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Chapter X: Entropy

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter X: Entropy


"…And so the gods came, from beyond the stars, to assist us petty creature in our ascension to greatness. The Crown embraced Her divine role in leading this Empire in Their name, under Their aegis; and the Republic was no more."

Excerpt from the book "Our Benefactors", written by Imperial Scribe Eli Kadabra.


Flame felt wonderful.

Albeit a mass of clouds obfuscated the morning sky, leaving the whole camp in a shade of penumbra, it strangely did not impact his mood in the slightest. He walked outside the barracks alongside his squadmates, smelling fresh dew and pokémon sweat through his nostrils. For what was possibly the first time in his life, the entirety of his body felt pleasantly untense; no knots tying his stomach, no dull aches in his head.

His enlarged tail fire seemed to agree, too.

"Are you sure that will be enough?" Alice asked as they departed their tent, dodging incoming officers scrambling to take a job for the day. The three of them had already agreed to do so after rush hour.

Gaius rummaged through his bag's contents one last time. "Looks like it. This is basically all the equipment we have, anyway."

"And what about the money? Remember our 'special' breakfast?"

Gaius rolled his eyes. "Ugh, don't worry, I remember. I honestly have zero clue what we'd buy, though."

Flame put a claw to his chin, humming aloud. "Good question. Definitely no berries. If I see another one of those, I'm going to vomit. Never tried fish, though."

"Fish? For breakfast?" Alice grinned, "You, sir, have some mighty fine tastes. Too bad a single Magikarp costs enough to bleed us dry."

He let out half a frown. "Well, there must be something we can afford that isn't leftovers."

"Eh, let's just buy some fresh bread," Gaius shrugged, "No need to go crazy on spending."

Flame's mind threw around some options, yet he didn't know what could be considered finesse in this town. "I guess, but that's a bit simple on its own. How about … I don't know, cheese?"

"Cheese…" Alice repeated, as if testing the suggestion with her own lips, "That's perfect! If we take the thinnest slice possible, we could probably afford three."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Gaius' face contort into a grimace.

"Fine. We're splitting the loaves, then," the Grovyle said, "I'm not throwing away more than eight thousand poké on this."

Soon, they ventured out of Camp Tempest and into the vague, brown-coloured slums to the south and west of it. Flanking them were little three-storey houses with battered doorways—perhaps a quarter of the windows in the street were smashed or missing. He was amazed at how one could bare to live in such crumbling rat-holes—insulae, he recalled Alice saying. Yet the proles did so without complaint. Up and down the street, and through a particular doorway, a group of Riolu cubs laughed and giggled hysterically as they chased after one another, only to scatter at angry yells from their mothers.

The younglings paid no attention to Team Phalanx; most adults passing by eyed them with a sort of guarded contempt. Flame figured it must have been the badges pinned on their bags attracting so much scrutiny.

He strode forward wordlessly.

At one point, Gaius ordered them to take a shortcut down a dark alleyway—one of the only few not overflowing with rubbish. Once he saw Gaius keen on counting the coins in his bag, a thought streamed out of his mouth of its own accord.

"Uh, do you just … keep it all in there? The money, I mean."

After twisting his head round, to make sure there was no prole overhearing them, Gaius strapped his bag tighter, and turned to him.

"Of course not. What did you take me for, a fool?" Gaius said in a near-whisper, "I stash it all in a hole that's under my bed."

Upon hearing those words, Flame raised an eyebrow. "O-oh, okay. It doesn't make me feel any safer, to be honest. How can you be sure it'll stay there?"

Alice offered him a meek, sheepish grin. "Well, no one has found out yet, so I'd say our chances are good."

Flame rubbed the back of his head pensively. "But isn't there a bank, or someplace like that we could use?"

"Geez, you must be thinking we have public thermae up North too," Gaius snickered, though no traces of malice were present in his voice, "There used to be one a couple years back. The interest rates were really wicked though, so eventually it just closed down for a lack of clients."

"Huh. Strange," Flame muttered, "I wonder if others had our same idea."

Gaius looked behind them to make sure nobody was listening in. "Actually, I heard other officers have started digging secret stashes outside of town. Who knows, we could always go on a treasure hunt."

While Flame reflected on the hidden implications of that statement, the alleyway ended abruptly, and the three of them emerged into the town's market square. Vending stalls seemed to pop up all over, consisting of mere wooden poles holding up ragged cloths, atop which bird pokémon perched on and took off. The whole square was in commotion. Crowds numbering in the dozens stood huddled around a few stalls: there were yells of anger from all sides, and he noticed more than one physical confrontation developing to his right.

Is this normal? Flame could not help but ask himself. It didn't seem too far-fetched to be normality, yet something felt particularly off today. An air of discontent and mistrust, a pungent smell shooting up his nostrils—just like those glares they'd received beforehand.

His teammates' faces suggested that they felt uneasy just like him. Yet he followed them regardless through a less dense section of the market, eyes skirting over every object on sale. Amongst the few items visible behind the infesting proles were foodstuffs, like bread and fruit and berries, but also fortune amulets, claws, horns, small mementos with no apparent value.

It took a surprising amount of time to shove and charge their way through the suffocating mass pressing from all directions, before they finally took a breather in an empty corner behind the cobalt roof cover of one particular stall.

As he panted, Flame took one end of the cloth and wiped his forearm clean of all the sweat and grime he'd collected from colliding passersby.

"What in Mew's name is happening here?" Alice took a relieved breath, "I've never seen this much of a ruckus before—it's like they weren't even paying attention."

Gaius took the bag off his shoulders, opened it and rummaged inside."If you ask me, either Ariel increased the prices, or some item went out of stock."

The Grovyle fished a handful of coins from his bag—about five or seven—and dropped them into Flame's palm.

"Here you go. Shouldn't take more than five thousand," Gaius said, strapping his bag tightly round his shoulder, "Go buy that cheese now, it's right here. The two of us will go see if there's any bread left."

With that, his teammates departed for another direction, disappearing into the thick crowd within mere instants.

Flame just stood there, collecting his thoughts, shifting the coins in his own paw. He clasped his claws round them tightly: with no bag to hold them in, all it would take was a quick push from behind, and they'd slip out of his grasp.

Fair enough, Flame nodded to himself, breathing in, This shouldn't be too difficult. Hopefully I won't have to wait in line.

Taking great care to avoid making contact with passing pokémon, he walked round the other side of the stall. Indeed, there was no line there. He'd be able to get this over with right away.

He rested his arms from the elbow down on the wooden counter separating the various wares. Then, he raised his eyes to take a gander at the vendor. A most peculiar sight befell his eyes: it was a bipedal, blue-scaled behemoth, with orange gills jutting out of its cheeks and two black fins acting as crests of sorts.

The Swampert stood still for a few seconds, eyes lost into nothingness before peering its eyes down at the new arrival. It didn't even greet him; only grunted in a minimal form of acknowledgement.

Flame scanned his eyes across the wares in front of him, feeling a slight pressure from being observed while doing so. On the counter there were neatly aligned crates of fish, clams, wheels of cheese, slabs of meat bathed in salt, and some items he could not identify but whose colour satisfied the eye. Right after he was done inspecting, his attention darted back to the cheese. It was a half-way between yellow and orange, looking surprisingly pristine—especially considering what his taste buds were accustomed to. Had it been realistically possible, he would have devoured everything with a mere look.

"This one," said Flame, pointing with a claw, "How much is a slice?"

"Thirty-thousand poké," the vendor said.

Flame hoped he'd misheard that number. "What? T-that's preposterous! Maybe you didn't understand; I asked for the—"

"Miltank cheese. It's thirty-thousand. Take or leave."

For a couple of seconds, Flame was left with his maw hanging open much like a buffoon. No, he couldn't possibly afford that. There must have been a misunderstanding somewhere along the way. Had Gaius underestimated the price? Yet there was a substantial difference between eight thousand poké and more than thrice that amount; his leader's memory could not have been so grossly wrong.

"E-even the smallest slice?" Flame asked breathlessly.

"I'm not making discounts," the Swampert vendor repeated, as he set his three-digit paw on the counter. Those eyes were looking down at him, simultaneously puzzled and irritated at such obstinate persistence.

Biting his lower lip, Flame crossed his arms together. Right then, he decided that he would not walk away empty-handed from the stall. "I was told it costs less here. What the hell happened to cheese being eight-thousand?"

"You must have not gotten the memo, kid. Rules are rules. And if that bitch says prices go up, prices go up."

Feeling a nerve twitch in his neck, Flame grit his teeth and slammed his own paws on the counter. "I'm not leaving. The most I can give you is ten-thousand."

"Don't have the money?" the vendor hissed and hunched his face forward to meet his, "Stop wasting my time, then."

Alas, it was a lost cause. Flame had to restrain a sudden impulse to impale those white, fleshy orbs with his claws—yes, it would shut him up nicely. But he abandoned the idea immediately; the Swampert stood at almost twice his height, and would surely wash him away in any real fight.

For perhaps five seconds resentment made him careless, and he stepped away from the stall without so much as a preliminary glance to the crowd. However, something halted him just beside the stall, out of view from its owner. Breathing in furiously to stop himself from shaking, he clenched the coins in his fist further.

Perhaps he ought to relax. To any sane individual, getting so worked up over such trivial happening might have been considered deeply unhealthy. Perhaps it was. Yet, Team Phalanx deserved at least one day of comfort and tasty food!

Calm. Calm. There must be other stalls selling cheese, he twisted his head around. Nothing. Each stall attracted a crowd so dense as to block any view of its products, much less encourage him to stand in line.

Then it dawned on him: he did not have to necessarily pay for the cheese. After all, he'd come here well-intentioned, and if the vendor refused to be reasonable, then nothing would stop him from obtaining his goal via other means. A small portion of his mind attempted to call out the folly in stealing, but much of his psyche disagreed.

Alice and Gaius do this all the time, it can't be that bad, he thought.

Suppressing his breath, he approached the cyan-tinted stall again. Now a pair of pokémon approached the Swampert's stand—two Flygon. Perhaps Imperial Army officers, like Alice had mentioned. They asked for something.

In truth, he did not quite hear; his thumping heartbeat masked their exact words. The verbal exchange continued for a good ten seconds. At some point, one of them would surely turn and notice him staring eerily for—oh!

This was it: the Swampert turned round, leaned down, probably to sift through a crate's contents. Hastily Flame's eyes glossed over each ware; the fish looked tempting, but time did not favour his cause. He'd settle for those slices of already cut cheese lying nearby.

It was spontaneous; for a moment he lost his inhibition. He snatched the items and ran.

Exaltation boosted his legs as he missiled through the crowd with astonishing efficiency. He could not ascertain whether someone had shouted 'thief' from behind him just now, nor how many slices of cheese he was carrying in all. No mental energy could be diverted from pushing obstructing pokémon out of his path to gain however much distance possible from the Swampert.

When Flame reached the opposite side of the square and could run no further, he quickly identified which small alley they'd entered from, slipping inside its shadows. Resting his back to the wall, he panted heavily. A dumb grin remained plastered on his face. He looked down at both his paws: one still squeezed that small amount of money securely, while two pieces of slightly-shredded cheese lay in his other palm.

Hopefully neither Alice nor Gaius would complain about unwashed paws, he hoped.

Wow, and to think I told myself that I'd never stoop to this level… Flame let out a bittersweet frown. It did not make much sense, to feel ashamed for wanting to help. Whichever way he acted was acceptable, he tried to convince himself, so long as it brought joy to his teammates' faces. Indeed, was not that his final purpose?

Perhaps his friends would eye him wearily for such distasteful tactics—most certainly Alice.

I just hope prices haven't risen for everything. That merchant said it's Ariel who gets to decide. Why would she change things overnight? Why now?

If prices had skyrocketed amongst all goods, and not just luxuries—Flame dared not entertain the thought—then the fifty-thousand poké they'd so proudly collected would suddenly amount to naught. A loaf of bread, berry-scented at most. All in the blink of an eye!

Flame blinked out of his thoughts as he noticed two familiar figures worm through the crowd. He caught their attention by waving and shouting their names, after which they reached him in the alleyway.

The look on their faces did not inspire confidence.

"How did it go?" he asked, perhaps a tiny bit rhetorically.

"Horribly," Alice spoke up, mumbling, "We looked in three different stalls, and every merchant we came across was absolutely mental. Eleven-thousand poké? What did you stuff the bread with, gold bars? I only saw ants inside!"

The Dragonair's voice was frustrated and seething with bitterness.

"Oh," Flame frowned, "So they raised the price of bread, too?"

Alice gazed back to the visual and auditory mess coming from the market square. "Yes, and the whole square is in upheaval about it. I think someone even stepped on my tail. Ouch," she rubbed its tip against her body.

"But did you buy anything in the end?" Flame asked.

"Just a single loaf. Maybe it costs too much, but…" she paused momentarily, looking downwards, "I simply can't be bothered to scavenge again. Just this once."

Gaius, who had stood and listened quietly, shifted his gaze to the Charmeleon's hands.

"Uh, I see you actually bought what we asked for," Gaius pointed with a claw, eyebrows raised, "How … how did you manage to get the money? Didn't we give you too little?"

"W-well, I … didn't exactly pay for it," Flame said, accompanied by a meek chuckle.

For a few moments, Alice stared right into his eyes, silent. He definitely saw surprise in them, but couldn't quite discern which type.

"… Oh. I-I guess that explains the shouts I heard from where we left you."

The tone charging her voice caused his heart to droop in a corner.

"Look, I'm sorry," Flame bit his lower lip, eyes cast downwards, "But there was no other way for me to buy it regularly. I just didn't want us to have come here for nothing."

"Nonono, don't get me wrong," Alice forced another smile to reassure him, "Me and Gaius have to do it every now and then as well. Simply put it, I dislike stealing from others. It's nothing against you."

"Come on, don't listen to her," Gaius chuckled, amused, delivering a mock punch to his shoulder, "You did good. Man, what happened to you? If you keep surprising me like this, I might just start tolerating your presence."

Flame chuckled along half-heartedly, hoping to sweep his less-than-moral methods out of his friends' thoughts.

"How about we get away for now?" he said, throwing a brief glance towards the market square, "I doubt that merchant's going to look for us in this mess, but I'd rather not take the risk."

Motioning his teammates forth with a paw, Flame retreated down the alleyway, back in the direction of Camp Tempest.

Albeit they'd technically obtained what they came here for, the atmosphere around Team Phalanx was one of palpable uneasiness.

"So much for the team base," Alice sighed and looked away, as she dodged a passing Rattata, "Guess we're back to eating berries every day. Again…"

Flame could not help but flinch, both mentally and physically. There was an underlying melancholy in her voice that almost made him want to hug her to make her feel better. Stroke those fluffy head wings, he pictured in his head. But would it be seen as demeaning?

"Hey…" he said, laying a claw on the back of her neck, "Look at the bright side. At least we can eat decently, even if it's just this once."

While admittedly he hadn't said much, it seemed enough to lift a small smile back on her face.

The Dragonair turned to him, visibly regaining her composure. "You're right. It's no use whining like this. It's been ages since I've had cheese—I should be grateful, if anything."

Flame felt a small twinge of pride reverberate through his body—a mental sigh of relief. Even though he was powerless to do anything about the prices, he felt it was his duty in a way to keep morale high nonetheless. A short moment of silence ensued as the three of them exited the greasy alleyway and backtracked through the similarly unkempt slums from before. A part of him wondered why Gaius did not wish to commence eating at once; then he remembered that proles would not hesitate jump at them like insects at the naked sight of fresh bread.

Soon enough, after no more dilapidated insulae followed, and the cacophony of strident voices ebbed away, the same upward slope walked so many times to and fro Camp Tempest appeared. The encampment's lone guard tower loomed against swirling, tar-black clouds. He thought he spotted its guard kindle a torch to ward off the cumulating shadows.

It was then that Gaius spoke up.

"Anybody wanna eat?"

Gleeful approval came from Alice without delay.

Although Flame shared a certain kind of anticipation, he waited a second before speaking. "Out here? What if it rains?"

Gaius shrugged, wandering over to a patch of roadside grass. "Then we get wet. Cover the bread, if need be."

"Yeah, easy for you to say..." Flame huffed, paw instinctively clutching his tail tip. Nevertheless the Grovyle immediately detected a certain lack of resistance.

"I've heard of Charmanders who learnt to swim right out the egg," said Gaius, plopping himself down, "Don't tell me a few drops are too much to bear."

When no objection followed, Gaius took it as a green light. Their leader grabbed a lonely loaf of bread—around the length of his forearm—and carefully brought his leaf blade down akin to a guillotine. It broke into two rough halves, causing a shower of crumbs to scatter all over.

Flame nodded courteously as he was handed one half. He gazed down with perhaps too much zeal. It looked so much purer, so much softer than what his teeth were accustomed to!

The Grovyle dug the twin slices of cheese out of his bag; gingerly he slashed the fresh bread open —without spilling too many crumbs, for each was precious—and inserted one of the two pieces of cheese inside.

At once, Flame's own piece received similar treatment, and now, the bread stood firmly within his grip, flaps of cheese dangling from the sides, his mouth salivating involuntarily. Neither of the two items emitted much of a scent, but he figured it was already an improvement over the stench that had slowly become normal for him.

Had it been good custom, he would have gladly begun licking the individual breadcrumbs scattered on his claws.

Just when his jaws nearly clamped down on his meal, the expression on Alice's face stopped him mid-act.

"What's wrong?" Flame raised a bemused eyebrow.

That question answered itself wordlessly when he noticed that she held no meal in her tail's end. The Dragonair did not speak, though her features revealed a tiny bit of annoyance.

That might be a problem, he thought, alternating looks between his piece of bread and the one in Gaius' paws. The Grovyle sank his teeth into his, wholly concentrated, only noticing the dilemma after a second bite.

"Uh-oh. There's only two slices. Plus two pieces of bread," Gaius uttered while chewing, careful not to spit anything, "Looks like someone'll have to eat less."

A momentary silence cloaked all three of them. They exchanged looks with one another, but nobody seemed to gather the will to volunteer.

Ah, just what we needed…Flame cursed mentally. His claws seemed to dig further into the hardy crust for a few seconds. A bit of it was chipped off. Biting his lip, he exhaled audibly, and extended his half-loaf in Alice's direction.

"Take it," he said, "I can wait until dinner."

The cobalt-scaled dragon proceeded to eye him as one would eye a lunatic. "Surely you are joking? Don't be ridiculous—we can divide it up again."

"But it's already quite small," Flame insisted, "I-I can't possibly make you eat so little. Take it," he extended the bread in her direction again.

Alice held her tail up in a blocking motion. "No, no, split it. I insist."

"Really, I'm not that hungry right—"

"Flame, I refuse to eat that other half. Throw it away, if you truly want."

He knew that there could be no further negotiating. Although he'd be shirking his portion, on the other hand, he smiled. So, the already smaller half-loaf was split once again, and he handed Alice her rightful piece.

"Guess it won't be me," Gaius shrugged with a grin, and tore another chunk out of his meal.

Resting his rear against the tickly grass stalks, Flame shifted his attention to his now-diminished nourishment in his hands. In a few minutes, it had gone from looking enough to satiate him throughout the day to just enough to fit in his paws.

I'm in no real position to complain, am I? he shrugged mentally, and gave his rations a tentative nib.

Right away, the sweet, dominant flavour of cheese inundated his taste buds—nearly drowning out everything else. Salty yet one could feel the faint trace of oil and butter. The only reason his brain hadn't completely forgotten about the bread was its crust; as crunchy as a biscuit, so brittle that it cracked audibly when he pressed down with his teeth. Entire grains of it fell to the ground with each gnaw.

Mid-way through chewing, he dedicated a few seconds to throw a glance at his friends. Both had only taken minute bites out of their meal, likely to savour every grain. And—

Flame's heart jumped so much that, for a fleeting moment, he forgot about his hunger. It was the first time he'd seen sparkles in their eyes. Their usual demeanour seeped with traces of calm: eagerness behind each bite, Alice's tail swinging back and forth unconsciously, both within metres of him. The sight enthralled his eyes. He'd certainly seen what struggles Team Phalanx experienced daily, heard of years and years spent under even more austere conditions.

Yet, here they all were, sitting merrily by the roadside. Happy. Even as the first raindrops splattered against his back, he smiled.


Thunder boomed somewhere far-off, causing Flame to jerk in place out of instinct. Rain still pelted his back. Once he sneaked a look to the side to make certain none of his teammates saw, he kept his neck arced downwards, paws cradling his fiery tail tip.

At first it had only been a slow shower, but by the time they had reached Camp Tempest proper, it had settled into a ceaseless rhythm.

Whose idea was it to put a bulletin board under the god-forsaken rain? Flame struggled to hold back a grimace, his throat starting to tighten.

"Can't you bring those fliers inside?" Alice raised her voice, "If it pours down any heavier, I think Flame's going to pass out. And I'm not exactly enjoying myself, either."

"Almost done," Gaius mumbled back, oblivious to their discomfort. When they arrived, there were a mere seven fliers left affixed; and the Grovyle insisted upon reading each one, back hunched forward to act as a roof of sorts.

Flame did not find the energy to voice his discomfort. Whereas other pokémon might have found raindrops to be minor annoyances—water-types enjoyed them, those wretched beasts—he likened the experience closer to painful chunks of ice. No, pinpricks; that's what they were, tiny pinpricks leaking cold through to his bones.

"So? What is it?" Alice said, forwarding a hint of impatience.

Gaius straightened his back, letting the various fliers get pummeled by rainwater, becoming soaked within seconds.

"Nothing," Gaius said plainly, "Absolutely nothing. 'Rebuild collapsed bridge'; 'interrogate suspected reactionaries'; 'reinforce the Fifth Legion in Colonia Basilea', and so on. One would involve travelling half-way across the province, and the other is out of our league."

"And?" Alice pressed on, "The bridge assignments sounds feasible to me. Besides, you can't possibly make me believe that there is not a single everyday rescue mission."

Gaius suddenly lifted his foot and kicked a small pile of dirt onto the damp flyers.

"Problem is," Gaius hissed, clenching his fists, "The payout is worthless. Fifteen-thousand poké? Sweat and grime for an entire day to earn nothing?!"

"… So what do we do now?" Alice alternated looks between her teammates, her scales—Flame noted—almost gleamy because of the rain.

Gaius cupped his face in his paws, then exhaled audibly. "I swear, if I see that lizard bitch I'll slit her throat out. Either that, or the proles will do it. Hope they burn down her villa, too."

Flame had not opened mouth (it wouldn't have been right, to complain), yet it was becoming increasingly difficult not to openly yell at his leader's face.

"… Gaius?" he said, amazed at how feeble his voice sounded right then.

Thankfully, Alice seemed to take notice of his plight. Another thunder crackled in the distance, this one just a tad fainter.

"We can call this off, if you want," Alice told him, a little disappointed, "Stay home for the day. But, first of all, let's get out of this god-forsaken rain."

Flame could only oblige, and trail his teammates to the nearest roofed building, which, despite being a few hundred metres off, still demanded that they step through a lagoon of mud. He grimaced in the process, the gooey substance latching onto his feet and between his toes, only to notice that Alice had it even worse than him. Because of her serpentine body, more of her underside became coated with the filth. He told her not to fret; the rain would wash it off.

Sweet, sweet warmth returned to his body the moment they pushed the twin doors to a nearby building open, leading into some kind of lobby area. There were numerous Civil Protection officers, not unlike Team Phalanx, huddled in groups of three or four—he took glee in noting the number of fire-types. None of them Charmeleon, though.

Flame set one foot in front of the other with extra care. The wooden pavement was one big puddle, and Team Phalanx's arrival likely did little to help. Besides that, he could still hear those infernal, phantom raindrops rattling in his ears, as if his body had yet to fully realise that there were none.

That's probably why it took him a second to notice a massive Scizor shove another nearby Vulpix against the wall to reach them.

"Psst! Hey!" the Scizor waved its pincer to draw attention.

Team Phalanx halted collectively, staring up as the tall insectoid stepped ever closer. Light from overhead lamps refracted off the insectoid's red, metallic exoskeleton, making it seem gleamier than it probably was.

"You three. Task Force Aegis?" his voice was coarse, as though channelled via a metal grate.

Neither of them responded, instead staring bemused, unsure of what to say.

"Looks like it," the Scizor answered himself, eyeing the badges pinned on their bags, "I need your help with something. Come."

"Apologies, mister," Alice narrowed his eyes, "I don't believe we know each other. Who are you?"

The Scizor remained impassible, nonchalantly tapping the thin, imperial-purple scarf tied round his neck. "Imperial Army. Let me explain: part of my troops are tied down in Victory Square to control some ongoing unrest. That means bureaucracy won't allow me to launch a raid without recruiting more participants. I need two minimum. Interested?"

Flame turned his head to exchange looks with his teammates. Such a proposal would grant them something to do for the day, yet he could not help but shake a veil of weariness that came with anything regarding the Imperial Army.

He really didn't want to see Virgo or Yvaine again, either.

"Oh. But s-sir, why us? Aren't there other pokémon fit for the job?" Alice asked.

"My colleagues would rather see my head roll than lend me their troops," the Scizor said, "All that's left here at Tempest are these lousy fire-types, and they whine like cubs at the thought of going out in the rain."

The officer barely seemed to acknowledge the glares directed at him throughout the room, shifting his eyes to Flame. "Your friend here looks tougher in comparison. So? What will it be?"

Flame blinked, caught unprepared by the compliment. He didn't quite mind—even if it did only serve to appease him.

Now it was Gaius who spoke up, arms crossed. "Sir, I'm sorry, but our current rank does not allow us to take joint assignments with the Imperial Army. Accepting would be against the rules."

Flame leant over to the side, whispering. "Oh, right. Even after we completed that mission, she still hasn't promoted us, did she?"

"Damn right she didn't," Gaius murmured back, "Probably doesn't even care."

The Scizor let out a near-metallic noise akin to a groan. While outwardly impassible, a quick glance at its eyes revealed mounting impatience. "Look, I'll give you two days' worth of mess hall meals. Just a simple raid on some insulae. Suspected reactionaries. My squad is competent: there will be no threat to your life."

Flame took a step backwards, beckoning his teammates to follow.

"So, what do you think? Do we risk it?" he said in a hushed tone.

"It would certainly give us something to do for the day," Alice said, "And the food sounds promising, too."

Gaius kept his arms crossed, gaze lost in thought. "Yeah. There isn't really much of a choice; Ariel just made every mission on the bulletin board worthless. Damn her. Let's just hope no one finds out."

"But … what if she does?" Flame asked, biting his lower lip.

"Then we'll starve. Just like if we turn down this offer," Gaius looked him straight in the eye.

Still not entirely comfortable with what they were about to do, Flame acquiesced nevertheless. There were still a plethora of questions going unanswered in his head: why would Ariel raise the price of basic goods so abruptly? If they found themselves in trouble, how would the rest of Civil Protection cope? And the proles!

It was Gaius, in function of team leader, who turned to the Scizor. "We accept."

"Perfect. My team will rendezvous at twelve-hundred hours near Domus Aerelia. Be there."

After the Scizor had stepped outside, Flame was left only with hushed blathers of the other pokémon in that lobby, and the rhythmic fizz leaking from outside.

He looked past the doors. It was still pouring.


At least we don't need to travel far... Flame grimaced as he struggled to keep apace with Alice and Gaius, hugging his own chest tightly, tailtip firm within his protective grasp.

If such a thing were even possible, the rain had only intensified ever since entering those moody streets overlooked by Camp Tempest. It must have been high noon, yet telling with any kind of certainty was an impossibility whilst storm clouds barricated the skies above.

Cold jabbed spikes into his concentration with each droplet. He could not so much as take a single step without quivering visibly. On the upside, however, it almost meant that the streets were near-empty—veiled under a thin layer of mist—and the grime which normally coated the pavement slowly washed away.

"Come, let's stop under here for a moment," Gaius gazed back at him, pointing them to a small shop on the pavement surmounted by an awning.

"… Thanks," Flame muttered, mildly surprised at such thoughtfulness. Once beneath the awning, he began squeezing his eyes and shaking off as many droplets as feasible. Within seconds, a mild warmth began to spread—already his tailtip's fire danced jovially. The rain only sounded louder as it ricocheted off the overhead canvas. On impulse he pressed his body against the shop's entrance, perhaps in a vague hope that the owner had foolishly left it unlocked. No such luck.

"Don't worry," Alice said, "I'm pretty sure our mission is going to take place inside. Hopefully it'll clear up by then."

"Hopefully," Flame replied, gaze wandering all over. He could feel his thoughts become a little clearer with each passing moment. He realised that this might have possibly been the first act of kindness ever offered by his leader. Perhaps things would get better between the two of them. Yet soon he would have to step outside his protective haven, and that did little to boost morale.

"Are we late?" he asked.

Gaius shrugged. "Don't think so. I'd rather find out when we get there—Ariel's villa should be a few blocks away."

"Okay. Sorry for … y-you know, slowing us down."

Alice nuzzled his shoulder gently. "Don't worry about it. Heck, I myself can barely function during wintertime. Feels like your brain's encased in ice."

"Oh, Mew, don't remind me…" Gaius groaned, the grass-type cupping his claws over his face.

A wry smile crossed the Dragonair's face. "Come winter, I bet we'll be the ones having to apologise. Expect that tail fire of yours to be abused extensively."

Flame could not help but be infected by her smile. "Mobile torch and warm blanket? Man, I just keep on finding new roles to fill…"

Gaius interrupted them both by tapping his foot loudly against the ground. "Let's not loiter too long. We can chat along the way, if you want."

Any sort of glee in Flame's mind vanished as quickly as those words were uttered. With great reluctance, he swallowed back an impulsive groan and stepped forth into the rain.

The three of them marched along with further impetus, perhaps empathetic to his misery. Somewhere in remote distance, thunder boomed. They passed by what Gaius said was Ariel's villa: he could not quite see it beyond the tall walls, overseen by Bisharp guards whose metallic armour gleamed moist as it refracted his passing tail fire.

If these legionaries are anything like Virgo and Yvaine, I'm going back to Tempest, Flame clenched his fists at the thought of those two.

Tightening his self-embrace, he spoke, struggling to maintain coherent syllables. "Have you two ever worked with legionaries before? A-apart from our escort, the other day."

Never turning directly to him, Gaius shook his head."Nah, that fortress mission was a first. Never bothered to speak to one before. I can't stand the thought of those pompous twats faring better than us."

"R-r-really?" Flame said, "How? Do they get better pay?"

"Not quite," Alice chimed in, "Legionaries do not receive 'pay' in the traditional sense. However, they have a mess hall which serves breakfast and dinner rations every day."

Flame stared directly at her. "That … t-that sounds amazing! Why don't we enlist? It would solve all our problems with making ends meet!"

Alice seemed to halt for a moment, as if caught unprepared by his statement. "I … suppose you're right, technically. I myself considered joining the Imperial Army when I first came to Aesernia. But…" her gaze drifted from his eyes. "What if we're forced to serve on the front lines? That Scum encampment back inside the fortress was small—it is dangerous to press one's luck. I just don't want to exchange death by starvation for death by mutilation."

Flame was so enthralled that the rain clawing at his scales became close to an afterthought. She was right, he thought, no particular type of demise appealed to him over another. Yet, none of them could ignore that lack of food continued to weigh on their every step, with each sunrise, and winter looming ever nearer.

"Yeah," Gaius said, "That, and the ridiculous recruitment fee you have to pay. Because of it, most soldiers end up being sons and daughters of rich Southern pricks."

"Actually, that doesn't hold true anymore," Alice pointed out.

Gaius scoffed. "Wait, are you being serious?"

A vigorous nod followed by Alice. "There was a paper I found last time we went scavenging, dating a couple of days back. It said that General Sycorax has announced plans to axe membership fees, as to make enrollment more appealing."

Gaius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. "Ah, great. Now Southern pricks can serve beside Southern proles. As if the Imperial Army wasn't already incompetent enough."

Flame scanned their faces for any signs. Both Alice and Gaius looked on quiescently in contemplation, still considering the topic. Doubtless it brought impulsive skepticism, but Team Phalanx needed to acknowledge every possible option.

Let's just focus on the mission for now, Flame thought, just as the three of them turned a corner and detoured through a shanty prole street of nearly identical three-storey houses, only marginally cleaner due to rainfall.

Albeit their given assembly point was kept sort of vague, it didn't take very long for them to spot a small gathering of six, maybe seven pokémon by the roadside. With the streets being nearly deserted, this had to be their temporary colleagues. He mentally praised their common sense for standing underneath a fairly large balcony jutting out of a prole apartment, and quickly slipped under it himself, disregarding formalities.

All eyes turned to Team Phalanx.

"Here's those civvies the captain sent us," sneered a snow-furred canine, garnishing a large scythe-like protuberance from its face. Flame had to take a step backwards to dodge an erratic swing when its owner looked to the side.

"That's us," Gaius nodded, "Is everything set for the mission?"

The Absol took a second to reply, seemingly forcing back a sneer. "Yes. Intel says our target lives just a few hundred metres out. Male, Combusken. Weather should make sure he's home. Come."

The Absol motioned with his head once again, prompting Flame to jump back at a swinging head-scythe. Their entourage of legionaries walked forth down the right side, close enough for snippets of speech to leak to his ears.

"What was he thinking, hiring three worthless sacks?" the Absol murmured to a goofy fire-duck creature.

"Shouldn't we trust the captain?" the Magmar replied, "He must have seen something in them."

"Nah, they're civvies—they'll find some way to mess it all up."

Brow furrowed in internalised animosity, Flame followed the legionaries from beneath balcony-to-balcony up to one of the many three-storey insulae dotting the street. This one actually featured a door—its wood chipped off, yet still standing. Claw marks could be seen all over, forming patterns as though impromptu graffiti. From the tail of his eye, he could have sworn he spied figures shifting from behind the cracked window.

"… 'Right, this is it," the Absol proclaimed as they stared down the door, "Know the basics of breaching?"

Team Phalanx gave one another a brief glance, remaining silent.

"Figures," the legionary said, displaying a pompous grin which only made his face more punchable to Flame.

Gaius was containing his expression to display a staunchly neutral visage. The grass-type played with his forearms, eyeing his leaf blades. "Where's your boss—Scizor guy?"

If such a thing was possible, the Absol was locked in a staring stand-off. "The captain's not participating. As his second-in-command, I make the rules here."

Then one legionary, an overgrown turtle with head-wings almost as fluffy as Alice's, laid a hand on the Absol's shoulder. "Lieutenant, keep your voice down! Or else we'll blow our cover."

Lieutenant Absol shot back towards his colleague at once, before finally giving in with a snort.

"Fine, then," the Absol said in a hushed tone, "Standard procedure. You three, line up behind me. Sergeant, get ready to breach."

Flame looked on along with his teammates as the six legionaries spontaneously took position by both sides of the door: five soldiers to the right, headed by the Magmar, whilst the Absol posted lonesome by the door's left. When the latter turned and growled, Team Phalanx expedited to avoid any further insults.

I'm still going to punch him when this is over, Flame grinned to himself, as he reared his soon-to-be victim. He was abruptly shaken out of his fantasies when he felt the ceaseless rain batter his scales like grape-sized hail. Whilst gritting his trembling teeth tight, he spotted the Magmar glance with a glimmer of sympathy. Glass shards poked at his feet; now that Gaius and Alice were in position, this torture would hopefully end once inside.

Combusken. No idea what one looks like, so I'll just follow what the others do.

"On your mark," said lieutenant Absol, foreknees bent in preparation. A quasi imperceptible black aura surrounded the soldier's head-scythe.

The Magmar nodded. Facing the door, it took two, three steps back, taking one long breath. Then, in the span of mere moments, it opened its beak-like mouth, and out streamed a jet of fire. Steam began hissing and swirling the air as waterdrops kept falling without care onto the flamethrower attack. When the Magmar cut its onslaught short, lieutanant Absol let out a violent cry and brought his charged scythe down on the weakened surface. The result was imminent: the door burst into a thousand pieces, scattered both inside and outside, leaving nothing recogniseable but sawdust and smouldering, steaming chunks of charcoal.

Flame had not the time to uncover his eyes from the shower of splinters before the Absol dashed indoors, and the remaining team members scrambled to follow suit. His tail fire brought illumination to the gloomy first room. The very first thing his brain registered was a small chicken-like creature with red feathers and vestigial wings for arms shrilling sonorously, flushing out of the room in a blur, its little feet tippering against the wooden floorboards.

"Search the building! Move!" Absol barked, already taking off into an adjacent chamber.

And move he did. Albeit the first room looked barren and dust-ridden—perhaps a former commercial venue—it remained connected with the rest of the apartment building via narrow doorways. He kicked over an oil lamp, the only object present on the floor, and gingerly crossed the doorway's threshold. This room was noticeably larger. Grime and dust coated each wall and even the ceiling showed off mold in between each plank. All windows were boarded up: only his own body's tail light allowed him to discern some four or five figures distributed throughout the featureless room, which soon became closer to ten, gaping wide-eyed at the irrupting soldiers. Suddenly the whole room was in commotion. There were yells of warning from all sides. Someone let out a feminine shriek, nearly toppling a bedside cabinet whilst shooting out of the room. A young Delcatty leapt out of the darkness just ahead of Flame, grabbed her crying kit by the scruff of its neck, and leapt away, all in one motion.

It took no time for murmurs and voices to envelop the whole insula like a swarm of flies.

"Did you hear that?"

"What's happening?"

"Civil Protection!"

"Run for your life!"

At the same instant, lieutenant Absol did not seem phased in the slightest—he halted only for the briefest of moments to gaze at the cowering proles in disgust.

"Target's not here. Move up."

Team Phalanx moved room to room, each accommodating anywhere between two to four families ranging up to a dozen, surrounded by the simplest furniture: an occasional cracked oil lamp, ragged blankets whose sight evoked nausea in Flame. Hardly any windows were present, and even if it had been bright and sunny outside, he figured that most of the rooms would have remained in penumbra regardless. There was only a single functioning door beyond the former entrance. The second he neared it, an insufferable stench resembling that of faeces suggested it served as a communal bathroom.

Oh, please don't vomit now, he repeated in his own head, squeezing his eyes shut and flinching his head away. How could proles possibly tolerate these conditions? To sweat thousand more missions and wear his bones down to dust would have seemed more appealing, rather than spend one night in such squallor. Any one of those inhabitants might have been harbouring enough bacteria and disease to kill him outright. He drifted away from the inhabited chambers into a tiny passage further along the back, where a decrepit-looking set of steps led upwards to a further level.

"Ground floor's clear. No signs of the target," said a legionary Wartortle.

"Understood. Sweep the second floor. Go!"

Lieutenant Absol led the way quickly up the steep and creaking stairs and along a tiny passage, into a room which gave on the cobbled street. There was a strip of cloth on the floor masquerading as carpet, a worn-looking stool, bits of food collected in a corner. One could hear the sound of drops leaking through the ceiling. Other than that, empty. The doorless balcony allowed whatever light present outside to seep in.

It was almost imperceptible—Flame noticed a shadow cast on the balcony's surface. As if setting off a chain reaction, the legionaries caught sight of his gaze, and followed the only logical conclusion.

"Thought you could hide, huh?" exploded Absol, who then charged onto the balcony and tackled the hidden figure on the ground. There was a gasp and a flurry as the rest of the legionaries flung themselves through the small doorway to aid their struggling companion. Neither Flame nor the rest of Team Phalanx did so, instead standing back with a sort of disinterest. Bound by curiosity, he merely allowed himself to peek through the doorway.

A scene was unfolding before his eyes, with the Combusken laying with its belly on the balcony railing, legs up in the air, whereas the legionaries attempted to pull it back and inconvenienced each other in the process via sheer numbers. Eventually, though, no amount of kicks to the face proved enough. The Combusken was dragged back and slammed to the floor, Absol laying a paw on its chest.

"Officers!" the Combusken cried, "Don't take me away! You already got my brother, what more do you want? It was him who insulted Ariel—not me!"

"Why so eager to jump off, then?" Absol sneered.

No answer came from the prole, who instead seemed more busy holding onto the railing's metal bars with exceptional vigour. Alas, it would not last; a kick from a legionary's foot had broken the claws on one of his paws. They dragged him back inside, right under Team Phalanx's reluctant gaze.

"What are you even arresting me for?" spewed out the Combusken in a wheeze.

"Let's see…" Absol hummed, absentmindedly licking his paw's fur clean, "You're charged with counts of inciting unrest, civil disobedience, and … ah, I can't remember. Doesn't matter."

"No! I-I just said my merchandise wouldn't sell—never would I dare to imply that anyone should disobey the law!"

"Oh?" smirked Absol widely, half-sarcastic, half-mocking, "Do we have a confession here?"

The lieutenant did not listen to the following pleads of mercy and attempts at outright bribery.

"Put 'im to sleep," Absol turned to the other team members, who proceeded to follow the order via force-feeding a palm-sized seed into the struggling thing's throat.

It was then that Flame noticed a small audience had gathered. Multiple heads peeked through nearby doorways, exchanging dark whispers, a few even climbing halfway up the stairs to look. Some of those stares he felt almost uncomfortable under, being an unsafe cocktail of contempt and curiosity.

Drifting around the room, Absol came about to open a small bedside chest, fidgeting with its dysfunctional locking mechanism and eventually just slashing it open with a claw. He rummaged for a little while before he grasped a quantity of coins just adept to fill his paws, staring in detached uninterest. As if enlightened by an idea, Absol then turned to Team Phalanx.

"Hey, civvies. Want this?"

Flame stared for a few moments. He inherently predicted a childish trick to gain a few laughs from them, but it couldn't hurt to try. His nod came out more sideways than he had intended. Eyes narrowed, he then took one step forward, unwilling to quite wear any sliver of gratefulness. He extended his arm out—

Ah! Now coins littered the floor, bouncing and rolling onto the balcony and plunging into the yard below, bar a few that stopped rolling and settled on the ground in a small, rhythmic dance. From behind he heard Gaius grumble some indiscernable obscenity directed at the Imperial Army lieutenant.

Within seconds, Absol's superior grin grew until it blew up in laughter, gripping his chest as to not lose balance in the process.

Flame grunted inwardly. He felt more bemused than properly furious. Looking outside, he took notice that the rain had largely subsided. Maybe he wouldn't even need to stay in their tent all-day long.

"Come on, don't tell me you're going to act all offended over a few thousand poké," Absol laughed, "It was junk! Six-thousand poké or so. Weighs more than it's worth."

"Of course, you wouldn't need it for anything," Gaius uttered lowly to his companions when the pokémon in question had turned around. Alice said nothing, merely emitted a tiny sigh embued with patience.

Absol seemed to notice that everyone was sort of standing in place with no real purpose. He barked something to the onlookers watching them from every doorway and began walking toward the stairs. Sensing an unspoken order, two of the bulkier legionaries among the team each grabbed one end of the Combusken's body, lifting the malnourished chicken with minimal effort. The unofficial team leader was precluded from leaving by a small ground of four or five pokémon obstructing the stairs, all of whom had gather to watch.

"What is it? Clear the way!" said Absol.

The commoners stared back, those eyes burning with a fiercer impetus than Flame had imagined possible, but eventually bolted downstairs and vanished into a doorway.


Indeed, the weather had cleared, although the sky resembled nothing like a sunny day. The sphere of fire itself could be seen impressed behind a barrier of clouds, thin tendrils managing to break through. Flame was drifting back on a bench in an ill-traversed street, flanked by his teammates. A sigh escaped his mouth. He hadn't quite kept count of how much time had passed since those legionaries told them to wait in place. Perhaps it was possible that they would never come back. It was the Absol that said it, after all—doubtless the Absol would convince his captain to withhold any reward out of pure amusement.

He turned to his teammates, wary. "Guys, do you … think they're actually going to give us those rations?"

"No idea," Gaius shrugged without returning his look, "This whole mission was off-the-cuff, anyways."

Alice shifted uncomfortably in her coils. "You know, now that you mention it, they really have no incentive to show up. Maybe—maybe we did just waste a working day."

Flame wanted to say something. He wanted to add comforting words, if only to bolster his own hopes of compensation. But those sounds faded in his throat, for his brain picked up on a most odd sensation. A feeble, nearly imperceptible vibration travelling down his bones. At first, he dismissed it as a mere physical hallucination, perhaps a phantom remnant of his time spent under the rain, yet to disappear from his nervous system. It did not cease.

He shifted uncomfortably in place, head twisting round to observe his surroundings. It wasn't just a sensation; the earth was actually shaking him to the core. Even Alice and Gaius seemed to stiffen all of a sudden.

"What the…" he blurted out, incredulous, "A-are you feeling this?"

Neither responded, but the mesmerized look in their eyes counted as an affirmative answer.

First they felt shock-waves that penetrated the ground, and reverberated around them. They all stood there, incredulous, listening as an all-encompassing grumble became ever louder and the shaking ever more tangible. For an instant it would have seemed plausible that a colossal creature was growling underneath Aesernia's foundations. There was a mighty crash somewhere far-off as a heavy roof collapsed under its weight, followed by confused shrieks as proles flocked out of doorways and onto the streets.

"An earthquake. It's a goddamn earthquake," Gaius repeated, springing to his feet, eyes stretched wide.

Suddenly, the tremor had halted, along with the rumbling emitting from the ground itself.

"I—I didn't think I'd ever get to experience one," Alice gaped, eyes bound in a kind of stupour.

"T-they're not common around here, right?" Flame asked, he too unconsciously standing up.

"No, as far as I'm aware," Alice returned an uncomfortable look, "The quake didn't feel very strong, thank Arceus. I … I think the epicentre must have been in a nearby province. There's no other explanation."

Another shock wave threatened to send them down on the ground. Thin cracks began appearing on a nearby building's façade. The three of them seemed to realise that standing there in the open would lead to nowhere.

"Let's get back to Camp Tempest," Alice said as soon as the aftershock settled, "I have a bad feeling about this."


End of Chapter X
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Alright, this review took me a bit longer than expected to piece together, but it’s time to pick up on my series of Flame's Adventures in Amnesia and Excessive Credulity Rebirth before conking out. You'll notice some older content this time around, though there should still be plenty of fresh stuff for you to chew over.

Chapter VIII

Castra Aeterna – B9F

[Having pressed deeper into the fortress' bowels, Flame now knew what signing that contract entailed.]

[Not a moment after the action he had understood somewhat; now, however, dungeons bared their true nature to him. How his knees were still connected and managed to keep him afloat was beyond his understanding. His roaring stomach didn't provide much help either—didn't they stop to eat just a few floors ago?]

"Can we at least rest for a moment? I'm starting to feel dizzy…"

"No. We'll eat once we locate our objective." Gaius scoffed and sent him a look, as the wooden step creaked and bent under his passing weight.

When I read this the first time, I thought this was the story’s handling of the hunger stat, but now… I’m a bit less sure, especially since if it is the hunger stat in action, I’d have expected to see it reflect in the rest of the party more. And we get to see very strong hints that Flame has certain… attributes that would potentially weigh him down in places like these.

The first two paragraphs strike me as a bit iffy, but at the same time lacking “obvious fixes” that don’t potentially change up meanings. You might find it worthwhile considering something like the following for the first paragraph:

[After pressing deeper into the fortress' bowels, Flame understood what signing that contract back in Camp Tempest entailed.]

And for the second, I think something like the following would sound smoother, but dunno if the nuance is the same as intended:

[He’d thought he’d understood it somewhat back then, but now, after slogging through Treehound Cove and now this abandoned fort, he now understood the true nature of the Mystery Dungeons he was tasked to journey through. He didn’t know how his knees were still functioning after everything he’d endured and managing to keep him on his feet. His roaring stomach wasn't providing much comfort either—didn't they stop to eat just a few floors ago?]

Flame: "Gaius, how are you not starving right now? And if we're about to charge into a Scum encampment, shouldn't we not be doing it on an empty stomach?"
Gaius: "So they can overhear us snarfing down food and then catch us off guard? Hard pass there."
Flame: "You do realize that if they overhear our stomachs growling as we're sneaking around, that that's going to turn out about as well, right?"

A passing torch lit the dust around Virgo's insistent smirk. "Oh, really? That's precious. Are we going to bash their skulls in with fruit?"

Heaving, Flame dared to look to his side. The bridge-like passageway floated over a dark drop-down, only connected to reality by a rough stairway carved into the rock.

Waaaaait a minute, I thought that there weren’t torches on the prior floors of this Mystery Dungeon and the team had been keeping Flame around for that purpose. If things have changed on this floor, you should probably emphasize that by describing the features on this floor a bit more and identifying them as features, or else emphasize that that’s Flame’s tail fire that’s lighting Virgo up. Also a small bit where you’re missing a ‘to’.

"Before engaging the enemy, idiot," Gaius hissed and flicked his wrist. [ ]

"Gaius, I do not think there would be enough time," Alice argued, "An ambush is best fought with a full belly, after all."

"Never heard that one before,” he retorted. “Though just stay quiet a moment and let me think in peace."

[ ] For a few minutes, Gaius got his wish, minus the creaking floorboards and pillars running underneath them. Somewhere in the distance, a heavy grinding noise—almost like that of a massive rock shifting—echoed to no end. Meanwhile, the bridge began feeling more and more [suspended] as it ran, but Flame tried not to [delve too deep into such questions]. Truth be told, the worrisome sounds and state of the bridge weren’t even his biggest concerns right then.

Okay, a lot of suggested tweaks in this bit. Going step-by-step:

IMO, you’d be well-served by adding some body language from Alice there in the two sections in empty brackets to give a better feel for her state of mind and mannerisms both before she raises her objection to Gaius, and to the part where he just rolls over her. Since it’s established in later chapters that Alice had a tendency to let Gaius bully her around as the team leader, and while that seems to be what happened here, it’s not communicated too clearly.

For Gaius’ line, I rephrased it a little to try and do a twofer of sounding more natural and adding a speech tag to make it obvious it’s him and not Virgo cutting in, since Gaius’ and Virgo’s voice as characters are actually somewhat similar to each other (though part of me wonders if that’s a deliberate character foil thing since Yvaine also has similar “bookworm” vibes going on as Alice). Both of them have a tendency to snark and make putdowns, so it makes unattributed tags sometimes feel like it could’ve come from either of them.

For [suspended], I admittedly wasn’t sure what you were getting at there. For a moment, I thought you meant to use “slack”, as in it felt the bridge was starting to sag… but yeah, couldn’t get a solid read from context, so I didn’t make a hard recommendation there.

For [delve too deep into such questions], none of those things are questions. I’d either frame this as something like [pester his teammates too much asking what those worrisome sensations were] or focus more on Flame’s own stimuli with something like [think too hard about such things]

Flame: "See, even Alice agrees with me here! Can you let us eat already, Gaius?"
Gaius: "Flame, can you just shut up and stop whining already? If you can't skip a meal here and now, how on earth are you going to make it through the winter when we have to skip meals to make money last?"
- Visible seething -
Flame: "Gaius, we wouldn't be in that position if you didn't drink up a quarter of our last paycheck!"
785236292803100683.png


Gradually, he slowed his pace just enough to let Gaius take the lead, while he flanked the others. A quick glance revealed his team's weary faces, illuminated mostly by his tail fire and the occasional torch on the wall. He bit his tongue softly, [and weighed his options].

"H-hey, um … are you also feeling hungry right now?" he whispered to Alice.

"Yes, don't worry. It’s normal, the dungeon's just taking a toll on everyone."

"Then why is he acting like that?"

[ ]


"You know how he is, Flame,” Alice sighed. “Besides, I believe Grass-types like him usually have slow metabolisms, or something similar. So he’s not feeling the effects as much as us yet."

Oh, so you are having torches on the wall here. Yeah, probably want to establish that in some earlier description. As for [and weighed his options], it probably makes more sense to specify to some capacity that it’s “weighing his options to bring up his hunger” and have him get the idea to try Alice for support.

The entire last bit is admittedly going a bit out on a limb, but I attempted to make Alice’s line a bit clearer and add a speech tag. For it to work most effectively, you probably also want to slip some sort of body language/reaction after “Then why is he acting like that?” since it’s a chance to hint at how she feels internally about Gaius and why in spite of him not being a particularly good friend, she still sticks to him.

Flame: “That… didn’t answer why he’s like that, Alice.” -_-;
Gaius: "Tch, are you still whining about eating right now, Flame? Never heard of photosynthesis? You didn't think these leaves on me were just for show, did you?"
- Gaius saunters off as Alice looks on and shakes her head. -
Alice: “Look, I have some… ideas, but Gaius is just an inherently prickly personality, alright? What more is there to say?” -_-;
Flame: “(Leaving me to get chased around screaming by a Rhyhorn’s a bit more than just a ‘prickly personality’!)” >.<

Flame shut his eyes, shaking for a second. "I just hope we can get back home soon. Even I’m starting to feel cold."

[ ]

"This … passage has been continuing for hours," Gaius mumbled suddenly, peering over the edge, "There is no telling where it ends, nor if our objective is on this floor at all."

Virgo snickered for the umpteenth time. "Starting to think the 'intelligence' Ariel gave us was bogus. Maybe she just wanted [you three away]—ever thought of that?"

Nonsense. I remember Alice saying the emperor himself sanctioned this expedition… Flame frowned to himself. [(he knew the Gabite was joking, yet still took everything so seriously!)]

Alice seemed to share his feelings, for she turned to face Virgo. "You keep joking, yet this is a very urgent situation. If [that filth doesn't show up soon], we may have to consider sleeping here."

Okay, a few things here that I felt didn’t necessarily have straightforward solutions. The first is to slip in a little bit of description to show what Gaius is doing relative to his surroundings before cutting back to him, since Alice and Flame just had a bit of a private aside between themselves.

For [you three away], I’d suggest one of [send you three away] or [get rid of you].

For [(he knew the Gabite was joking, yet still took everything so seriously!)], something about this phrasing feels redundant to Alice’s dialogue right afterwards. I might be getting the nuance wrong from your intent, but you might find something like [He assumed the Gabite was just making another of his wisecracks, but in spite of that he somehow seemed to take everything more seriously than his demeanor let on.] handy

For [that filth doesn't show up soon], I assume Alice is referring to the encampment they were tasked to find. It might make sense to explicitly frame it as such by something like [that encampment doesn’t turn up soon] .

Gaius: "Also what, were you raised by Mightyena or something, Virgo? Why the hell are you laughing when you're stuck in this gods-forsaken hole with us too, you know!"
Virgo: “Maybe, but I’m not the one who needed to call in the cavalry to carry my sorry ass.”

"And?" Virgo shrugged, "Sounds doable."

"Why, [have you any information on the matter]?” the Dragonair pressed. “Personal experience?"

Yvaine shook her head. "Zero records about it ever being attempted. I suspect there is a reason for that."

Good. Wouldn't dream of sleeping anywhere next to those … weirdos. Flame gained a half smile and shot a glance at the legionaries. To be completely honest with himself, he could barely tolerate seeing them within five metres of his friends right now.

Some odds and ends, though I feel the part of Alice’s line in brackets works better as something like [what makes you so sure] since she’s trying to figure out why Virgo just said camping out in the Mystery Dungeon would be doable when everything we’ve seen thus far about MDs in this story would logically make Alice very hesitant to try that out without some receipts.

Also, I’m still expecting it to turn out that Flame ran into Virgo and Yvaine sometime around or before the time when he was mind-wiped. There’s just no way his consistent undertones of hostility and dread towards those two came from just his first impressions from their meeting in the bar.

- Virgo snorts and rolls his eyes -
Virgo: "Well aren't you just a prim and proper little [Vestal] here? Lighten up, Flamey. The world's not going to end if I cop a look at my Playdrakes at the other end of our encampment."
Flame: “Okay, now I definitely don’t want to sleep anywhere around you two. (What on earth is it with these two making me feel like they’re actively plotting to kill me or something like that?)” >_>;

Just then, Gaius turned round and delivered them all a sharp glare.

"Well? If you want to say something, tell it to my face."

"M-maybe we could, um…" Flame stammered, "We could stop as soon as there's solid land under our feet. It’d give us a chance to find our bearings again."

Gaius let out an audible sigh "Listen, I'm sick and tired of hearing your whines every other turn. Didn't we stop a few floors ago?"

While Gaius was technically correct, his argument did little to solve the issue at hand [ ]. What was he supposed to do, merely rely upon the hope that this floor teemed with hidden Scum [ ]? If anything, such a thought only worsened his apprehension—perhaps they stood on this very bridge, ready to knock him into the abyss!

Some odds and ends suggestions, though I think it’d make sense to explicitly lay out what the issue at hand is. Which I’d assume is them being worn down by the MD. From there, you’d augment Flame’s hope to include a blurb about being able to defeat the Scum that may or may not be hidden on the floor. Since if you’re walking up to them about ready to pass out from hunger… yeah, might as well just wave a white flag there.

Flame: "What?! Why the hell would I want to stop on a floor filled with Scum?! I'm tired and my stomach's running on empty right now! That’s about that last time I’d want to run into them!" O_O;
Gaius: "Gods, I know I had my doubts when we fished you out of that cave, but you really are a southerner with that attitude." >.<

What he didn't predict, was that a wooden floorboard would unexpectedly crack under Gaius' next step. The Grovyle's momentum suddenly left him—only one foot firmly on the next board—while the other was sucked downwards. The grass-type fell belly-down and sunk his claws into one of the boards further head, hurriedly dislodging his leg from the treacherous void.

Nobody dared to breathe.

Flame silently stared at his team leader, at the bridge underneath his feet. Out of nowhere his ears were picking up on a thousand different creaks and whines from the strained wooden planks—cracks, splinters, dents, all his eyes could see! The yearning for sunlight and rest must have desensitised him to the constant threat posed by the dungeon's very surroundings, he supposed.

A distant crashing noise leaked from the void, just in time for Gaius to carefully stand upright.

"Fuck me, that was close…" Gaius uttered with a tone akin to aggression, "Let's just get off this death trap. Now."

Some more odds and ends for you there. Though on the plus side, they found a bottom to that void. Possibly.

All: “Nope nope nope nope.
Gaius: “Again, let’s hurry up with that ‘get off this death trap’ part!”
401074476474957834.png


Thankfully, the hard stone came soon thereafter: a rudimentary room, uneven by the fortress' standards, abruptly cut off the comparatively frail bridge. Each of them could do nothing but stop in relief, with Flame plopping himself on the floor, watching as the beads of sweat slid to the floor.

It certainly did feel pleasant [not having a precarious footing (though could he truly be sure?—dungeons tended to arouse such doubts in him)].

Still panting lightly, Gaius turned to Flame. "One minute. Then, we get moving again." he said in a flat tone, "I'm counting."

For the bit in brackets, I think something about it doesn’t quite work. You might want to consider something like [having his feet back on solid ground… but how sure could he be about that? Everything about dungeons always seemed to make him doubt moments of seeming respite.] Not sure if it hits your desired beats, but the overall bit the bracketed section should IMO accomplish should be “glad I’m back on terra firma, but am I really safe right now?”

Flame: "Oh, so now you want to stop and rest." >_>;
Gaius: "Look, just shut up and take your break before I change my mind."

Flame could only nod courteously, before his paws snapped for his bag, finding it difficult to open. He hastily yanked a small loaf of bread from there, its crust tainted an unappealing brown shade, and hesitated a second before sinking his teeth into it. [ ] A grimace took over his face for a moment—it tasted of absolutely nothing, but he couldn't let so many crumbs spill about. [ ]

"Over. Form on me." Gaius uttered just as Flame and the others swallowed their last bites.

Lingering for an extra five seconds, Flame groaned as he stood up and fell back in line. Perhaps it would have been better to have never tempt his body with the prospect of rest in the first place.

Some odds and ends but I think you probably want to add some description into the brackets. The first set seems like a good opportunity to show some of those crumbs spilling about to panic Flame over wasting food. The second seems like a handy place to say something to the effect of “Flame tried to eat more carefully, but before he knew it, Gaius snapped him back to attention with a sharp bark.”

Flame: “That was so not a minute!” >.<
Gaius: “How is it my fault you eat at the pace of a Slakoth? Quit crying and get moving, Flame.” >_>;

The next room which came up stood apart from anything the group had witnessed before: a cramped space with walls and ceiling of unrefined stone, though traces of simple patterns and shapes stained its natural harmony. The only way to exit seemed to be through a smaller than usual doorway, with large steps leading upwards.

And that was precisely the path the expeditionary force took, going up one by one since one pokémon at a time could just about all the passage could fit inside it. Flame kept his head low to avoid bumping into the ceiling as he clambered up the cramped stairway spotting barred windows and doors sporadically on either wall.

Some more odds and ends there.

"Faster, you slowpokes!" Gaius barked while sprinting , "No one's throwing a welcoming party."

Flame: “... Isn’t that a good thing, though? Considering the ‘mons here, I’m pretty sure a welcoming party would get us horribly killed.”
Alice: “Flame, think positive right now.” >_>;

Jumbled noises groaned in the distance again. An exhalation of breath, rushing currents, almost like a brewing tempest.

"Guys, um, can you hear that noise? What is it?" Flame voiced his thoughts to his teammates, hoping to obtain a more accurate answer than his head could come up with.

"No idea." Alice shook her head, "It sounds vaguely like a current, but that’s all but physically impossibile."

"Really now? Wouldn't surprise me one bit,” Gaius sneered back. “It's not like dungeons try to make sense anymore…"

Some more recommended tweaks, but hold the phone. Dungeons used to make sense in-setting? Or is Gaius comparing Castra Aeterna to past dungeons he’s skulked around in before?

Soon, the noise only grew closer with each further step. It was then that Team Phalanx faced a barred doorway blocking the path forward, one that did not look easy to break. They noticed there was another, more immediate way out—a hatch of sorts carved into the structure, providing a clear view of…

What the…?

Flame could not help but stare. There was something profoundly wrong with the way the sky looked. Had it gotten dark, or was something clouding the heavens? The only thing he could be sure of was that the sky could only be seen from outside the Mystery Dungeon—a place he had hoped would leave him alone.

Some errata here and there that I feel would help tighten up this section. The one that I feel is probably the most important to work in is turning the transitionary ellipses into some sort of reaction or thought/comment.

Also wait a minute, so is that a Portal Storm that Flame is seeing there? Or is that the Mystery Dungeon messing with him? Since I notice that nobody else is reacting to the stuff Flame is seeing there.

"Looks like someone's going to have to sprout wings." Virgo quipped.

Gaius scraped the wall with his leaf blade, and then heaved a sigh. "Guess I'll do it."

"Whuh? Sprout wings?" Virgo jerked his head back, wide-eyed. Multiple stares directed his way hinted at the answer: no, but Gaius didn’t need wings to get past the wall before them. [ ]

"Aren't there other paths we could take?" Alice said, "The noises coming from above aren’t reassuring me."

Some recommended tweaks there. I kinda went off on expanding the “answer” bit, but I feel that it does make sense to be more explicit there. For the bit in brackets, I think you should consider slipping in some description on Alice’s part of sizing up the ledge and getting antsy since she’s flight-challenged, and even if I’m sure she’d heartily disagree and call it an urban legend, I’m sure that Dragonair being in that state isn’t normal in this setting.

After a few seconds, the grass-type took a sharp breath, bent his knees and arms low and then sprung into the air. Flame raised his chin to witness his team leader awkwardly grabbing a hold of the ledge, hoisting himself up until his form disappeared into the darkness.

Taking note of Flame's expression, Alice shook her head. "Being a gecko confers him with astonishing agility. If only he possessed similar wit…" she added almost to herself.

Flame: “... ‘Wit’?”
Alice: “Okay, there’s a lot of things about Gaius that I wish were more like his agility, but wit’s definitely one of them.” >_>;
Gaius: "Hey! What's wrong with my wit? I'm plenty funny when I want to be!"
- Yvaine and Virgo tilt their heads -
Yvaine: "Hmm... yeah, I'm not seeing it."
Virgo: "Yeah, I know 'mons in charge of giving out corporal punishments with less of a pole up their butt than you!"
- Gaius snorts and peers down from the ledge -
Gaius: "Well excuse me for not laughing at every little thing that goes wrong like some easily entertained Mightyena!"

The comment certainly piqued Flame’s curiosity, but he decided against prying further. After all, this tunnel didn't provide a very comfortable space to talk in.

After waiting two or three more minutes, just as Flame started to doubt if he’d return, Gaius' face peeked from the darkness. He had to admit the sight staring down from the blackness above was unsettling... No, that wasn’t what really bugged him. The thing that bothered him the most was the look in his eyes.

Some more odds and ends for you.

"What's wrong? Found anything?" Alice spoke up, noticing the subtle hints too.

Gaius' facial muscles remained unstirred. He didn't answer for a moment. "See for yourselves."

With that, the Grovyle laid on his stomach and dangled one of his arms from the hatch.

Flame: “Is there a reason why you’re being this cryptic right now?” >_>;
Gaius: “Look, it’s one of those things where it’s easier for you to see than me to explain. Now shut up and get up here.”

Flame, being first in line, glanced back for a moment and extended his own arms to meet his leader's. Just as he started to squeeze down on the wrist, a yelp escaped his mouth when he suddenly felt himself being yanked upwards. Beyond the momentary panic of being in mid-air, he landed with his stomach on the ledge after Gaius decided to let him go. Flame lay on the ledge panting for a moment and with a shaky breath, he wiggled his legs enough not to slip back down.

With some effort, he dragged himself to a solid footing, when he noticed that a gelid sensation suddenly slice through his scales. Not only that, he felt a feeling of pure misery pulse up from his tail—a lone groan escaped him.

He opened his eyes with some difficulties. Gaius stood near him and seemed to utter something—growls covering his voice—while the hatch remained there on the ground.

It took no more than a twist of his head to notice the discrepancy: the air itself jerked and folded into ripples, thin as cobwebs of electricity, while dark and purple smoke billowed overhead. The occasional puncture in the cloud revealed a pinkish sky, with a vague, white singularity the storm clouds seemed to originate from.

Oh, so he is seeing a Portal Storm there. Right, that’s the method the encampment was using to get others out barring the last few stragglers. I think, anyways.

Flame: “W-What in the-? Why am I seeing something that looks just like that Portal Storm the other night?” ._.

Gaius decided to walk closer to him, arms crossed as he raised his voice. "Bah. Cold is supposed to be one of my species' weaknesses, and even I find this tolerable. Get up."

"I … What … What's going on here?" he panted through his teeth, paws in a cup round his tail, "Why is there so much wind? I thought there could be no wind!"

The Grovyle's staunch expression told him nothing. "That's how it's supposed to be. On your feet, now. Help the others up while I check the perimeter."

Flame grinded his jaws together as he stood up. "Wait—do you have any idea of where we are right now?"

Gaius stopped. "The fog makes it hard to see. On top of a tower, I think. I'll need to investigate further."

Flame: “Gaius, you don’t get it, something’s wrong here!”
Gaius: “Yes, it’s called you’re here shivering like a little leaf while I’m helping the others to get up. Either pitch in or shut up.” >_>;
- Beat moment -
Alice: "Gaius, shouldn't we be worried at all that Flame's feeling cold as a Fire-Type and you're not?"
Gaius: "Hrmph, I don't see anything that can't be explained by him never setting foot outside the South until he decided to poke around that cave. Hell, maybe that sort of delicate nature's why he almost died there."

Sensing the irritation in Gaius’ voice, Flame decided to zip up any further questions and turned to the hatch. Having to uncover his tail to the elements made it troublesome to concentrate, yet he tried not to focus on the pain.

He got down on his belly, and leant down with the upper portion of his body as his tail swung erratically behind. In the penumbra, he could make out Alice's outline and her shiny blue orbs.

"Flame? What's wrong up there?" she spoke up after seeing him peek, "You're both taking a really long time."

Flame bit his lip. "Uh … It's hard t-to explain. Gaius said we all need to climb up,” he said “Here, l-let me help you."

A couple odds and ends for you.

Alice: “Wait, does Gaius even know if it’s safe up there?”
Gaius: “No, but nowhere’s really safe in places like these, so hurry it up!”

Carefully he extended both his arms as far down down as he could reach, at least without risking to budge the lower part of his body and plunge right onto his teammate's head.

"Oh," the Dragonair shifted in the dark, "I … suppose there isn't another way up, is there?"

The question caught Flame off-guard. He knew he had been a bit clumsy in the past, but did Alice not even trust him to hoist her up safely?

"N-no …? Look, I'll just call Gaius and—"

"Oh, worry not, 'tis fine," Alice shook her head and slithered forward into the limelight, "Embarrassing or not, I'm just being stupid right now."

Some reflow suggestions. Also, I feel that it might be worth patching in some sort of reaction to the underlined bit, since Alice likely is referring to something very specific about herself with that dialogue. But at the same time, when looking from the outside in, Flame would likely assume that Alice is talking about him there.

Flame: “E-Embarrassing? I’m not doing that bad of a job right now, am I?” >///<
Alice: “Technically I was referring more to m- er… nevermind, you didn’t hear any of that.”

With that, she positioned her head under the hatch, and made her best attempt at stretching her serpentine body upwards.

Even then, Flame could not so much as touch her. [A grunt marked his incapacity to follow a simple task.] After suppressing his breath, he dug his feet further into the ground, before daring to stretch his upper body even further into the darkness. First thing he came into contact with were the small wings on both sides of her head—perhaps lingering there a bit too long, as he grasped them and noted just how fluffy they felt. Milliseconds before it could possibly turn weird, he moved his claws further down to beneath her snout, and clenched in a spot which he hoped would not deprive her of oxygen.

Although the contact with her silky scales roused a most peculiar sensation in his gut, he trembled as he forcefully drew her head closer towards him. He felt (and heard) Alice turn rigid, even gag a little. With a [further groan] on his part, her head surfaced, followed by the rest of her body. The moment he'd crawled back enough for her entire length to lie on solid ground, he loosened his grasp, and sat there, needy for air.

Some more odds and ends though there’s two bits that I feel need touching up but couldn’t get a solid read on.

For [A grunt marked his incapacity to follow a simple task.] , I assume you meant for something where Flame gives an “ugh” moment over struggling with a simple order like [ Flame grunted, cursing himself for his seeming inability to follow a simple task. ], but wasn’t sure if I was picking up on the right nuance there.

For [further groan], it’s unclear whether that’s from him exerting effort or bemoaning “great, screwing up harder here”. Might want to make it more explicit which of those two flavors Flame’s going through there.

Alice: “Flame, would it have killed you to grab onto me a bit lower where it wouldn’t feel like I was being choked?” >///<
Flame: “Er… sorry? In my defense I couldn’t exactly see well there.” ._.;

Alice too gasped for air, albeit for different reasons, and glanced down at herself for a moment. The slightest of frowns marred her cheeks.

"A-are you okay?" Flame started, "Did I—"

But the Dragonair drew in sharply, and composed herself. Her gaze wandered to the sky, then to the fog and the endless masses of air weaving together in thin strands.

Flame: “A-Alice you can just say ‘no’, alright?” >///<
Alice: “No it’s not that, Flame, something’s going on.”

"Is this…?" she raised her snout to the current, "No. That's impossible. Time itself wanes inside an anomaly—natural occurrences cannot exist here."

"Maybe … we exited the dungeon?" Flame uttered tentatively.

Alice's eyes kept staring emptily at the white singularity in the clouds. "Impossible; otherwise we would have noticed. No. Something's very wrong here…"

Okay, this entire bit admittedly was kinda hard for me to follow, but I assume that the thing that Alice is finding weird is the presence of wind in this little patch of MD. I went off on a bit of a limb, but assuming that read was right, you’d probably find it worthwhile to clean things up along the lines of the following.

[ "Is that wind…?" she raised her snout to the current, "No. That's impossible. Time doesn’t flow normally an anomaly—we shouldn’t be able to find natural phenomena like wind here."

"Maybe … we exited the dungeon?" Flame uttered tentatively.

Alice's eyes kept staring emptily at the white singularity in the clouds. "Impossible, we’d have noticed otherwise.

[insert body language/pause here]

“No. Something's very wrong here…" ]

Not knowing what to add, he remembered about the two pokémon still waiting for him below the hatch. Virgo turned out to be even heavier than Alice had felt, and he came very close to dropping him—twice. For revenge, he somehow convinced him to bring Yvaine up in his stead.

Such is life when Gabite’s official dex weight is close to 4x that of Dragonair. Though I’d imagine that some little voice at the back of Flame’s head noping out hard over having to put himself in a vulnerable position to Virgo like that surely didn’t help things there.

Flame: “... Why didn’t I suggest to Gaius that I go scout things around while he drug the creepy legionaries up?” >.<
Gaius: “Because it’d likely end with you running back screaming chased by a feral again? Look, how hard is it to help a ‘mon up a ledge?”

"Fascinating," the Umbreon commented as soon as she regained composure, "This … definitely runs counter to every rational norm that has been applied to mystery dungeons. Unless…"

Yvaine raised her chin to the sky, while the rings on her body began to glow. "There is a possibility we've entered an incongruity within [the spell]."

Everyone looked at her.

"A dissonance? How?" Alice narrowed her pupils, "Have you seen something like this?"

A minor suggested tweak, but I think [the spell] should be more explicit as to if that’s Yvaine’s attempt at scrying she’s referring to, or the dungeon’s surroundings as a whole. I’m assuming it’s the latter from some later bits, but it’s admittedly hard to tell.

- Gaius folds his arms with a low pout -
Gaius: “In Newspeak, please.”
Flame: “Er… yeah, I’m admittedly a bit lost from that explanation there myself.” ._.;

"Yes. A discrepancy in the dungeon's fabric, one where time can flow," Yvaine proclaimed as the storm clouds seemed to spiral round the singularity.

"Really? I think this whole 'dark aura' thing's getting to your head," Virgo reined in a laugh, "An anomaly within the anomaly?"

"Exactly," Yvaine said, before shutting her eyes. The golden rings all over her body began glowing in what was starting to become a habit.

Gaius: “So… it’s some sort of stable zone then? Is it actually stable enough for us to stop and sleep here?”
Yvaine: “I… don’t know if I would go that far, this is a Mystery Dungeon, Grovyle.”
Alice: “Gaius, considering how everywhere in this blasted ruin’s so far been at most a minute away from horrible death, you couldn’t pay me to sleep in this thing.” >_>;
Flame: “Yeah, I’m just gonna take a hard pass at keeping my eyes closed anywhere near Virgo and Yvaine, let alone in a Mystery Dungeon.”
- Virgo puts his claws on his hips and shoots an unimpressed frown -
Virgo: “Hrmph, you know, if you acted like any more of a prude about my Playdrakes, I’d think you were putting on an act, Flamey.”

In a little under two seconds, the Umbreon's eyes flickered open [ ]. "H-how? But that makes no sense."

"Yeah. Basically what I've been saying all along," Virgo smirked. [ ]

"No, not that," Yvaine sent her partner a glare, before her eyes wandered up to the hellish sky, "Why is [it] not working? Even outside…"

"I … suppose we can only find the answer ourselves," Alice uttered slowly, scouring the landscape with her eyes [ ], "Hang on—where's Gaius?"

Okay, this section I feel would benefit strongly from adding a bit of expansion here and there. Going one-by-one:

For the first bit, I feel it makes sense to describe Yvaine’s reaction more. For instance, is she visibly startled? More annoyed? It’s one of those things that would sell her state of mind/outward reaction here better that’s currently lacking.

For the second bit, I think it’s probably worth slipping in something like “I didn’t need fancy powers to tell you that.” to play up the “I told you so” angle.

For the third, I would make the “it” that Yvaine refers to more explicit. I’m assuming this is her scrying/aura sensing over the Mystery Dungeon’s surroundings, but in its present state it’s a little muddled as to what she’s referring to.

For the last, I’d suggest letting Alice soak in the surroundings she found weird a bit more, before having a moment of belated realization of “... wait a minute, where’s Gaius?”

Before he could reply that he'd gone away scouting, a voice came out of the fog.

"Right here."

Just then, Gaius strode over to the rest of the expeditionary force, the leaf-crest on his head flowing along with the breeze, setting eye on each one of them before speaking again.

"And before you ask me, I have no goddamn clue where we are."

Flame: “I could’ve told you that faster if you sent me out to scout given that I’m the living torch here!” >.<
Gaius: “Whatever, you’d have saved a couple minutes at most. Who knows, you might have gotten lost on your way back-”
Alice: “Gaius. Support. Your. Teammate!” >_>;

Alice narrowed her eyelids concurrently with the wind blowing in her face. "Thought something might have kidnapped you in the shadows. Did you spot any path out of here?"

[ ]

"You didn't kill any of them, I see. Good, I need everyone alive for this mission," Gaius sneaked a glance at Flame, though not overly condescending, "Follow me and walk slowly. I can barely see what's under our feet."

Something about Gaius’ line I feel doesn’t quite follow Alice’s. Since he both ignores Alice’s question and his line then feels ambiguous as to whether or not it’s addressing Flame or Alice or both there. It might make sense to slip in a bit of description where Gaius doesn’t give an answer, notices everyone’s present, and then focuses on whoever his first line is directed at. Otherwise, I think that this sequence would work mostly as-is with a bit of touchup.

With everyone's agreement, they began moving. Well, almost everyone did.

Flame noticed that that Yvaine hadn't moved from her place, still as a statue. Yet it didn’t occur to his mind that that would be a problem. She was probably just trying to sense the Dungeon one last time and would return to formation within an instant. Before he could step outside the tower, he felt a drowsy sensation in his head, as though something tapped into it all of a sudden.

Stop.

The word resonated throughout his guts. Worse yet, he could tell from the voice that it wasn’t him saying it.

He gave a startled yelp. Gaius and Alice and Virgo just about disappeared into the tangible fog, yet he felt as though his limbs were tied together by an invisible force…

… It was Yvaine.

Some suggested reflows there. Though given that psychically sharing memories is seen as a sign of matehood among some Pokémon in-setting, I wonder what base in ye olde metaphor Yvaine just put Flame on right here. :V

Flame: “W-Why do I suddenly feel violated right now?” >///<
Yvaine: “Don’t worry about it. Now, you’re going to answer a few questions…”

"Uh … what are you doing?" Flame spun his head round to ask, brow furrowed in genuine bewilderment.

Utter silence. The Umbreon just sat there, her eyes drilling a hole into his skull.

Once again, he pretended that this was some kind of sick joke, and fought against the force weighing him down to try and walk off. The force only lashed back harder and with greater pressure. [ ]

Now he bared his teeth. "Hey! What's your damn problem?!"

"You."

Some suggestions there, and I feel that it might make a sense to slip in a sentence to the effect of “Huh?! Why is Yvaine doing this?!” in the bit in brackets.

Flame: “T-That wasn’t a question, and d-did we really need to do this away from the rest of the team-?”
401074476474957834.png

Yvaine: “Yes.

The syllable caught Flame off-guard. "Me…?"

No answer once more. Instead, Yvaine slowly drifted towards him, before finally she stood opposite his eyes.

"You are different from the rest." the Umbreon stated in her flat voice.

"Different? What are you talking about?! Let me go!" he growled, baring his teeth instinctively, "They'll worry about us!"

"May I read your aura? Actually, don't answer, I'm going to do it regardless."

His pleas dissipated before they could reach her ears, and before he knew it Yvaine closed her eyes and lay a paw on his belly.

Mind you, we didn’t exactly see Flame protest before Yvaine made her move. Might make sense to slip in some dialogue or description to mention that he at least started to protest but got cut off.

Virgo: "... Yvaine you're weirding me out right now. Though if there's something wrong with this Charmeleon, how come you didn't check back when we were all at that bar in Aesernia together instead of waiting until we were all in a Mystery Dungeon?"
Yvaine: "Okay, first off, if you go back and look, I clearly thought there was something off about him then. You just scared him off before I could check closer by not shutting your trap about your stupid porn mags!"
Flame: “(She’s weirding you out? I’m the one getting held in place and being poked and prodded here!)” >_>;

Flame found himself unable to do anything but to observe. He paid extra attention to any atypical sensations in his body, but he felt nothing out of the ordinary beyond the discomfort of being psionically restrained. Then, without warning, her body lurched backwards, and her eyes flew open.

"Yes. Now it makes sense…" the legionary muttered half to herself, "That’s what the Gengar noticed."

In that same moment, perhaps out of sheer surprise, the dark energy holding him stiff gradually dissipated, which left precious space for his limbs to move freely.

Finally. What now? Do I run? Flame thought. For some obscure reason, he felt compelled to hold his breath, waiting for the moment where a coherent exchange would kick off. All the while, the nagging image of his team edging farther and farther played in his head

Some suggestions here and there. The last paragraph in particular felt a bit clunky for me to read, even if I think I got what was intended..

- Flame looks over and sees Yvaine all but boring holes into him with her eyes -
Flame: “Uh… yeah, I don’t think I’d get anywhere fast if I did try to run.” ._.;

Not a centimetre of Yvaine's facial fur shifted as her eyes bored into him. "Normally I can see the whole dungeon, feel its spatial fabric shift. Not here. My aura vision is clouded and the whole dungeon and its souls are unreadable to me."

His lip twisted, genuinely clueless as to which course of action to take. Rise up and strike her? Countless aspects of the Umbreon had always instilled a feeling of general apprehension in him, but now it rose to whole new levels.

"You are the interference."

Some more odds and ends here.

Flame: "What... does that mean?"
Gaius: "More importantly, why does it matter? I mean, aside from Flame almost getting himself turned into bug and Carnivine food, we made it fine through our last dungeon together!"
Yvaine: “Are you seriously asking why it matters when it impacts my ability to sense what’s ahead of us in this place?” >_>;
Alice: “I mean, we’ve gotten through dungeons before without it, so…”

Flame's fists curled into paws. "Listen, I don't know what the hell got into your head—"

"Yesterday, when we first met, you refused to answer me. Tell me, where do you come from? What are your intentions?"

The mounting questions only further stirred that strange urge within Flame to just lunge forward and claw her face. At the same time, he felt a parallel pressure build up in the back of his eyes [ ].

"I-I don't know!" Flame suddenly cried out, his voice trembling, "If I at least knew what the hell is going on, maybe everything wouldn't be so fucked! Just … just stop asking!"

His anger dissipated with each passing word, until his tone resembled a lament. The legionary's face never shifted. After cupping his face behind his paws, Flame drew in again and again to calm his shaky nerves.

Some more sundry suggestions here. I think you’d also do well to elaborate on what Flame is feeling with that parallel pressure at the back of his eyes, since it felt like things kinda cut off abruptly.

Flame: “L-Look can you please leave me alone so that way we can get this mission over with and you can go away?
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Yvaine: “Bold of you to think that we won’t run into each other again in this story.”

Yvaine huffed. "So be it."

There was an underlying tone of distrust in her otherwise stonewall voice, though he couldn't quite place a claw on it.

"I'll be keeping my eye on you, Charmeleon."

With that, the Umbreon turned on her heel and stepped away in the direction Gaius had taken. He could do nothing more than uncover his face, and reluctantly follow suit.

Eventually, his friends' voices reached his ears. He wished nothing more than to be in their presence right now, even if Gaius' would surely be mad at him for being separated for a few minutes.

At the very least, his mind now had something else to think about.

A couple tweaks I’d propose for this block here.

Flame: “I’m just going to walk on ahead… and stay far, far away from you.”
701630550720512120.png


Castra Aeterna – Temporal Breach

Something was there.

It was initially a mere hypothesis, then a series of paranoid thoughts in his head, but now the noises in the distance left no room for further doubt. Disgruntled growls, almost a mix of primordial groans and a boulder being ground across the stone.

Yet at the same time, the noises’ frequency began to make Flame worry: how were his companions not noticing this?

Some odds and ends for you. I admittedly went a bit out on a limb for the first and second paragraphs, though I tried to stick to what seemed to be the direction you were going for there.

Flame: “Sure would be nice to know that those noises aren’t some sort of feral waiting to munch us or something like that.”
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Maybe I'm trying too hard to make sense of everything, Flame mused as he crossed a concrete walkway, Nothing makes sense here. But, still…

The whole fortress had turned into a series of towers and ample rooftops, connected by bridges and staircases, walls and bastions. Flame knew for sure that it couldn't have been that gargantuan in reality.

Huh, I admittedly didn’t pick up on MD Distortion exaggerating features that were otherwise originally present, but that’s some neat and trippy imagery there. Probably would suck to fall, though.

As he stuck close to Gaius' back, he peeked down under the walkway. Fog filled [it] up like water in a pool.

"Listen up, all of you," Gaius suddenly spoke up, "Before we press our luck any further, I want you to prepare for contact. I'd start right about now."

"W-wait, you expect the Scum to be here?" Flame asked, rubbing his forearm nervously.

Gaius shrugged, yet didn't spare him a look. "Hell if I know. I just can't shake this feeling…"

Some stylistic odds and ends for you, though I think the “it” in brackets should be replaced with something like [the space underneath it] to make it obvious that he’s seeing fog in the void below him.

Gaius: "Also, it was pretty damn obvious they were here back at that ambush with the Ghost-Types and we've run out of numbered floors. So yeah, do the math."

"It would make sense. If there’s any place in this anomaly that’s suitable for life, we're inside it,” Alice chimed in. “Think about it: the regular flow of time indicates the spatial fabric here is also relatively stable. There shouldn’t be any risk of being swallowed by the anomaly."

"Whatever. Still not a place I'd call 'cozy'," Virgo huffed. [ ]

"That's essentially who they are," Gaius said, "Bastards, living in the mud and fog. I can't wait to slice their throats and hang them from a pole in Victory Square."

Ah yes, implied crucifixion. Lovely fate to wish on someone else there. Can’t tell if whether Gaius wishing a posthumous variant on the Scum is more an artifact of the story needing to not obviously trip over rating guidelines on FFN or if he’s seen the less filtered versions at some point in the past and just found it too much to stomach watching even when applied to ‘mons otherwise hates with the fury of a thousand suns.

There’s some odds and ends proposed fixes there, though there’s a bit of a structural issue in that Gaius’ line doesn’t follow Alice and Virgo’s. The two go from talking about this stable patch within their present MD and then Gaius abruptly takes the topic of conversation to the Scum. I think this is resolvable relatively easily by adding to Virgo’s dialogue where he says something to the effect of [“I’m surprised that the Scum would choose to hole up here over someplace on the surface, I’m not sure if anyone other than a feral would find this comfortable.”] since it tees up Gaius’ next line of comparison.

Flame: "Er... aren't you being just a little bloodthirsty there, Gaius?" ._.
Gaius: "Considering what we just saw they did to Nova Sperantia and how have hundreds of years' worth of horror stories recorded about them... no. Not in the slightest."
Flame: "Yeah, but isn't hanging dead bodies in public a bit much?"
Gaius: “You know that they also use those poles to display live bodies, right? If anything, my proposal’s the merciful one.”
- Flame blanches -
Flame: “I’m… just gonna take your word for it since I can already tell I really, really don’t want to know details about what ‘displaying live bodies’ with those poles entails.”
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Alice: "Er… yeah, you should count yourself lucky your amnesia helped you forget about that. Though even if it’s... unpleasant, shows of deterrence like that have always been important to reassure the proles about Urbe's strength. I mean, that's why enemy leaders who get captured get brought along for triumphal parades."
Virgo: "And why a good chunk of their people wind up getting shipped off to Our Benefactors or sold at market to do things like keep your boss' baths running-"
Alice: "Virgo!"
Virgo: "What? You know it happens and there's no point in mincing around it, princess.”
Yvaine: “Even if Virgo ought to have shown more tact, it does have some practical benefits and it sends a message to the homefront to raise morale.”
Virgo: “And it fires a shot across the bow at anyone who'd want to mess with us. Simple as."
Flame: "Yeesh. Talk about a rough neighborhood." ._.

"If they truly call this place home," Yvaine argued, "How can they enter and exit it at will? And how can one reliably end up in the same place?"

"Heh, now you're crossing into uncharted territory," Alice smirked.

Flame: “So then if they don’t use this Mystery Dungeon as home, what do they use it as? Some sort of base?”
- Gaius side-eyes -
Gaius: “Why on earth would they bother with that when these places are death traps. The only way it’d make any sense is if they were able to use it as a shortcut of some sort.”
- Beat moment -
Gaius: “... Uh… they can’t do that, right?”
401076862924750848.png

Yvaine: “Hard to say, since we’re finding out things can happen that shouldn’t be possible just from this expedition.”

Just then, the staircase ended earlier than all previous ones, and their eyes revealed a most peculiar sight: an inner courtyard of sorts, undoubtedly built into the fortified walls. The relative depression to the rest of the rooftop, which meant ever so thinner fog, allowed Flame to see more or less clearly. Walking closer, he noticed a series of decorated wooden doors, each distanced equally from one another and flanked by a paned window.

These must all lead into different rooms, Flame deduced, Who knows whether they're all connected, or if they're … currently occupied.

Flame: “Er… there’s nobody watching us from those windows, right? We’re not gonna get abruptly sniped, are we?”
Virgo: “Lighten up, Flamey. If there was anyone to do that, we’d be dead by now.”
Flame: “(Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much better.)” >.<

Above each and every window, a fresco ran symmetrical with it. They each depicted a different creature, often crude in detailing, represented in simple poses. One of them in particular, a blue bipedal figure, towered above all others.

Then, Alice's voice shifted his attention elsewhere. "Oh, Flame, check this out!"

He turned round and walked closer to her, morbidly curious. It didn't take long to notice why she'd called him—an octagonal fountain jutted out of the ground in the centre of the inner courtyard. Rising roughly to his hips, the now static water was overshadowed by a statue depicting a bipedal creature. Its traits looked canine, though it sported iron spikes on its chest and wrists. The statue's colouration looked markedly black, corroded.

Stamped on the statue's podium lay a silver plaque, with the words elegantly picked out:

MARCUS HONORIUS CAESAR

CONSUL ET PONTIFEX MAXIMUS URBIS

One of these days, we need to get more deets about this guy and how he managed to speedrun Julius Caesar and Augustus’ accomplishments given that it wasn’t until the latter that the head of state in Rome filled the office of Pontifex Maximus in reality. Oh, and to get an idea of what sort of deal with the devil he made with the Presence to get that power.

"Didn't think I'd ever see water naturally inside a dungeon," Alice smiled, eyes glazing over the surface, "Think it's safe to drink?"

Flame couldn't help but adopt her same smile. "No clue. I'd rather not find out, though."

Alice chuckled lightly. "That's probably for the best." Her eyes shifted to the statue. "It's amazing that this fountain weathered the anomaly enough to still exist physically. Quite something, isn't it?"

Flame scanned the statue from head to toe. "Definitely. Sorry for … y-you know, the ignorance, but who is this?"

Alice:
401085511176814613.png

Flame: “... I-I have amnesia and I didn’t get a chance to catch up on local history yet?”
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Alice: “More like you had multiple chances, but kept blowing them off.” >_>;

"General Honorius, last republican consul," Alice explained with a pinch of pride in her voice, "He's the one who colonised these lands, including Aesernia. If memory serves me right, he's one of the only leaders of non-dragon descent."

Not that the fic has explicitly dealt with it yet, but you’ve actually commented elsewhere that that explanation from Alice isn’t fully correct, especially outside the Imperial Era. It probably makes sense to tighten things up a bit there before it comes time to make that reveal in your story.

Also, I still am rooting to see you fill out the list of Emperors in-setting one of these days, since you have an ‘Augustus’ somewhere there given that we find out about 20 chapters down the line that at least 80% of ‘Sis felicior Augusto, melior Traiano’ also applies in this setting. Also, still gotta get in my bets in there having been a Kommo-odus at some point.
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Out of nowhere, Gaius pushed Flame aside, observing the statue himself. "If we somehow carry this home, we're poised to make a lot of money. I'm thinking Ariel might want this for her villa." he added with a wry grin.

Alice grinned widely. "And sell it? It would be a real shame—especially since we cannot possibly carry this thing out. I suppose this is its rightful place."

Gaius groaned, rolling his eyes. "With that mentality, I see why we're basically broke."

Yvaine: “Need I remind you two that we’re here to break up a Scum encampment?” >_>;
Virgo: “Aw lighten up, Yvaine. Let the civvies daydream a bit!”

"Oh, well. Hopefully we can find something else to bring back," Flame proposed with a wavering smile.

"Exactly," Alice nodded, "I'll go see what else there is here. Maybe these doors will lead us somewhere."

Alice: “Actually… you said you found a letter talking about Consul Honorius earlier, right? Do you still have that, Flame? We could probably sell it off to an archaeologist or the like.”
Flame: “Er… the Gengar wrecked it? (God, I should’ve really held onto that thing.)”
701630550720512120.png


With that, Alice slithered off in another direction, away from him. From the corner of his eye, he could see that Gaius had wandered off as well to inspect some wooden contraption, probably a catapult.

You want “corner” of his eye there.

Though actually, wait a minute, considering how Flame only has fuzzy memories of things he’s seen before in the past… is this correct? Or would he be describing more the features of the catapult? Since him being able to identify the catapult like this implies that he had been around Urbe enough before getting mindwiped to still subconsciously recognize and identify their military hardware.

Something did not grant him distraction however—it was the gaping hole in his stomach, the tremor that pervaded his arms at each disgruntled noise arising in the distance. He almost didn’t notice that all the sounds around him had been drowned out by his thumping heartbeat.

Squeezing his eyelids closed, he grabbed a hold of the fountain's edge and leant forward. For what felt like minutes he breathed in, and out. In, and out.

It was only when he opened his eyes again, and stared at the sterile body of water that he realized what was wrong.

He was scared.

A couple tweaks for your consideration in this block.

Flame: “W-Why do I have this feeling that we’re about to be in for a really bad time?”
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[Yet it made no sense, his brain went on.]

There was no logical reason to be scared. He somewhat understood how dungeons functioned, how to avoid getting lost, how to fight Ferals and Scum if needed. And he remembered Alice's vow that he would not be alone, backed up by four battle-ready teammates right next to him, who would never let him get hurt—so why, he thought, why did he suddenly feel like ice shards were sticking in his throat?

Why am I acting like this? Flame scowled to himself, I can fight, I can defend myself. Nothing's going to happen to me.

youre_serious_futurama.gif


Some recommendations for you. A few of them are a bit more stylistic in nature such as the “Ferals and Scum” bit since as of this moment in the story, he’s only had a hostile encounter with Scum once, and he didn’t realize it until after the fact.

For the bit in brackets, I think it makes more sense framed as a direct thought like [This doesn’t make any sense, he thought to himself.]

Perhaps this was just the result of his own immaturity. He should have been above fits of anxiety like this by now, but apparently that wasn’t yet the case.

"Geez, if you’re feeling sick, don't just vomit in the fountain,” Gaius commented from behind him. “Look for a corner or something."

Flame was thankful his leader couldn't spot his face heating up. "D-don't worry, don't worry, I'm not."

Some more sundry nitpicks for you.

Flame: “Oh my god, is that seriously the first thing you’re worried about, Gaius?” >.<
Gaius: “I can see you gasping for breath like that and looking down like that. If you’re not feeling sick, don’t go out of your way to act like it!”

Slowly but surely, his heartbeat returned to normal, yet he could not shake off the heaviness in his chest. With a dejected sigh, he turned his attention to the water once again, hoping to put his mind at ease during this brief pause.

Even in spite of the normalised time flow in this section of the mystery dungeon, the water remained perfectly still, only wavering when he poked it with a digit. He looked down at his reflection. The figure that stared back would have looked more proper in a mortuary: the numerous ribs poking out of his chest, plus his close to skeletal arms, gave the appearance of a brittle physique. Brittle enough that one punch from the likes of Ariel would probably easily crush his every vertebrae. Further down, there was a noticeable patch of swollen and yellowish scar tissue marking the spot where the Carnivine's teeth had sunk into his leg just two days ago.

A frown fell over his face as he ran over his body with a paw. This was admittedly the first time he'd gathered up the courage to take a good look at himself. [ ]

I look like I've just come out of captivity. Then again, all three of us do…

I mean, you kinda did just come out of captivity, Flame. Twice even, not that you’re aware of the second one just yet.

As a heads up, but I’ve noticed that in this chapter and some of the ones right before this, there was a lot of paren commentary going on. I’m not fully sure what the intent was with that format, but most of them I think would work better either being worked more cleanly into the rest of the narration, or framed as Flame’s thought process since you already do that elsewhere.

Flame: "Ariel… seriously expects us to flush out an encampment in this state?" ._.
Virgo: “Obviously not, otherwise she wouldn’t have sent for us to be your escorts. I still say she was trying to get rid of you three.”
Gaius: "... Look, we can manage, alright? Ariel may hate our guts, but she doesn’t hate us enough to kill a pair of random legionnaires to get rid of us."
- Yvaine bristles for a moment -
Yvaine: “Hrmph, I should hope not. There’d be consequences for her if that was really what she was up to.”
Flame: “... Please never say ‘consequences’ like that ever again.”
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Yvaine:
bdd.jpg


Then, something happened. The surface water trembled.

It had only lasted less than one second, and the movement itself was minor—almost imperceptible. He nearly dismissed it as an insignificant detail, until it happened again. And again. Every two seconds or so, just as the water’s surface stabilised, it would wobble once more. Bemused, he extended a paw up high—the depression they found themselves in shielded the courtyard from any air currents.

Was it just him being paranoid? He was quite willing to accept that as an explanation, yet his body now picked up a new sensation. A small, close to inexistent vibration came from the stone beneath his feet. Then more came. Worse than that, he observed how they came in perfect sync with the water's flickers.

123556.gif

Flame: “Uhh… guys?”
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Gaius broke off his discussion with Alice to turn to him. "What is it now, Flame?"

"Come here a second—you need to see this!" he said with a trembling breath, [unsure whether he found Gaius' reaction scarier than the possible danger].

"Why? Can't you just … ugh, fine," Gaius growled, walking over to him, "I swear, if you're wasting my time again…"

In my opinion, you should describe Gaius’ reaction a bit, since you tell the audience that Flame finds it frightening, but we don’t really get a solid sense of what about it scares him. Even something as simple as saying something along the lines of “Gaius shot him a look that could kill” would go a long way to better showing what that reaction was like.

In that very moment—almost as if to offer them a further hint—something akin to a deep groan could be heard somewhere in the vicinity, no longer washed out by distance.

"I-I think something's coming," Flame blurted out with some difficulty.

As soon as the echoes of the roar wore off, Gaius' face bore a petrified look, staring into nothingness as the rhythmic tremors continued. The gecko had definitely heard his words now.

"What the…?" the Grovyle took a step back, his pupils dilating gradually.

Within seconds, everyone's gaze dashed to a small stairway carved out of the fortified walls and leading upward. Any and all breaths were stifled by the mashing of footsteps on the floor, its direction now clearly identified.

I think that there’s a discrepancy between the Rhyperior’s roar and how it’s described in the first and third paragraphs. Since it comes off as significantly louder in the third paragraph than it does in the first. You should probably do one of shifting the description in the first paragraph to be louder or the third to be softer.

All:
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Alice: “(I just want to remind you that we could’ve started running away for Capri four chapters ago!)” >_>;

Flame swept each companion of his for clues, silently praying that all this could be traced back to simple weariness. Yet no doubt remained in their wide, frightened eyes: a creature was not only present in their immediate vicinity, it was marching.

Right to their position.

"Oh, Arceus. He's right," Alice mouthed, frozen in place.

A few seconds of chill passed as the gravity of the situation sank in. By now, Flame could not hear much of anything beyond his own thumping heart, interrupted every so often by a stifled breath. The speed at which it beat surely wasn’t healthy for him. Could it even throb that fast? Meanwhile, his legs seemed to take steps of their own accord, backing off until he was almost at the wall.

"Damn it. Damn it, " Flame mumbled rapidly, "What do we do? Gaius?"

"Stop crying for a fucking second," Gaius hissed back, his own voice visibly shaky. He could see a change in the [warrior's] demeanour: he was afraid. That certainly did wonders to help his confidence.

Some changes that I’d recommend. The ‘warrior’s’ bit I’m a bit unsure on, since on one level, Gaius technically isn’t a warrior in-setting. On the other hand, I admittedly couldn’t think of a reflexive replacement and it is Flame’s thought process animating the narration here, so maybe I’m overthinking it.

Flame: "As in it didn't help. At all."
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Gaius: "I'm sorry, I'm not the one going full 'W-What do we do?' here when our enemies haven't even shown up yet!" >_>;

A quick glance to the side told him that the two legionaries stood tense, yet didn't come off as overtly nervous. In fact, he could almost make out a grin on Virgo's face [(not that it was a rare sight at all)].

For the bit about Virgo grinning, given that it’s been firmly established he’s been grinning a lot in this chapter, you might find it more impactful to say something like [(was he really still doing that even now?)]. Ironically, this is one of those moments where I think the paren text can work fairly naturally in its current positioning, though it could just as easily work as a line of narration or direct thought.

Virgo: "Just saying, we legionaries live for moments like these!"
Yvaine: "Hrmph, don't get cocky here, Virgo. We don’t know what we’ve just gotten into."

The two seconds he drew his eyes away proved the perfect occasion for a hail of stones and dust to erupt from the top of the staircase and bounce to its bottom, the bigger pieces shattering on impact. [A mighty crash mixed with the gradual ceding of the stone erupted], as a massive shadow, bigger than the actual tunnel allowed, forced its way through. [ ]


"Bloody hell! Everyone, get to cover!" the Grovyle hushered.

Flame did not even have time to register his teammates scattering, let alone think of a hiding spot for himself, before he felt Gaius' claws grip his shoulders and hurl him forward.

The next thing he heard was a splash of water, accompanied by the feeling of the liquid spreading all over his scales as his belly crashed onto a solid surface and knocked the wind out of him. When his head surfaced to gasp for air and his eyes opened, he found his snout practically kissing the silver plaque from earlier, the tarnished statue now overhead, and the water going up to his neck. He was inside the fountain.

Some reworks for your consideration, along with two bits in brackets to think through:

For the first bracket, I didn’t fully get what “the gradual ceding of the stone” was supposed to be, so that probably should be phrased in simpler words. Also, you should probably pair “erupted” directly with “crash” for an overall dynamic kinda like follows: [A mighty crash erupted, mixed with the gradual ceding of the stone] since “erupted” sounds fairly violent while “gradual ceding” does not.

For the second bracket, I feel that it makes sense to add more description of at least Gaius’ reaction, since his dialogue looks very panicked right afterwards, but there’s not really that “oh crap” body language that comes through to sell the sense that something has gone seriously sideways.

As more crashes shook the air and stones splashed into the water, a paw took a hold of his neck. It twisted his head to the right. There was Gaius laying against the bottom of the fountain, a claw before his snout, body squeezing against his in an effort to disappear behind the base of the statue. With those eyes boring into him at such a close distance, Flame would’ve gladly shrunk back under the water. Instead, he turned away sharply, and swallowed, before nodding back.

"Don't. Move." the Grovyle hissed into his ears, advice which Flame was already following.

Some more recommendations to tighten up the prose a bit.

Flame: “Gaius, did we really have to hide here of all places?” >_>;
Gaius: “Look can you just shut up for a moment before that thing finds us?” >.<

Neither of them dared twitch a muscle for what felt like eternity. Honorius himself weathered most of the bits of stone flying about, while the noise of rock grinding forcefully against the floor screeched on.

Then, everything stopped.

Flame's ears could only pick up on a few last chunks of concrete thump against the floor, followed by complete silence. Nothing.

Minutes passed inexorably, yet no further sound nor smell cameaside from those customary to mystery dungeons.

Some more nitpicks here and there, given how tense this entire sequence is from Flame’s perspective, I’m surprised he could firmly time things into the realm of minutes. Ironically enough, I actually don’t have a big issue with the timing since having to lie in wait for an unseen danger to pass can sometimes take a while, it’s more how cognizant Flame would logically be about it when for all he knows, horrible death is waiting for him just outside that fountain.

He couldn't take it anymore. Unwilling to remain in this drenched and quivering state any longer with his tail flame hovering so close to the water, Flame stirred his muscles ever so gently. The Charmeleon shifted, beginning a rolling motion of sorts, towards his left. Even then, droplets ticked as they rhythmically returned to the pool—he hoped whatever had arrived did not possess such sharp hearing.

The moment his eyes inched beyond the statue's pedestal, Flame let out a muffled cry of terror. The tunnel housing the small stairway, once just only barely large enough to accommodate his body, now had its surface ripped apart, lying on the ground as debris.

In front of it, what he had nearly mistaken for a large boulder revealed itself to actually be the heinous beast forcing through the entrance.

Some more small tweaks here and there for your consideration.

Flame: “(Ulp. Of course the ‘mon we run into has the typing and strength to just goosh me like a bug.)” O.O;

In the back of his mind, Flame thought the fiend somehow knew it was being watched, for it suddenly stood up on its stubby legs. A mountain of dust and small pebbles cascaded off its body, allowing for better observation.

Although looking closer to a boulder sculpted in the shape of a living being than an actual one, it possessed a large horn, one he imagined was especially adept at spearing into flesh. A deep, grumbling noise arose from its throat, and the creature stirred. The bright plates of orange enwrapping its stomach rendered the beast particularly visible even amongst the fog, perhaps the only positive side he could find in the whole situation. Its club-like tail commenced swinging back and forth, and sweeping the debris.

Immediately, Flame drew his head safely behind cover, and rested his chin just on the waterline. He could hear the beast rumble once again, the ground and water around him vibrating again. The ruckus seemed to offer his leader a chance to make a little noise, as Gaius suddenly clasped his neck and forced Flame to make eye contact.

"What is it?" Gaius whispered at a nearly imperceptible volume, "The fuck is it?"

Little odds and ends for you to take if you feel it improves things.

Flame: “(Ow! You could’ve just given a poke you know!)” >.<
- Gaius tightens his leaves into a blade -
Gaius: “(Careful what you wish for there, now answer the question already!)” >:|
Flame: “(I-It’s some sort of rock alright? And a rhino. A rock rhino!)”
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Flame simply kept exhaling shakily without uttering a word. He hadn't a clue what to say in reply. Before his thoughts could settle, the grinding noise resumed—any moment now, the beast would turn a corner and find two maggots flailing in the water, he thought.

He heard the Grovyle next to him growl briefly, and began pushing Flame's body against the fountain's floor—even climbing onto him. He vainly put up resistance as the Grovyle attempted to take a look for himself, until they both heard a noise.

It had commenced moving again.

Within ten seconds (faster than he would have thought possible) the rocky beast had neared the fountain and now appeared over its edge. It wasn't looking—yet it was also moving vaguely in their direction. Flame refused to stare at the thing directly, and squeezed his eyes shut as his muzzle stood below the water's level, instead breathing via his nostrils.

Some more tweaks that I think would help tighten things up a bit.

Flame: “(Gaius are you seriously using me as a perch right now?!)” >_<
Gaius: “(Are you seriously not shutting up when that Rhyperior is right there?! You’re lucky that ferals are dumb as bricks!)”

Nowhere in the midst of all that did he notice Gaius' foot press down near the tip of his tail. Within an instant, [he was slammed with sensations of pure pain]. Every nerve in his body seemed to recoil from some combination of freezing over or flaring in pain. His brain very nearly reached overload and lost control of all bodily commands.

A green claw cupped against his mouth, as he felt the Grovyle's body constrict his own via sheer weight and pressure. Flame could just about hold onto the sliver of rationale preventing him from setting a scream free. He supposed the paw keeping a hold of his snout helped too, in a way.

[Minutes passed], and with each wild jerk of his muscles, aimed at clearing his tail flame away from perpetual suffocation, the next would manifest with less impetus, until they largely subsided under Gaius' body mass. Though he could not see, his head felt as though twisting round and round like a lightweight whirlwind.

Somehow, his brain retained enough functionality to recognise the odours entering his nostrils: there was a smell of dust, earth and dung—nauseating, complained his stomach, but it did provide some small distraction away from the cold, boiling agony.

Some tweaks here and there for your consideration. I actually completely forgot that in this sequence Gaius almost smothers Flame to death while trying to hide from the Rhyperior. It’s written such that it’s actually genuinely hard to tell how cognizant Gaius was of how poorly Flame was doing during this bit, but it’s not all that hard to imagine him going full “screw it, we’re in a bad spot, tough it out”.

As for the bracketed bits, for [he was slammed with sensations of pure pain], I’d suggest something like [he felt his entire body flare up in agony] since something about the present phrasing feels a bit dry.

For [Minutes passed], it actually can work, but it’s very heavily dependent on how long a Charmeleon in your setting can handle getting his tail flame held underwater before keeling over. Since while you’ve depicted it as not immediately lethal in your setting, it’s still depicted as a very bad place for a Char to be in. If “minutes” is pushing it, either reduce the time or make it obvious that the time that passed is from Flame’s perspective and relative/hazy.

Gaius: "Hey, any port in a storm."
- Cue Flame flailing and screaming muffled bloody murder under his claws -
Gaius: "Egh... you're so not making it any easier to not just kick you out and let you try your wall trick again."

Nothing would have convinced Flame to let go of his tail in that moment, not with the feelings of slowly freezing more or less dissipating. When he opened his eyes, another crash shook the air, and jolted him back to attention. Was the Rhyperior bumping into walls? Whichever the case, that prompted him to drop back prone into the water (though not before ensuring his ethereal fire stood well behind the podium).

I-I'm okay. Everything's normal again, Flame reflected, mentally playing back the moment his appendage was suffocated, Bloody hell, I felt I was going to die here. Why would he—I almost died. I could have died…

Flame: “(Okay seriously, Gaius. What the hell?)” >:(
Gaius: “(Look, you’re still alive right now, alright? And would both of us dying really have been an improvement there?)”

Unfortunately, no answer came to him. Besides, he couldn't allocate that much time to that issue. Not right now. Not when a much more urgent threat was stomping about the courtyard right now.

Right, now focus. Flame commanded himself, pressing his nuzzle against the podium, It doesn't look like this … thing will stop moving any time soon. Sure, I think we could technically hop out and rush up the stairs if we're quick, but…

Gaius: “(I mean, you could always go out and let it chase you around into a wall going around screaming like a beheaded Torchic again.)”
Flame: “(Oh sod off Gaius, the text already made it more than obvious that sort of thing wouldn’t work here even if I wanted to do that!)” >_>;

He sighed, and a frustrated kind of frown ensued. What about the others? Where's Alice? Maybe they've gone back the way we came. Have they run back? He bit his lip. Damn it…

Feeling lost, Flame chose to spin his head to the side to investigate whether his team leader had better ideas. Strangely, he did not find the Grovyle semi-submerged just like him. Gaius was elevating himself to keep his head just above the edge, and making strange gestures with his hand.

Curiosity grew too strong to ignore. Peeking his head meant taking a gargantuan risk, yet playing dead indefinitely would achieve nothing. Keeping an ear keen trained on the Rhyperior's movements, he got on his knees, and craned his head forward in the same direction Gaius seemed to focus on.

At first, he didn't understand: there was only more fog, and the faint outline of some derelict catapult of sorts rotting in a corner. Then, his eyes caught a glimpse of a blue spot, peeking from a gap in between two wooden axles.

Alice? Is that her? he felt his body tense up at once. But no, the figure communicated back with its own gestures. The presence clearly had limbs, so that suggested it was Virgo instead.

His eyes swam all around the wooden war machine, trying to make out any other companion of his hiding behind its bulk. The fog hindered his ability to discern the identity of one figure from the next, however, so he could only hope for the best.

Some bits that might merit changing around for your consideration.

Flame: “(Gaius, are you two seriously making handpuppets at a time like this?)” >_>;
Gaius: “(Are you really this dense, Flame?)” >.<

Oh! The vibrations felt stronger once again. He let out a bubble of air from his submerged muzzle in place of what should have been a yelp, then lined up his body against the statue's podium.

Much to his irritation, Gaius either hadn't noticed or did not care, for he continued to peek his head out into danger and give his convoluted hand signals.

Flame yanked at his ankle, gritting his teeth and letting some water in his muzzle.

"Don't you touch me," the Grovyle turned round and hissed.

Flame rose his jaws from under the water, spewing the liquid already inside. "Are you mental? Get down!" he mouthed.

The fiery glare he received shut him up for good. When the Grovyle turned round again, Flame felt a cocktail of emotions boiling within his psyche—those eyes paralysed him into compliance, yet each time the animosity grew ever silently.

A couple stray odds and ends for you, though Gaius really would’ve saved himself if he just gave a terse explanation of what he was up to given that he found it in him to turn around in a water-filled fountain and audibly hiss. :V

Flame: “(O-Okay, never mind, you can keep up with the handpuppets for a while!)”
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Bah, what are those two even saying? Flame looked up at his leader, And you'd think sign language would be simpler…

Upon further observation, he found out that part of those gestures did in fact make sense. For one, the Grovyle pointed a claw at the stairway the feral had broken in from, then a few seconds later tapped the—by now submerged—bag round his shoulder.

"… Gaius?" Flame surfaced his head, and stared right at the Grovyle.

Gaius only sent him an acknowledging glance. "Get ready to make a run for it."

"W-what are you—"

A grotesque gurgle reached his ears. He didn't want to look. He wouldn't look.

Flame turned his head round. There was the Rhyperior, standing no more than a handful of metres away, with its crazed pupils meeting his. For a moment, he dared not stir a claw. Whatever rational portion of his mind remained barked at him to leg it, only he found his synapses unresponsive.

Ah yes, perfect time for that to happen. And some changes to look over and see if you feel they tighten things up a bit.

Flame: "Ahahaha... crap."
Gaius: "I said to get ready to make a run for it! So get to it!"

Not a second later, the beast raised its head in a primal howl, and dashed forward at a speed which seemed unnatural for such a cumbersome thing.

"Legionary! Quick!" Gaius shouted, before leaping out of the fountain and breaking into a mad dash.

Just as Flame got up on his feet, he spotted Virgo's form bolting out of cover. He saw [something] being hurled from the Gabite's paw—

A veil of ethereal light covered his vision. He felt his body lifted up and cast away by a massive shock wave. He hit the ground some distance away, water still dripping from his features, and sharp ringing clouding his eardrums.

Wait, so did Virgo chuck a Blast Seed at the Rhyperior there or did he throw another item? It was admittedly a bit hard to tell since “ethereal light” for a second made me think he threw a Luminous Orb before the mention of a “shock wave”. It might make sense to be a bit more specific about the ‘something’ there, even if it’s only a subtle hint.

Somehow—almost mechanically—he pushed himself back up with his arms, and slit his eyes to regain some kind of bearings. Though the whole world wobbled to and fro akin to a boat, he still managed to recognise the shape of a stairway.

So Flame did the only thing he could do, and ran in its direction for dear life.

The perpetual ringing trapped in his skull muffled any and all outside noises—perhaps for the better—as he wobbly put one foot in front of the other. A thousand little pains and aches popped up all over his system, ones that had to be dismissed no matter what. He made an attempt to spot where his teammates had scattered to, but a mere twist of his head brought him to the verge of motion sickness, and that would do his running no good.

A couple nitpicks, though some of it was simplifying vocabulary choices.

Flame: “Nope nope nope nope.”

Flame saw the pile of rubble heaped up from the previous devastation, some chunks of stone taller than him. After vaulting over the obstacles with some difficulty, he came across the staircase, which proved [almost as challenging] since entire chunks of marble had been chipped off from the Rhyperior's passage. The mental picture of his pursuer stomping after him at lighting speed primed his legs to somehow find the energy to carry themselves forward.

It didn't exactly help when Virgo bumped into his body from behind, and essentially pushed him aside to pass him up the steps. Flame felt [his equilibrium teeter on the verge of collapse]. Precious instants passed by while he held on to a piece of rubble for his dear life, before the last few steps disappeared behind him.

He stopped for a moment, clueless of where to flee now. The new courtyard looked roughly identical in shape and size to the one below. Immobilised in a sort of dazed shock, he snapped out of it once he heard Gaius' voice calling him out from atop a ledge—[the fortified wall presented a breach in that point, doubtless the rock beast's destructive hand]—if only he climbed up to his friends!

Okay, lots of changes here. I’ll let you get through the bolded stuff as you please and focus on the bracketed bits.

For [almost as challenging], it’s missing a comparison to something. Basically [almost as challenging as [X]], but we don’t know what [X] is yet. I would recommend either completing the comparison or rephrasing that bit to not be built around a comparison.

For [his equilibrium teeter on the verge of collapse] I think you were trying to say that Flame almost felt his legs give out or that he almost felt himself collapse, but it was admittedly hard to decipher. Try rephrasing this bit in some more vernacular speech, it’d probably make it a bit easier to grasp what’s going on.

For [the fortified wall presented a breach in that point, doubtless the rock beast's destructive hand] I similarly had trouble deciphering what was going on. I think the idea was that this is basically supposed to say [there was a breach in the fortified wall where Gaius was, no doubt the rock beast’s destructive handiwork], but even if it’s not, it’s not really clear to follow in the present phrasing.

Within seconds he was already at the breach, paw clutching onto loose bricks to make his way up. His tail swung frantically as he ascended with more impetus than was probably safe, cursing his species and his body in numerous ways. He had just reached the half-way mark, [when words he wished he couldn't hear came from where he wished they didn't. Alice. From below.]

"Nononono, wait, Flame!" she [spewed out breathlessly], "Flame! I—I can't get up there!"

Flame stopped climbing, dread now weighing inside his chest. She was still down there, with the feral closing in. The sound of her panicked words turned his very bones into ice. Never had he imagined it remotely possible that circumstances could crack such a rational and restrained being like her!

Once he looked down and made eye contact, his body refused to ascend any further. He had to help her. Whether or not the additional weight brought by her body let him climb back up was irrelevant.

Okay some recommended changes there, but the most important ones to consider are the ones in brackets.

For [when words he wished he couldn't hear came from where he wished they didn't. Alice. From below.], something about it is seriously tripping me up. It might sound snappier as something along the lines of [when he heard words he never wished to hear from the last place he wanted. Alice’s. Coming from the bottom of the wall below.] but dunno if that’s the intent of that segment.

I think [spewed out breathlessly] can just be a simple “pleaded”, but unsure if that if is undercutting your desired nuance for that bit.

Though I see that Flame’s putting the power of totally platonic friendship in action there.
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Descending a few bricks, he wrapped an arm around her neck, and tried to awkwardly hook onto her middle body with his leg. Vibrations hounded his tail flame, prompting Flame to blindly clamber up as fast as his limbs allowed like scaling a ladder. If he could scale this wall so easily, couldn't the Rhyperior climb it too? Regardless, Gaius held out a paw, he felt the blood squeezed out of his elbow [until his arse fell onto the concrete].

Flame gasped whilst Alice rapidly uncoiled from around him—neither wasted any time in casting a fretful glance down at the courtyard. Just as soon as they did, Virgo extracted a tiny object from his bag, no larger than his single claw.

Some odds and ends for here as well. I’m a little unsure about the [until his arse fell onto the concrete] bit of narration, since it’s at once missing the acknowledgement of Flame and Alice getting drug up the ledge and doesn’t feel like it’s framed from Flame’s perspective enough to justify the earthy framing. If you keep it from the narration’s perspective, I think something more neutral like [until the Grovyle yanked him over the top and he pratfell onto the concrete], or else if you want to preserve the general phrasing, more explicitly render that bit from Flame’s perspective.

Flame: “Ow! Would it kill you to be more gentle, Gaius?”
Gaius: “Are you seriously whining about not getting a graceful landing when you were about to get gored by a Rhyperior?” >_>;
Alice: “Yeah, I think I’m with Gaius on this one, Flame.” >.<

"Suck on this, you twat!" Virgo yelled as he drew back his arm, before he forcefully chucked the seed up in an arc. This time, Flame squeezed his eyes shut out of pure instinct. A bright light flashed through his eyelids for a second. At the same time, the blast blew past his scales like one concentrated gust of wind, returning some of the earlier ringing to his ears, though this time it faded away much quicker.

The sound he heard afterwards pained even Flame's heart: a [ ] cry that conveyed agony in its every note. Then it stopped. Then he heard rock shattering on the ground. Then finally, silence.

When he reopened his eyes, chunks of the creature's orange armour were scattered about, while a viscous substance oozed from its wounds.

Some more sundry suggestions, though I feel that you should add a bit more description to the nature and type of cry the Rhyperior let out as it was dying since there admittedly wasn’t a whole lot in the present text.

Gaius: “I’m sorry, why are you feeling sorry about the feral that just almost turned Alice into bloody paste?” >_>;
Flame: “Look, it was just hard to hear that, okay?” ._.

"Whoo-hoo! Fuck yeah! Did you see that?" Virgo jeered, awkwardly hopping in place. [His cheers echoed back from quite afar.]

"Yes, and we have nearly consumed our blast seeds in the process," Yvaine quipped, holding her chin up high and tail straightened. Meanwhile, everyone else dusted themselves off.

Virgo shrugged with a dumb grin. "Ah, who cares? It was worth hearing that cocksucker scream!"

For this part, I think you could stand to describe things a bit more in the bit in brackets where you talk about Virgo’s cheers echoing from far off. An easy gimmie would be to talk a bit about Yvaine’s reaction/body language since she didn’t come off as particularly impressed from her dialogue.

Yvaine: "Again, there's still a Scum encampment we haven't reached yet, Virgo!”
Virgo: "Aw come on, Yvaine. It's not as if they could have any 'mons that are worse than that."
Gaius: "Aaaaand you jinxed us." >_>;

Flame was temporarily content with sitting there as he refilled his lungs. Any more chases like that, and it would not end well for him. Then, he turned his head to Alice, the fact that he hadn't [asked] nagging his thoughts.

"Hey, are you okay?" Flame said softly.

Alice recomposed herself, trying in vain to get the dust off her ear-wings. "… Cursed be whoever designed this fortress. And their children too. I thought I was going to be stuck down there with that … rock."

She then raised her snout to look him in the eye. "Don't worry, I'm all right. No wounds or anything similar. Just a little shaken, that's all." She smiled at him, though her tone revealed bitterness. "[That was incredible, what you just did. You took a big risk grabbing me—you could have fallen back down.]" Her eyes wandered in the blurry distance. "Perhaps it was selfish of me to ask. In any case … thank you. I really appreciate it…"

Some more suggestions here. I think that you’re missing something around the [asked] in brackets, since it doesn’t really say what Flame hadn’t asked Alice is bugging him there.

The other bracketed part is just a bit of dialogue that I felt sound a bit stilted, but I admittedly was drawing blanks on hard suggestions for it. Perhaps it’d sound better just building out the “You took a big risk grabbing me [...]” sentence?

Flame: “Oh, so you are thankful? Since for a second I was half-expecting you to say ‘I could’ve handled things there’.” ^^;
Alice: “(Honestly, considering how I know Water Pulse, I probably could’ve done something against that Rhyperior…) No, no. I’m… glad that things happened this way. No sense being upset about having your life saved!”
Gaius: “(Yeah no, I saw that ‘bitterness’ comment in the narration.)” >_>;

For a moment, Flame thought of saying I'd rather have jumped down there to fight in reply, but limited himself to a joyful nod. Nothing could peel off that Virgo-like smirk off his face. Deep down, he couldn't deny he felt vaguely smug over Alice’s praise right then. It was likely his mind patting itself on the back, gloating: congratulations, he finally did something right!

[Maybe, he figured, he was just souring his own accomplishments needlessly; the thoughts came about on their own, however.]

"I could have sworn I saw you right behind me," Gaius crossed his arms at Alice, "What took you so long?"

I didn’t fully follow what the point of the paragraph in brackets were. I assume it was something to the effect of the below:

[Why was he thinking of it in those terms? It was just souring himself on his own accomplishments! At the same time, he couldn’t deny it was him who’d seen things in such a light. Maybe some part of him was trying to reel in a sense of undeserved pride.]

But yeah, dunno if that’s right, and some cleanup and expansion would probably make things a bit clearer.

- Alice’s eye twitches -
Alice: “Oh my gods, Gaius are you serious?” >.<
Gaius: “What? It’s a valid question!”

The Dragonair sent a brief but effective glare. "My body isn't exactly suited for climbing steps."

Gaius did not look impressed by the explanation. "Couldn't you have flown?"

Flame could have sworn that Alice's pupils had dilated for a moment, along with her body tensing up. It went away just as quickly, and she raised her head and looked away.

"I was panicking. Couldn't think straight."

Actually, that makes me curious, but had Gaius already put two and two together about Alice and her issues living up to an -ahem- ‘urban legend’ in this story? Since if he did, his line there should technically change a bit.

Gaius: "Alice, how do you forget something that should be basic instinct for you?! At least Flame has the excuse of being a useless incompetent!" >_<;
Alice: "I'm sorry, let's see you do better when you're about to be smashed into paste by a giant rock rhino!"

Flame nodded in support. "It did catch us at a bad time, Gaius."

"Exactly," Alice said, "Besides, what was that Rhyperior? I couldn't tell if it was a Feral or a Scum."

"Didn't look too bright to me," quipped Virgo. [ ]

Gaius seemed to think about it for a while, then sneered. "No idea, though what difference does it make? As long as it's dead, that's fine by me."

Some proposed changes for this bit. Some more stylistic than others. Though you might want to have Virgo’s line expand a bit to indicate whether he thinks the Rhyperior was more likely a Feral, a Scum, or if he feels that it could’ve gone either way.

"It does make a difference, you numskull," Alice uttered indignantly, "If we did just kill a Scum, its companions … are …" her train of thought remained unfinished as her eyes became fixated on a point in the sky.

They all followed her gaze, and then Flame noticed what had caught her attention: the bright spot round which the storm clouds revolved seemed to be pulsing and jerking erratically, as though something inside was stretching its shell to break free. Spurts of electricity surrounded it. Then, before their very eyes, a column of pinkish light shot up to the sky and collided with the singularity—it sliced through the fog, coming from somewhere in the distance. [The burst of energy only elicited a further frenzy of activity.]

"What the fuck? Did everyone else just see that?" Gaius said aloud, his stern voice only partly able to conceal his disquiet.

"Y-yeah. Look, there it goes again!" Flame replied, pointing in the direction where the light came from just as another flash rose up to the heavens.

Gaius visibly tensed up, biting his lips. "Can any of you identify that? Legionaries, gimme a report!"

I’m surprised that Gaius didn’t cop more crap from Yvaine and especially from Virgo with that tone he was taking there.
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Some more recommendations, and two bits that I feel are more open-ended:

For [The burst of energy only elicited a further frenzy of activity.], I think that it makes sense to be a bit more descriptive of what that frenzy of activity looks like. For instance, are they seeing more lights collide? Electricity crackle? All of them are details that don’t really come through right now.

Virgo: “Just a reminder, but I’m pretty sure we outrank you right now, civvie. Try asking a bit nicer next time.” >:|
Yvaine: “Virgo, just let it go and focus on the giant swirl in the sky right now.” >_>;

So the legionaries stood, watching the new flash of light rouse the storm's epicentre, only to disappear immediately thereafter. Virgo simply shrugged. His Umbreon partner, by contrast, stood wordless for a moment.

"I recognise that," she limited herself to say, observing.

"Well, speak up already!" Gaius fumed, "I'd rather know if this pocket of space is about to implode or something."

The Umbreon seemed to dismiss his words, entertained in her own world. "Teleportation. Something is drawing the psionic energy from the anomaly to teleport outside. I've seen our commanding officer emit the same light back at the Tiberis Delta."

Flame: “W-Wait a minute, whoever’s doing that is using the energy from here to teleport. Then doesn’t that mean that these places would be usable as shortcuts by the Scum after all?”
All: “...”
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That means we're not alone, Flame deduced, molding in his own head what creatures might lie beyond the fog.

Virgo's grin widened as he recalled the memory. "Oh, I remember now. The arsehole left us wading through a swamp with Skorupis crawling all over. He got what was coming to him."

Wow, rude. Though I wonder if the CO was a fellow Praetorian or someone else they were embedded with who had… consequences for leaving ‘mons of Virgo and Yvaine’s ilk high and dry like that.

"We don't have time to listen to your bloody stories," Gaius shoved Virgo aside as he set out towards the light, "Those Scum know we're here and each flash means less prey to hunt. Expedite!"

Following the narrow path atop the wall, the rest of Team Phalanx struggled to keep up with their leader, his pace nimbler and his feet swifter than theirs. As Flame followed, it only just then began to sink in that they were on the verge of encountering their foes. That realization brought a chill of dread unto his brain, though he did manage to maintain a half-decent running pace. He felt powerless but to watch as a fourth column of light crossed the sky, a telltale sign that more Scum were escaping to safety.

Some parts of him, however, prayed for more lights to follow.

Some more rephrasings for your consideration here.

Flame: “Gaius, need I remind you that we’re only five Pokémon going up an entire encampment? Maybe you should be a bit less gung ho-?”
Gaius: “Oh shut up.” >_>;

After a long run, they finally reached what was presumably the enemy encampment: a collection of canvas roof structures held up by metal poles, built into one of the many interior courtyards. When they entered the compound, it all looked like [an inconspicuous attempt] to conceal what hid underneath—without much effort put into it, either. No gates blocked their entrance. Inside, Flame witnessed heaps of rubbish and various items [discarded on the ground with a certain nonchalance]: he could make out filthy and dusty cloths, metal fragments, strange iron tools.

Nothing they saw suggested the inhabitants hadn’t left the camp behind in this state from a hasty withdrawal.

Okay, there’s a few bits that I feel can be smoothed out here, and a couple bits that tripped me up. Though if you’re updating bits of the early story to account for Gaius’ backstory, I’d honestly expect him to some sort of noticeable reaction here, since if his dialogue 20 chapters from here is anything to go by, seeing an encampment like this is likely to dredge up some really ugly memories.

For [an inconspicuous attempt], “inconspicuous” means “subtle” or “not standing out”, you probably want something along the lines of “small” or “token” there to sell the idea that there wasn’t much of an attempt to disguise the encampment like the rest of the sentence implies.

For [discarded on the ground with a certain nonchalance], something about it feels off to me, perhaps “certain nonchalance”. It might make sense to come down a bit firmer in description like [discarded on the ground without any sign of care where they wound up]

Flame: "Wait, this is a good thing, right? It means that they knew we were coming and ran off! We don’t need to fight them!"
Gaius: "Or that they sortied and went off raiding outside the Mystery Dungeon while we're stuck here."
Alice: "Be careful. Going through everything we did in the dungeon only to turn up an abandoned encampment? This doesn't feel right at all."

"So this is the kind of place they hide in," Alice commented as he brought her gaze to a full sweep.

"Oh, you haven't seen the half of it," Virgo said.

That line from Virgo has some other meanings now that I’m current with the story. Especially since there’s a nonzero chance thanks to the sorts of deployments that he’s been on that Virgo knows what the more normal living arrangements of the Scum look like, and that line is significantly more apt than anyone on Team Phalanx realizes at this point in time.

There wasn’t time to discuss Virgo’s topic further, as Gaius carelessly trudged upon the filth and beckoned them inside a narrow doorway. Flame refused categorically to let the smelly objects on the ground make contact with his body, so he sort of awkwardly hopped from clearance to clearance, arriving just behind the others.

Couple tweaks there.

Gaius: “What, are you in a meadow of flowers right now? Hurry up and quit mincing around like that, Flame!”
Flame: “Look, this would be a lot more tolerable if we had footwear right now!” >.<

Much to his surprise, the inside of the camp was not pitch black like he’d expected. A handful of ethereal torches emitted a feeble purplish glow onto the walls and the ceiling, though some appeared to have been knocked down. At least I don't need to lead the way with my tail, he thought to himself with relief.

The five tiptoed through the corridor in an unspoken agreement of silence. Noises came from somewhere within the camp, though none of them could pinpoint where. They would simply have to look around until luck sided with them.

Some more odds and ends, thought dat underlined bit…

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Flame: “Guys? I-I don’t think we’re alone here.”
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Gaius: “Well duh. We’d be in bigger trouble if we were since we have to bring at least one Scum back alive to Ariel.”
Flame: “I just hope that nobody’s sitting on something like a Totter Orb, otherwise this is gonna be a short mission.” ._.

Empty crates and busted-down grated doors marred the otherwise barren corridors. At some point, Flame decided to peek his head into a room: there stood nothing between the four walls but a stack of hay, much like to the one he slept on, and some chunk of carved wood (he realised it was a toy—it had four legs, a crude head, and teeth and claw marks all over it).

Small nitpick, though I see that camp followers are a thing in this setting, or at least among the Scum. Unless this warband just didn’t have the option of leaving their young behind at a place like Tromvik, since that’s been established to be the case for some of them in later chapters.

Another surface further down the hall had been rendered smooth and light; all over it were inscribed markings of some kind. Flame squinted his eyes to make sense of them. Upon closer examination, he realised they looked like paw prints of diverse shapes and sizes. Three claws, then two, then again five; one identical to his own paw, the next closer in size to his head. He wondered why anybody would spend so much time stamping their paws onto a mural.

Probably means something, Flame observed, This is such an odd way to write, though. It must take so many pokémon at a time…

Well, that’s one way to confirm that this is a Canonworld prequel.
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Though more seriously, it’s cute to see Footprint Runes (or at least I think that’s what they are) pop up here.

Before he could ponder on the subject any longer, a blinding flash coming out of the end of the corridor jolted them all to their feet. Under Gaius' command, they flattened against the nearest wall, with Flame covering their back. Rustling sounds, footsteps, then silence again.

"Damn it, that was another teleportation," Gaius cursed through his teeth, "We can't let any more get away! Double time!" he whispered, before breaking into a dash to the source of the flash.

Flame: “U-Uh… shouldn’t we be asking Virgo and Yvaine to prepare a Luminous Orb or something for us so that we don’t just walk into a bunch of ‘mons chucking Blast Seeds at us from a murderhole or something like that?”
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Gaius: “Again, we’re broke! Now hurry it up already!”

Flame followed suit, along with the rest of the team, though a kind of panic gripped his muscles for a moment. Their running was starting to cause quite a ruckus, but Gaius made it very clear that surprise didn't matter anymore.

His heartbeat only escalated when they crossed the threshold to the room. He suspended his breathing. Although it was wider and better-illuminated than he'd anticipated, the chamber contained nothing more than dust and crates and humidity. Flame tiptoed round the containers with his claws drawn, trailing his leader's arm blades. Whilst he devoted his utmost focus on any possible hostiles, his eyes couldn't help but wander on the stacks of skulls and other bones crammed in the space between a pair of crates—he could have sworn Alice uttered something along the lines of 'by Arceus…'

Some suggestions for a reflow there, though I wonder in light of what you’ve recently revealed about Gaius, if he’d logically have had more of a reaction to that bone pile there..

Flame: "Wait, wait, wait. Why is this such a big deal when the Scum would be running into the same Ferals we did? Aren't these just some trophies they took from ones they hunted?"
Alice: "Flame, considering how we're just finding all these bones lying around and stories of the sorts of things the Scum used to do in the Wastelands, I think these are from Pokémon the Scum ate. And, I'm not sure these all came from Ferals."
401076862924750848.png

Gaius: "Still think I'm the bad guy for wanting to display a few of their corpses in public?"

There were also other containers with their lid wide open, exposing a messy mixture of foodstuffs and orbs and seemingly random everyday objects. A photo of a three-member family peeked from the pile.

Reminder that unless literal film technology is lying around this setting for these guys to use, you probably want that as a picture or a drawing of some sort.

Following what must have been the third full sweep, he stopped, and spun his head round dumbfounded. There was nobody present. Even after the flash, the footsteps, the place looked deserted.

Did … did the Scum just evacuate completely? Via teleportation? Flame gulped, knowing that would doubtlessly mean a failed objective.

"Looks … clear," Gaius uttered slowly, nearly unbelieving of his words, "Stay prepared for contact. They can't be very far."

"Where did those sons of bitches run off to?" Virgo growled under his breath while rubbing his claws together.

Those five are so lucky that encampment didn’t post a tougher stay-behind force or properly booby-trap the approach to their teleportation site, otherwise at least 80% of the cast currently present would’ve likely gotten killed off within the next 10 paragraphs or so.

Then, as though a guiding light descending from the gods, a sound arose from within a wall: footsteps hurriedly mashing against the floor. In a knee-jerk reaction, Gaius seemed to spring out of his own will onto a pile of decaying boxes made of lumber, and gracefully brought down an arm-blade. The already brittle material shattered into a hundred tiny pieces shrouded by a cloud of sawdust.

Concealed no more, Flame's eyes quite nearly failed to catch the opening in the wall, leading to a dark stairway aimed downwards.

"God-fucking-damn it! Double time!" Gaius barked as he leapt forth into the passage.

Flame could do nothing but follow suit, and avoid tumbling down the steps. It took Team Phalanx little time to safely reach the bottom of the stairway, where—

His heart jolted in his chest. A short distance from them stood the same ghost they'd fought earlier—the ‘Gengar, as Alice called it, suspended in mid-air and sporting an indifferent grin. There were other creatures too: bipeds, quadrupeds, a patchwork of colours that he couldn't properly describe numbering in the dozens.

A couple tweaks here and there for your consideration.

Flame: “Oh my god, we are so dead right now.”
401076862924750848.png

Alice: “Easy, Flame! Something’s not right with them!”

The five of them instinctively froze on the spot. None of the hostiles seemed to judge them worthy of a glance, if they even noticed them intruding at all. Flame managed to get a better view: each pokémon stood thigh-to-thigh inside a strange square elevated from the pavement and circling the Gengar.

"What the … hold on. Are they…?" Gaius mumbled half to himself, as Flame yelled at him in his head to give out an order.

Before long, the air surrounding the Scum started to distort into a sort of visible bubble as a faint pink aura outlined the ghost-type.

"Holy fuck—they're getting out!" Gaius exclaimed, yet refused to move out of their hiding spot.

- Flame’s jaw flops open -
Flame: “S-So what do we do, then?”
401074476474957834.png

Yvaine: “This.”

Right as the Grovyle finished uttering the last syllable, Yvaine's head was already cocked back, and she spewed a pulse of dark energy from between her fangs that smashed into the Gengar with brute force. A scream lacerated the air—the parts of Flame which weren't cringing from the sound recalled their previous encounter with content.

Before the purple phantom's body could hit the ground, the outline of pink energy gathered on its very body burst, inundating the chamber under the guise of an all-encompassing light.

Flame could only find shelter behind the cover of his paws, which likely saved his eyes from irreversible damage. Inside, even after the energy faltered, he hesitated in uncovering his face, for every step of this journey would have been rendered futile if the Scum did get away. Regardless of his absolute ignorance about teleportation, the Gengar did look close to completing the procedureclose enough to warrant overlooking five intruders!

Then, possibly out of survival instinct more than discipline, he shook the numerous visions out of his eyelids and brought his focus to the Scum. There they were! He couldn't have felt a tighter mix of excitement and dread altogether. Many of the pokémon lay sprawled on the ground in various states of disorientation.

"N-now is the time! Engage!" Gaius yelled with as ferocious a voice he could muster.

Some suggestions for your consideration. While the Scum being disorganized and disoriented surely didn’t hurt, I’m a little surprised that nobody on the team yeeted the likes of a Totter Orb for good measure before charging ahead like that. After all, even in canon, they’re very effective at helping small parties pick apart large mobs and if they exist in this setting and are around to use, it’d explain a few things about why the Scum here just never recovered their initiative after their mass teleport got crashed.

That was all it took for Team Phalanx to snap out of their stupor. With a few elegant movements, Gaius sprung into the air to deliver a clean blow to a Servine who'd just gotten up. Alice, never one to lack grace, stuck the furthest from the principal mass and spewed lightning bolts to whomever crossed her sight, aiding a certain Umbreon to dash into the mass of bodies. Virgo meanwhile leapt upon the nearest soul, sinking his claws through its neck in a gargle of blood. Then he switched victims and moved on to another.

All but Flame. Not him. He'd understood the order; his ears functioned just fine, despite recent abuse. Yet he stood there, looking at it all with sleepy shock. His body had rebelled, and wished to merely spectate the fighting.

And this is why you invest in teaching Protect to your defenders if your setting lets you get away with it. A shield wall would’ve put up a significantly greater amount of resistance up to how Team Phalanx and their escorts just stroll in and hack away and turned the Scum’s tight spacing from a liability into an asset.

Well, assuming you’re not tottering about in a daze. That tends to get in the way of defensive formations no matter how well thought-out they are.

Flame: "Gaius, shouldn’t we be bothered at all that these Scum aren't mounting effective resistance at all in spite of outnumbering us like 6 to 1?"
Gaius: "Nah, less talk, more stabbing."

That is, until the very moment he noticed a four-legged fox sprouting leaves all over charging directly at him. Something clicked in his head, and he gathered enough common sense to yank his body weight to the side, just in time for the Leafeon to swing its glowing tail and miss.

Flame let out a hiss when he felt his left arm crushed under his weight upon landing, but the grass-type Scum wasted no time in twisting round and jumping him in a moment of vulnerability. Now it kept him pinned by the forearm.

An overpowering odour flushed into his nostrils at this distance: one of grime, sweat, but also of dew. No amount of squirming got rid of the figure towering over him. The Leafeon sniffed his face twice, then growled. Its voice sounded distinctly feminine... her sharp fangs, not so much. Without warning, he felt a set of teeth sink into his neck. He gagged and wheezed as his legs began kicking at the Leafeon's backside insistently, only his layer of scales acting as a line of defence.

"Aaaargh! G-get … off me!" Flame growled in panic-fueled exasperation.

Some little nitpicks here and there, though could’ve been worse, it could’ve been a Squirtle line ‘mon biting down there, since Pokémon Origins taught me that bad things happen to Chars when those buggers go for neck bites. :V

Flame: "Agh! I take it all back! I'm not bothered! I'm not bothered! Get her off of me!"

At one point, he felt some pressure ease off his right forearm: no thought was required for his body to automatically channel all his energy there, and slip his paw away and onto the back of her head. Simultaneously he curved his tail in such an unnatural position that the tip pressed into her loins.

That seemed to do the trick: a watery patina could be seen in the Scum's eyes, and the grip of her bite felt looser as she panted for air. He seized the occasion and freed his other paw, then he pushed her head to the side with all his might. Aided by both his paws, the Leafeon's head ended up thumping against the wall, where the pokémon fell over in a daze.

For some ungodly reason, when he pushed himself back on his feet, Flame grinned. A strange new sensation flowed through his veins and arteries. It held little regard for the mark of a set of fangs visible on his scales, or the general chaos playing out all around: he'd won. He felt strong. Virile, even.

Some more small tweaks here and there that I think would tighten things up.

Flame: “I did it! I did it!”
Gaius: “Great, now worry about the other 60 of them!” >_>;

Was he overreacting? Perhaps, he thought. But he'd fought somebody, the quivering thing he was, and now they lay defeated behind him, beaten with those very claws. Nobody could possibly deny him bragging rights. Puffing his chest out, he gazed over the battlefield to identify any possible new challenger. And it came in the form of Gaius' voice.

Probably a good thing for Flame’s little chest-puffing moment that he tuned out all the screams and death rattles in the background for a moment. :V

"Flame! Enemy Gengar—right flank!"

The name sapped a chunk of his excitement away. Sure enough, in that direction, the Gengar had by now reentered levitation, and with a displeased frown prepared a ball of ghastly energy to hurl directly at him. Midpath, a leaping Umbreon collided with the sphere and absorbed the subsequent blast, landing on the ground unscathed. Yvaine then rapidly fired one and then another dark pulse, one of which connected. Even as the ghost-type returned fire, [she managed to turn and nod his way] an implicit 'I'll take care of this'.

In the back and forth, Flame came quite close to not noticing the Leafeon behind him shakily regaining her footing. He failed to avoid a slash from the Scum's leafy tail, which left a stinging cut on his scales, but he managed to dodge a following attack.

Unable to find a lull in his adversary's movements, and soaking up another slash on his arm, he chose to enact the first strategy which popped to mind: turn away and run.

Probably should’ve paid closer attention to that Leafeon, Flame.

There’s some odds and ends I’d also recommend here, but the most important of which is that the [she managed to turn and nod his way] is ambiguous there between Flame and the Gengar. You could probably resolve it with something like [Flame watched her manage to turn and nod his way].

Flame: “G-Guys, help!
Gaius: “Oh my gods, I thought you beat her already, Flame!” >.<
Flame: “I did too! That’s why I need help right now!” O_O;

One major problem presented itself right away: there was not nearly enough space in the chamber, what with the occasional corpse on the floor, plus his very companions all being entangled in some sort of stand-off. On top of that, his opponent seemed quite the natural runner, too.

The game of tag, however, came to an end soon—not even he knew the point, whether to tire out his pursuer or stall for time—since he soon came to notice the presence of an additional foe, a purple, four-winged bat-like thing flapping around at blinding speed.

Flame braced mentally for a frontal attack, all while keeping the Leafeon at bay, but the noise of scales breaking and the abrupt flare of pain came from in between his shoulder bones. He let out a small scream right along when two little fangs cut deeper into his flesh, leaving behind a searing mess of agony.

Raising his chin to the sky, he stumbled backwards haphazardly as his paws scrambled to rip the thing off. Only to have a leaf blade scrape his knee whilst his guard lowered, slicing up his balance more than any tissue. By now all vision carried a distinctive reddish hue, and the whole world quivered to his eyes just as another flare of pain hit from where the Crobat had dug in.

Some more sundry tweaks for this block that I think would help.

Flame: “H-Help! Heeeelp!
Alice: “Gaius, I think you should really go and help your teammate right now.”
Gaius: “Too busy stabbing Scum. Take a number.”

Clawing and struggling was getting him nowhere. And now two enemies threatened to end his short-lived fight once and for all. So, when the Leafeon bared her claws and sprung forth to finish the pointless struggle, he surrendered his body over to instinct.

The Scum never saw it coming. Her sides were licked by the jet of flames just as it exited his jaws and nostrils.

And she screamed.

Flame concentrated all his annoyances and frustrations from his ordeal in this Mystery Dungeon in that one breath, up to the very point his opponent's shrieks subsided.

Then, he turned his attention to the bat so stubbornly latched on to his back. The escalating pain flared into his thoughts. Unable to conjure a proper plan, he simply mashed his back against the stone wall, each crash eliciting cracking and splattering noises.

His legs eventually defied his commands due to a sour cocktail of pain and breathlessness. By then, he was able to rip that blighter off him with ease—even tearing a wing away in the process.

Flame sat there, catching his breath, watching the now tri-winged Crobat twitch erratically as it sat dying. The sight normally would have come out as pitiful, but there was no space for pity right now. No, in fact—

"AAAaaah, fuck … me…" he hissed, trying to squeeze his eyelids further than physically achievable.

He breathed in some more, and waited for the inferno to subside before exerting his mind any further. Even now, he felt the same emotions he'd briefly savoured just minutes ago: the battle left him a hurting, searing mess, yet he'd loved it. Notwithstanding adversity—two against one!—he'd fought with claws and teeth, and now the fruits of his labour lay charred at his feet.

498ed76be651cffb6bb9bac6a9bb75c3.jpg


Some more proposed tweaks. Though I actually don’t remember from my initial readthrough, but is Flame’s bloodlust thing going on here supposed to be something general to Pokémon in this setting or is that just specific to him going on an adrenaline rush here?

One part of him experienced disgust in having executed two living beings, but the rest chuckled grimly and scattered those thoughts to the wind.

Boy is it gonna get awkward if Flame ever runs across family to one of the ‘mons he’s killed in battle in this story later on. I mean, I doubt anything would happen considering who he is, but that’s gonna take on some really awkward tones really fast if the conversation of “you killed [X]” ever comes up.

Gaius: "Didn't you just goosh a Paras a couple of days ago and then burn a Carnivine to death? Since when were you a bleeding-heart about killing things?"
Flame: "Gaius, these 'mons have a writing system and social organization across species like we do. It's not the same and you know it."
Gaius: "In case if you hadn't noticed, but ferals don't gang up and kill off entire towns! Excuse me if I'm not terribly impressed by these 'mons having advanced beyond sleeping in the open and pissing on trees!"

I did it, Flame gave a shaky grin, I finally did it. All by myself… I can fight…

The realisation brought along a numb kind of peace in his mind, if only for an instant. Then, he noticed how his comrades were still engaged in combat with the last couple of Scum left on their feet. Could he help? But the sheer thought of spouting more flames twisted his stomach in horrible knots, more than it should have.

In fact, with each passing second he felt the opposite of healthier.

That bat—it must have injected me with something, he gulped, taking in air sharply. This wasn't normal. Thoughts and scenarios ran through his head as he attempted to crawl off into an inconspicuous corner. Did the liquid contain venom? [If so, action of some kind was needed immediately. Preferably not in between some combatants' legs.]

Some small tweaks. Also for the bracket, while it’s some funny innuendo that I can’t really tell if it was intended or not, that sort of wordplay probably wouldn’t really occur to Flame after a couple near-death experiences, being shaken up by brutally putting down a couple Pokémon, and realizing he’s been poisoned unless he’s having words from someone else (okay let’s get real, it’d be Virgo) play back in his mind there.

But what could he possibly do? He needed to think. Oh! An object of some kind; maybe something in his bag could help.

He brought a paw down to feel his sides. Nothing. Only his naked scales.

Gritting his teeth, Flame felt ready to cry at the sheer cruelty fate had heaped on him. The leather container must have been torn to shreds during the fighting.

He felt both the pulse in his throat and the fuzziness clouding his head. Multiple times he attempted to call out to his friends, but he couldn't even be sure they were still there.

Thankfully, the last clear emotion to float by his thought was one of accomplishment: the blood on his chest, Gaius' chirping voice, before the fuzziness took over completely.

Flame: “Did- Did I just die there?” ._.
Gaius: “Well there’s a teaser for another chapter, so no. You’re still alive. Somehow.” -_-;
Alice: “Wait, there is? What does it say?”

On that note, let’s go ahead and find that out. :V

"... The camp is on the brink of collapse. We truly cannot afford more refugees flowing in—already nearly half of those we house sleep on little more than naked grass. Meanwhile, food caravans have become fewer and far between.

That last batch from Sperantia Nova seemed to be the last straw: fights are breaking out over rations, and one of our security personnel succumbed to his injuries as a result. I do not break orders with a lightweight conscience, please do believe me.

But the situation is escaping my control. They wanted to get out, seek refuge in Aesernia, so I let them."


Piece of correspondence between Colonel Ariel and Director Varus of the Gratia Refugee Camp.

Waaaaaait a minute, isn’t Ariel the Governor of Aesernia Province? Just how many ranks and titles did she worm her way into? Though mind the small typo there.

Flame: "Whelp, so much for getting 'leftovers' for a while." ._.;
Gaius: "Yeah, and I don't think I'm going to get anything meaningful from mugging these 'mons either."
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Alice: "I'm a bit more concerned about the fact that they're coming to Aesernia. If they're running to us, the trouble they're running from isn’t far behind."
- Look around -
Alice: "You know, our mission did turn out alright… or at least I think it did if there’s another chapter after this. Maybe we could take that as a reason to go and treat ourselves to that trip to-"
Flame: "The next chapter. I ended the last one passing out from being poisoned. You literally can't run away from the plot without killing me here."
Gaius: "(Being stuck around Southerners aside, would that really be such a bad thing again? Since even if he's been getting a bit better, Flame's still a net liability right now.) I mean, yeah Alice, we can't bail on the story here. We have mission results to bring back to Ariel, after all."
Alice: "... Ugh, fine. But you two really aren't making this easy!" >_>;

And that's a wrap! Good luck with the syndication update @Shadow of Antioch , and I'll be looking forward to seeing your story catch up with your other versions here. ^^
 
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Chapter XI: Equilibrium

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XI: Equilibrium


"I worry for this great nation. Our Emperor continues to talk about this 'Ascension Programme' and how he has the protection of so-called 'Benefactors'. Albeit I refuse to believe it, his own words imply heavily that our state's sovereignty has been sold to external entities. If this were true … someone must take matters into their own hands."

Excerpt from Governor Marius Alakazam's speech at the Imperial Council.


Imperial Palace – Urbe

The ministers had reconvened at nine-thirty that morning. Since then, the sky outside the vast double-paned windows had turned gloomy and overcast, denying the sun any chance to shed its life. There would be few people out on the streets of Urbe, Adrian thought. The council room became just as somber; the elaborate golden chandelier dangling perilously overhead was lit only at dawn.

Diverting his gaze from the rambling Sceptile sitting opposite him, the Dragonite let out a small sigh, struggling to find enough concentration to absorb every word. His eyes travelled downwards by themselves. There were five pokémon gauging his reaction—all hand-picked ministers, all sitting around a table with him at its forefront. Currently the Minister of Agriculture—a tall and frail-looking Sceptile—was reading off endless statistics about food production for the month. In a way, Adrian simultaneously listened and didn't listen. One moment his mind reflected on the possible ramifications of declining wheat production, and the very next moment he'd already drifted off to simpler times, spent running down the palace halls, laughing, devoid of harrowing duties.

"… No droughts have taken place this year, my lord. The blame for the recent decline of agricultural output can only be attributed to war," the Sceptile went on, hunching over to read from his papers, "In fact, nearly forty percent of the north's farmers have been conscripted for military service, and as such their fields remain abandoned. The food supply in the provinces of Basilea and Aesernia remains particularly worrying. On a positive note, however, reports show a healthy harvest in the rest of our realm, where the main issue remains that of transportation—"

Adrian's paw tapped idly at the mahogany table, cutting his advisor short. "That's quite enough of that. We do not have all day. There are more pressing matters to discuss."

The minister seemed intended to add something for a moment, looking vaguely offended, but nodded wordlessly nevertheless.

Adrian came dangerously close to letting out a sigh of relief when silence reigned once again. It allowed him to consolidate his attention. Wind began howling outside the windows. Something throbbed from within his head, but he largely managed to ignore it. Taking a deep breath to brace himself for what was to come, his eyes turned towards the youngest pokémon in the room: a Lucario, standing as representative of the Imperial Army in lieu of Sycorax, who had left Urbe just a few days prior.

Let's just get on with this, he swallowed unconsciously.

"Colonel, would you kindly explain to us how the war effort is going?"

The Lucario bit his lower lip briefly, feeling every pair of eyes in the room shift to him. However, he remained perfectly still in his seat.

"Of course. To put it bluntly, Your Highness, the situation at the front has not changed," the colonel drew imaginary lines along the map on the table, "All along the lines towns are constantly exchanging hands, and every offensive comes at a murderous price in casualties. Only a handful of army groups have achieved their full objectives. Further south, however, the town of Sperantia Nova has reportedly been pillaged and burnt to the ground, though an expeditionary force sent to investigate found no trace of hostiles."

Adrian leant forward to inspect the map. The town lay well away from the front lines. Yet, a different question pressed on him: was this 'expeditionary force' the one he had personally sent out on a mission? It had to have been. Feeling his heartbeat flutter, he immediately expelled those thoughts and assumed a stern expression.

"How did the enemy reach this deep into our territory? Do we not have scouting teams?" Adrian narrowed his eyes, fiddling with his claws.

"We do, Your Majesty. I am just as confused as my colleagues as to how they could have travelled so far while remaining undetected. Reports seem to indicate that they may have exploited a local spatial anomaly—or mystery dungeon, as the civilians say."

Adrian sat back against his chair. Not only that, but they had never stopped multiplying. Every other month he'd wake up to news of a new anomaly being discovered. Sooner or later, he thought grimly, one would spontaneously ingest the Imperial Palace. All a matter of time.

My father didn't have to deal with this madness…

"Tell me, Colonel. What exactly do our troops lack?" Adrian asked the question that had been building up inside him, grinding his teeth together, "Morale? Determination? Courage?"

"My lord, I assure you our troops fight courageously. The main issue is that none of us know what the enemy wants, or even who they are. Our forces are exhausted. After twenty years of continuous fighting, we have yet to figure out what it is that pushes them to fight—their goals."

"They have no goals," a wrinkly Alakazam chimed in, wagging a single finger in the air, "Only the destruction of civilisation! That is why they rape and plunder. That is why they use portal storms to destabilise our populace before striking."

Adrian could not help but raise an eyebrow. "That is a very bold statement, senator. What proof do you have?"

"Do you truly believe it's a coincidence that these weather anomalies we call 'portal storms' began to appear alongside the first border raids? Of course the Scum are using them as weapons! Stop being so naive!"

The Dragonite sent a look of veiled antipathy toward the Governor of Urbe Province. Such office did not even exist barely two years prior—filled automatically by the emperor—but mounting preoccupations had led him to appoint the elderly senator in hopes of relieving some administrative burden. Such a terrible lapse of judgment!

"Actually, my lord, there has been a peculiar development," the Lucario continued, tapping a particular spot on the map, "It happened five days ago, just west of Aquisgranam. The XI and VII Legions, led by general Varus, have been successfully besieging a large enemy force trapped between our lines and the Danubius river. It would appear that on one occasion a small detachment of barbarians walked to our encampment and attempted to negotiate a cessation of hostilities. However, communication was extremely difficult for our troops, and in the end no side could make their demands clear."

He blinked. Somehow, the enemy suddenly made less sense than it did previously.

So … they do have goals? Perhaps they are not simple brutes after all, he clawed at his chin thoughtlessly, But why migrate an entire people? Sure, I imagine the Wasteland is a cold, harsh place, but it does not explain why an entire people migrated after hundreds of years. Something must have happened there. Ugh, so many questions…

"General Varus seeks to press on their gains via an all-out assault. For this, he has requested five thousand soldiers and forty more catapults."

"What? Has the general gone mad? I just approved further reinforcements for his legion two weeks ago!"

The Lucario averted his gaze momentarily. "You see, my emperor, there have been issues. The governor of Aesernia has issued the arriving legions conflicting orders; she also has begun shuffling troops around on assignments with Civil Protection and generally impedes their deployment."

The Alakazam grinned subtly, seizing the moment to rise on his feet. "Well said! Since we are on the matter, Hadrianus, your nonchalance is no longer acceptable. Governor Ariel gets away with everything: increasing food prices without imperial consent, commandeering legionaries for Civil Protection, and generally treating the city as her own personal fief. And you—" he pointed an accusatory finger,"—have done nothing!"

He figured he ought to have felt a plethora of emotions. He figured he ought to have felt rage at being so blatantly disrespected—him, the emperor!—and even having his birth name tossed about like vermin. (Years had passed since anyone last referred to him by name; the memory was still vivid). He figured he ought to have defended his honour before all the other ministers. Instead, a lump obstructed his throat.

"… She raised food prices?"

A sense of helplessness took hold of Adrian. No longer did his eyes watch any particular minister, staring into oblivion. Perhaps it was no use trying. After all, he reasoned, the matter should have ended long ago. To persecute his conscience, saddle his thoughts with angst—nothing short of foolishness.

For a moment—he could see quite clearly—her face materialised in his consciousness; her embrace beckoned. 'Won't you come?' she'd say. She would place her hands on his cheeks; she would kiss his cheek, his nose, until all else boiled away…

The sky was starting to turn blue. No, that thought held no place now. She was gone, just like the rest of them.


Aesernia

After the last major aftershock subsided, Team Phalanx discovered that returning to Camp Tempest would not be easy. A regime of panic had taken hold of the streets, as masses of proles fearful of crumbling ceilings flushed down onto the pavement much like a colony of ants. Indeed, the three of them were forced to divert path multiple times, twisting and snaking past streets clogged with debris and pokémon trying to dig through it.

Eventually Flame gave up on attempting to triangulate their current position, and confided in his teammates' knowledge of the town to navigate. The living stream of proles flowing around him forced his eyes glued to Alice and Gaius, fearful of losing sight of them, and meant he could only steal a few glances. Perhaps half the street's buildings paraded significant damage. Two lacked a ground floor entirely. Even those that looked mostly intact still showed traces of distress, like collapsed balconies or cracked cement.

"My god…" he breathed, feeling fatigue creep into his legs.

At some point, he stopped surveying the damage and focused solely on following the Dragonair and Grovyle in front of him.

That soon proved unnecessary, however, for before them lay an enraged mob so thick that Flame could not discern where it ended. The greater mob seemed to concentrate their attention toward a wall—there! Now he remembered: this was Ariel's villa. There were dozens upon dozens of proles crying profanities and collectively pushing against the heavy steel gates.

Although Flame held no clue as to what possibly could have sparked such disorder, a simple look around the area revealed everything he needed to know. Whilst the great walls and the magnificent villa within (only a small sliver of the roof could be spotted) both stood unscathed, scarcely three hundred metres away the entire side of an insula had morphed into a shapeless pile of rubble. Before long, a quadret of Bisharps rushed to the fore of the mob and began pushing and slashing relentlessly at anything in their way. The attack only drove more pokémon to join the fray, and more guards to protect the beleaguered gates.

"I knew it—I knew it would happen!" Gaius said, his voice somewhere in between excitement and concern, "It was only a matter of time. Now they're going to be at her throat until she comes out."

Alice looked on with uneasiness. "Arceus, this is going to end in a bloodshed. We need to get away."

"But … what about the food rations?" Flame disputed, "That's what we came here for!"

A conflicted frown crossed Alice's face. "Too much confusion. There's no time. Let's pray we can find those legionaries later."

He could only sigh internally. Such was fate, he thought; time and effort tossed to the wind, and the problem of securing food had not diminished one bit. As if the earthquake could sense their misery!

But the crowd left no time for debate. As if in an elaborate dance, flaring commoners began responding with streams of fire, water, electricity shot in seemingly uncoordinated directions, and the unfeeling guards only lashed out more savagely. Flame spotted more than a few bloodied faces.

There was a wordless consensus between Team Phalanx. The three drifted toward the very side of the road, a former pavement now strewn entirely with chunks of rubble—grand and tiny.

"Hide your badges. Try to slip through unnoticed," Alice whispered with almost shut lips.

Instinctively Flame reached down for his bag, only to remember that he had none.

That's what I deserve for being so careless yesterday, Flame snarled at himself, hopping briskly along the larger fragments of stone and mortar, I really, really need to get another bag next time we head outside town. No sense in buying one new—not anymore.

To his side, he saw Gaius flip his bag around so that the Civil Protection badge pressed against his body. As far as Alice was concerned, she was visibly unable to remove the object without being forced to halt altogether and meddle carefully with her tail tip. Instead he detached it and tossed it in her bag without much thought, receiving a grateful nod in exchange. Yet, even such provision did not fully quell his fears—for was it not painfully obvious? Civilians never carried bags on them; whether out of lack of necessity, or the price, he didn't know. Moreover, he thought—scenarios already played out in his deluded brain—he'd never seen a group of multiple, radically different species of pokémon travel together as one.

No clue seemed to indicate that the mob directed its rage against Civil Protection as an extension of Ariel's rule, yet such worry came quite naturally. Had anyone seen them, they would doubtless be lynched on the spot.

A passing glance revealed the cordon of guards unravelling before the crowd's fury. One by one they retreated behind the gates through a slim opening, shut again before any prole could force their way through.

In less time than he processed, Team Phalanx pushed aside the last few strands of pokémon who blockaded their advance. Nobody appeared to neither notice nor care about three officers scrambling off in a hurry.

A smile took over Flame's lips once they strayed at a comfortable distance from the roaring crowd. It did not last. Thoughts were swirling in his head violently: all the rubble, all the pokémon wandering aimlessly—what actually did happen? For now, he simply channelled his concentration into running.

"Come on, it'll be safer once we're there," Alice breathed heavily as they dashed uphill, Camp Tempest now partly visible to their eyes.

"Any idea what's going to happen now?" Gaius wondered aloud.

"I—no," Flame replied frankly, "Maybe they'll have us dig through the rubble in search of survivors. Depends on whether Ariel can even step outside her home."

"Wasn't she around here this morning?" Alice tossed a glance at her teammates, "She's always at the Camp at midday, right?"

"Probably," Gaius shrugged, "Don't know what to hope for. Either the crowd maims her, or she comes home to find a pile of ashes. Both would spell trouble for us."

"… and we still don't have a dinner," Flame added in a murmur, as though unwilling to remind such sombering fact.

The Grovyle heaved quietly, shaking his head. "Things just keep getting better, don't they?"

They entered Camp Tempest in an all-out sprint, and stopped momentarily to scan the horizon. . Patches of mud persisted all over. Out of all concrete buildings in sight, only one presented wounds graver than shattered windows. A quick glance dispelled their fears that something had happened to the barracks tent complex. Despite that, officers dashed about in a disordered panic, pushing and shouting and heading off in every direction.

Before they could elaborate what was happening, a hurried Dewott collided with Flame's body in the midst of a sprint and hurled both pokémon to the ground—him, on soft grass; the Dewott in a pool of mud. A few drops splashed over to his forearm. For a moment he contemplated whether to feel puzzled that luck did not abandon him. Then he was on his feet, eyes wide.

"Oh, apologies, s-sir—"

The officer lifted himself slowly, fur dripping with the horrid liquid, eyes fiery. "Hey! What are you three even doing, standing around?"

"I … we're—"

The otter ran his paw over his fur, scrubbing as much sludge off as possible, deeming them unworthy of eye contact. "Didn't you get the memo? Ariel's just convened an urgent meeting of Task Force Aegis. She wants every last person to move their arse."

"Hold on—she's here?" Alice inquired, "She's alive?"

"Yes, of course. Get moving, now!" it nearly growled, beginning to jog away.

"Uh, okay," Flame said, sensing that there wouldn't be time for a conversation, "Where, exactly?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? Just follow everyone else!" the water-type shouted as his distant voice drowned beneath a general buzz that seemed to envelop the whole town.


Just like that—faster than one's eyes could blink—Aesernia was gone. A particular, tentatively optimistic part of his intellect whispered that all hope was not lost; it remained only that, an attempt. Albeit one could reason that only around a quarter of the total structures had been reduced to ruins (all visual statistics) there hung a certain sentiment in the air, one which announced that this state of affairs would not disappear any time in the foreseeable future.

And yet, as Flame sat cross-legged on that humid patch of grass, surrounded by his priceless comrades, a kind of palpable guilt erupted in his system: he ought to have felt worse, it barked. Do you not value your own home? Perhaps his affection for this place had simply not matured fully, for only a week or so had passed since that fateful awakening. Or perhaps it was that he felt something akin to suffocation.

He interrupted that stream of thought to gaze around himself again. Following the general movement of the Camp eventually led them to the training fields, the very same he and Alice had sparred just the day afore, where a sizable contingent of pokémon already sat. Since then, they picked a spot in the grass and plopped themselves down, waiting. Ariel did not arrive. Only a larger and larger stream of officers, encircling their spot, occupying more and more square metres until the entire field now bristled with creatures. The eye would physically strain attempting to merely guess at the number. Most of them appeared to either be murmuring to one another, crying openly, or quietly rummaging through their bags.

"Wow…" Flame said for the third time as he twisted his head round to see better, "This is … a lot … of pokémon. I didn't even know Civil Protection was this big."

Alice did not speak immediately from her coils; he could tell something weighed on her mind as well."Don't take my word for it, but I believe it stood at roughly seven-hundred members when I joined," she said quietly, "You rarely ever see everybody in the Camp all at once."

"I hope we get this over with soon," Gaius bemoaned, shifting uncomfortably in the little space available, "The heat is too much. I think I'm gonna dehydrate if I don't drink something soon."

Upon careful inspection, Flame noticed that in fact both Alice and Gaius were sweating profusely, though the former did a better job of not broadcasting it publically. In truth, he wouldn't have been able to notice it alone, but there indeed was a considerable blanket of torrid air engulfing the field. It must have been due to the sheer number of creatures congregated in one spot. If anything, though, the warmth felt oddly soothing on his scales.

One positive perk of his body was that he never quite suffered the changing of the seasons; while an ice-type might glee in winter and feel miserable come midsummer, neither the scorching heat nor the cold, snowy nights particularly fazed him.

Rain, of course, was a different issue altogether; one could not obtain everything in life.

"Cut that grin, Flame," Gaius shot back, "It's not like you're helping, either."

"What? I can't help it," he half-smiled back, fiddling with his tail tip to avoid it brushing with any unsuspecting back.

Approximately thirty seconds after he said that, a near-sounding voice broke into all-out crying.

Flame sighed. The wait was beginning to take a toll on him, too. Perhaps twenty-five minutes had passed in cramped and uncomfortable positions. Although he did not suffer much from temperature, having dozens upon dozens of pokémon surround him and clamp down on his precious breathing space did naught to make things bearable.

Maybe I should stop whining for once, he thought, Gaius and Alice have it even worse than me—and I still act like it's the end of the world.

Why those two wished to keep him close puzzled him. But it warmed his heart, all the same. Maybe they didn't wish for him to turn any warmer right now.

Suddenly, following what felt like hours but likely amounted to less, something upset the swathes of officers. A general murmur arose. Flame attempted in vain to stretch himself up to identify the subject of their attention, likely Ariel. Nothing. To shift his knees would have meant collision with a large Heracross sitting just ahead; to stand up was unthinkable.

He was about to say something, but bit his tongue when he noticed silence swallowed the whole plateau. Even those still in tears bit back louder sobs. All made sense when his eyes spotted the Haxorus' figure in between two officers in front of him. More sightings followed in a semicircle, until she reached a podium-like platform on one end of the crowd. Her mean-looking legionary escort did not attempt to conceal. Among those was a peculiar form: some metallic purple insectoid—the familiarity with Scizor was undeniable, minus the pincers—with an oversized cannon attached on its back.

Next to him, Alice gasped loudly. "Oh my goodness—Flame, do you see that?"

Attempting to ignore the half-dozen pokémon who stared at them for infringing the unspoken moratorium on noise, he turned to her. "The weird purple thing? Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"That is Sycorax, Supreme Commander of the Imperial Army. Legend goes he was gifted by the gods to our current emperor. Normally you would never find him outside Urbe. What is he doing next to Ariel…?"

He looked more attently, or at least as much as distance permitted. Alice continued referring to the thing as 'he', but he could spot no traits distinguishing either maleness or femininity.

The Haxorus took one step forth.

Now his eyes were fixated on her, much like everybody else's. Even from this distance, she did not look very pleased, eyes almost torpid. Oh, what must that angry mob storming her gates be thinking?

"First things first, let's get the obvious out of the way," Ariel began, voice thundering against dead silence, "Approximately five hours and thirty-seven minutes ago, an earthquake ripped through the province. Early estimates rank it as six-point-five on the Diglett scale."

No voice dared reveal itself in the audience. A thousand eyes stared, brimming with hope and fear.

Ariel paced back and forth on stage, paws held behind her back."Thankfully, most of the damage here appears to be concentrated in the lower residential areas; as you can see, Camp Tempest itself has remained mostly unscathed."

Though imperceptible, faint whispers arose from the crowd. Flame blinked. How that constituted good news escaped him entirely.

Moreover, there lay some vague element of strangeness in their commander's demeanour, at least in his eyes. She seemed quite restrained in both words and stance, casting glances behind her back at the metal insectoid—Sycorax, as Alice called him.

"The epicentre is believed to be in the vicinity of Portus, ninety kilometres west of Aesernia. As such, to confront this emergency, I am organising an expedition to survey the place and locate any survivors. This will include both you—" she gave Task Force Aegis a sweeping look, "And embedded elements of the V Legion. Just in case. Don't expect the professionals to babysit you all, though. Supplies and wagons are being assembled as we speak."

Flame exchanged looks with his teammates. No words were spoken, as though wary of breaking the unspoken moratorium on sound, but pure emotion could be read almost as easily from the eye. Both bore vexation in their dilated pupils.

Another expedition? We just came back from one yesterday! he thought, a newfound object obstructing his throat.

It was, after all, a moral justice. For he wished to rest alone with his team; and now fate reminded him the impossibility of rest. Two lengthy missions had more than taught him what to expect. They would all walk for hours until their legs collapsed—a force this large, fitting on narrow roads!—and expose themselves to danger and suffer the cold and fight until death clawed at their feet.

Perhaps he was thinking in overly melodramatic terms. There didn't necessarily have to be fighting, especially if no mystery dungeons lay on the road. And yet, he could not help but worry.

"Officers, this is a matter of great importance. Don't worry about Aesernia: the remaining legionaries have already pledged to assist with clean-up operations, and to restore order among civilians," Ariel said, pronouncing the last word with every drop of spite imaginable.

Probably means guard duty around her villa, he thought. His thoughts wandered off to the mob-rule that had taken hold outside her villa. With the Haxorus standing before his eyes, they'd obviously failed in satiating their vengeance. He pictured Bisharp guards slashing and hacking rioters' chests open, forming a cordon behind the breached gates. Was it conceivable that the proles smashed through?

"Got it? Any questions? Good. You will rendezvous outside the western gate two hours from now. Bring whatever you can. Dismissed."


Unsurprisingly, Team Phalanx did not have supplies to gather. They forwent visiting their tent entirely, instead taking a stroll around the town centre to digest what just happened. There was a lot to digest.

Just when I was thinking we could get some rest… Flame heaved internally, eyeing the mess of plaster dust and that coated the main road white.

"She can't be serious," Alice mumbled, face cast downward, "We're going on another expedition. Another one! We could help dig through rubble here at home, and instead she sends us off again."

Flame reflected for a moment upon the bitterness imbued in her voice. "Yeah. How far away is this place? P-Portus, I mean."

Her eyes rose to meet his briefly. "Not too far, I suppose. It's a fairly big maritime city—most goods circling up north pass through its port. I think Ariel said ninety kilometers, so…" she drifted off, retreating in thought, "That should take around eleven hours on foot. Perhaps more. Travelling with the whole Task Force can't make matters easier."

A mindless sigh escaped him. Thoughts had been wracking all over his head for hours, ever since the first tremor, but … what was he supposed to think? He admitted internally to not quite knowing yet. Perhaps it wouldn't all come crashing down; as he looked around, he took a little surprise in finding the town centre mostly intact (if one ignored the caved roofs and potholes). There was a chance Aesernia's pain might turn into Team Phalanx's bloodline.

Such line of thought brought forth a vapid feeling of nausea, yes, but it didn't strip them of truth.

With an entire province more than likely laying devastated, surely there would be an influx of search and rescue missions! Proles would have nothing left to offer—but the bourgeoisie would offer anything to see their loved ones safe and sound. Even that scenario (always best-case; always stuck in wishful fantasies of his) could not budge problems close into the future. With Portus reportedly destroyed and its harbour unusable, supplies would undoubtedly dwindle before long. Famine might strike jointly with wintertime. What then?

Maybe … maybe we'll have made enough money by then to leave Aesernia. Try our luck elsewhere. Too much to think about right now.

Few pokémon hung about Victory Square. The Gyarados statue atop the fountain was split in two: the tail attached to the fountain's base, and the head, now lying fragmented on the floor. Here too the smell of plaster permeated the air, overpowering even the habitual scent of sweat and urine.

"Thank goodness the square hasn't been destroyed," Alice said in the same dazed voice, "It could have been much worse."

"We have less than an hour left," Gaius noted duly, and pointed to the public sundial. It consisted of little more than a square slab painted with twelve clockwise numbers, a triangular blade jutting out in the middle and casting shade upon one of the numbers.

With nothing else to do but loiter, Team Phalanx drifted onto one of the roads which branched out from the square. Around the corner, dozens of pokémon were preoccupied sifting through smaller pieces of rubble, and two carried away what appeared to be a lifeless body now painted entirely in milky-white dust.

"Arceus. I … I really don't want to leave," Alice whispered, "It almost makes me feel like a coward. The essence of our job is protecting our fellow citizens—and now we're just going to abandon them in a time of need."

Gaius shrugged in a wide motion, managing a small, albeit forced smile. "Not our choice. Besides, what's left for us if we stay?"

"Technically that's true, but, still…" Alice's voice wandered off.

"Think about it: there will be plenty of opportunities to forage in the wilderness. It'll solve the problem of tonight's meal, and then some."

Alice said nothing further, only exhaling softly. Her gaze seldom lifted off the ground.

Immediately Flame sensed a moral impetus to act. His mind wished to retreat back into thought, but that only dug a deeper emptiness in his chest. No, too much thinking destroyed your sanity. After some minutes spent walking, he decided to take initiative.

Just to see her troubled was intolerable.

"Hey … are you feeling okay?" he asked in the most tender tone he could muster. What a question to ask! Obviously she wasn't; but to show that he cared, he thought, would amount to a kinder gift than any petty reassurance.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just … thinking," Alice said quietly, raising her eyes to meet his, only to look away once more.

He nodded, smiling softly in empathy. Almost as if on reflex, his claw ended up on her back. For a moment, he held his breath at committing such a forcibly intimate gesture. For a moment, he considered withdrawing it, until he noticed that she did not protest in the slightest.

"It all happened so quickly," she continued, "One moment we're fretful over food prices, then all of a sudden the earth starts shaking, and no one knows what will happen next."

Dozens of bird pokémon flew overhead in tight formation, though Alice did not appear to notice, so embroiled she was in spilling her mind out.

"Heck, this isn't technically my home town. I should despise this place. Ever since leaving the South I've faced nothing but hardship, and yet … it hurts. It hurts to see Aesernia in this state."

"I … I was starting to grow attached as well. No matter how filthy, it's our home. My home. It's the only one I remember having, anyway."

Alice stared wordlessly with a hint of surprise. Her expression showed two things: firstly, that in the last few days she had completely forgotten that he had amnesia; and secondly, that sharing her thoughts helped alleviate a fair amount of melancholy.

"Look at the bright side—at least we all get to be miserable together, right?" Alice said playfully.

"Eh, that's what we've always been doing," Gaius replied, the veiled smile on his face contradicting those words.

He chuckled, carried away by the sudden current of upbeatness. For a moment he forgot all traces of death and devastation in his head, instead replaced by morbid awe at his team's sheer cohesion.

But as soon as he paid attention to the surrounding flow of pokémon, something caught his eye. A Swampert, headed toward them. Something in it sparked familiarity. It locked eyes with Flame.

"Oh…" Flame said, piecing together the hints, "It's … it's you."

The Charmeleon wasn't entirely sure what happened in the following instants, other than he took off into the crowd like a lightning bolt.

Behind him a great cry roared.

"Thief! Get back here!"

Without really needing to turn round he knew at once the merchant was giving chase. He dashed and pierced through multiple formations of townspeople, butted an innocent bystander to the ground and only resorted to snaking his way around when the crowd's density grew too impenetrable. Now his desperate escape roused quite commotion, and some pokémon dove away from the incoming missile.

The walls—I need to reach the walls. They're so close!

He felt air rush past him much like during a light breeze, when realisation entered his panicked mind: hurling down the road in a straight line would render him awfully predictable.

So in a split second his psyche identified a secondary road relatively devoid of pokémon, and there was no hesitation. Nobody seemed to notice when he deviated, and—with periodic looks behind his back—the last stretch to the rendezvous point blurred until he was back onto the main road. Here the gates stood wide open. Very briefly he stood motionless, tempted to regain his breath, but decided to stick with other officers for paranoia's sake. Just then a four-member team exited the great wooden doors, past a set of unmoving Bisharp guards. (Always Bisharp—Ariel must have been fixated, he thought).

Stumbling outside of Aesernia, and flattening himself against the cold stone of the outer wall, his heartbeat gradually returned to a healthy rhythm. He rested a paw on his chest to make sure of that, bordering on dizziness. The fatigue seemed to hit him all at once; realistically, it hadn't even been that long, perhaps one or two minutes. Each breath felt heavy, oozing with both relief and exhaustion. About a dozen distinct aches dotted his thighs, all of which flared with every passing moment.

Way to go, idiot, he thought, gritting his teeth and growling faintly at himself.

Of course it would happen. Eleven hours of journey loomed ahead of him, all rigorously on foot; of course flinging his body to its exertion limit would happen right beforehand. He knew not whether to blame himself or destiny. The Swampert did appear unexpectedly—certainly an event he could not control. But did he truly need to burst away like a madman, make a scene in front of everyone?

His eyes wandered to his surroundings. Squads of officers and legionaries alike left Aesernia's confines, few sparing perplexed glances in his direction, and walked to an impromptu assembly just down the dirt road, where dozens of wheeled wagons covered by a cloth roof were being lined up perpendicularly. Uncountable numbers of pokémon already flooded the streets and spilt onto the surrounding prairie. How that many creatures would follow one narrow path remained a mystery.

Before long, one of the outbound Civil Protection teams turned out to be a certain Dragonair and Grovyle duo. Some portion of him feared that the enraged merchant would emerge at any moment behind them, but such did not happen. He waved his paw up high to capture their attention, and they joined him below the outer walls.

"Flame? What the hell was that about?" Gaius gave him a sideways glance, speaking slowly.

"R-remember the cheese we ate earlier?" he said, panting lightly, resisting the urge to look away.

Alice's eyes sparked with realisation. "Oh. So that's who you stole it from…"

He nodded plainly. Traces of discomfort lingered in her gaze, but he acted oblivious, knowing not what to say that would alleviate the distaste she likely harboured for what he did.

Regardless of that, Team Phalanx sat down to gather precious rest, knowing what lay ahead of them.


Route 115

Flame was tired. He felt dead tired. But even more importantly, he was bored out of his wits.

Not long after departing, the expeditionary force was forced to cross a bridge over a river one wagon at a time; but that was about the most interesting event to befall them. The rest had been a nightmare of boredom and sweat. For hours they marched and marched without so much as one moment of rest. The conscious act of walking slipped out of his perception entirely, now little more of a mechanical impulse than breathing.

Solace would not greet him in the landscape, either. Lush forests alternated with rolling plateaus, and even dry hills every sporadic hour—it all started to look the same after a while. At some points he even craved to enter a mystery dungeon, if only to bring some excitement into play!

But undoubtedly the hills were the absolute most excruciating bit of the journey. Once the wagons became stuck in a pool of mud and their carriers realised help would be needed to make it uphill—all Aggron and Machoke and Rapidash, all scary-looking—no officer was spared from having to wet their legs and tails in slime, pushing the ungodly heavy wagons one by one for however many kilometers required (Alice merely pretended; the lieutenants would not hear that she had no arms).

Every now and again he entertained himself by watching a scouting team composed solely of birds, soaring far above in tight formation and completing periodic surveying loops round the Task Force. No updates; nothing short of wilderness ahead.

Perhaps chatting with his teammates would have helped keep his mind off of just how dull things were, but chatter had been banned within the first hour of force-marching. Not that he could blame the lieutenants, of course. An army so large definitely produced enough noise to turn a pokémon deaf.

And so, left to its own devices, Flame's mind inevitably fell into the single action which would unequivocally destroy him: thinking. For no matter how long he kept them at bay, wrapped them under layers of glass, his thoughts would inevitably catch up to him. And chief amongst those was always his past.

He closed his eyes briefly, breathing out a small sigh as he trampled grass stalks. Nothing had changed. Nothing made sense. Questions arisen during his first day in this world remained in a sort of limbo, unmoved behemoths. Why was he here? Who was he? What on earth had happened to him?

Why was he here? The question looped endlessly in his inner echochamber.

He put a claw to his chin and closed his eyes.

In this past week, I've made no progress in figuring out who I am or what happened to me. But where do I even look? Alice said the Scum might have something to do with me, but that's just a theory. No concrete proof. Think, Flame, think…

Most surprisingly, the fact that he was walking and the fatigue somewhat helped his psyche carve out realistic possibilities of how events might have unfolded, and work backwards to find solutions.

Many times he'd been told that Charmeleon were not a common sight up north. That meant he very likely was not originally a native inhabitant of Aesernia, or the surrounding area. That left the southern portion of the empire (the map appeared behind his eyelids) at play. Immense swathes of land, certainly, but nonetheless fewer than before.

Suppose he'd joined the Imperial Army, and combat drifted him up north, fighting claw-to-claw and tooth-to-tooth; suppose a particularly able psychic had ambushed him, wiped his memories clean, and left him to freeze solid in that very cavern.

In such scenario, surely he'd left some kind of family member behind who now remained distressed at his disappearance. Or maybe even come searching…

For a moment, he halted hours upon hours of march. His eyes widened in enlightenment.

Of course! How could this have escaped him? It was so simple!

All he needed to do was find one of his fellow Char evolutionary line. None were native to this region. Thus, for any to present themselves meant a high likeliness of them being said family—a brother or a sister, looking for him!

Almost on cue he brought his eyes to analyse the composition of the army group in front and behind him. The wagon convoy that stretched almost as far as the horizon covered much of the force, but from what he could gather no fellow Char stood out amongst the crowd.

This surprised him very little. If his family wouldn't come to him, he thought, then he would go find them himself.

Smiling widely, he paused to appreciate how pleasant it felt to have a long-term goal, one not tied to Team Phalanx's current mission or day-to-day survival. It gave him purpose.

High above, the scouting birds squawked in unison.


Flame maneuvered his way through dappled light and shade, venturing deeper into the coniferous forest. He had to make a conscious effort to keep his tail fire from brushing against endemic shrubbery. Nettles grew alongside ferns and seemed to intermingle into one thick, messy layer. From somewhere deeper in the heart of the woods came the droning of Spearows.

"So…" he hopped over a fallen log, "Ariel didn't even come along with us? After everything she said?"

Every word was alternated with loud snaps from the trampled needle-like leaves and withering twigs.

"That's her quintessential nature," Alice frowned, "We're sent to risk our lives, while she relaxes in her thermae."

"Oh, I hope those proles burnt her villa down for good," Gaius ran his claws along a tree's bark, leaving superficial scratch marks.

Such possibility, in hindsight, should not have evoked surprise. It grew when the expeditionary force had stopped to set up camp on a naked plateau overlooking what the lieutenants claimed to be the Portus countryside. Only then did those in the force realise that Ariel had not quite followed them.

Whilst dozens upon dozens of tents began to spring up, it was Gaius who suggested that they slip out into the nearby woods to hoard as much precious food as physically transportable.

Now, as they continued, he internally marvelled at how coniferous trees towered over all—so slender and fragile, yet the needle-thin leaves only began sprouting where a regular oak tree would end. Consequently, the forest's practical rooftop left swathes of unblocked air, allowing wind to kiss one's skin.

Not long afterwards they came upon an ample break in the trees, where moody sunlight streamed freely. It took but a few steps to realise that there was a fairly broad river slicing up two wooded areas, flowing with foamy impetus. He halted to inspect closer. Both the riverbed and its banks were coated perfectly with jagged rocks of variable size. At no point did the water ascend above hypothetical waist-level, but it still looked like something any sound Charmeleon would rightly mistrust.

"Should we focus on something in particular?" Flame said, his eyes fixated on the pure current, "Like meat or berries?"

Gaius took a few moments to reply. "The two of you stay here and fish. In the meantime, I'll pick any berries that come up and look for ferals. Sentret shouldn't be too hard to find."

"Let's see…" Alice hummed, "I believe there were legionaries fishing downstream: I doubt they shall take kindly to us stealing their prey."

"Ugh, fine…" Gaius heaved, "Bloody bastards, playing our own game. Do what you want. I'm going hunting—see you at sunset."

"Hang on!" Alice raised her voice as the Grovyle turned to leave, "How can you be positive that you won't get lost? Let's stick—hey! Listen to me, for once!"

But Gaius had already begun dashing parallel to the stream, and exited auditory range mere seconds later.

Alice muttered something nefarious under her breath, diverting her eyes to the water and forest surrounding them.

"I think we should try," Flame looked her directly in the eye, "Nobody will ever know if we only catch a couple of fish and leg it. Are you up to it?"

Alice let out a chuckle, one not of derision, but of happiness. "Wow. First bread with cheese, and now fish. Eating like royals, aren't we? Yes, we can try."

"Fantastic," Flame nodded, "I'm assuming you already know the process."

"… Somewhat. 'Tis a skill I was never taught, but the theoretical part is relatively easy to grasp. Leave me a few seconds to word this properly."

She drifted closer to the edge of the water, dipping her tail tip in it, as though to gauge temperature and current intensity.

"Okay, so … the aim is to first stir confusion among the fish, preferably by denying them a chance to escape downstream, and one must then electrocute the water. Any fish should instantly shoot up. Just make sure to catch them as they fall."

Flame hummed loudly. "Makes sense. Between us two you're the only one capable of electric attacks, so that's that. As for me…"

He brought his gaze all round to analyse the river. A voice in the back of his head doubted he could provide much help. Not that he lacked the intention: the stream was anything but impassable, and yet he did not wish to immerge one toe inside it.

No obvious solution presented itself until — there! That's when he saw it. A rough line of rocks jutting out of the stream, surrounded by foam, sufficiently flat and close to each other to be considered a haphazard bridge.

Without so much as a word, Flame walked forth to where his toes actually did touch the water. It was freezing, much like expected. For multiple, undecided moments he stared at the first of the many rocks, picturing possible aftermaths of disastrous falls—a slippery surface, that was all it took.

But those thoughts were soon held at bay by an impetus to show initiative, and—he felt—a particularly strong bout of self-confidence which originated from inside, rather than any individual praise or compliment.

Come on, Flame. It's easy. Show her you're not afraid.

Swallowing, he paced back a few steps, dashed forth, and jumped over his fears. Upon landing his balance suddenly teetered, but the rock was relatively flat enough to allow him to recover.

"Flame? What are you doing?" Alice's voice inquired from behind.

"I have an idea."

Once sufficiently stable, he bent his knees carefully and, with another hop, reached a second rock, this one engorged akin to an oval-shape, but also marginally larger. In an effort to keep his feet still, Flame promptly brought his paws down as secondary support, much like a quadruped.

Were it possible, he would have driven his claws into the rocky surface, so close he felt to slipping to certain demise.

See? That wasn't so bad. Now…

Doubt creeped into his mind, but he shook it away immediately, and held on in the middle of the river.

"Okay, um … I'll use my fire to stir some confusion," Flame turned to Alice, "Once I have them trapped, you go in for the kill."

Alice nodded, looking rather curious. After all, standing on four paws must have been quite an amusing sight, he thought.

Filling his lungs with air, Flame wasted no time to follow standard attacking procedure: no sooner than he could puff his chest did his throat start to clench shut, and a lively, scorching jet of fire spewed out of his jaws and into the water.

No thought was required. Upon contact fire turned to steam, and was accompanied by a crackling hiss that closely symbolised pain. A localised trail of smoke quickly developed into an entire cloud. Fire kept streaming undeterred, pounding the river's surface and doubtless boiling it to temperatures unbearable for any fish. The onslaught continued for nearly an entire minute, at which point dwindling oxygen forced Flame to stop.

No sooner than he began gasping for air did Alice shoot a small net of electricity directly inside the stream. Water itself seemed to twitch, as ripples emerged all over. Then, quiet. Only the sound of his laboured breathing. He looked on with anticipation when an object emerged from under the surface—a fish, Magikarp to be exact, followed by another and another and five more simultaneously. All unmoving. Noticing that the strong current was drifting the motionless fish away, he reacted on instinct and quickly seized the only fish drifting within arm range.

He put it on the rock, pressed under both his paws to keep it although the Magikarp hardly struggled before going limp. The heat emanating only momentarily surprised him. It certainly did look unexceptional, though he would have to taste its flesh for himself.

Looking at the riverbank revealed that Alice had caught a fish of her own. They both looked each other in the eye.

"Did you see that? I didn't think we'd make it on the first try!" Flame shouted whilst attempting to retain balance in his quadruped posture.

"Me neither," Alice said, "I honestly expected fishing to require more effort. Had I known sooner, think of all the meals we could have caught! We'd be eating like royalty every other day."

"I wouldn't quite call Magikarp 'royalty food', but in our situation, that's the closest we can get."

"Oh, would you rather eat Gorebyss fillet?" Alice grinned playfully, "Is that the bar you're setting?"

Flame laughed. "Now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind trying some."

Standing up on wobbly footing, he managed to jump back to the bridging rock without tumbling, claws sunk into the fish's skin out of paranoia. From there, it took one last hop for him to return on firm land.

Alice was struggling with getting her bag open, so he mindlessly did it in her stead, storing both fish inside, earning a nod of thanks from the Dragonair.

Two isn't enough for all of us, though, he thought, Certainly not enough for more than one meal…

His eyes wandered back to the bunch of dead fish floating away farther and farther downstream. Alice's own gaze followed his.

"Right. I almost forgot about our 'rivals'. They'll undoubtedly deduce our activities here. Here, let's go," she turned counter to the stream's flow, the water on her left.

"Okay, but…" Flame walked by her side, "There's only two fish. What about Gaius? I don't think he'd appreciate being excluded."

"Hey—we did all the hard work, we get to enjoy its fruits," she raised her snout, "Besides, remember this morning?"

Indeed, he remembered. Faced with the prospect of splitting their rations, the Grovyle had refused to share a crumb of his bread with cheese. That memory suddenly evaporated any worry for their team leader.

Among other topics running through his mind, he wondered whether the two had always held this opinion of near-disdain for each other. In fact, the details of how Team Phalanx came to exist interested him a great deal. If Alice was born in the tranquil South, why was she here, amidst poverty and famine? And Gaius!—not one mention of family or friends or past life. Right now, however, he would only be able to ask her. He bit the inner part of his lip as he mulled over the options. Perhaps she would not wish to disclose her past—take offense, even. He would need to word such question with extreme care.

"Um, Alice," he said, waiting for her attention to be drawn to him, "Would you mind if I … asked a bit about your past? I still don't know you or Gaius properly. B-but if it's too intimate to share, I understand. Heck, I'd gladly tell you my story, but … you know…" he drifted, nervousness stealing syllables from his mouth.

She stared at him with a tiny grain of apprehension, silent. After a few seconds, she gave him a half-nod. "I suppose you're right. We are teammates, after all. Ask me whatever you wish."

"Thanks. So … I was wondering, what brought you up here? You were born in Urbe, right?"

"Yes, that is correct. I've lived in Urbe nearly my entire life. Up until three years ago. Actually…" she brought her eyes around, "Not even Gaius knows this, but my family comes from the imperial court." she took an extra second of silence. "S-senators, to be precise."

His eyes dilated. "Woah, really? Th-that's incredible! Did you ever get to meet the emperor?"

"Well … sometimes. At official speeches or banquets. Never talked to him, of course."

Flame contemplated the information she'd just revealed. He pictured the Dragonair scurrying about an elegant banquet, the imperial gardens visible outside the window, surrounded by dignitaries and servants. Now that he entertained that thought, he could not imagine a more appropriate setting for her.

"I did not choose to leave Urbe. 'Tis still my home, after all. However, my family…" she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, "Ugh, it's complicated. I have no clue what to think, or what I did wrong. They detested the sight of me. It all went downhill after some time. At times, I wonder if I'll ever be able to return."

Flame immediately detected the notes of discomfort and bitterness intertwined in her voice, and decided to not press the matter any further.

"On that matter, I did some thinking earlier. With Aesernia destroyed, we might not have a job anymore. What if we look for a better life elsewhere? Nothing is forcing us to stay."

"I hadn't thought of that. It's definitely a possibility," a smile touched her snout, "How about we think this through once we have gathered enough food?"

Just as those words were uttered, a bush displaying pear-shaped berries (some ripe, some spoilt, others healthy-looking) presented itself inside a small ditch off the riverbank. Sunlight would soon vanish completely, and gathering food at night presented unnecessary dangers. The two of them continued to chat about any and all minutiae that came to mind, from the beauty of Urbe, ancient history, future ambitions and dreams, or just prodding fun at one another. Talking, at times, overshadowed the main task they were there to accomplish.

Eventually, whichever topic of discussion ceased to matter much, both simply content in the other's companionship.


Camp Horizon

The sun had long set by the time distant thunderclouds covered its nightly counterpart.

The plateau was an arid and barren place, where dun yellow bushes sat atop equally rusted soil, one of chunky complexion that glued to the legs. Some ways away it dropped off to a startling height, where darkness engorged what lay beyond.

Flame returned to his senses when the dense odour of smoke permeated his nostrils, infused with cooked fish. He stopped muddling his attention into nothingness and turned back to the group he'd been spending the night with. There were many of them, most mere officers, a few legionaries, all gathered round a large pyre to dine very much informally. Some engaged in near-hysterical laughter and droned on about immature sex jokes he did not understand, others quipped in every other bite, others yet—Alice and Gaius flanked him—made but the sound of chewing.

He ripped another chunk of flesh off the cooked Magikarp in his claws, gnawing eagerly at to leech off more of its salty juice. It was unlike anything he'd ever eaten before: the scales felt crispy beneath his teeth, hiding a layer of plentiful flesh. At some point, he became so lost in the meal that he unconsciously abandoned efforts to savour it slowly. It disappeared within a scant few minutes.

Seeing no common rubbish dump agreed on, he felt authorised to chuck the bones and inedible parts behind his back without so much as care. The sheer taste of this dinner left him licking his lips to taste its last traces. He now knew that fishing would become a semi-priority whenever searching for food in the future.

Overall, the outcome of their detour had been very fruitful. Their bags now contained enough Sentret and Deerling meat and berries and fruit to last them circa four days (to gather any more would have proved futile due to putrefaction). It certainly did feel alleviating not to have to worry about such basic needs for once—the privilege to focus on the bigger picture.

Out of sheer curiosity, he shifted his attention to the ongoing conversation around him and attempted to pick up stray sentences.

"That's what you call 'craziest experience'? I once had a Haxorus give me head."

"With those tusks touching down there? You've gotta be kidding!"

"Nah, their females have smaller tusks. Pretty good tongues, too."

"Small tusks? You mean like Ariel?"

Five pokémon or so burst into laughter. "Woah, now, she's a special case. If it weren't for her voice, I would have thought she was a guy."

Flame found himself snickering lightly at that. It's true, though. Almost called her 'sir' when she first addressed me.

A handful of sparks jumped out from the pyre, appearing to hit one nearby pokémon before fading away into invisible ash.

Disinterest took a hold of him. The fire and social atmosphere did feel welcoming, yes, but his eyelids had begun loosening of their own accord every so often. He got to his feet, turning to leave, and noticed Alice peering up from the corner of her eye. Gaius was too distracted talking to other officers.

"Tired. I'm going to bed," he mumbled to her with as few words as feasible.

Thus, while walking away from the group, he squeezed his mind to remember where exactly their assigned tent was. He remembered that it stood somewhere close to the plateau's edge, but…

Mid-step, he froze. His eyes had caught wind of a most improbable sight. Sitting alone outside a group of ragged tents was, of all things, a Charmeleon. Female, judging by its looks, sifting through her bag, fire-tipped tail swaying to and fro. Her scales were markedly more pale-hued than his—a delicate orange. It took some moments for him to fully realise what this entailed. The plan he'd concocted hours earlier rushed into his mind all at once.

She's just like me … this is the chance I've been waiting for! There must be a reason she's all the way up here. What if she's my sister?

Even the remote possibility of having found a lead roused his excitement to no end. He needed to extrapolate every useful minutia conceivable from that brain of hers.

Moving by sheer impetus rather than conscious thought, he moved within a few metres of her. Before he could protest to himself that it would become awkward and that he needed to word his question correctly, it was already too late to back out.

"Hey there," he sat cross-legged by her side.

"Oh, hi!" she smiled back with mild surprise, with none of the expected wariness, "It's so refreshing meeting a fellow Char out here."

Flame smiled back even wider, finding the timbre in her voice sweet—not unlike Alice's. "Same. I haven't seen one in … months, at the very least. How come I've never seen you around at Camp Tempest?"

"Big place, y'know," she shrugged, completely attentive, "I was starting to think I was the only Char for hundreds of kilometres. Finally, my ears can hear something other than that horrible accent they have up here. It gets maddening after a while."

Flame paused for a second, if only to gather his racing thoughts. To find an element of instantaneous connection certainly did bless his chances. But to ask the fatidical question outright would deprive him of crucial knowledge. One step at a time, he thought.

"Name's Flame. You?"

"Livia," a smile blossomed on her short snout.

"Livia … I like that name. Perhaps I have met you before. Where are you from?"

"My family owns the Imperial Navy dockyards in Agia Marina. We get by just fine—the only reason I'm here is to help my country."

He had the map of the Empire behind his eyelids. Rummaging through memory, he recalled such a settlement far along the southern coast, just off the Lipari Arcipelago. So far, every piece fit to form a plausible scenario. Riding the flow of the conversation would surely lend more details.

From so close, he could not help but take a moment to notice her 'features'. Her body was built just like his, only distinctly feminine: a less pronounced snout, shorter claws and tail, as well as a tantalisingly puffier upper chest.

Some part of him stirred in protest. Not necessarily that this act was morally distasteful in and of itself—some other message he was unable to decipher. He cast that thought aside.

"Wow, what are the chances? I come from that area as well. Ur—Urbe, to be exact. Arceus knows I miss that place…"

Livia turned to face him directly, her posture open and untense. "Same. Life up here's bloody depressing. Y'know, when you came up to me like that, for a moment I could have sworn it was my brother. You and him truly do look alike."

Now his interest peaked. A tingling of excitement washed upon him. There was a very realistic chance he was this Charmeleon's sibling—in which case, however, this whole situation (his occasional glances at her form) would abruptly become very creepy.

"Really? I'm going to assume that's a compliment, then," he chuckled, unconsciously mimicking her posture. "And, this brother of yours … have you heard from him recently? Just for curiosity."

Her gaze wandered over to the starless night sky. "Yes, actually. Just a week ago, he wrote me a letter."

Flame frowned. He felt his shoulders slump. All was not set in stone certainly: a letter would probably take weeks, perhaps months to be delivered. More than enough time for his hypothetical past self to disappear without a trace, considering he solely possessed memories of the past week. At the very least, knowing they probably did not share blood made those thoughts caressing his mind less weird.

Livia's smile faded as well. "Even while enjoying company, I'm unused to sharing personal details as much as this. Why are you so interested in me?"

He bit his tongue lightly. "Um … the main reason is that I need your help. For some time now, I've lost all contact with my family. They likely don't know where I am. Do you have any memories of hearing about a missing Charmeleon?"

Her gaze softened. "Oh, I see. Let me recall." she spun her gaze around, hanging in troubling silence for some time. "There's only a couple families of Chars back in Agia Marina, and I know them all very well. So, no, I have no information of use to you, unless it happened after I enrolled."

A small breath of defeat left him. It had been arguably the worst fate of all—not only did no grasp of a concrete lead to his past exist, but no previous hypothesis could be definitely scrapped, either. He forced those thoughts to the back of his mind.

"Don't worry about it. I appreciate it nonetheless. Maybe I'd feel a bit more disappointed if your voice weren't so soothing."

She giggled lightly. "Is that so? Why, thank you. In that case, I suppose you won't mind chatting some more."

Flame nodded courtly. "Would you prefer taking this conversation to my tent?"

The words had poured from his mouth spontaneously. Then, realisation struck him with the force of a slap across the face. Warmth rose into that very face, and his eyes suddenly jerked between her own and a nondescript point behind her.

"Listen, Flame…" she said slowly, paws cupped together, "I appreciate how sweet you're being, and you are kind of cute,"—he flushed redder—"but I already have a mate. I promised him we'd marry once I got back to Agia Marina."

"Oh."

Whenever he attempted to conjure more words, his mind seemed to shut down completely. Silence between them only stretched. To maintain a composed face was intolerable. It had been too early—far too early. He ought to have fraternised more beforehand!

Remaining still didn't seem like a desirable option, so he shuffled to his feet. "That's fine. D-don't worry about it. I'll … be heading to bed, now. Good luck."

She said something in goodbye, but he didn't quite catch it, for he had already moved away toward his own tent.

Well, that was … sloppy, at best. I tried, he sighed internally.

With his vision blurry from fatigue, he entered his team's tent, puzzled at this rotten feeling that had nestled firmly within his chest.


End of Chapter XI
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, back with a fresh review of Gaius' Magical Adventures in Alcoholism and Asshattery Rebirth. You’ll see some old material this time around, though there should still be enough fresh content to make things worth your while.

This time around I generally avoided pointing out suggestions and nitpicks this time around unless they went beyond the level of things I could point out via simple inline markup. Figured that it’d help streamline things a bit.

Alright, now that boilerplate is out of the way, time for the real attraction:

Chapter IX

The soft breeze felt cool on his scales.

When Flame finally regained consciousness at some point, he did not stir. Every muscle in his body sent confused signals of heat and cold, of aches and tiredness. Through his closed eyelids he could see something bright. For a few seconds, he cracked a gratified smile; it felt somewhat pleasant, almost as though he'd just laid down after a marathon.

Flame: “... Wait a minute, am I supposed to know what a ‘marathon’ is again?”
Alice: “I’m pretty sure that that’s the name of a pivotal battle in history.”
Gaius: “Wait, we have a ‘Marathon’ in our world? I thought that it was a sporting event.”
Alice: “I mean, the name of the sporting event comes from the- Oh never mind, we’re getting off topic here.”

Soon thereafter, Flame’s fatigue dissipated quickly, for piece by piece images entered his brain—his friends, a gloomy fortress, the ensuing struggle with the Scum. He remembered burning one of them particular Scum to a crisp, some bat injecting him with venom, then nothing.

His psyche hesitated [ ]. On one hand, it simply wished to rest and shuffle those thoughts aside. But at the same time simultaneously [a need to figure out where he was arose from within his chest.]

Also, what was that barely perceptible tickle trickling up his paw? His brow tensed in disgust—ants, those horrible blighters. He took the first movement in a while and sat up, much to the aching disagreement chagrin of his spine vertebral column. A spell of dizziness hit his head for a moment as he let the blood flow adjust.

Something about the bit in brackets bugs me. It might sound better dropping in something with the clauses flipped around along the lines of [a nagging feeling rose in his chest that he needed to figure out where he was.]

Also, wait a minute, but did Flame just never brush those ants crawling on him off?
803821849384583219.png


Flame cracked his eyes Eyes now open, his vision was bombarded with colours he'd started to miss. All around him spanned a grassy field sprawled all around him, just short of the slope overlooking the valley they had recently spent much time in. From their position atop lonely trees, a couple of Pidgey eyed him curiously.

[We were in the fortress. With the Scum, Flame recounted his time in the dungeon, This looks like outside...]

Something about Flame’s thought process feels a bit repetitive with the prior narration. It might make more sense to attack things more along the lines of Flame explicitly reminding himself of what happened and then wondering “how’d we get here?” One throwaway take on that would be something like:

[Right, we were in the fortress. With the Scum, Flame recounted his time in the dungeon, But this looks like outside… how on earth did we get out here?]

"Aaaaah, my bloody head..." someone groaned from nearby. A quick twist of his body revealed that it was belonged to Gaius; in fact, and the rest of his whole team was there with him.

"Oh, Flame, you're awake," Alice noted, sleep still heavy in her eyes still heavy with sleep, "Are you feeling okay? I remember you collapsing to the ground at one point—it had me worried to no end."

Flame allowed his muscles to relax. "Y-yeah. I'm okay now. How did we get here?"

[ ]


"Good question. I honestly have no clue,” she replied “The last thing I can recall is beating one of the last Scum still alive, then..."

[her face drew a blank.]

"I ... suppose I passed out, somehow?” she mused. “Even so, it would make no sense for us to be here. Any ideas, guys?"

[she appealed to the rest of the team, cocking her head sideways.] Neither Gaius nor Virgo had much to say, with one clutching his head, and the other mumbling something unintelligible.

This section is one that I think you’d benefit from expanding a bit with some added description and chopping up Alice’s line of dialogue a bit. I don’t have firm suggestions for all of them, but in general:

For the first bracketed section, I think just have Alice display some puzzled body language before she gives her “Good question” line.

For the second bracketed section, just expand the “her face drew a blank” into a sentence or two. For example [Alice’s mouth curled into a frown and she seemed to pause in thought for a moment, only to blink slowly as her face drew a blank.]

For the third, I think perhaps rephrase it and attach it straight to the last paragraph. Something along the lines of [She cocked her head sideways and posed her question to the rest of the team.] might do the trick.

Flame: "Wait, you guys passed out too? Seriously, how did we not get our throats cut while we were passed out? It'd take just one of the Scum to pull off if we were all incapacitated."
Alice: "That's... uh... actually also a really good question. What's the last thing we all remembered?"
Gaius: “Gah… can we just go with ‘a wizard did it’?”
Alice: “Hrmph, that’s hardly a satisfying explanation, Gaius. For us and the readers.”

"The Gengar," uttered Yvaine uttered, "It cast some sort of spell on the dungeon to flee. Couldn't kill it in time."

Gaius: "... Might've been for the best, honestly. If that ugly chucklehead hadn't cut and run before we passed out, we'd probably be pushing up daisies right now."
Alice: "I guess, but isn't it strange that the most dangerous Pokémon with those Scum would've just run away? And that none of the others managed to trick us by playing dead or hiding under one of their friends?"
Virgo: "I mean, Scum do retreat unlike Ferals, and there genuinely weren't many 'mons left standing from the last I remembered. If we didn't get them all aside from the Gengar, maybe they were just too shook up and ran for it."
Flame: "Yeah, but then why'd we wake up here instead of in that bloody mess in the dungeon? It's not like they'd have just drug us all the way back here in one piece."
- Blink moment -
Flame: "... Would they?"
- Gaius scoff -
Gaius: "Whoever made that comment about there not being a stupid question clearly never met you."

[ ]

"Hang on a moment. All this means..." a wide grin spread across Alice's face, as her voice shook with excitement. "We did it! We completed our mission! Even when facing the Scum, we triumphed!" her voice shook with excitement.

A spark of joy lit inside Flame him when he realised her words were true. [ ] Team Phalanx—the as humble and meager rags of a team they were, had cleared such a high-prestige assignment!

Alright, a couple more bracketed bits:

For the first one, I think you want to slip in a paragraph that basically has Alice have the gears turn in her head and have her body language show her get excited and happy.

For the second one, I think it might lean into how Alice’s words were true. For example [As daunting as the mission Ariel gave them had been, they came, they saw, they conquered.]

Virgo huffed, chest and puffed out his chest. "Guess you have us to thank for this. Those maggots were no problem to squash."

Flame: “Virgo, can you not right now?” >_>;
Virgo: “Hey, I’m just spitting facts, Flamey. You three would’ve keeled over multiple times in that castrum without our help and you know it.”

"B-but ... the Gengar," Yvaine drooped her ears, "It got away, along with those who teleported beforehand."

Alice raised her tail forth. "Hush. Ariel doesn't need to hear that. For all she knows, the barbarian encampment near Sperantia Nova no longer..."

Yvaine: “Need I remind you that based off the size of the encampment we came across, the majority of the Scum outside of the party we encountered escaped?” >_>;
Alice: “We… don’t need to tell Ariel that part.”
701630550720512120.png


[...] her voice froze. Her head jerked to some point in the nearby field, "... who is that?"

The moment Flame turned to the problem in question, it took but a second for him to recognise the shape. It was the Leafeon from the dungeon. There she lay, physique nearly unrecognisable between the charred fur and patches of grime and dirt soaking it. Of all questions queries buzzing in his head, Flame could not avoid feeling insulted more than anything—had he not killed that Scum in the depths of Castra Aeterna? Perhaps it was for the best, his psyche attempted to reason [; having blood on his hands did not exactly suit his tastes.]

Something about the bit in brackets doesn’t quite click for me given that Flame still killed the Crobat off. Maybe it might make sense to say something to the effect of [Part of him wasn’t comfortable knowing he had blood on his hands. At least with the Leafeon alive all along, he only had half as much on them as he thought.]

Flame: “Er… not sure if maiming another Pokémon is really that much of an improvement.”
Virgo: “Nah, you did good, Flamey.”
Flame: “(Okay, now I’m really getting doubts if you’re praising me.)”
401074476474957834.png


For a few moments, Team Phalanx hesitated to take the initiative, right up until the Leafeon jerked her head up in alarm. Gaius descended upon the fellow grass-type within a blur, holding her throat in a chokehold, his knee crushing her lungs and chest.

"You thought you could get away, didn't you?" Gaius spat with a tone that sent shivers down Flame's back, ignoring the writhes and yeeps below, "Bastards. You're all going to hell—you and the rest of your lot." [he let out a wry smile.]

I think the “he let out a wry smile” bit if you keep it ought to get yeeted into the middle part or else worked into the start of the next paragraph since it feels a little jarring in its present location.

That said, you might find it worth swapping that bit out for something out. Given how Gaius has openly compared Pokémon of the Leafeon’s ilk to demons later on in-story, something about a “wry smile” seems to lack the expected degree of schadenfreude and triumphalism I’d expect from him getting the better of a Pokémon that he associates very strongly with some early life traumas.

Flame: “Uh… Gaius?”
401074476474957834.png


Apparently deaf to his words, the Leafeon let out a noise halfway between a growl and a lament, and lit her tail lit up a bright green. Only it lay crushed underneath Gaius' foot. [The Grovyle only drew more blood from her throat.] Scum or not, Flame was beginning to feel genuinely frightened: it felt painfully obvious that Gaius was holding himself back from ripping her into [slabs of meat].

Alright, a couple bits in brackets this time around:

For the first one, you technically didn’t explicitly mention that Gaius didn’t put a Leaf Blade at the Leafeon’s throat yet. You should either drop that in here, or in the bit earlier where Gaius pins her.

For the second, something about “slabs of meat” feels a bit off. I’d suggest either playing up the punchy angle and going with something simple like “pieces” or the vivid angle and going for something like “bloody ribbons”, “strips of flesh”, etc.

Flame: "Arceus, Gaius, what the hell?"
Gaius: "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was 'Randomly Feel Sorry for the Barbarian Who Tried to Rip Your Throat Earlier' Day! Unless you're going to help me out here, shut your damn trap!"
Yvaine: "Look, just saying, Grovyle, she'll be more useful to us if there's something left to interrogate."

"I don't know how you managed to survive, but that's not a problem," he growled.

[turned to the rest of his team,]

"Didn't Ariel ask us to bring one Scum back alive?"

"Yeah, s-she did," [Flame spewed rapidly, knowing where this discussion was headed].

Alright, a couple more bits in brackets to get through.

For the first, it might make sense to explicitly mention Gaius managing to better subdue the Leafeon to the point of being able to look up at his teammates more directly. Since the way he was described pinning her doesn’t seem like it’d give him much freedom of movement.

For the second bracketed bit, I think it might make sense to imply where the discussion is headed even if it’s not explicitly stated. For example. [Flame spewed rapidly. His mind turned back to Gaius’ comment a while back about cutting the throats of Scum and hanging their body, and shivered a little knowing where this discussion was headed.]

Flame: “... She’s not getting hung alive from one of one of those poles you were talking about, is she?”
401074476474957834.png

Gaius: “Hrmph, hell if I know. I’m not exactly going to be losing much sleep over whatever Ariel decides to do with the little monster and neither should you.”

The team reached the gates of Aesernia came just as the sun reached the its apex of its celestial arch in the sky.

After hours of forced marching, covered in all kinds of filth, there could be no sweeter sight to behold. Flame watched looked on toward the impressive walls, [over which the very top of some structures peeked. The sight managed to evoke a merry feeling inside him.]

Gaius led the way up to the great lumber doors of the city gates. While the leader knocked, and then went through the formalities with whichever guard happened to be on duty, Flame spared a second to gaze at the Leafeon by his side. Their captive had kept silent throughout most of the voyage: after realising that growling and salivating did nothing except for earning her a smack in the head, she seemed to have accepted her fate.

He Flame began creating a mental list of all he knew about her kind. First of all, from what little information he'd siphoned off Gaius, it was unlikely the Scum could comprehend their language—their brains were far too crude for that, the Grass-type had said. Secondly, nobody really minded inflicting gratuitous pain upon her, a fact which simultaneously fascinated and alarmed Flame. Maybe he shouldn't have felt so bad in about her place fate, only he but part of him just couldn't help it. [ ] He was surprised Virgo didn't force-feed the Leafeon a blast seed just to see what would happen.

Alright, a couple more bracketed sections here for you keep in mind.

For the first, something about the arrangement of [over which the very top of some structures peeked. The sight managed to evoke a merry feeling inside him.] bugs me a bit. I think that it might make sense to reorder the clauses and condense things a bit, such as [and felt a warm, merry feeling swell in him at the sight of the very tops of some of Aesernia’s structures peeking over.] Probably multiple ways to slice that apple, though.

For the second, I think it might make sense to add a sentence or two roughly describing Virgo and Yvaine’s interactions with the Leafeon before going on about Flame half-expecting Virgo to feed her a Blast Seed. Since given their backgrounds, both of them have likely encountered Pokémon like this Leafeon on a recurring basis, and Yvaine has some… backstory that might get her to drop her professionalism a bit while dealing with ‘mons of her ilk.

Also as a reminder that if you don’t see Alice as the type to take out her frustrations on that Leafeon in a similar fashion as her teammates, you should probably make a note of how she did react to that if/when you get around to touching up this chapter. Since as it stands right now, the text implies Flame was the only odd duck out of the team.

Virgo: "Waaaaait a minute, not that I actually care about the Scum’s well-being, but wouldn’t it be a bad idea to feed her a Blast Seed?"
Flame: “Because she’d quite literally blow up in our faces?”
Virgo: “I was thinking more because Blast Seeds pack more of a punch when you bite down on them.”
Yvaine: “Pretty sure that’s a game mechanic this story doesn’t have, Virgo.”
Flame: “Yeah… they kinda struck me as behaving more like grenades from how they were described.”
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- Beat moment -
Alice: “... What on earth is a ‘grenade’?”
Virgo: “Beats me, though I guess I could’ve seen myself feeding the Scum a Blast Seed if they behaved differently. It’d have been funny to point her at the Grovyle and see how well he could tap-dance.”
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Gaius: "Oh shut up." >:(

His train of thought ground to a halt when he heard the sound of metal clacks, followed by the door opening to grant them passage. Team Phalanx made their way inside, taking care of explaining their 'addition' to the guards.

Not even fully inside, the figure of a certain Haxorus leaning on a nearby wall contemplating studying her claws became all too apparent. Yeesh, not a single bit of time to prepare psychologically, Flame thought.

When the five of them (plus prisoner) closed in on their lizard chief, Ariel jerked her head over, wearing a mask of mixed surprise and apathy.

"Oh, wow, you made it back. Only in a day, as well. Is it done?"

Alice stood tall and proud, smirking as she spoke. "Affirmative. Sperantia Nova can rest easy now."

Gaius: “Alice, you do realize that Sperantia Nova’s a charred, mostly-abandoned husk right now, right?” >_>;
Alice: “I mean, at least they won’t have to worry about further raids while they sort things out?”
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Visibly unimpressed by the Dragonair's answer, Ariel grunted, turning her questioning gaze to the legionary duo. Both Virgo and Yvaine nodded.

I see that Ariel agreed with my read there.
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Their commander's face twitched into further disgust while still remaining apathetic. "And who's miss 'nature' over here?"

Flame joined into his team's common smugness. "A Scum we decided to spare. Brought her back on your orders."

Ariel's pupils dilated, as though told they'd just visited the moon. "What? Are you—are you trying to mess with me? I swear, if this ends up like the last time with your Charmeleon friend..."

… Ariel does realize that it’s Flame who is that Charmeleon friend, right? :V

Also, part of me wonders if he logically should’ve reacted a bit or gotten uncomfortable in reaction to that, though. Since you did reveal in a very recent chapter that he didn’t exactly forget about getting passed off as a Scum, and was still bothered by it.

Flame: “I’m that Charmeleon friend! (God, how many times did you two try that gambit of yours?)” >.<
Alice: “(L-Look, it’s just recency bias from Ariel talking! We didn’t- er… well I definitely didn’t try that out on her beforehand!)” ._.;

Then Yvaine took a step forward. "Ma'am, I can assure you these officers are telling the truth. I myself helped in the capture."

Uttering no words, the Haxorus lowered her gaze—though never her head—while taking in her grip the Leafeon's immobile chin. The latter could only reply by seething venom from narrowing her eyes into a venomous glare, and baring her sharp teeth.

"Wow. Not even Team Reformity could bring one back," Ariel said in a novel tone of appreciation, "Nice work, officers. It's going to be quite a show. Guards!"

Two Bisharp manning the gates approached them. By the time Yvaine undid relaxed the Scum’s psionic restraints, the Scum she received the blunt side of a blade on the back of her skull. She and was knocked dead cold.

Flame followed the armour-clad soldiers with his head as they dragged their captive away; they laughed together and said they'd have fun with her during breaks, before wandering outside of hearing range.

Waaaait a minute. There’s actual armor Pokémon use in this setting? Or is the underlined just referring to Bisharp’s natural armor there?

Flame: "... Do I want to know what those guards are going to do with her?"
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Alice: "Probably not, no." ._.

"Oh, and your reward will be delivered to you later this afternoon. Dismissed."

At the words, a spark of pride lit in his chest—he could see the rest of his teammates reacting much the same way. Hearing his commander uttering words that didn't have some scornful double-meaning definitely sounded alien to his ears.

Ariel turned to leave. "Also, take a bath. You all smell like a bunch of proles."

Gaius: “(We’d do a better job at that if our barracks were more than a bunch of tents in a field, you know!)” >_>;

On that note, the Haxorus stomped away, leaving the five of them breathing in relief. He couldn't help but notice how grand and charming Aesernia looked from here.

Aren’t the five of them still literally in the gateway to Aesernia right now? Might want to add some description of them crossing over to the other end and seeing their surroundings a bit better.

"Well, it's been fun working with you," Virgo said proudly, "Never thought I'd find some civvies with a grain of competence. How about we stick around a little longer?"

Gaius took a moment to respond, exhaling a sigh. "I'm sorry, but no. We need a minute to rest at home camp."

Don't you even try, Flame thought, furrowing his brow. One entire mission spent by the side of those weirdos went well over his threshold for patience. To even imply that they should spend more time together sounded more like an affront than a friendly suggestion.

Gaius: “Gods, Flame. I get that we’re all tired, but what did those two do to spit in your wine?”
Flame: “Let’s see here, the Umbreon pulled me aside for this super creepy forced Aura reading, the Gabite won’t shut up about calling me Flamey or casually mocking me, and something about those two gives me the sense that they’d turn around and kill us in a heartbeat if they felt like it.” >_>;
Yvaine: “Correction. If things came to that, it wouldn’t be because we felt like it.”
Flame: “See what I mean?” >.<

"Oh, come on!" Virgo crossed his arms, "Flame, surely you're with me on this one? We could go around town and show you some fun, celebrate the arse-kicking we gave 'em."

Yvaine shook her head vigorously. "Don't, unless you wish to experience what syphilis feels like."

[ ]


"Geez, don't blow things out of proportion now. It's just a blister!"

Yvaine rolled her eyes. "Sure, keep telling yourself that..."

Might make sense to describe Virgo’s reaction to Yvaine a bit more before having him launch into his retort.

Alice: "... How does a land shark get syphilis?"
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Yvaine: "Virgo... gets around a lot."
Virgo: "I mean, if you're that worried about it, we can start you off on baby steps, Flamey. Those frescoes are free after all!"

Flame swapped gazes between the two [ ]. "No thanks. I have ... other things to do."

I think Flame’s body language might merit expanding a bit, essentially in the style of “Flame swapped gazes between the two [and then X]”

Virgo: "Seriously, Yvaine?! Why do you have to undercut every attempt I make to get the civvie to live a little?"
Yvaine: "I mean, you've been doing a fantastic job of that on your own so far, Virgo."
Flame: “(Also, even if you had a more wholesome idea for entertainment, I still wouldn’t trust it to not wind up with me being dead in a ditch.)” ._.

"Aww," Virgo cooed, frowning, "Another time?"

No answer came from Team Phalanx.

Gaius: “... Wait, why aren’t we saying something again?”
Flame: “Turn around a moment.”
- Gaius spots Alice glaring daggers at him and Flame -
Gaius: “... Right, though that still feels like more of a reason to give a flat ‘no’ than just not saying anything!” >_>;

Yvaine sent the three of them a courteous smile. "If you ever need anything, we will gladly help."

"Hopefully there will be no need," Alice bowed back, "Thanks for all you've done for us."

Flame: “Alice? Why would you leave the door open to them coming back like that?!” O_O;
Gaius: “Oh come off of it, Flame. Those two literally helped keep us alive on our mission. What do you think those two are that’s got you shedding your scales like this? Assassins?”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “I mean… the text did say they gave off those sort of vibes to me back in Chapter 5, so…”
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Alice: “Enough. Look, just stop thinking of those two for a bit and let’s just go about the town for a while, Flame. We just successfully completed a big mission, so let’s celebrate a bit!”

With all formalities over, Flame watched as the two legionaries got drifted farther and farther away, before his own group headed towards Camp Tempest. As he traversed the streets, he discovered a newfound appreciation for the town's features: sure, it smelt of urine and was dangerously overcrowded—but it was still his home, in a way.

Gaius: “Tch, surprised that you’re so attached to that dump when Camp Tempest is the place you crash at every night.”
Flame: “I mean, I’m usually thinking about stresses related to work and constantly being in the face of mortal danger at Camp Tempest while I’m not in Aesernia, so…”
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Plus, he wouldn't have to bear the presence of those two snobs for a while. The thought spawned a gleeful smirk on his face. Granted, Aesernia wasn't exactly a sprawling metropolis, so chances were he'd meet them again. But having his friends by his side lulled any brooding thoughts to rest.

Virgo: "How am I the snob? I'm not the one trying to be little Miss Chaste [Vestal] here!"
Flame: “Oi! You’re supposed to have left us already!” >_>;

"As much as they may have been of use, I'm glad it's just the three of us again," Flame commented, observing the impromptu market stalls nearby.

"Same. They started getting on my nerves after a while," Gaius said, "thinking they're the boss around here. Kinda hope Ariel stops pairing us with them on missions."

Flame: “Oh my god, that’s what bugged you about them?” >.<
- Gaius folds his arms -
Gaius: “I mean, yeah. I’m the team leader here, so getting bossed around on my own mission isn’t exactly my idea of a fun time.” >:|

Ariel nodded in agreement. "About that—don't you think we acted too [snobbish] in front of Ariel? She already hates our guts as it is."

"Honestly, to hell with her," Gaius grinned, looking both of them in the eye, "I'm proud of what we did. Let's just hope the payout was worth it."

Ariel: “I’m sorry, wanna repeat that again, Gaius?” >:(
Gaius: “That’s supposed to be ‘Alice nodded in agreement’! ‘Alice’! Y-You’re not supposed to be here with us right now!” O_O

Also, I’m not fully sure if “snobbish” is the word you want there, since that means “stuck-up” or “haughty”. I’m admittedly not sure what I’d suggest as a replacement that’d be more specific than a vanilla “hostile” though.

They turned a sharp corner, then followed the main road. There seemed to be some kind of commotion ahead. [ ]

"I mean, who else in Civil Protection can boast of having passed a B-rank job so easily?" Flame added to the pile.

Gaius looked up for a moment. "Probably some bigshot teams down south, but definitely nobody I've seen."

Oh? Surprised that Team Reformity that Ariel mentioned in passing earlier wouldn’t have fit the bill. Unless they’re one of the bigshot teams from the south that Gaius mentioned in passing.

Also for the bit in brackets, I think it might be worth communicating some sort of thing in passing that mentions how Team Phalanx doesn’t really pay it much mind just yet and continues chattering since they go straight back to their prior conversation without missing a beat. Alternatively, you could axe the mention of a commotion up ahead and focus on more normal scenery since the paragraph right after this block already serves as a transition into that “commotion” that gets mentioned in passing here.

Flame wanted to add something a further comment, only to notice there was a dense mass of pokémon blocking the entrance to Victory Square. The three of them stopped, staring bemusedly at the living barricade. Was there some public holiday he'd missed? With the overwhelming presence of taller creatures obstructing his vision, he couldn't quite tell. His teammates also mentioned that there being was no other way to Camp Tempest which didn't involve taking some ungodly contorted detour. The only option would be to make their way through the crowd, at least while there was still some breathing space remained to pass through.

Contradicting his normal instinct to gravitate to the outer edge of any kind of scrimmage gathering, Flame shoved, butted, and squirmed his way through the throng alongside his companions. Soon they reached a less densely-packed section of the crowd, from which they could better watch the centre of the square. An elevated wooden platform measuring double his height had been set up there, on top of which some scary-looking [ ] legionary droned on about traitorous Scum and the honour of the Empire... whatever that meant.

"For Mew's sake, another one?" Alice uttered dismally, "I thought they'd stopped..."

Miiiight wanna cast an explicit species for the legionary since it’s a throwaway detail that can help visualize the scene a bit better. I mean, when in doubt, it’s a chance to show off the Aesernian Strategic Bisharp Reserve in action.
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Flame: “Wait, what do you mean ‘another one’? Aren’t all these ‘mons here for some sort of festival?” ._.;
Gaius: “Er… for a certain definition of ‘some sort of festival’, sure.”

Before he could ask for further insight, a cordon of rock-type legionaries [split the crowd in two], and gradually pushed it apart to form a path of sorts to the platform. The speaker interrupted his monologue just in time for a pokémon to be dragged on stage—some kind of orange bipedal chicken, feathers ruffed and mixed with dirt and blood.

That sight [stimulated the crowd]. At the start there only had been a few boos and hisses, whereas at once everyone exploded in a frenzy of insults and profanities whizzing through the air like bullets.

Alice's face contorted in vague disgust, turning away. "Let's go. I have no desire to watch this."

[Flame found not a reason to disagree. It was painfully clear they were not tying the poor soul to a pole as a local tradition.]

Ah yes, crucifixio. ‘Lovely’ practice there, if certainly fitting for your setting. Though Flame’s technically wrong, those legionaries are tying that poor soul to the pole as part of a local tradition. It’s just one that won’t end well for that Combusken. :^)

Also a couple more bracketed bits that I feel are a touch open-ended:

For the first, something about the phrasing feels a bit dry. You might find [whipped the crowd into a growing fervor] or something along those lines to be fitting and lend itself better to the idea of the mob of spectators getting increasingly unruly.

For the second… you technically never mentioned that Combusken was getting tied down. One option is to slip in a mention in the paragraph right before Alice turns away in disgust. Another, more minimalistic one would would be to fluff out the existing paragraph along the lines of something as follows:

[Flame found not a reason to disagree. It was painfully clear the legionaries currently pinning the poor Combusken and wrapping up his last bindings to the pole weren’t doing so for the sake of a local festive tradition.]

Flame: "Gaius, whatever happened to cutting 'mons’ throats before hanging them from those poles?" ._.
Gaius: "They’ll get around to it eventually! … Probably. Depends on how much those legionaries hate the ‘mon.”
Alice: “I sure hope they do, since Victory Square’s always… unpleasant for the duration of these executions.”
Flame: “‘D-Duration’?! Are these pole hangings normally long and drawn-out or something?”
401074476474957834.png

Alice: “Er… define ‘long and drawn-out’.”
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Gaius: “Look, you two are the ones who want to duck offscreen before things get ugly, so are we going or not?"

When the three of them gained some distance from the square, Flame could feel the general uneasiness scenting the air. More and more people bumped into them heading in the opposite direction, probably towards Victory Square—to gawk at the [lynching], he figured. [ ]

"Be thankful we passed through when we did," Gaius said, "Any later and the whole damn square would have been packed with raging psychos."

[ Flame bit his lip, figuring he should have gotten over it by now. ]


"Is ... is this something that happens regularly?" Flame bit his lip, figuring he should have gotten over it by now.

Alright, some nitpicks. I’ll highlight one of the more normal markups this time since it was a matter of s / darn / damn , since Gaius consistently has been a bit ‘rougher’ as a character and had a fairly blue streak with his language in this story, so it admittedly felt a little weird to see him use a lighter stand-in for ‘damn’ there. If that was intentional, feel free to ignore.

Alright, onto the brackets:

Bracket one is a vocabulary nitpick. ‘Lynching’ as a word referring to an execution usually has firm undertones of it happening outside the confines of a legal system, so it generally has less vibes of legitimacy to it. As such, unless if Flame is very deliberately parsing what’s going on to the Combusken as being little better or more justified than a bunch of angry randos doing it, you probably want a vanilla ‘execution’ there.

Bracket two is a suggestion to slip in some body language or reaction for the rest of Team Phalanx. At the very least, it makes sense to show off Gaius for a sentence or two, since unlike the passing mentions of Alice being repulsed, it’s the first time the text is really giving insight into how he felt about the proceedings.

Bracket three is basically a suggestion to reshuffle the bit about Flame biting his lip and quieting down forward. Basically turn that into a paragraph where he feels uncomfortable but thinks that he shouldn’t mind it too much, only to remember that Alice mentioned ‘another one’ and make him wonder / prompt the question.

[Alice did not look pleased either.]

"A couple months back, they made you watch these things by law. Ariel says it's always good to remind proles who the enemy is," she sighed, curling her lip in disgust.

"Why?" Flame pressed on, eyes wandering all over, "Sure, they're Scum, but ... is all this really necessary?"

Technically that Combusken wasn’t Scum, and if the three had stuck around long enough to overhear him begging for mercy, that’d have given the game away pretty fast. Not that Flame knows that at that point in time.

Also, this bracket I feel is one of those things where you’d benefit from turning it into a paragraph expanding on Alice’s reaction a bit. Since even though she clearly isn’t a super fan of those proceedings, it’s something that she’d be highly unlikely to show her true feelings outside of body language for… reasons she elaborates on a couple paragraphs later.

[The Dragonair's reaction made him wish he could shove those words right back down his throat.

Alice's pupils dilated and she halted, frantically jerking her head round to make sure nobody had overheard.]

When she concluded that that was precisely the case nobody had overheard them, her eyes narrowed into a sharp glare that landed on him.

"Flame, you mustn't say such things in public!" she whispered hissed, "That—that is precisely what ends the sort of talk that gets you drug up onto that stage."

Okay, another one of the normal markup ones that I’m going to explicitly comment on again, but I opted for “hissed” over “whispered” since it has an agitated tone to it that a normal “whispered”. If you want to still emphasize she was keeping quiet, I’d do something like “she hissed, not daring to raise her voice above a whisper.”

For the bracketed bits, I think that you can actually collapse it into one paragraph that’s either the same length or slightly longer. One potential way that could look would be something like:

[Alice's pupils dilated and she halted, frantically jerking her head round to make sure nobody had overheard. At once, Flame wished that he could shove his words back into his mouth. He didn’t think a mere question would make her react like that.]

Flame: "Wait, hold up. So that Combusken might not even be Scum but some random Pokémon who got sick of seeing corpses out his window and complained about it?"
Alice: "Uh... I suppose that would be within the realm of possibility-" ._.;
Flame: "God, what is wrong with this town?" >.<

Still proud of myself for calling that the Combusken wasn’t Scum after all in my first readthrough based off that exchange.

Unsure what to say or do in response, Flame stood there, cringing internally. "O-oh. Uh ... sorry?"

"And who's going to report us, the proles?" Gaius crossed his arms, scoffing at her, "Come on, Alice, stop acting ridiculous."

Alice: “Gaius, you do realize that the Proles here are explicitly mentioned in the text as being desperate enough to jump others for bread loaves in like a chapter. I don’t think it’s a safe assumption that there wouldn’t be any willing to report us.”
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Gaius: “When Ariel would take our side if we accused them right back of being sympathizers? Hrmph, I’m not losing that much sleep over it.”
Flame: “Pretty sure that that’s violating all sorts of ethical standards for an organization that’s supposed to be around for public safety, but oookay then.” ._.;

Lowering her gaze, Alice scanned their surroundings once more before they started moving again.

"I apologise, perhaps I am just being slightly paranoid,” she sighed. “Simply put it, It’s just that I would rather not take the risk of a legionary overhearing us, lest we get branded as ... sympathisers."

"It's okay. That was stupid of me to ask," Flame shrugged off, wishing for this misunderstanding to wither away immediately. How was he supposed to know which thoughts one could or could not express openly?

... It had to have been that Leafeon Scum, surely. [No matter how hard of an effort he made, the guilt and pity wouldn't unhook from his mind.] [Yet those very eyes had witnessed Sperantia Nova's plight by their hands!]

Okay, new bracketed bits here:

For the first one, I think elaborate a bit on why Flame feels guilty/pity for the Scum. e.x. Something like the following might fit:

[No matter how hard of an effort he made, the guilt and pity he felt from their interactions wouldn't unhook from his mind. The way he’d scorched her half-to-death and left her in her pitiful state. The abuse she’d had heaped on her on their trek back to Aesernia. The sneers the guards had made about her. All of it made him feel… dirty.]

As for the second, something about the way the last sentence feels ambiguous in construction. I assume that it’s supposed to be saying something like [Yet his own eyes had witnessed Sperantia Nova’s destruction by their hands.] Depending on how much you expand the first bracket’s contents, you might want to split this bit off and similarly expand it by 1-2 sentences boiling down to “Why am I feeling this guilty? I saw what her buddies did to Sperantia Nova and for all I know, she personally contributed to it.”

Flame: "Wait, 'risk of a legionary overhearing us'? You mean like Virgo and Yvaine? Would we seriously get executed for publicly saying that we felt a little queasy about Pokémon getting killed in public in front of 'mons like them?"
Virgo: "Hey civvies, what's up?"
- Alice’s eyes shrink to pins and she hastily wraps around Flame to shut him up -
Alice: "Nothing! Nothing at all! Totally weren't talking about anything that would be remotely close to sympathizing!"
- Virgo side-eyes Flame as he flails from lack of breath, before sprouting a toothy smile -
Virgo: "You sly dog. Here I thought you were giving me the cold shoulder because you were all prim and proper. And here you're the bold type getting all frisky with a girl in public!"
Flame: "Gack! I... I what?"
- Alice blanches and has a mortified expression come over her face -
Alice: "I- Huh-? Ack! It's not what you think! There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this!"
Virgo: "I mean, yeah. I gathered that you all were kinda broke and were short on options for places to get intimate. Still would've expected you two to go for a field of wildflowers instead of some piss-smelling alley though."
Flame + Alice: "..." >///<
Gaius: "They were just getting a room. Come on, you two. Let's get going before you wind up saying anything else you’ll regret in front of the nice legionary, huh?"

Alice looked round briefly, visibly calmed, yet still wary to pause whenever someone walked within hearing range. "Don't worry about it. To answer your question, I just can't see the point—it doesn't help with defending our Empire, nor does it drive up recruitment numbers."

He nodded. Thoughts and images entered his mind, most of them concerning that same pokémon they'd brought back on their mission. One day or another, she would likely suffer the same fate. With time he would learn not to pay any heed; if for no other reason than his teammates did as such. With time, he would integrate, get accustomed to it all the ways of this land, as harsh as they sometime seemed.

Flame: “God, this is so not helping with those feelings of guilt I had earlier.”
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Gaius: “Alice, how on earth do you manage to recruit the biggest bleeding-heart this side of the Spearhead Mountains as our third recruit?” >.<
Alice: “Gaius, go easy on him! He’s having to essentially re-experience everything for the first time from scratch!” >_>;

Speaking of that... Flame mused to himself, just as an idea sprung up onto the forefront of his mind. The sky told him it would take but a few hours before the sun fully disappeared. [More than enough for his current intentions.]

"Guys, would you mind if I headed to the library for a bit?" Flame stopped, eyes scanning the rooftops for a certain white marble structure, "If I'm not mistaken, it should be ... somewhere nearby, right?"

"Oh, good idea," Alice commented, "Too bad you'd have to cross that bloodthirsty crowd again to get there."

[ ]


"... Oh. O-okay," his face fell into a deep frown, "That's a shame. I guess we can try another day."
Okay, two more open ended sections for you to consider here.

For the bit about [More than enough for his current intentions.], I think that it makes sense to be a bit more forward about what those intentions are. Something like [It was as good a chance as any to try and find out more about himself and the world around him, and he knew just the place to do it…] assuming that’s why he wanted to go back to the library.

For the second bracket, I think just describe Flame’s reaction and internal “nope nope nope nope” thought process after Alice’s line there. Since as of right now it only comes through at a surface level from his dialogue.

Alice: "Though if you do change your mind though, there it would give us a chance to finally read The Kingdom, the Republic, and the Empire-"
Flame: "Okay, now I definitely don’t want to go." >_>;
Gaius: "Yeah, and you'll need to dangle a better carrot than that brick of a history book to get me to agree to go along." >.<

Inwardly, he Flame sighed under his breath. There fate went again, obstructing his plans for the day. When would he get another chance to study with such a workload from Camp Tempest awaiting them?

Oh well, he thought, attempting to regain a smile, maybe it wasn't isn’t so bad. The three of them would probably find some other constructive activity to indulge in back at camp. Even then, he wasn’t exactly bothered at the idea of merely spending time with his friends did not exactly bother him either.

The road began to snake around the dwindling number of greasy residential buildings, following an upwards slope. On the side of the road, he spotted the same sign from his first day in Civil Protection, welcoming newcomers to Camp Tempest, home of Task Force Aegis.

Just as they entered the encampment's perimeter, Alice turned to face him, a thoughtful twinkle in her eyes.

"Hang on a second, Flame," Alice said, " . The library is might be basically impossible to reach right now, but ... a thought just sprung to mind,” Alice said. “Would you mind following me? There is one place we could go."

Sensing a spike in curiosity, Flame answered with a smile and nodded. Last time she'd brought him along, it was to gather much-needed knowledge about himself. Hopefully this time would prove just as fruitful. [ ]

"Whatever, do as you please," Gaius raised his shoulders in a shrug, then turned away, "I'll stay and wait for my reward. Just don't get lost."

Something about the last line from Gaius feels a bit disconnected from what’s going on between Flame and Alice. It might make sense to add a sentence or so in the bit with brackets basically having Flame turn to him expecting he’d join, only for him to turn away and blow them off to better tie Gaius into the scene and cue up his line of dialogue.

Flame: “... Please tell me you’re not going to sneak off to go drinking again.” >_>;
Gaius: “Oi, I’m not wading through the middle of a baying and screeching mob gawking at a public execution just to get a drink! I might like my booze, but I’ve got limits!
Flame: “Right, ‘limits’.”
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Not fifteen minutes from the array of disorganised tents that was the made up Camp Tempest’s barracks, the two of them Flame and Alice trudged on to an empty patch of land, just in sight of the base's water well.

Initially, Flame stood there bemusedly, not knowing where he was supposed to look. He noticed two other officers nearby: a dark, feather-donned weasel trading slashes with some overgrown mantis (admittedly, those with blades that made him feel uneasy for some reason). The grassier hilltop location of Camp Tempest suddenly gave way to a roughly rectangular patch of dirt, only a few stalks sprouting here and there. It was as though some spiky-bodied being had rolled there merrily for hours on end.

Actually, considering how Scyther was one of the species that Flame very clearly remembered after his amnesia, part of me wonders if Flame had some sort of traumatic experience with them in his pre-amnesiac life. Not that he does a whole lot better with them in his post-amnesiac life. It’s just one of those details I didn’t notice the first time around that stands out with a second glance.

"Come, let's wait for the arena to clear," Alice pointed him to a nearby file of neatly arranged rocks, each flattened on top, positioned as impromptu seating for spectators.

Flame welcomed her invite, laying his rear to rest on the cool stone. He watched the officers going at it, emitting grunts letting out louder than normal grunts with each dash. At first he had yet to fully process the implications of her words, when he did so seconds later after the sound of a sharp smack. Down in the pit, a blunt-sided blade to that the Weavile's cranium head added the missing piece to his puzzle.

He turned to the Dragonair, his brow furrowed in alarm. "Arena? This is an arena? Are you asking me to—"

"Yes, spar with you," her eyes betrayed excitement.

Flame: "Alice, if you're still embarrassed about what happened in that alley, we can talk it out!" ._.
Alice: "If anything, you should be letting me have this because of what happened there." >_>;
Flame: "B-But it wasn’t even canon!"
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For a moment—he held no clue as to why—Flame lapsed into silence. His lips twitched, opened quickly, then mashed together at once. He could not wrap his skull around putting one word after another.

"Why?" Flame asked earnestly, trying his best not to inject a tone of hostility towards such an idea.

Alice turned her head round to the side, resting it onto her coils. "It's been on my mind today, ever since that discussion we had on the road to the fortress." her eyes wandered up to the sky momentarily. "Or was that yesterday? Dungeons never fail to confuse me. Either way, I saw you fighting those Scum down there. In all honesty, you kicked their arses."

Exactly when a warm fuzzy feeling arose in his gut he did not know, but any words which stroked his wavering ego were deemed most welcome. Besides, he felt deserving of the compliment—although he still hadn't expected one so abrupt from her.

Flame: “... Though somehow I never saw you as the type to say ‘arses’. You’re usually such a prim and proper type.”
Alice: “I mean, I have been working with Gaius for a few years. Guess some of his vocabulary must be rubbing off onto me.”
- Alice shrugs -
Alice: “And honestly, they were Scum, it’s not the end of the world if I’m not at my most polite talking about them.”

"Really?" Flame asked rhetorically, leaning back on his paws, "Well, that ... means a lot to me. Thanks. But why exactly should the two of us spar?"

Alice hummed, pausing. "... You know what? Even I am not quite sure." she hesitated, eyes darting around. "Uh ... I think Gaius would start showing respect if you were to hold your own against either of us. Yeah, let's go with that."

Flame: “Alice, are you sure we can’t just talk the alley thing out-?”
Alice: “No, because it wasn’t canon and we need to talk about anything else right now.” >///<
- Alice looks at Flame insistently -
Alice: “All the more reason to focus on sparring right now, huh?”
Flame: “... I don’t like where this is going.”
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She totally made that up on the spot, Flame cracked an amused smile, Even so, she's right. The only way I'll ever earn his respect is by proving to him that I can make our team better. And for that, I need practice.

Meanwhile, the overgrown mantis dashed out of an ice shard's way, then ended the confrontation with a clean slash to its opponent. The latter fell to the dirt, groaning and moaning about the unfairness of it all.

"Guess so. But ... what if I hurt you? Are you absolutely positive this is safe?"

Alice: “With all due respect, Flame. But you couldn’t even use Flamethrower properly earlier this week. I’m sure I’ll survive somehow.”
Flame: “Alright, alright, I get it. You don’t need to be rude about it.” >:|

"We're dragons, Flame—our scales are the envy of every other pokémon. So yes, we should be fine," Alice said with a confident smile, "Unless you suddenly decide my life isn't worth much, of course."

Flame chuckled along, gradually laying his anxieties to rest. "What, you mean I can't rip your throat open? Pity."

Alice: "Uh... Flame, this is a sparring match, remember?" ._.;
Flame: "Alice, it was supposed to be a joke!" ._.
Alice: "Maybe let's joke about something else after we just got back from running a few dozen 'mons through earlier in the day?" >_>;

They watched as both officers left the arena, the weasel in particular walking with a mild limp, as its partner seemed impervious to any doubts thrown at the legitimacy of its victory.

"Guess it's our cue," Flame inhaled profoundly, before lifting himself from his seat. While he positioned himself on one end of the field, Alice drifted to the opposite side, with the sun kissing her back—and consequently his eyes. He found himself forced to squint his eyes a tad, even though, admittedly, the extra warmth felt quite pleasant on his scales.

Of course we had to choose the one time it's sunny in this stupid place, Flame thought. However, he decided not to voice his complaints. Real battlefield opponents in battle would grant him no privileges out of sheer compassion, thus his training should be no different.

If Alice were a bit more of a troll and had more friends in Task Force Aegis, I’d half-expect them to show up in the stands and reflect sunlight into Flame’s eyes to further mess with him given the direction of this setup.
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"You know, this reminds me of similar events they would hold in Urbe," Alice started, "My father made me watch once. They had these absolutely humongous amphitheatres, bustling with spectators on all sides," she drew an imaginary circle with her snout, "Only, the Scum in the pit wouldn't hold back. It was ... troubling, to say the least."

Oh hey, you did leave an out to bring that Leafeon back into the story if you felt like it. Or whatever’s left of her anyways. :V

Though I’m still eagerly awaiting the day that we get to see the flip-side to these anecdotes here, since just from the details mentioned in this story, there’s a lot that can be cobbled together that would create horror stories and narratives from another perspective that would make you go “you know what, it’s alright if that municipia burns, it deserved it”.

Flame: "Wait, who were fighting against the Scum in the amphitheaters?"
Alice: "Uh... Ferals, slaves, the occasional convict or two. I know they tried making Scum fight each other in the past, but I think they largely stopped doing that.”
Flame: “... (Not sure how I feel about knowing that that’s another potential thing that could happen to that Leafeon.) Er… and why’d they stop that again?”
Alice: “They kept quietly killing each other off without resistance, almost as if they were trying to spite the spectators. It reminds me of something I read from a history book once, I think some sort of anecdote related to the [Second Servile War]?"
Flame: "Just saying, exactly none of that is making me feel more at ease with this match right now." ._.;

As much as the story intrigued him, Flame's main concern was bracing himself psychologically for what was to come.

Alice blinked, as if she were too aware of his partial disinterest. "Oh. I apologise for ranting off there. Enough of that, now," she smirked, then bowed ceremoniously, "Let's begin."

Even after Flame's heartbeat spiked simultaneously with those words, the many voices in his head could not come to a consensus. It simply didn't feel right. Despite having just discussed the relatively few risks involved, a part of him stubbornly clung on to a sense of disgust at the mere thought of attacking his teammate and fr—

He never managed to finish that thought, what with the unexpected electric current slamming into his chest. Tiny Spinaraks trickled down his limbs, nested round his cranium skull, bit into his flesh with their toothy arcs. He fell to the ground as soon as the shock ended, only somewhat able to catch himself with his paws. Heat emanated out of his scales, as though he'd been cooked alive. A thin wire of smoke wafted from them even as the last twitches of electricity abandoned his body.

"Aaaugh..." Flame groaned through his teeth, breathing heavily, "What was that for?"

Surprised no description of feeling numb from the shock there. Since that’s a very real side effect of getting shocked by an electric current.

Flame: “Okay, suddenly I don’t feel bothered about hitting her anymore.” >_>;

"The fight has started, hasn't it?" Alice said matter-of-factly, almost puzzled by his question.

Oh, right, Flame mentally slapped himself for his idiocy as he rose back up.

This time round, he caught wind of Alice drawing her head aback to prepare a further attack. Crouching preemptively, he flung his body out of the way just as the bolt of electricity buzzed straight past him. [ ] A grunt escaped his mouth while regaining his composure—he made a mental note not to land on his shoulder again.

Just an FYI, but you actually don’t ever explicitly mention that Flame landed on his side after jumping out of the way, much less that he hit his shoulder or that it was painful. Might merit doing that to some extent in the bit in brackets.

Realising he was trapping himself on the defensive, Flame exploited a lull in the Dragonair's long-range attacks to counter with one of his own, quickly spewing a sizable jet of fire from his maw. He hadn't quite planned prepared any forward-thinking strategy—way ahead of himself, such an impulsive being as himself—yet, in a brief moment of clarity, an idea intruded upon his thoughts, for the flames had not quite fanned.

No preparation was required for it. He simply held back his arms and began to charge. There would be no doubt she expected such a move—he would fail in moments, they both knew—but so long as he showed spirit of initiative, that he did not merely follow their shadows out of desperation, some parasite, could it be so terrible if he lost? Not a week had passed since Team Phalanx expanded!

The fire enveloped him, coated in his own element. That ought to excite his energies, he hoped. Claws drawn, he leapt off the ground, exited the plume of fire and—

Another jet of flames greeted him, this travelling in the other direction, tainted a draconic blue. It was unavoidable; his face felt the brunt of the breath, each tongue burrowing in between his scales, so compressed it quite nearly pushed him backwards.

Flame: “... Ow.”
Alice: “To be fair, you literally walked right into that one, Flame. :V

He didn't feel himself impacting the ground, quite so much as his body emitting a sizzling noise that disgusted him profoundly. Had his orange scales not endowed him with a prodigious resistance to heat, his skin would likely have melted off at once. (A and left him a pile of cooked flesh!)

Flame: "Wait, what would've happened if you aimed for my eyes?" o_o;
Alice: "Well, I didn't because we're sparring. Don't worry about it too much, alright?"
Flame: “That’s the exact opposite of what you should be telling me if you don’t want me to worry!”
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Even through his pained groans, he knew there was no time to mope. Against all signals in his body, he dug his feet into the ground, curled his fists and—ah! Now Alice stood over him, her tail orb glowing a faint light. For a brief moment, he noticed her hesitate, biting her lip. No, he didn't want pity. If he was going to fail right then and there, it would end like they'd agreed to.

Alice must have sensed his unspoken message, for her expression hardened, and she drew back her tail. He understood her intentions at once. Faster than his mind could process, he mustered up whatever embers left in him and directed them all towards his opponent.

She lashed out, and a blinding pain seemed to rip through his back, like a whip cracking open his skin.

There were white spots in his vision. Flame felt himself knocked about, presumably rolling back from the knockback. Yet his last-ditch flamethrower had scored a direct hit: he heard Alice let out a cry, then backed off as she flinched her lower body away.

Guess that’s an object lesson in being careful what you wish for, huh?
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It was then that he realised his attacks were leaving behind a trail of cinders, scorching the earth whenever contact was made. And so it clicked. If Alice wished to steer clear of those searing patches of dirt, he'd make the entire battlefield burn—for was not fire the only element by his side?

Pure adrenaline pumped inside his blood vessels. Surmounting Pushing away the pain shacklinges paining his limbs, Flame crouched on all fours. He could feel, underneath his tongue, a sore and rough mouth, decrying the recent abuse received by such blistering temperatures. Yet he smiled on, intoxicated by this new sensation—one he'd briefly felt whilst fighting the Scum.

His opponent must have been feeling the same way. Furrowing her brow, she began writhing her coils about to throw his aim off, countering with an ever-increasing barrage of lightning bolts.

Yet Flame was not quite aiming at her; rather, he directed each stream close to the ground, then forced his stomach to labour further and torch the area behind her retreat as well.

- Meanwhile up in the stands, a familiar duo happen to be spectating and totally not doing anything shifty -
Virgo: “So… what base does this count as getting to for those two?”
Yvaine: “Virgo, stop being such a pervert and just observe the battle!” >_>;

Seeing her breathing space diminish and her lightning attacks become less effective, Alice slithered backwards as the soil became too uncomfortably hot for even her draconic scales to bear. Eventually she exited the sparring field to evade his onslaught—something she didn't seem to take notice of, what with the dozen different emotions going through her face right then. Unperturbed by her own hyperventilating, she drew back and illuminated the orb situated under her neck, a sphere of blue energy gathering before her maw.

That was the opening Flame sought. It was In one spontaneous motion , his body dashed across the little space left between them, into the outbound grass, and tackled the Dragonair with force. As she gasped, the water pulse slipped from her control; and it fired off to the side harmlessly. Quickly, he enwrapped her snout, wrestling as he vied for control. Alice thrashed violently, flipping over and jerking erratically to shake him off. When that visibly did not work, she growled in irritation, now using her tail to try to unhinge him—only now his paw grabbed her neck orb.

The moment his claws wrapped round it, Alice ceased her thrashing. She lay paralysed. No, not that—she was trembling, eyes fixated on him while her breathing grew tenfold.

>dat reaction from Alice

Given some very strong… implications regarding a certain character quirk of Alice’s that gets hinted at throughout the story, I actually wonder if her neck orb has anything to do with it. If she’d somehow gotten it injured in the past and that’s why she’s having this sort of reaction to having it grabbed.

Also, I have to wonder how much of that frenzy from Flame is just straight battlelust versus suppressed feelings about the earlier part of the story given that more recent chapters have revealed that even if Flame bottled them up for a time, those didn’t exactly go anywhere.

- Meanwhile back in the stands -
Virgo: “Alright, that had to have qualified as making it to second ba-”
Yvaine: “Virgo. Shut. Up. Already.” >_>;

Flame felt a pulse of guilt wash over him, as though he'd violated her personal space. Not even he had expected such belligerence to arise in his body. Against his friend, no less! Even right now, as the hostility between them all but evaporated, he was still keeping her pinned, head against the grass, pressing down on her mid-body with a knee.

It feels really warm though, he took notice, glancing at the smooth orb in his claws.

In mere seconds, he realised how awkwardness and how sheerly impolite he was being by prolonging that position they were in. As a mere formality, he quickly let her neck orb go, bringing a claw to her throat before he poked her scales there.

"Dead," he said with a sheepish grin.

Alice: “Flame. Get. Off. Of. Me!” >_<
Flame: “... Right, hurrying that along now.” ._.;

With that, he quickly shifted off of her, and sat down. Which quickly changed into lying on the bare grass. Now that the endorphins had worn off, all kinds of pain and dull aches started to surface, starting with the fresh tail-mark on his outer thigh. That was ignoring the sizzling noise some patches of his skin still made upon contact.

Flame: “I should probably be a bit more concerned about how healthy all of this is.”
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He turned to Alice, eager to pour out a tiny bit of smugness, and ended up tensing at the sight of her troubled expression. Her eyes were downcast, yet bitter, as if furious at the grass. Had he struck her too violently? But she seemed just fine, he thought.

"Alice? Are ... are you okay?" he asked, biting his lip, "Look, I'm sorry for—"

All of a sudden she shook her head, as if to break out of her trance. Those pristine eyes rose to meet his momentarily, as she straightened her expression into a more friendly facade.

"Sorry? Why on earth are you sorry? You've won, for Mew's sake!" she shot back, forcing a playful grin, "Didn't I tell you not to use the word sorry with me again?"

Flame: “You do realize that even the narration is saying that that smile’s blatantly forced, right?” ._.
Alice: “What, a forced smile, me? No, not at all! I’m just… very… surprised by your win, that’s all!”
Flame: “Look, whatever you put us up to to work out your frustrations over this, can it be something that won’t risk mutual life and limb?”
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"Yeah, but seeing you like that makes me uneasy..." Flame softened his voice. He wasn't quite sure how to react. Why was she acting so strangely? This was it, he thought; he'd broken some other moral code he had no clue of, probably by touching that orb of hers in battle, which gave him enough momentum to tumble over the line of moral acceptability.

Alice returned to glaring holes into the green stalks, exhaling a sigh. "If anything, I should be the one to apologise. There's no reason for me to start acting like a cub. It's just that..." she avoided meeting his gaze, "Damn it, I knew I should have used that water pulse earlier. They're just so hard to aim..."

Flame: “Uh… are those orbs important to Dragonair like you? Since from the way you’re reacting, I’m… kinda getting the sense that I did something really inappropriate.” ._.;
Alice: “Not at all! Nothing creepy at all about grabbing onto a sensitive body part while in the thick of battle. You wouldn’t have noticed.”
Flame: “O… kay? I guess it’s probably best if we drop this topic, huh?”
- Meanwhile in the distance -
Virgo: “Way to go, Flamey! If you’d kept going with that Dragonair chick, I think you could’ve scored-!”
Yvaine: “Virgo! We’re supposed to be observing them silently!
Alice + Flame: “...” >///<
Alice: “Talk about pouring salt in a wound there.” >_>;
Flame: “I’m just gonna pretend those two weirdos aren’t there and be very thankful none of this is canon.” >.<

Flame picked up on the tone vesselled by her voice. A heaviness now weighed inside his chest as he lay exhausted on the grass. A voice in his mind—surely the more arrogant side—felt justified to curse at such twisted irony: in a moment he should have sprouted elation from all pores been elated, and enjoying his hard-earned victory—Alice, such elegant warrior!— over Alice, the first emotion he felt was one of guilt.

"Well, you p-packed one hell of a punch," Flame wheezed earnestly, cringing slightly from the various stings, "I didn't think a fire type could suffer from heat this much."

Smiling softly, he playfully struck her side, eliciting a pained yelp from his teammate.

"Ow, stop it, that—that hurts!" she snickered back, "Scales or not, standing on cinders burns. Did—did you do that on purpose?"

"Somewhat," Flame breathed in deeply, enjoying the feeling of peace, "The idea just came to me."

I’m actually a bit curious as to if that clever party trick of scorching the ground is significant to Flame somehow as a hint to his background or something of the ilk. Since I actually never remember anyone else thinking of doing that in this story, including legionaries who could’ve otherwise made really good use of making the ground too hot for their opponents to stand on.

Also, you totally need to have him bring that out again at some point in the future. Especially if he ever gets a power upgrade beyond being a Charmeleon.

- Beat moment -
Alice: “... Wait, but how? Even most legionaries don’t think of doing something like that, and you did.
Flame: “I… dunno actually. Maybe it was just a spark of inspiration?”
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Alice managed a clumsy nod, gazing distantly in his direction. "Wow. I ... to be perfectly honest, I did not expect you would win. O-of course, that's not meant to imply anything. I guess I panicked near the end there, let my guard down."

Flame: “Preeetty sure you were implying stuff before we were fighting, just saying.” >_>;
Alice: “Flame, th-that wasn’t canon!” >.<

"N-no worries. I have no clue what happened either," he shifted on his side, gaze lost into the sky.

Maybe I do have it in me... he thought, the achievement still not fully synced into his brain. After all, his mind attempted to reason, there could have been a thousand and one factors in play: fatigue, bruises from their earlier expedition, foul play on his part, or...

A thought chilled his senses. Could she have feigned defeat just to appease his self-confidence?

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That’s one really thoroughly acted pretend defeat if so, just saying, Flame.

Also, given how much Flame puts himself down and debases himself in his internal thought processes in the earlier parts of the story, I have to wonder how much of that is a carryover from the sort of life he had prior to his memory loss. Given the hints that have come up of what his life was like at the time, I’m not convinced that this doormat behavior here came from a vacuum, and it certainly gives some very sad undertones to it if there is indeed a connection between the two.

But no, Alice was not someone so malicious at heart. Besides, he'd seen her heartfelt enthusiasm to challenge him, the effort she put in every movement or attack, the veiled sourness now in her eyes. That last detail still held his mouth shut. It must have been a form of psychosis, to read so thoroughly into every tiny detail. Could a pokémon not simply feel disappointed after suffering defeat?

Flame: "Alice, are you sure you're alright from this sparring?"
Alice: "I'm sure! Honest! Why next time, I'll just need to not hold back! That's all!"
Flame: "Uhm... yeah, I'll take a raincheck on that for the next few days." ._.;

"Oh, for the love of Mew," she squeezed her eyes together, pressing her nuzzle against her coils, "I'm an absolute dimwit—I forgot we consumed our last berries at the fortress. We don't have any right now."

"Yes we do," Flame rebutted with a smirk, awaiting her reaction.

Alice stared at him with a deadpan expression, prodding him to continue.

Alice: “... Did you find them in a bush on the way back? Admittedly I wasn’t paying that close of attention with everything going on with the Leafeon.”
Flame: “Even better, actually…”

"Remember that legionary, Virgo?" he went on, crossing his arms, "I stole some from him. Hid them in Gaius' bag."

"You ... did?"

A nod followed on his part. He felt his cheeks flaring. Ever since losing his own bag to the dungeon, he'd been meaning to make up for the supplies inside, although not quite saying it out loud. Those two didn't look like they'd miss a few berries, anyway.

Alice blinked a few times, lips parted as she held her breath. "Flame, normally I would loathe stealing from a colleague, but that was genius," she conceded.

I… actually completely forgot that Flame lost his bag right before he blacked out fighting the Scum party. It might make sense to remind the reader of that detail in at least one or two other points in this chapter, especially in that one scene when they’re coming to on the grass outside.

Alice: “Also, Virgo’s kinda a creep, so I’m not exactly going to lose sleep if he’s shy a few berries.” >_>;
- Gaius frowns -
Gaius: "... Don't those guys kill 'mons they catch stealing from each other in their camps? Why the hell would you steal from him, and more importantly, why would you dump it in my bag?!"
Flame: "I mean, you steal from those 'proles' all the time, so-"
Gaius: "Virgo isn't a prole, you dense skink! Gods, if this comes back to bite me, I'll run you through myself!"
- Flame freezes a moment -
Flame: “Uh… w-wait a minute, actually, wasn’t Virgo right-?”
401074476474957834.png

- Flame looks back up at the stands and sees them empty -
Flame: “Oh thank god, they’re gone. Talk about your close calls.”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “Uh… it is a good thing they’re not still here right now, right?” ._.;

"What the hell happened to you two? Got caught in a stampede?" [Gaius alternated his gaze between them, sitting with his legs crossed.]

Flame barely even paid attention. He clamped his paw onto the bluish berry, letting its juices drip on his other arm. After having helped Alice with her own sores—for she possessed no paws—he hoped this single berry would prove enough to let him sleep tonight.

"No, we never left Camp Tempest. Alice wanted to spar with me," Flame explained, turning his eyes to the Grovyle. Ever since darkness ensued outside their tent, his tail carried the burden of illuminating both his wounds and his teammates.

Alright, so there’s a bit in brackets this time around with a few ways to tackle it. The lazy way of doing it is to just turn it into something like: [Gaius said. The Grovyle alternated his gaze between them, sitting with his legs crossed.]

Alternatively, you could split the existing line into its own paragraph and then add another sentence giving more detail as to Gaius’ expression and state of mind.

Flame: “Boy, I didn’t realize we were going at it this hard.” ._.;
Alice: “Flame, on account of all the times Virgo’s embarrassed us today, can you phrase our post-battle scrapes a bit differently?” >///<;

"Wait, seriously?" Gaius raised his eyebrows, slowly developing as a grin slowly spread over his face.

Alice raised her neck up high. "Yes, seriously. Doing something 'productive', as you always say. What about you?"

The Grovyle stretched his arms out, lips pursed. "Eh, I had a cozy nap. Nothing exciting. Well, except for this."

With that, he lifted a small sack from his bedside and dropped it in the middle of the tent. As it hit the ground, clangs of metallic objects rubbing against one another reached Flame's ears.

Alice seemed to spring to attention all of a sudden, her jaws parted, frozen mid-breath. "Wait, is that...?"

Gaius nodded. "A messenger brought it here—said it was from Ariel."

Flame: “Okay, so how much was there before you went drinking, Gaius-?” -_-;
Gaius: “Oh for gods’ sakes, do you have to be such a damp towel, Flame? This is supposed to be something we’re excited about!” >.<

"Wow. It looks kind of ... heavy," Flame commented, pressing his claws round the soft fabric.

"Damn right it does," Gaius seized the sack at once, "Flame, would you please make some light?"

Flame halted for a second, his brow creased in bewilderment. What happened, Gaius? You actually said 'please' for once.

Flame: “Huh, maybe he hasn’t hit the bar yet with this pay.”
Gaius: “Flame, I do things other than drink all the time, you know!” >:|
Alice: “(Constantly ranting about the South in varying states of sobriety isn’t exactly a dramatic upgrade.)” >_>;

Overlooking that detail, he pinched a spot near the tip of his tail, and brought it in closer. Each of them leaned their heads forward as Gaius undid the rope knotted round the bag's mouth and turned it over. Slowly the bag collapsed into a flat veil, revealing its hidden contents.

A collective gasp escaped their mouths. There, before their very eyes, sat a small stack of greyish coins. Flame's eyes counted a dozen, possibly more, gleaming of orange as his fire's reflection danced across their surface.

His teammates looked about ready to faint. It took roughly ten seconds of continuous staring before a word was spoken.

"Now, this is a what I call a payout!" Gaius' smirk grew ever wider, "Next time Ariel comes complaining about our team's performance, she can get bent."

Gaius: “Look at that gleam! These things look like they were just minted! No signs of clipping, or sweating, or plugging…”
Flame: “I’m sorry, what do all of those terms mean again?”
Alice: “They’re all different ways of debasing or counterfeiting coins. Times are lean, so you have to keep an eye open for ‘mons trying to swindle you.”
Flame: “But Ariel’s our boss. She wouldn’t seriously try to swindle us out of pay-”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “Okay, nevermind it’s Ariel. But yeah, she obviously didn’t swindle us here.” >_>;

"... How much is this?" Flame spewed out, mouth agape.

He took one of the coins in his claws. It was more oval than rounded in shape, ever so corroded, sporting the rough drawing of some sort of big-muzzled creature with antennae sprouting from its head.

Okay, I take it back. Maybe those coins were sweated after all.
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"Quick, count them! How much? How much?" Alice hurried breathlessly.

Flame deduced that the task of counting their reward had fallen on his shoulders. Both his teammates were awaiting his verdict. He squinted his eyes to see better. The characters stamped looked nothing like [regular numbers], but, thankfully, he remembered memorising what that 'M' meant a thousand while studying Oldspeak numerals at the library.

"Uh, let's see..." Flame took a deep breath, "Two, four, six, eight..." he mumbled, isolating each coin with a claw so as to not count anything twice.

Waaaaait a minute. Was it ever described what “regular numbers” looked like in this setting? Since for all we know “Oldspeak numerals” could’ve been retained as their numbering system. If not, one easy fix would cbe to slip in something like “regular numbers he’d seen on signage around Aesernia”.

Also, you probably want to be explicit about spelling out the meaning of that coin stamped ‘mille’ there. It’s not that widely known of a factoid, after all. :V

"Sixteen. All in all, it should be..." he tapped his chin in thought, "Fifty-thousand poké, I think."

"Goodness gracious," Alice wheezed, audibly incredulous of at her own words, "I haven't seen so many coins all at once in years. How many weeks worth of supplies can they afford buy us? If we land more of these jobs, in a year we may even have the money to buy a flat. Our very own team base!"

Flame: "... Wait a minute, didn't you say that 12,000 Poké was about a week's worth of money for us?"
Alice: "Yes, and this is about a month's worth."
Flame: "... So then how much is a 'flat' anyways?"
Gaius: "Depends what you want. If you can deal with an attic apartment of some bug-infested insula, I think we could make rent for a month with this and maybe even have a little leftover."
Alice: "You'd want one in the level under the attic, actually. Attic apartments tend to be bid up more by flying Pokémon."
Flame: "Wait, so how many more of these jobs do we need to do? Since Virgo and Yvaine kinda saved our butts (... probably, not fully sure there) and I still don't understand how we got out of things at the end."
701630550720512120.png

Alice: "Er... I'm sure we can work things out. After all, we've got a month's worth of breathing room!"
Flame: "Not with the way Gaius goes through wine, we won't." -_-;

Gaius chuckled, not attempting to hold back his amusement. "And then what? Share it with two families of dirty proles and getting so we can have the pleasure of to paying taxes on it?"

"Geez, Gaius, I was making a suggestion!" [Alice shot back with a growl,] "Shut it with your sarcasm, just this once. I actually feel like we accomplished something—not just for survival's sake."

[Flame felt the need to chime in.]

"Well, I think it would be a good idea to keep scavenging food whenever possible. Just to be safe."

I think that the two bits in brackets there probably make sense to expand a bit. For the first, I think give some more deets as to Alice’s body language or the like. For the second, it might make sense to have Flame react a bit more to seeing Alice get snippy at Gaius raining on her parade before speaking up.

"You're right. At least until winterfall. Not tomorrow, though," Alice added, a smirk crawling up her face, "Tomorrow, we are going to have a darn good quality meal. If they still exist in this town..."

Flame felt a certain desire rise up in his stomach. The taste of stale bread and ripe fruit had numbed his taste buds for far too long. besides After the gauntlet they’d had to endure for the past week, surely they deserved to treat themselves to some kind of self-assigned reward.

"Fine then," Gaius said, "I know of a few stands at the market square where Imperial Army officers buy their food from. There's bound to be something tasty there."

[ ] Just as it looked like everybody would utter their goodnight, and Flame shifted lazily in his straw bed, he noticed Gaius gazing towards him.

Something about the last paragraph feels like it’s missing a transition or something. Since things go from the team talking about their plans for eating something that doesn’t involve dumpster diving for once straight to “looks like everyone’s ready to say goodnight”. Probably merits throwing in a sentence or two going from food talk to there.

As he flipped on his back to make himself comfortable, his team leader spoke.

"Flame."

That time, Gaius’ voice carried a hint of discomfort, as if finding it hard to convey actual the words he wanted to say. Flame froze. He did not respond right away, and, instead, rushed to the conclusion that Gaius had something important to tell him.

Was this it? Was he going to be kicked out?

I'm over-thinking this, just keep it cool, Flame shook those silly fears out of his head, hoping it was nothing serious.

"Yes, Gaius?"

Flame: “This… uh… isn’t something that you’d like to say after a good night’s rest to clear your head?”
701630550720512120.png


The Grovyle bit his lip, mulling over his words, then let out a sigh. "I must congratulate you for Good job with the way you fighting well fought back in the dungeon. It... was actually pretty good. Maybe I judged you too quickly on that after our first mission together."

Just saying, Gaius’ words probably sound a bit more natural if they’re less formal. “I must congratulate you” feels a lot more like an Alice-ism than something I could imagine Gaius saying without being deliberately mocking. :V

Flame knew not whether to feel honoured or pompous haughty. All he knew was that such words were praise was so completely unexpected coming from the Grovyle that a couple of seconds were necessary to let everything sink in.

"O-oh. Really?" he stammered, quickly conjuring what to say, "Thanks. I'm still sorry for the whole ordeal in the bar."

Gaius nodded, but said nothing further.

Flame: “Oh thank god, he’s finally letting that go-”
701630550720512120.png

Gaius: “You know, if you want me to let it go, you can just not talk about it further.” >:|

A warm fuzzy feeling interfered with his thoughts. His team leader, the same one who had endlessly scorned his incompetence and threatened to kick him out, had actually complimented his performance. It wasn't quite an apology, but surely that's what he meant! For the first time, as he looked at his Dragonair and Grovyle companions, he felt real kinship. These pokémon he shared a home with felt in no way didn’t feel like strangers to him at allas if he might as well have known them for years.

[ ]


"By the way, why did you need to drown my tail flame back in the dungeon?" Flame asked, the thought popping up in his mind, "It ... didn't feel very pleasant."

[Gaius crossed his arms.]

"Don't go too far over your head, now,” the Grovyle harrumphed. “The Rhyperior would have seen your light through the fog."

Some more bracketed sections where I feel that more description would probably benefit the chapter.

For the first one, it probably makes sense to put in a “hey wait a minute” paragraph since you’re going from “boy, it’s great being around you guys” to “... hey wait a minute, you soaked my tail. That hurt.” very quickly in the current text.

For the second, I think move Gaius’ small blurb there up and expand it into its own paragraph. Since his reaction would probably catch Flame a bit off-guard at first given that Flame’s in “we’re totally friends now” mode and then Gaius is just flatly unapologetic about putting him through a very painful and life-threatening situation.

Flame: “Wow, and you called me a damp rag earlier? Couldn’t you have just hidden my fire by cupping a paw over it or something.” >_>;
Gaius: “Hey, I’ve heard stories about guys who put their hands in fire. I like being able to use both of mine properly, thank you very much!”

For now, anyways. Enjoy it while it lasts, Gaius.

After a few minutes' conversation to decide what mission they would do upon sunrise, they decided to take up whatever would remained after the initial rush for the good-paying assignments. Then, everybody uttered their goodnights, one by one they began to drift off to sleep. Before Flame knew it, Gaius was already snoring soundly, while Alice was curled up cutely in her own bed, showing no signs of being awake.

And so he was left alone, alone with his thoughts.

[Only then did he notice just how much his body demanded rest. A heaviness weighed on his chest]. After trekking back kilometres to Aesernia, plus sparring against Alice, not even berry juice could lull the ache in his muscles. He held his breath for a few moments, his tail flame shrinking in intensity. It was a trick he'd discovered just the night before. As much as he enjoyed being bathed in his fire's warmth, the light would oftentimes end up impeding interfering with his sleep.

Something about the start of the last paragraph feels like it could be reflowed to be smoother. Maybe it’s the ordering of the clauses? Since I think [Only then did Flame notice the heaviness weighing on his chest and just how much his body was demanding rest.] communicates the same as the bracketed bit, but pulls it off in a much more natural-sounding way.

Gaius: "And why don't you just use an eyepatch?"
Flame: "Because until today, we were rooting through dumpsters for our food? How could I justify getting one of those?"
Gaius: "Oh I dunno, the same way you got that peach?"
- Flame frown -
Flame: "Yeah, no. I'll stick to this party trick."

Now that he gradually felt more relaxed, the events of his team's latest mission buzzed through his head: Sperantia Nova, that eerie ghost creature he saw, countless hours of trekking, then finally seeing the Scum with his own eyes. So much had happened within such a short time frame!

Flame clutched his head with his claws, emitting letting out a loud sigh. He listened. Now voices came from another tent, masculine, laughing like idiots and singing about some roses in a far-away town. The [musicless melody] seemed to synchronise with his tail's quiet crackling.

Yet it almost felt natural, he mused, looking at this straw bed and red-linen tent.

I get what you’re going for, but “musicless melody” is technically an oxymoron since something with melody is inherently music. I would personally s / “musicless” / “a capella” or s / “musicless” / “uninstrumented” to better capture the intent of “singing without accompanying music”

He still wondered, still, if he'd ever truly get used to all this. He figured he ought to have adapted by now, yet something felt off. It always went back to one topic. Something that constantly weighed on his mind, whether he realised it or not.

The question rehearsed repeated through his head once more.

What now?

With no concrete memory of how his life used to be, what path could possibly lay open to him? How could he be sure he'd left nothing behind—a family, a lover, a home?

It's all so ... convoluted. I need answers, yet I hear nothing.

It had long become clear to him that no supernatural deity would suddenly descend from heaven, and, out of sheer pity, solve his vexations at once out of sheer pity. He only had himself to count on.

Flame: “... Why am I suddenly getting the feeling that I’m massively tempting fate right now?” .-.

For some reason, he smiled candidly. You know what? It's not so bad—maybe it doesn't even matter who I used to be. Here, I feel like I have a purpose.

As of right now, Team Phalanx represented everything he had: his teammates had aided him and given him a home in a time of utmost need. And (if their still-warming compliments still warmed him) and his previous performance were anything to go by, it seemed he was here to stay, if his previous performance was anything to go by. Nothing felt more right than to dedicate himself wholly to the team for a while.

youre_serious_futurama.gif


I mean, not that this isn’t touching, but let’s get real Flame. There’s some massive elephants still in the room with regard to your team dynamic right now.

Besides, such lifestyle would not necessarily preclude his search for answers. Perhaps one of these days, the papers would unearth an article concerning a kidnapped Charmeleon. Other than that, what other methods could he employ? Sure, there was that Leafeon Scum they'd captured whilst on duty, and Alice had suggested they may have been implicated in his situation, but ... did it even speak his language?

Maybe it was silly of him to even worry. [Flame observed his own breath.]

Ah, I'll think about it tomorrow. Too tired...

For this bit, I think you’re best off collapsing the second and third paragraphs into one. As for the ‘observing his own breath’ bit, it might merit to expand that a tad given that the story’s revealed later on to be set in October, so the weather’s getting increasingly chilly and there’s a moment where the chilly weather becomes extremely plot-important to Team Phalanx. Might make sense to mention or else hint at it in passing here.

Will-O-Wisp torches cast an ebbing glow on a Haxorus as she stopped before a set of richly-decorated double doors. Eyes half-closed, she held back a yawn, noticing that she faintly smelt of pollen after passing through her garden.

Not a second afterwards, the doors creaked open at once, the stronger interior lighting casting a breach in the patio's state of penumbra.

Ariel entered her villa, blinking her eyes a couple of times to adjust. Holding the door open was one of her servants—a Gardevoir, bowing, face parallel to the ground.

"Greetings, mistress Ariel," the servant said in her soft-spoken voice.

The Haxorus barely emitted a grunt in acknowledgement. She hadn't the time to bother with these such simpletons, her eyes were already set on the stairway leading to her quarters. Ah, yes. A comfortable mattress was all her body craved for right now.

Yeesh, remind me to never take a job under Ariel. Not that that Gardevoir had much of a choice.

"Mistress?" the Gardevoir repeated, hands cupped before her in respect.

Ariel clenched her paws into fists. If she had the energy, she would have showed [those insistent fools] what respect meant.

"What?"

The servant seemed to flinch ever so slightly at the sharpness in her tone, then regained her composure. "We have a guest; they wish to speak with you."

"[Tell him to get lost], then," Ariel flicked her wrist, making her way past the rich patterns and mosaics adorning the walls.

Okay, two quick nitpicks.

First off [those insistent fools] doesn’t quite work there since only the Gardevoir has been established to be in the scene. I would either slip in some mention that the Flygon head servant is also present given that he is described as being present right after this, or else make this singular.

Secondly, there’s some faulty parallelism between ‘they’ and ‘him’. I’m not fully sure what route is better there since this is referring to Sycorax who is established as genderless, but things should come down firmly on one pronoun or the other.

She saw the Gardevoir whisper something to the Flygon beside her, the head servant, both donning a worried look.

"You better have prepared that wine," Ariel muttered in a hiss, unsure and uncaring whether the two heard or not.

Ariel: “And it’d better be sweet wine, too! I like my pre-bed passum!

Letting her heavy tail slide on the floor out of pure laziness, she ascended to her quarters, passing by a multitude of guest rooms and side corridors. Her eyes became heavier with each step she took. More than once she nearly bumped into a framed painting, or a paned window, during moments of drowsiness.

… How is that tail drag not chafing her tail scales like crazy? ^^;

Once she safely reached her room, she closed the door behind her, breathing a content sigh. She smirked at the sight of that her mattress—a leather cover stuffed with Taillow feathers. The thought of taking a hot bath in her thermae only just entered her mind. [It fancied her a lot], but that would mean travelling to the other side of the compound. Oh well, she would settle with her bed for tonight.

Now, where was that wine...?

I think that the [It fancied her a lot] might sound a bit better more as [It certainly struck her fancy], but that’s just a stylistic nitpick on my part.

A raspy, metallic voice came from nowhere, giving the Haxorus such a start that she reeled for a few moments and nearly broke down her door by slamming her back against it. Claws drawn, she inhaled a shaky breath. when her gaze fell upon a figure to her bedside.

A purple, armour-clad pokémon stood there, a red glow emitting from its eyes. The large cannon weighing on the thing's back made her swallow her panic; she knew that creature all too well.

"Sycorax?" Ariel panted, gritting her teeth as she lowered her claws, "What—what the fuck are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Urbe? And why in my room?"

Ariel: “Seriously, hasn’t Emperor Adrian ever told you that you’re not supposed to poke around in a girl’s room? I feel so violated right now!” >_<
Sycorax: “Well then, perhaps you should’ve given me the audience I asked your servants to relay to you.”

The Genesect did not move, if not for its eyes. "Quiet. I have journeyed far to speak to you." it strode forward, stopping face-to-face with her. "His Majesty has shown concern over your recent behaviour. Tell me, what was the meaning behind that letter?

She cringed at the Genesect's mechanical voice. "Exactly what I wrote in it. With the highest regards, I think His Majesty should leave the administration of Task Force Aegis to me. The corps are doing a fine job as it is."

Sycorax:
youre_serious_futurama.gif

Ariel: “... Did you seriously come all the way out from Urbe to mock me to my face?” >.<

Sycorax's glowing eyes bored a hole into her defences. "Need I remind you that imperial law technically does not allow females to hold such high-rank office? Thank our emperor's benevolence for that. Or would you rather betray his trust?"

Ariel crossed her arms, and grunted. "It's not like you're a male, either."

I’m still curious as to what the in-universe story is behind why this is a thing, not that it’s not fitting for a very Roman-themed setting. Since Urbe still see fit to put females out in combat including as outright legionnaires instead of strictly keeping them within less prestigious auxillia.

Since if Pokémon remotely track their animal counterparts in Urbe’s world, there's a ton of bird and reptilian Pokémon that would have reason to find this law to be flatly absurd thanks to their average females being larger than their average males. Ironically enough, their aquilae would be among them, since their males aren’t called ‘tiercels’ because they’re a third bigger than their female counterparts… :V

I mean, if that hunch I had about Our Benefactors having had contact and influence over Urbe even prior to the start of the Empire, I suppose I could think of a few potential origins for that quirk. Though admittedly that’s going out on quite the limb at this point in time.

Ariel bit her lip. Her superior had caught her totally unprepared, and her brain could not work well under a shroud of weariness. "Again, why is 'Sycorax the Godsgiven' here? Aren't you supposed to think up some grand plan to rout the barbarian Scum from our border?"

The Genesect nodded. "Yes. That is why I need your utmost cooperation. If this town were to fall, the enemy would spill onto the Aesernian Plains, and the path to Portus and to Urbe would lay open."

"And...?"

Ariel: "Just saying, if things are really looking that bad, you could send more than one legion to play babysitter right now." >_>;

"And, that is another item of discussion which brought me here. Civil Protection has recently been suffering a loss in recruitment figures, has it not?"

Ariel crossed her arms again. She came here to sleep, not to be subjected to interrogation!

"It's better that way,” she insisted. “Fewer idiots burdening eating up my resources. Already got enough of those."

"The emperor has just approved a new mandatory conscription law," Sycorax droned on matter-of-factly, ignoring her, "Every able-bodied citizen from adolescence onward shall be enrolled in Civil Protection for a period of three months. Male and female. If any turn out to have a tiny grain of competence, you are ordered to transfer them to the Imperial Army, so they can serve in the front lines."

And then all of the Empire became a giant Prinny game.

Ariel: "And just what am I supposed to do when half of these conscripts won't last a damn week let alone three whole months?!" >_<;

Ariel just stood there, jaw shut, mulling over what she'd just heard. "So I'm supposed to take these potential failures and just accept them? What about local trade? I bet my arse most of those merchants in Victory Square are no more than kids. What happens when they're forced to take up arms?"

Sycorax did the closest gesture to a shrug its armoured body allowed. "Harsh times call for harsh measures. That is for you to figure out."

Well that’s certainly one way to reduce overcrowding in Aesernia. Can’t imagine that’s good for long-term social stability, though.

The Genesect walked outside her room, into a corridor, stopping before an open balcony window. Those bright, red eyes looked in her direction again. "I shall remain in Aesernia for a few more days, to consult local officers on the war effort. Do not disappoint His Majesty."

With that, the insectoid creature bent its knees, and leapt forth into the darkness.

Everything that happened afterwards was a blur: all she remembered was herself cursing, before she collapsed onto her bed.

Ariel: “... And those dunces didn’t set out my passum. Fantastic.” >_>;

And time to take a gander at things that are yet to come:

"…And so the gods came, from beyond the stars, to assist us petty creatures in our ascension to greatness. The Crown embraced Her divine role in leading this Empire in Their name, under Their aegis. And with it, the Republic was no more."

Excerpt from the book "Our Benefactors", written by Imperial Scribe Eli Kadabra.

Reminder that you retconned the author of Our Benefactors to ‘Antoninus Kadabra’ there.

Flame: "Wait, what?! Alice, did you know about this?!"
Alice: "Guh... whuh? Flame, it's the middle of the night. We just went to sleep in the story."
Flame: "Look, Alice, there's this book in the Library that I skipped over back in Chapter 4. I really need to look at it right now. We can even go through that history book you like afterwards if you want!"
- Alice blinks and scowls -
Alice: "Flame, the Library's closed at this hour. Just get some rest. We'll continue the story another time, alright?"
- Alice flops over asleep, as Flame curls up -
Flame: "... I just hope this doesn't slip my mind. The entire Empire owing its existence to these creepy 'Benefactors'? Just how is that not going to be something that'll come back to haunt us?"

Aaaand that’s a wrap! Lotsa odds and ends that added up as suggestions @Shadow of Antioch , but I had fun revisiting this chapter, and there were definitely some details that I didn’t notice the first time around. Kudos, and I’ll be looking forward to Rebirth catching up with your main release from here. ^^
 
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Chapter XII: Upheaval

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XII: Upheaval


"Although local Imperial Army units may attempt to deploy you on combat missions, you are to maintain caution and prioritise your current mission. Remember: as a Praetorian Guard operative, your life is more valuable than that of your fellow comrades. Your prime directive is to identify and apprehend target Icarus by any means necessary.

If the Ascension Programme is not brought to fruition, even the barbarians conquering us all would constitute a brighter future."


-Praetorian Guard instruction leaflet, created by Supreme General Sycorax.


Camp Horizon

The air seemed to kiss one's skin.

And it was there, in the morning breeze, that Team Phalanx waited, awake ever since the sun's rebirth.

They all knew today would entail an expedition into Portus proper, but few knew exactly when or how. It had taken the field commander upwards of two hours to settle on a plan of action with his subordinates, then even more precious time to divide the sizeable expeditionary force into manageable groups.

Meanwhile, the three of them could do nothing further than loiter about. With their stomachs satisfied, and the sun shining high above, they waited and waited inside their tent to avoid the chaos that resulted from having an encampment of hundreds. Voices travelling with the wind seemed to suggest that the field commander and his counterpart from the Imperial Army were on the verge of thrashing objects at one another. In fact, it was not so difficult to make out garbled shouts in the distance.

Flame found that he did not quite mind resting, nor the feeling of privacy that was beginning to develop within his team. Most surprisingly, Gaius appeared to have shed the veiled animosity so common of the Grovyle—even granting him occasional glances and non-derisory chatter.

Then, finally, an overbearing voice called on the camp to assemble. Team Phalanx rushed out of their tents to join the pokémon gathered near the centre, where their superiors' tents stood. Soon a line formed, centred on something they couldn't quite see. Immediately they noticed that it comprised solely of Civil Protection members, while legionaries sat and absorbed the incoherent shouts of their captain some ways off to the side, unperturbed.

Team Phalanx automatically slid into the line, even though they did not know what it was for. At least it seemed to flow smoothly. Once enough pokémon had moved to allow a view, they saw a discoloured wooden box, its lid absent, containing a small pile of rounded, almost coin-like objects. Officers only seemed to maintain an orderly line under the duresse of their field commander's stare.

"One per team!" the Flygon barked, "Grab more, and I'll hack your arms off personally!"

Eventually, Flame was the one to lean into the box and snatch one of the objects into his claws. He took great care to preserve all of his limbs, and wandered off to a more tranquil section of the camp alongside his teammates.

"What on earth is this thing?" he asked aloud, twisting the rust-coloured badge upon which a heraldic eagle was carved, alongside the letters laid in a semicircular fashion.

Alice brought her head closer, eyes wide. "Flame, this—this is a communications badge! They are imbued with a psychic link to a receiving pokémon; I believe it simulates telepathy. One can communicate freely with the receiver and receive instantaneous updates if necessary."

He looked at the badge in his claws again, marvelled but uncertain how it would function. Did the operator's voice enter one's head much like psychic-types were too fond of doing?

"Gimme that," Gaius snatched the badge away, twisting it in his own claws and examining every curve and incision. "I've heard of these before. I thought only squad leaders in the Imperial Army had access to these things. Seems weird that a bunch of pompous twats just hand 'em to us. How do they even work?"

Such mystery was soon dispelled, as an unnaturally calm male voice streamed from the object, very much physical in nature.

"To all who are present on this channel," the voice went, accentuating every word, "I will now list off each Civil Protection team who has been assigned to me. Please specify your number and species upon hearing your team's name. Team Salient."

Flame anticipated a second voice to spawn, but nothing followed.

Weird. The link must be set up in a way that the operator can talk with everyone, but each badge holder can only interact with the operator…

"Acknowledged. Team Dakota. Team Dakota, do you copy? Speak into the badge."

The voice continued to gradually list off team after team, with small, noiseless pauses in between for what he assumed were other officers' responses.

"Fascinating," Alice muttered whilst the male voice continued, "It seems psychic messages are somehow broadcast in actual sound waves. Our job would become so much easier if we could keep these…"

Gaius huffed, though underneath a vague smile. "Tough chance. Let's be thankful they even let us touch legionary equipment at all. This ought to prove fun."

"Guys, do you … think he can hear us?" Flame whispered to his teammates.

"I can," the male voice said matter-of-factly. "Team Phalanx."

Gaius exchanged uncomfortable stares with the two of them, before bringing the circular object to his mouth. "Uh … three members. One Grovyle, one Charmeleon, and one Dragonair."

"Copy that. All units, from now on my callsign will be 'Archangel'. I shall oversee search and rescue operations for your group. Estimated time of departure: imminent. Any questions?"

Flame brought his mouth close to the badge in Gaius' paws. "Um, yes. This is Team Phalanx. When we talk…" Flame waited a moment to word his question carefully. "Is every single word we say transmitted?"

"The psychic link is triggered via bodily aura. If you wish for privacy, don't touch the badge. Next."

Upon hearing that, Gaius swiftly pinned the object onto his bag, from where it continued blaring the calm, almost unsettling voice of their supervisor. Officers and legionaries alike were beginning to depart down a narrow pathway leaving the plateau.

"... No, Team Radiance," Archangel droned on through the badge, "I have more than enough brains to handle the dozen or so of you. Next."

A small, barely noticeable tremor shook the earth beneath their feet for perhaps thirty seconds, and ended just as abruptly as it started.


Portus Outskirts

Only a small garrison had been left to guard Camp Horizon, amongst them the field commander and virtually all officials of rank higher than lieutenant. For the rest of the expeditionary force, it took nearly an hour's walk to safely descend from the plateau, and even longer to cross the rolling grasslands that lay between it and the city—nothing short of a wasteland endemic with bushes and weeds, all dyed a withering yellow. The sun was by now directly above their heads.

Team Phalanx trudged close to one another, alongside other Civil Protection teams that had been assigned to their dispatcher. Flame brought his head in a full semi-circle in order to estimate the number of pokémon present in that field alone. They comprised a single mass ready to swallow whole any hypothetical opposition. At least, he hoped so.

The legionary detachment, some ways ahead, was easily discernable by the orderly dual column formation in which they travelled; instead, most officers seemed content to form up in groups of four or five, with little regard for order or uniformity. He nearly failed to notice a flyer squadron swooping in overhead. Scouting ahead, perhaps. But with such flat terrain and murky visibility, he doubted aerial reconnaissance would offer any significant advantage.

For hours, he felt that the scenery did not move at all.

It was a gradual, nearly imperceptible transition. Amidst the shrubbery appeared a faded dirt path connected to multiple others, which in turn led onto a large, paved road. Lone wooden structures rose every now and again, not a single one intact; all thoroughly searched by prior scouting parties. Now Flame noticed multiple elements of the expeditionary force branch away onto alternative paths and toward the city, slowly but surely thinning out their frightening numbers. Only a handful of dozens of pokémon were still behind them.

The doubt of where to go or whom to follow implanted itself in his head, before a voice from his team's communications device promptly put it down.

"All units, this is Archangel. Your orders are to follow the Via Magistra and sweep western Portus. From now onward, this channel is reserved for important communications; if you find survivors, or come under attack, I will try my best to mobilise assistance. Keep your devices within hearing range. Archangel out."

Flame mulled over those orders in his own head, whilst hopping over the countless gashes that ran all along the paved road. Alice and Gaius seemed to do the same. They collectively asked other teams alongside them whether anybody had familiarity with Portus' layout, but all shook their heads in negative. Apparently, nobody in command had even thought of issuing a map. Perhaps there were none.

At the very least, a roadside sign was benevolent enough to point them in the right direction. It hung on an iron pole, reading:

VIA MAGISTRA – PORTUS

SI TU ES URBIS AMICUS, ES GRATUS.

IF YOU ARE A FRIEND OF URBE, YOU ARE WELCOME.


Team Phalanx walked the last stretch of road and beheld the first structures of Portus. The outskirts, if they could be called so, lay in a catastrophic state. Out of the roughly dozen buildings immediately within sight, perhaps four of them were recognisable—of the rest remained nothing other than an amorphous pile of debris.

The three of them halted in unison to swallow the scale of the destruction. Behind them, few officers stopped, few officers murmured, most continued in silence.

Flame exchanged looks with his teammates. Mere words seemed too inadequate to utter. Thus, they attempted to catch up with the officers who'd surpassed them, only to discover that not ten blocks farther the Via Magistra ended abruptly. Or, rather, he was nearly certain that in a time past it continued for some distance, were it not for the rubble now overflowing from nearby gutted houses, gathered in a mound as tall as the roofs themselves.

Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be nothing more than an amalgamation of cement, bricks, metal wires, and wooden beams.

With no other path ahead, they scanned their surroundings meticulously. There was but a sign of life in the entire area. They seemed to be alone now, save for four rock-like officers making their way down a side alley. As soon as they disappeared as well, Alice's voice startled him out of the hypnotic trance the lifeless cityscape had drawn him into.

"Mew, Aesernia looks like paradise compared to this place…" Alice said. "Where do we even begin?"

Flame took a moment to fully register their surroundings. "Those other teams will probably search this area first. No use staying here. Maybe we should move ahead, don't you think?

Gaius nodded, then looked at the debris blocking the way forward. Upon closer inspection He put a foot on the mound of rubble to test if it would crumble away under his weight. It didn't. "This looks climbable. I'd rather not have others snooping around."

Upon hearing the word, Alice's eyes immediately shot wide. "Climb? Why would we need to climb? Surely there must be an alternative path."

"They told us to keep following the Via Magistra, right? It's the quickest way. Besides, I have a few ideas."

With that, Flame grabbed onto a fairly large hunk of concrete with his paws and helped himself up with the rest of his body. Small bits of brick crumbled away under his feet in a fashion akin to sand, but it was certainly feasible. Stopping momentarily to test his stability, he reached out for another large, flat slab laying diagonally, trying to ignore the plaster dust that stuck to his toes. He was now close to the top, when he noticed that Alice was struggling to climb up due to her serpentine form.

"Hey, do you need to be…"

The word 'carried' had already formed on his lips, but he suppressed it the moment he realised how demeaning that offer would have sounded.

But Alice had understood nonetheless. Wordless, she shook her head, assumed a serious expression, and slowly but surely slithered forth.

"I … didn't mean it in a bad way," Flame said, unsure whether to apologise.

"I know," she said simply. Her voice betrayed lingering bitterness, but thankfully not directed at him in particular.

He decided to drop the subject at once, wary of just how derisory it must have felt to point out her physical disadvantages. All he hoped was for this discussion to quickly slip out of her mind. Perhaps the labour they'd soon have to invest would do just that.

Within a minute they were all standing on top of the pile of rubble as tall as the two-storey building to their side. From here, one could see the inside of a house whose gutted walls they presumably stood on. He could recognise pieces of furniture in the rooms—standing amongst a mangle of metal poles and chunks of bricks, arranged in otherwise normal fashion, as though anything could further accentuate the ghastly lack of life in Portus.

Also visible was the continuation of the Via Magistra, which continued visibly for some distance after one descended from this pile.

"Think we should look in there for survivors?" Flame asked, unsettled just how far away their echo reverberated.

The Grovyle only gave the gutted building a momentary glance. "We should—in theory. If the roof weren't in danger of collapsing any second now."

"And we can't possibly dig through this rubble on our own. If those nutheads brought Tyranitars, then sure, but we should focus on the buildings we can actually do something about."

Flame found the answer inherently displeasing, but true nevertheless.

Alice squeezed her eyes shut for a second. "I hate nothing more than when you are right."

The rubble settled into a downwards slope leading onto the street. As it went on, the Via Magistra widened gradually until it became a full-fledged boulevard not unlike the one in Aesernia, only more green. Square patches of earth were carved in the stone, spaced with mathematical precision, upon which rose rows of palm trees. Their large branches swayed ever so slightly with the breeze, a welcome sign of life amongst the reigning stillness.

"Hold on," Alice stopped, and squinted her eyes toward one of the countless ruins. "I think I see something."

Flame turned his head in the same direction. "Where?"

"Yes, I'm certain now! Inside that insula, ground floor. Waste no time!"

It took but a moment for the three of them to rush across the street and clear some minor rubble in order to access the ground floor of what used to be an apartment complex. Here, the roof had already caved in, alongside most of the external walls. Thus, it was sufficiently safe to enter.

The former room was hardly imaginable now as a closed space, open as it was now, but there was no time for further scrutiny. Underneath a large concrete slab there poked a lightning-shaped appendage. Nearby bricks were marred with dry blood, and Flame breathed in a stench that he'd never felt before.

"Here. Someone's trapped underneath," Alice said, "Help me dig!"

The three of them worked to remove as much smaller wreckage as possible (though in actuality him and Gaius bore most of the strain, for Alice's body did not favour manual deftness), until one of the poor thing's arms became visible. It was short and stubby, lacking individual digits, but most importantly very, very white. But the Charmeleon-sized slab still crushed the pokémon like a tombstone; it was too large for any one of them to lift alone. If the time spent trapped didn't kill that poor soul, then a botched rescue attempt certainly would.

"I-I don't even think it's alive. It's not emitting any kind of sound," Flame bit his tongue lightly, eyes glued to the bloodied bricks they stood on.

Alice looke wholly concentrated. "If there is even a tiny chance, we must not hesitate."

"Let's all move this together," Gaius positioned himself opposite to Flame, paws grasping at the concrete, "On the count of three. One … two … three!"

Upon signal, Flame set his paws upon the concrete, anchored his feet into the rubble and pushed with all his might as Gaius dragged it toward himself. Alice, meanwhile, unwilling to remain idle, wrapped her tail round the trapped pokémon's arm and yanked it away from its rocky grave. The body dragged along much like a ragdoll, moving bit by bit until its head peeked from underneath. A fleeting glance suggested it to be a Raichu, with puffy cheeks and pointy ears, only covered uniformly with milky plaster dust. Not a speck of yellow remained.

Sooner than he'd expected, however, Flame felt his arms evaporate under the rock's unimaginable weight; yet it was Gaius who let go first. The cement slab slammed onto the pokémon's ribs with a loud crunch.

The three of them fliched sharply at the sight, yet the Raichu did not so much as wheeze. It simply lay there, motionless. He stepped forward and set a paw on its chest—more of out of formality than doubt. No heartbeat. In fact, the flesh was so cold that he might as well have been touching a chunk of marble.

He wiped the white dust glued to his claws, and, looking toward Gaius and Alice, he shook his head.

"Well," Gaius shrugged. "That was pointless…"

Alice slithered clear of a mangle of metal wires, and brought her gaze up to the nearby rooms. "'Tis to be expected. There are more roofless sections here. If we find even one pokémon who's still breathing, it will all have been worth it."

Flame looked down at the lifeless Raichu again. Perhaps he ought to ignore such vague details, but—that expression! That face, and how hard it was to discern mouth from eyes under the layer of white dust, brought a deep-seated feeling of emptiness inside. Almost as though whatever trait qualified a creature as alive was no longer there.

He squeezed his eyes together before his mind could go on an inner tangent, and followed Alice and Gaius into a different room. Here, the roof had caved in too—that's what they were stepping on—but all four walls had endured with only scars to show for it. It quickly became apparent that there was no pile of bricks thick enough to hide a body.

His eyes glazed over the surviving furniture. A small chair tossed half-way across the room from its table, the sheets still tucked neatly into a mattress, a ragged cloth that once covered the sole window in this room. But then, Gaius walked to an object he hadn't even noticed before: it was a chest crafted of wood, adorned by naught but a simple metal locking mechanism. The Grovyle snatched it, twisted it in his paws, and set it on the plaster dust-coated table. It took but a simple movement to undo the locking mechanism.

"Woah, woah—hold it. Are we really scooping this low? I thought our main reason for being here was finding survivors, not … looting around like vultures."

Gaius' paw was already roaming free inside the chest, when he stopped momentarily. "And? It's not like these folk have much use for their stuff, do they? Might as well put it to good use. There's hardly a shop around here to buy seeds or orbs properly."

From the corner of his eyes, Flame saw Alice bare a mild scowl directed at the grass-type, brimming with displeasure, but otherwise wordless.

He shut his eyes for a moment. "Ugh, fine. It still doesn't feel right, but I see your point."

With nothing else around him classifiable as entertaining, both Flame and Alice took position behind their leader and assisted as he dug through the chest's contents. The handful of coins previously contained there had already been nabbed, leaving only frivolous personal items (a locket of all things caught his attention), writing materials, and a peculiar cloth folded with meticulous care.

The latter seemed to have been knit out of heavy cloth, dyed a simple, crimson red with no discernable patterns. Just as soon as he noticed Alice take interest in the object, she reached inside the chest with her tailtip, grabbed the cloth, and dangled it in mid-air as to make it unfurl.

"A scarf," she gasped, "I can't believe it! Last winter was so awful, I would have sold myself into slavery just for a speck of warmth. You'd never find material of this quality in Aesernia, or up north in general!" She turned to him, eyes brimming with excitement. "Flame, would you mind just a moment? I want to try this on."

Flame stared at the dangling scarf for a moment, before nodding. He took it in his paws—it felt pleasantly smooth to the touch. So much so that a strange desire to wear it himself creeped into his mind. But he paid that voice no heed; as a fire-type, cold was the least of his concerns.

Holding the scarf by its ends, he brought the middle section to her neck, over her orb, and then brought both ends round, wrapping it enough times until it seemed to strike a balance between tightness and comfort. At the end of the process, he took a step back to gauge her reaction. What was this peculiar tingle deep inside him?

Alice stood wordlessly, as though examining the sensation of being wrapped in a scarf. It was an odd thing to witness, that crimson red cloth surrounding her neck just below the snout, her neck orb completely hidden from view. It did not slide off. Her snout arced downward into the cloth, disappearing in it for a moment. It reemerged soon afterwards, revealing the most genuine of smiles.

"It's warm," she said softly, as though temporarily withdrawn into her own thoughts, "You know, Flame, I envy you. Very much so. The word 'winter' might not mean a lot to you, but … for those of us who are especially vunerable to cold, it evokes a nightmare. The cold makes it impossible to sleep. Some days we don't eat because there are no feasible jobs, since going out in the snow might make one's tail freeze off. Famine means there's hardly ever bread to buy, anyway. Who knows, perhaps this winter will go differently. Hungry, but not as cold." She rose her gaze to meet his. "…Thank you."

Flame could not shake that dumb smile off his face. Just then, his tail fire swelled without him quite noticing. For the first time in recent memory, he truly felt part of something greater. Originally, entering Team Phalanx was a mere necessity, but now, it had morphed into his purpose. Helping Alice, Gaius, and himself lead comfortable lives. In face of such immediate task, searching for his lost memories became a secondary aim.

Alice unravelled the scarf, then chucked it straight into her bag, an undeniable contentedness emanating off her very features. As she lifted her bag back to her neck, something evidently arose in her mind when she saw Gaius' expression.

"Oh, right. I forgot. Would you prefer to wear it instead come winter? Or … perhaps we could alternate… ?"

Gaius's lips pursed in indifference. Disgust, nearly. "Too girly for me. Keep it."

She stared on with a puzzled expression, but then nodded. Her eyes now adressed them both. "Apologies if I got carried away for a moment. Let us continue our search."


The rest of the insula—at least, the parts which could be explored safely—uncovered a grand total of zero survivors. And so did the neighbouring houses, and those further along the Via Magistra, where they'd since moved in hopes of finding even the tiniest hint of life. The gods would not show them grace. Block by block, it appeared as though nothing had been spared: hardly one quarter of all structures could technically retain that name, and of those most were either too perilous to enter or too ruined for one team to possibly excavate.

After only ten minutes of walking, however, Team Phalanx came upon an unusual sight: at the end of one particular city block, and prior to the following, ran a stream of live water. The liquid sported a moody-blue aspect, as though contaminated by some impurity. Its level rested at only a scarce few metres below ground level, and sliced through the city in an impeccably perpendicular line, masquerading as an intangible roadway.

Flame felt dismay smother his thoughts. After all, only the most beautiful sections of the city truly reminded one of how deeply the earthquake had perversed reality itself. Almost mournful for the lifeless city, he shut his eyes for a brief instant. He pictured a picturesque bridge arched low over the canal, the coming and going of small boats, villas whose pure marble thresholds kissed the water, the once picturesque balconies overlooking the cityscape (he counted only one now).

Whilst he held no doubt as to the canal's elegance, that factor became secondary when he realised no crossing point was visible. The bridge directly ahead of them lacked a midsection, which presumably rested beneath the waves.

It was then that a sudden voice blared from their communications badge, startling all three of them into a jump.

"Team Phalanx, this is Archangel. Status report, over."

Team Phalanx shared a common glance, before Gaius scrambled to unhook the badge, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Uh, no luck yet, sir. We've encountered zero survivors, and three deceased. Destruction appears to be total."

"Acknowledged. Head into the old harbour, and report any activities. Archangel out."

A few seconds passed before Gaius once again pinned the badge to his bag. "Well, you heard the guy. If we're going to be stuck here, let's at least do something productive."

The three of them lingered about for an exaggerately hasty lunch, before they set off to follow the canal's current, since—as Alice explained—the current would feed into open sea. As he snaked around inaccessible paths, his gaze spontaneously wandered to the sky. An evident yellow tint corrupted that once celestial plain. Yet it could not possibly be sunset. Had they not awakened mere hours ago? More than a few hundred metres away, he noticed, everything appeared blurred, as though layered on top of itself and just slightly out of alignment.

He brought his gaze back to earth. Everything here brought a deep-seated sense of discomfort. It was as though life once bustled here, only to dissolve into nothingness at the earth's quivers.

"It's so weird. This city looks fairly important. You'd think there would have been hundreds of pokémon around here; instead, nothing. Barely any corpses at all. It's like everybody disappeared without a trace."

"True," Alice said, "It was midday when the earthquake hit yesterday. And, to the best of my knowledge, we are the first response force to reach Portus. I doubt there could have been a coordinated evacuation on such scale."

"Come on, is it really that hard?" Gaius said, "They must have ran to look for help. Can't really blame them for not finding this place homely."

"Maybe so…" Flame muttered back, his tone disagreeing with those very words.

Silence ensued. Team Phalanx continued to pad through dusty, featureless neighbourhoods.

Although they were undoubtedly moving, one could have began to suspect whether time was looping back over and over again, much like in a mystery dungeon. There was little wind, and though his body heat made him unable to judge outside temperature, neither teammate had complained.

"There," grunted Gaius, pointing straight ahead. At the end of the street, the horizon was clearly visible, clear of obstructive buildings.

All of Team Phalanx knew at once what that meant. They hastened their step, if only to get a closer view.

Past the palm trees lined along the coast, past the scarred asphalt bleeding mud, Flame beheld something that took him some moments to fully process. Water, water as far as the eye could see, swaying to and fro at regular intervals. Water below the pier, stretching far beyond the horizon, charged a deep, abyssal blue.

Now he became aware of the hum reaching his ears, perfectly timed with the waves.

"So this is the ocean…" Gaius murmured half to himself.

Flame peered at the Grovyle. "Why, you've never seen it?"

"No. There's nothing like this in Aesernia. Have you?"

The question resonated more than he'd expected. It was a fair question: had he seen the ocean before? His first gut reaction told him there could be no way of knowing, especially with amnesia muffling his past, but upon further examination it was as though his brain noticed an incogruity with such conviction. Perhaps it was true. After all, his body seemed to whisper that much.

He set his paws on the sides of his skull. "T-there's this image in the back of my mind. It's hard to decipher, but I'm fairly confident it has to do with the sea. I've seen it before. I can't tell you when, or where—" he said, before freezing for a moment. If only for a second, the image cleared. Grey. Heartless, gray steel. Howling wind. The tapping of rain. " … A ship. I was on a ship."

Alice's interest peaked. "A ship? Does—does this mean your memories are returning?"

Flame reflexively smiled at those words. Hope sparked to life. "Maybe. It's just this one image. Not much to remember. I guess it's something, though."

Alice gasped. "Flame, you have no ideas how relieving that is to hear! If what you're saying is true, then your memories are still present. With time, we could figure out who your are, and what happened to you."

Now it felt impossible to shake off that dumb smile. It's just like those dreams I've had a few days ago. What is happening to me? Maybe my brain's delusional, but I don't like to think of myself that way. My past life is buried somewhere inside me. I know it is.

He looked toward Gaius. The grass-type tried his best to maintain a fairly neutral face, but it leaked the semblance of curiosity.

"Let me think…" Alice said. "You mentioned being aboard a ship. That isn't too common, I must amit. Perhaps you used to be a member of the Imperial Navy. Either that, or you took one of the ferries from the southern coastline," her face became lined with discomfort. "Although … now that I give it some thought, it would be fairly unusual for a fire-type to join the Navy. Can you remember any more details?"

He waited a few seconds to order his thoughts. He looked into her eyes. "It-it was made of steel. At least, I think so. Do you know of any ships made of steel?"

"What?" Gaius scoffed. "Call me an inland 'mon, but that's impossible. Something like that would sink faster than an overweight Snorlax."

Flame remained wordless, unable to find a worthy response. "Oh. Maybe some other part?"

Alice nodded, as though to testify for that statement. "Some newer galleys feature iron plates on the sides. And the ram, I suppose. Other than that, nothing."

He bit his lip. Damn it. How could this be? Maybe there's something to that memory I'm not recalling, but I'm certain that what I'm seeing is true. It has to be. There's no other explanation.

Gaius turned on his heel, gaze exploring the nearby harbour and promenade. Only a reflexive sigh followed. "Whatever. There's the harbour."

Flowerbeds and palm trees lined the marble-tiled promenade, which stretched over the entire shoreline. From where they stood, one could easily spot the large cement pier protruding into the water. Further ways away was an almost exact replica of the first pier, arranged as to close the port akin to a pincer. Access was only possible through the central gap in the pincer formation, which—he imagined—choked traffic to manageable levels. Moored to those docks were a grand total of five ships; one in particular was bulky, flying what he could make out to be an imperial banner as its sail. The others, tiny and austere, barely classified as anything higher than lifeboat status. All lay tilted on one side or the other, with all but the mast and superstructure submerged beyond redemption.

When they entered Portus's namesake, he once again got the impression that life had long ceased to exist. Did their presence here even serve a purpose? Or was it a mere formality for Ariel to comfort herself in? Prior to the harbour's structure itself was a fairly extensive open-air market running along the streetside. Even those multicoloured stalls carried a mood-crushing grey aura to them. Remaining inside were a plethora of fish, of wildly different shapes and sizes, some of which he could not apply a name to. All over the market, and even the harbour proper, wooden crates were stacked atop one another; Team Phalanx only noticed that some lacked a lid when they got close to a stash of rotting Goldeens.

The stench rifled up his nostrils and clenched ever tighter round his tumultuous stomach. Bile rose in his throat when the stench rifled up his nostrils, and made a knot of his stomach.

A pair of Rattatas scurried away from that very crate, a sight that attracted much attention if only in quality of being the first movement they'd seen in hours.

"… Of course those little bastards would be alive. Better than nothing, I guess."

Flame opened his mouth in order to formulate a response, until the realisation dawned on him. That voice did not belong to Gaius, nor Alice.

Within the span of an instant, his head shot in the voice's direction—not unlike if an electric impulse had zapped his shoulder. That was all it took. His muscles had suddenly hardened into stone. Without much tought, he raised his claws in full view, and tensed his body. Alice looked visibly bemused. Gaius drew his leaf blades.

There! The figures had just rounded the corner. One, white, furry, with a head appendage—Absol. Yes, there was no mistaking it. He recognised that species. The other, a smaller, lavander-furred feline, travelled alongside the first. The feline uttered a few words, then froze with her mouth mid-syllable when the two strangers' gaze met Team Phalanx's.

For a brief second, silence reigned sovereign.

"Hey—calm, calm!" Alice shouted. "Everyone, take a deep breath. We're all Task Force Aegis. No need to escalate the situation."

Those words served as messengers of reason, for once heard both sides came to their wits; both saw the Civil Protection badge pinned on the other's bag, and both softened out of their respective battle stances.

Flame took a deep, deep breath, incredulous at how quickly things were about to escalate. It was merely another Civil Protection team, just like them. There had been no real need to act that way. Portus appeared expansive when compared to Aesernian standards, but certainly not immense.

The Absol emitted something close to a snarl. "Ah, for cryin' out loud, it's just our guys and civilians here. What the hell got into your bloody heads?"

Gaius lowered his leaf blade, his face conveying more annoyance than apology. "Call it 'force of habit', if you will."

Alice stepped forward, donning a tentative smile. "I apologise. You see, we had yet to encounter a single living being here, so … in a way, y-your appearance caught us by surprise."

Though the Absol refused to meet their gaze, the Espeon did so, though with a face far from forgiving.

"It's understandable. What with all these voices going around that the Scum can use mystery dungeons to bypass front lines, everyone's on edge. I suppose that fear isn't entirely unfounded. Can't say I appreciated the scare, though."

Silence only prolonged in the cold, stale air. It became evident that this interaction had set off on the wrong foot. Their previous exchange lingered in the air for some moments, echoing farther than he felt comfortable with.

"Anyways, um … how's the search going?" Flame asked, chiefly to divert attention onto a different topic.

"Nothing," the Espeon shook her head. "We found one resident who seemed to be breathing, but they died before a medical unit could reach us. Otherwise, just corpses."

The Absol pawed a pebble away. "Fifty-thousand 'mon used to live here. Now it's a ghost town. Never seen anything like this."

Flame nodded wholeheartedly. To hear their voices echo loudly in every direction felt disrespectful, in a way. "Same. We've been clearing entire streets for hours, with zero results. Our dispatcher just sent us to investigate the harbour."

The Espeon's ears perked to attention. "Really? Thank the gods. I was beginning to wonder why Archangel would leave two measly officers to survey this gigantic area."

"It seems you've been assigned to our same dispatcher," said Alice. "Perhaps there are more teams on their way here. Have you found anything of note?"

The Absol shook his head. "We were going to check out the market just here. Haven't taken a good look at the docks yet. Guess you can do it for us. If you find someone, look for us in this area."

There appeared to be nothing left to share. Flame could sense residues of tension reside in everyone's very stances. And thus, Team Phalanx shared a common look, and the three of them wordlessly agreed to depart.

"Sure thing. We'll … be on our way, then," Gaius said plainly, and turned in the main dock's direction.

"Good luck," Alice added quickly, before she followed suit.

"Don't bother with those warehouses," said the Absol from behind as the distance between them accumulated, "Just naval equipment and other useless junk."

And so, the two groups parted ways wordlessly.

For some odd reason, Flame felt an almost imperceptible weight lift off his chest as they walked out of those two's sight, as though finding greater comfort within the privacy of his team. An absentminded smile set itself upon his face. Albeit he hadn't quite figured out every facet of Alice and Gaius' life yet, it mattered not. One week spent in each other's constant presence, sleeping in the same tent, all of them tied inexorably by the daily struggle to survive, had forged invisible yet undeniable bonds. He could notice it in their behaviour, too. Gaius had yet to make even a single derisory remark today. In fact, his leader was beginning to address him more often in general, whether consciously or not. And, further more, Alice spoke to him sincerely, whether of trivialities or of the past, of their team's future or her own life. Slowly but surely, he belonged somewhere. Could anything feel more soothing to the mind?

It certainly helped him absorb the mute devastation of Portus.

Rows upon rows of warehouses lined the section of cement prior to the pier itself. Constructed out of metal plates, these were the only structures yet encountered to stand up altogether, although in visible disrepair. This particular angle of the world, he thought, if the rest was forgotten, resembled something close to normalcy.

But the officer from before had left all doors wide open, so the group continued up to where the pier narrowed and where small fishing boats remained moored, most in varying states of submersion. They drew loops round the stacks of sealed crates,

"Hey, guys?" Flame said. "So … that officer said the Scum use mystery dungeons to travel across long distances more quickly. You heard that, didn't you? Is it true?

Alice looked at him, as if to reply, yet remained deep in thought for a few moments. "I can't say I haven't heard that theory. After all, anyone who travels through anomalies knows that you'll be spit out wherever the anomaly pleases. While far from ideal, I am certain it's been attempted before."

"Yeah. The one thing that makes 'em different from ferals is they learn," remarked Gaius.

Flame wracked his mind round the daunting implications of such possibility. "Oh, great… Not only do we have to worry about portal storms or famine, but an invasion as well.," he grit his teeth. "I mean, who—who are the Scum? I've been thinking lately. They must have some goal apart from simply invading. What could they possibly want?"

"'Tis anybody's guess, really," Alice said. "Our people cannot communicate, and as such we know little to nothing. What we do know, however, are historical facts. We know, for instance, that these populations inhabited the northern regions prior to Honorius' conquest many hundreds of years ago, and that following a failed insurrection they'd been banished across the Spearhead Mountains. Then, silence. Some explorers ventured outside the empire's reaches in the following centuries, but those were few and far between, and mentions of outside tribes within the Wastelands even fewer," she accompanied the last words with a sigh.

"Maybe it's an act of revenge," he proposed. "To reclaim the lands they see as theirs."

Alice stared up at the misty sky. "I suppose that's a possibility. But, even so, I can't help but feel something's amiss. It's not merely about military incursions. No, it's a full-on exodus. Legionaries have attested that enemy armies often accompany mothers and younglings, and build their own villages in occupied territory. The Wastelands may be harsh and cold, but … why now? Why wait so many centuries if conditions truly were so dire? Something extraordinary must have pushed them to migrate."

For a fleeting moment, Gaius grinned. "Never thought you'd manage to interest me with your historical babble. If you ask me, maybe they got decimated by portal storms just like us. Remember the date of the first invasion? It wasn't long after these storms got really bad."

Flame listened attently. "When did they begin, exactly? Were they not always around?"

Alice shook her head. "A hundred and four years ago—or so my tutor taught me. At the time, the current emperor was still a crown prince. The first manifestation happened over the open sea, so it was viewed as simply a peculiar phenomenon. But then more appeared, occasionally coming into contact with larger population centres. They've become a regularity ever since," she looked toward the sky again. "Yes, now I do see a possible connection with the Scum migrating."

"But … are there any explanations of what could have triggered these events? Or theories, at least?" he insisted, gluttonous of every detail he could extract about this strange, strange world.

"No. That's the issue. Psychic researchers, religious figures, nothing. Nobody has the slightest clue what is happening, nor are they making an effort to understand. I guess there were multiple guardians of temples claiming that Giratina is attempting to conquer the overworld, but does anyone truly take them seriously nowadays?"

Gaius snickered lightly. "If you mean those circles of stuck-up intellectuals you seem to like so much, then no, probably not. But provincial 'mon have nothing better to believe in. Trust me, I was one."

Flame had to stop to fully appreciate that his leader had just revealed something about his past for the first time.

Provincial? Huh. That means he's not from Aesernia. Where, then…? he dug through his memories to remember the map he'd partly memorised in the library. Ah, it's probably some backwoods village in or around the Silva Boema. I imagine that's where plant pokémon like him live.

Much to his disappointment, the conversation subsequently died down. Albeit hungry for knowledge (and, admittedly, food), he acquiesced to his leader's order that they focus on the mission at hand. The Grovyle was right, he thought: these long discussions were hogging up too much precious time. Every second that passed meant a weaker heartbeat, a consciousness slipping into obscurity. And if not so, then it would mean less time to spend in that ghastly place which weighed on the heart.

Everyone's attention was simultaneously captured by one particular ship moored just ahead.

It was much, much larger than all others—rising above the pier in height—but in comparison the deck appeared narrower. Metal plates resembling that of body armour adorned the sides, whilst below those he spotted innumerous holes in the wood, running along the ship's length and spaced out carefully. Out of each protruded a long wooden oar, amounting to dozens upon dozens of oars resting on the water's surface, undisturbed. The front of the ship featured a protuberance made of metal, which he identified as the ram. Judging by the imperial eagle stamped on the large red sail, it must have belonged to the Imperial Navy.

"Think we should board it and look around?" Flame asked. "If every building in my town was destroyed, this looks like a place I'd take refuge in."

Gaius seemed to mull the offer over momentarily. Then, he shrugged. "Sure. It's about the most interesting thing we can do right now."

Thus, one by one, the three of them crossed the narrow bridge leading onto the ship.

Not ten seconds had passed before Flame was forced to help himself along the protective railing, in order not to fall victim to the ship's tilting and counter-tilting. Here, he felt the waves truly control the hull: now the ship swayed on one side, then stabilised, then abruptly swayed on the other side, all while rising and falling a few metres according to whatever the waves dictated. Worst of all, his stomach was being tossed about to nausea. His paws wrapped tighter round the railing. Now he thanked their decision to eat once the port had been checked.

Upon closer inspection, the deck revealed itself to be even narrower than it seemed, measuring no more than three times his body length. It was completely devoid of objects, besides a select cache of barrels and rope, and two complex-looking catapults mounted just behind the bow.

Gaius lost his balance during one of the ship's movements, but used his knee to avoid hitting the floor. "Mew be damned … how do sailors manage to stand up on this thing? And this is anchored to port!"

"Kyogre mustn't be kind to us today. If you believe in Her, that is," Alice said as she looked towards the open seas.

Flame now paid closer attention to the Dragonair. In an ironic twist of irony, she was the only one who didn't seem to find much difficulty in movement. She slithered ahead of her teammates (oh—was that a smirk on her cheeks?) and pointed her tail to an irregularity in the floor.

"That hatch seems to be the only way inside. Would you help me get it open?"

Both him and Gaius took cautious steps, taking care never to detach at least one paw from the timber railing. Once above the hatch, Flame knelt down and, wrapping his claws round the handle, yanked it toward himself. Nothing. The hatch flinched, but something seemed to block it. Blinking, he tried again, this time with greater strength. Still nothing but creaks.

"It … it won't open," he furrowed his brow in confusion.

Gaius treated him with a heavy groan, and pushed him back. "Geez, are you this frail? Is the damn hatch too heavy for you? Let me do it."

Gaius yanked with audible impetus, but the end result did not change. The Grovyle scowled. All following attempts emulated the first. Openly growling, the Grovyle let go of the handle altogether. He then brought his leaf blades down on the exposed hinges, and pummelled them again and again until they ruptured in a clang and flew off. With no structural support remaining, the hatch merely detached itself from the deck and thundered down the newly revealed set of stairs, resting fully on one of the final steps.

Flame could only stare in discomforted shock whilst his leader filled his lungs with air in order to regain calm. The Grovyle noticed his teammates' stares, but did not comment immediately.

Instead, Gaius looked straight into his eyes. "Fine, fine. It was locked. I get it."

Flame's eyes became wide with surprise. Excuse me? Was that an apology I just heard? Did you hit hit your head while I wasn't looking?

One by one, Team Phalanx descended the creaking staircase. Darkness enshrouded the inside, and his tail light could only properly illuminate the immediate stairway. Overall, the room followed the hull's shape: very elongated, yet somewhat narrow in comparison. Light, spearing inside via paw-sized holes meant for the oars, highlighted thick clouds of dust particles hovering in the air.

"Hello?" Alice raised her voice. "Is anybody here?"

Flame did not expect a response, and indeed, the dust held none.

Gaius huffed. "If they were, I doubt they'd lock themselves in."

"True. We tried, I suppose," Alice resigned herself with a sigh.

The three of them moved forward in unison with his crackling tail fire. Wooden benches lined the room's length—presumably where sailors rowed— and a spent lantern dangled from the ceiling. Closer to the stern was another hatch leading below, plus a single door. Seeing Gaius fiddle with the hatch, he chose to investigate the latter.

He applied gentle force on the wooden door, its rusted hinges screeching as it swung wide to reveal a dark, windowless room. His tail fire sent pulses of life all around as he entered. Heaps of papers and writing material lay in disorder atop a desk, while even more were scattered about the floor. Across the room stood a simple yet impressive bed—how comfortable the mattress must have been!—and two finely carved wooden chairs.

He immediately deduced this to be the captain's room. Despite being just barely larger than their tent back at Camp Tempest, he found deep inside him a yearning to lie on that soft bed and call this ship home. The mere presence of solid walls helped him feel protected. Definitely more than feeble tent fabric. And, the furniture! His eyes remained transfixed on the bed. To sleep on anything other than damp hay seemed to him like an alien reality, one confined to fictious tales of royalty.

The excitement flowing through his veins acted on his behalf: if he couldn't bring this bedding home, then he deserved to at least experience how it felt.

Slowly, as though celebrating a ceremony, he lowered himself onto the white bedding. Just as his rear sank into the soft mattress, his scales greeted with sensations of velvety softness. In some ways, he likened the sensation to that of floating centimetres off the ground. His face morphed automatically into a smile. Nothing stopped him from laying his back and head as well. The bedding caressed and stroked his scales gently. Half of him wished to retreat to sleep right at that moment. Could any place feel more homely? However, he noticed with alarm that each moment spent on that bed drew an injustified fatigue to his muscles. Perhaps it was not wise to fall asleep, though undeniably tempting.

Man, I really wish I could bring this home, he stretched his arms wide. It would make sleeping so much better…

Much to his own disappointment, he forced himself to stand up, though not before loitering briefly to steal every last fleeting moment on that bed. Once fully standing, he looked back one last time—as though mourning the loss of some dear friend.

Perhaps one day, if the gods bestowed mercy upon them, Team Phalanx would be able to afford decent bedding. Yes, that thought was reassuring. It carried hope. It carried newfound motivation to continue the struggle.

Flame then turned his attention to the desk. He quickly scoured every surface and drawer for any items of interest: money, food, orbs. Unfortunately, the top of the desk hid nothing more than worthless papers and writing material. Thus, he opened each individual drawer. Inside one was a small stack of six or seven coins amounting roughly to ten thousand poké; if his memory served him right, not quite enough to buy a single loaf of bread.

Remembering once again that he lacked a bag of his own, and that none was to be found inside this room, he opted to simply hold the coins in his fist for the moment.

It was then that he noticed a booklet amongst the mess covering the desk. It was closed, and positioned in front of the chair, as though having been used recently. He leaned closer to make out the words engraved on its cover:

Mare Nostrum II: Captain's Logbook.

Curiosity set in, but it was soon replaced by a most important realisation: this logbook could have contained information regarding what happened to the crew! Flame took seat in the chair within seconds, letting his tail hang by the side. He opened the booklet at a random point, and skimmed over key words in various entries. Most consisted of uninteresting technical details, or planned navigation paths. He skipped a few dozen pages and read again. Each entry was sorted by year—ah! Something caught his eye at once. With interest, he began reading:

500 AUC

On this morning of January 12th, an anomalous explosion manifested in the sky above the Lipari Archipelago (05:13). The ensuing flash briefly turned the night sky into day and was witnessed by sailors aboard the Mare Nostrum, approximately 220 kilometres away. Damage to hearing has been reported as far away as Agia Marina, with casualties occurring from collapsed houses all along the coast.

Rescue teams landing near the epicentre at Vulcano Isle seven hours after the anomalous event allege coming under attack by unidentified beings, as well as seeing a 'large, spiralling rift' in the open sky.

Unfortunately, I am left with few choices in my hands. No contact has been established yet with residents of the Lipari Archipelago, and communications with Urbe are limited so long as the XXIV Fleet remains at sea. Weather has not allowed our messenger bird to gather more information. In a normal situation I would dismiss such outlandish tales, but the nature of the event leaves me fearful. I have ordered all active ships to set sail for the epicentre, and prepare to embark survivors.


Admiral Marius Feraligatr, XXIV Imperial Fleet.

Flame hummed loudly as he finished reading the entry. Wind howled faintly outside. Perhaps he shouldn't have been wasting time reading such old entries, but the situation intrigued him to no end. Thus, he turned page and located the following note. He continued reading:

503 AUC

Two civilian fishing vessels have been seized today, and their crews arrested for violating the Imperial moratorium on navigation within 100 kilometres of Vulcano Isle. Psychic probes show that none have witnessed divine activity, thus their memories are to be spared until further instructions.

His Majesty has once again reminded the High Council that Our Benefactors work as equals to the Crown to enlighten our society, and do not wish to be disturbed.

(What has happened to this world? I guess I should trust His words above all else. But I can't bring myself to not worry. To forget. Hell, I can't shake those flying beasts off my nightmares after three full years.)


Admiral Marius Feraligatr, XXIV Imperial Fleet.

It took him but a few moments to fully absorb what he'd just read. Most of the events narrated lacked historical context, and served only to further confuse him. Besides, Alice had only just begun explaining ancient history to him in the scraps of spare time at their disposal.

He shook any extraneous thoughts out of his head. Stop getting carried away, Flame. You have a mission to complete.

Turning more pages, he searched for the last entry. It dated back approximately two days. A sweeping glance revealed only mundane information about cargo unloaded to Portus, bureaucratic instructions, and—

The mundane writing ended abruptly mid-page. Afterwards, blank. He turned page after page, not finding anything until he noticed something scribbled on the inside of the logbook's cover:

After a lifetime of impeccable service the Mare Nostrum will have to be abandoned by her crew, but it took the umpteenth storm for us to be separated.

Once those civilians are brought to safety, I'll tell them of our adventures together. Goodbye, old friend.


Flame read the note again, his eyes going back to the same word. 'Storm'. Such ambiguous word to use! One could have meant a normal storm, but in that case why gather all survivors and evacuate? Though he hadn't seen any sign of a portal storm—he still remembered his close encounter with one vividly—there was a valid case for alarm.

After reading the note once more to memorise it exactly, he hopped off the chair and left the room, leaving the logbook in its rightful place. The hatch leading to the deck below was open. Thumps from objects being thrown about resonated from inside.

"Gaius?"

He hopped down and descended a few steps, lowering his head to avoid bumping onto the ceiling. Then, he held his tail out in front of him to shed light into the windowless room. The stacks of dusted boxes present all over made him think this way a cargo bay of sorts.

There was Gaius: sitting on top of a box, drinking heartily from a glass bottle in his paws. The Grovyle then noticed his teammate's presence, and swallowed one last sip before looking Flame dead in the eye.

"Oh. You're done. Found anything?"

Flame failed to hold back a grimace. The sight of alcohol brought unpleasant memories to mind, those of their bar fight. A bitter flavour coated his tongue.

"For Mew's tail, Gaius, do you have to?"

"What?" the Grovyle crossed his arms. "I'm not paying a dime this time. That oughta make you happy. Now, let me have some fun, will you?"

He bit his tongue, not knowing how to react. "O-okay. It's just … is this a habit for you?"

Gaius took another sip, shrugging. "Eh, sort of. Our finances don't really help, but it's something I enjoy doing whenver a chance presents itself. Like now," he put the bottle in his paws down, then opened his bag to reveal another one. "Just look at this. What kind of blockhead would leave perfectly good booze down here? A southerner, that's who."

Another knot tied Flame's stomach. Although his gut told him to rip that bottle out of the bag and smash it to pieces, no real damage was being done except possibly to the Grovyle's own health. Besides, he couldn't quite go down there and force his will through violence.

"Fine." he shut his eyes and heaved. "As long as you're clear-headed enough for the mission, then fine. Just don't throw our money away."

Gaius paused. His gaze became more serious, almost emotionless. "I know."

Flame climbed back out of the hatch, keeping his tail out to illuminate the steps. "Come on, we need to regroup. I think I know what happened to everyone. And it could be bad. Really bad."

An affimative grunt came from the cargo bay, and soon the two of them ascended back to the top deck, where they saw Alice stand by the railing, wholly concentrated in the distant horizon.

"… Guys?" she said in a distant tone. "Do you remember the sky being so dark before?"

Huh? It was then, as he looked out in the same direction, that he noticed all was not right in the skies above. The sun seemed to have disappeared almost completely—as though blocked out by a thick barrier of fog. What few clouds had existed peacefully not long before had now bred to the dozens, with broody, tar-black shadows cumulating in the open seas. Even more worryingly, the few patches of sky left visible were coloured an unmistakable orange, a shade more reminiscent of sunset than high noon.

"It can't possibly be dusk already," she said. "Just a few hours ago, when we reached that canal, it wasn't nearly this bad."

A lump formed in his throat. The storm predicted by the captain's diary was indeed happening. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he hoped it would bring rain, and nothing further.

"Guys, I think I found out what happened to the survivors," he said. That got their attention. "I-I found it in the captain's diary. He basically said that a 'storm' was coming, and as such he had to abandon the ship and evacuate civilians."

Alice nodded, and then looked out overboard again. "I see. That would explain a lot. Gaius, do you think…?"

Gaius nodded, pupils dilated to a slit. "No idea. We've seen enough portal storms in the years. You know that there's maybe thirty minutes at most to prepare after the first signs. Right now, I can't be sure."

"That captain must have felt fairly certain of himself to abandon his ship like this. Even if it is a simple thunderstorm, I'd feel safer once we're away from the coast."

Flame swallowed out of reflex. "L-let's just tell Archangel for now."


"Copy that, Team Phalanx," Archangel's voice streamed through the communications badge, "A flying squadron has been sent to verify your intel. What is your location?"

Flame turned round, his eyes attracted to the darkness enroaching what he assumed to be the harbour. The sea was, by now, well outside of visual range, replaced instead with the streaming ruins of Portus. He figured they were in the heart of the city, by now. Even if it went against their dispatcher's orders, they'd all agreed to reach the city outskirts and await visual confirmation that there was no threat.

Gaius stopped walking for a moment, leaning closer into the device. "Currently heading down the Via Magistra, sir. We're not taking any chances. No survivors were found in the harbour area. There's—"

The Grovyle said something, but his voice was vastly overshadowed when an ear-shattering roar exploded from the cloud mass, even causing the earth to tremble briefly.

The three of them merely stood in place for a few, unending moments, eyes wide, staring at the sky behind them much like one would a feral beast ready to pounce. In fact, the clouds had now assumed an almost purple hue, and the wind did sound like a distant howl buffeting their ears.

Gaius clenched the badge in his paws tighter. "S-sir, I'll ask you again: are you positive that isn't a portal storm we're looking at?"

"Uh … Negative. Legionary psychics are analysing the storm as we speak. Retreat to a safe distance until the all-clear is given. Out."

Flame watched as his team leader once again pinned the device to his bag. Questions only piled up inside his head.

"If that's a portal storm, how far we have to run to avoid its radius? W-will the camp be safe?"

"I believe so," Alice said. "Assuming the storm remains stationary, our camp should be at a safe enough distance. The question is if we can get there in time."

Gaius huffed, and sprung forward at startling speed. "Standing around won't help. Expedite!"

Both him and Alice rushed in tow, but matching the gecko's innate agility was a feat simultaneously strenuous and impossible. Fuelled by the possibility of impending danger, they pushed their body to the maximum speed it could handle, weaving through blocked streets, alleyways, never slowing down. The reduction in sunlight was making itself felt: a blanket of shadows was cast over the area, and making out small obstacles became that much harder without being close to his bodily light.

However, just as they entered a large street, a bright flash coming from up ahead forced them to stop.

Flame blinked the light spots out of his vision, then squinted his eyes to make out where the flash had originated from. There! Not three hundred metres ahead, he could just make out various figures lashing out against one another. Another two lay motionless on the nearby floor. Judging by the shouts and grunts of pain, combat of some kind was clearly taking place. Two pokémon in particular were being targeted by the rest with attack after attack, with hardly any time to counter.

"What the hell?" Gaius mumbled.

Another flash flooded the street, just as lightning arched from one pokémon, which he now recognised to be a Manectric. The quadruped's attack engulfed the opposing creature—a Quilava—who shrieked loud enough to make Team Phalanx flinch. Then, it fell to the ground, unresponding.

The fallen pokémon's companion, clearly outnumbered, opted to leg it down a small alleyway. The group of attackers shouted something to each other, but none seemed to form coherent words, replaced instead by a throaty, harsh mesh of consonants.

"Those sounds—it's…" Alice gasped.

"Hide!" whispered Gaius sharply, nigh diving behind a pile of rubble, and pulling Flame and Alice with him.

Acting on instinct, Flame wrapped his claws round his tail fire, and suppressed his breath in order to dim its crackling liveliness. Even then, his claws leaked a noticeable amount of light. He silently cursed his biology.

Gaius peeked his head for an instant, then went back behind cover. "Bloody hell, they're Scum! Five of 'em. And those other two must have been our guys. How the fuck did no one notice them?"

"Doesn't matter," Alice narrowed her eyes. "We could still be in critical danger if we do not exit the city immediately. Do you see a way around?"

Flame peeked simultaneously with his leader. The five figures had now shrank to three, presumably to chase the fugitive officer. A dirt-furred Zangoose rummaged through the fallen Quilava's bag, appraising its content one object at a time. The Quilava was still breathing, though in pain. He could see its chest rise and fall ever so slightly.

"Flame? What do you see?" Alice whispered.

He shook his head. "Nothing. One option would be to backtrack, but that means walking into the open."

Gaius contemplated his leaf blades. "They've split up. If we hit now, they'll never see it coming. Should leave us enough time to make a run for it."

Alice narrowed her eyes. "Are you mental? There is no time to fight! You can't—"

Gaius lay his back against the rubble and unpinned the communications badge from his bag, keeping it close to his mouth.

"Archangel, this is Team Phalanx," the Grovyle whispered. "Be advised, hostile forces are present in town. I repeat, there are hostiles in the area. Requesting permission to engage."

The response was prompt, and frighteningly loud. "Team Phalanx, stand down! Do not engage!"

Team Phalanx remained as stiff as statues. Their eyes felt on the verge of popping out of their sockets. The voice had echoed far, much farther than they'd anticipated. Silence ensued when even the group of Scum stopped talking. Though he dared not peek out of his hiding place, he could feel three pair of eyes burrowing through the stone and onto his scales.

When another message erupted from the badge, Gaius scrambled to suppress the sounds with his body, but to no avail.

"All callsigns, we have a confirmed portal storm forming over the old harbour. Fall back and find shelter immediately. I say again, fall back!"

Flame felt his heart skip a beat. His paws gripped whatever was closest, which turned out to be a pile of plaster dust. Holding his breath any longer became impossible, lest his body lose consciousness right then and there. Their deepest fears had come true. All of Portus would soon be engulfed by darkness, and here they were, cowering like prey. Trapped.

"Grrrr…"

He turned to the sound. There the Zangoose stood, towering over his prone form, eyes boring a hole into his. The thing's claws were even sharper than its teeth. Its fur was ruffled and dirty with mud. A sweaty stench weighed the air.

"Uh … hi?" Flame blurted out, wearing a tentative grin.

The Zangoose lunged.


End of Chapter XII
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, back with a fresh review in my series. There's definitely a fair share of older material in this one, but enough has been changed around that the experience is hopefully still fresh for you, and leave some helpful suggestions behind for if it ever strikes your fancy to put a fresh coat of paint on this chapter.

Markup format follows the same format as in my review for Chapter IX. I figured it worked decently well last time, so no sense fixing what isn't broken. Though do be mindful to add a threadmark for Chapter XII, since there wasn't one for it at the time this review was initially written.

And now for the proper meat of this review:

Chapter X

Flame felt wonderful.

Albeit A mass of clouds obfuscated obscured the morning sky, leaving the whole camp in a the shade of its penumbra, it which strangely did not impact his mood in the slightest. He walked outside the barracks alongside his squadmates, as the smelling of fresh dew and pokémon sweat through pricked his nostrils. For what was possibly the first time in his life, the entirety of his body felt pleasantly untense; no knots tying his stomach, no dull aches in his head.

His enlarged tail fire seemed to agree, too.

I’m actually not fully sure whether it makes sense to talk about “shade” and “penumbra” in the same sentence given that a penumbra is a part of a shadow, but I kept things simplistic there.

Alice: “I’m sorry, it’s canonically October in a Mediterranean climate right now. Why are you feeling this chipper on a cold, cloudy day like this again?”
Flame: “I mean, I’m doing fine right now thanks to natural warmth. Besides, it’s not as if you two are super weak to the cold yourselves-”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “... Oh right. On another note, I'm having the strangest feeling that I'm forgetting something from last night."
Gaius: "We got paid and are going to celebrate?"
Flame: "... I guess that must've been it, though I hope you're not going to be drinking this early in the day, Gaius." >_>;
Gaius: "Relax. I won't be getting sloshed, you've earned it for once."
- Blink moment -
Gaius: “... Unless you want to of course, since I could really go for a-”
Alice: “Let’s just hurry along to that marketplace.”

"Are you sure that will be enough?" Alice asked [as they departed their tent], dodging incoming officers scrambling to take a job for the day. [The] three of them had already agreed to do so after rush hour.

Gaius rummaged through his bag's contents one last time. "Looks like it. This is basically all the equipment we have, anyway."

"And what about the money?” the Dragonair pressed. “Remember our 'special' breakfast?"

Gaius rolled his eyes. "Ugh, don't worry, I remember. I honestly have zero clue what we'd buy, though."

Alright, two bracketed bits that I feel are a bit more open-ended as to how to tweak them.

For the first one, it’s not strictly needed, but I think things would potentially benefit from slotting a period after “Alice asked” and then expanding the next sentence a bit by describing the team leaving their tent and the crush of Civil Protection teams going counter to them in a bit more explicit detail.

For the second bracket, I feel as if some sort of expansion on the lines of “but that was their problem” with regard to the teams mentioned in passing in the prior sentence is probably called for, since something about it feels choppy and disconnected right now.

Flame: “Oh! Maybe we can get pastries or something like that!”
- Alice and Gaius stare at Flame -
Gaius: “Yeah, let’s start by setting our sights a bit lower first.” >_>;

Flame put a claw to his chin, humming aloud. "Good question. Definitely no berries. If I see another one of those, I'm going to vomit. Never tried fish, though."

"Fish? For breakfast?" Alice grinned, "You, sir, have some mighty fine tastes. Too bad a single Magikarp costs enough to bleed us dry."

Alice: “Er… yeah, a bit lower than that still.”
Flame: “Oh come on!

He let out half a frown. "Well, there must be something we can afford that isn't leftovers."

"Eh, let's just buy some fresh bread," Gaius shrugged, "No need to go crazy on spending."

Flame's mind threw around some options, yet he didn't know what could be considered finesse in this town. "I guess, but that's a bit simple on its own. How about … I don't know, cheese?"

Not fully sure what you were getting at for “finesse” for the underlined bit. Did you mean “finery” there? If so, it probably makes sense if after slipping over there, to also tack on something like “[...] town, let alone one they could afford.”

- Beat moment -
Flame: “Actually, wait a minute. Can we even eat cheese when we’re all reptiles? Wouldn’t we all be lactose intolerant-?”
Alice: “Look, if Lucario can wolf down chocolate in the anime, we can have cheese. We’re going to have cheese, okay?” >_>;

"Cheese…" Alice repeated, as if testing the suggestion with her own lips, "That's perfect! If we take the thinnest slice possible, we could probably afford three."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Gaius' face contort into a grimace.

"Fine. We're splitting the loaves, then," the Grovyle said, "I'm not throwing away more than eight thousand poké on this."

Flame: "It costs 8000 Poké to buy a couple bread loaves and three wafer-thin slices of cheese? But I thought we just earned enough money to get by for a month." ._.
Alice: "Er… technically, that’s one slice of cheese. And we did. Assuming we maintain our... current living standards. And we are getting nicer food than normal, so the cost adds up." ^^;
Flame: “... Isn’t there something else we could buy with that money?” .-.
Alice: “Well, we could go for aliter dulcia since you don’t need fresh bread to make that. But the eggs and honey we’d need for it might add up to more in the end. Plus then we’d have to cook it somehow and I don’t think there were ever communal stoves or ovens established to exist in Camp Tempest.”
Gaius: "Alternatively, we could all get sloshed. I'm pretty sure the 8000 Poké would buy enough wine at the Walnut Tree Café to get us all nice and drunk. Pretty sure you'll stay happier longer that way than from some bread and cheese."
- Flame folds arms and frowns -
Flame: "Yeah, no. I've seen you when you're drunk, Gaius. Getting cut up while you're on a bender's not my idea of a good time." >_>;

Soon, they ventured out of Camp Tempest and into the vague, brown-coloured slums to the south and west of it. Flanking them were little three-storey houses with battered doorways—perhaps a quarter of the windows in the street were smashed or missing. He was amazed at how one could bear to live in such crumbling rat-holes—insulae, he recalled Alice saying calling them. Yet the proles did so without complaint. Up and down the street, and through a particular doorway, a group of Riolu cubs laughed and giggled hysterically as they chased after one another, only to scatter at angry yells from their mothers.

A couple of wording nitpicks here. The first is that “vague” doesn’t really sell a firm image of what the slums are like. Even something as simple as dropping in “dingy” in its stead I think would be a net benefit.

The other is a nitpick that I won’t stress too much since it’s kinda just a wording quirk, but I’d have expected “pups” to be used over “cubs” with regard to the Riolu mentioned given that that’s how one would refer to a young dog in reality.

Flame: "Eww... this sort of dump was where you wanted to set up that base you were fantasizing about, Alice? Though what does 'insulae' mean anyways?"
424925435651031049.png

Alice: "It means 'islands'. Each of these complexes is an 'insula', or an 'island'. With how it stands alone and you can get most of your shopping done right underneath your home, it kinda resembles the name, don't you think?"
Gaius: "Hrmph, 'cloaca' would be more fitting if you ask me considering how I can smell that laundromat from down the lane.
- Gaius shake head -
Gaius: “Though at least they're relatively small unlike the ones in Urbe. I heard that the ones there get big enough that if they catch fire, the Pokémon on the upper floors usually have trouble getting out in time!"
Alice: "I mean, there are Pokémon in Urbe that go around helping to put out fires, Gaius. (At least when they're not starting them...) So it's not as if everyone's just going to let an insula catch fire and burn the whole city down again!"
Flame: "... 'Again'? Meaning that it burned down once already? If this is what we'd have to look forward to for a base, let's stick to living in the tent at Camp Tempest!" ._.

The younglings paid no attention to Team Phalanx, while most adults passing by eyed them with a sort of guarded contempt. Flame figured it must have been the badges pinned on their bags attracting so much scrutiny.

He strode forward wordlessly.

Flame: “Just gonna ignore those funny looks there. (Boy I would not want to be walking around here alone at night.)”
701630550720512120.png

Alice: “Uh… probably for the best, honestly.” ._.;

At one point, Gaius ordered them to take a shortcut down a dark alleyway—one of the only few not overflowing with rubbish. Once he saw Gaius stop and keenly on counting the coins in his bag, Flame blinked, as a thought streamed out of his mouth of its own accord.

"Uh, do you just … keep it all in there? The money, I mean."

After twisting his head round, to make sure there was no prole to overhearing them, Gaius strapped pulled his bag tighter against his body, and turned to him.

"Of course not. What did you take me for, a fool?" Gaius said in a near-whisper, "I stash it all in a hole that's under my bed."

Flame: “... Gaius, how have you not gotten robbed yet?” .-.
Gaius: “Well, normally the hole’s just filled with some dust bunnies and a few clipped nummi, so…”
Alice: “Usually there’s not exactly much to rob.” -_-;

Upon hearing those words, Flame raised an eyebrow. "O-oh, okay. It doesn't make me feel any safer, to be honest. How can you be sure it'll stay there?"

Alice offered him a meek, sheepish grin. "Well, no one has found out yet, so I'd say our chances are good."

Flame: “... I suppose being dirt poor most of the time would help the others not suspect we just got a windfall.”
Alice: “Well, until Gaius starts coming back drunk every other day between missions.” >_>;
Gaius: “Hey! I already do that anyways!”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “... Okay, I’m starting to understand how you two have perpetual budget problems.” >.<

Flame rubbed the back of his head pensively. "But isn't there a bank, or someplace like that we could use?"

"Geez, you must be thinking we have public thermae up North too," Gaius snickered, though no traces of malice were present in his voice, "There used to be one a couple years back. The interest rates [were really wicked though], so eventually it just closed down for a lack of clients."

I know you explained in the past elsewhere that you saw that as interest rates on loans scaring off business. But it might make sense to be a wee bit more explicit there, since I originally saw that as low interest rates on deposits scaring off customers when Urbe’s in the middle of some serious currency problems.

Flame: "What's a 'thermae' anyways?"
Alice: "It's a bath kinda like Ariel's, with different chambers for cold, tepid, and hot water for different phases for your bath."
Flame: "Oh? All that space open to the public? How do they manage the lines when only 3 Pokémon can use them at a time?"
Gaius: "Try '300'. Remember, they're public thermae."
- Flame pauses and thinks of the idea of several dozen Pokémon sharing bathwater with each other -
Flame: "... Yeah, even without my tail flame, I'm not seeing the appeal there." >_>;

"Huh. Strange," Flame muttered, "I wonder if others had our same idea."

Gaius looked behind them to make sure nobody was listening in. "Actually, I heard other officers have started digging secret stashes outside of town. Who knows? We could always go on a treasure hunt."

Flame: “Thaaaat sounds like a fast way to get lynched, just saying.” ._.;
Gaius: “Hey, you’re the one who thought it was a good idea to rip off a legionary, you’re not allowed to criticize my proposals for marks!”
Flame: “Gaius, it was a couple berries he’d never miss! Not his life savings!” >.<

While Flame reflected on the hidden implications of that statement, the alleyway ended abruptly, and the three of them emerged into the town's market square. Vending stalls seemed to pop up all over, consisting of mere wooden poles holding up ragged cloths, atop which bird pokémon perched on and took off. The whole square was in a commotion. Crowds numbering in the dozens of Pokémon strong stood huddled around a few stalls: there were yells of anger from all sides, and he noticed more than one physical confrontation developing to his right.

Is this normal? Flame could not help but ask himself. It didn't seem too far-fetched for that to be normality the case, yet something felt particularly off today. An air of discontent and mistrust, a pungent smell shooting up his nostrils—just like those glares they'd received beforehand.

His teammates' faces suggested that they felt uneasy just like him. Yet he followed them regardless through a less dense section of the market, eyes skirting over every object on sale. Amongst the few items visible behind the infesting proles were foodstuffs, like bread and, fruit, and berries. But here and there, he could also see assorted baubles like fortune amulets, claws, horns, and other small mementos with no apparent value.

It took a surprising amount of time to shove and charge their way through the suffocating mass pressing from all directions, before they finally took a breather in an empty corner behind the cobalt roof cover of one particular stall.

Another wording nitpick, but unless Flame has a particularly dim view of proles, he’d probably have a more neutral term than ‘infesting’ regarding them in his thought process. Since he lives in a setting where the only non-Pokémon life that they know of are bugs, and ‘infesting’ is a pretty explicit comparison to them. Using one of ‘thronging’, or if you want to still keep hints of the comparison, ‘scurrying’ would probably fit better unless if the point is that Flame has already started viewing the proles with contempt.

Flame: “Yeesh, this place is a madhouse! You shop like this?” ._.;
Alice: “To be fair, we’re usually raiding the dumpsters right outside, but… yes?”

As he panted, Flame took one end of the cloth and wiped his forearm clean of all the sweat and grime he'd collected from colliding passersby.

Flame: "... Just how many Pokémon have I been bumping into here?"
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"What in Mew's name is happening here?" Alice took a relieved breath, "I've never seen this much of a ruckus before—[it's like they weren't even paying attention]."

Gaius took the bag off his shoulders, opened it and rummaged inside. "If you ask me, either Ariel increased the prices, or some item went out of stock."

Okay, so while I was able to piece together that the bit in brackets is referring to the proles, something about it feels a bit hazy and vague. Even something as simple as “it’s like those proles weren’t even paying attention” would clear things up considerably, even if I’m not sure if that’s what the intended sentiment was there.

Flame: “W-Wait, but if Ariel raised the prices, are we still going to be able to afford that breakfast?”
701630550720512120.png

Alice: “I mean, we didn’t hear anything about it coming down the pipe yesterday, so how bad could it be?”
Gaius: “... That’s a jinx if I ever heard one.” >.<

The Grovyle fished a handful of coins from his bag—about five or seven—and dropped them into Flame's palm.

"Here you go. Shouldn't take more than five thousand," Gaius said, strapping his bag tightly around his shoulder, "Go buy that cheese now, it's right here at this stall. The two of us will go see if there's any bread left."

Flame: “Half of our budget is going to a slice of cheese?” ._.
Alice: “Er… yes? Again, we do need to maintain our present standard of living before today to make our reward stretch a full month.”
- Gaius scoff -
Gaius: "You know, just saying, wine was going for around 1000 Poké a cup back at that café if we changed our minds here."
Alice: "... Perhaps we should go with olive oil as the topping instead."
Flame: "Hey! You were excited about this cheese! And it shouldn't be that hard to scrape together 5000 Poké, right?"
- Gaius and Alice shoot back frowns as Flame thinks back to how he almost died over 12,000 Poké in Chapter 3 -
Flame: "... Right. But the point is, let's not worry about that right now!"

With that, his teammates departed for another direction drifted off from the stall, disappearing into the thick crowd within mere instants.

Flame just stood there, collecting his thoughts, shifting the coins in his own paw. He clasped his claws round them tightly: with no bag to hold them in, all it would take was a quick push from behind, and they'd slip out of his grasp.

- Flame looks around at all the Pokémon jostling about in the marketplace -
Flame: "Yeesh. Wouldn't it be safer if I kept these in my mouth at this rate?"
- Cue Gaius’ voice crying out from the distance -
Gaius: "You swallow those, and I'll cut them out of your stomach!"
Flame: "Nevermind! I'll stick to holding them! (How did he even hear that?!)" o_o;

Fair enough, Flame nodded to himself, breathing in, This shouldn't be too difficult. Hopefully I won't have to wait in line.

Taking great care to avoid making contact with passing pokémon, he walked round the other side of the stall. Indeed, there was no line there, so surely he'd be able to get this over with right away.

He rested his arms from the elbow down on the wooden counter separating the various wares. Then, he raised his eyes to take a gander at the vendor. A most peculiar sight befell his eyes: it was a bipedal, blue-scaled behemoth, with orange gills jutting out of its cheeks and two black fins acting as crests of sorts.

The Swampert stood still for a few seconds, eyes lost into nothingness before peering its eyes down at the new arrival. It didn't even greet him; only grunted in a minimal form of acknowledgement.

Flame: “Er… hi? Slow day?”
Swampert: “Meh, I wish. So what are you here for?”

Flame scanned his eyes across the wares in front of him, feeling a slight pressure from being observed while doing so. On the counter there were neatly aligned crates of fish, clams, wheels of cheese, slabs of meat bathed in salt, and some items he could not identify but whose colour satisfied the eye. Right after he was done inspecting the stall’s wares, his attention darted back to the cheese. It was a half-way between yellow and orange, looking surprisingly pristine—especially considering what his taste buds were accustomed to. Had it been realistically physically possible, he would have devoured everything with a mere look.

Wait a minute, are those unidentifiable items supposed to be sausages? Since that would certainly be on the menu for a Roman-themed setting. If so, it might make sense to more explicitly hint at what they are such as calling their shape “vaguely cylindrical” or something like that.

"This one," said Flame, pointing with a claw, "How much is a slice?"

"Thirty-thousand poké," the vendor said.

Flame hoped he'd misheard that number. "What? T-that's preposterous! Maybe you didn't understand; I asked for the—"

"Miltank cheese. It's thirty-thousand. Take it or leave it."

Alice: "Gaius, you did remember to talk Flame through what cheeses we could afford with the money we gave him, right?"
Gaius: "Oh come on, it's his first time buying cheese. How hard can it be just to ask a shopkeep what the cheapest thing in stock is and work your way up from there?"
- Cue distant shouting -
Flame: "30,000 Poké?! What on earth is this highway robbery?!"
- Gaius facepalm -
Gaius: "Ugh... right. Guess I probably should've given him that primer first."

For a couple of seconds, Flame was left with his maw hanging open much like a buffoon. No, he couldn't possibly afford that. There must have been a misunderstanding somewhere along the way. Had Gaius underestimated the price? [Yet there was a substantial difference between eight thousand poké and more than thrice that amount; his leader's memory could not have been so grossly wrong.]

"E-even for the smallest slice?" Flame asked breathlessly.

"I'm not making discounts," the Swampert vendor repeated, as he set his three-digit paw on the counter. Those eyes were looking down at him, simultaneously puzzled and irritated at such obstinate persistence.

For the bit in brackets, Gaius is technically almost off by 4x there, and it might make sense to write along those lines. Additionally, it probably flows a bit smoother reordering the clauses and adding a couple deets kinda like so:

[ He supposed his leader's memory could’ve gotten the price wrong, but he wouldn’t have gotten it this wrong. There was a substantial difference between eight thousand poké and a price that was almost four times that amount! Why that was more than half of their entire pay from their last mission! ]

Biting his lower lip, Flame crossed his arms together. Right then, he decided that he would not walk away empty-handed from the stall. "I was told it costs less here. What the hell happened to cheese being eight-thousand?"

- Gaius' eye twitches in background -
Gaius: "8000?! Flame, you moron, I told you it should be 5000 at the most! You're supposed to start haggling below the price you want, not above it!" >.<
Alice: "Gaius, maybe we should go over and help him if he's having that much trouble." ._.;

"You must have not gotten the memo, kid. Rules are rules. And if that bitch says prices go up, prices go up."

Gaius: "Wait, 'that bitch'... as in Ariel?"
Alice: "Maybe he's bluffing. Ariel wouldn’t just hike the prices almost fourfold without us hearing any word of it coming down the pipe. Everyone in Camp Tempest has to endure these prices!"
- Beat moment -
Gaius: "... Unless we just spent yesterday in a Mystery Dungeon and then avoided town for most of the day afterwards." >_<;
Alice: "... Right. That was a thing, but let's give Flame another chance before we step in. If Ariel really did raise the prices, we might need to go for that olive oil after all… if we can even afford bread." ._.

Feeling a nerve twitch in his neck, Flame grit his teeth and slammed his own paws on the counter. "I'm not leaving. The most I can give you is ten-thousand."

Flame: "... Wait, do I even have 10,000 Poké in between these coins?"
Swampert: "If you have to ask yourself the question, you obviously don't. Now get out of my shop."

"Don't have the money?" the vendor hissed and hunched his face forward to meet his, "Stop wasting my time, then."

Alas, it was a lost cause. Flame had to restrain a sudden impulse to impale those white, fleshy orbs with his claws—yes, it would shut him up nicely. But he abandoned the idea immediately; the Swampert stood at almost twice his height, and would surely wash him away in any real fight.

701630550720512120.png


Given that he actually does this to another Pokémon in about 4 chapters, it makes me wonder if Flame has pulled off magic tricks where he made his claws ‘disappear’ on at least one prior occasion in the past given that the idea is crossing his mind.

For perhaps five seconds, resentment made him careless, and he stepped away from the stall without so much as a preliminary glance to the crowd. However, something halted him just beside the stall it, out of view from its owner. Breathing in furiously to stop himself from shaking, he clenched the coins in his fist further.

Perhaps he ought to relax. To any sane individual, getting so worked up over such a trivial happening might have been considered deeply unhealthy. And perhaps it was. Yet, Flame just wouldn’t let the matter go. Surely Team Phalanx deserved at least one day of comfort and tasty food!

Flame: “To be fair, getting surprised by almost 300% food inflation overnight is probably stretching it for the definition of a ‘trivial happening’. How are there not bread riots right now?” >_>;
- Cue shouting and objects being thrown in the background -
Flame: “Er… maybe I spoke a little too soon.”
701630550720512120.png


Calm down. Calm down. There must be other stalls selling cheese, he twisted his head around. Nothing. Each stall attracted a crowd so dense as to block any view of its products, much less encourage him to stand in line.

Then it dawned on him: he did not have to necessarily pay for the cheese. After all, he'd come here well-intentioned, and if the vendor refused to be reasonable, then nothing would stop him from obtaining his goal via other means. A small portion of his mind attempted to call out the folly in stealing, but much of his psyche disagreed.

Alice and Gaius do this all the time, it can't be that bad, he thought.

- Flame looks back as the Swampert leans disinterestedly against the counter -
Swampert: “For the record, you try and nick my stuff, and I’ll make you into sausage, kid.”
Flame: “... Okay, I should probably feel just a bit less confident about pulling a fast one on a ‘mon whose primary and secondary types are both strong against me.”
701630550720512120.png


Suppressing his breath, he approached the cyan-tinted stall again. Now a pair of pokémon approached the Swampert's stand—two Flygon. Perhaps Imperial Army officers, like Alice had mentioned. They asked for something.

In truth, he did not quite hear the three’s conversation, his thumping heartbeat masked their exact words. The verbal exchange continued for a good ten seconds. At some point, one of them would surely turn and notice him staring eerily for—oh!

This was it: the Swampert turned round, leaned down, probably to sift through a crate's contents. Hastily Flame's eyes glossed over [each ware; the fish looked tempting, but time did not favour his cause]. He'd settle for those slices of already cut cheese lying nearby.

It was spontaneous; for a moment he lost his inhibition. He snatched the items and ran.

Oh hey, there’s a webcomic panel for this sort of mood. :V

Screen Shot 2021-11-17 at 2.27.47 AM.png

Though for the bit in brackets, I’d recommend having Flame go through 1 or 2 additional items he considers along with the fish before settling on the cheese and booking it.

[Exaltation] boosted his legs as he missiled shot through the crowd with astonishing efficiency faster than he thought physically possible. He could not ascertain couldn’t whether someone had shouted 'thief' from behind him just now, nor how many slices of cheese he was carrying in all his claws. No mental energy could be diverted from pushing obstructing pokémon out of his path to gain however much distance possible from the Swampert.

When Flame reached the opposite side of the square and could run no further, he quickly identified which the small alley they'd entered from and slipped inside its shadows. Resting his back to the wall, he panted heavily. A dumb grin remained plastered on his face. He looked down at both his paws: one still squeezed that small amount of money securely, while two pieces of slightly-shredded cheese lay in his other palm.

For the bit in brackets, ‘Exaltation’ is wrong there, since that’s basically ‘Honoring’ as an act. You want ‘Exultation’, since that’s ‘Lively joy’ or ‘Celebration’ as an act. Though something about the fundamental structure still feels off to me even after doing a direct typo fix. It might make sense to formulate it more along the lines of “A sense of triumph” or the likes.

[Hopefully neither Alice nor Gaius would complain about unwashed paws, he hoped.]

Wow, and to think I told myself that I'd never stoop to this level… Flame let out a bittersweet frown. It did not make much sense, to feel ashamed for wanting to help. Whichever way he acted was acceptable, he tried to convince himself, so long as it brought joy to his teammates' faces. Indeed, was not that his final purpose?

Perhaps his friends would eye him wearily for such distasteful tactics—most certainly Alice.

For the bit in brackets, I think that it makes sense to redo it as a direct thought and just attach it to Flame’s direct thought in the very next paragraph. Since it feels a bit jarring to have an indirect thought in the style you use there and then a direct one back to back like that.

As for the underlined bit, I actually don’t recall Flame ever internal thought-ing him having Pokémon that he was just flatly not willing to steal from earlier in the story. Like he was taken aback after finding out that Gaius and Alice occasionally mugging proles to get by, but he was pretty “they do what they have to to survive” about it in short order.

It’s probably something that should be explicitly slipped in at some point in the past, or else the framing of Flame’s internal thought process should be something more along the lines of “I never would’ve seen myself stoop to this level”

Gaius: "Flame, you literally just stole from a legionary yesterday. Alice even complimented you for it. What on earth is this sudden guilt complex crap that's going on?"
Alice: "... If he did get spotted, what exactly is our game plan? Since we kinda need to come back to this market in the future." ._.;
Gaius: "I dunno, why don't you ask the genius here who doesn't understand how to sniff out a low-risk mark what his brilliant plan is?"

I just hope prices haven't risen for everything. That merchant said it's Ariel who gets to decide. Why would she change things overnight? Why now?

If prices had skyrocketed amongst all goods, and not just luxuries—Flame dared not entertain the thought—then the fifty-thousand poké they'd so proudly collected would suddenly amount to naught. Perhaps a loaf of bread, berry-scented bread at most. [All in the blink of an eye!]

Flame blinked out of his thoughts as he noticed two familiar figures worm through the crowd. He caught their attention by waving and shouting their names, after which they reached him in the alleyway.

[The look on their faces did not inspire confidence.]

"How did it go?" he asked, perhaps a tiny bit rhetorically.

For the first set of brackets, the direction is fine, but I’m not sure if it quite works under the current phrasing. Since the prices didn’t update right in front of him, but rather overnight. As such, it might make sense to frame it along the lines of [All in a single day/night!]

For the second brackets, IMO expand it a bit to tell a bit more of what that look on their faces looks like. And if there’s any subtle difference in reactions between the two.

"Horribly," Alice spoke up, mumbling muttered, "We looked in three different stalls, and every merchant we came across was absolutely mental. Eleven-thousand poké? What did you they stuff the bread with, gold bars? I only saw ants inside!"

[The Dragonair's voice was frustrated and seething with bitterness.]

"Oh," Flame frowned, "So they raised the price of bread, too?"

Alice gazed back to the visual and auditory mess sight and sound of turmoil coming from the market square. [ ]

"Yes, and the whole square is in upheaval about it,” she said, before wincing and rubbing her tail tip tenderly against her body. “Ouch. Also, I think someone even stepped on my tail while I was out there. Ouch," she rubbed its tip against her body.

Alright, two brackets this time around, but the story is basically the same for both. Expand them with more deets for description, and maybe slip some internal thought process/reaction to them from Flame and/or Gaius’ end. Especially since if Alice has had to go through this song and dance with Ariel before, she likely has some opinions about what just happened, even if she might be a bit too wary about getting ratted out to openly air them.

Alice: "As risky as it was, I think Flame might have been onto something, Gaius. I guess Ariel really did blindside us. Just wish we could’ve found that out without my tail getting stomped in the process." >.<
Gaius: "You know we could've just ripped off a prole if we were that desperate and not risked getting in trouble with the whole marketplace!"

"But did you buy anything in the end?" Flame asked.

"Just a single loaf. Maybe it costs too much, but…" she paused momentarily, looking downwards, "I simply can't be bothered to scavenge again. Just this once."

Alice: "This... This just wasn't how I wanted to celebrate our big success… I don’t think we could’ve even afforded aliter dulcia with how much the prices were hiked." :(
Gaius: "You know, the Walnut Tree Café's still waiting for us. Only 1000 Poké a glass!"
Flame: "Gaius, if everyone here's had their prices almost quadrupled overnight, wouldn't your bar have done the same?"
- Gaius’ eye twitches before he throws a claw over his face -
Gaius: "I swear, I need to cut someone right now."

Gaius, who had stood and listened quietly, shifted his gaze to the Charmeleon's hands.

"Uh, I see you actually bought what we asked for," Gaius pointed with a claw, eyebrows raised, "How … how did you manage to get the money? [Didn't we give you too little?]"

"W-well, I … didn't exactly pay for it," Flame said, accompanied by a meek chuckle.

For a few moments, Alice stared right into his eyes, silent. He definitely saw surprise in them, but couldn't quite discern which type.

For the bit in brackets, I think that it probably makes sense to formulate things a bit differently since initially, he thought he’d given Flame more than enough to work with. e.x. something like “We only gave you 8000 Poké, how on earth did you afford those with the price hikes?”

Flame: “W-Wait, is it really that surprising if I just ripped off Virgo yesterday?”
701630550720512120.png


"… Oh. I-I guess that explains the shouts I heard from where we left you."

[The tone charging her voice caused his heart to droop in a corner.]

"Look, I'm sorry," Flame bit his lower lip, eyes cast downwards, "But there was no other way for me to buy it regularly. I just didn't want us to have come here for nothing."

"Nonono, don't get me wrong," Alice forced another smile to reassure him, "Me and Gaius have to do it every now and then as well. Simply put it, I dislike stealing from others. It's nothing against you."

It probably merits expanding Alice’s reaction a bit more in the bracketed part, since the story is coming very firmly down on the “negative surprise” end of things here, but Alice is admittedly a hazy read as to the nature and nuance of her disappointment there.

Flame: “... Why do I get the sense you’re lying to try and make me feel better?” ._.;
Alice: “I’m not lying! I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”
- Gaius side-eyes Alice -
Gaius: "Again, Alice. You complimented him for ripping off Virgo yesterday."
Alice: "Yes, but Virgo is a pervert and I'm still mad about him embarrassing us yesterday. So screw him, he doesn't count." >_>;

"Come on, don't listen to her," Gaius chuckled, amused, delivering a mock punch to his shoulder, "You did good. Man, what happened to you? If you keep surprising me like this, I might just start tolerating your presence."

Gaius: "I mean, you were kinda sloppy to get spotted like that, and normally I'd give you crap for it. But the whole town's angry with all the shopkeepers right now, so I doubt you stood out that much."
Flame: "Er... thanks?" ._.;

Flame chuckled along half-heartedly, hoping to sweep his less-than-moral methods out of his friends' thoughts.

"How about we get away for now?" he said, throwing a brief glance towards the market square, "I doubt that merchant's going to look for us in this mess, but I'd rather not take the risk."

Motioning his teammates forth with a paw, Flame retreated down the alleyway, back in the direction of Camp Tempest.

Albeit Even though they'd technically obtained what they came here for, the a palpably uneasy atmosphere seemed to hang in the air around Team Phalanx throughout their walk was one of palpable uneasiness.

Gaius: “For the record I thought you did good-”
Flame: “Gee, I wonder why there’s an uneasy atmosphere right now?” >_>;

"So much for the team base," Alice sighed and looked away, as she dodged a passing Rattata, "Guess we're back to eating berries every day. Again…"

To be fair, if they caught a few of those feral Rattata and a suitably constructed pot, they might have been able to set up a glirarium. Maybe. Dunno if the locals would count them as “close enough” to dormice or just find that gross.
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[Flame could not help but flinch, both mentally and physically]. There was an underlying melancholy in her Alice’s voice that almost made him want to hug her to make her feel better. Stroke those fluffy head wings and reassure her that things would work out, he pictured in his head. But would it such a gesture be seen as demeaning?

Ah yes, moving deep into “I-It’s just platonic!” territory already. Even if Flame’s obvious crushing there is not exactly requited just yet. :V

Though for the bit in brackets, it’s not wrong but something about it feels a bit dry in its current formulation. It might make sense to describe Flame flinching physically there, and then give a better look at that internal mental cringing he’s got going on internally.

- Flame stares at Alice as she visibly blinks -
Alice: “... Flame, why are you just looking at me like that?” .-.
Flame: “H-Huh?! Oh! D-Didn’t realize I was staring!” O///O
Gaius: “Oh, so Virgo was onto something about you two yesterday.” >_>;

"Hey…" he said, laying a claw on the back of her neck, "Look at the bright side. At least we can eat decently, even if it's just this once."

[While admittedly he hadn't said much, it seemed enough to lift a small smile back on her face.]

The Dragonair turned to him, visibly regaining her composure. "You're right. It's no use whining like this. It's been ages since I've had cheese—I should be grateful, if anything."

Would personally recommend adding a sentence or two to the paragraph in brackets there. Something about the current text makes it hard to really visualize Alice perking up even if that’s what the following dialogue and speech tag are written assuming.

Flame felt a small twinge of pride reverberate through his body—a mental sigh of relief along with a much-needed sense of reassurance. Even though he was powerless to do anything about the prices, he felt it was his duty in a way to do what he could to keep his teammates’ morale high nonetheless. A short moment of silence ensued as the three of them exited the greasy alleyway and backtracked through the similarly unkempt slums from before. A part of him wondered why Gaius did not wish to commence didn’t want to just start eating as they walked at once; then he remembered that the proles would not hesitate to jump at them like insects at the naked sight of fresh bread.

Another bit where you technically haven’t already established that in the past. The easiest fix IMO is to emphasize that it’s something he was told about, e.x. “then he remembered Gaius’ warning that [...]

Flame: "... Wait a minute, how have the proles not started to kill and eat each other if they're that desperate for food?"
Gaius: "Well, getting found out and publicly executed in slow, agonizing fashion is a big deterrent. But it wouldn't shock me that much if a few of them actually had started to do that."
Alice: “I mean, if we’re seeing feral Rattata scurrying about still, they can’t be that desperate… I hope.”
701630550720512120.png


Soon enough, after no more dilapidated insulae followed, and the cacophony of strident voices ebbed away. The same upward slope the three walked so many times to and fro Camp Tempest appeared. The encampment's lone guard tower loomed against swirling, tar-black clouds. He thought he spotted its guard kindle a torch to ward off the cumulating massing shadows.

It was then that Gaius spoke up.

"Anybody wanna eat?"

- Flame looks up at the sky above them -
Flame: “Wait, right now? But it looks like it’s about to rain! Shouldn’t we at least wait until we get back to our tent?” ._.;

[Gleeful approval came from Alice without delay.]

Although Flame shared a certain kind of anticipation, [he waited a second before speaking]. "Out here? What if it rains?"

Gaius shrugged, wandering over to a patch of roadside grass. "Then we get wet. We’ll cover the bread, if need be."

Okay, a couple of bracketed bits here.

For the first one, I feel that it makes sense to explicitly give Alice some dialogue since it better gives insight into the nature of the approval she’s giving. e.x. “Of course! I’ve been drooling ever since we left the marketplace!” hits different notes/vibes than “Of course! Wouldn’t want to tip the entire camp off to our windfall, would we?”

For the second one, I think expand it / add another sentence to have Flame more obviously notice the dark clouds overhead, since the text as-is doesn’t really give hints as to his thought process before he brings up his “... Wait, are we sure?” reply.

- Cue collective stomach growls and Team Phalanx trading looks -
Flame: “... Okay, I’ll admit that’s a good counterpoint.” ^^;

"Yeah, easy for you to say..." Flame huffed, paw instinctively clutching his tail tip. [Nevertheless the Grovyle immediately detected a certain lack of resistance.]

"I've heard of Charmanders who learnt to swim right out the egg," said Gaius, plopping himself down, "Don't tell me a few drops are too much for you to bear."

Something about this lack of resistance feels more told than really shown. A relatively easy workaround might be to do something along the lines of: “Flame [had thought process/body language here about wanting to just eat]. Gaius seemed to pick up on it, and hovered his paws over the team’s bread loaf.”

Flame: “Yeah, okay Gaius.” >_>;
Gaius: “Look, if you’re opposed to the idea of eating now, either pipe up or shut your trap.”

When no objection followed, Gaius took it as a green light. Their leader grabbed a lonely loaf of bread—around the length of his forearm—and carefully brought his leaf blade down akin to a guillotine. It broke into two rough halves, causing scattering a shower of crumbs to scatter all over about it.

Flame nodded courteously as he was handed one half. He gazed down with perhaps too much zeal. It looked so much purer, so much softer than what the bread his teeth were accustomed to!

The Grovyle dug the twin slices of cheese out of his bag; gingerly he slashed the fresh bread one of the fresh loaf’s halves open and taking care without to avoid spilling too many crumbs—after spending eleven thousand poké on the bread, for each and every last one was precious—and inserted one of the two pieces of cheese inside.

At once, Flame's own piece received similar treatment, and now, the bread stood firmly within his grip, flaps of cheese dangling from the sides, his mouth salivating involuntarily. Neither of the two items emitted carried much of a scent smell, but he figured it was already an improvement over the stench that had slowly become normal for him.

Had it been good custom, he would have gladly begun licking the individual breadcrumbs scattered on his claws.

- Gaius side-eyes -
Gaius: “You’re seriously worried about table manners when we dumpster dive for food?”
Alice: “Oi, it’s the principle that counts, Gaius. We don’t have to constantly eat like slobs!” >_>;
Flame: “... (Rats, I actually would’ve licked up those crumbs.)” >.<

Just when his jaws nearly clamped down on his meal, the expression on Alice's face stopped him mid-act.

"What's wrong?" Flame raised a bemused eyebrow.

That question answered itself wordlessly when he noticed that she held no meal in her tail's end. The Dragonair did not speak, though her features revealed a tiny bit of annoyance.

That might be a problem, he thought, alternating looks between his piece of bread and the one in Gaius' paws. The Grovyle sank his teeth into his, wholly concentrated, only noticing the dilemma after a second bite.

Alice: “I can’t believe you two sometimes. How much effort would it have been to just cut the loaf up twice?” >_>;
Gaius: “Hey, in my defense, you could’ve spoken up earlier.”
Alice: “Gaius, I was right there! I’m literally your senior teammate!” >.<

"Uh-oh. There's only two slices. Plus two pieces of bread," Gaius uttered while chewing, careful not to spit anything, "Looks like someone'll have to eat less."

Alice: "You know, you can just cut the bread slices again so that way we all get some..." -_-;
Gaius: "Kinda hard to manage that when a good chunk of it already went down my gullet."
Flame: “But you’ve got at least half a loaf still in your-!”
- Gaius greedily snarfs down more of his bread and glares daggers back at Flame -
Flame: “Oooookay, then. (Yeesh, he almost looked like a cornered feral for a second.)” ._.

A momentary silence cloaked overtook all three of them. They exchanged looks with one another, but nobody seemed to gather the will to volunteer.

Ah, just what we needed…Flame cursed mentally. His claws seemed to dig further into the hardy crust for a few seconds. A bit of it was chipped off. Biting his lip, he exhaled audibly, and extended his half-loaf in Alice's direction.

"Take it," he said, "I can wait until dinner."

Wow, not even offering to share a part of it, but the whole thing, huh? Guess Daedalus really was onto something later on with that remark of Flame not looking out for his own happiness.
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[The cobalt-scaled dragon proceeded to eye him as one would eye a lunatic.]

"Surely you’re joking? Don't be ridiculous—we can divide it up again."

Would personally show Alice’s reaction in more detail and split her dialogue off from it.

Alice: "Again, it's not that hard to divide food up a second time!"
Flame: "Yeah, well I'm trying to make a nice gesture here, alright?"

"But it's already quite small," Flame insisted, "I-I can't possibly make you eat so little. Take it," he extended the bread in her direction again.

Alice held her tail up in a blocking motion. "No, no, split it. I insist."

"Really, I'm not that hungry right—

"Flame, I refuse to eat that other half. Throw it away, if you truly want."

Flame: "Oh for crying out loud, Alice. Is this some sort of pride thing? A chunk of my loaf is already gone just from holding it!" >_>;
Alice: "I mean it, alright? Either let me have this, or let some feral have your bread."

[He knew that there could be no further negotiating. Although he'd be shirking his portion, on the other hand, he smiled.] So, the already smaller half-loaf was split once again, and he handed Alice her rightful piece.

"Guess it won't be me," Gaius shrugged with a grin, and tore another chunk out of his meal.

Something about the bit in brackets I feel comes off as a little disjointed. Not fully sure if the following aligns with your intent, but something along its lines might be worth considering:

[ He knew from the insistent look in Alice’s eyes that there was no point in further negotiation. A part of him still felt uneasy about acceding to Alice’s demand for such a meager portion, but he supposed it’d make him feel better than having her just discard it entirely. Besides, even if he didn’t have the heart to say it aloud, part of him was grateful that he’d still have some of the meal for himself. ]

- Alice and Flame stare at Gaius, who speaks with a full mouth -
Gaius: “What? If you two already worked out a solution, no need for me to get involved, right?”
Alice: “But you just- and- ugh, forget it. Hand me that quarter loaf there, Flame.” -_-;

Resting his rear against the tickly grass stalks, Flame shifted his attention to his now-diminished nourishment in his hands. In a few minutes, it had gone from looking enough to satiate him throughout the day to just enough to fit in his paws.

I'm in no real position to complain, am I? he shrugged mentally, and gave his rations a tentative nibble.

Waaaaait a minute, did all of that back and forth between him and Alice really take more than a minute? If not, I’d do something like “within the span of a minute”, since that’s the vibe I got from the dialogue.

Right away, the sweet, dominant flavour of cheese inundated his taste buds—nearly drowning out everything else. Salty yet one could feel the faint trace of oil and butter. The only reason his brain hadn't completely forgotten about the bread was its crust; as crunchy as a biscuit, so brittle that it cracked audibly when he pressed down with his teeth. Entire grains of it fell to the ground with each gnaw.

Mid-way through chewing, he dedicated a few seconds to throw a glance at his friends. Both had only taken minute bites out of their meal, likely to savour every grain. And—

Flame's heart jumped so much that, for a fleeting moment, he forgot about his hunger. It was the first time he'd seen sparkles in their eyes. Their [usual demeanour] seeped with traces of calm: eagerness behind each bite, Alice's tail swinging back and forth unconsciously, both within metres of him. The sight enthralled his eyes. He'd certainly seen what struggles Team Phalanx experienced daily, and heard them speak of years and years spent under even more austere conditions.

Yet, here they all were, sitting merrily by the roadside. Happy. Even as the first raindrops splattered against his back, he smiled.

This part at once makes me hungry and is still a fairly sad-cute moment to read given how much a meager little picnic like this is able to brighten the team’s day.

That said, I’d probably be explicit about what that usual demeanor is in the text. Especially if Alice and Gaius have different ones.

Flame: "... Have we ever considered ditching the Task Force to go and work on a farm? Maybe it can even be one around that Capri island Alice keeps talking about. I can't imagine it'd be harder to get food that way."
Gaius: "Considering how I’m pretty sure the only farms big and wealthy enough to need extra labor fill those needs by keeping slaves, good luck with that one."
- Flame sigh -
Flame: "Oh well, it was worth a shot."

Thunder boomed somewhere far-off, causing Flame to jerk in place recoil out of instinct. Rain still pelted his back. Once he sneaked snuck a look to the side to make certain none of his teammates saw his reaction, he kept his neck arced downwards, paws cradling his fiery tail tip.

At first it had only been a slow shower, but by the time they had reached Camp Tempest proper, it had settled into a ceaseless rhythm.

Whose idea was it to put a bulletin board under the god-forsaken rain? Flame struggled to hold back a grimace, his throat starting to tighten.

inb4 it was that random Dewott’s since clearly whoever decided where the bulletin board ought to go wasn’t afraid of getting wet.
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"Can't you bring those fliers inside?" Alice raised her voice, "If it pours down any heavier, I think Flame's going to pass out. And I'm not exactly enjoying myself, either."

"Almost done," Gaius mumbled back, oblivious to their discomfort. When they arrived at the bulletin board, there were a mere seven fliers left affixed; and the Grovyle insisted upon reading each one, back hunched forward to act as a roof of sorts.

Wait, how on earth are those flyers even legible from the amount of rain that came down since the last scene? :V

- Flame flails trying to shield his tail fire -
Flame: “Argh! Gaius, would any of those listings even survive being taken off the board like this? They look soaked-!”
Gaius: “We’ll worry about that after we find something good here!”

Flame did not find failed to muster the energy to voice his discomfort. [Whereas other pokémon might have found raindrops to be minor annoyances—water-types enjoyed them, those wretched beasts—he likened the experience closer to painful chunks of ice]. No, pinpricks. That's what they were, tiny pinpricks leaking cold through to his bones.

"So? What is it?" Alice said, forwarding a hint of impatience.

Something about the sentence in brackets feels kinda long and disjointed. It might make sense to try and cleave things into two parts with the hyphenated bit dropped. Kinda like something along the following:

[Other pokémon might have found raindrops to be minor annoyances, while still others like water-types—those wretched beasts—outright enjoyed them. For Flame, the experience of just standing there felt like something closer to constantly being showered with painful chunks of ice].

Alice: “Gaius, need I remind you that we’ll have a harder time with these missions if a third of our ‘monpower is keeled over?”
Gaius: “Hrmph, funny you should mention that…”

Gaius straightened his back, letting the various fliers get pummeled by rainwater, becoming soaked within seconds.

"Nothing," Gaius said plainly, "Absolutely nothing. 'Rebuild collapsed bridge'; 'interrogate suspected reactionaries'; 'reinforce the Fifth Legion in Colonia Basilea', and so on. One of them would involve travelling half-way across the province, and the other is out of our league."

"And?" Alice pressed on, "The bridge assignments sounds feasible to me. Besides, you can't possibly make me believe that there is not a single everyday rescue mission."

Gaius suddenly lifted his foot and kicked a small pile of dirt onto the damp flyers.

"There was one, problem is the payout is worthless," Gaius hissed, clenching his fists, "The payout is worthless. Fifteen-thousand poké? Sweat and grime for an entire day to earn nothing?!"

Alice: “I mean, we could buy a loaf of bread with that money.”
Gaius: “Alice, we’re not risking our necks for a loaf of bread!” >_>;
- Blink moment -
Flame: "Actually, would that be so bad? With how quickly the local money's losing value, why aren't these clients just offering payment in food and drink?"
- Gaius folds arms -
Gaius: "Hrmph, 'crawl this dungeon for us in return for some warm bread and olive oil' would sound pretty damn pathetic on an official listing."
Flame: "What, are you kidding? I'll take that over getting a bunch of zeroes that don't mean anything and having to dumpster dive an hour at a time for fruit!" >.<

"… So what do we do now?" Alice asked. The Dragonair alternated looks between her teammates, her scales—Flame noted—almost gleaming because of the rain.

Gaius cupped his face in his paws, then exhaled audibly. "I swear, if I see that lizard bitch I'll slit her throat out. Either that, or the proles will do beat me to it. If they do, I hope they burn down her villa, too."

Considering what happens to someone who was whining about Ariel’s fixed prices later in this chapter, I’m surprised Gaius has the courage to talk about his boss like this in the middle of a Civil Protection base. Now, it could be that everyone’s just in a really surly mood over suddenly having their savings quartered overnight, but otherwise Gaius should probably be described saying this in a quieter tone given… yeah, he’d have problems if someone happened to overhear him and decided to report him for this sort of talk.

[Flame had not opened mouth (it wouldn't have been right, to complain), yet it was becoming increasingly difficult not to openly yell at his leader's face.]

This bit in general feels like it should be reshuffled and focus more on why Flame feels an urge to yell at Gaius’ face. For instance, something like:

[Flame kept his mouth shut at his leader’s grumbling. It wouldn’t have been right to complain given their circumstances, but with the rain still shooting needles of pain through his body, it was increasingly difficult to not shout his grievances in the Grovyle’s face.]

Gaius: "Wait, yell at me? For pointing out the obvious that we'd barely earn enough from these jobs to afford a loaf of bread? How am I the bad guy here?"
Alice: "Gaius, just try to be patient, alright? Everybody's just a bit agitated from Ariel pulling the rug out from under us."
Flame: "Also, we're standing in the middle of the rain and my tail flame's getting doused. Excuse me if I'm not feeling chipper when I'm constantly in low-grade pain right now."

"… Gaius?" he said, amazed at how feeble his voice sounded right then.

Thankfully, Alice seemed to take notice of his plight. Another thunderclap crackled in the distance, this one just a tad fainter.

"We can call this off picking a mission out and stay home for the day, if you want," Alice told him, a little disappointed, "Stay home for the day. But, first of all off, let's get out of this gods-forsaken rain."

Reminder that while "god-forsaken" would be proper for Flame, Alice’s minced oaths would be built around the presumption of the existence of 'gods'.

Flame could only oblige, and trail after his teammates to the nearest roofed building., which, Despite being a just few hundred metres off, somehow it still demanded that they step through a lagoon of mud. He grimaced in the process, the gooey substance latching onto his feet and between his toes, only to notice that Alice had it even worse than him. Because of her serpentine body, most of her underbelly became coated with the filth. He told her not to fret; the rain would wash it off.

Surprised that the three of them didn’t have more of a reaction to the mud given that considering the time of year, it likely felt ice cold and highly uncomfortable for a trio of reptiles like them.

- Flame looks around at the lagoon of mud -
Flame: “Uh… are our tents even habitable in these conditions right now?”
401074476474957834.png

Alice: “I would assume they’re raised to try and avoid flooding, but now that you mention it, I don’t think the story ever specified that.” ._.;
Gaius: “Look, let’s worry about not freezing to death right now! My fingers are starting to go numb right now!” >_>;

Sweet, sweet warmth returned to his body the moment they pushed the twin doors to a nearby building open, leading into some kind of lobby area. There were numerous Civil Protection officers, not unlike Team Phalanx, huddled in groups of three or four—he took glee in noting the number of fire-types. None of them Charmeleon, though.

Flame set one foot in front of the other with extra care. The wooden pavement was one big puddle, and Team Phalanx's arrival likely did little to help. Besides that, he could still hear those infernal, phantom raindrops rattling in his ears, as if his body had yet to fully realise that there were none.

Flame: “Yeesh, with a showing like this, I’m starting to think that our tent did get wrecked.” ._.
- Alice shifts in alarm -
Alice: “Ack! Wait a minute! Our tent! Gaius! You should go back and-!”
- Alice trails off after noticing a few others staring at her -
Alice: “Er... Not bother with getting yourself wet since there’s nothing of value there?” ._.;
Gaius: “Smooth.” >.<;

That's probably why it took him a second to notice a massive Scizor shove another nearby Vulpix against the wall to reach them.

Wow, rude.

"Psst! Hey!" the Scizor waved its pincer to draw attention.

Team Phalanx halted collectively, staring up as the tall insectoid stepped ever closer. Light from overhead lamps refracted off the insectoid's red, metallic exoskeleton, making it seem gleamier shinier than it probably was.

"You three. Task Force Aegis?"

His voice was coarse, as though channelled via a metal grate. None of them responded, instead staring bemused, unsure of what to say.

Gaius: “You do realize that everyone in the room is from Task Force Aegis, right?”
Scizor: “Yeah, well I don’t want them. I want you.”
Flame: “Uh… A-Any reason in particular? I-It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with some business at the marketplace would it?”
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"Looks like it," the Scizor answered himself, eyeing the badges pinned on their bags, "I need your help with something. Come."

"Apologies, mister," Alice narrowed her eyes, "I don't believe we know each other. Who are you?"

The Scizor remained impassible, nonchalantly tapping the thin, imperial-purple scarf tied round his neck. "[ Imperial Army ]. Let me explain: part of my troops are tied down in Victory Square to control with controlling some ongoing unrest. That means bureaucracy won't allow me to launch a raid without recruiting more participants. I need two a minimum of two more, and you need a mission. Interested?"

Waaaait a minute, is this that exact same Scizor who was being a slave driver to them in Chapter 16 or so? Either way, you might find it relevant to just roll a name and rank since the army bug there’s almost certainly trying to impress Team Phalanx in order to rope them along. e.x. if wanting to pull a twofer at hinting at things to come plus make a sly history nod, he might introduce himself as something like “Captain/Princeps Posterior Paullus, Seventh/VII Legion, Tenth/X Cohort

Flame: "Wait, ongoing unrest?"
Alice: "... Sounds like we left town at the right time." ._.;
Gaius: "I mean, you saw how riled up everyone was at the marketplace. Are you two really surprised that there'd be bread riots afterwards?"
Flame: "Wait, but if there's rioting in Aesernia, why are you even considering launching raids right now?"

Flame turned his head to exchange looks with his teammates. Such a proposal would grant them something to do for the day, yet he could not help but shake a veil sense of wariness that came with dealing with anything regarding the Imperial Army.

He really didn't want to see Virgo or Yvaine again, either.

Gaius: “Okay seriously Flame, what on earth is with you and those two-?”
Alice: “I mean, I can’t speak for Yvaine, but I definitely don’t want to see Virgo again anytime soon.” >///<

"Oh. But s-sir, why us? Aren't there other pokémon fit for the job?" Alice asked.

"My colleagues would rather see my head roll than lend me their troops," the Scizor said, "All that's left here at Tempest are these lousy fire-types, and they whine like cubs at the thought of going out in the rain."

Surprised he didn’t say ‘nymphs’ given he’s a mantis, but meh. Won’t sweat it too much.

- Gaius side-eyes Flame -
Gaius: “Um… yeah, about that.”
Flame: “Hey, it wasn’t whining! Being out there genuinely hurt!” >///<

The officer barely seemed to acknowledge the glares directed at him throughout the room, shifting his eyes to Flame. "Your friend here looks tougher in comparison. So? What will it be?"

Flame blinked, caught unprepared by the compliment. He didn't quite mind—even if it did only serve to appease was obviously meant to flatter him into playing along.

Now it was Gaius who spoke up, arms crossed. "Sir, I'm sorry, Sir, but our current rank does not allow us to take joint assignments with the Imperial Army. Accepting would be against the rules."

Scizor: “... Are you seriously being a stickler for the rules when the three of you look skinny as rails? Has Civil Protection even been feeding you properly.” o_ó
Gaius: “(Obviously not if you can notice it.) Look, if we accept this mission, knowing our luck, we’re probably going to get caught and kicked out of Task Force Aegis.” >_>;

Flame leaned over to the side, whispering. "Oh, right. Even after we completed that mission, she still hasn't promoted us, did has she?"

"Damn right she didn't," Gaius murmured back, "Probably doesn't even care."

I mean, she only thinks of you three as hopeless incompetents and openly said as much in a letter addressed to the Emperor of Urbe, so…
803821849384583219.png


The Scizor let out a near-metallic noise akin to a groan. While outwardly impassible, a quick glance at its eyes revealed mounting impatience. "Look, I'll give you two days' worth of mess hall meals. Just a It’s just some simple raids on some insulae. Suspected reactionaries. My squad is competent and you’ll be in good claws: there will be no threat to your life."

Some little odds and ends for potential expansions for you there.

Flame: "Do you seriously expect us to break into some tenement buildings and cut down a bunch of half-starved peasants for two days' worth of meals?"
- Cue stomachs growling -
Flame: "... Okay, I'll admit, the offer sounds more compelling than I thought it would."
Gaius: "Honestly, he had me at 'two days' worth of mess hall meals'."
Alice: "It is just a bunch of reactionaries, isn't it? It's not like we'd be harming anyone who didn't deserve it..."

Still not entirely comfortable with what they were about to do, Flame acquiesced nevertheless. There were still a plethora of questions going unanswered in his head: why would Ariel raise the price of basic goods so abruptly? If they found themselves in trouble, how would the rest of Civil Protection cope? And the proles!

It was Gaius, in asserting his function of as their team leader, who turned to the Scizor. "We accept."

"Perfect. My team will rendezvous at twelve-hundred hours near Domus Aerelia. Be there."

Flame: “This… feels like a really terrible idea.” ._.;
Gaius: “Yeah, well the alternative is starvation, which I’d rank as an even more terrible idea.” >_>;

After the Scizor had stepped outside, Flame was left only with hushed blathering of the other pokémon in that lobby, and the rhythmic fizz patter of the rain leaking from outside.

He looked past the doors. It was still pouring.

Flame: “Did. Did we just accept this mission in earshot of everyone here?
701630550720512120.png

Alice: “I assume we kept things down enough to not be overheard? But let’s just hurry up and not make the legionary we’re counting on to get square meals from mad at us.”

At least we don't need to travel far... Flame grimaced as he struggled to keep pace with Alice and Gaius, hugging his own chest tightly, tailtip firmly within his protective grasp.

If such a thing were even possible, the rain had only intensified ever since entering those moody streets overlooked by in the shadow of Camp Tempest. It must have been high noon, yet telling with any kind of certainty was an impossibility whilst impossible with the way the storm clouds barricaded the skies above.

Cold spikes needled jabbed spikes into his concentration with each droplet of rain. He could not so much as take a single step without quivering visibly. On the upside, however, it almost also meant that the streets were near-empty—veiled under a thin layer of mist—and the grime which normally coated the pavement slowly washed away.

Flame: “A-Argh… why on earth did we ever agree to this?” @.@
Gaius: “Again, because the alternative was starving to death!” >_>;

"Come, let's stop under here over there for a moment," Gaius gazed back at him, pointing them to a small shop on the pavement surmounted by an awning.

"… Thanks," Flame muttered, mildly surprised at such thoughtfulness. Once beneath the awning, he began squeezing his eyes and shaking off as many droplets as feasible. Within seconds, a mild warmth began to spread—already as his tailtip's fire already began to danced jovially. The rain only sounded louder as it ricocheted off the overhead canvas overhead. On impulse, he pressed his body against the shop's entrance, perhaps in a vague hope that the owner had foolishly left it unlocked. No such luck.

"Don't worry," Alice said, "I'm pretty sure our mission is going to take place inside. Hopefully it'll clear up by then."

Gaius: “... Why do I feel like you just jinxed us?” >.<
Alice: “Oh come on, Gaius. Good things happen to us too! … Occasionally.”

"Hopefully," Flame replied, his gaze wandering all over. He could feel his thoughts become a little clearer with each passing moment. He realised that this might have possibly been the first act of kindness ever offered by his leader ever offered him. Perhaps things would get better between the two of them. Yet soon he would have to step outside his protective haven, and that did little to boost morale.

Gaius: “Oi! I’ve given you complements in the past! Are you really so ungrateful as to not let that count for something?” >:|
Flame: “With all due respect, but talk is cheap, Gaius. I’m allowed to still be surprised here.” >_>;

"Okay. Sorry for … y-you know, slowing us down."

Alice nuzzled his shoulder gently. "Don't worry about it. Heck, I myself can barely function during wintertime. Feels like your brain's encased in ice."

"Oh, Mew, don't remind me…" Gaius groaned, the grass-type cupping his claws over his face.

A wry smile crossed the Dragonair's face. "Come winter, I bet we'll be the ones having to apologise. Expect that tail fire of yours to be abused extensively."

Flame could not help but be infected by her smile. "Mobile torch and warm blanket? Man, I just keep on finding new roles to fill…"

I dunno if you already planned Task Force Aegis’ ultimate fate by this point in the story, but that comment about winter and using Flame’s tail fire has some… vibes in a second readthrough.
701630550720512120.png


Gaius interrupted them both by tapping his foot loudly against the ground. "Let's not loiter too long. We can chat along the way, if you want."

Any sort of glee in Flame's mind vanished as quickly as those words were uttered. With great reluctance, he swallowed back an impulsive groan and stepped forth into the rain.

The three of them marched along with further impetus greater haste, perhaps empathetic to his misery. Somewhere in the remote distance, thunder boomed. They passed by what Gaius said was Ariel's villa: he could not quite see it beyond the tall walls, overseen by Bisharp guards whose metallic armour gleamed moist as it refracted his passing tail fire.

If these legionaries are anything like Virgo and Yvaine, I'm going back to Tempest, Flame clenched his fists at the thought of those two.

- Meanwhile in Schrodinger’s vantage point, Yvaine flattens her ears -
Yvaine: “I feel insulted right now.” >_>;
Virgo: “Yeah, I know! I’m nowhere near as much of a killjoy as you! Why’s Flamey lumping me in with you there?”
Yvaine: “Excuse me? But you’re clearly the one he’s more uncomfortable around constantly badgering him with your licentiousness!”
- Cue a muffled shout in reply from the street -
Flame: “I don’t like either of you creeps!”
- Virgo pouts and folds his arms -
Virgo: “Hrmph. How’s a ‘mon who has that much fun with girls in public manage to have that much of a pole up his butt?”

Tightening his self-embrace, he spoke, struggling to maintain coherent syllables. "Have you two ever worked with legionaries before? A-apart from our escort, the other day."

Never turning directly to him, Gaius shook his head. "Nah, that fortress mission was a first. Never bothered to speak to one before. I can't stand the thought of those pompous twats faring better than us."

"R-r-really?" Flame said, "How? Do they get better pay?"

"Not quite," Alice chimed in, "Legionaries do not receive 'pay' in the traditional sense. However, they have a mess hall which serves breakfast and dinner rations every day."

So I actually didn’t realize it in my first readthrough, but that’s actually pretty consistent with how Roman legions operated in periods where the local currency was in freefall. Can’t tell whether or not they’re also employing indictiones to get that food or if that was similarly tabled after Pater Hadriani righted the ship for Urbe, but the absolute state of Aesernia Province would make me wholly unsurprised if they were.

[Flame stared directly at her.]

"That … t-that sounds amazing!” he exclaimed. “Why don't we enlist? It would solve all our problems with making ends meet!"

[Alice seemed to halt for a moment, as if caught unprepared by his statement.]

"I … suppose you're right, technically. I myself considered joining the Imperial Army when I first came to Aesernia. But…" Alice murmured, as her gaze drifted from his eyes. "What if we're forced to serve on the front lines? That Scum encampment back inside the fortress was small—it is dangerous to press one's luck. I just don't want to exchange [death by starvation for death by mutilation]."

Alright, some more brackets this time around.

The first two are basically the same quibble but for different characters, and that’s namely to show more of their body language and especially their internal thought processes before they start speaking.

The third bracket I feel like something is a bit clunky about the phrasing. I’m not fully sure what to suggest for making it snappier but perhaps something more ‘direct’ in prose like: “starving to death for getting hacked to pieces”

Flame: “O-Okay, never mind then!” O_O;
Alice: "Yeah, there’s a reason why I’ve stuck to Civil Protection. Also, discipline is... harsher in the Imperial Army, to say the least." ._.;
Gaius: "Wait, do they actually hand down sentences of decimatio in the army still? Or is that just a thing they bandy around as a threat to scare 'mons in line these days?" .-.
Alice: "Considering some of the stories I’ve been hearing coming off the frontlines, I really don't want to find out."
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Flame was so [enthralled] that the rain clawing at his scales became close to an afterthought. [She was right, he thought, no particular type of demise appealed to him over another.] Yet, none of them could ignore that lack of food [continued to weigh on their every step, with each sunrise, and winter looming ever nearer].

Alright, a lot of things that felt like they might be worth giving a once-over in this one paragraph, but not a lot are very straightforward.

For the first brackets, I would personally suggest something like “absorbed by Alice’s words”, since “enthralled” is more commonly used under its meaning where one is filled with a sense of wonder or awe or the like.

For the second bracket, it probably makes more sense to frame it in the sense of “She was right, trading one type of death for another was hardly a solution, or remotely appealing for that matter.” since something about the current construction feels a bit overly focused on “how I could die”.

For the third, something about the construction feels lacking in parallelism. It might make sense to do something like [continued to stalk their every step, with harm to life and limb waiting for them with their missions each sunrise, and now the looming threat of winter drawing ever nearer.]

"Yeah," Gaius said, "That, and the ridiculous recruitment fee you have to pay. Because of it, most soldiers end up being sons and daughters of rich Southern pricks."

"Actually, that doesn't hold true anymore," Alice pointed out.

Gaius scoffed. "Wait, are you being serious?"

[A vigorous nod followed by Alice.]

"There was a paper I found last time we went scavenging, dated a couple of days back,” she insisted. “It said that General Sycorax has announced plans to axe membership fees, in order to make enrollment more appealing."

[Gaius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.]

"Ah, great. Now Southern pricks can serve beside Southern proles,” he grumbled. “As if the Imperial Army wasn't already incompetent enough."

Same deal with these two brackets here. It might make sense to expand them and elaborate more on the two’s reactions and thought process.

[Flame scanned their faces for any signs. Both Alice and Gaius looked on quiescently in contemplation, still considering the topic. Doubtless it brought impulsive skepticism, but Team Phalanx needed to acknowledge every possible option.]

Let's just focus on the mission for now, Flame thought, just as the three of them turned a corner and detoured through a shanty scruffy prole street of nearly identical three-storey houses, only marginally cleaner due to rainfall.

Albeit Even though their given they had only been given a vague assembly point was kept sort of vague by the Scizor, it didn't take very long for them to spot a small gathering of six, maybe seven pokémon by the roadside. With the streets being nearly deserted, this had to be their temporary colleagues. He mentally praised their common sense them for having the common sense to standing underneath a fairly large balcony jutting out of a prole apartment, and quickly slipped under it himself, disregarding formalities.

Okay, the first paragraph seems to suffer from an issue where it has a lot of words but doesn’t really say a lot with them since everything’s kinda vague. Like what sign is Flame looking for from his teammates given that they were just talking about recruitment standards being changed up? What exactly are Alice and Gaius considering about their convo they just had? And what options do Team Phalanx need to consider in light of said convo?

Answer a few of those questions, and I think it’ll tighten up that paragraph considerably.

[All eyes turned to Team Phalanx.]

"Here's those civvies the captain sent us," sneered a snow-furred canine scoffed, garnishing a large scythe-like protuberance from its face. Flame had to take a step backwards to dodge an erratic swing when its owner looked to the side.

"That's us," Gaius nodded, "Is everything set for the mission?"

The Absol took a second to reply, seemingly forcing back a sneer. "Yes. Intel says our target lives just a few hundred metres out. Male, Combusken. Weather should make sure he's home. Come."

It probably makes sense to expand the first paragraph a bit. Both to cleanly establish the legionaries present in the party that are relevant enough to point out like that one Magmar and Wartortle. Also, it gives a sense of how they react to Team Phalanx, since we don’t get a clear read on the Absol’s demeanor through Team Phalanx’s eyes when they’d be able to very obviously pick up on if the Absol’s being condescending or mocking them. We also don’t get a firm read on whether or not the other legionaries share his general sentiment, or if they don’t agree with it but either can’t or don’t feel an urge to push back on it at all.

Also, is this that same legionary Absol who made the COD4 reference in Portus?

Flame: "... Didn't we just see this 'mon about to get executed like a day ago?" ._.;
Gaius: "Aesernia's big enough for more than one Combusken, Flame.”
- Think back to commentary re: 'sympathizers' getting executed -
Flame: "This is some sort of family matter thing we're stepping into, isn't it?" -_-;

The Absol motioned with his head once again, prompting Flame to jump back at from a swinging head-scythe. Their entourage of legionaries walked forth down the right side, close enough for snippets of speech to leak into his ears.

Flame: “H-Hey! Watch where you swing that thing!” O.O;

"What was he thinking, hiring three worthless sad sacks?" the Absol murmured to a goofy fire-duck creature.

"Shouldn't we trust the captain?" the Magmar replied, "He must have seen something in them."

"Nah, they're civvies—they'll find some way to mess it all up."

Flame: “I can already tell this is going to be a fun mission.” >_>;
Gaius: “Look just shut up and let’s just get this over with and get our food, alright?” >.<

Brow furrowed in internalised quiet animosity, Flame followed the legionaries from beneath balcony-to-balcony up to one of the many three-storey insulae dotting the street. This one actually featured a door—its wood chipped off, yet still standing. Claw marks could be seen all over, forming patterns as though they were impromptu graffiti. From the tail of his eye, he could have sworn he spied figures shifting from behind the cracked window.

"… 'Right, this is it," the Absol proclaimed as they stared down the door, "Know the basics of breaching?"

Team Phalanx gave one another a brief glance, remaining silent.

"Figures," the legionary said, displaying a pompous grin which only made his face more punchable to Flame.

Flame: “Wait, but Gaius. Don’t you know how to breach a room? You were using ‘Clear’ and other room-clearing lingo when we were with Virgo and Yvaine, so…”
- Gaius shifts flusteredly as the other legionaries stare at him -
Gaius: “I… uh… w-was trying to impress them?”
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Absol: “Tch. Why am I not surprised?”
Gaius: “(Flame, if you get us kicked off this mission, I swear I’m going to stab you once this is all over.)” >_>;

Gaius was containing his expression to display a staunchly neutral visage. The grass-type played with his forearms, eyeing his leaf blades. "Where's your boss—Scizor guy?"

If such a thing was possible, the Absol was locked in a staring stand-off. "The captain's not participating. As his second-in-command, I make the rules here."

Alice: “... Why on earth would we get recruited for a mission by a guy who had no intention of joining?” .-.
Gaius: “... (Knowing these pompous twats, he was probably lying about how badly he needed to get these missions done and probably ditched us to go out drinking or something.)” >_>;

Then one legionary, an overgrown turtle with head-wings almost as fluffy as Alice's, laid a hand on the Absol's shoulder. "Lieutenant, keep your voice down! Or else we'll blow our cover."

Gaius: "You do realize the text just mentioned there's windows right above us that every prole this side of the building could have seen us approach from, right?"
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Wartortle: “(That goes for you too, Grovyle! We don’t need to make it even easier for those proles!)” >_>;

Lieutenant Absol shot back towards his colleague at once, before finally giving in with a snort.

"Fine, then," the Absol said in a hushed tone, "Standard procedure. You three, line up behind me. Sergeant, get ready to breach."

Flame looked on along with his teammates as the six legionaries spontaneously took position by both sides of the door: five soldiers to the right, headed by the Magmar, whilst the Absol posted lonesome by the door's left. When the latter turned and growled, Team Phalanx expedited hurried along to avoid any further insults.

I'm still going to punch him when this is over, Flame grinned to himself, as he reared his soon-to-be victim. He was abruptly shaken out of his fantasies when he felt the ceaseless rain batter his scales like grape-sized hail. Whilst gritting his trembling teeth tight, he spotted the Magmar glance with a glimmer of sympathy. Glass shards poked at his feet; now that Gaius and Alice were in position, this torture would hopefully end once inside.

Absol:
youre_serious_futurama.gif

Flame: “Th-That was an unvoiced thought! You weren’t supposed to pick up on that!” >///<

Combusken. No idea what one looks like, so I'll just follow what the others do.

"On your mark," said lieutenant Absol, foreknees bent in preparation. A quasi An almost imperceptible black aura surrounded the soldier's head-scythe.

The Magmar nodded. Facing the door, it took two, three steps back, taking one long breath. Then, in the span of mere moments, it opened its beak-like mouth, and spat out streamed a jet of fire. Steam began hissed and swirled the air as waterdrops kept falling without care onto the legionary’s flamethrower attack. When the Magmar cut its onslaught short, Lieutanant Absol let out a violent cry and brought his charged scythe down on the weakened surface. The result was imminent: the door burst into a thousand pieces, scattered both inside and outside, leaving nothing recogniseable but sawdust and smouldering, steaming chunks of charcoal.

Gaius: “... Why on earth did you guys not just bring someone heavy with a ramming attack to just charge ahead and break down the door?” >_>;
Absol: “Look, not every squad gets a trained aries assigned alright? So shut the hell up, civvie.”
Magmar: “Plus I like putting my fire to work! It puts on quite the lightshow!”
Flame: “(I think I’m starting to understand Gaius’ doubts about these guys’ competence.)” >.<

Flame had not the time to uncover his eyes from the shower of splinters before the Absol dashed indoors, and the remaining team members scrambled to follow suit. His tail fire brought illumination to the gloomy first room. The very first thing his brain registered was a small chicken-like creature with red feathers and vestigial wings for arms shrilling sonorously loudly, flushing out of the room in a blur, its little feet tippering against the wooden floorboards.

"Search the building! Move!" Absol barked, already taking off into an adjacent chamber.

You probably want something other than “sonorously” there, since one of the possible definitions it has is an adjective describing something that can let out a deep, resonant sound while it’s basically used as “loudly” here.

Flame: “You know, this would be a real bad time for anyone inside to have something like a Blast Seed or a Totter Orb.”
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Gaius: “With how broke the average prole is? I don’t think we’d need to worry about it.”

And move he did. Flame wasted no time complying. Albeit The first room looked barren and dust-ridden—perhaps a former commercial venue—it remained connected with the rest of the apartment building via narrow doorways. He kicked over an oil lamp, the only object present on the floor, and gingerly crossed the doorway's threshold. This room was noticeably larger. Grime and dust coated each wall and even the ceiling showed off mold in between each plank. All of the windows were boarded up: only his own body's tail light allowed him to discern some four or five figures distributed spread out throughout the featureless room, which soon became closer to ten, gaping wide-eyed at the irrupting intruding soldiers.

S
uddenly the whole room was in commotion. There were yells of warning from all sides. Someone let out a feminine shriek, nearly toppling a bedside cabinet whilst shooting out of the room. A young Delcatty leapt out of the darkness just ahead of Flame, grabbed her crying kit by the scruff of its neck, and leapt away, all in one motion.

It took no time for murmurs and voices to envelop the whole insula like a swarm of flies.

"Did you hear that?"

"What's happening?"

"Civil Protection!"

"Run for your life!"

One of these days, it might make sense to get a more solid glimpse at why the proles are this terrified of Civil Protection. I mean, not that Ariel using them as her personal enforcers for lese majeste isn’t ‘helping’ with that, but something about how poisonous of a relationship CiviPro has with its community feels like it goes beyond the level of just middling peons abusing their power at their whim.

Though on that note, would that one random have been screaming about CiviPro when this is technically a raid by the Imperial Army? Not that I’d expect them to magically feel more at ease getting their door kicked in by them, but one would think that if anything that’d make them more frightened, since trained soldiers are an entirely different ballgame for opponents.

Flame: "Are... Are we- Is Civil Protection the bad guys here?" ._.
Alice: "I mean, it was only obvious it'd be a bit sketchy if you had any familiarity with Half-Life 2.”
Flame: “So wait, you mean that ‘pick up that can’ bit actually came from somewhere-?”
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Gaius: "Look, the Legionaries made it clear we're just here for one Pokémon, alright? We go in, get him, and leave. Simple as."

At the same instant, lieutenant Absol did not seem phased in the slightest—he halted only for the briefest of moments to gaze at the cowering proles in disgust.

"Target's not here. Move up along."

Team Phalanx moved room to room, each accommodating anywhere between two to four families ranging up to a dozen, surrounded by the simplest furniture: an occasional cracked oil lamp, filthy and ragged blankets whose sight evoked nausea in Flame. Hardly any windows were present, and even if it had been bright and sunny outside, he figured that most of the rooms would have remained in penumbra regardless. There was only a single functioning door beyond the former entrance. The second he neared it, an insufferable stench resembling that of faeces dung suggested it served as a communal bathroom.

Oh, please don't vomit now, he repeated in his own head, squeezing his eyes shut and flinching jerking his head away. How could proles possibly tolerate these conditions? To sweat endure a thousand more missions and wear his bones down to dust would have seemed more appealing, rather than spending one night in such squalor. Any one of those inhabitants might have been harbouring enough bacteria and disease to kill him outright. He drifted away from the inhabited chambers into a tiny passage further along the back, where a decrepit-looking set of steps led upwards to a further level.

Gaius: "Flame, we literally get a decent chunk of our meals from dumpsters. Knock it off with the theatrics."
Flame: "Just saying, even if Ariel didn't hike the food prices, if I knew Alice was daydreaming about having a base in a dive like this, I'd have told her it was a terrible idea from the get-go!"
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"Ground floor's clear. No signs of the target," said a legionary Wartortle.

"Understood. Sweep the second floor. Go!"

Lieutenant Absol led the way quickly up the steep and creaking stairs and along a tiny passage, into a room which gazed on the cobbled street. There was a strip of cloth on the floor masquerading as a carpet, a worn-looking stool, bits of food collected in a corner. One could hear the sound of drops leaking through the ceiling. Other than that, empty. The doorless balcony allowed whatever light present outside to seep in.

It was almost imperceptible—Flame noticed a shadow cast on the balcony's surface. As if setting off a chain reaction, the legionaries caught sight of his gaze, and followed the only logical conclusion.

"Thought you could hide, huh?" the exploded Absol exploded, who then charged onto the balcony and tackled the hidden figure on the ground. There was a gasp and a flurry as the rest of the legionaries flung themselves through the small doorway to aid their struggling companion. Neither Flame nor the rest of Team Phalanx did so, instead standing back with a sort of disinterest. Bound by curiosity, he merely allowed himself to peek through the doorway.

I don’t think that Lt. Absol is allowed to give anyone crap about not knowing how to breach when he just charged right in to do battle with a ‘mon with a type advantage against him instead of at least hitting him with a Luminous Orb first. >:V

A scene was unfolding before his eyes, with the Combusken laying with its belly on the balcony railing, legs up in the air, whereas the legionaries attempted to pull it back and inconvenienced each other in the process via from their sheer numbers. Eventually, though, no amount of kicks to the face proved enough. The Combusken was dragged back and slammed to the floor, Absol laying a paw on its chest.

"Officers! Please!" the Combusken cried, "Don't take me away! You already got my brother, what more do you want from me? It was him who insulted Ariel—not me!"

Flame: "Ugh... I knew that it was going to be something like this. But is badmouthing Ariel seriously an executable offense? Gaius literally does it on a regular-"
Gaius: "Flame, can you run your mouth off sometime when there's not six Legionaries right in earshot?!" >.<

"Why so eager to jump off, then?" Absol sneered.

No answer came from the prole, who instead seemed more busy holding onto the railing's metal bars with exceptional vigour for dear life. Alas, it would not last; a kick from a legionary's foot had broken the claws on one of his paws. They dragged him back inside, right under Team Phalanx's reluctant gaze.

"What are you even arresting me for?" spewed out the Combusken in a wheezed.

"Let's see…" Absol hummed, absentmindedly licking his paw's fur clean, "You're charged with counts of inciting unrest, civil disobedience, and … ah, I can't remember. Doesn't matter."

Flame: “Wait a minute, you can do that in this legal system?” ._.;
Absol: “Well, I just did, so what now?”
Alice: “(I’m pretty sure this is violating all sorts of historical legal precedent for our setting right now, but yes. Yes he can do that, Flame.)” -_-;

"No! I-I just said my merchandise wouldn't sell—never would I dare to imply that anyone should disobey the law!"

"Oh?" smirked Absol widely, half-sarcastic, half-mocking, "Do we have a confession here?"

Flame: "Um, yeah. Not gonna lie, that Capri place is sounding pretty tempting now." ._.
Gaius: "Oh for crying out loud, not this crap again from you too!" >_>;

The lieutenant did not listen to the following pleads of mercy and attempts at outright bribery.

Considering this ‘mon was too poor to afford a Totter Orb to chuck at the Legionaries coming in, I have to wonder what on earth he thought he’d be able to bribe them with.
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"Put 'im to sleep," Absol turned to the other team members, who proceeded to follow the order via force-feeding a palm-sized seed into the struggling thing's throat.

Gaius: “And you didn’t use a Slumber Orb at range why?” >_>;
Absol: “Because shut your trap, civvie! (Also because the story never established if those even work outside of Mystery Dungeons, especially at this point.)”

It was then that Flame noticed a small audience had gathered. Multiple heads peeked through nearby doorways, exchanging dark whispers, a few even climbing halfway up the stairs to look. Some of those stares he felt almost uncomfortable under, being an unsafe cocktail of contempt and curiosity.

Flame: “Again, now would be a real bad time for any of these guys to have dungeon items while we’re all here in the cramped, crap-smelling hovel.”
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Alice: “Ame-flay on’t-day ive-gay em-thay ideas-ay!” O_O;

Drifting around the room, Absol came about to open a small bedside chest, fidgeting with its dysfunctional locking mechanism and eventually just slashing it open with a claw. He rummaged for a little while before he grasped a quantity of coins just adept to fill his paws, staring in detached uninterest. As if enlightened by an idea, Absol then turned to Team Phalanx.

"Hey, civvies. Want this?"

Flame stared for a few moments. He inherently predicted a childish trick to gain a few laughs from them, but it couldn't hurt to try. His nod came out more sideways than he had intended. Eyes narrowed, he then took one step forward, unwilling to quite wear any sliver of gratefulness. [He extended his arm out—]

Ah! Now coins littered the floor, bouncing and rolling onto the balcony and plunging into the yard below, bar a few that stopped rolling and settled on the ground in a small, rhythmic dance. From behind he heard Gaius grumble some indiscernable obscenity directed at the Imperial Army lieutenant.

I think that it probably makes the most sense to describe the Absol whigging the coins away, even if it’s an unclear thing like [He extended his arm out and saw a white blur jerk away.]

Flame: “God, now I’m almost wishing those proles had dungeon items ready to chuck right now.” >_>;
Gaius: "Arceus, if I'd known this was going to happen, I'd never have agreed to this damned mission."
Alice: "We got what we signed up for, let's just hurry up and get these raids over with."

Within seconds, Absol's superior grin grew until it blew up in laughter, gripping his chest as to not lose balance in the process.

Waaaait a minute, how’s he doing this as a quadruped?

Flame grunted inwardly. He felt more bemused than properly furious. Looking outside, he took noticed that the rain had largely subsided. Maybe he wouldn't even need to stay in their tent all-day long.

"Come on, don't tell me you're going to act all offended over a few thousand poké," Absol laughed, "It was junk! Six-thousand poké or so. Weighs more than it's worth."

"Of course, you wouldn't need it for anything," Gaius uttered lowly in a low voice to his companions when the pokémon in question had turned around. Alice said nothing, merely emitted a tiny sigh imbued with patience.

Flame: “Um… yeah, I take back everything I said earlier about wanting to join the Imperial Army. God, I almost wish we’d gotten stuck with Virgo and Yvaine for this, at least they wouldn’t have pulled that stunt with the money.”
- Gaius raises brow -
Gaius: “Really? Since I’m pretty sure that Virgo was always ready to mock you whenever he felt like it.”
Alice: “To be fair, even if he did something like that I don’t think Yvaine would’ve let him get away with that, at least.” >_>;
Flame: “Yeah, and he’d have made some sort of funny quip, like-”
- Cue a voice from off in the distance -
Virgo: “Oi, Flamey! Check under his bed! That’s where Pokémon always keep their magazine stashes!”
Yvaine: “Virgo! Observe silently!
- Beat moment -
Flame: “I swear to god, why are those two still following me?” >.<

Absol seemed to notice that everyone was sort of standing in place with no real purpose. He barked something to the onlookers watching them from every doorway and began walking toward the stairs. Sensing an unspoken order, two of the bulkier legionaries among the team each grabbed one end of the Combusken's body, lifting the malnourished chicken with minimal effort. The unofficial team leader was precluded from leaving by a small ground of four or five pokémon obstructing the stairs, all of whom had gathered to watch.

"What is it? Clear the way!" said Absol.

The commoners stared back, those eyes burning with a fiercer impetus than Flame had imagined possible, but eventually they yielded, before the figures bolted downstairs and vanished into a doorway.

Absol: “Tch, proles, right?”
Alice: “I don’t think you should be so quick to dismiss tha-” ._.;
Absol: “Oh come on, what are they going to do, cry on me?”

Indeed Much as Alice had hoped, the weather had cleared, although the sky resembled nothing like a sunny day. The sphere of fire sun itself could be seen impressed obscured behind a barrier of clouds, thin tendrils managing to break through.

F
lame was drifting drifted back on a bench in an ill-traversed street, flanked by his teammates. A sigh escaped his mouth. He hadn't quite kept count of how much time had passed since those legionaries told them to wait in place. Perhaps it was possible that they would never come back. It was the Absol that said it, after all—doubtless the Absol lieutenant would convince his captain to withhold any reward out of pure amusement.

He turned to his teammates, wary. "Guys, do you … think they're actually going to give us those rations?"

Gaius: “If you have to ask the question...” >_>;
Alice: “I’m going to take the under on that one too, Flame.” -_-;

"No idea," Gaius shrugged without returning his look, "This whole mission was off-the-cuff, anyways."

Alice shifted uncomfortably in her coils. "You know, now that you mention it, they really have no incentive to show up. Maybe—maybe we did just waste a working day."

Flame: "Okay, so let's recap here. We just got suckered into raiding an literal crap-smelling hovel over promises of food by a Legionary who knew we were obviously desperate, helped arrest a 'mon over some bogus charge related to Ariel being unable to take criticism that's probably going to get him executed in a couple days.
Gaius: “You forgot the part where we got made to dance like Aipom by asshole Legionaries for money that can't even buy a loaf of bread.”
Alice: “And that we’re probably going to get stiffed on that food that convinced us to go along with this in the first place.” -_-;
Flame: “... I’m sorry, but just how could things be going any worse right now?" >.<

Flame wanted to say something. He wanted to add comforting words, if only to bolster his own hopes of compensation that they’d somehow be compensated. But those sounds faded in his throat, for his brain picked up on a most odd sensation. A feeble, nearly imperceptible vibration travelling down his bones. At first, he dismissed it as a mere physical hallucination, perhaps a phantom remnant of his time spent under the rain, yet to disappear from his nervous system. It did not cease.

He shifted uncomfortably in place, head twisting round to observe his surroundings. It wasn't just a sensation; the earth was actually shaking him to the core. Even Alice and Gaius seemed to stiffen all of a sudden.

"What the…" he blurted out, incredulous, "A-are you feeling this?"

Neither responded, but the mesmerized look in their eyes counted as an affirmative answer.

Gaius: “... You just had to ask the question, didn’t you?” >.<

First they felt shock-waves that penetrated the ground, and reverberated around them. They all stood there, incredulous, listening as an all-encompassing grumble became ever louder and the shaking ever more tangible. For an instant it would have seemed plausible that a colossal creature was growling underneath Aesernia's foundations. There was a mighty crash somewhere far-off as a heavy roof collapsed under its weight, followed by confused shrieks as proles flocked out of doorways and onto the streets.

"An earthquake. I-It's a goddamn earthquake!" Gaius repeated, springing to his feet, eyes stretched wide.

[Suddenly, the tremor had halted, along with the rumbling emitting from the ground itself.]

"I—I didn't think I'd ever get to experience one," Alice gaped, eyes bound in a kind of stupour.

"T-they're not common around here, right?" Flame asked, he too unconsciously standing up.

"No, as far as I'm aware," Alice returned an uncomfortable look, "The quake didn't feel very strong, thank Arceus. I … I think the epicentre must have been in a nearby province. There's no other explanation."

A couple of odds and ends, the main one that’s not in brackets that I’d like to call attention to is that Gaius’ line where he realizes they’re in an earthquake doesn’t really sound startled in its present delivery even though his body language is described as such. Make it a bit more animated and maybe make him stammer a bit, and it sells the effect significantly better.

I would personally expand the paragraph in brackets a bit to better show off what Alice/Gaius’ rough state of mind are there, along with some internal dialogue on Flame’s end. Since all of this is a new, terrifying experience to him. And the fact that his own teammates are scared of what just happened, and yeah, he’d presumably have some opinions about what just happened.

Alice: “Okay, at least now we should be good-?”

Another shock wave threatened to send them down on the ground. Thin cracks began appearing on a nearby building's façade. The three of them seemed to realise that standing there in the open would lead to nowhere.

"Let's get back to Camp Tempest," Alice said as soon as the aftershock settled, "I have a bad feeling about this."

- Cue earthquake and a few sucky buildings collapsing in the background -
Gaius: "Gods, can you two go one chapter without somehow jinxing us?" >.<
Alice: "Look. Let’s just get out of here before roving mobs of looters start going around, alright?" >_>;

"I worry for this great nation. Our Emperor continues to talk about this 'Ascension Programme' and how he has the protection of so-called 'Benefactors'. Albeit I refuse to believe it, his own words imply heavily that our state's sovereignty has been sold to external entities. If this were true … someone must take matters into their own hands."

Excerpt from Governor Marius Alakazam's speech at the Imperial Council.

Major “Marcus Brutus rallying the senators against Caesar” energy there. It’ll be interesting to see what becomes of Marius later on in the story, since from the tone he takes there, I sincerely doubt it portends anything good for Adrian.

Flame: "Agh! Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something earlier! I wanted to look at that 'Our Benefactors' book!" o_o;
Gaius: "I mean, it's a bit late now since we're on our way back to Camp Tempest already." >_>;
Alice: "Yeah, and the Library's probably a mess from that earthquake. I doubt you'd be able to find that book easily until they get things sorted out first."
- Flame grimace and shake head -
Flame: "I guess it can wait a little longer, but just who are these 'Benefactors' and why does it seem like this entire Empire's basically their plaything?"
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And that’s a wrap! Kudos for dusting off this version of your story and supporting it, @Shadow of Antioch . It’s been a genuine pleasure to look back at events with a fresh set of eyes and notice a whole slew of things that I didn’t quite pick up on in my first go-around, and I’ll be looking forward to the day when updates drop here concurrently with your other versions. ^^
 
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Chapter XIII: Disarray

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XIII: Disarray


"… While generally satisfied with His Imperial Majesty's servitude, Our Benefactors have expressed their displeasure at the unfortunate fact that the general populace continues to worship the Primeval Lords, especially after those very heresies have been proven redundant in the cleansing fire of Their power. The Commission is currently debating how to effectively inform the populace of the Primeval Lords' demise. However, so far it has proven challenging to find a method that would avoid uprisings amongst rural communities, many of whom have relied on the ancient cult for generations."

Imperial Commission of Divine Affairs, Report #165 – Vulcano Isle.


Within instants of the Zangoose lunging at him, Flame reacted out of pure instinct. His lungs contracted, and an impressive jet of fire streamed out of his mouth, engulfing the furry creature in mid-air.

Anguished screams were all he heard before he felt something crash into his prone form. All breath was squeezed out of him and his back erupted in pain. He was pushed away by the impact, unable to do much other than lie on the ground in a confused daze.

However, the adrenaline flowing through his veins swept all complacency away and beckoned him to get up. Now aware of his surroundings again, he scrambled to his feet, and looked to his side. The Zangoose was still laying on the ground, patches of its fur still alight, grunting in pain and making an effort to stand back up. No thought was required: he spewed another stream of flames, which merely drew further ear-ripping shrieks from the pained creature. Then—

He hadn't even withdrawn his flames when the Zangoose inexplicably jumped at him, despite the indescribable pain it must have been experiencing. He stepped back, yet it was not enough to avoid the pair of claws slicing at his outer thigh. The hit both caused him to hiss in pain and hit the ground belly-up once again. Something straddled his waist; sharp claw-tips prodded at his throat. With an adrenaline-fuelled grin, the Zangoose let out a deep, throaty growl driving more force behind its claws. Soon, panic told him, they would overpower even the protective layer of scales and lacerate his throat tissue to the core. Every instinct screamed at him to fight back, yet the barbarian did not react no matter how fervently he clawed and slashed.

The pressure was unbearable by now; whether because of those claws, or because of panic, his gasps for air amounted to naught. There—he could feel it: his scales were beginning to give.

Then, a green figure emerged from behind the Zangoose. Everything remained blurry, but Flame could hear grunts and choking sounds in the ensuing struggle. When his vision came back, the Zangoose's body lay twitching in Gaius' grip, a leaf blade impaled halfway through the creature's throat. Blood spurted from its wound and onto its white fur.

Some trickled onto his very own chest. When he tried to swipe it away with his claws, it would not come off. Grimacing, and—admittedly—somewhat disconcerted from the crude scene he'd just witnessed, Flame stood on wobbly feet, paw clutching the spots of pain still dotting his neck.

Gaius let go of the body, retracting his leaf blade from the body and letting it fall limp on the ground. His leaf blade still trickled profusely with the dark red liquid.

"Get moving, you goddamn slowpoke! We don't have time!" the Grovyle barked.

Shaken out of his complacency, Flame dashed forth towards where the remaining Scum last were. Here, Alice was firing near-continuous ice beams from her snout to keep the Manectric and the Tangrowth before her at bay. Though her constant harassing was proving successful, her movements were becoming sluggish, laced with fatigue. A sudden lightning bolt from the Manectric caught her unprepared. It was clear she would not hold them off for much longer.

Flame rushed ahead into the fray; he breathed a small tongue of fire towards the unholy plant monster, hoping to steal its attention. His plan worked: the plant creature drew back in pain, and set its tiny eyes on him. A smirk briefly overtook his face. This would allow his team to focus on one target at a time, and, due to numerical superiority, win. But would they make it out of the city? New dilemmas loomed in his mind. Fighting would surely take precious time—how, then, could one possibly hope to overcome these enemies and escape all the same?

He failed to notice his descent into deep thought until the Tangrowth swung one of its large arms in his direction. Panicking, he clumsily dove out of the way, and was met with vines shooting out of its intricate grove. One wrapped round his ankle, while the other seized his wrist. He slashed the latter with his free paw, but the former slammed him into the ground. When the Tangrowth started dragging him along the ground, it was hit square above the eyes by a concentrated beam of ice, which froze a fair portion of its central vine tangle to a solid state. The Scum let out a garbled shriek.

Nearby, he saw that his teammates had momentarily dazed the bulky Manectric in similar fashion.

Alice was breathing heavily. "Everyone, make a run for it!"

Flame wasn't entirely sure what happened in the following instants, other than the next conscious moment he took off into the street ahead. He prayed to any and all deities that no brick or pile of rubble would crush his every bone. All around him amorphous buildings passed by in a blur—it became too mentally exhausting to focus on any one , he glued his eyes, as well as faith, on the Grovyle scampering away in front of him. At some point it became reasonable to doubt whether his feet were making contact with the ground any longer.

Through the wind that buffeted his ears came a distinctly familiar crackle. He paid it no heed, but instead kept running. The sound neared—

Something akin to a spear of pure energy collided with his back. Within moments his muscles had locked into place—his body fell limp to the ground, rolling forward for a short distance out of sheer momentum. Once he finally lay still, he found his entire body unresponsive. His limbs twitched erratically every time static flared through them.

Though he could not move his neck, he heard someone halt by his side.

"Flame!" the voice belonged to Alice. "Flame, no! Are you all right?"

Her head peered at him from above, eyes overflowing with worry. He only somewhat managed to mumble a 'yes'. Her features softened, accompanied by a heave of relief. At once she turned the way they'd come from, positioning herself before his motionless body as though to shield him. The Manectric roared in the distance.

Another voice came from behind him; this he identified as Gaius.

"Hey—are you out of your goddamn mind?!"

At that moment, he discovered he could rotate his neck enough to get a good view of Gaius. The Grovyle stood not too far away, having clearly just stopped running.

"What the fuck are you thinking, Alice?" Gaius screamed. "We'll never make it out!"

The Dragonair did not so much as react, instead readying a beam of ice in her parted maw.

"Don't you see he's paralysed? It's no use!"

The Dragonair fired, and a loud grunt confirmed the attack had connected successfully. She immediately prepared another.

"Alice! Alice! Stop what you're doing! We'll all die here!" Gaius ordered.

No response came. High above, storm clouds gathered round an enormous, spiralling blob that grew and grew to swallow more of the horizon. Wind whipped ever violently against the puny creatures below.

The Grovyle looked behind him frantically, then at the two of them, then behind him again. For a moment, his gaze lingered towards safety. His paws quivered visibly, and clasped into fists.

"Damn you…" Gaius growled, eyes shut. "You're mad! Fucking mad!"

With that, Gaius rushed back towards his teammates, leaf blades drawn.

The wave after wave of shouting only served to confuse Flame further. He tried not to freak out internally over the immobility of his body. Concentrating, he mentally ordered himself to raise his arm—something that shouldn't have even been conscious. To his surprise, it stirred in part, yet he was unable to lift it off the ground. Motor functions were gradually returning to him, at least. But how positive could that be if all it did was prolong their escape?

A feral roar shook the three of them out of their complacency. The Manectric was running at frightening speed, even while limping due to the visible frostbite on its foreleg caused by continuous ice attacks.

Alice held her ground; Gaius crouched down and growled threateningly; Flame, able only to raise himself on his elbows, prepared a flamethrower in his throat.

… Yet something appeared behind the Scum.

What appeared to be a blur in the sky quickly assumed the form of a fully-fledged bird pokémon. No—there were many more behind it! Everything happened far too quickly for them to fully process: the leading Staraptor swooped down in an airborne assault and surrounded itself with white energy, before colliding at impressive speed with its target.

The Manectric was thrown aside like a sack of meat. It landed in a pile of rubble, whereupon it writhed, snarled, but made no attempts to rise again.

Flame held his breath. He could not fathom what had just happened. Where did these birds come from? Not being able to move only helped him feel defenceless, and there were few sensations he hated more.

Team Phalanx stood speechless as the Staraptor flapped to a halt in the middle of the road. More fliers appeared in the area above, some circling, some perching on top of ruins to keep watch. The Staraptor wasted no time in walking over to the three of them, a proud smirk stamped on his beak.

"Comrades. You're Task Force Aegis, correct?" he pointed a wing to their badges. "My squadron spotted you while en route to base. Are you hurt?"

The team shed some of the wariness embedded in their muscles. Hearing someone speak their language meant they were friendly, and right now, they needed all the help they could get.

Alice took a liberatory breath. "Our friend is paralysed. Th-thank you, sir."

Flame managed a small smile of gratitude.

The Staraptor then lowered his gaze to him. "How much of your body can you move?"

He attempted to push himself up on his elbows, but grunted when he found his back stiff and inelastic. "Too little."

The bird seemed captivated in thought for a moment, then removed the bag slung round his wing. Parting the flap with a talon, he rummaged through its contents, then leaned down and reemerged with a round, bright red cherry in its slightly parted beak.

Flame's eyes widened. Wait, he's not thinking of feeding it to me, is he?

One of the birds perched on the rooftops, a Pidgeot, fluttered down to ground level. "Sir, this is lunacy. We can't play medic here. That portal storm might send us all into the Distortion World at any moment!"

Yet, the Staraptor did not so much as flinch: he positioned himself above Flame, ready to release the berry straight into his mouth.

Oh, Arceus, he is…

He could already feel heat rising in his cheeks at the knowledge that his teammates would be there to witness, but he hardly possessed a choice right now. Thus, he let the berry drop into his mouth and swallowed, trying his best to ignore thoughts of extraneous saliva. To his surprise, it tasted very spicy. And evidently he must have liked spicy food in the past. A lot. He wondered if asking for another one would be seen as inappropriate.

The healing effects acted immediately: not ten seconds had passed before he felt a tingly sensation arise in his gut. It felt peculiar, like an army of tiny bubbles popping again and again just beneath his scales. Soon it spread to his arms and legs and tail, which flared greatly in heat. The juxtaposition of differing sensations left an amused but simultaneously perturbed Charmeleon resting.

He then realised he could move again. It was disorienting to shift his still somewhat-stiff muscles while the tingly sensation lingered, but the sight of the swelling storm up above wiped such thoughts from him. Flame stood and flexed his claws individually.

"I … I can move," he lifted his gaze to the Staraptor, smiling widely. "Thank you. By the way, what's that berry called?"

The bird said something in response, yet it was not heard as a deafening roar enveloped the land, just as wind threatened to blow them away.

All heads turned to the growing mass hovering over the harbour. It was seized by a spasm of sorts, sending tendrils of darkness out from the central rift. He could have sworn houses and debris were being ripped and sucked inside.

Alice flinched physically, growing visibly uncomfortable. "S-sir, we truly appreciate what you've done, but—"

"We gotta go," completed Gaius, turning towards the open street.

The Staraptor smirked, not a trace of worry present on its face. "On foot? Nonsense. You'd meet Giratina before ever seeing our camp." it patted a wing on its back. "Hop on, comrades. No one gets left behind!"

Flame was speechless. "Wait, y-you want us to fly?"

He wasn't quite sure how to react. Never before had he entertained the idea of flying in existing memory. Part of him quivered in horror, but another part tried to reason: his species' final form was indeed capable of flight, so perhaps he might grow accustomed. To be so far above the ground, hanging for dear life while the wind scraped his scales… Was he going to be flying for minutes? Hours?

Alas, the storm was only growing with every second spent thinking, thus he channelled his faith into this group's flying skills, and climbed onto the Staraptor's back. Gaius did the same with the Pidgeot, looking clearly uncomfortable.

Only Alice was left. No bird approached her, and when the Staraptor opened its wings in anticipation for departure, she moved to halt him, her features nearing panic.

"No, wait! Don't go! Let me on!"

The flying-type stood there, clearly perplexed. "Why? Can't you simply fly away? I don't see what the problem is."

Her eyes narrowed. Her voice lowered to a growly whisper. "It's a blasted urban myth—nothing more. Have you ever seen a Dragonair in your life? Thought so. Now, stop wasting time and get us out of here!"

Flame drew back, flinching internally. To see Alice speak with anger felt close to traumatic—such calm and rational creature! He could only wonder why the subject had brought forth so much bitterness in her voice. He would need to speak with her in earnest, but now was not the time.

Fortunately, the legionaries decided that time was scarce, and so Alice was made to hold onto another avian, a tricky feat seeing her body shape.

Once the order was given, Flame felt his mount flap its powerful wings—and leave the ground altogether. His first instinct was that to hold onto the Staraptor's neck tighter. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the ground. It was shrinking. Everything was in pure detail: a field of wreckage as far as the eye could see. From up here, the city's state looked even grimmer.

He closed his eyes. Whether out of fear, he did not know, but it helped him keep calm. The force of the wind didn't help matters, since he always felt seconds away from being violently ripped off his ride. Not only that, but his tail sent constant signals of discomfort and numbness as it waved behind him, helpless to the mighty airflow. To even entertain too many thoughts at once induced an urge to vomit.

The landscape around him was changing at startling speed. Below he briefly spotted the main road leading in and out of town, the last blocks of insulae, followed by grassy hills. One positive thing could be said about the wind: it propelled them forward to staggering speeds. If this was how such large birds flew whilst saddled with a passenger, how fast could one cruise normally?

Oh! There the bile rose again. Its bitter taste tainted the back of his mouth.

No. Calm, calm. Don't think about anything. It'll all be over soon. You'll be on land again and—

And then the Staraptor veered to the side, and the world turned sideways, and any reason flew out below him. There was a concrete possibility he'd screamed, but it would have been impossible to hear either way. All he knew was that one of his legs now dangled into the abyss. Letting panic take the reins, he hugged tighter round his mount's feathery neck, feeling a tiny wince shoot through its body as he did so.

In his head, the entire ordeal lasted for minutes on end, albeit in reality it likely amounted to much less. Sooner than he'd realised they were back in horizontal flight. Flame felt an urgent need to scream at the Staraptor, but his words would likely end up lost in the wind.

Besides, there would be no need: the plateau came into view through the fog. A smile blossomed on his face.

…Only to wither in an instant. No prolonged look was required to know that all was not well in Camp Horizon. Even from afar, something looked off. Dozens of tiny figures scrambled left and right in a frenzied panic, and heavy smoke was billowing from one part of the encampment. Then, as they flew closer, more and more details became apparent. Corpses bathing in blood. Fire ravaging tent after tent. Beams of electricity, fire, ice, flying in every direction at no specific target. Masses of pokémon streamed up the sole path leading up to the plateau, poured into the camp, and crashed upon the feeble line of defenders with the force of a tidal wave.

Flame's breath caught.

Is this what they planned? he realised. They must have known the portal storm was coming. How could they have known? Oh, Arceus, we're not ready for this…

Though unable to see the Staraptor's face, he could certainly feel its body tense up beneath him.

"All units, drop off your passengers and return to formation! Prepare to engage!" the bird yelled at the top of its lungs.

Before he could object, his mount was already diving towards the ground, forcing Flame to hold on for his dear life to avoid being sucked straight upward, of all directions. Their dive became steeper, the air buffeting their bodies growing ever sterner.

A great roar split the air somewhere far off. The winds became more intense. The Staraptor's descent soon levelled off, until, with one great flap of its wings, it bled enough speed to touch down safely.

Flame half threw himself on the ground, landing on his arm. Despite the swarm of thoughts in his head, he simply lay there, focused on each shallow breath—as though it was him who had done all the physical work. Tingly sensations were all that remained once the adrenaline left his system.

Soon two more birds landed nearby. It was Alice and Gaius. The three of them gathered closer as though by impulse.

"We can't—the Scum," Gaius wheezed. "They're attacking the camp. We can't stay here."

Flame wanted to answer, but something blocked his throat. He watched absentmindedly as the three birds lifted off with stupefying agility.

We don't have a choice, do we? he told himself, staring down at his tail fire. There's nothing to fear. I've fought the Scum before, and I'll be damned if I let myself die here. I'm strong. There's nothing to fear.

Alice said nothing; she stared mesmerised into the camp. "Sorry. Still feeling dizzy. I … I saw clashes near the main access path. The enemy must be concentrated there. If our forces manage to prevent a breakthrough, perhaps…"

She paused. Her eyes shifted downwards, deep in thought.

"Ah, whatever!" Gaius snapped, standing on wobbly footing. "We'll think of something as we go along."

Flame felt an urge to object, but, alas, it would only delay the inevitable.

I'm stronger than them. Everything will be all right, he clasped his fists, taking one last breath.

"What are you waiting for? Go! Help the others!" Gaius took off towards the sounds of battle.

Thus, Flame and Alice followed suit. Past smouldering tents, past bleeding cadavers, Team Phalanx ran. They had no precise battle plan, other than join any other defender in pushing back the invaders. Yet some of those same defenders were wandering aimlessly, looking at it all with sleepy shock.

Doubt chipped at his morale. Just how many pokémon had been left to garrison the camp? Surely those still in Portus would take hours to regroup! Those thoughts were left to ferment in some corner of his mind.

They advanced into the core of the camp, where the smog from countless small fires obscured the area. He found no difficulty in breathing, contrary to his teammates, who coughed every so often as the shroud became thicker. From somewhere not too far ahead came sizzles of electricity and screams of pain. The main battle lines had to have been there.

Wind whipped in their faces, clearing enough smoke to allow sight of their surroundings. Flame's heart tripled its rate at once. Occupying the entrance to the camp were swarms of creatures, numbering in the hundreds. Every single one was engaged in combat of some sort. On the ground were soldiers, some moaning in pain from gaping wounds and others laying twisted with eyes shut still wide open. It was sheer carnage.

Friendly forces maintained a double-file, wall of flesh formation to contain the enemy advance. At least, that seemed to be their intent: one nearby group's formation was smashed before his very eyes.

"Contact! Just up ahead!" Gaius shouted suddenly.

Flame prepared his claws. Peering through the smog, he saw the advancing forms of pokémon that seemed entirely separate from the defenders. They were different from any Imperial soldier in the absence of equipment on their bodies. Those same bodies were painted in crude patterns, whilst any fur was rigorously unkempt. Moreover, their fighting involved no coordination whatsoever—just mindless aggression, slashing, biting, trampling corpses, not unlike ferals that inhabited mystery dungeons.

Gaius rushed forth into the fray, but was forced to duck mid-way by jets of fire, water, and ice flying from every direction.

Within seconds the few Scum that had broken through the Imperial formation became dozens. The air became filled with elemental attacks from both sides as nearby Imperial forces dedicated every last pokémon to stopping the breakthrough. Officers and legionaries alike threw themselves into the gap, only to be slaughtered by the enemy's swelling ranks.

When fighting drifted an enemy Sableye within range, to Team Phalanx's position, Flame spewed a stream of fire from his maw to relieve a fellow officer. The barbarian seemed more annoyed than seriously hurt by the attempt, however; it stopped brutalising its victim—who wasted no time in crawling away—only to identify a new one. Him.

With a primal yell, Gaius lunged onto the Sableye. And didn't come back down. The previously distacted Scum stood with its body twisted by ninety degrees, gemstone eyes glowing, keeping a faint pink aura around the Grovyle's body

Flame's eyes became wide. His teammate was floating—or, rather, being kept afloat by the Sableye's psyonic powers. Alice gasped as well by his side. Before either of them could react, Gaius arched backwards as though in absolute pain, only unable to scream. The pinkish aura enveloping his body seemed to press tighter if such a thing were possible.

"Damn it!" Flame grit his teeth.

Now compelled to act, he ran across open ground with his claws drawn. To simply witness one of his teammates in pain felt intolerable. Mere instants after entering striking range he struck, driving his claws into the creature's hard skin and even leaving scratch marks on one eye. The creature flinched visibly, but did not let go of the Grovyle even as blood trickled down to its neck. Instead, it gathered an orb of shadowy energy in its paw.

Sensing the impending danger, he mustered another fire breath attack. Too late. By the time he'd opened his maw, the sphere was already shooting through the air. He shut his eyes, bracing for the imminent impact…

Clang!

But it never came. Flame cracked an eye open to see a robotic, disc-shaped pokémon floating in front of him. Its teal metal exterior gleamed against his tail light. While it lacked legs, it featured two thick arms with three claws on each end, just as white as the many spikes paired along its back.

The Metang quickly drew his arm back, and sent the Sableye through the air, landing with a disturbing crack near another fight.

Flame stared at the newcomer for some moments. A sweeping look of his surroundings revealed Gaius laying on the ground, coughing and groaning.

The Metang turned round. A hole in its metallic skin revealed two large, red pupils.

"Officers. Are you all right?" it asked. That voice, although resembling two gears grinding against one another, sounded oddly familiar.

Flame nodded, shaken out of his daze, and rushed to fend off nearby foes whilst Alice helped their leader away from the developing battle. Once they'd travelled far enough away to where the smog covered sight of the bloodbath, Gaius gathered enough strength to stand up on his own, claiming to be in good health, though obviously unsettled by the experience.

The Grovyle turned to the Metang still hovering by their side. "Hey, big guy. Since you're a psychic or whatever, help us keep those fuckers at bay. Our lines are breaking. Get moving!"

The Metang refused to follow. "No. It's no use."

"What the hell does that mean?" Gaius clasped his paws into fists.

Alice assumed a pensitive face. "I recognise your voice. Are you … Archangel?"

The metal beast paused briefly, giving the three of them an attent look. "I see. You were one of the teams under my supervision—Team Phalanx. I don't know how you returned here so quickly, but you'd do well to leave immediately."

Flame too felt the same impetus that his teammates did—to rush into battle, aid their comrades, no matter the odds. But something in Archangel's voice beckoned him to listen. Uncalled, the sight he'd witnessed from high above the camp floated in his mind. The sheer number of pokémon sent shivers all over his body.

"Why?" Alice cocked her head, eyes stern. "Even if the odds are against us, we must try. What other choice do we have? There is no surrending to those wretches. If the camp falls, we fall."

Archangel closed its eyes. "The situation is hopeless. They caught us at at the worst time imaginable. Eighty percent of our initial force is still scattered throughout Portus, and it would take hours for any of them to make it back. Even the garrison left here wasn't truly prepared to fight."

Flame only grew more anxious as the gravity of the situation continued to dawn on him. Perhaps it had been a mistake to join this wretched expedition. He ought to have stayed in Aesernia, or perhaps left altogether to find a better life with his friends. Now, everything would amount to naught. His memories—

To even hold so many thoughts at once made him realise he was hyperventilating.

"… W-what do we do now?" he mumbled under his shaky breath.

"There's no time left. I'll help you and anyone else who's still standing find a way out."

Alice took a deep breath, clearly failing at keeping calm. "How? Do we make a run for it? The road's still blocked…"

"Just float us out of here, for Mew's sake!" Gaius growled, striking the Metang's hard exterior.

Archangel looked the Grovyle in the eye. "No. There are other soldiers left who deserve to live. I have a plan."

Once again, the wind blew at such an angle that all smoke was blown away and the battling horde returned into their field of view. All semblance of formation and discipline was quickly disintegrating, with mass attacks turning into one-on-one brawls. Barbarians previously unable to participate in combat now streamed freely into the camp. Now nothing separated the enemy from Team Phalanx. But—ah! The narrow road leading down from the plateau was no longer blocked by enemy masses.

Archangel's pupils seemed to dilate. "There! It's now or never—run for it! I'll cover your escape!"

Team Phalanx sent simultaneous glances of alarm. Dozens of pokémon, both enemy and allied, fighting and dead, lay between them and salvation. To run out into the open would prove a death sentence.

"RUN!" the Metang said in a screech that hurt their ears.

Whether out of desperation, or out of fear, Team Phalanx ran. They ran into the horrid field of bodies, caring not how many they trampled in their mad dash. They ran past jets of fire, ice, and water. They didn't stop when increasing numbers of enemies noticed their escape and moved to intercept.

In that moment, a great flash encompassed the encampment. Flame felt the light pierce through his eyelids. Yet, he somehow kept running out of sheer muscle memory, praying no rogue corpse would end it all.

When he opened his eyes again, all the Scum moving to mob them were no more, having been thrown back several metres. All Archangel's doing, he realised. Then Archangel shot one beam of psychic energy after another with a metallic cry, and Flame saw them pass over his shoulder, directed at any who attempted to block their escape path.

The Metang's calm voice—unnaturally so considering the circumstances—rose from within his thoughts:

"To all Imperial soldiers: we are pulling out. This is your chance to escape. I will keep the exit route clear for as long as I can. Esto perpetua."

The following moments went by in a messy blur. Hesitation was purged from his system. Although some part of him deep inside screamed in terror, he repressed it to the farthest reaches of his consciousness. There could be no falling prey to fear. Neither Alice nor Gaius were within his visual range; he had to trust they were just behind him. He saw Imperial soldiers stumble away from fighting, yet could not count them. All that dominated his world was the incessant heartbeat in his chest.

To his marvel, what used to represent a speck in the horizon suddenly seemed within grasp. Hundreds of metres shrank to fifty, then ten, and suddenly a narrow dirt path materialised in front of them, flanked by the sloped cliffside revealing a sheer drop with nothing but cragged rocks awaiting those above.

His heart skipped a beat: they'd finally made it outside!

That one moment of distraction was all it took for him to set foot upon a deformed Marowak's body, and fall face-first on the ground. It took a few moments for him to realise that he'd landed onto another bloodied carcass, and that the path ahead overflowed with dozens more.

He stumbled to his feet and resumed his crazed marathon to salvation. Even with his thigh feeling on the verge of ripping in two, he couldn't afford to stop now. What if Archangel had already been overwhelmed, ripped to pieces, unable to float to safety?

"It could take half an hour to get down from here," Flame looked daunted at the grasslands far below. "Th-they'll surely catch up! What do we do?"

"J-just up ahead," Alice yelled in between pants. "There's … those caverns we saw this morning. One of them is bound to be a mystery dungeon. We—we can use those to escape."

Far, far above, he spotted bird-like silhouettes zooming away towards the setting sun. Shouts for help rose in his throat; it was no use. The thought of imminent death surpassed any relief for knowing some of their fellow comrades survived. Though he practically had no way of knowing whether those birds were in fact the ones from earlier, he proceeded to unleash a flurry of insults inside his own head.

After running what felt like two consecutive marathons, Team Phalanx branched away from the main path and onto a rocky ledge just wide enough to support three pokémon side-by-side.

"There!" Gaius pointed with a claw. "See it? That one oughta work."

They were met with a large aperture carved into the rocky façade. At first glance it seemed to be fairly ordinary, but a closer look revealed that the large barrier of darkness seen from the outside did not follow standard logic based on the sun's current position. No further confirmation was required; this was a mystery dungeon. Flame saw the expression on his teammates' faces lighten, but he himself would not relax until they were inside, safe and sound—if dungeons could be considered as such.

"Oh, thank the gods," Flame whispered half to himself. "I thought we were done for up there…"

As they completed the last stretch to the dungeon's entrance, they were forced to stop when something unusual materialised on the floor before of them. Sludge. Liquid, dark grey goo. It seemed to have appeared out of thin air, or perhaps the rock below, expanding from mere drops to a small puddle to a miniature lake that threatened to spill into the abyss below.

Then, the most unexpected of things took place.

A head emerged from the sludge.

Team Phalanx could only watch in bewilderment as some sort of creature rose gradually from the anomalous goo as though phasing through a portal. After the head came two large arms, then the body, and at the end, a wispy tail in place of legs. The sludge coating its body trickled away rapidly.

Having now fully revealed itself, the phantom openes its eyes—no, eye. Flame felt his heart lodge in his trachea. Whatever this thing was, it possessed a single, deathly red eye that made him cower on the inside.

He felt that very same eye scan them individually, burning onto their skin—ah! Now it was looking straight at him. Tearing through his insides, he felt. Why was it lingering?

One mistake, he thought, that was all it took; to shed caution too early, to abandon haste. Now, they would all pay dearly.

The Dusknoir widened its single pupil briefly, as though surprised, and then … smiled? He could not quite explain how a pokémon with no mouth could smile, but he had no doubt that's what it was doing.

Sweating, Gaius unsheathed his leaf blades. Alice too straightened her posture to appear more threatening, yet failed to hide her shaking. Flame just stared.

No member of Team Phalanx dared to make the first move, chiefly because their opponent did not pounce on them.

Growling coming from behind them snapped Flame out of his trance. He spun his head round. As expected, what he saw confirmed his darkest feelings: on the dirt path they'd just left stood six or seven barbarians, all delivering unmerciful stares. The only unhindered escape path was down, over the cliff's edge. And he didn't like looking down.

"Guys? They're behind us, as well…"

"Yeah, we 'got away' all right. You and your big mouth," Gaius said, voice dripping with spite.

"Fuck. Off," Flame hissed through grit teeth. "This isn't the time."

One of the onlooking Scum—a bulky Nidorino—took a step forward, baring its teeth.

But the Dusknoir motioned it to stop with a hand. In response, the Nidorino stuttered back, as though a scolded child, and bowed down until its head touched the ground.

Flame held no words. It took but a few seconds, even in his panicked state, for the gears to grind in his head. Nobody had ever mentioned any leadership present in the barbarian tribes, but this being was clearly imparting orders. The discovery jarred him somewhat. He'd expected a hypothetical Scum leader to be some muddy, bulky monster bearing layers upon layers of body painting and elaborate headwear. Amongst those brutes, the Dusknoir looked almost … out of place.

Yet, those thoughts flew out of his head when he saw the phantom reach a hand out in his direction. Perhaps he ought to have reacted—lash out in sheer desperation. However, his muscles refused to budge. The hand inched closer. Perhaps it would be quite painless, in the end.

He squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. This is it. I'm dying. I'm dead.

The Dusknoir's hand landed on his shoulder, which it wholly encompassed. Shivers ran down his spine at the touch. But the hand moved no further. His eyes flew open when death did not come, peering up questioningly.

The Dusknoir kept smiling—the lack of a mouth only rendering things more disturbing—and gazed back down at him, hand firmly on his shoulder. It nodded at him in a fashion that felt vaguely paternal.

Who are you? Flame asked in his head. Why do you feel so familiar?

Suddenly, he remembered. This was the very same ghost he'd seen during the fortress mission. It was following him. But to what purpose? Why him, of all pokémon?

As he stared into its eye, all sembiance of doubt faded. He'd met this pokémon before. The iron curtain of amnesia muddied his thoughts as usual, but some corner of his mind whispered there was something more, another piece of the puzzle laying just outside his grasp.

For what felt like minutes, but likely amounted to seconds, Flame kept still, ignoring the deathly-scared looks of his comrades. Eventually, the Dusknoir lost its smile, grew visibly perplexed. Was it expecting a reaction? How on earth was he supposed to react? Thoughts of his team held in captivity swirled in his mind; held in cages, violated, tortured; scenes of intimacy inside their tent back in Aesernia followed; and suddenly it became impossible to think without tears welling in his eyes.

Maybe because of that, or maybe because of the adrenaline flowing through his system, he brewed fire in his stomach. When he saw the Dusknoir motioned the onlooking Scum towards Alice and Gaius, and drew closer to grab a hold of him, Flame snapped.

White, scorching fire exited his maw and engulfed the phantom's upper body, eliciting screams of pain so sharp it felt like his mind would be ruptured into two.

The Dusknoir drew back, clutching its eye, and Team Phalanx reacted at once; no words needed to be spoken. They threw themselves past the figure and into the dungeon's welcoming clutches.


Boreal Chasm - B1F

Not a few steps inside, Flame fell onto his knees briefly, clutching his head tightly. The brief loss of perception upon entering a dungeon always managed to startle him. He breathed a liberatory breath, and drew circles with his head to inspect their immediate surroundings.

They now stood in cave whose walls, ceiling, and floor made out of ice. There was no natural light, minus his tail's immediate glow and the faint refractions making him aware just how tall this room's ceiling was. Everything else outside of that little square of world was shrouded in pitch darkness.

He promptly checked behind him. As expected, the outside world was no more, replaced by a wall encased in ice.

Thus, it was not a surprise to find out that he felt cold. It lasted little more than moments, though, for his tail fire enlargened in response, and drowned out the frigid air around him with heat.

He rest his back upon that wall, feeling the stress cumulated in the last hours melt all at once. Despite being nowhere near safe—this was, after all, an anomalous pocket defying both space and time—he smiled at the thought of finally sitting down to take a rest, no matter how brief.

However, he could not see his teammates anywhere in the dark.

"Alice? Gaius? Are you still here?" he lifted his tail to better illuminate the area.

Then, just as he spotted his teammates, a Grovyle tackled him to the wall and kept him pinned. As Flame scrambled to recover the lost breath, he felt a leaf blade being pressed to his throat.

"All right, you traitorous bastard—care to explain what the hell just happened?"

"Gaius, what's gone through your head? Lay off him!" Alice tried unsuccessfully to move his arm away with her tail.

The Grovyle turned to her, seething. "Were you sleeping the whole time? That damned thing was their leader! And it treated Flame like they've been best of buddies!"

"I-I swear, it's not—" Flame wheezed weakly.

"I knew you couldn't be trusted. And to think—" the blade pressed tighter. "—I was beginning to like you. Fucking rot."

That sentence threw him over the edge. Uncaring of the threat to his life, he brought a shaky paw up to the Grovyle's wrist and pushed it away, making Gaius stumble back.

Now free to move, he sat his rear on the ground, and massaged the sore spot in his neck to make sure there were no cuts. For some reason, this entire situation reminded him of something.

The cave, the cold, Gaius trying to behead me… I think I'm having déjà-vu right now.

The thought created the briefest of smiles, until he remembered that his supposed friend had just accused him of treason.

"So?" Gaius growled. "What is it? Delcatty got your tongue? Tell me right fucking now, or consider yourself out of Team Phalanx."

Flame knew he ought to make a convincing argument, but anger flared all at once. "I don't know, okay? I have no damn clue why that … thing touched me, or, or why it didn't attack us. There. Is that good enough for you?"

"Don't fuck with me, Flame. That 'thing' knows you," Gaius brought his face close to his. "Let me repeat, in case you're deaf: the Scum's leader knows you. Their leader! What else could it mean, huh?"

Flame balled his claws into fists, shaking. Insinuating he was a Scum—the nerve! But he could not speak; his larynx shriveled onto itself, dried akin to a dead leaf. And at once he wished to lash out at the Grovyle's face; and just as quickly he wanted nothing more than to disappear within his legs.

In the end, what angered him the most was that his leader's concerns were absolutely valid. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps the Dusknoir had met him in a time long forgotten. How could one prove that for which evidence did not exist?

"I—I … it's not what you think. Th-there's no way," he breathed in and our quicker. "H-how am I supposed to know him? I can't even remember my Arceusdamned name!"

Gaius spat on the floor just shy of his leg. "Amnesiac or not, you're still one of 'em. I don't intend to spend the rest of my days looking over my shoulder."

Alice looked uneasy. "E-even if that's the case, he's a different pokémon now. We have no reason to doubt his sincerity."

The Grovyle turned to her. "Seriously? He could have murdered hundreds of civilians, and you're still defending him?"

Oh—now they questioned the very fabric of his being! Three minutes prior they would have fought to the end together; now they spoke of him as some rot. Why did they not listen? He wasn't a bad pokémon. He loved Team Phalanx more than himself. And if, by some factual observation, he turned out to have been a Scum prior to losing his memories, hadn't he already proven his willingness to atone, fighting by their side through wilds and hunger? Or perhaps Gaius was convinced he still held ties with his former kin; that he'd wait for night-time to call upon a squadron, and murder them both in sweet slumber. To know someone thought him capable of that pulverised his heart.

Focus, Flame. You're losing control of the situation. Just focus.

"G-Gaius, please," he said, and swallowed—he could not quite breath—his vision was turning to spots. "Listen to me."

"Why?" Gaius snarled. "I know what I saw. Stay the hell away from me."

And at that he did not recall hyperventilating; at that he could feel the last thread of connection slip away. For one, fleeting moment, he was back in Spearhead Valley, alone and mistrusted. The dead, heartless rock had returned. He ought to say something—anything!

"T-tell me, then," he crossed his shaky arms. "If I used to be a Scum, how come I speak your language and, and not theirs?"

The argument streamed out of his mouth on its own accord. Preemptively he scolded himself for wasting his only chance, saying something so pathetic, yet the Grovyle did not answer.

Gaius opened his mouth as though to speak, uttered monosyllables, then stopped. Unable to come up with an answer, Gaius buried his forehead into his palm, letting out a growl in between heavy breaths.

"I know what we saw is troubling," Alice sent an uneasy glance at them both. "But, please, not while inside the dungeon. Who knows what—"

When faint footsteps echoed throughout the room, the group instinctively jerked their heads towards the source. Not a second later, two jets of fire converged on the poor Sneasel who'd snuck into the limelight. It dropped to the ground face-down, twitching, wisps of fire still licking its fur.

Team Phalanx just stood there for some time, eyes wide, now aware of the orchestra of footsteps and growls echoing from all around. They leaked through the walls, which all of a sudden seemed made of paper rather than something solid.

"Look—you've attracted an entire audience," Alice narrowed her eyes at them, whispering. "Do you intend to continue bickering?"

Flame got up on his feet, avoiding his leader's eyes.

"Don't think I'm done with you," Gaius said. "Smartass…"

Without asking, Flame marched in front of his teammates, leading his teammates down one of the passageways. Here the walls and ceiling were considerably smaller, so the light from his tail brightened enough to show up their immediate surroundings and then some. Once again, he stared in amazement at the solid ice wall, scraped his claws as if to test its veracity. The stinging cold forced him to flinch back. In fact, it partly surprised him that whatever sick consciousness shaped mystery dungeons had covered the floor with thick snow rather than ice. Perhaps he ought to have been thankful; he dared not think of how they'd navigate about otherwise.

Wind blew past them, kissing his scales with sharp daggers. He nearly asked out loud how wind could possibly form in such a place, only to remember that mystery dungeons needed no reason. At least his fire kept him warm.

Behind him, someone groaned. He stopped briefly, and peeked behind him just as another gust of frigid wind flooded the small cave. Gaius had his arms wrapped round his own chest, looking down at the floor, while Alice quivered in place, as though seized by brief spasms.

How selfish to think of himself: if the wind had bothered even him, being of fire, how horribly must it effect his teammates! One dragon and one grass, both vulnerable to cold. Surely one floor exposed to this temperature was unbearable for them, and suppose the anomaly continued for four, seven, fifteen floors? A lump formed in his throat.

"Hey … can you two walk?" he bit his lip, unsure what to say. "You can stick close to my tail if it helps."

Alice broke off her shivering to look him in the eye. "Sorry. It's … it's the shift in temperature. T-too abrupt, but it's nothing I haven't managed before. Slowing down will only worsen our situation."

Gaius did not speak; only stared at the floor.

"Are you sure?" he said quickly. "What if it gets so cold that you can't walk?"

The Dragonair let out a small smile. "The only thing worse than cold is loneliness. At least there's that."

Gaius kept looking straight down. "So what, we die together instead of alone?"

"We won't die," Flame said instinctively. "I'll keep you warm."

"Yeah, says the one with the fire…"

Flame sighed quietly, his breath condensing into a puff of steam. The hostility in his leader's voice cut deep into his scales just as much as the wind. And to think that just this morning he thought the Grovyle's favour within grasp…

Perhaps he was being melodramatic again, overreacting at his teammates' valid concerns. It had only been a week, after all—to expect any sort of unconditional trust was misguided at best, if not naive. As if he might faint at the suggestion they did not like him fully! But he'd been there by their side, his thoughts protested, fought—

No, he couldn't get distracted now. The situation was grave enough without his thoughts wandering about, as they always did.

The incessant dripping echoing throughout the cave only became louder. He couldn't quite see any himself, though, and—was that running water he heard? He looked down at the floor. It had to have come from somewhere inside the ice. Within minutes of walking the dripping sounds multiplied to one every few seconds, and they soon discovered its source.

The room was large—that much they could tell, since even his fire could not so much as touch the ceiling, nor anything beyond their immediate vicinity. From somewhere within the darkness came a symphony of water drops trickling from the ceiling, followed by audible splashes.

He advanced with a cautious step, holding his tail tip forth with a paw. And he would have taken another one, had he not noticed a sudden depression in the ice flooded by water where his foot would have landed.

"It's a lake," he said, taking a step back. "If there's no way to cross it, we might have to go back."

Surrounded on almost all sides by darkness, and just barely able to make out his teammates behind him, he entertained the idea of shooting tongues of fire to light up his surroundings.

He growled to nobody in particular. "Where do I even start?"

"Hold on. Th-there's a technique I haven't tried in a long time."

The Dragonair shut her eyes, raised her snout, fighting to hold still against the shivers wracking her form. Then, the orb beneath her neck and the two on her tail shone to life, showering the room with a gentle, cerulean glow.

Now, everything became clear, for the room was not in fact much larger than the one they'd woken up inside. Near transparent stalactites hung from the ceiling like threads, from which droplets trickled down. Tiny ripples shook the water with each droplet landing inside. On the other end of the room was another stretch of solid land—if a slab of ice covered with snow could be called so—but he couldn't quite see, for Alice suddenly cut the glow and entered a coughing fit.

She arched her neck down just shy of the floor, breathing heavily. "Arceus, my aura's in really poor shape…"

Gaius, shoulders hunched forth and arms glued to his own chest, shot her a look. "You never told me you could do that."

"I haven't p-p-practiced my aura in years," she said, fighting back a fit of shivers.

"Why not?" Flame said. He had a half mind of saying she looked majestic in that pose, but decided against it—too upfront, he thought.

"I'm … I'm just not very good at it," Alice mumbled in a shaky breath.

He could sense there was more to the matter, but decided not to pry; and at once Gaius snapped at him, said they'd all freeze to death by standing around. Part of him wanted to exit this chamber at once, but there might have been unseen bridges to the other shore. He shot a tongue of fire over the water; though it lasted but a couple moments, he could have sworn he saw an irregularity in the ice. An opening, but not quite like the one they'd arrived from—it looked vaguely like…

Wait. Am I seeing things?

He breathed fire again, this time sustaining the column for longer duration. From the corners of his vision, he scanned the far end of the room—now bathed in blazing orange—until he found the anomaly. There it was: a set of steps carved neatly into the ice, unmistakable in nature.

His fire breath cut entirely. The room once again plunged into darkness outside of his immediate vicinity.

"This has to be some sick joke," he muttered, clouds of condensate forming with every word.

"What?" Gaius spat. "What's so important?"

"The staircase. It's on the other side of this room."

The Grovyle stared at him. "You're kidding, right? No way I'm taking a swim. Th-there has to be another way around."

"I d-don't think I saw any land bridges, either," Flame swallowed quickly.

Unthrilled by the prospect of diving, he let loose another blaze of orange—Alice and Gaius confirmed there was no visible passage or walkway to the other shore.

No, no, no, no… he walked back and forth along the water's edge. If the cold's wearing us down, the water will outright kill us. I—they'll never make it outside.

Exploring both ends of the lake revealed nothing remotely hopeful: no hidden strips of rock they'd missed, no tunnels, only dark, oily water. And so all would be lost, he thought—he'd have to haul their frozen carcasses on his back, assuming he didn't shrivel up into a ball and solidify even sooner.

"The lake," Alice pointed with her tail. "It seems to be the shallowest right here."

Indeed, a closer inspection of the water revealed a detail he hadn't paid heed to: one could clearly make out its bottom. Were he to attempt a crossing, glued to the far wall, the water would rise to directly below his knee.

He knelt down near the edge. With great hesitation, he lowered a paw into the water—only to draw it back seconds later, biting back a cry, his claws shaking uncontrollably and pulsing with pain. At once he understood how other species must have experienced fire.

Flame stood up shakingly; looked at the water as if some towering beast. He couldn't make it, the words formed in his throat, he just couldn't. He'd only turn into ash and dissolve, freeze into tiny ice chunks.

"… Flame?" said Alice.

His eyes met hers, and a vague feeling of shame filled his cheeks. That was when he understood: despite the inexplicable events linked to that Dusknoir, his teammates trusted him on a subconscious level—their light, their sole source of warmth!

No, he couldn't complain. He needed to be strong. If not for himself, for them.


Boreal Chasm - B2F

It was only fair, after all. For his teammates suffered winter yearly; and now he would suffer alongside them.

As he stopped to examine a bifurcation in the corridor, Alice and Gaius in tow, he mused that it could have been much worse. Granted, his legs still felt excruciatingly numb, and moisture lingered on his scales—but that wasn't what truly worried him. It was the drop in temperature. All of them felt it.

One need not witness the puffs of smoke exhaled with every breath to realise as much—they all resembled angry Charizard, he mused. Having crossed a lake seemed like a more disastrous decision with each passing moment. The dampness on their lower bodies would not quite dry off, which in turn only magnified the cold.

He chose a direction at random; they looked no different to him. Nothing in mystery dungeons made sense. Although he was supposed to keep his attention forward at possible threats, he averted his gaze back to his teammates, couldn't help it. Something locked in his throat whenever he looked at them. Perhaps it was Gaius' posture, hunched over with his arms in self-embrace as though he wanted to ball up, or the dazed look in Alice's eyes that stared into nothingness as she shivered.

"Are you feeling all right? M-maybe you need to rest?"

Gaius grunted. "Stop asking. Can't … concentrate."

"C-could we please slow down?" Alice said in a near-whisper. "My underside … it feels like one with the ice. Everything is, really."

"Oh. Try to stay close to me, okay? It can't be much longer now."

Alice nodded quielty; didn't seem to have fully understood. Gaius merely made another grunting noise.

A sense of helplessness took hold of Flame. Already he stood close to the two in an attempt to gift any possible speck of his body heat. Truly, though, what more could he do? To huddle round a campfire exposed them to extraordinary danger from ferals, and even then building one was simply impossible. Ice and snow did not make for good campfire material.

Every neuron in his brain screamed that the two desperately needed warmth, and unless there was some item in their bags that Gaius hadn't told him of—just oran berries and seeds, as he recalled—his very body remained as its only viable source. The realisation only made him feel more nervous, realising just how much responsibility lay on his shoulders.

Suddenly, the corridor ended when an icy wall blocked their path, featuring only a narrow rift on ground level, just ample enough for pokémon like him to crawl through. He knelt down, looked through the fissure, and saw that there was indeed another room on the other side. It seemed tame in comparison to previous tricks the dungeon had in store for them. At the very least this corridor wasn't blocked off by debris like some others.

Parts of him didn't quite find the idea of crawling through a hole attractive, though. He considered suggesting they head back, when he remembered just how lengthy and arduous the path to get here had been. If the only alternative was to make his freezing teammates climb all that way again, then he'd rather try his chances.

"I'm going to see what's on the other side, okay?" Flame said. "Come in when I give you the all-clear. If you hear something, just … shoot fire at it."

"O-okay," Alice said in a breath.

"I won't take too long. Promise."

He lay down on his belly, and, without hesitation, dragged himself inside using his forearms. Immediately he registered discomfort at having ice scraping against his elbows and skull. It reminded him of how little maneuvering space he had. Albeit the hole was clearly large enough to fit him all the way through, that didn't stop horrible thoughts of becoming stuck in such a cramped space.

Then his legs and tail slipped fully inside the fissure, and his breathing increased tenfold—but no, it was too late to back out now. It took but a few seconds of hurried crawling to reach the other end of the hole, where a larger room waited to be discovered. The thought of ferals passed through his mind, and how defenceless he'd be were one to greet him on the other side.

I really didn't think this through, did I?

Aware of any possible dangers, he lingered for a moment with only his head exposed to the room, listening intently. There came dripping and the shrilling of Zubats, but nothing too close by. He crawled the last stretch and rose to his feet, his tail light flooding the multitude of stalactites and stalagmites jutting from seemingly every centimetre of space.

Suddenly, a faint squeaking noise filled the air. It came from above.

Flame scarcely had the time to cry out before a pair of teeth sunk into his back. Pain rushed through his spine, and, seized by terror, he threw his back against the wall behind him. The loss of balace caused him to slide onto his rear, but whatever was attacking him did not relent.

His paws scrambled behind his back to remove the thing himself; pain mounted with each second. His claws grasped round something cartilaginous, and he yanked with all his might. The feral shrieked. A sickly rip filled the air. Inspecting the contents of his paw, he found a twitching, severed wing resembling that of a Golbat. Blood trickled from the little muscle tissue and onto his claws and wrist. He tossed the bloodied appendage away in recoil.

Thankfully, the pain radiating from his back eased at once; the Golbat squeaked and writhed; it unlatched from his scales only to fall to the ground face-down, flapping its remaining wing pathetically.

Flame sat still to regain his breath as the adrenaline in his veins gradually faded away. He shut his eyes, and, with a deep breath, reached a paw behind his neck and slid it down to check where exactly the feral had bitten him.

Did it poison me? I don't think it did. Otherwise, I'd be feeling dizzy right about now.

He hissed lightly upon touching one of the teeth marks. There were four in total, yet only the top ones actually seeped blood. He bought his claws before his eyes. Trickles, at best. He figured he could leave the wound to heal on its own.

Noticing that the Golbat was still squeaking out loud in vain, he shot a fireball that silenced the bat for good.

"F-Flame?" Alice's feeble question came through the fissure. "What's happening?"

"It was just a Golbat," he exhaled, shifting closer to the hole to make light. "N-nothing too serious. You can come over, now."

Silence followed. He waited what felt like minutes, but probably amounted to less, then crouched down to look inside the hole.

"Did you hear what I said? Crawl through it like I did."

"Huh? O-oh, sorry," Alice's voice came from beyond the wall. Even when accounting for the ice in between them, she sounded worryingly quiet.

He held his tail by the fissure's exit to make light. Slowly but surely, she entered her head, followed by her serpentine body; it was admittedly a little weird to imagine her body stretched out in one straight line. In normal conditions, one barely noticed such detail, curled up as she was—why was she taking so long? He peeked inside.

The first thing that caught his attention was her breathing: it was much heavier than it should have been, and only became heavier with each movement. Once closer to the opening, she stopped moving altogether, eyes squeezed shut, mouth wide as if to gasp.

"I … don't think I can make it …"

Flame felt his heart accelerate. This was it; their energies were dwindling. "Don't be like that. Here, I'll help you out."

He offered her a paw through the fissure.

She half opened her eyes to look at him, struggling to form words. "No, not that. Th-the cold…"

Regardless, he slipped both paws just underneath her head and dragged her front section out. A small, yet essential detail registered the moment his claws made contact with her scales. They felt cold to the touch. Frighteningly cold. Now her head stood level to his, the entire length of her body inside the room. He touched her forehead.

"You're freezing."

Alice let out a weak chuckle, immediately interrupted by violent coughs. "Couldn't quite tell by myself … d-doctor."

Flame could not help but sigh. "Come on, this isn't the time."

While admittedly it did help exasperate him, it also represented a sign that she hadn't surrendered completely to numbness. The only thing worse than a shattered body was shattered spirits.

Soon enough, his attention was diverted when another voice came through the wall. Rather, it was a collection of groans, breathing, and jumbled curses. Flame released Alice from his hold, and hastily knelt down to assist his teammate.

Gaius lay on his belly; his face was writhed horribly and his eyes shut, though he could not tell whether from pain or physical effort, or a combination of both. He was deeper into the hole than Alice was, closer to the other side.

"I—I can't move my…" Gaius cut the sentence short with a gasp, attempting to drag himself by the forearms. "S-stuck. Do something!"

Wincing from the glare shot in his direction, Flame lay down himself and inserted his own arms in the fissure, carefully interlocking claws with Gaius' and slowly pulling the Grovyle out in the much wider room.

Immediately Flame detected a certain discomfort—distant, almost—in his leader's face.

"Gaius? What's wrong?"

The Grovyle said nothing; stared down at his claws trembling uncontrollably. He attempted to flex each digit individually, but only half on each paw fully complied with the movement.

Flame felt shivers ripple through his back when he noticed that nearly all of his leader's claws had grown pale—not quite white, but certainly not green, either. His heart fluttered wildly at the sight. It was frostbite.

He studied his teammates' faces thoroughly, and then he clutched his chest as though to fight the pain that suddenly wracked it as he realised they both bore expressions of suffering, brows scrunched, lips twitching, teeth periodically gritting, and now frostbite. How could he have been so blind?

He took a step back, attempting to restore order to his chaotic thoughts.

They were both deep into the jaws of hypothermia. On the second floor. It was still the second floor. All his previous hopes of resisting until the fifth or eighth floor vanished; death would claim them both within the next hour unless he did something.

And then wind howled past them again, and Alice made a whimpering noise (so his heart shrank) while Gaius fell on all fours, trying to form words—no doubt curses—but failing.

"Guys?" he said, taking position in between them.

He reached out with his paw, and stroked the Dragonair's forehead. Her eyes widened at the touch—presumably due to his body heat, as indicated by her pressing into his palm. His free paw clutched Gaius', who reacted much the same way.

"Please, listen to me. I know it must be hard for you. But you have to resist. I'll—I'll make sure we get out of here alive. Okay?"

He did not catch what Gaius said in response, though he could only imagine its nature.

"… Not your fault," Alice mumbled, eyes glazed over. "Don't worry about it."

"Nonsense," he said. "You two need warmth, and you need it right now. I won't leave you to die."

Flame let go of his teammates and got up on his feet, fuelled by a newfound resolve. The idea in his mind was relatively simple: share his body heat until the two of them were in an acceptable enough condition to at least walk. Yet several obstacles arose with that option. Huddling together inside an open room like the one he was currently standing in, or even a corridor, meant too much of his warmness dissipated to truly have a healing effect—not to mention the threat from wandering ferals. If such plan were to work, he'd need to find a small, secluded spot from where his body heat wouldn't escape.

Inspecting the room, he saw stalactites hanging menacingly above his head, one—no, two tunnels leading out, no refuge to hide—ah! In a corner of the room he'd failed to see before, the ceiling sloped down closer and closer to the ground until it formed a small alcove with an entrance no taller than his waistline. Parts of him were skeptical: it resembled some Sneasel's nest more than anything. But right now, it represented their best chance for survival.

"I know what to do. Follow me," he tugged on Gaius' arm, a hopeful smile growing on his cheeks, willing to drag them both if necessary.

Fortunately, that was not the case, for both reluctantly followed him to the corner of the room, whereupon he got on his knees, lowered his head, and signalled them to do the same. The alcove was just tall enough to sit inside. Albeit cramped, that very same attribute made it perfect for sharing what little warmth could be found.

Alice poked her head inside, saw nothing of note, breathed in quickly. "Wh-why would we…?"

Flame put his paw on the back of her neck. "You'll have to trust me on this. I can keep you warm."

She blinked multiple times, eyes struggling to focus properly on his face. Gaius sent him a sideways look, but thankfully did not have the energy to argue; they both crawled inside the alcove and sat against its far wall.

He followed suit on his paws and knees, and plopped himself in between them, aware of the icy ceiling pressing against his head, ushering forth unpleasant sensations. He looked from side to side, meeting his teammate's gazes. Both sat close enough to touch his legs, perhaps subconsciously drawn to his warmness. Both stared at him in mixed confusion and unease.

"Okay, okay. How do I make this work…" he reasoned out loud.

His first feeling was to wrap either in the tightest of embraces, press as much of his skin as possible against theirs, whisper words of encouragement. Yet, that could only work on one of them at a time. How, then, could the other make similar contact with his body? She did not even have arms, after all.

Wait. That's it.

Turning to his left, where Alice sat, he wrapped his arms delicately round her middle, and slid down so that they both lay on the ground. Then, in one motion, he shifted onto his side, spun her body to face him, then closed the remaining distance between them. She posed resistance at first, struggled, only to cease mere seconds later and let out an audible gasp; pressed her forehead into his chest.

"Warm…" she murmured with her eyes clenched shut.

An indescribable joy filled him at that single word. What came next felt quite natural to do: he clutched his arms even tighter, wrapping his legs round her lower body, with her tail reflexively hooked onto his. She let out a soft coo—not of defeat, but of relief.

It's working.

And now an idiotic grin seized his cheeks, one he could not hope to shake off anytime soon.

His work was not complete, however; he brought his head back to look at Gaius. The Grovyle was still sitting in the same position, staring, letting on no discernible emotion.

"Come on, hug my back," Flame said. "What are you waiting for?"

Gaius crossed his arms. Trembling every so often, he turned away without a word.

Just like that, Flame's grin faltered.

"Gaius, please…"

The Grovyle spared him a glance, but nothing further. Seconds passed.

"The cold might kill you soon. Is that what you want?"

Gaius looked at him, did not look away, then looked down at his own paws, barely functioning at all. A quiet lament rose from the Grovyle's throat.

"F-fine," Gaius said. "Don't you dare say a word."

And thus, a smile returned to Flame's face. He turned his head back towards Alice, for it was starting to hurt. Not a few seconds later, a pair of arms slid round his back, settling on his chest, and squeezed him as another body pressed against his back. Though chilling, his leader's touch was something special in its own right. Soon Gaius' head rested on his shoulder, too.

Just about every inch of his skin was engulfed by his friends: his chest, back, tail—everything. Their mere presence brought him peace. And knowing they were entrusting their lives—him, their only hope! His cheeks flushed profousely. No, he couldn't dwell on sensation.

Yet he did exactly that, thought only of their touch, their coldness, noticed them trembling every so often. Having the alcove itself made of ice did little to help his cause, but there was no way to counter that. Had he had a blanket of some kind, perhaps it would speed up the recovery process, but he'd have to make due with the few tools available to him.

Flame barely noticed as his paw settled on the back of Alice's head, running his claws through her feathery wings, as she pressed her nose into his neck. With the same absentmindedness he filled and emptied his lungs more thoroughly; concentrated on his ember much like he would do when preparing a fire breath. For some time he worried it might change nothing. But then his tail fire swelled, and Alice relaxed in his hold, and such anxieties vanished into obscurity.

"Thank you," Alice said, voice muffled as she spoke into his neck. "I can hear my thoughts again. Thank you so much…"

"I … I'm just glad you're feeling well," he said softly.

The weight on his back then shifted, reminding him of Gaius' presence. Still his leader did not let go, did not relent—to think that death looked preferrable not two minutes ago! Now he might as well have melted into his scales, untense, involuntarily nuzzling his shoulder.

"How about you, Gaius? Does this beat the cold?"

"Sh-shut up," Gaius muttered.

"What? It's fairly obvious you're enjoying yourself. Can't say I'm useless at everything, huh?"

"… Mention this outside, and I will strangle you."

Flame grinned; for a moment, he entertained teasing his poor leader to no end—perhaps as an informal revenge—but quickly came to the conclusion that it would have come off as immature. There were graver issues to occupy his mind, in any case.

What was I going to do? Oh, right—our bags. There has to be something that can help us escape.

After communicating his intentions, he moved his paws down to her middle—her head rested on his arm—and he fiddled with the bag's flap briefly, inconvenienced as he was from this position. He tilted the bag slightly as to not make anything slide out. His paws roamed freely: there were berries gathered in a pouch, uncooked meat wrapped in cloth (remnant of their prior hunting expedition), herbs, a map, and a surprisingly soft—

Flame said nothing as he pulled out the crimson scarf, only stared at it, disbelieving. He tapped Alice's side for attention, dangled it before her wide eyes.

He smiled sheepishly. "It would have … um, come in handy earlier. Oops. Better late than never, I suppose."

Alice stared at it, then laughed, uncaring to hide the bitter undertone. "I'm such an imbecile. To think this was the reason I even took it with me…"

"Too much happened in the last few hours. I don't blame you."

With that, Flame held the scarf by its ends, then brought the middle section to her neck, over her orb, wrapping it multiple times until he deemed it firm enough. She smiled up at him in thanks, then proceeded to bury her snout in the crimson fabric.

After lingering on her for a few moments, he shifted his attention to the bag's interior again. He sighed. Oran berries would do little to stave off the cold, while the seeds would only work on ferals. At the bottom of the bag, though, his claws made contact with something disc-shaped, and metallic.

What's this?

He extracted the object from the bag: it was a medallion, its metal a lucent yellow. One of the faces, carved in great detail, depicted a heraldic eagle, along with the letters SPQU—a common theme to all things Empire-related. He flipped the medallion.

The other face depicted a large-muzzled dragon with antennae sprouting from its head. His immediate thought was that of the Emperor (what was his name? Hadrianus?) but the words circling the drawing proved otherwise.

ELANIA AUGUSTA · IMPERATRIX HADRIANI

When he turned to gaze at Alice, she stared back with eyes wide, not quite afraid but alert, and he could feel her form tense up from within his hold.

"S-sorry," he quickly shoved the medallion back into the bag.

She softened her face, relaxing ever so slightly. "It's something I keep to … remember. They don't make these anymore in Urbe. Just, uh, don't worry about it."

He nodded in apology once more, avoiding her gaze, then closed the bag's flap. He wrapped his arms round her body, the stone icy against his cheek. As feared, he'd found nothing of use. Of course, food and berries were welcome, but they would not aid in their escape. What he would give for a blanket! Perhaps he ought not to complain, fortunate as they were to have found even one scarf—but with death creeping in outside of this very alcove, there was no space for thankfulness.

"Flame," Gaius said, breaking his train of thought. "In my bag. Check if I packed the escape orb. Can't remember right now."

He turned his eyes to the Grovyle's head, which rested on his neck, almost nuzzling his cheek. Even with the gravity of the situation in mind, Flame could not help but pause to take in that detail.

Then, the true significance of those words sunk in. "We have an escape orb?"

Gaius let out a tiny growl. "Check for yourself."

Flame felt one of his leader's arms move away from his chest, withdrawing, and not ten seconds passed when a bag dropped suddenly on his exposed side. He wasted no time in using one elbow to prop himself up slightly, feeling a tinge of guilt as he pushed Alice away to make space. She began shivering almost immediately upon detaching from his scales.

"It'll only be a moment," he sent her a small smile, widening the bag's mouth.

Most of its contents were not dissimilar from Alice's: only berries pooled near the bottom, more seeds, a little wrapped-up parcel that, so far as he could tell by its consistency, contained that whiskey bottle he'd seen his leader stash whilst aboard the ship. The moment his claws touched a smooth, round object, all else lost importance. He pulled it out and held it to his chest protectively. The sphere glistened in his tail light. At its centre it held a foetus of light, suspended in eternal stillness were it not for the near-imperceptible ripples radiating from its core. Paranoia only made him cradle the orb as a mother would her child, constantly reminded of its glass composition.

"Thank Arceus," Gaius said, continuing to hold him, whether consciously or not. "I was … I almost left it at Camp Tempest. Thought we wouldn't see a dungeon anyway. Couldn't have been more wrong."

Flame partly ignored those words, already mesmerised by something else. "How do I use it?"

"Just, throw it at something. I think. It should create a rift in the anomaly that allows us to get the hell out of here. Won't last too long, though."

His head shot towards his leader's. "Should?"

Gaius breathed an audible sigh. "Never had to use one before. Wanted to keep it in case our lives were at risk, and … this seems to be it. Arceus, I was really starting to lose it earlier. We can't make it through a dozen more floors like this."

Flame stared down at the orb some more. Here it was, their only means of escape, resting in his claws. He could tell from his touch that the glass casing was not particularly tough. Within it, ripples of light emanated constantly from its core, dissipating upon contact with the casing. The encyclopedia entry pertaining to orbs resurfaced in his mind—astonishing power, those psychics—but the whether to use it immediately.

Do I use it right now?

Of course, the idea of being surrounded by ice was no more appealing than having his tail chopped off, but hesitation nonetheless took its hold. He looked at Alice, head raised as much as the low ceiling allowed, shifting position every few seconds, failing to hide her shivers. Gaius, on the other hand, continued to cling onto his chest, head rested on his shoulder.

The answer soon became quite obvious: no, they weren't quite ready to exit this refuge. His friends had not spent nearly enough time huddled against him to ward off hypothermia completely, and renewed exposure would surely kill them.

"Let's stay like this a little longer," he said, chucked the escape orb into the bag. "I don't think you're in the right state to venture out there again."

Before either of them could complain, he seized Alice by her middle, and gently lay on his side again, returning the three of them to the same arrangement as before, both tightly pressed against him.

"But—why?" Alice peered up at him from his hold. "The orb creates an exit wherever it senses a weakness in the anomaly. Wh-which is to say anywhere on this floor, really. But … don't you want to get back to safety?"

"And if this exit doesn't pop up somewhere obvious, you two could freeze to death. I'm not taking any chances. As soon as you're a little warmer, we'll use it."

Alice considered his argument briefly. "Ferals are bound to wander through here at some point or another."

He made a small smile, more so for himself than for her. "If anything comes our way, I'll fend it off."

Tentative words of protest came from Alice, before she resigned herself to basking in his warmth.

Gaius chuckled weakly, eyes shut. "We're as good as dead, then."

"What are you saying with that?"

"Nothin'. Just that I've met Pichu scarier than you."

Flame furrowed his brow, then relaxed into a smile. "Is this the thanks I get? It's not like I'm saving your life, or anything."

A groan of sorts arose from Gaius, who tightened his embrace for the umpteenth time. Flame chuckled lightly: to have the Grovyle so much as touch him would have seemed improbable, but to pass so rapidly from partly fearing his leader to snuggling with him on the floor, bodies pressed against another in previously unthinkable intimacy, left much food for thought.

"Shut up. Don't get too cozy with me."

He chuckled once again; said nothing.

"Didn't forget about the Dusknoir, either. We're still going to have a talk about that."

The mere mention of that caused Flame to tense up all of a sudden. Of course, he wasn't expecting them to: it was only rational to fear links between him and the Empire's foes, especially since scarcely a week had passed since they'd met—a fact he quite obviously needed to remind himself of. Far too many times he'd unconsciously expected from the two trust and devotion barely worthy of a lifelong friend, let alone some stranger picked up out of necessity not too long ago.

And yet, here they were. Although it would take some time, Alice and Gaius showed signs of visible recovery, and that was all that mattered. Thus, they simply opted to lay there, unmoving, hearing nothing but the other's breath, faint dripping, the feeling of stillness that permeated the very air.


End of Chapter XIII
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Alright, it took a bit longer than I'd have hoped to gather my thoughts, but I'm back with a fresh bump to my review series. Same boilerplate as the past few chapters, and you'll probably remember quite a few of the cutaways here, but I'd like to think that I still added enough fresh recommendations and commentaries to still be worth a read.

Anyhow, time for today's attraction:

Chapter XI

The ministers had reconvened at nine-thirty that morning. Since then, the sky outside the vast double-paned windows had turned gloomy and overcast, denying the sun any chance to [shed its life]. [There would be few people out on the streets of Urbe, Adrian thought. The council room became just as somber; the elaborate golden chandelier dangling perilously overhead was lit only at dawn.]

Alright, starting off with a couple nitpicks in bracketed sections.

For the first one, I think it makes sense just to be direct and make it focused around “light” instead of “life”, for instance [shed/cast its light].

For the second, it’s a multi-part thing that I have to pick with it, you might as well reframe it into a direct thought and add some sort of segue that leads into how somber the council room is. e.x. something along the lines of the below:

[ There will be few people out on the streets of Urbe today, Adrian thought. If only I too could hide away from a bitter day such as this. The council room seemed to become just as somber as the elaborate golden chandelier dangling perilously overhead similarly refused to share its light, thanks in no small part to the palace custom of only lighting it at dawn.]

Diverting his gaze from the rambling Sceptile sitting opposite him, the Dragonite let out a small sigh, struggling to find enough concentration to absorb every the Grass-type’s words. His eyes travelled downwards by themselves. There were five pokémon gauging his reaction—all hand-picked ministers, all sitting around a table with him at its forefront. Currently the Minister of Agriculture—[a tall and frail-looking Sceptile]—was reading off endless statistics about food production for the month. In a way, Adrian simultaneously listened and didn't listen. One moment his mind reflected on the possible ramifications of declining wheat production, and the very next moment he'd already drifted off to simpler times, spent running down the palace halls, laughing, devoid of harrowing duties.

Another set of brackets for this one, but you probably want to avoid reiterating that the Minister of Agriculture is a Sceptile since you IDed the species three sentences ago. Either put in an alternative epithet or something along the lines of “the rambler”/”the present speaker” since something about it currently feels a touch repetitive.

Flame: "Wait, just how long has this guy been a Dragonite? Do Emperors spend a large chunk of their adult lives just waiting to take the throne?"
Gaius: "Not long enough if this is what that old fart's thinking of in the middle of official meetings."
Alice: "I mean, a long wait until enthronement's happened before, but I think that that 'running' is just what Pokémon like me would call very quick slithering. I'm pretty sure a Dragonite running around a hallway of any sort would ruin the flooring."

"… No droughts have taken place this year, My Lord. The blame for the recent decline of agricultural output can only be attributed to war," the Sceptile went on, hunching over to read from his papers. "In fact, nearly forty percent of the north's farmers have been conscripted for military service, and as such their fields remain abandoned. The food supply in the provinces of Basilea and Aesernia remains particularly worrying. On a positive note, however, reports show a healthy harvest in the rest of our realm, where the main issue remains that of transportation—"

Reminder that at least in English, honorific addresses in the form of “My Lord” or the like have the relevant words capitalized.

Alice: "I guess that would explain why food prices have been getting out of control in town." Flame: "But going up five to six-fold overnight? How on earth did that happen unless if those 40% of the farmers just got drafted? Shouldn't it have been a more gradual process?" ._.;
Gaius: “Because Urbe gets first dibs on whatever the fields the North produces while we get their sloppy seconds?”
Flame: “Uh... right, that was mentioned during the Senate meeting. How on earth are there not Pokémon starving to death on the street with production declines?” ._.
Gaius: “Considering how our missions just now can only buy a loaf of bread, give it a couple weeks, it’ll get there.” >_>;

Adrian's paw tapped idly at the mahogany table, cutting his advisor short. "That's quite enough of that. We do not have all day. There are more pressing matters to discuss."

The minister seemed intended to add something a final comment for a moment, looking vaguely offended, but nevertheless deferred and nodded wordlessly nevertheless.

Adrian came dangerously close to letting almost let out a sigh of relief when silence reigned once again returned to the room. [It allowed him to consolidate his attention]. Wind began howling outside the windows. Something throbbed from within his head, but he largely managed to ignore it. Taking a deep breath to brace himself for what was to come, his eyes turned towards the youngest pokémon in the room: a Lucario, standing as a representative of the Imperial Army in lieu of Sycorax, who had left Urbe just a few days prior.

Let's just get on with this, he thought, swallowing unconsciously.

For the bit in brackets… I think that it could be simplified a bit, but the bigger issue is that I’m not sure if Adrian actually does get his attention together since he notices a bunch of background things. It might make sense to say something along the lines that [It allowed him to focus his attention… or at least try to.]

"Colonel, would you kindly explain to us how the war effort is going?"

>getting a Colonel instead of a lower General of some sort to be your army representative

Yeesh, I hope this guy is something a bit more impressive than a tribunus militum angusticlavius in this setting, since that’d be one hell of a slap in the face from Sycorax to not even spare a praefectus castrorum to give a debriefing.

Though if you do wind up retrofit the ranks to be a bit more thematically appropriate, I’d recommend some variant of ‘Tribune’ as bludoge’s title

The Lucario bit his lower lip briefly, feeling every pair of eyes in the room shift to him. However, he remained perfectly still in his seat.

"Of course. To put it bluntly, Your Highness, the situation at the front has not changed," the colonel drew imaginary lines along the map on the table, "All along the lines towns are constantly exchanging hands, and every offensive comes at a murderous price in casualties. Only a handful of army groups have achieved their full objectives. Further south, however, the town of Sperantia Nova has reportedly been pillaged and burnt to the ground, though an expeditionary force sent to investigate found no trace of hostiles."

Ah yes “we have reserves”. Totally a sustainable long-term military strategy there. Though considering the absolute state of Adrian’s public approval ratings and that his Benefactors aren’t exactly giving their full support, I wouldn’t exactly advise trying to break out Fabius Maximus’ old strategy book there.

Adrian leant forward to inspect the map. The town lay well away from the front lines. Yet, a different question pressed on him: was this 'expeditionary force' the one he had personally sent out on a mission? It had to have been. Feeling his heartbeat flutter, he immediately expelled those thoughts and assumed a stern expression.

"How did the enemy reach this deep into our territory? Do we not have scouting teams?" Adrian narrowed his eyes, fiddling with his claws.

"We do, Your Majesty. I am just as confused as my colleagues as to how they could have travelled so far while remaining undetected. Reports seem to indicate that they may have exploited a local spatial anomaly—or mystery dungeon, as the civilians say call them."

Adrian sat back against his chair. [Not only that, but they had never stopped multiplying.] Every other month he'd wake up to news of a new anomaly being discovered. Sooner or later, he thought grimly, one would spontaneously ingest swallow up the Imperial Palace. All a matter of time at this rate.

For the bit in brackets, something about Adrian’s thought process there feels like it’s disconnected from Colonel Lucario’s point he raised. Like he ought to be dismayed about finding out that the Scum are exploiting Mystery Dungeons in such a fashion, and then dwell on how they keep mushrooming by the month.

Flame: “Yeesh, talk about being a pill.” ._.
Gaius: “No, he’s being pretty realistic. Though how on earth has there not been an -ahem- leadership change yet if that’s his immediate reaction to things? Who on earth wants this guy to be in charge and make hash of everything?” >_>;

My father didn't have to deal with this madness…

As of about 20 chapters from now, we find out that that wasn’t fully accurate. Not that Adrian would know that.

"Tell me, Colonel. What exactly do our troops lack?" Adrian asked the question that had been building up inside him, grinding his teeth together, "Morale? Determination? Courage?"

I mean, you could try putting them under leadership that isn’t constantly tempting fate by just marching out onto the battlefield. :V

"My Lord, I assure you our troops fight courageously. The main issue is that none of us know what the enemy wants, or even who they are. Our forces are exhausted. After twenty years of continuous fighting, we have yet to figure out what it is that pushes them to fight—their goals."

Considering how Sycorax left this guy behind and a recent reveal about what winds up happening to attempts at negotiating with the Scum. I actually can’t tell whether this guy genuinely believes that statement he made or not.

Colonel Lucario: “Also our logistical networks are more or less falling apart in real-time and we’re having some sustainability issues with the losses we’re incurring. It… kinda has an effect on overall effectiveness of a fighting force, My Lord.”
701630550720512120.png


"They have no goals," a wrinkly Alakazam chimed in, wagging a single finger in the air, "Only the destruction of civilisation! That is why they rape and plunder. That is why they use portal storms to destabilise our populace before striking."

Adrian could not help but raise an eyebrow. "That is a very bold statement, Senator. What proof do you have?"

"Do you truly believe it's a coincidence that these weather anomalies we call 'portal storms' began to appear alongside the first border raids?” the Alakazam demanded. “Of course the Scum are using them as weapons! Stop being so naive!"

I mean Marius there technically isn’t wrong from what we see in the Portus expedition in a few chapters. Though it’s to be determined plot-wise how much of that is opportunistically using portal storms to hitch rides and how much of that they have genuine control over.

Adrian: “... (Why on earth have I not replaced that old fossil with somebody who doesn’t constantly make me feel like he’s plotting to literally stab me in the back?)” >_>;

The Dragonite sent a look of veiled antipathy toward the Governor of Urbe Province. Such an office did not even exist barely two years prior—filled automatically by the emperor—but mounting preoccupations had led him to appoint the elderly Senator in hopes of relieving some administrative burden. Such What a terrible lapse of judgment!

"Actually, my lord, there has been a peculiar development," the Lucario continued, tapping a [particular spot] on the map, "It happened five days ago, just west of Aquisgranam. The XI and VII Legions, led by general Varus, have been successfully besieging a large enemy force trapped between our lines and the Danubius river. It would appear that on one occasion, a small detachment of barbarians walked to our encampment and attempted to negotiate a cessation of hostilities. However, communication was extremely difficult for our troops, and in the end no side could make their demands clear."

Might make sense to slip in a teeny bit more detail regarding what that “particular spot” is. Even if it’s just a rough direction and “by a river”.

>dispatching Legions under the command of a 'General Varus' to a hinterland full of barbarians

I’m still of the school that everyone involved in Varus’ present assignment ought to have been summarily drug away and made to fight ferals in the local amphitheater for the public’s amusement. Putting a ‘Varus’ of any sort in charge of fielding legions against barbarians is something you just don’t do in a Rome-themed setting.
701630550720512120.png


Also, reminder that unless there’s a ton of ‘Varus’es floating around in Urbe, you called this same ‘mon ‘Praefect Varus’ about 5 chapters from now. Though considering his duties as described in this passage here, if the two Varuses are one and the same, Varus would probably be more accurately titled ‘Legate Varus’ like his namesake unless Urbe is having serious problems with leadership survivability and he’s technically a praefectus pro legato.

He blinked. Somehow, the enemy suddenly made less sense than it did previously.

So … they do have goals? Perhaps they are not simple brutes after all, he clawed at his chin thoughtlessly, But why migrate an entire people? Sure, I imagine the Wasteland is a cold, harsh place, but it does not explain why an entire people migrated after hundreds of years. Something must have happened there. Ugh, so many questions…

I actually wonder if Adrian is ever going to figure out the extent to which he’s been used and lied to before his curtain call. Since looking back, he somehow manages to come off as naïve about the Scum compared to his children at this point in time.

"General Varus seeks to press on their gains via an all-out assault. For this, he has requested five thousand soldiers and forty more catapults."

[ ]


"What? Has the general gone mad? I just approved further reinforcements for his legion two weeks ago!"

[The Lucario averted his gaze momentarily.]

"You see, My Emperor, there have been issues. The governor of Aesernia has issued the arriving legions conflicting orders,” he explained. “she also has begun shuffling troops around on assignments with Civil Protection and generally impedes their deployment."

Probably makes sense to slip in another paragraph before Adrian’s line there, since his mood kinda undergoes a significant change in between Colonel Lucario’s two lines. Ditto Colonel Lucario’s initial thing, since he’s not exactly highly ranked in the army and he has to be the bearer of bad news to the most powerful and important ‘mon in the entire empire who we find out also has at least a de jure imperial cult built around him, even if his lack of popularity might be undercutting it right about now.

Colonel Lucario: “Put simply, she’s using them as her personal bodyguards.”
- Adrian facepalms -
Adrian: “(Oh my gods, Ariel, can you not?)” >.<

The Alakazam grinned subtly, seizing the moment to rise on his feet. "Well said! Since we are on the matter, Hadrianus, your nonchalance is no longer acceptable. Governor Ariel gets away with everything: increasing food prices without imperial consent, commandeering legionaries for Civil Protection, and generally treating the city as her own personal fief. And you—" he pointed an accusatory finger,"—have done nothing!"

Wait, but if she’s the Governor, hasn’t she been treating the entire province as her fief?

He figured he ought to have felt a plethora of emotions. He figured he ought to have felt rage at being so blatantly disrespected—him, the emperor!—and even having [his birth name tossed about like vermin.] (Years had passed since anyone last referred to him by that name; the memory was still vivid, and he still vividly remembered the episode). He figured he ought to have defended his honour before all the other ministers. Instead, a lump obstructed his throat.

I mean, not that Marius isn’t being condescending as hell by basically scolding Adrian like a child, but what are the rules of using names for nobles in this setting anyways? Since one would think that in most contexts, calling Adrian ‘Hadrianus’ would be more respectful and not less.

Though hey, at least he didn’t just flatly call him ‘Flavius’. Bandying around praenomen like that when you weren’t close to the holder was a no-no even back in the day.
803821849384583219.png


Though now I’m really morbidly curious as to what the ‘Traianus’ of this world was like, since there’s a certain Latin phrase that’s present later on in the story that implies there was both once upon a time an ‘Augustus’ and a ‘Traianus’, and considering what its Hadrianus is like relative to the IRL name-holder…
701630550720512120.png


"… She raised food prices?"

A sense of helplessness took hold of Adrian. No longer did his eyes watch any particular minister, staring into oblivion. Perhaps it was no use trying. After all, he reasoned, the matter should have ended long ago. To persecute his conscience, saddle his thoughts with angst—nothing short of foolishness.

One of these days, we really ought to get a good look at how on earth Adrian just let Ariel get away with half the stuff she did before getting her de facto bodyguards killed off. Since something about the way he just rolls over and tunes out after finding out about what Ariel had been up to seems to imply that once upon a time they were close to each other, and that he doesn’t have the heart to move against her because of it even if he really ought to.

For a moment—he could see quite clearly—her face materialised in his consciousness; her embrace beckoned. 'Won't you come?' she'd say. She would place her hands on his cheeks; she would kiss his cheek, his nose, until all else boiled away…

The sky was starting to turn blue. No, that thought held no place now. She was gone, just like the rest of them.

Might want to slip in a hint or two for the readers that this isn't Ariel that Adrian is fantasizing about here.

I’ve heard Rebirth described before in other places as being a spiritual reboot of Overthrown/Dissolution, and while the comparison doesn’t really hold up anymore by virtue of your story having evolved into a different direction (and one that I like better anyways), it’s still fun to be able to spot bits and pieces from the two that evoke each other, especially in the first half of the story. It’s kinda like the feeling when playing games from the Final Fantasy series or the various Xeno series where you can recognize similar characters, plot devices, and thematic premises pop up between them, but also see how they hit different notes thanks to differences in execution and implementation.

Though I’ll give you props for sticking with your story and working through things that you’re not satisfied with. Since your later chapters definitely benefited from the decision, and as much stuff as I’ve found to nitpick so far in this series, I actually don’t think there’s that much structural work needed to tighten up those bits of the story you’re a bit less confident about should the fancy strike you.

After the last major aftershock subsided, Team Phalanx discovered that returning their plans to return to Camp Tempest would not be as easy as they assumed. A regime of panic had taken hold of the streets, as masses of proles fearful of crumbling ceilings flushed down onto the pavement much like a colony of ants. Indeed, the three of them were forced to divert change their path multiple times, twisting and snaking past streets clogged with debris and pokémon trying to dig through it.

Eventually Flame gave up on attempting to triangulate their current position figure out where they were, and confided in opted to trust his teammates' knowledge of the town to navigate get around. The living stream of proles flowing around him forced kept his eyes glued to Alice and Gaius, fearful out of fear losing sight of them, and meant he could only steal a few glances at his surroundings. Perhaps half the street's buildings paraded sported significant damage. Two lacked a ground floor entirely, which had been pancaked by the ones above it. Even those that looked mostly structurally intact still showed traces of seemed noticeably distressed, with scars like collapsed balconies or cracked cement.

"My god…" he breathed, feeling fatigue creep into his legs.

Flame: “Yeesh. This town’s seen its better days. Are we sure we shouldn’t be staying behind to help some of these Pokémon?”
Gaius: “No, absolutely not. We’re not exactly from a popular agency and all it’d take to get these proles riled up is a stray spark.” >_>;
Flame: “But we can’t just leave these ‘mons like-”
- A stray roof tile falls just beside Flame and shatters on the ground, making him jump back with a sharp yelp -
Flame: “Okay nevermind, yes we can just leave them!” O_O;

At some point, he stopped surveying the damage and focused solely on following the Dragonair and Grovyle in front of him.

That soon proved unnecessary, however, for before them lay just down the street, they came across an enraged mob so thick that Flame could not discern where it ended. The greater mob seemed to concentrate their attention toward a wall—there! Now he remembered: this was Ariel's villa. There were dozens upon dozens of proles crying shouting profanities and collectively pushing against the heavy steel gates.

Flame: “... Would this be a bad time to point out to those Pokémon that Ariel’s our boss-?”
Alice + Gaius: “Yes!” >.<

Although Flame held no clue as to what possibly could have sparked such disorder, a simple look around the area revealed everything he needed to know. Whilst the great walls and the magnificent villa within (only a small sliver of the roof could be spotted) both stood unscathed, scarcely three hundred metres away the entire side of an insula had morphed into lay in a shapeless pile of rubble. Before long, a quartet of Bisharps rushed to the fore of the mob and began pushing and slashing relentlessly at anything in their way. The attack only drove more pokémon to join the fray, and more guards to protect the beleaguered gates.

"I knew it—I knew it something like this would happen!" Gaius said, his voice somewhere in between excitement and concern, "It was only a matter of time. Now they're going to be at her throat until she comes out."

Alice looked on with uneasiness uneasily at the scene, before grimacing and turning away. "Arceus, this is going to end in a bloodshed. We need to get away."

Probably a good thing for those Bisharp that there weren’t a ton of disgruntled Fighting-types in that mob. :V

Flame: "... Wait, is there seriously nobody in all of Aesernia who hates Ariel that could fly over the walls or else dig under them instead of just pounding at these gates?"
Gaius: "Pretty sure 'mons like those get singled out for the harshest punishments if anything goes sideways. So I don't blame them for wanting to wait and see what happens first."
Alice: "(Urk. I think someone at the gates just lost an ear.) Look, can we get out of here while those Bisharp are still slashing 'mons that aren't close to us? This is all going to end terribly and we all know it!"

"But … what about the food rations?" Flame disputed, "That's what we came here for!"

A conflicted frown crossed Alice's face. "Too much confusion. There's no time. Let's pray we can find those legionaries later."

Gaius: “Okay, seriously, would any of us really feel bad if it turned out the side of an insula fell over onto those assholes? They were obviously going to stiff us out of those rations anyways!”
Flame: “... I mean, that doesn’t mean that I’d want them crushed by a building...” ._.;
- Beat moment -
Gaius: “... You really need to be pickier with who you have empathy for, Flame.” >_>;

He could only sigh internally to himself. Such was fate, he thought. In the end, all their time and effort had been tossed to the wind, and they’d made no progress towards the problem of securing food for themselves had not diminished one bit. Why it was as if the earthquake could sense their misery!

But the crowd left no time for debate to bemoan their lot. As if in an elaborate dance, flaring commoners began responding with spitting up streams of fire, water, and electricity, which shot in seemingly uncoordinated directions. Undeterred by the barrage, and the unfeeling guards only lashed out more savagely at the surrounding proles. Shouts and cries rang out amidst the bedlam, and Flame spotted more than a few bloodied faces.

There was a wordless consensus between Team Phalanx. The three drifted toward the very side of the road, a former pavement now strewn entirely with chunks of rubble—grand and tiny.

"Hide your badges. Try to slip through unnoticed," Alice whispered with almost shut lips.

Flame: “Uh… why are we not trying to go through literally any other street given that for all we know, Ariel’s guards are just going to Hyper Beam everything in front of the gates in about ten seconds?”
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Alice: “Because for all we know, the other streets around here are impassable? Look, if we make this quick, we can probably dodge the massacre everyone knows is about to happen.”
Flame: “P-Probably?!” O.O;
Gaius: “Flame, just shut up and move your legs, alright?” >_>;

Instinctively Flame reached down for his bag, only to remember that he had none.

That's what I deserve for being so careless yesterday, Flame snarled at himself, hopping briskly along the larger fragments of stone and mortar, I really, really need to get another bag the next time we head outside town. No sense in buying one new—not anymore.

To his side, he saw Gaius flip his bag around so that the Civil Protection badge pressed against his body. As far as Alice was concerned, she was visibly unable to remove the object without being forced to halt altogether and meddle carefully with her tail tip. Instead he detached it and tossed it in her bag without much thought, receiving a grateful nod in exchange. Yet, even such provision did not fully quell his fears—for was it not painfully obvious? Civilians never carried bags on them; whether out of it was from lack of necessity, or the price lack of means to afford them, he didn't know. Moreover, he thought—scenarios already played out in his deluded rattled brain—he'd never seen a group of multiple, radically different species of pokémon travel together as one.

Can’t tell if the ‘he’ there undoing Alice’s badge is Gaius or Flame there. I assumed Flame and was about to make a snarky comment about how Gaius’ lack of thoughtfulness was wrapping around into being a liability for the team, but the text is still interpretable as him stopping to help out of self-interest for once.
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No clue seemed to indicate that the mob directed its rage against Civil Protection as an extension of Ariel's rule, yet such worry came quite naturally. Had anyone seen them, they would doubtless be lynched on the spot.

Flame: "(Oh my god, why are we trying to make our way back to Camp instead of trying to hunker down someplace in town? You know that if someone goes through our bags, we’re going to have a life expectancy of about 15 seconds!)"
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Gaius: "(Look, can you just shut up about this until we’re not surrounded by agitated proles? If things really get to the point of roving mobs hunting 'mons like us down, do you really think they're not going to try and flush out hiding spots?)" >_>;
Alice: "(I'm with Gaius on this one, Flame. At least Camp Tempest has walls we can use for defense if we need to call for help.)" ._.

A passing glance revealed the cordon of guards unravelling before the crowd's fury. One by one they retreated behind the gates through a slim opening, shut again before any prole could force their way through.

In less time than he processed, Team Phalanx pushed aside the last few strands of pokémon who blockaded their advance. Nobody appeared to neither notice nor care about three officers scrambling off in a hurry.

Team Phalanx:
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A smile took over Flame's lips once they strayed at a comfortable distance from the roaring crowd. It did not last. Thoughts were swirling in his head violently: all the rubble, all the pokémon wandering aimlessly—what how much of that actually did just happened? For now, he simply channelled his concentration into running.

"Come on, it'll be safer once we're there," Alice breathed heavily as they dashed uphill, Camp Tempest now partly visible to their eyes.

"Any idea what's going to happen now?" Gaius wondered aloud.

"I—no," Flame replied frankly, "Maybe they'll have us dig through the rubble in search of survivors. Depends on whether Ariel can even step outside her home."

"Wasn't she around here this morning?" Alice tossed a glance at her teammates, "She's always at the Camp at midday, right?"

"Probably," Gaius shrugged, "Don't know what to hope for. Either the crowd maims her, or she comes home to find a pile of ashes. Both would spell trouble for us."

Flame: “Wouldn’t not being stuck with the agitated lizard with an axe for a face be what we should be hoping for?”
Gaius: “Again, her mood isn’t exactly going to be better if she walks in through the gate chewed up by angry proles!” >_>;
Alice: “Er… yeah. Given that Ariel’s… mercurial to say the least, I’d really rather just take my chances with her already being at camp.” ._.;

"… and we still don't have a dinner," Flame added in a murmur, as though unwilling to remind himself of such a sobering fact.

The Grovyle heaved quietly, shaking his head. "Things just keep getting better and better for us, don't they?"

Gaius: “Seriously, all that’s missing for us at this rate is a horde of Scum coming over the horizon and beelining for Aesernia-”
Alice: “Oh my gods, Gaius. Can you not tempt fate like that?!” >.<
Flame: “Hey, we’re not anywhere near the front lines, right? So it’s not as if we’d ever see-”
Alice: “Both of you. Stop. Talking. Already!” >_>;

They entered Camp Tempest in an all-out sprint, and stopped momentarily to scan the horizon. . Patches of mud persisted all over. Out of all concrete buildings in sight, only one presented wounds graver than shattered windows. A quick glance dispelled their fears that something had happened to the barracks tent complex. Despite that, officers dashed about in a disorderly panic, pushing and shouting and heading off in every direction.

Before they could elaborate what was happening, a hurried Dewott collided with Flame's body in the midst of a sprint and hurled both pokémon to the ground—him, on soft grass; the Dewott into a pool of mud. A few drops splashed over to his forearm. For a moment he contemplated whether to feel puzzled that luck did not abandon him. Then he was on his feet, eyes wide.

"Oh, apologies, s-sir—"

The officer lifted himself slowly, fur dripping with the horrid liquid, eyes fiery visibly smoldering. "Hey! What are you three even doing just standing around?!"

"I … we're—"

Flame: “T-Totally not accepting jobs from off-base and really sorry for getting you dirty like that?”
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Dewott:
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The otter ran his paw over his fur, scrubbing as much of the sludge off as possible, deeming them unworthy of eye contact. "Didn't you get the memo? Ariel's just convened an urgent meeting of Task Force Aegis. She wants every last person on the force to move their arse."

Alice: "... She's going to make us go back into town to try and save her villa, isn't she?" >_>;
Flame: "Think there's anything we could do to get out of it? Maybe we could all suddenly come down with stomachaches from that bread and cheese from the market."
- Gaius side-eye -
Gaius: "Stomachaches? Seriously? Even little kids know that excuse is full of crap. If you tried that on Ariel, you'd be lucky to have your head still attached to your shoulders afterwards!"

"Hold on—she's here?" Alice inquired, "She's alive?"

"Yes, of course. Get moving, now!" it he nearly growled, beginning to jog away.

"Uh, okay," Flame said, sensing that there wouldn't be time for a conversation, "Where, exactly?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? Just follow everyone else!" the water-type shouted as his distant voice drowned beneath a general buzz that seemed to envelop the whole town.

Reminder that you already mentioned that Team Phalanx made it back to camp a few paragraphs ago, so that should probably be “the whole camp”.

Just like that—faster than one's eyes could in the blink of an eye—Aesernia was gone. A particular, tentatively optimistic part of his intellect whispered that all hope was not lost, but its attempts at reassurance it remained only that, an attempt. Albeit While one could reason that only around a quarter of the total structures had been reduced to ruins (all or so he guess from a visual statistics survey) there hung a certain hopeless sentiment had hung in the air after the tremors, one which announced that this made him doubt the current state of affairs would not disappear any time in the foreseeable future.

Alice: "Okay now can we consider running away to Capri?"
Gaius: "How about we first survive that meeting with Ariel and whatever she's up to first, huh? You don't honestly think we can get that far before everyone would notice that we no-showed that all-hands meeting, do you?"

And yet, as Flame sat cross-legged on that humid patch of grass, surrounded by his priceless comrades, a kind of palpable guilt erupted in his system: he ought to have felt worse, it barked. Do you not Did he value your his own home so little? Perhaps his affection for this place had simply not hadn’t fully matured fully,. for After all, it’d only a week or so had passed since that his fateful awakening in the mountains. Or perhaps it was that the prevailing atmosphere made him feel as if he was suffocating he felt something akin to suffocation.

He interrupted that stream of thought to gaze around himself his surroundings again. Following the general movement of the Camp eventually led them to the training fields, the very same he and Alice had sparred just the day afore, where a sizable contingent of pokémon already sat. Since then, they picked a spot in the grass and plopped themselves down, waiting. Ariel did not arrive. Only a larger and larger stream of officers that trickled in and took their places encircling their spot, occupying more and more square metres until the entire field now bristled with creatures. The eye would physically strain attempting to merely guess at their number. Most of them appeared to either be murmuring to one another, crying openly, or quietly rummaging through their bags.

"Wow…" Flame said for the third time as he twisted his head round to see better, "This is … a lot … of pokémon. I didn't even know Civil Protection was this big."

I mean, it’s only an auxilia stand-in. Even with the Prinny game-tier attrition, it’d be more concerning if it were dramatically smaller than about this number considering the absolute state of the neighborhood.

Flame: “Also, how on earth did everyone get summoned here when a quarter of the town is a heap of rubble and there’s active civil unrest?” .-.
Alice: “Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And trust me, the thought of running into Ariel angry gives you a lot of will to show up before her.”
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[Alice did not speak immediately from her coils; he could tell something weighed on her mind as well.]

"Don't take my word for it, but I believe it stood at roughly seven-hundred members when I joined," she said quietly, "You rarely ever see everybody in the Camp all at once."

I feel as if something about the leading sentence with Alice ought to be separated from the rest of the paragraph and expanded, though admittedly I’m a tad light on hard suggestions of how to pull that one off.

"I hope we get this over with soon," Gaius bemoaned, shifting uncomfortably in the little space available, "The heat is too much. I think I'm gonna dehydrate if I don't drink something soon."

Upon careful inspection, Flame noticed that in fact both Alice and Gaius were sweating profusely, though the former did a better job of not broadcasting it publically. In truth, he wouldn't have been able to notice it alone, but there indeed was a considerable blanket of torrid air engulfing the field. It must have been due to the sheer number of creatures congregated in one spot. If anything, though, the warmth felt oddly soothing on his scales.

Flame: “Should I be more concerned that you two are sweating right now as reptiles-?” .-.
Gaius: “Look, if we can sweatdrop in the anime, we’re allowed to sweat here, okay? Just pay attention to the briefing and stop worrying so much about biology stuff.” >_>;
Alice: “Also, on the positive side, this is probably making us more resistant to heatstroke than we would be if we weren’t sweating right now.”

One positive perk of his body was that he never quite suffered the changing of the seasons. While an ice-type might glee in winter and feel miserable come midsummer, neither the scorching heat nor the cold, snowy nights particularly fazed him.

Rain, of course, was a different issue altogether; one could not obtain everything in life.

Flame should be careful what he wishes for regarding winter. After all, I can’t imagine snow falling on his tail flame wouldn’t feel as painful as rain since that’s just water in a different form factor. :V

"Cut that grin, Flame," Gaius shot back, "It's not like you're helping, either."

"What? I can't help it," he half-smiled back, fiddling with his tail tip to avoid it brushing with any unsuspecting back.

Approximately thirty seconds after he said that, a nearby-sounding voice broke into all-out crying down into inconsolable sobs.

Flame: "Actually, wait a minute. Why are there so many 'mons here that are crying?"
Alice: "Flame, remember that a quarter of Aesernia's buildings just collapsed. I can't imagine that some of the Pokémon on this Task Force don't have loved ones that are hurt or worse right now."
Gaius: "Also, the weather sucks at the moment, and Ariel's almost certainly in one of those moods that's liable to get someone killed. Even if it's a bit undignified, it's not that hard to understand those 'mons who are breaking down right now."

Flame sighed. The wait was beginning to take a toll on him, too. Perhaps twenty-five minutes had passed in cramped and uncomfortable positions. Although he did not suffer much from temperature, having dozens upon dozens of pokémon surround him and clamp down on his precious breathing space did naught to make things bearable.

Maybe I should stop whining for once, he thought, Gaius and Alice have it even worse than me—and here I am still acting like it's the end of the world.

Why those two wished to keep him close puzzled him. But it warmed his heart, all the same. Maybe they didn't wish for him to turn any warmer right now.

Self interest since they’ll starve to death without you? I mean, your thing with the blue noodle aside, Team Phalanx is admittedly mostly being held together by circumstance and shared interests at this present time in the story.
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Suddenly, following what felt like hours but likely amounted to less, something upset the swathes of officers. A general murmur arose. Flame attempted in vain to stretch himself up to identify the subject of their attention, likely Ariel. Nothing. To shift his knees would have meant collision with a large Heracross sitting just ahead; to stand up was unthinkable.

He was about to say something, but bit his tongue when he noticed silence swallowed the whole plateau. Even those still in tears bit back louder sobs. All made sense when his eyes spotted the Haxorus' figure in between two officers in front of him. More sightings followed in a semicircle, until she reached a podium-like platform on one end of the crowd. Her mean-looking legionary escort did not attempt to conceal. Among those was a peculiar form: some metallic purple insectoid—the familiarity with Scizor was undeniable, minus the pincers—with an oversized cannon attached on its back.

- Flame blinks as Sycorax sizes up the mass of disheveled and distraught TFA members -
Flame: “Who is this guy and why does he give me the weirdest sense that I want to be far, far away from here?” ._.;
???: “Heeeey, Flamey!”
- Cue spotting Virgo waving from the accompanying Legionaries -
Virgo: “Fancy seeing you here-!”
Yvaine: “Virgo! Be professional right now!” >_>;
- Flame sinks back as much as he can and throws a claw over his face as Gaius and Alice do a double-take -
Alice: “Okay, I’ll admit, it’s kinda uncanny how much we keep running into those two.” ._.;
Gaius: “Just how much did you three chum it up in that bar without me?”
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Flame: “We didn’t! That’s why this is so awkward and creepy right now!” >.<

Next to him, Alice gasped loudly. "Oh my goodness—Flame, do you see that?"

Attempting to ignore the half-dozen pokémon who stared at them for infringing the unspoken moratorium on noise, he turned to her. "The weird purple thing? Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"That is Sycorax, Supreme Commander of the Imperial Army. Legend goes he was gifted by the gods to our current emperor. Normally you would never find him outside Urbe. What is he doing next to Ariel…?"

He looked more intently, or at least as much as distance permitted. Alice continued referring to the thing as 'he', but he could spot no traits distinguishing either maleness or femininity.

To be fair, does Flame even know how to sex a Bug-Type? Let alone a cyborg Bug-Type? :V

Though I’m wondering if it actually makes sense to openly assign a title to Sycorax as part of Alice’s debriefing at this point in time. After all, considering his day job, I’d expect his army title to be one of “Legate Sycorax”, “Praefect Sycorax”, or if just going completely unsubtle and on-the-nose about what his role is : “Praefectus Praetorio / Praetorian Praefect Sycorax”.

The Haxorus took one step forward.

Now his eyes were fixated on her, much like everybody else's. Even from this distance, she did not look very pleased, eyes [almost torpid]. Oh, what must that angry mob storming her gates be thinking?

I’m not sure if ‘torpid’ is the right word there, since it means ‘sluggish’, while her later dialogue doesn’t quite read as ‘sluggish’. I’d recommend something vibing with ‘agitated’, but admittedly, I’m not sure if I have a clean read on what the intent here was.

Gaius: “I mean, if they can actually break in: ‘Whee, free stuff-!’”
Alice: “Gaius! Don’t say that while she’s right there!” >_>;

"First things first, let's get the obvious out of the way," Ariel began, voice thundering against dead silence, "Approximately five hours and thirty-seven minutes ago, an earthquake ripped through the province. Early estimates rank it as six-point-five on the Diglett scale."

No voice dared reveal itself in the audience. A thousand eyes stared, brimming with hope and fear.

[Ariel paced back and forth on stage, paws held behind her back.]

"Thankfully, most of the damage here appears to be concentrated in the lower residential areas, she said. “As you can see, Camp Tempest itself has remained mostly unscathed."

Though imperceptible, faint whispers arose from the crowd. Flame blinked. How that constituted good news escaped him entirely.

I’d recommend expanding the bit where Ariel paces back and forth in brackets to have her turn back to the audience and give some more insight into her mood/state of mind.

Also, I like how she brings this up as good news to a crowd of hundreds of her goons that are drawn directly from Aesernia’s civilian population. Including a whole swath that were likely just pulled in from prole life by that conscription regime Sycorax passed onto her.

Moreover, there lay some vague element of strangeness in their commander's demeanour, at least in his eyes. She seemed quite restrained in both words and stance, casting glances behind her back at the metal insectoid—Sycorax, as Alice called him.

"The epicentre is believed to be in the vicinity of Portus, ninety kilometres west of Aesernia. As such, to confront this emergency, I am organising an expedition to survey the place and locate any survivors. This will include both you—" she gave Task Force Aegis a sweeping look, "And embedded elements of the V Legion. Just in case. Don't expect the professionals to babysit you all, though. Supplies and wagons are being assembled as we speak."

Out of curiosity, but what was the reason behind the stylistic decision to render the Legion names as ‘[Numeral] Legion’ as opposed to being written out as ‘Fifth Legion’ as it’d (presumably) be spoken aloud? Is it a deliberate parallel to the ‘Legio V’ it’d be written out as in Oldspeak?

Also, in light of some recent revelations regarding what Sycorax’s bosses are up to, part of me has to wonder just how much of the ‘why would you do that?’ tactics of this search and rescue mission are actual incompetence versus internal sabotage.

Flame: "Hold on. Aren't a quarter of the buildings in town destroyed right now?! Why are we going so far from home when there's Pokémon that need our help right here?!"
Gaius: "Because Portus is a strategically important city and this entire province is expendable to the Empire beyond being a defensive line against the Scum?"
- Silent moment as Alice shakes head -
Alice: "If the epicenter was really near Portus though and this much damage was done all the way out here. I'm not sure there's much of anything left of the city right now."
Gaius: "I still don't understand what they expect us to do. There’s usually not anyone left to rescue after a building rescue after 3 days, and unless if I’m missing something about fast legions in this setting can march, they usually train on roughly 30 kilometer marches so they can cover as much ground as possible. Wouldn’t we need at least 2 to get out that far assuming that the roads aren’t in terrible condition from the quake and that half the task force won’t keel over from exhaustion from a hike like that?”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “... We’re Pokémon and can do better than that?”
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Gaius: “... Okay, fine. But shouldn’t they be sending air teams over in advance? Surely there’s survivors that need urgent assistance now, and they could relay information about on-the-ground conditions on our way over."

Flame exchanged looks with his teammates. No words were spoken, as though wary of breaking the unspoken moratorium on sound, but pure emotion could be read almost as easily from the eye. Both bore vexation in He could clearly see their frustration and vexation from their dilated pupils.

Another expedition? We just came back from one yesterday! he thought, a newfound object obstructing his throat.

It was, after all, a moral justice. For he wished to rest alone with his team; and now fate reminded him of the impossibility of rest. Two lengthy missions had more than taught him what to expect from Task Force Aegis. They would all walk for hours until their legs collapsed—as if a force this large was ever supposed to fit on narrow roads!—and expose themselves to danger and suffer the cold and fight until death clawed at their feet.

Perhaps he was thinking in overly melodramatic terms. There didn't necessarily have to be fighting, especially if no mystery dungeons lay on the road. And yet, he could not help but worry.

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"Officers, this is a matter of great importance. Don't worry about Aesernia: the remaining legionaries have already pledged to assist with clean-up operations, and to restore order among civilians," Ariel said, pronouncing the last word with every drop of spite imaginable.

Probably means guard duty around her villa, he thought. His thoughts wandered off to the mob-rule that had taken hold outside her villa. With the Haxorus standing before his eyes, they'd obviously failed in satiating their vengeance. He pictured Bisharp guards slashing and hacking rioters' chests open, forming a cordon behind the breached gates. Was it conceivable that the proles smashed through?

"Got it? Any questions? Good. You will rendezvous outside the western gate two hours from now. Bring whatever you can. Dismissed."

Flame: “Why am I not surprised at all that Ariel would use a legion for babysitting her villa over actually helping us?” >_>;
Gaius: “Well, what’s left of it, anyways. I hope they sacked the place and torched it.”
Alice: “Not that I really disagree with your sentiments, but can you two learn to whisper already? Seriously, just imagine if she’d heard you two there!” >.<

Unsurprisingly, Team Phalanx did not have supplies to gather. They forwent skipped visiting their tent entirely, instead taking a stroll around the town centre to digest what just happened process the day’s events. There was a lot to digest. There certainly were no shortage of those to think about.

Just when I was thinking thought we could get some rest… Flame heaved internally, eyeing the mess of plaster and dust and that coated the main road white.

Flame: “I don’t suppose that we can just no-show Ariel’s caravan and skip out to Capri can we-?”
???: “Heeeeey, Flamey!”
- Cue Virgo waving in the distance -
Virgo: “We need some help babysitting your boss’ domus! Wanna come with? We’ll slip you guys rations while you’re on the job!”
- Cue stomachs growling and Gaius looking over at the pair -
Gaius: “... I mean, sure we’d probably be the least popular members of our species in all of Aesernia afterwards, but you’ve gotta admit that sounds-”
Flame: “That’s a hard ‘no’ from me. Let’s stick with the caravan.” >.<
Alice: “Yeah… I’m also a ‘no’ on getting stuck with the open pervert for the next week. Let’s just get in our heartfelt moment here first.” >_>;

"She can't be serious," Alice mumbled, face cast downward, "We're going on another expedition. Another one! We could help dig through rubble here at home, and instead she sends us off again."

Flame reflected for a moment upon the bitterness imbued in her Alice’s voice. [ ]

"Yeah. How far away is this place? P-Portus, I mean."

Her eyes rose to meet his briefly. "Not too far, I suppose. It's a fairly big maritime city—most goods circling up north pass through its port. I think Ariel said it’s ninety kilometers away, so…" she drifted off, retreating in thought, "That should take around eleven hours on foot. Perhaps more. Travelling with the whole Task Force can't make matters easier."

In my opinion, it probably makes sense to expand the paragraph talking about Flame reflecting on the bitterness in Alice’s voice since we don’t really get a sense of what he’s reflecting on in terms of his internal thought process.

Gaius: “Just saying, it’s at least 18 hours in a straight shot if we take after our counterparts from the other Urbe. And going more than about 9 at a time likely means risking attrition from exhaustion and not being able to set up camp properly.”
Alice: “I’m pretty sure we just concluded that we can outperform that by virtue of being Pokémon?”
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Flame: “Or unless Ariel’s just expecting half the Task Force to keel over en route and that to be an acceptable loss. Wouldn’t exactly put it past her.” >_>;

A mindless sigh escaped him. Thoughts had been wracking all over his head for hours, ever since the first tremor, but … what was he supposed to think? He admitted internally to not to himself that he didn’t quite knowing yet. Perhaps it the town wouldn't all come crashing down. As he looked around, he took a little surprise in finding that if one ignored the caved-in roofs and potholes, the town centre appeared to be mostly intact (if one ignored the caved roofs and potholes). There was a chance Aesernia's pain might turn into Team Phalanx's bloodline lifeline.

Such a line of thought brought forth a vapid feeling of nausea made him feel a bit ill with himself, yes, but it didn't strip them of truth mean that it wasn’t onto something.

With an the city’s devastation likely being replicated across the entire province more than likely laying devastated, surely there would be an influx of search and rescue missions! Proles would have nothing left to offer—but the bourgeoisie would offer anything to see their loved ones safe and sound. And yet even that rosy scenario (always best-case; always stuck in wishful fantasies of his) could not budge solve problems close into looming over the near future. With Portus reportedly destroyed and its harbour unusable, supplies would undoubtedly dwindle before long. Famine might strike jointly with wintertime. What then?

Waaaaaait a minute, I could’ve sworn that even in its battered state, Aesernia and the north were still net exporting grain to Urbe given that one Senator’s complaint back in Chapter VII. Or is that in terms of “the aid we need now won’t be able to come in without that port”?

Gaius: "Again, what are we supposed to be able to do to help? We're fighters and surveyors, for gods' sakes, not engineers! You don't need the entire task force to help with something that 30 to 50 of us could do with some swift fliers to get us there overnight!"
Alice: "I mean, we have some engineering skills. Why there was that bridge-building mission yesterday!"
Flame: "Considering how low the reward was, what were the odds that we would've been doing something other than just pushing dirt around all day?"
Alice: "Er... I mean... I suppose that'd still be helpful for Portus? Since I imagine they need quite a few roads cleared right now..."

Maybe … maybe we'll have made enough money by then to leave Aesernia. Try our luck elsewhere. Too much to think about right now.

youre_serious_futurama.gif


Few pokémon hung about Victory Square. The Gyarados statue atop the fountain was split in two: the tail attached to the fountain's base, and the head, now lying fragmented on the floor. Here too the smell of plaster permeated the air, overpowering even the habitual expected scent of sweat and urine.

Flame: "Wait. Isn't that Combusken's corpse from the other day still on public display here right now?"
Alice: "I think the text meant living Pokémon hanging around here, Flame."
Gaius: "Pretty sure a wall fell on it and covered it up. But even if it's still hanging around here and the text meant things that way, that still fits the definition of 'few Pokémon'."

"Thank goodness the square hasn't been destroyed," Alice said in the same dazed voice, "It could have been much worse."

"We have less than an hour left," Gaius noted duly, and pointed to the public sundial. It consisted of little more than a square slab painted with twelve clockwise numbers, a triangular blade jutting out in the middle and casting shade upon one of the numbers.

With nothing else to do but loiter, Team Phalanx drifted onto one of the roads which branched out from the square. Around the corner, dozens of pokémon were preoccupied sifting through smaller pieces of rubble, and two carried away what appeared to be a lifeless body now painted entirely in milky-white dust.

Flame:
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Gaius: “I don’t see why you’re getting theatrical like this when we’re almost certainly going to see a lot more of this in Portus.” >_>;

"Arceus. I … I really don't want to leave," Alice whispered, "It almost makes me feel like a coward. The essence of our job is protecting our fellow citizens—and now we're just going to abandon them in a time of need."

Gaius:
youre_serious_futurama.gif

Alice: “Okay, Gaius, can you not? That’s the third time that gif’s popped up in this review already!” >_>;

Gaius shrugged in a wide motion, managing a small, albeit forced smile. "Not our choice. Besides, what's left for us if we stay?"

"Technically that's true, but, still…" Alice's voice wandered off.

"Think about it: there will be plenty of opportunities to forage in the wilderness. It'll solve the problem of tonight's meal, and then some."

Alice said nothing further, only exhaling softly. Her gaze seldom lifted off the ground.

I mean, yeah, he’s being more than a little self-centered there, but considering their batting average for getting food in-setting… can’t really fault Gaius for thinking with his stomach there.

Immediately Flame sensed a moral impetus to act. His mind wished to retreat back into thought, but that only dug a deepened the emptiness empty feeling in his chest. No, too much thinking destroyed your would destroy his sanity. After some minutes spent walking, he decided to take initiative.

Just to see her troubled like this was intolerable.

"Hey … are you feeling okay, Alice?" he asked in the most tender tone he could muster. What a question to ask! Obviously she wasn't, but to just showing that he cared, he thought, would amount to a kinder gift than any petty reassurance.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just … thinking," Alice said quietly, raising her eyes to meet his, only to look away once more.

He nodded, smiling softly in empathy. Almost as if on by reflex, his claw ended up on her back. For a moment, he held his breath at committing over making such a forcibly intimate gesture. For a moment, he considered withdrawing it pulling his paw back and trying to pretend he’d never thrown it out, until he noticed that she did not protest in the slightest.

Alice: “... Flame, not that I’m complaining, but you do realize that this isn’t exactly a romantic environment, right?” :|
Flame: “I-It was supposed to be platonic, I swear!” >///<

"It all happened so quickly," she continued, "One moment we're fretful fretting over food prices, then all of a sudden the earth starts shaking, and no one knows what will happen next."

Dozens of bird pokémon flew overhead in tight formation, though Alice did not appear to notice them as she continued to pour her heart, so embroiled she was in spilling her mind out.

"Heck, this isn't technically even my proper home town. I should despise this place. Ever since leaving the South I've faced nothing but hardship, and yet … it hurts. It hurts to see Aesernia in this state."

[ ]


"I … I was starting to grow attached as well,” Flame added. “No matter how filthy, it's our home. My home. It's the only one I remember having, anyway."

Would recommend adding some description of what’s swirling around in Flame’s head in the bit in brackets and adding an explicit speech tag for him there. Since the dialogue is a bit ambiguous at this point. Alternatively, keep the dialogue the same, but make it explicit in the very next paragraph after the one quoted here that Alice is staring back at Flame.

Flame: "Hold on a moment, Alice. You told me back in the Library that you remembered playing in Urbe's gardens when you were younger. Wasn't that your home before you came to Aesernia?"
Gaius: "Yeah, I don't see how either of you get off calling Aesernia dirty. The prole districts of Urbe are supposed to be bad enough that rich 'mons ditch the city every summer to avoid getting sick from all the outbreaks of disease there!" >_>;
- Alice 'uh' expression before shaking head -
Alice: "I-I mean, that doesn't mean I like seeing my adopted home in a state like this! I'm allowed to feel nostalgia for it too!"
Gaius: "(Yeah, I'm not buying that.) If you say so, Alice."
Flame: "(I guess it'd be rude to undercut her moment, huh?) Well, if it's any consolation, I'm sure we'll miss Aesernia too."

Alice stared wordlessly with a hint of surprise. Her expression showed two things: firstly, that in the last few days she had completely forgotten that he had amnesia; and secondly, that sharing her thoughts helped alleviate a fair amount of her melancholy.

"Look at the bright side—at least we all get to be miserable together, right?" Alice said playfully.

Flame + Gaius: “...”
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Alice: “Look, I was just trying to lift the mood, okay?” >.<
Gaius: “Try something else!” >_>;

"Eh, that's what we've always been doing," Gaius replied, the veiled smile on his face contradicting those words.

He chuckled, carried away by the sudden current of upbeatness. For a moment he forgot all traces of death and devastation in his head, instead replaced by morbid awe at his team's sheer cohesion.

Boy is it ironic to read Flame’s perception there that given that in the most current chapter of the story at the time of posting, the team arguably has fallen apart entirely or else is in imminent danger of doing so and basically waiting to be reassembled.

But as soon as he paid attention to the surrounding flow of pokémon, something caught his eye. A Swampert, headed toward them. Something in it sparked familiarity. It He locked eyes with Flame.

"Oh…" Flame said, piecing together the hints, "It's … it's you."

The Charmeleon wasn't entirely sure what happened in the following instants, other than he took off into the crowd like a lightning bolt.

Behind him a great cry roared.

"Thief! Get back here!"

Current mood music:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-0oVNMcEjg


Without really needing to turn around he knew at once the merchant was giving chase. He dashed and pierced through multiple formations of townspeople, butted an innocent bystander to the ground and only resorted to snaking his way around when the crowd's density grew too impenetrable. Now his desperate escape had aroused quite a commotion, and some pokémon dove away from the incoming red-scaled missile.

Flame: "I miss nothing! I miss nothing! I don’t wanna become sausage! Get me out of here!"
- Gaius and Alice watch Flame exit stage left chased by a Swampert -
Gaius: "... Probably a good thing I didn't listen to you and try to help him haggle, Alice."

The walls—I need to reach the walls. They're so close!

He felt air rush past him much like [during a light breeze], when a realisation entered his panicked mind: hurling down the road in a straight line would render him make him awfully predictable for the Swampert to find and cut off.

So in a split second his psyche identified he spotted a secondary road relatively devoid of pokémon, and there was no darted towards it without hesitation. Nobody seemed to notice when he deviated changed course, and—with periodic looks behind his back—the last stretch to the rendezvous point blurred until he was back onto the main road. Here the gates stood wide open. Very briefly He stood motionless for a brief moment, tempted to regain catch his breath, but decided to stick with other officers for paranoia's sake. Just then a four-member team exited the great wooden doors, past a set of unmoving Bisharp guards. (Always Bisharp—Ariel must have been fixated with them, he thought).

One would think that Bisharp would have more of a reputation for being bagaudae in this setting given that they apparently are modeled after bandits in Japanese folklore, but hey, if they’ve got a track record, there will certainly be demand for them.

Just don’t distribute any Brick Break TMs among the Scum, otherwise Aesernia’s gonna have some problems. Well, more than it already does. :V

Stumbling outside of Aesernia, and flattening himself against the cold stone of the outer wall, his heartbeat gradually returned to a healthy rhythm. He rested a paw on his chest to make sure of that, bordering on dizziness and felt a daze settle over him. The fatigue seemed to hit him all at once. realistically, it hadn't even He couldn’t possibly have been running for that long, perhaps one or two minutes. And yet, each breath felt heavy, oozing with both relief and exhaustion. About a dozen distinct aches dotted his thighs, all of which flared with every passing moment.

Way to go, idiot, he thought, gritting his teeth and growling faintly at himself.

He should’ve known Of course it something like this would happen. Eleven hours of journey loomed ahead of him, all rigorously on foot, and of course fate would force him to flinging his body to its exertion tax his body to its limits would happen right beforehand. He knew not whether to blame himself or destiny. The Swampert did appear unexpectedly—certainly an event he could not control. But did he truly need to burst away like a madman, make a scene in front of everyone?

Flame: “M-Maybe they didn’t see it?”
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His eyes wandered to his surroundings. Squads of officers and legionaries alike left Aesernia's confines walls, a few sparing perplexed glances in his direction, and walked to an impromptu assembly just down the dirt road, where dozens of wheeled wagons covered by a cloth roof were being lined up perpendicularly with one another. Uncountable numbers of pokémon already flooded the streets and spilled onto the surrounding prairie. How that many creatures would follow one narrow path remained a mystery.

Before long, one of the outbound Civil Protection teams turned out to be a certain Dragonair and Grovyle duo. Some portion of him feared that the enraged merchant would emerge at any moment behind them, but such did not happen his fears never came to pass. He waved his paw up high to capture their attention, and they joined him below the outer walls.

"Flame? What the hell was that about?" Gaius gave him a sideways glance, speaking slowly.

Flame: “...” >.<

"R-remember the cheese we ate earlier?" he said, panting lightly, resisting the urge to look away.

[Alice's eyes sparked with realisation.]

"Oh. So that's who you stole it from…"

He nodded plainly. Traces of discomfort lingered in her gaze, but he acted oblivious, knowing not what to say that would alleviate the distaste she likely harboured for what he did.

Regardless of that, Team Phalanx sat down to gather precious rest, knowing what just how arduous a journey lay ahead of them.

It might make sense to expand the paragraph in brackets where Alice has her reaction. e.x. showing that discomfort off a bit more there upfront.

Gaius: “Flame, need I remind you that Alice has literally told you she’s helped me mug proles in the past?”
Alice: “And need I remind you that the text very clearly indicated that I wasn’t comfortable with that and just did it to get by?” >_>;
Flame: “Look, let’s just get moving on this trip, since I can already tell that this is gonna suck.” >.<

[Flame was tired. He felt dead tired.] But even more importantly, he was bored out of his wits.

Not long after departing, the expeditionary force was forced to cross a bridge over a river one wagon at a time[; but that was about the most interesting event to befall them]. The rest of their journey had been a nightmare of boredom and sweat. For marked by hours they marched and marched of marching without so much as one moment of rest. [The conscious act of walking slipped out of his perception entirely, now little more of a mechanical impulse than breathing.]

He found no solace would not greet him in the landscape, either. Lush forests alternated with rolling plateaus, and even dry hills every sporadic hour—and yet after a while, it all started to look the same after a while. At some points he even craved to enter a mystery dungeon, if only to bring some excitement into play!

Alright, three brackets for you to consider:

For the first, something about the “Flame was tired” bit feels a bit off . It might make sense to approach it more from the angle of [ [X] hours later, Flame felt tired. Dead tired. ] Since that’s a detail that in the current text is not communicated to the reader.

For the second, it might make sense to phrase it as something like [ [...] time… which had been about the most interesting event of their trek. ]

For the third, something about the formulation seems a bit clunky. You might find something like [ Eventually, just walking ahead stopped being a conscious activity he was aware of, which by now was about as mechanical and reflexive an impulse as his breathing. ] to be smoother.

Gaius: “Flame, why would you wish for that?” >_>;
Alice: “Er… at least him being used to going into Mystery Dungeons is a positive thing for our future missions on the Task Force? Certainly gonna need to be doing a lot more of that if this is just what we’re gonna do for the foreseeable future.”
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But undoubtedly the hills were undoubtedly the absolute most excruciating bit of the journey. Once the wagons became stuck in a pool of mud and their carriers realised help would be needed to make it uphill—all scary-looking Pokémon like Aggron and Machoke and Rapidash, all scary-looking—no officer was spared from having to wet their legs and tails in slime, pushing the ungodly heavy wagons one by one for however many kilometers required [(Alice merely pretended; the lieutenants would not hear that she had no arms)].

For the bit in brackets, it might make sense to take the comment out of parens and put it in its own sentence. Not sure if I’m nailing the intended vibe right, but my suggestion would be to drop in something like [ Or else pretend to, after all Alice had no arms of her own, and yet the lieutenants would hear none of it and insisted that she and others of her ilk wallow in the mud anyways to put up a show of effort. ]

Gaius: "Oh for crying out loud! That's got to be the sixth time this crap has happened already! Why are we even on an unpaved road right now? There's supposed to be an entire network of stone ones that merchants use!"
Flame: "I mean, a bunch of the roads to Portus are out and we're going with anything that's still open? Though what do you even expect them to do, Gaius?"
Gaius: "Oh I don't know, have an Ice-Type freeze the mud first so that the wagon can pass through it without getting stuck?" >.<
Alice: "Wait, that works?
Gaius: “Yes. It does, at least it thaws out again. Never heard of ‘rasputitsa’ before?”
Alice: “... But we live in a region with a Mediterranean climate. How on earth did you-?” .-.
Flame: "Look, whether it works or not, the wagon's stuck now and I don't think freezing the mud while it’s stuck up to its spokes in it would help it get unstuck. So let's focus on getting it moving again here." >_>;

Every now and again he entertained himself by watching a scouting team composed solely of birds, soaring far above in tight formation and completing periodic surveying loops round the Task Force. No updates; nothing short of other than the expected wilderness ahead.

Oh? No dragons or other flying Pokémon on-duty for that? I mean, sure they might be a bit rare, but you’d think that nobody in the army would say ‘no’ to the idea of a Drifblim or Salamence scout. :V

Perhaps chatting with his teammates would have helped keep his mind off of just how dull things were, but chatter had been banned within the first hour of force-marching. Not that he could blame the lieutenants, of course. An army so large definitely surely produced enough noise to turn a pokémon deaf.

A little nitpick, but given that the characters in-setting have been fairly adamant that Civil Protection’s staff are civilians, it might not make sense to directly call them an ‘army’. Something more generic like a ‘party’ might make sense, or else something like a ‘veritable army’ where you make a comparison to one but call it that outright.

And so, left to its own devices, Flame's mind inevitably fell into the single action which would unequivocally ultimately be the end of destroy him: thinking. For no matter how long he kept them his thoughts at bay, no matter how many wrapped them under layers of glass he wrapped them under, his thoughts they would inevitably catch up to him. And chief amongst those them was always the topic of his past.

He closed his eyes briefly, breathing out a small sigh as he trampled grass stalks. Nothing had changed. Nothing made sense. Questions that had arisen during his first day in this world remained in a sort of limbo like unmoved behemoths. Why was he here? Who was he? What on earth had happened to him?

[Why was he here? The question looped endlessly in his inner echochamber.

He put a claw to his chin and closed his eyes.]

In this past week, I've made no progress in figuring out who I am or what happened to me. But where do would I even look? Alice said the Scum might have something to do with me, but that's just a theory. No concrete proof. Think, Flame, think…

For the bit in brackets, I think that it might make sense to collapse those two paragraphs there into one, and maybe expand a bit. For instance, something like this might be worth playing around with:

[ The last one in particular kept echoing in his head: Why was he here? He had no answer to it, nor any of the others, and yet in spite of coming up empty-pawed time and again, he kept finding himself wondering the same question. This time was no different, as he put a claw to his chin and closed his eyes. ]

Most surprisingly, the fact that he was walking and the fatigue somewhat helped his psyche mind carve out realistic possibilities of how events might have unfolded, and work backwards to find solutions for how to confirm them one way or another.

Many times he'd been told that Charmeleon were not a common sight up north. That meant he very likely was not originally a native inhabitant of Aesernia, or the surrounding area. That left the southern portion of the empire (the map appeared behind his eyelids) at play as a potential place of origin. The map from Aesernia’s library suddenly appeared behind his eyelids and in his mind’s eye. There were immense swathes of land there, certainly, but nonetheless fewer possibilities than before.

Suppose he'd joined the Imperial Army, and combat drifted brought him up north, fighting claw-to-claw and tooth-to-tooth; suppose . If the assumption held, it wasn’t terribly hard to imagine a scenario where a particularly able psychic had ambushed him, wiped his memories clean, and then left him to freeze solid in that very cavern.

In such scenario If something like that had happened, surely he'd left some kind of family member behind who now remained was distressed at his disappearance. Or Maybe they’d even come searching for him

I mean, considering that pawprint that Flame found in Castra Aeterna, there was another possibility all along dangling right in front of his face that he doesn’t consider until a few chapters down the line. I’d make a joke about him getting stuck in an equivalent to Spanish Buzz mode from Toy Story 3, but how Flame managed to get himself stuck on the opposite side of the language barrier with the place that thus far has the strongest claim to being home for him in this story remains a mystery that I'm genuinely curious about.

For a moment, he halted stopped in his tracks after hours upon hours of march. His eyes widened in enlightenment.

Of course! How could this have escaped him? It was so simple!

All he needed to do was find one another member of his fellow Char evolutionary line. None were native to this region the North. Thus, for any to present themselves meant a high likelihood of them being said family—a brother or a sister, looking for him!

… How is he not getting run over by all those Pokémon behind him in that marching column? :V

Gaius: "Gods, Flame. That's not how any of this works! For crying out loud, that's like saying that Alice's royalty just because she's a Dragonair!"
- Alice swallows some spit down the wrong hole and bowls over hacking, as Gaius look back at her -
Gaius: "Swallow a bug or something?"
Alice: "I was just a little surprised by the comparison, that's all."
Gaius: "I mean, it's about the same odds. Why for Flame to just happen to run across the right-"
Flame: "I get it alright? Sheesh, just let me have my shot in the dark here!" >_>;

Almost on cue he brought his eyes to analyse the composition of the army group in front and behind him. The wagon convoy that stretched almost as far as the horizon covered much of the force, but from what he could gather no fellow Char stood out amongst the crowd.

This surprised him very little. If his family wouldn't come to him, he thought, then he would go find them himself.

Smiling widely, he paused to appreciate how pleasant it felt to have a long-term goal, one not tied to Team Phalanx's current mission or day-to-day survival. [It gave him purpose.]

High above, the scouting birds squawked in unison.

Reminder re: the ‘army’ bit here. Also for the [It gave him purpose] bit, I think that would probably be best to expand it to show more of Flame’s thought process, though I was admittedly drawing blanks on hard suggestions of what to drop in.

Flame maneuvered his way through dappled light and shade, venturing deeper into the coniferous forest. He had to make a conscious effort to keep his tail fire from brushing against endemic shrubbery. Nettles grew alongside ferns and seemed to intermingle into one thick, messy layer of undergrowth. From somewhere deeper in the heart of the woods came the droning of Spearows.

"So…" he hopped over a fallen log, "Ariel didn't even come along with us? After everything she said?"

Every word was alternated with loud snaps from the trampled needle-like leaves and withering twigs. [ ]

"That's her quintessential nature," Alice frowned, "We're sent to risk our lives, while she relaxes in her thermae."

You probably want to slip a sentence or two in the bit in brackets to clearly communicate that Alice and Gaius are present with Flame to the reader. Since the paragraphs beforehand read as if he’s alone.

Flame: “... Of course.” -_-;

"Oh, I hope those proles burnt her villa down for good," Gaius said. The gecko stopped briefly to run his claws along a tree's bark, leaving superficial scratch marks behind.

Such possibility, in hindsight, should not have evoked surprise him or anyone else on Task Force Aegis. [It grew when the expeditionary force had stopped to set up camp on a naked plateau overlooking what the lieutenants claimed to be the Portus countryside]. Only then did those everyone in the force realise that Ariel had not quite followed with them.

I might be misreading the intent of the second paragraph, but I think that in the bit in brackets, it might make sense to frame it more in terms of Flame overhearing more and more of the randoms on TFA expressing surprise, since we go from “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this” on a personal level for Flame, to “Only when they started putting up their camp did everyone realize that Ariel wasn’t present”.

Gaius: "Again, how is this surprising to anyone at all when everyone in Aesernia knows what Ariel is like?"
Flame: “Look, I only have continuous memory of the last 2 weeks of my life, okay?” >_>;

Whilst dozens upon dozens of tents began to spring up, it was Gaius who suggested that they slip out into the nearby woods to hoard as much precious food as they could physically transportable carry.

Now, as they continued, he internally marvelled at how the coniferous trees towered over all everything—so slender and fragile, yet the needle-thin leaves only began sprouting where a regular oak tree would end. Consequently, the forest's practical rooftop left swathes of unblocked air, allowing wind to kiss one's skin.

Gaius: “... Not that I’m complaining about the chance to go and get some grub, but I can’t help but get an uneasy feeling camping this close to the woods.” ._.;
Flame: “Why, what’s wrong with the woods?” :?
Alice: “They’re… kinda terrible places to get into fights as a large army formation. And there’s history to back that one up.”
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Flame: “Why’s that a problem when A: we’re technically not in the army, B: we’re here for a rescue mission.”
- Gaius and Alice look off at the woods, before shaking their heads -
Alice: “Yeah, you’re right. We’re nowhere near the frontlines, so maybe I’m just being paranoid.”
Gaius: “Yeah, and I checked the way up the plateau. I think there’s only one path up coming up here from the plains outside Portus? How hard could it be to plant some Spikes over it and defend it if we had to?”
Flame: “Well I hope they’re not spreading it now when we have to take that path first thing tomorrow morning! (Also, pretty sure you just tempted fate there, Gaius.)” >_>;

Not long afterwards they came upon an ample break in the trees, where moody sunlight streamed freely. It took but a few steps to realise that there was a fairly broad river slicing up two wooded areas, flowing with foamy impetus vigor. He Flame halted to inspect the river closer. Both the its riverbed and its banks were coated perfectly with jagged rocks of variable size. At no point did the water ascend above hypothetical waist-level, but it still looked like something any sound-minded Charmeleon would rightly mistrust.

"Should we focus on gathering something in particular?" Flame said, his eyes fixated on the pure current, "Like meat or berries?"

Gaius took a few moments to reply. "The two of you stay here and fish. In the meantime, I'll pick any berries that come up and look for ferals. Sentret shouldn't be too hard to find."

"Let's see…" Alice hummed, "I believe there were legionaries fishing downstream: I doubt they shall take kindly to us stealing their prey."

"Ugh, fine…" Gaius heaved, "Bloody bastards, playing our own game. Do what you want. I'm going hunting—see you at sunset."

"Hang on!" Alice raised her voice as the Grovyle turned to leave, "How can you be positive that you won't get lost?! Let's stick—hey! Gaius, listen to me for once!"

But Gaius had already begun dashing parallel to the stream, and exited auditory hearing range mere seconds later.

Boy does that second-to-last paragraph read differently a second time around in light of some later-story events.

Flame: “Aaaaaand he’s gone. How on earth are you two still together on a team again?” -_-;
- Cue stomachs growling -
Alice: “... Practical concerns. And I know that Gaius can be a real pill sometimes, Flame, but trust me, having someone to lean on is better than nobody. Even if that someone can be a real jerk sometimes…” >_>;
- Flame side-eyes -
Flame: “If you say so...”

Alice muttered something nefarious under her breath, diverting her eyes to the water and forest surrounding them.

"I think we should try," Flame looked her directly in the eye, "Nobody will ever know if we only catch a couple of fish and leg it. Are you up to it?"

Alice let out a chuckle, one not of derision, but of happiness. "Wow. First bread with cheese, and now fish. Eating like royals, aren't we?” she asked. “But yes, I think we can try."

Flame: “... Cheese on bread and fish is the sort of food royalty eats here? That sounds so… modest.” .-.
Alice: “What? No! No! Flame, I was being sarcastic! There’s no way royalty would normally eat that stuff!”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “... Where’s the ‘normally’ coming from?” :?
Alice: “I… er… it’s a presumption? After all, royalty has some really strange characters floating around out there.” ^^;

"Fantastic," Flame nodded, "I'm assuming you already know the process."

"… Somewhat. 'Tis a skill I was never taught, but the theoretical part is relatively easy to grasp. Leave Give me a few seconds to word explain this properly."

She drifted closer to the edge of the water, dipping her tail tip in it, as though to gauge temperature and the current intensity.

"Okay, so … the aim is to first stir confusion among the fish, preferably by denying them a chance to escape downstream, and one must then electrocute the water. Any fish should instantly shoot up. Just make sure to catch them as they fall."

Flame: “... And I’m doing this over a fast-moving river with jagged rocks at the bottom when I’ll get into a near-death experience from getting my tail flame doused why?
701630550720512120.png

Alice: “Because Gaius ditched us to go hunt on his own and you’re the only one with arms.”

Flame hummed loudly. "Makes sense. Between us two you're the only one capable of electric attacks, so that's that. As for me…"

He brought his gaze all round to analyse the river. A voice in the back of his head doubted he could provide much help. Not that he lacked the intention: the stream was anything but impassable, and yet he did not wish to immerse one toe inside it.

No obvious solution presented itself until — there! That's when he saw it. A rough line of rocks jutting out of the stream, surrounded by foam, sufficiently flat and close to each other to be considered a haphazard bridge.

Flame: “Oh thank goodness, I thought that I was actually going to have to wade out into that thing for a moment. ._.;

Without so much as a word, Flame walked forth to where his toes actually did touch the water. It was freezing, much like he expected. For multiple, undecided moments he stared at the first of the many rocks, picturing possible aftermaths of disastrous falls—a slippery surface, that was all it took.

But those thoughts were soon held at bay by an impetus desire to show initiative, and for whatever reason he felt a particularly strong bout of self-confidence which originated from inside swell from within him, rather than any individual praise or compliment.

Come on, Flame. It's easy. Show her you're not afraid.

Swallowing, he paced back a few steps, dashed forth, and jumped over his fears. Upon landing his balance suddenly teetered, but the rock was relatively flat enough to allow him to recover.

"Flame? What are you doing?" Alice's voice inquired from behind.

"I have an idea."

Flame: “... Which hopefully won’t end worse for me than just wading out into the river.”
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Once sufficiently stable, he bent his knees carefully and, with another hop, reached a second rock, this one engorged akin to an oval-shape, but also marginally larger. In an effort to keep his feet still, Flame promptly brought his paws down as secondary support, much like a quadruped.

Were it possible, he would have driven his claws into the rocky surface to anchor himself. Every sight, every sound, so close he felt made him feel like he was on the verge of to slipping and falling to certain demise.

See? That wasn't so bad. Now…

Doubt creeped into his mind, but he shook it away immediately, and held on in the middle of the river.

Flame: “S-See! I made it out here on my own! I can do this!”
Alice: “Good job, Flame! Though how exactly are you going to catch any fish clinging to the rocks like that?”
Flame: “... Er…”
401076862924750848.png


"Okay, um … I'll use my fire to stir some confusion," Flame turned to Alice, "Once I have them trapped, you go in for the kill."

Alice nodded, looking rather curious. After all, standing on four paws must have been quite an amusing sight, he thought.

Filling his lungs with air, Flame wasted no time to follow standard attacking procedure: no sooner than he could puff his chest did his throat start to clench shut, and a lively, scorching jet of fire spewed out of his jaws and into the water.

No thought was required. Upon contact fire turned to steam, and was accompanied by a crackling hiss that closely symbolised made him wince with memories of past pains. A localised trail of smoke steam quickly developed into an entire cloud. Fire kept streaming undeterred, pounding the river's surface and doubtless boiling it to temperatures unbearable for any fish. The onslaught continued for nearly an entire minute, at which point dwindling oxygen forced Flame to stop.

No sooner than he began gasping for air did Alice shoot a small net of electricity directly inside the stream. Water itself seemed to twitch, as ripples emerged all over. Then, quiet. Only the sound of his laboured breathing. He looked on with anticipation when an object emerged from under the surface—a fish, Magikarp to be exact, followed by another and another and five more simultaneously. All unmoving. Noticing that the strong current was drifting pulling the motionless fish away, he reacted on instinct and quickly seized the only fish drifting within his arm’s range.

He put it on the rock, pressed under both his paws to keep it still, although the Magikarp hardly struggled before going limp. The heat emanating from the fish’s body only momentarily surprised him. It certainly did look unexceptional, though he would have to taste its flesh for himself.

Still will be curious to see if there’s any fish/purely water-dwelling Pokémon that aren't ferals in this setting. Since being able to secure their cooperation would have potentially critical geopolitical implications for the ability of various land factions to project naval power.

Looking at the riverbank revealed that Alice had caught a fish of her own. [ ] They both looked each other in the eye.

"Did you see that? I didn't think we'd make it catch something on the first try!" Flame shouted whilst attempting to retain balance in his quadrupedal posture.

"Me neither," Alice said, "I honestly expected fishing to require more effort. Had I known sooner, think of all the meals we could have caught! We'd be eating like royalty every other day."

- Beat moment -
Flame: “... This is seriously your first time fishing? I thought that Dragonair were supposed to be aquatic, though.” .-.
Alice: “I… didn’t exactly get many opportunities to do so before this.”
701630550720512120.png


"I wouldn't quite call Magikarp 'royalty food', but in our situation, that's the closest we can get."

"Oh, would you rather eat Gorebyss fillet?" Alice grinned playfully, "Is that the bar you're setting?"

Flame laughed. "Now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind trying some."

I actually can’t tell from Alice’s dialogue whether Gorebyss fillet is supposed to taste good or awful in-setting. Since now I’m curious and kinda hungry myself. :V

Standing up on wobbly footing, he managed to jump back to the bridging rock without tumbling, claws sunk into the fish's skin out of paranoia. From there, it took one last hop for him to return on firm land.

Flame: “Whew, thank goodness that’s over with.” ._.;

Alice was struggling with getting her bag open, so he mindlessly did it in her stead, storing both fish inside, and earning a nod of thanks from the Dragonair.

Two isn't enough for all of us, though, he thought, Certainly not enough for more than one meal…

His eyes wandered back to the bunch of dead fish floating away farther and farther downstream. Alice's own gaze followed his.

"Right. I almost forgot about our 'rivals' downstream. They'll undoubtedly deduce our activities here from the other fish. Here Come on, let's go," she turned counter to the stream's flow, the water on her left.

"Okay, but…" Flame walked by her side, "There's only two fish. What about Gaius? I don't think he'd appreciate being excluded."

Alice:
youre_serious_futurama.gif

Flame: “... Isn’t that the fourth time we’ve used that gif in this review?” ._.;
Alice: “Sorry, but the situation just called for it, as for Gaius…”

"Hey—we did all the hard work, we get to enjoy its fruits," she raised her snout, "Besides, remember what he put us through this morning?"

Indeed, he remembered. Faced with the prospect of splitting their rations, the Grovyle had refused to share a crumb of his bread with cheese. That memory suddenly evaporated erased any worry for their team leader.

- Gaius pokes his head out of the woods with an annoyed frown -
Gaius: "Alice, you literally never asked me for any of my half of the loaf!" >_>;
Flame: "Would you really have given any of it if she did, Gaius?" :|
- Gaius blinks and awkwardly hems and haws -
Gaius: "Er... I mean, maybe if she made a case for why she needed some, I'd have shared it..."
Flame: "Gaius, you can just admit that you'd have said 'no' already!" >.<

Among other topics running through his mind, he wondered whether the two if Alice and Gaius had always held this opinion of near- almost open disdain for each other. In fact, the details of how Team Phalanx came to exist interested him a great deal. If Alice was born in the tranquil South, why was she here, amidst poverty and famine? And Gaius!—not one mention of family or friends or past life. Right now, however, he would only be able to ask her. He bit the inner part of his lip as he mulled over the options. Perhaps she would not wish to disclose her past—perhaps she’d even take offense, even. He would need to word such a question with extreme care.

I actually wonder if anything would’ve changed about the dynamic between Alice and Gaius at this point in the story if they knew each other’s life stories in full, or if things would’ve ultimately turned out about the same between the two of them.

"Um, Alice," he said, waiting for her attention to be drawn turn to him, "Would you mind if I … asked a bit about your past? I still don't know you or Gaius properly. B-but if it's too intimate to share, I understand. Heck, I'd gladly tell you my story, but … you know…" he drifted, nervousness stealing syllables from his mouth.

To be fair, I dunno how much Flame would really want to tell his life story if he knew it at this stage in the story given that from what the story offsite has revealed of it, being too open about it around the wrong Pokémon likely would’ve resulted in a very swift and abrupt end to the story as a whole.
701630550720512120.png


She stared at him with a tiny grain of apprehension, silent. After a few seconds, she gave him a half-nod. "I suppose you're right. We are teammates, after all. Ask me whatever you wish."

"Thanks. So … I was wondering, what brought you up here? You were born in Urbe, right?"

[ ]

"Yes, that is correct. I've lived in Urbe nearly my entire life. Up until three years ago. Actually…" she brought her eyes around, "Not even Gaius knows this, but my family comes from the imperial court." she took an extra second of silence. "S-senators, to be precise."

It might make sense to add a paragraph where the brackets are showing Alice’s reaction to Flame’s question, since her dialogue right afterwards is written presuming that she’s nervous but it doesn’t really get telegraphed that well in description. Also, she has strong reason to get a bit nervous and flustered from Flame’s questioning here considering what the full story of her life in Urbe entails.

Flame: "Holy crap, you really are royalty!"
Alice: "No, no, that's not it at all, Flame! A Senator is a member of this body that helps the Emperor make laws, and-"
Flame: "Heh, I'm feeling pretty good about those odds of finding family now!"
Alice: "... Let me get back to my story, okay?" -_-;

His eyes dilated. "Woah, really? Th-that's incredible! Did you ever get to meet the emperor?"

[ ]


"Well … sometimes. At official speeches or banquets. Never talked to him, of course."

Flame contemplated mulled over the information she'd just revealed. He pictured the Dragonair scurrying about an elegant banquet, the imperial gardens visible outside the window, surrounded by dignitaries and servants. Now that he entertained that thought, he could not imagine a more appropriate setting for her.

Oh Flame, if only you knew...

Also, you might want to consider slipping some description in the bits in brackets there, since at least in her dialogue, Alice is clearly getting a handle on her account of her past she’s telling Flame. So it might make sense to show that off a bit from her mannerisms.

"I did not choose to leave Urbe. 'Tis still my home, after all. However, my family…" she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, "Ugh, it's complicated. I have no clue what to think, or what I did wrong. They detested the sight of me. It all went downhill after some time. At times, I wonder if I'll ever be able to return."

Flame: "Couldn't you have just chilled around with another Senator or some member of the court? Surely you'd have made friends with their kids or the like who could have put in a good word for you?" :?
Alice: "Flame. The closest friends that I've been able to make so far in life are you and Gaius." -_-;
- Beat moment -
Flame: "... Alright, I can see how you'd have problems there." ._.

Flame immediately detected the notes of discomfort and bitterness intertwined in her voice, and decided to not press the matter any further.

"On that matter, I did some thinking earlier. With Aesernia destroyed, we might not have a job anymore. What if we look for a better life elsewhere?” he asked. “Nothing is forcing us to stay."

"I hadn't thought of that. It's definitely a possibility," a smile touched her snout, "How about we think this through once we have gathered enough food?"

Flame: "So... about that Capri place. What's it like?"
- Cue stomachs growling and Alice smiling back -
Alice: "Nice try. You're not getting out of gathering berries that easily. I'll tell you more over dinner."
Flame: "Heh, fair enough." ^^;

Just as those words were uttered, a bush displaying pear-shaped berries (some ripe, some spoiled, others healthy-looking) presented itself inside a small ditch off the riverbank. Sunlight would soon vanish completely, and gathering food at night presented unnecessary dangers. The two of them continued to chat about any and all minutiae topics that came to mind, from the beauty of Urbe, ancient history, future ambitions and dreams, or just prodding fun at one another. Talking, at times, overshadowed the main task they were there to accomplish.

Eventually, whichever topic of discussion ceased to matter much, both simply content to be in the other's companionship company.

Flame: “Heh, it’s nice to finally just be alone together without having to worry about Virgo popping up in the peanut gallery.” ^^;
Alice: “... Maybe don’t mention his name too loudly? Since I swear he and Yvaine have an almost magnetic attraction to you at times.”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “Yeah, I wonder what on earth’s up with that now that you mention it.” ._.
Alice: “Don’t worry too much about it, just help gather Aspears with me.”
Flame: “Heh, aren’t you being duty-minded, princess?” >:P
Alice: “B-But I’m a senator’s daughter! N-Not a-!” O_O;
Flame: “It was a figure of speech!” ._.;
- Beat moment -
Alice: “Er… right, anyhow about those Aspears…”
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Flame: “(Blugh. One day, I won’t undercut the moment…)” -_-;

The sun had long set by the time distant thunderclouds covered its nighttime counterpart.

The plateau was an arid and barren place, where dun yellow bushes sat atop equally rusted soil, one of chunky complexion that glued to the legs. Some ways away it dropped off to a startling height, where darkness engulfed what lay beyond.

Flame returned to his senses when the dense odour of smoke permeated his nostrils, infused with cooked fish. He stopped muddling his attention into nothingness zoning out and turned his attention back to the group he'd been spending the night with. There were many of them, most mere officers, a few legionaries, all gathered round a large pyre bonfire to dine [very much informally]. Some engaged in near-hysterical laughter and droned on about immature sex jokes he did not understand, others quipped in every other bite, others yet[—Alice and Gaius flanked him—]made but the sound of chewing.

Alright, two bits in brackets for your consideration:

The [very much informally] part sounds a bit off and I think should either be collapsed down to [informally] or if the point is that they’re kinda being slobs, have something like [without a care for manners or propriety] in its place.

The bit about Alice and Gaius flanking out I think should just be directly worked into description elsewhere in that paragraph. You can pull that off inline by turning the surroundings into something like [ others like Alice and Gaius flanking him made [...] ], or else yeet that detail up to the part where Flame’s turning his attention back to his surroundings.

He ripped another chunk of flesh off the cooked Magikarp in his claws, gnawing eagerly at it to leech off more of its salty juice. It was unlike anything he'd ever eaten before: the scales felt crispy beneath his teeth, hiding a layer of plentiful flesh. At some point, he became so lost in the meal that he unconsciously abandoned efforts to savour it slowly. It completely disappeared within a scant few minutes.

I see that Magikarp in this setting don’t take after the early anime’s depiction. Probably for the best, since Flame would probably chip his teeth on them with scales that hard.
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Seeing no common rubbish dump that everyone agreed on, he felt authorised entitled to chuck the bones and inedible parts behind his back without so much as a care. The sheer taste of his dinner left him licking his lips to taste its last traces. He now knew that One thing was for certain, fishing would become a semi-priority whenever he and his teammates were searching for food in the future.

Overall, the outcome of their detour had been very fruitful. Their bags now contained enough Sentret and Deerling meat and berries and fruit to last them circa four days (to gather any more would have proved futile due to putrefaction). It certainly did feel alleviating not to have to worry about such basic needs for once—the privilege to focus on the bigger picture.

Flame: "... Shouldn't we be able to make this meat last longer by salting it or curing it?"
Gaius: "We left Aesernia with barely a couple hours' notice and the town was a giant disaster zone. Did you really expect us to find salt in those conditions?"
Alice: "Besides, four days should be more than enough. If we still haven't made it to Portus by then, something's probably gone very wrong."

Out of sheer curiosity, he shifted his attention to the ongoing conversation around him and attempted to pick up stray sentences.

"That's what you call 'craziest experience'? I once had a Haxorus give me head."

"With those tusks touching down there? You've gotta be kidding!"

"Nah, their females have smaller tusks. Pretty good tongues, too."

"Small tusks? You mean like Ariel?"

Five pokémon or so burst into laughter. "Woah, now, she's a special case. If it weren't for her voice, I would have thought she was a guy."

Flame found himself snickering lightly at that. It's true, though. Almost called her 'sir' when she first addressed me.

While I understand the meta reason for not investing too much effort into describing the randoms making the lewd Haxorus joke since they’ll all be dead within 4 chapters, it might make sense to roll some throwaway species or at least descriptive voice tags for some of them, especially the final speaker to make their lines seem a bit less disembodied.

Gaius: "Wait, you're laughing at a joke that Virgo would like? That's certainly new."
Flame: "It was the bit with Ariel at the end that sold it, really. Most of the earlier parts the Legionaries were laughing at kinda went over my head."
Alice: "Uhm... yeah, it's probably for the best if it stays that way." >_>;

A handful of sparks jumped out from the pyre bonfire, appearing to hit one of the nearby pokémon before fading away into invisible ash.

Disinterest took a hold of him. The fire and social atmosphere did feel welcoming, yes, but his eyelids had begun loosening of sagging on their own accord every so often. He got to his feet, turning to leave, and noticed Alice peering up from the corner of her eye. Gaius was too distracted talking to other officers.

"Tired. I'm going to bed," he mumbled to her with as few words as feasible possible.

Thus, while walking away from the group, he squeezed his mind to remember where exactly their assigned tent was. He remembered that it stood somewhere close to the plateau's edge, but…

Flame: “Boy I’m beat. I’m just gonna conk out and call it a chapter here.”

Mid-step, he froze. His eyes had caught wind of a most improbable sight. Sitting alone outside a group of ragged tents was, of all things, a Charmeleon. Female, judging by its looks from the appearance. She was sifting through her bag, fire-tipped tail swaying to and fro, her scales were markedly more pale-hued than his—a delicate orange. It took some moments for him to fully realise what this entailed the significance of his sighting. The plan he'd concocted hours earlier rushed into his mind all at once.

She's just like me … this is the chance I've been waiting for! There must be a reason she's all the way up here. What if she's my sister?

Flame: “Er… on second thought, bed can wait a bit. Though where do I start for breaking the ice here?” ^///^
Alice: “You start by ignoring her and going to bed, Flame.” >_>;
Gaius: “Yeah, no offense, but the odds of you two being family is basically slim to none. Chars aren’t that rare in this setting.”

Even the remote possibility of having that he finally found a lead roused his excitement to no end. He needed to extrapolate every useful minutia conceivable pry every last detail he could think of from that brain of hers.

Moving by sheer impetus impulse rather than conscious thought, he moved within a few meters of her. Before he could protest to himself that it such an abrupt introduction would become awkward and that he needed to word his question correctly, it was already too late to back out.

"Hey there," he said, sitting cross-legged by her side.

[ ]


"Oh, hi!" she replied, smiling back with mild surprise, with none of the expected wariness, "It's so refreshing meeting a fellow Char out here."

It probably makes sense to yeet much of the description you have for Livia’s reaction before her present dialogue, since she’d logically have some sort of reaction and then speak up, and it’s probably worth reflecting that in the text.

Flame smiled back even wider, finding the timbre in her voice sweet—not unlike Alice's. "Same. I haven't seen one in … months, at the very least. How come I've never seen you around at Camp Tempest?"

"Big place, y'know," she shrugged, completely attentive, "I was starting to think I was the only Char for hundreds of kilometres. Finally, my ears can hear something other than that horrible accent they have up here. It gets maddening after a while."

She’s technically very likely wrong on that front given that one throwaway description in Castra Aeterna. It’s just that A: Those others she’d be likely to run into would have decent odds of calling themselves ‘Glutexo’ or ‘Glurak’, B: If Livia met one of them, it would be the definition of a hostile encounter.

Also, one of these days, I still wanna get the full story of how Flame’s speech pattern happens to sound natural to an Imperial Southerner. Considering what ultimately comes out about his past in this story, there’s definitely a story behind it… assuming this detail of his character doesn’t get retconned out of existence at some point anyways.

Flame paused for a second, if only to gather his racing thoughts. To find an element of instantaneous connection Being able to strike up a conversation right away with this other Charmeleon certainly did blessed his chances of a breakthrough. But to just flatly ask the fatidical question outright her if she was a relative of his out of the blue would deprive him of crucial knowledge. One step at a time, he thought.

"Name's Flame. You?"

"Livia," a smile blossomed on her short snout.

"Livia … I like that name. Perhaps I have Who knows, maybe I’ve met you before without knowing it?” he chuckled. “Though where are you from?"

"Agia Marina, my family owns the Imperial Navy dockyards there in Agia Marina,” she explained. “We get by just fine—the only reason I'm here is to help my country."

He had the map of the Empire behind his eyelids. Rummaging through memory, he recalled such a settlement by that name far along the southern coast, just off the Lipari Arcipelago. So far, every piece fit to form a plausible scenario. Riding the flow of the conversation would surely lend more details.

For the record, my money is still on Agia Marina being Not!Neapolis in this setting until the text otherwise flatly contradicts it. Considering how it keeps popping up as a throwaway mention in this story, there’s just too many things that line up that would make the casting work better than any throwaway ARMA 3 homage ought to be able to.

From so close, he could not help but take a moment to notice her features. Her body was built just like his, only distinctly feminine: a less pronounced snout, shorter claws and tail, as well as a tantalisingly puffier upper chest.

Reminder that unless Flame has a specific reference in mind for what a feminine Char ought to look like, he probably would just get the vibe for some reason but not be sure why. Alternatively, have him mentally refer back to that biology text he copped a look at in Aesernia’s library in passing, since it presumably documented gender dimorphism for Chars when he got to that part of the book.

Though do other female reptile mons take after D&D Dragonborn in this setting, or is that just a thing for female Chars? Though I suppose if they took after straight lizard features, it’d get a lot more awkward for Flame to attempt to casually determine Livia’s gender there. Since most lizards in reality that don’t have discernible size differences by gender are only really distinguished by how thicc their tail's base is and the number of bumps they have down there.

Some part of him stirred in protest. Not necessarily that this act was morally distasteful in and of itself—but some other message he was unable to decipher. He cast that thought aside. After all, if he couldn’t make sense of his feelings, it probably wasn’t worth worrying about.

Alice: “Ahem.” >:|
Flame: “... (Right, that would explain why I’m stirring in protest.) A-Alice, I swear this is just an innocent conversation here!”
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"Wow, what are the chances? I come from that area as well. Ur—Urbe, to be exact. Arceus knows I miss that place…"

Livia turned to face him directly, her posture open and untense relaxed. "Same. Life up here's bloody depressing. Y'know, when you came up to me like that, for a moment I could have sworn it was you were my brother. You and him truly do look alike."

Now his interest peaked piqued. [A tingling of excitement washed upon him. There was a very realistic chance he was this Charmeleon's sibling—in which case, however, this whole situation (his occasional glances at her form) would abruptly become very creepy.]

For the bit in brackets, I think it might make sense to slip in more of a body language/internal thought process moment of flusteredness/embarrassment in a sentence to transition from the bit where Flame is excited that he might be Livia’s brother only to realize the implications for if his hypothesis is right.

Flame: “(Oh god, please tell me that I haven’t been sizing up my sister this entire time. At least let us be cousins or something!)”
401074476474957834.png

Alice: “(You shouldn’t be sizing her up either way, Flame!)” >_>;

"Really? I'm going to assume that's a compliment, then," he chuckled, unconsciously mimicking her posture. "And, this brother of yours … have you heard from him recently? Just for out of curiosity."

Her gaze wandered over to the starless night sky. "Yes, actually. Just a week ago, he wrote me a letter I received a letter from him just a week ago."

Flame frowned. He felt his shoulders slump. All was certainly not set in stone certainly yet: a letter would probably take weeks, perhaps months to be delivered. More than enough time for his hypothetical past self to disappear without a trace, considering he solely possessed memories of the past week. At the very least, knowing they probably did not share blood made those thoughts caressing his mind less weird.

I might be tripping, but I could’ve sworn that it’s been at least 2 weeks since Flame came down from the mountains into Aesernia at this point.

Livia's smile faded as well. "Even while though I’m enjoying the company, I'm unused not used to sharing personal details as much as this much. Why are you so interested in me?"

[He bit his tongue lightly. "Um … the main reason is that I need your help. For some time now, I've lost all contact with my family. They likely don't know where I am. Do you have any memories of hearing about a missing Charmeleon?"]

It might make sense to break up that paragraph into at least two others, since presumably he’d have some reaction to the otherwise warm and open fellow Char suddenly being visibly less so.

You might find it worth considering something along the lines of the below:

[ He bit his tongue lightly. "Um … the main reason is that I need your help.”

Flame sucked in a sharp breath. He was so sure that the stars had aligned and he’d finally found a lead to who he really was. And now here he was fretting over driving that precious lead away. He looked at Livia’s skeptical reaction, and after a moment’s pause, opted to just broach the question he’d been so hesitant to bring up this entire time.

“For some time now, I've lost all contact with my family. They likely don't know where I am,” Flame explained. “Do you have any memories of hearing about a missing Charmeleon?" ]

Her gaze softened. "Oh, I see. Let me recall think." she spun her gaze around, hanging in troubling silence for some time. "There's only a couple families of Chars back in Agia Marina, and I know them all very well. Sorry, no, but I have no information of use to you, unless it happened you got separated from one of them after I enrolled, I didn’t hear of any of them having a son go missing."

A small breath of defeat left him. Livia’s answer It had been arguably the worst fate possible one of all he could’ve gotten—not only did it give him no grasp of a concrete lead to his past exist, but it didn’t give him enough to firmly rule out any of his no previous hypotheses could be definitely scrapped, either. He clicked his tongue, before forcing those disappointed thoughts to the back of his mind.

"Don't worry about it. I appreciate it nonetheless the effort anyways,” he insisted. “Maybe I'd feel a bit more disappointed if your voice weren't so soothing."

She giggled lightly. "Is that so? Why, thank you. In that case, I suppose you won't mind chatting some more."

Flame nodded courtly. "Would you prefer taking this conversation to my tent?"

Alice: "Flame!" >:(
Flame: "Huh, wha-?" O_O;
Gaius: "Look, remember that we have to share that tent too, you know. If you want a one-night stand, go and do that somewhere else so we can sleep!"
Alice: "Gaius, don't encourage him!" >.<
Flame: "It was just going to be some heartfelt conversation, I swear!" >///<

The words had poured from his mouth spontaneously. Then, realisation struck him with the force of a slap across the face. Flustered warmth rose into that very face, and his eyes suddenly jerked between her own and a nondescript point behind her.

"Listen, Flame…" she said slowly, paws cupped together, "I appreciate how sweet you're being, and you are kind of cute,"—he flushed redder—"but I already have a mate. I promised him we'd marry once I got back to Agia Marina."

"Oh."

Whenever he attempted to conjure more words to say, his mind seemed to shut down completely. The silence between them only stretched dragged on the longer he stayed. To maintain a composed face was intolerable. It had been too early—far too early, for him to make an offer like that. He ought to have fraternised more beforehand!

Alice: "Oh. Well that's a relief."
Flame: "What do you mean that's a relief? I was looking forward to getting to know her!"
Gaius: "Yeesh, learn to read a room already, Flame." >_>;

Remaining still Just sitting where he was didn't seem like a desirable option, so he shuffled to his feet. "That's fine. D-don't worry about it. I'll … be heading to bed, now. Good luck."

She said something in goodbye farewell, but he didn't quite catch it, for he had already moved away toward his own tent.

Well, that was … sloppy, at best. I tried, he sighed internally.

With his vision blurry from fatigue, he entered his team's tent, puzzled at this the rotten feeling that had nestled firmly within his chest.

Gaius: “Yeesh, no wonder you keep giving Virgo bait to ship you and Alice. I haven’t seen someone that clueless around girls in years.” >_>;
Flame: “Look, can we just drop the topic and conk out here?” >///<
Alice: “Not likely. We’ve got a chapter teaser to comment on.”
Flame: “Wait, we do? What’s in it?”

Speaking of which. Let’s take a little peek ahead at things to come in Chapter 12, shall we?

"Although local Imperial Army units may attempt to deploy you on combat missions, you are to maintain caution and prioritise your current mission. Remember: as a Praetorian Guard operative, your life is more valuable than that of your fellow comrades. Your prime directive is to identify and apprehend target Icarus by any means necessary.

If the Ascension Programme is not brought to fruition, even the barbarians conquering us all would constitute a brighter future."


-Praetorian Guard instruction leaflet, created by Supreme General Sycorax.

Boy does this teaser read differently in light of your most recent chapter. Since if what came out there was accurate, Sycorax isn’t wrong about that last line, even if he’s withholding a ton of important context.

Flame: "Wait, 'Ascension Programme'. Didn't I say that when I was wandering out to look at that Portal Storm back in Aesernia?" ._.
Gaius: "Wait, you did what?" >:|
- Flame bites tongue -
Flame: "Er... I mean, I dreamt all of that. Totally didn't sneak out to see the Portal Storm while you were sleeping or anything!"
401074476474957834.png

Alice: "Honestly, even if it was a stupid risk for Flame to take, it's water under the bridge at this point, Gaius. Though... if 'Ascension' does mean something to you, does that mean that you're with the Praetorian Guard, Flame?"
Gaius: "Flame, a Praetorian Guard? With the amount of failures he's been getting into? Why it'd be more likely that he's that 'Icarus' that leaflet talks about."
- Beat moment as Gaius and Alice stare at Flame, who fidgets uncomfortably -
Flame: "B-But that 'Icarus' they're talking about is a military target! I couldn't even manage my fire breath properly when we first ran into each other!" O_O;
Alice: "... It does seem like a bit of a stretch. Though what is that 'Ascension Programme' if Sycorax would consider its failure to be worse for Urbe than being overrun by the Scum?"
- Gaius pauses for a moment before shaking his head -
Gaius: "Whatever, it’s not like we’ll need to worry about this anytime soon. We’ve got a long day of picking through rubble to look forward to next chapter. Let’s just get some rest."

Kudos, and til next time @Shadow of Antioch .
 
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Chapter XIV: Apex

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XIV: Apex


Boreal Chasm – B2F

"So, I just … throw it?"

"Yes. Unless you want to make out with that thing first."

"Okay, okay! I was just … making sure."

For the third time since they'd crawled out of their hiding spot, Flame sent the sphere a careful look, as though glancing at it too harshly might cause it to shatter. Embedded in the centre was a small foetus of light, radiating slowly. The time he had spent lying inside the crevice had left a faint soreness in his back, and he could definitely feel the difference in temperature now that his heat had dispersed in the wide room. He could only imagine what his teammates were feeling. He turned to them, catching their barely suppressed shivers and incessant blinking: the cold was getting to them all the same.

No, he couldn't make them wait any longer. He had to trust this sphere would work.

After a moment of psychological preparation, Flame drew his arm back, and threw the orb against the far wall. The sharp sound of shattering glass sliced the air while hundreds of tiny shards burst in every direction, bouncing to the ground and skidding as far as where his feet were. He uncovered his face slowly. The smaller orb of light now hovered in mid-air, freed from its shackles. It fluctuated for a moment—flickered, almost—only to suddenly shoot past the three of them and into a featureless hallway. Team Phalanx stood there idly for several moments, half expecting something to happen.

Moments passed in stillness. Quiet.

At once, Flame clutched his ears and squeezed his eyes shut when everything erupted in violent rumbles that travelled through the ice and rock. The sounds continued for a dozen seconds—as did the ringing—before he opened his eyes, and realised that the air around him was distorted. Tiny webs of electricity rocked the very air, bristled his scales, and reached out inside the walls.

There was an acute sense of heaviness inside him that forced him to his knees without realising it. Then, the rumble stopped.

"Arceus—what the hell was that?" Gaius said, uncovering his ears.

"N-not exactly what I was expecting…" Flame stammered as he lagged to his feet. He took a deep breath, and spent a good few seconds making sure that the cavern had not in fact collapsed on their heads.

"The dungeon certainly didn't react well," Alice said. "If what the books claim is true, then we have little time to search for the breach."

Flame turned to her. "How long?"

"It … wasn't specified," Alice swallowed visibly. "All the more reason to never find out."

Flame looked both of them in the eye, then behind them. "I guess we … follow the orb, then?"

"A-anything beats standing here," Alice said just as a shiver wracked her body, her eyes glazed straight ahead.

He rested a paw on her back, and pity blossomed on his face. "Hey. It's the final push. If you didn't give up earlier, no sense in doing so now."

Alice gave him a small smile, as if to reassure him she was quite all right, despite her body language suggesting the opposite.

"Just shut up and get moving," quipped Gaius.

Despite the choice of words, Flame agreed, and motioned his teammates down the dark path taken by the orb of light. They walked briskly through the icy corridors, and with renewed impetus, though on several occasions Flame had to consciously slow down to let the others keep up. They were suffering once again, flinching at each gust of wind, keeping their eyes ahead and muffling their laments. It amazed him how they found the willpower to walk. How could one walk with their very bones frozen over? A heaviness instilled itself upon his heart, but once again, there was little he could do right now, and even less time to do it. This thought, however truthful, did not stop his insides from aching every time he lay his eyes upon his teammates. It made him feel powerless to stand there and watch, as though their suffering meant nothing to him.

Focus, Flame ordered to himself and shut his eyes. Maybe we'll find the exit sooner rather than later. No reason to get so worked up over this.

As if his anxieties could be swept away with a single command! One had to try, though, he rationalised, even if it meant fooling one's own intellect.

The corridor of ice and snow continued for many minutes—time Flame spent primarily checking their rear more than reasonably necessary. It was more than reasonable to assume a feral would appear at any moment, pounce them from above, and drag either of his weakened friends back into the void. Yet, nothing happened. They simply walked. And walked. And prayed.

That is, up until the point where they stumbled upon a bifurcation in the path, and Flame felt his heart jump to his throat, and something inside him collapsed.

No. No. Not now. We're so close… How are we supposed to know where to go? Damn it, damn it!

But then Alice spoke, pointed out that the ripples created by the escape orb lingered in the air, and only crackled along one of the corridors. Indeed, once he saw the tiny anomalies distorting the air, he suddenly felt quite stupid for not noticing earlier. He even chuckled at the thought of his overreaction. Had the situation been more appropriate, he gladly would have acted upon the impulse to hug and spin her round.

No—he would absolutely do it once they stepped out of this hellhole.


"We have to be close, by now. We have to be," Alice's feeble whisper barely echoed in the ever-encroaching darkness.

No matter how far along they headed, it was all the same. Same corridors, same ice, same chambers of stalactites, and, above all, the temperature did not change for a single moment. The situation was devolving into a repeat of what had happened before: wandering aimlessly while the cold wore down their defences, leaving Alice and Gaius a quivering, mumbling messes, with him unable to do anything but watch. Perhaps he could seek another crevice to share heat in, but how long could they hope to continue this cycle, when even now he felt frost nip at his claws and feet? He, being of fire!

"How much time do you think has passed?" Flame said, taking in an unconscious breath. "Ten minutes? Fifteen?"

"I … h-haven't been keeping track," mumbled Alice.

"Doesn't matter. We'll be out of here in no time," Flame offered her a strained smile. Those words sounded increasingly hollow even to him. With what courage could he speak what was truly on his mind?

"Ugh, just sh-sh-shut up already," Gaius heaved, clutching his head momentarily. "My head's about to explode. D-do you even have a clue where you're taking us?"

Flame stared at the Grovyle for a second. "Well, there's no way to—" he stopped in time, then gestured around them. "Look around you. Don't, don't you see how the air is being disturbed? It only started happening after we used the escape orb. We looked down the other paths, and it wasn't as strong. That's as good of a guess as we'll get."

"So th-that's it? We're going off of guesses?"

Despite knowing it was the onset of hypothermia doing the talking, Flame couldn't help but scowl. "Yes. Unless you have a better idea, that's what we're doing."

Flame kept quiet and stared directly ahead, keeping his ears. But then a loud thump resonated from behind him, followed by Alice's echoing gasp; he whirled around, claws bared, his breath lacking all of a sudden, his heart jumping madly in his chest.

Yet, the scene before his eyes resembled nothing like a feral attack. Gaius was sprawled on the ground, crying out in pain, body half buried in the thick snow, limbs wrangled over one another.

In an instant, Alice was hovering over him. "Gaius! Are you okay? Come on, get up." she positioned her head under his arm and lifted it. "Did you break something?"

No answer came while Flame hurried over to assist her, grabbing his other arm, until they both pulled him into a semi-standing position. The only reason the Grovyle didn't simply crumble to the ground was Flame keeping an arm slung round his own shoulders after Alice withdrew.

"Gaius, what's wrong? Talk to me."

"Damn it," whispered Gaius through glazed eyes. "I can't. I can't do this. I'm done."

Flame made a perplexed expression as he rested his leader against the icy wall. "What do you mean?"

Oh, but anyone with eyes could see quite clearly what he had meant. In every conceivable way, Gaius looked like death. There were chunks of frost accumulated around his snout, his eyelids, coating every leaf on his body, his pelvis and legs and feet (or was that the snow he sat in?). And even where there was no frost, his scales had turned into a sickly yellowish colour. How could he have failed to notice? In such short time, too! Perhaps twenty or fifteen minutes had passed since they'd healed in his warmth—was the cold really so potent? It was beginning to seep into his bones; yes, yes it was.

Flame knelt down, perhaps not quite believing what he was seeing, and took his leader's paw with both of his. Gaius drew back uncomfortably, made a hissing noise, as though his body refused to be reminded of what was oh so sorely missing. The Grovyle's digits felt icy and stiff to the touch. He was no longer shaking at all, save for the frantic twitching of his claws. His body had already resigned itself to its fate. Flame's eyes rose, and the Grovyle stared back—no, not at him, but rather through him, at some indefinite point in space.

Gaius' face tensed so much he looked about to cry. "It's just … I didn't want it to end this way. Guess that doesn't matter anymore."

Flame had to remind himself to breathe normally. "Cut the drama, Gaius. You can't give up now. Not when we're so close to finding the exit."

In the corner of his vision, he noticed Alice become tense all of a sudden, no longer paying attention to the two of them.

"Guys?" she said, but found no response in either of them.

"Easy for you to say," wheezed Gaius, before coughing heartily. "Just look at me: I'm freezing alive. Everything hurts. My paws are…" he spaced out for a second, eyes lost into nothingness. "I know you tried to help. Just get out of here. Please."

A sense of helplessness took hold of Flame. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering, but failed even at that. Gaius was dying. No amount of optimism could deny that. Even in the midst of more pressing thoughts, it did not escape him how strange it was to hear any sort of care for his fate. The amount of times his leader had mistreated and outright loathed him did not seem to matter to the empty hole carved into his stomach.

Alice's voice leaked into his ears. "Guys, hold on a moment."

Looking over to the side, he saw Alice in much the same condition: her head wings all covered in brine, her breaths growing ragged, the suffering carved in her face chipping at his heart little by little. The cold was affecting them even more so than before. At least she, of the two, could find the energy to stand. Why was she trying to get their attention? It mattered not; time was not on their side. Perhaps he could drag one of them to safety if it came down to it, but his muscles felt so weak, his mind so clouded…

"Gaius…" he looked his leader in the eye. "Look at me."

With great difficulty, the Grovyle complied.

Flame froze for a moment, unsure how to proceed. He simply acted on what came as natural: he brought his paw to the Grovyle's face, used a claw to sweep away the brine from his eyelids, then from his snout, before settling on his forehead to transfer whatever heat possible.

"I, I know it's hard. And … I can only imagine how much it hurts. But you have to try. We're so close. Once we're outside, I'll build a fire for you to roll in, okay? Do it for Alice—if you couldn't care less about me, at least do it—"

"Guys!" Alice hissed.

Even in the midst of such a delicate procedure, Flame could sense the urgency in her tone, and immediately shot to attention. She was gazing at the darkness beyond his tail's light. Her scales were bathed in crackling orange.

"We are not alone."

Just like that, Flame found himself unable to breathe. His tail flame wavered for a brief second. How could they have been so stupid as to stop? Now his mind was racing in every direction, and every tiny noise he'd dismissed as mere ambiance now made his heart leap.

His eyes flew to Alice again. It had to have been the cold playing tricks on her. Or a scurrying Rattata; perhaps one simply—

Something made a noise. There it came again: a tiny tip-tapping against the stone. No, not one: multiple. Footsteps. He was only partly aware of his legs backing until his back pressed against the icy wall. All around them, monstrous shapes took form in the shadows. (Stupid, utterly stupid.)

He bent his knees out of instinct, bared his claws, readied fire in his belly, and tried everything he could to slow his breathing. Something was watching them. That much was certain. He could not determine from where, since the echo made it sound as though it came from every direction at once. Only that it sounded dangerously close. Which meant that they were essentially naked, blind to whatever was on its way and in the predator's full view. It also meant they could not run away. Not with their bodies as feeble as they were.

The footsteps ceased. Dripping came from somewhere distant, then the shrill of some Zubat, but no footsteps. Was he simply not hearing them? Or perhaps the predators were taking their time now that they saw Team Phalanx knew of their presence. Regardless, he took the extra moment's gift to glance at his teammates: Gaius was still slumped against the wall and treading close to unconsciousness, which left only him and Alice capable of combat. The corridor's cylindrical shape meant that there wouldn't be much space to maneuver, but also that the ferals could only come from two directions.

A plan formed in his head.

"Alice," he whispered through gritted teeth. "On my mark. Flamethrower attack, in front of you. I'll cover the … the other…"

He stared at the darkness, and the darkness stared back at him. Except that through the darkness, a pair of eyes gleamed ever so dimly with his tail's orange light.

It was then that Flame panicked.

"Contact!"

He had barely the time to spew a small tongue of fire from his maw, before he heard Alice let out a scream of fright and something slammed into his side, hurling his body a good few metres away, leaving him sprawled out on the floor. Before he could recover from his dazed state, a blurry, oily shape climbed onto his chest—the functioning portion of his mind identified the assailant as a Sneasel. His arms shot up instinctively and attempted to wrestle the Sneasel off him, only for him to scream his lungs out when hot, searing pain erupted from his upper arm.

Everything became muddy and unclear. He could feel the Sneasel's claws unhook from his flesh, the warmth of blood trickling down his scales, the heat of the wound throbbing as it came into contact with the frigid air. Flame let his arms drop to the ground, thoughts hazy and choking on each breath. Any attempt to squirm or struggle or kick with his legs were countered by the feral still straddling his waist. He knew his chest was exposed, yet there was nothing he could do about it. It simply hurt too much to move. The fire brewing in his throat dissolved. Panic had gripped his body into complete paralysis.

Oh! Just as the Sneasel prepared to strike again—he could barely focus, blurry as his eyes were—a great flash permeated the cave, and all of a sudden a massive stream of blue flames engulfed both him and the feral. Flame was not sure how he managed to hold back a scream, seeing as his exposed flesh was definitely not as fireproof as his scales. The ice-type shrilled in agony and crumbled on its back, fur singed and emanating wisps of smoke. It continued to twitch pathetically on the floor, eyes wide and streaming tears.

Flame remained on the floor, panting, trying to ease his mind off the sharp pain shooting from his arm at every tiny movement. The layer of snow he was buried in leaked cold into his bones. His head was spinning wildly, and he could hardly focus his vision anymore.

Sounds reached his ears. Cries of struggle, the crackling of fire. There was an orange glow. Fire, most likely from the Dragonair.

Of course—the battle! Scraps of energy found their way into his bloodstream. No, he would not just lay here and die. Not so long as his teammates needed him to be strong.

With great difficulty, he pushed himself up using his good arm, though not without hisses of displeasure. His legs were shaky, and for a moment he had to fight back the urge to vomit. Once the danger of tumbling to the ground had passed, he quickly turned to where the sounds were coming from and narrowed his eyes.

There they were, at the very edge of his tail's radius; one could easily have missed those shapes moving in near-darkness. Gaius remained slumped against the wall, locked in a struggle against one of the ferals. Where was Alice? He moved his gaze off to the side, and found her out in the open, facing off two Sneasel, breathing tongue after tongue of fire to keep them at bay—but now one of them appeared from her flank; she whirled round and lashed out with her tail. While effective at hitting its intended target, the attack also left ample space for the other Sneasel to jump at her and sink its icy fangs into her scales. Alice cried out, and began to thrash furiously.

"Flame! Make light! Make light!"

Perhaps it was the timbre of her voice pulling at his heartstrings, but he suddenly found just enough strength to spit out a steady column of flames. It inundated the cavern with vibrant light, so bright as to cover his field of view entirely. Exertion mounted the longer he kept the stream going. It was too weak to possibly reach either of the attackers. Yet he kept it going regardless. After hardly ten seconds, he cut the onslaught short, panting heavily and feeling as though he'd just carried a Golem on his shoulders.

Through the tears welling in his eyes out of sheer exhaustion, he slowly stepped forward, eyes scanning left and right for movement. It didn't take very long for him to find Alice's shape in the dark. Slowly, he stepped forward, claws drawn, letting his tail fire advance with him and illuminate the fight.

Flame watched as Alice managed to shake one of the Sneasel off her back, then immediately proceeded to pin it in place with her tail and showered it with fire until it stopped screaming. There was hardly time to cheer before the other struck with its claws, drew more blood, left no time at all to recover.

"Alice!"

The sight was too much to tolerate; he dashed forward with his claws bared.

However, he had barely covered half the distance to the struggling Dragonair when a primal shrill came from behind him, and he was suddenly aware of something heavy colliding with his back and wrapping its arms round his neck. With the additional weight, he immediately lost balance and tumbled to the ground face-first.

Pain, breathtaking pain shot through his body when he used his wounded arm to soften the fall. Despite that, panic seized control of his movements, and he spun his head round just in time for a pair of claws to connect with his cheek, missing his eye by a hair's breadth. His brain went into all-out panic: he swatted his tail against the back of the Sneasel's head, then rotated his body as to throw it off.

Flame wasted no time at all in scooting above the dazed feral—essentially reversing positions—and let off a very quick burst of fire at its face, followed by two swipes of his claws at the chest and lip. Fuelled solely by adrenaline, he summoned heat in his stomach, allowing it to grow until it tickled the back of his throat. (This was the Sneasel who'd first attacked him, he saw; whole patches of fur were singed or missing.)

What he didn't see, however, were the ice-type's legs curling up and unleashing a sudden kick to his ribs, knocking the wind out of him, leaving him gasping for air. Stunned as he was, nothing could have prepared him for what came next: a pair of claws ripped right into his chest, tore a downward path across his chest and triggered a cascade of thick, searing blood. He screamed, and every sense of his seemed to fall away from reality: every sight through a mist, every sound a vague garble. His body erupted in heat greater than what even a fire type could manage.

A red glow filled the room and went away. He was distantly aware of falling, the Sneasel below him pushing him off like some dead weight, both now laying on their side. And the Sneasel turned over, with such a look that made it obvious it wouldn't mind hurting him at all, wanted to slice him in half!

Somehow, through sheer adrenaline, Flame found the strength to lunge forward at the feral's face, clawing at whichever part was within reach, scratching its bleeding lip, nose, eyelids. The Sneasel retaliated likewise, seizing Flame's snout as though trying to crush it into a ball.

Growling through gritted teeth, Flame saw an opportunity. Panic blocked all inhibition. He drew his arm back, took aim, and lunged for the feral's eye sockets.

He pierced his claws into the twin organs, sunk them up to mid-length, and pulled out, all in one motion. All the action emitted was a short splat; the Sneasel, a great shriek.

The sheer intensity of the sounds stabbed into Flame's ears, made him jump backwards in fright. He did not realise a living being could produce screams so loud.

It tried to cover what once were its eyes, hold whatever pieces still floating inside. Blood poured between its claws, mixed with a clear, gelatinous fluid.

Flame gazed down at his claws, the ones which blinded the tortured figure before him—they too were coated in the same fluid. Vitreous humor. He'd read it somewhere. There was a violent convulsion of nausea inside him, and he had to fight back the impulse to vomit his guts out.

As he stared down at himself, it took but seconds for his brain to register two wide, parallel tears in his scales from which blood would not stop oozing. Only then, after the sleepy shock had faded, did it truly sink in.

This was blood. His blood.

Flame's pulse nearly soared as he clutched the wound with his claws, succeeding only in making a bigger mess as the liquid soaked his paws up to the wrist.

With no immediate threat to his life, the adrenaline that had kept a pretense of liveliness in him failed. Suddenly he felt heavy, unbearably heavy. The true pain of being sliced open flared all at once, pulsed within his body in horrid waves, and locked his muscles into spasms. There was not an inch of his body that did not make him want to scream. He was in hot lava, melting away.

Shock firmly gripped his body as he fell to the ground, unable to turn a muscle. The Sneasel was still screeching its lungs out, interrupted only by short, sobbing gasps. A reminder of his own, breathy agony.

Voices filtered into his head—yet they felt so distant, so disembodied, and the sounds were getting farther and farther away…


When Flame regained consciousness, the first thing he realised was that he felt cold. And hungry. And nauseous. Where was he?

His eyes stirred open, and he was greeted by a smooth surface made completely of ice, barely visible due to the low lighting of the cavern's interior.

A mystery dungeon. He was inside a mystery dungeon.

Although still in a drunken stupour, everything came back to him. The escape orb. The Sneasel. Fighting for his life. The last thing he remembered was goring one of the ferals. After that, nothing.

Flame sat up with some difficulty, letting out a prolonged groan when his head began swirling violently, rocked back and forth by the tempest of sensations hitting him all at once. His body felt everything but normal. Regardless of that, he needed to know what had happened to his teammates.

"Gaius? Alice?" he said hoarsely.

He tried to move, to climb on his knees, but was rewarded with an explosion of heat in his chest that made him cry out in agony. Clutching his stomach, he arched his head downwards in pain. A small pool of blood had gathered underneath him, wetting his legs and paws. Trying his best to control his breathing, and the rising panic within him, he watched as fresh drops of blood trickled from the exposed flesh, with more running down his wounded arm with each second.

Oh, Arceus… he thought while ignoring the bile rising in his throat. I'm bleeding out. This is bad. This is really bad…

He had no idea how long he'd been laying there. It couldn't have been too long, considering the amount of blood he'd lost wasn't quite enough to knock him unconscious. A few minutes, perhaps five at most. But he wouldn't last even that unless he found a way to stop the bleeding immediately. Already every muscle in his body felt heavy and weak, his tail but a tiny candlelight, barely managing to fend off the darkness.

"Guys? Are you there?"

Nothing. No sound whatsoever, other than the echo of his voice. Something dropped in his chest, made him numb to his core. He shot a flame over the room to see.

There! Light flooded and disappeared in the span of moments, but he'd seen something, a figure slumped against the wall.

After reigning in a bout of shaking, he shifted his weight on his good arm and pushed forward with his legs, hissing at the monumental effort required for such a simple action. He stopped to recollect his breath, then pushed himself forward once more. And again. And again. The blood leaking from his chest wound was leaving a long, messy trail as he dragged on.

Past the lifeless body of a Sneasel clutching its empty eye sockets, past the mixture of fluids that made his stomach clamp, he kept pushing—a sudden shift of his bad arm, and his vision exploded in red, and he cried out, each breath shallower than the next.

Flame shifted his head minutely to avoid angering his wounds further, blinked to clear his vision of blurriness. The figure slumped against the wall was Gaius. He was unmoving. Was he dead? As much as he wanted to answer that question, his mind was growing too hazy to think.

At the Grovyle's feet were large rags of cloth, a sight he considered unusual until he saw the various objects strewn all around the Grovyle, ranging from lacerated maps, coins, a pouch of berries, the communications badge from Portus, and a few other items he couldn't make out in the dim light. None of that mattered, though—his eyes were focused on the rags.

Slowly, he raised his trembling paw towards the longest piece within his grasp, wrapping his claws round it with more force than intended and bringing it to his chest. He lay his eyes on the gash running down his upper arm. For a moment, he hesitated. His claws were stiff and shaky. This would not be easy to pull off.

Breathing raggedly, he put the middle of the rag directly over his wound, then brought one end under his arm and to the other side. As soon as it started to tighten around the wound, his whole arm flared up, causing him to bite hard on his lip to hold back the whimper in his throat. It took several seconds for the pain to ease and for his eyes to stop watering. He repeated the process again to cover the length of the gash, and pulled even tighter.

This time, he could not hold himself back from crying out, but he'd done his job: the impromptu bandage remained in place. It pressed tightly enough for him to shift his attention to his other, bigger wound. He stared at it for a few seconds. Something blocked his throat. There was no way he could bandage this problem away—not with the few rags at his disposal. As he breathed through gritted teeth, his chest continued to lose blood at a steady rate.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" he growled through gritted teeth, letting himself fall to the floor. There had to be something else. Something—anything!

He clawed away any useless items and almost did the same to the berry pouch, before realising what was in his claws. When he found his claws were shaking too much to pull away the string, he ripped the pouch open and let the seven or so berries roll out onto the floor. His eyes widened: four oran berries, blue and succulent, promising relief from all the pain.

He wasted no time in scooping up the berries in his paw and cramming them into his maw. As soon as he swallowed, sweet, sweet relief washed over his body in waves, numbing the pain in his abdomen. A tingly feeling spread across his limbs and returned a sliver of energy to previously lifeless parts of his body. He could feel the mist obfuscating his thoughts clear ever so slightly, and a satisfied moan escaped his throat. The fire on his tail flared with newfound life.

While relatively weak in single doses, as Alice once told him, oran berries had narcotic qualities that made them a high potential for addiction—and he was starting to see why. He knew that, in truth, his body was still just as fucked up as before, that the berry's painkilling effect did little more than mask everything under an endorphin rush. It did nothing to stop the blood oozing from his abdomen. It did nothing to change how unbelievably cold he felt.

Right now, though, that was good enough for him.

With the looming threat of death pushed out of his mind, he climbed on his knees, clutched his open wound as tightly as he could, and scurried over to his leader's side.

"G-Gaius?" he reached over to touch the Grovyle's face.

Flame stopped dead in his tracks when he let his eyes wander over the full extend of his leader's injuries. Claw marks, trickling with blood, ran across his cheek and side. He looked even paler than before, if such a thing was even possible. The tips of his claws and toes were almost indistinguishable from the ice. Condensation still exited his mouth, which meant he was still breathing. He was still alive.

Whether that mattered at all was another issue entirely.

"Gaius," he shook the Grovyle's shoulders. "You have to wake up. Please."

No reaction. Not a shift in his demeanour, not a contraction in his face. Nothing. He was knocked out cold. Perhaps a better state to be in, considering the circumstances—but not what they needed to escape. Not now. There was simply no more time left.

"Gaius!" he hit the back of his paw against the Grovyle's cheek, and, seeing no result, allowed anger and resentment to boil up within him, just like the flames licking the back of his throat.

He was moments away from dousing his leader with fire. But … what was the point? Even if this somehow awoke Gaius, there was no chance of him being able to walk to safety. Not like this. Not with frostbite, not with third-degree burns. His rage simmered, and his fire retreated, and he was left a frowning, defeated Charmeleon.

"You smug, fucking bastard…" he clenched his fists and shut his eyes.

Already his heartbeat fluttered to dangerous levels, his claws trembled of their own accord. He hated feeling powerless. It made him feel useless. He would not just lay down and cry while his teammates drew their last breaths.

He raised his head, and looked behind him. His breathing was almost impossible to control. Where is Alice?

Scanning his surroundings, he saw the dim outline of a pokémon near the edge of his light. In a few seconds, he scooted in its direction. Near the Dragonair lay a Sneasel, burnt beyond recognition, her bag torn open and its contents spilled over the cavern floor. Alice herself was facing away from him, coiled tightly and whimpering beneath her breath.

"Alice!"

He closed the gap between them, taking a moment to digest the claw marks and brine that marred her scales, as well as the red scarf round her neck. Just like with Gaius, it looked as though the ferals had wrestled ferociously to rip the bag off her. It seemed a ludicrous thing to consider, yet there was no other explanation.

"Alice, can your hear me?" he said in a louder tone, an edge of panic creeping into his voice. He took hold of her cheek, and turned her to face him. Her eyes were open, if barely so. There—she was stirring!

"Flame?" she slurred, eyes glazed over. "Wh-wha…"

"Thank Arceus," he said breathlessly, a weight lifting off his chest. "For a moment, I thought … What's wrong? Can you walk?"

"I…" she squeezed her eyes shut, a whimper escaping her throat. "I don't … know…"

Flame frowned deeply as his heart flooded with guilt. To see her this weak was simply intolerable. It tugged at his heartstrings in a way that made him want to share her pain, if only to ease the burden. Perhaps because it was her, or perhaps because Gaius could not properly express how much pain he was in.

"I want … to sleep," her voice was shaky and hoarse. "Please, just let me sleep…"

"Alice, please," he spoke softly. "Don't say that. We can still get out of here."

Flame did what felt most natural: he brought his arms round her neck and pulled her into a tight embrace, her forehead pressed into his chest. A warm, fuzzy sensation invaded his body as Alice melted in his embrace, hooking her tail round his in a vice grip. Deep inside he wished to remain like that for minutes, hours, whatever it took to bring her warmth—but fate was not so kind to his wishes.

They remained locked in embrace for a little longer, then she parted from his chest, her eyes blinking to regain focus. At times they stared into his, and at other times,they seemed to stare into nothingness, all while never changing position.

He brushed a trembling claw against her cheek. "I need us to make it out of here alive, Alice. How are you feeling?"

"C-c-cold…" Alice struggled to spit out. "Everything hurts. And, and I just feel so tired that…"

Flame could empathise with that. His paws and feet were made of ice heavy and numb. It was a wonder how his claws were even responding to his commands at all. To think what she must have been feeling, born without the blessing of fire, susceptible to cold no less…

He put both his paws on her cheeks; only now did he notice the stains his blood-soaked paws left.

"Hey, stay with me. Okay? I'm not leaving you behind. Not when we're so close."

Although she nodded, Flame was of the impression she hadn't fully heard him. Her eyes roamed the surrounding darkness.

"Wh-where's Gaius?"

Flame hesitated for a moment. "He's in no condition to walk right now. I can't carry both of you, Alice. Can you walk? It's just a short ways away, I promise."

The words exited his mouth before he truly realised what they meant. Was he truly going to carry Gaius out of here? Might as well, he thought; if they weren't going to make it, they might as well die together.

For a moment she absorbed his words, visibly fighting shivers, breathing at such a pace that made it seem she was going to suffocate. Her gaze was held down at the floor.

"I don't … I just don't know," she buried her snout in his warm chest, and he responded by caressing the back of her head—until she pulled back, eyes wide in alarm at the fresh blood smearing her nose.

Her eyes shifted lower and lower, and she made a choking sound. "Flame, your chest…"

He pressed an arm over the wound, refusing to look down at himself. "I know. Th-that's not important right now."

"Yes it is," she hissed with the first hint of energy creeping into her voice. "How could you say that? If you don't do something soon, you—you'll…"

Flame frowned. Already his arm was bathed in the thick fluid. He did not like being reminded of how close to death he was dancing.

"I know," he repeated, weaker this time.

That only caused her to continue gawking at his wound. Flame averted his gaze to look at the objects strewn across the floor near them, hoping to replicate the luck that he'd had. There was that medallion Alice seemed to care for, scattered rags, and an apple that had gathered too much frost to still be edible. There were no narcotic berries to ease her pain.

He turned back to her—but she had stopped staring, unhooked her tail from his, and backed away as she breathed heavily and muttered curses under her breath. She then brought her tail up to wipe the blood off her nose, adjusting her battered scarf.

"W-we're wasting time. Make it quick. Please."

Flame blinked in surprise, mainly from Alice's quick recovery from defeatism: he could see a sparkle of resolve in her pupils. Weak, flickering, but undoubtedly present. It was all they needed right now.

"I will," he smiled warmly.

Not wanting her sudden resolve to fade, he placed his paws on the layer of snow below him, poised his legs—noting that he could not feel anything below his knee—and propelled himself onto his feet.

It was by no means a graceful transition. Flame stumbled forward, nausea and dizziness hitting him simultaneously, both his legs shifting and trembling at the unwelcome load they were being forced to endure. It was only through a combination of willpower and narcotics that he managed to stay upright.

After a short distance, Flame dropped back to his knees, grasping Gaius' arm. He pulled it so that it hooked round his neck and onto his other shoulder. Then, he attempted to rise to his feet, but the Grovyle's weight was simply too much for his body to tolerate—his muscles feeling heavy, impossibly heavy, as though they were burning up with each instant he subjected himself to such crushing pressure.

With a heaving groan, he fell back to his knees and let Gaius flop back against the wall. It took him several seconds to catch his breath. It couldn't be done. He was simply too weak, and Gaius was simply too heavy.

His paws curled into trembling fists. Briefly, he wondered just why he was volunteering to carry him in the first place.

Of course, it was undeniable that he'd grown somewhat attached to the Grovyle over the past week—but why, exactly? No amount of pity could erase the horrible treatment he'd silently endured at his expense. And it wasn't just having nearly been decapitated on two separate occasions—those he could nearly forgive. No, it was the constant glares he'd get for every mistake, the mockful comments that dug deep into his heart, the implicit fear of even speaking to his leader. All at once, he remembered the desperate rush out of Portus; he remembered the paralysis; he remembered Gaius screaming at Alice to leave him behind. What twist of fate it took, for the roles to be reversed!

He's already shown he wouldn't do the same for me, Flame growled through gritted teeth. To hell with him.

Every sensible neuron left thawed screamed at him to carry Alice instead, help ensure her and his own survival, feeble as they were. Dead weight would simply reduce their chances.

But Alice looked at him expectantly, and, right then, he knew that despite all those thoughts, he would never be able to forgive himself for leaving Gaius behind. The only thing worse than dying was knowing that he'd let others die.

"Flame, please," Alice whispered. "We have to go."

She attempted to lift the Grovyle's arm with her neck, but to no use. Her body was simply ill-suited to carry other pokémons' weight.

"R-right," Flame snapped to attention, climbing up on his feet. And to think he'd been the one cooing her not to give up not thirty seconds before.

Staring down at the limp body, Flame's mind blanked. Acting on instinct, he bent down, took hold of his ankles and pulled, dragging Gaius towards him.

Good thing we're all starved for food… he grunted as he repositioned himself to face the darkness ahead. The last thing he wanted was turning his back to whatever lay ahead. Thankfully, being in a corridor, there was little doubt as to which way was out.

They began to march forward, dragging Gaius along with them. While tiring, the weight was not impossible to handle; he was able to march at a very steady pace into the cavern. Alice remained glued to his side the entire time, finding every excuse to touch his scales and steal whatever heat possible. She kept muttering something underneath her breath that he could not make out.

It seemed pointless to ask if she was okay.

He walked forward for minutes on end, his body heaving with heavy and exhausted breaths, trying his best to ignore the blood dripping down to his legs. The cold invaded his mind, superimposed itself over every thought, enveloped the entire world—how was Alice coping with this?

He chuckled to himself, vaguely amused at the thought of him, being of fire, complaining about frigid temperatures. Nature probably hadn't planned for such a scenario. In fact, it was possible his body simply did not know how to react.

Perhaps that was why, step after step, he began to feel his legs wobble slightly, wholly rigid, as though incapable of sustaining his own weight. Simultaneously, his tail fire grew weaker, and it was harder to see where they were headed; yet he could see that the walls and ceiling were angling away, becoming larger with every step.

Behind him, it felt as if Gaius had become much heavier than before. He tried his hardest to concentrate on something to keep his legs going; at first there was only confusion, hunger, rain, cold, but soon his mind settled on one particular image: the three of them sitting outside of Camp Tempest, eating away at their meals, an idiotic grin stamped on their faces even as the first drops of rainfall came. Yes—that was the kind of normalcy he wished for Team Phalanx, no matter how much he happened to loathe one of its members.

His thoughts were still of Team Phalanx when the corridor transitioned to a room, light—actual, natural sunlight!—streaming in from a breach in the ice wall. Flame felt his heart lurch, whether it was from the physical effort and injuries or from knowing that they were nearly there. There was a sky, he could see—and heard wind, fierce, roaring wind that swept the world outside.

His thoughts were of Team Phalanx, only of Team Phalanx, even as he struggled to drag Gaius up a tall slope covered with snow, were still of Team Phalanx as he and Alice emerged from the cave and took their first steps in—

Flame could not breathe.

This was not his own doing, however: it was the flurry of frigid wind that hit his body full-on. A scream caught in his throat, but could not let it out, could not process the innumerable spears being jammed through his muscles, eating his flesh from within. In mere moments his legs failed from under him, and he fell into the thick snow.

The wind swept over his bare scales like an ocean tide, howling so loudly he nearly missed Alice letting out an anguished scream next to him. He tried to move in her direction, but then he felt snow spill into his open chest wound. Feeling the cold seep into his very core, his body began convulsing, and his heart raced, reverberating so strongly in his chest that it seemed poised to fail soon.

Squinting, he rose on his elbows, and his eyes wandered upwards. Though blurred by the snowstorm, the sky was a deep, deep purple, with great clouds swirling against the great expanse. Visions of the Portus sky flashed in his mind's eye, and briefly, his heartbeat caught in his throat: he asked himself whether it was even possible for a portal storm to appear within a mystery dungeon, or whether that storm was the same one currently raging over Portus.

Still shaking beyond all hope, he craned his head to make sense of his surroundings. Gaius was still laying where he'd dropped him, while Alice lay in the snow to his side, sobs wracking her form, tears rolling down her cheeks as she flailed her tail around in desperation.

"A-Alice…" he choked on a sob, both from seeing her in such a state and for the agony he was feeling. It didn't matter much which one. They needed him to be strong.

It took a monumental effort to simply stand up, to fight the impulse to just lay there and submit to the cold. It would have been easier to surrender. It would have been so much easier. No need to struggle, no need to fight against the current.

He looked around them, and saw nothing but a great white expanse, stretching on in every direction, an endless snowy plain, utterly devoid of life. No—it wasn't empty. Far, far away, great structures rose over the snow. Enormous spires, rising above the horizon, clustered together. Was that the exit? But it was so far, far away…

It took some time for him to notice—it was nearly indiscernible, after all, especially with the storm raging—but the very air ahead of him appeared as distorted, rippling as though made of transparent liquid. This was it. The reason they bothered to put up a fight, to fight against inevitability, it was here. All but a few metres away.

The wind was still pounding his head in all its force when he fell to his knees beside Alice, put his paws to her middle and shook vigorously.

"ALICE!" he screamed over the crushing winds. "We have to GO!"

Yet she said nothing, failed to even notice him as she shivered madly and cried in agony that he could only imagine was much worse than his.

There's no time, he realised. We're all about to die here.

Grimacing, he hooked one arm round her neck, then leaned to the side to grasp at one of Gaius' paws with his own. Every nerve ending in his body screamed in varying degrees of intensity, yet he somehow managed to keep his hold on Gaius as he took his first step forward, the snow dissolving all sensation in his feet.

He trudged on, every step a monumental effort, a catalyst for a new wave of white hot agony in every limb. Tears streamed from his eyes freely; his legs finally gave away, but then the world shimmered away, and Flame saw black, only black.


End of Chapter XIV
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, so one of my priorities for Review Blitz is to try and catch up on the various review series I bump on this site. One of which would be to finally consistently stay one chapter behind "current" for your version of Rebirth here. Now, that might be a bit of a tall order given that my reviews tend to be... thorough, but I'd like to give it an old-fashioned college try. And with you due to drop an update this weekend, it's as good as time as any to give this series a bump.

Alright, onto the good stuff:

Chapter XII

The air seemed to kiss one's skin.

And it was there, in the morning breeze, that Team Phalanx waited, awake ever since the sun's rebirth.

Cue the credits roll. :V

They all knew today would entail an expedition into Portus proper, but few knew exactly when or how it would begin. [It had taken the field commander upwards of two hours to settle on a plan of action with his subordinates, then even more precious time to divide the sizeable expeditionary force into manageable groups.]

I feel that it might make sense to expand the bit in brackets in bit to give a glossed version of what this plan entails. Since it’d give the reader a better idea of how solid (or not) this plan of action is. And there’s arguments to be made in both directions for TFA having a solid plan for emergency response in Portus, as well one for them having a plan that is kinda wobbly considering the recent implications that have come out regarding the sort of -ahem- guidance Urbe receives from its Benefactors in your most recent chapters.

Gaius: "Is there a reason why we're not sending in teams of fliers to scout the path and city ahead of the rest of us? Good gods, who the hell runs this Task Force?"
Flame: "... Ariel? Who isn't here with us right now?"
Gaius: "That was a rhetorical question, Flame." >_>
Alice: “... I would assume that that’s the reason why we’ve been sitting around for two hours? Though you’d think that they’d have more to say about it in the text.” .-.

Meanwhile, the three of them could do nothing further more than loiter about. With their stomachs satisfied, and the sun shining high above, they waited and waited inside their tent to avoid the attendant chaos that resulted from having came from being in an encampment of hundreds. Voices travelling with the wind seemed to suggest that the field commander and his counterpart from the Imperial Army were on the verge of thrashing throwing objects at one another. In fact Flame wasn’t inclined to disbelieve them, as it was not so difficult to make out garbled shouts in the distance.

Ah yes, the exact same dynamic that caused the Battle of Arausio to be as big of a disaster as it was. Dunno if that was deliberate or not, but suddenly it’s a lot less surprising that these guys got run over by a barbarian army in spite of having initially strong defensive advantages.

Flame found that he did not quite mind resting, nor [the feeling of privacy that was beginning to develop within his team]. Most surprisingly, Gaius appeared to have shed the veiled animosity so common of the Grovyle so commonly had—[even granting him occasional glances and non-derisory chatter].

Alright, two bits here that I feel ought to be revisited, but couldn’t get a solid read on your intentions.

For the first set of brackets, I think that it might make sense to reframe it more along the lines of a “moment” of privacy. For instance, something like: [the moment of privacy that had fallen into his team’s laps ]

For the second set of brackets, I think it might make sense to expand it along the lines of something like: [even granting him occasional favorable glances and engaging in snatches of non-derisory chatter], but not sure if that was your intent.

Then, finally, an overbearing voice called on the camp to assemble. Team Phalanx rushed out of their tents to join the other pokémon gathered near the centre, where their superiors' tents stood. Soon a line formed, centred on something they couldn't quite see. Immediately they noticed that it comprised solely of Civil Protection members, while legionaries sat and absorbed the incoherent shouts of their own captain some ways off to the side, unperturbed.

Team Phalanx automatically slid into the line, even though they did not know what it was for. At least it seemed to flow smoothly. Once enough pokémon had moved to allow a view, they saw a discoloured wooden box, its lid absent, containing a small pile of rounded, almost coin-like objects. Officers only seemed to maintain an orderly line under the duresse of the piercing glare of their field commander's stare.

"One per team!" the Flygon barked, "Grab more, and I'll hack your arms off personally!"

Eventually, Flame was the one to lean into the box and snatch one of the objects into his claws. He took great care to preserve all of his limbs, and wandered off to a more tranquil section of the camp alongside his teammates.

Wait a minute, is this one of those Legionary Flygon from the market, or is s/he a proper TFA member?

Gaius: “Yeesh, what a pill.” >_>;
Flame: “Th-That Flygon wouldn’t have seriously cut my arm off if I took more than one of those badges on accident, would he?” ._.
Alice: “I’m pretty sure that that’s not a standard army punishment, so maybe it was just bluster-”
- In the background, a disturbance and a piercing scream can be heard -
Random!TFA Member: “Augh! My arm!
- Shouts and commotion ring out in the background as Team Phalanx stiffens up and blanches -
Flame: “... Yeah, I’m not turning around to see what happened.” ._.
Alice: “I say we chalk that up as one of the other task force members brushing up against a Cacturne or something and move along.”
401076862924750848.png


"What on earth is this thing?" [he asked aloud, twisting the rust-coloured badge upon which a heraldic eagle was carved, alongside the letters laid in a semicircular fashion].

Alice brought her head closer, and her eyes suddenly widened. "[Flame, this—this is a communications badge! They are imbued with a psychic link to a receiving pokémon; I believe it simulates telepathy. One can communicate freely with the receiver and receive instantaneous updates if necessary.]"

Alright, two bits in brackets this time, but the fundamental issue is the same in both. Namely that you probably want to expand each segment and divide it up a bit.

For the first segment, you probably want to add just a little bit extra to turn things into two or more sentences. Something kinda like…:

[ [...] he asked aloud. Flame twisted the rust-color badge in his claws, revealing the other end to have a heraldic eagle carved on it, along with the letters ‘SPQU’ he’d grown increasingly familiar with laid out in a semicircular fashion underneath. ]

For the second bit, you probably want to have Flame interject, and then have Alice continue her explanation, since as-is, she’s saying a lot without breaks there. e.x. something like…:

[[...] “Flame, this—this is a communications badge!”

Flame looked down blankly at the badge in his claws, before shooting an askew glance back.

“I’m sorry, a what now?” he asked.

“A communications badge, they’re devices imbued with a psychic link to a receiving pokémon,” Alice explained. “I believe they’re supposed to simulate telepathy. When wearing one, one can communicate freely with the receiver on the end of the psychic link, and receive instantaneous messages back from them. ]

He looked at the badge in his claws again, marvelled but uncertain how it would function. Did the operator's voice enter one's head much like psychic-types were too fond of doing?

"Gimme that," Gaius snatched the badge away, twisting it in his own claws and examining every curve and incision. [ ]

"I've heard of these before. I thought only squad leaders in the Imperial Army had access to these things,” he murmured. “Seems weird that a bunch of pompous twats would just hand 'em to us. How do they even work?"

Wait a minute, “squad leader” as in per contubernium, per centuria, or per cohort? I’m assuming it’s the first since option since if they’re normally given out as one to a hundred underlings, that makes it all the weirder that TFA is getting showered in these, but if there’s a way to explicitly indicate that in the narration, it might make sense to try and work something in.

Also, for the bit in brackets, I’d personally suggest expanding Gaius’ reaction a bit given that his spot check would verify that sure enough, he’s holding a functional badge, and that it’s something he’d find very weird since normally TFA doesn’t get access to toys like these.

Such mystery was Any mysteries of how the badges worked were soon dispelled, as an unnaturally calm male voice streamed from the object, [very much physical in nature.]

"To all who are everyone present on this channel," the voice went continued, accentuating every word, "I will now list off each Civil Protection team who has been assigned to me. Please specify your number and species upon hearing your team's name. Team Salient."

>Team Salient

e68d3709f15a1899fedcc48da664ac0b.gif


If this ‘Team Salient’ takes after their namesakes from Overthrown, I suppose there was another Char in TFA that Flame would’ve had a chance to yuck it up with if he’d looked around more carefully last night. Not that they’ll be around for long after this chapter.

Also, something about the bit in brackets feels awkward to me. It might make sense to do something along the lines of “filling the air”, such as [filling the air much as if the speaker had been right beside him]

Flame anticipated expected to hear a second voice to spawn speak up, but nothing followed. [ ]

Weird. The link must be set up in a way that the operator can talk with everyone, but each badge holder can only interact with the operator…

You might find it handy to expand the bit here and have Flame do something like play around with the badge before he realizes that it’s a two-way device.

Flame: "Wait a minute, how many guys is this dispatcher in charge of again? Aren’t there at least 700 of us before counting Legionaries?"
Alice: "I mean, normally these things are distributed at a squad level. Assuming the text is talking about the squads I think they are, then it means that normally, there’s 60 of these badges in a cohort that need to be managed. So I’d put the under on the group we’re sharing a dispatcher with having more total members than that."
Flame: “... Wait, what’s a cohort again?”
Gaius: "Something you don’t need to worry about since we’re not in the army. Though I wonder why they'd throw this much gear at us when we’re not even scouting ahead properly? These things normally are only given to squad leaders among legionaries, so this can't possibly have been cheap.”

"Acknowledged. Team Dakota. Team Dakota, do you copy? Speak into the badge."

The voice continued to gradually list off team after team, with small, noiseless pauses in between for what he assumed were other officers' responses. [ ]

"Fascinating," Alice muttered whilst the male voice continued, "It seems psychic messages are somehow broadcast in actual sound waves. Our job would become so much easier if we could keep these…"

Gaius huffed, though underneath a vague smile. "Tough chance. Let's be thankful they even let us touch legionary equipment at all. This ought to prove fun. Though it ought to be fun while it lasts."

For the bit in brackets, it might make sense to slip in something about Alice’s reaction to all of this to tee up her dialogue there. Since she sounds curious, but it’s not really shown all that much in her mannerisms.

Also not a bracket, but a stylistic nitpick on Gaius’ phrasing that I feel sounds a bit more natural.

Flame: “I’m sorry. We’re about to be sifting through rubble and looking at dead bodies all day. How is this going to be fun again?”
Gaius: “Look, how many chances do you get to pretend that you’re part of the army without having the threat of dying in some muddy ditch on the front lines hovering over your head. Just take it in, since I doubt we’ll get to have another chance like this anytime soon.”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “Why did all of that feel like it was essentially flipping the bird to fate and daring it to do something?” >_>;

"Guys, do you … think he can hear us?" Flame whispered to his teammates.

"I can," the male voice said matter-of-factly. "Team Phalanx."

Gaius exchanged uncomfortable stares with the two of them, before bringing the circular object to his mouth. "Uh … three members. One Grovyle, one Charmeleon, and one Dragonair."

"Copy that. All units, from now on my callsign will be 'Archangel'. I shall oversee search and rescue operations for your group. Estimated time of departure: imminent. Any questions?"

A little surprised that Archangel’s callsign isn’t something like ‘Lar’ considering this setting, but meh. ‘Archangel’ rolls off the tongue better anyways.

Flame: “... Shouldn’t we be getting maps or something like that before we head out or something?” ._.
Archangel: “Negative. You are to depart immediately.”
- The badges abruptly go quiet as Team Phalanx trade worried looks and Gaius throws a paw over his face -
Gaius: “... (Who the hell is running this expedition?)” >_>;

Flame brought his mouth close to the badge in Gaius' paws. "Um, yes. This is Team Phalanx. When we talk…" Flame waited a moment to word his question carefully. "Is every single word we say transmitted?"

"The psychic link is triggered via bodily aura. If you wish for privacy, don't touch the badge. Next."

Flame: "Wait, is Archangel even going to be able to provide meaningful logistical support if half the team just forgets to take their badges off?"
Alice: “I’m… assuming that he’s been assigned a number of Pokémon that he can handle if they all use the line at once? Army dispatchers surely are used to hearing feedback from all their badges at once, right?” ._.
Gaius: "If you two have to ask the question..." >_>;

Upon hearing that, Gaius swiftly pinned the object onto his bag, from where it continued blaring the calm, almost unsettling voice of their supervisor. Officers and legionaries alike were beginning to depart down a narrow pathway leaving the plateau.

"... No, Team Radiance," Archangel droned on through the badge, "I have more than enough brains to handle the dozen or so of you. Next."

>Team Radiance

e68d3709f15a1899fedcc48da664ac0b.gif


I definitely didn’t remember that being there when I first read this passage about 8 months ago. >:V

Flame: “Oh thank goodness, it’s just like 4 or 5 teams that share this channel. I was getting worried for a moment.”
401791663531491330.png

Alice: “I swear that I’ve heard at least two of those team names before. What next, is there a ‘Team Bastion’ on our channel?”
401085511176814613.png

Archangel: “Pretty sure that’s a team from another dispatcher’s assignment. Also, if you’re going to just be engaging in smalltalk, stop touching your badge. Just because I can manage all of you at once, doesn’t mean I want to be doing that all the time!”
- The badges abruptly cut out and Gaius folds his arms with a harrumph -
Gaius: “Hrmph. So our comms are more competent than I thought. That still doesn’t explain the lack of reconnaissance being done.”

A small, barely noticeable tremor shook the earth beneath their feet for perhaps thirty seconds, and ended just as abruptly as it started.

Flame: “Well that’s a bad omen if I ever saw one… (Gaius, I swear to God if you jinxed us with that ‘pretending to be in the army’ comment…)” >_>;

Only a small garrison had been left to guard Camp Horizon, amongst them the field commander and virtually all officials of rank higher than lieutenant. For the rest of the expeditionary force, it took nearly an hour's walk to safely descend from the plateau, and even longer to cross the rolling grasslands that lay between it and the city—nothing short of a wasteland endemic with bushes and weeds, all dyed a withering yellow. The sun was by now directly above their heads.

Considering how hard those guys job in spite of their rank when Camp Horizon gets raided and how they didn’t think of setting up basic A2AD over the one path up the plateau in spite of having enough foresight to ask for a Legionary escort… I’m starting to understand how on earth the Empire has been bleeding itself white while waiting on their Benefactors to come to their rescue.

Considering the implications from your most recent chapter, I’m half-expecting it to turn out that that sort of systemic incompetence is being incubated by design precisely to keep Urbe’s rulers with one claw over the speed-dial button to their Benefactors instead of being able to rely on their own abilities.


Team Phalanx trudged close to one another, alongside the other Civil Protection teams that had been assigned to their dispatcher. Flame brought his head in a full semi-circle in order to estimate the number of pokémon present in that field alone. They comprised a single mass ready to swallow whole any hypothetical opposition whole. At least, he hoped so.

Flame: “... Why am I worrying about opposition when we’re supposed to be here for a search and rescue mission?”
Gaius: “I mean, you saw what Aesernia was like after that earthquake. I’m not ruling out the ‘mons here in Portus being a bit rowdy themselves given that they’ve been waiting on us for two days now.” >_>;

The legionary detachment, some ways ahead, was easily discernible by the orderly dual-column formation in which they travelled. By contrast instead, most officers in Task Force Aegis seemed content to form up in groups of four or five, with little regard for order or uniformity. He nearly failed to notice a flyer squadron swooping in overhead. Scouting ahead, perhaps. But with such flat terrain and murky visibility, he doubted aerial reconnaissance would offer any significant advantage.

Wait, how is there murky visibility when they can clearly see the sun overhead? Wouldn’t that be more of an issue if there’s fog, dust, or smoke about?
401085511176814613.png


Probably want to slip in some extra details here and there in this part and the earlier bits to clear things up, since at first I got the impression that visibility would’ve been really good for fliers doing aerial reconnaissance from the way the sun was described.

Though if you want a suggestion based off of personal bias / life experience, do fog brought in by a marine layer, since you are in a seaside port, or what’s left of it. I mean, normally it’s dissipated by the implied time of day that was mentioned in this scene, but that would definitely mess up visibility for aerial recon, and given the amount of time it takes Team Phalanx to get to where they are at this point, they could conceivably see it start to roll back out to sea while trekking.

Alice: “See, Gaius? We do have aerial support right now.”
Gaius: “I still say they should’ve been doing this job before we left the plateau.” >_>;
Flame: “Better late than never, though given that the visibility is bad from… whatever it is it’s bad from, I don’t think they’d have seen a whole lot even if they went out earlier.”

It was a gradual, nearly imperceptible transition. Amidst the shrubbery appeared, a faded dirt path connected to multiple others appeared, which in turn led onto a large, paved road. Lone wooden structures rose every now and again, but not a single one was intactall showing signs of having been thoroughly searched by prior scouting parties. Now Flame noticed multiple elements of the expeditionary force branching away onto alternative paths and toward the city, slowly but surely thinning out their frightening numbers. Only a handful of few dozens of pokémon from their once-fearsome cohort were still behind them.

The doubt of where to go or whom to follow implanted itself reared up in his head, before a voice from his team's communications device promptly put it down.

"All units, this is Archangel. Your orders are to follow the Via Magistra and sweep western Portus,” the dispatcher’s voice cut in. “From now this point on, this channel is reserved for important communications. If you find survivors, or come under attack, I will try my best to mobilise assistance. Keep your devices within hearing range. Archangel out."

Flame: “Oh come on, we weren’t talking that much on the way over, were we?”
Archangel: “That includes you too, Charmeleon. Get off the line already!”
- Flame pulls his paw away from his badge with a sour pout -
Flame: “Yeesh, who spit in his drink this morning?”
Gaius: “Ariel, by virtue of rendering that guy’s savings worthless overnight like everyone else?”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “... Okay, I should’ve expected that one, but still!” >.<

Flame mulled over those orders over in his own head, whilst hopping over the countless gashes that ran all along the paved road. Alice and Gaius seemed to do the same. They collectively asked the other teams alongside them whether anybody had any familiarity with Portus' layout, but all shook their heads in negative indicating they hadn’t. Apparently, nobody in command had even thought of issuing a map. Perhaps there were none.

Gaius: "I swear to Arceus, somebody's trying to sabotage this mission. How did nobody at least let us look at a map of Portus for us to sketch a copy before we sortied?"
Flame: "I mean, at least we established a few paragraphs that there's more than one dispatcher for all of us. So somebody's trying to help us succeed."
Alice: "Remember that we haven't found a single building standing yet, Gaius. And the aerial reconnaissance teams have been having bad luck thanks to poor visibility from… something. I'm not sure if normal maps would help us for getting into Portus right now."

At the very least, they came across a roadside sign was benevolent helpful enough to point them in the right direction. It hung on an iron pole, reading:

VIA MAGISTRA – PORTUS

SI TU ES URBIS AMICUS, ES GRATUS.

IF YOU ARE A FRIEND OF URBE, YOU ARE WELCOME.

Remind me, is Portus’ Latin motto based off something? Since I actually couldn’t find that construction used elsewhere. Hilariously enough, the motto to Orkney would likely also fit here fairly well: boreas domus, mare amicus, even if it’s very different vibe-wise.

Team Phalanx walked the last stretch of road and beheld the first structures of Portus. The outskirts, if they could still be called so that, lay in a catastrophic state. Out of the roughly dozen buildings immediately within sight, perhaps four of them were recognisable—of while the rest remained were nothing other than an amorphous piles of debris.

The three of them halted in unison to swallow the scale of the destruction. Behind them, a few officers stopped, a few officers murmured, most continued in silence.

Alice: "Even without those murky visibility issues, I'm beginning to understand why they didn't bother issuing us a map." ._.
Flame: "Um. Yeah, I don't think there's much left to rescue here."
:uhhh:

Gaius: "Look, we made it here two days after the earthquake. Start looking around, there should still be some survivors under the rubble."

Flame exchanged looks with his teammates. [Mere words seemed too inadequate to utter.] Thus, they attempted to catch up with the officers who'd surpassed passed them, only to discover that not ten blocks farther ahead the Via Magistra ended abruptly. Or, rather, he was nearly certain that in a time past it continued past for some distance, were it not for the but now it was blocked by rubble now overflowing from nearby gutted houses, gathered in a mound as tall as the roofs themselves.

Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be nothing more than an amalgamation of cement, bricks, metal wires, and wooden beams.

With no other path ahead, they scanned their surroundings meticulously. There was but a no sign of life in the entire area. They seemed to be alone now, save for four rock-like officers making their way down a side alley. As soon as they disappeared as well, Alice's voice startled him out of the hypnotic trance the lifeless cityscape had drawn him into brought on.

Regarding the bit in brackets, something about it feels a bit off. I can’t tell if the intent is something like [Mere words seemed inadequate to sum up their shock at the ruined city about them.], but something about the phrasing feels like it needs a little more to sound natural.

Gaius: “Sure is a good thing those aerial recon teams didn’t bother to tell us about the giant mound of rubble in the middle of the Via Magistra.” >_>;
Archangel: “All teams, be advised, reports are coming in that portions of the Via Magistra are potentially impassable. Exercise caution while finding routes to your search areas.”
- Cue a collective facepalm -
Alice: “Well, we found out about it now...” >.<

"Mew, Aesernia looks like paradise compared to this place…" Alice said. "Where do we even begin?"

Gaius: “Throw a dart, really. Though I’m pretty sure that we’re still supposed to go down this road somehow.”
476581281094828033.png


[ ]

Flame took a moment to fully register their surroundings. "Those other teams will probably search this area first. No use staying here. Maybe we should It’d be better to move on ahead, don't you think?

Gaius nodded, then looked at the debris blocking the way forward. Upon closer inspection He put a foot on the mound of rubble to test if it would crumble away under his weight. It didn't.

"This looks climbable. I'd rather not have others snooping around."

Upon hearing the word, Alice's eyes immediately shot wide. "Climb? Why would we need to climb? Surely there must be an alternative path."

"They told us to keep following the Via Magistra, right? It's the quickest way. Besides, I have a few ideas."

For the bit in brackets, IMO you’d be well served to slip in some stuff regarding Flame and Alice’s train of thought here, since it feels like Flame’s “maybe we should move on” bit would work better if it had a bit of internal thought to build up to it.

Alice: “Gaius, how hard is it to try and look for a bypass on a side street?” >_>;
Gaius: “When a main road is blocked off with rubble like this? Do you really think that you’re going to find any smaller streets in better condition than this? Come on, grab on and let’s start climbing.”

With that, Flame grabbed onto a fairly large hunk of concrete with his paws and helped hoisted himself up with the rest of his body. Small bits of brick crumbled away under his feet in a fashion akin to much like grains of sand, but it was certainly feasible the climb had gone without incident. Stopping momentarily to test his stability, he reached out for another large, flat slab laying diagonally, trying to ignore the plaster dust that stuck to his toes. He was now close to the top, when he noticed that Alice was struggling to climb up due to her serpentine form.

"Hey, Alice. Do you need to be…"

The word 'carried' had already formed on his lips, but he suppressed it the moment he realised how demeaning that offer would have sounded.

But Alice had understood nonetheless. Wordlessly, she shook her head, assumed a serious expression, and slowly but surely slithered forth.

"I … didn't mean it in a bad way," Flame said, unsure whether to apologise.

"I know," she said simply. Her voice betrayed lingering bitterness, but thankfully not directed at him in particular.

Gaius: “You know, I’m pretty sure that Dragonair are normally supposed to fly from aerokinesis or something like that.” >_>;
Alice: “That’s literally just an urban myth, Gaius. Shut up and stop judging me.” >:(

He decided to drop the subject at once, wary of just how derisory insulting it must have felt to point out her physical disadvantages. All he hoped was for this discussion to quickly slip out of her mind. Perhaps the labour grim tasks they'd soon have to invest undertake would do just that.

Within a minute they were all standing on top of the pile of rubble as tall as the two-storey building to their side. From here, one could see the inside of a house whose gutted walls they presumably stood on. He could recognise pieces of furniture in the rooms—standing amongst a mangle tangle of metal poles and chunks of bricks, arranged in otherwise normal fashion, as though anything could further accentuate the ghastly lack of life in Portus.

Also visible was the continuation rest of the Via Magistra, which visibly continued visibly on for some distance after one descended from this pile.

- Flame looks out over the gutted landscape, and back at the shattered streets they just left -
Flame: “Cripes, there’s no way a thousand Pokémon can comb through this mess like this. Maybe we should just start by searching places nearby.”
Alice: “What do you have in mind, Flame?”
- Flame raises a claw -
Flame: “Well, we’re looking at a building right now, so…”

"Think we should look in there for survivors?" Flame asked, unsettled just how far away their echo reverberated.

The Grovyle only gave the gutted building a momentary glance. "We should—in theory. If the roof weren't in danger of collapsing any second now."

[ ]

"And we can't possibly dig through this rubble on our own,” he continued. “If those nutheads brought Tyranitars, then sure that’d be one thing. But we should focus on the buildings we can actually do something about on our own."

Flame found the answer inherently displeasing, but true nevertheless. [ ]

Alice squeezed her eyes shut for a second. "I hate nothing more than when you are right."

I feel as if this section would’ve benefitted from hinting at what it is about the building that tips Gaius and Alice off to the roof looking ready to cave in, since the two didn’t exactly strike me as having had prior experience responding to earthquakes. Not sure what I’d have suggested for concrete additions though.

There’s two bracketed bits to be mindful of.

The first is the one between Gaius’ two lines of dialogue, since you want to throw in some sort of description or noticing of something in the background before he elaborates on why going to the busted-up building is a bad idea. You also want to add an explicit or implicit speech tag in the paragraph right after specifying that it’s him speaking, since originally when reading it, I thought it was Alice who said that line there, and didn’t realize it wasn’t her until getting to her later line of dialogue.

The second bracket would be to expand the paragraph where Flame dislike’s Gaius’ rationale but finds himself agreeing with it. You probably want to fill it with some combination of describing Flame and Alice’s body language, especially Alice’s to better sell the sense of her being disgusted but grudgingly agreeing with Gaius.

Flame: “Wait, it is? How the hell did you tell that just from a glance, Gaius-?”
- Cue a chunk of roof abruptly falling into the ruined house as Gaius side-eyes Flame -
Gaius: “I’m just an observant guy, alright? Now are we moving on, or what?”

The rubble settled into a downwards slope leading onto the street. As it went on, the Via Magistra widened gradually until it became a full-fledged boulevard not unlike the one in Aesernia, only more green. Square patches of earth were carved in the stone, spaced with mathematical precision, upon which rose sprouted rows of palm trees. Their large branches swayed ever so slightly with the breeze, a welcome sign of life amongst the reigning stillness.

Flame: "This place is quieter than Aesernia's library. Are we sure there's anyone left to rescue right now?"
Gaius: "Something's seriously wrong here. It's been less than two days since the earthquake, things shouldn't be this dead already."
Alice: "Now that you mention it, in a city as big as Portus, how have we not run into anybody trying to dig others out here? Or any refugees taking shelter on the outskirts?"
- Beat moment -
Flame: "That’s right, we literally haven’t seen anybody so far. So then what happened here?" ._.;

"Hold on," Alice stopped, and squinted her eyes toward one of the countless ruins. "I think I see something."

Flame turned his head in the same direction. "Where?"

"Yes, I'm certain now! Inside that insula, ground floor. Waste no time Hurry!"

It took but a moment for the three of them to rush across the street and clear some minor rubble away in order to access enter the ground floor of what used to be an apartment complex. Here, the roof had already caved in, alongside most of the external walls. Thus, it was sufficiently safe to enter.

The former room was hardly imaginable now as a closed space, open as it was now, but there was no time for further scrutiny. Underneath a large concrete slab there poked they saw a lightning-shaped appendage poke out. Nearby bricks were marred with dry blood, and Flame breathed in a stench that he'd never felt unlike anything he’d encountered before.

"Here. Someone's trapped underneath," Alice said, "Help me dig!"

Flame: “Alice, is there anything left to rescue of the ‘mon under this slab? This literally smells worse than that toilet from the insula two chapters ago!”
424925435651031049.png

Alice: “Less talk, more digging!”

The three of them worked to remove as much smaller wreckage as possible (though in actuality him , even if in practice he and Gaius bore most of the strain, for thanks to Alice's body did not favour manual deftness), being wholly indisposed to heavy lifting. After a bit of heaving and straining effort, until one of the poor thing's arms became visible.

It was short and stubby, lacking individual digits, but most importantly very, very white. But The Charmeleon-sized slab still crushed the pokémon like a tombstoneit was too large for any one of them to lift alone. If the time spent trapped didn't kill that poor soul, then a botched rescue attempt certainly would. [ ]

"I-I don't even think it's alive. It's not emitting making any kind of sound," Flame bit his tongue lightly, eyes glued to the bloodied bricks they stood on.

Alice looked wholly concentrated. [ ]

"If there is even a tiny chance, we must not hesitate," she insisted.

[ ]

"Let's all move this together," Gaius positioned himself opposite to Flame, paws grasping at the concrete, "On the count of three. One … two … three!"

Alright, in order, but I think that the bit in brackets should add a bit of description giving more insight into the body language or thought process of in order: Flame, Alice, and Gaius. Since it feels like something that would add more insight to how they’re reacting to this episode, especially since Alice comes off as significantly more invested in trying to aid the Raichu than either of her teammates, while Flame comes off as particularly doubtful about their efforts. It might make sense to highlight that in a bit more depth.

Upon Gaius’ signal, Flame set his paws upon the concrete, anchored his feet into the rubble and pushed with all his might as Gaius dragged it toward himself. Alice, meanwhile, unwilling to remain idle, wrapped her tail round the trapped pokémon's arm and yanked it away from its rocky grave. The body dragged along much like a ragdoll, moving bit by bit until its head peeked from underneath. A fleeting glance suggested it to be a Raichu, with puffy cheeks and pointy ears, only covered uniformly with milky plaster dust. Not a speck of yellow remained.

Sooner than he'd expected, however, Flame felt his arms evaporate give way under the rock's unimaginable weight. [yet it was Gaius who let go first.] The cement slab slammed onto the pokémon's ribs with a loud crunch.

Bit in brackets should be expanded into a full sentence, IMO. If the intent was that Gaius was looking out for himself because “nope nope nope, not getting messed up by that concrete slab”, you likely want something like: [As soon as Gaius felt the slab slip his grasp, he let go, leaving Flame to follow suit afterwards.]

Alice + Flame:
:uhhh:

Gaius: “Whelp, if he wasn’t dead, he certainly is now. Time to move on.”

The three of them flinched sharply at the sight, yet the Raichu did not so much as wheeze. It simply lay there, motionless. He stepped forward and set a paw on its chest—more out of formality than doubt. No heartbeat. In fact, the flesh was so cold that he might as well have been touching a chunk of marble.

He wiped the white dust glued to his claws, and, looking toward Gaius and Alice, he shook his head.

"Well," Gaius shrugged. "That was pointless…"

Flame: “Wasn’t there a way we could have come to a conclusion that the ‘mon was dead without me touching a dead body that I’m pretty sure is rotting from that smell it had?”
424925435651031049.png

Gaius: “Look, just be thankful we haven’t run into any other corpses like these yet. From the way the city looked coming in, I would’ve expected us to be entering a slaughterhouse.”

[ ] Alice slithered clear of a tangle of metal wires, and brought her gaze up to the nearby rooms.

"'Tis to be expected,” she sighed. “There are more roofless sections here. If we find even one pokémon who's still breathing, it will all have been worth it."

Flame looked down at the lifeless Raichu again. Perhaps he ought to ignore such vague details, but—that expression! That face, and how hard it was to discern mouth from eyes under the layer of white dust, brought a deep-seated feeling of emptiness inside. Almost as though whatever trait qualified a creature as alive was no longer there.

You might find it worth expanding on Alice’s thought process in the bit in brackets, since the rescue attempt that she was very insistent on trying to undertake just failed, and presumably she’d have some reaction to it, even if it’d be short-lived and swallowed back.

Flame:
Gaius: “Alice, need I remind you that it was your brilliant idea to recruit him onto this task force?” >_>;

He Flame squeezed his eyes together before his mind could go on an inner tangent, and followed Alice and Gaius into a different room. Here, the roof had caved in too—that's what they were stepping on—but all four walls had endured with only scars to show for it. It quickly became apparent that there was no pile of bricks thick enough to hide a body.

His eyes glazed over the surviving furniture. A small chair tossed half-way across the room from its table, the sheets still tucked neatly into a mattress, a ragged cloth that once covered the sole window in this room. But then, Gaius walked to an object he hadn't even noticed before: it was a chest crafted of wood, adorned by naught but a simple metal locking mechanism. The Grovyle snatched it, twisted it in his paws, and set it on the plaster dust-coated table. It took but a simple movement to undo the locking mechanism. [ ]

"Woah, woah—hold it. Are we really scooping this low?” Flame asked. “I thought our main reason for being here was finding survivors, not … looting around like vultures."

You probably want to slip in a sentence or two of description from Flame in the brackets where he realizes that Gaius is looting.

Gaius:
youre_serious_futurama.gif

Flame: “... Well it was Alice and my main reason for being here.” >_>;

Gaius' paw was already roaming free inside the chest, when he stopped momentarily. "And? It's not like these folk have much use for their stuff, do they? Might as well put it to good use. There's hardly a shop around here to buy seeds or orbs properly."

From the corner of his eyes, Flame saw Alice bare a mild shoot a small scowl directed at the grass-type, brimming with displeasure, but otherwise wordless.

[ ] He Flame shut his eyes for a moment.

"Ugh, fine. It still doesn't feel right, but I see your point."

Brackets again probably merits expanding Flame’s thought process/reaction a bit, since he can see Alice’s reaction, but not the way the wheels turn in Flame’s head to take him (grudgingly) more over to Camp Gaius.

Gaius: "Alice, everybody here's dead. This is as close to a victimless crime as you can get!"
Alice: "De mortuis nihil nisi bonum, Gaius."
Gaius: "Ugh, fine. Thank you dead 'mons for leaving your stuff behind for us. There, I said something good about them. Are you happy now?"

With nothing else around him classifiable as entertaining them to occupy their time, both Flame and Alice took position behind their leader and assisted as he dug helped him dig through the chest's contents. The handful of coins previously contained that were once there had already been nabbed, leaving only frivolous personal items (a locket of all things caught his attention), writing materials, and a peculiar cloth folded with meticulous care.

The latter seemed to have been knit out of heavy cloth, dyed a simple, crimson red with no discernable patterns. Just as soon as he noticed Alice take interest in the object, she reached inside the chest with her tailtip, grabbed the cloth, and dangled it in mid-air as to make it unfurl.

"A scarf," she gasped, "I can't believe it!

“[Last winter was so awful, I would have sold myself into slavery just for a speck of warmth. You'd never find material of this quality in Aesernia, or up north in general!"]

She turned to him, eyes brimming with excitement.

"Flame, would you mind just a moment? I want to try this on."

Okay, for the first set of brackets, you probably want to explicitly show Alice’s “kid in a candy store reaction to her scarf” off a bit more explicitly through a small paragraph.

For the second set of brackets, the overall content there is fine, just ought to be reorganized around a speech tag or something and maybe changed slightly in nuance. For example:

[ “The things I’d have done for something like this last winter,” she murmured. “It was so awful that there were times when I was considering selling myself into slavery just for a speck of warmth. You'd never find material of this quality in Aesernia, or up north in general!" ]

Gaius: "Just saying, I don't want to hear squat from you talking crap about me looting for the rest of this mission, Ms. Fashion Model." >:|

Flame stared at the dangling scarf for a moment, before nodding. He took it in his paws—it felt pleasantly smooth to the touch. So much so that a strange desire to wear it himself creeped into his mind. But he paid that voice no heed; mindas a fire-type, cold was the least of his concerns.

Holding the scarf by its ends, he brought the middle section to her neck, over her orb, and then brought both ends round, wrapping it enough times until it seemed to strike a balance between being tight enough to stay attached tightness and comfortable to wear. At the end of the process, he took a step back to gauge her reaction. What was this peculiar tingle deep inside him?

Flame: “U-Uh…” O///O
Alice: “Flame? Are you alright?”
Flame: “Y-Yeah, it’s just that. Y-You look really good with that on.”
Gaius: “Oh my gods, not this again, Flame.” >_>;

Alice stood wordlessly, as though examining the sensation of being wrapped in a scarf. It was an odd thing to witness, that crimson red cloth surrounding her neck just below the snout, her neck orb completely hidden from view. It did not slide off. Her snout arced downward into the cloth, disappearing in it for a moment. It reemerged soon afterwards, revealing the most genuine of smiles.

"It's warm," she said softly, as though temporarily withdrawn into her own thoughts, "You know, Flame, I envy you. Very much so. More than you could ever know.

[ ]

The word 'winter' might not mean a lot to you, but… for those of us who are especially vulnerable to cold, it evokes a nightmare we face every winter,” Alice murmured. “The cold makes it impossible to sleep. Some days we don't eat because there are no feasible jobs we can feasibly do, since going out in the snow might make one's tail freeze off. Famine means there's hardly ever bread to buy, anyway.
[ ]

Who knows, perhaps this winter will go differently. We’ll still be hungry, but not as cold." She rose her gaze to meet his. "…Thank you."

Alright, so the big thing in this bit is that Alice’s dialogue… has a lot going on in it. Enough so that I was able to chop it up into three separate paragraphs without a ton of additional reworks. If you go this route, I would personally just fill the two brackets with some mix of body language or thought process from some combination of her and Flame. Since she’s kinda opening up about some more vulnerable moments of hers that Flame hasn’t really gotten a good look at in the story prior to this point.

Don’t have a ton of hard advice other than that the first paragraph should probably feel a bit more melancholy, while the second one logically should feel a bit more hopeful in vibe, since Alice is expressing her past experiences after the first bracket, and her hopes after the second.

Flame could not shake that dumb smile off his face. Just then, his tail fire swelled without him quite noticing. For the first time in recent memory, he truly felt part of something greater than himself. Originally, entering Team Phalanx was a mere necessity, but now, it had morphed into his purpose. Helping Alice, Gaius, and himself lead comfortable lives. In face of such an immediate task, searching for his lost memories became a secondary aim.

Which is exactly why the story meta-wise is about to throw that Bender gif back in your face starting in literally two scenes, Flame. >:V

Alice unravelled the scarf, then chucked it straight into her bag, an undeniable sense of contentment contentedness emanating off her very features. As she lifted her bag back to her neck, something evidently arose in her mind when she saw Gaius' expression.

"Oh, right. I forgot. Would you prefer to wear it instead come winter? Or … perhaps we could alternate… ?"

Gaius's lips pursed in indifference. Disgust, nearly. "Too girly for me. Keep it."

She stared on with a puzzled expression, but then nodded. Her eyes now addressed them both. "Apologies if I got carried away for a moment. Let us continue our search."

:sceptical:


I actually wonder if he’d sucked up that hesitance over wearing that scarf, if things could’ve potentially gone differently for him in that ice cave Mystery Dungeon in a couple chapters. Since… yeah, a little bit of warmth could’ve made a lot of difference in the eventual outcome.

The rest of the insula—at least, the parts which could be explored safely—uncovered a grand total of zero survivors. And so did the neighbouring houses, and those further along the Via Magistra, where they'd since moved in hopes of finding even the tiniest hint of life. Time and again, the gods would not showed them no grace. Block by block, it appeared as though nothing had been spared: hardly one quarter of all structures they came across could technically retain that remotely deserved the name. and Of those, most were either too perilous to enter or too ruined for one team alone to possibly excavate.

Alice: "Did 30 centimeters of rain fall on the city overnight and drown everyone under the rubble or something? We should be running into a surviving flier, or some digging 'mon, or a Ghost-Type. Or… something with this many 'mons that used to be here!"
Gaius: "You know, we'd have been able to tell that Portus was a giant tomb if we’d waited aerial reconnaissance to finish up earlier! It'd have saved us a ton of effort here!"
Flame: "Something has to be up here. But I don't know what..."

After only ten minutes of walking, however, Team Phalanx came upon across an unusual sight: at the end of one particular city block, and prior to the following, ran there was a stream of live water. The liquid sported a moody-blue aspect hue, as though contaminated by some impurity. Its level rested at only a scarce few metres below ground level, and sliced through the city in an impeccably perpendicular line, masquerading as an intangible roadway.

Flame felt a crushing sense of dismay smother his thoughts. After all, only the most beautiful sections of the city truly reminded one of how deeply the earthquake had perverted reality itself. Almost mournful for the lifeless city, he shut his eyes for a brief instant. He pictured a picturesque bridge arched low over the canal, the coming and going of small boats. Villas whose pure marble thresholds kissed the water, the once picturesque balconies overlooking the cityscape (he counted only one now), of which only a sole surviving example remained to hint at the grandeur that once had been..

Whilst he held no doubt as to the canal's former elegance, that factor became secondary where those idle daydreams of what had been fell away after he realised there was no visible crossing point was visible remaining. The bridge directly ahead of them lacked a midsection span, which presumably rested in pieces beneath the waves the water’s surface.

Flame: “Good thing I didn’t see postcards of this place before coming here, otherwise I think I’d be really depressed right now.” ._.
Alice: “Yeah, I thought Aesernia was oppressive to be in when we left, but this is a whole different level.” :(
Gaius: “Hey, look on the bright side. We’ve had free pickings over the town so far!”
- Alice and Flame stare at Gaius -
Gaius: “What? Always look on the bright side of life-!”
Alice: “Oh my gods, Gaius, can you not right now?!” >.<

It was then that a sudden voice blared from their communications badge, startling all three of them into a jump.

"Team Phalanx, this is Archangel. Status report, over."

Team Phalanx shared a common glance, before Gaius scrambled to unhook the badge, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Uh, no luck yet, sir. We've encountered zero survivors, and three deceased. Destruction appears to be total."

- Beat moment -
Flame: “I’m sorry. We’ve found three dead ‘mons in between all of this? You’d think there’d be an extra zero or two from the way this street looks like! How on earth is this not the least bit weird!”
:uhhh:

- Gaius shrugs -
Gaius: “To be fair, we’re skipping over at least 8 or 9 out of 10 buildings for every one we search.”
Alice: “... No I think that Flame’s onto something. Even in the buildings we were in, we ought to have at least found more than three corpses.”

"Acknowledged. Head into the old harbour, and report any activities. Archangel out."

A few seconds passed before Gaius once again pinned the badge to his bag. "Well, you heard the guy. If we're going to be stuck here, let's at least do something productive."

Gaius: “Well, we could hit up a few of those more stable-looking ruins on the way over and see if we can find anything else worth keeping-”
Flame: “Let’s… just follow the nice dispatcher’s lead and go to the harbor, Gaius.” >_>;

The three of them lingered about for an exaggeratedly hasty lunch, before they set off to follow the canal's current course, since—as Alice explained—the current canal would feed into open sea. As he snaked around inaccessible paths, his gaze spontaneously wandered to the sky. An evident yellow tint corrupted that once celestial plain. Yet it could not possibly be sunset. Had they not awakened mere hours ago? More than a few hundred metres away, he noticed, everything appeared blurred, as though layered on top of itself and just slightly out of alignment.

Can’t tell if that’s supposed to just be them having blown a ton of time in town, or if that’s a precursor to that portal storm that rolls in. If it’s the latter, you might want to have Alice and Gaius react to the weird sky, but ultimately dismiss it or rationalize it away as some other phenomena.

He brought his gaze back to earth. Everything here brought a deep-seated sense of discomfort. It was as though life once bustled here, only to dissolve into nothingness at the earth's quivers.

"It's so weird. This city looks fairly important. You'd think there would have been hundreds of pokémon around here; instead, nothing. Barely any corpses at all. It's like everybody disappeared without a trace."

"True," Alice said, "It was midday when the earthquake hit yesterday. And, to the best of my knowledge, we are the first response force to reach Portus. I doubt there could have been a coordinated evacuation on such scale since then."

"Come on, is it really that hard?" Gaius said, "They must have ran to look for help. Can't really blame them for not finding this place homely."

I’m still proud of myself for sensing that something was seriously wrong with this earthquake even before the story explicitly spelled out the lack of dead bodies being a thing.

Alice: “Wouldn’t we have seen signs of that coming in from the outskirts, Gaius?”
401085511176814613.png

- Gaius shrugs -
Gaius: “... They used ships and fliers? It’s a port city, after all. And I’m sure that swimming or flying your way out of town would be faster than trying to go overland.”
- Flame blink moment -
Flame: "... Hey wait a minute. You remember when we went into Aesernia from our first mission, right? With the portal storm that tore up the front gate? You don't think...?"
Gaius: "Tch, a portal storm big enough to cover all of Portus? This far out from where all other ones have been recorded? You're getting ahead of yourself,
Flame."
Alice: "I don't know, something's not adding up here. An earthquake that did this to Portus in the middle of the day ought to have left a lot more bodies behind. And if the surviving residents really did flee to call for help, why haven’t we seen any sign of a hasty withdrawal of some sort?"

"Maybe so…" Flame muttered back, his tone disagreeing with those very words.

Silence ensued. Team Phalanx continued to pad through dusty, featureless piles of rubble that were once neighbourhoods.

Although they were undoubtedly moving, one could have began to suspect whether time was looping back over and over again, much like in a mystery dungeon. There was little wind, and though his body heat made him unable to judge outside temperature, neither teammate had complained.

Definitely more hints than I recalled originally that the earthquake wasn’t natural. Though I suppose having a second gander helps with those sorts of things.

Flame: “U-Uh… guys? Is Portus during mid-day supposed to feel like this again?”
:uhhh:

Alice: “What? Being a bunch of heaps of rubble? No, but that’s why we’re here searching and rescuing.”
Gaius: “And getting in a spot of scavenging here and there. Don’t forget that part.”
Flame: “No, what I meant was- oh nevermind.”

"There," grunted Gaius, pointing straight ahead. At the end of the street, the horizon was clearly visible, clear of obstructive buildings.

All of Team Phalanx knew at once what that meant. They hastened their step, if only to get a closer view.

Past the palm trees lined along the coast, past the scarred asphalt bleeding mud, Flame beheld saw something that took him some moments to fully process. Water, water as far as the eye could see, swaying to and fro at regular intervals. Water below the pier, stretching far beyond the horizon, charged a deep, abyssal blue.

I’m actually a little surprised that Flame didn’t have more of an uncomfortable reaction to seeing the sea given that he didn’t exactly feel at ease standing over that river back around Camp Horizon. Though I suppose it might feel different for a Char in this setting if there’s a healthy amount of distance from the ocean and terra firma under one’s feet.

Now he became aware of the hum reaching his ears, perfectly timed with the waves.

"So this is the ocean…" Gaius murmured half to himself.

Flame peered at the Grovyle. "Why, you've never seen it?"

[ ]

"No. There's nothing like this in Aesernia. Have you?"

I think that it might make sense to slip in a small paragraph expanding on Gaius’ body language and reaction before he gives his reply in the bracketed bit there.

- Flame side-eyes -
Flame: “... Really, not even a really big lake or the like?”
Gaius: “There’s no lake that’s wide enough in these parts to go all the way off into the horizon without mountains or something poking up on the other end of the horizon, so… no.”

The question resonated more than he'd Flame had expected. It was a fair question: had he seen the ocean before? His first gut reaction told him there could be no way of knowing, especially with amnesia muffling his past, but upon further examination it was as though his brain noticed an incongruity with such conviction. Perhaps it was true. After all, his body seemed to whisper that much.

He set his paws on the sides of his skull. "T-There's this image in the back of my mind. It's hard to decipher, but I'm fairly confident it has to do with the sea,” he said. “I've seen it before. I can't tell you when, or where—"

he said, before freezing Flame trailed off and froze for a moment. If only for a second, the image cleared. Grey. Heartless, gray steel. Howling wind. The tapping of rain.

" … A ship. I was on a ship."

Gaius: “... You? On a ship?
:sceptical:

Flame: “H-Hey look, I’m pretty sure there was a story in Aesernia’s library that had a Growlithe on a ship or something! Why’s a Charmeleon so hard to believe, huh?”
Gaius: “Oh, I don’t disbelieve you can find a Charmeleon on a ship. I just don’t believe you would be on one from the way you run around like a beheaded Torchic in the face of danger.”

Alice's interest peaked. "A ship? Does—does this mean your memories are returning?"

Flame reflexively smiled at those words. Hope sparked to life. [ ]

"Maybe. It's just this one image. Not much to remember. I guess it's something, though."

Alice gasped. [ ]

"Flame, you have no ideas how relieving that is to hear! If what you're saying is true, then your memories are still present,” she insisted. “With time, we could figure out who you are, and what happened to you."

Now it felt impossible to shake off that dumb smile. It's just like those dreams I've had a few days ago. What’s happening to me? Maybe my brain's delusional, but I don't like to think of myself that way. My past life is buried somewhere inside me. I know it is.

He looked toward Gaius. The grass-type tried his best to maintain a fairly neutral face, but it leaked couldn’t help but betray the semblance of curiosity.

For the bits in brackets in this chunk, I think you should expand on their body language and mannerisms a bit of Flame for the first one, and Alice for the second one respectively.

Gaius: “... I’m still calling shenanigans here. You must’ve been the world’s worst sailor to manage to get stuck in the Spearhead Mountains. What on earth did you do? Desert from the navy?”
:sceptical:

Flame: “Look, your guess is as good as mine, but I know that I was on a ship.”

"Let me think…" Alice said. "You mentioned being aboard a ship. That isn't too common, I must admit. Perhaps you used to be a member of the Imperial Navy. Either that, or you took one of the ferries from the southern coastline"

Alice trailed off and her face became lined with discomfort. [ ]

"Although … now that I give it some thought, it would be fairly unusual for a fire-type to join the Navy. Can you remember any more details?"

Same deal regarding adding deets about Alice’s reaction and mannerisms in the bracketed bit here.

Flame: "Wait a minute... didn't Livia from last night come from a family that owned navy shipyards, though? She’s a Charmeleon herself, so why would Fire-types at sea be that unusual?"
Gaius: "Yeah, and I'm sure the Navy isn't going to pass up on the chance to burn enemy ships up out on the water. Why with how nasty ship fires get, they'd probably be able to make more cowardly enemies surrender off the bat if they had that hanging around as a threat!"
Alice: "I said fairly unusual. Even if that's all true, there's not that many Fire-Types out there who can keep their nerve around that much water."

Well, not in this setting anyways. o3o

He waited a few seconds to order his thoughts. He looked into her eyes. "It-it was made of steel. At least, I think so. Do you know of any ships made of steel?"

"What?" Gaius scoffed. "Call me an inland 'mon, but that's impossible. Something like that would sink faster than an overweight Snorlax."

Considering some potential stuff you’ve mentioned in passing for things that might come down the pipe in the relatively near future, would Gaius dismiss the possibility so flatly? Since from what I remember of those offhand mentions, I’d expect stories to circulate around unless those steel ships were dealt with in a very particular fashion to keep them from prying eyes.

Flame remained wordless, unable to find a worthy response. "Oh. Maybe some other part?"

Alice nodded, as though to testify for that statement. "Some newer galleys feature iron plates on the sides. And the ram, I suppose. Other than that, nothing."

He bit his lip. Damn it. How could this be? Maybe there's something to that memory I'm not recalling, but I'm certain that what I'm seeing is true memories really happened. It has to be They had to have. There's no other explanation.

Really playing to your setting there, I see. Though I certainly hope Urbe has the foresight to exploit Pokémon abilities to help give those rowers below deck a leg up on moving things along.
854473839756705812.png


Gaius turned on his heels, his gaze exploring falling the nearby harbour and promenade. He made no comment, beyond Only a reflexive sigh that followed as he shook his head and carried along.

"W
hatever. There's the harbour."

Flowerbeds and palm trees lined the marble-tiled promenade, which stretched over the entire shoreline. From where they stood, one could easily spot the large cement pier protruding into the water. Further ways away was an almost exact replica of the first pier, arranged as to close the port akin to a pincer. Access was only possible through the central gap in the pincer formation, which—he imagined—choked traffic to manageable levels.

Moored to those docks were A grand total of five ships moored to those docks. One in particular of them was particularly bulky, flying what he could make out to be an imperial banner as its sail. The others, tiny and austere, barely classified as anything higher more than lifeboats status. All lay tilted listing on one side or the other, with all but their masts and superstructures submerged beyond redemption still poking above the harbor’s water.

Flame: “Uh… yeah, I don’t think that this is exactly a huge improvement over all those wrecked buildings we passed on the way over.”
Alice: “Pretty sure that those ships look like they’d survivable pockets inside. We might as well take a closer look and see if anyone’s sheltering inside.”

When they entered Portus's namesake, he once again got the impression that life had long ceased to exist. Did their presence here even serve a purpose? Or was it a mere formality for Ariel to comfort herself in with? Prior to Just before the harbour's structure itself was a fairly extensive open-air market running along the side of the streetside. Even those multicoloured stalls carried a mood-crushing grey aura to them. Remaining inside were a plethora of fish, of wildly different shapes and sizes, some of which he could not apply a name to. All over the market, and even the harbour proper, wooden crates were stacked atop one another. Team Phalanx only noticed that some lacked a lid when they got close to a stash of rotting Goldeens.

[The stench rifled up his nostrils and clenched ever tighter round his tumultuous stomach. Bile rose in his throat when the stench rifled up his nostrils, and made a knot of his stomach.] A pair of Rattatas scurried away from that very crate, a sight that attracted much attention if only in quality by virtue of being the first movement they'd seen in hours.

"… Of course those little bastards would be alive. Better than nothing, I guess."

Waaaaaaaait a minute, how is any of that stuff in the underlined bit still standing and not just strewn about in a wrecked heap considering the absolute state of the rest of Portus and the ships in harbor? If things are supposed to be noticeably less in disarray around the port, you probably want to describe that more in the text, otherwise… yeah, things oughta be a lot less neat and tidy than described there.

Also, for the bit in brackets, you describe the same fundamental thing twice in a row. I’d personally just go with the second sentence and tape it onto the paragraph about the Rattata since it’s a bit better written than the first one.

Flame opened his mouth in order to formulate a response, until the realisation dawned on him. That voice did not belong to Gaius, nor Alice.

Within the span of an instant, his he whirled his head shot in the voice's direction—not unlike almost as if an electric impulse had zapped his shoulder. [That was all it took.] His muscles had suddenly hardened into stone. Without much thought, he raised his claws in full view, and tensed his body. [Alice looked visibly bemused. Gaius drew his leaf blades.]

There! The figures had just rounded the corner. One, white, furry, with a head appendage—Absol. Yes, there was no mistaking it. He recognised that species. The other, a smaller, lavander-furred feline, travelled alongside the first. The feline uttered a few words, then froze with her mouth mid-syllable when the two strangers' gaze met Team Phalanx's.

For a brief second, silence reigned sovereign among the five Pokémon.

Alright, two bracketed bits for you to pick over in this bit.

Something about the first one feels like it’s a bit too compressed, mostly because I feel as if it doesn’t explain the “what” of “That was all it took”. I think the intention was something along the lines of [That was all it took to set Flame on edge after hours of searching about a dead city], but that doesn’t come through in the current text.

For the second bit in brackets, something about Alice being bemused while Gaius is going into full “brace for contact” mode doesn’t quite click for me. Like either it’d make more sense to make Alice a bit more nervous, or else have her have a giggle at Flame, and then have some sort of “... Er…” reaction after seeing Gaius tense up and realizing that they might be in a more serious situation than first thought.

"Hey—calm down, calm down!" Alice shouted. "Everyone, take a deep breath. We're all Task Force Aegis. No need to escalate the situation further."

Those words served as messengers of reason, for once heard both sides came to their wits. Both saw the Civil Protection badges pinned on the other's bags, and both softened eased out of their respective battle stances.

Alice: “... Considering how we were five seconds from cutting each other up, we really should’ve worked out some sort of signaling or communication protocol back in Camp Horizon.” ._.;

Flame took a deep, deep breath, incredulous at how quickly things were about to escalate had almost come to blows. It was merely another Civil Protection team, just like them. [There had been no real need to act that way. Portus appeared expansive when compared to Aesernian standards, but certainly not immense.]

The Absol emitted something close to a snarl. "Ah, for cryin' out loud, it's just our guys and civilians here. What the hell got into your bloody heads?"

Gaius lowered his leaf blade, his face conveying more annoyance than apology. "Call it 'force of habit', if you will."

Alice stepped forward, donning a tentative smile. "I apologise. You see, we had yet to encounter a single living being here, so … in a way, y-your appearance caught us by surprise."

Though the Absol let out a disgusted snort and refused to meet their gaze. The Espeon did so, though with a face appeared far from forgiving over the the incident.

"It's understandable. What with all these voices going around that the Scum can use mystery dungeons to bypass front lines, everyone's on edge,” the Psychic-type explained. “I suppose that fear isn't entirely unfounded. Can't say I appreciated the scare, though."

Something about the bit in brackets highlighted I don’t think quite follows. Since the way Team Phalanx and the team of randoms react to each other feels like you should emphasize that they were on edge and why they think they shouldn’t have been so on-edge. A little light on hard suggestions there, though.

Flame: “That… wasn’t just voices given that we saw that happen right in front of us like a day ago.”
:fearfullaugh:

Gaius: “Gods, Flame. Can you read a room and not make a tense situation worse right now?” >_>;
Flame: “But we’re not in a room-”
Gaius: “You know what I meant! It’s a figure of speech!”

Silence only prolonged hung in the cold, stale air. It became evident that this their interaction with their team of counterparts had set started off on the wrong foot. Their previous exchange lingered in the air for some moments, echoing farther than he felt comfortable with.

Flame: “That… can’t possibly be natural, can it?”
:uhhh:

Gaius: “Beats me. Focus more on the pissed-off team of coworkers here right now.”

"Anyways, um … how's the search going?" Flame asked, chiefly to divert attention onto a different topic.

[ ]

"Nothing," the Espeon shook her head. "We found one resident who seemed to be breathing, but they died before a medical unit could reach us. Otherwise, just corpses."

The Absol pawed a pebble away. "Fifty-thousand 'mon used to live here. Now it's a ghost town. Never seen anything like this."

Ah yes, this Absol. Where does this guy think he is anyways? Pripyat?

Also, you probably want to drop in a description of some body language in the bit in brackets over there to cue up the Espeon’s dialogue there.

Flame nodded wholeheartedly. To hear their voices echo loudly in every direction almost felt disrespectful, in a way.

"Same,” he insisted. “We've been clearing entire streets for hours, with zero results. Our dispatcher just sent us to investigate the harbour."

The Espeon's ears perked to attention. "Really? Thank the gods. I was beginning to wonder why Archangel would leave two measly officers to survey this gigantic area."

"It seems you've been assigned to our same dispatcher," said Alice. "Perhaps there are more teams on their way here. Have you found anything of note?"

I actually just realized from the species that there’s pretty decent odds that this is the ‘Team Radiance’ of your setting. After all, the species do happen to track some of the party members from the later bits of the story of another Team Radiance. I actually don’t remember if these two were around back in the spring or not and that’s something you patched in or a happy coincidence though.

The Absol shook his head. [ ]

"We were going to check out the market just here,” the Dark-type said. “Haven't taken a good look at the docks yet. Guess you can do it for us. If you find someone, look for us in this area."

There appeared to be nothing no further findings left to share. Flame could sense residual of tension reside in everyone's very stances. And thus, Team Phalanx shared a common look among each other, and the three of them wordlessly agreed to depart.

"Sure thing. We'll … be on our way, then," Gaius said plainly, and turned in the main dock's direction.

"Good luck," Alice added quickly, before she followed suit.

"Don't bother with those warehouses," said the Absol from behind as the distance between them grewaccumulated, "Just naval equipment and other useless junk."

And so, the two groups parted ways wordlessly.

I’d personally split off the Absol’s dialogue into its own thing since he says like 5 sentences unbroken and expand the earlier stub description with another sentence or two to turn it into a proper paragraph.

Flame: “Er… was it really wise for us to just split off from those two like that?”
Gaius: “After how dead the city’s been the entire time? What are the odds we’ll ever need them?”
Alice: “Okay, that has to be tempting fate in some fashion, Gaius. But… it is just a few ships. I think we can handle it between the three of us even if we run into a nasty surprise.”
Flame: “... Okay, now you two are scaring me.”
:uhhh:


For some odd reason, Flame felt an almost imperceptible weight lift off his chest as they walked out of those two's sight, as though finding greater a strange sense of comfort within the privacy of his team that had been absent when around the pair. An absentminded smile set itself upon his face.

Albeit Even if he hadn't quite figured out every facet of Alice and Gaius' life yet, it mattered not. One week spent in each other's constant presence, sleeping in the same tent, all of them tied inexorably by the daily struggle to survive, had forged invisible yet undeniable bonds.

He could notice it in their behaviour, too. Gaius had yet to make even a single derisory insulting remark today. In fact, his leader was beginning to address him more often in general, whether consciously or not. And, Furthermore, Alice spoke to him sincerely, whether of trivialities or of the past, of their team's future or her own life. Slowly but surely, he belonged somewhere. Could anything feel more soothing to the mind?

youre_serious_futurama.gif


Flame: “Th-That was so not called for!” >///<
Gaius: "Pretty sure that a good chunk of those bonds are just bare pragmatism."
Alice: "Oh come on, Gaius, don't be so negative. We should be happy that Flame's opening up this much to us!"
Gaius: "I mean, just saying, I'm just not convinced that something's not up with a 'mon with that little of a grudge over the way we tried to screw him over just a week ago."
Alice: "I mean, most 'mons also aren't amnesiacs to the point of not remembering their original names or anything about life up until a week ago, so let's be open-minded about possibilities here."

Rows upon rows of warehouses lined the section of cement prior to the pier itself. Constructed out of metal plates, these were the only structures they’d yet encountered to that were still fully standing up altogether, although in visible disrepair. This particular angle of the world, he thought, if the rest was forgotten, resembled something close to normalcy.

But the officer from before had left all the doors wide open, so the group continued up to where the pier narrowed and where small fishing boats remained moored, most submerged into the harbor’s water in to varying states of submersion degrees. They drew loops round the stacks of sealed crates, [ ]

You’ve got a sentence that’s cut off abruptly there. Probably want to fill it in with something to finish it.

"Hey, guys?" Flame said. "So … that officer said the Scum use mystery dungeons to travel across long distances more quickly. You heard that, didn't you? Is it true?

Alice looked at him, as if to reply, yet remained deep in thought for a few moments. "I can't say I haven't heard that theory. After all, anyone who travels through anomalies knows that you'll be spit out wherever the anomaly pleases. While far from ideal, I am certain it's been attempted before."

"Yeah. The one thing that makes 'em different from ferals is they learn," remarked Gaius.

Well, they also have their own written and spoken language and culture, not that Gaius doesn’t have personal reasons for wanting to not give them credit for that.

Also a reminder that these three literally saw the Scum using a Mystery Dungeon as a transport method back in Castra Aeterna. Even if they haven’t quite put two and two together in-setting, you probably want them to refer back to the behavior they saw in this sequence since it’s much less of a hypothetical for them, and more a matter of “can they actually do this regularly?”

Flame wracked his mind round the daunting implications of such a possibility. [ ]

"Oh, great… Not only do we have to worry about portal storms or famine, but an invasion as well," he said, gritting his teeth. "I mean, who—who are the Scum? I've been thinking lately. They must have some goal apart from simply invading. What could they possibly want?"

Gaius: “Oh you know, raping, pillaging, burning… going out of their way to destroy other Pokémon’s lives for jollies. Do a bunch of bloodthirsty devils like them really need a goal beyond that?”
- Flame blinks and side-eyes Gaius -
Flame: “... That sure feels like a rather pointed summary from you, Gaius. Isn’t that kinda a terrible reason to mount a massive invasion when their fighters jobbed to the three of us and two Legionnaires back in Castra Aeterna?” ._.;
Alice: “(I’m… actually not super convinced those were fighters we ran into, but let’s not get into that. I’d like to be able to sleep well tonight.)”
:fearfullaugh:

Gaius: “Hrmph, I’ve seen enough of them to know that if they have a deeper goal, it basically doesn’t matter for what the rest of us have to deal with.”

"'Tis anybody's guess, really," Alice said. "Our people cannot communicate, and as such we know little to nothing.

[ ]

“What we do know, however, are historical facts,” she explained. “We know, for instance, that these populations inhabited the northern regions prior to Honorius' conquest many hundreds of years ago, and that following a failed insurrection they'd been banished across the Spearhead Mountains. Then, silence.”

[ ]

“Some explorers ventured outside the empire's reaches in the following centuries, but those were few and far between,” the Dragonair murmured. “and Mentions of outside tribes within the Wastelands even fewer."

She accompanied the last words with a sigh. [ ]

Uhh… yeah. You should probably split Alice’s block of dialogue up, since it’s really dense in this bit. In this case, I proposed a three-paragraph structure, with the first two bits to fill in where you show the reactions and internal thought processes of Team Phalanx’s different members. The last one should be something specifically about Flame’s reaction and thought process since he speaks immediately after this, but it’s not really teed up as-is.

Also, since you still have the most cursed general name imaginable for a setting like Urbe as canon in Chapter XI at the time of posting, I get to trot out this golden oldie of a gag. :V

Flame: "Wait, why were those attempts few and far between? Shouldn't the Empire have suspected something was wrong from complete silence they got from a bunch of 'mons with a massive axe to grind against them?"
401085511176814613.png

Alice: "Well, when one of the attempts at exploring involved losing multiple legions early on in the history of the Empire, it was a pretty strong disincentive to really pry much closer."
Gaius: "Yeesh, I'd hate to be the guy who owned up to that disaster. His name must've been utter mud after that."
401076862924750848.png

Alice: "I'm pretty sure the general responsible died in action, but his family basically was shut out of power in Urbe over it. Oh, the name's right on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't remember it..."
636782104289476608.png

- Meanwhile in Urbe -
Adrian: "So, did General Varus get his reinforcements yet? Or is he still whining for more?"
Colonel!Lucario: "They're en route as we speak, your Majesty. With how well he's been doing I'm sure that they'll give him just the little last shove he needs to be victorious."

"Maybe it's an act of revenge," he proposed. "To reclaim the lands they see as theirs."

Alice stared up at the misty sky. "I suppose that's a possibility. But, even so, I can't help but feel something's amiss.”

[ ]

“It's not merely about military incursions. No, it's a full-on exodus,” Alice explained. “Legionaries have attested that enemy armies often accompany mothers and younglings, and build their own villages in occupied territory. The Wastelands may be harsh and cold, but …

[ ]

Why now?” she murmured. “Why wait so many centuries if conditions truly were so dire? Something extraordinary must have pushed them to migrate."

Same deal here as in the prior block. Lots and lots of exposition from Alice’s end. Might as well separate it out and show the internal mental wheels turning a bit more from her and the team to make it a bit more digestible for the readers.

Flame: "I mean, just saying. If they're killing off entire towns, I'm pretty sure that revenge is still a part of their motivations."
Alice: "There can be multiple motivations, Flame."

For a fleeting moment, Gaius grinned. [ ]

"Never thought you'd manage to interest me with your historical babble. If you ask me, maybe they got decimated by portal storms just like us,” the Grovyle proposed. “Remember the date of the first invasion? It wasn't long after these storms got really bad."

Flame listened intently. "When did they begin, exactly? Were they not always around?"

Alice shook her head. "A hundred and four years ago—or so my tutor taught me. At the time, the current emperor was still a crown prince.

[ ]

“The first manifestation recorded portal storm happened over the open sea, so it was viewed as simply a peculiar phenomenon,” she explain. “But then more appeared, occasionally coming into contact with larger population centres.

[ ]

“They've become a regularity ever since," she murmured, looking toward the sky again. "Yes, now I do see a possible connection with the Scum migrating."

Oh, so Pater Hadriani’s breaking of that siege of Urbe 110 years ago did carry some serious side effects. That definitely wasn’t there when I first read this chapter.

Yeah, more of the same re: spreading out that exposition from Alice’s end, though for the brackets in Gaius’ paragraph, you probably want to expand things a bit. And probably consider changing his mood a bit in light of what you settled on for his backstory, since while I could see him being interested in this topic. I wouldn’t see him as the type to grin about it unless it was a really obviously forced grin.

Flame: "'They got decimated by portal storms just like us'? Gaius, if portal storms killed off a bunch of Pokémon in the Empire in recent history and some of them hit big towns and cities, then how do we not know that all of this isn't from some portal storm?"
- Gaius paw at shoulder uneasily -
Gaius: "I mean... I guess it's not impossible, but there's never been an entire city just removed from existence by a portal storm before. If it never happened before, what are the odds that suddenly it happened this time?"
Flame: "I mean, wouldn't the same things have been said about those very first portal storms a century or so ago?"
- Cue an uncomfortable silence -
Flame: "I mean, this is admittedly all just a theory on my end, and maybe you're right. But what else do we know about these things?"

"But … are there any explanations of what could have triggered these events? Or theories, at least?" he insisted, gluttonous of greedy for every detail he could extract about this strange, strange world.

"No. That's the issue,” the Dragonair replied. “Psychic researchers, religious figures, nothing. Nobody has the slightest clue what is happening, nor are they making an effort to understand.

[ ]

I guess there were multiple guardians of temples claiming that Giratina is attempting to conquer the overworld, but does anyone truly take them seriously nowadays?"

Not as dramatic as the prior couple bits, but yeah. Break Alice’s exposition up here.

Gaius: “Yeesh, no wonder you were jumping up and down to get at that blasted history book for the last 6 chapters, Alice. Dump any more history on us, and I’d think you were a professor of some sort.”
Alice: “It’s important information for this setting and has major later plot implications, shut up.” >_>;

Gaius snickered lightly. "If you mean those circles of stuck-up intellectuals you seem to like so much, then no, probably not. But provincial 'mon have nothing better to believe in. Trust me, I was one."

Flame had to stop to fully appreciate that his leader had just revealed something about his past for the first time.

Provincial? Huh. That means he's not from Aesernia. Where, then…? he dug through his memories to remember the map he'd partly memorised in the library. Ah, it's probably some backwoods village in or around the Silva Boema. I imagine that's where plant pokémon like him live.

I still say that it probably makes sense to bring up the Silva Boema in passing once or twice prior to this point in this story, since… yeah, it still comes a bit out of left field here since it’s just literally never mentioned before in the narrative, even in passing.

Gaius: "... Wait, how do you know what the Silva Boema is, Flame? You literally never mentioned or thought about it in that chapter where you were at the library."
Flame: "Er... I saw it and it was just a matter of conservation of detail? I mean, I saw Capri on that map, too."
Gaius: "I mean, yeah, I'd know where Capri would be too when Alice won't shut her yap about how much she wants to go there!" >_>;
Alice: "I didn't realize you had that little faith in the gods, Gaius. Don't you have anyone that you call out for for a little luck, just in case?"
Gaius: "Alice, everything has been getting progressively worse in my life for as long as I can remember. What's the point of calling out for help to beings that might as well not exist with as much good as they've done for me?"
Flame: "(To be fair, you inhaling wine constantly surely isn't helping matters, or the long-term health of your liver.)”

Much to his disappointment, the conversation subsequently died down. Albeit hungry for knowledge (and, admittedly, food), he acquiesced to his leader's order that they focus on the mission at hand. The Grovyle was right, he thought: these long discussions were hogging up too much precious time. Every second that passed meant a weaker heartbeat somewhere out there in the rubble, a consciousness slipping into obscurity off the mortal coil. And even if it were not so, then it would mean less time to spend in that ghastly place which weighed on the heart.

For the underlined bit, Gaius… kinda doesn’t do that. IMO the easiest fix is just to slip in a throwaway line from Gaius about “Well, cute history lecture there, but we should get back to work.” right before this paragraph. Not the only way to cut up that apple, though.

Everyone's attention was simultaneously captured by one particular ship moored just ahead.

It was much, much larger than all others—rising above the pier in height—but in comparison the deck appeared narrower. Metal plates resembling that of body armour adorned the sides, whilst below those he spotted innumerous holes in the wood, running along the ship's length and spaced out carefully. Out of each protruded a long wooden oar, amounting to dozens upon dozens of oars resting on the water's surface, undisturbed. The front of the ship featured a protuberance made of metal, which he identified as the ram. Judging by the imperial eagle stamped on the large red sail, it must have belonged to the Imperial Navy.

Oh hey, this is a lot more detail than I remembered of the Mare Nostrum in my first readthrough. Not complaining, since in light of how easily that wooden door got toasted in the insula raid a couple chapters ago, jerry-rigging an ironclad is probably a basic requirement for keeping a viable naval vessel in this setting.

Still curious about the body armor comparison since I’m pretty sure that has never been established to be in circulation in this setting (even if considering how easily Pokémon bleed in it, they’d be well-advised to look into it). I mean, there’s a couple alternative workarounds given how Flame knows how to compare things to military bases from his background, but one way or another, you can’t just bring this stuff up and never show it in the future.
854473839756705812.png


"Think we should board it and look around?" Flame asked. "If every building in my town was destroyed, this looks like a place I'd take refuge in."

Gaius seemed to mull the offer over momentarily. Then, he shrugged. "Sure. It's about the most interesting thing we can do right now."

Thus, one by one, the three of them crossed the narrow bridge leading onto the ship.

Not ten seconds had passed before Flame was forced to help himself along the protective railing, in order not to fall victim to the ship's tilting and counter-tilting. Here, he felt the waves truly control the hull: now the ship swayed on one side, then stabilised, then abruptly swayed on to the other side, all while rising and falling a few metres according to whatever the waves dictated. Worst of all, his stomach was being tossed about to nausea. His paws wrapped tighter around the railing. Now he thanked their decision was thankful they’d decided to eat once the port had been checked.

Flame: “O-Oog… how on earth is the ship even pitching around this badly in a harbor? Aren’t harbors supposed to have breakwaters precisely to prevent this sort of thing?” @.@
Alice: “Er… reminder that there was kinda a major earthquake here. Those breakwaters might very well not exist in any meaningful capacity right now.”
Flame: “Hurk! I could’ve sworn the text’s description implied that there were some, though!” @.@

Upon closer inspection, the deck revealed itself to be even narrower than it seemed, measuring no more than three times his body length. It was completely devoid of objects, besides a select cache of barrels and rope, and two complex-looking catapults mounted just behind the bow.

Gaius lost his balance during one of the ship's movements, but used his knee to avoid hitting the floor. "Mew be damned … how do sailors manage to stand up on this thing? And this is anchored to port to the bottom of the harbor!"

I actually did a double-take at the underlined bit and hit up Google since that didn’t sound right to me. But no, biremes really did get that narrow. Mind you, if the Mare Nostrum is a bigger style of ship than just a bireme, the beam would accordingly be wider than that. For instance, the reconstructed trireme Olympias IRL has a beam of 5.5 meters.

Also, regarding Gaius’ complaint, having working breakwaters and having some babysitters in the water that can potentially smooth out waves helps. Though in the end, that’s getting into “grow some sea legs already” territory. >:V

Both him and Gaius took cautious steps, taking care never to detach at least one paw from the timber railing. Once above the hatch, Flame knelt down and, wrapping his claws around the handle, yanked it toward himself. Nothing. The hatch flinched, but something seemed to block it. Blinking, he tried again, this time with greater strength. Still nothing but creaks.

"It … it won't open," he furrowed his brow in confusion.

Gaius treated him with a heavy groan, and pushed him back. "Geez, are you this frail? Is the damn hatch too heavy for you? Let me do it."

Gaius yanked with audible impetus, but the end result did not change. The Grovyle scowled. All following attempts emulated turned out the same as the first.

Openly growling, the Grovyle let go of the handle altogether. He then brought his leaf blades down on the exposed hinges, and pummelled them again and again until they ruptured in a clang and flew off. With no structural support remaining, the hatch merely detached itself from the deck and thundered down the newly revealed set of stairs, resting fully coming to a stop on one of the final steps.

Flame: "'Is the damn hatch too heavy for you', Gaius?"
Gaius: "Shut up. At least I got it open."

Flame could only stare in discomforted shock whilst his leader filled his lungs with air in order to regain calm his composure. The Grovyle noticed his teammates' stares, but did not comment immediately.

Instead, Gaius looked straight into his eyes. "Fine, fine. It was locked. I get it."

Flame's eyes became wide with surprise. Excuse me? Was that an apology I just heard? Did you hit hit your head while I wasn't looking?

Gaius: “Don’t go imagining things there, Flame.” >_>;

One by one, Team Phalanx descended the creaking staircase. Darkness enshrouded the inside interior, and his tail light could only properly illuminate the immediate stairway. Overall, the room followed the hull's shape: very elongated, yet somewhat narrow in comparison. Light, spearing inside via paw-sized holes meant for the oars, highlighted thick clouds of dust particles hovering in the air.

"Hello?" Alice raised her voice. "Is anybody here?"

Flame did not expect a response, and indeed, the dust held none.

Gaius huffed. "If they were, I doubt they'd lock themselves in."

"True. We tried, I suppose," Alice resigned herself with a sigh.

Flame: “So… does that mean that we can get off this thing before we start puking up our lunches onto the timbers?”
Gaius: “Oh hell no. After having to cut through that hatch, we’re not leaving until we find something good to walk off with.” >_>;

The three of them moved forward in unison with his crackling tail fire. Wooden benches lined the room's length—presumably where sailors rowed—and a spent lantern dangled from the ceiling. Closer to the stern was another hatch leading below, plus a single door. After seeing Gaius fiddle with the hatch, he chose to investigate the latter.

He applied gentle force on the wooden door, its rusted hinges screeching as it swung wide to reveal a dark, windowless room. His tail fire sent pulses of life all around as he entered. Heaps of papers and writing material lay in disorder atop a desk, while even more were scattered about the floor. Across the room stood a simple yet impressive bed—how comfortable the mattress must have been!— with a mattress that looked enticingly comfortable just from its appearance and two finely carved wooden chairs.

He immediately deduced this to be the captain's room. Despite being just barely larger than their tent back at Camp Tempest, he found deep inside him a yearning to lie on that soft bed and call this ship home. The mere presence of solid walls helped him feel protected. Definitely more than feeble tent fabric. And, the furniture! His eyes remained transfixed on the bed. To sleep on anything other than damp hay seemed to him like an alien reality, one confined to fictitious tales of royalty.

- The Mare Nostrum abruptly lurches up a good two meters with the sea, making Flame clutch his stomach and turn an unhealthy shade of green -
Flame: “Okay, nevermind. I’ll pass on calling this ship home unless we can think of a way of running it aground.” @.@

The excitement flowing through his veins acted on his behalf: if he couldn't bring this bedding home, then he deserved to at least experience how it felt.

Slowly, as though celebrating a ceremony, he lowered himself onto the white bedding. Just as his rear sank into the soft mattress, his scales were greeted with sensations of velvety softness. In some ways, he likened the sensation to that of floating centimetres off the ground, and his face instinctively morphed automatically into a smile.

Nothing stopped him from laying his back and head against the mattress as well. The bedding caressed and stroked his scales gently. Half of him wished to retreat drift off to sleep right at that moment. Could any place feel more homely? However, he noticed with alarm that each moment spent on that bed drew an unjustified fatigue to his muscles. Perhaps it was not wise to fall asleep, though undeniably tempting.

I mean, I would suppose that lying down while jostling about with the waves probably is a bit more comfy. Unless the sea is supposed to have settled down as Team Phalanx made their way below deck. If the latter is the case, you probably want to make that explicit in the narration.

Man, I really wish I could bring this home, he stretched his arms wide. It would make sleeping so much better…

Much to his own disappointment, he forced himself to stand up, though not before loitering briefly to steal every last fleeting moment on that bed. Once fully standing, he looked back one last time—as though mourning the loss of some dear friend.

Perhaps one day, if the gods bestowed mercy upon them, Team Phalanx would be able to afford decent bedding. Yes, that thought was reassuring. It carried hope. It carried newfound motivation to continue the struggle.

It’ll only take a little over 15 chapters and forcing a teammate to relive major childhood traumas, but hey, Flame did manage to pull that bedding wish off. :V

Flame then turned his attention to the desk. He quickly scoured every surface and drawer for any items of interest: money, food, orbs. Unfortunately, the top of the desk hid nothing more than worthless papers and writing material. Thus, he opened each individual drawer. Inside one was a small stack of six or seven coins amounting roughly to ten thousand poké; if his memory served him right, not quite enough to buy a single loaf of bread.

Flame: “Yeesh, no wonder why they pay Legionaries in rations if military types are this cash-poor.” .-.

Remembering once again that he lacked a bag of his own, and that there was none was to be found inside this room, he opted to simply hold the coins in his fist for the moment.

It was then that he noticed a booklet amongst the mess covering the desk. It was closed, and positioned in front of the chair, as though having it had been used recently. He leaned closer to make out the words engraved on its cover:

Mare Nostrum II: Captain's Logbook.

Flame: “What on earth is a ‘Mare Nostrum’?”
401085511176814613.png

- Cue a voice calling up from the deck -
Alice: “It means ‘Our Sea’! It’s what we call the sea that we live around, pretty sure that it’s synonymous with ‘Mediterranean’-”
Gaius: “For crying out loud, Alice! Knock it off with the amateur linguist lecture and help me look for stuff to nick here!”

Curiosity set in, but it was soon replaced by a most important realisation: this logbook could have contained information regarding what happened to the crew! Flame took a seat in the chair within seconds, letting his tail hang by the side. He opened the booklet at a random point, and skimmed over key words in various entries. Most consisted of uninteresting technical details, or planned navigation paths. He skipped a few dozen pages and read again. Each entry was sorted by year—ah! Something caught his eye at once. With interest, he began reading:

500 AUC

On this morning of January 12th, an anomalous explosion manifested occurred in the sky above the Lipari Archipelago (05:13). The ensuing flash briefly turned the night sky into day and was witnessed by sailors aboard the Mare Nostrum, approximately 220 kilometres away. Damage to hearing has been reported as far away as Agia Marina, with casualties occurring from collapsed houses all along the coast.

>500 AUC
>245 years ago

So how many times has this ship been rebuilt anyways? Since I’m pretty sure the historical service life of a galley in this style (minus the cladding which is its own, anachronistic thing) was about 20 years. Why, if this is literally the same ship in the logbook, it has a solid contender for being called the Theseus for the amount of materials replacement that would need to be undertaken to keep it afloat all those years.
:loltias:


- Gaius pokes his head in from outside the room -
Gaius: “I’m sorry, when was all of that written again?”
Flame: “... 245 years ago?”
Gaius: “I… what? But I don’t- Wh-What else is in that thing?"
401076862924750848.png


Rescue teams landing near the epicentre at Vulcano Isle seven hours after the anomalous event allege report coming under attack by unidentified beings, as well as seeing a 'large, spiralling rift' in the open sky.

Unfortunately, I am left with few choices in my hands. No contact has been established yet with residents of the Lipari Archipelago, and communications with Urbe are limited so long as the XXIV Fleet remains at sea. Weather has not allowed our messenger bird to gather more information. In a normal situation I would dismiss such outlandish tales, but the nature of the event leaves me fearful. I have ordered all active ships to set sail for the epicentre, and prepare to embark survivors.[/I]

Admiral Marius Feraligatr, XXIV Imperial Fleet.

Gaius: “Wh-What in the-?” ._.
Flame: “So… I take it that none of that is stuff that normally happens around here?”
Gaius: “Gee, what do you think?!”
401076862924750848.png


Flame hummed loudly as he finished reading the entry. Wind howled faintly outside. Perhaps he shouldn't have been wasting time reading such old entries, but the situation intrigued him to no end. Thus, he turned the page and located the following note. He continued reading:

503 AUC

Two civilian fishing vessels have been seized today, and their crews arrested for violating the Imperial moratorium on navigation within 100 kilometres of Vulcano Isle. Psychic probes show that none have witnessed divine activity, thus their memories are to be spared until further instructions.

His Majesty has once again reminded the High Council that Our Benefactors work as equals to the Crown to enlighten our society, and do not wish to be disturbed.

(What has happened to this world? I guess I should trust His words above all else. But I can't bring myself to not worry. To forget. Hell, I can't shake those flying beasts off my nightmares after three full years.)


Admiral Marius Feraligatr, XXIV Imperial Fleet.

>Honorius came to power within 3 years after the Presence’s arrival
>with society getting shaken up enough that terminology that would presumably be ultra-socially awkward prior to its arrival becoming mainstream

That’s one hell of a deal with the devil that Honorius pulled off there.

It took him but a few moments to fully absorb what he'd just read. Most of the events narrated lacked historical context, and served only to further confuse him. Besides, Alice had only just begun explaining ancient history to him in the scraps of spare time at their disposal.

He shook any extraneous thoughts out of his head. Stop getting carried away, Flame. You have a mission to complete.

Turning more pages, he searched for the last entry. It dated back approximately two days ago. A sweeping glance revealed only mundane information about cargo unloaded to Portus, bureaucratic instructions, and—

Flame: “... Wait a minute, how on earth has this logbook remained usable after 245 years of exposure to the elements and constantly being used by various captains?” ._.;
Gaius: “That’s what you’re worried about right now?!”
401076862924750848.png


The mundane writing ended abruptly mid-page. Afterwards, the pages were blank. He turned page after page, not finding anything until he noticed something scribbled on the inside of the logbook's cover:

After a lifetime of impeccable service the Mare Nostrum will have to be abandoned by her crew, but it took the umpteenth storm for us to be separated.

Once those civilians are brought to safety, I'll tell them of our adventures together. Goodbye, old friend.


Flame read the note again, his eyes going back to the same word. 'Storm'. Such an ambiguous word to use! One could have meant a normal storm, but in that case why gather all survivors and evacuate? Though he hadn't seen any sign of a portal storm—he still remembered his close encounter with one vividly—there was a valid case for alarm.

Gaius: “... Uh yeah, I’m just gonna pretend that I didn’t see any of that and go and try and find something to drink.”
401076862924750848.png

Flame: “I… don’t think that it’s gonna be that simple, Gaius.”
:uhhh:


After reading the note once more to memorise it exactly, he hopped off the chair and left the room, leaving the logbook in its rightful place. The hatch leading to the deck below was open. Thumps from objects being thrown about resonated rang out from inside.

"Gaius?"

He hopped down and descended a few steps, lowering his head to avoid bumping onto the ceiling. Then, he held his tail out in front of him to shed light into the windowless room. The stacks of dusty boxes present all over made him think this was a cargo bay of sorts.

And there was Gaius: sitting on top of a box, drinking heartily from a glass bottle in his paws. The Grovyle then noticed his teammate's presence, and swallowed one last sip before looking Flame dead in the eye.

"Oh. You're done. Found anything?"

Flame: “... How on earth did you find that booze that quickly?” >.<
Gaius: “One, I canonically wasn’t with you and that freaky logbook. Two, I just have a nose for these things.”

Flame failed to hold back a grimace. The sight of alcohol brought unpleasant memories to mind, those of their bar fight. A bitter flavour coated his tongue.

"For Mew's tail, Gaius, do you have to?"

"What?" the Grovyle crossed his arms. "I'm not paying a dime this time. That oughta make you happy. Now, let me have some fun, will you?"

He bit his tongue, not knowing how to react. "O-okay. It's just … is this a habit for you?"

Gaius took another sip, shrugging. "Eh, sort of. Our finances don't really help, but it's something I enjoy doing whenever a chance presents itself. Like now," he put the bottle in his paws down, then opened his bag to reveal another one. "Just look at this. What kind of blockhead would leave perfectly good booze down here? A southerner, that's who."

Flame: “Do I want to know how you got this hooked to the sauce, Gaius?” >_>;
- Gaius stiffens up a bit, before giving a dark scowl back -
Gaius: “No. And if you did, you’d be less of a judgemental asshole about it! Besides, after getting a glimpse of that journal, I honestly use a damn drink!"

Another knot tied Flame's stomach. Although his gut told him to rip that bottle out of the bag and smash it to pieces, no real damage was being done except possibly to the Grovyle's own health. Besides, he couldn't quite go down there and force his will through violence.

That’s a really bold assumption there given that Gaius has and continues to be more than a little bit of an angry drunk in this story, Flame. :V

"Fine." he shut his eyes and heaved. "As long as you're clear-headed enough for the mission, then fine. Just don't throw our money away."

Gaius paused. His gaze became more serious, almost emotionless. "I know."

Flame climbed back out of the hatch, keeping his tail out to illuminate the steps. "Come on, we need to regroup. I think I know what happened to everyone. And it could be bad. Really bad."

An affirmative grunt came from the cargo bay, and soon the two of them ascended back to the top deck, where they saw Alice stand by the railing, wholly concentrated in the distant horizon.

"… Guys?" she said in a distant tone. "Do you remember the sky being so dark before?"

Flame + Gaius: “...”
:uhhh:

Alice: “... Why are you two looking like that?” ._.;

Huh? It was then, as after he looked out in the same direction, that he noticed all was not right in the skies above. The sun seemed to have disappeared almost completely disappeared—as though blocked out by a thick barrier of fog. What few clouds had existed peacefully not long before had now bred to the multiplied into dozens, with broody, tar-black shadows cumulating in accumulating over the open seas. Even more worryingly, the few patches of sky left visible were coloured an unmistakable orange, a shade more reminiscent of sunset than high noon.

"It can't possibly be dusk already," she said. "Just a few hours ago, when we reached that canal, it wasn't nearly this bad."

A lump formed in his throat. The storm predicted by the captain's diary was indeed happening. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he hoped it would bring rain, and nothing further.

SPOILER_Et_Semper_Deturbo.png


All:
:uhhh:
:uhhh:
:uhhh:


"Guys, I think I found out what happened to the survivors," he said. That got their attention. "I-I found it in the captain's diary. He basically said that a 'storm' was coming, and as such he had to abandon the ship and evacuate civilians."

Flame: “Er… in retrospect, the captain probably should’ve just had the civilians come aboard since the ship’s still around right now. And as for everyone else…” o_o;
Alice: “To be fair, the ship literally could’ve survived from a lucky break. I wouldn’t exactly want to take my chances with a Portal Storm in this thing with how much it’s bouncing around just from being moored.” ._.

Alice nodded, and then looked out overboard again. "I see. That would explain a lot. Gaius, do you think…?"

Gaius nodded, pupils dilated to a slit. "No idea. We've seen enough portal storms in the years. You know that there's maybe thirty minutes at most to prepare after the first signs. Right now, I can't be sure."

"That captain must have felt fairly certain of himself to abandon his ship like this. Even if it is a simple thunderstorm, I'd feel safer once we're away from the coast."

Flame swallowed out of reflex. "L-let's just tell Archangel for now."

- Gaius looks up at the sky as an obvious portal storm forms -
Gaius: "Yeah, screw this, I'm just gonna finish this jug."
Flame: “(I thought you canonically sucked that dry already!)” >_>;
- Alice looks at Flame -
Alice: "Wait a minute. Flame, didn't you say that journal was hundreds of years old? Why are you acting like those journals were from yesterday?"
- Flame paws at back of head -
Flame: "Er... because it somehow has almost two and a half centuries of continuous logs in there? Also, because none of this is canon, and you never explained to me what 'AUC' meant in the actual story?"
- Alice sighs -
Alice: "It's a way for marking years that stands for 'Ab Urbe condita'. Or 'since the founding of Urbe'. Though it would really help if you actually knew this in canon." -_-;
Flame: "Somehow I doubt it'd help that much right now. Let's just get everybody out of here before we get sucked away and dumped on another planet or something."

"Copy that, Team Phalanx," Archangel's voice streamed through the communications badge, "A flying squadron has been sent to verify your intel. What Where is your location?"

Flame turned around, his eyes attracted to the darkness encroaching what he assumed to be the harbour. The sea was, by now, well outside of visual range, replaced instead with the streaming ruins of Portus. He figured they were in the heart of the city, by now. Even if it went against their dispatcher's orders, they'd all agreed to reach the city outskirts and await visual confirmation that there was no threat.

Gaius stopped walking for a moment, leaning closer into the device. "Currently heading down the Via Magistra, sir. We're not taking any chances. No survivors were found in the harbour area. There's—"

The Grovyle said something, but his voice was vastly overshadowed when an ear-shattering roar exploded from the cloud mass, even causing the earth to tremble briefly.

Gaius: “... I should’ve looked for another jug of wine on the way out, since I’m so not drunk enough for this moment right now.”
401076862924750848.png

Flame: “(Well, guess that’s one way to figure out one of the reasons why he drinks.)” ._.;

The three of them merely stood in place for a few, unending moments, eyes wide, staring at the sky behind them much like one would a feral beast ready to pounce. In fact, the clouds had now assumed an almost purple hue, and the wind did sound like a distant howl buffeting their ears.

Gaius clenched the badge in his paws tighter. "S-sir, I'll ask you again: are you positive that isn't a portal storm we're looking at?"

[ ]

"Uh … Negative. Legionary psychics are analysing the storm as we speak. Retreat to a safe distance until the all-clear is given. Out."

Okay, this bracket is technically optional, but it might work better in terms of a suspenseful vibe if Archangel leaves Gaius hanging for a few brief moments before speaking up.

Flame watched as his team leader once again pinned the device to his bag. Questions only piled up inside his head.

"If that's a portal storm, how far do we have to run to avoid its radius? W-will the camp be safe?"

"I believe so," Alice said. "Assuming the storm remains stationary, our camp should be at a safe enough distance. The question is if we can get there in time."

I’m actually surprised that the team didn’t panic a bit more after Alice brought up “well, Camp Horizon ought to be safe” given… yeah, it took them quite a while to go the other direction into Portus, and even if it becomes moot later, that doesn’t portend well for their ability to go the other way around when they’d have to climb a narrow path up a plateau.

Flame: “I mean, it took us multiple hours to get here, Gaius said we’ve got at most 30 minutes to work with to get out of dodge. So just how screwed are we right now?” O_O;
Alice: “M-Maybe the commanders will organize an airlift for us?”
:uhhh:

Gaius: “You do realize we’re talking about the task force that Ariel runs, right?”
401076862924750848.png


Gaius huffed, and sprung forward at startling speed. "Standing around won't help. Expedite!"

Both him and Alice rushed in tow, but matching the gecko's innate agility was a quickly proved to be an impossible feat simultaneously and just attempting to keep pace proved strenuous and impossible. Fuelled by the possibility threat of impending danger pursuing them, they pushed their bodies to the maximum speeds they could handle, weaving through blocked streets and alleyways, never slowing down. The reduction in sunlight was making itself felt The fading sunlight was growing ever more obvious: a blanket of shadows was cast over the area, and making out small obstacles became that much harder increasingly hard without being close to his bodily light.

However, just as they entered a large street, a bright flash coming from up ahead forced them to stop.

Flame blinked the light spots out of his vision, then squinted his eyes to make out where the flash had originated from. There! Not three hundred metres ahead, he could just make out various figures lashing out against one another. Another two lay motionless on the nearby floor. Judging by the shouts and grunts of pain, combat of some kind was clearly taking place. Two pokémon in particular were being targeted by the rest with attack after attack, with hardly any time to counter.

Flame: “Uh… yeah, I think we might wanna consider just digging a hole and hiding in it at this rate.”
:uhhh:


"What the hell?" Gaius mumbled.

Another flash flooded the street, just as lightning arched from one pokémon, which he now recognised to be a Manectric. The quadruped wolf's attack engulfed the opposing creature—a Quilava—who shrieked loud enough to make Team Phalanx flinch. Then, it fell to the ground, unresponding unresponsive.

- Meanwhile in another world, another Quilava snaps back to attention with a sharp yelp -
Kate: “The hell’s gotten into you, Lyle?! In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve kinda picked a bad moment to zone out in!”
Lyle: “Sorry! Sorry! For a second I thought that I just got wrecked in an ambush by some damned mutt.”
Kate: “(Oh boy, we're getting into these cross-story gags now?) Anyway, about that…” -_-;
- Kate points back at a Dawn Lycanroc approaching growling and snarling as the events of OaT #3 play out in the background -
Lyle: “Ach, Schei-
909223973412290560.png


Part of me finds it darkly hilarious that I’m reviewing this chapter right on the heels of writing one that’s basically an unintentional “for want of a nail” of a fairly similar scenario. Being a protagonist and getting a dash of plot armor tends to help your odds though. :V

The fallen pokémon's companion, clearly outnumbered, opted to leg it down a small alleyway. The group of attackers shouted something to each other, but none seemed to form coherent words, replaced instead by a throaty, harsh mesh of consonants.

"Those sounds—it's…" Alice gasped.

"Hide!" whispered Gaius sharply, nigh diving behind a pile of rubble, and pulling Flame and Alice with him.

Acting on instinct, Flame wrapped his claws round his tail fire, and suppressed his breath in order to dim its crackling liveliness lively glow. Even then, his claws leaked a noticeable amount of light. He silently cursed his biology.

Gaius peeked his head for an instant, then went back behind cover. "Bloody hell, they're Scum! Five of 'em. And those other two must have been our guys. How the fuck did no one notice them?!"

Flame: “... Because I’m pretty sure they literally just teleported in from that description?”
- Beat moment -
Gaius: “Oh. Right. They can do that.
401076862924750848.png

Flame: "Though is that mess of a language they're speaking? It sounds like rocks in a tumbler."
Alice: "Shh! Keep it down and find someplace to hide!"

"Doesn't matter," Alice narrowed her eyes. "We could still be in critical danger if we do not exit the city immediately. Do you see a way around?"

Flame peeked simultaneously with his leader. The five figures had now shrank to three, presumably to chase the fugitive officer. A dirt-furred Zangoose rummaged through the fallen Quilava's bag, appraising its content one object at a time. The Quilava was still breathing, though in pain. He could see its chest rise and fall ever so slightly.

"Flame? What do you see?" Alice whispered.

He shook his head. "Nothing. One option would be to backtrack, but that means walking into the open."

TFA!Quilava: “H-Help me…”
Alice: “That… doesn’t sound like nothing, Flame.” ._.;
Flame: “Nothing that’s relevant to us staying in one piece, okay? Look, if we survive through the next two minutes, I’m sure we’ll get a chance to go for him. How hard is it to remember one ‘mon 30 meters away from us?”

Gaius contemplated his leaf blades. "They've split up. If we hit now, they'll never see it coming. Should leave us enough time to make a run for it."

Alice narrowed her eyes. "Are you mental? There is no time to fight! You can't—"

Flame: “You know, this would’ve been a good time to have a Totter Orb or the like on standby.” >_>;
Gaius: “You know, we’re busy being broke and didn’t come across one in the rubble earlier!” >.<

Gaius lay his back against the rubble and unpinned the communications badge from his bag, keeping it close to his mouth.

"Archangel, this is Team Phalanx," the Grovyle whispered. "Be advised, hostile forces are present in town. I repeat, there are hostiles in the area. Requesting permission to engage."

The response was prompt, and frighteningly loud. "Team Phalanx, stand down! Do not engage!"

Team Phalanx remained as stiff as statues. Their eyes felt on the verge of popping out of their sockets. The voice had echoed far, much farther than they'd anticipated. Silence ensued when even the group of Scum stopped talking. Though he dared not peek out of his hiding place, he could feel three pair of eyes burrowing through the stone and onto his scales.

Alice: “Could Archangel have said that any louder?
Flame: “M-Maybe they didn’t hear it?”
Scum!Tangrowth: “Kamerad Voltenso, hörst du was?
Scum!Manectric: “Ja, vier Stimmen. Kollaborateure. Jenseits der Schutt.
Gaius: “... I’m pretty sure I can hear that Manectric growling on the other side of the rubble, so I’m pretty sure we’re beyond screwed right now.”

When another message erupted from the badge, Gaius scrambled to suppress the sounds with his body, but to no avail.

"All callsigns, we have a confirmed portal storm forming over the old harbour. Fall back and find shelter immediately. I say again, fall back!"

Flame felt his heart skip a beat. His paws gripped whatever was closest, which turned out to be a pile of plaster dust. Holding his breath any longer became impossible, lest his body lose consciousness right then and there. Their deepest fears had come true. All of Portus would soon be engulfed by darkness, and here they were, cowering like prey. Trapped.

Gaius: "Gah! Doesn't this thing have a volume setting?!"
Flame: "Oh yeah, this couldn’t possibly be going any worse for us right now."
:uhhh:

Scum!Manectric: “... Kamerad Sengo, geh und sieh dich um.
Alice: “I’m pretty sure that you just jinxed us there, Flame.” O.O;

"Grrrr…"

He turned to the sound. There the Zangoose stood, towering over his prone form, eyes boring a hole into his. The thing's claws were even sharper than its teeth. Its fur was ruffled and dirty with mud. A sweaty stench weighed the air.

"Uh … hi?" Flame blurted out, wearing a tentative grin.

The Zangoose lunged.

Daedalus really should’ve considered distributing a physical description of [Our -------] for the rank and file considering how many times they almost accidentally killed him off by accident thinking he was just another grunt of Urbe’s over the next 6 chapters.
:fearfullaugh:


Team Phalanx:
770125468800122880.png

Flame: “God, what a place to leave off on.”
Gaius: “Well, there’s a teaser for the next chapter, so you’re not dead yet.”

Speaking of which, let’s take a gander at the aforementioned teaser, hm?

"… While generally satisfied with His Imperial Majesty's servitude, Our Benefactors have expressed their displeasure at the unfortunate fact that the general populace continues to worship the Primeval Lords, especially after those very heresies have been proven redundant in the cleansing fire of Their power. The Commission is currently debating how to effectively inform the populace of the Primeval Lords' demise. However, so far it has proven challenging to find a method that would avoid uprisings amongst rural communities, many of whom have relied on the ancient cult for generations."

Imperial Commission of Divine Affairs, Report #165 – Vulcano Isle.

Flame: "Wait, did that report just imply that those 'Benefactors' killed off the gods here?" ._.
Gaius: "I mean, if they did. I'd suppose it'd explain why nobody seems to bother answering to any prayers."
Alice: "That bit about 'His Imperial Majesty's servitude' is really worrying me. Is this talking about the present day? Just how much control do they have over the Emperor if that's true?"

Alright, my overall thoughts: This version of Chapter XII’s definitely a bit stronger than I remembered it back in the day, and there’s definitely less for me to banter about through Gaius playing backseat tactician this time around. Still found a couple things to poke holes in logically, though most of them can be justified from the lolworthy competence on display by the two ‘mons running this operation doing their damndest to channel Quintus Servilius Caepio and Gnaeus Mallius Maximus in live-time.

There’s some bits that could be smoothed out, especially relating to Alice’s exposition of the backstory of the portal storms and Scum invasions, but all-in-all, I thought that the chapter held up quite well, and it’s a rare glimpse for PMD stories in general as to what disaster response looks like. Also, a lot of this chapter reads very differently after getting a fuller picture of the way things are from later on in the story. I have to wonder how much of all this was pre-planned, since if my memory serves me right, this was around the time when you started firmly nailing down the direction you wanted to take the story in.

Kudos @Shadow of Antioch , and I’ll be looking forward to your next bump this coming weekend. As well as throwing you a few other reviews your way during Review Blitz.
 
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Ambyssin

Gotta go back. Back to the past.
Location
Residency hell
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. silvally-dragon
  2. necrozma-ultra
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. dreepy
  6. mewtwo-ambyssin
Merry Blitzmas
Disclaimer: This is mostly stream-of-consciousness thoughts. Take it as you will.
Also, the review’s in spoilers, since you haven’t posted these chapters to TR yet. :V

26
-It’s a positive note that so few survived? At least they’re saying the quiet part out loud.
-Gaius doesn’t want to be bought a drink? Finally admitting he has a problem, eh?
-So, it seems like this new city, aside from being in a valley, is also well fortified courtesy of nature. It seems as though you’re describing architecture that’s built into cliffs and ravines, I think?
-None of them thought to come up with a good asylum story when they supposedly needed days to reach the new city? I know they have a tendency not to think things through, but you think they would’ve at least planned for this much.
-And lmao they’re let through without much trouble. Perhaps this is the difference between borders in Europe and the US’s borders. [nervous laugh]
-Also, at the narrator’s mention of a day’s march, I now find myself confused by the timetable. You mean to tell me they escaped Sycorax and made their way to the city all in roughly a day? That seems… off. And too quick. Because when Flame was worrying about the guards, he brought up multiple days of travel. I suppose he could be counting his time with Daedalus, but I still think the timetable needs to be cleared up.
-Seeing Team Phalanx realize they were getting ushered to a refugee camp and their conditions would be just like what they left behind got a laugh out of me. Sort of dark humor mixed with poetic irony. It gets even juicier when Bisharp reveals they’re pretty much going back to their old jobs.
-Honestly, as soon as they gave their real names again (rather foolishly, I might add), I had a feeling things would go badly with Bisharp. You did get a nice little fake out with the transmission from Urbe, but I wish there’d been a bit more hinting about Bisharp knowing Alice and vice versa, so it didn’t feel as much like a big coincidence b/c the plot needed it to happen.

27
-Why does Alice call ‘em the Teutonii? I thought only Flame was doing that.
-“Many Aesirnian winters?” Hadn’t Alice only been there for two years? Or was that just her job there? Some of these timetables baffle me, admittedly.
-I think we needed to know it’d been five days since the ambush sometime sooner than the call with Daedalus.
-Otherwise, all I can say is THANK GOD Flame finally came to his senses and acted out of some sense of self-preservation. I thought it was good that he questioned the decision to go for the desert, but then the following scene has him irrationally thinking it’s the right thing to do until the badge conversation manages to knock the necessary sense into him. Like, the definition of insanity is trying the same thing and expecting things to change. The desert idea would’ve been a bust, I’m sure. And, for the sake of the plot, I’m glad he told Daedalus where to find him, because I don’t think I could take much more of Team Phalanx’s one step forward, two steps back trajectory.

28
-Wow, this was basically a chapter-long argument. There was some viscerality to it, particularly from Gaius b/c he swears like a sailor, but I’m glad that Flame’s continued to be assertive. The only thing I could’ve seen being added was Flame verbalizing some of those thoughts about how Alice’s lies have costed the team dearly, but clearly he still wants that dragonair tail given how much his heart soars when Alice says she still trusts him. (It’s also a pretty fast turnaround from his conflicted feelings last chapter, which is a tad bit suspicious, I’ll admit.)
-Ultimately, while I was pretty confident they’d both go with Flame since, y’know, that’d continue the fic, I do think it was the right move having them give in eventually. Maybe Alice realized the hypocrisy behind the argument, but we don’t know since Flame’s the POV character.
-I had a feeling that, with how badly Gaius spoke of the Teutonii, they’d killed his family or something else similar, so the ending bit didn’t surprise me for its content, but rather for how quickly it came up. I’d have expected it to be something the fic addressed once they got to… wherever their next destination is.

29
-Huh. Wasn’t expecting a time skip to… wherever they are. Think that should’ve been established in the opening. I, uh, also think it might’ve been better to really show Gaius’ full outburst instead of just telling us about it after the fact. Loses most of its impact the way it’s been done, in my opinion.
-Ayyy Daedalus calling out Flame’s lack of survival instinct. That’s quality content! I mean, I think you’re trying to set up a clash of ideals between Flame’s selflessness and Daedalus’... pragmatism. But he still has a point, Flame can be selfless without being a total doormat. And it felt like he was a doormat for almost 24 chapters.
-Also, I like how Flame doesn’t consider Brynn a friend when she’s been kinder to him in their short time together than Gaius has been toward him the entire fic. Great judge of character, he is.
-Swellow, nidoran, and druddigon? Hi, Team Traveler.
-So, like, the Teutonii are based on the Germanic and/or barbarian tribes that contributed to the fall of the Roman Empire? That’s the vibe I’m getting and I’m not sure how, uh, close to actual history you’re planning to play this fic. Maybe it’s the fact that people like Daedalus and Brynn have been shown in more sympathetic lights than, say, Gaius (and even Alice to some degree) that has me root for them over anyone else.
-Well, since Brynn brought up sawsbuck and clamperl meals, gotta ask if this is just predator/prey relations or if there are ferals with less sapience than the characters we know?
-Speaking of continued progress, thank goodness Alice finally admits to her shortcomings. It’s not, like, a full owning up to her past or anything, but it’s good she admitted her plan was doomed to fail. It was a good way to patch things up between them instead of dragging the argument on.

30
-I’m not sure if having Gaius sink back into his old vice makes him pitiable or easier to hate. The explanation he gives is so underwhelming that, combined with the drinking, it gives off “unreliable narrator” flags, but I guess the following scene with Daedalus suggests it’s the truth and they perished in the fight. Doesn’t explain what happened to the sister, though. For another time, perhaps?
-It does feel nice to see Flame admit he’d deluded himself into thinking Gaius was his friend. It’s fine for him to want to keep the grovyle safe b/c he’s selfless like that. But things were looking almost like an abusive relationship b/w the two before now.
-Daedalus’ explanation about this war sounds like some of the apocalyptic stuff you tend to see in plenty of PMD fics, mine included. I’m not one hundred percent sure I buy that explanation, just because I think you’ve so far been trying to write Daedalus as a morally gray character and make it unclear if he and his people are really in the right with this conflict. Though, of course, given what we’ve seen of the Empire has been… unflattering, to say the least, I lean toward rooting for them.
-I’m withholding judgement on Gaius for now. I’ve seen people comment these past few chapters have really turned his character around, but he’s just gone from an asshole to someone in a vengeful trauma spiral. So, I’ll have to wait and see what happens.

Overall, though, these chapters fixed a lot of my gripes with the fic to this point. Well done!
 

windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partners
  1. sneasel-nip
  2. bidoof
  3. absol
  4. kirlia
  5. windskull-bidoof
  6. little-guy-windskull
  7. purugly
  8. mawile
  9. manectric
Hey Shadow. I took a look at your first three chapters, and thought I’d drop a quick review with my impressions so far.

I think you've done an excellent job of showing off your tone quickly, so that the reader kind of knows what to expect. Between actions that imply a world where it can be hard to get by, the little tidbits we get about the state of the world as a whole, the vibe of things that happen in the mystery dungeon, and even word choice, everything leads to a setting that feels like a dark epic fantasy.

All three of your main characters feel very distinct. Gaius has a bit of a cold and calculating personality his early impressions make it feel like he’s always looking to gain something for himself. He feels selfish, but selfish in the way that he’s concerned with his well being and survival over others. His resentment of southerners feels like he may have been wronged by one - or more - in the past. I suspect that we’ll find out more about that at some point in the future.

Alice has a softer personality that balances Gaius out. I think that's a good thing. If they were really similar, I feel like it would have led to an exhausting reading experience. I really like her more caring personality though, because it gives a little bit of a beacon of goodness in an otherwise rather dark world.

What I find interesting about Flame is just how paranoid and anxious he is. He always lets his mind run amok and it comes to the worst possible conclusions. It’s something I haven't seen in a in a main character in a while. And honestly, I’m here for it.

Since I only stopped at chapter 3, I don’t have much of an idea of where the story overall is going to go from here, so I’m going to focus on the micro and just speculate on the next chapter or two. I suspect Flame will be sticking with Gaius and Alice whether they succeed or fail. If they fail, Gaius has every reason to want to be rid of him thus far, but I feel like something will happen that makes him willing to give Flame a chance. If they succeed, however, I feel like it’ll prove that they need Flame, but he’s still not going to be happy about it.

One thing I am curious about, since I don’t think it was explained, was how Ariel found out that that Flame wasn’t one of the “scum” that Gaius and Alice were sent after, since Flame didn’t explain that to anyone. Did they already have a clue who they were after and recognize that Flame wasn’t one of them? Or did Ariel just have suspicion to go off of, and Team Phalanx caved under pressure?It’s not a big deal that it’s not brought up, but it did leave me scratching my head a little. (It’s also possible I missed something, to be fair. Since most of my reading is via tts.)

Overall, I think you’ve got a good setup, and I’m curious to see where this is going. I definitely plan to read more in the future. Until then.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Okay, so it was probably not the sanest idea in the world. But I managed to kick off 2022 by catching up with your version of your story here to get to the “one chapter behind” point that I’d been consciously aiming for… at least until your syndication bump rolls in sometime in the next 12-48 hours. :V

But you’ve got a beefy chapter for me to cover today, and I have no shortage of things to say about it. So let’s get straight into the nitty-gritty:

Chapter XIII

Within instants moments of the Zangoose lunging at him, Flame reacted felt his body react on its own out of pure instinct. His lungs contracted, and an impressive jet of fire streamed out of his mouth, engulfing the furry creature in mid-air.

Anguished screams were all he heard before he felt something crash into his prone form. All breath was abruptly squeezed out of him and his back erupted in pain pain erupted all along his back. He was pushed away by the impact, unable to do much other than lie on the ground in a confused daze.

Flame: “O-Ow, this battle’s going swimmingly already.” @.@

However, the adrenaline flowing through his veins swept all [complacency away] and beckoned him to get up. Now aware of his surroundings again, he scrambled to his feet, and looked to his side. The Zangoose was still laying on the ground, patches of its fur still alight, grunting in pain and making an effort to stand back up. No thought was required: he spewed another stream of flames, which merely drew further ear-ripping shrieks from the pained creature. Then—

He hadn't even withdrawn stopped his flames when the Zangoose inexplicably jumped at him, despite the indescribable pain it must have been experiencing. He stepped back, yet it was not enough to avoid the pair of claws slicing at his outer thigh. The hit both caused him to hiss in pain and hit the ground belly-up once again.

Something straddled his waist; sharp claw-tips prodded at his throat. With an adrenaline-fuelled grin, the Zangoose let out a deep, throaty growl driving more force behind its claws. Even in his panic, he knew it wouldn’t be long before Soon, panic told him, they would overpowered even the its protective layer of scales and lacerate his cut through the soft throat tissue to the core underneath. Every instinct screamed at him to fight back, yet the barbarian did not react no matter how fervently he clawed and slashed.

Boy, is it going to get awkward if anyone from this party survived the events of this chapter and Flame winds up bumping into them again considering what comes out about him in a few chapters.

Something about the bit about “complacency” in brackets doesn’t feel right to me, since that feels more “lazy” or “apathetic”. Not sure what I’d recommend as a replacement for it, though.

Scum!Zangoose: “Ha! Ich hab dich, du Hurensohn!
Flame: “Not that I shouldn’t be screaming my lungs out right about now, but why am I getting the weirdest sensation that I’m being mocked?” >_>;

The pressure was unbearable by now. He couldn’t tell it it was whether because of those claws, or because of panic, but his gasps for air amounted to naught weren’t filling his lungs anymore. There—he could feel it: his scales were beginning to give way.

Then, a green figure emerged from behind the Zangoose. Everything remained blurry, but Flame could hear grunts and choking sounds in the ensuing struggle. When his vision came back, the Zangoose's body lay twitching in Gaius' grip, a leaf blade impaled halfway through the creature's throat. Blood spurted from its wound and onto its white fur.

Flame: "... Wait, Gaius. If you snuck up from behind the Zangoose, why was your Leaf Blade stuck in its throat? Wouldn't your blades have been freed up faster if you just slit it?"
Gaius: "Flame, are you seriously nitpicking how I saved your sorry ass right now? Get up and do something useful here!"

Some trickled onto his very own chest. When he tried to swipe it away with his claws, it would not come off. Grimacing, and —admittedly—somewhat disconcerted from the crude brutal scene he'd just witnessed, Flame stood on wobbly feet, paw clutching the spots of pain still dotting his neck.

Gaius let go of the body, retracting his leaf blade from the body and letting it fall limp on the ground. His leaf blade still trickled profusely with the dark red liquid.

"Get moving, you goddamn slowpoke! We don't have time for this!" the Grovyle barked.

Flame: “Yeesh, not even an ‘are you okay’, Gaius?”
Gaius: “You’re alive, that’s okay enough. Now get moving!” >:(

Shaken out of his complacency, Flame dashed forth towards where they last spotted the remaining Scum last were. There, Alice was firing spitting up near-continuous ice beams from her snout mouth to keep the Manectric and the Tangrowth before her at bay. Though her constant harassing was proving successful, her movements were becoming visibly sluggish, laced with from fatigue. A sudden lightning bolt from the Manectric caught her unprepared. It was clear she would not hold them off for much longer.

Alice: “A-AGH!”
Scum!Manectric: “Mehr kannst du nicht machen, Kollaborateur?
796777569335771136.png

Flame: “Boy are we really, really fortunate that this thing doesn’t seem to know Discharge right now.”
Alice: “Stop commenting from the sidelines and help me already!” >.<

Flame rushed ahead into the fray; he breathed a small tongue of fire towards the unholy plant monster, hoping to steal its attention. His plan worked: the plant creature drew back recoiled in pain, and set its tiny eyes on him. A smirk briefly overtook his face. This would allow his team to focus on one target at a time, and, due to with numerical superiority, win.

... But would they make it out of the city? New dilemmas loomed in his mind. He didn’t have an answer to that. Fighting would surely take precious time—how, then, could one possibly hope to overcome these enemies and escape all the same?

youre_serious_futurama.gif


I mean, the plot armor helps, but that’s a really dangerous assumption to make given that for all Team Phalanx knew, those other two Scum would’ve overheard their buddies fighting and come back.

[He failed to notice his descent into deep thought until the Tangrowth swung one of its large arms in his direction.] Panicking, he clumsily dove out of the way, and was met with vines shooting out of its intricate grove. One of them wrapped round his ankle, while the other seized his wrist. He slashed the latter with his free paw, but the former slammed him into the ground. When the Tangrowth started dragging him along the ground, it was hit square above the eyes by a concentrated beam of ice, which froze a fair portion of its central vine tangle to a solid state. The Scum let out a garbled shriek.

Nearby, he saw that his teammates had momentarily dazed the bulky Manectric in similar fashion.

I’m not sure if it makes sense for Flame to have done into super deep thought in the middle of a life and death battle. Maybe it’d work better to say something like [“Flame failed to notice that he’d zoned out until the Tangrowth swung one of its large arms in his direction.”] but that’s just me.

Scum!Manectric: “A-Ach!
796777569499873310.png

Gaius: “... Shouldn’t we be pressing our advantage and cutting them down right about now?”
Alice: “Gaius, do you not see the blatant portal storm about to run us over? We’re not sticking around to fight this out if we don’t have to!” >_>;

Alice was breathing heavily. "Everyone, make a run for it!"

Flame wasn't entirely sure what happened in the following instants moments, other than the next conscious moment thing he knew, he was took taking off into the street ahead. He prayed to any and all deities that no brick or pile of rubble would crush his every bone. All around him amorphous buildings passed by in a blur—it became too mentally exhausting to focus on any one, he glued his eyes, as well as faith, on the Grovyle scampering away in front of him. At some point it started to become reasonable to doubt whether his feet were making contact with the ground any longer.

Flame: "Wait, are we sure we're not forgetting anything?"
- Cue weak protest in the distance -
Task Force!Quilava: "H-Hey wait! Help me out here! I'm not dead yet!"
Gaius: "What is this, day care for you? Move your damn legs, Flame!"
Alice: "I'm sure it's nothing important! Just keep running!"

Through the wind that buffeted his ears came a distinctly familiar crackle. He paid it no heed, but instead kept running. The sound neared—

Something akin to a spear of pure energy collided with his back. Within moments his muscles had locked into place—his body fell limp to the ground, rolling forward for a short distance out of sheer momentum. Once he finally lay still, he found his entire body unresponsive. His limbs twitched erratically every time static flared through them.

Though he could not move his neck, he heard someone halt by his side.

Scum!Manectric: “Komm sofort wieder her!
916605715316088852.png

Flame: “Oh god. P-Please tell me my teammates are nearby!”
:uhhh:


"Flame!" the voice belonged to Alice. "Flame, no! Are you all right?"

Her head peered at him from above, eyes overflowing with worry. He only somewhat managed to mumble a 'yes'. Her features softened, accompanied by a heave of relief. At once she turned the way they'd come from, positioning herself before his motionless body as though to shield him. The Manectric roared in the distance.

Flame + Alice:
:uhhh:

Alice: “W-Well this could certainly be going a lot better right now!” O.O
Flame: “Wait a minute, where’s Gaius anyways-?”

Another voice came from behind him; this one he identified as Gaius.

"Hey—are you out of your goddamn mind?!"

At that moment, he discovered he could rotate his neck enough to get a good view of Gaius. The Grovyle stood not too far away, having clearly just stopped running.

"What the fuck are you thinking, Alice?" Gaius screamed. "We'll never make it out!"

Flame: “Oh my god, Gaius, are you kidding me?!” >.<
Gaius: “Hey, sucks to be you with your paralysis. I’d like to not get sucked away into another dimension right now!”

The Dragonair did not so much as react, instead readying a beam of ice in her parted maw.

"Don't you see he's paralysed? It's no use!"

Gaius: "Are you telling me that you two minced off berry picking yesterday and you didn't find a single Cheri Berry that we could use right now?"
Alice: "Yes? Gaius, I can't control what bushes pop up on the side of the road!"
Flame: "Yeah, lay off! We're not exactly rich and we didn't have a chance to properly prepare while leaving Aesernia!"
Gaius: "And you two didn't filch one or trade with someone for one why?"
- Beat moment -
Flame: "Because we weren't expecting to need it?"
Alice: "Look Gaius, that Scum Manectric was right on our tail, so help me stand our ground here!"

The Dragonair fired, and a loud grunt confirmed the attack had connected successfully connected. She immediately prepared another.

"Alice! Alice! Stop what you're doing! We'll all die here!" Gaius ordered.

No response came. High above, storm clouds gathered round an enormous, spiralling blob that grew and grew to swallow more of the horizon. Wind whipped ever more violently against the puny creatures below.

Gaius: “Alice, seriously, just look up at the sky right now!” O.O
Alice: “Gaius, have you seriously never heard about the idiom of feeding ‘mons to a Krookodile to save oneself?! Help me out already!” >_>;

The Grovyle looked behind him frantically, then at the two of them, then behind him again. For a moment, his gaze lingered towards safety. His paws quivered visibly, and clasped into fists.

"Damn you…" Gaius growled, eyes shut. "You're mad! Fucking mad!"

With that, Gaius rushed back towards his teammates, leaf blades drawn.

Flame: "Wait, Gaius came back for us?"
- Cue distant shouting -
Task Force!Quilava: "H-Hey! If you're going back for him, come back for me too! I can barely move here!"
- Which gets lost in the sound of Gaius bracing for battle -
Gaius: "Look, don't get any mushy ideas. If you two bite it here, I'm completely screwed since I didn't exactly have a ton of luck recruiting before Alice came along!"
- Flame roll eyes -
Flame: "Gee, I wonder why you had a problem finding teammates." >_>;

The wave after wave of shouting only served to confuse Flame further. He tried not to freak out internally panic over the immobility of his body’s immobility. Concentrating, he mentally ordered himself to raise his arm—something that shouldn't have even needed to have been been conscious. To his surprise, it stirred in part, yet he was unable to lift it off the ground. Motor functions were gradually returning to him, at least. But how positive could that be if all it did was prolong their escape?

A feral roar shook the three of them [out of their complacency]. The Manectric was running at frightening speed, even while limping due to from the visible frostbite on its foreleg caused by continuous ice attacks.

After revisiting this chapter in light of being current with the story, I actually can’t tell whether that Manectric was just super persistent about trying to hunt down Team Phalanx out of spite over Kamerad Sengo, or if it put two and two together that Flame wasn’t just a normal Urbe grunt.

Yeah, same issue here regarding “out of their complacency” since it doesn’t quite work in context. Maybe something like “back to attention” fits better?

Scum!Manectric: “Verdammte Kollaborateure! Sprich deine Gebete!
916605715316088852.png

Gaius: “Holy crap, does that thing ever give up?”
:grohno:

Alice: “Given that it’s charging at us alone, I’m starting to think it knows Discharge after all.”
:uhhh:

Flame: “Oh for crying out loud, just shut up and attack it already!” O.O

Alice held her ground; Gaius crouched down and growled threateningly; Flame, able only to raise himself on his elbows, prepared a flamethrower in his throat.

Yet And then something appeared behind the Scum.

What appeared to be a blur in the sky quickly assumed the form of a fully-fledged bird pokémon. No—there were many more behind it! Everything happened far too quickly for them to fully process: the leading Staraptor swooped down in an airborne assault and surrounded itself with white energy, before colliding at impressive speed with its target.

The Manectric was thrown aside like a sack of meat. It landed in a pile of rubble, whereupon it writhed, snarled, but made no attempts to rise again.

Scum!Manectric: “A-Autsch.
916605822195363880.png

Flame: “Er… maybe that was overdoing it a bit-” ._.;
Gaius: “Oh for gods’ sake, Flame! The ‘mon was about to deep fry us! Learn to be pickier about who you have empathy for!” >.<
Flame: “But it had those funny emotes and-”
Alice: “None of those were canon, so it shouldn’t impact your judgement. Let’s just get you unparalyzed and get out of here!”

Flame held his breath. He could not fathom what had he didn’t know what just happened. Where did these birds come from? Not being able to move only helped him feel defenceless, and there were few sensations he hated more.

Team Phalanx stood speechless as the Staraptor flapped to a halt in the middle of the road. More fliers appeared in the area above, some circling, some perching on top of ruins to keep watch. The Staraptor wasted no time in walking over to the three of them, a proud smirk stamped on his beak.

"Comrades. You're Task Force Aegis, correct?" he pointed a wing to their badges. "My squadron spotted you while en route to base. Are you hurt?"

Gaius: "What. The. Hell. The aerial detachment shows up now when they could have told us what we were getting into before entering this gods-forsaken pile of rubble?!"
Alice: “I thought that it was established that we had poor visibility entering Portus, so…”
Legionary!Staraptor: "Just saying, if we knew you'd have preferred getting deep fried by that Scum Manectric, we'd have kept flying-"
Flame: "No, no, it's okay! Don't mind him, we're thankful for your help, honest!" o_o;
Alice: "Also, you wouldn't happen to have a Cheri Berry, would you?"

The team shed some of their wariness and the tension embedded in their muscles. Hearing someone speak their language meant they were friendly, and right now, they needed all the help they could get.

youre_serious_futurama.gif


I mean, it’s better than the alternative right now, but that’s a bold statement to be making in a Rome-themed setting considering how common civil wars were among them back in the day.

Alice [took a liberatory breath]. "Our friend is paralysed. Th-thank you, sir."

Flame managed a small smile of gratitude.

The Staraptor then lowered his gaze to him. "How much of your body can you move?"

He attempted to push himself up on his elbows, but grunted when he found his back stiff and inelastic. "[Too little.]"

Alright, two nitpicks. One is that Alice’s thing probably works better more along the lines of a “sigh of relief” since something about a “liberatory breath” doesn’t feel quite right there. Also for Flame’s line, “Not much” or “Not enough (of it)” might have a bit more parallelism to the Staraptor’s question.

Also, something about this bit writ large feels like you could afford to describe some body language or the likes a bit more, but that’s just me.

The bird seemed captivated in thought for a moment, then removed the bag slung round his wing. Parting the flap with a talon, he rummaged through its contents, then leaned down and reemerged with a round, bright red cherry in its slightly parted beak.

Flame's eyes widened. Wait, he's not thinking of feeding it to me, is he?

One of the birds perched on the rooftops, a Pidgeot, fluttered down to ground level. "Sir, this is lunacy. We can't play medic here. That portal storm might send us all into the Distortion World at any moment!"

Yet, the Staraptor did not so much as flinch: he positioned himself above Flame, ready to release the berry straight into his mouth.

Ah, it’s this moment again.
822923369149890622.png


Flame: "Arceus, this is beyond humiliating." >///<
Gaius: "Flame, just eat the damn berry already so we can get out of here!"

Oh, Arceus, he is…

He could already feel heat rising in his cheeks at the knowledge that his teammates would be there to witness, but he hardly possessed a choice right now. Thus, he let the berry drop into his mouth and swallowed, trying his best to ignore thoughts of extraneous saliva. To his surprise, it tasted very spicy. And evidently he must have liked spicy food in the past. A lot. He wondered if asking for another one would be seen as inappropriate.

inb4 it turns out that Flame was raised by Altaria or something back in the day. Since he sure took surprisingly well to being fed like a baby bird. :V

Flame: “Sir, could I have ano-?”
Gaius: “Hey, keep it up, Flame and maybe that Staraptor will fledge you at that rate!”
822923369149890622.png

Flame: “... You know what, nevermind. Also, pretty sure we have a portal storm to outrun.” >///<

The healing effects acted immediately: not ten seconds had passed before he felt a tingly sensation arise in his gut. It felt peculiar, like an army of tiny bubbles popping again and again just beneath his scales. Soon it spread to his arms and legs and tail, which flared greatly in heat. The juxtaposition of differing sensations left an Flame amused but simultaneously perturbed Charmeleon resting as he rested on the ground.

He then realised he could move again. It was disorienting to shift his still somewhat-stiff muscles while the tingly sensation lingered, but the sight of the swelling storm up above wiped such thoughts from him. Flame stood and flexed his claws individually.

"I … I can move again," he lifted his gaze to the Staraptor, smiling widely. "Thank you. By the way, what's that berry called?"

The bird said something in response, yet it was not heard as a deafening roar enveloped the land, just as wind threatened to blow them away.

Flame: “Er… I’m sorry what was that berry name again?”
Legionary!Pidgeot: “That’s a ‘get off your scaly ass and start running already’ berry!” >v<

All heads turned to the growing mass hovering over the harbour. It was seized by a spasm of sorts, sending tendrils of darkness out from the central rift. He could have sworn houses and debris were being ripped up and sucked inside.

Alice flinched physically, growing visibly uncomfortable. "S-sir, we truly appreciate what you've done, but—"

"We gotta go," completed Gaius, turning towards the open street.

The Staraptor smirked, not a trace of worry present on its face. "On foot? Nonsense. You'd meet Giratina before ever seeing our camp." it patted a wing on its back. "Hop on, comrades. No one gets left behind!"

Except, you know, the other several hundred members of Task Force Aegis that can’t physically ride along with these guys.
:fearfullaugh:


- Meanwhile in the background, a figure can be seen getting sucked flailing into the portal storm -
Task Force!Quilava: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- And vanishes into the abyss -
Staraptor: "... Well, except that guy. But can't win them all."
Flame: "See, I knew we were forgetting something!"

Flame was speechless. "Wait, y-you want us to fly?"

He wasn't quite sure how to react. Never before had he entertained the idea of flying in existing memory. Part of him quivered in horror, but another part tried to reason: his species' final form was indeed capable of flight, so perhaps he might grow accustomed. To be so far above the ground, hanging for dear life while the wind scraped his scales… Was he going to be flying for minutes? Hours?

Legionary!Staraptor: “Well, it’s not hours otherwise we’re all gonna die.”
Flame: “L-Look, I’d be a bit more reassured if you had safety loops or something for me to grab onto if you had to suddenly tilt at a steep angle!” >.<

Alas, the storm was only growing with every second spent thinking, thus he channelled his faith into this group's flying skills, and climbed onto the Staraptor's back. Gaius did the same with the Pidgeot, looking clearly uncomfortable

Only Alice was left. No bird approached her, and when the Staraptor opened its wings in anticipation for departure, she moved to halt him, her features nearing panic.

"No, wait! Don't go! Let me on!"

The flying-type stood there, clearly perplexed. "Why? Can't you simply fly away? I don't see what the problem is."

Her eyes narrowed. Her voice lowered to a growly whisper. "It's a blasted urban myth—nothing more. Have you ever seen a Dragonair in your life? Thought so. Now, stop wasting time and get us out of here!"

Pidgeot!Legionary: “Er… actually, I think I might have seen one back at a triumphal procession a few years-”
Alice: “Seeing one sitting doesn’t count! J-Just let me on already before we all get sucked into the abyss!” >.<

Flame drew back, flinching internally. To see Alice speak with anger felt close to traumatic—such a calm and rational creature! He could only wonder why the subject had brought forth so much bitterness in her voice. He would need to speak with her in earnest, but now was not the time.

Still waiting for the story to drop the shoe regarding Alice’s perpetual flight problems. Since I can’t tell whether that’s something that she’s just always had to deal with since evolving and drawing the proverbial short stick, or if something happened to her to mess up her ability to fly. I could honestly see it going either way given her reaction to getting her neck orb grabbed while sparring.

Flame: "Wait, but if Dragonair being able to fly is an urban myth Alice, shouldn't these 'mons have logically have known-?"
Alice: "It's. An. Urban. Myth. Now let's hurry up and get out of here!"

Fortunately, the legionaries decided that time was scarce, and so Alice was made to hold onto another avian, a tricky feat seeing with her body shape and lack of limbs.

Alice: “... You know, I really would feel more secure right now if those loops were around for me to grab onto.”
:uhhh:

Legionary!Pidgeot: “Yeah, well how do you think I feel with a glorified serpent coiling around me?” >v<

Once the order was given, Flame felt his mount flap its powerful wings—and leave the ground altogether. His first instinct was that to hold onto the Staraptor's neck tighter. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the ground. It was shrinking off into the distance. Everything was in pure detail He could see the full sweep of Portus from where he was now, or what was left of it: a field of wreckage as far as the eye could see. Somehow, from up here, the city's state looked even grimmer than from on the ground.

He Flame closed his eyes. Whether it was out of fear, he did not know, [but it helped him keep calm]. The force of the wind didn't help matters, since he always felt seconds away from being violently ripped off his ride. Not only that, but his tail sent constant signals of discomfort and numbness as it waved behind him, helpless to the mighty airflow. To even entertain too many thoughts at once induced an urge to vomit.

Something about the “helped him keep calm” bit I feel clashes with the rest of the paragraph since the rest is all about things that are making Flame nervous or uncomfortable. One way of doing that I think would be to extend it a bit to something like [but it helped him keep calm. And with tar-black death in the skies over Portus, he needed every last shred of it he could muster.] or some other statement of “because I need to try to stay calm”, since it’d help tee up the litany of things that are weighing down on Flame in the rest of the paragraph.

The landscape around him was changing at startling speed. Below he briefly spotted the main road leading in and out of town, the last blocks of insulae, followed by grassy hills. One positive thing could be said about the wind: it propelled them forward to staggering speeds. If this was how such large birds flew whilst saddled with a passenger, how fast could one cruise normally?


Oh! There the bile rose again. Its bitter taste tainted the back of his mouth.

You probably want to explicitly mention that Flame opened his eyes again somewhere, or else that he’s copping brief peeks at his surroundings, since he was mentioned shutting them in the last paragraph to try and stay calm.

Flame: “O-Oog…” @.@
Legionary!Staraptor: “You hurl on my plumage, and I’ll do an aileron roll, civvie.” >v>

No. Calm down, calm down. Don't think about anything. It'll all be over soon. You'll be on land again and—

And then the Staraptor veered to the side, and the world turned sideways, and any reason flew out below him. There was a concrete possibility he'd screamed, but it would have been impossible to hear either way. All he knew was that one of his legs now dangled into the abyss. Letting panic take the reins, He felt panic overtake him and he hugged tighter round his mount's feathery neck, feeling a tiny wince shoot through its body as he did so.

In his head, the entire ordeal lasted for minutes on end, albeit in reality it likely amounted to much less. Sooner than he'd realised they were back in horizontal flight. Flame felt an urgent need to scream at the Staraptor, but his words would likely end up lost in the wind.

Gaius: “... No, you definitely screamed there, Flame. In a way that I’m pretty sure would’ve embarrassed a little girl.”
Flame: “S-Shut up! How can you even hear that over these winds?!” >_>;

Besides, there would be no need: the plateau came into view through the fog. A smile blossomed on his face.

…Only to wither in an instant. No prolonged look was required to know that all was not well in Camp Horizon. Even from afar, something looked off. Dozens of tiny figures scrambled left and right in a frenzied panic, and heavy smoke was billowing from one part of the encampment. Then, as they flew closer, more and more details became apparent. Corpses bathing bathed in blood. Fire ravaging tent after tent. Beams of electricity, fire, ice, flying in every direction at no specific target. Masses of pokémon streamed up the sole path leading up to the plateau, poured into the camp, and crashed upon the feeble line of defenders with the force of a tidal wave.

Flame: "I guess this would explain why we didn't hear from Archangel at all since we were jumped back in Portus." ._.
Alice: "... Not that it's not horribly moot at this point, but why didn't we try to call him for help through our badges during all of this?"
- Beat moment -
Flame: "We panicked, I guess?"
- Gaius grimace -
Gaius: "How are we getting overrun when we have the high ground?! Those 'mons in Camp Horizon should've been able to cut off that one path easily!"
:grohno:

Staraptor: "Now that you mention it, I don't see any signs of them having aerial support. How are you civvies managing to get your asses kicked this badly?"
Gaius: “‘You civvies’? Most of the remaining garrison was your guys! All of the Lieutenants and higher are there-!” >_>;
Alice: “Gaius, let’s not anger the nice birds before we’re safely back on terra firma…”
:fearfullaugh:


Flame's breath caught.

Is this what they planned? he realised. They must have known the portal storm was coming. How could they have known? Oh, Arceus, we're not ready for this…

Though unable to see the Staraptor's face, he could certainly feel its body tense up beneath him.

"All units, drop off your passengers and return to formation! Prepare to engage!" the bird yelled at the top of its lungs.

Legionary!Pidgeot: “Copy that, Captain, beginning aileron roll in five-”
Alice: “No! Drop us off normally! Drop us off normally! We can help fight down there!” O.O;

Before he could object, his mount was already diving towards the ground, forcing Flame to hold on for his dear life to avoid being sucked straight upward, of all directions. Their dive became steeper, the air buffeting their bodies growing ever sterner.

A great roar split the air somewhere far off. The winds became more intense. The Staraptor's descent soon levelled off, until, with one great flap of its wings, it bled enough speed to touch down safely.

Flame half threw himself on the ground, landing on his arms. Despite the swarm of thoughts in his head, he simply lay there, focused on each shallow breath—as though it was him who had done all the physical work of flying out of Portus. [Tingly sensations were all that remained once the adrenaline left his system.]

Not really feeling that last sentence there. I think it might make sense to illustrate more of that adrenaline wearing off and what it feels like from Flame’s perspective until he’s left with the aforementioned tingly sensations.

Soon two more birds landed nearby. It was Alice and Gaius. The three of them gathered closer as though by impulse.

"We can't—the Scum," Gaius wheezed. "They're attacking the camp. We can't stay here."

Flame wanted to answer, but something blocked his throat. He watched absentmindedly as the three birds lifted off with stupefying agility.

… I just realized, but where exactly did those Legionary birds leave them anyways? Since there wasn’t much description to work with relative to where they were from Camp Horizon or the sensory experiences they were picking up from where they were.

We don't have a choice, do we? he told himself, staring down at his tail fire. There's nothing to fear. I've fought the Scum before, and I'll be damned if I let myself die here. I'm strong. There's nothing to fear.

Alice: “Uh… I’d just like to remind that these Scum managed to fight their way up to the camp, so I’m not convinced that we’re going to do anywhere near as well in a 12:1 matchup this time around.”
:fearfullaugh:

Flame: “Oh my god, Alice. Please! Not now! I need to go into this not thinking about all the ways I could possibly die!” >.<
Gaius: “Also, I’m not convinced that the Scum are doing this well just well from their own confidence. Unless we missed something about their attack formation, they literally came up the one path that any centuria worth its salt ought to have been able to riddle with Spikes or Stealth Rock or the like.” >_>;
Flame: “... Wait, are those moves even usable in this setting? I could’ve sworn that it avoided attacks that were more flashy in favor of more grounded ones.”
Gaius: “Even if they aren’t, how hard is it to spread some damn caltrops?” >.<

Alice said nothing; she stared mesmerised into the camp. "Sorry. Still feeling dizzy. I … I saw clashes near the main access path. The enemy must be concentrated there. If our forces manage to prevent a breakthrough, perhaps…"

She paused. Her eyes shifted downwards, deep in thought.

"Ah, whatever!" Gaius snapped, standing on wobbly footing. "We'll think of something as we go along."



Let’s not get into how if they’d run into literally any party of Scum that was even marginally larger than them in Camp Horizon, that Team Phalanx would’ve had serious life expectancy problems.

Flame felt an urge to object, but, alas, it would only delay the inevitable.

I'm stronger than them. Everything will be all right, he clasped his fists, taking one last breath.

youre_serious_futurama.gif


"What are you waiting for? Go! Help the others!" Gaius took off towards the sounds of battle.

Thus, Flame and Alice followed suit and took off running. Past smouldering tents and past bleeding cadavers, Team Phalanx ran. They had no precise battle plan, other than to join with any other defender in pushing back the invaders. Yet some of those same defenders were wandering aimlessly, looking at it all with sleepy shock.

Staraptor: "Alright, nevermind. I completely understand how you civvies are getting your asses kicked this badly."
Gaius: “Oi! I thought you were supposed to have flown off!” >_>;

[Doubt chipped at his morale.] Just how many pokémon had been left to garrison the camp? Surely those still in Portus would take hours to regroup! [Those thoughts were left to ferment in some corner of his mind.]

They advanced into the core of the camp, where the smog from countless small fires obscured the area. He found had no difficulty in breathing, contrary to his teammates, who coughed every so often as the hazy shroud became thicker. From somewhere not too far ahead came sizzles of electricity and screams of pain. The main battle lines had to have been there.

Alright, two bits for brackets.

For the first one, I’m not really feeling the description there. It might make sense to frame it more in terms of something like [“Just from the run over, Flame already felt his hard-coached confidence waver from doubt.”], since he’s seen a few things already that would make him fairly uneasy about Camp Horizon’s prospects about repulsing the Scum invasion, might as well lean into them a bit more.

For the second one, I think that it might sound more compelling to have Flame actively push those thoughts back while staying focused. e.x. something like: [“Flame pushed those thoughts back to ferment in some corner of his mind. Right here, right now, they needed to spring into action, and every moment dawdling dimmed Camp Horizon’s odds of surviving this onslaught.”]

Wind whipped in their faces, clearing enough smoke to allow sight of their surroundings. Flame's heart tripled its rate at once. Occupying the entrance to the camp were swarms of creatures, numbering in the hundreds. Every single one was engaged in combat of some sort. On the ground were soldiers, some moaning in pain from gaping wounds and others laying in twisted heaps, some with their eyes shut, and others with them still wide open. [It was sheer carnage.]

Friendly forces maintained a double-file, wall of flesh formation to contain the enemy advance. At least, that seemed to be their intent: [one nearby group's formation was smashed before his very eyes.]

I can see how Urbe’s been bleeding itself white with that sort of military doctrine, though a lot of these described formations would be a lot more potent with shield wall antics thrown into the mix.

As for the brackets, the first one would be to either expand or axe the [“It was sheer carnage.”] bit, since the description is already pretty evocative of that. If you opt to go the expansion route, have Flame compare it to stuff he’s already seen like the tail end of their Castra Aeterna mission, since presumably whatever they saw there is dwarfed by this.

Also, for the bit about the nearby formation getting rekt, it might make sense to elaborate on how that happened a bit more. For instance, did they just get Zerg Rushed by a wall of bodies? Did someone throw a few well-placed Orbs to throw the lines into disarray? Did a Salamance swoop in and Earthquake the front of the line? Lotsa possibilities there, but it’s all a tad hazy.

Flame: "... Wait, if the Scum's front line is bottled up in a choke point like that, why aren't we just using Protect in alternating waves of Pokémon while our friendlies lob attacks overhead? We could even have some Pokémon in the rear cast Protect upwards to defend the front line from attacks from above like a Blastoise's shell!"
Alice: "(A turtle-like formation? Isn't that an actual tactic the Army drills with?) And aren't they trying to do that right now (or at least minus that second part)? Though I'll admit it's hard to tell what they're doing in that formation from that description."
Gaius: "Well, getting mulched, obviously. Though I’m pretty sure Protect isn’t widespread enough in this setting to make those tactics viable. Though even if it was, with how half-assed things are on Task Force Aegis, I doubt any of us got a chance to be move-tutored it, much less trained on how to use it in a continuous formation like that."

"Contact! Just up ahead!" Gaius shouted suddenly.

Flame prepared his claws. Peering through the smog, he saw the advancing forms of pokémon that seemed entirely separate from the defenders. They were different from any Imperial soldier in the absence of equipment on their bodies. Those same bodies were painted in crude patterns, whilst any fur was rigorously unkempt. Moreover, their fighting involved no coordination whatsoever—just mindless aggression, slashing, biting, trampling corpses, not unlike ferals that inhabited mystery dungeons.

I might have missed something back in prior chapters, but I could’ve sworn that standard issue equipment for Legionaries in this setting was just a bag and a badge if a squad leader. While it makes sense meta-wise to have that be your leading descriptor, part of me wonders how much it would be noticed by Team Phalanx versus the body paint and unkempt appearances.

Flame: "Just saying, that Protect wall idea would really be helpful now if their tactics are really as bad as the text is making it sound."
Gaius: "... I'm sorry, but how did everyone manage to let these guys get all the way up the plateau on the one path up again?"
Alice: "Considering the state we found some of our friendlies in, I'm pretty sure they were caught by surprise."
Gaius: "Is it really that hard to set up some damn Spikes?!"

Gaius rushed forth into the fray, but was forced to duck mid-way by jets of fire, water, and ice flying from every direction.

Within seconds, the few Scum that had broken through the Imperial formation became dozens. The air became filled with elemental attacks from both sides as nearby Imperial forces dedicated every last pokémon to stopping the breakthrough. Officers and legionaries alike threw themselves into the gap, only to be slaughtered by the enemy's swelling ranks.

Gaius: “You know, now would’ve been a good time to have a couple dozen Blast Seeds on hand to deal with that gap! Seriously, how did we have a Legionary escort with us and not that?!” >_>;
Flame: “Because this was supposed to be a search and rescue mission? Also, considering how widespread the fires are over the camp, for all we know we did have those, then one of the Scum lit up the tent acting as our armory and then it spewed explosive fire all over the rest.”
Gaius: “Oh for crying out loud! They have no visible aerial cover and they literally fight like ferals! How could they possibly have thought of that?!” >.<
Alice: “Er… I mean, they do learn. Though maybe they got a lucky shot off?”
:fearfullaugh:


[When fighting drifted an enemy Sableye within range, to Team Phalanx's position, Flame spewed a stream of fire from his maw to relieve a fellow officer]. The barbarian seemed more annoyed than seriously hurt by the attempt, however; it stopped brutalising its victim—who wasted no time in crawling away—only to identify a new one. Him.

With a primal yell, Gaius lunged onto the Sableye. And didn't come back down. The previously distracted Scum stood with its body twisted by ninety degrees, gemstone eyes glowing, keeping a faint pink aura around the Grovyle's body

Flame's eyes became wide. His teammate was floating—or, rather, being kept afloat by the Sableye's psionic powers. Alice gasped as well by his side. [Before either of them could react, Gaius arched backwards as though in absolute pain, only unable to scream.] The pinkish aura enveloping his body seemed to press tighter if such a thing were possible.

Alright, a couple of bracketed sections here as well for you to pick through.

The first is that you probably want to expand the bit where Team Phalanx comes across the Scum Sableye, since there’s some after the fact description that should probably get built up to. e.x. If you want to telegraph that the Sableye knows Psychic:

[ The fighting brought an enemy Sableye within range to Team Phalanx's position, the Ghost-type pinning a hapless {whatever} with {insert TFA officer sign here} wreathed in a pink aura to the ground. The Sableye slashed at the {whatever} with its claws, and then did it again, prompting Flame spewed a stream to relieve his fellow officer. ]

For the second bracket, you also probably want to make it clearer that the Scum Sableye is attempting to crush/squeeze the life out of Gaius. Since there’s a mention of the aura pressing tighter around Gaius’ body, but not really what the immediate effects of that are on him.

Gaius: “F-For gods’ sake, help me out here already!
Flame: “... Wait, do I really want to given that you left me for dead like 10 minutes ago-?”
Alice: “Flame, we’re gonna starve if we don’t have a full team to do missions.”
Flame: “Ugh… fine.

"Damn it!" Flame grit his teeth.

Now compelled to act, he ran across open ground with his claws drawn. To simply witness one of his teammates in such pain felt intolerable. Mere instants moments after entering striking range he struck, driving his claws into the creature's hard skin and even leaving scratch marks on one eye. The creature flinched visibly, but did not let go of the Grovyle even as blood trickled down to its neck. Instead, it gathered an orb of shadowy energy in its paw.

Sensing the impending danger, he mustered another fire breath attack. Too late. By the time he'd opened his maw, the sphere was already shooting through the air. He shut his eyes, bracing for the imminent impact…

Clang!

But it never came. Flame cracked an eye open to see a robotic, disc-shaped pokémon floating in front of him. Its teal metal exterior gleamed against his tail light. While it lacked legs, it featured two thick arms with three claws on each end, just as white as the many spikes paired along its back.

If that was Dark Pulse, pretty sure that Archangel’s save there wouldn’t have worked in more recent gens after the Steel-type resistance to Dark-type was dropped.

The Metang quickly drew his arm back, and [sent the Sableye through the air], landing with a disturbing crack near another fight.

Flame stared at the newcomer for some moments. A sweeping look of his surroundings revealed Gaius laying on the ground, coughing and groaning.

The Metang turned round. A pair of holes in its metallic skin revealed two large, red pupils.

Probably want to expand how Archangel pulled that one off and have the attack explicitly connect with the Sableye, since launching someone into the air via Psychic isn’t quite the same as Bullet Punching someone into airtime. Though my assumption is that he did the latter.

Gaius: “O-Oh thank gods, that was way too close. Though who the hell are you, again?”

"Officers. Are you all right?" it asked. That voice, although resembling two gears grinding against one another, sounded oddly familiar.

Flame nodded, shaken out of his daze, and rushed to fend off nearby foes whilst Alice helped their leader away from the developing battle. Once they'd travelled far enough away to where the smog covered the sight of the bloodbath, Gaius gathered enough strength to stand up on his own, claiming to be in good health, though obviously unsettled by the his experience.

The Grovyle turned to the Metang still hovering by their side. "Hey, big guy. Since you're a psychic or whatever, help us keep those fuckers at bay. Our lines are breaking. Get moving!"

The Metang refused to follow. "No. It's no use."

Flame: "Oh thank gods, so you're here to help us fight off the Scum-"
Archangel:
bdd.jpg

Flame + Alice + Gaius: "WHAT?! What do you mean 'No?!'"

"Wh-What the hell does that mean?" Gaius snapped, clasping his paws into fists.

[Alice assumed a pensive face.]

"I recognise your voice. Are you … Archangel?"

Something about Alice’s demeanor here seems a bit too calm and collected for being literally a couple hundred meters away from a bunch of her colleagues bleeding and dying close enough for her to likely hear their cries.

The metal beast paused briefly, giving the three of them an attentive look. "I see. You were one of the teams under my supervision—Team Phalanx. I don't know how you returned here so quickly, but you'd do well to leave immediately."

Flame too felt the same impetus urge that his teammates did—to rush into battle, aid their comrades, no matter the odds. But something in Archangel's voice beckoned him to listen. Uncalled Just then, the sight he'd witnessed from high above the camp floated into his mind. The sheer number of pokémon sent shivers all over his body.

"Why?" Alice cocked her head, eyes stern. "Even if the odds are against us, we must try. What other choice do we have? There is no surrendering to those wretches. If the camp falls, we fall with it."

Flame: “No, no, let’s hear Archangel out here for a moment, Alice.”
:fearfullaugh:

Archangel: “See, at least one of you is listening to reason here.”

Archangel closed its eyes. "The situation is hopeless. They caught us at at the worst time imaginable. Eighty percent of our initial force is still scattered throughout Portus, and it would take hours for any of them to make it back. Even the garrison left here wasn't truly prepared to fight like this."

Archangel: "Also, that 80% included most of the Pokémon we'd normally put on tribulus duty, and the rest cut and ran before they could properly set Spikes on the path up here. So the Scum snuck their way up before an organized defense could be mustered."
- Gaius facepalm -
Gaius: "I suppose that explains how they made it up here." >.<

Flame only grew more anxious as the gravity of the situation continued to dawn sank in on him. Perhaps it had been a mistake to join this wretched expedition. He ought to have stayed in Aesernia, or perhaps left altogether to find a better life with his friends. Now, everything would amount to naught. His memories—

To even Just trying hold so many thoughts at once made him realise he was hyperventilating.

"… W-what do we do now?" he mumbled under his shaky breath.

Flame: “I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but we really should’ve stayed with Virgo and Yvaine to watch Ariel’s villa.” ._.
Alice: “Let’s not get too crazy here, sticking with Virgo is still a hard ‘no’ on my end.” >_>;

"There's no time left. I'll help you and anyone else who's still standing find a way out."

Alice took a deep breath, clearly failing at keeping calm. [ ]

"How? Do we make a run for it? The road's still blocked…"

"Just float us out of here, for Mew's sake!" Gaius growled, striking the Metang's hard exterior.

Archangel looked the Grovyle in the eye. [ ]

"No. There are other soldiers left who deserve to live. I have a plan."

I personally feel that it probably makes sense to expand the bits of body language and description from Alice and Archangel, either elaborating on what they do or else Flame’s reaction to it since presumably he’d have some reaction to seeing Alice visibly start to panic.

Gaius: “Which is...?”
Flame: “Er… yeah, just how are you planning on turning this around, Archangel?”

Once again, the wind blew at such an angle that all smoke was blown away and the battling horde returned into their field of view. All semblance of formation and discipline was quickly disintegrating, with mass attacks turning into one-on-one brawls. Barbarians previously unable to participate in combat now streamed freely into the camp. Now nothing separated the enemy from Team Phalanx. But—ah! The narrow road leading down from the plateau was no longer blocked by enemy masses.

Archangel's pupils seemed to dilate. "There! It's now or never—run for it! I'll cover your escape!"

Gaius: “Your brilliant plan is seriously to run down the narrow path the Scum took up here and hope there’s not more of them waiting for us at the bottom?! Good gods, what is wrong with this task force?!”
:grohno:

Archangel: “Do you seriously want to try fleeing into the forest that for all you know they’ve snuck into to lie in wait to ambush anyone fleeing that way?! Have you all seriously not heard of how well that worked with the Clades Variana?!
- Beat moment -
Alice: “Wait a minute, ‘Variana’, so then the name of the ‘mon who led that one expedition into the Wastelands was-?”
Archangel: “Look, stop standing around and run already!”

Team Phalanx sent traded simultaneous glances of alarm. Dozens of pokémon, both enemy and allied, fighting and dead, lay between them and salvation. To run out into the open would prove a death sentence.

"RUN!" the Metang said in a screech that hurt their ears.

Whether out of desperation, or out of fear, Team Phalanx ran. They ran into the horrid field of bodies, caring not how many they trampled in their mad dash. They ran past jets of fire, ice, and water. They didn't stop when increasing numbers of enemies noticed their escape and moved to intercept them.

>when your brilliant escape plan basically could’ve come to a screeching halt from one poorly-placed Discharge.

Staraptor: “And I quote, ‘I completely understand how you civvies are getting your asses kicked this badly.’”
Dragonair: “N-No wait! Please! Come back and help us-?!”
- Cue the Staraptor being driven off by an errant ice beam in the background, as Gaius gapes up briefly while running -
Gaius: “Why on earth did we listen to Archangel?!” >.<
Flame: “Don’t think, just keep running!” O.O

In that moment, a great flash encompassed the encampment. Flame felt the light pierce through his eyelids. Yet, he somehow kept running out of from sheer muscle memory, praying no rogue corpse would trip him up and end it all.

When he opened his eyes again, all the Scum were no longer moving to mob them were no more, having been thrown back several metres by an unseen force. All Archangel's doing, he realised. Then Archangel shot one beam of psychic energy after another with a metallic cry, and Flame saw them pass over his shoulder, directed at any attackers who attempted to block their escape path.

The Metang's calm voice—unnaturally so considering the circumstances—rose from within his thoughts:

"To all Imperial soldiers: we are pulling out. This is your chance to escape. I will keep the exit route clear for as long as I can. Esto perpetua."

Gaius: "Okay, seriously? Couldn't he have done his last stand gambit in some place where he wouldn't be able to get ringed in 10 seconds?!"
Alice: "Just saying, this would've worked better if he were on a bridge or something."
Archangel: "Stop questioning my sacrifice and run already!"

The following moments went by in a messy blur. Hesitation was purged from his system. His feelings of hesitation faded away as he tore along blindly. Although some part of him deep inside screamed in terror, he repressed it to the farthest reaches of his consciousness. There could be no falling He couldn’t afford to fall prey to fear. Not now, not with Archangel risking everything for them.

N
either Alice nor Gaius were within his visual range, he had to trust took it on faith they were just behind him. He saw a few Imperial soldiers stumble away from fighting, yet could not count them. All that dominated his world was the incessant heartbeat in his chest.

Some proposed extensions for you. Though in general, even if things are going by in a haze for Flame, it probably makes sense to communicate what’s going on in the background a little better given that Team Phalanx loses contact with those background randoms and they’re all MIA/presumed KIA within 2 chapters.

To his marvel, what used to represent a speck in the horizon suddenly seemed within grasp. Hundreds of metres shrank to fifty, then ten, and suddenly a narrow dirt path materialised in front of them, flanked by the sloped cliffside revealing a sheer drop with nothing but cragged rocks awaiting those above.

His heart skipped a beat: they'd finally made it outside!

That one moment of distraction was all it took for him to set foot upon a deformed Marowak's body, and fall face-first on the ground. It took a few moments for him to realise that he'd landed onto another bloodied carcass, and that the path ahead overflowed with dozens more.

747547925630156811.png


Flame:
2f8.jpg

Alice: “In retrospect, I suppose we shouldn’t have expected more from the plan of a theatrical guy with a martyrdom complex.” o.o;
Gaius: "Well so much for that escape plan. So what now? Are we supposed to just lay down and die?"

He Flame stumbled to his feet and resumed his crazed desperate marathon to salvation. Even with his thighs feeling on the verge of ripping in two, he couldn't afford to stop now. [What if Archangel had already been overwhelmed, ripped to pieces, unable to float to safety?]

"It could take half an hour to get down from here," Flame looked daunted at the grasslands far below. "Th-they'll surely catch up with us! What do we do?"

"J-just up ahead," Alice yelled in between pants. "There's … those caverns we saw this morning. [One of them is bound to be a mystery dungeon. We—we can use those to escape.]"

Okay, two bracketed bits for your consideration:

For the first one, the order of the different things speculating on Archangel’s fate IMO ought to be changed around, since the last one in sequence feels milder than the first two. Something like [What if Archangel had been unable to float to safety? For all they knew he’d already been overwhelmed and ripped to pieces by those ghouls back in camp.] might do the trick.

The second one is one that can’t really be fixed in this chapter specifically, but more looking back further, but you probably want to slip in a passing mention of there being Mystery Dungeon entrances on the way down from Camp Horizon, for instance, a little blink-and-miss-it sentence mentioning that Team Phalanx was warned about them, whether in dialogue or narration. It tees up a Chekov’s Gun that makes Alice’s mention of “there’s Mystery Dungeons” here feel less conveniently out of left field than it presently is.

Alice: "Right, so those caves nearby. There should be a Mystery Dungeon entrance in one of them."
Gaius: "And we know this assumption will pan out again how?"
Flame: "That is kind of a shot in the dark there, isn't it?"
Alice: "Because the alternative is just sitting around here on this path and becoming the next bodies lining it?"
- Beat moment -
Gaius: "Fair point. Let's go spelunking."
Flame: "Yeah, I'm down for that shot in the dark."

Far, far above, he spotted bird-like silhouettes zooming away towards the setting sun. Shouts for help rose in his throat, but it was no use. They flew off without any sign of hearing his cries. The thought of imminent death surpassed any relief for from knowing some of their fellow comrades survived. Though Then he realized he practically had no way of knowing whether those birds were in fact the ones from earlier, he and proceeded to unleash a flurry of insults at his own idiocy inside his own head.

After running what felt like two consecutive marathons, Team Phalanx branched away from the main path and onto a rocky ledge just wide enough to support three pokémon side-by-side.

"There!" Gaius pointed with a claw. "See it? That one oughta work."

They were met with a large aperture carved into the rocky façade. At first glance it seemed to be fairly ordinary, but a closer look revealed that the large barrier of darkness seen from the outside did not follow standard logic based on the sun's current position.

No further confirmation was required; That was all the confirmation they needed to know that this was a mystery dungeon. Flame saw the expression on his teammates' faces lighten, but he himself would not relax until they were inside, safe and sound—if dungeons could be considered as such.

Oh so that’s how all those Scum got up the one path to Camp Horizon.

Flame: “... Wait a minute, I just realized. And entire Scum army out of nowhere. And there’s a Mystery Dungeon right here. And we saw them use Castra Aeterna to get to Nova Sperantia…
:uhhh:

Alice: “... Okay, I’m suddenly having doubts about this plan myself.” O.O
Gaius: “Look, if we dawdle here, they’re going to catch up with us and throw us off the cliff! Let’s just stick to the damn plan with the Mystery Dungeon!”
:grohno:


"Oh, thank the gods," Flame whispered half to himself. "I thought we were done for up there…"

As they completed the last stretch to the dungeon's entrance, they were forced to stop when something unusual materialised on the floor before of them. Sludge. Liquid, dark grey goo. It seemed to have appeared out of thin air, or perhaps the rock below, expanding from mere drops to a small puddle to a miniature lake that threatened to spill into the abyss below.

Then, the most unexpected of things took place.

A head emerged from the sludge.

Flame: “I-Is that supposed to happen in Mystery Dungeons-?”
:uhhh:

Alice + Gaius: “NO!” O.O

Team Phalanx could only watch in bewilderment as some sort of creature rose gradually from the anomalous goo as though phasing through a portal. After the head came two large arms, then the body, and at the end, a wispy tail in place of legs. The sludge coating its body trickled away rapidly.

Having now fully revealed itself, the phantom opened its eyes—no, eye. Flame felt his heart lodge in his trachea. Whatever this thing was, it possessed a single, deathly red eye that made him cower on the inside.

He felt that very same eye scan them individually, burning onto their skin—ah! Now it was looking straight at him. Tearing through his insides, he felt. Why was it lingering?

Team Phalanx:
770125468800122880.png


One mistake, he thought, that was all it took. To shed caution let their guard down too early, to abandon haste slow and let their enemies catch up with them. Now, they would all pay dearly for it.

The Dusknoir widened its single pupil briefly, as though surprised, and then … smiled? He could not quite explain how a pokémon with no mouth could smile, but he had no doubt that's what it was doing.

Sweating, Gaius unsheathed his leaf blades. Alice too straightened her posture to appear more threatening, yet failed to hide her shaking visible trembling. Flame just stared.

No member of Team Phalanx dared to make the first move, chiefly because their opponent did not pounce on them.

Flame: "Wh-Whew, and here I thought that was going to be the end of our story! Lucky thing this creepy ghost guy stepped in-"
Gaius + Alice: "..." O.O
Flame: "... Right? This is a good thing, isn’t it?" ._.

Growling coming from behind them snapped Flame out of his trance. He spun his head round. As expected, what he saw confirmed his darkest feelings deepest fears: on the dirt path they'd just left stood six or seven barbarians, all delivering unmerciful stares. The only unhindered escape path was down, over the cliff's edge. And he didn't like looking down.

"Guys? They're behind us, as well…"

"Yeah, we 'got away' all right. You and your big mouth," Gaius said, voice dripping with spite.

"Fuck. Off," Flame hissed through grit teeth. "This isn't the time."

One of the onlooking Scum—a bulky Nidorino—took a step forward, baring its teeth.

It might also merit slipping in a realization that all is lost for Camp Horizon including those other nameless randoms who made it onto the path behind them. Since if there’s enough ‘monpower to cut Team Phalanx off to this extent on their escape route… yeah, those randoms aren’t exactly going to have a long life expectancy right about now.

Flame: “AAAAAAAAAAAA!”
770125468800122880.png

Gaius: “Uh… yeah, I could’ve really done with not dying in the same fashion as those researchers back in Treehound Cove.”
:grohno:

Alice: “A-At least it’s not a Nidorina-?”
Flame: “That isn’t making me feel better right now, Alice!” >.<

But the Dusknoir motioned it to stop with a hand. In response, the Nidorino stuttered back, as though a scolded child, and bowed down until its head touched the ground.

Given what Daedalus most likely told that one Nidorino there, you probably also want to slip in some acknowledgement of how the other Scum present reacted. Since… yeah, if they could hear that explanation, they’d all be fairly startled and taken aback.

Scum!Nidorino: “E-Es tut mir leid! Ich wusste nicht, dass Sie waren-!
Flame: “W-What on earth just happened there?”

Flame held no words. It took but a few seconds, even in his panicked state, for the gears to grind in his head. Nobody had ever mentioned any leadership present in the barbarian tribes, but this being was clearly imparting orders. The discovery jarred him somewhat. He'd expected a hypothetical Scum leader to be some muddy, bulky monster bearing layers upon layers of body painting and elaborate headwear. Amongst those brutes, the Dusknoir looked almost … out of place.

Because he is out of place among them. Though that won’t become apparent for a few more chapters down the pipe.

Yet, those thoughts flew out of his head when he saw the phantom reach a hand out in his direction. Perhaps he ought to have reacted—lash out in sheer desperation. However, his muscles refused to budge. The hand inched closer. Perhaps it would be quite painless, in the end.

He squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. This is it. I'm dying. I'm dead.

The Dusknoir's hand landed on his shoulder, which it wholly encompassed. Shivers ran down his spine at the touch. But the hand moved no further. His eyes flew open when death did not come, peering up questioningly.

Ah yes, so Charmeleon too can experience tharn. And boy would that not have ended well if Flame didn’t draw one hell of a lucky roll here for what Scum he ran into.

The Dusknoir kept smiling—the lack of a mouth only rendering things more disturbing—and gazed back down at him, hand firmly on his shoulder. It nodded at him in a fashion that felt vaguely paternal.

Who are you? Flame asked in his head. Why do you feel so familiar?

Scum!Nidorino: “E-Er ist Ihr Vater! Sie erinnern sich an ihn, nicht wahr?
Gaius: “W-What the actual-?”
:grohno:

Alice: “Fl-Flame?! What’s going on here?!”

Suddenly, he remembered. This was the very same ghost he'd seen during the fortress mission. It was following him. But to what purpose? Why him, of all pokémon?

As he stared into its eye, all semblance of doubt faded. He'd met this pokémon before. The iron curtain of amnesia muddied his thoughts as usual, but some corner of his mind whispered there was something more, another piece of the puzzle laying just outside his grasp.

Boy would the next 5 chapters have played out differently if the Delcatty didn’t catch Daedalus’ tongue there and he’d just said something at this moment.

Alice: “F-Flame?! H-Help us!
Flame: “W-Wait. Alice and Gaius. Wh-What is this thing gonna do to-?”

For what felt like minutes, but likely amounted to seconds, Flame kept still, ignoring the deathly-scared looks of his comrades. Eventually, the Dusknoir lost its smile, grew visibly perplexed. Was it expecting a reaction?

… How on earth was he supposed to react? Thoughts of his team held in captivity swirled in his mind. He saw visions of them being held in cages, violated, tortured. Scenes of intimacy they’d shared inside their tent back in Aesernia followed, and suddenly it became impossible to think without tears welling in his eyes.

Flame: “N-No, y-you stay the hell away from my friends!”
Scum!Nidorino: “Ah… Herr Daidalos?
Flame: “I won’t let you hurt them like that!”
Scum!Nidorino: “S-Sie sollten etwas sagen! Dalli!

Maybe because of that, or maybe because of the adrenaline flowing through his system, he brewed fire in his stomach. When he saw the Dusknoir motioned the onlooking Scum towards Alice and Gaius, and drew closer to grab a hold of him, Flame snapped.

White, scorching fire exited his maw and engulfed the phantom's upper body, eliciting screams of pain so sharp it felt like his mind would be ruptured into two.

The Dusknoir drew back, clutching its eye, and Team Phalanx reacted at once; no words needed to be spoken. They threw themselves past the figure and into the dungeon's welcoming clutches.

Actually, I just realized that Daedalus probably didn’t speak up on the off chance that Alice and Gaius got away since they’d instantly let every Imperial know exactly where a certain person of interest of theirs was. Prooobably didn’t bode well at all for Alice and Gaius’ life expectancy had Flame not spat up that Flamethrower right then and there.

Gaius: "'Lucky thing this creepy ghost guy stepped in right?' Gods Flame, are you really that credulous?" >:|
Flame: "Hey, I got us to safety eventually! And I didn't see you or Alice doing anything back there to try and distract the handsy Ghost-Type!" >_>;

Not a few steps inside, Flame fell onto his knees briefly, clutching his head tightly. The brief loss of perception upon entering a dungeon always managed to startle him. He breathed a liberatory breath out a sigh of relief, and drew circles with his head to inspect their immediate surroundings.

They now stood in a cave whose walls, ceiling, and floor were made out of ice. There was no natural light, minus his tail's immediate glow and the faint refractions making him aware just how tall this room's ceiling was. Everything else outside of that little square of world was shrouded in pitch darkness.

He promptly checked behind him. As expected, the outside world was no more, replaced by a wall encased in ice.

Flame: “... Shouldn’t we be running ahead deeper into this thing since the entrance with all those Scum was right there behind us?”
Alice: “I-I’m pretty sure the connecting location into the dungeon’s changed after we went in? O-Otherwise this is going to be a really short escape.
:fearfullaugh:


Thus, it was not a surprise to find out that he felt cold. It lasted little more than mere moments, though, for his tail fire enlargened grew in response, and drowned out the frigid air around him with heat.

He rested his back upon that wall, feeling the stress that had accumulated in the last hours melt away all at once. Despite being nowhere near safe—this was, after all, an anomalous pocket defying both space and time—he smiled at the thought of finally sitting down to take a rest, no matter how brief.

However, he could not see his teammates anywhere in the dark.

"Alice? Gaius? Are you still here?" he lifted his tail to better illuminate the area.

Gaius: “You…
Flame: “U-Uhm, y-yes?” O_O;

Then, just as he spotted his teammates, a Grovyle tackled him to the wall and kept him pinned. As Flame scrambled to recover the lost breath, he felt a leaf blade being pressed to his throat.

"All right, you traitorous bastard—care to explain what the hell just happened?"

"Gaius, what's gone through your head? Lay off him!" Alice tried unsuccessfully to move his arm away with her tail.

The Grovyle turned to her, seething. "Were you sleeping the whole time? That damned thing was their leader! And it treated Flame like they've been the best of buddies!"

Flame: "Gaius. I blew a Flamethrower into his eye! If we were best buddies at some point, we sure as hell aren't now!"
Gaius: "Really, even if you're not a traitor. You have this coming for being enough of a naive chucklehead to just stand there while Alice and I were about to get turned into a pair of piñatas by that Dusknoir's Scum buddies!"
Alice: “Er… yeah, that was honestly pretty bad, Flame.” -_-;
Flame: “L-Look, I got you two to safety eventually!” >.<

"I-I swear, it's not—" Flame wheezed weakly.

"I knew you couldn't be trusted. And to think—" the blade pressed tighter. "—I was beginning to like you. Fucking rot."

That sentence threw him over the edge. Uncaring of the threat to his life, he brought a shaky paw up to the Grovyle's wrist and pushed it away, making Gaius stumble back. [ ]

Now free to move, he sat his rear on the ground, and massaged the sore spot in his neck to make sure there were no cuts. For some reason, this entire situation reminded him of something.

The cave, the cold, Gaius trying to behead me… I think I'm having déjà-vu right now.

You probably want to expand the third paragraph a bit to have Gaius react a bit more to him, since he doesn’t really strike me as the type to be used to Flame pushing back to him, in this case literally. Also, he thinks that Flame is a danger to him at the moment, so he’d probably be a little more tense at abruptly getting shoved off there.

He’s also lucky that he didn’t get a Flamethrower to the face there, since unlike his time grappling Flame back in that bar, he made the exact same mistake as that one Sceptile from Thermae Himerae there.

Flame: “W-Well at least I’m not bleeding from my throat again, so it’s not a total repeat of when I first met him?”
- Gaius brandishes his leaf blades -
Gaius: “Oh trust me, I don’t want it to be a repeat either. This time, I’m finishing that tracheotomy!”

The thought created the briefest of smiles, until he remembered that his supposed friend had just accused him of treason.

"So?" Gaius growled. "What is it? Delcatty got your tongue? Tell me right fucking now, or consider yourself out of Team Phalanx."

Gaius: “And so help me, if you are with those monsters, I’ll personally cleave your head from your shoul-”
Alice: “Gaius. Calm down and give Flame a chance to speak already!” >_>;

Flame knew he ought to make a convincing argument, but anger flared all at once. "I don't know, okay? I have no damn clue why that … thing touched me, or, or why it didn't attack us. There. Is that good enough for you?"

"Don't fuck with me, Flame. That 'thing' knows you," Gaius brought his face close to his. "Let me repeat, in case you're deaf: the Scum's leader knows you. Their leader! What else could it mean, huh?"

Flame: "Gaius, he could have just as easily been toying with me or something! Or maybe it was a case of mistaken identity!"
Gaius: "Flame, he's from the Wastelands! Do you think he's going to have mistake a random Southerner for someone he knows from there?!"
Flame: “(Er… yeah, funny story about that…)” O.O;

Flame balled his claws into fists, shaking. Insinuating he was a Scum—the nerve! But he could not speak, his larynx throat shriveled onto itself, dried akin to much like a dead leaf. And at once he wished was torn by competing urges to lash out at the Grovyle's face, and just as quickly he wanted nothing more than to and an urge to curl up and disappear within his legs.

In the end, what angered him the most was that his leader's concerns were absolutely valid. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps the Dusknoir had met him in a time long forgotten. How could one he prove that something for which evidence did not exist?

Flame: "Hey. Hold on, I'm speaking your language fluently and not... whatever it was the Scum were."
Gaius: "Hrmph. You had amnesia, remember? You could've forgotten it."
Alice: "Shouldn't Flame have had some bizarre accent if so? Neither of us thought his speech sounded particularly strange when we found him..."
Flame: "Yeah, and Livia said you were the one with the funny accent, not me!"
- Gaius growls and raises a leaf blade irritatedly -
Gaius: "Okay, just for that, I'm not going to listen to that voice in my head telling me to just ignore all of this and trust you!"

"I—I … it's not what you think. Th-there's no way," he breathed in and out quicker. "H-how am I supposed to know him? I can't even remember my Arceusdamned name!"

Gaius spat on the floor just shy of his leg. "Amnesiac or not, you're still one of 'em. I don't intend to spend the rest of my days looking over my shoulder."

Alice looked uneasy. "E-even if that's the case, he's a different pokémon now. We have no reason to doubt his sincerity."

Gaius: “Oh my gods. Alice, just listen to yourself right now! Scum don’t change like that!” >.<
Flame: “I’d like to just remind everyone that we haven’t firmly established that I’m-”
:fearfullaugh:


The Grovyle turned to her. "Seriously? He could have murdered hundreds of civilians, and you're still defending him?"

[Oh—now they questioned the very fabric of his being!] Three minutes prior they would have fought to the end together, and now they spoke of him as some rot!

[ Why did they not listen? He wasn't a bad pokémon. He loved Team Phalanx more than himself.] And if, by some factual observation somehow, he turned out to have been a Scum prior to losing his memories, hadn't he already proven his willingness to atone? By fighting by their side through the wilds and hunger?

Or perhaps Gaius was convinced he still held ties with his former kin. That he'd wait for night-time to call upon a squadron upon them, and murder them both in sweet slumber. To know someone thought him capable of that pulverised his heart.

Alright, two bits in brackets that I’d recommend here:

The first is that that’s technically Gaius questioning the very fabric of Flame’s being. Unless if you’re going to slip in some sort of line or sentence where you show Alice starting to waver beforehand, it probably makes sense to frame it as Gaius doing that, and then maybe slip in a sentence or two about Flame worrying about Alice being swayed by his argument.

For the second set of brackets, it feels like it’s missing a certain degree of emotion, since:

A: The Pokémon he’s grown to think of as his friends for arguably unhealthy reasons are in serious danger of thinking of him as a dangerous monster, and from his perspective Gaius’ argument might not be wrong.
B: Gaius under the most charitable possible interpretation of his threat earlier, has basically threatened Flame with being left alone to fend for himself in a dangerous environment, with food insecurity awaiting him on the other end if he survives.

Both of which would add up to a more emotional and shaken-sounding framing. Something along the following might be worth considering:

[ Why weren’t they listening to him? H-He wasn't a bad pokémon! He loved Team Phalanx more than himself! ]

Focus, Flame. You're losing control of the situation. Just focus.

"G-Gaius, please," he said, and swallowed. Flame quickly found that he could not quite breath—his vision was turning to spots. "L-Listen to me."

"Why?" Gaius snarled. "I know what I saw. Stay the hell away from me."

[ ] And at that he did not recall Flame noticed he was hyperventilating, and stared back helplessly at that he could feel as he felt the last thread of connection slip away. For one, fleeting moment, he was back in Spearhead Valley, alone and mistrusted. That dead, heartless rock of a leader had returned. He ought to say something—anything!

"T-tell me, then," he crossed his shaky arms. "If I used to be a Scum, how come I speak your language and, and not theirs?"

Perhaps it’s not quite your intent, but given that Alice isn’t really saying anything in the last few blocks, you probably want to hint at her state of mind through her body language or the like. Like here, if Flame thinks that Alice is additionally doubting him alongside Gaius, that would definitely panic him. Since he’d literally be without an advocate and it’d better lean into the sense of him suddenly feeling alone and cornered again like in Chapter 1.

The place in brackets seems like a logical place to drop that in, but it doesn’t have to be specifically there to pull off the effect.

Also, I’m still proud for calling that this was where the argument was ultimately going to wind up going for getting Gaius off Flame’s back.

The argument streamed out of his mouth on its own accord. Preemptively he scolded himself for wasting his only chance, saying something so pathetic, yet the Grovyle did not answer.

Gaius opened his mouth as though to speak, uttered monosyllables, then stopped. Unable to come up with an answer, Gaius buried his forehead into his palm, letting out a growl in between heavy breaths.

Oh hey, Gaius is doing the “grohno” emote. :V

Alice: "Gaius. Are you really going to not trust Flame over being offended about a secondhand comment about your accent even though you and I both know that logically Flame most likely isn't Scum let alone loyal to them?"
Gaius: "Yes?"
- Alice narrow eyes -
Alice: "While we're in the middle of a Mystery Dungeon that's a giant ice cave?"
- Gaius pause and falter -
Gaius: "Blugh... fine. But for the record, Flame, I'm still getting even with you for that comment earlier if we make it through this!"

"I know what we saw is troubling," Alice sent an uneasy glance at them both. "But, please, not while inside the dungeon. Who knows what—"

When faint footsteps echoed throughout the room, the group instinctively jerked their heads towards the source. Not a second later, two jets of fire converged on the poor Sneasel who'd snuck into the limelight up on them. It dropped to the ground face-down, twitching, wisps of fire still licking its fur.

inb4 this is what doomed them to that encounter with the Sneasel in Chapter XIV. I didn’t quite realize that they’d had knifecat problems even this early on.

Team Phalanx just stood there for some time, eyes wide, now aware of the orchestra of footsteps and growls echoing from all around. They leaked through the walls, which all of a sudden seemed made of paper rather than something solid.

"Look—you've attracted an entire audience," Alice narrowed her eyes at them, whispering. "Do you intend to continue bickering?"

Flame: “N-No, moving along now sounds pretty good.” o_o;

Flame got up on his feet, avoiding his leader's eyes.

"Don't think I'm done with you," Gaius said. "Smartass…"

Without asking, Flame marched in front of his teammates, leading his teammates down one of the passageways. Here the walls and ceiling were considerably smaller, so the light from his tail brightened enough to show up their immediate surroundings and then some. Once again, he stared in amazement at the solid ice wall, scraped his claws as if to test its veracity. The stinging cold forced him to flinch back.

In fact, It partly surprised him that whatever sick consciousness shaped mystery dungeons had covered the floor with thick snow rather than ice. Perhaps he ought to have been thankful[/b], he dared not think of had no idea how they'd navigate about otherwise. He didn’t want to think of what that’d be like.

Would recommend breaking up that big paragraph there into two and changing a bit of phrasing slightly.

Flame: “Great, so for all we know, most of Task Force Aegis is dead, Gaius hates my guts now, and we’re stuck in a freezing Mystery Dungeon with ferals out for our blood. Could things possibly be going any worse ri-”
Gaius: “You finish that sentence and I’ll gut you where you stand.” >:(
Flame: “... Right. That’d be tempting fate, wouldn’t it?” o_o;

Wind blew past them, kissing his scales with sharp daggers. He nearly asked out loud how wind could possibly form in such a place, only to remember that mystery dungeons needed no reason. Whatever their phenomena inside, they just were. At least his fire kept him warm.

Behind him, someone groaned. He stopped briefly, and peeked behind him just as another gust of frigid wind flooded the small cave. Gaius had his arms wrapped around his own chest, looking down at the floor, while Alice quivered in place, as though seized by brief spasms.

How selfish to think of himself: if the wind had bothered even him, a being of fire, how horribly must it affected his teammates! [One dragon and one grass, both vulnerable to cold.] Surely one floor exposed to this temperature was unbearable for them, and suppose the anomaly continued for four, seven, fifteen floors? A lump formed in his throat.

It’s optional, but considering how Alice very specifically mentioned that winter was a brutal season for her and Gaius, it might make sense to throw in a callback to that when Flame realizes that Alice and Gaius are terrible fits for the MD they are in.

"Hey … can you two walk?" he bit his lip, unsure what to say. "You can stick close to my tail if it helps."

Alice broke off her shivering to look him in the eye. "Sorry. It's … it's the shift in temperature. T-too abrupt, but it's nothing I haven't managed before. Slowing down will only worsen our situation."

Gaius did not speak, but only stared at the floor. [ ]

It might just be me, but it might make sense to expand Gaius’ paragraph there to give more insight as to how he’s ticking. For instance, is he doing this because of pride of not wanting to be dependent on a ‘mon he deeply distrusts out of this point? Does Flame wonder that to himself? Lots of possibilities for peel back the curtain there.

"Are you sure?" he said quickly. "What if it gets so cold that you can't walk?"

The Dragonair let out a small smile. "The only thing worse than cold is loneliness. At least there's that."

Gaius kept looking straight down. "So what, we die together instead of alone?"

"We won't die," Flame said instinctively reflexively. "I'll keep you warm."

"Yeah, says the one with the fire…"

Flame sighed quietly, his breath condensing into a puff of steam. The hostility in his leader's voice cut deep into his scales just as much as the wind. And to think that just this morning he thought he had the Grovyle's favour within his grasp…

Flame: “Whelp, back to square one with Gaius, I guess.”
Gaius: “Considering how for all we know, those Scum showed up because of you, no. There is no square one. We’re just sticking together until we’re out of this frozen hellhole!” >:(

Perhaps he was being melodramatic again and overreacting at his teammates' valid concerns. It had only been a week, after all—to expect any sort of unconditional trust from them was misguided at best, if not naive. As if he might faint at the suggestion that they did not like him fully! But he'd been there by their side, his thoughts protested, fought—

No, he couldn't get distracted now. The situation was grave enough without his thoughts wandering about, as they always did.

I honestly still stand by my read that Flame was once a slave even before his immediate history before winding up in the Spearhead Mountains. For the sheer degree to which he just goes full doormat for Team Phalanx in the earlier parts of the story and engages in self-debasement, it feels like a behavior that someone who is very unused to being able to get in protest or push back without negative consequences for it would wind up developing.

The incessant dripping echoing throughout the cave only became louder. He couldn't quite see any himself though, and—was that running water he heard? He looked down at the floor. It had to have come from somewhere inside the ice. Within minutes of walking, the dripping sounds multiplied to one every few seconds, and they soon discovered its source.

The room was large—that much they could tell, since even his fire could not so much as touch the ceiling, nor anything beyond their immediate vicinity. From somewhere within the darkness came a symphony of water drops trickling from the ceiling, followed by audible splashes.

He advanced with a cautious step, holding his tail tip forth with a paw. And he would have taken another one, had he not noticed a sudden depression in the ice flooded by water where his foot would have landed.

"It's a lake," he said, taking a step back. "If there's no way to cross it, we might have to go back."

Flame: "Uh... Alice, are you sure that you can't fly-?"
Alice: "Flame!" >:(
Flame: "What? It was worth a shot!"

Surrounded on almost all sides by darkness, and just barely able to make out his teammates behind him, he entertained the idea of shooting tongues of fire ahead to light up his surroundings.

He growled to nobody in particular. "Where do I even start?"

"Hold on,” Alice insisted. “Th-there's a technique I haven't tried in a long time."

The Dragonair shut her eyes, raised her snout, fighting to hold still against the shivers wracking her form. Then, the orb beneath her neck and the two on her tail shone to life, showering the room with a gentle, cerulean glow.

Wait a minute, is that Flash that Alice is using there? I didn’t know that Dragonair could learn that.

Now, everything became clear. The room they were in was not in fact much larger than the one they'd woken up inside. Near transparent stalactites hung from the ceiling like threads, from which droplets trickled down. Tiny ripples shook the water with each droplet landing inside. On the other end of the room was another stretch of solid land—if a slab of ice covered with snow could be called such—but he couldn't quite see, for Alice suddenly cut the glow and entered a coughing fit.

She arched her neck down just shy of the floor, breathing heavily. "A-Arceus, my aura's in really poor shape…"

Gaius, shoulders hunched forth and arms glued to his own chest, and shot her a look. "You never told me you could do that."

"I haven't p-p-practiced my aura in years," she said, fighting back a fit of shivers.

"Why not?" Flame said. He had a half mind of saying she looked majestic in that pose, but decided against it—too upfront, he thought.

"I'm … I'm just not very good at it," Alice mumbled in a shaky breath.

Oh, so that’s why Alice is flight-challenged in this story.

He could sense there was more to the matter, but decided not to pry deeper. and At once Gaius snapped at him, said they'd all freeze to death by standing around. Part of him wanted to exit this chamber at once, but there might have been unseen bridges to the other shore.

He Flame shot a tongue of fire over the water, though it lasted but just a couple moments, he could have sworn he saw an irregularity in the ice. An opening, but not quite like the one they'd arrived from—it looked vaguely like…

Wait. Am I seeing things?

He breathed fire again, this time sustaining the column for a longer duration. From the corners of his vision, he scanned the far end of the room—now bathed in blazing orange—until he found the anomaly. There it was: a set of steps carved neatly into the ice, unmistakable in nature.

Flame: “Of course the stairs would be stuck across the lake of freezing water.” >.<

His fire breath cut entirely. The room once again plunged into darkness outside of his immediate vicinity.

"This has to be some sort of sick joke," he muttered, clouds of condensate forming with every word.

"What?" Gaius spat. "What's so important?"

"The staircase. It's on the other side of this room."

The Grovyle stared at him. "You're kidding, right? No way I'm taking a swim. Th-there has to be another way around."

"I d-don't think I saw any land bridges, either," Flame swallowed quickly.

Gaius: “Alice, are you sure you can’t fly-”
Alice: “Gaius! Asking the question again doesn’t change the answer!” >_>;

Unthrilled by the prospect of diving, he let loose another blaze of orange—Alice and Gaius confirmed there was no visible passage or walkway to the other shore.

No, no, no, no… he walked back and forth along the water's edge. If the cold's wearing us down, the water will outright kill us. I—they'll never make it outside.

Exploring both ends of the lake revealed nothing remotely hopeful: no hidden strips of rock they'd missed, no tunnels, only dark, oily water. And so all would be lost, he thought—he'd have to haul their frozen carcasses on his back, assuming he didn't shrivel up into a ball and solidify even sooner.

"The lake," Alice pointed with her tail. "It seems to be the shallowest right here."

Indeed, a closer inspection of the water revealed a detail he hadn't paid heed to: one could clearly make out its bottom. Were he to attempt a crossing, glued to the far wall, the water would rise to directly below his knee.

Gaius: “... Considering the ambient temperature, how on earth is this not a recipe for the lot of us to get frostbite from that water freezing onto us when we make it to the other end?”
Alice: “Look, the alternative is hypothermia from trying to swim directly across the lake. So pick your poison here, Gaius.”

He Flame knelt down near the edge. With great hesitation, he lowered a paw into the water—only to draw it back seconds later, biting back a cry, his claws shaking uncontrollably and pulsing with pain. At once he understood how other species must have experienced fire.

Flame stood up shakily, looking at the water as if it were some towering beast. He couldn't make it, the words formed in his throat, he just couldn't. He'd only turn into ash and dissolve if he tried, freeze into tiny ice chunks.

Flame: “Er… yeah, I think that I’m with Gaius on this one here.”

"… Flame?" said Alice.

His eyes met hers, and a vague feeling of shame filled his cheeks. That was when he understood: despite the inexplicable events linked to that Dusknoir, his teammates trusted him on a subconscious level—he was their light, their sole source of warmth!

No, he couldn't complain. He needed to be strong. If not for himself, for them.

Their guiding light, even.
854473839756705812.png


Flame: “I-I mean, if you’re sure it will work, Alice…”
Gaius: “Oh my gods, are you seriously letting your damn crush win out here? This is a terrible idea and we all know it!”
Alice: “Yeah, well sitting here and freezing onshore is an even worse idea, so chop chop. Into the narrow section, Gaius.”

It was only fair, after all. For his teammates suffered winter yearly; and now he would suffer alongside them.

Wait a minute, is this supposed to be above the scene break cutting to the next floor? Since it feels like it logically ought to come right after Flame’s line about needing to be strong for his teammates, but it’s here at the top of the cut to B2F of Boreal Chasm.

As he Flame stopped to examine a bifurcation fork in the corridor, Alice and Gaius in tow, he mused that it could have been much worse. Granted, his legs still felt excruciatingly numb, and moisture lingered on his scales—but that wasn't what truly worried him. It was the drop in temperature. All of them felt it.

One need not witness the puffs of smoke exhaled with every breath to realise as much—they all resembled angry Charizard right now, he mused. Having crossed a lake seemed like a more disastrous decision with each passing moment. The dampness on their lower bodies would not quite dry off, which in turn only magnified the cold.

Gaius: “I warned you all that that was a gods-awful idea-” >.<
Alice: “Look, we made it to the next floor alright? I-It’s still a net positive!” >_>;

He chose a direction at random; they looked no different to him. Nothing in mystery dungeons made sense. Although he was supposed to keep his attention forward at trained ahead for possible threats, he couldn’t help but averted turn his gaze back to his teammates, couldn't help it.

Something locked in his throat whenever he looked at them. Perhaps it was Gaius' posture, hunched over with his arms in self-embrace clutching tightly against his body as though he wanted to ball up, or the dazed look in Alice's eyes that stared into nothingness as she shivered.

"Are you feeling all right? M-maybe you need to rest?"

Alice: “N-Nrgh…”
Gaius: “Gee, what do you think?!” >.<
Flame: “I was hoping that you were doing better than you looked.” ._.

Gaius grunted. "Stop asking. Can't … concentrate."

"C-could we please slow down?" Alice said in a near-whisper. "My underside … it feels like one with the ice it’s frozen to the ground. Everything is does, really."

[ ]


"Oh. Just try to stay close to me, okay? It can't be much longer now."

You probably want to slip in a reaction from Flame after Alice’s line there, since his teammates are really obviously not doing well, and presumably he has something to say or think about it internally.

Alice nodded quietly, but didn't seem to have fully understood Flame’s reassurance. Gaius merely made another grunting noise in reply.

Flame felt a sense of helplessness took hold of him Flame. Already He shuffled over to stood stand close to the two in an attempt to gift pass along any possible speck of his body heat.

Truly, though, what more What else could he even do right now? To Huddling around a campfire exposed them to extraordinary danger from ferals, and even then, building one was simply impossible in these conditions. Ice and snow did not didn’t exactly make for good campfire material.

Every neuron in his brain screamed that the two desperately needed warmth, and unless there was some item in their bags that Gaius hadn't told him of beyond the oran berries and seeds he could recall, —just oran berries and seeds, as he recalled—his very body remained as its their only viable source. The realisation only made him feel more nervous, realising just how much responsibility the very fate of his teammates lay on his shoulders.

Flame: “Yeesh, no pressure there.” ._.;
Gaius: “A-Argh… I’m starting to think of trying that whole ‘eating a Blast Seed’ idea to see if Virgo was onto something.”
:grohno:

Alice: “Well, even if that wasn’t suicidally stupid in this setting, we obviously don’t have any to work with right now since if we did, we’d have used them to fight off the Scum.” >_>;

Suddenly, the corridor ended when an icy wall blocked their path, featuring only a narrow rift on ground level, just ample big enough for a pokémon like him his size to crawl through. He knelt down, looked through the fissure, and saw that there was indeed another room on the other side. It seemed tame in comparison to previous tricks the dungeon had in store for them. At the very least this corridor wasn't blocked off by debris like some others.

Parts of him didn't quite find the idea of crawling through a hole attractive, though. He considered suggesting to his teammates that they head back, when he remembered just how lengthy and arduous the path to get here had been. If the only alternative was to make his freezing teammates climb all that way through all of that again, then he'd rather try take his chances.

"I'm going to see what's on the other side, okay?" Flame said. "Come in when I give you the all-clear. If you hear something, just … shoot fire at it."

"O-okay," Alice said in a breath.

"I won't take too long. Promise."

Flame: “U-Ulp… here goes nothing…” ._.

He lay down on his belly, and, without hesitation, dragged himself inside using his forearms. Immediately he registered discomfort at having ice scraping against his elbows and skull. It reminded him of how little maneuvering space he had. Albeit Even though the hole was clearly large enough to fit him all the way through, that didn't stop his mind from turning to horrible thoughts of becoming stuck in such a cramped space.

Then his legs and tail slipped fully inside the fissure, and his breathing increased quickened tenfold—but no, it was too late to back out now. It took but a few seconds of hurried crawling to reach the other end of the hole, where a larger room waited to be discovered. The thought of ferals passed through his mind, and how defenceless he'd be were one to greet him on the other side.

I really didn't think this through, did I?

If you have to ask the question…

Aware of any possible dangers, he lingered for a moment with only his head exposed to the room, listening intently. There came dripping and the shrilling of Zubats, but nothing that sounded too close by. He crawled the last stretch and rose to his feet, his tail light flooding the multitude of stalactites and stalagmites jutting from seemingly every centimetre of space.

Suddenly, a faint squeaking noise filled the air. It came from above.

Flame: “Oh god. Seriously, can’t I catch a break here?!”
:uhhh:


Flame scarcely had the time to cry out before a pair of teeth sunk into his back, and pain rushed shot through his spine. and, seized by Flame jolted up in terror, and reflexively he threw his back against the wall behind him. The loss of balance caused him to slip and slide onto his rear, but whatever was attacking him did not wasn’t relenting.

His paws scrambled behind his back to remove the thing himself, pain mounting with each second. His claws grasped round something cartilaginous, and he yanked with all his might. The feral shrieked. A sickly rip filled the air.

Flame pulled Inspecting the contents of his paw back in front of him and inspected its contents, where he found a twitching, severed wing resembling that of a Golbat. Blood trickled from the little muscle tissue and onto his claws and wrist. He tossed the bloodied appendage away in recoiling in disgust.

I can see you’re not exactly a super fan of Zubat-line ‘mons given that’s the second one in this story that Flame has permanently grounded. :V

Thankfully, the pain radiating from his back eased at once. The Golbat squeaked and writhed, it unlatching from his scales only to fall to the ground face-down, flapping its remaining wing pathetically.

Flame sat still to regain his breath as the adrenaline in his veins gradually faded away. He shut his eyes, and with a deep breath, reached a paw behind his neck and slid it down to check where exactly the feral had bitten him.

Did it poison me? I don't think it did. Otherwise, I'd be feeling dizzy right about now.

Flame: “Oh thank goodness, something’s going my way for once in this story." o_o;

He hissed lightly upon touching one of the teeth marks puncture wounds. There were four in total, yet only the top ones actually seeped blood. He bought his claws before his eyes. Trickles, at best. He figured he could leave the wound to heal on its own.

Noticing that the Golbat was still squeaking out loud in vain, he shot a fireball that silenced the bat for good.

I wonder how well barbecued Golbat tastes anyways. :V

"F-Flame?" Alice's feeble question came through the fissure. "A-Are you alright? What's happening?"

"It was just a Golbat," he exhaled, shifting closer to the hole to make light. "N-nothing too serious. You can come over, now."

It’s going out on a limb on my part, but you probably want to make Alice sound a bit more worried assuming she could hear Flame’s death match with the feral Golbat on the other end. Since… yeah, assuming she’s still lucid, she’d have good reasons to worry that Flame is still in one piece.

Silence followed. He waited what felt like minutes, but probably amounted to less, then crouched down to look inside the hole.

"Did you hear what I said? Crawl through it like I did."

"Huh? O-oh, sorry," Alice's voice came from beyond the wall. Even when accounting for the ice in between them, she sounded worryingly quiet.

Flame: “A-Alice?” ._.

Flame He held his tail by the fissure's exit to make light. Slowly but surely, she entered her Alice’s head poked out, followed by her serpentine body. Flame never realized how long Alice was uncoiled, and it was admittedly a little weird to imagine her body stretched out in one straight line. In normal conditions, one barely noticed such detail, curled up as she was—why was she taking so long? He peeked inside.

The first thing that caught his attention was her breathing: it was much heavier than it should have been, and only became heavier with each movement. Once closer to the opening, she stopped moving altogether, eyes squeezed shut, mouth wide as if to gasp.

Flame: “A-ALICE!” O.O

"I … don't think I can make it …"

Flame felt his heart accelerate. This was it, his teammates’ strength was giving out their energies were dwindling. [ ] "Don't be like that. Here, I'll help you out."

He offered her a paw through the fissure.

Probably want to expand Flame’s thought process to have him turn to trying to encourage his teammates to continue on, since he should logically be panicking pretty hard right about now, but we don’t really see the gears in his head turn all that much as readers.

She half opened her eyes to look at him, struggling to form words. "No, not that. Th-the cold…"

Regardless, he slipped both paws just underneath her head and dragged the front of her body front section out. A small, yet essential detail registered the moment his claws made contact with her scales. They felt cold to the touch. Frighteningly cold. Now her head stood level to his, the entire length of her body inside the room. He touched her forehead.

"You're freezing."

Alice let out a weak chuckle, immediately interrupted by violent coughs. "Couldn't quite tell by myself … d-doctor."

Flame could not help but sigh. "Come on, this isn't the time."

Flame should be careful what he wishes for, since somehow I doubt Alice whimpering in obvious discomfort and pain from the cold would’ve really made him feel better than her trying to crack a joke in a bad situation.

While admittedly it did help exasperate him As exasperating as Alice’s attempt to make light of her situation was, it also represented a sign that she hadn't surrendered completely to numbness. The only thing worse than a shattered body was a shattered spirit.

Oh hey, Flame basically acknowledged my point there. :V

Soon enough, his attention was diverted when another voice came through the wall. Rather, it was a collection of groans, breathing, and jumbled curses. Flame released Alice from his hold, and hastily knelt down to assist his teammate.

Gaius lay on his belly, his face was writhed contorted horribly and his eyes screwed shut. Flame though he could not tell whether it was from pain or physical effort, or a some combination of both. He was deeper into the hole than Alice was, closer to the other side.

"I—I can't move my…" Gaius cut the sentence short with a gasp, attempting to drag himself by the forearms. "S-stuck. Do something!"

Flame: “... I’d ask if I really want to help you right about now considering all the crap you’ve heaped on me, but… uh… yeah, you really don’t sound good right now, Gaius.” ._.
Gaius: “Gee, what ever tipped you off, genius!” >_>;

Wincing from the glare shot in his direction, Flame lay down himself and inserted his own arms in the fissure, carefully interlocking claws with Gaius' and slowly pulling the Grovyle out in the much wider room.

Immediately Flame detected a certain discomfort—distant, almost—in his leader's face.

"Gaius? What's wrong?"

The Grovyle said nothing; stared down at his claws trembling uncontrollably. He attempted to flex each digit individually, but only half of them on each paw fully complied with the movement.

Flame felt shivers ripple through his back when he noticed that nearly all of his leader's claws had grown pale—not quite white, but certainly not green, either. His heart fluttered wildly at the sight. It was frostbite.

Actually, wait. That reminds me, but how does Flame know what frostbite is in setting again? Or else is this one of his residual memories that’s helping him connect the dots and an “... Oh.” moment?

Flame: "Uh... If I were to give a little Ember at your paw, would it-?"
Gaius: "That's not how fixing this works, jackass!"

He Flame studied his teammates' faces thoroughly, and then he clutched his chest as though to fight the pain that suddenly wracked it as after he realised they both bore expressions of were visibly suffering. Brows scrunched, lips twitching, teeth periodically gritting, and now frostbite. How could he have been so blind to it all?

He took a step back, attempting to restore reorder to his chaotic thoughts.

They Alice and Gaius were both deep into the jaws of hypothermia. On the second floor. It was still just the second floor. All his previous hopes of resisting until the fifth or eighth floor vanished. At this rate, death would claim them both within the next hour unless if he didn’t do something.

Gaius: “Th-There’s eight floors of this?!
:grohno:

Flame: “Th-That was just a hypothetical! We don’t know that!”

And then wind howled past them again, and Alice made a whimpering noise (so his heart shrank) while Gaius fell on all fours, trying to form words—no doubt curses—but failing.

See, I told you that Alice attempting to make light of things would make you feel better than the alternative, Flame.

"Guys?" he said, taking position in between them.

He reached out with his paw, and stroked the Dragonair's forehead. Her eyes widened at the touch—presumably due to his body heat, as indicated by her pressing into his palm. His free paw clutched Gaius', who reacted much the same way.

Such is life as a reptile. Though Flame’s really lucky there’s not a ton of snow flying around in the cave air right about now, otherwise his tail flame would likely have similar problems to being stuck out in the rain.

"Please, listen to me. I know it must be hard for you. But you have to resist. I'll—I'll make sure we get out of here alive. Okay?"

He did not catch what Gaius said in response, though he could only imagine its nature.

"… Not your fault," Alice mumbled, eyes glazed over. "Don't worry about it."

"Nonsense," he said. "You two need warmth, and you need it right now. I won't leave you to die."

Gaius: “Y-Yeah, and how exactly are you gonna do that?
Flame: “Look, we just need to find an insulated pocket somewhere. Then if you can just stick around me…”

Flame let go of his teammates and got up on his feet, fuelled by a newfound resolve. The idea in his mind was relatively simple: share his body heat until the two of them were in an acceptable enough condition to at least walk. Yet several obstacles arose with that option immediately complicated his goal.

Huddling together inside an open room like the one he was currently standing in, or even a corridor, meant was a complete nonstarter. Too much of his warmness natural warmth would dissipate into the surroundings to truly have any meaningful a healing effect—not to mention the threat from wandering ferals. If such a plan were to work, he'd need to find a small, secluded spot from where his body heat wouldn't escape.

Inspecting the room, he saw stalactites hanging menacingly above his head, one—no, two tunnels leading out, no refuge to hide—ah! In a corner of the room he'd failed to see before, the ceiling sloped down closer and closer to the ground until it formed a small alcove with an entrance no taller than his waistline. Parts of him were skeptical: it resembled some Sneasel's nest more than anything else. But right now, it represented their best chance for survival.

That first paragraph can probably afford to be broken off in about the same spot in my suggestion. Makes both halves smoother to read.

Flame: “Hey, guys. You know how feral Ledyba are supposed to huddle for warmth in tight spaces in the winter, right?”
Gaius: “Yes? But we’re not Ledyba, so where are you going with-”
- Gaius looks over at the alcove and puts two and two together -
Gaius: “O-Oh hell no, we’re finding a different option than that!
:grohno:


"I know what to do. Follow me," he tugged on Gaius' arm, a hopeful smile growing on his cheeks, willing to drag them both if necessary.

Fortunately, that was not the case things didn’t have to come to that, for both reluctantly followed him to the corner of the room. Once there, whereupon he got on his knees, lowered his head, and signalled them to do the same. The alcove was just tall enough to sit inside. Albeit While cramped, that very same attribute made it perfect for sharing what little warmth could be found. [ ]

Might make sense to either add a sentence or extend the last one directly such that Flame can immediately feel a difference, even if slight, once nearing the alcove to tell that his hunch is onto something.

Alice poked her head inside, saw nothing of note, breathed in quickly. "Wh-why would we…?"

Flame put his paw on the back of her neck. "You'll have to trust me on this. I can keep you warm."

She blinked multiple times, eyes struggling to focus properly on his face. Gaius sent him a sideways look, but thankfully did not have the energy to argue. they Both of them crawled inside the alcove and sat against its far wall.

He followed suit on his paws and knees, and plopped himself in between them, aware of the icy ceiling pressing against his head, ushering forth and the damp, unpleasant sensations feeling it had rubbing up against his scales. He looked from side to side, meeting his teammate's gazes. Both sat close enough to touch his legs, perhaps subconsciously drawn to his warmness. Both stared at him in mixed confusion and unease.

"Okay, okay. How do I make this work…" he reasoned out loud.

Gaius: “Flame, this is more than close enough already! Any closer, and we’ll literally be piled up one against the other!” >_<;
Flame: “Yes. That’s the idea. You’re frostbitten, being away from warmth is about the last thing you need right now, Gaius.”

His first feeling was to wrap either the two in the tightest of embraces, press as much of his skin as possible against theirs, whisper words of encouragement. Yet, that could only work on one of them at a time. How, then, could the other make similar contact with his body?

[She did not even have arms, after all.]

Wait. That's it.

Turning to his left, where Alice sat, he wrapped his arms delicately round her middle, and slid down so that they both lay on the ground. Then, in one motion, he shifted onto his side, spun her body to face him, then closed the remaining distance between them. She posed resistance at first, struggled, only to cease stop mere seconds later and let out an audible gasp, before pressing her forehead into his chest.

"Warm…" she murmured with her eyes clenched shut.

Something about the last sentence feels a bit jarring. Since everything about the paragraph except the last sentence is focused on Team Phalanx on a whole, but the last abruptly jumps to Alice without transition. It might be worth splitting it off into its own paragraph and expanding it. Something like the following might be worth considering:

[ It was already hard to wrap his head around the problem with Gaius, but Alice… where would he even start there? She didn’t even have arms to interlock with! Why she’d have to coil around him in order to stay warm, and…]

Flame: “Er... I’m not doing something super immodest for your species right now, am I, Alice?” ._.;
Alice: “No! No! You’re fine! Just stay perfectly still for a while…” O///O
Gaius: “Flame, for the love of the gods, just build a fire already!” >.<
Flame: “With what materials, Gaius?”

An indescribable joy filled him at that single word. What came next felt quite natural to do: he clutched his arms even tighter, wrapping his legs round her lower body, with her tail reflexively hooked onto his. She let out a soft coo—not of defeat, but of relief.

It's working.

And now an idiotic grin seized his cheeks, one he could not hope to shake off anytime soon.

Flame + Alice: “...” ^///^
Gaius: “... I’m just gonna duck back out and freeze to death right now. And maybe puke from how lovey-dovey you two are getting right now.”
:grohno:


His work was still not complete, however; though. Flame he brought his head back to look at Gaius, and saw that the Grovyle was still sitting in the same position. Staring at him, letting on no discernible emotion.

"Come on, hug my back," Flame said. "What are you waiting for?"

Gaius crossed his arms. Trembling every so often, he turned away without a word.

Flame: "Come on, Gaius. You too."
Gaius: "No. Way."

Just like that, Flame's grin faltered.

"Gaius, please…"

The Grovyle spared him a glance, but nothing further. Seconds passed.

Flame: "Gaius, you're type-weak to this weather, your arm's frostbitten, and if you don't get warmth soon, you're going to freeze to death."
Gaius: "So I can die from shame when Virgo finds out about this? You're not making a very compelling argument here."

"The cold might kill you soon. Is that what you want?"

Gaius looked at him, did not look away, then looked down at his own paws, barely functioning at all. A quiet lament rose from the Grovyle's throat.

"F-fine," Gaius said. "Don't you dare say a word."

And thus, a smile returned to Flame's face. He turned his head back towards Alice, for it was starting to hurt. Not a few seconds later, a pair of arms slid round his back, settling on his chest, and squeezed him as another body pressed against his back. Though chilling, his leader's touch was something special in its own right. Soon Gaius' head rested on his shoulder, too.

Boy is it weird to see how much Gaius’ approval meant to Flame at this point in the story given that the two have more or less had a hard break from each other in the most recent chapters.

Gaius: "I mean it, Flame. Not. A. Word." >///<

Just about every inch of his skin was engulfed by his friends: his chest, back, tail—everything. Their mere presence brought him peace. And As did knowing they were entrusting their lives—him, their only hope! His cheeks flushed profusely. No, [he couldn't dwell on sensation.]

Yet he did exactly that, thinking only of their touch, their coldness, and noticed them trembling every so often. Having the alcove itself made of ice did little to help his cause efforts, but there was no way to counter that. Had he had a blanket of some kind, perhaps it would speed up the recovery process, but he'd have to make do with the few tools available to him.

I’m not really feeling [he couldn't dwell on sensation.] but I am drawing blanks on what I’d suggest as a hard replacement. The easiest place to start would probably be to specify what that sensation he’s feeling is, since it’s not exactly stated explicitly.

Flame barely noticed as his paw settled on the back of Alice's head, running his claws through her feathery wings, as she pressed her nose into his neck. With the same absentmindedness he filled and emptied his lungs more thoroughly, concentrated on his inner embers much like he would do when preparing a fire breath. For some time he worried it might change nothing. But then his tail fire swelled, and Alice relaxed in his hold, and such anxieties vanished into obscurity.

"Thank you," Alice said, voice muffled as she spoke into his neck. "I can hear my own thoughts again. Thank you so much…"

"I … I'm just glad you're feeling well," he said softly.

D’aww. I mean, sure it’s a terrible situation and they have some nontrivial unsettled baggage at this point in the story, but you can’t say the two aren’t cute together.
784725534470963221.png


Gaius: “I’m gagging already.” >.<

The weight on his back then shifted, reminding him of Gaius' presence. Still his leader did not let go, did not relent—to think that he thought death looked preferable not two minutes ago! Now he might as well have melted into his scales, untense relaxed, involuntarily nuzzling his shoulder.

"How about you, Gaius? Does this beat the cold?"

"Sh-shut up," Gaius muttered. [ ]

"What? It's fairly obvious you're enjoying yourself. Can't say I'm useless at everything, huh?"

"… Mention this outside, and I will strangle you."

822923369149890622.png


Though it might make sense to more explicitly depict Gaius being flustered and Flame’s reaction here. It comes through okay in the dialogue, but explicitly painting the picture of something like Gaius turning beet red from embarrassment and Flame soaking things in and getting a bit smug about it would help set the scene better for readers.

Flame: “Love you too, Gaius.”
388785746544427018.png

Gaius: “J-Just shut up and go back to heating us up.” >///<


Flame grinned; for a moment, he entertained teasing his poor leader to no end—perhaps as an informal revenge—but quickly came to the conclusion that it would have come off as immature. There were graver issues to occupy his mind worry about, in any case.

What was I going to do? Oh, right—our bags. There has to be something that can help us escape.

After communicating his intentions, he moved his paws down to her Alice’s middle—her head rested on his arm—and he fiddled with the bag's flap briefly, inconvenienced as he was from this position. He tilted the bag slightly so as to not make anything slide out. His paws roamed freely inside: there were berries gathered in a pouch, uncooked meat wrapped in cloth (remnants of their Gaius’ prior hunting expedition), herbs, a map, and a surprisingly soft—

Flame said nothing as he pulled out the crimson scarf, only stared at it, disbelieving. He tapped Alice's side for attention, dangled it before her wide eyes.

He smiled sheepishly. "It would have … um, come in handy earlier. Oops. Better late than never, I suppose."

Alice: “Er… right. In my defense, it’s not exactly easy to think clearly as a Dragonair when the temperature readings are in negative temperatures.” >///<

Alice stared at it, then laughed, not caring to hide the bitter undertone. "I'm such an imbecile. To think this was the reason I even took it with me…"

"Too much happened in the last few hours. I don't blame you."

With that, Flame held the scarf by its ends, then brought the middle section to her neck, over her orb, wrapping it multiple times until he deemed it firm enough. She smiled up at him in thanks, then proceeded to bury her snout in the crimson fabric.

Flame: “I-It really does look good on you, you know.” ^///^
Gaius: “Flame, I swear to the gods. If you keep this up, I’m literally gonna puke.” >.<
Flame: “Gaius, seriously, just let me have this moment for once!” >_>;

After lingering on her for a few moments, he shifted his attention to the bag's interior again. He sighed. Oran berries would do little to stave off the cold, while the seeds would only work on ferals. At the bottom of the bag, though, his claws made contact with something disc-shaped, and metallic.

What's this?

He extracted the object from the bag: it was a medallion, its metal a lucent yellow. One of the faces, carved in great detail, depicted a heraldic eagle, along with the letters SPQU—a common theme to all things Empire-related. He flipped the medallion.

The other face depicted a large-muzzled dragon with antennae sprouting from its head. His immediate thought was that of the Emperor (what was his name? Hadrianus?) but the words circling the drawing proved otherwise.

ELANIA AUGUSTA · IMPERATRIX HADRIANI

> ELANIA AUGUSTA · IMPERATRIX HADRIANI

Ah yes, the subject of Adrian’s daydreams back in the war room scene. Also, while the plot hasn't explicitly acknowledged it yet, it's pretty obvious from this segment for anyone who studied Imperial-era Roman history or else bothered to use Google for 30 seconds that Alice is (or considering her status in the plot, would have been) an Augusta herself.

When he turned to gaze at Alice, she stared back with eyes wide, not quite afraid but alert, and he could feel her form tense up from within his hold.

"S-sorry," he quickly shoved the medallion back into the bag.

She softened her face, relaxing ever so slightly. "It's something I keep to … remember. They don't make these anymore in Urbe. Just, uh, don't worry about it."

Flame: "Are you sure you're not royalty, Alice?"
Alice: "Again, Senator's daughter. They're important, but not royalty."
Flame: "But if you were keeping this medallion around as a reminder of good times, shouldn't it say 'Senator' on it?"
Alice: "... It was given out as a party favor during a [Saturnalia] when I was younger. Yeah, let's go with that."
Flame: "... If you say so."

I still find it somewhat hilarious that the core party dynamic between Team Salient from Overthrown and Team Phalanx at this point of the story is basically separated by 5 points of divergence:

- The partners’ species in Overthrown were different and a lot furrier.
- Team Salient’s analogue to Gaius was the surprise royal on that team
- The aforementioned analogue to Gaius had a less poisonous dynamic with his teammates, at least from what I can remember of him
- Team Salient’s analogue to Flame was human with a more complete memory wipe while Flame from everything the story has been building towards here and elsewhere is not
- Team Salient’s “fourth member” was already in play this many chapters into Overthrown, while Team Phalanx is (maybe) building towards getting one in more recent chapters offsite that’s very different in nature and role


Otherwise, they carry a lot of familiar beats between them, including both Gaius and his counterpart in Overthrown getting serious lasting wounds that they have to deal with for an indeterminate time. We’re just far more likely to see Gaius one day get a happy resolution from that than Jay.

I mean, I doubt all of that was fully planned, but it’s still funny to see the two stories echo each other like that. Gives me strong vibes of the sort of dynamic Xenogears and Xenosaga have to each where even though you can pick up on a lot of familiar cues between the two, the end result turns out noticeably different depending on how they’re put together and subtle changes in what one or the other emphasizes.

Well, that and I can’t speak for where Overthrown could’ve gone had it been continued, but I do know that I wouldn’t be writing reviews like these if I weren’t excited about where you were taking your story from what I can gather of what’s coming down the pipe. :V

He nodded in apology once more, avoiding her gaze, then closed the bag's flap. He wrapped his arms round her body, the stone icy against his cheek. As feared, he'd found nothing of use. Of course, food and berries were welcome, but they would not aid in their escape.

What he would give for a blanket right now! Perhaps he ought not to complain, fortunate as they were fortunate to have found even one scarf—but with death creeping in outside of this very alcove, there was no space for thankfulness.

"Flame," Gaius said, breaking his train of thought. "In my bag. Check if I packed the escape orb. Can't remember right now."

Flame: “Wait, the what now?”
Gaius: “You know, Escape Orb? Helps you get out of Mystery Dungeons in a hurry?”

He turned his eyes to the Grovyle's head, which rested on his neck, almost nuzzling his cheek. Even with the gravity of the situation in mind, Flame could not help but pause to take in that detail.

Then, the true significance of those words sunk in. "We have an escape orb?"

Gaius let out a tiny growl. "Check for yourself."

For the record, you probably want to slip in a brief mention in one of either Treehound Cove or Castra Aeterna sequences in passing in which you establish the existence of Escape Orbs in-setting given and maybe some ground rules. Since I would assume that back on B1F, Gaius had a reason for not just popping the Escape Orb right then and there that probably related to what exit it was most likely to bring them to if they used it right there.

Flame: “Wait, if we have one of those, why did we not use that earlier again?” >_>;
Alice: “Because don’t Escape Orbs take you back to the entrance you came from in a Mystery Dungeon?”
- Beat moment -
Flame: “... Right, I think I can see the problem.” ._.

Flame felt one of his leader's arms move away from his chest, withdrawing, and not ten seconds passed when a bag dropped suddenly on his exposed side. He wasted no time in using one elbow to prop himself up slightly, feeling a tinge of guilt as he pushed Alice away to make space. She began shivering almost immediately upon detaching from his scales.

"It'll only be a moment," he sent her a small smile, widening the bag's mouth.

Most of its contents were not dissimilar from Alice's: only berries pooled near the bottom, more seeds, a little wrapped-up parcel that, so far as he could tell by its consistency, contained that whiskey bottle he'd seen his leader stash whilst aboard the ship.

The moment his claws touched rubbed up against a smooth, round object, everything all else lost importance. He pulled it out and held it to his chest protectively. The sphere glistened in his tail light. At its centre it held a foetus nucleus of light, suspended in eternal stillness were it not for aside from the near-imperceptible ripples radiating from its core. Paranoia only made him cradle the orb as a mother would her child, constantly reminded of its glass composition.

Gaius: “... Flame, you’re kinda creeping me out with the way you’re holding that thing right now. What, are you going to hiss ‘my precious’ next?” ._.;

"Thank Arceus," Gaius said, continuing to hold him, whether consciously or not. "I was … I almost left it at Camp Tempest. Thought we wouldn't see a dungeon anyway. Couldn't have been more wrong."

Flame partly ignored those words, already mesmerised by something else. "How do I use it?"

"Just, throw it at something. I think. It should create a rift in the anomaly that allows us to get the hell out of here. Won't last too long, though."

His head shot towards his leader's. "Should?"

Gaius breathed an audible sigh. "Never had to use one before. Wanted to keep it in case our lives were at risk, and … this seems to be it. Arceus, I was really starting to lose it earlier. We can't possibly make it through a dozen more floors like this."


Alice: "... Er… Gaius, we are sure that the pathfinding on these things doesn’t work like it does in the games right? Since if we get brought back anywhere near that plateau path outside Camp Horizon…"
:fearfullaugh:

- Beat moment -
Gaius: "... That wasn’t actually ever established in this story beforehand. But… yeah, I'm gonna second that vote to hold off on using it. If we run into that Scum Dusknoir or his buddies like this, we'll probably wish we froze to death here."
:grohno:


Flame stared down at the orb some more. Here it was, their only means of escape, resting in his claws. He could tell from his touch that the glass casing was not particularly tough. Within it, ripples of light emanated constantly from its core, dissipating upon contact with the casing. The encyclopedia entry pertaining to orbs resurfaced in his mind—astonishing power, those psychics—but the whether to use it immediately. the question remained: when should he use it?

Do I use it right now?

Of course, the idea of being surrounded by ice was no more appealing than having his tail chopped off, but hesitation he hesitated nonetheless took its hold. He looked at Alice, head raised as much as the low ceiling allowed, shifting position every few seconds, failing to hide her shivers. Gaius, on the other hand, continued to cling onto his chest, head resting on his shoulder.

Flame: “Er…”
:uhhh:


The answer soon became quite obvious: no, they weren't quite ready to exit this refuge. His friends had not spent nearly enough time huddled against him to ward off hypothermia completely, and renewed exposure would surely kill them.

"Let's stay like this a little longer," he said, chucked returning the escape orb back into the bag. "I don't think you're in the right state to venture out there again."

Considering how fragile that orb was described to be, Flame probably doesn't want to just ‘chuck’ it back into Gaius’ bag there.

Before either of them could complain, he seized Alice by her middle, and gently lay on his side again. Flame returned the three of them to the same arrangement as before, both tightly pressed against him.

"But—why?" Alice peered up at him from his hold. "The orb creates an exit wherever it senses a weakness in the anomaly. Wh-which is to say anywhere on this floor, really. But … don't you want to get back to safety?"

Flame: “Oh thank god, it won’t just take us back to the entrance we came from.”
Alice: “Er… that’s fine and all, but I’m not sure where exactly it will ultimately take us in that case.” ._.;
Gaius: “Look, as long as it’s not around the army of bloodthirsty barbarians, it’s a net positive. We’ll worry about the rest afterwards.” >_>;

"And if this exit doesn't pop up somewhere obvious, you two could freeze to death,” he insisted. “I'm not taking any chances. As soon as you're a little warmer, we'll use it."

Alice considered his argument briefly. "Ferals are bound to wander through here at some point or another."

He made a small smile, more so for himself than for her. "If anything comes our way, I'll fend it off."

Tentative words of protest came from Alice, before she resigned herself to basking in his warmth.

Alice: “Part of me is still convinced that this is a terrible idea, but… yeah. You had me at ‘warmer’.”
Flame: “Heh, well, it’s a compelling argument, huh?” ^///^

Gaius chuckled weakly, eyes shut. "We're as good as dead, then."

"What are you saying with makes you say that?"

"Nothin'. Just that I've met Pichu scarier than you."

Flame: “Seriously, Gaius?” >.<
Gaius: “I saw you back in Portus, alright? You don’t exactly have a great batting average when it comes to holding your own in a fight.” >_>;

Flame furrowed his brow, then relaxed into a smile. "Is this the thanks I get? It's not like I'm saving your life, or anything."

A groan of sorts arose from Gaius, who tightened his embrace for the umpteenth time. Flame chuckled lightly: to have the Grovyle so much as touch him would have seemed improbable, but to pass so rapidly from partly fearing his leader to snuggling with him on the floor, bodies pressed against another in previously unthinkable intimacy, left much food for thought.

Gaius: “Oh gods, did the text really have to describe it like that?
:grohno:

Flame: “Would you have preferred ‘curling up on each other in a warm cuddlepile’-?”
Gaius: “Flame. Stop. Talking.” >///<

"Shut up. Don't get too cozy with me."

[He chuckled once again; said nothing.]

"Didn't forget about the Dusknoir, either. We're still going to have a talk about that."

I would make the middle paragraph more explicit as to if it’s referring to Flame or Gaius. Also, expand a bit with body language or thought process depending on who that paragraph is referring to.

Flame: “A-About how that was totally a non-sequitur and has nothing to do with the way I am as a ‘mon now?” ^^;
Gaius: “Uh huh, sure...”
Flame: “(U-Ulp. Maybe I shouldn’t be in such a rush to ditch this place.)” O_O;

The mere mention of that caused Flame to tense up all of a sudden. Of course, he wasn't expecting them to: it was only rational to fear links between him and the Empire's foes. After all, especially since scarcely a week had passed since they'd met—a fact he quite obviously needed to remind himself of. Far too many times he'd unconsciously expected from the two trust and devotion barely worthy of that would be unreasonable for a lifelong friend to demand, let alone some stranger picked up out of necessity not too long just days ago.

And yet, here they were. Although it would take some time, Alice and Gaius showed signs of visible recovery, and that was all that mattered. Thus, they simply opted to lay there, unmoving, hearing nothing but the other's breath and the faint dripping of icy stalactites in the background, along with the feeling of stillness that permeated the very air.

Flame: “Gaius? Y-You’re not gonna report me the moment we get back home for sympathizing or something like that, are you?”
Gaius: “...”
:sceptical:

Flame: “G-Gaius?”
:uhhh:

Alice: “Flame, relax. We’ve all been through a lot. Let’s just take a look at the next teaser.”

Narrator: “There is none. At least not at the time of posting.”

Mind you, there’s a couple of options I can think of for here. One that comes to mind offhand is some sort of distress signal being picked up from Camp Horizon to give an idea both of how completely Task Force Aegis has been wrecked, and also potential hints at something amiss with the observed Scum. Since… yeah, they would have very strong reasons to be seriously freaking out right about now considering some events earlier in this chapter.

Flame: "Aw, that's a shame. I was looking forward to getting a hint at what we could expect next."
Gaius: "Mrph. Less talk, more warmth."
Alice: "Yeah, it's not the end of the world if we skip out on a teaser this time, right?"
Flame: "Heh, yeah. I think we'll manage. (Even if part of me wishes Gaius wasn't here to ruin the moment.)"
Gaius: "I heard that!"

Alright, big chapter, and a lot of thoughts to gather. But here we go:

This time around, I’ll lead with the criticisms. Most of it is related to quibbles over places where I feel the wording could be changed or more description could be added that I’m sure have been explained in depth enough throughout this review. The biggie criticism that I haven’t touched on yet, is that this chapter is honestly one that I think you could’ve gotten away with cutting them up into two.

More specifically, the scene depicting Team Phalanx’s escape from Portus and the sack and fall of Camp Horizon and the two scenes in Boreal Chasm are pretty thematically distinct from one another and would be around 7k words a pop. Mind you, it’d probably be a giant pain to reindex without gimmicks outside of FFN and AO3, and you’d have to think of a new title and teaser for a hypothetical “Chapter XIIIS” (“Frigus” wouldn’t be half-bad for that route considering its literal and metaphorical meanings), so I wouldn’t exactly fault you for sticking to your guns and keeping it all one big Chapter XIII. Especially since I’m not exactly ‘Mr. Compact Chapter’ myself in my portfolio.

While Rebirth occasionally cops some flack about an oppressive-feeling early run, most chapters don’t really faze me on that front. Chapter XIII has always been the one that’s been an exception and made me feel uncomfortable at times reading it, even though there’s arguably more carnage in at least one later chapter I can think of that has yet to be published here. I think the culprit it’s probably the whole dynamic going on of Flame finally starting to warm up to Task Force Aegis only for it to all get violently ripped away from him. That said beyond maybe eventually weaseling a couple faces that are presumed KIA like Livia to somehow still be alive, I don’t think there’s really anything that I’d change about the scenario. After all, Flame needs the deck cleared for meta reasons to not be stuck around Aesernia Province constantly, and it’s a brutal world with death never too far off in waiting. Sometimes the audience just needs to be made uncomfortable and get a good gut punch to remind them of that, kinda like how PMMM wouldn’t work as well as it does as a show without its infamous third episode.

That’s not to say that I didn’t have fun with this chapter. I quite enjoyed revisiting it and seeing how differently things read with a fresh mind and context from the later run in the story in mind. And it was fun to see the layers get peeled off Flame again, and his tentative attempts to try and patch together a proper bond with Team Phalanx. I mean, they still had serious systemic issues with their dynamic that are just now finally getting the properly working through in the offsite version of the story, but it’s fun to look back at earlier versions of your cast, as well as to try and pick up hints here and there of the ‘mons they will become, and the ‘mons that they used to be.

Kudos @Shadow of Antioch , and I’ll be looking forward to seeing your version of your story here catch up with your lead version. And someday soon leaving you feedback on your chapters as they come here from right here on TR.
 
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Chapter XV: Severance

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XV: Severance


GENERAL VALENTINIAN ARRESTED IN TREASON PLOT

This morning of 15th October, 745 AUC, Praetorian Guard units stationed in Hadrianopolis arrested the provincial commander Valentinian Garchomp, as well as his military entourage. Reports distributed from Supreme Commander Sycorax indicate that Valentinian had crafted plans to have his soldiers acclaim him as Augustus and launch a revolt against His Majesty, and was in the final stages of enacting his plot at the moment of the arrest.

Reacting to the news, Sycorax remarked ironically that the outcome was "the best this traitor could have asked for", as, if he hadn't been caught in time, then he would have faced "the full wrath of Our Benefactors"— no doubt referring to the attempted revolt of General Magnentius, whose army was purged from existence mere hours after being illegally acclaimed as Augustus in 732 AUC.


-Front-page article for the news publication Urbe Cotidie.


It occurred to Flame that he was no longer cold. Much to his dismay, a dull, soft warmth enveloped his entire body, yet it barely registered against the crushing fatigue that weighed against his every muscle. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by what little light could filter through the leather roof above him. When he shifted a paw to try to rub his face, he noticed that a thin blanket was covering him. And when he raised his head to check, he noticed that he was inside a leather tent packed with pokémon.

Flame collapsed his head to the ground and let out a muffled groan, rubbing a claw up and down his nose. Still, the question of why he was warm, and why that sensation troubled him so greatly, remained unanswered. Besides, where the hell was he?

I should just go back to sleep… he thought, tearing his blanket away from his chest area.

Tiny insects bit away at his insides as he pushed himself into a seated position, and a sudden spell of dizziness overtook him. He looked down at his covered legs: there was his tail, peeking from underneath the blanket, a measly spark trembling on its tip. The sight formed a cold pit in his stomach.

But as he stared at it, he noticed another, bluer tail both peering from underneath the blanket right next to his.

Flame turned his head to find a familiar Dragonair lying next to him. She stared back at him, her eyes wide in anticipation.

"Flame!" she gasped hoarsely and buried her nose into his shoulder, his arms instinctively locking around her neck.

"Oh, um, hey…" he stammered out, accepting the embrace despite his growing confusion.

After a few seconds, she drew back, breathless, and her tired eyes searched for his. She was still wearing the crimson scarf he'd given her, despite the new tears in its fabric.

"Arceus, I thought—you, you wouldn't wake up," she blurted out. "Th-the nurses said you were stable, but it's been hours since then and I couldn't help but think that … I'm so glad you're okay…" her look of relief faded. "Um, are you okay?"

Flame did not know what to say. Being subject to this much attention only made him feel more flustered.

"No. Not really," he mumbled as he ran a claw along the swollen scar tissue running down the length of his arm. Last he'd seen it, the wound was just one of many that were bleeding profusely. That was no longer the case, though his body still felt like he'd been trampled by a pack of Rhyhorn.

Squinting his eyes to see through the blur, he spun his head around to make sense of his surroundings. Muffled sunlight leaked through the leather walls of the tent. Around him, dozens of pokémon lay on makeshift blankets, packed close to one another in varying degrees of consciousness. The lanes separating each row of patients was filled with nurses rushing back and forth with bandage rolls and berries in their arms.

"Where are we?"

Alice looked down, doing her best to slow down her breathing. "Camp Tempest."

Flame sat in silence for a moment as he processed the implications of that. "So … in Aesernia? H-how?"

"I don't know. The nurses won't tell me," she squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep intake of air. "They've barely even talked to me this whole time."

He looked at her, laying a paw on her middle. "And, how long have you…?"

"Hours," she whispered. "Maybe more. All they did after I woke up was list off my injuries and left me here for Arceus-knows how long with nothing to do but wait. Ah, I don't know—it's been hell, okay? I can't think clearly because everything hurts, so, so I tried sleeping but it's impossible knowing that you or Gaius could be dead, and not being able to do a damn thing about it. But now you're here, and—and…" stumbling on her words, she simply buried her nose into his neck again. "Y-you have no idea how good it feels to have someone to talk to."

He allowed himself a warm smile, returning the embrace. The mention of Gaius flashed unwelcome images of ice and suffering to his mind's forefront. He clutched Alice a little tighter, then exhaled deeply to expel the memories. So much had happened, he did not want to deal with those thoughts. He looked behind Alice, then behind himself, finding only an empty patch of blanket where someone was obviously supposed to be.

"Gaius," he looked down at her. "Where is he?"

She pulled back from their embrace, her eyes immediately seeking his. "Th-they took him away after I woke up. For surgery, I suppose. Or, or maybe he was already dead. He looked that way to me. I just—I just don't know."

Flame stared into her eyes a little longer as the weight of everything that had happened piled on. He collapsed his head to the ground, and covered his face with his paws. How had things gotten this bad? Up until two days ago, his vision for the future had been clear enough: make enough money to survive, ensure Team Phalanx a decent existence, and then, perhaps, figure out his old identity. All of that was gone now. Aesernia was dying, Task Force Aegis was already dead, and, last he'd seen him, Gaius was well on his way.

If so, Team Phalanx would no longer exist—and what then? What of him? He still had very little clue who he used to be and why he was unable to remember, and the only solid evidence he'd gathered made him question whether he did want to find out.

He slowly uncovered his face, staring at the tent's ceiling. Feeling increasingly numb with each thought storming his mind, he simply lay there and listened: listened to the nurses shouting orders at one another, listened as they whispered something soft to a sobbing patient, listened to the creaking of cartwheels, to the pained screams coming from somewhere outside the tent.

Maybe that was Gaius, he thought, screaming and writhing as the doctors and nurses sliced his skin open with their instruments. It very well could have been, just as it could have been himself, or Alice being cut open and prodded at on the inside. His body tensed at the mere thought, as if jolted by electricity, and something caught in his throat.

Acting on impulse, he shot a look to his side to make sure she was still there, with him, close to him. Indeed, she was: less than a body's distance away. It took him a moment to realise that their noses were just shy of touching. She stared back at him, her red eyes baring the anxiousness and fatigue that lay underneath. A soft smile crossed his face. He didn't know why, but seeing them up close brought him comfort.

Flame sighed softly and closed his eyes, but when he reopened them, he found she was still watching him. The fact roused questions in his mind, but, instead of feeling bothered, her continued attention spread tingles through his body. No, in fact, he was drawn to return such attention, finding solace in the fact that right here, right now, he was not alone. He could have remained like this forever.

Nothing, not even time registered as he stared into her and she into him, not even their tails touching one another under the blanket. Her continued attention spread tingles through his body. His thoughts tormented him for they no longer had a job, a leader, supplies—but a voice inside him whispered that none of that mattered for now, couldn't matter so long as she was by his side. That everything would be okay.

And then, ever so slightly, Alice smiled at him—her eyes were red, her face read pain all over, yet she smiled. It didn't take long before the cauldron of emotions in her eyes boiled away one by one, until only a certain fondness remained in them, a trance that mirrored the one buzzing inside him.

Almost unconsciously, he was about to slip a paw to her middle when a loud voice from above them jolted them apart. Scrambling to sit up, Flame found himself face-to-face with an unamused Audino wiping her paws with a wet cloth, and alternating looks between him and Alice.

After a few seconds of silence, her eyes settled on him. "Show me your tail."

Flame sat there for a moment, perhaps expecting more warmth in a nurse's voice, and lifted the blanket off his body. The moment he did so, he could not help but cringe. There was a patch of purple scar tissue running across his chest, as well as smaller cuts and bruises that marred his red scales.

That explains why I'm feeling like shit right now… he grimaced.

The nurse seemed unconcerned of his extensive scarring, for she touched his forehead with her palm and held it there for a few seconds. Humming to herself, she drew her paw back and tapped her chin incessantly as she paced back and forth a few steps.

"Hmmm. Body temperature within acceptable range," she mumbled to nobody in particular, then glanced down at his feeble tail fire. "Continued monitoring required, but patients appears outside of danger," she stopped pacing and stared him in the eye. "Do you feel any pain or discomfort?"

Trying not to show his perplexity at how quickly she talked, Flame gave a simple nod. "Yeah. My head's a mess, I can't think clearly, and my … well, everything hurts."

The Audino hummed loudly once more. "Good. To be expected. Blood loss halted, but significant nonetheless. Dizziness and disorientation common symptoms." she shifted her eyes back to him. "Recovery liable to take time."

Losing any and all interest in him, she moved on to Alice. "Proximity to fire-type will aid in recovering from hypothermia. Also means reduced need for rawst berry supplements. Good, good."

It occurred to Flame that he could ask the nurse where Gaius was and if he was still alive; but before he could even open his mouth to speak, she had turned back and briskly stepped out of the tent.

Flame was left there, utterly baffled at how little consideration the nurse had given them. The entire exchange had little more than thirty seconds. He looked towards Alice and she gave him an exasperated look that suggested this behaviour was nothing new.

"What was that?" he murmured, balling the blanket with his claws. "She barely even talked to us."

Alice shook her head, a playful smile itching onto her face. "When they gave me my first meal earlier today, I found out just how sweet rawst berries taste. And then, you took them away from me. I'm starting to rethink how glad I am that you woke up."

Picking up on her jesting tone, he allowed his expression to relax. "I can always go back to dying if you'd prefer."

Chuckling to herself, she rested her head on the ground, refusing to look him in the eye as her voice lowered to a whisper. "Please, don't."

Tired and with an aching back, Flame decided to lie back down and smother himself in the blanket. That was, until he noticed that the same nurse from before had returned with two steaming bowls in her hands. Wordlessly, she laid them down at the foot of their bed, and he saw that they contained some sort of sour-smelling stew with bits of berries floating around.

"Eat," the Audino said, turning back to leave. "Only way to ensure recovery."

After a moment of confusion, Flame's mind connected the dots and realised that there was a question he desperately needed an answer to.

"Nononono, wait! Wait! Miss!" he shouted over the general ruckus in the tent, reaching in her direction with his arm.

Thankfully, the nurse did stop, though the look she gave him caused him to hesitate for a moment.

"I, I need to know about our friend. He's a Grovyle, and they brought him with us, and, uh…"

"You'll see him soon," she said, and left the tent without so much as looking back.

As he sat there staring at nothing in particular, Flame was not sure what to feel. He wanted to be angry at the nurse for paying them so little regard, but frankly, he was simply too tired to care.

Shouting and moaning would change nothing. In the end, lying down and pulling the blanket over his head sounded like the most attractive option right now.

Alice shot him a cautious glance. "At least that means he isn't dead, right?"

Flame shrugged his shoulders weakly. "I guess…"

Sighing internally, his attention shifted to the steaming bowls of soup sitting at the foot of their bed. Though only a minute ago he would have sworn otherwise, the thought of food made him realise just how terribly hungry he was. And thirsty.

He took hold of the bowl and brought it up to his maw, gulping down the sour concoction inside. When he was finished, he let out a tiny sigh of relief as renewed energy entered his system. At least now he wasn't at danger of falling unconscious at any moment.

Licking his lips, he mused that it felt nice for his mouth to taste of something other than vomit for a change.

Doesn't change much, but it's something, he sighed softly, running his claws through the rough fabric of the blanket draped over his legs. A tiny smile formed on his lips, but evaporated just as quickly.

He looked over to his side, and watched Alice take one last gulp of stew, before she lowered her bowl to the foot of her bed. The way she grabbed objects with her tail always made him snicker inside, though he'd never dare do it in her presence.

"How was it?" he asked.

She turned to him. "Not as sweet as my other meal, thanks to a certain someone, but … it was good."

He nodded slowly. "I could go for another. Before they forget about us again."

Alice showed the faintest hint of a smile as she coiled up on the ground, shifting so that her head rested against her middle.

Flame chose to do the same—he lied down and pulled the blankets up to his neck. He turned and writhed from his back to his sides, then on his belly, attempting to find a position that was remotely comfortable. Nothing worked. No matter how much he tried to force it, he knew there was no way he would fall asleep. He felt like a moving corpse—unable to move his arms and legs without his muscles screaming in pain, his claws barely able to hold a bowl correctly. Worse of all, there was a constant haziness surrounding his head, a light buzzing that just wouldn't go away, that muddled his thoughts and made him feel even more sick and useless than he currently was.

Useless. That word sounded fitting right about now.

How did I let everything go so wrong? he thought, squeezing his eyes together and groaning out loud.

He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think that the life he'd begun to build for himself had been devastated in one clean swoop, that Gaius may have been dead, that the future held nothing for him. He didn't really have any answers for himself. Not while he was stuck in this Arceus-forsaken field hospital.

Unable to find peace, he twisted on his side to face Alice, and found that she was already looking at him. No sooner than their eyes met did her attention suddenly shoot off to some indiscriminate point near her tail, her face becoming tense as if crossed by an unpleasant thought.

"Alice? Is something wrong?"

"What? No—uh, I mean … yes. It's, it's just that I realised…" Alice mumbled, trailing off at the end.

This caught Flame by surprise. In the short time he had known her, he'd never seen her this … vulnerable. There was the entire grind through the dungeon, sure, but that had been wholly justified. Now, she looked almost defeated, a far cry from her usual calm and collected self.

"I'm sorry," she said with a sigh.

Flame had no idea how to react to those words; especially since they were coming from her, of all pokémon.

"For what?" he said, not bothering to hide his confusion.

She shifted her neck in discomfort, as if unsure of what to say. "For doubting you. It's not something that I would have said aloud, but I … I kept thinking whether taking you in had been the right choice. Whether you even benefitted the team at all."

For the briefest moment, Flame let offense overcome his thoughts. It was inevitable—he could not expect her to ignore an open fact, that he was inept in combat, but it still didn't make it hurt any less. Alice must have noticed, for guilt flashed across her face.

"L-look, I know," she blurted out. "I was being selfish. And, and stupid. Maybe I let Gaius' thoughts rub off on me—it doesn't really excuse me, but … you showed me how wrong I was. I wasn't trying to… I'm sorry."

Any doubts pertaining to her sincerity vanished when he saw the borderline panic in her eyes. Lowering his gaze, he heaved a sigh, offering her a calming smile.

"Honestly? I don't blame you," he shrugged his shoulders. "Heck, I couldn't even breathe fire until you showed me how. I really was a mess in those first days. Still am, actually…"

It only vaguely registered in his mind that he was talking about events dating just over a week prior as if they'd happened in a distant past. It certainly felt that way to him.

"True, but I should have considered your condition," she said, unwilling to meet his gaze. "I can't imagine what it means having to relearn all there is to the world. Finding yourself alone and confused, with nobody to turn to. Or … well, I guess I can relate to that last part," she said as a sad, minuscule smile appeared on her face. "You have it worse than me. At least I know what I'm running from."

Flame raised his eyes to read hers, surprised. In the short time he had known her, she'd only ever touched upon her past on one occasion. And he recalled what little information he'd gotten out of her.

"Family?" he whispered softly.

At that, she froze. Her eyes bore into his inquisitively, and he could see a hint of a glimmer in them. "Th-that's besides the point. What I was trying to say is, despite everything I just said, despite all those doubts I had, you saved us. When Gaius and I gave up, you kept going. You kept us warm. You kept me warm. Whether or not it means anything to you … thank you."

The way she said that last part moved something deep within him. It must have been the pure gratitude dripping from her every word, or the warmth they carried, the same, tingly warmth spreading through his body. As blood rushed to his cheeks, he mused that it was gratifying to feel something other than cold or pain for a brief change.

Alice gave him a kind smile and lingered on him, but the tiredness etched in her features was becoming more apparent by the minute. Her sudden yawn right in his face only confirmed that, and they both burst laughing. Now uncoiled, she shuffled closer to him just shy of brushing against his torso. The sudden closeness meant that Flame's brain had no idea how to react. It made him feel a little flustered, but then again, it was also quite pleasant. He didn't really know why, but he welcomed it.

Alice mumbled something about cold and snuggled further under the blankets. Before long, her breathing stabilised, and sleep overtook her.

And thus, he was left alone—alone with his thoughts.

This was rare for him, for there was always some immediate concern that needed to be addressed, some imminent mission or meal to occupy his mind. Now, however, as he lay in this pitiful excuse for a bed, his only outlet for company sleeping soundly, he realised that there would be plenty of dull moments in the next few days. He had no idea what to feel. Perhaps some time to himself would do him good—perhaps it would help clear the turmoil currently wracking his brain. But at the same time, the prospect of quietness scared him: for he knew, oh, he knew that his mind would inevitably gravitate towards darker thoughts, as it always did. What else was there to think about? His mental landscape was a jumbled mess of facts and half-truths, of convictions that always eluded his grasp when he tried to investigate their nature. Not only was his past life still one such conviction, but the few hints he'd gathered terrified him more than what he didn't know. Just thinking of the Dusknoir made him jittery. The way it had smiled at him, the way it had touched his shoulder…

Flame's claws unconsciously curled round his sheets. No, no one could know. No one could ever be allowed to know that out of all the pokémon in the world, he had to be connected to the leader of the Arceus-damned Scum. He would be arrested, thrown to the gallows before a jeering crowd. Would they even stop there? With such a high-profile case, they would surely do the same to Alice, and damn her family connections. If so, he had become more of a liability to his team than he already was.

But even that worry felt vague and far into the future. Right now he was stuck on this tiny sleeping mat, barely able to formulate a thought, unable to do anything but wait.

Flame stopped his spiral of thoughts before it got too far, and watched Alice's chest rise and fall with each breath. He closed his eyes, let out a sigh, and let his mind focus on her breathing.


Domus Aerelia

The two Rhydon cleared another chunk of rubble from the servants' quarters before announcing they had unearthed another body. A troop of legionaries flocked to the scene, and together they hauled the twisted remains of a Gardevoir to the nearest common grave. The rest of the soldiers present spared little more than a glance at the newest victim before returning to their cleanup duty.

In the midst of all that, Ariel watched the process from afar.

Three-hundred and fifty slaves had died in the collapse—the near totality of those she had owned before the earthquake. However, that fact barely entered her mind. Slaves were cheap, and with the extravagant wealth at her disposal, she could empty the whole auction house and not lose any sleep over it.

That wasn't what had her worried.

All things considered, she ought to have been thankful: not only was she lucky to have been outside when the tremors struck, but she was also nowhere near her villa when the raging crowd attempted to break through, and that, besides the heap of rubble that used to be the servants' quarters, her villa was mostly intact.

Instead, she was worried because none of it would matter a few days from now.

But sure, I should be jumping out of fucking joy, she thought, and began walking towards her villa, arms locked behind her back.

There was a hole in her stomach, one that had been churning away at her insides for the better part of the day ever since she had heard the news. She knew it wouldn't stop growing until she spoke to Sycorax. He—if the Genesect could even be considered a he—was the only one who had any grasp on the current situation. Not because she fancied the idea of begging someone else for help, but because without adequate information, she had no other option.

For a few minutes, she walked along a path flanked by immaculate hedges and orange trees, Normally this would serve to calm her spirit, but that was nowhere near true when she reached the front yard of her villa. Just as expected, Sycorax was there, surrounded by an entourage of stone-faced Imperial Army officers.

Although Ariel could have waited for their conversation to end, she did not have the patience for pleasantries right now. Instead, she approached the group with a heavy step, and stood looming a few metres behind the General.

"Sycorax," she said plainly, attracting the immediate attention of everyone present. The officers regarded her with little more than indifference. Her authority meant naught to those within the Imperial Army, and they knew it. One more reason for her to despise the Army types.

The Genesect turned to meet her glare for one moment, then faced the officers again. "I must discuss recent developments with the governor now. We shall continue later."

"Understood, sir," said a Scizor, saluting the General before leaving with the others.

Once there was nobody else within earshot, Sycorax turned fully to regard her with those unfeeling, bloodshot eyes of glass.

"Ariel. I did not realise we were in such a friendly relationship as to call each other by name. Have you had a change of heart?"

It was hard to get over the fact that his … its mouth didn't move while speaking, and how grated its voice sounded. She couldn't even find it in her to feel offended. The fact that no emotion whatsoever could be read outside of its voice made it all the more unnatural.

After taking a deep breath, Ariel steeled her face to the coming storm.

"You know why I'm here," she muttered, narrowing her eyes. "Just tell me what the situation is."

"Very well," the Genesect scanned her face, keeping a soldierly stance. "Approximately twelve hours ago, one of my scouting teams operating outside the city walls was reached by a group of flying-types claiming to belong to Civil Protection. They were traumatised and in critical condition. From what little we were able to gather, the Portus relief expedition has been ambushed by barbarian forces and was ultimately wiped out. Simultaneously, the largest portal storm ever witnessed just so happened to materialise above the city itself, where the near entirety of Task Force Aegis was operating at the time."

Ariel grew more numb the more facts were laid at her feet. She did not notice her breaths stopping until she attempted to speak.

"What?" was all she managed to wheeze out.

Sycorax stopped for a moment, his eyes wandering to the sky before resuming. "Since then, we have found other survivors. The last three were recovered just this morning. The total number stands at fourteen, including the team who delivered the grim news."

Ariel let her gaze fall to the ground, mouth hanging open. Nearly a thousand pokémon had left Aesernia three days ago. Now, in the blink of an eye, her whole organisation—the organisation she had struggled so hard to seize control of, to mold to her own image, was simply gone, slaughtered at the hand of barbarian Scum.

"I would not rule out more survivors coming to us in the following days, considering the time necessary to make the journey on foot, but we must accept the likelihood that not many survived in the first place. That Task Force Aegis no longer exists."

Ariel shook her head, pacing back and forth to glue her thoughts together. "How is this possible? There wasn't supposed to be anybody there. Much less the Scum. If the front lines broke, we would have heard something by now," she stopped pacing. "No. It's impossible. They simply couldn't have been there. And your soldiers—what the fuck did I bring them for? You're telling me they couldn't defeat a bunch of stone-age filth who are still learning how to bang rocks together?"

Sycorax stared at her long and hard, and if its eyes could move, she guessed they would be narrowed at her right now.

"If I had an answer to those questions, Ariel, none of this would have happened in the first place. Shouting will lead us nowhere," the Genesect said in a lower tone, leaning its head close to glare at her. "It brings to light a whole new method of transportation they are using to move about undisturbed. I have theorised in the past that they may be exploiting the ejection properties of mystery dungeons to reappear inside our borders. How they would manage to move such a large number of pokémon is beyond me, but, evidently, they were successful."

She clenched her claws into fists, feeling a deep yearning to shout her lungs out for the sake of disobeying and smash the General's head for the sake of smashing something. Yet she kept quiet, seething at the creature who outranked her and had the power to remove her from her post simply by whispering into the Emperor's ear.

If it noticed her behaviour, however, Sycorax did not show it.

"I cannot possibly believe that the portal storm was a coincidence," the Genesect turned, head hung low in thought. "There are simply too many factors involved playing into the enemy's hands. Not only did it form just as the main camp was attacked; but it just so happened to materialise over the city where half of our military forces were operating, denying precious reinforcements." Pausing, it shook its head. "No, it was too perfect a gift for our adversaries to be the product of random chance."

"What are you trying to get at?" Ariel asked, donning a sideways look.

Sycorax did not respond immediately, as though contemplating its response. "Some who hold more … radical views have suggested that the Scum can manipulate and in fact may be the cause of portal storms, but this is the first time I've been inclined to agree with them."

Ariel balled her claws into fists, wrestling to keep her tone under control. "Who gives a damn? You know where they are. Send in your army to crush them!" she pointed an accusing claw at the General.

"Unfeasible," Sycorax shook its head. "The legions on the border would take too long to mobilise, and even then they are needed to hold the front lines. Ever since the Portus garrison perished alongside the city, I'm afraid we are the only ones close enough to do anything."

"…You want to engage them with our garrison?" she said numbly as the news sunk in. "Risk the only troops at our disposal?"

Not only did Sycorax ignore her question—it did not even deign to look at her. Instead, the Genesect turned towards the villa's exit, the sun gleaming against its purple carapace. It stared at the tall palm trees swaying ever so minutely in the breeze.

"As of this moment, I am taking control of Camp Tempest as temporary headquarters of the VII Legion," Sycorax said, stepping briskly towards the villa's exit. "Await further updates."

"What? You can't do this to me!" Ariel took a menacing step forward. "You're forgetting who I am! Oh, His Majesty will hear of this. I'll tell him to—hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Despite her angry ramblings, Sycorax did not turn, nor did it slow down. Instead, it moved farther and farther away until it could no longer be seen, leaving a lone, powerless Haxorus staring dejectedly under the dying sun.


Camp Tempest

Upon one of the many pitiful excuses for a bed in the field hospital, Flame's eyes unceremoniously flared open as he awoke, lying on his back while staring at the sparse ceiling. Dust particles floated silently in the air, visible only in the vicinity of his tail fire. That detail, plus the darkness enveloping some of the outer corners of the tent, told him that the sun had long set outside.

"Damn it all…" a groan escaped through his shut jaws.

Another sleepless rest to add to the tally, he supposed. Of course he should have expected his sleep patterns to be fairly erratic in the wake of his long stay, but now he was barely getting any time to recharge.

His body, at this point, seemed actively trying to rebel against him staying in this position. His back never let him forget that it was aching, and his legs were frenzied by the urge to get up and about and actually do something for a change.

All this, and he'd been here for … what, two days? He hardly made an effort to keep track. It was probably less than that.

Hoping against all odds that Alice would keep him company, he shot a look in her direction and sighed heavily when he saw her sleeping form wrapped in blankets. Arceus, he wished he could talk to her right now. It would help him feel so much better.

Disheartened, he spun on his side to find a comfortable position, facing away from her; the last thing he expected to find, however, was a familiar green snout and a pair of bloodshot eyes staring at him.

His heart jumped two meters in the air: Flame screamed a few pitches higher than he would ever willingly admit, reeled back far enough to crash into Alice's sleeping form, elbowed her snout, and pushed her off the bed, all in one movement. At the same instant a nurse carrying bags of equipment ran towards him, only to stop once she saw what the shouting was for.

Flame scrambled to sit up, a paw over his chest, blood rushing to his cheeks when he realised that other patients were staring at him with expressions nothing short of hateful. Behind him Alice was beginning to stir, likely taking notice that she was no longer on the sleeping mat.

His eyes, however, remained glued on the Grovyle, who reciprocated with an empty, vapid look.

"Gaius?" he murmured, doing his best to calm his quivering heart. "Wh-when did you get here? I thought…"

Behind him Alice groaned, and he turned to find her rubbing her nose with her tail. "Uuugh, Flame, what on earth got into—wait, Gaius?"

She shot up as though suddenly doused with cold water, and gaped at the new arrival, fully awake.

The Grovyle said nothing, and Flame could not help but notice how pale he was. His normally red underside was tainted a sickly pink, while the rest of his body was not nearly green enough.

"Talk to me, Gaius," he said softly. "What happened to you? What did they—"

Flame stopped that sentence mid-breath when he saw a thickly bandaged stump in place of Gaius' left paw. The other paw was only marginally better, with two blue-coloured digits where there once were three, and wrapped in a similar amount of bandages. Was that blood?

"Oh," Flame mumbled, suddenly unsure of what else to say.

Alice bit her lip as she took in the sight. "I'm sorry. I … we're just glad you're okay."

"Stop," Gaius said, averting his look from them. "You're not helping."

"… Sorry," Alice repeated, looking away as well.

And thus, an uncomfortable silence washed over the three. Flame shuffled away from Alice to allow her onto the sleeping mat. As he did so he kept the tail of his eye trained on Gaius, who was looking down at his hands with a scowl etched on his face.

Flame pretended to look elsewhere when Gaius noticed, but immediately felt stupid and childish for doing so. He felt worried for his teammate. Even if said teammate was in an understandably emotional state, would he not find a bit of comfort in knowing that someone cared?

Pushed by that small hope, he shot another look at Gaius, who had returned to boring a hole into what remained of his hands. There was something about the look on his face that made Flame want to curl up and hide himself under the blanket out of shame. He felt…

It made no sense—this was an entirely different situation, no lives were currently in danger. And yet, for whatever reason, he felt the same twinge of helplessness that had gripped him inside the mystery dungeon, watching his friends wither before his very eyes. Perhaps that was the problem: this conviction that he somehow bore the duty to help everyone no matter the impossibility of such a feat.

"We're here for you," he said, clenching his jaw as soon as the last word had formed. It sounded so empty, so meaningless.

Gaius watched him for a moment, then turned back. During that brief time, Flame was barely able to hold his nerve and not look away. Those eyes were tired, lifeless, much like when the cold had been about to overtake him. Some time passed in silence between the two. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead and upper lip.

"Why did you save me?" Gaius spoke with a flat voice, eyes dipping to his body.

Flame only blinked, taking a moment to replay the question through his head. A clenching sensation took hold of his stomach.

"I … I wanted to … it was the right thing to do," he said, blurting out words as they came to him. "You're my teammate. And even if you weren't, it doesn't matter. No one deserves to die like that."

For a moment he sustained his look, then he turned again, face made of stone. "I've done awful things to you. You should hate me. Why go through so much effort to keep me alive?"

The possible implications of the question caused Flame's forehead to furrow. "What are you getting at?"

"I should have died back there," Gaius shook his head slowly, voice a dull whisper. "You should have left me to die. Would have been better than … this." he lifted his near clawless hands to stare at them.

Flame remained quiet even as the implications in his leader's words became clear. Part of him empathised with Gaius, understood his emotional pain; yet another part couldn't help but interpret those words as a final slap in the face, that all the misery and pain he had gone through to save his leader's life hadn't even been worth a shred of gratitude.

"… Honestly? I do hate you," Flame said after some time. "You've done nothing but make my life more miserable. I don't think I'm ever going to forgive you for leaving me behind in Portus. Just like I don't think I'll ever get myself to like you."

Gaius' face did not so much as twitch at his words. "Then why? You chose to carry me even if it meant you might not have made it out."

"Basically sums up our relationship," Flame muttered under his breath, running a palm over his forehead. "Look, there doesn't need to be a reason. Okay? You were about to die. Do you think I could just leave you there? I don't regret dragging you out of there, but if you're going to complain that you're still alive, then you can go bite yourself for all I care."

Even as a trace of spite entered his voice at the end, the Grovyle simply sat there and stared off into the distance, not a hint of emotion in his eyes apart from pure and simple tiredness.

"There's nothing left. No money. No job…" Gaius whispered, shoulders slumped at his side. "Everything we've done up until now was for nothing."

A heavy sigh left Flame's mouth, his head hanging as he mused at how quickly anger had left his system, replaced by a hollow morbidness. Those thoughts were true. No matter how much he hated the Grovyle, neither of them could deny the reality of the situation.

"We can't give up, Gaius," Flame said, his words ringing hollow even to himself. "There has to be something we can hold onto. Something we can do…"

The only response he obtained was the Grovyle collapsing on his pillow and staring up into nothingness. Frowning, Flame turned towards Alice, and found that she too carried a similar expression to his. He saw immediately that she was pondering the same thing. The two of them exchanged a worried glance, and for several seconds he loathed himself, loathed himself because he could not provide them with an answer, a promise that everything would be all right.

"We're still here. Together," Alice said quietly. "It has to count for something…"

Even as the tent became enveloped in quiet, Flame could only hope she was right.


The following morning, Flame found himself thrust into a confusing scene. One moment everything had been a blur, his mind either shutting itself down in a bid to let time pass by, or wallowing in the guilt that came over him every time he looked in his teammates' eyes, one as irrational as it was strong. He ought to have resisted the cold, he told himself, not give in like a little Bulbasaur.

As soon as he vacillated into the real world, however, it took him a few lethargic seconds of looking around to notice that something was profoundly wrong with the other pokémon in the tent. It was as if they had all frozen into statues; all but the most restless of patients lay stiff in their beds with their heads raised to see what was happening, while the medical staff encircled near the entrance, their eyes wide and their hushed whispers betraying someone's imminent arrival. When footsteps creaked from outside, there was a moment of restrained panic: the nurses stepped back from the entrance, ceased all sound, and straightened their backs, all in one motion; all eyes were glued to the entrance.

Then the tent's flap parted, and a mass of metallic purple stepped through, flanked by a considerably smaller Espeon.

As the creature spoke with the nurses in a synthesised voice, something stirred in Flame's mind. His subconscious swore that he'd seen this pokémon before. Obviously it was important, but he couldn't quite place his tongue on—

General Sycorax, he stiffened all of a sudden, remembering Alice's exact words. Highest officer in the Imperial Army.

The Genesect stalked forward past the gawking nurses. It started sweeping the tent with its lifeless eyes, scanning each and every patient, before it finally settled on Team Phalanx.

Flame felt his heart beating faster than he'd ever thought possible. Was this about his ties to the Scum's leader? Had they found out? How could they have found out? Now the general was approaching closer and closer and his mind rushed to piece together the situation. Gaius and Alice were the only ones who knew, and they'd been by his side this whole time. They couldn't have— … Or … could they? No, they would never just … sell him off like that. He refused to believe it.

And yet, the facts spoke for themselves: the Imperial Army's chief general now towered above their bed, and Flame could not bring himself to so much as breathe. Sycorax's attention shifted slowly in between the three. When its eyes passed over Alice, he could have sworn he saw it linger onto her for a brief moment, before it just as quickly began addressing them.

"Recruits," Sycorax nodded at the cowering pokémon below. "Before I begin, I would like to apologise for this unscheduled visit, especially considering the unfortunate conditions which have brought you here. How are you feeling?"

"W-well. We are recovering well," Alice stammered.

"Y-yeah," Flame said, a sudden tightness in his throat.

"I am most happy to hear that," the Genesect said, though its face conveyed nothing of the sort. "Your conditions were looking dire when my team found you."

"You brought us here?" the question escaped his mouth before he mentally kicked himself. He was in no position to speak so casually with the general!

Thankfully, said general did not seem to pay the small show of disrespect any mind. "Indeed. We found you not far from Route 165, approximately six kilometres from Aesernia. I admire your tenacity—not only did you escape, but you managed to traverse such a considerable distance in the span of a single day."

"It … it wasn't easy, sir," Alice said, ripping her gaze away from the speaker.

Flame shot a glance at her, and saw that her expression carried a hint of something strange—an emotion he couldn't place his tongue on. Shame? Regret?

The Genesect rose even straighter than before, crossing its arms behind its back. "Normally, I would dare not ask such questions after what you must have had to endure—especially so soon after the fact. However, you are among the only survivors of the Portus expedition. I need you to tell me everything that happened."

Team Phalanx exchanged looks, all telling the same story, asking the same questions. Whether the full story should ever be told with

When Gaius turned to meet Sycorax with a stare and took a deep breath, Flame sent the Grovyle one last, pleading look.

"It all started when we were searching for survivors in the city," Gaius began. "I can't say exactly when, but suddenly we found ourselves in the middle of the biggest portal storm I've seen in my life. We … we almost didn't make it out, sir."

A lull followed as Gaius attempted to glue together the right words. Flame felt the entire tent's eyes on them, a fact that did little to help his rising heartbeat.

"Take all the time you need," Sycorax nodded." I understand if the recollection of the events proves distressing."

"W-we first encountered a small group of Scum in the city outskirts. It seemed that they were waiting for us, expecting us to run back in that direction. I … guess that should have rung an alarm bell, but the storm was right behind us. No time to think. We linked up with friendly forces and they airlifted us back to the camp, and that was when…" Gaius trailed off, shifting uncomfortable under the blanket.

Flame only just noticed he'd been holding a breath. A few heartbeats of silence followed before the sheer pressure of where the story was headed drove him to take control of the situation before Gaius could continue any further.

"It was a slaughter. S-sir," Flame interjected, part of him instantly regretting this decision. "Too many of them. Our defensive lines broke. There was nothing we could do. I'm not sure how many got out with us."

Sycorax could only nod grimly. "I see. So far, the total stands at fourteen survivors—however you are the first to not have wings. How exactly did you escape? The encampment was built as to only have one way up or down."

"We ran. Down the access path. And … and then we found a mystery dungeon," he said quickly in hopes of brushing off the subject matter from their collective minds.

Just when Flame was starting to release the pressure exploding inside of him, the Espeon standing wordlessly at the general's side seemed to perk to life, pawing its leg and muttering something to its ear once it bent down to listen.

"My aide tells me you may be hiding something," Sycorax said, staring straight at Flame. "Is that true?"

In that very moment, had he not been in front of a tent worth of pokémon, not to mention the leader of the Imperial forces, Flame would have screamed. Instead, his claws tightened into fist and his back became stiff as a plank. One sentence. One Arceus-damned sentence, and he would have been in the clear. Of course he would manage to mess up that one, simple sentence.

"Huh? W-well, no! Or … sort of. It's…" Flame mumbled in quick succession, his mind scrambling to pick up the pieces. "It's just a theory of mine, sir, I—I wouldn't want to sp-speculate, or, or give false intel…"

"Even a tiny detail can be instrumental in turning this war around. Do not be afraid, Charmeleon. Tell me."

"They had a leader, sir." Gaius said suddenly, causing even Flame to turn. "We saw them take orders from someone. A Dusknoir. They even bowed to him."

Flame was left there speechless, the explanation he'd glued together in a few heartbeats dying in his throat. His leader had had ample opportunity to ship him off to prison, suspicious as he was after the episode with the Scum leader. And yet, he'd stopped just short of mentioning what had truly happened that day.

Sycorax leaned closer in palpable attention. "The others reported nothing of the sort. What did you observe about this creature?"

Gaius visibly held back a grimace, but remained upright. "It was only for a short time. Near the end of our escape. He, or it, ordered the nearby Scum to attack us, which forced us to enter the mystery dungeon for safety."

Sycorax said nothing as it stood contemplating with its head up high and its arms crossed behind its back.

"The discovery of a central leadership, if confirmed, could be decisive in understanding the barbarian tribes," the general said. "For the moment, though, it adds an unforeseen variable to the position we find ourselves in."

Flame sought Gaius' eyes, perhaps asking for an explanation, perhaps in gratefulness, but the Grovyle paid him no heed.

Its musings over, the Genesect lowered its eyes to properly gaze down at them. "That will be all. Thank you for your collaboration. It has proved most enlightening. I wish you a rapid recovery, so that you may return to the field of battle."

For a moment, a flickering moment, Alice looked like a child staring down an angry parent. She did not watch the Genesect as it turned to leave. He realised in that moment that she had refused to look at it for the majority of their conversation.

"From this moment on, in light of the demise of Task Force Aegis, you will be integrated in the Imperial Army as part of the VII Legion. Your new commanding officer will be here to meet you once you are discharged. Esto perpetua."

And then, in a single, collected step, Sycorax exited the tent.


End of Chapter XV
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya,

Got a block of free time to help magic together a review ahead of schedule. So in the spirit of Review Blitz, I did the less-than-sane option of pulling a marathon session to get it together in short order. You'll probably recognize quite a few gags from this review from the original incarnation of this feedback, but hopefully you still find enough new stuff in it to make the read worth your while.

Chapter XIV

Flame: "Okay, so let's recap since we're in the middle of a frozen hellscape of a Mystery Dungeon right now: Over the past few of chapters, Aesernia got wrecked by a surprise earthquake, we got sent by Ariel out right after that to a big seaside city by Portus where the epicenter was and found it to be an abandoned mess of rubble with an occasional corpse here and there.”
Alice: “Uh huh…”
Flame: “Then we came across this ship at the harbor that's apparently something like 250 years old, Gaius did his best to get sloshed while we were on the job with a search and rescue mission, and we came out to discover a portal storm brewing overhead."
Alice: “... That ship honestly probably should’ve been called the Theseus with the number of times that it’s had to have been rebuilt to stay in service for that long.
Gaius: "And lay off my case about the wine! After everything that'd happened up to that point, it was completely reasonable for me to have that drink!"
Flame: "Whatever. So afterwards, some Scum started teleporting into Portus, I got humiliated by a Staraptor feeding me like a chick, and then we tried to go back to Camp Horizon and found that everyone who wasn't out in the field in Portus was busy getting slaughtered by a surprise Scum attack because nobody thought to Spike the road up to camp just in case."
Alice: "I… think the implication was that they came from the Mystery Dungeon down said path, but the story didn’t really give any strong hints one way or the other. Also everyone still in the field was in a mad dash to try and get away from the portal storm as Portus was getting sucked into the void. While Scum were teleporting in to ambush us."
Gaius: "Yeah... not holding my breath for ever running into them again. But I think we're missing a few things."
Flame: "Right, then took a leap of faith to look for a Mystery Dungeon entrance, ran into this Dusknoir that seems to be the Scum leader, we got into this icy Mystery Dungeon where Gaius almost slit my throat since for a moment he thought I was also Scum and somehow had something to do with all of this."
Gaius: "I mean, we still didn't establish otherwise. Just that I don’t have a good explanation for why you’re not speaking their rock tumbler language and at the least you're not trying to be on their side."
- Roll eyes -
Flame: "Uh-huh, sure. Anyhow, the weather started getting to us, Gaius got frostbite, and we left off cuddling up together for warmth to stay alive with no allies to call on for help and gods-knows-how-many-floors left ahead of us. Am I missing anything here?"
Alice: "I mean, you could tempt fate and bring a killer Froslass that only speaks Oldspeak down on us to try and turn us into frozen trophies, but no. I think that sounds pretty complete."
Flame: “... Isn’t that from some other story from like a decade ago? I think we’ll be fine?”
701630550720512120.png

Gaius: "Hrmph, I can think of something you're missing right now..."
- Blink moment -
Flame: "You can? What?"

"So, I just … throw it?"

"Yes. Unless you want to make out with that thing first."

"Okay, okay! I was just … making sure."

Gaius: "Using that Escape Orb. You know, the one that would let us get out of this frozen hole?"
Flame: "... And we're sure using that this won't have any negative effects, right?"
Alice: "I mean, it is an Escape Orb. How bad could it be?"
- Flame and Gaius trade looks with each other -
Gaius: "Great. Now I'm starting to have second thoughts." ._.
Flame: "... Whatever, let's just get this over with."

For the third time since they'd crawled out of their hiding spot, Flame sent gave the sphere a careful look, as though glancing at it too harshly might cause it to shatter. Embedded in the centre was a small foetus nucleus of light, radiating turning slowly within. The time he had spent lying inside the crevice had left a faint soreness ache in his back, and he could definitely feel the difference in temperature now that his heat had dispersed out into the rest of the wide room. He could only imagine what his teammates were feeling. He turned to them, catching their barely suppressed shivers and incessant blinks: even with the aid of his natural warmth, the cold was getting to them all the same.

No, he couldn't make them wait any longer. He had to trust this sphere would work.

de7.png



After a moment of psychological preparation to mentally prepare himself, Flame drew his arm back, and threw the orb against the far wall. The sharp sound of shattering glass sliced the air while hundreds of tiny shards burst in every direction, bouncing to the ground and skidding as far as where his feet were. He uncovered his face slowly. The smaller orb of light now hovered in mid-air, freed from its shackles. It fluctuated for a moment—flickered, almost—only to suddenly shoot past the three of them and into a featureless hallway. Team Phalanx stood there idly for several moments, half expecting something to happen.

Moments passed in stillness. Quiet.

Oh hey, it’s like the Follow Ball from Xenoblade X. Except you can’t just make more of them after losing track of one.

At once, Flame clutched his ears and squeezed his eyes shut when everything erupted in violent rumbles that travelled through the ice and rock. The sounds continued for a dozen seconds—as did the ringing—before he opened his eyes, and realised that the air around him was now distorted. Tiny webs of electricity rocked the very air, bristled his scales, and reached out inside the walls.

There was He suddenly felt an acute, sense of heaviness heavy sensation inside him that forced him to his knees without realising it. Then, the rumble stopped.

"Arceus—what the hell was that?" Gaius said, uncovering his ears.

"N-not exactly what I was expecting…" Flame stammered as he lagged to his feet. He took a deep breath, and spent a good few seconds making sure that the cavern had not in fact collapsed on their heads.

Flame: "... I've made a terrible mistake, haven't I?” ._.
Gaius: “See, I knew I was having second thoughts for a reason!”
401076862924750848.png


"The dungeon certainly didn't react well," Alice said. "If what the books claim is true, then we have little don’t have much time to search for the breach."

Flame turned to her. "How long?"

[ ]


"It … wasn't specified," Alice swallowed visibly. "All the more reason to never not to linger and find out."

Flame looked both of them in the eye, then behind them. "I guess we … follow the orb, then?"

Oh hey, it’s going through Sylvalum in Xenoblade X when I’m more directionally-challenged. Except more cold, more miserable, and without the mesmerizing music and auroras in the background.

Also as an optional thing that I recommend, but it might make sense to drop in a paragraph before Alice’s line there expanding on her reaction where she’d look visibly nervous or uneasy or the like.

Flame: "... I thought this Orb was supposed to take us out of the dungeon!" ._.
Alice: "It does, but you have to work for it."
Gaius: "And that regret's a bit late now! Come on! Follow that ball of light before we lose sight of it!"

"A-anything beats standing here," Alice said just as a shiver wracked her body, her eyes glazed and staring straight ahead.

He rested a paw on her back, and pity blossomed on his face. "Hey. It's the final push. If you didn't give up earlier, no sense in doing so now."

Alice: “... Aren’t we about to go right back into the same cold that gave Gaius frostbite in the first place?” >_>;
Flame: “Again, the final stretch. And how long could it take to find the-?”
Gaius: “Flame, don’t you dare finish that sentence!”
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Alice gave him a small smile, as if to reassure him she was quite all right, despite her body language suggesting the opposite.

"Just shut up and get moving," quipped Gaius.

Despite the harsh choice of words, Flame agreed, and motioned his teammates down the dark path taken by the orb of light. They walked briskly through the icy corridors, and with renewed impetus, though on several occasions Flame had to consciously slow down to let the others keep up.

Not even a minute after leaving their refuge, and Alice and Gaius They were suffering once again. The pair flinching at each gust of wind, keeping their eyes ahead and muffling their laments. It amazed him how they found the willpower to walk. How could one walk with their very bones frozen over?

A heaviness instilled itself upon heavy feeling settled his heart, but once again, there was little he could do right now, and even less time to do it. This thought, however truthful, did not stop his insides from aching every time he lay his eyes upon his teammates. It made him feel powerless to stand there and watch, as though their suffering meant nothing to him.

I think that your last paragraph there is long enough to justify cutting up into two or three smaller paragraphs. In this case, I went with three for my suggestion.

Focus, Flame ordered insisted to himself and shut his eyes. Maybe we'll find the exit sooner rather than later. No reason to get so worked up over this.

19 words thought seconds from disaster.

As if his anxieties could be swept away with a single command! One He had to try, though, he rationalised reasoned, [even if it meant fooling one's own intellect].

Not really feeling “even if it meant fooling one's own intellect”. There. I think the intent is something to the effect of “even if it meant lying to oneself” or “even if it meant flying in the face of his own reason” but not sure if those nuances fully fit either. If you have the time and motivation, it might be worth playing around with some alternatives there.

The corridor of ice and snow continued for many minutes—time Flame spent primarily checking their rear checking behind himself more than reasonably necessary. It was more than reasonable to assume a feral would appear at any moment, pounce them from above, and drag either of his weakened friends back off into the void. Yet, nothing happened. They simply walked. And walked. And prayed.

That is, up until the point where they stumbled upon a bifurcation fork in the path, and Flame felt his heart jump to his throat, and something inside him collapsed.

No. No. Not now. We're so close… How are we supposed to know where to go? Damn it, damn it!

[But then Alice spoke, pointed out that the ripples created by the escape orb lingered in the air, and only crackled along one of the corridors. Indeed, once he saw the tiny anomalies distorting the air, he suddenly felt quite stupid for not noticing earlier. He even chuckled at the thought of his overreaction. Had the situation been more appropriate, he gladly would have acted upon the impulse to hug and spin her round.]

No—he would absolutely do it once they stepped out of this hellhole.

I feel as if paragraph #4 would work better if it was broken up into a few smaller paragraphs and lines of dialogue. For instance, you might find it worth considering something like the following:

[ “F-Flame, look!”

Alice shivered and motioned weakly with her tail off at the [left_or_right] corridor. There, lingering ripples hung in the air, still crackling electricity. A quick glance at the [right_or_left] corridor revealed that it didn’t have any, which Alice immediately noted.

“The Escape Orb’s ball leaves distortions in its wake, it must’ve gone down that corridor!”

… He suddenly felt quite stupid for not noticing that detail earlier, and couldn’t help but chuckle at his earlier overreaction. Were Alice and Gaius not freezing their scales off right then and there, he gladly would have acted upon the impulse to hug and spin her round. ]

There’s also other things that could be done there, but I’ll leave that up for you to decide as an author.

"We have to be close, by now. We have to be," Alice's feeble whisper barely echoed in the ever-encroaching darkness.

Well that’s tempting fate if I ever heard it.

No matter how far along they headed, it was all the same. The same corridors, the same ice, the same chambers of lined with stalactites overhead, and, above all, the temperature did not change for a single moment. The situation was quickly devolving into a repeat of what had happened before they’d suffered before taking shelter earlier: wandering aimlessly while the cold wore down their defences, leaving Alice and Gaius a quivering, mumbling messes, [with him unable to do anything but watch. Perhaps he could seek another crevice to share heat in, but how long could they hope to continue this cycle], when even he—a being of fire!— now he felt frost nip at even his own claws and feet? He, being of fire!

Given that it was established in the prior scene that they had to find the Escape Orb’s exit to the MD in a hurry or else bad things would happen, it probably makes sense to reiterate as one of the reasons why “no, you can’t stop and get toasty again” is a thing looming over them somewhere in or not long after the bracketed bit. If they do that, they’ll have wasted their Escape Orb and their best chance at getting out from Boreal Chasm in a hurry.

Also, Flame is really, really lucky there has not been snow during all of this to mess with his tail flame, otherwise Team Phalanx would likely be 3 for 3 of party members near death.

"How much time do you think has passed?" Flame said, taking in an unconscious breath. "Ten minutes? Fifteen?"

"I … h-haven't been keeping track," mumbled Alice.

Flame: "... Do we even have a way of keeping track of that in these conditions? I thought we kept track of time using sundials."
Gaius: "Yeah, I don't exactly see much sun to work with here."

"Doesn't matter. We'll be out of here in no time," Flame offered her a strained smile. Those words sounded increasingly hollow even to him. With what courage could he speak what was truly on his mind?

… I’d post that one gif of Bender right here, but that’d be just a little too cruel right now.

"Ugh, just sh-sh-shut up already," Gaius heaved, clutching his head momentarily. "My head's about to explode. D-do you even have a clue where you're taking us?"

Flame stared at the Grovyle for a second. "Well, there's no way to—" he stopped in time, then gestured around them. "Look around you. Don't- Don't you see how the air is being disturbed? It only started happening after we used the escape orb. We looked down the other paths, and it wasn't as strong. That's as good of a guess as we'll get."

I feel that’s probably something that you want to acknowledge in passing description earlier on in this scene, since it gives your readers a better idea of how Flame is picking where to go and establishes that they can afford to (relatively) take their time chasing after the totally-not-a-Follow Ball.

"So th-that's it? We're going off of guesses?"

Despite knowing it was the onset of hypothermia doing the talking, Flame couldn't help but scowl. "Yes. Unless you have a better idea, that's what we're doing."

Flame: “... Okay, that sounded a lot more reassuring in my head.”
401076862924750848.png

Gaius: “Gee, thanks for the realization there, oh mighty pathfinder.” >_>;

Flame kept quiet and stared directly ahead, keeping his ears. But then a loud thump resonated from behind him, followed by Alice's echoing gasp; he whirled around, claws bared, his breath lacking short on breath all of a sudden, his heart jumping madly in his chest.

Yet, the scene before his eyes resembled looked nothing like a feral attack. Gaius was sprawled on the ground, crying out in pain, body half buried in the thick snow, limbs wrangled tangled over one another.

In an instant, Alice was hovering over him. "Gaius! Are you okay? Come on, get up." she positioned her head under his arm and lifted it. "Did you break something?"

No answer came while Flame hurried over to assist her, grabbing his other arm, until they both pulled him up into a semi-standing position. The only reason the Grovyle didn't simply crumble to the ground was Flame keeping an arm slung round his own shoulders after Alice withdrew.

"Gaius, what's wrong? Talk to me."

"Damn it," whispered Gaius through glazed eyes. "I can't. I can't do this. I'm done."

Flame made a perplexed expression as he rested his leader against the icy wall. "What do you mean?"

Gaius: “Flame, I’m a gecko adapted to live in jungles in the middle of a glorified freezer! The hell do you mean ‘what do you mean?!” >.<
Flame: “Look, none of that means that you just have to keel over and-”
Gaius: “Topor. Reptiles go into that when their body temperature gets sufficiently low, and in case you didn’t notice, I don’t exactly have internal warmth to help deal with that!”
Alice: “Honestly Flame, just take a closer look. Gaius… isn’t exactly doing well right now.” ._.

Oh, but Anyone with eyes could see quite clearly see what he the Grass-type had meant. In every conceivable way, Gaius looked like death. There were chunks of frost accumulated around his snout, his eyelids, coating every leaf on his body, his pelvis and legs and feet (or was that the snow he sat in?). And even where there was no frost, his scales had turned into a sickly yellowish colour.

How could he have failed to notice how badly Gaius had deteriorated? And in such a short time, too! Perhaps twenty or fifteen minutes had passed since they'd Gaius had healed in his warmth—was the cold really so potent? [It was beginning to seep into his bones; yes, yes it was.]

I’m still not sure how Flame can tell the Gaius’ bones are being affected by the cold there. If it’s something he’s guessing to himself, you probably want to make that clearer. While if it’s something he knows from a past passage of Encyclopedia of the species, you want to explicitly note that as well.

Flame: "Wait, what was the point of using the Escape Orb if all we did was just reduce the amount of time we had to find an exit? If Gaius got this bad in just fifteen or so minutes, then wouldn't we have been better off trying to slowly inch along and take breaks every now and then to keep everyone warm?"
Alice: "... Also how can we tell that Gaius' bones are getting affected from this cold? None of us are doctors here, much less familiar with Grovyle bio-"
Gaius: "Urgh... Can you two not do this while I'm freezing to death here? And how are you holding up as well as you are, Alice? You're just as type-weak to this godawful weather as I am!"

Flame knelt down, perhaps not quite believing what he was seeing his eyes, and took his leader's paw with both of his. Gaius drew back uncomfortably, made a hissing noise, as though his body refused to be reminded of what was the warmth he was oh so sorely missing. The Grovyle's digits felt icy and stiff to the touch. He was no longer shaking at all, save for the frantic twitching of his claws. His body had already resigned itself to its fate. Flame's raised his eyes rose up, and the Grovyle stared back—no, not at him, but rather through him, at some indefinite point in space.

Gaius' face tensed so much that he looked about to cry. "It's just … I didn't want it to end this way. Guess that doesn't matter anymore."

Flame had to remind himself to breathe normally. "Cut the drama, Gaius. You can't give up now. Not when we're so close to finding the exit."

Gaius: “Flame, we don’t know that! We’ve been going through this hell for 20 minutes with no sign that we’re going to find the way out in time!”
401076862924750848.png

Flame: “It’s… closer than what the alternative would be?”
701630550720512120.png


In the corner of his vision, he noticed Alice become tense all of a sudden, no longer paying attention to the two of them.

"Guys?" she said, but found no response in either of them.

"Easy for you to say," wheezed Gaius, before coughing heartily. "Just look at me: I'm freezing alive. Everything hurts. My paws are…" he spaced out for a second, eyes lost into nothingness. "I know you tried to help. But just get out of here. Please."

A sense of helplessness took ahold of Flame. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering, but failed even at that. Gaius was dying. No amount of optimism could deny that. Even in the midst of more pressing thoughts, it did not escape him how strange it was to hear any sort of care for his fate. The amount of times his leader had mistreated and outright loathed him did not seem to matter to the empty hole carved into his stomach.

Part of me actually wonders what it is about Flame that makes him so averse to seeing others physically suffer. Since aside from Virgo and Yvaine, he very consistently has felt felt uncomfortable or guilty when he saw that happening. Even to Pokémon that have been very inhospitable to him.

My money is on him having seen some things in his pre-amnesia life that generally doesn’t give him a stomach for that sort of stuff. But it’s something that I’ve noticed out in force in my re-read.


Gaius: “Y-You really do need to get pickier about who you have empathy for, Flame.” >_>;
Flame: “Gaius, you’re my teammate. (... Of a sort.) Look, I’m not just gonna leave you here to die, okay?!”

Alice's voice leaked into his ears. "Guys, hold on a moment."

Looking over to the side, he saw Alice in much the same condition: her head wings all covered in brine, her breaths growing ragged, the suffering carved in her face chipping tearing at his heart little by little.

The cold was affecting them even more so than before. At least she, of the two, could find the energy to stand. Why was she trying to get their attention? It mattered not; time was not on their side. Perhaps he could drag one of them to safety if it came down to it, but his muscles felt so weak, his mind so clouded…

Would suggest breaking the second paragraph up there, though how exactly did Alice get brine on her again? Is that from that nasty lake they cut through back on B1F? Since otherwise I’m not sure how salty water would get on her like that.

Flame: "I... wouldn't exactly call that 'holding up', Gaius." ._.

"Gaius…" he looked his leader in the eye. "Look at me."

With great difficulty, the Grovyle complied.

Flame froze for a moment, unsure how to proceed. He simply acted on what came as natural: he brought his paw to the Grovyle's face, used a claw to sweep away the brine from his eyelids, then from his snout, before settling on his forehead to transfer whatever heat possible.

Same deal re: brine here. Though this one is a bit of an easier swallow if Gaius has been crying, since… yeah, he’s kinda been going through a miserable and painful experience. I wouldn’t begrudge him for not fully staying together.

"I, I know it's hard. And … I can only imagine how much it hurts. But you have to try. We're so close. Once we're outside, I'll build a fire for you to roll in, okay? Do it for Alice—if you couldn't care less about me, at least do it—"

Flame probably wants to offer something like “curl up by” instead of “roll in” for that fire, since… yeah. Cold or not, Gaius would have problems if he just rolled in a fire.

Gaius: “Oh joy, freezing to death, and then barbecuing. What an upgrade.”
401076862924750848.png

Flame: “Look, you know what I meant, Gaius!” >.<

"Guys!" Alice hissed.

Even in the midst of such a delicate procedure his attempts to reassure his team leader, Flame could sense the urgency in her tone, and immediately shot to attention. She was gazing at the darkness beyond his tail's light. Her scales were bathed in crackling orange.

"We are not alone."

All:
401074476474957834.png

Flame: “H-Huh? What is it that you see, Alice-?”

Just like that, Flame found himself unable to breathe. His tail flame wavered for a brief second. How could they have been so stupid as to stop? Now his mind was racing in every direction, and every tiny noise he'd dismissed as mere ambiance now made his heart leap.

Because Gaius literally keeled over in the middle of your walk and was visibly struggling to stay lucid? I mean, you all didn’t do this for giggles. :V

His eyes flew to Alice again. It had to have been the cold playing tricks on her. Or a scurrying Rattata; perhaps one simply—

Something made a noise. There it came was again: a tiny tip-tapping against the stone. No, not one: multiple. Footsteps. He was only partly aware of his legs backing until his back pressed against the icy wall. All around them, monstrous shapes took form in the shadows. (Stupid, utterly stupid.)

Gaius: "Agh... I told you all to go on without me!"
401076862924750848.png

Alice: "I don't think that would've bought us much time. C-Come on, help us out here!" O_O;

He Flame bent his knees out of instinct, bared his claws, readied fire in his belly, and tried everything he could to slow his breathing. Something was watching them. That much was certain. He could not determine from where, since the echo made it sound as though it came from every direction at once. Only that it sounded dangerously close. Which meant that they were essentially naked, blind to whatever was on its way and in the predator's full view. It also meant they could not run away. Not with their bodies as feeble as they were.

Narrator: “It did come from every direction at once because they were surrounded."

The footsteps ceased. Dripping came from somewhere distant, then the shrill of some Zubat, but no footsteps. Was he simply not hearing them? Or perhaps the predators were taking their time now that they saw Team Phalanx knew of their presence. Regardless, he took the extra moment's gift to glance at his teammates: Gaius was still slumped against the wall and treading hovering close to unconsciousness, which left only him and Alice capable of combat. The corridor's cylindrical shape meant that there wouldn't be much space to maneuver, but also that the ferals could only come from two directions.

A plan formed in his head.

"Alice," he whispered through gritted teeth. "On my mark. Flamethrower attack, in front of you. I'll cover the … the other…"

He stared at the darkness, and the darkness stared back at him. Except that through the darkness, a pair of eyes gleamed ever so dimly with his tail's orange light.

It was then that Flame panicked.

"Contact!"

Well, so much for that brilliant plan.

Flame:
770125468800122880.png

Gaius: “Oh great, I feel so much safer already knowing you’re taking point, Flame.” >.<
Alice: “L-Look, just keep your nerves here! Here they come!”

He had barely the time to spew a small tongue of fire from his maw, before he heard Alice let out a scream of fright and something slammed into his side, hurling his body a good few metres away, and leaving him sprawled out on the floor. Before he could recover from his dazed state, a blurry, oily shape climbed onto his chest—the functioning portion of his mind identified the assailant as a Sneasel. His arms shot up instinctively and attempted to wrestle the Sneasel off him, only for him to scream his lungs out when hot, searing pain to erupt from his upper arm.

Flame screamed his lungs out and everything became muddy and unclear. He could feel the Sneasel's claws unhook from his flesh, the warmth of blood trickling down his scales, the heat of the wound throbbing as it came into contact with the frigid air. Flame let his arms drop to the ground, thoughts hazy and choking on each breath. Any attempt to squirm or struggle or kick with his legs were countered by the feral still straddling his waist. He knew his chest was exposed, yet there was nothing he could do about it. It simply hurt too much to move. The fire brewing in his throat dissolved. Panic had gripped thrown his body into complete paralysis.

And thus Flame developed a crippling fear of knifecats for the rest of his life.

Alice: “A-At least it’s not a Nidorina-?”
701630550720512120.png

Flame: “Alice, that isn’t helping right now!” >.<

Oh! Just as the Sneasel prepared to strike again—he could barely focus, blurry as his eyes were—a great flash permeated the cave. and All of a sudden a massive stream of blue flames engulfed both him and the feral. Flame was not sure how he managed to hold back a scream, seeing as his exposed flesh was definitely not as fireproof as his scales. The ice-type shrilled in agony and crumbled on its back, fur singed and emanating wisps of smoke. It continued to twitch pathetically on the floor, eyes wide and streaming tears.

Flame remained on the floor, panting, trying to ease take his mind off the sharp pain shooting from through his arm at every tiny movement. The layer of snow he was buried in leaked cold into his bones. His head was spinning wildly, and he could hardly focus his vision anymore.

I just realized, but what arm was affected here? While it’s not the end of the world to gloss that detail, it might have implications for the stuff that Flame can do afterwards. For instance, if it was the arm his dominant hand/paw was on, he might struggle picking things up or the like afterwards.

Sounds reached his ears. Cries of struggle, the crackling of fire. There was an orange glow. Fire, most likely from the Dragonair.

Of course—the battle! Scraps of energy found their way into his bloodstream. No, he would not just lay here and die. Not so as long as his teammates needed him to be strong.

Translation of that entire last paragraph into a single line of dialogue:

Flame: “A-ALICE!” O.O

Don’t deny it, either.
803821849384583219.png


With great difficulty, he pushed himself up using his good arm, though not without hisses of displeasure. His legs were shaky, and for a moment he had to fight back the urge to vomit. Once the danger of tumbling to the ground had passed, he quickly turned to where the sounds were coming from and narrowed his eyes.

There they were, at the very edge of his tail's radius; one could easily have missed those shapes moving in near-darkness. Gaius remained slumped against the wall, locked in a struggle against one of the ferals. But where was Alice? He moved his gaze off to the side, and found her out in the open, facing off two Sneasel, breathing tongue after tongue of fire to keep them at bay—but now one of them appeared from her flank; she whirled round and lashed out with her tail. While effective at hitting its intended target, the attack also left ample space for the other Sneasel to jump at her and sink its icy fangs into her scales. Alice cried out, and began to thrash furiously.

"Flame! Make light! Make light!"

Wait, how is Gaius at once slumped against the wall and locked in a struggle with one of the Sneasel? Since if he’s slumped against it, isn’t he not really moving about? I get what you’re going for, but something about the wording feels kinda at odds with each other.

Perhaps it was the timbre of her voice pulling at his heartstrings, but he suddenly found just enough strength to spit out a steady column of flames. It inundated the cavern with vibrant light, so bright as to cover his field of view entirely. Exertion mounted He felt his exertion add up the longer he kept the stream going. It was too weak to possibly reach either of the attackers. Yet , but he kept it going regardless. After hardly ten seconds, he cut the onslaught short, panting heavily and feeling as though he'd just carried a Golem on his shoulders.

It might make sense to quickly slip in a reason why he’s continuing the fire even though it’s not working from an attack perspective. Even if it’s something as simple as “Alice asked for light, and by golly, I’m going to give her it.”

Through the tears welling in his eyes out of sheer exhaustion, he slowly stepped forward, eyes scanning left and right for movement. It didn't take very long for him to find Alice's shape in the dark. Slowly, he stepped forward, claws drawn, letting his tail fire advance with him and illuminate the fight.

Flame watched as Alice managed to shake one of the Sneasel off her back, then immediately proceeded to pin it in place with her tail and showered it with fire until it stopped screaming. There was hardly time to cheer before the other struck with its claws, drew more blood, leaving no time at all for her to recover.

"Alice!"

The sight was too much to tolerate; he dashed forward with his claws bared.

There is no way you are ever going to convince me that Flame’s interest in Alice is merely platonic. I can see that narration. >:V

Flame: “L-Look, I just don’t like seeing a cute girl get hurt like that, okay?!” >///<

However, he had barely covered half the distance to the struggling Dragonair when a primal shrill came from behind him, and he was suddenly aware of something heavy colliding with his back and wrapping its arms round his neck. With the additional weight, he immediately lost balance and tumbled to the ground face-first.

Pain, breathtaking pain shot through his body when he used his wounded arm to soften the fall. Despite that, panic seized control of his movements, and he spun his head round just in time for a pair of claws to connect with his cheek, missing his eye by a hair's breadth. His brain went into all-out slipped into a state of panic: he swatted his tail against the back of the Sneasel's head, then rotated his body as to try to throw it off.

Flame wasted no time at all in scooting above the dazed feral—essentially reversing positions—and let off a very quick burst of fire at its face, followed by two swipes of his claws at the chest and lip. Fuelled solely by adrenaline, he summoned heat in his stomach, allowing it to grow until it tickled the back of his throat. (He quickly realized that this was the Sneasel who'd first attacked him. As a quick glance revealed he saw; whole patches of fur were singed or missing.)

Flame:
Screen Shot 2022-01-10 at 12.24.04 AM.png
Feral!Sneasel: -hissing noises-
Flame: “Right, why did I expect to get an answer there?” >_>;

What he didn't see, however, were the ice-type's legs curling up and unleashing a sudden kick to his ribs, knocking the wind out of him, leaving him gasping for air. Stunned as he was, nothing could have prepared him for what came next: a pair of claws ripped right into his chest, tore a downward path across his chest and triggered a cascade of thick, searing blood. He screamed, and every sense of his seemed to fall away from reality: every sight through a mist, every sound a vague garble. His body erupted in heat greater than what even a fire type could manage.

Ah yes. That same party trick from AHFA Chapter 3. Except as seen from the receiving end. Dunno if that’s something you two happened to come up with independently or if you got the idea from there, but it’s definitely a memorable attack there.

A red glow filled the room and went away. He was distantly aware of falling, the Sneasel below him pushing him off like some dead weight, both now laying on their side. And the Sneasel turned over, [with such a look that made it obvious it wouldn't mind hurting him at all, wanted to slice him in half!]

Not really feeling that phrasing at the end given that Flame’s just had a gutting (har har) experience at the claws of this same Sneasel, so something about “it wouldn’t mind hurting me” feels redundant. Maybe something more along the premise of “kick me while I’m down” kinda like the following:

[with that made it obvious it wasn’t in the mood to grant him quarter to limp away with his wounds, much like it wanted to slice him in half!]

Somehow, through sheer adrenaline, Flame found the strength to lunge forward at the feral's face, clawing at whichever part was within reach, scratching its bleeding lip, nose, eyelids. The Sneasel retaliated likewise, seizing Flame's snout as though trying to crush it into a ball.

Growling through gritted teeth, Flame saw an opportunity. Panic blocked all inhibition. He drew his arm back, took aim, and lunged for the feral's eye sockets.

He pierced thrust his claws into the twin organs, sunk them up to mid-length, and pulled out, all in one motion. All the action emitted was a short splat; the Sneasel, a great shriek.

Ah yes, the infamous “magic trick” from The Dark Knight. Brutal, but you can’t deny it’s effective there.

The sheer intensity of the sounds stabbed into pierced Flame's ears and made him jump backwards in fright. He did not realise a living being could produce scream so loud.

It tried to cover what once were its eyes, to hold whatever pieces were still floating inside. Blood poured between its claws, mixed with a clear, gelatinous fluid.

Flame gazed down at his claws, the ones which blinded the tortured figure before him—they too were coated in the same fluid. Vitreous humor. He'd read it somewhere. There was a violent convulsion of nausea inside him, and he had to fight back the impulse to vomit his guts out.

Feral!Sneasel: [screams externally]
Gaius: "Gods, couldn't you have just clawed out its throat, Flame?"
401076862924750848.png

Flame: "I'm sorry, I couldn't think straight because I was too busy being cut to ribbons here! And since when were you one to complain about how we killed our enemies?!" >.<

As he stared down at himself, it took but seconds for his brain to register two wide, parallel tears in his scales from which blood would not stop oozing. Only then, after the sleepy shock had faded, did it truly sink in.

This was blood. His blood.

Feral!Sneasel: [continues screaming externally]
Alice: "... How are you still standing from all that blood loss?" ._.
Flame: "That's... a good question, actually..."

Flame's pulse nearly soared as he clutched the wounds with his claws, but his efforts succeeding only succeeded in making a bigger mess as the liquid soaked his paws up to the wrist.

With no immediate threat to his life, the adrenaline that had kept a pretense of liveliness in him failed. Suddenly he felt heavy, unbearably heavy. The true full pain of being sliced open flared all at once, pulsed within his body in horrid waves, and locked his muscles into spasms. There was not an inch of his body that did not make him want to scream. He was in hot lava, melting away.

Surprised his metaphor there is lava and melting away given that he’s a Fire-type and not something like him getting abruptly thrown into the ocean. Since Flame has consistently been depicted as not exactly feeling swell when immersed in water and getting lightheaded / faint in very short order.

Shock firmly gripped his body as he fell to the ground, unable to turn a muscle. The Sneasel was still screeching its lungs out, interrupted only by short, sobbing gasps. A reminder of his own, breathy agony.

Voices filtered into his head—yet they felt so distant, so disembodied, and the sounds were getting farther and farther away…

- Flame is busy slumping over into a bloody pool of slush -
Flame: "I'm okay! I'm still alive!"
- And lapses out of consciousness as Gaius and Alice look on frosted in snow -
Alice: "You know, just saying, running into that killer Froslass that only spoke in Oldspeak probably would've turned out better for us here."
Feral!Sneasel: [continues- you get the idea]
- Gaius flinches from racket -
Gaius: "Well, it'd definitely be easier on the ears. How long are we supposed to wait for Flame to get up again?"

When Flame regained consciousness, the first thing he realised was that he felt cold. And hungry. And nauseous. Where was he?

His eyes stirred open, and he was greeted by a smooth surface made completely of ice, barely visible due to the low lighting of the cavern's interior.

A mystery dungeon. He was inside a mystery dungeon.

Well that certainly doesn’t bode well for how his tail flame’s doing.
701630550720512120.png


Flame: “Blugh… I guess it was too much to hope for a repeat of Chapter VIII , huh?” @.@

Although still in a drunken stupour, everything came back to him. The escape orb. The Sneasel. Fighting for his life. The last thing he remembered was goring one of the ferals. After that, nothing.

Flame sat up with some difficulty, letting out a prolonged groan when his head began swirling violently, rocked back and forth by the tempest of sensations hitting him all at once. His body felt everything but normal. Regardless of that, he needed to know what had happened to his teammates.

"Gaius? Alice?" he said hoarsely.

Flame: "Argh... well, that wasn't fun, but I'm back guys."
- Cue silence -
Flame: "... G-Guys?" ._.

He tried to move, to climb on his knees, but was rewarded with an explosion of heat in his chest that made him cry out in agony. Clutching his stomach, he arched his head downwards in pain. A small pool of blood had gathered underneath him, wetting his legs and paws. Trying his best to control his breathing, and the rising panic within him, he watched as fresh drops of blood trickled from the exposed flesh, with more running down his wounded arm with each second.

Oh, Arceus… he thought while ignoring the bile rising in his throat. I'm bleeding out. This is bad. This is really bad…

Yeeeaaah. Kinda a terrible time not to have something to apply pressure to those wounds there. Though this is also the reason why when being stabbed, it’s after the object is removed that’s the most dangerous, since you’re removing the plug that is keeping the wound from filling up with blood.

He had no idea how long he'd been laying there. It couldn't have been too long, considering the amount of blood he'd lost wasn't quite enough to knock him unconscious. A few minutes, perhaps five at most. But he surely wouldn't last even that unless he found a way to stop the bleeding immediately. Already every muscle in his body felt heavy and weak, his tail but a tiny candlelight, barely managing to fend off the darkness.

"Guys? Are you there?"

Nothing. No sound whatsoever, other than the echo of his voice. Something dropped in his chest, made him and numbed him to his core. He shot a flame over the room to see.

There! Light flooded and disappeared in the span of moments, but he'd seen something, a figure slumped against the wall.

Flame: “G-Gaius?”

After reigning in a bout of shaking, he shifted his weight on his good arm and pushed forward with his legs, hissing at the monumental effort required for such a simple action. He stopped to recollect his breath, then pushed himself forward once more. And again. And again. The blood leaking from his chest wound was leaving a long, messy trail as he dragged on.

Past the lifeless body of a Sneasel clutching its empty eye sockets, past the mixture of fluids that made his stomach clamp, he kept pushing—a sudden shift of his bad arm, and his vision exploded in red, and he cried out, each breath shallower than the next.

Flame shifted his head minutely to avoid angering his wounds further, blinked to clear his vision of blurriness. The figure slumped against the wall was Gaius. He was unmoving. Was he dead? As much as he wanted to answer that question, his mind was growing too hazy to think.

Flame: “Boy is this not boding well for our long-term team prospects.” ._.
- Flame looks down at his oozing chest wound -
Flame: “E-Er… right, let’s worry about the short-term a bit more first.”

At the Grovyle's feet were large rags of cloth, a sight he considered unusual until he saw the various objects strewn all around the Grovyle, ranging from lacerated torn maps, coins, a pouch of berries, the communications badge from Portus, and a few other items he couldn't make out in the dim light. None of that mattered, though—his eyes were focused on the rags.

Slowly, he raised his trembling paw towards the longest piece within his grasp, wrapping his claws round it with more force than intended and bringing it to his chest. He lay his eyes on the gash running down his upper arm. For a moment, he hesitated. His claws were stiff and shaky. This would not be easy to pull off.

Breathing raggedly, he put the middle of the rag directly over his wound, then brought one end under his arm and to the other side. As soon as it started to tighten around the wound, his whole arm flared up, causing him to bite hard on his lip to hold back the whimper in his throat. It took several seconds for the pain to ease and for his eyes to stop watering. He repeated the process again to cover the length of the gash, and pulled even tighter.

Actually, I just realized, but how does Flame know how to do this and that this would work to stop his bleeding? Is this more residual memories of his? Or something he picked up from his teammates? If it’s the latter, you probably want to acknowledge that in passing.

This time, he could not hold himself back from crying out, but he'd done his job: the impromptu bandage remained in place. It pressed tightly enough for him to shift his attention to his other, bigger wound. He stared at it for a few seconds. Something blocked his throat. There was no way he could bandage this problem away—not with the few rags at his disposal. As he breathed through gritted teeth, his chest continued to lose blood at a steady rate.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" he growled through gritted teeth, letting himself fall to the floor. There had to be something else. Something—anything!

I mean, you could try plugging it with snow/ice, but I don’t think that would work so hot as a reptile even with Fire typing.

He clawed away any useless items and almost did the same to the berry pouch, before realising what was in his claws. When he found his claws were shaking too much to pull away the string, he ripped the pouch open and let the seven or so berries roll out onto the floor. His eyes widened: four oran berries, blue and succulent, promising relief from all the pain.

He wasted no time in scooping up the berries in his paw and cramming them into his maw. As soon as he swallowed, sweet, sweet relief washed over his body in waves, numbing the pain in his abdomen. A tingly feeling spread across his limbs and returned a sliver of energy to previously lifeless parts of his body. He could feel the mist obfuscating his thoughts clear ever so slightly, and a satisfied moan escaped his throat. The fire on his tail flared with newfound life.

While relatively weak in single doses, as Alice once told him, oran berries had narcotic qualities that made them a high potential for addiction—and he was starting to see why. He knew that, in truth, his body was still just as fucked up as before, that the berry's painkilling effect did little more than mask everything under an endorphin rush. It did nothing to stop the blood oozing from his abdomen. It did nothing to change how unbelievably cold he felt.

Ah yes, the infamous Oxycontin berries of this setting. I wonder if Sitrus Berries also have similar properties in this story or if they have actual regenerative properties given that canonically they leave a lingering HP boost.

- Flame looks down at his still-bleeding chest -
Flame: “... Starting to think I should’ve gone with that snow plug.”
701630550720512120.png


Right now, though, that was good enough for him.

With the looming threat of death pushed out of his mind, he climbed on his knees, clutched his open wound as tightly as he could, and scurried over to his leader's side.

"G-Gaius?" he reached over to touch the Grovyle's face.

Flame stopped dead in his tracks when he let his eyes wander over the full extent of his leader's injuries. Claw marks, trickling with blood, ran across his cheek and side. He looked even paler than before, if such a thing was even possible. The tips of his claws and toes were almost indistinguishable from the ice. Condensation still exited his mouth, which meant he was still breathing. He was still alive.

Flame: “... Uh… yay? Not sure how much I’m going to look forward to him going back to his same old self once we get to the other side…” >_>;
- Flame trails off and looks about his surroundings -
Flame: “... If we get to the other side.”
401074476474957834.png


Whether that mattered at all was another issue entirely.

"Gaius," he shook the Grovyle's shoulders. "You have to wake up. Please."

No reaction. Not a shift in his demeanour, not a contraction in his face. Nothing. He was knocked out cold. Perhaps a better state to be in, considering the circumstances—but not what they needed to escape. Not now. There was simply no more time left.

"Gaius!" he hit the back of his paw against the Grovyle's cheek, and, seeing no result, allowed anger and resentment to boil up within him, just like the flames licking the back of his throat.

He was moments away from dousing his leader with fire. But … what was the point? Even if this somehow awoke Gaius, there was no chance of him being able to walk to safety. Not like this. Not with frostbite, not with third-degree burns. His rage simmered, and his fire retreated, and he was left a frowning, defeated Charmeleon.

"You smug, fucking bastard…" he clenched his fists and shut his eyes.

Ah yes, some of Flame’s true feelings about Gaius coming up to the surface there. I would assume that had Gaius been less of a bully (to put it charitably) towards him earlier in the story, that Flame probably would’ve had a different train of thought at the end.

Already his heartbeat fluttered to dangerous levels began to race, his claws trembled of their own accord. He hated feeling powerless. It made him feel useless. He would not just lay down and cry while his teammates drew their last breaths.

He raised his head, and looked behind him. His breathing was almost impossible to control. Where is Alice?

Scanning his surroundings, he saw the dim outline of a pokémon near the edge of his light. In a few seconds, he scooted in its direction. Near the Dragonair lay a Sneasel, burnt beyond recognition, her bag torn open and its contents spilled over strewn about the cavern floor. Alice herself was facing away from him, coiled tightly and whimpering beneath under her breath.

"Alice!"

Flame: “Oh no no no. P-Please be alright!” O.O

He closed the gap between them, taking a moment to digest observe the claw marks and brine that marred her scales, as well as the red scarf round her neck. Just like with Gaius, it looked as though the ferals had wrestled ferociously to rip the bag off her. It seemed a ludicrous thing to consider, yet there was no other explanation.

Actually, what did the ferals take from the bag? I assume the meat that they gathered, but I don’t recall that ever being explicitly stated.

"Alice, c-can you hear me?" he said in a louder tone, an edge of panic creeping into his voice. He took hold of her cheek, and turned her to face him. Her eyes were open, if barely so. There—she was stirring!

You probably want that panic to come through a bit more in Flame’s dialogue with something like a stutter or nervous repetition.

"Flame?" she slurred, eyes glazed over. "Wh-wha…"

"Th-Thank Arceus," he said breathlessly, a weight lifting off his chest. "F-For a moment, I thought … What's wrong? Can you walk?"

Same deal, re: Flame and panic here. Unless you’re going to explicitly note him having calmed down a bit in description between these two paragraphs.

"I…" she squeezed her eyes shut, a whimper escaping her throat. "I don't … know…"

Flame frowned deeply as his heart flooded with guilt. To see her Alice this weak was simply intolerable unbearable. It tugged at his heartstrings in a way that made him want to share her pain, if only to ease the burden. Perhaps it was because it was her, or perhaps because Gaius could not properly express how much pain he was in.

Flame: “Uh… yeah, I’m pretty sure that it’s a bit more that that about Gaius.” >_>;
Alice: “F-Flame? I… really don’t feel good right now.”

"I want … to sleep," her voice was shaky and hoarse. "Please, just let me sleep…"

[ ]

"Alice, please," he spoke softly. "Don't say that. We can still get out of here."

IMO this is one of those moments that would probably work a bit better with a dash of reaction from Flame to describe his body language and internal thought process.

Flame: "Also if you fall asleep like this, you're probably not going to wake up afterwards." ._.

Flame did what felt most natural: he brought his arms round her neck and pulled her into a tight embrace, her forehead pressed into his chest. A warm, fuzzy sensation invaded his body as Alice melted in his embrace, hooking her tail round his in a vice grip. Deep inside he wished to remain like that for minutes, hours, whatever it took to bring her warmth—but fate was not so kind to his wishes.

Er… if Oran Berries really are just painkillers in this setting and don’t have any additional properties such as serving as coagulants, Flame probably doesn’t want to do that given the absolute state of his chest right about now.
701630550720512120.png


Alice: “F-Flame? I think you’re bleeding on my face.” >///<
Flame: “... R-Right, maybe I should nuzzle instead or something, huh?”
701630550720512120.png


They remained locked in embrace for a little longer, then she parted from his chest, her eyes blinking to regain focus. At times they stared into his, and at other times, they seemed to stare into nothingness, all while never changing position.

He brushed a trembling claw against her cheek. "I need us to make it out of here alive, Alice. How are you feeling?"

"C-c-cold…" Alice struggled to spit out. "Everything hurts. And, and I just feel so tired that…"

Alice trailed off mid-sentence, evidently too tired to finish her thoughts. Flame could empathise with that. His paws and feet felt as if they were made of ice, heavy and numb. It was a wonder how his claws were still even responding to his commands at all. To think what she must have been feeling, born without the blessing of fire, susceptible to cold no less…

Yeeeeah, seems logical that the cold would eventually catch up with a Fire-type, especially a weakened Fire-type that’s biologically a reptile.


He put both his paws on her cheeks; only now did he notice the stains his blood-soaked paws left.

… Oh, so he really was bleeding on her there.
701630550720512120.png


"Hey, stay with me. Okay? I'm not leaving you behind. Not when we're so close."

Although she nodded, Flame was of the impression she hadn't fully heard him. Her eyes roamed the surrounding darkness.

"Wh-where's Gaius?"

Flame hesitated for a moment. "He's in no condition to walk right now. I can't carry both of you, Alice. Can you walk? It's just a short ways away, I promise."

Flame: “... Actually wait a minute, do I want to carry Gaius here?”
592603469265764372.png


The words exited his mouth before he truly realised what they meant. Was he truly going to carry Gaius out of here? Might as well, he thought; if they weren't going to make it, they might as well die together.

For a moment she absorbed his words, visibly fighting shivers, breathing at such a pace that made it seem she was going to suffocate. Her gaze was held down at towards the floor.

"I don't … I just don't know," she buried her snout in his warm chest, and he responded by caressing the back of her head—until she pulled back, eyes wide in alarm at the fresh blood smearing her nose.

So just how red is Alice’s head and face right about now anyways? :V

Alice: “F-Flame?”
401074476474957834.png

Flame: “Er… yeah, long story about that. But we should probably stick to nuzzling for a while.”
701630550720512120.png

Alice: “Well, I’m certainly not going to be sleeping well for a while.” ._.

Her eyes shifted lower and lower, and she made a choking sound. "Flame, your chest…"

He pressed an arm over the wound, refusing to look down at himself. "I know. Th-that's not important right now."

"Yes it is," she hissed with the first hint of energy creeping into her voice. "How could you say that? If you don't do something soon, you—you'll…"

Flame frowned. Already his arm was bathed in the thick fluid. He did not like being reminded of how close to death he was dancing.

"I know," he repeated, weaker this time.

Flame: “Look, I already checked and we don’t have anything to hold it shut, Alice. We need to get out of here for either of us to have a chance right now.”
Alice: “... I can’t believe that I’m about to say this, but have you considered an ice plug?” .-.
Flame: “... Considering how weak my internal flame seems to be getting, I think that might hurt more than it’d help at the moment.” ._.;

That only caused her to continue gawking at his wound. Flame averted his gaze to look at the objects strewn across the floor near them, hoping to replicate the luck that he'd had. There was that medallion Alice seemed to care for, scattered rags, and an apple that had gathered too much frost to still be edible. There were no narcotic berries to ease her pain.

He turned back to her—but she had stopped staring, unhooked her tail from his, and backed away as she breathed heavily and muttered curses under her breath. She then brought her tail up to wipe the blood off her nose, adjusting her battered scarf.

Considering how that’s Alice’s sole momento of her mother that she still has, if she’s meant to hold onto this for later in the plot, you probably want one of either her or Flame to notice it and scoop it up on the way out. Since it’s not explicitly acknowledged as being recovered here and… yeah, they’re not exactly going to be able to go back for it after this chapter.

Alternatively, if she is meant to just lose it here, you should probably have her react a bit at some point in one of the chapters between here and XVIII, since… yeah, given how she reacted to Flame finding out about her medallion, I can’t imagine she wouldn’t be torn up over losing that for good.


"W-we're wasting time. Make it quick. Please."

Flame blinked in surprise, [mainly from Alice's quick recovery from defeatism]: he could see a sparkle of resolve in her pupils. Weak, flickering, but undoubtedly present. It was all they needed right now.

"I will," he smiled warmly.

Something about the “mainly” here feels like it’s missing some sort of “but also” to complement it. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s something that stood out to me as missing from the setup.

Not wanting her sudden resolve to fade, he placed his paws on the layer of snow below him, poised his legs—noting that he could not feel anything below his knee—and propelled propped himself onto his feet.

It was by no means a graceful transition. Flame stumbled forward, nausea and dizziness hitting him simultaneously together at once, both his legs shifting and trembling at the unwelcome load they were being forced to endure. It was only through a combination of willpower and the narcotic effect of his Oran Berries that he managed to stay upright.

I actually wonder if we’re ever going to see the Oxycontin berries and their effects come up in the future, since they’re kinda very basic items just lying around the setting, but at the same time, I can’t recall of their effects ever coming up again in the plot after this chapter.

After a short distance, Flame dropped back to his knees, grasping Gaius' arm. He pulled it so that it hooked round his neck and onto his other shoulder. Then, he attempted to rise to his feet, but the Grovyle's weight was simply too much for his body to tolerate. His muscles felt heavy, impossibly heavy, as though they were burning up with each instant he subjected himself to such crushing pressure.

With a heaving groan, he fell back to his knees and let Gaius flop back against the wall. It took him several seconds to catch his breath. It couldn't be done. He was simply too weak, and Gaius was simply too heavy.

His paws curled into trembling fists. Briefly, he wondered just why he was volunteering to carry him in the first place.

Alice: “Because if we have to do missions with just the two of us, we’re going to starve to death in short order?” ._.
Flame: “That’s a pretty decent argument, but are we sure we’re still going to be able to do missions even if we survive the next 10 minutes?”
701630550720512120.png


Of course, it was undeniable that he'd grown somewhat attached to the Grovyle over the past week—but why, exactly? No amount of pity could erase the horrible treatment he'd silently endured at his expense. And it wasn't just having nearly been decapitated on two separate occasions—those he could nearly forgive. No, it was the constant glares he'd get for every mistake, the mockful comments that dug deep into his heart, the implicit fear of even speaking to his leader. All at once, he remembered the desperate rush out of Portus; he remembered the paralysis; he remembered Gaius screaming at Alice to leave him behind. What twist of fate it took, was for the roles to be reversed!

Because it’s a scary world out there and you’re kinda clingy as a personality?
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Though part of me does wonder how much of Flame’s earlier care of Gaius basically boiled down to “Alice cares about the team, so I should care about him too” since at the time of writing, he was more or less ready to cut Gaius loose in the most recent chapters offsite and admitted that he was lying to himself about Gaius having been someone he could’ve called a friend. Or at least as of the point of the story we’ve gotten to.

He's already shown he wouldn't do the same for me, Flame growled through gritted teeth. To hell with him.

Every sensible neuron left thawed screamed at him to carry Alice instead, help ensure her and his own survival, feeble as they were. Dead weight would simply reduce their chances.

But Alice looked at him expectantly, and, right then, he knew that despite all those thoughts, he would never be able to forgive himself for leaving Gaius behind. The only thing worse than dying was knowing that he'd let others die.

Considering how he also felt this way towards a Scyther triarius that was more than a little bit dickish to him 4 chapters down the line, I have to wonder if prior to getting his memories nuked if Flame had some sort of moment he felt particularly ashamed or regretful about that basically involved him doing just that. Since… yeah, Flame has a habit of sure worrying a lot about whether Pokémon that were assholes to him die or not.

Alice: "(Thank goodness he didn't remember the part where we both tried to pass him off as a raider, otherwise I don't think it would've been just Gaius he thought of leaving behind.)" ._.;
Flame: "You know I can hear that, right? I mean, I guess I should be more mad about that, but you've been nothing but nice since then. And Gaius, well... you saw the text up there."
Alice: "... Are you doing this because you have a crush on me or something?"
Flame: "Er... I... uh... maybe? Though I can't imagine our recruitment prospects are all that good if we let Gaius die here. What with most of Task Force Aegis probably being dead right now. A-Anyhow, let's just move on before I bleed out!"

"Flame, please," Alice whispered. "We have to go."

She attempted to lift the Grovyle's arm with her neck, but to no use avail. Her body was simply ill-suited to carry other pokémons' weight.

"R-right," Flame snapped to attention, climbing up on his feet. And to think he'd been the one cooing her not to give up not thirty seconds before.

Staring down at the limp body, Flame's mind blanked. Acting on instinct, he bent down, took hold of his ankles and pulled, dragging Gaius towards him.

Good thing they’re in a snowy environment, since… yeah, that would leave a mark if they were on gravel or something. ^^;

Good thing we're all starved for food… he grunted as he repositioned himself to face the darkness ahead. The last thing he wanted was turning his back to whatever lay ahead. Thankfully, being in a corridor, there was little doubt as to which way was out.

They began to march forward, dragging Gaius along with them. While tiring, the weight was not impossible to handle, and he was able to march at a very steady pace into the cavern. Alice remained glued to his side the entire time, finding every excuse to touch his scales and steal whatever heat possible. She kept muttering something underneath her breath that he could not make out.

It seemed pointless to ask if she was okay.

Flame: “You know, if I didn’t have a gaping wound in my chest and everyone wasn’t about five minutes away from dying, I have the feeling that I’d really, really like this moment right about now.

He walked forward for minutes on end, his body heaving with heavy and exhausted breaths, trying his best to ignore the blood dripping down to his legs. The cold invaded his mind, superimposed itself over every thought, enveloped the entire world—how on earth was Alice coping with this?

He chuckled to himself, vaguely amused at the thought of him, a being of fire, complaining about frigid temperatures. Nature probably hadn't planned for such a scenario. In fact, it was possible his body simply did not know how to react.

I mean, it doesn’t help that canonically your body is very torn up and you’re missing chunks of protective layers over decent parts of said body right now. Though once again, Flame is really lucky there wasn’t snow, otherwise there’s decent odds he’d be dead right about now.

Perhaps that was why, step after step, he began to feel his legs wobble slightly, wholly rigid, as though incapable of sustaining his own weight. Simultaneously, his tail fire grew weaker, and it was harder to see where they were headed. yet He could see that the walls and ceiling were angling away, becoming larger with every step.

Behind him, it felt as if Gaius had become much heavier than before. He tried his hardest to concentrate on something to keep his legs going. At first there was only confusion, hunger, rain, cold, but soon his mind settled on one particular image: the three of them sitting outside of Camp Tempest, eating away at their meals, an idiotic grin stamped on their faces even as the first drops of rainfall came. Yes—that was the kind of normalcy he wished for Team Phalanx, no matter how much he happened to loathe one of its members.

Proooobably a good thing Flame didn’t focus too much on the part where Gaius just hogged half the loaf and one of the cheese slices all to himself, since he might’ve let go of Gaius’ ankles there. :V

His thoughts were still of Team Phalanx when the corridor transitioned to a room, light—actual, natural sunlight!—streaming in from a breach in the ice wall. Flame felt his heart lurch, whether it was from the physical effort and injuries or from knowing that they were nearly there. There was a sky, he could see—and heard wind, fierce, roaring wind that swept the world outside.

Flame: "Are you seriously telling me that we got wiped this close to our exit?"
Alice: "Flame? Considering what we're seeing from outside, I'm not sure if we're going to get any relief." ._.
- Flame looks at Alice, and then at Gaius, and his own torn up body -
Flame: "T-There’s got to be someone we can get help. I hope... and if we can't, let's at least die seeing the sun."

His thoughts were of Team Phalanx, only of Team Phalanx, even as he struggled to drag Gaius up a tall slope covered with snow, were still of Team Phalanx as he and Alice emerged from the cave and took their first steps in—

Flame could not breathe.

This was not his own doing, however: it was the flurry of frigid wind that hit his body full-on. A scream caught in his throat, but could not let it out, could not process the innumerable spears being jammed through his muscles, eating his flesh from within. In mere moments his legs failed from under him, and he fell into the thick snow.

Flame: “Wh-What? N-No! Not now! Not while we’re this close!”

The wind swept over his bare scales like an ocean tide, howling so loudly he nearly missed Alice letting out an anguished scream next to him. He tried to move in her direction, but then he felt snow spill into his open chest wound. Feeling the cold seep into his very core, his body began convulsing, and his heart raced, reverberating so strongly in his chest that it seemed poised to fail soon.

Squinting, he rose on his elbows, and his eyes wandered upwards. Though blurred by the snowstorm, the sky was a deep, deep purple, with great clouds swirling against the great expanse. Visions of the Portus sky flashed in his mind's eye, and briefly, his heartbeat caught in his throat: he asked himself whether it was even possible for a portal storm to appear within a mystery dungeon, or whether that storm was the same one currently raging over Portus.

I still have no idea what on earth is going on with Flame and these “second chance” moments he keeps getting into involving Mystery Dungeons. Though from those visions he’s seeing and how two different factions want him for reasons relating to the imminent mass expansion of Mystery Dungeons, I’m honestly expecting it to turn out that Flame has some level of control over MDs and related phenomena. Willingly or not. It’d explain why he’s 2/2 for moments where he rightfully ought to be dead in them but manages to inexplicably turn up far away in a safe place with his buddies.

Flame: "Wait, am I actually seeing this, or is this delirium from blood loss right now?"

Still shaking beyond all hope, he craned his head to make sense of his surroundings. Gaius was still laying where he'd dropped him, while Alice lay in the snow to his side, sobs wracking her form, tears rolling down her cheeks as she flailed her tail around in desperation.

"A-Alice…" he choked on a sob, both from seeing her in such a state and for from the agony he was feeling. It didn't matter much which one of the two was the culprit. They his friends needed him to be strong.

It took a monumental effort to simply stand up, to fight the impulse to just lay there and submit to the cold. It would have been easier to surrender. It would have been so much easier. No need to struggle, no need to fight against the current.


He looked around them, and saw nothing but a great white expanse, stretching on in every direction, an endless snowy plain, utterly devoid of life. No—it wasn't empty. Far, far away, great structures rose over the snow. Enormous spires, rising above the horizon, clustered together. Was that the exit? But it was so far, far away…

I can’t tell whether this is just normal trippy MD scenery or given Virgo’s folktale which turns out to have a pretty decently sized kernel of truth as of Chapter XXX, if the team’s seeing glimpses of the world on the other end of the Gateway. Since those spires didn’t exactly sound natural from their description.

It took some time for him to notice—it was nearly indiscernible, after all, especially with the storm raging—but the very air ahead of him appeared as distorted, rippling as though made of transparent liquid. This was it. The reason they bothered to put up a fight, to fight against inevitability, it was here. All but a few metres away.

The wind was still pounding his head in all its force when he fell to his knees beside Alice, put his paws to her middle and shook vigorously.

"ALICE!" he screamed over the crushing winds. "We have to GO!"

Yet she said nothing, failed to even notice him as she shivered madly and cried in agony that he could only imagine was much worse than his.

There's no time, he realised. We're all about to die here.

Flame: “F-Five meters. We just need to make it five more meters…”

Grimacing, he hooked one arm round her neck, then leaned to the side to grasp at one of Gaius' paws with his own. Every nerve ending in his body screamed in varying degrees of intensity, yet he somehow managed to keep his hold on Gaius as he took his first step forward, the snow dissolving all sensation in his feet.

He trudged on, every step a monumental effort, a catalyst for a new wave of white hot agony in every limb. Tears streamed from his eyes freely; his legs finally gave away, but then the world shimmered away, and Flame saw black, only black.

I actually legit can’t tell reading this over again whether Flame made it through the exit legitimately or if whatever happened in Castra Aeterna happened a second time. I’m assuming the latter, though that last sentence could honestly be interpreted either way.

Flame: "Urgh... I don't suppose the story can give us another lucky roll like what happened at Castra Aeterna, can it?"
Alice: "Well, if it doesn't, the story should logically end right here, shouldn't it?
- Flame peeks ahead down the page and spots… -
Flame: "Oh thank Arceus, there’s a teaser. So we actually got that lucky roll."
Alice: "... Gaius, are you feeling alright enough to comment?"
Gaius: "Argh... I can't speak for how I'm doing in the story, but I think I can manage a teaser, yeah."

Speaking of which, let’s take a gander at said teaser, huh?

GENERAL VALENTINIAN ARRESTED IN TREASON PLOT

This morning of 15th October, 745 AUC, Praetorian Guard units stationed in Hadrianopolis arrested the provincial commander Valentinian Garchomp, as well as his military entourage. Reports distributed from Supreme Commander Sycorax indicate that Valentinian had crafted plans to have his soldiers acclaim him as Augustus and launch a revolt against His Majesty, and was in the final stages of enacting his plot at the moment of the arrest.

Reacting to the news, Sycorax remarked ironically that the outcome was "the best this traitor could have asked for", as, if he hadn't been caught in time, then he would have faced "the full wrath of Our Benefactors"— no doubt referring to the attempted revolt of General Magnentius, whose army was purged from existence mere hours after being illegally acclaimed as Augustus in 732 AUC.


-Front-page article for the news publication Urbe Cotidie.

Flame: "Waaaait a minute. How long has Sycorax been on the job again? Since he was talking about that revolt from 13 years years ago as if it happened just yesterday!"
Gaius: "I'm pretty sure that Dragonite in this setting live for a crazy long time, and the Emperor did supposedly get him as a gift… Considering how they’re apparently super-close, for all we know, he’s had his job since he took over from his dad."
Alice: "... I’m sorry, did that newspaper article just say that those Benefactors put down General Magnentius' revolt within hours? I mean, I knew that his revolt was thwarted, and that Our Benefactors have provided decisive assistance that helped rout entire armies in the past... but just what are these Benefactors if they have that kind of power? How could anyone resist them?" ._.
- Flame paws at back of head -
Flame: "I mean, I guess that's something we can try and learn more about next time-?"
Gaius: "Hold up. This next chapter has a total of about 8400 words in it. I wanna see what happens because I'm not just sitting here and waiting to see if I died off from some cold weather and some unwashed weasels!"
- Flame and Alice look down at their bodies, before looking back at Gaius -
Flame: “Egh… I think I’m content with being patient here. Massive gashes have a way of really sucking the energy out of you.”
Alice: “Yeah, and the review format here does require us to comment on things from the next chapter on. We literally couldn’t complete the series without spoiling unpublished chapters.”
Gaius: “Y-You can’t seriously just keep me in suspense for two weeks like this!”
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Alice: "Gaius, relax. I doubt the author’s just going to kill you off right here.”
Flame: “(Also, you were still showing up in the story 15 chapters down the line.) But look, there’s a review event going on. Maybe we’ll have a chance to check up on you a bit sooner than that. We’ll see where our lucky roll took us next time."

Alright, as for parting thoughts. I'd say that as bleak as it is, what I like most about this chapter is that it gives some insight as to who your cast is in terms of their thought process and motivations. Just both what the cast explicitly does gives quite a bit of insight as to who they are, and there's little bits here and there between the lines that made me say "hmmm" a bit.

As for things that I wasn't as fond of, there's not a whole lot that I haven't already outlined in the writeup. Some parts where I thought the description was a bit lacking, or some certain actions or thought processes didn't quite make sense (though I suppose being injured and half-frozen would impair rational judgement a bit). But there's not really a whole lot that I'd change about this chapter in terms of the core of what it is.

So congrats, @Shadow of Antioch , I'll be looking forward to your story catching up with your main run in due time, since just what I've gotten through for a second time has been a wild ride. ^^
 
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windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partners
  1. sneasel-nip
  2. bidoof
  3. absol
  4. kirlia
  5. windskull-bidoof
  6. little-guy-windskull
  7. purugly
  8. mawile
  9. manectric
Hi Shadow, dropping by with another review. This time I'm covering 4-6.

This chapter definitely felt like an exposition/worldbuilding chapter. The next one did as well, to a lesser extent. This chapter is the one where we learn more about the current state of the world, while the next deals more with how that directly affects our main characters. I do think that, by setting this chapter in a library, it helped deal with the issue of an out of place info dump. And we get some basic questions answered.

Also. Flame. Don’t be gross with an encyclopedia of all things. Flame. Stop.

Moving on… chapter 5 felt like a soft gut punch. Like. Just the concept of Flame and the others having to eat garbage to get by. And then, on top of that, him running into an obviously drunk Gaius at the bar and getting into an altercation. I do hope that Gaius gets called on that later, when he’s sober, because for someone that’s been complaining about the team’s money problems he isn’t being very fair to the team. At least offer to share, my man!

At the same time, this is another one of those worldbuilding details that helps sell your vibe. There’s not really any social safety nets to catch people that are struggling. Maybe there’s some places where you can go and beg and get a little food if you’re lucky. But if you starve, you starve, and the empire isn’t going to do anything about that. (And probably doesn’t particularly care, either, if the town from chapter 6 is anything to go by)

As for chapter 6, I found the town’s reactions painfully believable. And I can’t blame them for their anger. I mean, I’m sure some of the civics want to help out and make things better for people, but I bet there’s just as many that are just in it for the money. And others that are just trying to make a living and don’t care too much how they do it. I mean, we just established the fact that Gaius robs people on occasion, and from the sound of things has gotten away with it for a while. I wonder how long it’ll take before that comes back to bite him?

In case I don't get around to another review before the end of the blitz, here's just a few general thoughts of the story so far, overall:

Plot wise, this had so far felt like it has a very standard plot structure overall, albeit with a few hiccups here and there. The protagonist wakes up with amnesia, meets the Pokemon that they'll be forming a rescue-team equivalent with, and goes on their first dungeon excursion. Then they meet some more experienced team members. There's a little bit of deviance in that there is a notable number of townies that have issue with the peace-keepers, so I wonder if things will be diverging from the norm soon?

Now, where this deviates from the usual is *world building*. As I mentioned in my previous review, you've done a great job of setting up a world that feels like dark fantasy, and that vibe has continued into these chapters. Some of the things are relatively minor, like the taverns and being drunk being treated as a problem instead of just existing, while others are much more obvious. The most notable example is the blatant display of slavery in the Ariel pov scene (hey, great way to tank my feelings about her in 500 words or less 8P)

I don't want to harp on your prose much because this is older work, but I did want to point out that I noticed a few instances of "weak" adverbs. An example below.

Gently, a joyful smile spread across her features.

In this case, a smile generally already conveys a positive feeling, so adverbs affirming that just feels redundant. (I could make an argument for including gently since it describes how the smile spread, but a smile is usually already joyful.) Where as if it was, say, an angry or sad smile, then an adverb affirming that anger/sadness would be more useful.

As a final thought… I have absolutely no clue where things are going to go next. I imagine we’re about to get our first actual view of the “Scum.” I gotta wonder how that’s going to work out, and if things are going to be as black and white as is being presented so far. (I highly doubt it)

Overall, I am curious to see what happens next. It doesn’t feel like much happened in this chunk, and the story definitely feels slow burn, but I imagine once things start picking up, they’re *definitely* start picking up. Until next time.
 
Chapter XVI: Prospect

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XVI: Prospect


"... In their complacency, the Primeval Lords allowed themselves to become inert; in their inertia, they allowed us mortals to grow decadent. Even as the plague of ignorance spread unabated, even as pokémon reverted to their primal states to fight pointless squabbles, even as our Republic grew selfish and corrupt—the Lords did not act.

Content in their place on the Celestial Throne, they neglected the very creatures they had sworn to guide. Alas, even in their final moments they were too blinded by their own hubris to foresee the coming of Our Benefactors, and the cleansing fire that would spell their doom.

The world was saved that day. Rejoice; for you are now on the path to Ascension."


Excerpt from the book "Our Benefactors", written by Royal Scribe Eli Kadabra.


Camp Tempest

They should have been overjoyed. To finally be out of that damned tent, able to feel the sun on their scales, to walk about on their own legs, was supposed to have been a liberating experience. Even more so after experiencing how slowly the last few days of their recovery had seemed to crawl by.

And yet, Team Phalanx currently felt nothing of the sort.

Flame emitted a soft sigh as he sat among the tall grass, flanked by his teammates, waiting outside the very tent they'd been stuck in for days. He followed a pair of nurses with his eyes as they hurried a bloodied Raichu on a stretcher, yet he wasn't really paying attention. No; his mind was replaying the last words said to them by Sycorax the day before.

'From this moment, in light of the demise of Task Force Aegis, you will be integrated in the Imperial Army as part of the VII Legion.'

The words never failed to dig a cold pit in his stomach whenever he recalled them.

They were soldiers now. Not a ragtag team of glorified rescuers; they were full, salaried warriors of the Imperial Army, with their own rank and responsibilities to the Empire. Soldiers. Just repeating that word in his head seemed to make his shoulders heavier. Despite the full implications of that duty eluding him, he knew one thing: soldiers fought wars. And there was a war going on right now, a war he'd never asked to be a part of.

Nobody asked me if I wanted to become a soldier. They never even gave us a choice, Flame thought, bitterness welling up inside him as he ran his claws through the stalks of grass at his side.

No matter how much he tried, the fear just wouldn't go away. The fear of being sent off to fight. The fear of reliving those frenzied moments all those days ago, of coming as close to death as he had, just one claw swipe or ice beam away from nothingness. Or what if they got to Alice or Gaius first?

His claws tensed to grab a fistful of grass at his side. No, he was not a fighter—he could barely keep his heart in his chest during an engagement, and Alice had just recently taught him how to breathe fire. To face off against battle-hardened enemies? Madness, he thought with an involuntary shake of the head, pure madness.

Sensing his quickened blood flow, Flame's mind attempted to inject soothing thoughts: perhaps he still had time to change things around. Perhaps he wouldn't be sent off right away. Didn't new recruits receive training? Yes, he thought with a great deal of relief, they would stay here in Aesernia and train before any of that could happen. Perhaps it would buy them a week, or two, or a month if luck shone on him, long enough to formulate some sort of escape plan. The rapidness with which that thought sprung up surprised even him, but in his mind, there was simply no other way. Flame didn't even know if his teammates would approve of such an act, or if they would loathe him for thinking it. And yet, every possible scenario in his head ended with him and Alice and Gaius being shipped off to die in a nameless field, against a nameless enemy, for an Empire he knew nothing about.

Deep in thought, Flame shot a tentative look at his teammates. Gaius sat to his right, paying more attention to his bandaged stump than to his surroundings. Flame hadn't heard a word coming out of his mouth ever since the meeting with Sycorax. Frankly, he couldn't be sure whether his thoughts concerned their new employment at all, and not the two-thirds of a hand he had left—not that Flame could blame him. To his other side was Alice, her serpentine body sprawled on the grass, her cheek crushing a wilted flower. The moment he met her gaze she shot her head up to look at him, blinking furiously, then twisted her neck around to look, only to let her head fall to the ground with an audible groan.

He could understand her pain; Sycorax had promised someone from the army would greet them once discharged. Approximately two and a half hours had passed without anyone so much as deigning the three a glance—a fact made all the more exasperating now that Camp Tempest had been taken over by the Imperial Army, who now presided its entrance, inhabited its tents, and populated its many paths as if things had always been like this.

"Are you okay?" Flame said softly.

Alice kept staring into nothingness, her mouth forming into a bitter smile. "Do I look okay to you?"

"No. You don't. S-sorry," Flame said, feeling the need to add that last part even knowing that her bitterness wasn't directed at him.

Alice shot him a glance and shook her head, as if in disbelief at his stubbornness, then glazed her eyes over again. "It's all so … ironic. I've spent most of my life wandering from one sorry excuse of a job to another, always on the brink of going hungry. Everywhere I went, the Army was always the one job open to me. All I had to do was enlist. But I never did. Want to know why?"

At that she lowered her head, at that her eyes seemed to gleam. "I'm scared of fighting. I don't care if you think I'm a coward. The thought of fighting this war scares me. It scares me, Flame. Ferals are one thing—they're dumb, predictable. But the Scum?" her voice wavered closer to fear. "You … you saw for yourself what they're capable of. What fighting a war really looks like."

Then, Alice's face softened; her gaze turned to somewhere far away again. "Years of running away … it was all for nothing. They'll just make me serve. Give my life for the same Empire that banished me just for being born."

Flame didn't speak immediately; instead, he let his vision take in the view of the dozens of faceless soldiers and nurses streaming past them, the sky above tainted by patches of rainclouds.

"I'm scared too," he admitted, a paw of his slipping onto her back. "Of fighting, I mean. If one of you … If I die without finding out who I am…"

Turning her head to him, Alice showed him a small, tired smile. "We'll be there for you. We'll find a way."

The tiniest of smiles settled on Flame's face. At least he wouldn't be in this alone. At least when the time to heed the call of battle came, they'd do it together.

...Oh, right. They were going to be deployed together on the battlefield. In danger. All three of them. Flame felt his mood immediately come crashing down again.

Gaius, who until now had been staring dazed at his wounds, made a low grunting sound. "Just so long as we don't meet up with your old buddy back there."

Flame blinked for a moment, then his frown deepened. "Oh, right. That…"

For the first time since their admittance to hospital, Gaius chuckled weakly. "Yeah, that. Kind of hard to forget when your teammate's the Scum's ex-leader or something," he then dropped his gaze to his feet. "Figured I'd be more worried right now."

No sooner than those words were uttered did anger enter his bloodstream; he was not one of the Scum. As the seconds passed, however, the glare Flame directed at his former leader became weaker and weaker; no, he couldn't blame the Grovyle for saying that, no matter how much he loathed the thought. After what they'd seen, it wasn't that far-fetched of a conclusion to reach.

Flame turned to face Gaius fully, unable to hide a small sneer. "If you still think I used to be one of them, why didn't you tell Sycorax?"

Gaius raised both his shoulders in a shrug. "Don't know. Guess it felt like the right thing to do."

The answer caught him by surprise. So much that he forgot about his anger for a few heartbeats. Perhaps some part of him was expecting Gaius to concoct some selfish reasoning. What gave him even more of a pause was the fact that that wording sounded strangely similar to something he himself had said while they were both recovering.

Inevitably, though, as silence settled between them and they continued to await an officer that may well never arrive, Flame's thoughts couldn't help but settle on his encounter with the Dusknoir all those days ago. Being part of the Imperial Army only compounded his problem; say he were sent to recapture the ruins of Portus, alongside Alice and Gaius and a thousand more soldiers; say in the midst of fierce fighting, street to ruined street, he encountered the same Dusknoir, and it touched him gently on the shoulder before his comrades in arms. A cold shiver ran down his spine. Only now did he realise just how thin of a line he was currently treading. If something like that happened, and Alice and Gaius were deemed too close to a traitorous Scum like him…

He couldn't put them in that sort of danger. Not when he'd become aware of the gravity of his past connections, not after seeing with his own eyes what sort of fate was reserved for Scum sympathisers or members. He would have to consider getting away from them. The mere thought tore at his heartstrings, but deep inside he knew it was the best option for everyone.

The difficult part was broadcasting the idea to his teammates.

Flame turned to gaze at both of them. They were both looking around, trailing each passing pokémon with their eyes, turning rigid whenever someone walked particularly. How could he abandon them in their moment of need? Swallowing his feelings, he glued together an argument in his head and hoped for the best.

"Hey, guys, listen…" Flame said, shifting uncomfortably. "I've been thinking about what happened back there, and maybe it'd be best if we … part ways. Pretend we've never known each other. I don't want to risk your safety because of who I was."

"What?" Alice said plainly and blinked, turning towards him. "Sorry, where did that come from?"

Flame released a heavy sigh. Why did she have to make things so difficult for him? "L-look, I … I'm not sure if I used to be one of them or not. Okay? My head's too much of a mess to think. But that's not what matters here. Right now, I'm putting you in danger just by being next to you, and…" He had to stop to swallow a sudden knot that had formed in his throat. "… and I can't let that happen. I can't risk this news getting out."

Alice stared dumbly at him with a look that bordered on anger. "Now you're just spewing nonsense. How exactly would they find out? I don't plan on selling anyone out, and neither does Gaius. You can trust us."

Flame ran a paw along his forehead, closing his eyes shut. "Alice, you know what will happen if they find out. They'll go after you two. We'll have to come into contact with the Scum sooner or later, and the risk of—"

"Flame, look at me."

The firmness in her voice spurred him to comply, and so he stared directly into her deep, blue eyes, ever so bloodshot from the anxiousness that gripped them all.

"Do I look like someone who high-tails it at the first sign of trouble?" Alice asked as she stared back with an intensity that took him aback. "You, me, and Gaius are the only ones who know. Nobody else needs to find out—and if they do, we'll find a way to make things right. Please. You worry too much."

Flame stared dumbly at his lap, feeling at a complete loss for words. "I thought you said you were a coward."

"Not when it comes to friends," she raised her neck from the grass, her voice clear and determined. "You deserve better than to end up alone for something that's outside of your control. Besides, we're still a team. We don't leave teammates behind."

Flame did not know what to say. He was fairly sure he had never seen her eyes so determined, her voice so full of conviction, weaved with traces of worry. An odd warmth rushed to his cheeks and chest the more she argued to make him stay.

Sensing that she'd succeeded in overcoming his momentary self-doubt, Alice showed him a candid smile, and the two of them held each other's gazes for a few heartbeats before she continued on, in a soft, quiet voice.

"It doesn't matter if Team Phalanx isn't in the records anymore," she said, looking between him and Gaius. "I say we stick together, no matter what the future holds for us. Arceus knows we're going to need it. It's the only way we'll make it through this damned war. Gaius?"

Gaius made another small shrug, but Flame could have sworn he saw the ghost of a smile creep upon his face. "Sure. Didn't want to die alone anyway."

Alice's smile grew even wider at that, and she turned to him. "Did you hear that, Flame? It's official now. You're staying with us, no matter what your stupid sense of guilt says."

"… Okay," Flame shook his head as he finally resigned to his fate, a minuscule, exasperated smile lodged on his face. Did she really want him to stay that much? He hadn't exactly given her many reasons to care—until a week and a half ago, he couldn't even breathe fire on will. Sure, he'd gotten slightly less incompetent and awkward with time, but still…

Saving someone's life raises their opinion of you. How surprising, Flame thought with a wry quirk of his lips, hugging his knees.

Beyond what had happened back during that expedition, there also was something else, he thought. A subtle bond that tied them together—the kind of bond felt by pokémon who bled, fought, and went hungry together, those who relied on one another to make it to the next day.

His gaze wandered to Alice and Gaius for some time. In a way, Team Phalanx was still here—the three of them sitting beside each other, sticking together through everything life threw at them. Flame felt no small measure of strength flow through him at the knowledge. Perhaps they would even join his escape plan. Had Alice not confessed to his same fear? Gaius he couldn't be sure about, but the Grovyle was in no psychological condition to talk. He would have to wait for his opinion. Regardless of that, even if they did share his same fear, did that necessarily they would accept? Desertion was no small thing, he reminded himself, and the consequences of that risked forcing them to live the rest of their days as fugitives.

But if it was the only alternative to dying on the battlefield, then maybe…

I'll have to tell them soon, Flame thought, wringing his claws together. I just need more time to think this plan through.

"No way!"

Flame's head shot up when he realised this voice belonged to none of his teammates. His eyes immediately flew to a Gabite standing in front of the three of them—one that, on second thought, looked and sounded quite familiar.

Oh, for Arceus' sake

"There's no way it's you guys!" Virgo said with a growing, open-mouthed smirk.

Flame had barely enough time to stand up before he was crushed in a bear hug, the legionary slapping his back hard enough to make him wince.

"Oh," Flame said flatly, unsure how to react. "Hey, uh… Virgo."

"Ha-ha! I knew you three were tougher than you looked," Virgo said, finally releasing him. "Yvaine thought you guys were dead like all the other civvies. But a bunch of Scum ain't enough to take you guys down, eh?"

"So…" Alice said, her facing baring unease. "That means we're in the same cohort?"

"Yeah. Isn't that awesome?" Virgo replied with his customary grin. "You're lucky, you know—at least you know me and Yvaine right off the bat. Saves you the awkwardness of being around total strangers."

Team Phalanx shared uncertain looks for a few moments.

This was not how Flame was expecting the day to develop. The Gabite's argument rang true, in a way, yet the idea of being around them constantly didn't sit well with him.

"Come on, now," Virgo waved his claw over. "The Captain's waiting for you. He'll introduce you to the squad and give you something to do."

After a reluctant pause, the three of them began following the legionary as he led them further into the camp, through orderly patrols and messengers running about with haste. Almost no civilians were to be seen, with the exception of nurses and a small outcrop of squalid tents built for denizens displaced by the earthquake. Further ahead, Flame could see that the dirt pathway they were following led them past a vast stockpile of grain, berries, salt, seeds, orbs, and other pieces of equipment he couldn't identify overflowing from their open crates, plus dozens of other crates stacked on top of one another whose contents couldn't be seen. A fence surrounded the patch of land and a legionary stood guard in front of its only entrance. Likely to prevent looting, he supposed.

The whole city's still recovering from the earthquake, Flame mused, his thoughts turning sour. Food stores must be running low if they have to guard them like that. What will all the civilians eat in the meantime? Where will they stay?

Part of him hoped that their first orders as legionaries would be to assist in the reconstruction efforts: clearing debris, hauling building material and the likes. The other part of him, however, wasn't quite so optimistic.

"Just a word of warning," Virgo said, turning his head back. "Most of us in the Army don't take too kindly to civvies. But don't worry, we'll put in a good word for you."

Oh, goody, Flame rolled his eyes. Perhaps having him and Yvaine in their cohort really would be a blessing, despite how obnoxious and creepy they were, respectively.

"Since we're new, will we have to … I don't know, do training?" Flame asked, his gaze wandering about the structures and legionaries they passed by.

Virgo made a small shrug as he kept looking forward. "Normally, you would, but I'm pretty sure they're gonna make an exception for you—coming from Civil Protection and all."

A sickly feeling began creeping up in the back of Flame's throat as he walked. There went his strategy of buying time to escape. It was now entirely plausible they would start sending them off to fight a few days from now. Sneaking a look over at Alice, he saw in her eyes the same fear. Gaius looked broody, but then again, there was hardly a moment where he wasn't.

"Aw, what's with those faces?" Virgo quirked an eyebrow as he looked behind him. "Trust me, Army life's not that bad. Most of the time, we're busy patrolling the countryside or being shuffled around on garrison duty. Kind of boring, but you'll get used to it. Oh—and none of that 'walk into a mystery dungeon' bullshit they give you in Civil Protection. Ugh. Keeps your sanity in check."

"Good. Never want to see one again," said Gaius grumbled quietly, as if to himself.

A long, ordinate file of soldiers passed by them. Flame found himself drawn to how synchronised and disciplined their step was. The life that Virgo was describing didn't sound as bad as he had made it out to be—patrols meant encountering Scum, sure, but this wasn't the same thing as fighting on the front lines. Still, there was hardly any certainty things would stay that way. Not after what happened in Portus.

"It ain't perfect, but at least they keep us fed," Virgo said as the group entered a patch of drowned sunlight. "That's more than I can say about the rest of the city."

Flame took a long, lingering look towards the horizon, where a few smokestacks still rose from the wounded city below.

"All those refugees," Alice said, following his gaze. "They escaped their villages only to find this. So many of them must be going hungry right now."

Flame kept his gaze low as he thought of how to answer. "Let's hope they'll let us do something about it. Heck, if that's all they make us do for now, maybe I'll like this job. Anything that isn't … you know."

Alice gave him a small, somber nod. "I know."

They passed a large, concrete building and began heading towards a large congregation of tents, the same kind he and his team used to live in, all arranged in a near-perfect grid pattern.

Virgo stopped momentarily, looking back at them. "C'mon, we're almost there. Keep quiet. Form behind me, single file. Make sure you look … I don't know, soldierly. Got it, Flamey? Awesome."

Flamey? Flame creased his brow as they resumed walking.

The group navigated past a long row of tents, past gruff-looking soldiers sneaking looks at Gaius's hand, before Virgo stopped right in front of one of the larger tents in their vicinity, cupping his claws behind his back and stepping closer to the entrance.

"Permission to enter, sir," Virgo said with an uncharacteristic lack of excitement.

"Granted," said a grating voice from within.

The Gabite parted the tent flap and Team Phalanx followed inside one by one. As soon as he entered, Flame found his attention captured by the large, almost towering Scizor sitting behind a roughly cut wooden desk on the far side of the tent. The Captain regarded them with an indifferent glare, then returned to the papers strewn haphazardly across his desk.

The wide-eyed look Virgo gave them told him to wait.

Flame took a few seconds to look around. The tent wasn't quite as tall as it was wide, and seeing how the Scizor towered over them all even while sitting, he doubted it could even fit the thing's full height. Aside from the desk, and a few levigated logs that served as seats, the only other thing worthy of note was a bed on the complete opposite side of the tent—an actual, framed bed, complete with a pillow.

One day, Flame thought in a somewhat solemn mood. I'll get to sleep with an actual pillow.

A distant, static voice streamed from what Flame identified as a communications badge sitting atop the Captain's desk, but the Scizor seemed uninterested as he sifted through more papers and attempted to organise them into neat piles, a task easier said than done.

With a grunt that sounded more like two gears screeching against one another, the Scizor raised his gaze and propped a pincer against his head.

"What is it, sergeant?"

Virgo showed the Captain a crisp salute and stood straighter than Flame had ever seen him.

"Sir, I've brought you those new recruits. Straight out of the hospital."

Upon hearing those words, the Scizor's eyes gleamed with interest. He immediately rose from his seat and bounded over to them, the horns atop his metallic head brushing lightly against the tent's ceiling. The Captain looked down on each of them, as if appraising them with a mere look. Flame forced himself to stand so unnaturally straight that his back started to hurt; the act of breathing itself threatened to make him quiver.

"These are the recruits who Sycorax recommended personally?" the Captain said, blinking rapidly. "Dragonair are powerful weapons, but I fail to see what's so special with the other two. One of them's an amputee, even."

For a moment Gaius' face contorted into expression of pure hatred, and Flame's heart skipped a beat at the thought that he might say something out of line.

"You know what? It doesn't matter," the Scizor returned to his desk, and sat down. "Right now, Grovyle, you and your team are the least of my problems. If Sycorax took a liking to you three, then good for him. It's none of my business. All I need to know is that you swear loyalty to the Emperor and that you are ready to fight against any who threaten His dominions."

The implications of that statement were left unsaid: even at the cost of your lives.

"Ave Imperator," said Gaius, muttering the words.

Flame tilted his head slightly at the strange-sounding words, but interpreted it as an oath of sorts that he needed to say. This was it; he couldn't pull back now. For that, waiting would be the only option.

"Ave Imperator," repeated Flame.

For a few heartbeats, Alice said nothing; her eyes were glazed over, directed at the ground, as if seeing some far-away image.

"… Ave Imperator," she said, traces of defeat leaking through her deadpan voice.

The sudden drop in emotion in her voice made Flame's head turn towards her. The slip in her posture lasted but a few seconds, yet even when she straightened her back and steeled her face, he could still sense a vague sadness in her eyes.

There was hardly time for him to approach her, however, for the Captain acknowledged their words with a nod and went back to reorganising papers on his desk.

"Good. Just because the general told me to keep you three safe doesn't mean you get special privileges. Don't cause any problems."

Virgo, unmoving from his rigid pose, motioned another salute. "Orders, sir?"

The Captain did not raise his eyes from the desk as he spoke. "There is equipment that needs to be moved by the entrance. The rest of the cohort is already on there. Go."

Without further words exchanged, the group left the Captain's tent, and just then Flame was met with the feeling that his life had taken a turn from which he could no longer deviate.


Oily shadows had settled onto the main street of Aesernia by the time the procession of soldiers and equipment marched within sight of the city walls, the first stars twinkling to life as the sun gradually dissipated into the horizon.

Colossal machines of wood and metal—catapults, ballistae—sang a constant, unharmonious creaking as the wheeled carts they were loaded on bounced along the pothole-ridden road. They were being tugged forth by equally massive pokémon who barely seemed to be breaking a sweat.

For his part, Flame was barely sure of how he was still standing. His feet, back, and just about everything else ached after carrying the heavy backpack on his shoulders for what felt like the entire length of Aesernia. He could not tell how many hours had flowed by.

If I find out this thing is loaded with logs, I'm going to burn them…

The temptation to slow down was too great to resist, until he felt another backpacker run into him from behind him, followed by a sling of curses concerning family members he wasn't exactly sure of having.

Very briefly his balance wavered, and he thought he would fall on his side and be crushed by the Aggron dragging one of the catapults near the centre of the column. He had to remember the formation, he thought as he resumed marching: one central column dealing with the heavy equipment, flanked by two columns of backpackers like him. When they'd started, he saw about two dozen artillery pieces, and at least double the amount of bags of whatever it was he was carrying.

Just a little more. The gates are right there. Just a couple more minutes… he gritted his teeth and took a breath after shaky breath.

The city walls were even more massive than he remembered them to be; they appeared to grow more gigantic the closer he approached to them, although the tall houses rising just a few metres from its length were now a heap of rubble.

As the walls grew to cover his vision, and the first catapults began pouring out of the open gates, he inferred that his legs had caught fire. Five more steps, and he could barely feel the rest of his body be inundated by the numbing heat.

Relief came in the form of the column of backpackers ahead of him abandoning their loads in a pile at the base of the wall. He gathered whatever scraps of energy left and jogged the last few dozen metres out of formation, almost collapsing to the ground as he let the heavy backpack slide off his shoulders. In that moment, a massive weight was lifted off his spirit and he just wanted to lie down someplace cool.

Flame trod through the grass to a spot not too far away from the gates, rested his back against the wall, and slid down until he was in a sitting position.

I … am going to die… he panted with his mouth wide open, all threats of burning the backpack beaten out of him.

As he ran a claw along his face to wipe away some of the sweat, the question of his teammates' current whereabouts surfaced to mind. He knew Gaius was carrying a backpack somewhere along the formation, but the last he'd seen of Alice was just before the column started moving. He couldn't imagine her body shape being adept at carrying sacks; perhaps they were saddling her with some other tasks? Was she still in Camp Tempest?

If so, Flame thought, they would see each other later that night, for he had no intention of moving from that spot.

While he waited for his frenzied heart to settle down, he turned his head towards the former column now scattered near the gates, curious to see if he could identify either of his teammates amongst them. The dying sun was now a tiny sliver above the horizon, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to see. He also noticed other legionaries sitting nearby, but none whose face he recognised.

The fatigue flowing through his veins almost made him miss the Gabite waving at him from within the crowd. Flame had already let out a sigh by the time it approached him, flanked by a familiar Umbreon whose yellow rings were beginning to glow in the shrinking sunlight.

Oh, Mew almighty…

"Hey, Flamey! Don't tell me you're exhausted on your first day?"

"Shut up," Flame muttered under his breath, resting his head against the cold wall.

"I bet they never made you civvies do this, eh?" Virgo cackled to himself. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Maybe you'll start putting some muscle over those bones. Can't have all the girls to myself, after all."

Flame couldn't help but openly roll his eyes, and he was glad to see Yvaine make a similar expression of skepticism.

Her expression lightened into a civil smile as she regarded him. "Hello, Flame. It is good to see you. I was under the impression you and your team had perished in the ambush near Portus, but clearly I was underestimating your abilities."

"I … wouldn't frame it that way," said Flame, growing uncomfortable at the mention of the subject. "You make it sound easy. There was a lot of luck involved. We … we almost didn't make it out."

Yvaine made a small nod. "I see. Even so, few would be capable of living through an attack like that. While the memories may bring you pain, I would personally view the situation with pride, rather than with regret. It is only thanks to your combined efforts that you escaped with more mental wounds than physical."

"She's right, you know," said Virgo, sitting down beside him. "Besides, those sons of Lopunnies are livin' on borrowed time. It won't be long before Sycorax sends us up there for some payback, that I can tell you."

Why would I want to do that? I barely know anything about this Empire I'm in; I have no motivation to risk my life for it. I have no reason to hate these Scum, either. Heck, I probably used to be with them—who says they aren't the victims in this stupid war?

For obvious reasons, however, he would never let those thoughts leak from his mind. Never mind the fact that it felt weird to excuse the same group who just under a week before had nearly killed him and his teammates.

"Honestly, I'd rather not see another one of them again for a long time," said Flame.

"Ha! I almost wish I did," Virgo snorted. "A dozen times I must have petitioned the Captain to put us in a more active combat role—but nooooo, he always insists we're more 'strategically valuable' doing garrison duty rather than taking the fight to the enemy." he made a small shrug. "Hell, maybe that's true, but I'd rather be doing something that's not sitting on my ass all day while more of our cities are captured."

Flame began staring before he could contain himself. "You want to go to the front lines?"

The weirded out looks that both Virgo and Yvaine gave him made him conscious of how suspicious and insensitive the question sounded. Wringing his claws together, he quickly scrambled for words that would distance him from the possible image of a Scum sympathiser, not to mention a coward.

"D-don't get me wrong—the Scum are murderers, and evil, and, and rapists, but facing them on the battlefield is …" he trailed off briefly, grasping at words. "I realise it's necessary, but I simply can't imagine anyone being eager to go."

For a few heartbeats, both the legionaries remained silent, visibly pensive, only heightening Flame's worry that they might suspect him of traitorous thoughts.

Surprisingly, it was Yvaine who spoke up. "Have you ever seen Edessa, Flame?"

Flame responded with a shake of his head.

"I thought so," Yvaine responded in her quiet, flat tone, betraying little emotion. "No one has, ever since the Scum took control of it fifteen years ago. Not even me. I was too little at the time to remember. I only know of the stories my family told me: the Imperial Library, once one of the largest in the Empire; the Towers of Moltres, made of luminescent metals which provided lighting even at night; they told me of the rich cotton fields and the workshops made of sandstone. For all we know, everything I just listed might have been destroyed years ago," she paused, her head arching downwards but her eyes remaining steadfast. "Me and my family escaped unharmed, but many others didn't. Long ago, I swore I'd fight until I could see Edessa with my own eyes, until I could go back to living there with my family. That is what drives me forward," she turned to regard him directly. "What is it that drives you forward, Flame?"

It was a fair question: what was it exactly that drove him to persevere in spite of all the hunger and death he'd endured during his brief existence? He supposed it was finding out about his past identity, filling the unnatural, horrible emptiness in his head wherever he turned. Other than that, he couldn't really come up with anything else. He had no ties to a specific town, or a specific nation, or any specific pokémon outside of Alice and Gaius. Perhaps a greater goal would present itself once he'd gotten his memories back.

As of right now, however, Flame hesitated before giving an answer. He could have lied and claimed he was fighting for some imaginary family as well, but they would likely see right through it. If he claimed to fight for the safety of his country, he wouldn't even be able to tell them the Emperor's name. The only realistic option left was telling them the truth, yet the prospect of doing so unsettled him deeply. Only Gaius and Alice were aware of his current predicament—and while these two seemed nice enough, they had done little to gain his trust. Then again, by that standard, neither had Gaius.

With a deep breath, he made his choice.

"Honestly, I don't know," Flame said. "The thing is … I'm not really a normal pokémon, in a sense. Something must have happened to me in the past, because the earliest memory I have is waking up in some cave way north of this city some … three weeks ago, I think. Alice and Gaius found me there, and that's when I joined Civil Protection. Not because of a specific reason. I have nowhere to go and no family to turn to, at least that I can remember. And it's the same deal now."

As silence stretched between them, Flame let out a small heave of relief. There; his secret was out. Whether the two of them would now start to harbour suspicions or that was just his paranoia creeping into his thought process, he would soon know. He figured it was worth the risk, in the small chance they had any valuable insight into situations like his.

"Amnesia," Yvaine muttered, as if mesmerised by the word. "That would explain some of your behaviour, at least in part. What you are telling me … it's fascinating."

Flame blinked himself out of his stupor. "Huh?"

"You are not the first to claim to be suffering from amnesia," Yvaine said. "I have seen similar reports in recent years: soldiers who went missing in action, only to return without any bearing of who they were or what happened to them. Their minds always present signs of external probing, likely by Scum psychics searching for military intelligence. Oftentimes, their unrestrained methods lead to a complete loss of memories at best, and cerebral damage at worst."

Flame listened intently to her recounting, running the resulting scenarios in his head. "So, you think I could be…"

"Perhaps," she said, staring him directly in the eye. "I would need to peer into your mind to say with any degree of certainty. Until then, I may only speculate."

Or, you're saying that I have brain damage, Flame held back a sneer. Looking into my mind, though could she really do that? She wasn't joking, was she?

By the Umbreon's side, Virgo hummed in thought. "One thing's for sure, Flamey. You're one hell of an interesting fella, you know that?"

"Thanks. I think," mumbled Flame, his mind wholly focused on other matters.

The concept of entering one's mind was … unsettling, to say the least. It was certainly possible, according to her story, that his memories had been erased by an overzealous Scum psychic; but her anecdote was referring to Imperial soldiers on the field, something he probably was not, judging by his current abilities. Plus, every time he recalled the Dusknoir touching his shoulder tenderly, he couldn't help but feel a cold shiver run through him…

A feeling that he'd seen that eye before, somewhere in his past life. A feeling of familiarity.

Maybe I betrayed them and they sent me into exile. In that case, he could have been trying to forgive me. But … the question still stands, why do I understand the Empire's language, but not theirs?

With a breathy, self-contained growl, he dismissed the cyclone running through his head. It was pointless to hypothesise; there just wasn't enough evidence. What Yvaine was suggesting, however, was the first true glimpse into his past that offered no room for uncertainty. If she could somehow look into his mind and find any shred of information locked away somewhere, even the most inconsequential, it would already fill the empty pit of knowledge that ate away at his peace of mind, day by day. Knowing nothing was unbearable. He couldn't go on like this—this could be his only opportunity to figure out who he was.

"Is that something you could do?" Flame breathed quickly before he let his thoughts wander any further. "Enter my mind? Recover anything left in there?"

Yvaine remained quiet for a couple of moments. Her eyes peaked with interest. "My psychic abilities are trained enough to where I could try, yes. It is an … unusual request, though. Do you know what it entails?"

"Uh…" Flame rubbed his neck unconsciously. "Not really. I was hoping you'd explain me."

"Our minds would become connected via a psychic link. Technically speaking, we would both have equal access to each other's minds—among those of us with psionic powers, it is usually considered a gesture of trust, and … well, matehood," the Umbreon averted her gaze briefly, only for her steel mask of indifference to return moments later. "Yet, since you do not possess such powers, it is not a problem. Only I will have to access your memory stream."

"Wait, hold on, hold on," Flame held up a paw. "Is it just my memory stream? You wouldn't be able to … I don't know, access something else? Do something to my brain?"

"I could read your current emotional state, of course. I could also use mindspeak to communicate with you. That's about it. As far as changing your brain goes? That would require immense concentrations of psy waves, far outside the biological limit of any pokémon, and even then it would probably overload your nervous system as a result."

Flame blinked, and let his mouth hang open. "… Okay. I, um … didn't need to know that part."

"I apologise. Back on topic: due to the way the mind functions, your memories will play in chronological order, starting with the most recent and working backwards. Whenever I access a memory, it is triggered in your head as well: you will see exactly what I see. There is a distinct possibility that I will stumble upon an intimate moment in your past, or something you consider private. I hope what I just said will ease your mind about any breaches of privacy."

The question of whether there were any moments too intimate for her to find out sprang to mind. It was certainly an interesting one, There were many moments, such as his attempted fling with that cute female Charmeleon, or that one time he was in the library, and Alice wasn't looking, and the encyclopaedia featured a reproduction section for his own species…

Oh, Arceus, she'll see everything I watched

Apart from that, he wasn't even sure if evoking a memory meant she could also access his thoughts and feelings tied to that memory. For instance, if a memory of him glaring at Virgo and herself surfaced, would she be able to read, or somehow sense his thoughts? In that case, she would find out his exact thoughts about them, which would make the situation needlessly awkward for him.

That example in and of itself didn't bother him too much, as it was fairly innocuous. It was the precedent it would set that did so.

If that were true, his thoughts went, she might have been able to learn about his true feelings on the war, or even worse, his earlier internal monologue concerning the Emperor, both thoughts that qualified as less than soldierly—if not outright treasonous. While the possibility of that caught in his throat, he found that it did little to dissuade him from going ahead with the procedure. In the end, while he would have much rather kept those thoughts and memories to himself, they were something he was ultimately willing to risk, especially if it meant finding out about his past identity. The opportunity was simply too unique to pass up, and the only possible revelations that came to mind were those whose consequences he could conceptually deal with.

"I see," Flame said simply, collecting his breath.

"Do keep in mind that I have never attempted reading another pokémon's mind before," Yvaine said, taking a step towards him. "I will exercise as much caution as possible, but it will not be a painless procedure for you. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

Flame grimaced slightly. He had imagined it wouldn't just result in a mild headache, but swept up as he was in the tide of excitement, he knew that figuring out who he was would ultimately be worth any physical pain.

"It doesn't matter," he said without skipping a heartbeat. "I need to do it. You have no idea how important this is to me. It's … it's not knowing who I am. Why I'm here."

Yvaine dug quietly behind his eyes, giving a single, tacit nod. "Very well. I will help you. I apologise in advance if I happen to stumble upon intimate moments, or if inflict pain upon you. I trust you will forgive me. Now, I ask that you breathe deeply, and close your eyes."

"Oooh, this ought to be interesting," Virgo sat with his legs crossed, grinning with an even goofier smile. "Mind if I watch?"

"Uh … sure. I guess," Flame slurred with a raised eyebrow.

With no small amount of apprehension, Flame shut his eyelids and tried to slow his breathing to manageable levels. Just as he tried to think of the possibilities locked away inside his head, his eyes flew open in the same moment that Yvaine rested her forehead against his, her own eyes resting shut.

I forgot the Dusknoir. She'll see everything. This was a terrible idea. This was—

"No, wait!" he shouted, wrapping his claws around her front legs before his whole body seemed to lock into sudden paralysis. His breaths became laborious and erratic, and there was a strange heat beginning to pulse within his head.

He was seeing the Umbreon's face pressed against his, yet at the same time, with another pair of eyes, he saw images flash by him in a quick succession: they were inconceivable at first, but after a few seconds, the broken stream stabilised and he was able to recognise the field hospital, the sleeping mat, his eyes staring into Alice and Alice's eyes staring into his. For a fleeting moment, he was able to concentrate on her drained, yet undeniably graceful features, all the while continuing to see a black, furry face pressed against his real, physical one.

"Do not worry," Yvaine's flat voice reverberated throughout his mind, though she was sporting a tiny, amused smile. "I will be discreet."

His breathing pace only increased as the scene lost form and another took its place: again he was enclosed in the oppressive ice prison of the Boreal Chasm, alone in the feeble light of his tail. Blood completely smeared his scales, and the cold burned into his muscles, into his bones, into his very being. He cried out for help, but there was no one to save him. Only darkness. Only the freezing corpses of his friends.

Yet still, with his real eyes, he continued to see Yvaine's face touching his.

The pain—it felt too real, too cold, too … it was too much. Seeing those images again, reliving the same hopelessness, but, also, knowing what was coming, sent Flame into hyperventilation.

No, no, no, no! Flame thought, hoping she would somehow hear his message. Stop! Please!

"Please, Flame, breathe,"
came Yvaine's reply. "This will be over quickly."

Before he could protest further, the icy walls of the mystery dungeon faded away, and in its place, a flurry of images assaulted his mind: the Dusknoir's single, smiling red eye looking down at him, the chaotic sky above Portus, Alice smiling at him—a simple, candid smile—, then again the Dusknoir laying a hand on his shoulder. Flame could mentally feel Yvaine linger at that memory.

He wanted to scream at himself and at her for letting his secret out, yet she continued without so much as a word, a pulse of heat cutting through his head.

With his second pair of eyes, he saw Gaius' form take shape: a barely concealed sneer was etched onto his face, and his arms were crossed. Suddenly a joint sensation of shame and resentment washed over him. Trees rose hundreds of metres above them, their thick branches interlocking into a cage pattern. He remembered this place; this was the first dungeon he'd ever entered. Meeting Gaius' hateful glare was as hurtful now as it was then, except that now it also made him realise how stupid he had been for thinking any sort of friendship existed between them.

The scene faded into obscurity, and another quick succession of memories entered his mind: the stench of his prison cell, the high walls of Aesernia, Alice and Gaius staring him down in a cave—that very cave he'd awakened from—and then there was darkness, not as dark as the fur brushing his real nose but more so, a darkness that enveloped his being and made the cold even more—

Flame could not cry out, but his throat certainly tried to as pain pulsed through his head in distinct waves. Unable to move, unable to even clutch his skull, he felt his body quivering uncontrollably. His eyes, his real eyes, were beginning to blur in and out of focus in time with each new wave of heat.

"Huh? I … what is this?" Yvaine's voice boomed, sounding as bemused as her current face. "Uh, never mind. Fear not, Flame. We're almost through this."

Then, all at once, a weight hit Flame right in the stomach. With a choked gasp, his breath died out, and he watched what felt like a pile of rocks crumble onto his soul.

Incoherent sounds, smells, emotions, and images shot through, one after the other, sometimes overlapping, few lingering enough for him to indulge. He saw a display of blinking lights. Fire. Calm whispering; a red eye. Safety. Followed by explosions and metal tinkering on the floor. He wanted nothing more than to scream.

Just as the jumbled maelstrom was beginning to die down, a new memory punched his senses into submission. A face—no, faces, were looking at him. Surrounding him. He saw glass. More blinking lights. A pressure was beginning to build in his head.

"We are one and the same thing. The same…"

Out of nowhere, the words appeared in his mind, spoken by no voice in particular. The red eye was once again in front of him.

"Yvaine!" Virgo's voice leaked from the ringing in his ears. "C'mon—he ain't looking so hot!"

He could barely distinguish one sound from the other at this point. Just as he was sure the pressure in his skull would explode, Yvaine's forehead suddenly detached from his, and the paralysis locking his muscles into place lifted, causing him to collapse into a heap, the grass prickly against his cheek. His paws shot to cradle his pulsing headache, and a much needed groan exited his throat. When he opened his eyes, he could barely make out an Umbreon laying nearby, her paws over her head. His ears wouldn't stop ringing.

He crawled himself into a sitting position, groaning quietly when he squinted enough for the figures of Yvaine and Virgo to not sway to and fro.

"Gods… That felt terrible," Flame clutched his stomach with both hands. "I thought I told you to wait!"

Yvaine raised herself on four paws with a sharp breath, making no attempt to mask her discomfort. "And you made it clear how important this was! Had you not done that, I would have stopped the moment you started to experience pain."

"Arceus… let's just hope you at least found something," Flame muttered lowly, rubbing his head in circles.

While he was somewhat mad at her for forcing herself, in truth, his mind was racing for an entirely different reason. She had to have found out his secret by now. Oh, what a stupid, idiot he was—so caught up in the rush of curiosity that he chose to bare his very soul to an Imperial soldier right after finding out he might have been related to the Scum. Stupid, stupid.

Yvaine panted with her head hung low, as if about to vomit. "Everything … beyond a certain point in your life was fuzzy, chaotic. Every thought, every memory. Whatever happened to you, someone clearly did a number on your mind."

Something caught in Flame's throat as he processed her words. "So … you're saying all w-we just did was pointless?" He swallowed before continuing. "That I'm a lost cause?"

Yvaine stopped shaking to look up at him with no small amount of annoyance. "As I already said, I have no previous experience probing minds. It is possible there are methods I am unaware of to bypass psychic damage, and possibly to recover intact memories. You will have to search elsewhere."

The two of them let a few heartbeats pass as they regained their breaths, yet Flame could feel a certain tension in the air, as if both were waiting for the other to comment on something they both knew. He had a good idea as to what it might have been.

Not knowing how to encroach the subject, Flame started with a genuine question. "I saw something after you crossed into my past. Memories, but as you said—chaotic, fuzzy. I barely even remember what they were about. Did you…?"

"I did," Yvaine said. "They were chaotic—but … I saw a Dusknoir. I seem to remember one also being present in your most recent memories."

Though he'd been bracing for the inevitable, the words still made his heart skip a beat. He knew that for a second, he'd let his uneasiness leak through the plaster mask on his face. She had to have noticed that—in fact, her eyes seemed to have grown ever so minutely wider.

"I apologise," Yvaine signalled a nod, sounding strangely sincere in spite of her previous anger. "I tried my best to breeze through your most recent memories as a show of respect for your privacy. As I already stated, every time I analysed a memory, your mind played it for you as well. You saw everything my own eyes saw."

Despite the palpable sincerity dripping from her tone, Flame regarded her with a thinly veiled glare. What did he know of mind reading? For all he knew, she could have very well swept through his two weeks of life in a breeze, and only chosen to leak a few highlights with the excuse already crafted in her head.

Then again, he mused, if her words were indeed true, that made his situation significantly more manageable. She might not have seen the full context, and even then, she might understand his situation and not turn him in at once.

Maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. She's just a common soldier—I doubt she even cares as much as I think she does.

Wandering in thought, Flame brought his head to look at the surrounding area. The sun had just dipped below the horizon; only a desperate trickle of light hit Aesernia's main street. The mob of soldiers blocking the gates had all but dissipated, and only a small unit stood guard by the stockpiled equipment, lighting torches and sharing laughs.

For the thousandth time, he wondered how much this stupid, stupid mistake was going to cost him. Maybe it didn't matter; he was planning to desert soon enough anyway.

"Are you okay, Flamey?" asked Virgo, who until then had simply sat there, whirling his head between the two of them.

Flame pondered the question briefly, interrupted only by the pulsing of his headache and the desire to be next to familiar faces.

"You know what? I'm going back. I, I need to rest," he said, hissing lightly as the strain of carrying a backpack half as heavy as himself caught up with his back.

"Awww, come on, don't be like that," Virgo made an exaggerated pout, just as Flame turned away from the two of them.

"Why don't you try having your head ripped open?" he snapped, stepping away from the duo. "Argh, sorry. I'll—I'll talk to you later. Head hurts."

"Fiiiiiine, we'll meet at the mess hall then. Got it?"

This time, Flame did not answer, but trudged onward to the main street, eyeing the faint light of Camp Tempest rising against the stormy horizon.


Camp Tempest

It took nearly twenty minutes of aimless wandering before Flame spotted the table where Alice and Gaius were sitting. The building felt much larger than it probably was. A tired smile settled on his face, and he took great care as he swerved around the mass of overcrowded tables and benches, clutching the bowl of stew in his paws tightly.

An insult nearly shot from his throat when a particularly bulky Wartortle half-shoved him aside and made a small wave of stew crash out onto the grass, but he was far too tired to commit. He managed to close the remaining distance and round the table without further incident.

He set his bowl down, and, ignoring the strange looks coming from the five or so other occupants of the table, sat down in the thankfully empty spot next to Alice.

When he did so, the Dragonair snapped out of her glaring contest with her untouched stew and turned to look at the new arrival. Her eyes, distant and tired, seemed to light up ever so slightly.

"Oh—hey, Flame," she said with a small, soft smile.

"Hey," he said, returning the smile. His gaze drifted briefly to her stew. "What … uh, what's wrong?"

Alice exhaled a heave. "Discrimination, that's what's wrong." She sent her meal an odious look. "Does it look like my tail was made for handling spoons, or bowls?"

Flame blinked, and glanced at her meal; indeed, a metal spoon was in her stew. "… there were spoons?"

"I told the cook I couldn't eat like this, and he basically sent me off. Said they don't have cutlery made for serpentines. Arceus, now I have to eat like some feral…"

Flame quirked an eyebrow, his lips curling upward in amusement. "Are you trying to get me to spoon-feed you?"

Alice simply stared at him, shaking her head in feigned incredulity.

"Say that again," Alice said, her smile turning mischievous, "and I'll show you I can still throw this at you just fine."

As if tied to the same switch, they both let out a hearty chuckle that lasted a good few seconds.

Feeling strangely satisfied, Flame turned his eyes to his brown-coloured stew and the chunks of meat and potatoes floating in its midst. Once again the problem of not having a spoon presented itself. He could probably manage to gulp the whole concoction down his throat, but he wasn't ready to sympathise with Alice that far.

"So, can I…" he trailed off, his paw hovering over the spoon.

She raised her gaze to meet his, then nodded to the unspoken question.

He nodded back, and brought the dripping spoon over to his own bowl. "Thanks. I … um, didn't realise there were any."

"They were just by the platters. How did you miss them?"

He actively avoided looking at her as he lifted his first spoonful of stew. "… Yeah."

Chuckling quietly, Alice shook her head once again. "You're incredible."

Flame swallowed the first potato with no small amount of courage. He found the taste surprisingly decent. Granted, after a week of hospital soups, anything would have tasted better.

The potatoes disappeared in under a minute, the meat in a fraction of that time, at which point he brought the bowl to his maw and gulped down the remaining liquid. Only now did it dawn on him that this had been his first meal of the day. His first. How on earth had he managed to carry that bag while fasting?

Once he set his bowl down, he also realised that everyone else was still halfway through theirs. It probably wasn't healthy to eat with so much haste, he thought. Alice was in a very awkward position, her maw nearly glued to the table as she tipped the other end of the bowl towards her with her tail. Her cheeks bore a red just shy of matching her scarf, and her eyes were darting left and right, catching his glance immediately. He averted his gaze immediately with an apologetic frown.

Gaius on the other hand, had his usual, distant stare, every movement—from the way he held his spoon to his chewing—slow and sluggish. Flame noticed immediately that he was hiding his stub under the table.

What he also noticed, and what grabbed his attention the most, was that the other legionaries at the table were staring intently at the three of them—more often than not, at Gaius in particular, exchanging glances he did not like the nature of.

Then, the Zangoose sitting across from Flame leaned into his neighbour's ear.

"This is just getting ridiculous," he whispered, but loud enough that Flame could hear. "I mean, I know we're losing, but a damned cripple? What next, are they going to start recruiting Magikarp from river beds?"

The Zangoose had barely finished speaking when a spoon crashed against his forehead and drops of stew exploded over the table. The legionary drew back and yelped, clutching his right eye in pain. Flame's heart leapt from his throat when he turned to see that Gaius was up from his seat, leaning forward with the leaf blade on his stump hovering close to the legionary.

"I've still got everything I need to slit your throat right here, right now!" Gaius growled, raising the leaf blade on his stump.

After a moment's shock, Flame shot from his seat as well and pulled on Gaius' arm, succeeding momentarily only to receive an elbow to the snout.

Flame fell back down to his seat, rubbing his aching nose, just as the Zangoose uncovered his face, showing the stew-soaked fur on the side of its face and a red eye.

"You … you're fucking mad," the legionary growled back, before a toothy grin flashed on his face. "Oh, did I hurt your feelings too much? How rude of me. It must be horrible, being a cripple and all…"

Flame jumped forward once again and pulled Gaius' arm back, but not before the tip of his leaf blade cut into the Zangoose's cheek in a haphazard swipe, sending the legionary reeling back far enough to nearly fall off his seat.

"Gaius—Gaius!" Flame said while struggling against the Grovyle's resistance. "Stop! There's no point!"

The Zangoose rose from his seat in a flash, sharp claws in display as blood trickled down his face. "Want me to take care of that other hand for you, leaf?"

"Oh, shut it, private," said the amused Scyther by his side as he rose as well. "You can't even look the Captain in the eye without shaking, much less start a fight. Let's just go."

One by one, the five legionaries opposite of Team Phalanx rose from their seats and vaulted over the bench, more than a few holding back a grin as they passed by their bruised comrade.

"Fuck you, guys," the Zangoose muttered under his breath, rubbing his cheek. He turned towards Gaius. "Let's see how long you last on the battlefield, cripple. Good to know real soldiers like us will have bait to keep the Scum busy."

Then, he disappeared behind the bustling tables.

Although the threat had ended, Flame's eyes never left Gaius as he unhooked his arms from the Grovyle and returned to his seat. With only a single sideways glance, the Grovyle was aware of him and Alice staring directly at him.

"Gaius…" murmured Alice, her eyes quiet and alert. She was visibly trying to collect her words.

"I—I know," Gaius muttered, staring down at the table. "I know. Don't ask me."

"What were you thinking?" said Alice, speaking slower than usual. "You can't get into trouble over some idiots. They have no idea what you—"

"I said I know," growled Gaius, his eyes lost among the nearby tables, his two claws clenching. "Stop lecturing me. Let … let me think."

Thus stopped all conversation at Team Phalanx's table.

Flame was suddenly unsure of what to do, despite his urge to look into Gaius' eyes. The thought had lingered in his mind ever since their hospital stay, but now, he could no longer ignore the fact that Gaius had changed. Losing an entire hand plus one of his digits ought to crush one's spirit, of course, but to witness such an outburst for himself … it scared him.

He glanced at Alice and saw similar concern etched on her face; for a few heartbeats, the two of them shared a look of understanding, of quiet resignation. Their eyes drifted apart, their heads hung low, only to then meet again moments later, seeking a distraction from the thoughts storming their heads.

It was Alice who spoke first, improvising a small, uneasy smile. "So … I saw you two head out with the supply convoy after we split up. What happened?"

Flame was puzzled by the subject matter, but he could understand the need for small talk.

He let out an exaggerated heave. "They made us carry those bags all the way to the city gates. Two hours—that's how long it took. Whatever they made you do, it couldn't have been worse than that," he said, unconsciously returning the smile. "By the way, what did you do?"

Her smile crumbled at once. A vague sense of anxiety entered her features, her mouth parting for all of a second, before closing shut once again. She was visibly cobbling words together while Flame's thoughts scrambled to figure out what he'd said wrong, a nameless guilt gripping him already.

"The … Captain wanted me to train with Aerial Assault Squadron, to, to see if I could join them," she said as her breathing became ever so quicker, ever so shallower. "By Mew's grace, it's always the same story. I told him again and again that I … th-that Dragonair can't fly, that it's just a blasted urban myth that everyone seems to believe. And, and you know what he did? He accused me of lying! As if he knows better than me about my biology!"

Taken aback by the growing fierceness in her tone, he frantically cast glances around to make sure nobody was looking at them. Never had he heard such passion in her voice. Was this truly the full extent of the issue?

The look in Alice's eyes turned into one of pure hate. "He and his dear Emperor can go to hell. What does it matter what the imperial princes can or can't do? I'm not them. I am not them!" she half-shouted, before turning to him and failing to catch her breath. "Th-there's, there's a … dozens of my kind. I-in the imperial court, I mean. None of them fly. None of them."

Strangely enough, Gaius of all pokémon huffed loudly.

"Yeah, sure," he muttered, his eyes as distant as his voice. "Keep telling yourself that, Alice."

Alice snapped her head towards him, and she made a small growling sound. "Oh, would you shut up? Go back to killing yourself with booze, why don't you!"

Something resembling anger flashed through Gaius' eyes; despite this, he continued to stare. Silence befell the table.

Flame swallowed, trying to quell his rising fear as he swapped looks between the two. Never had his team felt so close to utter collapse before. Never had he witnessed Alice steer away from her calm, collected demeanour. Of course, he knew one could not feel calm and collected indefinitely—but it was still no less traumatising to see.

There were no doubts in his mind that this issue of flight affected her much more than she let on. He had a hard time believing that someone as rational as Alice could lose control over something so apparently frivolous. There had to be something she was withholding. Why hide it, then? The more he reflected on her words, Gaius' comment, the more a single question rose above all else.

Is she lying to me?

That doubt lingered as he stared at her, but it was nowhere near enough to drown out his chest from tightening at seeing her head hung low, lip twitching, eyes squeezed shut in a mix of bitterness and sorrow.

Flame drew in a shuddering breath, and despite his hesitation, laid a paw on her middle.

The reaction to his most likely warming touch was swift; jerking awake slightly, her head shot towards him, then relaxed slightly with an apologetic look. She held his inquisitive gaze, and, though she flashed him the faintest of smiles, her eyes told a completely different story.

"Alice…" he said softly, then tried to come up with something, only to find his mind completely blank and his heart strangled with spasms. It dumbfounded him how hard it was to find words that didn't feel insincere or hollow.

"What's wrong?" he breathed out eventually. Arceus, why did he have to sound so trite…

Alice immediately averted her gaze, but managed to look back at him again. "I'm sorry. It's … it's something stupid. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." she looked over to the side. "What I said was wrong, Gaius. I hope you can forgive me."

"Eh," the Grovyle shrugged his slouched shoulders, not deigning them a look. "Guess you had a point."

Flame applied a tiny bit of pressure to Alice's middle with his paw. She didn't seem to find the gesture intrusive or weird, so he kept it there, perhaps hoping to soothe her.

"It's all right," he said with a small, encouraging smile. "Can you tell me what's bothering you?"

Alice flashed him the flickers of a smile, before the tension in her expression won out and her head arched downwards again. "Honestly? I'm worried, Flame. All these preparations… They're planning something. Perhaps it is a precautionary measure to ensure Aesernia can be defended. Perhaps they are planning an expedition to the north." he saw her swallow before continuing. "Either way, th-they won't just leave an enemy army roaming the countryside. We—…"

Alice never finished that sentence, yet there was no need to. They both knew exactly what had been left unsaid. They would be sent to the battlefield very soon. Flame found that he could not look her in the eye.

"I know," he said, a sudden tightness blocking his throat.

"I, I just … I thought we'd get more time," she mumbled out, her voice rising in pitch and tightening toward the end.

The sound of that was too much for his heartstrings. He brought his arms around her, and enveloped her in a hug, a tender warmth flooding his senses from within. She posed no resistance, only seemed to embrace him back; her head settled onto his shoulder, and he rubbed the back of it gently with a paw. Neither of them moved for what felt like a while. Despite being in the middle of the mess hall, packed with shouts and laughter from every direction, he was still able to hear her shaky breathing, feel her slim chest expand and contract against his.

Eventually, they both pulled back simultaneously. His eyes sought hers, and though they still gleamed in the room's torch light, she made an effort to steel her posture, as well as her expression.

"Th-thanks," she said simply.

He nodded back, still smiling softly. As he let his eyes wander around the room—half the tables now empty, he saw—a single thought permeated his mind: his plan.

Alice's fears of a coming confrontation may well have been true, yet there was something they could do. All it would take was the right opportunity—perhaps a reconnaissance mission, any excuse to wander outside the gates; they would separate from their unit and vanish into the forest, vanish before anyone could figure out their intentions. A surge of excitement flooded his veins. He looked again between Alice and Gaius, both busy in thought. They needed to know. They needed to know there was a way to decide their own destiny.

And yet, just as he was about to call for their attention, he held off.

No. Not now, he thought as his eyes swam from one table to another. If someone overhears us, we're as good as dead. I need to wait until we're alone. Maybe on the way back…

As his thoughts once again wandered to his teammates, he tried his hardest to block out the thought that perhaps they might not sign onto his plan after all.


The sky was devoid of stars that night. Flame didn't know whether it was his curiosity or his paranoia that made him notice that.

He, Alice, and Gaius were walking on one of Camp Tempest's many secondary pathways—perhaps they too were seeking a bit of quiet, he thought. No matter how many times he checked behind his back, the only visible signs of life were the small, shadowy figures moving manning the perimeter watchtowers, illuminated only by the faint glow of torches.

Nobody else seemed to be walking that path; most of the camp was likely in their quarters by then.

Thus, the more Flame spun his head to investigate every shadow of their surroundings, the more he realised they were as close to alone as one could get.

Now might be the only opportunity I'll get, he thought, trying to calm the rising pressure in his chest. There's no one around. Just tell them.

He found that his breathing was unusually shallow. Twisting his head to look around for the last time, he gradually slowed the steady pace he had maintained by his teammates' side until he came to a complete halt.

"Hey, guys…" he said. "Can we stop for a second? There's … something I need to tell you. It's important."

Gaius and Alice were now standing still too, looking back at him intently. He made an effort to meet their stares, and suddenly found the need to swallow before words could form in his throat.

"Okay. This is … going to be difficult to say," he rubbed his forearm unconsciously. "So, I've been thinking of a plan… Well, 'plan' is a bit of a strong word, since I haven't really thought of any details yet, but … it's still something worth considering. I, I think."

Alice tilted her head, yet her eyes asked him to continue. Gaius, meanwhile, was visibly evaluating whether his words were worth his attention.

He wrung his claws together, scouring his head for the right words to make his plan sound sensible.

"L-look, I never asked to be recruited. This isn't what I want for my future. I don't … I don't want to live day by day, not knowing if I might be dead a week from now. Maybe you feel the same," he shot Alice a look. "I—I know it may sound crazy, but I honestly can't think of anything else we can do."

"Please, Flame, relax," Alice said. "If you have an idea, share it."

"We run away," he mumbled out rapidly. "Run away from Aesernia, from the military, go … I, I don't really know where we would go, but anything's better than fighting this stupid war."

Flame gauged their reactions from his first word to the last: Alice's eyes seemed to light up in understanding, and an aura of vexation seemed to emanate from her features.

"Oh," she hummed, her eyes glazed over in thought. "Flame, I … d-don't get me wrong, I completely agree with how you feel. Didn't I just cry to you about it? If executed properly, we could easily do it, but I just … I just don't know."

Flame tried not to show too much hurt on his face, and by his estimates, he failed miserably.

"Oh," he said with a minute voice. "I … I understand, if it seems too dangerous. I won't force you to go."

Alice's frown deepened, and guilt flashed across her. "What? No, no, it's not—it's not that. I hate being here. Every fibre of my being wants to follow your plan, believe me, but it's…"

Suddenly her eyes darted away from his, looking behind her, returning to his in a fluid motion.

"The authorities don't take desertion lightly, Flame," she said in a quiet voice, her face tense and unsure. "We'd be put to death if they found us. The only option for us would be to go into hiding—I don't know where, but certainly far away from any major cities or army camps. We'd essentially live the rest of our lives as outlaws. Well, okay—maybe not our whole lives, but … at least for a few years. Maybe longer."

Flame gave her a small nod of understanding as thick, gooey dread filled his stomach. She wasn't going to come along. Of course she wasn't. Who would agree to be marked as a traitor for the rest of their lives in the eyes of the authorities? It was a stupid plan, just as stupid as him.

"I don't know," she whispered, looking at some point far in the distance. "I just don't know."

Unsure how to continue, he turned his gaze towards Gaius, whose eyes snapped awake upon seeing his attention.

"Honestly? She makes a good point. But…" Gaius lowered his head, watching his two claws curl back into his fist. "Hell, it's not like I have much left to live for. If there's even a small chance we can start a new life in some backwater village… you know what? I'll come with you. I owe you that, at least."

At that, Flame paused in surprise, for he hadn't expected Gaius to back him so readily; at that he grew pensive, for he hadn't asked himself whether he was even willing to leave without them—whether he'd still leave without her.

His brain refused to indulge the dilemma, yet it hung around them like a cloud of smog, as they stood there in the middle of that shaded path, refusing to stare at one another, waiting for some unspecified word to be uttered. Just the concept of leaving without her burrowed a sense of emptiness into his chest.

"W-well, I…" he swallowed, and forced himself to look her in the eye, only to waver moments later. "I don't really want to leave you behind, Alice. But I also don't want to stay here. We could come up with a new, uh, plan, but I just can't think of anyth—…"

"No," she cut him off suddenly, her quiet voice gaining confidence as she spoke. "There will be no need. I'm going with you, Flame."

The abruptness of her answer left him with his mouth hanging open from his previous sentence, her words taking a few heartbeats to process in his head.

"What—are you sure?" he mouthed off the first question that shot to mind. "I mean—not, not that I don't want you to, of course, but … are you sure?"

Alice remained quiet; she chuckled weakly, shaking her head as she did so. "This has to be the rashest and most dangerous decision I've ever taken, and that's saying a lot. But I'm ready to take it."

"Oh. O-okay," he unconsciously began rubbing his neck. "You just said…"

She shook her head again, this time, determination shining in her eye. "And I was right. But you were right, too. This isn't living. This isn't what I want for me. I did not come this far just so he could—…" she stopped, squeezing her eyes shut as she took a sharp breath. "No matter the danger involved in your idea, it pales in comparison with what's ahead of us if we remain." she turned her head towards the night sky, towards the faint, red glow coming from the watchtowers. "Out there, somewhere, there's hope. In here? If it's not the coming battle that kills us, it'll be the next one, or the next one still. And in between them all, the waiting…"

He saw her pondering for a moment, before she concluded. "Anything, even if we risk a lifetime of hiding, would be better than this."

Her eyes returned to his, and when he saw the last shred of doubt in her eye cast out, he felt urged to hug her with inappropriate strength. It felt as though a Charmeleon's worth of weight had been lifted from his chest; the wide grin stretching across his face probably made him look idiotic, but frankly, he didn't care.

Alice smiled back—a soft, genuine smile, her voice softening as well. "Besides, I do believe we swore to always stick together when that sun was still up. What would going back on that promise say about me? A day in? Think of my reputation!"

"… Thank you," he whispered, still grinning. "Both of you."

For the first time in many days, Flame felt elated at finally having a solid goal in his mind. For the first time, he could envision a future for them that didn't involve angsting about what the next day would bring.

Out there, somewhere far away from Aesernia, lay the truth to his identity.

"Keep in mind,though," Alice said, snapping him awake, "that we can't simply walk out of here on a moment's notice. We'll only get one shot at this. If we are to have a chance out there, then at the very least we're going to need supplies and money to sustain us, as well as a general direction to head to. In short, we need a plan."

Flame's smile perhaps grew wider at the sound of that. This was happening—they were really going to run away together. Plus, the hurdles she had just mentioned didn't seem all that unsurmountable to him.

After a moment of thought, Gaius uncrossed his arms and stared directly at them. "It ain't much, but I can dig up the stash I left under our old tent. Bit of money and a few dungeon items. Better than nothing, right?"

Alice gave a small smile, and nodded. "It's a start."

Flame turned a skeptical eyebrow to the Grovyle. "Are you sure you can find it again? There's … there's probably thousands of those tents."

"After three years of living in one place, you tend to remember where it is," Gaius shrugged, a smirk growing across his face as he crossed his arms again. "Hah! I knew I made the right call stashing it there."

Alice nodded with finality, excitement visibly spilling over to her face. "We need to be vigilant, and take any opportunity to steal supplies from the army. If we're going to be criminals in their eyes, might as well double down on it, right?"

"Th-the scouting missions," said Flame, tripping over his words the more adrenaline flowed in his veins. "Virgo told me they equip you with seeds and berries and the like. We could volunteer. They're dangerous, but … they could also be an opportunity to make our escape."

Alice stood still for a moment, visibly pondering his suggestion, eyes glazed over. "… Yes. Actually, that sounds perfect. Tomorrow, while Gaius digs up the stash, we should go to the library to see what we can find."

Flame realised that he was shaking: he looked down at his open paws, and, seeing them tremble, smiled even wider and let out a small, liberatory laugh.

"So … we're actually doing this?" he asked.

"Yeah," Alice said with a smiling voice. "It sounds crazy to me, too."

It is crazy. Even Gaius is smiling

"And … afterwards?" he wondered aloud. "What do you think will happen if everything goes the way we intend it to?"

Alice laughed dryly, turning her gaze towards the starless void above. "Who knows? Perhaps we will find a village or town that will accept us. Perhaps we can take a ship to the far away eastern kingdoms. Somewhere out there, there has to be hope for us…"

It was not long before Team Phalanx resumed walking towards their quarters, and it was not long before they started crossing the more civilised parts of Camp Tempest and were forced to halt all discussion about the topic. Nevertheless, it was obvious from the looks they kept exchanging that none of them had stopped thinking about it as much as he was.

Flame had no doubts that it would take a week at the very least to fully prepare, yet he was ready to endure the wait. He let his attention wander to the half-moon. Alice was right; they only had one chance to make this work.

Indeed, if they fled, there would be no going back. No city to take refuge in. Their lives would be marked by that choice forever.

But, if they fled, they would do it together.


End of Chapter XVI
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, getting in one last review for your story as part of the ongoing Review Blitz event. It’s a mix of new and old material this time, though hopefully there’s still enough fresh material to make things a worthwhile read for you.

Alright, getting straight into the thick of things:

Chapter XV

It occurred to Flame that he was no longer felt cold. Much to his dismay, a dull, soft warmth enveloped his entire body, yet it barely registered against the crushing fatigue that weighed against his every muscle. When he opened his eyes, [he was greeted by what little light could filter through the leather roof above him.] When he shifted a paw to try to rub his face, he noticed that a thin blanket was covering him. And when he raised his head to check, he noticed that he was inside a leather tent packed with pokémon.

Flame collapsed his head to the ground into his bedding and let out a muffled groan, rubbing a claw up and down his nose. Still, the question of why he was warm, and why that sensation troubled him so greatly, remained unanswered. Besides, where the hell was he?

I should just go back to sleep… he thought, tearing his blanket away from his chest area.

I personally feel that the order that Flame notices things in after opening his eyes is a bit off, plus you probably want to establish that he’s waking up on bedding there since it is acknowledged later in this scene and it’s kinda all around his body right bow. Something like the below might be worth considering:

[ he was greeted by the feeling of hay pricking at his scales, and a glimpse of a leather roof above him with what little light could filter through it ]

Flame: "... Wait, is it even safe for me to fall asleep right now? How do I know if these Pokémon around me are even friendly?" .-.

Tiny insects bit away at his insides as he pushed himself into a seated position, and a sudden spell of dizziness overtook him. He looked down at his covered legs: there was his tail, peeking from underneath the blanket, a measly spark trembling on its tip. The sight formed a cold pit in his stomach.

But as he stared at it, he noticed another, bluer tail both peering from underneath the blanket right next to his.

Flame turned his head to find a familiar Dragonair lying next to him. [She stared back at him, her eyes wide in anticipation.]

["Flame!" she gasped hoarsely and buried her nose into his shoulder, his arms instinctively locking around her neck.]

You probably want to explicitly mention that Alice got up, or else explicitly mention how she goes from lying next to him to shoulder nuzzling. The below is one option to consider:

[ She craned her head up from her hay bedding after noticing his gaze and stared back, her eyes wide with anticipation. ]

And then in the following set of brackets, you’d build off something like the above with something along the lines of:

["Flame!" she gasped hoarsely. Alice all but leapt from her bedding and buried her nose into the Charmeleon’s shoulder, his arms instinctively locking around her neck in reply.]

Flame: "Alice?! How are you awake and standing right now?!"
Alice: "Er... well, me not having large strips torn off my chest and losing most of my blood kinda helped. Even if as you can clearly see, I'm not doing that great."

"Oh, um, hey…" he stammered out, accepting the embrace despite his growing confusion.

After a few seconds, she drew back, breathless, and her tired eyes searched for his. She was still wearing the crimson scarf he'd given her, despite the new tears in its fabric.

Flame: “Also, considering how I had my chest torn open earlier, how am I not in constant agony right now?”
701630550720512120.png

Alice: “One, I’m pretty sure you’re hopped up on Oran Berries right now. Two, there’s a reason why I’m nuzzling at your shoulder...” ^^;
Flame: “Actually, wait. Did the nurses let you keep any of our other belongings that we had?”
Alice: “... Did we even have any other belongings that weren’t being worn on our persons? I’m pretty sure those Sneasel destroyed our bags.”
Flame: “Wait, really? Not even that medallion of the Dragonite you had?”
- Alice beat moment -
Alice: “Oh my gods, please tell me I didn’t just leave that buried in the snow!” O_O;
Flame: “(That’s… quite a reaction for an alleged party favor.) Er… I think maybe try looking around for it sometime when you don’t look like you’ve been obviously patched up? I mean, sure the text didn’t say anything one way or the other, but…”

"Arceus, I thought—you, you wouldn't wake up," she blurted out. "Th-the nurses said you were stable, but it's been hours since then and I couldn't help but think that … I'm so glad you're okay…" her look of relief faded. "Um, are you okay?"

- Flame looks down at his bandaged chest wound -
Flame: “Er… well…”

Flame did not know what to say. Being subject to this much attention only made him feel more flustered.

"No. Not really," he mumbled as he ran a claw along the swollen scar tissue running down the length of his arm. Last he'd seen it, the wound was just one of many that were bleeding profusely. That was no longer the case, though his body still felt like he'd been trampled by a pack of Rhyhorn.

Minor nitpick, but “pack” of Rhyhorn probably sounds better as “herd” of Rhyhorn, unless the carnivore vibes are deliberate.

Flame: “Yeah, might want to ask that question again when I don’t need massive quantities of narcotics to not keel over right about now.” -_-;

Squinting his eyes to see through the blur, he spun his head around to make sense of his surroundings. Muffled sunlight leaked through the leather walls of the tent. Around him, dozens of pokémon lay on makeshift blankets, packed close to one another in varying degrees of consciousness. The lanes separating each row of patients was filled with nurses rushing back and forth with bandage rolls and berries in their arms.

Flame: "Oh so we aren't the sole survivors of Task Force Aegis. Thank goodness.”
Alice: “Uh… I actually didn’t check, but given that we got cut off by the Scum from behind at that Mystery Dungeon entrance and everyone else who made it out of Camp Horizon was on a cliffside path...”
701630550720512120.png

Flame: “Uh… maybe some of the ‘mons in camp ducked into the forest to hide or also made it out of Portus. God, I hope Livia also made it out-" [cold_sweat]
Alice: "She's still missing! No sign of her here! No need to get up and go to look for her!"
Flame: "... Alice, you realize that she shot me down and has a fiancé already, right? If she's still here, you can just say so!"
Alice: “Er… yeah, about that. Even if she did survive, I’d doubt you’d find her here.”
Flame: “Huh? Why’s that?”

"Where are we?"

Alice looked down, doing her best to slow down her breathing. "Camp Tempest."

Flame sat in silence for a moment as he processed the implications of that. "So … in Aesernia? H-how?"

"[I don't know. The nurses won't tell me,]" she squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep intake of air. "They've barely even talked to me this whole time."

I feel that it might be worth acknowledging if there were any known exits to Boreal Chasm and where they are in order to better ground what happened here. Since the last time there was an inexplicable “wake up safely outside the MD” sequence, it was right at the entrance of Castra Aeterna, so it might make sense to hint at if there’s any particular rules to how whatever’s going on here works.

e.x. If you’re coming down hard on “always turn up near a MD” as a rule for these moments, something like this might be worth considering:

[I don’t know. We were apparently found passed out at the entrance to a Mystery Dungeon not far south of the city, but the nurses won’t tell me anything else]

Flame: "The Mystery Dungeon dumped us out in Aesernia? How on earth does that make any sense when the entrance we took was 90 kilometers away from here? And it doesn't explain all these other Pokémon being here either!"
Alice: "Again, your guess is as good as mine. Everybody here who might have a clue's being really tight-lipped."

He looked at her, laying a paw on her middle. "And, how long have you…?"

"Hours," she whispered. "Maybe more. All they did after I woke up was list off my injuries and left me here for Arceus-knows how long with nothing to do but wait. Ah, I don't know—it's been hell, okay?

[ ]

I can't think clearly because everything hurts, so, so I tried sleeping but it's impossible knowing that you or Gaius could be dead, and not being able to do a damn thing about it. But now you're here, and—and…" stumbling on her words, she simply buried her nose into his neck again. "Y-you have no idea how good it feels to have someone to talk to."

I’d personally split up Alice’s dialogue and drop in a paragraph of description in between, since a lot’s going through her mind, so it might make sense to show how that affects her mannerisms and the like.

- Flame looks around -
Flame: "... Aren't there dozens of Pokémon all around us though?"
Alice: "Someone that I recognize and is lucid, Flame." -_-;

He allowed himself a warm smile, returning the embrace. The mention of Gaius flashed unwelcome images of ice and suffering to his mind's forefront. He clutched Alice a little tighter, then exhaled deeply to expel the memories. So much had happened, he did not want to deal with those thoughts. He looked behind Alice, then behind himself, finding only an empty patch of blanket where someone was obviously supposed to be.

Well at least it’s that and not drunken rants and almost getting an amateur tracheotomy.
803821849384583219.png


"Gaius," he looked down at her. "Where is he?"

She pulled back from their embrace, her eyes immediately seeking his. "Th-they took him away after I woke up. For surgery, I suppose. Or, or maybe he was already dead. He looked that way to me. I just—I just don't know."

Flame: “...”
401074476474957834.png

Alice: “Flame there’s nothing we can do about it right now, just rest a bit.”
Flame: “But if Gaius is dead, what about the team? How are we supposed to do missions without him?” O_O;
Alice: “Er… Flame? I don’t think we’re going to be doing more missions anytime soon.”
Flame: “What do you mean by that?”

Flame stared into her eyes a little longer as the weight of everything that had happened piled on. He collapsed his head to the ground, and covered his face with his paws. How had things gotten this bad? Up until two days ago, his vision for the future had been clear enough: make enough money to survive, ensure Team Phalanx a decent existence, and then, perhaps, figure out his old identity. All of that was gone now. Aesernia was dying, Task Force Aegis was already dead, and, last he'd he or Alice had seen him, Gaius was well on his way to join them.

Well, that’s certainly a… meager vision of the future there. Not that the present alternative is any better. ^^;

Flame: "'Task Force Aegis was already dead'? Aren't all the Pokémon here part of Task Force Aegis? We are at Camp Tempest, aren't we? Wouldn't the legionaries have had their survivors sent to their own camp?"
Alice: "Again, remember that the circumstances we left under… make it very unlikely that anyone else made it into Boreal Chasm with us, let alone made it through it in one piece.”
- Alice cranes her head around -
Alice: “I... didn't do a proper headcount since… you know, bedridden and all, but even if all of these 'mons were ours, there's no way that we can sortie with numbers this reduced and everyone left in this condition."
- Alice hangs head -
Alice: "Once we get an idea of who's left that's still fit to serve after recovering, the Task Force would need to be reformed to replace everyone we lost. Or merged with another that's still more intact. It simply won't be the Task Force Aegis you knew afterwards."
Flame: "... Alright, maybe that wasn't such an exaggerated statement." ._.;

If so, Team Phalanx would no longer exist—and what then? What of him? He still had very little clue who he used to be and why he was unable to remember, and the only solid evidence he'd gathered made him question whether he did want to find out.

Alice: “... Probably not a good time to mention that we’re going to have trouble getting leftovers for a while since… yeah, food in Aesernia in general’s going to be tight thanks to disrupted transportation networks.” ._.;
Flame: “... That really could’ve waited until after I had gotten through the whole ‘existential worries about the future’ spell.”
401074476474957834.png


He slowly uncovered his face, staring at the tent's ceiling. Feeling increasingly numb with each thought storming his mind, he simply lay there and listened: listened to the nurses shouting orders at one another, listened as they whispered something soft to a sobbing patient, listened to the creaking of cartwheels, to the pained screams coming from somewhere outside the tent.

Maybe that was Gaius, he thought, screaming and writhing as the doctors and nurses sliced his skin open with their instruments. It very well could have been, just as it could have been himself, or Alice being cut open and prodded at on the inside. His body tensed at the mere thought, as if jolted by electricity, and something caught in his throat.

Flame:
2f8.jpg

Alice: “I’m surprised this is affecting you so much after seeing dozens of dead and dying Pokémon just two chapters ago-”
Flame: “Look, that doesn’t mean that I want to see and hear more injured Pokémon right about now.” >_>;

Acting on impulse, he shot a look to his side to make sure she was still there, still with him, still close to him. Indeed, And she was: less than a body's distance away. It took him a moment to realise that their noses were just shy of touching. She stared back at him, her red eyes baring the anxiousness and fatigue that lay underneath. A soft smile crossed his face. He didn't know why, but seeing them up close brought him comfort.

Flame sighed softly and closed his eyes, but when he reopened them, he found she was still watching him. The fact roused questions in his mind, but, instead of feeling bothered, her continued attention spread tingles through his body. No, in fact, he was drawn to return such the Dragonair’s attention, finding solace in the fact that right here, right now, he was not alone. He could have remained like this forever.

Nothing, not even time registered as he stared into her and she into him, not even their tails touching one another under the blanket. Her continued attention spread tingles through his body. His thoughts tormented him for they no longer had a job, a leader, supplies—but a voice inside him whispered that none of that mattered for now, couldn't matter so long as she was by his side. That everything would be okay.

And then, ever so slightly, Alice smiled at him—her eyes were red, her face read sported pain all over, yet she smiled. It didn't take long before the cauldron of emotions in her eyes boiled away one by one, until only a certain fondness remained in them, a trance that mirrored the one buzzing inside him.

Flame: "Wait, are we seriously having a romantic moment in a tent full maimed and wounded strangers?" O///O
Alice: "R-Romantic?! Don't get ahead of yourself here! This is strictly platonic and I just need something to distract myself!" >///<
Flame: "(Yeah, no. I can see the same chapter text that you can.)"

Almost unconsciously, he was about to slip a paw to her middle when a loud voice from above them jolted them apart. Scrambling to sit up, Flame found himself face-to-face with an unamused Audino wiping her paws with a wet cloth, and alternating looks between him and Alice.

After a few seconds of silence, her eyes settled on him. "Show me your tail."

Flame: “... My tail? What on earth is wrong with my-?”

Flame sat there for a moment, perhaps expecting more warmth in a nurse's voice, and lifted the blanket off his body. The moment he did so, he could not help but cringe. [There was a patch of purple scar tissue running across his chest, as well as smaller cuts and bruises that marred his red scales.]

That explains why I'm feeling like shit right now… he grimaced.

You probably want to have Flame also explicitly notice the state of his tail in all of this, since he’s been asked to show it off to the nurse, and presumably his eyes would follow along at some point. I’d personally suggest doing that before he notices the absolute state of his chest, since… yeah, just the description of it is wince-worthy.
701630550720512120.png


The nurse seemed unconcerned of his extensive scarring, for she touched his forehead with her palm and held it there for a few seconds. Humming to herself, she drew her paw back and tapped her chin incessantly as she paced back and forth a few steps.

"Hmmm. Body temperature within acceptable range," she mumbled to nobody in particular, then glanced down at his feeble tail fire. "Continued monitoring required, but patient appears to be outside of danger," she stopped pacing and stared him in the eye. "Do you feel any pain or discomfort?"

Flame: “Wait, you can tell all of that just from a glance and putting a paw to my head?”
:what:

Audino: “Look, Charmeleon. I’ve got a tent full of half-dead Pokémon to tend to, so excuse me if I’m not giving you treatment fit for a king right now.”

Trying not to show his perplexity at how quickly she talked, Flame gave a simple nod. "Yeah. My head's a mess, I can't think clearly, and my … well, everything hurts."

The Audino hummed loudly once more. "Good. To be expected. Blood loss halted, but significant nonetheless. Dizziness and disorientation common symptoms." she shifted her eyes back to him. "Recovery liable to take time."

Flame: “(I think that this tent needs some better nurses.)” >_>;

Losing any and all interest in him, she moved on to Alice. "Proximity to fire-type will aid in recovering from hypothermia. Also means reduced need for rawst berry supplements. Good, good."

Flame: "Pr-Proximity to fire-type? A-Alice, she's not saying-?" O///O
- The Audino quickly ducks out -
Alice: "Aaaand she's gone."
Flame: "(Okay, I take that ‘better nurses’ comment back.) Heh, I mean... if we're both not really going anywhere..."

It occurred to Flame that he could ask the nurse where Gaius was and if he was still alive; but before he could even open his mouth to speak, she had turned back and briskly stepped out of the tent.

Flame: "(... Do I even want to ask this question? If Gaius really is dead, Alice would probably be a sobbing wreck for the rest of the day afterwards.) Er... oops, missed opportunity there."
Alice: "(Let’s not get crazy here, I don’t think I’d be sobbing. It’s Gaius.) I'm sure that he'll make it. Authors don't kill off main characters this early in the story..."
- Alice blink -
Alice: "Er... usually anyways. (Gods, I hope Gaius is alright.)"
Gaius: "(Psst! If I'm still alive, can you give me some lines already?!)"
Flame: "(Wait for a scene where it doesn't break the narrative.)"

Flame was left sitting there, utterly baffled at how little consideration the nurse had given them. The entire exchange had little more than thirty seconds. He looked towards Alice and she gave him an exasperated look that suggested this behaviour was nothing new.

Such is life when you’re triaging patients. Even if it’s probably not super comforting when you’re receiving aid.

"What was that?" he murmured, balling the blanket with his claws. "She barely even talked to us."

Alice shook her head, a playful smile itching onto her face. "When they gave me my first meal earlier today, I found out just how sweet rawst berries taste. And then, you took them away from me. I'm starting to rethink how glad I am that you woke up."

Picking up on her jesting tone, he allowed his expression to relax. "I can always go back to dying if you'd prefer."

Chuckling to herself, she rested her head on the ground, refusing to look him in the eye as her voice lowered to a whisper. "Please, don't."

Flame: “Alice, it was just a joke!” o_o;;
Alice: “Can you make some other joke when we’re in the middle of a field tent filled with maimed and wounded Pokémon right now?” >_>;

Tired and with an aching back, Flame decided to lie back down and smother himself in the blanket. That was, until he noticed that the same nurse from before had returned with two steaming bowls in her hands. Wordlessly, she laid them down at the foot of their bed, and he saw that they contained some sort of sour-smelling stew with bits of berries floating around.

"Eat," the Audino said, turning back to leave. "Only way to ensure recovery."

Flame: “... If I can smell that this soup is sour, just how bad is it going to taste?” O_ó;
Audino: “Look, do you want to recover from your injuries or no?” >_>;

After a moment of confusion, Flame's mind connected the dots and realised that there was a question he desperately needed an answer to.

"Nononono, wait! Wait! Miss!" he shouted over the general ruckus in the tent, reaching in her direction with his arm.

Thankfully, the nurse did stop, though the look she gave him caused him to hesitate for a moment.

"I, I need to know about our friend. He's a Grovyle, and they brought him with us, and, uh…"

"You'll see him soon," she said, and left the tent without so much as looking back.

Flame: "Uh... yay? Not sure how much I'm looking forward to putting up with his antics again right after going through all of this."
Alice: “Technically the nurse never confirmed that we’d see him alive, so…”
701630550720512120.png


As he sat there staring at nothing in particular, Flame was not sure what to feel. He wanted to be angry at the nurse for paying them so little regard, but frankly, he was simply too tired to care.

Shouting and moaning would change nothing. In the end, lying down and pulling the blanket over his head sounded like the most attractive option right now.

Alice shot him a cautious glance. "At least that means he isn't dead, right?"

Yeah, the Audino’s line back in the last block… was kinda ambiguous enough to interpret that Gaius wasn’t alive. ^^

You probably want to edit it to give more of a hard acknowledgement that he’s at least breathing such as [We’re taking care of him. You’ll see him soon.]

Flame shrugged his shoulders weakly. "I guess…"

Sighing internally, his attention shifted to the steaming bowls of soup sitting at the foot of their bed. Though only a minute ago he would have sworn otherwise, the thought of food made him realise just how terribly hungry he was. And thirsty.

He took hold of the bowl and brought it up to his maw, gulping down the sour concoction inside. When he was finished, he let out a tiny sigh of relief as renewed energy entered his system. At least now he wasn't at in danger of falling unconscious at any moment.

Licking his lips, he mused that it felt nice for his mouth to have an aftertaste of something other than vomit for a change.

I think that you probably want an “aftertaste” there, since Flame has tasted things other than vomit in the story, though not too many of them have lingered on in his mouth afterwards, which is where the vomit angle I think still holds.

Doesn't change much, but it's something, he sighed softly, running his claws through the rough fabric of the blanket draped over his legs. A tiny smile formed on his lips, but evaporated just as quickly.

He looked over to his side, and watched Alice take one last gulp of stew, before she lowered her bowl to the foot of her bed. The way she grabbed objects with her tail always made him snicker inside, though he'd never dare do it in her presence.

Not least of all because that’d get kinda awkward when you’re crushing on the same Pokémon you’re having a giggle at. :V

"How was it?" he asked.

She turned to him. "Not as sweet as my other meal, thanks to a certain someone, but … it was good."

He nodded slowly. "I could go for another. Before they forget about us again."

- Meanwhile from the distance, an irked Audino’s voice can be heard -
Audino: “We’re in a field hospital, take a number, Charmeleon!”
Flame: “Actually, with an attitude like that, maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they forgot about us for a while. >_>;

Alice showed the faintest hint of a smile as she coiled up on the ground, shifting so that her head rested against her middle.

Flame chose to do the same—he lied down and pulled the blankets up to his neck. He turned and writhed from his back to his sides, then on his belly, attempting to find a position that was remotely comfortable. Nothing worked. No matter how much he tried to force it, he knew there was no way he would fall asleep.

He felt like a moving corpse—unable to move his arms and legs without his muscles screaming in pain, his claws barely able to hold a bowl correctly. Worse of all, there was a constant haziness surrounding his head, a light buzzing that just wouldn't go away, that muddled his thoughts and made him feel even more sick and useless than he currently was.

Considering how the front of his body is all torn up, I’m surprised he even thought to try lying down on his stomach, since… yeah. Sounds like a fast way to get severe chest pains considering his present state. :V

Also recommend breaking up paragraph 2 into two pieces. There might be some other places where it could be broken up as well, but that’s what seemed the most natural to me.

Useless. That word sounded fitting right about now.

How did I let everything go so wrong? he thought, squeezing his eyes together and groaning out loud.

He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think that the life he'd begun to build for himself had been devastated in one clean swoop, that Gaius may have been dead, that the future held nothing for him. He didn't really have any answers for himself. Not while he was stuck in this Arceus-forsaken field hospital.

Alice: "Flame, don't beat yourself up over things. Nobody could've predicted that any of this was going to happen."
Flame: "I mean, I guess. I still think that I could've done better against those Sneasel as a Fire-type. But I don't know, I think this is just a general feeling of impotence over not being able to do more."
- Flame sigh and flop over -
Flame: "Yeah, I think that I'm ready to leg it to Capri."
Alice: "Well, not in this condition, you're not. Plus we still need to find out what on earth happened to Gaius first."

Unable to find peace, he twisted on his side to face Alice, and found that she was already looking at him. No sooner than their eyes met did her attention suddenly shoot off to some indiscriminate point near her tail, her face becoming tense as if crossed by an unpleasant thought.

"Alice? Is something wrong?"

"What? No—uh, I mean … yes. It's, it's just that I realised…" Alice mumbled, trailing off at the end.

This caught Flame by surprise. [In the short time he had known her, he'd never seen her this … vulnerable. There was the entire grind through the dungeon, sure, but that had been wholly justified.] But now, she looked almost defeated, a far cry from her usual calm and collected self.

Something about the phrasing in the bracketed bit feels off, since… yeah, Alice was a lot more vulnerable in Boreal Chasm. It might make sense to have Flame internally correct himself or something like that, e.x. Something along the lines of the following:

[ In the short time he had known her, he'd never seen her this … vulnerable, or at least not when she wasn’t in mortal peril. He supposed her present mood paled compared to the one she’d had towards the end of their grind through the dungeon, but who wouldn’t have looked vulnerable in such circumstances? ]

Probably more than one way to slice that apple, but some ideas to consider at least.

"I'm sorry," she said with a sigh.

Flame had no idea how to react to those words; especially since they were coming from her, of all pokémon.

"For what?" he said, not bothering to hide his confusion.

Alice: “I mean, for starters, there was the whole ‘let’s run into the icy cave to escape’ idea.”
701630550720512120.png

Flame: “Considering how the alternative was you and Gaius getting likely flying lessons off a cliff, I think that we can let that one slide.” ^^;

She shifted her neck in discomfort, as if unsure of what to say. "For doubting you. It's not something that I would have said aloud, but I … I kept thinking whether taking you in had been the right choice. Whether you even benefited the team at all."

For the briefest moment, Flame let offense overcome his thoughts. It was inevitable—he could not expect her to ignore an open fact, that he was inept in combat, but it still didn't make it hurt any less. Alice must have noticed his reaction, for as a flash of guilt flashed came across her face.

Oh, so Flame was onto something about being worried about Alice thinking he was a useless incompetent in earlier chapters.

Flame: “... Wait, but if I was really doing that badly, why did you just go along with it?”
:what:

Alice: “It was nice finally having a teammate that didn’t constantly go on rants about my home region in varying degrees of sobriety and I didn’t want to just let that go?”
701630550720512120.png


"L-look, I know," she blurted out. "I was being selfish. And, and stupid. Maybe I let Gaius' thoughts rub off on me—it doesn't really excuse me, but … you showed me how wrong I was. I wasn't trying to… I'm sorry."

Oh honey, it was a bit more than just his thoughts that rubbed off onto you. Even if you didn’t quite get to addressing that elephant in the room yet. :V

Any doubts pertaining to her sincerity vanished when he saw the borderline panic in her eyes. Lowering his gaze, he heaved a sigh, offering her a calming smile.

"Honestly? I don't blame you," he shrugged his shoulders. "Heck, I couldn't even breathe fire until you showed me how. I really was a mess in those first days. Still am, actually…"

It only vaguely registered in his mind that he was talking about events dating just over a week prior as if they'd happened in a distant past. It certainly felt that way to him.

Alice: “I mean, considering the absolute state of the past week and its events.” ^^;
Flame: “... Right, even before the earthquake, things were kinda… crazy. How on earth have you and Gaius not had a nervous breakdown yet?” .-.
Alice: “Bold of you to assume we didn’t considering that we were on the job on Task Force Aegis for 2 years and… life wasn’t exactly sunshine and roses for either of us beforehand.”
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"True, but I should have considered your condition," she said, unwilling to meet his gaze. "I can't imagine what it means having to relearn all there is to the world. Finding yourself alone and confused, with nobody to turn to.

[ ]

Or … well, I guess I can relate to that last part," she said as a sad, minuscule smile appeared on her face. "You have it worse than me. At least I know what I'm running from."

Flame raised his eyes to read hers, surprised. In the short time he had known her, she'd only ever touched upon her past in front of him on one occasion. And he recalled what little information he'd gotten out of her.

"Family?" he whispered softly.

At that, she froze. Her eyes bore into his inquisitively, and he could see a hint of a glimmer in them. "Th-that's besides the point. What I was trying to say is, despite everything I just said, despite all those doubts I had, you saved us. When Gaius and I gave up, you kept going. You kept us warm. You kept me warm. Whether or not it means anything to you … thank you."

I think that Alice’s first line of dialogue works a bit better broken up and separated by a moment where she visibly catches herself and has her mood turn a bit from brushing up against a nerve. But that’s just me.

Alice: "So yeah, it's the least I can say given that Gaius and I owe our lives to you right now. I guess in retrospect, I should've suggested a name for you that meant that you'd never give up."
Flame: "Well, it's about 14 chapters too late for that, and I think a mid-story rename would probably confuse the audience a bit. Especially when 'Flame' is a nice and snappy name, even if it's kinda simple. (Plus isn't that 'never give up' bit something that some mutt from another story or two already has going on? Could've sworn his name was quite the mouthful.)"

The way she said that last part moved something deep within him. It must have been the pure gratitude dripping from her every word, or the warmth they carried, the same, tingly warmth spreading through his body. As blood rushed to his cheeks, he mused that it was gratifying to feel something other than cold or pain for a brief change.

Or, you could just be crushing hard on a cute girl, Flame. That works too. :V

Alice gave him a kind smile and lingered let her gaze linger on him, but the tiredness etched in her features was becoming more apparent by the minute. Her sudden yawn right in his face only confirmed that, and they both burst laughing. Now uncoiled, she shuffled closer to him just shy of brushing against his torso. The sudden closeness meant that Flame's brain had no idea how to react. It made him feel a little flustered, but then again, it was also quite pleasant. He didn't really know why, but he welcomed it.

Flame: “Er… I actually think I do know why, but I’ll hold my tongue on the matter while there’s sobbing and screaming patients in the background right now. ^///^;

Alice mumbled something about cold and snuggled further under the blankets. Before long, her breathing stabilised, and sleep overtook her.

And thus, he was left alone—alone with his thoughts.

This was rare for him, for there was always some immediate concern that needed to be addressed, some imminent mission or meal to occupy his mind. Now, however, as he lay in this pitiful excuse for a bed, his only outlet for company sleeping soundly, he realised that there would be plenty of dull moments in the next few days.

He had no idea what how to feel about that. Perhaps some time to himself would do him good—perhaps it would help clear the turmoil currently wracking his brain. But at the same time, the prospect of quietness scared him: for he knew, oh, he knew that his mind would inevitably gravitate towards darker thoughts, as it always did. What else was there to think about?

His mental landscape was a jumbled mess of facts and half-truths, of convictions hunches and gut feelings that always eluded his grasp when he tried to investigate their nature. Not only was his past life still one such conviction largely a mystery to him, but the few hints he'd gathered about it terrified him more than what he didn't know. Just thinking of the Dusknoir made him jittery. The way it had smiled at him, the way it had touched his shoulder…

I think that the last paragraph is big enough that you ought to consider hacking it up into two or three separate paragraphs. In this case, I suggested 3, but the last two could potentially be merged without really missing a beat since they relate to each other.

Flame's claws unconsciously curled around his sheets. No, no one could know. No one could ever be allowed to know that out of all the pokémon in the world, he had to be connected to the leader of the Arceus-damned Scum. He would be arrested and thrown to the gallows before a jeering crowd. Would they even stop there? With such a high-profile case, they would surely do the same to Alice, and damn her family connections. If so, he had become more of a liability to his team than he already was.

Flame: “Pretty sure that that was more than just gallows I saw in Victory Square, but I’d rather not panic even harder right about now.”
701630550720512120.png


But even that worry felt vague and far into the future. Right now he was stuck on this tiny sleeping mat, barely able to formulate a thought, unable to do anything but wait.

Flame stopped his spiral of thoughts before it got too far, and watched Alice's chest rise and fall with each breath. He closed his eyes, let out a sigh, and let his mind focus on her breathing.

Flame: "Also, wait. Wouldn't the fact that I turned on that Scum Dusknoir count for something as a defense? Like they’re not seriously going to kill me over having a connection to someone that’s now my enemy, right?"
- Flame thinks back to the Combusken bros who got 86ed for meme crimes -
Flame: "Uhm... yeah, I think I'll keep my mouth shut." ._.

The two Rhydon cleared another chunk of rubble from the servants' quarters before announcing they had unearthed another body. A troop of legionaries flocked to the scene, and together they hauled the twisted remains of a Gardevoir to the nearest common grave. The rest of the soldiers present spared little more than a glance at the newest victim before returning to their cleanup duty.

In the midst of all that, Ariel watched the process from afar.

Virgo: “Yeesh, she’s definitely not a looker anymore. Getting squashed by rubble doesn’t help your complexion, who knew-?”
Yvaine: “Virgo, can you focus on doing your job standing guard and not ogling the dead slaves?” >_>;

Three-hundred and fifty slaves had died in the collapse—the near totality of those she had owned before the earthquake. However, that fact barely entered her mind. Slaves were cheap, and with the extravagant wealth at her disposal, she could empty the whole auction house and not lose any sleep over it.

That wasn't what had her worried.

All things considered, she ought to have been thankful: not only was she lucky to have been outside when the tremors struck, but she was also nowhere near her villa when the raging crowd attempted to break through, and that, besides the heap of rubble that used to be the servants' quarters, her villa was mostly intact.

Instead, she was worried because none of it would matter a few days from now.

>be Ariel
>be too cheap to construct your slave quarters properly
>almost all of them die as a result from an earthquake

Something something 'a penny wise and pound foolish'. Though shouldn't there logically have been more survivors among Ariel’s slaves than the text implies given that the earthquake happened in the middle of the day and her slaves would've been busy with tasks in and around her mostly-intact Domus?

Since unless if siesta culture is a thing in Urbe and the earthquake came at exactly the wrong time of day when everyone would be resting to continue working into the evening, you’d think that if she had 350 slaves to lose in a fell swoop during the middle of the day, that she’d also have had a decent number out and about babysitting her manor and its gardens.

But sure, I should be jumping out of fucking joy, she thought, and began walking towards her villa, arms locked behind her back.

There was a hole in her stomach, one that had been churning away at her insides for the better part of the day ever since she had heard the news. She knew it wouldn't stop growing until she spoke to Sycorax. He—if the Genesect could even be considered a he—was the only one who had any grasp on the current situation. Not because she fancied the idea of begging someone else for help, but because without adequate information, she had no other option.

For a few minutes, she walked along a path flanked by immaculate hedges and orange trees. Normally this would serve to calm her spirit, but that was nowhere near true when she reached the front yard of her villa. Just as expected, Sycorax was there, surrounded by an entourage of stone-faced Imperial Army officers.

I dunno how much it was consciously planned, but the orange trees are a nice touch and subtle hint of wealth. Since yeah, being able to keep citrus trees in much of the western world has been a historical flex, enough that building big, elaborate greenhouses to keep them in was for a time popular among those with means.

Although Ariel could have waited for their conversation to end, she did not have the patience for pleasantries right now at that moment. Instead, she approached the group with a heavy step, and stood looming a few metres behind the General.

"Sycorax," she said plainly, attracting the immediate attention of everyone present. The officers regarded her with little more than indifference. Her authority meant naught to those within the Imperial Army, and they knew it. One more reason for her to despise the Army types.

Somehow it is just completely unsurprising that Ariel has a complex about not being respected and obeyed by others, especially with the extent she lords over those she does have power over. I’m aware that Ariel and Sycorax are both literature references to The Tempest, so I have to wonder if there was also a dynamic like this between their counterparts from that story.

The Genesect turned to meet her glare for one moment, then faced the officers again. "I must discuss recent developments with the governor now. We shall continue later."

"Understood, sir," said a Scizor, saluting the General before leaving with the others.

Oh hey, it’s the jerk that stiffed Team Phalanx out of their army rations. Maybe. Possibly.

Once there was nobody else within earshot, Sycorax turned fully to regard her with those unfeeling, bloodshot eyes of glass.

"Ariel. I did not realise we were in such a friendly relationship as to call each other by name. Have you had a change of heart?"

Sycorax: “Really now, from the way you treated me last time, I’d think we weren’t even on speaking terms. So why do I want to hear you out again?”
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It was hard to get over the fact that his … its mouth didn't move while speaking, and how grating its voice sounded. She couldn't even find it in her to feel offended. The fact that no emotion whatsoever could be read outside of its voice made it all the more unnatural.

After taking a deep breath, Ariel steeled her face to the coming storm.

"You know why I'm here," she muttered, narrowing her eyes. "Just tell me what the situation is."

- Sycorax side-eyes -
Sycorax: “... Ariel, in case if you haven’t noticed, but I’m kinda busy with other things right now. Not the least picking up after your mess from your villa-”
Ariel: “Look, how long does it take to provide a basic status report?!” >.<

"Very well," the Genesect scanned her face, keeping a soldierly stance. "Approximately twelve hours ago, one of my scouting teams operating outside the city walls was reached by a group of flying-types claiming to belong to Civil Protection. They were traumatised and in critical condition.”

[ ]

“From what little we were able to gather, the Portus relief expedition has been was ambushed by barbarian forces and was ultimately wiped out,” Sycorax reported. “Simultaneously, the largest portal storm ever witnessed just so happened to materialise above the city itself, where the near entirety of Task Force Aegis was operating at the time."

Ariel grew more numb the more facts were laid at her feet. She did not notice her breaths stopping until she attempted to speak.

"What?" was all she managed to wheeze out.

I think that this segment works better if you divide Sycorax’s dialogue into two paragraphs and show Ariel’s reaction in a descriptive paragraph as things go along. What her reaction is and whether that’s annoyance, worry, or shock, likely boils down to where that dividing point is, since her immediate reaction likely would noticeably differ depending on the sentence at which you show off her body language and the like.

Sycorax stopped for a moment, his eyes wandering to the sky before resuming. "Since then, we have found other survivors. The last three were recovered just this morning. The total number stands at fourteen, including the team who delivered the grim news."

Flame: "W-What?! Fourteen 'mons in all of Task Force Aegis survived including us?! There were a hell of a lot more than fourteen Pokémon described in that tent! Who were-?!"
Alice: “Maybe they were from our legionary escort? Though if we really took losses that severe, just how many of them made it out?"
Flame: "... Actually now that you mention it, these ‘mons could just as easily be a bunch of random townsfolk who are still hurt from the earthquake. Certainly not any shortage of them right now. Though I wonder why we didn’t notice sooner in-story that none of these faces looked familiar,”
- Blink moment as Gaius pipes up from the peanut gallery -
Gaius: "Wait, aren't those Flying-Types the same late-as-hell aerial team that took us from Portus? How on earth did they stay airborne to report to Sycorax if they were in 'critical condition'?”

Ariel let her gaze fall to the ground, mouth hanging open. Nearly a thousand pokémon had left Aesernia three days ago. Now, in the blink of an eye, her whole organisation—the organisation she had struggled so hard to seize control of, to mold to her own image, was simply gone, slaughtered at the hand of barbarian Scum.

Considering how Ariel was kinda a thorn in leadership’s side, I have to wonder how much of this was truly a stroke of fate in light of things that came out in Chapter 30. Since boy is it convenient that Ariel just got shoved out of the way after this whole debacle.


"I would not rule out more survivors coming to us in the following days, considering the time necessary to make the journey on foot, but we must accept the likelihood that not many survived in the first place. That Task Force Aegis no longer exists."

Rest of Aesernia:
iu


Ariel: “Yeah, yeah, yuck it up you lousy peasants. Who do you think has your back right now?” >_>;

Ariel shook her head, pacing back and forth to glue her thoughts together. "How is this possible? There wasn't supposed to be anybody there. Much less the Scum. If the front lines broke, we would have heard something by now," she stopped pacing. "No. It's impossible. They simply couldn't have been there. And your soldiers—what the fuck did I bring them for? You're telling me they couldn't defeat a bunch of stone-age filth who are still learning how to bang rocks together?"

I mean, they’ve only been struggling at doing that for 20 years now. Possibly longer if this setting has a proper analogue to the Clades Variana so… yes? :V


Sycorax stared at her long and hard, and if its eyes could move, she guessed they would be narrowed at her right now.

"If I had an answer to those questions, Ariel, none of this would have happened in the first place. Shouting will lead us nowhere," the Genesect said in a lower tone, leaning its head close to glare at her. "It brings to light a whole new method of transportation they are using to move about undisturbed. I have theorised in the past that they may be exploiting the ejection properties of mystery dungeons to reappear inside our borders. How they would manage to move such a large number of pokémon is beyond me, but, evidently, they were successful."

796822964019527760.png


Yeah, okay Sycorax.

She clenched her claws into fists, feeling a deep yearning to shout her lungs out for the sake of disobeying and smash the General's head for the sake of smashing something. Yet she kept quiet, seething at the creature who outranked her and had the power to remove her from her post simply by whispering into the Emperor's ear.

If it noticed her behaviour, however, Sycorax did not show it.

It might also make sense to play up that Adrian just flatly trusts/has a closer bond with Sycorax Ariel. Since while it’s obvious that she and Adrian have some sort of personal connection with each other, if she tried to turn things into “It’s Sycorax or me”, she’d lose the contest quite handily.
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"I cannot possibly believe that the portal storm was a coincidence," the Genesect turned, head hung low in thought. "There are simply too many factors involved playing into the enemy's hands. Not only did it form just as the main camp was attacked; but it just so happened to materialise over the city where half of our military forces were operating, denying precious reinforcements." Pausing, it shook its head. "No, it was too perfect a gift for our adversaries to be the product of random chance."

"What are you trying to get at?" Ariel asked, donning a sideways look.

Sycorax did not respond immediately, as though contemplating its response. "Some who hold more … radical views have suggested that the Scum can manipulate portal storms and in fact may be their cause of portal storms. but This is the first time I've been inclined to agree with them."

Gaius: "How do they manage that while still fighting on the ground like a pack of common ferals?! They didn't even have aerial support when they overran Camp Horizon!"
Flame: "Just saying, just the portal storm alone would've wiped out most of the Task Force. If they really are controlling these portal storms, maybe it's helping them punch above their weight."
Alice: "... Just how far can they send these storms if they managed to send one into Portus? Since however far they can send them, that's how far they can go too." ._.

Ariel balled her claws into fists, wrestling struggling to keep her tone under control. "Who gives a damn? You know where they are. Send in your army to crush them!" she pointed an accusing claw at the General.

Sycorax:
bdd.jpg

Ariel: “What do you mean no?!” >.<

"Unfeasible," Sycorax shook its head. "The legions on the border would take too long to mobilise, and even then they are needed to hold the front lines. Ever since the Portus garrison perished alongside the city, I'm afraid we are the only ones close enough to do anything."

"…You want to engage them with our garrison?" she said numbly as the news sunk in. "Risk the only troops at our disposal?"

Sycorax: “Did I stutter?”
Ariel: “Oh dear gods, who on earth made you Supreme-?” >.<
- Beat moment -
Ariel: “... Right. Adrian and Our Benefactors did.” ._.;
Sycorax: “Correct, and unless you’d like to explain yourself before them, you’ll mind your tongue right about now.”

Not only did Sycorax ignore her question—it did not even deign to look at her. Instead, the Genesect turned towards the villa's exit, the sun gleaming against its purple carapace. It stared at the tall palm trees swaying ever so minutely in the breeze.

"As of this moment, I am taking control of Camp Tempest as temporary headquarters of the VII Legion," Sycorax said, stepping briskly towards the villa's exit. "Await further updates."

>Sycorax is going double-or-nothing with the Legion babysitting an approach directly into Urbe's environs from the north

Oh yeah, that totally won't end in disaster.

Flame: "Uh... yeah, think we should probably try to bump up that trip to Capri a bit." ._.
Alice: "Flame, we don't have much of a choice at the moment. We're both seriously wounded and can't travel until we're healed."
Gaius: "What are you two shedding your scales over? Hasn't this Sycorax 'mon been around for literal decades? I'm sure that he can't do that bad of a job." :/
Flame: "Gaius, remember that he’s been leading the army for at least 13 of the last 20 years that they’ve been failing at holding off the Scum. And that he's more concerned about his stupid 'Ascension Programme' succeeding than Urbe being overrun." >_>;
- Gaius blanch -
Gaius: "... Okay, tell me a bit more about where this Capri place is again? Maybe we can come up with a party trick or two that'll help us get down there sooner."
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"What? You can't do this to me!" Ariel took a menacing step forward. "You're forgetting who I am! Oh, His Majesty will hear of this. I'll tell him to—hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

I’m sorry, Ariel. But being Adrian’s… I dunno what you are with him, but my money is either on “sibling” or “childhood friend” isn’t going to get you out of this one and you should know better. :V


Despite her angry ramblings, Sycorax did not turn, nor did it slow down. Instead, it moved farther and farther away until it could no longer be seen, leaving a lone, powerless Haxorus staring dejectedly under the dying sun.

Ariel: “Blugh… what a day. Servants! Get me my passum!
- Ariel waits for a moment and blinks -
Ariel: “Right, they’re almost all dead. I’m… just going to go and grab a cask and dunk my head in to forget this entire nightmare.” >_>;

Upon one of the many pitiful excuses for a bed in the field hospital, Flame's eyes unceremoniously flared open as he awoke, lying on his back upon one of the many pitiful excuses for a bed in the field hospital and while staring up at the sparse ceiling. Dust particles floated silently in the air, visible only in the vicinity of his tail fire. That detail, plus the darkness enveloping some of the outer corners of the tent, told him that the sun had long set outside.

"Damn it all…" a groan escaped through his shut jaws.

Another sleepless rest to add to the tally, he supposed. Of course he should have expected his sleep patterns to be fairly erratic in the wake of his long stay, but now he was barely getting any time to recharge.

I mean, after everything he endured in the past three chapters, I’m surprised Flame isn’t going full:

2f8.jpg


Right about now.

His body, at this point, seemed actively trying to rebel against him staying in this position. His back never let him forget that it was aching, and his legs were frenzied by ever-restless with the urge to get up and about and actually do something for a change.

All this, and he'd been here for … what, two days? He hardly made an effort to keep track. It was probably less than that.

I mean, yeah. I’d get stir crazy after hearing nothing but hospital patients in various states of duress with nothing to keep me occupied for two days myself.
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Hoping against all odds that Alice would keep him company, he shot a look in her direction and sighed heavily when he saw her sleeping form wrapped in blankets. Arceus, he wished he could talk to her right now. It would help him feel so much better.

Disheartened, he spun on his side to find a comfortable position, facing away from her; the last thing he expected to find, however, was a familiar green snout and a pair of bloodshot eyes staring at him.

Flame: “Wait a minute, Gaius? How on earth did the nurses know to-?” O_O;

His heart jumped two meters in the air: Flame screamed a few pitches higher than he would ever willingly admit, reeled back far enough to crash into Alice's sleeping form, elbowed her snout, and pushed her off the bed, all in one movement. At the same instant a nurse carrying bags of equipment ran towards him, only to stop once she saw what the shouting was for.

Gaius: “Really, Flame?” >.<
Flame: "I was just a bit startled, okay! It doesn't mean anything!" >///<

Flame scrambled to sit up, a paw over his chest, blood rushing to his cheeks when he realised that other patients were staring at him with expressions nothing short of hateful. Behind him Alice was beginning to stir, likely taking notice that she was no longer on the sleeping mat.

His eyes, however, remained glued on the Grovyle, who reciprocated with an empty, vapid look.

"Gaius?" he murmured, doing his best to calm his quivering heart. "Wh-when did you get here? I thought…"

Flame: “I didn’t tell anyone about what happened in Boreal Chasm, I swear!” O.O;

Behind him Alice groaned, and he turned to find her rubbing her nose with her tail. "Uuugh, Flame, what on earth got into—wait, Gaius?"

She shot up as though suddenly doused with cold water, and gaped at the new arrival, fully awake.

The Grovyle said nothing, and Flame could not help but notice how pale he was. His normally red underside was tainted a sickly pink, while the rest of his body was not nearly green enough.

Flame: “Er… Gaius? Are you okay? Since you look kinda… terrible.” ._.
Gaius: “Well I feel terrible, so that’s not exactly surprising.” >_>;

"Talk to me, Gaius," he said softly. "What happened to you? What did they—"

Flame stopped that sentence mid-breath when he saw a thickly bandaged stump in place of Gaius' left paw. The other paw was only marginally better, with two blue-coloured digits where there once were three, and wrapped in a similar amount of bandages. Was that blood?

So... so close to being able to do a Gaius Mucius Scaevola reference there. But oh well, I suppose it's the wrong era thematically for that sort of valor for Urbe anyways.

Alice: "I understand your scream from earlier now, Flame." ._.
Flame: "Was Gaius always supposed to have three digits? I could've sworn that this was never-"
Alice: "Setting quirk, Flame. Kinda like Charizard's Dragon-Typing here. I guess you could think of it as being a regional variant."
Gaius: "Oh for crying out loud, you two woke me up and reminded me that I'm missing a paw for this? Let me go back to sleep already!" >.<

"Oh," Flame mumbled, suddenly unsure of what else to say.

Alice bit her lip as she took in the sight. "I'm sorry. I … we're just glad you're okay."

"Stop," Gaius said, averting his look from them. "You're not helping."

"… Sorry," Alice repeated, looking away as well.

Flame: “Look, we’re trying here, okay?” >_>;
Gaius: “Yeah, well maybe don’t if that’s the best you two can do.” >.<

And thus, an uncomfortable silence washed over the three. Flame shuffled away from Alice to allow her onto the sleeping mat. As he did so he kept the tail of his eye trained on Gaius, who was looking down at his hands remaining hand with a scowl etched on his face.

Doesn’t Gaius have a hand to work with at this point? Might as well play it up in the prose a bit.

Flame pretended to look elsewhere when Gaius noticed, but immediately felt stupid and childish for doing so. He felt worried for his teammate. Even if said teammate was in an understandably emotional state, would he not find a bit of comfort in knowing that someone cared?

youre_serious_futurama.gif


Pushed by that small hope, he shot another look at Gaius, who had returned to boring a hole into what remained of his hands. There was something about the look on his face that made Flame want to curl up and hide himself under the blanket out of shame. He felt…

It made no sense—this was an entirely different situation, no lives were currently in danger. And yet, for whatever reason, he felt the same twinge of helplessness that had gripped him inside the mystery dungeon, watching his friends wither before his very eyes. Perhaps that was the problem: this conviction that he somehow bore the duty to help everyone no matter the impossibility of such a feat.

Yeesh, whatever got Flame to develop this complex must’ve been quite something if he’s feeling this way about a ‘mon that’s almost gotten him killed at least on 4 separate occasions I can think of.

"We're here for you," he said, clenching his jaw as soon as the last word had formed. It sounded so empty, so meaningless.

Flame: “(Least of all because this guy tried to behead me less than a day ago, but let’s not talk about that right now…)” >_>;

Gaius watched him for a moment, then turned back. During that brief time, Flame was barely able to hold his nerve and not look away. Those eyes were tired, lifeless, much like when the cold had been about to overtake him. Some time passed in silence between the two. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead and upper lip.

"Why did you save me?" Gaius spoke with a flat voice, eyes dipping to his body.

Flame: “I… don’t like watching ‘mons suffer? And there were practical reasons to want to keep you alive, so…”
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Gaius: “Oh great, I feel so much better now. Not.” >_>;

Flame only blinked, taking a moment to replay the question through his head. A clenching sensation took hold of his stomach.

"I … I wanted to … it was the right thing to do," he said, blurting out words as they came to him. "You're my teammate. And even if you weren't, it doesn't matter. No one deserves to die like that."

For a moment he sustained his look, then he turned again, face made of stone. "I've done awful things to you. You should hate me. Why go through so much effort to keep me alive?"

Flame: “I… kinda just answered that a block ago?” ^^;
Gaius: “Yeah, well that answer’s not canon, so shut up and let me have my moment here.” >_>;

The possible implications of the question caused Flame's forehead to furrow. "What are you getting at?"

"I should have died back there," Gaius shook his head slowly, voice a dull whisper. "You should have left me to die. Would have been better than … this." he lifted his near clawless hands to stare at them.

Flame: "Uh... you'll get everything back after you evolve? Maybe?" ._.;
Gaius: "Flame, we live in a setting where a casual cut in the wrong place can kill you. Even if I would get my arm back how do you expect me to make it to evolution in a state like this?!"
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Flame remained quiet even as the implications in his leader's words became clear. Part of him empathised with Gaius, understood his emotional pain; yet another part couldn't help but interpret those words as a final slap in the face, that all the misery and pain he had gone through to save his leader's life hadn't even been worth a shred of gratitude.

I mean, not that I’d expect you to cut him slack given all the crap he’s put you through, but… yeah, Gaius isn’t in a good place right now, Flame. I don’t think he’s in the right frame of mind to be giving anyone gratitude right here and now.

"… Honestly? I do hate you," Flame said after some time. "You've done nothing but make my life more miserable. I don't think I'm ever going to forgive you for leaving me behind in Portus. Just like I don't think I'll ever get myself to like you."

Gaius: “C-Couldn’t this have waited until like a day after I woke up like this?”
401076862924750848.png

Flame: “Oi, you’re the one who was just insisting that I should’ve left you to die 30 seconds ago.” >_>;
Gaius: “Y-You’re not supposed to confirm those feelings! Didn’t anyone teach you how to comfort someone?” >.<

Gaius' face did not so much as twitch at his words. "Then why? You chose to carry me even if it meant you might not have made it out."

"Basically sums up our relationship," Flame muttered under his breath, running a palm over his forehead. "Look, there doesn't need to be a reason. Okay? You were about to die. Do you think I could just leave you there? I don't regret dragging you out of there, but if you're going to complain that you're still alive, then you can go bite yourself for all I care."

Alice: "To be fair, you were considering it for a moment, Flame."
Gaius: "... Way to make me feel better right now, Alice." >_>;

Even as a trace of spite entered his voice at the end, the Grovyle simply sat there and stared off into the distance, not a hint of emotion in his eyes apart from pure and simple tiredness fatigue.

"There's nothing left. No money. No job…" Gaius whispered, shoulders slumped at his side. "Everything we've done up until now was for nothing."

A heavy sigh left Flame's mouth, his head hanging as he mused at how quickly anger had left his system, replaced by a hollow morbidness. Those thoughts Gaius’ words were true. No matter how much he hated the Grovyle, neither of them could deny the reality of the situation.

"We can't give up, Gaius," Flame said, his words ringing hollow even to himself. "There has to be something we can hold onto. Something we can do…"

Alice: "Capri?"
Flame: "Capri."
Gaius: "Oh screw it, I'm in. I just hope the plot gives us a chance to run for it before Aesernia gets invaded or something."
Flame: "(He just jinxed us, didn't he?)" ._.;

The only response he obtained was the Grovyle collapsing on his pillow and staring up into nothingness. Frowning, Flame turned towards Alice, and found that she too carried a similar expression to his. He saw immediately that she was pondering the same thing. The two of them exchanged a worried glance, and for several seconds he loathed himself, loathed himself because he could not provide them with an answer, a promise that everything would be all right.

"We're still here. Together," Alice said quietly. "It has to count for something…"

Even as the tent became enveloped in quiet, Flame could only hope she was right.

Flame: “Yeesh, that’s certainly a grim note to end the chapter on-”
Gaius: “As… much as I’d like to just conk out and try to pretend I still have two hands again in my dreams, there’s kinda another scene left.” -_-;
Flame: Eh? Then what’s going on in it-?”

The following morning, Flame found himself thrust into a confusing scene. One moment everything had been a blur, his mind either shutting itself down in a bid to let time pass by, or wallowing in the guilt that came over him every time he looked in his teammates' eyes, one a feeling as irrational as it was strong. He ought to have resisted the cold, he told himself, not give in like a little Bulbasaur.

I still want to know the story of ‘My Greatest Failure’ from Flame’s pre-amnesiac life that I strongly suspect is causing Flame to have this reflexive tendency to self-blame whenever Pokémon he’s close to have bad things happen to them. Since if his first instinct is to think like this, it must’ve been a doozy.

As soon as he vacillated into the real world, however, it took him a few lethargic seconds of looking around to notice that something was profoundly wrong with the other pokémon in the tent. It was as if they had all frozen into statues. All but the most restless of patients lay stiff in their beds with their heads raised to see what was happening, while the medical staff encircled near the entrance, their eyes wide and their hushed whispers betraying someone's imminent arrival. When footsteps creaked from outside, there was a moment of restrained panic: the nurses stepped back from the entrance, ceased all sound, and straightened their backs, all in one motion; all eyes were glued to the entrance.

Then the tent's flap parted, and a mass of metallic purple stepped through, flanked by a considerably smaller Espeon.

As the creature spoke with the nurses in a synthesised voice, something stirred in Flame's mind. His subconscious swore that he'd seen this pokémon before. Obviously it was important, but he couldn't quite place his tongue on—

General Sycorax, he stiffened all of a sudden, remembering Alice's exact words. Highest officer in the Imperial Army.

Flame: “U-Um… Hi? I-I just want to say that if you’ve been hearing any funny stories about Charmeleon around Portus lately, those were just stories.”
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The Genesect stalked forward past the gawking nurses. It started sweeping the tent with its lifeless eyes, scanning each and every patient, before it finally settled on Team Phalanx.

Flame felt his heart beating faster than he'd ever thought possible. Was this about his ties to the Scum's leader? Had they found out? How could they have found out?

Now the general was approaching closer and closer and his mind rushed to piece together the situation. Gaius and Alice were the only ones who knew, and they'd been by his side this whole time. They couldn't have— … Or … could they? No, they would never just … sell him off like that. He refused to believe it.

And yet, the facts spoke for themselves: the Imperial Army's chief general now towered above their bed, and Flame could not bring himself to so much as breathe. Sycorax's attention shifted slowly in between the three. When its eyes passed over Alice, he could have sworn he saw it linger onto her for a brief moment, before it just as quickly began addressing them.

Sycorax: “...”
592603469265764372.png

Alice: “...” O_O;;
Flame: “... Not sure if I wanna know what’s going on between you two.
701630550720512120.png


"Recruits," Sycorax nodded at the cowering pokémon below. "Before I begin, I would like to apologise for this unscheduled visit, especially considering the unfortunate conditions which have brought you here. How are you feeling?"

Gaius: "'Recruits'? I'm missing a paw! In what world am I fit for service right now?!"
Flame: "I... don't think that he's terribly concerned about that, Gaius." ._.
Alice: “(Can you two at least try to talk under your breaths?!) A-Anyhow, to answer the question…” ._.;

"W-well. We are recovering well," Alice stammered.

"Y-yeah," Flame said, a sudden tightness in his throat.

"I am most happy to hear that," the Genesect said, though its face conveyed nothing of the sort. "Your conditions were looking were dire when my team found you."

Oh how different this story would’ve played out if Sycorax had had the foresight to squirrel Team Phalanx away into protective custody right when he found them. Guess that’s what happens when you dismiss those nagging suspicions you have.

"You brought us here?" the question escaped his mouth before he mentally kicked himself. He was in no position to speak so casually with the general!

Thankfully, said general did not seem to pay the small show of disrespect any mind. "Indeed. We found you not far from Route 165, approximately six kilometres from Aesernia. I admire your tenacity—not only did you escape, but you managed to traverse such a considerable distance in the span of a single day."

[ ]

You probably want to drop in some reaction from Team Phalanx there, since… yeah, this is a reveal that everyone would be taken aback by and sweating bullets over how on earth they would begin to explain that when literally no one has any clue as to how that could’ve happened.

Sycorax: “It’s a remarkable feat really. One that I’m sure there’s quite the saga behind. Would you care to enlighten me as to how you three managed that in your state?”
Team Phalanx: “...”
401074476474957834.png

Alice: “Er… well…”
701630550720512120.png


"It … it wasn't easy, sir," Alice said, ripping her gaze away from the speaker.

Flame shot a glance at her, and saw that her expression carried a hint of something strange—an emotion he couldn't place his tongue on. Shame? Regret?

Familiarity. Uncomfortable familiarity.

The Genesect rose even straighter than before, crossing its arms behind its back. "Normally, I would dare not ask such questions after what you must have had to endure—especially so soon after the fact. However, you are among the only survivors of the Portus expedition. I need you to tell me everything that happened."

Team Phalanx: “...”
401074476474957834.png

Sycorax: “... I can wait, I’m a patient soldier.” >:|

Team Phalanx exchanged looks, all telling the same story, asking the same questions. Whether the full story should ever be told with [ ]

When Gaius turned to meet Sycorax with a stare and took a deep breath, Flame sent shot the Grovyle one last, pleading look.

Your first paragraph in this block appears to be missing some words. Looks like it got cut off by accident at some point.

Flame: “(Oh god, my life’s now in the hands of Gaius right now.)”
401074476474957834.png


"It all started when we were searching for survivors in the city," Gaius began. "I can't say exactly when, but suddenly we found ourselves in the middle of the biggest portal storm I've seen in my life. We … we almost didn't make it out, sir."

A lull followed as Gaius attempted to glue together the right words. Flame felt the entire tent's eyes on them, a fact that did little to help his rising heartbeat.

"Take all the time you need," Sycorax nodded." I understand if the recollection of the recalling these events proves is distressing for you."

Flame: “(Oh thank goodness, he didn’t just jump right to talking about the Duskn-)”
Gaius: “(Ame-flay! Ix-nay e-thay usknoir-Day alk-tay!)” >_>;

"W-we first encountered a small group of Scum in the city outskirts. It seemed that they were waiting for us, expecting us to run back in that direction. I … guess that should have rung an alarm bell, but the storm was right behind us. No time to think. We linked up with friendly forces and they airlifted us back to the camp, and that was when…" Gaius trailed off, shifting uncomfortably under the blanket.

Flame only just noticed he'd been holding a breath. A few heartbeats of silence followed before the sheer pressure of where the story was headed drove him to take control of the situation before Gaius could continue any further.

"It was a slaughter. S-sir," Flame interjected, part of him instantly regretting this decision. "Too many of them. Our defensive lines broke. There was nothing we could do. I'm not sure how many got out with us."

Gaius: “(Flame! You idiot! I had it under control there!)” >.<
Flame: “(Under control, my ass. I’m handling the sensitive parts of the story, thanks.)” >_>;
Sycorax: “What are you two going on about again?”
Gaius: “Er… just trying to think of some very diplomatic ways of trying to lodge some complaints about the observed tactics at Camp Horizon?”
Sycorax: “You mean the tactics that I signed off on?” >:|
Gaius: “(Oh gods, that was his idea?) Er… N-No? I-I mean s-surely there was some miscommunication at lower levels and-”
401076862924750848.png

Flame: “And we don’t need to get into the topic right here and now! I was just continuing my story!”
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Sycorax could only nod grimly. "I see. So far, the total stands at fourteen survivors—however you are the first to not have wings. How exactly did you escape? The encampment was built as to only have one way up or down."

"We ran. Down the access path. And … and then we found a mystery dungeon," he said quickly in hopes of brushing off the subject matter from their collective minds.

Flame: “Oh, well that confirms Livia’s fate, I guess.”
401083507872366598.png

Alice: “Oh, what a relie- I mean tragedy. Truly sad and heartbreaking.” ;_;
Gaius: “... (Alice, can you make it any more obvious that you’re acting forced right now?)” >_>;

Just when Flame was starting to release the pressure exploding inside of him, the Espeon standing wordlessly at the general's side seemed to perk to life, pawing its leg and muttering something to its ear once it bent down to listen.

"My aide tells me you may be hiding something," Sycorax said, staring straight at Flame. "Is that true?"

Flame: “... He can tell that?” O_O;;
Espeon: “I’m Psychic, kid. Literally. Now come on, out with it.” >:|

In that very moment, had he not been in front of a tent worth of pokémon, not to mention the leader of the Imperial forces, Flame would have screamed. Instead, his claws tightened into fists and his back became stiff as a plank. One sentence. One Arceus-damned sentence, and he would have been in the clear. Of course he would manage to mess up that one, simple sentence.

I mean, I’m pretty sure that Espeon is just casually snooping in on your mind and realizing that you’re screaming internally, but yeah. Kinda sucks to get cockblocked at the last moment like that. ^^;

"Huh? W-well, no! Or … sort of. It's…" Flame mumbled in quick succession, his mind scrambling to pick up the pieces. "It's just a theory of mine, sir, I—I wouldn't want to sp-speculate, or, or give false intel…"

"Even a tiny detail can be instrumental in turning this war around. Do not be afraid, Charmeleon. Tell me."

Flame: “...”
401074476474957834.png

Espeon: “If you’re that tongue-tied, kid, you do know that I can just use my abilities to pop in and take a look at your memories!” :|
Flame: “W-What?! No! That’s not needed! I can do this myself!”
- The Espeon side-eyes Flame and then over at Alice -
Espeon: “Ah, right. Personal thoughts between you and Miss Dragonair over there. Don’t blame you for wanting to keep your more immodest thoughts to yourself.”
- Flame and Alice look mortified -
Alice: “I-Immodest?” >///<
Flame: “That’s not at all what I-!” >///<
Espeon: “Sure it wasn’t…”
592603469265764372.png

Sycorax: “Ahem, I believe you had an account you were telling me?”
Flame: “Er… right, well you see, the thing is…” o_o;

"They had a leader, sir." Gaius said suddenly, causing even Flame to turn. "We saw them take orders from someone. A Dusknoir. They even bowed to him."

Flame: “... (G-Gaius?! We can talk this out!)”
401074476474957834.png

Gaius: “(Flame, seriously, shut up and stop digging that hole of yours already!)” >_>;

Flame was left there speechless, the explanation he'd glued together in a few heartbeats dying in his throat. His leader had had ample opportunity to ship him off to prison, suspicious as he was after the episode with the Scum leader. And yet, he'd stopped just short of mentioning what had truly happened that day.

Flame: “(I’m pretty sure that’d result in a little bit more than just shipping me off to prison, but I shouldn’t think too hard about that since I’m pretty sure I’m completely screwed if I do something like keel over from stress right about now.)”
401074476474957834.png


Sycorax leaned closer in palpable attention. "The others reported nothing of the sort. What did you observe about this creature?"

Boy does this read differently after some events about ten chapters down the pipe.

Gaius visibly held back a grimace, but remained upright. "It was only for a short time. Near the end of our escape. He, or it, ordered the nearby Scum to attack us, which forced us to enter the mystery dungeon for safety."

Sycorax said nothing as it stood contemplating with its head up high and its arms crossed behind its back.

"The discovery of a central leadership, if confirmed, could be decisive in understanding the barbarian tribes," the general said. "For the moment, though, it adds an unforeseen variable to the position we find ourselves in."

Flame sought Gaius' eyes, perhaps asking for an explanation, perhaps in gratefulness gratitude, but the Grovyle paid him no heed.

Flame: "(Gaius? What are you-?)"
Gaius: "(Oi! Keep your trap shut in front of the big army bug and play along, alright!)"

Its musings over, the Genesect lowered its eyes to properly gaze down at them. "That will be all. Thank you for your collaboration. It has proved most enlightening. I wish you a rapid recovery, so that you may return to the field of battle."

For a moment, a flickering moment, Alice looked like a child staring down an angry parent. She did not watch the Genesect as it turned to leave. He realised in that moment that she had refused to look at it for the majority of their conversation.

Flame: “(Alice? Are you alright? What’s going on between you two?)” ._.;
Alice: “(... Nothing. Sycorax just has… an overbearing presence and it was weighing on me a bit.)”
Flame: “(I don’t buy that’s the full story but you’re not wrong. I think I burned a hole in my stomach during that whole interrogation!)” >_>;


"From this moment on, in light of the demise of Task Force Aegis, you will be integrated in the Imperial Army as part of the VII Legion. Your new commanding officer will be here to meet you once you are discharged. Esto perpetua."

And then, in a single, collected step, Sycorax exited the tent.

Alice: "Just how bad are things if we're considered able-bodied recruits for the Imperial Army right now?" ._.
Flame: "Well hey, at least we can still make it to Capri after we recover, right-?"
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Gaius: "Flame, the army kills deserters." >.<
- Flame blanch -
Flame: "... Alright, we'll need to spend some time thinking this one through."
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Though while the gang’s at it, let’s take a look at the next teaser, huh?

"... In their complacency, the Primeval Lords allowed themselves to become inert; in their inertia, they allowed us mortals to grow decadent. Even as the plague of ignorance spread unabated, even as pokémon reverted to their primal states to fight pointless squabbles, even as our Republic grew selfish and corrupt—the Lords did not act.

Content in their place on the Celestial Throne, they neglected the very creatures they had sworn to guide. Alas, even in their final moments they were too blinded by their own hubris to foresee the coming of Our Benefactors, and the cleansing fire that would spell their doom.

The world was saved that day. Rejoice; for you are now on the path to Ascension."
Excerpt from the book "Our Benefactors", written by Royal Scribe Eli Kadabra.

Reminder to s / ‘Eli’ / ‘Antoninus’ where appropriate.

Flame: "I'm sorry, but this was just lying around in the middle of a public library? How on earth is these 'Benefactors' having killed off Urbe's original gods not common knowledge if that's the case?"
Gaius: "'Mons just don't want to believe it? I mean, you've gotta admit that if you went out and read that passage on a street corner, you'd probably get looked at like you were crazy."
Flame: "But it was in the same place as history texts and Virgo's porn mags for anyone to look at. This is like publicly announcing that you're going to do something and then turning around and calling someone a conspiracy theorist when they call you out!"
Alice: "(That... actually happens, though.) A-And besides, maybe it's just the writings of some kook or philosopher with a chip on his shoulder against the gods. There's plenty of those in this subgenre!"
Flame: "Kooks and philosophers that just so happen to line up with letters from centuries ago that we found?"
Gaius: "Yeah, even I can see that you're reaching there,
Alice." Alice: "I... I..."
- Alice shake head -
Alice: "L-Let's just get some rest. None of us are exactly in good condition right now, and we don’t need to worry about this on top of it all..."

Alright, for my overall thoughts of the chapter:

It’s a bit of a transitional installment, but considering how brutal the story was to Team Phalanx over the last three chapters, they… kinda really needed the break there.
701630550720512120.png


Well, mostly. Given that the chapter ends on the note of yeeting them straight into the Imperial Army, and that’s certainly going to be quite the saga for the gang. I’d say that the main strength of the chapter is that it shows off the team licking their wounds and trying to make sense of their world as they knew it coming apart around them, which gives a glimpse at who everyone is, as well as planting the first seeds for some much-needed character evolutions, especially from Gaius’ end.

As for things that I was less fond of… maybe more could’ve happened action-wise? But honestly, beyond the quibbles I found while running through, I was fairly content with the chapter and what happened in it. And it definitely leaves a hook for the audience to come back for more.

Kudos on the hard work @Shadow of Antioch , and I’ll be looking forward to keeping pace with your story here as it catches up with your other versions. ^^
 
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Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Hi Shadow, dropping by with another review. This time I'm covering 4-6.

This chapter definitely felt like an exposition/worldbuilding chapter. The next one did as well, to a lesser extent. This chapter is the one where we learn more about the current state of the world, while the next deals more with how that directly affects our main characters. I do think that, by setting this chapter in a library, it helped deal with the issue of an out of place info dump. And we get some basic questions answered.

Also. Flame. Don’t be gross with an encyclopedia of all things. Flame. Stop.

Moving on… chapter 5 felt like a soft gut punch. Like. Just the concept of Flame and the others having to eat garbage to get by. And then, on top of that, him running into an obviously drunk Gaius at the bar and getting into an altercation. I do hope that Gaius gets called on that later, when he’s sober, because for someone that’s been complaining about the team’s money problems he isn’t being very fair to the team. At least offer to share, my man!

At the same time, this is another one of those worldbuilding details that helps sell your vibe. There’s not really any social safety nets to catch people that are struggling. Maybe there’s some places where you can go and beg and get a little food if you’re lucky. But if you starve, you starve, and the empire isn’t going to do anything about that. (And probably doesn’t particularly care, either, if the town from chapter 6 is anything to go by)

As for chapter 6, I found the town’s reactions painfully believable. And I can’t blame them for their anger. I mean, I’m sure some of the civics want to help out and make things better for people, but I bet there’s just as many that are just in it for the money. And others that are just trying to make a living and don’t care too much how they do it. I mean, we just established the fact that Gaius robs people on occasion, and from the sound of things has gotten away with it for a while. I wonder how long it’ll take before that comes back to bite him?

In case I don't get around to another review before the end of the blitz, here's just a few general thoughts of the story so far, overall:

Plot wise, this had so far felt like it has a very standard plot structure overall, albeit with a few hiccups here and there. The protagonist wakes up with amnesia, meets the Pokemon that they'll be forming a rescue-team equivalent with, and goes on their first dungeon excursion. Then they meet some more experienced team members. There's a little bit of deviance in that there is a notable number of townies that have issue with the peace-keepers, so I wonder if things will be diverging from the norm soon?

Now, where this deviates from the usual is *world building*. As I mentioned in my previous review, you've done a great job of setting up a world that feels like dark fantasy, and that vibe has continued into these chapters. Some of the things are relatively minor, like the taverns and being drunk being treated as a problem instead of just existing, while others are much more obvious. The most notable example is the blatant display of slavery in the Ariel pov scene (hey, great way to tank my feelings about her in 500 words or less 8P)

I don't want to harp on your prose much because this is older work, but I did want to point out that I noticed a few instances of "weak" adverbs. An example below.



In this case, a smile generally already conveys a positive feeling, so adverbs affirming that just feels redundant. (I could make an argument for including gently since it describes how the smile spread, but a smile is usually already joyful.) Where as if it was, say, an angry or sad smile, then an adverb affirming that anger/sadness would be more useful.

As a final thought… I have absolutely no clue where things are going to go next. I imagine we’re about to get our first actual view of the “Scum.” I gotta wonder how that’s going to work out, and if things are going to be as black and white as is being presented so far. (I highly doubt it)

Overall, I am curious to see what happens next. It doesn’t feel like much happened in this chunk, and the story definitely feels slow burn, but I imagine once things start picking up, they’re *definitely* start picking up. Until next time.

Late reply, but thank you so much for your kind words!

I'm glad you're able to enjoy yourself, especially with all the rough writing that comes with the early parts of the story. I do apologise for taking a while to get to the main plot, but it does reassure me that I did a good job the world- and character-building if I managed to keep people's attention for this long without a clear plot direction xD

Poverty is a big theme that I've always been fascinated by, so I really wanted to portray them in some way here. All the struggle will make the happy moments even more impactful--or at least, that's the theory. Thanks again!
 
Chapter XVII: Sperantia

Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
Partners
  1. charmeleon
Chapter XVII: Sperantia


"While searching through the Imperial Archives, I have made a ghastly discovery. It would appear that for the last one hundred and forty years, approximately 30% of the Empire's grain produce, as well as approximately 20% of our wartime slaves have disappeared from official records completely. All of these disappearances seem to coincide with unmarked cargo ships departing to the Lipari Archipelago.

Hadrianus refuses to discuss the issue and pushes me away. I had always suspected that he cared for these 'gods' of his more than his own people, but this discovery is something else entirely. How much food have They taken away from our starving citizens over all these years? How many famines avoided? Do gods need to eat?"


Private letter from Marius Alakazam, Governor of Urbe, to Ioannes Serperior, Governor of Basileia.


Route 165—5 km north of Aesernia

"Double time it, Jigglypuffs!" the Captain's crimson pincer accused a group of pokémon below. "The Scum aren't going to wait for you to finish digging!"

As Flame stepped onto one the many wooden platforms used to bridge one side of the trench to the other, backpack heavy against his spine, he became glad to be up here. One downward glance revealed legionaries smeared in mud, clawing dirt away and spitting some out every so often, bodies barely able to stand or kneel without rubbing against a wall or each other as they kept digging deeper and longer.

At once, Flame felt nauseatingly clean, and hurried his step back onto the sparse grassland, now in sight of one of the more recently complete trenches, home to this sector's supply storage. The crushing weight on his back—how many bags had he carried today? Eight?—made him suffer in silence for every step. It didn't help that just then, a meager Breloom was passing by him bearing an even larger backpack than him with little effort.

Oh, if I didn't know this was food, the things I would have told the Captain… he thought, squinting and gritting his teeth as he dragged himself forward.

He descended the short staircase leading down into the trench, taking one careful step after another, and finally sunk his feet into the mud. The feeling of the sloshing liquid reaching up to his ankles disgusted him. Briefly, he wondered if his friends were having more luck than he was today.

We've done so much preparing for this… he mused, a smile stretching his cheeks. I don't think it's possible to account for anything else. It's all a matter of waiting, now.

He tried not to think of the filth sloshing around his toes as he rounded the corner into the small area reserved for supply storage. It was a fairly narrow trench, barely able to accommodate him without his shoulders rubbing against the wall. Not only that, it was also well hidden from sight: the few soldiers that were out and about did not seem to realise this corridor existed. They were details Flame had paid special attention to over his many trips.

Another such detail was the backpack weighing on his shoulders. He had already felt it carefully when it was still on the supply carriage, and knew from the consistency that whatever he was carrying, it was definitely meant to be eaten. Sliding the heavy sack down from his shoulders, Flame dropped it into the nearest crate, yet he did not grant himself the time to bask in physical relief. This might have been his first opportunity of the day, as well as his last. A quick turn of the head confirmed that nobody had followed him in. He didn't recall seeing any other backpackers besides that Breelom, but he was not about to entrust his safety to mere chance.

His heart rate rising, he knelt onto the soft mud, loosened the sack's mouth, and quickly wrapped his claws around the closest thing to the top, bringing it up for inspection. When he saw what it was, his grin widened: a slab of salted meat, its colour closer to dirt than to his scales, thick and grainy to the touch.

Bingo.

Flame could have sworn his claws had started shaking. It felt as though someone was watching him, yet when he turned to look, nothing had changed. He reached down to the bag slung around his shoulder and briefly fiddled with the opening; was this how they felt, too? Was this the risk they went through so that his escape plan would come to fruition? At once, he got the cursed bag to open, and half-threw the salted meat inside. It was followed by another slab, then a third, and though he still had plenty of space, Flame froze his trembling paw just above the sack.

No, I can't risk any more. It'll take too long. I need—I need to go.

Adjusting his bag tighter, he jumped to his feet and he spun around to leave; good, no one had seen him. Overcome with relief, he took his first step forward.

"You are such a nervous wreck, you know that?" spoke a feminine voice from above.

In all of an instant, Flame froze in place. His heart skipped a beat, and a cold sense of dread clamped down on his stomach. Slowly, he turned his head around and gazed up at the trench's edge, fear clogging his throat, only to lay his eyes upon a familiar Dragonair looking down at him with a wry smile spread across her cheeks.

At the sight of her, Flame let out a heavy sigh, and in that one action he felt the charge of tension in his body exit him just as quickly as it had swelled.

"Oh, thank the gods, it's you," he wheezed, clutching his chest with a paw. "For a moment, I thought…"

She chuckled lightly, though her smile turned sheepish. "I'm sorry. I should have waited for you at the stairs. Remember, though, I could have been anyone."

"… Yeah," Flame rubbed his forearm in circles. "I'm not very good at this."

"All is forgiven," she said, shooting a look behind her. "Care to come up here for a moment?"

The simple mention of that caused him to smile. "Of course. Stay right there."

In a few seconds he was trodding back through the main trench line, before he took another turn and hopped onto the wooden staircase lifting him up to ground level. He was tired, but rest would have to wait.

Sure enough, she was by the trench's edge, and greeted his arrival with a soft, brief snicker. Seeing his confused expression, she pointed her tail at his lower body; he then saw that other than his feet being coated in mud, there were two circular patches around his kneecaps.

"Yeah," he chuckled, smiling at that himself. "I know. Be glad they didn't order me to dig another trench."

"Gods know that would end poorly for me," Alice said with a wide grin. "I would probably just sink into the ground after a few minutes."

The two of them regarded each other in relative silence, listening to the grunts of legionaries and the Captain's ferrous voice shouting orders, though their eyes looked nowhere near that direction.

It was Flame that unwordingly broke the silence, sending a quick glance toward the direction of the bridge over which the other sacks were waiting for him.

Alice followed his gaze and seemed to grasp at his thoughts. "If you need to go somewhere, we can talk on the way there."

The same smile still stuck on his face, Flame nodded. "I'd like that."

The two of them began walking away from the trench lines and across the small grassland leading to the bridge, whose features they could lightly make out behind the surrounding foliage.

"So, did Gaius…?" Flame began.

"Yes," she followed, her voice a joyful whisper. "Everything was still there. Money, seeds—even a Luminous Orb I didn't know we had. The berries were obviously rotting by now, but they're hardly the most challenging thing to find out in the wilderness."

Though his large smile remained unvaried, Flame felt his heart beam heat all throughout his chest.

"Good. Seeing what they're making us do, all … all of this," he said, observing the ebb and flow of legionaries showered in mud or carrying heavy supply sacks. "It doesn't make me want to stick around for much longer."

As soon as he said that, the sudden awareness of being in a public setting jumped to mind; he looked around, but thankfully, none of the passing legionaries seemed to be within earshot of them. He reminded himself to talk in vaguer terms about their intentions from now on.

Alice, on the other hand, gave him a simple nod. "It's not much, but … every bit helps. How about you?"

"My luck hasn't been the best," he shrugged as they trudged by a group of ground-types covered in earth. "What you saw back there? That's all I could manage for today. Still better than nothing, I suppose. You?"

"Oh, just a few bits and pieces," she said as her gaze wandered off into towards the nearing bridge. "The Captain doesn't let us wander too far away from him. We are his official bodyguards. In fact, I'm supposed to be guarding this whole operation along with the rest of my squad."

Flame could not help but let out a small laugh, rolling his eyes. "Oh, this makes me feel so much safer—knowing that if the Scum attack, you'll be here talking to me…"

"Try spending another hour near those stuck-ups and tell me how that goes for you," Alice smirked playfully. "Oh, I didn't tell you this, but Virgo and … what's she called, the girl? Yvaine? They're part of my squad too."

As they passed by a puffy bush full of claw-sized leaves, he deviated a bit from his straight path and attempted to rub his foot and knee on it, smearing the bush with mud but failing to accomplish much else in aesthetic terms.

"Damn," he sneered as he inspected his lower body. "It literally rained a few hours ago. How can he ask us to dig all this while the ground's still wet?"

"I suppose the Captain wanted to dig these trenches while the ground was softer. It doesn't matter, though. Soon, none of this will."

A steady, thundering noise came from below the ground, and as they surpassed the barrier of shrubbery and stepped onto the bridge, its source became clear: an immense expanse of water tens of metres below the wooden boards. Endless waves crashed and gurgled against the disparate rocks jutting out of its surface, briefly channelled into little canales by the bridge's supporting stone piers, before mixing back together immediately thereafter as if nothing had ever impeded their path.

Despite this colossal movement, if Flame concentrated on any one spot in the water for some time, he noticed, the river would appear completely still.

"Wait, don't tell me," he silenced Alice with a paw before she could speak. "This is the Iapetus river, isn't it? I remember it on the map since it was so close to Aesernia. I imagined it would be a little … larger."

Alice turned to regard him with a gleam of interest as they walked along the bridge. "I see those few lessons we had served a purpose. Indeed, it flows into the Tiberis river a little ways from here, and that one flows right into Urbe itself. We're not too far from the heart of the Empire. To think the Scum are closing in…"

"Heh, Urbe," Flame chuckled as he stared at nowhere in particular, picturing the shining temples and cityscape from the history book. "That's one place we won't be headed towards."

"Yeah," Alice looked off to the side as well, her smile vanishing briefly. "You won't need to convince me."

He looked at her and frowned, as if to apologise for bringing the subject up. In return, she simply shook her head and looked forward.

The two of them stepped off the bridge's last stretch without further word, trudging on past a group of legionaries setting up various tents, both their gazes stolen by the sight of catapults being lined up atop a distant hill, their outlines visible against the murky horizon. It had to have been midday, Flame thought—if so, where was the sunlight? He threw a few glances up at the carpet of clouds overhead, yet failed to locate the sun's position behind them. So long as it didn't start raining, though, he wouldn't pay that much heed.

The supply carts now in front of them, the duo stopped at the back of a small crowd of backpackers scuffling to take their umpteenth load for the day.

"Hey, Flame," Alice interrupted the silence, her eyes cast downwards. "Before we go back to our posts, I just wanted to … thank you. And say I'm sorry. While I was busy whining about my fears, you actually came up with a solution. I … I should have known better."

Flame did not know what to say; a warm, fuzzy feeling wrapped his chest, and a large, sheepish grin was stuck on his face.

"I remember you saying I was the one who apologised too much," he muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Smartass," Alice laughed, and rolled her eyes theatrically. "Again, though, thank you. For everything you've done for us. It feels strange to say this, but we wouldn't have gotten this far without you."

Neither of them had time to continue the conversation, though, for a screeching voice erupted from behind them and caused both of them to jerk to attention.

"SOLDIERS! What do you think this is, farm work?!"

Flame spun around to look behind him, and indeed, there was their Captain, his pincer wordlessly accusing him of something heinous. It took Flame no more than two seconds for him to salute his superior, hastily place a rucksack on his shoulders and half-sprint his first few steps, all while Alice did the closest thing she could to sprinting and hurried over in the complete opposite direction.

"Just because Sycorax said to keep an eye out for you doesn't make you special!" the Scizor yelled behind him. "You are my slaves! If I see you disobeying orders again, you will dig those trenches, with or without arms!"

Flame groaned inwardly as his previous fatigue started to resurface, and he knew this was going to rank among the slowest days in his life.


Camp Tempest

The sun's celestial arc, now mostly cleared of clouds, was beginning to wane by the time Flame found the tent his teammates, Virgo, and Yvaine were sharing. His stomach found it necessary to remind him that it was almost time to head to the mess hall, but what awaited in that tent was far more important to him than prolonging his hunger by a bit.

With a deep breath, his bag pressing against his thigh, he parted the tent's entrance and let the feeble sunlight flood its interior, only to be replaced by his tail fire as he entered. The moment he did so, two heads jerked towards him from their respective sleeping mats: Gaius had his good hand submerged in his own bag, while Alice was coiled up on herself, her head raised to meet Flame's look. He couldn't help but notice that she was still wearing his crimson scarf. Despite having a few rips, it contrasted quite nicely with her scales.

"About time," Gaius muttered, extracting his hand and letting it rest upon his knee. "What took you so long?"

Flame offered them a sheepish shrug, sitting down atop his own sleeping mat just a few metres from them and letting his bag slide down from his shoulder.

"The convoy that took us back to town got stuck in the mud. And I had to push my cart out along with everyone else. It was … ugh," he stretched his face in disgust, looking down at his legs. "At least we had that water turtle or whatever to wash us off."

"Doesn't matter. Now that you're here, we can go over our current food situation. I guess I'll start," Gaius said as he widened his bag with the aid of both his stump and two-clawed hand.

"Most of what I have comes from the stash I dug up from under our old tent. Well, that, and from the poor bastard who lives there now," he emitted a few, sly chuckles as he rummaged along. "One Luminous Orb, a few sleep and healing seeds, and even a blast seed. There's maps of this province and of the whole Empire, plus our old compass. As far as food goes, I don't have much. A few dozen berries to replace the ones that were rotting, but that's about it."

Gaius finished his sentence by gazing expectantly at the two of them.

Seeing Flame staring at her, Alice gave them a tacit nod.

"I was able to collect quite a few meals from the mess hall. Let's see…" she lifted her bag's lid and widened its opening to peer inside. "Five loaves of bread, nine oran and pecha berries, and an extra water canteen in addition to our standard issue one." seeing their perplexed stares, Alice blinked and looked off to the side. "I, um, nabbed it off of someone's table. They looked pretty drunk, so I doubt they noticed."

She resumed digging further into the bag, visibly moving some objects aside with her tail, leaning her head closer. "Oh, right—I almost forgot about this!"

A smile wide on her face, she took her tail out and dangled a head-sized ball of blue cloth that quickly unravelled into a full-length blanket. Its surface was wrinkled, with some spots showing repeated stitching.

"Why anybody would throw this away is beyond me, but either way, it's ours now. The rain seems to have washed it pretty well," she looked at Flame, only for some of her enthusiasm to retreat. "I … I know it's not enough for all three of us, but I doubt you of all pokémon would find a need for it."

Flame could not help but smile at her thoughtfulness, shrugging his shoulders. "So long as we're not stuck in another ice cave, my body will do just fine."

"Oh, trust me, you're going to hate us come winter," she said with a playful tone. "You and that fire of yours can start kissing personal space goodbye. Although, now that I think about it, we could settle somewhere warmer…"

"Priorities, Alice," Gaius said between grit teeth, running a palm along his forehead. "First, we finish counting our supplies. Flame? What do you have?"

"Um, right. G-give me a second…" he stammered as he rummaged through his bag to ensure everything was still there. "Most of what I stole consists of medical supplies—bandages, flasks of Venusaur disinfectant, and berries I don't know the name of. Then there's a couple of potatoes, three slabs of salted meat, and … that's about it, really."

Flame bit his lip, and lifted his eyes from the bag. His words had left a heavy silence hanging in the tent. For what felt like entire minutes, Flame found that he could not look them in the eye.

"Is that really all we have?" mumbled Gaius out loud, his head bent upward at the tent's ceiling, his eyes staring off into oblivion.

"It might not be impressive," Alice rebutted, eyes darting left and right, "but … it's essentially as much, if not more equipment than we've owned at any other point in our lives. I'd say it counts for something."

Gaius brought his head down and spread his hand across his face, shaking his head vigorously. "No, no, that's not what I'm saying. As far as equipment goes, we might as well leave right now. We've got three different maps and a compass to guide us, plus all those items in case we need to…" his face contorted briefly, squeezing his eyes shut, "g-go through a mystery dungeon. Mew, I hope I never have to see those places again…"

Gaius recomposed himself, and met his teammates' looks with one of his own. "But food wise? What we have right now won't last us four days. That's if we ration it with care."

Flame and Alice shared an anxious look as their teammate finished speaking, as if trying to reinforce each other's resolve. At least, that was what he felt, looking into her orbs, trying to dig up any argument that would unravel the plan that had become their shining beacon of hope.

"D-do you remember what we did in Portus?" Flame started, eyes wandering about the tent, his claws wringing each other in combat. "Even though we had no food, we managed to find something by hunting and fishing for all those hours. I'm, I'm not saying we'll be able to do that anywhere, but … it can keep us going."

Gaius emitted a sigh, and hugged his knees with his mutilated arms. "I know that. You have to remember, though, winter's just around the corner. Getting food that way won't be easy when everything will be covered in snow a month or two from now."

"All of us are scared," spoke Alice, her voice quiet and her eyes seeking the Grovyle's. "But we don't have the luxury of time on our side. You've seen what kind of defences they're making us prepare, what kind of battle they're expecting. If we don't execute our plan soon, we might never get a chance."

Flame scooted closer to Gaius' bed and settled a paw on his shoulder. It felt strange for him to comfort the same pokémon who until a few days before he would have gladly hit in the face. The Grovyle did not look at him, yet Flame thought he spotted a tiny, near indiscernible smile sprout on his face.

Lifting his eyes from their bags, Gaius let out another sigh, and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever. Can't say I'm happy, but it'll have to do. So what, we really just get up and leave tomorrow?"

Alice responded with an uncannily silent stare. "I'm not sure. As I said before, the earlier we decide to enact our plan, the better our chances."

"Escaping is the easy part, though," Flame bit his lip, scooting to the side along with his sleeping mat so he sat in between the two of them. "We still haven't decided on which direction we should head towards. What's more important, we need a long-term goal."

Alice shifted her head to him, nodding absentmindedly. "You're right. I've thought a lot about where we might seek refuge, but my mind is still unclear. Sharing my thoughts with you two should definitely help us reach a decision."

Her eyes migrated to their former leader. "Gaius, the maps, if you would be so kind…"

"Sure thing, your majesty," Gaius huffed beneath his breath.

Flame couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Alice become rigid for a tiny second, her gaze flying away as if caught by a sudden memory. Then, within mere seconds, she solidified her stance and returned to her quasi-permanent smile as Gaius extracted a roll of paper and unfurled it on the grass floor.

All three members of Team Phalanx leaned in to get a closer look. Flame recognised the map's shape from those times Alice had brought him to the library; the rugged landmass enclosed by the sea on all but one side, with more or less small islands littering the southern coastline, while a tall mountain range, acting as a natural barrier of sorts, ran along the peninsula's only land border. Gaius held the map's edges as Alice traced elegant drawings along the paper with her eyes, humming loudly as she did so.

"There's a lot of ground to cover, so firstly, I shall go by elimination," she decided, briefly scanning their faces and reading only agreement.

Flame thought she looked majestic, concentrating as she was. He didn't know where that thought originated.

"We," Alice tapped the round dot marked as 'Aesernia' with the tip of her tail, "are here. We can't go north, because that's where the Scum are. Similarly, heading too far south means entering Urbe province, which is tantamount to suicide."

"Seriously?" Gaius asked, gesturing with his good hand. "You're basically throwing away a good half of the Empire in one sentence. Couldn't we … hell, I don't know, walk around it?"

"Where would we go?" Alice rebutted, using her tail to draw a circle around the area beneath the capital. "The whole southern coastline is dotted with large cities firmly under imperial control. Caesarea, Tarsus, Sidon—there must be tens of thousands of soldiers garrisoning each of them. I'm sorry, but I can't see any refuge here that might be worth the risk."

"I'd say not dying from cold is a good enough reason to risk it. Do you know how much snow falls in the south? None!"

As the two bickered further, Flame's attention was caught by a small cluster of islands located some distance below the main landmass. In total, they must have amounted to five or six, with no visible inscription except for the tiny letters reading 'Lipari' atop the centremost isle.

Getting there would involve finding a boat willing to take us there, and we'd be dangerously close to all those places Alice mentioned. Still, might as well throw the idea out there.

Apart from that, the prospect of living somewhere sunny and by the sea was one he did not mind in the slightest.

"How about these islands here?" Flame pointed with his claw, keeping his head raised to gauge their reaction. "They don't look too inhabited."

Alice and Gaius stopped their bickering to gape at him as if he had grown a third arm.

"Wh-what?" Flame muttered, swallowing his sudden insecurity. "There has to be a village or something there. …Right?"

Alice blinked a few times, and met his confused expression with an apologetic nod. "I'm sorry, Flame. For a moment I forgot you had amnesia. Accessing those islands is impossible—it's been that way for over two centuries. The Imperial Navy has declared the area an exclusion zone, and intercepts any boat or flyer attempting go near it."

Incredulity hijacked Flame's expression. "An exclusion zone? What for?"

Alice visibly hesitated, her eyes flying about his face. "It's… a complicated story. Not even I know the full answer. Essentially, approximately two hundred and forty-five years ago, these… creatures appeared on those very same islands. The Crown calls them our 'Benefactors', claiming they are pokémon of immense power who want to help our understanding of the world."

"Our Benefactors…" Flame hummed, testing the words with his own mouth. "I've definitely heard that somewhere. I think it was in some book at the library."

Alice nodded in agreement. "They're allegedly the ones who introduced the modern tongue, and helped our understanding of physics, biology, and the wider universe. And…" Her face grew visibly uncomfortable. "And that they overthrew the old gods."

"Pfft, please." Gaius crossed his arms. "Don't tell me you believe that crap. I'd bet a thousand poké that it's all an allegory to worship the Emperor. Take away our local pantheons."

"It is difficult to be certain," Alice conceded, "but there are those stories every child in Urbe hears. Stories of what their parents or grandparents saw that day. They can't all be legend. N-not to mention the sudden death of all attempted usurpations to the throne, and—"

A muffled groan came from Gaius' throat. "Can we please get on with our planning?"

"Right," Alice said, and bent her head down to the map once more. "Apologies."

Flame merely sat there, and blinked a few times. Old gods? Usurpations? He'd only just learnt who the current Emperor was and the myth of the foundation of Urbe; this was a few too many lessons away!

Thankfully, Alice seemed concentrated on the map now. "In the immediate term, the direction we take will not matter too much. Eventually, however, we will have to come to a decision. Wherever our future home is, it's not in the south."

"Look, I'm not saying we walk into Urbe," Gaius said with an exasperated tone, running his hand down his face. "I just want to make it through the coming winter without starving or dying of cold. Is that too much to ask?"

"If we manage to find a new home before winter comes, neither of those things will happen," Alice explained, looking at him directly. "I can promise you that."

"Yeah, sure," Gaius gruntled, rolling his eyes. "… This is about your family, isn't it? You don't want to go near Urbe because they're—"

At that Alice shot up in height, at that her face contorted in a quick sequence of shock, confusion, and anger.

"I am not basing this decision on my family!" she shouted loud enough for Flame and Gaius to recoil away from her.

Flame stopped himself from falling with the aid of his paws, and watched wide-eyed as Alice directed a venomous stare in Gaius' direction, her heavy breaths audible by all.

Perhaps the most perplexing sight, however, was to see the Grovyle glance at the ground in shame.

"My … my emotions play no role in this decision," Alice half-whispered, still breathing through her teeth, a look of regret settling on her face as well. "I would never allow myself to influence your future out of selfish desire. Never."

A warm frown spreading across his face, Flame shuffled closer to her, and touched his paw to her mid-section. Despite having touched them in the past, he wondered at how soft her scales felt under his claws. Alice seemed to notice his touch, her features relaxing, her breathing slowing ever so mildly.

"Alice…" he murmured, sending her a smile of encouragement, giving her scales a quick squeeze.

"Sorry," she lowered her head to stare at the map again. Her eyes were quick to concentrate on the paper, yet he thought he saw a tiny, indistinguishable smile form on her cheeks.

Flame kept his paw in place and turned his head between his teammates, a small frown returning to him. "Guys, this isn't the time. We need to make a decision here, and for that we need to trust each other. All right?" he said, turning toward Gaius. "If Alice says the south is too dangerous, I trust her."

Gaius nodded back, his eyes low, a small sigh escaping his lips.

Flame returned his attention to the map, throwing his gaze at the area east of Aesernia, the province of Aesernia itself, then the distance of the largest cities marked on the map. It wasn't a very populated region, he mused, but this map did not account for military bases. The presence of Portus and another set of important-looking places mapped along the western seaboard led him to exclude that direction, for the time being, so he turned to the eastern lands. Just as lost as before in the vastness of the Empire's territory, he groaned slightly in frustration.

"We're in no position to be picky about climate right now," he mumbled out loud, dragging his claws around the map as his thoughts zapped one way or the other. "No, no, we need somewhere with a low population—somewhere the Army doesn't care about."

"I think south-east is our only option," decided Alice, pointing at the area with the tip of her tail. "It will allow us access to the far eastern provinces, where the Imperial Army's presence is minimal. Furthermore, the population in this general area only amounts to a few hundred thousand."

After a few moments of pause, Alice raised her head to confront them directly with her gaze, a confident smile perking at the edge of her lips. "All agree?"

Flame nodded, seeing the logic behind her words. Unable to go north or south, and with an uncertain western option, it seemed like the only reasonable conclusion to reach. The farther away from the capital, the better, after all.

Gaius only reacted with a shrug. "I guess…"

"Good," Alice flashed them a satisfied smirk. "Let us take this one step at a time, then. That way, even if we decide to change our goal mid-plan, we'll still be able to keep moving."

Her eyes narrowed in concentration, she brushed her tail about the map in thought, before it settled on a green-coloured area not far from Aesernia, giving onto a bay that separated the Empire's central peninsula from its eastern lands.

"Our first stop will be Basileia," Alice declared, eyeing both of them with careful excitement. "It borders directly with Aesernia province, and has for centuries represented the gateway to the east. The presence of many lakes and the surrounding woodland will allow us to pass through unnoticed, as will the many mystery dungeons in the area, if it ever comes to that."

Flame absentmindedly nodded along with her explanation. It seemed almost too convenient to be true, however, that their first checkpoint would be so near and so easy to traverse. According to her description, they might well have crossed both provinces and arrived at the foot of the Tartarus Mountains (or so the map called the blackened zone to the east) in little more than two weeks.

At that point, he imagined that any present troops would cease to be an obstacle: with Scum roaming freely inside imperial territory, and a battle about to occur on the Aesernian Plain, the desertion of a few soldiers would hardly be the Army's foremost preoccupation.

Like she said, one step at a time, Flame, he closed his eyes and terminated that line thought.

With a tiny breath, he lifted his eyelids and met Alice's expectant gaze with one of his own. "Any, uh … garrisons, or military bases we need to worry about?"

The Dragonair shook her head. "So long as we stay clear of Hadrianopolis—the provincial capital—we shouldn't encounter any resistance."

Her tail slid across to the blackened mountain range Flame had just glanced at, the small twin orbs just below its tip following suit. The crystalline blue surface beamed of orange once it neared his own tail's fire.

"The only significant obstacle to our journey will be here," she lifted her head momentarily to look them in the eye, "the Tartarus Mountains. They present a formidable barrier to any traveller, though they are not impassable. There are various valleys and passes that can help us navigate the area. I reckon it would take us two weeks at most. What do you think?"

Whilst Flame could not exactly bring himself to smile at the prospect of ice-topped mountains and glacial winds, he could not fault her logic, either. They needed to travel away from Urbe, and the sooner the better, for the phantom of winter neared with each passing day.

Gaius, for his part, contorted his face in discomfort, or perhaps disgust. "Crossing the Tartarus passes so close to winter? Arceus help us… I hope you realise that if for any reason we get slowed down, we'll have to cross in the snow. Where would we even go from there?"

"As I said, there are a lot of variables we cannot account for," Alice explained calmly. "This is merely a roadmap to give us a sense of direction; changes can be made at any point in the future."

Yet the Grovyle did not seem convinced. Gaius absentmindedly felt for his bag with his good paw, and let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine, I'll humour you. Where would we even go from there?"

Alice rejoiced as though she had been anticipating that question, gesturing with her tail. "Once we've made it through the passes, ahead of us lies a vast desert plain, crossed by a single road that connects the many oases and isolated townlets in the area. And it is here, in one of the many trading hubs dotted about the province, that I propose we seek refuge." She looked them both in the eye, seemed to radiate hope from her very words. "Somewhere removed from Urbe, from the front lines of the war, and from most of civilisation; somewhere we can lie low for a few years and find meaning in our lives again."

A vague warmth was fuzzing somewhere inside Flame's chest. He was smiling because her plan sounded feasible, because her soft, genuine smile compelled him to smile, but, most importantly, because he could feel a sense of hope building within that tent, in both of his teammates' eyes, in their relaxed posture, in the tiny flash of thought crossing Gaius' face.

"I think … that might just work," Flame said carefully, trying to curb his enthusiasm. "The only thing that worries me is how far away it is from Aesernia."

"Yeah," Gaius said. "We would need to spend more time in the Tartarus than I'm comfortable with. The whole journey might take upwards of two months—that's if nothing goes wrong—but … hell, I can think of crazier ideas."

"Two months…" Alice said slowly, as if tasting the concept with her own mouth. "You're right, it is a lot. Should winter come sooner than expected, crossing the passes might become too perilous for us to attempt. We need more ideas."

Flame's eyes sought every small detail in the map; every variation of colour, every hill and plain, every unimportant looking town that could conceivably house them for the rest of their lives. It definitely helped that his search was confined to the eastern portion of the Empire. And yet, after a few silent minutes of thoughtless searching, Flame let out a tiny groan. Why, oh why had he not asked Alice to hold more lessons at the library? That there was not enough time for them mattered little to his frustrated psyche—beside some key notions, he was essentially illiterate regarding the Empire's territories, staring emptily at places and hoping they did not house some general's holiday residence.

However, as his eyes swam back and forth and east and west, he caught sight of a curious feature in the lower part of the Tartuarus range—an inscription, letters followed by a small dot that signified the presence of a town. When he payed closer attention, he noticed that that area was surrounded by segmented lines all within the mountains, subtly dissimilar from the ones used to outline separate provinces.

"Hey, uh … why are these mountains marked differently?"

"Hm? Oh, that's the Kingdom of Galatia—one of the Empire's many client states," Alice said matter-of-factly, her face straightening as though to prepare for a long speech. "It may seem strange that the Crown allows them to exist, but there are historical reasons for that."

"Mew, don't make her start…" Gaius grumbled, pawing his face.

Flame chuckled to himself and shook his head. He found it endearing when she entered this 'encyclopaedia' mode.

"You see, the Empire always found it difficult to subjugate the native pokémon, holed up as they were in their mountainous fort of Thermae Himerae, so they reached a compromise where the territory would pay tribute each year but still maintain most of their … autonomy…" she trailed off, whispering the last part as her eyes became struck by realisation. "Hang on, Flame… Why didn't we think of this sooner?! This—this might turn out to be a better plan than mine! The local government has no reason to give us away as their ties to the Empire are formal at best—especially now that the Imperial Army is too preoccupied to pose a threat. What reason would Galatian authorities have to create a fuss over a couple of fugitives?"

"It would be significantly closer than your suggestion…" Gaius hummed, a lone claw on his chin. "Either way, it's right in the middle of the road you suggested we take. If Galatia doesn't want us, we can continue on to the desert."

"So … that's it," Flame said solemnly. "I'd say we have an actual goal now. All that's left is…"

"… Leaving this rathole," Alice completed the sentence for him, grinning distantly. "I know. Hopefully, it'll be the hardest part of our plan."

Quiet overcame the tent. Yet, it was not charged with tension or anxiety, as had happened to them in the past; it was a peaceful sort of silence. There was nothing more to say because they had already agreed on everything that needed to be agreed on.

Now, the only thing left to confront was time.

"So, um … w-we're really doing this?" Flame stammered quietly, a tiny shivering fluttering at the base of his spine. "Tomorrow?"

Alice reacted with an absentminded nod. "If the opportunity presents itself, then … yes. I see no reason to wait. I wish we could prepare further than we already have, but … we'll make this work. We always have."

Flame chortled lightly, a smirk besieging his face. "I don't think we could plan any more even if we tried."

That comment snatched additional chuckles from the both of them, and even a quaint smile from Gaius' part.

Flame realised that the Grovyle had, in some ways, reverted to his older self prior to losing his limb—yet there was still an air of unfamiliarity surrounding him, some core aspect of the Grovyle that had morphed irreversibly. Was it because he was actually smiling? Now that Flame thought about it, he couldn't recall the Grovyle ever showing any genuine tranquility. And yet, there was a small quantity of that in the very face he was staring at, the same tranquility that currently hovered over all three of them, that seemed to permeate himself as much as Alice. (Was her body angled towards him?)

"Come on," broke Gaius suddenly, rising on his feet and slinging his bag on his shoulder. "The mess hall's got to be closing by now."

Alice gave him a curious look. "Let me guess: too much mushy stuff for one day?"

"Far too much," agreed Gaius with a nod, turning to leave.

Flame smiled warmly at the words being exchanged; as he climbed to his feet, his tail accidentally brushed against Alice's. For a fleeting instant he wondered why his mind chose to notice that detail.

Nevertheless, their eyes met for only a single heartbeat as both slung their respective bags over their shoulder—or neck, in her case. Gaius parted the tent's flap and walked out, and Flame followed suit with Alice right behind him.

Even as his teammates began heading in the direction of the mess hall, Flame felt compelled to take in the darkened sky. Vast oceans of Dialga blue stretched far above, only dulling to thin rosey and orange bands as one's eye approached the edge of the horizon. For what felt like the thousandth time this day, Flame allowed himself to smile. He refused to believe that this was all a fantasy.

Perhaps the gods, sympathetic to their pitiful state, had chosen to grant him and his team this small shimmer of hope.

Whatever it was, it helped him feel at peace.


Domus Aerelia

Muffled rays of sun leaked in from the empty skylight embedded in the roof's cement, granting shape to the room below and its two occupants. Only a single will-o-wisp torch adorned the richly decorated walls—swirling shapes of aqua green and red lined with golden borders, upon which pokémon and milky temples and ancient gods stood frozen in time.

That the earthquake had not outright destroyed her villa—never mind her precious murals—bore every mark of a minor miracle, thought Ariel, hands clasped behind her back. Her attention was fixated on a particular leaf floating atop her pool, having probably entered from the hole in the ceiling overnight. Losing her skylight's glass and letting the wind carry rubbish inside was a relatively low price to pay, all things considered.

However, the true reason she pondered on the damage her residence had endured was so that she would not have to entertain those lifeless, artificial red eyes staring in her direction from the room's entrance.

After a few minutes of pretending to ignore them, Ariel relented with a charged sigh, snapping her head in the Genesect's direction. "What do you want?"

Sycorax remained unmoving, standing perfectly straight with its arms crossed behind its back. "I understand that you would prefer not to see me, but you are the governor of this province. As such, I feel an obligation to at least inform you of recent developments on the field."

There it was; the cold jolt running through her veins every time she heard that filtered, static-laden voice. Why Hadrianus had chosen to accept this … thing as a gift, much less name it the head of the armed forces, continued to baffle her. All of a sudden, the endless propaganda on these Benefactors' divine nature swam in her head once again, and she made an effort to clear it out.

"Ever since you got here, it's been nothing but one catastrophe after another," Ariel said dryly. "Just say it. Get it over with."

"Oh, I assure you, my presence has hardly been the catalyst for recent events," said Sycorax, seeming to grin slightly even though it did not possess a mouth at all. "It was merely a coincidence—a very fortunate one, I might add."

Ariel fought hard to rein in the animosity soaking her expression. "What did I say?"

"Very well, then," Sycorax said, its metal armour rattling at each step as it strode forward to meet her face-to-face. "After making their presence known to the enemy on multiple occasions and withdrawing across the Iapetus river, our airborne scouting teams have provided updates on the enemy's activity. Barbarian forces sacking the village of Sperantia Nova have lifted the occupation, and subsequent reconnaissance missions have confirmed that they seem to be headed southward, as we had planned. All that remains is to fortify the bridge and wait."

The news, however much expected, injected Ariel with a vaguely defined apprehension. In thirteen measly days, she had transitioned from unofficial queen of Aesernia, in control of her own police force, to ruling over a pile of militarised rubble with Scum encroaching on her walls. Oh, and this metallic crime against nature was bossing her around, too.

And yet, despite that, she could not bring herself to remain angry. Not when those bright red eyes singed a hole into her conscience—she was still not sure whether they emitted light or not.

"How much time until they get here?" Ariel asked, attempting to stare past it, to concentrate on the lone leaf at the centre of her pool.

"Two days," the Genesect stated without a hint of emotion in its voice. "If they choose the direct route, and do not rest for the night, perhaps fewer. The defence condition level will be raised at sunrise."

"Drawing them right towards us…" Ariel whispered as she shook her head, her expression halfway between disgusted and uncertain. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Allowing them freedom of movement presented too much of a strategic risk. By leading them toward us we are essentially rigging the engagement in our favour by choosing its place and time," Sycorax explained, walking in circles around the immobile Ariel. "Once they come across our legions, their options are twofold: they can either storm our fortifications and pay for every blade of grass gained in blood, or, if they truly are as unintelligent as most claim, attempt an airborne and amphibious crossing of the river. There is, however, the chance that they may become aware of our trap and avoid the engagement altogether. Unlikely, indeed, but a possibility nonetheless."

A usual background of static followed that last word, and thus ended all signs of life coming from the Genesect.

Ariel continued to stare at it expectantly, yet it did not move, did not have a mouth or face that could move, merely those red, glowing eyes, and the quiet, continuous hum coming from within its purple metallic shell.

Ariel broke the silence, narrowing her eyes. "Well? Don't pretend that's everything. How will this affect that mission of yours? You know, the one those precious 'Benefactors' assigned you. Are you just going to risk the whole battle to make sure this 'Icarus' is retrieved?"

"The operation will go forward as planned," Sycorax replied motionlessly, looking at nothing and straight into her soul all at once. "Two of my agents are currently monitoring the target until sunrise. As soon as the time is right, they will retrieve target Icarus and exfiltrate to a predetermined location. I can assure you that the VII Legion's mobilization and overall performance shall not be impacted by the absence of a single soldier. The battle will continue as if it had never occured."

The two battled with their gazes, glass clashing against tender flesh. Glass' glower won out in the end, and Ariel was forced to look away briefly. A sort of vapid animosity swelled her chest cavity at the knowledge that any pretense of authority had been cast away by that action. In any other situation it would be her glaring a recruit into tears. Couldn't she go back to those times of bliss, when her bath was always steaming and her power uncontested?

"Fine. This whole situation feels wrong, but … fine," she grumbled, forcibly steeling her face and posture.

Sycorax made a nod, and its eyes lit up in scarlet. "Very well," it concluded, turning to leave. "Once the operation is complete, I shall leave alongside my agents to ensure Icarus is transferred to Creator ownership. I trust you will be able to handle yourself for a time."

Just like that, Ariel halted her breathing, her eyes swelling in disbelief as the as the reality of the situation kicked her in the gut.

"Farewell, governor."

At once she wanted to scream something, but by the time the words formed in her throat, the Genesect was already underneath the doorway, mere steps away from leaving her line of sight.

"What? Y-you can't just leave!" she reached out with her arm, waving an accusing claw. "Not after you started this mess with the—hey, come back here!" she shouted, dashing clumsily into the corridor. "Look me in the eye, damn it!"

Thankfully, as she pushed herself past the doorway and into the long, richly furnished hallway, she saw that the Genesect had stopped in its middle, deigning to look back at her.

"How could—how could you leave right now?" she wheezed, realising these might be the only words she'd get to use to convince it. "You yourself said the battle is in two days—two days. What the fuck could be so important that you need to leave now?"

"Aesernia will be in capable hands: I have transferred full leadership of its defence to Praefect Varus," Sycorax stated matter-of-factly. "He will serve you well, governor. As for myself … I believe His Majesty Hadrianus would accept my offer to aid him in his duties. There is a war effort to coordinate, after all."

"Well, the war is here, in Aesernia!" Ariel gestured by waving her arms. "You brought it here! And you're telling me you have to leave because some obscure group of divine beings the Emperor sucks up to is asking you nicely? What the fuck am I supposed to do if the battle doesn't go our way, huh?"

No sooner than she was done, Sycorax turned its armoured body around completely. Ariel swallowed subconsciously; it had to have been the corridor, she thought, messing up the proportions in her head. How could it glare at her if its eyes did not ever move, or change?

"Irrelevant," said Sycorax simply. "You need not be concerned about the Praetorian Guard's affairs. As I have already told you, it is imperative for the betterment of the war effort that this mission ends in success. The Creators have offered Hadrianus full military support in return, and were that to happen, even the short-term loss of Aesernia would become irrelevant. It is not our place to question their interests."

"You and your Arceus-damned creators…" Ariel muttered lowly, baring her teeth, rolling her claws into fists. "These Benefactors, your creators—what the hell are they, anyway? Pokémon—gods? How come they haven't blown the Scum to oblivion if they're so powerful?"

Sycorax lowered its head in thought. Its eyes seemed to dim for a moment. "It is not a thing you can comprehend."

"Fuck you it is!" she drew closer, jabbing a claw at its metallic carapace.

It was an action she immediately regretted. No sooner had her face turned blank that she retreated her head and took a step back, trying to escape those rageful dual pupils of glass approaching her gradually, leaning forward as she leaned back, stepping forth as she backed away in fear.

After only a few metres of retreat her tail and then her back impacted against one of the many small tables of wood: she turned around just in time to witness it careen onto the floor, and the gold-ornamented mirror upon it smashed against the ground in a single impact that spread a shower of tiny glass fragments all over the floor.

Her heart could not worry about that for too long, though, for she was forced to meet her stalker's eyes mere centimetres from hers. Her breath ripped away all at once, she could not but let out an inaudible whine when she realised her muscles were no longer complying with her commands.

Sycorax stared into her, filled her entire field of vision, seemed to tilt its head as one would with a small kit.

"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it," the Genesect remarked with a voice lower than normal. "You seek to meddle in affairs far greater than yourself—dust struggling against cosmic winds. It is evident that you do not yet comprehend your place in things."

Ariel attempted to swallow; she could not. It bothered her far more than it should have that she could not swallow.

Even as Sycorax pulled its head back, and Ariel felt oxygen slowly start to return to her lungs, it continued to glare at her with a passion that artificial eyes should not have possessed.

"Make no mistake, Ariel: the Creators do not owe us help of any kind. We exist because they desire it; and we could end because they demand it. Before them, you and I are irrelevant."

"O-okay," she breathed out.

Seemingly content with its work, Sycorax stepped back a few paces, then gave her one last look.

"For your own future, do not interfere with the Praetorian Guard's affairs. Your current position as governor of this province is frail enough as things stand—do not complicate matters further. This meeting is adjourned."

At that, Sycorax turned completely, and with a brisk step, disappeared at the corridor's end.


End of Chapter XVII
 
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