• Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!

    Join now!

Chapter 52: Shunned Siblings

BlackHairedPsycho

Aura Knight
Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out…

Blue tried to calm himself as he sat on the deck of Prince's ship. The broken blade strapped to his side seemed to hum with the crashing waves. He couldn't tell if it was from nerves or excitement. The Temple of the Sea, ancient city of Manaphy! He was going there!

…to march through and kill a death maze that has spread its influence there. Kind of put a damper on that bubbling excitement.

…a slight one. It was too bad Pana and Scales wouldn't be coming along, as he just heard.

"Why the hell not?" Pana growled at her parents. Rio yawned at her side, while Scales dozed off to the side a bit. He was carrying both his and Pana's bags, and stared at another island in the distance. Blue thought it was called… Greenpaw.

"I know you can feel the first reason," Master Kuma said, pointing in the direction Scales was looking towards. "I know you can feel it."

Pana said nothing, but her eyes wandered towards the island as well. The Bidoof watched her fists clench, and relax. Over and over…

"You and Scales have your own to find," Ursa added on, crouching to get on her daughter's level. "They can't stop you, you know that. Go and claim what's yours."

…did her eyes flick to Blue for a moment? He wasn't sure…

"...fine," she said finally. "We'll go. Just…"

"Alright," with that, Kuma waved Blue over, calling to him. "Time for one last debrief."

Blue went over, a bit of nerves creeping back in. Where exactly were Pana and Scales going…?

"To put it simply," Ursa said to the team. "we're splitting you up. Pana and Scales have their own task nearby, and they'll be of limited use in the water."

Blue knew the reasoning made sense, especially if their task was what he thought it was…

"Rio can shift into a Vaporeon," Kuma added on. "Blue's powers work best when there's water around, and for obvious reasons this will be Prince's home turf. You three will be the assault squad. Get Prince through, get Manaphy loose, and drive the maze out. Got it?"

"Yup," Rio nodded, tapping the crystal he got from Red.

"I'm ready for this," Prince looked positively excited, and Blue couldn't really blame him. If Blue was excited about seeing this place, Prince's anticipation must have been staggering. His Legend, the fact he probably heard more stories about the place than even Blue, and he's been working towards this for who knows how long? And he needed one last push…

"...ok," Blue said after some hesitation. This was it. He was doing it.

"I'll be dropping the two of ya off on Greenpaw on our way out," Prince said to Pana and Scales. "You got this."

"Right…" Scales nodded.

"Don't we always…" Pana agreed, before turning to her brothers and Blue. "None of you are allowed to die."

"Last thing I wanna do," Rio waved the concern off, but flashed her a genuine smile. "We'll be ok. Always have been."

"...We'll keep it that way," Blue finally said.

"It'll take more than that place," Scales shot back.

"...good." she nodded, before going to sit next to Blue. The Bidoof didn't flinch, instead calming down a bit. Rio shot the two of them a smirk. Then Blue's blush came.

"Good luck," Kuma nodded, before going to jump off the ship.

"You won't need it," Ursa smiled, before following.



Pana walked as silently as ever as she and Scales walked Greenpaw. They could feel where they needed to go, it was so obvious now… She didn't bother with trying to sneak around, she really didn't care. Plus, Scales's scales tended to stand out.

It looked as nice as ever, the fields of different crops standing against the forest that gave the island its namesake. Fruit, rice, vegetables, and of course bamboo. She resisted the urge to snatch a small piece for herself. Small houses and fences marked the borders between, a path snaking into the lush forest that took the second half of the island.

And, of course, there were the people themselves.

The Snorlax, the Pangoro… they all stared at the siblings, exiled years ago only to return. The runt and the bastard. The thief and the glutton. The freaks…

Scales didn't even flinch as he caught an overripe tomato thrown by a Munchlax and just popped it in his mouth. Free snacks are free snacks…

Pana however, retaliated almost instantly. No one really saw what exactly she did, but the kid found his own face full of mud in an instant. Her paws only had the faintest of droplets as the tiniest bits of evidence. But no one would dare call her out on it. Their new family, their actual family… they made them strong. They wouldn't have it. They didn't need to take it anymore, and the people knew that.

She thought back to those early years. Just her and Scales. She had to steal for herself, and a RAVENOUS mouth. She had a talent, and it just… blossomed under so much pressure. And it got her noticed.

"Pana," Scales said, holding out his tail to stop her. "We're here."

Pana looked up at the dungeon entrance. The seemingly normal forest clearing ripped and writhed in front of them, stretching far past what should be possible on such a small island. And, of course, the roiling mass of tentacles that edged each side. Signs of the maze.

That, and the longing in their heads told them they were in the right place.

"Let's do it," Scales growled, his scales already shimmering with Iron Defense.

Pana nodded, taking a deep breath before Bulking Up herself and walking inside the death dungeon. The world seemed to get colder as they were spat into a forest of darkness.

"The preview was off…" Scales notes kicking a tendril that got too close. The tree leaves were a gunky black, the trunks themselves were coated in a gnarled, oily substance, the grass was pitch black, and the silence was eerie.

In other words, about what the two expected. There was only one path ahead.

"Is it weird I feel more comfy here than back in town?" Scales asked, taking a careful look around.

"Feel the same way," Pana said, her already light footsteps drowned out by Scales's jingling. Two paths to take, one to the left, another to the right. That feeling that drew them in… all Pana could feel was it being faintly ahead. Without discussing, Pana went for the leftmost path. Scales shrugged and followed.

Of course, the enormous, rotting Trevenant waiting there wasn't inclined to let them advance without a fight. It didn't even wait for them to finish walking through the corridor, bringing a massive Wood Hammer down on the pair as they emerged. Scales brought his own hand up to block and flared his Dragon Dance to push back, his Iron Defense combining with his natural toughness to barely make him feel it in the first place. He just held it there, keeping it in place for Pana's attack. She was already gone.

Suddenly, the ghost tree's other arm was severed from its body, the sneaky Shadow Claw rending ghostly wood like paper. It didn't cry out, but did not look like it appreciated being pruned. It looked around for the unseen panda, before suddenly taking an Aerial Ace to the back, forcing it to stumble. That was all Scales needed, YANKING it off its root legs and towards his burning maw. His Flamethrower erupted point blank, dead wood going up in smoke. Again, no cry of pain. No agony displayed. Only the release of a zombie.

Pana rejoined her sibling as they watched their enemy burn. Another monster of the Labyrinth.

She almost wanted it to be this stupid island instead.

"Let's do this fast," Pana said, tearing her eyes away from the burning log and starting down another path.

"Yeah…" Giving the burning ghost tree one last glance, Scales followed. They had a job to do.

And dammit, it would be done.
 
Chapter 53: Sunken Titans

BlackHairedPsycho

Aura Knight
"Begin!" Rio barked, watching the spar on the deck of Prince's ship with the rest of his crew. His fellow hybrid wanted to test how Blue had grown in his swordplay, and so here they were. The dual Razor Shells versus Blue's broken blade. The sea churned as the two sprung into action, Blue dashing to the side as Prince approached quickly, water surging around him. The blades clashed, and Blue actually managed to stand his ground, and push the water type back! All that training had been paying dividends.

The Riolu-Eevee then saw Blue's blade go slick with condensation, as he suddenly launched an arc of cutting water at Prince, who cut it out of the air. Now that was something! Blue had come a long, long way from when they first met. Wave after wave uf high pressure cutting water flew at the captain, who weaved through the slashes, an Aqua Jet surrounding him as he approached.

Blue adapted rather quickly, bringing his blade low to block with a sudden wall of water, probably formed from the moisture in the air. Unfortunately, Prince just jetted right through, raising a blade to Blue's neck. The beaver had no way of retaliation without getting cut, so…

"Prince wins," Rio says, going to meet the two. Blue had grown quite a bit over the past few weeks. The Masters could work some magic, that was for sure… or maybe it was his Legend? Probably some mix of both.

Blue sheathed his blade as Prince took the Razor Shell from his neck. The beaver sighed.

"Thank you for the match…" he said quietly.

"You got loads better," Prince cut him off. "Won't have to protect ya as much in there at this rate."

"That Zubat wouldn't stand the ghost of a chance," Rio added on with a lazy yawn.

"...thanks…" he relented. "Speaking of… Prince, can you tell us what to expect? I've only ever heard old legends about the Temple…

"I've heard less," Rio added on, sitting on the deck. "I'm curious."

"Yeah sure,' Prince sat in a cross legged position. "Making excellent time anyway, I can spare a story or two."

Rio watched as Blue sat himself, taking out a quill and his fathers journal. The pursuit of knowledge never ended apparently. The fluffy hybrid let out a lazy smile at that while Prince just stared.

"...what?" Blue asked. "Until we free Manaphy, you're the closest thing we have to a primary source on one of the ancient wonders of the world! Of course I'm going to take notes. I'd kick myself if I didn't."

"...fair 'nough," Prince shrugged. "Alright, where to start…"

"How was it created?" Blue suggested. "Did Manaphy do it himself? His subjects, the Phionie? How long has it existed exactly? What's it made of? How does it submerge-"

"Woah, woah!" Prince raised his paws in surrender. "One at a time! Don't even know most of that."

"Oh…" Blue sighed, and Rio could feel his embarrassment like warm water at the back of his head.

"...most of that?" Rio points out for the beaver's benefit.

"Can let a few things slip," Prince nods. "Sit down, get your quills ready."

Blue did exactly that, his binder out in a flash and ready to write. Rio grinned and sat down to listen himself. This should be quite interesting…

"Alright, so when humans were still around, there was this group called the People of the Sea…"

…​

That night, Rio found himself meditating. The Masters had suggested it more and more, to constantly cycle his Aura and to prevent it from blowing holes in and around various things. He sat on the bowsprit, the ocean churning below him as he focused on himself, and the aura of everything around him.

His own Aura felt like it usually did, a thin veil of calm masking an enormous, unstoppable storm. And even that hid something… deeper… and deeper… something he didn't like to focus on too much, so he moved on.

Blue was asleep below deck, and Rio could feel his fear and curiosity in equal measure. Even while he slept… and then there was that other part of him… the mostly dormant part. Resolve was what he felt there… Was that the Legend? It was probably Keldeo, according to Blue…

Prince slept up in the captain's quarters. Excitement and anticipation radiated strongly off his fellow hybrid. He could guess why. That warm foreign Aura was almost imperceptible, the signs an almost complete Legacy… he was glad to help in truth.

The crew slept soundly below deck. He'd ask why no one was keeping watch, but remembered that was technically what he was doing. Plus, this boat was sailed by what was basically the prince of the seas. Nothing was going to mess with them… neither weather nor other mon, hopefully.

…well the possibility of pirates was real-

And then he felt it. The immensely powerful Aura surfacing nearby. Something big and powerful was surfacing, and it didn't exactly feel friendly. No… it was greedy, vengeful… and it was coming right for them.

Rio jumped back on the deck proper, just summoning his Bone Rush when the figure in question showed herself. The large Feraligatr loomed over the smaller, fluffy dog and his stick, piercing yellow eyes glaring down at him. The tattered vest and red bandana went well with her blue body, and the strange, red markings running along her arms and chest. He… thought he recognized those. The gator gave the uncowed Riolu a cruel smile.

"Where's the captain, kid?" she asked, cracking her knuckles. The sea seemed to churn with her words, but Rio didn't let himself be cowed. He just kept glaring with defiance.

"Sleeping," he shoots back, now casually twirling his Bone. "It's the middle of the night, and sailing's hard, get me?"

"Oh I get that much," the massive croc said, the smile traded in for a glare. "But I'm on the clock for something, so I wanna settle this right now."

"Tough shit," he shrugged. "Leave a message?"

"Sure," she raised a claw, and the ocean churned nearby, a claw of water rising from the briny depths to loom over the smaller dog. "How's about I write it in your blood?"

Rio stared at the claw of water. This was suddenly reminding him of a certain incident not too long ago, with a Tyranitar with similar control over the earth. That and the markings made their situation a bit clearer…

Be a good fight at least.

"Good luck," he shoots back, staff in an attack position. Before either of them could actually do anything however-

"Not on my ship you bloody won't!"

Rio had been so focused on the crocodile and her powerful Aura, he hadn't noticed the other powerful Aura approaching. Prince's wasn't as strong, but considering what they were probably dealing with that made a lot of sense. Blue was right behind him, sword already drawn to his credit. He paused at the sight of the giant intruder, however.

"There you are," the Feraligatr turned to face Prince, her cruel smile coming right back to where it was. "The little freak of a Prince."

"Harley," he yawned, walking up with a Scalchop already in hand. "Did ya get taller, or are all those bottles of rum finally just giving you the belly you deserve?"

"Funny," she growled down at the Hybrid, fully disregarding the Riolu and Bidoof. "If you're offering, I won't turn it down, but I'm gonna need a fair few more than a few bottles now."

"You get nothing and you'll like it." he said flatly. "Or do you want what I gave ya last time?"

"Please," Harley shook her large head. "I think you'll have a bit of a harder time now… I know you noticed."

"I did." he admits. "So, why haven't you sunk us yet?"

"I want you to sweat," she grinned and turned to jump back into the sea. The water claw fell back. "Watch that shell, and your little upstart. Remind me of…"

She glared at the Riolu Hybrid, and Rio just glared back. He could take her, he was sure of it. Still, he held himself. Not yet…

"You-" Rio started, but Prince cut him off.

"Bye Harley," he growled, waving her off the ship with a shell. She flipped him off, and jumped back into the sea, a splash bigger than she should have. Rio stood still as the boat rocked under the force of her exit, next to Prince. It as then that Blue joined him, staring in horror at what they just saw.

"...Please tell me she's not…" he said after a while, as the rocking calmed down.

"Never been much of a liar," Prince sighed. "That was Harley… and apparently she's taken to being like us…"

"And she's so very pleasant…" Rio growled.

"...she's like Veles… and her Legend-" Blue started again.

"Yes, it's Kyogre, and we're on the open seas." Prince nods.

"...oh. And she hates… both of you."

"Yup."

"...Eh." Rio shrugged, feeling the presence swim away. "Still got a job to do, and if she gets in the way…"

"Nothing's gonna stop me," Prince said, voice hard as he stared at the sea. Rio could feel the determination, along with Blue's terror. That pushed the curiosity out for now…

This mission somehow got a lot more interesting…
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, it's been -checks notes- a while since I last reviewed this story, but I did remember having a lot of fun with it, and teed it up as part of my Reading Rookidee material on TR as of late.

Been a bit scatterbrained and tight on time and energy this past week, but these chapters have always been fun and approachable, so sounds like as good a reason as any to dive in with…

Chapter 4

When Blue asked for a meal, he was expecting something more substantial. It didn't have to be fancy, he just expected something grander than roasted berries on a stick.

I mean, was he really expecting better considering the level of organization that Team Disaster has? :V

He watched as Rio stuck their expensive ingredients on dry sticks, and stood them by the fire. They surrounded the moderately sized blazevegetarian on one side, and meat on the other. At least he knew to separate them. Judging by the pile of sticks next to him, he was gonna make a lot. Scales' suggestion for a celebration feast must have appealed to the Riolu.

At first, I thought that this was the cover art, but no, they've got stew there, so this is different. Even if it gives off similar vibes.

I'd suggest using an emdash for the bit about the moderately sized blaze and the food arrangement, though, since it's an abrupt cutoff and jump in ideas.

The moon shone down on the clearing as their food cooked. Scales drooled next to him, just getting back from dragging all the trash away. His punishment for buying so much. Pana just watched as she munched on her bamboo. Blue just sat there, waiting for his hosts to give the go-ahead.

Pana: "... Seriously, Scales?"
:eltyunamused:

Scales: "What? Stuff smells great!" ^^

"You're free to take one," Rio said to Blue. "We've got plenty."

Scales immediately jumped on that offer, grabbing a meaty skewer. Blue wondered if he had sensed his intentions. Sensing emotions was a vague power. Did it include intentions? Physical feelings? Did he have to interpret? Could he sense the source of his emotions?

"Take one, and you can ask all the questions you want," Rio said, grabbing a meat-and-berry-laden skewer. Blue really wasn't comfortable with how easily this team could read him, but food was food. He grabbed a skewer in his mouth and walked away from the fire, biting into one of the skewered berries. The heat really brought out its flavor.

Wait, but isn't that just Rio who's reading him (presumably through aura)? But it's still a nice touch, though it makes me wonder just how granular aura senses are for Riolu and Lucario in this setting in terms of picking up thoughts and intentions.

"So," Blue began, deciding to avoid the subject of Rio's senses for the time being. "Why move to Wonder City?"

"It was far away from home, mostly," Scales answered, already grabbing another skewer. Arceus Almighty, he could eat!

I can already tell that there's more behind that statement than Scales let on given how these guys were talking about their mentors in prior chapters.

"And the other part?"

"Dungeons," Rio chimed in, eating at a slower rate. "A lot have popped up around here, right?"

"New ones being discovered every day." Blue bit into another berry, savoring the hot and juicy fruit. "And no one knows why."

Blue: "Um... should I be concerned about that? Since from the way you're talking about them, it sounds like I should be concerned about that." ^^;

"Any theories?" Pana asked, grabbing her own skewer.

"I have my own," Blue said, happy to share. It wasn't often he had an attentive audience to hear him talk, especially when there was almost nothing to go on. "But they're more educated guesses."

Image


Color me interested, since the fact that this is getting delved into implies that they'll be a decently important part of the plot.

"Let's hear em," Rio said.

"This has happened before," Blue eagerly started. "Usually before some kind of horrific disaster."

"Like that Stone Plague?" Pana asked.

"Exactly."

Blue: "... I'm sorry, why do we want to be anywhere near here again if there's horrific disaster looming on the horizon?"
:fearfullaugh~1:

Pana: "Because bold of you to assume that you'll just be able to run away from it."

Though this is why the gang’s called 'Team Disaster', isn't it?

"Wasn't that a century ago?" Scales asked, grabbing a third skewer.

"I don't think the end of the world keeps to a strict schedule," Rio said, grabbing another skewer for himself.

Wait, so the Stone Plague would've been the end of the world had it not been interrupted? Or is the present disaster they're trying to stave off this apocalypse?

"Dungeons have been popping up all over," Blue continued. "It's been going on for a few years now, the longest time this phenomenon has lasted in recorded history. The only reason this city exists is because of the record number of Dungeons."

inb4 it becomes a Dungeon later in the story. Though assuming you can yoink goodies from those, it sounds very high-risk, high-reward, so I can buy settlements popping up around such Dungeons.

"You think another catastrophe's coming?" Rio asked.

"I hope not," Blue answered, gnawing on his bare skewer. He hadn't even noticed he finished it. "From what I've read, it could range from a natural disaster so bad to could wipe out a continent to the collapse of an important law of reality."

... I just realized, but like the last nine paragraphs have been close to pure dialogue. I kinda wonder if it'd have made sense to drop in some body language internal thoughts from Blue or one of the other characters. Especially since the latter could've also been used towards the ends of providing exposition.

"Don't humans usually come and fix those?" Pana asked, handing him another skewer. He took it and continued.

"I've never taken stock in those parts of the stories myself, but if a law of the universe can break then I guess anything's possible."

Oh, so this setting also operates under the mechanic of summoned human heroes. Makes me wonder if Team Disaster will come across one, or if they'll have to wing it alone.

"Then, is there any consistency?' Pana continued. "Any connecting factor?"

Blue thought about that for a moment. There were a lot of theories to the cause of the dungeons, but there was one he thought was strange:

"The Legendaries," he proposed. "Nobody's seen them since the Dungeons started popping up. Usually you hear some stories, like Latias visiting some random town, or the Tapu's visiting their people, but no one's seen them in years. It's like they vanished."

Which means that this is almost certainly a directly correlated phenomenon.

That changed the mood. Blue caught the three exchanging glances, but not for more than a second. Another question, but he wouldn't get the chance to ask it.

"How well do you know the area?" Rio asked.

Blue: "... What brings this up again?" ^^;
Rio: "Call it curiosity. But yeah, how well do you know the area around here?"

"Pretty well. I find new Dungeons, tell the guild, and then they pay me."

"You don't go in?"

"Alone?" Blue let out a harsh laugh. "Nobody wants a weight around their neck if they're drowning. I'm a liability at best."

Ouch. That can't be good for Blue's self-esteem there.

[ ]

"You never tried?"

"I did, once. It was the only reason I lost my stone. Never again." Getting robbed had taught him his lesson. He just wasn't meant to be an explorer. He knew that now.

IMO this would've worked a bit better with some body language from Rio like raising a brow or something like that.

"Why not?" Blue looked up at Rio, who was grabbing another skewer. He just kept staring at Blue, as if he could see something he couldn't. Which he guessed he could, judging by that light he was talking about.

"Why not what?"

"Why never again?"

This... is a touchy subject for Blue, isn't it?

Blue felt the answer to that was pretty obvious. He was weak, useless, dead weight. He couldn't even report the bastards who mugged him before three random Pokemon move in and do it for him! Blue felt like he was less than nothing.

IMO, this would've had more of a punch if we got to see Blue's mood take more of a turn earlier, since he clearly has some self-confidence issues. Though it makes me wonder how much of this Rio is picking up on in live-time.

"I'm just no good at it," he said, swallowing what he really wanted to say.

"No one starts out good."

[ ]

"That's rich coming from you."

Another part that would've benefitted from some described reaction from Blue, like visibly double-taking at Rio or something like that. I kinda wonder if Pana and Scales faded a little too much to the background in all of this though.

Though I get a feeling that Blue getting gud at dungeoneering is going to be a bit of a character arc for him, since... yeah, I can see that cover art, and he won't be going anywhere from this team for a while.

[ ]

"You think we just popped out of the womb, instantly kicking ass?"

"Pretty sure I was hatched," Scales jumped in.

[ ]

"Not important! We didn't start out strong."

Another bit where I can see a couple places that would've benefitted from some body language added. Though Scales' interjection gave me a giggle.
:loltias:


"Then how did you get there?" Blue was finally getting an answer to why he was here in the first place! How were they so strong?

"We had help. Do you want some?"

"What do you mean?"

"Wanna join Team Disaster?"

Pana: "Blue, we've literally known this Bidoof for all of half a day!" >.<
Rio: "Yeah? And? He knows the area and how to find unmapped dungeons. We were in the market for someone like that, weren't we?"
:gardeshrug~1:


Blue's eyes widened at that. Rio just invited him onto this team like it was nothing! This team, the one that destroyed an entire bandit gang!

He stared at Rio, waiting for a punchline, but none came. He just ate his third skewer while Blue processed the offer.

"I'm not screwing with you," Rio continued. "And I don't think anyone here would say no, right?"

Pana: "..."
:eltyunamused:

Rio: "Come on, Pana. Be a team player here."

"I'm fine with it," Scales said, eating his fifth skewer.

"He helped us with the base," Pana added. "If you weren't gonna invite him I was. Plus we obviously need extra eyes on you idiots."

"Seriously?" Blue asked, not even trying to hide his disbelief. "Just like that? Why?"

Pana: "I mean, it would be nice to not have to constantly babysit Rio and Scales to keep them through burning through our budget every other day." >_>;
Blue: "I'm... making a terrible mistake here, aren't I?"
:fearfullaugh~1:


"Why not?" Rio shot back.

"Why not? I'm a liability at best! I can't add anything!"

Rio: "Based off of...?" :?
Blue: "Uh... er... w-well..."

"You know the area well, you seem to have more info on the world than we do, and I know someone like you didn't tell the guild about every Dungeon you found."

Rio was right about that one. There was a part of him that wanted to go in himself and pry out their secrets, but he had accepted that as an impossibility. Until now, apparently.

Can't tell whether that was a great or absolutely terrible idea there of Blue to withhold that information. But hey, whatever's in there is now all his and Team Disaster's for the taking.

"Even if you didn't have anything," Rio continued. "we'd still be happy to have you. You in?"

Blue looked around the fire. They were all staring at him, waiting for his response. It was then that he knew they were serious. They'd accept him. He could feel tears welling behind his eyes.

"Of course!" Blue accepted. This was quite literally the best thing to happen to him in years. He had a team! "Thank you!"

:ZangooseHug:


Honestly a pretty cute moment.

"Then welcome to this mess we call a team," Pana said, grinning at him. "What do you guys wanna do tomorrow? Another job, or one of those unknown Dungeons?"

"We're good on money right now," Rio said. "And a Dungeon is the best place to see what Blue can do."

Blue: "..."
:fearfullaugh~1:

Pana: "... I can already tell that I'm going to regret this." >_>;

"We'd have more if two idiots had a sliver of self-control," Pana added.

"What's done is done."

Blue's utter joy was replaced by confusion in a matter of seconds.

"Wait," he asked. "What do you mean?"

Oh, so Blue really is going to
:fearfullaugh~1:
-face in about five seconds, huh? :V

"Well, we need to see what you can do," Rio explained. "You're picking the Dungeon, and you'll be leading us through."

"Just like that?" Blue looked around at his new team, now all nodding. The confusion was quickly turning to terror.

Blue: "Oh gods."
:eltyscared:

Scales: "I mean, what did you think you were going to be doing after joining Team Disaster?" ^^;

"That's how we learned. Or we could just spend all day sparing. Your choice."

Remembering the bandit gang, Blue opted for the Dungeon. He had one he wanted to check out for ages. Still, he couldn't help but think this would be a disaster. At least it would be on-brand.

"I'll try not to disappoint."

Image


Though it'll have to wait for another time, since I'm a bit tapped out. But not before getting out the recap:

I gathered that this chapter was the one that properly brings the cast together and points them towards their objectives, and I thought it did a decent job of that with the overall tone of the story in mind, with a few touching notes to boot. I also liked the hints of worldbuilding that were mixed in, since I can already tell that stuff like the 'Stone Plague' or the humans mentioned in passing will be relevant at some point in the future, and it definitely has piqued my interest.

As for criticisms, I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned it in earlier chapters, but the number one thing that I felt was missing was a bit more description and body language. It was particularly noticeable in chunks of the campfire sequence since there were long stretches of it that were effectively just straight dialogue with little interleaved in between. Which was a bit of a shame since it could've been a good opportunity to give more hints and context about this story's setting and how it works.

But all-in-all, I thought you did a pretty good job @BlackHairedPsycho . And my only regret is that I hadn't gotten back into this story much earlier than this point, since it's certainly charming, and well-suited for nights like tonight where I'm a bit light on energy.

Til next time! ^^
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, originally wanted to do one last one of these in the leadup to RB4 on TR (not that I wasn't already planning on coming back for it), but better late than never. Jumping right back into things in the story with…

Chapter 5

Blue woke up excited, terrified, and with a slight stomach ache. He ate too many berries and sticks last night. It was a celebration, so who could blame him? He was finally a part of a team! He could go into dungeons and not get immediately annihilated! He could follow his dream!

That sounds like a bold assumption there given that all that sounds like tempting fate with stepping on a Warp Trap and suddenly getting separated from the 3 guys you're counting on hiding behind the entire time.

He looked outside the small window of his tiny shack and noticed the sun was high in the sky. How long had he been asleep? Would they be mad he slept in so late? They really didn't agree on a time, Rio just said to come back to the base with a Dungeon to go to. He had to hurry!

You're seriously worrying about Rio when Pana of
:panchamree:
fame is a thing, Blue? >:V

Clutching his marked map in his teeth, he rushed out of his small excuse for a home and rushed back to the treehouse, hoping his new friends wouldn't be too pissed.

Image


I mean, less because of Rio and Scales. I suspect they'll be alright. It's Pana that I expect to provide the entertainment.
:loltias:


He ran as fast as his stubby legs could take him. Unfortunately, Bidoof were not known for their speed so it was still at a slower pace than he would've liked. The contents of his stomach started to revolt from the constant shaking, but Blue powered through. He had to make it.

This kid's gonna have a hilarious disaster of a first mission, I can already tell.

When Blue did reach the treehouse, he noticed that no one was outside yet. The remains of their dinner weren't even cleaned up. The firepit Rio dug out still had the charred remains of sticks, and the skewers still littered the area. A waste of good wood, in Blue's opinion.

So how long is it going to take before Team Disaster's basement fills up with garbage all over again at this rate anyways? o<o

He quickly ran up to the door and lightly shoved it, enough to make an audible sound. He waited, and waited, and shoved the door again. With no answer, Blue's mind raced. Had they changed their mind and left without him? Was he off the team because he overslept? Had he lost his chance at living his dream?

inb4 they're all still asleep themselves right now.

Just as Blue was about to completely lose his cool, the door opened. Scales yawned as he stared at the Bidoof.

"Well, you're early," the Hakamo-o said, waving him in.

Lol, I knew it.

"It's almost noon," Blue said as he put the map down. They slept in even later than he did? He expected early risers out of fighters of their caliber, but he wasn't complaining.

I'm honestly a little surprised that Pana isn't the odd duck out given how much she harps on Rio and Scales for being devil-may-care types, but guess she's a Team Disaster member through and through herself.
:bleplithe:


"Seriously?" Scales asked, taking a peek outside. After verifying the position of the sun, he ducked back into the treehouse. "Huh. So that's what waking up on your own feels like."

... Maybe I spoke too soon about Pana there. Though that makes me wonder what on earth happened to those two such that they didn't get Scales up if they're normally his alarm clock.

Blue took a loom around the formally empty room. Pots of water and the remaining food from last night sat in next to the ladder. The treasure bag Rio carried was packed with food and seeds, ready for an expedition.

... I'm surprised that they're actually all ready to go like this. I suspect that this was Pana's doing there.

"Are Rio and Pana up yet?" Blue asked after a while.

"Nope," Scales answered. "I just woke up, and they usually wake me."

Blue: "... How on earth does your team get anything done?"
:what:

Scales: "Don't ask me. We just do."
:joltyshrug~1:


"So, should we wait?"

[ ]

"Fuck no. We gotta see what you can do! WAKE UP!"

The shout shook the tree and Blue to their very core. He heard Scales's species could get loud but he hadn't expected it, especially since he just said he just woke up. He stared at the Hakamo-o, who shrugged.

I kinda wonder if Scales' line would've worked better with it split into two and him turning his head to roar his teammates awake or something. Also, him giving some sort of reaction back to Blue such as an annoyed expression or an impish grin might've leaned in harder with the comedy value. Though I suppose that answers the question of how on earth these three get each other up. Wonder how much of a set of pipes Rio and Pana have on their ends.

"I take shit from them constantly, so any payback is good payback."

Kek. You see, I was expecting something like this would be happening with Team Disaster. I just wasn't expecting Scales to do the honors here.

After a few seconds, Blue heard two small groans coming from up the ladder. After a little time, Pana jumped down to the floor below. She looked fine, minus her tired eyes.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked Scales.

Scales:
Image


"Next time, remember I'm not a Grimer." Scales shot back.

[ ]

"Next time don't drop ten thousand on food!" "It's too early for this," Rio's voice came from above. "Shut up!"

Would've probably been a little funnier if you dropped in a note about how Pana's expression is at the moment since I'd assume that she probably is just a few clicks removed from
:panchamree:
for real right now. :P

He slowly climbed down, the scowl on his face far removed from his calm demeanor from yesterday. There was also the fact that his fur was matted and unkempt. It stuck out at odd angles, some even standing up. Blue could tell where he slept based on how flat the fur was on that side. Half of that silver mane of his was completely flat. It was clear Rio wasn't a morning Pokemon.

Blue: "... Wait, you have a silver mane?" .-.
Rio: "I do now. Not that the stress from crap like this helps." >_>;

What really bothered Blue was the large, nasty scar along the side of his uncovered neck. Fur didn't grow around it, only raw pink flesh. That silver fur of his covered it normally, but the massive injury was on full display due to his messy sleeping.

Blue:
:wtfuckle:

Rio: "Just a flesh wound. Don't worry about it."
Blue: "I'm... suddenly not feeling as confident about that first mission anymore."
:uhhh:


"It's almost noon," Blue repeated, forcing himself to look away. Rio and Pana seemed to wake up at this. They stared at the Bidoof, then back at each other.

"Seriously?" Rio asked. Blue just nodded as the Riolu literally shook himself awake. His silver mane fell back into place at that, covering the enormous scar. He still looked like he lost a wrestling match with a Lickitung, but at least he couldn't stare at the pink spot. "Well, let's get going then."

Wait, is that 'mane' thing supposed to be that 'collar' on Riolu's design? Not sure if there's any significance to it being silver when in official art it's usually yellowish, but duly noted if so.

"You don't want to wake up first?" Blue asked. He seemed drowsy at best, but Rio waved off his concerns.

"I'll wake up on the way," He reassured the Bidoof. "Speaking of, where are we going?"

This mission is going to go totally fine™️, I can already tell.

Rio wasn't sure what he was expecting when he let Blue choose the Dungeon. Last night, he sensed excitement and fear in equal measures from the Bidoof. Based on this Rio thought he'd choose a relatively easy Dungeon or an extremely interesting one.

Blue chose the equivalent of Purity Forest in his setting for a first jaunt, didn't he?

Based on its entrance, Blue opted for the interesting. The cave entrance looked like a giant mouth, with the sharp stalactites on top acting as teeth. It wasn't large, but it wasn't small either. Blue had hidden it for later, with trees in the way to hide the entrance. Their bases were out of sight, but if one looked you could see the bite marks the Bidoof made to get them into position. It wasn't obviously hidden, but you wouldn't see it if you didn't know what you were looking for.

"I haven't gone far in," Blue said. "But it's definitely a Dungeon. No idea what ferals are in there."

Rio: "(Boy does this guy know how to pick 'em...) Uh... Blue? Need I remind you that this is your first Dungeon you're going in? You're sure you want to go in this one?"
:riOMEGAlu:


"Let's find out then," Rio said. "Lead the way."

Well. Never mind, then. Guess we're just going to trial and error the ominous-looking cave of peril and/or doom. ^^;

"You were serious about that?" Rio could feel Blue's fear starting to overwhelm his curiosity. That wouldn't be good in a Dungeon. "I'm not sure this is a great idea, especially since it's my first Dungeon."

Rio: "Then why did you lead us here?"
:lucariwhat:

Blue: "I-I thought you'd speak up in protest or something!"
:ohnowen:


"We're right behind you," Rio assured him. "And you gotta start somewhere."

Image


Scales and Pana nodded in agreement. Blue took a deep breath, and Rio felt the fear shrink a little. His control over his emotions surprised the Riolu. It wasn't easy to suppress strong emotions like that. He would know.

... Can't tell if that's a healthy sign of Blue's or not. Though I'll admit that I was fully expecting him to freak out more after getting told "yeah, that works" from his teammates.

"Let's go before I lose my nerve," Blue said, walking into the mouth-cave. The rest of Team Disaster followed closely behind.

Oh yeah, this will end WELL™️. Totally.

It looked like a normal cave for at least a little. Damp, dripping puddles of water, stalactites on the ceiling and floor. The cave seemed to stretch longer than it should've, which made sense since it was a Dungeon. When Rio felt the residents' Aura pop into existence he knew they entered the Dungeon proper. He turned around to see the cave entrance disappear as if it never existed. The way that happened in Mystery Dungeons always interested him.

Would expand the last sentence a bit in order to make it more explicit what "that" is there, though I'm starting to see how Rio was a-OK with waving Blue onboard his team given that he's got an apparent fascination with these places.

Their enemies weren't in the room they appeared in, much to Blue's obvious relief. It looked like the rest of the cave did, with three branching paths in front of them. The stone Blue kept in his bandana glowed in the darkness of the cave, but that didn't seem to be much of an issue for anyone. Rio really wanted to ask Blue what exactly that thing was, but he didn't need any more distractions.

Oh, so Blue is functionally the team's lower-screen map and can sense the presences of nearby Pokémon even before they enter visual range. Noted for the future.

"Which way?" Scales asked, looking around.

Rio watched as Blue looked at each way to go. He seemed calm on the outside, but Rio could feel Blue's Aura, like a serpent coiling around the Bidoof's body, just writhing. He was very nervous, to say the least.

You should swap out that one 'his' for 'Blue's' there since at first I read that as Rio forcing his aura onto Blue and making him
:wtfuckle:
in response. Which would've been hilarious for completely different reasons.

"Middle," Blue said suddenly, taking the lead. Without question, the rest of Team Disaster followed.

I kinda wonder if at some point prior to this, Rio or one of the other members of TD should've reiterated that it was up to Blue to choose where to go since this is his test/initiation, since I admittedly double-took at how everyone just went after him without saying a word there.

Rio walked right behind Blue, with Pana right behind him and Scales leading up the rear. The path sloped downwards for a bit but evened out not long after. The Auras Rio felt vanished as they entered the next floor.

Oh, so no stairs in this setting, but still a distinct notion of different "floors" huh?

Rio wasn't quite sure how Dungeons worked, no one did, but he had noticed some things. When a Pokemon entered a Dungeon, all access to the outside world was suddenly cut off. For any sensory Pokemon, it was like everything just vanished behind them. The phenomenon continued the deeper a Pokemon goes into the Dungeon. After some undefined point, be it going down or up, the phenomenon would repeat itself, and whatever was left behind would just vanish while floors would appear. This repeats Over and over again until you reached the end, and then got out.

The verb tense for this paragraph was a little iffy to me since Rio started the paragraph in past tense and then a huge chunk of it was in present tense. I made some suggestions to rephrase everything into past tense, though otherwise, switch it all over to present.

The new Auras were much closer now, and one was approaching fast.

"Something's coming," Rio warned. He felt Blue's Aura shudder in fear.

Rio: "Blue, I just want to remind you that you insisted that we come here."
:what:

Blue: "Yeah, don't remind me..."
:eltyscared:


"Are you gonna help me?" he asked the group behind him.

"If you need it," Rio assured him. "Now look alive."

Blue: "WHAT?! Why on earth would you-?!"
:AlviseScared:

Scales: "Well, how else are we supposed to see the stuff you can do?" ^^
Blue: "Oh dear gods, why me?"
:uhhh:


The next room they entered was small. While it looked like everything else in here, the feral Pokemon that flew on the other side was a change of pace. The Zubat hovered, mouth agape and screeching. It was safe to say this one was feral.

"All yours," Pana encouraged Blue.

The Bidoof glanced back at his team, which was his first mistake. Rio remembered his first lesson from the Masters. Always be aware of your opponent. Never lose track. He then remembered the painful practice that followed to reinforce that lesson. He rubbed at his neck, feeling for the scar that lied under the mess of silver fur.

... Wow, those Masters sound like abusive dicks. No wonder why those three are completely uneager to run back into them again.

Though I'd recommend hacking off Pana's line from the rest of the following paragraph.

The Zubat dove at Blue, taking clear advantage of his lapse in focus. The Bidoof turned just in time to see its fangs plunge into his head.

"OW!" Blue yelled, trying to shake the bat Pokemon off.

He ran around in circles shaking, trying to fling the bat off, and it worked after a few tries. The Zubat went flying off of Blue, but it quickly regained its balance in the air. The bite marks seemed to pulse as the Bidoof tried to calm down, now glaring at the Zubat.

Team Disaster:
:eltyunamused:

Blue: "I-It's harder than it looks, alright?!" >.<

A few tense seconds passed, then Blue jumped up at the Zubat. It was its turn to be caught off guard by the sudden Headbutt slamming into it. The Zubat fell to the ground, twitching. It wasn't enough for a knockout, but he did stun it.

Instead of finishing it, Blue stared at his enemy as it recovered. It was clear the Bidoof needed some prodding. Another place for improvement.

Rio: "Seriously, Blue?"
:eltywtf:

Blue: "You know, most tutorial missions have instructions to follow! A few from you would be helpful right about now!" >_>;

"Finish it!" Scales shouted. Blue's eyes flickered away for a second and went back to the Zubat. Rio was glad he learned his lesson about keeping an eye on the enemy.

Blue ran forward and Tackled the Zubat. It flew backward a few feet and lied still. Knockout. Blue sighed in relief and turned back to the team.

Blue: "Oh thank goodness that's over."
:sweats:


"Horrible, right?" he asked.

"Terrible," Pana said casually.

"Very bad," Scales confirmed.

"Can't argue with that," Rio added. He felt Blue's absolute despair in his Aura.

Well, you can't say that TD doesn't call things how they see 'em. Though I kinda wonder if Blue should've been more hesitant / worried when being described turning back, since it feels a bit weird for him to be relieved and then instantly turn around and expect a negative reception when one would expect some nervousness / "oh god"-ness to accompany that normally.

[ ]

"I understand if you don't want me anymore-" Blue started.

Would work better if there were some more description of Blue looking away or something like that here, IMO. Basically to let the despair sink in for him a bit harder.

"The point of this exploration," Rio cut him off, trying to curb that negative line of thinking. "Is to figure out your strengths and weaknesses. We're not gonna kick you out over this."

He could still feel Blue's shame, but it was masked by focus yet again. Another strength.

"Sorry," Blue continued. "Let's keep going."

Blue: "Why did you let me come here then?!" >.<
Rio: "Because we need to be able to assess how well you can gauge your own strength and abilities? That's part of getting a feel for what you can do, too, you know."
:eltywtf:

Blue: "Yay me."
:PyroseDespair:


The rest of the Dungeon was uneventful to Rio. They found some small trinkets, like berries and coins, and Blue struggled with enemies, but it was basically smooth sailing, minus Blue's struggles.

So how much of that uneventful run had Blue screaming and running around like a beheaded Torchic in the background anyways?
:LULgia:


What really surprised Rio was how little he had to jump in. Sure, Blue made some serious mistakes at first, but he showed that he learned from them. He never lost focus on an enemy, and he now capitalized on every stun. The damage he did was almost nothing, so it was probably a good thing this did seem to be a low-level Dungeon. They had only seen Zubats and the occasional Diglett.

Wow. Can't say I was expecting that from the rookie with close to zero dungeoneering experience, but I suppose he did need a plot way to catch up with the others on TD in short order.

Blue's constant fights brought another problem of his to the light. He panted as he walked, trying to power through his exhaustion. His stamina was pitiful. Every move the Bidoof used seemed to take so much out of him. New moves and stamina would be a priority.

Superfluous word and a small typo there. Though I'm wondering how adjusting stamina and moves works in this setting anyways.

Rio knew when they had reached the end of the Dungeon. As they entered the last room he could suddenly feel Auras coming from the outside, meaning there was an exit nearby. The contents of the room gave off that vibe as well, but another confirmation was nice.

Wait, doesn't that also mean that there's Pokémon nearby outside? Not sure if that's necessarily a good sign depending on how ferals or Outlaws work in this setting.

The only thing in the large room they walked into was a small, silvery chest with gold handlebars sitting in the middle. There were no other visible paths. It just sat there, ripe for the taking. Blue was eyeing it, looking at everything but the chest. The Bidoof walked slowly towards the chest, eyes glued to the floor. His focused Aura startled the Riolu.

I smell a Monster House here.

"What are you doing?" Rio asked.

"Checking for traps," Blue answered without looking up. "I need to know if the chest is safe before I take it. You don't check?"

Scales: "Wait, you're supposed to check for traps first?"
:joltyshrug~1:

Blue: "... I'm just going to take that as a 'no'." -_-;

"We just get Scales to do it," Pana explained. "He's usually too tanky to be hurt by them."

"Usually," Scales snorted in response.

I mean, not the answer I was expecting, but it's still decently snerk-worthy there. :V

"Where'd you learn how to do that?"

Blue was right next to the box now, carefully checking the surrounding ground.

"I read about it," he answered. "There are faint patterns or buttons. Like this one on the back."

Blue: "Really, isn't that something that a team like you would do in your spare time?" ^^;
Team Disaster:
:uhhh:


Rio quickly walked over, and his teammates weren't far behind. He could see what the Bidoof was talking about, a faded circle surrounded by squares of various sizes. He'd actually seen them on other chests before, but he thought they were decorative.

Oh boy, I can tell that these guys' past runs were quite something.
:fearfullaugh~1:


"If we touch this we might set off a trap," Blue explained. "I don't know what kind, but I'd rather not risk it. Might lose the treasure, and the box looks pretty valuable too."

Rio noticed Pana's aura shift from mild interest to extreme greed, but her face hid it well.

Rio: "Pana, no-" >_>;
Pana: "Oh come on, don't you wanna know what's in this thing, Rio?"
Scales: "Also, the next chapter's title is 'What's in the Box?', so..."
Rio: "Oi! No peeking ahead!"
:tessANGRY:


"How do we move it then?" she asked, casually. Her Aura told Rio she was desperate to know, but Blue didn't need to know that.

"I think we'll be fine as long as no one actually touches the symbol," Blue said. "It shouldn't be a problem when we're out. Unfortunately, I don't have thumbs, or anything resembling thumbs."

This is going to be easier said than done, isn't it?

"I got it," Scales said, stepping forward. He grabbed the box by one handle and lifted it. The click that followed stopped him in his tracks. It was double-trapped. Because of course it was.

Scales: "Oh boy is this gonna suck-"
:ohnowen:


An Aura appeared behind the wall they were staring at, eclipsing Rio's teammates. It was all he could focus on. He couldn't call it hostile, but it definitely wasn't happy. Before he could warn his teammates the wall fell away, and a Sableye stepped into the room.

Scales: "Oh thank goodness, it's just a Sableye. We can handle one feral Sableye.
:blazisweat~1:


He looked to be about Pana's height, and he already wore her frown. His light-purple body stood straight up, and his gemstone eyes were tinted pink. The gem that grew out of his chest was diamond-shaped. He didn't look intimidating, but that Aura told Rio to be careful.

"Congratulations," he said in a flat, deadpan voice. "You are the first team to have descended into this Dungeon. I am impressed by your skills."

-blinks-

Can't say I was expecting that. Though I'm not convinced that this guy is good news to be around.

He didn't seem very impressed as he stepped to the side, revealing a stone staircase leading upwards and out of the Dungeon.

"This is my home," the Sableye continued in the same deadpan voice. "So I would appreciate it if you could keep this place a secret and not come back. The treasure box and its contents should be a satisfactory exchange for that."

... The guy's a hardened Outlaw of some sort, isn't he? Since it just feels so many levels of suspicious that he's willing to let this box go in return for TD's silence.

As Rio struggled to process the overwhelming Aura he was sensing, he realized something. All he could tell about the Aura was that it was overwhelming. He couldn't tell if he was lying, he couldn't sense any emotional shifts, hell he couldn't even tell where the Sableye came from! There was probably more to the Dungeon. He'd never felt anything like this. This was new, a challenge he'd never seen, and a tough one at that!

That got Rio very excited, but Blue responded before he could.

"Who are you?" the Bidoof asked. "You don't look like a normal Sableye."

Rio: "Dammit Blue, really?" >.<

"Rude," the Sableye responded. "The same is true for your Riolu friend, is it not?"

That drew Rio's attention away from the Aura, for a moment at least.

"You're a hybrid?" Blue asked. Rio didn't know what the Bidoof was implying, but he let the conversation continue. He'd ask later.

... Those exist in this setting? .-.

Or are those just Pokémon with cross-species parentage?

"No," the Sableye answered. "I will not give you my name, but you may leave with that box unharmed. Please, get out."

Oh yeah, that's not shifty and untrustworthy at all there.

With that, a hole opened under the Sableye and he fell through. Rio went to peer down, but the hole closed back up before he could take a look. The overwhelming Aura the Sableye produced was gone. He turned back to his friends, who shared the same emotion for once. Curiosity.

"He's hiding something big," Scales said. Everyone nodded in agreement as they walked up the staircase and out of the Dungeon.

Which I suppose is as good a sign as any that this isn't the last we've seen of pinkeye there, but I suppose that'll be a story for another day and another time.

Alright, time for the recap:

I kinda got the vibe that this was a bit of a transitional chapter, both in getting Blue properly onboard onto Team Disaster, and to tee up what I'm pretty sure is going to be their first arc quest, since there is exactly no way that that Sableye was a one-off. Even if it was a bit less off-the-wall than in past chapters, the humor was on-point as always, and hey, I wouldn't have wound up writing anywhere near as much as I did about this chapter if it were boring.

As for critiques, it can basically be summed up as "I wish there was some more description". Since as a story whose bread and butter is to get some lols in along the way of its broader quest in short, digestible chunks, it felt that there were a number of opportunities left on the table for the descriptive equivalent of visual gags such as focusing on character reactions or funny background events or the like. But eh, it still held up decently well even in its present state, so I won't judge too harshly.

Good show @BlackHairedPsycho , and I'll be looking forward to coming back to this story a few times during TR's upcoming Review Blitz. ^^
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, firing this up to poke my head in so that way I can pace myself with this story in the midst of Review Blitz and make sure it doesn't get crowded out by other stuff from it. Gonna be jumping right in where I left off with:

Chapter 6

Normally, Rio would enjoy spending a day by the river. The sun shone brightly in the sky, not a cloud in sight, the clean water shimmering with sunlight. The Riolu sat under a large tree next to the riverbank. It reminded him of his last home, with the Masters and his teammates.

There were only two things keeping him from fully enjoying this wonderful day.

Rio: "The creepy box we picked up from last chapter, and...?"

"AGAIN!" Scales shouted at Blue. He glanced to his side, watching the Bidoof suck in as much water as he could. Rio counted five gulps before he stopped, large cheeks bulging.

"FIRE!" Scales ordered. Blue spat the stream of water at a tree on the opposite bank with as much force as he could. The stream barely cleared the twenty foot gap between the riverbeds. An improvement from his last few attempts, but Rio could feel Blue's frustration building.

Wew, I never pegged Scales to be the 'drill sergeant' type, but the more you know.
:loltias:


Rio: "... Right, that would be a drag on the day. (Should've taken the day off in town.)"
:gardexhausted:


It had been a day since the Dungeon, and they got a few things done. Blue was officially registered as the newest member of Team Disaster, they all got their shiny new silver rank badges, and they had started Blue's training in earnest. After talking for a bit, it was decided that a new move would probably be the best thing to start with.

Actually, wait. Is rank collective to the teams in this setting, or is it based off of the highest rank holder on said team or something like that? e.x. if Blue ditched TD and tried to join another one, would he still keep his Silver Rank?

"Can someone please explain how this helps me learn Water Gun?" He was surprised Blue waited so long to ask, but it was a good question.

Scales: "When you use muscles enough, it builds up muscle memory?" ^^
Blue: "Look, I'm pretty sure that Water Gun isn't supposed to involve drinking the water you spit out beforehand!" >.<

"It's getting your body used to the move," Rio explained. "Do it enough and you should pick it up early."

Scales: "Close enough, really."
:gardeshrug~1:

Blue: "... (Starting to get a feeling that joining this team was a bad idea.)" >.<

"And you're sure this'll work? I'm not sure it's physically possible for me to learn a water move yet."

Scales: "I mean, if it doesn't, it'll prepare you for when you can use it?" ^^
Blue: "..."
:WHY:


Staff, Rio thought. His staff flashed into existence. He held the bone staff up, watching it glow in the shade.

"It worked for me," Rio explained. "Bone Rush is a Lucario move, but I was able to pick it up. Had to spin a stick around for weeks. Why not you and Water Gun?"

Blue: "Oh, I don't know, because I'm a foot-tall beaver and not a jackal with magical feelings powers?!" >.<
Rio: "Oi, it's called aura! And if you're going to be on this team, you can at least try out the advice we have!"
:REEolu:


"I guess that makes sense. Any luck with that thing?"

Rio scowled as he turned back to look at the stupid treasure chest. It wouldn't be hard to break the lock off, but the problem was Pana. She was dead set on pawning it for as much as it was worth. He debated 'accidentally' dropping the box on a large rock. She wasn't around, searching for a Pokemon who could open the stupid thing, and they were the only sentient Pokemon around right now. The real prize was what was on the inside, not the box itself!

Some small verb tense errors there, though I kinda wonder if the "accidentally dropping" the box note should logically come some point after "oh, Pana went looking around for someone who could get into it" and not before.

"You think she'd buy that I dropped it?" Rio asked.

"I've known her for three days and I can confidently say absolutely not," Blue said before taking another drink.

inb4 these three wind up actually dropping it on accident at some point later.

Rio: "Well, it was worth a shot."
:wigglypensive:


"What he said," Scales said. "I'd just wait."

"But treasure!" Rio shouted, his frustration getting the better of him.

"Is it worth pissing Pana off?"

Scales: "Especially if that treasure is something really delicate? Pana would never let you hear the end of it!"
Rio: "Oh come on, it'd just be a little bump! She'd never know the difference-"
- Cue a ranting voice in the background -
Pana: "Rio, don't you dare try to force my box open while I'm gone!"
:panchamree:

Rio: "Okay, never mind."
:riohnolu:


Rio thought about that. The last time Pana got really mad he had to hide in a Dungeon for a week. It was part of the reason his Aura sense had gotten as strong as it had, else she would've maimed him more than he already was. On the other hand, mysterious treasure given to them by a mysterious off-color Sableye hiding mysterious secrets.

It was a hard choice. Maybe he could be more subtle about it?

Kek, at this rate, maybe Pana really is yelling at him to not mess with the box from the far distance / via aura.
:lultias:


Though IMO, the last two sentences work a bit better if they're their own paragraph.

Rio glanced back at his staff, glowing dimly in his paw. Summoning it was automatic now, as easy as flicking his tail. Could he also get it to curl?

Wait, Riolu/Lucario can do that with their Bone Clubs in this setting?

The Riolu held his staff in both paws and shut his eyes. He focused on how he used Bone Rush, with just a thought, a spark of Aura. He was never good at perceiving his own, but he could summon it in limited ways. He tried to focus on it, perceive the tiny spark of himself that went into the staff's creation.

That actually makes me wonder now if it's possible for a Riolu/Lucario to die from aura overexertion if their aura hard light stuff is literally parts of themselves.

As soon as he felt it Rio latched onto the feeling, refusing to let go. Shrink, he ordered. He felt the staff do just that. When he opened his eyes, the bone had halved it's length and thickness. It worked! He glared at the lock again, his idea coming to fruition. He held the bone up to the lock and ordered it to shrink again.

Huh, so Rio can alter the size and shape of his Bone Club. Noted, then.

It was much easier to do this time, shrinking it until it was small enough to fit inside the lock. He grinned as he implemented the next step.

Grow.

Image


Since, you know. This seems like a terrible idea that has really strong odds of forcing you to hide in a MD for a week again, Rio.

Unfortunately, it did its job too well. A loud snap cracked through the calm day as Rio broke the lock open from the inside. Rio let the thicker staff fade as he stared at the broken lock, on the verge of panic. He only meant for it to be slightly pushed open, letting it be a small break, not shatter its damned insides!

A minor nitpick, but I would suggest emphasizing the 'snap' in the prose.

Rio: "I am so dead right now."
:riOMEGAlu:


Scales and Blue turned back at the crack, only to see Rio quickly flip the top back on. He looked at the lock, and it was obvious that it was broken. Instead of a keyhole, there was just a perfect circle. If you looked into the lock itself you'd see the shape of the bone's end. It was too obvious to hide. Scales started laughing, as Blue stared wide-eyed at what the Riolu did. And then Blue launched his practice at Rio. The Riolu spluttered as the weak spray of water shot him in the neck. Right where his scar was.

Oh, so everyone's just collectively having a:

Image


Moment, huh?

"You actually broke it!" Scales wheezed between laughs. "You dumbass!"
Rio: "Scales, this isn't a laughing matter right now! Pana is going to kill me!"
:grohno~1:


"Shut it," Rio growled as he shook the water off.

The jagged line of pink flesh seemed to burn against his blue and silver fur. He could see Blue staring, and he could feel the questions bubbling from the Bidoof. He didn't feel like answering them, so the Riolu decided to focus on his more immediate and life-threatening problem.

Rio: "... Pana didn't happen to overhear that somehow, did she?"
:uhhh:

Pana: "Rio, are you messing with my box?!"
:panchamree:

Rio: "No! No! Not at all! (Oh gods, I really am dead when she gets back here!)"
:eltyscared:


"No one tell her, and maybe she won't notice?" Rio suggested.

"Oh, she's gonna notice," Scales snickered. "But I won't say what happened."

Rio: "Yeah, I didn't think that was going to work, either."
:PyroseDespair:


It was then that he noticed Pana's aura. Judging by the annoyance she felt, her search didn't go well. Or she had overheard them. Either way, yelling would definitely be involved. Rio just managed to press the chest to his stomach before the Pancham came in sight.
Rio: "Oh! Uh... hi Pana, I just remembered that I had a Mystery Dungeon to be in for the next week! See ya!"
:AlviseScared:


"Fucking robbery!" she yelled. Those rates are completely ridiculous! Half of the profits for one box! In your dreams assholes!"
Remind me to never hire a Box Buster from their neighborhood.
:wtfuckle:


"Didn't go well then?" Rio asked, still hugging the box.

"It'd be cheaper to break the thing open at this point," Pana conceded. "And I know you already did. That snap was really loud."

Rio: "... You just knew all along and strung me along like this?!" >.<
Pana: "I was hoping that you'd be honest enough to just fess up, but it's a moot point now. You did break the box open, right?"
:gardexhausted:


"You mad?" Rio didn't know why he bothered asking, he already knew the answer. Her annoyance was directed at him, after all.

"Of course I am! You could've cost us thousands! Let me see it!"

Rio: "Oh my gods..."
:uhhh:

Blue: "I would just like to point out that Scales and I had nothing to do with this!" O_O;
Scales: "Yeah, it's all Rio's fault!"
Rio: "Oh, some friends you two are!" >.<

Rio handed the chest to Pana. As she examined it, the Riolu could feel her rage fade a bit. It was clear she was expecting the lock to be completely gone instead of bent violently.

"How did you even do this?" she asked, still glaring.

Rio: "So, u-um, funny story... but it turns out that Bone Clubs for Riolu come in user-adjustable sizes..."
:fearfullaugh~1:

Pana: "And does it open right now, or...?"
:eltyunamused:


"I was experimenting," Rio explained, resummoning his staff. He proceeded to play with the size a bit, demonstrating his new control. Pana didn't seem as amused as he was.

Rio: "(I... should start eying shortcuts to the neared Mystery Dungeon, really.)"
:CabotScared:


"At least we could probably still sell it. Have you checked inside yet?"

"No, I-"

Rio felt the shift in her Aura a little too late that time. Her paw slammed into his chest, launching him back into the large tree behind him. Rio had just enough sense to brace for the impact as the rough bark bit into him.

Rio: "Ow." X_X

"OW!" Rio yelled, quickly picking himself up. "You said it was cheaper!"

"After you already broke it," Pana explained. "Seriously, how hard is it to wait? The thing wasn't going anywhere."

- Cue Scales and Blue twiddling their thumb equivalents and looking away -
Rio: "Thanks for the support, you two." >_>;
Scales: "You're welcome! Always was a fan of learning from others' mistakes!" ^^;
Blue: "(Wait, you are? Could've fooled me with some of your behavior over the past three days.)" .-.

"Extremely," Rio stomped back to her and snatched the chest away. "I'm opening it now."

"Sure," Pana said, "just don't break the rest of it." Rio considered snapping the top off out of spite, but he figured that wouldn't be good for his long term health. He walked over the river's edge, where Scales and Blue waited. Rio could feel their excitement as he flicked the lid open to reveal four strange bracelets.

Rio: "Pana, you seriously punched me into a tree over this? We could've broke this thing open with a rock hours ago-!" >.<
Pana: "Yeah, yeah, shut up. What on earth are these things anyway?"

They seemed to have been carved from some sort of white stone. Each had a flat side, presumably the top, and diamond-shaped indents built-in. There were two strange details that caught Rio's attention. One was that they were all different sizes, each seemingly fitted for every Pokemon there. The largest seemed to fit Scales's forearm perfectly, and the smallest would fit around one of the Bidoof's legs easily.

Oh, so they're those Z-Bracelet things from the cover art.

The other thing was that they were faintly glowing. A white light pulsed from each of the bracelets, drawing Rio in. It resembled the light coming from Blue's stone, but weaker.

"What are they?" Scales asked, taking the biggest one.

"Why are they glowing?" Rio asked, taking the one that looked like it would fit him.

"Did you hit your head?" Pana asked. "What glow?"

Rio: "Pana, do you need to get your eyes checked? They're clearly glowing!"
:what:

Pana: "Do you need to get your eyes checked? They're clearly not!" >_>;

Rio half expected that. For some reason, his teammates couldn't see whatever this glow was. He glanced at Blue who shook his head as he examined the last free bracelet.

Ah yes, Aura Vision™️ in action there.

"Still no light," he said. "Are you sure you're OK?"

Rio slipped on his own bracelet. It fit perfectly around his arm, and it was surprisingly comfortable despite being made of stone. It felt right to have it around his arm, to stare at its beautiful, yet pitiful light, to focus on the far away hunger building-

"RIO!"

Rio: "Oh, that ain't good."
:riohnolu:


The shout snapped the Riolu back to reality. The distant hunger fled as quickly as it came as he turned back to his teammates. They all stared at him, and their Aura's conveyed confusion and worry. He noticed they all had their bracelets on now.

"I'm fine," he reassured them. "Just a little tired. I've been playing with that box since yesterday."

Wait, did we really skip an entire day's worth of time in the last two paragraphs? .-.

Rio: "Also, why are you looking at me like that again?" ^^;

He noticed Pana and Scales’ Aura was skeptical, but not much else. They wouldn't call him out for it. The problem was Blue. He was more aware.

He told the Bidoof about the light his stone exuded, and the fact that the slots on the ring looked to fit it perfectly definitely hadn't escaped him. He didn't want to look crazy, seeing a light where none existed, and he definitely didn't want the Bidoof to bring it up. Luckily, held his tongue.

Narrator: "He's not crazy. Probably. Maybe."

"So, anyone know what these are?" Rio asked, changing the subject before the Bidoof changed his mind. Everyone shook their heads.

"Should we go to the guild? See if anyone over there knows?"

"I wouldn't," Blue said. "If it's really valuable someone's going to try to take them from us."

Rio: "Blue, we literally 3-ved... I don't even remember how many bandits it was back in the first chapter to move into this place. I think we can handle a would-be pickpocket or two."
:eltywtf:


"Their funeral, but fair. What do you suggest?" Rio asked.

The Bidoof grinned widely. "My favorite place in the city. Let's go!"

"After another hour of Water Gun training." He could feel the Bidoof's intention, and Rio wasn't letting him get off that easy.

The Bidoof sighed and went back to drink.

Blue: "Did the chapter really need to end on this note?" >.<
Everyone Else:
Image

Blue: "Ugh... fine." -_-;

Alright, time for the summary:

A bit of a transitional chapter, but it answered the question about the box from last chapter (and in the chapter title) and basically hooked the team up with what I assume are going to be some important pieces of kit for the rest of the story. Could do worse for forward progress, really, especially since the humor was still on-point like always for its slapstick and cartoony vibe it's held since the start.

For criticisms, the one thing that I think would've improved things a bit was a bit of extra description. Like it doesn't need a ton of extra description, but there were still a couple parts that were a bit hazy or else hard to tell what the intended vibe was that could've been cleared up by a sentence or two.

But altogether, I don't think the issues on that front were too serious, since it was still a fun romp to go through @BlackHairedPsycho . Good work, and I'll be looking forward to coming back to this story a couple of times before RB4 is over.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, back for the next chapter of this thing, featuring…

Chapter 7

... Though that chapter title’s making me wonder what the most threatening library visit for these guys entailed. ^^;

"'Welcome to the Wonder City Library and Archives. No food, no water, ABSOLUTELY NO FIRE.'"

Guess that's a sign that this place doesn't have any firefighting Pokémon or gear on standby. Or else they kept getting tired of dealing with scorched books from Fire-types being clumsy inside.

Blue listened as Rio read the sign out loud. The stone building was half as tall as the tower that stood in front of it, but it went down deep. Two marble pillars flanked the massive entrance to the largest reserve of knowledge on this side of the Water Continent.

Oh, so we're in canonworld, huh? I didn't realize that. Though that suddenly makes the 'Stone Plague' a lot less mysterious as to what it was, since that's just the events of Super.

"There a story behind that?" Rio asked. The Riolu looked better than he had this morning. Maybe he really was just tired, but considering the potential connection between his stone and the bracelets Blue doubted it.

"Mr. Thesus won't talk about it," Blue answered. He'd asked before, but the Noctowl threatened to ban him if he kept asking.

Is the 'Thesus' deliberate? Or was that meant to be 'Theseus', like from the ship thought exercise?

"Well, let's try not to start any fires," Pana glared at Scales and Rio when she said that.

"One time!" They said in unison. Blue, for once, decided he didn't want to know as they walked into the building.

Oh, so that's the reason why it's the second most threatening library visit for Team Disaster, huh? ^^;

Thesus, the old graying Noctowl, perched in front of the staircases leading above and below. Relatively invaluable books lined the walls. Blue had poured over every book in the room and had just wormed his way into the interesting stuff downstairs. The Noctowl's permanent scowl lessened a bit at the sight of Blue.

"Hi Mr. Thesus," Blue said.

Oh, so "Thesus" was indeed deliberate, though I can already tell that the gang's not going to get a warm welcome in short order. ^^;

"You're back then?" he said. "And you've brought more little gremlins to damage my books?"

Blue: "Mr. Thesus, that was one time, okay?"
:grohno~1:


The Noctowl took in Team Disaster like he did everyone, with a scowl. The giant Bird glared down at the group, his graying feathers making him look like a malevolent ghost. Blue knew it was mostly an act, made people think twice before stealing, or Arceus forbid, damaging a book. His eyes seemed to linger on Rio for a bit, and Blue thought he knew why. His thick fur really stood out up close.

"We'll be gentle," Rio said. "No fire at all."

Yes, that's totally the reason why Thesus is focusing on Rio and not the fact that by his own admission that he's trashed books in this library before in the past.

I'm guessing that he's going to wind up repeating that feat again, if not necessarily with fire.

That got Rio another hard glare. He started to grin, and it quickly turned into a frown. The frown then turned into a look of absolute horror and fear.

Rio: "M-Mr. Thesus, i-it was a joke!"
:eltyscared:

Thesus: "It wasn't a funny one." ÒvÓ

"This might sound weird, but has a Stufull come in here today?" Rio asked, taking a step back. Scales and Pana's eyes widened at those words.

"No, young mon, a Stufull hasn't come in," the Noctowl answered, unphased. "However the Bewear-"

Oh, so close enough in that case there.

A loud boom echoed from downstairs. It drew all eyes to the staircase as another came from below. Rio started to slowly back up after the third. As soon as the white ears were visible Rio took off. He cracked the stone floor as he sprained out of the library and into parts unknown. Blue's confusion was evident, and what happened next made it worse.

The Bewear was massive, with her head almost scraping the roof. She towered over everyone as she stomped away from the archives, holding an old book. She grinned at the group. Scales and Pana stared at her in disbelief.

"Griza?" Pana asked. "Y-you're here. You evolved?"

Blue: "Wait, you know her?!"
:uhhh:


"Nice to see you two again," Griza said in a soft voice. "The Masters weren't very happy that you left. Was that Rio?"

Blue: "... Wait, 'the Masters'? Scales? Pana? Should I be worried right now?" ._.
Scales: "(Probably, but let's not talk about it right here and now.)"

"Why?"

"I'd like to see my boyfriend."

:FearfulMeowth:


Oh, Blue's reaction there was totally a good omen for what their relationship was/is like.

It was clear to Blue that he didn't want to see her. He wondered why, but that didn't seem to be the issue. All Blue knew was that Rio looked terrified, they all did, and that meant he probably should be too.

"Just missed him?" Blue squeaked out.

inb4 Griza finds him like a minute after this.

"Thanks, little guy," she told Blue. "I'll go catch up."

Griza handed the books she held to the Noctowl, who gently grabbed them with his talons. It was rare to see the old bird so speechless. She calmly walked towards the entrance, noticing the cracks Rio made. She grinned at the sight.

"He knows I love a good chase. So sweet."

Blue: "... Do I want to kno-?" o_o;
Pana + Scales: "No."

The cracks she put in the floor made Rio's look like footprints in the sand. The stone splintered as she zoomed out of the library to pursue the Riolu. She ran right through the low arch, barreling right through it. When Blue looked back the head-shaped hole in the entrance seemed to be smoking.

Thesus: "Ah yes, I totally didn't have anything better to do with the library budget than masonry repairs anyways." >v>;

"Is he gonna be OK?" Blue asked.

"Probably," Scales said, shrugging.

Narrator: "Rio will not be okay."

"Go make sure we can find him when she gives up," Pana said. "The last time he made so many fake trails Mom couldn't find him for a week."

... Wait, Rio's mom is also around for all of this?
:riOMEGAlu:


Scales set off without argument. When Blue was finally able to turn his gaze back to the Noctowl, it was obvious he was slightly grumpier than usual. The scowl had hardened yet again, and Blue knew they were in for an earful.

"Well, the guild won't be happy about that," Thesus said. "But knowing that neat freak of a branch leader, someone will come by and fix it. No books were harmed."

20 words spoken seconds from disaster.

Blue sighed in relief. It looked like he wasn't in a shouting mood!

"BUT THEY COULD HAVE BEEN!"

Blue: "AAAH! Okay! Okay! We get it!"
:AAAAAA:


Or maybe he was and was just doing that to lure them into a false sense of security. That was also an option.

"Does the first team you join have to be that destructive?!" he screeched at Blue, having noticed the badges. "What's the name?!"

"Team Disaster," Blue whispered, but the Noctowl heard it.

Would suggest making 'Thesus' a bit more 'shouty', though boy is that 'Team Disaster' fitting like a glove for these guys right now.
:loltias:


"TEAM DISASTER? WHY WOULD YOU JOIN A TEAM WITH THAT NAME?"

"It's mostly a joke…" Pana started, but Thesus cut her off.

Thesus:
Image

Scales: "I'm... guessing that one wasn't funny to you either, huh?"
:ScaredCabot:


"MOSTLY!" the bird squawked. "WHY MOSTLY?"

"ALRIGHT I GET IT!" Pana snapped. Blue stepped back a bit, and Thesus seemed to calm himself after his squawking fit. Pana took a deep breath and calmly continued. "Can we go in now?"

Thesus:
Image

Pana: "... That's a 'yes', right?" ^^;

"Break anything and they'll never find your body," the Noctowl said, holding up the book Griza left. "And put this back. Blue should know where it goes."

Scales: "Wait, Blue... you... do?" ._.;

Pana snatched it out of the old bird's talons, while Blue regretted bringing them here. It took months for Thesus to warm up to the Bidoof, and now that may have gone down the drain.

Scales: "More like 'definitely went down the drain', but-" ^^;
Blue: "Scales, can you not right now?" >.<

He offered an apologetic look to the old bird as he walked by. He scowled back, but it softened after a few seconds. Maybe he wasn't as in trouble as he thought.

Or maybe he felt sorry for Blue, which wasn't much better.

Narrator: "He's feeling sorry for Blue."

He and Pana walked down the stairs in silence, the persistent Luminous orbs replacing torchlight. Those must have been expensive. Pana seemed interested in the yellow orbs, but she didn't ask, still clearly seething. The tension in the air was tangible.

"So," Blue tentatively started. "Griza?"

"Rio's old girlfriend," she explained. "He tried to break it off, but she didn't take it well."

:fearfullaugh~1:


Oh boy, Rio's love life is something else, I can see.

"She didn't seem to take it at all."

"Yep, but I'll let Rio talk more about that. If he survives."

This is not going to be the last we've heard of Griza, is it?

The bottom of the stairs came quickly after that, giving way to Blue's favorite room in the entire city. Rows, tables, shelves, filled with stories of the past, predictions of the future, and myths of the present filled the large room. And that's not including the countless scientific explanations of the various near-miss disasters that plagued the world and the information of various rare items.

"Where does this go?" Pana asked, holding the book to the Bidoof's eye line.

"'Aegis Cave: A Team Charm Treasure Hunt?'" Blue read out loud. "This is a children's book! Why would she read this?"

Ah yes, a reminder that we're in canonworld right now. Even if I wonder how it's taken me until this long to finally notice that in this story.

"Not sure I care. What she reads isn't my business. Now, what exactly are we looking for?"

Blue walked over to the large bookshelf on the back wall labeled 'Dungeon Treasures.' It was one of the few sections Blue hadn't even started yet. Now he had a perfect excuse. He carefully picked a book on the bottom shelf out with his teeth and dragged it away carefully.

inb4 he damaged the book by picking it out with his teeth like that.

Damaging it might earn him a talon to the face if the guild didn't kill him first. He laid the book down and pushed it open with his foot.

"How fast can you read?" Blue asked her as he started flipping through 'Dungeon Prizes and You'. He quickly concluded it was a basic guide to treasure boxes and moved it to the side.

These chapter titles are making me snerk in live time.

"I'm not fast," Pana admitted. Blue frowned as he picked the next book and started speed reading. It would take even longer now that he had to do all the reading.

"Focus on finding books then," Blue ordered. He was in his element now, and picking out books himself would be inefficient due to his lacking speed. "If Rio and Scales come back, have them do the same. And don't talk, it'll slow me down. That book Mr. Thesus told you about goes somewhere around here."

Wow, Blue really is getting into his element as TD's bookkeeper here.

"That's a personality shift…" Pana said. Blue didn't respond, too focused on his third book in about as many minutes. She sighed and got to work.

So Blue is confirmed for having a photographic memory, huh? Since boy is he blitzing through those books fast.

A bit of a small chapter this time around, but at the same time, I can't say that it didn't feel decently complete. We got to see a new place in-setting, and got some revelations about this world that suddenly cleared a lot up about what the setting is and what's going on, even if it requires game knowledge to get the full effect. Oh, and there was a lot of humor to be had from Thesus and Griza. Pretty impressive how you pulled this all off in 1500-ish words.

As for criticisms... I guess some of the bits about this being canonworld could've been laid out a bit more for people who were more unversed about them? Would've also been nice to see more of the library and its setup. But those are basically stylistic critiques, since in terms of what this chapter set out to accomplish, I think it pulled off pretty well.

And hey, I had fun with it, so I'd say this chapter did its job. Good work, @BlackHairedPsycho . Barring something drastic, I'll be back for at least one more chapter sometime before RB4 ends on Thousand Roads, and hopefully for more beyond that on a bit more of a consistent basis than last year. Since hey, this story's been a fun companion to curl up with on busier nights, and this chapter wasn't an exception on that front. ^^
 

bluesidra

Mood
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. hoppip-bluesidra-reup
  2. hoppip-bluesidra-pink
  3. hoppip-bluesidra3
For Blitz purposes: Number of Reviews per chapter!

Ch4 onwards is eligible for Blitz 22/23!​
1673347742371.png
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, popping in for one more review of this thing as part of RB4. I mean, I still anticipate on writing reviews for it afterwards, but I wanted to make sure I definitely got one more in before getting too swamped with reviews for the rest of this week, so let's just get right into…

Chapter 8

It was a relatively peaceful day in the Wonder City markets. Pokemon sold goods and browsed, the smell of food stands and candy wafted through the air, Dungeon items that made ridiculous claims like making maps that tracked the floor's changes and adjusted accordingly or an orb that took you straight to the end were being sold to gullible tourists, like any other day.

Oh, so a decent chunk of Wonder Orbs in this setting are fake/placebos, huh? Don't think I've ever seen that tack taken before, but it makes sense, especially with the entire subset of "misnamed items" from Sky.

That was before Rio started running for his life.

To his credit, the Riolu did try to avoid the Pokemon's livelihood, vaulting over carts and going around Pokemon when he could, but that wasn't his primary concern. If he had to slow down even for a second whatever was in his way wasn't gonna be there for long.

So how loudly is Griza shouting "Rio!" at the top of her lungs while chasing him during all of this?
:loltias:


The blue and black blur crashed into an orbs display, much to the dismay of the Alakazam merchant. He set half of them off, some flashing with a bright light, some turning others into apples, and one even managed to intensify the heat of an already hot day, among other effects. By the time Rio had left, half the orbs were smashed and used. The psychic's quick thinking saved the rest of his wares, making them float before they hit the ground. He sighed as the first blur sped off.

Oh hey, I'm not the only one who's done a "chaos wrecks shop full of dungeon items" routine before, even if I'll have to give props to Alakazam there for managing to (mostly) contain it.

Rio: "Dammit, I really could've used those orbs going off to buy me some time here."
:uhhh:


It was unfortunate that the second blur cared even less about her surroundings.

Griza barreled through what was left of the Alakazams wares, smashing the rest of his potential profits. As the psychic looked away from his crushed dreams he noticed the mass destruction the pink and black blur caused.

Alakazam: "..."
:lagiCri:

Griza: "Sorrycanttalkchasingmyboyfriendrightnow!"

Enormous, deep pawprints were printed in the paved stone road, carts and stands were in splinters in her wake, food and candy all over both patron and merchant, all more confused than angry. The thunderous stomps echoed through the streets as they sprinted off, sure to cause even more destruction.



SHITSHSHITSHITSHIT-

Rio: "How did she even find me this quickly?!"
:AlviseScared:


Rio could feel Griza gaining. This was insane, the last time he saw her she could barely follow him at a full sprint! Usually she'd just outlast him if she kept track, now she could actually catch up? Her Aura told him she was barely trying! Scales didn't get that much of a boost when he evolved! Maybe because it was a mid-evolution? He wasn't fully grown yet? Now he could see why it was such a sore spot for Pana.

Oh? Rio can't tell that something is different about Griza from her Aura? Is that something that's independent of body in this setting in that case?

Rio needed to lose her. Now!

He glanced around, actually taking in his surroundings. He seemed to be in the residential area now. Empty, presumably locked, houses surrounded him as he skidded to a stop. Quickly summoning two staffs he spun one in his paw and flung it at a door. The blue bone broke the door open, making it look like he barged in. He threw the other bone at another house on the opposite side for the same effect.

inb4 Griza just guesses the correct door and makes this attempt at misdirection moot. Since that'd be pretty on-brand for this story's sense of humor thus far. :V

Rio felt Griza's smothering Aura coming closer. He was running out of time.

The Riolu quickly ran to another house close by, out of immediate sight. He quickly summoned another Bone Rush and ordered it to get smaller than the keyhole. It did so quickly and he stuffed one end in with no hesitation.

He could hear her stomps now.

Griza has line of sight with him, doesn't she?

Rio: "Oh my gods, hurry up already!"
:eltyscared:


Grow. Rio ordered. The staff expanded rapidly, just like it did earlier that day. The keyhole quickly broke open, and the Riolu, thankful he figured out how to do that, opened the door and rushed inside. As soon as he silently closed the door, Rio could feel Griza's Aura come to a stop. Just in time.

Isn't Griza a bear? Wouldn't she be able to smell Rio out without a ton of effort here?
:fearfullaugh~1:


He could feel her smothering infatuation on top of the budding confusion and frustration. Why couldn't she just take a hint?

"You need new tricks honey!" she shouted. "You've done this before!"

Oh, so I take it that Griza didn't get the message that Rio broke up with her, huh? ^^;

He knew, and that's what he counted on. He felt the Bewear stomp away on his imaginary trail. The smothering Aura followed, and Rio took a quiet breath. She had left. The Riolu was about to do the same when he noticed how strange the house felt. He could feel Aura, but it seemed muffled. It kind of felt like a Dungeon entrance.

It is a Dungeon entrance, isn't it?

He walked further inside, noting the newish wood floor and furniture. There seemed to be a basement entrance, a trapdoor, so he opened it and stuck his head through. He instantly felt the Auras below. He popped his head back out and felt nothing. In. Auras. Out. Nothing. This was a Dungeon entrance. Had it been built without them knowing it was there? Had it just formed? Was that possible?

Yeah, I called it. Though the possibility of it forming here without anyone realizing is pretty
:uhhh:
since that's a poor portent of things to come for Wonder City if so.

Curiosity thoroughly piqued and still a little afraid of Griza figuring out his trick and circling back, Rio jumped in. The Dungeon was unlike anything he'd ever seen. It was entirely made of wooden boards, creaking under his slight weight. The crystals embedded in the walls didn't really go with the theming, but the pink light they gave off was appreciated.

Watch as Griza just follows Rio into here. o<o

"What the hell?" Rio wanted to look more, but he could feel Pokemon approaching. The Riolu summoned his staff as he prepared to fight whatever came through that entrance. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't Geodude. The two sentient rocks floated in, glaring at the Riolu. They lunged at him, and Rio batted them away easily as he walked forward.

Stylish takedown there, though it makes me wonder just how strong Rio is given that we've never seen him struggle against an opponent thus far in this story.

The enemies that lived in this strange dungeon were closer to the ones Blue fought the other day in strength. He bashed his way through the strange Dungeon easily, wondering how something like this formed. He'd never heard of a Dungeon forming under any populated town or city, and he definitely didn't know that a cellar door could lead to it. Could it have always been here? Where did it go?

inb4 this turns out to be the local equivalent to Meowth's Theater from Super.

It was when he overheard others that he knew he wasn't the first to go in.

"It's under the city now," A voice said. It was gravely and muffled. "The Knight won't be happy."

"How far has it spread?" Another, less gravely voice hummed musically. "Is the Queen safe?"

Oh, so Wonder City is a monarchy of some sort? Or at least that's my assumption when hearing those titles.

"For now, but the spread of this Dungeon will continue until it has her. We'll need to move again."

:wtfuckle:


Just what on earth are Mystery Dungeons if they track after specific targets like that?

"That will destroy the area and the Pokemon that make it their home! The Queen will never approve!"

"And the Knight?"

And what on earth is the 'Queen' such that her moving would destroy Wonder City and its surroundings?
:grohno~1:


"He has fewer qualms, sure, but she will not be happy when she finds out!"

Rio casually walked in to see a Carbink and Graveler aggressively arguing. They stood in front of the door leading into the next part of the Dungeon, and the now only way out. He cleared his throat, surprising the two. He had questions, and they were going to answer them.

Oh, the Queen is going to be a Diancie or something like that, isn't it?

"Hi," Rio greeted. "Couldn't help but overhear you. What do you mean by 'spreading?'"

Rio felt the hostility burst out of Graveler as he attacked. His Rollout was fast but the Riolu was faster, easily jumping out of the way. Bone Rush in hand Rio rushed forward as the Graveler's move wore off. He bashed his staff in the living boulder's side, sending him flying across the small room and into a wall. The wood cracked on his impact and some gems came loose. The Graveler's hostility seemed to strengthen after he got up, but he felt only confusion from the Carbink. Rio didn't dare look back, focusing on the enemy before him.

Rio: "You're obviously not ferals, so fess up. Who are you and what's going on here?"
:lucariwhat:


"I don't want to fight," Rio said, slightly lying. He hadn't had a good fight in ages. "I just want to know what you meant by spreading and moving."

"It's none of your business, kid," The Graveler shot back, wheezing from Rio's counterattack.

"Considering you mentioned destroying the city I'm living in, I'm feeling like it's my business."

Graveler: "Technically, we never said anything about-"
Carbink: "We can assume he overheard our conversation based off that remark." -_-;

"Sacrifices."

[ ]

"For what? Your queen?"

Well, that nonchalance is ever so slightly worrisome. .-.

Even if I think it might have been nice to see Rio react to it a bit.

"Stop!" The Carbink shouted. "Sult, his arm!"

Oh, so those two do have names, huh?

Rio: "Wait... my arm?" ._.

Rio guessed he was talking about the bracelet but he never took his eyes off the Graveler. The boulder Pokemon's eyes widened and Rio felt his aggression lessen just a little. Rio lowered his staff in response.

"You know what this is?" He asked the Carbink, holding his arm out. "It's been driving me crazy."

"The Z-Ring? Yes, finding out how to use it is a part of the test." The Graveler's aggression had completely faded at this point, so Rio felt comfortable enough to let his staff fade away.

Oh, so those bracelet thingies really did have Z-Crystals on them, huh? Those are quite the "Looplets" they stumbled across a couple chapters ago.

"And what am I being tested for, exactly?"

"Competence. Friends of the queen must be able to solve a simple ancient technique."

Rio: "..."
:uhhh:

Sult: "Oh, don't look so worried. If you have that, I'm sure you'll pass with flying colors!" ^^

Rio was a little annoyed at that, but he held his tongue. The ancient technique part sounded interesting, and he knew the rest of his team would think so too.

"Can I get a hint then?" Rio asked, hopeful.

"You just did," The Carbink answered. "Now, we must be going. I wouldn't worry about the town, the queen won't want to displace that many Pokemon."

Rio: "On what planet was that a hint?!"
:tessANGRY:

Carbink: "Ours. Good luck with your test!" ^^

"And this Dungeon?"

"If you pass the test, all will be revealed. I'll ask that you not reveal this place's presence. Let's go, Sult."

Rio: "Can... I postpone this test? Since I really feel as if I should postpone-"
:ohnowen:


With that, the Carbink floated away, and the Graveler stomped after him. He shot the Riolu one final glare, and Rio shot back with a toothy grin. Soon they were out of sight, and Rio couldn't sense their Aura anymore. They either went further in or found a way out. He still had questions, and he desperately wanted to tell this queen he didn't agree to any sort of test, but an ancient technique sounded like a lead for a nice adventure. Maybe that Noctowl would know more about these Z-Rings…

>implying Thesus isn't just going to laugh in your face and tell you to get the hell out of his library

The Riolu went to pick up the glowing crystals that popped out of the wall. They still shimmered, but not as brightly as the ones in the wall. Who knows, if they were worth something maybe Pana wouldn't be as pissed as he was about the box.

These are going to turn out to be Z-Crystals, aren't they?

Slapping himself for forgetting the treasure bag, Rio went on. The Dungeon Pokemon weren't particularly powerful, so the Riolu let his mind wander. His thoughts went back to Griza and why she was here. She had managed to evolve, to Pana's jealousy he was sure, either with the help of an evolution spring or in a battle. Knowing the Masters and the fact there was no spring back home, it was probably the latter. It was how Scales did it, after all.

Oh, so Pokémon can evolve both in the PMD-style fashion and in the mainline-style fashion. Though does that mean that Pokémon passively gain experience through methods other than battling such as aging? Since it makes me wonder what circumstances an evolution spring would lead to a Pokémon evolving that battling wouldn't.

But why was she here? They were careful leaving the island, leaving no hints as to where they'd go. Maybe it was a coincidence? Maybe they just interrupted her research and her obsession with him took over? Blue did mention that the library was the biggest in the area. Then what was she looking into?

Can't tell if that's where Rio and the gang ran off from the Masters, or if they ran into Griza at this island sometime afterwards.

The Riolu was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice when the wood changed to stone. When he finally did notice that he was walking on bricks instead of planks he sped up. A change like this meant he was getting closer to the end.

Watch as Griza is waiting for him at the end.

He came to a large stone door, studded with crystals. He could feel Auras from the other side, and they were familiar. An exit! He thought he could feel Pana, apparently incredibly bored, and Blue focused on something to an extreme level. Did he circle back to-

... Wait, how many openings into Wonder City does this Mystery Dungeon have, anyways?
:wtfuckle:


Rio pressed both his paws against the door, dug his heels into the stone ground, and pushed. Unfortunately, the doors were much lighter than he expected, and doors quickly swing open. They crashed into the library walls, causing a loud thud to ring out. Rio winced at the potential damage as he stepped into the room.

Ah yes, time to get chased out by a screeching owl.

Pana seemed surprised, as did her Aura, but Blue didn't even look up from his nest of knowledge. His fortress of reading material almost completely covered the Bidoof, but he didn't seem to care. His Aura was pure, unwavering focus. He'd actually never seen such focus in anyone, especially not himself. Rio was kind of jealous.

Rio: "... Looks like we made a solid choice for a bookkeeper, really."
:bulbuhhh:


The Riolu stepped into the room to check what damage he wrought. The doors seemed to miss the bookshelves that flanked either side, so that was a relief. Sure, some tomes fell to the ground, but they didn't look too banged up. He was sure that Noctowl would literally kill him if any books were damaged. The walls seemed to be another story, with cracks spreading from where the doors slammed into the wall.

Scales: "... I mean, Thesus said not to mess up the books, so he won't be that mad... hopefully?"
:fearfullaugh~1:


"Rio?" Pana asked as he assessed the damage he wrought. "Where-"

The flash of red hot anger rocketing down the stairs drew the Riolu's attention. The Noctowl librarian, Thesus, flapped angrily at him, murder in his eyes.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO." the Noctowl hissed. If words could kill, those would have erased Rio from existence.

Scales: "Why on earth did I get my hopes up?"
:uhhh:


"I opened a door," Rio answered, pointing behind him. At this point the door closed itself, revealing not a single book was squashed between the stone. There were no gemstones on this side of the door. "Sorry about the wall."

The Noctowl seemed to calm down a bit after that, curiosity taking over.

Scales: "Oh thank gods."
:blazikensweat:


"And where did you find this door?" he asked. "In fact, where did you even come from?"

"The door."

"You know what I meant, young mon." An edge came back into the old bird's voice.

Rio: "... The place behind the door?"
:joltyshrug~1:

Thesus: "Rio, stop beating around the bush already!" ÒvО́

"I know, I know. But can we wait until Scales gets back? I don't sense him, and he'll want to hear this."

I... actually didn't realize Scales wasn't there. It might have made sense for Blue to explicitly state that he didn't sense Scales' presence earlier when mentioning Blue + Pana since I just kinda assumed he'd also be there himself. ^^;

"Fine. We can start on your punishment for the damage to the library in the meantime. Start by picking up and organizing these books to my exact order or Arceus help me there will be hell to pay. If there is a single damaged spine I will eviscerate you."

Rio sighed and went to appease the old bird.

I suppose I should've known better than to expect Thesus to let the wall damage slide like that.
:loltias:

Though onto the recap:

The chapter is basically exactly what it says on the tin, and I thought it was pretty clever how you tied in a sequence that was played for laughs into one that actually accomplished something of note for the plot, namely throwing it out onto the table as to what those mysterious bracelets are (and foreshadowing that we're gonna see the cast busting some moves down the road
:bleplithe:
). Like I suppose the network of MD-induced tunnels might normally be a bit convenient in a story, but for whatever reason it felt fine here. Probably because this story takes the piss out of the series and doesn't take itself too seriously in general thus far, so it didn't feel all that jarring.

My complaints with this chapter basically boil down to "add a little more description to a couple places", but otherwise I don't have that many bones to pick. I was too busy snerking at things since as usual the humor and characters really carries things overall.

Hope the feedback was helpful and fun to follow along with, @BlackHairedPsycho . Since I had fun with the chapters that I've gotten through from this story for RB4 and am looking forward to what lies ahead for Team Disaster's... well, latest disasters in the future. :V
 

Arukona

A Scribe Penning His Brainworms
Location
Ardalion
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. aggron
  2. sceptile
  3. lucario
Hello hello! @BlackHairedPsycho, you are officially my first target for Review Blitz 5. I’ve seen Legends Legacy mentioned in passing and praised by numerous people in the PMD fandom, and that in turn compelled me to shortlist this fic as one to read and review for this round of Review Blitz.

So let’s dive in! I’m eager to see what this fic has in store for me.

Chapter 1

Oh boy, the troubles of real estate. Yep - liars and scam artists abound in this industry, determined to trick folks into buying a mould-ridden wreck through the scent of freshly-baked bread and rose-scented perfume. And the PMD-verse real estate industry probably has their own batch of tricks beyond just these.

the houses they were being shown didn’t would’ve been impossible to defend.

A slight typo here, I think.

Twenty-six lies? This Persian’s clearly a natural at their job. Good thing our protags aren’t moved, with Rio being a walking lie detector and Pana being menacing in her own right.

First question that strikes me with our group of protags - why call themselves Team Disaster? Somehow I get the feeling potential clients would be scared away by that name choice. Though imagine the headlines that would result in the event of them doing something heroic (a likelihood at some point in this fic, probably): ‘Crisis Averted by Team Disaster!’ Disaster preventing Disaster - it sounds almost poetic.

One thing that sticks out to me is the nice little details about Rio, Pana and Scales that make them different from their species’ counterpart. Good job on this - makes them feel more individual.

Bandits in this world? Small wonder - if real estate’s as crap as we’ve seen, some folks would turn to banditry, no doubt.

Wow, they cleared those bandits out pretty quickly. A tightly-knit team, this lot are. And already they seem to be the kind of folks to root for. Good first impressions already - I’m looking forward to seeing what antics Team Disaster get up to.

Chapter 2

On with the show…

Maybe the fact that they grew up so isolated, so far from other Pokemon, helped them keep a strong sense of wonder.

I wonder if we’ll delve deeper into this at some point in the future. Maybe it’ll affect future character arcs, i.e. Rio, Pana and Scales not knowing certain manners of etiquette due to their isolated upbringing and thus landing in trouble with the folk of Wonder City?

(Speaking of Wonder City, there’s obviously no flowers that make all manner of wacky shit happen, nor talking flowers that make passing comments, given that this fic predated that game by a good few years. :mewlulz: )

[They were the only guild in the area, and training wasn’t necessary to register.]

Pretty lenient, huh? Good to see this Guild is within the reach of even the most common trainee ‘mon.

The Bidoof stared at the bundle the excessively fluffy Riolu and Hakamo-o brought in. They were the bandits he was about to report. The bandits that stole from him. The bandits that took his treasure. The bandits he had no chance against. The bandits he was about to tip the guild off to, dragged in by one unevolved and one mid-evolution Pokemon no older than he was.

I sense a friendship being made in the not too distant future~ (That, and the title card and summary gives away the presence of Blue joining our heroes.)

Blue knew he had to be a hybrid, there was no other explanation! A normal Riolu was not that fluffy.

Ooh, a hybrid! :eyes: I wonder what the other half of Rio is? And does this mean we might meet Rio’s parents at some point in the future?

Damn, those bandits were four-stars, and yet they were taken out so easily by bronze rankers? That didn’t feel like a fluke either from Team Disaster. Must be a shoddy classification system.

Blue wasn’t very stealthy, nor did he have the dexterity to break in without it being obvious that he gnawed his way inside. The price of being quadrupedal.

That’s why most PMD protags are bipedal, so writers don’t have to write around such contingencies. :P

Rio the Riolu and Scales the Hakamo-o. What kind of parent names their kid after their species and most obvious traits like that?

Hey, at least they’re accurate name choices, and not named after a colour Bidoof don’t even have. (Maybe his eyes are what gave Blue his name? Or Blue, like the colour of water?)

The only thing in the narrow trunk of the tree was an old, rickety ladder.

Betting 500P that the ladder’s gonna break at some point.

Ugh, the basement sounds like an absolute pigsty. It’s gonna take a while to clean that out, I can tell. Can’t say I envy Blue or Team Disaster for having the prospect of cleaning all that up. Maybe they should hire a Garbodor or someone that would love this kind of stench.

Chapter 3

Noticing so far that the chapters seem to be fairly short. A good thing in some respects - helps break this fic up into smaller chunks. Is that just for the first few chapters, though? I guess I’ll find out for myself.
1021280506505076798.webp


Wow, that’s a lotta food. They surely didn’t spend the whole bounty reward on food, did they?

feral Pokemon meat

Ah, I see where this fic lies on the feral meat debate that PMD fics lie upon.

"I think the bandits didn't care much for cleaning," Rio answered.

When do they? Now I almost want to see a PMD fic depict bandits fastidious about cleanliness. Noting that idea down for my plot bunnies document…

I’ve noticed the Masters have been mentioned a few times now. Who are they, and when will we see them?

"How much did those squatters fetch for?" Pana asked, taking a bite.

"Twenty-thousand."

"Seriously? And how much did the food cost you?"

"I'll let Scales tell you about that."

Leaving your teammate out to dry, Rio? That’s not very cash money of you.

"With an Aura projecting that much curiosity it would've been hard not to."

"Are you reading it right now?"

"I can't really turn it off."

That’s gotta be awkward, having to contend with knowing every emotion of every passerby, especially those that might be uncomfortable with it like Blue here. While it’s definitely useful, as proven already with the Persian realtor, that can’t be good in every instance, surely?

"YOU SPENT TEN THOUSAND ON FOOD?"

Aaaaaand there comes the reaction. Guess monetary duties and finances in Team Disaster are probably being handed off to Pana from now on.

"AND WHY DIDN'T RIO STOP YOU?"

It was then that Rio realized something. He was just as responsible for spending that much money, and she would verbally rip him a new one.

Yeah, I did wonder about that, about which one of them was the more responsible for buying all that food. In that case, that really is not very cash money of Rio to not stand up for his teammate.

"Ten thousand?" Rio turned back to Blue, wide-eyed at their incompetent money managing. "Seriously?"

"There's a reason our name's Team Disaster," he answered.

Ah, disastrous in the ‘financially disastrous’ sense of the word. I gotcha. Though I reckon there’s probably more to it than that.

A glowing stone…yet Blue can’t see the glow? Interesting…this item totally won’t be a major player in the story going forward.

Chapter 4

"It was far away from home, mostly," Scales answered, already grabbing another skewer. Arceus Almighty, he could eat!

I see we have a Big Eater on our hands. Good - I like those kinds of characters a lot.

The ‘far away from home’ part makes me wonder, though - did they want to get away from home for the thrill of it? Or is the reason something deeper? Has it to do with the Masters we’ve heard about?

"Dungeons," Rio chimed in, eating at a slower rate. "A lot have popped up around here, right?"

Mystery Dungeon appearances - a prime opportunity for money-making. Or an omen of something that could bring about the end of days. Maybe both.

"This has happened before," Blue eagerly started. "Usually before some kind of horrific disaster."

"Like that Stone Plague?" Pana asked.

"Exactly."

"Wasn't that a century ago?" Scales asked, grabbing a third skewer.

So this gives us a good timeframe for when exactly this fic takes place - a hundred years after Super. And now I’m curious about whether this’ll impact anything technology-wise. Is it going to still be rustic, or will there be signs of the sorts of technology used in Super dotted throughout this world? So far it’s indicated the former, but I am curious as to whether this might change as the fic progresses.

(That is, if the Stone Plague is indeed referring to the events that happened in Super and isn’t some other event.)

"Don't humans usually come and fix those?" Pana asked, handing him another skewer. He took it and continued.

"I've never taken stock in those parts of the stories myself, but if a law of the universe can break then I guess anything's possible."

There don’t appear to be any humans among the cast we’ve seen thus far. Curious as to whether this will change as the fic goes on and we meet more characters.

"You think we just popped out of the womb, instantly kicking ass?"

"Pretty sure I was hatched," Scales jumped in.

So not all ‘mons hatch through Eggs in this setting? Fascinating - even if this is probably just a one-off moment.

Ah, an old archetype with Blue - he of little faith in his own abilities, trusting them less than others. But he probably has some interesting combat potential to be shown off further down the road, I bet. And who knows? His potential may well shine through sooner than expected.

Chapter 5

Blue woke up excited, terrified, and with a slight stomach ache. He ate too many berries and sticks last night.

I’ll say. Eating enough food for a week in a night would give anyone a stomachache. Well, unless they’re a Snorlax.

Somehow I’m not surprised in the least that Team Disaster are late risers. Hmm, I wonder if that might’ve played into why they separated from the Masters. Rising at the crack of dawn evidently doesn’t appeal to everyone.

"I take shit from them constantly, so any payback is good payback."

So they’re a team of banter and short-term one-ups on each other. Fair enough on Scales’ part, given he was cut the worst hand with having to drag out the trash. Then again, a justified punishment for blowing 10,000 Poké.

There was also the fact that his fur was matted and unkempt. It stuck out at odd angles, some even standing up. Blue could tell where he slept based on how flat the fur was on that side. Half of that silver mane of his was completely flat. It was clear Rio wasn't a morning Pokemon.

I guess that fluffiness of Rio comes back to bite him this time. Might be appealing in the wintertime due to a thicker coat, but it does come with its downsides, that’s for sure.

Though the mention of Rio’s injury is certainly something to take note of. Just what happened there exactly? I’m willing to bet something went down in Team Disaster’s recent past, something that made them up sticks and move to Wonder City. Whatever it was, it doesn’t sound particularly good… :sadwott:

And now onto the enigmatic entities that are Mystery Dungeons.

When a Pokemon entered a Dungeon, all access to the outside world was suddenly cut off. For any sensory Pokemon, it was like everything just vanishes behind them. This phenomenon continues the deeper a Pokemon goes into the Dungeon. After some undefined point, be it going down or up, the phenomenon repeats itself, and whatever was left behind just vanishes while ones appear. This repeats until you reach the end, and get out.

I find this paragraph to be slightly awkward with the way it transitions from past to present tense while explaining Mystery Dungeons. I think sticking with past tense all the way here is the better way to go about it.

Rio remembered his first lesson from the Masters. Always be aware of your opponent. Never lose track. He then remembered the painful practice that followed to reinforce that lesson. He rubbed at his neck, feeling for the scar that lied under the mess of silver fur.

Ah yes, nervous habits that expose those doubts. If Apollo Justice were here, he’d no doubt be yelling out, “Gotcha!” and exposing the truth there and then. But he’s not here, so alas, us peanut gallery folks must wait for the true meaning of that scar. :sadbees:

It definitely had something to do with the Masters, though, by the sounds of it. Teaching that ultimately proved too harsh, perhaps?

"Horrible, right?" he asked.

"Terrible," Pana said casually.

"Very bad," Scales confirmed.

"Can't argue with that," Rio added. He felt Blue's absolute despair in his Aura.

Wow, that’s some dearth of confidence right there. Poor Blue. I wouldn’t say his performance was terrible, myself. He did at least get a good hit in, so that earns some points, right?

Blue made some serious mistakes at first, but he showed that he learned from them. He never lost focus on an enemy, and he now capitalized on every stun.

Eyyy, improvement! Good to see that in our resident newbie.

The damage he did was almost nothing, so it was probably a good thing this did seem to be a low-level Dungeon. They had only seen Zubats and the occasional Diglett.

Man, I’m almost disappointed that that’s all we see here. Not very diverse, is it?

He painted as he walked, trying to power through his exhaustion.

I think you might’ve meant ‘panted’ here. Unless Blue has a penchant for painting and has a budding talent in the art that our gang haven’t figured out yet.
1105356025936228434.webp


Rio noticed Pana's aura shift from mild interest to extreme greed, but her face hid it well.
Ah, a lover of the shiny stuff. This one’s got her own vices, I see. Pernicious over money - no wonder she was as angry as she was towards Rio and Scales for their money-wasting.

This Sableye looks to be an interesting kind. A shady sort of ‘mon with more to him than meets the eye. Somehow I get the feeling this won’t be a one-time meeting…

So he’s not a hybrid. In which case then, what is he? That Sableye and this Dungeon definitely hide a great secret. Our gang’ll be back here soon, I bet.

Chapter 6

Diversity in moves is always a good thing, good to see the gang’s encouraging Blue to embrace them early.

The real prize is what's on the inside, not the box itself!

(another slight issue with tenses like I mentioned last chapter)

I dunno, there’s probably some folks out there that value the box more than the money inside. Though now I wonder if it even contains money. Now I’m realising the possibility that they might well have been duped by that Sableye.

I see that among our team’s many talents, lockpicking is not among them. Might want to fix that at some point, guys.

Yup, lockpicking’s gonna require some practice with Rio before he acquires that skill. Will he manage it in the end? Pretty neat idea to have Bone Rush become a lockpicking tool for a Riolu or Lucario - that’s not something I see too often in PMD fics.

"No one tell her, and maybe she won't notice?" Rio suggested.

"Oh, she's gonna notice," Scales snickered. "But I won't say what happened."

And now Scales has his moment of payback against Rio for leaving out to dry a few chapters ago. That teammate banter’s coming into its own, and I like seeing it so far.

Rio could feel their excitement as he flicked the lid open to reveal four strange bracelets.

Cue the music.

They seemed to have been carved from some sort of white stone. Each had a flat side, presumably the top, and diamond-shaped indents built-in. There were two strange details that caught Rio's attention. One was that they were all different sizes, each seemingly fitted for every Pokemon there. The largest seemed to fit Scales's forearm perfectly, and the smallest would fit around one of the Bidoof's legs easily.

Z-Rings for Z-Crystals, by the sounds of it. So that’s the angle we’re going for, huh? Fascinating. In fact, now that I realise it, Blue’s treasure was a Z-Crystal, wasn’t it? And the diamond shape on the Sableye’s chest…yes, it all makes sense now.

They seemed to have been carved from some sort of white stone. Each had a flat side, presumably the top, and diamond-shaped indents built-in.

Well, if that isn’t convenient as hell. Almost makes me wonder if the whole thing was planned from the start.

And once again, apparently only Rio can see the mysterious glow of the crystals and bracelets. Is it an Aura sensing thing, I wonder, or is Rio just special in that regard? Maybe we’ll see once more characters come out of the woodwork and find out whether this is something exclusive to Rio.

"After another hour of Water Gun training." He could feel the Bidoof's intention, and Rio wasn't letting him get off that easy.

The Bidoof sighed and went back to drink.

No rest for the wicked, alas. :sadbees:

Chapter 7

The library, huh? I suppose that would make sense for Blue; he does seem like a studious sort. Though if he spends all that time in the library, perhaps it’s little wonder his combat skills are underdeveloped, to say the least.

"Well, let's try not to start any fires," Pana glared at Scales and Rio when she said that.

"One time!" They said in unison.

Boy, this sounds fascinating. I wonder just what transpired to have caused that reaction? :copyka: More to the point, how did two non-Fire-types manage to set a library on fire? The name ‘Team Disaster’ seems to fit them more and more as we go on.

Thesus certainly fits the crotchety old librarian archetype to a T. God forbid the group are in for it if they so much as lightly tear a page.

He cracked the stone floor as he sprained out of the library and into parts unknown.

I think you might’ve meant ‘sprinted’ out of the library?

"Griza?" Pana asked. "Y-you're here. You evolved?"

"Nice to see you two again," Griza said in a soft voice. "The Masters weren't very happy that you left.

Proof if any that the Masters do seem to be building up to be something of antagonistic figures. Maybe not antagonistic in the ‘evil’ sense of the word, but antagonistic in the ‘roadblock for the hero’s progress’ sense. My curiosity about them and just who they are deepens…

Was that Rio?"

"Why?"

"I'd like to see my boyfriend."

Oh dear. Griza’s the overattached girlfriend type, is she? Though I wonder if she and Rio were ever ‘together’ back in the days when they were with the Masters. Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Also, that stone is clearly not fit for purpose. Get on making a sturdier floor next time, Thesus.

He and Pana walked down the stairs in silence, the persistent Luminous orbs replacing torchlight. Those must have been expensive.

Beginning to see how the ‘NO FIRE’ rule might’ve come about. Stray embers from torchlight probably did it. An understandable precaution, I guess - no one wants an in-universe version of what happened to the Library of Alexandria, after all.

"Where does this go?" Pana asked, holding the book to the Bidoof's eye line.

"'Aegis Cave: A Team Charm Treasure Hunt?'" Blue read out loud. "This is a children's book! Why would she read this?"

"Not sure I care. What she reads isn't my business. Now, what exactly are we looking for?"

Hey, don’t knock children’s books; some of them are pretty good! Well, maybe not. But there are some children’s books that stay with us as adults for how good of stories they told. Shoutout to those authors who kept the adults in mind too when writing for children.

He carefully picked a book on the bottom shelf out with his teeth and dragged it away carefully.

Damaging it might earn him a talon to the face if the guild didn't kill him first.

All the easier to do with the buck teeth of a Bidoof, alas. :sadbees:

But interesting to see Blue come into his own here, while Pana lags far behind him. Quite a shift from the previous chapter where it was vice versa. Maybe his knowledge will prove useful to Team Disaster, whose sense of knowledge is more rooted in fighting as opposed to scholarly endeavours.

Chapter 8

Dungeon items that made ridiculous claims like maps that track the changes and adjust accordingly or an orb that takes you straight to the end were being sold to gullible tourists,

Honestly not surprised that con artist merchants pepper the marketplace in Wonder City Though not gonna lie, if I was a merchant in the Mystery Dungeon world, I’d be tempted to do something like this too, making money off the gullible.
643956724633567291.webp


He set half of them off, some flashing with a bright light, some turning others into apples

Oh no. Oh no. That’s not good at all.
864557228606226442.webp
I’m reminded of another fic where this happened at a climactic point in the story, and suffice to say, it didn’t turn out too well for the one that was itemised. Suffice to say, the reality of being itemised can’t be a pleasant one at all.

If nothing else, though, it does fit the lighthearted humorous tone this story is hitting thus far.

Also, how terrifying to be running from a Bewear, of all things. Small wonder Rio’s scared for his life.

The brief talk about evolution makes me wonder if we’ll eventually see Scales as a Kommo-o or Pana as a Pangoro. I guess we’ll wait and see on that front. Probably won’t happen for a while, though.

More lockpicking from Rio. He’ll be a dab hand with that before we know it, I bet. And nice set-up from last chapter, with him breaking the door lock in the same manner that he broke the chest lock.

But now the curious anomaly of a Mystery Dungeon in this house? How strange. How very strange indeed. Interesting one too - it’s not just yet another cave, forest, mountain climb or whatever other environments come a dime a dozen with Mystery Dungeons.

And now the mentions of a queen by a Carbink and Graveler? Hmm…somehow I get the feeling that I know just who this queen they mention is…

"If you pass the test, all will be revealed. I'll ask that you not reveal this place's presence. Let's go, Sult."

A test, eh? Then why is a Sableye the one to hand out the Z-Rings to Team Disaster? In fact, thinking back to the peculiarity of that Sableye, I’m now beginning to hazard a guess that he might be related to all of this. And in particular, his relation to the queen they mention…A relation that could be almost familial.
636782104289476608.webp


"You know what this is?" He asked the Carbink, holding his arm out. "It's been driving me crazy."

"The Z-Ring? Yes, finding out how to use it is a part of the test."

Learning how to use Z-Moves, no doubt. That should make for an interesting spectacle, once the team learns how to pass it.

The ancient technique part sounded interesting, and he knew the rest of his team would think so too.

I get the feeling this won’t remain a secret for long when a certain three other inquisitive teammates start snooping. If anything, I’m curious if Blue knows about this already, given his knowledge on Mystery Dungeons.

Slapping himself for forgetting the treasure bag, Rio went on.

Yeah, of all the times to forget to bring a bag, this sure ain’t the best one, Rio. :mewlulz:

Oh, we’ve come full-circle back to the library? Huh. Didn’t expect that.

The flash of red hot anger rocketing down the stairs drew the Riolu's attention. The Noctowl librarian, Thesus, flapped angrily at him, murder in his eyes.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO." the Noctowl hissed. If words could kill, those would have erased Rio from existence.

Yep, definitely not a librarian you want to get on the bad side of. Part of me wonders if there was a range of incidents for Thesus to become immediately irate if someone so much as breathes wrong while in the library.

More to the point, what’s a Mystery Dungeon doing connecting the library to some random house? That’s something mildly concerning, if it is a spreading Mystery Dungeon.

Chapter 9

It has been documented that Humans and Pokemon shared some kind of relationship. Some records lament the loss of their partners, some express relief that they are gone, and they all vary.

So this is a Mystery Dungeon world that takes place thousands of years after humanity’s demise? Interesting spin on it, and the way they’re referring to humans in this sense must mean they’re not necessarily talking about isekaied humans in the PMD sense of the word.
There are many rumors of other powers in this vein. Some say they could make Pokemon grow to enormous sizes, while others say they could pool on each other's power to perform devastating attacks.

Ah, a dead ringer for Dynamax and Battle Bonds. Definitely humans in the Trainer sense of the word, then.

Blue paused when he read diamond-shaped. Still completely oblivious to the librarian's rage, he glanced at the bracelet around his front leg. Diamond-shaped grooves dotted the strange stone. In fact, he'd seen that exact shape before. He kept it in his bandana!

Two steps ahead of you there, Blue. Rio figured it out last chapter.

"And you said there were more of these gems inside, right?" Pana asked Rio. This was the most animated he'd seen the Pancham, eyes wide and a grin playing on her lips. She looked good, better than the resting frown at least. "A lot more?"

Boy, is Pana going to have fun when she realises what these crystals actually mean, and what collecting them will mean for the group. Then again, maybe not - seeing as how the Z-Crystals will have use for the party, it will mean they can’t just go pawning them all off and getting a heap of money for it.

"Alright," Pana sighed. "Hopefully they won't be able to pin it on us this time."

"This time?" Blue asked.

"Later Blue," Rio said.

Once again, what in the world happened there? That sure sounds like an interesting tale. Hopefully we get to hear it at some point.

"This won't destroy my library, correct?" he asked Blue.

"Probably not," Blue answered. "Hopefully."

Bet.

The Noctowl knew there was no way he'd risk the books in here, so he slid the stone in the bracelet. It fit perfectly, and predictably, nothing happened.

Oh, okay, nothing did happen. Kinda was half expecting something to go off, like the big explosion of a Z-move creating a hole in the wall.

Rio squinted at the Bidoof's bracelet, looking back at his own. Was-was he drooling?

Hmmm. There was a mention of a distant hunger in Rio back in the Mystery Dungeon to do with the crystals and the Z-Rings. This is a follow-up to that, no doubt - but what does it mean? I have a vague guess - possibly a long shot - and it might have something to do with a certain prismatic light stealer, hungry for energy…
635766661743640596.webp


So now Team Disaster have a mission on their hands, with Thesus holding them to it. A Dungeon of human origin….sounds intriguing.

Thesus definitely fits the sceptical elder role with his concern for Blue and scorn for Team Disaster. No doubt it’ll take a bit for the other three to win him over, perhaps by carrying out this mission for him.

Chapter 10

"Breaking stuff?" Scales asked. "Nope. That happens a lot around us."

Ah, so it’s also ‘Disaster happens all around us.’ Hence why they’re named Team Disaster. Cool, cool.

After all was said and done they had put a sizable hole in the side of the town hall, and somehow started a fire next to it, nearly burning the rest of town hall down.

Ouch, what an unfortunate coincidence. It must be some bad luck for a team with no Fire-types to manage to set something alight. Unless someone started that fire to blame it on them or something.

They didn't get paid because of that, but it did go to their team rank.

But, hey, all’s well that ends well.

"It may have been a part of it…" Rio said. "But what happened at the library wasn't even close to the worst."

"Arceus Almighty, the ship," Pana groaned, burying her face in her palm.

Even more misfortune abound. Well, now there’s no doubt as to how Team Disaster earned their namesake. I do wonder if that was a name they gave themselves, or was it a name foisted onto them by others that stuck after a while?

Man, the whole story with the ship is certainly a laugh riot. :mewlulz: From bad to worse, to being banned from Port Topaz? A name I wonder if we might see at some point in the future. Would be a nice callback to this anecdote.

Unfortunately, Blue was there. He had moved, of course, but by then he had already taken several clawfulls of dirt right in the face. Scales turned towards him as he finished, grinning. Blue only stated back, dirt still clear. The dragons smiled faded.

Made some suggested amendments to this paragraph. As it stands, it feels a bit disjointed with typos in some parts.

Now we get to learn more about Scales, who we seem to know the least about. Guess that’ll change in the next bit.
"Hm? Oh, Pana and Rio? They're family! My brother and sister!"

Blue blinked at that. Once, twice, three times. He could see several problems with that statement right off the bat.

"How?" Blue asked after a bit, still confused.

"Adoption."

Oh, so they’re a family. That’s kinda cute, in a way, to think they all grew up together and decided to form a team.

"Yeah. Mom and Dad took me and Pana in, and then Rio washed up a few years later."

"Washed up?"

Oh boy, that’s a new spin on things. From PMD experience, folks who wash up on the beach tend to be...interesting folks, to say the least.

"Does it have something to do with that scar?"

Scales winced at that. "Can't hide anything from you, huh? When did you even see that?"

"Before the Dungeon. His fur was sticking up."

"Don't bring it up." He said, voice cracking a bit. "It wasn't pretty…"

Oh, yikes. So it wasn’t the Masters who inflicted that scar on him? It instead might’ve been from a much more sinister force instead…

And now a suddenly sinister history on hybrids, where there seems to be some level of discrimination against them on the Isle of Evolution. Sounds like a horrid place, alright. Probably one where they insist on the ‘purity’ of species and look upon hybrids with deadly suspicion. And apparently there’s a cult. Oh boy…that can’t be anything good. :sadwott:

"Don't worry about it!" The Hakamo-o's grin returned full force.

At least Scales seems to be the friendly, chipper sort. I have to admit, he’s probably my favourite character of the bunch, partly because of the species pick and his friendly attitude.

This stone-" He held out his front leg, stone still shoved inside the bracelet. "It's a family heirloom. Mom gave it to me for luck."

"Cool. Did she know about what it might be?"

"Probably not. She would have told me if that was the case."

An heirloom from the past….Yeah, totally not anything super mega important that’ll impact the characters’ adventure thus far. :copyka:

"Cool, cool. Any human dishes?"

Blue wasn't quite sure he heard that right. "I'm sorry?"

The grin on the dragon's face grew even wider."You know, human foods! I've heard they made the best stuff to eat!"

"I mean, maybe?" Blue could see the saliva gathering around his large jaws. The Bidoof was surprised to see him care so much about something that mundane.

Yep. Definitely a Big Eater, Scales is. No doubts now. That wasn’t just some throwaway dialogue back when they had the feast. (Funny, because as it turns out, I also have a Big Eater Hakamo-o character in my fic, Dual Wills. What a coincidence that we happened upon nearly the same concept independently of each other.)
880166305662119966.webp


Rio took in a deep breath before finishing his thought. "We need to warn him about the Masters."


Looking more and more likely that the Masters are antagonists. Guess my earlier suspicions were correct.
"They won't, Rio," Pana said, more trying to reassure herself than him. "They can't."

Rio wasn't as confident. That boat thing especially wouldn't just disappear. It was how they got to the mainland, after all.

Oh, so that tale about the boat wasn’t just a Noodle Incident - it’s actually a part of their backstory. And the giveaway that they used the boat to get to the mainland…hoo boy, Blue’s hunch about the Isle of Evolution looks to be worryingly accurate.

It’s a lighthearted fic thus far, but things have turned a slight shade darker with what was revealed in this chapter. What more info will we found out, I wonder?

Chapter 11

Something’s probably behind that waterfall, if previous PMD experience is anything to go by.
"Hey Rio?" Blue asked. "What are-"

Without warning, Rio grabbed one end of his staff, and took a step over the cliff. The Riolu plummeted, staff in hand.

1172659240595361792.webp


Well, damn. That was certainly sudden.

"Feels like Scales thought it was funny though."

Blue turned back around to see the Hakamo-o sniggering, his scales clanking together as he tried to shut up.

Did Scales expect that? Perhaps given all the misadventures they’ve been through, antics like this is something he’s used to, and thus it’s only a surprise to Blue, the team’s resident newbie.

Though judging by her reaction, Pana isn’t enthused by this. She can certainly be quick to temper, I’ve noticed.

Using Bone Rush as a rope is an interesting manipulation of that move. Of course, with the plethora of Riolu in PMD fics, we all do have to come up with unique quirks for our punchdog protagonists, so it’s nice to see that in play in this fic for Rio.

He swung back, and Blue took notice that his bottom paws, his feet, were now glowing light blue. The Riolu slammed back into the cliff face, and his feet exploded on contact.

His feet what on contact?
401076862924750848.webp
What exactly is this new phenomenon?

"We're not supposed to break anything!" Pana shouted back. "And you're not supposed to use that move!"

"Look we needed a way in and now we got one. Are you complaining?"

Oh, apparently it’s a forbidden move? Though come to think of it, that might well explain how Rio left marks in the stone floor of the library as he was fleeing Griza. Desperation does tend to throw caution to the wind, and maybe he subconsciously left marks without the intent to. So it wasn’t the stone being shoddy, after all.
803821849384583219.webp


Scales snickered as he made his way over, making Blue suspect that this wasn't the first time he'd done something like this.

Not a one time thing, then. I’m really curious about this now - just how did he pull this off?

Strange black tendrils were snapped, electricity crackling at the ends.

Definitely an abandoned laboratory, by the sounds of it. Though ‘electricity’ and ‘black tendrils’ do bring to mind a certain Ultra Beast, and the way Z-Rings and Z-Crystals are a thing in this world…perhaps we might see UBs at some point?
1021280506505076798.webp


Shattered glass was sprinkled all around the floor, but Blue barely noticed that. What was really getting his attention was the rainbow sludge.

Giving off ‘site of a failed experiment’ vibes, this place is. And as with all mysterious liquids, that mysterious rainbow sludge is very mysterious, indeed. I wonder what it could be…

Still, the light it gave off was unsettling to say the least.

Unpleasant gradients are unsettling, in fairness.

He wasn't sure how it was possible, but the Pancham looked more annoyed than usual.

But she’s already as annoyed as can be, surely? Almost makes me wonder if this could be reworded to something like, “the Pancham looked even more irate,” and drop the “usual” part.
The slam shook the fluid of the thing's pod, rousing it from it's long sleep. The fleeing moment of consciousness faded soon after, but the abomination had one thought before falling into its slumber once more.

I'm not tired anymore...

…Well. If that ain’t sinister, then I don’t know what is.
864557228606226442.webp


Chapter 12

A laboratory Mystery Dungeon? Keep that stuff coming, I like seeing these new, unique kinds of Dungeons.

As soon as Rio entered, they heard a click. A second later he was gone.

Welp, there he goes. Cursed warp traps. :screm:

"Shouldn't we wait for him? In case he comes back?"

"He sure as hell won't do that. He'll probably keep going alone. Better chance of seeing him if we don't stop."
I wonder if that’s really the best of ideas here. I’m willing to bet that Rio’s gonna discover some secret out of earshot of the rest of the crew that he’s gonna have to bring them up to speed on.

He felt a slight tug in his stomach, and a thin stream of water flew out, splashing the offending Pokemon. The Bidoof couldn't believe it. He'd just used Water Gun!

Eyyy, the training paid off! Nice win for Blue there. :quag:

How fitting that a human-made Mystery Dungeon would have the human-made Pokémon Mewtwo himself in it.

"Pancham don't get a dark typing until they evolve, right?"

Pana paused. She frowned at that, and that frown turned into a snarl. If looks could kill, the glare that followed would have annihilated the Bidoof where he stood. Blue gulped and took a step back, apparently touching a sore subject.

I-Is this related to something in their past? Just what exactly happened there?

"I wouldn't bring up evolving around her," Scales said. "It's a sore spot."

Oh, it’s an evolution thing. Is it a feeling of ineptitude on Pana’s part that she hasn’t evolved yet? Is it the fear that she can’t evolve, especially with how Scales seems to have evolved without issue? More and more am I curious to find out about these guys’ pasts.

Now over to Rio, where he’s having fun with his new attack. Feels almost like the long reach that Generals have on their weapons in the GBA Fire Emblem titles.

Something was nagging at him, pecking at the back of his head. No, that wasn't quite right. Something was pulling at him, trying to guide him to whatever it was.

Called it! Knew he’d be pulled away from his teammates by something-or-other.

The dark glow it gave off captivated the Riolu. He had to have it. He needed it. He hungered for it.

Rio stomped forward, Bone Rush in hand, and swung at the glass. It shattered instantly, and the stone stayed where it was. Floating. Appetizing. Calling to him. It wanted him, and he wanted it.

Curiouser and curiouser…though that sudden hunger returns again. It seems to be in response to the Z-Crystals…which is somewhat concerning, to say the least.

Rio scratched at his neck as he examined the thing.

Once again, the little habits can reveal a lot. I can’t help but wonder if there’s a connection between these Z-Crystals and Rio’s past. Perhaps the cult on the Isle of Evolution has something to do with this?

Whatever it is, hopefully these trances that Rio goes into won’t take him over…

Its three... fingers-yes that was the word-has strange bulbs on the end, and something was sticking to what it was sure was its arm. It identified its short fur as white.

It flicked what it thought was a tail, purple apparently, around, tapping the barrier that kept it imprisoned.

Hold on a minute…Mewtwo? From the description, that certainly seems to be the case. Plus, it would fall under ‘human-made Pokémon’ that would be most fitting in a laboratory like this one.

"Why don't I just break it down?" Scales asked for the millionth time.

This seems to be a pretty common trend for Scales to just take a physical approach to most things. Occurring to me that he mightn’t exactly be the brightest flame on the Chandelure when it comes to thinking. Very much a ‘punches first, asks questions later’ type of ‘mon. A perfect complement to Team Disaster, really.

Now Blue’s getting one step closer to learning out how to do a Z-move…only to be hamstrung by his quadrupedal stance. That really isn’t coming in clutch for him a lot, is it?

He put his arms forward, crouched, and threw them up in the air, doing a silent roar. A black glow flashed across the bracelet, but nothing else.

Ah, the familiar pose of the Darkinium Z. Too bad there’s no aging sardonic police officer to teach it in this universe.

"...Thanks," Rio said, scratching at his fluffy neck. Blue noticed the slight pause, and his subdued nature.

"Are you ok?" Pana asked, picking up on it too.

"Fine!" Rio said, a little too fast.

Someday, the truth’s going to come out about these trances he goes into. And once again, that old habit emerges…

The walls of the room were lined with paper. Books, loose sheets and binders filled the walls and littered the floor. By Blue's best guess this room alone had more than the entire library's collection.

Either that’s a testament to the level of research that went on in this facility, or it shows how lacking the collection is in Wonder City’s library. Given that Blue’s seemingly read most of the contents of the latter, perhaps more books are in order for that place.

"What the fuck…" Was all he could say as they looked at the large cat floating in the amber goop.

Yep. Further confirmation this is Mewtwo.

The one the blue one carried was much closer to-

The abomination didn't even notice it at first. It was very faint, but it could feel the same energy that diminished it for so long. They were here to put it back to sleep! They wouldn't succeed.

So more proof from Mewtwo that there’s something up with Rio. And this time, it really does seem to be of an ancient, primeval variety.

He'd never felt an Aura like it.

He realized that wasn't quite true. He had felt something close. That Sableye gave off a similar feeling.

A similar feeling…of a Legendary Aura? To be honest, that speaks more volumes about the Sableye than Mewtwo here. I look forward to going back to them to figure out what their story’s all about.

And now it appears we’re in for a fight. …This won’t end well for Team Disaster, will it?
635766661743640596.webp


Chapter 13

Funny, I thought the fight would be an absolute curb-stomp, but it doesn’t appear to be that? I mean yeah, Mewtwo has the upper hand, but Team Disaster aren’t completely screwed yet. Maybe Mewtwo’s grogginess from its long slumber is holding it back.

He focused on the staff, and did his easiest alteration yet.

Burst.

The Bone Rush flashed once, and exploded.

More creative liberties of Bone Rush. That’s the well-established schtick of Rio, by this point. I applaud you for making this his trait to make him different from your average PMD punchdog protagonist.

When he saw what was left of the lab he wanted to cry.

The books were in total disarray, some completely destroyed in the battle taking place. Some shredded, some some torn in half, and some were blown to bits, along with a part of the wall and floor.

Well, so much for ‘preserving’ the site. Thesus won’t be happy with this at all…

Also right after the first Barrier is demolished, a new one forms right after. How tedious…

Pity Blue wasn’t able to do much to Mewtwo, but hey. He tried his best, and sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

And convenient, if it means Rio can take his heirloom and use its power to the max. Breakneck Blitz incoming - and how fitting that the Normal-type Z-move is the first one used, just like in Sun/Moon. Down to even copying out the poses for Z-moves - even if in fic narration like this, the impact admittedly doesn’t quite land like it does in the games.

Then, the resistance just stopped. Rio felt the boundless energy leave him as he plummeted. He just managed to glimpse the blue sky as he and his opponent fell into the lake below.

Oh dear, I had a feeling that might happen. Here’s hoping Rio’ll be okay…

He turned his head towards it, only to see it shoot out of the lake and into the sky, its Aura scared once again. Rio couldn't call that a win, but it wasn't a loss either.

Unleashing a potentially eldritch alien monster into the world? Er, no, Rio, I would definitely call that a loss. A big loss that will probably have an adverse effect on the world at large. Survival is a small victory, though, so a small win, I suppose, but outweighed by a big loss. Possibly.

Though if anything, I wonder if whatever’s dwelling in Rio might possibly be more of a danger to the world…but we’ll get to that part when we see it. In time, hopefully.

Chapter 14
Even the counters and all the chemicals they held had cracked open and spilled onto what was left of one of the best preserved human ruins to date.

Damn, that’s a pity. Always a shame when we lose a key pathway to understanding the great mysteries of the past. :sadbees:

His eyes were closed, and he was sinking fast.

Oh boy, that’s not good. If he’s not saved in time, we may have a problem on our hands…

The Riolu stood out, then again slowly descending in the middle of a lake would make anyone obvious.

Funny, you’d think the blue fur would make him blend in with the water a bit more. Then again, Riolu are hardly Kecleon when it comes to camouflage.

Kudos to Blue for leaping in to save his friend without a second thought. Goes to show how much he cares for them in such a short space of time.

Blue's now very unfocused thoughts turned to why Rio was so fluffy. Hair was coming off in his mouth!

That question keeps coming up, to the point that it feels like it’s more than just ‘Rio’s a hybrid’, and like this is something that has the potential to be quite the head turner when the reasoning behind it is revealed.

Blue stared at the Riolu in disbelief. "I've been out for a day?"

Rio laughed, then coughed. "Kidding! It's been like an hour."

Huh, is that all? I would’ve expected a few hours at least, with the massive burst of energy leaving Rio, Blue being knocked out cold by Mewtwo, and Blue having to perform a risky save of Rio in his unconscious state.

Blue quickly snatched it out of the Riolu's paw. He never wanted to lose it again. He vowed to never let it out of his sight.

There’s something about the latter two parts of this paragraph that don’t quite flow well, in my opinion. I think if it was, “...snatched it out of the Riolu’s paw, intent to keep his precious keepsake safe and never let it out of his sight.” Perhaps it’s them being separate sentences that doesn’t jar well.

"AAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!" Rio sneezed. His entire body flashed a light blue, and exploded.

Ah yes, a great sentence to take out of context. Try explaining that to anyone who has no idea what this fic is about. :copyka:

"Did-did you just explode?" Blue asked.

"Hm? Oh yeah, that happens sometimes."

"...Why?"

"Never got a straight answer for that. Masters said I lack control."

The nonchalance! :mewlulz: Pfft, I’m loving this discourse over Rio’s explosivity. Good job delivering the humour here.

Though being explosive isn’t normal, per se (unless you’re a Voltorb or Electrode, obviously). So what’s the deal there, Rio having this ability to explode? The mystery over his origins deepens…

Gonna bet that the stuff Pana and Scales salvage will turn out to be the most important documents of the collection and will just so happen to tell us exactly what that mutant Pokémon was. :copyka:

Mr. Thesus would be...

Well, angry would have fallen short of describing it. Livid would have been closer, but incomprehendingly furious was the best bet.

Too right. Somehow I get the feeling mentioning the attack on them by Mewtwo won’t be a good enough excuse. The walk back to town’s probably going to be a long one, no doubt.

Blue turned to her, and saw her usually stiff frown soften a bit. "You saved Rio's life. Scales sucks at swimming, and I didn't have any strength left after that fight. Thank you."

Wow, to the point of being thanked by Pana of all people…Blue’s feeling more and more like he blends in with this group of misfits.

Scales got back a little later, dragging something metal with him. He told the team it looked important, but it was just too rusted and broken to find any use. Still, they decided it was better to take it. Someone might know more.

No doubt it’ll be an item that’ll come in clutch later on down the road. No description here, though, does leave the reader at a bit of a loss as to what exactly it is. Is it a vital component of the lab? Is it something related to the Z-Ring? Is it related to Mewtwo? Many questions, yet still no answers as of now.

And now back to the city, where our heroes will probably be in for it.

"That Alakazam sold me a shotty orb! It was already cracked!"

Ah, so that merchant was a con artist. Good - at least no one of a good nature (probably) was inconvenienced when Rio and Griza came charging through.

"Did you hear about the waterfall?"

....Ooooh boy.
"And he didn't use protection, so now-"

I’m almost curious what this one’s about. :copyka: But eh, maybe it’s not worth looking into.

Spotting a stand selling newspapers, Pana quickly walked over and snatched one without paying. The dosing Delibird didn't even notice the blatant theft.

Wow, that is brazen. Pana must be a natural at this, if she can do it in front of a bustling crowd of people. Then again, those tend to be the perfect environments to perform thefts in.

Blue was stunned. They had made front page news without even reporting anything! This was great!

I-Is it, though? They literally destroyed a human ruin and with it, valuable documents that could’ve given a greater insight into the past. Making front-page news in this scenario feels like getting it for all the wrong reasons.

Though curious to note about the ‘surprise visitor’ Rio says they might be getting before long. Based on their nervousness, could it be one of the Masters? Or their parents that raised them? I guess we’ll find out before long…

Chapter 15

She wore a badge around her neck, with a black body and gold wings with a bright blue gemstone right in the middle.

Sounds like one pretty badge from that description. Definitely a high-ranking ‘mon, by the sounds of it.

"I sent them to their deaths!" Thesus squawked. "Children, Jain!"

Quick to jump to conclusions, aren’t we, Thesus? Granted, from the outside, it does sound like Team Disaster did walk straight into, er, disaster and perished as a result.

"Y-yes!" he stammered.

"Keep up the good work then. I'll expect great things from you."

Good to see Blue finally getting the recognition he deserves from the Guild. No promotion, though? Lame.

I like Jain already, how she doesn’t take Thesus’s overreactions, acknowledges Blue’s work for the Guild, and offers to help Rio at first glance. Her leading Rio away might also help us glean more about our resident explosive Riolu as well.

Guildmaster Jain helped establish the town itself, a well known explorer in her youth, one who had led so many expeditions.

An interesting tidbit of info, but I think this might’ve been better if Blue said this as opposed to it being told through narration. It could also help capture Blue in a more starry-eyed phase as he takes in the praise given to him by Jain herself.

"A Carbink asked me not to." Blue's eyes widened at the Noctowl's words, remembering Rio's story. "Through those doors no less."

And pray tell, why is that? Is it something the supposed queen doesn’t want getting out? What’s so precious about this info that it can’t be leaked right this second? To Rio’s affiliates, nonetheless?

"Grass Knot. It is your reward for fulfilling my request, and yours alone. Do you know how to use it?"

Neat of Thesus to give a reward to Blue for his hard work. At least he looks out for his pupil. I suppose there’s a bit of good in everyone, even the crotchety librarian types like him.

Blue nodded, and ran after his team, excited to show them what he could now do. He didn't notice the Noctowl's frown, or what he whispered under his breath.

"Be safe."

Though by the looks of things, it’ll be a bit longer before he learns to trust the rest of Team Disaster. And maybe he’s also referring to the dangers that may be arising in the background.

The healers wing of the guild tower looked nice blues and whites of the painted walls held some basic hygiene and grooming tips for all kinds of Pokemon.

I admit this line feels a bit muddy and disconnected. Perhaps it could be cleaned up to be more like this?:

“The healer’s wing of the Guild tower looked nice. Its walls were painted soft blue and white, and hung up around the room were some basic hygiene and grooming tips for all kinds of Pokémon.”

Looks a bit cleaner this way, in my opinion.

'Get between your scales!' 'Don't be a Grimer!' 'DON'T USE EKANS OIL, IT MAKES THE BURNING WORSE.' 'Wash your fur often!'

One of these is not like the other. Someone clearly wants to get a message out about Ekans oil, I see. :copyka: Perhaps there was once a medic in the Guild who believed in that stuff and since then, the Guild have tried hard to stomp out their influence.

There were six comfortable chairs to go along with the beds, but Rio had destroyed three in his time there.

Bad news for the medics, but good news for carpenters around Wonder City, who are surely gonna revel in the extra purchases as a result of Rio’s explosiveness.

He snatched the jar as soon as she gave him the go-ahead, grabbing a handful of the small candies and popping them into his mouth. They were sweet, just the way he liked them.

Rio has a sweet tooth as well, eh? Another trait to add to the pile. And the fact that he likes all kinds of gummis marks him as an intriguing outlier…

Also, dang that is a lot of gummis. Watch Scales demolish most of them when they’re presented to the rest of the group.

I see there’s some mild PTSD in Rio from the Mewtwo fight. Here’s hoping he doesn’t freeze up too much. Though with all these secrets he’s keeping, from the trances he goes into when collecting Z-Crystals to this, there’s gonna come a time where he needs to sit down and tell his teammates about all this.

Also maybe don’t take so many gummis next time, Rio, because shattered glass can be dangerous. Shoulda just brought the gummis themselves without the jars, to be honest. Though this was a good chuckle at the end of this chapter. :mewlulz:

Conclusion

And that’ll be that for now.

I gotta say, I had a blast going through these first fifteen chapters! I’ve anticipated reading this fic for a while now, and I’m happy to say I was not disappointed. The characters are all really engaging, and the dynamics of Team Disaster are always fun to see. All of them are lovable and charismatic, and each has their own quirks to them that make it easy to become attached to them as a reader.

I also really like how this story is presented as being a more lighthearted PMD entry. There’s a good amount of humour to it, which I love to see. Several moments like Rio’s explosiveness and Team Disaster constantly bantering with one another made for funny moments to look forward to. :mewlulz:Also the chapters are really short and digestible, and make for fairly easy reading. Brevity is the soul of wit, and witty is this fic by its brevity. While it does have its dark moments, like the implied origins of Rio, the fic’s setting is still fairly light, with not huge stakes presented to our heroes at the minute. And yet there’s an undercurrent of intrigue that leaves us eagerly anticipating where this is all going to end up. Rio’s origins are what intrigue me most, as well as just who the Masters are, and I look to seeing how this fic will answer those questions in future chapters.

I don’t have a huge amount to criticise - it’s mostly typos and descriptions feeling a bit off in parts like I’ve outlined at various points in this review. But those are small nitpicks in the grand scheme of things. I really enjoyed reading this, and I’ll definitely look forward to reading more of this fic in the future.

Great work! Keep it up!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, it's been... uh, a while since I last read this fic, but it was on there for stories that I wanted to get back into, and with Review Blitz going on on TR, now seemed as good a time as any to do so. So let's do a double-feature tonight, starting with:

Chapter 9

It has been documented that Humans and Pokemon shared some kind of relationship. Some records lament the loss of their partners, some express relief that they are gone, and they all vary. What happened to them is unknown, and their strange technologies used to augment Pokemon are lost to time.


Can't tell whether or not this is a sign that LL's take on Canonworld is post-apocalyptic, or if they're intended to be multiversal strangers to it. I'm leaning towards the former, but I suppose we'll find out one way or another in this story soon enough.

Blue was fascinated by this. The relationship between humans and Pokemon had been heavily debated for years, and he had seen both sides of the coin. The topic fascinated him, and reading about potential benefits for both sides was absorbing. He was so engrossed he didn't even hear Rio coming back, despite the damage he wrought.

The most notable would be what we now refer to as an Awakening. Humans had a way to trigger a temporary evolution in certain Pokemon, but the secret has been lost to time. In current times these species have developed ways to access these forms, be it through training or a special item, like an emera or awakening seed.

Wait, so then does the form of Awakening where Pokémon that don't have a MegaEvo in-game just get stronger and get a visual effect not exist? Or is that also around, too?

The thought of these bracelets being some kind of looplet crossed the Bidoof's mind, but they were built very differently from what he had seen of the rare item.

There are many rumors of other powers in this vein. Some say they could make Pokemon grow to enormous sizes, while others say they could pool on each other's power to perform devastating attacks.

Ah yes, Dynamax and Z-Moves there, I see. Based on the cover art, I'm guessing that the last one is going to become plot-relevant.

The common through-like is the use of special stones. Some were round, some were like stars, and some were even diamond-shaped. I believe the shapes are-

Blue paused when he read diamond-shaped. Still completely oblivious to the librarian's rage, he glanced at the bracelet around his front leg. Diamond-shaped grooves dotted the strange stone. In fact, he'd seen that exact shape before. He kept it in his bandana!


Yeah, I figured. Though sounds like Team Disaster are going to need to bounce pretty fast given that sort of reception to the damage Rio caused while fleeing his ex.

"I FOUND SOME-" he started, just now noticing what was going on. The new door was the first thing that got his attention, taking up quite a bit of wall. Then he noticed the cracks that branched from the door. Then there were the faintly glowing gems which Pana looked like she was drooling over. Then he noticed Rio, who sprinted away a few hours ago, was organizing books under the glare of his mentor. They had all turned to look at him, confused at his outburst.

"Did I miss something?" he asked, confusion winning against elation.

"Found a door," Rio said casually. "Waiting for Scales. Made a mess."

>Found a door Yeah, okay, buddy. That's not how I remember things going down the last time I read this story. >:V Though you're missing some sort of transition between the gems and Pana. I threw one in as a suggestion.

"Now keep cleaning it," Thesus hissed. Rio didn't even argue as he picked up more old tomes. Blue couldn't blame him, the seething anger in the Noctowl's voice seemed to echo through the room. It must have been worse for a guy who could sense emotion.

So on a scale of 1 to "nails on a chalkboard", how unpleasant is that for Rio right now, anyways? o<o

"And you said there were more of these gems inside, right?" Pana asked Rio. This was the most animated he'd seen the Pancham, eyes wide and a grin playing on her lips. She looked good, better than the resting frown at least. "A lot more?"

"We aren't strip-mining the mysterious Dungeon," Rio said, placing another book.

"Dungeon?" Blue asked, climbing out of his small book fortress. "You came out of a Dungeon?"

Blue: "Wait, wait, wait. Hold up, when did this happen again?" .-.

"I'm waiting for Scales before I explain. It's kind of- oh there he is."

Blue could hear the Hakamo-o's scales jingling as he walked down the stairs. He looked tired, which made sense considering what he was trying to keep track of.

"Think Griza left town," he said. "The guild might have sent someone after them. Lotsa broken shit. Maybe Rio can come back-"


How on earth is she even allowed into town considering the trail of destruction that she leaves whenever she gets wind of Rio being around?
:copyka:


"That was mostly Griza," Rio defended himself. Scales turned to see him, startled. "I think. May have broken some orbs."

"Then you really pissed off an Alakazam." Pana sighed as she asked her question. "What else did you break?"

"A few doors, a lock, should be about it."

I like how nonchalant Rio is about all of this. I suppose that's a sign that this isn't his first rodeo with his ex causing property damage.
:loltias~1:


[ ]

"And did anyone get a good look at you?"

"Probably not."

"Alright," Pana sighed. "Hopefully they won't be able to pin it on us this time."

"This time?" Blue asked.

Yeah, I knew it, though I do wonder if Pana should've had some body language here such as a dubious expression or folding her arms or something. Since up to this point, we've been in a pretty long unbroken string of lines of dialogue.

"Later Blue," Rio said. "What did you find?"

Blue was still hung up on the fact this was apparently not the first time his new team had brought havoc onto the community, but his find did at least push that little fact out of the way. For now.

I mean, they're literally called Team Disaster, Blue. >:V

"There's a good chance these are human in origin!" Blue said excitedly. "You know, ancient beings that worked with Pokemon? The race that some of the world saviors supposedly belonged to?"

"We're familiar," Rio said, scratching at his neck. "What do they do?"

You're missing a newline in between these two paragraphs. Or at least you are on your TR version.

"No idea, but I might have a way to find out!" Without another word, Blue fished out the strange diamond-shaped stone out of his bandana, grabbing it in his teeth. He held up his front leg and tried to place it in one of the slots. It slid right off, missing one of the slots. Blue cursed his lack of arms once again.

"Help?" he asked shyly.

I mean, technically, he could rear up and use his forepaws, but I'm assuming that they're not able to really grip things effectively if he was defaulting to using his teeth here.

Without another word, Thesus flapped over and picked the stone up with a talon. He took the opportunity to examine the bracelet closely.

"This won't destroy my library, correct?" he asked Blue.

"Probably not," Blue answered. "Hopefully."

Thesus: "... I'm sorry, but this sounds like a really good argument for you all to do this outside." ÒvÓ
Blue: "But then you'd have to step away from your books to help, so..."
:joltyshrug~1:


Thesus glared at the Bidoof, and Blue returned his stare. The Noctowl knew there was no way he'd risk the books in here, so he slid the stone in the bracelet. It fit perfectly, and predictably, nothing happened.

"I believe these were made for each other," Blue explained, getting louder as he got more excited. "My stone has something to do with this!"

Scales: "Huh, so the weird things you have didn't blow up in our faces for once." Blue: "... Do they normally do that for you all?" .-.
Pana: "More than you could imagine." >_>;

Blue looked away to gauge his audience's reaction. He looked to have the full attention of everyone in the room. Pana had looked away from the pink gems, Scales had sat down next to her to listen, and Rio squinted at the Bidoof's bracelet, looking back at his own. Was-was he drooling?

Oh, so it's not just Pana who's got gem-lust at the moment. 😛

"We're missing something," Blue continued, deciding to ask about it later. "but if we can figure out what we've made, we'll make a huge discovery!"

"About that," Rio interrupted. "I think they're called Z-Rings."

Blue: "Wait, wait, wait. How on earth do you know that?" .-.

Blue paused at that, turning to look at the Riolu. He sounded so confident when Thesus, repositioned himself to do the same. Pana and Scales turned to glance at him as well. Rio returned their gazes, frowning.

"And how would you know that young mon?" the Noctowl asked, now glaring. Rio gestured at the new door in response.

"It's a part of the test, apparently," Rio said. Blue was about to ask him what exactly he meant when Pana did it for him.

"Test?" Pana jumped in. "What test?"

Blue: "... I have so many questions right now."
:what:


Rio then told the group about his mini-adventure in the strange Dungeon, his encounter with the sentient rocks, and what he heard from their conversation.

"...and the door led back here," the Riolu finished. "What do you think?"

"I've never heard of a Dungeon forming anywhere near such a dense population," Blue said. "Much less under a city!"

Blue: "Which is probably a really, really bad sign for this town, but..."
:fearfullaugh~1:


"It's unheard of," Thesus said. "And you said it was growing?"

"That's what the Graveler said," Rio confirmed. "Sounded like this wasn't the first time."

It's going to wind up sucking the town in in like five chapters, isn't it?

"And you're sure that's everything?" Blue asked, already thinking.

"That's it. You got any ideas?"

The rest of his team turned to look at him, and Blue's short-lived confidence withered. He had nothing. He just heard about this!

Blue: "I mean, I didn't even know these things were even called 'Z-Rings', so..." ^^;

"W-well I, um-" Blue started.

"There are a few Pokemon referred to as a queen naturally," Thesus said, saving Blue from the embarrassment. "I have suspicions about who is proctoring."

Blue sighed, silently thanking Thesus. The rest of the team shifted their gazes to the Noctowl, who had gone silent.

"And those are?" Pana asked.

"While I do support the distribution of free knowledge," he started, glaring at Rio in particular. "it doesn't excuse the damages done today."

Rio: "Seriously, Thesus?"
:riowtf~1:

Thesus: "Well then, I suppose you'd better pay your dues for those damages if you want that information, then, hmm?" ^v^

A chill ran down Blue's spine.

"Destruction of both public and private property, unabashed chaos caused, and the near-miss damage of my precious books. I could bring these all to the guild and have your badges revoked."

All:
:fearfullaugh~1:

Rio: "Look, I know that you're mad about earlier, but we need those to keep going in this story!"
:riohnolu:


Blue was close to panic at this point. He'd just gotten onto a powerful team, and now his mentor was planning to destroy it? He could, Rio had just admitted to it and the guild would take the librarians word over the scruffy Riolu. Would his dream be that short-lived? He turned to see Pana and Scale's eyes widen, but not Rio's. He seemed far too calm.

"Unless?" the Riolu asked, obviously sensing something more.

"Unless," Thesus continued. "You bring me something. I have a job for you."

Pana: "I'm sorry, how is this not blackmail right now?" >_>;
Thesus: "It is blackmail, and if you value your standing in the guild, you'll play along with it."

Blue sighed in relief, and the rest of his team followed. [ ]

"Do this right and I will claim ignorance of your actions, young mon."

"Rio."

"Rio, then."

"What are we looking for?"

IMO, it might make sense to put in some description of Thesus' reaction to Blue and the rest sighing there before he speaks up. Since it just feels like one of those
:absus:
moments, but it's not really described.

Thesus flapped over to the other side of the room, picking an old scroll after some deliberation. He flapped back over and laid it down on a table. Blue stepped forward to get a closer look and the rest of the team followed.

"Unfurl it," the Noctowl ordered. "Carefully."

Pana did so, revealing an old map of the area. So old in fact the city wasn't even labeled.

Rio: "Geez, when on earth was this thing made? Back then Lucario the Hero was still going on adventures?"
:eltywtf:


"This area has always been a hotspot for Dungeons." Thesus continued. "It's only been recently that that has intensified. Wonder City itself was built to capitalize on that fact, making it a relatively new settlement."

He pecked at a spot down the river, looking to be a few days away. "I was once an explorer, and I discovered a strange Dungeon here. I gleaned as much as possible, but with your strange bracelets it might be possible to discover more, and delve deeper."

I think that Thesus is missing a step with the part that’s underlined. Since he goes from him talking about his past experiences, to "you can go deeper". Like he doesn't give any indication of how deep he made it or if there was a certain spot he kept getting stuck on, which I think is what's missing to complete his train of thought.

"Why would these help?" Pana asked, looking at her own bracelet.

[ ]

"Because it was unlike anything I'd ever seen, only heard about in ancient stories. I believe it may be human in origin."

Blue could feel his excitement returning. Human relics? Things no other Pokemon had ever seen? Incredible! But something was bothering him.

Another spot where showing off Thesus' reaction might be called for since it can help set the mood for the moment. Though that makes me wonder what on earth is down there for a ruin? Another abandoned lab / power generator?

"This sounds incredible," Blue added. "Why haven't you told anyone? Published your findings?"

"I wanted to discover all I could before other exploration teams came and disturbed it further. I tried many things before you came along, and now I'd like to try again."

He turned to face the rest of the team once again. "I'm trusting you with this for two reasons. You may hold the keys to delve further in, and because this may concern this test of yours. If successful, I will tell you more about my suspicions."

Rio: "Wait a minute. How on earth do you know about our test-?"
:riowtf~1:

Thesus: "Well? Do we have a deal?"

He glared at Rio when he said his next line. "Please don't break any ancient treasures you find. Bring them back here so I may study them. Do this, and I will forget you did here today."

Aha, so that's the story behind the chapter title there.

Blue turned to the rest of his team, who were glancing at each other. They nodded in unison and then turned to Blue. He was surprised to be involved in a decision like this, but he nodded his agreement. He should be safe, right? Even if he was dead weight.

"We'll do it," Rio said. "And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry about wrecking the place."

Narrator: "He's not sorry. He's sorry about the consequences."

"Do this and it will be like nothing happened. Do you have a map? I'll be able to mark it down. Now, go prepare you three. It will be a few days' walk down the river. Bring a more recent map back here so I may mark it. I'll tell Blue how to find the Dungeon."

[ ]

"I guess I'll start by getting some food-" Scales started. "Oh no you're not!" Pana cut him off. "You're coming with me, and we're getting new items. Rio, grab that map and pack some leftovers!"

IMO, you're missing some combination of description and/or internal thought to transition into Team Disaster starting to get a move on after getting their instructions here.

Rio nodded. "Meet back here in about an hour?"

They all nodded and set off to do their tasks. "Please don't break anything this time," Pana asked her teammates.

"I haven't broken shit!" Scales said, defending himself. Soon their voices faded as they walked up the stairs to complete their preparations.

Well, this time, anyways. Since I'll take the under on Scales not having broken stuff in the past.

"Now then," Thesus said, getting Blue's attention back. "We need to talk." The old bird looked worried all of a sudden. Based on what happened earlier, Blue couldn't blame him.

"I'm worried about you."

That wasn't what Blue expected to hear. He blinked, uncomprehending for a minute. Thesus sighed and continued.

Blue: "Wait, but why? What's wrong with me?" ._.;

"How long have you known those three?"

"A few days," Blue answered instantly.

[ ]

"And why would you join a team that you just met? A team that destructive?"

"They invited me."

Oh, well. That would explain it.
:copyka:


Though yeah, this feels like another part where showing off more of either Thesus' reaction or Blue's internal processing would make sense.

[ ]

"And you accepted? You were not forced?"

"Why would I be? I'm dead weight."

[ ]

"I disagree, but for the sake of argument, let's assume that. Why would you accept?"


Ditto for these two parts in brackets here.

Blue thought this was a stupid question. It was pretty obvious, but it would have been rude not to answer.

"They gave me a chance," Blue said. "I'm not letting it go to waste."

"And what if their intentions are less than stellar?"

[ ]

"If they were going to do anything to me they would've done it the day we met. I was completely at their mercy for the past two days and they've been nothing but accepting. I trust them."

"Yes, but, Team Disaster! There is a story behind that!"

Oh, we're about to find out what that story is, aren't we?
:copyka:


"There's also a story behind the fire incident but you don't like bringing that up!" Blue spat, instantly regretting it.

[ ] Thesus was just looking out for him. Snapping at one of the only people in this town that cared about his well-being wasn't a good thing to do.

"I'll be careful," Blue reassured his mentor. "I promise."

I kinda wonder if it'd have made sense to describe how Thesus is taking being back-talked by his pupil like this. Like is he taken aback? Is he looking like:

Image


in live-time? Lots of room to fill in the gaps there right now, which presently makes it a bit hard to pick up on the intended mood.

The Noctowl sighed. "At least do that much. And if you can, don't let them break anything!"

"I only promise to try."

Blue's going to have an epic fail at keeping that promise, isn't he? ^^;

And speeding right along into…

Chapter 10

Though that title’s totally a positive omen for where things are going to go for Blue and his experience with Team Disaster, really.
:copyber:


"So, this isn't the first time you guys did something like this?"

Rio glanced at Blue as the team walked downstream. The sun shone through the treeline, glinting off the clear water. The Bidoof had been more quiet than usual as the trip, and Rio could feel some hesitation in his Aura. Something was bothering him.

"Breaking stuff?" Scales asked. "Nope. That happens a lot around us."

Blue: "And you just find all of this normal?" .-.
Scales: "I mean, it all just kinda blurs together after a while, so..."
:joltyshrug~1:


"Is that the real reason you guys moved out here?"

Rio winced at that. He found himself reflecting on their first job, tracking down a thief. The Frogadier had been plaguing that small town for months, taking anything that wasn't nailed down. They were so desperate they decided to trust a brand new team that was passing through.

They took it of course. For all the frogs sneaking he couldn't hide his Aura, and the three of them cornered him easily. The only problem was that they had cornered him in the middle of town, and he didn't go down without a fight.

They took a net loss on that job, didn't they? :V

After all was said and done they had put a sizable hole in the side of the town hall, and somehow started a fire next to it, nearly burning the rest of town hall down. They didn't get paid because of that, but it did go to their team rank.

I mean, at least they didn't go into debt? So it still could've ended worse for them than it did. ^^;

"It may have been a part of it…" Rio said. "But what happened at the library wasn't even close to the worst."

"Arceus Almighty, the ship," Pana groaned, burying her face in her palm.

"That one wasn't us!" Rio defended.

Image


"We didn't make it better. In fact, Scales made the hole bigger!"

"Hey," Scales said, jumping in. "I only made it a little bigger."

"And then you SPLIT THE THING IN HALF!"

"It was already sinking!"

... How on earth do these guys manage to get jobs as an Exploration Team in the present day?
:copyka:


Blue: "... Yeah, I'm beginning to understand why Thesus gave me that warning before I left."
:FearfulMeowth:


Rio could feel Blue's horror grow, but it was soon overshadowed by pure curiosity.

"How?" the Bidoof asked, turning to the dragon.

Blue: "You're one mon! How does one mon split a ship in half?!"
:grohno~2:


"I dunno, just put my hand through it and we were swimming." Scales said casually. "Had to lug everyone to shore, then we ran like hell."

"But you said that wasn't your fault?"

[ ]

"Captain didn't think so," Rio said. "Said we had to pay him back every cent the ship was worth."

It might make sense to interleave a bit more reactions or internal thoughts from Rio here and there, since I feel like there's some comedy value to be had that's presently being left on the table.

Though I suppose that this would explain why they ran like hell there. Do they still have that debt outstanding for that ship? 😛

"So you just ran?"

"After Pana knocked him out."

"YOU DID WHAT?" Blue turned to Pana, who was surprised by his sudden outburst. She stumbled back a few steps, her usually calm demeanor shattered by the Bidoof. Rio was impressed, it took a lot for that to happen. "I thought you were the rational one!"

Pana: "Look, it was that or going in enough debt to be swabbing ship decks for the rest of our lives. That was the rational decision there." >_>;

"We're not made of money," Pana explained, quickly regaining her composure. "That was... easier."

"Assault was easier?"

"Justified assault, yes."

Yeah, I'm beginning to remember why I had a good time with the earlier chapters of this story. That nonchalant delivery is just
:LULgia:
-tier.

[ ]

"After you helped break his ship?"

[ ]

"Look, we'll probably never meet him again," Rio said, coming to his teammates' rescue. "Just stay away from Port Topaz."

They're totally going to wind up having to go to Port Topaz at some point in this story, I can already tell. Though I suppose that was the reason why they only just got a house at the start of the story. Since I can't imagine with how much of a misfortune magnet they are, that they won't inevitably wear out their welcome in Wonder Town.

"You seriously got banned from a major port city?" Blue said, dismay obvious in his voice and Aura.

"Not exactly banned, and they never got our names…"

"But-"

Yeah, they're banned from there. Which is going to make things amazing for if they really do have to go there at some point. o<o

"Oh look, the sun's going down!" Rio said, pointing at the sky, desperate to change the subject. The sun was indeed setting, and they had just reached a grassy clearing. Perfect to set up camp for the night. "I'll get some firewood! Wanna come with Pana?"

"Uh, sure-"

"Great!"

With that, he tossed the bag of supplies to Scales, who caught it without looking, grabbed Pana's arm, and dragged her into the forest before the rest of the team could argue.

Rio: "Phew, lucky save there. For a second, I thought the new guy was going to bail on us."
:sweats:


Blue watched as Scales dug out the fire pit. The Hakamo-o used his claws to rip into the earth, tearing chunks out of the earth. He just threw what he was done with behind him, Not caring what was there.

Blue: "I'm sorry, but are you just like this for everything that you do?"
:wtfuckle:

Scales: "I mean, it works, doesn't it?" ^^;

Unfortunately, Blue was there. He had moved, of course, but by then he had already taken several clawfulls of dirt right in the face. Scales turned towards him as he finished, grinning. Blue only stared back, dirt still clear. The dragon's smiled faded.

"Sorry," he said. Blue shook it off as he sat down to wait for the others to get back.

Blue:
giphy.gif


A thought crossed the Bidoof's mind. The other two liked to keep at least some things to themselves, Pana especially. Scales seemed to be much more forthcoming with information. Maybe he could get some more of their history out of him?

"It's fine," Blue told the dragon. "I'm used to it."

"Alright, cool."

Narrator: "He was absolutely not fine with it."

"Yup." They were silent for a bit, and Scales didn't seem too uncomfortable. It was now or never. Or, more realistically, weeks later when he mustered up the nerve to ask again.

"So, how long have you known them?"

"Hm? Oh, Pana and Rio? They're family! My brother and sister!"

Blue: "Adoptive? Or...?"
:eltywtf:


Blue blinked at that. Once, twice, three times. He could see several problems with that statement right off the bat.

"How?" Blue asked after a bit, still confused.

"Adoption."

Yeah, I figured.

Blue felt stupid for not even considering. It was common enough. "Oh, I see. That makes more sense."

"Yeah. Mom and Dad took me and Pana in, and then Rio washed up a few years later."

"Washed up?"

Wait, like in the Explorers games? Since if so and that's implying what I think it is about Rio, that would certainly explain a thing or two about how Rio was able to so reflexively ID those Z-Rings last chapter. .-.

The grin growing on Scales's face vanished at that. "I'll let Rio tell you about that. He gets a little touchy about it."

"Does it have something to do with that scar?"

Scales winced at that. "Can't hide anything from you, huh? When did you even see that?"

"Before the Dungeon. His fur was sticking up."

Scales: "Yeah... I... should really stop talking and just let you ask him yourself, huh?"
:ooflithe:


"Don't bring it up." He said, voice cracking a bit. "It wasn't pretty…"

A connection had already formed in Blue's mind. Rio's strange appearance, his adoption, the injury, the only thing missing was the area he came from. The Bidoof hoped it wasn't what he thought.

That he was thrown away.

... Well that's definitely a lot darker than I was expecting for a background there, but yes, I suppose that would be another way for a Pokémon to just wash up on a beach in a PMD setting.
:copyka2:


Blue pushed the thought aside. The odds of him coming from that island were astronomical! Besides, hybrids were thrown away as soon as they showed signs of another species over there! Rio seemed to be too old for that, based on what Scales told him. Hybrids usually got those out of the gate or during early infancy. Still, it was probably for the best that they never visit the Isle of Evolution. He didn't care how many bandits Rio could take out, an entire cult gunning for him would be too much.

Huh. I didn't realize that there were species hybrids in this setting. I wonder if this was established in an earlier chapter and I'm just forgetting, or if this is something new.

"Alright," Blue continued out loud. "Sorry if I crossed a line…"

"Don't worry about it!" The Hakamo-o's grin returned full force. "Probably should get to know us better anyway. What about yours?"

"My what?"

"Your family?"

"Oh!" Blue said, surprised he'd even ask.

Come on, Blue. It's storytime. :V

[ ]

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. No one's ever cared to ask. Kind of a weird feeling."

[ ]

"Seriously? Weird."

This was the first time since he moved out here that anyone showed the slightest interest in Blue's life. Not even Mr. Thesus had shown that much. It was a weird feeling, someone asking him a personal question. Not unpleasant, just strange.

Great mentor there, Blue. /s

"Well, I have a mother and four siblings back in Redwood."

"Where's that?"

"A little north of here, further inland. This stone-" He held out his front leg, stone still shoved inside the bracelet. "It's a family heirloom. Mom gave it to me for luck."

[ ]

"Cool. Did she know about what it might be?" "Probably not. She would have told me if that was the case."

I take it that Redwood has a bunch of really, really tall trees with a name like that.

[ ] "You gonna tell her?"

"As soon as I see her!" Blue was grinning now. "I finally have something to show after two years!"

[ ]

"Nice! Hey, what do you think we'll find in there?"

"It could be anything. We have such little information on humans, and the ones who supposedly turned into Pokemon seemed to be young themselves. Not to mention the stories are old. They've definitely twisted over the years."

Wait, wait, wait. Just how long after the events of Super is this story with dialogue like that? .-.

"Cool, cool. Any human dishes?"

Blue wasn't quite sure he heard that right. "I'm sorry?"

The grin on the dragon's face grew even wider."You know, human foods! I've heard they made the best stuff to eat!"

Is there even going to be anything edible in a ruin as old as what the earlier dialogue was implying beyond maybe honey?
:eltywtf:


"I mean, maybe?" Blue could see the saliva gathering around his large jaws. The Bidoof was surprised to see him care so much about something that mundane. "Seems unlikely. I don't think anything like that would last for that long."

"We'll see about that!"

"I guess we will…"

Blue: "(And knowing their luck, if we someone did find a human dish in those ruins, it'd probably be poisoned or something like that.)" .-.

"Why the hell did you drag me away?"

Rio and Pana stuck true to their word, gathering firewood, and even finding some Chesto berries. That would help whoever was keeping watch. They held their bundles under their arms as they trudged back to the campsite.

"How much do we tell Blue?" Rio asked.

"About?"

"Everything."

I can already tell this is going to lead towards the "keep secrets" end of things given how much Blue was getting freaked out just from two incidents that these two recalled.

Rio could feel it. Every time they talked about the collateral damage they were involved in, Blue's Aura wrapped around him, his discomfort obvious. He didn't want to make their new friend uncomfortable, but he also didn't want to hide potential life-threatening issues.

Yeah, I had a feeling.

"I mean, we're behind most of those," Pana said, turning to face Rio. "Shouldn't be able to trace it back to us. And most were accidents by you two."

I think that the bit in underline would be better phrased as something like "we've left most of those incidents behind", as in "we've moved on", since I initially read Pana's line as "we're responsible for most of those incidents"

"You're not completely innocent yourself."

"Oh really? Name one time I fucked up as bad as you did today."

Rio squinted his eyes at that. "That babysitting job?"

"Those brats were trouble and you know it!"

Oh boy, it's just one thing after another with these guys, isn't it?
:silvlully:


"Whatever," Rio took in a deep breath before finishing his thought. "We need to warn him about the Masters."

Pana's eyes widened at that. Her Aura started to shift rapidly. Rio could feel her fear, her shame, and her determination all at once. It was the same as his own.

"Mom and dad won't find us," she said after a while.

I suppose I should be less surprised about this after Scales referred to Pana and Rio as being his siblings in the last scene.

"For now," Rio clarified. "You know they're probably already looking. And with Griza finding us…"

"You think she'll tell on us? Tell on you?"

[ ]

"Maybe! She's still obsessed with me! You saw her today!"

I'd frankly be more worried about Griza not telling on you for the sake of being able to have you all to herself, Rio.
:copyka:


"Yeah, she's as crazy as ever, but it looks like she was doing her own thing. She's probably not even in contact with them. How could she be?"

"We've been leaving a trail. If those do get traced back to us, we're found."

"They won't, Rio," Pana said, more trying to reassure herself than him. "They can't."

Ah yes, I can see that
:FearfulMeowth:
expression growing over her face in live-time.

Rio wasn't as confident. That boat thing especially wouldn't just disappear. It was how they got to the mainland, after all.

Oh, so a trip to Port Topaz is in the cards at some point in the future, then. o<o

"We need to at least warn him," the Riolu continued after a while. "I don't want him to get caught up in this."

"Would they really take him with us?"

Rio was amazed she even asked that question. They both knew the answer!

"Of course they would!" He shouted. Pana grimaced and looked away, knowing he was right. They'd done worse things with less time, and it wasn't like anything could hold them accountable.

Oh, well that's not ominous at all for where things are going to go in the future. ^^;

"Can we at least wait until this is over? We probably shouldn't distract him."

Rio nodded in agreement, still determined to be honest with Blue about the risks of working with Team Disaster, no matter how outlandish or unlikely they might be.

Yeeeeah, I can already tell that it's not going to wind up playing out that easily. Whether by them dragging their feet, or something else entirely coming up to get them to kick the can down the road.

Alright, time for the recap. It's been a long time since I crossed paths with this story, much longer than it probably ought to have been, but even after so long I'm almost immediately reminded of the charm of this thing and why I got into it in the first place. The humor is on-point as always, and had me audibly chuckling at a couple points, while at the same time, you seem to be building towards a broader plot. It'll be interesting to see how you balance that out.

For stuff I wasn't so hot about, it's mostly matters of some spots feeling like they were light on added description or getting into your characters' heads. I'm pretty sure that I also brought it up in my reviews way back when, but it just felt like stuff was getting left on the table for being able to visualize things and to squeeze in a couple more gags in a story that is driven heavily by its sense of humor.

But on the whole, I think that you've got a nice package here, @BlackHairedPsycho . I'll be looking forward to coming back to this story again in the future, if ideally with a bit less of a wait than last time. ^^;
 

Arukona

A Scribe Penning His Brainworms
Location
Ardalion
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. aggron
  2. sceptile
  3. lucario
Hello again! Figured I'd drop by for a second helping of this fic, seeing as how much I liked the first fifteen chapters from my initial review I sent at the beginning of this round of Blitz. Also might as well avail of the 'Review fics you've already read!' bonus that's hanging over all our heads for the week that's about to end soon, and use this fic on account of its short chapters making easy Review Blitz points fodder. :copyka: May as well kill two Pidgey with the one Stone Edge that way.

Anyway, last time we were dealing with Rio's explosive sneezing, so let's pick up the baton from where I left off:

Chapter 16
Yep, still as afflicted as he was. What a nuisance colds are, and how doubly irritable must it be to be popping off like an aura firecracker as a result of having one.

Rio sneezed again, blowing up the chair beneath him and rocking the table.

I said this in the last review, but again: Wonder City's carpenters are gonna be making bank from replacing all these blown-up chairs. :mewlulz:

Yum, all that food sounds delicious! Though betting any money it costed a pretty penny and our resident Big Eater Hakamo-o listened to his stomach sooner than his wallet.

“The chair cost is included. No refunds,” he said, and walked away.

Never a good sign when they have to specify 'no refunds' on top of everything else.

Aw, we didn't get to see the cost for our own eyes? Lame.

Pana, after some hesitation, bought a huge basket of sitrus berries and made Rio eat one on the spot.

Was there a need to buy a whole basket if one would've done the trick? Especially given Pana's reluctance to spend and her anger thus far at the excessive spending of Rio and Scales.

“Huh,” Scales said, grabbing a light pink one. Blue could only watch the dragon wretch as he consumed the fairy gummi, just managing to turn away from the others as he spat it out. The Bidoof was relieved he didn’t have to test it himself.

“Arceus,” he continued. “That was the worst thing I've ever eaten…”

I imagine it goes doubly so for gummis of types that also happen to have a 4x weakness against you. Man, that fairy gummi must be like an unripe lemon to Scales.

Surprising to see a to-be Water-type have such control over the grass. Then again, a fair amount of Water-types do learn Grass Knot, so perhaps that's not unusual.

Unfortunately, he forgot where the grass grew, and flipped himself over as a result.

Oof, a self-suplex with your own move. That's gotta hurt.

At least tripping over Scales with the Grass Knot is a nice bit of comic relief, and a bit of payback on Pana's end. Hell, even the Hakamo-o himself is a good sport about it all. Says much about the playful banter that fuels Team Disaster.

“As for Rio, take it easy. I don’t want any holes in the yard.”

“No promises,” Rio said, sniffling.

That yard's going to look like a blown-up minefield when Pana and Scales get back, won't it? But hey, it'll result in a stronger Blue, so it's probably worth it.

Chapter 17
Indeed, broken ribs are not fun. Granted, I can't attest to personal experience, but I can't imagine it would be pleasant.

Oh boy, seems like Griza's encountered our runaway abomination. That can't end well...either for her or for Team Disaster, whenever she meets them next.

Surprised that Griza's so willing to help out here. Maybe it's down to her not exactly being great at taking hints?
A Bewear. She smiled at it. The Pokemon was of no threat.

Certainly not something you could say for Rio's side of things.
803821849384583219.webp


All this description certainly paints the power of Bewear, and how one should certainly not dream of pissing them off.

"No problem. I know broken ribs when I see em."

No doubt caused by your own hand, Griza? And might Rio have been subject to that treatment at one point? I am aware Stufful don't quite have the same level of power as their evolution, but surely they would still have some element of that super strength.

A being without a name...It'll take a while before it knows the true answer to that.

"I know of the concept of orphans. You do not have to explain."

Well, if nothing else, it does follow in the path of the abomination being a grump like it's normally depicted in other media. Funny, because I can think of two other fics with Mewtwo in them that subvert this norm and make him goofy instead.

My boyfriend and his family did that." Her voice seemed to squeak when she mentioned the boyfriend.

Warm thoughts whenever Rio comes to mind? Or is there a hint of guilt over their latest interaction where Rio ran across town just to get away from her?

"I awoke after a long sleep and fought against what I assumed were my captors.

Ah, the old misunderstanding. Looks like it'll take a while to explain this one to our resident abomination from Team Disaster's point of view.

She grinned and thrust her paw in its face. It took a second for Psych to notice there was no hostile intent in the action. The sudden glow in its eyes faded as it took her paw in greeting.

*cue screaming from Psych as Griza crushes his hand in her paw through vigorous shaking*
In any case, I would prefer to never see them again. I do not think I like fighting."

And yet it seemed to be made for that. Perhaps that would explain why other versions of itself broke out of captivity.

"Well that's perfect! I was heading to a port town!

That same port town that Team Disaster were banned from, by any chance?
1146270124161122324.webp


Soon her nose made contact with its snout. "As soon as you're better, I'm taking you to a safe place off the continent."

That...doesn't sound good. Especially with what tidbits of information we've heard thus far about that island off the coast.
635766661743640596.webp


As it munched on the generous meal, it wondered how this boyfriend of Griza's dealt with her.

You'd be surprised to know, Psych. Especially once you lay eyes on just who that boyfriend is...

Chapter 18
Seems quite a training ground has been constructed for our resident Bidoof. Feels like quite a scene of destruction though - for half a second there, I almost thought Blue was in a nightmare.

"Better," Rio said. "Your Grass Knot's really-"

Blue didn't wait for him to finish. He spat a Water Gun at the talkative dog, who simply sidestepped it.

Talking ain't a free action, Rio. This isn't Fire Emblem with all of its lengthy pre-battle conversations.

Good thing Blue's a fast learner - at least he has that going for him. More and more by the day does he fit into the team that he's a newbie to.

Oh, now we're gonna get to see Blue use a Z-move? This should be interesting. After all, if the team want to master how to use these Z-moves without overexerting themselves, they're gonna need to practice doing them often.

Though what's with the pink crystals that popped out of the ground all of a sudden? Now that I think about it, I actually might know what this could be. The rise of the aforementioned Mystery Dungeon under town, and the colour of the crystals may well be in connection to the already mentioned Queen that those guards spoke of...

And it's a pretty serious thing, what with the injured Vulpix cub.
864557228606226442.webp
Things might've just taken a turn for the serious...

"And why was he running at you?"

"Practice."

"What kind of practice?"

Evasive answer. Something tells me Rio, and maybe Pana and Scales as well, are naturals at evasive answering. I mean, they aren't wrong that it was practice.

I keep hearing Trucy and my first thoughts go to Trucy from Ace Attorney. Funny, that's not the first time Ace Attorney has come to mind while reading this fic. :mewlulz: (See my last review regarding Rio's frequent nervous habits.)

He didn't break your snout yourself, did he?"

"Hey!" Rio shouted. "I take pride in what I break!"

What, like those chairs you demolished purely through the power of sneezing?

"Oh yeah," the Riolu said before leaving. "I haven't sneezed in a day. Cold's gone."

"I noticed," the Audino said. "Your body does sound better. I'll clear you for jobs."

Watch him sneeze right there and then and overturn Trucy's decision.

"Here," Rio said after a bit, holding out Blue's bandana. "Game's over, so…"

Blue had a bandana? Huh. I don't recall noticing that previously.

In addition to being written in Unovan, there seems to be some sort of code, and we have no idea what the keyword is."

Ah, the old problem of being unable to transcribe things. Considering all the ancient languages we on Earth still can't translate, I see there's an in-universe equivalent of this in play too.

some as big as an Aggron

:eyes: The mention of my favourite Pokémon in a fic never fails to draw my attention.

Jain's calming Aura is an intriguing thing to mention. I wonder what the story behind that is?

The Riolu wasn't sure whether to be impressed, or disgusted. Manipulation was manipulation, and something like that rubbed him the wrong way. It was %*&^# all over again.

Another reminder of the past, and more evidence of whatever went on on that island that Team Disaster lived on before escaping.

"I could teach it to you, if you can manage a little more control." She squinted, looking down at the fluffy Riolu. "Actually, a lot more control.

Gonna be tricky teaching that to a Riolu that can't even hold in his aura explosions.

They're connected somehow!" Blue's excitement flared, only to be swallowed up by guilt. "Do you think we caused this somehow?"

One too many 'somehows' in this paragraph, I think.

And now we have something of a problem on our hands. The plot begins to thicken...

Conclusion

Great work! More of a view into where the abomination is after the events at the laboratory and now Wonder City has a bit of a crystal problem. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes next!
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, coming back to this for at least one chapter tonight, since I'd gotten a couple reviewing targets for the night tidied up early and figured that I'd stretch a bit with the reading equivalent of comfort food. So let's hop right in with…

Chapter 11

Blue looked at the map for the millionth time, more annoyed than ever. The rushing rapids of the waterfall bore into the Bidoof's head as he tried to focus on his surroundings. The water crashed down into the lake far below, shredding his concentration. Blue hoped the entrance wasn't down there. The climb wouldn't be fun.

Yeah, this is going to be a bit of a recurring problem for him, huh? Since Team Disaster don't exactly feel like the type where it'd be easy to get a ton of peace and quiet around them. :V

"You're sure it's here?" Pana asked for the millionth time. She looked around the river mouth, to see no sign on a dungeon entrance. Scales was stomping around, trying to find some kind of hidden door, and Rio had been standing near the edge with his eyes closed.

"That's what Mr. Thesus said!" Blue shouted back, unable to hold his frustration back.

After a long few days trek, they finally got to the spot marked on the map, the spot Mr. Thesus told them about, only to find nothing. It was maddening! If they messed this up, Blue's dream would be dead. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

Huh. I wasn't expecting there to be that much of a timeskip ahead from the last chapter, but I suppose that would explain a thing or two about how Blue's kinda testy at the moment.

"Nothing on this side," Scales said, ceasing his stomping. "What are we looking for?"

"Metal," Blue said. "Anything metal. A clang, some rust, anything!"

Oh, so the 'mad mon' of this chapter is going to be Blue, huh? Since he already feels like he's well on his way there. :P

Blue looked back to Rio, who was now crouching near the edge. The Bidoof watched as he stuck his head over the cliff, staring into the lake below. It made Blue nervous, but the others didn't seem phased.

"Do you think he's screwing with us?" Pana asked.

"No," Blue answered immediately. "He's always serious. If he intended to turn you in without a chance, he would have just done it."

Blue: "I mean, okay, he might be screwing with us, but he genuinely expects us to get this treasure he talked about as part of it." >_>;

Rio took a step back from the cliff, summoning his Bone Rush. He twirled it around absently, clearly thinking about something.

"Then what the hell!" Pana growled, as the Riolu stabbed his bone into the soft dirt. He tested it, pulling it towards him. The bone remained firmly rooted as the Riolu nodded his approval.

Wait, Rio can do that? Though I suppose he is deceptively strong. I assume that this is that same blue "holobone" that Lucario is depicted with in the anime, but it might make sense to give a reminder to the readers as to what this looks like since IIRC it's been a while since we last saw Rio use Bone Rush.

"Hey Rio?" Blue asked. "What are-"

Without warning, Rio grabbed one end of his staff, and took a step over the cliff. The Riolu plummeted, staff in hand.

giphy.gif


"RIO!" Blue shouted running over to where he jumped. He didn't notice that the staff was still rooted in the ground at first, too distracted by his new friend and teammates apparent suicide attempt. The staff had gone limp at the top, stretching to follow its master over the abyss. Blue stared at the makeshift anchor as the rest of his team rushed over to see.

"What?" Rio shouted over the waterfall. Blue carefully peered over to see Rio just fine, dangling by his makeshift rope bone.

"When did you learn how to do that?" Pana asked, just as confused as Blue was.

"Just now! Cool, right?!"

So what deal with the devil did these three have to do to wind up at once being a disaster magnet while always somehow managing to walk away from them afterwards. ^^;

"Why didn't you warn us?" Blue asked, still in shock.

"Got excited," he answered. "Feels like Scales thought it was funny though."

Blue turned back around to see the Hakamo-o sniggering, his scales clanking together as he tried to shut up. Unfortunately, Pana heard him too. Without warning she slammed her paw right in his stomach. The dragon crumpled, wheezing in agony.

Scales: "Ow! Geez! You could've hit someplace that was actually armored, you know!"
:PainedCabot:

Pana: "Yeah, well now you'll actually get the message!"
:panchamree:


"It was…" Scales wheezed in pain. That only made the Pancham more angry. She punched him again, this time in the back of the head. The dragon didn't seem as hurt by the second blow, head only slightly bobbing.

Scales: "Gah... Rio? How on earth did we get stuck with her on the team?" @.@
Pana: "We're siblings, Scales."
:PanaDisdain:


Blue turned his gaze back to Rio, who was now swinging by his makeshift bone-rope. He watched as the Riolu hit the wall, and heard the clang of metal ring out around them.

"Found it!"

Blue:
:VidriBlink:

"Wait, after all those days. You just... find it... Like that?"
Rio: "Yes? And? Would you rather that we spent the rest of the week still looking for it?"

The bone shrunk back in on itself, pulling Rio back from his reckless experiment. His grin didn't let up as he pulled himself back from the brink, clearly excited.

Pana stomped forward, her glare looking like it could kill. Rio's grin grew even wider as she got closer, her annoyance obvious to everyone.

"I'll kill you later." Pana growled. "Let's go."

Oh, so Pana really is giving a
:PanaDisdain:
face right now, huh? :V

"Question," Blue asked. Pana and Rio turned to him immediately. "I'm not sure you've noticed, but I'm lacking some necessary features for a climb." He sat down and waved his front legs, showing his lack of thumbs. "What do I do?"

Without another word Rio summoned another Bone Rush, this one much shorter than his usual length. The middle went limp, like a rope. He grinned at Blue, and the Bidoof gulped in response. He didn't like where this was going.

Blue: "O-On second thought, I'll just let Scales carry me and-!" O_O;
Scales: "That'd be a bit hard with how Pana keeps decking me. I think I'm gonna need all my claws for this one."
:DizzyCabot:

Blue: "Oh yay, me."
:FearfulMeowth:


Blue learned something new today. A Hakamo-o's scales, in addition to being loud, were very uncomfortable to be tied to. Especially while it's climbing down a cliff.

Scales: "I mean, at least I'm still carrying you in the end?" ^^;

He did his best not to look down, but the Bidoof's curiosity got the better of him. He took one peak, and instantly regretted it. The drop would be long, into the usually beautiful water below. From Blue's current perspective it looked like a refreshing way to die.

Well, it'd be a really short story if you did fall, but yeah. Hard to blame Blue for being anxious there.

He decided to pay attention to something else, like the only thing keeping the Bidoof from falling to his very messy death. Rio's Bone Rush felt like any other rope, but he could apparently change that. The move bound him tightly to Scales as he climbed down the cliff, making handholds in the rock with his strong claws as he went. He glanced up to see Pana making use of them, not far behind.

He looked to the side to see Rio, grappling down with his new bone rope trick, stomping the wall as he extended his lifeline. Blue had never seen any move used in so many ways, which made his lack of moves look even less impressive. Why they decided to put up with him, Blue had no idea.

Didn't they explicitly bring you onboard since the rest of Team Disaster just collectively sucks at finances? That seems like a good reason to put up with you, just saying.
:joltyshrug~1:


"Hey," Scales said, getting Blue's attention. "Could you stop moving. Feels weird."

"Oh, sorry," Blue said [ ]

"Did you find a way in yet?" Pana shouted over the waterfall.

I think that you cut something off from Blue's line there. I can't tell whether or not it's meant to just be a period or else if there was more to that sentence.

"Just wall," Rio shouted back. "Wait, something's different."

Rio stopped where he stood. Once, twice. The Riolu crouched, and jumped far off the cliffside, thankfully still clutching his rope bone. He swung back, and Blue took notice that his bottom paws, his feet, were now glowing light blue. The Riolu slammed back into the cliff face, and his feet exploded on contact.

Image


Rio: "Okay, more specifically, the rock exploded on contact, so don't worry. I still have my feet and toes attached right now." ^^;

Granted, it was a relatively small explosion, but it still made the surface Rio landed on give out, and he fell into a perfect hole in the cliffside, the sound of striking metal rigging out. The disguised piece of metal gave away under the Riolu, and he dropped, bone rope still trailing behind him. It went taut after a bit, stopping his fall.

-points up at the Sonic meme from the last block -

"I think I found it!" he shouted. Blue was still trying to get over the fact that his new friend just casually exploded.

"We're not supposed to break anything!" Pana shouted back. "And you're not supposed to use that move!"

"Look we needed a way in and now we got one. Are you complaining?"

Wait, what move was that anyways? The foot version of Force Palm? .-.

Pana grumbled, but said nothing further as Rio let his rope extend a bit more, descending into what he assumed was the Dungeon entrance. Scales snickered as he made his way over, making Blue suspect that this wasn't the first time he'd done something like this.

I mean, yeah. The "use that move" was kinda a dead giveaway there.

Fortunately the hole was just big enough for Scales and Blue to fit in. Blue noted the remains of a metal ladder, some bars missing and rusted, but Scales just used his claws to make holes in the comparably weak metal. Rio's rope, the one he used to climb down, disappeared after a bit. The rest of the climb went without any more explosions, much to Blue's relief.

The room they dropped into was old. The off-white floor was tiled and cracked. A large rusted door on the other side of the room seemed to lead further in. Strange black tendrils were snapped, electricity crackling at the ends. Some of the tiles were stained, or burned. Blue couldn't exactly tell. Shattered glass was sprinkled all around the floor, but Blue barely noticed that. What was really getting his attention was the rainbow sludge.

Oh, well that's certainly different. Though I suppose that's one way to tell that you've stumbled into an anthropogenic structure.

The multicolored ooze glowed and pulsed. The Bidoof's first thought was that maybe it was an Island Grimer, but they didn't live this far inland. The lack of eyes also helped disprove that suspicion. Still, the light it gave off was unsettling to say the least.

It was too bad Rio decided to crouch down and poke it.

Blue: "Rio! What are you-?!" O_O;

Thankfully, the Riolu had enough sense not to use his bare paws. He used his Bone Rush to poke at the sludge. It didn't seem to react.

"Get the hell away from that!" Pana shouted, landing last. "You don't know what it'll do!"

Image


"It has Aura?" Rio said back. "But it's not exactly alive…"

... What. .-.

Without another word Pana stomped over, grabbed Rio by one of the weird tassels hanging from his head, and pulled him back over to Blue and Scales. "OW! Hey, let go!"

"Stop for a second at least!" Pana yelled. "This shit could kill you!"

"Well I'm not dead yet!"

I mean, with the way you keep tempting fate, Rio...
:copyber:


That earned Rio a swift knock on the head. He clutched the new bruise in pain as Pana continued to speak.

"Let's keep it that way, huh?"

Rio glared at her, but said nothing in response.

Rio:
:REEolu:

Pana: "Yeah, yeah, bitch and moan at the Pokémon looking to keep us a team of four a bit more, why don't ya?" >_>;

"Um," Blue said, speaking up for the first time since they got inside. "Could you let me go now?"

The Bone Rush remained around Blue and Scales through that entire exchange, and now the Hakamo-o's scales were digging in even further. It was starting to get painful.

I... did not realize that Hakamo-o scales were pointed in this setting. Boy that must've been quite the climb down.
:copyka2:


"Shit, sorry," Rio said, quickly walking over and touching the makeshift rope. It blinked out of existence instantly, and Blue dropped unceremoniously to the floor, landing on his side. Thankfully, he managed to avoid any glass shards or rainbow goop. Scales, for his part, scratched where the Bidoof had been tied to him, seemingly unbothered by the ordeal.

Now that he was free, Blue could fully appreciate their surroundings. This was a human lab, a place where the missing species created wonders a Pokemon could only dream of. What secrets could lie in here? What could they find that Mr. Thesus couldn't? What-

"""Wonders""", since I can already tell that the rainbow goop isn't exactly healthy to go poking and prodding at.

"Blue!"

The Bidoof snapped out of his musings at Pana's yell. The rest of the team had gathered by the large, old door on the other side of the room. He wasn't sure how it was possible, but the Pancham looked more annoyed than usual. "Come on! The Dungeon's through here!"

Blue: "Wait, huh? You mean we hadn't been in the Dungeon all this time?" .-.

Blue rushed over, kicking himself for getting distracted. He wouldn't be a burden, not here! Scales had his claws on the door, and Rio had another Bone Rush ready, lighting up the dark room with a soft blue light.

"Everybody ready?" Scales asked casually. They all nodded at once as Scales shoved the doors open, letting them slam into the wall. Blue cringed at the damage, and Pana gave him a glare as Team Disaster started on their first real expedition.

Image


Especially with their track record of past missions.

The slam shook the fluid of the thing's pod, rousing it from its long sleep. The fleeing moment of consciousness faded soon after, but the abomination had one thought before falling into its slumber once more.

I'm not tired anymore…

:copyka:


Alright, yeah, that cliffhanger's good enough motivation to keep pressing on straight into…

Chapter 12

Blue had never seen a Dungeon quite like this. He doubted any of them had. A Dungeon like this, born from the remnants of a long lost species, was rare, if not unheard of! The faded white tile floor they walked on even felt old, chemical burns and all. The walls were made of cracked windows that looked upon nothing, and some of them even glowed different colors. Human creations, maybe? Had the Dungeon replicated them, taking influence from the place it formed? Were they working properly?

Okay, yeah. That confirms that canonworld in this story is explicitly postapocalyptic to some sort of human + Pokémon world.

"This is insane," Rio whispered, holding his glowing Bone Rush up to guide them. The Bidoof couldn't have said it better himself.

Huh, so Rio's Bone Club can double as a torch. Duly noted.

Rio stood at the front of the party, with Pana right behind him. Blue followed the Pancham, while Scales headed up the rear, walking down the path ahead of them. It wasn't long before they entered the first room of the Dungeon.

As soon as Rio entered, they heard a click. A second later he was gone. Pana cursed as she looked down, and Blue couldn't blame her. The warp trap was well hidden, but now that they were aware of it Blue could see the purple gem buried in the floor.

Ah yes, this mission is going smoothly already, I see.

"Where did Rio go?" Scales asked, looking back at the path.

"Warp trap," Pana grumbled, and shrugged. "Oh well, let's go."

Just how often does this happen for Pana to be this nonchalant about things? ^^;

"Huh?" Blue said, surprised at the shift in her tone. "Shouldn't we wait for him? In case he comes back?"

"He sure as hell won't do that. He'll probably keep going alone. Better chance of seeing him if we don't stop."

Y'all are really gonna make me break out the Sonic movie meme again, huh?

Blue was about to raise another point, but the Porygon hiding behind the corner decided to make his move as the Bidoof opened his mouth. The magenta Psybeam it fired nailed Pana in the back of her head.

Blue: "Pana!"
:eltyscared:

Pana: "It's alright, I'm part Dark-type so this should be-"
Image

Pana: "... Well, crap."

Blue, having done this hundreds of times on the trip, spit at the Porygon in surprise. He felt a slight tug in his stomach, and a thin stream of water flew out, splashing the offending Pokemon. The Bidoof couldn't believe it. He'd just used Water Gun!

Blue's elation was short lived as it looked like the Porygon barely noticed his attack. It started to float over, but Blue noticed something else was different. Pana was gone. He realized he had not even seen her flinch at the attack.

Oh, so she's just ludicrously overleveled relative to the rest of this dungeon, huh?

Then he saw her, appearing right behind her attacker and slamming her palm into its back. The Porygon crumpled from the super effective Arm Thrust, and Pana walked back as if nothing happened.

Yeah, I'll just take that as a confirmation there.

"Nice job!" Scales said from behind. He patted the Bidoof's back with his heavy claws, making Blue stumble a bit. He was still trying to process what just happened. "You picked that up really fast!"

"Yeah," Pana said, walking back. "It took a while for Rio and his bones."

"A-are you ok?" Blue asked her, rightfully thinking that a hit like that should have at least stung a fighting type.

"Fine?" Pana asked, eyes raised. "Why?"

Blue: "I'm sorry, but how? That was a literal headshot!" O_O;
Pana: "Look, kid, in case if you haven't been putting two and two together, everyone on this team other than you has been around the block a few times for battles." >_>;

"You just took a Psybeam to the back of the head! You're a fighting type!"

"And dark," Pana added. Blue knew something was wrong with that statement as soon as she said it.

"Pancham don't get a dark typing until they evolve, right?"

To be fair, I actually forgot about that myself for a sec thanks to Pangoro.

Pana paused. She frowned at that, and that frown turned into a snarl. If looks could kill, the glare that followed would have annihilated the Bidoof where he stood. Blue gulped and took a step back, apparently touching a sore subject. It was all he could do to stop himself from shaking. As quickly as her evident anger appeared, it vanished. Her calm demeanor was back, if not a little more sour.

"I'm weird," she whispered after a short silence. "Let's go."

Oh, so Pana really is part Dark-type. Noted then. Though I suppose that Rio's not the only mutant on Team Disaster strutting around.

She stomped forward, and disappeared into the dim Dungeon. Blue sighed in relief and sat down for a bit, glad that he wouldn't be eviscerated on the spot.

"I wouldn't bring up evolving around her," Scales said. "It's a sore spot."

Did... she evolve and it fail to go through somehow? Or else get hit by a Devolve Orb? Since it would explain why she's got the typing of a Pangoro but not the body...

Blue turned his head to see the Hakamo-o, now frowning.. It didn't last for long, as a grin crept up his face. "You did a Water Gun!"

The attempt to change the subject was obvious, but Blue didn't want to step on any more toes. He decided to do some research when they went back to town. Plus, he couldn't help but feel a small inking of pride at his accomplishment, even if it was a pitiful attempt.

"I did, didn't I? Too bad it was so weak…"

Scales: "No, no! It's really impressive that... uh... you got it together so quickly!" ^^;
Blue: "Okay, now you're just insulting me at this rate." >_>;

"It'll get better!" Scales assured. "Just gotta use it more and-"

"COME ON!" Pana shouted from across the room. Both Pokemon flinched at the anger in her voice, and they went to join her without another word.

I'm honestly surprised she didn't just come back and drag the pair off by their ears or something like that.
:loltias~1:


The involuntary teleport was nauseating to Rio. He dropped to his knees, just resisting the urge to puke his fruity breakfast onto the lab floor. He groaned and forced himself to his feet.

"Warp trap, huh?"

- Cue pindrop moment -
Rio: "Er... who just said that?"
:riohnolu:


His Aura sense told him he was alone, no ferals, no team either. Rio shrugged, and walked off into the Dungeon, now carefully watching where he stepped. The lack of ferals didn't last long, as he was soon attacked by a Trubbish, smelly sludge spewing from its mouth.

Rio, seeing a chance to test something, made a quick Bone Rush and pointed it at the feral.

Rio: "Okay, seriously? Who said that? And I know it wasn't the Trubbish since exactly zero ferals have been talking in this story so far." >_>;

Long, he thought, focusing on the staff and what he wanted to do. Before the Trubbish could even attack, the staff shot forward quickly, smashing it in the face and sending it flying down the hall. Rio retraced his bone, noting the horrid smell coating the end and letting the bone fade away.

"Nice," Rio said to himself. He grinned, and walked down the hall and past the unconscious Trubbish, twitching in its sleep.

He took out the other dungeonmon in a similar matter, thinking of it as target practice. Porygon? Staff. Voltorb? Right in the face. Magnemite? He felt a little bad for nailing it right in the eye.

Well, looks like Pana was right to not be worried about Rio since he's more or less going full One 'Mon Army on this Dungeon right now.

Rio was having fun with his new attack, but then he felt it. Something was nagging at him, pecking at the back of his head. No, that wasn't quite right. Something was pulling at him, trying to guide him to whatever it was.

As the Riolu walked on, the pull got stronger. He let it guide him for a time, not even feeling for his teammates Auras. He had to find it. There was no other option. It was his, it had to be.

Rio, don't make me break out the Bubsy macro again.

The feeling led him to a door. It was old, rusted, and had a strange blue symbol on it. Looked like a Unown with lines all through it. Rio didn't care much about it, all he knew was that it was in his way.

He tried the door handle, but it was rusted shut. Annoyed, Rio focused some of his Aura into his palm, and slammed it against the door. A small blue explosion sent the offending barrier flying off its hinges and crashing against the wall.

Cue the instant regret in 3... 2...

Normally, Rio would have at least paused at the sight of the odd machine. Its rusted metal base hummed, the bottom sprouting strange black tendrils. It stood on three metal legs, all as rusted and dirty as the base itself. The top looked to be around the same, with its rounded, dented, rusted head. Cracked glass that connected the two, and held one of the most beautiful things the Riolu had ever seen.

It looked like Blue's stone, only instead of being a whitish-gray, it was a graying black. Another symbol sat on its surface, what looked to be a toothy, smiling face. The dark glow it gave off captivated the Riolu. He had to have it. He needed it. He hungered for it.

Not sure what I'm looking at there, but that doesn't seem like a Z-Ring.
:copyka:


Rio stomped forward, Bone Rush in hand, and swung at the glass. It shattered instantly, and the stone stayed where it was. Floating. Appetizing. Calling to him. It wanted him, and he wanted it.

Without a second thought Rio snatched the stone out of the air, and felt nothing. He blinked, coming out of his trance and looked at the stone. It still radiated the dark light, but nothing stood out to him anymore. It was just a pretty rock.

Rio: "Really? After all of that and it just turns out to be a lame rock-?" >_>;

Rio scratched at his neck as he examined the thing. Why did he think it was so special? Then he looked at his wrist, noting the grooves in the side looked like they would fit his new rock. The Riolu slid the stone in, and sure enough, it fit perfectly.

He could feel the drool gathering as he looked at his new accessories, the glow coming from the stone very dim now. When the cold spit hit his bare fur, he snapped out of his latest trance.

"...Huh…" Without another word, Rio went to find his team, shoving the experience to the back of his mind. For now.

Never mind, it really is a Z-Crystal. Even if I didn't peg what the toothy smile in it was all about.

The abomination opened its eyes, seeing clearly for the first time. It was as if a fog had just lifted. What? What was fog?

What was...it? Still very groggy, it shifted what it thought was called a body through the amber sludge it was suspended in. Its three... fingers-yes that was the word-has strange bulbs on the end, and something was sticking to what it was sure was its arm. It identified its short fur as white.

Wait, what is that thing? An Ultra Beast-? Wait. Three fingers... Suspended in amber fluid... this is
:mewtwohundredIQ:
, isn't it?

It flicked what it thought was a tail, purple apparently, around, tapping the barrier that kept it imprisoned. It thought it was called glass…

How it knew these things, it had no idea.

Awake… I'm awake?

Okay, yeah, that was a really fast confirmation there. Though for the last line there, I would suggest differentiating it from the rest of the narration since it's M2’s inner thoughts.

It tried to move, and found it hard in the sludge. It tried again, and managed to twitch a finger. Progress. It tried its tail next, and it swung against the glass. It wasn't enough to break it, much to the thing's dismay. It realized it hated this tube. This, prison, it thought the word was. It wanted out.

Then he felt them, the new minds…

Oh boy, this can only lead to positive things, I'm sure.
:copyber:


Blue looked up at the door that stood in the trio's way. It was the end of the Dungeon as far as the Bidoof could tell, and the end of the path seemed clear of traps. This door was in much better shape than what they found before. It was an immaculate steel, with clear symbols on its face. It towered over the trio, and whatever laid on the other side tore any fear Blue may have had in half, his curiosity stronger.

It was too bad it was locked.

Blue: "Seriously? What is with this dungeon and all the wet towel moments?" >_>;

"Why don't I just break it down?" Scales asked for the millionth time.

"If you do that we get our badges taken away!" Pana shouted back. "Arceus!"

"And," Blue added. "We should strive to preserve these ruins. It's one of the few clues we have when it comes to humans."

Yeah, they're going to wind up blowing this place up in like a chapter. I can already tell.

Scales sighed. "Sure. Whatever. Can you make those squiggles out?"

Blue got closer, examining the symbols on the door's smooth face. It was a human language… Unovan, by the looks of it. Blue was by no means fluent, but he picked up a few words.

"Open… Stone… Danger…" was all he could make out.

Oh, so Wonder Town is located somewhere in what once upon a time was Unova, huh? I'm surprised that Blue knows how to read this, though I suppose being Thesus' pupil has its benefits.

"You can read this?" Pana asked. Blue flinched at her sudden outburst, and he turned to the Pancham, still a little freaked out by her earlier burst of rage.

"...A little," he said after a small pause. "Mr. Thesus taught me a few human languages. It was necessary to read some of the books. I just started Unovan."

Yeah, I knew it.

She grinned at that. "'Doesn't add anything to the team' my ass! That's really useful!"

"You think?" Blue asked shyly, desperately trying to hide the grin growing on his face. "It's useless for Dungeons though…"

"This disagrees!" Pana gestured at the door. "But we can talk about that later. What was that about a stone?"

Ah yes, going straight for the source of danger in this Mystery Dungeon. I suppose that's just the Team Disaster way. ^^;

Blue shook the praise from his mind, and got back to the problem at hand. "It looks like we need a stone to open it?"

"And those pictures?"

Blue was just getting to those. There seemed to be one diagram. One seemed to be what humans were described to look like, tall, lanky, bipedal. It had its arms crossed and on its forearm looked like their bracelets!

"Our bracelets!" Blue said out loud. "Maybe?"

Not sure what sort of technology would be built around Z-Rings like that, but hey. If it works, it works.

Blue quickly stood up on his hind legs, wobbling as he did his best to copy the picture. He crossed his front legs, and something happened. His stone flashed! Brightly! It was so surprising the Bidoof fell over onto the old tiled floor. He groaned as he blinked the light away.

A clawed hand shot in front of his still recovering eyes. Scales. Blue took the Hakamo'-'s hand and he helped him roll over back onto four legs. He gazed at the door, and noted absolutely nothing had changed.

Scales: "Are you sure it's nothing? Since I'm not sure if I can see anything right now."
:sevidazed:


"What was that?" Pana asked, jumping in the Bidoof's line of sight.

"I don't know!" he answered honestly. "I just tried something, and it didn't work… Maybe it's the wrong stone? A different key?"

"Key?" Scales asked. "Didn't that old grump say we could open it?"

"He said maybe," Blue corrected his new friend. "It looks like we have half a key at best..."

Good thing that Rio just found another one of those things two scenes ago, huh?

Pana groaned. "Is he gonna hold that against us? That isn't our fault at least."

"Maybe he won't?" Blue honestly wasn't sure either. This entire situation was weird, and the stakes were high. His dream would end right here if they were wrong. They couldn't risk it. They had to find the key. There was no other choice.

Narrator: "Or. You could just give up on your dream-"
Blue: "Over my dead body!"
:AngryCabot:


He was about to tell the other as much when the team suddenly completed itself. Rio, having finally found them, walked up, twirling his Bone Rush like nothing happened. Blue was ashamed to admit that in his excitement and slight nervous breakdown he had completely forgotten about the Riolu.

"You're alright!" Blue said, walking over to Rio. He grinned at the Bidoof and stopped twirling his staff.

Whelp, there's the other half of your key, gang.

"'Course I am," he said simply. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Whatever," Pana interrupted. "You're not dead. Good. did you find anything while you were gone?"

"Yeah, I-"

Rio looked at the door, and Blue watched his eyes glazed over. He lifted his arms into the cross, the new black stone clearly visible in his own bracelet. It lit up the same as Blue's did, and the Riolu didn't stop there. He put his arms forward, crouched, and threw them up in the air, doing a silent roar. A black glow flashed across the bracelet, but nothing else.

All:
:wtfuckle:

Pana: "Rio, what the hell was that?"
:uhhh:


A click echoed through the room, and the door swung open. Blue would normally be excited, but he was way too freaked out by what just happened.

"Nice dance," Scales said, patting Rio on the back. He stumbled forward, his eyes going back to normal at the contact. He looked around, then at the door.

"...Thanks," Rio said, scratching at his fluffy neck. Blue noticed the slight pause, and his subdued nature.

Did... Rio get possessed back there when he grabbed the Z-Ring thingy? Since I'm kinda getting that vibe right now.
:copyka:


"Are you ok?" Pana asked, picking up on it too.

"Fine!" Rio said, a little too fast. "Let's see what we've got!"

Rio rushed into the final room of the Dungeon before any more questions could be asked. Blue watched him go, more curious about what just happened than worried. He'd have to ask later, the door was open and its secrets were about to be laid bare.

Yeeeeeah, I don't think you should just be going and brushing that off, Blue. Just saying. ^^;

Blue ran in after Rio, and it was like nothing the Bidoof had ever seen.

The walls of the room were lined with paper. Books, loose sheets and binders filled the walls and littered the floor. By Blue's best guess this room alone had more than the entire library's collection. The few tables inside held more books, along with glassware filled with strange glowing liquids. Rio had stopped between them, staring at something in the center of the room. Blue tore his attention away from the vast reservoir of knowledge to look at what his friend was staring at, and gasped.

"What the fuck…" Was all he could say as they looked at the large cat floating in the amber goop.

Oh, hello Mewtwo. So we get to have a proper encounter with the party this chapter.

Confusion, fear, fascination.

The small brown mammal that stared at him was practically radiating these thoughts. Was that directed at it? It was almost overwhelming. The other mammal was not helping, with its utter fascination also obvious.

Mewtwo: "Are they just going to stare at me like this, or...?"

One- no, two more entered. Why couldn't it feel the other at first? It was as if the small black and white one was foggy. Did this small one carry the fog? Was it here to put it back to sleep? No, there were differences. The one the blue one carried was much closer to-

The abomination didn't even notice it at first. It was very faint, but it could feel the same energy that diminished it for so long. They were here to put it back to sleep! They wouldn't succeed.

It wouldn't let them succeed.

Image


Whelp, I suppose that would explain a thing or two about why Team Disaster started this story out so overleveled, since they're just getting thrown straight into the deep end here.

"What the hell is that?" Pana asked.

Rio was so fascinated by the sight of the thing he couldn't respond. He'd never felt an Aura like it. He realized that wasn't quite true.

He had felt something close. That Sableye gave off a similar feeling. The difference was it wasn't as overwhelming. He could actually feel the shifts. Right now it felt afraid.

That's an interesting comparison there. I wonder if it means that Mewtwo is going to Mega Evolve on them.

When Rio felt that fear turn to rage, he knew they were in for a fight.

"GET DOWN!" he screamed, summoning a Bone Rush.

They watched as the strange cat's eyes glowed a bright purple, and witnessed the glass that separated it from them explode in a violet light.

Well then. That's definitely quite the cliffhanger to end things off on.

Alright, time for the recap. I honestly didn't expect things to pick up this quick, this fast, but I suppose that we got straight into why this story is called Legends Legacy really quickly this update, and will be getting to see just how tough the gang (minus Blue) is next time. I'm honestly impressed at how much new information you managed to get in about your setting in less than 5000 words, and the way that things ramped up without feeling super contrived.

Most of my complaints basically boiled down to a couple typos and overly large paragraphs that I spotted. There were a couple of places where I felt a bit of extra description would've been nice additions, but all-in-all, these two chapters felt fairly complete in spite of their compact sizings.

Kudos @BlackHairedPsycho . I don't know if I'll be able to squeeze in another review of this story during Review Blitz, but it's on the radar, especially since with an ending note like that, it's more or less screaming "come back and see what happens", and I'm all there for it. ^^
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. lugia
  5. quilava-fobbie
  6. sneasel-kate
  7. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, firing this up for what'll probably be my last review of Review Blitz this year with one last double-feature of this story before timer ticks to zero. So let's jump right in where we left off with Team Disaster's cat problems in…

Chapter 13

Though that title is already a great omen for where things are going to go, really.
:copyber:


Rio jumped back, swinging his staff as he did. He managed to block most of the glass rocketing towards him, but some still made it through his improvised defense. What got through grazed his skin, but one small piece logged itself in his thigh. The Riolu grimaced as he fell back.

Rio: "Ow! Gods!"
:PainedCabot:

Blue: "Yeah, I get the feeling that I'm going to die painfully and horribly in about 5 seconds from now."
:uhhh:


The adrenaline dulled the pain as he got a better look at his new enemy. It floated towards him, towering over even Scales. Its white fur was still wet from the nap it seemed to be taking, and its purple tail flicked what goop remained on it off. Its eyes burned with purple light, its anger pulsing off of it in waves. The Riolu had never felt such an engaged Aura.

Rio pointed his Bone Rush at the towering figure, focusing on the staff for a bit.

Rio: "Tch, so much for diplomacy."
Blue: "Wait, what? But we didn't even try-!"
:grohno~2:


Long, he thought, and the bone responded. It quickly extended, spearing the cat in its purple stomach and sending it flying back. Before it hit the ground it started to float again, its glare and Aura even more angry.

It sure is a good thing that Pana is outright part-Dark in this story, otherwise I'm pretty sure that Team Disaster would be very, very dead in about a minute after this.
:fearfullaugh~1:


A second later his staff flew out of his paw and towards his opponent. It floated in front of the towering figure for a moment, and was tossed away with a flick of its thoughts. In response, Rio made another one, which was taken just as quickly.

Rio:
Image

Scales: "Uh... yeah, I think that now would probably be a good time to run."
:eltyscared:

Blue: "Gee, you think?!" >_>;

Then he saw Pana appear, sensing an opportunity. The creature did too, but it was too late as her flying Sucker Punch smashed it in the face. The thing stumbled, black blood coming from the slits Rio assumed was its nose.


Oh, so
:mewtwo_think:
bleeds black in this setting. Good to know.

He watched as his sister started glowing purple and was lifted into the air. It didn't hold her for long, as the light seemed to seep into her. She landed on her feet, now glaring at the apparent psychic. The creatures glowing eyes widened as Pana leapt to attack. Rio felt one of the tables fly over his head and zip towards the two.

Pana crashed into the floating piece of furniture, smashing it to pieces. Rio cracked the ground as he leapt at the cat, but unexpectedly crashed into what felt like a brick wall. He finally noticed the transparent Barrier the thing put up. Soon he was glowing, and thrown backwards into a wall, slightly cushioned by the books that remained.


Huh, Pana's certainly got some punch if she can just casually do that to a table that's flung at her.

He slid down the wall slowly, vision blurry, but still awake. He summoned another Bone Rush and shot it at the thing once again. It dinged off the Barrier and the abomination didn't even bother to rip it out of his hands that time. Just as Rio hoped.

He focused on the staff, and did his easiest alteration yet.

Burst.

The Bone Rush flashed once, and exploded.

>doing this in an ancient labratory with god-knows-what lying around

Image


The sudden boom roused Blue from his involuntary sleep. He felt himself bleeding, but couldn't see anything. And something reeked! It smelled like day old berry juice and dirt. And what was that jingling?

Scales?

"You up?" he heard the dragon ask. He felt something touch his paw, a berry by the looks of it. He maneuvered it the best he could, eventually managing to pop it in his mouth. The sweet juices of the Oran berry immediately made him feel better as the Hakamo-o let him go. When he saw what was left of the lab he wanted to cry.


Blue: "Oh my gods. What did you three even do?!"
:uhhh:


The books were in total disarray, some completely destroyed in the battle taking place. Some shredded, some some torn in half, and some were blown to bits, along with a part of the wall and floor. Rio crouched, standing in front of a scorch mark and bits of fluttering paper, glaring at the creature he just blew up. The transparent bubble that separated the two was severely cracked, but it wasn't even looking at him.

Pana was its primary concern, pelting her with debris, vials of goop and enough knowledge to put several teachers out of business. It was all the Pancham could do to dodge each object. Rio had stood up now, glaring at the monster.


Yeeeeeah, have fun with explaining that one to Thesus, kids.

The Bidoof watched as Scales ran at the creature, claws glowing purple. He slashed at the barrier, cracking it even further. The abomination glared at him, and suddenly he was floating. He had never seen anyone use Psychic before, so this was mesmerizing.


Scales: "... Uh oh."
:ohnowen:


With its focus changing the debris that was keeping Pana away dropped. She didn't waste time, becoming a black blur as she crashed into the cracked Barrier once again. It splintered further, but still held.

Rio rushed in, jumped off Scales's head, and slammed his glowing palm into the creature's protected face. His palm erupted into a blue explosion, finally shattering the barrier. Blue was stunned. He didn't even have time to react. Could he even help?


No... you should probably be focusing on trying to salvage what remains of the lab and its materials, just saying, Blue. ^^;

The strange Pokemon raised both of its hands in the air, and another Barrier quickly solidified around it, this one smaller. The rest of his team wasted no time in attacking the new forcefield.

Then the abomination pushed his arms out, and the Barrier followed. It expanded, slamming into its attackers and sending them flying back. Rio landed right next to Blue, making him jump. He groaned in pain, but was still awake. Thank Arceus.


Blue: "Okay, yeah. Maybe it's about time that we started cutting and running."
:LiamDed:


The creature turned its attention back to Pana, slinging more of the most educational debris on the planet at her. Pana was able to keep dodging, but she had notably slowed down. Scales didn't seem as hurt as he flung himself back at the creature, burying his glowing claws in the Barrier and making small cracks. It didn't even look at him, completely focused on the Pancham. She needed help.


Blue: "Um... we did remember to bring an Escape Orb, right? Otherwise I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do here."
:fearfullaugh~1:


Blue felt another tug at his stomach, and water gathering in his cheeks. Not expecting to do much damage, but hoping for a distraction he fired his Water Gun at the mutant. Compared to his previous attempt this was a cannon shot, the half-foot wide stream of water barreled at the monster, slipping past its barrier and slamming into its chest. The Bidoof had no time to contemplate how he did that, or why it had slipped past the forcefield, because it looked like the creature barely felt it. He did succeed in getting its attention, at least for a bit.

Without warning the Bidoof was lifted into the air, flipped over, and slammed down. His vision went white for a bit, but when it cleared enough for him to see Rio standing in front of him, clutching something. The cold embrace of unconsciousness followed.

Blue: "Yeah, I knew I should've gone for the Escape Orb." X_X

Rio wasn't sure why he grabbed Blue's treasure. When it landed next to him, he just snatched it. The Riolu stared at the creature that had attacked him, his friends, his family, and seemed to be doing its best to kill them. Pana was slowing down, Scales wasn't making any progress, and Blue had just done his best.

He glanced down at the stone he clutched, wondering what to do. The Barrier was the issue, and getting through that would take too long. It could just remake it after too, and they'd be back to square one.


Well, the rational thing to do would be to cut and run, but that's boring and I'm pretty sure that this is headed towards doing some sort of Z-Move, so let's let things ride.

He realized they needed one attack, one strong enough to break the bubble and the psychic all at once.


Yeah, feeling pretty good about that prediction there.

As that thought crossed his mind, his body acted on its own. The Riolu inserted Blue's stone into his own bracelet without even realizing what he was doing, still watching the battle taking place. He was so lost in the fight he didn't even notice as he crossed his arms and his borrowed stone lit up.

Power flowed through Rio as his entire body flashed with a bright light. It was all so clear to him all of a sudden. All he had to do was put his arms down, thrust them forward, drag them down to the floor, put one back up, then cross his lower arm over his stomach and his higher over his forehead and-


Aaaaand there it is.

The power exploded within Rio, and the light coming off of him brightened even further. He had never felt so full of energy. It felt like he could run for miles!

So he did.

Wait, so he literally just runs out of the dungeon with his friends right now? ^^;

The creature turned his attention back to the Riolu just as he charged at it. There was no time to prepare as the blue and black blur barreled into his enemies Barrier, obliterating what was left of it and slamming into its creator. He felt something break in the monster's body as he barreled into it.

The wall behind them crumbled under the force of the super tackle, barreling through the layers of books, rock and metal that stood in Rio's way. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He could only hear the crumbling rocks, and the creatures groans of agony as he went.

Image


Then, the resistance just stopped. Rio felt the boundless energy leave him as he plummeted. He just managed to glimpse the blue sky as he and his opponent fell into the lake below.

The cold shock of falling into the lake made the Riolu let go of his hopefully beaten opponent. He turned his head towards it, only to see it shoot out of the lake and into the sky, its Aura scared once again. Rio couldn't call that a win, but it wasn't a loss either.

That was his last thought as that boundless energy left him, and he fell unconscious.


Ah yes, just casually unleashing Mewtwo onto the surrounding world. I can see why this chapter has the title that it does.
:copyka:


Though that's definitely quite impressive for a powerup from a Z-Crystal, even if that's way, way beyond what I recall them doing in the mainline games.

And moving right along into…

Chapter 14

Blue woke up from his second forced nap slower than his first. The Bidoof rolled over on his side, and opened his bleary eyes.

The sight would have made him cry if he didn't have such a headache.

Blue: "... Ow."
:riplup:


The room was completely destroyed. The books, the notes, everything was scattered and shredded, obliterated by the intense battle that took place. Even the counters and all the chemicals they held had cracked open and spilled onto what was left of one of the best preserved human ruins to date.

Blue: "Thesus is going to kill me when he finds out about this."
:grohno~2:

Scales: "We could just... not tell him that there used to be a bunch of human relics here?" ^^;

The biggest thing was the giant hole in the back wall. The crumbling stone and metal that was once a wall pained the Bidoof to look at. It took up most of the middle, far above his or Rio's height.

That raised another question. Where was Rio? In fact, where was anyone? The room was devoid of life. Blue took a step forward, and almost tripped over the small craters in the floor. They looked a lot like footprints.

Blue: "Um. Rio? Are you up there somewhere?"

Blue walked into the hole in the wall, very cautious about meeting what caused it. After a little walking he heard his teammates' voices.

"Shit!" he heard Scales yell.

"That idiot!" Pana shouted. He could see them now, overlooking the other side of the hole. The sky was visible, and the cold wind pelted at his face. He walked up to them, still woozy.

Scales and Pana really just left Blue behind unconscious in a ruined lab in the middle of a Mystery Dungeon, huh?
:copyber:


"What happened?" He asked his teammates. They turned to him, surprise and relief obvious on their faces.

"Least you're alright…" Pana said. Scales looked surprised to see him. His usual calm face was gone, replaced by a small grimace.

"Rio," was all he said. Blue walked closer to the edge, only to see the lake far below. He could see Rio there. Alone, no strange Pokemon around. His eyes were closed, and he was sinking fast.

Blue: "Ooookay, yeah. That would be a problem."
:uhhh:


Blue didn't ask why they hadn't gone to help him. He didn't think about how far down the water was to guess his chance of surviving a jump from this height. He didn't even think about his still throbbing head.

The Bidoof just jumped into the lake below.

Wew, somebody's learning well from his new teammates, I see. >:V

The shock of the cold water hit him, but his species was built for rivers and lakes. This was nothing. If his head wasn't killing him, Blue might have even said it was easy.

I mean, at least it probably wasn't that high if he didn't die from the jump? ^^;

The Riolu stood out, then again slowly descending in the middle of a lake would make anyone obvious. Blue bit down on Rio's arm, letting some of his air escape, and started to swim back up. He wished he thought to take a breath before diving in!

Yup, Blue's definitely fitting in with the rest of Team Disaster, alright.
:lultias:


The dizzy Bidoof breached the surface soon enough, the Riolu with him. Blue's now very unfocused thoughts turned to why Rio was so fluffy. Hair was coming off in his mouth! The fact that he was losing consciousness again probably wasn't helping.

He managed to get them to shore, the soft grass felt great to lie down on.

So he did. The bliss of sleep followed.

Blue: "I swear to gods, if this winds up with us waking up awkwardly rolled over onto each other..." @.@

The crackling of fire wormed its way into Blue's dreamless sleep. His eyes blinked open, taking in the warm fire. He groaned, sitting up and feeling the headache that still plagued him. The chilly afternoon at least felt cool, and the slight splashing of the lake behind them sounded nice.

"M-morning..." he heard a voice say beside him. He turned to see Rio, now mostly dry and shivering in the cool air. He sat close to the fire, trying desperately to warm himself. He sniffed deeply.

"...It's almost night..." was all the Bidoof could say.

Blue: "Also, how on earth are we still alive right now?" .-.
Rio: "Dunno. Never really questioned it, really." ^^;

"How do you know?" Rio asked. "You've been asleep."

Blue stared at the Riolu in disbelief. "I've been out for a day?"

Rio laughed, then coughed. "Kidding! It's been like an hour."

Blue sighed in relief. "Please don't do that."

inb4 Rio wasn't lying about him being out for a day but trying to make Blue feel better.

"No promises." There was a brief silence before Rio spoke again. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"You kinda saved my life."

Blue: "... Wait, how on earth were you even cognizant of that when you were passed ou-" Rio: "Pana and Scales, remember? I did wake up again before you."
Blue: "Right. That'd make sense..."

Blue suddenly remembered what happened in full. He had dove in, huh? He looked back at the waterfall, noting the large hole in its cliff face. It was about halfway down, making Blue's jump all the more reckless. The Bidoof wouldn't have believed it if he didn't remember doing it.

He didn't regret it though.

"...You're welcome," he said. "Where did everyone else go?"

Blue: "Since wouldn't someone have had to tell you about what happened earlier?" .-.

"Pana dragged Scales back to see if they could salvage anything," Rio started.

Blue groaned at the reminder of so much lost information. Those books could have contained anything! Information on human society, their advancements, maybe something that would have cleared the relationship between them and Pokemon! But those were probably all gone, along with whatever made that hole...

Rio: "Heh heh... yeah, whatever made that hole indeed."
:fearfullaugh~1:

Blue: "Oh, so it was you. But how?"
:mewtwofacepalm:


"Wait," Blue said, now thinking again. "What made that hole?"

Rio raised his right paw, the one with the stone bracelet around it. "Sorry."

Time to have Blue's freakout reaction in 3... 2...

Blue stared at Rio in disbelief, and Rio shrugged. "I don't know what else to say. Got caught up in the fight, tried something, and put a hole through that Dungeon."

"What?" Blue asked, incredulous. "Alone? How?"

Blue: "How are you not dea-?" .-.

Rio: "Look, we've already done that meme once already in this review. But if I had an answer for you, I'd give it to you." ^^;

Rio popped one of the stones out of his bracelet, and held it out to Blue. It was his stone. His treasure!

"Borrowed this," Rio said. "Popped out after you went down."

Blue quickly snatched it out of the Riolu's paw. He never wanted to lose it again. He vowed to never let it out of his sight. As he calmed down, he processed what his new friend had just said.

Narrator: "He will absolutely lose his treasure again sometime in the future."

"Wait, THIS-" Blue said, dropping the stone in front of him. "did THAT?" The Bidoof looked towards the collateral damage Rio had allegedly caused with his treasure.

"No," Rio said. "I did that. That thing helped."

[ ]

"...How?"

Rio:
Image


Though I kinda wonder if this moment would be a bit lulzier to show Blue's horrified / dumbfounded face a bit more in response to Rio.

"...Not sure. I just did a thing, felt real good, and then I tackled a large cat through a wall."

[ ]

"THAT WAS A TACKLE?"

"No. I think it was Headbutt? I think I tried to use Headbutt."

Same here, really. Since I gather that Blue is very
:wtfuckle:
right now, but it's a bit light on describing that actually play out.

Blue stared down at his stone, in disbelief. What the hell was this thing exactly? Why did Dad of all people have it? How exactly had Rio done this?

Could he learn to do it too?

Well that'd definitely be a way to catch up with the rest of the gang in strength, huh? I suppose that's the reason why Blue starts out in the party with the Z-Crystal and Z-Ring.

He decided these were questions for later. There was one thing still bothering him more than anything.

"What the hell was that thing?" Rio asked for him.

"I don't know," Blue answered. "I don't know if anyone knows. Those books probably could have told us..."

"...Sorry."

Rio: "Look, in our defense, we were trying our hardest to not die there, so... yeah, it couldn't really be helped?"
:fearfullaugh~1:


Rio looked away, sniffing. Blue winced. Had he said something wrong?

"Then again, whatever you did probably saved our lives," the Bidoof continued as Rio rocked his head back and took a deep breath.. "Can't really find out if we're dead, ri-"

"AAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!" Rio sneezed. His entire body flashed a light blue, and exploded. The small boom made Blue jump back as the ground around Rio blew away with the fire he was sitting near. Blue stared at the Riolu, shocked.

Rio: "I'm okay! I'm alright!"
:sevidazed:

Blue: "Rio, what on earth was that?"
:wtfuckle:


"Ah, dammit," was all Rio said as he stared at the fire.

[ ]

"Did-did you just explode?" Blue asked.

"Hm? Oh yeah, that happens sometimes."

[ ]

"...Why?"

"Never got a straight answer for that. Masters said I lack control."

Some more spots where some more reactions or internal thoughts would probably strengthen this moment a bit. Though I see that it's not just Rio's feet that blow stuff up in this story.

"So what were you doing in that fight?"

"Smaller scale of that. They didn't like it when I used that either."

"Ok, but-"

Blue's next question was interrupted by Pana's arrival. She was just there suddenly, holding the bag and a few surviving books. She looked at Rio, then at what remained of the fire. The Pancham groaned as she put the stuff down.

I mean, they at least managed to recover some things to bring back to Thesus?
:joltyshrug~1:


"Please don't tell me you're sneezing," she said.

"Ok," Rio said back. "You might be in for a surprise later."

Pana sighed, handing her haul to Blue. "All the books we could salvage. Scales is hauling some bigger stuff back right now."

Pana: "If Thesus asks, we tell him that the rest of the books already rotted out when we got there, got it?"
:PanaDisdain:

Blue: "Yeah, you don't need to say that twice." O_O;

Blue took one and opened it. The paper was old, but the writing was still legible. Still, he couldn't quite make it out. It was the same language as the door, Unovan. He couldn't make out much, but the word "Danger" appeared more than once. It was something.

Oh that's not ominous at all, there.

"Think this'll make that grump happy?" Pana asked Blue. "We still in trouble?"

"The books are legible at least..." Blue started, flipping through another one. "Still can't read most of it. We'll have to wait and see."

I mean, that depends on how honest you all are or not about what used to be in the lab before y'all destroyed it. ^^;

"And how mad will he be about Rio's little accident?"

The reminder made Blue groan. So much had been lost. If Blue was this sad about it, Mr. Thesus would be...

Well, angry would have fallen short of describing it. Livid would have been closer, but incomprehensibly furious was the best bet.

Pana: "Which again, is all the more reason why we shouldn't tell him about everything that used to be there." >_>;
Blue: "No, no. I agreed with you earlier!" O_O;

"We should avoid bringing it up," was all Blue had to say.

"Good plan," Pana responded. "...Thanks."

"It's the only thing I can contribute so-"

"Not that. Well, thanks for that too, but not what I meant."

:hoodLUL:


Though yeah, I just knew that they were going to go that route.

Blue turned to her, and saw her usually stiff frown soften a bit. "You saved Rio's life. Scales sucks at swimming, and I didn't have any strength left after that fight. Thank you."

I mean, it helps that Blue's literally a beaver, so...

Blue was surprised at being acknowledged, thanked even, twice in a few minutes! It was strange, but nice. Even if it was coming from a group of walking disasters. He gave Pana a slight smile.

"Anytime."

"But please be more careful next time. We don't need another Rio."

Oh, you're one to talk there, Pana. >:V

"The hell is that-" Rio started, before being interrupted by another explosive sneeze. "supposed to mean?"

Pana's frown returned as she glared at the Riolu and pointed at the large hole once again. "We don't need another reckless idiot."

"This 'reckless idiot' saved your ass from a giant cat!"

"And almost got himself killed in the process. Again."

Blue: "So... uh... how often does this all happen with you, anyways?"
:fearfullaugh~1:

Pana: "Trust me, you don't want to know."
:gardexhausted:


They bickered like that for a while, and Blue couldn't help but smile a little wider. They were so different from his own family, from anyone he'd ever known.

And he'd never felt more comfortable.

Ah yes, so Blue really is fitting right in with the walking disaster zone of a team.
:loltias~1:


Scales got back a little later, dragging something metal with him. He told the team it looked important, but it was just too rusted and broken to find any use. Still, they decided it was better to take it. Someone might know more.

They took the rest of the night off, making camp by the lakeside. Rio fell asleep right by the newly made fire to dry out more. Pana slept by him in case another one of his explosive sneezes put it out.

I can already tell that Pana was very tired and crabby the following morning.

He and Scales talked about his use of Water Gun, and when Blue tried it again he got the same result he did when he used it in the Dungeon. It got stronger all of a sudden.

"That's great!" the dragon exclaimed. "Why are you so hung up on it?"

"I don't know how it happened," Blue answered honestly. "I just want to understand."

"I don't know. Maybe something just clicked?"

Maybe, but considering the track record for the rest of everyone on the team, it could just as easily be that some mysterious unnatural force gave Blue a boost there.

"Maybe..." That answer didn't satisfy Blue much, but it was something. They both went to sleep after that. The Bidoof was already used to Scales's loud snores from their trek over.

<><><>

Their trip back was thankfully uneventful. No mutants, no bandits, and Rio's sneeze explosions were small. They talked about the stones as they walked, but nothing much came from it. Rio tried to use the other one he found, but beside a bright flash at the beginning, nothing happened. He offered to do it with Blue's stone, but Pana shouted him down.

"WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER GIANT HOLE!"

I kinda wonder if the timeskip ahead is enough that this scene should be cut into two. Might just be me, though.

Still, Blue wanted to try it. But later. When his best chance of figuring out what exactly happened wasn't constantly exploding.

It was nice to get back into the city after so long. The market was just as busy as ever. The snips of conversation the Bidoof caught were mostly gibberish, but it was a distraction from Rio's, now calmer, sneezes.

"So I punched him."

"That Alakazam sold me a shoddy orb! It was already cracked!"

"Did you hear about the waterfall?"

"And he didn't use protection, so now-"

Wait what was that third one?

>dat fourth line of dialogue

Ah yes, putting that FFN T rating to use there, I see. >:V

"Yeah, front page on the newspaper, right?"

Blue turned to his team. Rio seemed distracted, and Scales was being Scales, but Pana caught the same thing he did. Spotting a stand selling newspapers, Pana quickly walked over and snatched one without paying. The dosing Delibird didn't even notice the blatant theft. Blue was about to at least ask her to pay when she started reading out loud.

"'Giant Hole in Waterfall Cliffside has Guild Stumped! Days ago, Team Keymasters of the Wanderers guild discovered a massive hole in the falls a few days downstream. While unsure of what caused it, the guild had an anonymous tip that another team belonging to the guild went to the area, a Team Disaster. There was a Dungeon in the area, and nothing has been heard of the team in question since.'"

Rio:
Image


Blue was stunned. They had made front page news without even reporting anything! This was great! Pana seemed less pleased. In fact, when he looked back at Rio and Scales, they both looked nervous. This is what bothers them? After everything?

"Are you guys alright?" Blue asked.

"Fine, fine," Pana said waving the question off. "How far do you think this spread already?"

"Well, it was published today, so probably not farther than the town."

I like how Blue and the rest of his teammates have completely opposite reactions to finding out that they made the local news right now. Wonder how long it'll take before Blue similar finds himself dreading hearing about how they became locally famous for the umpteenth time.
:loltias~1:


Pana sighed in relief. "Good, good. Well, let's drop these off!"

"Wait, why is it good?"

"It probably doesn't matter to you," Rio coughed. "We might get a surprise visit soon. You'll probably be fine."

Narrator: "He will absolutely not be fine."

For once, Blue wasn't sure he wanted to know. He dropped it for now, and went to see his mentor and finally complete this request.

Oh don't worry, Blue. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.
:copyka:

Alright, made it to the end. I'll admit, I wasn't expecting the resolution to the fight in Chapter 13 or Rio's literally explosive sneezing in Chapter 14, but I think that these chapters worked pretty well, especially for a zanier story that doesn't take itself too seriously. I take it that this is basically the end of the arc of Team Disaster doing their dungeon run for Thesus, with a few seeds of potential problems such as unwanted notoriety and potentially attracting the attention of the Masters planted for the future.

I don't have a whole lot to complain about these two chapters, other than that there were a couple parts where I thought that the story could've afforded to slow down a bit more and be a bit more generous with description, especially to the end of getting in some lulzier narration. But even what's there works decently well, including much to my surprise in Chapter 13, where in spite of it being noticeably shorter than Chapter 14, it felt decently complete as it already was.

Hope the feedback was fun for you to take in @BlackHairedPsycho . This is probably a wrap for me and Review Blitz this year, but I hope to come back to this story again sometime soon. ^^
 
Top Bottom