Pokémon Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Prelude in Darkness

[rimly]

Spoiler: Chapters 8-9

"Emeras!" she cried, running over to them and scooping them up. "All mine~"

Robin scooping up emeras like a kid finding candy on the ground made me laugh. Nina comparing her to a Gabite or Murkrow, and then Lifis has to step in with its for her arrows like hes used to explaining his partners weird behavior to strangers is a lot of fun.

the banter in this chapter clicks well in general! you can feel the group dynamic settling in and its nice to see Nina loosening up enough to find something funny even if shes not fully there yet

…Odd. Why was that inscription not buried by the snow? Is…someone here?

small detail but i liked this. Ninas survival instincts picking up on something everyone else would walk past.

"Maybe that's what happened? That voice couldn't change me because they were interrupted?"

the transformation mystery is always a fun question and is quietly one of the bigger mysteries building in the background and i appreciate that its not being forced, just developing naturally through conversation

Are you sure those are the feelings you wish to leave on, Celebi Aega?

chapter 9 opens with Aega and this is where i have some mixed feelings? the mystery voice pushing her on her feelings for Lifis is fine as a concept but it reads a little like a therapy session where the therapist already knows the answer and is just waiting for the patient to admit it. the voice is being SO pointed about it, that it doesnt leave much room for Aega to arrive at anything on her own. she mostly just gets flustered and deflects

that said the underlying tension is real. she knows this is goodbye. she knows the plan requires her to stay behind. the feelings she hasnt said are feelings she might never get to say and that clock is ticking whether she acknowledges it or not :(

"In all the time I've been alive, some of my deepest regrets have been the words that I wished I'd said to loved ones who perished…"

Sam.

Raijin.

Matrona.

mann,,,. Nina telling Lifis to say the words while he still can, and the weight behind it of all these people she never got to say goodbye to properly. its also a sign of how far Nina has come in just a few chapters. shes not just tolerating these two anymore, shes actively trying to protect Lifis from the kind of pain she carries. ;c;;; Ninaaaa beloveddd

"That's enough from you!"

And then stabbed it into the Abomasnow's thick hide.

Robin climbing onto its back and stabbing a fire emera arrow directly into it like shes fighting a Shadow of the Colossus boss is the most Robin thing that could possibly happen LMAOO. she has like no way to get at it, and her response is to just physically get on the thing and stab it. everything about her fighting style has been improvisation and refusal to quit and this is the peak

"My name is Skathi," the Froslass spoke. "And I am the Voice of Life."

Skathi showing up at the end as the Voice of Lifein a world thats been dead for three centuries thats one hell of a title to drop. especially since shes a Froslass which is an ice/ghost type, so you have this entity associated with life inhabiting a form associated with death and cold. curious to see what her deal actually is because right now shes giving cryptic benefactor energy and i dont fully trust that yet

the Abomasnow fight does have some back-and-forth in the middle that blends together before Robin makes her move, trimming the exchanges where Nina fires a flamethrower and gets hit and fires another flamethrower would make Robins moment punch through harder

overall a really fun set of chapters! im actually so close to finishing the last few and im so excited to see where it's at- until i have to have the dreaded wait of waiting for more! ;c; this is a lot of fun and really great job so far! :D

 

[rimly]

Spoiler: Chapters 10-11

"I am the voice of all of nature. Every last mountain, river, tree, and blade of grass in this world…" She gazed around her, at the unmoving landscape and floating ice floes. "Even in its diminished and faltering state, there are still exclamations of joy and cries of pain in this world. Each one is an act of rebellion against life's fate."

the concept of the Voice of Life being the collective voice of every mountain and river and blade of grass in a world where all of those things are frozen and dying is reaaaaaaallly good, i always love that :D

"...You would understand were you in my place, human." Skathi's tone, though composed, seemed to disguise an edge to it. "No plan ended up scuppered, and you all ended up alive and in one piece–"

"No," Lifis cut in before the Voice of Life could continue. "Not all of us."

ohohoho... because Skathi keeps framing everything in terms of the bigger picture, Aega is the lifeline, keeping her safe was the priority, the plan succeeded, and the crew keeps hitting back with the human cost. Pelle died for this detour and Skathi didnt even know. theres something almost cruel about how logical her reasoning is versus how much it cost them

the Voice of Life exposition section before the confrontation drags a bit though. theres a lot of explaining what the Voice of Life is, how the summoning process functions, why Robin didnt transform, the connection to the Air Continent crisis, all stuff we need but delivered in a stretch that feels more like Q&A. the bits that are really really good when the characters actually push back on Skathi rather than just asking questions and receiving answers

"He was…nearing the end of his life and growing quite frail. He did not tell that to either of you–" Aega directed her gaze at Robin and Lifis. "He only wanted you to focus on the mission at hand. Above all, he only feared a futile death. He told me multiple times he would be glad to perish if he knew it'd let the world see the sun once again."

Aega revealing that Pelle was already dying and hid it from Robin and Lifis puts his whole sacrifice in a different light. it wasnt just selflessness, it was a man choosing the terms of an ending that was coming regardless. man... that echoes what Robin pitched to Nina at the campfire. dying for something versus dying for nothing. Pelle got to choose and that mattered to him more than a few more weeks of breathing

Countless charred corpses lay before Nina, in a chunk of land that had been carved through by a powerful beam.

chapter 11 opening with the flashback to Ninas first time seeing Dialga, and the resistance getting wiped in one blast, earns its place immediately. weve been told hes terrifying this whole fic but this is the first time we get to realyl experience it through Ninas memory. really really good stuff!!

"L-Leave me," Nina found herself gasping. "P-Please, you can't forsake your chance now…!"

"...We're all getting through this," the human vowed. "Come on, Nina!"

And before the Ninetales could muster a reply, she suddenly found herself being lifted up by Robin.

man, Nina has spent three hundred years being the one who runs alone, the one who survives by not relying on anyone because relying on people gets them killed. and now shes being carried. literally. by this weird human who cant even keep up on a jog. ;c;;;

My heart aches for you, O Timekeeper. Truly, it is painful to see you in this state.

and then Skathi talking to Primal Dialga at the end, addressing him with real sorrow rather than defiance is a choice i didnt expect, theyre saving Dialga from himself. the fact that Skathi sees the god underneath the madness and still pities him even as hes trying to kill everyone is a strong beat. and of course it goes completely unheard because hes too far gone to process anything but enemies. i dont think ive seen that angle for dialga before but is really really nice.

okay so thats everything posted so far!! 🎺 totototooot! what are my thoughts so far!

Spoiler: what do i think so far!

Nina is the beating heart of this fic and its really good, her arc from terrified Vulpix to hardened killer to someone slowly cracking open is always a really good arch i love getting to read. i love sitting down with these characters and letting them really talk through their emotions in a way that is really engaging and fun.

Robin is a fun wildcard and i like that she stays scrappy and distinctly herself throughout. shes got personality and it contrasts well with Ninas heaviness

the thread running through this whole fic about choosing how you die from what i can tell. Pelle choosing sacrifice over futility, Robin pitching die for something, Nina wrestling with suicidal ideation versus meaningful sacrifice, it gives this a weight thats a lot of fun and im curious where its going to go

i think the action sequences a little longer than they need to. the beach fight, the Abomasnow, etc. each one has a core moment that delivers but gets diluted by extra rounds of back-and-forth before reaching it. cutting those middle stretches would make the payoff moments punch through harder

theres also a pattern with exposition coming in chunks too, the campfire plan explanation, Skathis Voice of Life lore, the Dimensional Scream rundown, where characters take turns asking questions and getting full paragraph answers. i think it could be done a bit more dyanmically, either by having the characters be doing something as they talk or cutting up the chunks of information with bits of chaos.

chapter 2 covering Ninas entire three hundred year arc in one chapter means some key moments get summarized when they could breathe as scenes. the chapter does a lot of heavy lifting and mostly pulls it off but its fighting against its own compressed timeline. i am hoping we get some flashbacks and i think we will from the way the story is going.

now... Skathi being the one who summoned Robin and also being the one who took Aega feels like theres more going on there than shes admitting, the fact that she knew about the void creature (i can wonder who that is...) but her explanation was pretty vague makes me wonder if shes withholding something. and the void creature itself with the crimson eye that Pelleh described hasnt been explained yet which i expect we will hear up by the end of the book.

really enjoying this so far. looking forward to more! :D