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Back for the revised chapter one! I'll turn some closer scrutiny on it this time around, so there are some things I comment on that were in the old chapter but I didn't mention last time because you'd mentioned less feedback on chapter one. Still got plenty to say about everything that's new...

"Abigail said that she had information from the Vaporeon's memories but it didn't really help because it just corroborated something we already know, so she shouldn't say what it is because it'd give a hint about what she can do."

This game was annoying, Mia decided. It had sounded fun, but in practice it was just her having to repeat herself over and over trying to explain basic logic to people who were stupid. Palkia too? Palkia was supposed to be smart. She didn't understand why any of these people couldn't understand...

It was annoying that there wasn't a better choice. If it wasn't Darkwhite, there wasn't much reason to suspect anyone else, and no real time to figure out who else would be a good candidate. "...Skip," Mia said.

"I'm withdrawing my vote too," said Mia abruptly after a long while lost in thought. "I think she can prove her power."

"His evidence doesn't mean anything unless Squirt knew who killed him," Mia said, yet again. Why did only Palkia get it? Palkia made sense. She liked Palkia. "If I said what my gift was it'd become useless. So I'm not going to." As for Darkwhite... Mia was good at telling when people were...

Nobody here made any sense. Mia wished Dave was there. "It isn't a lead when it's based on false premises. It's good to say something is wrong when it's wrong."

Mia fixed Darkwhite with a hard stare. "If you didn't want your powerful power to be known immediately, you could have just not said anything about it. Why did you really tell everyone?"

"And even if Darkwhite didn't kill Squirt, that doesn't mean she's not one of the killers. It just means she's not the one who killed him."

Mia frowned in annoyance. "Why is everyone acting like Lee cleared anyone? I already explained probably Squirt doesn't even know who killed him. I didn't say Lee's lying. I said it doesn't mean anything."

Mia watched and listened. The dating games weren't turning up much useful information so far. But... "Palkia's right. Darkwhite is suspicious." She narrowed her eyes at the Mew-like creature. "My ability isn't weird like the ones she listed either. So the ones she claims she has don't fit with...

I thiiiink it has something to do with quote collapsing? Has definitely happened to me.

Reviewed chapter ten of the envy of eden.

Reviewed chapter ten of the envy of eden. +1 1048 words +1 theme

Ah, Zoroark! Lovely. Also love to hear about what stories the humans tell as a contrast to what the Pokémon do. You've got an extra word in here. haha, nice Ha, neat. I love how abstract and mythological this is, this notion that Zorua has the power of lies and a human could learn from it to...

"I haven't. But I remember Dave telling me about this game after he was in it. It's not a real memory but it must have been put there by the gamemakers, to explain how it works." Did this mean the Delphox wasn't responsible for the memory modification? "He had almost the same ability, to talk to...

"He already said that it was only yes or no."

Mia watched them squabble back and forth. Why was everyone so stupid? She had already pointed out the problem twice. "Why do you all think that Squirt knew who killed him? If he didn't know, then if he could only say yes or no he would have said no, but it doesn't mean it wasn't them. In this...

Mia narrowed her eyes at him in irritation. "So what things could he say? If he couldn't say if he didn't know, then he would've said no even if it was one of them." She glanced at Jesse's chalkboard. "Why aren't I on the list?"

Mia frowned at Lee's information. "If Squirt was behind the door, then he's not really dead," she said. "Why wouldn't you open it?" Of course, this was a game where a lot of things didn't make sense. Dave in his game had been able to talk to ghosts, even though ghosts weren't real, and made no...