo swiftly jumped from oversized root to dirt path to oversized root, however the Beedrill were just as deft in navigating the wooden pillars of the forest. One gained enough ground to get ahead and encircle a tree.

“Duck!” Archie yelled. Vynn did, and the Archen’s throat lumped for a split second. A rock propelled from his mouth right at the charging bee. It was swatted off, falling head first to the dirt.

They kept the stride. Two more Beedril came with a sweeping motion from their flank. Vynn’s clean vine strike sent one reeling against a tree, Archie’s spat the Rock Throw which made the other crash hard against a clump of roots. A few more paces and four blocked their path, with one quickly closing in from behind.

“Vynn! Do ya whirlwind thing!”

“On it!”

Vynn breathed in for what was like forever and blew hard. A purple swirling tornado began to form from his breath. The Servine willed the Twister forward, and the winding draconic force was way too fast for the bugs to react. They were all launched in different directions, thuds and cracks echoing all around.

Triggered by the attack landing on its allies, the Beedril behind them charged. Archie spat another lump of rock, but the bee dodged in a well-timed barrel roll. Its arm-lance charged with a vicious purple coat, aimed dead center at the bird. Panic settled in. Too fast. He flinched. A loud ‘katching’ screeched. There was no pain. He dared to open an eye. Vynn firmly held a hexagonal barrier as he stood between Archie and the Beedrill’s poison-laced stinger. Protect. Not wasting another beat, Archie jumped above the bee and spewed another rock, point blank. It was left as a twitching mess on the floor.

They resumed their way downhill, but the swarm was persistent. Whenever one fell, another took its place. Vine Whips and Rock Throws were enough to gain some breathing room, but their stride came to a halt when they reached the slope too steep and too tall to jump down.

“Dead end!” Vynn shouted.

Archie eyed the forest beneath them. They couldn’t climb down, they would be sitting Duckletts for the Beedrill. His narrowed eyes spotted the dirt line among the trees. The main road was just a little further ahead. It could be a landing strip. He glanced at his wings. Everytime he tried to fly, it was pure disaster. With Vynn, even worse. The swarm was approaching though. They had no choice.

“Vynn. Glider!” Archie said.

“Glider!?” Vynn stared dumbfounded at Archie. “Really!?”

“‘S th’ only way! Ya Twister’s the cue. Grab my legs wi’ ya vines.”

“You crazy cuckoo.” Vynn chuckled in between rapid breaths. “Got it!”

Archie took a few steps back. He glanced at the swarm coming. His partner's purple swirl materialized beside him. The whirling purple wheezing right past him was his cue.

Step, step, long step, jump.

Archie held his wings as wide as he could. Time stopped. All the rush, the adrenaline, the noise, it was minuscule, an afterthought when his descent stalled and the winds kept him afloat. An euphoric smile crept on his face. He was flying.

A vine wrapped around his leg, and the sudden weight tugged him to a free fall. His core chilled, desperation hit. He flapped his wings frantically, fighting the air. It eased gravity‘s pull to a gliding fall.

The buzzing, however, followed. The Beedrill were hot on their tail, the swarm reduced to just half a dozen. Archie struggled to weave in-between the trees. One came flying with a purple stinger, homing right into Archie’s head. Vynn swatted it off at the last second, falling in line behind them. Another came from the other flank and Vynn veered it off course again. Archie could not compete with the Beedrill’s swiftness. They had to do something.

“Vynn!” Archie barely dodged a tree. “Blast Seed!”

“A-are you sure?” Vynn whipped another bee. “That sounds like a really bad idea.”

“Do it!”

The remaining six clumped together, a formation homing to strike from behind. Vynn munched a yellow seed with an impish smile.

“Boom!” the Servine shouted.

The explosion left Vynn’s mouth and rocketed Archie forward. The trees were zooming way too fast. He swiveled left, narrowly missing a fallen trunk. He glimpsed the road, they were near. He dove down, a branch grazed his head feathers. A wide turn right and he somehow managed to align himself with the road. He descended, but he went way quicker than anticipated, Vynn’s tail scraping the dirt. Archie tried to pull upwards, but they were too heavy to gain height.

He glanced at the road further ahead.

There was a Quilava in the path.

They were too fast to dodge.

… … … …
… … … …
… … … …
… … … …

Archie groaned. His entire body ached. He slowly moved his wings, then his legs. Everything seemed to be in place. What had happened? Honey… Blast Seed… Beedrill… Wait a minute, Beedrill!

In a single motion, he was seated, eyes darting side to side. There was no one. Well, no one except a dirt and dried-leaf covered Servine who was already sitting with the widest toothy grin.

“Dude! That was so freaking awesome!” Vynn threw his leaf arms to the air. “I did not know Blast Seeds could make you go ‘woosh’! Out of all times we glided, this one was by far the best! We gotta do that again!”

Archie glared at Vynn with squinting eyes. Of course he did. It didn’t last long, though. “We lost th’ Beedrill?”

“The Blast Seed did the job.” Vynn had the proudest smirk.

Archie sighed in relief. They escaped the swarm. In the moment of reprieve, he leaned back, supporting himself in a wing as he began preening his leaf-and-twig-ridden feathers. After the Blast Seed, he tried to land them on the road. They rolled down a hill after they crashed onto a Pokémon in the middle of the road. His eyes widened.

“The Quilava!”

“Huh?” Vynn had a brow raised.

“The Quilava!” Archie repeated, standing up. “Tried t’ land, but there was this Quilava an’ I couldn’ dodge ‘em in time! ”

“Oh. You mean the one right behind us?” The Servine casually pointed using a vine.

“The one behind—” A groan interrupted the bird. Archie looked back. No one. He then looked down behind him. A blue and cream blob of fur wearing Safety Goggles slowly opened their eyes. He quickly scrambled up and offered a wing. “Oy! You ‘kay?”

“I… am. I think.” The Quilava slowly sat up, accepting it.

“Didn’ break a bone or anythin’?” Archie really hoped she didn’t.

“I don’t think so.” She looked over at herself. She winced as she moved her left arm though. “But my shoulder hurts.”

Only her shoulder hurts. Of all the bad things, a lesser one. Archie inspected closer. The bones looked like they were in place, but there was a big purple area right where she pointed. A wave of guilt swept through him. He was pretty sure it was the imprint of his beak. Cresselia, please, may it only be a bruise and nothing more. He had to help her, heal her, make it up somehow.

“‘Right.” Archie said more to himself than to the Quilava. “Lemme grab an Oran, t’will make you feel better.”

Archie reached for his bag. His claw only found wind. He panicked, his head snapping left and right, then around him. Where was it? He jogged through his memory. The honey, the swarm. He facepalmed hard. He had left it right next to the Beedrill hive when he bolted. She needed aid though. Vynn still had his supplies though. He glanced at his partner.

“Oy! Vynn! Gimme an Oran! I lost m’ bag a’ th’ Beedrill.”

“Oh. You don’t have to worry about it.” The Quilava tried to raise her arms and began to shake her head, but she flinched as she moved her shoulder. Archie gave a concerned look. The Quilava gave a sheepish smile, then began to shuffle through her bag with her good arm. “I have brought some with me.”

“Nah. This my fault. Was too fast ‘n’ couldn’ dodge in time.” Archie reinforced his mea culpa, glancing back at his partner again. “Oy! Vynn! An Oran! Quick!”

“Nonono. It’s fine! Really! I brought Oran exactly for situations like this.” She glimpsed at his worried gaze. Unceremoniously, she pulled the blue round fruit from her bag and grinned. “See! Right here! You don’t have to worry about it!”

That didn’t sit right. He was the one who ran over her, the least he could do was to provide the Oran berry. He would have to at least replace it later.

“Oh. By the way, my name is Ember.” She placed the Oran on her lap and extended her good paw, keeping the same friendly grin.

The bird looked dumbfounded. He had screwed up hard and she didn’t even get mad. Shame, guilt and relief clashed. He had to mirror her friendliness though, even if he didn’t deserve it. He extended a wing.

“Archie, an’ m’ friend here’s…”

“Archie.” A vine tugged at the bird’s shoulder.

“Vynn.” The bird swatted the vine away. “An’ sorry ‘bout crashing onto ya. We were collecting Tiny Mushrooms, but got too close t’ a Beedrill hive. We flew t’ get away, but was a bit too fast t’ dodge you when tryina land.” Archie smiled sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ember smiled back. “Beedrill are known to be quite aggressive when they feel like their hive is being threatened. I can totally underst—.”

“Archie.” The vine tugged again.

“Stop it!” Archie frowned at Vynn’s interruption, slapping the vine away again. Seeing the Quilava’s awkwardness at the exchange, he took the lead. “Nah. ‘Twas on me. Still feel bad ‘bout it.”

“Please, don’t.” The Quilava insisted, paw behind her head. “I was distracted and—”

“Archie.”

“What?” The bird snapped, turning to Vynn with a scowl.

“Look around us.”

Begrudgingly, he did so. There weren’t any oaks like before. Instead, thick and impossibly tall bushes and trees surrounded them, the foliage so dense it was impossible to look through. Fruits grown from these distorted natural walls were a mix of rotten fermented Oran berries and underdeveloped tiny green specks. The few patches of the sky visible were a wavy wobbly haze of blue and purple with no sun in sight. The ground was a mushy fluffy dirt, with short patches of vibrant green weed intertwined with sickly dried ones.

His feathers bristled, his heart sank. How did it happen? How did they even get here? He remembered flying to the road, crashing onto Ember and then… rolling downhill. Along the road to the South was…

“Are we in Overgrown Farms?” Ember asked, head tilted.

Archie gulped dry. “Crap.”

 

[Kbludoh]

An update!

For those who have read the fanfic prior to March 1st, 2024; a prologue was added in order to better hash out the tone expected in the story. It does not change any of what has been written afterwards, but it may add a new perspective and should appropriately hook new readers. It was added in the original post, as to not change the order of what was already posted prior.

Some slight editing were made to Chapter 1 (Pidove's Nest) with some smaller improvements to grammar and prose, as well as some minor modifications to better the dialogue flow in certain parts. They do not have any impact in any of the content; they are just quality-of-life changes.

 

[Ambyssin]

So, I wonder if the new prologue was written partly in response to Namo's earlier feedback. Adding in something to maybe grab readers' attentions and pull them in. The biggest takeaway is that it's a shady conversation with some shady characters. I think you could've been a biiiit more generous with information. Outside of there being some experiment and, if I'm reading "South" right, multiple continents, that's about all I could really gleam from the prologue. That and Liepard is like Dark Matter where she practically breaks out in hives if shown kindness lol.

It does, however, point out a few little mechanical odds and ends. It can basically be chalked up to "English as a language sucks to write even for native speakers." For starters, a lot of the sentences in the new prologue have a similar length and cadence, using a lot of strange splices instead of just ending in periods. A couple of examples of how this could be changed...

Blue dotted the green canopies like a part of the sky shared its color with the land. Oran berries which gave ‘Oran Stead’ its name.

This place reeked. Its happiness was vile.

A lot of places I found commas would've flowed better as full stops IMO.

The next one's dialogue formatting. English sucks for dialogue formatting. There's no getting around it. Every time you want to use a speaking verb like "said" or "asked" or "cried," you need to end the dialogue with a comma, not a period. And then the pronoun that goes with the verb should be lower case. Like this...

I am positive she will absolutely love it," he said

The exception to this is when you end dialogue with exclamation points or question marks. Then you can capitalize the pronoun. Yes, it sucks. No, there aren't many good guides to getting this right out there online.

There are also instances where I think you have certain phrases in mind that I don't quite think are translating well into English. Like here.

“I am mostly pleased to have your visit, Ga—”

This sounds to me like "Nice to see you" or "Glad you could make it." But it's hard to tell.

The proper first two chapters, though short, are fairly quiet. There's nothing wrong with showing the protagonist's regular life before they go off into whatever the main plot is. And I think that letter's kick starting things? I mean, her dad was gone five years...

Since he left for his research five years ago, you’ve always been here for me whenever I felt lonely.

(I think this actual dialogue's a bit weird, btw. Her uncle would know this. It comes off as Ember stating her backstory for the readers' sake.) So to contact her out of the blue with what's basically a cipher sounds a lot of plot bells to me.

The puzzles themselves are... probably not something most people would get off the bat. And the fact that a good chunk of the second chapter is spent walking readers through it is good for showing Ember's brainiac nature, but it feels rather... video gamey for a fic. I've done the same things before and other fic authors kinda raised their brow at me. Even with shorter chapters, I wouldn't use that time to create elaborate puzzles.

The other thing about the ciphers themselves is that they're, uh... very human in nature. And I'm not sure if that's a big hint toward something. Because we have this...

This story happens at an undisclosed time in the future after the events of all Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games, in an adapted setting in a completely original continent.

Which suggests that the world should absolutely not know about things like the binary number system. That feels far too human for this cute little world of magical creatures. Either that means there have been some developments in this time, this is related to the plot in some way, or this is your own personal interests. If it's the latter, that's totally fine. Write what you love. It sucks me personally out of the fic, but that's because I'm operating on the internal logic of the canon PMD world being very magical and not so much mechanical.

On the whole, I think it's a solid start, though. Especially if this is your first fic. Kudos.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, I saw that you were starting out a new story and were looking for feedback from other readers. I was a bit tight on energy tonight and looking for something a bit more bite-sized to dive into, so this felt like as good a fit as any for something to try and review tonight to see what what this story you’re working on’s all about.

Prologue

Okay, just going ahead and getting it out of the way before I dive into your chapter content, but it probably makes sense to go back and tweak the names of your threadmarks since they all say ‘Main Story’ at the moment, and you could very easily get them to read stuff like ‘PROLOGUE - It Looms’ with a five-second edit through the ‘Edit Threadmark’ pencil-shaped button visible just next to your threadmark name on a given post.

Alright, with that bit of mechanical nitpicking done with, let’s get into your actual story content:

Spoiler

The noon’s sun towered over the town’s Oran Stead and its surrounding fields of meticulously lined trees. Blue dotted the green canopies like a part of the sky shared its color with the land; the Oran berries which gave ‘Oran Stead’ the town its name. The liveliness of the Pokémon in the main plaza made the farming town even more welcoming, bustled with joyous chatter and ridden with and the smell of fresh baked pastries lingered in the air, as the liveliness of the Pokémon passing through made the farming town’s atmosphere even more welcoming. The wood-and-stone houses and buildings packed closely together had carried rustic, mismatched finishes, the kinds that melded in a mismatch with one another not to denote— ones made from not a lack of finesse, but to thrive on the an acceptance of imperfections and to embrace of differences.

Its All the residents extended bought into that eye-rolling concept to all Pokémon, and that very thought had her made [NAME] gag.

I might be going a bit out on a limb, but there were a lot of phrasing bits that I didn’t quite see eye-to-eye on in this opening. I also wonder if this would be a good opportunity to just namedrop the character whose perspective we’re following here.

The top-down view from the tallest building showed gave a clear view of the entire village it all to the female Liepard clearly. Way too clearly. The coziness, the happiness, the hundreds of lives devoid of worries. Her fur bristled and acid burned deep in her throat while she scanned the movement the moving crowds. To find him, she would have to think like these townsfolk, these… disgusting hairless little Mareep who weren’t even aware Lycanroc existed. They had no claws, no teeth, not even electricity, yet they waddled happily as if no danger in the world would ever befall them. This place reeked, its happiness was vile, and it was nauseating to just be here being there, to degrade degrading to lower her mind down to their pathetic level.

Some more odds and ends rephrasing suggestions that I have for this paragraph here. Though I see that Ms. Liepard is just Ms. Congeniality here. Does she have the Grinch somewhere in her family tree or something? ^^;

He had picked this place on purpose. He knew she would eventually have to meet him. The damned smirk, feasting on watching her squirm whilst navigating through the a sea of sickening cheer all around her molasses. She could already see it, and it had her hissing.

She straightened her posture and swallowed the bile back. Lingering on these thoughts would accomplish nothing but prolong her stay. Now, where would he be? Her sharp eyes did not spot him out in the open. There were several pies and cakes lined against the bakery’s open windows. She could stake it out — he would surely gorge on them later — but that would take way longer than she could stomach through. Her gaze drifted towards a large group of Pokémon entering a building. The diner was a safe bet. Cheerful, boastful, repugnant. He would get himself surround himself with in that kind of filth, especially at its peak time.

I’m… getting the distinct sensation that we’re following a villain’s POV right now. Which probably doesn’t bode well for what’s going to become of this village in the near future.

Like clockwork he was there, seated in one of the stools and having a spirited exchange with the Miltank server. The Liepard relaxed her posture, shoving her repulsion deep in her mind. The meeting would be over quick, she would last survive. She slithered slunk around the eatery’s crowded filled tables of the crowded eatery, maintaining her poise despite the uproarious conversations of the patrons gnawing at her ears.

Once she reached the counter, one swift jump and she was sitting one stool away from him. His shared hearty laugh with the server was like a Twineedle to her eardrums. She faced him and the capsaicin smell rammed against her nostrils. It came from the half-eaten Tamato tart soaked in spicy Cheri sauce sitting on his plate.

“What can I get for ya, ma’am?” a voice behind the counter asked. The Miltank was staring at her, smiling.

I’m now curious as to how on earth these two relate to each other. Since whoever this Lycanroc is, he’s clearly a hell of a lot more of a ‘people person’ than this Liepard is.

“Noth—”

“You can get my feline friend one of your irresistible Tamato tarts, Bessie. I am positive she will absolutely love it.” He said, punctuating with a chef’s kiss. “You can put it in my tab along anything else she orders.”

“You’re too kind!” Bessie said, chuckling. “Anything to drink?”

Liepard: “I’ll take some whiskey, since I can already tell that I’m going to need everything I can get to blot this all out of memory.”

“Water.” The Liepard replied quickly. He would roll all over her if she didn’t intervene. “Ice cold.”

Whelp, I can see that someone isn’t as eager as I thought about blotting this whole episode out from memory. ^^;

“Alright! An ice cold water and a Tamato tart. I’ll be right back!” The Miltank nodded and left.

The Liepard shivered, her stomach convulsed. Why did the server have to look at her with that disgusting smile? It took a few deep breaths to recompose herself. The Dark-Type Lycanroc’s sight drifted to him. He was cross-legged, lackadaisical, an idle smirk mindlessly directed at her. He was lavishing in her hidden plight. Her tail thrashed, her claws dug into the wooden stool. He knew exactly what he was doing. The nerve.

The ice-filled glass bowl and the spicy tart plate thudding on the counter snapped her back to the oppressively joyous room. The server winked and left with a trail to the other tables. Her The Liepard’s stomach wrenched again.

I swear, it’s like this Liepard really is like the Grinch. >:V

“I am mostly pleased to have your visit, Ga—”

“Don’t.” The Liepard interrupted, then shoved her snout in the water, desperately lapping it.

“As charming as ever.” He chuckled. She glared back and his smirk widened. “Good to know you missed me. I missed you too.”

Yeah, whoever this Lycanroc is clearly having the time of his life messing with this Liepard. >:V

“You didn’t.” She side-eyed him, the water trickling down her throat easing her nausea. It wasn’t cold enough to be as effective as she hoped, but it did enough the job.

“Fair.” He conceded, shrugging, eyeing the cat as she rubbed the water off her face.

Huh, neat little xenofiction touch there. It’s one of those things that gets commonly overlooked in the PMD fic space, but it definitely helps give Liepard a more “cat”-like vibe.

The Liepard craned her spine upright, her posture back to its feline grace. Her gaze drifted to the tart in his hand. The soggy pastry disintegrated at the clumsy bite, the filling overflowing down his hand. He flicked his fingers, plopping the remnants on the plate as he reached for a napkin dispenser. He wiped his hands and the sides of his beak whilst slowly chewing way more than he should have bitten.

She couldn’t point out tell what was worse: his irritating attitude or his severe lack of manners. But judging his flaws again was not why she was there, otherwise she would stay all day; she could not handle this place at all. Straight to business so that way she could just get out of here.

I kinda wonder if it’d have made sense to explicitly namedrop these two in the prologue unless there is a very specific plot reason that you’re not just going and naming both of these characters in this sequence since… yeah, it wouldn’t be hard at all to bring up these two’s names in conversation, especially if they’re supposed to be relatively close to one another.

“We lost ‘it’.”

He smiled with his mouth still full. “Don’t we lose ‘it’ every couple of months?”

Her tail thrashed once more. Of course he wouldn't take this seriously. When had he ever? “Permanently, this time.”

He chuckled. The chuckle turned to a giggle, then escalated to full blown laughter, cackle, and wheeze. After a full minute of it passed, he glanced at her unamused eyes. It winded down to contrived giggles and he wiped the tears with a few unused napkins.

Wait, so that didn’t attract anybody else’s attention in this diner? At all? .-.

Liepard: “I swear to gods. Of all the Pokémon to get stuck as my partner, it just had to be you.”

“What is so funny?” She said, exasperated.

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing. But the thought of years and years down the drain like that. I don’t know about you, but it’s… It’s hilarious.” He had another burst of laughter. “How did you manage to— Actually, don’t tell me. It’s not important anyways. It was a wild Swanna chase from the beginning.”

Ominous chatter is ominous there. Though I’m not convinced that this is going to be as pithy a matter as what Lycanroc’s reaction is indicating.

Her eyes narrowed, her teeth gritted, her gaze homed to his neck. She could tolerate his attitude towards her, but not towards the Moonless’s plans. A sharp bolt of electricity to lock his muscles and a claw to the neck would end him quickly.

Oh, so these two really are villains scheming in public. Lovely.

“You could try. The whole diner would love to see you fail at that.” He stared right in her eyes, an unsettling calm grin plastered on his face.

The taunt grated her already thin patience. Her grip cracked the stool beneath her. Her claws glowed purple, faint trickles of electricity materialized over her fur. No one should ever get away with this level of disrespect. He was so very lucky the Moonless needed him. She turned her head and huffed. This idiot wasn’t worth the aftermath’s hassle anyways.

“You were requested to provide a status update was requested.” She moved on.

“The experiment was a success.” He said, leaning against the counter. “All within the range of the expected results. I’ll be staying for a bit longer though. I want to… enjoy the results of my labor, if I may.”

Boy am I getting a really bad feeling right now that they’re just casually having this conversation in the middle of a crowded diner right at the bar. Nobody’s noticed this ominous-sounding back-and-forth the whole time? .-.

At least there was some saving grace from this horrid trip. Some success, and being away from him for a few more days. Never seeing him again would be too soon. But it wasn’t a decision in her paws alone.

“Don’t overstay your welcome. As soon as the word spreads, they will be swarming this place.”

“Oh, I can handle them just fine.” He clicked his tongue and shrugged.

Yeeeeah, I’m honestly half expecting this crowded, cheerful diner to become an ex-diner in about two minutes at this rate.

She rolled her eyes. His cockiness and flippantness would be the end of them one day. She jumped down the stool, then looked at him.

“Whenever you’re done, you’re needed down South. Don’t take long. We’re waiting.”

[ ]

“Wait.” He said, reaching a hand. “You haven’t touched the Tamato tart.”

It might make sense to more explicitly describe Liepard starting to get up and leave before Lycanroc stops her. Like I think that that’s the intent, but it’s not clearly spelled out at the moment.

“We can’t taste anything. Why would I willingly burn my mouth?”

Wait, ‘we can’t taste anything’? As in her and Lycanroc, or…?

“Why was your water ice cold then?” He retorted, that cocky smirk returning to his face.

Her tail thrashed again. No, his attitude wouldn’t be the end of them. She would be the end of him. No. She just needed to bide time, to wait for his inevitable misstep.

Ah yes, just casually plotting to kill off your coworkers who are doing dodgy experiments for some sort of evil overlord that I’m pretty sure is Darkrai from the epithet that was slung around. I can already tell that these guys hail from a totally healthy working culture.

“Keep it.” The dark cat said and turned towards the exit.

“Your loss.” He said, then stuffed the tart whole into his mouth. She didn’t look back to watch the hideous aftermath.

Liepard: “Yeah, I knew I should’ve gotten the whiskey.” >_>;

The Liepard left the establishment, climbed the building, and her body began to tremble. She darted from roof to roof until she reached the last building at the edge of town. A wave of pain wrecked her from inside out, reviling, twisting and raking her insides. Her landing was clumsy, and she stumbled through the fields for minutes, fighting the surges of agony. She leaned against a tree and heaved, leaving partially-digested berries to paint the ground.

She heaved, She breathed in and out wide-eyed, her body twitching and spasming. She spared a final glance at that grotesque sight of beauty and peace, and more of her meal splashed onto the floor ground. This place was wrong, horrifically wrong, disgustingly wrong. The smiles, the happiness. It was unnatural, freakish, abhorrent, revolting, repulsive. Her body, her core rejected it. It was a pulsing tumor, bared in front of her eyes.


A few agonizing minutes of panting passed. She lumbered forward, her bulging eyes glowing a sickly deep purple. It was only a matter of time before it all was corrected. It had nearly succeeded twice. When it resurfaced, the Moonless would make sure it finished the job.

I see that this was indeed a “villain prologue opening” to the story. Though it certainly did a good job at setting the scene and getting readers interested in coming back to see more.

Alright, made it to the end. Admittedly, I didn’t read a whole lot of your story, but I figured that what’s there was good enough to give some initial impressions for your story. The main standout of your story just from its prologue is its characterization, since you managed to make both Liepard and Lycanroc stick out and feel distinct from each other even in the little time that we saw them. I thought that Liepard was laying it on a bit thick with her Grinch shtick, but I’ll reserve judgment on that for now since I got the distinct vibe that something wasn’t fully normal about her or Lycanroc, so that might have been deliberate. It also did a good job at teeing up what I presume is going to be the central conflict of this story, and in a way that makes readers want to get to know more about what’s going on behind it.

As for criticisms, as you can gather, I had a number with this prologue. The number one issue that I kept running into was matters of phrasing being a bit awkward here or there. If at all possible, make a point of doing an aloud readthrough of your story at least once before publishing, or if you’re not confident in your abilities, have a beta reader do that for you. I also thought that there were a few parts where you seemed to be holding back information for arbitrary reasons, like the names of Liepard and Lycanroc, who I’m not really sure why they didn’t get namedropped since Liepard clearly had one that she cut Lycanroc off from saying and there wasn’t really an expressed logic for it. I also raised a brow at the behavior the two were having right at the counter of the diner, when you’d think that that’d be something that would start to draw the attention of onlookers, which isn’t really described. I also wonder if in a prologue it’d have made sense to get a glimpse of the protagonists’ side of things as well, since we got a good look at what I presume will be the villains’ end of the story, but based off the tags that you have for this story, we’re not really getting a good look at any of the Pokémon that are inevitably going to collide with whatever these nefarious schemes involving The Moonless are like.

Though in spite of my criticisms, I think that this is a pretty promising start to your story, if one that would probably have a stronger initial impression with a bit of added polish added to tidy things up. Hopefully the feedback was helpful @Kbludoh . And I’ll have to come back to this story some time to give it a fuller taste to see where you’re going with it, since if nothing else, the beginning does a good job at grabbing readers’ attention and making them curious as to what it’ll entail.

 

[Kbludoh]

Thank you @Spiteful Murkrow for the feedback!

I had already thanked you through Discord, but I feel like it would be appropriate to do so here as well. I will keep the feedback in mind. English not being my first language and having limited resources does end up making things a little bit unpolished, but as soon as I'm done with the first Arc, a serious revisit on all chapters will be in order. For now, it is mostly getting the story out of my system and proving to myself I can write something that, despite its flaws, is enjoyable and fun for potential readers.

I would also like to thank @Ambyssin and @Namohysip. Improvements were certainly made with the feedback presented, and I appreciate your time reading and reviewing my story.

 

[Kbludoh]

CHAPTER 6 - Overgrown Farms

"What y’mean ya lost ye bag?” Archie was nearly tearing the feathers off his scalp.

“It fell off when the Blast Seed exploded. Like, how was I supposed to know we’d go that fast? And like, wasn’t that your idea to begin with?”

Ember watched the duo argue, taking modest bites from the smooth and easy-to-the-palate Oran berry as she did. Their nerves were completely understandable; they went from being chased by Beedrill to falling inside a Mystery Dungeon and losing their bags in the process. She knew she would have become a bundle of anxiety had it happen to her. Her notepad, the sling and the pouch Uncle Rim gifted her, the letter. Just the thought sent shivers. They probably lost things important to them too.

Ember’s mind untuned from the bickering duo as she took the last bite of her healing fruit. They needed their space to sort things out, and there wasn’t much she could do to contribute. She focused on her body instead and raised her shoulder. There was still some lingering discomfort, but the berry had taken care of most of it. That and she had gone through worse. Stray and falling hammers to her fingers and feet, chemical explosions, and accidental falls from rooftops had her hurting way more than now. Another Oran could take care of it, but considering the strenuous situation, there was an inkling it would be better to save them for now.

Her attention strayed to the environment. They were in Overgrown Farms, an actual Mystery Dungeon. That was exciting! Dad and Uncle Rim were right, book descriptions did not do this place justice. She looked up at the hazy unsaturated sky. It wobbled like a hot barren dirt road on a scalding sunny day. The books said it was some sort of bubble that somehow prevented Pokémon from fleeing these places by flying, a translucent barrier forcing those within to venture through its maze. It was fascinating, almost like it was engineered to prevent a circumvention of its intended design.

She approached the living walls, ridden with Oran berries in different stages of development emanating a faint citric scent. Patches of dark and light brown swirled within the vines and bark as if parts of the same branch had aged distinctively at different rates. It defied all logic. How could the same branch look so young and old at the same time? And if that happened to the environment, did it also happen to Pokémon who entered there? Researchers said no, but at the same time, she had never seen any papers on the long-term effects of those who stayed within one for a long uninterrupted period of time. That and Uncle Rim seemed fine, despite his frequent visits to Mystery Dungeons. That would be an interesting topic to add to her list in the future, but the takeaway for now was that she would be fine, and that brought relief.

The tip of her digits slid on the wooden surface, testing the wall’s firmness. The plants formed an airtight intertwined mass, harder and bulkier than any rock or metal she had ever worked with. How much could a house made of those vines withstand? It would definitely pass the Blast Seed test. Maybe Uncle Rim’s Wood Hammer test? The only thing that had ever passed it was her workshop, and it had taken a sizable time of engineering and redundant reinforcement to beat that challenge. If these vines could be manipulated somehow, they could make an amazing construction material. Imagine the possibilities! Houses, buildings, maybe even handles and tools, all of the highest quality, sturdy and—

“Ember?” The voice snagged her attention. It was Archie nervously clasping his claws, with Vynn a single pace behind. Archie opened his beak to speak, but hesitated. He did so twice more, then his entire posture deflated. “How I explain this?”

She tilted her head. “Is everything alright?”

“Hi Ember!” Vynn stepped forward and extended a vine. “I know Archie already presented me to you, but I didn’t present myself to you! I’m Vynn, nice to meet you!”

Her gaze alternated between the two. Things didn’t seem alright. Was Archie still feeling guilty? That must be it. If so, that was silly; she wasn’t hurt or anything anymore, and it had been an accident. But if he was trying to muster the courage to say something, it was better to not press it.

She broke into a gentle smile and accepted the vineshake. “Nice to meet you too, Vynn.”

“Ye!” Vynn was pure glee. “First of all, I know Archie already apologized a thousand times for that accidental Brave Bird of his, but as a member of the team, I also need to apologize for that. He said you hurt your shoulder. How is it?”

Ember saw Archie recoiling in shame. Yes, he was still feeling bad about it. “It is fine. The Oran berry did its job.” She smiled reassuringly. “But you said you are part of a team. Are you in the Lunar Guild?”

“Yup!” Vynn used a vine to pull an hesitating Archie close by his shoulder. “We’re Team Stargazers.”

“Ooo… That is a very pretty team name.” Ember beamed.

“I like it too! Archie chose it and he’s very proud of it!” Vynn said cheerily. Then, he leaned in closer and continued in a loud whisper. “But don’t let him know that. It embarrasses him.”

Archie's cheeks burned and he looked away. “Quit that.”

“See?” Vynn said with a smirk. Archie frowned and Ember couldn’t hold her giggle. “Anyway, Archie and I… we are in a bit of a pickle.”

“I heard you discussing, so I gave you some space to sort things out. I’m sorry for your bags.” Ember said and offered a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, and we appreciate that. I swear it doesn’t happen often! The ‘losing the bag’ part, at least.” Vynn got another giggle from Ember and Archie’s frown turned to a scowl. “So, uh… the thing is, because of that, we kinda need your help.”

Archie sighed then looked at Ember, finally mustering the courage to speak. “We’re in a Mystery Dungeon. We lost our bags. We had an Escape Orb, but twas in our bags. Our guild badges c’ ‘port us out, but they were in our bags too.”

“Escape Orbs are those orbs that create a rift inside a Mystery Dungeon which directly leads to its clearance floor, aren’t they?” Ember asked.

“Yeah!” Vynn clasped his vines together, leaning forward eagerly. “Do you have one?”

“No.” Ember’s response had Vynn’s head slump down in defeat. She smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. “I did try to purchase one, but Burr—the local Kecleon vendor—had run out of them.”

Archie once again sighed. “We’ll hafta go through it then.”

“Well, if it helps any, I did bring a lot of berries and food, and Overgrown Farms is not very long. Seven floors, if I recall correctly.” Ember said. “Considering that Oran berries grow from the walls and what I brought with me, there should be more than enough supplies for the three of us.”

“We still don’ have no seeds or orbs.” Archie said, crossing his wings. “We don’ know what kinda Pokémon there’s ‘ere. We c’ face a strong Pokémon, or find a Monster House an’ be screwed.”

“Overgrown Farms does not have any Monster Houses, and the majority of Pokémon in here are grass, bug, and normal types; specifically Weedle, Kakuna, Beedril, Wurmple, Rattata, Surskit, Cherubi, and Pidgey. It is also classified as a ‘beginner-friendly Mystery Dungeon’.” Ember said.

Vynn had a vine on his chin. “Huh… This dungeon sounds way easier than I thought.”

“Th’ guild memo did say Overgrown Farms was zero stars difficulty.” Archie conceded. “But how’d y’know all this? Been here ‘fore?”

“No. But I’ve done my research before traveling!” Ember had a raised finger and a proud smirk. “According to Uxiepedia, any adult Pokémon should be able to traverse Overgrown Farms alone if appropriately prepared. Granted, it also recommends never going into a Mystery Dungeon alone due to their unpredictable nature. So, since we are three, theoretically we shouldn’t have any problems.”

“Guess it will be a walk in the park then.” Vynn was radiant.

Archie bobbed his head sideways, mumbling to himself. “Yeah…”

“Now, Ember, if I could ask for another favor…” Vynn’s grin went from genuine to forced. “Could you give Archie and I an Oran each?”

Archie’s glimpse of a protest was interrupted by vines wrapping around his beak.

“The landing was kinda bad,” Vynn said, struggling to keep the protesting bird in check. “And if we’re to go through the dungeon, we need all the energy we can have, right, Archie?”

Archie had the biggest scowl, yet he stopped protesting. Though he had acquiesced, Ember wasn’t sure if it had been Archie who willingly nodded afterwards or if Vynn had used his vines to force it out of his friend.

“Sure.” Ember unstrapped her bag from her shoulder and placed it on the ground in front of her. “Would you like to take a look inside yourselves and see if there’s anything else you need?”

“We’d love that.” Vynn said, letting his friend go and reaching for her bag. “Excuse me.”

---

… … …
… … …
… … …
… … …​

---

A left, a right, another left. For the past ten minutes, Archie led the group through the silent entangling maze alternating between branching narrow paths and expansive clearings. He looked back. Vynn waddled with his vines behind his head, carefree as always. No surprise. Behind him, Ember carried a pretty Y-shaped stick with a green rubber band attached to its bifurcated ends and a little green pouch, both strapped to a leather belt she had been wearing since they began exploring the Mystery Dungeon. Though her choice of accessories left him scratching his head, the way Ember wordlessly looked at each little thing they came across greatly drowned all his curiosity with worry and apprehension. She was like a hatchling full of wonder who was one distraction away from veering off the path to end up inside an eager Arbok’s open mouth. Yeah, she was an adult, she claimed to have read a lot about Overgrown Farms, and they were in a ‘beginner-friendly Mystery Dungeon’, but he had unwittingly dragged her into a dangerous place, she was a civilian, and her well-being was his responsibility. If something were to happen… Shivers went down his spine. Actually, it was better not to even consider that possibility.

“Ember?” Vynn said, glancing back at her.

“Yes?”

“What is this stick you’re carrying?” Vynn asked.

“This?” She raised the ‘stick.’ “It is a sling. Uncle Rim gave it to me for protection.”

Archie looked back, a brow raised. A Quilava using a stick? “Thought only Braixen an’ Delphox used sticks.”

“Oh, it’s not like their wands. I do not channel fire or psychic energy through them.” Ember said, stifling a giggle. “It is meant to shoot Geopebbles.”

Archie stopped and stared at Ember. “Geopebbles? You’re a Quilava, you c’ shoot fire from ye mouth, right?”

“I can light up the furnace at my workshop with it.” She smiled sheepishly. “But I never fought before. I always focused on studies and building things with my dad. But Uncle Rim and I always practiced shooting with this sling when I was a Cyndaquil, so he gave me Geopebbles and the sling to protect myself during this trip.”

“So that's what's inside that pouch.” Vynn chuckled.

“Exactly.” She produced a couple of jagged rocks with swirly engravings and showed them to Vynn.

Archie resumed walking, a frown plastered on his face. Geopebbles? Those things tickled. She had perfectly usable fire. Even if she didn’t know how to fight, she could still use an Incinerate or a Flamethrower to scare others away.

“And what about this sling-stick-thingie? Why do you need it to shoot Geopebbles? Couldn’t you just throw them instead?” Vynn said.

“Because you don’t have to be really strong to use a sling. The rubber band does all of the work.” Ember halted and plucked an underdeveloped Oran from one of the walls. “When you pull the rubber band, the potential energy is transferred and stored as elastic energy within the rubber band. Once you let it go, that elastic energy transforms into kinetic force, rapidly accelerating the Geopebble. This greatly multiplies the strength of the impact of the Geopebble, also multiplying its innate elemental force by proxy.”

Archie blinked, beak slightly agape. What were all these complicated words? He glanced at Vynn. His friend was also surrounded by question marks. The bird then squinted his eyes. Pokémon use fancy words when they are trying to fool someone. Was she trying to fool them?

“I might have overexplained again.” Ember scratched the back of her head. “To make it simple, it is easier, more powerful and more efficient to shoot a Geopebble with a sling than tossing it… at least for me. I could show you how it works, if you’d like.”

“I wanna see it!” Vynn clapped excitedly.

Archie crossed his wings. She talked big. Let’s see what this ‘sling’ was capable of.

Ember placed the fruity ammo in the sling then pointed upwards, to a fully grown Oran berry hanging from the top of the wall. “Okay. I am going to try to get that Oran berry for us. All I have to do is pull, aim carefully, and… release.”

A loud thud, a blur, and a ripple in the sky were the only clues of what had happened. Archie barely had time to catch the falling berry. He looked dumbfounded at the fruit in his claws, the small stem broken. Did that ‘sling’ do that? Okay, he had to admit, maybe there was bark to that talk. She wasn't a Psychic-type to be able to pull off tricks like that.

“That was awesome!” Vynn shouted, wide eyed. “Can I shoot with it?”

“Sure.” Ember smiled.

“Neat!” Vynn started reaching for the sling using a vine, but stopped when he saw Archie’s unamused face. The Servine quickly backed away. “Actually, after we leave the dungeon would be better.”

“Oh. Okay, then.” Ember tilted her head, but soon broke to a smile. “Just don’t forget to remind me if I don’t!”

For the next few minutes, they continued exploring the empty floor, with Vynn asking what ‘kinetic’, ‘potential’ and all the other complicated words were and Ember patiently explaining them. It all was all background noise for Archie though; he was way too focused on navigating and memorizing the floor's layout to do so. That went on until the group merged into a large empty room. The three stood side by side, eyeing its walls. At the furthest edge, Ember spotted a distorted hole shimmering within the arboreal wall and pointed at it.

“Is that the distorted passage we are looking for?”

“Yep.” Vynn said with a smile. “One down, six to go!”

Archie sighed in relief then eyed Ember. She knew a lot about dungeons, a good eye to spot the distortion first, and if his eyes hadn't played games with him, that sling of hers looked like it packed quite the punch. Maybe she wouldn't be as much of a burden as he thought.

But there was still a long way ahead of this Dungeon. There were still six floors to go.

---

… … …
… … …
… … …
… … …​

---

Going through the distortion was an experience. It was like going through a cold veil of webs which stuck to her fur whilst pushing through a thick layer of gelatin. It was also disorienting; as soon as she had gone through, looking back had her staring at a faceful of vines with no traces of where she had come from. Seeing Vynn seamlessly phase through the wall right after her gave the perspective of exactly what it was like. This floor was similar to the previous; same oran walls, same mushy floor. Though unlike before, chirping and buzzing echoed from afar, and that had Ember immediately tense up.

“‘Kay!” Archie called the groupi’s attention. “Th’ first floor was clear, but we c’ already hear th’ Pokémon in this floor. Keep ye eyes open so we ain’t got no surprises, ‘right?”

Vynn’s confident “aye” did little to soothe her before they began exploring. Was she terrified? No, not really. Stressed would be the most appropriate word. The Pokémon in there weren’t real Pokémon, just echoes. The way Uxiepedia described how they acted was ‘feral’; beings without sentience who acted on pure instinct. Their behavior varied wildly between species and location. Some attacked if they were particularly territorial, startled or angered. Others fled if they felt outmatched, intimidated, or scared. Regardless of how they behaved, there would be challenges ahead. Despite battling being an inevitability, now that it was about to become a reality, her legs didn't respond as readily as they had been before.

But this was a beginner dungeon, and she had an experienced guild team by her side. Everything would be fine. She had said it before, and Archie and Vynn had agreed with her.

Archie’s march came to a halt when they reached the edge of a corridor leading to a clearing. He poked his head around the wall for a few seconds then looked back.

“There’s three in there. Two Rattata in a nest an’ a Weedle climbin’ th’ walls. There’s a way out th’ room in the far left. Vynn, y’distract th’ Rattata. I c’ knock out th’ Weedle quick then help ya. Ember, y’keep an eye t’ see if any new Pokémon approach an’ support us wi’ ye sling. There’s a stump ye c’ use as cover right a’ the entrance. Y’all got it?”

“Aye aye, cap’n!” Vynn saluted, eliciting an eye roll from Archie.

Ember silently nodded and clutched her sling, her heart racing. That was it. They were actually going to engage in a—

Archie and Vynn dashed forward. Did they just…? They did. She tiptoed to the clearing’s entrance and peeked. Archie went to the left, rushing towards a Weedle. Vynn went to the right, materializing a purple swirl as he approached the two distracted Rattata in the nest. She glanced at the stump right at the entrance. That was where she was supposed to go. Things were going way too fast. But she was given a plan. All she had to do was follow it.

With a sliding halt, she pressed her side against the stump. Okay, Ember, first part done. She snuck another peek. Archie was rolling out of the way of a string of sticky silk. Two bruised Rattata were charging towards Vynn. Her paws were shaking, her vision began to blur.

Deep breath in. Release. Another breath, deeper. Release. Ember, focus. Archie had a type-advantage against the Weedle, theoretically he would be fine. Vynn was against two; he would need her support. A loud ‘katching’ echoed. The Servine held a hexagonal barrier, the two Rattata gnawing, biting and scratching furiously at it.

She raised her sling, held her breath, and pulled the band. Focus. She aimed, steadied her arm, and released.

“SQUEAK!”

The Rattata was sent reeling from the impact. The other stopped its assault, confused, and Vynn seized the opportunity to wrap his vines around its front paws, yank it to the air, and slam it hard against the ground.

“All clear!”

Archie’s shout snapped Ember back to reality. She eyed Archie, who waddled triumphantly from the rock-shard-covered Weedle. Another glance at the Rattata and a relieved sigh came. One was buried on the ground, the other had a swirl over its eyes, back against the wall. It was indeed all clear.

“Are you two okay?” Ember hesitantly approached. “Vynn, did you get—”

Vynn grabbed Ember’s paws and raised them in the air. “That. Was. Awesome! I’ve never seen a Geopebble hit a Rattata that hard and… Are you alright?”

Ember was a recoiled flinching mess, her heart threatening to jump off her chest. It took a few minute-long seconds for her to realize he had let go of her paws before lowering them.

“Are you alright?” Vynn repeated.

She looked around. The Rattata and the Weedle were still unmoving. Archie and Vynn were still there. Nothing had changed. There hadn’t been any other attacks. It had just been Vynn

“I… am.” She replied, hugging her arms. “I’m… I just… I’ve never battled before and… I’m sorry, I thought we were being attacked again…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I thought that, like, because you knew so much about Mystery Dungeons and the likes, that you were—.”

“I have to apologize.” Ember shook her head. “Everything is fine. It’s just that… I think I need some time to breathe, that's all.”

“Are you su—”

“Hey!” Archie waved at the two from the Rattata’s nest. “Come ‘ere! Found som’thin’!”

Vynn eyed Ember, the two in silence. After a few seconds, he broke it. “Do you want to stay here and take a breather while I…”

“I can go.” Ember forced a smile. “I… I will be fine. He wants to show us something important, I think I should see it as well. Thank you.”

Vynn silently nodded and let Ember take the lead. Once they got closer, Archie had two dark purple seeds in his claws and a cocky smirk.

Ember rummaged through her brain. She had seen those seeds once in a book. The answer was on the tip of her tongue. “Are those… Blinker Seeds?”

Archie puffed his chest proudly. “Yeah! Twas in the Rattata nest!”

Vynn brightened up. “Sweet!”

“‘Right. So y’keep ‘em in the bag an’ use it if som’thin’ goes wrong.” Archie held the seeds to Ember.

Ember gave a stiff nod, slowly taking the seed and stashing it afterwards. While Archie and Vynn discussed their next move, Ember took a step back. Deep breath in, release. Another, deeper, release. So that was what battling felt like. Things had gone smoothly; she managed to contribute to it with her sling and helped protect herself and the two guild members she was traveling with. She was able and capable, and despite her reaction, Vynn's response to her performance had been positive. But she had to focus ahead. Facing more encounters like these was definitely going to happen and much like building and fixing, confidence would come with practice and exposition. Things were going to work out. There was nothing to worry about.

“Ember.” Archie called. “Let’s go. We gotta keep movin’ ‘fore more Pokémon roam in th’ room.”

Ember nodded and joined the group as they merged to the unexplored exit. Everything was going to be alright.

 

[CluelessJoker]

Alright, review tag time!
I’ve read from the prologue up until Chapter 6 so I’ve got a pretty good grasp on the plot so far (or so I’d like to believe) So here’s my thoughts on it all.

First off, the characters. I love Ember, she’s cute, smart and kindhearted. I loved seeing her interactions with the townsfolk at the start. It really was quite believable that she had a pre-existing relationship with all of them, and it didn’t feel to exposition dump-y. I like Rim, my only gripe is that I wish we had gotten about a chapter or even half a chapter of Ember interacting with the townsfolk of Pidove’s Nest more. I feel like we left just as soon as we got there.

Archie and Vynn, from what I can tell so far it looks like they are going to serve as the more grounded foils to Ember’s naive outlook. They’ve got a bit more ‘boots on the ground’ experience it looks like. But they seem a bit daft which means Ember’s gonna need to step up in the brains department. A classic group dynamic, but why mess with classics. In that same vein, however, I hope it doesn’t wind up *too* classic, a good twist or mix-up can go a long way.

Prologue characters. I genuinely can’t tell if the Liepard is being dramatic or not when they vomited from the saccharine sweetness of the idyllic village she found herself in. I’m leaning towards yes because her ally, who is most likely of similar origin to her given the whole ‘no tasting’ comment, noticeably did not expel their innards from interacting with people. To this end, I’m hoping to see more of her and her aversion to basic acts of decency and bright color palettes.

The plot. So far, plot seems to be chugging along quite well, we’ve got a mystery, characters, somewhat aligning goals, and an antagonistic force setup. All the pieces are here, just left to see how they get to moving. And speaking of moving, going back to my original desire to see more of Pidove’s Nest, it does kind of feel the plot is moving rather quickly. Ember gets the letter, solves it literally next chapter, is gone by the third. I feel like just a bit of filler would help flesh out some points and characters. Somewhat related, we barely get to know Archie or Vynn before their first conflict in the plot. I still can’t quite tell who’s supposed to be the more responsible of the duo. We’re introduced to them, they get their job, there’s conflict. A bit of fluff might have eased their introduction a bit more.
Still, if my only real criticism is that I want more story, I’d say the plot is doing quite well so far. All in all, pretty good read as far as I’m concerned, will watch with great interest.
-CluelessJoker

 

[Ambyssin]

Three's a small chapter that appears to serve as Ember saying her goodbyes to her uncle. I have a feeling his stories and teachings will come in handy for at some point after she leaves, given the prominent focus it gets. (Also RIP her dad's got one heck of a whacky RPG name.) This is where the double-edged sword of short chapters starts to come into play. There's a bit more published after this, of course, but when these chapters are this short you do want to try and make the most of your words and I can't help but wonder if, rather than starting with a bunch of exposition about Ember's plan which then leads to a summary of her morning, it would've been better to start with Rim and transition to Ember leaving the next day. Y'know, just to give a nice hook that would lead into the next chapter, where there'd either be trouble during the trip or you cut to her reaching her father.

The pitch black had barely gained a hint of blue and Ember was already up

This is prrrrrrrobably a bit too flowery/purple prose-y of a description for saying Ember was up before sunrise. I think you'd have been better off with a more direct opening... like the sentences that come after this one.

and its Flame Orb reinstalled.

Nifty use for these things. Does that mean there will be other elemental orbs powering other gizmos? 🤔

Her inflection as hard as plastic.

This metaphor doesn't exactly work. Plastic can be hard, sure, but there are far harder things out there (like metal). Plastic breaks pretty easily under stress.

 

[Ambyssin]

So chapter 4 is... not at all what I expected given how chapter 3 ended. I figured it'd be Ember going to Oran Farms, or else already being there. Though now I have the sense that's going to happen offscreen, with this chapter introducing us to people she's going to run into who are going to pull her into the main plot, so to speak. I do think that, for thrusting us right into their usual business, you do a decent job showing off Archie and Vynn's personalities. The former being a go-getter, eager to prove himself and gain respect. The latter a bit on the lazier side. Makes me wonder how the two of them ended up together. And Sable is a very no frills, cut to the chase sort of boss.

That said, while the dialogue does introduce the characters well, I'm mixed on the actual subject matter, which comprises the bulk of the chapter. We're basically given Team Stargazer and the guild's backstory through dialogue. It's succinct, as this is a short chapter. But when you are making shorter chapters, my personal thought's that you gotta be mindful of your word economy. If I'm guessing that Ember's going to wind up interacting with this guild, would it not make more sense to save this explanation of their whole deal and their crisis management division for after Ember meets them? That, to me, feels like a more organic way to bring the guild into the plot along with the worldbuilding tied to Sable's explanation.

At least this does confirm this is a version of the PMD world. Welcome to the "original continent in an AU of the PMD world" club, bud. This does make all the human mathematical derived ciphers from earlier clash, like I warned, but at this point it's a minor thing.

Lastly, I'm willing to be the mysterious storms are not the serious problem. Rather they're a symptom of the main problem that the heroes will have to solve.

 

[Kbludoh]

CHAPTER 7 - Managing Expectations

The cacophony of chatter reigned inside Oran Stead’s town hall’s auditorium. Farmers, business owners, concerned citizens, community leaders, all Pokémon who wanted to listen and to be listened when it came to Oran Stead's present and future were there. Granted the number didn’t grow much higher than a couple dozen, yet the ones present were still the most influential in town; they were the ones who would form an opinion and spread it through the population.

Sable sighed. Truth be told, he hated partaking in these kinds of overly public affairs. Not because they were swinging and tossing ropes to influence and spread the herd mentality—that he didn’t care much about—but because every single time that damned Ninetales had to task him with becoming the center of attention “for just this one more time”. Yes, he was pretty good at it. No, being good at it didn’t make it any better. Though what made today especially egregious was how he was about to become the punching bag for the Lunar Guild’s shortcomings that weren't even the Crisis Division's fault. Guess the ‘crisis’ in Crisis Division also extended to disasters of P.R.

Sable eyed the pompous figure coming through the back doors. A Golduck, complete with a lustrous top hat and an equally fancy matching cane. No limp, middle aged. Ugh. The cane was there just to make ‘the chap look dapper’. And these kinds of Pokémon were the ones who usually pulled the strings and made the Klink turn. And now he was approaching Sable. He had to force himself into cordiality.

“Mr. Sable.”

“Chairmon Claudine.” the Inteleon extended a hand, to which the Golduck accepted firmly. “Thank you for allowing the Lunar Guild to speak in this town hall meeting on such short notice.”

“You’d have to thank Mayor Windall for that. He had already arranged your organization’s presence today even before its confirmation.” the Chairmon chuckled, it more akin to a quack than an appropriate laughter. “After all, just the prospect of having a high ranking representative of the Lunar Guild speaking to us is not something that happens very often here.”

“An unfortunate truth that I am here to change.” Sable nodded. “Speaking of Mayor Windall, I have not been able to locate him since my arrival last night. I was expecting to meet him prior to this meeting to discuss some of the topics beforehand.”

“Unfortunately the mayor is currently out of town. He is tending to some personal business that… again, unfortunately, cannot be disclosed. I am, however, working as the interim mayor during his absence.”

“I was not informed of that by the town hall.”

“It was sudden. He barely had any time to tell anyone. The only reason I know is because I was there when the news was broken to him.” The Golduck shook his head. “Most of his subordinates learned it just earlier this morning.”

Sable nodded. That felt like a load of Bouffalant crap. Yet, the Inteleon’s expression remained unchanged.

“But regardless, if there are any requests or concerns directed at the township, you may direct them at me. I will make absolutely sure they are addressed swiftly.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

“Fantastic!” the Chairmon chuckled again. “Now, if you may excuse me, there is a meeting that needs to be started. Stay put, I will introduce you when the time is appropriate.”

“Very well.” Sable acknowledged with a nod.

Sable’s eyes squinted as he watched the Chairmon walk towards the podium, tossing easy fake smiles and holding his chest all puffed up proudly. If as an interim mayor he was already power tripping, what would happen if he became the governor of the whole district? May Lady Cresselia never know. After straightening himself and adjusting his hat, the Chairmon pulled a large bronze bell from the lectern, and its ringing made all chatter dissipate.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemon. I thank you all for coming. Normally, Mayor Windall would be the one to open and host the monthly town hall meeting, but he had to leave town for an undetermined amount of time to take care of some personal matters.”

Chatter and whispering began to spread like wildfire. Only expected from such large and sudden change.

“Now now, I know this was a little sudden, and that you all have many questions, but all I can say is, once more, it is something that requires him to be out of town for an extended period of time. So, let us respect his privacy. Now, in the meantime, as per written in our law, the presiding Chairmon of Oran Stead’s Community Center is to take over the mayoral duties in their absence. So I, Claudine the Golduck, will be the interim mayor until his return.”

“But what about our requests?” A Flaaffy spoke up from the midst.

“Yeah. I had requested Mayor Windall to repair the Central Plaza well. It is not holding any water anymore.” A Marill followed up.

“And the bridge on the Southern Road needs reinforcements too.” A Mudbray piled on.

“And we have to go through the budget for next year’s Oran Festival!” The Flaaffy exclaimed again.

A storm of chatter and worry erupted, yet the Golduck didn't flinch. The reaction of the Pokémon was to be expected, but he was way too calm. Hrmm. The Chairmon rang the bell, and the chatter winded down once more.

“Let us keep our collective calm. I know Mayor Windall had many appointments and requests from you, but there is nothing to worry about. Any and all concerns regarding the township, be them past, present, or future, will be addressed by me during his absence. And I already have some proposals to handle some concerns you have brought. For example, about the bridge Miss Melan made us aware, we…”

For the next half hour, the townsfolk chimed in, asking questions and voicing their concerns to the interim mayor, and with the slightest glint of a smirk, the Chairmon answered one by one. He was rejoicing in being in front of everyone, answering questions out of his rear. None of them made much economical sense, they were all resoundingly populist, yet none of the populace seemed to notice. Give someone authority and their true self reveals itself.

The focus eventually shifted towards different topics: community members’ hatchday congratulations, the town hall's financial report, and other rather mind numbing topics Sable wished he didn’t have the attention span to absorb.

“As the last topic of this month's meeting, I'd like to introduce you to a guest Mayor Windall had scheduled prior to his absence. Please, welcome the representative of the Lunar Guild, Mr. Sable the Inteleon.”

Silence. All eyes were fixated on him. The air in the room suddenly grew heavy. The P.R. nightmare was about to begin. The Inteleon nonchalantly walked towards the podium, muttered a “thank you” as the Golduck conceded the space, and stared back at the dozens of eyes with his characteristic unreadable blank.

“Hello, good folk of Oran Stead. As Chairmon Claudine has previously stated, I am Sable the Inteleon. I am a high ranking member of the Crisis Division team, under direct order of its leader and Lunar Guild's High Ccouncilmon, Tailia the Flame Ninetales.”

“A few years ago, the Lunar Guild, alongside the now deceased mayor of Oran Stead, Raddish the Vileplume, had signed a cooperation treaty. This treaty stated that the Lunar Guild would offer its services in exchange for a steady supply of Oran Stead's unique Oran berries. Thus, the reason why I am here.”

Sable eyed the crowd.

“As the news has spread, Meteor Pass, to the South of the Moon Continent, has been facing terrible storms for the past two weeks. The Lunar Guild has been working tirelessly to rescue stranded Pokémon and provide food, shelter, and medical care, however a disaster of this extension and duration is unprecedented. It has deeply strained our supplies at all ends. Lunar City has been generous enough to provide food and shelter to the refugees, but our medical supplies are at their limit. Thus, I come here to ask Oran Stead for aid by asking for a large shipment of your unique Oran berries to supply our efforts so we may treat those injured in such natural disaster.”

“Mr. Sable.” A Roselia raised a flowery hand amidst the crowd. “If I may ask, how much Oran are we talking about?”

“Twenty full sacks.”

Whispering and murmuring ensued. ‘That’s too much’. ‘Is he mad?’ ‘It’s a week’s worth of produce!’ were some of the words spoken loud enough to reach Sable’s earholes.

“I know it is a lot.” Sable spoke louder, capturing the attention back. “It is more than we have ever asked for. However, we are not asking them for free.” Sable shuffled through his bag, pulling a stack of papers. “Here, in my hands, are all unanswered requests from the past year. I am making myself available right now to go through each request to confirm whether they are still standing or not so we can allocate the appropriate resources in concluding them swiftly.”

The whispering began once more. Though the nods showed a positive sign.

“And how do we know you will actually help this town?” A Quaquaval spoke up. “How do we know you’re not just ‘showing service’ and will not up-and-leave when the shipment is handed bow-and-tie to you?”

The silence that ensued was deafening.

“Last night, soon after my arrival, I visited Egilda the Blissey. She has a recurring request of many different herbs and materials that need to be gathered and stocked regularly, and as previously stated in the previous financial report, she has been working in a tight rope. I personally collected all Medicinal Leeks and Vivichokes from Tranquil Forest, delivering them to her doorstep before dawn.”

“It is true!” Egilda waved from the back. “Way faster than I expected, and he didn’t even ask for a reward!”

“As we speak, two members are already working on replenishing the supplies of Tiny Mushrooms for Bessy the Miltank for the Moo Moo Inn’s communal soup which should last for over a year. I am not here to spit promises. I am here to correct what was wrong. I am here to deliver results.”

While an air of skepticism permeated immediately afterwards, Sable’s following open Q&A section eased the tensions, The Inteleon patiently listening, taking notes, and calming all issues and concerns the Pokémon of Oran Stead had regarding the Lunar Guild. Eventually, Chairmon Claudine returned and closed the meeting. It was a tribulated few hours, but the balance had definitely been positive. As the Pokémon quickly dispersed, Claudine once more approached Sable.

“That was a magnificent display of Public Relations, Mr. Sable. Though it is not unexpected from someone of such high ranking as yourself.”

“I’m glad the Pokémon of Oran Stead are willing to give the Lunar Guild one more vote of trust.”

“Oran Stead is known for its generous and forgiving Pokémon. One of our biggest points of joy.” Chairmon Claudine chuckled quackingly. “Of course this was just a first impression. The farmers would need to donate all the Oran you requested, and they are yet to be convinced that would be a wise idea.”

Sable’s eyes narrowed for the briefest moment. The creation of problems to sell the solution. Why was this not surprising? “Of course.”

“But, while we wait for their decision, I will be opening donation spots so the general population have the possibility of making their own private donations. I know it will not be nearly enough, but I’m positive any and all Oran berries you may have in your hands will be helpful in aiding the poor people of Meteor Pass.”

And self-promoting on the Lunar Guild’s back. Could it grow any more disgusting? “That would be the most appreciated.”

“Now, if you’d excuse me, there are a few appointments I have to attend. But don’t be afraid to reach out to me or one of the assistants for help.”

“I certainly will.”

Sable watched the pompous Chairmon leave, tightening and losing his fist as he did so. He really hated being pushed around by bureaucrats with an Arceus complex.

“Lady Cresselia, please give me wisdom, because if you give me strength, I will Snipe Shot someone today.” Sable grumbled as he left the town hall.

---

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The creaking stretch. The eyes honed in, squinting through the lenses. The breath held, stabilizing the burning strain on the muscles. Release. The stone wheezed. The Cherubi groaned at the impact and a golden cloud of dust, pollen and perfume puffed up. Ember straightened, checking the downed Pokémon. It had swirling eyes and twitchy stubby legs.

“Nice shot! Your aim’s better than Archie’s already!” Vynn cheered.

Archie looked away and crossed his wings. “She ain’t gotta spit rocks from ‘er throat. Easier t' shoot.”

“I didn’t say you were a bad shot. I just said she’s better.” Vynn said, shrugging and casually strolling into the now cleared room.

Archie followed behind. “But I know what y’mean wi’ that!”

Ember took a deep breath, then raised her Safety Goggles as she stepped after them into the ‘room’. Her heart still raced, but after several floors and a dozen or so scuffles, it had become easier to manage the nerves.

Vynn poked the fainted Cherubi, and it released a puff of its pollen cloud in his face. Archie’s cackling quickly grew to terror when Vynn’s vines wrapped the bird and brought him close into an inescapable hug.

If it weren’t for how tense she was, she would probably be giggling at their skit. How did they manage to be so casual and relaxed while in a place where most beings were out for them? Yes, it was their jobs—they were a team of the Lunar Guild and guild members were expected to venture inside Mystery Dungeons—but regardless, it was still dangerous, and the Pokémon they had been facing wouldn’t hesitate in hurting them really badly. Did they not mind getting hurt? No, that couldn’t be it. Everybody is afraid of getting hurt. Maybe it was because getting hurt was an expectation? No, nobody would do a job expecting to get hurt. There had to be something else. Dad and Uncle Rim always talked very fondly about their adventures and Mystery Dungeon explorations. What was it then?

Archie called Ember from the unexplored corridor after collecting yet another apple from the floor and munching it in a single bite. She wordlessly got in line, keeping a bit of a distance to not get overwhelmed by their scent. Perhaps it was just that… She wasn’t used to it? When she started building houses and had to get the roof done, she couldn’t keep her legs from shaking due to the height. But after a few projects using the appropriate safety gear, her confidence boosted and she had no problem working on them. It had to be it! Getting used to navigating these places, getting used to battling. It was bound to happen to her too. Observing her own reactions to this last Cherubi compared to the Rattata and Weedle they first encountered was already a huge difference. Her breaths were already steadying increasingly faster with each floor. So, yes Ember, it was already happening.

“Something smells funny.” Vynn said, flicking his tongue.

“No crap, Solrock.” Archie said as he rolled his eyes.

“Have you read the Solrock Holmes book series?” A peep of excitement managed to ooze through Ember’s nervousness.

“Nah. Just the comics.” Archie shrugged. “It’s cool, but I prefer the Adventures of Quickscope. Much more action-packed!”

“I’ve never heard of it,” Ember said. Archie looked at her as if she had just sinned. Catching the heat, she quickly changed topics. “But the only smell I can feel is the Cherubi mess you two are covered with.”

“Not this smell.” Vynn said, his face scrunching. “It’s like there’s something rotten ahead of us.”

“I ain’t smellin’ nothing rotten.” Archie shrugged.

Ember sniffed around, eyes closed, concentrating on all her snout brought in. The sweet pollen, the developing Oran all around them, the fluffy dirt. “I don’t smell anything different either. But it would be a good idea to keep our guards up, wouldn’t it?”

Archie and Vynn nodded, and the group took yet another turn within the Mystery Dungeon’s maze. Another room presented itself, and Archie snuck ahead to scout it. Ember stole the opportunity to check her pouch. Down to just three Geopebbles. Hopefully they would last for this last stretch of the floor.

“All clear, no other exits, an’ the passage’s there.” Archie said with a satisfied grin, beckoning them with his head before trudging on.

Ember sighed deeply. It was finally over. She glanced at Vynn following behind Archie. He was tense, serious, unlike his laid back demeanor all the way up there. There was something amiss that only he could notice. She glanced behind her. Nothing but the same dungeon corridors, vines, and dirt. The grip tightened on her sling. She had to keep her eyes peeled.

The room was not large; a pawful of paces in each direction, same featurelessness they had gone through. It sported the shimmering hole at its furthest end, again, similar to the ones they had gone through. Though just by entering it, a shiver ran down her spine, an uneasiness filled her gut.

“Are you guys seeing that?” Vynn said, staring at the distorted passage.

“Seein' what?” Archie asked.

“The passage,” Vynn said, using a vine to point at it. “It looks… different.”

Archie’s gaze alternated between the passage and Vynn. “It looks th’ same as th’ others t’ me.”

Ember peered deeply at the distortion. Same shimmer, same wobbliness. “I don’t see anything different either.”

Vynn approached the portal, suspiciously inspecting it. He flicked a tongue, and his face immediately scrunched up. “Yeah… Think I found where the funny smell comes from.”

Archie approached the portal and sniffed at it. He immediately crossed his wings, peering inquisitively at Vynn. ““I ain’t feelin’ nothin’. Are y’tryina mess wit’ us?”

“Wha—No!” He faced Archie, frowning.

“I ain’t buyin’ it.” Archie stepped closer to Vynn. “We’re just outside th’ passage t’ th’ clearance floor. I know ya. Perfect opportunity.”

“I’d do that if we were alone, but not when we’re escorting someone.” Vynn pointed at Ember.

“Like that’d ever stop ya.” Archie squinted his eyes.

Vynn was more annoyed than defensive. “Are you both not seeing the purple swirling and the mist coming out of the passage? Or feel the rotten egg coming out of it?”

“No, we ain’t ‘cause there ain’t no smell comin’ from it.” Archie waved dismissively.

Vynn looked at Ember, his eyes pleading for some sort of confirmation. She apologetically shook her head.

“Y’ain’t fooling us.” Archie waved a wing dismissively. “Come on, Ember. We almost done wi’ the dungeon.”

“I invoke the Iapapa clause!”

Archie stopped dead in tracks and immediately turned to Vynn, wide eyed. Ember tilted her head. Iapapa clause?

“You serious?”

“Yes!” Vynn stomped towards Archie. “I’m telling you, there is this rotten smell, this weird swirl, this faint fog coming out of it. There’s something wrong with this portal.”

Archie scratched the top of his head. “D'you think this c’ be an alternate path?”

“According to Uxiepedia, Overgrown Farms does not have alternative or branching paths.” Ember chimed in. “And even if there were, with this room being a dead end, we would have just finished exploring the entirety of this floor.”

Archie and Vynn looked at each other, their tension palpable. It didn’t take much to notice that the two were dealing with something unknown to them. And even worse, they had no alternative but to face whatever it was.

“Aight,” Archie spoke up. “Vynn and I’ll go first, Protect ready in case we’re ambushed. Ember, y’count t’ three an’ go through, sling ready t’ shoot.”

“But… there isn't supposed to be any Pokémon inside the clearance floor.”

“Not dungeon Pokémon,” Vynn said, “but outlaws sometimes hide in these clearance floors.”

“Oh… I hadn't considered that possibility.” Ember's uneasiness skyrocketed. Was Vynn able to smell an ambush like that? It was unheard of the Servine line being able to smell danger. “About this plan… I only have three Geopebbles left.”

“Crap.” Archie nervously scratched the underside of his beak.

“We could just book it.” Vynn said. “It worked against the Beedrill.”

Archie’s stare made it as clear as day he didn’t like the idea… but his lack of response already said he didn’t have anything better. When their gaze drifted to Ember, her silence was as uneasy as it was acquiescing. With the wordless confirmation of everyone, Archie and Vynn stepped in front of the passage.

“Count t’ three, then through th’ portal.” Archie reinforced to Ember, who nodded back. “Aight, Vynn. Three, two, one.”

And the two stepped through.

Three.

Ember stared at the passage. They were about to be ambushed by outlaws. If the dungeon Pokémon were already scary, the way Archie and Vynn were tense made outlaws sound even scarier.

Two.

But she had Dad’s goggles and Uncle’s sling to help herself, Vynn, and Archie. She had to go through it so she could meet her father. Everything would be fine. It had to be fine.

One.

Stick to the plan. Sling ready. Shoot any bad Pokémon.

Ember stepped through.