• Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!

    Join now!

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
  9. celebi
Chapter 3! Putting the fight in fight club!

Overall I haven't got terribly much to say. I think the fight was written in a really dynamic way, and I like that Sid and Raskin didn't fully agree with how they felt about the outcomes here. I'm curious to see where they end up going from here! Raskin is really passive about the whole thing, and this chapter makes it pretty clear that while he's excited to try this out, he's not nearly as excited or involved as everyone else is. But presumably they're going to keep doing this if the plot is to progress, so I imagine something external is going to push him again, since that's been the running trend so far. Curious to see if Sid will break step and go off on his own here, or if they'll both just get pulled into things together.

I also liked how the fight was pretty messy--this was a good establishing of what the baseline for "oooh, exciting combat" for these mundane existences is going to be. Lyco continues to be the most interesting character and I hope that we get to see more of her somehow.

“Oh chill out, Rasky,” Sid said, grinning. “Have you ever met a ‘mon at the White Entei who’s not totally sound?”
yeah haha I don't see this backfiring, ever.

“Here’s hoping those skills never left me.”
I'm not entirely sure but the phrasing I'm more familiar with is "here's to hoping". Not sure though!

“Have you seen him kneading dough all day, though? Those limbs are more flexible than you’d think.”
I didn't quite follow the connection between kneading dough and being flexible.

Raskin felt glad she was on top of the money side of things, because he doubted Sid would be.
Heh. I had this line in the multiquote on my first readthrough--glad she follows through with holding firm on the money here! Good to see some consequences for Raskin being too skittish to get involved.

Yet this rickety room, filled with scattered groups of ‘mon who had only come together on a whim, whom most didn’t have a favourite nor type, produced a roar so much more passionate and visceral than any event at the athletics could.
This sentence was a lot of words and hard to follow--the gist is that these aren't sports fans and they're still yelling louder than sports fans, presumably because of some kindred fire stirred within them from seeing the violence. "only come together on a whim" is redundant with "scattered groups of 'mon", for example. I'd probably cut to, "Yet the rickety room was filled with scattered groups of 'mon, most of whom didn't have a favourite fighter in the ring, produced a roar more passionate and visceral than any athletics event could."

Three more seeds then only punched the hole wider.
Same here--not sure what "then only" is doing here; could streamline to "three more seeds punched the hole wide".

Lyco’s face would have stopped even the most fluent speaker in their tracks.
For me "fluent" implies language proficiency, but I think you want like, confidence/brazen here?

But... she’s getting the bulk of it. Raskin sighed. There was little use in trying to argue. He didn’t know what to argue, in truth, and even if he did, Lyco was twice his size. He and Sid scooped up their money and dumped it into his rucksack.
Really curious to see where this thread goes! I do think Raskin's been pretty passive for this entire rodeo so far, and I'm struggling to figure out why he's even going along with half these things since he seems to hate confrontation so much. Interested to see what finally pushes him off the edge.

Was it a fear of getting caught in the crossfire? Or… that Chaka or Aster would severely hurt the other? Or just that an officer could bust open the door at any moment?

Suddenly, he was back in his first home. Watching a lucario with glowing palms march through the front door, with half a dozen more hulking officers behind him. His father had kicked and spat trying to fend the officers off, until the lucario slapped him across the face, knocking him to the ground. Raskin heard himself scream—
Interesting bit of backstory! I get the sense of helplessness really strongly here, but I wanted to know how he felt about this, maybe if it had come up in the moment instead of during reflection. Dunno. Emotions are tricky.
 

NebulaDreams

Ace Trainer
Partners
  1. luxray
  2. hypno
Chapter 2:

Even though not a lot happened in the grand scheme of things since most of it is set up for the start of the fights (save for the Nidoran fight), it still kept me engaged. It gave us a glimpse into more of the worldbuilding with some nice and descriptive prose, showed more of the setting beyond Deepden, and it also introduced Lyco. I like Lyco.

My favourite parts of this chapter were the scenes where the trio started planning where they'd hold the matches. I like a good fixer-upper scene, and this definitely conveyed that exciting energy of a few bored Pokemon trying to put on a good show while keeping the logistics of it believable. Now I can't stop imagining an AU where the main characters change careers to become event planners.

Chapter 3:

This chapter surprised me. To be honest, I didn't know what to expect when the fights actually started, and while I was excited to get into the meat of the story hook, I also dreaded how it was going to go wrong with lots of Pokemon taking out their pent up aggression on one another and having Raskin/Sid pull the strings from behind the scenes. But the ending of this chapter was surprisingly uplifting as, like it's stated in the story, the Pokemon seemed to be better off after punching each other's teeth in than before when they didn't have that outlet.

My favourite moment in the chapter was everyone cheering after Sid announced the battle of the bakers. It brought some joy into the story not seen in the drab office of the Pokemon Bank or Raskin's co-tenancy flat. It's a shame it ended so soon as the brawlers ended up redecorating Lyco's house on accident, but this gave me a good taste of exciting events to come as well as increased stakes in the future, in more ways than one.

I could totally picture the battle arena being corrupted later on if it does take on a much more widespread form. Something like this is ripe for exploitation, and a couple of directions I could see it going in is: either Raskin/Sid will end up twisting the ethics of the arena in their favour for maximum profits, despite their good intentions from the start, or someone else will take over their project and make it into a cash cow. The hurdle is getting it legalised, but if the story seems to treat Pokemon battles as a positive outlet for the characters, then what happened in the world to get it banned in the first place? Either way, if they find some way to make it as profitable and exploitative as the systems that trapped Raskin/Sid to begin with, that will make for an interesting parallel.
 
Chapter 5: Digging

cynsh

full-time quilava
Location
Deepden
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. quilava
Chapter 5: Digging

Raskin stared at Sid. "You lost your job?"

Sid frowned at him. "Yeah. Why do you sound so confused?"

"I mean—um, I'm sorry." The nickit sat down on the other side of the sofa. They didn't have any other furniture to choose from, other than the two rickety chairs at the tiny kitchen table. "How did it happen?"

"It was pretty weird, really," Sid muttered. "I was going about my usual work, when our supervisor came over and said Sceptile wanted to see me. I've only met with the boss like, twice, in all the years I've been there. We sat down in her office, and firstly she thanked me for all the work I'd done on her watch… which already made me a bit suspicious. Then she said that my sector is going to start testing out some new kinda machines soon, and if it goes well, we won't need as many manual workers."

"Then what? She said you were one of the least productive workers, or something like that?"

Sid raised an eyebrow. "Pretty much exactly. How'd you guess?"

Raskin swore under his breath. I knew it.

"I don't understand it though," Sid went on, his voice slowly rising in pitch. "Sure, I don't enjoy the work, but I never slack off while I'm on the clock! There's no way I'm the least productive—I don't have to take as many water breaks as the non-fires, for starters!"

"Sid, I think I know what's going on," Raskin said. "Listen."

He briefly explained his own encounter with Pangoro.

"What?!" Sid yelped the moment Raskin reached the crux of their meeting. "You're being made redundant too? How can that be?"

Raskin sighed, looking at the floor. There suddenly felt like a huge weight on his shoulders. "Let me just… get a beer," he said, getting up. "You want one?"

"Uh… yeah, alright."

Raskin carried a bottle in each paw, walking in his bipedal stance before collapsing back on the sofa. Well, he wished he could collapse on it. The cheap material was barely softer than the wooden floor beneath it.

He took a long gulp from his bottle, and took a moment more to compose himself, welcoming the little bit of warmth in his stomach that the alcohol provided. "I don't think we were careful enough in organising the fight, Sid," he said at last. "Word must have gotten out somehow that we were involved in something illegal, and the people in power decided from that that they couldn't employ us anymore."

Sid took a moment to digest this. "Are you… are you sure?" he said slowly. "I mean, couldn't this timing just be a crazy coincidence?"

"Maybe it could, but it isn't," Raskin said firmly. "Look, neither of us were fired, only made redundant. Why? Because there was no hard evidence to fire us with, only rumours. Neither of the reasonings given for firing us made much sense, either—because they were essentially made up on the fly to cover for the flimsy actual reasoning."

Sid's face screwed up. "I still don't understand why they'd have to let us go. Wouldn't it be more reasonable to pull us to one side and say, 'hey, I've been hearing these rumours about you, don't do anything like it again or you'll be properly punished'?"

Raskin nodded. "I've been thinking about that too. All I can imagine is that none of these bosses want to get on the wrong side of the government." He sighed. "Maybe they're worried that if anything more serious happened to us, they could be implicated just by employing us."

"Maybe they have links to the government themselves," Sid added.

Raskin looked at him, surprised. "That might also be true."

He wasn't sure what else to say about it, though—there was nothing they could change about the situation, after all. The conversation lulled, and for a while, Raskin did nothing but stare down the beer bottle, taking sips. He couldn't afford to drink silly amounts, especially not now. Mew, even beer is depressing me.

He only stirred again when Sid nudged his shoulder. "Everything okay, Rasky?" the quilava asked, leaning towards him, concerned.

Raskin felt his mouth quiver for a moment. "How can you ask that? Aren't you worried about… about what we're gonna do now? Neither of us have jobs, Sid! We got some settlement money, sure, but that won't last. I… I don't know what I'll do. I don't have any career to fall back on, no parents to rely on…"

"You have your work experience with the bank," Sid offered. "That has to count for something."

"If I wanted another shitty bank job, maybe," Raskin muttered. He pulled his ears down over his face, the feeling of despair in his chest rapidly rising again. "Sometimes, I dream of there just being…. somewhere else to go. Somewhere far from Deepden, where there isn't a police officer around every corner, and I don't spend every other waking second checking that I can still pay this month's rent."

He saw Sid frown in his periphery. "You mean like… the Wilderness?"

Raskin sighed. "That doesn't count."

"Well, where else? The land to the south is completely barren."

"I don't know, Sid. It was only a stupid dream."

They said nothing for a moment.

"Y'know, I was doing some thinking before you arrived," Sid said, sitting up. His tone of voice seemed far too upbeat for the situation. "And I guess that idea makes even more sense now."

"And what idea would that be?" Raskin snapped.

"Simple: we organise more fights!"

Raskin stared at him, stunned and horrified, but Sid only grinned back.

"Think about it, 'mon. We made 200 poké first time around, but it could have been at least double that. Double, split between us, would have been a week's worth of pay for us both! And think: what would happen if we organised two fights a week? Or even three? We'd be raking it in!"

"Sid, doing that stupid fight is why we're in this mess at all! Hell, it was my idea! I'm responsible for all of this."

"Don't say that," Sid said. He looked seriously at Raskin. "It was a brilliant idea, Rasky. Still is. You saw how well it went down."

"Because it was illegal!"

"Fine, then we'll just have to cover our tracks better than last time." A wry smile spread across Sid's mouth. "In theory, it should be safer now, since we don't have jobs to be taken away from us…"

"Don't be stupid—we still have tons of things to lose! We have the apartment. Our families. And besides, how would we organise all these fights? We don't possibly have the resources for that!"

That made Sid pause. The quilava stroked his head fur. Then his eyes suddenly lit up – his flame sacs even gave a brief spark. "Our redundancy pay! That's more than we'd ever be able to save up normally—there's our resources! It'll pay itself back faster than a pidgeot in flight if we can get this thing up and running."

Raskin fiddled with his paws. If he could ignore all the perilous implications of running more fights, Sid made good points. The first fight had been a sensational success on most levels. If, somehow, they were able to upscale the whole operation, get it running smoothly and regularly, keep the money flowing to him and Sid, and keep the cops well away…

Then he thought of his last meeting with Haikos, and his heart sank. His father would be mortified if he were listening to them now.

But there was also the matter of Haikos' impending freedom. Maybe, if he and Sid could pull off fights consistently, they would make enough to afford Haikos the time off he deserved. It didn't sound likely, sure, but neither did earning any greater money through regular jobs.

Raskin glanced up. Sid was still looking eagerly at him.

Right—think of how happy doing this would make Sid. He loved the first event so much. His friend's wellbeing mattered as much as anyone in his life. Particularly given how it had been lately.

"I'll… sleep on it," Raskin said finally.

"Great!" Sid beamed, then the smile faltered. "Uh—do you still have work tomorrow?"

"Until the end of the week."

"Oh, same as me."

They exchanged a look, and Raskin could tell that if Sid hadn't believed what he had said about their redundancies before, there was no doubt now.

"Well…" Sid scratched his head. "Goodnight, then."

----

What did it really mean, Raskin wondered, to 'sleep on' a thought? Did it imply that for any dilemma, a good night's sleep would make the answer magically jump out at you? Or did it mean, as was the case for him, that instead of sleeping you would merely spend all night mulling over the thought, to the point where you just wanted to give in to the difficult, but seemingly best decision?

Sid was already gone when he finally rose. That was fine—he could send the quilava a note should he need to. In fact, it was perhaps beneficial not to immediately fill Sid in on the idea he'd had. He could already hear the quilava's complaints in his head.

Once he had gotten ready for work, he quickly scrawled a different note and headed to the post office. After getting to the front of another absurdly long queue, he found himself face-to-face with the same sandshrew as the last time.

"Hello," Raskin began. "I've got a note here that—"

"Doesn't have an address," the sandshrew finished, eyeing the paper disdainfully.

"Well yes, that's what I need help with. I have a recipient in mind, but I don't know where she lives."

"Uh-huh," the sandshrew said. "You know her name?"

"Yes. Lyco."

"Species?"

"Lycanroc. The red-furred kind."

"So, N." The sandshrew wheeled her chair to the opposite side of her desk, where a shiny new computer sat. She typed something in, then waited a moment. Raskin watched her eyes narrow.

"You said 'Lyco'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She shook her head. "There's no one of that name in our records."

Raskin blinked at her. "There must be!"

The sandshrew shrugged, taking a sip from a coffee cup. "Take a look yourself if you want."

Raskin slipped through the gap in the counter, feeling increasingly conscious of the impatient queue's grumblings behind him. The computer screen showed a list of a handful of names: Percy Lycanroc-N, Luna Lycanroc-N, Pita Lycanroc-N…

But the 'shrew was right: Lyco was not amongst them. There didn't even seem to be a name that Lyco could be derived from.

"Could you search for rockruff?" Raskin asked. "Maybe she just Shifted recently."

The sandshrew eyed him suspiciously. "The search automatically factors in possible form changes. The only other thing I could do is search for her name specifically."

She typed 'Lyco' into a search bar. Again, it took an awkward few seconds for the machine to process the request. A Lyco did eventually appear, but it belonged to a litten. Then another to a zigzagoon. No other results came up.

Raskin felt exasperated. She built a house in the roughest part of civilisation, she knows way too much about fighting, her name isn't on any Deepden records… goddammit, who are you, Lyco?

"How much would it cost to send a letter to every lycanroc-N in your records?" he asked hopefully.

The sandshrew scoffed. "There's no way I can licence that."

"What? Why not?"

The sandshrew turned to him, her face suddenly serious. "Look, I don't know what your business with this lady is. But the fact that you don't know her name or address, yet would be willing to bother every other lycan in the city just in the hopes of passing on a message to her… it's more than a little fishy."

"Hey, it's not like I'm harassing her—" Raskin began, then stopped himself. A few 'mon near the front of the queue were looking at him suspiciously. The sandshrew's words were loud enough to be overheard.

Raskin took a deep breath. I've got enough to worry about already. "Okay," he said, with forced calmness. "Sorry for wasting your time." He strode away and out of the post office, not making any eye contact.

Great. What do I do now? Lyco was the best idea I had. I hope Sid's been thinking too, otherwise—

He suddenly became aware of a scent nearby. It came at him so strongly, and was so familiar, that it cut through every other part of his consciousness like a knife.

Heart racing, he spun his head around the busy street until he found the source. It wasn't what he expected. Sitting on the ground against the side of a building, a blanket full of holes and odd stitched colours half covering him, as well as a cardboard tray with a few coins strewn inside. The nidoran from Oldden.

Their eyes met at the same time. The nidoran instinctively jerked backwards in surprise, but then relaxed, even breaking out a wide grin.

"Hey, nickit!" he said. "Still achin' from when I bashed you up the other day?"

Raskin blinked. Hadn't this 'mon attacked him and Sid with barely a moment's thought? He had feared something similar again, as insane that would be on a high street in broad daylight. At least the 'mon had some sense about him, if only a little.

He still shuddered to think about what might have been had Lyco not burst to their rescue. The nidoran's horn had been one swipe away from piercing Sid with what looked like…

Lyco.

He regarded the nidoran, who still grinned, then stepped closer so he could keep his voice down.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

The nidoran looked deliberately at his coin tray, then back to the nickit with narrowed eyes. "What's it look like?"

Raskin gritted his teeth. "I mean, you shouldn't be here! What if an officer finds you?"

The nidoran shrugged. "They don't patrol this part 'till later. What d'you care, anyway?"

Enough beating around the bush, then, Raskin thought.

"Nidoran, I know this is sudden, but I need your help with something."

The nidoran stared at him for a moment, then erupted into laughter—a scratchy, shrill noise that almost made Raskin's head throb. This did draw the glances of passers-by, much to his irritation.

"What could I possibly do for ya, little nickit?" the nidoran said.

Raskin ignored the taunt in his tone. "I need to find Lyco," he said. The nidoran's smile dropped immediately at her name, which made Raskin stumble for a moment. "But... I don't know how. And I don't want to spend days waiting hopefully in Oldden for her. You know her, right? Do you have any idea where she lives?"

"I doubt I'll ever find that out," the nidoran said, suddenly serious, "but I do know where she works."

"That could do."

"But you got another thing comin' if you expect that information for free," the nidoran added, smiling wryly. "'Specially if she's as important to you as it seems."

Raskin sighed. Money, that great leveller. "How much do you want?"

The nidoran thought for a second. "Twenty."

"Twenty?" Raskin barely managed to contain his fury and disbelief. I could get a ride anywhere in the city for two, you bastard! "No way."

The nidoran shrugged. "Take it or leave it."

Raskin stared at him. He was supposed to negotiate with that? "Ten," he said reluctantly.

"Fifteen," the nidoran replied.

"Twelve."

"Fifteen, and I'll even walk ya there myself," the nidoran said, looking more smug than ever.

Is that even a good thing? Raskin frowned. No, that's short-sighted of me. Knowing Lyco, she'll still be somewhere unexpected. At least if this guy's with us, I can hold him to finding her.

Fifteen poké… it went against every frugal fibre of his being. But there seemed little choice if he wanted Lyco's help.

"Fine."

"Great!" the nidoran beamed. "How 'bout I take you there now?"

"I need to head to work. I was planning on finding her afterwards."

"I see. Well, I can meet ya there. Where 'bouts you work?"

Raskin hesitated. That would make life easier, he supposed. "The bank on Amity Street."

"Ooooh, posh," the nidoran said. "I'll see ya when you're out, then. Have fun!"

Raskin nodded. He noticed then that the nidoran's paw was still extended towards him, expectant, and he scowled. "I'll pay you when we find her, and nothing before."

----

Eight and a half hours later, Raskin stepped out of the bank. At times like these, he cursed his smallness. The street was as crowded as ever on a weekday evening, and standing on the bank's steps for visibility wasn't an option, given it wouldn't close for another hour.

He eventually decided on a nook in-between the bank and an office block next door that loomed just as tall. He was surprised to see Sid already waiting there.

"Evening," Sid said with a smile. "How was work? What's this plan you've got lined up for us?"

"Well…" Raskin began, then changed his mind. "Sorry, shouldn't you still be at work?"

Sid grinned. "Yeeeah, I should… but I snuck off when the supervisors weren't around. I'm leaving in four days—I don't need to play by their rules anymore, y'know?"

Raskin shut his eyes in frustration. "Yes, you do. We're relying on this redundancy money. Don't give your bosses any excuse to take that away."

Sid huffed. "It's only an hour of work, dude, relax. Anyway, you wanna let me in on this plan? I knew you would come round to my idea," he added, giving the nickit a friendly nudge.

Before Raskin could find the best way to explain, the nidoran's scent found his nostrils again, piercing through the more innocuous odours of passers-by. Judging by the rapid movements around Sid's muzzle, he had noticed it too.

The nidoran came into view a moment later, weaving through the street towards them.

"Rasky," Sid muttered, a low growl brewing in his throat as he faced the nidoran. "What is he doing here?"

"He's going to take us to Lyco," Raskin said.

"Lyco?!" Sid's voice could hardly reach a higher pitch. "Rasky, what… what the hell have you been planning today?"

"Just… trust me," Raskin said, hoping his calmness would diffuse over to the quilava. "I've thought a lot about how to make these fights a reality, and it seemed Lyco was the best place to start."

Sid still looked sceptical, but didn't pester any further for now.

The nidoran finally stood in front of them. He now wore a reedy shoulder bag, though the strap was ill-fitting, making it swing like a pendulum against his side. His smile was as wide as Raskin's ears.

"Evenin'," he nodded. "Good to see ya again, mister smokey-cough."

Sid, to his credit, didn't fall for the bait. "At least I can afford a bath more than once a year," he snapped.

That wiped some of the smugness of the nidoran's face. "Whatever," he shrugged. "Let's get on with it, eh? This walk'll take a while."

For a while, Raskin and Sid followed the 'mon in silence. The nidoran seemed to lead them exclusively through the darkest, narrowest paths available, regardless of their efficiency. Raskin struggled to locate where they were going, but from the receding noise it had to be somewhere on the city's outskirts.

"Say, I never introduced myself," the nidoran said after a while. "Name's Tyler."

"Sid," the quilava said, adding venomously, "Now we're acquainted, maybe you could explain why you attacked Raskin in Oldden."

Tyler chuckled. "You're still upset about that?"

"Still? When should I stop?"

Tyler stopped, the first time all journey, and turned to them. His smile was replaced with a grim snarl—he looked much more like the 'mon Raskin knew from that day.

"Look, mate, I don't know what pampered, fancy fucking district of this city you grew up in," he spat. "But Oldden don't play by those rules. If two 'mon have a disagreement, they don't go to the authority. Fighting is the authority."

"We didn't have a disagreement, though," Raskin pointed out. "I just opened the door."

That made Tyler falter, and Raskin added, "It wasn't even your property we walked into. What were you doing in Lyco's house, anyway?"

Tyler scowled at him for a moment, then turned away. "It can get real cold in Oldden," he muttered. "Lyco's house is the nicest place to sleep. And she don't normally show up until the evening."

He started walking again. The path they were on now had no cover, but was also almost deserted, with only the occasional ride pokémon or purposeful-looking civilian. It was dustier here, too. Everything had gained a slight yellow hue.

Raskin was not surprised by Tyler's answer. He still had some curiosities, though, and doubted he would ever get a better chance than this to find answers. He just hoped Sid didn't get too annoyed with him for conversing with the enemy.

"Tyler, why do you live in Oldden? Why does anyone?"

Tyler snorted. "You mean, instead of getting thrown in one of them housing blocks in exchange for community service?"

"Right. I mean, at least there you get food, a roof over your head—"

"Access to a shower," Sid added.

"…and that."

"Yeah, but for what?" Tyler said. "There's nothing enjoyable about that life. Yer nothing more than a slave to the government."

"And starving out in Oldden is better?"

"Yes!" Tyler snapped. He stopped, a growl rising in his throat. Then he shook his head. "I dunno… I like the culture of Oldden. The fights for good ground. The scavenging for food…"

He trailed off, his voice uncertain.

Raskin felt like he understood, though. "Perhaps you should stick around when we meet Lyco, Tyler. You might be interested in what I want to talk about."

Raskin felt Sid's eyes burn into him, as if they could set on fire like his flame sacs. But Tyler just glanced back at him, unable to hide his surprise. "Why would I be interested?"

"It involves lots of fighting."

Tyler chuckled. "It does? Maybe yer right. Oh—we're here, by the way."

Raskin suddenly jerked his head up to look around. He'd almost forgotten what they were walking for.

About 20 metres ahead of them, the ground seemed to simply fall off a cliff. The road ended on this corner, and the only building in sight was a concrete booth at the cliff's edge, which a geodude sat inside. As they walked closer, Raskin could make out little moving dots far below. Faint sounds of banging and clanging drifted up to them.

He felt like slapping himself. A mine. Of course a lycanroc works at a mine!

"So, mate," Tyler said casually, "how 'bout that money you owe?"

"Not yet," Raskin replied. "I can't see Lyco from here. Can you?"

Tyler hmphed, then made his way towards the geodude.

They were told the day shift would finish shortly, but as it 'wasn't recommended' for people to wait outside the mine like they were, Raskin paid two poké for them to get the lift underground. The nickit wondered if this day could possibly get any more needlessly expensive.

The lift opened to reveal a huge room carved in the rock. Several rows of benches—their heights varied to account for different sized species—stretched almost endlessly in front of them. One wall was crammed with lockers, while the opposite side had stacks of trays and bowls that suggested a cafeteria, though the area was vacated now.

Tyler whistled in admiration. "Damn. This ain't half bad."

"Let's just find Lyco before we admire the mining industry," Raskin said, nudging the nidoran onwards.

The room ended with a glass wall, a huge window into the mines, which were much closer at this level. Raskin leant against the glass with his front paws and peered over the edge. The various groups of pokémon there must have numbered in the hundreds. Some were surveying the ground, muzzles pressed up against the rock surface. Others—it looked like mostly steel pokémon—were sorting through vast piles of rubble, taking and discarding rocks in no clear pattern.

"There!" Sid said, pointing. "She's getting out of that machine!"

Raskin followed his directions, then his heart jumped a little as he found the lycanroc. Lyco was indeed stepping down from one of the enormous, motorised vehicles that picked up chunks of rock in its scooped mouth. He couldn't help wondering, who even thought up a monster like that?

As she got out, a screeching whistle sounded through the glass. Every other worker stopped, some wincing, and started to leave their stations. Lyco had apparently foreseen this, being one of the first to get on the lifts taking them back to the glass doors. That meant she had a clear view of the 'mon at the window.

Her eyes shot open, then narrowed, then burned with fury.

She lurched towards the doors, shoving them open before anyone else. "What are you doing here?" she demanded. She turned on Tyler. "How did you know where I worked?"

Tyler laughed, a little more nervous than he seemed to intend. "Knowledge is power, y'know."

"Oh, shut up." Lyco eyed Raskin next. He noticed the coating of dust on her fur that she seemed to have no interest in clearing. "Was this your idea?"

"Well, I wanted to talk with you," Raskin said, trying to keep his voice steady. "But I didn't know how to find you, given you said you didn't… live in Oldden."

"Well, you've found me now. What do you want?"

There was now a steady stream of people leaving the mines, many of whom watched the group of them as they went by with considerable interest. Raskin felt uneasy. "Is there anywhere more private we can go than here?"

Lyco thought for a second. "Yes, but you'd better not have a whole presentation for me. We shouldn't stick around past closing time."

"We'll be quick about it," Raskin agreed.

Lyco led them to the cafeteria side of the room, pressed some buttons on a keypad, opening the door beside it, and Raskin found himself in a deserted kitchen.

Lyco leant against the nearest work surface, arms folded. "Here we are."

Raskin felt awfully small standing next to her and Sid, with the quilava on two legs to meet her at almost head height. He located a low wooden stool in the corner of the room and dragged it over until he could sit opposite them. That was better.

"In short," he began. "Sid and I want to run more fights. I think there was more than enough interest from our first one to make it sustainable, from a business sense."

Lyco raised an eyelid. "And…you want my help?"

"Right! I…" Raskin faltered, feeling his face heat up. Stop that! he told himself angrily—like that would do much good. "Well, I know I don't really know you, Lyco, and I'm sorry for what happened to your house—well, not your house, but—"

"Holy shit, spit it out already."

"You know stuff!" Raskin spluttered. "I mean, we were clueless about setting up a fighting space, but you knew what to do. And you actually… can fight, or at least know more about it. We need someone with that kind of knowledge to make sure fights run correctly." He paused. "Plus, given how much time you spend in Oldden, I hoped that you might know some… other spaces that we could host from."

Lyco nodded slowly.

This seems promising, Raskin thought. She hasn't told me to shut up for about a minute.

"What's changed from last week?" she said. "You never said anything about holding another fight then."

Raskin and Sid exchanged a glance. "We lost our jobs," Raskin said. "Or, we will be. We're getting made redundant, and thought that the money from that could go towards… a more permanent location, say. Maybe some extra measures that would make it a better experience for everyone."

"You both lost your jobs?" Lyco said. "At the same time?"

"I think word of what we organised leaked to our bosses."

Lyco's eyes widened. "Gods. That was all it took..." She paused, shaking her head. "You must realise then, that this sort of thing isn't taken lightly by the police. If you're caught, caught properly, then—"

"Yes, we know that," Raskin said. "We knew that the first time around."

"Then why exactly are you willing to put everything you've got on the line again? Don't say it's just money, because I don't believe that."

Raskin hesitated, and Sid spoke up before he could. "Because it made a difference to people," the quilava said. "I was only watching, but coming out of Oldden that night, I felt happier than I had in weeks."

"Chaka too," Raskin said. "The raticate," he added at Lyco's look of confusion. "Before that fight, I felt like he had a genuine animosity for Aster. But afterwards, they looked like old friends. It was like he'd just needed to let off some steam."

"And hell, I bet there's lots of pokémon that felt—or feel—the same!" Sid chimed in, eyes glowing. "Rasky and I have gotten so many requests since that night from 'mon who want to fight. We probably have enough in the pipeline already to supply this fighting space for weeks."

Lyco didn't respond immediately. She looked at the floor, one paw across her mouth in thought. When she took it away, Raskin thought he could see a flicker of a smile.

"I'm glad that I don't have to argue this point with you," she said. "It is a travesty that we aren't free to fight in this city. They teach you in school that our ancestors that fought day and night, whether in the wild or for trainers, were some kind of lesser beings to us now. It's all bullshit. Fighting is what we are as pokémon. Taking it away is like taking away our ability to speak, or mate. It's just pokémon nowadays don't realise that."

Raskin stared at her, his heart lifting with hope. He wasn't sure he could feel quite as strongly as she did, but the intensity of her words was encouraging. "You want to help us, then?"

"Yes. However." Lyco shook her mane back, creating a faint cloud of rock dust that forced some coughs out of Raskin. "It's only fair that, if we're together on this, I should make a few demands of you two."

Raskin's smile wavered. "Like what?"

"Firstly, that you're committed. I'm not willing to waste my time with you if you run a couple of fights, then, say, an enticing job opportunity comes up and you decide that oh, this fight thing was fun, but it's time to get a real job again. No passivity. We will have to work our asses off if this is to succeed."

"Will we?" Sid asked. "Aren't we just… y'know, holding fights?"

"And that brings me to my other point," Lyco said. "Your plan is to hold, what, a fight or two every session? And have one session a week?"

"Maybe two," Sid said.

"Whatever. But look, if you truly believe in the value of fighting, I think you'll agree that that's the wrong approach. Holding one or two fights at a time limits everyone else's involvement. Make it so that this fight… club, fight society, whatever you wanna call it, is where anyone can fight. Someone new turns up? They have to fight. Someone had a shit day at work? They have to fight. In fact, I'd say that it's a failure if a single pokémon turns up and goes home without fighting."

Lyco seemed to have transformed before their eyes. She was animated, paws gesturing and slamming together every time she mentioned fighting, her eyes alive with excitement. Raskin was amazed. He had not anticipated such radical-sounding ideas from her—if anything, he'd expected the opposite. Still, he couldn't help feeling a little doubtful.

"That all sounds… great, but won't it get out of control?" he said. "We saw what happened with the last fight—that was just one."

"That got out of control because emotions flared," Lyco stated. "Nothing a few ground rules wouldn't put a stop to."

Raskin frowned. "Really?"

Lyco rolled her eyes. "You said yourself that I know about fighting."

Sid gave Raskin a sideways glance. "She's got you there."

"Sid!" Raskin said. He turned back to Lyco. "Fine. Then what about keeping this thing sustainable? If all the pokémon are fighting every time they go to a meetup, won't they get bored after a while?"

"No!" Lyco snapped, so suddenly that Raskin almost fell off his stool. "Fighting is not like reading the same book, or listening to the same song. Your opponents change. Your abilities improve. You learn things about yourself. You don't get bored."

The room went silent.

"Can y'all just… stop a second?"

Raskin looked down. Tyler had spoken up for the first time. Judging by the look in his eyes, the nidoran was utterly bewildered.

"How is it that you and you," Tyler said, jabbing a paw at Sid and then Raskin, "are organising some… fighting enterprise, when neither of yous know the first thing about it? I beat both your asses in Oldden!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, nido," Lyco said, flicking her mane disdainfully. "You're the one still leeching off others' property, and who can hardly string a sentence together."

Raskin half-expected Tyler to leap up at Lyco in attack for that, or at least snap something back at her. But he merely gave her a vengeful look, then dropped his head.

"However," Lyco added, glancing back at Raskin, "the hatchling makes a good point. You'd better be prepared to fight too. Are you prepared?"

"Of course!" Sid said, almost dutifully. "I look forward to it!"

Lyco raised an eyelid at Raskin, who nodded quickly. "Yeah."

Her gaze lingered a moment longer, before going back to Tyler. "What's he still doing here, anyway?"

"I thought we might want his help," Raskin said. "Could attract a few more pokémon from around Oldden."

Lyco's eyes narrowed. "I can take care of Oldden, should we need to… advertise. In fact, Tyler—" She gestured to the door. "You can leave now. I'll find you if I want you involved with anything." Her coldness of tone suggested that was highly unlikely.

"I…" Tyler huffed, sounding frustrated. "Fine then."

He shuffled a couple of steps, then suddenly spun back around. "You still haven't paid me!" he barked, eyes fixed on Raskin.

With a sigh, Raskin hopped down from the stool and finally passed over the fifteen poké. As soon as Tyler had stuffed the coins in his shoulder bag, he practically bolted out of the door.

"Good thing it doesn't lock from this side," Lyco remarked, watching him. She turned to Raskin. "Meet me at the Founding Oak tomorrow evening. We can start laying things out then. Now's not the time or place."

"Oh—okay," Raskin said. "You already have some ideas, then?"

Lyco hummed, making her own way to the door. "A few."

They got a few disapproving glances from cleaners in the mining building as they left, but thankfully nothing more. Raskin tried to keep as straight a face as Lyco, both to prevent scowls on her part, and to avoid any 'mon asking them awkward questions.

Inside, though, his heart was racing. And when he exchanged glances with Sid, he knew he was thinking the same thing. Lyco's not messing around. We're not messing around. Mew, this is actually happening...
 

TheGOAT

🗿
Location
Houston, Texas
Pronouns
Him/his
Partners
  1. serperior
  2. alolatales-goat
Chapter 5: Digging

Raskin stared at Sid. "You lost your job?"

Sid frowned at him. "Yeah. Why do you sound so confused?"

"I mean—um, I'm sorry." The nickit sat down on the other side of the sofa. They didn't have any other furniture to choose from, other than the two rickety chairs at the tiny kitchen table. "How did it happen?"

"It was pretty weird, really," Sid muttered. "I was going about my usual work, when our supervisor came over and said Sceptile wanted to see me. I've only met with the boss like, twice, in all the years I've been there. We sat down in her office, and firstly she thanked me for all the work I'd done on her watch… which already made me a bit suspicious. Then she said that my sector is going to start testing out some new kinda machines soon, and if it goes well, we won't need as many manual workers."

"Then what? She said you were one of the least productive workers, or something like that?"

Sid raised an eyebrow. "Pretty much exactly. How'd you guess?"

Raskin swore under his breath. I knew it.

"I don't understand it though," Sid went on, his voice slowly rising in pitch. "Sure, I don't enjoy the work, but I never slack off while I'm on the clock! There's no way I'm the least productive—I don't have to take as many water breaks as the non-fires, for starters!"

"Sid, I think I know what's going on," Raskin said. "Listen."

He briefly explained his own encounter with Pangoro.

"What?!" Sid yelped the moment Raskin reached the crux of their meeting. "You're being made redundant too? How can that be?"

Raskin sighed, looking at the floor. There suddenly felt like a huge weight on his shoulders. "Let me just… get a beer," he said, getting up. "You want one?"

"Uh… yeah, alright."

Raskin carried a bottle in each paw, walking in his bipedal stance before collapsing back on the sofa. Well, he wished he could collapse on it. The cheap material was barely softer than the wooden floor beneath it.

He took a long gulp from his bottle, and took a moment more to compose himself, welcoming the little bit of warmth in his stomach that the alcohol provided. "I don't think we were careful enough in organising the fight, Sid," he said at last. "Word must have gotten out somehow that we were involved in something illegal, and the people in power decided from that that they couldn't employ us anymore."

Sid took a moment to digest this. "Are you… are you sure?" he said slowly. "I mean, couldn't this timing just be a crazy coincidence?"

"Maybe it could, but it isn't," Raskin said firmly. "Look, neither of us were fired, only made redundant. Why? Because there was no hard evidence to fire us with, only rumours. Neither of the reasonings given for firing us made much sense, either—because they were essentially made up on the fly to cover for the flimsy actual reasoning."

Sid's face screwed up. "I still don't understand why they'd have to let us go. Wouldn't it be more reasonable to pull us to one side and say, 'hey, I've been hearing these rumours about you, don't do anything like it again or you'll be properly punished'?"

Raskin nodded. "I've been thinking about that too. All I can imagine is that none of these bosses want to get on the wrong side of the government." He sighed. "Maybe they're worried that if anything more serious happened to us, they could be implicated just by employing us."

"Maybe they have links to the government themselves," Sid added.

Raskin looked at him, surprised. "That might also be true."

He wasn't sure what else to say about it, though—there was nothing they could change about the situation, after all. The conversation lulled, and for a while, Raskin did nothing but stare down the beer bottle, taking sips. He couldn't afford to drink silly amounts, especially not now. Mew, even beer is depressing me.

He only stirred again when Sid nudged his shoulder. "Everything okay, Rasky?" the quilava asked, leaning towards him, concerned.

Raskin felt his mouth quiver for a moment. "How can you ask that? Aren't you worried about… about what we're gonna do now? Neither of us have jobs, Sid! We got some settlement money, sure, but that won't last. I… I don't know what I'll do. I don't have any career to fall back on, no parents to rely on…"

"You have your work experience with the bank," Sid offered. "That has to count for something."

"If I wanted another shitty bank job, maybe," Raskin muttered. He pulled his ears down over his face, the feeling of despair in his chest rapidly rising again. "Sometimes, I dream of there just being…. somewhere else to go. Somewhere far from Deepden, where there isn't a police officer around every corner, and I don't spend every other waking second checking that I can still pay this month's rent."

He saw Sid frown in his periphery. "You mean like… the Wilderness?"

Raskin sighed. "That doesn't count."

"Well, where else? The land to the south is completely barren."

"I don't know, Sid. It was only a stupid dream."

They said nothing for a moment.

"Y'know, I was doing some thinking before you arrived," Sid said, sitting up. His tone of voice seemed far too upbeat for the situation. "And I guess that idea makes even more sense now."

"And what idea would that be?" Raskin snapped.

"Simple: we organise more fights!"

Raskin stared at him, stunned and horrified, but Sid only grinned back.

"Think about it, 'mon. We made 200 poké first time around, but it could have been at least double that. Double, split between us, would have been a week's worth of pay for us both! And think: what would happen if we organised two fights a week? Or even three? We'd be raking it in!"

"Sid, doing that stupid fight is why we're in this mess at all! Hell, it was my idea! I'm responsible for all of this."

"Don't say that," Sid said. He looked seriously at Raskin. "It was a brilliant idea, Rasky. Still is. You saw how well it went down."

"Because it was illegal!"

"Fine, then we'll just have to cover our tracks better than last time." A wry smile spread across Sid's mouth. "In theory, it should be safer now, since we don't have jobs to be taken away from us…"

"Don't be stupid—we still have tons of things to lose! We have the apartment. Our families. And besides, how would we organise all these fights? We don't possibly have the resources for that!"

That made Sid pause. The quilava stroked his head fur. Then his eyes suddenly lit up – his flame sacs even gave a brief spark. "Our redundancy pay! That's more than we'd ever be able to save up normally—there's our resources! It'll pay itself back faster than a pidgeot in flight if we can get this thing up and running."

Raskin fiddled with his paws. If he could ignore all the perilous implications of running more fights, Sid made good points. The first fight had been a sensational success on most levels. If, somehow, they were able to upscale the whole operation, get it running smoothly and regularly, keep the money flowing to him and Sid, and keep the cops well away…

Then he thought of his last meeting with Haikos, and his heart sank. His father would be mortified if he were listening to them now.

But there was also the matter of Haikos' impending freedom. Maybe, if he and Sid could pull off fights consistently, they would make enough to afford Haikos the time off he deserved. It didn't sound likely, sure, but neither did earning any greater money through regular jobs.

Raskin glanced up. Sid was still looking eagerly at him.

Right—think of how happy doing this would make Sid. He loved the first event so much. His friend's wellbeing mattered as much as anyone in his life. Particularly given how it had been lately.

"I'll… sleep on it," Raskin said finally.

"Great!" Sid beamed, then the smile faltered. "Uh—do you still have work tomorrow?"

"Until the end of the week."

"Oh, same as me."

They exchanged a look, and Raskin could tell that if Sid hadn't believed what he had said about their redundancies before, there was no doubt now.

"Well…" Sid scratched his head. "Goodnight, then."

----

What did it really mean, Raskin wondered, to 'sleep on' a thought? Did it imply that for any dilemma, a good night's sleep would make the answer magically jump out at you? Or did it mean, as was the case for him, that instead of sleeping you would merely spend all night mulling over the thought, to the point where you just wanted to give in to the difficult, but seemingly best decision?

Sid was already gone when he finally rose. That was fine—he could send the quilava a note should he need to. In fact, it was perhaps beneficial not to immediately fill Sid in on the idea he'd had. He could already hear the quilava's complaints in his head.

Once he had gotten ready for work, he quickly scrawled a different note and headed to the post office. After getting to the front of another absurdly long queue, he found himself face-to-face with the same sandshrew as the last time.

"Hello," Raskin began. "I've got a note here that—"

"Doesn't have an address," the sandshrew finished, eyeing the paper disdainfully.

"Well yes, that's what I need help with. I have a recipient in mind, but I don't know where she lives."

"Uh-huh," the sandshrew said. "You know her name?"

"Yes. Lyco."

"Species?"

"Lycanroc. The red-furred kind."

"So, N." The sandshrew wheeled her chair to the opposite side of her desk, where a shiny new computer sat. She typed something in, then waited a moment. Raskin watched her eyes narrow.

"You said 'Lyco'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She shook her head. "There's no one of that name in our records."

Raskin blinked at her. "There must be!"

The sandshrew shrugged, taking a sip from a coffee cup. "Take a look yourself if you want."

Raskin slipped through the gap in the counter, feeling increasingly conscious of the impatient queue's grumblings behind him. The computer screen showed a list of a handful of names: Percy Lycanroc-N, Luna Lycanroc-N, Pita Lycanroc-N…

But the 'shrew was right: Lyco was not amongst them. There didn't even seem to be a name that Lyco could be derived from.

"Could you search for rockruff?" Raskin asked. "Maybe she just Shifted recently."

The sandshrew eyed him suspiciously. "The search automatically factors in possible form changes. The only other thing I could do is search for her name specifically."

She typed 'Lyco' into a search bar. Again, it took an awkward few seconds for the machine to process the request. A Lyco did eventually appear, but it belonged to a litten. Then another to a zigzagoon. No other results came up.

Raskin felt exasperated. She built a house in the roughest part of civilisation, she knows way too much about fighting, her name isn't on any Deepden records… goddammit, who are you, Lyco?

"How much would it cost to send a letter to every lycanroc-N in your records?" he asked hopefully.

The sandshrew scoffed. "There's no way I can licence that."

"What? Why not?"

The sandshrew turned to him, her face suddenly serious. "Look, I don't know what your business with this lady is. But the fact that you don't know her name or address, yet would be willing to bother every other lycan in the city just in the hopes of passing on a message to her… it's more than a little fishy."

"Hey, it's not like I'm harassing her—" Raskin began, then stopped himself. A few 'mon near the front of the queue were looking at him suspiciously. The sandshrew's words were loud enough to be overheard.

Raskin took a deep breath. I've got enough to worry about already. "Okay," he said, with forced calmness. "Sorry for wasting your time." He strode away and out of the post office, not making any eye contact.

Great. What do I do now? Lyco was the best idea I had. I hope Sid's been thinking too, otherwise—

He suddenly became aware of a scent nearby. It came at him so strongly, and was so familiar, that it cut through every other part of his consciousness like a knife.

Heart racing, he spun his head around the busy street until he found the source. It wasn't what he expected. Sitting on the ground against the side of a building, a blanket full of holes and odd stitched colours half covering him, as well as a cardboard tray with a few coins strewn inside. The nidoran from Oldden.

Their eyes met at the same time. The nidoran instinctively jerked backwards in surprise, but then relaxed, even breaking out a wide grin.

"Hey, nickit!" he said. "Still achin' from when I bashed you up the other day?"

Raskin blinked. Hadn't this 'mon attacked him and Sid with barely a moment's thought? He had feared something similar again, as insane that would be on a high street in broad daylight. At least the 'mon had some sense about him, if only a little.

He still shuddered to think about what might have been had Lyco not burst to their rescue. The nidoran's horn had been one swipe away from piercing Sid with what looked like…

Lyco.

He regarded the nidoran, who still grinned, then stepped closer so he could keep his voice down.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

The nidoran looked deliberately at his coin tray, then back to the nickit with narrowed eyes. "What's it look like?"

Raskin gritted his teeth. "I mean, you shouldn't be here! What if an officer finds you?"

The nidoran shrugged. "They don't patrol this part 'till later. What d'you care, anyway?"

Enough beating around the bush, then, Raskin thought.

"Nidoran, I know this is sudden, but I need your help with something."

The nidoran stared at him for a moment, then erupted into laughter—a scratchy, shrill noise that almost made Raskin's head throb. This did draw the glances of passers-by, much to his irritation.

"What could I possibly do for ya, little nickit?" the nidoran said.

Raskin ignored the taunt in his tone. "I need to find Lyco," he said. The nidoran's smile dropped immediately at her name, which made Raskin stumble for a moment. "But... I don't know how. And I don't want to spend days waiting hopefully in Oldden for her. You know her, right? Do you have any idea where she lives?"

"I doubt I'll ever find that out," the nidoran said, suddenly serious, "but I do know where she works."

"That could do."

"But you got another thing comin' if you expect that information for free," the nidoran added, smiling wryly. "'Specially if she's as important to you as it seems."

Raskin sighed. Money, that great leveller. "How much do you want?"

The nidoran thought for a second. "Twenty."

"Twenty?" Raskin barely managed to contain his fury and disbelief. I could get a ride anywhere in the city for two, you bastard! "No way."

The nidoran shrugged. "Take it or leave it."

Raskin stared at him. He was supposed to negotiate with that? "Ten," he said reluctantly.

"Fifteen," the nidoran replied.

"Twelve."

"Fifteen, and I'll even walk ya there myself," the nidoran said, looking more smug than ever.

Is that even a good thing? Raskin frowned. No, that's short-sighted of me. Knowing Lyco, she'll still be somewhere unexpected. At least if this guy's with us, I can hold him to finding her.

Fifteen poké… it went against every frugal fibre of his being. But there seemed little choice if he wanted Lyco's help.

"Fine."

"Great!" the nidoran beamed. "How 'bout I take you there now?"

"I need to head to work. I was planning on finding her afterwards."

"I see. Well, I can meet ya there. Where 'bouts you work?"

Raskin hesitated. That would make life easier, he supposed. "The bank on Amity Street."

"Ooooh, posh," the nidoran said. "I'll see ya when you're out, then. Have fun!"

Raskin nodded. He noticed then that the nidoran's paw was still extended towards him, expectant, and he scowled. "I'll pay you when we find her, and nothing before."

----

Eight and a half hours later, Raskin stepped out of the bank. At times like these, he cursed his smallness. The street was as crowded as ever on a weekday evening, and standing on the bank's steps for visibility wasn't an option, given it wouldn't close for another hour.

He eventually decided on a nook in-between the bank and an office block next door that loomed just as tall. He was surprised to see Sid already waiting there.

"Evening," Sid said with a smile. "How was work? What's this plan you've got lined up for us?"

"Well…" Raskin began, then changed his mind. "Sorry, shouldn't you still be at work?"

Sid grinned. "Yeeeah, I should… but I snuck off when the supervisors weren't around. I'm leaving in four days—I don't need to play by their rules anymore, y'know?"

Raskin shut his eyes in frustration. "Yes, you do. We're relying on this redundancy money. Don't give your bosses any excuse to take that away."

Sid huffed. "It's only an hour of work, dude, relax. Anyway, you wanna let me in on this plan? I knew you would come round to my idea," he added, giving the nickit a friendly nudge.

Before Raskin could find the best way to explain, the nidoran's scent found his nostrils again, piercing through the more innocuous odours of passers-by. Judging by the rapid movements around Sid's muzzle, he had noticed it too.

The nidoran came into view a moment later, weaving through the street towards them.

"Rasky," Sid muttered, a low growl brewing in his throat as he faced the nidoran. "What is he doing here?"

"He's going to take us to Lyco," Raskin said.

"Lyco?!" Sid's voice could hardly reach a higher pitch. "Rasky, what… what the hell have you been planning today?"

"Just… trust me," Raskin said, hoping his calmness would diffuse over to the quilava. "I've thought a lot about how to make these fights a reality, and it seemed Lyco was the best place to start."

Sid still looked sceptical, but didn't pester any further for now.

The nidoran finally stood in front of them. He now wore a reedy shoulder bag, though the strap was ill-fitting, making it swing like a pendulum against his side. His smile was as wide as Raskin's ears.

"Evenin'," he nodded. "Good to see ya again, mister smokey-cough."

Sid, to his credit, didn't fall for the bait. "At least I can afford a bath more than once a year," he snapped.

That wiped some of the smugness of the nidoran's face. "Whatever," he shrugged. "Let's get on with it, eh? This walk'll take a while."

For a while, Raskin and Sid followed the 'mon in silence. The nidoran seemed to lead them exclusively through the darkest, narrowest paths available, regardless of their efficiency. Raskin struggled to locate where they were going, but from the receding noise it had to be somewhere on the city's outskirts.

"Say, I never introduced myself," the nidoran said after a while. "Name's Tyler."

"Sid," the quilava said, adding venomously, "Now we're acquainted, maybe you could explain why you attacked Raskin in Oldden."

Tyler chuckled. "You're still upset about that?"

"Still? When should I stop?"

Tyler stopped, the first time all journey, and turned to them. His smile was replaced with a grim snarl—he looked much more like the 'mon Raskin knew from that day.

"Look, mate, I don't know what pampered, fancy fucking district of this city you grew up in," he spat. "But Oldden don't play by those rules. If two 'mon have a disagreement, they don't go to the authority. Fighting is the authority."

"We didn't have a disagreement, though," Raskin pointed out. "I just opened the door."

That made Tyler falter, and Raskin added, "It wasn't even your property we walked into. What were you doing in Lyco's house, anyway?"

Tyler scowled at him for a moment, then turned away. "It can get real cold in Oldden," he muttered. "Lyco's house is the nicest place to sleep. And she don't normally show up until the evening."

He started walking again. The path they were on now had no cover, but was also almost deserted, with only the occasional ride pokémon or purposeful-looking civilian. It was dustier here, too. Everything had gained a slight yellow hue.

Raskin was not surprised by Tyler's answer. He still had some curiosities, though, and doubted he would ever get a better chance than this to find answers. He just hoped Sid didn't get too annoyed with him for conversing with the enemy.

"Tyler, why do you live in Oldden? Why does anyone?"

Tyler snorted. "You mean, instead of getting thrown in one of them housing blocks in exchange for community service?"

"Right. I mean, at least there you get food, a roof over your head—"

"Access to a shower," Sid added.

"…and that."

"Yeah, but for what?" Tyler said. "There's nothing enjoyable about that life. Yer nothing more than a slave to the government."

"And starving out in Oldden is better?"

"Yes!" Tyler snapped. He stopped, a growl rising in his throat. Then he shook his head. "I dunno… I like the culture of Oldden. The fights for good ground. The scavenging for food…"

He trailed off, his voice uncertain.

Raskin felt like he understood, though. "Perhaps you should stick around when we meet Lyco, Tyler. You might be interested in what I want to talk about."

Raskin felt Sid's eyes burn into him, as if they could set on fire like his flame sacs. But Tyler just glanced back at him, unable to hide his surprise. "Why would I be interested?"

"It involves lots of fighting."

Tyler chuckled. "It does? Maybe yer right. Oh—we're here, by the way."

Raskin suddenly jerked his head up to look around. He'd almost forgotten what they were walking for.

About 20 metres ahead of them, the ground seemed to simply fall off a cliff. The road ended on this corner, and the only building in sight was a concrete booth at the cliff's edge, which a geodude sat inside. As they walked closer, Raskin could make out little moving dots far below. Faint sounds of banging and clanging drifted up to them.

He felt like slapping himself. A mine. Of course a lycanroc works at a mine!

"So, mate," Tyler said casually, "how 'bout that money you owe?"

"Not yet," Raskin replied. "I can't see Lyco from here. Can you?"

Tyler hmphed, then made his way towards the geodude.

They were told the day shift would finish shortly, but as it 'wasn't recommended' for people to wait outside the mine like they were, Raskin paid two poké for them to get the lift underground. The nickit wondered if this day could possibly get any more needlessly expensive.

The lift opened to reveal a huge room carved in the rock. Several rows of benches—their heights varied to account for different sized species—stretched almost endlessly in front of them. One wall was crammed with lockers, while the opposite side had stacks of trays and bowls that suggested a cafeteria, though the area was vacated now.

Tyler whistled in admiration. "Damn. This ain't half bad."

"Let's just find Lyco before we admire the mining industry," Raskin said, nudging the nidoran onwards.

The room ended with a glass wall, a huge window into the mines, which were much closer at this level. Raskin leant against the glass with his front paws and peered over the edge. The various groups of pokémon there must have numbered in the hundreds. Some were surveying the ground, muzzles pressed up against the rock surface. Others—it looked like mostly steel pokémon—were sorting through vast piles of rubble, taking and discarding rocks in no clear pattern.

"There!" Sid said, pointing. "She's getting out of that machine!"

Raskin followed his directions, then his heart jumped a little as he found the lycanroc. Lyco was indeed stepping down from one of the enormous, motorised vehicles that picked up chunks of rock in its scooped mouth. He couldn't help wondering, who even thought up a monster like that?

As she got out, a screeching whistle sounded through the glass. Every other worker stopped, some wincing, and started to leave their stations. Lyco had apparently foreseen this, being one of the first to get on the lifts taking them back to the glass doors. That meant she had a clear view of the 'mon at the window.

Her eyes shot open, then narrowed, then burned with fury.

She lurched towards the doors, shoving them open before anyone else. "What are you doing here?" she demanded. She turned on Tyler. "How did you know where I worked?"

Tyler laughed, a little more nervous than he seemed to intend. "Knowledge is power, y'know."

"Oh, shut up." Lyco eyed Raskin next. He noticed the coating of dust on her fur that she seemed to have no interest in clearing. "Was this your idea?"

"Well, I wanted to talk with you," Raskin said, trying to keep his voice steady. "But I didn't know how to find you, given you said you didn't… live in Oldden."

"Well, you've found me now. What do you want?"

There was now a steady stream of people leaving the mines, many of whom watched the group of them as they went by with considerable interest. Raskin felt uneasy. "Is there anywhere more private we can go than here?"

Lyco thought for a second. "Yes, but you'd better not have a whole presentation for me. We shouldn't stick around past closing time."

"We'll be quick about it," Raskin agreed.

Lyco led them to the cafeteria side of the room, pressed some buttons on a keypad, opening the door beside it, and Raskin found himself in a deserted kitchen.

Lyco leant against the nearest work surface, arms folded. "Here we are."

Raskin felt awfully small standing next to her and Sid, with the quilava on two legs to meet her at almost head height. He located a low wooden stool in the corner of the room and dragged it over until he could sit opposite them. That was better.

"In short," he began. "Sid and I want to run more fights. I think there was more than enough interest from our first one to make it sustainable, from a business sense."

Lyco raised an eyelid. "And…you want my help?"

"Right! I…" Raskin faltered, feeling his face heat up. Stop that! he told himself angrily—like that would do much good. "Well, I know I don't really know you, Lyco, and I'm sorry for what happened to your house—well, not your house, but—"

"Holy shit, spit it out already."

"You know stuff!" Raskin spluttered. "I mean, we were clueless about setting up a fighting space, but you knew what to do. And you actually… can fight, or at least know more about it. We need someone with that kind of knowledge to make sure fights run correctly." He paused. "Plus, given how much time you spend in Oldden, I hoped that you might know some… other spaces that we could host from."

Lyco nodded slowly.

This seems promising, Raskin thought. She hasn't told me to shut up for about a minute.

"What's changed from last week?" she said. "You never said anything about holding another fight then."

Raskin and Sid exchanged a glance. "We lost our jobs," Raskin said. "Or, we will be. We're getting made redundant, and thought that the money from that could go towards… a more permanent location, say. Maybe some extra measures that would make it a better experience for everyone."

"You both lost your jobs?" Lyco said. "At the same time?"

"I think word of what we organised leaked to our bosses."

Lyco's eyes widened. "Gods. That was all it took..." She paused, shaking her head. "You must realise then, that this sort of thing isn't taken lightly by the police. If you're caught, caught properly, then—"

"Yes, we know that," Raskin said. "We knew that the first time around."

"Then why exactly are you willing to put everything you've got on the line again? Don't say it's just money, because I don't believe that."

Raskin hesitated, and Sid spoke up before he could. "Because it made a difference to people," the quilava said. "I was only watching, but coming out of Oldden that night, I felt happier than I had in weeks."

"Chaka too," Raskin said. "The raticate," he added at Lyco's look of confusion. "Before that fight, I felt like he had a genuine animosity for Aster. But afterwards, they looked like old friends. It was like he'd just needed to let off some steam."

"And hell, I bet there's lots of pokémon that felt—or feel—the same!" Sid chimed in, eyes glowing. "Rasky and I have gotten so many requests since that night from 'mon who want to fight. We probably have enough in the pipeline already to supply this fighting space for weeks."

Lyco didn't respond immediately. She looked at the floor, one paw across her mouth in thought. When she took it away, Raskin thought he could see a flicker of a smile.

"I'm glad that I don't have to argue this point with you," she said. "It is a travesty that we aren't free to fight in this city. They teach you in school that our ancestors that fought day and night, whether in the wild or for trainers, were some kind of lesser beings to us now. It's all bullshit. Fighting is what we are as pokémon. Taking it away is like taking away our ability to speak, or mate. It's just pokémon nowadays don't realise that."

Raskin stared at her, his heart lifting with hope. He wasn't sure he could feel quite as strongly as she did, but the intensity of her words was encouraging. "You want to help us, then?"

"Yes. However." Lyco shook her mane back, creating a faint cloud of rock dust that forced some coughs out of Raskin. "It's only fair that, if we're together on this, I should make a few demands of you two."

Raskin's smile wavered. "Like what?"

"Firstly, that you're committed. I'm not willing to waste my time with you if you run a couple of fights, then, say, an enticing job opportunity comes up and you decide that oh, this fight thing was fun, but it's time to get a real job again. No passivity. We will have to work our asses off if this is to succeed."

"Will we?" Sid asked. "Aren't we just… y'know, holding fights?"

"And that brings me to my other point," Lyco said. "Your plan is to hold, what, a fight or two every session? And have one session a week?"

"Maybe two," Sid said.

"Whatever. But look, if you truly believe in the value of fighting, I think you'll agree that that's the wrong approach. Holding one or two fights at a time limits everyone else's involvement. Make it so that this fight… club, fight society, whatever you wanna call it, is where anyone can fight. Someone new turns up? They have to fight. Someone had a shit day at work? They have to fight. In fact, I'd say that it's a failure if a single pokémon turns up and goes home without fighting."

Lyco seemed to have transformed before their eyes. She was animated, paws gesturing and slamming together every time she mentioned fighting, her eyes alive with excitement. Raskin was amazed. He had not anticipated such radical-sounding ideas from her—if anything, he'd expected the opposite. Still, he couldn't help feeling a little doubtful.

"That all sounds… great, but won't it get out of control?" he said. "We saw what happened with the last fight—that was just one."

"That got out of control because emotions flared," Lyco stated. "Nothing a few ground rules wouldn't put a stop to."

Raskin frowned. "Really?"

Lyco rolled her eyes. "You said yourself that I know about fighting."

Sid gave Raskin a sideways glance. "She's got you there."

"Sid!" Raskin said. He turned back to Lyco. "Fine. Then what about keeping this thing sustainable? If all the pokémon are fighting every time they go to a meetup, won't they get bored after a while?"

"No!" Lyco snapped, so suddenly that Raskin almost fell off his stool. "Fighting is not like reading the same book, or listening to the same song. Your opponents change. Your abilities improve. You learn things about yourself. You don't get bored."

The room went silent.

"Can y'all just… stop a second?"

Raskin looked down. Tyler had spoken up for the first time. Judging by the look in his eyes, the nidoran was utterly bewildered.

"How is it that you and you," Tyler said, jabbing a paw at Sid and then Raskin, "are organising some… fighting enterprise, when neither of yous know the first thing about it? I beat both your asses in Oldden!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, nido," Lyco said, flicking her mane disdainfully. "You're the one still leeching off others' property, and who can hardly string a sentence together."

Raskin half-expected Tyler to leap up at Lyco in attack for that, or at least snap something back at her. But he merely gave her a vengeful look, then dropped his head.

"However," Lyco added, glancing back at Raskin, "the hatchling makes a good point. You'd better be prepared to fight too. Are you prepared?"

"Of course!" Sid said, almost dutifully. "I look forward to it!"

Lyco raised an eyelid at Raskin, who nodded quickly. "Yeah."

Her gaze lingered a moment longer, before going back to Tyler. "What's he still doing here, anyway?"

"I thought we might want his help," Raskin said. "Could attract a few more pokémon from around Oldden."

Lyco's eyes narrowed. "I can take care of Oldden, should we need to… advertise. In fact, Tyler—" She gestured to the door. "You can leave now. I'll find you if I want you involved with anything." Her coldness of tone suggested that was highly unlikely.

"I…" Tyler huffed, sounding frustrated. "Fine then."

He shuffled a couple of steps, then suddenly spun back around. "You still haven't paid me!" he barked, eyes fixed on Raskin.

With a sigh, Raskin hopped down from the stool and finally passed over the fifteen poké. As soon as Tyler had stuffed the coins in his shoulder bag, he practically bolted out of the door.

"Good thing it doesn't lock from this side," Lyco remarked, watching him. She turned to Raskin. "Meet me at the Founding Oak tomorrow evening. We can start laying things out then. Now's not the time or place."

"Oh—okay," Raskin said. "You already have some ideas, then?"

Lyco hummed, making her own way to the door. "A few."

They got a few disapproving glances from cleaners in the mining building as they left, but thankfully nothing more. Raskin tried to keep as straight a face as Lyco, both to prevent scowls on her part, and to avoid any 'mon asking them awkward questions.

Inside, though, his heart was racing. And when he exchanged glances with Sid, he knew he was thinking the same thing. Lyco's not messing around. We're not messing around. Mew, this is actually happening...


Chapter 5 Review

— “being made redundant” is strange phrasing to me. Is that British, by chance?

— Raskin and Sid each grabbing a beer when times are tough is a mood.

— I don’t know if this was intentional or not, but I love how Raskin immediately goes into explaining his theory (which is largely based on assumptions) about why they’re getting laid off right after he starts to drink alcohol. Gives me similar vibes to sitting down, sparking a joint, and theorycrafting about, I don’t know, the Illuminati or something. Makes Raskin even more relatable to me personally.

— Speaking of theorycrafting, I have a hunch that this absolutely intentional timing isn’t related to the fighting excursion at all. It seems deeper-rooted than that, perhaps having to do more with the backstories of the bosses themselves or perhaps another tangential storyline, such as Raskin’s father or that Skitty at work. Hmm.

— Speaking of theorycrafting again, I’ve noticed the careful detail placed into Raskin’s perception of money, negotiating prices down and fretting about spending only two Poké for the lift. When the eventual success arc happens with the fights, I anticipate either Raskin or Sid (or both?) will lose perspective on their money and scale up their standards by however many magnitudes of ten.

— Raskin is gonna get his asssss beattttt in this fighting club. Cannot wait lol.
 

Adamhuarts

Mew specialist
Partners
  1. mew-adam
  2. celebi-shiny
  3. roserade-adam
Returning to this fic to review the second chapter. So far I'd say I'm liking where this fic is going. It's cool to see that Raskin's workplace gives them sick days and everything and we also get to see them put their plan into motion.

There's not a whole lot for me to say about this chapter overall. I think it works as a set up chapter and I appreciate the effort in showing how they put the stage together instead of skipping to the part where they already got everything prepared and everything. That Nidoran attack sure highlights just how much the fighting capabilities of pokemon have dulled in this story's world. Even Lyco hurling a single rock took a lot out of her even though she seems much more capable than Sid and Raskin. I do wonder what ultimately led to their current society becoming the way it is. Is the industrial revolution to blame? Who knows?
 
Chapter 6: Blazing

cynsh

full-time quilava
Location
Deepden
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. quilava
Chapter 6: Blazing

Raskin stood outside the White Entei, rubbing his ears anxiously. He looked out across the cobbled street for the linoone they were waiting for. The final piece of their preparation.

The week had passed in a whirlwind. It was only on Monday morning, he reflected, that he had wanted nothing to do with another organised fight. It was only Tuesday when he had feared that Lyco would elude him for good, and with that would go any reasonable hopes of setting up a proper fight society. Now, the following Saturday, those struggles felt a long way away.

On Wednesday, he and Sid had met Lyco again, underneath the Founding Oak as they agreed. First they’d needed to find a venue, and Lyco had to his surprise asked them to pick their brains before suggesting anything herself.

“The criteria shouldn’t be too hard to fulfil,” she said. “We need somewhere with a room that’s hidden to onlookers. The room itself will need to be fairly big. And most importantly, the people owning it have to be ones you trust.”

Raskin and Sid exchanged looks.

“I think there’s a basement at the White Entei,” Sid suggested. “I’ve been going there since I was too young to drink, so I know the owners pretty well. They’re sound.”

With that in mind, they left for the pub straight away. They found the owner, a raboot named Steela, serving at the bar, and suggested their plan when she found a spare moment.

Steela’s response was one that Raskin was growing used to now. Surprise, even laughter initially; greater seriousness when she realised that they weren’t fooling around; and finally, when a deal had been tentatively agreed, a sudden excitement for it all.

The pub seemed ideal for a number of reasons. The basement Sid remembered was as large as the bar upstairs, once it had been cleared of clutter. Steela still expressed worries that if too much noise was coming from underground—which looked likely if the snubbull Bushu was to return with his drum—it would be noticeable from upstairs, and perhaps even from outside the pub. The solution they came up with was to turn up the radio that normally played in the bar to an almost deafening noise, enough to drown out any loud bangs and crashes.

That then left a potentially awkward problem of the pub being very loud, but empty. To work around that, Steela said she could hang a notice on the pub to say it had been booked for a private party. The building’s exterior was covered with painted murals of its namesake, a white Entei, or at least how legend believed Entei’s body had looked. That meant that no one could get a good look inside the pub from afar; they would only see if they peered right through a gap in the murals. And, given the pub was clearly signposted as being unavailable, there was little chance of that happening.

Raskin caught sight of a long, pale shape across the street, and let out the breath he’d been unknowingly holding. The bulging sack across the linoone’s midriff made it much slower than the species usually was. She almost stumbled up to Raskin before unloading the sack with a sigh of relief.

A piece of paper was stuck to the sack. The linoone picked it up. “Fifty oranberries?”

“That’s right.”

The linoone nodded wearily. “500 poké, then,” she said. As Raskin passed over some coins, she added, “These for a batch of health cocktails or something?”

“Something like that,” Raskin said sheepishly. “The boss is trying some new stuff. Not sure it’s for me.”

The linoone snorted. “I’m with you there.”

As she trotted away, Raskin allowed himself a smile. I’m getting good at this lying business . Then he tried to lift the sack, and his smile disappeared at once.

It took a combined shift from him and Lyco to get it down the basement’s many steps and into one end of the room, next to the rest of their first aid supplies: bandages, disinfectant, water, and lots of cloth.

He was surprised the linoone hadn’t asked about the sheer quantity of berries they had ordered. It seemed excessive to Raskin when Lyco had sketched out the numbers, taking up about one eighth of their entire savings alone. But the lycanroc had been adamant.

“They’re an investment—people won’t need the berries unless they’re really hurt,” she said.

“Then why are we buying so many?” Raskin demanded.

Lyco rolled her eyes. “Bulk-buying is cheaper, obviously. Basic economics.”

While they moved the berries, Sid was busy placing a series of cylindrical logs around the room’s corners. Though the basement did have a single, dim light bulb hanging from its centre, they had agreed that the atmosphere created by the flaming torches last time had to stay. It was another stroke of luck that there was a fan inside one of the walls that Steela could switch on for them, making sure they wouldn’t suffocate from the fumes. Lyco had also drawn a fighting ring in the middle of the room with chalk once again, though this time they had painted over it in white so it wouldn’t rub off.

Next to the first aid equipment was a couple of upturned wooden crates. Raskin had pointed out that in Oldden’s packed room, he had barely managed to keep track of what was happening around him, which they would need to do in the event of crowd trouble. The makeshift podium allowed for that, plus it was a place to deliver announcements and anything else that required the whole room’s attention.

“This all sounds good,” Raskin said as they sat in the White Entei, having worked out how the room should look. “But we still need to get people in.”

“That’s the easy part, isn’t it?” Sid frowned. “You saw how much interest there was last time.”

“And that interest was what lost us our jobs,” Raskin reminded him. “We have to find a way of doing things more secretively, to protect ourselves.”

The three of them thought for a moment. Lyco sipped a glass of tap water—the whiskey had been eschewed this time.

“There’s always the post,” Sid said. “Nobody reads that except the ‘mon receiving it.”

“The post…” Raskin smiled. “Yes, that could work. Sending letters to the ‘mon we know would be interested, and telling them to only spread the word via further letters.”

Lyco hummed a disapproving note. “Can we really trust people to communicate purely via letters, and say nothing face-to-face? That’s not how anyone does things.”

“Well, if we don’t want word to get out, what other option is there?” Raskin asked.

Another contemplative silence.

“Codewords,” Sid said.

Both Raskin and Lyco gave him bemused looks.

“I-I mean, don’t call this thing ‘Fight Den’, because then anyone overhearing might get suspicious! Use a name that wouldn’t mean anything to people.”

Raskin smiled. “The White Entei? That is where they’re going, after all.”

Lyco shook her head. “We don’t want the name of our secret venue getting thrown around everywhere. We need a word similar to ‘fight’, but different enough. We could call it… a ‘hangout’?”

The way it sounded as if she had never said the word before made Raskin snort into his glass. “Sorry,” he said, being met with the lycanroc’s typical glare. “I think that’s good.”

“There could still be room for your letters,” Lyco added. “We can start off by sending them to ‘mon you know would be interested; those you trust the most. Give them instructions on how to further spread the word—codewords to use and such. If they’re the ones getting the word out, it makes our jobs easier. Just make sure you trust them.”

----

The downside of their careful messaging, Raskin reflected, as he sat on one of their upturned crates, was that they had no indication of numbers for tonight. And there was no way they could make this work without enough pokémon coming through the door.

He checked his watch. Eight o’clock. One hour until opening.

Sid climbed up onto the crate to sit beside him. “How’re you feeling?” the quilava asked, appearing to rock back and forth slightly with excitement. The anticipation of tonight seemed to be affecting him very differently to Raskin.

Raskin sighed. “Anxious. Nervous.”

Sid laughed. “Typical Rasky, always worrying. You know deep down that this is gonna be a cinch.”

The nickit shrugged. Given over half of his and Sid’s redundancy money—which they had only received yesterday afternoon—had already been spent, Sid’s jovial attitude felt implausible. “Maybe.”

“So… remind me. You’re gonna start us off, right?” Sid asked.

Raskin nodded. “I’ll get everyone’s attention, then run over the basic rules.” He patted the notebook which he had been memorising non-stop for the past two days. No one wanted to see a notebook at Fight Den.

“And then, what, we get the fights underway?”

“Yep. I guess get two volunteers from the crowd to go first, and hopefully it’ll move from there.”

Sid shook his head, smirking. “What?” Raskin demanded.

“You say ‘hopefully’ too much, ‘mon. Have a little faith, eh?” Sid beat his paws together, jumping back off the crates. “Alright, I’m gonna check on upstairs. Less-than-an-hour-to-go-hype!”

----

To Raskin’s relief, pokémon soon began arriving in good time. He was delighted to see Bushu again, and arriving with him was Luis. The zangoose had somehow puffed up his fur to give him a build more like a hariyama than the lithe form that was underneath. To Raskin’s moderate surprise, Aster had also returned, along with his deerling partner.

“I wondered if you might have had enough fighting after Oldden,” Raskin said to the ivysaur, as the two of them paid their entry fees. Twenty poké this time. The increase in price felt justified for all the extra effort they were going to.

“Are you kidding?” Aster scoffed. “That was so much fun! I’m looking forward to being part of the crowd this time. From what I’ve heard, it was crazy!”

Though the upstairs was hardly a place for conversation over the roaring music, Steela was offering cut prices on spirits at the bar, which got a lot of takers. At one point, she caught Raskin’s eye and raised her eyelids as if to say, ‘ this is more profitable than I expected!’ Raskin hoped that might make her reduce her rent rates for the future.

Gradually, the crowd moved towards the basement. Raskin waited until five minutes past nine before instructing Steela to lock the front door. One thing he had found he and Lyco did have in common was a shared hatred for unclear start times. In all their letters of invitation, they made it clear to be there for nine, no later—otherwise pokémon would undoubtedly turn up half an hour late and think it was normal. It made deciding when to lock up easier, too.

He led the last arrivals downstairs, and was struck—just as at Oldden—by the sheer number of pokémon present. The codewords and secrecy warnings they had given had not deterred the fifty-odd heads he counted.

He was also surprised, and confused, at why the side torches had not been lit, and the dim electric light remained on. Had Sid forgotten?

Looking around the room, he found the quilava in conversation with a growlithe and salandit, gesturing avidly with his paws. “Sid,” Raskin began, making his way over.

“The torches?” Sid grinned. “I’ve got it sorted. You should get up on the podium already!”

Raskin frowned at him, but Sid’s look of conviction suggested he knew exactly what he was doing. Or he was just an idiot, but Raskin gave his friend more credit than that.

He made his way over to the crates, noticing with amusement that not a single pokémon stood inside the central fighting ring, despite its lack of action. Lyco was already sitting on a crate.

“Everything ready?” she said.

“I hope—I mean, yes.”

The lycanroc nodded. “Make sure to remind them of the importance of keeping this secret.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Lyco had been curiously distant from much of their work since they had laid out a plan. Once they had identified the White Entei, she had only dropped in the occasional word in the meeting with Steela, and had largely given him and Sid instructions on what supplies to get, rather than do it herself. Even now, with the thing actually happening , she seemed content to take a back seat.

But she does care, Raskin thought, thinking back to what she had said at the mine. Perhaps it’ll just take time to come out in the open.

He stood up, drawing in a breath. He had prepared himself to shout for everyone’s attention, but most ‘mon seemed to realise this the moment he moved, conversations trailing off. He waited for the room to draw to a hush before speaking.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome to Fight Den! Hopefully, you’re all here because you want to fight—”

The room erupted with screams of delight, Bushu’s drum thudding underneath.

Raskin smiled, letting it run for a moment before holding up a paw. Once again, the room quietened. It’s like I’m a god, he thought, amazed.

“Although I am as excited as any of you,” he said, “I must lay down some ground rules before we begin. The first rule of Fight Den is: you do not talk about Fight Den. It is imperative that we keep this society a secret if it is to continue. Any communication even slightly related to Fight Den must be done either inside these walls; using the codewords you should all know already—please talk to us if you do not; or sent via private post. However, please do not send post to myself or my colleague, Sid Quilava, unless it is an emergency.

“Rule two: as much as we’re all here to have fun, things could very easily get out of control. The only pokémon allowed to fight are the two in the ring.”

This was a rule Lyco had been very strong about. “We can’t have a repeat of what happened in Oldden,” she’d said.

“Well, this is a much bigger room,” Sid replied. “And it’s made of stone or... something…”

“I don’t mean holes in the wall,” Lyco groaned. “A fight practically broke out in the crowd . It was chaos. And there might be double the people in this place. The only place they can fight is in the ring.”

That led nicely into the next rule they had devised. “Rule three,” Raskin continued. “The winner of any fight can stay on for the next fight if they wish to. They may also request to fight a specific pokémon in attendance, as long as this pokémon agrees to it. Rule four: a fight ends either when a pokémon is pushed out of the ring, they stay down for more than five seconds, or they surrender. Any pokémon that continues fighting when the fight is clearly over will be banned, no questions asked. “

He paused, and noticed with alarm that the complete attention the crowd had been giving him was fading fast. There were mutters amongst groups, pokémon shifting restlessly. Some were even moving to the sides of the room, away from him. Why? I haven’t finished yet! he thought. I’ll have to get this done quickly.

“Rule five: if you are seriously hurt, you must not leave the building until we let you. Walking out with bleeding limbs would be far too conspicuous. And finally, rule six—”

The room was suddenly plunged into total darkness. The electric bulb had gone out.

Raskin froze, horrified. The murmuring below him intensified ten-fold, coupled with a few yelps. Then a voice cried out: “FIRE!”

Six bursts of fire appeared at once, spread out across the room. After a second, the flames settled and continued to burn. The torches had been simultaneously lit, and they immediately transformed the room’s atmosphere with the flickering, shadowy lights they threw.

Sid, who had been at the back of the room, strode forward until he stood in the middle of the fighting ring. “Rule six,” he yelled, “is that no one leaves tonight without having a fight!”

The crowd howled and whooped with delight. Some even applauded, like they’d just witnessed some display of talent. Raskin was amazed.

“And,” Sid went on, “that starts with—” he gave Raskin the briefest, delighted glance, “—me and Raskin here!”

Time seemed to stand still.

Raskin could only stare at Sid in horror, ice seeping into his bones. He had no time to prepare for this. No time to steel himself. Why had Sid not told him he would do this? Why?

Next to him, Lyco gave his shoulder a jerk. “You should get down there,” she said, in a tone that left no room for argument.

And Raskin knew she was right. Sid had set this up perfectly. He couldn’t disappoint all these pokémon now.

He carefully stepped down from the crate and walked towards the ring, trying to put on a calm face. A few pokémon he walked through patted him on the head or back, which strangely did boost his confidence a little.

Sid waited in the centre of the ring for him. “Alright, mate?” he grinned, keeping his voice down this time.

“You could have told me this in advance,” Raskin replied, doing his best to steady his own voice.

“Pssh. I only got the idea ten minutes ago!”

With that, the quilava turned and padded to one corner of the ring. Raskin sighed, but did likewise. He had no choice.

“Lyco,” Sid called, looking to her on the podium. “Could you set us off for the night?”

Lyco simply nodded. It was impossible to tell from her expression if she was pleased with this arrangement. “On your marks,” she began. Bushu started playing a rhythm, slowly getting faster.

Raskin’s mind was racing. What do I do? I don’t have any experience with fighting! Well, I suppose no one does, but everyone else seems to at least have the right mindset!

“Get set…”

Sid got onto all-fours, his back legs tensed.

He’s going to come straight at me, Raskin thought. That’s what he did with Tyler, right? I should get closer to the centre so I don’t get pushed out immediately. Isn’t that what I want, though? No, the crowd wouldn’t have it if I surrendered easily—

“FIGHT!”

Sid hurtled towards him like a runaway kit. Get away! some part of Raskin screamed. He dashed forwards, intending to swerve around Sid, then he saw the quilava’s legs leave the ground in front of him. Before he could think, he threw himself to the floor and rolled. He felt himself knock something.

The crowd ‘ooohed’. Raskin scrambled back to his feet. Sid was down. He had tripped him up!

Sid exhaled heavily, then got up and spun to face Raskin again. “Not bad, Rasky,” he said, still grinning. Then, rapidly changing his stance, the quilava dove forwards again. Low this time.

Raskin was too surprised to react in time. Sid led with his shoulder, and it cracked square into his stomach. He fell backwards.

“You can’t arrest him! He’s done nothing wrong! He’s—”

He ran at the officers desperately. The lucario held up a glowing palm, and suddenly he was struck with a sledgehammer of force, throwing him up and across the living room.

He could hardly breathe, hardly move his limbs. He had just enough strength to turn and see the officers moving away, his father held between them, and gasp, “No… no… don’t go…”



“Rasky?”

Raskin opened his eyes. He was on the ground. Shivering. The crowd had been cheering when he was knocked down, but now they murmured and looked around at each other, as if they knew something was wrong.

Raskin could sense Sid leaning over him. Thinking quickly, he got back to his feet, hoping that moving would hide his shakiness.

“You good?” Sid asked.

“Yeah.” Raskin smiled. “I don’t wanna push myself too much though. We need to be healthy enough to watch over things. Shouldn’t leave all that work to Lyco.”

Sid nodded slowly. “Right. I… guess I should drop out too, then—”

“No, you don’t have to!” Raskin said. “You’re perfect, Sid. Keep going. The two of us will be enough.”

The quilava looked concerned, but after a moment he smiled. “Alright then. Thanks.”

The moment Raskin put a foot outside the ring, the quilava roared, “Who’s next? You’re taking on a reigning champion here!” That seemed to rouse the crowd again.

Raskin slipped and sidestepped his way through the crowd, heading straight back to the crates. No one paid him much mind other than more pats on the back, which seemed good—they hadn’t noticed anything amiss with how the fight had ended.

He wasn’t used to being hit like that—not surprising, given he hadn’t fought since he was kit. But why must it remind him so horribly of that day the police came to their door? It was years ago now. Had he been repressing those memories that much?

As he jumped to get on a crate, his front paw trembled and slipped away. Just before he could yelp, Lyco stuck out a long arm to help him up.

Raskin gave her a sheepish smile. “Thanks.” He just got a grunt in response.

Eager to take his mind off the past, he sat next to Lyco—there wasn’t anywhere else to sit on the crates—to see what was happening in the ring. A few pokémon had been jostling to be the next one to face Sid, but the winner had been, much to Raskin’s puzzlement, an espurr.

The ‘mon seemed tiny in her corner of the arena, just a pale grey ball amidst a sea of bodies surrounding her. Yet she faced Sid with a look of intense focus. Not that the quilava was at all put off.

“Get us rolling, Lyco!” he called, and the lycanroc duly obliged again.

Sid started exactly the same way, sprinting at the espurr. She was tensed at first, her hands held out in front of her for some reason. But when Sid drew near, she lowered them and sidestepped past the quilava with unexpected speed.

“Raskin,” Lyco said.

Raskin jumped. It felt like the first time Lyco had called him by name, rather than ‘you’, or a jab of a paw.

“Something happened to you down there,” she said. “You didn’t want to fight.”

“Well, I didn’t have much time to prepare for it—”

“Let’s not lie to each other here.” She turned to him, her crimson eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head. I don’t expect you to tell me, either. But you realise that, as one of the leaders of Fight Den, it would be helpful for you to be seen fighting now and again?”

Raskin scowled. “We’re putting our balls on the line just by running this. Everyone should know that. I don’t see why I need to get involved with the fighting side too.”

Lyco’s gaze lingered a moment longer, then she flicked her mane away. “Whatever. Your choice.”

Raskin glanced at the ring. Sid was still on the offensive, though he wasn’t rushing into attacks with the same frantic energy as before.

“You’re not exactly one to talk, anyway,” Raskin said. “Why aren’t you getting involved?”

Lyco sighed, drawing up her legs to herself. “Remember when we met in Oldden, you wondered why I was limping after throwing those rocks at Tyler?”

Raskin nodded. “You said it took a lot out of you, or something.”

“I wasn’t lying. An attack like that should be a rock-type’s bread and butter. And it used to be for me, too.” She paused. “I have an… unusual disorder. Energy Fatigue Syndrome is what the doctors called it. What would be a breeze for most pokémon, ends up tiring me out like that .” She snapped her claws for emphasis.

“I… I didn’t know that,” Raskin stuttered. He wasn’t sure what to say. “Sorry.”

Lyco shrugged. “You couldn’t have known.”

A sudden roar from the crowd gave Raskin a chance to break the uncomfortable exchange. Looking to the arena, he was met with the confusing sight of Sid on the ground, groaning in pain, while the espurr stood in the centre of the ring, almost statuesque, and with barely a scratch on her.

“What happened?” Raskin asked.

“Wasn’t watching too closely,” Lyco said. “You were distracting me.”

With a sigh, Raskin jumped down into the crowd and asked the same question to Luis, who was nearby.

“Espurr hasn’t been doing anything other than staying out of Sid’s way,” the zangoose said, his eyes fixed on the arena, where Sid was getting to his feet again. “But just now, she raised an arm in front of her, and Sid got thrown backwards without anything touching him!”

Sid’s flame sacs were spitting fire. He tensed his legs as if to run at the espurr again, but instead lurched forward and spat… Raskin assumed he meant it to be fire, but all that appeared was a dark smoke, as had happened against Tyler.

It did distract the espurr, however, as she waved her arms to try and get a clear view of the quilava. Sid took the opportunity to go for another tackle, but the espurr saw him just in time, rolling to the side.

Immediately, she raised her arm again towards Sid’s unbalanced form. The air between the two shimmered, as if obscured by glass, then there was a bang, Sid cried out, stumbled back, and finally collapsed to his haunches.

Amazing, Raskin thought. I had no idea that kind of attack even existed.

Sid remained down, coughing faintly, and the crowd began chanting, knowing he had five seconds to recover.

“One, two, three, four—”

Sid’s flame sacs suddenly ignited like a match dropped into a bucket of oil. Parts of the crowd on his edge of the ring cried out in alarm and backed away. Sid leapt to his feet again, as Raskin waited for the fire to settle.

But it didn’t. His head and rear were fully on fire.

Sid opened his mouth again, his face glowing against the fire’s light, and this time a fireball came at the espurr, as high as her body. She scrambled away from it—as did the crowd behind her—and dove away just in time, leaving the fire sizzling to embers against the basement wall. But Sid wasn’t off-balance like she now was. He launched himself at her, leading with his flaming head.

His tackle flung the psychic-‘mon far out of the arena, crashing into a group of watchers. Thankfully her eyes remained open as she landed—she looked more dazed than anything else.

The rest of the crowd roared their appreciation for Sid, though Raskin could also pick up some murmurings from close-by.

“How’s his body on fire like that?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“I thought what that espurr was doing was crazy enough…”


“Quilava is the winner!” Lyco called out from the podium. “And if he is staying on—”

“You bet I’m staying on!” Sid cried. He looked around the crowd, grinning delightedly. He was like a beacon with his flaming body. “Who’s up next?” There was a noticeable hesitation in the crowd this time before a marshtomp stepped forward.

Once Lyco had set them off, Sid wasted no time in launching another fireball at the marshtomp. He didn’t try to get out of the way as the espurr had, simply shielding himself with his thick arms. As water-types could do, the ‘mon absorbed its heat without visible difficulty. When Sid then began his trademark charge forwards, the marshtomp met him with a tackle of his own.

Both ‘mon were sent sprawling, though Sid seemed to catch the brunt of the impact. He got up and tried another tackle, but moved slower than before, and the marshtomp easily blocked him again. This time, Sid’s flames extinguished the moment he hit the ground.

He propped his head up on his elbows, took one look at the marshtomp already standing, ready for more, and held an arm up in surrender. The second wind he had found to defeat the espurr had been only that. But he limped out of the ring to enormous applause, with virtually every person Raskin’s side of the room leaning in to high-five or fist-bump or slap him on the back.

Raskin waited at the back of the crowd for the quilava to come through. When he finally emerged, Raskin got a jolt at seeing him no longer smiling. His eyes were wide and unfocused, as if he’d just been electrocuted.

“Sid?” Raskin said. “Are you okay?”

Sid nodded, stepping gingerly away from the crowd towards Lyco and the crates. A helioptile had taken his place in the ring, which was now side-stepping around the marshtomp carefully.

“I’m just… trying to process what happened,” Sid said at last.

“The whole setting yourself on fire thing?” Raskin said, smiling. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“You didn’t— I didn’t know!” Sid exclaimed. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before! The espurr’s mind attacks, the flame sacs, the… the fireballs I made! I…I…”

To Raskin’s surprise, Sid suddenly threw his arms around him. His fur was almost burning hot. “This Fight Den,” Sid said, “what we’ve created… it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. And it’s all thanks to you, Rasky.”

“Don’t be silly,” Raskin chuckled, patting him gingerly on the back. “I’m glad you pushed me to go ahead with it. Your fur is very hot.”

“Oh! Sorry.” Sid moved away, feeling the fur himself. “Huh. That’s new too… Well anyway, I’m gonna head back into the crowd. Don’t wanna miss anything, y’know?”

Raskin nodded, but as Sid began walking away, he remembered something else. “Sid!” he called.

The quilava turned back, confused.

“Uh… why did you make that first fight happen between us? Was it just a crazy impulse?”

Sid smirked. “It was a crazy impulse, but that wasn’t why. I thought that some of the ‘mon coming in here, ones that don’t know us well, might think all we care about is their money. Especially given we—well, you and Lyco—were on that podium while they’re all bunched together down here. So, what better way to show what we’re about than by kicking the whole thing off ourselves?”

Raskin smiled. It confirmed what he had already hoped. He had forever been frustrated with Sid for his rashness, forgetfulness, even downright stupidity at times. But when it came to these fights, the quilava seemed to possess such an innate understanding of how to be entertaining, play to the crowd, get everyone onside. He had found his calling.

Sensing something behind him, Raskin turned to find Lyco looking down at him from the podium, her eyes narrowed. He knew what she was thinking, and sadly, he agreed.

If only I could feel the same.
 

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
Location
The Yangverse
Pronouns
Any
Partners
  1. reshiram
  2. zygarde
Here for Catnip!

There were few sounds Raskin could imagine that were so dissonant and demonic as those which constituted his alarm.

given my alarm was an asshole this morning this was the perfect opener

I find it very intresting this is a very PMD-esqe Pokemon-only setting but it has very modern technology and society - more like a Zootopia or Aggretsuko than a typical PMD fic. Normally low-to-no-human Pokemon settings have a slight disadvantage in me getting invested unless they spice things up, but this quirk definitely spices things up. Most people on TR are good at spicing it up, granted, but your setting is just really cool to me.

your protagonists are also pretty #relatrable here in the modern age. they just wanna scream. and punch people. feelings i feel on a daily basis. so it only makes sense that they start a poke-fight club. nothing can go wrong, even with authoritarian cops around, right?

I can't guarantee when I'll loop back around to this fic, because I never can, but you have me very curious about what happens ne- AH FUCK MY ALARM IS GOING OFF
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
  9. celebi
Playing some catch-up real quick! Here for chapters 4-6; I had things sectioned out nicely by chapter and then I promptly forgot instead. w h o o p s

The dynamic between Raskin and his father is really poignant in this one. Loved the idea that Raskin feels some sort of shame about his father, that Haikos feels shame about himself--these are very real emotions! Lotta daddy issues floating around the table for everyone to share. And the way that Raskin has quietly pushed his father out of his life, doesn't really talk or think about him until its convenient, is all sad to look at but definitely feels in-line with the Raskin we know.

And the prison system seems really ominous here, Haikos' speculation that they make the sentences sound extra harsh in order to scare compliance, with the end goal of being as many reformed/conforming citizens as possible seems like a plausibly dystopic setup. In a way it feels more sinister than just letting your enemies rot in prison, since it sort of accepts this idea that you (the government) can control them wherever they are ... spooky stuff.

The twin redundancies are very sinister too, especially how you treat it as not an explicit layoff, but just a very stern way to convince someone to leave of their own accord. Kinda curious how much of this is because of the shadowy hand of the government or whatever and how much is just, corporations gonna corporate, but that's not really a question I needed answered in these chapters. It's a great way to introduce conflicta nd shove these guys out of their comfort zones though! I was curious what the impetus was going to be for them to leave their cushy jobs and tame lives, and I thought this was a really clever way to do it.

Then, we enter fight club! I'm honestly curious about what your thoughts are on that concept and where you draw the true differentiation, haha--Raskin and Sid are much more polite than Tyler Durden, and the overall tone is much less raunchy, but there's some very common themes at play here re: governmental control, loss of humanity/personhood, corporations in general creating a soulless hellhole that sucks people dry. I think it's an interesting reimagining to start with two characters who aren't quite disillusioned with the system yet--starting much earlier down the road than Tyler does, where will they ultimately end up? I did like how Sid's really leaning into fight den and Raskin's still trying to figure out where he stands; it definitely gels with Raskin's backstory that he'd be more cowed into submission, whereas Sid hasn't seen the consequences of standing out yet.

Some really interesting worldbuilding in this chunk as well--Lyco's disease probably doesn't seem 100% natural, etc. In general I liked the atmosphere of the fight den a lot; it's really fun to see these people discovering their powers for the first time and having fun cutting loose--almost feels like that sequence in a superhero origin story where they just fuck around and do silly shit while being so excited for how cool they are before everything falls apart.

some line-by-line thoughts:

Sid scratched his head for a moment. "I mean, maybe it's about that. But if the police had heard, why would their first response be to send a letter? And why would it come in the exact same format as those letters about your dad?" He chuckled. "Rasky, have you ever heard of the police arresting someone by sending them a letter?
The comedy here is pretty solid, and this line conveys/reinforces the idea that Raskin perhaps isn't the most analytical/critical/cynical thinker here. And also, sad Raskin sounds, Raskin knows exactly how the police arrest people and know that it isn't via mail lol. Does Sid know? I couldn't recall.

There were several reasons why, he supposed. The cold-blooded manner of the police always rubbed him the wrong way. How they referred to his father only as Mightyena rather than his first name. That impersonality would be fine if Haikos was superior to the entire Deepden police force, but as the opposite was true, it was difficult not to interpret the name as an insult.
I wasn't sure if this was intentionally a nod to how PMD pokemon get referred to by species name only in canon, and how weird that is, but if it is, I liked it!

"cold-blooded manner of the police rubbed him the wrong way" lol--it's kinda fun to see people giving things a pass until they inconvenience them personally, but this is such a radical direction to take it in. "they imprisoned my father for minor tax evasion and he's a shadow of his former self" -> I'm chuffed, I tell you, very chuffed, highly irritated.

While the anatomy of most quadrupeds didn't work naturally for sitting at a table, they were trained to make it work from an early age. Three years in prison seemed to have made Haikos forget his training.
still interested to see where this biped superiority gang is lol. secret human cabal let's goooo

I feel like just sitting in chairs are actually the least of their problems though? Desks/working at desks would be annoying, but just sitting around a table to talk to someone feels like it'd actually be one of the easier things for quadrupeds to be allowed to do comfortably (i.e. just sitting on it like its a stool), unless the idea is that in addition to keeping them mentally and fiscally enslaved we're also focused on specifically giving them lumbar issues.

But what hit him harder were the force of Haikos's words. Because his father was right; he had made the ultimate sacrifice, even if the prison part of it was undesired. Haikos had been caught lying about his income on their tax forms, attempting to pay less than he was obligated to.
I thought it was pretty interesting that tax evasion is what brings Haikos down, since I really never associate intentional tax evasion with anything but the wealthy. Are the taxes super high where this would make a difference between starving or not? If the taxes are this high, is there no governmental safety net? I struggled to see why Haikos thought that this was where he stood the most to gain, if he knew the risk when he did this (seems like a really silly thing to try to cheat if their society is this authoritarian). In general I thought this section was a bit awkward since it was a lot of exposition dumping but the context was still unclear.

And I ultimately do think tax evasion says a lot as the crime of choice--its choosing to put your own needs before the needs of others, giving up on the idea of a society predicated on helping others, etc.

Raskin blinked at him. Run some numbers…? These computers tell him how much work everyone's been doing?
hahaha Raskin you poor dumb fool

Oh, but what does it matter how it happened? Raskin thought, as he left the transport station on Harmony Square. It's over. I'll have to start all over again…
likewise I thought it was cute/sad that he thought there would maybe be a logical reason for this to happen, something he could've done to avoid it ... he's gonna learn a lot in this story, I feel.

Sid's face screwed up. "I still don't understand why they'd have to let us go. Wouldn't it be more reasonable to pull us to one side and say, 'hey, I've been hearing these rumours about you, don't do anything like it again or you'll be properly punished'?"
hahahaha

"Our redundancy pay! That's more than we'd ever be able to save up normally—there's our resources! It'll pay itself back faster than a pidgeot in flight if we can get this thing up and running."
I didn't quite follow the logic here, if the idea was just that these two are both absurdly bad at budgeting--Raskin says earlier that the pay is less than he'd get normally, and is concerned about being able to pay rent on that, so assuming they all haven't been evicted in addition to everything else, I wasn't sure how this was supposed to be a net positive?

Raskin slipped through the gap in the counter, feeling increasingly conscious of the impatient queue's grumblings behind him. The computer screen showed a list of a handful of names: Percy Lycanroc-N, Luna Lycanroc-N, Pita Lycanroc-N…
Super creepy that you can just ask for anyone's address without even knowing their full name haha. Casual benefits of being in a dystopic dictatorship I guess.

Raskin nodded. He noticed then that the nidoran's paw was still extended towards him, expectant, and he scowled. "I'll pay you when we find her, and nothing before."
I liked this moment of character growth for him! Not as naive as we were thinking.

"Look, mate, I don't know what pampered, fancy fucking district of this city you grew up in," he spat. "But Oldden don't play by those rules. If two 'mon have a disagreement, they don't go to the authority. Fighting is the authority."
Look, and I get it, you don't want Fight Club references, but you also have a foul-mouthed, slightly toxic character named Tyler who is disillusioned with society and wants people to go back to punching each other in the faces to solve their problems.

Lyco's eyes widened. "Gods. That was all it took..." She paused, shaking her head. "You must realise then, that this sort of thing isn't taken lightly by the police. If you're caught, caught properly, then—"
I thought she lived off-grid? To me this suggested that she's intentionally taking steps to avoid the police/government in general, so it felt weird that she was surprised at the overreach here? If anything I thought she'd be like, oh man, these idiots, clearly they can't cover their tracks and I'm not going to tie myself to a sinking ship here.

"It is a travesty that we aren't free to fight in this city. They teach you in school that our ancestors that fought day and night, whether in the wild or for trainers, were some kind of lesser beings to us now. It's all bullshit.
!! there were humans??? big 👀

“The post…” Raskin smiled. “Yes, that could work. Sending letters to the ‘mon we know would be interested, and telling them to only spread the word via further letters.”

Lyco hummed a disapproving note. “Can we really trust people to communicate purely via letters, and say nothing face-to-face? That’s not how anyone does things.”
I struggled a bit with the logic here, that leaving a literal paper trail (that passes through the people they're afraid of being caught by, no less) was somehow more secure than talking to other people. The real flaw in their first attempt seems to have been that they were caught talking to the wrong people, not that they were caught talking--if verbal conversations can be tracked and flagged basically overnight in this world, I really don't know if letters that the government is responsible for delivering would help any--that seems like a huge amount of surveillance and oversight.

Sid, who had been at the back of the room, strode forward until he stood in the middle of the fighting ring. “Rule six,” he yelled, “is that no one leaves tonight without having a fight!”
This was a really good scene! Love that Sid is warming up to his role as organizer, while Raskin is still trying to figure out his place here. I'm sure! this will not! cause any issues later!

Make it so that this fight… club, fight society, whatever you wanna call it, is where anyone can fight.
The first rule of Fight Den is: you do not talk about Fight Den.
unknown.png

a tragedy in three parts, rip
 

cynsh

full-time quilava
Location
Deepden
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. quilava
@kintsugi

So much stuff to pick through from this... I might have said it before, but it's a huge honour to me that you're putting so much time and thought into the silly things I've written. So thanks. :veelove:

I'll start with the Fight Club notes, since you brought that up a few times.

Raskin and Sid are much more polite than Tyler Durden, and the overall tone is much less raunchy, but there's some very common themes at play here re: governmental control, loss of humanity/personhood, corporations in general creating a soulless hellhole that sucks people dry.

First thing to say is that, though it might be hard to believe, I didn't watch Fight Club until I was already well into planning/writing the start of the story. So, many of the similarities you see are unintentional on my part.
Not sure what you mean by 'loss of humanity/personhood' - if it's that Fight Den is a place where any judgements based on social standing, previous relationships or whatever else exists on the 'outside world' is abandoned, then sure! But fighting is not reducing pokemon to a feral state like some stories lean more towards. They genuinely love doing it.

Look, and I get it, you don't want Fight Club references, but you also have a foul-mouthed, slightly toxic character named Tyler who is disillusioned with society and wants people to go back to punching each other in the faces to solve their problems.

Oh my god. I swear, Tyler Durden did not even occur to me when I was naming this guy. Oh man. RIP my fic

The first rule of Fight Den is: you do not talk about Fight Den.

Now, I know what I said - 'this isn't anything like Fight Club'. Honestly I still stand by that - the chapters you've read here are probably the most similar it will ever be. But this reference was too good to leave out. Let me have my fun, okay?

"cold-blooded manner of the police rubbed him the wrong way" lol--it's kinda fun to see people giving things a pass until they inconvenience them personally, but this is such a radical direction to take it in. "they imprisoned my father for minor tax evasion and he's a shadow of his former self" -> I'm chuffed, I tell you, very chuffed, highly irritated.

Your last sentence here is amusing but I can't figure out what it actually means 😅

I feel like just sitting in chairs are actually the least of their problems though? Desks/working at desks would be annoying, but just sitting around a table to talk to someone feels like it'd actually be one of the easier things for quadrupeds to be allowed to do comfortably (i.e. just sitting on it like its a stool), unless the idea is that in addition to keeping them mentally and fiscally enslaved we're also focused on specifically giving them lumbar issues.

Again I love your deep analysis! I mean yeah, maybe I should have clarified that sitting at desks is just part of the 'bipedal training', along with holding things, writing, etc.

I thought it was pretty interesting that tax evasion is what brings Haikos down, since I really never associate intentional tax evasion with anything but the wealthy. Are the taxes super high where this would make a difference between starving or not? If the taxes are this high, is there no governmental safety net? I struggled to see why Haikos thought that this was where he stood the most to gain, if he knew the risk when he did this (seems like a really silly thing to try to cheat if their society is this authoritarian). In general I thought this section was a bit awkward since it was a lot of exposition dumping but the context was still unclear.

It's times like these where I feel super insecure that the society I've created doesn't make enough sense. 😖 I... don't really know how to argue against these points - tax evasion just seemed like a convenient, non-violent crime for Haikos to be punished for, also showing the sacrifices he tried to make so Raskin could succeed in life.
I've had other people talk about this section being an exposition dump. I can't really disagree with that. I just wanted to get the information across rather than hinting at it and then having to worry about another thing to eventually spell out further down the line.

I didn't quite follow the logic here, if the idea was just that these two are both absurdly bad at budgeting--Raskin says earlier that the pay is less than he'd get normally, and is concerned about being able to pay rent on that, so assuming they all haven't been evicted in addition to everything else, I wasn't sure how this was supposed to be a net positive?

The point is that they're getting all this money at once rather than over the course of weeks as would happen with their jobs. So they can make a bigger initial outlay on fighting stuff than they would have.

Super creepy that you can just ask for anyone's address without even knowing their full name haha. Casual benefits of being in a dystopic dictatorship I guess.

My idea was that you can send someone a letter if you know their name, but that doesn't give you automatic access to their address too. You're not the first person to think what you did so maybe it needs clarifying. Also, a pokemon's full name is just first name + species.

I thought she lived off-grid? To me this suggested that she's intentionally taking steps to avoid the police/government in general, so it felt weird that she was surprised at the overreach here? If anything I thought she'd be like, oh man, these idiots, clearly they can't cover their tracks and I'm not going to tie myself to a sinking ship here.

Lyco predominantly lives in Deepden - that's the address Raskin was trying to obtain. She is generally avoiding the police & government, I think her surprise is that Raskin and Sid - who unlike her have no prior history with them (hint hint, more on that later) - still lost their jobs on the basis of a few rumours.

I struggled a bit with the logic here, that leaving a literal paper trail (that passes through the people they're afraid of being caught by, no less) was somehow more secure than talking to other people. The real flaw in their first attempt seems to have been that they were caught talking to the wrong people, not that they were caught talking--if verbal conversations can be tracked and flagged basically overnight in this world, I really don't know if letters that the government is responsible for delivering would help any--that seems like a huge amount of surveillance and oversight.

Not really sure what your point is here, sorry. But this is an imperfect solution, because they come up with a better one a few lines later (codewords etc)
 
Last edited:

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
  9. celebi
First thing to say is that, though it might be hard to believe, I didn't watch Fight Club until I was already well into planning/writing the start of the story. So, many of the similarities you see are unintentional on my part.
Not sure what you mean by 'loss of humanity/personhood' - if it's that Fight Den is a place where any judgements based on social standing, previous relationships or whatever else exists on the 'outside world' is abandoned, then sure! But fighting is not reducing pokemon to a feral state like some stories lean more towards. They genuinely love doing it.
oh yes, should've clarified--part of Fight Club that I think resonates the most with viewers (given that most of them don't end up wanting to go full Tyler Durden) is the idea that your corporate job strips you of your humanity--you become a drone, businesses view you as objects, etc. And then fighting/reverting to those baser instincts in a way returns the characters back to their more free selves; fighting isn't mindless but capitalism is, sorota thing.

Now, I know what I said - 'this isn't anything like Fight Club'. Honestly I still stand by that - the chapters you've read here are probably the most similar it will ever be. But this reference was too good to leave out. Let me have my fun, okay?
haha I do want to clarify that it's fine if it is! you don't lose fanfic points for taking inspiration from things. I just wanted to point out these specific bits since in Discord you seemed surprised that people would view them as similar.

Your last sentence here is amusing but I can't figure out what it actually means 😅
Typically people who have loved ones who have been shafted by the legal system end up with a lot more feelings towards the legal system than "rubbed the wrong way"--either very angry at the person who committed the crime or angry at the laws that wrongfully imprisoned them. Rubbed the wrong way is fairly neutral and hands-off for someone who basically has PTSD from the cops kicking down his door and dragging his father away.

It's times like these where I feel super insecure that the society I've created doesn't make enough sense. 😖 I... don't really know how to argue against these points - tax evasion just seemed like a convenient, non-violent crime for Haikos to be punished for, also showing the sacrifices he tried to make so Raskin could succeed in life.
I've had other people talk about this section being an exposition dump. I can't really disagree with that. I just wanted to get the information across rather than hinting at it and then having to worry about another thing to eventually spell out further down the line.
Haha, that's fair! Lot to build from the ground up.

I was curious if maybe this was just a me-thing, so I actually posed this to my roommate--"the head of a low-income household has been arrested and put in jail for several years for committing a crime. what crime was it?" and tax evasion wasn't even top 20 (they got pretty creative too)--we could run the experiment in discord if you want. Doing a cursory search (which is admittedly limited to US fiscal year 2017), the median amount of tax fraud was over $275,000 (and this is the evaded amount, meaning what they actually paid is more and what their actual income was is astronomically more)--vanilla tax fraud really isn't a crime that lower income individuals have the tools to commit.

Tax evasion isn't really about putting the wrong number in the little box; it's more about lying about your assets, getting certain things valued lower/higher than they actually are, writing off certain expenditures in the wrong categories--these are tools that require having assets and also having money (there's a break-even point where it costs less to pay someone to finagle your taxes than it does to pay your taxes). You could potentially make a case that Haikos was doing a side cash-only gig and he didn't report that as income (which is a different flavor of tax evasion than putting the wrong number in the little box), but what currently stands didn't feel very realistic to me.

some misc brainstormed ideas w/ a friend: shoplifting, failure to appear in court for a different offense (like maybe a traffic ticket or something)?

Not really sure what your point is here, sorry. But this is an imperfect solution, because they come up with a better one a few lines later (codewords etc)
Sorry, to clarify--sending things via government-sponsored mail is a bad way to hide things from the government. Some off-the-cuff reasons for why snail mail is an undesirable method of communication and why historically it isn't used to coordinate rebellious activity:

1. It can be traced. There will be a record of Raskin sending letters to intended recipients, and of those recipients sending letters onward. The government is the only entity that could track this down easily, but since they're hiding from the government, this seems like a bad idea.
2. It can be intercepted. Unlike conversations, letters can be opened & read without either the recipient or sender knowing. Someone can steal the mail before it reaches the recipient, ensuring that information never gets communicated. Again, not a major issue unless you're afraid that the post office is going to tamper with your mail, but in this case, they're hiding from the government, which conceivably controls the post office (even if the post office is private, the simultaneous redundancies bit in ch4 suggests that the government has influence over private corporations).
3. It can be forged. It is exceedingly difficult to fake face-to-face conversations; it is incredibly easy to fake a letter if I know what to forge.
4. It is slow. If Raskin finds out an hour before fight den that their location is compromised, there is no way in hell he can warn everyone in time. Even in casual settings, if he wants to change the location because it's too small or the beer sucks, disseminating that information via mail is uncomfortable.
5. It can be recorded. For a modern example, this is why companies doing bad things don't talk about the bad things over email--there's a paper trail. Again, could be argued that the government here doesn't care, but given that they've cracked down this hard, I don't really see how mail is supposed to be more private.

Historically letters have been used to communicate secret information only when talking in-person wasn't possible, i.e. due to large distances; however, these issues are some of the reasons why people stopped doing that. Also note that these messages weren't usually transmitted through government means; they used individual couriers/scouts/messengers--people they knew they could trust to deliver the message end-to-end.

Code words while talking in-person would make sense with the network they're trying to coordinate. Code words and also switching to a vastly inferior method of communication makes a lot less sense. This entire idea hinges on the idea that the government, who tracked them down and ousted them from their jobs, won't also look at their mail, which the government has direct control and oversight over.

And I should note that this is probably a realistically dumb/naive idea from these three, given that this is their first time trying to run hidden networks and presumably their education systems don't focus on opsec or anything adjacent to it, but this system should immediately end with them getting caught next chapter lol.
 
Last edited:

Ambyssin

Gotta go back. Back to the past.
Location
Residency hell
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. silvally-dragon
  2. necrozma-ultra
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. dreepy
  6. mewtwo-ambyssin
So, after three chapters, I can say the writing style is quite similar to what I read of Fractured Elements. A fair bit of exposition given through Raskin's inner monologue, which I guess is better than "as you know"-style explanations. Though it still would've been nice to find more... organic ways to show off this world. If I had to guess, this instinctual drive to fight is probably some sort of remnant of a time where pokémon were partners with humans. Deepden's a bit too much like modern civilization and there isn't any magitek handwaving from what I could see. I don't think it's a coincidence if the short summary's to be believed. Maybe it's something Raskin will learn about as the fic goes on.

I know some folks thought chapter 1 was a bit too, like, slow and meandering... but I think that was intentional? I did find it boring to read, but it does make me empathize more with just how tired/sad Raskin is of his day-to-day life. And they come up with the fight club idea within the first chapter anyway. If you'd dragged things on beyond that, then I might've had a problem. But it works as it is. The fic's premise also lets you get away with making the mundane seem quite terrifying. Raskin and Sid getting jumped by the stray strikes me as, like, a tackle-fight level of battle choreography, but it works because they're the exact opposite of battle-hardened 'mons. Even the baker feet seems fairly mundane until it looks like they produce a couple of actual attacks at the very end.

Not sure what to make of Lyco at this point. Gut tells me she's actually from the wildlands and somehow crossed over into the city.

Then the quilava burst out
Of course there's a quilava. Also... lewd. :P
Thank the gods for razors
I know you explain it, but I still don't think a nickit could successfully operate a razor.
they stopped practically on the doorstep of Pokémon Bank, his workplace
Dang, no wonder his salary sucks. People only paying five bucks a year to his company.
whenever he watched it, either with Sid or work colleagues, he felt like it was… incomplete, somehow.
Well, no duh. Track and field is always people's least favorite part of the Olympics. :V
Just haven’t been feeling it
Shulk would like to know your location.
Luis nodded. “I know. I gotcha covered.”
Presses X to doubt.
“Have you ever met a ‘mon at the White Entei who’s not totally sound?”
de7.png

Yet this rickety room, filled with scattered groups of ‘mon who had only come together on a whim, whom most didn’t have a favourite nor type, produced a roar so much more passionate and visceral than any event at the athletics could.
I mean, I'm no physicist or anything, but I sincerely doubt acoustics and sound waves work like this. The stadium should definitely be louder. XD
Maybe, Raskin thought as he watched them, it’s a blessing we won’t be doing this again.
Well, if that was the case, this'd be an awfully short fic. :ROFLMAO:
 
Chapter 7: Fervor

cynsh

full-time quilava
Location
Deepden
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. quilava
Chapter 7: Fervor

Three short hours after they had started, Steela stuck her head into the basement and told everyone, decisively, that it was closing time. The meowth and treecko in the ring stopped fighting. For the first time that night, Raskin felt he could draw breath.

The fights had not stopped for even a minute. Every time one pokémon stepped away, there were five more eager to take their place, even towards closing time when some pokémon had left. It had meant that, despite the intentions of their rules, several scuffles had broken out among two pokémon impatient for a turn in the ring.

The first few times, a harsh warning from Lyco or Sid—whoever saw it happening first—was enough to break things up. Eventually, when one scuffle began close to the crates they sat on, Lyco leapt down into the crowd herself and physically lifted a tyrogue away from the meditite he had disagreed with.

"The next person," she yelled, into the poor tyrogue's withered face, "to break rule two will be escorted out of here myself. Do I make myself clear?"

The tyrogue nodded frantically, and the rest of the room slowly gave a rumble of approval.

"Good." She dropped the tyrogue back down, the 'mon landing in a heap, and skulked back to the crates.

When she was about to climb up, she turned back to the crowd. Most of them were still watching her.

"And by the way," she said. "I want to see all of you fight. I know what an experience it is. That's why I'm risking everything I have to put Fight Den on with these two." She nodded to Raskin, on the crates with her, and Sid, who had stepped out of the crowd. "For that, I think the least we deserve is your respect."

She got back onto the box. Still the room was silent. Lyco rolled her eyes at them. "Drummer boy," she barked, which made Bushu jump.

"Y-yes?" he said.

"You going to carry on drumming for us?"

"Oh—right!"

The snubbull launched into a rapid, complicated rhythm, which soon got the crowd engaged again. Lyco sat back, satisfied.

The crowd was immaculately behaved after that.

----

The metal shower head spewed out steaming water. Sid, standing in the basin, stared at it. He tensed himself—wait, no, not tense, relax, that's what he needed to do. He imagined the shower head as some rabid enemy… spitting water, maybe…

He paused. A shower head didn't really look like any pokémon, did it?

So he thought back to the marshtomp that had defeated him last time. He hadn't had a chance at a rematch yet. He imagined the 'mon running towards him for a tackle. Now was the time to strike!

The quilava felt for that warmth in his chest that had always been there, just buried, like rocks under a quarry. The rubble was slowly clearing the more he practiced. He drew the feeling up through his lungs and throat, opened his mouth, exhaled—

For a moment just a couple of smoke clouds appeared, then there was a rush of fire. It went straight into the water stream, which reacted with a furious sizzling.

Mew, he loved this feeling. It felt so natural, like his body had been crying out for it for so long, and was just now getting the rewards.

But Mew, it was difficult to keep up. He counted: one second, two seconds, three—

Someone pounded on the bathroom door, making Sid yelp in surprise. The fire ceased.

Damn! That was my best yet…

"Sid!" Raskin barked from the other side of the door. "How long are you gonna be, dude?"

Sid sighed. Well, maybe this was a blessing in disguise. He didn't want to exhaust himself before tonight. "Not long," he said. "I'll…"

He broke off, coughing. Then he noticed black smoke. Where had that come from? It was seeping everywhere, including towards the door. Oh no. He scrambled out of the bath, batting his paws at it.

"Sid, what—what's happening in there?" Raskin exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Sid said, but at that moment the door burst open, its locking mechanism flying across the room.

Raskin looked at the little room, now swamped with smoke, the shower still running, and in the middle of it all Sid, his fur drooping with how drenched it was.

"Sid," he said, his mouth slightly open. "What were you doing?"

Sid shifted uncomfortably on the bathmat. "Practising my fire," he said. "The shower seemed the safest place."

"Did you not anticipate this?" Raskin gestured to the carbon whatever-gas-it-was around them.

"I didn't think I'd produce so much fire. That was a new record!"

"Well I'm… pleased for you," Raskin said, forcing a smile. He coughed heavily. Sid winced.

"We should have some time at the Entei before people arrive for you to do some more practice. Until then…"

"I got it," Sid said nodding. "I'm just really excited, y'know? I feel like we're only just scratching the surface with all this, what with no one having properly fought for so long. It's like, how far can I go? I dunno."

Raskin nodded, though he seemed oddly uncomfortable about something. "Gonna need to get a new lock fitted now," he muttered, almost to himself. He looked up. "Open the window in here. I'll do the same with the rest of them. Hopefully that means the smoke alarm won't go off."

Sid's ears dropped at the thought. That piercing alarm really messed with Raskin's sensitive ears. He'd have to be more careful in future.

Fortunately, the alarm did not sound. When Sid emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, Raskin was poring over the day's newspaper on the sofa. Sid wandered over to see what had him so engrossed.

'System Update: How Computers are Revolutionising our Industries', read one headline, accompanied by a black-and-white picture of an abra, presumably an engineer, giving a thumbs up. 'President announces new pharmaceutical investment', said another, next to a snap of the Flygon standing on some podium giving some speech, as she seemed to do.

In fact, Sid wasn't sure what the president was responsible for other than being 'the face' of apparently important matters.

Sid frowned. "Why are you reading this boring stuff, Rasky?"

"The news may be boring, but it's important," Raskin said, barely glancing up at his friend. He turned the page. "I'm keeping an eye out for anything that might endanger Fight Den. Any rumours, changes to police operations… things like that. They might be reported in here."

"But we already have all those safety measures in place."

Raskin huffed a long sigh. "I know. I'm just being cautious. You know me."

Cautious and on edge, Sid thought, concerned. Still, at least Rasky seems focused. Not hopeless like he was the night we lost our jobs. That's good.

"Hey, I'm gonna see if I can give the basement a bit more decoration," he said, grabbing his valuables.

"Will Steela let you in there?" Raskin asked.

"I think so. Hope so, anyway. You wanna come?" Sid asked, pausing at the door.

Raskin thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I still need to shower, after all." A cold gust suddenly blew in, making the nickit shiver. "And close those bloody windows."

Sid smiled sheepishly. "Gotcha."

----

Sid made sure to arrive at the White Entei just as it was opening, so Steela wouldn't be busy. He found the raboot sitting behind the bar, head in a book. Her eyes narrowed when they found him.

"Sid," she greeted. "I thought your group weren't getting here until the evening?"

"That's correct," he said. "I'm here early. Well, very early. I was wondering if I could… spruce up your basement a little. Assuming we're gonna be having a few more events here."

"Mhm," Steela said, scratching the fur under her chin. "You've already got those wooden poles and the crates down there. What else do you need?"

"I was thinking about the walls."

Steela raised her eyelids. "You want to paint them?"

"Not paint paint them… I was thinking a bit like the murals you have on the exterior here. Only, things related to fighting. Like…" Sid tried gesturing, then gave up. "It'll be easier to show you."

"I… see," Steela said slowly. "And who's the artist doing this?"

"Oh! Well…" Sid felt his face heat up, and cursed silently. Not in front of Steela. "I think I could do a decent job of it. I used to draw loads at school."

Steela smirked at that, which he didn't understand. "Here's the thing," Steela said. "I'm not really concerned about what you do to that basement. I never had much of a use for it until you boys and that lycanroc showed up. So I don't care what it ends up looking like. If it works for your enterprise, go for it."

Sid beamed. "That's great! I'm—"

"However," Steela interrupted. "I am concerned about keeping all of us safe. Because we're all in the shit if the police finds out about this, right?"

Sid nodded vigorously. "Of course."

"So I will be keeping half-an-eye on things down there. Not that I don't trust you, Sid, but… well, I don't really trust anyone." She smiled at him.

Sid smiled back. Man, she is so cool, he thought wistfully. I wonder if there's any way I can get her—oh, I know!

"Say, you could always join us one night," he said. "I feel bad for you, staying up here, serving drinks, while we're having all the fun. I'm sure we could find someone to do your work; or if there's someone already here that you trust enough..."

"I appreciate the thought," Steela said, picking up a glass to polish. "But I think my place is at this bar. It's what my parents brought me up with, and what I've done ever since they couldn't work it anymore. I couldn't imagine anything different."

Sid frowned. But you don't have to leave all of that…

Before he could reply, the bell on the door chimed and two customers walked in, a timburr and machop.

"Afternoon lads," Steela said brightly, leaning against the bar. "Day off work, is it?"

"Aye." The timburr smiled. "Got the latest construction finished yesterday. Have a few days off now."

"Ready for a night at the athletics, I take it?"

The timburr laughed. "You know me too well, Stee. Any chance we'll see you down there?"

"Don't be daft," Steela said, already pouring them drinks despite no audible order being made. "You won't catch me dead neglecting this place on a weekday." She leant unnecessarily over the bar to pass them the glasses. "Even for two boys as lovely as you."

The timburr's face reddened, and his friend laughed. "Now I know why you don't bring your partner here more often," he said.

Sid watched on as the timburr gave him an elbow in response, and the three exchanged more jibes. This really is her life, he thought. Manning the bar. Flirting with customers. She loves it. Maybe fighting just isn't for everyone.

For some reason, that brought his mind to Raskin. Sid frowned, remembering his friend's strange behaviour last time they were in the basement. Is fighting for you, Rasky?

----

Today was a Wednesday. The four days since the inaugural Fight Den had passed quickly—Raskin had enjoyed the downtime, at least.

He hadn't known that tonight's meet was even happening until Lyco announced it on Saturday night, minutes before the room cleared out in time with the city's midnight curfew.

"Next meeting is on Wednesday, same start time," she called. "Remember, don't talk about Fight Den, use the codewords, only invite people you can trust, don't be stupid… yada yada. See you then."

As the crowd began streaming out, Raskin confronted her. "Wednesday? I thought we agreed we were only doing this every Saturday?"

"That is what was agreed," Lyco shrugged. "But I had a little chat with Steela while you and Sid were occupied. She said she had made more than she usually would on a Saturday, with our rent and all those drinks she sold at the start. She was up for moving the next Den forwards, with all the same safety measures obviously. It seemed like a no-brainer."

Raskin knew he should feel pleased. This meant more money, potentially faster growth… yet he couldn't shake off a little irritation.

"You should have consulted with us first," he said.

Lyco rolled her eyes. "Really? Surely it's obvious to you both that more Dens is a good thing?"

"Seems obvious to me," Sid added helpfully. His voice was muffled from the floor; the quilava seemed to have collapsed the moment the night had ended.

Raskin sighed, then yawned widely. It wasn't worth getting heated over such a moot point. "Alright," he said at last. "Let's just clear up. Sid, you can count the money. Don't want you to pass out from exhaustion."

Cleaning up was another condition of Steela's deal. "I'm not having you fight in a cesspit. The walls here are too thin; I don't want customers to think I've got rot growing in the basement."

It was more work than the nickit expected. Picking up empty drinks cups was easy enough, but the room—and the arena in particular—was littered with fur. Expending so much energy in the cramped space must have caused a lot of shedding.

But when Sid announced their earnings—'one thousand, two hundred and a bit'—every ounce of their efforts felt worth it. Split evenly it made four hundred poké each, significantly more than what Raskin had made per week at the bank. And now they were potentially going to make that again!

----

When Raskin arrived at the pub that evening, it was already in 'Den Mode'; music pumping and the fake notice on the door. The only 'mon already there, other than Steela, were Sid, Lyco and Luis, sitting around a table to form one of the more unusual triple-acts Raskin could remember. He joined the quilava and zangoose with their beers. Lyco had an almost-empty whiskey glass.

"Rasky!" Luis greeted as he came over. He patted Sid on the back. "Your boy here's been working crazy hard downstairs. It looks insane!"

Raskin raised an eyebrow at Sid. "You've been here all day?"

Sid shrugged. "Sure. What else would I be doing?"

On a holiday? Drinking, probably, Raskin thought, then smiled. It was good to see Sid being productive. "If I'd known you were so busy, I'd have come sooner," he said.

Sid shook his head through a mouthful of liquid. "I didn't know it would take so long either. Besides, Luis helped me finish." He drained his glass and grinned. "Wanna take a look? You too, Lyco."

When Raskin got up to follow him, Steela piped up, "I did some overseeing myself, given that the basement is still part of my building. But he did well." She flashed Raskin a grin of her own.

The basement was, unsurprisingly, pitch-black as they entered. "Oh, I can light the torches now, too!" Sid said. He went around the six of them quickly and efficiently—whatever 'training' he had been up to was clearly doing good—while Raskin and Lyco climbed onto the upturned crates to get a view of it all.

He wondered how many times Sid would keep surprising him.

The images on the walls were as simple as they were striking. Anonymous claws raised in attack; an open mouth with canines bared angrily; fire and water symbols drawn with sharp, jagged edges. And on the back wall, opposite Raskin, simply the words 'FIGHT DEN'.

Sid had always been something of an artist, even though most of his 'work' Raskin remembered had been created in school classrooms. Maybe the power of these paintings was from the effect of the lighting, how the torches glimmered in the silver paint Sid had chosen. Or perhaps it was that he just didn't see this kind of art around the city. Buildings were neat, and clean and… dull.

"I had to stand on one of the crates to reach some of the high points," Sid said cheerily. "What do you think? It's not wonky anywhere, is it?"

Raskin shook his head. "I'm… amazed. This is really, really good."

"Great!" Sid said. "I left plenty of space as well in case anyone wanted to add to it. Would give it a community feel, y'know?"

Raskin nodded. "At this point, I'm willing to trust whatever ideas you have for this place."

Sid beamed. "Lyco?" he asked, glancing at her.

She grunted. "Pretty good. Imaginative. I'm with Raskin."

----

The hour before Fight Den's start time was as busy as before, the three of them greeting pokémon who arrived and simultaneously checking that they were from a trusted source. Steela remained in fine spirits, selling a hatload of drinks for her efforts.

Raskin finally headed down to the basement once the doors had been locked. It was only when the nickit stood on the crates with his two partners, looking over the whole room of pokémon, that he realised how many there were. It seemed at least as many as Saturday. He had expected significantly fewer, with it being a weeknight and mere days after the last event.

"How many of you were here on Saturday?" he asked, after welcoming everyone.

About half of the room raised a limb.

Mew, only half? Raskin thought. Word must have travelled quickly. He glanced briefly at Lyco and Sid. They both seemed more pleased than surprised.

Raskin repeated the rules he had given last time, only without any unexpected interruptions. Then, as this time he still had control over the group, he asked what he had wanted to on Saturday. "Does anyone have any questions?"

A vine from the middle of the crowd shot up. "Yes, Aster?" Raskin said.

"Who's responsible for doing up the walls?" the ivysaur said. "And can they paint my house while they're at it?"

Raskin smiled. He gestured to Sid. "Freshly painted today."

"And if anyone wants to add their own, feel free to come before opening!" Sid called out. "I want this wall to be full of stories, hard-fought battles, new abilities you learned!"

This inevitably received an uproar of delight. As if the crowd don't already love him enough, Raskin thought.

"Anything else?" Raskin said, when things had eventually calmed.

The espurr who had fought Sid on Saturday raised a paw. "Is there a limit on the number of oranberries each person is allowed?"

Ah, the berries. In the chaos of Saturday's opening, no one was made aware that there were even berries available to them. It wasn't until Sid casually took one, after his second stint in the ring of the night, that there had been a sudden flurry of demand. It made sense; the berries were like a painkiller and shot of caffeine in one. They were expensive to buy for a reason.

Raskin glanced at the others again. Sid shrugged. "I don't see why not?" he whispered. But Lyco stepped between them.

"Not only is there a limit of one," she said, "but from now on, I'll be in charge of distributing berries. We don't have the money or, let's be clear, legal position to burn through a hundred of them a night. If you have a significant injury, yes, that's understandable. Otherwise, no. But believe me, if you have any decent level of fitness—which I'd certainly hope so—you'll recover from hits faster than you might think. Especially as you get more practice."

Raskin gave her a pointed look. How do you know all this? he thought, not for the first time. Lyco didn't meet it.

"That's why we want to get as many pokémon fighting as possible!" Sid said, just as the crowd looked disappointed. "So, who won the last fight on Saturday? Ah, meowth, that's right! And who will dare challenge her first?"

There was some movement within the crowd before a feisty-looking plusle stepped out into the ring. Then Sid called for Bushu to hit the drums, and the evening's fighting began.

Raskin mostly watched from afar with Lyco, taking on announcing duties whenever the lycanroc was busy. The quality of fighting was not noticeably better than Saturday, he noted, though the significant number of new faces did not make that surprising. The majority of pokémon just threw themselves at their opponent, whether it be with fists, claws or whole bodies. Several employed biting, as Chaka had done in Oldden. However, whereas the raticate's fangs had grown and sharpened somehow in using his attack, the other pokémon's efforts here were much more rudimentary, and left nowhere near as much of an impact as Chaka had left on Aster.

Aster could still launch seeds from his bud as he had done against Chaka; but after using the attack twice, he seemed worn out from it and mostly carried on with just his vines. A couple of fire-types produced elemental attacks, but they weren't as effective as Sid's had been. One psyduck's use of water was successful only in making the poochyena it faced slip on the wet ground.

Sid got just as stuck in as before. A high point came when he found himself facing off against the marshtomp that had been too strong for him in their last fight. This time, there was no stopping him. Even when the marshtomp landed a jet of icy water in his face—which Raskin himself winced at, knowing how painful that would be for Sid—the quilava battled on. His fire attacks didn't have much impact, but through gritted teeth and a few war cries, he finally wrestled the marshtomp out of the ring, before collapsing himself. Luis and a couple others carried him aloft from the arena.

About two hours in, Lyco suddenly jolted next to Raskin. He looked at her, confused. "What is it?"

She didn't reply, so Raskin followed her gaze into the ring. A fight had just ended, and the nidoran stepping in to challenge a victorious riolu wore a familiar, cocky smirk.

"…Tyler?" Raskin said.

"It is, isn't it?" Lyco said. "I take it you didn't invite him."

"I haven't even seen him since we went to the mine."

Lyco growled softly. "Let's just see what he does. No sense in barging in straight away."

Tyler, as it turned out, was quite nifty.

It made sense from what Raskin knew: there being a proper fighting culture where Tyler lived in Oldden, as well as the ease with which the nidoran had outfought himself and Sid when they had first met.

The riolu he fought here had more meat on her bones and stood a good foot taller than Tyler. But he just used that to his advantage. He ducked under the riolu's punches almost gracefully, then kicked or bit her lower half while she was unbalanced. The riolu quickly realised that tactic wasn't working, so she ran at Tyler instead. He just smiled as she approached. At the last second, he turned so that she faced the spines on his back. Like the rest of his body, the spines were smaller than the average nidoran's, but in this case their stunted shape seemed to have merely made them sharper.

The riolu howled with pain as she hit them, collapsing to the ground. Tyler circled her, scratched her several times while she was down, then forced her out of the ring with a decisive tackle.

It perhaps helped that a number of the previous fights had been sloppy, mistake-ridden affairs; nevertheless, the nidoran's success was met with a wild scream of applause. Tyler stood there for a moment, chin raised high in satisfaction. Then his gaze settled on the upturned crates.

"So, I been watching things here for a lil' while," he said, projecting his voice, "and I'm wondering what the hell you two're doing all the way up there. Raskin, wasn't you the one pushing for this from the start? Why don't you get down 'ere?"

Raskin immediately felt shivers down his tail. "We're here to keep an eye on things," he said. "Someone has to do it."

"Pssh. You don't need two of ya for that! Hey, I'm allowed to challenge someone now, right?" Tyler looked around the room, which gave some assenting nods.

"A'right then." Tyler's eyes glimmered with menace. "Come on down, nickit! I think it's about time we all saw what you can do!"

Raskin's heart sank.

He didn't need to look at Lyco this time to know that refusing was not an option. Some pokémon had already murmured their agreement with Tyler's words. They did want to see what he was about. After all, he was the organiser, the one who told them how they were allowed to fight.

Aware that fifty pairs of eyes were on him, he quickly dropped down to the floor. His limbs almost buckled; the muscles seemed to have stopped responding. He felt his mouth tremble.

Be strong, be strong! he told himself, alarmed at the panic already racing through him. He had found a way out of this with Sid the first time; he could do it again. He swallowed, composed himself, then made his way towards the ring, lifting his head up to meet Tyler's.

"I'm ready," he said, before the nidoran could get the first word in.

Tyler smiled, smug as ever. "Alrighty. Count us in, Lyco?"

Raskin knew he had to concentrate, form a plan, even if that was just to have a respectable defeat. But he couldn't stop thinking back to the last time when Sid had tackled him; seeing the police officer snarl, the light beam from its palm, the pain that reduced him to screams…

He heard Lyco counting. The drum pounding. Tyler twitching his hind legs in anticipation.

He found himself panting, barely able to breathe. His eyes stung, chest ached, ears rang. Then he saw Tyler sprint towards him.

"S-STOP!"

At the sound of his cry, the world seemed to freeze. Tyler stopped, straightened up, looking at him in bewilderment. Sid poked his head out of the crowd. "Rasky?" he murmured.

Raskin couldn't move. Couldn't hold back the sobs that started coming.

He really couldn't do it. He couldn't even face being in a fight, let alone do it himself. Where could he go now? What would these pokémon think, seeing one of their leaders disintegrate at the mere threat of fighting?

Suddenly, he found himself plucked into the air and squealed involuntarily. Twisting his head, he saw Lyco's head towering over him. She marched him out of the ring, through the stunned crowd and towards the basement stairs.

"W-what are you doing?" Raskin whispered. "Don't throw me out of here, please!"

"Shut up," Lyco muttered. "Sid, take care of things for the last hour," she called, making sure the quilava gave her a nod of approval, which he hesitantly did.

She waited until they were clear of the crowd, heading up the stairs, before adding, "I'm not throwing you out of your own club, Raskin. I'm saving your ass while it's still possible."
 
Last edited:

Dragonfree

Moderator
Staff
Location
Iceland
Pronouns
she/her/hers
Partners
  1. butterfree
  2. mightyena
  3. charizard
  4. scyther-mia
  5. vulpix
  6. slugma
  7. chinchou
Hey there! I'm here for Catnip, reviewing chapter one.

There were few sounds Raskin could imagine that were so dissonant and demonic as those which constituted his alarm.
Ah, I see you're going for relatability in the first sentence.

I enjoy the opening setup scene here, showing a bit of Raskin and Sid and their interactions. It feels like a very normal human-esque roommate situation.

With that done, he grabbed his wallet and keys from his room and stuffed them in his bag. He sat up, using his front paws to fasten the bag’s single clip around his stomach, with its contents held tightly to his side to prevent it bouncing around when he walked on all-fours. Raskin was adept enough at moving on two feet, as were most quadruped ‘mon in Deepden, which owed to the bipedal training they received almost straight from hatching. Still, all-fours remained more comfortable.
This struck me as a little infodumpy - you've been doing a nice job not stopping the narration to explain things to us up to this point, so it stuck out.

Raskin forced a smile. “Morning, Locki.” She was a new face at work, and their manager had chosen Raskin to help show her the ropes for the first couple of weeks. Having gotten to know the skitty fairly well, Raskin was sure that the manager had done it purely to irritate him.
Locki doesn't actually seem obnoxious at all, so I'm interpreting this as characterization for Raskin.

He had to squeeze up tightly between two passengers on the arcanine’s back, and once they set off he found the tail of a minccino uncomfortably close to his face.

Raskin huffed, trying to take his mind off the discomfort.
Enjoy this detail of him being uncomfortable with invasions of his personal space. Definitely getting a nice sense of this character.

Yeah, Locki continues to be absolutely not obnoxious at all. Raskin, it's okay for someone to be learning Excel for the first time, especially in a time period when computers are apparently new.

Pokémon having existential dread over being put out of work by computers sure is a thing I was not ever expecting to read about in a fanfic. :P

Athletics was a strange entity to him. It was tremendously popular throughout all of Deepden, and he understood why.
This reads a bit oddly because it feels contradictory - first saying it's strange to him and then immediately moving on to saying he understands its popularity without any indicator that it's a counterpoint to what was just said. I'd expect some form of "but..." or "Sure, ...""

I did feel the sequence about Raskin making his way to work dragged a little; I think it spent a fair bit of time on things that were mostly pretty mundane and not super interesting. It might be worth considering cutting it down so that we skip from Raskin leaving the house to Raskin at work, grumbling about having to help Locki as usual, with maybe a mention that he was already on edge after the Arcanine ride was more crowded than usual and this Minccino's tail was all up in his business - and his reluctance to run could either be established later or perhaps be tied in with the discussion on athletics. The other worldbuilding to come up in the interim could almost definitely also be established later. I say this because I feel like the work scene is where we get to the point, by establishing Raskin's worries about being made redundant by computers, feeling he's wasting his life and needs to get out of here. It gives Raskin a goal and motivation, and I think the story would be tighter if that happened a bit earlier, to properly hook the reader, without sacrificing the core introduction to who he is and what his daily life is like.

He suddenly looked like a different pokémon; one ready to fight back.
This isn't quite correct semicolon usage; you'll want a comma there, or possibly a colon.

“D’you reckon we’ll get a street fight?” a scraggy asked, her head pressed against the window.

“I hope so,” Luis replied, rubbing his paws together. “Been too long since I’ve seen a good one.”

Oh… so nobody wants to stop them, Raskin realised. Why is that?
Hmm, it sounds like Raskin has never seen a fight before, but his coworkers are treating it like this is something exciting they experience with some regularity. Is there a reason for this? I would be concluding Raskin's just new here while this is a regular occurrence for the senior staff, but in the previous scene it definitely sounded like Raskin's been working here for a while. So where's everyone else been seeing fights in the street, if this is a first for Raskin?

They had tried following a recipe a few nights ago for a ‘herby vegetable stew’. The recipe had served four, but even though they halved all the ingredients, it had been far too much for the two of them. Raskin was mystified as to why more recipes didn’t specify the size of pokémon they counted a serving for.
Bwahaha, oh dear. That's kind of a good question, though: why wouldn't recipes in this universe specify the size of Pokémon they're for?

I quite enjoy the way you portray Sid and Raskin's friendship in the dinner scene. I knew where the conversation was going already, but seeing Raskin who's been so generally grumpy and cynical just really care when Sid is down is very sweet.

That thought made Raskin pause; sent shivers down his spine.
You want a comma here.

pokémon that could crush his little body in the snap of the wrist.
I think you're mixing metaphors here - what is "crushing someone's body in the snap of the wrist"? I think you want something like "crush his entire body with their little finger", or "crush his little body with a flick of their wrist", or "crush his little body in the blink of an eye", unless this is just some figure of speech I've never heard of.

He recalled seeing his father in the visitors room, watching the hope slowly being crushed from him with each successive visit he made. “No matter what happens,” Raskin had said, “I’ll be here for you when you’re released. I’ll make something of my life. I promise.”
Love this - you had that little mention earlier that Raskin's parents weren't in any position to support him, and then this, and it's so much more evocative than if you'd just said his father was in prison. It makes sense it's something Raskin doesn't like to think too much about, and kind of skirts over the thought until here when he actually thinks about prison. Just "watching the hope slowly being crushed from him with each successive visit" packs so much into such a small bit and I really dig it.

Raskin considered for a moment.
I don't think you can just say a person "considers" without an object; pretty sure you need "considered it", "considered that", etc.

Well, this was interesting! This story is completely different from any other fanfic I've read - sort of a Zootopia feel but with Pokémon, with Pokémon living in a modern humanlike society, but with a history of being wild Pokémon, still with those battle instincts bubbling underneath. I'm pretty tickled by the concept of a couple of down-on-their-luck Pokémon starting an underground fighting society in that world; you really get the sense that this is something a lot of Pokémon are yearning for here because of that instinct, which adds an extra layer to that concept, and I genuinely don't know where you might be going with this from here! The chapter successfully made me want to see where it's headed.

I also thought your characterization was pretty strong; you built up Raskin well as this restless guy longing for something different, and his caring for Sid and the snippet about his dad helped give him some depth and keep him grounded and sympathetic. There's a lot of nice grounding in mundane worldbuilding detail, too, which I appreciate.

The biggest issue with it, I think, is that the opening once Raskin leaves the house feels slow, as I went into a bit. Worldbuilding is nice, but I think for this bit you were frontloading it a bit too early, getting into too much mundanity before we properly get a reason to care. I think the chapter progresses nicely once Raskin makes it to work - it's just the pacing of that particular bit that started to lose me a little.

I had no real idea what I was expecting here but you successfully hooked me, so nice job all in all.
 

TheGOAT

🗿
Location
Houston, Texas
Pronouns
Him/his
Partners
  1. serperior
  2. alolatales-goat
Chapter 6: Blazing

Raskin stood outside the White Entei, rubbing his ears anxiously. He looked out across the cobbled street for the linoone they were waiting for. The final piece of their preparation.

The week had passed in a whirlwind. It was only on Monday morning, he reflected, that he had wanted nothing to do with another organised fight. It was only Tuesday when he had feared that Lyco would elude him for good, and with that would go any reasonable hopes of setting up a proper fight society. Now, the following Saturday, those struggles felt a long way away.

On Wednesday, he and Sid had met Lyco again, underneath the Founding Oak as they agreed. First they’d needed to find a venue, and Lyco had to his surprise asked them to pick their brains before suggesting anything herself.

“The criteria shouldn’t be too hard to fulfil,” she said. “We need somewhere with a room that’s hidden to onlookers. The room itself will need to be fairly big. And most importantly, the people owning it have to be ones you trust.”

Raskin and Sid exchanged looks.

“I think there’s a basement at the White Entei,” Sid suggested. “I’ve been going there since I was too young to drink, so I know the owners pretty well. They’re sound.”

With that in mind, they left for the pub straight away. They found the owner, a raboot named Steela, serving at the bar, and suggested their plan when she found a spare moment.

Steela’s response was one that Raskin was growing used to now. Surprise, even laughter initially; greater seriousness when she realised that they weren’t fooling around; and finally, when a deal had been tentatively agreed, a sudden excitement for it all.

The pub seemed ideal for a number of reasons. The basement Sid remembered was as large as the bar upstairs, once it had been cleared of clutter. Steela still expressed worries that if too much noise was coming from underground—which looked likely if the snubbull Bushu was to return with his drum—it would be noticeable from upstairs, and perhaps even from outside the pub. The solution they came up with was to turn up the radio that normally played in the bar to an almost deafening noise, enough to drown out any loud bangs and crashes.

That then left a potentially awkward problem of the pub being very loud, but empty. To work around that, Steela said she could hang a notice on the pub to say it had been booked for a private party. The building’s exterior was covered with painted murals of its namesake, a white Entei, or at least how legend believed Entei’s body had looked. That meant that no one could get a good look inside the pub from afar; they would only see if they peered right through a gap in the murals. And, given the pub was clearly signposted as being unavailable, there was little chance of that happening.

Raskin caught sight of a long, pale shape across the street, and let out the breath he’d been unknowingly holding. The bulging sack across the linoone’s midriff made it much slower than the species usually was. She almost stumbled up to Raskin before unloading the sack with a sigh of relief.

A piece of paper was stuck to the sack. The linoone picked it up. “Fifty oranberries?”

“That’s right.”

The linoone nodded wearily. “500 poké, then,” she said. As Raskin passed over some coins, she added, “These for a batch of health cocktails or something?”

“Something like that,” Raskin said sheepishly. “The boss is trying some new stuff. Not sure it’s for me.”

The linoone snorted. “I’m with you there.”

As she trotted away, Raskin allowed himself a smile. I’m getting good at this lying business . Then he tried to lift the sack, and his smile disappeared at once.

It took a combined shift from him and Lyco to get it down the basement’s many steps and into one end of the room, next to the rest of their first aid supplies: bandages, disinfectant, water, and lots of cloth.

He was surprised the linoone hadn’t asked about the sheer quantity of berries they had ordered. It seemed excessive to Raskin when Lyco had sketched out the numbers, taking up about one eighth of their entire savings alone. But the lycanroc had been adamant.

“They’re an investment—people won’t need the berries unless they’re really hurt,” she said.

“Then why are we buying so many?” Raskin demanded.

Lyco rolled her eyes. “Bulk-buying is cheaper, obviously. Basic economics.”

While they moved the berries, Sid was busy placing a series of cylindrical logs around the room’s corners. Though the basement did have a single, dim light bulb hanging from its centre, they had agreed that the atmosphere created by the flaming torches last time had to stay. It was another stroke of luck that there was a fan inside one of the walls that Steela could switch on for them, making sure they wouldn’t suffocate from the fumes. Lyco had also drawn a fighting ring in the middle of the room with chalk once again, though this time they had painted over it in white so it wouldn’t rub off.

Next to the first aid equipment was a couple of upturned wooden crates. Raskin had pointed out that in Oldden’s packed room, he had barely managed to keep track of what was happening around him, which they would need to do in the event of crowd trouble. The makeshift podium allowed for that, plus it was a place to deliver announcements and anything else that required the whole room’s attention.

“This all sounds good,” Raskin said as they sat in the White Entei, having worked out how the room should look. “But we still need to get people in.”

“That’s the easy part, isn’t it?” Sid frowned. “You saw how much interest there was last time.”

“And that interest was what lost us our jobs,” Raskin reminded him. “We have to find a way of doing things more secretively, to protect ourselves.”

The three of them thought for a moment. Lyco sipped a glass of tap water—the whiskey had been eschewed this time.

“There’s always the post,” Sid said. “Nobody reads that except the ‘mon receiving it.”

“The post…” Raskin smiled. “Yes, that could work. Sending letters to the ‘mon we know would be interested, and telling them to only spread the word via further letters.”

Lyco hummed a disapproving note. “Can we really trust people to communicate purely via letters, and say nothing face-to-face? That’s not how anyone does things.”

“Well, if we don’t want word to get out, what other option is there?” Raskin asked.

Another contemplative silence.

“Codewords,” Sid said.

Both Raskin and Lyco gave him bemused looks.

“I-I mean, don’t call this thing ‘Fight Den’, because then anyone overhearing might get suspicious! Use a name that wouldn’t mean anything to people.”

Raskin smiled. “The White Entei? That is where they’re going, after all.”

Lyco shook her head. “We don’t want the name of our secret venue getting thrown around everywhere. We need a word similar to ‘fight’, but different enough. We could call it… a ‘hangout’?”

The way it sounded as if she had never said the word before made Raskin snort into his glass. “Sorry,” he said, being met with the lycanroc’s typical glare. “I think that’s good.”

“There could still be room for your letters,” Lyco added. “We can start off by sending them to ‘mon you know would be interested; those you trust the most. Give them instructions on how to further spread the word—codewords to use and such. If they’re the ones getting the word out, it makes our jobs easier. Just make sure you trust them.”

----

The downside of their careful messaging, Raskin reflected, as he sat on one of their upturned crates, was that they had no indication of numbers for tonight. And there was no way they could make this work without enough pokémon coming through the door.

He checked his watch. Eight o’clock. One hour until opening.

Sid climbed up onto the crate to sit beside him. “How’re you feeling?” the quilava asked, appearing to rock back and forth slightly with excitement. The anticipation of tonight seemed to be affecting him very differently to Raskin.

Raskin sighed. “Anxious. Nervous.”

Sid laughed. “Typical Rasky, always worrying. You know deep down that this is gonna be a cinch.”

The nickit shrugged. Given over half of his and Sid’s redundancy money—which they had only received yesterday afternoon—had already been spent, Sid’s jovial attitude felt implausible. “Maybe.”

“So… remind me. You’re gonna start us off, right?” Sid asked.

Raskin nodded. “I’ll get everyone’s attention, then run over the basic rules.” He patted the notebook which he had been memorising non-stop for the past two days. No one wanted to see a notebook at Fight Den.

“And then, what, we get the fights underway?”

“Yep. I guess get two volunteers from the crowd to go first, and hopefully it’ll move from there.”

Sid shook his head, smirking. “What?” Raskin demanded.

“You say ‘hopefully’ too much, ‘mon. Have a little faith, eh?” Sid beat his paws together, jumping back off the crates. “Alright, I’m gonna check on upstairs. Less-than-an-hour-to-go-hype!”

----

To Raskin’s relief, pokémon soon began arriving in good time. He was delighted to see Bushu again, and arriving with him was Luis. The zangoose had somehow puffed up his fur to give him a build more like a hariyama than the lithe form that was underneath. To Raskin’s moderate surprise, Aster had also returned, along with his deerling partner.

“I wondered if you might have had enough fighting after Oldden,” Raskin said to the ivysaur, as the two of them paid their entry fees. Twenty poké this time. The increase in price felt justified for all the extra effort they were going to.

“Are you kidding?” Aster scoffed. “That was so much fun! I’m looking forward to being part of the crowd this time. From what I’ve heard, it was crazy!”

Though the upstairs was hardly a place for conversation over the roaring music, Steela was offering cut prices on spirits at the bar, which got a lot of takers. At one point, she caught Raskin’s eye and raised her eyelids as if to say, ‘ this is more profitable than I expected!’ Raskin hoped that might make her reduce her rent rates for the future.

Gradually, the crowd moved towards the basement. Raskin waited until five minutes past nine before instructing Steela to lock the front door. One thing he had found he and Lyco did have in common was a shared hatred for unclear start times. In all their letters of invitation, they made it clear to be there for nine, no later—otherwise pokémon would undoubtedly turn up half an hour late and think it was normal. It made deciding when to lock up easier, too.

He led the last arrivals downstairs, and was struck—just as at Oldden—by the sheer number of pokémon present. The codewords and secrecy warnings they had given had not deterred the fifty-odd heads he counted.

He was also surprised, and confused, at why the side torches had not been lit, and the dim electric light remained on. Had Sid forgotten?

Looking around the room, he found the quilava in conversation with a growlithe and salandit, gesturing avidly with his paws. “Sid,” Raskin began, making his way over.

“The torches?” Sid grinned. “I’ve got it sorted. You should get up on the podium already!”

Raskin frowned at him, but Sid’s look of conviction suggested he knew exactly what he was doing. Or he was just an idiot, but Raskin gave his friend more credit than that.

He made his way over to the crates, noticing with amusement that not a single pokémon stood inside the central fighting ring, despite its lack of action. Lyco was already sitting on a crate.

“Everything ready?” she said.

“I hope—I mean, yes.”

The lycanroc nodded. “Make sure to remind them of the importance of keeping this secret.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Lyco had been curiously distant from much of their work since they had laid out a plan. Once they had identified the White Entei, she had only dropped in the occasional word in the meeting with Steela, and had largely given him and Sid instructions on what supplies to get, rather than do it herself. Even now, with the thing actually happening , she seemed content to take a back seat.

But she does care, Raskin thought, thinking back to what she had said at the mine. Perhaps it’ll just take time to come out in the open.

He stood up, drawing in a breath. He had prepared himself to shout for everyone’s attention, but most ‘mon seemed to realise this the moment he moved, conversations trailing off. He waited for the room to draw to a hush before speaking.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome to Fight Den! Hopefully, you’re all here because you want to fight—”

The room erupted with screams of delight, Bushu’s drum thudding underneath.

Raskin smiled, letting it run for a moment before holding up a paw. Once again, the room quietened. It’s like I’m a god, he thought, amazed.

“Although I am as excited as any of you,” he said, “I must lay down some ground rules before we begin. The first rule of Fight Den is: you do not talk about Fight Den. It is imperative that we keep this society a secret if it is to continue. Any communication even slightly related to Fight Den must be done either inside these walls; using the codewords you should all know already—please talk to us if you do not; or sent via private post. However, please do not send post to myself or my colleague, Sid Quilava, unless it is an emergency.

“Rule two: as much as we’re all here to have fun, things could very easily get out of control. The only pokémon allowed to fight are the two in the ring.”

This was a rule Lyco had been very strong about. “We can’t have a repeat of what happened in Oldden,” she’d said.

“Well, this is a much bigger room,” Sid replied. “And it’s made of stone or... something…”

“I don’t mean holes in the wall,” Lyco groaned. “A fight practically broke out in the crowd . It was chaos. And there might be double the people in this place. The only place they can fight is in the ring.”

That led nicely into the next rule they had devised. “Rule three,” Raskin continued. “The winner of any fight can stay on for the next fight if they wish to. They may also request to fight a specific pokémon in attendance, as long as this pokémon agrees to it. Rule four: a fight ends either when a pokémon is pushed out of the ring, they stay down for more than five seconds, or they surrender. Any pokémon that continues fighting when the fight is clearly over will be banned, no questions asked. “

He paused, and noticed with alarm that the complete attention the crowd had been giving him was fading fast. There were mutters amongst groups, pokémon shifting restlessly. Some were even moving to the sides of the room, away from him. Why? I haven’t finished yet! he thought. I’ll have to get this done quickly.

“Rule five: if you are seriously hurt, you must not leave the building until we let you. Walking out with bleeding limbs would be far too conspicuous. And finally, rule six—”

The room was suddenly plunged into total darkness. The electric bulb had gone out.

Raskin froze, horrified. The murmuring below him intensified ten-fold, coupled with a few yelps. Then a voice cried out: “FIRE!”

Six bursts of fire appeared at once, spread out across the room. After a second, the flames settled and continued to burn. The torches had been simultaneously lit, and they immediately transformed the room’s atmosphere with the flickering, shadowy lights they threw.

Sid, who had been at the back of the room, strode forward until he stood in the middle of the fighting ring. “Rule six,” he yelled, “is that no one leaves tonight without having a fight!”

The crowd howled and whooped with delight. Some even applauded, like they’d just witnessed some display of talent. Raskin was amazed.

“And,” Sid went on, “that starts with—” he gave Raskin the briefest, delighted glance, “—me and Raskin here!”

Time seemed to stand still.

Raskin could only stare at Sid in horror, ice seeping into his bones. He had no time to prepare for this. No time to steel himself. Why had Sid not told him he would do this? Why?

Next to him, Lyco gave his shoulder a jerk. “You should get down there,” she said, in a tone that left no room for argument.

And Raskin knew she was right. Sid had set this up perfectly. He couldn’t disappoint all these pokémon now.

He carefully stepped down from the crate and walked towards the ring, trying to put on a calm face. A few pokémon he walked through patted him on the head or back, which strangely did boost his confidence a little.

Sid waited in the centre of the ring for him. “Alright, mate?” he grinned, keeping his voice down this time.

“You could have told me this in advance,” Raskin replied, doing his best to steady his own voice.

“Pssh. I only got the idea ten minutes ago!”

With that, the quilava turned and padded to one corner of the ring. Raskin sighed, but did likewise. He had no choice.

“Lyco,” Sid called, looking to her on the podium. “Could you set us off for the night?”

Lyco simply nodded. It was impossible to tell from her expression if she was pleased with this arrangement. “On your marks,” she began. Bushu started playing a rhythm, slowly getting faster.

Raskin’s mind was racing. What do I do? I don’t have any experience with fighting! Well, I suppose no one does, but everyone else seems to at least have the right mindset!

“Get set…”

Sid got onto all-fours, his back legs tensed.

He’s going to come straight at me, Raskin thought. That’s what he did with Tyler, right? I should get closer to the centre so I don’t get pushed out immediately. Isn’t that what I want, though? No, the crowd wouldn’t have it if I surrendered easily—

“FIGHT!”

Sid hurtled towards him like a runaway kit. Get away! some part of Raskin screamed. He dashed forwards, intending to swerve around Sid, then he saw the quilava’s legs leave the ground in front of him. Before he could think, he threw himself to the floor and rolled. He felt himself knock something.

The crowd ‘ooohed’. Raskin scrambled back to his feet. Sid was down. He had tripped him up!

Sid exhaled heavily, then got up and spun to face Raskin again. “Not bad, Rasky,” he said, still grinning. Then, rapidly changing his stance, the quilava dove forwards again. Low this time.

Raskin was too surprised to react in time. Sid led with his shoulder, and it cracked square into his stomach. He fell backwards.

“You can’t arrest him! He’s done nothing wrong! He’s—”

He ran at the officers desperately. The lucario held up a glowing palm, and suddenly he was struck with a sledgehammer of force, throwing him up and across the living room.

He could hardly breathe, hardly move his limbs. He had just enough strength to turn and see the officers moving away, his father held between them, and gasp, “No… no… don’t go…”



“Rasky?”

Raskin opened his eyes. He was on the ground. Shivering. The crowd had been cheering when he was knocked down, but now they murmured and looked around at each other, as if they knew something was wrong.

Raskin could sense Sid leaning over him. Thinking quickly, he got back to his feet, hoping that moving would hide his shakiness.

“You good?” Sid asked.

“Yeah.” Raskin smiled. “I don’t wanna push myself too much though. We need to be healthy enough to watch over things. Shouldn’t leave all that work to Lyco.”

Sid nodded slowly. “Right. I… guess I should drop out too, then—”

“No, you don’t have to!” Raskin said. “You’re perfect, Sid. Keep going. The two of us will be enough.”

The quilava looked concerned, but after a moment he smiled. “Alright then. Thanks.”

The moment Raskin put a foot outside the ring, the quilava roared, “Who’s next? You’re taking on a reigning champion here!” That seemed to rouse the crowd again.

Raskin slipped and sidestepped his way through the crowd, heading straight back to the crates. No one paid him much mind other than more pats on the back, which seemed good—they hadn’t noticed anything amiss with how the fight had ended.

He wasn’t used to being hit like that—not surprising, given he hadn’t fought since he was kit. But why must it remind him so horribly of that day the police came to their door? It was years ago now. Had he been repressing those memories that much?

As he jumped to get on a crate, his front paw trembled and slipped away. Just before he could yelp, Lyco stuck out a long arm to help him up.

Raskin gave her a sheepish smile. “Thanks.” He just got a grunt in response.

Eager to take his mind off the past, he sat next to Lyco—there wasn’t anywhere else to sit on the crates—to see what was happening in the ring. A few pokémon had been jostling to be the next one to face Sid, but the winner had been, much to Raskin’s puzzlement, an espurr.

The ‘mon seemed tiny in her corner of the arena, just a pale grey ball amidst a sea of bodies surrounding her. Yet she faced Sid with a look of intense focus. Not that the quilava was at all put off.

“Get us rolling, Lyco!” he called, and the lycanroc duly obliged again.

Sid started exactly the same way, sprinting at the espurr. She was tensed at first, her hands held out in front of her for some reason. But when Sid drew near, she lowered them and sidestepped past the quilava with unexpected speed.

“Raskin,” Lyco said.

Raskin jumped. It felt like the first time Lyco had called him by name, rather than ‘you’, or a jab of a paw.

“Something happened to you down there,” she said. “You didn’t want to fight.”

“Well, I didn’t have much time to prepare for it—”

“Let’s not lie to each other here.” She turned to him, her crimson eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head. I don’t expect you to tell me, either. But you realise that, as one of the leaders of Fight Den, it would be helpful for you to be seen fighting now and again?”

Raskin scowled. “We’re putting our balls on the line just by running this. Everyone should know that. I don’t see why I need to get involved with the fighting side too.”

Lyco’s gaze lingered a moment longer, then she flicked her mane away. “Whatever. Your choice.”

Raskin glanced at the ring. Sid was still on the offensive, though he wasn’t rushing into attacks with the same frantic energy as before.

“You’re not exactly one to talk, anyway,” Raskin said. “Why aren’t you getting involved?”

Lyco sighed, drawing up her legs to herself. “Remember when we met in Oldden, you wondered why I was limping after throwing those rocks at Tyler?”

Raskin nodded. “You said it took a lot out of you, or something.”

“I wasn’t lying. An attack like that should be a rock-type’s bread and butter. And it used to be for me, too.” She paused. “I have an… unusual disorder. Energy Fatigue Syndrome is what the doctors called it. What would be a breeze for most pokémon, ends up tiring me out like that .” She snapped her claws for emphasis.

“I… I didn’t know that,” Raskin stuttered. He wasn’t sure what to say. “Sorry.”

Lyco shrugged. “You couldn’t have known.”

A sudden roar from the crowd gave Raskin a chance to break the uncomfortable exchange. Looking to the arena, he was met with the confusing sight of Sid on the ground, groaning in pain, while the espurr stood in the centre of the ring, almost statuesque, and with barely a scratch on her.

“What happened?” Raskin asked.

“Wasn’t watching too closely,” Lyco said. “You were distracting me.”

With a sigh, Raskin jumped down into the crowd and asked the same question to Luis, who was nearby.

“Espurr hasn’t been doing anything other than staying out of Sid’s way,” the zangoose said, his eyes fixed on the arena, where Sid was getting to his feet again. “But just now, she raised an arm in front of her, and Sid got thrown backwards without anything touching him!”

Sid’s flame sacs were spitting fire. He tensed his legs as if to run at the espurr again, but instead lurched forward and spat… Raskin assumed he meant it to be fire, but all that appeared was a dark smoke, as had happened against Tyler.

It did distract the espurr, however, as she waved her arms to try and get a clear view of the quilava. Sid took the opportunity to go for another tackle, but the espurr saw him just in time, rolling to the side.

Immediately, she raised her arm again towards Sid’s unbalanced form. The air between the two shimmered, as if obscured by glass, then there was a bang, Sid cried out, stumbled back, and finally collapsed to his haunches.

Amazing, Raskin thought. I had no idea that kind of attack even existed.

Sid remained down, coughing faintly, and the crowd began chanting, knowing he had five seconds to recover.

“One, two, three, four—”

Sid’s flame sacs suddenly ignited like a match dropped into a bucket of oil. Parts of the crowd on his edge of the ring cried out in alarm and backed away. Sid leapt to his feet again, as Raskin waited for the fire to settle.

But it didn’t. His head and rear were fully on fire.

Sid opened his mouth again, his face glowing against the fire’s light, and this time a fireball came at the espurr, as high as her body. She scrambled away from it—as did the crowd behind her—and dove away just in time, leaving the fire sizzling to embers against the basement wall. But Sid wasn’t off-balance like she now was. He launched himself at her, leading with his flaming head.

His tackle flung the psychic-‘mon far out of the arena, crashing into a group of watchers. Thankfully her eyes remained open as she landed—she looked more dazed than anything else.

The rest of the crowd roared their appreciation for Sid, though Raskin could also pick up some murmurings from close-by.

“How’s his body on fire like that?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“I thought what that espurr was doing was crazy enough…”


“Quilava is the winner!” Lyco called out from the podium. “And if he is staying on—”

“You bet I’m staying on!” Sid cried. He looked around the crowd, grinning delightedly. He was like a beacon with his flaming body. “Who’s up next?” There was a noticeable hesitation in the crowd this time before a marshtomp stepped forward.

Once Lyco had set them off, Sid wasted no time in launching another fireball at the marshtomp. He didn’t try to get out of the way as the espurr had, simply shielding himself with his thick arms. As water-types could do, the ‘mon absorbed its heat without visible difficulty. When Sid then began his trademark charge forwards, the marshtomp met him with a tackle of his own.

Both ‘mon were sent sprawling, though Sid seemed to catch the brunt of the impact. He got up and tried another tackle, but moved slower than before, and the marshtomp easily blocked him again. This time, Sid’s flames extinguished the moment he hit the ground.

He propped his head up on his elbows, took one look at the marshtomp already standing, ready for more, and held an arm up in surrender. The second wind he had found to defeat the espurr had been only that. But he limped out of the ring to enormous applause, with virtually every person Raskin’s side of the room leaning in to high-five or fist-bump or slap him on the back.

Raskin waited at the back of the crowd for the quilava to come through. When he finally emerged, Raskin got a jolt at seeing him no longer smiling. His eyes were wide and unfocused, as if he’d just been electrocuted.

“Sid?” Raskin said. “Are you okay?”

Sid nodded, stepping gingerly away from the crowd towards Lyco and the crates. A helioptile had taken his place in the ring, which was now side-stepping around the marshtomp carefully.

“I’m just… trying to process what happened,” Sid said at last.

“The whole setting yourself on fire thing?” Raskin said, smiling. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“You didn’t— I didn’t know!” Sid exclaimed. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before! The espurr’s mind attacks, the flame sacs, the… the fireballs I made! I…I…”

To Raskin’s surprise, Sid suddenly threw his arms around him. His fur was almost burning hot. “This Fight Den,” Sid said, “what we’ve created… it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. And it’s all thanks to you, Rasky.”

“Don’t be silly,” Raskin chuckled, patting him gingerly on the back. “I’m glad you pushed me to go ahead with it. Your fur is very hot.”

“Oh! Sorry.” Sid moved away, feeling the fur himself. “Huh. That’s new too… Well anyway, I’m gonna head back into the crowd. Don’t wanna miss anything, y’know?”

Raskin nodded, but as Sid began walking away, he remembered something else. “Sid!” he called.

The quilava turned back, confused.

“Uh… why did you make that first fight happen between us? Was it just a crazy impulse?”

Sid smirked. “It was a crazy impulse, but that wasn’t why. I thought that some of the ‘mon coming in here, ones that don’t know us well, might think all we care about is their money. Especially given we—well, you and Lyco—were on that podium while they’re all bunched together down here. So, what better way to show what we’re about than by kicking the whole thing off ourselves?”

Raskin smiled. It confirmed what he had already hoped. He had forever been frustrated with Sid for his rashness, forgetfulness, even downright stupidity at times. But when it came to these fights, the quilava seemed to possess such an innate understanding of how to be entertaining, play to the crowd, get everyone onside. He had found his calling.

Sensing something behind him, Raskin turned to find Lyco looking down at him from the podium, her eyes narrowed. He knew what she was thinking, and sadly, he agreed.

If only I could feel the same.


Chapter 6 Review

— I liked how you handled the flashback sequence at the start of the chapter, beginning with Saturday but running through the week’s events leading up to then. It set the stage really well.

— Oof Sid. Oof. He lost some endearment points for putting Raskin on the spot like that.

— Starting to see the clear differences between Sid and Raskin’s interests. Sid’s a better fit to be the face of Fight Den; Raskin meanwhile seems better suited for a hands-off role. I have a feeling it won’t be that simple, though :)

— Loved when Sid came in and announced rule 6. I thought he was gonna blow the place up or something but that was much better.
 

TheGOAT

🗿
Location
Houston, Texas
Pronouns
Him/his
Partners
  1. serperior
  2. alolatales-goat
Chapter 7: Fervor

Three short hours after they had started, Steela stuck her head into the basement and told everyone, decisively, that it was closing time. The meowth and treecko in the ring stopped fighting. For the first time that night, Raskin felt he could draw breath.

The fights had not stopped for even a minute. Every time one pokémon stepped away, there were five more eager to take their place, even towards closing time when some pokémon had left. It had meant that, despite the intentions of their rules, several scuffles had broken out among two pokémon impatient for a turn in the ring.

The first few times, a harsh warning from Lyco or Sid—whoever saw it happening first—was enough to break things up. Eventually, when one scuffle began close to the crates they sat on, Lyco leapt down into the crowd herself and physically lifted a tyrogue away from the meditite he had disagreed with.

"The next person," she yelled, into the poor tyrogue's withered face, "to break rule two will be escorted out of here myself. Do I make myself clear?"

The tyrogue nodded frantically, and the rest of the room slowly gave a rumble of approval.

"Good." She dropped the tyrogue back down, the 'mon landing in a heap, and skulked back to the crates.

When she was about to climb up, she turned back to the crowd. Most of them were still watching her.

"And by the way," she said. "I want to see all of you fight. I know what an experience it is. That's why I'm risking everything I have to put Fight Den on with these two." She nodded to Raskin, on the crates with her, and Sid, who had stepped out of the crowd. "For that, I think the least we deserve is your respect."

She got back onto the box. Still the room was silent. Lyco rolled her eyes at them. "Drummer boy," she barked, which made Bushu jump.

"Y-yes?" he said.

"You going to carry on drumming for us?"

"Oh—right!"

The snubbull launched into a rapid, complicated rhythm, which soon got the crowd engaged again. Lyco sat back, satisfied.

The crowd was immaculately behaved after that.


The metal shower head spewed out steaming water. Sid, standing in the basin, stared at it. He tensed himself—wait, no, not tense, relax, that's what he needed to do. He imagined the shower head as some rabid enemy… spitting water, maybe…

He paused. A shower head didn't really look like any pokémon, did it?

So he thought back to the marshtomp that had defeated him last time. He hadn't had a chance at a rematch yet. He imagined the 'mon running towards him for a tackle. Now was the time to strike!

The quilava felt for that warmth in his chest that had always been there, just buried, like rocks under a quarry. The rubble was slowly clearing the more he practiced. He drew the feeling up through his lungs and throat, opened his mouth, exhaled—

For a moment just a couple of smoke clouds appeared, then there was a rush of fire. It went straight into the water stream, which reacted with a furious sizzling.

Mew, he loved this feeling. It felt so natural, like his body had been crying out for it for so long, and was just now getting the rewards.

But Mew, it was difficult to keep up. He counted: one second, two seconds, three—

Someone pounded on the bathroom door, making Sid yelp in surprise. The fire ceased.

Damn! That was my best yet…

"Sid!" Raskin barked from the other side of the door. "How long are you gonna be, dude?"

Sid sighed. Well, maybe this was a blessing in disguise. He didn't want to exhaust himself before tonight. "Not long," he said. "I'll…"

He broke off, coughing. Then he noticed black smoke. Where had that come from? It was seeping everywhere, including towards the door. Oh no. He scrambled out of the bath, batting his paws at it.

"Sid, what—what's happening in there?" Raskin exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Sid said, but at that moment the door burst open, its locking mechanism flying across the room.

Raskin looked at the little room, now swamped with smoke, the shower still running, and in the middle of it all Sid, his fur drooping with how drenched it was.

"Sid," he said, his mouth slightly open. "What were you doing?"

Sid shifted uncomfortably on the bathmat. "Practising my fire," he said. "The shower seemed the safest place."

"Did you not anticipate this?" Raskin gestured to the carbon whatever-gas-it-was around them.

"I didn't think I'd produce so much fire. That was a new record!"

"Well I'm… pleased for you," Raskin said, forcing a smile. He coughed heavily. Sid winced.

"We should have some time at the Entei before people arrive for you to do some more practice. Until then…"

"I got it," Sid said nodding. "I'm just really excited, y'know? I feel like we're only just scratching the surface with all this, what with no one having properly fought for so long. It's like, how far can I go? I dunno."

Raskin nodded, though he seemed oddly uncomfortable about something. "Gonna need to get a new lock fitted now," he muttered, almost to himself. He looked up. "Open the window in here. I'll do the same with the rest of them. Hopefully that means the smoke alarm won't go off."

Sid's ears dropped at the thought. That piercing alarm really messed with Raskin's sensitive ears. He'd have to be more careful in future.

Fortunately, the alarm did not sound. When Sid emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, Raskin was poring over the day's newspaper on the sofa. Sid wandered over to see what had him so engrossed.

'System Update: How Computers are Revolutionising our Industries', read one headline, accompanied by a black-and-white picture of an abra, presumably an engineer, giving a thumbs up. 'President announces new pharmaceutical investment', said another, next to a snap of the Flygon standing on some podium giving some speech, as she seemed to do.

In fact, Sid wasn't sure what the president was responsible for other than being 'the face' of apparently important matters.

Sid frowned. "Why are you reading this boring stuff, Rasky?"

"The news may be boring, but it's important," Raskin said, barely glancing up at his friend. He turned the page. "I'm keeping an eye out for anything that might endanger Fight Den. Any rumours, changes to police operations… things like that. They might be reported in here."

"But we already have all those safety measures in place."

Raskin huffed a long sigh. "I know. I'm just being cautious. You know me."

Cautious and on edge, Sid thought, concerned. Still, at least Rasky seems focused. Not hopeless like he was the night we lost our jobs. That's good.

"Hey, I'm gonna see if I can give the basement a bit more decoration," he said, grabbing his valuables.

"Will Steela let you in there?" Raskin asked.

"I think so. Hope so, anyway. You wanna come?" Sid asked, pausing at the door.

Raskin thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I still need to shower, after all." A cold gust suddenly blew in, making the nickit shiver. "And close those bloody windows."

Sid smiled sheepishly. "Gotcha."


Sid made sure to arrive at the White Entei just as it was opening, so Steela wouldn't be busy. He found the raboot sitting behind the bar, head in a book. Her eyes narrowed when they found him.

"Sid," she greeted. "I thought your group weren't getting here until the evening?"

"That's correct," he said. "I'm here early. Well, very early. I was wondering if I could… spruce up your basement a little. Assuming we're gonna be having a few more events here."

"Mhm," Steela said, scratching the fur under her chin. "You've already got those wooden poles and the crates down there. What else do you need?"

"I was thinking about the walls."

Steela raised her eyelids. "You want to paint them?"

"Not paint paint them… I was thinking a bit like the murals you have on the exterior here. Only, things related to fighting. Like…" Sid tried gesturing, then gave up. "It'll be easier to show you."

"I… see," Steela said slowly. "And who's the artist doing this?"

"Oh! Well…" Sid felt his face heat up, and cursed silently. Not in front of Steela. "I think I could do a decent job of it. I used to draw loads at school."

Steela smirked at that, which he didn't understand. "Here's the thing," Steela said. "I'm not really concerned about what you do to that basement. I never had much of a use for it until you boys and that lycanroc showed up. So I don't care what it ends up looking like. If it works for your enterprise, go for it."

Sid beamed. "That's great! I'm—"

"However," Steela interrupted. "I am concerned about keeping all of us safe. Because we're all in the shit if the police finds out about this, right?"

Sid nodded vigorously. "Of course."

"So I will be keeping half-an-eye on things down there. Not that I don't trust you, Sid, but… well, I don't really trust anyone." She smiled at him.

Sid smiled back. Man, she is so cool, he thought wistfully. I wonder if there's any way I can get her—oh, I know!

"Say, you could always join us one night," he said. "I feel bad for you, staying up here, serving drinks, while we're having all the fun. I'm sure we could find someone to do your work; or if there's someone already here that you trust enough..."

"I appreciate the thought," Steela said, picking up a glass to polish. "But I think my place is at this bar. It's what my parents brought me up with, and what I've done ever since they couldn't work it anymore. I couldn't imagine anything different."

Sid frowned. But you don't have to leave all of that…

Before he could reply, the bell on the door chimed and two customers walked in, a timburr and machop.

"Afternoon lads," Steela said brightly, leaning against the bar. "Day off work, is it?"

"Aye." The timburr smiled. "Got the latest construction finished yesterday. Have a few days off now."

"Ready for a night at the athletics, I take it?"

The timburr laughed. "You know me too well, Stee. Any chance we'll see you down there?"

"Don't be daft," Steela said, already pouring them drinks despite no audible order being made. "You won't catch me dead neglecting this place on a weekday." She leant unnecessarily over the bar to pass them the glasses. "Even for two boys as lovely as you."

The timburr's face reddened, and his friend laughed. "Now I know why you don't bring your partner here more often," he said.

Sid watched on as the timburr gave him an elbow in response, and the three exchanged more jibes. This really is her life, he thought. Manning the bar. Flirting with customers. She loves it. Maybe fighting just isn't for everyone.

For some reason, that brought his mind to Raskin. Sid frowned, remembering his friend's strange behaviour last time they were in the basement. Is fighting for you, Rasky?


Today was a Wednesday. The four days since the inaugural Fight Den had passed quickly—Raskin had enjoyed the downtime, at least.

He hadn't known that tonight's meet was even happening until Lyco announced it on Saturday night, minutes before the room cleared out in time with the city's midnight curfew.

"Next meeting is on Wednesday, same start time," she called. "Remember, don't talk about Fight Den, use the codewords, only invite people you can trust, don't be stupid… yada yada. See you then."

As the crowd began streaming out, Raskin confronted her. "Wednesday? I thought we agreed we were only doing this every Saturday?"

"That is what was agreed," Lyco shrugged. "But I had a little chat with Steela while you and Sid were occupied. She said she had made more than she usually would on a Saturday, with our rent and all those drinks she sold at the start. She was up for moving the next Den forwards, with all the same safety measures obviously. It seemed like a no-brainer."

Raskin knew he should feel pleased. This meant more money, potentially faster growth… yet he couldn't shake off a little irritation.

"You should have consulted with us first," he said.

Lyco rolled her eyes. "Really? Surely it's obvious to you both that more Dens is a good thing?"

"Seems obvious to me," Sid added helpfully. His voice was muffled from the floor; the quilava seemed to have collapsed the moment the night had ended.

Raskin sighed, then yawned widely. It wasn't worth getting heated over such a moot point. "Alright," he said at last. "Let's just clear up. Sid, you can count the money. Don't want you to pass out from exhaustion."

Cleaning up was another condition of Steela's deal. "I'm not having you fight in a cesspit. The walls here are too thin; I don't want customers to think I've got rot growing in the basement."

It was more work than the nickit expected. Picking up empty drinks cups was easy enough, but the room—and the arena in particular—was littered with fur. Expending so much energy in the cramped space must have caused a lot of shedding.

But when Sid announced their earnings—'one thousand, two hundred and a bit'—every ounce of their efforts felt worth it. Split evenly it made four hundred poké each, significantly more than what Raskin had made per week at the bank. And now they were potentially going to make that again!


When Raskin arrived at the pub that evening, it was already in 'Den Mode'; music pumping and the fake notice on the door. The only 'mon already there, other than Steela, were Sid, Lyco and Luis, sitting around a table to form one of the more unusual triple-acts Raskin could remember. He joined the quilava and zangoose with their beers. Lyco had an almost-empty whiskey glass.

"Rasky!" Luis greeted as he came over. He patted Sid on the back. "Your boy here's been working crazy hard downstairs. It looks insane!"

Raskin raised an eyebrow at Sid. "You've been here all day?"

Sid shrugged. "Sure. What else would I be doing?"

On a holiday? Drinking, probably, Raskin thought, then smiled. It was good to see Sid being productive. "If I'd known you were so busy, I'd have come sooner," he said.

Sid shook his head through a mouthful of liquid. "I didn't know it would take so long either. Besides, Luis helped me finish." He drained his glass and grinned. "Wanna take a look? You too, Lyco."

When Raskin got up to follow him, Steela piped up, "I did some overseeing myself, given that the basement is still part of my building. But he did well." She flashed Raskin a grin of her own.

The basement was, unsurprisingly, pitch-black as they entered. "Oh, I can light the torches now, too!" Sid said. He went around the six of them quickly and efficiently—whatever 'training' he had been up to was clearly doing good—while Raskin and Lyco climbed onto the upturned crates to get a view of it all.

He wondered how many times Sid would keep surprising him.

The images on the walls were as simple as they were striking. Anonymous claws raised in attack; an open mouth with canines bared angrily; fire and water symbols drawn with sharp, jagged edges. And on the back wall, opposite Raskin, simply the words 'FIGHT DEN'.

Sid had always been something of an artist, even though most of his 'work' Raskin remembered had been created in school classrooms. Maybe the power of these paintings was from the effect of the lighting, how the torches glimmered in the silver paint Sid had chosen. Or perhaps it was that he just didn't see this kind of art around the city. Buildings were neat, and clean and… dull.

"I had to stand on one of the crates to reach some of the high points," Sid said cheerily. "What do you think? It's not wonky anywhere, is it?"

Raskin shook his head. "I'm… amazed. This is really, really good."

"Great!" Sid said. "I left plenty of space as well in case anyone wanted to add to it. Would give it a community feel, y'know?"

Raskin nodded. "At this point, I'm willing to trust whatever ideas you have for this place."

Sid beamed. "Lyco?" he asked, glancing at her.

She grunted. "Pretty good. Imaginative. I'm with Raskin."


The hour before Fight Den's start time was as busy as before, the three of them greeting pokémon who arrived and simultaneously checking that they were from a trusted source. Steela remained in fine spirits, selling a hatload of drinks for her efforts.

Raskin finally headed down to the basement once the doors had been locked. It was only when the nickit stood on the crates with his two partners, looking over the whole room of pokémon, that he realised how many there were. It seemed at least as many as Saturday. He had expected significantly fewer, with it being a weeknight and mere days after the last event.

"How many of you were here on Saturday?" he asked, after welcoming everyone.

About half of the room raised a limb.

Mew, only half? Raskin thought. Word must have travelled quickly. He glanced briefly at Lyco and Sid. They both seemed more pleased than surprised.

Raskin repeated the rules he had given last time, only without any unexpected interruptions. Then, as this time he still had control over the group, he asked what he had wanted to on Saturday. "Does anyone have any questions?"

A vine from the middle of the crowd shot up. "Yes, Aster?" Raskin said.

"Who's responsible for doing up the walls?" the ivysaur said. "And can they paint my house while they're at it?"

Raskin smiled. He gestured to Sid. "Freshly painted today."

"And if anyone wants to add their own, feel free to come before opening!" Sid called out. "I want this wall to be full of stories, hard-fought battles, new abilities you learned!"

This inevitably received an uproar of delight. As if the crowd don't already love him enough, Raskin thought.

"Anything else?" Raskin said, when things had eventually calmed.

The espurr who had fought Sid on Saturday raised a paw. "Is there a limit on the number of oranberries each person is allowed?"

Ah, the berries. In the chaos of Saturday's opening, no one was made aware that there were even berries available to them. It wasn't until Sid casually took one, after his second stint in the ring of the night, that there had been a sudden flurry of demand. It made sense; the berries were like a painkiller and shot of caffeine in one. They were expensive to buy for a reason.

Raskin glanced at the others again. Sid shrugged. "I don't see why not?" he whispered. But Lyco stepped between them.

"Not only is there a limit of one," she said, "but from now on, I'll be in charge of distributing berries. We don't have the money or, let's be clear, legal position to burn through a hundred of them a night. If you have a significant injury, yes, that's understandable. Otherwise, no. But believe me, if you have any decent level of fitness—which I'd certainly hope so—you'll recover from hits faster than you might think. Especially as you get more practice."

Raskin gave her a pointed look. How do you know all this? he thought, not for the first time. Lyco didn't meet it.

"That's why we want to get as many pokémon fighting as possible!" Sid said, just as the crowd looked disappointed. "So, who won the last fight on Saturday? Ah, meowth, that's right! And who will dare challenge her first?"

There was some movement within the crowd before a feisty-looking plusle stepped out into the ring. Then Sid called for Bushu to hit the drums, and the evening's fighting began.

Raskin mostly watched from afar with Lyco, taking on announcing duties whenever the lycanroc was busy. The quality of fighting was not noticeably better than Saturday, he noted, though the significant number of new faces did not make that surprising. The majority of pokémon just threw themselves at their opponent, whether it be with fists, claws or whole bodies. Several employed biting, as Chaka had done in Oldden. However, whereas the raticate's fangs had grown and sharpened somehow in using his attack, the other pokémon's efforts here were much more rudimentary, and left nowhere near as much of an impact as Chaka had left on Aster.

Aster could still launch seeds from his bud as he had done against Chaka; but after using the attack twice, he seemed worn out from it and mostly carried on with just his vines. A couple of fire-types produced elemental attacks, but they weren't as effective as Sid's had been. One psyduck's use of water was successful only in making the poochyena it faced slip on the wet ground.

Sid got just as stuck in as before. A high point came when he found himself facing off against the marshtomp that had been too strong for him in their last fight. This time, there was no stopping him. Even when the marshtomp landed a jet of icy water in his face—which Raskin himself winced at, knowing how painful that would be for Sid—the quilava battled on. His fire attacks didn't have much impact, but through gritted teeth and a few war cries, he finally wrestled the marshtomp out of the ring, before collapsing himself. Luis and a couple others carried him aloft from the arena.

About two hours in, Lyco suddenly jolted next to Raskin. He looked at her, confused. "What is it?"

She didn't reply, so Raskin followed her gaze into the ring. A fight had just ended, and the nidoran stepping in to challenge a victorious riolu wore a familiar, cocky smirk.

"…Tyler?" Raskin said.

"It is, isn't it?" Lyco said. "I take it you didn't invite him."

"I haven't even seen him since we went to the mine."

Lyco growled softly. "Let's just see what he does. No sense in barging in straight away."

Tyler, as it turned out, was quite nifty.

It made sense from what Raskin knew: there being a proper fighting culture where Tyler lived in Oldden, as well as the ease with which the nidoran had outfought himself and Sid when they had first met.

The riolu he fought here had more meat on her bones and stood a good foot taller than Tyler. But he just used that to his advantage. He ducked under the riolu's punches almost gracefully, then kicked or bit her lower half while she was unbalanced. The riolu quickly realised that tactic wasn't working, so she ran at Tyler instead. He just smiled as she approached. At the last second, he turned so that she faced the spines on his back. Like the rest of his body, the spines were smaller than the average nidoran's, but in this case their stunted shape seemed to have merely made them sharper.

The riolu howled with pain as she hit them, collapsing to the ground. Tyler circled her, scratched her several times while she was down, then forced her out of the ring with a decisive tackle.

It perhaps helped that a number of the previous fights had been sloppy, mistake-ridden affairs; nevertheless, the nidoran's success was met with a wild scream of applause. Tyler stood there for a moment, chin raised high in satisfaction. Then his gaze settled on the upturned crates.

"So, I been watching things here for a lil' while," he said, projecting his voice, "and I'm wondering what the hell you two're doing all the way up there. Raskin, wasn't you the one pushing for this from the start? Why don't you get down 'ere?"

Raskin immediately felt shivers down his tail. "We're here to keep an eye on things," he said. "Someone has to do it."

"Pssh. You don't need two of ya for that! Hey, I'm allowed to challenge someone now, right?" Tyler looked around the room, which gave some assenting nods.

"A'right then." Tyler's eyes glimmered with menace. "Come on down, nickit! I think it's about time we all saw what you can do!"

Raskin's heart sank.

He didn't need to look at Lyco this time to know that refusing was not an option. Some pokémon had already murmured their agreement with Tyler's words. They did want to see what he was about. After all, he was the organiser, the one who told them how they were allowed to fight.

Aware that fifty pairs of eyes were on him, he quickly dropped down to the floor. His limbs almost buckled; the muscles seemed to have stopped responding. He felt his mouth tremble.

Be strong, be strong! he told himself, alarmed at the panic already racing through him. He had found a way out of this with Sid the first time; he could do it again. He swallowed, composed himself, then made his way towards the ring, lifting his head up to meet Tyler's.

"I'm ready," he said, before the nidoran could get the first word in.

Tyler smiled, smug as ever. "Alrighty. Count us in, Lyco?"

Raskin knew he had to concentrate, form a plan, even if that was just to have a respectable defeat. But he couldn't stop thinking back to the last time when Sid had tackled him; seeing the police officer snarl, the light beam from its palm, the pain that reduced him to screams…

He heard Lyco counting. The drum pounding. Tyler twitching his hind legs in anticipation.

He found himself panting, barely able to breathe. His eyes stung, chest ached, ears rang. Then he saw Tyler sprint towards him.

"S-STOP!"

At the sound of his cry, the world seemed to freeze. Tyler stopped, straightened up, looking at him in bewilderment. Sid poked his head out of the crowd. "Rasky?" he murmured.

Raskin couldn't move. Couldn't hold back the sobs that started coming.

He really couldn't do it. He couldn't even face being in a fight, let alone do it himself. Where could he go now? What would these pokémon think, seeing one of their leaders disintegrate at the mere threat of fighting?

Suddenly, he found himself plucked into the air and squealed involuntarily. Twisting his head, he saw Lyco's head towering over him. She marched him out of the ring, through the stunned crowd and towards the basement stairs.

"W-what are you doing?" Raskin whispered. "Don't throw me out of here, please!"

"Shut up," Lyco muttered. "Sid, take care of things for the last hour," she called, making sure the quilava gave her a nod of approval, which he hesitantly did.

She waited until they were clear of the crowd, heading up the stairs, before adding, "I'm not throwing you out of your own club, Raskin. I'm saving your ass while it's still possible."


Chapter 7 Review

— Witnessing Sid discover how to use his fire is really interesting. It’s like the Pokemon of Oldden have atrophied energy sources and are gradually returning to normal strength.

— Can’t help but wonder how their finances are doing. Raskin made a note of getting the lock re-fitted, and I noticed he didn’t fret over it at all.

— I lowkey get the feeling that Sid is exhausted by Raskin. Maybe not to a huge extent, but enough for his inner monologue to take small jabs from time to time, harmless as they might be. Maybe the altered dynamic of their professional lives could expose some cracks in their relationship?

— Raskin’s introspection about fighting not being for everyone makes him come off as self-aware… until he’s called out for it. He had a much more favorable opportunity to refuse to fight this time, but he still caved. It seems like this time will have more embarrassing consequences… oof.

— No real complaints so far. Story is a charming read so far and the pacing is really comfortable for me. Good work!
 
Chapter 8: Midnight Spar

cynsh

full-time quilava
Location
Deepden
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. quilava
Chapter 8: Midnight Spar



Raskin blinked at her. “What does that mean? And c-can you at least let go of me?”

“Oh, sure,” Lyco said, as they emerged up into the bar. “I just wasn’t sure if your legs had regained the ability to move.”

She dropped him onto the hardwood floor. Raskin winced.

“Lyco? Raskin?” Steela had noticed them at once, coming out from behind the counter. “What’s happening?”

Lyco waved a dismissive paw. “It’s fine. We just need to talk for a little while.”

Steela frowned. “Will you be coming back?”

“Probably not tonight.”

The raboot folded her arms crossly. “You need to clean up. That was what we agreed.”

“Oh, I’m sure that the zangoose or someone else will help Sid out,” Lyco shrugged. She gave Raskin a shove. “Come on.”

“Sorry, Steela,” Raskin said, giving her a sheepish look. Lyco strode out of the bar before there was time for anyone to argue.

He almost had to run to keep up with the lycanroc’s brisk steps. There were few pokémon around at this hour, and the ones who were didn’t pay them or the White Entei any attention. It was scant comfort.

“Where are we going?” Raskin asked.

Lyco stopped, scanning the surroundings. They were in a patch of greenery, shielded from the glares of streetlights and buildings. Lyco’s scarlet eyes glowed slightly in the darkness. “This should do,” she said. “Sit down.”

Raskin sat against what felt like a shrub, Lyco moving opposite him. He shivered as a flurry of wind passed. Their apartment was only down the road, but his housekeys were still in the Entei, and he didn’t think asking Lyco to fetch them was advisable. Not least because she seemed immune to the cold he felt.

“Raskin,” she said. “You are an idiot.”

Raskin didn’t know what to say.

“You knew before today that you couldn’t fight,” Lyco continued. “What were you hoping to achieve? Did you think you could just shy away from fighting forever? Just sit back and relax as the money rolled in?”

“I don’t know, alright?” Raskin snapped. The lycanroc’s words were a punch in the gut—even more so because he couldn’t argue with them.

Lyco raised her eyelids. “You don’t know.”

“It was only on Saturday that this happened for the first time,” Raskin protested. “When Sid tackled me. It…”

He stopped, suddenly feeling exposed.

“It what?” Lyco said.

“Why should I tell you?” Raskin said bitterly. “You still won’t tell us a thing about your life.”

Lyco scowled. But as her mouth opened, she seemed to hold back her words. Her expression softened.

“I want to help you, Raskin,” she said. “In a way, it’s a blessing this happened tonight rather than weeks or months down the line. It means there’s a way back into this for you, if you’re willing to take it.” She paused. “I assume you still want to be a part of Fight Den.”

“Yes,” Raskin said, without hesitation. “This feels like the only… really worthwhile thing I’ve done in my life.”

Lyco showed a flicker of a smile. “Good. I want you to be part of it too.”

“Why?” Raskin blurted. He paused for a moment—the answer had come out of him without thought. Then, “Why am I important to you? You’ve never shown anything but contempt for me or Sid.”

Lyco sighed, glancing at the floor, then back at him. “I’ve met very few pokémon that think like you, Raskin. Just what you said then—that you’re doing this because it feels worthwhile. You might think that’s a common thing to desire. But it’s not. Most pokémon are comfortable living out their lives doing regular jobs, getting food and shelter, being able to socialise out of work. That’s why, until now, nothing like Fight Den has been put together in all the time that fighting has been outlawed. You want something more than this society allows. So do I.”

Raskin blinked. He hadn’t known what response to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“And as for Sid,” Lyco continued, “it’s pretty obvious. He’s a natural at this. And he thinks like you too, to a lesser extent.” She flicked her mane back. “Is that a good enough answer?”

Raskin was reminded of what Lyco had told them in the mine about why pokémon should fight. Her eyes had lit up with the same spark now as they did then. Most of the time that spark it was buried under grumpiness and snappy orders… but it was always there.

“I guess so,” Raskin said.

Lyco gave what seemed to be a genuine sigh of relief. “Then please, tell me what’s happening to you,” she said. “Why you can’t fight.”

So Raskin did. He told her about the police officers appearing at their door, who demanded that his father come with them. How Raskin had refused to believe his only family could be about to disappear. And after his shouting at the officers failed, trying to grab hold of the lucario’s arm.

“It happened so fast,” he said. “Just a flash of light from his paw, then the next thing I knew I hit the side of the wall, every muscle in agony. I’d never been in a real fight before. Never really been hit before. Even as a kit, I shied away from that stuff.”

“So, when Sid tackled you…?”

Raskin nodded. “I thought I’d buried those memories. It just all came back. The sounds of my dad and the officers, being inside our old living room. The shaking in my limbs. It’s like I’m right there. And I still can’t stop it from happening.” He clutched his head in his paws, then shook it violently, as if the memories were just fleas to be discarded. “Now it feels like this… experience will happen any time I even go near a fight. I hate it! I want nothing to do with it! But… I can’t do anything…”

“Well, you can,” Lyco said.

“…What?”

Lyco rubbed her face wearily. “Sorry. I don’t want to diminish what happened to you. But these memories that are hurting you… you can push through them. It will be difficult, but you can do it. I’ll help you.”

Raskin glanced at her, surprised. “How?”

“Only one way I can see,” Lyco said. “You keep facing this until it can’t damage you anymore. After all, this is only a memory. It’s—”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Raskin snapped. “You’re not in my head.”

Lyco’s eyes set alight for a moment, then cooled again.

“Look, I’m not always the best at speaking with…” she gestured a paw vaguely, “...nuance. Nevertheless: can you see any other solution? Because nothing strikes me.”

“…No,” Raskin muttered. He wanted to bury his head in his ears.

“Then that’s settled. Meet me in Oldden tomorrow at about six o’clock. That’ll be the safest place for us to practice.”

“Practice?” Raskin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, we’ll have to fight,” Lyco said. “Fighting is what triggers this memory. Or being hit, to be specific.”

“Right, but… I thought you couldn’t fight?”

“Not for long periods. I’ve got enough in me for this. So, six o’clock, yes?”

“I… okay,” Raskin stuttered. “Is there no way we could start a little earlier?”

Lyco shook her head. “I’m working tomorrow.”

With nothing left to say, she got up and started walking back to the yellow-lit streets. Raskin started following, thought for a moment, then called, “Lyco!”

She whipped her head around.

“I… don’t have my housekeys with me. And I don’t want to go back to the Entei tonight after what happened. Can we… sit down somewhere nicer for a bit? Just until Sid will be finished.”

Lyco’s face brightened. Or perhaps it was just the glowing lights from behind her.

“Actually, I’ve got a better idea,” she said. “Let’s start training now.”

----

Once Lyco and Raskin had gone, the basement was silent. A tide of heads turned from the stairs the two had disappeared from to Sid. The quilava gulped. What had happened to Raskin? Had Lyco known something he hadn’t? What would he do now?

“Um,” he said. He looked to the ring for guidance, then remembered that the ring was where everything had stemmed from. Tyler stood alone in the middle of it, his face sheepish.

“I didn’t do nothing to him, Smokey. You saw, didn’t ya? I don’t know what happened to him!”

“Yes, I believe you,” Sid said.

The crowd continued to be statues between them. There was only one way out of this that Sid knew.

“I suppose Tyler wins this fight,” he murmured—then, finding his voice, “Who’ll be next to take him on? He looks strong, so you’d better be up for it!”

There was shuffling amongst the crowd, mutterings between pokémon. Sid frowned. Did I go a bit overboard on Tyler-hype?

He waited a few moments, but no one looked keen to step forwards. His hopeful glances were consistently avoided.

Sid sighed. There looked like only one solution.

“I’ll challenge him, then!” he announced, stepping forwards. “Luis!” He scanned the area until finding the zangoose’s startled gaze. “You’re in charge of this fight. Get on the crates and count us in. You remember all the rules and things?”

Luis was frozen for a moment, then nodded overzealously, as if to break out of his own stupor. “Yessir!”

As the crowd parted to let Luis though, Sid stepped into the arena. He properly considered Tyler for the first time. Then something occurred to him.

“How did you find this place?” he asked, quiet enough so that the surrounding pokémon couldn’t hear. “None of us gave you any information. Do you know someone here?”

“Nah, mate,” Tyler said, smirking. “I been following you’s movements. Seen you come here often. T’was just a bit of deduction.”

Sid stared at the nidoran, anger boiling in his stomach. “You followed us? How could you even…?”

“I know what district you’re in,” Tyler said, shrugging. “Ain’t that hard, mate.”

Sid was interrupted by Luis’s call from the crates. “On the count of three… I guess.”

Sid scowled at Tyler. There was no time for verbals now.

Maybe this was good, though. If he could channel this anger into his fighting, he’d be even stronger. Sid thought back to his old grievances with Tyler. Attacking him and Raskin based on nothing but an invasion of space. Charging them exorbitant money because they had to find Lyco.

He growled into the floor. Mister Smokey-Cough.

“One...”

And, come to think of it, even if Tyler hadn’t done anything clearly wrong to Raskin, he should have seen that the guy wasn’t comfortable about fighting!

“Two…”

Yes, things were different now. Sid had been training hard. He had the will of this room on his side. He was in charge.

“Uh—fight!”

----

The streets were already dark at this hour, but the city light seemed to grow dimmer and dimmer as they made the long walk to Oldden. It was closing in on midnight. Raskin shivered again.

It was practically pitch-black once they entered the former city. Raskin could only assume that Lyco’s years of experience walking the muddy paths were what guided her towards the stark, wooden box she called a house. No stragglers were inside this time when she opened the door, but the rest of the room was as empty as usual, save for a pile of rocks and some hay in one corner. That was until she reached under the hay, pulling out a candle and box of matches. She set the candle on the sill of one of the room’s tiny windows, and lit it. The light was meagre, but Raskin was just glad to be able to see again.

“So… what is the plan, exactly?” he said.

“Stand over there,” Lyco said, pointing out a spot near the centre of the room. Once he was there, she moved to a few paces away. “For now, I’ll just tackle you. If that triggers the same feelings in you as before, try to push them away. We’ll see what happens from there.”

“Alright,” Raskin said, lowering his body into what seemed like a more fighting stance.

Lyco must have noticed his hesitance, for she said, “This is for you, Raskin. It’s on you to make it work.” She paused. “Also, turn your shoulder into me if you don’t want to get hit in the face.”

Right. Raskin took a deep breath and did as she said, maintaining eye contact with the lycanroc. Immediately he felt all four limbs tremble, his chest tightening. He willed himself desperately to be stronger, but when he looked up at Lyco again she was already darting towards, her white mane glowing in the candlelight just like the lucario’s fist had that day.

And so, he jumped out of the way. It was stronger than him. He didn’t need another glance to know Lyco’s burning disappointment as he righted himself.

Numerous tackles passed with frustratingly little progress. After the first attempt, Raskin was at least able to stay still before Lyco hit him. But that was far from the end of his problems. Lyco pointed out his trembling body, and how his eyes shut long before she made contact. She barked at him to leap back to his feet after going down. Rather than becoming numb to the response his body gave to being attacked, that anxious state seemed to make itself the norm.

It was to his immense relief when Lyco told him to rest for a moment.

Raskin sat down limply on the wooden floor. Getting a nudge to his head, he looked up. Lyco held out a flask of water to him. “Thanks,” he murmured, suddenly realising how dry his mouth felt.

As his pulse gradually slowed, previous worries began surfacing, with even more venom—and justification—than before.

What if this method just won’t work? What then? Will I be cast out from Fight Den forever, just because I’m too inept to do the job properly?

Across the room, Lyco clicked her tongue. “I think we should try something different.”

Raskin frowned; he didn’t feel much like trying anything right now. “Different in what way?”

“Sparring,” Lyco replied. She noticed his bemused look, and added, “Like a practice fight. The important thing is that I want you to try attacking. Unlike the tackling, that’s not something that you can’t… uh…”

“Yes, that’s true,” Raskin said. “At least… I think so.”

“Right. So, you try attacking me now. We’ll take it from there. Okay?”

Raskin nodded. He didn’t feel much hope, but there were no other options. He walked back to the middle of the room, a few feet from Lyco.

Attacking. He cast his mind back through all the duels he’d watched in the past two sessions of Fight Den. What could he learn from that?

Lots of pokémon attacked with their claws. He had claws, so that could work. There was also the tackling that seemed very popular. Anyone could do that. Although what was the best way—should he be leading with his front legs, like a big jump, or would he get more power going with his side—?

“Oi!” Lyco called from across the room. Raskin’s head shot up.

“I didn’t ask you to work out the square root of this room’s bloody… circumference,” she scolded. “Attack me!”

Deciding on a scratch, Raskin stepped forwards tentatively. Almost immediately his anxiety returned, his limbs feeling like they were anchored to the ground. He looked away from Lyco, chewing on his mouth in the hopes that would at least hold his fractured emotions together.

He couldn’t do it, not even with Lyco’s back up plan. This really was the end for him.

“Raskin?!” Lyco barked. “I’m still waiting!”

He couldn’t look up—he knew that seeing the inevitable rage on the lycanroc’s face would tip him over the edge.

“Raskin.” There was a coldness to her voice this time. “Are you really so weak that you can’t even bear attacking me? Is there really that little fight inside you? LOOK AT ME!”

Raskin’s head shot up, more out of involuntary shock than anything. Lyco gave a huff of satisfaction.

“You have no idea how good you have it,” she said. “You live in a city with beds, warmth, food on demand. Our ancestors had to hunt and scrap for all of that. They would be turning in their graves if they saw what their future had become. And what about your parents? You think your father would be happy that this was the son he went to prison for? Or your mother, wherever the fuck she is. Maybe this is why she isn’t with you anymore—”

The world around Lyco disappeared. Raskin sprinted forwards, raised a foreleg and swung at her. She swerved away, then nudged his side with an elbow. Raskin could only flail at the air for a moment before crashing to the floor.

Lyco let out a shriek of laughter. “I knew it was in there somewhere! We just—”

Raskin scrambled up, snarling furiously, and lunged at her. This time he caught Lyco with a leg, but the impact only made her stumble backwards.

“Hey! Raskin, calm down!” She picked up a handful of small rocks and threw them at his face, forcing him back a little. “Calm!”

Raskin hissed through his nostrils, heart thumping. “My mother died when I was still a kit. She fought illness for years. How dare you even suggest that it was because of me—!”

“I didn’t know!” Lyco said, holding her paws up defensively. “I swear, I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! Why are you smiling, then?” Raskin demanded. It took great effort—as well as his better judgement—not to lunge at her again.

The lycanroc’s smugness did not waver. “Because you attacked me.”

Raskin froze. He suddenly became conscious of what had just happened. Of why they were even here. “I… I did,” he said dumbly.

“I knew you could do it,” Lyco said. “It just took a bit of… prompting to bring to the surface.”

Raskin frowned. He wanted to say that Lyco shouldn’t have gone to the lengths she did to make that happen. But if she hadn’t, he would be as stuck as he was a minute ago.

“What now, then?” he said.

“What now?” Lyco chuckled. “Well, even though your attacks were… full-blooded, there were lots of mistakes. Especially in the scratch. Do you have any ideas where?”

Raskin thought. He barely remembered the actual movements. Just the raging hatred he had felt in that moment. “...No.”

“Okay. This is what you looked like when you used your claws.”

Lyco crouched in front of an invisible opponent, then took a comically large swing with one arm that went from her shoulder to almost touching the ground. She stumbled over herself dramatically.

Raskin frowned. “I don’t think it was that bad.”

“Oh, it was,” Lyco said matter-of-factly. “The power of a scratch should come more from your wrist than your arm—or leg, whatever. If you keep a smaller motion, you’ll get more power in the attack and it won’t make you flail like a pidgey learning to fly.”

Raskin nodded, keeping a tired sigh to himself. It sounded reasonable.

“Another thing,” Lyco added. “Don’t reveal your claws until you’re just about to bring them down. Extending them as early as you did made it clear to me what you were about to do, even though you were moving quickly.”

Raskin nodded again. He’d have to get more accustomed to flexing his claw muscles… or whatever they were.

Then, thinking over her words, he had a sudden rush of abandon. “Who taught you to fight?” he said.

Lyco froze, her eyes narrowing. “Excuse me?”

Raskin’s mind raced to respond. “This teaching of yours… it’s very precise. Instructive.”

“Is that not what you want?”

Raskin smiled. Snappy. I must be getting somewhere. “I’m just saying, I’d be surprised if you taught it all to yourself.”

Lyco scowled at him, but didn’t snap again. “My parents,” she said eventually. “You could say that they taught me the things I believe in now. Fighting was a part of that.”

How did they teach you?” Raskin said. “Surely you couldn’t have fought anywhere in the city.”

“’Course not. They brought me here.”

“This exact house?”

Lyco shook her head. “I built this one.”

An abrupt silence came over them when the lycanroc didn’t elaborate. But Raskin wasn’t satisfied.

“You never addressed what I said outside the Entei earlier. This stuff about your parents is probably the first personal detail you’ve shared with either me or Sid. Why won’t you tell us anything about you? Can’t you see it’s curious to us?”

Lyco regarded him levelly. “I think you know more than enough. I don’t need to be your friend, Raskin. We just share an ambition.”

“But—”

“Enough!” Lyco snapped. “We’re wasting time. Get up, and attack me again.

Raskin sighed inwardly. You refuse to talk about yourself, yet have no trouble insulting my family that you’ve never met, was what he wanted to say. But he knew that Lyco was right—there were more important things to focus on.

What were her instructions to him again? Right, his scratching motion. And don’t reveal claws so early.

He stepped up to Lyco, more carefully this time. It was easier to get into the zen-like state of before—he just recalled what Lyco had said, how he had felt, that smug look on her face, and his limbs became unstuck.

He paused for a moment in front of her, thinking through the scratching motion in his head, then lunged and extended and swung. He felt a ripping sensation in his paw, then Lyco stepped back, grunting.

It connected!

“Don’t just stand there admiring yourself!” Lyco growled. She suddenly launched herself at him.

Raskin leapt away as fast he could, managing to escape with just a glancing blow to the side of his head. He winced as it started stinging—Lyco had connected with something sharp. But Lyco was already back to her feet, so he spun and tried another scratch, this time with his left paw in the hopes of catching her out.

Lyco beat away his paw with one of her own as it came down. Then her opposite arm lashed out from nowhere, catching Raskin just below the neck. He cried out in surprise, backing away.

Then he noticed Lyco had paused. She was hunched over, seemingly short of breath. Getting an idea, Raskin did another quick mental imagining, then jumped towards Lyco. He intended to lead with his shoulder, as she liked to, but twisted too much and ended up kicking out with his back legs. Even though she swerved away, one of them caught her on the muzzle.

He got a sudden rush of energy at the contact, like a spark of electricity in his bones. It felt… thrilling.

“That’s enough!” Lyco said, holding a paw up. “I’ve been pushing my EFS enough tonight.”

It took a moment to Raskin to connect the dots— her Energy Fatigue Syndrome. His excitement faded. “Are you alright?”

Lyco chuckled. She seemed to be grinning, long canines poking out of her mouth. “Fine,” she said. “That was much better though. Let’s stop for tonight.”

The moment Raskin relaxed, he felt his own fatigue like a ton of bricks. They had been going for what felt like at least an hour, virtually non-stop. No wonder Lyco needed a break.

For a second, he allowed himself a private smile. In the end, things hadn’t turned out so bad. There was hope for his fighting nature yet.

He moved towards the door. The pitch-black unknowns of Oldden were even less appealing when coupled with the aching in his legs that had just become apparent. He sighed. “This’ll be a nice walk back.”

“Hm?” Lyco grunted, looking up. “Didn’t I tell you? You’re sleeping here tonight.”

Raskin froze. “No, you did not. How do you figure that out?”

Annoyingly, the edge in his voice seemed to only amuse Lyco. “Well, you said it yourself. It’s a long walk from here in your state. There’ll be police patrolling the streets too. How d’you plan to explain your presence to them, way after curfew?”

“I…” Raskin’s mind didn’t seem to be at its usual sharpness.

“And you don’t have a day job now, so there’s no rush to get back.”

“I… suppose,” Raskin said, defeated.

He turned back into the room, casting a gaze over the pile of hay at one end that seemed to be the bed. “Is that all there is?”

Lyco gave a frustrated huff, shaking her head. She started pulling an end off the hay. “You know, our ancestors would have given an arm and a leg for a bed like this.”

“That doesn’t mean I should be happy with it.”

“Those ancestors also knew how to fight,” Lyco continued. “Maybe you could learn something from them. Here.” She chucked the new pile of hay at him; Raskin barely brought his forelegs up in time to stop the bundle knocking him to the ground for the fiftieth time that day.

“If it’s not comfortable, try flattening it with your paws,” Lyco said, stretching out on the well-worn pile she had left herself. “Oh, and watch out for insects. Night.”

----

Special thanks to Talgoran and Shadow for their help on this one :)
 

TheGOAT

🗿
Location
Houston, Texas
Pronouns
Him/his
Partners
  1. serperior
  2. alolatales-goat
Chapter 8: Midnight Spar



Raskin blinked at her. “What does that mean? And c-can you at least let go of me?”

“Oh, sure,” Lyco said, as they emerged up into the bar. “I just wasn’t sure if your legs had regained the ability to move.”

She dropped him onto the hardwood floor. Raskin winced.

“Lyco? Raskin?” Steela had noticed them at once, coming out from behind the counter. “What’s happening?”

Lyco waved a dismissive paw. “It’s fine. We just need to talk for a little while.”

Steela frowned. “Will you be coming back?”

“Probably not tonight.”

The raboot folded her arms crossly. “You need to clean up. That was what we agreed.”

“Oh, I’m sure that the zangoose or someone else will help Sid out,” Lyco shrugged. She gave Raskin a shove. “Come on.”

“Sorry, Steela,” Raskin said, giving her a sheepish look. Lyco strode out of the bar before there was time for anyone to argue.

He almost had to run to keep up with the lycanroc’s brisk steps. There were few pokémon around at this hour, and the ones who were didn’t pay them or the White Entei any attention. It was scant comfort.

“Where are we going?” Raskin asked.

Lyco stopped, scanning the surroundings. They were in a patch of greenery, shielded from the glares of streetlights and buildings. Lyco’s scarlet eyes glowed slightly in the darkness. “This should do,” she said. “Sit down.”

Raskin sat against what felt like a shrub, Lyco moving opposite him. He shivered as a flurry of wind passed. Their apartment was only down the road, but his housekeys were still in the Entei, and he didn’t think asking Lyco to fetch them was advisable. Not least because she seemed immune to the cold he felt.

“Raskin,” she said. “You are an idiot.”

Raskin didn’t know what to say.

“You knew before today that you couldn’t fight,” Lyco continued. “What were you hoping to achieve? Did you think you could just shy away from fighting forever? Just sit back and relax as the money rolled in?”

“I don’t know, alright?” Raskin snapped. The lycanroc’s words were a punch in the gut—even more so because he couldn’t argue with them.

Lyco raised her eyelids. “You don’t know.”

“It was only on Saturday that this happened for the first time,” Raskin protested. “When Sid tackled me. It…”

He stopped, suddenly feeling exposed.

“It what?” Lyco said.

“Why should I tell you?” Raskin said bitterly. “You still won’t tell us a thing about your life.”

Lyco scowled. But as her mouth opened, she seemed to hold back her words. Her expression softened.

“I want to help you, Raskin,” she said. “In a way, it’s a blessing this happened tonight rather than weeks or months down the line. It means there’s a way back into this for you, if you’re willing to take it.” She paused. “I assume you still want to be a part of Fight Den.”

“Yes,” Raskin said, without hesitation. “This feels like the only… really worthwhile thing I’ve done in my life.”

Lyco showed a flicker of a smile. “Good. I want you to be part of it too.”

“Why?” Raskin blurted. He paused for a moment—the answer had come out of him without thought. Then, “Why am I important to you? You’ve never shown anything but contempt for me or Sid.”

Lyco sighed, glancing at the floor, then back at him. “I’ve met very few pokémon that think like you, Raskin. Just what you said then—that you’re doing this because it feels worthwhile. You might think that’s a common thing to desire. But it’s not. Most pokémon are comfortable living out their lives doing regular jobs, getting food and shelter, being able to socialise out of work. That’s why, until now, nothing like Fight Den has been put together in all the time that fighting has been outlawed. You want something more than this society allows. So do I.”

Raskin blinked. He hadn’t known what response to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“And as for Sid,” Lyco continued, “it’s pretty obvious. He’s a natural at this. And he thinks like you too, to a lesser extent.” She flicked her mane back. “Is that a good enough answer?”

Raskin was reminded of what Lyco had told them in the mine about why pokémon should fight. Her eyes had lit up with the same spark now as they did then. Most of the time that spark it was buried under grumpiness and snappy orders… but it was always there.

“I guess so,” Raskin said.

Lyco gave what seemed to be a genuine sigh of relief. “Then please, tell me what’s happening to you,” she said. “Why you can’t fight.”

So Raskin did. He told her about the police officers appearing at their door, who demanded that his father come with them. How Raskin had refused to believe his only family could be about to disappear. And after his shouting at the officers failed, trying to grab hold of the lucario’s arm.

“It happened so fast,” he said. “Just a flash of light from his paw, then the next thing I knew I hit the side of the wall, every muscle in agony. I’d never been in a real fight before. Never really been hit before. Even as a kit, I shied away from that stuff.”

“So, when Sid tackled you…?”

Raskin nodded. “I thought I’d buried those memories. It just all came back. The sounds of my dad and the officers, being inside our old living room. The shaking in my limbs. It’s like I’m right there. And I still can’t stop it from happening.” He clutched his head in his paws, then shook it violently, as if the memories were just fleas to be discarded. “Now it feels like this… experience will happen any time I even go near a fight. I hate it! I want nothing to do with it! But… I can’t do anything…”

“Well, you can,” Lyco said.

“…What?”

Lyco rubbed her face wearily. “Sorry. I don’t want to diminish what happened to you. But these memories that are hurting you… you can push through them. It will be difficult, but you can do it. I’ll help you.”

Raskin glanced at her, surprised. “How?”

“Only one way I can see,” Lyco said. “You keep facing this until it can’t damage you anymore. After all, this is only a memory. It’s—”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Raskin snapped. “You’re not in my head.”

Lyco’s eyes set alight for a moment, then cooled again.

“Look, I’m not always the best at speaking with…” she gestured a paw vaguely, “...nuance. Nevertheless: can you see any other solution? Because nothing strikes me.”

“…No,” Raskin muttered. He wanted to bury his head in his ears.

“Then that’s settled. Meet me in Oldden tomorrow at about six o’clock. That’ll be the safest place for us to practice.”

“Practice?” Raskin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, we’ll have to fight,” Lyco said. “Fighting is what triggers this memory. Or being hit, to be specific.”

“Right, but… I thought you couldn’t fight?”

“Not for long periods. I’ve got enough in me for this. So, six o’clock, yes?”

“I… okay,” Raskin stuttered. “Is there no way we could start a little earlier?”

Lyco shook her head. “I’m working tomorrow.”

With nothing left to say, she got up and started walking back to the yellow-lit streets. Raskin started following, thought for a moment, then called, “Lyco!”

She whipped her head around.

“I… don’t have my housekeys with me. And I don’t want to go back to the Entei tonight after what happened. Can we… sit down somewhere nicer for a bit? Just until Sid will be finished.”

Lyco’s face brightened. Or perhaps it was just the glowing lights from behind her.

“Actually, I’ve got a better idea,” she said. “Let’s start training now.”

----

Once Lyco and Raskin had gone, the basement was silent. A tide of heads turned from the stairs the two had disappeared from to Sid. The quilava gulped. What had happened to Raskin? Had Lyco known something he hadn’t? What would he do now?

“Um,” he said. He looked to the ring for guidance, then remembered that the ring was where everything had stemmed from. Tyler stood alone in the middle of it, his face sheepish.

“I didn’t do nothing to him, Smokey. You saw, didn’t ya? I don’t know what happened to him!”

“Yes, I believe you,” Sid said.

The crowd continued to be statues between them. There was only one way out of this that Sid knew.

“I suppose Tyler wins this fight,” he murmured—then, finding his voice, “Who’ll be next to take him on? He looks strong, so you’d better be up for it!”

There was shuffling amongst the crowd, mutterings between pokémon. Sid frowned. Did I go a bit overboard on Tyler-hype?

He waited a few moments, but no one looked keen to step forwards. His hopeful glances were consistently avoided.

Sid sighed. There looked like only one solution.

“I’ll challenge him, then!” he announced, stepping forwards. “Luis!” He scanned the area until finding the zangoose’s startled gaze. “You’re in charge of this fight. Get on the crates and count us in. You remember all the rules and things?”

Luis was frozen for a moment, then nodded overzealously, as if to break out of his own stupor. “Yessir!”

As the crowd parted to let Luis though, Sid stepped into the arena. He properly considered Tyler for the first time. Then something occurred to him.

“How did you find this place?” he asked, quiet enough so that the surrounding pokémon couldn’t hear. “None of us gave you any information. Do you know someone here?”

“Nah, mate,” Tyler said, smirking. “I been following you’s movements. Seen you come here often. T’was just a bit of deduction.”

Sid stared at the nidoran, anger boiling in his stomach. “You followed us? How could you even…?”

“I know what district you’re in,” Tyler said, shrugging. “Ain’t that hard, mate.”

Sid was interrupted by Luis’s call from the crates. “On the count of three… I guess.”

Sid scowled at Tyler. There was no time for verbals now.

Maybe this was good, though. If he could channel this anger into his fighting, he’d be even stronger. Sid thought back to his old grievances with Tyler. Attacking him and Raskin based on nothing but an invasion of space. Charging them exorbitant money because they had to find Lyco.

He growled into the floor. Mister Smokey-Cough.

“One...”

And, come to think of it, even if Tyler hadn’t done anything clearly wrong to Raskin, he should have seen that the guy wasn’t comfortable about fighting!

“Two…”

Yes, things were different now. Sid had been training hard. He had the will of this room on his side. He was in charge.

“Uh—fight!”

----

The streets were already dark at this hour, but the city light seemed to grow dimmer and dimmer as they made the long walk to Oldden. It was closing in on midnight. Raskin shivered again.

It was practically pitch-black once they entered the former city. Raskin could only assume that Lyco’s years of experience walking the muddy paths were what guided her towards the stark, wooden box she called a house. No stragglers were inside this time when she opened the door, but the rest of the room was as empty as usual, save for a pile of rocks and some hay in one corner. That was until she reached under the hay, pulling out a candle and box of matches. She set the candle on the sill of one of the room’s tiny windows, and lit it. The light was meagre, but Raskin was just glad to be able to see again.

“So… what is the plan, exactly?” he said.

“Stand over there,” Lyco said, pointing out a spot near the centre of the room. Once he was there, she moved to a few paces away. “For now, I’ll just tackle you. If that triggers the same feelings in you as before, try to push them away. We’ll see what happens from there.”

“Alright,” Raskin said, lowering his body into what seemed like a more fighting stance.

Lyco must have noticed his hesitance, for she said, “This is for you, Raskin. It’s on you to make it work.” She paused. “Also, turn your shoulder into me if you don’t want to get hit in the face.”

Right. Raskin took a deep breath and did as she said, maintaining eye contact with the lycanroc. Immediately he felt all four limbs tremble, his chest tightening. He willed himself desperately to be stronger, but when he looked up at Lyco again she was already darting towards, her white mane glowing in the candlelight just like the lucario’s fist had that day.

And so, he jumped out of the way. It was stronger than him. He didn’t need another glance to know Lyco’s burning disappointment as he righted himself.

Numerous tackles passed with frustratingly little progress. After the first attempt, Raskin was at least able to stay still before Lyco hit him. But that was far from the end of his problems. Lyco pointed out his trembling body, and how his eyes shut long before she made contact. She barked at him to leap back to his feet after going down. Rather than becoming numb to the response his body gave to being attacked, that anxious state seemed to make itself the norm.

It was to his immense relief when Lyco told him to rest for a moment.

Raskin sat down limply on the wooden floor. Getting a nudge to his head, he looked up. Lyco held out a flask of water to him. “Thanks,” he murmured, suddenly realising how dry his mouth felt.

As his pulse gradually slowed, previous worries began surfacing, with even more venom—and justification—than before.

What if this method just won’t work? What then? Will I be cast out from Fight Den forever, just because I’m too inept to do the job properly?

Across the room, Lyco clicked her tongue. “I think we should try something different.”

Raskin frowned; he didn’t feel much like trying anything right now. “Different in what way?”

“Sparring,” Lyco replied. She noticed his bemused look, and added, “Like a practice fight. The important thing is that I want you to try attacking. Unlike the tackling, that’s not something that you can’t… uh…”

“Yes, that’s true,” Raskin said. “At least… I think so.”

“Right. So, you try attacking me now. We’ll take it from there. Okay?”

Raskin nodded. He didn’t feel much hope, but there were no other options. He walked back to the middle of the room, a few feet from Lyco.

Attacking. He cast his mind back through all the duels he’d watched in the past two sessions of Fight Den. What could he learn from that?

Lots of pokémon attacked with their claws. He had claws, so that could work. There was also the tackling that seemed very popular. Anyone could do that. Although what was the best way—should he be leading with his front legs, like a big jump, or would he get more power going with his side—?

“Oi!” Lyco called from across the room. Raskin’s head shot up.

“I didn’t ask you to work out the square root of this room’s bloody… circumference,” she scolded. “Attack me!”

Deciding on a scratch, Raskin stepped forwards tentatively. Almost immediately his anxiety returned, his limbs feeling like they were anchored to the ground. He looked away from Lyco, chewing on his mouth in the hopes that would at least hold his fractured emotions together.

He couldn’t do it, not even with Lyco’s back up plan. This really was the end for him.

“Raskin?!” Lyco barked. “I’m still waiting!”

He couldn’t look up—he knew that seeing the inevitable rage on the lycanroc’s face would tip him over the edge.

“Raskin.” There was a coldness to her voice this time. “Are you really so weak that you can’t even bear attacking me? Is there really that little fight inside you? LOOK AT ME!”

Raskin’s head shot up, more out of involuntary shock than anything. Lyco gave a huff of satisfaction.

“You have no idea how good you have it,” she said. “You live in a city with beds, warmth, food on demand. Our ancestors had to hunt and scrap for all of that. They would be turning in their graves if they saw what their future had become. And what about your parents? You think your father would be happy that this was the son he went to prison for? Or your mother, wherever the fuck she is. Maybe this is why she isn’t with you anymore—”

The world around Lyco disappeared. Raskin sprinted forwards, raised a foreleg and swung at her. She swerved away, then nudged his side with an elbow. Raskin could only flail at the air for a moment before crashing to the floor.

Lyco let out a shriek of laughter. “I knew it was in there somewhere! We just—”

Raskin scrambled up, snarling furiously, and lunged at her. This time he caught Lyco with a leg, but the impact only made her stumble backwards.

“Hey! Raskin, calm down!” She picked up a handful of small rocks and threw them at his face, forcing him back a little. “Calm!”

Raskin hissed through his nostrils, heart thumping. “My mother died when I was still a kit. She fought illness for years. How dare you even suggest that it was because of me—!”

“I didn’t know!” Lyco said, holding her paws up defensively. “I swear, I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?! Why are you smiling, then?” Raskin demanded. It took great effort—as well as his better judgement—not to lunge at her again.

The lycanroc’s smugness did not waver. “Because you attacked me.”

Raskin froze. He suddenly became conscious of what had just happened. Of why they were even here. “I… I did,” he said dumbly.

“I knew you could do it,” Lyco said. “It just took a bit of… prompting to bring to the surface.”

Raskin frowned. He wanted to say that Lyco shouldn’t have gone to the lengths she did to make that happen. But if she hadn’t, he would be as stuck as he was a minute ago.

“What now, then?” he said.

“What now?” Lyco chuckled. “Well, even though your attacks were… full-blooded, there were lots of mistakes. Especially in the scratch. Do you have any ideas where?”

Raskin thought. He barely remembered the actual movements. Just the raging hatred he had felt in that moment. “...No.”

“Okay. This is what you looked like when you used your claws.”

Lyco crouched in front of an invisible opponent, then took a comically large swing with one arm that went from her shoulder to almost touching the ground. She stumbled over herself dramatically.

Raskin frowned. “I don’t think it was that bad.”

“Oh, it was,” Lyco said matter-of-factly. “The power of a scratch should come more from your wrist than your arm—or leg, whatever. If you keep a smaller motion, you’ll get more power in the attack and it won’t make you flail like a pidgey learning to fly.”

Raskin nodded, keeping a tired sigh to himself. It sounded reasonable.

“Another thing,” Lyco added. “Don’t reveal your claws until you’re just about to bring them down. Extending them as early as you did made it clear to me what you were about to do, even though you were moving quickly.”

Raskin nodded again. He’d have to get more accustomed to flexing his claw muscles… or whatever they were.

Then, thinking over her words, he had a sudden rush of abandon. “Who taught you to fight?” he said.

Lyco froze, her eyes narrowing. “Excuse me?”

Raskin’s mind raced to respond. “This teaching of yours… it’s very precise. Instructive.”

“Is that not what you want?”

Raskin smiled. Snappy. I must be getting somewhere. “I’m just saying, I’d be surprised if you taught it all to yourself.”

Lyco scowled at him, but didn’t snap again. “My parents,” she said eventually. “You could say that they taught me the things I believe in now. Fighting was a part of that.”

How did they teach you?” Raskin said. “Surely you couldn’t have fought anywhere in the city.”

“’Course not. They brought me here.”

“This exact house?”

Lyco shook her head. “I built this one.”

An abrupt silence came over them when the lycanroc didn’t elaborate. But Raskin wasn’t satisfied.

“You never addressed what I said outside the Entei earlier. This stuff about your parents is probably the first personal detail you’ve shared with either me or Sid. Why won’t you tell us anything about you? Can’t you see it’s curious to us?”

Lyco regarded him levelly. “I think you know more than enough. I don’t need to be your friend, Raskin. We just share an ambition.”

“But—”

“Enough!” Lyco snapped. “We’re wasting time. Get up, and attack me again.

Raskin sighed inwardly. You refuse to talk about yourself, yet have no trouble insulting my family that you’ve never met, was what he wanted to say. But he knew that Lyco was right—there were more important things to focus on.

What were her instructions to him again? Right, his scratching motion. And don’t reveal claws so early.

He stepped up to Lyco, more carefully this time. It was easier to get into the zen-like state of before—he just recalled what Lyco had said, how he had felt, that smug look on her face, and his limbs became unstuck.

He paused for a moment in front of her, thinking through the scratching motion in his head, then lunged and extended and swung. He felt a ripping sensation in his paw, then Lyco stepped back, grunting.

It connected!

“Don’t just stand there admiring yourself!” Lyco growled. She suddenly launched herself at him.

Raskin leapt away as fast he could, managing to escape with just a glancing blow to the side of his head. He winced as it started stinging—Lyco had connected with something sharp. But Lyco was already back to her feet, so he spun and tried another scratch, this time with his left paw in the hopes of catching her out.

Lyco beat away his paw with one of her own as it came down. Then her opposite arm lashed out from nowhere, catching Raskin just below the neck. He cried out in surprise, backing away.

Then he noticed Lyco had paused. She was hunched over, seemingly short of breath. Getting an idea, Raskin did another quick mental imagining, then jumped towards Lyco. He intended to lead with his shoulder, as she liked to, but twisted too much and ended up kicking out with his back legs. Even though she swerved away, one of them caught her on the muzzle.

He got a sudden rush of energy at the contact, like a spark of electricity in his bones. It felt… thrilling.

“That’s enough!” Lyco said, holding a paw up. “I’ve been pushing my EFS enough tonight.”

It took a moment to Raskin to connect the dots— her Energy Fatigue Syndrome. His excitement faded. “Are you alright?”

Lyco chuckled. She seemed to be grinning, long canines poking out of her mouth. “Fine,” she said. “That was much better though. Let’s stop for tonight.”

The moment Raskin relaxed, he felt his own fatigue like a ton of bricks. They had been going for what felt like at least an hour, virtually non-stop. No wonder Lyco needed a break.

For a second, he allowed himself a private smile. In the end, things hadn’t turned out so bad. There was hope for his fighting nature yet.

He moved towards the door. The pitch-black unknowns of Oldden were even less appealing when coupled with the aching in his legs that had just become apparent. He sighed. “This’ll be a nice walk back.”

“Hm?” Lyco grunted, looking up. “Didn’t I tell you? You’re sleeping here tonight.”

Raskin froze. “No, you did not. How do you figure that out?”

Annoyingly, the edge in his voice seemed to only amuse Lyco. “Well, you said it yourself. It’s a long walk from here in your state. There’ll be police patrolling the streets too. How d’you plan to explain your presence to them, way after curfew?”

“I…” Raskin’s mind didn’t seem to be at its usual sharpness.

“And you don’t have a day job now, so there’s no rush to get back.”

“I… suppose,” Raskin said, defeated.

He turned back into the room, casting a gaze over the pile of hay at one end that seemed to be the bed. “Is that all there is?”

Lyco gave a frustrated huff, shaking her head. She started pulling an end off the hay. “You know, our ancestors would have given an arm and a leg for a bed like this.”

“That doesn’t mean I should be happy with it.”

“Those ancestors also knew how to fight,” Lyco continued. “Maybe you could learn something from them. Here.” She chucked the new pile of hay at him; Raskin barely brought his forelegs up in time to stop the bundle knocking him to the ground for the fiftieth time that day.

“If it’s not comfortable, try flattening it with your paws,” Lyco said, stretching out on the well-worn pile she had left herself. “Oh, and watch out for insects. Night.”

----

Special thanks to Talgoran and Shadow for their help on this one :)


Chapter 8 Review

— Read this chapter twice to look for details. I noticed how the archaic terminology of “lowering his body into what seemed like a more fighting stance” reflects Raskin’s own lack of polish.

— Lyco is kind of a horrible person. But I feel like she need to be in order to crack Raskin’s thick shell. I wonder if they’re going to stay allies forever.

— I feel like Sid’s growing strength and confidence is paced really well with how the Fight Den is progressing. They come off as intertwined.

— Is Raskin’s discomfort intertwined with Fight Den’s success too, I wonder? I’m curious as to how big of a plot point this whole ‘problem with fighting’ thing will be.

— Raskin’s dad’s release date is looming… haven’t forgotten about that!
 

Negrek

Abscission Ascendant
Staff
Sup cynsh. I said I'd take a look at this a while back, so here are my thoughts on what you've posted so far.

Like I think pretty much everyone else who's commented has said, I really love the premise here! It's always fun to see a fic that doesn't fit neatly into one of pokéfic's typical genres and which explores the pokémon world in an entirely different way. Pulling on the thread of "pokémon love fighting" or even the idea that battle is somehow central to what pokémon are is really interesting. The Fight Club parallels are also fun, although I don't think you're going to be taking things quite the same direction. :P

Raskin makes for an interesting central character here. The running theme in his life has been him doing things he doesn't really want to do for the sake of others or for society, and I like how that's actually true of Fight Den on top of everything else. Raskin doesn't like to fight, doesn't like resorting to something illegal after all the slaving he's done to achieve a reputable "normal" job, but he ends up more or less forced into sticking with the underground fighting ring idea. Recent developments may indicate that he's going to turn to enjoy battling at least for a little while, but I feel like, long-term, something's going to have to give. What does Raskin actually want out of life beyond basic survival, and is there any way he can find it in the society he's living in? I'm curious to see where you end up going with this; I feel like Raskin's still got quite a lot of growing to do. Like all the pokémon who've been repressing their fighting nature, I think he's been burying his real desires deep down.

It's been interesting to have the POV switch over to Sid now and again in recent chapters. Although his circumstances are pretty similar to Raskin's, he's obviously been having the time of his life with the whole Fighting Den thing. It's interesting how you've linked his love of battle to his creative pursuits--as he gets more in touch with his wilder side, he's also able to express himself more freely in other ways. I definitely don't have as good a handle on Sid as I do on Raskin. We don't really know what drives him, and for the most part he just seems like he's here to have a good time. I'm curious to see where you'll take him in the future, and whether he'll reveal more hidden depths as we learn more about him. In particular--I'm curious to see whether his relationship with Raskin is going to be able to survive the events of the story! They do care for one another, but up until now they've been united by common circumstances... Fight Den's already brought out some tensions in their relationship, and is sure to only amplify them with time, and it's going to be fun to see if the two of them manage to hang onto their friendship going forward.

Lyco is also a bit hard to pin down at the moment, as Raskin has been more or less perpetually exasperated about. I like her as a counterpoint to the other two, much more rough and ready and experienced in this realm than they are, but outside of her basic personality there hasn't been a lot for me to grab onto yet. I do wonder whether her shadowy past may involve some more intimate knowledge of what's going on in Deepden than the other characters have.

There were times where the characters' actions didn't really make sense to me, or where they felt they acted the way they did because it was what made the plot work rather than what would make sense. A good example is Lyco leaving her house (or whatever) unlocked, despite the fact that in addition to knowing that break-ins are (presumably) common in Oldden, she apparently has had multiple encounters with one guy in particular taking up residence when she's away. Another would be the fact that Raskin and Sid decide to send letters to everyone they want to join Fight Den, rather than speaking to them in person. I didn't get why they thought this would be a more secure way to do things!

The worldbuilding is also something that's felt a little off to me here and there. I'm a little confused by the relationship between Deepden and Oldden, for example. When we're introduced to Oldden, for example, I got the impression that it was a more rural, agricultural area--like, relatively spread-out buildings, hay bales and wood piles all over the place, etc. But evidently it's also just an easy walk from Deepden city's public transportation? On the flip side, Oldden as just another district of Deepden seems kind of weird to me--it seems strange that there would be *such* a sharp divide between "fighting is for barbarians and no adult is allowed to do it" and "yeah sure people fight all the time around here." Like, you absolutely can have pretty big differences in culture between one part of a city and another, even one street to another, but such a sharp divide is odd to me. Like, if Oldden is so well known as having low police presence, actual fighting, etc. then I'd tend to expect that the border would be crammed with bars, brothels, illegal fight clubs, whatever sorts of places catering to the vices Deepden residents can't indulge in. There seems to be a weirdly low amount of crosstalk if the places are essentially right next to each other, and I haven't yet been able to get a firm grasp on what exactly the relationship between these two is supposed to be. The worldbuilding pedant in me is also super bothered by the apparent lack of the farms that would be necessary to keep a place like Deepden ticking, heh.

A number of people have commented on some of the oddities of Deepden, like the fact that it's so bipedal-centric, and at times simply seems so hostile to what most pokémon are and how they live. My understanding is that this is intentional and that we'll be learning more about what's up with that later on, which is definitely eyes-emoji as far as I'm concerned. I'm also curious about what may have been implied by Raskin and Sid's extremely similar firings--there definitely appears to be something shadowy going on behind the scenes here. Combined by the fact that there apparently aren't any known settlements outside this one city, and no one dares cross the vast and dangerous river that separates them from the outside. This definitely reminds me of the setup of many a dystopian novel where it turns out there's actually a great big world out there and the isolated society is some kind of experiment or kingdom controlled by some kind of shadow government that wants to keep everyone away from the outside world in order to preserve its power.

In this case I wonder if this isn't some kind of long-running experiment in trying to "humanize" pokémon: prevent them from battling so their elemental abilities weaken, force them to adapt to a humanlike society, condition them not to fight back. Or perhaps humans died out a long time ago and this is an attempt to recreate their culture out of some sort of reverence (but why?). Or maybe once upon a time humans all turned into pokémon, and this is their attempt to find their way back! Lots of possibilities here, all of them interesting, and most of them not quite as out there as some of that speculation. :P One way or another I'm definitely curious what you have in store here, and how Sid and Raskin are going to end up delving into it more deeply. It's a little hard for me to guess how long this story's going to be--not nearly as long as a PMD epic, I should think, but perhaps 30-40 chapters? It is starting to feel to me like this is around the time we should be starting to see whatever's in the background start to come to the fore and see how it's going to interact with the A-plot. We can tell that something's off here--now where are you going to go with it?

In general, I'm here for all the worldbuilding about this weird pokémon society and what might have come before. I felt like we got a fair amount of that in the first ~4 chapters, but it's taken a bit of a backseat to getting Fight Den up and running recently; I'd love to see it come back a bit!

I haven't really commented on the prose here, as this is more of an overall review. The writing is pretty solid; nothing stood out to me in particular, aside from one small detail. I'm pretty sure that every time you used the word "eyelid," you actually meant "eyebrow." Like, there's a whole lot of raising of eyelids going on, and raising an eyelid is just... opening your eye a bit wider, heh.

In any case, it feels like the story's just finished its sort of "introductory" sequence, where Fight Den is established and the general situation laid out, and we're about to plunge into the "complications" phase. There are a lot of directions this could go: there's no possible way Fight Den is going to remain secret for much longer, with the number of people it's pulling; Raskin's dad is going to get released in the not-too-distant future, and he's not going to be pleased about all this; there's whatever weirdness lies beneath the surface of Deepden; and I wouldn't be terribly surprised, either, if fighting turns out to have certain downsides despite being a liberating way for pokémon to reconnect with their bodies and powers. All in all it's hard for me to predict where this story's going to go next, or where it's headed overall, which isn't at all a bad thing! This is a refreshingly different story that concerns itself with some very compelling ideas, and also it has a lot of fighting pokémon, i.e. my fave. Thanks for sharing, and good luck writing the rest!
 

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
I appreciate the double meaning behind the title. Fighting nature as in fighting your own innate tendencies and fighting nature as in literally engaging in honorable combat with the elements. It tickles my punnier sensibilities.

Although Fight Club is an obvious point of comparison, I was reminded more of Fahrenheit 451 when it comes to famous novels. At least so far this seems less like an exploration of toxic masculinity, and more like re-discovering something that was forcibly removed to the detriment of society. Not to mention both scenarios involve a law that on the surface feels taken to its extreme, borderline absurd conclusion, but in execution feels natural as it unfolds the potential ramifications of a police state (or, at the very least, the nature of over policing an area).

It has a dash of Aggretsuko vibes too, what with the mundane office life and furry creatures. Of course, as the story progresses, it could always pivot, I can’t really say for sure just yet. But at least for now it seems like it’s meant to be more empowering than not.

As a heads up, I’ve already read three chapters, but I’ll focus primarily on chapter 1 for this review. Later reviews will probably be in bulk though since that’s what you seem to prefer.

I dig how different this opening feels from Fractured Elements. Raskin isn’t an amnesiac like Fen, so he already has a bunch of established relationships and history for us to learn about. The way we monotonously go through his morning routine with him gives the opening this lived-in quality.

Also really dug the repartee between Sid (woo, a quilava as the main character! We made it bois!) and Raskin pretty much right off the bat. Sid sticks his head under a faucet of ice cold water! He loses his keys all the time! #Relatable

He showered quickly, dried himself even quicker, then, noticing that his wet tail had been dripping copiously on the floor, gave it a quick trimming with his electric razor. It had taken some time to get used to doing this, but he had it down to a fine art now. He sat in front of the mirror, with his tail curled around his body, then used one paw to pin down the point he wanted to trim to. This was usually where the first streaks of black started coming through its orange fur – the black fur always grew thicker for some reason, and tended to droop on the ground, gathering dust. From there, Raskin just had to keep his paw holding the razor steady.

This was a nice detail. Another point of contrast between this and FE is how the pokemon feel intentionally humanized and urban. Given you tend to place a lot of emphasis on nature I’m curious to see if that factors into the evolution of the fight club at all.

Now be honest: Do you have Raskin shave his tail because you don’t like the design for Nickit tails? lul.

(Although I could see this being setup as a visual payoff down the line, but like, I need to know for sure if I know you as well as I think I do.)

Raskin and Sid’s dynamic does seem to vaguely echo the dynamic between Fen and Ryu. Fen and Raskin are both more on the polite, cerebral side, while Ryu and Sid are more physical, exuberant characters. And someone who shows up in the next chapter does give me mild Zephia vibes. But the setting and backstories are different enough that the similarities strike me as purely archetypal. Writers tend to have certain concepts they fall back on across their works anyway, which is totally fine.

I kind of felt bad for Locki. She seems like a nice sort. I felt less sad when I found out she supports cops, though. Me and all the homies hate cops.

Heh, just kidding. Still, I’ll be curious to see how Locki comes into play down the line. Right now her character strikes me as one that’ll try to snoop around and cause a bunch of chaos (cuz she a SNITCH). I hope she develops more beyond that though.

Oh, you know what else this reminds me of? Stardew Valley! Only instead of a farm we get pokemon beating the shit out of each other. That’s rad.

Anyway. I’m not sure if it’s just a minor world building moment or not, but it’s interesting that computers are only just now getting installed into the workplace. It almost feels like the first of the major turning points, as it takes the banality Raskin was already suffering through and amplifies it further. Also another example of technology (humanization again, maybe?) generating a sense of malaise. Poor Raskin and Sid are too young to be going through a midlife crisis.

On an unrelated note, my mom actually worked at a bank when she was younger. Someone even tried to rob her once. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen to Raskin.

I liked the mention of the Athletics as a replacement for battling that doesn’t necessarily feel satisfactory, but still helps pokemon work off their pent up energy. Makes sense.

The anticlimactic way the fight fizzles out is really well done. It’s just so lacking in true resolution, in catharsis, even I felt stymied, and I’m a reader. Never mind how it must’ve felt for everyone watching as well as Raticate and Ivysaur (random crazy theory: he’s Savi’s descendent. FE extended cinematic universe when?).

“You know, sometimes at work, if no one’s watching… I go out behind the back of the greenhouse and scream. Just to… release some of this frustration.”

Poor baby. I already love Sid. Part of me does wish we could’ve SEEN him break down, maybe explore his banal greenhouse job, but I also respect strictly adhering to a singular POV. And the little clues leading up to Sid’s melt down are nice, too. Regardless, this feels like the final, most important turning point (the second one being the almost-fight) that culminates in Raskin’s lightbulb moment.

And thus, the central premise comes to fruition. You do a good job gradually leading us to Raskin’s epiphany. You’ve firmly established some really solid chemistry between the main cast as well as defined their motivations.

Also, with the introduction of Oldden and homeless pokemon, is that an exploration of class warfare I smell? In MY pokemon fic? O la la, the plot thickens.

My one theory so far is that even though humans aren’t mentioned, they’ve had some impact on the world somehow. Maybe a long time ago. Like, maybe pokemon revolted against them because of pokemon training and that’s why fighting is outlawed. Or maybe they’re distant overlords controlling the city from afar somehow. A science experiment? Hmm. Idk. But while they won’t have an impact on the character beats, I think they’ll have some sort of impact on the setting overall.

I didn’t touch on the prose because I think it really suits the style you’re aiming for, and any critiques would be so minor as to not be worth mentioning. And that’s awesome! It makes me happy to see how much you’ve improved as a writer and how the way you write still manages to feel very… Cynsh. If that makes sense.

Excited to touch on this again after I get some reviews done for other works. Keep up the good work!
 

windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partners
  1. sneasel-nip
  2. bidoof
  3. absol
  4. kirlia
  5. windskull-bidoof
  6. little-guy-windskull
  7. purugly
  8. mawile
  9. manectric
Hey there Cynch! This is gonna be a review over the first three chapters, since that seems like a good break point. Let’s jump right into things!

Chapter 1

I like the dynamic you’ve got set up with Sid and Raskin. They really do feel like friendly roommates.

The entire opening passage, and entire first chapter in general, does a good job of setting up what kind of society we can expect. It’s very… interesting, how humanlike their society is. It’s obviously a very intentional decision from you as the author, but what I’m really curious about is what it means for the story in general. What made the pokemon settle like this? Did they come up with it on their own? Or are they mimicking some sort of society that vanished, be it human or something else? I feel like it’s more likely the former than the latter. But just how human they act feels like it’s got to be plot significant. And that’s setting aside the whole premise of “Fighting their fighting nature.”

Regarding the fights, the fact that sports are so big in their culture really plays into that whole idea of them trying to fight off the urge to fight. Athletic events, what else are they other than structured competition?

Raskin understood at once, and had to suppress a smile. Why else would Locki be so vehemently opposed to fighting?
Don’t think I didn’t miss this clever little set-up. I don’t believe for one minute that Locki’s only reason for being against fighting is because her dad is an officer. I mean, maybe I’m wrong, but that just feels like the perfect deflection. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has some other deep-rooted reason for disliking fighting, and I get the feeling we’re going to see what’s up at some point. Regardless, she just feels too significant to only be a side character. Maybe I’m overthinking though. Who knows?

If there was one thing I think felt a little bit weak in this chapter, it was the end scene, where we see Sid’s depressive moment. It’s not bad necessarily, but when we’re told that he’s not usually like this, but we’ve barely had time to see it for ourselves, I think it kind of lessens the impact. All we really have to go off of that this isn’t the “norm” is Raskin’s inner thoughts. If I were to change anything, I would have spent a bit more time with Sid at the beginning of the chapter establishing his norm.

Chapter 2

I’m glad we jump into the plot pretty fast. There was already set up in the first chapter, jumpstarting the plot before too much time had passed. And chapter two continues that trend. The motivation for our main characters is quite clear: money. But the prose also makes it obvious that there’s more to it than just that, even if they don’t realize it yet.

I like the way you approached pokemon with different forms, describing the sandshrew as “yellow-hided.” In a different story, I would have expected description by typing, but although later dialogue suggests theres some level of favoritism (and probably prejudice as well) based on type, the fact that pokemon generally don’t fight means those elemental attributes are generally less important. And without them, they’re basically just… animals. Animals playing at being something more. But that’s more my interpretation and I’m probably pushing thoughts that aren’t meant to be there.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m really curious about what your intention was with the nidoran fight. Obviously, there was the whole thing about just how unequiped for fighting these pokemon had become. But at the same time, the nidoran was at first acting sort of… feral, to use the traditional pmd term, to the point where I wasn’t really certain if it was sapient or not until it spoke later.

I don’t really have much to say about Lyco, but I really like her, and I’m looking forward to seeing what’s going on with her later on in the fic.

I’m also really curious what’s up with the land beyond the river. I feel like there’s some suspicious stuff going on there.

Chapter 3

I don’t have a whole lot to say about chapter three, there were only a few scnes here, but that’s primarily because the fight scene was the main centerpiece. And I must say, you did a great job of setting up the tense atmosphere here. The fight is kind of long and drawn out in comparison to most fights, but I think that comes partly from the spectacle of it. We’re not just reading a fight scene, we’re reading characters watching a fight and getting to experience all the emotions that come with that, and that key difference is what allows you to use up so much space with this fight.

Maybe, Raskin thought as he watched them, it’s a blessing we won’t be doing this again.
Oh, he’ll be doing this again. Or at leat, I expect he will.

I really like what I read so far. I don’t really know what else to say on that. Just to wrap up, though, I’ll give a couple predictions.

I suspect Sid is going to want to continue arranging fights, with Raskin being much more reluctant. One or both of them will get caught at some point, though I’m suspecting Sid is more likely, which is going to lead to Raskin having to confront society. I suspect that Locki will be involved in some way, either with her father being involved in an arrest or in her being involved in ratting them out. I suspect that Lyco’s past is going to come up sooner rather than later, and wouldn’t be surprised if it has something to do with going up against the current societal standards. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Until next time.
 
Top Bottom