The White Elephant in the Room Playground

[IFBench]

"M-my power that I got...it doesn't give me any info," Gen began, still holding onto his scalchop.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse gazed levelly at Gen.

"Son, d'you need any advice usin' yer power? Or d'you reckon y'can levy it effectively to win?"

 

[Fusion]

"M-my power that I got...it doesn't give me any info," Gen began, still holding onto his scalchop.

Lee deadpanned, then sighed. "That's better than nothing, yes. I assume you don't want to go too into it to keep your power safe?"

 

[IFBench]

"I-I think I know how to use it. It...I don't think I can safely say," Gen answered. "A-and yeah, I want to keep it safe."

And myself.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Seein' as Gen has revealed that his power is non-info, but a powerful ability named by Darkwhite, it's probably one of the followin', and this is public info already..."

During day or night, heal any target. The target must be chosen during the previous phase. During day or night, steal the power of the next person to die. At some point in the game, the user will die. At this point they may override a lynch or nightkill to take someone else with them. If both the user and the person sharing their power die, they both win. When either person dies, the group learns of two people who don't share this power. During the day, reverse votes. During the night, kill the first person to visit the user, except for healing users. The user can heal at night, but the second time they would heal someone, the target instead dies.

 

[IFBench]

Gen's expression paled. His scalchop fell onto the parchment as he clutched his reunion cape with both of his arms.

Crap, crap, crap, I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have said that, now I'm in danger!

 

[Shiny Phantump]

"I know the alignment and brought item of one random guest. The alignment info I got back was pretty hazy, so we might have one or more folks whose alignments are hidden even from powers, and/or third party alignments. But this person doesn't seem dangerous, so I'm willin' to work with them. I wanna give them a chance to speak up and prove to me they can be honest,

Abigail laughed. "Need me to repeat myself?"

Abigail scoffed. "My agenda is to fucking survive. Nothing too complicated."

"Technically, though, it's a bit more complicated than than. See, there's another person like me, and we need to keep each other alive, too. Currently, neither of us knows who the other is, but obviously they're about to figure out who I am right about now, then they'll be able to approach me in private.

"The vaporeon was quite sure that, for one reason or another, it was not safe for us to be out in public. Someone, be it or original murderer or someone else wants us dead. Which means you've just put me in quite some danger..."

She smiled. "But I think we can work it out. After all, the murder weapon you saw is the one the vaporeon originally brought, not the one I have right now. Likewise, I saw that you brought 'The Tsukuyomi no Omamori,' but that you don't have it anymore. I have something that's much more useful than that weapon."

Unaware that she was the only one who could see it, Abigail pulled out her item. "This is the Lens of Nia. When charged, I can use it to see wether someone is nice, naughty, or my partner. Of course, it's original purpose was to help me find my partner without having to reveal my identity, but now that we're doing this in public, that won't be necessary anymore.

"Here's my offer: If one of you can keep me safe from being hunted, I will use the Lens of Nia to help you find the killer you're looking for. As an offer of good faith, I can also now confirm beyond any doubt that Lee and Palkia are safe. Oh, and Jesse. I saw that when he identified me."

 

[Tanuki]

The invisible sun went out. The sky went black with no stars or moon to illuminate it. Only darkness.

 

[Tanuki]

Oh. Darkwhite just got an investigation power. Dave had talked about those, in the memory that wasn't.

She could be lying, but why would she? Why would anyone believe she would, when she had proven she had a power that only made sense for the Nice team? There was no good reason for anyone not to vote for her anymore.

"The only thing I find suspicious of her is her aggressive push when we had next to nothing to work with, then how she reluctantly went with the skip wagon after it was obvious no one else was going to vote Darkwhite with her."

"That's not true," Mia explained, irritated. "I pushed on Darkwhite because she had claimed a bunch of powers more complicated than what anyone else had. And others did vote Darkwhite, too. I voted to skip because she wasn't lying, and I thought about the powers she claimed and realized which one she had, and she offered to prove it."

That didn't mean she wasn't on the Naughty team, of course, or that this wasn't obvious now. But people should vote her for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.

There was no point staying here anymore, when nothing else interesting was going to happen. She was done with this game. Maybe once she was out of it she'd be back home, or maybe not. Either way there was no point.

She walked over to the presents under the tree, found the one with her name on it, and pulled on the ribbon. She faded into silence as the gift unwound into a pile of coal.

One more step towards victory, right? The death at least looked painless. At least as painless as everyone's sleep that night. Not even bingo calls came that night. Maybe they'd come in the morning.

Before the absent sun lit the sky, a chorus of calling birds filled the air. Their piercing song accompanied the partridge in the pear tree.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse jolted awake and into the lounge with a start.

"Good fuckin' mornin', y'all! More surreal magic bullshit to start our day off right. And it looks like we voted fer a fuckin' Naughty guest after all, well fuckin' done, and don't feel too fuckin' good about it 'cause this is a fucked up situation and I don't want y'all goin' home thinkin' the way t'resolve yer disputes is through death. Yeah."

He looked about. Not everyone had stirred yet, but surely someone had been killed in the night, judging by the established pattern? He'd find out soon enough. Time to start the day with a powerful push towards their goals.

"Right. Not that what Abigail shared with us just before everythin' went dark weren't plenty persuasive on its own, but I will confirm formally that she was tellin' the truth. That was my original gift she named an' all."

Jesse grinned fiercely. "So, that's one person we weren't sure about, now confirmed neutral, who is sidin' with us Nice folks to survive. Hopefully she's still with us after that unexpected darkness. And Lee! Fuckin' knew you were legit, partner. Glad to have ya with us."

Jesse updated his chalkboard in a flurry of chalk.

Dead	Cleared of 1st & 2nd Murders by Lee	Alignment Cleared by Jesse	Alignment Cleared by Abigail	Uncleared
Squirt	Jesse	Abigail (survivor A)	Jesse	Nilam
Mewtwo	Palkia		Lee	Nocitlalin
Mia (scum)	Darkwhite		Palkia
	Tabitha
	Gen
	Nickit (non-participating)

"Assumin' no horrible upsets or whackadoo power use, things aren't lookin' good fer the Naughty folks. Now, bear in mind that those cleared by Lee could still be accomplices, just ones who ain't murdered anyone yet. Now, I have faith in Darkwhite, and I'd be mighty surprised if Gen turned out to be Naughty though it's certainly possible. That leaves Tabitha and our silent companion the Nickit still needin' verification fer their intentions, even though they have an alibi fer the murders to date. I want to note that I'm not especially suspicious of Nocitlalin, and believe we should be targetin' Nilam in today's vote unless more information arises, with the understandin' that magical bullshit happens all the time in this fuckin' place and could fuck with us. Now, Nilam did vote twice fer Mia already, but that's not proof of Nice alignment."

Jesse caught his breath.

"Oh, and Gen. Don't worry too much, yeah? Y'ain't the biggest target fer the murderer right now, the way I see it. Lee, Darkwhite and Abigail must be top of the hit list right now, given how useful their powers are. And I'm workin' my goddamn tail off to catch the scum, which must piss 'em off somethin' fierce. Y'can relax, son."

Right. Was it too much to hope for that nobody had been murdered? Jesse looked around at the emerging guests with he claws crossed like some superstitious kid. Fuck, if only he had his powers he could keep all these people safe.

His chest tightened as, once again, he thought of dying here before he could return home and make the world right for his family.

Stay safe. Please.

 

[Namohysip]

And then came someone else drifting out of the rooms, wobbling and gasping for air. "N-no... I can't..."

There was a sharp, gleaming arrow shoved through the side of her head. She gasped for breath, then collapsed onto the ground, tongue lolling out.

"It's over for me... I see... a great light...! Jesse... Jesse, are you there? I can't hear you, Jesse...!"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"N-no... I can't..."

Jesse paused his frenetic board-updating to glance round at the voice.

"Darkwhite? What's wrong?"

An arrow? That wasn't how this place worked—

But they didn't know how things worked here. Not really. He could be watching someone die and he was damned if he was going to hesitate to help. Jesse rushed to Darkwhite's side and cradled her in his arms, torn between examining the wound, comforting her, or asking who shot her, because that's what you care about most, isn't it, Jesse? You want to stop the killer more than you want to help the victim.

"It's gonna be okay," he said, voice steady even as his brain faltered. "We'll get you medical attention. You're a mew, you'll be okay."

This was a head wound, that should mean copious blood, but there was none. Was that an artifact of Darkwhite's clearly corrupted physical form? Did she have blood? Maybe this was a survivable wound for her. He wasn't a physician, he didn't know—

"It's over for me... I see... a great light...! Jesse... Jesse, are you there? I can't hear you, Jesse...!"

Jesse closed his eyes and rolled them so far back in his head it hurt. Goddamnit.

Fuck it.

May as well play along.

"Don't go towards the light, Darkwhite," he said, internally cringing at himself. "Stay with me!"

Gods, what bullshit would come next? Surely nothing more embarrassing than this.

 

[Namohysip]

"I need... I need..." She coughed, which produced a swirl of white and black smoke. Her eyes bulged out. "The cure... I need the cure... this arrow is poisoned... it's a poison arrow, and the only cure..." She stared deeply into his eyes. "Is a kiss... from a great, passionate wizard..." Black tears with white light poured from her eyes in thin streams. "Will you be... my savior...?"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse didn't know how to handle this situation. Frankly, all possible actions had unpredictable outcomes and all of them were probably bad. Was this another test of some kind? Maybe he should refuse. Nobody could make him kiss them. But then on the other hand, it wasn't like he had much reason not to, and kudos with other participants was valuable—

He was overthinking this. He knew what Sierra would tell him to do.

"Alright, Darkwhite. If kissin's what'll save yer skin."

Jesse mentally braced himself, and leaned in.

 

[Namohysip]

Her tongue, far longer than it should have been, went down his throat and wriggled like some kind of sentient noodle. Then, she pulled away with a gasp, and the arrow disappeared from her head, along with any sign of the wound. She gasped and embraced him, nuzzling under his neck. "Myyy hero!"

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Jesse stared into space, stunned, while wordlessly returning the embrace. Darkwhite's body felt fluffy and warm, but insubstantial, and where his body made contact with hers, his skin prickled as if exposed to static electricity.

He... Hadn't expected that shit with the... the tongue. Holy shit.

"I'm just glad you're alright," he said, sincerely enough. Hopefully that was all Darkwhite would ask of him in this vein, and hopefully nobody was going to make it their business.

Darkwhite's tongue snaked out and slurped at his collarbone, sending a shiver of intense discomfort down his spine.

Yeah, no. No fucking chance. This was purgatory, and it was just gonna be more of this forever.

 

[Namohysip]

Darkwhite giggled and drifted away. "Anyway, I guess while you're doing your thing, I'm gonna listen to whatever you have to say and leave for someplace nearby. I'm gonna see if there are more of those dumb cards hiding out!"

And with that, she disappeared for the rooftops, searching around the gutters and chimneys and wherever else those cards might have been hiding around.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Alright, well... Good luck."

Jesse shook his head numbly and pawed at his neck, trying to massage the staticky feeling out of his throat. Then he went back to his boards.

Spoiler: GUEST CONDUCT BOARD

Name	Notes	Name	Notes	Name	Notes
Jesse	Yours truly. Let it be on record that I skipped the first two nights, suggested voting for Nickit to provoke a debut dialogue, and for Tabitha and Nilam to demand defences. I voted Mia for a successful lynch. My power is non-info, and a liability if used with insufficient info. I doubt it will ever be of use at this rate. I used a one-off item to identify Abigail as a survivor.	Darkwhite	Plenty of contributions couched in plenty of mischief. Tried an advice gambit to conceal her night-skipping power, but demonstrated it to the advantage of innocents. Initially skipped, but helped lynch Mia by using a one-off item to identify her as Naughty.	Mia	Our first lynch, and confirmed scum. Targeted Darkwhite and Nocitlalin.
Mewtwo	Experimentally voted for Palkia before dying early. My sympathies to the sorry bastard.	Nilam	Voted first for Palkia and twice now for Mia, who turned out to be scum. Concerned with an aggressive pursuit of a successful lynch. Has justified themself, but I personally find their takes flimsy.	Nickit	Dead silent to date. No change forecast.
Lee	Always has thoughts to offer. Cleared Darkwhite and Palkia of Squirt's murder, and furred guests of Mewtwo's murder. Has usually skipped, but now claims he will vote with me. Can interrogate the dead for a single moment each night.	Gen	Terrified out of his wits at all times, no investigative efforts to speak of. Always votes to skip. Claims to have a powerful ability that would make him a target for the Naughty guests.	Tabitha	Has mostly criticised tactically unsound assumptions about behaviour, initially skipped but later voted for Darkwhite in pursuit of information and Nilam to follow my bandwagon. Claims to have a night power.
Palkia	Extensive analysis. Attempted a bandwagon-provocation gambit against Darkwhite before walking it back, and has consequently only skipped. Briefly voted for Abigail, but helped lynch Mia. Claims to have an underwhelming power and a one-off item.	Abigail	Inherited the power and memories of Vaporeon Blue. Is a neutral guest, whose objective is to survive along with her partner survivor, who is unknown. Has an info power that identifies alignment.	Nocitlalin	Aggressively hunted for bingo cards, suggested that day 2 voters might be killers, ie. Nilam. Claims to have proof of innocence, which we are expecting today, and a target redirection power.

Spoiler: VOTING HISTORY BOARD

Day 2 vote: Palkia Skip	Day 2 voters: Mewtwo, Nilam Gen, Lee, Jesse, Darkwhite Nocitlalin, Mia, Palkia	Day 2 lynch: skipped	Night 2 murder: Mewtwo
Day 3 vote: Darkwhite Mia Skip	Day 3 voters: Tabitha Nilam Lee, Abigail, Gen Mia, Palkia, Jesse	Day 3 lynch: skipped	Night 3 murder: skipped
Day 4 vote: Mia Nilam Nocitlalin	Day 4 voters: Nilam, Darkwhite, Abigail, Lee Nocitlalin, Palkia, Jesse Tabitha Mia	Day 4 lynch: Mia (scum)	Night 4 murder: ????
Day 5 vote: Nilam	Day 5 voters: Jesse	Day 5 lynch: none yet	Night 5 murder: none yet

Spoiler: SUSPECT STATUS BOARD

Dead	Cleared of 1st & 2nd Murders by Lee	Alignment Cleared by Jesse	Alignment Cleared by Abigail	Uncleared
Squirt	Jesse	Abigail (survivor A)	Jesse	Nilam
Mewtwo	Palkia		Lee	Nocitlalin
Mia (scum)	Darkwhite		Palkia
	Tabitha
	Gen
	Nickit (non-participating)

Spoiler: LIST OF FUCKING BINGO NUMBERS

B3, B11 I23, I28 N33, N36, N40, N41 G51, G57

"It's like I said earlier. We gotta find out if anyone's been fuckin' murdered, and I recommend we vote Nilam next until we get more info that clears them or implicates someone else. Sorry, pal. Also, we're expecting Nocitlalin to live up to her promise to verify her alignment today. Simple enough. Lee? Abigail? Y'all? Are ya still fuckin' with us?"

 

[Persephone]

Unit001_101110110 Redirected Processes Of UnitDesignate_Mia To UnitDesignate_Nilam.

 

[Chibi Pika]

Palkia was floating upside-down, idly phasing its claws through the tip of its tail. "Well, barring any shenanigans, I can say Abigail certainly ought to be with us." Its face splits into a wicked grin. "No hard feelings for that vote yesterday, I hope."