Mystery Continent ~ Southern Beach

[Namohysip]

This reminded Owen of a certain Mightyena, in a way. He wondered how far the similarities went. Still, he couldn't hear him talking, and, tentatively, wondered of another Shadow could hear him instead. Wishkeeper loomed silently, perhaps interpreting for Owen.

"Scared... and never happy," Owen repeated. "Do you know why? He's an aspect of you, after all."

 

[Negrek]

"Me, really?" Nate gestured to himself in exasperation. "An aspect. Whatever. Maybe like the aspect of me when I was fucking five or something."

"He's scared because a lot of people have hurt him in the past, and he thinks everyone's dangerous. And he's not happy because he'd rather spend his time hiding than doing things that make him happy, because they're scary," Rocky said. Nate rolled his eyes.

 

[Namohysip]

"Scared to do things that'd make him happy, because it might wind up with getting hurt later?" Owen asked, and a sad smile tugged at him. He nodded. "Well, y'know! I guess we have more in common that we'd like to admit, in a way... Living a life where you don't really know who to trust, right? People keeping secrets from you, using you to better themselves... I dunno how much of that you had to deal with, but--I get it. It's... not easy. But..."

 

[Negrek]

Nate rubbed uneasily at the back of his neck. "I mean, I dunno. You've had it way rougher than me."

"You should probably listen to Owen," Rocky said sagely. "He obviously knows more about this than you do."

"Could you maybe, like, fuck off for five minutes or something?"

Rocky stuck his tongue out at Nate. The shadow hung limply from his hand, tears leaking silently from its eyes. It might be hoping to be forgotten about.

 

[Namohysip]

"In the end, Shadows are telling some truth about you in an extreme way," Owen said. "Mine manifested in a different way, but... Wishkeeper ultimately wanted to protect against new harm by keeping me safe and away. A shield that nobody would go through. Yours wants to hide... but is trying to avoid the same thing." Owen sighed. "I think... I think you need to talk to him. And listen. And then, explain why it doesn't have to be that way. But only if... you agree with that idea. Or do you think hiding... and running from everything... is better?"

 

[Negrek]

"Of course not," Nate said. "I ain't a fucking coward. So whatever that thing's got going on"--he pointed exasperatedly at the miserable shadow--"it ain't got nothing to do with me. I already told it not to be such a little bitch, but it didn't work."

"I don't think hitting it and telling it to stop crying counts," Rocky said.

"The fuck do you mean? Beating the shit out of people is just how people solve problems. Unless you managed to miss the last however many fights we've had. The two of us ought to be best fucking friends now."

The shadow mudkip cringed.

 

[Namohysip]

"It's not the same," Owen said. "When we fought our enemies, it was always to help them, to stop them from hurting others, or to stop them from hurting themselves. When we fought our friends, it was to mutually show our strength! This... The way you two are acting... That's not the same kind of fighting." It seemed that Owen was speaking from a true Pokemon's perspective than anything, the nuances behind battle and its contexts.

"And no matter how you look at it, denying your Shadow is going to be part of the problem. Something inside of you is crying and afraid... It's plain as day, right in front of us. All you're doing is hurting yourself."

 

[Negrek]

"I was trying to help it, though," Nate said. "If it don't cut the cringy shit, everybody else is gonna be lining up to kick it, too. I was trying to get it to shape up."

"Marshtomp," Rocky said warningly. He set the shadow mudkip down in the sand, where he immediately tried to hide behind the familiar's leg. A spreading pool of dark tears would have made him obvious, even if you couldn't hear his sniffling.

"Look, I'll be real. You haven't exactly sold me on the 'something inside you is crying and afraid' thing." Nate grimaced, as though the words themselves tasted awful. "If shadows are usually supposed to be parts of you, whatever. Maybe the Shadow Machine just gave me the one that would piss me off the most. Maybe it fucked up somehow. Who knows. But if I were all scared and crying all the goddamn time, I'd just be straight dead in my world, get me? Something don't add up."

 

[Namohysip]

"You'd know more than me what doesn't add up," Owen said, "but... how about we try talking to him again? No... hitting, no trying to toughen him up yet. Just... a talk. For me, I'll try to have Wishkeeper interpret for me... Because sometimes, how you are inside can be really different from how you act in front of others. Just, uh, I mean, compare me a few months ago to Wishkeeper."

 

[Negrek]

Nate clearly wanted to object, but Rocky gave him a warning look. He sighed. "Fine, whatever. But the thing don't actually talk much. It's mostly just crying."

How you are on the inside, for fuck's sake. That was the worst part of it, people thinking he must secretly be so fucking sad or whatever the fuck because he had some evil psychic parasite following him around, sobbing on everything. He couldn't help but smile at Owen's last statement, though. "What, you think you come off more like that guy now than you did a few months ago? Dunno about that one. But whatever, I guess. You want to talk, then talk." He gestured towards Rocky, whom the shadow was still hiding behind.

 

[Namohysip]

Owen nodded, and then Wishkeeper emerged and spiraled around Owen like a protective specter. He tried to look discrete otherwise so he didn't frighten the poor thing.

"Hey," Owen said gently, taking wide steps to get out of the sand, only to sink in again when he advanced. It would have to do. "It's alright. We only want to talk, if that's all you can go for. Okay? ...What's your name?"

 

[Negrek]

The huge shadow charizard trying to look nonthreatening sure was something. Nate smirked and stayed where he was, content to let Owen and his shadow get all up in the mudkip's business if that's what they were so keen on.

Rocky wasn't really sure if he should stay where he was or move away. He lifted up one foot experimentally, peering around behind himself to gauge the shadow mudkip's reaction. The mudkip ducked his head, quivering in place, but it didn't look like he was going to run off. Rocky took a couple of steps to the side and left him exposed but stayed hovering nervously.

The mudkip flinched when Owen addressed him, squeezing his eyes shut. But a couple of seconds after he'd asked his question, when it became obvious, maybe, that he wasn't going to give up and go away, the mudkip finally said, "I don't have one."

 

[Namohysip]

Every time he spoke, Wishkeeper murmured something to Owen, likely the interpretation.

"That's okay. What do you want me to call you for now?" he asked. "Do you know what you are?" He remembered that Dave's Shadow had an understanding of that, even if Wishkeeper's was not as thorough. Perhaps this one had an idea, too, if it gained enough confidence to speak it. "It's okay. Whatever you think you are, it might be right."

 

[Negrek]

"I'm a shadow," the mudkip said. He picked at the sand in front of him, which was slimy from the tears that continued to run from his eyes. "I don't think it matters what you call me. Sorry."

 

[Namohysip]

To that, Owen frowned. "Well, if that's the case, would you be alright if I called you Nate instead?" he asked. "If you're a shadow, what are you a shadow of for Nate? It's okay; we won't be mad." He made a telling glance at the tangible Nate.

 

[Negrek]

Nate met Owen's glance with a grim scowl. He was scooping up gritty sand and squeezing it out between his fingers, over and over again.

The shadow mudkip cringed. "I don't think the real Nate would like that," he said. "I don't... what am I of? I..." He dragged at his face with arms that trailed off to oozing, half-formed stumps. "I'm everything bad about him. All the worst parts."

Nate made a noise of protest, squeezing his handful of sand so hard that some of it clotted into mud. The shadow mudkip trembled, tears flowing even more freely. "Sorry! I'm sorry!"

 

[Namohysip]

"Nate," Owen said sharply, thumping his tail on the ground enough to shake the sand beneath the Marshtomp. "Let him speak. You only have to deal with this for a week, after all, don't you?"

He and Wishkeeper turned their attention back to the inky Mudkip. "Nate doesn't seem to be externally the sort of person to feel this way," Owen said gently. "In what way are you the worst parts? Is it how he feels? Or what he wants to say, but can't?"

 

[Negrek]

"I didn't say shit!" Nate protested. "And forget a fucking week, I don't gotta put up with none of this shit for five fucking minutes if I don't want to. You'd better make this real damn quick."

The shadow seemed confused by Owen's question. He blinked uselessly and shivered under the charizard's gaze. "I'm the worst because I'm weak. I'm a coward. I'm pathetic. I'm useless. I'm... the worst." He seemed to be searching for something. Finally he said, "Nate can't be like me."

"And I'm not," Nate said pointedly. "Which is why all this shit is a waste of fucking time."

 

[Namohysip]

"Nate can't be like you," Owen repeated, scaly brow furrowing at the phrasing. "...Can't as in, he can't afford to be like you. Is that what you mean? But the fact that somewhere inside, these feelings exist... Do you know why?"

 

[Negrek]

The shadow nodded miserably. "He can't... yes." The other question was much harder. "Why?" The mudkip shuddered sniffling and wiping at one eye, to no effect. "I don't understand. This is just how I am. I've always been this way."