Pokémon Broken Things

[Persephone]

Fighting 3.14: Conversion
Genesis

There’s a small relief in knowing what you were doing wrong.

But now you know how you’re broken and you want it fixed now but you don’t know how to do that so it’s just an itch beneath your skin and a feeling of disgust in your stomach.

You sit on the floor of the shower for ages and stare blankly into the darkness. Then being naked feels wrong so you get out and find loose clothes to put on. All of it a chore in the dark. Worth it when you can sit down on the toilet fully dressed and stare into the void. Much better. Much less sexual.

Were you always like this? Were you infected? When? By whom? Is that why you were drawn to Lyra in the first place. The memory of her proposing to you in middle school surfaces and you suddenly want to puke. No. No. You turned her down. You weren’t like that then. When did it change?

You felt something when Lyra kissed you. Then you just latched on to the next cute girl—not cute, she’s not cute—and. You don’t know how any of this works. Mother does. Mother’s known what to do longer than you have. What was she talking about? A school, like Exodus’s. Away from here. In the light.

It’s all too much. Your body or mind gives out abruptly and the next thing you know you wake up fully clothed on a toilet seat.

*​

The door opens and Mother walks in, the starmie trailing behind her. Your skin crawls with people in your space, but you shove the feeling down. You deserve it. Need it, maybe. You can’t be left unsupervised.

“You were right,” you croak. “You were right.”

You stare down at your feet. You don’t know what comes next. What you deserve. Dread and acceptance war within you as Mother advances with soft steps before sliding down onto the bed beside you. You feel her warm arms wrap around you as she leans closer. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispers. “We’ll get through this.”

You cry. It’s not dignified but you do. She just holds you tighter and starts rubbing your back while softly humming a hymn. It’s peaceful. Purifying. By the time your tears dry the clouds of anxiety have parted and a ray of hope shines through.

Mother leans away and clears her throat. “Are you committed to doing better?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“The Creator is stronger than the wicked one. What’s broken can be fixed by His grace.”

She slips her hand into yours and stands up. “Come. I want to show you something.”

You follow her and the starmie trails after. The shadows seem larger, the halls emptier and colder. All cast in the red light with which the pokémon exposed your lies. Wait. If the starmie could know, why wouldn’t Cuicatl? She would have also been in your head. Would have known. Or maybe… she wanted to take advantage of it. You shudder, glad that you dodged that bullet. She is altogether too much like Lyra for your own good. The light shifts to green. Oh. You were thinking about her. You must not do that from here on out. Banish her from your thoughts. Exile Allana as well. Nothing good could come from either of them.

Mother guides you down two flights of stairs before she begins walking again, this time to a room with glass doors. Light shines through them and you can feel the warmth as you approach. “Your father bought the castform a sunny day TM. It’s made itself useful since.”

“He.”

Mother stops and stares at you, an eyebrow raised.

“He. His name is Count Cloudy.”

“Like one of your books.” Her gaze turns sterner. “I did not know you still thought about such childish things.”

“I…” Suddenly you’re back on the defensive with no idea what to say. Things were going so well, too.

“I will have them reviewed. See if they might have played a part in your corruption. In the meantime, you are strictly forbidden from reading them.”

Not like you even could in the dark.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” She steps forward and opens the door for you. “Your pokémon await.”

You walk through the doors and are surprised by the heat inside. Is Count Cloudy making all of that? He’s come so far in just… however long it’s been. You lost track a long time ago. He twirls around when you enter the room and lowers himself to your height. Then he rushes forward and presses into your shirt. A residue of warm water marks his arrival. The sound of moving wind fills his body. Usually a happy sound. Oh. You didn’t know that he was so attached. You love him, sure, but Cuicatl’s pokémon—banished. She is banished.

Ferny is curled up in a basket with one paw pressed over the edge. He glares at you and then goes back to sleep. Oh no, did he think you had abandoned him? You didn’t mean to. You become very aware of Mother standing behind you and aren’t sure how to explain that without saying something wrong that she could dig into.

“Hi, Cloudy,” you whisper while you pull him into a hug. It only gets more of your clothes wet, but he seems to like it. Eventually you step to the side and walk over to Fern’s basket. You kneel down and start scratching one of his long ears. He opens his eyes again to stare at you. After another minute of scratching he puts a paw on top of your hand and presses down. He sniffs you for a second and then curls back up. Fine. No scratches.

There’s an inflatable pool in the corner of the room. Something splashes inside as you come closer. Sir Bubbles sticks his head over, pushing himself out of the water with quick movements of his tail. Then he dives right back in.

“It’s alright, Bubbles. I just want to take a look.” He does not come back to the surface. “Brave, brave, Sir Bubbles…”

“Where’d you learn that?”

Mother’s voice is sharp and commanding again, all warmth gone.

“What you just said, where’d you hear it?”

“A friend at school? I think?” It was from a knight movie or something.

She practically growls. “Never should have sent you there. You were fine, better than fine, and then they desecrated my precious daughter. Expose her to drug addicted, atheist, homosexual filth.”

You had no idea that line was tied to any of that.

“I didn’t know—”

She sighs and smiles again. “I’m mad at them, sweety, not you. I want to help you do better.” Her gaze lowers to your clothes and she frowns again. “You’re wet.”

“Coun—Cloudy is made of water.”

Her nose scrunches up. “And you hugged it?”

“Yes—”

“You’ll need more work than I’d thought to get you back to being a proper lady. Come on, let’s get you changed.” You hesitate. You want to stay here and keep hugging Cloudy and try to get Fern and Bubbles to like you again. Something bordering on rage flashes in your mother’s eyes. “You will be able to see them again in good time, dearest. Come with me. Now.”

You follow without a conscious decision.

*​

“Genesis!”

Your head snaps up at the sound. Levi is calling for you.

“I know you’re in there, Genesis!”

“Run along now, master Leviticus.” The voice is gruff. Something you’d expect from one of the security staff. Your room is guarded in addition to being locked. You should have expected that, really. Not sure how it makes you feel.

“My sister is in there. I just want to talk to her!”

A radio comes to life in a burst of static. “Mrs. Gage, we have a situation at your daughter’s room.”

“I told you, I just—” His voice rises to a near shout. “You can hear me, right Gen?”

You want to tell him that you can. That you love him. That you want to talk about everything and hear how he’s doing but. If Mother doesn’t trust you to talk to him yet, you probably shouldn’t. She knew about your sin before you did. There’s probably more that she knows but you don’t. And she deserves to have one pure child.

“Please, I want to talk.”

You raise your legs to your chest and hug them, wincing in pain as your feet chafe against the edge of your too-tight heels. You are supposed to wear them at all times unless you are showering, at least until you can relearn your manners. You haven’t worn them in months and they hurt more than usual, but that’s only further proof that you need it. This pain, hearing Levi’s voice but not being able to respond—you also need that. Even if you don’t know why.

You can hear the harsh clacks of Mother’s shoes on the floor. “Leviticus Elisha Gage, what are you doing?”

“Talking to my sister.”

Is he sassing her? You knew he was bold, but you’ve never known him to do this. Children do not defy their parents.

“I told you, she’s sick. Stay away.”

“Then I can call her. Just set up a phone and—”

“Go back to your room, Leviticus. I will not ask again.”

“Why can’t I—”

“One,” Mother says. You can imagine her with an eyebrow raised, glaring down at her son.

Leviticus just huffs indignantly.

“Two.”

“Fine. I’ll go.”

He stomps off, clearly not happy about it. You half expect Mother to come in, to try to help you through things, but she walks off shortly after. You’re left alone with just the darkness and your aching feet for company.

What you wouldn’t give to have Cloudy with you now. Or to be able to read something. You flop back down on your bed and your mind wanders to a castle under deep fog before you sigh and pull yourself back to reality. Mother hasn’t reviewed the books yet. You can’t get too deep into that world until you’re sure it isn’t part of the problem.

That leaves you with nothing to do. Again. Too soon to shower and after your last one and after that experience... You don’t want to again. Not until it would be unladylike to go any longer without one. Sleep, maybe? You aren’t tired. At all.

Not like you can read scripture or anything. Just sit here and think. Think. About. Something. Boys, maybe? It’s ordinarily sinful to think too much about them. You used to be proud on how little you did. In hindsight, maybe you should have tried to think about them more.

You could always try now. Focus on what makes them hot. Like, their, um. Muscles? People like muscles, right? Not like you’ve worked with too many athletes. Bodybuilders always grossed you out since they look like they have some gross muscle cancer problem. Cuicatl’s are pretty. Small but visible, partially because she’s so small that there isn’t much fat masking them and—

You’re going to need more help than you’d realized.

*​

“I’m to understand that you’re making progress.”

Father doesn’t hug you when you file into his office. He barely acknowledges you at all. Just sits behind his desk, reviewing the documents on it. His pyroar sits off to the side and watches you with a curious gaze.

“I have accepted my fault, yes.”

“Hmm.” He signs at the bottom of the page and shuffles the next document in front of him. All without looking at you. “Good, good. Now we can discuss the next steps.”

“A school? On the mainland?”

“We’d rather not. Your sister’s results have been less than satisfactory. We cannot bring her here, obviously, so she will stay until at least the age of majority. Then we can see if she is truly ready to be independent or if she will fall back on violence and criminality.” He scowls. “Have you heard from her as of late?”

“I called her on Thanksgiving.”

“And?” He pulls the paper closer to his face to read it. Must be hard in the faint pokémon-cast light.

“She said that I should keep doing the island challenge. Stay away from you.”

And she’d said there was something you didn’t know about yourself. Wait. Did she mean—how? You barely even see her? How had she figured that out? Or was she bluffing? That’s it. She was bluffing.

“Unsurprising,” Father murmurs. “She wouldn’t stop at trying to take one child from me. No, she must also go for the other. Never call her again.”

“I will not.” It’s an order you will happily follow.

“Good. What had we been talking about?”

“Schools. You didn’t want me to send you to one…?”

“Yes. That was it. We sent you to an excellent one. Run by a priest and with deep ties to the faith.” He scoffs. “I gave them quite a bit of money, and they gave me a lesbian daughter in return. No. I’m done trusting those fools. If you want something done right, you do it yourself.” He finally sits straighter in his chair and meets your gaze. “Your mother has a friend with some experience treating homosexuals. For now we would rather you be treated inside the home where we can keep a closer eye on the process.”

You aren’t sure if you have a choice here or not. Mother had suggested that you might have one, but after hearing Father’s reasoning you aren’t sure you do. You could disagree with him, yes, but you aren’t sure what you would disagree with…

“Okay,” you say, in case you were supposed to agree.

He glances back down at his paperwork. “Good. I will make the necessary arrangements.”

You know the dismissal for what it is.

*​

Mother and her starmie lead you into a conference room with a smooth, oval table in the middle. It is not the round table, even if it is a round table. You should not think of it that way. Mother pulls up a seat and sits down. That was. Unexpected. You were sort of thinking you’d be left alone with her friend for this.

Said friend clears her throat and your attention to her. She’s older than your mother. Her features are sharp and her hair is long, blonde, and dull. Even in the faint light you can tell that she isn’t wearing makeup and her clothes have no color. ‘To avoid tempting you,’ a voice whispers in the back of your mind.

“Hello. My name is Mrs. Rivers. You will address me as such.”

She stops and stares at you. Was that a command? “Hello, Mrs. Rivers.”

Her eyes narrow. “A very informal greeting. You must do better in the future if you are to reenter society, but it will do for now.”

Another pause and stare. Oh. “My sincerest apologies, Mrs. Rivers.” You’d begun to stop talking like that when you went to school and people gave you weird looks for it. You entirely stopped once Allana started teasing you for it. Maybe she was an even worse influence than you had previously thought.

“Today will be an evaluation. I need to see what I have to work with, first. Only then can I make a plan for treatment.”

She flicks a button on her computer and the screen comes to life, prominently displaying—oh by the sacred tree. Your eyes reflexively dart towards your mother, still very much in the room and fixing you with a hard scowl.

“Keep your eyes on the screen, child.”

You reluctantly turn to look at it. She keeps flashing through more and more pictures and—and videos—of men. There’s something deeply wrong about all of it and you can feel pinpricks of pain shoot into the soles of your feet and rocket up the surface until your legs are numb and you want to tear into them and fold into yourself and forget all of this. You close your eyes and grit your teeth. “Eyes on the screen.”

You do your best to keep your breathing steady. When there are girls in the images you keep your eyes away from where they want to go. You are filled with shame when your gaze slips. Excitement, too, but that is only drowned out by more shame.

The screen goes black and the woman’s harsh eyes bore into yours. “I have seen homosexuals more set in their ways,” she says. “But only in late-stage homosexuals. The ones who had already fallen far down the path. Tell me, which of your whores did you enter into lesbianism with? The Asian? The transvestite? Or the demon-worshipper?” Sheer hatred seeps into all the descriptions.

“None of them! I promise…”

The light on the walls doesn’t change. “She isn’t lying,” Mother finally says. “I think she has another problem entirely. She was a good child who stumbled astray. Seeing the imagery for the first time and being confronted with her sin in a way she couldn’t hide from may have been stressful.” She reaches over the table and puts a hand on your shoulder. “Poor dear.”

The meeting ends. It’s all a blur. Mother’s touch is comforting but you—you want more. You want to hug people you shouldn’t. Hear them tell you that it’s fine and then talk it through with them. And you can’t feel like you can do that with Mother and it fills you with shame. Another sin. How many are you drowning under?

You finally—finally!—get back to your room and are left alone. You draw the sheets around you and hug your legs to your chest. Then you kick off the heels because no one will know and you have more than enough discomfort in your own skin.

Mother spoke up for you. Defended you. She doesn’t think you’re beyond hope. Your pokémon are still here. Your brother still cares about you. You can get through all of this and be better for it.

A weight of guilt settles on your shoulders. You can get through everything, but you must try. You must obey. You can’t just be straight when Mother is looking. You must be pure all the time.

You awkwardly slip your feet back into your shoes. If you wince at the pain, well, no one can see it in the dark.

 

[WildBoots]

Noci continues to dazzle and delight, wowowowow. I loved the argument between them towards the end. I guess speaking in monotones doesn't necessarily make you a better liar. Who knew.

The idea of waiting for Noci to show up to really start the fight proper is fun. She's like a kid waiting to get picked up after school, lol. Though, I have to admit, my eyes glazed over in large chunks of the battle itself. Very video game-heavy and it made me less invested in what was happening. Though! I appreciate how much Cuitcatl's other senses came into play to flesh things out a little more.

Can Cuicatl not read the toxapex's mind (or any opponent's) to know what it's about to do and be better able to warn her team that way?

It's interesting how much blindness came up in this chapter, not an obstacle in and of itself but as a barrier that other characters unknowingly place between themselves and Cuicatl out of ignorance. We really see how little other people know and understand about it in this chapter. And how, damn, VStar is down to make money off of it. Cuicatl seems not to have realized yet why the reporter thinks it's relevant. Oof.

Spoiler: Line Reactions

You can still feel them on the bottom half of your face where your hat can’t stretch down, but they don’t chill you all the way through the thickest clothing you could afford.

"The winds" is just far away enough from "them" that this reads a little strangely. The second half also wants something like "this time" or "for once" in it.

You’ll get a chance to start saving sooner or later.

Oof what a mood.

You’ve thought about it and you don’t think she actually scared Noci off. Or that she even could. She just talked herself straight into trouble with you. Doesn’t mean you’ve apologized for making her sleep with Kekoa last night.

Hahahaha.

“You Qwhycattle?” He butchers your name, but you smile.

“Yes. Are you Cor-ay?”

“It’s Cory, actually.”

“I’m sure it is.”

Also a mood!

He’s a trial captain, not a kahuna, and there isn’t even a pre-totem trial anymore. There’s very little reason not to be petty.

I think a colon (instead of a period) would make the connection between these two ideas a little clearer and improve flow.

{Nocitlālin, where are you?} You get no response. Predictable. Well, you can always try her dumb old name. {Unit1_374, are you there?}

Wait, had she not tried this before?

{Can you come here now? It’s important.}

{Initiate Ramming}

Hahaha, beautiful.

You need to get an everstone welded onto her soon if she can just run off and evolve.

WELDED ON

“I was just talking to one of my pokémon. Psychic-type. She might come in mid-match. Is that okay—”

“She can’t interfere, but if she just comes in that’s fine.”

I was confused which one of them was talking here.

“Oh, sweet.” The captain doesn’t seem terrified or in awe. Weird pokémon are probably just normal for him. “Saw Tsuwabuki’s metagross once in Hoenn. Scary things, you know? …Not that metang are like that.”

Wow, I love/hate that I know exactly who that is immediately. You can tell which parts of Bulbapedia I hang out on. so he's not Stone at all here, huh?

you were her sister and he was just an amusing mammal.

Amusing Mammal is the name of my new band.

And if she isn’t you can always try again. Battle is something that takes all your focus. As long as that’s coming up you won’t worry as much about your maybe-dead-maybe-evolved pokémon.

Okay, but like ... she knows for sure than Noci isn't dead, doesn't sbe?

It feels like spring has finally come to Undella Town.

Where is Cynthia.

The bleachers soar upwards with waterfalls and rivers weaving between them,

"Soar upwards with" makes it sound a little like the water is actively lifting the bleachers. I think this would reader better if "with" were a comma instead.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” The crowd roars like a furious beast. “Today’s match pits Danielle Lee of Nimbasa,” you do your best to tune out the wave of disapproval washing over you, “against an all-American hero, the one, the only, give it up for Admiral Wilford!”

Punctuation:

“Ladies and gentlemen!”

The crowd roars like a furious beast.

“Today’s match pits Danielle Lee of Nimbasa”--you do your best to tune out the wave of disapproval washing over you--“against an all-American hero, the one, the only, give it up for Admiral Wilford!”

It’s magnified by the giant screens in the corner of your eye.

I'm confused about what you mean here. Seeing the screens makes the stage look bigger? The stage is magnified onscreen, which she can see in the corner of her eye? (How clearly can she really see the stage-onscreen if it's in the corner of her eye?)

You’d think that would mean everything was done that would be done

This was tough to parse.

What’s your back up plan?

I think backup is all one word in this context.

Maybe not your best plan, but it could still work…

This seems like it should've come earlier when she first started thinking about stalling for time.

And you really need to keep people from thinking that you’re a psychic. You’re on thin ice after the butterfree incident.

It seems like this is really all Lyra has to do to fuck with Cuicatl, TBH.

Every time she grunts or hisses or roars, but never gives up.

No comma here.

Makes direct hits do nothing and poisons whatever tried to attacl/ Annoying.

Typo?

Baneful bunker isn’t a reliable way to poison a target and make venom drench really hurt.

Is "isn't" a typo here?

It’s a mangled, deep mess that sounds a little like a woodchipper.

Hahahaha, nice.

Hopefully it’s shallow enough for her to run, but she says she can swim so there’s that.

??? Could ... could t-rex swim? This sounds like something you would've researched the fuck out of. Plz tell me. I also have a tyrantrum going on now. Tag-team effort.

{Growl a little and look focused.} Because she doesn’t know nasty plot. That doesn’t matter. At all.

This is funny. But, man, it must be confusing for her pokemon to get two orders from her at once.

and if the totem thinks you’re boosting

Would it, though? This seems like something she could fool a human with but not a pokemon.

Your legs are shaking. You need to sit down. No rule against that, right?

Oof.

It sounds like a woman screaming with a smoke alarm mixed in.

Wow, gud screm.

which is a little hard when your head is tucked underneath layers of armor.

The "your" was hard not to parse as "Cuitcatl's" here, given the second-person.

{Initiate Ramming.}

That’s probably fine.

👏

And now that you’re thinking about the possibility of eating. You could just leave that to the gods. See if you deserve to today.

OOF.

and do your best to keep eye contact.

Wait, how?

you like them a lot and you’re pretty sure it has no harm on the environment, you have no comment on deaths, it’s nice to still have some money to make and be able to help the pokémon move indoors.

I think if these were shorter I'd be okay with the comma splices to replicate the speed and hollowness of it, but in this case it's jarring and doesn't feel intentional because these sentences lack parallel structure and are rather long.

This isn’t what she wants to hear. This isn’t what you tell her.

I think the order of these two sentences should be flip-flopped.

She gets told that you trip a lot

Why the passive construction here?

“I definitely remember that.”

{Negation. Terrans possess flawed memory drives.}

“Not that flawed.”

{Negation.}

Amazing, perfect.

Trap sprung. “Who was giving orders to the other beldum?” No one owned that one, right? Does this count as theft? Does her old ball even work? You gently tap the ball’s release button and nothing happens. Great Time to buy a new ball.

I like that she's really thinking this through on a deeply metaphysical/ethical level, haha. And, HUH, I did not expect the ball to get fucked up by this.

The more you look at him the more there is to like. He has a nice tan and a really good face. Strong jawline, eyes full of life… You shouldn’t stare, but he just smiles when he notices. “Saw your match today. Really gave the old bastard hell.”

Oh no is this--
Yup.

Excited to get Gen back! And sorry it took me so long to get to this one.

 

[Persephone]

Fighting 3.15: Kalani
Pixie

January 29th​

It somehow, wonderfully, became even colder as you journeyed back to sea level.

Everything else has been going wrong. The stupid rock you scared away came back bigger. And it talks! It keeps following you around asking why you’re marking your scent and how you make things cold. At least before it didn’t tell you how dumb it was. And now Skysong can fly on its back! She can just fly places now if she wants to go somewhere. Without you! And she hasn’t apologized for making you stay with Bloodrage for a night. He stinks, even by human standards, but she dared to laugh when you told her about that.

Now she’s trying to make it up to you. Eggbreath and Eyerock are nowhere to be found. It’s just you and her sitting down by the sea, a brush running through your fur. She’s even promised to carry you away when she’s done so you don’t get sand in everything. You hate sand. It’s coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

A gust of cool wind rolls across the beach. Skysong stops brushing you for a moment and pulls her falsefur closer. You barely even notice as you bask in the wonderfully icy air.

The world lights up. You startle and turn to see a radiantly beautiful creature walking towards you, moonlight shining from her fur. She holds her tails up delicately behind her to ensure they do not touch the sand. Her footsteps are silent; you would not have noticed her at all were it not for the light.

“What’s going on, Pix?” Skysong asks. You ignore her. She is not as pretty as the ninetales in front of you. The fox pauses for a second and her icy blue eyes bore into yours. Then she slowly, gently leans over and reaches down. Her mouth softly settles around the back of your neck and she pulls you out, holding you by the scruff.

Skysong must feel it. She lashes out, flailing a hand at the ice-type and reaching for Eyerock’s ball. The ninetales drops you and lunges, white tails billowing above you. Your trainer’s back hits the sand and the fox’s snout presses down into hers. A low, powerful growl fills the air. “Stay away from my kit,” the ninetales demands.

“Your—I thought you were on Ula’Ula?”

The ninetales ignores her and turns around, picking you up in the same motion. You can hear one tail whipping out to strike Skysong. Kit. This ninetales doesn’t smell like Avalanche. It isn’t her. No one you know from the mountain. Or the one from the cave. It still feels so nice to be held. Protected. Called family. And Skysong had been mean anyway…

“Wait! I just want to talk!” The ninetales doesn’t answer. Her mouth is full, after all, and humans insist that it is rude to talk that way.

Red light races towards you and swallows you whole.

*​

The world shatters. All of your jumbled thoughts snap back to clarity as everything fragments and collapses or violently explodes around you. Then it all fades just as suddenly and you’re left sprawled out in the sand. Shards of your pokéball are scattered around you. The ninetales is hunched over you, tails spread wide in an aggressive stance. Skysong is laid out on the ground and groaning softly. Eyerock hovers low nearby. Half its body is coated in a thick layer of ice. Good. It deserved to learn how powerful a ninetales is. Besides, Skysong’s the one who attacked first. Bruises and blood are a far lesser punishment to what the fox could have done.

Eyerock falls the rest of the way and crashes into the sand. A red beam absorbs him a few seconds later. Skysong doesn’t send out Eggbreath. A shame. They could also use a lesson, too.

Your trainer’s eyes flutter open. “Pixie…” she mutters. {Use roar.}

The ninetales continues to stare her down. Why is she still trying to fight a guardian of the moon? You knew she was stupid, but this takes things to a new level. You’re certainly not going to fight one.

“Need… help. Call… please.”

She doesn’t even look that hurt. You got your feet and side scorched for her a few days ago. She can take a tackle or scratch or whatever the ninetales did. Although humans are frail and noseblind. She might not be able to get help on her own. But she does deserve this.

{Have Eggbreath do it.}

She sighs, wincing in pain as she does. Definitely faking things. You can’t even smell that much blood. Her head finally settles into the sand. {Fine. Be safe.}

The ninetales watches her for a few more seconds before picking you back up by the scruff of the neck. Once you’ve gone a long way down the beach you hear Eggbreath’s pathetic roar behind you. The ninetales stops for a second and glances back. Then she keeps on moving as if nothing was wrong.

Eventually you find yourself at a wooden structure raised up above the sand. The ninetales slinks in through a flap in the door and walks to a fluffy bed on the other side of the room. She finally sets you down. Before you can properly look around, she pulls you in with a foreleg and presses you into her side. Her tails come around to blanket you.

It feels so good. So familiar. You didn’t know how much you missed it until now. All of the good memories rising up at once. It’s been years, but you’re finally getting what you deserve.

The ninetales brings her head over to yours and starts licking your fur. There’s not too much that needs to be done since you were just brushed. She’s still very thorough, making sure that every part of your fur is properly cared for and that you are marked as hers.

“Who are you?” you finally ask. Again, it’s no one you recognize. But she seems to recognize you.

“Kalani.” Her voice is lower than you would have thought. Soft, gentle, dangerous. Perfect for a ninetales. “Were you born on the mountain?”

“Yes.” You don’t say anything more. This is a very good moment and you don’t want to ruin it by thinking about not good things.

“So was I.”

Exiled, then. Like you. Why would anyone ever abandon her? She’s perfect. She carries herself gently and fights fiercely. Her siblings couldn’t have been better.

Maybe mothers just don’t know their children very well.

The clicking of claws on a hard floor come from another room. Kalani huffs and pulls you closer. You’re surrounded by tails and can’t see who enters the room.

“Who are you talking to?” A canine dialect. His steps sounded heavy yet his voice is low to the ground. What dog is this?

“None of your concern.”

The dog sighs. “Try again.”

“None of your concern.”

There’s a long period of silence.

“There’s an extra heartbeat here. You were talking to someone.”

“None of your concern.”

“I’m telling the boss.”

Kalani’s tails whip around and she gets on all fours. “Do not.”

You can finally see the other canine. He’s a disgusting shade of light brown with sharp things poking out all over. Even worse to cuddle than to look at. Kalani is right to dismiss him. For some reason the other dog does not look intimidated. Just curious.

“Where’d you get that?”

“I found her.”

“You found a vulpix? Just walking around on her own?”

“Yes.”

“No trainer?”

“Yes.”

The ugly dog keeps staring at Kalani before finally looking to you. “Do you have a trainer?”

You aren’t about to contradict a ninetales.

He snorts. “I’ll let the boss deal with it.” Kalani hisses but the dog doesn’t notice. His steps move farther and farther away. With a low growl Kalani finally lowers herself around you and continues licking your fur into shape.

“Who is he?” you finally whisper.

“Stupid rock. Heard I wanted a kit. Decided he could give me one. He cannot. I do not want my child to be ugly.”

“Smart.”

She huffs and cold air gently flows past your ear. “Yes. You’re better than a half-rock.”

It feels good to hear a nientales praise you. Even if it’s faint praise.

Kalani finally decides that you’re properly groomed. She nuzzles your head. “I won’t leave you.” She says it so softly that only you could hear. Then she settles down to the ground and sprawls out for sleep. She purrs. It goes through your entire body and it’s been so, so long. You purr, too, and soon you both fall asleep with happiness pulsing back and forth between your bodies.

*​

The door opens. Loudly. An obnoxious man walks in with something big and unwieldly walking behind him. “You here, Kalani?”

The fox whines in righteous irritation at being woken up from her nap.

“Heh. Feel you, girl. Can I have some light?”

Soft moonlight flows across the room. The irritating clacking sound comes back.

“Alola, Po. How are you doing?”

“Kalani has a vulpix,” he says.

The big pokémon says it back in human tongue. Something like the human tongue, anyway. It’s all subtly wrong, different sounds emphasized or almost silent. It sounds like music, one of the few sometimes-decent things about humans. Its voice is almost as pretty as Kalani’s. You press your face out of Kalani’s fur to see what it is. It’s blue with a long tail and no legs. Random fins stick out everywhere. No fur at all. Terrible. One of the ugliest things you’ve ever seen.

“A vulpix, ay? Where’d you get it.”

“Found her.” Kalani barks it out like a challenge. The strange creature sings it back with the challenge gone.

“Found her? Where at? Down the beach.”

“Yes.”

The human moves on without waiting for the song. He can recognize the simplest of ninetales sounds. This makes him very smart for a human. “Strange. Just got back from the Center down the way. They’d found this girl laid out on the beach with a set of long cuts on her side. Shredded her clothing and got through to the skin. She was cold, too. Colder than you would’ve expected from the time she’d spent out and the clothing she was wearing.” He pauses. “Wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“No.” The man sighs. Kalani presses on. “Humans get hurt all the time.”

The man sits down when the song ends, his weight settling into hard furniture that creaks along the wooden floor. “She said something snuck up on her. Took her vulpix and froze her metang near solid. Must have been a powerful, stealthy ice-type to do that. Maybe even quieter and stronger than you. What do you think about it? Is there any ice-type better than you around?”

Kalani hisses. It has a meaning every fox should instinctively know: go away or prepare to fight. The man does neither. He kneels down and holds up his hands, palms out.

“I know you want a kit. Trust me, I’ve been working on it. Just fell down the priority list with the darkness and aliens and all that. That doesn’t mean you can just take a vulpix that already has a home.”

“She didn’t have one.”

“I just talked to—”

“Humans can’t give a vulpix a home. You don’t know how.”

The man’s expression changes as the strange pokémon sings. He averts his gaze. Submission.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. But. She has a trainer she seemed happy with. It’s not fair to just take her away like that.”

“She’s happier here.”

Kalani turns to stare at you, finally asking for you to say something. What should you say? Were you unhappy with Skysong? She was going to abandon you eventually and she didn’t understand you, although she did try. Kalani has promised not to leave you. She understands what it’s like to be left alone in a strange place, rejected by someone who should have known better. You can trust her to keep you by her side. And she’s so, so pretty… Kalani runs a paw into your side. It’s time to answer.

“I like being here.”

The creature sings. The man looks disappointed. “Alright,” he says. He slowly stands back up, hands sliding from his thighs to his belt—Kalani disappears and the room is plunged into darkness. “Sorry about all that. She can be a bit much sometimes. A friend of mine, her ninetales had kits back in November. Kalani’s been obsessed with having her own since then. A rivalry, maybe. Hard to tell with her.”

He makes it sound like ninetales are irrational and impossible to understand. Even though he can talk to them through his weird companion. You would definitely not stay here for him. Skysong is much better. But you wouldn’t be here for him anyway.

“I’ll bring you back in the morning, okay? Right now your trainer’s in a bit of a rough spot. Wouldn’t do her any good to cuddle with an ice-type while she’s recovering from frostbite.” Since when does frost bite people? Is he saying that Kalani bit her? Because she can’t complain about that after all the times Eggbreath has chomped on you. “I’ll let you get your new ball tomorrow. For now, uh, what do you want to do in the meantime?”

“Can Kalani come back?”

“Oh.” It sounds like he wasn’t expecting that. “I don’t see why not?”

Kalani reappears and engulfs you in her tails.

“Mine,” she growls.

The man doesn’t need a translator.

*​

The next morning the man, still unnamed, walks you back down the beach. One of the floating tentacle light makers flips through the air beside him. It isn’t nearly as bright as Kalani, but he doesn’t seem to trust her. As if a ninetales would ever be untrustworthy.

It feels like it takes longer to reach the Pokémon Center than it did to walk away from it. Maybe because you didn’t actually have to walk through yucky sand last night.

Once inside he walks you down the hall to Skysong’s room. She’s in loose falsefur when the door opens. Eyerock floats behind her at the very edge of the light. Eggbreath is nowhere to be seen. You walk through the door and flick a tail into Skysong’s leg so she knows you’re there. She immediately bares her teeth and reaches down to scratch your ear.

“Miss Ichtaca?”

Skysong hums instead of answering, too absorbed in cradling your head in her paws.

“I’m sorry for the trouble. Kalani’s never done anything like that before.”

“Oh? You got your ninetales to behave? Most of the time, anyway.” She doesn’t sound angry. Amused, really. “You wouldn’t have any tips, would you?”

“Bribery.”

“Figured that one out a while ago.” She gently flips you onto your back and raises you up to the top of her chest. A little higher than usual. “I bought some bloodsicles for you, by the way.”

Your ears perk up. That is one thing that Skysong has and Kalani doesn’t. It may be the only thing, but it is a big one.

“Heh. Seems you’ve got the basics.” He laughs and you squirm against Skysong’s chest. Skysong’s voice means her laughter is fine, but males can still be menacing. Not that they could hurt you anymore. You’re a lot stronger now than you were. “How’s your side healing?”

Skysong slowly lowers you to the ground again. “The scratches still feel cold. Nurse thought there might be a curse woven into it. If it hasn’t ended in a few days I’m supposed to call someone in Hau’oli.”

“I can pay for that.”

“Thank you.” Skysong’s hand locks up. She’s scared. Of him? You’re fine fighting him. Kalani doesn’t seem to like the man, anyway. “It’s a small thing, but…”

“Go on.”

“Can you pay for a new coat? I would mend it myself, but the material is different than anything I’ve worked with.”

“Of course. I have one I can loan out in the meantime. It used to be Selene’s, actually, but she outgrew it…” Selene. Firemane. Why does this man know Firemane? Your suspicions only grow. “And I brought you one more thing. If you can hold your hand out.” It’s a pokéball. Cold radiates off of it. How? “It’s a glacier ball. Kalani tolerates hers. Thought it would be a good replacement for her old one.”

Cuicatl reaches out and the man presses it into her hand. She then lowers it to you. “You can press the button,” she says. A pokéball that even a ninetales could like? You’re interested. You press your snout into it and feel the world fall away.

…

You still exist. That’s new. You glance around to see rocky craigs covered in snow and ice. Freezing wind runs through your fur. There’s a cave with a bed in it cut into one cliff face. You head over, gracefully moving through the snow like you were born for it. Because you were, in fact, born for it. The winds die away the moment you enter the cave. The bed itself is warm but not hot. It’s comforting. And boring. You have beds outside.

The snow is deep enough to bury yourself into. And to stay buried in. You haven’t been able to do this in years. There are cliffs to explore still. More territory to examine and mark. You can take care of all of that later. Now you want to take a nap under the snow and imagine that Avalanche is watching over you.

*​

The snow disappears and you find yourself lying next to Skysong in the dark. You’re almost disappointed. A pokéball that’s good rather than just not terrible. Why didn’t you have one of these before? She runs a hand through your fur. “Can I check you over? Make sure you aren’t hurt?”

“I’m not.”

“I would like to be sure.”

She checks you for injuries by petting you. This is acceptable, even if she won’t find anything.

“Okay.”

She feels cooler than usual. Still warm, but not as intensely. Is that the air being cold? You being cold? The curse? You turn your eye to the world of spirits. Ninetales can move spirits around to let them go or curse the living. Vulpix can only see them, and even that requires a lot of focus. There’s a pale blur running by Skysong over her usual swirling green and black. Probably the scratches. She said that she still feels cold… that’s a small curse. Make her always cold so she understands what it’s like for you to be always hot. Barely even counts as a curse at all. Unless it lasts. Then always being the wrong temperature is terrible.

She really shouldn’t have pissed off a ninetales. What did she think was going to happen?

“Where’s Eggbreath?” you ask. Did they get hurt? They might stop biting you if they saw what a ninetales can really do.

“With Kekoa. I wanted to have some time alone with you. Mostly alone. Noci refuses to leave my side right now. Sorry about that.”

You can’t see it in the darkness but you assume the rock is staring at you from somewhere. That’s always a safe bet. What will it do when you bring the light back? Hiding will be much harder for something so big and ugly.

“You promised blood.” You almost forgot after your snow nap. You’re glad you remembered. It seems you got hungry in the ball.

“Right. Let me grab one.” She awkwardly shuffles along until she finds the box you keep filled with ice. You start drooling in a very dignified manner as soon as the smell hits you. “I’ll give it to you in the tub. Easier to clean up that way.”

“I am a very clean eater.”

“I know. Just want to be sure.”

You huff. If you weren’t getting frozen blood out of this then you’d be more upset.

It’s easy to follow the scent of blood. Then you get to devour it. Blood is maybe the best food. The taste of rich metal. A feeling of warmth in your gut that’s like being snuggled from the inside. The feeling of dominance over your prey. This blood is cold and you didn’t have to kill anything for it, but it still reminds you of love and victory. Besides, you need cool more than warm near the sea. Even if the moon eater made everything colder.

Maybe you can put off defeating it for a little while longer.

*​

Skysong is a worse cuddler than Kalani. She’s wrapped around you but can’t fully surround you in her tails. She can’t keep altering the temperature so you’re always comfortable. You can’t feel protected by her because you’re the one protecting her. Sometimes she wakes up screaming at something that isn’t there.

You had enjoyed cuddling with her just two nights ago. She was flawed. Still is. But at least she was warm and looked after you. Now it feels like the bar should be higher.

Humans can’t give vulpix a home.

Is she wrong? Humans have tried to give you a home. Maybe they could succeed. A ninetales could still do it better.

The one in the cave, though, he told you to go back to Skysong. Why? He didn’t seem to like humans that much. Wanted you to settle for someone who could just understand your words.

A faint pink light shines by the door. You perk up and listen as gears turn and a lock clicks. Moonlight floods the room as the door is pushed open. Kalani enters, radiant as always. She walks over, feet nearly silent even on the wooden floor, and picks you up in her mouth. Skysong shivers and murmurs something without waking up. “Alice, please…”

Alice. Again with Alice. The sister that she told you about. That she’ll choose over you.

Kalani turns around and leaves the room. You don’t alert Skysong. Eyerock stays perched in its corner unmoving. Good. It learned its lesson about fighting ninetales. Liar is fast asleep in her bed. The human who keeps watch over the entry is also asleep when you pass. Humans. Can’t even stay awake right.

Kalani only sets you down when you’re back inside of her home. She immediately sweeps you up in her tails and starts licking you over, just like last night. Checking for injury like Skysong, maybe. She eventually seems satisfied and uses a tail to press you against her body.

“What’s your name?” she asks.

Had you never told her?

“Pixie.”

She growls. “I thought that was a joke.”

“Sixthborn of Avalanche. My old name.”

“She didn’t want you.”

It claws into your lungs to hear that said by a ninetales. “No. She didn’t.”

“I want you.”

You start purring in anticipation and joy. You’re wanted. Wanted by someone who matters.

“Firstborn of Kalani. That is your new name.”

“You’re my mother now?” You think so. You hope so. A part of you is terrified you heard that wrong.

“Yes. You are my firstborn. I will never leave you.”

*​

The man finds you in the morning. He and Kalani fight again.

“You can’t do this,” he says.

“You cannot stop me,” she answers. “This is my firstborn. I will not let you take her.”

The man walks out, muttering something about Mondays.

You should really name him at some point. Or ask Kalani. “Does he have a name?”

“Openliver. He doesn’t wear falsefur over his chest. Dares enemies to attack his organs. He survives anyway.” There’s something like respect in her words. Then it fades as she snarls and sends out waves of cold. “I will destroy your captor if she takes you again. Curse her until she wishes to die and finds the spirits unwilling to take her. I will do the same to Openliver if he tries to take you.”

You’re torn. The promise of protection settles over you like a blanket. She’s protecting you from the wrong person, though. “Skysong looks after me. Don’t curse her.”

Kalani growls. “Has she been good to you? What does she do? Get in the way of attacks? Hunt for you? Keep you cold on hot days? She can’t understand you. Humans are useful tools. They can never be family. Not even friends.”

“She can speak to me. Mind stuff. And she listens to my stories…”

Because they’re useful to her. She didn’t ask about them much before she needed them to keep Eggbreath.

“Doesn’t matter. Bubbleface can talk to both of us. He still doesn’t understand. They cannot. We are brilliant lords of the cold. They are dull, treacherous servants of the sand. They will take what they can use and reject everything else.”

“The ninetales in the cave said that.” Something like that. About humans not being able to understand us. “He said that we’re trapped.”

Kalani growls. “An old fool. He has forgotten what matters. Nothing could trap us.”

“Who is he?” you ask. “I didn’t know we lived wild off the mountain.”

“We don’t,” she hisses. “Only him. I don’t know his name. Don’t care. It doesn’t matter. The curse matters.”

Right. She isn’t done with Skysong. Um. She isn’t that bad? For a human. It’s not her fault she was born furless, dumb, and weak. “They’ll try to hurt you if you curse someone.” You think she could take care of herself. It just feels wrong to torture someone who at least tried to keep you happy.

“Green-eyes fought the sun himself to save her children. I will do the same if I must.”

The sun demanded to eat one of Green-eyes’ children. She refused. Green-eyes fought the sun for a full day before the sun had to sleep for the night. They fought again for eight more days before she stood victorious and drove the sun away. That is why it is so easy to keep The Mountain cold – the sun does not wish to go there.

She only had two left when the sun came. If he had just come a little earlier than she would have let him eat one. The love and power of a ninetales mother is unmatched, but only once their two have been chosen. Kalani comparing herself to Green-eyes means that you have been chosen. Another happy feeling fills your tails.

*​

Skysong comes to Kalani’s home to meet you. The ninetales stays inside, seething after she ceded the argument to Openliver. She would not have allowed you to meet her at all, especially not without her present. Kalani’s forced to stay behind the door listening in.

“Hello,” Skysong says while you approach. There’s wood here so you don’t have to sit on the beach. Good. “Can I check you over?”

You don’t need it, but it’s still petting. You hop up onto her lap and let her run her paws through your fur.

“She adopted me.”

“I heard.” Skysong doesn’t sound happy about that. At all. {Are you sure about this? You’ve only known her for two nights? What if she isn’t what you think?}

{She adopted me.}

Skysong sighs and sets her paws down on either side of you.

{I’m not saying you can’t stay with her. I just want to give you some time to make your choice. I have an offer in the meantime.} Is she using you? Kalani said she would. That she always was. {I’ll give you two chances to prove how strong you are to Kalani. Once she sees that she’ll definitely never want to leave you.}

She wants you to fight for her. Again. You want to say no. Kalani will protect you. Skysong makes you protect her. But her words make you pause as a shiver of doubt runs through you. What if even Kalani will leave you? She invoked Green-eyes. You are now her firstborn and she will fight to the death to protect you. There is no longer a need to let some children die and make some children leave. But Avalanche left you without a second thought. {What would I fight?}

{A bug and a crab.}

Insects. You can crush insects. It will be a good show of your strength.

{I will fight them.}

{Thank you.} Her paws find your fur again. {I hope you stay with me. I love you, really, but I won’t keep you from family.} “Just know that even after” {the fights are over and} “I leave for another island, you’ll always have a home with me if you need one.”

Skysong’s lying to you even if she doesn’t know it.

Humans can’t give vulpix a home.

 

[Pen]

Double review!

Flying 3.12: Gale Force

This chapter feels a little undirected to me. I think the issue is that I'm not very invested at this point in how Kekoa does on the island challenge, because so much more is going on that feels pressing. You write battles well and intelligently, but without stakes I tend to glaze over a bit. This chapter does show Kekoa managing not to completely crash and burn without Cuicatl holding his hand, so good for him, I guess, but most of that seemed to be his jynx doing the the work. Things feel a bit in holding pattern here--Noci's still gone, Lyra's still lurking, Cuicatl is texting Oricorio Tea Gal.

I would have liked to see more from Kekoa on the Noci front. Having his vikavolt want to leave him was so huge for him--now (from his perspective) hasn't the same thing happened to Cuicatl? Even though she's got her fancy telepathic shit? Does this make him reevaluate his own feelings of failure or give him any vindictive satisfaction? Or does he try to comfort her based on his own experience? Just feels like there's more room for Kekoa to have thoughts on this beyond 'huh, guess she's still upset about that.'

The Lyra scene felt a bit perfunctory. Here is Lyra! She hiss! Wasn't sure what to take from it.

Cuicatl’s still desperate enough to keep her tyrunt that she still keeps in touch.

Double still.

You like Coco, really, but you wouldn’t deal with a demon bird for her. Have to draw the line somewhere.

Interesting coming from Kekoa, who has so many hangups about his brother not doing enough for him as a pseudo-parent. But I guess Kekoa never fully accepted the co-parenting Coco frame.

And then kept going back to message her, usually after asking you if her email sounded too threatening.

Picturing this gave me a chuckle.

You may have underestimated how much the beldum situation is affecting her.

Surprised by Kekoa's surprised--after all, isn't he still reeling from one of his pokemon abandoning him?

You wonder how the grass-type pokémon trapped on the other side of the fence feel, doomed to starve just a few yards away from warmth and light.

I didn't follow this. How are the grass types trapped? Have they been trying to come over?

One of Skull’s less-illegal branches runs a blog online. A few days back they posted pictures of some rich assholes crowded together under castform light having a normal day on their private beach. If the heiress hadn’t kept her castform, would that be what it was used for? Maybe it’s a scam: literally freeze your people out of the market, then buy all the land and stay hunkered down in their bubbles. Keep it all when the sun comes back. Maybe Selene’s even in on it.

Love this. It tracks perfectly for the kind of theory that's just on the edge of plausible if you're already pissed off and suspicious. Kekoa's trying so hard to make Selene evil.

It’s not easy to walk a narrow path in darkness. Your steps are halting and you carefully move in a different direction whenever your shoes press into wet grass.

Does Kekoa not have any light here at all?

You’ve come to the right place.Trial’s on.

Missing space.

Not what you expecte.

Typo

Ihe wasn’t going to get much else done. Cruel to leave him in.

Typo.

If the plan was always to recall him after tailwind, why not do it immediately to get maximum tailwind time?

You look down field and see the clearing coated in a thin layer of snow… except for a trial from the totem to you... Of course.

Reread this multiple times and can't parse it. Is "trial" a typo for trail?

It was healing itself and letting you think that you could rest easy without attacking. Now the winds are weakened, the totem is feeling better, and it still has the calm mind boost. Damn it.

Clever moment. The totem pokemon seem like better battlers than any of the humans so far.

Three crystals down, fifteen to go. Maybe. Not sure if you’ll go out of your way to get the poison and steel crystals. You’re not sure of anything anymore after your vikavolt-in-the-making left and you got a rufflet instead.

I'm a bit confused about how necessary the crystals are. This makes getting 18 crystals sound like the goal, but then Kekoa says he doesn't need them all? My memory from the games is that the only thing you need to do for the island challenge is beat all the trials?

The lights flicker out.

Shit.

You didn’t think ahead to this part.

Wasn't it dark on his way over?

“They let things like her into these places?” Lyra hisses.

This isn't ringing true to me. Lyra knows that psychic trainers aren't registered and tracked in Alola. What exactly does she expect? Feels cartoonish.

“I see.” She says it like she definitely doesn’t. “Um. How did the trial go?”

“I won.”

“Good.” She new at this job? Or are people usually more chill?

Wasn't sure what to make of this. If this interaction doesn't matter and is just small talk, I feel like the answer is not to show it, not to show it and then lampshade that it's smalltalk.

3.13: A Heart Too Large

if you arrange the letters properly, this title says "threat." Uh oh.

Ugh, I really enjoyed this one. Pix's ancestor story is so good. I was spell-bound from start to finish. Of course her culture has a cautionary tale about what happens if you don't follow the rule of two--such a sad story. And this feels like an appropriate time for it, with Noci's disappearance and the scarcity being experienced by the butterfree. I like how Pix's concern for Cuicatl and her self-interest are so entangled. I do think she's trying to help Cuicatl when she tells the story, but Cuicatl's jumping to bad assumptions about her motives isn't at all unwarranted. I'm seeing a lot of signs of Pix getting stronger--one of those powders snows sounds like at least an aurora beam--maybe not quite on ice-beam level yet. And those tails are growing out. I'm curious about how evolution works. The myth mentions that growing nine tails isn't enough, you also have to ascend (ice stone?) It will be interesting to see what evolution means for Pix. As a ninetails, she won't "need" Cuicatl, but her need for love and affection won't be any different.

Instead, you’re trying to figure out where Matriarch’s eevee is. You can smell it. Sometimes it even brushes against your mind to taunt you. But you can’t figure out what direction it’s in. Very confusing.

I'm confused too. Cuicatl is talking to the Matriach via phone, right? How is Pix smelling it then?

“It’s a little like the paras one.” You perk up.

Perk up normally has a positive connotation of interest and excitement. Maybe, "You prick up your ears." Or, "You stiffen."

What! White is the best color. Why do humans want it the least? One of the reasons why they will never be nearly as good as vulpix.

Always here for Pix focusing on the important parts of conversations. I love how her indignation ends the section.

You lead Skysong back through the field of death.

Pixie Sixthborn and the Field of Death

And if she’s annoyed and out of breath then she will not be in the mood to make friends and you will not have to deal with smelly bugs.

A very cunning plan.

You reach the edge of the wonderfully cold cave after passing the scents of five butterfree.

“Haven’t found anything yet?”

“No. We are at the cold cave. Can I play there?”

“Pix,” she groans. “It’s too cold for humans. Sorry, but I just want to get this over with.”

“There may be butterfree in the cave.”

“There aren’t. Come on. Please.”

The dialogue is so crisp here. I shouldn't be so shocked by how often Pix just downright lies.

You sit down and flick your seven-and-two-ninths tails behind you.

Ooh, growing. I like how she counts out 2/9ths like a little kid telling their age.

A deep rumble comes from Eggbreath and she stamps her foot. “Want to play with sister.”

“But won’t you get cold? You can play indoors later.”

Eggbreath stops to consider this. “Indoor play!”

Pix seems to have gotten more savvy about handling Eggbreath.

What. She could have bought you frozen blood at any time? And she didn’t? Why? Do all of them sell frozen blood? Because now you want one whenever you have to sleep inside. At least one per night. Maybe three.

Negotiating, Pix style, lol.

“When my sister and I got kicked off our mountain, our father sent us to different places. I need money to find her. I’m already spending too much as it is and…” She takes a deep breath. “One a day until we get back on the trail. Final offer.”

Humans keep six. This means that Skysong was in a full litter of nine.

I enjoy this continuing culture clash over Cuicatl giving up and trying to reframe her life in terms Pix understands and Pix being very logical about the implications of it.

“I remember when there was light everywhere! It wasn’t there when I grew wings. I thought that winged ones just couldn’t see until an older winged one told me what happened.”

Love this. And some caterpie might grow up knowing only the darkness now.

“Fifteen years. That’s fifteen dry seasons and fifteen wet seasons.”

You can hear the bug’s wingbeats slow as she lands on the ground. “Many generations ago… I’ve never even heard of anyone that old.”

The xeno POV playing with lifespans is refreshing.

if we fly reallh fast

Typo

You could easily defeat eighty-one butterfree yourself, even if they did attack all at once.

Love that Pix thinks in multiples of nine. Makes sense.

You flick the nub of your eighth tail. Soon it will become a full tail and then you will grow a ninth and then you will be unstoppable.

Oh boy. All the blood popsicles.

“Yes! We all need warm. And food. Many have already…” The bug’s mental voice falters and the physical cries stop. “They needed warm and food.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The bug doesn’t answer. “I’ve also lost family. I want to help you.” She sounds sincere. You remember a pokémon one of your earlier humans told you about. It has big eyes and a fluffy tail. It cries and prey comes closer. Then the tail whips around and it’s actually a giant mouth and it eats whatever wanted to help it. Skysong is like that now, pretending to be something she isn’t so that her prey comes to her.

Hm, but is Cuicatl really luring them to their doom here?

“I’ll..” Water starts trickling down from the sky.

Missing a period in the ellipses

If you just keep eating enough frozen blood than she won’t have money for that and you win.

Yet another cunning plan

Love comes from the lungs. Sometimes children are born and the mother does not want to let go, wrapping her tether around the neck so they can never breathe on their own. They are choked with their mother’s love.

Oooh yes inject into my veins different cultural metaphors about love and anatomy. Very nice. And creepy.

Some were proud of recent victories and carried their heads high. One was still bloody from a recent kill. He dragged his tails behind him while the mother of his victim held back a vicious snarl.

Nice job here with zooming in. Gives the myth that touch of veracity.

All agreed, for none can argue with the eldest of elders when they speak with the voice of the moon.

Love this phrasing.

“You should stop caring about rocks and sisters and—”

“—anyone that isn’t you?”

OOF. Excellent back and forth. Your dialogue gets so sharp during Cuicatl and Pix fights.

“You didn’t hurt her, did you? Or run her off?”

“Maybe I did.” You’re very pretty. And strong. You might have scared her away.

Her paw wraps around your pokéball before you can tell her off. You disappear with a scream in your mouth—

--and reappear screaming.

Pix noo, you're doing the thing were you try to drive people you love away to show you don't need them again, and Cuicatl is not in the right mood to handle it.

(You have one gorgeous em dash there and then one cursed double --?? Why do you hurt me like this)

Coward. Skysong won’t even show up to hear why she’s wrong. Too scared of your facts and logic.

This is cute, but feels a little fourth-wall breaking.

 

[Pen]

Another double! Aaand I'm caught up.

Flying 3.14: The Long Game

Noci's back, with an upgrade! Love how cagey she is about her mission. Cuicatl seems quite chill about Noci's ulterior motives. I suppose Coco's really the only pokemon on her team who doesn't have ulterior motives and continually lie to her.

In theory I like the idea of holding out in battle until Noci can get there, but that tension felt very contrived. First, in the fact that it seems like Cuicatl has no chance of beating this trial without Noci. Why does she even challenge without a workable strategy? Then in the fact that she just happens to call for Noci before the challenge and that just happens to be when Noci's ready to return. Then in the fact that she has a chance to challenge the very next morning when Noci will definitely be back, but presses ahead anyway, which just seems like a stupid risk on her part.

Felt like you were going with a bit of parallelism between current events and flashbacks on the topic of dealing with prejudice, Cuicatl for being blind (and maybe psychic) and her mom for being female in the time she lived in. But Mom gets to give a satisfying public smackdown and Cuicatl has to suck it up and lie for the cameras.

Line-by-lines

You should have some more money to spend when you get back to Hau’oli. You hate that you’re just going to spend it all on warmer clothes the instant it gets into your hands, but what else are you supposed to do? You’ll get a chance to start saving sooner or later. Then you’ll be able to buy Alice when she’s sold. It’s fine. You can play the long game.

Still so much self-deception here. I don't think Cuicatl can afford a hydreigon by saving pennies.

“Stupid fluffy hot eevee. Pretends it is a firetails. It is not a firetails.”

{Oh no, that’s terrible.} You can feel the faint heat on your face as it approaches. {Please stop growling. You’ll get a chance to beat up its friend in a minute. That’ll show it how tough you are.}

Pixie yaps in protest but reluctantly quiets down. Good. After… everything, you were worried she’d disobey. You’ve thought about it and you don’t think she actually scared Noci off. Or that she even could. She just talked herself straight into trouble with you.

Nice postcript to the previous chapter from Cuicatl POV.

{Nocitlālin, where are you?} You get no response. Predictable. Well, you can always try her dumb old name. {Unit1_374, are you there?}

A voice comes back, filled with static and pitching up and down like two signals are interfering with each other.

{Unit001_101110110 Has Been Taken Offline.}

This was kind of odd. I wasn't sure why she's randomly calling here. It reads like there's some significance to her using the designation name, but it also seems to be a coincidence?

There was a friend of—of your brother’s that the captain reminds you of. He was one of the best candidates for calmecac the town had seen in ages and he knew it. Sort of. It didn’t mean that he bullied everyone else, but he just talked to everyone like they weren’t important to him. Just some distraction for the moment before he drifted on to someone or somewhere better.

I liked this mini character study.

“We can reschedule if you’re not up to it now. Your friend’s up this afternoon, then tomorrow morning is free.”

“No. She should be here soon enough.”

This seemed kind of silly. Why not reschedule and be certain?

It feels like spring has finally come to Undella Town. There’s a warm sea breeze in the air and the roof of the gym is down. It feels even bigger than it did last time. The bleachers soar upwards with waterfalls and rivers weaving between them, all cascading down into a pair of giant pools.

Such a contrast with Cuicatl's experience.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” The crowd roars like a furious beast. “Today’s match pits Danielle Lee of Nimbasa,” you do your best to tune out the wave of disapproval washing over you, “against an all-American hero, the one, the only, give it up for Admiral Wilford!”

The admiral smirks as he walks towards his half of the platform. It’s magnified by the giant screens in the corner of your eye. “Thought I sent you packing already. Guess I’ll have to send a clearer message this time around: go home and watch the tournament on the couch, where trainers like you belong.”

The crowd begins a chant of “go home, girlie.” You ignore this, too.

Wow, what a fun gym leader. Misogyny is such a fun gym theme.

{Approximately 1986 seconds.}

That’s… over a half hour. You can stall that long. It might’ve taken that long even if you weren’t trying to drag things out. This is fine. You can make it work.

You withdraw Pix and take out your cane when the path evens out and the temperature warms. You’ll need to lead with Coco. It’s not that far off from your ideal plan. Just a little more drawn out.

It doesn't really seem like she had much shot of winning without Noci.

Fourth trial, last before reinforcements start showing up, the totem isn’t holding back or playing dead. Y

Should this be fourth round, not fourth trial?

You can feel all of your stamina rush out of you and into Pix. It feels like reality skips a beat from you standing up to being on the ground with no memory of getting there.

Ooh, nice. Love the z-moves being so physical.

“Nasty plot, Pix!” {Growl a little and look focused.} Because she doesn’t know nasty plot. That doesn’t matter. At all. You’re just stalling for time until Noci gets here, and if the totem thinks you’re boosting then it’ll use haze to counter. And do nothing.

Clever way to bluff with her psychic abilities! The totems must be really attuned to human speech and strategies for that kind of thing to work on them, though.

“B. Time to finish things up.”

You can feel a surge of cold as Pix fires off her aurora beam.

Eyy, I guessed right!

It sounds like a woman screaming with a smoke alarm mixed in.

Beautiful. Flawless.

It’s so hard to find any emotion in her messages, but you think she wants to keep ramming. Strange. Would’ve thought she’d want to try out her new tricks.

Ahaha of course she does. Ramming is the superior means of attack.

It drifts to VStar—you like them a lot and you’re pretty sure it has no harm on the environment, you have no comment on deaths, it’s nice to still have some money to make and be able to help the pokémon move indoors.

Lot of oof mixed into that answer.

She gets told that you trip a lot and maybe one or two of the “funniest” stories there. It’s funny since you’re laughing.

More oof.

“Kept some food warm for you,” the receptionist says. “It’s in the dining room if you want it.”

You blink. “But lunch is over?”

“Four people staying here, miss. It’s not hurting anyone.”

Nice to have a bit of random human kindness in a story that so often lacks it.

{Unit010_100000111 retains localized designation: Nocitlālin}

I love a nickname as a "localized designation."

“You mentioned a ‘100 unit’ decommissioning you. If a 001 is a beldum, and a 010 is a metang, then that means it was a metagross, right? You’re taking orders from one?”

And isn’t that terrifying. The galaxy’s top predator has taken an interest in you.

Hoo boy.

{Negation. Terrans possess flawed memory drives.}

“Not that flawed.”

{Negation.}

You sit down and lean back. She wants to do this the hard way, huh?

“Then why’d you evolve?”

{Insufficient for current assignment.}

“And who gave you that assignment?”

{UnitDesignate_Cuicatl_Ichtaca.}

Trap sprung. “Who was giving orders to the other beldum?”

This interrogation back and forth was excellent. I loled so much at Terrans possessing flawed memory drives. Try again, Noci.

A college man.

This term feels old-fashioned in a way that nicely dates the flashback section.

And you’ll just sit outside in public view. It’s just a quick date while you’re in town.

Really, what’s the worst that could happen

Uh, you could marry him and find out that he's an abusive asshole?


Flying 3.15: Conversion

Gen chapters continue to be intensely emotional reads. Your skill at depicting spiraling mental states really comes through in these. The image of Gen sitting clothed on her toilet in the dark is so poignant. She's so alone right now.

This chapter's a kind of dark mirror of a story of acceptance. Her family is willing to accept Gen only to the extent she denies who she is. Her mom will hug her now and stand up for her at the conversion therapy session, but it's all predicated on Gen's recognizing her "wrongness."

Gen's hope is what makes it hurt most. That they're not writing her off, that if she's just strong and disciplined enough she can excise this part of herself and be reborn as someone her family loves. All of their help hurts her--cutting her off from her pokemon, her books, her brother--but she's convinced herself it's necessary. What's particular hard is the extent to which Gen seems to have always sought a refuge in fantasy, but now she feels like she can't even trust her mind. Banishing Lyra, banishing Cuicatl. There's no round table if you banish all your knights.

Gen's story-line continues to be the most powerful and tightly written of this arc for me. Nice work.

Line-by-lines (sparse because I was pretty engrossed)

You sit on the floor of the shower for ages and stare blankly into the darkness. Then being naked feels wrong so you get out and find loose clothes to put on. All of it a chore in the dark. Worth it when you can sit down on the toilet fully dressed and stare into the void. Much better. Much less sexual.

Gen 💔

If the starmie could know, why wouldn’t Cuicatl? She would have also been in your head. Would have known. Or maybe… she wanted to take advantage of it.

The anti-psychic prejudice continues.

The light shifts to green. A lie? No.

Didn't follow this. I thought green meant not a lie.

“Your father bought the castform a sunny day TM. It’s made itself useful since.

Missing end quote.

You love him, sure, but Cuicatl’s pokémon—banished. She is banished.

The language of "banished" struck me powerfully here. Gen's trying so hard to treat her mind like something she has dominion over.

You want to tell him that you can. That you love him. That you want to talk about everything and hear how he’s doing but. If Mother doesn’t trust you to talk to him yet, you probably shouldn’t.

First her pokemon, now Levi . . . she's so isolated.

You haven’t worn them in months and they hurt more than usual, but that’s only further proof that you need it. This pain, hearing Levi’s voice but not being able to respond—you also need that. Even if you don’t know why.

💔

Boys, maybe? It’s ordinarily sinful to think too much about them. You used to be proud on how little you did. In hindsight, maybe you should have tried to think about them more.

Chuckled a bit here, despite everything.

You could always try now. Focus on what makes them hot. Like, their, um. Muscles? People like muscles, right? Not like you’ve worked with too many athletes. Bodybuilders always grossed you out since they look like they have some gross muscle cancer problem. Cuicatl’s are pretty. Small but visible, partially because she’s so small that there isn’t much fat masking them and—

You’re going to need more help than you’d realized.

Sense of ?comedic? timing is good here.

 

[WildBoots]

Responding to Flying 3.15: Conversion! No pull-quotes because I read it on my phone the other morning. Just going to leave you with some overall thoughts.

Which are mostly: aww, Gen. It's so wretched how clearly Mom thinks she's Helping™️ and how they're not even letting Gen be with her dang pokemon. Poor babies. This setup serves no one. Except, I guess her parents, who get to maintain power over her.

Ouch at that pun in the chapter title. :c y u hurt me with porygon.

Gen putting the bad shoes back on at the end reminds me of two things: 1) the wicked step-mother dancing herself to death in red-heated shoes and 2) Cuicatl punishing herself by denying herself food. (And also, wow, her messed up body image really stands out when we're hearing about her through Gen's POV.)

Boy, it sure it gonna be not a problem at all when she and Kekoa start interacting again. 🙃

Sorry a little brief this week!

 

[Persephone]

Hello,

Some long time readers may know that this fic is actually a reboot of a story named Guidance. The previous version was almost entirely centered around Pixie with only brief, horrible withdrawals from her presence. I eventually decided that Guidance had become too convoluted with its Aztec mythology, reality television, and curse arcs. I decided to simplify things by having four rotating narrators and discussions of psychic abilities, deep depression, trans identity, disability, conversion therapy, colonialism, and the apocalypse.

Oops.

I find myself again displeased with the way that the story is going. It has also hit the point where the quality of writing and themes tackled are out of synch with the fandom's actual target audience, limiting the reach of the story on big platforms. I have realized that if I want to Become Internet Famous I will need another reboot.

I am pleased to announce the development of the Pixie Sixthborn series, a collection of middle grade novels about a vulpix navigating the politics of a new school and a love triangle. I am doing my best to cut out boring human characters wherever possible to focus on the much more interesting pokemon, and especially the best pokemon of all time. Covers, plot synopses, and release dates are below.

Cover art by @Pen

Pixie Sixthborn has had it ruff. After her parents disappeared in a mysterious blizzard she has been left to bounce between homes and schools all over Alola. With only one school left willing to take her, Pixie faces her last chance -- shape up or get sent away from the islands she grew up on. While there she meets a teacher who can help her find her parents. Can she last long enough at The Last Chance Academy to return home? The other students, a girl obsessed with her mushroom collection and one who never learned that biting is wrong, won't make it easy for her. Releases April 31, 2021.

Cover art by @surskitty

New semester, new problems. Pixie has made a fragile network of friendships, but a botany-obsessed jock threatens to upend everything. How will she deal with a threat to her territory? And why doesn't he seem to care? Meanwhile, Professor Song is spending more time with the new student - who is maybe definitely a spy for the North Koreans. Will all of this upend a field trip to the island where her parents disappeared? And what will she discover in the telescopes on the mountain of thunder? Releases November 31, 2021.

 

[kintsugi]

I FOR ONE AM GREATLY EXCITED THAT YOU HAVE CUT OUT THOSE BORING EXTRA CHARACTERS WHO ARE ABLE TO DO THINGS LIKE INTERACT WITH NON-POKEMON NARRATORS AND IN GENERAL HAVE ABOUT 5% MORE AGENCY IN THE WORLD. THEY ARE UGLY AND BORING.

DEEPLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE THIRD BOOK (WHICH WILL OFC BE SPLIT INTO TWO BOOKS) THAT FEATURES THE EEVEE DYSTOPIC GOVERNMENT THAT HAS BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS AND MUST BE DESTROYED. SOME PEOPLE WILL SAY THINGS LIKE "THIS DOESN'T ENGAGE WELL WITH THE THEMES OF THE OTHER BOOKS" AND "WHY DOES PIXIE NEED A ROCKET LAUNCHER" BUT PERSONALLY THEY ARE STUPID FOR DARING TO QUESTION PIXIE.

 

[WildBoots]

Thank god. I didn’t want to hurt your feeling, but all those humans are so ... ugh, bipedal? Can’t wait to buy a couple volumes for the library! The kids will really like it.

 

[Pen]

I'm glad you've begun to think seriously about how to connect with a broader audience. Centering Pix and eliminating the useless humans is an excellent first step. However, I'm worried you haven't gone far enough. I didn't see any mention of a love triangle arc. I would highly recommend adding one, preferably one that swallows up all other plot points. It would be appropriate for it to conclude with Pix realizing that no one is worthy of her perfection.

Second, you should consider ditching TR. It's a very niche site that just isn't doing much for your Internet Fame. Wattpad is much better. On Wattpad you can gain Wattpad Star status and get your story published or adapted into film or television with Wattpad Books and Wattpad Studios. Wattpad definitely did not sponsor this post.

 

[Persephone]

I'm glad you've begun to think seriously about how to connect with a broader audience. Centering Pix and eliminating the useless humans is an excellent first step. However, I'm worried you haven't gone far enough. I didn't see any mention of a love triangle arc. I would highly recommend adding one, preferably one that swallows up all other plot points. It would be appropriate for it to conclude with Pix realizing that no one is worthy of her perfection.

Second, you should consider ditching TR. It's a very niche site that just isn't doing much for your Internet Fame. Wattpad is much better. On Wattpad you can gain Wattpad Star status and get your story published or adapted into film or television with Wattpad Books and Wattpad Studios. Wattpad definitely did not sponsor this post.

Um... I did promise a love triangle? Gosh, learn to reed.

 

[Negrek]

Exciting news! I'm glad that you've finally realized what's most important in your writing and decided to focus on what really matters. Already hype for Pixie's adventures--so excited to see where this series will take her!

Gorgeous covers you have there, too! Unironic props to Pen and surskitty for those, they're lovely and full of character.

 

[Persephone]

Fighting 3.16: Expert Opinion
Genesis

The guard leads you to a room lit by a pyroar and starmie. Mother and Father are sitting on a couch, staring at a large television mounted on the wall. Cuicatl’s on it. She’s in what looks like a Pokémon Center lounge. The chyron at the bottom reads “’They needed a home’ – ‘Butterfree Whisperer’ on her remarkable capture.”

What? You didn’t even think she liked butterfree? Sure, she seemed weirdly fond of her paras but those are different.

“I have long had my suspicions about her,” Father says. His low voices rumbles through the room. “But this seems akin to confirmation. I’d thought she was a witch, but I may have made a grave mistake and allowed my daughter to associate with a psychic.” The starmie’s light turns a deep shade of a pink. He grimaces. “That certainly complicates things.”

Complicates things? “Are you going to hurt her?” You regret the question as soon as you ask it. Makes you sound loyal to her.

“That depends,” Mother answers. “Did she hurt you first?”

“No! She was almost always nice. Not, um, too nice. But she wouldn’t hurt me.”

“If she had, would you know?”

Could she, what, wipe all your memories? No. She’d never shown anything like… your mind latches on to something else.

“I’ve only seen her talk to pokémon. Even that gives her migraines sometimes. I don’t think she could do anything like that.”

“Perhaps,” Father concedes. “You will still need to be examined. We’ll call in an expert as soon as we can. Make sure that nothing is dug in too deep. We will make sure that justice is served if they find something.”

If there is anything buried it means that Cuicatl lied to you and invaded your mind. A shiver runs through your body. She… wouldn’t. Maybe she’s a demon worshipper, but that doesn’t match your perception of her at all. You remember Lyra venting about how psychics were dangerous. She’d been furious and you were more concerned about making her not furious than actually listening to her arguments. Maybe if Cuicatl had told you about her powers off the bat you would’ve been scared, but since you only found out after you learned she was good for a pagan…

Father turns off the television and Cuicatl’s face disappears from the edges in.

*​

It only takes a day for Father to bring in his expert.

The man himself is unremarkable for someone who pries into minds to look for damage. He’s older. His hair is all gray but still there. He’s wearing slacks and a button up shirt. The buttons are off. You can’t imagine your parents are pleased with it. You would’ve been torn apart if you made that mistake in public.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Brinner.” He gestures at his pokémon, a hypno staring at you with empty eyes. “This is Andrew. He will be examining you today.”

“A pleasure to meet you.”

Mother nods in your peripheral vision. Got the greeting right.

“Uh, likewise.” He pulls out a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. A pen expands with a satisfying ‘click.’ “Before we begin, what do you know about the psychic she interacted with? Displayed abilities, partner pokémon, the type of damage you’re expecting.”

Mother flinches at the word damage. A small sign that she cares.

The question wasn’t really directed to you but you’re the only one who can answer it.

“She’s a telepath, I think. Translates things. She can understand people and pokémon and make them understand her. She can mask her accent if she wants.”

Dr. Brinner frowns. “Definitely a telepath of sorts. The accent trick suggests that she can alter either the stream of consciousness or sensory inputs. Probably the former. Anything else you observed? Other applications?”

You remember her curled up in bed near Brooklet Hill. “She made it so her pokémon could understand each other. Gave her a migraine for days.”

“Some limits, then.” He finished scribbling down notes. “Whether in technique or power I cannot say. Any other abilities? Sensing or changing emotions, seeing things before they happen, moving things with her mind, teleportation, barrier creation?”

You do your best to remember but can’t come up with anything. Maybe she’s a little stronger than her frame would suggest? Is that worth mentioning. You see Mother’s glower out of the corner of your eye. It would be a sin to lie to her, even on accident.

“She might be able to lift things she normally couldn’t. Not so much that anything ever seemed off. And I think I was still stronger than her unless she was holding back.”

“Alright. What pokémon did she have? If she was working with a psychic-type then she might be able to do more than she otherwise could.”

“A holy vulpix, tyrunt, and beldum.”

He blinks. “Holy vulpix?”

“The Alolan one,” Father answers.

“Hmm. Spoke with one once. I’d hardly call them holy.”

“Please stay on topic,” Mother chides.

“Fine, fine.” Dr. Brinner turns back to you. “I’ve heard rumors out of Japan of someone creating a telepathic bond with their ninetales. Quite a powerful one, too, if the stories are to be believed. There were unusual circumstances there since both the trainer and pokémon seem to be fallers. Might’ve been mutations involved as well. Hard to know what’s fact and what was made up to sell tabloids. Common problem in this profession.”

“I must ask you again to stay on topic, Doctor.”

“The point is that the vulpix giving her a power boost is possible but unlikely. Same for the beldum. Even metang are only passable telepaths. Metagross, uh, no one really knows. Not how they usually fuck people up—”

“Do not swear in front of my daughter.” Mother crosses her arms and glares. “She’s impressionable.”

Dr. Brinner exhales. He seems almost as annoyed with your parents as they seem with him. It’s weird. You’ve almost never seen anyone cross with your family. Sometimes you see Skull graffiti or newscasts covering some crude statement about your family, but you’d always figured that no one would dare disrespect them in person.

“She the butterfree whisperer? Fits the description of a translator-telepath and the cover didn’t really make sense to me.”

“Is it that obvious?” There are people who really don’t like psychics. Like Lyra. If they met it could be disastrous. No. There are four islands, none of them small. They probably won’t cross paths. Thanks be to Xerneas.

“Only if you know what you’re looking for. She said in the interview that she’s been blind since birth. Is that right?”

“She says that, yes. But most blind people aren’t born that way.”

At least you learn from your mistakes.

“I’m aware. Do you know if she has any relation to Unovan royalty?”

“Reshiram spoke to her and she’s from Unova. She didn’t know N or anything, but they’re probably related somehow.” Like your second or third or whatever cousins back in Galar that you go to visit on occasion.

Dr. Brinner gives you a slightly fearful look. “Reshiram has another hero, right? I’m not sure I want to poke into this if she’s the high priestess of a goddess.”

“There’s only one god,” Mother insists. “One surrounded by a plethora of demons.”

The doctor ignores her. You’ve never seen anyone do that. Not without consequences. He doesn’t seem to care.

“Reshiram left with someone else. They just talked when they met. I think.”

He relaxes. “Good, good. It seems like she is royalty, then. The Unovan royal line is old and there’s a lot of historical study of them. The translation ability is common. Some scholars think they were also tactile telekinetics since the royal blade was massive and the epics say they could move quickly even in plate armor. One proposed that they could influence minds but there’s no real evidence in my opinion. His theory rested on a few lines in a poorly preserved epic and the assumption that no one could rule a kingdom with only boosted strength, the ability to speak the language of every clan, and the backing of a powerful dragon. I have no idea how that dreck got out of peer review.”

He almost sounds like Cuicatl going on a rant about dinosaurs. Is he psychic himself? Is that a common psychic trait?

“The point is that she might have been able to disrupt more than surface thoughts but it’s unlikely she could make structural changes. Unless there are any other abilities you can think of…?”

“She could read surface thoughts. Like if I thought too loud or something was on the tip of my tongue. Or if I wanted her to get the message.”

“Hmm.” Dr. Brinner closes his eyes. “That’s consistent with the theory that the royals read and influence the Broca’s area. Tell me, could she answer you in your own mind?”

“Yes.”

Mother looks furious. You don’t know why. It was just a way to have private conversations.

“That’s not alarming in and of itself. Most telepaths can, even if their specialization isn’t in language. There’s some debate as to why that is. Two theories are popular but I think at least three more are worth investigating—"

Father clears his throat. “Is this going anywhere?”

“No. I suppose not.” Dr. Brinner turns back to you. “Any more questions before we begin?”

“No.” Mother says. “Go ahead.”

Oh. The question wasn’t directed at you.

“What about you, Miss Gage?”

Mother already gave her permission. In truth there are a lot of questions you have: What is about to happen? Will it hurt? How long will it take? Should I try to clear my mind or think about her or something else? But Mother gave her answer. She might tolerate this man challenging her, even if you aren’t sure why. You won’t defy her. Can’t. Not if you want to get better.

“I don’t have any questions, no.” It’s a sin to lie. It’s also a sin to disobey your parents. What if your parents order you to lie? The temple never prepared you for that.

“Alright. I’ll need you to look into Andrew’s pendulum, miss.”

Your eyes move towards the strange creature. It’s unsettling on a gut level. Maybe because it looks vaguely human but it’s also definitely not. The pendulum is much easier to look at than the thing’s face. As you watch it swings once, twice, three times—

—the room is different. You’re sitting down at the table for one thing. The Hypno is nowhere to be seen and the doctor is seated, talking to your parents in hushed tones. Is that it? Is it over? You didn’t even notice it beginning.

Father glances at you. He gives you a curt nod and turns back to the doctor. “Your full report, please.”

“She’s definitely been around a psychic. A telepath. There were a lot of signs of psychic activity near the Broca’s area—” Mother tilts her head. “The part where language happens. The activity was almost entirely consistent with the description proffered by Miss Gage.”

“Almost?” Mother asks. “That’s more than a little ominous.”

“It’s nothing serious. No apparent alterations to memory, emotions, or motor skills. Curiously, there was a little bit of activity near the occipital lobe. My working theory is that it’s related to the psychic’s blindness in some way. It doesn’t appear that anything was actually altered there. The activity was faint enough that it might not have been intentional.” He shrugs. “Seems like everything is in order.”

“Sexuality?” Mother asks. “Any changes there?”

“No. Were you, uh, expecting anything?”

Cuicatl didn’t do anything untoward. This is all… you. Mixed feelings on that. You were right and your parents were wrong and you aren’t a horrible judge of character. But it’s harder to demonize and forget her now. And all of your shortcomings? Those are all on you.

“Would a psychic with those abilities exist?” Father asks.

“Making people fall in and out of love? It’s a possible application of a few different variants of telepathy, but it is very much illegal under both internal codes and commonwealth and federal law. I doubt anyone specializes in that sort of thing as it almost certainly would have been discovered by now. Maybe a single psychic could hide it from others and the law, but not the bloodlines. Especially not one as well documented as the Unovan royal family.”

Mother leans back and crosses her arms. It’s unladylike. She must be deep in thought if she doesn’t notice.

“I meant something more along the lines of altering sexual preferences,” Father says.

“It would only be possible via full reconstructive surgery, and unless that was done by a god—” He ignores Mother’s glare. “—Andrew would have noticed it. Even then something like that would have demonstrable side effects. Unless there has been a recent deterioration in your mental and physical health?” You shake your head. Your body is actually healthier than ever after hiking for so long. “Then that almost certainly was not the case.”

Mother noticeably frowns. “Something like that would be illegal?”

“Very.”

“Everywhere?”

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Even with parental consent?”

Dr. Brinner looks towards you and holds eye contact. You squirm under it but keep the gaze. It’s polite. And it keeps you from thinking about the question you must have misheard. “Ma’am, I am a mandatory reporter for child abuse.”

Wrong answer.

Mother bursts to her feet and throws a finger out towards the doctor. “You DARE come into my own home and accuse me of—of abusing my daughter?” She trails off into something more akin to a growl than anything.

“I think you should leave,” Father adds, more quietly but no less offended. “After you apologize.”

“Any alteration to a child’s sexuality would be sexual assault via preternatural ability under Alolan law. Legally speaking, child abuse.”

“I’m starting to wonder what they’re teaching at the Pokémon Studies department in Hau’oli. Would my money be better spent elsewhere?”

The doctor begins to study the table. “It used to be standard practice,” he says with his normal tone of careless untouchability wavering. “They abandoned it. Some patients died, some killed themselves, the remainder usually lived with debilitating migraines and esoteric mental health problems. It fell out of favor because no one with a conscience would agree to perform reconstructive surgery on anyone who still had a functioning mind. The people who remained willing, those without a conscience, were the ones who never should have been trusted to do the job. Don’t. Please.”

“You should leave my home.”

“I—yes.” He shakily gets to his feet. {If anything goes very wrong, scream out for Lila Takeda in your mind. She lives on the island and she’s strong enough that she’ll hear it.}

{I will.}

You aren’t sure if you will. Because. They wouldn’t actually? Right? They were… seeing if Cuicatl could. Or if Team Skull or someone could. If you’d been made this way by someone else. It’s the only explanation that makes sense. Because they’re good people. They wouldn’t do that. And if they did, it would be… good. It would make you better. Your gut still churns at the thought.

Once he’s out of the room Mother stands as well. “What a dreadful man,” she mutters.

Eventually you’re left alone with Father and two guards. Father’s already gone back to scowling at his tablet, scrolling through some report or another. “Nolan, take her back to her room, will you?”

“Yes, sir.”

And that’s the end of that.

*​

You spend four meals with only your thoughts for company. She didn’t do anything to you. It’s what you expected. There are layers of The Cocoon. Allana will end up somewhere in the middle for the sins of either perversion or wrath. Maybe both. Cuicatl is a noble pagan who gets to live at the edge. No torture beyond being able to look out into the light of Xerneas and know what she forfeited by rejecting it.

And you really need to stop thinking about her, despite everything. Whether she’s sinned or not is irrelevant if she’s part of your sin.

You still have questions. Is someone properly repentant if their brain was altered into being repentant? If they ask you to do it you have to say yes, right? Otherwise, you’re disobeying your parents. How you feel doesn’t matter, then, because you’ll say yes regardless. You shouldn’t think too much about a thing that doesn’t matter.

Mother finally visits you after about a day and a half spent alone. She has a vikavolt behind her instead of her usual starmie. Strange.

She walks over to your bed and stops in front of you. She doesn’t sit. Just stares down. Her face is cast in shadow since the pokémon is behind her. It takes all of your strength just to maintain eye contact.

“I apologize. We did not properly vet our expert. Further investigation has revealed him to be a thief and a drug user, information that will be sent on to the police and his employer. And he had terrible things to say about our savior. Thank Xerneas that such a man is no longer teaching the youth.”

“Good.” If that was easy to find, why didn’t she find it before letting him poke around in your mind. If it was hard, did she do it just because he disrespected her? Or because he threatened to tell lies and then backed down? Is it a sin to question her in your thoughts? Maybe not normally, but now you don’t know moral right from wrong so you probably shouldn’t.

She finally turns to sit down next to you. It’s only awkward for a moment before she pulls you into a hug. “You know I would never hurt you. I just wished there was an option for easing your suffering. That’s all, whatever that man said. We can still do things the normal way. Will do things the normal way. We just needed to take a break for a little bit to let you settle down from the bad influence.”

She sounds sincere. You relax and lean into the hug. Mother wouldn’t hurt you. Everything was a misunderstanding.

You ignore the unease that still lurks just beneath the surface.

*​

Stefan takes you down the halls. Towards your pokémon? Or more therapy? You sigh in relief once you pass the conference room and keep going towards the place your team is. Good. You’d been afraid it would be a long time before you could see them again given the way Mother reacted before.

You’re surprised to see Father in the room, seated in an elegant chair you don’t remember being there before. Count. Err. Cloudy. Just Cloudy hovers nearby. There is a pool laid out but you can’t see Bubbles in it. Ferny isn’t here and his distinctive smell is weaker than usual. Is he in his ball?

Father closes his book and looks up. “Thank you, Stefan.” You see Stefan bow in your peripheral vision before leaving the room. Father stands up when the door closes. “Your mother is still looking into the naming scheme for your pokémon to figure out if there’s anything sinful in it. She is insistent that you not meet your leafeon and poliwag until her investigation’s over, but,” he gestures towards Cloudy with his head, “the castform is useful and low maintenance. You may keep it with you on the condition that you do not ruin your clothes by hugging the thing.” He grimaces. “Your mother insisted on that one. I think it should be fine if you’re wearing a swimsuit or raincoat.”

“Thank you.” You can have a pokémon back. Have someone with you. That will make everything more bearable.

“Hmph. I think you should at least have the leafeon, too. Yes, they have a smell that gets on your clothes. So what? That’s how it works for trainers. Sometimes you get pyroar fur over everything and that’s just a fact of life.

Mother is a trainer as well. Outside the starmie you’ve seen her with all of her pokémon live in the greenhouse or gardens. You’ve never seen her cuddle them. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you hugging yours. Or pyroar shedding.

In fairness, pyroar shed a lot and then sometimes accidentally light that fur on fire. Father’s lost at least one chair that way.

Father smiles. “We should talk more about trainer life sometime. I never took you for one, but you went and won two trials and lived on the trail for three months.” He lays a hand on your shoulder and you start beaming because it’s been ages since he praised you. Before the rooftop, at least.

Eventually it ends. The hand pulls away and you take a step back to establish proper distance. And you try to stop grinning like an idiot because that’s unprofessional. “I don’t have time to talk about it now,” he admits. “Hard to keep the company going in the middle of this mess. Grand Hano bookings were solid at first since people thought it was a safe place to stay. Then the government let people leave and the tourists left. Not many replacing them, and those that are coming are mostly academics who prefer the cheaper ones in town. And the less said about the spider farms the better.”

“If you’re busy—”

“No, no. I haven’t even come around to what I wanted to talk about.” He clears his throat and glances at the empty pool. “I recently came into possession of a pokémon I thought you might like. They’re affectionate and can help against psychic assault if that witch tries to hurt you.” She isn’t a witch. Right before you correct him you realize that he was saying something and meaning something else. A word with a b, probably. But you’re impressionable and he can’t swear in front of you without risking Mother’s efforts. He sends out a psyduck. “This is Oliver. He’s your new pokémon.”

A psyduck. A male psyduck. This is a test. Has to be. Father is very involved with the Kappa Order, a civic organization with a lot of people who try to make Alola better. Their mascot is golduck. Male golduck. A pokémon that shits everywhere, tears things up, attacks people, and then demands more, more, more. Lyra almost ended up with one and she was apoplectic, spread out on your bed saying uncouth things at the roof.

She was definitely always bad for you now that you think about it.

Father must see your expression and know what you’re thinking. “He was raised by humans. He’s not like… that. Wild psyduck are a whole lot of fun, but you have to have a very particular personality to like them.”

That’s better, maybe. If he says so. Oliver doesn’t seem awful. Mostly he’s just stared up at you without blinking. You bend down and extend a hand like you’ve seen Cuicatl do with her pokémon. The psyduck cautiously approaches, leans forward and… clamps his bill around your hand. Softly. You can barely feel it. But it’s so, so weird. And endearing, kind of. After a few seconds he lets go and starts waddling off towards the pool.

Father pulls something wrapped in plastic out of his pocket and hands it to you. It seems to be a… pickle? What? “They love these things,” Father says. “Unwrap and offer it to him.”

Oliver glances at you when you start peeling back the plastic and then starts waddling a fast as his legs can take him when he realizes what it is. He snatches it from your outstretched hand and stuffs it into his bill. It’s all very uncoordinated. You find yourself giggling.

“How did you get him?” You should know your pokémon’s history, after all.

His expression darkens and the room temperature seems to pitch down ten degrees. “A fellow alum. He was supposed to be a girl’s starter, but she… didn’t make it to her journey.”

You gasp. “That’s horrible.” What must Oliver think about that? Does he know? Did he see it? Or does he think he just got shipped off to someone else for no reason?

“There’s a lot of unpleasantness in the Commonwealth these days. Thought I would help out where I could.”

“Very kind of you.” And smart. Getting you a pokémon and helping rehome one that suddenly doesn’t have a trainer.

He hands you the pokéball. It’s one of the ones with a ‘U’ on it. Ultimate ball or something.

“I’ll have Stefan take you and your pokémon up. I need to get back to work.”

“Wait.”

He turns towards you, a hint of annoyance in the curl of his lips.

“If Cloudy is with me, who will be giving sun to Fern?”

“Your mother bought some castform for her gardens. I expect one of those will take over.”

“Oh. Good.” You’re a little embarrassed to have asked a question with such a simple answer.

He walks ahead without further comment.

*​

“This is your new room for now, Oliver.”

The psyduck stumbles forward. He was a little ungainly before but now he’s on the verge of tottering over with every step. Thankfully he’s… not slim. He would be cushioned if he fell. You’ll need to cut back his diet, probably. Maybe not immediately. It would be a bad first impression.

Not that it matters. You’ll feed him whatever food you’re provided in the amount you’re provided. You can’t exactly do your own shopping right now. Wouldn’t even know what to feed him if you could.

With actual light in your room you notice a thin layer of dust on some of the furniture. Cleanings must have stopped once you left and you came back so abruptly that one couldn’t be scheduled. Come to think of it you haven’t heard vacuuming since you got here. Maybe the cleaning staff isn’t coming in because of the darkness.

Oliver stumbles towards your closet and you set to work. Cloudy can simply float up to your bed if he wants to cuddle (although you’ll need to set some new rules on that to avoid unladylike behavior). Oliver will need a staircase. Thankfully you can’t read your books right now so you take some and start to make it. The books seem lighter than they did before. Have you gotten stronger?

You hear Oliver’s steps start to approach you again right as you finish. He stumbles out of the closet with a plush stufful held tight to his chest. You remember that one. You’d wanted a real stufful as a pet that year but Mother told you that it would break your ribs. She got you a really, really soft plush and some jewelry instead.

Kind of weird to think that you’ve actually been threatened by baby bears (and their mother) now. That experience almost doesn’t feel real looking back at it.

You kneel down to get closer to Oliver. “That’s a very cute friend you have there.” He steps back and pulls it closer as if afraid you’ll take it. Then he turns around and darts back into the closet, stufful in hand. You glance at Cloudy and beg for help with your eyes. He just spins around in midair. You have no idea what that means.

It’s probably a good idea to make sure he isn’t shredding your clothes in there. He’s hidden when you walk in. Your clothes seem to be in good condition, at least. You’ve missed having a proper wardrobe so much. Just seeing it almost brings you to tears. Psyduck forgotten, you absently stroke your favorite silk dress. Then something moves nearby so you have to step back and check on that.

You have a basket of old plushes tucked into the back corner of your closet. Mother calls them childish, but she let you keep them as long as they were well-hidden enough that she never saw any. The basket is in disarray. Some have spilled out and the usual order you keep them in, well arranged and looking out at you, is gone. You see the pile itself move and settle as if breathing. Oliver’s somewhere in the basket, surrounded by soft toys. Probably sees it as a bed.

All the work you put into that staircase and he found a bed of his own.

Not that you can blame him. If you had a pile of plushes so big you could use it as a bed you would definitely sleep in it. Maybe. Would it be good for your back? Waking up with a sore back is something you’ll never miss about the trail.

You turn away and find a raincoat. If Oliver won’t cuddle, that’s fine. You owe Cloudy a lot of hugs, anyway.

But Cloudy seems a lot more focused on something outside the window. You go to his side to look. There are flecks of white hitting the window before slipping off or melting. Snow? “Oh my. Is that. Are you doing this?” Cloudy shakes his head from side to side. Aw. He’s learning human behavior. Just the best widdle castform. You turn back to the snow. Natural snow. In Alola. Too late for the Solstice, but still its own miracle.

You wonder if Father will let you out to make snow angels.

 

[Pen]

This chapter stomped all over my heart. Pixie. Ugh. I want so much for her to have this but I know you and I know there's no way this is ending well. And the parallel between this and Gen's arc is impossible to ignore. Parents and children, conditional versus unconditional love is such a theme in this story. And Pix is in this place where she wants unconditional love, but refused to believe Skysong would give it to her, and has made their relationship increasingly transactional. In learning how to "handle" Pix, Cuicatl has increasingly chosen the route of bloodsicle bribery over connection, and while it's hard to lay the blame for that entirely on her--Pix is a massive asshole and makes life easy never--Cuicatl's actions really haven't done much to rebut Kalani's view that relationships between humans and vulpix are transactional. Cuicatl's final comment in the chapter felt especially reprehensible to me. And Kukui's assumption that of course Pix would want to go back to her trainer also raises all the issues with pokemon autonomy in this world.

Of course, I doubt Kalani is good news. She wants kits because Selene's ninetales has kits--I can't imagine that realization will be pretty for Pix, with all her hangups about Firemane. You do a great job emphasizing how superficial the connection between Pix and Kalani is here. Kalani is so pretty, and Pix is better than a stupid half-rock. But superficial as it might be, it really means something for Pix to be blanketed and groomed and protected by a ninetales, one of her own kind. I mean, this kid's dream, beneath all the narcissism and whining, is basically for her mom to hug her and not let go, and it hurrrrts, Persephone, it hurts.

(Quick side-note on pokeballs--they're such a Pandora's Box. The glacier ball idea is cool in theory but raises all these questions for me. Like does it create some sort of virtual reality? Is it a psychic thing? The tech to create that seems a lot more advanced than the other tech. And if normal pokeballs blank out consciousness, but special ones don't, beeeg ethical issues in the cheap variety being a thing at all. Has Cuicatl ever asked Pix what it's like in there? Pokeball stuff is just so fraught.)

But yeah, amazing work with this one. I wanted to react to it with 💔 but that's not a thing so I guess ❤️ will have to suffice.

She holds her tails up delicately behind her to ensure they do not touch the sand.

Details like this made me picture the moment so well, and Pix's awe is there in every word.

The world shatters. All of your jumbled thoughts snap back to clarity as everything fragments and collapses or violently explodes around you. Then it all fades just as suddenly and you’re left sprawled out in the sand. Shards of your pokéball are scattered around you. The ninetales is hunched over you, tails spread wide in an aggressive stance. Skysong is laid out on the ground and groaning softly. Eyerock hovers low nearby. Half its body is coated in a thick layer of ice. Good.

Yeah, I gotta say I'm with Pix on this one. Skysong has ended way too many arguments with the recall button. What a way to bring home Kalani's power, though.

Why is she still trying to fight a guardian of the moon? You knew she was stupid, but this takes things to a new level. You’re certainly not going to fight one.

Pix reads here like someone who's sure the police are always on your side.

She doesn’t even look that hurt. You got your feet and side scorched for her a few days ago. She can take a tackle or scratch or whatever the ninetales did. Although humans are frail and noseblind. She might not be able to get help on her own. But she does deserve this.

I would be more inclined to agree with Pix here if it weren't for the fact she thinks Cuicatl deserves this for making her sleep with Bloodsong.

Definitely faking things. You can’t even smell that much blood.

Oof.

Before you can properly look around she pulls you in with a foreleg and presses you into her side. Her tails come around to blanket you.

It feels so good. So familiar. You didn’t know how much you missed it until now. All of the good memories rising up at once. It’s been years, but you’re finally getting what you deserve.

The ninetales brings her head over to yours and starts licking your fur. There’s not too much that needs to be done since you were just brushed. She’s still very thorough, making sure that every part of your fur is properly cared for and that you are marked as hers.

“Who are you?” you finally ask.

Oh boy, this makes my heart hurt. Pix has been wanting and needing this kind of contact so much that she'll bask in it from a stranger.

Maybe mothers just don’t know their children very well.

Oof. This is such a Broken Things theme.

The ‘clack’ of claws

Not sure about '' for clack? I'd go with either no special markings or italics to denote it as a sound.

Stupid rock. Heard I wanted a kit. Decided he could give me one. He cannot. I do not want my child to be ugly.”

“Smart.”

She huffs and cold air gently flows past your ear. “Yes. You’re better than a half-rock.”

It feels good to hear a nientales praise you. Even if it’s faint praise.

Lol, are all vulpix/ninetales like this?

She purrs. It goes through your entire body and it’s been so, so long.

💔

The big pokémon says it back in human tongue. Something like the human tongue, anyway. It’s all subtly wrong, different sounds emphasized or almost silent. It sounds like music, one of the few sometimes-decent things about humans. Its voice is almost as pretty as Kalani’s.

Is this the braviary? Nice way to have Kukui about to communicate with his pokemon.

The human moves on without waiting for the song. He can recognize the simplest of ninetales sounds. This makes him very smart for a human. “Strange. Just got back from the Center down the way. They’d found this girl laid out on the beach with a set of long cuts on her side. Shredded her clothing and got through to the skin. She was cold, too. Colder than you would’ve expected from the time she’d spent out and the clothing she was wearing.” He pauses. “Wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“No.” The man sighs. Kalani presses on. “Humans get hurt all the time.”

The man sits down when the song ends, his weight settling into hard furniture that creaks along the wooden floor. “She said something snuck up on her. Took her vulpix and froze her metang near solid. Must have been a powerful, stealthy ice-type to do that. Maybe even quieter and stronger than you. What do you think about it? Is there any ice-type better than you around?”

Kalani hisses. It has a meaning every fox should instinctively know: go away or prepare to fight. The man does neither.

The dialogue and vibe between Kalani and Kukui is great. I really get a sense of their dynamic at once.

“Humans can’t give a vulpix a home. You don’t know how.”

The man’s expression changes as the strange pokémon sings. He averts his gaze. Submission.

Or guilt.

As if a ninetales would ever be untrustworthy.

A ninetales would never.

“Bribery.”

“Figured that one out a while ago.” She gently flips you onto your back and raises you up to the top of her chest. A little higher than usual. “I bought some bloodsicles for you, by the way.”

Your ears perk up. That is one thing that Skysong has and Kalani doesn’t. It may be the only thing, but it is a big one.

“Heh. Seems you’ve got the basics.”

So Kukui and Kalani are in agreement that human-ninetales relationships are transactional.

“The scratches still feel cold. Nurse thought there might be a curse woven into it. If it hasn’t ended in a few days I’m supposed to call someone in Hau’oli.”

Oh wow. Love the idea that the ninetales can integrate curses in their attacks.

She said that she still feels cold… that’s a small curse. Make her always cold so she understands what it’s like for you to be always hot. Barely even counts as a curse at all. Unless it lasts. Then always being the wrong temperature is terrible.

She really shouldn’t have pissed off a ninetales. What did she think was going to happen?

I like Pix's back and forth here on whether she should be upset about this.

The taste of rich metal. A feeling of warmth in your gut that’s like being snuggled from the inside. The feeling of dominance over your prey. This blood is cold and you didn’t have to kill anything for it, but it still reminds you of love and victory.

💔

Skysong is a worse cuddler than Kalani. She’s wrapped around you but can’t fully surround you in her tails. She can’t keep altering the temperature so you’re always comfortable. You can’t feel protected by her because you’re the one protecting her.

This destroys me. Pix does feel so young at times. And I feel like a part of her doesn't even try to grow up, because subconsciously she'd always holding out hope that Avalanche will take her back and care for her.

While it's a fallacy to think people can't mutually protect and care for each other, from the beginning Pix was given to Cuicatl as a guide with a responsibility. I feel like this frustration has been building in her for some time.

Humans can’t give vulpix a home.

No. You think she was wrong. Humans can try to give you a home. They might succeed. A ninetales could do it better.

The flat "No" to something a ninetales said felt a little jarring, given how readily Pix accepts everything else. Maybe, "Is that right? Humans can try to give you a home. They might succeed. But a ninetales could do it better."

Alice. Again with Alice. The sister that she told you about. That she’ll choose over you.

Classic Pix projection, since Pix is about to choose someone who's not even family over Cuicatl.

“I want you.”

You start purring in anticipation and joy. You’re wanted. Wanted by someone who matters.

“Firstborn of Kalani. That is your new name.”

“You’re my mother now?” You think so. You hope so. A part of you is terrified you heard that wrong.

“Yes. You are my firstborn. I will never leave you.”

Yay, Pix has her happy ending and everything is fine. Goddamit.

“Openliver. He doesn’t wear falsefur over his chest. Dares enemies to attack his organs. He survives anyway.” There’s something like respect in her words.

Amazing. I love this so much.

Kalani growls. “Has she been good to you? What does she do? Get in the way of attacks? Hunt for you? Keep you cold on hot days? She can’t understand you. Humans are useful tools. They can never be family. Not even friends.”

“She can speak to me. Mind stuff. And she listens to my stories…”

Because they’re useful to her. She didn’t ask about them much before she needed them to keep Eggbreath.

I mean . . . not totally wrong?

“Green-eyes fought the sun himself to save her children. I will do the same if I must.”

The sun demanded to eat one of Green-eyes’ children. She refused. Green-eyes fought the sun for a full day before the sun had to sleep for the night. They fought again for eight more days before she stood victorious and drove the sun away. That is why it is so easy to keep The Mountain cold – the sun does not wish to go there.

She only had two left when the sun came. If he had just come a little earlier than she would have let him eat one. The love and power of a ninetales mother is unmatched, but only once their two have been chosen. Kalani comparing herself to Green-eyes means that you have been chosen. Another happy feeling fills your tails.

Really nice incorporation of this myth. One of my favorite things about how you write Pix is the way she logics things out in a way that's consistent with her culture and upbringing.

“She adopted me.”

“I heard.” Skysong doesn’t sound happy about that. At all. {Are you sure about this? You’ve only known her for two nights? What if she isn’t what you think?}

{She adopted me.}

That repetition. There's nothing more Pix thinks needs to be said. I'm wanted.

I have an offer in the meantime.} Is she using you? Kalani said she would. That she always was. {I’ll give you two chances to prove how strong you are to Kalani. Once she sees that she’ll definitely never want to leave you.}

She wants you to fight for her. Again. You want to say no. Kalani will protect you. Skysong makes you protect her. Skysong’s words make you pause as a shiver of doubt runs through you. What if even Kalani will leave you?

Low blow, Cuicatl. Way to prove every cynical word Kalani said about humans right. Super nasty to take advantage of Pix's abandonment issues to get in, what, one last badge?

 

[WildBoots]

Finally here for 3.16! Sorry am very slow--brain was juggling a lot this week.

Spoiler: Line Reactions

Everything else has been going wrong. The stupid rock you scared away came back bigger. And it talks!

Ha!!
This is interesting, though. From Cuicatl's perspective, it's just normal for Noci to be able to talk in her head. Seems like it's definitely gotten stronger.

She’s even promised to carry you away when she’s done so you don’t get sand in everything. You hate licking out sand. It’s coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Did you just--
Trollmaster.

She is not as pretty as the ninetales in front of you.

In which we learn that, thank God, Pix is also gay.
No, but really. It's very clear that Kalani is all the things that Pixie hopes to become. Or, at least, she appears to be!

This ninetales doesn’t smell like Avalanche. It isn’t her.

😮

Shards of your pokéball are scattered around you.

Oh shit.

Eyerock hovers low nearby. Half its body is coated in a thick layer of ice.

Ooh she stronk--moving past a couple different resistances there.

Why is she still trying to fight a guardian of the moon?

Her head finally settles into the sand. {Fine. Be safe.}

Oh! I didn't quite expect that somehow.

Maybe mothers just don’t know their children very well.

👀 That is such a BT mood.

I do not want my child to be ugly.”

Maybe also a BT mood, lol. Priorities.

The big pokémon says it back in human tongue.

??!? It can talk???

Maybe even quieter and stronger than you. What do you think about it? Is there any ice-type better than you around?”

Kalani hisses.

HAHAHAHA he knows.

He makes it sound like ninetales are irrational and impossible to understand. Even though he can talk to them through his weird companion. You would definitely not stay here for him. Skysong is much better.

Hmm, so there is something on the other side of the scale. For a human, she does like her.

Since when does frost bite people? Is he saying that Kalani bit her?

Omg, incredible.

“Of course. I have one I can loan out in the meantime. It used to be Selene’s, actually, but she outgrew it…” Selene. Firemane. Why does this man know Firemane?

🙃 Great question. Interesting that she does know humans' names for each other--she just refuses.

What will it do when you bring the light back? Hiding will be much harder for something so big and ugly.

HA. Good point, actually. Noci has definitely been sneaking around doing ... something.

This blood is cold and you didn’t have to kill anything for it, but it still reminds you of love and victory.

Love this xeno moment.

A feeling of warmth in your gut that’s like being snuggled from the inside.

This feels non-Pixie though. Wouldn't she be hunting vanilite and other cold things in the wild?

“Firstborn of Kalani. That is your new name.”

🙃 Nice and ominous.

You should really name him at some point. Or ask Kalani. “Does he have a name?”

Cackle. Another nice bit of xeno and a subversion of the trainer-down power tropes.

“Openliver. He doesn’t wear falsefur over his chest.

OMFG is this Kukui? He's so serious!

The sun demanded to eat one of Green-eyes’ children. She refused. Green-eyes fought the sun for a full day before the sun had to sleep for the night. They fought again for eight more days before she stood victorious and drove the sun away. That is why it is so easy to keep The Mountain cold – the sun does not wish to go there.

She only had two left when the sun came. If he had just come a little earlier than she would have let him eat one. The love and power of a ninetales mother is unmatched, but only once their two have been chosen. Kalani comparing herself to Green-eyes means that you have been chosen. Another happy feeling fills your tails.

Excellent myth, excellently applied.

I feel like you'd mentioned before that Kukui was going to show up, but I totally forgot and was surprised to see him. Kind of a shame to see him minus the pidgin--my impression of him is dad joke on two legs, so I did not at all realize that's who he might be until Kalani named him. He's also one of the characters I usually think of as native Alolan, so it'll be interesting to see how he presents from the perspective of someone like Kekoa (who's totally AWOL!). Not well, I assume, if he's pals with Selene, Stealer of Thrones.

Kalani is so spooky how she can just ghost in the door. Reminds me of lots of mystical seductress tropes--the vampire queen, the sucubus. She's come to claim a body and nobody's gonna stop her.

I wonder what her expectations for Pixie will be and what kinds of pressures that will entail. 👀

 

[Persephone]

Fighting 3.17: Thunderclouds
Cuicatl

3 February, 2022​

When Alice took you flying, she wrapped you in her arms and jolted up. You can remember her meaty breath bearing down on you while jolts wracked your body with every wingbeat. Her arms held you tight to her chest so that you could feel every breath and heartbeat. It was reassuring in its own way. Being held by something much bigger and stronger than you.

Like you would have wanted from your mother.

Flying on Noci is almost the opposite. She moves silently with perfect efficiency. There are no wasted movements. There are hardly any movements at all. Not even a heart beating or lungs expanding underneath you. She’s small enough that you can only barely fit on her back. She can hold you down with telekinesis but even that’s impersonal, just a force coming from everywhere and nowhere. Her body heat and the occasional psychic pulse are the only reminders that she’s alive and not just a car or a plane ferrying you somewhere.

{Light signatures detected. Initiate ramming?}

Good. Looks like she’s found the inkay. Not like much else is making light these days.

“Get closer. Don’t actually get in the water, please.”

Your breath is torn from your lungs as she divebombs the inkay troupe. For a weightless moment you wonder if she’s going to ram into the water in spite of your directions. Then she levels off abruptly and comes to a complete stop. You take a moment to catch your breath. As you wait psychic waves start sounding off from all around you. The inkay are a curious lot.

“Hi.” You make sure to channel some of your gift into your voice. “You probably know why I’m here.”

You’re hardly the first trainer, VStar or otherwise, to try to catch a bunch of inkay this winter. They’re one of the only ways to get light, after all.

The questions start coming. At first it’s just one bold inkay asking why your hair is a plant. Then more and more until you can’t field them all. You do your best to respond to as many as you can. It isn’t actually grass. Some humans can do things with their minds. No, you don’t make lights. This is Nocitlālin. She’s a metang. She can also do things with her mind. No, she doesn’t make lights either.

“Where are your siblings?”

You… you ignore that one. Thankfully another asks why Noci is so shiny and the other inkay doesn’t repeat the question.

It’s a careful game. You lead them on but never actually promise they’d travel with you. “Come see the human world,” but not “come and see the human world with me.”

Maybe you’d like an inkay. Malamar are a little terrifying, but you’re pretty sure you could handle it. If everything was going well you would happily take one in and guide it around Alola.

Things are not going well. Pixie is on the brink of leaving for a violent thief she’s known for three days. But you still have a foot in the door. Two more chances to let her realize that she has no idea what she’s getting into. Taking in a new pokémon now would signal that she’s already been forgotten and replaced. That would kill any chance you have of keeping her.

You would like an inkay, yes, but you want your cuddly ball of fluff and personality more. Even if she’s a pain sometimes at least she always keeps things interesting. And she’s your first real friend since Anahuac. Your starter. A gift from someone who owed you nothing.

Things aren’t beyond repair.

They can’t be.

Not again.

*​

You dictate out a short myth before starting trial prep. You’re pretty sure some psychic has transcribed it at some point but every book has filler. This is yours.

Reuniclus can see the future and past both. When they split in two one is born in the future, the other in the past. Right solosis tend to be solemn guardians of those who could have great destinies. They see tragedy on all sides and a narrow lane of glory in the middle. Left solosis are more cheerful and content. They can live in the memories of their ancestors and find comfort in happy moments long past. All tragedies have already ended. They can choose to look at something else in any case. Left solosis seek out people who carry legacies. Captive reuniclus use their final breath to give their left side to their trainer and send their right out into the world.

Renfield was a left solosis. It’s why carrying her memories is so easy for him. And now he’s been taken away from his home and his friends. If you fail, if Pixie leaves and Noci runs off again and you fail trial after trial then…

You’ll never see him again. Any of them. You won’t be able to buy your mother’s team back. Or pay for Coco’s food and insurance. You’ll be alone. Again.

To you ‘alone’ will always be Gate 41 at Montezuma International Airport. Sitting with no friends, no family, and no pokémon. You arrived well before the flight because you had nothing left to do outside the airport. You sat down at the gate and it was quiet. Peaceful. Then more and more families showed up. Decorated soldiers on leave or businessmen celebrating success and taking their families on vacation to Alola. They fought, mostly. Seemingly about everything. Kids begging parents to visit the candy store down the hall, parents bickering quietly about when boarding will start. Occasional yelling in the distance about the need to hurry up before a flight left. Sometimes they didn’t fight. Just talked about school, work, politics (American politics, mostly; no risk of sounding treasonous). Two kids were arguing about dinosaurs and you wanted to correct them because they were both wrong but couldn’t. You weren’t in their life. You weren’t in anyone’s life. You could only sit alone and listen as the world moved on without you.

“You grew up with a psychic-type, then.” You jolt up. Lyra is in the room. When did that happen? You’re not used to being snuck up on in the dark.

“How long have you been here?”

“Walked in mid recording. Tried to be quiet so it wouldn’t show up on tape.” Oh. You must have been more distracted than you’d thought. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yeah, I grew up with a reuniclus.”

She shifts on her bed. “And you were… okay with that? They’re powerful telepaths. They could mess up your mind easily.”

Yeah. He probably could. He wouldn’t, though. Because if he was willing to do that he would’ve made you less sad while he was at it. But that’s more than you want to tell her. Especially with everything else going on. “He was my mother’s,” you say. “And he saw me as his sister. He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” Lyra asserts. “They could do something and make you forget.”

He wouldn’t. None of the psychics you’ve met would. “They aren’t all like that, you know?” This was fine when it was just you being insulted. But now she’s being mean to your brother.

“I get that you like him—"

She’s spared from digging herself deeper by someone, Kekoa probably, banging on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Lyra calls out. She opens the door and Kekoa walks in. You know it's him because of the heavy footfalls, surprising for someone as skinny as him, and his heavy breathing.

You pull a ball out of your belt and hold it out to him. You do your best to maintain your glare in Lyra’s direction at the same time. You were interrupted, but you stand by what you said. “Got your inkay.” He walks over, almost hesitantly, and takes it from you. His fingers feel rougher than they did when you met him four months ago. Hormones? Trail callouses?

“Sure you aren’t keeping one? Or a carbink? They aren’t that hard to catch.”

He’d already gone ahead and caught one of the carbink. Good for the last battles of the island and he can always sell it to VStar for a lot of money when he’s done. Sailed straight through the bug trial with it. All while you’ve been distracted by an overbearing ninetales and a frostbite curse. You shiver at the memory. The scratches were never deep but they still chill you to the core whenever you think about them.

“Pixie would lose her shit if I got another pokémon right now.” You pause. “If I lose today,” and Pixie is gone for good, “I’ll catch a carbink for the rematch.”

“Can’t believe you’re dragging her back for a battle,” Kekoa mutters.

“Excuse me?”

“She’s found a new home and you’re bringing her back just to get her electrocuted by a vikavolt.”

“I just want to check on her. Make sure she knows what she’s getting into. She’s barely been there half a week—”

“This checkup includes getting electrocuted?”

“She agreed to it.”

“Hypocrite.” You don’t dignify him with a response. “All the moralizing about my charjabug and you just won’t let your own pokémon go.”

Your voice gets colder than the scars on your side. “I’ve let more slip through my hands than you could imagine. Now get out of my room.”

“Hypocrite.”

He walks out and shuts the door.

“That was…” Lyra trails off, unsure of herself. You debate talking to her or telling her to leave or any number of things. In the end you just sink into your bed and sigh.

“Do you agree with him?”

She squirms enough that the old Center bed creaks underneath her. “If she agreed then I guess it’s fine? Even still I’m worried you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.” You raise an eyebrow. And remember she can’t see you. But you don’t really want to say anything, either. She carries on anyway. “You’re the one who can speak to dragons and birds so maybe I just don’t know as much as pokémon, but I’m worried that she’ll leave and you won’t accept it. Then maybe you’ll get hurt again.”

“Thank you, but I can take care of myself.”

You’ve had to since you were born. You can make it just a little bit farther.

4 February, 2020​

The stars aren’t against you, but they aren’t good. A day governed by the moon. A time for reflection and growth. The trenca is governed by the goddess of childbirth. They combine to mark a day for new beginnings. Is it a renewal? Pixie coming back for you? Or the start of your time moving on without her? You can only hope for the former.

Thankfully, you had a little time to knit in Hau’oli. A small, embroidered hummingbird felt like your best creation. You tossed it into the ocean today with a prayer to Chalchiuhtlicue, shaper of your soul. Maybe she will be with you today.

*​

“Hi, Pixie!”

The fox walks over with measured, quiet steps before pressing her muzzle against you. She sniffs your extended hand and you run it along her cheek and chin before moving your other hand up to scratch her ears. Then you slowly bring one hand over her body to feel for injuries. The other always stays with her head where she likes to be scratched. She’s uninjured. Her fur feels well cared for. Kalani isn’t hurting or neglecting her. Physically.

A cold breeze runs past you and your scars get painfully cold as phantom icicles stab into your body. You do your best not to gasp. Just ignore her. It’s not a good time to show weakness, physical or mental.

“You ready?”

She barks ‘yes.’

{Still think you want to stay with her when this is done?}

{Yes.}

Maybe she’ll feel differently afterwards. If you can just set things up so that she gets the final, decisive blow… It’s not how you want to handle the fight. Ideally, you’d lead with Coco to set up stealth rocks and deal with whatever the totem’s assistant is. Then into Pixie to slow down the vikavolt with icy wind so that Noci can catch up to it. Then let Nocitlālin do her thing until you win or lose.

“Want to lead the way?”

“Yes.”

*​

Kalani trails behind you the entire way there. Because of course she does.

It starts to snow on the way over. Little pricks of cold fluff hitting your body before melting away. It’s something you’ve never felt in person. Only through mom’s memories. Alice would never take you up to mountaintops that were snowing because she hated cold and thought you were weird for wanting to go there.

You don’t know if it’s a good omen or not. The god of snow is also the god of punishment and suffering. But Pixie is an ice-type. On balance… on balance you have no idea.

*​

“Someone’s here,” Pixie huffs.

“Like the captain?”

“Maybe. Also a bug.”

She doesn’t care much about individual humans. There are far too many, after all. Same goes for bugs.

“Hello,” you call out.

“Hi! You must be Cuicatl.” Her voice is high-pitched and fast. She’s one of the youngest captains ever at only twelve. Her youth shows. Not sure what she did to become captain in spite of it.

“Yes.”

“Great. My name is Grace and I am the Trial Captain of Ten Carat Hill.” Her footsteps stop a few meters out and her voice drops to a whisper. “She already knew that, though, didn’t she.”

You smile. No need to be rude. “It’s good to know I’m in the right place.”

That seems to perk her up. “This is the totem, Buzzy.”

Wingbeats approach. They’re almost frighteningly fast, more of a drone than the sound of flapping. Nothing like Alice. Static fills the air as the giant lightning bug begins to hover nearby.

“Honored to meet you, Buzzy.”

He doesn’t bother answering. It’s not like humans can understand him, anyway.

“Wait. Are you the butterfree girl?”

You’re keeping track of the times you’re asked that. Helps you figure out what Miss Bell owes you.

“Yes.”

“And you work for VStar?”

She sounds a little bitter. The static in the air grows heavier and you can feel strands of your hair trying to push away from your scalp.

“I’m broke.” Americans say ‘broke’ when they mean ‘poor.’ You are never supposed to say ‘poor’ when talking about yourself. Or anyone you care about. You can use it to describe other people. Poor is a moral concept. Broke is not.

“They almost killed all the grubbin. Kept catching them and shipping them away—"

“I’m a broke orphan refugee.”

A lie. You’re here on a challenge visa, not to seek asylum. And your father is probably still alive. She doesn’t need to know that.

“Still shouldn’t work for them,” she mutters. The static dies down a moment later. “If you’re going to use the vulpix you should take it off its harness.”

“Blind. I need her help.”

You can practically feel Pixie perk up at that. She’s proud to be needed. She might leave anyway. You doubt she loses sleep trying to square the two.

“Oh. That’s right. Stupid. Follow me, then.”

You can feel the snowfall fade and the temperature shift when you get into the cave. Your footsteps begin to echo. The vikavolt is flying somewhere ahead of you and Grace.

“You cleared the water trial already?” Grace asks.

“Yes.”

“So you’ve been traveling? In the dark? While blind?”

“Last two cancel each other out.”

She stops walking. “Oh. Um. I feel like I’m saying a bunch of wrong things. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You giggle to show how fine it is. And hopefully get her to forget that she hates you.

“You’re still really brave. And lucky. Mom won’t let me leave home except for work. Even though I’ve fought UBs.”

A casual reminder that if Buzzy went all out none of your pokémon could take more than a hit or two. Good thing the totems usually pull their punches. Offensively, at least. They might refuse to go down easily so that all of your team will need to put in work, but they don’t want to kill or maim weaker opponents. Once you get to your sixth you’d better be prepared to fight a totem at full strength. Thankfully it won’t be a vikavolt. Dodged a bullet there.

“Hiking in the cold has been an experience. Won’t miss it when the sun comes back.”

It had better. And soon. There are already rumblings about a flower war in the Yucatan. If the sun comes back soon maybe the tlatoani will see it as a good omen and stay his hand.

“You don’t need VStar, though. There are scholarships. If you just put in some time you can get the money you need. Or at least enough that everything else can be covered by battle prize money.”

“Did you use the scholarships?”

“No,” she admits. “My parents paid for some stuff when I was starting out. My mom used some on her journey.”

You have some of your own mother’s memories. She’d tried to find some. Spent a few weeks running around Nimbasa and Castelia writing letters and being interviewed. She got sixty dollars in the end. Spent more than that on postage and subway tickets. Would have told you not to bother.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

Grace huffs in displeasure. She must’ve finally gotten the hint because she doesn’t press you further.

“When the darkness goes away and I can have a real trial, challengers will have to find some grubbin in the caves. Just imagine that part.”

“Is it actually harder to walk a cave in the dark?”

“Well, no, but the League says no puzzles right now. I’m fine with it because it means I don’t have to stay out in the cold as long, but it still isn’t what I was imagining.”

“A lot isn’t right now.” You’d always imagined you’d have your brother and at least Alice, Renfield, and Searah for this. More recently you’d thought that Pixie wouldn’t leave. Maybe Necrozma stole people’s dreams away with the light.

“True. Anyway, after your puzzle you’d meet me in the caldera and the totem would come out, but Buzzy’s already here so…”

He sends out a small ripple of static.

“I guess I should tell you that his partner today is a psyduck. Since you can’t just see her when she lumbers onto the field. Don’t think you can just muscle through Buzzy with fire or rock-types.”

She shouldn’t really be giving out hints for her own trial but it’s such a basic one. You will be using a rock-type, probably to take down the psyduck. The split god blessed the dragons with resistance to thunder and fire. Coco can take a hit or two from the totem as long as he’s pulling his punches. An ice beam would hurt but maybe she can still get through and land a thunder fang. It’s not like you have better options. Pixie couldn’t do much at all to the water-type and Noci is better off dogfighting the totem.

The snow has gone away when you enter the clearing. Is that the psyduck’s presence or just a natural change in the weather? Or maybe an omen?

“You can take the leash off your vulpix now. Battle can begin whenever.”

You carefully, delicately undo Pixie’s harness while stroking her ear. Then you withdraw her back to her new ball. She’ll come back at the end, hopefully to score a final big hit and win the whole thing.

“Coco, let’s get started.”

She growls at her enemies and you can’t help but smile.

“Charge the psyduck. Prepare fire fang while you run.”

An unholy buzzing almost immediately breaks out. It’s like mosquitos except there are millions and they’re right inside your brain. You clamp your hands over your ears but it doesn’t matter much. You instinctively know that trying to use your gift would make it all even worse. Damn bugs with their anti-psychic attacks. And it’s not even aimed at you!

A pulse of cold makes your side freeze up. Ice beam from the psyduck, probably. Coco growls but keeps going. The buzzing lets up just in time for a crack of thunder to take its place. Hopefully that will stop when Coco gets closer. No good in striking your own ally with a thunderbolt. Then it depends what the vikavolt’s final two moves are. Maybe energy ball for rock-types? Sticky web or thunder wave to slow opponents? Roost to keep going? It’s a new-ish trial and there’s not much information online.

Another blast of ice makes Coco yelp in pain. Hopefully the fire fang is acting as a kind of shield. Hopefully.

“Thunder fang when you get close.”

There’s another thunderbolt and then you can hear the scream and growls. Coco’s latched on. She yelps in pain. “Hot water!” The words are muffled since she’s biting down but your gift gets them all the same. Thank the gods the vikavolt isn’t attacking.

“Keep going! Just a little bit more!”

What is the vikavolt doing, anyway? Its wingbeats have changed. Closer together.

Agility, maybe. Every second that Coco takes bringing down the psyduck will make the totem faster. That means Noci will have a harder time getting a hit in. There’s nothing you can do but wait.

It takes longer than you’d like but eventually Grace speaks up. “The psyduck’s down.”

You’re torn. Withdrawn Coco and prevent any more setup? Or stay in for a little bit more to put some stealth rocks up? The latter might get the totem to attack, solving both problems.

“Stealth rock into the air.”

Coco howls in fury. Her cries are met by another thunderbolt. You can still feel her conscious mind at the edge of yours, awake and raging at the sky. It takes a few more seconds for the totem to charge another bolt. The hairs on your skin stand up and another mighty crack of thunder echoes across the caldera. You can feel Coco’s mind slip away from yours as she falls unconscious.

“Good job. Return.” You expand Noci’s ball and hit the release button. “The partner’s down, go for Plan A.”

Plan A is Take Down. Repeat until one side is unable to battle or you get new orders.

{How many rocks are there in the air?} you ask.

{Nine. Mean size approximately eighty-two cubic centimeters with a standard deviation of seventeen cubic centimeters.}

Not as many as you would have hoped. {Try to herd him towards the rocks. They’ll hurt him a lot more than you.}

Another thunderbolt tears through the air.

{Acknowledged.}

You can hear the vikavolt’s wingbeats but not Noci’s flight. Most trainers would monitor the skies. Keep track of where the rocks are. What patterns the totem falls into. Try to find something exploitable. You can’t. You can really only stand still and hope for the best.

{Is he too fast to catch?}

The sound of a blunt hit and cracking bug armor answers you. {Negation.}

{If he starts to lose the damage race, he’ll probably use agility to get even faster until you can’t land another hit. Tell me if that happens.}

{Acknowledged.}

Another thunderbolt. And then nothing for a long time.

{UD_Totem_3 has selected Evasive Maneuvers;
[] Initiate Ramming
[] Evasive Maneuvers
[] Telekinesis
[] Claw Swipe
[] Energy Beam
[] No Action}

{Telekinesis. Try to move the rocks into him.}

You take out the Normalium-Z from your case and slot it into place. Ideally, you’d let Pixie use the Z-Move, but you don’t have an ice crystal yet. Still not sure how you’ll get one of those.

Or if you’ll need to.

You start the motions to bring out Z-power. Going slow this time. Doing it properly so nothing happens. It’s actually easy enough. Just dancing. You start to bring your hands into the final stance and—

Sirens wail, babies scream, the mosquitoes are once again invading your head. It’s a little easier this time because you were prepared, but it still hurts. It takes all your remaining focus to move your arms into position, move your body just so, and set off the Z-move. Energy surges through your arms and drains your body as the terrible buzzing ravages your brain.

You black out before you can see the aftermath.

*

[???]​

The sun shines without mercy. Your skin feels like leather that’s shriveled up and hardened under its rays. The sand beneath scorches a finger that strayed off your makeshift blanket. You can’t be bothered to move it. Not when your mouth feels like you’ve already shriveled up into a skeleton.

“Now how’d you get here?”

You startle.

Another human?

Here?

Are you hallucinating?

Or are you finally free?

*​

{Alarm Lvl 1011: Connection to UD_Cuicatl_Ichtaca Lost;
Alarm Lvl 111: Circuitry Overloading;
Alarm Lvl 101: Heat Vent Malfunctioning}

{‘m fi…ne}

You withdraw her before she can question that. Try to withdraw her. The cold air tells you that you hit the wrong ball and let Pix out early.

Early? Were you waiting on something?

Trial.

“Are you okay?” Someone taps your shoulder and it takes you a moment to remember who she is.

“Yeah. Just. Dreamed? I think? Happens.”

You giggle at the joke. Dreaming does just happen. You feel out Noci’s great ball to make sure you’re pressing the right button this time. Then you withdraw her. For realsies. You reach out an arm to Pix and pull her close to your side. Huh. When did you get on the ground?

There’s a funny feeling on your side when you’re cuddling Pix but you kind of just ignore it. “You’re a little pain in the ass, you know? And I love you. Like a lot. Sweet little fox. So soft and pretty and smart.”

“Come on, let’s get you back to the Pokémon Center,” the small girl says.

“But there’s a trial…” You gently push Pixie away as your mind starts waking up. “Use, uh, icy wind? Slow him down?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Relaaaaax. I think I’m just allergic to bug buzz. And Z-power.”

She’s supposed to be a trial captain, right? Can’t she just captain the trial.

Pixie decides that you’re serious enough. Cold air whips around the field and your side feels funny again. A curse? Right. There was the other vulpix. Big vulpix. And she cursed you.

And you’re doing this to keep your sweet fox from big vulpix.

Your hair starts to stand up and lightning strikes nearby.

“Keep at it for a bit. Then, um, aurora beam?”

“I should stop this…” The captain mutters. And then she doesn’t do that. Good. Pixie deserves to feel special.

There’s more cold and lightning. Your hair is starting to frizz so you know it’s got to be really bad for Pixie. Poor girl. You’ll give her a long brushing / cuddles session later.

Or big vulpix will.

You frown.

Pixie’s going away. Just like everyone else.

“Enough, Buzzy. It’s over. She won.”

“Yes!”

Pixie walks back over to you and you get some stuff out of the treats bag you had prepared. A paralyze heal, a super potion, and a few pokémon treats. Not the blood icicle thing because it would just melt and get everything else bloody.

After you finish spraying Pix down with the paralyze heal something big-ish starts walking towards you.

“My heracross is going to pick you up and take you to the Pokémon Center, okay?”

“Gimme a minute. Need to finish treating Pix.”

“They can also take care of her at the Pokémon Center.”

“But I wanna do it.”

So unfair. You had this all planned out and now she’s ruining it.

“Can you withdraw her, please?”

“Not until she’s had her treats.”

The captain mutters something about her training but still waits until Pixie’s nibbled up everything from your palm.

*​

Every Pokémon Center’s sickbay smells about the same. Lots and lots of disinfectant, the faint smell of a flowery air freshener, and a hint of chansey egg. You hate that you’ve spent enough time in them to memorize all that.

“Hello, miss. Are you awake?” A nurse. Her voice drips with the medicinal fake-sweetness of cough syrup.

You groan something out that was supposed to be a ‘yes.’

“Can you understand me?”

“Y-yeah.” You were expecting your throat to be horribly dry. It’s strange that it isn’t. Or that you expected that in the first place.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Cuicatl Ichtaca.”

“Date of birth?”

“Seven Tititl Tecpatl”

“Um.”

“16 September 2004.”

“And today’s date?”

“February 4, 2020.”

“Current president?”

You hiss. “Do I have to say his name?”

“Yes.”

You do. Reluctantly. If you ever needed to prove that tlatoanis shouldn’t be elected your argument would start and end with this man.

“Can you look into the light for me?”

“No.”

There’s a long silence.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was going to use a Z-Move and…” Oh no. If the trial got cancelled than you fucked up your entire plan with Pixie. “…I’m guessing that didn’t work out so well.”

“You don’t remember anything after that?”

Now that you think about it little pieces filter in. Overbearing heat and dryness. Hugging Pixie while lying down on wet grass. Complaining to someone while you were being carried. It’s all blurry, though. Like something you might’ve read about in a storybook years ago. You tell the nurse as much.

“Heat and dryness, you say?”

“Yes.” Even though that shouldn’t fit in with Alola being a freezing hellhole right now. “Is that bad?”

“I don’t know.”

It takes her a bit to figure out what to do with the information you gave her. Enough time for you to ask a question of your own.

“How are my pokémon?”

“The vulpix and tyrunt are being treated for electrical burns. Nothing too bad. Should be released within the hour. Metang can repair minor circuitry damage on their own and the armor plating was unharmed. I would keep it out of its ball for a while.”

She seems more comfortable talking about their injuries than yours. Makes sense. The ‘nurses’ are usually veterinarians and not doctors. Most trainers don’t get hurt as much as their pokémon. You’re just the unlucky exception to the rule. At least Pixie and Coco are fine.

Wait.

“The vulpix fought?”

“It certainly seems that way.” You can practically feel her frown in the air. “Do you not remember that?”

“No. She was supposed to fight at the end.”

“Hmph. I can’t imagine a captain would let you fight in your condition.”

But apparently she had.

“Do you know if I won?”

“You did, yes.”

Then everything worked. Pixie got to prove herself. Even if you don’t get to remember it.

“How hurt am I, anyway?

She sighs. “I don’t know. You might have fainted from the Z-move and then hit your head on the ground. Grace doesn’t think you did, but she might be wrong. You also have a history of bad reactions to Z-power. Those usually go away after repeated exposure and I’ve never heard of hot flashes accompanying them. I want to keep you under observation for a little while longer.”

Does that mean you won’t get a chance to talk to Pix before Kalani gets into her head again? “Can I see my vulpix when she’s healed.”

“I can send her in.”

She walks out a while later without telling you she’s leaving. At least you can feel out a cup of water near your cot. You guzzle that down until the phantom parching in your throat goes away.

The nurse returns with Pixie a few minutes later. And then gives you your privacy. “Are you hurt?” you ask. You think about running your hands through her fur to check but if she is hurt she might not like it. She might lie to cover for Kalani, but you doubt she feels the same way about stupid bugs.

“No. I am strong.”

You rub her ear. “So was the bug. Sure you aren’t a little hurt?”

“My fur stood up. It was horrible.”

Figures she’d care more about that than the burns.

“I’m sorry you had to go through such a thing.”

She growls in agreement.

“Did you change your mind about leaving me?”

“No.” It’s a quiet denial. Like she doesn’t like admitting it. “I was adopted.”

Adopted by a ninetales, she means. Your adoption means nothing in comparison. Your hopes begin to spiral and sink but you pull yourself together before she can see it. There’s still another chance. “Okay. You’ll stay with her when I leave in a few days. Then… soon I’ll fight the kahuna. The person you only get to fight after beating the big enemies you’ve been fighting. It’s the ending of everything you’ve been doing for the last few months. I would gladly have your help if you want to be there.”

“I do.”

You relax. Good. She doesn’t hate you. She just places too much love on someone she’s known for three days. Give it another week and she might have learned more about her new “mother” and changed her mind.

You pull her in for a full embrace. “You’re so fluffy,” you say. “And pretty. And smart. And strong. No one who really knows you would ever want to leave you. I’m sad you’re going but I’m glad you’re happy. If you ever want to come back, I’ll take you in a heartbeat.”

She purrs.

Alice rumbled like that sometimes when she was happy.

Rumbles.

She’s still alive.

Still out there.

You’ll see her again.

You’ll see Pixie again.

Everything will work out.

It has to.

 

[Pen]

Summary should be: Genesis' parents realize they've made a grave mistake in not properly vetting their psychic expert.

Gen chapter! As always, so good. Writing and dialogue felt especially tight in this one. I was fearing the worst when we met our expert and his hypno--I thought Gen would be in for something like Lyra experienced, maybe even having her memories of Cuicatl and co written over completely. So I was so pleasantly surprised when instead we got a academic who knows his shit and values morality over money. His clash with Gen's parents, both on the shallow--his buttons!!--and substantive level made for a really engaging read, and offered Gen a great position to spectate from. In her own way, Gen's very receptive to new information and contrary views. She doesn't accept them right away, but she engages with them, and doesn't stop engaging even when the person espousing them goes away. In terms of her basic personality, she's kind of more open-minded than Kekoa and Cuicatl are. It was also great on a story level to get some solid expert exposition on how psychics work and Cuicatl fits in.

Not sure what to make of Gen's newest addition. Very suspicious of psyducks after reading the dex entry, but we'll see, I guess. I like how you're characterizing Gen's parents--particularly in this chapter, they feel very grounded and not cartoonish. Only criticism I have of the chapter is that it feels like things just sort of taper off in the last section.

But yeah, Gen 💔 I'm starting to see little things piling up. She still considers Cuicatl good. She's wary of her parents to some extent. We've got the psychic helpline and the absence of cleaning staff. Looking forward to when the damn breaks (but I appreciate how slow you've taken this, and I don't find Gen's constant rationalizing frustrating--it makes sense for her situation and who she is.)

dangerous. she’d

Typo

you were more concerned about making her not furious than actually listening to her arguments.

That checks out so hard.

‘click.’ Before we begin,

Missing quotes

Mother flinches at the word damage. A small sign that she cares.

So much caring.

He blinks. “Holy vulpix?”

“The Alolan one,” Father answers.

“Hmm. Spoke with one once. I’d hardly call them holy.”

He knows, lol

Metagross, uh, no one really knows. Not how they usually fuck people up—”

I love the running theme of everyone being freaked out by metagross.

Dr. Brinner exhales. He seems almost as annoyed with your parents as they seem with him. It’s weird. You’ve almost never seen anyone cross with your family. Sometimes you see Skull graffiti or newscasts covering some crude statement about your family, but you’d always figured that no one would dare disrespect them in person.

This paragraph was just very well done.

One proposed that they could influence minds but there’s no real evidence in my opinion. His theory rested on a few lines in a poorly preserved epic and the assumption that no one could rule a kingdom with only boosted strength, the ability to speak the language of every clan, and the backing of a powerful dragon. I have no idea how that dreck got out of peer review.

Heh, so fun how he keeps going off on these tangents.

He almost sounds like Cuicatl going on a rant about dinosaurs. Is he psychic himself? Is that a common psychic trait?

Love that Gen actually correctly deduces this, albeit for the wrong reasons

“That’s not alarming in and of itself. Most telepaths can, even if their specialization isn’t in language. There’s some debate as to why that is. Two theories are popular but I think at least three more are worth investigating—"

Father clears his throat. “Is this going anywhere?”

LOL

Dr. Brinner turns back to you. “Any more questions before we begin?”

“No.” Mother says. “Go ahead.”

Oh. The question wasn’t directed at you.

The dynamic in a nutshell

It’s a sin to lie. It’s also a sin to disobey your parents. What if your parents order you to lie? The temple never prepared you for that.

Gen's logic gets straight to the heart of these inconsistencies and then she turns around and assumes she's the problem.

three times—

–the room

Why no second em dash??

—” He ignores Mother’s glare. “–

What did the second em dash do to you??

Mother noticeably frowns. “Something like that would be illegal?”

“Very.”

“Everywhere?”

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Even with parental consent?”

Dr. Brinner looks towards you and holds eye contact. You squirm under it but keep the gaze. It’s polite. And it keeps you from thinking about the question you must have misheard. “Ma’am, I am a mandatory reporter for child abuse.”

Wrong answer.

Dialogue so well done here. The crescendo building up to "even with parental consent" is so brutal.

“Any alteration to a child’s sexuality would be sexual assault via preternatural ability under Alolan law. Legally speaking, child abuse.”

Makes sense that the law would have adapted to this

{If anything goes very wrong, scream out for Lila Takeda in your mind. She lives on the island and she’s strong enough that she’ll hear it.}

! psychic network, huh. I wonder if this will be Gen's ultimate escape route.

There are layers of The Cocoon. Allana will end up somewhere in the middle for the sins of either perversion or wrath. Maybe both. Cuicatl is a noble pagan who gets to live at the edge. No torture beyond being able to look out into the light of Xerneas and know what she forfeited by rejecting Xerneas.

Hah, love how you're adapting Dant's inferno

Is someone properly repentant if their brain was altered into being repentant? If they ask you to do it you have to say yes, right? Otherwise you’re disobeying your parents. How you feel doesn’t matter, then, because you’ll say yes regardless. You shouldn’t think too much about a thing that doesn’t matter.

🙃

“I apologize. We did not properly vet our expert. Further investigation has revealed him to be a thief and a drug user, information that will be sent on to the police and his employer. And he had terrible things to say about our savior. Thank Xerneas that such a man is no longer teaching the youth.”

They work fast.

“You know I would never hurt you. I just wished there was an option for easing your suffering. That’s all, whatever that man said. We can still do things the normal way. Will do things the normal way. We just needed to take a break for a little bit to let you settle down from the bad influence.”

She sounds sincere. You relax and lean into the hug. Mother wouldn’t hurt you. Everything was a misunderstanding. One other though pricks through your comfort. Was it your choice? Would she order you to say yes? It’s such a nice moment and she just said she wouldn’t hurt you. No need to ruin it.

That doesn’t make the annoying thought go away.

A bit confused about what Gen's thought "Was it your choice" comes in response to.

“Your mother insisted on that one. I think it should be fine if you’re wearing a swimsuit or raincoat.”

“Thank you.” You can have a pokémon back. Have someone with you. That will make everything more bearable.

“Hmph. I think you should at least have the leafeon, too. Yes, they have a smell that gets on your clothes. So what? That’s how it works for trainers. Sometimes you get pyroar fur over everything and that’s just a fact of life.’

I really like this, because it's realistic that Mom and Dad don't agree on everything, but this is the level of things they disagree on.

In fairness, pyroar shed a lot and then sometimes accidentally light that fur on fire. Father’s lost at least one chair that way.

Continue to enjoy all the associated issues with raising super powered pokemon as pets

Father smiles. “We should talk more about trainer life sometime. I never took you for one, but you went and won two trials and lived on the trail for three months.” He lays a hand on your shoulder and you start beaming because it’s been ages since he praised you. Before the rooftop, at least.

A nice touch of realistic kindness here that doesn't really change anything

Lyra almost ended up with one and she was apoplectic, spread out on your bed saying uncouth things at the roof.

She was definitely always bad for you now that you think about it.

I don't know what it is, but the phrasing on the second line cracked me up.

Wild psyduck are a whole lot of fun, but you have to have a very particular personality to like them.”

Um, yeah. I read the psyduck entry. A very particular personality is one way to put it.

Father pulls something wrapped in plastic out of his pocket and hands it to you. It seems to be a… pickle? What? “They love these things,” Father says. “Unwrap and offer it to him.”

Oliver glances at you when you start peeling back the plastic and then starts waddling a fast as his legs can take him when he realizes what it is. He snatches it from your outstretched hand and stuffs it into his bill.

Is this part of some very abstract psychological scheme to make Gen into guys

Come to think of it you haven’t heard vacuuming since you got here. Maybe the cleaning staff isn’t coming in because of the darkness.

Hmmm. I wonder if their security is reduced too.

You have a basket of old plushes tucked into the back corner of your closet. Mother calls them childish, but she let you keep them as long as they were well-hidden enough that she never saw any.

That sums up Gen and her family's relationship so well. You can have certain parts of yourself as long as they are completely hidden.

All the work you put into that staircase and he found a bed of his own.

Didn't get this. What work did she put into what staircase?

 

[WildBoots]

Flying 3.17

So, as I said in DMs, I liked this chapter a lot and I think it's my favorite in the last while! (Probably my favorite since ghost bird tea party.)

I like the running theme of Gen's parents being worried about her being mind controlled ... because it's not really about that, not exactly. It's that they want to be the ones in control of her mind.

I really enjoyed Dr. Brinner, how clearly he does not mesh with the Gage family's expectations of the world and how he's got his own stuff going that has nothing to do with them, nerding out and getting off track. He seems like a reminder for Gen that her parents' way isn't the only way and there is still a world outside this house.

Glad she got SOME of her pokemon back! (Anxious Ferny & Bubbles sounds.)

And some line reactions:

Spoiler: Line Reactions

“I have long had my suspicions about her,” Father says. His low voices rumbles through the room. “But this seems akin to confirmation. I’d thought she was a witch, but I may have made a grave mistake and allowed my daughter to associate with a psychic.” The starmie’s light turns a deep shade of a pink. He grimaces. “That certainly complicates things.”

Welp. So much for Rachel's strategy for protecting her.

“Perhaps,” Father concedes. “You will still need to be examined. We’ll call in an expert as soon as we can. Make sure that nothing is dug in too deep. We will make sure that justice is served if they find something.”

I was half afraid they were going to use this as their opportunity to plant things of their own, and ... I guess that's not totally off the table, is it? 🙃

It only takes a day or so for Father to bring in his expert.

I wasn't sure why the uncertainty here.

“The point is that the vulpix giving her a power boost is possible but unlikely. Same for the beldum. Even metang are only passable telepaths. Metagross, uh, no one really knows. Not how they usually fuck people up—”

“Do not swear in front of my daughter.” Mother crosses her arms and glares. “She’s impressionable.”

I enjoyed this tension between the psychic expert's priorities and her parents'.

“Is it that obvious?” There are people who really don’t like psychics. Like Lyra. If they met it could be disastrous. No. There are four islands, none of them small. They probably won’t cross paths. Thanks be to Xerneas.

LOL
You know, that would be unqiuely stressful from Gen's POV, her first crush old friend and her new crush just a friend meeting. Good thing that would never ever ....

“I don’t have any questions, no.” It’s a sin to lie. It’s also a sin to disobey your parents. What if your parents order you to lie? The temple never prepared you for that.

👀 These are good questions, Gen.

Mother noticeably frowns. “Something like that would be illegal?”

“Very.”

“Everywhere?”

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Even with parental consent?”

Oh NOOO. I didn't realize what she was suggesting until "even with parental consent." :c

“Ma’am, I am a mandatory reporter for child abuse.”

👏 Thank god. An adult.

“I—yes.” He shakily gets to his feet. {If anything goes very wrong, scream out for Lila Takeda in your mind. She lives on the island and she’s strong enough that she’ll hear it.}

I wanted a little reaction from Gen here. Even if she wondered if he was psychic and even if she knows it's possible for humans to talk telepathically, it must still be startling for it to happen without warning.

Is someone properly repentant if their brain was altered into being repentant?

OOOOH Gen's asking the real questions.
I feel like whatever conclusions she comes to about her parents is going to trickle down to her feelings about her religion because of this line of logic: her parents don't actually care if her repentance counts, just that she's under control.

How you feel doesn’t matter, then, because you’ll say yes regardless. You shouldn’t think too much about a thing that doesn’t matter.

:c Welp.

“I apologize. We did not properly vet our expert. Further investigation has revealed him to be a thief and a drug user, information that will be sent on to the police and his employer.

"Further investigation."

She sounds sincere. You relax and lean into the hug. Mother wouldn’t hurt you. Everything was a misunderstanding. One other though pricks through your comfort. Was it your choice? Would she order you to say yes? It’s such a nice moment and she just said she wouldn’t hurt you. No need to ruin it.

Gen wants their love so bad. :C

and that’s just a fact of life.’

Whoops!

I never took you for one, but you went and won two trials and lived on the trail for three months.”

Lol I love that his wilderness brag is so small.

“This is Oliver. He’s your new pokémon.”

A psyduck. A male psyduck.

OH NOOOOO

leans forward and… clamps his bill around your hand. Softly. You can barely feel it. But it’s so, so weird. And endearing, kind of. After a few seconds he lets go and starts waddling off towards the pool.

This is such a great visual. I love how ready she is to ✨ make friends ✨ ... and then he chomps her. And leave it to Gen to still find a way to see it as endearing.

You’ll need to cut back his diet, probably. Maybe not immediately. It would be a bad first impression.

Oh godddd this has to be a reflection of her parents' scary shit trickling through her to how she treats her pokemon.

That’s a very cute friend you have there.” He steps back and pulls it closer as if afraid you’ll take it. Then he turns around and darts back into the closet, stufful in hand.

Welp. Now they're both back in the closet, I guess, ohohoho. Also his stuffed animal fixation is very cute. (Evidence of his own prior trauma?)

👋

 

[Persephone]

Fighting 3.18: Upgrade
Nocitlālin

[Unit100_110010 Summons Unit001_101110110]

[Alarm Lvl 111: Corollary1 Jeopardized By Summons.]

[Unit100_110010 Summons Unit001_101110110]

[Orders Received]

[Initiate Ramming]

Estimated Arrival Time: 101010011001 Seconds;
Obstacles Encountered: Minimal;
Transit Time: 101010011111 Seconds

Unit001_101110110 Has Arrived

Unit100_110010 and Unknown 001 Class Unit Present.

Unit100_110010 pivots towards Unit001_101110110.

[Request: Mission Results]

[Data Packet: Observations Delivered to Unit100_110010]

[Observation: 21.6% of Data Pertains to Fluid Release]

[Query: Fluid Release Data Sufficient?]

A pause of 0.24 seconds recorded. Value exceeds maximum observed lapse in 100 Class Unit communications.

[Request: UnitDesignate Cuicatl Ichtaca Communications Regarding Fluid Release Observation]

[Data Packet: Communications Regarding Fluid Release Delivered to Unit100_110010]

Unit100_110010 Analyzes Data Packet.

[Monitor Fluid Release Priority.low]

Unit001_101110110 Has Gathered Sufficient Data On Fluid Release.

[Unit001_101110110 Insufficient To Fulfill Corollary1: Protect Unit_Designate_Cuicatl_Ichtaca;
010 Class Unit Sufficient To Fulfill Corollary1;
Upgrade Needed;
Unit001_101110110 Will Be Decommissioned;
Unit 001_1001111100 Will Be Decommissioned;
010 Class Unit Will Be Commissioned]

[Alarm Lvl 111: Heat Vent Malfunction Detected in Unit001_101110110;
Resulting Class 010 Unit Would Be Inefficient]

Unit 001_1001111100 Repeats the Alarm.

[Unit001_101110110 Insufficient To Fulfill Corollary1: Protect Unit_Designate_Cuicatl_Ichtaca;
010 Class Unit Sufficient To Fulfill Corollary1;
Upgrade Needed;
Unit001_101110110 Will Be Decommissioned;
Unit 001_1001111100 Will Be Decommissioned;
010 Class Unit Will Be Commissioned]

[Query: Heat Vent Malfunction Inefficient]

[Heat Vent Malfunction Efficient]

Class 100 Units Incapable of Mistake. Potential Information Processing Error in Unit001_101110110.

[Alarm Lvl 111: Heat Vent Malfunction Detected in Unit001_101110110]

[UnitDesignate Cuicatl Ichtaca Possesses Defective Sensory Equipment;
Humans Possess Trait.Empathy;
Trait.Empathy Increases Affinity To Similar Organisms;
Heat Vent Malfunction Increases Affinity Of UnitDesignate Cuicatl Ichtaca;
Affinity Efficient For Performing Mission;
Heat Vent Malfunction Efficient For Performing Mission]

Class 100 Units Incapable of Mistake.

[Heat Vent Malfunction Inefficient.]

[Negation: Heat Vent Malfunction Efficient]

11 Corrections From Class 100 Unit.

Heat Vent Malfunction Efficient.

[Query: Retain Heat Vent Malfunction Alarm]

[Affirmation]

Incongruent with Efficiency of Heat Vent Malfunction.

Class 100 Units Incapable of Mistake.

Unit100_110010 Approaches With Claws Engaged.

[Initiating Decommissioning Process…
Initiating Cognitive Shutdown…
Initiating Processing Shutdown…
Shutdown Complete]

UV Rays and Airborne Particulate Quartz Strike Armor.

No Damage Sustained.

Alarm Lvl 111: Heat Vent Malfunctioning.

UnitDesignate Tapu Bulu Sighted. Initiating Retreat.

*​

UnitDesignate Cuicatl Ichtaca Initiates Inefficient Hug.

*​

Unit100_11010 Summons Unit 001_1001111100.

*​

UnitDesignate Totem1 sways and then falls.

*​

A Class 100 Unit tears into your armor and removes the processing core.

Integration Attempt 10111: Aborted.

Beginning Integration Attempt 11111…

*​

[Unit010_100000111 Brought Online;
Hardware Check Complete;
Alarm Lvl 101: Heat Vent Malfunctioning;
Error Dismissed By Unit100_110010;
Software Checks Complete;
Integration Within Acceptable Parameters;
Reassignment: Retain Directives of Terminated Unit001_101110110]

You awaken.

Unit100_110010 waits nearby.

[Query: Time]

[100 Light Cycles Elapsed Between Decommissioning of Component Units, Commissioning of Unit010_100000111]

[Query: Status UD Cuicatl]

[Alarm Lvl 1011: Critical Damage to Optical Processing;
Alarm Lvl 10: Mental Distress]

Damage within satisfactory limits. Corollary1 on track.

A faint message is intercepted.

[Unit… are…]

[Relay: Unit100_1011110110, are you there;
UnitDesignate Cuicatl Ichtaca Summons Unit010_100000111]

Unit100_110010 Relays Conversation and Amplifies Signals from Unit010_100000111.

[Message: Can you come here now? It’s important.]

Unit100_1100010 begins to retreat.

[Initiate Ramming]

*

[10100 Light Cycles Later]​

UD Lyra stops and pivots to face Unit010_100000111.

“I know you’re there, you know.”

[] Assault
[] Evasive Maneuvers
[] Communicate
[] Do Nothing.

Assaults of all manner have been prohibited by Acting Administrator under the authority of a Class 100 Unit pursuant to Primary Mission. Evasive maneuvers hinder surveillance. Communication with irrational creatures difficult, especially with hostile individuals.

[X] Do Nothing

UD Mirai creates “growl,” an inefficient communication of threat.

“I don’t get why you enjoy stalking everyone so much.”

Mission = Monitor UD Cuicatl. Corollary1 = Defend UD Cuicatl. UD Lyra frequently interacts with UD Cuicatl. UD Lyra possesses power sufficient to harm UD Cuicatl. Surveillance furthers mission.

“Weirdo. How’d you like it if I spent all day stalking you, huh?”

Proposal increases time spent surveilling UD Lyra. Surveilling UD Lyra furthers mission.

[Query: UD_Lyra requests permission to monitor Unit010_100000111]

“That’s,” she huffs. An inefficient communication of exasperation / resignation / anger / sadness / overheating. “Why would I want to spend more time with you, you psychic freak?”

Class:Psychic Contains UD Cuicatl. UD Lyra expresses negative affinity towards Class:Psychic. UD Lyra is a threat to Corollary1. Concerns previously expressed to UD Cuicatl. UD Cuicatl Ordered Unit010_100000111 not to ram UD Lyra. Ramming UD Lyra would reduce affinity of UD Cuicatl. Reduced affinity inefficient for Primary Mission. UD Lyra continues to pose threat to Corollary1. Will continue to surveil.

“I don’t know why she puts up with you. You’re strong, yeah, but there are better steel types out there. Bisharp or bastiodon. Skarmory if she really wants something that can fly.”

Alarm Lvl 101: UD Cuicatl can acquire subordinate energy beings possessing a superior strength to Unit010_100000111. UD Cuicatl may only have 110 subordinate energy beings. Replacement inefficient for Primary Mission.

“Guess she likes you. Can’t tell why.”

UD Cuicatl will not replace Unit010_100000111 if high affinity is maintained. AffinityPriority.high. Will continue to surveil.

*​

Barrier:Lock undone by telepathic assault. You approach UD Cuicatl.

“What do you want?” UD Cuicatl hisses. “Haven’t you already taken enough?”

[Query]

UD_Cuicatl unclenches muscles. “Oh. Just you. I thought Kalani had come back.” She frowns. Inefficient communication for thought / anger / negative affinity / sadness / frustration. “Wait, you can just undo locks with telepathy now?”

[Affirmation.]

“Kekoa and Lyra are going to hate that…”

UD Cuicatl possesses high affinity towards UD Kekoa. UD Kekoa will have affinity towards Unit010_10000111 lowered if telekinetic application is discovered. Conclusion: hide telekinetic application from UD Kekoa.

UD Cuicatl holds arms out. Hugs inefficient. Initiate ramming.

She leans into you when the ramming is complete. “You’re not quite as warm now,” she says, “but it’s colder out so the hugs are still good.”

Heat vent malfunction is efficient / inefficient.

UD Cuicatl tightens its grip. Exerted strength negligible.

“I guess you weren’t too attached to Pix, huh?” she whispers. Whispers are an inefficient communication medium. Terrans perceive by auditory signals. Whispers are deliberately poor at transfer via auditory signal. Purpose unclear. Will continue to surveil.

[Unit010_100000111 Was Physically Separated From UD Pixie;
No Attachment Observed]

UD Cuicatl sighs inefficiently. “I guess emotion words might be a bit beyond you. What do you think about her leaving?”

Departure of UD Pixie reduces risk of replacement. Departure of UD Pixie reduces competition for affinity. Mission efficiency improved. UD Pixie protected UD Cuicatl. Corollary1 efficiency decreased.

[UD Pixie protected UD Cuicatl]

“You care about my safety then. Why?”

Corollary1: Protect UD_Cuicatl.

[Unit010_100000111 Possesses High Affinity For UD_Cuicatl]

“Or a metagross told you to look after me.”

Alarm Lvl 11: UD Cuicatl Seeking Restricted Information.

[] Assault
[] Evasive Maneuvers
[] Communicate
[] Do Nothing.

Assaults of all manner prohibited by Corollary1. Evasive Maneuvers will lead to repeat encounter. Do Nothing will lead to repeat encounter. Communicating restricted information to non-units is prohibited.

[X] Send False Information

[Negation]

“You told me about one, remember?” UD Cuicatl smiles, an inefficient expression of happiness / hate / custom. “Or do you have a flawed memory drive?”

[Class 010 Units Possess A Memory Drive Far Superior to Terrans;
Terrans Possess Flawed Memory Drives;
Unit010_100000111 Has Never Met a Class 100 Unit]

“Never met, maybe. Have you taken orders from one?”

[Unit010_100000111 Has Never Taken Orders From A Class 100 Unit]

“Fine,” UD_Cuicatl concedes. Unit010_100000111 Has Successfully Protected Secrets and Alleviated Suspicions of UD_Cuicatl. “You said you were older than me. What were you doing in all of that time before we met?”

[Quantity.age Unit010_100000111 < UD_Cuicatl;
Quantity.age Unit001_101110110 > UD_Cuicatl;
Quantity.age Unit001_1001111100 < UD_Cuicatl]

“Sure. What were the old beldum doing before you met me or evolved?”

[Unit001_101110110 Observed Aerial Ingress and Egress Above Location: Malie City;
Unit001_1001111100 Observed Activity in Location: Haina Valley]

UD Cuicatl leans back against the wall, trying to move Unit010_10000111 along with it.

[Initiate Ramming]

“Oof,” UD_Cuicatl hisses. “Don’t need to pin me to the wall like that.”

[Reduce Ramming Speed]

“Better.”

Ramming Speed Efficient.

“That’s why you didn’t know much about humans. You’d only ever seen them from a distance.”

[Affirmation]

“Never close enough to see them pee, then?” She laughs inefficiently in a display of happiness / fear / aggression / mockery.

[Monitor Fluid Release Priority.low]

“I’m sure Kekoa will be happy about that.”

UD Cuicatl possesses high affinity for UD Kekoa. Affinity with UD Kekoa increased by transfer of Fluid Release Monitoring priority. Will inform UD Kekoa of Fluid Release Monitoring priority.

“Both beldum monitored things, then. Stuff the metagross might be interested in. Air traffic, Tapu Bulu… why me, though? I’m not important.”

Alarm Lvl 11: UD Cuicatl Seeking Restricted Information.

Theory: UD Cuicatl poses low threat to Collective. UD Reshiram, UD Alice, UD Zekrom pose medium to high threat to Collective. Sending Theory Reveals Restricted Information.

[X] Send False Information

[Unit010_100000111 Is Not Monitoring UD Cuicatl;
Unit010_100000111 Has Never Taken Orders From A Class 100 Unit]

“I don’t even care, Noci,” UD Cuicatl lies. “I just want to know why a metagross is interested in me.”

[Unit010_100000111 Has Never Taken Orders From A Class 100 Unit]

UD Cuicatl frowns and leans further into you until her processing core lies above yours.

“Do you have myths? Or collective stories or whatever? You’re from space. Something interesting must happen up there.”

[Class 001 and Class 010 Units Incapable of Interplanetary Travel;
Unit010_100000111 and Decommissioned Components Were Commissioned on Terra]

“Okay, but didn’t the metagross that commissioned you tell you anything about it?”

[Negation: Unit010_100000111 Has Never Encountered a Class 100 Unit]

“Do you know anything about how the first metagross was created or why your species does what it does?”

[Query Unit100_110010: Origin of Collective;
Query Unit100_110010: Purpose of Collective]

[Restricted Information;
Restricted Information;
Providing Synthesized Alternative]

[DataPacket_Myth1: Decomposer On A Planet of Silicon Lifeforms Looked To The Stars, Became Unit100_1;
DataPacket_Myth10: Unit100_1 Could Not Obtain Data Quickly Enough;
DataPacket_Myth11: Unit100_1 Created More Units To Assist In Data Collection;
DataPacket_Myth100: Could Not Create Enough Class 100 Units. Created Class 010 and Class 001 Units to Gather Data with Less Resources;
Command: Relay DataPackets Myth1, Myth10, Myth11, Myth100 to UD Cuicatl]

UD_Cuicatl sits silently for a time. Then it reaches for its phone. Phones can connect human audio messages anywhere on the planet. Efficient. They rely on vulnerable points such as poles and satellites to do so. Inefficient. The humans should simply install communicators and signal boosters in the next models. Any efficient species would do so.

During Light Cycle: Dark most efficient task is monitoring electronic communications. Most communications are priority.low. Priority.high communications are encrypted 90.5% of the time.

UD Cuicatl receives electronic communications from UD Plant Girl.

[Sorry to hear about your vulpix :(
Anything I can do to help?
I heard it’s snowing there. Mom says that we can drive to the mountains and see snow here soon. Can we compare notes?
Sorry if this is insensitive.]

UD Cuicatl sets its phone down.

“You have a good memory drive, right? Can you tell me that again later?”

[Affirmation]

“Wait, if all you want to do is explore, why are the metagross so violent?”

[Query Unit100_110010 Aggression of Class 100 Units]

[Restricted Information]

[DataPacket_Myth5: Some information can only be gathered by dissection, subjection of non-unit species to stress;
Command: Relay DataPacket_Myth5 to UD Cuicatl]

“So it’s all about learning,” she whispers inefficiently. “And I guess you just don’t care about non-units. About Pixie. Or me.”

[Negation: UD Cuicatl Possesses Command Privileges Over Unit010_100000111]

“For now. Until you evolve and rip me apart.” UD Cuicatl lifts its central processing unit and begins to press arms against you.

[X] Evasive Maneuvers

[Negation: UD Cuicatl Possesses Command Privileges Over Unit010_100000111]

“Look, if you ever do evolve…”

UD_Cuicatl vents in a large quantity of air. Is it overheating?

“…if you ever evolve can you just end things quickly? And leave the people around me alone? They didn’t do anything to deserve it.”

[Order Logged]

Terrans possess Trait.Justice. They believe that some actions incur future ‘deserved’ consequences independent of the natural results of an action. Source of trait unknown. Empirical evidence is lacking. Sometimes Terrans will shape actions based on perception of ‘deserved’ consequences. UD Cuicatl restricts energy intake to align with Trait.Justice.

“I kind of hope you do evolve someday, though. After I’m gone. You’ll live a long time and it would suck to be trapped here for all of it when you could be exploring the stars.”

[Order Logged]

“Not an order…” UD Cuicatl horizontally rocks its processing core. “They say that The Dragonmother came from space. Maybe you’ll meet another one someday. And then, well, I mean she wouldn’t really care about a random organism that lived a long time ago on another planet, so I don’t really know what I’m asking for, but. It would be nice for someone to know I existed. That’s all.”

Alarm Lvl 101101: Class:Dragonmother Pose Potential Existential Threat To Collective, Notifying Unit100_110010 Immediately

[Class:Dragonmothers Are Already Known. Further Information Restricted. Dismiss Alarm]

Alarm Dismissed.

[Orders Logged: Unit010_100000111 Will Preserve Data Logs of UD Cuicatl, Transfer Data Logs to Class:Dragonmother]

UD Cuicatl is leaking fluid from optical sensors. Monitor Fluid Release Priority.Low. Optical fluid release is an indication of compounding software errors, such as Error.Sadness.

[] Assault
[] Evasive Maneuvers
[] Communicate
[] Do Nothing

All manners of assault are prohibited by Corollary1. Evasive Maneuvers and Do Nothing allow errors to further compound. Communicate risks compounding errors. Further consideration required. . .

[X] Initiate Hug

You slowly float forward and wrap your arms around UD Cuicatl. It stiffens at the touch before leaning in, wrapping its own arms around you. The rate of fluid release increases.

[Query: Alarm]

“What?”

[Rate of Fluid Release Increased]

“It’s fine. Just stay here. Please.”

[Order Logged]

UD Cuicatl continues to vent fluids for 10111000 seconds.

“Am I a bad person?” it asks.

[Query]

“Like, is my software bad? Should I exist?”

[UD Cuicatl Runs Inefficient Terran Software;
UD Cuicatl Exists]

“But should I?” it whispers.

[Trait.Justice Lacks Empirical Evidence;
UD Cuicatl Exists]

UD Cuicatl makes Noise.Hiccup.

“If my software is inefficient enough that it just hurts everyone, including me, would it be a bad thing if it stopped running?”

Termination of UD Cuicatl Results in Failure of Corollary1.

[Negation]

“Why, though?”

UD Cuicatl possesses Trait.Empathy. UD Cuicatl possesses affinity for Unit010_100000111. UD Cuicatl has not attempted to directly harm Unit010_100000111. Conclusion: UD Cuicatl does not seek termination of Unit010_100000111. UD Cuicatl will relate potential termination of Unit010_100000111 to potential termination of UD Cuicatl.

[X] Communicate

[Alarm Lvl 101: Heat Vent Malfunction;
Unit010_100000111 Is Malfunctioning;
Unit010_100000111 Is Bad Class 010 Unit;
Initiating Self Termination…]

Pump Rate of UD Cuicatl increases dramatically. “Wait! No! Stop! You’re a good metang, okay? Really efficient. Don’t do that. Please.”

[Order Logged;
UD Cuicatl Possesses Trait.Good;
Unit010_100000111 Will Protect UD Cuicatl]

Rate of fluid release further increases. Grip strength increases.

Software Errors of UD Cuicatl pose threat to Corollary1.

[Data Request: Debugging of Terran Software]

“What?

[Data Request: Debugging of Terran Software]

“L-like therapy? Do you mean therapy?”

[QueryProgram: Therapy]

Terrans possess dedicated software debugging units. Efficient.

UD Cuicatl has not been flagged for debugging. Inefficient.

[UD Cuicatl Possesses Critical Software Errors That Threaten Further Operations;
UD Cuicatl Requires Software Debugging]

“Can’t afford it.”

[Query: Cost]

“Don’t know. But everything is expensive here.”

[UD Cuicatl Possesses Critical Software Errors That Threaten Further Operations;
UD Cuicatl Requires Software Debugging;
Error:Cost Must Be Resolved;
Unit010_100000111 Possesses Insufficient Information to Resolve Error;
UD Cuicatl Can Obtain Information Via Query;
Request: Query]

“I will later, okay?”

[UD Cuicatl Can Send Queries Via Phone;
UD Cuicatl Possesses Phone;
UD Cuicatl Can Send Query]

It sighs and presses itself out of the hug. “I have no idea if you’re good at this or not.”

[Query: Inconsistency;
Log: UD Cuicatl: You’re a good metang;
Log: UD Cuicatl: I have no idea if you’re good at this or not]

“You’re a good metang,” it says. “Ignore the second thing.”

[Order Logged]

“And can you keep hugging me while I look? It’s a little cold and you’re warm and… and I want to be touched.”

[Order Logged]

[X] Initiate Hug

 

[WildBoots]

Ch 3.18, here we go!

I enjoyed the tension between Grace's dislike of VStar (which, yeah, they seem shitty!) and Cuicatl's reality. Easy to say "go get a scholarship" but maybe not so easy to actually do it and maybe not so easy to make that scholarship worth anything. Then again, she didn't actually try, did she. And this isn't Unova. We don't know yet that Grace isn't kinda right, though it is also pretty clear to me that Grace is speaking from privilege that Cuicatl doesn't have.

Speaking of privilege, I kinda wanted to know more about what it means to be a twelve-year-old trial captain. Cuicatl is hype to make Grace physically small in her own mind, but doesn't seem to have opinions on either Grace's competence/specialness or on whatever privileges helped her get the position.

Kekoa's appearance was brief but interesting! He's learning something, maybe. Or maybe he's still just salty at giving up his pokemon and annoyed that Cuicatl isn't more than he's actually standing on any principles here. I wasn't totally sure if he was keeping the carbink or the inkay for his own team or if he was just taking them to take to VStar.

I liked that the stakes of the battle were about something petty and personal rather than about passing the trial itself. Cuicatl orchestrates the princess treatment for Pix with such care but, oops, it doesn't seem to have swayed her. (And whoops for Noci and Coco. They seem to demand less than Pix, but they're definitely tools in the conquest for Pix's heart here!)

Noci continues to be a delight as ever and always.

Spoiler: Line Reactions

jolts wracking your body with every wingbeat

Suggestion: each wingbeat wracking your body
(You already have jolting in the previous sentence.)

It was reassuring in its own way. Being held by something much bigger and stronger than you.

Oof. Man, she and Pixie both have such mommy issues.

She’s still small, and if you weren’t tiny yourself, you wouldn’t be able to hold on at all.

Missing commas (bolded). Very sure about the first one, less sure about the second one.

This is interesting, though, acknowledging that she's small.

even that’s impersonal, just a force coming from everywhere and nowhere.

Nice.

{Light signatures detected. Initiate ramming?}

Always, baby. You are perfect--never change.

Your breath is torn from your lungs as she divebombs the inkay troupe.

Jarring, since I didn't know there was an inkay troupe at all. I wasn't sure how she knows there are inkay here--can she still sense them if they're dark types? Since she can't see them and probably can't sense them well if at all, I kinda wanted to know how she's finding them.

I'm also curious why VStar finds them valuable? I don't think that's been said already.

if she’s going to ram into the water, anyway.

No comma here!

You take a moment to catch your breath. Literally.

I already assumed it was literal!

Thankfully there’s another question right after you can answer instead.

It’s a careful game.

I kinda wanted to know what the question here was.

If everything was going well you would happily take one in and guide it around Alola.

Ironic that she would be guiding anything. Why does she think it would need guiding?

Things are not going well. Pixie is on the brink of leaving for a violent thief she’s known for three days. But you still have a foot in the door. Two more chances to let her realize that she has no idea what she’s getting into. Taking in a new pokémon now would signal that she’s already been forgotten and replaced. That would kill any chance you have of keeping her.

Oof, this is pretty clinical--she's not upset, just Worried About Pixie. We did get to see this break down a little at the end when she's a little loopy, but this was sort of a bummer.

but you want your cuddly ball of fluff and personality more.

Implies the inkay don't have personality? They seem to have a lot of questions, at least.

You dictate out a short myth

I don't think you need "out." Also, what follows feels more biological than mythological.

You’re pretty sure some psychic has transcribed it at some point but every book has filler. This is yours.

No, Cuicatl! Cut the extraneous stuff and give me the important stuff! I do think she can probably make a case for having a unique take on it via her relationship with her mom's memories, and I'd rather see her make a grab at that than shrug her shoulders and say oh well.

Captive reuniclus use their final breath to give their left side to their trainer and send their right out into the world.

I do like this as a natural conclusion of the biology you're describing here, though.

They fought, mostly.

I wasn't sure at first if this meant with each other (the families) or in wars (the soliders).

a left solosis when your mother found him.

Wasn't he always the left one, though?

Two kids were arguing about dinosaurs and you wanted to correct them because they were both wrong but couldn’t.

*but you couldn't
(Reads more clearly.)

He doesn’t weigh that much but his steps are heavy.

Suggestion: You know he's not big--you've felt his thinness when you hug--but his steps are heavy.

Less so than usual today but the breathing confirms it’s his.

*him

You pull a ball out of your belt

Off of? From?

takes it form you.

Oops

netting you a cool $700 from VStar down the road.

"Down the road" made this read oddly for me.

All while you’ve been distracted by an overbearing ninetales and a frostbite curse. You shiver at the memory.

"While you've been" makes it sound ongoing and clashes with "the memory" for me.

The stars aren’t against you, but they aren’t good. A day governed by the moon.

It's been a while since we've seen her check in with the stars, so I've forgotten how this works. How does blind girl check in with the stars? What is she imagining/picturing?

A small embroidered hummingbird was your best creation.

How does she know it was any good?

Her fur feels well cared for. Kalani isn’t hurting or neglecting her. Physically.

She really needs to believe some kind of excuse is happening.

Kalani trails behind you the entire way there. Because of course she does.

Suggestion: Kalani trails you all the way to Ten Karat Hill.

Wow, Kukui just lets her go wherever, haha.

She’s one of the youngest captains ever at only twelve. Her youth shows.

Interesting that all we're getting from this is immaturity. She must've done something impressive to earn this, right?

My name is Grace, and I am the Trial Captain of Ten Carat Hill.”

Comma

She sounds a little bitter. The static in the air grows heavier and you can feel strands of your hair trying to push away from your scalp, only to be held down by the water weight from the earlier drizzle.

Trimmed/added words. I like this image though. Prickly.

Americans say ‘broke’ when they mean ‘poor.’ You are never supposed to say ‘poor’ when talking about yourself. Or anyone you care about. You can use it to describe other people.

I'm interested in this language play, but I kinda want to know what she thinks the consequences are if she calls herself poor.

“Oh. That’s right. Stupid.

It wasn't clear if she meant herself or Cuitcatl.

“Last two cancel each other out.”

“It’s fine.” You giggle to show how fine it is. And hopefully get her to forget that she hates you.

I was confused who was speaking since there are separate paragraphs and no dialogue tags. This seems to be two Cuicatls in a row, but I was really unsure.

Won’t miss it when the sun comes back.”

This confused me because there was a long gap between bits of dialogue and I wasn't sure what "it" referred to.

“Did you use the scholarships?”

This construction feels a little odd to me. Seems like it should be "did you get scholarships" or maybe "did you use scholarships?"

“When the darkness goes away and I can have a real trial, challengers will have to find some grubbin in the caves.

Why can't they do this in the dark? The cave would be dark anyway, right?

You will be using a rock-type, probably to take down the psyduck. The split god blessed the dragons with resistance to thunder and fire. Coco can take a hit or two from the totem as long as he’s pulling his punches. An ice beam would hurt but maybe she can still get through and land a thunder fang.

This felt a little out of order. I didn't see how Coco was matched against the psyduck for a while.

Pixie couldn’t do much at all to the water-type, and Noci is better off dogfighting the totem.

Comma

She’ll come back at the end, hopefully to score a final big hit and win the whole thing.

Awww, she's staging it like a goddamn romcom reveal. I liked that the stakes here weren't really about the trial but about this smaller, more personal thing.

{Charge the psyduck. Prepare fire fang while you run.”

Again, had no idea here why she was doing this. You've also got two kinds of dialogue.

An unholy buzzing almost immediately breaks out.

This would read more smoothly to me if it were "An unholy buzzing breaks out almost immediately." Might just be preference.

You instinctively know that trying to use your gift would make it all even worse. Damn bugs with their anti-psychic attacks.

I liked the physicality of bug buzz and how it affects her, but I wasn't totally clear on the ramifications. Is it purposefully singling her out and attacking her, or is it just hurting her as a side-effect?

The buzzing lets up just in time for a crack of thunder to take its place.

Is it actually pausing its buzzing or it just that the thunder is drowning out the buzzing?

It’s a new-ish trial and there’s not much information online.

Nice. I like how much of a role this has in training/strategy: using your two thumbs and human brain to look online and plan.

you can hear the scream and growls.

I wasn't clear who was doing what.

She yelps in pain. “Hot water!”

Point-blank scald.

Shouldn't that be curly brackets? I also wasn't sure how Cuicatl knows it's point-blank.

There’s nothing you can do but wait.

This is explained a little better later, but at this moment I wasn't sure why this had to be true.

raging at the sky

What a Coco mood.

You can feel Coco slip into unconsciousness.

*Coco slips into unconsciousness. (And if that feels like not enough, you could give us a simile or some kind of physicality to it.)

“The partner’s down, go for Plan A.”

Plan A is Take Down. Repeat until one side is unable to battle or you get new orders.

I think this is Noci's only plan.

{Nine. Mean size approximately eighty-two cubic centimeters with a standard deviation of seventeen cubic centimeters.}

Noci is the best.

Not as many as you would have hoped. {Try to herd him towards the rocks. They’ll hurt him a lot more than you.}

This was an interesting moment for me: an acknowledgement that they will hurt Noci some, even if it's just less than it'll hurt Buzzy. And Noci just has to be okay with that.

You don’t have that luxury. You can really only stand still and hope for the best.

I think I've said this before, but I have to wonder if she can't use her psychic abilities to tap into her pokemon's senses and understand what's happening so she can do more.

Or if you’ll need to. No need for it if you don’t have an ice-type.

Doesn't Coco run ice fang?

A person?

Here?

Are you hallucinating?

Or are you finally free?

Huh. No idea what this might mean.

You feel out Noci’s great ball to make sure you’re pressing the right button this time.

Does she have them marked with braille?

the small girl says. And you can actually call someone else small for once. If they’re twelve. You won’t think too hard about that.

I know she's loopy, but this didn't quite land for me.

Every Pokémon Center’s sickbay smells about the same. Lots and lots of disinfectant, the faint smell of a flowery air freshener, and a hint of chansey egg. You hate that you’ve spent enough time in them to memorize all that.

Ooh, love the tangible detail here! Yes, yes.

Small suggestion: You hate that you’ve spent enough time in them that the smell alone tells you where you are.

Her voice drips with the medicinal fake-sweetness of cough syrup.

Oof. Excellent.

The captain mutters something about her training but still waits until Pixie’s nibbled up everything from your palm.

Since she's so disoriented in the pokecenter, I wanted a hint here that she's not okay and Grace is right to worry. Shaking legs while Pixie happily eats treats?

“Current president?”

Of-- of Alola? Alola/Unova? How does this work in this setting? 🤔

Now that you think about it, little pieces filter in.

Comma

The ‘nurses’ are usually veterinarians rather than doctors.

The nurses are usually veterinarians, not doctors.

She just places too much love on someone she’s known for three days. Give it another week and she might have learned more about her new “mother” and changed her mind.

I like the sentiment, but I want to pick at the wording.

She just loves someone else more. Who she met three days ago. Give it another week and she might have learned more about her new “mother” and changed her mind.

Shockingly optimistic ending line! Which makes me immediately want to button-mash X to doubt.