Pokémon Dragonspiral's Children (redux)

[rimly]

Reading time! :D

Spoiler: chapters prologue - part 3

okay! so the narrator voice here is fun. the "i knew this family growing up" framing just works, feels like someones telling you about people they knew over coffee or something. and the little asides where they lose track of their own point or go off on tangents feel like a real person talking which i find really really cute! :D

mr. and mrs.doe arguing about the druddigon gift is where i perked up. mr.doe going "a druddigon is easy to care for" and then immediately "...for a dragon-type pokemon, of course" while his own mienshao is giving him a look... ha. and mrs.doe is RIGHT to be skeptical! this man gave his children a large carnivorous reptile and his argument is basically "well shes chill and also local pride." and it works on her?? says a lot about this family honestly.

james is kind of just... there to be small though. john and jane both have their own snark flavors but james is just youngest-kid-says-cute-thing. hes five so fair enough but yeah.

the dragonspiral tower scene! neela roaring in johns face when he calls the rock stupid. thats the first time she feels like she has her own thing going on outside of what the doe kids want from her. up to this point shes been annoyed when james bothers her, confused by human stuff, going along with things, etc. etc. but here she picks her old home over her trainers. returns the stone, scolds the kids, and when john talks shit about where she came from she gets in his face. more of this please!

the bread scene is sweet :) gives james something to actually do for once. the tranquill bit is funny (johns "id be thinking of dinner too" line especially lol) but its also the most after-school-special-y moment of the bunch.

"good morning, cardboard box" ha. good punchline :D

the gym challenge stuff is where i kinda drift. both john and janes attempts get summarized so fast they feel like footnotes. jane especially... the story builds up her planning, her confidence, her whole strategy, and then its just "unfortunately they werent a shoo-in" and shes out the door confused. if gym challenges arent what this story is about (and i dont think they are?) thats fine but like... either show a bit more of the battle or trim the leadup. the ratio feels off.

but then neela with janes cubone at night. no narrator commentary, no mr.doe stepping in, just john coming downstairs and finding the druddigon curled around this scared little pokemon because she decided to handle it on her own. :) and johns "shame we cant just ask you to explain whats going on"... yeah.

carol! im keeping an eye on her. she trends toward being the person who shows up with answers... she knows how to scratch druddigon chins, she solves the gym badge thing with marbles, she gets dragon hoarding instincts from draydens gym. she does get things wrong too, mixes up neelas gender on first meeting, and when the axew gets stuck in the tree neela handles the rescue on her own. so shes not infallible. but i want to see what she looks like when she doesnt have a solution ready.

the marble trade is well done though! introducing carol through something the does didnt know about their own pokemon tells you who she is right away. and the axew hiding behind her legs... hes so small and scared and she just gets dragons. cute pair.

the windmill scene at the end is probably the best thing in this whole batch. the kids are annoyed, ready to force-recall neela, they climb up to drag two misbehaving pokemon home... and then theres just this sunset over icirrus city and dragonspiral tower and suddenly they get it. and then the axew and druddigon trying to blame each other for whose idea it was keeps it from getting too pretty :)

four chapters in and im enjoying this but im ready for something that lasts longer than one scene. every conflict resolves pretty quick so far. im hoping the dragonspiral tower stuff and neelas pull toward her old home get to simmer a bit more going forward.

 

[rimly]

Spoiler: Chapotr 4

Neela just straight up claiming the entire inflatable pool for herself and being completely unbothered about it is peak reeally cute. the image of this dragon filling the entire thing with her body, wings spread, hose running over her scales while three kids stand there sweating... priorities!!

"… I think we should ask mom and dad to get us a real pool," he said. "There's not even enough space left over for a Joltik to share it right now!"

james is right. get this girl an actual pool.

the convention though!! this is where the story opens up the world. four chapters of icirrus city backyard stuff and suddenly theres a whole plaza full of dragons from all over. the variety is great - feathered ones, furry ones, one covered in slime :)

"Boh… mander?"

the pokemon regional language thing is sooo good. i didnt even think about that before but of course they would have different languages?? and the narrator going into how the rhythm and enunciation differ and sometimes the cries are completely different sounds - this feels like the narrator speaking from experience, not just knowing facts. mhmmm

also "Drattak" for Salamence in Kalos. these are real foreign dex names right? thats a fun touch.

Er… well, there was probably a good reason why that Salamence didn't smile much. A dragon's smile tends to be more frightening than endearing to most others, since it looks about the same as the expression one would have right after finding lunch.

the narrator not understanding the internet and being like "some 'internet' thing, at a 'Dogars' place or something" is hilarious

Yeah, the Axew had the luck to stumble upon a Hydreigon. Now, running into a Pokémon that's commonly said to attack and eat just about everything it comes across can already be a scary experience; having one abruptly shove one of her mouths close enough to you to feel her breath when you're shorter than most front door mail slots can be outright terrifying.

"shorter than most front door mail slots" god thats how small Chopper is. and the whole sequence is told from the pokemons POV which is the first time the story has done that for an extended stretch?? Neela bracing herself, Chopper hiding behind her, the Hydreigon getting dirty looks from passersby just for existing...

and shes just. nice. trying to help two lost kids find their way back.

the passersby giving her dirty looks while shes literally reuniting them with carol. that says everything about how Hydreigon get treated huh.

Much to Carol's surprise, the Druddigon gave no reply other than to turn her glance away and paw at her shoulder with a sulking growl.

the post-show mood tho. Neela watched that Haxorus light up the sky and she CHEERED for it and then it ended and she went quiet. is it just about the show being over? or is it about seeing what these dragons can do and wanting... that?

Perhaps it was her intuition, perhaps it was just a lucky guess, but Jane gathered that the family Druddigon's sullen mood had come about precisely because she had had fun, and yet it had come to an end.

Jane reading Neelas mood here is really sweet. shes the one who gets her. the chin scratch, the quiet reassurance. Johns not paying attention, James is already excited about next year, but Jane just sees that Neela is sad and goes to her.

and then that ending

Though not all things in life repeat like the seasons, and oftentimes those events are the ones that shape one's life the most. And so it was with the Does and the Pokémon that lived with them. As the couple of years after that happy late summer night proved to be a season of great change for them… and one of upheaval.

oohohho

so thats the other shoe. four chapters of building up this warm little life and now the narrator is telling us straight up that its not going to last. "no year has two summers" as a chapter title hits different now. this wasnt just a fun convention chapter, this was the last good day before something changes.

what IS the upheaval. the narrator needing time to "think through how to do that particular tale justice" feels ominous. something bad enough that even retelling it is hard?

:00

grammar:

• "lazingly rubbing up against a craggy wall" - "lazingly" isnt a word, should be "lazily"
• "When I used to lived here" - should be "used to live"

good chapter! the hydreigon scene and neelas post-show mood are the highlights for me. ready for whatever this upheaval is gonna be tho... :D