Spiteful Murkrow
Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
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Heya, there was a bumper crop of reviews from Review Blitz this year, so it took a little bit to get through everybody. But let’s just get started and work our way down through things.
@windskull
Sometimes, just getting away to fight another day is winning enough. It’s a bit more common as a win condition in my other long-running PMD story, but the gang should really just take the W considering how brutal Kecleon encounters are in the actual games. ^^;
What can I say? It’s a talent of his.
I mean, Virgil and I are pretty firmly insistent that there are few things in this story that are truly superfluous. This was another example of the dynamic in action.
You’ll get a reminder of that in due time.
I suppose we can see the argument for having split things up, but I think we’ll opt to let things stand as they are here. In general, we tend to prefer chapters that feel like a “complete” whole for this story, even if it might make them a bit chunky to some.
Probably. Maybe. Lyn is a bit of a mercurial character, so I’m sure Ken and Hooke would’ve still been in for a miserable experience had they come clean.
Hrm, a bit unfortunate to hear, even if we’d like to think that our current battle choreography’s gotten a bit smoother in more recent episodes since we’ve dialed back the epithets considerably as time went on.
Well, it certainly works out for Hess, at least. ^^;
Nida: “You know what? I can live with luck, really.”
Lyn: “My primary fighting implements are swords. Did you honestly expect me not to stab a ‘mon or two here or there who can’t get out of my way?” >_>;
I mean, it helps when they have the likes of [cabotstarry] are in their ranks. I mean, I suppose that the Company has Salvini and Kellner? Though the average member of Company leadership is a bit harder-edged than their Imperial counterpart.
Yeah, there are certainly limits to how much you can push the envelope as a subordinate. Not that Ketu isn’t creative at testing them.
Yeah, that whole exchange was a big character-establishing moment for Aleria there. Glad to hear that you found it fun to read.
I mean, what’s an Ace Attorney homage without a seemingly hopeless case thrown into your lap?
Vulpix: “B-But I’m normal back on my home island!”
More seriously, glad to hear that you enjoyed things getting shaken up here. The second quarter of the fic can be a bit divisive in how it’s received thanks to things coming off as too formulaic, but this episode and the one before were the ones where that went straight out the window in favor of something new.
Looks like we hit the mark there, then.
We went and fixed the typo that you referred to, though glad to hear that you had fun with these chapters. We’ll be looking forward to you continuing your second journey through this story sometime soon.
@Nekodatta
Such is life with childlike naivete and Virgil and I had a few giggles coming up with some of the fine details of that sequence.
If you extended the question to Pokémon not on Tromba, probably “really fast” :V
Elty: “Well excuse me for not being excited to be signed up for forced labor here.”
I mean, is that really all that surprising given that the fandom stance on TMs is basically?:
I mean, the preamble did openly state that this was a world that once had humans in it. Even if I suppose this was the part where we tipped our hat as to what sort of world with humans in it it was.
Something something “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” something something.
I actually don’t remember whether or not that was a deliberate reference or not, but it wouldn’t be the first fluff detail from a non-English localization we worked in in this story.
This actually got elaborated on a bit later on in the story, especially when Ander got a more front and center introduction.
I would hazard a guess that there’s a nonzero chance that it’s not that far removed from Pokékibble’s composition back in the day, even if you get to see a better view of some of the inputs later on in this story.
I’ll admit, we actually had Digimon Tamers more in mind for this fog, but the rest is basically on the mark.
Makes you wonder what else managed to make it over from the world-that-was, huh?
I mean, he’s gotta start from somewhere after coming to their island helping to nick things and set stuff on fire.
I mean “taxes” become taxes when you have enough power to back it up and throw on a veneer of legitimacy.
I mean, on a more serious crew, it’d be more serious. But fortunately for Elty, he’s not from one.
Well, the stairs can. Ditto doing antics with stuff like Tunnel Wands. Too much moving around on the floors while you’re there is usually a sign of bigger problems, though.
Well, he could blow Hess across Bluewhorl again, but it might be hard to pull that one off right then and there. /s
This will be answered in due time in this story.
They’re leaning more towards the former of those two options, since nobody really knows what the consequences of killing them would be other than that the last time it definitely happened, it was really bad.
And we’ll be looking forward to seeing you come back again sometime soon. Thanks for the review! ^^
@Kiba Makuro
Yeah, it’s a bit of a coincidence, but someone would’ve entered that chamber eventually and there’s a reason why the fic follows Nida’s perspective.
Yeah, just showing off “this is how a PMD setting would work” is a pretty big part of Fledglings’ raison d’etre. I mean, it’s a bit off-spec given that it’s like 98% water as a setting, but good enough.
Hrm, I’ll admit that I didn’t really expect to hear that for these chapters, and it’s the first time I’ve heard someone say this about them, but I suppose everyone has their preferred flavors for prose.
Yeeeeeeah, that was a thing earlier on in this story. If you highlight specific spots, we’ll consider touching a few parts up, otherwise this is something where we’ll opt to leave things be to continue on to make progress.
Sounds like you had quite a bit of fun with that tail end, though don’t worry, you’ll be getting a better view of Bluewhorl and its surroundings in the upcoming episode from where you’re at.
And thanks again for the review! We’ll be looking forward to seeing you around in the future! ^^
@StolenMadWolf
Pataki: “No, no, this is a great way to leave things off.”
Hold onto that thought about ‘more jobs’ there.
Those would be Apricorns there. They’re not quite Pokéballs, even if they’re depicted as having similar properties in this setting (and in OaT since you’ve read it) with a few more nasty side effects.
Yeah, this is a thread that will be revisited a few times during the events of this story. So keep an eye out there.
Yeah, it’s a bit of a balancing act there, though it sounds like things worked out on balance for you? If there are specific spots that came to mind that you felt were lacking one or another thing, feel free to point them out to us next time.
>exit stage left
Once upon a time, this was the part where he was going to exit stage left from the story until close to the end, but that wound up changing. You’ll see what that looks like as you get further along.
Hrm, a bit unfortunate that that moment didn’t stick the landing for you. Though the official answer to not getting spotted is “he was fast and under deck in a dimly-lit ship”. We might drop in a couple blurbs to make the “dimly-lit” part a bit more obvious.
I mean, if things went for too long, there wouldn’t have been much of a ship left there. ^^;
Though hold onto those thoughts, since Pleo is very much still a beginner at wielding that power that lurks inside him. The fastest way to get better at something is to do it a few times.
Narrator: “The story is going to focus on Nida, Elty, and Pleo working to try and find their way back home”.
Well, mostly. This wouldn’t be a 1.2 million word and counting story if there weren’t a hitch or two along the way.
I think that the chapter length recommendation is something that we’re ultimately just going to have to call “differences of stylistic preferences” on them, since the overall average length of a chapter later in this story is around 10,000 words. Though even if it wasn’t quite your preference, we’re glad to hear that you still enjoyed yourself quite a bit, and we’ll be looking forward to seeing you around in the future. ^^
@Venia Silente
Elty: “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? Who on earth could possibly challenge me for-?”
Elty: “... Seriously? You’re calling him best doggo?”
(More seriously, this was hilarious.)
Hess:
(Also, that sequence you wrote made me snerk.)
Just don’t let them find out that you mean the anime trio, since I’m sure they’ll be less than thrilled.
What can I say? He knows how his underlings tick. :P
Just like real life! /s
(Also, the bit about Alvise and his buddies fuming about their plot role is gold.)
Such is life when you’re literally jumping aboard the first pirate ship that’ll let you into their crew. o<o
That’s… surprisingly accurate, yes.
Shhh… don’t give Alvise ideas there.
Well, they’d have managed to start a fire at least? Even if it’d have been a bit too early.
Elty: “Well, apparently it’s not. (Seriously, who okayed this?)”
Alvise: “I think you misspelled ‘awesome’ there.”
Yup, that was actually a very deliberate meta decision to not have Guardia around for this fight. This is just the hardest that Alvise and his friend circle are to deal with in the story, and we figured that we’d make the most of it.
Alvise: “As it should be.”
Kiran: “I-I demand to speak with my agent!” @v@
I think that Pleo has a biiiit of his work cut out for him there, just saying. Even if in the longer term, he could absolutely brute force most encounters. ^^;
And you just know he’s never ever going to shut up about it in the equivalent of bar stories.
The desperate B-Buttoning in between just sells this moment.
Yup! It won’t be the last such moment in the story, but we figured that we’d been keeping the audience waiting for long enough to see the cast start evolving.
>that cutaway
Hilariously enough, that’s more or less the explicit logic we used for this sequence.
That Elty commentary made me giggle there.
Valatos: “Wait, what? I refuse to believe that this is the end of our appearances. Get my agent on the line!”
Alvise et al:
This is actually the last that we’ll see of these three… in Fledglings.
No promises on anything outside of that. :V
Elty: “Alright, that’s what I’m talking about!”
Elty: “Go away, you! You’re not even in this scene right now!”
Kiran: “(Not that you’ve been making this any easier for us.)” >_>;
Valter: “Why are you bragging about an effectiveness record that low?” -;
Kline: “I could see all of that happening, you know!” >;
I’m dying with these shipping gags you’ve got going on.
I mean, Elty does have the form that can quite conveniently become a mount, so…
Alvise: “I thought that I was best doggo-”
Elty: “Oi, go back to being passed out in the village!”
Lmao. You sure know your way to building up to a punchline there.
I think he needs to work on his attitude a bit before he starts worrying about being a priest of any sort. :P
Iron Fleet:
Elty: “Wait, but isn’t that a character from another-”
Hess: “Don’t have an emote of my own yet to do it in person. Give it a couple months.”
I now have some riff of Oprah going “and you get a Protector, and you get a Protector” stuck in my mind now. I blame you for that. ^^;
Pleo: “... Or we could not visit her house again anytime soon, that works, too.”
That pun is horrible, you know that?
Elty: “Hey! I have plenty of good ideas!”
Kichiro: “Urgh… gods, I hate 4x weaknesses.” X.X
Hess: “... Ow.”
Oh, so that’s why Valter has been keeping everyone they catch here on the island.
Elty: “Good thing we’re not running into them again anytime soon. Right? Right…?”
With some parting
as salt in the wound, but we’ll let Review!Alvise and the gang have a bit of a break here.
Kline: “For the record, I literally had nothing to do with that one. Mostly.”
Oh don’t worry, that doggo doesn’t exactly get many breaks himself. Since I know what his employers are like. >:V
Bunsen: “G-Gih! She’s not supposed to be able to do this in the script!”
Elty: “Best doggo, but I’ll take it!”
Ketu: “Cool story, bro. I’m here to crash your review anyways.”
Ketu: “Oh, I’m sure he’ll try there…”
One of the terms for a male otter in English is a ‘dog’, so in a way, we do still have a scene with a dogg-
Lyn:
Sometime around when we start writing stuff outside the main plot again.
Though thanks for the two-parter review. It was a lot of fun and really brightened my and Virgil’s day to read. ^^
And since I don't feel like axing a bunch of images, just moving the rest into its own post:
@windskull
It does, unfortunately, make sense that prices would be higher in dungeon shops. They’re certainly not as safe as selling your goods in town, but there’s a need for it. Capitalism at its finest /j. Good on Guardia for figuring out the way keckleon’s ability works. It just barely gave them the edge they needed to get away, though I’d hardly call it a victory.
Sometimes, just getting away to fight another day is winning enough. It’s a bit more common as a win condition in my other long-running PMD story, but the gang should really just take the W considering how brutal Kecleon encounters are in the actual games. ^^;
I love Ketu just blatantly telling the truth as to why they’re out there. It’s so outlandish that he’d just come out and say it, that it ends up covering them better than it would have if he’d lied first.
What can I say? It’s a talent of his.
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I really do enjoy the worldbuilding regarding how storage rocks work. I’m glad that it ends up having a purpose though, because I did admittedly wonder why we were taking the time to discuss it at first.
I mean, Virgil and I are pretty firmly insistent that there are few things in this story that are truly superfluous. This was another example of the dynamic in action.
Ah, I see you’re setting up for the Sibich stuff here. I don’t remember exactly what his angle is, but I do remember the trial coming up in an arc or two, and that it was a fun B plot.
You’ll get a reminder of that in due time.
To give my brief thoughts on the chapter, I like the throughline on the a-plot of the team starting to reharmonize and get back together. And most of the B-plots seem to be setting up for the climax of this chapter, so I’m looking forward to that. For critique, maybe you could argue this could have been divided into two chapters due to the amount of b-plot stuffed into it and causing the a-plot to be dragged out a bit longer than I’d like, but it feels almost like there was a full mini arc in the chapter so I can’t complain too much.
I suppose we can see the argument for having split things up, but I think we’ll opt to let things stand as they are here. In general, we tend to prefer chapters that feel like a “complete” whole for this story, even if it might make them a bit chunky to some.
Chapter 53
First, we check in on Lyn and Elllsberg, who stumble upon a couple of beaten lackeys. Lyn makes it quite clear why he’s in charge here. A part of me thinks they would have been sliiightly better off if they hadn’t tried to lie. Slightly. There are few pokemon who can get away with trying to pull one over him, and these two aren’t competent enough for that.
Probably. Maybe. Lyn is a bit of a mercurial character, so I’m sure Ken and Hooke would’ve still been in for a miserable experience had they come clean.
Then we have the kids working together to defeat the hippopotas and hipowdon from the last chapter. It’s good to see them getting along again. I do want to critique the fight scene a bit here. I feel like it drags on a bit too long for my tastes. I think part of it might be the prose style, admittedly. There’s a lot of use of names and epithets in the fight. Sometimes it makes sense as it clears up who is taking what action. But at other points it just makes the action feel clunky because of how long it makes it take to get to the point, if that makes sense.
Hrm, a bit unfortunate to hear, even if we’d like to think that our current battle choreography’s gotten a bit smoother in more recent episodes since we’ve dialed back the epithets considerably as time went on.
In the scene with Hess, we see that he decides to follow Elty’s word instead of following Sibich. It works out, given what happens to said cofagrigus iirc.
Well, it certainly works out for Hess, at least. ^^;
Chapter 54
I don’t have as many specific thoughts about this chapter. The kids trying to not be suspicious and ending up being even more suspicious was cute, but they’re lucky that Alius just saw them as a bunch of injured kids and didn’t think it was suspicion worth pursuing.
Nida: “You know what? I can live with luck, really.”
Meanwhile, Lynn’s got the right idea that the imperials not searching the dungeon means Pleo isn’t there, but for the wrong reasons lmao. But man, he’s not screwing around this time. This is one of the more brutal fights we see on screen, given that someone straight up gets stabbed. Ouch.
Lyn: “My primary fighting implements are swords. Did you honestly expect me not to stab a ‘mon or two here or there who can’t get out of my way?” >_>;
Chapter 55
Jumping into the second scene since I don’t have much to say about the first, I think that this really shows the difference between Nagant and Lyn. While she’s not going to offer a plethora of help, Nagant recognizes Team Traveler as a bunch of kids and is giving them the opportunity to leave and go home. Compare that to how the same kids have been treated by pokemon in the Company… The Empire isn’t particularly good, but they do definitely read as the lesser of two evils.
I mean, it helps when they have the likes of [cabotstarry] are in their ranks. I mean, I suppose that the Company has Salvini and Kellner? Though the average member of Company leadership is a bit harder-edged than their Imperial counterpart.
I do like that Ketu gets knocked down just a peg by Lyn here. Sure, he lets it just roll off his back, but there are consequences for his haughty behavior. But as one of the more resourceful pokemon, he is (unsurprisingly), leading the first of the three groups that get past the gate and into the city proper.
Yeah, there are certainly limits to how much you can push the envelope as a subordinate. Not that Ketu isn’t creative at testing them.
Chapter 56
Not only is this a courtroom drama arc, it’s also served with a side of a tournament arc!
First, we have the setup where Pleo is presented to the ruler. I do find it amusing that she gives Nagant Opera tickets instead of what she was actually wanting. Though I’ll also I’ll give Aleria one thing: she does show that she intends to give Nagant her title back. She just doesn’t have the means to right now.
Yeah, that whole exchange was a big character-establishing moment for Aleria there. Glad to hear that you found it fun to read.
The second part of this chapter sets up the courtroom side of things. I remembered roughly what the plot was, but not all the details. Hoo boy. They have their work cut out for them. Especially since the pokemon are marked.
Chapter 57
And finally, Team Traveller is reunited! (Minus one notably absent Pleo, who's stuck watching events unfold.) It’s good to see them finally united, about 50 chapters later. This arc really is a bit of a turning point for the story. The formula has shifted. The kids are back together. Now they just need to work out how to rescue Pleo. But in the short term, they have other problems to deal with. Such as…
The tournament! I don’t really have much to say about the fight, but the audience surrounding it? Damn, they’re brutal. I suppose team Anomaly does have the home field advantage. I do kind of like the idea of a team made up of shinies, except for that one weird ice vulpix. He’s not shiny, he’s just strange.
Vulpix: “B-But I’m normal back on my home island!”
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More seriously, glad to hear that you enjoyed things getting shaken up here. The second quarter of the fic can be a bit divisive in how it’s received thanks to things coming off as too formulaic, but this episode and the one before were the ones where that went straight out the window in favor of something new.
The tournament does, of course, cause them to run behind for the court trial. I do enjoy the chicanery and all the Ace Attorney references. I’m not super deep into that series, but I understand enough that I get most of the jokes.
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Looks like we hit the mark there, then.
I’ll end things off here. Aside from maybe some minor critiques, I don’t have much to say. I think I did see a typo where Rita was referred to as “The Rita,” but I can’t easily go back and search right now. Things are heating up, and we’re not even at the halfway point for this arc (especially given that two of the upcoming chapters are split into two parts does feel like a nice break point for now. So until next time.
We went and fixed the typo that you referred to, though glad to hear that you had fun with these chapters. We’ll be looking forward to you continuing your second journey through this story sometime soon.
@Nekodatta
Chapter 8:
We start off with Pleo waking up in the aftermath of the pirate's attack, and I really like how again and again Pleo's childlike ignorance gets displayed, because obviously he would have no idea what bandages or even medics are, or immediately assume that the pirates still being here means they still need to fight them. I like how diverse the crowd of pirates is and the little details given to the prisoners, like the Jygglypuff being gagged so they can't sing, eh.
Such is life with childlike naivete and Virgil and I had a few giggles coming up with some of the fine details of that sequence.
The running gag The running gag of Guildmaster/Mayor/Judge Hatteras having to constantly switch scarves is always funny, I wonder how long it will take before someone gets sick of it.
If you extended the question to Pokémon not on Tromba, probably “really fast” :V
I love how Pleo accidentally not only gets the Community Service idea approved, but also wants to pick someone himself even if he doesn't really understand what it means. That's a way to get a new teammate, I guess, even if a really uncooperative one.
Elty: “Well excuse me for not being excited to be signed up for forced labor here.”
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This one was a fun chapter; it gave a bit of a look to how the town would handle captured criminals. I find it interesting that some of the pirates seemed to know what's in the Wastes (or rather isn't), and that exile seems to be a rather common punishment. On one hand, I'm really curious about what's out there, but on the other, I don't really want our little rescue team in the making to be in the situation to find out... Even if I suppose we will, sooner or later.
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Chapter 9
The sparring in the first part of this chapter was nice, Pleo obviously still has a long way to go in learning how to fight (and fly.... And do both at the same time), but the highlight of this chapter is definitely Melissa. How TM work is already a bit weird in the main saga, and even more so in Mystery Dungeon. Add the giant question mark that is "how do Porygon work in Mystery Dungeon", and there's the potential for some very fun worldbuilding there. I love how everyone is completely puzzled at both Melissa and what TMs are.
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We get a direct mention of Silph, so there's already some interesting implications about that…
I mean, the preamble did openly state that this was a world that once had humans in it. Even if I suppose this was the part where we tipped our hat as to what sort of world with humans in it it was.
I wonder what happens if a Porygon has no one to help them out of the ""trance"" while they are busy reading a disc. Or how common they are. But the way the whole procedure was described as this strange, mystical magic ritual was delightful, I loved it.
Something something “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” something something.
Looks like next chapter will be the first true Mystery Dungeon exploration for the team! Also, small detail, but I really like how HM02 doesn't make Pleo immediately fly but jump higher, since that's actually what the HM translates to in the original japanesr. Nice touch!
I actually don’t remember whether or not that was a deliberate reference or not, but it wouldn’t be the first fluff detail from a non-English localization we worked in in this story.
So Pokémon DO eat meat? I have to wonder where it comes from. Some mystery dungeon fics use the "feral Pokémon" approach, but here it's established that ferals are as sentient as the "civilized" Pokemon so... but there seems to be some notion and mention of Pokémon hunting each other, since that whole thing with the Skarmory was mentioned.
This actually got elaborated on a bit later on in the story, especially when Ander got a more front and center introduction.
The gummies being this age - old passed down recipe is a fun bit of worldbuilding, as is the mention of all the various tries until they got a recipe that's nutrious for every kind of Pokémon. Having to cook food suitable for any possible Pokémon species sounds like an absolute nightmare otherwise. I wonder what they do for Pokémon that explicitly have a very specialised diet? Like a Sableye that eats gemstones? Do they just make do with random rocks?
I would hazard a guess that there’s a nonzero chance that it’s not that far removed from Pokékibble’s composition back in the day, even if you get to see a better view of some of the inputs later on in this story.
The fog experienced to enter a mystery dungeon gives me Dark Souls vibes. Or at least, that's how I am picturing it lol. And I assume that holding each other is to avoid entering the dungeon scattered all over the floor in different places. That's smart!
I’ll admit, we actually had Digimon Tamers more in mind for this fog, but the rest is basically on the mark.
Also interesting how the ferals seem to know the ritual used in johto to summon Lugia, seems like little bits of human culture got passed down... Interesting that there seems to be multiple versions. (Lugia's song and this one).
Makes you wonder what else managed to make it over from the world-that-was, huh?
Poor Elty gets zero trust lol, they prefer to empty the bag by using stuff instead of giving anything to him.
I mean, he’s gotta start from somewhere after coming to their island helping to nick things and set stuff on fire.
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Chapter 12
I like that one of the first places to get rebuilt in town is the one that handles the booze, feels pretty realistic lol. And it seems that the "Company" mentioned some chapters ago has arrived early... Fortunately right as Pleo is out of town. So these guys supposely gather taxes but I wonder if it's taxes or "taxes" in a more... Criminal way. Because they seem to act like it with the classic "protection money" extortion.
I mean “taxes” become taxes when you have enough power to back it up and throw on a veneer of legitimacy.
Oh wow, ship burning. That is pretty serious... Oh nevermind, lol.
You know you did a bad job if even Pleo is roasting you about something, lol.
I mean, on a more serious crew, it’d be more serious. But fortunately for Elty, he’s not from one.
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Oh, so stuff can move around even while you are on a specific floor? That sounds like a nightmare and makes things a lot more difficult... Doesn't that make maps relatively useless however? You can't know if what you are drawing is actually still relevant.
Well, the stairs can. Ditto doing antics with stuff like Tunnel Wands. Too much moving around on the floors while you’re there is usually a sign of bigger problems, though.
Aaaand they landed in a Monster House, or at least I assume that's what it is...
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Chapter 13
We get thankfully straight back to where we left off with the Monster House, and I like that the team at least tries to use Pleo's status as the Protector again, even if it failed. Actually, I'm wondering what it would take for random Pokémon to actually *believe* him. People seem to just vaguely know what Lugia and other legendaries even look like, so either they do something that's completely unique to them, or it would be just a matter of showing enough power. But what could a Lugia do that's unique to them? Create storm and whirlpools, but arguably other incredibly strong water Pokémon could do it too... Even if not on such a large scale.
As scary as that Samurott is, they're also really cool. Their dialogue also seems to imply that Pleo wouldn't be the first "god" they have seen awaken or even contacted? Are some legendaries already on their side?
This will be answered in due time in this story.
Like they themselves said, even legendaries when they are young would be easily influenced... I can see a sort of weapon's race to see who can "recruit" more "gods" to their side, or killing them so at least no one else can…
They’re leaning more towards the former of those two options, since nobody really knows what the consequences of killing them would be other than that the last time it definitely happened, it was really bad.
Ironic that it's pretty much what the player does in the post game of every Mystery Dungeon game: recruiting every legendary and becoming a literal unstoppable army compared to any other rescue team.
Really looking forward to how things will develop!
And we’ll be looking forward to seeing you come back again sometime soon. Thanks for the review! ^^
@Kiba Makuro
I kinda forgot that Nida fell, especially that it was specifically a Pitfall Trap. Nice seeing a trap a la segway into finding the Lugia fledgling by chance. It feels like some folks wouldn't like how convenient it is but let's be honest it's harder to make a good reason without twisting your head off.
Yeah, it’s a bit of a coincidence, but someone would’ve entered that chamber eventually and there’s a reason why the fic follows Nida’s perspective.
Pataki was really funny and I liked the mechanics of a whole teleportation crew. Usually folk don't even use the badge features so it was nice to see both teleporting and the recruitment of Mystery Dungeon mon.
Yeah, just showing off “this is how a PMD setting would work” is a pretty big part of Fledglings’ raison d’etre. I mean, it’s a bit off-spec given that it’s like 98% water as a setting, but good enough.
The chapter was a little wordy, rather there's fluff on extra descriptions in sentences but it wasn't a slog to read thankfully. Of course that's just a difference in style.
Hrm, I’ll admit that I didn’t really expect to hear that for these chapters, and it’s the first time I’ve heard someone say this about them, but I suppose everyone has their preferred flavors for prose.
I like how Nida, Crom, and Kiran recognized that Pleo was the same form on the bell, (in which I forgot unfortunately that happened). However it was a little annoying that you played around with the epithets for the Lugia, there were about 4 or 5 in one chapter alone.
Yeeeeeeah, that was a thing earlier on in this story. If you highlight specific spots, we’ll consider touching a few parts up, otherwise this is something where we’ll opt to leave things be to continue on to make progress.
Finally we get some closure on Kiran's position, I was wondering how his temporary position would be explained. Also nice to get a reminder on the town and island's name, it's been about 1 or 2 chapters since the reminder, considering it's going to be partially explored by Pleo and Team Traveller soon. We also get to see some new characters of the Guild, including the Ampharos Guildmaster Hatteras, which fleshes it out a little, as we barely got time to look around. Looking around probably didn't fit the earlier chapters too much, besides chapter 1 so I'm fine.
Now we're learning about the other worries of Bluewhorl town, the pirates and the Company, which I've seen a little of in other reviews. Too bad Lugia here is little weak baby, but there's nothing training can't fix, even for a little sea god Protector.
Sounds like you had quite a bit of fun with that tail end, though don’t worry, you’ll be getting a better view of Bluewhorl and its surroundings in the upcoming episode from where you’re at.
Anyway nice chapter, sorry for not being too in depth but I'm just here for a little bit, keep the good work you two!
And thanks again for the review! We’ll be looking forward to seeing you around in the future! ^^
@StolenMadWolf
Which leads to the suitably humorous and well timed moment for Pleo to learn to fly! One of my favourite burds is finally flying! Cue to hilarious ganking on the remaining Feral and… of course the inevitable crashlanding. Luckily enough, we soon get the escort team making their return and prompting the ferals to immediately break out running. The rest of the chapter proceeds quickly enough, bringing us to the team finding their target and getting ready to depart… with the typical fan girl. Cue the embarrassment.
Pataki: “No, no, this is a great way to leave things off.”
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And so we go straight into a practice battle… and welp, Elty does a lot better than expected. I mean, seriously, even considering the community service thing, he should probably be given more jobs at some point just because of his abilities… and of course he get’s taken out by yet another crash landing. As a bonus, we get the footer image with Nida riding Pleo here! Awesome to see that referenced!
Hold onto that thought about ‘more jobs’ there.
Soon enou- oh, wait a second. We’ve got some kind of Pokeball’s present in the setting huh? Okay, interesting seeing them a piece of technology as seemingly a cursed item instead. That’s an interesting take, and did make me think twice for a minute there. Ok, and they are good for making Shakes? Is that a Legends thing I missed?
Those would be Apricorns there. They’re not quite Pokéballs, even if they’re depicted as having similar properties in this setting (and in OaT since you’ve read it) with a few more nasty side effects.
Except… okay. Oh shit, I remember reading this now. Descendents of those who nearly destroyed the world in the past and such? Okay, their terror is pretty understandable then. Having someone have a go at you for something that your ancestor had done? That’s… actually a pretty horrible way to live. That suddenly made this chapter feel a lot more tragic, and it’s the first time Pleo has got hit with potential horrific revelations. No idea if they are true or not, especially with all the end of the world and demon stuff… but dang, that’s going to be bouncing around in his head for a while.
Yeah, this is a thread that will be revisited a few times during the events of this story. So keep an eye out there.
Cue going into Chapter 16. The chapter I’ve been waiting on for a while. It’s time for the first really big battle to begin. Nida and Crom soon see through the escape plan, and manage to get the whole village away of the Company’s plan. And, well, combat ensues. Very big battles like this, even when confined in a narrow area are actually really difficult to write. There are so many different variables to consider here, so it’s easy for information to slip through the net. And this does happen. The actual blows feel powerful and effective, with not too much information given here, which is good, because it does not bog down the actual combat. That is the really good bit. The more difficult bit is that with a larger battle in play, sometimes the detail is left a bit lacking. That means it can be difficult to keep track of the wider picture. Sometimes, this is pretty easy, but at other times, it’s hard to work out exactly what has happened. This can be done effectively from time to time, especially for stuff like surprises. But if not used carefully, you can lose track on where folks are, especially once things are moving quickly.
Yeah, it’s a bit of a balancing act there, though it sounds like things worked out on balance for you? If there are specific spots that came to mind that you felt were lacking one or another thing, feel free to point them out to us next time.
Going with a general gloss over first this time rather than breaking down the chapters. These three chapters do serve as a nice little snippet as the team goes ahead to try and save the recently captured baby burd Pleo. And damn, do we get some emotional highs here and there. Namely because the original sneaking on board plan doesn’t entirely work, as unfortunately, it seems like poor Crom is about to exit stage left. Which makes sense, given that he doesn’t appear in the promotional banner that you use in your tags at the bottom. But it seems like he is still going to has some kind of presence in the story, which even gets alluded to as we get scenes taking us back to Toomba, which also actually serves a role in the story, even it’s a fairly minor feature. We see not only the aftermath of the ship’s departure and the fact several young Pokemon have become missing, but also how the poor villagers are coping. It really helps humanise the cast in how they all respond differently to the grief in a way I haven’t really seen yet, which is really effective when it comes to the story as a whole.
>exit stage left
Once upon a time, this was the part where he was going to exit stage left from the story until close to the end, but that wound up changing. You’ll see what that looks like as you get further along.
The second half of the three chapters essentially focuses on that rescue attempt, namely as poor Pleo is changed up and again has his self-esteem beaten down by Lyn the asshat. Meanwhile, Nida and Pleo have to sneak their way through the ship to find him. Sneaking scenes can be very tricky to write, mainly because there is a lot of tension that needs to be done in these sequences without hefty combat to help hold it up. There are points in my mind where the tension runs a bit flat. Namely Elty sticking his head out of one of a few crates they have to hide in to basically rob the bastards blind. Convenient and handy for the plot sure, but how the hell did he not get spotted here!? Yes, I know he’s in a box to, so there isn’t a lot to describe with the semi-limited third person perspective we have here in the fan fic, but it’s still the one time I didn’t really engage with the story? To be fair though, sneaking scenes can be painfully difficult to write. It’s very easy to let them drag out or come and go without any tension at all.
Hrm, a bit unfortunate that that moment didn’t stick the landing for you. Though the official answer to not getting spotted is “he was fast and under deck in a dimly-lit ship”. We might drop in a couple blurbs to make the “dimly-lit” part a bit more obvious.
That being said, the actual rescue attempt is actually realistic throughout. It doesn’t go without a hitch, naturally, Chapter 17 has poor Crom get discovered trying to sneak in – despite being a good plan – and ends up getting beaten into a heap. I do feel sorry for the guy there. Naturally, the only reason that Nida and Elty even get through is because the ship is forced to depart early. Then they are stuck in said crate because being a sailing ship, the ship isn’t actually that big in the first place! I mean, I’ve been on a large ship of the line once as part of a museum visit, and whilst it is really big, it’s also really small and is something you could get across in a few minutes, especially with a large crew. The only reason they get so far is because most of the crew is fast asleep. Now the naval nerd in me would suspect there is some kind of watch present, but that is something I’m willing to forgive. They do get quite far in Chapter 18, but it’s nevertheless inevitable they get discovered and surrounded come Chapter 19. Which leads to probably the best moment. Namely good young Pleo finally getting a well-deserved powerboost – possibly with some distant help from Crom – going out of his way to pray or wish Pleo and the others can escape. And damn, does he do a lot of damage to the ship. My only complaint is a wish we saw a bit… more of that? Like it read like it happened within a second or two – at least unless my tired out mind had a brain poof – where I think we could have crept a bit more in there? But that is just me here.
I mean, if things went for too long, there wouldn’t have been much of a ship left there. ^^;
Though hold onto those thoughts, since Pleo is very much still a beginner at wielding that power that lurks inside him. The fastest way to get better at something is to do it a few times.
Either way, it’s almost a successful escape – almost in that they get shot out of the sky and crash land on a new island in a mystery dungeon. Now, in a way, I’m now really excited about something like this. If the story is now going to focus on Nida, Elty and Pleo working to try and find their way back home over the course of much of the fic, then damn, sign me on. I’m a sucker for those kinds of journeys, especially when we are meeting new people along the way. Especially if Crom heads out himself at some point down the line to try and find the rest of his team. That would be really awesome to see.
Narrator: “The story is going to focus on Nida, Elty, and Pleo working to try and find their way back home”.
Well, mostly. This wouldn’t be a 1.2 million word and counting story if there weren’t a hitch or two along the way.
These chapters can be quite easily split in two, at least in terms of perspective. I do kinda prefer the stuff that is happening with Crom at the moment, but that’s mainly because of the huge character interaction and showing their reactions. It’s really pleasant to see. The rescue and escape is more standard fare, but does have a few nice moments in it as well, especially with what I suspect is a really good bit of plot set up here. If I am right about all that of course. Whilst Chapter 17 and 19 are a bit lengthy for my taste, I won’t make much of a point about their size, as there isn’t really a decent set of cut off points regarding them, especially with the potential interlap between the two locales here. There are some areas I’d want more detail, but otherwise, it’s all solid there. There isn’t much worldbuilding, but the plot is moving very nicely now and the characters are really starting to shine through here. I’m really looking forward to seeing what comes through next with the story when I come on round next after the blitz!
I think that the chapter length recommendation is something that we’re ultimately just going to have to call “differences of stylistic preferences” on them, since the overall average length of a chapter later in this story is around 10,000 words. Though even if it wasn’t quite your preference, we’re glad to hear that you still enjoyed yourself quite a bit, and we’ll be looking forward to seeing you around in the future. ^^
@Venia Silente
This is the VERY DELAYED part of a review trade, now for RB2025which will if all goes well cover Ch.73 - most importantly, its pretty good best doggo screentime!
We’re grabbing Ch.73 “Backed Into a Corner” and some parts of Ch.74 “Moving Along”. Given the constraints of review-based events to have this ready for RB2025, we’ll be focusing this time on a special path: that of best doggo.
[...]
Not you, no, unfortunately. Your current going-throughs have been rather bad for you as of late, plot-wise. :p
But don’t worry I have plans for you.
Elty: “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? Who on earth could possibly challenge me for-?”
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Anyway, as I was saying:
Ch.73+74: The Path of Alvise
Elty: “... Seriously? You’re calling him best doggo?”
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(More seriously, this was hilarious.)
After the ghostly adventures of the last few chapters, we open up with the cast and crew of the Mistral Marauder ready to part with their missing members, a list which sadly for Hess includes Nori. ^_^
Hess:
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(Also, that sequence you wrote made me snerk.)
No, really, at least the Team Rocket of this story did something good!
Just don’t let them find out that you mean the anime trio, since I’m sure they’ll be less than thrilled.
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So, Hess says, it’s about time for payback and the crew now has the mission to head over to town and raid it like the, ya know, the pirates they are. And the crew… doesn’t really seem to like the idea, at least until Hess draws the obvious carrot for the stick:
Meme about Hess’s Crew![]()
What can I say? He knows how his underlings tick. :P
And there you have it, boys. The prize granted for doing the work is, of course, getting to do more work!
(Also, the bit about Alvise and his buddies fuming about their plot role is gold.)
And thus the team goes on, dragged on by Hess, once again. To save the day, to win the day for the rest of the crew, once again. Join the pirates they said, there will be rum they said.
Such is life when you’re literally jumping aboard the first pirate ship that’ll let you into their crew. o<o
And one of the big advantages of skipping right to the opening area is that a big group standing near an entrance is something that’s quick to find out and quick to flush out, so our friendly Ghost Life Telemarketers show up, ya know, ready to dispense the usual “joiiiiin uuuuuus” treatment…
And they quickly get this treatment instead:
[youtube]]View: https://youtu.be/E3GGKF6CsjY[/youtube]
That’s… surprisingly accurate, yes.
Nori, you literally have hands!
Not to mention Alvise is the local Zinogre equivalent…
Shhh… don’t give Alvise ideas there.
…Good thing Alvise was not practising sparks right there and then! XD
Well, they’d have managed to start a fire at least? Even if it’d have been a bit too early.
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Yup, I swear it was not me this time. :p
Elty: “Well, apparently it’s not. (Seriously, who okayed this?)”
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After that, they get to Vince’s team, which they quickly disarm after Alvise priority-preempts them with an electric attack, allowing the rest of the team to swiftly move in.
“Full room” moves like Discharge and Rock Blast are annoying in PMD aren’t they? :p
Alvise: “I think you misspelled ‘awesome’ there.”
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Alvise has realized there’s no Ground-type who can intercept his attacks, so he’s free to herd-hit the whole oppossing team with some impunity. Because in Fledglings area attacks are broken~.
Yup, that was actually a very deliberate meta decision to not have Guardia around for this fight. This is just the hardest that Alvise and his friend circle are to deal with in the story, and we figured that we’d make the most of it.
Our beloved birb tries to can into Thunderbolt, a Tee-yem that was taught to him before, but as usual in such pivotal moments without significant previous onscreen training, it fails to do anything useful. So, at least in what comes to Electric, we can say that Alive’s thunder remains unstolen! :p
Alvise: “As it should be.”
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Yup, that was Alvise just about to teach a bird a lesson on how to be 73% more alert or else get 81% more well-done, too. Compounded with a thunderbolt / thundershock attack to pin the bird to the ground for good measure. :p
Kiran: “I-I demand to speak with my agent!” @v@
Nida tries to intervene but gets a bone to the gut for her trouble, and then Alvise tries one page from the Stygian Zinogre playbook and goes for Pleo with a lunge cancel into an antiair reach, but it is the canine who gets a Dragon typed attack for his trouble.
Still, this inspires Pleo to just Try Harder. Because all the Pokémon games can be brute-forced! :p
I think that Pleo has a biiiit of his work cut out for him there, just saying. Even if in the longer term, he could absolutely brute force most encounters. ^^;
Aaaaand Alvise proceeds to take out Pleo.
The power of fr- excuse me, the Power of Friendship, now exudes from Nida as she has to save the plot once again! And she’s surrounded by The Light! Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN DUN.
[...]
Yup! It’s time! Your NIDA is evolving!
[...]
Your NIDA continues to evolve!
[...]
Your NIDA has evolved!
The desperate B-Buttoning in between just sells this moment.
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It is the once-in-a-lifetime event Crom has been waiting for. I mean, we all. We all have been waiting for. After lots and lots of chapters and adventures and having to endure the to-do of quite some chaperoning on her part, Nida finally evolves into a Nidorina.
Yup! It won’t be the last such moment in the story, but we figured that we’d been keeping the audience waiting for long enough to see the cast start evolving.
The two go at each other, with Alvise doing the tried and true electric spasm attack and having the advantage of distance!
[...]
Nida, now in a stronger and more resilient body, manages to still breach the distance and get close enough to land a crippling, well-aimed, poison attack pretty much at Alvise’s yugular!
>that cutaway
Hilariously enough, that’s more or less the explicit logic we used for this sequence.
And while the two Pokémon fall, Alvise does not any promptly get back up.
Double K.O.!
[...]
Hush, precious spy.
That Elty commentary made me giggle there.
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WHEN, THEN??? WHEN???
Some other time, it seems, because with the battle finished here and the fires beginning to rage, and pretty much everyone unconscious or half there, the current (get it? current?) screentime for Team Valatos has them all but fade into unconsciousness.
Valatos: “Wait, what? I refuse to believe that this is the end of our appearances. Get my agent on the line!”
As if! Darth Valter is quick to slap these three now-prisoners back to reality. The three mons, now tied up after their defeat, are brought in to be JUDGED!
Because now, Darth Valter and Emperor Cernum show up into the proceedings.
Alvise et al:
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As such, Team Valatos is now assigned to what given the circumstances will be a long offscreen time…
…ooooor an escape plot. Who knows!
This is actually the last that we’ll see of these three… in Fledglings.
No promises on anything outside of that. :V
What might happen to them, we shall know after the next review, because the next one will be some bits of Ch.73 and the majority of Ch.74 but from the other doggo perspective of this arc: Elty!
Elty: “Alright, that’s what I’m talking about!”
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Hess: "It is with a heavy heart that I, Hess, captain of this crew, have to announce that our team of volunteers has been killed in action."
Crew Vileplume: "Uuuuh sir but we have not even recovered the bodies."
Hess: [sighs] "Fine then, file them as missing in action."
Crew Drednaw: "...I feel like this crew gets lots of disrespect... I don't think Eltenios would like it much if he returned."
Rodion: "Nonsense! We love Eltenios around here don't we, Captain?"
Hess: "Oh yes, very good spy doggo. Much committed. A shame other doggos are not like that."
Alvise: "WATCH OUT BEST DOGGO COMING THRU!"
Elty: “Go away, you! You’re not even in this scene right now!”
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Valter: "Have you chosen, death?"
Guardia: "We've been trying to help you for 0.35 chapters already, you idiot!"
Kiran: "W-we don't know her I swear..."
Kiran: “(Not that you’ve been making this any easier for us.)” >_>;
Kiran: "We have a 63% effectiveness record against Hess! Nothing about him slips by us!" ^_^
Elty: [silently being a good spy o3o]
Valter: “Why are you bragging about an effectiveness record that low?” -;
Darth Valter: "I'm sorry but I have contractual obligations as a jerkass. That I enjoy."
Cernum: "Come on Valter, this can't be that bad. You can be a pretend jerkass all you want, but you are scared! That you'll never be as jerk as Kline!"
Kline: "Hey! That's uncalled for! I'm not an unlikable hindrance, right guys?"
Kiran: [compiling statistics on who wouldn't ditch Kline]
Ander: [once again considering the death of the self]
Crom: [recalling conversations with Pladur about what seasonings would go well with Kline]
Cernum: [recalling incidents of domestic terrorism]
...
Kline: "...Guys?"
Kline: “I could see all of that happening, you know!” >;
Nida: "Oh no... you don't think he's ditching us again, is he?"
Pleo: "Rumors are he went off to fix a mistake... he likes us! He wouldn't leave us!"
Kiran: "He totally wouldn't! He still owes 28% of his community service sentence!"
Trizano: "Oh, maybe I can provide some help?"
Nida: "Yes please! Our partner with the designated screentime has left us!"
Crom: [points to self and Nida] "If you can't take us to Elty we'll fade to black for this review!"
Kiran: "..."
Trizano: "...?"
Nida: "..." o.o [blushes]
Crom: [fidgeting] "Um,"
Nida: "Crom now's not the time!"
IF NOT NOW THEN WHEN, NIDA? WHEN???
Nida: "What we mean to say is we need to chase after him."
I’m dying with these shipping gags you’ve got going on.
Crom: "Yeah, we don't want to fade to offscreen for this chapter."
Trizano: "Say no more! Heroes always have room for screentime! Lets-a-go!"
Guardia: [sheepishly] "C-can I come with too? H-he's a baka and I'm worried..."
But he's your baka, Guardia. Totally shippable. o3o
Eltenios meanwhile has made it all the way back to the Iron Fleet's positioning, at the entrance of the Mystery Dungeon. After all, he knew this was the only viable access point for a raid. (Really, what is Valter even worrying about? Alvise is already inside o3o)
Hess: "Okay everyone, time to seize the means of production... of rum!"
The Crew: "Woo hoo!"
Hess: "Shall no one get in our way!"
Elty: "BEST DOGGO COMING THRU!"
Alvise: “I thought that I was best doggo-”
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Elty: “Oi, go back to being passed out in the village!”
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Crew Litten: "Why am I the only Fire-type without good screentime?"
Pieter: "Forget about that! Captain! He's a traitor! He attacked us earlier!"
Elty: "I have a good explanation for that actually."
Rodion: "Listen, he has attacked us several times..."
Elty: ".... okay that one might be a bit more complicated."
Cpt. Hess: "Enough everyone! Elty has been on secret mission as a spy!"
Pieter: "Wat."
The crew: "...the fuck?"
Elty:
Lmao. You sure know your way to building up to a punchline there.
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Kichiro: "Hey I can multiclass as a Priest of Pleo Lord of Storms!" ^_^
Sus, Kichiro. Sus.
I think he needs to work on his attitude a bit before he starts worrying about being a priest of any sort. :P
Elty:" "What do you mean you have a plan?"
Crew Pawniard: "Wait, captain, that's dangerous! You are thinking too much!"
Crew Voltorb: "Yeah, it's Hess we're talking about!"
Hess: "Oi! Quit it with the disrespect! And you! Betray those hicks already!"
Elty: "But they're my friends!"
Crew Foatzel: "We are your friends!"
Hess: "Really man, come on, you are part of our crew!"
Elty: "...Well, maybe we could all be friends?" ^_^
Iron Fleet:
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Elty: “Wait, but isn’t that a character from another-”
Hess: “Don’t have an emote of my own yet to do it in person. Give it a couple months.”
Yeah no that does not work like that. While it makes some sense that Hess wants a Protector for pirates, Pleo is kinda sorta already that, so it's not too convenient to force and try his hand after the recent experience in the Empire's capital. Plus, it's not like there's enough legendaries around so that everyone can get a Protector.
I now have some riff of Oprah going “and you get a Protector, and you get a Protector” stuck in my mind now. I blame you for that. ^^;
(Also if it's for a ship crew, we all know already that precious Cabot and his team ft. best Noble have got dibs on hosting and raising the birb.
Pleo: "They've already entertained me before! As a guest! We can do that again!"
Cpt. Nagant: [seethes in the background]
Pleo: “... Or we could not visit her house again anytime soon, that works, too.”
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Dimitri: "Don't worry we are here!"
Ander: "Not that I don't like the good screentime but why did we have to come here to fight?"
Rodion: "That's exactly what we'd like to know!"
Hess: "Someone has been causing a ruckus."
Guardia: "Welll... Let's ask this baka."
[everyone stops and turns to stare at Elty]
Elty: "Uuuuh.... friendship?"
Kichiro: "Well maybe you should Reflect on that!"
That pun is horrible, you know that?
Sure enough, Kichiro in his current role of monk / priest boosts Hess's Team and there they go, tanking hits from Team Traveler including some clubs by Guardia. What's worse for the hero team, is Hess can do EQ, and he shows to be effective enough on that. The only immediate cushion for TT on that is that Hess gets a burn status but that's something Rodion and Kichiro can handle.
So Elty has the idea of getting Kichiro off the game in the first place!
Elty: "Guardia, want to do something crazy?"
Guardia: "I'd rather do something that works!"
Elty: "Por qué no los dos? Just twirl that club with some flair, with a boost?"
Guardia: "Since when do you have good ideas?"
Elty: “Hey! I have plenty of good ideas!”
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While Guardia is powering up, Hess and Kichiro work up to take down Instant Teammates, much to Guardia's Alarm, but this allows Elty to interfere by calling out Kichiro and taunting him, a timely trickery that draws aggro away from Guardia and Dimitri at a critical moment.
Indeed, this leads to Kichiro getting distracted during sweeping Elty down to the ground, which results in Dimitri recovering and putting Kichiro down to the ground.
Kichiro: “Urgh… gods, I hate 4x weaknesses.” X.X
Trizano grabs Guardia and Elty and we get some aerial maneuvers, which eventually allow for Guardia to smack Hess with the power of gravity. Rodion grounds Trizano but this still gets Elty in position to go one on one against Hess:
Elty: "Sooooo, about that vacation time..."
Elty gets to Flame Wheel Hess and win that one particular encounter!
Hess: “... Ow.”
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Rodion: "Wait, this changes everything!"
Kichiro: "What do you mean?"
Rodion: "He took down the captain... does that mean a Klingon Promotion?"
Kichiro: "...Let's hope not, we still have to answer to the rest of the crew, let's go!"
Darth Valter: "Not so soon, invaders. Your raid time is over."
Hess: "You win this one, but we're leaving a 1-star Yelp review on this site for the Company's records!"
Darth Valter: "A review??? Oh no!"
Cabot: "We had a great time there! And we made friends with Pleo!"
Berecien: "Eeeeeh, if you want to call it that..."
Cpt. Nugget: [seethes at recalling the checkers game, the call-out to his nobility, the fact that Cabot got assigned the VIP cabin, etc...]
Elty: “Good thing we’re not running into them again anytime soon. Right? Right…?”
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And while Elty has every right to enjoy this new development, he's willing to take a bit of high ground and address Valatos and his team directly. He imparts on some of his earned life experience.
Alvise: "What, did you come to rub it in?"
Elty: "Yes but no. See, I am doing Community Service currently, and it's not that bad."
Valatos: "We'd have to go around taking orders!"
Elty: [raises brow] "Which is different from before... how?"
Valatos: "...Okay that's a good point."
Elty: "But listen: If anything, this can get you you lots of screentime!"
And with that, Valatos and his team are sent off to be thrown to the brick.
With some parting
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Elty meanwhile has a bit of a character moment explaining to Guardia that he had hoped, from secondhand experience, that he could have a good parting of ways with Cpt. Hess even if temporary. And it's understandable that he feels very bad that things did not go okay, since he's now basically broken ties with his family.
Guardia: "...B-but you have your family back home, right?"
Elty: "No, not really... I'm dungeonborn and stuff happened, and there was this prison that Kline mentioned..."
Guardia: [clocks club]: "That snake. Ruining things even in backstory!"
Kline: “For the record, I literally had nothing to do with that one. Mostly.”
Aaaaand there's the fact of that Elty Special I have to get to at some point. Because damn, sad backstories. Aaaaaaa I'm not ready for that!
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Still, this means that Elty gets to open up to the team a bit more, and Guardia offers more or less the only assurance she or Nida or Crom can offer: that at least Team Traveler can stick around for each other.
Elty got some development here which was nice because of the whole fiasco with his aborted awesomeness a few chapters back. I can totally understand him asking for vacation time and even more now with his personal stuff coming to the forefront. Because he totally deserves a time to chillax, ya know? Like you know who else?
Suocéverse!Eltenios: [loafing by a meadow while humming to some nifty Eurobeat bop]
Oh don’t worry, that doggo doesn’t exactly get many breaks himself. Since I know what his employers are like. >:V
Bunsen: "Fat chance! I hold the home island in ransom."
Darzin: [waving emergency flags from offscreen]
Marley: [holding a sting to Bunsen's neck] "Don't count on your screentime too much, meat."
Bunsen: “G-Gih! She’s not supposed to be able to do this in the script!”
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And with that, doggo screentime for these reviews comes to a close. A good advancement on the adventure and Team Traveler finally obtains the Ledger for the KEY ITEMS bag, so we can proceed to the next event flag.
All in all, two whole chapters of pretty good screentime for the best doggos.
Elty: “Best doggo, but I’ll take it!”
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Ketu: [sparring] "Someone rang?"
Ssssh Ketu, you don't count as a dog.
Ketu: “Cool story, bro. I’m here to crash your review anyways.”
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Lyn: "Really Ketu, we need to have words about your mysterious screentime. As well as the why are we having screentime in this review."
Ketu: "Well it sounds sensible to me!"
Lyn: "What do you mean?"
Ketu: "I was absolutely, totally fooled with the whole Ditto thing. You didn't think I would have risked my neck into this operation if we weren't sure it was the real deal, didn't you?"
Lyn: "...I mean, sure. Unless you've got something else going on."
Ketu: "Who? Me?" o3o
When this whole thing comes crashing down I'm totally okay with Lyn being the one to slice Ketu open. Just sayin'. o3o
Ketu: “Oh, I’m sure he’ll try there…”
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Lyn: "That still does not explain the dog review part."
Ketu: "I mean, Captain, we need the screentime! In this economy!"
Lyn: [sighs] "A fair point..."
Ketu: "Think of it like this: Samurott have dog-like snouts so you can totally count. Plus, we are hounds of war."
Lyn: "...I'll concede that part."
Ketu: "And you are my bitch." o3o
Lyn: "...."
Ketu: "...." ^_^
Once again: sliced. open.
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One of the terms for a male otter in English is a ‘dog’, so in a way, we do still have a scene with a dogg-
Lyn:
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But anyway we now got to the end. See? Doggos!
Luca screentime when.
Though thanks for the two-parter review. It was a lot of fun and really brightened my and Virgil’s day to read. ^^
And since I don't feel like axing a bunch of images, just moving the rest into its own post: